#hannibal lecter’s murder eligibility rubric

[flock-of-cassowaries]

My post-fall headcannon is that Will Graham just keeps opening Nature Valley bars on Hannibal’s bed, like “Gonna kill me now? C’mon, Mr. Moral High Ground! I thought this was your thing?”

Will calls it Rudeness Desensitization Training.

Hannibal calls it “the reason we have ants”.

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Don’t worry, you could also just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like Franklyn Froidevoix:

And if you’ve ever dated a man who sucked, that’s also presumably enough? Assuming he wants to steal your huband’s identity (Lydia Fell).

And I don’t know what Marissa Schuur ever did to him, other than exist unattended and throw a rock at the grief-crazed man who was threatening her friend.

And if Cassie Boyle was in his rolodex before he took it upon himself to set up a test for that nifty little autistic guy, that was awfully convenient…

He also slammed Alana’s head into a brick wall just because she was inconveniently present when he was trying to terrorize Abigail;

but Freddie Lounds?

…alive throughout, even though she is consistently rude; presumably, because Hannibal enjoys tattlecrime. com .

What I’m saying is… I think the “eat the rude” thing was just a polite fiction Hannibal used to justify himself.

Like, some of his victims certainly were rude…

(This fucking guy, for example.)

But a lot were simply convenient.

It’s interesting that he kept up that fiction, though. Like, babygirl said he doesn’t hide from god, but like… buddy… are you maybe lying to yourself about the true degree of your own monstrousness?

My toxic trait is that I think I could survive nbc’s Hannibal simply because I am too socially awkward to be anything but polite to the general public. I order coffee in the order I know will be most convenient for the barista. I overtip bc even if it’s for something small and silly I just feel bad not doing it. I accidentally cut someone off??? I am apologizing profusely out loud even though they cannot hear me. I am trying my best to get a good grade in social interaction, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve