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thethief1996 · 2 years ago

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700 Palestinians were killed in the last 24 hours and the airstrikes are more violent each night. Gaza's hospitals have fuel left for two more days. Israel only allowed aid into Gaza on the condition they didn't carry fuel. The Indonesian hospital has shut down already, because doctors have no supplies and no choice but to let the wounded die. They're calling it a collapse but the term doesn't do it justice.

Over a 100 incubator babies are at risk. There are 50.000 pregnant women in Gaza right now, and 5.500 due to give birth this month. Menstruating people are taking pills in order to stop their periods, because they do not have pads or water to maintain hygiene. Surgeons are operating without anesthesia. Water is not reaching Gazans because there's no electricity or fuel for water pumps.

There's no excuse for this. Israel justifies the airstrikes by saying they want to destroy Hamas infrastructure and release the hostages, but they have refused to negotiate for their release. Hamas informed Israel they wanted to release two elderly women without anything in return, and Israel refused. Netanyahu said they wouldn't take their own civilians back because it was "mendacious propaganda." When the hostages were finally released, Netanyahu prohibited the hospital from giving press releases. Yocheved Lifshitz went behind their backs and talked to the press anyway, saying she was treated very well by Hamas, but the government abandoned them. They're being used as straw men. Israel is conditioning the entry of fuel to the release of hostages and yet, according to The Wall Street Journal, when Hamas proposed to exchange 50 hostages for fuel they denied. IDF officials have said they fear the release of more hostages because that might withhold the order to their ground invasion. They do not care as long as they can use the hostages as a pretext for their slaughtering.

There's a turning tide for Palestine in public support. Support for Israel was built through decades of propaganda and we are making a dent into it. Zionists are desperate, holding zoom meetings to promote zionism, but we have to do so much more. We have to shame people in power into supporting the Palestinian cause.

Keep yourself updated and share Palestinian voices, looking to inform yourself from the sources. Palestinians have asked of us only that we share, tweet and post, over and over. Muna El-Kurd said every tweet is like a treasure to them, because their voices are repressed on social media and even on this very app. Make it your action item to share something about the Palestinian plight everyday. Here are some resources:

Al Jazeera

Anadolu Agency

Mondoweiss

Boycott Divest Sanction Movement

Palestinian Youth Movement

Mohammed El-Kurd (twitter / instagram)

Al-Shabaka (twitter / instagram)

Mariam Barghouti (twitter / instagram)

Muhammad Shehada (twitter)

Motaz Azaiza (instagram) - reporting directly from Gaza

Take action. You can participate in boycotts wherever you are in the world, through BDS guidelines. Right now, they are focusing on boycotting (don't be overwhelmed by gigantic boycott lists. Only boycott additional brands if you can):

Carrefour

Puma

Sabra

Sodastream

Ahava cosmetics

Israeli fruits and vegetables

Push for a cultural boycott - pressure your favorite artist to speak out on Palestine and cancel any upcoming performances on occupied territory (Lorde cancelled her gig in Israel because of this. It works.)

If you can, participate in direct action or donate. Palestine Action works to shut down Israeli weapons factories in the UK and USA, and have successfully shut down one of their firms in London. Some of the activists are going on trial and are calling for mobilizing on court.

Call your representatives. The Labour Party in the UK had an emergency meeting after several councilors threatened to resign if they didn't condemn Israeli war crimes. Calling to show your complaints works, even more if you live in a country that funds genocide.

FOR PEOPLE IN THE USA: USCPR has developed this toolkit for calls

FOR PEOPLE IN THE UK: Friends of Al-Aqsa UK and Palestine Solidarity UK have made toolkits for calls and emails

FOR PEOPLE IN GERMANY: Here's a toolkit to contact your representatives by Voices in Europe for Peace

FOR PEOPLE IN IRELAND: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace

FOR PEOPLE IN POLAND: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace

FOR PEOPLE IN DENMARK: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace

FOR PEOPLE IN SWEDEN: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace

FOR PEOPLE IN AUSTRALIA: Here's a toolkit by Stand With Palestine

FOR PEOPLE IN CANADA: Here's a toolkit by Indepent Jewish Voices for Canada

Join a protest. Here's a constantly updating list of protests:

Global calendar

USA calendar

Australia calendar

Here are upcoming events:

CANBERRA/NGUNNAWAL, AUSTRALIA – Wed Oct 25, 11 am, National Press Club. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cyh1xy1BMrU/

OXFORD, ENGLAND – Wed Oct 25, 12:15 pm, Cornmarket. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/CykroKeInz3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

SMITH COLLEGE (US) – Wed Oct 25, 12 pm, Chapin Lawn. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/CymT8f5vnHN/?img_index=1

ST CATHERINES, ON ( CANADA) – Wed Oct 25, 6 pm, 61 Geneva St Info: https://www.facebook.com/events/889319005528757/

TORONTO, CANADA – Wed Oct 25, 5 pm, Sidney Smith Hall. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/CyjVbpGvva8/

SANT CUGAT, CATALONIA, SPAIN – Thurs Oct 26, 6 pm, Davant l’Ajuntament. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/CynL834tgg9/?img_index=4

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA – Fri Oct 27, 7 pm, Federation Square. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cyhyd0vhP8t/

LIVORNO, ITALY – Sat Oct 28, 2:30 pm, Piazza Cavour. Info https://www.instagram.com/p/CyiWJ06MXpM/

MINNEAPOLIS, MN (US) – Sat Oct 28, 1 pm, Lake Street and Minnehaha.

ROME, ITALY – Sat Oct 28, Rome. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cyi7ey-MMs1/?img_index=1

ROME, ITALY – Sat Nov 4, Rome. Info TBA: https://www.instagram.com/p/CyndKUitnMU/

WASHINGTON, DC (USA) – Sat Nov 4, 12 pm, White House. Info: https://www.instagram.com/p/CyiecRtr9-B/

Wollongong: Rally at Crown Street Mall Amphitheatre on 21 Oct at 1 PM

Melbourne: Blak and Palestinian Solidarity Rally at Victorian Parliament House Steps on 25 Oct at 6 PM

HOUSTON: Thursday, October 26th, 5:45PM, Rice University, Central Quad

VANCOUVER: OCT 28 at 2PM, Vancouver Art Gallery

KITCHENER: Wednesday October 25th at 5 PM at CBC Kitchener

SANTA ANA: 20 Civic Center Plaza, Santa Ana, CA 92701, October 25th at 5:30 pm

TORONTO: WED. OCT 25 at 7PM at Queen's Park

[CAR RALLY] WASHINGTON D.C: Wednesday 10/25 outside the US State Department on the 23rd Street side

Feel free to add more.

