#Right after giving birth to cass

[oifaaa]

Lady Shiva biologically can't be Jason's mom because he and Cass are six months apart. Unless they are twins and someone wrote the wrong day on Jason's birth certificate.

I mean I don't think it'd be difficult to say that cass' birthday is a wee bit off considering the circumstances of her birth tho im more on the side of her and Jason being Irish twins then actual twins born on the same day it just makes more sense

[daydreaming-nerd]

OMG I need pregnant reader x bat boys

That first one was so good thank you for that!! 🩷🩷

Pregnant Reader x Bat Boys (drabble)

This is part 2 to You Want A Baby?

AN: Ahh this was so highly requested I'm sorry it took so long. Also i've never really done a drabble and this is defiantly too long but I wanted to feed y'all as best I could.

Warnings: Pregnancy (duh), child birth, talks of sex?, not proof read (sry after writing Young Love Old Money 5 last night my hands hurt)

Of course your mates got you pregnant on the first try. They were the three most powerful males in the Night Court.

The day you found out was like any other, you were quietly reading while Cassian and Azriel were in Windhaven and Rhys was busy doing paperwork.

The sickness had been building all day and at finally come to it's precipice.

After about an hour of throwing up you went to see Madja who confirmed you were indeed pregnant.

You wanted to run home and tell Rhys right away but it didn't seem fair to your other two mates

So you warded yourself to keep your scent hidden and waited till Azriel and Cassian got home.

You sat on the edge of the bed the waiting for the boys to come to bed, clad in nothing but my black silk nightgown (this one was a present from Rhys)

The boys stalked in and the picture of me sitting innocently on our shared bed had them taking their shirts off.

It wasn't uncommon for you all to release built up tension after a long hard day, especially when the boys had to deal with Devlon.

"Wait there's something I wanna show you first," you smile standing up.

"Something you want to show us?" Rhys laughed knowing that when it came to the bedroom it was often the other way around.

You couldn't keep from smirking as you let the ward around me drop, my scent filling the room.

They inhaled long and slow before their eyes snapped open.

"You're?" Azriel asked.

"Pregnant," you smile watching as a million emotions float across their faces.

A beat of silence passes and then...

"WOOO HOOO!" Cassian roared. "We did it brothers!" he boasted clapping each of them on the back.

All of them came over to me to give me sniff, as if your new scent was addicting. You had to crane your neck up to meet all their happy faces.

"How far along are you?" Rhys asked caressing my face.

"Not very, only 6 weeks," you. smile feeling their warm hands roam my body.

"Well you certainly smell good," Azriel smiles burying his nose in my hair.

"Really?" you ask.

"YES," they all said in unison.

Cassian's hands find the hem of the night gown and start to lift it up peering underneath curiously.

"Cassain if you even think about putting your dick anywhere near her right now I will fucking kill you," Rhys growls.

"I'm not I'm trying to see if she's showing yet," Cassian said, eyes squinting.

"Cass it's too early for her to be showing," Azriel laughed at his brothers antics.

"Well she defiantly is, take a look." Cassian smiled pulling me flush to him and lifting my nightgown more so his brothers could see.

Rhys and Azriel squinted their eyes, clearly trying to see what wasn't there as Cass slid a hand over my belly.

"Cassian darling I think that's just my dinner," you laugh.

"speaking of dinner did you eat enough?" Rhys asked.

and so it began.

Ever since the boys had found out all chaos had erupted.

At first they wanted you to stay in the townhouse at all times. Literally locking you up and throwing away the key

That idea took you a long time to talk them out of but eventually you did.

Then came Rhys arguing that you needed at least 5 wards. Which Cassian and Azriel objected to as they wanted full access to you AND the baby.

Evetually you all settled on one ward. Strong enough to keep threats at bay, but weak enough so Cass and Az could touch you and your bump whenever they liked.

Speaking of bump, Cassian was determined to do a bump update everyday.

The man was DYING to see you with a bump.

"You think the baby will have wings?" you asked innocently while we all laid in bed.

Every night it was a fight for who got to sleep next to you as you unfortunately had an odd number of mates.

"Of course it'll have wings, look at it's fathers," Azriel smirked rubbing a hand over your belly.

