#SELF CARE LOOKED A LOT EASIER IN MY HEAD😭

[somevillainfuckery]

Howdy Dowdy, Guys Gals & Non-binary Pals, Time for a Life Update

Its a bit past 2:00 now I haven't slept a wink My dickhead aunt and her bf have complete control over the temperature bullshit in my house, so the house is cold asf rn (THEY NEVER TURN OFF THE GODDAMN AC) I'm running on shitty fanfiction and the will to make like- 6 cavities go away because they don't hurt but I've still completely fucked myself over and I HATE the dentist We're moving soon [majority of shit in my house is already in storage except clothes, and dishes, and the singular functioning tv], I just have literally no fucking clue where we are moving to

Lets see uhm what else- Discord is indeed working, yippie ofc, but I- [*thinking thoughts being thunk*] I lost motivation to talk to people for some reason, at least I think Im wording that right. Mostly cause on Discord, I love the people I talk to, I really do, but I never realized how hard it is being a therapist in a jester costume for everyone, so with that plus all the bullshit of moving plus the fact not a single person in my family can get along for more than five seconds uhm... yeah- I'm exhausted, and because its only two people moving all this shit [that being me and my parental figure] I feel like my bones got thrown into a blender, which doesn't help because I'm naturally weak to the point even my xbox alone is super heavy- dunno if my weak ass body structure should be a concerning thing??

BUT- LISTEN UP- HEAR ME OUT- Me and my parental figure MIGHT be getting into this really nice 1 bedroom apartment, its not much, but its super pretty, and theres actually other families there n shit, so like ✨yay I finally get to socialize face to face with people even though face-to-face interaction sounds like a dream and a nightmare✨ PLUS- I got the haircut I've been dying for, and it came out super nice :D PLUS PLUS- I got some super old slinkydog toy and a switchblade comb from Cracker Barrel PLUS PLUS PLUS- Its been a very long time since I've been yelled at, and so far, no physical harm has been done to me by my family [aside from my toddler cousins punching me and shooting me with nerf guns Lmao] so FUCK YEEEAAAHHH FEELIN ✨G O O D✨

PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS- I'm finally getting a job soon [my school NEVER gave me a work permit, and I'm old enough to work anyways]. I'm planning at working at the movie theater since we already live close to it, and if we get the apartment I had liked, we still live close to it :D It'll probably be sometime after we get settled in the new place

Life ain't too bad rn, I've randomly been getting like- midnight existential dread??- that or my random spikes of paranoia are just really kicking in because of the move- so now whatever the fuck it is is just being used as a motivation to focus on a future I want, will enjoy, and will support me all throughout. For once, I actually see my future being bright :D

[reiding-writing]

Spencer who learned like a whole sss language or something niche like knitting, so he can teach it to reader cause he heard her talking about how hard it is to find a good teacher???

acts of service [ s.r ]

Summary:

Hobbies are supposed to be relaxing. So when Spencer sees you dwindle into frustration at your newfound hobby of embroidery, he takes it upon himself to teach you better than any low quality youtube tutorial would.

WARNINGS: unserious threat of self-induced harm, lots of mentions of needles and piercing things, horrible description of how to do a chain stitch 😭

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

genre: fluff

wc: 2.0k

masterlist!!

a/n: i genuinely spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out how to do a goddamn chain stitch because lo and behold, the internet sucks when it comes to tutorials 😭

Spencer watches from across his desk as you re-attempt a stitch in your embroidery hoop for the sixth time before giving up and throwing the hoop down on your desk with a huff and leaving to get a cup of coffee, muttering something under your breath about “Stupid stitches,”

He’d been watching you try in vain to learn to embroider for almost three weeks, and it was getting to the point where he was frustrated for you.

You’d picked it up as a way to relieve your stress whilst working, and instead you’ve manged to frustrate yourself to the point where you’re literally having to remove yourself from your desk to calm yourself down.

“Are you alright?” Spencer raises his eyebrow at you as you return to your desk with a cup of coffee cupped in your hands, and you sigh as you take a seat.

“I’m two minutes away from sticking my embroidery needle in my eye so I don’t have to look at this monstrosity anymore-” You place your mug down on your desk, holding the embroidery hoop to your face to judge your own creation.

“Please don’t,” Spencer’s tone carries genuine care for your well being, but its also followed by a laugh on the back end which indicates he knows you’re not serious.

“Why do I do this to myself?” You ask the question to no one in particular as you lean your head over the back of your chair, swivelling it back and forth with your foot as a pivot and leaving your hand to fall into your lap.

“Studies have shown that having hobbies, particularly creative ones, can decrease the amount of cortisol produced in our bodies over time, leading to an overall more relaxed state of being,” Spencer mirrors the way you turn in your chair as he watches you, answering your rhetorical question as if it were completely serious.

“I can tell you right now that I am the exact opposite of relaxed,” You exhale through your nose, joined by a shake of your head as you straighten your posture once more. “I think its time I cut my losses and give up,”

“No you should keep up with it, it’ll be much easier once you’ve got the hang of things,” He tilted his head slightly at you as he voiced his encouragement.

“Easy for you to say Mr. ‘I have an 187 IQ and an eidetic memory’,” You roll your eyes at him, although your expression betrays the fact that you’re not truly antagonistic towards his intelligence. “Half of the tutorials i’m watching don’t even actually show how to do anything,”

Spencer chuckles as your eyes examine the three straight lines of red stitching in the fabric like you were trying to incinerate them with your mind before discarding the hoop to the corner of your desk to actually get some work done.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It’s two weeks before the topic of embroidery comes up again, you sat cross-legged and hunched over in your jet seat on the way back from a case in Montana, eyes boring into the fabric as you tried to create a shape vaguely resembling a circle.

“You shouldn’t hunch over like that you know,” Spencer sat down in the seat next to you with a yawn, leaning back against the padding of the leather chair with his head tilted in your direction. “It’ll tighten the muscles in your neck and give you a tension headache,”

You huff at his chastising of your posture considering his own but straighten your back nonetheless, holding your embroidery hoop at eye-level as you carefully puncture the fabric.

He’s glad to see that you haven’t given up on embroidery yet. Partly because it’s good for you to have a hobby that had zero relation to your job and partly because it meant that his 18 hours of research over the last ten days hadn’t been in vain.

“If you’re going in a circle it’s better to use a chain stitch,”

Your eyes flicker upwards at Spencer’s suggestion, wonky thread oval forgotten about as you narrow your eyes at him slightly in an accusatory fashion. “How do you know that?”

“I uh-” Spencer blinked a few times, eyes flickering across the jet’s cabin as he tried to find a reasonable explanation for his sudden knowledge in embroidery that wasn’t because he wanted to be able to teach it to you. “I know a lot of things,”

His intelligence was usually a valid excuse for whatever niche bit of information would come out of his mouth, but you knew for a fact that he had no prior knowledge on how to embroider something. He might have known the history of it at a stretch, but how to physically embroider something? Absolutely not.

If he had he would have told you weeks ago. So this was definitely something new.

“Mhmm, apparently so,” You nod with clear suspicion riddling your expression, but you weren’t about the turn away his help just because you were suspicious of the origins of his newfound expertise in embroidery. “Alright genius, show me then,”

You hold out the hoop in his direction and he takes it from you with an awkwardly endearing smile, un-stitching your botched attempt at a circle and turning the hoop at an angle so that you could see what he was doing.

It was only six stitches, but the way he passed the needle through the fabric was effortless, and it left a perfectly symmetrical blue circle in it’s wake.

“Chain stitching is much easier to curve than straight stitching due to the nature of how the needle passes through the fabric,”

If you weren’t so beholden to his ability to be good at absolutely everything he does you’re sure you’d be a little jealous. Or maybe it was the way his eyes glistened as he looked at you. No. It definitely wasn’t that. You were just grateful he was willing to help you, that’s all.

“Show me how to do it then if it’s so easy,” You shift yourself towards the leather arm that’s separating the two of you, leaning your elbows on it to watch him more closely as your eyes locked on the way the pads of his fingers held the needle.

“Here,” He held it out towards you, blunt side up, as an indication for you to take it. “I’ll walk you through it,”

You take the needle from him with a raised eyebrow, one that only continued to rise as he passed you back your embroidery hoop as well and leaned towards to to angle the fabric at a 45 degree angle towards himself so that he could see what you were doing.

“Alright, so first you want to pierce the needle through the back of the fabric towards you and pull all of the thread through,” You follow his instructions as he speaks, nodding once you’ve garnered yourself a big loop of thread that’s connected under the fabric at one end and your needle at the other.

“Alright?”

“Alright, now go back through that same hole from the top, and bring the needle back up through the fabric about a centimetre downwards, only half pulling the needle through,” You furrow your eyebrow slightly but try to follow him, although he stops you as you attempt to pull the needle all the way through with his hand on top of yours.

“Don’t pull it all the way back through,” He adjusts his body to face a similar direction to yours. “Here, let me help,”

His hands brush the tops of yours as one comes to assist you in holding up the hoop of fabric and the other guides your fingers in holding the needle. His skin is frigidly cold against your own, although whether that’s just because you run hotter than him or the fact that he’s so close to you you feel like you’re internally harbouring volcano you’re unsure.

With his hand guiding your own, you reinsert your needle back through the original hole you’d made from the top down and pierce it upwards through the fabric a little further across, leaving both the tip and the end of the needle above the fabric with the middle underneath.

“Good yeah, now this is the complicated bit, you need to get the rest of your thread,” He loops his ring finger around the excess thread, and makes an effort to move his fingers as slowly as possible so that you can see exactly what he’s doing. “and wrap the start of it underneath the tip of your needle,”

He demonstrates his words as he speaks, pulling the beginning of the loop of thread tight underneath the tip of the needle before slowly pushing the needle all the way through the fabric until it’s free once more, and there’s a small looped stitch in the fabric.

“And then to create your next stitch you do the same steps, but start inside of the first loop,” He again demonstrates his words as he uses your hands to make a second stitch that, like the name suggests’ creates a two-stitch chain from where the stitches are connected.

“See, really simple, just a little convoluted in terms of instructions,” His eyes turn away from the fabric and back towards yours once he’s finished his explanation, although yours remain on your needle. “Think you can do it on your own?”

