#Robin doesn’t know that she sometimes speaks out loud without meaning too

[nburkhardt]

Street Fair Dates.

Welcome to my first attempt at writing Buckingham! @i-less-than-three-you picked a prompt from a prompt list I reblogged a while ago (“Did I just say that out loud?!”) and had her give me the set up too. Went with buckingham, still set in the 80s, post-Vecna Chrissy lives with just barely established steddie as a bonus. It got outta hand and it’s mostly due to Robin rambling lol. ENJOY!

She’s being a third wheel, she realizes pretty quickly. It was completely by accident, but it was an invitation! Just, not technically an actual one, it was a “hey, you’re here too!” kinda invite. She won’t blame Eddie for it, not his fault she doesn’t think the same as other people.

She will however, totally blame him for them ditching her.

They’re at the street fair, she didn’t realize it’s supposed to be Steve and Eddie’s third date. Didn’t know until Steve stepped away to use the bathroom and Eddie finally admitted that she misunderstood when he asked Steve out last weekend. That he didn’t actually mean for her to join them.

��I was going to clarify it for you. But then Stevie told me you’ve been having a hard time since the worst spring break ever.”

Groaning, she shakes her head and places both hands on his shoulders to shake him. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve said no!”

“I just did!”

She shook him again before dropping her head against his chest, “you idiot! Does Steve know this?”

“Does Steve know what?” Speak of the Dingus and he’ll appear, “what are you guys doing?”

She knows they look weird, so she drops her arms to pull Steve close and loop their arms together, completely ignoring his questions and dragging him along to another booth. They stay like this for another few booths before she lets go to buy this cute little homemade frog plushie, when she goes to show them, they’re gone.

“Oh you jerks! Leaving a girl all by herself just to be cheesy dinguses!” She yells out and pouts.

She walks around by herself with her new plushie on her shoulder for a bit before settling on a bench with food and a drink, thinking “wish I could find someone who’ll go on a cute fair date with me”

There’s a giggle that brings her attention back to her surroundings and finds Chrissy standing in front of her, a basket of fruit with a duck plushie. She looks gorgeous and adorable, her outfit is perfect for the fair. A pale green sundress with sunflowers all over it, her shoes just simple sandals to match. Her hair is in a loose braid resting on her shoulder.

“God you’re so pretty”

The blush on Chrissy’s face makes her eyes go wide, slapping both hands over her mouth, “Did I just say that out loud?!”

Chrissy nods, “you did, you also talked about a cute fair date. Isn’t- I thought I saw you with Eddie earlier.”

Even the vague idea of being on a date with Eddie makes her scrunch her face up. Because gross, a date with a boy? Just, no.

She shakes her head before focusing back on Chrissy.

“Oh gross, no. I was with him earlier, but not as a date. Just as a friend, he and I are just friends! Plus he’s too much of a nerd for me, too dramatic too! Like could you imagine living with that guy? No thank you. Eddie and I are just friends.” She’s rambling, she knows this and can’t stop. Chrissy is just so damn pretty and her blush is a lovely shade of pink now, she’s smiling and god, Robin is gone. She’s so gone on her.

“Gone? What does that mean?”

Robin wants to die, she definitely needs to shut up. “I’m, I’m gonna go now. I think, oh! I see Steve and Eddie, I’m just-“

Not even waiting for a response back, she takes off and nearly runs to hide behind the two that ditched her. She doesn’t even care about that anymore, too focused on getting away from Chrissy so she doesn’t say anything else out loud.

Steve’s ready to catch her immediately. Eddie on the other hand looks bewildered because she didn’t say a word, Steve wasn’t even looking at her. They were even facing the other direction, but her platonic soulmate just knew to catch her. Her arms automatically going around him and her head hiding between his shoulders and neck.

“What the fuck, do you have like a radar built in on if Robin’s coming or are you really telepathic like Henderson keeps saying?” She can’t see Eddie’s face but she can imagine the confusion and impressed. If she wasn’t freaking out, she’d be laughing at him.

Steve has a tight grip on her, swaying slightly with a hum. Knowing that she’s freaking out without even asking, “I don’t understand what happened but whatever it is, I’m here Robs.”

After listening to the boys talk quietly, her adrenaline from the freak out dies down and she loosens her grip on Steve before getting down. Only to latch onto his hand to keep the connection, “So, I’m not sorry for again crashing your date. I mean, at this point I get to do this since you ditched me earlier and! And I completely rambled in front of Chrissy, made a complete fool of myself!”

Eddie snorts and Steve doesn’t but there’s a knowing smile playing on his lips, she can already tell where his head is going. Maybe they really are telepathic. She’ll try that out later, for now-

“Don’t even sta-!”

“You got a crush on Chrissy, Robs?”

Groaning she drops his hand like it’s burning her and crosses her arms across her chest. A blush working it’s way up her face, that doesn’t help. Eddie’s laughing again and Steve has a goddamn twinkle in his eyes. She doesn’t like that.

“Even if I did! Which- I don’t” she lies through her teeth, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of being right. “I already fucked up my chances with her. AND! We don’t even know if she likes girls. No matter how sweet she is, or how much she cares for any of us- I won’t ask her anything!”

The boys share a look, which is more mischievous than concerned now. It’s a little odd seeing that look on her platonic soulmate’s face aimed at someone else. After a silent conversation between them, which is also weird. This is their third date, how are they already on silent conversations part of the relationship?

Steve clears his throat before placing his hands on her cheeks, she hates this part. He squeezes her face, making her make the stupid fish look. Then he places a kiss on her forehead, loosens his grip before resting his forehead against hers. Both of them going near cross eyed, she moves her own hands up to match him.

This is one of their things. It’s a routine for when either of them wants to be completely serious and focus. It looks weird, feels weird and makes everyone uncomfortable. This is also why Dustin believes they are telepathic.

“Robin Buckley, you are an amazing person. A beautiful and wonderful woman, but you’re also the dumbest person I know right now.” Steve starts off in a whisper, “we don’t know if she is or isn’t, but! You didn’t ruin any chance with her, she would be an idiot not to give you a chance. Okay?”

She can’t nod but she hums back, “Stevie, i love you but this isn’t like with Vickie where you can figure out if she likes girls or not from a movie”



“No. But, I can see when someone has a crush on you.”

There is no fucking way Chrissy Cunningham, ex-cheer captain and absolutely the most gorgeous woman there is, has a goddamn crush on her, Robin Buckley. A band geek with a rambling problem.

“I see that doubt, Buckley. I am correct, just you watch!”

They separate after that one, she rolls her eyes and pushes him towards Eddie. “Are you two lovebirds done here? I’d like to go home”

——————

She lost her frog plushie.

It didn’t hit her until she was sitting at home staring at her desk where her notebook sat with her drawing of a little frog.

Groaning she falls back onto her bed, “it was so cute too!”

“Robin! Door for you!”

Shooting up to sit, confused. Her mom usually just sends Steve up when he comes over and the kids don’t show up to her house. Nancy and her aren’t close enough to show up randomly yet. And Eddie would just climb through her window, being the weirdo he is.

So, with all the other options out of the way she makes her way to the door and finds her mom still there. “Mom, if you’re trying to get Steve and i to date I’m telling you-“

Her mom waves a hand at her, “of course honey, it’s not Steve. You know I’d just send him up, that boy whether you date or not is family”

She smiles at that but it nearly falls when her mom finally moves and there stood Chrissy.

Not only is Chrissy standing there in yet another cute dress, but she has her frog plushie. What?!

“Sorry for not calling first. But you weren’t at work I checked there and Steve sent me here.” Chrissy explained with a smile, “I wanted to bring this back, you dropped him!”

The him in question,sitting in Chrissy’s hand is of course the little frog plushie she dropped at her fair.

“How-“

Chrissy shrugged a little with a smile, “he fell off your shoulder when you ran away from me.”

She can already feel her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Sorry about that, really. I didn’t mean to run away like that. I swear! Just. I kept rambling and I said things out loud that were meant to stay in my head, didn’t really want you to hear them. Sometimes I just can’t shut up, it’s like my brain to mouth filter doesn’t work right so I just had to like get away before I said something really stupid. Like-” She slapped her mouth shut, her eyes going wide.

There goes ever showing her face again to Chrissy and just when she didn’t think it could get any worse. That is until she realizes Chrissy is giggling, looking way too adorable with her own blush.

“I’m really so-“

“Don’t be! I think it’s cute, rambling and all.” Chrissy admits quietly, not meeting her eyes.

Robin doesn’t find it cute, rambling is what landed her in many awkward situations and always caused someone to be annoyed with her. It’s an annoyance more than anything, really.

“Chrissy you really don’t have to say that, rambling it’s- it’s annoying”

Chrissy shook her head, a pout on her face. “Can, can I come in?”

It finally registered that they’re still standing in her doorway. Her blush comes back full force and she quickly moves out of the way to let Chrissy in before closing the door and leading her back to her bedroom.

It’s a good mix of comfy with her normal grunge-ish, androgynous style. The walls are painted a dark forest green, there’s posters from bands and singers she likes covering it. A few movie posters she stole from work, polaroids of her and Steve and then some of her with her band friends and the Party. But most are her and Steve. In the corner of the room opposite of her messy bed, is a beanbag with a tiny little shelf with her own personal library. It’s full of books from musical theory to queer literature. Signs pointing to her sexuality is clear, a pink triangle painted above the shelf.

Hopefully it doesn’t scare Chrissy away.

Chrissy is looking around before squealing and dropping onto the beanbag, “I’ve always wanted one!”

It’s making her blush seeing Chrissy in her space like this, she doesn’t know what to do besides drop down on her bed. “They are really a better alternative to chairs. I wanted comfort, a space where I could curl up with a book and a blanket but not my bed. Ya know? Then one day I was out with my mom and she pointed out that beanbag saying it would match my walls. So, it ended up being a birthday present and well now it’s here!” She’s rambling again and looking everywhere but at Chrissy’s face, “I’d really recommend you get one for yourself, it’s worth it”

Chrissy’s giggling and well, Robin’s weak, she finally lands her gaze back on the blonde only to see her sitting up as best as one can on a beanbag. Her cheeks a pretty red and a smile on her lips, overall she’s just so pretty.

“Until I get my own, can I just use yours?” Chrissy asks and if this was anyone else, Robin would normally immediately say no. It’s her beanbag, the only other person who sits there usually besides her is Steve and that normally leads to both of them sitting on it with a tangle of limbs.

She doesn’t any of that, instead just nods because if she open her mouth it’d all fall out and she’s already rambled enough.

Chrissy beams at her and it melts her heart.

They fall into a comfortable silence, it’s so nice and quiet she swore Chrissy was asleep. Until she looked over and found her leaning back again but this time with a book. She can see her eyes follow the words, she flips the page and she looks so at peace right now.

It makes her heart beat a little faster and her blush rise back to her cheeks again. There’s a tiny voice in the back of her head to stop being a chicken. It’s annoying that it sounds like her Dingus. She’s not a chicken, she’s just…scared. Afraid that if she does make a move, Chrissy will be disgusted by her and never talk to her again.

This is nothing like what happened with Steve, he got lucky that the guy he liked was stupidly open with having the black bandanna in his pocket. Chrissy has no tells. She’s never said anything that would even remotely suggest she likes girls. It’s only ever been boys for Chrissy and Robin is very much not a boy.

“-bin? Hey, you okay?”

She jerks backwards, flailing a little, shocked back into reality. Her eyes widen before she sits back up again and instead of Chrissy sitting on the beanbag, they’re now face to face.

Chrissy must notice panic on her face, moving back so there’s more space between them. She’s frowning, a concern crossing onto her face. “You zoned out on me, Robin. Everything okay?”

She nodded her head, words failing her suddenly and that’s a wonder.

“Are you sure? Because I asked you a question a few minutes ago and you didn’t answer me, or um, did you ignore it because it’d be weird?” Chrissy had a blush on her face but it looked different than before somehow, like she was embarrassed and Robin couldn’t figure out why.

She shook her head to get the swirling doubt out, “I’m fine, really. I just got lost in my head. Wasn’t ignoring you I swear, it would be hard to ignore you, actually. Sometimes I’m like, hyper aware of you. It’s weird and I probably shouldn’t say that because it sounds creepy and honestly I don’t want to sound creepy but I can’t help it.” Her cheeks are burning and she can’t stop, “whatever it is you asked it’s probably not weird, nothing you ask me can be weird actually, I mean unless you asked me if I was ready to like have kids or something now that would be weird. Oh my god, I need to shut up, but I’m nervous around you all the time” She forces herself to stop talking by covering her mouth with a hand while waving at Chrissy to talk now.

Chrissy laughs before sitting next to her and Robin follows, hand still against her mouth. Chrissy smooths out her dress and fiddles with the edge, Robin’s eyes following. “Well, I was thinking maybe, if you wanted to. If you’d go with me to this street fair for art coming up. Just, um, the two of us. Maybe, if- if you wanted to go”

“Like, um, like a date?” She doesn’t know why, but it comes out as a whisper. Probably because she’s afraid that she read this wrong, girls ask their friends to hang out all the time. But with the way it was said, it didn’t sound like a friend asking their friend.

Instead of a vocal response, Robin watches with wide eyes as Chrissy nods her head before looking up and meeting her gaze.

“Am- am I dreaming? Like, are you real right now?” She blurts out, before slapping her mouth, “oh my god, Chrissy.”

“If you’re worried I’m using you as like, a test? I’m not, I swear. I really like you, and I noticed the symbols and how many queer literature you have.” Chrissy explains to her, “and um, I overheard you and Steve one day talking about who was hotter Michelle Pfeiffer or Molly Ringwald”

She’s going to both punch her best friend and then squeeze him in the tightest hug ever for convincing her to play who’s hotter in public.

Taking a moment to breathe, she closes her eyes before opening them again and placing her hand on Chrissy’s slightly shaky one, “Chrissy, I believe you and I would love to go on a date with you”

Chrissy smile is bright and she matches it. She tugs Chrissy’s hand to hold it properly, squeezing it, in a way to prove to herself that this is real. Which it is and she’s going to be on a high for the rest of the day.

They stay like that for another hour, figuring out the plans for the date. Only stopping when her mom yells up that dinner was finished. Chrissy doesn’t stay for dinner, but she does kiss her cheek before she leaves. Because of that, she doesn’t even mind that her mom bugs her about Chrissy.

Nothing can ruin Robin’s good mood, she got her frog plushie back and now she has a date with Chrissy Cunningham at a street fair coming up.

~~

Sorry I didn’t get to writing out their actual date, Robin rambled too much 😅 maybe I’ll write their date out at some point. Also if the formatting looks weird, sorry about that the tumblr app is pissing me off and not letting me fix it. I’m also not using drafts because it deletes things. ANYWAY!! I hope you enjoyed this and that it’s pretty close to being accurate to the characters, this was one of my first times writing out Robin and Chrissy.

[hotluncheddie]

high masking autistic steve harrington follow on from this post

ao3

wc: 2.6k | rated: T | cw: description of a meltdown with semi aggressive stimms | tags: autistic steve harrington (and eddie and robin but this is about stevie), hurt/comfort, stobin soulmates, steddie, steve Harrington has shitty parents

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he failed. he graduated. but he failed. those unsaid words between him and his parents. some get said. the bad ones, about him, they get said. over again like he’s 5 and being told is behaviour isn’t acceptable. that how he is isn’t right. ‘shape up or ship out’, basically. steve knows he can’t go anywhere new, not right now. only freshly recovered, physically at least. mentally; he’s still unacceptable. 

when steve works at scoops. it’s so fucking bright in there. so fucking bright, all day and he can’t focus and talking to people gets so much harder. it’s not like school where he can zone out in class and turn it on during lunch, in between, keep up his face with the people around him and sink back into his head during chemistry. no. now it’s all the time, customer after customer. that he has to talk to, put on a smile for, read so he gives them what they want and they leave happy. it’s exhausting. girls don’t like him anymore, they don’t react to him the same way. he doesn’t think he likes them much either though because they’re so much more annoying when it’s so fucking bright. 

but robin (robin who cycles to work with sunglasses on and doesn’t take them off till she has too) she turns the lights down during open and close. so those couple hours, it’s not so bad. not so stressful. a little bit less loud. 

after the mall burns down steve starts letting her in. tries too. she makes it obvious enough to him that she wants him there. she asks him to stay and calls him at night and he just wants to be enough for her. eventually he’d swallowed his pride and bolstered his courage and called her after a string of nightmares. asking her to stay the night. but then she was there, and it was like everything was thrown off. she was grating on his already freyed nerves but he didn’t know what to say. how to fix it without upsetting her. 

but that night, a mirror of the mall bathroom played out in steves en-suite. steve had freaked. hidden. but she didn’t leave. and he tried to explain. 

he needs her but he doesn’t know how to have her as a true friend. ‘i dunno how to talk to a girl if i don’t wanna date them. i uh, maybe, don’t really know how to talk to someone as myself. as a friend. sorry.’ 

‘well i don’t know how to talk to jocks so. same boat.’ and she has this glint in her eye. like she knows. and it’s okay. 

because robin, she made it simple. she makes it easy. she says just ask and she’ll be honest and give him a yes or no. she’ll say if she can’t be touched right now, or if the movie he chose is pissing her the fuck off. and she wants the same from him. if the music is too loud, if she needs to let him not speak for a while. wants him honest and present and real. real friends. someone close. finally. 

it’s rocky at first. she’s honest and he’s not used to it. it feel like criticism more often than not. makes him see red and lash out, like he was never able to with his parents. but he apologises and she stays. and he’s learning; that’s it’s okay, he’s not perfect and that means she’s knowing the real him. and she’s still his best friend even if he has to tell her to stop picking her nail polish off around him because it makes him want to die. and she laughs at him the first time she sees him in real recovery mode; hair not styled and he has on the only sweatshirt that ever feels good when he’s like this. 

they lay on the floor in darkness and silence. it’s perfect. they share a tin of soup and a grilled cheese. it’s perfect. 

being around robin as much as he is, its so new, having someone see so many parts of you. sometimes she laughs at him asking steve ‘why’d your voice change?’ but steve didn’t even know it had. he was, he was just talking to someone else quick, being nice like you’re supposed to, attentive to make them feel good. he didn’t know his voice changed that much. 

‘girls would like you more if you talked normal to them. how you do to me.’ 

steve swallowed thickly. he just. he just doesn’t know that thats true. nancy left, he talked to her about lots of things, too many things. she like him better at the start. before some of his black tar innards spilled out. before he freaked. before he was able to paste himself back together and she saw him for what he really is. 

he thinks of his parents. how they don’t know him and still don’t like him. anxiety prickles at his fingertips at the thought of those times they do come home. 

because with them there the routine he’s carved for himself, those quiet moments of darkness that he so craves. they’re gone. now it’s tv static and plates clanging and having to show his face at dinner again. but he’s not ten anymore. now he’s an adult whose still drowning in the tension of the room, never able to say what’s really going on, never allowed to ask how they really feel, never taught how to figure his feeling out. no listening ear for steve as a child, and the ice only grew thicker with time. 

it’s his skin itching at his mother stirring her tea across the house, spoon agains porcelain. it’s the hair on the back of his neck standing up at the sound of ice clinking in his fathers scotch glass. it’s triggered memories playing over and over again. it’s being plagued, by ghosts who haunt him, who left but come back every so often, like poltergeists. polietgists with the deed to the house, and ownership over steve, through blood and fear alone. 

‘when they get back you come to mine steve yeah? you come home.’

because now theres not just robin. there’s eddie. 

he sees everything. and more. even when steve’s trying to hide. eddie sees. 

he noticed steve squinting at the hospital and asked the nurse to turn the lights down. he saw how he started zoning out at a diner with the kids, their arguing reaching a pitch, asked steve to keep him company for a smoke break. once they were outside eddie said he just needed a moment, ‘those kids can be animals’. said it and looked a him like he didn’t need an answer, let steve just breathe a focus on the sound of the wind. 

it’s like there’s a million tiny moments, a million tiny cracks in him forming the more he’s around eddie. like his soft underbelly is mewling any time he’s around, wanting attention, wanting to let eddie see. let eddie touch. 

eddie used to look at him sometimes, across the lunch hall. stare at him with an expression steve couldn’t really make sense of. he used to think it was judgment, annoyance. now he wonders if that face was confusion or interest. maybe eddie’s always been trying to figure steve out. 

once it starts. them. eddie’s everywhere. more somehow, maybe, than robin because, you know, they go there. but it’s different, from those time, with those girls. instead now he’s there and his brains off and on in a, like, magical way. a new way that makes him feel whole and, and beautiful. 

this thing they have. it’s fragile. it’s not perfect. he messes up, takes him a moment to grasp how eddie can be so so himself, always, no matter what. especially when it causes him problems. ‘why not just try and fit in?’ but the stone faced reply told steve that was the wrong thing to say, he didn’t get it but he needed to respect it. respect eddie and his choices. ‘i’m not like you steve, even if my brain shit was all gone i’d still be poor, i’d still be othered. still be a gay weirdo little freak.’ 

and steve is trying to get it. he’s learning to recognise that it’s sadness and confusion in eddie’s eyes when he visits him at work, knowing steve is having a bad day and watching him pretend. watching that mask form thick and fast, hiding the real him, protecting but also keeping everyone far far away. steve thinks maybe they’re living parallels. finding different ways to survive. neither better, neither worse. both far from perfect. 

then that pinched sadness in eddie’s eyes. watching steve pretend. cover up. that damn breaks eventually. eddie sees all of him and more. those bits he always kept locked inside. between he and himself. it all comes spilling out. 

they were supposed to be going out soon. but eddie wasn’t feeling it anymore ‘let’s just stay here, be cozy a little longer. what do you say, sweetheart?’ it does sound nice. steves so tired. but they decided. they had a plan. 

‘we said we would. and i have to buy that thing eddie. we had a plan. and i have to go to work later, so we have to do it before. like we said and then i have to work eddie.’ and before he knows it there’s tears prickling his eyes and the ceiling fan is so loud and the desk lamp is too bright and he smacks a fist to the top of his head and it hurts a little but he’s so frustrated and so overwhelmed and so confused and embarrassed, suddenly. and he can’t breath. why can’t he breath? they had a plan. 

they were supposed to go see hopper and pick something up and he has to talk to him and ask about the game because he needs hopper to like him because it’s better when el can come when all the kids hangout. it’s important that she’s happy so hopper needs to trust steve so steve was going to talk to him today and pick something up. it was the plan. hopper makes him nervous but that was the plan. and then he had to go to work. but now he can’t breathe and he feels like he needs something to hurt. 

‘but he already trusts you with el stevie. hop trusts you with anything.’ 

‘i can’t know that. not for sure. when i talk to him it needs to be perfect.’ steve paces. a pinch at his arm. a tug at his hair. pivot. pace. repeat. 

‘i heard what he said to you steve, on your birthday, he was calling you son all day. you don’t need to prove anything to him.’ 

‘i do eddie! you don’t understand. people, they lie. adults lie. they don’t say things the way they mean. i can’t fuck up talking to him. not like i always fuck up talking to my parents. i need to do it better. do it differently. because everyone always leaves. and i just don’t want to be alone again.’ and the tears really start to fall and steve can barely breath and he’s so embarrassed. shaking hands try and cover his face but the tears slip through. 

and all he can think about is the plan. going to work. his vest hanging by the door. the way the plastic tapes feel in his hands. the smell of the bleach they mop the back room with. the day stretches before him. so many things in the way. so much anxiety still to come. if he can’t start, it can’t end. he gnaws at his lip. thumps a hand to his chest, trying to breath right, trying to ground. 

‘i have to go to work’ he mutters. like a prayer. speak it in to happening. taking him away from the now. thump thump thump at his chest. ear ringing. 

eddie’s holding his arms out, giving steve the option. he speaks so calmly, so earnest. ‘you can’t go to work steve. not like this baby.’

steve rounds on him. angry. when did everything get so messed up? if he was just left alone. he should’ve stayed on his own. ‘i cant just call in sick eddie! i’m not sick and and i hate the way they’ll sound when i say it over the phone and knowing what they’ll be thinking about me. they’ll know i hate the job and think i’m lazy and realise how stupid and useless i am and fire me. i can’t afford to get fired eddie. i’d rather just go in.’ he know it comes out garbled, his cheeks on fire. 

‘i’m not letting you go in steve. i’ll sort it. i’ll go pick up robin before and she’ll cover for you, she’ll explain. and she would never. ever think that of you.’ eddie’s voice dropped octave. he speaks clearly and plainly and finally there’s a new plan to follow. a new rule for the day. 

and all steve can do is curl up in a ball and sob. curl up in a ball against eddie chest, in his arms, squeezing his t-shirt between his fingers. clenching his muscles tight, his teeth grinding together. grunting out some of the decade old scream, still stuck there but more visible to him now. 

until finally finally, he relaxes. spent and exhausted. too afraid to open his eyes and face the lamplight, face what could be in eddie’s expression. he drifts..

eventually he gets up, blows his nose and splashed water on his face, turns off all the lights and get back under the warm blanket. fills his lungs. sighs. whispers, ‘m’sorry’ 

‘don’t say that. there’s nothing to apologise for’ eddie’s so close, so warm. 

‘no one’s supposed to ever, see that.. it’s okay if you want to leave’ 

‘steve. why the fuck would i leave you right now?’ 

‘who’d wanna date someone who acts like that? it’s. it’s not good eddie. but, but it’s okay. i’m used to being alo-.’ 

‘please stop stevie. your breaking my heart here. i want to stay, i want to be here with you. i really really like you steve.’ and steve’s cheeks feel wet again. he feels flayed open and young, like a little kid who fell off the swings and everything is different suddenly. 

later later when eddie picks robin up from work she stalks in to where steve’s wrapped up on the couch. curls up into his side and exhales. she bites into his bicep. huffing a sad, annoyed little ‘dingus’ before grabbing his hand and fiddling with his fingers. 

steve feels his eyes prickle again. looking up at the ceiling he croaks out a small ‘sorry.’ for the day. for everything. for anything he can be. and everything he can’t. 

robin kneels on the sofa right next to him. growling a little and placing one of her hands at his sternum and the other at the same height on his back. like she’s forcing herself inside him, holding him together. her hands start to rub up and down quickly, frenzied and grounding for both of them. steve let’s his head hang. eyes closing at the sensation. he grunts. robin grunts back. 

eddie joins. sitting at his other side. slipping a hand in steve’s hair, soothing his scalp with long scratching fingers. and steve humms, sighs, keens. eyes closed he drifts but not away from his body, instead into it. with gratitude, and warmth. at the centre of the two best things that ever happened to him. willing to try again. be just, better. never perfect. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖

pt 3 snippet

a little happier for u @pearynice <3

ty @spectrum-spectre @vampyreddiemunson @fangirlycupcake @grandwretch for ur tags and additions, it was very inspiring

and tags for lovely @irethsune @willim-billiam-byerson @2jug2head

[eddiehashands]

Another leaving party.

This one isn’t even a party. Just “Do you wanna hang out one last time before I -” - “Yeah. Yeah, sure. That’d be nice.”

One last time.

There was a real party, too - Steve wouldn’t have fit in, all those involved eight years younger than him at least. Besides, it wasn’t really Erica’s party, it was all of her friends, too, all of the ones going off to college like her, at least. 

Just another place he wouldn’t belong.

“You could’ve come, you know,” she says.

She’s wrong, but he doesn’t tell her that. It might hurt her, and he still has this weird need to protect her from stuff like that. Stuff that he’s glad isn’t about physical danger anymore. 

She doesn’t call him on not answering, just pushes open the squeaking wooden gate to the cemetery. Holds it open behind her.

It’s cold for August, but it suits today. Maybe the sky knew that this was where they were coming, that this was the place Erica wanted to spend her last day in Hawkins.

“You still come here every week?” she asks.

Steve hesitates for a minute before shaking his head. “Not that often,” he gives a self conscious laugh. “Robin told me Max would get sick of my stupid face.”

She had said that nearly a year ago, now. Despite how long it's been, it had sounded so much like something that Max would’ve said that he had felt sick, in the moment, and just breathed down the phone, each breath shaking and forced. Moments later, she had backtracked. “Shit, Steve, I didn’t mean -” - “Don’t worry about it, Rob.”

It’s not like they stopped speaking after that. Sometimes he feels as though he can barely breathe until he hears her voice. And it’s nothing to do with how she talks without thinking and says dumb shit. That’s why he loves her.

It’s just that he’s learning to breathe on his own now. It’s the worst thing he’s ever had to teach himself, and the only thing he wishes he’d learnt sooner.

It’s just that their phone calls have longer in between them now. The one they had had last night was the first in - nearly a month.

Erica snorts, oblivious to his internal whirlwind. “She’s got a point. Max would definitely say that.”

It doesn’t hurt to agree. “She would. Little shit.” 

Erica looks down at the ground, smiling. They’re getting close, now, and her grip tightens on the two white lilies she’s holding in one hand. “She’d hate the flowers, too. I mean, sometimes she would be over at mine and I thought she was crying ’cos her and Lucas were having another fight, but it was just her hayfever.”

Agreeing out loud seems unnecessary at this point. He simply nods, smiles. Lets himself remember.

“But tough shit,” Erica continues laying down a flower at Max’s grave. “She’s getting one.”

Steve digs a hand into the pocket of his jeans and carefully extracts the almost-not-crumpled origami bird.

“Robin taught me how to make it over the phone,” he explains to Erica. “You would not believe how long it took, that girl does not explain things well.”

“Oh, I’d believe it,” Erica says. “Hey, you’d better have one for Eddie, too.”

“What do you think of me?” Steve asks. “Although, that’s a point, hang on.”

He digs his hand back in his pocket for the other bird, and sits cross legged in front of Max’s grave to take back the one he had just placed. He holds one in each hand, scrutinising them carefully. They’re both just made of the same plain white paper, but the one in his left hand that he had put down first is just a little more crumpled, one of its wings having been folded the wrong way in his pocket. 

He saves that one for Eddie. Something about looking out for the outcasts.

He places Max’s down carefully beside the lily, and makes casual conversation as he does. Casual, like, I want Max to be able to hear this, just in case she can. 

“You heard from Lucas recently? How’s he doing?”

“You want the answer, maybe you should call him sometimes,” she retorts quickly, her eyes narrowed. 

He knows how she feels about this already, it’s not the first time he’s asked after Lucas to get that response. And she knows he hasn’t done anything about it since the last time he mentioned it.

She sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes. “He’s fine. He got that job that I was telling you about. At that sports centre.”

“The one for disadvantaged kids?”

“Yeah, that one. So annoying, I can’t even bully him for being a nerd for it, because he’s actually, like, helping people.”

Steve lets himself smile softly, fondly for a moment, then turns to look at Erica with the smile turned lopsided. 

“So you’ll just hope one of those kids will do it for you, right?”

“Obviously.”

Her laughter, when it comes a second later, is a sound that he realises he’s going to miss desperately. 

She’s the last one left, has been since Dustin left two years back. 

(He’d had to repeat senior year. Steve had found him in the middle of spring break after vanishing for two days - Claudia had been worried sick, Steve too. In the end, where else could he have found him but the abandoned trailer park, his clothes drenched from the rain and scuff marks from his boots hitting what was left of the trailer over and over again. Steve’s hands still hurt now at the memory of letting Dustin punch them so hard. He didn’t go back to school that year. Didn’t graduate. It wasn’t fair.)

“Hey,” Erica’s voice comes, petulant in a way she hasn't really been for seven years now. “Am I here to hang out with you or just to watch you think?”

“Thought you and Robin established I don’t have a high enough IQ to think?”

“Well, you do seem to be straining with the effort.”

He jumps to his feet and shoves her shoulder - not hard, though she’s strong enough now with all that boxing she did after - that he’d barely be able to budge her if he tried.

She shoves back, anyway, and soon enough she’s wiggling in underneath his arm to wrap her arms round his middle and her head on his shoulder. 

“You’ll come visit me, right?”

“What, when you’re a big shot lawyer?”

“Answer the question, Steve.”

He thinks of the others. Counts on one finger the amount of times he went to visit Nancy like he promised, counts on one hand the amount of times he’s visited Robin in six years. Hasn’t made it out to see Dustin, yet.

He knows it’s over, now, he knows nothing is coming back to Hawkins, but he knew it was over three times before, too, and if he leaves - 

Even though there’s going to be no one here he cares enough to save, after tomorrow. 

Nothing is coming back to Hawkins. No one is coming back, either. 

“Yeah,” he lies. “I’ll come visit.”

[made-ofmemories]

Stargazing

Also posted to ao3

Written for day 21 of platonic stobin month

Characters: Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley Word count: 1062

Robin calls sometime around midnight. She often does when she can’t sleep, plagued by flashbacks of secret Russian bunkers under small-town malls and the squeeze of vines around her neck. Steve’s already awake when she calls, he always is.

Usually, they talk, sometimes about what’s bothering them, sometimes about anything except for what’s bothering them. Other times they just exist there together in silence comforted by the fact that there’s someone else on the other side of the line, someone who understands in a way that not many people can. Tonight is different. Steve’s been feeling antsy all day and Robin doesn’t argue when he suggests they go for a drive.

“Do you believe in aliens?” Robin asks.

They’re perched on the hood of Steve’s BMW out in the middle of nowhere near Loch Nora. Robin has her head tipped back looking up at the clear night sky but she turns to look at Steve when she speaks. It’s the first real conversation they’ve had in the hour they’ve spent driving around the back roads of Hawkins.

“What, like little green men from Mars?”

“No- well, maybe I don’t know.” She shrugs then gestures up at the stars above them with one hand, “Do you think there’s anything out there?”

“No,” He says without much thought, “Do you?”

“How can you not? There’s billions of planets out there. I mean statistically, it’s unlikely that we’re the only ones right? It’s got to be. There must be someone else out there somewhere.”

“I don’t know, it just all feels a little too… sci-fi.”

“You’ve fought inter-dimensional monsters, but you draw the line at aliens?” Robin asks, her voice clouded by disbelief and just a little bit of humor, “Really, Steve?”

“Well yeah, but that’s different.” He splutters in a rush to defend himself, “We’ve seen those things, it’s not like it was ET crawling out of the Upside down!”

“ET?” It’s followed by a snort and a poor attempt from Robin to hold back her laughter.

It was one of the first movies they’d watched together after getting the job at Family Video, part of Robin’s ongoing mission to educate him on all things pop culture. It had been a particularly slow day, they had already gotten through 3 movies when Robin plucked it from the shelf.

“Yeah! You know, ET phone home, that guy.” He says with an impression that only makes Robin laugh harder.

“Oh my god,” She takes in a gulp of air, trying to catch her breath as the laughter fades, “That was truly, truly terrible, Steve.”

“Still better than your muppet impression,” He teases.

“You’re such a dork. How did anyone ever think you were cool?”

“Shut up, you love me.”

She hums as if she’s considering it, “Nope, I’m revoking your best friend card.”

“Oh really?” He asks, deciding to humor her, “Who’s going to be your best friend now?”

She doesn’t miss a beat, “Nancy.”

“You traitor!” He yells, but there’s a bright smile on his face and a lilt in his voice.

“Shut up,” She hisses, clamping a hand over his mouth as if that’s going to stop him, “It’s the middle of the night.”

He tries to speak and it comes out garbled, muffled by the palm clamped against his face. He considers being childish and licking her hand, but ultimately decides on just brushing her hand away.

“So what? We’re in the middle of nowhere there’s no one around. No one can hear us!” He yells the last part at the top of his lungs.

It feels good in a cathartic kind of way to just let it all out with no consequence. He does it again and lets out a loud shout, this time he’s not trying to say anything he’s just screaming out into the darkness. Robin joins in without prompting and then it’s the two of them sitting there on Steve’s car letting out years worth of frustration into the silence until the yells dissolve into laughter.

“Come on.” He nudges her in the side with his elbow, “I think we’ve been out here long enough, it’s starting to get cold.”

“Can I stay over with you tonight?”

“Of course,” He says it seriously, wanting her to know he genuinely means it, she’s always welcome. Then the teasing tone starts to seep back into his voice, “Besides, it’s better than watching you try to climb up that tree to get back into your room.”

He swears she would make less noise just using the front door and it would certainly save his nerves every time he has to watch her clambering in or out of her window. He doesn’t know how she hasn’t broken a bone yet with the number of times she’s slipped and almost fallen.

“You know I have no coordination, it took me-”

“6 months longer than all the other babies to learn how to walk.” He says in perfect sync with her and she starts to laugh again, just a few breathy exhales of amusement.

“You know me too well. It’s kind of weird,” She tells him once they’ve both slid into their respective seats in the car.

“Yeah, well we’re just a pair of weirdos, Robs, tell me something I don’t know.” He smiles, turning the key in the ignition and listening to the sound of the engine roaring to life.

She doesn’t even ask before she goes rifling through his closet looking for a comfy t-shirt and the same pair of sweatpants she always steals from him before she flops down onto his bed without invitation. He lets out a heavy sigh at the sight as if he wouldn’t be following her down the hallway like a lost puppy if she even so much as thought about staying in one of the spare rooms. It’s a routine that had developed not long after Starcourt, the nightmares never fully went away but they’d been more frequent back then.

Steve crawls into bed under the blankets, what little of them Robin has left for him. He reminds her frequently what a bed hog she is but usually, all it earns him is a few grumbled sleepy curses and occasionally a middle finger pointed in his direction.

“Goodnight, Robs.” He’s already got his face half smushed into his pillow and the words come out muffled.

“‘Night, Stevie.”

[soulmate-game]

Useful Part 2

fluff with a little hurt and comfort. If you want answers as to the lack of angst, look through my recent posts for an explanation. 

—* — * — * —* —* 

“Wait, you have a WHAT?” were the first words that the rest of the Gotham-based vigilantes heard when they finally were able to track down where Damian had gone. Dick looked over at Bruce, who was noticeably tense. No surprise there, the man had just found out that he had a second biological child. One who was apparently a superhero already, without his intervention, and also apparently had a tragic background in the League of fucking Assassin Assholes. Not to mention that Damian’s track record with meeting siblings wasn’t great, even if this one wasn’t actually new to him. Nobody had any real fear of Damian relapsing on his no-kill rule, they knew he had matured far too much to be at risk of killing for something as immature as sibling rivalry anymore. 

But there was still fear. Because this new Wayne was an Unknown Factor, and as a rule the Bats hated Unknown Factors. And they had no idea what the relationship between the two had been before they had been separated, or what it would become now. 

“That wasn’t Damian’s voice,” Dick helpfully pointed out the obvious. Bruce only frowned, doing his best (and failing) to hide his anxiety about what they would find. Silently, the group inched forward to the edge of the abandoned building they were on top of so that they could look over at what was happening. What they saw was a girl, presumably the same one who had been in a ladybug onesie and had fearlessly begun to ask them to leave Paris— until she had laid proper eyes on Robin and fled, that was. That girl was sitting down next to an unmasked Damian, who had his arm around her shoulders and let her lean into his side. He even smirked cheerfully at her question before continuing to speak to her. 

“A dragon-bat. I knew you’d love hearing about him, I’ll introduce you when you come visit the Batcave. His name is Goliath,” Damian admitted smugly. Despite the familiar attitude and pride behind his words though, his spying family couldn’t help but notice that he kept periodically rubbing the girl’s (they really needed to find out her name) shoulder in reassurance. None of them missed the tear tracks on both of their faces, or how red the girl’s eyes were. Clearly they had missed something big. 

But nobody wanted to try to figure that out yet. This scene was too precious, too breathtaking for them to interrupt just yet. They had never seen Damian this vulnerable around someone outside of their little circle before, someone from the Time Before Bruce, no less. Most of the time, only Nightwing was able to see this side to Damian. And usually the roles were reversed, with Damian being the one consoled. They had never seen him in the position of the comforter before. The pillar of support. 

It really cemented just how far he had come. 

So they watched silently as the girl flinched, pulling away a bit and hunching in on herself. The laugh she let out was small and overflowing with self-degradation. 

“You make it sound as if the rest of your family actually wants me to visit,” she replied sourly. Damian gently cuffed her over the head, frowning. 

“Two things,” he held up two fingers from his free hand. “One: They will. They accepted me, and I was— well, you remember how I used to be. Once they actually meet you, and process the fact that there’s another Wayne now, they will bombard you with more welcoming than you will know what to do with. Two: It’s Our family, Marinette. Not mine, ours.”

Well, at least they had a name now. But it seems like they had bigger issues now, like Marinette’s clearly damaged sense of self. Jason and Tim traded knowing glances; it wasn’t hard for them to guess where, or how, she might have been damaged enough to think so lowly of herself. 

They watched as Marinette shook her head. 

“I don’t know. It’s one thing to try to… to get to know you again. We used to be close before… everything,” she haltingly argued, voice small and frail and uncertain. But she never once looked away from Damian’s eyes, trying to convey as best as she could what she was feeling. “But they’re different. They don’t have any reason to trust or like me, Dami. And I’m bad at, well everything, but especially,” she waved her hands frantically as if indicating the whole situation they were in. “I mean, listen to me! I can barely articulate right now, and I’m talking to someone I’ve known my whole life! I’m a mess. Nobody wants a mess.” 

It was Damian’s turn to snort, and he pulled her right back into his side. “Please. If anything, that’s exactly the type of child Father goes looking for. We’re all a mess. Especially Father, trust me.” 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” she accused suspiciously, but sank into his sideways embrace anyway. Damian chuckled. 

“No, I’m being honest. He’s terrible at emotions, not that I really have much room to talk. We all are pretty bad with them. But he’s the most obvious when it comes to that issue,” Damian smirked over at his sister conspiratorially. “For example. He still tries to tell people that he works alone, and pushes people away because he has this intense desire to protect, but doesn’t know how to say “I don’t want you to get hurt, stop worrying me,” so instead he says “Go away, I don’t need you,” only for us to see through that nonsense and remind him that the amount of people in his team is in the double digits already. He doesn’t want to admit he cares about us and is vulnerable—”

“Sounds familiar,” Marinette teased with a watery grin, startling a short laugh from her twin. He nudged her a little roughly (but not to roughly) and playfully glared at her. Marinette just giggled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lied with a grin before waving his free hand in dismissal. “Anyway. Another example. He has no idea how to tell a stranger, “hey, I’m your father and I will not reject you. In fact, I’m completely willing to adopt you right this moment and whisk you away to Gotham and relative safety and hire an entire team of therapists to help you and buy you half the world if you asked for it,” so instead he and the rest of our emotionally constipated family just lurks on the edge of a building in broad daylight eavesdropping on us and expects us not to notice.” 

“Wait what,” Marinette’s gaze instantly whipped up towards the sky, taking only half a second to locate the aforementioned eavesdroppers. Everyone except Bruce at least had the courtesy to duck down and pretend not to be there when they noticed she had seen them, leaving Batman standing seemingly alone on the concrete roof. Marinette blinked once. Twice. Then turned to Damian. “I’m gonna blame the fact that I didn’t notice them on emotional turmoil, because there is no way I’ve gotten THAT rusty.” 

