#SOME DAY YOU WILL ACHE LIKE I ACHE
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
PEOPLE WHO CHANGE JOBS AS MUCH AS YOU END UP HOMELESS, ALONE, AND ON DRUGS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
#traumacore#drugcore#ventcore#ms paint#original art#this is the exact thing my father told me when i lost my job (which i had kept for almost a year at that point) due to covid and the fact#that i was not yet fully vaccinated... i had maybe 2 or 3 jobs before that. i fucking hate my father#I hope he goes the rest of his miserable fucking life filled with regret and I hope he hates himself. I hope he is in agony knowing he was#even WORSE than his own abusive parents. I hope he goes to bed every night crying and knowing exactly how he went wrong and still being#unable to do a damn thing about it because he's a quivering fucking pussy ass coward. who speaks to their kid in the way that he spoke to m#who in their right mind treats their kid like that? praises them one minute#and in the same breath tells them that they will never amount to anything? what a fucking loser and a coward. i hope he rots in hell.#all his children hate him and want nothing or minimal to do with him!!! I hope his heart breaks until the day he fucking dies.#he is a fucking coward and a pussy and a disgraceful excuse for a human being and an even more pathetic excuse for a “father”#EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING SELF HATING PROJECTING CLOSET CASE#SOME DAY YOU WILL ACHE LIKE I ACHE#that last part was a Hole reference btw
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m not even a huge hole fan or anything it’s just that every time I listen to live through this I feel like I am ascending and no song has ever understood me the way doll parts does
#I am doll eyes doll mouth doll legs#I fake it so real I am beyond fake#some day you will ache like I ache#sometimes opal says stuff
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in “Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
279 notes
·
View notes
Text
listen. If you feel like you can’t have a good day today. you can set yourself up for a good day tomorrow.
sometimes if you have a huge amount of work or a bad stomach ache or you just feel bad, it feels like the day is a write-off. and doing the work that’s hanging over your head or eating something healthy isn’t going to fix it or make you feel better today. but it can set you up for tomorrow. rather than thinking of today either as something totally lost or as something that you have to save, let it be a space to make tomorrow better. you’re a friend to your future self and you’re starting a new day, but you’re not starting it without help.
#it also helps give meaning to a day that sometimes feels like it needs some#I say this as someone who has a tummy ache right now#but I can hopefully wake up in the morning without one#and that’s worth working for and looking forward to#also relevant for studying because future you will appreciate any small thing#studyblr#study inspo#personal#study motivation#academia#productivity#text post#university#for when I need a reminder#positivity#advice
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
In delightful news working as a gardener for nearly two years has finally started to develop my arm muscles <3
#need to buy some tank tops cos like my arms are actually muscly#and all from doing actual work#I have not stepped foot in a gym in years#also working as a gardener is very different to hobby gardening#hobby gardening is fun there is tea involved and you take lots of breaks and stop once you’re bored#work gardening is also fun but also includes doing the same repetitive task all day#and ending the day with a full body ache#because you’ve been hauling around heavy bags of plant material walking for miles and/or hauling machinery around all day#with relatively few breaks
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i’ve been in bed for 9 hours now and i want to cry man….! the first days of having a cold suck!!!#my body hurts and hurts even MORE just from being in bed. my head throbs and all i ate today was like#3 bites of ramen and some of the broth. i’ve ‘slept’ abt 2 times#for like. 5mins each. auuughhjh i have to wail somewhere bc the loneliness is also chewing at me#my friend streamed 6 chapters of the first murderbot audiobook so that was nice at least#but guh. i wanted to draw!! guess who brought the sickness in and took us all out#(my careless fuckin mother lmao. she goes out so often and never masks….)#hate being bedridden so bad and i just want to sleep but it’s hard when your body aches and you got nothing for it…….. a#i miss looking at fornax. i hope i sleep soon. life could be a nightmare
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
See now that I have my tattoo I understand why nobody gets just one. First, it looks lonely out here on my otherwise blank leg. Second, perhaps even more important, is that I spent years looking up anecdotes of how much it hurts and trying to prepare myself and now I've done it and it's just. Huh! Yep that hurt. No I didn't really mind. And now I know what's possible.
