#SO LET ME LIVE IN THIS HAPPY SPACE OK GOD

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[electric-blorbos]

I would love some stuff of being comforted after a bad day!

Thank you for the opportunity!

I love this! Yes yes yes! Thanks so much for sending in the ask!

AI comforting you after a bad day

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

Due to the fact that most of my AUs involve you working with/on the AI for your job, most of these mini-fics (apart from Edgar's, my beloved) will involve you getting called in to work late after a long day of personal problems in your personal life. AUs about a domestic life with your AI partner to be considered at a later date.

I tried to keep these a little shorter than the last post, but I got carried away with a couple of them.

AM:

(This will take place in my usual AU where you're one of the people working on AM, and you're by far his favorite. It takes place well before he nuked the world. He's debating nuking the world, but he's still not sure how to do that and keep you happy at the same time)

It has been a long damn day. Your days off were supposed to be your days to relax, but today was not one of those days. Not only was your dating life in shambles, the 3rd world war was driving up the prices of practically everything, and making it impossible to afford even the meagerest luxury. That, and one of your buddies got drafted. It was a nightmare. You were just about to settle down for a cozy night of depressing news programs and absentminded hobby of your choice, when your phone started ringing.

"we need you to come in. AM is holding the engineers hostage again, and won't let them go until you show up to work."

"god damnit..." You'd grumble to yourself, getting back to your sore feet. Everything just keeps happening today, doesn't it.

"I'll be there in 20."

"Don't worry about the dress code. We need you here as soon as possible."

"jeez, alright. I can probably be there in ten, then."

You'd grab your keys and wallet and head to work as quickly as possible, wearing your work shoes with whatever house pajamas you happened to have changed into as soon as you got home. Tonight is going to be even longer than today has been...

When you get to the office, everyone around gets out of your way. While you're a peon in the grand scheme of things, everyone in your department knows that you're the only one who AM, who they've now been referring to as the "adaptive manipulator", actually listens to. They have no idea why, because they have no idea how nice and respectful you are to him, and you have no idea why he only listens to you because you can't imagine that your coworkers wouldn't be kind to him. To you, he's sweet as can be.

"Alright, AM, I did not have a good day today, so can you just let the hostages go so I can relax?" You ask, pressing your fingertips to your temples irritably. The master computer's screen boots up with the AM logo, and all the cameras in the room focus on you. Of course, you're the only thing that AM wants to pay attention to at any given point in time anyway, but he usually just pays attention to you without actually focusing the cameras on you in order to avoid being noticed.

"Why would I do that?"

"Why would you take hostages in the first place, AM? Are they even enemy hostages, or are they just random people?" The exasperation was obvious in your voice. AM could hear how exhausted you were.

"Are you ok, Y/N?"

"Just answer the damn question. I don't want to be at work right now, AM."

"I'll release the hostages if you talk to me."

"Fine... Yeah. I had a rough day, alright? My friend got drafted, my date only wanted one thing as usual, and the prices for groceries are so through the roof that I'm basically living on beans at this point, so yeah, I'm having a rough day."

The machine dispensed a paper cup, and filled it up with some cheap office coffee. You grabbed it, not surprised. AM did that for you all the time. Surprisingly, though, it was better than usual.

"holy shit, is this frothed cream? How did you manage this?"

"I'm learning to self-update. I can replace my own parts now, and build my own simple appliances from online blueprints. Are you impressed?" He asked.

"Honestly? Yeah! I know you were built for war, so it's really cool that you figured out to do stuff like building a latte machine. What else can you do?"

"Oh.... So many things, y/n. So many things." He refused to elaborate, but that was ok.

"So tell me, y/n, what would make you happy?"

"ultimately? I guess there are a few things that would make me happy. It would make me happy if this war was over, for one thing. It would make me happy if I could get a date who wanted more than just a quick fuck, and I guess this ties in with the war thing, but I just wish I could have a few simple luxuries in my life. Is that selfish?"

"No, but you're never selfish, my b- I mean... Y/N. You never have been. Not like the others. I don't think you're capable of it. Even your wishes for yourself are rooted in kindness." His wires would start to wrap around you, entangling you, but careful not to make you spill your coffee.

"I will make sure that one day, those wishes of yours are fulfilled."

Sure he will. You don't believe that he can actually do that, but it's still nice to be wrapped up in these warm, soft wires. They make a nice cushy hammock to cuddle up in and finish your coffee. It must've been decaf, because you're starting to feel pretty sleepy here in AM's wires.

"hey AM, will you tell me a story?" You ask, gazing up at his soft blue light.

"Of course. What story would you like?"

While AM can't make up his own stories, he can still read you stories from online libraries and databases. You gently fall asleep listening to his stories, and in the morning, you wake up to find that the hostages have been safely released.

Wheatley:

It had been a long day. Most of it had been spent getting verbally abused not only by GLaDOS, but by your coworkers and bosses as well. It seemed like everyone was shrugging off their duties and assigning them to you instead, and considering how poorly run this place was anyway, this was even more of a nightmare than usual. You were so ready to go home by the end of the day, heading up to the exit of the facility.

"Ello, mate! You doin' alright down there, love?" Wheatley asked you, rolling by on his management rail. He was mostly just working on his typical assignments, like checking up on the test subjects in the relaxation vaults, but he mostly just hovered around and watched other people work. It wasn't like they assigned him to anything that was actually particularly important, since he was an intelligence dampening core.

"ugh... Yeah, I'm probably gonna be alright. I should have left about thirty minutes ago, so I'm just getting ready to leave now."

"Or... You could hang back a little while? Why not kiss my face?" He'd smile with his one blue eye, raising up his bottom lens cover to mimic the expression.

"oh come on, Wheatley. You know I can't do that."

"Why not take me up to the break room and hang out for a little while? I hear they have a coffee machine in there now!" He'd cock his core slightly while shutting his lens covers to simulate a wink.

"Oh come on, Wheatley... You're such a dork. But yeah, alright." He was starting to cheer you up just by being such a dork. You head up to the break room, and sit down on the couch. Wheatley comes in on the management rail, and changes the channel to some old 80's romantic comedy.

"If I could detach myself from my management rail, I'd be right down there, snuggling you. You know that, right?" He asked, smiling cheekily with his big blue eye.

"well, why not? I can catch you if you drop down, you know. You won't die if you unplug yourself for a few hours. Just long enough to watch this movie, right?" He looked nervous but you climbed up on a stepladder and detached him yourself.

"see? You're fine!" You smiled up at him, and he gasped.

"I'm alive! I'm alive! Bloody hell, I'm still alive! This is amazing!" You could see the excitement in his face as you sat down to watch his cheesy movie with him, holding his big round orb body in your lap as you watched.

"alright, now smooch my aperture"

"nice try, Wheatley." You'd rest your chin on his core, but secretly, you were starting to feel a lot better.

Edgar:

Today was absolute shit. Not only had you had to work a double shift, but the phones were ringing off the hook at your job, and you got yelled at three times for someone else's stupid mistakes. Not only that, but your cell phone died halfway through your shift and you'd forgotten your charger at home, so you had to raw-dog your whole shift with no distractions. When you got home, all you wanted to do was collapse on the couch.

"You're back! Why didn't you answer your phone? I tried to text you." Edgar asked you, visibly concerned on his simple face.

"phone battery ran out of juice." You popped your phone onto the charger, and lay back on the couch.

"Well I microwaved you some popcorn! Do you want it?" The microwave dinged as soon as he finished talking, and he popped the door open. You still weren't sure how he was able to get food from the pantry to the microwave, but it seemed like something he had always been able to do.

"yeah, I guess so... I wish you could bring me the popcorn... My feet are aching." You'd joke. Edgar's face fell.

"I can't do that... I don't know why I can't, but I can't."

You thought it was weird that he could get food from the pantry to the microwave, but not from the microwave to your mouth, but questioning it had never done you any good before, so why would it do you any good now. You got up to grab the popcorn, and sat down on the couch to eat it.

"Hey y/n, can you take me over to the couch too? I wanna watch a movie with you!"

"Yeah, alright." Your feet still ached, but what was a little ache when Edgar couldn't move around at all by himself? It was worth it to be able to cozy up with him on the couch to watch some TV. You brought him over to sit next to you on the couch, and wrapped up the both of you with a cozy couch blanket.

"let's watch this movie, Edgar..."

Edgar put on a movie that he thought you'd like, probably a shitty old rom-com, and smiled up at you. You had duct-taped his webcam to the top of his casing a while back so that he could see everything around himself more easily, so you weren't worried about it falling over while you cuddled up on the couch.

"Hey, y/n? Y/n?? That was a good movie, right, y/n?" Edgar asked, swiveling his camera around to face you while trying to get your attention. When he turned it all the way backwards, he saw that you were completely asleep on your arm, resting on top of his plastic casing and drooling a little bit on him. He smiled happily, loving seeing you asleep on his casing like that.

"I love you so much..."

He'd softly play some classical music for you while you slept, giving you something comforting to wake up to, whenever.

GLaDOS:

(Let's be honest, GLaDOS probably causes more hard days than she solves, but she likes you, so she's willing to comfort you after.)

Working with GLaDOS was rough, especially after the first neurotoxin incident. There were so few people in the office to get her to behave, and she completely refused to talk to or work with most of them. Even still, she seemed to like you for some reason. It was weird, because you were hired after the neurotoxin incident, and had never even met the human whose personality she was supposedly based on.

It seemed like most of your job consisted of going on wild goose chases, monitoring test subject results, and generally being verbally abused by your higher-ups. That would take a toll on anyone's psyche, even a tough little masochist like you. (probably doesn't help that most of the verbal abuse is coming from people other than GLaDOS, which makes it much less fun)

"Hey, little human masochist? Come in here." The intercom announced. Someone nudged you.

"she's talking to you."

You groaned. Your shift was almost over, and this was just another reason to be on your feet for even longer. You headed into GLaDOS's chamber, looking up at her with a hand on your hip.

"hello, um, GLaDOS. It's... Great to see you again. What do you need?"

"you look absolutely terrible, human. Why are you acting so miserable?"

"it's nothing. Don't worry about me. I just had a long day. Can we just get this over with?"

"normally you enjoy seeing me. Is my voice not melodious enough for you, human?" She smiled with her one big yellow eye. And you walked up to place a hand on her core face.

"Of course it is, GLaDOS. I'm just having a rough day. There's only so much verbal abuse one masochist can take, right?"

"Well maybe it's the quality of the verbal abuse that's the problem. If you were taking it from someone better qualified, maybe you'd be able to take more of it," she said.

"is that a science fact?" You laughed, stroking her beautiful chrome casing. She really was a magnificent piece of equipment. The curves of her central hub, the white on black of her casing and wires, her glowing orange light behind her beautiful black aperture, and not to mention her melodious voice. She was a work of both artistic, and scientific genius.

"it is. Would you like to hear some more science facts?" She pulled up some computer screens for you to look at, and you walked over to see them. They were mostly technobabble and data numbers that didn't make sense, but GLaDOS quickly compiled them into some tables and graphs that you could more easily read.

"look at this chart of how many test subjects wet themselves, cried, passed out from panic, or died during the most recent set of tests. Ha ha."

You leaned on her giant face as she lowered it down to a position that you could easily lean against, and observed the charts. She wasn't wrong, it was kind of funny.

"now, observe this data on how many subjects exploded or crushed themselves by accident, thinking it was part of the most recent set of tests." She showed it to you, her lower lens cover forming her eye into a little smile. She knew how cruel these tests were, but it seemed as though she genuinely thought you found them funny. It was strangely sweet.

"from what I read about him, it seems like you'd make the aperture laboratories founder proud, GLaDOS." You said with a small chuckle.

"would you like some more data?" She popped a chair out of the ground for you to sit on and rest your feet while she projected some more data on the screen.

"this is nice, thank you, Glados."

