#Rinny writes

[rinnyman]

Spotify Headcanons pt. 2

At long last!

Part one here. Part three

Disclaimer: I ship Alejandro and Rudy so I wrote it in’s as a poly relationship but if you don’t like it that way you don’t have to read it like that. Laswell in this is completely platonic btw.

Alejandro

Definitely has a lot of Latin-American music on his playlist.

Probs has country music as well but prefers music without lyrics

Has lot of slow music so he can play if while cooking with his partners and dance with you or Rudy in the kitchen while they food simmers or burns

The three of you would end up laughing and order something off of DoorDash instead.

He will listen to what you sent him but he’s secretly glad he has Spotify Premium because he’s skipping the songs he doesn’t like.

Rudy

Mostly country and Latin rap

probably a little bit of rock music

He doesn’t listen to much so he isn’t sure what to send you so he just asks you what music you like and send you a playlist made for you.

He treasures the playlist you sent him but he apologizes for not listening to it.

Laswell

This woman listens to Mitski and Girl in Red and you can’t change my mind.

You will find a fair share of classical music and maybe a bit of Jazz music in her playlists.

She listens to soft music that you’d play when it’s raining or you’re studying

She definitely helps you with your homework (she calls you kiddo as a nickname)

She would smile as her wife, Anne, brings you guys fresh tea and cookies. (That woman is so sweet and make it obvious how Kate fell in love with her)

She’ll look through your playlist and smile at the songs she knows.

Horangi

Despite popular belief he does not listen to K-pop.

He actually prefers lo-fi hip hop

He has a playlist he listens to when he is getting set for missions.

He will listen to your music and save the ones he likes in a playlist with a picture of you as the cover.

Very soft boi and will sleep to his music while cuddling you

König

Lots of rock and rave music

He uses music as a way to help with his anxiety with his earbuds in when in crowds.

He has a few soft songs and when they come on this man will look at you with a dopey smile before asking you to dance.

It’s awkward at first but you guys eventually get it even if the song had ended and you were just dancing to whatever was playing now.

He tries to be gentle with you but he isn’t awkward about it.

If you send him music he saves the playlist and listens to it on deployment when he can’t sleep.

If you have anyone you’d like to see please feel free to send in an ask. I’ll gladly put them in the next one. I am doing these in groups of five.

[rinny-rae]

I associate Gortash with violence far more than sex tbh & it’s far easier to imagine him in extreme life or death situations.

He is so much more comfortable getting his ass beat than he is with any level of intimacy imo

[capitanology]

hsr men and their love !

— or how they show their love towards you + the little moments you have with them | including. . .aventurine, dr ratio, jing yuan, dan heng

content warning: nothing, all fluff!

word count: 1.9k

AVENTURINE WHO. . .

yes, will shower you with lavish gifts and makes sure that only the finest of silks adorns your body because you deserve only the best of everything. it makes his heart swell with fondness each time his eyes catches sight of you covered in his love, that being the items he procured without much effort yet still remained thoughtful all the same.

but aventurine also loves the downtime that comes after the end of a mission, when he stumbles through the doorway of both yours and his home in the middle of the night, searching for your familiar presence. and when he opens the bedroom door, his gaze falling on you in the middle of it all, he welcomes the sight of you sleeping in between the sheets of his blanket, figure curling around his soft pillow you claimed will help you sleep well when he's not around.

the smallest of smiles graced his lips and for the first time since his mission started, his body was able to relax, his shoulders sagging down with the weight of his tiredness as the tension leaves. walking over to you, he gently positions himself on the side of the bed, eyes never once straying away from your form. his hand reaches out to lightly cup your cheek before he presses a light kiss to your forehead.

"mm...aven?"

the feather touch made you stir from your sleep, despite aventurine trying his best to not wake you up. a quiet chuckle left his lips at your (very adorable, might he add) display, not able to hold back from giving you another kiss to your cheek.

"yes, my love. i'm back. shall we rest together now?"

DR. RATIO WHO. . .

tends to express his love for you in a rather roundabout manner. somehow, his upfront attitude that most are familiar with disappears when it comes to any little thing that concerns you.

it was glaringly obvious, you think, with the way he lends his assistance whenever you struggle with your work under the guise of it being 'unpleasant to see a capable scholar floundering about, no less his own partner'. it might sound a bit harsh to others, but you knew of his affection, with the way his features would always soften whenever he spoke those words to you. besides, him offering to aid you is already enough of an indication of his endearment.

though sometimes, there are moments where he would instead let his actions speak for him his thoughts.

the grandfather clock's ticking resounded within ratio's office, the two of you bathing in each other's company as you worked on your own set of papers while he busies himself with another thesis of his. this isn't a rare sight; rather, it was a routine that you kept up with him, often ending the day by each other's side while trying to finish the remaining tasks.

it was during these times that ratio lets his gaze travel to you, who usually remained absorbed in your work. it was no different this time, his eyes catching sight of you being deeply concentrated in solving the particular problem you were stuck on.

ratio rarely gets distracted from his tasks, but as you sit there across from him, he could only let his mind run rampant with thoughts of you and only you. of how endearing it is to see you frown in frustration, lips raw from how many times you bit it as you struggle to solve the damn problem.

observing how the stack of papers on your side of the desk still remained tall, ratio sets aside his finished papers before silently taking half of your paper stack, which didn't go unnoticed by you.

"what are you doing?" you rose a brow, seeing how he had already started to scribble along the surface of your papers.

"what do you think i'm doing?" he replied without missing a beat, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

the sight of your confused expression nearly made him chuckle but he held it back, not wanting to let his thoughts show.

"well..." you drawled out, a small smile building itself on your lips when you catch on what he's doing. "i think you're helping me. isn't that right, dr ratio?"

the use of his formal title made him huff slightly, preferring you to call him only by his name. yet as his eyes flitted over to you, seeing your fond gaze as you leaned back against the chair, ratio could only return your teasing words with his own.

"seeing as to how you're struggling to complete your tasks, it seems that you need a helping hand lest you remain here all night long," he refuted, lips quirking up. "though i would not mind doing so with you."

JING YUAN WHO. . .

lives for the idle touches and fleeting gazes whenever you pass him by during work hours. known for his lackadaisical nature when it comes to his duties as a general, there was also another part of him that is often talked about; that is his utter admiration for you. hence the moment those conversing with him for official duties notice you walk into the room, they have already prepared themselves for what is to come next.

"yes, general. from the patrol guards' inspection, it was deduced that..."

the guard's voice trailed off in the middle of his daily report to jing yuan when he noticed you entering the general's personal office, gathering both his and jing yuan's attention. almost instantly, he can see jing yuan's slumped figure straighten, eyes brighter than a moment ago when he was listening to him recalling the day's events. knowing there is nothing that can pull away the general's focus once it settled on you, the guard gave him his goodbyes and left promptly at jing yuan's dismissive nod.

you rose a brow at the exchange, not able to even voice out your questions about it when his hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you close to his side of the table. lifting your palm close to his face, jing yuan begins to pepper light kisses all over the skin, reveling in your warmth.

"what's this about? so clingy," you teased, though such clinginess was not out of the ordinary.

you knew that if he could, he would stick by your side throughout the entire day.

"is it wrong for me to shower my lovely partner with affection?" his lips quirked up at the sound of your voice, head tilting back to look at your face.

"of course not," you returned his grin with one of your own, now tugging on his hand instead. "well, i was wondering if my lovely partner would want to relax with me in the garden today? it's nearing lunch time anyways."