#save gaza #free palestine #gaza under attack #palestine

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probablyasocialecologist · 2 years ago

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The study itself is titled, “Long-Term Regret and Satisfaction With Decision Following Gender-Affirming Mastectomy,” and sought to study the rate of regret and satisfaction after 2 years or more following gender affirming top surgery. The study’s results were stunning - in 139 surgery patients, the median regret score was 0/100 and the median satisfaction score was 5/5 with similar means as well. In other words… regret was virtually nonexistent in the study among post-op transgender people. In fact, the regret was so low that many statistical techniques would not even work due to the uniformity of the numbers: In this cross-sectional survey study of participants who underwent gender-affirming mastectomy 2.0 to 23.6 years ago, respondents had a high level of satisfaction with their decision and low rates of decisional regret. The median Satisfaction With Decision score was 5 on a 5-point scale, and the median decisional regret score was 0 on a 100-point scale. This extremely low level of regret and dissatisfaction and lack of variance in scores impeded the ability to determine meaningful associations among these results, clinical outcomes, and demographic information. The numbers are in line with many other studies on satisfaction among transgender people. Detransition rates, for instance, have been pegged at somewhere between 1-3%, with transgender youth seeing very low detransition rates. Surgery regret is in line with at least 27 other studies that show a pooled regret rate of around 1% - compare this to regret rates from things like knee surgery, which can be as high as 30%. Gender affirming care appears to be extremely well tolerated with very low instances of regret when compared to other medically necessary care.

[...]

The intense conservative backlash, to the point of disputing reputable scientific journals, likely stems from the fact that reduced regret rates weaken a central narrative these figures have championed in legal and legislative spaces. Over the past three years, anti-trans entities have showcased political detransitioners, reminiscent of the ex-gay campaigns from the 1990s and 2000s, to argue that regrets over gender transition and detransition are widespread. Some have even asserted detransition rates of up to 80%, a claim that has been broadly debunked. Yet, research consistently struggles to find substantial evidence supporting this narrative. The rarity of detransition and regret is underscored by Florida's inability to enlist a single resident to bear witness against a lawsuit challenging the state's ban on gender-affirming care.

#lgbt #transgender #healthcare #detransition

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letteredlettered · 5 months ago

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feedback and fic in fandom (3 f's of our own)

This conversation about feedback on fic says everything I’ve been wanting to say better than I could say it. But I’ll go ahead and try anyway.

Over the last five years or so there have been some great discussions around the rise of commodification of fanworks and decline of fandom community. This commodification looks a bit like enshittification of the internet: a cool site exists; its popularity makes someone realize they can get money from it; it has more and more ads; the site adds features to drive engagement, including The Algorithm; the things that made the site cool start to fall away. The site exists now as a vehicle purely to get clicks, and the people on it are on it solely to get clicks—to make money, to be successful, for some kind of social cachet.

AO3 doesn’t have advertisements. It’s not making money. But what is happening to fandom is proof of concept that enshittification changes the way we as humans engage. A cool website in 2004 was often a community space where you could meet people, have conversations, find cool things, and make cool things. A cool website in 2024 is either a content farm that will continually feed you enough content to hold your attention, or a social media site where your participation will come with stats to show you whether you are holding the attention of others.

AO3 wasn’t built to be a community space. It doesn’t have great functions for meeting people and having conversations. The idea was that, because fandom community spaces already existed, AO3 would serve the part of that community where you can find the cool things and store the cool things you made. It was meant to be a library in a city, not the whole city itself.

But it was also never meant to be a website in 2024, a content farm constantly generating content solely for your clicks and eyeballs and ad revenue, or a social media site where the content creators themselves vie for your clicks and eyeballs.

The most common talking point when people discuss the enshittification of fandom is the folks out there who are treating AO3 as that first kind of enshittified website: the content farm. This discussion is about how people treat fanfic as a product for consumption.

The post that kicked off the discussion on @sitp-recs’s blog was about someone who wasn’t getting very many kudos or comments on their fic, and was feeling pretty demoralized about it, then joined a discord server and found an entire channel dedicated to people loving their fic. But those on that server had never come to share that love with the author, which the author found really discouraging.

There are more and more stories like this. Someone on tiktok pulls a quote from a fic on AO3 and makes a 10-second video with them staring at a wall, the quote pasted at the bottom, music playing over it. It has 100,000 hearts, and 100 comments with people gushing over the fic, which has 80 kudos on AO3. Overall, people notice more and more hits on their fics, but fewer and fewer comments or even kudos. Fewer and fewer people seem to feel the need to interact with the author, instead treating the fic like a product to be used and discarded—which the enshittified internet (a stunning feature of late-stage capitalism!) encourages. The fandom community is dying, these stories conclude.

I agree. 100%. Both of the stories above have happened to me—viral tiktoks about my fic, secret discord channels to follow and discuss my fic—and let me tell you, it fucking sucks.

But from these observations about fandom enshittification, the discussion continues in a very odd direction. The solution to the death of fandom community is our favorite enshittification buzzword: engagement. We should engage the authors. They’re producing these products for free. We consume them at no cost. We must demonstrate our gratitude by paying them back.

It’s as though the capitalist consumption that the enshittified web encourages is so ingrained within us that we must think in terms of payment, in terms of exchange, transaction. Or as though, by forgoing payment, authors are some kind of martyrs defying capitalism, and the only way to honor their great sacrifice is comments and kudos.

Indeed, the discourse around this sometimes does veer away from capitalist rhetoric into something that smells almost religious in desperation. Authors are gods who bestow us mere mortals with the fruits of their labor benevolently, through love; the least we can do is worship them. Meanwhile the authors adopt the groveling sentiment of starving artists: I produce great art; I only humbly ask that you feed me in return.

These kinds of entreaties make my skin crawl for a number of reasons. I’m not a god. I’m not writing because I love you. I don’t expect your worship or even your praise.

I think the thing that disturbs me the most about it is that it suggests that authors (or, if the OP is feeling generous fan work creators) are the most important people in fandom. I’ve even seen posts stating that without creators, fandom wouldn’t exist—as though readers aren’t just as important. As though conversations where people discuss characterizations and plot points and randomly spin out interpretations and ideas and thoughts related to canon are meaningless. I’ve even seen people scramble to include folks having these discussions as “creators,” as though realizing that these people are necessary and integral to fandom communities but unable to drop the idea that the producers are the ones who are important. As though that person who just lurks can never count.

Is this what community is? When you join the queer community, are you expected to produce a product of your queerness? If not, must you actively participate and give back to the queer community in order to be considered a part of it? Or is it enough that you are queer, that you exist as a queer person and want to be around others who are queer, you want to be a part of something? What is community, anyway?

The problem with people raising the authors above everyone else in the community and demanding that tribute be paid is that they are decrying the “content farm” style of 2024 website out of one side of their mouth, but out of the other side are instead demanding that AO3 become a 2024-style social media website. Authors are influencers. “Engagement” and clicks are the things that really matter. They are in fact suggesting that the way to solve the commodification of fanfic is by “paying authors back” with stats.