Damian smiled, but didn’t laugh. He knew that was a deflection to try and distract from Marinette’s quickly resurging self-consciousness. Her hands were already trembling again, and the fear from only minutes ago had resurfaced. The insecurity. He could practically see the words “I’m not good enough,” written in her irises. 

“You’ll be fine,” he whispered, standing up and pulling her with him. “If anyone has to worry here, it’s me.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Marinette whisper-hissed right back, eyes wide in disbelief and confusion. “You’re— You! Mister Perfect!” 

Damian rolled his eyes, and his self-deprecating smirk matched the laugh Marinette had given just a few minutes earlier. “For the League, maybe,” he shrugged. “Never the Wayne family. Which is why I know you’ll be fine. If they put up with everything I’ve done and still call me one of them, they’ll accept you with barely a second thought.” 

Marinette’s next argument was cut off by the sound of a dozen soft footfalls stirring up dirt not far ahead of them. The BatClan had landed from the rooftop. 

Marinette gulped. 

But if there was one thing— one thing she still remembered from her days as Marie Al-Ghul, it was how to fake pride and confidence. She straightened her shoulders automatically, lifted her chin, and pulled away from Damian’s supporting arm around her shoulder. Damian let her. 

A little bit of old resentment flared up in him as he saw Batman walk up close enough to comfortably talk with them. Resentment that he no longer held onto, but that had haunted him nearly every night of the first two years he spent with his dad. The realization that maybe his twin was the one that was meant to be a Wayne. Marie had the blue eyes, the compassion, the more specifically detective-oriented mind. The calm head. Sometimes. Marie was exactly who he imagined when he thought of a naturally born member of the BatClan. Stubborn, clever, morally just. She had risked immediate death just because she refused to fight him, for crying out loud. Because she didn’t want to hurt the boy who used to be her best friend. The only ally she had ever had, growing up. 

Meanwhile, he still had issues reigning in his anger sometimes. He had too much blood on his hands, he was more of a battlefield tactician than a long-term strategist. Still stubborn, but also completely unaware of the pain he brought others with his words or actions a lot of the time. He used to be such a rage fueled little demon, and thinking about how his sister fit the classic Wayne outline more thoroughly than he did had made him destroy more than a few practice dummies in frustration. 

But now, looking at Marinette trying so hard to appear strong and proud when he knew she was still so shattered inside, relief overpowered the old and dull resentment. This was what she needed, he could sense that easily. She, just like him all those years ago, needed Bruce and the others to start to heal her and reforge what the League had badly molded. 

“... Marinette, I suppose?” Damian nearly facepalmed at his father’s awkward attempt at a conversation starter. Marinette herself was clearly too keyed up and overthinking things to even register any amusement at the lame attempt, merely nodding with an overly serious expression on her face. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Monsieur Wayne. Or that’s my name nowadays, that is,” She stumbled a little in her response before clenching her fists and forcing herself to continue as calmly as she could muster up. “My birth name was Marie Al-Ghul.” 

Bruce’s eyebrows visibly furrowed underneath his cowl. “Was?” 

“I…” Marinette finally looked away, shame creeping back onto her face. “I was explicitly told that I was stripped of the Al-Ghul name and would be killed if I ever dared lay claim to it again. So I not-so-legally changed it. And I was later adopted.” 

Several sharp gasps or the hiss of breath through teeth bit through the quiet breeze. Nobody was necessarily surprised, Marinette could see it when she looked through her eyelashes and examined the winces and sympathy on the faces of the vigilantes before her. Batman’s shoulders were stiff, as if someone had paralyzed only his shoulder blades. 

“And the people who adopted you?” Batman pursued. Marinette couldn’t read his tone very well, but it sounded vaguely angry so she quickly raised her hands in a placating gesture and her eyes widened significantly. 

“They’ve been amazing! They don’t know anything about my past, or who raised me, but they are endlessly patient with me. I mean, honestly! Sabine caught me when I was trying to steal one of her gold bracelets in Hong Kong— and I know I’ve never been as good of a combatant as Dami, but I’ve always been better at sleight of hand and stealth so honestly that’s impressive— and she saw my dirty eight-year-old face and for some reason decided, ‘yeah I want this one as my daughter’ and roped Tom right into it and next thing I know they somehow tailed me to my hideout? I still don’t know how the hell they managed that, but Tom had a huge plate of steaming buns and I was so hungry and suddenly it’s two years later and I’m adopted and we’re on a plane to Paris—” Marinette threw up her hands. “I still don’t fully grasp what happened sometimes.” 

She belatedly seemed to realize that she had just gone on an entire breathless rant at the speed of sound, and slapped her hands over her mouth before lunging into a deep bow. “I apologize! I spoke horridly out of turn!” 

To her surprise though, she was met with a soft laugh instead of a scolding. She jerked in surprise, whipping her head up only to see Batman holding a hand over his chin to hide his large grin. It only took another second for the boys behind him to laugh a lot LESS softly. Nightwing strolled over casually and swung an arm around both her and Damian’s shoulders, playfully nudging her brother with his knee. 

“I think she fits right in, don’t you little D?” 

“Of course,” Damian scoffed, though his eyes were playful. “She is a Wayne by blood. She ‘fits in’ more than you strays.” 

“Dami!” Marinette whipped back to him and puffed out her cheeks. “That was uncalled for!” she barked. Damian held his hands up in surrender. 

“Relax,” he said as soothingly as he could manage. “They know I’m joking,” he dropped his hands and a knowing smirk took over his face. “And besides, now you’re relaxed so my plan worked,” Marinette could only blink at that. She… did feel more relaxed, actually. “Also. I told you you’d be accepted easily. They already consider you one of us.” 

“Wha— there’s no way—” she frantically looked at each of the older men around her, but each of them just shot her a smile or grin and a short nod. Her shoulders and jaw both fell, and it broke a little of everyone’s heart. 

Marinette looked so utterly shocked, bewildered to be accepted as if it was still something profoundly foreign to her. And there was that disbelief in her eyes, that distrust that screamed that she expected some sort of lie here. That told that she thought this would all crumble away at any second. If anyone had any reservations about bringing her into their inner circles, it vanished right that moment. She needed support, or she’d crumble away and they all knew it. 

“How about we start by talking about the situation with Hawkmoth?” Red Robin spoke up, walking forward to stand beside Batman. “I assume that’s a little more in your element?” 

Damian silently vowed to thank Tim later for that. In a silent, completely anonymous way of course. Couldn’t have Tim thinking they were friends or something now, could he? Marinette instantly straightened up and nodded, her confidence returning with a little more sincerity this time. 

“Yeah. Yeah, let me transform again. It’ll be easier to explain.” 

—*—*—*—*—*

It was three weeks later, on Marinette’s third now-weekly visit to the Batcave, when the question finally came up. Jason had asked to spar with Marinette for the first time, having seen her in action as Ladybug and wanting to test the girl when she didn’t have superpowers to rely on. Damian hadn’t been down in the cave to warn him, and the result was Jason’s gut sinking as Marinette scrambled as far away from him as she could, eyes wide and chest heaving in the beginnings of a panic attack. 

“Shit,” Jason muttered before he quickly knelt down and did his best to talk her down, to calm her until her breathing slowed and her pupils were back to normal. It wasn’t long afterwards that Marinette started hugging herself, refusing to look at him. But he wasn’t going to just back down, he wanted to solve this issue. If even the mere suggestion of a spar was enough to set her off, he needed to figure out why and fix it. 

So he carefully lowered himself so he was sitting only a foot away from her, resting his arms across his knees casually. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Didn’t think it would be a sore subject. That’s on me.” 

Marinette just shrugged, but didn’t answer him. She just buried her face in her arms and took a shaky breath. 

Jason let the silence linger for a while before trying again. “Does this have to do with certain Asshole Assassins?” 

That startled a slightly hysterical bark of laughter from her, and she had to wipe away a few tears when she raised her head and finally turned it in his direction slightly. Not enough for her to be looking at him,  but just a subtle turn to show that she was listening and speaking to him. “Yeah.” 

“You know, you never told us why you got disowned,” Jason tried to make his words as casual as possible, but wasn’t surprised when Marinette still stiffened and took a sharp breath. He didn’t push. The stage was set, and he’d wait until either she took the opportunity to open up or told him to leave well enough alone. Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips, and her foot tapped on the ground a bit. Clear signs of her anxiety around the subject, and Jason’s hopes vanished a little. He would probably have to wait longer for her to be ready to share.

But, to his pleasant surprise, he was wrong. She took another few minutes to gather her thoughts, but she did eventually open up to him. 

“I refused to fight Damian,” she admitted. “It was… We were seven. It wasn’t supposed to be a fight to the death, but it was a very important spar. We were using live weaponry, and we were told to fight until we couldn’t anymore. Whoever fell first would be relegated as a mere soldier, and have to fight for status like any other assassin in the League. The winner would officially be named as G— as Ra’s Heir. I didn’t want to fight, because I knew Damian would win but I also knew that it wouldn’t be as easy as Ra’s probably expected if I gave it my all like he wanted. I knew both Damian and I would be heavily injured if I did as he asked, and it wouldn’t be worth it. If I misjudged anything, any single hit, I could have accidentally injured Damian permanently and ruined his worth in Ra’s eyes, and that wasn’t an option. I didn’t care that throwing the fight was as good as giving up my life, because at least I could be sure that Damian kept his. I could make sure that he was treated well, or as well as anyone could hope for in the League anyway. I could, with only a few words, make sure he became indispensable. Ra’s and Talia never liked me as much as Damian anyway, I figured… I figured it was nobody’s loss,” She swallowed heavily, clenching her eyes shut. “I was always just the spare. The extra. Damian was their crown prince, the one with actual value. Even to me. I saw him, and I saw everything I wanted to be. I… I tossed down my weapons and let him stab me, because I figured I owed it to him for being such a failure in comparison to him. That I owed it to him to do everything I could to make things easier for him, since I was just an unnecessary obstacle—” strong arms wrapped around her, and she turned to sob into Jason’s chest as he just silently held her. 

“Idiot,” Damian whispered, making Marinette jump. Her twin sat only a few feet away, though only Jason would have known when exactly he had gotten there with them. He shook his head at her. “I never would have gotten as far as I did without you,” he whispered, looking up at the cave ceiling. “You were the only real rival I had. When you left, everything was either too easy or nearly impossible, nothing was the same as trying my best against someone who was just as good as me. And when I got here and met the others, I didn’t think any of them were worthy of taking your position, you know,” he scoffed a bit as he got lost in his memories. “That’s why I hated Tim for so long, I think. He reminded me of you so much that I wanted nothing more than to punch him for daring to replace you—”

“Heh, the Replacement twice over, huh?” Jason joked. Damian chuckled with a small eye roll. 

“Plus, he just has a really punchable face,” Damian added, trying to distract from the emotion behind everything he had just admitted. “Part of me thought you were dead. The other part refused to believe that. And seeing Tim and how some of his mannerisms were the same as yours,” Damian shrugged a little. “It stung. Especially that second year, when I started to regret that you never had the chance to come here and join them with me. Meet them with me.” 

Marinette sniffled. “... Who are you and what have you done with Dami? He’s never this sappy.” 

Damian flicked a pebble at her head with a good natured glare, successfully diffusing the serious air a little. Marinette wouldn’t ever be normal, and it would take a while before she was no longer fragile, but she could get there. Especially now that her bridges with her brother had been mended, and and a whole new family had cropped up to help support her. 

She was glad Damian had convinced her to try, again.  

[t4tozier]

autistic losers hcs!!

richie

-major stimmer, vocal and motor stims to the max

-doesn’t get overstimulated easily

-he actually prefers a lot of stimulation at once because it’s very easy for him to feel understimulated

-if it’s something that he doesn’t like though it’s easy to get overstimulated

-for example he doesn’t mind when all the losers are talking/stimming/doing something noisy at once because he feels safe and comfortable with them

-but if he’s at a family event and he’s got a lot of people crowding him and trying to touch and talk to him he’s not okay with that and he’ll have to go somewhere else

-music is one of his favorite stims and eddie is often concerned he’ll blow his eardrums out with how loudly he listens to it

-his favorite texture is denim so catch him rocking double denim way too often

-he wears a baggy denim jacket with patches and pins all over it and it makes him so happy it’s his main comfort object

-can hear fluorescent lights

-special interests in pokémon and five nights at freddy’s with smaller SpIns in computer mechanics and coding

-echolalia extreme

eddie

-sonia put him through ABA when he was younger so he’s still trying to unlearn a lot of the harmful things that he was forced to learn

-doesn’t stim and speaks very slowly because he’s trying to speak how he was taught

-richie and bev especially try to get him to let loose and stim bc they know it makes them feel so much better when they don’t have to mask but they can be insensitive sometimes without meaning to be

-bill understands how tough it can be to talk even though it’s for a different reason so he doesn’t pressure him

-sometimes though they can get him on one of his special interests and he’ll ramble and they all try really hard not to bring attention to it because they love when he does this but they don’t wanna make him self conscious

-sticks to a routine wherever he can

-special interests in vintage cars and medicine, specifically pediatric medicine

bev

- between ptsd and autism, she hates being touched

- which is very difficult for richie who stims by touching and being touched but he manages bc he would hate to make her upset

- she stims with loud music and wool

- she crochets little gifts to give the losers

- but for richie and eddie she sews little things out of silk or plush because neither of them can stand the texture of wool

- black and white thinking

- 0 filter

- happy stims to no end (when she's not at home and masking)

- loves to dance and flap/overall physically stim and isn't ashamed even though other ppl try to make her feel bad about it bc theyre assholes

bill

- nonverbal and it's usually by choice but sometimes involuntary

- uses a mix of sign language and communication cards to get by (and ofc the losers learn asl so they can talk to him even if it's more difficult for some of them)

- a lot of people think he's dumb because he never talks but he's very smart and writes beautifully

- writing for communication takes too long and he and the others all get impatient but he writes stories that he'll share with the others

- he'll have mike read most of them because he just has a voice that itches all their brains nicely

ben

-hyperempathetic

-echolalia and flaps but he’s not a huge motor stimmer

-he likes visually stimming

-red is his favorite color so he’s a big fan of making red stimboards

-very bad at making eye contact but he will stare

-also has to stick to routine

-cant hide his emotions whatsoever

-touch-averse if it’s anyone but the losers and even then it’s only sometimes

-has only a few safe foods so he eats a lot of mac and cheese, donuts, and applesauce

-SpIn in medieval architecture

stan

- incredibly routine-based and will have a full meltdown if you change any part of it without letting him know in advance

- doesn't vocal stim often but one of his favorites is imitating different bird calls

- will often get hebrew prayers stuck in his head and will sing softly under his breath and rock on his tiptoes as his 'idle animation'

- special interests in ornithology (obvi) and calculus

- his mom once found him reading a calculus textbook in eighth grade front to back and over again

- very smart but like bill, isn't very verbal so people often underestimate him

- refuses to make eye contact which is one of the only reasons he ever gets in trouble at school (dumb reason but yk those teachers)

- terrible issues with authority in that he cannot break rules so even though richie would love to take him on he and bev's 'adventures' (where they ditch class to go vape under the bleachers), he learned very quickly that that cannot happen

- has a little plushie of a robin that eddie found for him that he keeps in his backpack/whatever bag he has on him as a little comfort object, he rubs it when he's feeling stressed and it helps him relax

mike

- gets overstimulated by "weird" things

- he's been listening to loud machinery and the sounds of sheep and cows and chickens all making noises over each other since he could hear basically, so loud or overlapping noises don't bother him much

- but he doesn't do well with a lot of visual stimulation

- wears sunglasses and/or a hat pretty much whenever they go out because bright lights make him anxious and give him a headache

- sticks to neutral-colored clothing because bright colors also give him a headache

- richie has actually semi-accidentally stolen a lot of his sweatshirts and flannels by taking them to cover up because he Loves wearing bright colors both as a visual stim and just for fun

- his main special interest is d&d and he's roped all of the rest of them into playing with him

- also loves animal crossing

- physically stims by petting/playing with the animals

- will made a rope swing so that he can get his vestibular (?) stimming in too

[mochegato]

Capturing a Dream

Chapter 4 – Recovery

Chapter 1       Chapter 3

Conner’s fists were clenched so tightly they were past white, verging on translucent.  Everything about this day was terrible and it seemed to get worse with every passing hour. They had been invaded.  Their home had sustained significant damage and was no longer safe.  Red Tornado had betrayed them and the Justice League was cutting them out of the capture efforts.  Chimera had been hurt, she had almost died and he hadn’t been able to do anything about it.  

It had been hours since they had received an update on Chimera and she was alone in the Watchtower.  She was protected by the Justice League, but as they had just violently discovered, that didn’t mean she was safe.  Although one saving grace was that by being here, she had been saved experiencing the attack by Red Tornado.  From the description Aqualad had given on her status, he wasn’t sure she would have been able to survive it.

The Team needed to pull together right now.  They were the only ones they could trust and Chimera had been isolated from them. The rest of the Team had been busy freeing themselves, checking each other for injury, working with the Justice League to assess the damage to the Cave, figuring out how the Reds got into the Cave in the first place, figuring out where their security had let them down, and recovering from Red Tornado’s attack.  All of that meant that none of the Team had been able to be with her until now.  Kid Flash, Robin, and he had finally been able to come and check on Chimera and bring her back to the Cave with the rest of them, while Artemis and Aqualad stayed in the Cave and tried to figure out what needed to be done next.

Batman met the Team at the doors to the infirmary.  “I should warn you, I’ve given her quite a bit of pain medicine and I just woke her up for you so she could transform, so she’s a little out of it right now and honest… extremely honest.  Beware.”  Batman warned them wryly.

“Was she honest with you?” Robin asked with a smile.  He would pay to have heard what an unfiltered Chimera would say.

“Yes.” Batman answered, not looking at him.

“Care to share?” Kid Flash asked with a grin.

“No.” Batman responded turning to peek through the door to assure she was fully transformed before letting them in.

They made it through the door just in time to see Chimera fall as she tried to stand. Kid Flash was there to catch her before she hit the ground.  She looked at him slightly dazed, her movements sluggish.  “I know you, right?”  She concentrated harder on his face.  “Right?  We know each other.”

The Team gasped in fear and looked over to Batman for an explanation. Batman took a deep breath.  “She needs rest.  She doesn’t have a concussion, but her body has been through a lot.  Combined with the pain killers, like I said before, she’s a little out of it.  She should be fine after a rest.”

“No, it’s okay… it’s not… I just… I’m okay.  I just need to sleep… or to wake up… I’m not sure which.  This is… I’ve done this before… I think.” She slurred her words slightly as she tried to assure them.  She looked at Kid Flash with a guilty expression.  “I sometimes go too long without sleeping.”

Superboy moved over to her and picked her up, cradling her in his arms, holding her close enough to speak quietly to comfort her.  “Hey Chi, it’s okay.  We’ve got you.  You know us. You’re safe.  I won’t let anything happen to you.  You can sleep.”

She leaned her head back to study his face.  She smiled sleepily at him and ran her finger along his jaw.  “I definitely know you.”  Conner blushed deeply, but then balked at her next comment.  “You’re the flirty one.”

Robin came over to double check for signs of the concussion that Batman must have missed.  “Maybe she doesn’t recognize him after all.”

Chimera tried to turn over to him but stopped when she saw Kid Flash again. “No, wait… You’re the flirty one.” She tried to point in his direction.

“She may not recognize Superboy, but she definitely remembers Kid Flash.”  Robin smirked.

Chimera looked back and forth between the two boys a little too quickly and groaned in pain.  “You both are the flirty one.”  She pushed her head against Conner’s chest trying to alleviate the pain in her head and stop the spinning.

Batman nodded to someone behind them and stepped forward.  “Since you guys are here I’ll let you know now.  Green Arrow and Black Canary have already discussed this with Aqualad and Artemis while you have been here.  With Red Tornado… missing, the Team will now be overseen by rotating supervisors.  Captain Marvel has volunteered to take the first shift.”

Superboy turned around to see a man larger than Batman walking toward them next to Superman.  “I’m really looking forward to hanging with you guys.” Captain Marvel said with a smile.

Superboy scowled at them and adjusted Chimera slightly.  She turned to face the newcomers.  She quirked her head at Captain Marvel and concentrated on him for a few moments.  “Who’s the kid?”  Captain Marvel’s eyes widened in surprise.  “Oh no.  Do I know you too?  I’m sorry. It’s been a… day.  Night?  Day…  I think.”  She scrunched her face trying to figure out what general part of the day they were in.

“I’m not a kid!” Captain Marvel exclaimed a little too loudly.

Chimera snorted at him.  “Whatever you say, kid.” She settled her head back on Superboy’s shoulder and closed her eyes.  “It’s really bright in here.”

“We’re going home now, I promise.” Superboy said quietly.  She hummed in response and curled into him a bit more.

“It’s going to be a short visit.  I have a new mission for you.” Batman unceremoniously informed them.

“Chimera can’t go on a mission right now.” Superboy said lowly.  “And I’m not leaving her alone in the Cave.”

“Someone will be there to watch over her.” Batman assured him.

Kid Flash scoffed and shared a dubious look with Robin and Superboy.  “Another Justice League member?  No, thanks.” Superboy argued.

“It’s normal to be paranoid after an experience like this.  There’s a lot of new things you don’t know how to process yet.  Perhaps if you let her stay here in the Watchtower, you can feel more secure.” Superman offered awkwardly.  

“It isn’t the Cave I don’t trust.” Conner narrowed his eyes at Superman.

“I understand wanting to keep her close.  Your team means a lot to you and you guys weren’t able to keep her safe. It’s natural to overcorrect to overprotective and suspicious.  But I can assure you she would be safe here.”  Superman tried instead.

