#SO important bc i had busy shit going on during the day

[july-19th-club]

not my insomniac ass waking up seventeen times a night in the middle of the workweek once a fucking gain

[wtfsteveharrington]

c l o s e t o y o u | carmen berzatto x reader

we've got so much history baby

description: set months after your breakup, you and carmen navigate what it means to be separated. you're trying to move on but waves always return to the ocean.

warnings: kinda angsty but also hurt/comfort. mutual pining even tho you're both trying to pretend it isn't there. miscommunication. kinda mentions of cheating if you squint but not really. no one has cheated but what to call this vibe irdk so! also mentions of using the bathroom if that bothers you!! it's quick!

smut warnings: oral/fingering reader receiving, spanking, dirty talk, hints of dom!carmy, unprotected sex but backshots for 'safety', sexting, semi public sex, lots of hickies/bruises talk bc carmy's a lil shit, multiple mentions of masturbation for both, reader has a drunk bar make out phase post breakup. reader is afab but no major descriptors used.

word count: almost 9.2k. the longest thing i've written so far!

a/n: dare i say this might be my favorite thing i've written possibly. aiming to make this a three part series but possibly could go longer.... i hope you enjoy <3

maybe you and i were meant to be / maybe i'm crazy

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Carmen’s eyes are trained on you from the second your front door opens. His hands stalled halfway through taking off his jacket, only one shoe clattering across your entryway. 

“Where’ve you been tonight?” 

Which you have no choice but to shoot him a warning glance in response. It was late, you didn’t have the energy for a fight and that’s the complete opposite reason of why you texted him to come over. “I was on a date, Carmen.” 

He physically deflated at your answer. “Oh.”

You can’t meet his eye, can’t risk seeing his reaction. Would he be upset? Indifferent? It’s hard to decide which would be worse.

When you had broken up a few months ago the roles were clear - A case of ‘right person, wrong time’. He was busy, so endlessly busy. Working late into the night and heading in randomly during the morning or afternoon if he was needed. Which he could easily decide he was.

For as long as you could remember Carmen always took Tuesdays off to spend with you and get life in order. That way he had Monday to help the restaurant recover from the weekend and could trust them to handle what was, usually, an easier day. It was a tradition you took seriously and the two of you regularly made plans together every single Tuesday. Date nights, day trips, a mixture of adventures. It didn't matter what you were doing together so long as you had Tuesday to look forward to and help get you through the week.

Yet things started picking up. More celebrity dining requests, more magazine and tv interviews, more, more, more.

And it wasn’t that you misunderstood how important the restaurant was. Far from it. There were many nights where Carmen would come home a ball of anxiety because it took an hour longer than he anticipated and he knew it wasn’t fair to you. There would be a mess of apologies as he barreled in the door, bracing himself for a fight or to see your disappointed face. All of which you happily soothed by repeating constant mantras - The restaurant was his baby; you weren’t upset; take a deep breath; we’re okay. 

Then eventually you stopped saying you weren’t upset, stopped saying you two were okay. Eventually you stopped waiting up for him at all. At first Carmen would shower and climb into bed, confused if he should attempt to hold you or not. Your sleeping (Fine, sometimes you faked being asleep too) frame with your back turned to him. The blankets pulled tight around your body acting like a shield. 

Finally he just started sleeping on the couch. 

So yeah, the fall apart came quick. It was an avalanche neither of you could control nor did either of you want. There was still love between the two of you - But again it’s the right person, wrong time. 

You avoided each other for the following weeks. Carmen threw himself even more into work and you took a week of PTO to go visit one of your friends. He wondered if you were safe, you wondered why none of the people in the bar tasted the way he did. Your friend encouraged you with every sloppy make out conquest but it always ended there. You wanted to get Carmen out of your mind but weren’t ready for him to not be the last person who fully touched you. 

It didn’t work but does it ever?

Carmen watched your Insta far more than he should have. Risking way too many glances down at his phone during his free time to see if there were any updates about how you were doing. As if you’d post photos with long captions that mimicked a therapy session but he didn’t know where else to go. Sydney would report back what your story shows no matter how much Carm insisted he didn’t care. 

Because he didn’t, okay? He was fine. He knew it was for the best. Right? 

And then you posted a photo of yourself in a low cut top laughing in a bookstore. He zoomed in to see what titles you had in your arms as if they were clues and his eyes definitely didn’t linger on the swell of your cleavage. He didn’t think about how many nights he took for granted watching as your back arched up under him and you begged for more. He didn’t think about the way you’d crawl into bed at night and his mind would instantly rid itself of anything but you. He didn’t jack off to memories of you in the shower every morning because thinking about someone else, watching porn of other people, it didn’t feel wrong. No, that wasn’t the case at all. 

You, on the other hand, turned on Google alerts for anything relating to The Bear or Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. Most of it was just good Yelp! ratings or fluff pieces from the local papers. He wasn’t one for posting on social media, in fact you weren’t sure he used it at all but you still posted like he was, but sometimes you’d find yourself scrolling through Sydney’s feed to see if she was giving you any crumbs. Sometimes, if you were really desperate, you’d find yourself in Richie’s feed even. It was pathetic but you can’t help it. 

One late night you came across an Instagram story post Sydney had up. Carmen leaning against a pinball machine at some gaming bar downtown. His hair was pushed back, eyes crinkled up with laughter. He looked at ease, peaceful. You wondered if anyone there felt the same… Was someone whispering to their friends and trying to build the encouragement up to go talk to him? Would he respond? 

Right, it wasn’t your place to care anymore. Yet you still cried yourself to sleep and yearned for when things felt so much easier. 

Yeah, the breakup wasn’t exactly going well. 

A few weeks ago you came across Carmen at the grocery store of all places. Both of you had gotten so used to doing the shopping Tuesday mornings and, logically, you were both comfortable going to the location just like you had been weekly for months. Your breath caught in your throat and God he looked better than you remembered. The first thing out of his mouth was, “Great sale on gouda this week.” And the only thing your brain could conjure up was, “Well that’s gouda.”

You both stayed silent for a moment before bursting out in laughter. 

Laughter turned to getting lunch around the corner. 

Lunch turned into you straddling Carmen’s waist in the car while parked in the very back corner of the parking lot and riding him until your eyes watered and you couldn’t focus long enough to keep a rhythm. He wrapped his arms, such strong arms, around your waist and fucked up into you for all that he was worth. Trying to prove himself in whatever capacity you allowed. 

If he couldn’t love you like he wanted, he could at least fuck you better than anyone else would.

Once you two broke the seal of seeing each other it was hard to stop. There was almost a forbidden aspect to your relationship now that caused a small thrill to run down your spine every time you saw him late at night. You were pretty sure no one knew you started… Seeing each other again and you were both content keeping it a secret. 

So that’s how you ended up here. Standing across from him at 11 o’clock at night on a random Wednesday. You try not to wonder if he left ‘early’ the second you reached out, instead convincing yourself that it just so happened to work out he was ready to go within minutes of you sending your ‘My place tonight?’ text during this horrific blind date your co-worker set up. 

Jonathan, 6’1, finance major turned CPA for his family’s company. He was… Fine. Just fine. You left on good terms in case you wanted to call on him for back up one lonely night. The problem was no one else was Carmen no matter how hard you tried to look for him in the people that passed by.

And there he stood across from you with hair falling into his face and his eyes looking up at you like you’re crafted from Heaven. A skirt, thin tinted tights, a shirt that exposed just enough skin but not too much. The soft shimmer across your eyelids and glossy lips from the lip balm you’ve been continuously applying since you knew he was on the way. The last time he saw you like this was when you were fighting because Carmen accidentally showed up 15 minutes past when you were supposed to leave for a birthday party at your friend’s house and that night ended with you locking him out of the bedroom while he had to pretend he couldn’t hear you crying in the next room. He really didn’t mean to be late. Sometimes the nights just got taken away from him. 

Carmen hated that you were dressed up for someone else but he pretends you just threw this on for him.

Your arms cross your chest, totally not attempting to push up your breasts, and you let out a sigh while you stare at Carmen. “This has to be the last time.” His face is stoic, a perfect poker face. The last time? Break up or not he couldn’t imagine there being a last time he saw you. Half the time he forgets, still referring to you as his partner while brushing it off and refusing to correct himself. Then there’s times where he comes home to his empty apartment and realizes you weren’t there to light the long forgotten candles on the coffee table or open up the windows to air the place out. 

He closes the space between the two of you and stares at your face. Searching for answers he’s too scared to ask for. Your resolve is breaking, cracking under the weight of having him so close. Beautiful eyes staring at you, the way he smells like the cologne you bought for your last anniversary and clean laundry. If you weren’t so drunk on the sight of him you would have put it together that Carmen kept clean clothes at the Bear to make sure he could change before he came to see you. 

You’re both silent for a moment before there’s two hands wrapping around either side of your neck and Carmen’s dragging you two together for a kiss. God, he couldn’t stand the idea of someone else kissing you. Would they even do it right? Do they know the way you moan when he licks into your mouth or the way you always grab ahold of his wrists when he cups your face? Do they know the way you forget to breathe sometimes when you’re lost in it? He’d have to pull back in order to give you a second to gasp in a rush of air. Does whoever you were with tonight know any of that? 

You pull away from Carmen with a broken out moan, silva connecting your mouths and the faint taste of cigarettes on your tongue from him. Clamping your hands on his shoulders you just faintly push the two of you apart, trying desperately to collect your thoughts. Carmen crying during the break up, sobbing in your bed, living on autopilot for weeks, the way he kisses you like he’s scared it’s the last time anymore because it very well just might be. Everything coming back to you in flashes as he stands before you once again. 

“I called you here for a reason, Carm.” His eyebrow is cocked, eyes flickering down to the bulge in his jeans that started growing the second he kissed you. “Uh - Yeah? Isn’t that what… I thought that’s what we were doing?” Carmen’s leaning in again, letting his lips connect to your neck. Warm kisses being pressed in a path up to just below your ear. “No uh, oh, remember how you let me keep the cast iron?” He hums in response, teeth nipping at your earlobe while broad hands start grabbing at your waist. “Yeah, uh huh, the cast iron skillet.” Fuck the stupid cast iron. He’s much more concerned with hooking fingers in the waistband of your skirt, attempting to pull it down while you’re fighting to stay focused. 

“Well my friends came over the other night and oh Jesus.” He’s licking a strip up your neck now, only half focused on your story. “Carm, please, they were helping me clean up and someone left it soaking in hot water overnight.” That’s finally got him freezing in place, his aroused little sounds quickly turning into a groan of annoyance. “Fuck. That ruined-… I mean, the seasoning has to be ruined. Assuming it rusted?” You nod helpless, fingers dragging along his chest while Carmen stares over your shoulder.

His eye twitches involuntarily. 

There’s a deep sigh coming from his body as he steps around you, finally kicking off his long forgotten second shoe before walking further into the apartment to head towards the kitchen. 

And listen, it wasn’t that you were necessarily concerned so much with the pan. Sure the two of you had purchased it together during the first few weeks of talking. Carmen cooked breakfast with it every Tuesday morning and showed you how to care for this damn pan. It was the closest you two came to owning a pet just… In the form of a nine inch cast iron skillet. You were more curious if he would care. A simple way of testing the waters to see if he just cared about getting laid or still cared about you. The answer should have been obvious but you still had to know.

You follow behind him and wince at the stream of expletives that easily fall from his tongue at the sight of the pan in the sink. It wasn’t horrible but wasn’t ideal. “Y’know, crazy thing is I’m pretty sure I can guess who did this. They kept trying to convince me cast iron wasn’t any different from a standard pan no matter how many times I tried convincing them that just wasn’t the case.” He’s grumbling to himself while crouching down to fish out supplies from under the sink, easily navigating your apartment from memory. The two of you had bounced between your places and talked about moving in together once his lease was up. Going as far as touring a few locations but the conversation was long forgotten once the tensions started building. 

As much as Carmen claims he didn’t see it coming, he resigned his lease almost two weeks before the break up officially happened. 

You hop up onto the counter next to the sink and watch as Carmen gets to work restoring your pan. “Think it's gonna make it through? I can't believe this is how it might end for the poor thing. All because I wanted to make your chicken piccata.” A few of his recipes had stuck with you and sometimes you find yourself making them when you’re missing him extra at night. 

“Nah, it’ll be fine. Just some surface damage s’all.” You watch as the muscles in Carmen’s arm move with the scrubbing motion, your lips itching to kiss over every exposed tattoo. Snap out of it! This is just sex between two consenting adults trying to let off some steam. That’s all. You’re both just comfortable and it would take way too much effort for someone random like Jonathan to learn what you like. 

Carmen catches you staring at him, not that you were being subtle about it, and feels heat blooming in his chest. He grabs one of your kitchen towels and gives the skillet a good pat down before sitting it upside down to dry off. It’s not perfect, not yet at least, but he’s pretty sure he’ll explode if it takes any longer to finally get his hands on you. 

“You look pretty tonight.” He’s coming to stand between your knees, reaching up to you with the hem of your skirt as you hum out a small “Thank you.” It seems like every time you see him lately you forget just how blue his eyes are. So easy to get lost in them especially from this close. Your hands come up to gently trace the features of his face. Just the ghost of a touch but Carmen’s soaking up the affection. He tilts his head in order to press a kiss to your palm. 

His hands are dragging up your thighs, feeling the material of your tights under his touch. “Know how much you hate wearing these.” Your heartbeat is picking up so much it’s making you jittery, hands wrapping around the edge of the countertop to grip it as hard as you can. Keeping yourself steady. “Help me take ‘em off?” You arch your hips up off the counter as an invitation for Carmen. He’s wasting no time grabbing ahold of the waistband and dragging them down your body, groaning to himself as inch by inch your skin gets exposed to him. 

Neither of you miss the way you press your thighs together once they’re freed, hips twitching in anticipation. The tights are getting tossed across your apartment and left to be tomorrow’s problem. Carmen falls to his knees in front of you, letting them dig into the harsh tile of your kitchen while in pursuit of making his mark on you. He’s grabbing ahold of your ankles, bringing one of your legs over his shoulder while the other is brought up to his lips. 

Your eyes fall closed as Carmen starts trailing a string of delicate kisses along the length of your calf. His lips ghosting across your knee until he reaches the fleshy part of your thigh. While your hands finally escape the countertop and find their way laced into Carmen’s hair, he wraps his lips down against your thigh to start sucking a small bruise into your skin. “Carmy,” You hiss out, “What if I see Jonathan again? How am I gonna explain these?” But you’re not pulling his head away, instead doing quite the opposite by keeping his head in place. 

Carmen practically growls against your skin, a low and guttural sound coming from the man. His grip on you tights while he mumbles against you, “Fuck Jonathan.” You scrub your fingers against his scalp as Carmen finds another patch of skin on the opposite thigh to begin sucking a bruise into. His head ducking lower and lower under your skirt, the material finally getting you to pull your hands away from him.

Against all better judgment your thighs fall more open as he works his way down your thighs. There’s a series of small moans and whimpers coming out of you with no control as he reaches the top of your thigh, his nose dragging along the cloth covering your core. “D’you wear these for him? Or did you put them on knowing you’d end up texting me.” It’s impossible to answer when you feel his tongue drag along you, your hips rocking up towards his mouth. He’s bringing his hands up under your skirt now too and grabbing handfuls of where your thighs meet your hips to hold you down in place. 

“They’re purple, aren’t they?” A color Carmen had long ago decided he liked best on you. Something about the way the color compliments your skin… In all honesty, you were pretty sure he had purchased the exact pair you were wearing. You started the night with no intention of your date getting anywhere near your bed but instead being under the frame of the man who was exactly where you wanted him. 

He guides you to scoot you closer towards the edge of the counter, making sure you’re comfortable before mouthing over you once again. Hot, open mouth kisses being pressed almost exactly where you need them. One of his hands comes around your frame to grab a handful of the fleshy part of your ass while the other hooks a finger into your underwear, pulling the material to the side to expose you. 

There’s cool air being blown against your overheated body and your hands fly back to clutch at his back, his neck, the hair that’s exposed from under your skirt. Whatever inch of him you can find is being clung to like a lifeboat. He’s kissing the skin where your thigh meets your center, lips ghosting along the outer side of your folds. It only takes a few more pathetic whimpers before he finally takes pity on you and you feel his tongue go flat at the base of your hole, dragging up long and slow all the way to your clit. 

He groans into your core and the vibrations make you start to lose your mind. “Fuck. Fuck!” Carmen’s got your clit between his lips now, bobbing his head just slightly while he goes right to sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves. If you didn’t want to be teased then he’d give you everything you wanted. One of his hands comes up under his chin now, a finger pressing into your tight entrance as his tongue works to lap at your clit, your folds, even dipping into you whenever his finger pulls all the way out.

A second finger slides into you while his attention focuses back to making out with your clit. You can’t keep track of the way he alternates between kissing and licking at you while his fingers push in as deep as he can get them. “So good, Baby.” Baby. It comes out of you by force of habit and it makes him twitch in his boxes. If you weren’t so drunk on him you probably would have started overthinking but he’s making sure your focus is on nothing else but his mouth for now. Carmen’s chin is slick with everything you’re giving him as he eats you out as if he’s a dying man and this is his last source of solace in the world.

“C’mon Honey.” He’s cooing against you, fingers crooked just how he knows you like it. There’s sloppy licks being delivered to your clit as his fingers pump in and out. His hand finally leaves it’s grip on your ass to apply a gentle pressure to the top of your mound, pressing down against the flesh to add yet another sensation. “Can feel how tight you’re getting. You wanna come for me so bad, don’t you? Be good for me.” 

Your hands fist around Carmen’s hair, hips rocking up against him and it doesn’t take long for an orgasm to wash over your body. You seize up at the feeling, thighs clamping around Carmen’s head as he licks you through it. He’s only giving you a moment to recover when you feel his fingers slide out of your sensitive body and he can’t help but go back to licking out the mess you’ve made.

“Gonna fuckin’ kill me, Carmen.”