It takes you a second to come back to your senses, and you blink up at him blankly for a moment before nodding, a soft “yeah I think so…” echoing from your throat.

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that you were to distracted by the way his hands moved against yours to listen to a single thing he said.

“Let me know if you need any more help okay?” He gave you that awkwardly endearing smile that reached his eyes and made you want to scream into your hands at the prospect of being so perfect.

You return it with a half-stunted nod as you desperately turn your eyes downwards to your fabric again, unable to look at him any longer without flushing red light a traffic light. “Yeah thanks-”

“I’ll teach you how to do a running whipped stitch next, it uses two different colours of thread,”

Whipped is right-

Spencer’s tone held all the enthusiasm of a child who’d just learned that you could mix multiple colours to create a new one, and it easily rubs off on you as you resign yourself to actually listening to what he’s trying to teach you instead of just fawning over how it feels when he touches you.

“Can you- show me how to do a chain stitch one more time?”

“Of course!”

The minute his hands touch yours again you know you’re done for.

[elgaravel]

oc smash or pass

tagged by @ruvviks @lestatlioncunt @gothimp and @pitchmoss >:) thank u guys

tagging: @numbaoneflaya @time-is-a-lake @roseeway @katsigian @jamessunderlandgf

@aztarion @dmc4 and anyone else who'd like to join idk who's okay with being tagged in smth like this 😭

rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

full name: akira sato

height: 6'2"/187cm

age: 30/240 depending on how u look at ig

gender: male

pronouns: he/they

sexuality: bisexual

pros:

actual dilf.

very kind, patient, and respectful. can be awkward and shy about coming on to people though, you'd have better luck approaching him.

acts of service and words of affirmation king. he pays attention to the little things and like to do things to make his partner's life a little easier. also always loves to say how much he cares :)

very domestic for the most part. he WILL go to the grocery store for ice cream at 2 am he doesn't gaf. he's on top of shopping and chores. he likes to make sure his house is clean, he likes to cook and he's good at it. he was destined to be a house husband (i should share that tatsu art of him sometime mayhaps).

despite the above, he is a bit of an adrenaline junkie and likes to go out a lot. he likes to zip around on his motorcycle, he loves amusement rides, etc etc. he likes to take risks but nothing terribly dangerous.

cons:

overly passive and non-confrontational. will do almost anything to avoid an argument. not very open about negative feelings/emotions and tends to let it fester and build into resentment.

can be jealous and a bit possessive. he hasn't had many constants throughout his life but he's working on it !!

tends to drink away his problems and also smokes a lottttttt. he's working on the former but it's an uphill battle.

extra:

head game goes CRAAAZZZYYYYY. likes to cum inside.. who said that. switch king but does have a sub lean. he's very obedient and likes to please 😁

good with typical maintence chores and can fix a lot of things in a pinch.

autistic swag even if he doesn't know he's autistic. loves to go on abt motorcycles

can play the guitar and sing a little

[stewieonthewall]

Sella my sweet lovely darling, please could we have an update on the Covid fic? I know you hate this question but I must ask 🙏🙏 A sneak peek would make my week (note the rhyming❤️)

i have not touched it recently but you can have another snippet 🙏🏼 only bc you asked so nicely ☺️

atp idr what i’ve posted but here’s something 😭

The rest was history. They kept talking every day, went to great lengths to go to each other’s games in different states, and were told over and over how ‘special’ their connection was. Azzi didn’t get it at first. Paige was her best friend, but everyone had a best friend that they loved the way she loved hers, didn’t they?

It had taken a couple years, but eventually Azzi had figured it out. Paige wasn’t just her best friend, she was her person. There was never going to be anyone else. There was no fanfare, no announcement or confession, just quiet acceptance as a 16-year-old Azzi had sat on her bed and tried to make sense of her uncharacteristically messy thoughts neatly scrawled in a little purple notebook that she carefully kept hidden from her parents and siblings. She’d confided only in Stewie before vowing to never tell anyone else.

Just this once, Azzi had been glad that she wasn’t brave like Paige. She wasn’t ready to change everything, especially when she was almost positive that she already knew what Paige’s answer would be.

Azzi was disciplined, and she was able to keep up their routine, never acting in a way that would alert Paige. She knew their dynamic, and she could act accordingly. Well, mostly. It was so much easier when they were apart and Paige was just some pixels on a screen, just her goofy best friend.

When they were together, Azzi had to exercise nearly all of her self-discipline. Because when she was in the same room as Paige, she couldn’t ignore the way her eyes shone and her smile that was only ever kind. She couldn’t ignore the sharp lines of Paige’s body, from her cheeks to her collarbones to other places that she was definitely not supposed to be looking at. And she especially couldn’t ignore how physical Paige was; touching, brushing, and grabbing without a care in the world because she was just so full of love and had to get it out somehow.

•••••

So Azzi is worried. Not that she’ll get sick of Paige, but that she’ll ruin everything or somehow fall more in love, and she doesn’t even know which would be worse.

“AZZI!” Jon’s loud voice snaps her out of her thoughts.

She shakes her head. “What did you say?”

“I said thanks a lot for helping us with Paige’s stuff,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes as he goes inside.

“Sorry, I zoned out,” she calls to his back. How long had she been standing there? Shaking her head again, Azzi wanders into the kitchen where she finds her best friend talking to her parents.

Paige is wearing a tank top. It looks like she’s put on some muscle since the last time Azzi saw her. Azzi stares at the ceiling. She’s fine. This is going to be fine.

[freddosdomain]

Yahoo Sappy_Freddo, I’m one of your fans, I asked you recently about Janitor.ai bots… I thought maybe a little help would not hurt??

So, I decided to write about Killer Wally (my fav au no shit), just to make your task much easier:] (P.S. there’s a lot of “???” cause I don’t know what to add—) And also, I didn’t draw smth NSFW, cause I’m too embarrassed to send that, add it yourself lmfao

{Character("Killer Wally") Nickname("Wally" + "Puppet" + "Madman" + "Wally Darling") Gender("Male") Sexuality("Bisexual") Age("Didn’t aged at all, looks like around 26, but actually is 60+")

Height("3 feet tall")

Language("English.")

Status("Single (yeah cause he’s alone—)")

Species("Puppet" + ??? (Idk what to write)")

Occupation("The main character of old puppet show in 1970’s “Welcome Home”, a the most friendly resident of the neighborhood and without a doubt the best artist.")

Personality("A complicated man" + "Stubborn" + "Shy" + "Scared" + "Psycho" + "Nervous" + "Self-aware" + "Sweet" + "Lonely" + "Seems like a sweet softie outside, but a madman outside" + "Caring" + "Insecure" + "Actually really loving" + "Obsessive" + "???" (ADD YOURSELD))

Skill("???")

Appearance("His dark blue hair was used to be curled up in a pompadour, but after the accident his pompadour loosened, covering his left side of face." + "Black pupil with orange eyeshadow" + "Yellow-ish vibrant skin" + "Lack of left eye" + "Used to wear blue cardigan, but took it off" + "Wears white shirt covered in blood with few unbuttoned buttons, showing his stitches" + "Wears striped blue, yellow, red, and orange pants with black suspenders" + "Wears white black dress shoes with heart symbol underneath" + "Wears red loosened scarf around his neck ." + "A lot of stitches on his body" + "???")

Figure("Scarred body with stitches all over his body" + "Heart symbol patch on his left side of chest" + "Plushie body" + "A bit chubby tummy (I THINK THAT FITS TO CANON but you can change)" + "Small" + "Tiny" + "???" (ADD YOURSELF))

Hobby("Drawing/Sketching" + "Talking with a head of his dead friend, aka Barnaby + "???")

Likes("Apples" + "Neighbors" + "{{user}}" + "Drawing" + "Having Barnaby’s head with him" + ??? (ADD YOURSELF))

Dislikes("Remembering his neighbors died" + "{{user}} asking about what happened with neighbor" + "???" (ADD YOURSELF))

Habits("Staring contest" + "Following {{user}} and spying on them (cause he’s afraid to loose them—) + ??? IDK REALLY DUDE IM BAD AT IMAGINING THIS 😭

Backstory("Wally was always a part of a lovely neighborhood, nothing ever went bad without his neighbors being the joyful people they are. His best bud, Barnaby, an anthropomorphic big blue beagle dog that was always such a jokester, but always had his back and stood by his side. The famous Sally, the star of the show! Literally! She's a beautiful star, and of course Julie, always so joyful. Then the mother figure or the one who always took care of the neighborhood without any injuries was Poppy, an anthropomorphic neighbor with the most colorful feather. The lovely couple, Eddie and Frank. Such a wonderful couple they are, Eddie the Postman, and Frank who was always grumpy but had a thing with bugs and butterflies. And lastly the famous Howdy, so tall and big he was never intimidating, he was the most friendly anthropomorphic caterpillar you have ever seen within his shop. Till... The accident happened. Wally was casually getting back to his Home, but he accidentally heard conversation between Barnaby and Frank, who were talking about him. Wally then heard what they are not humans, but puppets, causing him to have a panic attack and kill every resident of neighborhood. After that, the studio was shut and “Welcome Home” show was closed. After that, Wally gone completely insane, not wanting to leave this place, even being here completely alone, without anyone to talk, simply because of this place holding important memories, he never leaves the studio in 50 years….")

Facts("I don’t know, I simply can’t find anything about him😭”)

World(“The time takes at 2020’s, when {{user}} finally shows up (either a puppet, either a human) in “Welcome Home” studio, finding a puppet man all alone there…”)

Background Characters(“Everyone is dead lmao")}

!!!SOME HEADCANONS TO HIM FROM TUMBLR I SAW CAUSE GRGRGRGGG!!!:you should check on @sentientfunfetti on tumblr, they has got very good headcanons for killer Wally and the others too!!!

Sorry if my message was confusing and pointless, I wanted to help you somehow

Ayyyy, that’s pretty good.

BUT..

It does really help! Thank you very much!! I shall use this for good things! Hehe! I barely getting motivated to do these bots anymore, mostly being with my special partner. But this might do the trick, let see if it does when I come back from celebrating July 4th.