“Excuse me?” Kid Flash demanded angrily.  Robin and Superboy scowled in anger next to him.

“You all assured us we would be safe in the Cave as well, and that Red Tornado was trustworthy.  Your assurance doesn’t mean anything to us.” Superboy hissed at him.

“Black Canary will stay with her at the Cave while you guys are on the mission.” Batman assured him.  “She trusted Black Canary with her identity.  You should trust her too.”

“Did she trust her or did you tell Black Canary and Chimera had to accept it?” Robin asked skeptically.

“Regardless, she accepts it and trusts her.  Her identity is more important to her than almost anything else.  If she trusts Black Canary that much, you should too.” Batman answered coldly.

Superboy stared at him unsettled.  His whole body tensing.  They were trying to distract them from what was going on, from what they let happen. It had ripped the Team’s lives apart and the Justice League wasn’t going to let them react, was blaming them for allowing it to happen.

Chimera furrowed her brow sensing a shift in his body and temperament.  She looked up at Superboy and followed his eye line. She blinked a few times at Superman before speaking.  “Oh hey, it’s the Boy Scout.”  She turned back to look at Superboy.  “Look Conner, it’s the cold bastard.”  She leaned her head back on Superboy’s shoulder before realizing what she said. She popped her head back up once she realized.  “Oh my God! I remembered your name!”  She smiled at him, proud of her accomplishment. “I usually can’t remember names until after I sleep.”

Kid Flash and Robin started laughing hysterically.  She frowned at Kid Flash and tried vaguely to figure out where the rest of the laughter was coming from or was it just her ears playing tricks on her and figure out why he, or they, were laughing.  They only stopped laughing when Batman walked next to Superman and glared at them.  But the glare only reduced the laughter instead of eliminating it.

After a few moments Chimera’s eyes widened in mortification as she realized what she had said just after Conner’s name.  “Boy Scout!” she exclaimed loudly looking at Superman apologetically, or trying to, and trying to sit up straighter in Superboy’s arms.  “I meant to say the Boy Scout.” She cringed and tried to hide her face in Superboy’s neck, but still mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear, “I mean, not that I was wrong. I just didn’t mean to say it out loud.”

She looked up again when she heard raucous laughter coming from all around her. She looked slowly from Superboy to Kid Flash to Batman to Superman to Robin.  “Why are all the people I work with either incorrigible flirts or cold bastards?” she asked nobody in particular.  “At some point that says something about me, doesn’t it?  Is there something wrong with me?”  She looked up to Superboy as she said the last part.

Superboy smirked at Superman and held Chimera tighter against his chest as he turned and made his way with the Team to the zeta tubes.  She burrowed deeper into his arms and started to fall asleep to the rhythm of his walk.  Just before she fell asleep he leaned down to whisper into her ear.  “There is nothing wrong with you.  Other than working yourself so hard that you forgot our names, you are absolutely perfect.  You’re doing everything right.  I’m proud of you.”  She smiled peacefully as she fell asleep.

<><><><><> 

“So this is where you are.” Chimera called out to Conner after she finally found him sitting on the rocks outside the Cave.  He was staring out at the last bits of light reflecting off the ocean with an angry concentration.  “I don’t think I would have found you without this little chiot’s help.”  She smiled at the wolf and ran her hands through his fur. “I guess ‘little’ isn’t really accurate, is it?  He’s bigger than me.  How was the mission?”  He grunted but kept looking out at the water.  She gave him a concerned look and moved closer to him.  “Conner?” She asked carefully.

“You shouldn’t have gone in to wherever it is you go.  You’re still recovering.  It was stupid, Chimera.”  He growled at her, refusing to look at her.  “Stupid and dangerous.”

She looked at him in surprise at his tone.  “Ah.” She started delicately, looking around awkwardly trying to figure out if she should approach him or let him continue to brood alone.  Brooding is best done alone, after all.  

She hadn’t gotten a report on the mission they had just returned from yet, so she wasn’t sure how bad it had been.  She had rushed to find him as soon as she got back to the Cave after the showing and clean up.  She had stayed for enough of the celebrations to satisfy her supervisors then rushed home. But it appeared that whatever did happen on the mission, it had taken a severe toll on Conner.  He was in a significantly angrier mood than usual.  She wasn’t sure if he wanted to sit alone, sit quietly with someone, or talk through the anger.  

“What do you think, mon petit chiot?” she whispered barely loudly enough to be heard over the tide washing in.  “Stay or leave?  What should I do?”  Wolf whined and bumped gently into her.  She smiled gently at him and patted him reassuringly.  She turned back to Conner and approached him slowly like he might explode at any moment.  She decided to see if he wanted to talk.  If he didn’t, she could always back off.  She started by trying to lighten the suffocating, dark mood.  “Is it okay if I sit and glare at the sunset too?”

He sent her a devastating glare that caught her completely off guard.  She stumbled back a half step in surprise, backing into Wolf.  Conner stood up and stalked toward her as he roared in anger at her.  “Why did you bother coming back to the Cave to recover with people you trust, people who can keep you safe while you recover, if you were just going to leave immediately?  What is the point of helping you recover if you’re just going to go out immediately and make yourself worse?  Run yourself into the ground… again? And what happens if we get attacked again?  What happens if Red Tornado comes back and tries to finish the job his siblings started and you’re too tired to fight?  Then you die, or we die trying to save you.”

She reeled back like he struck her, staring in shock at the seething mass of teenage boy in front of her.  Wolf moved closer to her and angled himself so he was slightly in front of her, keeping his eyes on Conner.  

As soon as the words left his mouth, Conner wanted to take them back.  The look of betrayal and hurt in her eyes was heartbreaking.  She hadn’t even looked that betrayed when she found out Red Tornado actually did betray them. But now, at his words, she looked absolutely devastated.

Wolf nudged her lightly and whined quietly.  The nudge was enough to wake Chimera out of her stupor.  “Don’t. Do. That.” She scolded Conner suddenly, slapping his arms and chest punctuating each word.  “You. Are. Large. And. Intimidating. And. You. Scared. Me. You. Big. Broody. Jerk.” She huffed at him with one final slap.

He made a show of protecting himself from the hits that were barely hard enough to even gain his attention regularly.  He stared at her in shock, eyeing her cautiously, waiting for her to start up again.  When he decided she was done, he frowned guiltily and looked over to Wolf, scratching behind his ears to reassure him.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” he said quietly, darting his eyes over to her.  The dejected frown she had didn’t suit her at all. He needed to figure out a way to put a smile back on her face.  He watched her quietly for a few moments while they both pet Wolf.  A smirk suddenly appeared on his face.  “I just forget how small you are sometimes.”

She glared at him, “That is not how you apologize!”  

He chuckled at the pout she sent him.  “Sorry.” He repeated more seriously this time.

She pet Wolf as well for a few moments.  “What is his name?  We haven’t been properly introduced yet.”  Her tone was still guarded, but soft.

“Wolf. It’s okay that I brought him home, isn’t it?” he suddenly realized he hadn’t asked her before bringing a new and massive creature into the home they shared.  “I should have asked before… but I thought you were sleeping.” There was a sharper edge to his last comment.

She looked at him with a touch of guilt.  “Yeah, it’s okay.  I’ve always wanted a pet but I was never allowed to have one before.” She answered quietly.  She looked down and pet Wolf quietly for a few moments, giving her anxiety something to focus on.  After a few moments she spoke up again, “I had to go today.  This is…”

“Yeah, yeah, an important time of year.  You said that already.”  He grumbled, glaring at Wolf’s fur as he pet it.  He didn’t want to look in her eyes and see the betrayed look again, but he also couldn’t stop from reprimanding her.  “You’re hurt.  You could have died in that attack.  You can skip a few days while you heal from almost dying, Chi.” He finally looked up to shoot a glare at Chimera who seemed to wilt under his glare.  “You didn’t even come home at all last night.  We got here this morning to check on you, to make sure you were okay, and you were gone.”  Wolf whimpered quietly at him and nudged against him.  Conner looked over to Wolf for a moment and frowned in annoyance at his interruption.  He looked over to Chimera and sighed at the conflicted, guilt-stricken look on her face.

“… the reason I can be here.  I couldn’t skip today.  Today was the culmination of months of work, not just mine.  I skip, I not only lose out on seeing everything come together, I let down that team, and I get fired.  I get fired, I go home.  I go home, I’m not only no longer part of the Team, I’ve lost my career.  The only reason I haven’t been fired already for missing two days ago is because Batman somehow talked Bruce Wayne into calling my boss and vouching for me personally and promising to appear at… and promising to give them some Wayne Enterprises support.  Apparently, it took promising to get Oliver Queen to agree to… to promise Queen Industries support as well in order to get them not to fire me.” She said defiantly but tears she refused to shed were still lining her eyes.  She subconsciously leaned into Wolf for support.

Conner huffed and looked down at his feet.  “It’s not worth your life.” He grumbled.  He wasn’t trying to make her feel worse but she needed to stop, to pull back, to heal.  She had pushed herself too hard because of them, for them.  And she was still pushing herself.  She was going to push herself into a grave because of him.  He couldn’t save her during the attack and clearly, he couldn’t save her from this either.

She followed his lead and looked down for a few moments as well trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.  She absentmindedly pet Wolf as she processed what was happening.  He wasn’t mad at her, not really.  She knew that.  He wasn’t mad, he was scared.  But it still hurt and that was worse.  Things were spiraling out of his control and he needed something he could rely on. She was only making things worse by having to leave.  She was hurting the Team by not being able to devote her full attention.  She was hurting him by splitting her focus.  She had stayed in the Cave so she could help him, give him someone who was there for him, but she wasn’t and she was hurting him instead.

“I’m sorry I scared you.  I wasn’t risking my life.  It’s chaotic, yes, but it’s a chaos I understand.  It’s a chaos that soothes me.  I know my place in that chaos.  But it’s over now.  I have the rest of the week off and I can stay in bed and relax.  Not even school.”  She gave him a strained smile.  “I’m sorry it was making things worse for you.  I’m sorry I’m making things worse for you.” Damn it, she berated herself.  That wasn’t what she wanted to say.  This wasn’t about her.  It was about him.

Conner’s heart dropped.  Damn it, he berated himself.  He made her think she was hurting him.  That wasn’t what he wanted to do.  He was making it about himself, but it wasn’t about him.  It was about her.  He reached out to comfort her but hesitated.  He didn’t know how welcome it would be.  After yelling at her just a minute ago, she might not feel comfortable with him hugging her.  He winced internally thinking about how he treated her as soon as he saw her tonight.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.  I didn’t have the right to… I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was angry with you.  Like you were doing something wrong.  You’re not.  I mean, I do think you push yourself too hard, but you’re not making things worse. You make them better.  You’re amazing.” He blushed when he realized what he said and grasped for something to change the topic.  “I mean the way you talked to Superman was amazing.”

Chimera barked out a laugh and hid her face in her hands in embarrassment.  “I can’t believe I called Superman and Batman cold bastards.  Well, Superman more than Batman.  I’m sure Batman has heard it lots of times before… and I’m pretty sure I said more devastating things before I fell asleep in the infirmary.  But, it was probably new information for Superman.”

Conner hummed in agreement.  He sat down and leaned back against the cliff, looking out to the ocean, not wanting to discuss Superman anymore, despite him being the one to bring it up in the first place.  Chimera sat on the ground next to him, stretching out her legs and watching the tide wet the sand in front of her.  She burst out laughing when Wolf laid on her legs.  “Conner!  Help me!” she managed to squeak out between laughter.  “I can’t move.”  Conner laughed and gave Wolf a gentle shove to get him to move.  Wolf made a dissatisfied grunt but moved off of her and next to Conner.

They looked out to the ocean in a contented silence, watching the last bits of light glitter on the distant waves.  After a while Chimera spoke up, still keeping her eyes on the water. “Did you know Kaldur and I had to stop Superman from making the entire situation worse?  He wanted to rush into the Cave with no idea what to do then.  Like his very presence would be enough to end it.  All brawn and no plan.  Idiot.” She scoffed.  “Luckily, Batman backed us up or he would have rushed in and gotten you killed.”

Conner scowled and growled.  “He blamed us for what happened, like we didn’t react the way we should have, like I let it happen, and the whole time he would have made it worse.”  He balled his hands into fists, his hands shaking in anger. He turned to punch the cliff side then did it again and again.

“Conner!”  Chimera gently touched his arm, careful to stay out of the punch arc.  He turned to her with wild, angry eyes that softened as soon as he saw her.  “Please stop. You’re going to hurt your hand or cause a rockslide.”

He hung his head with a huff and sat back down.  “You’re lecturing me about doing things that hurt myself now?”

She shrugged taking his hand to examine it for injury.  “I guess there’s a reason we get along so well.  We can keep each other’s self-destructive tendencies in check.”

Chimera sat close enough that their bodies were touching, still holding his hand, running her thumb over his knuckles to soothe them.  After a few minutes she bumped her shoulder into his. “You know, if you ever want to talk, I’m here.  I have a few other good friends with terrible… authority figures in their lives. Authorities that barely acknowledge them let alone give them the respect and love they deserve.”

He considered her words for a while, keeping his eyes on the horizon.  “Must be nice for you… having authority figures that support you and don’t critique every move you make as a hero.” He said bitterly.  

She scoffed.  “I’d hardly call Batman supportive.  Plus, I’m pretty sure I told him I thought turning out like him was a fate worse than death.  So he’s probably even less likely to be supportive now.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.  “Interesting.  But I meant your parents.”

“Oh.”  Her smile faltered and she let go of his hand as she looked away and hummed in agreement.

“Chimera?” He prompted her.  He squeezed his now free hand.  It felt strange on its own.

“Yes?” She asked innocently.

“If you want me to talk, you have to too.”  He gave her a pointed look.

She scowled playfully at him and looked back out to the ocean.  “I don’t like your rules.”  He chuckled at her and stayed quiet, allowing her to get her thoughts in order.  “My parents are extremely supportive of me. Extremely.” She started tentatively.

“But…” He urged her.

“But they don’t know… about this.” She sighed. “They don’t know I’m a hero.  They don’t know I fight villains.  Nobody can know, remember?  That includes parents.”

“Your parents don’t know?” He furrowed his brow at the thought of her parents somehow not noticing her missing during crises and not having anyone to support her.  “Where do they think you go?”  He looked at her incredulously.

“They don’t.  They think I’m in my room, or hiding during attacks.  Right now they think I’m at an internship in America, which I am, that’s why I can’t always be here, that and school, but...”  She turned away with a guilty look.  “God, I hate lying to them.”

He furrowed his brow and frowned at her. “So who supports you?”

She smiled up at him with a coy glint in her eyes, like he had fallen into a trap.  “My team did, as much as they could without knowing my identity.  That’s what teams are for, supporting each other, helping each other.  You’re on my team, so I’m here to support you, if you want.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and looked away. “I see what you did there.”  He looked out over the water again, watching the tide ebbing and flowing.  “I was right there with you… all, the Team, and let you get captured.  I couldn’t save you or the team.  I wasn’t good enough to.  I’m not good enough.  What am I even doing here?”  

“Hey,” she chided him gently, “Wally didn’t save me either.  Do you think he’s not good enough?  That he doesn’t belong here?  Kaldur didn’t save me.  He helped me but he didn’t stop it either.  Is he not good enough to be here?  Do only Artemis and Robin deserve to be here?”

“No,” he grumbled.

“You need to give yourself a break.  You are amazing.  You can do amazing things.  But we’re a team.  We rely on each other sometimes.”  She gave him a soft smile.  “Sometimes you have to just let us save you and not take that as a fault.”

He turned away, blushing slightly.  After a few moments in silence he punched the ground in front of him.  “What does it matter?  He’s never going to accept me or treat me as an equal anyway.”

She paused while she thought about it.  ���I think he will.  He’s scared and unsure right now but he will eventually get over himself.  But however long it takes, it’s on him.  It is a sign of his inability to process his emotions in a healthy way.  It has absolutely nothing to do with your worth or skills. It says nothing about your value.”

“That’s not how it seems.” He grumbled into the sand.

“Yeah.  I get that.” She nodded in agreement.  “The downside of being the offspring of an idiot.”

He laughed at that and leaned in conspiratorially. “I believe the official term is ‘cold bastard’.”

She groaned and hid her face in his shoulder. She turned her head to rest it on his shoulder and look out at the crests of the waves in the moonlight.  “What people say about us can affect us.  It can hurt, especially family because we’re supposed to have a stronger connection to them than anyone else.  But he doesn’t.  He doesn’t know you better than we do.  He doesn’t have better insights.  He isn’t your family.  We are. And we say you are more than enough. You are amazing.”  She hugged his arm.

“You’re my family?” Look at her hesitantly.

“Found Family, baby.  One of the best tropes.” She grinned widely at him.

“Tropes?” He looked at her questioningly.

“Found family, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, and they were roommates. All good.”  She nodded with a smile.  “I highly recommend them… well maybe not to you.  But to other members of our family.”

Conner slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into a side hug.  “I like this family.”  He gave a small smile as he leaned his head on hers.  He frowned suddenly when a thought occurred to him.  “But, found family rules aren’t the same as regular family are they?  Because I don’t think… Wally wouldn’t appreciate that.”

Chimera giggled at the thought.  “No, no he wouldn’t.  How long do you think before he and Artemis start dating?”

“You think they’ll date?”  He pulled back and looked at her like she was crazy.  “They hate each other.”

“Oh God, yes they will.  That tension has nowhere to go but on a date.  I give it a month.”  She laughed. Her laughter quieted after a few moments and she moved further into Conner’s embrace.  “Found family is about loving and supporting each other no matter what.  Understanding we all have problems and helping each other deal with them and loving each other in spite of them.  You can definitely date within a group that offers you that.” She confirmed, circling back to his original question.  “Most people do.” She added quietly.

He looked at her softly and laid his head back on hers watching the stars twinkle on the ocean surface like a distant, enticing dream.  “Good to know.”

 Tags:

@mickylikesstuff​ @mystery-5-5​ @roguishredaxion​ @vroomtaka​ @laurcad123 ​​ @just-an-observer-ignore-me​ @emimar7​ @moonlightstar64​  @maribat-writing-and-prompts​ @aespades​ @yokomisaki​ @glastwime859​ @mysticknown​ @fan-written @stackofrandomstuff @jalaluvsu @ultimatetornshipper @charme-de-malchan @lozzybowe @kaithehero

[teentitwns]

soooo, as you know i wrote some bbrae fanfictions and, this one, especifically, called “all you had to do was stay” (yes, taylor swift’s song) was published in 2017 but i deleted after sometime because im little lazy and the history always seems easily in my mind.

anyway! i decided to rewrite this fanfiction and the first chapter is already posted on the brazilian website that i use (spirit fanfics), so why not put in here too?

please, remember that im brazilian and my english is a little broken - sorry for the mistakes you’ll find on the text.

well, thats it. im really nervous right now and insecure. i hope you like it and, maybe, i can post the fanfiction on ao3 or another website.

_______________

The protective dome around Raven was totally useless and, like her friends, she knew it.

She was there, standing in the middle of the contraption built by Cyborg, with all her vital signs being recorded on the computers that occupied a large part of the room, beeping together with the devices that showed her brain waves.

Everything had been perfectly assembled and positioned so that she had the best protection that anyone could have in the face of what was about to happen, but all those technological tools made her feel like a laboratory rat, studied in vain to discover that in the end the experience had gone wrong again.

She sighed loudly and propped her elbows on her knees, resting her face in one hand; she no longer cared about floating.

She felt physically and mentally drained to use her powers in something as unnecessary as floating, and she didn't need to be inches from the ground at that moment.

In fact, it was better to have contact with the earth, with the concrete floor. At least she would be sure that she was still alive, that the world was fine and whole.

Raven let out a loud snort and huffed impatiently, her eyes roaming the room until they found the door, waiting, miraculously, for one of the other Titans to enter. She had been inside that dome for hours and she couldn't take it anymore - loneliness was good when chosen willingly, not out of obligation.

To her despair, in addition to the blatant private prison that was happening there, the kidnapping, or anything else of that level, the situation made terrible flashbacks go through her head, making her remember Slade, the brand of Scath , the end of the world and, consequently, Trigon.

Why did everything have to be so similar? It seemed that karma was acting exactly the same as it had on her sixteenth birthday, creating a tedious and scary looping. She never considered herself a fan of automatic repetitions anyway.

Unconsciously, she took her left hand into the pocket of her midnight blue cloak in hopes of finding a specific object inside it, but this time, she had no lucky coin to cling to and consider as an amulet. She was alone, forgotten, practically left to die, just as she should have been two years ago, on the fateful day when Trigon’s Prophecy almost came true.

The empath, a “witch” as many called her, allowed herself to laugh with mockery. She hated feeling sorry for her own tragic life, but she couldn't escape the pitiful thoughts she was having. She probably didn't think differently from what her friends had in mind - she was just a poor girl, victim of circumstances, who was not to blame for being the fruit of the forbidden, unhealthy relationship between a human and an interdimensional demon. She was not to blame for being “Daddy's darling”, the one chosen to bring him to Earth for the second time, since she was a poorly raised daughter and prevented him the first time.

Now, at eighteen, she wouldn't be as lucky as she was at sixteen.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos…”, she closed her eyes and started to meditate, with nothing else to do. “Azarath Metrion Zinthos…”

“Raven!"

She opened her eyes with a start, facing Beast Boy. Awkwardly, he spread his hands on the thick glass of the dome, breathing heavily.

“Great.", She thought. “Of all the people that Robin could send, he chose the most restless."

" What are you doing here?", she asked.