He’s smirking against you but taking the hint. Your thighs shaking as he pulls back from under your skirt, taking a moment to appreciate the handiwork that was the bruises covering your thighs while you take a moment to recover. The way your pussy looks so pretty covered in the mixture of your arousal and his spit. Carmen can’t help himself but to swirl his thumb around your clit, your hips jolting up as you reach out to grab ahold of his wrist. “Need a minute please.” 

Carmen nods and stands up, wasting no time making work of unbuckling his belt. You collect your thoughts well enough to start unbuttoning his jeans for him, letting your fingers linger on his jean clad hardened length. “You, uh -” You won’t meet his eye, opting instead to start pulling his pants down his toned thighs. “You still okay not using a condom?” A roundabout way of saying ‘I’m clean, are you?’. Carmen nods as if it’s the most insane question in the world. Even if he’s not with you anymore, it’s still only you for him for as long as he can see coming. “No one but you.”

You can’t meet his eye, a wave of guilt washing over you concerning your earlier date with Jonanthan that quickly gets pushed away when Carmy grabs ahold of your jaw and brings you in for a haphazard kiss. Mindless, heavenly kissing. The two of you getting lost in the way your tongues know just how to navigate one another while your hand slides into his boxes and begins lazily 

“Gotta fuck you or I’m gonna cum on your hand like a fuckin’ teenager.” You giggle into his mouth but slide yourself off the counter nonetheless. Giving him one more tender kiss before turning around to bend yourself over the counter. It’s not the most gracious process but you’re tugging your shirt over your head on the way down, pitching it somewhere else to deal with later. 

He’s looking at every inch of you. Underwear still pulled to the side, the way the lace of your bra looks against your back. Memorizing every detail he possibly can just in case you wise up and stop letting him come over to defile you like this at night. 

Carmen is dragging the head of his cock through your folds, tapping it against your clit while you whine and rut back against him. The weight of his jeans and belt resting heavy against his ankles and keeping him grounded enough to not spill his load before he even makes it inside of you. You weren’t used to taking him all the time anymore, a thought Carmen can’t dwell on, so he goes inch by inch and gives you time to adjust to the girth of him. He was thicker than anyone you’d been with before and every random hookup together lately reminds you of the first time you felt him stretch you out. 

It burns in the best way possible and he’s so tender while you get adjusted. Waiting until you start fucking yourself against his length to take that as his sign you were finally ready for him. Carmen still starts slow, a teasing pace of pulling himself nearly all the way out before sinking right back in. “Pussy’s like heaven.” It makes you oddly proud to hear him call that out. To know you still have an affect on him after all this time.

“Think about fuckin’ you all the time.” He’s picking up speed now, “Think about how good you feel stretched around me. Such a good slut for me, aren’t you? Bending over and practically begging for it.” His words, once again, make your head spin. It was a common theme with Carmen. Your fingers lace in your own hair, desperate to grab ahold of something. “Always wanting you to fuck me, Carm. Dream about how good you make me feel.” Like you two were meant to fit together perfectly. 

There’s a lewd clapping noise coming from the way your ass smacks against his frame with each deep thrust. Eventually your arms give out, torso falling flat against the shockingly still cool countertop while Carmen fucks into you for all he’s worth. A firm slap is being delivered to your ass that causes you to yelp out, rolling your hips back against him at the same time as an act of encouragement. 

His mind is taken up with how good you feel. You’re perfectly stretched around him and leaking out around his base. So wet, so beautiful, so perfect. There’s a hand sliding up your back until it’s fisting around your hair, gently tugging at it and the new sensation has these pornstar worthy moans escaping you. Your loud and needy brain is completely empty as Carmen destroys you the way he knows how. 

“D’you think about me fucking you while you were sitting across from some asshole all night? Poor little pussy almost got fucked by someone who doesn’t know how to treat it.” His words are so casually spoken with just the right amount of bite that it’s causing your brain to melt. Jonathan didn’t stand a chance of getting within two feet of your panties, just another mindless date in your series of attempted ways to ‘get over Carmen’ which clearly wasn’t going well. He bottoms out in you, every inch of his length pressed as firmly as he can into your core. It’s so much, so full and he’s got you pinned in place. Unable to do anything but be used by him, just how you both know you love to be. “Or did you go just to make me jealous? Put on your slutty little panties and went to dinner knowing you’d text me to come fuck you tonight.” 

He’s grinding his hips into you on the impossible quest to get even deeper. It’s possessive, claiming, and you’d probably even be a little annoyed by his behavior if you were in a better state of mind. For now you’re bent over the counter with bruises blooming all over your thighs and enjoying an odd jealous streak coming from someone who, technically, has no right to be jealous. It’s making you feel dizzy and your heart throb and your pussy clenching around him. “You gonna keep talking or you gonna fuck me, Carm? ‘Cause if not I’ll call him to finish the job.” 

You liked riling him up. 

Another sharp smack is being dealt to your ass when Carmen starts to pick the pace back up. His hands are tight on your hips and his pace is brutal. There’s grunts coming from behind you that are making your head spin and if you were more coherent you’d be a bit more embarrassed about the drool sliding from the corner of your mouth as your boyfrie-….. Well, as Carmen takes care of you. He’s admiring the bloom of his handprint on your skin, brushing his hand along it before pressing firmly down to help soothe the buzzing sting of pain. 

He wasn’t fucking you as often, didn’t have you nearly as well trained anymore. These bi-weekly meetings are not doing nearly enough for your body. He used to be able to fuck you right through an orgasm and you’d keep going. So used to him working your oversensitive clit to his liking. Now you whine while grabbing his wrist and whimper out pleas for him to give you a few minutes. He hates not knowing your body as well as he used to even if he still knows you pretty damn well.

So when he feels you getting closer, he’s taking note. Keeping his pace exactly the same and letting his hand crash down against the tender flesh of your ass again. “You gonna give me another? C’mon, Honey. Can feel how bad you need it.” And you do. God you need every orgasm you’re lucky enough to get from him. 

Your hips buck and twitch and you let out a series of uncontrolled moans as your orgasm starts to wash over your body. If Carmen wasn’t between your legs then your thighs would have snapped shut while your toes curled and your heart started beating faster. You could practically hear it beating in your own ears. “S’good, so good. Thank you, thank you. Shit, thank you.” A mess but you couldn’t judge yourself. 

Carmen’s pulling out when he’s close after just a few more strokes, frantically jerking off his length to keep the sensation going. You’re rolling your hips back and riding out the waves of your own orgasm, glancing back over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of Carmen with his head tossed back and brows knitted together in concentration. “Come on me, Baby. Wanna feel every drip on my skin. Maybe I’ll let you take a picture of it dripping down all the pretty bruises you gave me.” 

That’s all it takes for him to come undone. Warm spurts of cum landing along your back, your thighs, some of it dripping down your folds. The feeling is pulling wanton moans from your mouth that send Carmen into orbit. God, he doesn’t want to come back down to Earth. Collecting his breath and trying to keep himself upright while the aftershocks of his orgasm wrack through his body. How was he supposed to stay away from you when it felt like this? Especially when you just kept calling him baby.

He stopped cumming inside of you since the breakup. It made sense, kinda. But you hated it. Felt like a waste even though you wouldn’t overstep and ask for him to go back to finishing inside of you. He would, by the way. Without a second thought he’d bury himself in until he couldn’t go any further and fuck his cum into you as deep as possible. 

You feel a finger swiping up some of his cum off your backside and soon enough it’s pressed to your lips. Without a second thought you take the digit into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it while licking him clean. He wants some of it inside of you one way or another. A subtle way of still putting his claim on you.

The two of you take a moment to recover after Carmen pops his finger out of your mouth. His hands are running a circuit up and down the side of your thighs and torso, still enjoying the view of your body relaxed against the counter in front of him. The tile was starting to become painful as your stomach bent over it but you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet. You didn’t fully trust your legs to support your weight without the counter for support. 

Carmen’s rustling around behind you now. Reaching down to pull up just his boxes but kick his jeans the rest of the way off finally. He’s not ready for the stimulation of such a heavy material against his sensitive skin yet. There’s a clattering from the sink area as he retrieves another towel to get wet for you and a cup to fill with water. Your eyes feel heavy. Mind’s at ease having Carmen around again, not that you’ll admit it, and your body feeling languid after being fucked so well. 

There’s a glass of water being sat in front of you. “Drink.” So you prop yourself up on your elbows and nurse small sips of the water while the cool rag gets to work wiping down your backside from the mess he made. His fingers ghost along the tender flesh of your ass where he was spanking, “Feeling alright?” You hum into the cup, giving him a small waggle of your behind to reassure any concerns he had. 

He gets you cleaned up in silence, letting the both of you enjoy the simple moment. Carmen always prided himself on taking care of you. There’s warm hands, still damp from cleaning you up, rubbing up the sides of your torso before wrapping around the tops of your shoulders. His hips rub along your backside and you just feel so warm, so safe like this. “We gotta get you to bed.”

You just sigh and scrub your hands over your face. A beat of silence passes while you collect your thoughts. “Carm, I don’t think I can stand up.” Your legs are still slightly shaking and your mind has yet to catch up with your body. 

Laughter’s coming from behind you as he delivers a playful swat to your ass. “C’mon I’ll get you there.” This feels so simple. You find yourself questioning why the two of you even broke up to begin with when the good moments were this good. Easy, content, safe. Would you ever be able to find this again? Would he? 

He’s grabbing ahold of your waist while pulling you back into his chest. Your head falls back against his shoulder and Carmen allows his lips to once again find your exposed neck. A series of gentle kisses being placed as his arms snake tighter around your body. “Still feeling okay?” You let out a content hum and allow yourself to be held by him. “Feel better than I have all week. Thank you, Carm.” You feel him smile against your skin as he places another delicate kiss. “Always.”

The two of you stay intertwined until Carmen starts to encourage the shuffle towards your bedroom. He makes sure you get cleaned up and ready for bed. Brings you one of your sleep shirts while you brush your teeth and tries to not overthink when you offer him a toothbrush of his own because you just so happened to have an extra. Gives you privacy when you complain about needing to pee and you find it odd there’s a tug at your chest when he ducked out of the room. Part of you hated being that couple who left the door open or used the restroom while the other showered, yadda yadda. It was a sign of comfort and the door being pulled shut behind Carmen was a sign that comfort was long gone. 

Not that you cared. Totally didn’t care at all. 

He’s going to just tuck you in at first until you’re clutching at his frame and pulling him into bed next to you. Carmen never could say no when it came to you, especially when he feels his back sinking into your soft bed and your warm body curling up along his side. He should go. Get home before it’s too late and try to get some sleep. He’s already planning on getting to work early to avoid having too much free time to think about tonight in detail. 

But his clothes feel so far away and the long day is starting to finally hit him. You can practically hear him thinking over his options and your breathing starts skipping as you feel him begin to pull away. 

“Carmen.” Your grip on his chest tightens and it pulls directly at his heart. Since this whole… Situation started he never stayed the night when your meetings would run this late. Always picking his clothes up out of piles on the floor and mumbling something about needing to get home to get stuff together from work. You never asked him to stay anyway. Neither of you knew if that would make an already weird and complicated situation even worse. 

But tonight was different. 

There were hints of a storm in the distance you start telling yourself. If you focused you could hear thunder, somewhere, out there and you just wanted Carmen safe for his sake. That’s all. So you pathetically cling to him and hope you don’t kick yourself out of embarrassment in the morning. It takes just a moment of him looking down at you to understand what you can’t say and he’s giving you a little nod in response. His arms wrap around your shoulders, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of your head. Kissing every inch of you had to be one of his greatest pleasures in life.

“Remind me to season that skillet in the morning.” 

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Carmen, shockingly, sleeps through the night. The warmth of your body next to him coupled with your excellent sleeping experience. A comfortable bed with good pillows, a white noise machine in the corner of your room (the ice maker in the fridge at Carmy’s would constantly go off so you got used to sleeping with background noise to cover it up), it was the best night of rest he’s had in months.

Your sheets smell like home. 

He’s slowly waking up now and his first thought is how much he misses the weight of your breast in his hand. Second thought is how much he needs to pee but damn your bed is comfortable. 

Carmen allows his body to wake up slowly. Stretching his arms out above his head and letting out a satisfied grunt at the feeling of his well rested muscles. Blinking his eyes awake just enough to take in the sight of all the trinkets and items that covered your space. There’s some things he notices that he knows for a fact he purchased you. Bottles of perfume, books you keep telling yourself you need to read, cups you constantly forget to bring back into the kitchen until you’re fully out of them.

Did you keep any of the pictures? Photo strips from Navy Pier and the holiday market at Wrigley Field. Everything from the disposable camera you brought along on road trips and vacations. The polaroids that once littered a cork board in your living room that the two of you added pictures to so often. If he looked around enough would he find them tucked away safely in a box or did you pitch them when you knew the two of you were through. 

Carmen still has one. You took most of them while you packed up your things from his place and refused to let him carry any of the boxes downstairs. So stubborn, so full of hurt pride. He just spent most of the day trying to stand out of your way but always available in case you finally admitted that you needed help. Maybe a small part of him hoped that as you packed up so many memories it would trigger a ‘What are we doing?’ reaction and you’d go running into his arms. 

You never did. 

But you did take one trip down to your car with an overstuffed Ikea bag over your shoulder and balancing a box on your hip. Carmen knew he didn’t have long, and it kind of felt like stealing, but he rushed over to the box you just started packing up and rifles through the photos as fast as he possibly could. It took a moment of digging before there it was. A polaroid photo someone took of the two of you on New Year’s Eve. You’re wearing some cheesy headband and he has those tacky sunglasses on that show off the incoming year on them. His arms are wrapped low around your waist as he stands behind you, one of your hands resting on top of his while the other is reaching up and back to cup his jaw. You’re both grinning and laughing in the photos and nothing bad has happened yet. 

He hears you shuffling back up the stairs so he’s quickly throwing the box back together after sliding the photo into his pocket and rushing back to stand in the kitchen. Acting like nothing was happening. You didn’t even look over at him so it wasn’t like he had to put up much of a show anway.

It’s still safely tucked into his wallet. 

The sound of the front door opening and hushed whispers are finally pulling him from his half asleep, reflective state. It looks like this day is getting started if he wants it to or not. He’s tilting his head to press it into the pillow underneath him, allowing one last deep inhale to remind himself exactly what your scent smells like before forcing his body to be pushed out of your bed.

Carmen turns the corner in just his boxer briefs and you’re not convinced you aren’t still dreaming because fuck he looks good. His hair’s a mess from the combination of you playing with it all night and him sleeping so well. One of his hands is scratching low on his hips while he takes in the sight of you in the kitchen. 

Maybe he shouldn’t be so comfortable walking around your apartment half dressed still but God is this relationship situation getting messier since the day since the two of you reconnected.

“Ordered some breakfast from Yolk. Figured you were hungry and I’m sure you have to run off this morning but I uh-…. I just wanted to make sure you were fed.” You nod to yourself. Giving him an out as you start popping open food boxes. There was just over an hour until you had to get to work too so there were multiple excuses possible for this morning to end as early as it needed to. 

In an odd, roundabout, time to head back to therapy kind of way it almost feels like you’re dating your ex. 

“Yeah.” He nods to himself and desperately wishes he had deodorant, cologne, fuck even Axe body spray. Something to make himself smell better or feel more presentable for you. “Richie actually tried installing fuckin’ bidets to the toilets last night. Kept on running his mouth about how prestigious they are and he, obviously, doesn’t know how to install bidets. So the bathrooms are a little-“ He waves his hands through the air.

“Shitty?” 

Second questionable pun you’ve made lately. Pull it together. 

There’s a breathy little laugh coming out, “Yeah, shitty.” Carmen’s peeking over your shoulder as you plate up breakfast, sneaking a piece of bacon from under your arm before pressing a kiss to the top of your ear. “Thank you for ordering this.” 

You nod and try to pretend you didn’t stop breathing having him so close to you under the soft morning light. 

He leaves $60 tucked under a vase on your dining table to cover breakfast. 

————

11:52 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Richie put his foot down and we’re stuck getting the bidets 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: If you’re wondering how my day is going 

12:17 pm

Shockingly my day is much less toilet related. I hope it’s going well. 

4:39 pm 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: I know so much about bathrooms now

————

You laugh a little too loud as the alert illuminates your phone. There’s a fond tugging at your heart as the ‘normal’ conversations fills your chat history instead of the short “My place tn” or “I still can’t find my jacket. You have to have it”. Maybe saving him as do not answer seemed too harsh but having his contact show up as a photo of you two cuddled up with the Chicago skyline in the background, an innocent and horrifically cheesy “Baby Boy 💙” contact name modeled after Richie saying you baby him too much one night. Every time it flashed across your screen and Richie saw he gave you guys an endless amount of shit. It became a constant bit that none of you got tired of at the time. 

You were trying to separate yourself from your past with him as much as possible at first but now those lines just keep getting more and more blurred. 

One of your coworkers grabs your attention away from your phone thus leaving Carmen’s message on read. He tries to pretend it doesn’t bother him as he gets to work prepping for tonight’s service. Who wants to talk about bathrooms with their… Fuck buddy? Ex? God that’s still so weird to say. 

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Your mind was haunted by thoughts of Carmen Berzatto all day. 

No matter how many busy tasks you assigned yourself he always seemed to creep back in. You’d look around for him when a joke landed well at work and the group you were with erupted into laughter. Could easily picture his head thrown back as he scrubs over his face in an attempt to muffle the sound. When you were standing alone your mind wandered off to the way he treated you last night. So claiming. Expertly working your body the way only he could after so much time of getting to know it. 

The bed feels so much 

You throw the blanket away from your frame and watch as it bundles up beside you. Is this crazy? It feels crazy. You shake out the nerves, fluffing up your shorts and primping yourself for the photo. It takes one, two, seven pictures to get just the right angle. An image of your thighs against the bedding and your oversized sleep shorts bunched up all the way down your legs. Taking a deep breath you steel your spine and pull up Carmen’s contact.

————

11:28 pm 

Headed to bed 

ONE IMAGE ATTACHED

11:29 pm 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Fuck.