#I'm planning more around that lonely little bottle of stardust#I want to make it part of a kind of line going up my lower leg#Potion bottles and dice and other fantasy/adventure items#And I want a game boy color with just a sandshrew on the screen but I want that elsewhere#Maybe my thigh#A teal one like I used to have#Anyway I get it now#Also like#All that research and it felt like a medium intensity cat scratch when it's at its worst#Like the hour or two after you get scratched when it's hot and painful#That's how it feels DURING the tattoo#At least where I got it#And then after I didn't feel anything#It was literally five minutes of discomfort and some real pain and then like a kinda warm ache for a few hours and that was it#It didn't even itch for more than a couple minutes one random night about 3 days later
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#matty watches#i am not even talking about things like carol (which absolutely did leave me with an indescribable aching sensation for days)#or bloom into you which i am watching now (i can't get the opening song out of my head and it feels like it's stealing my breath)#i'm talking about fucking Enchanting Grom Fright from the owl house! which made me so so so sad when i watched it back in aug 2020#and WHY. and for WHAT.#god.#it's like. it's some Gender Feelings for sure. plus ya know. my overall shall we say delicate mental state (:#but for god's sake i can't even watch some yuri without wanting to curl up and weep and subsume into the mossy forest floor#gender blogging#matty's mental health#i watched carol when it came out in 2015 while having the worst time of my life working on ssv oliver hazard perry#and like i said. already was having a horrible horrible time. and left the theatre absolutely emotionally devastated#feeling like i'd been shattered & the pieces just leaned back against each other#and not... really knowing why it was hitting me so hard or why i was feeling so fucking fragile about it#and that. was definitely an Egg Moment. i'd started id'ing as nonbinary like 6 months earlier.#idk. this got away from me#what i'm trying to say is. i'm watching bloom into you and i'm feeling incredibly fragile about it.#but also Why do i feel so incredibly fragile about every single fucking piece of lesbian media i've ever seen#ALSO INB4: I AM ALREADY A GIRL BY NOW AND AM A LESBIAN SO IF ANYONE IS GONNA MAKE AN ~I SUGGEST FORCEFEM~ JOKE PLS DON'T
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
im never quite good at dealing with people venting to me because my automatic response is to offer them a solution, and i get frustrated if they continue to vent without taking the solution, especially if it's a simple solution. i am aware that everyone has issues and that things are difficult but sometimes i see my friends and i just get so. envious and annoyed because they can just sit there and whine without even doing anything. which is a cruel thing to think because they do have legitimate issues but every time they're talking im just always thinking in the back of my head just do the fucking thing. Just do it. It doesn't Matter if X and Y are affecting you just fucking do it you have to do it you can't just sit on your ass and not do it. and i don't want to say that to my friends because it is mean and not nice and they have real legitimate issues and i completely understand where they're coming from and why they're struggling but my internal dialogue is a constant manta of "didnt ask didn't care stop being a little bitch and get over yourself and do it" because that's what i have to tell myself to get anything done
#i have a lot of emotions and thoughts and a lot of them are negative#idk. something something American ideology smthn smthn pull yourself up by your bootstraps smthn invidiualism#i get so jealous sometimes because you just get to sit around and do nothing and throw a pity party and I didn't get that#i didn't get to sit around and do nothing why do YOU#And I know that's a bad thibg to think and that both of us should have been able to rest#But oh does it make me ache#idk. I'm a problem solver. my response is usually How Can I Fix This and not Oh Its Hopeless Time To Cry#like if it is hopeless I know I tried all my options and there is nothing I can do#but with some people it feels like they throw their hands up and quit the second there's an issue and don't even try to bother solving it#and i know im also a hypocrite because sometimes I don't take the easy answers but that doesn't stop me from getting annoyed!!!!!#I get so irritated so quickly!!! Aughhhh!!!!!#I'm just tired rn#ive had multiple people have multiple problems come to me over the past few days and I don't mind helping them out at all#but sometimes it feels like they're just wallowing in their own misery and not actually doing anything#which I Know isn't True!!! But part of me still feels that way!!!#i usually don't vent about shit like this because I don't want people seeing my bad thoughts and thinking I secretly hate them#but ough. Oughhhh#tiny child me screaming that it's not FAIR because I DIDNT GET THAT. Why do YOU GET THAT WHY DIDNT I#unfortunately.#lilac post#vent#im probably gonna delete this because there's some people I talk to who I'm worried will see this and think im like.#secretly vague posting about them whicb like no
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Knowing/talking to @astrxlfinale is like this video (x). You're the random stranger and he's the artist jamming out with a wonderful song, making your day. Every single time.