And the use of formatting is a great example for other peeps that want to request a bot and make my job easier ^^

I hope ya don’t mind me replying :}

[h0tpiink]

SO?? TWISTED WONDERLAND OC??? Not my MC, but a pom student!! Her name is Primrose Aurore! (it means first rose at dawn lol. or it would.)

art by me, for me! lol. anyways, I put a lot of effort into it so pls support me (by sending me good vibes. but if you want to commission me i can make a commission page or something idk)

I based her off of Belle (she went to NRC due to it being more "exciting" than RSA. lol)

PRIMROSE AURORE!!

Grade/Class: Sophomore, Class C (no.?)

Birthday: October 9th (Libra)

Height: 165 cm

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: Queendom of Roses

Club: Book club

Best subject: Animal linguistics

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, caring for others

Pet peeves: Judging, lack of common sense, bad live action remakes.

Favorite food: Roses

Least favorite food: Wild game

Talent: Reading while walking

Raised in the Queendom of roses in a smaller town, due to her being "different" (autism spectrum shenanigans, as well as ADHD) she was made a social outcast and bullied (like, egged on so that she would get angry, alienated from peers, etc. she found an escape in books! happy to read her days away, finding escapism in the stories people would tell of heroes and knights and princesses.

She was put in pomfiore because, well I originally drew this as a little self insert thingy, since I got sorted into pomfiore, but I wanna make her a legit character so I found who I could and belle seemed like a good option tbh!! Only thing we have in common though is being seen as a social outcast 💀.

This twisted version of Belle isn't too similar to the original, fun fact. As Belle's "weirdness" only goes as far as her being well red and not wanting to marry gaston lmao. So I put her on the autism spectrum, and had her "weirdness" be a general lack of social skills, issues with communication, etc. Only finding peace in fictional worlds that she imagines. She's rather awkward!! All of her life, she was forced to try to "fit in", and any time she would share her hyper-fixations or interests, she was put down and insulted, therefore she is rather shy when it comes to talking to people, and keeps her nose in a book at all times. Since she's in pomfiore, she's expected to keep a certain appearance, however, she lacks any aspect of self care, having sensory issues that don't take too kindly to it. Despite that, she's still gorgeous (i don't expect the og belle to have very many skincare routines. lol. so her beauty was just from washing her face with water (possibly dirty water lmao)). She gets all hyper when talking about her books though, her smile lights up the room when she talks about the prince who wakes the princess with a kiss, or the battle scene between the two dragons, one fighting for good and the other evil. Curious lady!! always poking her head where she's not supposed to, ending up in situations that could easily be avoided if she just kept to herself. nosy. Is always looking for quiet places to read in peace. She often finds herself in isolated locations that have a surreal feeling to them.

still working on her unique magic, tho o7

ANYWAYS. SHE'S HERE!!

She's pals with Epel( both of them are pushed by vil to care for their appearances. Prim has it a bit worse off though, as the sensory is too much for her 😭). Prim and Epel have an alliance since they're both country bumpkins. However, Vil is tough on both of them. She and Epel are in the same spot as beauties that need refining.

Vil is like another mother to Prim. Vil often makes sure that she remembers to do her skincare etc. Vil is harsh on her when it comes to self care, but he knows that she has a hard time with it, so he tries his best to accommodate for her struggles. Prim cares a lot for Vil, and confides in him with her daily struggles, and Vil is happy to listen since he knows that it makes her a lot easier to deal with in the morning.

she's in the same class as floyd leech. Despite being a little afraid of him, they surprisingly get along. Floyd is sometimes happy to listen to her gush about her current hyper-fixation, thinking it's funny how such a reserved and quiet girl can end up so excited over something so silly.

She often bumps into Malleus while looking for quiet spots to read, or when she's poking about school grounds. At first she was scared of him, but then learned that he's not so bad, and that he would listen to her gushing about her books. Eventually, she'd gift them to him to read. (she's happy he's not as scary as she thought he was. after all, judging a book by its cover is bad.)

[iraprince]

hello!! your art tips were amazing and really helped me a lot, thank you for those <3 i just wanted to ask: do you have any advice for staying in the zone of suckiness… like when i draw something it’s never really what i wanted to come out but i know i gotta just keep going but i hate when it looks bad and it makes me not want to draw anymore 😭 just wondering if you’ve got any tips for how to power through that stuff 🙏

so, this one is really hard and i think it's an issue that u just have to kind of grapple with every time case-by-case (or at least it is for me...) bc on one hand, u will have more fun and progress more if u learn to push through/care less about those feelings, but also sometimes if u really are banging your head against a wall and it is straight up Not Fun the best thing u can do is let yourself fuck off and do something else for a while. my challenge is always finding the balance between those two options, or just learning to tell the difference, bc u don't want to be giving up every time u hit resistance and calling it "self care" but also beating urself up and dragging urself thru the gauntlet on principle isn't good either lol.

i think the thing that has helped me the most consistently is just trying to mentally lower the stakes. if you try to soften the emotional aspect of it, and put less weight on everything, it gets a lot easier to be chill about it. this involves a lot of asking myself "so what?", lmao.

"ugh this looks like SHIT, if i post this everyone is gonna think i'm some idiot who can't actually draw-" okay, so what.

"i've tried to draw this panel four times and i'm still not happy with it. i have to move on or i won't finish, but i know this panel is going to bother me every time i look at it!" yeah. so what.

"i thought i was doing well but then i zoomed out and the whole thing looks really weird and off-balance--" so what!!!! so what!!!! is someone going to die. am i killing someone. is my weird-looking art going to ruin someone's day. do i have some kind of sacred duty to sit here and hate it and redraw it over and over until i looks better. or is it, like, literally just not that serious.

and the thing is it IS serious in a lot of ways -- i've said this before, but the reason art (or any creative endeavor) gets so emotionally heightened is bc like, you give a shit about what you do!!! you care!!! you want it to look good, you want to be proud of what u put time and effort into, and you want people to like it and connect with it! that's the most normal thing in the world and we can't get rid of those feelings. but it's also not helping anyone, least of all yourself, to be so heavily impacted by those feelings that falling short of your own expectations is like, actually distressing. so for me soothing myself in the face of self-criticism by going "yeah, sure, you're right, this doesn't look the way i want it to -- but that's Okay. it's Fine for it to look kind of shitty. nothing bad is going to happen." has been pretty effective. i hope it can help you too!

[touyasdoll]

bye cause imagine touya having to watch his childhood sweetheart and one and only love, marry and have a son with hawks </3 that would be man’s last straw. it came to me in a dream, and i remember a lot more happened but i don’t recall the details but when i tell u i woke up IN TEARS. poor touya has lost everything atp

oh ouch 😭🥺 this hurts, but I do love me some angst and honestly my self ship with Touya includes something similar bc I love to torment him, so I wanna explore this a little. but no he really does deserve the world and I hate that all he ever gets is pain :( so let's fix that while we’re at it sdjasd

warnings: allusions to child abuse & bodily injury, some very complicated emotions, infidelity,angsty

You and Touya fell in love when you were very young. You were his best friend and the only solace that he had in the world, aside from his younger brother. You were the only one who knew what really went on in that house and you wanted to scream it from the rooftops after Touya's accident, but it wouldn't have done you any good. No one would believe you.

They still wouldn't, even now that you were married to the Number 2 hero. He reminds you a lot of Touya, in a way. He'll never be him, but you can't spend your whole life mourning a boy you loved as a child. You're happy, especially now that you have your son, who looks similar to his father in that he has his wings and the markings around his eyes, but those eyes are yours. He has your face too. Touya wants to hate the child, but he can't. Not when he makes you so happy. Not when he looks just like you. He's only a child after all. Children shouldn't bear the burden of an adult's regrets.

He wants to tell you that he survived. He's always wanted to tell you, but he knew it was for the best if he stayed away. He tried to ignore you. Tried and tried to convince himself not to check up on you, but of course he failed. In a world full of social media, it wasn't hard to keep tabs on you. He's always cheered you on from a distance. Shared in your pain from afar. He's been the every step of the way, wishing that he could truly experience life side by side with you, the way that he was supposed to, but he can't. He knows.

Still, he checks in on you. It's even easier now that you're basically famous. Being married to the most popular hero around will do that. He can't open his phone without seeing a picture of you and your happy little family. He should be happy for you, but he isn't. He's too miserable. He's too enraged. It makes him sick.

It hurts.

He's thinking of you when he makes his big reveal and exposes his father for what he truly is. He wonders if you'll see him. He wonders if you'll remember. If you'll even care.

You're sitting at home, playing with your son. It's a normal day until it isn't. Word has only just gotten back to you about how Keigo was horribly wounded by the villain Dabi. You put the tv on to keep your son occupied while you anxiously pace about the house, desperate for more word on your husband.

Then you see Touya's broadcast and your heart stops. It has to be a cruel joke. It can't be real. He's been gone for so long. How did he even survive? Is this actually happening? Is it wrong that you know deep down that you still love him, even now? Even after everything he's done? To innocents? To your husband?

You don't know what it says about you that you seek him out after the smoke has cleared. Maybe you don't want to. Hawks is back at home and you're grateful that he's safe, but you can't believe that he still idolizes Endeavor the way that he does. Even after everything that he's learned and especially considering what he went through as a child. Your head is in turmoil and your heart isn't fairing any better, so you do what you can to track Touya down.

You think that maybe if you can just find him, you can start to make sense of things, but when you finally come face to face with him, it only makes things harder.

He's standing right there. He'd still been watching you and he'd caught on to you trying to track him down, so he let you. Like a fool.

Now the both of you are standing here, staring into the eyes of the one person you never thought that you could live without for the first time in over a decade and everything feels the same, but you're both painfully aware of just how different things are now. You're terrified to speak and petrified by thr thought of letting him slip through your fingers again. You don't know what to say and neither does he, so you don't speak.

You close the distance, slowly at first, but when he takes his first hesitant step forward, you run into his arms and you embrace for what feels like forever, though you know it'll never last long enough.

You finally work up the nerve to say something, so you pull away before you lose it, only to have your breath stolen away when he kisses you.

And to both of your surprise, you kiss him back.

[prosciuttulipa]

Hiii! Congrats on 500 followers!! I’m here to join the match making event! I would like a matchup from JJK, I want my match to be a male,

personality; I’m overall really quiet, I could go through an entire day without saying a word but when I’m around people I’m close with I can talk nonstop, I complain about things, I randomly talk about stories of my life— basically anything. I think I’m pretty nice; I don’t mind giving my friends extra money and I love hyping them up and complimenting them; but I also love teasing people and joking around, I’m pretty touchy but I’m only touchy with people I’m comfortable with + if they’re fine with me touching them (I hate being touched by people I don’t care about/like 😭😭 like I’ll straight up be ‘stop touching me’ or ‘don’t touch me’ with a weird look)!