"anything you desire, my dear."

as much as he loves to spend his free time (or official hours) laying around under the tree's shade, letting the sun shine down on his face, nothing beats the comfort that embraces his entire being when his head is on your lap and he's basking in your warmth instead.

DAN HENG WHO. . .

adores you silently, quietly, with small actions and soft touches; making your coffee in the mornings just the way you like it, covering you with his comfort blanket each time you fall asleep when digging through the archives with him, offering his aid when you're swamped with too many work on the astral express.

for those without a keen eye, perhaps he may come off as a passionless lover, but when you look closely, you notice the way his eyes light up the moment he catches you across the room, and the delicate hold he has on your hand as you walk through the crowded streets. and with every little thing that he does with love behind them, you can only take them with an open heart and a fond smile, knowing that they were only for you to understand and know.

but there are times when his love for you grabs him by the chokehold, and all he could do was profess his affection for you in the most random of manner.

it was silent aboard the astral express, march and the rest of the members currently sleeping in their own rooms. you however, was not in your own room.

curled up beside dan heng, in your hands was a thick book filled with various kinds of information relevant to your upcoming mission to a new planet. the pages were the thickest you had ever seen, and you were barely halfway through the content when your eyes started to droop heavily with sleep.

"you should go ahead and rest," dan heng's voice woke you up from the nth time you had dozed off, and immediately you shook your head, trying to will away the tiredness.

"nooo, i still have a lot to go through," your words almost sounded like a whine with how you drawled them out, hands rubbing your eyes.

"there's still enough time for you to finish it. your mission is in the next few days right?"

"yeah, but i doubt that i can finish this much in a short amount of time," you pushed the book into his sight, and he could only chuckle at your actions.

"it's fine. you'll finish it," dan heng sighed softly, flicking your forehead gently. "so stop being stubborn and just sleep. i can already see the dark circles forming under your pretty eyes."

ignoring how his sudden compliment made your cheeks burn, you took his advice and closed the book, setting it to the corner before snuggling into dan heng's side, sighing at the warmth.

it was funny how light his heart felt at the sight, the endearment almost consuming him whole. if this is what it feels like to love another, to the point that he was able to suffocate within it, then dan heng thought that perhaps he would willingly die loving you. the idea of it was overwhelming and taken in by the way your figure wrapped around him so comfortably, his lips moved on their own.

"i love you."

the atmosphere stills with his sudden confession, the words hanging in the air. your head had whipped up to look at him, confusion swirling in your eyes before quiet giggles left you when you notice the perplexed expression on his face.

"why do you look so confused?" your voice shook with amusement, loving the way his gaze avert yours, cheeks flushing a deep red. "you've said it many times before, didn't you?"

"of course," dan heng coughed, trying to will away the slight embarassment he feels at suddenly proclaiming his love.

it wasn't that he hate it, that is the act of speaking such words to you. it was the thought of being vulnerable, an unfamiliar action for him who has had to steel his heart and harden his resolve with the life he had lived so far. to speak of his love as easily as he did loving you, it was difficult; which is why he would rather shower you in it, with all the things that he does.

but then he looks at you now, eyes glinting in the light with lips curled up into that pretty smile he loves seeing from just his words and he thinks that perhaps it isn't so hard for him to profess his love to you every now and again as he did moments ago.

"...you still haven't say it back."

"yes, yes. i love you too."

a/n: i think i got carried away with ratio and dan heng...also! might make a part two of this with other characters

[choccorin]

(hc) rin would love to have something matching with his lover. it doesn't have to be a shirt or something extravagant, a simple jewelry would do. which is something he prefers.

a ring would be a nice. maybe a promise ring. you know the rings from howl's moving castle? something like that. or !!! the color of the gem/stone would be the eye color of the other person ! rin would have yours and you'd have his.

though, he's not really fond of the idea. he's always playing matches and sometimes they can get a bit messy (thinking about his plays when he's with shidou lol), he'll get too focused on the game and accidentally loses it mid game. or maybe, he might misplace it somewhere when he really needs to take it off and lose it. he never wants to lose something as precious as that, it'd hurt you and him.

a necklace is a nice option too. he'd prefer it to be silver and not too bulky, he hates how it feels. he's also not that worried about losing it because it's something that wouldn't just slip off from his fingers, not only that, it's a bit more visible to the public eye.

when he's doing interviews, he can wear it without the reporter nagging him about the ring on his ring finger. a sun and moon necklace would be cute .. you'd have the moon and he'd have the sun. yin yang cats would be cute too ... just a personal preference though. >_<

either way, he'd kiss the jewelry right before a game. it doesn't matter if it's just a practice match, he'll kiss it anyway. he'd kiss you if you were next to him, but if you're not then he'd kiss the ring or necklace instead. it's his way of giving a kiss on the cheek.

[rinny-rae]

Really securing my place in hell with this one

[capitanology]

within silence and solace | capitano x f!reader

synopsis: where you meet your beloved husband after he returns home from a long mission

content warning: nothing much tbh, just slight descriptions of blood/injury and that's it, all fluff hehe

word count: 1.2k

within the desolate manor, it was a rare occasion to have any sort of commotion. the only company you have is your personal maid and the silence that occupied the majority of your time. it isn't an unusual thing; ever since your union with the First Harbinger, you've learned to savor the tranquility that comes with his name and status. that is, being cared for and treated with utmost respect without any resistance or trouble.

perhaps those around you have noticed that each action done to you is extended to him as well. each strike against you is a strike against him, and nobody wanted to mess with a person like him. if it wasn't clear before, a certain incident with an insolent guest only further cemented the fact that you're the Harbinger's precious wife, with the way Capitano dealt with that arrogant man without any mercy as an example to the others who dare disrespect you. you were often alone since then, servants only appearing in times of urgent need or when you beckoned them.

all too afraid to make a mistake while serving you when the First Harbinger is in the palm of your hands.

sighing softly, you let yourself immerse in the peace and quiet of your personal library. your day went by the same as it did for the past few weeks, devoid of Capitano's presence. ever since he was called to deal with an unexpected mission, you've been quite alone trying to navigate in a household filled with nothing but the shadow of your own. of course, he isn't the most talkative nor the most open when it comes to spending time together, but he at least kept you company; listening to your stories, entertaining your requests to go for walks or out to town, eating meals together. as much as you loved being by yourself, you still missed the man you called your husband.

left to your own devices at your request without any interruptions, you returned your attention to the novel placed on your lap. curled up in a cozy armchair, kept warm by the burning fireplace, this was a preferred pastime of yours in this empty manor, especially when your husband's absence carved in a deeper sense of loneliness. with how hushed everything is, that's why when you heard the sudden clamoring of servants in this rarely noisy house, it tells you all that you needed to know.

swiftly snapping the book shut, you lifted yourself off from your comfortable position and made your way to the entrance of the manor. anticipation thrummed through your veins, pushing the thought of seeing him to the forefront of your mind. your heart thumped loudly, enough that you won't be surprised if anyone else could hear it. the moment you reached the top of the staircase, a subtle sense of warmth spread through your chest when your eyes catch sight of the man you've been waiting for. achingly, tirelessly.

his figure stood still amongst the bustling servants, towering over them with ease. from his disheveled look, it seems that he has just returned. just as you moved to go to where he is, his face turned to your direction, and despite not seeing anything, you could tell his gaze remained fixated on you even as you descend down the stairs. as if by clockwork, the servants seamlessly made way as you walked past, bowing before dispersing to give the two of you the privacy needed.

standing before him, your eyes take in the sight; coat stained with streaks of crimson, not missing even the metal armor of his helmet, his hair unruly and scratches all over. he was unkempt unlike how he usually was, but you would rather this than a grave injury, which you notice is absent. letting out a small breath of relief, you let your gaze move to his face, an empty void encaged by his signature helmet. without any words, your hands reached out to cup his cheeks (the most of what you could anyway), the cool metal making a slight shiver run down your spine. almost instantly, his body softened, tension leaving with just a single touch from you. your lips lifted slightly at his reaction, warmth blooming in your chest.

it seems that you weren't the only one yearning for the other.