11:31 pm

Goodnight Carmen <3

2:12 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Can’t stop thinking about you 

ONE VIDEO ATTACHED

————

The sun is warm against your skin as it slowly wakes you up. There’s an air purifier rattling in the corner that acts half as white noise while you sleep, half to soak up the smells of Chicago. Sometimes when Carmen’s especially exhausted you have to bring out the big boy and ask your Google home to play sleep sounds to mask him snoring all night. You typically didn’t mind the sound, knowing it’s a sign of just how badly he needed a good night’s rest. 

You’re fishing your phone out of the comforter in a haste to click off the horrific sound of the alarm and your eyes are barely open when you see the alert. A preview image popping up and you can just barely a blurry image of - “Holy fuck!” 

Your free hand flies up to clamp over your mouth as a mix of gasps and ‘no fucking way’ come out of you with zero control. With shaking hands you open up the video, half tempted to pinch yourself with a video of Carmen fills your screen. His hand rubbing over the bulge in his boxers and there’s a mess of shaky breathing coming from behind the phone. You can’t get the volume turned all the way up fast enough and you’re terrified to miss a single sound. 

And there he is. 

Fishing his cock out of his boxers and stroking himself for you. Illuminated by the lamp on his bedside table and his hand over lubricated to mimic how wet you get for him. He’s a mess of filthy moans, bucking hips, are you dreaming? 

The combination of the sun beating in and the way this video is making your body go hot is too much. You’re overheating, kicking the blankets away from you while your hand goes into your shorts on instinct. Toying with your clit even though you don’t have much time to spare as you watch Carmen get off for you.

————

8:04 am

HEART REACTED TO A VIDEO

Mine tonight?

Fuck you sound so good

Wish I would have been there to clean you up

Say my name more next time please

How am I supposed to go to work now 

————

No response. You aren’t surprised, he’s typically busy in the morning. 

So you go along your day and let yourself enjoy the thought of Carmen coming back over tonight to take care of you. You had thought letting him back in was a risky move but things seemed fine so far. Settling into the new version of what normal was going to look like. Maybe things would end up being some version of alright after all. 

A chirp from your phone catches your attention and you’re instantly uninvested in whatever task was at hand. It might be a little pathetic how excited you were but that is besides the point. 

————

10:32 am 

[CARMEN]: Busy tonight

————

Busy tonight? Go fuck yourself Carmen! 

You waited all morning and THAT’S the response you get? Were the multiple texts too much? Did you come off too clingy? Sure he just stayed the night, was two times in one week where he drew the line? 

So you leave him on read and take away the heart from his video. Change his name back to DO NOT ANSWER and instantly feel the urge to get off tonight leaving your body. Replaced by a subtle anger that only he can bring out of you. 

The workday seems to go by so much quicker as you have this internal argument with yourself and mentally pick a battle with Carmen. Maybe you were silly to think things would… What? Go back to the way they were? No, of course not. 

Ugh!

Carmen who, by the way, truly was slammed. Got stuck hosting an event for an old family friend that he barely knew but was convinced it’d be good for business. He’s overwhelmed by work and anxious with his relationship with you. The breakup was horrific. One of the worst things he’s had to experience so far which certainly says a lot. At the very least - It made sense. This though? Sleeping together, fucking when you have shitty dates and he’s your second choice for the night, taking pictures of dumb things he sees during the day because it made him think of you but never actually sending them, it made zero sense.

If only there was something the two of you could do to figure this whole mess out. 

But alas.

You bring home a salad that’s far healthier than anything you’ve eaten all week accompanied by some fresh pressed green juice nonsense you lie to yourself and mentally say is delicious. The boy detox starts now. 

The shower you take that night must last an hour. Every inch of your body gets scrubbed, your face and hair both get a mixture of treatments and masks. You primp and polish yourself up and convince yourself that this is all for you and not so you look better than ever and Carmen will have to regret his stupid and shitty ‘Busy tonight’ text because you were also just like so, so busy and -

Fuck Carmen Berzatto. 

You decide you could go the rest of your life without hearing from him and be just fine. It was his loss. You’re funny, beautiful, and excellent in the bedroom. There’s thousands of people out there dreaming about finding someone like you!

This internal argument keeps going. And you know what’s annoying? The second you fling yourself into bed you realize he left his scent all over your sheets still. It hasn’t gone away - Cologne mixed with Carmen. And you 100% aren’t hunting out the scent nor are you hunting out a reason to stay annoyed with him. Not at all. So you get back out of bed and grab the fabric freshener to spray your sheets back down with, giving it a minute to dry before falling face first into the mattress with an annoyed huff. 

So yeah, fuck him. You hope you never hear from him again and toss your phone on the other side of the bed. Forcing your eyes shut and making your mind go blank because otherwise you’ll stew all night thus continuing this Carmen induced spiral. 

————

1:47 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Hey

————

Fuck.

[mbbmz]

Hello love! I just looove those alphabet headcanons you wrote! Like I truly do! And idk if you accept requests but, I'd like it if you'd do one for Ran Haitani.. like I love that mf do much, I wouldn't mind it if I'd read these types of headcanons about him.. either way, I love your work and thnx in advance!

Take good care of yourself, and most importantly have a wonderful day/night! 🩷🩷🩷

AHHH HI LOVE thx for requesting (you’re so nice help-)

Im glad you like what im writing and ofc im gonna give our braid boy some hcs (even if he sadly doesn’t have braids anymore 😔)

Anyways here it comes and hope you’ll like it!! (Also timeskip! Ran)

Btw I feel like I have a different vision of the character than what most people imagine, so sorry if it’s not what you expected

I will not take anymore full NSFW alphabet request because it’s just too long, but I will accept a maximum of 5 letters of your choice :)

NSFW under the cut

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s surprisingly clingy after sex, he would probably bury his face in your neck and just hold your for a few moments. He’s quite lazy but if you’re really drained he’ll go get some things you may need like a glass of water or something to clean yourself with.

Body part : (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think he’s another one who loves his hands because MF have you seen those long ass fingers? Bet he can do some marvelous things with it.

Boobs. Thats all. Any shape or size he’s eating that up (literally) bc he worships your boobs so much, especially if you’re insecure about them he’ll just keep talking about your pretty tits.

Cum (anything to do with cum)

Boobs (still) but I can also see him like to cum down your throat to see you choke a bit on it (he’s a little shit, will watch you struggle with that shit eating grin)

Dirty secret

Sometimes during sex you may be confronted to him tickling you. He’ll downplay it as an accident or a playful banter. But in reality, he does it because everytime, it makes you clench even more around his cock.

Experience (How experienced are they?)

I don’t think Ran is really into serious relationships (especially Bonten Ran since he’s always busy). However, he had a few casual relationships and regular hook ups.

Favorite position

- Cow girl : He’s lazy, so sometimes when he’s tired from work (which is often), he’ll pull you onto his lap, pressing his growing bulge against your crotch. Loves when you’re riding him because he has a full view of your boobs, he likes to feel them bouncing on his face

- Thigh riding : Idk if it really counts as a position, but something about seeing you grinding on his thigh, desperate for release turns him on immensely. He’d lay back and just watch you struggling from his lack of help. The most he’d do to help you is a slight bouncing of his thigh, still keeping it minimal.

Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or humorous?)

He’ll most likely not be serious during intimacy. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal and he just loves teasing you, in and out of the bedroom.

Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

As someone who (canonically I think) likes to take care of his looks, trimming is very important to him. He either trims regularly or completely shave.

Unfortunately he doesn’t have lilac pubes.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

I see Ran as a very romantic person (despite his relentless teasing)

I think he’d always take the time to initiate things by holding you and peppering your skin with kisses. I just think that foreplay is important to him.

Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t do it often. I don’t see him as someone particularly needy on this side, even so now that he has you. He only does it when he has to blow off some steam and you’re not here.

Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- Dry humping : As I said earlier, he can be lazy. So sometimes he won’t even take the time to undress and will just grind against you. It often ends up in you two cuddling in bed while he rubs his clothed crotch against yours, holding you tightly.

- Cockwarming : He loves the warm feeling of your walls around him, sometimes not even in a sexual way. When he had a bad day for exemple he’ll sometimes ask to just be buried inside of you, tiredly kissing your neck.

Location (Favorite places to do it)

I think he’s someone who mostly keep this in his apartment. Any corner is fine as long as no one sees. Sometimes he’ll even initiate things in his office, occurs when he’s needy but can’t get out of work, so he’ll just ask you if you can come visit him.

Motivation (what gets them started and going)

Loves seeing you confident. Something about your playful smile when you initiate things and climb on his lap will give him an immediate boner that only you can satisfy.

Lives for the sight of your boobs bouncing on his face. He actually doesn’t really like positions where he can’t see them properly. Will squish them together and suck on them pretty tits <3

NO (something they wouldn’t do/turn offs)

Threesomes and voyeurism are a major turn off. He doesn’t like sharing you one bit, not matter with who (sorry to those Haitani threesome enjoyers, I just don’t see it)

The sight of your naked body is something that only him should be allowed to enjoy.

Oral (Giving/receiving preferences, skills..)

Even though he likes the feeling of your warm pussy better, he’ll never say no to a blow job. Might even ask you to cockwarm him with your mouth under his desk while he works.

He might not eat you out often but when he does, it’s damn good. He’s still a little shit so he won’t let you cum from that, he will edge you until you beg for his cock to finish the work, which he gladly does.

Pace (are they more fast and rough or slow and sensual)

SLOW. AND. SENSUAL. Listen he might be a lil shit but boy he thinks there’s nothing better than a slow pace to fully enjoy you, sometimes so slow that you have to beg him to go faster (might have a slight begging kink also)

Quickie (Do they enjoy it quick?)

He does not enjoy them particularly. He’s big on foreplay and likes to go slow, so quickies are reserved for needy emergencies. When it happens he’ll promise you to fuck you well later, when you’re all alone :)

Risk (are they up to experiment, do they take risks etc…)

I don’t think he’d like too much to get out of his comfort zone but if there’s something you really want to try he’ll indulge you. Who knows, maybe he’ll discover things about himself.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go)

Despite being lazy, I think he has a pretty good stamina. He can probably go up to 2/3 rounds depends of the position, maybe more in dry humping.

Toy (Do they own toys? Using them on a partner or themselves?)

I actually think he would. I feel like he would be big on nipple clamps (this man loves playing with your tits)

Probably the type of guy to gift you a dildo in the shape of his dick for when he’s not there.

Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

Do I really have to say it? Of course he’s a fucking tease. He will edge you for so long then overstimulate you until you can’t take it. He can be a bit of a meanie sometimes but it will remain playful.

Volume (How loud are they?)

Wouldn’t bother to hide his moans, low moans and whispered curses probably. His moans are so damn attractive I swear, straight out of a porn movie, especially when you ride him.

Wild card (random headcanon)

After a long day of work he asked you to cockwarm him. You sat on his lap as he buried his face in your neck. I took you ten minutes to realize he fell asleep while being inside of you.

X ray (Let’s see what going on under those clothes…)

I think he would rather be on the thin side, but long. Like 7,5/8 inches long. Probably with a slight curves and a brownish-pink tip.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I don’t think he has a high libido to be honest. But when you’re needy and he’s not he’ll just have you ride his thigh. Hell, it might even convince him to just fuck you.

ZZZ (How fast do they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a sleepy baby. Not but really, after getting you what you needed, he’ll fall asleep instantly. Even though he has a high stamina it still takes him a lot of energy.

[thebearer]

hi e! back again with more carmy shit because i love the way you did my little blurb justice 🥰. i literally just envisioned sydney minding her own business and just recklessly placing carmy in the hot seat cause she knew his ass was gon get it 😂. i’m all in for more dom!carmy so i’d love to keep the idea going that his s/o works for/with/alongside him at the bear with a touch of her giving him her two cents? a little bit of sass to just remind who he’s dealing with 😩. maybe this time around he slipped up on something major (a birthday, anniversary, or something that overall was important to the reader and he put it off because in his mind the bear comes first). she’s been slowly driving him crazy with that silent treatment she’s been doing for the last few days and her less than a few syllabled words when he doesn’t remind her how irked he made her 😂; she’s not mad anymore just disappointed. and anyway basically in a prep for preordered to go’s on lunch rush he’s reading back orders to her and she completely writes him off. i can see him being like exactly how he when he’s not getting when he needs from his staff during a frenzy and flipping tf out. like you know when he repeats himself a second time as if you didn’t hear him the first he means it 😂. tysm in advance! please feel free to do whatever you’d like. i’m writing this at 6 in the morning so many ideas are coming into the fold. i hope you have a great day - 🥣.

ok i did sorta a different-ish take. same idea but i don't write the reader as a chef bc quite honestly i can't relate lmao i'm a horrendous cook lol. but silent treatment yes!! reader works at the bear but not a chef.

"Does anyone know where the extra napkins are? Mindy needs to be settin' tables." Carmen huffed, slamming the empty crate back in the back stock.

"That would be your missus' domain." Richie snickers, elbowing Fak lightly. "Guess you better go ask her, Cousin."

"Yeah? Fuck off. Thought it was your fuckin' job." Carmen grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Me? Fuck no, Cousin. You know who's job it is, c'mon." Richie grinned. "It's your wife, Carm. What? Scared to talk to your wife?"

Carmen sneered, huffing in annoyance, but the truth was... yes, he was a little scared. Especially with how furious you were at him. Carmen was a chronic over worker, barely taking time for himself. It was a constant fight between the two of you, one he'd gotten better at, but still struggled finding that balance. Which normally, you'd be more forgiving about.

Except it was your anniversary.

Carmen left you waiting at home, dressed up with a new lingerie set that he painfully didn't get to enjoy. By the time he got off, taking his time to clean the kitchen, prep for tomorrow's crowd, he looked at his phone and saw your texts and calls, his heart dropping.

You'd been giving him the cold shoulder since then, furious and hurt- or so he assumed, you wouldn't say anything.

Richie found the entire thing hilarious when Carmen told him. "You forgot your fuckin' anniversary? You jagoff, holy shit."

Carmen found it less than amusing. The tension in the restaurant was thick because of the two of you. Everyone teetering around you, but especially Carmen, he was more on edge now.

Pushing the door open to the office, Carmen ducked his head in, seeing you at his desk- your desk, technically, you used it more. "Hey, honey," Carmen's voice was soft, a sweet hum that had your spine straightening. He flinched lightly, stepping towards you. "D'you know where the extra napkins are?"

You didn't reply, simply typing on your laptop, editing a video for the social media page about the upcoming summer specials.

Carmen blinked, barking out your name in a much harsher than he meant to, but it seemed to work. Kinda. Your head whipped around, eyes in a burning glare when they met his, but your lips were still pressed together.

Carmen through his hands out in exasperation. "Are you bein' fuckin' serious with me?"

Richie made his way towards the table where Tina was doing prep, craning his neck to watch. Your lips twisted, glaring harshly at Carmen. Carmen huffed, a hand running over his forehead. "What do you want from me, huh? What? You're just never gonna speak to me again? I forgot, ok? I didn't mean to, I just fuckin' forgot! I was at work!"

You glared at him, feeling Richie's amused gaze from over Carmen's shoulder, the rest of the staff pretending to be busy to hear. "Shut the door." You snapped.

Carmen flinched, shocked. "What-"

"Shut the fuckin' door, now." You snapped, slamming your laptop, turning to face him. Carmen pressed the door shut, ignoring Richie's whines of "c'mon, Cousin, it was just gettin' good!".

The two of you stared, neither being the first to talk, not wanting to break. You huffed, rolling your eyes in annoyance. "You wanted to talk, talk, Carmen. I've got shit to do."

"Hey," Carmen's eyes flashed at you, his tone hard with an edge of warning. "You better watch your-"

"-No, you better watch your mouth with me. Watch what you say to me, Berzatto." You snapped, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't a fuckin' game, alright? I'm mad at you. Actually fuckin' mad at you."

Carmen's stomach turned, swallowing the guilt rising with the bile in his throat. "I... I'm sorry-"

"-Sorry isn't going to work this time, Carmen. It's always sorry. Always I didn't fuckin' mean to, I got busy." You snapped, arms wrapping over your torso. "You always do this, but our anniversary? You forgot our anniversary?"

"No, I didn't forget." Carmen ran a hand down his face. "I got you flowers and-and the bracelet-"

"-And that was very nice, Carmen, but you weren't there." You snapped, the finality in his tone making his rebuttal dissolve in his mouth. The hurt in your eyes, rounding and pitiful, soft and pleading with him. You were angry, but you were hurt, too.

His shoulders deflated, breath leaving his lungs. "You're right," Carmen nodded slowly. "No, you're-you're right, and-and-and I'm... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby." Carmen said sincerely, eyes shining with sincerity. "I... I got caught up and I-I shouldn't have even been working that day, I just..."

"I know." You muttered, looking down at the desk, a framed picture of the two of you in Copenhagen at your wedding ceremony. Carmen in his suit, you in your dress, happy and smiling with the breathtaking scenery behind you.

Carmen could feel the guilt growing in his chest, palms sweating and heart racing, the panic to fix it- to do something. "How much longer do you have?" Carmen asked, nodding towards your laptop.

"Just a few more things to edit." You looked at your paused work. "Why?"

"Let me... Let me make it right." Carmen sighed, shaking hands fumbling towards his apron.

"Carmen, you can't leave-"

"-Yeah, yeah, I can." Carmen nodded, pulling the door out and calling for Sydney. "Can you cover tonight, Chef?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I can." Sydney nodded.

"I got it too, Cousin-" Carmen shut the door before he could hear Richie's full comment, sure something smart ass would be included.

"Let's go out." Carmen looked at you. "A make up. Please?"

You folded your arms, pouting lightly. "'m not dressed for going out."

"What're you talkin' about? You look beautiful, c'mon." Carmen shook his head lightly at you, shoving his clothes into his bag, pulling out his spare.

You tried not to drool at the sight of his chest. You'd missed him, you really had. It was a shame the lingerie went to waste.

