#SHE GOT ME SO DOWN BAD I COSPLAYED AS HER FOR A CON
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im a sub girl through and through but when im unwell enough about a series, i later do a rewatch in dub and levi's voice in dub is terrible for my wellbeing
#every time he speaks i need to be left in a room w padded walls and my arms restrained#i would BEG for him to read my grocery list#lol the rewatch was months ago but i just wanted to speak my truth now#because after completing the manga in 2021 i was kinda lazy to watch the anime again#so welp here we are#honourable mention to pieck in dub#SHE GOT ME SO DOWN BAD I COSPLAYED AS HER FOR A CON#chitchatting ᵔᴗᵔ
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⋆ ˚。⋆ ✩ ˚ SOMEPLACE SILENT
oscar piastri x silent hill / horror game obsessed! reader x lando norris ( kind of )
faceclaim: none!
୨୧ this is uh… this is just very self indulgent to be honest! i’m someone that cannot shut the fuck up about video games in general but especially silent hill and other survival horror games so yeah! i haven’t slept in 20 hours, i’m running on monster energy so sorry for any major errors
୨୧ part two of this smau available here
reading music recommendations: the reverse will by akira yamaoka - laura plays the piano by akira yamaoka - waiting for you by akira yamaoka
ynlovesthehorror: it’s raining and hailing outside today… you know what that means… classic survival horror game marathon 🥳
landonorris ✔️: girl you would’ve done this if the sun was shining and the birds were chirping…
> ynlovesthehorror: shut your mouth
> landonorris ✔️: i’m telling oscar
> londoacaryn: never beating those future throuple allegations i fear…
oscarpiastri ✔️: miss you tons, can’t wait to get home and watch ❤️
> ynlovesthehorror: miss you more! can’t wait for you to get home, i still have lore to explain :3
> landonorris ✔️: oscar she told me to shut my mouth, tell her off
> oscarpiastri ✔️: no way mate, you deserved it
> landonorris ✔️: right well i’m just gonna drive off a bridge then i reckon, since you obviously all hate me so much 💔
> oscarpiastri ✔️: okay
> ynlovesthehorror: okay
> danielricciardo ✔️: okay
landoontop: my favourite wag, she just wants to chill all the time 😭
ynlovesthehorror: THIS IS A 100% REAL NOT FAKE NOT ALTERED NOT MANIPULATED IMAGE OF THE F1 DRIVER LANDO NORRIS AND A UNKNOWN ASSAILANT TRYING TO SILENCE ME IN THE PADDOCK FOR TALKING ABOUT SILENT HILL TO HIS ENGINEERS
landonorris ✔️: GET A GRIP YOU MUPPET 😭
> ynlovesthehorror: THREATEN ME ALL YOU WANT I WONT BACK DOWN
danielricciardo ✔️: DISTURBING! someone needs to show this to the FIA…
> landonorris ✔️: DONT ENCOURAGE HER
landoontop: and where was oscar when this was happening?
> ynlovesthehorror: toilet 😔
> landoontop: seems suspicious… you don’t think…
> ynlovesthehorror: 😟
> oscarpiastri ✔️: 😳
landoscaryn: she couldn’t be serious if she tried 😭
ynlovesthehorror: went to the paddock with oscar today! you already know the psp had to come with me <3 also l*ndo got me this shirt… i think he might feel bad about threatening me with a gun for being passionate about a game
landonorris ✔️: still going with how i and a unknown assailant apparently put you in a chair and pointed guns at you for talking to our engineers about silent hill?
> ynlovesthehorror: you left me traumatised
> landonorris ✔️: absolute muppet
> ynlovesthehorror: thanx for the shirt :3
❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri
danielricciardo ✔️: nice seeing you again yn! thanks for letting me borrow your psp for a bit, took me way back
> ynlovesthehorror: you’re welcome <3
oscarpiastri ✔️: always a better race when you’re here ❤️ love you lots, my lucky charm
> ynlovesthehorror: you flatter me too much, love you more <3
charlesleclerc ✔️: the paddock is always more fun with you around! hope to see you again soon yn 🙂
> ynlovesthehorror: only if you bring alex and leo with you again
> charlesleclerc ✔️: leo? sure! alex? absolutely not
> ynlovesthehorror: don’t hate me because your girlfriend liked my nerd swag
> landonorris ✔️: “swag” someone run her over
ynlovesthehorror: me at comic-con last year vs me at comic-con this year! i have a new sidekick :3 oscarpiastri
oscarpastry: holy fuck
> iluvf1: holy FUCK
> piastrilover: HOLY FUCK
oscarpiastri ✔️: most fun i’ve had at an event in a long time, love you lots ❤️
> ynlovesthehorror: i finally have a bf that will cosplay with me 🥹 AND HES AUSTRALIAN AND SUPER HOT
oldf1lvr: well… this is it! this is the cutest thing to ever happen in the history of f1 couples
landonorris ✔️: nerds
> ynlovesthehorror: you get absolutely no bitches, leave my comment section
> oscarpiastri ✔️: lando you messaged me that you were upset we hadn’t told you we were going to comic-con this year and you would’ve come dressed as james if yn wanted
> landonorris ✔️: snake
> landoontop: lmao poor lando 😩
eatoscarlikepastry: so this confirms that oscar is a silent hill fan too right?
> landoontop: idk… he might just be dressing up with her, supporting her!
> ynlovesthehorror: he wasn’t a silent hill fan before i met him, he didn’t even know wtf it really was 💔 i changed that real quick, he’s almost a big of a fan now as me… almost
oscarynlove: something just happened in my brain and i don’t know what…
danielricciardo ✔️: good work on crafting the costumes both times yn! always lovely to see your talent
> ynlovesthehorror: don’t praise me, i’ll cry
> landoscaryn: she’s just like me </3
> danielricciardo ✔️: don’t be stupid! you deserve praise love ❤️
> oscarpiastri ✔️: she’s crying but she says thank you lots
> landonorris ✔️: what a strange girl…
> oscarpiastri ✔️: 🙄
ynlovesthehorror: life update! me and osc got a kitten :3
maxverstappen ✔️: good choice of pet!
> ynlovesthehorror: thank you maxi pad
> maxverstappen ✔️: 😕
oscarpastry: oscar with a kitten oh my god… what did you name it?
> ynlovesthehorror: heather <3
> landonorris ✔️: of fucking course you named her that…
oscarpiastri ✔️: i love our child ❤️
> ynlovesthehorror: our BABY!
charlesleclerc ✔️: i must bring leo over so they can meet and be best friends!
> ynlovesthehorror: yes 🥹 next week!
iluvf1: they’re the cutest couple on the grid i fear…
❤️ liked by landonorris
ynlovesthehorror: you’re the james to my mary (minus the murder part) i’ll always be waiting for you ❤️
eatoscarlikepastry: i’m so obsessed with them…
landonorris ✔️: “minus the murder part” i just… why can’t you just be normal?
> oscarpiastri ✔️: i don’t want her to be normal ❤️
> ynlovesthehorror: you heard the man
landoscaryn: WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?
oscarpiastri ✔️: i love you, lucky charm ❤️
> ynlovesthehorror: love you more speedy <3
oscarynlove: you as mary or maria and oscar as james when?
> ynlovesthehorror: soon… very soon :)
⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆。˚ ⋆
a chat is needed
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fucked up my hand in the middle of sewing so i won't be able to make progress in a while :') but while i'm here i might as well show what i got done so far. made everything but the tie :3
long ramblings about the process so far below
started working on all this for a bit over month. been alternating between maya and jun's outfits but ultimately switched focus to maya because her stuff was more complex.
this post is mostly about maya but here's the only interesting part of jun's stuff rn
i don't like the stitching on the roman numeral either but who will look. my eyes are Up Here. might paint over the thread so it doesn't stick out as much but who knows. also kind of off topic, it threw me off so bad that jun is a third year but in official art he's always shown with the two on his collar?? had to do some digging to make sure i wasn't crazy for thinking he was a senior.
the rest of his jacket is currently like a very basic looking cardigan with raw edges everywhere, nothing worth showing off rn. i think i'll continue working on it now that i can only work one-handed for the time being since the machine does most of the heavy lifting. as for the pants, i thrifted a pair several months ago. it's actually the reason i wanted to cosplay him lol, the pants were just the perfect color.
side note, my machine is Mischievous and simply refuses to sew down several layers at a time, or even just my beige fabric for some reason. so everything beige is sewn entirely by hand. maybe that's why i got carpal tunnel lol
here's what the sleeves look like on both sides and also on the inside
tbh i never realized it until i looked at her design more closely but she has like these little squares on half of her sleeves, so i tried to recreate that. it's basically just two rectangles sewn together but one of the rectangles is made up of other, smaller rectangles. nothing crazy. however, sewing the trim and elastic to it suckedddd. generally to sew elastic or stretchy fabric, you have to use a zigzag stitch (which looks exactly as you'd imagine). the easiest way to do that is by machine, except i couldn't because of the problems i just described and also the opening is too small for me to properly put it under the machine anyway. i never want to do a zigzag stitch by hand ever again. especially not with having to push through like six layers of fabric like no ty </3
now the corset
side by side of how a half of it looks on the outside vs the inside. both cups on the inside are labeled left and right respectively, in case i forget which boob goes where. currently the trim is just pinned on until i recover and can properly sew it down. i'll also have to figure out how to get the two zippers and the little rectangle that goes at the bottom on it too. the zippers for sure i'll have to cut down bc they're too long (they were the smallest ones the store had :/)
i found a pattern for it and it was easy enough to follow, just took longer than i wanted it to because i had to do it by hand. i also modified the pattern a bit to have it zip up at the front bc by default it closes at the back. had to adjust it twice so it would stop slipping off from being loose (size chart was weird). that little triangle was the result of me trying to ease the transition from the cups to the back of the corset after making the adjustments. it's not very noticeable when i have it on bc that's where my arms rest lol.