"welcome home," your voice went into a whisper, only for him to hear.

at your words, Capitano could only press his face further into the palms of your hands, as if seeking for more of the comfort that only you can provide. letting him bask in this moment a little longer, you then pulled away to start removing his dirtied coat. it seems that he didn't take it too well though, instead chasing after you, not wanting the moment to end just yet. his hands reached out to grasp onto your waist and pulled you a tad bit closer, your bodies nearly touching. the sudden proximity made your heart flutter and you feel warmth blossoming across your cheeks.

it has been a long time since you've been this close and you wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, but the patches of blood along the lines of his clothes reminded you of how he was fresh from the battlefield. shaking your head, you took another step backwards.

"later," you mumbled, looking away and moving behind him instead. "your coat first. i need to remove it, my love. it reeks of blood."

patting his back lightly, you waited for him to acknowledge your words. a moment passed before you heard a barely audible grunt—as if unhappy with your denial to let him stay in your warmth—and the shuffling of clothes. a little chuckle left your lips at his reaction, the image of him pouting like a little child making you amused. a few seconds later, a bundled up coat fell into your open arms, its decorative fur covering nearly half of your face.

without the humongous coat that he always had on, his figure had shrunk a little, but still maintained his built figure. at the sight before you, your gaze roamed the entirety of his being once again, except this time for a much more different purpose. it had been far too long since you were able to see him up close, just like this, and you took your time to appreciate the view you were deprived of for weeks.

the call of your name returned your gaze back to his face, and you could feel his amusement having caught you red-handed in your little moment.

"is something wrong?" his head tilted slightly, prompting you to answer his words.

"no," clearing your throat, you summoned the butler to take away his coat, pretending to play it cool despite knowing he had noticed the flustered look on your face at his subtle teasing. "you should hurry to the bathroom. the bath has been prepared for you for quite sometime."

"...if my wife says so."

his quiet statement was enough to make your heart go haywire, but you did your best to maintain a calm expression. nodding lightly at his words, you waited for his next action. and without fail, as he always did, Capitano reached out a hand towards you, palm open in an invite. your hand slid into his without hesitation, fingers intertwined in an intimate embrace. the familiar feeling of his rough skin, callouses adorning the corners of his fingers, made you squeeze his hand a little tighter, not letting go even as you both reached the wide doors of the bathroom.

finally, you get to feel his touch again.

a/n: first fic with some capitano fluff !! my first time writing a fic for him btw so pls forgive if its ooc LOL

[choccorin]

you hate talking on the phone. you hate how your voice sounds through the other line, how awkward it feels to hear someone's voice near your ear, and the nervousness that you always feel when you see your phone ringing.

you hate it so much and rin knows that, and yet, he still calls instead of texting you. especially when he's away for soccer matches.

you told him that you should just text each other but he insists on calling you, if you try to text him, he won't reply back. instead, he'll bombard your phone with calls until you pick up.

(he loves phone calls because he loves hearing your voice)

[rinny-rae]

I’ll take “things I enjoy writing a little too much” for 500, Alex

[ghostwise]

The Crow retcon...

Contract: The Next Blight - Crow diplomacy dating from the Fourth Blight. As guild influence grew, Grey Wardens were the first to recognize "true" Antivan leadership. Thereafter, treaties bore seals of queens, emperors, and Crows.

Sign of Shaper's Respite - A plaque offering a dwarven translation of directions and sights in Treviso, proving a common history of trade that once again predates official records of discovering places where people already live.

Contract: The Next March - Crow diplomacy signed in blood, from a period after influence was claimed, but before responsibility was accepted. If nations march on the elves, Antiva will not be silent. Never again.

The language in these is very deliberate, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth tbh. I see the intent here. But the parallels they are trying to make really do not work. And trying to claim the Wardens and Crows have been buddy-buddy since the Fourth Blight... hilarious.

Teia: There's a reason Antivan coins have portraits of guild leaders, not royalty. We're patriots. Crows can't field a battalion, but we protect our nation our way.

I see a lot of criticism of this line and I DO agree, I do, but it amuses me because it echoes a Zevran line. Genuinely all it shows is a consistency in how the Crows brainwash their members:

Zevran: It is considered a very brave and impressive thing to attempt to become king of Antiva. Sometimes nobody steps forward at all, sadly.

Alistair: And what happens then?

Zevran: Why, we start assassinating those who we think should run until someone does. Never let it be said that the Crows are not patriots.

100 instances of he would not fucking say that.

[capitanology]

partially through (to you) | blade x reader

synopsis: in which you had long left everything behind to pick up the remnants of your tattered life and rebuild it after the tragedy of losing yingxing, which you barely managed to do, just for your past to appear in front of you once again in the worst way possible—in the form of your ex-lover, who you now know as blade

content warning: descriptions of blood/injuries, some inconsistencies for blade/yingxing's lore, likely inaccurate depiction of high-cloud quintet + their lore, reader is not part of the hcq (just close enough as friends), long-life species reader (?), timeline is a bit messy (i focused too much on blade and reader sorry), might be ooc for jing yuan (not sure how he was during the hcq era), prolly ooc blade😭, angst, some comfort, that's all :D

word count: 6.1k

the patter of the raindrops made a soothing melody for your ears. staring listlessly at the window, taking in the sight of the darkened streets and heavy rainfall, your mind wandered without rest. it was mostly reflective thoughts; the conversation you had with the shopkeeper aunt this morning, how the tea you made could've tasted a little bit better, the small greeting exchanged with the new neighbour that just moved in. it flows and flows, until you let your guard down. and that's when it catches you—your past.

come to think of it, isn't the night the same as that day from a long time ago, where you were left behind by none other than him?

—

the harsh downpour raged on the outside, rivalling the tense atmosphere within your abode, a place that used to be so comforting and welcoming, changing with yingxing's behaviour ever since the death of his beloved friend. you recalled how he had become, eyes losing their light and shoulders heavy with the burden of a survivor. he was mourning, and despite knowing him like the back of your hand, this was the first time you were stumped on what to do with the little that you had to offer in terms of support.

how do you give him comfort?

how do you help him grieve?

you tried though, again and again, no matter the countless times it went unappreciated. yet the distance remained vast between the two of you, each action of comfort you gave brushed off without a second thought, as if he wished nothing more than to be alone. so that's what you gave him—time and space, which you were beginning to regret doing when you came home to his figure standing tall within the dim living room, as if prepared to leave.

your heart sinks at the sight, as if knowing that wherever he's about to go, you won't see him ever again.

"yingxing," you breathed out, tired and weary.

your body still aches from a tough day at work, yet it didn't compare to the weight on your chest at the thought of losing him, the one who had carved himself a home right by your side.