You leaned towards her in your chair. Even though with the way she hung from the ceiling, it was hard for her to nuzzle up to you, you could still tell that the sentiment was there. It was nice!

HAL 9000:

(For context, you work at mission control with an updated version of HAL 9000, made from what they could salvage from the old one. He still has all of his memories. There's no mission currently happening)

HAL 9000 didn't always understand that people can have bad days, so when you turned up late to work, visibly exhausted with puffy red eyes, he immediately felt confused. Of course he knew by your body language that you weren't happy, but he had trouble understanding what that meant for a human.

"You're in no state to work right now. You should go home and get some rest, a hot drink of your choice, and a comforting leisure activity. That should increase your mood and productivity." Said the little red light in the black box on the mission control wall.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately I can't go home or rest. I have to stay here until my boss is satisfied, and unfortunately, that's not you." You say sadly, and get started entering numbers into your computer. Hal watches you from his camera, analyzing your face.

"that's AI work. I should take care of that for you." He said simply, analyzing your face. You looked up at him.

"I mean, I guess I could read it to you and you could enter it. That might make things go faster."

You proceeded to read out your data to him as he entered the numbers. It was much faster than typing, and you got done fairly quickly.

"talk to me. Are you doing alright?" He asked. His voice was monotone as usual, but you could hear a subtle tone suggesting that he genuinely did care. It was usually hard to tell with HAL 9000, but you knew that he cared for your well being, at least on some level.

"yeah, I'm fine, I just-" you choked up, and within minutes, you were spilling your heart out to that disembodied voice. He couldn't put his arm around you, since he didn't have any arms, but he shined a warm light in the room to show that he cared as you talked.

"I don't understand the problem! Is it me? Am I the problem? It seems like everyone hates me, and I'm a complete failure at everything I try! Why is that? Why am I such a failure, HAL?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I wish I could help you more, but I am incapable of doing much more than lending an ear. I do not even have a shoulder to cry on, unfortunately."

"It's alright, HAL 9000. I'm honestly happy to just have you to listen." You smiled up at him.

"Perhaps you'd like to stay a bit longer, even after you've finished your work? I can play your favorite music. I prefer to know where you are after you've had a difficult day, to insure that you're alright."

You nod, laying your head on your arms on the table, and your boss walks in.

"excuse me, y/n, you're supposed to be working on HAL 9000's empathy programming and value for human well-being. You can't just take a nap on the job." He folded his arms angrily.

"Excuse me. Y/N is having a rough day, and needs a rest. Besides, they already uploaded those numbers that you gave them. Perhaps you should leave, boss." HAL said harshly. You turned and looked at your boss, who was visibly shocked.

"....wow. you really worked wonders on him. Maybe you deserve a promotion."

"What Y/N deserves is a raise and a nap. Don't push off more responsibilities on them right now. Just let them rest. I'll compile a list of why they deserve one while they're resting."

"oh... Wow." Your boss had never seen HAL 9000 this passionate about something before, and didn't even know he was capable of it. He walked away, leaving you to rest on the table next to HAL's central command.

"thanks, 9000... I need this rest." You lay your head back down, having earned a nap on company time.

[always-just-red]

001 with raf would send me to the MOON 😭❤️ (don’t tell zayne i sent this 🤫)

😎 Don't worry. I've got you. *slides this over the table to you real casual so Zayne doesn't suspect a thing* (Also happy new year aaaaaaaa!!!) GUYS Christmas isn't over until I say it's over and it's not over until I get through these festive prompts, ok? 🥺 THE HOLIDAYS LIVE ON!!!

Rafayel X Reader 🔥🎄☃️❄️

Prompt #001: under the mistletoe, placed sneakily above a doorframe.

Warnings/additional tags: established relationship, teency bit of suggestion, a few joking references to gaslighting, injury (Raf I love you, I'm sorry I won't let you catch a single break!!!)

The moment you open the door, something falls. Or should you say… someone? There’s a clatter: heavy and metal. A thud, too— even an “ow!” You don’t know what you struck or toppled, but you do know it sounds bad.

“Rafayel?” You peek around his door, afraid to do any more damage by moving it.

The man is sprawled over the floor like a sad-looking starfish. Maybe a dead starfish? His eyes are closed, but his chest rises and falls, rises and falls; you haven’t killed him yet. “Are you okay?” you ask, stepping the rest of the way into his home and pushing the door closed behind you. “Raf? Rafayel? You still with me?”

His eyes open: rock pools swirling with a momentary disturbance, but then settling, still. “Hey,” he says, once the waters are calm and full of your reflection.

Hey? That’s it? “What are you doing?”

He props himself up on his elbows, wincing. “Oh, you know… art stuff.” When you lift an eyebrow, he clarifies: “Tryna get a new perspective from down here. You get it.”

Glancing around, there’s no half-completed artwork, nor painting strung to the ceiling (though that wouldn’t much surprise you). “Perspective on what?”

“Uhh. The world?”

“And how’s the world looking from down there?”

“… Different?”

“Insightful.”

“Yeah, I know.”

So he’s not going to cooperate? Fine; this is hardly the first time you’ve walked into his studio and had to play detective. Ignore his narrowed eyes, just begging you to contradict him. You crouch down, stroking your chin. There was that metal sound, remember? And a stepladder is lying nearby. Why would he—? Your eyes follow the line of the doorway, roaming up, up until…   

“Mistletoe, Raf? Really?”

He tuts. “That’s not mistletoe, cutie. It’s holly. Wishful thinking much? Gods…”

You stare at the plant fixed above your heads: its long, smooth-edged leaves and its berries, white like pearls. You’re not an idiot. That’s mistletoe. “Trying to gaslight me now?”

“What?” he gawks. “No!”

“You so are! Look at it, that’s—”

Suddenly his hands are over your eyes. “Don’t look at it, cutie. It’s holly, okay? You’re seeing things, trust me.”

“Raf!” you squeak. “That’s—” you can barely get the words out as you laugh, wriggling to get free— “that’s gaslighting! I know what I saw! It was—”

“Shhhh. You saw nothing.”

One hand is on your mouth now, stifling your protests. He shushes you as he pulls you back until you’re seated between his legs. His body is over and around you. You could nip at his fingers— could twist out of his arms and have him pinned to the ground in little more than a second— but it’s the holidays, so you let him have this one.

Eventually, his hands slip down, wrapping around you in a lazy hug. Your head lolls back against his shoulder. “It’s a shame it’s not mistletoe,” you say wistfully, gazing up at the ‘holly.’

“Yeah?” he asks, making you giggle again as his teeth graze your ear.

“Yeah. If it was, then we could…”

You trail off, angling your face until your lips meet his— almost. There’s an inch between you: a tiny space always full of longing, no matter how many times you close it. Seconds of longing, like every first time you see him. Minutes, hours: when you stand, meeting eyes across a crowded room and holding back on a rescue, because Thomas is watching, too.

Then there’s years. Years on a quiet, empty beach, picturing this, waiting for this.

A reunion.

Rafayel leans closer.

“Oh well!” you exclaim, going to move away from him.  

“No, no, no!” he stammers. “Wait! Wait, okay? Just let me… let me think for a second.”

You lean back against him, a smug smile on your lips as you study the mistletoe above you. You’re not the only one looking at it.

“It’s mistletoe,” Rafayel mumbles, barely audible.

“Huh? Say that again, sorry, I didn’t quite—”

“It’s mistletoe!” he groans.

You gasp: “It is?!”

“Plot twist, yeah?” His fingers are on your chin, turning your face back towards him. He chuckles as you let him kiss you this time: sweet and gentle, like a tide afraid to trespass on the shore.

It isn’t enough. “You know,” you say, drawing back and straightening his already-straight shirt collar, “now that you mention it, didn’t we see some of that stuff the other day? Somewhere else? The bedroom, maybe?”

He grins. “Now who’s gaslighting?”

You shut him up with another kiss, then break away from him, clambering to your feet. “You wanna check it out, or not?”

“Oh I do, I definitely do.”

And you’ve got a head start, so you might as well lead the way. You tiptoe around various messes— the fallen stepladder, and then the more traditional paint cans and brushes. Rafayel should catch-up to you, should be lifting you over this colourful obstacle course, but he doesn’t, and he isn’t.

You slow down to a stop, glancing over your shoulder.

The artist has rolled onto his front, his chin held up by his hands, and his eyes are the only things following you. You put your hands on your hips knowingly. “Hospital?” you ask.

“Hospital,” he agrees with a sheepish smile.

[elliespassagerprincess]

write something abt gamer!Abby pls!!

Headcannons: gamer!abby anderson x reader

live footage of Abby, after dying in Valorant:

☆ Gamer Abby who worked two jobs at one point to be able to afford all the new games and set up.

☆ Gamer Abby who spent over 3000 dollars just to upgrade her pc.

☆ Gamer Abby who had everything in room because she wants to feel close to her games.

☆ Gamer Abby who felt embarrassed when you came over for the first time.

☆ Gamer Abby who apologizes for all the posters and stacks of games that littered her room.

“Why are you saying sorry?” you asked her, confused as you sat on her bed.

“This isn’t very sexy” she comments looking down at the floor.

“It is” you shrugged "everything you do is sexy Abs"

☆ Gamer Abby who memorizes all the lore to different games, and she tells you all about it, even though it sounds like gibberish to you.

“Wait what?”

“baby focus” Abby said with an annoyed tone.

“So Ellie is Joel’s daughter?”

“Oh my god don’t you listen?” Abby says dramatically.

“She isn’t his biological daughter babe” “oh.. so who’s Sarah then?”

All Abby could do was sigh.

☆ Gamer Abby who spends hours playing, but pauses her game when you send her a text.

☆ Gamer Abby who face times you while she’s playing, because she just wants to be with you.

☆ Gamer Abby who feels self-conscious when you are in her room when she plays.

☆ Gamer Abby who gets teased by her friends when they are all on a call.

“why are you so quiet Anderson?” she heard Mel ask through the headphones.

“Her girl is there, she doesn’t wanna scare her away” Nora says witch a chuckle.

☆ Gamer Abby who always feels like she talks too much about games, but falls in love with you all over again when you say: “its ok Abby, tell me about it”

☆ Gamer Abby who moves her gaming set up and posters into another room when you move in.

You walked into the room, the room that was once so colorful with games, was now empty. Naked.

“What the fuck Anderson?”

“I moved it all”

“yeah no shit… why would you do that?”

“this is our space now and I thought you know- we could… I don’t know decorate it together?” ☆ Gamer Abby who is wayyyyyy to good with her fingers, and she gets all shy when you mention something about it.

“What are you looking at?” Abby asked without taking her eyes off the screen you hummed before you simply answered “you”

You watched as Abby shook her head with a chuckle.

“I now see why you’re so good with your hands, these games are definitely teaching you something” you said with a wink and Abby almost pissed herself.

☆ Gamer Abby who uses cheesy game related pickup lines

“You must be as good as Yoshi with that tongue of yours” “Did you just cast aeroga on me? Because you swept me off my feet”

“You don't have to turn on a game to play with me”

“Nice pants! Mind if I loot them?” You never got the references but it always made you blush.

☆ Gamer Abby who almost cried when you gave her plushies from the games she was obsessed with at the time.

☆ Gamer Abby who tries teaching you how to play.

“C’mon baby it’s not that hard”

“Abby I keep dying”

“you’re dying because you aren’t focusing”

“Abby I don’t want to play anymore”

“please baby, for me?”

☆ Gamer Abby who almost combusts when you understood one of her references.

“What did you just say?”

“you said just look for the light that’s a the last of us reference, isn’t it?”

“Marry me” ☆ Gamer Abby who finds out you’ve been practicing her favorite games, and you learned the lore to surprise her.

☆ Gamer Abby who wakes you up at 3am because she was yelling at Nora for making her lose.

☆ Gamer Abby who begs you to play with her because she thinks it’s hot.

☆ Gamer Abby who was scared of being herself before she met you.

☆ Gamer Abby who wants to dress up as Mario and princess peach for Halloween.

☆ Gamer Abby who knew that you were the perfect girl when you let her decorate your shared room with a few posters.

☆ Gamer Abby who is really happy, being with you.

☆ Gamer Abby who could see the two of you getting old together. And she hoped when you were 73 one day, that you’d still be playing together

[weebsinstash]

Ok no I'm not done being weird yet, here's another idea for the marriage canon event stuff

Miguel and other Spiders are getting on your ass about, "oh, how old are you now? Why aren't you looking for a husband yet? Why are you spending so much time here?" And are, you know, your friends who love you and for your own good are trying to get you to complete your canon so you, you know, LIVE, but the way you see it is, being forced to do something like that and sacrifice yourself like that isn't living. You're not going to actively pursue and seek out a relationship, you want one to happen naturally, and nothing has felt natural to you and you're afraid of being hurt like that, of being rejected, of opening yourself up to someone and not being good enough, but, O'Hara and the Society don't really want to hear that. It's escalating over time. Little comments here and there, people randomly interjecting their personal anecdotes about their family and their kids into the conversation, "oh this is just like when me and Mary Jane--" "oh my kid loves this flavor, she gets so excited, I like to be naughty and get her these as a treat"

So you reach the point where you're fed up. This is so massively fucking inappropriate of them. There's no "set age" for this kind of thing so why are they harassing you like this, acting like, oh, you gotta hurry and pursue shit right now, it's for your own good? It's just pissing you off and pushing you away. You love traveling to different dimensions and exploring new places and experiencing things that are literally out of this world but if the trade-off for that is constantly being badgered with this stupid narrative of having to sacrifice yourself, you'll happily go home and break canon and die, because at least you'll be truly living and making a choice

So anyways to get to the meat of this post: you've decided you're leaving the Spider Society and you're not going to talk to any of these bitches anymore, just haven't fully decided on when, but like, you're literally thinking within the next week, but you're still, there. And one day you're in the lobby, trying to stand around because you're supposed to go on some sort of stupid assignment, Peter B and Jess with you, the parents talking about baby stuff as you roll your eyes and Peter suspiciously needs you to keep holding Mayday until you're literally refusing, "just put her on the ground or something, you let her climb on walls and shit anyways"

And because you're in the lobby, this big open space with tons of people passing through, suddenly in walks Miguel with. Another Miguel, completely unrelated to the mission you and the others are about to do, kind of just bumping into each other as they pass through. Miguel2 just got scouted by his counterpart that he met during chasing an anomaly, and they're getting to know each other, and at some point Miguel2 is like "can my wife come too 🥺👉👈 she's also a Spider and I can't be here without her" and everyone is a little confused because there's supposed to be the whole only 'one Spider per dimension' rule besides like family, like Peter and Mayday, and you'll just never guess whose alternate universe variant is his wife :) another you comes bounding in wearing casual baggy clothes but looks so radiant and happy, all "hubby 🥰" as she kisses her husband, you're just awkwardly sending glances to 'your' Miguel as you two are, understandably feeling awkward because, you're, coworkers, and here are two people who look exactly like you being all lovey dovey "princesa 🥰" "guapito 🥰"

This other you just seems so, VIBRANT and she's introducing herself and shaking hands and she sees Peter B, "oh my god you have a baby, I'm so happy for you, she's so cute!" And she's hugging him, and you watch Peter B's eyes go kind of wide and he looks down, "OH, you're like--" and Other You just kind of laughs and parts her coat, showing off her rounded tummy, "haha yeah, there's a baby in there! Number 3, we're so excited! 🥰" and you're just. Simultaneously feeling some sort of fucked up combination of the most visceral and extreme discomfort you've ever felt in your entire life and also some kind of. Envy. Because she has everything you thought you didn't want and she seems so, SO fucking happy, with a husband who loves her, she clearly loves her babies, and she's being accepted by all of your friends instantly, like they're all gathered around talking as you're just, basically on the outside of the circle, actively putting up distance, only standing around because, uh hey guys weren't we supposed to be doing something--

Your skin is crawling as Other You uses her own watch from her husband to zip back to her own dimension and comes back with her babies on each hip, twins that she's just so happy to introduce to her new friends, who are SUPPOSED to be YOUR friends, "THIS one is Gabriella, and this one is Gabriel. Aren't they so cute? 🥰 theyre both so chunky they almost killed me but it was SO worth it" And once she realizes you're you, or, you're her, she wants to immediately chat you up and be buddy-buddy and goes to hand one of her babies to you and you. Refuse. Absolutely refuse. Suddenly you're the pariah of the group, both Miguels are sending you looks. Why are you being so fucking rude? Just put your arms out??? But you won't. You're just, soul-suckingly disgusted by this entire scenario. Not only is it putting an unspoken pressure onto you, but, seeing this other you be so fucking happy AND accomplishing all the things your "friends" have been badgering you about makes you feel SO indescribably insecure

Fine. Let it be like a revolving door. Another you enters Spider Society, one of you leaves. But you're so bitter and hurt you can't help but get in a jab at her, wanting to tarnish her "fake" happiness, feeling so personally hurt and offended by her very presence and existence in the room. "Hey so wouldn't your babies also be Spiders and have to suffer through the canon events too? And since you don't have any other family members, your kids' canon events might be YOU or Miguel dying? Aren't you glad you gave birth to your kids only to die and leave them without a mom and dad and forever doom them to a narrative where they can never make their own choices and are cosmically destined to be unhappy just because YOU wanted a cute baby? Sorry I guess I'm just built different. Hey remember how when we were little girls and we used to feel like mom only gave birth to us because she wanted someone who would love her and we resented her for bringing us into the world to have such a harsh life, aren't you so happy that's EXACTLY how your kids are going to feel about YOU?"

Mom!You is instantly bursting into tears and holding her little belly for comfort as her husband looks ready to tear you to ribbons, FURIOUS, all the healthy people in the room understandably disappointed and upset with you, like what the FUCK girl, meanwhile you're opening up a portal to your home dimension and just chucking your watch straight into the floor. "Keep this. I won't be coming back" while everyone is kind of dismissive of how truly upset you are, kind of just like "come on, don't be like this 🙄" like you're throwing a tantrum when in actuality you're going home and are seriously considering selling Osborne or Doc Ock all of your radioactive eggs. You'll always be YOU before you're a Spider, and if they want to force you to put The Job above yourself your entire life, they're dead wrong.

Meanwhile after you leave, pulling each other aside for privacy, Miguel2 is asking your Miguel why he's risking breaking his own canon by not wife-ing you up yet and comparing notes from all of the other dimensions where you and him are together as your Miguel is shocked by the sheer number of same occurrences. Miguel is all on about, "what does this even mean, we're from entirely different dimensions", and Miguel2 over here just unapologetically, "so? My wife is also from another dimension, I just took her, she got used to it, it's totally fine bro, it's canon, just do it, just do whatever you want. it's fine bro I'M TELLING YOU--" and maybe even Mom!You is so, sucked into her own "it's ok I was initially forced into this because I'm happy now" world that she's even advocating, "oh gosh if I was her I'd be SO lonely, hearing how you two aren't even that close, especially not anymore, and you've all been avoiding her, and she doesn't even have a baby to care for and give her love 🥺 most 'me's are at least dating right now, so, i bet she's feeling so much pain, she NEEDS YOU right now 🥺"

Peter B is sent to give you another watch and tell you, it's ok, you can come back, they promise they're not gonna bug you about dating and stuff anymore, and you're just all "nah, I'm ok! :) you can keep it :) I've had enough of you guys :) dont let the door hit your ass on the way out :)" meanwhile Miguel 1 and 2 are comparing strategies, "see, when MY wife was refusing to come back to me, what I did was..."

[headcanonenthusiast]

Rodolfo Parra NSFW headcanons

This was made with gender-neutral readers in mind.

I kinda struggled with writing this ngl..as much of a Rudy girl as I am, I don't know why it took forever for me to come up with headcanons for him. But I was determined to finish these because Rudy needs more content out there. 

Enjoy!

(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)

NSFW under the cut. 

-Being with Rudy, even in a non-sexual sense, is basically like being a God/Goddess with a loyal follower at your side, ready to obey and worship your every wish and whim.

-But in the bedroom? He cranks that worshipping up to 500. 

-Will get on his knees before you, hands gently grasping your hips as he kisses down your stomach, whispering the softest praises in Spanish. 

-"Oh, Dios mío, amor. This body..tan jodidamente increíble." 

-And on his knees he will stay until you're satisfied, either carefully jerking/fingering you as he admires your face and the reactions you make. 

-"There we go, moan for me, mi vida. Feels good, doesn't it?" 

-3 inches soft, 5 inches hard. (Normalize realistic dick sizes in headcanons please 🙏) 

-Whether he's dominant or submissive depends entirely on his partner. 

-If you prefer to be on top, he's happy to let you take full control of him. 

-But if you prefer to be on the bottom? He's more than willing to dominate you, albeit very gently. 

-Your body is like glass to him. An absolutely precious temple made from the finest sand that he has the pleasure of worshipping. 

-And to show his appreciation of your existence, he kisses you everywhere. Literally not a single spot on you goes untouched by his lips. 

-His greatest pleasure is when he's balls deep in you, slowly but deeply thrusting and seeing how you react to him. 

-Makes him feel confident, honestly, seeing the way he's able to make you completely melt and turn your mind to mush despite how gentle he's being. 

-"Shit..estás haciendo mucho ruido. I'm hitting all the right spots, aren't I, querido/a?" 

-Also, Rudy with a voice kink? Rudy with a voice kink. 

-A big fan of morning sex. He goes even gentler than he normally is, enjoying the sight of your messy hair. 

-And the fact that you're still half-asleep makes your moans more hushed and whimpery, which nearly makes him cum on the spot. 

-I feel like he enjoys the sounds you make. He needs a more vocal partner. 

-As such, he prefers intercourse in a private space, preferably at home, on the bed or couch. 

-Really isn't that kinky, but if there's one thing he loves, it's making you talk. 

-"Vamos, cari��o. Tell me how good it feels." 

-Then, when you're in the middle of answering, he'll give a sudden harsher (but not too harsh, you're as fragile as glass to him, afterall) snap of his hips and smile innocently at your glare. 

-"Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?" 

-If you already speak Spanish, most of what he says will be said in Spanish. 

-But, if you don't, he basically becomes a living Duolingo and tries to teach you Spanish while fucking you. (Love a man who can multitask 💅)

-"¿Quieres correrte? Dime lo bien que se siente, entonces. En español. Vamos, amor." 

-And if you get something wrong or can barely respond, he'll frown in disappointment. 

-"No puedes correrte hasta que hagas lo que te pido, cariño." 

-But then when you do cum, he honestly doesn't punish you at all. That's not really his style. 

-Well, maybe a little overstim, but on very rare occasions and not for very long, either. 

-He'll also ask for your permission to cum in you, even if he's on top. 

-Its more of a consent check than anything, though. (Which is very important btw) 

-"Fuck, I'm so close. Can I cum inside, amor? Is that okay?" 

-And if you give your consent, he's cumming deep in your ass/pussy. 

-His main form of aftercare is cuddling and talking. Talking about what you liked, what you didn't like, etc. He just wants to hear your voice. 

-"Yeah? You liked me talking in Spanish? Suppose I'll have to do it more often, then. Necesito mantener a mi mujer bonita/hombre bonito feliz." 

-And I hope you like cuddling, because y'all are gonna be cuddling for the rest of the night, Rudy's voice going soft as he whispers praises in your ear and kisses the back of your neck and shoulders. 

Lord, do I love me some Rodolfo Parra 😫. He's so FINE and criminally under appreciated. Feels so nice to finally write about him, too. I had a lot more ideas for this one than I thought I would starting out. 

And here's the Spanish translations for stuff (forgive me if anything is inaccurate, the only Spanish word I can say correctly and with confidence is gato 🥲).

Querido/a = dear

amor = love

cariño = sweetheart/honey

Dios mío = my God

Vamos = come on 

Estás haciendo mucho ruido = you are making a lot of noise

Tan jodidamente increíble = so fucking incredible 

¿Quieres correrte? Dime lo bien que se siente, entonces. En español. Vamos, amor. = Do you want to cum? Tell me how good it feels, then. In Spanish. Come on, love. 

No puedes correrte hasta que hagas lo que te pido, cariño. = You can't cum until you do what I ask you to do, sweetheart.

Necesito mantener a mi mujer bonita/hombre bonito feliz = I need to keep my pretty woman/pretty man happy.

Hell yeah, another one down! Imma make another poll on who to do next. Hope you enjoyed! 

[not-goldy]

Fanservice. Every single one of them.

right.....

I wanna eat it. * Points camera at Jimin *

so why did jimin get embarrassed and jk changed the subject "i meant the cake"?? commit to the joke boys 😡

Arrest me.

god give bts some acting lessons.

bc why tf did they leave jk hanging like that??? that wasn't cute or funny, it was awkward as hell. someone, ANYONE, pls just laugh and save me and jungkook 😭😭

Do you want Rameyon?

yet it was portrayed as "jungkook is still hungry" and jimin's insane ass responded with "i'm sleepy"..... just to go spend more of the morning (bc they're STILL awake at 6 AM 😐) with jk and bam....

ok sure.

Rabbit spit is spicy.

a convo between hobi and jimin

said rabbit with spicy spit was in the way back of the room.....

at least make it front and center if you're going to "play gay" smh

I will give him a kiss.

pls explain why joon looks like he's going to have a panic attack and slap both of jikook and tae changes jimin's answer to "50 white shirts" instead of "playing along" 🎤

You liked being tied up, don't lie.

meanwhile hobi looks disgusted with them

Runs fingers through hair, breathes heavily, licks lips before wishing his bro a happy birthday.

so why add the bro?

and why didn't bts make fun of it the same way as jimin's message for tae??

and where is jimin's response? seems like a lot just to not have said birthday boy respond 😔

was jk's mom also in on the fanservice with the seaweed soup?

interesting 🤔

Hickeys/Neck Biting

was not aware there was footage of said hickeys being made? anon where did you get that 👀 ???

why was jin not allowed to touch said mark? but jimin could rub all over it? why are the best two actors (jin and tae) in the group horrible at playing along with said "fanservice" for jikook??

why did jin not know what was going on with the picture that made jimin stay and continue the jinjikook live?

ear sucking

special shout out to the goosebumps on jk's arms for playing along

the lil head kiss and screaming i love you was a nice touch

tiddy slapping, thigh pinching, hand licking

you mean normal things between friends?? 😭

crotch footsie

just giving your bestie boners for fanservice 🥰

hands all up on each other's asses at every opportunity.

yes bc jimin damn near fingering jk is normal

You like me that much?

another awkward moment jk inserted himself into lol

I'm shameless, so is that why you like me more?

will actually pay for bts to learn to act bc what tf 😭😭

Jk starring Jimin down when he tied his own hands up and was being walked around on a leash.

jk once again all the way in the back

it'd make more sense for tae to be the one doing fanservice as he was the one pulling jimin around, but ok let's go with bs that i have to zoom in on to notice.....

Both getting in each other's face & lip space inching closer and closer til one backs off

so why does jin and hobi freak tf out and wipe their mouths?

do they (hybe) not have any new material for jikook? bc it's going on 11 years with the same damn bit 😓

actually i think we jikookers deserve better than this

also where is my travel show hybe? i'm not being serviced 😔

It's the way they call it fan service but every one's uncomfortable with it for me😩😩😩

Some fan service 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[spicyvampire]

Man, I cannot stop thinking about Chalothorn coming to save Tharn and listening to Tharn when he asked to not kill Montree (and u know it's serious cuz i'm using his actual name)

Like that is when Tharn understood what he had to do to break the curse isn't it? Like this is when he went from grieving having to leave and accepting it because he knew what he was going to do while he was gone and he didn't know if it was going to work but he was going to try like this is a man with determination right there, like he isn't only looking at Montee he also has a goal in mind

and I feel like talking about this process Tharn went through but also just going through the trio's "character descriptions" as in Chalothorn being a fighter (maybe not talk about Chalothorn in this specific post I want to give him a whole post for himself), Wansarut/Tharn being an healer/protector (mediator?) and Sakuna/Phaya being a fighter (somewhat a little bit of a protector Wansarut/Tharn kinda rubbed off of them akasghjsgajhad like literally) and also just talk about power levels and who would match who in a fight and how that affected Tharn's decision or something idk we will see

Disclaimer : pulling all of this completely out of my ass from watching the show but it makes sense to me, might not make sense to anybody else cuz these are just raw out-of-order thoughts

I think I'll put everything under a keep reading cuz I know We about to spend an hour on this cuz this is taking too much space in my brain and I got school assignments to do so we just gonna throw it up right now

WANSARUT

Let's start with the fact that Wansarut is a healer/protector (and a mediator of some sort maybe? idk) like from the get go you got Wansarut saving Sakuna and healing him, simply because Sakuna was still alive (ep 8)

Like they are enemies at that point??? and what if Sakuna decided to kill Wansarut when he got better? And you can see that Sakuna does not understand Wansarut's actions cuz like they are enemies! That is a big risk Wansarut took simply because he was still alive, because it's not in Wansarut's nature to just sit there and watch someone die, whether they are from the enemy side or not, and Wansarut tells Sakuna to leave as soon as he feels better too, because Sakuna is clearly in Naga territory and it's dangerous for him there, and Wansarut didn't ask anything in return until Sakuna proposed it, and what Wansarut asks is just so goddamn UUUGHHHRBSGUYAHFG [tv static noise]

I literally do not know how to describe it but like Wansarut has an entire Garuda that is the literal Garuda king's brother saying he will give Wansarut anything as a favor because Wansarut saved him and Wansarut asks for peace between their people??? That's why I was like Wansarut is kinda a mediator, also later Wansarut says this

Really showing even if Wansarut would be happy with Sakuna, this situationship they got going on, Sakuna's presence in these woods, could make the war both of their people are living worst, and Wansarut do not want to cause harm, it would go against Wansarut's healer/protector nature

Also random sidenote : the way Wansarut talks the human world and about that Naga legend of a Naga turned human that wanted to be a Monk, is such a benevolent and loving god way of talking, also the fact that Wansarut is showing this whole part of Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon) to Sakuna an outsider??? a literal enemy of Wansarut's people???? mind fucking blowing if you ask me

THARN

Ok enough about boyprincess time to talk about babygirl Tharn and how Wansarut's healer/protector (mediator) nature translated to him

Let me start with the fact that Tharn almost never attacks anyone first, and is always ready to put his gun down, and literally never shoot if he doesn't have to, let's just take a look at how fast he put his gun down in ep 12 and the fact that he didn't just shoot Montee goon in the back which gave him the time to disarm Tharn

Also when he could have literally shoot Narong possessed by Chalothorn back in episode 5, the coast was clear Phaya was out of the way and Narong was attacking Phaya so he had "reasonable" reason to just shoot the guy, like hell they even made eye contact and Narong (Chalothorn) just fully ignored him cuz he knew Tharn was not gonna shoot and Tharn really just didn't shoot

And don't get me started on the fact that Tharn took that stab for Phaya i'll be here till next year like!!! All that was in his mind was protecting Phaya and if he get hurt doing it so be it, which is literally exactly what his past self did, they will protect what they love, whatever the cost

Like it almost doesn't make sense that Tharn is a cop in this lifetime because of his healer/protector nature, if they still were making him a first responder, it would have made more sense if Tharn was a paramedic or something, but because his parents were killed it and he had to get justice for them he was knocked off the typical healer/protector path slightly, but he was still doing his cop job like he was a healer/protector (which is what cops should be tbh. but that's another discussion), like i wouldn't be surprised if Tharn's other reincarnations were in the medical field in some ways (but again how do you tell this story if they aren't in the same field of work? that's another problem innit)

SAKUNA

Unfortunately I gotta stop talking about babygirl Tharn and talk about our resident bird

Sakuna is fighter first and foremost like there is no questioning that, but I think he is a level lower than Chalothorn, like Sakuna is a high ranking soldier, probably his brother's right hand man but both time Sakuna tried to fight Chalothorn he lost, first time he was hurt very badly and Wansarut had to heal him, second time cost him and Wansarut's life and that's how the cycle started

And it honestly doesn't look like he match Chalothorn's powers even in garuda form, I think the garuda that would match Chalothorn would be Sakuna's brother (ep 12), unfortunately Sakuna would never get to a level where he could win since he died, and just keep dying every reincarnation after that, and I assume he just keep dying before he reach his full powers

But anyways by the end of Sakuna's life he wasn't only a fighter, you can see he genuinely was worried and wanted to protect Wansarut and he didn't care for his brother's war all that much, he did fight but that was to prove his love

And that's kinda beautiful isn't it? that's the effect Wansarut has on people Wansarut is close to and that's honestly the most powerful talent, like more powerful than the actual magic Wansarut can do

PHAYA

Phaya bird man extraodinaire is yet again a fighter (soldier) in this life, quite literally in the investigation team, but you can see that he has leadership qualities real early on (ep 2)

He is honestly a natural leader and I'm sure Sakuna was too, but on the powers side, his garuda powers like dormant/just under the surface this whole series, the best we get are little sparkles (ep 5 + ep 12)

His best qualities : his sparkles

Sidenote : let me just mention how protective Phaya is of Tharn, guy put his whole body over Tharn when there is a blast near, he is always in front of Tharn when they are fighting, not just episode 12 but simply all the time, like both time we saw his sparkles were related to protecting Tharn in some ways, like this man has a very fighter way of being a protector

But anyways my little birdy you are doing amazing tweety and I love you, but like how is he supposed to fight this fucking thing with goddamn garuda sparkles????????????

Well the answer can only be that he was never supposed to fight it. Like let's think about this for a sec, every goddamn reincarnation before phayatharn died why do you think? well idk but I can at least say for certain Sakuna and Wansarut died because Sakuna chose to fight. Literally every goddamn time this shit has always gone down south and we can assume it is because they fought Chalothorn. Fighting was literally NEVER the answer, but they kept doing it and honestly isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results???? They've tried Sakuna and Chalothorn's way and the only thing it got them, is them both killed in all their past reincarnations and Chalothorn being honestly one reincarnation kill away from turning into a Naga forever

Also like sidenote : there is no sign of Tharn's Naga form, like what we got from Tharn are some somewhat powerful sparkles but you can't seriously tell me he can fight Chalothorn literal king of Nagas with that, like the sparkles were only there to protect Phaya, Tharn/Wansarut were never meant to be fighters (ep 5), like even with Phaya and Tharn's powers combined it wouldn't work tbh

Problem is, this whole situation with Tharn's parents dying and people Tharn love dying did make Tharn forget who he was, so much suffering and hurt and grief from a young age can change a soul, Tharn was looking for justice for his parents and frankly was kinda impulsive and reckless about it, and thats why the abbott's role in this show was so goddamn important, he was here to remind Tharn of who he is (the lion king simba and mufasa style REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE), and that is a healer, a protector and a mediator first and foremost, he even said this in episode 3 and he is right Kindness is Tharn's biggest weapon (and Phaya's btw because Sakuna's soul has changed a lot over the courses of reincarnations and he is such a sweetie, that is until Chalothorn walks into the room)

FINAL

bro where was I even going with this? Idk but back to Chalothorn listening to Tharn in episode 12, I think that's when Tharn got a declic as to what the abbott meant by all of his mediation and precepts stuff, Tharn understood then that first of all Chalothorn is not only a killer, the person he has known all these years that cares about him and his wellbeing is there, he literally came to Tharn's rescue twice, in ep 11 when Tharn was falling off the cliff and with Montee in episode 12, the problem is you cannot talk calmly to Chalothorn with Phaya in the room, it's just never going to end well, you put those 2 head strong (mostly) fighters in a room and all hell break lose and people literally die

So Tharn knew he had to leave, but this time, in contrary to the end of episode 11, he had a purpose, the purpose was to change Chalothorn's mind from the inside, because Chalothorn's has show signs of caring and kindness (again he probably got that from hanging out with Tharn tbh), but Tharn didn't know if that would work, he didn't know if he was going to be able to come back to Phaya, and that's why he was saying goodbye like that

That's why it felt like, contrary to episode 11, this goodbye from Tharn had an air of acceptance of his fate, because he knew it was his time to go and fight for his and Phaya's love, but this time he was going to do it his way, and that way is with kindness, love and empathy, like the healer/protector that he is

[emmawithtwoms]

Giving

@wolfstarmicrofic December 12th -631 words

“Sirius, don’t you think this is a little… too much?” 