you might also be looking at the weird looking foam like why's it look like that. and you're right!
this is leftover from when foam was installed in the ceiling by the landlord to reduce noise from upstairs neighbors! like ten years ago! and she just left it here!! there's a lot more of it not pictured, that's just the amount i used. so kind. had to cut the triangles off and trim some of the thickness off, but thanks to her, i'm gonna have the quietest boobs at the con :)
and the hearts
they're right here :3 i still haven't attached them yet.
the trim is just black fabric cut into 5cm by 1.5m strips attached to other strips to make a super long strip i fold into 2cm pleats and cut as i go to fit the things i need to put it on. the stitching looks messy bc i have to in several times on the machine and only sometimes does my machine want to sew down more than two layers. i bought a yard of the black but i might unfortunately need more? i will cross that bridge when i get there.
the brown zip up undershirt thing i just modified an existing pattern i found online so that the sleeves were longer, it zips instead of buttoning up, and making it cropped. the collar is just that comically large so i suggest adjusting that if you also plan on using this pattern and don't like the collar size.
the skirt is a simple a-line skirt made a few inches wider so after sewing it and it's properly shaped like a skirt, i can go over and fold two sides together for that pleat in the middle of the skirt. i went in by hand to sew the inside of the folds to the fabric behind them so that the pleat stays in place. then i cut a strip of elastic to a few inches less than my waist measurement, sewed the ends down to form a circle, folded the top of the skirt over it twice, and then sewed it down and boom waistband. looks kinda weird all bunched up when it's not being worn, but i didn't really care about making it too pretty. you only really see the bottom part of it lol
i also made legwarmers to wear with the outfit because i refuse to spend money on shoes i will never wear outside of cosplay. they're literally just tubes made of a singular rectangle each with elastic on one of the ends, easiest thing ever. i think those boots fit well enough with the overall vibe so i'll wear them with the outfit.
the beige skirt thing she has i cut out already but really didn't do anything with yet so i have nothing to show for it rn lol
oh also. the brown, black, pink, and teal fabrics are broadcloth, the beige is peachskin, and the white fabric and little things on the front of jun's collar are gabardine (leftover from lisa and elly's uniforms).
if anyone has any questions i'd be down to answer them :3
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Rinka: >/////<*** Why did we have to come here? This isn't my idea of "TGIF".
Nagisa: ^^;;; I-I know, but I needed to spend time with you and Yuzuki... I feel like I've been neglecting you guys...
Rinka: *huffs* >//////////<*** You're not...neglecting. Nagisa, I was there helping administer the exams, I know you've had your hands full.
Nagisa: Yeah, I guess... But most of the others squeezed time out of me in the evenings. You were there to watch our, uh... Smash Bros tournament the other night with Yukiko, Rio, Akari, Hinata, Hinano, Touka, Ritsu, and me... ^^;;;
Rinka: Uh-huh. Yuzuki was bummed she missed out.
Nagisa: She was, and that's why she signed me up for comic con this weekend with her. (✿◠‿◠);;; But Yuzuki always goes crazy at these conventions and forgets I came with. So I'm usually left wandering on my own while she's getting photo-ops and autographs and sampling all the different stalls.
Rinka: ... So that's why you brought me along.
Nagisa: Well, no, I honestly felt bad for not doing much with you lately. You deserve better. >_<
Rinka: >/////<*** I told you it's fine. We could've done dinner later or whatever.
Nagisa: But we're always doing dinner. I thought we could change things up a bit? (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: Nagisa... Dragging me to comic con is more than "a bit". >//////<*** Why am I even in this dumb costume?
Nagisa: (☉_ ☉) Honestly, I have no idea how Yuzuki's mind works. She took one look at you and said "a Tifa cosplay would work best!" ... And next thing I knew, she dragged you off and now here we are? (☉_ ☉)
Rinka: *huffs again* >/////////////////////<*** Honestly........ How did that otaku even fall for you? She can't put her manga down for five minutes. Is even a mangaka herself. >/////<***
Nagisa: Apparently, she really appreciated that I've listened to her all this time and at least tried keeping up with a number of series. (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: *rolls eyes* Of course... I dunno why I expected any different. Why did you hang out with so many of us, back in E-Class?
Nagisa: ... B-Because if I was hanging out with E-Class, I wouldn't have to spend that much time at home? (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: Nagisa. You know damn well what I meant. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: *drags foot on the floor like a wounded puppy* W-Well... You know before dad took me in, mom was grooming me to be her second shot at what she missed out on...
Rinka: Yeah, your mom was a real bitch. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: Rinka!! (⊙▂⊙✖ )
Rinka: You know I meant your mom-mom, not Irina. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: Th-That doesn't make it any better!!! (⊙▂⊙✖ )
Rinka: Well, your mom shouldn't have been such a lowlife, bottomfeeding trashfire. I'm not gonna apologize when she treated you like crap. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: *sigh* (☉_ ☉) The point is, because of how I was being raised, interacting with girls was just... easier. The guys in E-Class were - are - great. But for that first while when Koro-sensei was getting our act together, I didn't get as much teasing for my looks from you girls. I... enjoyed being around that chill atmosphere more. (☉_ ☉)
Rinka: ...
Nagisa: You know Rio was the exception to the rule!! (☉_ ☉)**
Rinka: Yeah, I guess. -___- Some of us still speculated whether you were a guy or a girl, though. No guy had the right to be that pretty.
Nagisa: *sigh* I know, but you guys weren't as open or as frequent with the teasing. (✿◠‿◠);;; Once I hung out with Akari enough, pretty soon Yukiko got curious about me. Then Touka, Hinata... Hinano always sorta talked to me because she's... Hinano. Rio always liked messing around with me. Yuzuki tended to crack anime references around me and Akari, even used us as a sounding board a few times because she took her comedy very seriously. (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: Mmm... (╬≖_≖) Yeah, I guess after a while you just had this reputation as someone we could talk to. Despite being besties with Karma, you were trustworthy and sweet about dropping everything to hear us out.
Nagisa: ... Why do you not sound too happy about that...? (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: Because it was a circus when we got far enough along in our friendships. (╬≖_≖) Akari was already hogging you enough as it was. But then Yukiko hit that phase where she would drag you out to the arcade the second class let out. Even Koro-sensei was impressed at her speed. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: That's not... um... well... Maybe it was a bit like that... (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: (╬≖_≖) Hinata was pummeling the guys more often because they were idiot perverts that couldn't be more like you. She got around to punishing the Terasaka boys for making you do that one stunt early in the year. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: O-Oh... (☉_ ☉) *wondered why Terasaka had been so chummy for the longest time*
Rinka: Don't get me started on Hinano and Touka. (╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖)(╬≖_≖) Those two and Ritsu were... creepy as hell. Whenever they found locks of your hair, they squabbled over them. If you ever forgot something, it became this huge debate over who would get to return it to you. Not gonna touch the secret photo album they compiled during the school year... They snapped pics like damn paparazzi's. I don't even want to know how they caught certain moments of you; I swear they were busy doing other things when you made cute faces or reactions, but apparently not. (╬≖_≖) And Ritsu... I'm not sure if you ever noticed, but she followed you online and liked every single post you shared. Every. Single. One. (╬≖_≖)
Nagisa: I, uh... I think I remember something like that... (☉_ ☉);;; B-But, uh... Rinka... If you knew about "certain moments", doesn't that mean you were watching me a bunch, too??? (☉_ ☉)
Rinka: .............. >//////////////////////<*** Sh-Shut up! Unlike those weirdos, I at least respected your privacy... Koro-sensei even snapped a picture of you sleeping at home once, and everyone - everyone - hounded the octopus for copies. I told you, it was a damn circus when we got far enough along. I almost sniped people more than a few times because they went too far... ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶
Nagisa: W-Well, thanks for worrying about me, Rinka... (✿◠‿◠);;; *pets her head comfortingly*
Rinka: >/////////////<*** Guh... It just bugs me they can still make you do stuff because you're so nice... Like, what even is that costume you're wearing? Is that helmet supposed to be on?
Nagisa: It's a Sonic Ninja cosplay. (✿◠‿◠);;; No way I'm wearing the helmet all the time in this place. Way too stuffy, I'd pass out.