Before anyone comes at me with the idea that comments aren’t just “stats,” I will clarify what I mean. There are literally hundreds of posts on tumblr alone claiming that any comment “helps” the author. Someone replies that they are shy to comment. Someone else replies that incoherent keyboard smashes, a single emoji, or the comment “kudos” are all that is required to satisfy the author, all that is required as tribute—all that is required as payment to keep this economy healthy.

I’m not condemning the comments that are keyboard smashes or emojis or a single kind word. I receive them. They make me happy. If anyone wants to leave such a comment on my fics, I’m really grateful for it. But this is not community-building. This is a transaction. In @yiiiiiiiikes25’s excellent response in the post linked at the beginning, they point out that “you have a cool hat” is something that is “perfectly nice” to hear from someone—and it is! We all want to be told we have a cool hat! But as they go on to say, what builds community is interactions that are deep and specific, interactions that are rich in quality, not in quantity. A kudos or a comment that says only ❤️are lovely things to receive, but they don’t build community.

My reaction, when I see people begging for kudos and comments as the only means by which to keep fandom community alive, is very close to @eleadore's. I want to say, “No. Readers do not need to comment or kudos. Believe not these hucksters who claim to know the appropriate method of fandom participation. Participate as you feel able, or not at all; nothing is required of you.”

I’ve been told before (several times) that I’m not qualified to participate in such discussions because I am an established author who has some fics with very high stats. It doesn’t matter that I have also been a new writer with almost no one reading my fics. It doesn’t matter that I still write in new fandoms where no one in that fandom knows me. It doesn’t matter that I, like any human being, still care about receiving recognition and attention and praise.

And maybe that’s correct. I personally don’t think that billionaires have a place in deciding the direction of the economy, and--if we're really going to consider fandom an economy--in fandom terms, if I’m not a billionaire, or even a millionaire, I’m definitely in the infamous “one percent.” So, just as no one wants to hear Elon Musk say “money isn’t everything,” maybe it’s not my place to say “kudos isn’t required, actually.”

That said, I’m not the only one who has a problem with the stats-based discourse around fandom community. However, the main counter-response to this discussion I see goes something like this: you shouldn’t be writing fic for validation. If you’re writing for attention, you’re doing it for the wrong reason. Authors should write fic because they love it without any expectation of return.

This is, in my opinion, missing the point of what is meant by fandom community.

I wrote fanfic before I knew that fanfic, as a concept, existed. I read books; I wanted them to be different; I wrote little stories for myself with new endings, with self-inserts, with cross-overs, with alternate universes. I did it for myself in the 90s. It never occurred to me that anyone else would do this, much less that people would share.

As @faiell points out—creating and sharing are two different things. I created fics for myself, but I decided to share them in the early 2000s because other people might like them, too. And of course, I wanted to hear whether other people liked them. How could I not? I might decorate my home just for me and not for anyone else’s preferences, but when people come over and say my house is nice, how can I not enjoy that? And if a lot of people think my house is nice, which encourages me to post pictures of it online, isn’t it understandable I might do so with the hope that more people will say my house is nice? And, honestly, if no one is appreciating my pictures, I probably won’t continue to go through the trouble of taking them and posting them. I’ll just enjoy my house that I decorated without sharing, the end.

When I found out there were whole fannish communities where people discussed canon and tossed ideas around about it, made theories and prompts and insights into the characters, fics they had written and recs for other fics and analyses of fics and art based on fics and fics based on art—I wanted to be a part of that, too. Now, sometimes, I write fic not out of an internal need to do so but out of a desire to participate in that community.

The idea that we write fic only for the love of it, then post it only because we possess it, is a process entirely centered on the self. It’s fandom in a vacuum. The idea that we share this thing, that we feel pleasure if someone likes it but feel nothing at all if no one says anything about it, that it’s completely okay to be ignored and unseen—that’s not what a community is either. That’s some weird sort of self-aggrandizement through self-effacement—because yes, there is often a weird kind of virtue-signaling in this kind of discourse.

I say this as someone who has virtue-signaled in that way: “some people write for stats, but I write for myself.” It’s bullshit. Sure, I write for myself, but why post it on the internet? Honestly, said virtue has a whiff of the capitalist machine, which would like you to produce for the sake of production, work for the sake of work. The noblest among us expect no recompense for that which they give!

The reason that I’m bringing this back around to capitalism is that capitalism actively works to dismantle community. The reason that folks are out here pleading for “engagement” in order to “pay back” authors for the products they give us “for free” is because people no longer even have the language to discuss how to participate in meaningful community. And frankly, how to build back fandom community, in the face of enshittification, is getting harder and harder to see.

But I do think that if we value fanfic and the fanfic community, it’s really, really not constructive to judge whether someone’s reasons for writing fanfic are valid. It’s also weird to me that it would be considered wrong that someone’s reason for sharing fanfic is because they would like to receive some recognition for it, when in fact that seems to be the most natural reason in the world for sharing something so private and vulnerable with the world.

Let’s go back to that idea of how hurtful it is to find out your fanfic is trending on tiktok without anyone from tiktok saying anything to you about your fic, or how it can be painful to find out there’s a secret discord channel dedicated to your fic. The people who respond to that with, “Ah, but you shouldn’t be writing to get attention!” are missing the point. The fic did get attention. It got lots. Attention obviously wasn't why the writer was writing--they were writing to participate, and they didn't get to. At all.

However, if your conclusion is that the author was upset because these particular stats were not accruing under this author’s profile, thereby preventing them from achieving the vaunted status of BNF and influencer—I don’t know, maybe you’re right. But I don’t think that’s why I, personally, have been hurt by these things, and I doubt it’s what hurt the people in these posts either. They’re hurt because they want to participate, and they have been systematically excluded by the very people they thought were part of the community they thought they could participate in.

Sure, if those folks from tiktok and the discord server all came and showered the author with kudos and comments that said “kudos,” the author might have felt satisfied enough with the quantity of this recognition that they would continue writing. But in the end, this still does nothing to address the problem of fandom community, in which the deep, meaningful recognition, interactions, and relationships in fandom are getting harder and harder to have and to build, as a result of how people now expect to engage in online spaces.

So, how to address the problem of fandom community? You probably read this long, long post hoping that I had an answer, and for that I must apologize. I don’t have solutions. My intent was to be descriptive, rather than prescriptive. I wished to outline the problems that I’m seeing in what was hopefully a slightly new or at least thought-provoking way, rather than offer solutions.

But, now that I’m talking about being prescriptive, maybe I can offer one suggestion, which is—maybe the solution to this isn’t about prescribing behavior. I do understand the irony in writing a prescription saying we shouldn’t prescribe people, but I’m going to write it anyway:

Maybe we shouldn’t be telling anyone the appropriate reasons for writing fanfic or for sharing it. Maybe we shouldn’t be telling readers they need to kudos or need to comment. If we’re going to go pointing fingers, we should be pointing at the institutions of capitalism that have made the internet what it is today—but I don’t think that’s going to solve the problem either.