Carmen pulled you out of the restaurant, hand on your waist, holding you close to his side. It wasn't the fancy reservations you'd planned, no Michelin star restaurants with expensive wine. No, instead, he took you to some a rooftop restaurant, one with the vibey aesthetic you always cooed at on Instagram. Sitting and sharing pretzels and greasy food, snuggled into Carmen's side while he ordered dessert. Giggling when he fed you the brownie sundae, tilting your head back with his fingers cradling your jaw lightly. It was simple, romantic, and fun. Made your heart swell, clinging to him the whole way home.

And when you got home? Carmen was in heaven. Letting you show him what he missed a few days earlier.

[kalethemonster]

my american trans siblings, you will be under a fascist government once january rolls around. that fact is fucking terrifying. even for me as an aussie. (though your politics heavily affect us also bc all social media algorithms treat anyone posting in english as american)

take your time to mourn your freedom. you're losing sooo fucking much and it breaks my heart. the next two months you have left should be used for networking with irl trans people and preparing yourself mentally. let yourself morn but for fucks sake stay alive.

every day you exist is an act of resistance against those who wish you never existed in the first place.

so, how can you keep yourself existing?

irl? go back to 80's queer social policy. dont ask, dont tell. but definately use ways of signing to other queer people that you are one. with irl community, do your best to keep eachother afloat and help where you can. if you grow food, share it out. if you have a vacant room, add someone who needs a place to your household (ground rules and house rules important obvi). if you gotta go back in the closet do so, if you're already transitioning medically do your best to stock up on hrt during the next two months. your irl community is the best resource you have, so networking to find them while you an still do so freely in the next two months is critical.

social media is a tad more complicated so i'll break it down by site/company.

twitter: archive any important past posts you have made via screenshots and then just fucking nuke your account, delete all posts you have made individually to make sure and the delete the acc. elongated muskrat is the annoying orange's biggest financial supporter. he will turn over any and all info he government may request about trans and queer users. if you ever needed any more reasons to dump twitter thab the ones you have already had, take this one.

meta: in terms of facebook, if you still need it for family, archive posts abt being trans via screenshots, and delete said posts. if they were posted by supportive familiy members then get them to delete what they have posted of your identity for safety reasons, then only use for family you can only reach through it. for instagram and threads private any accounts you have that has your personal information attached other than ones for personal businesses. if you need public account access for reaching out,, make an account with only your first name listed, fill it with aesthetic shit or meme posts so it isn't easily linked to you as a person.

as far as i know with bluesky, more or less post as usual but stilll protect your personal information. first name and pronouns only. do not include location markers.

redit, hold all personal info verry close to your heat, give nothing away, have like 50 burners, you dont need karma.

youtube, if you only use it for viewing, use as normal. if you upload, do your best to not show ANY recognisable outdoor landmarks, keep personal info tight, and donot get into anything political. if you can take a hiatus that would be even better.

tumblr: post as normal minus locational and government info.

common thread here is do not reveal any personal shit at all and do your best to conceal what is already posted. back to 90s rules for most sites. unfortunately tech-literate bigots finding your info is a possibility and so you want to withhold as much as you can to avoid being located and identified.

general ruled (both irl and online):

you are dealing with fascists. anything out of line they will actively try to snuff out. if anyone st all tries to get you to talk about ANYTHING REMOTE POLITICAL in any form of public space, SHUT THE FUCK UP. completely shut it down with "i dont talk about politics" or "i dont like politics". yes it's the pussy's answer to get out of shit, but being a pussy in the presence of violent fascists keeps you alive. if they try to talk about palastine, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about trans people, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about abortion, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about disability/meantal health. from new years onwards, you will treat any person in the US who tried to talk about any of that shit in public that isn't doing it for the sake of protest as a narc. you will only properly discuss it behind closed doors with trusted family, comunity and allies.

as of new years day, it is the job of all allies in the us to basically be human shields for not only queer communities, but disabled, migrant, and any form of non-white communities too. if you are cis, white, able bodied, and have been an american citizen from birth, and happen to be a decent person, you are the ones who gotta protect those who cant protect themselves or cant leave the country. yes even if you're queer. if you are a white cis queer person, you can hide your sexuality for 4 years. most trans and intersex people cannot hide their gender or traits.

to recap: for the next two months, mourn your freedom, connect with your local queer comunity. do not share any personal info anywhere online unless you have a buisness, and then keep said info to the bare minimum. if people try to talk to you in public, shut the fuck up. allies and white cis lgb must protect those who cant run or hide.

the next four years are gonna be hell. but just know that of it seems no one has your back, this trans man all the way in australia has your back. love from me, my cousin, and my wonderfully supportive mother. stay sane, aqy safe, stay together.

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃EXO as roommates❃

a/n: I know most people are here for the svt posts but it’s been a while since I have done an exo one. I literally just pre-ordered D.O.’s albums; I am already delusional as is without getting new do kyungsoo content :��)

Anyway, bc of having lived in a studio apartment complex, I well aware that nothing breaks or makes living in student housing more than roommates. CURSE YOU BONGO DUDE I AM STILL NOT OVER YOU WAKING ME UP AT MIDNIGHT WITH YOUR LACK OF RHYTHM.

Xiumin/Minseok: 7/10

✾ He would nag the entire time that the house is not clean enough and that you left your shit lying around. Whoever said that student housing tends to be messy has not met Xiumin.

✾ He has been cleaning ever since he moved in and will not stop until he has moved out. Xiumin will scold you when you try to help him out as you are ‘not cleaning right’, whatever that means. Fortunately, that means he will rarely ask you to help him with the chores so you still get to enjoy a clean house without having to put the effort in.

✾ Honestly, his healthy lifestyle choices kind of motivate you to do better. He will definitely take you with him to the gym when you let it drop that you might be interested in getting in shape. Free gym coach, basically.

✾ He organizes roommate days weekly where the two of you spend planned time together because he believes that roommates should become/be friends.

Suho/Junmyeon: 9/10

✾ He will adopt you as one of his children. The moment you step foot in your shared housing, he has accepted that he has yet another child to take care of and no, you can’t convince him otherwise.

✾ He takes care of you and makes you feel right at home; he is the definition of the mom friend. Are you having trouble making new friends? He will introduce you to his. Have you been too busy studying and forgotten to eat? He will drop by the grocery store.

✾ The only downside to roommate Suho is that he can be overbearing and slightly judgy. You will hear “I am not mad, just disappointed” a lot when you, for instance, decide to go to out with your friends during finals. Apparently, that is irresponsible.

✾ Did you really move out of your parent’s home, or did you just replace your parents with Suho?

Baekhyun: -10000/10

✾ He drives you absolutely insane and makes you regret moving in with him. Nobody is safe from his teasing and antics and you are stuck with it until the lease is up.

✾ He convinces you to divide the chores through games that he somehow always ends up winning. He has not done any chores since he moved in and he somehow keeps convincing you that this is the fairest way to determine who has to do the dishes.

✾ Boundaries, what boundaries? Locked doors will not keep him out. He will definitely throw himself on your bed telling you all about the drama of people you do not know when you are trying to study for an important test in the quiet solitude of your room. If you’re home, he will not leave you alone.

✾ Always spontaneously invites people over and forgets to text you about it. At this point, all his friends have seen you in your comfy but definitely not fashionable clothes.

Chen/Jongdae: -1000000000000/10

✾ He. Is. So. Loud.

✾ The walls are way too thin to live with him. You can always hear him before you even see him. The type to wake you up in the middle of the night or early in the morning because he has no awareness of how loud he truly is.

✾ It wouldn’t even be such a problem, but bro never shuts up either. If he is not talking, he is constantly singing or humming. Chen truly doesn't have an off button.

✾ Add to the loudness problem that Chen is a morning person. He is so chirpy in the morning, singing a song on top of his lungs whilst he eats his breakfast. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he is the type to try and have full on conversations with you minutes after you’ve woken up, getting offended when your replies are curt.

✾ You had to ban game nights because he gets too competitive, whining so incredibly loudly every time he loses. One time the neighbours filed a noise complaint and he still maintains he wasn’t that loud.

Chanyeol: 8/10

✾ A really fun person to live with if you like a very present roommate. He will constantly ask you to hang out and play games or watch movies because he can’t be alone for five minutes. However, compared to Baekyhun, his energy is a lot more chill.

✾ He will spend a lot of money on random geeky stuff, filling up the entire shared apartment with figurines, posters and that one Halloween costume that definitely was way too expensive. I can see him being the type to have a hallway full of boxes of stuff he ordered online. He has no idea of what actually is in them because he ordered it impulsively so long ago.

✾ Despite you living in student housing, he will make sure the interior looks stunning. He cares way too much about everything matching and will not allow you to place anything in the house without discussing it with him first. You can’t really be mad at it because your place looks like an Ikea showroom.  

✾ Docking points because he will be either playing music or games at night. Trust me, nothing is worse than having someone practice their instrument when you are trying to sleep (Curse you bongo dude). All you can hear is him practising the same guitar riffs over and over again.

D.O./Kyungsoo: 6.5/10

✾ Listen, his cooking is amazing, it would make being his roommate worthwhile. He will always make enough food for the both of you, and if you do not dine together, he will leave his leftovers for you in the fridge to try. He genuinely enjoys cooking for others and is happy to try out new recipes on you.

✾ That being said, living with him is more like calmly co-existing in the same space. He will only talk to you when absolutely necessary and it takes him a long while to really open up to you (if he does at all).

✾ He respects your personal space and wants you to respect his, meaning he won’t go out of his way to spend time together. Being roommates does not automatically mean that you have to be/are friends in his book. If you click, that’s neat, but don’t expect him to invite you over for game nights for the first few months.

✾ He is definitely the passive-aggressive roommate that sends you a text over the smallest of things. Why confront you face-to-face when can send you a 2 AM text telling you to pick up that one sock that fell out of your laundry basket?

Kai/Jongin: 6/10

✾ He is an absolute sweetie, do not get me wrong. With his friendly and bubbly personality, he will try his hardest to become friends with his roommates. He will take every initiative to organize roommate events such as game nights, clubbing, etc.

✾ That being said, do not leave him alone in the kitchen, he will definitely accidentally set it on fire and you will be the one that has to clean up because do we really trust him after that? We have all seen his attempts at cooking, it never fails to be a disaster, so guess who is in charge of cooking from then on.

✾ Who needs matching cups and plates? Not you because he has shattered at least one of each set. Do not get too attached to your worldly possessions because Kai will knock them over or drop them on accident.

✾ He genuinely wants to help out with chores but he is so clumsy you still end up doing most of them. You can’t even be mad at him because, well, it is Kai.

Sehun: 2/10

✾ Is he even your roommate? You have no idea, he rarely helps out with anything. He has been so spoiled that he refuses to lift a finger and at this point, you feel brainwashed because he is getting away with it.

✾ If you are younger than him, he will be paying for everything you guys need, so that is a win. If not, be prepared for your bank account to take a massive hit because “the oldest should pay.”

✾ You guys get a lot of free stuff as Sehun knows to subtly let it drop to his friends, mostly Suho, that you guys direly need something. All of his friends basically function as sugar daddies, and neither of you is complaining about the free toilet paper.

✾ The type of roommate that judges your outfits and comments “Are you really going to wear that?” and leaves you on read when you text him about rent. He can be nice but tends to choose violence every time he wakes up. I hope that you’ve got thick skin.

✾ Despite his snarky comments, you know that he genuinely appreciates and cares for you based on how clingy he is. Good luck going clubbing without him. Your phone will keep buzzing with texts asking you when you will be home because he is too scared to sleep without another person present in the house.

masterlist

[chirpsythismorning]

Was this really necessary?

A lot of fans complained about s4 being too overpacked with unnecessary filler. But I would argue that almost everything was important (yes even the Russia scenes, but that’s another conversation for another day).

Especially when it comes to scenes you thought had no significance at all, it’s entirely possible, and even likely those kinds of scenes hold the most meaning beyond what is presented on the surface.

If you ever found yourself thinking certain wording came off almost hokey or out of place at times, it’s bc they were probably trying to find a creative way to hint at something deeper, completely separate from the moment in the present, and believably, so that fans can overlook it at the time temporarily, only to eventually look back in the future when all is revealed and go holy shit nvm it was right in front of us.

And in scenes that we called pointless filler…

It’s actually genius.

You get people to underestimate you, only for it to be revealed that you gave them all the answers right in front of them. Unfortunately fans were too busy complaining it was pointless to notice.

This sequence in particular comes to mind:

Mind you, this isn’t the first time cow imagery has followed Joyce around. I’ve been focusing on the owl/deer imagery lately. But during that time I was reminded of a few notable cow decor items throughout the Byers and when Joyce is in the frame… Combine that with the pregnant belly comment, combined with the brother and sister watching Joyce, combined with the scene that was directly before this of Will and El as she cries over her Hopper diorama with the song Crib playing…

And in case it went over your head…

[lovethytendytenderly]

A Creature Comforts not!fic aka Goalies That nest Together Stay Together

prompt: Prompt 12. “Alpha, I’ve seen the way you look at (other Alpha/Beta/Omega), how about we invite him to spend my Heat/your Rut with us?” but nesting bc i don't wanna deal with secondary gender shit

Tanger/Jars/Ned (Tanger/Jars+Ned, Ned/Jars)

(Established past sidflower nest buddies - maybe side sidgeno)