Rinka: ... So you're a Power Ranger, essentially. >//////<***
Nagisa: I'm surprised you know about those, I guess it's pretty similar? (✿◠‿◠);;;
Rinka: Sh-Shut it!!! >////////////////<***
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So, my RCCC experience today was waiting in line for a Taliesin Jaffe autograph, and meeting a couple of interesting and kind humans waiting in line with me. When it came my turn, I wasn't sure what he'd say about it.
There's a lot of Critical Role characters wandering the con regularly, because they're just sort of... Well... There. They've kind of dominated the D&D scene. Not that this is a bad thing, it just is.
And here I am, in a Vampire character Cosplay of Carver from LA By Night - an anarch vampire who chose to turn a human rather than watch her die, not out of altruism, but because he knew she was capable of being someone who could potentially change the political world of Darkness. Not quite evil, but definitely not great.
So, I walk up, and he is still sort of getting his bearings from being photographed to all hell, and now in the autograph/selfie line... And he looks up and *really* gets a good look at me...
Taliesin (about my Carver Cosplay): Oh boy, oh man. OK, THAT'S cool. The hair...
Me: Yeah. He's honestly my favorite of your characters. And I got the necklace this morning to finish it off.
T: You - you know the meaning of the necklace, yes?
Me: Oh yes, yes indeed.
T: Cool, cool. Oh man that's... Wow.
Me: Oh, wait... Hold on... (I turn to show him the back of the jacket)
T: Holy. Wow, OK, yeah.
Me: yeah. I had to paint the back off season 4, because it was too perfect.
T: Man I loved That character. Dude, that. Yeah, wow. He was evil, I miss him...
Me: Thank you for everything you've done. It's weird, we actually have family history. My great uncle was George Heyes, who was a director/producer in Hollywood, and supposedly worked with George Axelrod at one point)
T: (scribbles down my gran-uncle's name, checking the spelling) Woah. OK. That is weird - I'm definitely going to look that information up. That's cool.
Me: Yeah it was that, and you, were part of my inspiration to go into voice acting.
T: Oh wow. Well, welcome - it's a weird gig. *chuckle*
It's interesting, because as much as he was gracious, and kind, thoughtful and lovely, I definitely appreciated the fact that I wasn't even remotely in the same league as he and Anjali Bhimani.
A friend asked if Taliesin and I were going to hang out after and talk shop, and I had to laugh at the thought. I mean, sure, who wouldn't love to. But... I mean, if I had at least a couple of years in VO, I *might* ask if he was free to chat at some point to give me pointers... But I haven't even landed a single job.
I've only just barely scraped the surface of VO, and only had one voice teacher - Sonny Strait. And him telling me in a class that I had talent and he wanted me down in Dallas to record, isn't the same as actually getting a job.
Because of the panini, and a lack of funds, I couldn't go to Dallas and stake out Funimation and/or follow Sonny Strait around til he hired me as a background extra. So, I've had to go a different route as a storyteller. And, we don't have even a moderate following. I mean, it's not horrible, but it's definitely not up to CR or even By Night standards. We're just a little homegrown thing.
Being clear here - there is nothing wrong with being what we are. I'm incredibly proud of the work we've done, and the following we have - but it doesn't mean we have the chops of asking to hang with the big dogs.
And yes, I put people like Erika Iishi, Jesse Jerdak, Ginny D, and KP in that lineup as well. As much as I've appreciated the lovely and kind interactions I've had with them, they are well and beyond where I am in all of this. And that's OK. They've worked hard to earn where they are, and they've kept working every day for what they love to do.
I hope that if I end up getting to that level, I am able to remember that being kind is a free action, and is appreciated everywhere.
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diary406
11/2-3/24
saturday - sunday
gotsa sleep soon.
so despite today being a long and tiring day, i won't be able to put much here about it, but it wasn't bad. i was just sort of dysphoric i guess. like crashing after a sugar rush. it's so much for my tiny nerves to have any positive attention, it's always like this. it has to come slowly, for me to be inoculated.
but, we saw some very fun stuff today, and we're gonna see fun stuff tomorrow!! i have to correct one thing, yesterday i said the owner of hypercore was hiroshi... i was misremembering, it was / is hisashi. i'm dumb!!
so we saw the fashion show this year, that they do at this con. i'd like to walk again in it... like we did the first year. but idk. you never know what you'll walk in and stuff. there was this one brand, ac unit, the woman who runs it with her sister, they were the ones who did the marina and samarie cosplay from yesterday!! this was their first fashion show, i cannot find their instagram!! wow, that is sad. i'll try and find it tomorrow. ummmmm, their little thing made me emotional because the woman who was up there, she started crying talking about how much she loved her sister and mother and how much they helped her, in life and with the making of the garments. she started crying a lot talking about her mom, and then her experience with j-fashion and how it helped her make so many friends, and i wonder about like, where you make those friends... it's always seemed so exclusionary to me but these people are so kind, and this con has a lot of j-fashion stuff where people are making garments that are made with people who have sensory issues and things... they're considerate, and most j-fashion stuff i see a lot is like, hyper-crazy popularity stuff.
we also saw that japanese brand hypercore do their walk, very cute and cool, and a couple others, ghost girl goods was one and she's very kind, it's really incredible how hard she seems to try to get j-fashion brands out there to new people at cons, to make it more of a thing people can tangibly interact with, you know. she works hard at that. it is very nice to see.
after that we milled about for a while, we went to the bowling alley, saw miura ayme do a panel of q&a, then after that, jiluka did their q&a, then we went for food. both q&as were good, of special note, miura ayme said he really likes gunbuster, as far as anime goes, and also dorohedoro, which i still have not read and ought to, but the gunbuster being a favorite is crazy to me. made me feel nice to hear that.
the food was good, i was sleepy, i took selfies in the bathroom let me see if those are okay. it was korean food it was really good actually i ate kimchi fried rice with spam in it... i need to get spam soon. i love cooking with it.
here i am:
i was so sleepy there, i was laying down in the booth we had with my head on my purse. which my gf seemed to like.
then we saw miura ayme perform live, which was cute, fun idol j-rock, then waited for the rave, went to that until we were all kicked out... the guy started the rave with born slippy!!! it got progressively less cool as time went on but that got a lot of good will from me. so i danced, i'm sure my feet will hurt a ton tomorrow since i didn't wear dancing shoes!!
uhmmm, i should sleep now, though, not a lot to say really i guess, ultimately a busy normal day which keeps lots of ruminating away, which is good, because i'll process things i saw, and stuff i recorded later, and it'll give me interesting things in my head.
so,
byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm the con anon. I just wanted to clarify, I didn't get to cosplay the character. I just wore her wig and sweater since I gained so much weight and the cosplay didnt fit me anymore. While at the con, my ex was being an AH the entire time and making me feel uncomfortable since he kept flirting with other girls. Krystal had been cosplaying the same character and she kept approaching me to chat. I think she noticed I was miserable. People kept asking for her photo too, I just wanted to be alone I was trying so hard not to cry. I ended up leaving the con with my ex early cause he kept making me feel like crap the entire time and I remember Krystal watching me and idk, I guess she wanted to say something but felt like it wasn't her place? So a year later after that con, I uploaded a new photo of myself doing the cosplay (not in the outfit, even losing weight, I never got to how thin I was before. I use to be an XS and stuff would be big, but I only made it down to a small) and I tagged a place I was at. Someone dm'd me and said "hey! You were at this con weren't you? I saw you cause Krystal was with you." And I was like what? And googled and had no idea she was a VA. I wanted to tag Krystal in my post, but I don't think she had an Instagram at the time. Also that happened 8 years ago. I honestly would like to see her again, but I haven't really cosplayed again and I haven't been in the best mental health state (not bf or anything related, was just at a shit job and I have burnout and I'm trying to complete my grad program). Ok, sorry for the vent. But gee, I feel so bad that happened the Krystal, she was the sweetest to me when I needed it.
Still a really nice story! She sounds like such a sweet person.
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Coneyislanddesigns
Part one
Part two
We need to talk more about ConeyIslandDesigns (Rory)
If you don’t know who she is, Rory is a cosplayer and former dresser for Phantom on Broadway, she is known for her job as a dresser and for her very stage accurate and detailed cosplays, she mainly cosplays Christine Daae but also has other costumes from phantom and from other movies and musicals. I used to follow her for a long time and really looked up to her, her cosplays were stunning and looked absolutely perfect, I even once did a live stream with her back in 2021, she was very sweet and after that I’d also asked her some questions and she was nice in answering them. This was two years ago.
She then got her job on Phantom Bway, I thought that was absolutely amazing but I had no idea what was going on behind the scenes.
Rory became rather stuck up with responses, I didn’t try messaging her again but it was mainly because she started to intimate me. I stopped following her when she made this comment
No, she does not owe someone explanations about how she makes her cosplays, they seem complicated and she was also probably very busy at the time, understandable. But she worded this so poorly and it came off so rude, with the cosplays she makes then she should expect that people might ask questions, I would assume she would at least be nice if someone asked but now I’m worried about if anyone did try that she’d turned them down in a really rude or snarky way. Also, not everyone can make cosplays like that, if you’ve been a cosplayer for a long time then maybe you can look at a garment and know generally how it’s made, but with an amateur like me even with detailed patterns I still don’t understand at all how something is made 😭 basically, this was just a really bad response and it put me off her. I didn’t know that she was even more worse than that.