“Dude, isn't it obvious? We’re doing it wrong! ”, Beast Boy waved his hands compulsively. “I mean, it's your father! There is no one better to stop him than you!”

“If I leave here it will be easier to get to Earth."

“I really don't want to be pessimistic, but he's already here, mama."

“Beast Boy..."

“It worked last time, didn't it? What good will it do you to be stuck in that dome? The world will end anyway!”

“Weren't you the one who was upbeat until two seconds ago?"

“I still am!"

“Does Robin know you're here?"

“…yes."

“I don’t believe that."

“Of course I told him,", the shapeshifter scratched the back of his head, causing his newly acquired muscles to start filling his uniform to appear. “I just don't know if he paid attention.”, He gave a nervous smile.

“It doesn't count as a warning."

“Have you never been told that what counts is the intention?"

Raven rolled her eyes and uncrossed her legs, standing up. She walked over to where Beast Boy was, touching the dome with her fingertips. He smiled broadly, running to the nearest computer and typing in the code that would free her.

When the dome barriers disappeared, Raven adjusted the hood on her head, thinking about the possibilities that surrounded her. Beast Boy was right, after all. Trigon was already on Earth, like the first time, and she would not be of much help if she were trapped, safe and sound, while her friends killed themselves to save the world.

“I knew you'd be up for it!" He celebrated, approaching her.

“It wasn't your worst idea."

“I'm smart, you underestimate me too much."

“I must have my reasons for that, right?

“Taking into account my discussions about tofu being the best food in the world can’t be considered as a reason.”

“No?”

“We all have our childish moments.”

“And you have your adult moments.”, she said.

“Nothing for having released you, I’m at your service.

“Where are they?”

“Downtown.”

“Excellent.”

“Raven”, Beast Boy called her when she started to leave. “Are you ready to go?”

“You don’t?”

“It's just… You have nothing to bring you luck.”

“I don't believe in luck.”, she lied, ignoring the thought that she had been wishing for a lucky charm a few minutes ago.

“Why not?”

“I make my own luck.”

“But it's always good to have help, isn't it?”

“Come on, Beast Boy.”

He shook his head negatively and approached her, holding her arm firmly and preventing her from getting away. The difference in height between them remained almost nil, with Raven looking a little taller from a distance because of the hood.

She frowned and looked at him without understanding, trying to pull her arm out of his grip, uncomfortable with the position they were in.

“It's just…”, Beast Boy started to speak. “I shouldn't be here and I know it. You are always so focused and correct that you even embarrass me for acting that way, but, last time, you had the coin I gave you and we won.

“I don’t know where it is.”, Raven lied, lowering her head to hide the blush on her cheeks. Some of her emotions were manifested in Nevermore, reminding her of the small passion she held for him. Passion, that, that she was sure that she would never be reciprocated. He was not a philanderer, he had never dated anyone after Terra, but he was not unaware of love affairs like her. She had a little more experience, even though she was also small. “We can't keep others waiting.”

“I can't let you go without an amulet.”

“There is no such thing as luck, Beast Boy! How many times have I told you that we need to run after what we want?”

“Many.”

“And none of them fixed on your brain?”

“Apparently no.”

“I should have imagined.”

“Why can't you give me a credit?”

“You are acting like a child who believes in Santa Claus.”

“And you're being cruel to me.”, he complained. “I thought you stopped that a while ago.”

“I stopped. Are we going to battle or not?”, Raven asked impatiently. “The world is about to end!”

“I know!”

“Then let me go!”

“I can't let you leave here without an amulet!”

“So give me this shit!”

Raven's words echoed around the room, and Beast Boy smirked, as if he had been waiting for this ever since they started arguing.

Such nonsense fights and quick discussions were not new to them, who were used to being awkward a few times a day, always for stupid reasons. However, that time, the shapeshifter had a purpose and, knowing that Raven would play the game, he put his idea into practice, which ended up working very well, thank you.

Raven shook her head and shrugged, silently asking if he wouldn't give her anything. She was waiting for a frog charm or other coin, but all she received was a warm kiss on the mouth, which made her blow up the nearest computer monitor.

The touch of Beast Boy's lips on his made her close her eyes instantly, her body and mind embracing the fact that she wanted that kiss - she had even been waiting for him for a long time, having fantasized the moment several times in the stillness of his. room.

On the other hand, Beast Boy didn't explode at all, but he felt his whole body vibrating. Her cheeks were as flushed as Raven’s, and it had taken him a long time to have the courage to kiss her.

The kiss could not be considered "worthy of a movie" because the two were too tense to give themselves up completely. They did not know where to put their hands and neither should they do it; A light in their heads blinked incessantly, reminding them that the world was ending while they were kissing, and billions of people were at risk.

It could be considered an ordinary kiss, but for Raven and Beast Boy, it meant much more than that.

They separate after a few seconds, unable to exchange a direct look. Beast Boy cleared his throat and Raven clung more tightly to her cloak, almost disappearing inside it.

“Raven”, Beast Boy smiled, making her look him in the eye quickly. Without breaking eye contact, he simply stuck a five-cent coin in her hand. Like old times. “Good luck.”

—————————————-

ok, i had no idea that the text would lose the diagramming!!! i wrote this on my iphone notes, sorryyyy

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Tamara Fox, Some OC for cuteness Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Sickfic, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Crying, so much crying, Love Confessions, Cheesy, God it's so cheesy, Cringe, So sweet so cheesy so angsty that you'll cringe, Tim Drake-centric, some Jason POV tho, A wild X-men appereance, I know they're not the same universe but I'm running out of character and running out of creativity, So yeah X-men characters and vaugly their mansion/orphanage too, Bruce Wayne Bashing, Some things that I don't put down bcs it'll be a spoiler, Smoking, Implied/Referenced Sex, POV from a cat????, The Clichést Cliché that ever Cliché, Cliche Summary:

They meet again on a rooftop after ten years. They're different now, and things are not the same. It's all too late. Chapter 1 sneakpeek

“Don’t jump.”

Sighing exasperatedly, Tim puts down his cigarette-clutching fingers and drags his eyes to the source of the voice. His gelled-back hair loses its hold and a strand of ear-length bangs falls to his vision.

Sadly, without seeing him and just from the voice, Tim knows exactly who this person is. One of the Bat franchise, and it just had to be the Red Hood variation, fucking great. Out of all time, it has to be tonight. The world is playing a joke on him.

Tim is sitting hunched on the rooftop’s edge, wishing he’d have some peace and quiet for once, and of course one of these pestering bats just has to bug him at the worst time. Yet, it’s actually pretty rare for Red Hood to patrol Gotham lately, and Tim curses up a storm in his mind. Out of all the days, it just has to be fucking tonight.

No, Tim is not having it.

“This man has too much to do tomorrow to jump.” Tim looks away, getting a light from his suit.

One hand lighting another one of his death stick, and the other unbuttoning his suit and loosens his tie. After a puff and two, Tim drags in and keeps the smoke in, letting his nerves uncoil. Seems like it doesn’t work that well when the big bad shadow of a vigilante doesn’t move from the corner of his eyes.

“I’m not jumping, go away, I can’t deal with you tonight,” Tim says as he sighs the smoke away to the red polluted sky, thinking the man must be deaf or just not convinced. Maybe the latter, the bats are famous for their tact after all. People say they’re purely human. Seeing Red hood’s physique, maybe this one becomes meta-human at some point.

Tim looks the other way so the vigilante is completely out of his vision, to make a point that he’s not having this conversation. He looks to the city, engulfed by the red sky. It’s bright since this building is at the heart of the city, where the higher caste of Gothamites live and prosper. You can see the border around the bright side of the city where the lights stop dead and darkness begins. The poor side of the city. The gap is ghastly, it’s what makes Gotham what it is.

Tim is not surprised but highly disappointed when he hears shuffling instead, and when he looks at where the tall brick wall of a man, he already sits down next to him. Red Hood keeps a respectable distance though, at least he has that much of a tact.

Red Hood hooks his fingers inside his helmet, does some finger shimmy, and the red shiny mask helmet is off. His face is still covered by a domino mask, his hair looks damp, and his gloved hands rake his jet black hair back. Curls bounce to his forehead, sighing a fog, the only indication that the weather is reaching the end of the year. In turn, Tim felt his cleanly shaved nape chilled.

From inside the leather jacket, the vigilante digs to look for something, and that’s when Tim realized he’s been looking at the cuts on Red Hood’s exposed forearms from the folded sleeves. Very thick and muscled forearms. This guy either lifts all day or a meta-human, not that Tim cares anymore.

“Got a light?” Red says, plush lips smirking.

Tim sighs, guess he has company today. He digs into his suit and throws him his lighter. The masked man inspects it and Tim rolls his eyes. The lighter is a metal one that you flip, and on it engraved ‘From my heart with love, that this one lasts longer, Tam.’

“A sweetheart of yours?” Says the man, the second sentence he speaks, and Tim doesn’t recognize the voice. Deep, gravely, the typical voice of someone that smokes.

Red Hood extends his hand to give back the lighter to Tim instead of throwing it, must’ve thought it’s special.

“Kind of,” Tim says, receiving the lighter.

Red Hood drags in, keeps the smoke in, “Why kind of?” and sighs.

“Never established the relationship.”

“Commitment issues?”

Tim quirks an eyebrow at the man, sitting just as hunched as him. There’s a pillar beside Tim, and he lays his back there, thinking whether or not he should engage in this conversation. Eh, why not right? It’s not like it’s confidential information, and Tim is just so tired of caring about social politics.

“I was too late,” Tim says. It’s not as painful to say now, but lately, Tim has been numb. He’s been numb for years. Tim’s gay, or so he thought. When he began to really love her, she’s gone from him.

“Girl got another guy?” Red Hood teases.

“Girl got dead,” Tim deadpans. The smile dropped from the vigilante’s mouth, and if only he can see his eyes, panic would look funny on the all-powerful Bat. But, no, Tim can see his tell by the tapping hands.

“Ah fuck, sorry.”

Tim chuckles at the spectacle of an awkward vigilante. Maybe this night won’t be so bad after all.

“Relax, I’m not too sad about it now, it was years ago.”

It’s hard to predict Red’s expression with that domino mask that takes his cheekbones and half his forehead, but Tim’s pretty sure the twist on that mouth means his opinion of Tim isn’t good. Well, not that Tim cares.

“How did she die?”

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Tim put the filter on his lips and drags in as deep as he can. Too deep, and Tim coughs hard, once and twice that his vision blurs. Her face comes to vision, the morbidity of her expression tips Tim’s nerves off balance. Tim quickly takes another deep drag, “She was in the Joker’s way.”

At the name, Red Hood snaps his face at Tim. Slowly, languidly, Tim looks back. The vigilante clenched jaw and balled fists look like he’s about to kill somebody. Tim knows that a few years ago Red Hood kidnapped Joker, didn’t kill him, and just vanished before popping up again to have a vendetta against Batman. What a load of drama those bunch.

This also means that Tim knows exactly who this person is. Suddenly the voice registers, the familiar jaw, the soft fucking tone.

He blames it on the nicotine that his heart is calmer than he’d like, his mind still not on overdrive, still plagued with Tam’s face as she died in front of him. He’d breathe smoke instead of oxygen if he could. God he wished he’d breathe smoke from now on. Why does it have to be today? One grace from the universe is that Tim -for some reason- feels amused instead of dread.

“You look like you’re about to kill somebody, Red,” Tim says, can’t help the ease and sass in his voice. Tim lays back hunched, crosses his legs. “I thought you let go of your vendetta against the Joker.”

“Where do you hear that bullshit?” Redhood snaps and Tim can’t help but let go another chuckle.

“People talk, words get around,” Tim says.

“Then they’re far off the truth,” Red hisses before dragging in his cig.

“Yet the Joker still roams.”

“Ain’t my call.”

“Is it the big bat daddy calls?”

Red Hood splutters at the name and Tim smirks evilly at the reaction. “Ew, don’t call him that!”

“I can call that higher-than-thou furry hero wannabe anything I want,” Tim spits bitterly, looking out to the city. Sometimes when he’s really lucky, he’ll catch one of the bats twirling in the sky, and now one of ‘em is sitting beside him, but sadly it’s not the most shocking knowledge he has today. “One of these days it’s going to be my turn.”

“What?”

“Dying in the collision of mad men’s evil master plan you refuse to get rid of.”

“Ck, I don’t like what you’re insinuating.”

“Sorry then, I don’t mean to insinuate anything. This is me telling you loud and clear that you’re all cowards for not killing these maniacs that kill us like ants when you have the power to stop them.” Tim’s voice is even and chill, it did not raise a tone, but it reduces the bulk of a man beside him to still. “Some of us rooted for you when you caught the Joker, and your reputation gives us high hopes that it’ll be the last of him. Then he showed up again.” Tim feels the lighter in his pocket burn, “Then Tam died.”

Tim pumps his lung full of smokes, keeping it in there so that the clawing gloom will die before it takes roots.

“I almost did kill him, Batman stopped me,” the gravel voice says lowly.

Tim feels himself stiffens, now that’s something he doesn’t know. His eyes scan the hunched vigilante, trying to find any sign of a lie, there’s none.

“Shit,” Tim curses, sighing up smoke and quickly takes a deep drag in. “Fuck Batman.”

For the first time, Tim hears Red chuckle, “Yeah, fuck him.”

“Still your family though, right?” Tim says, earning what he thinks is a glare, who would fucking know with that mask. “Why else would you stay in his line?”

Red Hood looks away, not answering.

“Guess I understand. Proving something to someone.”

Red scoffs, “Would you?”

“You know who I am.”

“Yeah, not your story.”

Tim scoffs at the obvious lie, “Look it up. I have better things to do than telling you my backstory that’s a google search away.”

Tim Drake. Son of the CEOs of Drake Industries. Running smoothly since ever he becomes the COO. Yada yada, young and successful, yada yada, has the reputation to chew out the reporters and a resting bitch face, all that shit. Tim doesn’t have the best bedside manners, but when it comes to business, Tim gets things done, and his business partners know to swallow their pride for a potential too stupid to missed just because Tim has fangs.

“I dunno, you’re pretty mysterious in the eye of the media,” Red says.

“Because they’re nosy pricks and not worth my time when they’re asking me about rumors of my flings.”

“They’re not true?”

“What the fuck are you? Does TMZ sent you?”

“Good point, never mind.”

They let the quiet settle in, and Tim isn’t too bothered by the company so much. The red amber eats to his filter. Tim puts out the light and puts the bud back inside the pack while he gets another one. He looks down at his light, which reminded him of Tam. Damn, she was such a good assistant, she’s also his best friend but a damn better assistant. Tim doesn’t let himself think about it.

He lights another, and puffs.

“Shouldn’t you be patroling?” Tim says before he can stop himself.

“Nah, not here to patrol, just some errands.”

“Don’t mind me. I’m not jumping.”

“No, I know that,” Red says, tone softer that Tim narrows his eyes at him.

“Lonely?” Tim teases, putting the filter in his lips while locking eyes to the pair of white lenses.

Red shrugs, “Just wanna kill time with someone that doesn’t wear one of these,” he says, tapping to his domino mask.

Tim hums imagining himself with his family, “Yeah, me too, I’d take a vigilante franchise over family dinner anytime.”

“Aww,” Red surprisingly coos, making Tim flustered.

“Don’t get it twisted, my family sets a pretty low bar for good company.”

“I can say the same, Timmy.”

Tim flinches, “I didn’t say you can call me Timmy.”

“What about friends then?” Red follows up, ignoring him.

“Joker killed my only best friend. Oh god, stop making that face, everyone I know got someone they know killed by the Joker, or Bane, or.... shit just those freaks.”

“Doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I don’t care what you feel.”

“I’m wounded,” Red says in that joking ‘boo-hoo’ voice but it was the last thing to snap Tim’s patience completely. He hates this casual conversation as if nothing happened.

“I’m not jumping, and I know you’re not here just to talk to some random civilian. You know who I am, so say what you wanna say and go,” Tim inhales deeply after the low-toned rant, only to be met with another silence.

They stay quiet for a few whiles again. Smoking the tension away. After Tim’s cig burns halfway, his nerves calmed down. Then he realizes that Red is looking at him. Staring.

“What?” Tim says, sighing smoke.

“Would you kill Joker if you could?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“Killing someone isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially if you did it before.”

“You underestimate my anger then.”

Red Hood goes still for what Tim is insinuating. His phone vibrates in his pocket. Tim gets it and his new assistant reminds him of a flight in an hour and he needs to be ready in half. Tim puts out his cig and pockets it.

As he stands up, he looks down at Red Hood, really looks at him. It reminded Tim of the time has passed. It’s been so long.

“Nothing to say?” Tim asks, he has an underlying tone of ‘last chance.’

“Thanks for the light.”

Tim clenches his jaw and breaths slowly. What did he expect? “You caught me at a bad time but it’s good to meet you again, Jason.”

When Tim walks away, his elbow is grabbed and he’s spun to face Jason in all his bulk. Looming over him with his height.

“You know who I am?” Red says with a threat in his voice that makes Tim wants to laugh.

“Are you really that surprised? Or did you forget me when you fucking died?” Tim smiles bitterly.

Moments passed, eyes on each other, chest to chest. The last time he sees Jason, Tim was staring at these white lenses too, and Jason was still as tall as him. At this close, Tim sees tiny tears that heal pale than the rest of his tan skin, bulked up body looming over him that used to be similar to his. For anyone, Tim had two best friends, Robin and Jason Wayne-Todd, he had known the two are the same. Seems like Jason doesn’t.

Doesn’t matter now. Everything said and done. Too late.

“Say your goodbyes now,” Tim says, because why else would his childhood friend pops back again after a decade of not saying anything after he returned to life. Tim doesn’t realize it’ll hurt this bad though. Missing Tam doesn’t hurt this bad.

Perhaps it was because the scar never healed right, but he still thinks of Jason like a big chunk of him that’s been torn away forcefully, even now.

“I’m sorry,” Jason finally says, low and guilty, as he should be, but it irks Tim to no end.

“I lost you, and when you’re back you didn’t tell me,” Tim says, his voice cracks and he curses it to hell. Red Hood’s been around for years, and Jason never came to Tim to say he’s alive.  “If you have nothing else to say, let go of me.”

“I didn’t know that you knew.”

“What?”

“I didn’t know you know I was Robin... Did you know... everyone?”

Tim rolls his eyes, “Yes.” Gloved hands still on his elbow, and white lenses not letting him go. The non-challant face he wears slips off as if oil just slicked between the mask and his skin. His heart picks up a beat. There are layers between their skin, Jason’s thick gloves and Tim’s three-piece suit, but it feels warmer. Burning.

“Damn,” Jason curses under his breath.

It’s just a little thing, but Jason’s silence following that is a nother prick to Tim’s skin.

“Is that all?” Tim dismissed, pulling his arm away, but Jason only holds tighter.

“I didn’t know, okay?” Jason pushes, “And you’re a civilian, you’re not supposed to know Jason Todd is back to the land of the living.”

“A civilian,” Tim mutters under his breath. That’s all he is to Jason? All this time. His chest hurts, Tim knows this is because of Jason’s words instead of anything else. “Get away from me.”

“I’ll see you again,” Jason says before letting go.

Before Tim can say don’t bother, the man puts on his red helmet and grapples away. For a moment Tim can see the shadow of red yellow green flying away.

[loving-barnes]

TED MOSBY – THE ONE (1)

(A/N): I needed a change and I have decided to write a HIMYM fanfic. This might have two or three parts. I have been watching the whole show again and honesly, I am obsessed with Ted. So... if you like or love  HIMYM, this one is for you. Also, this is around season 5 mixed with an AU. 

Pairing: Ted Mosby x reader

Warnings: none

Words: 2013

TED MOSBY – THE ONE

After all the break-ups and girls, he was ready to settle down. Usually, when he found a girl and started dating her, he would tell his friends that someone new came into his life. Maybe because of that his relationships didn’t work out. Maybe… This time, he decided to keep it as private as possible and not tell them about the new woman in his life until they were ready. It was a mutual decision. She was glad that he proposed the idea because she was only in one relationship before Ted and so, she wanted to take things a bit slow.

They would hang out together when Ted’s roommate was away or they would stay at her place because she lived alone.

“My friends come and go into our apartment, so it’s better we are mostly crashing at your place. And besides, I love it here,” said Ted to Y/N when they spend their three-month anniversary at her place. It was a simple Chinese takeout night with Star Wars. Ted wanted to watch it, just to be sure she loved the movies as much as he did.

“This is my favourite part,” she squealed excitedly.

Ted’s eyes widened and he looked at her. He stopped breathing for a moment and just stared at her face, noticing how her eyes were sparkling and he just knew that she was the one, at least the one worth saying those three powerful words.

Y/N turned to him with a smile. “What’s up?” she asked.

“I love you,” he said – simple, short and powerful.

Her hand reached for the remote control and she paused the movie. After that, she put down her plate with food and again turned to him. “Really?”

Ted nodded, still smiling. It was a genuine smile that she loved so much. “I mean it. I love you.”

And then she was on him, kissing him deeply. Then she realised one unpleasant thing. She pulled away from him. “I’m so sorry, my breath after the spicy chicken…”

“That’s alright,” he leaned to her again, capturing her lips with his.

After the kiss, she curled to his side with a plastered smile on her face. “I love you too, Ted.”

In the end, it was a good thing they decided to keep it low-key. This way, they could enjoy their time together and cherish their moments without being interrupted by Ted’s friends, mostly Barney.

Even though Barney had a thing for Robin, he would hit on Y/N a lot – Ted was sure of it. Deep down, he was scared to introduce his new girlfriend to Barney.

