#SO WE GO AGANE

[mirabai0821]

Confession? Go see a priest.

Pairings: Tav x Halsin x Astarion Rating: Gen Summary: One does not fault a rose for needing both earth and sun. Or Tav passess out after confessing her love to both elves.

“Well, that was dramatic.” Astarion tried to sound light but all the biting sarcasm he meant to deploy had been hollowed out of his words. She scraped all the artifice from him, leaving him without the shield of his dry humor. Now whatever was said had to sink into him, finally forcing him to deal with whatever emotions got stuck.

“Now Astarion,” strangely, though, the levity Astarion could not find had made its way to Halsin. Once again Tav had humbled him. Three hundred and fifty years of wisdom and experience but this fragile, short-lived little thing managed to teach him something wholly new. He felt so absurd it turned a corner into amusing. The smile Astarion could not muster would not leave Halsin’s face. “Surely you, of all people would think declarations of love should be dramatic?” 

“Fair point, I do love the theatricality of it all, right down to the timely faint.”

As Tav, slept, the elves sat in silence.

“Well?” Halsin asked.

“Well what?”

Halsin glared. 

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, you meant to ask, ‘Is there a way?’”

Halsin kept glaring. 

“Well, do you think there is? Why am I the one forced to come up with an answer? This better not be your way of designating me 'the one with all the answers' in this little triad of ours.”

Halsin chuffed, amused. "A simple 'yes' would've done."

"Oh darling, you're gonna learn quickly I am nothing simple."

"All the better then. I like a challenge."

Astarion waved an accusatory finger in Halsin's face.

“Don’t you get any ideas, you oaf. I can barely sort out my feelings for this one,” he thrust that finger back at Tav. “Much less my feelings for you.”

Halsin's added his eyebrows to his hairline. “And are there feelings?”

“Of course there are.” He began to list them off his fingers like a mother’s shopping list. “Jealousy, envy, spite, a not inconsiderable amount of lust, more jealousy and…”

Halsin winced, dreading the rest. 

“Appreciation. Friendship. Maybe even affection if you squint.”

Halsin blushed. “Astarion.”

“No, I mean it. You were there for her when I couldn’t be." The dry humor bled away again, honesty taking up its place. "I’m not…strong. Not like you or the others. I wanted her to protect me, but when she needed protection it was you that stepped in. I'll never forget that.”

“You are stronger than you look, little star. But should ever that strength fail you, look to me.”

It was Astarion’s turn to blush. “You’re not gonna confess now too are you? I can only handle one confessional per day. You’ll have to wait, or see a priest.”

“Like you, I’ll only confess to lust and affection…for now at least.” Halsin hummed thoughtfully, fixing a serious stare on the paler elf. “She loves you, Astarion. That alone would have been enough for me but it’s more than that. I don't care for you for love of her. I care for you for well... you.”

“You are confessing!” Astarion feigned a scandalized gasp.

“Maybe I am,” he relented. “But I think not yet. My heart hopes though, that we can figure that out together.”

At long last, after this whole whirlwind of a day, a grin as wide and deep as the Chionthar broke across the vampire’s face. It stretched so far it hurt. But it was the good pain though, the kind that’s good for the body. “Oh, how blessed am I to receive two lovers in a day where most only get one,” he preened, his words wholly and earnestly absent of even a hint of sarcasm. He meant what he said to Tav that day. She made him want everything. And now that included the elf on the other side of her. Starved for love, desperate for it, and now, in the span of minutes he had a surfeit of it. But with him, and his thirst, he could drink it all. And with them, he knew he'd never be thirsty again.

[selfmenticide]

• we're fading fast . i miss missing you now and then. . .

SELFMENTICIDE ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ private , selective , 18+ multimuse side blog ( featuring OC and canon muses ) . studying the art of self sacrifice on subjects such as : HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN , MICHAEL MELL , && DEAN WINCHESTER . •

[hanaasbananas]

on arranged marriages

it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.

mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.

but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.

i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.

too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.

they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!

of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.

time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...

i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.

then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?

and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!

hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1

anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)

but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo

[stormyoceans]

There's a comment on youtube which said along the lines, 'puen read tun's diary, he must've known about tun's unrequited love for tess, so by saying puen is gonna live tun's life to the fullest could also mean that he is indirectly fulfilling tun's wishes of been with tess too' how come this never crossed mind! Even though puentalay didn't explicitly state to others in that universe they had feelings for each other, pretty sure their friendgroups understood the signs. So to think when Tun comes back and find out that the people in their bodies had loved each other and were happy he must've felt a sort of happiness. Because even though tesstun's situationship related to the first switch between universes, their comeback had very little to do with each other. They switched back solely because of puentalay and them realising they are each other's portkeys. Thoughts monica?

MY THOUGHTS ARE THAT THIS SHOW NEEDS TO STOP BEING SO GOOD IT HAS LITERALLY RUINED ME FOR ANY OTHER SERIES LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON WHEN NOTHING EVEN COMES CLOSE TO IT AND INSTEAD OF GETTING TIRED OF REWATCHING IT I KEEP FINDING NEW DETAILS THAT MAKE ME GENUINELY FERAL AND IN DESPERATE NEED TO CHAIN MYSELF TO A FENCE LIKE A WEREWOLF DURING A FULL MOON ✋😭

honestly i’ve never thought about puen fulfilling tun’s wish of being with tess specifically (WHICH. SCREAMING BTW), but i did think a lot about puen and talay trying to live tun’s and tess’ life to the fullest and being able to achieve all of their dreams while doing so. it’s hard to say if this was necessary to make them switch back, because im convinced that ultimately that’s due to puen and talay learning the lesson the universe thought they needed, but it’s also not a coincidence that they were given those specific bodies to inhabit, so i feel like they wouldn’t have gotten to that lesson without living those lives to the best of their abilities

idk how to explain this in a quick and coherent way because i have way too many opinions about portkeys and fate and choices and identity, but. like, everyone agrees that talay and tess switching back to their respective universe is all thanks to talay’s efforts (because tess literally did NOTHING), but i’ve seen a lot of people wondering if puen and tun switching back is due to one or the other. to me it’s clearly due to puen, not only because it happens at the culmination of his character’s journey (accepting himself and being finally ready to tell his name to talay), but also because tun, while obviously not ruining puen’s life LIKE SOMEONE ELSE DID WITH TALAY’S [SIDE EYES TESS], did not make it better either. when he comes back, puen is still alone. when he goes back, tun has achieved his dream of becoming a famous screenwriter and is in a relationship with tess. by using a stratagem like the travelling between universe, i think the show actually did a great job in showing the different attitudes someone may have towards life, not just your own, but other people’s too: you can live selfishly (tess), you can just survive (tun), or you can live life as best as you can (puen and talay). this is also why i get very annoyed when people watch vice versa and say stuff like ‘the concept was interesting but why they were making a movie rather than explore the fantasy part’, because THE FANTASY PART IS NOT THE POINT!!!!!!!! THE POINT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO WITH THE LIFE AND THE TIME YOU’RE GIVEN!!!!!!!!! THAT’S THE MESSAGE OF THE SHOW AND THE GENERAL LESSON THEY ALL HAD TO LEARN BUT THAT ONLY PUEN AND TALAY REALLY UNDERSTOOD!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. not sure where i was going with this or if this makes sense but yeah i have way too many thoughts about this and all of them boils down to VICE VERSA SERIES OF ALL TIME PUEN AND TALAY CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME PUENTALAY RELATIONSHIP OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hiya! is there nay chance you could write a smutty Nate Archibald one shot pls. feel free to do whatever and take your time. thanks.

ofc! (I wrote this to be gn since you didn't specify) hope you like it <3

First Time (Nate Archibald x gn reader)

Warnings: SMUT, penetrative sex (obviously it's not specified whether it's vaginal or anal since the reader's gn), condoms aren't mentioned being used but I think it should go without saying to wrap it before you tap it, virgin reader/reader's first time, Nate is literally so sweet here

"There we go, baby, that's it." Nate's voice was but a mere whisper in your ear as he slowly sunk inside you, his lips moving to leave hot kisses that trailed from your neck down to your shoulders.

It was your first time, and he was being oh so careful with you, not wanting you to accidentally get hurt. He was the only boyfriend you'd ever had who cared so much about you. All of your other ones were either pissed that you didn't "give it up" so easily or got way too excited over the prospect of you being a virgin. None of them cared about you the way that he did.

He was so patient with you, letting you take things at your own pace and always backing off if he felt like he was going too far. Not once did he ever pressure you or try to make you feel as if you had to have sex with him in order to make him happy, because your feelings were much more of a priority in his eyes. He was the perfect guy if there ever was one.

"Mm..." You let out a strangled whimper, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried to get used to the almost unbearable feeling of being so full. Nothing had ever made you feel so overwhelmed before, in the best way possible. It was hard for you to envision ever being able to pleasure yourself properly again after this.

"Let me know when you want me to move, okay?" He murmured gently, his hands planted firmly on your hips as he spoke. God, he wanted to move. He wanted to move so badly, wanted to hear your moans, wanted to see you come undone underneath him.