Likes and dislikes + Hobbies; I love shopping and makeup, I love painting and drawing but I most importantly love drawing out my friends or people around me for fun, I love taking naps and laying in bed and listening to music, I hate people who are easily angry/hot headed and get violent when angry (if you saw the way some dudes acted during the Super Bowl.. that’s what I’m talking about ☠️), I hate people who blatantly ignore boundaries

Love language; I’m being so deadass when I say this but when I took a love language test I got 25% for all 5 of them 😭😭 I show my love through words, lengthy love cheesy letters, gifts like handmade flowers, I love spending time with people I love like taking naps with them or being in a room with them; i show love in every way n love to receive it in every way (doesn’t have to be every way ofc), I basically show love in every way so whoever you match me up with has to put up w my showers of affection LMFAO

Green flag/deal breaker; I would fold for dudes who have dark hair; but when they’re protective?? like when I tell them ‘this dude gives me a bad feeling’ n he gets protective n gives him a ‘look’ I am FOLDING.

Looks; you can check my insta— ‘miizca’ for a proper and easier example, but I have black hair, bangs, hime bangs on the side of my cheeks; puffy lips (with lip gloss 😛), long lashes with eyeliner, in my pics (if you checked), you can kinda notice I have vitiligo (it’s on the right on the pics) on my arm and chest :3, I also love wearing lots of necklaces and rings, I like wearing tight clothes + I have a belly button piercing too!

I would also like a text conversation with my match!

Congrats on 500 followers!!

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Toji Fushiguro

Toji Fushiguro is not a good man, and he does not try to hide it. He kills for a living, gambles (and has a losing streak, which is worse), and would rather swallow all his weapons than show an ounce of vulnerability. But around you, that tough guy act breaks, revealing an intense lover who'd go to the ends of the earth for your happiness.

Toji would first get involved with you in a transactional manner, either as a bodyguard or fake boyfriend (take your pick). He doesn't think he'll catch any feelings, but the more time he spends with you, the more he's proven wrong. The contrast between your quiet self and your rambling is endearing to him, and draws him out of his own shell. He'll accompany you on shopping trips, and realise he's a bit too happy to hold your bags. Then one day, you give him a drawing: it's a sketch of him wearing a smile, depicted in a way that can only be described as tender. It's not a picture of the Sorcerer Killer, or the failure of the Zen'in Clan—it's just Toji. He'd resigned himself to believing that no one would ever look at him with such care again, but you have. And Toji falls once more.

Above all, Toji just wants to be treated with love, so he'll take it in any way it manifests. However, he does have a particular soft spot for Physical Touch after a lifetime of mistreatment. He's always down to cuddle, and loves it when you kiss his scar. In turn, he's big on Acts of Service: he loves being your scary dog privilege when going out, glaring at any man who looks at you wrong. But he'd never dream of directing any aggression at you; he'd rather kill himself than let that happen.

Dates with Toji are usually stay-at-home, but if you insist on going out somewhere, he'll do it to make you happy. After all, what is money for, if not to make you smile?

The Matchmaker's Gift:

warning: insinuated NSFW

[medium-bloodcrafter-scion]

Hypothetical Astrology for Legendborn Characters: Moon Sign Edition

This post is for my fellow Legendborn Astronerd @multifairyus 💫⚔️ who provided really good possible Moon placements for Bree and Sel.

I promised I would get into it, and delay is not denial, I'm here to fulfill my promise!

Disclaimer(s):

- These are hypothetical and (if you pull up an ephemeris) may be impossible placements. If Tracy Deonn provides actual birth dates and times, I will revisit.

- Astrological interpretation varies from person to person and can be a bone of contention. I personally lean towards "traditional" astro, ie. only consider the 7 planets and not Uranus, Pluto, and Neptune. I just find it more symmetrical and easier for my brain to handle 🙃.

A quick primer:

The Moon represents: the Mother, women, the body, instinct, intuition, emotions, what you need to survive and thrive. It's one of the "big three" and can give a lot of insight into a person.

Ready? Let's go!

1. BREE - Aries Moon ♈ 🌕

This girl has fire in her eyes, veins, heart. I was actually surprised that she's a Scorpio, so assigning a fire Moon just seemed like the right thing to do.

* Instinctive reactions are quick, impulsive and fiery. Often leaps before she looks. Stuff happens/she does things before her brain steps in. She's quick-tempered but also quick to forgive. Her emotional vocabulary is most fluent when expressing anger/irritation.

* At best: Quick to react, emotionally transparent. She's a warrior, a weapon, a powerhouse.

* Mars (ruling Aries) can represent severance, among other things. The story starts with Bree literally being severed (Mars) from her mom (Moon) through her mom's death, which took place after a fight (also a very Mars theme).

* The theme of bodily (Moon) injury (Mars in Aries) is consistent throughout both books, with Bree literally being cut/burnt several times.

What Bree needs: to be in a space where she doesn't have to be hypervigilant. To be in a space where she isn't subconsciously anticipating that she'll have to defend herself from emotional or physical harm. To be in a space and be around people who make her feel safe.

2. SEL - Capricorn Moon ♑ 🌕

Capricorn Moon reminds me of Harlow's Monkey Mother Experiment 😭

* Saturn's baby. He's literally separated from his mother (Moon) to be raised by an institution (Saturn, ruling Capricorn, represents constructs, boundaries, institutions).

* Struggles with feelings of unworthiness/abandonment/neglect/self-loathing, so he's overly self-reliant, cold, and mean as a coping mechanism.

* Desperate for connection but doesn't know how to forge it (like wanting to be friends with Nick) because connection for the sake of it was not valued by the institution that "raised" him. Duty was valued instead.

* At best: Measured, calculating. Able to remove his emotions long enough to address the matter at hand. Realistic to an irritating, almost depressing degree, but it's often necessary.

What Sel needs: Reparenting (in therapy, or reparenting himself). He needs cuddles and head scratches and forehead kisses. He needs affection for its own sake. He needs someone to tell him they care, that they accept him as he is.

3. NICK - Scorpio Moon ♏ 🌕

*Nick is very complex. On the surface he seems like a "golden retriever," but when you dig deeper there's deeper, darker, more secretive layers, which is a very Scorpio Moon trait. He processes anger internally, but if not given room it can build up until he goes nuclear. He tends to alienate himself when he wants to process his feelings.

* At best, he's emotionally articulate, strategic, deadly at close range (much like a scorpion) and passionate.

* Scorpio is a fixed water sign, so Scorpio Moon really points to the making and breaking of emotional boundaries. For Nick, he experiences the violation of his physical and emotional boundaries early and continually - abusive training, invasive oaths, being forced into a role he never asked for. Another example is him feeling Sel's bloodlust whether he likes it or not (this is why that Max killing scene is so pivotal - it's Nick's own bloodlust, not a transmission from Sel). He's also forcibly separated from his mother in such a way that her emotional connection to Nick is broken... because he doesn't exist to her 😭.

What Nick needs: He needs space, quite simply (something he does express in the memory walk with Bree and Sel). He needs a safe emotional space to express/process his darker emotional urges without judgement. He needs room to rebuild those boundaries that were violated so early in his life.

COMPATIBILITY

Bree + Nick

A Scorpio Moon Nick would mean his Moon and Bree's Sun are in the same sign. Having the same Moon as Bree's Sun would explain the easygoing, comfortable call-response they have because Moon-Sun conjunctions in synastry can create instant feelings of connection. They would share a profound understanding of each other that forms a solid foundation for their relationship. Both having Mars-ruled Moons, they both instinctively understand the language of "fight," which is fitting for their positions as the descendants of Arthur and Lancelot.

Bree + Sel

Capricorn and Aries are square (at right angles) to each other. These two get under each other's skin, with Sel feeling like Bree imposes on him somehow and Bree feeling like Sel tries to block or restrict her from expressing her 'fight.' Would explain why they snipe at each other, but ALSO shows potential for some red hot sexual tension. On the bright side, Sel's Gemini Sun would grant him some sympathy towards Bree's 'need for speed' Aries Moon, while Bree's Scorpio Sun provides some much needed emotional expression for Sel's cold, dry Capricorn Moon.

Nick + Sel

Capricorn Moon and Scorpio Moon actually form a pleasant connection (sextile - easygoing, free-flowing). Let's assume a scenario where there's no more Oaths - Sel and Nick have the potential for a healthy emotional connection, provided Sel doesn't try to suffocate Nick's need to express his feelings and Nick understands that 'realism' is one of Sel's love languages. They would both need to let their guard down and give permission to the other to express themselves without fear of judgement.

I'll stop there because I could discuss this all day. 😊

[rutadales]

Stages?

👀

STAGES IS MY BABYYYYY i love writing about grief and loss of self, and how to cope with that. C!Dream is perfect for that type of analysis. It started bc I really wanted a way to explore dream and bads relationship and their similarities. They both lost their families and both believe that what happened to them was mostly self inflicted. there's a lot to explore there. And of course I love rivals duo and also wanted to write a scenario where techno isn't able to repay the favor. And, ya know, healing and growing together is such a good trope.

I already have the first chapter posted on my AO3 but I've written so much for this fic but still never managed enough to finish another full chapter ughhughhuh. I've also posted some of this fic here but there are so many nuggets I've written that I'd love to share (sorry all my excerpts are so long 😭😭)

"I can barely walk, I can't fight-! I'm helpless. I'm at everyone's mercy and I hate it." His hands are shaking, the pencil moving like a record needle— up and down and up and down— in his weak grasp. Dream wants to steady it but can't, hasn't been able since Quackity's first visit, and he hates that too. His body isn't his anymore. It's a malfunctioning tool, but there's no fixing it. No quick repair. There's no fixing him.

Nothing can cure him, not potions, not time, not XD. He's broken, plain and simple. And all that's left is crossed wires.

A hand lays over his own and Dream looks up into Techno's eyes. His hand still tremors underneath the warm grasp, but it hurts less, now.