“Ted?” Y/N asked him the next morning when they were having a very early breakfast before work. “If you agree and if you want, I would like to meet your friends. I think I am ready,” she said.

As much as it made him happy that she wanted to meet the people he considered as family, his gut was telling him to wait a little more. “Uhm-“ he started slowly, carefully considering his next words. “About that,” he took a deep breath. “I am so glad you want to meet my friends, but could we wait a bit more, please?”

She put down her mug with coffee. “Sure,” she didn’t know what to think. “No rush. Can I at least know why? Should I be worried or scared?” she kinked a brow.

Ted took a deep breath. She needed to know some information about his friends. “They mean well, I know that, but sometimes they can be either overprotective or make everything to make fun of me. I don’t mind the second one it’s just… it might scare you off.”

She laughed a little and bit her lower lip. “Go on,” she goaded him.

“I will come clean with you. There is this girl in our group – Robin – and we used to date for a year. I don’t have any feelings for her. She is just a friend and a family, nothing more. Lily, she still thinks I might have feelings for her. I don’t. The only feelings I have are that I love you.”

“Alright,” she nodded.

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

Y/N shook her head. “Honestly, maybe a little but overall, no. I would be more worried if you met someone after me. That I would be more worried about,” she admitted. “Anything else I should know?”

Ted was pleasantly surprised that she was fine with it. “Uh, Barney, he is a womanizer and a sociopath. In the end, he is a very good friend of mine. I just want to warn you that he might hit on you, a lot.”

“And the one named Lily?”

“Right, Lily is married to Marshall. We studied at the same university. Marshall is my best friend. Lily occasionally wants to meddle in someone’s business or relationship. Usually, it is not a bad thing.”

Y/N laughed. “Seems like you are trying to say all the negative things about your friends so I wouldn’t be too shocked.”

“Pretty much,” he nodded. “So, would you still like to meet them?”

She stood up from the chair and went to him. Without a word, she sat on his lap and gave his lips a peck. “They are your friends. I want to meet them. If they don’t like me, there is nothing I can do about it.”

“God, you are amazing,” he kissed her one more time. “How about Friday night? I will come for you and we will go to McLaren’s where we hang out most of the time.”

“Sounds like a deal,” she accepted his idea.

…

He hadn’t seen the gang for over a week. When he was done teaching architecture, he went straight to the pub where his friends would already be. And he was right. They were all sitting in their usual booth, drinking beer.

“Well, look who decided to show up,” said Lily when she noticed him coming towards them. “Where have you been most of the time? We barely have seen you this century.”

Ted took a chair and sat at the head of the table. “Sorry guys, I had a lot to do at work,” he said it as if it was true. “Sometimes, it is not easy to be a teacher.”

“Seriously Ted, what is going on?” Marshall asked him.

“Nothing, really.”

“Where’s the poop, Ted?” Lily questioned.

“There is no poop, Lily. I had to create several tests for my students, prepare the lectures and had a meeting with the school council.” He said it while directly staring into her eyes.

They were quiet for a moment until Barney decided to open his mouth. “Alright, since you are here, we shall play our favourite game to get you laid.”

“Barney, no.”

“Come on, Ted. We haven’t played it for months. FOR MONTHS, Ted,” he stood up from his seat with his scotch in a hand.

While he was babbling about it, Ted’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He received a text from Y/N.

Hi, I am passing by your street and I was wondering if you would like to hang out or something?

As much as he tried not to smile, he failed, and Robin was the one that noticed it. “Ted Mosby smiling at his phone? Something is definitely going on.”

I’m inside McLaren’s with the gang. Come here and meet everyone, if you like.

“There definitely is a poop. Spill it out, Mosby,” Robin mocked him.

He kept his mouth shut, not telling them anything. “Oh man, what did you do?” Marshall was concerned. “Ted, tell us. You have never been this silent. What happened?”

“Wait a minute,” Barney sat down and pointed at Ted’s face. “I know this face.”

And before he could say that he might meet a girl, a young woman approached the table carefully. “Ted,” said Y/N softly.

He turned his head and smiled at her. He stood up, helped her with her jacket and offer her his chair. Afterwards, he grabbed himself a new one.

“Y/N, this is everyone. Everyone, this is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Barney almost choked on his drink and thus sprayed it on Marshall and Lily who were sitting opposite them. “What? No, no! You are supposed to be my wingman. You are not supposed to date anyone for at least five years.” He left the booth and went somewhere else to cry.

“So, I guess that is Barney,” said Y/N while looking into Ted’s eyes.

“Exactly,” he nodded.

Lily was the next one to finally speak. “Hi, this is a surprise,” she stuttered. “Honestly a big surprise. I’m Lily and this is my husband, Marshall,” she pointed at the tall man next to her. “H-how long have you been together?”

“For over three months,” they said simultaneously.

“You kept it a secret for over three months? How? How did you manage to keep your mouth shut for that long?” Marshall couldn’t believe it.

Y/N was glad for a second that she was not the centre of the attention. They were bombarding Ted for trying to keep this relationship a secret. In the meantime, she ordered herself a beer.

“So, Y/N, tell us something about you? Or better, how did you two meet?” Lily turned her attention to her.

Y/N shrugged. “Honestly, there is nothing special about how we met. We simply bumped into each other on the street when suddenly, everything was on the ground and Ted was apologizing,” she smiled at the memory. “I was running to an important meeting and Ted was late for class.”

“After that, we met like a week later when I happened to be at the right time in the right place,” he looked into her eyes. “Some of my students told me that there was a reading in the library after class. I was not interested in going at all,” he admitted. “Then, they showed me the leaflet and there she was.”

“There I was,” she repeated almost inaudibly.

Barney came back to the booth with another scotch in his hand. “Traitor,” he said it out loud. “Marshall, you are my new and only wingman.”

“In your dreams,” he declined.

“Just wait, Mosby. This thing,” he pointed between Y/N and Ted, “will end soon and then you will be begging to be my wingman.”

“So, what do you do for a living?” Robin tried to turn the conversation where it was before Barney interrupted them.

“I am a writer. I wrote the Noble Blood trilogy and am currently working on another fantasy book.”

“I love the Noble Blood series,” Marshall almost scream from the sudden excitement. “You are Y/N Y/L/N. Holy crap, I can’t believe you were able to get her, Ted. Finally, someone normal.”

“I’m glad you like the books,” she smiled at him.

“I love them,” Marshall continued. “They are written for both boy and girls. What inspired you to write something like that?”

“Star Wars,” she said simply.

“She loves Star Wars?”

“She loves Star Wars,” said Ted.

“She loves Star Wars!” Barney exclaimed. “You just went from a 7 to solid 11.”

“Thanks?” Y/N was a bit offended and confused.

Robin joined the conversation. “Hey, I work for Channel 12 and I would like to make an interview with you.”

“You work for the news channel? That is so cool. I would love to. We should arrange something,” Y/N happily accepted. “One question, though: Is Sandy Rivers still there and being such a pig?”

Robin nodded, immediately annoyed by that man. “Sandy Rivers is a pig, but he is not working with me.”

“S-so, you’ve seen my show: Come on, Get up New York!?”

“Surprisingly yes. When I had to leave for Europe to promote the book, I would watch it while packing or getting ready for the flight.”

“My girlfriend is just awesome,” said Ted triumphantly and he quickly kissed her cheek.

“Alright, next round is on me. I am so happy to meet you. Really,” she gave them an honest smile and went to the bar.  

[neonponders]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for tagging me @lazybakerart 💗💋

I’ve got two big writing projects on my plate this week lol but one thing I’m kind of indulging is a break-up/getting back together fic that I actually started in this post, but I’ll share what I have so far underneath the cut ~

(and excuse me while I overshare, because I’m still stupidly proud of this The Mummy_au post that I made if anyone wants a taste of that)

Tagging (if you want) ✨ @ghostofjellyfishforgotten , ✨ @smashmouth-hargrove , and ✨ @withoneheadlight 

(also just a heads up for the wip below: it’s once again me exploring my own asexuality through Steve, but I don’t know how far I’m going to go into it. Still, that might be a content warning people may need if they’re sex-repulsed 🌹)

Ch. 1

Sex with Billy was fine. Good, even.

When they finally moved past every look and touch being a threat veiled in a tease, Steve enjoyed looking at Billy. He enjoyed looking at Billy and discovering those California eyes already on him. He liked Billy’s hands. The man had beautiful hands; strong, thick fingers but...somehow elegant.

He liked Billy’s body, even though he sometimes worried that the guy seemed determined to break it ten different ways. Cigarettes, alcohol, excessive working out, and sometimes all at the same time.

Sex didn’t always mean Steve got to cum. Usually he didn’t, actually. But he enjoyed Billy’s kisses on his neck, and the taste of his tongue, and - admittedly - he loved just having all of Billy’s attention enraptured on him. Steve didn’t mind taking his dick inside because once he got used to it, that felt surprisingly good. When he managed the pleasurable sparks and sensational tingles that mounted into something explosive, he understood why sex was great. But for the more frequent, calm nights, he’d come to think of it as a weird yet pleasant massage.

So he took it. Because it was easier on his hands and knees, for one, and because Billy had a control complex. And Steve could hide his lack of enthusiasm.

Not to say that Billy was selfish or careless. Far from it, Billy Hargrove was an incredibly doting lover. Big surprise, there. Considering how the guy

Well

Existed.

Steve couldn’t really blame Billy for never noticing that he could go a long time without sex. Because Steve liked resting his hand on Billy’s chest while they watched a show or movie. It didn’t matter how much bare skin he had access to. In fact, the more coverage, the better. A clothed body is better to cuddle with than skin that can get sticky or irritated.

Steve liked kissing. He’d always liked kissing. Kissing was the reason he’d assumed he was like everyone else: the desire to kiss, crushes and girlfriends, masturbating, even the giddiness of sex with someone new.

But something fizzled out very quickly in Steve’s brain. Once hands and intent started moving beneath clothing, Steve just...didn’t want it. Suddenly a lot of things popped into his brain that he’d rather be doing. But he persevered because he loved Nancy, and her blooming sexual prowess and bravery was sexy.

Fun.

Billy was a whole big bag of new with an edge of scary that turned out to be more endearing than Steve thought possible. So it was easy to go like that for a while.

Normal.

Eventually he had to admit to himself that he didn’t like taking showers at 1am because he didn’t enjoy being covered in his own, and Billy’s, sweat. He didn’t like feeling the drips on his skin or the tackiness of too many skin oils on his hands.

He hated admitting to himself that he felt relief whenever Billy went out of town for work. He missed Billy, of course, but a lot of things had begun to snowball together in Steve’s life: changing jobs, managing bank accounts and savings, and there were a lot of truths Steve was facing outside of his relationship.

He was tired. Damn tired. He spent many days off wondering if people in their twenties feel this tired all the time or if it was just him. It must just be him. Because Steve sees Robin just as much as he doesn’t. She’s got goals.

And Billy

Billy has big dreams. He’s ready to work damn hard and already is. That’s why he uses his hefty gas money funds, to travel around. Scout the areas. Steve even drove him to the airport once, so Billy could really gain some distance over the weekend. Expand his network.

As if the universe knew, some bigwig passing through Hawkins on their way to Chicago ran right into Billy. A bigwig looking for a handsome, charismatic, young guy to mentor. It really couldn’t be more perfect than divine intervention. They’re Billy’s inlet to the business. Modeling, acting, freaking UNICEF ambassadorial work if he wants to feel extra important. If he gets big enough to have his face mean something around the world.

Within one conversation, he’s got a business card, and an appointment in a Chicago skyscraper next week to take measurements and do a rudimentary photo shoot. The manager warns him that it’s the agency getting to know him, but like any job interview, it’s his chance to interview them right back. Billy likes that a lot—feeling like he has a stake in something instead of just being a corporate pawn. And maybe he eats right out of the manager’s hand, but it’s still a shot. And he’s taking it.

He immediately goes to Steve’s work, fired up from seeing a future for the first time like he finally got the right prescription glasses. The only caveat is that Billy has to move out of Hawkins, which isn’t even a flaw, really. It’s as close to perfect as life’s ever been for him.

Steve can only listen quietly as he sits at the table in the break room. Because Billy’s got big dreams that are already coming true. Every detail of his enflamed speech is given over pacing feet; he can’t even bother to sit at the table. Billy’s got so much energy he’s already mentally and emotionally out the door.

Steve…isn’t. His mental health has been on a downward slope since before they graduated, and it won’t allow him to reach anywhere. He doesn’t have any dreams to steer him in any direction anyways.

Billy’s rant begins to wind down about what he wants to do; his fire about his dreams and his motivation simmers down to an even boil. Steve’s impressed and already proud of the person Billy will become, but Steve can also hear Billy’s frustration with him and their relationship.

For not keeping up.

Steve’s…kind of never been able to keep up. In bed or in life.

And perhaps the saddest part is that Steve doesn’t even have it in him to fight for it. For them. He doesn’t feel worthy enough to hold Billy back. So he doesn’t.

Billy snaps a little, “Why aren’t you saying anything? I’ve been talking about this for the last two years! Steve?”

He’d gotten distracted by looking at his backpack hanging on the wall. Steve’s throat hurt. Two years? God, it’s really been two years already…

He pinched his fingertips over the table as he began, “Billy, I support you. I know you can get there—wherever it is you want to be. I’m not going to tell you to stop or slow down. You’re going somewhere. But I’m…”

He took a breath to finally say it. “Not. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t think I have the energy to figure it out any time soon. You should go.”

Steve can see the disappointment sinking through Billy’s features. And the anger that he’s so used to throwing up as a shield. Billy has so much energy coursing through him as it is, Steve can’t blame him for swinging right into the direction of livid.

The real surprise comes from how soft he speaks. No yelling. No hitting the table. No wrenching Steve up by his green uniform vest. They were long past those outbursts. Which…really just confirmed Steve’s decision. Billy had come a long way. He could go so much further.

“That’s what you have to say? Just like that…you’re really giving up on us?”

Steve knows he’s gaping like a stupid fish. But it isn’t just like that, is it? Billy’s been revving his engines to get the hell out of Hawkins ever since he got here in the first place. Steve tries to say as much, but Billy cuts him off.

“I thought you’d be excited for this. You should be hauling me out of here to pack my bags.”

Steve tries to offer a small smile, but his voice betrays him. “I thought I kind of am? I didn’t take you for the long distance type.”

It’s not the response Billy wants. That should make Steve feel better than it does; the blatant display that Billy wants more of Steve. His excitement, his attention, maybe his companionship…

Steve doesn’t know what he wants—or rather, he does. That’s the issue. Billy’s wants and Billy’s problems can all be resolved by leaving one critical piece behind.

Steve.

Some more things are said, but Steve doesn’t do well on the spot. Especially when the limelight is Billy. Steve fails the tests and he fails the interview. Billy storms out, leaving Steve at the table, pinching his fingertips white before he unconsciously glances at his backpack again.

The backpack full of apartment lease papers. The papers Steve’s already signed because even with his insecurities, the mornings he woke up to discover Billy spooning him after having returned in the middle of the night were his best days. Because Billy’s silly insistence on hand poured coffee was his favorite drink. Because Billy was funny and weird like an artist and loony like a nerd with his video games, and Steve knew—or at least hoped that—Billy loved him the day he started holding his hand while driving that stupid, loud, beloved Camaro—

Because Steve’s heart was a magnet. It stayed where it landed and tugged back even when pulled away.

All he’d needed was Billy’s autograph to be given the keys. Keys to the rest of their lives, if Billy wasn’t already so far away.

Ch. 2

Robin gripped Steve’s arm, hard. A gargled sound escaped him as he grimaced and tried to pry her hand off. Her other hand pointed at one of the catalogues on the store’s many counters. When he invited her with him to pick out glasses, he hadn’t expected to walk out of the freaking optometrist’s office with bruises…

Nor had he thought he’d see a familiar face in the catalogue. Plenty of models were looking editorial chic, advertising that anyone could look as good in whatever glasses they chose.

Except Billy really did look good. The picture was just a vague image outside, the camera focused on Billy’s three-quarter profile gazing off past the photographer.

“I didn’t expect him to actually be working this fast,” Robin admitted. “It’s been…what? Seven months, give or take? I thought casting calls for models were competitive.”

“Not if you look like Billy,” Steve huffed with a quiet mixture of humor, sadness, and just a sprinkle of spite. A sprinkle of jealousy, if he was being honest with himself. The self-help book tucked under the covers of his bed talked about honesty. So he admitted honestly, “He looks that good and knows how to stand out in a room…good for him.”

He could see in his periphery Robin looking up and scrutinizing him. “Really?”

Steve shrugged with a nod. “Yeah. What’s the other option? Him struggling for work?”

Robin sighed and plucked a display set of glasses at random to try on and occupy herself. “That’s big of you, but everyone wants something cathartic. It’s annoyingly impressive that he landed the front cover of a magazine in less than a year.”

Steve opened the catalogue to give them both a reprieve. “You wanna get food after this? Take your mind off the audition?”

For all the good being a band geek did, Robin had experienced her own humbling experiences over the last few months. Like failed auditions to be in city orchestras. She and Steve were feeling very stuck in Kansas while Billy gallivanted around Oz.

• • • • • • •

The plot gets messy because years will actually go by, and Steve and Robin get married so that they can share insurance benefits (and be safe in their bi/lesbian open relationship, buy a house together, etc. It’s the life/happiness security Steve wants but obviously there aren’t any romantic feelings).

Of course this is when Billy happens to reenter Steve’s life. He’s got some hot-shot model he’s been seeing, and apparently Steve is married so there’s the added dash and twist of ~ cheating ~

I’ve been in some kind of mood, all right.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading lol.

[chenziee]

Jealousy

Request #4 for @blueriza​! Thank you so much for the request!! I struggled a little bit with this one but I quite like the result! I hoope you enjoy! :D

—————

They were talking again. Zoro knew it probably didn’t mean anything; Sanji had always been a ladies man, Zoro knew that fact all too well, and Robin was just one of the crew members. There was nothing wrong with them talking or spending time together. Or whispering and laughing together only to shut up as soon as Zoro walked into the room. Almost like they didn’t want him to know what they were talking about.

Zoro knew it didn’t mean anything. Couldn’t mean anything. He was the one dating Sanji. He was the one to claim him for his own, not Robin or anyone else. It didn’t mean anything.

Maybe if he kept repeating that to himself long enough, it would stop nagging at him.

“If it bothers you so much, just go ask him what’s going on,” Usopp said with annoyance.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Zoro replied, hoping the sniper would just drop it.

But of course he didn’t; nothing could ever be that easy for him it seemed. “You’ve been glaring at the kitchen door for like an hour, I’m surprised it’s not on fire yet.” Usopp was speaking in such a flat voice that Zoro could just imagine the deadpan expression on his face without even looking away from the kitchen.

Zoro clicked his tongue in irritation. How was this even any of Usopp’s business? Not that there was any business in the first place. “I’m just thinking how I’m getting a bit hungry.”

“Sure,” Usopp drew out, sarcasm dripping from the one, simple word. “Seriously, just talk to him. You’re not twelve.”

“And what would I say? ‘Don’t talk to the other crew members?’” Zoro snapped, finally looking at the sniper with a glare.

Usopp laughed at his words. “I wouldn’t recommend that, that’s just asking for a fight. Try ‘can you please pay more attention to me?’”

“I’m not saying that,” Zoro said with distaste, making a face at the suggestion. And Usopp just told him he wasn’t twelve, as if begging for attention like that wouldn’t make him sound like a needy child.

Usopp rolled his eyes at him before turning back to his newest invention, only noting simply, “It doesn’t hurt to be honest sometimes.”

Zoro didn’t say anything to him after that but he did have to admit that maybe, just maybe… Usopp had a point. It sure as hell couldn’t be worse than stewing in this uncertainty and worry and whatever the hell these feelings were.

And so, after a few minutes of deliberation, Zoro finally grabbed his swords and got up, heading straight for the kitchen. His timing couldn't have been better either, when as soon as he climbed up the stairs, the door to the kitchen opened and Robin walked out, a smile on her face that only widened when she noticed Zoro. He had to wonder what that look in her eyes meant; he could never read her, could never tell what she was thinking.

Somehow, however, he felt assured after looking into her warm, blue eyes and he felt the corners of his mouth lifting up a little bit in response. He supposed he could take that as a good sign.

Nodding in thanks, Zoro quickly grabbed the door that Robin held open for him and slipped inside, scanning the room for Sanji. He wasn’t at the stove, instead sitting at the table with a mug in front of him, staring at the contents like he could find the All Blue in there if he tried hard enough. He didn’t notice Zoro coming in, probably assuming Robin was the one to close the door.

Zoro smirked to himself, taking the opportunity to quietly sneak up to Sanji. Standing right behind him, he leaned down until his nose was almost touching his hair, unwittingly noting to himself how gently the blond’s shampoo smelled, then, not wasting anymore time, he bit down on his earlobe.

The reaction was immediate. Sanji screamed in surprise, his hand flying out to grab at his ear while the chair clattered to the floor and his leg shot up in a kick, one that Zoro had expected and avoided easily. When Sanji realized his attacker was Zoro, he relaxed the slightest bit, though still keeping his leg in the air. “What the fuck, Marimo?” he growled and gave Zoro a dirty glare.

Unable—and unwilling—to stop himself, Zoro started laughing. Sanji’s scream and reaction was just too funny. “You looked so distracted, I thought I’d better wake you up before you float away.”

Sanji gave him a look. “Oh shut up,” he sighed, finally putting both feet on the floor and picking up the fallen chair. “What did you want?”

“So I can’t just come here without a reason?” Zoro bristled despite himself. Weren’t they supposed to be dating? Even if they did tend to fight a lot, it didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy the other man’s company. Wasn’t it the same for Sanji? Or did he only want to spend time with girls and not his boyfriend?