But for as much of a whore as he may have been (class whore, to be exact) Nate Archibald was nothing if not a gentleman. He didn't want to rush you. It wouldn't be right, especially with it being your first time. So he waited.

He waited until he saw your eyes open agan, staring up at him with a gaze full of the utmost need while nodding your head, breathing out a soft "I'm ready" to give him the go ahead.

He waited until he saw your eyes open agan, staring up at him with a gaze full of the utmost need while nodding your head, breathing out a soft "I'm ready" to give him the go ahead.

That was all he needed, his hips slow and deliberate as they began to carefully rock into yours. He wasn't quite sure how sensitive you were yet, so he didn't know how much or how little would end up overwhelming you, and he definitely didn't want to take the risk of this being a bad experience.

After all, his own virginity was lost to his then-girlfriend's best friend on the counter of a bar, so he was desperate to make this right for you. (It wasn't his worst memory, but he certainly wasn't proud of it happening.)

"You're so big," you muttered without thinking as you felt his cock move inside you, pulling out some before pushing back in deeper than before, that same action repeated over and over again like a perfect rhythm.

He let out a chuckle at your words, giving your hips a playful squeeze in response. "I think you're just saying that because your fingers are so damn small and could never reach the places that I can," he lightly teased, nuzzling against the side of your neck before pressing a kiss to the pulse point in that area.

You gasped at the kiss he left behind before giggling a little, your arms wrapping around his neck so you could pull him in closer. "You're such a tease," you accused with no real malice before giving him a kiss yourself, one that was tender and sweet and showcased your love for him perfectly.

It was hard for him not to melt completely at the action as he could feel himself starting to fall deeper and deeper in love with you. No one had ever made him feel this way before, not Blair, not Serena, not Jenny, and certainly not Vanessa of all people. You were different to him. As cheesy as it sounded, you were special.

One of his hands moved from your hips to grip tightly on the headboard above you as he tried his hardest to restrain himself. Part of him wanted to be rough, to leave bruises and hickeys and marks so everyone would know that you were his and his alone, and so that you yourself would be reminded of the fact every time you dared to look into a mirror.

"You can be a bit rougher if you want."

Your softly spoken words brought him out of his head and back into reality, his baby blue eyes staring down into yours as he processed what you'd said. "Are you sure?" His thumb gently rubbed your hipbone from where his other hand still rested on you, looking a bit apprehensive at the idea of getting rough. "This is your first time, after all."

"I know it is, but I don't care."

A low groan escaped him when he felt your hips thrust upwards, trying to match his movements with some of your own. His hand on the headboard gripped it tighter, so tight that his knuckles were starting to pale. "If that's what you want. But I want you to promise to let me know the second I get too rough, okay? I don't want to hurt you."

Nodding your head, you looked up at him with a gaze full of affection and love. "I trust you to be careful," you replied in a tone that was filled to the brim with admiration, and he could tell you really meant that.

He dipped his head down to give you another kiss, the hand that was on your hip moving up to cup your face. "Okay, baby. If that's what you want." Tentatively, he quickened his pace, though he was sure to keep an eye on you the whole time to ensure you were okay with it.

Judging from the way your back arched and your nails dug into his shoulder blades, he was quite certain you seemed to be enjoying yourself. "Oh my God, Nate- God, yes, just like that-"

The pure desperation in your voice spurned him on, making him even more eager to please. He found himself grateful he didn't have any neighbors, because between your moans, his grunts, and the way the bed was starting to loudly slam into the wall it was making quite a racket. Both of you had a good amount of marks on you by the time you were finished, bright red scratches going down his back from your nails and dark purple hickeys covering your neck from his mouth.

You'd fully expected him to just collapse on top of you before rolling over and calling it a night like most guys were commonly known to do, but he actually took the time you help clean you off and get you dressed again, even going so far as to get you a glass of water. Men like him were truly one in a million, you were sure.

"You okay?" He gently asked after wrapping you up in the blankets, allowing you to cuddle up next to him as you got comfortable.

A content sigh escaped from you as you rested your head against his shoulder. It was really a no brainer that when it came to choosing who to give your virginity to you definitely made the right choice. "I'm more than okay. I'm perfect."

End notes: ironically enough in reference to the title this was my first time writing for nate so I hope I did well <3

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[kill4luvina]

"Face down, Ass up"

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

Producer!Erenx Rapper!Reader

Summary : Eren is your one and only producer and you both seem to be having a creativity block while out on a trip looking for creativity and Eren has the bright idea that you two should fuck it out.

Warning : Smut, Reader using N-word, Alcohol, not proofread, (might be more but im not sure).

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

"I'll treat any bitch like a whore, Cause it's the way I like to fuck, It's face down and ass up"

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

"Eren.." You'd say in attempt to wake him up from his short nap he had taken in the uber. Tapping him a few times as she groaned opening his eyes. "Nigga wake up!" You'd raise your voice getting out of the uber as he followed behind you tired. Putting into the pin into the Air Bnb door as your entered turning the lights on making eren groan again. "I don't know why you being like that, you've been sleep in there for the past hour." you'd roll your eyes annoyed as you went into the kitchen.

You both had been out all morning and nothing sparked your creativity, you wanted to write but you litterally had no ideas. Grabbing one of you're left over bottles of 'Diva Vodka' from earlier you slip off your black leather rick owens sneakers tossing them to the side before pouring yourself a cup. "Why you been so stressed?" Eren would ask walking up with his own glass cup as you poured him some too.

"Bro, We've been here for bout' I wanna say a week and I haven't written anything yet!" You'd rant starting to chug down your drink as he watched you in shock. "You gotta chill-" you'd look at him before putting the bottle away as you made your way up to your room. Once agan Eren would follow you bringing the shoes you had left up with him. Making it to your room he'd put them with the rest of your shoes.

"Yk, I got an idea on how we could maybe get rid of that art block..." He'd say on the edge of your bed looking down at his glass cup, noticing you get slightly excited he turn around a gave you a kiss catching you completely off guard. You had him had has sex a few times so he knew you were alright with it as soon as you started kissing back.

"REN WAIT!!" You'd moan feeling him full enter you at once, holding onto your pillow tightly at the feeling of him completely stretching you out. Tears welling up in your eyes as he kept your ass up leaving you in a perfect arch as he slowly started moving completely demolishing your pussy as your cried out trying to run. It was just too good, and your were struggling to handle it. Eye's rolling back with your tongue out drooling at the feeling of him drilling ya' shit holding you down in that position.

"You like that ma?" He'd ask holding you by your neck bringing you up as he place kisses in the crook of your neck as you cried not even know what was going on anymore, or who you were. "FUCK!" You'd moan even louder feeling him hit your g-spot over and over completely abusing it. The way he was fucking you had you imaging maybe getting married to this nigga if dick would always be this good. "Cmon mama, tell me how good I'm doing or I'll stop." He'd whisper in your right ear leaving kisses behind it as you whimpered shivering from the contact in the sensitive spot.

"Ren! Y-Your doing so well! Fuckkkk- fuck me jus' like that!" you'd continue to babble and moan crying feeling like you were on the edge not wanting him to stop. It was completely game over the moment you felt his fingers touch your clit, throwing you off the edge as you came, creaming all over his dick. Twitching and crying as you felt him keep going overstimulating you like never before. "Too much!" You'd moan throwing your head back on him as he quickly pushed your head back down fucking you even harder.

Feeling him start to twitch in you was the sign he was about to cum, but so were you. Again. Crying loudly into the pillow as you felt yourself completely fall off the edge again you'd feel a warm liquid leave your body, as you squirted all over eren dick as he pulled out cumming on your ass. "Damn, since when could she do this?" Eren would ask chuckling as he gave your pussy a kiss before tappin that ass one more time and walking to the bathroom to run you a bath and clean you up.

"Omg! I have a great idea!" You'd mumble to yourself, but to your suprise eren heard. "See, I told you it would help!" He'd say from the bathroom making you giggle as you fell asleep after telling yourself you'd just quickly rest your eyes.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

[daydreams-after-dark]

Back in Ten, baby

Pairing: CEO dom!leaning Jisung x sub!leaning fem reader // established relationship

Scenario: Han instructs you to wear a strap-on and peg him in the hotel after his important business function.

Word Count: 4K approx

MDNI // SMUT - LOTS OF SMUT Content warnings below the cut

CW: oral sex (both rec), pegging - anal sex with strap on dildo (m rec), collar leash, name calling (slut, cockslut, baby, angel), praise, choking, cum eating, squirting, aftercare, an obsession with Jisung’s ass, feeling up in a semi public place (kind of, but not really), indecency in front of a hotel window

A/N: Just a word of warning. I was unhinged when I wrote this. If you are not into anal play, this isn’t for you because Jisung loves his ass to be played with and y/n is in love with Jisung’s ass. It’s a match made in heaven.

Also... This story was originally posted on my main blog... but because it's a little more flavoursome, I think it belongs over here.