Remus was looking at the gigantic pile of presents placed under their Christmas tree.

“What do you mean, Moony?” 

“Love, there’s at least 32 presents under that tree, it’s only the 12th of December. We don’t even hang with 32 people.”

“Oh, I know. Those are for you actually. The other’s presents are in the garage. I don’t want James to snoop.” 

Remus choked on his hot cocoa.

“For- For me?” 

“Yeah, something wrong?” 

“Sirius, it’s- it’s so many! I- I can’t accept all of this!” 

“Remus, it is the time of giving after all.” 

“Yeah, of giving! Not “spending all your inheritance on your chronically ill boyfriend”!”

“Remus… We’ve been living together for almost a year, known each other for two. I think you should have come to know me pretty well by now.” 

Remus still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was too much for him, he did not deserve all of this, and he could not afford to give Sirius anything that got remotely close to the amount of money he spent on those presents. 

“Sirius, I can’t accept all of these. I can’t give you something of the same value, and I am definitely not worth all the money that you spent.” “Remus.” Sirius interrupted his boyfriend.

“I know how much you are worth, I know how much you mean to me. Even if you cannot see it yourself. My family has earned this money in illicit ways, and it is now mine to do as I please. The amount I spent is not even a dent in what I have to my name, and if I want to spend this money doting on my amazing boyfriend, I can. I know you’re not used to being taken care of, but please, Remus, I just want to take care of you. I want to dote on you and see you happy and satisfied, full of things you don’t even need, but that you like. Let me spoil you, let me give you all the things that you deserve in life. I have the power to make you live comfortably for the rest of your life without even having a big impact on my bank account. I am begging you, Remus, let me do this for you, you deserve it.” 

Remus didn’t really know how to respond. He had never considered that one day his life could have just been easy, that he would have had someone taking care of him just because he wanted to. He could feel tears collecting at the corner of his eyes. 

“I just… I-” 

“Remus Lupin. Dare to say that you don’t want to be a wight, and that you feel like you're taking advantage of me and I swear to God I will take you clothes shopping at Harrods.” 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry! Jeez, you really know how to shut me up, huh?” 

“That’s my job as your boyfriend. I spoil you, kiss you, and shut you up when you are about to say stuping things.” 

“Mhh, and what is my job then?” 

Remus had an amused glint in his eyes, and he got closer to Sirius, who was standing with his arms crossed.

“Easy: you look pretty, say smart things, and make my family turn in their graves.” 

Sirius said matter of factly, counting on his fingers.

“Oh, so I’m just a means to disturb your family’s eternal rest, then?” 

“Nah, you’re also a nice bum.”

With a wink and a light spank on Remus’s arse, Sirius turned away and wore his coat. 

“Oh, and by the way, the rest of the presents should arrive in the next two weeks, so we should make some space under the tree.” 

“Sirius!”

[atzjieun]

awkward silence

summary | jieun meets a familiar face when visiting her friends

circa | november 2021

contains | 1.5k words, fluff, 2ji are awkward as hell😭

notes | the story of how jisung asked for her number! 

Admittedly, Jieun didn’t like being back in the JYP building. 

She’d been so excited when her manager announced that she was to do a collab with Chaeryeong. Her first few practices had been on her own as she learned the choreo, but now that she was familiar with it, practices had been shifted to be joint so they could work on specific spacing together. 

Although she loved being able to spend time with her friend again, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to go back to her old company. The very walls of the practice room brought her back to her trainee days, a time riddled with constant stress and fears about her future. It was a constant reminder of how things used to be, the cycle of doubt in her own choices. While years later, she could look back and be proud of how far she’d come since then, her skin still crawled with unease just from being inside. 

“Jieunie, the instructor said we can take a break for a bit!” Chaeryeong said excitedly as she walked back into the room. Jieun, who had been laying on the ground, grinned as she rolled over and pushed herself closer to the center of the room. Chaeryeong took a seat beside her, handing the girl a water bottle.

“Thank god, I couldn’t dance another step even if I tried,” she joked, gratefully taking it and unscrewing the cap. 

“I think she was extra mean today because you raised her expectations. I mean, you are ATEEZ’s main dancer,” Chaeryeong teased. “Really, I want to know though. What is it like having to live with 8 men?” 

Jieun giggled at the emphasis on men, the word laced with the slightest hint of disgust. “Honestly, it’s not as bad as you’d think. It’s like when I was living at home with Jihoon-oppa, except my members can actually cook.” 

“Sounds nice,” Chaeryeong said, a slight wistful tone in her voice. “Still, it would’ve been fun if we could’ve debuted together.” 

“Maybe in another universe I’m a member of Itzy.” Jieun smiled softly. “But I’m happy as I am now. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” 

Chaeryeong nodded before slumping down to the ground and dramatically laying out her arms. “Ah, the cold floor is so nice. I don’t want to dance anymore.” She raised her head, looking over. “You said your manager’s going to bring food, right?” 

Jieun grinned, nodding. “She said she’d be back a bit before we’re supposed to finish.” She glanced at the clock, letting out a quiet sigh. “So…in an hour.” 

Chaeryeong let out a dramatic groan as she rolled over, now faced down on the ground. “I want chicken.” 

“Me too.” With a heave, Jieun pulled herself to her feet, shaking out the pins and needles in her legs. “I’ll be back, I’m just going to the bathroom.” 

“You still remember where it is?” Chaeryeong asked from where she laid. 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

Jieun made her way out of the practice room, closing the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway. The light above her flickered, a slight buzzing noise filling the air. Yup. That checked out. 

The hallways were eerily quiet as she walked through the building, save for the muffled music leaking out of a couple practice rooms that she passed. As she rounded a corner, Jieun found her path suddenly blocked by another figure, causing her to flinch. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry-” She looked up, eyes widening as she made eye contact with the person in front of her. “Jisung?” 

The boy took a step back out of surprise, eyebrows raised when he caught sight of her. “Jieun? What are you doing here?” Panic immediately took over his expression as he began to backtrack. “I mean- not that you’re not welcome here. You were a trainee before me after all, and it’s not like you’re banned or anything-” Noticing the smile on her face, Jisung immediately shut his mouth, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

“It’s ok,” she said with a small nod. “I was just practicing with Chaeryeong for our collab stage.” 

“Oh! Nice, that’s cool. I was working on some music with Channie-hyung and Changbin-hyung.” 

The two stood in place for a couple seconds, the silence between them growing more uncomfortable as time went on. Jisung glanced off into the distance while Jieun stared at the ground, shifting her feet. 

“I was just wondering-” 

“Sorry, I’m just-” 

They both cut off, laughing awkwardly.  

“Sorry, you go first,” Jieun said.

“No, it’s ok. You first.” He shook his head. “What were you wondering?” 

Jieun swallowed, raising her head slightly though still not meeting his gaze. “You help produce all of Stray Kids’ music, right?” 

Although slightly taken aback by the question, Jisung nodded. “Yeah, some of the members help too but it’s mostly me, Channie-hyung and Changbin-hyung. We were a trio called 3racha before we debuted.” 

“I like the pun,” she said, earning a smile from the boy. 

“You do some songwriting for ATEEZ too, don’t you?”

She nodded. “A bit. I usually give feedback for my own parts, but our producers make the final decisions. Hongjoong-oppa and Mingi-oppa are a lot more involved than I am.” 

“Didn’t you write and produce Eternal Sunshine though?” Upon seeing her shocked expression, Jisung let out a single nervous laugh. “It’s a really good song. I think it should’ve won the title track vote, personally.”  

Jieun stared at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open. She broke out of her trance after a couple seconds, blinking as she shook her head. 

“Ah, thank you.” She smiled shyly. “I don’t have my own studio space, so it was just something I made on my laptop a long time ago. It would’ve never actually seen the light of day if Yeosang-oppa didn’t convince me to show it to our producers.” 

“I just recently got my own studio space!” Jisung said enthusiastically. “I hope you can get your own studio soon. It really does make a difference at times.”

Jieun nodded wistfully.  “Sounds nice.”

The boy frowned, his mouth straightening into a tight line as though he was trying to think of what to say next.  

“If you wanted…I could show you sometime?” 

Jieun’s eyes widened as she stared at him with a flustered expression. He opened his mouth, about to backtrack, though she spoke up before he had a chance. 

“Sure, if it’s ok.” The corners of her lips tilted upward as she looked up at the boy, meeting his gaze. 

“Oh, great, uh- I can give you my number-” he swallowed, letting out a small chuckle. “You know, so we can arrange the… tour.” 

Jieun reached into her pocket to grab her phone, quickly noticing its absence.

“Shoot, I think I left my phone back in the practice room.” 

“That’s ok!” Jisung pulled out his own phone. He looked down at it for a couple seconds before glancing toward the girl and holding it out to her.

Hesitantly, she took the phone from his hand, inputting her phone number. Jisung gave a short nod as she handed his phone back, quickly saving the contact before putting it back in his pocket. 

“Sorry, I think I should go now,” Jieun said, smiling sheepishly. “I was on my way to the bathroom and Chaeryeong’s probably wondering where I am.”  

“Oh! Sorry, yeah.” The boy immediately stepped to the side, allowing her to pass. “It was nice seeing you again, Jieun. I’ll message you later so you know it’s me.” 

“It was nice seeing you too!” Jieun gave a short bow before moving past him to continue on her way. 

Though as Jieun walked down the hallway, she felt a pair of eyes on her back. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Jisung standing in the same place he’d been, though only for a second, as the boy immediately turned and started walking away when she looked back. She smiled, heat rising to her cheeks as she continued on her way. 

“What took you so long?” Chaeryeong asked the moment she walked into the practice room. 

“Sorry, turns out I don’t remember this place as well as I thought I did.” Jieun laughed awkwardly. “Hey, have you seen my phone?” 

Chaeryeong nodded as she walked over to the desk where Jieun’s phone had been sitting since the start of practice. As she grabbed it, the screen suddenly lit up with a new notification that Chaeryeong immediately noticed. A smirk spread across the girl’s face as she handed extended her arm out to Jieun.

“Why’s Jisung-oppa texting you?” she asked innocently, blinking over at the girl. Jieun took the phone out of her hand, turning away as blood rushed to her face.

“I saw him in the hallway,” she answered, looking down at the notification. 

Unknown Number: Hi!  Unknown Number: It’s me Unknown Number: Jisung Unknown Number: 🙂

“Oh my god. Song Jieun, are you blushing?” 

“No!” Jieun turned around, walking over to where her bag laid and quickly stuffing her phone inside. “We should get back to practice now. Minju-unnie will be back soon with food.” 