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ literally i've been packing and then re-packing for 'ease' almost continuously the last 2 days; my back hurts. ]#[ my wrists ache. i had to go out today to get cat litter to refill mara's box with after arriving tomorrow. and it's heavy as hell. ]#[ and it makes the wrists worse. and then it ends up raining like hell. anyway you know-- it's just not a fun day. ]#[ and then /bam/. ]#[ day is made better easily. ]#[ and the serotonin eases everything. ]#[ some people are just light personified. and jace is one is one of them. ]#[ /muah. ]#[ definite recommend for everyone. ]#astrxlfinale
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lol. Lmao even. I am having a great time, physically. (Dump below)
#the best part with like this flare up i guess of chronic pain has been i dont even know who to talk to about it like. sorry its just that#for the last year ive been getting diagnosed with pots and thats i think kost of it#but at least for like last 8 months my every day pain has been getting worse and worse. my body aches my joins ache.#some days i cant even really do anything when i get home cause even my fingers ache. i cant do anything after work anymore because i need to#just come home and lay down i cant do anything else#and im just like. it doesnt hurt so bad all the time but its always there. in the back of my head. singing.#and i dont lnownwhat tondo i want to just keep being a person but rn its getting harder and harder every week#and ive tried to like. broach the topic with my two friends who have chronic pain and they were both just like yeah haha same#and i yotally get it they dont have to feel bad for me or whatever but im just like. thats it? what do i do what do i do anymore right?#and i cant talk about it with the people who dont have chronic pain bc theyre all panicky already and i dont know how to tell them infeel#like im dying or something. i feel like a breaking down robot!!!! blah blah blah i know this isnt an original experience but i feel so alone#and scared i just dont want to be in pain all the time. you know.#he speaks#SORRY THIS IS THE LAST SM WHERE IDC WHAT I SAY
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i always have to have something wrong with me at all times and there are always about fifteen different factors that could have caused that Something Wrong With Me so i can never fix it
#fearandhatred#for a long while i got sick really easily and i would wake up with colds that would last the whole day (and only a day)#and i could not figure out why#like did i not drink enough water? exercise? did i sleep late? period? etc.#and for the longest time i didn't know what it was until i discovered MOLD IN MY ROOM#and even then my dad kept guilt tripping me saying it was because i never drink enough water#even though i do. and even though my symptoms became itchy throat and ears on top of my colds#and then my mom made me move to my brother's room and all my problems cleared immediately lol. after months or maybe years#see what happens when you listen to your child#wait i went on a tangent but basically now my jaw hurts. like one side is tight#and idk if it's because i'm stressed or i grind my teeth in my sleep or i have a tooth decay or because i keep not wearing my retainers#anyway i always have to have something wrong with me which is funny because if i'm not sick then some part of my mouth hurts#or i accidentally injure myself#or one part of my body aches for no reason#or i'm on my period#genuinely cannot catch a break from this SHIT like bro i'm too young for this#anyway. peace and love
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age
#like when i have to talk to ppl my age irl they sound old af 😭 and im like are they old or just actual adults?#like i know when to act mature but when in the same age group i feel like i should have my adult voice on#like a customer service voice but more casual???#like for this get together i’m fear i might be one of the youngest ppl there besides like the children of everyone else 💀 like i can go#can’t***#hangout w them and later ima go see my friends and it’s more relaxed but it’s not like we talk about random shit#like we don’t listen to the same music watch the same shows or movies anymore#or they say oh i don’t have time for that or i don’t watch/listen to that many more#????? what do you do? and they’re not on social media besides fb or twt#like unfortunately i’m part of the chronically online 💀💀💀 but i can’t just be like oh im knitting this or crocheting that because that’s my#old lady hobbie i picked up in hs and they were like that’s old ppl shit#they talk about work but i find that so boring idc about what i do everyday that shit stays the same 😭#like it’s interesting to listen to them because i don’t do it but my job it’s same day in day out#and if we talk about fitness it ends up at oh i gained some weight or i lost x amount that means i can have a xyz and not care ….#we are mid to late twenties when tf did you get heartburn 😭 and wtf is that ??? i’ve heard about it but what do you mean??? when did that#start??? like yeah old bones and body aches but damn another meme post about it 😭 stop#like what did i miss when did i stop looking where did yall learn all this#at this point i think im just immature#like my random shit is gonna be ceo/luigi and sk then what i can’t bring up rap kpop spotify wrapped anime my excitement for some local yarn#how i don’t think lady gaga is a good actress or that im lowkey upset about the wicked movie#or that there’s gonna be an american psycho remake like they’re not gonna care#and i can’t be like tf is an appetizer ? that isn’t just restaurant and tv show shit ?#I CANT TELL THEM ABIUT MY PERIOD SHOES I FEEL LIKE THEYRE TONNABNOT LAUGH#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain#progress maybe complain about grocery prices 😭😭😭#omfg wtf am i supposed to where to the get together with appetizers FUCK#is it chill to go in shorts and a tshirt ????? i’m sure they know we’re the ones smoking outside they can just assume i’m too chill#let’s hope someone has a baby and i can distract them w my ability to somehow charm babies 😭😭😭😭#omg what if their kids are blaming us for the weed smell !?? like imma not narc but i’ve seen them out there too#like idk if they’re college age but i don’t think they’re open about it and im the freak taking walks past midnight 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
4 notes
·
View notes