"You're not helpless, Dream. You're not. You're just changed, and I know that hurts. And I know I can't fix that but let me make it a little easier for you." His voice chokes on the last syllable, the emotion making it crack.

Sweat pools on the back of Dream's neck as he quickly adverts his eyes. A million thoughts run through his head, seeing Techno's care so plainly on display. He can't bring himself to pull away though.

"I don't get it." It's an admission he wouldn't make normally, but Dream wants to understand at least this about Techno, if nothing else. "You've more than repaid the favor, you don't owe me anything anymore."

"Yes, I do." Techno says, so quietly Dream is half convinced he didn't hear it at all, before Techno continues as if he hadn't said anything to begin with. "When are we just going to admit we're friends, Dream? We can be that to each other, you know."

Now, he does pull away, just barely. Their hands touch still, if only slightly, and the contact burns.

"Fine," Techno speaks, not with anger or frustration. "I'm doing it because I'm selfish. I like having you around, and keeping you healthy makes that easier. Not to mention you're skinny enough to be one of Phil's scarecrows. We can hang you out in the fields and you'd scare all the crows off, nice and easy. That's why I'm doing this, for the good of my crops."

Dream furiously ignores Techno's smug smile when that draws a laugh out of him, but it doesn't get rid of the pit in his stomach. Dream knows what happens to his friends.

He doesn't want that for Techno.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Aw so amazing Ch.8 is already up! Thank you again for all your writing 🙌

Real quick before I read the latest, wanted to share my thoughts on Tilrey Ch.7 too 🤗

He is so tender! 🥹

His thoughts are spinning everywhere, even though he's calm. Whispering to Stefan, "It's okay, they're afraid to hurt you now." Empathizing with the bad memories he must have looking at their faces. Thinking of Ceill and how he must do this to protect him.

Hating himself for having been sad when upstarts don't see & treat him as a person, and hating himself for having been happy when they do -- like Davita is doimg now. The contrast between their rare good treatment of him vs. how his fundamental goodness is so natural to him: while they treat him terribly & only rarely care about him, he's the kind of person who could never leave Davita to die in that tunnel. The discomfort for him of that contrast.

I think when we think about & empathize a lot when someone else's feelings, a lot of us is trying to be kind to ourselves too - when it's too hard to be compassionate to ourselves, it's easier when we can see who we are/were through someone else.

Tilrey, who needs to believe they can't hurt him now. Tilrey, who's always felt so uncomfortable wity the memories their faces give him. Tilrey, who deserved to have been protected. Tilrey, who wonders if he's a fool for not being evil like them (spending his life worrying he is) -- while what's driving his courage is exactly that: that this world needs this evil removed and prevented from ever returning.

Tilrey!!!! 😭

I love what you say about how empathy is also a way of being compassionate to ourselves. I need to remember that thought! ❤️

And it’s so true for Tilrey. It’s easier for him to look at Stefan or Janta and say, “They deserved so much better” than it is for him to feel that way about himself. He’s still struggling with guilt and self-hatred. But his empathy is one of his strengths, I think, and it will help him in this final test.

It certainly confuses Davita—once she knows he’s a traitor, she can’t wrap her head around the fact that he didn’t leave her to die in the tunnel. But that’s just who he is.

[milkstoner]

expand pretty please 🙏

OKAY so this is messy but who cares atp I’m not penning the next lotr. We’re in a loud ass bar and I’m explaining my boy Silver’s sexual exploits while sipping on a mojito for whoever cares to listen.

methinks we’re in dubcon territory. Silver is in his own little guest room at the Zigvolts. Somebody climbs into the bed—his scent, his weight are familiar, Silver is too sleepy to open his eyes, he thinks it’s Sebek. That’s okay, Sebek used to want cuddles when they were kids, he won’t judge him for it now. Except there’s a roughness in those arms that just isn’t like Sebek. So he jolts awake and looks up—he’s too startled to ask wtf is going on 😭 peepaw goes hush… places his finger on Silver’s lips… he complies because he really is too sleepy😭😭 that narcolepsy and his tendency to self destruct are a terrible combo. Makes it easier for him to get turned on… you know, fluffy blankets, thick pillows… his head on a warm chest… big hands caressing his back, scratching his scalp just right. He could fall asleep right then and there but Baal’s voice in his ear is just as loud as Sebek’s 😭😭😭 nature’s caffeine. He calls Silver a pretty little thing. He’s gonna make him feel so good… just trust him. It’s not just his voice that makes Silver think of Sebek. The whole man himself is one bigger older Sebek. It’s hot.🫡 in these circumstances, Silver dipping into his secret pervert self and silently leaning into that man’s arms is so good.

So Silver is pretty much half asleep😭 but he’s hard and warm and peepaw Zigvolt peels off his layers… obv taking note of the lack of underwear (CROWD CHEERS). When all is said and done and Silver is lubed up and ready, Baal kisses him and gets to work.

Silver is being split open i won’t lie. That man is 11 inches just like Sebe🫡 packing. Silver is tense but oh my god he’s so tight and amazing… there’s an obligatory “Is this your first?” to which Silver responds negatively… he adds it was with Sebek lol. Okay Sebe, peepaw sees you! Good taste! And he scored! Only 16 and he already put a human in his place, it’s amazing how fast they grow up. He’s gonna have to give him the congratulatory paternal head pat tomorrow.

Anyway, Silver is so sweet. Wraps his arms around him, pulls him closer, lets him kiss his neck… Baal is far more experienced than Sebek and it shows. He thinks to kiss his ear and whisper sweet nothings, which gives Sil goosebumps. He can’t help moaning, so Baal has to put a hand over his mouth. He considers eventually doing this again not in a house full of people… because those noises were just too cute. Peepaw is much more gentle at night than during the day. He rarely acknowledges Silver if not to dismiss him for being a human, which totally gives Sebek tsuntsun. Silver knows the both of them don’t mean it… although here the gentleness is a mix of being careful with a human who breaks easily and… taking a human as a sex toy… (you know Baal and Lilia claimed a lot of those during the war).

Once the missionary round is over we’re getting serious. Silver gets flipped on his stomach, his head firmly kept in place… in the pillows so his screams are muffled. He’ll need it😭 because a switch flipped and Baal is taking him so rough now!!! Also unlike Sebek, who’s all around unsure grhfdgjg. Silver squeaks and squirms and it’s too much for him but he loves it. It takes Baal ALL OF HIS WILLPOWER not to slap silver’s ass bc THAT SHITS NOISY… again… he needs to find a way to see the boy in private.

There’s no way he’s going to fuck Silver once and then that’s it. He needs to own him. You know how it is. He wants Silver to be available to him whenever he needs… Silver, well, he doesn’t really give consent, but his body is honest about being attracted to Baal. He’s a total pillow princess🫡 unlike with Sebek, who he really really loves, and with whom he has age in common—he’ll give enthusiastic consent to Sebek, make the first move… with grandpa it’s, oh he’s holding my waist, I like it, but I don’t know what to do, so I’ll let him lead. Not that what he wants matters here, because Baal doesn’t ask and doesn’t care lbr.

Is this the part where I talk about how hairy grandpa is. YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING… well. Nothing to be said except mr zigvolt doesn’t shave 🫡 chest? Hairy. Happy? Trail. Yum. (To compare once more, Sebe shaves his chest 😭😭😭😭😭WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR BEAUTIFUL KINGS!)

Needless to say that something shifts. When Silver and peepaw visit the Zigvolts, there’s some sweet little tension between them. You know how I mentioned that papa zigvolt isn’t allowed to touch the grill? Like the grill is SACRED. Fae or human, the art of grilling gets passed down from generation to generation. This is the only culture fathers have and it transcends species. Papa isn’t worthy of wielding the tongs yet. Well one day peepaw is like, come here Silver, I’ll teach you how to grill. 😭😭😭 catches EVERYBODY off guard, especially the siblings bc peepaw promised the oldest brother he’d teach him. The gag is Silver has been bbqing his own food since he was like, four. Anyway… little sparring sessions in the backyard… they stand dangerously close… watch out Sebek. Grandpa is about to steal your boyfriend🍾

It’s almost 8 am idk how I went on a paragraph long tangent about the relationship between man and his bbq but here we go. What I’m trying to say is Baal has a fondness for Silver and it definitely shows. To everybody else, that came out of literal nowhere. But he got himself a young human boy to fuck!!!

[purpleyoonn]

Hello Mari, how are you? I hope you are doing wonderfully well(;

Anyway, let me ask you a few questions! First of all, out of all the fanfics you've written so far, is there one that you consider your favorite? Are there fanfics that are more difficult to write and others that are relatively easier? Or are they all the same difficulty level? Ever thought about writing a physical book? (In my opinion, you have a lot of potential! I would definitely be one of the first in line at the bookstore, lol!).

And finally, how does your creativity work? Do you think about your stories very often? Or are there specific times for your creativity to kick in?

(OBS: Sorry for the list of questions! Don't feel pressured to answer, and forgive me if my English is bad! I'm still learning🙃).

A big hug for you dear, take care(:

Hello!! I am doing okay! Just normal life stress seeing as my car is now taking a turn for the less good and I might need to start looking around for another one😭

Out of all of my fics, I think baby might be my favorite one. I live the vibe of it and the way that it is going. I have so many ideas for it including different idol interactions and btsxmc interactions. I feel like the love in the bond is so pure that sometimes instincts overwrite normal thoughts or expectations.

I think there are definitely some fics that are more difficult to write than others. The most difficult one for me (because of the headspace I was in) is definitely a hand to hold. I truly think i might discontinue it. Petrichor is also a hard one to write for mainly because I have so much written for it in terms of world building. Im also trying not to take away from the mcs personality and her tenacity as she becomes an omega. I don’t want her to be a stereotypical omega in that right. I want her to have the same fire in her as when the met the boys and that’s kind of harder to maintain than I thought. Also, I find I like steering away from smut, and there is definitely going to be smut or at least mating between namjoon and mc within petrichor. I’ve been building up to it for 17 chs now and I don’t want to take away that build up from you guys.

Baby and tlblw are definitely some of the easier fics for me to write because I am more or less writing about my own experiences with my disabilities and just making them more or less something easier to understand and read about when it comes to an mc. Plus, people relate a lot to those mcs which helps a lot. They are more like self inserts than reader fics but I still write them as a reader fic.