The fic starts about a week before Tristan's nest. Tristan spends most of it in various levels of pre-nesting. The date is *mumble* the part of the season is ? and the schedule is not important. They end up on the road at some point and then are back in Pittsburgh the next day. Don’t question it. I am going for vibes not realism. This is a notfic.

~~~~_X_~~~~

Tristan nests regularly enough nowadays, once or twice a season. He didn't nest his first couple years in the NHL but being the guaranteed starter flipped a switch in Tristan's head and he's been a happy penguin ever since. Kris is the only person Tristan has nested with. At first, Kris couldn't believe Tristan would pick him, but they've been pretty exclusively partnered (in and out of the nest) since. They don't live together during the season for reasons. PO is definitely living with Tanger. It's pretty much expected that Tristan is going to nest with Tanger. That's what Tristan and Kris have been prepping for. That's what everyone has told the newbies. It's what he's always done. This nest shouldn't be any different except its day 3 of pre-nesting and Tristan isn't able to get comfortable enough to nap unless he's face planted into Ned's neck.

Tristan has been seeking Ned out for a while now, enamored with his new backup and the tandem bond (normal friendship not metaphysical nonsense) they've been building this season. Kris has eyes. Tristan might be better at watching but Kris knows how to keep his head up and his eyes on his goalie. (they’re not poly, but theyre not not poly. Kath and the kids may be around in a separated but not divorced status, idk. they've definitely had other partners and hookups but are mostly monogamous to each other). So while Tristan was busy stealing stuff from all of their teammates and prepping his nest, Kris was watching the way he was circling Ned - like he wants to pull him close and clamp down with his teeth and never let go but is afraid of scaring him off but also like he has no idea that he's even doing it. He’s also noticed the increase in Tristan's insomnia and the scents (and the players they belong to) that ease it. It's the usual collection of him, Geno, the defense, and Jake, with Karl and Ned being notable additions this year.

Ned, on his side of things doesn't even seen to notice the strangeness in Tristan's behavior. Or maybe he just assumes it’s nesting stuff and is leaving it alone. Kris doesn't know much about Ned's nesting history on his previous teams and its not really something you ask a goalie unless you're being actively invited into their nest or there’s a problem. This is the opposite of a problem. Kris knows that Ned was surprised by the lounge space set aside for the goalies with the permanent nesting rooms in the back, one for both the starting and backup goaltender. The nice thing about having a relatively new arena is Flower made his complaints about the Igloo very well known when they asked the players for feedback during the construction of Consol, and being Flower, with Sid as his partner, he got his wish. Tristan has reaped the benefits of it, even if Flower remains a sore spot in the arena.

Kris is paying attention is what I'm saying, and it's clear Tristan is not. Its after Tristan seeks Ned out for a pregame nap (literally leaving Kris in their shared hotel room) that Kris knows he needs to intervene. They need to talk about Ned. They need to talk to Ned. Kris is not jealous. Tristan is very much still into him and has not been showing any signs of not wanting him in the nest. That's not what the conversation they have to have is about. It’s very clear to Kris that Tristan wants Ned in the nest and Kris would rather have that conversation now, and not when Tristan is so deep in nesting that he’s nonverbal and hellbent on getting his way. As hot as Kris finds getting dragged into Tristan's nest by Tristan's teeth in his wrist (sleeve usually since it's not a safe place to bite too hard), Ned deserves words so he knows what he's agreeing too.

Kris has a list of examples that make it pretty damn clear that Tristan is courting Ned, but the most damning example was practice earlier when Jars refused to get out of the net except to give it to Ned. Tristan can't see the way he’s gravitating towards Ned but Kris is like you wouldn’t let Andy have the net for practice but you immediately gave it to Ned without hesitation. Not even Flower shared like that.

Kris is like do you want to invite Ned into your nest and Tristan gets blushy and reticent but it’s definitely a yes and Kris is so fucking soft so of course he’ll give Tristan anything he wants.

The conversation is the wake up call Tristan needed to go “oh right I shouldn't do everything based on instinct I kinda need to verbally invite Ned into my nest. Shit I want to invite Ned into my nest.”

Kris is smug. Unfortunately for Kris, Tristan immediately turns his best pleading eyes on him and is like you gotta be there for this convo cause youre gonna be in the nest too.

(note idk if this is plat nesting or sexual nesting - probably both - but while I’m in the mood for intimacy I am not in the mood to write sex. There's definitely room to add sex between Tristan and Tanger if horniness is part of pre-nesting. I could see Tristan getting himself off to thoughts/scents of Ned without realizing)

Ned of course has noticed some of Jars' clinginess and made his own assumptions. (No shame to Ned, he's doing his best with limited information). The problem is when Tanger tries to pull him aside to talk to him by himself (Jars got pulled aside by a trainer), Ned is like "ah, the other shoe has dropped. I’m about to get yelled at by my defenseman for messing with my nesting goalie partner. oh no."

Ned "smartly" decides to get the hell out of dodge and spends the next day and a bit avoiding Tanger which means he’s also accidentally avoiding Jars. This makes Tristan itchy because he doesn’t realize why he can’t find Ned. (Ned deserves soft things, of which his nest has many, and also Tristan wants cuddles. How dare Ned be MIA when Tristan wants cuddles).

This lasts all of a day before Kris sends PO over as a peace offering to talk to Ned instead. Not about nesting stuff per se, but the conversation has the general vibe of "if you won’t talk to my work dad/landlord about your reciprocated crush on dad’s partner then I guess you have to talk to me because no one wants a grumpy nesting goalie and that's where Jarry is headed. I've seen the aftermath when Jars is happy, I do not want to see the marks he leaves when he's upset"

(A happy Jars is a bitey Jars. PO doesn't want to see the evidence of Jarry being upset) (Jokes on PO an upset Tristan is way less likely to actually bite his partners and instead will probably self soothe by biting himself. This is only cute when its to stifle noises during sex, not as a stim. The amount of silicon stim toys he goes through during the stressful parts of the season is so many, he just doesn't use them around certain parts of the team because he doesn't want toddler or dog jokes. Rusty is Tristan's safe space for stimming. He bought Tristan his first chew back when they were both in WBS and Rusty was stimming through his speech therapy practice).

PO does not want to be here, having this conversation with Ned, but he promises Ned that Kris isn’t mad. Tanger is protective of his goalies but he's not mean, especially to a teammate who has done nothing wrong. (He’s not mad. He's not even disappointed. He just needs Ned and Tristan to talk to each other and neither are helping him so he's feeling exasperated).

Off in the corner actually practicing during practice is Sid who is like “the weird goalie shit is no longer my responsibility don’t get me involved but also Ned if you need help I’m right here.” Geno, A on his sweater, is standing next to Sid, putting off extreme “we’re not getting involved but also if someone is mean we will absolutely get involved” vibes. Geno will absolutely not meddle in his teammates' interpersonal drama — unless of course someone gives him big enough puppy dog eyes in which case he will absolutely make Sid meddle in his teammates' interpersonal lives.

Anyway PO has pulled Ned aside to see what the problem is and also make sure Ned knows that Tanger isn’t mad but the couple does want to talk to him, preferably together. Ned tells PO that he's not talking to both of them at once, so they put their heads together and concoct a plan where PO distracts Tanger while Ned goes to talk to Jars.

Kris knows exactly what PO is doing when PO drags him to lunch away from the rink after practice. (PO is not subtle and only pretended for Ned’s sake because Ned wants to believe Tanger is distracted). Kris is the one who sent him there in the first place so it doesn't matter how terrible a liar PO is since he was in on it from the beginning. If it makes Ned comfortable enough to talk to Tristan then Kris counts it as a win. He wants to be there to make sure Tristan uses his words because Tristan likes to not do that. If one on one is what it takes however, c'est la vie.

Alex (Ned) dilly dallies after PO has successfully lured Tanger out of the arena for lunch, but dutifully goes to find Jarry. Jake has that look in his eye like if Alex hangs around the locker room long enough he's going to ask what's wrong and Alex refuses to have another embarrassing conversation with one of Jarry's friends today. Might as well get rejected now. It takes him a bit to locate Jarry, but the process of elimination means he’s probably hanging out in the goalie lounge.

The lounge is something rather unique to the Penguins. It's basically a large room with a kitchenette in one wall, two doors set into the other, its own bathroom and shower through another door, and chairs and couches in the middle to hang out. It’s explicitly for the goalies only, no skaters or coaches allowed unless by invitation. Tanger, Alex has come to find, has a free pass to hang out as much as he wants. Everyone else gets turned away. It's the perfect place to nap in the arena because it's away from the hubbub and noise of the locker room and other player lounges. It also has their nests. Which made it doubly the perfect place to find his goalie partner who was close to actually nesting soon.

When Ned gets to the lounge, Jars is asleep on a couch facing away from the door, face shoved into a hoodie, door to his nest wide open. (The lounge door was locked when Ned got there—the only ppl with a key are Tags, Ned, Kris, Sid, and Sully— and the only people who would enter without knocking or an invitation are Tanger and himself). Tristan has absolutely acknowledged what his instincts were telling him and is prepared to have a verbal conversation with Ned. Tristan is not however immune to making a big gesture and there is no way Tristan could be more obvious about wanting to share his nest with Ned unless he was naked in Ned’s jersey.

Tristan didn't mean to fall asleep but Ned left his hoodie in the lounge and this deep into pre-nesting and with the way his insomnia is he curled up with Ned's #39 hoodie and started dozing almost immediately after sitting down to wait. Tristan is still probably a day or two from fully nesting - maybe less depending on how the next game goes. He’s good to sit on the bench tonight but it’s a good thing Ned is starting. (Tristan is looking forward to watching tonight for once. Plus the rest of the team is extra touchy when he's on the bench during pre-nest so he gets lots of backslaps and fistbumps and casual attention from the coaches and equipment guys).

In the present moment he's asleep when Ned walks into the lounge and sees a door wide open that he never expected to see the other side of. Behind him the lounge door swings shut and closes with a quiet click. Alex can't spare a moment to feel grateful that nobody else can walk in on this as everything in him is focused on the room before him.

Alex doesn't know what he expected when he signed with the Pens. He figured it would be a chance to stay in the NHL, a one year tryout on a new team as he worked to make his game competitive again. What he got was a team that really cared about its goalies —both of them —nowhere more clearly was that displayed than the fact that both of them had nesting rooms inside the arena set aside for them to use even when they were not nesting. Even the ahl goalies had rooms they could use somewhere in the bowels of the arena in case they got called up and something happened. Jars was always fussing with his; bringing bedding and trinkets to the arena before disappearing into his room with them and not emerging until later.

In contrast, Alex hadn't done much to spruce up the semi-generic hotel room he had been left with after DeSmith had been traded and the room cleared out. The odds of him needing to nest this year were rather low and he didn’t want to get attached since it was only one year. He had some Pens stuff in his room along with some old red blankets he'd brought with him from his previous teams. A couple of his new teammates had insisted on giving him jerseys so they were neatly folded in the chest of drawers next to a spare change of clothes he kept in case he didn't want to go home to get changed. The most personal thing that he'd added to his room was his goal puck from Wilkes Barre earlier in the season. It felt right having it at the arena and he'd brought his other pucks too so they'd all be together. They sat in a pile next to the bedside table, his goals, shutty puck, and first win with each of his teams. Chopper had seen the pile and offered to build him something, but Alex didnt feel comfortable asking during the season.

Alex's first instinct is to leave the lounge and come back later. He can't hear Tristan making any noise in the nest and he doesn't want to intrude on the other goalie's territory. His curiosity gets the better of him and before he knows it he's in the doorway to Jars' nest.

Jars' nest is different than Alex's. The walls are painted a light blue-gray color and it seems like every surface is covered in either blankets or jerseys. The overhead light is turned off but it doesn't matter because the room is softly lit by two bedside lamps that shed dim light and fairy lights that cover practically the whole ceiling, illuminating everything.

Alex finds himself drawn into the room, unable to resist touching everything. He can see the jerseys the team had surrendered earlier in the week woven in among the blankets on the bed, but what surprised him was how many other jerseys there were in the room. Alex recognizes the designs on some of them - the current third jersey, last year’s reverse retro - while others he's unfamiliar with - the bright yellow one looks like it should belong to a Preds player more than the Penguins if not for the logo on the chest. Some of the names and numbers he recognizes from the team and former Penguins he's met between games and traveling but not all of them. He catches sight of a 53 on the edge of the bed and a 6 on top of another jersey near the left bedside table, a nameplate with -vist half visible under it. The number 58 is unavoidable. Everywhere he looks there's 35s and 58s tucked in among the other numbers. The whole room feels cozy. It should stink worse than the locker room, especially with the sweaty game jerseys from earlier, but instead it just kinda smells like Tristan.

After doing a lap of the room, Alex finds himself just sort of lightly running his fingers over an ice blue blanket that reminds him of the color of the midwinter sky. It's one of the softest things he’s ever felt and if Jars doesn't kill him for being in his nest he wants to know where he got it. He wants one for his bed at home. At some point while this is happening, Tristan wakes up from his nap and quietly stumbles his way to the doorway of the nest.

Tristan lingers in the doorway, the hoodie he was sleeping on half on him, but putting it on properly isn't as important as watching the look of awe on Ned's face as he explores Tristan's nest. Tristan feels fondness bubble up inside his chest and he feels like he’s about ready to start purring from the way his instincts are singing. The only thing missing is Kris but Tristan knows he’s a big boy who will show up when he’s needed. His sleepy brain knows Kris was busy with something, but it's okay, Kris always comes home to him. He's not worried.

Tristan was a little skeptical when Kris asked if he wanted to nest with Ned because he’s never really wanted to nest with anyone but Kris. Seeing Ned here is everything he didn’t know he was craving. Tristan 0, his instincts (and also Kris) 1.

Tristan would probably be content to stay there forever but eventually Ned notices him in the doorway. Tristan can tell the moment it happens because Ned stiffens up and his body language goes tight. The sight of Ned's hunched shoulders pulls a wounded noise out of Jars chest which just further serves to drive Ned's shoulders higher around his ears.

Tristan abandons the doorway to walk up to Ned and pull him into a hug. Ned can't hide his flinch when Tristan first makes contact but he doesn't pull away or prevent tristan from getting his arms around him. It takes Ned a couple of moments to realize that nothing bad is happening, its Just one of Tristan's octopus hugs like he gets after good games. After a few seconds, Ned lets himself relax into the hug unsure what Tristan is doing. Tristan takes Ned relaxing as his cue to gently take the blanket from Ned's hand and lead him out of the nest. Tristan would love to just kiss Ned right there and hope the other goalie understood what he wanted, but he promised Kris he'd use his words so that meant talking.

Tristan doesn't take Ned far. He leads Ned back to the couch that he was sleeping on a short while ago, awkwardly shoving the nest door closed on their way past. It takes Ned a moment to realize that he's supposed to sit down, but when he does the seat is still warm from Tristan's nap. Tristan goes to sit down next to Ned and is stopped by their intertwined hands. Neither of them are sure when they started holding hands, but Tristan is not going to let Ned go that easy. In Tristan's other hand is the blanket. He takes a moment to carefully wrap it around Ned before plopping down on the couch. It takes everything in Tristan to not crawl into Ned's lap and go back to sleep but talking. He promised talking. (Tristan really does not want to talk but Ned's eyebrows are doing that thing where they try to hide how freaked out Ned is feeling and does not want that. Ned should not be upset while wrapped up in his nest.

For Alex, he has no idea what is going on but all of Jars' nonverbal cues have been nonthreatening, if not outright affectionate, so he's doing everything he can to calm his fight or flight instincts and not bolt. He promised PO and by proxy Tanger that he'd work this out. They have a game tonight. He can't upset his top defenseman and backup goalie. Sully would shout and everyone would be mad and probably take Jarry's side cause he's clearly fucked up tresspassing in Jars’ nest. Jars is just too nice to yell at him inside his nest. Okay that doesn't explain him wrapping him in the blanket but that's the other reason Alex hasn't fled — its so soft and it feels safe. Alex isn't going to make the first move tho. Jars can stare all he wants but Alex isn't saying shit.

They stare at each other in silence for a moment before Tristan decides this is bullshit and sits up to shift positions on the couch so that they can face each other better. As he does this, Tristan also realizes hes half wearing a hoodie and shrugs it on the rest of the way. The number 39 is unmistakable on his chest and startles an appreciative noise out of Ned. Tristan feels a smile break out into his face. He hadn't been totally sure if Ned was even interested in him that way, but all signs had pointed to yes.

"You know I'm nesting, right?" Tristan asked for a lack of a better opening.

Ned nodded.

"I've also kind of been all over you this week. —Thanks for that by the way. You do not have to humor me when I get like that."

"Of course I would. I'd be a pretty terrible hockey player if I couldnt take care of a nesting goalie. Plus us goalies gotta stick together against the skaters. Its not like the forwards are going to protect the net like it should be." Ned joked, trying to lighten the mood and shift the topic to one of their favorites, dragging their forwards for their pitiful backchecking. Unfortunately for him Tristan was a man on a mission.

"Kris and I had a conversation the other day. Thats actually why we wanted to talk to you —“

"Look if you need me out of here thats fine. We have a game tonight but after that I can stay as far away as you need me until your nesting period is over." Ned interrupted Tristan to say.

"I. The opposite. Please dont leave." Tristan reached out to grab Ned's hand from where it was worrying the edge of the blanket. Tristan took a deep breath and started over. "Kris mentioned that he’s noticed me doing courting behaviors. At you. He uhhh was pretty specific about it too. So, uhh, do you want to join us in my nest?"

Ned looked skeptical and every moment he didn't say anything made Tristan want to curl in on himself and hide. Damn the talking method, instincts based courting had worked for him in the past, he's doing that from now on.

Finally Ned took a breath, squeezed the hand Tristan was still holding, and said "Your nest?"

"Yeah. I'd uhh really like it if you were there. With me. Us. Kris—Tanger would be there too. If that's a dealbreaker. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but I want to spend it with you. Both of you."

"This wasn't what i was expecting when PO said you wanted to talk to me."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Cool." Tristan felt a big smile break out across his face. Ned returned one that looked equally joyful.

There was something bubbly in Tristan's gut that he usually only felt during buzzer beating big saves and the best wins. His smile was feeling big and giddy. He started to lean forward but the voice in the back of his head that sounded a little like a certain exasperated quebecois grumbled about words.

"Can I kiss you? We can talk about nesting and stuff later but I really want to kiss you now."

Ned nodded, smile still on his face, so Tristan leant forward and pressed his smile against Ned's.

They probably spent too much time making out on the couch like teenagers because eventually Tristan's phone buzzed with a text from Kris wondering where he was.

(End cause I dont want to write more or figure out if its plat/nonsexual nesting, semi-plat, or sexual nesting. Tanger enjoys having another person to help him spoil Jars. Alex likes getting to know the both of them better. If this is sexual nesting, Alex is not as into biting as both Tanger and Jars Kris and Tristan are but he still walks out of the nest with his own set of marks.)