This story was born out of an ongoing discussion with @noellllslut where we both wondered what it might be like if Jisung wanted to be pegged but he wasn’t our subby, needy baby.

This is my version of what it could look like.

Thank you @noellllslut for letting me run some things by you and also getting me worked up and feral thinking about him in this way. I hope I did this story justice.

“You did so good tonight, Jisung. I’m proud of you.” You kissed your CEO boyfriend on the cheek, as the elevator doors closed once again after letting the last person out of the lift, leaving the two of you alone. Finally.

You’d spent the last four hours at his side while he worked the room and mingled with the investors. Now he was wrapping his arms around your waist and pushing you against the mirrored wall of the elevator. Only five more floors to go until you reached the top floor of your shared suite.

“Mister Han!” You exclaimed. “What is that pressing against me? Don’t tell me you’re going to ruin me in a hotel lift?” You leaned into his ear “They have cameras you know?” You whispered. 

Jisung grinned against your neck. “I know.” He answered and slid his hand under your dress and tugged your panties aside. 

“Baby!” You protested and pretended you wanted him to stop.

“That’s Sir to you.” He growled as removed his fingers as the elevator bell dinged indicating you had reached your floor.

“Shit, baby. I just remembered. I need to go back downstairs, I forgot something. You go ahead babe. I’ll only be ten minutes.”

He smacked you affectionately on the ass as you stepped out of the elevator.

“Yes Sir.” You replied suspiciously and smiled to yourself as you made your way to your shared room.

The hotel suite wasn’t the biggest, but it was luxurious with a large, plush bed, couch, widescreen television and a generous bathroom off to the right. A large mahogany desk stood at the far end of the room with a backdrop of floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the city. The view was breathtaking, but your eyes were drawn to something else.

A red box in the middle of the bed. A gift? You sat on the mattress and lifted the lid. Inside was a pile of red tissue paper with a note on top. 

They were instructions. 

“Be a good girl and wear these for me. Be ready in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes. The exact number of minutes Jisung said he’d be before returning to the room.

Cheeky shit.

You peeled open the tissue paper to reveal what exactly it was you were meant to wear and your eyes widened: a strap-on dildo, red collar, and chain leash. 

Lifting the strap-on out of the box and inspecting it, you realised it was massive. Much, much bigger than any of the plugs and dildos he’d gotten you to use on him previously. You’d certainly never used one this big on him, and you’d never used a strap-on before.

You reached back into the box agan and retrieved the thick red leather collar and accompanying leash.

You only had ten minutes to be ready. You took a deep breath, and prepared yourself mentally for how your night was going to unfold, and took your supplies to the bathroom where the lighting was better and you could see what you were doing.

Most of your ten minutes was spent trying to get the strap-on to fit just right. The dildo looked even more alarming in size than you first thought. At a guess it was 8 inches long, but the girth? How he was going to take that up his ass you weren’t entirely sure. But he chose it so he must be confident. Right?

Next, you fastened the collar around your neck and attached the chain, and finally studied yourself in the full length mirror in the corner of the bathroom. 

It felt like such a juxtaposition really. The idea of wearing a strap-on conjured up the idea of the wearer being in charge, dominating a submissive lover, making a needy man or woman desperately beg for his or her hole to be fucked. But the collar and leash around your neck was a stark reminder that you weren’t in control tonight. Your role was to please Jisung, Sir Han, and tonight it seemed Sir Han wanted you to do all the hard work, while he sat back and relaxed.

You considered whether or not to put on a sexy bra and sheer stay ups, but it wasn’t on your instructions, so you decided to simply fix your hair and make up.  

Looking down at your fake cock, you wrapped your fingers around the girth, you couldn’t even get your fingers around it, and pumped it a few times like you always saw Jisung do before he’d push it into your cunt. You imagined pushing it into his tight hole. The way it was going to stretch him open and disappear inside of him. The thought alone had you wet. You were ready.

“Alright,” you said to yourself. “Let’s go fuck your man.”

“So fucking slutty.” a deep voice resonated through the hotel suite when you stepped back into the dimly lit space. You were momentarily startled to find Jisung had already come back into the room and was sat behind his desk. Behind him the full length windows overlooking the city magnified the power he radiated as a CEO. 

“Come.” He gestured for you to come around to his side of the desk, turning his chair towards you and reaching out for your hands as you came to stand in front of him. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked drinking you in.

“Nervous.” You whispered. Jisung smiled at your admission.

“That’s okay, my sweet angel.” He squeezed your hands. “All you have to do is follow what I say.” He reached up to play with the chain of the leash. You felt a heat rise through you at the possibilities of what he could ask of you. 

He let go of your leash letting it drop against your bare skin and slid a hand under his desk to retrieve a round footstool. 

“Sit.” He patted the cushioned top. You did as he asked and sat yourself down on the low seat between his spread legs.

He leaned back in his chair and you blinked up at him with expectant eyes. The corners of his mouth curled upwards into a smirk and he dropped his gaze to your strap-on, and bit his lip hungrily. Maybe he was needy after all?

“Undress me.” He said low, his voice laced with desire.

You moved slowly, placing a hand on each of his knees and running them up his thighs, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath his trousers. You ghosted your hands over his crotch, you could see he was hard under there, before sliding them up his stomach and chest, all the way to rest on the top button of his shirt. He’d already lost his jacket and tie somewhere along the way, so you didn’t have too much to take off. 

You took your time undoing one button at a time and slowly exposing his chest. Your eyes flickered up to meet his. The way he was looking at you made you flustered and your fingers faltered for a moment.

“You really are nervous, aren’t you baby?” He whispered, while you persevered with his shirt. 

Next, your fingers found his belt buckle and you undid his trousers, allowing you to untuck his shirt and push it off his shoulders and removing it entirely from his body. He didn’t take his hazy eyes off you as he watched you explore his toned chest with your fingertips, eventually trailing them down past his belly button and into the waistband of his trousers. He didn’t need to be asked to lift up while you pulled his pants and underwear from him.

He was truly a marvel to look at. Fully naked in all his glory, the city night lights and moonlight illuminating his skin in the prettiest way. And his cock. So hard. So thick. So irresistible. Sitting there untouched against his hard abdomen.

You could barely wait for your next instruction, and If you actually had a real cock yourself, it’d be throbbing for him and leaking at the tip, just like your cunt ached and was moistening by the second.

Jisung reached out to lazily squeeze one of your breasts making your skin tingle. Your nipple hardened when he rubbed circles over it with the pad of his thumb, and then he grasped onto the leash dangling from your neck. Wordlessly, he tugged on the chain, gently forcing your head down near his cock. Gripping his length with his other hand he rubbed the tip along your bottom lip.

“Open up baby. Suck on it for me.” he wound the leash around his hand and reached up to hold onto the back of your head and pushed you down over his length. It was absolutely fucking delicious and you couldn’t hide how much it pleased you to have him in your mouth.

“That’s it baby. I know you love it, don’t you? My little cockslut. So precious.” he praised as you purred around his dick.

“Let’s see if we can get it all the wa-” his words were cut short as you sunk down entirely onto him until your nose was nestled against his wispy pubic hair. “Oh yes… just like that. Taking me so well.” 

He held you in place so you couldn’t move then pinched your nose closed. “That’s it. Let’s get those eyes watering.” He let go just long enough to let you catch your breath and then pushed you back down and held your nose closed. You felt the head of his cock lodged in the back of your throat while he held you down, cutting off your air supply until your head felt light and fuzzy. Again, he released you and let the air fill your lungs before repeating the same thing two more times. 

Jisung knew you loved it when he did this. He knew how wet you got from it. You had practiced and experimented plenty enough that he knew exactly the number of seconds he could choke you with his cock before it was too much for you. Plus you had your “two taps on the thigh” signal if needed. 

Jisung released you, and while you bobbed up and down his cock, reached over the side of his chair to pull a lever that allowed the backrest to recline 45 degrees. “Baby. You know what you need to do now.” he tapped you on the head with a bottle of lube.

Drunk with lust, you growled in protest as he pulled your mouth off his cock entirely so he could hook a hand underneath his thighs to pull his legs up so he was almost folded in half. His cock, balls and tight little asshole were on display for you, perfect for your next task.

But before you even opened the lube, you couldn’t resist holding onto the base of his cock and leaning down to take his balls in your mouth. He groaned in pleasure as you sucked them in and rolled them around in your warm wet mouth and then hummed around them for good measure.

You released them with a pop, and moved your attention lower. Pressing a palm on each of his cheeks to get him as wide as possible and spat directly onto his hole.

“Fuck!” Jisung hissed when the saliva made contact. You dove in and pressed your tongue against his asshole. Again, Jisung cursed trying to remain calm. You licked around the tight ring of muscle several times, then took your attention back up to his balls, taking them into your mouth again, before coming back down to his hole. You pressed against it with the tip of your tongue until it breached the muscle, making Jisung keen, and then withdrew it. You took your time, giving your attention to all his sensitive parts, including taking his cock back into your mouth every now and then.  

You made everything so wet and slippery with your saliva that you hadn’t even opened the bottle of lube when you slipped your middle finger inside him. Jisung groaned in approval at the intrusion.