But I do think that describing this problem, understanding what it actually is, not blaming readers for it and not blaming authors for it—I do think that helps. The discussion I linked at the beginning of this post is what I think of as the fandom I miss, the fandom that's now harder and harder to access, the fandom that is dying. That fandom was a social space where people had opinions and disagreed and went back and forth and gazed at their navels and then talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In the words of @yiiiiiiiikes25, it was a fuckin’ discussion about hats. And we’re hungry for it.

#fandom #long post #fic #feedback #comment culture

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fading-event-608 · 5 months ago

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It’s thanksgiving in us and black Friday tomorrow. I do not participate in either, and I hope you do not too. But if you do, I want to remind you that there haven’t been a safe day in Gaza for over a year. For this thanksgiving many in Gaza would be lucky to be warm or sated, and I'm not even going to talk about safety. Falastin’s family (and many more) will be thankful to have ANYTHING on the table today, and with the current rates of donations they will, and I promise I’m not over exaggerating, freeze or starve to death.

Her family has endured more than 50 displacements now and has had many family members martyred since last October. They wanted to buy another tent and waterproof materials in September* but they didn’t get enough donations (they are forced to spend what they have on food) and now they are starving.

Last time the campaign met the daily goal of 500 USD was 22 days ago - a goal that was meant to be a stepping stone. And this week they didn't even raise 400 USD so far. If you are not familiar with prices in Gaza or Falastin’s campaign you may think that it’s a lot, but it’s very far from the truth. Prices in Gaza are still rising, aid is getting sparser (just like the world's attention to Palestine) and they need all the help they can get to feed 26 people. Even 1 or 5 dollars can help since it will push the campaign up in the algorithm on gofundme.

Donate via Gofundme (in SEK! check rates below please): LINK

$5 CAD = kr39 SEK $5 USD = kr55 SEK €5 = kr57 SEK $10 CAD = kr78 SEK $10 USD = kr109 SEK €10 = kr115 SEK $25 CAD = kr195 SEK $25 USD = kr274 SEK €25 = kr289 SEK $50 CAD = kr390 SEK $50 USD = kr547 SEK €50 = kr577 SEK $100 CAD = kr780 SEK $100 USD = kr1,094 SEK €100 = kr1,155 SEK

Donate via PayPal (in USD): LINK

Incentives:

raffle for a hand-made Palestinian thob LINK (from 50 USD)

commissions from me (from 15 USD) - LINK for an example.

Please match/up my donation from 3 days ago if you can.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vetting info: #282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [here], #957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [here]

Falastin's account - please visit and reblog.

*the post says 24 family members but on oct 6th this year Falstin's cousin was martyred and his 2 orphaned children are now in their care.

#falastin #free palestine #thanksgiving

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retrosabers · 4 months ago

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𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

FICMAS DAY 3: GIFT-GIVING

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: as bucky’s secret santa, you’re determined to give him the best christmas present he’s ever received.

contains: grumpy buck fluff, some angst, idiots who are crushing hard, swearing

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this is a long one i’m apologizing in advance

i am SO SORRY for crickets in the ficmas department the past week, i hit a big brick wall with this and i’ve been so all over the place with my own holiday planning and such that i ended up having to cut the masterlist in half because i knew i couldn’t get it all done. i’m very sorry to anyone who was looking forward to what got scrapped, but i couldn’t bring myself to rush through writing and put out something i don’t believe it my best work.

also, do people even want avengers fix it fics anymore?? i debated between the “everything is fine the team lives at the compound together” vibe and setting this post tfatws, but ultimately decided the former was easier to write. and i think it worked in my favor because this turned out really cute :)

!! divider by @strangergraphics !!

FICMAS MASTERLIST

your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest.

who’s idea was this again? wanda? tony? steve? it didn’t matter anymore. all that mattered right now was that you didn’t pass out in the elevator. a feat that was becoming more and more difficult the closer you got to your destination.

a secret santa is supposed to bring you joy, not near paralyzing anxiety.

at first, you were 100% on board with participating in a gift exchange. as much as you wanted to shower all of your teammates with presents galore, not everyone shared the same sentiment, and thus the idea of a secret santa was proposed.

excitement courses through your veins as you reach your hand into the cheap santa hat tony grabbed from god knows where in storage, with little pieces of paper containing the names of your fellow avengers. you decided to wait until you were back in the privacy of your room to open it up, afraid of any wandering eyes taking a peak. the last thing you wanted was the element of surprise to be stripped away. it was half the fun after all.

as sam pulls the last name, you quietly excuse yourself and all but rush upstairs, too eager to get in the holiday spirit and brainstorm. as soon as the door shuts behind you, you hurriedly reveal the contents of the paper.

if it’s natasha, i can get her a pair of ballet slippers. she’s been mentioning how she wants to start dancing again.

what about bruce? maybe a journal for all his ideas? he always seems to be losing sticky notes in the lab.

a million different ideas swirl around in your head, reminding you just how much joy this time of year brings. to you, there was nothing better than seeing the gleeful looks on people’s faces when they opened their gifts. the corners of your mouth turn up at the memory of your first christmas with the team. how shy and reluctant you were, afraid of going overboard. now, a few years later, you’re completely unabashed in showing just how much you care about them.

your bright smile morphs into a deep frown as you unfold the paper.

bucky barnes.

quite possibly the most difficult person you could’ve chosen.

to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with bucky. he may be a bit grumpy and standoffish, but it’s with good reason and you know it. that also doesn’t change the fact that he’s going to be impossible to try and shop for.

what do you get for the man who seemingly despises anything the modern world has to offer? the same man who you’re 99% sure hates your guts. come to think of it, how did you even pull him? he most definitely wasn’t downstairs 20 minutes ago when everyone scribbled down their names and tossed them in tony’s direction.

it was irrelevant now. you were stuck being his secret santa, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give james buchanan barnes the best christmas gift he’s ever gotten in his century-long lifetime.

the two weeks it took to come up with an idea sure felt like a century. if it wasn’t for the concerning amount of snooping you did, you’d probably be showing up empty handed. thankfully, at almost 1 in the morning on a random tuesday, a lightbulb went off in your brain. you scrambled bright and early the next day to go shopping, and by some lucky form of divine intervention, you acquired the perfect gift.

flash forward to now, and you’re carrying an insanely large box up to bucky’s room. in a blatant stray from what the rest of the team was doing, you decided to give him his present one on one, secluded from everyone else. partly because you were afraid of public embarrassment if he hated it, and partly because you knew bucky wasn’t very fond of being put on display.

you hope he’ll at least be grateful for that.

when the elevator finally chimes, signaling you’ve arrived at the dormitory floor, the box nearly slips from your grasp. not just from how heavy it was, but from the nervous sweat coating your palms.

the hallway is quiet enough to hear a pin drop, save for the faint sound of christmas music playing over the speakers. with careful, calculated steps, you make your way down the length of the corridor, dragging your feet the closer you get to bucky’s room. there’s a small part of you that hopes he’s downstairs in the gym, the kitchen, the backyard, anywhere but here. dropping and dashing wasn’t what you had in mind, but the anxious thumping of your heart was becoming unbearable. you know it will only amplify tenfold if you’re forced to stare into those steel blue eyes of his. the thought alone sends a chill down your spine.