"I don't know I wasn't in my Illyrian form when it was conceived," Rhysand states, his words reverberation through me from where my head was perched on his chest.

"Pfft please, I already told you it's mine," Cassian boasted from behind Rhys, clearly being an instigator since he wasn't getting to sleep next to me tonight.

"Cassian," Azriel warns.

"I know , I know. We don't care who got her knocked up just so long as she IS knocked up," Cassian smirks.

"Okay but what if the baby doesn't have wings?" I ask once more.

"Then we'll fuck another one into you until you have one that does," Rhys smiled pressing a kiss to my brow

"Oh we're putting another one in her either way. I want a whole litter of children." Cassian divuldged.

"You want that princess?" Azriel asked rubbing lazy circles over my barley there bump.

"Yeah I think I do." I smile.

The boys were territorial when you were barley showing, but the second the numerous dresses Rhys bought you couldn't cover the bump that's when things got scary.

The shadows. The fucking shadows

They were fucking everywhere.

Azriel had been freaking out ever since your guys walk the other day.

You had been taking in the fresh air of spring when a unknowing passerby slammed into you nearly knocking you over.

"WATCH IT!" Azriel screamed in his face his grip on the mans shirt like a vice.

The poor shopkeeper just about wet himself before running off.

"Now was that really necessary?" you asked, crumbs falling out of your mouth from the 3rd chocolate croissant you had eaten that day.

"He nearly knocked down my pregnant mate, he's lucky I let him off with a warning," Azriel murmured clearly still pissed.

"You Illyrian babies," I roll my eyes finsishing off the croissant.

Azriel just sighed and dug his hand into the paper sack to pull out my 4th pastry.

Ever since then his shadows seemed to follow you everywhere.

If you dropped something? The shadows would pick it up.

If you had troubles walking? there was always a dark mass helping you to the bathroom for the 10th time that day.

Every time the baby kicked? The shadows swirled around you to make sure you were okay.

And boy did that baby kick...

Cassian was the first to feel it.

It was a rainy night at home, Cassian was sleeping next to your belly whispering sweet nothings to it when it happened. He nearly jumped out of his skin, and you nearly did too from the pain.

"Ahh!" you hissed in pain.

"Darling what is it? Are you hurt?" Rhys fussed, leaving his desk to be there in an instant.

"What did you do?" Azriel growled at Cassian who was still staring wide eyed at your bump.

"I'm fine he didn't do anything. The baby is just kicking." I grit out feeling another thump.

I blindly reach out and grab one of my mates hands and press it to my stomach.

I watched as the scarred hand flinched at the kick.

"Oh my god I can feel it," Azriel beamed, his eyes glassing over.

"Move I want to feel," Rhys ordered

Azriel was too hypotized to care.

"I am your High Lord, move" Rhys ordered once more and I swear the room shook.

"I'm getting kinda tired of that phrase too aren't you Cass?" Azriel rolled his eyes.

"Yeah she's our mate too," cassian grumbled.

They spent the night taking turns getting to feel the baby which became a nightly occurrence.

Out of all your mates Rhys was the most doting. He had an entire wing built onto the townhouse for the baby.

He even used his magic to enchant the ceiling of the nursery to look like the night sky so it would be starfall in there every night.

Rhys didn't like to admit it, but he loved baby shopping with you.

"Oh Rhys look at this one can we get it?" you smile holding up a little onesie.

"Yes darling of course," he chuckled in amusement, he had probably heard that phrase a million times.

Your eyes scanned the shop of onesies and cribs, you already nearly everything in the store. But the shop owner always made sure to let you know when there was a new shipment as she knew Rhys would buy his pregnant mate just about anything she asked for.

"Oh my god Rhys please the baby is going to need this," I shout holding up the bat plushy. "Please, please, please, pleaseeeee"

Rhys laughs walking over to me to take my hands in his.

"Darling how many times do I have to tell you? You can have whatever you want." he smiles placing a hand on my bump and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

Fae labor was no joke, there wasn't a single aspect that didn't hurt like hell.

Rhys didn't send Cassian or Azriel away on any missions in the weeks leading up to your due date so they could be there.

Your water broke when you were standing in the kitchen reaching for a glass on the top shelf.

The scream you let out is enough to have Cassian running in from the other room.