I remember some time last year she took a commission for a SIX Anne Boleyn cosplay, I don’t remember a ton from this since I didn’t really pay attention but now I know the story behind it. @saltiestsoprano commissioned it, and they posted the story of what happened on their account.
What I do remember was Rory posting about when she made the cosplay then ‘discovered’ that the customer didn’t want it that way and had to re make it, I think I remember her even posting herself crying but I could be mistaken. Turns out, Rory had made it wrong and not the way that the person who commissioned her wanted, the pattern she used was wrong, she made the skirt wayyyy to short and the top wayyy to big despite having the measurements and tons of references of what was needed. There is more details in this post, along with receipts, messages and even the contract that was made between them. Long story short, Rory is now being sued because of her actions and how terrible she made the cosplay when it costed close to $3000.
Now that Phantom Broadway is closed, she is capitalizing off of it and scamming phans. She knows that people will trust her because she worked on the show, and she knows exactly how to use it in her favor. Not to even mention her phantom con thing, there’s this on her Etsy and EBay for scraps of fabric from the show and Christine’s shoe bows.
She posted “proof” on her story saying that they were allowed to take scraps and stuff that were unusable.
“But she worked on the show! They could be real! She even explained on her story!” Yeah well these reviews from her eBay and old Etsy, along with the commission she made for @saltiestsoprano say that she isn’t exactly the most trust worthy, so even if they are real, I’d still have a pretty hard time believing anything she says.
Basically, she’s a huge scammer and it’s absolutely nothing new. Don’t give her your money because it will not be worth it, with her track record and how she acts I sincerely doubt anything she is selling is real.
Even if that stuff is real, she is still extremely disrespectful and doesn’t deserve support after what she’s done.
I’ll have to make a second part with more details and something else she just did recently, but if anyone has anything to add then you are more than welcome to reblog this with your opinion or your experience with her.
#phantom of the opera#coneyislanddesigns#scammer#phantom Broadway#POTO bway#Christine daae#phantom#cosplay community#phantom Broadway closing#the majestic theater
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The Rain Review Year 4 (2014)
Welcome back to the Rain Review! This time, we’re tackling the comic’s fourth year. It spans Chapter 19: Vincent’s Story all the way through Chapter 23: The Flaherty Siblings.
This one’s the last full year of the comic’s run that I was round for. In Year 5, we’ll get into all new territory. For now, here’s another recap-style post.
Summary
Vincent’s Story is a chapter that I can summarize fairly quickly. Rain’s therapist is actually Aunt Fara’s ex. Fara’s family, particularly her brother-in-law, was not approving at all. Vince ended up disappearing on Fara because he didn’t want her to be troubled with the backlash. In hindsight, he knows this wasn’t the best play because he’s worried Fara big time. Anyway, Jessica and Rain conspire to get them talking again.
Next Chapter!
Aiken is rooming with his twin sister Kellen now. They talk about Rain and it turns out that Aiken is... actually trying to get it. Kellen still doesn’t understand or approve of her sister’s life.
Emily goes to hang out with Rain for a “Quiet Weekend” where they share another cute chat. Ky comes over and Emily gives her a word to put to her gender feels. Also, Emily shares with Ky that she’s pregnant. And pansexual also. Yes, they do make THAT joke, but it was 2014.
Gavin’s date is going really well. Like, he hits it the hell off with Ana.
Also, I usually don’t talk about any of the bonus art or the Rain Delay filler comics in these posts, but I NEED to call attention to the fact that I got Attack On Titan Jumpscared going into the next chapter.
No, no, it’s fine... it was 2014. We didn’t know. Everyone was talking about i- OH COME ON.
It truly was a different time, folks. It was almost 10 years ago...
In news that’s positive to me but probably still negative for everyone else there was also a Danganronpa filler art. Not to derail too hard, but most of these cosplay choices are banger. Except, Gavin is clearly Togami because there just wasn’t another guy that wasn’t annoying. If I believed the fandom perception of that character instead of the actual text of the game, I’d say he should be Mondo.
Anyway, back to the STORY!!!
Brother Arthur tells Chanel and Maria to tone it the hell down before they get caught, but goes out of his way to NOT give them detention for it. This leads directly into the two of them making plans for a Valentine’s Day date in which Chanel treats Maria to dinner.
Maria decides to talk to Rain about Emily. She explains that she eavesdropped on Rain and wanted to know if Emily was pregnant for real. You see, they dated in Freshman year and things ended ROUGH, which is why Maria has such a grudge against Emily.
School ends and Rain and Fara leave for therapy. In this scene, Fara kind of explains Rain’s character development to her. Were I Cinemasins, I’d be like, “Erm, that’s bad writing.”
BUT, I’m not Cinemasins and I acknowledge that Rain is the kind of girl that NEEDS someone to tell her that shit. She won’t give herself any credit without it.
This scene is one of the ones that makes me think about how even as I grow up, I see myself in Rain. She’s So Concerned About Her Friends all the time. She doesn’t give herself enough credit for all the good shit she does. She’s constantly fighting back negative self talk. And yet, she continues on anyway. I love Rain. She’s kind of the prototypical trans woman of the 2010s, but in some ways that makes her easy to relate to.
In the next chapter, Collin tries to patch things up with Fara by actually going through with getting Rain her con tickets. More on that later.
In the mean time, Fara and Vincent meet once again and at least try to patch things up. They’re not dating again, but they do end up on pretty good terms by the end of the night.
I don’t know how involved Vincent will be going forward though. He fills Rain an HRT prescription and says he’ll set her up with one of his co-workers because he’s too personally involved considering his ex-girlfriend is her aunt.
Ky, Gavin and Rudy end up hanging out because they’re all single on Valentine’s Day. Which is fine and dandy until Ky spills The Beans.
We return to Rain after her therapy session. She’s so excited to share the news... but all the friends that know her deal are busy. So she decides it’s time to tell Emily the truth. The emotional height of the entire year follows from this point to the end of Chapter 22. There are 4 different scenes overlapping, but I want to talk about them one at a time.
Emily is... really positive about it. She says she thinks she may have figured it out, but she elected to let Rain come to her when/if she decided to.
There’s a fun thing Samara does with the art in this section is playing with the distance between Rain and Emily. When the conversation starts, it’s clear that they’re in two separate locations on the phone. Emily is in her house, the blue background. Rain is in the therapists’ office, a green background. After Rain tells Emily her secret and Emily accepts her wholeheartedly, the lines start to get a little blurrier. Eventually, They’ve pulled their phones away from their faces and are standing face to face in a panel with a gradient background between their two locations. They get closer as the conversation goes on. so close that it feels like one of them could reach out to hug the other.
This was a really fun way to play with the comic’s... shall we say “lack” of backgrounds?
Now that Rain has gotten everything off her chest, she gets an idea. Remember those tickets I was telling you about? Well, Rain decided she could invite Emily to go to the con with her. But what about the other 2 tickets? THOSE are for Kellen and Aiken.
Meanwhile, at Jessica’s job, a familiar face walks right on in. That’s right, Jessica and Chase are going to go on a DATE. And that’s TERRIBLE for Jessica. Holy shit. Once again, more on this LATER.
The other really important plot line from this chapter to me is the resolution of Chanel and Maria’s date. When the night is winding down, Maria says something I’ve felt personally. She doesn’t want to go home. For once, she’s actually happy because she’s unabashedly spending time with someone she loves. In her house, all she’s got on her side is Rudy. They’re both miserable there.
If you’re a queer person with a shitty family and you’ve EVER been out of the house with your friends, I’m sure you’ve felt this one. The feeling that everything in your life is good... until you go home. Once again, I think this comic’s strong suit is exploring situations that are familiar to experienced queer readers and can be lessons to younger readers. This one hit me in the heart for sure.
Also, Randy and Ky meet again and they decide that they can give each other a shot.That’s cute.
Now, the final twist of Chapter 22: Anastacia! How many trans people are in this comic? One more than you thought before!
The final chapter of the night is “The Flaherty Siblings”.
Rain and Fara go to pick up the con tickets from Collin, who is being a lot more polite than Fara last described him. If you’ll look back, Fara broke up with Collin off screen. We don’t know what exactly he said to her until now, except that it PROBABLY involved Rain. Collin presents Rain with her tickets and Rain decides that Fara should give him another chance. So, in the future, we’ll be seeing a little more of him.
The day before Rain and Emily leave for Kellen’s house, Rain does some introspection. She finally admits to herself what we’ve probably all been thinking: She is in love with Emily. She is in love with Emily but is scared to say anything about it because they’ve got a lot on their plates and also they call each other Sis all the time, so she thinks it’d be weird.
The day finally arrives and Fara drops Rain and Emily off with her other niece. Things do not start well, but there’s an unexpected MVP in this scene. AIKEN is the one to reach out to Rain and tell her to give Kellen a chance.
I’m starting to care for Aiken as a character a lot. He’s Literally Trying. He’s putting more effort into things than my own family ever has. He always calls her by her name and almost always gets her pronouns right. He’s clearly making an attempt and he deserves credit for it.