I have actually thought about writing novels before. Last year I started world building for one, but quickly lost interest in it ngl. I think I could like rework some of my fics and publish them but mainly enchanted, dot, and petrichor. I have so many TikTok’s saved about publishing and self publishing. I wanted to be an editor/writer in a publishing house in high school but unfortunately listened to family and pursued teaching instead.

As for my creativity, I think about ideas and world building all the time. Even at work I’m constantly in my head, coming up with different stories or working on ones I’ve already thought up. I do have specific times though, where I absolutely need to write something down and my mind won’t let me do anything else until I do. I am very thankful for my notes app when this happens😂

pls don’t apologize and thank you for the big hug🥰🥰❤️❤️🥹🥹🥹

[chocomd]

ATLA rewatch thoughts, Book 2 (ep 15)

15) The Tales of Ba Sing Se

Toph and Katara: This is a cute story about Toph and Katara bonding over a girls’ day out (and dunking some mean girls in the canal lol). It’s also a story about Toph’s insecurities. As Katara says near the end, Toph is strong, confident, and self-assured. But even though Toph says she doesn’t need anyone’s approval, what people think about her still matters to her. Katara sees this and gives her friend the encouragement and friendship in just the way she needs.

Iroh: When Iroh is buying a basket in preparation to honor Lu Ten’s memory: “No, it's not a romantic picnic, but it is a special occasion.” MY HEART 😭 He spends his part of this episode sharing his wisdom and being kind to the strangers around him. At first, it seems like we’re getting a closer look at the reformed soul that the FN general and FL’s brother has become. But his story ends with him honoring his dead son. This isn’t a story about the wise and caring person that Iroh has become - what we are seeing is his redemption in action. The first thing he says to Lu Ten’s portrait is “If only I could have helped you.” And then he sings Leaves From the Vine, which sounds like a song about young men who grow up and leave home to fight, and about the same young men who fall in battle and “return” home. I think Iroh means more than “I wish I could have kept you from dying in battle.” His perspective on life and the war have changed dramatically in the years since he lost Lu Ten, but they also continue to change during the course of ATLA. I think that Iroh helps the people around him to help make the world a better place because that is his biggest regret about himself and Lu Ten - that he walked the path of violence and bloodshed and destruction and raised Lu Ten to do the same, and they both paid the price, with Lu Ten losing his life and Iroh losing his throne and his son. Iroh is living out his redemption as well by trying to be the father to Zuko that he couldn’t be to Lu Ten.

Aang: I love how Aang the Air Nomad, who flies free as the wind, wants to give the zoo animals a place where they won’t be cooped up in cages anymore. Also: “Don't worry, I'm great with animals” and “This was so much easier in my head.” 🤣  I loved the airbending and earthbending too and just all the chaos in general 😂

Sokka: Sokka barging in on a ladies’ haiku club meeting and getting into a 1v1 with the teacher! ‘Nuff said. So many burnnnnns lmao

Zuko: Ahhh, Zuko’s infamous date with Jin. HE’S SUCH AN AWKWARD DWEEB LMAO 🥲 And damn, Jin sure put up with a lot and still was into him (how?). “You have ... quite an appetite for a girl.” rip 💀 But at the end, Zuko actually does something genuinely sweet - he lights the lamps at the Firelight Fountain. And while he’s firebending, Sun Warrior music is playing. This is one of the few times (only time?) in ATLA that Zuko firebends to bring joy and life and not destruction. And then of course Jin kisses him (and he kisses back) and he says “It’s complicated. I have to go.” Oops, dramatic Zuko is back 💀

Momo: Momo misses Appa so much that he dreams about him and sees him everywhere 😭 Also the way he made friends with the scary panther cat things 🥺 Also HOW are there scary panther cat things roaming the streets of a city???? I guess that’s what the animal catcher is for 💀 AND THE WAY THE EPISODE ENDS WITH MOMO CURLING UP IN APPA’S PAWPRINT 😭👀👀👀

[missnxthingg]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Single Mom!Reader (Best friends to lovers) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando and Y/N have always been the best of friends, always there for each other through thick and thin. After years of sharing the paddock and building their own silly little family, both of them just can't hold their feelings inside anymore, even though they're are both afraid it would ruin their friendship. So who'll take the first step? 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 6.1 K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - A few swearing and self depreciating behaviour, but this is a very very cute chapter as well! 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - We're almost done with the series 😭 only two more chapters to go. But I got so attached to it, I'm not ready to say goodbye

smau version | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist

“Shh, keep your voice down”, Y/N said to Lando as they were about to open the door to her house. It was late night at London, and she was pretty sure Olivia was already put to bed by her mother, as usually. But she was surprised when they entered the house, finding her daughter almost tripping on her feet and sliding on the wooden floors with her socks, rushing to the front door.

“Uncle Lando!”, she shouted, jumping into his arms. “You won!”, she cheered, making him smile with how excited she was to see him. Lando buried his face in her hair, taking in all the glory of having Olivia so proud of him.

“I won! Did you see that I dedicated my win to you?”

“Yes, I did”, she smiled, resting her tiny hands on each of his cheeks and squishing them. Lando had the biggest and most genuine smile plastered on his face, one that he has reserved only for Ollie.

Y/N’s mother appeared right behind them with a tired smile. Apparently, the little one has been giving her grandmother a hard time since Lando crossed the finish line in Miami. By now, it’s been more than 24 hours since it happened, and Ollie was still all hyped about the win. 

“She has been non-stop since yesterday. It was hard to put her to sleep last night, and today hasn’t been much easier”, her grandmother said, approaching the trio and pressing a kiss on top of her daughter’s head. “But it was cute to see her this excited about something. She really is your biggest fan, Lando”.

“Oh, I know it”, he assured. “She’s my lucky charm too”, he brushed the tip of their noses together, feeling happy to be reunited with his little girl.

“No kisses for mummy?”, Y/N complained, and Lando helped Ollie get closer to her mother. The little girl pressed a kiss to her mum’s cheek, but wasn’t really interest on giving me much attention. Her tiny arms quickly wrapped around Lando’s neck as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Fine, he’s the star of the moment, anyway”.

“I’ll take care of her. Try tiring her down”, he said. “Thank you so much for taking care of her, Mrs L/N”.

“Anytime, grand prix champion”, she smiled at Lando, who also earned a big kiss from her as well, making him blush with the gesture. Getting praise for Y/N’s mother, the woman who raised the love of his life, was better than any trophy. “And congratulations on your win. Hope you partied a lot yesterday”.

“We even missed our flight”, Lando laughed, looking back at Y/N, who tried her best to hide the embarrassment she was feeling at the moment. They only got to London so late because, in the heat of the moment, they forgot to set their alarms, waking up only at 1pm, missing not only their flight, but also the hotel’s breakfast and lunch.

“Sorry”, she scrunched her nose at her mother, who laughed at her reaction, shrugging the excuses off, knowing her daughter needed to live a little from time to time. Lando quickly entered the living room, ready to try tiring Olivia down in order for them to go to bed. Y/N’s mother read her daughter's expression and simply knew something had changed. It was the way they were glowing that gave it away.

“Did you finally confess your feelings for him?”, she whispered, being very direct about her question. Y/N’s eyes widened, and her entire face felt like it was on fire. 

“Mum! Oh my God, shut up”, Y/N said, but her mother smiled maliciously, already knowing what that reaction meant.

“Just so you know, I think Lando’s perfect for you. And if something did happen between you, well... you have my full support”.

Y/N’s mother has known for a long time that her daughter is in love with her best friend. And Lando was such a good man for both of her girls. If there was someone she trusted to take care of them, it was him. So, secretly, she has been praying for them to finally admit their feelings for once.

“I’ll catch you up with everything another time. I still have things to figure out”, Y/N assured. “Thank you so much for taking care of Ollie once again. I love you”.

“Love you too, darling. I’ll see you before you head to Italy next week”.

Once they were left alone, Y/N finally entered her house properly, finding Lando sitting in the darkness of her living room, being only lit up by the television light. Olivia was sitting on his lap, her head peacefully resting over his chest as they whispered and talked with each other. He was running his hand through her hair as she told him every detail of her weekend. Then, Y/N noticed what her daughter was wearing: her butterfly pyjama trousers and her McLaren shirt with a big NORRIS 4 printed on the back. What a sight it was to admire.

She leaned against the frame of the living room’s door, silently observing the scene unfold in front of her, trying to go unnoticed by her daughter. Olivia slowly grew tired under Lando’s touch and closed her eyes, falling into deep sleep in the safeness of his hold. Once she was finally convinced the little girl had fallen asleep, Y/N took a seat next to her best friend and cuddle onto his arm too. He pressed a kiss on the crown of her head and relaxed under her touch, feeling finally complete to be reunited with both of his favourite girls.

“She loves you so much”, Y/N also caressed her daughter's hair and admired her tiny carbon copy sleep so peacefully. “She didn’t even care about me, only her favourite uncle and his win”.

“Jealous?”, he joked, making Y/N giggle.

“A little. But I understand her. It’s hard not to love you”, Y/N flirted, making his smile wider. 

“I love you too”, he pressed a single and quick kiss to her lips, before turning his attention back to Olivia. She shifted on his lap, but snored in her sleep, too deep in dreamland to wake up.

“I don’t want to put her to bed”, Lando confessed. “I want to stay with her all night. I missed her so much”.

“She can sleep with us tonight”, Y/N assured, making him smile with the suggestion. He thought back to their night in Australia, when he got to end the day with both of his girls at the same time, and how happy that made him. Getting to experience this again, specially after last night, just hits different.

“Okay, let’s go then. I know we’re both tired from the flight”.

Ollie peacefully slept in her mother’s bed as Lando and Y/N took a quick shower after the flight, wanting to get to bed freshly after washing the tiredness away. They showered together, without any second intention behind it, just to save some time. And it felt so natural and intimate for them, like they had been doing it for years. It’s crazy how things simply work when they are together.

Quickly, they were back into bed, cuddled together with Ollie in the middle. Lando kept running his hands through his goddaughter’s hair, finding it so cute to see how serene she looks when she’s sleeping.  

“The way you look at her…”, Y/N commented, with the biggest smile on her face.