"What is it princess? Are you okay?" He asked kneeling down to where I sat on the floor.

"The baby is coming," I winced through the pain, taking Cassian's hand in mine and squeezing with all my might.

That was the good thing about having big, strong Illyrian's as mates. They were fucking durable.

"oh shit," Cassain murmered his eyes searching for some kind of answer of what to do. "RHYS! AZRIEL! THE BABY IS COMING!"

My other two mates winnowed there are lighting speed from where ever they were in the house.

It wasn't long until Rhys had me in his arms winnowing us all to Madja.

"Help her please," he pleaded, my cries of pain clearly affecting him.

Madja had Rhys bring me into the birthing suite and lay me down. I could see the worry on all my mates eyes as they watched me write in pain, sweat grazing my brow.

"How can we help?" Azriel pleaded.

"You can't, you must leave us to work," she said referring to the other healers already pressing cold towels to my face.

"Over my dead body do I leave her side right now," Cassian grumbled.

"Do you want her to die? You'll only be in the way general. Use your head." she argued ushering them out and locking the doors.

The hours in between the closing of the doors and finally giving birth were brutal, not only for yo but for your mates.

They sat outside the door and listened to your screams the entire time.

Azriel nearly ripped his hair out from the sounds of them.

They nearly jumped to their feet at the sound of a baby crying from inside.

But then they heard you a screaming again.

Any happiness died out.

After a few minutes they heard the baby crying again and your screams stopped.

15 minutes later Madja came out holding not one but two small bundles in her arms.

"congratulations, you are the proud fathers of two healthy baby boys," she beamed.

Twins

Rhys and Cassian took the twin boys in their arms, as Azriel was too scared to touch them at first.

"They have wings," Cassian beamed running his hand over the tiny wings.

"Is she?" Rhys asked Madja.

"The mother is perfectly healthy. She needs to nurse the babies, but she insisted that I bring them to you first." Madja smiled.

"can we see her?" Azriel asked.

"Of course you can," Madja said.

The boys carried the twin babies in to see you once more.

You reached out your hands for the one in Rhys arms, the oldest, by a few minutes. He gave him to you and thankfully he latched right away.

"You did so well mate," Azriel said placing a kiss on your forehead.

"How did you boys manage to put twins in me on the first try?" You rasped out, voice still horse.

"If you recall it was no small feat," Cassain smiled.

After feeding them both you slept soundly.

While Cassain and Rhys might've been the first to hold your sons, Azriel was the first one to fall asleep with them. One in each arm.

Taglist: @crystalferret202, @nickishadow139, @eerievixen, @why4anne, @loglady00, @heartless-tate, @callsigns-haze, @fxckmiup, @highladyivy, @highladyivy

Permanent taglist: @fides25

[mxtantrights]

Jason finding out his so is pregnant with twins? 🤔

probably really shocked. like big shock. didn't think that when the two of you were trying that this could happen. well, the chances aren't zero but it is low. low enough that it didn't even register that it could happen.

after the initial shock wears off Jason is probably trying to figure out how he's going to raise two kids with you. thinking about raising one was a total mind wreck, but this? This is going to take some planning. fine tuned planning.

Jason was already going to read all the pregnancy books but now he's reading double the amount. there are more ifs and maybes now that it's twins.

this also means that Jason has to make some investments. like two car seats. two car strollers. an actually car and not a motorcycle. (somehow the bat mobile is able to fit two car seats, don't ask how he finds this out)

doesn't want to know the genders. oh Jason is totally the type to want it to be a surprise. he wants to find out when you give birth. not at a baby shower and not in a doctors office.

probably stares at amazement at you all the time. not only are you carrying one life, you're carrying two.

satisfies all of your cravings. peanut butter and pickles? ice cream and French fries? done. foot massages, shoulder massages, soothing sounds to fall asleep to.

he also lets you sleep closest to the door for the nine months only because he knows you'll have to use the bathroom and it's easier and quicker for you to be near the door. but as soon as you've birthed the twins he's right back to sleeping closest to the door.

takes Polaroid pictures of you doing mundane things. says it's for the photo album that Alfred is putting together. (one day you ask Alfred about said photo album and he doesn't have any idea what you're talking about.)