Kellen, on the other hand, is like, MY MOM tier transphobic. She assumes that Emily is ALSO trans and directly refers to Rain as “Not a real girl” multiple times this weekend.
Emily is Rain’s number 1 shooter this weekend. Like, she does NOT let Kellen miss a goddamn beat.
My favorite Emily clap-back is this one below:
We cut to Jessica, who finds out what Chase’s deal is and is PISSED about it. I’m pretty sure things between them are over as quick as they started. I mean, dude admitted to dating a high schooler on the FIRST DATE.
Meanwhile, Kellen continues to be a fucking problem and bring up stuff that was actually just Rain’s Childhood Dysphoria. Then, Rain goes to sleep that night and has a trauma nightmare about her father. Again, I relate. I’ve been there.
Emily is once again The Best Person for Rain’s sake.
and that brings us to the end of Year 4.
Final Thoughts
Another year, another group of really emotionally fulfilling scenes. Holy shit. It’s crazy to me how consistently quality Rain’s character writing can be. It definitely helps that it draws from real life experience. Everyone in this comic feels like someone I have known or could know.
Rain is nothing if not consistent, honestly. That’s a blessing and a curse. The writing is always just right but the art style never leaves the way it always has been. Samara tries new things in this batch of chapters, though. More shot feature furniture and background details than in previous years and that one scene with the gradient background worked really well!
I look forward to seeing where Rain goes from here. Join me next time for year 5, 2015!
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My guy you are not obligated to love your emotionally abusive mother and you are not a bad person for hating someone who mistreats you like that constantly.
In fact, thinking just bc she's your mother you're required to love and respect her is lowkey the abuse working on you. Don't let your brain wire itself that way. She's not entitled to your love, respect and obedience just bc she decided to push you out of her and you are not her personal dress-up doll. Fuck what she says about your hair and clothing choices, you're you, not whatever warped version of you she expects you to be.
And idk if she's aware you have RSD or a dif neurological disorder, but RSD is a common trait in neurodivergent people and if she's taking advantage of it knowingly, that's ableist as shit.
You don't owe her SHIT. You're valid the way you are and you have every right to hate someone who constantly tears you down, fucks with your emotions and self-image, acts entitled to your autonomy, and demands you take all of it with a smile. Fuck her dude. Don't let her convince you you're the problem.
I've been there with my dad in the past. I know the feel to a certain degree. It's a lot of mental gymnastics but if you keep rationalizing things and disregarding everything she says because YOU know you best, you'll come out of it a little less fucked up one day.
I really apreciate the kindness and support people have given me reguarding this. For most unaware, i do have self diagnosed adhd(educated guess, i just fit all the symptoms and it explains a lot of my life experiences. Am planning on trying to get a clinical diagnosis soon) and it causes me to have a lot of sensitivity to critisism and it causes a lot of self hatred. I have a lot of perfectionism and even though she's a really good parent and she loves and supports me some of the things she says as a very judgy person just hit me a lot in a very personal way. Shes not someone that takes critisism very well herself and because im non confrontational person i dont like to rock the boat. Shes not abusive, not at least the way i would consider emotional abuse, but i feel she does sometimes just not have this awareness of my senstitivity, especially when her critisisms are so often on the basis of me doing non-heteronormative things. Having an androgynous hairstyle, dying my hair colours she doesnt like, dressing in a way thats more conventionally too queer for her(even though she'd never word it like that) and the way she'll constantly encourage me to change who i am just really leads to self hatred. I wont do these things because they wont make me happy, but the critisisms lead to this sense of self hatred and self conciousness in moments where i once felt confident. An example of this is the robbie the zombie cosplay i did for comic con this weekend. I litterally chose the day where id wake up in a hotel and have time at the end of the day to change into something more normal that she wouldnt mind me wearing before i got home bevause i knew her first comment would be a critisism. She gets angry with me using a rude tone with her that I'm not aware I'm using simply because whenever she comes to talk to me I make the immediate assumption that she's going to say something that will feel like she's tearing me down. This perfectionism complex I have can lead to a lot of the things that she says just feeling like I'm not good enough for her. I'm planning on trying to work through it in therapy when I start it but it's just a general thing that I have to deal with in every once in a while it really hits me all-in-one go when I have multiple things stressing out. I don't think she's emotionally abusive and she really does look out for me and support me in so many ways, but it's just that with this aspect of our relationship she hasn't seemed to have reached that point where she allows me to have freedom of expression without any form of judgement from her. I'm trying to move on from it and soon enough when I get my own place or when I move out or when I get a partner or just a better support system and found family in general I won't have to feel so judged and consumed by what she wants for me. Until then it's just this rejection sensitivity thing that I'm going to have to work through and suffer with because of this major issue with criticism and perfection is and that I have for myself.
It's really sweet the amount of people on here that are really supporting me though and saying really sweet things about me. The way my mother reacts to my opinion on how I look makes me feel unattractive and ugly and like I would look better wearing things that I don't want to wear. When I post pictures of myself on here however people react to it in a way that makes me feel really good about myself and proves to me that her opinion is not the only one i should listen to. I'm still yet to sort this out with her because I don't like to confront her on this kind of thing. She reacts very viscerally and attends with me usually just feeling guilty and like a horrible person so until I can get past the way she manipulates my words during confrontations I'm just going to have to find myself some confidence in a place that isn't her and deal with the criticism.
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6, 7, 8, 10, 13?
YES THANK YOU. BLESS YOU.
6. Which ship fans are the most annoying?
Oh, God. Um. Most of the popular ones, if I'm being honest. There are a bunch of different ways I could answer this, from "it's everywhere" to "people misunderstand this canon dynamic" to "people make disgusting bigoted comments toward another, '''in the way''' character" to "most destructively moralistic" so I'll talk about the fanbase that historically has encompassed all of these, which is. The J*hnlockers.
I don't think I can EVER explain how utterly unhinged (derogatory) this fandom was when the show was airing. People straight-up labeling their analyses as a "conspiracy," convincing others that there was a Super Secret Actual Finale Episode that would "fix" their ship not being canon. They paired the main villain up with a character who didn't even exist in canon because doing anything involving the women was, presumably, too much to ask. The absolutely horrendous things they would say about the female characters, ESPECIALLY to fans of them who were minding their own business. (Also, they called one of the gay co-creators "actually a straight man" for not canonizing this ship which is completely and utterly WILD to me.) Genuinely there was NO space more unsafe fandom-wise that I have EVER been in. I cosplayed Irene for a con one time and, though luckily nothing happened, I was AFRAID FOR MY LIFE THE WHOLE TIME. Like. The level of vitriol and misogyny and biphobia (I'm not even going to get into that one) was UNREAL. To the point where genuinely I hope we never get new content of any kind so I don't have to think about people who act like this ever again.
7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
...........at the risk of getting murdered. MCU Steve. He was just kind of. There. To me. I didn't particularly care about him because he read to me as "generic good guy" which isn't an archetype that particularly resonates with me, but...then the fandom just. My God. Saying that EVERYTHING he ever did was right, that NO ONE had any points when they questioned him, that he EPITOMIZED goodness in a way no other character did ever, that anyone who liked Tony (or anyone who was ever perceived as being in Steve's "way" about anything, don't get me started on how people treated Sharon) was A War Criminal Apologist Irl and was Singlehandedly Upholding Every Type of Oppression, like it was. SO annoying. I went from indifference to borderline-hatred out of spite.
8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
GOT SEASON 8 WAS NOT THAT BAD, GOT SEASON 8 WAS NOT THAT BAD, GOT SEASON 8 WAS NOT THAT BAD, GOT SEASON 8 WAS NOT THAT BAD, GOT SEASON 8 WAS NOT THAT BAD, GOT SEASON 8---*I am forcibly removed from the building*
(On a more, uh...eloquent note, Lady Macbeth is not a badass gender-binary-shattering Girlboss™ femme fatale, she is a complete mess struggling with layers and layers of psychological issues that she does not let herself process, as well as a HELL of a lot of internalized misogyny. I love her, too, but this creation of her into some sort of suave or cool monarch lady genuinely baffles me. But then again, this play was my Capstone Research Project my final year of college and I wrote a 50-page paper on it, so maybe I'm a little too invested in how people present her, lmao.)
10. Worst part of fanon
Tbh, everyone who insists that two characters [usually (cis, white, abled) men] MUST be in romantic love because they care about each other. Like...don't get me wrong, I love looking at a LOT of non-canon pairings through a romantic lens because It's Neat™, but showing physical affection or willing to throw down/break the law for someone or calling them things like "admirable" or "amazing" are not? Inherently romantic?? Like by so many people's standards I'd be in romantic love with all my platonic friends, I guess, and that's very annoying. Romance isn't the only kind of love that exists!!! Nor is it the only important or significant one!!!