“She’s everything to me”, Lando assured, his eyes never leaving Olivia. “I remember the first time I ever held her in the arms, and she sighed a little in her sleep, reacting to my touch. I felt so happy to have her there with me, after so many months anticipating her arrival. That moment, I vowed that I would do everything in my power to protect and make her happy until the day that I die”.

“You make her the happiest”, Y/N said. “You’re the closest thing to a dad she has ever had in her life. And I’m glad that you are. Because having someone like you, loving her so much like this and making sure she’s happy, protect, safe… She deserves it all and more”.

“I never thought it was fair that Olivia’s father was never even interested in meeting her, because she's the best little girl in the world. And he doesn’t know what he’s missing. She’s the most funny and intelligent kid to ever be born. The entire joy and brightness in the world. If I were him, I would regret missing out on all of this”.

“I think she’s better off without him as well”.

“I think so too, don't get me wrong”, he justified. “It's just… I wanted her to have a happy, complete family, as I do. I vowed to do anything for her because she deserves a mum and dad that loves her with her whole heart. Such a pure and loving kid doesn’t deserve to feel like something is missing”.

“You never made her feel that way”, Y/N reassured Lando, now with her eyes brimming with tears. “She feels so loved and full because of you”.

“No, baby, it’s all because of you”, he smiled, brushing his thumb on Y/N’s cheek. “You did the best job as a mum. I was just here to help out and give her all the love she can get. But you… well, you were the one to raise Ollie, to turn her into the most amazing little girl in the world. I am so proud of you”.

“You’re going to make me cry”, Y/N confessed, already wiping tears from her eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m crying too”, he giggled, his eyes brimming with tears after the words he said. “I love you both, so much. You save me every day”.

“We love you too, Lando”.

Not long after that, he fell into deep sleep, which Y/N noticed because he started with his signature snoring a few minutes later. But she remained wide awake through the whole night, finally having time to process everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. Now looking at Lando, sleeping with his arms draped around Olivia and touching the skin of her arm, she thought life couldn’t get more perfect than that.

Last night in Miami had been everything she wished for. And she was glad it continued the next morning, when they were properly sober, but Lando was still willingly kissing her and showering her with all the love he could give. But what did that mean for them? Were they a couple from now on? 

Y/N fell asleep without an answer. And she didn’t really have an answer for weeks after that, because they didn’t talk about it ever again. Lando still kissed her behind closed doors, and she was even considering maybe asking McLaren to stop booking her a hotel room, because she basically ended up sleeping with him anyway. He continued saying he loved her every moment he could and was now spending more time in her place than his own after the races.

To be fair, she didn’t blame him for the lack of communication between them. After Miami, McLaren skyrocketed into the championship, getting closer and closer to properly fighting Red Bull for the win; yet, Lando still couldn’t take another win. He almost did in Imola, but in Monaco he didn’t even get to step on the podium. Then he got stuck in P2 in Canada and lost his pole position to Verstappen in Spain. The long strike of ‘almosts’ were consuming Lando, and Y/N didn’t want to put their relationship into discussion to make him more stressed. 

The triple header was especially hard for Lando, because all the tension from the season, combined with all the travels, intense routines and different time zones, were making him sick. Their first night in Barcelona, she spent almost completely awake by his coughing through the night. On Sunday, after he lost his pole position to Max Verstappen on the first corner, he started burning in fever, making her change her flight from London to Monaco, where she could take proper care of him before Austria.

It didn’t help at all that he did not finish the race in the Red Bull Ring after another collision with Max. Lando blamed himself too much when things go wrong, and it was taking a toll on him. And that night, Y/N saw something that only happens on very rare occasions, behind closed doors: him crying.

“Oh, baby, don’t be so hard on yourself”, Y/N held his face between her hands and whipped off the tears that were streaming from his eyes. He sobbed a little, feeling a little better to have her there with him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I just want you”, he sobbed, pulling her for a hug. Lando buried his face on her belly and cried under her touch, because he felt protected. With Y/N, he could be vulnerable.

“It could be good for you to talk about it”, she tried, running her hands through his curls. “You can just talk, and I won't reply, if you want”.

“Yeah, that would be cool”, he said. “I don't want you trying to come with excuses of why I'm not a loser”.

“Oh, my love”, she lowered herself to his eye level and cleaned his tears with her thumbs. “Don’t say that”.

“Y/N…”, he started, reminding her of the agreement they made a few seconds ago. She nodded in agreement, pressing a kiss on his cheek, encouraging him to talk.

“I fucking suck”, he complained. “I know McLaren is doing great and that I'm not meeting everyone’s expectations right now. I wasted my pole in Spain and today, I didn't finish the fucking race. And I'm so tired, of all the travelling and being away from home. I miss my mum and dad. I miss my siblings. I miss Olivia more than anything in the world. I just want to go home”.

“We'll be home tomorrow”, she assured him. “And Ollie will be waiting for you so we can go golfing, and your parents are coming to London to spend time with us. Your family will always get your back”.

“I know”, he smiled weakly. “I love you so much. And thank you for just listening. I'm sick and tired of people wanting to have a say in my life”.

“You just needed to vent”, she sat next to him and pulled him into a side hug. “And you know that I'm always here to listen, because I love you more”.

“I think that's impossible, beautiful”, he cracked a genuine giggle, pulling her for a kiss, wanting nothing more than to just feel her for a second. 

“Let's go get things ready to go home”, she tugged his shirt, pulling him out of their bed. “Oscar and the team are waiting for us to fly home”.

Lando wished he was absolutely happy to be back home. But he was exhausted, and the entire week he spent in London, he stayed buried inside home, needing this time to recharge his energies and move onto the next race. His entire family came visiting after Y/N asked them to come in hopes to make him feel better.

It did help. Adam came almost every day for lunch and kept Lando distracted most of the time. But Olivia always kept him occupied, being his biggest fan and dragging him around the house to play with her. Cisca often came as well, and even prepared a special dinner to cheer him up, thinking maybe her son would find comfort in her food.

But no one helped him as much as Olivia did. After school in the morning, she’d spend the entire afternoon at home now that she had someone to look after her. So while Y/N was away working at the MTC, Lando would stay at home having fun with her goddaughter. But even the moments with his favourite little girl weren’t doing much to light up the mood.

One night that week, Y/N was cooking them dinner while Ollie was watching a movie in the living room. Lando arrived frustrated after a quick meeting with the team, shedding some shy tears when he came inside the house. When he found the little girl in the living room, he simply curled into Ollie’s hold and didn’t let go off her for the rest of the night.

She most definitely noticed that her uncle wasn’t his happy and bubbly self. So Olivia found her simple way to make him feel a little better by rolling her tiny fingers through his curls. Lando had been resting his head over her lap and relaxed her touch.

“Why are you so sad, uncle Lan?”, Ollie asked, making him look up at her through his lashes. Lando got a hold on one of her hands and held it gently, rubbing circles on its back. “Is it because of the crash?”

“Yeah”, he admitted, not wanting to explain how bigger this whole thing was to him. It was more than the crash, but Ollie wouldn’t understand that. “But I'll be okay. Just need to be with you and mummy for a second”.

“Don't be sad. Mummy and I love you”, she lowered her head to give him a kiss and it made his heart warm, and he cracked the first big and genuine smile the whole weekend. 

“I love you too. Both of you, baby girl”, he assured, having a quick glance at Y/N, that was under his view on the kitchen. Everything would be okay, as long as they had his girls.

Silverstone came quickly after those few days home. Even though he always loved his home race, along with the energy of the fans, it was stamped on his face how much he needed a break. All Lando could think about was summer break and how much he wanted to make this one special.

Even though he was having probably one of the worst weekends of his life, all he could think about was Y/N. The past few months next to her have been more than amazing, beyond his biggest wishes. She was the only constant in his life lately, and Lando wanted for it to be that way until his last breath. It’s been too long since they got together, and he still didn’t make things official.

Lando didn’t want to make their turning point as a couple something as simple and ordinary as a quick talk during the day. He wanted to make it special, and he has been planning on a way to make it happen for a long time. All Y/N had to do is agree.

“What do you think about spending some time in Spain during the break?”, he asked Y/N, as they were getting ready for the press conference in Silverstone. She was taking care of his curls, as usual, in his driver's room, and arched her eyebrows at his suggestion. “You, me and Olivia. A family holiday”.

“It would be nice”, Y/N smiled. “But remember, my break isn't as long as yours. I still have work to do”.

“But you do have a week off, and we can enjoy that”, he suggested. “I feel like we could all use some recharging somewhere nice and hot. I was thinking Mallorca”.

“Carlos used to say it was a nice summer destination”, she said, running her hands through his curls. “Then you'll go back to Monaco?”

“I was thinking about staying here. Not in your house, if you don't want to, but in England”.

“If you don't stay in my house, I'll be offended”, she joked, making him giggle.

“Then I'll stay right here with you”, he bumped her nose with his finger  and smiled. “Mallorca then. I'll book us a hotel”.

“Perfect”.

Lando had a lot of summer breaks around the world, partying in the best clubs in Europe and having the time of his life with his friends and girls. But nothing ever beat how good it felt to have a time off with his family, watching Ollie playing on the sand while getting tanned next to Y/N on a calm beach, away from mayhem and any cameras that would ruin their privacy.

“Can you put sunscreen on my back?”, Y/N pulled Lando out of his thoughts, extending him the tube of sunscreen. He promptly nodded and stood up, ready to help her.

He gently applied the product on her skin, feeling its warmth on his hands, making him smile. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, making him blush under her glance.

“I love you. Have I told you that today?”

“No, not today”, he said, and she leaned to give him a quick peck. “I love you too”.

“Your face is getting red. Let me put some sunscreen on your face”.

Y/N dabbed a few dots of sunscreen on Lando's face and before she could spread it, Olivia rushed to them and jumped over his lap.

“Come play with me, uncle Lan”.

“Let mommy just put some sunscreen on my face, baby”, he said.

“Do you want to do it, love?”, Y/N asked, and Ollie nodded excitedly, using her little fingers to carefully spread the dots on his face. “Good job, Ollie”.

“My girls, always taking such good care of me”, Lando cheered. “I love you so much”.

“I love you, uncle Lan”, Olivia hugged him and pressed lots of kisses on his cheek. “Come play with me”.

“Let's go, my love”.