“Does that feel good, Sir?” you looked up to see his expression dark and aroused. 

“Fuck yes… another finger. Stretch me out baby…Quickly. Fuck, baby. You’re so dirty with your fingers up my ass?”

You smirked, and took his balls into your mouth while at the same inserted another finger. “Ahhh…yes… fuck me with your fingers. Such a good fucking girl.”

You continued to loosen him up, building up to three fingers, and fucking him with your digits until you felt yourself being jerked up by the leash. Jisung pulled over him so he could kiss you. Your fingers were still lodged inside of him while he invaded your mouth with his tongue and moaned against your teeth.

”Okay, baby.” He peeled his mouth away and looked up at you. “It’s time for you to show me what you can do with that cock of yours.” He reached down and tugged on it like it was an actual dick. “Okay, up.” He tapped you on the ass.

You felt your cheeks redden when you removed your fingers with a loud squelch and placed them inside your mouth sucking them clean. Jisung hummed in approval and stood from his chair pulling up with him. He was all over you in an instant. He held your body against his and you could feel the heat radiating from his dick as it pressed against your stomach beside your fake one. He kissed you long and deep, and it made your knees go weak. How after all this time with him you still swooned you didn’t know. But you loved the giddy feeling.

Your core ached for him, and all you wanted was for him to bend you over the desk and fuck you brutally. But instead it was Jisung who bent over the desk, exposing the two perfect orbs that were his ass, to the world outside the window. He rested himself on his elbows, curving his back and creating an alluring silhouette with his ass poking off the edge just enough to let his cock hang down between his legs and the edge of the desk.

“Get behind me. Baby, listen carefully. I need you to fuck me properly, do you understand?”

You took your place behind him, letting your hands roam over his ass cheeks. So tantalising. “Fuck, Sir. Your’e so perfect.” You adored Jisung with all your being. You stroked his back tenderly and then squeezed his ass cheek, even bending down and taking a gentle bite of the flesh. 

“Fuck, I didn’t say you could tease me.” hissed Jisung. You stood back up and slapped him on the ass. “Sorry Sir, you’re just too delectable” was your reply, and you took the dildo, your “cock”, at the base with one hand and with your other you poured a generous amount of lube onto the tip and smeared it all over the shaft. 

“Is this okay, Sir?” You inquired as you ran the tip between his cheeks back and forth over his quivering hole. 

“Fuck, yes.” He hissed and pushed back onto the dildo. You watched as the ring of muscle expanded and sucked the thick tip inside. You stayed completely still as Jisung let out a relieving groan. “More, baby. Give it all to me.”

You pushed this time, watching more of the toy slip inside. When he’d adjusted you pushed again with your eyes glued to where the massive dildo was lodged halfway in his ass. Yes, you’d fucked him with dildos before, and yes you’d fingered him too, but this simulation of you actually penetrating him as though this dildo was an actual appendage of yours, took this experience to a whole new level.

It looked obscene watching your hips push more and more of the dildo into your boyfriend’s ass, splitting him in two. You used your hands to knead the flesh of his cheeks, helping him relax and stretch, until you had bottomed out and his ass cheeks were flush against your pelvis. This position felt so intimate and you wondered if this was how it felt for Jisung when he fucked you from behind?

Jisung dropped his forehead to the desk between where his forearms rested and began to grind back on you, moaning low. It was mesmerising.

”Baby,” he puffed “It seems im doing all the work here. I thought I told you to fuck me?” he growled.

You snapped out of your trance and went to work. You grasped onto both his ass cheeks, spreading them wide to give you ultimate access, and pulled the dildo halfway out and then slowly pushed it back in to the hilt. You immediately withdrew again and pushed back deep inside. Jisung cried out on the impact. Your hands moved to hold onto his hips so that on the next thrust you could guide him back to meet your pelvis in a powerful smack. 

You knew what it felt like to get your holes fucked and you allowed yourself to imagine what this was feeling like for Jisung. It felt incredible having a cock stretch your holes open and drag against your inner walls. You knew how incredible it felt when your Jisung reached the deepest parts of your soul, or the way it felt when you were being used as nothing but a cock sleeve. 

All these thoughts had your cunt gushing and you picked up the pace, slamming yourself into Jisung over and over. The sound of his ass and balls slapping against you on each snap of your hips resonated throughout the room. His leaking cock repeatedly swang back and hit your thigh.

Jisung propped a leg up on the desk. “Fuck me harder, deeper. Show me how bad you want it. Show me how bad you wish you had a real cock.” He demanded.

This new position meant you could thrust even deeper and at an angle that was becoming impossibly too much for Jisung. He was starting to lose composure and his noises were becoming more like whimpers. He was losing the upper hand. He was losing control. You could tell he was so very close to cumming.

”Pull out. Baby. Stop for me.” He panted and started to stand up and push you off him. Part of you wanted to ignore him and push him back down flush against the table and pound into him until he exploded all over the floor, But you listened to your lover regardless. What if he was sore? 

Jisung turned around and cupped your cheek and ran his thumb along your lip. He looked at you with fucked out eyes and an expression that could kill. He must’ve been close and didn’t want it to be finished, you concluded.

“Now my sweet angel.” He tugged at your lip forcing it open and shoving his thumb inside. It took all your self control not to let your eyes roll back into your head.

”On your hands and knees.” You immediately dropped to the floor and Jisung held onto your leash. “Now follow me.” He instructed, leading you away from the desk towards the bed with you crawling behind him like an obedient dog. He picked you up and threw you on the bed, climbing on top of you immediately. 

“So fucking beautiful.” He said kissing your neck and fondling your tits. “Beautiful. So perfect.” He praised you as he made his way down to where the dildo was strapped to you. You thought maybe he was going to take it off. Maybe he was ready to fill you with his cock and come deep inside your pussy. Or maybe your ass? Maybe it was his turn to fuck your ass? Oh your body ached to be touched. Your cunt needed to be filled. You knew you’d be so fucking wet that he’d slide right on in with no resistance.

But Jisung didn’t remove the strap-on. He sunk his mouth over it instead. “Now who’s a cockslut.” You said. Jisung’s eyes sprang open and you knew you’d pushed his buttons. But you didn’t care. Sometimes this is how you two played.

He was on top of you again in a heartbeat, caging you in, staring into your eyes. “Takes one to know one.’ He replied and raised an eyebrow. Then a hand came to rest at your collar. Please choke me. You thought to yourself. 

“Cocksluts shouldn’t be bratty otherwise they might miss out on the thing they love most.” He teased. “I think the best thing I can do is demonstrate what’s expected of a good little cockslut.” 

He carefully removed your collar and to your surprise secured it around his own neck. Then he hovered over your dildo, grabbing it with one hand as he lowered himself down over the entire length, impaling himself on your fake cock. His eyes rolled back into his head as his body adjusted. It was the most exquisite thing you’d ever seen Jisung do. He leaned back and rested his hands behind him next to your legs and began to lift up and sink back down over the dildo. He built up the pace and intensity of the thrusts, eventually planting his feet down beside you and using his legs as leverage to really slide up and down and fuck himself incredibly hard. 

You could see absolutely everything from this angle. His thigh muscles working hard. The thick dildo appearing and disappearing into his ass. Heavy cum-filled balls bouncing up and down. His painfully engorged erection hitting his taut abs on every thrust. The way his stomach muscles contracted. His hardened nipples. The veins in his neck straining from under the collar. His tongue hanging from his mouth. His eyes squeezing tight in pleasure-pain. The beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. You could see all of this from your position on the bed underneath him. 

“I love you Jisung.” You couldn’t keep it contained. He just looked too beautiful.

He opened his eyes and smiled at you. “I love you too. Look what you’ve done to me, I’m so fucking close, baby.” He choked. 

You took that as your cue to grasp your fingers around his cock and start pumping it. 

“I’m gonna cum. Be a good girl and catch as much as you can, okay.” 

You aimed his cock towards you as he came, spurting ropes of come towards your open mouth. You tried to catch as much as you possibly could on your tongue, the rest landing across your face, chin and tits. 

Jisung lifted off the dildo and flopped on the bed to catch his breath, then he removed the collar and the strap-on and used the tip of the dildo to scoop us as much cum as he could from your chest and face. “Open up baby.” He whispered and pushed the dildo into your mouth. “Good baby. Good girl. Lick that clean now.” He encouraged. “That’s it.” He removed it from your mouth and tossed it to the side along with the collar and leash.

“Now let’s see how wet you are after this” he shuffled down between your legs and pried them open as far as they would go. “Dripping wet.” He observed. You barely had a moment to prepare when his face was buried between your legs, his tongue eagerly lapping at your neglected holes. You arched your back off the bed and cried out your Jisung’s name when he easily slipped three fingers into your cunt in one go. It only took half a dozen thrusts of his digits against your sweet spot, and a couple of suckles of your clit and you were exploding all over him. Everything had tensed up so tight, that when your release hit you you squirted all over his face.