(On a more specific note, there's a fairly pervasive idea that Aki/Himeno is...a grooming relationship? When according to the established timeline and personal events that would. Literally be impossible. People take the "I'm not old enough to smoke" line that happens not long after they meet as some sort of confirmation that Aki was, like, fifteen or sixteen at the time? Or something? Instead of like. Nineteen. Dude has to have time in the three years he's known her to change significantly in appearance, become old enough to smoke (the legal age for that is 20 over there btw), and develop a substance dependence. And given the visual markers of Himeno's appearance when the two of them meet and how drastically her appearance changes in the intervening years, she can't be more than a couple of years older than him? People also take a comment that's meant to convey that he's been at his job three years longer than another character as saying that he's only three years older age-wise than said character. Which, again, given the timeline. Would be impossible. And also. There is an example of grooming in this story! It's really important to the plot actually! It's meant to be seen as horrifying! You would assume that the fact that this relationship is not presented in the same way means something! Don't get me wrong, Himeno's done her fair share of shitty things, but grooming her fight partner was not one of them. There are plenty of reasons this ship isn't for everyone, you don't have to make shit up, lmao.)
13. Worst blorbo-ification
Genuinely I cannot choose between these two, so we're gonna make this post even longer.
Why do people like K*lo R*n. I don't understand. He was given the barest hint of sort-of, hazy tragic "backstory" and people...very much disagreed with me when I said I didn't think that was enough from a narrative standpoint to actually mean anything. And that's not taking into account that this blorbo-ification happened before we even knew that. When all we knew was that he felt kind of lost sometimes and killed his dad while helping head up a fascist empire, people went wild, and not in a "I like villains" kind of way. In a "he's MEANT to be read as mentally ill" kind of way (my God, please stop saying this about every character who is mean and exhibits one emotion) and "his parents MUST have been abusive to him" kind of way. Neither of those things. Has any basis in canon. Just. Just admit you like a character who's not a good person. And that you like a ship that's a dark romance. You won't explode, I promise.
The other one is Light. People want him to be a tragic anti-hero SO bad, I am incredibly tired. He went from zero to beyond 100 in the space of a couple of in-story hours. He's not some misguided utopian visionary, he's a hypocrite with a god complex. I have met too many people like this irl to get behind any positive or sympathetic interpretation of this character. (And don't get me wrong. I think in order to most effectively present the Themes™ of the work as a whole, he had to be written like this. I don't begrudge the creator (in this instance, anyway), I begrudge the fanbase. There's actually a lot I could say about this piece of media and general reaction to it, but my God this is already long enough.)
I choose violence asks
#tw: grooming mention#tw: abuse mention#long post#hope y'all like me being salty lmao#prepared to get a small slew of unfollows as per what usually happens when I do things like this lmao#multi t(ASK)ing#re: the last part-I saw something that said coming into contact w/the title object only allowed him to fully embody the person he was all#along. that he now had something that gave him the permission & ability to do what had always been simmering under the surface. and that's#ultimately how I view things as well#salty mc13 is salty
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26 was a transformative year.
I finally had the courage to end a 7 year relationship. I'm so angry with myself for not doing it sooner, but I kept hoping and what-iffing, even as things continued to worsen. I was so bored, I was so stuck, I felt so taken for granted and unappreciated, I felt so held back, I felt like I was making myself small, I felt like I could never truly speak my mind, I could not trust him, etc, etc, etc. And literally, as soon as I broke up with him, I felt this overpowering sense of relief. I was so relieved, I was elated. It was like a "breath I didn't know i'd been holding" moment. And I have absolutely zero regrets about ending it, the only thing I regret is not ending it far, far sooner. I had lost myself, many of my hobbies, and since the breakup, I've started getting them back. The only thing I miss is someone to talk to/do things with, but I'll make friends. My life improved so much since ending it. I feel so much freer. I am so fucking happy.
I got a promotion at work. My boss admitted that he's been giving me more work than the others because he knows if he gives it to me, it'll be done right, it'll be good, and it'll be done in a timely fashion. And when he told other people about it, they were like, yeah, makes sense, she's been ready for this for a while.
I moved my horse to a new stable. The circumstances behind why are bad, so bad that some of the other owners at her old stable were talking about taking legal action against the stable owner. But I trust the people at the stable she is at now. And I can see her so much more now. It is so healing.
My family and I talk again. We haven't had a good relationship in literal years. I honestly don't know how long it's been. But now we talk, we do things together. I feel like I belong. It is so nice.
I lost 10 lbs! I gained 20 lbs during the pandemic, and could not lose it for the life of me. But this year, with a combination of daily exercise and eating better, I'm down 10 lbs. Just 10 more to go until I am back at my pre-pandemic weight. And the weight loss is incredibly slow, which on the one hand is frustrating, but on the other, is very good, because slow weight loss is sustainable weight loss.
I started eating so much healthier. This primarily after the breakup. My ex was very overweight because he was sedentary and pretty much exclusively ate out. I feel so much better and I have saved so much money. I can't remember the last time I ate out - it was probably with him. And making my own meals and knowing what I put into my body is good for it is SO nice.
I started baking again! I loved this as a kid. I forgot that not only is baking fun, but I'm a good baker. The family ravs about my cookies and pastries and breads and things.
I started embroidering again! It is so nice to put on a show or music or something and sew. My embroidered jean shorts are now my favorite pair of shorts.
I started being artistic again! With sketching, with painting, with trying digital art. I'm BEYOND rusty, but I'm having FUN. So I honestly don't mind that I'm so rusty, because I'm having fun making art again and experimenting with different mediums.
I finished my degree. I did all the classes except for 1 in the typical 4 years of uni, and I kept putting off the last one because it was math. It took me 4 tries thanks to how horrific my mental health was, but I did it, it's done. And I got a 99% on the final exam.
I did so many things I'd wanted to. Like comic con, like renn faires, like going to the ballet. I scheduled things for my future self to enjoy in 27, like a fantasy photoshoot and a mounted archery clinic.
I made my first cosplays! Keyleth, her comic book look and her mantle. I'd been cosplaying for months at that point, but those were the first things I actually made.
I picked up classes to learn new skills, like coding.
I started Duolingo again, and have a streak of over 100 days. I'm actually starting to understand it when spoken at a normal speed, not just slowed down.
I started going on walks outside in the neighborhood! Very weather-dependent, but God are the flowers and houses pretty. And so many little free libraries around. When I can't walk outside, I either go to the gym or use my aeroski or do pamela reif workouts. I workout more days than not and it does wonders for my mental health.
Lol, this may seem strange. But some of my clients are dentists, and since taking them on, my teeth have never been this well-cared for. I have flossed literally every single day in 2023 so far, started using straws for sodas and energy drinks, etc. I better not have any cavities when I see my dentist next month, just saying.
I had the courage to see doctors about various health issues that were bothering me, like excruciating shoulder pain, throwing up everything I eat or drink (not intentionally, like, literally could barely control it), etc. I'm still paying off the medical bills and I'm pissed that only 1 doctor took me seriously while the rest had the gall to tell me I was just stressed when that was not the case. But I'm proud of myself for having the courage to take care of myself like that, anyway.
I actually... Started to want to actually live. I feel so far behind everyone else my age in part because of being held back/stuck by my relationship, but mostly because I never planned to live this long. And my suicidal ideation was so severe, I was only ever going through the motions for so long. Mental illness stole a decade of my life from me. But now, I... Actually don't want to die. I actually want to live. When I feel like I want to die, I recognize the truth behind the feeling which is really needing something to change. And then I work towards that change however I can. Like, I don't have retirement accounts or investments or much of a savings or anything because I just saw no point, because I figured i'd be dead soon. But now? When you are actually seriously researching retirement accounts and investments and savings strategies and all this? Actually making plans for a life far beyond the next couple of days? Of course I still get stressed and depressed by the fact that I don't already have those things sorted out, but then I remember that the reason for that is because I wanted to die for so long. I never thought I would live to see my 20s, and every year until now, I didn't think I'd live to see the next. But now? I want to actively help my future self out. I want to do what I can to make my future self's life better and easier. I want to do what I can to set my future self up for success. And when you have someone who was as suicidal as I was for the past 10 years and who made multiple suicide attempts start thinking about saving for retirement? Holy shit, how much of a win is that?
There's a lot more I could say, I'm sure. I also read so many books, worked on my own books, etc. But I'll leave it there. I'm really pleased with all the personal progress i've made this year. While I'm nervous about 27 and going from mid-20s to late-20s, fearing aging is only ever shooting yourself in the foot. 27 is so young, still. Age is just a number, and I feel more myself than ever before.