Jason wants to name one of them, and he wants you to name the other. and he won't tell you the name ideas he has/won't listen to you if you try to tell him yours. likes surprises in this instance only!!

Jason probably has to be talked down from painting the room some ugly color. he wants to be inclusive but throw-up yellow is not it!

his siblings take care of a lot of things for him without him having to ask. suddenly the corners and sockets in the house are baby proofed. six month supply of diapers. wholesale club membership card in your name approved.

day of the birth Jason is calm on the outside but freaking out on the inside. he won't show it because you're already going through so much. (you find out about halfway through and ask him to freak out without)

you're in labor for twelve hours. Jason is there for all of it. he doesn't leave your side. the siblings become your henchmen. you need ice chips? Damian's got it. You need a nurse? Cass and Duke have your back. Need to watch better channels on the hospital tv? Tim is your guy.

Bruce talks to Jason while they both stare at your twins through the glass window of the nursery. Bruce doesn't have to say much, he knows Jason will be a good dad. And Jason likens Bruce's belief in him to his childhood with Bruce. Yes it wasn't normal but it was a childhood he'll never forget.

Jason carries both babies in his arms for the firs time and cries. Like silent tears rolling down his cheeks. You start crying too.

Jason's name for baby #1: Cassie

Your name for baby #2: Peter

a/n: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!! THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN ANON <33333 didn't know how much I needed Jason to be a dad until I did this. you're a rockstar!!

[brucewaynehater101]

I have a spooky Tim au that I think you would like.

Tim is not human and has never been. He knows this. His "parents" know this. The rouges know this. However, none of the Bats but one know this. When around the Bats, Tim looks like a Normal Human. His skin is pale but does look like flesh and his eyes are weirdly pale but they still look like eyes. His hair has a weird texture but its prob just his shampoo, so surely the slightly off texture in how his skin feels is just his lotion, right? His teeth are a bit sharp but still human teeth and his movements a bit odd, but what Bat doesn't move strangely?

However when they aren't around, it is a totally different story. His skin changes to look like porcelain and his eyes are so very clearly made of painted glass. His hair is made of string and twine died black and when its fist or foot lands a blow it feels like being hit by a sand bag and not flesh and bone. His teeth are made of shards of broken glass and his movements are far to Jerry yet smooth, like a puppet on strings that glides through the air in a horrible mimicry of walking. This Thing that wears the Robin Suit is Not a human, as long as it isn't around Batman or Nightwing. When either are there, The Rouges can see the shift. The way it suddenly looks so *human*. But once Batman leaves it shifts back into being a *thing*.

Tim is only a Thing when he is either scaring the rouges or Truly Comfortable. Young Justice knows that Tim is not a human and he doesn't hide it from them. There is never any fight about his civilian identity because he freely tells them, "I am a Thing made from Glass and Sand and Fabric and Magic. He is not a Person nor has he ever Been A Person. He is not some poor sap who was transformed into a Thing, he is a Thing that was created and then given life with Magic.

As for how Jack and Janet acquired a Thing like Tim, well. They're archeologists. They dug up an old tomb, found a coffin that was chained closed and bolted to the ground and like every White Person In A Horror Movie, they opened it without a second thought. Inside they found an ancient, cursed doll. It came to life when Janet cut herself trying to clean off one of its broken glass eyes to get a better look and the blood fell on it. The pair then decided this was a lot easier than child birth and kept the cursed doll, naming it Tim.

My gods. I love the ending of this cause it gives off the same vibes as "humans will adopt anything" tropes in space travel fiction.

I have one caveat with the Bats not knowing. I hc that Cass knows. Tim's body language is too strange for her not to notice something.

Everything else? Beautiful. It would be hilarious if people keep trying to tell the Bats. Here's a possible scene:

Goon: *points finger at Tim* "That thing beside you isn't human!"

Tim: *fakes having his shoulders drop as he turns slightly away in dejection*

Dick: *absolute fury as he beats up the goon*

Tim: *decides not to get revenge after seeing what Nightwing does to the person*

or

Rogue: "I'm telling ya, whatever he is got string hair, porcelain skin, and doll like movements to him."

Batman: *hums, takes them out, proceeds to Batcave*

Tim: "What's up, B?"

Bruce: "[] said that you look different when we're not around you."