“Yes… yes baby make a fucking mess for me. That’s my girl.” He praised and proceeded to lick up as much of your juices as possible.

You were both such a sticky, sweaty, fluid-covered mess, yet you both couldn’t stop kissing each other. Tongues were deep in each other’s mouths. Your bodies were still grinding together until Jisung found himself hard again.

He fucked you slow and deep, professing his love to you and coaxing another orgasm for your body while he came deep inside you. 

Eventually he ran a bath and carried you in where you both cleaned each other up, before playfully bickering about who was going to call room service to change the sheets.

If you enjoyed this story and want to read my short scenario where reader comes home to find Ji pleasuring himself with her dildo, you can find that here.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @kangnina @weareapackofstrays @queen-in-the-shadows @queenmea604 @newhope8 @minnieprincess77 @itshannjisung you have all been tagged in the original but would super appreciate if you like and share this one too.

[fandomtherapy44]

Coffee Meet-Ups Sam Winchester x Fem! Reader One Shot!

summary: Y/n needs a tutor, and Sam is happy to help.

Warnings: A little bit of cussing, kissing

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WC: 1,434

AN: Hey Ya'll, I thought I would do a fluff fic for our boy Sam Winchester, I've done fics for Cas and Dean, so I thought it was time for Sam. I also just put out a Dean Fic with smut if you're interested, I hope you guys enjoy!

The air is crisp and cool leaves are falling down, the sky is full of orange and brown. I could see my breath make puffs like I was smoking. People in Harvard sweaters were walking to their classes. A slight hint of cinnamon and apple drafting through the atmosphere really gives you the Fall feel. A real Gilmore Girls picture. Too bad I didn’t have the time to enjoy it. I am currently running to make it to my tutor meeting on time. 

“Excuse me!” I said rushing in between and out of people making it look like I was crazy.

I finally made it to the on-campus coffee shop. And there is my tutor looking very disappointed while looking at his watch and then at me like a mother would if you missed curfew.

“Hey, Steve I am so ready to learn all about the integration of advanced criminal law.” I try to soften everything with a smile. 

“Great, my suggestion is to sit down and open the book I’ll see you around.” He walks past me and I grab his arm.

“Wait Steve, please I will fail this class without you.” I pleaded almost begging.

“Y/n you are smart but you don’t imply yourself enough and I don’t have the time to do it for you, good luck.” With that, he turns and walks out letting the cold hit me with the realization that I no longer had the very expensive tutor that my parents were paying for. I sighed deeply racking my brain about what I was going to do and turned and ran into someone and something hot.

“Ah fuck! Shit holy that fucking-” I looked up and I saw one of the cutest guys I had ever seen. And suddenly my burn from the coffee didn’t seem so bad anymore.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry, here sit down I'll bring napkins.” he leads me to a chair very carefully. He brings napkins with cold water on them. “Agan I am very sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going and I-” He stops and does the same thing I did. 

“I’m babbling and this is the the first thing I should have asked, are you okay?” His eyes peer into mine and they are a deep chocolate brown.

“Yeah, I'm okay nothing like a mini heart attack to start the day.” I joke to lighten the mood.

“Definitely, I’m Sam.” He brings out his hand to shake. I take it and he has a nice firm handshake. 

“Y/n, so where were you going with such hot coffee so early?”

“Just classes.” 

I then see the books he’s carrying.

“So law huh? Same here.” He looks kind of shocked at that.

“Really what made you want to do law?” He asks now intrigued.

“I want to… make a difference really fight for the people who can’t fight for themselves, basic I know.” I picked at my fingernails to try to distract myself from my own self-deprecation.

“No no, I like that, a lot of people become lawyers for the wrong reasons.”

“Well, it's not like I'll even be able to come one.” 

“Why?” He asked with true wonder for some reason about a stranger.

“I am totally failing my classes that’s why I was actually here I was meeting my tutor but I screwed that up too.” 

Sam then gets an idea.

“How about I tutor you.” He says with complete seriousness.

“What no I couldn't ask you to do that Sam, I'm sure you're super busy.” I blinked my eyes not believing the offer.

“Well you're not asking I’m offering, it can be me making it up to you for spilling coffee on you so what do you say?” I look at him and his sincerity in his eyes and for some reason I believe him which is weird for a guy I barely know.

“Okay, you are on Sam.” We shake on it.

I am actually early for once to a tutor meeting. Books open, coffee ready. I didn't want to waste Sam’s time. He walks in looking cute without even trying he’s in some jeans and a brown sweatshirt matching his hair. 

“Hey, you ready?” He sat down and pulled out his book.

“Yes teach!” I pulled out my pencil and was ready. 

“Ok good.” He chuckles at enthusiasm. “So let’s start with chapter fifteen…”

About two hours later I had been taught and understood more about law than I had from my tutors and teacher. 

“Wow, Sam, I think you're the best I've ever had.” I blush at what I just said and try to quickly backpedal. “I mean I the best tutor I mean.” I mentally slap my forehead.

“Thank you and you are welcome. And you are the best student I've had.” He smiles at my clumsy put together complement.

“No way I mean I got like ten questions wrong.” I was flattered but a little shocked at that.

“Yeah I mean I don’t usually tutor and you actually want to learn unlike some people here.” 

“You don’t usually tutor then why me?” I asked hoping that it wasn't pity.

“I saw you're potential and thought you deserved a chance too.” 

I didn’t even notice that tears were in my eyes.

“Thank you, Sam. I won’t let you down!” I gave a big smile and a thumbs up.

“I know.” 

It had been about two weeks into these tutor sessions with Sam and the information was actually sticking like never before we also had started to build a friendship.

“So worst injury from when you were a kid, go.” I half demanded in a friendly way while sipping my coffee we had been an hour in but got distracted by talking about our childhoods I can't even remember who asked the first question.

He sits back in his chair thinking for a moment. “Mhh I broke my arm when I was four.”  

My eyes light in surprise. “Really!? How?” 

“I had followed my brother on top of a shed and we were dressed as Superman and Batman and he had convinced me that I could actually fly so I jumped off and lold and behold I broke my arm so Dean had to take me in his handlebars on his fisher price bike.” he finished off with laughing and I joined in.

“Wow, I don’t know if I can top that.” I slapped his arm.

“Oh come on it’s your turn.” 

“Okay well, when I was six I sprang my ankle.” I see his face and he tries to hold back his laugh. “Hey hey, I never said it was good.” I also laugh.

“Well, I guess it's good that it wasn't worse but it doesn't really make for a good story.”

“That’s what I told you!” I then think about my test.

“Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“You think I can pass this test?” I picked at my fingernails again.

He grabbed my hand. And directed my head to meet his.

“I fully believe in you Y/n, you are going to be a damn good lawyer.” Again I look into his eyes and believe him.

I grab my test and run to find Sam. I ran through in-between other people not caring if I bumped into them. 

“Sam! SAM!” I yelled all the way to the coffee shop with the test paper in my hand arm raised looking crazy. And I did not care. I get there and see him in there standing in line. I pulled open the door and full on ran to him.

“Sam SAM! LOOK! LOOK!” Everyone looks at me with a look at this girl who belongs in the coo-coo place. “Sam I passed!” I hand the paper to him he takes it studies it and sees the grade.

“I knew you could go it!” He picks me up in a hug and spins around in excitement. He puts me down both of us high and giddy from the good news our eyes met and we both decide to go for it. We meet in the middle of a sweet kiss. It was slow with a tiny bit of earning behind it. His lips were a bit chapped but still soft somehow. We both let go at the same time.

“Wow, that was amazing.” He said while gently grabbing my hand.

“Really, me too.” I smiled at our hands joined. “I guess it’s lucky you bumped into me.”

“And I guess I'm lucky you needed a tutor.” I giggle at that and we kiss again.

Thank you for reading!

[theroundbartable]

(sending hugs)

what are your thoughts about aithusa? personally i love her way to much, but she rarely comes up in fandom discourse

HEY :D Thoughts about AIthusa, huh? I have many of those. Thoughts, I mean. In my brain. They like to swim around and create a whole mess of things sometimes.

I think the reason why Aithusa doesn't come up in fandom discourse often is because there isn't very much to say. Aithusa was born, then color coded as a sign for the golden future of Camelot and was then abandoned by Merlin. Tortured by a crazy guy. Then raised by Morgana and used to create the sword that later killed Arthur. Whenever they come up in fandom discouse, it's mostly about Merlin doing his job as Dragon Lord right or wrong. But you wanted my thoughts, so I'm gonna allow my head to spin weird shit around the ungendered Dragon. (That is why I will use they/them pronouns for Aithusa.) When it comes to Aithusa's name, not the canon translation, I mean what it literally means, it's hard to find, since they used old English for the language of magic, and I think Greek for the language of the Dragon Lords (which doesn't necessarily have to apply to the Dragon names) and I haven't seen anyone make a post about it. All I get from Google translate is "Hey you" in Gaelic and that's a bit useless. Or well, this:

The automatic language recognition in Google would let me interpret Aithusa as a gift to the world. Or Arthur, depending on your shipping interests. Or, you know, if I could make up the Old English maybe pseudo-parts of the word (the writers were very lazy in BBC Merlin, they are literally quoting Beowulf when Merlin magics the blue ball in the poisoned chalice.). Something fitting I found in my old English dictionary is agan, meaning to possess, and to own, and thus (spelled with a thorn which my keyboard doesn't have) meaning as follows. So, in my absolutely amateurish and interpretational, and way too far reaching ways, I would say Aithusa could mean: A(gan) thus (a): To own the future.