"do you have plans to go somewhere?"

it was a futile question. you and him both know that, but you wanted nothing more than for your thoughts to remain just that, thoughts, and not reality. but life wasn't as kind to you as yingxing was when he first saved you from your enemies, and his next few words brought your fears to actuality.

"...there's somewhere i have to go with dan feng," his tone was subdued, as if drained from everything. "i won't be returning."

it was all so...appalling that you couldn't help letting out a laugh of disbelief, incredulity etched onto your face. the hold you have on your grocery bag tightened further, its bamboo handle cutting into your palm. the slight sting made you ground yourself to reality, trying to capture the turmoil of emotions he put you through with just two sentences.

"stop it, please," your voice became too ladled with emotion, making you choke on one that became too prominent–despair. "yingxing, don't do this to me."

it was laughable at how pathetic you had become, begging for your own lover to not walk out on you to instead chase after a fleeting memory of an old friend. but you knew your yingxing, and of how he would do anything to alleviate the guilt and grief that he carries from the incident that broke the high-cloud quintet apart. to redeem himself for letting a beloved companion meet her death despite being there.

your gaze remained pleading, searching his face desperately to look at you once again just like how he used to.

yet his indifferent expression didn't change, not even as he picked up his remaining items and walked closer to you, the last obstacle in his way to achieving his final wish.

"i'm sorry."

"no, you aren't."

your eyes became blurry with unshed tears, not willing to fall apart in front of him, but his next few words pulled at what little resistance you had and left you in tatters.

"i am."

his hand reached out, cupping your face with a delicate touch, so reminiscent of how he used to do before he distanced himself. the pad of his thumb lightly brushed the tears under your eye, and you could only drown yourself in the fleeting warmth that was soon bound to disappear.

"there's nothing else i can say that would make this sin of mine lighter. so please," his voice fell into a whisper, breaking halfway. "don't forgive me."

"yingxing, no—"

without giving you time to make sense of his words, his figure disappeared just as you called out his name. a brief sensation of his lips against your forehead was the last thing you felt. as you blinked, reality setting in of how he was no longer here, of how he left you, you feel your world shattering.

sorrow etched itself deeply into your bones, your body heavy to even move from where you stand. your home, once warm with his presence, became hollow, leaving you to wallow in your emotions.

somewhere, deep inside the little cavern of your heart, you wonder; why were you so easily discarded for a person who's buried six deep under?

—

there were talks when he was first banished from xianzhou. rumours floated by here and there, speaking of how he was a traitor, a sinner, who deserved death rather than this act of mercy to let him live, despite being cast out of the place he had built a home with the high-cloud quintet...and with you.

perhaps it was best that throughout all the time you two were together, your relationship was kept under wraps, only ever revealed in front of his close companions and yours. this means that all these rumours and stories mostly targeted the two of them—dan feng and the other, him—but as you sit in the teahouse, trying to nurse your wounded heart after cooping up in the house for weeks, if not months (you didn't keep track of how long you spent crying, wailing, grieving), the small flame of anger at these clueless people whose mouths only knew how to regurgitate what was being spread rather than form their own opinions only grew. each lash at his dignity, at his honour, deepened your scowl further and the grip on your dainty teacup tightened.

you knew they were right, that he deserved every bit of their criticism and harsh condemnation. yet when the image of his dull eyes and downturned lips overlapped with those of his loving gaze and sweet smiles, your unstable mind was unable to differentiate between who was your lover and who is the traitor that stained the legacy left behind. just as you were about to let your wild thoughts run free and give those gossipers a piece of your mind, a touch to your shoulder jolted you back to reality and the hold made you promptly sit back down in your seat. turning around, your eyes caught sight of gold irises and the familiarity made your heart calm.

"jing yuan," you greeted, letting out a small sigh of relief.

"long time no see," the young man called out your name with a small smile, moving to take the empty seat across from you. "it's been a while since i've last seen you around here."

he isn't wrong. this tea shop was a frequent place you often visited, though it was always accompanied by the presence of your ex-lover, who is now no longer here. you swallowed the trembling breath that nearly escaped at the sudden memory, and instead turned your gaze to your cup in your hands.

"yeah," you mumble, thumbing the edges of the cup. "i wasn't really feeling well."

"i see. i hope you've gotten better, seeing as you're outside now."

"mhm, yeah."

the conversation was stale, as dry as the far plains you've once visited, but you made no attempts to keep it going. silence prevailed soon after, the weight of the topic jing yuan skirting about remaining in the air. taking your time, you waited for him to confront you with his queries. you didn't have to wait too long though, when he continued talking shortly after.

"well, i'm sorry if this is intruding, but i wanted to ask how you were doing after..." he nodded his head to a direction, as if to point at the past.

"...not okay," the lump in your throat returned at his words, no matter how you've steeled yourself to answer them without being affected by your emotions. "it's been quite some time since he left, but it feels as though it was yesterday."

jing yuan kept quiet, letting your words sink in. he glanced at the dimming sky, white clouds decorating the falling sunset, and despite how peaceful it looked, he knew of the unrest that still remained in both yours and his hearts.

"i agree," he breathed out, reaching across to give a pat to your shoulder. "the punishment given to him had to be as heavy as the sin he made, and i'm sorry things had to end this way."

his words brought you a great sense of comfort after having to deal with these conflicting emotions on your own all this while. the corner of your lips rose at his attempt to reassure you and you gave him a small nod.

"thank you for saying that. i appreciate it, jing yuan."

taking one of the unused cups, you lifted the teapot and poured him some tea, seeing how this conversation seemed to run on. for the first time, you felt relieved to have someone to talk to.

"but it must've been hard for you too," you offered the tea, to which he graciously accepted and took a sip. "he was your old friend after all. losing him...losing all of them mustn't have been easy."

he let your words linger, letting his gaze fall to the steaming cup.

"yes, it wasn't," his lips quirked up as he said so, gaze now returning to you. "but the path of life goes on. there is nothing i can do to rewind to the days left behind, so the only thing i—no, we—can do is to keep moving forward."

"let them live in our memories, and let us live carrying those memories."

now, you wished you could say that your interaction with him ended there on a light note, but it was nothing of the sort. instead, you walked home in a daze, recalling the words towards the end of the conversation.

—

"ah, however i just wanted to let you know," he downed his tea in one go, leaving behind a clean cup, just as how he's coming clean to you about the details of yingxing's situation. "the outcome of the incident that occurred left him to face unsavoury consequences."

"unsavoury consequences?" you frowned, mind reeling at the implications of his statement before it came to a conclusion. "you don't mean..."

"yes," jing yuan's gaze became heavy, solely focusing on you. "it means that he's now an immortal being, most likely mara-struck."

the revelation left you weak in the knees, and you’re thankful that you’re sitting down. the shock left you speechless for a few moments, eyes locked on his, as if wanting him to retract the statement and reassure you that it was just a joke made in the humor of the situation. but knowing jing yuan, he would never use this moment to talk about such things lightheartedly. the look in his eyes confirmed your thoughts. 

throat dry and lips chapped, you pushed down the rising emotions as best as you can.

"are you saying that he's completely changed?" your words came out breathless, subdued. "that he's become a completely different being, species, roaming out there as a whole new person?"

incredulity laced your words and despite not meaning to make jing yuan the target of your sorrow and resentment, you unconsciously raised your voice. at his surprised look, you realised what you had done and promptly cleared your throat.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to yell at you. i lost my composure," you apologised, instead turning to look at your now cold tea.

"it's alright. i understand it's heavy news."

you were glad he took graciously to your screw up, but it still left you feeling guilty.