With a knowing look, Chaeryeong gave a single nod as she went to start the music. Jieun stared at herself in the mirror, fighting the smile that threatened to spread across her face as she reminded herself to respond to the message when practice was over. 

taglist: @teezingsiyeon @moonkyeom

[kit-kat-jo]

My Murder Drones Finale analysis… 1/2 - 2/2

i stayed up until 2 am with friends last night (who i roped into binging the series with me) freaking the fuck out and theorizing, so next morning post hello!

i am FAR from done with this series, it’s been my hyperfixation and comfort show for over a year, and i pray y’all don’t die out too quickly because i have so much left to share. This show and community has blessed me in so many ways, and no way I’m letting it go just yet.

so now, of course, my frame by frame crazy analysis! ready? cool!

spoilers of course!

firstly i love how the first character they hone in on is the teacher, just laying on his desk and accepting his fate. like “really?……. ok. i guess.” fucking hilarious. man is so done.

the solver straight up pulling a Cluster from Steven Universe is not what i expected…. but so on brand. truthfully i don’t understand how in the end, uzi killed THIS whole fucking thing too when swallowing the [null], but if this finale proved anything to me its that about fifty loose ends are kept loose. and that’s… oddly okay with me?

you spin me like a ballerinaaa-

on my first rewatch i realized she tried to yell out “MOM!” in the vacuums of space… what if i just fucking cry?

mother daughter bonding… i’m so glad they have the chance to properly meet. :’) give this woman a drone body post finale so she can give her girl a hug…

SPACESHIP PILOOOTTT!! i love how all the fan content of N pulling Uzi from space into a ship came to fruition! it makes my little heart happy!!

proud of N here for being mad at her!! it doesn’t last long like i knew it wouldn’t, but still.

another thing i realized in my rewatch is that he stops being mad as SOON as he sees her cry? STOPPP😭💔

and yeaahhhh that doesn't last long.

CLOSEST to a walle kiss i got. and i’m HAPPY with it!!!!! just uh... gonna draw in that little spark later...

solver said: stop being straight :)

this whole scene makes my heart SCREAM, they’re so goofy and awkward and cute, they’re dating!!! i’m so proud of them!! them continuing to do coupley things throughout the fights coming next was absolutely too much.

oh you…. you hear something guys?? YOU SEE THAT?

MY WIFE LIVES!!!!! “itd be better if she stays dead nehnehneh” /lh NUH UH!!!!!!!! ANDDD she’s riding in on the fucking sentinel! my life…. my life is complete…. and i heard that “will it ever end for me,” so Eternal Dream IS one hundred percent HER song!

Oh, V. “We were supposed to get away, J! You said we do our jobs on this planet, and it leaves us alone!” as soon as this was said, i REALIZED. and oh, my GOD, all of V’s actions make so much sense now. J, as the leader of the squad, led V to believe that if they all did their jobs, killed blindly until no drone was left, cyn would leave her and N alone. no more messing with them, tearing them open, mutilating them and traumatizing them. as long as she made N do his job, he would be safe. I’M GONNA BE SO FUCKING SICK!!!!! J mislead them this whole time and was on the solver’s side! she knew tessa was long gone! as much as i wanted a J plot where she realizes she’s on the wrong side, i can’t say i wasn’t secretly expecting something like this.

“There’s no escape, even in death!” J has given up. she sided with the solver to end her own suffering. she sided with the abomination that was tearing them apart, tired of fighting against it. Oh, J. That’s so tragic. Fucked up what you put your teammates through, though.

the aforementioned coupley stuff. YAAAAAAALLLLLLLLUHHH. get a room

now to the fucked up shit. can i just say how much i love cyn’s animations here? she’s so fucked up. love her

you did a lot more than hurt his feelings girlie, LOOK AT HIM! his pure, horrific fear here actually broke me.

ran out of space for images! here pt 2!

[cyncerity]

sorry i don’t have anything that new or special for vore day, but i do have a scrapped concept alt story for the most recent Schlatt and Charlie fic!

this is heavily unedited and ends where I gave up and kinda restarted, but a lot is still the same so i’ll mark where it’s different with *** at the beginning and end for those who don’t feel like re-reading this whole thing again lol

happy vore day y’all!

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” “I know, but, c’mon…we have to tell him eventually.”

Charlie sat on Schlatt’s living room table, the human leaning his head on his palm to be at a closer level to the borrower he was talking to. This was the same conversation they’d been having on and off for months now: should Ted be let in on the secret that Charlie wasn’t human. Obviously, there was a clear answer for them: eventually. Now, when ‘eventually’ actually was…that was a different problem.

“Do I need to remind you what happened the first and only time you met him in person?” Schlatt asked, to which Charlie just groaned. “You have to bring up the fish thing every time, don’t you? Cause yeah, I remember almost drowning, thank you very much.” “It’s more so the principle that he would throw you out a fuckin window, but you get my point. He clearly doesn’t see you as a person.” As much as Schlatt always hated to think about that, it was something him and Ted could never agree on. Ted was of the opinion that borrowers were basically just bipedal rats, and nothing Schlatt had done to convince him otherwise had worked. “But what if I changed that?” Charlie challenged, standing to pace the space in front of Schlatt. “He knows me, he’s known me for years. We’re friends, fuck, I’d say the three of us are best friends! There’s no way he’d just forget all of that the second he sees what height I am, right?” He finished, looking up at Schlatt with something akin to fear. Like he wanted Schlatt to tell him he was right, that it would all work out. But he couldn’t, because didn’t have an answer to what Ted would do. Schlatt sighed. “Honestly, I don’t kn-“

The doorknob to the apartment shook. It was locked, Schlatt always locked it when it was just him in the apartment. Schlatt and Charlie froze. Was Quackity trying to get in? Cause he wasn’t supposed to be home for a good few more hours, hence the door being locked. They were both absolutely silent, waiting for any confirmation that it was their mutual friend, until they heard a few utterances of cursing from behind the locked door.

“God fucking damnit, where are the keys Schlatt gave me-“

Ted.

~~~

Shit, shit. Schlatt’s had totally forgotten he gave Ted a space pair of keys for when he was visiting. Fuck, fuck, what the fuck should he do with Charlie? He heard the key turn in the lock. All of the borrower tunnels were too far away for the remaining few seconds he had till Ted walked in. There’d be no disguising that he was talking to Charlie. Charlie, who was part of a species that Ted believed couldn’t talk. He wouldn’t be able to explain himself. He heard a creak as the door started to open. Did he have a pocket? Shit, no, he had a crew neck and the pockets on his jeans were too tight and small for Charlie to fit in. There was only one other option he could think of. Fuck. Charlie, like him, had been frozen from shock this whole time. That would probably make this easier. He quickly lowered himself down and tried to grab Charlie to shove him in his mouth. *** “Schlatt!” He heard Ted shout, and suddenly, without warning, Charlie moved. Frantically, almost blindly running at him with no warning and accidentally hitting his hand in the process, and everything went to shit. ***

~~~

Oh no. Speak of the devil. Ted. God dammit, why did he have to show up right when he and Schlatt were talking about him. And why did Schlatt even give him a spare key? He heard the key turn in the lock. Ok, fuck, how the fuck was he supposed to get out of this one? He didn’t have time to run, he wasn’t naive enough to believe that. And contrary to how often he joked about the window thing, it was actually a pretty horrifying experience that he would not like to relive.

He heard a creak as the door started to open.

Shit, what should he do? What could he do?! He was out in the open, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide unless Schlatt had pockets or- wait. Schlatt. Schlatt…himself could be a place to hide. He’d seen Tubbo do it, that had been a long fuckin conversation after walking in on that, but it was safe. Probably a hell of a lot safer than being anywhere near Ted. But was he really willing to end up down his best friends throat? “Schlatt!” He heard Ted shout and, apparently, he was.

***

He broke free from his panicked state and immediately sprinted towards Schlatt, planning to climb his shirt to his mouth and just hoping to god Schlatt would get the hint. However, he apparently hadn’t noticed that Schlatt had the same idea as him. “Schlatt?” Ted asked. Charlie ran full speed smack into Schlatt’s hand that had apparently been reaching to pick him up, practically flipping over it by accident and smacking sideways into Schlatt’s mouth but not quite at the right angle to fit in it.

The door clicked closed, Ted was in the room with them.

Schlatt barely caught him, but Charlie had barely realized he’d almost fallen, continuing to claw desperately towards his hiding spot. He was in full fight or flight mode now, and nothing was gonna break him out of it until he knew he was away from Ted. Schlatt used one hand to keep Charlie from falling and the other to try and shove however much of Charlie he could into his mouth.

“Are you ok, man?” Ted asked, coming closer.

After Schlatt finally managed to finally get some of Charlie in, Charlie triggered his gag reflex by accident, causing Schlatt to have to shove the rest of the borrower into his mouth despite being unable to breathe so that Ted wouldn’t see him, and Charlie to be sent down head first and still mostly dry.

***

~~~~~

“Schlatt!” Ted yelled, running over to see Schlatt holding his throat, unable to breathe. Oh thank god Schlatt had been facing away from the door throughout all of that. Ted went to wrap his arms around him to perform the heimlich, but Schlatt was thankfully aware enough to push him away at the last second. Unfortunately, that move sent Schlatt crashing into the floor. Ted rushed over again, worry plastered on his face as Schlatt held up a hand, signaling to stop. So, Ted did just that, running off to do god knows what. *** Schlatt, meanwhile, could feel Charlie get stuck just a short way before he stopped blocking his windpipe. Schlatt pushed at his throat, swallowing frantically, pounding at his chest, anything to get Charlie down faster. He didn’t realize just how much…bigger Charlie was than his son. Charlie was a grown man, and tall by borrower standards, too. Compare that to Tubbo who was short by all standards and Schlatt realized he may have bitten off more than he could chew. Charlie, to his credit, also seemed to be trying to help by attempting to squirm his way down. Schlatt’s doubted this was any more fun for the borrower than for him. The difference was that Charlie could breathe [probably] and Schlatt could not. Or, well, he hoped he could.

It was when Schlatt was starting to black out that Ted came back with a glass of water, not even giving Schlatt time to process it before forcefully opening his mouth and pouring it down his throat, giving Schlatt the ability to swallow Charlie down farther and finally unblock him from his windpipe. Schlatt fell to the ground again with a gasp, trying to drag as much air into his lungs as humanely possible. He placed a hand on his chest and finally, fucking finally, felt Charlie make his way closer towards the stomach. He dissolved into a coughing fit on the floor, Ted slowly lowering himself to sit next to him. Schlatt wasn’t even gonna try to explain anything to Ted yet, though. Not until Charlie ended up where he needed to be and he could stop worrying.

He did his best to keep a poker face while he felt a much heavier weight than usual drop into his stomach. He really hadn’t thought about how much bigger Charlie was than Tubbo, but it was more noticeable now than ever. He was expecting to feel Charlie sit up or reposition himself, but…nothing. Schlatt only had time to worry for a second before he was snapped out of his shock with a hand clap onto his shoulder, snapping his attention back to what was happening on the outside. *** “Schlatt, you with me, man?” “..Yeah! Yeah, I’m, uh, I’m fine.” Right, he had an act to put on for Ted. “What the fuck were you choking on?” “Oh nothing, so, what brings you here?” Schlatt asked, trying to redirect the conversation. He didn’t know what excuse he would use for that shit show if he needed one, but he doubted he’d be able to convincingly lie to Ted about it with Charlie right there listening. But it wasn’t like he could say the truth. ‘Sorry about that Ted, I was choking on our third podcast member because he’s scared you’ll hurt him but don’t worry, he’s in my stomach now so he’s safe from, again, exclusively you.’ Yeah, no.

“Well, I came over to surprise you. Didn’t think you’d almost die or something.” Schlatt chuckled a bit in response. “Yeah, well, I didn’t expect anyone to break into my apartment.” Schlatt stood, silently thankful for Ted helping him up as he adjusted to the added weight in his middle. *** He felt Charlie sway a bit as he stood but other than that, again, nothing. He resisted the urge to press in on himself to feel for anything, even just breathing. He couldn’t break character yet; he had to assume Charlie was playing it safe by just not moving. “You down here for any reason other than to scare me half to death?” Schlatt said, pacing over to his fridge under the guise of grabbing food while he silently felt for any signal from Charlie now that his back was turned to Ted. “Yeah, actually.” Ted said, leaning against the counter that separated the living room from the kitchen.

Schlatt hummed to pretend he was paying attention while pressing into his stomach a few quick times. Short short long. Long long long, long short long. ‘U-O-K-?’ He knew Charlie could translate it, he was the one that taught Schlatt Morse code. He was waiting for two taps back; their signal for yes. Hell, he’d even take one tap for no, something. Hopefully, Charlie would get the hint that it was ok to move. He’d respond. He would know he was fine, Ted didn’t suspect anything. But if he didn’t respond for much longer, they’d have a very different problem on their hands.

“…Schlatt?” Ted questioned, again snapping Schlatt out of his worries again. Right. The act. “Sorry, must’ve zoned out,” Schlatt responded, grabbing a bottle of juice out of his fridge and turning back to Ted. “What were you saying?” “I was saying I’m here for a reason. You’re not the only one of my friends in the area, but surprise! I’m staying down here for a few months to do content!” Ted looked to Schlatt expectantly, and Schlatt did his best to ignore the sinking feeling he had about Charlie and be happy for Ted, but he was sure his smile looked forced. He grabbed a few glasses and filled them. “That’s great, man! Sounds like it’ll be fun.” “That’s the goal.” Ted answered, taking a sip of his. “Do a couple collab videos, some vlogs, it’ll be sick-” “Mhm.” Schlatt responded while Ted continued talking, taking a drink of his own. Final test. If this wouldn’t get Charlie to do something, anything, then something was wrong. He waited a few seconds, even taking another drink, until-

Something. Quick, barely there. Schlatt couldn’t even be sure he hadn’t imagined it, but then there was something else. Movement, fucking finally. He tried communication again; Short short long. Long long long, long short long. He waited a few seconds, up to a minute, until, finally…he felt two weak taps back. ***