(Again, you asked for my thoughts, this is not canon and probably pointless, I just needed to go down this route first.)

In the fandom wiki, we find THESE informations on Aithusa.

So, things we do know are very few

Aithusa is a baby

Aithusa was tortured and is therefore crippled

Aithusa cannot talk

Aithusa probably has Stockholm Syndrom because of Morgana

But you know, I think it's very interesting to know that Aithusa is the Light of the Sun, the literal sign for a Golden Future and that very sign can be hurt by a mere human. Not only does this mean that humans can kill Dragons (the Dragon lore doesn't make any sense, I swear to god) but it's also meant to be symbolism. Merlin, just like Arthur, is shown to be his own doom through Aithusa. They are hidden, tortured, kept from living their truth, abandoned by everyone who should be leading and protecting them.

With Aithusa being born it means that at that point, Merlin had already fulfilled his destiny. At this point in time, the golden age is already there and it should have been a sign for Merlin to speak up about his magic. He never did, that's why Aithusa remains mute. And just like magic itself, when harmed or in danger, Aithusa can easily be used for evil.

Apart from the symbolism and their part in Arthur's death, Aithusa doesn't contribute much to the story, I think. Yes, they console Morgana and they are like the continuation of the Dragon lineage, but that's ultimately pointless. Aithusa will be, inevitably, be the last Dragon. Which is honestly really cruel, but again, parallel to Merlin himself. That's where Aithusa's arc ends, unfortuntaley. Personally, knowing all that, I find Aithusa hard to use as the character they are in canon. With what little defines their character, you have to ultimately change everything about them to use them in fun fics and comics and stuff. That's why they end up as a little dog creature so often.

Don't get me wrong, I love Aithusa. But I love FANON Aithusa, just like I prefer fanon Sir Leon over canon Sir Leon. Because fanon Aithusa is like a domesticated chicken that Merlin keeps in his rooms or fights custody over with Morgana while Arthur is either oblivious, supportive, or being gaslit. But maybe I am overlooking a lot of things. So, if any of you like to disagree or add anything to my points, feel free to engage ^^

[alaskan-wallflower]

being so completely honest when i say this, but if you have a job, you should be showing up. it’s fine to call out every once in a while, but if you’re going two and half months hardly doing the full 8 show week because your role is “just so taxing” then you either find a way to make it sustainable or you take accountability and say that you need an alternate because you can’t do the show 8 times a week. everyone in the show has called out but no one has called out as much as brody has and in a professional theatre environment, you have to be a professional, take accountability for your actions, and respect the production, which includes showing up for your job. when jordan fisher was in dear evan hansen and sweeney todd, he called out all the time and guess what? when he got to hadestown he got his act together because he didn’t want poor attendance to be a part of his reputation. it doesn’t matter how talented brody is, if he’s gonna be in a broadway show, he needs to show up and take accountability for his actions.

okay? i don’t think it’s his call to make trevor an alternate. and agan, what’s with the sudden influx of brody hate in my inbox? yall know im a fan of him. of the musical. why do you send me shit like this? and what do you mean “he held accountable for his actions”? what actions are so dire that he has to “be held accountable” for? listening to his body? knowing that if his body says he can’t do a show then he can’t do a show? and he’s been in the show for a good fifteen productions in a row and he took one break and did another fifteen days or so. i’d say a break is well deserved. and plenty of actors take breaks. just because he happens to call out more doesn’t mean anything. and may i remind you that he’s being thrown around, he’s doing this all on the equivalent of an obstacle course, he does a while fight in the rain scene, the fire stunt, the dancing, the taxing of his voice is a lot. So yeah. I’d expect him to be out more and again, HIS ABSENCES ARE NO ONES BUSINESS! I don’t know why people only hold Brody to gunpoint over being absent like yeah, i get he calls out more, but he doesn’t make the call about an alternate. That’s out of his control. To even insinuate that is beyond idiotic.

And him and Jordan are completely different people. To compare them is unfair. and we don’t know if the reason Jordan is taking less absences is because he e”doesn’t want that in his record”-like honestly? Ponyboy is a much more taxing role than Orpheus because Orpheus at least has some downtime and while there is a lot more dancing in Hadestown, there’s also a lot more physical action in the rumble and the fire stunt and the rain sequence and whatnot.

i don’t know what it is with anons in my inbox and thinking they’re entitled to say what brody is doing in taking breaks when needed is wrong. you don’t know why he’s out and it’s not your business why he’s out. everyone is entitled to their off days. try playing pony boy for an eight week show and then you can talk shit. he’s allowed to take breaks and the fact you’re insinuating he can’t makes me believe you’re just being an entitled prick. he could very well be sick or just taking a well deserved break. and the whole “being held accountable” thing is bullshit. he’s not doing anything wrong in putting his own needs first. if he feels he can’t do the show at 100% then he can’t do the show. and i commend him for that.

idk what it is with all these people staying on anon either like if you can’t even say this without needing anonymity to cover your tracks you shouldn’t be sending this to me.

[molabuddy]

i keep being put in salmon run matches where no one goes after the shooty fucks (Can't remember their names. hate them) ... absolutely horrendous job everypony we have been maimed agan

shooty fucks .... stingers question mark ? either way this is so real ... when i have something even remotely fast shooting / short range i am making a Beeline to the shore to kill stingers / bigshots as soon as i get a whiff of their fishy smell... the missile knows where it is (im the missile)

and i'm getting better now at remembering that i can take flyfish into my own hands if i have stable footing, bc i used to be like "ah i hate throwing bombs ill let my crew take down the flyfish" and then. they dont. & we die

on the other hand it can be so tricky when ur entire crew is going after One guy like cmon we need to spread ourselves out a little bit.... gaahhhh salmon run. never change ❤

[have-you-read-this-short-fiction]

SUBMISSIONS ARE OPENING AGAN!

Hello everybody, it's that time once again! Send in short stories, novellas, and short story collections and we will see whether tumblr has read them!

Going over some general rules again first:

Submissions will stay open until Tuesday. Once it's Tuesday, I will close it. I may close early if I get an influx of submissions. I also might extend submissions if I want more.

Make sure to go through the list of all stories that have already been submitted and posted. I know it's long, but feel free to use the "Find" tool to see if what you want to submit is already on there.

Limit yourself to only submitting about five pieces in each category. If I extend submissions to be longer than originally intended, feel free to submit a few more, but otherwise try not to do more. Be courteous to others who want to submit things.

Feel free to submit things that are well known classics + lesser known pieces!

Do not submit full-length novels, even if they're shorter. This is for short stories, novellas (under 40K words), or short story collections. Please consider going to @haveyoureadthisbook-poll @haveyoureadthismgyabook or @haveyoureadthisfantasybook or @haveyoureadthisqueerbook, among other poll blogs (those are just the ones I follow so I know about them)

Do not submit plays or poems. We have had some problems with people submitting plays before, and like, I love plays! But that's not the focus of this blog. We're focusing on prose here. Even if it's a book of poetry or a verse poetry book, do not submit them. Please consider going to @haveyoureadthispoem-poll and @do-you-know-this-play

Consider submitting with a link to the piece you are submitting. Of course, if you don't have one/can't find one, that's perfectly alright. But if it's an older piece that is in the public domain/easily Googlable OR is a piece originally published online/in a publicly accessible literary magazine, others would love to read it as well :)

If you have any questions, the ask box is always open <3 Even if you just want to share some thoughts about your pieces, feel free to drop by in the ask box !!!

SUBMISSIONS LINK!

Thank you everyone :) Consider reblogging this post if you submit something, boosting its visibility, and helping more people see and submit things!

[jmagnabo92]

9-1-1 S8-E3 Live Reaction

Under the cut - to protect people from being spoiled.

So.... Athena's doing CPR instead of flying the plane?

"To Land this damn bird."

Josh giving the phone to Maddie to deal with Bobby.

"LOL - are you with the 118?" "No, we're in a stolen truck."

LOL the reference to "didn't know you were british" - "it's called acting son". (Since Oliver is British - I didn't know that either)

This kid is really doing the work.

Bobby's surprisingly calm. I do love that look btw Buck and Bobby.

OMG - this is rough and scary.

Holy shit all the trunks and ambulances.

LOL the reference to the Cruise Ship.

"I told him you were busy but he was insistent." (Yeah, 'cause he's her husband).

"You got a runway in your back pocket?"

Love Bobby being like "I'm going to create one for you"

Honestly, I would be freaking out if I was Bobby, but he's calm, cool and collected - and sharing knowing looks w/ Buck.

"Why has there been an accident?" - "There might be."