"with him having the possibility of being mara-struck, does that mean his memories..." your words drifted off, as if thinking of that particular outcome was painful enough.

when you lifted your head to look at jing yuan, you were met with eyes conveying pity and a deep sense of despondency.

"yes, it's likely that a majority of his memories will be lost."

—

you bit your lips harshly as you remembered his words. somehow, a strange sense of anger rose and this time, the recipient of your fury was not jing yuan but rather the image of your ex-lover in your mind.

look at you now, yingxing.

house in sight, you walked even faster, wanting nothing more than to let go of this tension, of this wrath that seized your heart. your hands grappled the handle of your door messily to open it, kicking off your shoes in a haphazard manner.

in the end, what happened?

emotions ran through your entire being, overlapping and intermingling with each other that you didn't even know what you were feeling at this point. the moment you walked through the door to your empty home, memories of the past consumed you and it was the final strike to your already declining self control. all composure was lost and you grabbed the first thing in sight to throw it across the room.

losing your memories, losing your humanity, banished to the vast lands and not being able to return to the place you once called home.

fury rushed through your veins, burning away anything and everything that you had in mind except for the resentment that remained prominent through it all.

you left everything behind, just to end up like this?!

it was all pointless, you think. that the thought of resurrecting your dead friend should've just remained a naive dream, not meant to be attempted.

the crash of the picture frame you had thrown resounded throughout the dark room, a wake up call from your drowning emotions. the belated regret of throwing such a precious item crushed your conscience and you immediately rushed over to where the picture laid amongst the shattered glass and splintered frame. it was turned upside down, and when you lifted it, what greeted you felt like a blow to your already fragile heart.

the smiling faces of six individuals, amongst which was you. it was taken a long, long time ago, when yingxing had decided to reveal you to his dear companions and the nature of your relationship. you remembered their reactions, of how shocking it was to see ‘the arrogant man actually have someone tolerate him’ (jingliu's words, not yours), and how they had taken a picture as a memento, at the courtesy of baiheng.

you remembered how she had pushed it into your hands, a grin on her lovely face with eyes that sparkled in the overhead sun.

"just for you," she had said. "you're now one of us!"

her voice was clear in your head, and when it receded into the past, so did the memory and you were brought back into reality. the first few drops of tears fell out of your eyes onto the delicate photo, blurring your vision, followed by another few stray tears before turning into a sob. it was disorientating, to have your emotions flipped back and forth in a fickle manner, but you couldn't help it.

you already had known it all along, yet you were lost in your sorrow for yingxing that you remained stubborn to see the truth; that it wasn't pointless to do such a thing, even if it ended in failure. grief steers people to do as they see fit, and if you were in his place, perhaps the thought of reviving your dead friend didn't seem like such a naive thing after all. if it was him they had lost, you would most likely be in yingxing's place by now.

the resentment still lingers, now a small spark amongst the other waves of sorrow and agony. this was the reality you had to face, where you were left to cry your heart out at the unfairness of life, of how you had everything ripped away from you without a second thought.

and most of all, you longed for yingxing, who is now roaming around as a stranger in a dead man's body.

—

the whistling kettle resounding through your home brought you back to reality and almost immediately, you scrambled to switch the stove off less you have a fire incident in your home. shaking your head, you attempted to clear any lingering thoughts of the past.

that was it. the past is the past, and you shouldn't dwell on it any longer.

that's what you had resolved on, up until you heard a thump and a groan at the back of your house, and upon checking it out, you were met with a very unexpected sight.

—

out of the countless scenarios you've played in your mind, this isn't the scene you had envisioned. an injured yingxing—no, blade, slumped against the eroding alley walls in the middle of the night. although you were standing at a distance, umbrella sheltering you from the rain, you noticed how his arm kept a tight hold around his abdomen, as if clamping down on a wound, and judging from the red staining his hand, you knew your hunch was right.

after imagining how your reunion would go for so many years, it was quite laughable at how anticlimactic it is, really. presented with the situation, there was no yelling, or fights, or anything of the sort. it was...quiet; just you, him and the breathless pants that he gave from his injury. a pang of momentary disappointment hit you but you quickly shook away the unnecessary thoughts, focusing on him instead.

the rain kept its incessant fall, never ceasing its harsh droplets across his skin. it made him look all the more ethereal somehow, the water highlighting the features you've forgotten all these while. bitterness filled you at the sight, of how he's a stranger yet so reminiscent of the man you've been longing for, no matter how many times you tried to bury your feelings.

your mind was conflicted on how to approach him, tongue heavy to even call out his name. perhaps it was better to pretend to have seen nothing, letting him nurse his injury by himself since he can't die after all. 

it will only make things complicated if you offer help, right? and besides, the probability of him accepting it is low, so what's the point of making life difficult for yourself?

but then he moved to stand straight, shakily lifting himself up just to collapse yet again with a pained groan, eyes closing. and despite not wanting to get involved, your resolve weakened at the sight.

"hey, are you okay?" you called out hesitantly, gripping your umbrella tighter.

it took your breath away when his eyes snapped open at your voice, the familiar yet so unfamiliar hue of red locking onto yours. wariness was prominent in his gaze and his body tensed up more than it already has, as if prepared to strike at any moment.

you swallowed the trembling breath at his action and instead nod towards his injury.

"you're hurt. you need to get treatment before it worsens."

the glare on his face deepened at your words, annoyance flashing in his eyes.

"there's no need," blade spat, grating your ears with how blunt his words are. "leave me be."

you knew that your attempt to help would be denied but it did sting a little for him to reject it without taking a moment to think about it. what surprised you further was the wave of disappointment that washed over you at his words, despite you not expecting a positive reaction from him.

because it confirmed your fears—that he forgot you.

since you already decided to intervene however, you would rather rather see it through then give up after just the first try.

"as much as i want to do that, i'm afraid i'm not fond of strangers dying at the back of my own home," you replied, lips set in a straight line. "just get treated so you're not at the risk of bleeding out on the streets."

blade clicked his tongue, frustration building at how persistent you’re turning out to be. 

"whether my life ends here or anywhere else, it does not concern you. now, leave before my patience runs out."

his threat made you pause in your steps, doubt rising as you weighed your next action. yet you decided to push through anyway, walking closer to where he was.

"then take it as my conscience being burdened. i can't enjoy my tea in peace knowing there's someone out there bleeding to death."

your words stunned him into silence, as if not comprehending the absurdity of it. you took that chance to close the distance, positioning yourself so that the umbrella now covers the both of you. it might be a pointless act since he was already soaked to the bone, but his lack of reaction tells you that he probably didn't mind it too much.

"i can treat your wound. or if you prefer to be sent to a medical facility, i can also—"

"there's no need for the hassle to go that far," blade grunted out, cutting your words short. his glare remained, falling onto you as if to warn you from approaching any further as he shifted in place.

seeing that he was getting ready to get up, you moved backwards to give him ample space. however, the moment he managed to stand straight, his body swayed back and forth unceremoniously. just as blade was about to fall back again, your hand reached out to grab his elbow without warning, trying to help him balance himself. almost reflexively, his arm shoved you away with a harsh push. 

your palm stings from his blunt action, a small gasp stuck in your throat at the unexpected pain. immediately, shame washed all over you at what just transpired, and you only kept silent at the sudden tense atmosphere. plucking up your barely existing courage, you let out a small apology.