Bonus bc this would be post post fic ie after nesting: Tristan also has his goal puck in his nest. Both the ahl and nhl pucks. Ned’s ahl pucks are in his nest. By the end of the fic both of their pucks are in a big pile together on one of the dressers.

[happy-tori-friends]

TWITTER MUSINGS - AGAIN

trying to cut back on twt and maybe move musings to here and to bsky... this features one stupid post from bsky too

i need to start posting notices when i update like ppl wanted kjfdjkdfjkf this happened with bw too, i did it and then i started to forget.

some of these may have been confessed to treetownconfessions at the same time. hi i'm nemmy.

Winter

lifty and shifty push their beds together and huddle for warmth during the nights when the heat in their apartment doesnt work. it doesnt help much. when they move in with splendont, they learn that he has a lot of body heat and with the house being heated and them sleeping with one of them on each side of him, their heads on his chest and cuddled close, they have their first comfortable winter night in years. warm. safe. secure. happy.

Sanguine Thoughts

thinking about vampire oneshot 4 halloween and how lifty and shifty eat a lot of meat and makes their blood rich in iron... waht if that makes it extra yummy for splendont + blood drinking seen as an act of intimacy...

i really like vampires.

+ woozy lifty and/or shifty leaning up against splendont after being drinken from, him making them eat afterwards... i have a lot of thoughts...

:)

i wanna write lifty getting comforted and loved by splendont despite all his insecurities and issues.

i would also like to write all that but [REDACTED]

Warrior Cats

my version of lifty and shifty shouldnt have been forced to steal to survive at 11 years old they should have been reading warrior cats like the rest of us autistic kids

lifty and shifty arguing over who gets to be firestar in their warrior cats larping session. shady, watching them, thinks 'who tf is firestar'

they make him read warrior cats to them before bed and one day he says 'yknow boys *i* should be firestar. i'm your dad' and shifty says 'no way, youre too old you can be purdy!' shady, at most 31 (he and jewel had them between 18-20, pretty young): THE OLD GUY?!

in bed that night 'jewel... i'm not as young as i used to be... i'm an elder now...' jewel pats him and says 'its olay honey theyre kids. their perception of being old is different bc theyre young' 'MY BONES ARE ACHING JEWEL... I NEED THE YOUNGINS TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND BRING FOOD AND GET RID OF THE TICKS'

jewel laughs. 'shady, you're taking this larping business to seriously. go to bed.'

they would assign jewel ferncloud btw

Game

had an idea in my head for the htf chatfic involving a video game but then i pivoted to a different video game (cuphead) but i think the original video game was also hard but IDR WHAT IT WAS AND IM ANGRY ABOUT IT unless it was always cuphead and there was no first game

(i still dont remember)

Donut Earirngs

nutty would go wild for those donut earrings in the new moogle event. notoyo matoyo the 27 year old lalafell will be wearing them whether he likes it or not

i have no idea what notoyo looks like but he probably looks silly. nutty created him with love.

Disorganized

shifty has the energy of that kid taht just shoved all their school shit into their backpack. no folders. so naturally he did the same with his very important tranaformation trinket and has to spend forever digging the watch and crystal out while a monster causes mayhem.

Lifty :D

i love you lifty! yay! your my favorite :D *projects onto him and hos brother and gives him A Lot of Issues.*

Animal Crossing

splendont buys the twins animal crissing new horizons alongsuse switches. he asks them about it. lifty has played the game normally. shifty has not paid the first nook miles debt and has focused entirely on making money.

"you know theres more game if you pay the debt, right?" asks splendont

"there's what" shifty replies, astonished

"you didnt notice me doing more with my game?" lifty asks.

shifty did not for he was too focused on making bells

they co op and splendont and lifty try to give each other tours of their islands but shifty keeps hitting them and the villagers with nets or axes.

Back At The BBQ Musings

lifty who hopes to make a good impression at the very first group gathering he's ever really been into vs food gremlin shifty who eats so much meat he passes the fuck out

YouTuber Shifty

*unregistered hypercam 2, the most laggy and low quality footage ever. the Worst mic quality.*

shifty: hey guys welcome back to my channel today i will be playing minecraft.

*five seconds of footage*

shifty: thanks for watching, part 2 if we get 10 ppl in the $500,000 tier on my patreon

when this doesnt work he starts a content farm or a malicious prank channel

Mother 3

i had this thought when i first concepted their backstory bc i had a very brief earthbound + mother 3 phase but splendont and the twins finish earthbound and he tells them that he hasn't played mother 3 but hes heard good things about and they play the fan translation.

'oh huh they're twins. haha lets name the characters after our family!" says lifty, naming lucas after himself, klaus after shifty, hinawa after their dead mom, and flint after their father who was very much impacted by the death of their mother

35 or so hours of gameplay later, the emotional damage levels are out of this fucking world.

The Worst Sims 4 Save (cq for. vague nsfw mentions)

the other day i made splendont and the twins (and splendid) in the sims 4 with wicked whims installed and also plopped down an old shizaya household i made and had shifty go visit them. he stole 3 things, did not not hit it off great with izaya (but found them both attractive) and then proceeded to mess around on their tablet while they got freaky. shizuo THEN proceeded to start a fire on the grill only for shifty to put it out. then he went home.

shifty also liked to kick the trash can when he got angry (i gave him the hot headed trait) and bc lifty and splendont kept getting playful (listen i ran out of ideas - i gave lifty a custom traits that gave him a constant sad moodlet and another negative one so i replaced that with playful and i gave splendont one that made him playful around his loved ones) so they kept fucking playing in the trash. they were also insatiable (to be fair i had it turned on high a while for the hell of it and was constantly running romantic actions to try and fix relationship satisfaction) but god damn. it was basically either flirty, playful (for lifty and splendont), angry (for shifty), or sad (for lifty, though he sometimes got a fine or tense moodlet). i ended up stopping playing the save file bc it was too hard trying to balance two romantic satisfaction bars and making them stop getting freaky to go to work (shifty was unemployed but dont and lifty had jobs) even tho i was using cheats

getting freaky doesnt really help the satisfaction btw and it just interrupted a lot of my flirting actions so having it on high didnt really work the way i was hoping

Shifty's Hobby

splendont: yknow your brother likes to bowl and do mechanical stuff, or just... make things. like cooking or using his hands or being creative. he plays video games too but do you have hobbies? dont say stealing things. shifty: of course i have fucking hobbies! i... play games +

too sometimes! splendont, snorting: anything else? shifty: of course! what do you take me for? i... i... *cut to shifty with his head in his hands and splendont patting his back* splendont: we'll find you something you like doing, i'm sure.

his hobbies are hating splendid, being annoying (especially towards lifty bc. siblings), and causing problems /j

Surgery (from BSKY!!!)

stupid idea that makes like no sense but popped into my head: fliqpy holding a knife with the text caption of 'giving my boyfriend the surgery he needs! (i dont have a medical license ^_^)' in the background, splendid is laying in a bed with a terrified expression

the ^_^ is super necessary bc it makes it feel so much funnier

FFXIV AU Starting Guilds

whats arguably funny about the twins quitting their starting guilds is that

1. the lvl 15 archer quest is when silvaire stops trying to get the wol expelled from the guild and just doesnt want to really show he accepts their skill. shifty still throws a tantrum n breaks the bow and quits.

2. the level 15 pugilist quest is when hamom reveals he isnt as good as he used to be bc hes old and chuchuto asks the wol to help him regain his passion. and then lifty has to awkwardly tell her that this is Not for him.

FFXIV AU: The Office

splendont looking off to the side like theres a camera and he's on the office after having his first echo vision: i miss my boyfriends chat. i miss them a lot.

y'shtola: *thinking* who the hell is he talking to?

*A FEW EXPANSIONS LATER*

splendont, doing the same thing while also dying of light poisoning: i miss my boyfriends chat

(said boyfriends are mad at him for getting light poisoning and off trying to find a cure)

ardbert: ...do you perhaps mean... me?

FFXIV AU: Gravity

ffxiv au lifty tries to calm down his nerves after getting to mare lamentorum by doing a little jump and then spends a good 5 minutes having a crisis bc it does not have low gravity.

FFXIV AU: Balmung

prequel tweet: i have a really stupid ffxiv au joke to make but it hinges specifically on knowledge that balmung is the sex rp world/server and also me making a random excuse for game mechanics via the aetheryte to be plausible in the isekai setting

*ul'dah aetheryte plaza*

lifty: huh... i think you can travel to different worlds with this thing. ...balmung? i'm gonna go there.

*five minutes later, he teleports back in*

lifty, horrified: Do Not Go To Balmung

shifty: lmao loser it can't be that bad.

*another 5 minutes later*

shifty: Do Not Go To Balmung

splendont: i'm sure it's fine. *another five minutes later*

splendont: ah. nope. Do Not Go To Balmung.

bright volcano: ...huh?

shifty: wait. wait hear me out lets go to balmung... Together.

*an hour passes before they return, disheveled*

splendont: balmung's pretty neat actually

lifty: agreed shifty: fr

bright lava: What The Hell Happened In Balmung

splendont: for us to know and you to not.

im from balmung btw im allowed to make this joke.

Bad HTF x FFXIV Tweets Based On Focus Expansions

got accused of assassinating the sultana bc i picked up a cool bottle and then got dragged into fighting dragons and defeating some old ruler guy! hashtag just lifty things!!!

decided to help free this nation from the empire's rule but we fucked up and now we went to free another country from the same empire and somehow a failef assassination attempt on the empire's prince turned into him being obsessed with fighting me! hashtag just shifty things!!!

got called to another dimension in the world im isekai'd into to stop eternal day by killing light monsters and absorbing the light but it was too much for my body and i almost became a giant world destroying light monster and terrified my bfs! hashtag just splendont things!!!

(the realest thing was after it i just tweeted'this is stupid as a reply. bc it is')

FFXIV AU: WORQOR ZORMOR - The Healer Conundrum

OG THREAD + A BONUS: bad ffxiv au: shifty says something snarky and then gets tankbusted (he is Not a tank)

badder idea: shifty says hell no to healer alisae and instead gives lifty a book and a soul crystal and says 'here you heal'

'how tf did you get this' asks everyone. 'stole it how else,' he responds.

cut to lifty panicking bc he doesn't know how to do SHIT.

lifty staring at the fairy 'please help me we are dying'. the fairy is also confused.

pov: your name is shifty. you, your twin brother, and your shared boyfriend have all been isekai'd into the critically acclaimed mmorpg final fantasy xiv. youve been through a lot of shit and now youre on a journey to help someone claim the throne. you need to climb a mountain which is a dungeon. but the only healer in your group is staying behind. his sister, a red mage, offers to heal for you. she has a healing spell and a revival spell in her kit. you get along well, you even consider her a friend, but she always takes the limit break when it's available and you dont really trust her as a healer. you also stole a soul crystal and weapon for a healing class at some point just because, but you think being healer would be lame and your boyfriend is way too cool to be a healer. all things considered your group technically isnt playing by the games rules considering you have two tanks and normally 4 dps and one healer, but youre down a healer. krile is happy as a pictomancer, and you think having two tanks is really funny so wuk lamat is off the hook. that leaves alisae, aka the red mage who offered to heal, and your brother lifty, a machinist. he has never been a healer, let alone a disciple of magic. do you trust alisae or do you force your brother who has really never casted a spell in his life and has no idea how to be a scholar?

FFXIV AU: Bee My Honey

honey b lovely: what? why isn't your heart pounding! why aren't you charmed by me?

lifty, a homosexual: Men

FFXIV AU: G'raha Tia

bad ffxiv au idea. g'raha thinks he has a chance w one of the twins bc he knows splendont is dating one of them but he doesn't know which. what he doesn't know is that its both. its a v poly. hes dating them both. what he ALSO doesnt know is that he has a cute lizard gf in an alternative universe. and in many other universes, other partners. he is beloved.

krile: what's wrong raha?

g'raha: i thought one of the warriors of light was single bc two of them are twins but it turns out theyre both dating the other warrior of light and he's a hinge apparently.

krile: ...you didnt know?

g'raha: .

(THIS IS TOTALLY PROBABLY OOC BY THE WAY DONT TAKE THIS SERIOISLY)

FFXIV AU: Shaaloni

5 seconds after entering shaaloani

shifty: alright pinhead, your time is up!

lifty: im not fucking doing the bit.

erenville: ???

splendont, with all the love and adoration he feels for the two in his eyes: dont question it man, he's just screwing around.

[momointhetardis]

so my partner's work is still fucking making him go in today even though we're fucking under tornado watch which is exceptionally bad here bc there's no way to get out of the way of one here or even see it coming very well. and of course the higher ups that ordered it are all staying home like wtf. so basically I'm going to be sitting here worrying all day and there's nothing I can do about it so this is great. even better bc my partner works like 20 mins from the area that's having fucking mandatory evacuations.

btw this is actually what ppl mean when they say locals become complicit about how dangerous these storms are. his boss has lived here her whole life so she's basically doing the 'oh it's fine I already know' like bitch no you don't! my family said the same shit when we got stuck here for three hurricanes back to back, but you know, my cousin just knew it was fine so obviously it was worth getting stuck w no power for like a month. I really hate idiots who act like hurricanes are no big deal, and this is coming from someone who has been swimming during a Cat 2. It bugs me bc ppl don't understand why it's important to get the fuck out of the way. It's not just about the safety of your employees, although that is important, it's also about the fact that you're hindering those who need to be out during it and that also really pisses me off bc that shit costs soooo many lives during these storms. when we stayed for those three hurricanes my cousin's husband went out with his friends during it to party, turns out they caused a huge delay on the roads and an ambulance and some other vehicles had to wait to get through.

Like, with my partner's work they're going to heading towards the direction that mandatory evacuees are going to be heading and will be right on the edge of it when the storm hits. this is literally the most dangerous area to be bc you're actively blocking necessary vehicles at that point, like for sure, or at least slowing them down. A lot of why businesses and stuff close during hurricanes is bc even if you feel safe you can be in the way majorly of someone else either trying to evacuate or someone trying to respond to something.

Desantis can go fuck himself too bc a lot of this is directly his fault. Other govs before him would normally at least order people to clear the way for responders bc you never know where they're going and time is important. but thanks to him it's iffy if you can even keep your job during mandatory evacuations now. plus he didn't give enough time for mandatory evacuations so this is probably going to cause so much shit bc there's still definitely going to be people stuck in the path and now they can't get out and responders can't get in bc they're going to be fighting fucking work commuters jfc.

luckily my partner used to be a storm chaser for a bit so I'm at least glad he knows what he's doing but I'm still going to be worried about him and I shouldn't have to be

[hunterwritesstuff]

Can you tell us about all the ocs in ur au? Just like names. Or just the characters in general?

Yeah! Going under the cut bc long, but listing most important stuff about them <3 TWs ahead: Abuse, religious trauma, parent death, death, homophobia mention, grief, and other heavy stuff, PLEASE take care of yourselves! Also, don't worry, I'm doing my research for the things here that I don't have experience with and I'm handling the sensitive stuff with utmost care <3

🧸 Hunter had a dad in the navy, but when Hunter was ten-ish, he died out at sea :(

🧸 He was an animator before the studio fell!

🧸 Before the studio fell, he was probably closest to Tom, Sammy, or Wally!

🧸 The reason he quit working there was due to him getting stressed out due to having to deal with his family AND incredibly short deadlines.

🧸 He has the same thing I do where if I stand for too long, his legs start to hurt :(

🧸 His favorite animals are manatees! :D(He relates to them a bit too much lol)

🧸 He very much so will break out into song at random.

🧸 He sees Tom as a father figure!

🧸 He had a breakdown when he realized he was gay :(

🧸 Sammy helped him through it <3

🧸 He's autistic btw, almost everyone here is aside from the last three-

✝️ Kenneth is an ex-choir boy!

✝️ He used to go to church, but stopped when he just didn't have the time to go anymore. He still practices slightly, like, he prays whenever he sees a carcrash, disaster of some sort where other people are in danger/hurt, or he's stressed, and he has a rosary in his pocket at any given time(as a comfort thing and like, as a fidget thing lol)! :D

✝️ Like many of my other ocs, he's autistic lol

✝️ He's always had a weaker right leg, so that's why he uses the cane :D

✝️ He definitely spends a fair amount of his morning routine choosing which cane to use for the day(It has to MATCH the VIBE of the OUTFIT!!! What's the point if it DOESN'T?!?)

✝️ He started off at JDS as a one-off VA for a character(A radio announcer that Bendy bothered because he said he was "too young to go into the business"), but he was fun to work with, so Joey kept him around for other voicework! :D

✝️ Before he worked at Joey Drew Studios, he was a radio announcer!

✝️ He always sorta. forgets to get food?? But Wally helps with that! :D

✝️ Also like, he's sorta like, a mix of Alastor and very VERY toned down Spamton(The best way to explain it is to show how he speaks, so like, he'll deadass just speak like this: "Weather got ya down? No worries! Get some HUGS from YOURS TRULY to help youR SOUL ASCEND to GREAT HEIGHTS!!!!!", his ass does NOT know volume control unless he's working-)

✝️ Also his last name is lowkey a reference to a musical artist I used to listen to a lot when I was younger-

🐕‍🦺 John is an. interesting fella!

🐕‍🦺 He looks average as shit on first glance, maybe you'd think he's like. a little sexist? But nope! He's actually quite sweet, in reality!

🐕‍🦺 He can't really handle excitement too much though :(

🐕‍🦺 Most times, he has his service dog, Wily with him(Wily is a Newfoundland :3), but he can't really bring that to the studio, so he threw together a device that detects his pulse, and if it goes too fast, it beeps at him(I KNOW THIS IS THE THIRTIES BUT LET ME HAVE THIS PLSSS)

🐕‍🦺 Overtime, Norman catches onto this and warns him whenever like. something might be too exciting for him.

🐕‍🦺 His family(thankfully) was in the rare percent of people who were chill with gay people :)

🐕‍🦺 They always felt so bad he had to hide such an, in their words "amazing and beautiful part of yourself" :(

🐕‍🦺 He's one of the few OCs I have who has a good relationship with his parents :]

🐕‍🦺 He's such a shithead in the like, /affectionate way, I love him.

🐕‍🦺 He works at GENT btw lol

🐙 This is Barley!(His name was chosen on purpose lol) He's Hunter's bio dad!

🐙 We love him! He's like, the best dad one could ask for!

🐙 He's the kinda dad to hand out full size candy bars during halloween and compliment EVERY SINGLE COSTUME, and like?? NOT COMMENT ON ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DRESS UP?? AND IF SOMEONE SAYS "Oh, I didn't dress up because I couldn't think of anything... :(" HE IMMEDIATELY SAID "That's alright! You went as the best thing you could, after all! Yourself! I'm so glad to have met you!"

🐙 He gave Hunter a manatee plush when he was like, two.

🐙 He always helped people out if they were having a rough time :)

🐙 Pure of heart, sweet of man <3

🐙 He wasn't a pushover, though! He could still stand up for himself!

🐙 He took Hunter out fishing a lot! Mostly to catch up on what was going on in his kid's life :)

🐙 He loved Hunter with all of his heart, bro, that man treated his son like a Goddamn PRINCE.

🐙 Even if he had a rough day, he'd always either sing Hunter to sleep or read him a bedtime story because "My son being happy makes me happy" :)

🐙 He'd be proud of Hunter...he'd be so proud...

🐙 His ghost still sorta watches over Hunter, man. HE JUST WANTS TO TELL HIM HOW FUCKING PROUD HE IS OF HIMMMM

🐙 BARLEY MAKES ME FUCKING CRY BRO

🪼 This is Marcy, Barley's wife!(And someone else's now, BUT WE'LL FUCKING GET TO HIM.)

🪼 Before Barley passed, she was the typical housewife! Heart of gold!

🪼 She always made sure to make extra bacon for breakfast because it was Barley's favorite and he'd always eat almost all of it :)

🪼 She's a seamstress! :D

🪼 Before Barley died, she always made sure to fix Hunter's manatee if it ever needed it :)

🪼 She was just...so sweet before everything happened...

🪼 Then she got the ill-fated letter. Barley was dead.

🪼 Their once happy, life-filled home now felt...empty. Soulless.

🪼 The day Barley died, a part of Marcy died too.

🪼 The loneliness was too much for her, so after a few months, to try to cope with the loneliness, she found someone and married him.(Again, WE'LL GET TO HIM. DON'T WORRY.)