Buck stealing this guys' bike - "Seriously??" - "Yeah let's go."

The crew looking so confused.

"Do I sound unsure to you?" - Athena's like, Come On Bitches.

LOL Athena turn to Jem - you got this? - NO I CRASH IN THE GAME. OMG Athena's face.

Buck trying to stop people and not get run over. Just realizes Bobby really couldn't have done this without Bobby.

Jem hitting the seatbeat sign... LOL.

OH, Josh - you sweet naive man.

He did it!

"We just got ourselves a runaway." - the Look on Brad's face is hilarious.

Aww these two are sweet.

Almost letting the kid do it - really????

This is aganizing.

Buck turning around as she goes over them. AHHHH.

Aww they hit that sign.

AHHH Bobby just putting his hands up like he can stop it. LOL

They made it - OF COURSE.

Aw Jem/Athena hug <3

Bobby "check in with that firefighter".

Go away, Brad - LOL Brad fainting. "Buck, we got another one."

WHAT THE FUCK - A FIRE ON THE PLANE.

And Athena not just leaving - you've done enough, COME ON.

Buck forgetting that it's a TV rig and not the real truck. LOL.

"That was the plan - I think I got a better one."

Bobby immediately taking control of the 118 as Captan :). In Hen's words, "I'm just going with it."

Awww the moment btw Bobby & Athena - I've got you.

LOL "We're going to need a really big tow-truck"

LOL Bobby not knowing about Gerard and Chim referring to him as a "guest cap". & Telling him it's more fun not to explain.

The GUY GOT OUT? And he was a fake!!!

Bobby totally just lied and it's hilarious.

"You're not going to like this - the airport." Yeah, after that chaos, I wouldn't go on a plane for a long time.

LOL this guy is like "I gotta do paperwork and call my boss - so need a ticket" sees Athena's badge - "That works too"

"That's what you get for being on your phone all day" - Athena's LOOK.

Jenkins jumping in front of the bullet! Using his shiv!!! AHHHH!

LOL - "I finally shanked somebody!"

"I can't take you anywhere!" - HAHAHAH.

It's interesting that they're keeping Athena's landing the plane a secret.

IT WAS THE GUYS IDEA to get ahead of it? Damn.

Hopefully this scene means Athena's moving on from Emmett and everything.

Was he a good man besides the killing of Emmett? Like his family only knows him as a good man.

FUCK Gerard is back???

HOW THE FUCK???

An explanation point??? Crapper is in need of your loving touch???

Buck looks terrified. HOLY SHIT GERARD IS HUGGING HIM????

I love the faces made by the team though.

God that was hilarious.

Anyway, glad the plane crash is over - no more bees, but Gerard is still around???

I'm sorry, still laughing at that ending.

[hannahhook7744]

You’re on Your Own, Kid (You Always Have Been);

Summary: The Badun Detective Agency founding members (and Elle) are used to being on their own. Here are just a few examples. Cowritten with @igetthedisneybox . Trigger warnings: child abuse, child neglect, child abandonment, swearing, mentioned child murder, animal abuse, car accidents leading to serious injuries, implied suicide, child labor, ableism, etc.

------------------------------------------------------------

The rain pelted the ground as the sky above thundered on.

Helga tightened her grip on the two baskets in her hand, making sure they didn’t slip. Despite her heavy load, she traversed the streets of the Isle with all the grace and poise of an assassin, until she finally made it to her destination.

Hell Hall.

Sneaking up the steps, she placed the two baskets on the doorstep, making sure the note was fully visible.

Her twin babies stared up at her, blinking innocently. Harold had the letter addressed to their father and the De Vil’s clutched in his chubby fist.

“Be good you two. But be sure to give them hell. God knows they’ll need it.”

“Ma—” Her daughter, Mabletrude, babbled happily. Reaching for her with one hand and clutching her little wooden doll in the other.

Helga felt a pain in her chest, but she ignored it. “Bye, little ones. Ma loves you.” She banged her fist on the door three times, then ran into the bushes, out of sight, but able to watch.

Harry watched her go and when he realized she wasn't going to come back and get them, he started to wail. 

Loud swearing could be heard from inside for a few minutes before someone finally answered the door. 

It took her a moment to recognize them.

“Hunter.” She breathed, almost wanting to come out of the bushes, to see her son. But she thought better of it. He would only be angry.

That is, if he even recognized her. They hadn't seen each other since before her Archer (his father) died more than nine years ago, after all.

The bleach blonde looked around confused for a moment before looking down—his brown eyes going comically wide before he hesitantly took them inside.

------------------------------------------------------------

The last thing Elle remembered when she woke up was the family car crashing and pain. Horrible, horrible pain in her back and legs that was nothing like she'd ever felt before in her long three years of life. 

Pain that was now completely gone. Replaced by a strange numbness that was completely overshadowed by how blurry everything in this strange, new, bright place was. 

“Mama?”

Her mother didn't respond or come running to her call. 

“Papa?”

Her father didn't either. 

So…Elle tried to get up, only to faceplant on the floor—causing the little brunette to start crying. 

A man and a woman, who had been standing outside the door talking to a nurse, came rushing in. “Are you alright, dear?”

“I want my mama!” Elle sniffled, trying to push herself to her feet—almost causing her to faceplant agan. 

The woman gently lifted her up and back onto the bed. “Honey…your mama had to go away.”

“Then I wants papa!”

The man winced. “Your papa had to go away too. I’m sorry, little one.”

“I wanna go home then!” Elle yelled, getting more and more frustrated. “I wanna go home!”

The woman sighed. “Dear…we’re gonna be taking you to our home for now.”

“Why?”

“Since your parents…someone needs to take care of you. We decided that we wanted to be the ones to take care of you.” Eric chimed in.

Elle made a face. Trying to understand. “I don't… I don't understands.”

“We know, Elle.” Ariel tried to soothe. “This is hard to understand. We’ll try and help you the best we can.”

------------------------------------------------------------

A loud bang rang out throughout the small area of land where the Bing circus was located, followed by an even louder, high-pitched scream. 

It came from Maximilian and Hermie Bing’s trailer. 

“Goodness, what was that?” Colette looked alarmed at the trailer.

Holt looked wary. “No idea. Should we go check it out?”

Colette looked at him like he was insane. “Somebody just screamed from our boss’s trailer. Yes we should go check it out!”

Holt got up, still wary and looked at the others: Mainly his two children—Joey and Milly. “You two stay here.”

Just then, the screaming got louder. 

Holt whirled around towards the sound. “That sounds like Hermie! Let’s go!” He began to run towards the sound.

“DADDY! DADDY!” The seven year old’s cries became clearer and clearer the closer he got. 

“Hermie!” Holt called out as he and Colette approached the trailer.

She didn't respond and just kept screaming. 

Bursting into the trailer, all they could see was the little brunette standing in the doorway to her dad's room. Her back to them. 

“Hermie? What’s wrong, what happened?” Colette approached the screaming girl cautiously. Only to immediately get a glimpse of some kind of red liquid on the floor. 

Colette tried to pull Hermie away from the door. “Holt, go get…somebody. Anybody. There’s…I think there’s blood…” She trailed off.

Holt didn't need to be told twice. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Jace sniffled, pressing the coldest thing he could find to his wrist. 

His mother hovered over him, unsure of what else she could do. “See? It’s not that bad. That’ll heal up nicely.”

“I hate her, mama.” the seven year old replied miserably. “And I hate him too.”

“Hate isn’t a very nice word, dear.” Katrina said through a wince.

“Well Cru-ella isn't nice either.” He huffed, defiant.

“I know, I know. But we have to be better than her.”

“Which isn’t hard.” She thought, but did not say.

“How can we be better if she kills us like she did the others?” Jace muttered. Grumpily.

Katrina blinked. She felt like all the breath had been stolen from her lungs. “What are you talking about?”

The smaller brunette squinted at her, clearly confused. “Whaddya mean what am I talking about? She killeds James and maybe the others too.”

James was Jace’s oldest half brother. 

It seemed like all she could do was stare. “Jacey? Please tell Mommy that you're joking. That this is a prank.”

He looked even more confused. “No… she pushed him down the stairs cause he wouldn't let her hit Hunter.”

Katrina tried to catch her breath. This was…she didn’t know how to deal with this. But first things first: Jace could not see her try and figure this out. “My, look at the time. It’s bedtime for Jacey.”

Jace grumbled. “Do I have to mama?”

“Yes. Good boys go to bed.” Just a few more minutes, and then she could break down. She could try and figure things out.

He huffed but went anyway, figuring that he could just spend more time with her in the morning.

But she wasn't there in the morning.

------------------------------------------------------------

Little Reza flapped his hands in excitement as he read the astronomy book he'd found.

“Cut that out!” His father snapped at him, looking up from his work.

The nine year old immediately shrunk away from him. 

“And that book is mine. Are you trying to steal from me, child?” His voice became dangerously low.

“N-no father, I found it in the barge. It's not your—”

“Give it here!” Tareq interrupted, holding out his hand. “You little thief! You should know better than to touch my things!”