"sorry, i shouldn't have grabbed you so suddenly. i was just trying to catch you."

blade remained quiet for a few moments, taking his time to look at you before gritting out a small ‘it's fine’. he shifted once again, getting ready to move. before he could, you stopped him.

"then can i help you walk?" you spoke, glancing at his unsteady figure. "i''ll just hold your arm as support."

"...fine."

"okay," you nodded, moving to grab hold of his other arm while trying to still cover the both of you from the rain. "let's go then."

as you focused on guiding him to your home, you failed to notice the lingering gaze at your side.

by right, blade shouldn't have agreed so easily to your words. it was a naive thing, he thought. to offer aid to an injured stranger on the streets, in the middle of the night no less. even more so when you insisted, despite him refusing multiple times. if it was any other person, perhaps blade might have already silenced them with their persistent attitude.

yet somehow you're different.

he didn't know whether it was your mannerisms, or your actions, or you yourself, but everything about you feels so familiar. as if he had known you for a long time before. it was on the tip of his tongue—he could feel it—the reason for these unknown emotions currently swirling around in the depths of his own heart that he once thought could never feel anymore. yet, as he ransacked the empty chambers of his own memories, not once could he find you in them.

just who are you to evoke such feelings?

his question remained unanswered as you reached the door of your house, where you swiftly brought him inside without much hassle. guiding him to your sofa, you watched as he sinks into the cushion with a groan of relief, water seeping from his clothes into the soft material. you ignore the little voice nagging at you from how he most likely ruined your seat and instead turned to find the first aid kit and a towel.

“wait here.”

as you disappear from the living room to somewhere in the house, blade took a glance at the little space you call your home. it was cozy, with the way you had arranged the furniture to make it all come together. the patterned curtains and flowers decorated here and there made it all the more livelier, driving in the notion of how homely it was. somehow, the sight made his heart clench with an unrecognisable sense of nostalgia, to which blade wrinkled his nose.

it was a foreign feeling for someone like him, who had lived knowing only vengeance and hatred.

to long for something; is this what it feels like?

his thoughts were interrupted when you returned, hands full of items. passing him a towel, you let him busy with drying himself as you prepared the necessary things to treat his injury. within the silence, it was somehow comforting to just exist in the company of each other.

"you'll need to take off your clothes," you spoke once you’re done, glancing at him as he stopped drying his hair. "i need to see your wound."

blade could only stare at you for a few moments, briefly frowning before looking away, shifting to remove his clothes. as he discarded the clothing, your eyes take in the view of his exposed figure, catching the multiple scars that covered the majority of his upper body.

the sight made you tighten your hold on the gauze that you prepared, heart clenching at the thought of how painful it must have been for him to bear all of these scars. at the battles he must've fought, facing life and death, and of course, being mara-struck.

"is there a problem?"

his voice made you snap out of your thoughts, and you shook your head.

"no, there isn't. i'll start now."

your hands moved to clean the wound with practised ease, as if you've done this countless times before. it made him wonder if you faced situations like this before, and perhaps that's why it made sense that you so easily offered to help a stranger like him.

though the thought of you helping anyone other than him, in this intimate manner where you remained close enough for him to feel your warmth, made him grit his teeth.

why does it feel so unpleasant to think of such a thing?

and why does it feel so pleasant to have you pay such close attention to him, attending to his needs?

the delicate touch skimming along his skin left goosebumps in its wake, making his focus fall onto you at the sensation. at this angle, he couldn't see your face, just the bundle of messy hair that his hands itched to run through. somehow in this moment, blade wanted nothing more than to see your expression as you cleaned and stitched him up.

how do you look like when you focused so deeply on nothing but on your work? will you frown in concentration, or bite your lips in frustration? or will you remain calm, knowing you're able to fix the situation with ease?

these thoughts were unfamiliar to him and at the same time, your actions aren't.

the way you wrapped the bandage around his abdomen with so smoothly, ensuring that it wasn't too tight or too loose, and how you cleaned his bleeding wound without exchanging a single word, not questioning the stranger who appeared in the deserted streets with nothing but a damaged body and vengeance running through his veins. how there was little awkwardness lingering in the air, and as time runs and silence settles, a distant sense of comfort takes hold of his already aching body.

his mind ran with so many thoughts of you, to the point that the familiar feeling of pain had receded into the background. only when you pressed particularly hard did he let out a hiss, making you pause in your actions.

"sorry, did i hurt you?" you bit your lips, worried that you had somehow hurt him even further.

he returned your gaze for a moment before turning his head to the side, having enough of these restless thoughts and foreign emotions. the more he looks at you, the more the turmoil within him worsens.

"it's fine. just finish it."

you glanced at his face, trying to see if you did something wrong but his indifferent expression remained the same. not wanting to breach the sudden tense atmosphere, you quickly finished up wrapping his wound and got up from where you had settled by his side.

"it's done," you spoke as you wiped your bloodstained hands with a spare cloth.

his barely audible grunt of affirmation told you that he heard your words, and silence settles once more, this time a bit heavier. your mind racked on your next course of action as you busied yourself with cleaning up the remnants of the treatment, back facing towards the injured man.

just as your thoughts came to a conclusion, you heard the shifting of clothes and another hiss of pain from behind you. hesitation made your tongue heavy to ask the next question, but your selfishness for wanting to remain in his presence for a little longer override your doubts and you pushed yourself to do so.

it didn't hurt to try, right?

"hey," you start, anticipation running through your veins. "if you need a place to rest, you can—"

"there's no need," his words cut you off without waiting for you to finish speaking. "i will be leaving soon."

well, it definitely hurts to try.

it was a foolish thought, you knew that, and yet you still entertained it. the shame you felt rivalled the ache in your heart at his blunt denial. a metallic taste covers your tongue as you bite your lips hard enough to draw blood, silencing yourself from speaking your thoughts any further.  taking in a sharp breath, you nod your head and focus on cleaning up.

the more things you have to do, the less these foolish thoughts will appear.

"...you feel familiar."

those words made you pause, hands clutching onto a cloth dirtied with his blood. you're glad your back is facing him, because you're sure he would've caught the slip in your attempt at maintaining a calm demeanour. your mind was blank, thoughts reeling for a proper response to his statement.

what do you say to that?

that you and him once had your lives intertwined together, making a promise to be each other's one and only until the end of time?

or that you're a remnant of his past that he has discarded and forgotten after committing a taboo so heavy to the point of being banished and losing his memories?

there are so many things you could say, so many truths you could reveal and so many memories you could speak of. but in the end, all you could muster was nothing remotely close.

"perhaps you're misunderstanding something." 

there was no need to complicate things further. the only reason you even attempted to offer him a place to rest was purely for your own selfish reasons anyways.

"we've never met before. there's no reason why i should be familiar."

your words hang in the air, making the silence more prominent. at his lack of response, you thought that he had ended the conversation there, since he barely made an attempt at talking all this while. that is until you feel a presence behind your back, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body.

the sudden proximity made you gasp lightly, head turning sideways just to catch the sight of his figure hovering over you. strands of midnight blue tickled the sides of your face as his head bent down slightly. despite him not even touching you, his mere aura made you feel as though you were caged in right in his arms.

"you're lying," he murmured, breath skimming the nape of your neck. "every action of yours tells me that you're hiding something. you refuse to tell the truth. why?"

his prodding at your attempts to deflect his question made you falter, the resolve to keep things to yourself weakening. then you remember the blood that stained your hands and the countless scars across his body, and the urge to spill everything swiftly disappeared.