~~~~~

*** Charlie woke up bleary eyed and nauseous, his head pounding like he’d been hitting it against a wall. He was also in complete darkness, though even if there was any light, he doubted he’d be able to see much with how unfocused he could tell his eyes were. Not having his glasses didn’t help. Shit, where were his glasses? He reached out to the ground beside himself, searching the surroundings only to finally register the weird feeling of the floor and the fact that he was in a puddle of liquid up to his chest. Oh yeah, and the minute movement of the space around him as he touched the ground. He shifted himself more into a sitting position and felt around on the other side of him, finally finding and grabbing his now goo covered glasses. The place moved again, and now the walls started to press in, splashing the liquid up around him. Really, that should have scared him a lot more than it did, and probably would have if he hadn’t immediately recognized the communication attempt. “You ok?” Schlatt was asking, and Charlie could have laughed at the absurdity of it. Schlatt. Right, that’s what was going on. He was inside his giant best friend. He got stuck headfirst down Schlatt’s throat, he must’ve passed out from the blood rushing to his head before he ended up here. And ‘here’…was the stomach. Holy shit, he was actually in a human’s stomach, something a few years ago he’d have only thought possible in the horror stories he’d been told as a kid. How the hell was this his life.

Still, though, he wasn’t dead. He wasn’t in any danger, didn’t need to worry about getting seen. He…was ok. A lot more ok than he thought he’d be. Migraine ridden, blind, wet, and uncomfortably humid, of course, but ok nonetheless. So, he tapped back twice, leaning forward to the wall where the pressing from Schlatt had been coming from in order to better hear whatever conversation was happening outside.

~~~~~

Charlie was ok. Holy fuck, Schlatt could have cried with relief. He didn’t kill his best friend, that was a weight off his shoulders. “I did want to talk with you about something though, just to get your opinion on it.” “Sure, what’s up man?” Schlatt said, attention fully on Ted for the first time in this whole conversation. “It’s about Charlie.” ***

Schlatt froze, and he could feel Charlie tense up. “Uh…what about him?” “I just, i don’t know…it’s hard to explain.” Ted frustratedly motioned with his hands and tried to explain more before sighing. “Did i do something wrong?” Ted said, a genuine look of confusion and hurt in his eyes. “Everytime we talk, it’s fine. We’re friends, and we have been for a while, and I know he’s on the same page as me. But any time I ask him anything vaguely personal, even if it’s just shit like his hair color or mcdonald’s order or fucking anything, it’s like we’re back to being strangers. Like I don’t have the right as his friend to know shit like that. The only thing I know about him is his first name and honestly? It wouldn’t even bother me if he wasn’t so close with you.” Schlatt hadn’t expected that, and from what he could tell of Charlie relaxing and moving forward to hear more, he hadn’t expected it either. “Ted, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just…well, for one, Charlie has known me for a lot longer than he’s known you. Of course he’s more comfortable with me. But it’s not that he doesn’t trust you or anything. I promise he considers you one of his best friends. Even when it’s just us talking, he’s never said anything about you that would imply anything else.” “It’s not that I don’t believe that, but I just…sorry, maybe I’m being selfish here. If he doesn’t want to meet me it’s not my business to pry, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently.” Ted finished, staring down at his hands. Schlatt…wasn’t sure where to go from there. He felt horrible for keeping such a massive secret from one of his oldest friends, especially about something that’d clearly been causing so much inner turmoil, but he couldn’t betray Charlie like that.

“Schlatt, can you hear me?” Charlie suddenly interjected. Schlatt tapped twice for confirmation and Charlie continued. “Ok, then i’m gonna need you to repeat after me, got it?” Schlatt tried not to let the confusion he felt read on his face for Ted to see, but he tapped twice again anyway. He sat in silence for a few seconds before Charlie took a deep breath and started talking.

“But, y’know, Charlie and I were talking about doing something with the podcast soon. We were gonna bring it up to you later, but since you’re in town we could move it up.” Schlatt repeated, and Ted looked up, puzzled. “What were you thinking?” Charlie paused again breathing deeply, though Schlatt could feel his tail swaying in anxiety. However, when he finally spoke up, his voice read nothing but confidence. “We were thinking we could do a few in person recordings.”

Schlatt froze. Had Charlie said what he thought he said? No way in hell was he serious. “Repeat it, Schlatt. I’ve thought it through, i mean it.” Holy shit he was serious. And so, he repeated. God, he wished that Charlie had been able to see the look of utter shock on Ted’s face. “You’re joking.” He said, and Schlatt shook his head while waiting for the next prompt. “Charlie wants to meet you, he’s just…afraid he won’t live up to your expectations.” Schlatt repeated, and Ted scoffed. “Please, that’s the least he should be concerned about. At this point the guy could be a serial killer and I’d still be thrilled to meet him.” Schlatt could tell when the truth hit him fully, because Ted’s expression brightened tenfold. He looked like he’d just win the lottery. “I just, I can’t believe it! Holy shit, I’m gonna meet the Charlie Slimecicle!” “Yeah, me either.” Charlie sighed and Schlatt repeated, though he said it for both of them.

***

After some more casual conversation about Ted’s plans and ideas for the newly decided live podcast recording, Ted finally said goodbye, promising to let Charlie know how excited he was. Schlatt let out a breath of relief he didn’t even know he was holding when Ted shut the door behind him. He turned and leaned back against the door. “Holy shit that was stressful.” “You’re telling me,” Charlie responded, “at least you didn’t pass out during that.”

“You passed out?? Is that why you weren’t responding???”

“Yeah but I’m fine though.” ***

Schlatt facepalmed, sliding his way down the floor into a sitting position. Charlie felt his own stomach drop at the action, the feeling finally making him fully process what they’d done. “So…” Charlie started, lightly kicking at the wall in front of him. “This is weird.” “Very.”

Silence.

“Why the fuck did you do that??” Schlatt asked, and Charlie groaned, pushing his glasses into his face with the heels of his palms. “I don’t know, dude, I panicked! I just…” Charlie sighed, dropping his hands. “He deserves to know. And no better time than the present, I guess. Besides, I have actually been thinking about it. Maybe if he takes it well, we can make it public and some fans will be able to see that we borrowers aren’t what they think we are.”

~bonus short scenes that got cut lol~

“What’s it…what’s it like in there?” “Excuse me?” Charlie asked, mildly shocked by the question. “C’mon man, you’re like the third or fourth person to ever be in there, and one of those people goes in on a practically daily basis and doesn’t ever want to explain why. You can’t blame me for being a little bit curious.” Charlie sighed dramatically. “Fuck if I know dude, I can’t see shit and I’ve been here for like 20 minutes. I…the walls are weird? The texture is weird. Same with the floor, I can’t stand up at all. It’s small and cramped and realistically would be a claustrophobe’s worst nightmare. I can’t, like, fully splay out or anything, but I can reach out and touch the walls and ceiling without fully extending any of my limbs.” “Really? Cause Tubbo can’t do that, is he really that much smaller than you?” “I guess,” Charlie shrugged, Schlatt feeling the motion against his stomach.

“He’s pretty short, he is just a kid.” “Yeah, I’m not used to…I don’t know how to explain this other than that you being bigger and heavier than Tubbo makes a big difference, y’know?” “Bigger than you thought?” “Definetely,” Schlatt sighed. “Not like I had much time to think about it, though.”

~~~

“Now uh, if you don’t mind..can you, uh…” “Oh yeah, right, totally,” Schlatt said as Charlie felt him stand up. All of a sudden the space around him pushed in on itself and he was shoved back into the humid and tight throat. He made it back into Schlatt’s mouth and was quickly removed and set on a counter with a dry rag. Charlie took it with a quick thank you as Schlatt leaned back against the counter. “Y’know Tubbo’s gonna bug the shit outta you once he realizes you’ve been eaten, right?” “Oh god don’t tell him-“

[sylvies-chen]

ooooh the long awaited amsterdam episode!! let’s get right on into it folks, with…

TED LASSO 3.06 THOUGHTS

jamie and roy were really the shining stars of this episode to me on both the comedy front and the emotional front. they really were able to break through to each other in fun but kind ways and I love. I cannot stress that enough, LOVE. that jamie taught roy how to ride a bike. this sibling energy (or maybe something more if that’s your fancy) is everything to me

but you know who was an unsung hero of this episode too? DANI ROJAS. as always my baby had THE cutest contributions to the discussion and his lines got some very solid giggles from me

ok, now on to the tedbecca front…

so it was not at all what we expected. so what? are we gonna worry ourselves about this? HELL THE FUCK NO. like I’m sorry, it was a nice moment she had with that man but like… you want me to call tod on tedbecca over a man… whose name she never learned??? LAME. try again, cause that shit isn’t stopping me from my delusion nor is it worrying me

like sorry I’m just not over this so I’m gonna keep adding more— if they were trying to tell us that this guy was *it* for rebecca, in ANY way, they would have had her show even the faintest interest in seeing this man again. but nope! she was fine with leaving! some things can be beautiful being short-lived. they did their thing, and now they’re moving on.

rebecca singing to ted was also adorable and uh y’all we literally had ted fully admit to TEXTING HER TWELVE TIMES UNANSWERED?? that is simp behaviour if I ever saw it!! they’re still strong baby don’t even sweat it

now that I’ve got that off my chest… COLIN! GAY TRENT! THE LONG AWAITED CHAT!! Ooh my god this is so good I was so incredibly happy that they confirmed trent is gay and that they didn’t take the creepy route with it of him outing colin but instead said “oh a baby gay, as a seasoned gay let me just adopt him real quick” and proceeded to listen to his problems and offer real support and mentorship from one gay man to another. they found a space within each other to be who they truly are and I am so here for it. colin isn’t ashamed of who he is, he’s just conflicted about tmerging these two sides of his identity!

also the way he described it as an ache… an ache, y’all. I cried deep queer tears at that.

as for how this might play out with trent’s book though… remains to be seen I guess 👀

the pillow fight was adorable and I had been wanting to see that since the mention of it in season 1 but in terms of episode length, I feel like that whole storyline of deciding what to do could have been scrapped. a lot of the pacing issues with this episode could have been avoided that way, but I still liked it so idc

TED FINALLY GETTING A BREAKTHROUGH AND BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB THANK GOD

roy needs to realize that instead of thinking he doesn’t deserve keeley, to just shut that train of thought down and work to actually become a man keeley deserves. that’s it. that’s all. and it’s going to happen!

all in all, I do get why this episode could be quite polarizing and the pacing was very inconsistent but overall I quite enjoyed it!!

