#Rubrice

[uhohdad]

First of all bestie take all the time you need

If the fic came out next week or next month or next year it wouldn't make it any less perfect so don't overwork or stress yourself your health is so much more important to us than the fick ( mentally and physically )

Second of all, I don't wanna spoil anyone who hasn't read your last post, but know I'm giggling like crazy while playing with my hair.

Also, do you do emojie anons here? 👉👈

First of all bestie tysm ily and i appreciate everyone being so patient with me y’all are <3 💖🩷💕💞💗🩷💕

and yes of course!! just let me know which emoji lovebug i think the only one taken is the teddy bear at the moment

OH also I remembered a few more Price (+ one Konig) fun facts I forgot to share:

⚠️THE TRIBUTES and THE GAMES SPOILERS BELOW⚠️

Price made the kids go to bed early the night before the games because he didn’t want to see or hear them. 😭 It’s too hard, because is it impossible not to be even the slightest bit charmed by his tributes.

Price was the one who was knocking on Plucky’s door the night she was upset over her training score :( He knew she was feeling some type of way. It’s also why he was trying to be delicate with her about the interview.

Reader’s ‘Price Voice’ in the arena was not far off in the least bit. Price is acting like he’s watching a sports team he bet the farm on - screaming at the screens, leaning forward in his chair, grunting mumbles to himself, hollering and highfiving when his kids find their fucking sense.

Also this wasn’t canon five seconds ago but it is now - Price absolutely got so excited by one of Plucky’s escapes that he gave Ruby a sloppy, excited kiss on the mouth. She stormed out of the room bright red, fists at her sides, and heels slamming against the floor.

Price not only matched them but made sure the outfits were “soft” for their interviews on purpose. It lends to reader being underestimated and it made Konig seem less intimidating so he could lay the lover boy angle on thick.

When Konig saw Reader in that blue dress - AYO. Bro was flabbergasted when he saw her backstage. And back in the suite he sat at that dining table and just watched her pace around the room with her pretty fluttering dress like a flower-goddess-of-wrath with fucking hearts in his eyes bro. So down bad.

[spacecircusofklowns]

🤔 In cartoon form, what would the emotions of klowns from outer space look like when they see humans? 🍽

[jet-teeth]

Aaand last one of the artfight batch, Vansire & Mekintel for Sadseraph!

[lunarriviera]

Big Dumb Hot Cop & Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant: A Manifesto

So it has recently come to my attention that this, my archetypal pairing formulation, has broken containment, probably because I've been flinging these terms around like a deranged person wielding a blunt instrument. Therefore it behooves me to explain what the hell I mean by all these adjectives, and who are some classic and contemporary examples of the idiots under discussion—who are by the way extremely in love with one another whether they realize it or not. (Don't you say "bromance." Don't you dare SAY that word to me.) I will use blorbo from my shows to illustrate.

I first realized that I am in fact a Big Dumb Hot Cop whisperer thanks to Chinese police procedural 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin (2022). Right away, it's very important to note that Big Dumb Hot Cop is NOT in fact all that dumb. He's only less intelligent IN COMPARISON to his Effete Slightly Sociopathic Genius Consultant, who is, as already stated, a genius. Big Dumb Hot Cop is in fact ruthlessly good at his job. He's driven, he obsesses about cases, he can walk into a crime scene and pick up on the one thing everyone else has missed. There is no suspect he cannot intimidate upon investigation. And he's even better when he's working with (or against, depending on what stage they're at) the genius consultant. They need each other, whether they're fighting or collaborating. They can only clear cases together.

Here are, then, police captain Du Cheng and his genius consultant, sketch artist Shen Yi, eyeing each other significantly as some witness is, I think, lying his face off? Honestly I can't even remember what's happening because the important thing here is their nonverbal communication. This is crucial for this pairing. They can think circles around each other without saying a word. Love that for them.

Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant has two levels of Possibly Sociopathic. Most maddeningly of all, he has secrets. Sometimes many secrets. So at first, Big Dumb Hot Cop is going to think he's the criminal, or in some way involved in the wrongdoing. The second level is that he'll find Genius Consultant just worryingly, disturbingly good at predicting criminal behavior. And he will continue to be suspicious of him for exactly one or at most two episodes, until he's then swept off his big dumb feet by the rapidity and correctness of Effete Genius's deductions. There's nothing Big Dumb Hot Cop loves more than solving cases. Well, maybe beer. He also loves beer. Once he sees that Effete Consultant is useful, he'll do a 180º and stop complaining to his chief of police, and instead start demanding that Effete Consultant be his forever. He'll start hanging out in his office. He'll literally drag him to crime scenes by the wrist.

(And did I mention Effete Consultant must be very pretty? Did I mention that? He is lovely. Long, thin fingers to steeple while he thinks. Delicate features. Haunted dark eyes. Never sleeps. Shocking self-neglect. You may see where I am going with this.)