"because there is no need to," your voice was quiet, a whisper to his ears only. "to the you now, i am no one but a stranger."

"just like you are to me."

it was a lie, but still the truth all the same. 

the weight of your words sinks into the atmosphere, a burden on both his and your shoulders. it made him silent for a while, deciphering the meaning behind them.

"you belong to my past, with the person who i was before."

it wasn't a question, but rather a statement. somehow, you can almost feel how bitter he was as he spoke, along with a sense of...longing? before you could dwell on it however, the sudden disappearance of his presence behind you captured your attention and you immediately turned your head back, just to catch sight of him standing by your now opened window.

the rain had stopped by now, only the gentle symphony of crickets being heard instead. you noticed his clothes were already on, despite them being soaked. the fabric seemed to stretch across his body uncomfortably, but it seems that he would keep to his words than wait for them to dry.

"are you leaving immediately without any rest?" you asked, even though you already questioned him of his plans before, just to try and move past the strange exchange you just had.

"there's no need to. it won't make a difference to me."

"...i see."

you gave him a nod and although you didn't want to, you couldn't help the dejection that eats away at your insides from how ready he was to leave. it was conflicting; wanting him to stay due to your past clinging onto your back, yet treating him like a stranger as your present begs you to. a push and pull that you wanted no part in, yet you couldn't leave the position so simply as the person in the center of it all did.

"take care then."

you expected him to leave as soon as you finished speaking, but his figure still remained standing there, bathing under the moonlight. for a moment, everything was still, before he broke it.

"...this meeting was pure coincidence," blade spoke, eyes falling onto you. his gaze roamed the entirety of your face, as if engraving the sight before him into his memory. "but if there comes a day where we cross paths again...do not hide."

"face me, even if my memories fails me to recall this interaction."

perhaps it was your imagination, but somehow, you feel as though his words carried sentiments of yearning and regret. just as you wanted to ask him to elaborate his words, a sudden gust of wind appeared, making your eyes close at how strong it was. when you opened them after, his figure had already disappeared from where he once stood, leaving behind an empty space in both the house and your heart.

as the weight of his departure settled into the room, a wry smile built itself on your lips. this was expected, yet you couldn't help but recall how reminiscent this was to the night he first left, no matter how long ago it was. and the words he spoke before disappearing, the last time and now, still managed to leave behind a never-ending ache in your chest. though this time, his parting words left behind a glimmer of hope that maybe, should you meet again, things would go differently.

as you move to continue cleaning up the remaining clutter, for the first time in a while, you entertained the possibilities of seeing blade once more.

that if you do meet again, perhaps you would tell him of the truth; the past that ties the two of you together, and of everything in between.

a/n: lowkey not proud of this work but i hope it was enjoyable hehe

[choccorin]

contents: fluff, rinnie being jealous, just a random drabble <3

he hates that plushie. he would've burned it to ashes by now , only if you didn't love it so much. if a glare could kill, that plushie— who isn't even alive— would be dead right now.

“ rinnie look, he really looks just like you! ” you giggle , showing him the custom-made plushie while pressing your cheek on it.

“ tch. ”

he thinks it's stupid. why are you spending so much time with that damn doll instead of him? your actual real life boyfriend.

you've been obsessing over it since it arrived two days ago , you're just overjoyed about how adorable it looks. it matches rin's personality perfectly!

“ hey, c'mon! don't be like that, rinnie! ” you whine , giving him a pout. “ you'll be leaving in a day, i don't want us to argue about anything before you leav- ”

“ exactly. ”, he cuts you off , “ i'm leaving soon but , you're spending more time on that stupid thing instead of me. ” he crosses his arms and makes himself sink deeper into the couch.

“ rinnie , don't tell me ... are you jealous because of the plushie? ”

he turns his head away from you , trying to hide the soft blush forming around his cheeks and ears.

you giggle at his jealousy , “ awh, you're so cute rinnie! ” you'll never stop loving this immature side of him. a side of him that only you get to see.

“ just shut up and come here. ” he pulls you by the waist and makes you straddle him.

“ i also saw you kissing it you know. ” he glares at you , but you only giggle at response.

“ it was only because you were busy packing, ” you cup his face into your hands and give small pecks onto both of his cheeks, “ .. won't do it again, promise. ”

“ hmph. ”

he pulls you into him closer — like you two aren't already close enough — and gives you a soft but aggressive kiss. (i don't know how kisses work ?)

“ .. i'll give you all the attention and damn kisses you want so get rid of it already. ”

[rinny-rae]

A snippet from the story where Tav acted like a sassy little bitch at coronation so Gortash gave him a few days in the dungeons before discussing an alliance

Read on AO3

[ode2rin]

all of you, all of me intertwined

pairing. itoshi rin x gn!reader

genre. fluff | pro-athlete!rin | established relationship | light angst (it’s light, trust me) | a bit of hurt/comfort

warnings. 1.4k+ wc | characters are aged up ! | heavy in narration | profanity | pet names

note. i laughed a lil bit too much reading abt rin’s morning routine but then became completely sappy at the thought of it changing as he found love ;) | not proofread pls forgive me  | it’s inspired from another ts song i owe her my life i’m sorry 

in which: rin finds solace in the present with you, as the memories of his past mornings gradually fade away

itoshi rin, a man of routine, is always up before you, like clockwork.

perhaps it's the athlete in him, or perhaps it's because you slumber like a log. regardless, he never moves an inch after waking up. he remains still, holding you so close, taking in the sight of your peaceful form beside him.

gone are the days when he would rush to the window to let in fresh air or head straight to his closet for his yoga routine. gone are the days that he would relive all the rage and hatred that sits freely in his heart. and, gone are the days of being consumed by the darkness that once plagued his mind.

now, his first thoughts are of you. he revels in the warmth of your skin and the gentle rise and fall of your chest, basking in the tranquil moment of your shared existence.

it's moments like these that make rin marvel at the divine forces that must have sent you in his way. because frankly speaking, he believes that he didn’t deserve you at all. not with his snarky and prideful demeanor did he deserve any of the bright smiles you threw at his direction. rin is not a believer in fate, but sometimes he can't help but think that the universe must be conspiring against him. 

after all, how else can he explain the intensity of his love for you? he loves you so much that sometimes it physically hurts.

it physically hurts to be away from you, it aches to not hold you so close, it cuts not to hear your laughter at the end of a tiring practice. and maybe he’s being dramatic, but can you blame him? 

he loves you so damn much that it scares him. rin knows, in his heart, that if he fails to protect the life you share, he'll never be able to recover from it. the universe be damned because there is no way in fucking hell would he be able to wake up and breathe the same way again. he’ll not only revisit rage and sadness but live every single day of his life revisiting moments with you. he'll be haunted not just by anger, but by every memory of you. 

your love scares him to that extent, and yet he chooses to live with this fear rather than live a life that there is no you. a life where he doesn’t wake up beside you sounds so much scarier than being benched at a game, more terrifying than all the horror movies he's seen combined.

this same fear was even louder in the beginning of your relationship. that, he admits. so loud that it spoke to you in the form of harsh words coming from rin’s lips. he threw so many lines of poison made in sadness and insecurity mistakenly draped in anger.  the rin you first met was just twenty-one, young and full of anger. or was it really anger? maybe he thought so. or maybe he couldn't admit that it was betrayal and sadness. maybe he chose anger to mask his sadness, and somewhere in between, he forgot the difference.

at sixteen, rin started living a life grounded with rage and vengeance. stopping at nothing to prove himself better than his brother. at twenty-four, he can't help but wonder how a life driven by hatred and ego brought him to this safe haven, this sanctuary in your loving arms. perhaps it took that much rage to find this serenity.

he wouldn't change a single thing that led him to you, but if there's one regret, it's that he didn't let himself to love you sooner. he wishes he let himself bask in the radiance of your eyes more willingly. 

because the younger rin deserved just as much as what he’s having right now.

as you slept soundly, rin found himself lost in thought, reflecting on the past and the many mistakes he had made. feeling a bit nostalgic, he leaned more into you and held your jaw to trail kisses on your face. as his lips touched your skin, you stirred in your sleep and opened your eyes to see your teal-eyed lover gazing at you dreamily. you couldn't help but tease him at how uncharacteristic he’s looking at you right now.