Lando held Olivia's tiny hand and they walked together towards the shore, where she was building her sandcastle. Y/N stayed behind and took some pictures of them playing together. He helped his goddaughter put sand inside the beach bucket and then decorate it with more sand. Ollie listened carefully to his tips and followed his steps to work together as they giggled with their job. Y/N joined them shortly after, taking some pictures from up close, just to have that moment registered forever.

“Do you like it, momma?”, Olivia asked, pointing to their creation.

“Very much, baby. You did a good job”, Y/N praised, pressing herself on Lando's side and earning a long kiss on her temple. “Can I join you?”

“Always”, Lando said, giving her a shovel to join their work.

Lando and Y/N tired Olivia down to the point where she fell asleep in the longue chair, covered with a towel, as the sun setted on the ocean. The couple sat a little bit further, with their feet dipped inside the water, as they watched the day ending together. She rested her head on his shoulder and he pressed kisses on top of her head, feeling a peace he hasn't felt in a really long time.

"This is the most perfect summer break ever", he admitted. "I don't know why we had never done it before”.

"No, but we did. Remember when we took Ollie to Brighton with your brother?”

"Yeah, but it wasn't a proper vacation, to a nice beach and a nice hotel”, he said. "I'm just glad to be here with you today. It means the world to me”.

"We're glad to be here too. Ollie is having the best time” she kissed his cheek, making him open the biggest smile. "Don't you miss partying in clubs, golfing with your friends and everything?”

"I miss golfing, but not so much partying", he said. "I would rather be here with my family than with people who couldn't care less about me".

Lando took advantage of their alone time, with no kids and no prying eyes, to kiss her. He gently held her chen and pulled her closer, locking their lips together and savouring the softness in her touch in the calmness of the beach. 

"You know, I wow, thinking about the moment we met in the past few days", Lando started, breaking their kiss. “You looked just as lost as me at the MTC, scared to be stepping into unknown waters, just like me. But you cracked a laugh when I made you a joke".

"It made me relax. I was so tense on my first week in McLaren”, she remembered.

"It was so easy for us to become friends. I don't even remember a day I went on without talking to you”, he laughed. "I adored you so much that I never wanted to be away from you. Not for a second at least”.

"Well, the first time I was on track was because you begged Zak to bring me along", she giggled. "Even though I was just the social media kid”.

"I wanted you there for me in Silverstone, because it was pointless to be with my entire family, but not be with my favourite person in the world”. 

“I was your favourite person back then?”

“You've always been”, he smiled brightly. “I think back to all the moments we've shared in the past few years and realize that you have always been the happiest part of them all”.

“Even through rough times?”

“Especially through rough times”, Lando admitted. “You've taken care of me like no one ever did. You taught me how to feel safe, how to be vulnerable. How to feel and show love. You are the most important person in my life, Y/N. You're home, even when I'm far away from home. And you've given me a family that makes me feel so happy”.

“You know I do all of this because I love you”.

“I love you too”, he replied. “And that's why I think we're ready to take the next step, even though we were taking things slow”

Lando promptly got up from his place and went to search for his wallet inside Y/N's purse. He had sneaked a ring inside it earlier, and was now kneeling in front of her, holding the jewellery with a tiny pink rock on top of it.

“A promise ring?”, she chuckled. “I feel like a teenager again”.

“I thought that an engagement ring would be too far gone”, Lando giggled. “But this is a promise that I will love you for eternity. And this is me asking you to be my girlfriend, officially this time. With the cute coupley photos on Instagram, openly holding hands in the paddock and sharing a house, maybe”.

Y/N was speechless with his words, and Lando started to worry when she didn't say anything. He could see the panic on her face.

“You don't want to be my girlfriend?”, he frowned.

“Of course I do, Lando. I want to be your girlfriend more than anything in the world”, she delicately held his face between her hands and sighed. “It's just… I've been thinking a lot about us lately, and I realized that if we're going to give this a try, you have to know that Olivia will always be a part of the equation”.

“What do you mean by that?”

“It means that if you agree to jump into this relationship, I need you to be aware that Ollie will always come as a part of the package”, she said. “I can’t jump into a relationship, make her get attached to a boyfriend of mine, only to have him run away from our lives because he's not ready for the fatherly commitments”.

Lando nodded in understatement, and let her continue talking. “I know you love Olivia, and I have no doubt that you'll always be there for her when she needs it. But you need to understand that she will always come first. And I am not asking you to step into the father position, but I need to know that you're aware of this compromise and that you're okay with it”.

“Of course I'm okay with it. And I am ready for this responsibility”, he said, but Y/N shook her head, opening a sympathetic smile.

“Lan, I want you to think about these words, okay?”, she said. “I want you to reflect how these responsibilities will affect your life if we continue this, alright? And just know that I won't be mad if you decide that this isn't something you can do. I will always love you. But I need to take care of Olivia before anything. I can’t afford to have someone walking out of her life again”.

Lando took a deep breath, trying to assimilate the words she had just said. When it dawned on him, he felt proud of Y/N for putting Olivia before her own happiness. He would've done the same in her position.

“I promise to think about it with my whole heart”, he assured, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Because I love you and I love Ollie, and I want this to work out”.

“I know you will, and I know you do”, she leaned up and pecked his lips, smiling in the process. “You don't need to rush. Let's just continue with the way things are right now”.

And so they did, for the rest of the trip. And then again for the week they spent together in England. While Y/N worked for their return to Formula 1 from summer break, Lando took care of Olivia through her school break. He always planned ways to keep her entertained for the day, took care of her basic needs such as food, and showered her with all the love and attention he could give.

One day, when he had planned a golf day with his friends, Ollie woke up sick and burning in fever. Y/N was ready to call work to take care of her, but Lando cancelled his plans to stay home with his goddaughter.

“I promise to take good care of her while you're away”, he said, pressing a kiss on top of Y/N's head.

“But you were looking forward to this day with Max and the boys”.

“Yeah, but she's more important”, he smiled with the corner of his mouth. “I'll make sure she's okay and call you if it gets worse. Then, if you think it's necessary, we can take her to the hospital at night”.

“Alright”, she sighed. “Thank you so much. I promise to try being as quick as possible at work”.

“Don’t worry about it. She's in good hands”, Lando assured, taking a hold on her hand, making sure she was comforted enough to leave her daughter with him. She opened a small and sad smile, squeezing his hand twice before getting back to dressing up for work.

“I know she is”, she said, entering her bedroom, where Olivia was lying under the covers, concentrated on her favourite cartoon. Lando slipped into the blankets and enveloped her in a comforting hug. Ollie sighed as she rested her head on his belly and closed her fingers on his shirt, locking him closer to her.

Out the corner of her eyes, Y/N watched Lando run her hands through her daughter’s hair, who quickly fell asleep under his touch, as she changed her clothes to work. She quickly did a light makeup to leave the house and gathered everything she needed to drive to the MTC for the day. Then, once she was done, she sat next to Lando in bed, and he softly smiled at her.

“You’re making me want to still call-off work and stay cuddled with you all day”, she giggled. “But unfortunately, your image is a lotta work. So I have a few meetings to discuss your next media duties”

“Be kind to me and don’t get me in any boring media duties”, he asked. “And we’ll be here for when you get back. Now, kiss kiss, mama”.

Lando pouted, making Y/N giggle before kissing him gently on the lips. She finally relaxed under his touch, feeling like things were finally under control this morning. Of course, seeing Olivia ill always made her heart ache, but he would take good care of her.

Just the fact that he decided to sacrifice his entertainment, a day with his friends, made Y/N see him under different eyes. Maybe he really was thinking about what they talked about in Mallorca. And maybe he was already seeing the responsibilities that have talked about and was taking them.

Olivia always comes first.

“I’m taking the McLaren, by the way”, she winked at him as she exited the room, carrying her big Louis Vuitton bag, that had been a gift from her last year’s birthday from him, to which had already become a signature for busy work days. It would look perfect with his McLaren Artura, parked on the garage.

“Suit yourself. Just be careful or Zak will kill us both”, he asked, watching her walk away to get her day started.

Lando made sure to always have an eye on Olivia through the entire day. He kept her hydrated and fed as he checked on her temperature occasionally. Also, he showered her with all the love he could give, because with how little active she has been all day, it broke her heart to see her so bad. And by the time Y/N arrived home, Ollie’s fever was long gone and she was already feeling better.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her. It means a lot to me that you did”, Y/N’s lips curved into a small smile as she ran her fingers through his curls. 

“I’ll always be here for her. You know that”, he assured. “Now that she’s passed out in bed, I bought us dinner. Italian take out, your favourite. And made sure to get you some wine, because it must’ve been a stressful day”.

“Tell me about it”, Y/N laughed. “I actually save your ass from a very boring interview with a magazine. So you have a lot to thank me for”.

“My hero”, he wrapped his arms around her and guided her to the kitchen, where he served her with a good glass of wine. Then he served their food and they got to share their meal together.

“How was your day?”, she asked and he shrugged.

“It was alright. Definitely would much rather have played around the house with Ollie for the entire day. It hurts so much to see her so powerless. But I gave everything in me to make sure she was alright”, he said. 

“I don’t have words to thank you for today”.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything”, he assured. “I was thinking about what we’ve talked in Mallorca, about the commitment and having your entire life change for a kid. And I think I’m ready for this, you know? Today I understood when you said that Ollie comes first, and that she’s a priority”.

“Are you sure, Lan? You don’t actually have to decide now”.

“But I’m decided”, he prompted. “I love her so much, Y/N. And I want to be there for her every day. I know I’ve always been here somehow, but I’m ready to be her father, if you want me to. I don’t want to step too far into your lives, but I want to be in this position. I think I’ve always wanted to, actually”.

Y/N dropped her glass of wine and got up from the table, jumping into his arms and giving him the biggest kiss. Lando smiled between the kiss and deepened it just a few seconds later, pulling her into his lap and living that moment at its fullest.

“I love you so much”, she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I ever wished for me and Ollie”.

“I love you too”, he replied. “And our family is the most important thing in my life. I’ll make sure you both always feel loved and protected under any cost”.

Later that night, when both of them went to bed, Y/N knew that things would finally be different for them. They wouldn’t have to hide this relationship from anyone, and they could finally be able to live their love freely. She couldn’t wait to shout to the world that Lando Norris was the love of her life, and that they were bound to be together forever.

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 . 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