“So you don’t want anything? Not beer or food?” Sanji asked cocking his head to the side and regarding Zoro with such absolute confusion on his face. “I thought—” he suddenly stopped himself, not finishing his sentence and instead looking away.

But Zoro could imagine what he was going to say and he inhaled sharply. Did he honestly think that Zoro had to want something, that he never wanted to just talk to him? Frowning, Zoro thought back. It was true that whenever he came to the kitchen lately, he came in asking for booze or food but couldn’t Sanji tell that was just an excuse?

Could it be that they were both upset over the same thing…?

It was so ridiculous that Zoro had to laugh. They were both so stupid. Taking a step closer to Sanji, Zoro grabbed the other’s hand, giving him a crooked smile. “Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Sanji’s eyes flickered down to Zoro’s lips before moving back up, looking Zoro straight in his eye and nodding the slightest bit, only a second before he closed the distance himself.

Zoro grinned into the kiss, putting his free hand on the cook’s hip and pushing him back until they hit the wall. Making use of Sanji’s gasp at the impact, Zoro let his tongue slip inside his mouth, relishing in the soft moan he got in response.

Usopp was right. They should probably both be more honest from now on.

—————

Dismissing the eye and ear she had left behind in the kitchen, Robin smiled to herself. Those two love sick idiots were truly ridiculous but so very cute.

“Looks like they are finally learning how to communicate,” she noted, leaning back and relaxing against the warm back behind her.

The owner of said back laughed, “That’s super to hear!”

“Indeed it is. Hopefully Sanji will stop worrying about being wanted now,” Robin agreed, chuckling quietly. It wasn’t like she minded listening to Sanji complain about Zoro not wanting to spend time with him but she was glad they seemed to be on the right path to figure out this misunderstanding.

“Does that mean my super archeologist will have more time to spend with me?” Franky asked, craning his head back to look at Robin.

She laughed, raising her hand to stroke the cyborg’s cheek. “Were you jealous, too?”

Franky grinned, kissing the palm of her hand before answering, “No, but I still want to have you to myself more.”

“You better not rush with finishing up this motorcycle, then,” she teased, dismissing the extra hands that had been holding up Franky’s drawn plans for his newest arsenal addition, causing the papers to flutter to the floor.

The kiss they shared a second later was long and gentle, both of them smiling despite the loud, metallic crash that followed after Franky let go of his motorcycle. At least they had an excuse to work on it longer.

[lightsupinthenorth]

Harringrove teachers AU part 3

Part 1 - Part 2 

Thank you to everyone who read, liked and/or reblogged the previous parts. Also, the people who said something nice in the tags or in reactions own my heart. Just thought you should know ;) <3 

Tag list: @twoprettyboys, @inkedplume​, @marianaosborne​, @liglitterbug​, @hmg621 @spreckle @goldenweatherharringrove @yikesharringrove @yogurtfordinner @wingedbears @charlotte-frey @hargrovesharrington​

If anyone wants to be added to or taken off the tag list for the future posts of this AU, let me know ;)

I hope the tags are working because I recently had some trouble with them (ah, Tumblr is a mess). 

I was planning on keeping the chapters short but every part has been longer than the last so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (then again, it’s still pretty short so I guess it’s fine ^^). 

I’ll stop rambling now.

*

Billy didn’t know how he had ended up in this situation, this situation being Steve and he making out in the otherwise empty teachers’ lounge, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. He wanted to keep Steve’s soft lips on his forever. Sadly, he didn’t get his way: there was a loud bang, and suddenly Steve’s lips were gone. Steve was gone too, as well as the teachers’ lounge. Billy woke up at home, in his bed, hard as a rock in the basket-ball shorts he was wearing as pajamas.

Great, he got an erection just from dreaming he and Steve were kissing. What was he? A teenager? That was pathetic.

Billy was considering rubbing one out, despite the embarrassment, but there was another loud bang that made him remember why he had woken up in the first place.

What the fuck was happening this early on a Saturday?

Billy instantly worried Max had fallen or, worse, that someone had broken into the flat and would hurt her (highly improbable in such a small town, but Billy wasn’t alert enough to be logical). The concern killed his arousal in two seconds tops. He shot up from bed and exited his bedroom in a hurry.

He found Max in their open kitchen, mixing what appeared to be pancakes ingredients.

“What was that noise?” He asked, in lieu of a greeting.  

“I dropped the pan. Sorry.”

“There were two noises.”

“I dropped the mixing bowl too. Let me live! It’s your fault, you stored both these things on the highest shelf” Max complained.

“Hey, no need for a defense, I’m not accusing you. I was just worried, shitbird.”

“Oh… well, I’m okay.”

“And you’re making pancakes, so I’m certainly not going to complain.” Billy added.

“Who told you I was making some for you?”

Billy pouted, even though he knew Max was bluffing. He could see the amount of batter in the mixing bowl. She had quite an appetite, but there was no way she’d be able to eat all of that on her own.

“So mean, so early in the morning.”

“What can I say, I love messing with you.”  

Paradoxically, Billy was happy that she did. When they had first met, he’d been a perpetually angry teenager, and teeny tiny Max had done everything she could to stay out of his way. Once Susan had announced she was ill, though, Billy had tried his hardest to be the brother Max deserved. After Susan’s death, Billy had looked after Max and kept her safe from his father until he had turned legal. He had then fought to get Max away from Neil and had obtained full custody of her.  

It had been hard to balance getting his degree, working part-time jobs, and taking care of Max. Even more so with Neil trying to steer trouble every now and again. But they had made it out alright, in the hand, and Billy didn’t regret a second of it.

“Sit your ass down.” Max said as she turned the stove on.

“Oh no, no way. You ‘sit your ass down’. I’ll take it from here.”

Max was good at finding the best recipes and at mixing ingredients, but the cooking process was another thing entirely: she had nearly burned the kitchen down almost every time she had tried using the oven or the stove. Her cooking privileges had been revoked after the fifth time.

“Ugh, fine.”

Billy had two plates full on pancakes in no time. He put one in front of Max and went to sit down with his own on the other side of the table. The second his ass touched his chair, Max asked:

“So, you have plans with Steve and Robin this afternoon?”

Billy frowned.

“First of all, it’s Mrs. Buckley and Mr. Harrington for you”, he started, just to get on her nerves (he didn’t give a fuck how she called her teachers), “and second, how do you know that?”

Max arched an eyebrow.

“You literally talked about it with Steve right in front of me yesterday”, she said, ignoring Billy’s reprimand (no surprise, there).

“Oh… right… I did.”

Truthfully, Billy had stopped paying attention to Max and El the second he had laid eyes on Steve and the dumb spot of blue paint that had been resting on his cheek as if it had any right to.

“So, what are you guys going to do?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re going to grade papers.”

“Well, that’s exciting.”

Her sarcasm was off the charts.

“Tell me about it”, Billy mumbled, around a mouthful of pancake.

“Ew, gross.”

Billy stuffed even more pancake into his mouth, in defiance, before he spoke again:

“So, Art club, uh? What’s up with that?”

They hadn’t had an opportunity to talk about it the day before, because Friday night was movie night, and they had eaten dinner in front of the tv. Plus, Billy would have been too distracted to hold a conversation (Steve hadn’t left his mind).

“Steve said I should come. He noticed I haven’t been speaking to a lot of people, and he said it might help to do an activity in a smaller group…” Max wasn’t looking at Billy as she explained.

“Anyway, I think he was right. He’s the best!” She beamed as she said it, finally looking up from her slowly but surely diminishing pile of pancakes.

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

Billy was glad, really. He was also a bit frustrated that Steve had managed to talk to Max about making friends, when Billy hadn’t known how to bring it up without offending her, but he wasn’t petty enough to show he had a problem with it. Even if Max calling Steve “the best” was treason of the highest order, Billy just wanted her to be happy. If Steve’s intervention helped more than Billy himself could, then so be it.

They finished breakfast, got ready for the day and then went grocery shopping. As they got back to the flat, Max went to her room to chill, and Billy read for a while before he started preparing lunch. Keeping busy distracted him from thinking about seeing Steve in the afternoon. Well, he didn’t think about it too much, at least.

-

When Billy made his way into the coffee shop, Steve and Robin were already seated, talking animatedly… in another language.

“Hi. Was that Italian?”

They must not have noticed him approaching, because as soon as he greeted them, they stopped talking, and Steve looked up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey Billy”, Robin said, “as a matter of fact, it was.”

“Don’t you teach French and Spanish?”

Billy was perplexed.

“I do. Doesn’t mean I don’t speak Italian.”

“It figures”, Billy shrugged.

He wanted to ask Steve where he had learnt Italian, because it intrigued him. However, he chose not to. He didn’t want to talk to him unless it was necessary. It’d be better for everyone if they had the bare minimum of interactions together, surely.

“Are these new piercings?” Robin asked, gesturing toward his ears.

“Uh, no. I’ve had them for a long time. I just don’t wear them at school.”

“Well, you should. They look really cool, and I’m sure no one would have anything to say about it.”

Billy stared at Steve pointedly, but Steve looked away as soon as he caught his gaze.

“I’ll think about it.” Billy finally said.

Steve and Robin already had their orders, so Billy took his wallet from his bag and went to the counter. He glanced at the display case and eyed the cherry pie with envy, but decided against it. After this morning’s pancakes, it wouldn’t be reasonable. Plus, he hadn’t hit the gym in a few days. He had to start indulging less if he wanted to stay in shape. He went for a simple black coffee. As the burly man behind the counter, whom Billy guessed to be Benny, asked him if he wanted anything else, Billy nearly surrendered, but he powered through. He handed Benny a ten-dollar bill and put the change he was given in one of his pockets.

When Billy went back to their table with his cup of coffee, Steve was blowing on his cup of steaming hot tea. Billy’s eyes caught on the ‘o’ shape of Steve’s lips, which reminded him of his dream. He averted his eyes, praying to God he wasn’t blushing, now that he couldn’t hide it behind his tan anymore (screw Hawkins, Indiana).

As Billy sat down, he noticed Steve had a piece of the pie he’d been eyeing. Not fair. He nearly started pouting but caught himself. After all, his pie-less state was his own fault. Why did he have to be reasonable?

Billy took his pen and the essays he had to grade out of his backpack to give himself something to focus on. But then Steve started eating. And he moaned. Quite obscenely.

“Mh, this is so good. Benny is a magician. You guys want a bite?”

Billy really wanted to say yes, not only because he wanted pie, but because Steve was the one offering. It would have been weird, though? Right?

“No thanks” he ended up saying. What a hard thing to say.

Robin had no such qualms. She needn’t have, since she and Steve were actually friends. Not only did she get to experience Steve warmth and kindness, she also got a bite of his pie. Did she even know how lucky she was?

Billy got into his grading. And he was already past the no-pouting stage of the afternoon. It sucked to be him, sometimes.

“You should probably wait for Steve to finish eating… and drinking too, to be honest, before you put your students’ paper on the table. That man is a disaster.”

Billy had to admit Robin was right. He ate lunch with Steve on a regular basis, and had therefore seen him spill a bunch of things on himself. Thankfully, nothing he had ever spilled had reached Billy, so they were probably safe.

“Oh come on! We’re on opposite ends of the table.” Steve objected.

“I know, but I’m sure you’d find a way.”

Steve scoffed but didn’t try to argue his case any further. He looked adorably ruffled when Robin laughed at his expanse.

They didn’t say anything more for a while, as they were finally doing what they had come here to do. At some point, though, Robin brought up a point one of her students had made about the French translation of “Newspeak” in George Orwell’s 1984, which led her and Billy to launch a discussion about the novel.

Steve offered no input whatsoever, but he had stopped grading and had been staring at them for five minutes straight.

It was making Billy’s skin itch.

At some point, he couldn’t take it anymore and asked:

“What’s your opinion Steve?”

“Uh… I… I don’t really have one.” He stammered, caught off guard.

“How come?”

“I, uh, I haven’t actually read the book.”

“Oh. Well, you should. It’s an amazing book.”

Steve fidgeted with his red pen, repeatedly taking the cap off and then putting it back on.

“Uh… I don’t know about that. It’s not really my thing.”

“How can you know it’s not your thing if you haven’t read it?” Billy asked, a tad defensively.

“I didn’t mean the book… I meant, reading.”

Steve bit his lower lip.

“Why not? Is that beneath a math buff such as yourself, or something?” Billy’s tone had become hostile.

And, by pulling accusations out of his ass like that, he had gone from defensive to straight up aggressive.

“No. ‘course not… It’s just… reading is hard for me… I’m, uh… I’m dyslexic, so…” Steve trailed off, looking down at the pen he was seemingly holding in a vice grip.

Billy was speechless with shame and regret, as Steve offered a wobbly smile and said: “I’m gonna… go get some more tea”, before leaving the table.

Billy stared at his retreating form before he turned to Robin and found her glaring at him. If he could have felt worse than he already did, he would have.

“So… should I go apologize right now or should I leave him alone and apologize later?”

Teenage Billy would have probably not apologized at all, but present-time Billy knew better. He felt like the biggest jerk.

“I’d say, go for it.”

Billy followed Robin’s advice and, with knots in his stomach, he went to Steve, who was waiting for his tea behind the counter.

“Steve, man… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…” Steve said, but his eyes didn’t leave his own shoes.

That wouldn’t do. Billy had made Steve feel shitty, and he would make it better if it were the last thing he did.

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Billy had let his frustration with Steve get the better of him, and that was unacceptable. Steve was not particularly nice to him, so what? It wasn’t a reason to be outright mean to the guy.

“Really, it’s no big deal… It’s not like it’s a secret… my dyslexia, I mean.”

“Yeah, but you obviously didn’t want to share this piece of info with me, and I should have dropped it.”

“I just… I was afraid you’d find me stupid… But you probably thought I was stupid already, anyway… what with me never having anything interesting to say when Robin and you talk about literature.”

“Hey, I don’t…”

Benny placed Steve’s cup of tea on the counter, cutting Billy mid-sentence.

“It’s on me”, Billy said, fishing his five-dollar bill of change out of his jean’s back pocket and handing it to Benny.

“You didn’t have to.”

Was Steve blushing or was it a trick of the light?

“I want to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up for, but thanks.”

Steve grabbed his cup of tea and was going to go back to their table, but Billy held him back.

“Wait… I want you to know I don’t find you stupid, okay? I know I’m kind of a jackass, but not enough of one to actually think dyslexic people are stupid.”

“Good to know”, Steve replied.

“So, are we good?”

“I told you, we are.” Steve assured, smiling brighter than he had ever smiled at Billy before.

The knots in Billy’s stomach loosened, and his heart filled with warmth. So that was how it felt, when Steve’s sunshine fell upon you? Billy couldn’t wait to experience that feeling again.

“We should get back to Robin.”

“We should” Billy echoed, before following Steve, awestruck.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 11

The Holidays in NYC: Dec 2017   

Word count: 3.3k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Aurora had always loved Christmas growing up. The chill in the air, the lights and decorations strewn around town and the towering pine tree in the corner of the bar. There were never many presents under it; usually a small something her mother could pull together and art supplies from Helen and Greg, but Christmas was never about the presents in their home. Instead, the festive season meant going ice skating with Ella after school, Christmas Eve waffles with her mum, carols to be performed at the piano, and Helen teaching her to make gingerbread biscuits and plum pudding. Even after Louise‘s death tarnished Christmas Eve and left a heavy cloud hanging over Christmas Day, the month of December still brought so much joy to Aurora's life and she made a choice once she moved to New York to focus on only the happy memories she had from childhood, knowing that if she didn’t then this time of year would slowly crush her under the weight of her grief. The atmosphere completely changed in Manhattan with the Christmas spirit and she loved every little aspect of the season. In the city, Christmas was now filled with new traditions like picking out a tree with her fathers and stringing lights with Nat and Bruce. It was introducing Steve and Bucky to cringey festive movies and ice skating in central park with Harry. It wasn’t the same as it had been growing up in London, there were far more presents under the tree now and the family around the table much bigger and louder, but despite these changes or perhaps because of them Christmas remained Aurora’s favourite time of year.

Now, however, there was pained edge to all the festive joy. She still loved ice skating in Central Park and strolling through the Christmas markets, but the cold seeped into her bones, chilling her in a way it never had before Columbia; the ache in her left arm and shoulder a constant reminder of the bullets that had ripped her apart 3 years ago. She was good at hiding her discomfort most of the time, holding back grimaces and fighting back the urge to rub at her residual limb as it throbbed. The full impact of winter had made itself known when she had returned to New York with Harry after the bands final performance before going on hiatus and while most of the people around her were unaware of her struggle, Harry caught on quite quickly. She hadn’t really been that surprised when he realised she was struggling a few days after returning from the band’s final performance on X Factor. They had just returned back to the tower from a walk in Central Park and while Steve was putting the final touches on dinner, Aurora had quietly excused herself from the room. Harry had quickly joined her, finding her curled in on herself in the hallway rubbing at the ache in her shoulder. Ever since that year Harry had always made a conscious effort to help her through the winter months, always on hand with heat pads, a massage, a steaming hot bath or even a surprise getaway to a warmer location. Rori tried not to let her body’s protests impede her activities however she now paid more attention to the forecast so as not to be heading outside on the worst days and she always rugged up with thicker jackets than most people would deem necessary.

This year was no different with the aches setting in while they were exploring Tokyo and only worsening as they settled back into life in the tower. Steve and Tony had already picked out the tree for the penthouse before their arrival but the last of the ornaments had been left for Aurora to place, the carefully wrapped hand painted baubles from her childhood added in amongst the Avengers themed ornaments that Clint had gifted the family ironically a few years earlier. As he did every year, Harry voiced his argument against Die Hard being a Christmas movie, but despite his grumbling he allowed his wife to pull him onto the sofa and curled up against her as Bruce Willis saved the day. With the time off from tour, Rori took the opportunity to throw herself back into her painting and spent hours at a time working in comfortable silence with Steve in their studio. A few days before Christmas, Anne and Gemma flew into town and Anne happily joined Steve in the kitchen to prep for the gigantic Christmas dinner required to feed the large group that would be in attendance. The pair shooed any offers of assistance, knowing that it would be more of a hindrance than a help, leaving Harry and Rori plenty of time to spend with Gemma. The three of them binged crappy Netflix Christmas movies and caught each other up on everything from tour and Gemma’s own adventures over the past few months, happy to just be spending time together.

xXx

Christmas Eve started quietly on the penthouse floor of Avengers Tower. Ever since their formation, the Avengers followed the unwritten rule to steer clear, either remaining on their own residential floors or leaving the tower altogether. Tony had remained up in the lab till the early hours of the morning, so he was sleeping away most of the day while Steve and Anne were baking for the following day in the kitchen and Gemma had made plans to catch up with friends, leaving early after a quick breakfast.

Sometime around mid-morning, Harry had appeared in the kitchen, kissing his mother on the cheek as he silently passed by her to make two mugs of coffee. He also poured some cereal and heated up a pop tart before placing it all on a tray and carrying it back to the bedroom where Rori was buried under the duvet. Anne and Steve remained silent as they watched him trudge back down the hallway, his hair sleep mussed and sticking in every direction. Steve placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as Anne frowned at her sons dejected demeanour and slumped shoulders. Her normally loud and goofy boy wore his heart on his sleeve, and she ached to see him shouldering his wife grief without complaint. She was proud of him for it, but it didn’t make it any less painful to watch.

Of course, what Anne failed to realise was that it was not only Rori’s grief burdening his shoulder and pinching his brows together. It was weighing heavily on him that this would be their first Christmas without Robin and he was fighting against the urge to wallow in that sense of loss. Looking after Rori on the anniversary of losing her mother, her home and her childhood was a much needed distraction and he welcomed the diversion. It was always easier for him to be the shoulder to lean on than to be the one in need of leaning, a trait he shared with his wife which was understandably not always great for communication or dealing with heavy emotions but they managed the best they could.

After a slow morning spent in bed, they made their way downstairs to the arts studio so that Rori could throw herself into another painting. She was in no mood to talk, so Harry simple set himself up on the sofa with his latest book, content to merely be a comforting presence so that Aurora knew she wasn’t alone. As darkness fell outside and dinner time approached JARVIS softly let them know that Tony was ordering in Chinese and asking for their orders.

Once JARVIS announced that the food had arrived, they made their way back upstairs to where Tony and Steve had queued up a Christmas movie and Gemma and Anne were already waiting on the sofa with them, both nursing glasses of red wine. Rori happily wedged herself between Tony and Harry after piling dumplings, noodles, and spring rolls on her plate and settled in as the movie began.

The Chinese food was long since polished off and they were debating which movie to watch next when Steve disappeared to the kitchen. He returned a little while later once they had settled on the next film with plates of waffles for everyone and all the toppings weighing down the tray it was all balanced on. Aurora bit back tears at the simple gesture. Looking around at the family surrounding her caused the heavy weight of grief in her chest to flare. Carrying on this little part of her life with Louise made her miss her mother more than words could express, but it also kept her closer and in some small way included her in the new family that Rori had surrounded herself with, both with her dads and with Harry’s mum and sister. She knew that her mum would have loved everyone in this room and Rori was certain that it would always feel unfair to her that it required losing her mum in order to find those surrounding her now.

xXx

Without speaking about it, Harry and Aurora instinctively swapped rolls once they woke Christmas morning. Where Harry had taken it upon himself to support Aurora through her own grief the previous day, now it was Rori’s turn to help her husband, as well as Anne and Gemma as they navigated their way through their first Christmas without Robin.