you freeze in place when you hear the sound of a door knob clicking open.

please be wanda’s room, please be wanda’s room.

in front of you, the very last door on the left creaks open, revealing the tall and brooding super soldier whose company you were aiming to avoid.

it’s easy to forget how handsome bucky barnes is when he normally does nothing but grimace in your direction.

you still weren’t used to his new haircut, but it was clear he felt significantly more confident with it. is that a hint of aftershave, or cologne? whatever it was, the scent fit him perfectly; cedarwood with a hint of spice. the green henley he wears fits snugly against his broad frame, emphasizing all the muscles you’ve been caught staring at on more than one occasion. for once, he’s not wearing a scowl, though that changes when he catches sight of you.

surely you must look strange, standing dumbfounded in the middle of the hall with a box covered in santa-printed wrapping paper and a big bow that you can barely hold. right now the floor opening up and swallowing you whole was at the top of your wish list. and st. nick better make it quick.

bucky’s expression shifts from one of disdain to curiosity as he quirks a brow wordlessly. your own knit together in frustration, knowing you now had no choice but to do this exchange face to face.

“need any help?” he questions monotonously. as much as you want to be prideful and reject it, your arms feel like they’re going to fall off any second. he seems to catch your drift despite a verbal response, because in the blink of an eye he’s striding towards you, sweeping the gift from your arms and into his own with ease. you try not to gape at the way his biceps strain against fabric.

you stutter out a “thanks,” as you straighten out your sweater. bucky grunts in return and eyes the package in his hands cautiously. you’re half expecting him to shake it like a child when you catch the tiniest twitch of his upper lip.

it’s the closest thing to a smile he’s ever shown in your presence. something that gives you the courage to actually form a sentence instead of continuing to gawk at him.

here goes nothing.

“this is for you, actually,” you manage to shakily breathe out. bucky halts his observations, a glimmer of surprise briefly dancing across his face.

a beat of silence passes between you. “don’t remember asking for anything," he finally says. it’s still laced with his typical dry sarcasm, but there’s a legitimate amusement in his tone that can’t be missed.

you narrow your eyes at him playfully, feeling a little bit more at ease now that he didn’t completely rebuff you.

“i’m your secret santa, smartass,” you jab with your hands on your hips.

for the first time ever, bucky smirks at you.

“don’t recall asking for that either.”

you throw your hands up in defense, offering him a surprisingly nonchalant shrug. “don’t blame me, i’m pretty sure steve was the one who put your name in.”

“punk,” the man grumbles. he shakes his head, attention turning back to the present in hand once more.

despite his apparent annoyance, you can’t seem to stop yourself from continuing on.

“i know you’re supposed to do this kind of thing with everyone around,” you start off shaky, afraid of upsetting him any more than you may already have. his gaze immediately falls to you upon hearing your voice.

“i also know you’re not a big fan of being the center of attention,” you continue, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jeans. “figured you’d like this better if it was in private.”

bucky’s features soften. his jaw unclenched, his eyes not so narrow and judgmental. he looks relieved, flattered; a myriad of things you can’t name or place.

“i appreciate that,” he admits, suddenly shy and impish. for a second, he completely forgets about the gift you brought. the simple fact that you were kind enough to consider his feelings, despite how cold he could be to you, makes his heart skip a beat.

you simply nod your head in reply, teetering back and forth on your feet awkwardly trying to decipher your next move.

“you don’t have to open that right now you know.”

he sets the box down on the floor next to his door. “kinda defeats the purpose don’t you think?”

you shrug. “whatever you’re comfortable with. doesn’t matter what you’re “supposed to do.””

why did you care so much about his comfort level? he hardly showed any concern for yours. the notion consumes his thoughts, prohibiting him from offering anything except a nod of acknowledgement.

that awkward silence comes once again, signaling maybe you’ve overstayed your welcome, or that the moment of peace is over. you check your watch in hopes that father time was ending this exchange for you.

just your luck, he’s right on schedule.

“i uh, better get downstairs,” you announce, pointing your thumb in the direction of the elevator. “don’t wanna miss thor forcing everyone to do christmas karaoke.”

a noise akin to laughter snorts out of bucky’s nose, evoking a delightful warmth in your chest. it was different than all the other times you’ve been flustered in the presence of the super soldier. this was less about intimidation and more about…camaraderie. now wondering if maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

it’s exactly what you need to reignite your holiday cheer and shed any remaining worries.

before you can second guess, you turn on your heels, closing the gap between your bodies. wrapping a hand around his arm, his metal arm, and offering a gentle caress, the sincerity in your words is clear as day.

“merry christmas buck.”

your touch burns straight through vibranium all the way to his chest. across his entire body, igniting every cell ablaze. a fire consuming him in ways unimaginable.

and yet. he enjoyed the burn.

as you pull away, much to his dismay, the tips of his fingers brush against the inside of your wrist. goosebumps errupt on your skin, from the cool metal, or that fact that bucky was so pretty this close, only time would tell.

“you too,” he murmurs with a faint grin. the soft crinkles by his eyes are likely going to be the subject of your daydreams for the next week.

you flash him a smile over your shoulder before turning down the hall and averting his gaze, not wanting him to see just how much you were blushing.

while unbeknownst to you, bucky was now a very bright shade of red.

he waits until he can hear the elevator doors close before slipping back into his room and very carefully unwrapping the box. there’s a nervousness in his stomach that’s unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. as the bare brown packaging becomes exposed, he begins ripping back the numerous layers of packing tape. you really took your time on this, he thinks to himself.

that funny feeling only amplifies when he sees the contents of the box.

a record player, a very expensive looking one at that, sits inside with another three wrapped items that he concludes are vinyls, judging from their flatness. on top of it all, there was a small note shrouded in luxe stationary. bucky’s heart stutters when he sees his name scribbled delicately in your handwriting.

his fingers falter briefly before he digs into the envelope.

i know this isn’t like the ones from the 40s, but it’s the closest thing i could find. also got a few of your favorite records, and one i think you’ll like too. don’t forget i have quite a collection of my own in case you ever want to try something new.

merry christmas ♡

bucky unceremoniously plops down on the edge of his bed. the normally stiff feeling mattress now mirrored a sea of clouds and feathers. he’d gladly sink into the abyss of softness, if it meant pumping the brakes on his thundering heartbeat.

from the moment he met you, bucky knew he was in trouble.

you had an aura about you that was magnetic, always drawing people in and bathing them in your light. your unconditional kindness and consideration, hell, even your mere presence in a room seemed to liven it up entirely. it was a hypnotizing, almost dangerous thing for the man, and if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was to push people away. for their sake, and his. bucky was certain that once he started keeping his distance, that you’d eventually give up in trying to crack his tough outer shell, or that the silly feelings he had would disappear.

but right now, as he’s staring at your handwriting and rubbing his thumb repeatedly over that little heart, he knows it was all in vain.

later that night, he stares up at the ceiling, listening to the familiar croon of it’s been a long, long time wafting from his present. he tries to focus on the beauty of the song, or the lights he can see from his window twinkling out on the lawn, but it’s nearly impossible. you’re the subject of all his thoughts. have been since the moment he saw you standing out in the hall. from the scent of your perfume to the little intricacies of your penmanship. the thing that’s plaguing him the most, however, is your hand on his arm.

bucky’s real arm had been gone for over half a century, having stopped experiencing phantom limb syndrome ages ago. yet somehow he felt it there, clear as day. the same tactile sensations on his flesh, right arm, in the metal prosthetic of his left. an electric shock that he’s never recognized before, and that he wouldn’t be opposed to feeling again.

tomorrow, he plans to thank steve for mischievously adding his name into the lottery.

and to ask you about your record collection.

thanks for reading! <3

tag list: @alastor-simp @j4desblurbs @pandapetals

!! if you would like to be tagged in the rest of the ficmas blurbs, please send me an inbox message or leave a comment !!

#retrosabers #sid writes shit #ficmas #ficmas 2024 #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #sebastian stan

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helianthus-tarot · 21 days ago

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RELATIONSHIP: Your main challenge in forming relationships + advice

This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships. I also included some advice 💗 Keep in mind, it's a spectrum: some of you probably experience these problems only mildly and occasionally, some of you may seriously have these problems, some of you may not have any problems. You can also ask about your person if you want, as in, their challenges in forming relationships.

I posted the extended version on my Patreon which includes your challenge in maintaining relationships! There are other 100+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon so definitely check it out! ✨💗❤️

Disclaimer: Here | Instagram: Here

Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

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PILE 1

Your main challenge in forming relationships and advice: Ace of Pentacles Rx, 10 of Swords, 10 of Wands, 4 of Swords, Death. Justice, The Star.

I feel like you just... don’t want to form relationships. A lot of you find forming relationships a burden, like something that is more trouble than it’s worth, something that only leads to problems and stress and a lot of work / effort that might go nowhere or that could end up pointless. There is this heavy, jaded, exhausted energy coming from you with regard to relationships. This attitude might have been influenced by your past experiences with people. Some of you have had enough of it. Some of you feel like you have experienced and seen the worst in people, their dark sides and vices, and it just feels all-around burdensome. Because to form relationships, you feel like you have to go through those stages of ascertaining whether you can trust this person or not, what their flaws are and how these might affect you, and so on and so forth. So you just overall feel kinda reluctant to initiate, to bother.

If you read this reading, then either you’re curious or you do have the desire to form relationships. And if it’s the latter, what makes it difficult for you to form relationships—besides your own reluctance and exhaustion—it's also because you take relationships extremely seriously. You think and consider a lot of things; even before a relationship starts, you have considered how it might end, you have thought about A to Z. Many of you are overthinkers, some of you are just the type of people who take things seriously.

So it's heavy from the very beginning for you, which just adds to the cycle of your avoidance and reluctance in forming relationships. Some of you may also be the one who rejects people before people can reject you; or you reject yourself on behalf of those people (you believing that there’s no way you guys are compatible, so you make that decision alone without the other person’s input and stopping the connection or not being that responsive when people want to form something with you).

Some of you are reluctant to form relationships because of fear of betrayal and being hurt; there are some kinds of past ghosts that are haunting you here. Some of you restrain from connecting and forming relationships with people because you think your past is simply too heavy to share with people, people wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t be able to connect with you because of it, so you just don’t bother, you keep to yourself. Some of you prefer to watch from the sidelines, observing people and their relationships instead of actively participating. This whole thing kinda makes you feel alone and distant from people. Some of you have gotten used to that solitariness, so you might be okay or you might say you are okay, but the solitariness probably didn’t start by choice.

The advice for you is to embrace not knowing. It’s not that you shouldn’t take things seriously; some of your principles have value in them, you’re right about some things and you are encouraged to follow your boundaries and your wisdom. But it’s also perhaps better if you let go of that heavy energy from the past that makes you think too hard and too deeply about these things, that makes you worry and try to foresee the possible end of your connections. You are asked to surrender more to the flow of life. Less controlling and more experiencing. If you think your past is simply too heavy for people, let people decide that, they can make their own decision. Relationships require two or more people to work; so do your part, and let them do their part; make your decision and let them make their decision.

And if they reject you, or if they can’t handle that part of you, if a relationship doesn’t work, learn to trust that Life will lead you somewhere better, to people who can accept you the way you need them to. You may not know who matches you well if you don’t try at all, the Universe may not be able to send the right people to you if you don’t bother at all. So if you want a relationship, put effort into forming them.

Things may not work out, but it doesn’t mean your effort is useless or wasteful, each ‘failure’ or each time things not working out, believe that you are being redirected to a better path forward—further and further. Sometimes we take detours in life, sometimes we stop by somewhere and meet some people before each of us continues on our journey. Don’t worry too much about being hurt; trust that you are smart enough to discern connections that have value for you and ones that don’t. And trust that you’ll be okay even if it doesn’t turn out the way you initially wanted it to.

You may want to be balanced in your approach, though. I’m not telling you to throw yourself into a life of a socialite and make a connection with everyone you meet. Justice here feels more deliberate, it is careful, it is principled, it is knowing, it is fair. You know what relationships you like, what can be good for you; those are the relationships that you are encouraged to give a chance to. Be deliberate about it, then let go. Put effort, then surrender and let things flow, let things come to be. Balance. If it doesn’t work out, figure out what went wrong, then try again. Hold the gentle optimism of The Star, its calm openness and trust in the workings of Life in your approach to relationships.

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! What are your main challenges in maintaining relationships? Are there differences? 🤔📝 I also included advice! There are other 100+ fun and juicy readings on Patreon, do check it out! ✨💞

PILE 2

Your main challenge in forming relationships and advice: 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, Judgment, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Swords. Strength, King of Pentacles.

You got three similar cards as the previous pile, so if you’re also attracted to Pile 1, this is probably why. The difference between your pile and the previous pile, is that in your pile, there’s more intention or desire to form relationships. You do want to form relationships. It’s just that, you usually seek to build long-term, secure, significant relationships. There's nothing wrong with that; but in this kind of world where a lot of people have fleeting interactions and behave more like rest stops with each other, it can be difficult for you to form the type of relationships that you want.

What I meant by ‘rest stops’ is that social interactions and relationships these days are more like you are just stopping at a rest stop before you move on with your journey, instead of building something long-term or lasting. And because you want something of value—something that will stay in your life, an actual relationship instead of just fleeting social interactions or acquaintanceships—there’s this contrast with how some parts of the world behave.