🪼 Hunter was now just...another person in the house at this point. Marcy still loved him, but she couldn't handle spending much time with him because he acted too much like Barley for her to be able to stand it for too long. The wound was still too fresh.

🪼 She turns a blind eye to how her husband acts because...well...she doesn't want to be lonely anymore.

🪼 The house has a husband in it now, but it feels even more soulless now. There's a new husband and stepdaughter, but the life almost feels even MORE drained out of it.

🪼 Also like, now, anytime Hunter gets home, she measures him to keep track of how big he is. This is why Hunter doesn't really like hugs unless he trusts the person.

🦋 Rebecca. Ooh, Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca, where do I start with her?

🦋 She's Hunter's stepsister. Typical fare for stepsisters in fiction. Bratty, nosy, all of that.

🦋 She doesn't understand privacy too well. She'll just randomly walk into Hunter's room to whine about the latest drama she's had to deal with.

🦋 She's just...exhausting for Hunter to deal with.

🦋 She's younger than Hunter, so she gets pampered a fair amount.

🦋 She gets Hunter to do shit he doesn't want to by saying "Well, if you don't do this for me, I could always tell dad about how you're...well...y'know."

🦋 We don't LIKE HER in this FUCKING HOUSE!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

🦋 Very Rarity-like in the worst possible way.

🦋 Very particular about how everything goes.

🦋 She doesn't understand Hunter's attachment to his manatee plush. It's old, stained, and just overall sorta icky looking(It is covered in years of love and Hunter doesn't want to wash it because it means so much to him and it still sorta has the comforting smell of his bio dad on it so he doesn't want to lose that)

🦋 Trying to decide if I want her to get the Anastasia from the Cinderella sequels treatment or not lmao

🦋 Her dad treats her like a princess. She's very spoiled.

🦋 Speaking of the bitch...

⛓️ This is Bruce. Hunter's stepdad. I hate him so fucking much.

⛓️ He's practically the exact opposite of Barley.

⛓️ He's cold, callous, cruel, uncaring...

⛓️ Y'know that one song someone on youtube made of like. the three disney villains singing about their woes with their daughters?

⛓️ This one? He's basically just Lady Tremaine's verse.

⛓️ He tells everyone that "Hunter just stays in his room all the time because he's a recluse who doesn't love his family.", but he basically gives Hunter no real...reason to come out of his room, even going so far as to make the like, "Look who's finally come out of his room." comments whenever Hunter tries to come out.

⛓️ He basically only pays attention to Rebecca and Marcy, honestly.

⛓️ Holier than thou attitude basically.

⛓️ Unfortunately, unlike Barley, he's. actually REALLY FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC.

⛓️ Anytime Hunter has any friends over, he shoots him a suspicious look. Like, he always assumes Hunter brings them over to either open up about how he's treated or for like, sexual shit.

⛓️ SPEAKING OF HUNTER'S FRIENDS, HE DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING MANY DUE TO THIS BITCH. He vets every person Hunter seems interested in and nine times out of ten doesn't really let Hunter talk with them.

⛓️ He's such a piece of shit, I ACTUALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

⛓️ He literally doesn't allow Hunter to make ANY mistakes. If any are made, he reacts VERY FUCKING POORLY.

⛓️ HE'S WHY HUNTER HATES SURPRISE HIGH-FIVES.

⛓️ I FUCKING HATE HIM.

⛓️ I WANT HIS ASS DEAD.

⛓️ He literally just sees Hunter as a smudge on the family name.

⛓️ I WANT TO TEAR HIM APARTTTT RAHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🦅🦅🔥🔥

⛓️ If the law didn't exist, the INSTANT TOM HEARD ABOUT HOW THIS MF TREATS HUNTER, IT WOULD BE ON FUCKING SIGHT.

⛓️ Whenever Hunter stands up to him, he just laughs, knowing that it won't last long.

⛓️ Whenever Hunter gets more like...dead in personality in the story before he gets inked, THIS MF IS TO BLAME, RAAAAAGGHHH

This is who and what I have so far lol OKAY NOW I NEED TO POST THIS AND GO SHOWER IT'S ALREADY 2:38 PM RAAAHHH /silly

[mekatrio]

my enthusiasm has gradually petered out over the past few days bc i had been so busy + havent been getting enough sleep, but aa2 was a truly amazing experience for me ESPECIALLY the last case, so i still want to dissect my thoughts on it although im not as hyped up as i was right after i finished playing it (i was jumping around and grinning and pacing around my room for hours and shit 😁) i have so many thoughts so im gonna split my review rambling whatever this is into different parts, this one is my thoughts on the first three cases :D

1st case was nothing spectacular.. pretty long for a tutorial level but i guess it was acting as padding for the more dramatic 2nd case.. i guessss. at least it was very funny and not too hard to solve. and it was also trying to be more thorough in teaching the gameplay mechanics during court sessions and making sure players have an idea of what to expect in later cases.. probably... its whatever whatever. at least an amnesic concussion is still the funniest way to reteach a tutorial so im so happy they went with that.

i liked the second case!! i wasnt able to figure out how the clothing box fit into everything until the very end, so i could rly understand wright's panic, bc for a good chunk of the case it really did seem like maya had killed someone. i think this case felt the most 'turnabout' of them all, bc in other cases there were other plausibilities and culprits right from the get-go, but w the way this murder happened in a locked room with (seemingly) only 2 individuals inside, it actually did feel impossible to save maya at first. so it was very satisfying to pick apart the lies and inconsistencies and be able to arrive to the truth. and it was nice to see kurain village, and learn more about the feys in general. and it was nice to see mia again!!! i wasnt sure if she would be coming back or not. mia and maya's reunion at the end of the case was super touching, bc one of the saddest moments in aa1 to me was during the 4th case when maya couldnt channel mia, and was wondering if she would ever be able to see her again.. so it was nice that she was really able to see her again :')

speaking of mia, i dont know if this series will explore this further, but just thinking abt her state of existence is lowkey kinda scary.. like, whats it like being dead? whats the difference between being alive and dead, considering mia is still somewhat mentoring and advising us despite being dead? could a fey, who can just possess another fey like that, be able to steal the body of another fey if they were killed? (this sounds like a possible case in the future, i wonder if this will happen..) will mia be like that forever? will future generations be able to speak to this mia, can she like.... rest? disappear? does she want to? can she? and its also pretty sad too, with how in aa1 when maya wondered if she could see her again; i feel like its less sad to have someone you love die and have that be that, than it is for them to die and you can maybe or maybe not see them again.. like i dunno. i hope this gets explored more, im curious abt it!!

also, mia being in this state of 'is but isnt here' really makes phoenix's character more enriching to me, bc in the first game he lost someone very dear and important to him... except not really. and we never really see him properly grieve mia in any extent if my memory is correct. like he didnt really dwell on it, he had to push thru it in order to defend maya. but then now in the second game, when we compare wright's almost... flippancy towards mia's death to his refusal to even acknowledge edgeworth's 'death'.... its a super interesting difference. this isnt to say that phoenix necessarily values one character over the other, but bc mia isnt necessarily 'gone'... there technically isnt much to mourn? kinda?? so the way we see phoenix behave in this game irt edgeworth, we get to properly see how phoenix behaves in the face of actual loss.. and his answer to loss is to completely reject it. and it works amazingly with gameplay too, bc he's really just compartmentalizing tf out of his issues and being like Nope. Let's Examine This Room Instead :) while maya or pearl just stares at him like 😐 it adds an extremely compelling layer of depth to wright's character!! and these moments of wright's rejection of his loss are done just the perfect amount of times, very seldomly and very restrainfully, that it creates this perfect air of tension throughout the entire game before it finally blows over in the last case. I LOVE IT RRARRGHHHH

pearl's and franziska's introduction to the story were amazing as well! i had no idea what pearl's character would be like... definitely was not expecting her to be mia's vessel #2 😭 but no yes pearl was an infinitely adorable and entertaining character, it is just so so so so awesome to have a tiny child who speaks so elegantly and have such mature tastes, but still be a cute tiny child. i love you pearl. if shes not in the next game im going to be REALLY REALLY SAD....... and franziska came in with just a massive dominating personality like Yes!!! she livened up so much of the game with her presence. im going to give franziska her own post bc she deserves it so ill talk abt her more in depth later.

and of course the ini miney twist... i already said this but the reasoning for the reveal (you cant drive without a license) is fucking IJBOL but ignoring the absurdity of that, it was a really good twist that i didnt see coming but could still be satisfied with. it was also really sad that morgan had to be convicted too, for pearl's sake i had really hoped that tht wouldnt be the case :( all in all the second case was very suspenseful, emotional, and very very good. i really liked it!

and the third case............................................................................

i wanted to put a reaction image here. but i could not find anything that could express the magnitude of my immense disgust. disappointment. resentment. and unhappiness................

i already posted a lot of my main grievances with it in my lb tag, and thinking abt this case again is just self-inflicting psychic damage so ill keep it short. but man did it suck. cuz currently in life i can only play aa like 2/3 days a week and then its back to 4/5 days of work. i did the first two cases in 3 days, worked for the rest of the week, and came back in anticipation bc the second case left off on such a good note. and then to use my 2 free days on a case this shitty... BROOOOOO FUCK THIS SHIT MAN!!! i spent the following days of work just being PISSED AS HELLLL cuz like i wanted to play a better case but now i could seeth as i worked bc of this SHITTY CASE like not only did it suck but it had to be LONG too. not like final case long but normal case long but ugh it sucked sucked sucked. ive said this before but i get they were trying to make the murder seem like a magic trick that we had to figure out the inner workings of, but like.... it just fucking sucked and wasnt well-executed at all. it didnt help that nearly every character in this case was incredibly grating and annoying and the one bearable character, acro, had to be the killer.. also that fucking ventriloquist like why was he standing around in the second day when there was literally nothing to talk to him about? also why did the ringmaster wear max's fucking clothes like wha..... i dont even care anymoreeeee 😭 ok bye bye im gonna gush about the 4th case in a seperate post now cuz that was the best fucking thing ever!!!!!!

[dexaroth]

looong post about missing using backpacks and high-school experiences and personal feelings on the general 'busy/executive' look from carrying luggage and stuff. idk lots of thoughts here to summarize

theres this one hole that being done with high-school left me that's just. having a place to go. being busy, sort of..

having a backpack full of trinkets and your pencil case filled with clips and highlighters. or the rare bunches of printing and colored paper for the art projects or those mathematical rulers you used 3 times the whole year

and most importantly.. the feeling of being a Guy who has Places to go. look at all this luggage! the amount of things I need that goes beyond a simple bag! quite the work eh?

of course half of that perception is just 'wow! executive adult with responsibilities!' but not entirely, there are definitely tasks that require a lot of gear and stuff. filming crews, folks with laptops etc. and then there's the elusive Guy with a Big Bag With Wheels. thats the peak of the ideal

as with everything in my life specifically it all circles back to being disabled and having to stay at home bc I literally am not capable of physically doing anything even remotely close to what the generic student/employed person does and I think that helps a lot to the kind of romanticized view I have of this sorta thing

in a good day a majority of people would rather not have to carry and worry about a pack full of stuff or having to carry the weight of a computer and then some. but it's not that bad if you like/love what you're doing even if it requires those things yknow?

every year of high-school, even if it was the worst experience of my life that degraded me mentally physically and made me so fucked I had to cut myself in between or during classes.. I still looked up to the starting week and the feeling of a kind of new beginning. and packing everything to be super ready to whatever was to come like I was about to spend a month in the wild or climb a mountain

camping and stuff is another kind of 'look at all this shit we're packing and gadgets we have to make fire or little lanterns or makeshift homes (tents) that we have' and its just. holy shit man you sure are busy with a lot of stuff to do huh. and you've got the money to buy it all and friends to enjoy it with you. and you're going to the woods for fun and not to run away from your life because everything sucks. you've got your life all figured out! if only I could also match this unrealistic utopic vision that's sold in every sleeping bag package lol! 🙃

and the rest of this romanticized view also extends a bit to gender and self esteem in a way

of course I, a disabled person, would love to be a person that Can go places and even Has places to go and is important enough to have a complex task that needs all that luggage. and looks like a guy. maybe even a fancy guy with fancy bags and fancy clothing. it's all very important, being all that! unlike being a nobody that has to ask for a seat bc he can't stand for 2 minutes without crumpling like a wet sock because of his fucked up spine and spaghetti muscles

everybody looks up to someone who has something that they don't and wish they had or were like.. and I'm so miserable I just wish I mattered enough to be that average guy crossing the street with his bag on his shoulder. and it just so happens that's asking too much of life in my case

[brianyololau]

January 4, 2023

starting the year off with good habits. I’m gonna journal lol. kind of weird making a post after i’ve been so lazy to for so long, but there have been too many times where i thought about how journaling would be really good for my mental clarity right now. there were times when i had multiple stressors in my life going on at once, and i didn’t allow myself some way to express and think about these things. i think it’s a necessary process because allowing time to be present creates realizations and through realizations come wisdom & experience.

So here I am. i have a lot to unfold, but I guess i’ll take this one day at a time because i’m busy tonight. today is my first day that i’m working at orange coast memorial hospital night shift 😮‍💨. ur boy’s employed and not just that.. at a muh fudgin HOSPITAL BITCH. I got an ID that scans into computers, opens doors, and everything. I gotta be at work in an hour so imma cut it short.

I made grandma cry today. I didn’t mean to, but I feel like shit for it. I woke up stressed bc I let myself sleep in, I had work to worry about, some fear of how my life is gonna change, and I knew I had more errands I hadn’t finished. So, i got more annoyed when i was microwaving food and grandma kept asking mundane questions that felt like I was being talked to by a robot. no substance. it felt like a chore just speaking to her. so i didn’t as i was eating and she noticed and asked why i was upset. so i basically told her that and said if she wants me to talk to her more she should start asking more personable questions like how i’m feeling and how was my first day at work. she said okay and started crying, so she left to the sofa. I came over and asked what was wrong, and she told me it hurts when i don’t talk to her because she loves me and always wants to talk to me. But i don’t ask about her. I started feeling terrible. I knew she’s been sad and becoming more weak minded. However, I just didn’t feel like I had the power to change her situation which is why I tried to just be there for her in presence, but I should’ve known that wasn’t enough. Even though I’m not good at expressing emotions nonetheless inquiring about them, I realized how important it was to always consider them. Because you never know who you could be affecting by neglecting them. And I had neglected my grandma’s without realizing it.

I apologized. I explained to her that a lot of things in my life recently have made it hard for me to feel at peace and waking up in the morning to these stressors have made me more irritable which made me more cold to her. I told her I never meant to hurt her like that. I could never. Talking to her made me realize that I was ungrateful for the people I have in my life and that I was forgetting who I’m living and trying to be happy with.

What’s the point of striving for success if you’re not making your life any happier? Knowing that my grandma loves me and supports me with everything she has makes me happy enough. How could I forget that?

Grandpa came during this conversation and started demanding me to read something for him. so told him I was busy. he had the audacity to get pissed and tell me it would just take a minute. I raised my voice and repeated myself which i probably shouldn’t have done but he got the message. Immediately he assessed the situation, looked at my grandma and said why’re you crying? who made you cry? hurry up and tell me so i can fix this. she said no one im just feeling sick. she had my back. he then scoffed and said what kinda wife doesn’t share things with her husband and went back to his room. he came back out to get picked up by someone, and i heard him call mutter to himself how grandma was clumsy, slow, and basically a person not worthy of respect. real pos moment right there, myself included as well.

I went to the gym later and told myself that this year, i should stop letting stressors in life affect my personal life at home. they should be mutually exclusive until i remove myself from the comfort of my home because allowing stress into every part of my life is not worth projecting its manifestations onto myself and around the people i love during every waking moment.

[teddybeartoji]

it's so good to hear you're doing good<33 reading and writing IS SO MUCH FUN IT'S CRAZY i hope the rest of your break goes super well too and omfg don't forget to rest!!!!!! i bet the uni life is hard to it's important to me that you take care of yourself OR ELSE!!!

i had a couple of very good days!!! spent pretty much all of my free time writing and honestly i'm loving it so so much i'm so glad i took it up (mind u i started in like september loool it's very funny to me) but i'm having so much fun with it (ESP NOW WITH U)

okay now for the movies hehehehhe i like movies a lot a lot a lot so u do have to tell me more about your favs bc i wanna give good recs!!!!! if u liked knives out did you also like glass onion? i need to know. have you by any chance seen anything else that the director of the sherlock holmes movies has made?? bc i fucking love that guy

no but your answers are so RIGHT AND SO FUNNY LMAOO i think its especially funny bc me and sugu would absolutely have these filmbro conversations about fight club and the dark knight and and american psycho (i literally love those movies i'm not even kidding..................) we'd definitely make fun of u n gojo for not knowing anyhting about them lol i do think he'd fucking hate if people talk during the movies............ which i also do I TRY TO HOLD BACK I PROMISE I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THE LITTLE THINGS OK

but it would be so cool to go to film festivals with his pretentious ass (i love him) just got this mental image of him always holding your hand during the movies too or atleast trying to if you're anything like me and you're just kind of busy eating popcorn.... if your hands are busy he'd definitely rest his big ass hand on your thigh

i actually think gojo would really like knives out and the sherlock holmes movies too!!! they're so fun and he'd love to fucking roleplay the detective but i also have a feeling that even though irl he's like super observant, during the movies that shit flies so far out the window and then he's absolutely flabbergasted at who the killer really is (and he'd be so upset if u guessed it correctly hehehe silly boy)

and i think shoko would enjoy watching everyone bicker about the killer (she would 1000000% know who it is from like the first two seconds of the movie let's be honest she's the smartest one) oh and shoko and horror movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ari you're so right!!!!!!!!! (she would also 10000000000000% make fun of you for being scared she'd think it's so cute i just know it) and omfg i would love to hear her talk about the gory details and how it really should be and how it really should look that sounds so fucking cool are you kidding

i think i would so so so love to watch crime stuff with her like the tv show bones lol (i used to love that show when i was a kid idk what that says about me every day during the dinner i grabbed the remote and put that on and my mom would just lecture me about how that is not the show for dinner time...........)

and hello???? shoko n the office???? i would've never thought of that but i totally see the vision!!!! i can just imagine u two cuddled up under a layers of blankets watching it:(( cute cute cute BTWW who'd you think her favourite character would be??

GOJOOOOOOOOO MY SILLY SILLY SILLY GUY THE SILLIEST OF THEM ALL OH HE WOULD LOOOOVE MUSICALS it's so serious he'd be singing along standing on the couch with the remote as the mic...................... serenading you with his like u said beautiful voice he's just too perfect he actually makes me mad why couldn't he just be fucking tone deaf SMHHHHHH he'd have the cutest smile while singing and jumping around though:(((( and he just wants to see u smile so he'll be even louder and even wilder when u try to hide it