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Colossalcon Fallout Nuka Cola power armor
My son wants to go to Comic-Con so he's imagining to us that he's there and he's one of the super saiyans and he thinks it's Ken but it's really Dave next door the big guy with black hair he's about 8 ft tall so he shows up and he's like 9 ft tall and the imaginary film and it's actually real people looking at him and he's got a hairy chest big muscles and he says I'm actually wearing a muscle suit because he's not wearing a shirt he just has the pants like in the show I started laughing and laughing cuz he says stuff like that and he does fun stuff and he has someone carrying his shirt a lot of people are afraid to do stuff like that but what he does is not harmful and mean and you can't take them back but his you can and the girls would laugh and they think it was great cuz they get to see him up front with a pair of chest it's an idea of something to do and the guy has crazy fuzzy hair he's got a huge mouth real big and she's laughing cuz it'll be all new teeth and he says yeah it would be on the teeth with the Olympics didn't want the originals in place and so she got that and it's either going to fuse somehow and that's ridiculous and she said that and she finds the stuff to be ridiculous she said she's a class a magician but the magic is real so she has to keep up and that's why. She had to do it already though and that's ridiculous then I'm ridiculous when you're ridiculous she says you're ridiculous for saying that word so many times it says ridiculous. So that can go on for a while but really he wants to go and have some fun and relax and look at stuff like this and says that's kind of a nice way to do it and it's a decent design and a lot of people think it is and it really is and BG is going to start working on it and he wants some money for it and it says no and her son says no but we'll see you at Comic-Con the guys started laughing and said are you going to be without a shirt and he says if I can get away with it and we have ways of doing that it's like a fishnet thing I'm a super sad I'm not a streetwalker so he said laughing and laughing and I'm not Braddock actually Dan AKA Dave plays the character then he started cracking up like really bad so I'm telling you it's going to be fun
Thor Freya
I really want to see you dressed up as that guy but I think it would be fun cuz the idiot would go nuts doing it all the time
Arnold Schwarzenegger
I'm going to start doing it now it does all the stuff and I want to be able to try and beat him and that's how we do it right and he's saying probably not
Dan
So you're trying to look like him as Mike benedetto I mean Mike goodhue anyways disgusting and no I guess I was trying to in Jesus no
Ron faldera I'm in appearance as his brother in the hospital he told me to go lay down and try and take my medicine I felt better
Olympus
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my best friend from kindergarten gave me the nicest birthday gift ever it was five separately wrapped gifts and notes all corresponding to a different point in our friendship bc were going to different colleges next year and :-((( im gonna miss her so bad
#i thought our friendship maybe didnt mean as much to her anymore as it did to me but this rlly got me like#oh my god. im gonna miss her so bad#my birthday was in april but the last gift was from an etsy seller and shipping took a while#anyway its just. god#it was a narnia magnet#bc when we first met in kindergarten i was rlly rlly into narnia and would explain the plots to her and we would act it out#and then a school for good and evil sticker#bc after we both switched elementary schools we stopped talking for a bit#but then we reconnected over sge and it is a super important shared experience for us#and then a vriska sticker#bc once we were at a con and i pointed at some homestuck cosplay and said. if i ever get into homestuck kill me.#and she will never let me live getting into homestuck after that down#and then a supernatural magazine#from when s12 came out which is great bc embarrassingly i own the s15 already#ALSO side note. full sections of that are completely copy pasted its crazy. like images and all these r more or less the same magazine#and she actually already had that gift BEFORE i got back into spn which makes it even funnier in retrospect#bc it was meant to remind me of my dark past but i just started reading it and went#oh they actually used a picture of adam in this one :-)#and then the last gift was earrings shaped like scissors bc i made her watch us with me a few months ago and it scared her sooo bad#and ive been trying to make her watch more horror ever since#it was just. it was a rlly great gift.#and i almost cried#and i gave her a birthday gift this year too that was meant to remind her of me when were separated and im glad we both had that idea#arghhh ignore this im just emotional#poison.txt
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Genuinely curious, why do you hate Peggy so much?
assuming this is about my post about laughing how captain carter died in mom (which i put in the anti peggy tag, not her tag) i really can't stand hayley or peggy at this point. i'm tired of marvel including her in places where she's literally not relevant, when there are like 1000 other marvel women that could be introduced to the mcu.
to preface, i used to adore peggy. she was my favorite marvel character hands down, i had the 'i know my value' quote as my senior quote in the yearbook, religiously watched agent carter, etc. i even met hayley at the first comic con i went to:
i had been so excited to meet her and cosplayed as sharon carter from ca: the winter soldier, and got a photo with her before her panel. (this was like the same month civil war came out) almost the entire panel hayley talked about how steve/sharon was disrespectful and basically did nothing but bash the character i was cosplaying as. i felt really insecure after her panel, and even heard some people make funny comments about my cosplay (while it wasn't hayley's fault that those people were rude to me) but there was no reason to bitch about steve and sharon that much, rather than just talking about what she enjoyed about her own show. it ruined my first con experience <3 she's also said ugly things about emily vancamp/sharon carter at other comic cons. as well as said poc need to 'wait their turn' for representation.
and as far as peggy goes, literally everything about her in the mcu was based on other characters in 616 comics. the writer's of ca: the first avenger talked about how there was barely any source material for peggy and so they took from sharon carter in the comics to flesh her out. peggy is also partially based on the character cynthia glass- who was the agent involved with project rebirth, who steve called his first love, and was also a nazi spy. in 616 (before the mcu changed it) peggy was a blonde chick who fought nazis, and was really just backstory for sharon carter. here's cythia glass compared to mcu peggy:
and here's peggy before the mcu changed her look in comics:
in the comics, she didn't found shield (she wasn't even a shield agent) nick fury founded shield, she wasn't the love of steve roger's life sharon carter was, and she sure as heck wasn't a super soldier/captain carter. and that's not even mentioning the things that she did in the mcu, she hired zola and other nazis, let them rise to power, and probably knew about shield doing horrible things like they did to isiah bradley and ava starr. and she shot at steve after some woman kissed him?? and what they've given peggy in the mcu has destroyed sharon carter's character in the mcu, when she's been the love of his life in comics for 60 years:
and all of this has led to emily vancamp/ sharon carter fans being treated absolutely horribe by mcu fans. not sure if you know how bad it was when civil war came out, but emily and other fans were both getting death threats because steve kissed sharon. (hayley's comments at comics cons helped fuel this) i even remembered getting hate from other peggy stans bc i simply liked sharon and didn't hate on her. (and i'm not even getting into steve's ending in endgame and how they turned sharon into a villain in tfatws)
tldr, i used to love peggy until i picked up a comic book. she literally had no relevance before 2011. i'm so fucking tired of marvel bringing her back and giving her traits from other characters in the actual source material. we don't need more peggy carter, she's already had her time to shine. i want other women that haven't even gotten their mcu introduction yet (or have been treated badly) to get the respect they deserve.
#there are threads that explain this better but anyways...#crowe talks#anti peggy carter#anti captain carter#anti hayley atwell#sharon carter#agent 13
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Sashannarcy Week Day 3: Jealousy
Another day, another entry in @phrogfrommars Sashannarcy week! This time it’s jealousy.
While hosting a booth at Comic Con, a particularly smitten fan decides to ask out Marcy in front of everyone. Sasha and Anne take exception to this.
words: 2.4k. slightly longer now
“Thank you and enjoy the rest of the Con!” Marcy said to the leaving family.
The teenage girls, about the same age that she was when she was thrown into amphibia, thanked her for the autographs and ran off to check out a Demon Slayer merch booth, with the father chuckling as he walked off after them.
Marcy leaned back into her chair and just sighed with contentment. She’d managed her childhood dream: she had her own booth at Comic Con! She liked to believe that it was for her growing talents as an artist even though she knew it was probably for the ‘Helped save the entire world at 13’ thing.
She knew she had fans though, cause after the news died down about one of the LA Saviors writing her own webcomic, and the deluge of people who read it to get close to her had faded, what was left was apparently a pretty sizeable fanbase of people who just… liked her work because it was good.
She fought down the urge to start handflapping in excitement again, last time she’d knocked over her laptop and the stack of informational fliers about how to start your own webcomic she’d brought with her.
She remembered the first few people who had shown up to the booth in homemade merch of her webcomic: One elderly man leaning on a cane he’d carved to resemble the staff of Malekith the Arch-Magister, The incredibly muscular woman who had on a pretty good replica of Warlord Tormund’s face paint and warhammer, a couple who were cosplaying as Lady Olivia and her faithful knight Ser Yunnan (She couldn’t resist!) and two twins dressed up like Gelamir the Golden King and Horace the False Hero.
She’d cried, she’d actually cried at that. Anne and Sasha had to hold her for a few minutes just because she wouldn’t stop crying from happiness. It was almost as bad as when Anne and Sasha proposed.
Almost.
She leaned, looked at the ceiling above, and just let the noise wash over her.
Here she was, married to the loves of her life, with a job that let her physically manifest her endless imagination into the world, and people actually enjoyed what she wrote.
She wished she could take thirteen year old her by the shoulders and shake her, telling her that things will get better and she doesn’t have to go into medical science like her parents, her teachers, and everyone else want her to.
… oh, and to hurry up and confess to Anne and Sasha already, cause if she didn't she'd end up getting stabbed in the back by an evil salamander who gaslights her into believing he’s her new dad.
Speaking of Anne and Sasha… ‘Where are those two?’
They’d wandered off to go get some refreshments but surely they should have had them by now? How long were the lines for the refreshments?
“Oh my god, you’re Marcy Wu!”
The excited shout drew Marcy out of her thinking and she sat back up in her chair, putting a smile back on for yet another fan.
He was pretty nondescript: Brown tousled hair, five o’clock shadow, glasses, and a brown tweed jacket over a blue sweater. He looked friendly enough, and had something behind his back that he was clearly fumbling with.
“Yep, little old Marcy: That’s me!” She said cheerily, reaching over to grab a pen. “Do you want an Autograph?”
“No, I… Well, actually yes I would.” He looked a little embarrassed as she offered a gentle smile, writing out her name like she had so many times now. ���But I would also like to ask you something?”