Another important attribute of Big Dumb Hot Cop: he's big. Or anyway strong, or a gifted fighter. Let's face it, he has to be, because Genius Consultant is going to be reckless with his own personal safety to the point of stupidity (now who's dumb, huh?). For example, consider another Chinese procedural, S.C.I. 谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (2018). Captain Bai Yutong is sort of impossibly physically talented (former fighter pilot! national sandu champion! runs over moving cars and then shoots at them, like some kind of weird urban biathlon!) and, like all good Big Dumb Hot Cops, his entire life is thrown upside down because he now has to drop everything to protect his effete consultant, criminal psychologist Dr. Zhan Yao, who's so careless with himself that in any another drama he would probably be driving Bai Yutong to drink. Thanks to the danmei on which SCI Mystery is based, however, we can safely assume Bai Yutong is taking it out on Zhan Yao in blow jobs.

Note that Bai Yutong is the cook, even though he's the gong, and that he moves in with Zhao Yan to "protect" him from...something, I can't ever remember what, and then just sort of forgets to move out again. For the length of the entire series.

I would argue that 镇魂 | Guardian (2018) is a procedural, even if it also has ghosts, a talking cat, snake lady, eerie dark energy that gets flung around like paintball splatters, and a whole bunch of other supernatural stuff that was not approved of by Big Red (it's based on a danmei of the same title by Priest, a novel which has been pulled from circulation for censorship). Further confusing matters, Zhao Yunlan isn't particularly Big or Dumb, nor is he even really a Cop, technically; but I'm claiming him for this genre not least because of his Effete (drop-dead gorgeous) Possibly Sociopathic (Chief Zhao thinks he's a suspect for a good third of the story) and Definitely Genius, Later Gangpressed into being a Consultant, chock-full of secrets Professor Shen Wei.

Once they finally team up, though, they do this genre/pairing proud. Why, there's nothing they can't solve except how to stay alive. Look at them here enjoying some fine nonverbal communication: "Oh my god, you're just like me—you too will fling yourself directly into bodily harm in order to save a clueless civilian. Okay this could be inconvenient for both of us. Also wow for a genetics professor you're really fucking built, do you lift my bro." (Yes. Yes he does lift.)

A final example: the cruelly short-lived 光渊 | Justice in the Dark (2023), which like Guardian is based on a danmei by Priest, 默读 | Silent Reading. I got baited into watching the eight (8) existing episodes by seeing a cut of Captain Luo Wenzhou taking on like forty guys with a champagne bottle, a pair of curtains, an axe handle, and a birthday cake, like some kind of cultivator. He's so big and hot, and he's so very dumb. He's also a cop, and ACAB (which is sort of the plot of Silent Reading); and Fei Du is possibly using him for his own nefarious ends (cf. possibly sociopathic and secretive). But underneath all of Fei Du's "I am the abyss, fear me, rawr!" scary posturing, like a puffed-up kitten, he's just a very pretty tender-hearted effete genius, and you can watch Luo Wenzhou melting, and practically pinpoint the exact moment when his whole heart flies out of his eyes and he decides: Yeah, okay, that's it for me. That one. The annoying little traumatized fuerdai with some kind of a death wish that I do not understand. I'll be throwing myself in front of bullets for him and/or cooking him dinner for the foreseeable future, thanks.

Priest is gonna mess with this dynamic of gong/shou caregiving and safeguarding, because that's what she does; but the fundamental beats are still there. Look at these ninnyhammers, just this second figuring out they're actually kind people who belong to each other.

Here they are confronting a suspect together. (You will notice the large butcher knife wavering in the foreground.) Luo Wenzhou, highly trained, nonetheless cannot de-escalate the situation. It takes a pretty playboy in an arm sling to come wandering into the room, and then, using his superb personal knowledge of what it's like to be traumatized to the point of insanity, getting the suspect to disarm. I just love the way they look at each other, incredulous (Luo Wenzhou) and mock-fascinated (Fei Du). If I ever meet the person who directed this scene I'm going to need to kiss them on the mouth.

Once you accept the gospel of Big Dumb Hot Cop and Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant into your media-based life, you'll find it has many applications, not all of which have to be procedurals. Consider: characters from the Daomu Biji franchise, possibly (Hei Xiazi is the biggest dumbest hottest not-a-cop I've ever met). Leverage, in a weird OT3 way. Assorted combinations of Avengers. Teen Wolf fic, absolutely. Various Stargate incarnations. Several other Priest danmei, not only procedurals. Definitely Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Et cetera. (You're on your own with MXTX, though.)

This has gotten long and there are still so many nuances and features and wrinkles and problems with the theory that should be ironed out, but it'll have to do for now. I'll simply close by saying: yes, there is also a classic example and you already know exactly who it is.

[horuslupercal]

post your astarteskeeping takes that will have you like this

I'll go first: I don't think it's possible to ethically keep thousand sons as pets. I know they're popular for their beauty and intense hobbies but their social needs are incredibly complex and hard to meet even for professional keepers, not to mention the psychic aspect

[wh40kgallery]

Thousand Sons

by Lewis Jones

[arttsuka]

Some doodles I did instead of paying attention to class

[nijmeh]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"distant relative" i assume you are referring to my father?