“is this your new way of waking me up?” you asked, a playful smile on your face. sleep still evident in your hoarse voice.

rin looked a bit shy at being caught, but he replied with a chuckle, “no, of course not.”

you knew he was lying, though. rin was a man of routine, and he always left kisses in your face in the morning, like clockwork. you decided to let him keep his secret, though, and snuggled up closer to him, enjoying the warmth of his embrace.

“why are you still in bed, baby? what happened to yoga and keeping your body healthy and all that?” you asked with a grin, knowing how much rin prided himself on his health and fitness.

“is this your new way of making me leave?” rin countered, mimicking the playful tone you used at him.

you looked up to meet his eyes, “it’s too early to be this sassy, rinnie,” you playfully booped his nose which earned you a scoff from him, “besides, don’t you have practice today? you’ll be late.”

rin didn't say anything in response, but instead, he reached out to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him. you felt his body mold to yours, as he intertwined his legs with yours and draped all of his weight on you. you let out a contented sigh as you leaned back into his embrace.

you could feel rin's warm breath as he hid his face in your neck, and his chest rising and falling with each breath. the softness of his skin against yours, the warmth of his embrace, and the steady beat of his heart were all consuming your senses. 

something is wrong.

rin clinging to you like this no longer surprises you because, much to his chagrin, rin is a closeted clingy lover and enjoys being held. but the tightness of his hold, and the rather slow beat of his heart is telling you that there’s something wrong.

slowly, you placed your hand on the nape of his neck and began to stroke his hair in a soothing motion. you could feel his body relax slightly under your touch, but there was still an underlying sense of unease.

“what’s on your mind, baby?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

rin hesitated for a moment before answering, “i was thinking of skipping practice today.”

“why? are you feeling unwell, rin?”

“no. i just miss you.” he says, his voice becoming softer at the end.

you felt your heart swell with his response. “i’m here, rin,” you reassured him, wanting him to feel the depth of your presence.

“i know,” rin paused, “you’re here.” he continued, sounding more like he was convincing himself rather than responding to you. 

as you looked at rin, you couldn't help but feel that there was something he wasn't telling you. you knew that rin was someone who valued his routine and getting ready for practice, so his behavior was unusual. you wondered if something had happened to shake him out of his usual rhythm. you pushed aside your thoughts, knowing that rin would tell you in his own time.

for now, you just have to hold him through it. “alright, baby. what do you want to do?” you asked.

rin's response was simple. “nothing, just want to be close to you,” he said, his gaze locking with yours.

a smile played on your lips. “not a problem for me,” you replied, pulling him close and cherishing the moment of closeness between the two of you. almost instantly, rin felt his body relax under your touch, as if all his troubles had melted away.

itoshi rin was definitely a man of routine, but forgoing his morning routine he would, if it meant more mornings like this, with his body and soul intertwined with yours.

because with you, gone were the days when he would stare out the window with a haunted look in his eyes, lost in his own thoughts. gone were the days when his mind was consumed by a vortex of rage and sadness. and gone were the days when he spent his mornings shrouded in darkness.

now, rin had found a new routine, one that revolved around you and the love you shared. and as you held him, he knew that this routine would last a lifetime. 

for as long as he could remember, rin felt his mornings become brighter with you by his side, like the first light of day after a long dark night. because with you, everything seems brighter, like daylight.

another note. this is super self-indulgent btw hehe i was having an awful week and just wrote this on top of the uni work whooping my ass. anw all is good ! i hope u enjoyed it as much as i did love writing this, i actually think i got a lil bit carried away... def not my best but oh well live love laugh rinnie lovers !!

[fairiesandstories]

The inexplicable urge to write an Azris one shot based on What Is This Feeling from Wicked bc how is that not Azris in a nutshell?????

[awritingcaitlin]

🔥Find the Word

Thank you @kaylinalexanderbooks for the tag!

My words are: knee, faith, include, ruin

I'll tag: @kae-luna, @sithbelle, @diabolical-blue, @flowerprose, and @baroquesse

Your words are: visit, point, five, found/find, truth

Snippets from TBW under the cut!!

🍺KNEE

The Boss was here. He visited once or twice a year, but Mama’s birthday was always one of them. The first years Riela had worked at the Tom, she hadn’t recognized him, which was the point. Then one day, Riela asked Mama point-blank if that was him and Mama confirmed it. The next time he’d visited, Riela’d been formally introduced. He was nice and unassuming. He also had a bit of an ego, if Riela allowed herself to think as much of a god. He walked in the front doors, dressed in a loose white shirt tucked into black pants with black boots that came up to his knees. He had messy brown curls and his beard looked intentionally scruffy. He already had a frothing mug in his hand.

🎶FAITH

“But think of what it could…” “Get out,” Mama hissed. “I told you five years ago that if you continued this walk of life, you weren’t welcome here. I let you play tonight as a gesture of good faith, which you have spurned. Leave.” He gave her a flippant salute and gathered his things.

🌊INCLUDE

In the end, she needn’t have worried. He’d gone to the docks to potentially warn George, but had found an unconscious Rinnie and a stoically protective Taryn instead. Selsing pointedly did not ask questions about the Edans’ presence. Probably because the body of the tugboat captain was found shortly thereafter, and he had half a dozen warrants out for his arrest. It got written off as gang warfare. Evidence of Nidtrin presence was tossed into the ocean. Riela’d been hopeful for a second that the cleric would be included in that, but she was not so lucky. She wasn’t sure how the Guards were going to reconcile “Nidtrin cleric” with “gang war,” but it probably involved the cleric disappearing and she hoped it was in the dead way.

💥RUIN

“So what’s the job?” Riela asked. “We stage an intervention and prevent bombs from ruining an otherwise ordinary Eviannite wedding later this week.” “She told us the next bombing target?” Riela asked, leaning forward so fast she almost fell out of her stool. She caught herself on the edge of the bar. “Yes, and if she was telling the truth and not hedging, which I will admit, there’s enough leeway in her words for her to be hedging, then it is our moral responsibility to get in there and stop that from happening.” “And if she’s hedging?” “Then it’s a trap,” Mama said with a shrug. “But, as I said, I think she was telling me eighty-percent of the truth.”

[choccorin]

thinking about how soft rin would get when he's sleepy and tired ... like imagine him being all grumpy after practice, but after he showers and gets into the comfy pajamas with owls printed on them (you bought it for him, it's a matching set). the cold shower took all his stress away, now he just wants to spend the rest of the night in your arms.

he doesn't say it but he loves being the one getting pampered .. he loves laying on top of you while you play with his hair, sometimes he'd ask you to tell him about your day or sing him a song that he loves. and before he drifts off to sleep, he'd give you a soft kiss as a thank you for taking care of him.