Harry was already awake when Rori fluttered her eyes open to the soft morning light filtering in through her window. She rolled over to find him staring at the ceiling and without saying a word she wrapped herself around him, pulling him tightly against her and placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. They remained silent for long minutes before Harry finally broke out of his haunting daze. “Merry Christmas,” he murmured, turning in his wife’s arms to kiss her gently.

“Merry Christmas,” she replied softly, returning the kiss. “Do you want to talk about it or is it better to not acknowledge it?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, his voice deep and laced with pain. “I feel like if I even say his name, I’ll burst into tears but then not talking about it feels like I’m trying to forget about him.”

“I know it’s hard baby,” Rori replied, “but whatever you decide is ok. If it hurts too much to talk about it, then that is ok. Doesn’t mean you don’t still love him or that he doesn’t matter. You have to do what’s best for you. Nothing to apologize for or feel any guilt about.”

“I love you,” Harry said, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

“I love you too, H,” she replied, carding her fingers through his hair.

They remained in bed for a while after that, wrapped up in each other before finally getting up and getting dressed to head down the hall to where the rest of the family were gathered in the living room. Harry fell onto the sofa next to his mother, curling up into her side while Gemma sat on her other side. Anne happily threw her arms around both of her children and Rori took up a spot on the floor at Steve’s feet, leaning back against his calves.

“I made breakfast for everyone,” Steve offered once they were both settled. “You want me to make either of you something?”

“I’m good thanks Pops,” Rori answered. “I’ll just wait for lunch. H?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled.

“Coffee?” Tony yelled from the kitchen.

“Coffee please,” Rori yelled back, shooting a brief worried glance at Harry when he once again declined the offer. He seemed to be trying to melt into both the sofa beneath him and his mother beside him. Anne met her gaze across the room and offered a small supportive smile as she squeezed Harry’s shoulders a little tighter in her hug. In that small silent exchange between the two of them, the conversation was clear, they would do anything to help the man they both loved through his pain and it left Aurora in awe of Anne’s strength in that moment, only being able to imagine how much of her own grief she was pushing aside to be present for her son.

They remained in the living room for the remainder of the morning as the other members of the Avengers slowly made their way up from their own floors until the room was bursting with Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Bucky, Peter, May, Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey. Steve and Anne had outdone themselves and lunch was incredible. Everyone was bursting at the seams by the time they tapped out, leaving plenty of leftovers to feed them all for the next week and they finished the afternoon with eggnog and cheesy Christmas rom coms as the sun set outside and the TV and the lights on the Christmas tree provided a soft glow to the room.

xXx

2 days after Christmas Rori borrowed one of her father’s cars and crossed the East River to drive out to the North Shore on Long Island. She arrived at Oheka Castle a little after 9 and after parking, she was almost immediately pulled into a hug from Liam who had arrived a few minutes before her, having come straight from the airport.

“It is so good to see you, darling.”

“Good to see you too, Li,” Rori replied warmly. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Liam replied, taking her hand, and leading her inside and out of the cold. “How’s H?” he asked as the climbed the front steps.

“He’s good. Enjoying spending some time with Gem and Anne while they’re visiting but he said he’s looking forward to dinner tonight. How are Bear and Cheryl?”

“They’re great. You should see Bear lately. He’s pulling himself up to stand and I’m sure he’ll be walking within the next few weeks.”

“Can’t wait to give him a big cuddle when we’re back in London in a few weeks.”

They continued to catch up throughout the day while they roamed the property and decided on locations for different scenes for the music video they would be filming over the course of the next few days. Aurora also had a final fitting for her dresses and then the day was over, and Liam joined Aurora in the car for the drive back into the city.

Harry met them in Williamsburg where they had dinner at a food truck that Rori had read about and then wandered around until they found a dive bar with an open mic and grabbed a booth in the back corner where the lights were low and they were less likely to be recognized. It was a such a fun night, with all three of them having missed hanging out together and just getting to pretend that they were normal friends in their early 20s just out for drinks after work. By the end of the night, Aurora’s cheeks ached from laughing too hard and she wrapped an arm around each of the boys as they stumbled out of the bar and down the street, winding their way back to where she had parked, giggling hysterically in the way that only drunk people did. Having always been the sober member of the group, Rori had discovered years ago that nights out were far more fun when you let the drunks sweep you up in their high and because of that she knew that to anyone watching the three of them right now, no one would believe that she wasn’t just as drunk as the two men hanging off her shoulders. They finally managed to make it back to the car and Rori drove them back over the Williamsburg Bridge and through lower Manhattan until they reached the tower and called it a night.

xXx

The first day of filming began in hair and makeup with Rori having her hair curled, while a red lipstick and a dark smoky eye was applied by a lovely girl called Jessica. Once her look was finished, she slipped into a red backless tulle gown, over which she wore a heavy black winter coat as she made her way out into the gardens for her first scene. The crew were already set up and ready to go by the time she arrived and after chatting with the director, Hannah, for a few minutes, Rori slipped out of her jacket and approached the top of the short set of steps that she would be filmed descending while she sang.

“Ready?” Hannah called and when Rori nodded in reply, the studio recording of For You started playing and Aurora stepped forward, staring down the barrel of the camera while she lip-synced along to herself.

“Cut!” the director called.

“Holy fucking shit Hannah,” Rori yelled. “It’s cold as balls.”

“I’m sorry Aurora,” Hannah replied. “I know it’s uncomfortable, but I promise you it’ll be worth it. You look fantastic.”

“Let’s just keep moving before I freeze to death, yeah?”

“You heard the lady,” Hannah smiled. “Let’s get set for the next shot.

Rori spent the remainder of the day running around the estates beautiful rose garden, cursing Liam and his warm, comfortable room inside where he was filming. The following day she was still outside in the garden, now suspended in a harness as she floated in the air, trying to pretend that she wasn’t shivering to death. Aurora was very excited when they reached day 3 as she finally joined Liam to film inside after enduring the frigid New York winter air in the sheer gown that did very little to protect her from the elements. She was in a different dress now and the new challenge was no longer pretending not to shiver, but instead acting romantic with Liam. Many takes were ruined when one of them broke into giggles but eventually Hannah called a wrap on the video and after changing out of their costumes, they drove back into the city to spend a final evening together as Liam was flying home the following day to spend New Years Eve with his family. They parted with wishes of Happy New Years and plans to see each other at the end of January when they would perform the song on the Tonight Show to promote the Fifty Shades movie it was attached to.

xXx

As he did every year, Tony once again hosted a massive New Year’s Eve party, filling the penthouse floor of the tower with the who’s who of New York City. Having learned from their mistakes on the first New Years following Columbia, Harry and Aurora were now well practiced in how to handle the night while navigating around her PTSD. This year was no different and they joined in the party upstairs, catching up with familiar faces and dancing the night away. With half an hour to go until the ball dropped, they made their way to the elevator riding the car down to the sound proofed recording studio that would be their refuge for the remainder of the night. Earlier in the day, Harry had set up a nest of pillows and blankets, as well as setting out snacks and drinks. they settled in to watch a movie and see in the new year while avoiding the fireworks. They fell asleep cuddled together on the floor of the studio and Steve woke them the following morning, having made pancakes and waffles to welcome in 2018. Unlike most of the towers residences there wasn’t a single hangover amongst Tony, Steve, Harry and Rori, allowing for the four of them to get an early start on the day.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[unavenged-robin]

I’ve realized I’ve never written about Barbara and Damian before, so I corrected myself. Have some whump from the DickBat Era.

-

Barbara doesn’t panic. Ever. It’s not her style. She usually doesn’t get angry either, not right away at least, because anger is not her way of dealing with things. But this is Dick, here in front of her, strapped down to a gurney, unconscious and almost blue and still oh so cold at the touch. And the damn kid is just. not. speaking.

“How long?”, she asks.

Damian ignores her, his face unreadable behind the domino mask. He's staring at an undefined spot above Dick's head like he's trying to pierce the wall with the power of his mind.

“Robin, look at me!”, Barbara snaps in her best Oracle voice, and if Dick were awake he would start singsonging something like oooh someone’s angry in that annoying, teasing voice she’s hated for years, because it’s one of the few things that actually manages to get under her skin when she’s under pressure. But Dick is not awake, that’s the whole point. So she’s free to get as angry as she likes.

Not that her anger's having much of an impact, anyway, since Damian does turn towards her, but he does it slowly, like she’s an inconvenience to be endured.

“Two hours”, he answers with the same aplomb, and Barbara never thought that one day she'd want to slap a child so badly she’d have to actually restrain herself, but she clutches the wheels of her chair tightly enough for her knuckles to go white, and she counts three heartbeats before speaking again.

“And it took you two hours to call for reinforcement? Two hours to push a goddamn button and get in contact with me, or Tim, or Alfred-”

“I called Brown”, Damian interrupts her, flat as pancake.

“What?”

“Brown. The current Batgirl”, Damian explains, like he’d really need to. “She didn’t answer.”

“Of course not”, Barbara snaps again. “She’s in Chicago this week.”

And Damian didn’t have to know that, because knowing that it’s not the point. The point is that he should’ve called her, and he should’ve done so the very moment Dick had been hit. Barbara pushes her glasses back up her nose and looks at the boy with the same intensity that Damian’s using to stare at the wall.

“Dick could’ve died, Damian”, she spells out, loud and clear. “Freeze’s gun could’ve killed him as easily as a bullet to the head, do you really not understand it? Do you care so little for him?”

“I called Brown”, Damian insists, with a little more strain in his voice, and Barbara gets the message all too well: I trust her. I don’t trust you. That only makes her even more ruthless.

“Stephanie is not your contact, I am. Alfred is. This is the protocol, and you should know it by now”, she says, not yelling, but letting her voice vibrating all the same. “If you don’t, then you don’t deserve that costume you’re wearing, and Dick was a fool to give it to you.”

She expects her anger to be countered by Damian’s less than pacific temperament when it comes to take criticism, but the kid doesn’t react, doesn’t insult her, doesn’t even try to defend himself.

He just stands there, watching the wall above Dick’s head like it would help anything.

Deflated, Barbara goes back to the monitors, to the steady heartbeat line and the rhythmic beeping of the machinery, which is all is left to fill the silence around them.

*

“He said not to worry you.”

Damian’s voice is soft, almost too low to be heard, especially after something like two hours of complete silence. Barbara turns around, sees the kid still standing in the same spot, the mask still on his face, his gaze still on the wall. She’s vaguely surprised to discover Damian can be so quiet for so long.

“What?”

“Grayson said not to worry you”, Damian repeats. “That he was fine.”

And you believed him?, Barbara almost asks, but she stops herself in time. Of course Damian had believed him. Everybody believes Dick when he says that everything’s going to be fine: he’s so charming, so convincing, so very, very, believable. And it’s always so comforting to have someone that in a bad situation will always be able to smile at you and tell you that things will be okay. Barbara’s guilty of having committed that same mistake over and over again, and without having the excuse of being a child or the latest addition to the family.

So she sighs, grabs the chair by Dick's bed and drags it next to hers.

“Sit”, she says.

More than the silence, more than the lack of insults and temper tantrums, is the way Damian follows her order that gives her a measure of just how much the kid’s not in himself right now. Barbara had assumed that he hadn't really understood the situation, or at least that he had seriously underestimated the danger of it, but it’s now obvious that she was wrong: Damian understands all too well, and he’s scared just like her.

She waits for the kid to sit down, then she turns back to stare at Dick’s profile, almost in anger because he really ought to know better.

“Listen to me. I won’t repeat this ever again, and especially not in front of him, but you need to know this, you have to learn it by heart and believe it”, she pauses a second, allowing herself to remember a night of many years ago, when she had given the same speech to a much younger Dick, while being not that much older than him at the time. The problem with Robins is that they all have the same weak spot, apparently. “You’re Batman’s partner, and that means that sometimes you’ll have to decide what’s best for him the same way sometimes he will decide what’s best for you. Otherwise one of you will be killed either to follow an order, or by not following it at all. And both ways are stupid ways to die, is that clear?”

Damian lets her words settle down, then he shrugs without refusing nor agreeing with her, which is more of what Barbara was expecting.

“If at some point you called Stephanie, it means that you thought a backup was necessary. And if you think a backup is necessary you call everyone. It doesn’t matter what Batman says, what his orders are. If you are in doubt, you call me.”

Next to her, Damian stiffens.

“He said-”

“It doesn’t matter what he said”, Barbara interrupts him, not too harshly. “You’re Robin, you don’t need his permission to call me.”

“I know”, Damian answers weakly.

Barbara’s not so sure about that, but she doesn’t say it.

“I’m trusting you with his life every night”, she continues. Normally she would feel uncomfortable about putting such a heavy responsibility on a child's shoulders, but Damian’s not most children, he ticks in a different way. And, apparently, he tries to listen to them sometimes. So she goes out on a limb and actually reaches out to take the kid’s hand in hers, and if he’s surprised by her gesture he hides it well and, most importantly, he doesn’t reject it. Still, Barbara makes sure Damian’s looking at her when she says: “I need you to trust me too, kiddo.”

Damian scrunches up his nose, and it’s difficult to say if he does so in faked contempt or because he’s trying to hide a stronger emotion, but Barbara chooses to believe that Dick’s right about this kid, that there’s lots of good in him, and not just because he’s Bruce’s son, but because he’s here, with them, trying harder than ever to do the right thing.

“Okay?”, she asks, and she smiles for the first time tonight.

Damian doesn’t say okay, doesn’t even nod, but he squeezes her fingers a little, and doesn’t let go of her hand as they both turn to Dick once again.

[gideongrace]

7. "I just don't. Want to! Why is that so hard to understand?" + 40. "You might as well just walk around with a sign around your neck saying 'perpetual asshole' on it." 💜💜💜💜

Today is Steve's first day back at work since the accident and it's also Billy's day off so he's had nothing to do but sit and worry and think everything to death since Steve left this morning. 

He's been texting back and forth with Steve since then, trying to keep it light, keep it easy all while also texting Max and snapping at every single thing she says. Because no amount of time nor effort nor therapy could ever truly make him not the kind of asshole who handles stress real poorly. But. At least he isn't snapping at Steve. At least there's that.

//

Today is Steve's first day back at work and it's… good. It's great. It's… fine. Really. 

Okay, he's miserable. His feet hurt after only having been on them for three hours because after having been reduced to basically lying on his ass on the couch for months, his stamina is garbage and his arm is sore and his everything else aches seemingly just because the rest of his body parts didn't want to miss out on the party his feet and his arm are apparently having and…

It sucks. 

The only thing keeping him going is texting Billy, even if Billy is pretending to be cool about everything rather than be honest and admit how stressed out he is about this. Steve expects to head to Billy's apartment at the end of the day and find that he's punched a hole into the wall. He's got 'nearest hardware stores' pulled up as a google search tab in the browser on his phone, just in case.

"Oh no, by all means, go ahead, laugh at my misery."

Steve's head snaps up as Dustin comes stomping into the kitchen followed closely by Robin and rather than pay attention to what Dustin just said, Robin is on Steve in an instant, dragging the tall, ugly stool over from the far side of the kitchen for Steve to sit on because she can tell just by looking at him, can tell just from the way he'd been leaning against the wall that he's exhausted just by standing. 

He sits down in the proffered chair without complaint and Dustin continues on with his rant like he'd never been interrupted in the first place. "Like. I just don't. Want to! Why is that so hard to understand?"

Steve looks at Dustin, then at Robin, who shrugs uselessly, before looking back to Dustin. "I take it your date didn't go very well?" 

Dustin huffs out a breath in the most dramatic, most Dustin way possible. "No, it did not."

Robin giggles and shoves her hand in front of her face before muttering, almost unintelligibly, "Tell him what happened." 

Dustin's face crumples up so hard it begins to resemble a crushed soda can more than it does a face, but he says, "He showed me a naked picture of himself in the middle of the date as a way to, I think, proposition me for sex." 

Steve feels his eyes try to separate themselves from his skull. He has no idea what to say to that so he just winds up gaping at Dustin blankly and fighting his eyeballs and their unrelenting urge to flee.

"Oh, he was totally trying to fuck you," Robin says. "He wanted him some curly haired nerd boy real bad." She giggles uproariously.

Dustin makes a noise somewhere between a grunt and a squeak. "And, as I have said a million times before, I. Do. Not. Want. That." 

With a grunt of his own, though its one borne of exhaustion and not defeat, Steve gets to his feet and goes to pat Dustin reaffirmingly on the shoulder. "I know, man," he says, because he does.

Before meeting Billy, his dating life had been the exact same way. A complete and unmitigated disaster.

//

Max gets home from class sometime after one, spends ten minutes listening to Billy groan softly to himself and throw the same ball against the wall again and again and again before finally deciding she's had enough and dragging him out to Navy Pier. It's tacky and cliche and touristy… and also the only place in the entirety of basically landlocked Illinois that even remotely reminds either of them of California. And it's not that it looks the same. Or that it feels the same. But that it's a pier with a ferris wheel and that's about as close as either of them is going to get around here.

So they go. And sometimes they go a lot considering as they both quite frequently miss California but also love Chicago and the people they've grown to know and love here.

It usually cheers one or both of them up when they're bummed out or angry or sad or whatever and today Max drags Billy, same as always, thinking it'll work its usual magic, same as always. 

Only it doesn't.

They wander around the tacky little gift shops and nothing. 

She buys him an ice cream and nothing.

She offers to ride on the ferris wheel with him and nothing. 

The only thing that gets him to smile even a little is a bakery with some plain little cupcakes out on display that he immediately takes pictures of and then starts texting, she thinks, Steve. 

And that's when she gets the idea.

//

Dustin sighs. "Thank you, Steven. You on the other hand"—he turns to glare at Robin—"You might as well just walk around with a sign around your neck saying 'perpetual asshole' on it." 

Robin huffs, clearly unbothered by Dustin's accusation. "You know I support your right to not fuck whoever you please. I just think your reactions are funny." 

Steve's phone goes off and he struggles not to check it. 

"And a guy showing you naked pictures of himself in the middle of a date is hilarious," Robin says, grin nearly splitting her face in two.

Dustin scowls and Steve's phone goes off again and he loses the battle not to check it.

He has two texts from Billy. The first is a picture of some cupcakes with pastel blue icing. The second says, "Yours are better," and Steve can't help but smile.

When he looks up Dustin is still scowling only now it's being directed at him. 

"What?" Steve asks, fully not getting it.

Dustin grumbles something Steve doesn't quite catch, throws his hands up in the air full drama queen style and stomps back out to the front room.

"What?" Steve says again, this time to Robin. 

Robin's still smiling but the meaning behind it changes a little. Now it's less like she's having a good time and more like she's about to explain something to him. (And she just loves explaining things to him.) "He's just mad you have someone while all he can find are losers," she says.

"Oh." 

Robin shrugs like, "What can you do?" and she says, "Yeah." 

//

"I got an idea," Max says. 

Billy looks up, not exactly curious, but not… not curious, either. 

"Come on," she says, holding a hand out to him. He takes it, but he looks suspicious.

She doesn't tell him where they're going, just drags him to her car and makes him get in.

//

They arrive at the bakery and Billy sighs partly in annoyance with Max for coming up with the idea and making it some big secret, partly at himself for not getting it sooner than four blocks ago and partly in relief because annoyed as he might be at Max, he needs to be here and he's glad she's dragged him.

He walks in and the second he does, Dustin grumbles at him, "Of course you're here. Because you're perfect!" And it sounds like an insult, it has the tone of one, but Billy doesn't remotely get why or what for.

"Why—" Billy starts but Max's burst of laughter cuts him off.

Dustin makes a very loud noise and points to the kitchen. "Your boyfriend's in the back," he says, sour as anything.

Max laughs again and Billy just shrugs and heads for the back. He claps Dustin on the shoulder as he passes by and manages to keep his laughter to himself, but none of this impresses Dustin. 

The kitchen is worse (read: weirder) than the front room had been because the second Billy steps through this door Robin shouts, "Billy! Yes! Please take your idiot boyfriend home!" 

Steve glowers at her and slowly—much too slowly to mean anything other than he needs to be taken home right now—gets up off his ugly, little stool and comes to stand by Billy. "I'm fine," he growls.

This time Billy speaks before Robin can get to it. "Yeah... considering how long it took you to get up off your stool and walk over to me I'd say you're not." 

Robin nods at him and he nods back and Steve grunts, "What? Are you two conspiring against me now?" He looks to Robin. "Did you text him and ask him to come get me?" 

Billy huffs. "No. Max brought me. I was being miserable and she dragged me to the Pier and when that didn't work she dragged me here." He puts a heavy hand on Steve's good side and Steve melts under the touch almost completely.

Billy waits for Steve to say something, or for Robin to, but when neither of them does, he leans in and kisses Steve, gentle and quick. 

"Let's go home, yeah? This was good enough for a first day." 

Fortunately, this is all the convincing Steve seems to need and he lets Billy lead him out of the bakery and to Max's crusty, old orange Beetle. 

Max is incorrigible the entire drive back. She doesn't say anything in terms of words, but the smug smirk plastered all over her face says everything.

//

They go to Billy's without even discussing it.

Steve's not brave enough to admit it out loud yet, but he's started thinking of this place as 'home' as much as he hopes Billy thinks it is. And maybe he does. After all, Billy did say, "Let's go home?" didn't he? Not "Let's go to my place" or "Let's go, we'll pick where later" or even just "Let's go". He said, very specifically, "Let's go home." So maybe he meant it.

Or maybe it was just a casual slip of the tongue and Steve is overthinking things.

There isn't time to talk about it, though, even if Steve had wanted to, because Billy starts directing him towards the bedroom the second Max opens the front door and Steve is asleep the second he lies down on the bed and his head hits the pillow.