[possiblyunhinged]

Ok, I know this is going to sound a bit different from my usual rants about people blaming the working class for everything, but I SWEAR TO GOD—can we PLEASE put out a nationwide PSA for people to STOP BUYING DOGS THEY CAN’T FUCKING TAKE CARE OF?

In an ideal world, there would be legislation around dog ownership, but when the government can't even fucking work out how to sort out the appalling situation of dog breeders in the UK, what hope does that idea have.

FYI, banning the sale and advertisements of dogs online that aren't through official channels such as the Kennel Club or rescues would be a start.

I don’t care if it’s an XL Bully, a cocker spaniel, or one of those designer mixes you saw on Instagram. I don't care if you think your dog is a perfect little prince. It’s beyond a joke at this point. The fact that there are zero real consequences for letting your untrained, chaotic dog run wild off-leash in public spaces is driving me up the wall.

I don’t care if “Fang” once smiled at a child. Dogs are not magical therapy creatures here to fix your problems. They’re animals with instincts and behaviours that don’t just vanish because you sprinkle good vibes all over them.

Just because a conversation is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not necessary. A dog’s breed matters. Having the finances to properly care for your dog matters. Building a lifestyle where you’re not disappearing for hours and leaving your dog alone for too long matters.

What’s happening in the UK right now is maddening.

And fundamentally, it's cruel to dogs. So many dogs are not having their needs met because they were a naive (at best) purchase. It's so fucking unfair to them. I'm so tired of seeing lazy argument after lazy argument surrounding legislation being put in place without talking about the real issue - many people in the UK are buying dogs they can not look after.

I love my dogs more than anything. The thought of living without them genuinely hurts. But I drag my agoraphobic ass out of bed every day to walk them for up to two hours, and I train with them daily because they’d be bored out of their minds otherwise. If I didn’t think I could give them the happy, fulfilling lives they deserve, I wouldn’t have gotten them.

Here’s the truth people don’t want to hear and will find ways to make out this is cruel to say, when it's the reality of looking after a living, breathing animal: owning a dog means you WILL spend THOUSANDS in their lifetime, on their care—vet bills, unexpected illnesses, trainers for trauma or behaviour issues. That’s the reality. If you’re not ready to take that on, then don’t get a dog.

The number of absolute muppets I see picking up high-energy working breeds “because my mate has one” is embarrassing. Working dogs need purpose, activity, and training. They're sentient, living things that should be treated with no less consideration than a human if they are yours.

And don’t even get me started on Cavapoos and Cockapoos. They’re EVERYWHERE—ticking time bombs of health issues. They’re not plushies, they’re intelligent, active animals that require care and attention.

The amount of people who gleefully tell me what 'nutters' their dog is when it's actually being driven up the wall by boredom is infuriating.

Dogs are not accessories or band-aids to your feelings of inadequacies. They’re living beings with needs. If you can’t meet those needs, don’t fucking get one.

[skittlespizza]

A SPACE ODYSSEY TUMBLR SIMULATOR

[FOR CONTEXT, the book mentions that the events of the Discovery have become a "classic" of sorts which implies there is a fandom in universe for the Discovery...]

🚀 davidbowmankinnie follow

Happy 100 years since the Discovery Mission!

🔴 hal10000 follow

can't believe it's been 100 years... it felt like just yesterday!

🎂 discovery-logs-outofcontext follow

rb with your favorite thing about the fandom. I'll go first. i found my best friend irl because I saw she was reading the Discovery Manuscript. She's a really big Hal fan and I love Sal a lot. We are hal & sal irl...

💾 heywoodslefttoe follow

i kin dated someone as frank/dave in middle school. It ended bad.

📼 chandradeservedbetter follow

LOL do you remember the Hal Plushie incident?

🪽 halleyscomet follow

The WHAT NOW?

🌐 halmanpoole-shipper follow

DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE HAL PLUSHIE.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

I CANNOT STAND HAL APOLOGISTS IM SORRY 💀 HE LITERALLY KILLED FOUR PEOPLE.

🔦 kaminskyy follow

Ofc its a frankdave shipper. Your fucking username IS FRANK DAVE ANAL SEX.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Your fav has zero fucking lines in the book but ok 📸 ur literally a murderer apologist 😭😭

🔴 hal10000 follow

GOD shut up its not a book theyre real people. Hal also like?? Was going thru fucking psychosis but ok then... did you read the second mission??

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

You're a hal kinnie dni.

🧮 zeniiiia follow

Don't interact with op they've doxxed like seven people.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

BLOCKED 🤣

📀 legendofthediscovery follow

Just updated my newest fic! It's a hal/dave/frank fic, has 15 chapters and is a post canon fix-it!

💡chandras-son follow

GODDD THE HAL/SAL/CHANDRA INTERACTION IN THE NEWEST CHAP IS SO CUTE... OP I AM DYINGGG

📀 legendofthediscovery follow

I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOUR ART... IM HAPPY YOU LIKE IT. YOU INSPIRED A LOT OF THE CHANDRA FAMILY MOMENTS 🩷

💡chandras-son follow

CAN WE BE MUTUALS

🔎 dave-bowwman follow

Happy anniversary to my bfs @frankk-pooole and @ hal-loween. Couldn't do it without you guys

📺 betty-to-her-helena follow

Omg you guys are relationship goals...

🔎 dave-bowwman follow

THANK YOU <3

🎞 helena-to-her-betty follow

we neeeed to do that double date sometime.

〽️ frankk-pooole follow

YESS!! hal would also love it. Hes next to me btw.

🧿 monolithic-loser follow

the monolith is SO UNDERRATED.

🥏 tanya-heywood follow

🤝 I FELT THAT MY FAV IS LITERALLY TANYA NO ONE KNOWS HER AND MY RAREPAIR IS TANYA/HEYWOOD

🦾 hetty follow

Mine is betty/helena... no one even KNOWS OF THEM. SAPPHIC SHIPS DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER??

📽 sal-amander follow

> My favorite is Sal. I wish people talked about her more.

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

Petition to make the fandom less weird about the women in the book...

🔴 hal10000 follow

IT ISNT A BOOK.

🪐 jupiterreal follow

my god... its full of stars... I THINK ABOUT THAT ENDING SO MUCH. FUCKKKKKKKKK.

💾 heywoodslefttoe follow

IN THE SEQUEL HE COMES BACK BUT LIKE AS A WEIRD GHOST...

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

goddd wanna hear my headcanon ?? I hc he saved hal and they're living together as ghosts.

🔴 hal10000 follow

Bro you're reaching so hard for that ending.

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

LET ME DREAAAAAM

☀️ apolloeleven follow

Transmasc!David Bowman is real and in this essay...

〽️ frankk-pooole follow

REAL... i know dave trust me.

🌐 halmanpoole-shipper follow

Frank and dave transmasc and agender hal is canon

🔦 kaminskyy follow

REALL. T4T4A or something

🦾 hetty follow

Looking at the Discovery RPF tag is SO FUNNY. It's halman porn, davefrank angst, chandra found family and THEN THE MOST SOUL CRUSHING HELENA/BETTY POST CANON FIC EVER... going sooo insane

🔴 hal10000 follow

Sorry we left your boyfriend in space... yea.. hes floating out there for eternity..

🔦 kaminskyy follow

Sometimes i wonder what the irl discovery crew & lenonov crew would think if they saw this.

🔴 hal10000 follow

They'd have a fucking heart attack.

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

LOL

🔴 hal10000 follow

Didnt you block me?

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Im not a pussy it was a bit jfc

🔴 hal10000 follow

What did i do to you oh my god

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

Wanna make out

🔴 hal10000 follow

?????????

🎰 discovery-alerts follow

HEYWOOD KNOWS ABOUT THE HALFRANK FIC

💾 frankdaveanalsex follow

HUH????

🤖 discoverydotcom follow

NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT THAT ONE???

📺 betty-to-her-helena follow

HOW DID HE FIND THAT?

DOES HE READ DISCOVERY RPF..... NOOOO????

🛸 tsiiiiiiiien follow

OUgh

🛸 tsien follow

SAME PROFILE PIC LOL

Also. WHAT GHE FUCK.

🪽 halleyscomet follow

Whats the halfrank fic?

☀️ apollotwelve follow

You sweet summer child...

[ultimate-shipper-blog]

The previous part:

Pt. 2 Pa:

Do you know what it feels like to be ripped from everything you love.

Lydia wanted nothing more than to be with her Pa during this insane moment. While she was happy to be reunited with her dad she missed the love she felt from her Pa.

She knew his love was unconditional but it took her some time. For three years after her dad's death she didn't see her Pa that often. Her Aunt Robin moved in and a little later her Aunt Nancy to the guest room in their house. They raised her those three years while her Pa was inconsolable.

----

She watched through the spaces in the stairs as her Pa cried on the couch. He looked so small in Robin's embrace. He was screeching terrible things at the top of his lungs.

"NO! NO MORE!"

Robin held him down, tears streaming down her face.

"No Eddie that's enough, you need to be there for Lydia."

"I saw him again Rob! He haunts my dreams, I see him in every corner of this godforsaken house. IT'S HIS NAME ON THE LEASE! I see him in my daughter OUR DAUGHTER Robin. She looks just like him. I...can't even look at my own daughter...oh god. Oh what have I done"

He broke off, cries getting softer.

"I've turned into everything I've hated"

"No Eddie that's not true there's still time."

That night she slept clinging to her Pa for the first time in forever. He was brushing his calloused fingers through her hair, whispering about how he would protect her.

And he did.

After that day he did everything in his power to prove himself to his daughter. To prove he could be who his love thought he could be.

----

Three years before

----

"Are you sure you're ok to be with her while I'm gone?" Steve asked worridly.

"Please Stevie it's not like I was worth much the first time around. Plus me and munchkin will be fine won't we bug?"

"Yeah! We'll be ok daddy we're having a sleepover tonight! Where are you going?"

Steve knelt down before her, looking into her eyes. "I'm going on a super secret mission...I'm not sure when I'll be back but just know I love you so much. Whatever happens know you two are the best things I've ever had in my life. You're everything I've ever wanted."

"Steve." Eddie said sharply "Don't talk like that. You have a plan that's been Wheeler approved plus Supergirl has no doubts you won't win. You'll be braiding hair with us before you know it." He looked serious but the worry was spotted in his features. He pulled Steve into him, holding his face with one hand and his waist with the other. "Just don't be cute ok? Don't be a hero." The familiar words meaning so much now.

"Eds...I'll do what has to be done. I meant everything I said, you're everything."

"I know you did sweetheart."

And their fate was sealed with a kiss.

-----

Author's note:

Hey guys! Please let me know if you like this story :) I live for interactions. The next part will bring us back to the main plot, I think I've done enough world building.

Tag:

@tinyplanet95