[visenyaism]

If you feel like it, For the Theory Rubric, Brienne is Dunk’s however many great granddaughter

i forget this one isn’t already canon. ALL TALL PEOPLE ARE RELATED

[wallbeatjournal]

Pour one out for Reggie, always second choice for the Lodges after Archie

SECOND CHOICE FOR EVERYONE. like literally it is so hard to evaluate reggie (especially w/r/t the lodges) without bringing in The Tragedy Of The Side Character Rival-Foil who exists in the narrative to experience B-plot versions of the A-plot in miniature

riverdale-the-metanarrative is so blatantly full of guys who are different versions of archie and where his character could go in the story if he didn't have to be the protagonist-hero - munroe as the jaded star fighter with the same nickname hiram originally used on archie as an endearment, who could get out of this damn town if he commits to sports. eric jackson as the disabled vet with unmanaged ptsd who betrayed his unit for a manipulative man in authority who just gets to be a respectable figure in society while his groomed victims suffer (and he could speak up and get justice if he's willing to handle the social impacts of being labeled a survivor). kevin as the openly-gay damagingly-impulsive, validation-seeking, people-pleasing, insecure joiner with a nice-but-emotionally-distant dad who keeps trying to find happiness through in-group conformism. julian s7 as literal understudy, and the guy who died in war (also got targeted and negged by s7 reboot hiram lodge in the s7 reboot version of wrestling. dramatic monologues).

reggie is like. the most powerful and tragic of all of these archie analogs bc he's sometimes a rival, too. so his jealousy and inferiority complex towards archie exists both inside and outside of the narrative! all of those other archie reflections aren't also competing with him and comparing themselves to him and constantly getting handed his leftovers and cast-offs and feeling that that is what's happening. but reggie is :\

anyway. so tragic. love u reggie

[uhohdad]

I didn't know my favourite trope is uptight x grumpy until ruby×price

It was truly the pairing I didn’t know I needed and I have been so enamored with the idea of a morning after I had to go for it.

Ruby springing up in the covers, her forehead tight from a night of overindulgence in whiskey and fine wine. Immediately her eyes are blown, lips pressed to hold in the squeal of regret that leaves her.

“Morning, Princess,” Price grumbles, not the least bit genuine. He opens his eyes, already dawning a squint as he rolls onto his back.

Ruby gasps dramatically, a hand coming up to touch her lips.

“Oh, John, what did we do?! This is more than inappropriate!”

Her words come out frantic, all in one breath, and ends with a high pitched squeal.

“Oh - if anyone found out about this we’d be in so much trouble!”

Price’s eyes close with a sneer as his hand rubs out the headache throbbing against his temple.

“No one’s gonna find out,” He says, both reassuringly and dismissively, his voice still heavy with the weight of sleep as he nestles back into his pillow.

Her eyes find him, his bushy, burly chest and sturdy arms on display, seemingly trying to ignore Ruby and go back to sleep.

“You’re not taking this very seriously, John!”

“You didn’t seem to be taking it too serious last night,” he mumbles.

Ruby lets out an offended scoff, looking at him with annoyance in her brow after the shock of his audacity wore off.

There is no mistaking the flush of her skin.

“In fact,” Price continues, a smug grin forming as he takes in a teasing tone, “You were taking it-“

“John!” Her palm hits the covers in protest.

“What?” He draws, as if he didn’t know he was pushing her buttons, but the mischievous smile on his face is more than telling.

Ruby grunts in a high-pitch, rubbing out her opposing shoulder with one hand as John blindly sticks an arm in the air and wordlessly invites her to curl up at his side.

Her brows furrow and her lips warp as she considers it.

“I don’t have all day, Princess.”

Ruby mumbles under her breath as she gives in, practically assaulting the covers in irritation as she nuzzles into the warmth of his chest.

[astriskssketchbook]

A baby rubric Marine.

They're cute, but they'll burrow into your flesh, eat some of your entrails and wait until they're fully grown to bust out of you....with love of course.

They're soft, squishy and smell like blue raspberry candy for some reason.

[hekateinhell]

trying to bullshit my way through to the end of the semester with the sheer unmitigated confidence of anne rice writing fanfic starring her flaming bisexual male oc guzzling the blood of jesus christ himself

[gum-drop-glitch]

This man fundamentally changed my brain chemistry. If you are unfamiliar with this trash gay boy(affectionate), this is Mitch Mueller from @marsoid incredible comic Long Exposure.

[flock-of-cassowaries]

My post-fall headcannon is that Will Graham just keeps opening Nature Valley bars on Hannibal’s bed, like “Gonna kill me now? C’mon, Mr. Moral High Ground! I thought this was your thing?”

Will calls it Rudeness Desensitization Training.

Hannibal calls it “the reason we have ants”.