Marcy just smiled and waited for him to continue.
“I would like you…” He got down on one knee and thrust out a bouquet of roses. “... to go out with me!” He shouted the last bit loudly, causing a few heads to turn towards them.
Marcy just blinked owlishly, staring at the man like he had grown a bunch of new heads and started talking in tongues.
“Bwuh?”
“I’ve been a fan of yours since you saved the world! I followed all your socials-”
‘Okay, that’s a bit weird, but nice I think…?’ Marcy thought to herself as her smile turned increasingly awkward.
“I’ve been sending you fan mail for a whole year!”
‘Wait, that was him?’ Marcy thought, now creeped out.
“I’ve even wrote this twenty seven page essay on why you should go out with me and-”
“OKAY!” Marcy yelled, wanting this conversation to be over but not wanting to be rude. “Uh, thank you but I'm good. Anyway, uh here’s an autograph. Next plea-”
“To help convince you, I have prepared-” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an I-phone. “-A serenade!” He fiddled with the phone for a bit, and then cheesy upbeat music began to play.
He then, to Marcy’s absolute horror, began to sing.
‘Oh my frog.’ Marcy thought to herself. ‘This is worse than getting stabbed. I wish Andrias was around to stab me again.’
**********
Anne and Sasha walked through the con, hand in hand, and fast food bags in their free hands.
Marcy hadn’t been the one to convince them to dress up like the characters she most certainly didn’t base the three main female heroines in her webcomic off of, not at all! Yeah, sure: they were all in love with one another and all had suspiciously similar lives to the ones they led in Amphibia but it’s all a coincidence!
Anne and Sasha didn’t buy it, but nor did they care. They chose to dress up because they loved Marcy.sd
Anne was clad in a bright blue tunic over a simple white long-sleeve button up, a pair of black wool pants that led down to shining golden boots that went up to her knees, but matched with a pair of similarly metallic gloves made her look like a folkish knight. A simple belt held a sword that looked quite similar to the one that Anne used in Amphibia.
Apparently, Brenda was a normal teenage girl from San Francisco who got whisked away to the shattered realm of Arvanis, where she had to use the power of found family and the heart to save not only Arvanis, but all the worlds of the multiverse. She would go on an epic, continent-spanning adventure where she found out she was chosen by destiny itself to save the world as well as her newfound family alongside her girlfriend Haley.
Totally not Anne.
Sasha, meanwhile, was clad in blackened plate and faux wolf fur. She had one pauldron that had a spike big enough to make a Chaos Space Marine feel inadequate, the other had a dragon skull that Marcy called, ‘The Skull of Tyrannus the Dread Hunger.’ Her breastplate was carved to resemble a deer’s skull like she was a Dragon Age character, with a matching pair of hip armor and her hair had a crown of knives and was curled up like Carrie Fisher.
Princess Akana was the daughter of Warlord Tormund and was also his second-in-command, While he ruled over the black tower in the Mountains of Mourne, she led his war parties to oppress the people of the kingdom of Telchis. She knew no other life until she met Brenda and Haley. There, her long hard heart began to thaw and she began to wonder if this was the life she wanted to lead. Soon, she would be forced to join forces with Brenda and Haley, alongside their friends and companions, to face the Nameless God and his army of demons. And there they would learn that love does truly bloom on the battlefield as Brenda, Haley, and Akana fell madly in love with one another.
Sasha had laughed and gave Marcy a kiss for that one, even if the girl insisted it totally wasn’t them.
Either way, the two girls had gone out of their way to dress up for their wife to surprise her, which led to lots of happy squealing. Marcy’s smile made the long nights of trying to get Sasha’s armor just right all worth it.
“Just saying, we could have gone to the Thai Go truck. Ned would be willing to hook us up.” Sasha said as she drank her boba tea.
“Did you see the line in front of that truck? I like Ned but I'm not waiting for an hour just to get some of my parents cooking.” Anne said as she walked hand in hand with her wife. “We’ll just swing by their place afterwards.”
“I want Thai food though!” Sasha complained.
“... I can make Thai food, Sash. I can do it easily.”
Sasha was about to respond when she caught sight of the weirdest thing: Some dude was taking a knee in front of Marcy’s stand and seemed to be playing music while… holding… flowers.
Oh.
Oh, Hell No.
Anne blinked at the angry expression on Sasha’s face and, turning towards what she was looking at, started snickering. “What the hell is he doing?”
“He’s flirting. With our wife!” Sasha snarled angrily.
“C’mon Sasha, it’s probably something el-”
“Oh Marcy, you’re so fine! I wanna make you miiiine! Cause you’re so pretty!”
An explosion of blue light erupted in Anne’s eyes as she suddenly went very still.
Sasha, meanwhile, didn’t even notice when her fist clenched her Boba so hard that the drink exploded.
**********
Marcy sat in her own personal hell as the excited fan continued to sing, badly, about how much he liked her and wanted her to go on a date with him.
Marcy coughed into her fist, and made sure to use the hand that had both her wedding rings on it. He failed to notice and continued to sing badly.
“Ohhh Marcyyyyy-”
“Hey!”
Anne stomped up to the fan, her metal boots clanking on the ground as she did so. She leaned over the man, glaring at him. “That’s our Mar-Mar. We already called dibs!”
The watching crowd all began to mutter and look between her and Marcy, who had proceeded to bury her face into her hands at Anne’s comment. The couple dressed up as Queen Olivia and Sir Yunnan began to chuckle.
“Wha- You can’t call dibs on a person!” The fan, who’s nametag read ‘Jacob’ said shocked.
“Well that’s too damn bad cause me and Sasha already did!” Anne yelled, holding up her gauntleted hand to show off her wedding rings. “We got dibs. Go find your own Marcy.”
“Wait, I thought she was married to that woman?” Jacob pointed behind Anne back at the Table. Anne turned back just in time to see Sasha make her move.
“Ohh Marbles. Have I told you how beautiful you are today?” Sasha said with a smirk, sitting on the booth table and crooking Marcy’s head up towards hers with a metal clad finger. Marcy had descended into a blushing mess at this and was now spluttering incoherently.
“Every time I see you, I remember how much I love you.” Sasha, looking Jacob in the eye out of the corner of hers, leaned in and began to kiss her wife.
Marcy’s face now perfectly resembled a tomato with how red it was, and if one were to listen to her thoughts they would find that her whole mind had begun to bluescreen from the situation.
“Wha- Hey! I want to kiss her too!” Anne, blushing up a storm, managed to stomp her way over to her wives and pulled Marcy away and cupped her face with both hands. Marcy had just enough time to stammer before Anne leaned in and began to kiss her as well.
Sasha smirked before turning her head to look down at Jacob, who looked crestfallen. Her face looked so imperious that everyone watching thought she was Princess Akana brought to life. Which made sense, since for all her protestations to the latter Marcy had in fact based them on her and her wives.
“Marcy is ours. Our wife, not yours.” Sasha channeled all her training from Toad Tower and all her teenage socialite training to perfect a look of such imperious disdain that all watching grew just a little afraid of her. “Go find your own Marcy.”
Jacob, not wanting to mess with the incredibly scary blonde in very realistic looking armor, grabbed his autograph and scurried off.
Sasha waited till he was out of sight before deflating with a sigh, leaning back to look at her wives. “You okay there Mar-mar?”
Anne had finally let up on kissing her wife and stepped back just a little awkwardly, remembering how public this all was and growing just a little mortified. ‘Can’t believe I grew that jealous…’ She thought to herself embarrassed.
Marcy meanwhile, was still trying to recover from the back to back make out’s with her wives. Her face had gone beyond tomato red and was rapidly approaching fire truck red. Her mouth opened and closed but no sound came out at all, or at least no sound audible to human ears. She looked between the two of them like a fish out of water, just staring.
“Hah! That was amazing!” All three girls turned to see the couple from before, the ones cosplaying as Olivia and Yunan, approaching with smirks on their face. “Took me and Cait by surprise when that guy just dropped to his knees and proposed like that! Good job staking your claim like that though, props!” The amazonian woman, dressed to the nines in a regal dress and tiara, gave them a thumbs up while her wife, and Sasha could see the ring on her finger so she knew they were married, giggled at them in her head to toe suit of green plate armor.
They walked off whispering to one another, and Sasha turned to look back at her wives.
“Well, I think that went well.”
“We- what the heck was that!?” Marcy yelled, her mind still trying to recover.
Anne rubbed her foot against the floor and looked away. “We just… we saw that guy and, well… felt a little jealous?”
“A little jealous? You both made out with me in open public after claiming me for yourselves!”
Sasha frowned a bit “How mad are you right now?”
Marcy breathed in, then breathed out, and looked them both in the eye. “I will be soo mad if you both don’t continue right now!”
Marcy tried not to laugh as she saw her wives blush up storms at that.
‘Two can play that game girls!’ She thought to herself.
#amphibia#anne boonchuy#sasha waybright#marcy wu#sashannarcy#sashannarcy week 2022#sashannarcy week#minor the owl house crossover#cause the nerd is Jacob Hopkins#jacob hopkins#he gets dunked on#as is tradition
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