HELLLLLLLOOOO I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT PITCH PERFECT well i was trying to think of musicals i'm sorry i haven't actually seen a lot of those but PITCH PERFECT HOLY SHIT i love that i have all of the performances fucking carved into my brain ok i would definitely watch that with him and this time would perform together AWWWW and annoy the living fuck out of every other living soul who might be in the house with us<3333333

PLEASSSEE him and reality tv................ such a funny combo i love it every week he'd drag u to the couch and just nail you down under him and make u watch it (u would literally do it anyway) and he really is just screaming at the screen and honestly i feel like he'd side with the women a lot more lmao when a guy does something even a little bit rude he's all like "what a dick i would never i would never baby" dummy

talking about screaming at the screen - how fucking funny would it be to watch sports with him lmaooooooooooooo like i only occasionally watch football (the world and european cup) and i get so into it and i think he'd be so into it too. at first he'd just make fun of me for getting upset but then a minute later he's right there with me booing and acting like the fucking coach he's so funny wahhh

hehehe for my own favourite movies - snatch, spider-man: into the spider-verse, everything everywhere all at once and blade runner 2049 (talk about a pretentious film watcher SMHH). i like to pretty much watch anything and everything but i do loveeee watching fun stuff lmao i really like action movies and i often like to watch breakdowns of the action sequences (wow what a surprise)

but if u really want movie recs i can always give u my letterboxd i'm pretty sure u can still check out my lists even if u don't have an account!! u let me know!!!! and please!! tell me more about your favourites!!!! SENDING U LOTS OF HUGSSS I LOVED TO READ YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SO MUCH THANK YOUU

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ari<33 how was your day? how is it going? tell me tell me!! MY QUESTION IS what movies would be your movies with gojo n geto n shoko?? like something you're both always down to watch

i just thought about this bc i put jackass on for background noise (a totally normal thing to do i know) and i realized that jackass would absolutely be something me n gojo would bond over lmao i think he'd find it so funny and he'd react to everything sooo dramatically like he's crawling backwards over the couch he's gagging he's crying he's laughing and he will most definitely wanna fucking try some of the stunts............................ he's stupid and i love him

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY !!!!!!!! hihihi!!!!!!!!! so happy to see u here hehe. my day was good!!! 🌻🌻🌻 im trying to take advantage of my uni break to read and write a bunch!!! which is super fun :D i wanna check out more of ur stuff sometime soon too !!!!

what abt u mickey?? did u do anything fun??? i hope ur day was (or is!!) super duper lovely <33

AAAA AND. thats the cutest question ever im losing it im biting at the walls tysm for indulging my sashisu obsession….. this got long u have been warned ‼️

FIRST OF ALL i just wanna say i havent watched jackass so i cant comment as much as i want to 😔😔😔 bUT i trust u and agree w everything u say yep yep !!!! AND i 100% agree that gojo would do movie stunts w u THATS SO CUTE 😭😭 he would do the most complicated dangerous stunt just to impress u <333 and then break his ankle. and force u to nurse him back to health it was on purpose :/

ahhh but!!!! honestly mickey i dont watch as many movies as id like to……. (PLS GIVE ME RECS 🙏🙏🙏) i have some faves and genres that i love tho!! so here r just some general thoughts :3

gojo is canonically down to watch basically anything so i feel like we would hunt down the most awful/low quality/unintentionally hilarious movies we can n just lose it laughing. ALSO…. im not super into reality tv but i think gojo would LOVE that shit. obsessed w it. i would watch his silly little reality tv shows just to make him happy <333 i feel like he would have genuine beef w people on the show too PHDKDJD LIKE DAMN IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS… but it is. he’s out for blood.

….. also this is me being self indulgent lets be clear but: some part of me thinks gojo would love musicals <33 its the would-be theatre kid in him. i love and cherish the legally blonde musical and i know he would too. he sings along obnoxiously loud which would be super funny if he was tone deaf but sadly he has a beautiful voice LMAOO

NOW as for shoko …… she loves horror movies. loves them loves them. i think she’d actually prefer really bad horror movies though. bc she thinks the over-the-top effects are so funny… either way im suffering bc im a scaredy cat LOL. but i feel like she’d like that too <33 (i would cry and she would comfort me by explaining how splattered brains ACTUALLY look and that would make me cry more)

AH ALSO … i have literally no idea where this came from and its not a movie but!! i think shoko would be unreasonably obsessed w the office. its her hyperfixation. we would binge it together all the time <33 my favorite is michael but she would compare him to gojo (objectively correct comparison) and i would no longer be able to see him the same way

and then for sugu…….. he’s so pretentious mickey. i just know he is. ONLY watches good movies. if u ask nicely he’ll watch a bad movie w u but will silently judge it + ur taste the whole time i hate him. (i dont.) idk i just feel like he has way too much to say abt fight club and the godfather PSBDJBF TELL ME U SEE THE VISION…. will lowkey mainsplain them to u but its sugu so i think its fine <33

but jokes aside i think sugu just has Good taste. beyond the mainstream toxic man movies (and even w those i think he has genuinely good and interesting takes he’s simply Perfect)… i feel like he has a wide selection of lesser known movies that are actually really really good and he shares them w u <3 and gatekeeps them from everyone else im thinking like old monochrome french movies w really interesting plots …. indie gems …. etc etc.

but as i said im not knowledgeable abt movies at ALL so i think id just have to trust his taste n watch them w him 😭😭 i cant decide if he’s the type to pause the movie every two minutes to explain something or give u side eye if u talk while its playing PDBDJDJ EITHER WAY… i love him.

OH BUT BUT BUT …. i think sugu would love mystery movies a lot!!! and they r my favorites ever ever ever. i love knives out & the 2009 sherlock holmes movies so i would force him to watch them w me. thankfully theyre super good so we’d both be happy :) yeah.

if u pay attention while reading u can tell the exact moment i started getting carried away i think PDBDJD THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION MICKEY ….. so fun to think abt. if u have any more thoughts on what u and gojo would watch PLS tell me i am itching to know 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[amourology]

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 | 𝗉𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗂𝖽𝗌

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | tasm!peter parker x fem!reader.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | swearing, sm*t, peter being an absolute simp for his gorgeous gf

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | when his girlfriend is away on a business trip, peter struggles to resist the urge to get himself off to some very detailed polaroid pictures they’ve collected over the years.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | my trust issues would never do the picture stuff in real life which sucks bc it sounds so hot — i guess that’s what fics are for then <3

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2.7k.

   At first, Peter felt disgusted. No matter how ethereal she looked during the moment, no matter how excruciatingly badly he wanted it on camera — he still felt disgusted with himself each time he took as much as a glance at the polaroid pictures whenever he found himself particularly lonely on a Friday night.

   Even now, he let himself hesitate and stare at the box sitting on his bed — never moving, just watching. Peter was very well aware of its contents, and he felt himself hardening at the thought of it. Within that box, so close to him, were all the things he’d been keeping wrapped up neatly in his mind.

   His gorgeous girlfriend with her pretty plump lips wrapped around him, looking up at him with big doe eyes and through the thick lashes that’d often tickle against his cheek as they kissed. His gorgeous girlfriend with his cum on her cheeks, a cheeky smile on her face as she looked at him and with one of his hands cupping her chin lovingly.

   His gorgeous girlfriend with tears down her cheeks and mascara dripping down to her chin as she took his thumb in her mouth. His gorgeous girlfriend taking his cock so well, with his hands firmly on her hips — a grip so tight it’d caused him to leave dark blue marks around the area the day after.

   “Shit,” he cursed. With a soft groan he looked down at the prominent bulge in his sweatpants.

   Y/N had been away from him for way too long by now. Of course, he was well aware that this business trip was very important for her - as the company may offer her a permanent position if it were to go well, and she’d been sick of that intern position for a while now.

   Peter was happy for her, he really and truly was. She’d worked so hard, and she’d deserved it tenfold. His cute girlfriend, working her way up into the world. It wasn’t possible for him to be any more proud.

   It didn’t make her being away for over two weeks (and counting) any easier, however.

   Of course, he could’ve gotten himself off with the good, old-fashioned porn. God knows, there’s plenty of stuff out there. It just…didn’t feel right to him. No matter how many times Y/N told him it’d be okay, he still didn’t feel like watching some other girl being fucked. He wanted to watch his girl being fucked. By him specifically.

   Y/N’d been gone for 16 days. Peter hadn’t had an orgasm for 16 days. The box full of polaroids had never looked so appealing.

   And yes, he knew he could just grab them whenever. And yes, he knew Y/N had allowed him to take those pictures for exactly this reason. It didn’t matter that, technically and logically, everything called for him to use them, because it still made him feel…dirty.

   No. No, no, he wasn’t gonna do it. He’d endure waiting a bit longer, it’s fine, whatever. He wasn’t going to use the picture to get off. Absolutely not.

   Determined to follow through with his thoughts, Peter pushed himself up from the ground with a soft groan. A soft groan that quickly turned into an almost whimper-like sound as he felt the fabric of his sweatpants brush over his cock a bit too vividly.

   Peter pursed his lips together and clenched his jaw, putting his knuckles against his lips as he glanced between the window of their bedroom and the enticing box on the duvet. Then, in one swift movement, he reached for the top of it and quickly discarded it towards some corner of the room.

   He paused. The pictures lay there, now completely exposed, and for a few seconds he can’t believe he’d actually gone ahead and opened it. Already, his mind had started yelling at him to close it again.

   With a shake of his head, and an almost unbearably aching feeling in his balls, all thoughts of protest disappeared.

   “Fuck it,” he mumbled, and grabbed a handful of the pictures before situatiating himself on the bed.

   Peter sat up against the headboard. The first picture he’d grabbed was instantly his favorite, as if his body instinctively managed to seek it out. A small smile appeared on his face as he saw it.

   “There you are,” he whispered as he stared at the photo.

   God, she truly was the most exquisite woman he’d ever been allowed to lay eyes on. With those cute innocent eyes and giddy smile, his hand around her throat and the downright filthy action of her licking his cum off of her index finger. Such a perfect mixture of sweetness and nastiness. Truly depicting the two outer ends of his girl’s entire spectrum.

   Peter let out a heavy sigh at the sight, and begrudgingly placed the polaroid down next to him if only so he could focus better on tugging the sweatpants and boxers further down his legs.

   The cold air hit his cock as soon as it sprung free, and Peter let out a soft hiss at the feeling. He positioned himself on the bed a bit better and let out a soft sigh. Then, he reached for the rest of the box and dumped its entire contents on their bed.

   “Alright, baby, let’s see what you’ve got for me,” he said to himself, eagerly reaching for another photo.

   A groan left his lips as he came face to face with the picture he’d thought about before. Her face decorated by his cum, an admiring look in her eyes as he held up her chin to look at him. Peter felt his breathing pick up at the sight.

   He found another picture right after, the one he was looking for at the moment. With her tongue flat against the tip of his cock, and her smaller hand wrapped tightly around his base. It was exactly what he needed to recall her movements, to make his own hand feel like hers.

   Peter gulped as his thumb carefully wiped over the tip, letting out a soft sigh in relief as he finally allowed himself to touch himself. Just as Y/N would do it, he started collecting the pre-cum around the tip, using the wetness it created to lessen the friction he felt.

   He wrapped his hand around himself fully, starting a slow pace of moving it up and down. His eyes stayed firmly glued onto the pictures, changing the one he was looking at ever so often while he kept working his hand up and down along his cock.

   Peter closed his eyes after a while, his head falling back against the headboard as soft moans tumbled past his lips. His hand sped up from around him, and he immediately went looking for another picture again — as the darkness was much less preferred over the depiction of her body.

   “Fuck,” he muttered again, shaking his head as a soft chuckle in disbelief left his mouth upon the chosen picture. Peter sometimes still wondered how he’d managed to have her as his girl.

   With the picture being one of her on all fours, her ass pushed tightly back against him so he’d be balls-deep inside — he couldn’t help but let his hips thrust upwards into his hand. It would never compare to her pussy, the warmth of her snug walls as she clenched so wonderfully around him, but it would have to do for now.

   Y/N was still miles and miles away, but damn it if he wasn’t going to give her the best homecoming in the history of homecomings. God, he missed her so much.

   Peter thrusted his hips up at a faster pace, line of sight focused on the picture in his hand as his imagination let him to believe the hand he was fucking into was actually hers. A whimper tumbled past his raw-bitten lips as he continued, a loud groan following shortly after.

   “God, look at you.” He let out a choked gasp. “Fucking yourself to my pictures like some litte whore,” A moan followed after. “You like this, don’t you? Does it make you feel like a teenager again, huddling around naughty magazines, scared your aunt would find them? Does the thrill of it make you feel excited?”

   “Mhm,” a strangled hum managed to interrupt his breathy moans and whimpers.

   A humorless chuckle was heard from towards the door. “Yeah, I bet it does.”

   “It does, I can’t…” Peter’s movements suddenly halted, and his eyes widened as they fell on the figure of his girlfriend. “Y/N! I—this isn’t, I—I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were going to be back this early, and, shit, this is so embarrassing I swe—”

   “Who said it was embarrassing?”

   “I—what?” He said softly, voice almost a whisper.

   Y/N smiled at him, and the look she carried in her eyes made his cock twitch the slightest bit. She walked towards him, and softly cupped his chin with one of her hands. The touch was brief and quite small, nonetheless it had Peter melting in her grasp. It’d been so long since she’d touched him, too long if you were to ask him.

   Which is why, when she pulled her hand back, a soft whimper left his lips. She smiled at the sound.

   “Look at you,” she cooed, and Peter frowned as she walked towards the desk. “So pretty.” He gave her a small, happy smile and watched as she pulled the chair backwards. “I missed you, baby.”

   “I missed you too,” he responded immediately.

   Y/N’s smile widened. “I can see that,” she said, and Peter felt his cheeks heatening up as she took a proper look at his uncovered body. Sitting on the chair, she nodded towards him. “Go on then, show me just how much.”

   “What?” He spoke carefully, eyes slightly widened.

   She tilted her head to the sight, allowing it to lean on the palm of her hand which she’d rested on top of the desk. “Well, you said you missed me, right?” He hastily nodded at her. “Then show me. You were doing so well before.”

   Once again, he felt himself heating up at the thought of her watching him from the doorframe. The little bit of dignity he still had, he wanted to keep, and so he decided against asking her for how long she’d been standing there.

   “Well?” Her voice brought him out of his thoughts. “Or do I have to leave again? Perhaps you haven’t missed me as much as I thought.”

   “No!” Peter said a bit too quickly, though he could feel the grip on his remaining dignity starting to falter. He watched her with big eyes. “I did miss you. A lot.”

   She didn’t move from her spot, and simply looked him in the eye. “Then show me.”

   “O—Okay,”

   It was harder for him now. He was painfully aware of the way she’d be looking at him, and although he felt the tiniest bit of shame at fucking his own hand in front of another — there was a larger part of him that felt intrigued, excited about doing an act that one would consider obscene right in front of her.

   From the look on her face, so did she.

   And so, Peter brought his hand back towards his cock. A shaky sigh passed his lips as he reveled in the satisfying feeling of a certain tightness around him. Slowly, he started moving his hand up and down. He’d purposely chosen a gentle pace, letting her decide when he could speed up.

   Y/N didn’t let him speed up any time soon. And so, he was left fucking into his hand at an insufferably slow speed. His thumb brushed over the tip, and it resulted in a strangled whimper.

   “Please, can I just…” He trailed off, looking over at her.

   Peter hadn’t bothered grabbing the pictures again since she’d returned. The real thing being that much more beautiful than a picture — a thought that got confirmed once again, as the look she’d given him was enough to have his stomach flutter.

   “Can you just what?” She asked, voice as smooth as butter. Y/N leaned forward on the chair just the slightest bit. “What is it you want, baby?”

   “I…” He hesitated as he looked her in the eye. Then, he decided his dignity wasn’t worth more than the release he so desperately needed. “Please, can I go faster? I need to…”

   “Need to what?” She echoed him again. “Do you need to cum? Is that you want?”

   Peter nodded feverishly, his hair getting messier and messier against the headboard. “I do, please, I do, need to cum,” he rushed out. His hand had started going even slower, as if he were scared he’d come prematurely, before she’d given her permission. “Please.”

   Y/N let her eyes roam about his figure. Peter didn’t doubt he looked like a mess right now. Though, from the way she was looking at him, one would have thought he could’ve been hung in the Louvre.

   “Go on then, sweet boy,” she said, and he let out a soft sound at the name. “Make yourself cum.”

   It was something she didn’t need to repeat. He finally allowed himself to speed up, to fuck into his hand harder and rougher than before, chasing after something this time around. Something he’d been craving for for 16 days now — all made a thousand times better by her presence.

   Moan after moan, whimper after whimper tumbled past his lips, lips that had started to get chapped from the way he bit down on them. Peter tightened his hold around his dick, and let out a choked gasp as he felt his orgasm getting closer and closer.

   “I—I’m gonna, I’m close—”

   “I know, baby,” she said, the love in her voice was one to envy. “Go on, cum for me.”

   With a few more pumps up and down, Peter came — his cum spilling out of him in thick ropes, dirtying his bare stomach as louder moans echoed through the room. He kept going for a few seconds, creating a bigger mess on himself as he went along. Only when it became sure that was it, did he let go of himself.

   Peter’s chest heaved upwards as he panted. Basking in the sweet aftermath of a much needed orgasm, he threw his head back against the headboard — his eyes closing as he took a few seconds of much needed rest.

   Only when he heard the sound of a picture being taken, did his eyes snap open.

   His girlfriend gave him an innocent look. “What?” She faked confusion, and smiled as she reached for the polaroid that was being released from the camera. Waving it around to quicken the drying process, she smirked at him. “I wanted to expand my collection, you looked simply too gorgeous not to sneak a picture of it.”

   A love-sick smile crawled onto his face. “I love you,” he mumbled, letting his head swing from the left to the right as he looked at her.

   Y/N’s smirk dialed down into a caring smile, and she stood up from the chair. After placing their camera and her new picture back on the desk, she started walking over to him.

   “I love you, too,” she said, and rested one of her hands on his cheek. She placed a delicate kiss on his forehead. “You were so good just now, baby,”

   Peter smiled up at her, leaning into her touch. However, a frown took over shortly after as she took her hand back and started to walk away from him. “Hey, hey, where are you going?” He asked, his bottom lip slightly puffed out as he reached for a couple of her fingers.

   “The shower, need to get the airport grime off of me,” she said, and caressed his cheekbone with her thumb. A small smirk started forming on her face, and she glanced down at his cum-covered stomach. “You’re free to join me for the clean up.”

   Y/N turned to walk away again, and this time Peter let her hand glide through his during her departure. He let out a happy sigh as he watched her walk away and into their bathroom. Hearing the shower getting turned on, he leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling with a smile.

  His gorgeous girlfriend was finally home.

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