“No! It's mine—”

In one fell swoop, Tareq had ripped the book out of Reza’s hands, while simultaneously shoving him backwards. He thumbed through the book, disgust on his face. “Bah. I got the newest addition years ago. Garbage.” He tossed the book onto his desk, high enough that Reza couldn’t reach.

Reza couldn't help but scowl. Forgetting where he was.

“What was that?” Tareq glared at his son.

The ravenette backed away. “N-nothing baba.”

“What did I say about that word?!” He shoved himself right near Reza’s face, teeth ground together.

The small boy backed away, hunching in on himself.

“Go to your room, and stay there. Think about what you have done.”

Reza did, but not before mumbling “I hate you.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie stood outside of Hades’ Souvlaki at 4am. Waiting for it to open. 

Luckily for him, Fern Coachmen was opening that morning and spotted him out the window. “Uh hello? What are you doing out there?”

The little brunette perked up. “Are you still hiring?”

Fern looked left and right, seeing if the boy was alone. “Are you volunteering?”

“Yes ma'am!”

“How old are you?” She asked, concerned.

He peered at her with big brown eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly. He wore clothes several sizes too big, even by isle kid standards (reminding her of her younger brother, Warren) and his eyes were slathered in eyeliner, making him look loosely like a raccoon. “Does it matter?”

Fern felt her motherly instincts kick in. “I suppose not, it’s not like this is particularly dangerous work. What’s your name, dear?”

“Edmund Balthazar, but everybody calls me Eddie.” 

“Eddie.” She smiled warmly. “I’m Fern. Come on in, we can warm you up. Get you something to eat.”

“Does this mean I get the job?”  He asked, following her in without a second thought. Making her wonder if he was even an isle kid to begin with, because most children she knew—even ones younger than this boy looked, tended to be wary. 

“Sure thing. We’ll see what we can do with you.” She hesitated. “Do…do your parents know that you’re here?”

“Kinda. Mama’s memory ain't so great anymore but I'm sure daddy will remember I'm here. He would have come instead but he can't move good no more after his fall.” The brunette shrugged, rolling up his sleeves. 

Fern couldn’t remember much about the Balthazars. Her and Panic never paid much mind to Isle gossip. “I see. Well, as long as they’re…semi okay with it.”

“They are!”

She smiled again. “Well, welcome aboard, Eddie!”

He smiled sleepily at her, with bags under his eyes that were heavier than any child's should be. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Yzla cried and cried into the cat shaped pillow her father had brought her on his latest visit back to the isle. 

Miserable.

“Why so glum, little one?” Her father’s voice sounded from behind her.

“You know why.” She sniffed. 

Cedric sighed. “I know you don’t like it when I leave for work. But it’s only temporary. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“But you just got here. Do you really have to go? Grandmother's always meaner when you're gone and Zevon always acts worse!”

“I’m sorry, Yzzy. I really am. I’m sure you can talk with your mother about these things, maybe she can help with Zevon?” Azma was a lost cause, so Cedric didn’t bother mentioning her.

“Mom tries but Zevon is hard to handle.” Yzla scowled, grumpy. “And she's got her handful with grandmother. And the twins can only do so much– especially when Lil Yaz keeps riling her up.”

He sighed again, frustrated. “There’s nothing I can do, Yzla. If I don’t go to work, I don’t get money, and if I don’t get money, we can’t eat or do science anymore.”

“Just leave me alone.” The eleven mumbled. “I'll handle it myself, like I always do.” 

Cedric immediately regretted being snappy with his daughter, but she didn’t seem to be in the mood for apologies, so he decided to let her be. “I love you, Yz. I’ll be back before you know it.” He smoothed her hair.

She said nothing. Knowing there was nothing she could say that would better the situation.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sheldon the turtle took a look at his surroundings, very displeased.

He was surrounded. By garbage.

How uncivilized.

He tottered along on his little stubby legs, nosing around some compost wondering if anything was decent enough to eat. 

He hadn't eaten all day!

He was gonna starve if he didn't find something this instance.

Oh, his family was going to get bit when he got back home. 

“Don't worry! I'll save you!”

Sheldon looked up from his musings to find a human child—different from the one in his family—with a brown bowl cut for hair, and brown eyes, and baggy clothes, leaning over the edge of the barge.

He blinked at the human child, wishing he could tell him that he could save himself thank you very much.

But he couldn’t. Because he was a turtle.

The child squirmed, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he moved forward. A net in hand. “Don't be scared!”

“Eddie, who are you talking to you?” Another human  child asked from out of Sheldon’s line of sight. 

The first child ignored them. 

Sheldon barely had time to wonder if he was going to try and catch him with that net, before he was scooped up like a common fish!

Along with a pair of… what did his human call them? Nomchunks?...

“There we go! I got ya little guy. Don't worry. My friends and I will take real good care of ya!”

[green-applepie]

The Better to Taste You With [OC X Reader v0re]

You should have known better not to mess with the un-fabled but it was a little too late of regrets now and you were in trouble with some dangerous folks. You knew there was only one man (canine?) that could protect you now; The Big Bad Wolf. But in this world protection came at a strange steep price but you were desperate...

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

You feel a shiver go up your back as the wolf's hot breath prickles across your bare shoulder, biting your lip to avoid making any embarrassing sounds.

"A-are you sure this is the only way....?" You ask, trying your best not to sound nervous.

"Positive. Don' worry, porkchop..." The wolf rumbles as he sizes you up for lunch. Despite being much bigger his claws hadn't even scratched you "I'll keep ya in one piece.."

A little moan escapes your mouth when you feel his warm flat tongue slide up the back of your neck. The wolf chuckles low in his throat "You squirm like this down there you'll give me a stomach ache.." he tightens his grip on your waist pulling you back closer to him "Relax, I'm a wolf of my word..." that deep voice was practically a purr.

Soon that firm grip turned you around so you were looking up at the wolf's yellow eyes and big wide mouth as he licked his chops "Ready, porkchop?"

You barely manage a small nod, struggling to hear anything over the heartbeat in your ears.

The tips of his teeth graze against your skin as you’re taken into his warm slimy mouth and worked down the wolf’s throat, landing in his belly with a dull wet plop. The stomach walls lurch around you as the wolf belches

*BBBBBBRRRRRRWWWWWWPPP!!*

“You taste even better than little red, porkchop..” *URP!* “We should do this agan~..”

[Author’s Note: Though I personally imagine the wolf as a very large man with wolf features, he could also fit a full-on anthro]

[never-not-ever]

When someone wakes up at 8am and went to bed at 8pm it's like hey, you got some good sleep! But when you sleep until 5pm but didn't go to bed til 5am it sounds like too much sleep and very bad for you!! That was me and it means I'm definitely into a pattern now and am probably going to be up until the early morning agan.

That being said I was up a couple times this morning. My Nana's cousin was supposed to come this morning to fix two doors in my apartment and someone from PACT was dropping off my weekly meds so I had to have my phone on and wasn't really in a deep sleep. The guy never came but the PACT person did come and said "the nurses just want to make sure you're coming Tuesday?". I'm supposed to have weekly sessions with my case manager/peer specialist but I've only seen her once since I got out 😐. She was sick once and then I had scheduling issues with the car I'm sharing with my Nana so appointments got pushed and canceled. Besides getting meds weekly and the nurse asking how I'm doing and I say "eh, okay", the PACT team doesn't really know how things actually are...

Anyways because I kept waking up I had SO many dreams and weird ones. I remember I was about to eat a steak sandwich and I had a piece and was like what are you doing you're vegetarian?!?.... Then a dream I was in a partial program at McLean and newer people that came from my old unit was saying the one of the patients who's still there said hi. Then I was organizing some weird tray of different glass cups and my old fav nurse who's now on overnights was telling me to stop touching it. Then I was like walking along the curb on Storrow Drive (?!?!?) with some other people from partial. Then one where her cousin actually showed up but he was drunk and a lot younger than what age my Nana said. Strange.

I got dinner with some friends last night and I was so anxious cause this was the first social thing I've done in well over a year! Even last summer I hardly saw them cause I was working so much. But one friend came up from NC for the weekend cause she's from here and she has some family things going on. Then there were 3 other friends (two are in a relationship), the 5 of us have a group chat that we talk a lot on. At first the dinner was going to be just us but then 2 other girls got invited and I was so tempted to cancel cause it started to feel overwhelming with so many people. I didn't want to cancel cause my friend from NC had a horrible morning so I ended up going and it wasn't that bad.

It's so weird that it's after 6pm and it feels/technically is like my day just started. The light coming in from the windows sort of looks like when the sun starts to rise so I can kind of trick my mind into thinking it's early morning 😂.

I need to go out in a little bit to pick up some groceries and while typing all this I got a whiff of apple cider 🧐 so I added hot apple cider to the list! I'm planning on making Pasta e Fagioli soup later. My Nana used to make it when I was growing up so I'm excited to try making it myself. I made lentil soup a couple weeks ago but it made a huge batch and I had soup for days plus soup in my freezer so I need to try to downsize this one.