Which can make you feel a bit alienated. Some of you may feel withdrawn. This is like someone who wants a marriage but they exist in a community that practice casual sex and don't think about marriage at all. I’m not saying either of those is wrong, but they’re just different. There’s this mismatch of needs and goals, and this mismatch leads to your difficulty in forming relationships. Because while you may seek something more lasting with someone, that person may not; regardless of what their true reason is, it can make you feel down about it when you realise they don’t have the same goal and intention.

Some of you may feel depressed, especially if you have put effort into forming and nurturing a relationship, but it’s not being reciprocated, the relationship just doesn’t form, for whatever reason. Some of you may also internalise this as your fault, or your lack of value / worth, or something along these lines; you might have put effort into introspecting as to why it happened to you, and what you did ‘wrong’, what wasn’t enough, what you didn’t understand, etc. This may have kept happening to some of you, despite your effort to form relationships.

When we look at the advice cards, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. You are not doing this wrong. Some of you may come into connections quite intensely, as in, you genuinely seem like you want a connection to stay and you put effort into it right from the very beginning, but this can push away the people who are more comfortable with easy-going interactions and relationships that develop ‘naturally’ (without much effort). I’m not saying your approach is wrong, but your approach may work and may not work with some people. So just keep that in mind. There are specific people who match you, and there are people who don’t. That’s just how it is.

The cards are telling you to hold on to your principles and your standard, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting long-term relationships that add value in your life, so stand by that desire. Live your life with integrity and by your own principles. But remember to be gentle with yourself if things don’t work out, if you realise the other person doesn't seek the same thing you do; just calmly state your boundary and continue being who you are and don’t internalise that rejection. There’s value in your standard; it works for you, it fulfils you, it keeps you feeling safe and secure, you know what you need, there’s no reason to sacrifice it if you don’t want to, just because people want something more casual and fleeting from you. Keep being who you are, the right people will see that and be drawn to you.

Some of you may want to drop your defence a little though; you may be a bit too strong and intense about seeking what you want, the problem is some of you may have looked down on other people while you do this; as if other people are less or inferior for wanting something more casual or wanting something different. So just be careful of using your pride in your standard as a defence against the negative feelings you feel when people reject you. Because if you come into a situation acting like you’re more high-quality than other people, it doesn’t really make you look good.

Just take it easy, be soft and firm about your needs and desires if people approach you. If people reject you, then take it in stride, don’t lose your cool, and no need to reassert your stance. You know the way some people respond when they feel rejected? For example, they upload a public status vaguely addressing a specific situation / person saying “oh I don’t need low quality connections anyway”. That doesn’t look nice especially when people know they react that way because they feel rejected. Avoid doing things like that.

PILE 3

Your main challenge in forming relationships and advice: Knight of Pentacles Rx, 4 of Swords Rx, The Hermit, 9 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups. 6 of Pentacles, King of Wands.

There’s back-and-forth energy here. It feels like a lot of you don’t really know what type of relationships that you want, or you haven’t really decided, or you are confused, or there’s something here that doesn’t feel that grounded and clear and committed. It feels like sometimes you want relationships, sometimes you don’t; sometimes you act like you do welcome relationships into your life, but then you disappear and go off doing who knows what lol.

A lot of you are independent. Some of you are solitary, meaning that you like spending time alone and you are used to spending time alone. You may also give off that vibe, like you don’t need or want relationships. Sometimes, not only you give off that vibe, you act like it, you act in a way that does not help you form relationships with people; for example, you distance yourself, you don’t stop and chat with people, instead you just do your own thing, you interact with people warmly but then you don’t start anything with them anymore for weeks despite meeting each other every day. It feels like that. It feels like sometimes you are there, sometimes you are not, most of the time you are not.

Some people can sense that you are warm, or you have the ability to give yourself emotionally to other people, that you can interact with people just fine and you can connect with them just fine, but it’s like there’s not much long-term effort being put into it. Some of you don’t try hard to form relationships in your life. Some of you may participate in fleeting social interactions more than you actually put effort into forming long-term connections with people. So naturally it can make it difficult for you to form relationships. Some of you rely on Fate too much, like “eh, if it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out”, yet you may have not put much effort to make it work to begin with.

People who chose this pile are probably people who have more acquaintances than actual friendships. Some of you are introvert; you may not socialise much, or you may not even have many acquaintances; the social interactions you have with people are very brief or surface-level. For some of you, there’s emotional connection between you and people you interact with, but at the same time it feels like there’s still a barrier, some kind of distance, some kind of solitariness that is difficult to breach or pierce through for relationships that are more substantial to form and develop.

For some of you, I think you may also be kinda picky with whom you interact or form relationships. You may choose your friends well; you choose who you want to have more interactions with and with whom you prefer to keep it brief. For some of you, there are a lot of thoughts that you put into it; you just know what type of people you can get along with and who you can’t. You may also have a side to you that is more philosophical and deeper and cerebral, which you don’t often show to people for some reason, despite the fact that this part of you is very integral or important to who you are.

So when you don’t share or show something so integral to your identity or personality, it can make it difficult for you to form lasting emotional connection with another person, simply because they can’t see you for who you are and you end up not feeling like you connect well with them. You may feel like there’s always a part of you that feels distant from people, which people cannot relate to or cannot reach. You want people to reach that part of you but at the same time you may not act like it.

Advice for you is to decide what type of relationships you want if you haven’t decided yet, be purposeful about this. And once you have decided, seek those out and put effort into them. Grow them. Nurture them. Give to the other person / people. Meet them halfway, don’t leave them hanging. Steer the situation or the connection in the direction where it can grow; for example, this is a simple example, answering their questions in a way that they can comment on your answers instead of just saying “yes” or “no” that can immediately end the conversation.

Make plans with them, offer them something that can allow them to be more integrated or more involved in your life. It’s like playing football; you kick the ball and then they kick the ball back to you. Actively give yourself to the relationships. For those of you who are independent, who are used to living a solitary life; giving yourself to another person regardless whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship may be a bit difficult. You have to be involved and be willing to start a give-and-take dynamic with people. You may also need to be more consistent with giving; some of you are quite sporadic in your approach so this may need to change if you want to form relationships.

PILE 4

Your main challenge in forming relationships and advice: 7 of Cups Rx, Ace of Cups Rx, The Magician, Strength, Ace of Swords. 3 of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune.

I don’t think you have problems forming relationships; I think your issue is probably that you are quick to drop relationships the moment they don’t fit your idea, or visualisation, or the moment they don’t look exactly how you want them to look right away. Some of you have high standards, and you seek people who fit these standards exactly the way you want them. Some of you are just waiting for your manifestations, while not interacting meaningfully with anything / anyone else.

There’s curiosity here; so you have enough openness to interact with people, this can keep conversations going, you may seem or are genuinely interested in the other person. It’s just that you may expect to see the other person’s authentic self quickly through these interactions, and this may not happen, simply because some people take time to open up; so whatever they show you in these moments may not be who they truly are, but you make decisions based on these moments.

A lot of you also probably seek intellectual connections; but again, some people may not be that open that fast, so they may seem intellectually incompatible with you when in reality they may actually be compatible, they just don’t show themselves as early as you do. I’m not saying you are wrong, we should make decisions based on what is clear, however, you may go about this quite fast, like you don’t have much patience to wait and linger and let people unfold. You can move on or just drop people and move to the next interesting person / thing.

For some of you, you are interested in people as concepts, instead of being interested in the emotional aspect of relationships; people are interesting intellectually to you, some people may pick up on this and may be emotionally restrained as a result; they could feel like you’re treating them like an experiment subject (I’m not saying you do, it’s just that some people may put up some walls when they realise the other person is trying to figure them out without being fully emotionally invested in them). Some of you find it very easy to form relationships, that this kinda makes you slack a bit at times; you don’t put much effort and you don’t care if you lose a connection because you know another opportunity / connection will appear.

Some of you are interesting people, talented and skilful, you stand out because of your skills and who you are; so you naturally attract people, which adds to this ‘carelessness’ that you have with regard to forming relationships. Others of you use your skills and talents to attract people, you don’t give much of your emotional self to people, you contribute more cerebrally, intellectually; the issue here is relationships may require emotional connection and investment. So while you can form relationship through shared interests at first, it disintegrates right after because you don’t follow it up with much emotional investment. Basically, relationships can form but they don’t properly form, like a shape that comes into being then immediately disintegrates the next second, and repeats.

Advice for you is to put effort into forming relationships but at the same time, let them develop. There should be balance. Some people take time to unfold; so let them unfold, take it easy, slowly build upon the connection in a grounded and practical way. For example, there’s no need to have a deep conversation right off the bat; you can start with a conversation every few days, and then gradually getting deeper and more frequent. Be patient with the flow, be patient with people, be patient with Life and yourself when things don’t work out exactly the way you want it to be at the time you want it to.

There should be a give and take between you and the other person; there’s something you should contribute and there’s something that they should contribute in building this connection. Make plans with people, include them in your life. For those of you who are just waiting for your manifestations, all I can say is that sometimes other relationships are important too, they can lead you to your manifestations. The thing about people is that they connect you to more people or more opportunities. Manifestations can happen through people, especially if it’s a relationship that you are trying to manifest.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarotblr #tarot readers #tarot community #divination #pick a picture #love relationship #free tarot readings #future spouse #pick an image #free tarot #pac #love tarot #self love #healing #shadow work #spiritual healing #spiritual journey

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peanutheaddd · 23 days ago

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Chronic put that beast into a situation disease (Au.. Deets.,. Under cut........)

This is another au thats Extremely canon noncompliant and Extremely self indulgent . the level of neurodivergency ur abt to witness is gonna go through the roof. bear w me here. Goling so bad

This au takes place in the us in like the early 1960s <-- guy whos fucking crazy

greg was an anthro dog in this au but it doesnt change much abt thim . everythingis basically the same he was js bipedal sometimes and its mostly so he fits into the social hierarchy i made tf up (era typical social hierarchy w anthro animals being at the bottom and barely considered individuals w autonomy; legal protections for them are basically like that for regular animals . socially they are considered different from animals but they lack any legal protection . also prejudice ! )

greg + knight were childhood friends and got drafted into the vietnam war tgth basically when it first begins so like the mid 1950s . u can see where im going w this. (they get blown up on the battlefront and sewn tgth)

cue era typical cultural homogeneity and dman hiding the fact that hes half human so he doenst yk get reported for being a commie bc hes different (mccarthyism L) . he js passes off as an anthro dog

petey is an artist and the main plot of the au kicks off bc he gets a commission to create a series of pieces meant to be unsettling and disturbing

at this point of his life hes forgotten his original passion and love for art and hes basically entirely in it for the money .

he tries to look for inspo by js going around and trynna find disturbing shit (not hard bc this is the 1960s) but none of it gives him inspo .

this is asko how he first meets lil petey . hes js a homeless orphan basically and when peteys poking around in a ghetto to look for inspo he happens to meet lil petey and he keeps following him around and bothering him LOL .

i think the ghetto lil petey lives in is similar to great depression ghettos and petey spent much of his early childhood in the great depression (born early to mid 1930s) . so lil petey reminds him a Lot of himself when he was younger

at some point lil petey gets his hands on peteys art stuff and not only does he have a lot of fun w drawing but petey can tell hes Really talented bc his art is Really good for his age . at that point he takes lil petey under his wing as an apprentice of sorts

anyways hes hitting dead end after dead end w inspo until he finds dm ☝️☝️

im thinking dm and lp meet first somehow and lp keeps hanging out w him until one day petey finds him while hes hanging out w dm. and thats how petey meets dm .

i think when theyre talking (dm writing) in their first meeting dm tries to subtly scratch at his stitches but peteys sees and hes like Oh. ohoho . now This is gonna be disturbing.

so he basically js asks dm to be his muse . and dm has never had this happen before but hes like ok!! bc hes dm LMFAAAOO so atp dm doesnt know that petey knows hes a hybrid

cue petey + lp + dm hanging out mostly so petey can keep trynna get sketches in and get inspo .

dm is an active participant in the anti vietnam war movement . his involvement in that is what gets him involved in various other civil rights movements .

this is also how he meets sarah . shes 100% a reporter for some movement. GOD BLESS!! ohhhh god the way the media was used by civil rights activists is Insane btw 💔💔 Insane Insane. Anyone else feeling normal? Haha

also chief was friends w knight and greg but was also like kind of a higher up to them during the vietnam war . he also eventually gets involved in the civil rights movement through dm esp bc hes a black man during this era 😭😭😭

petey tries to deny it but dms involvement in the civil rights movement is Very worrying to him esp as the govt gets more aggressive in their protest suppression methods

but anyways eventually the plot gets to a point where petey physically Cant see dm in a disturbing or unsettling light and everytime he tries to paint him he paints him . Beautifully. Lol. this puts him in a bit of a sticky wicket bc atp hes alr promised his commissioner smth fucked up w a hybrid creature

im thinking eventually petey tells the commissioner to eat shit and he just leans into the beauty completely . its a completely unprecedented way to portray a (seemingly) anthro animal + i think it kicks off smth similar to the black arts movement

im thinking petey himself never gets directly involved in the civil rights movement bc hes js not that typa guy but he keeps painting and hes implicitly involved in the movement basically

social + cultural importance aside its also Really gay to paint dozens of Beautiful portraits of the same guy . dm doesnt think much of it esp bc petey keeps saying hes his muse while petey is like I NEED HIM

frogor to mention peteys part of a biker gang . they dont rlly cause any major trouble they kinda js ride motorcycles and shoot the shit LMFAO . the gang consists of the cat jail cats .

Okay thats abt it i think.

#my art #dogman #petey the cat #dog man #petey #detey #lil petey #dm muse au #Not normal abt the 20th century i fear. Oh god 20th cnetury hsitory I LOVE YUO . send me ur fave 20th century fun fact I NEED THEM #dm aus

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