Tim: *tilts his head* "I mean, I like playing up the rumors that the Bats are cryptids, demons from hell, spirits, or whatever when I can. I add effects to my costume to increase the spook factor."

Bruce: *nods and turns away to end the conversation for now*

Tim: *makes plots to ruin that rogue's life for a bit as revenge and a message*

I'm curious how wounds and scars look on Tim's porcelain skin. How does he heal? Does he even have a spleen?

I'm also down for two avenues:

Jason doesn't know like the rest of the Bats. After they start to become close to each other, Jason retaliates against folk who try to demean Tim. He tries to hide the comments from Tim until he learns that the teen finds it funny and ramps up the rumors on purpose. Then he switches to pulling pranks on people with Tim to create more wild theories and gossip.

Jason finds out at TT, and Tim ensures no one actually believes Jason. Perhaps he even starts the notion that Jason was affected by the Pit. It drives Jason bonkers that no one is trusting him or accepting his words for what they are.

[scoobydoodean]

would love to hear more about the “chuck was the one who brainwashed cas and kelly actually” theory, thank you :)

Okay so I'm going to sound like I'm not addressing your question at all at first but just bear with me.

One of the primary reasons that the baby brainwashing incident fascinates me is that Cas's actions are a betrayal of his and Dean's bond on a foundational level. I'm not talking about The Colt or the mixtape (though they're related).

Dean and Cas's relationship as handler and charge was shed and a real, genuine bond bloomed in 4.22, after this exchange:

DEAN Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families -- that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn? CASTIEL What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam. DEAN You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. 

These are the words that convince Cas to rebel. These are the words that dissolve Cas's doubts in doubt, and convince him to follow his convictions instead of act on blind faith. Shortly after this conversation, Cas flies Dean to Chuck, who tells them what they're up to isn't supposed to happen. This becomes a theme of Dean and Cas's relationship.

Together, Dean and Cas do things that aren't supposed to happen—that aren't part of God's plan. They do something Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.18. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.22. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 5.22.

Dean and Cas's relationship, at its very core, is built upon the rejection of two things: 1) Destiny and 2) Paradise—and by the end of "The Future", Cas explicitly (in the production draft) embraces destiny and paradise... and that screams Chuck.

This is what Cas says to Kelly right after the devil baby brainwashing at the very end of "The Future". The "Paradise" part doesn't make it to the final cut—just the "future" part... but the Paradise part is implied by the "future" part anyway.

What else happens in "The Future"? Kelly says the line.

It's not supposed to happen this way.

She says the line that Chuck said every time Dean and Cas defied the writing during the first apocalypse by doing something Chuck couldn't or didn't anticipate. Kelly says this after Sam and Dean catch up to Castiel—after Sam and Dean convince Cas to just talk through all of this with them and not jump to the nuclear option of murdering Kelly—to consider an alternative plan where Kelly and Jack's lives are both preserved because Jack is born a regular baby. The moment Cas begins to agree to talk, Kelly says "It's not supposed to happen this way."

Now let's talk about Kelly. Her behavior this entire episode is insane. She begins the episode despairing because giving birth to Jack will kill her. She then tries to kill herself, but Jack won't let her die—and this throws Kelly into a sort of religious fervor—convincing her that Jack is actually good and could revolutionize the world. Her belief in this is so powerful that when Sam and Dean arrive, she immediately rejects the plan they've come up with that will spare her and Jack's lives:

Sam: No, Kelly, if you go with Cass, you die. Your baby dies. Kelly: I go with you, you take away the thing that makes him special.

She sounds nuts. Like. Imagine saying you'd rather you and your baby DIE than have a "normal" baby. Your baby HAS to be a special baby or you'd rather be dead? Uh... ew—and to a point that screams supernatural brainwashing.

Of course—Kelly's actions aren't quite as irrational as they seem because right before Sam and Dean arrived, Kelly was shown something by "Jack". She got Cas to lay his palm on her belly, and "Jack" showed her a vision of the future. After she takes off with Cas in the impala, she says,

When you put your hand on my stomach, I heard him. He spoke to me. He told me that even if it seems scary, if I just went to the gate, if I just followed your plan, that you would make sure he was born.

So even as she's driving herself straight into Cas's plan to kill her and her baby, Kelly believes everything will be fine—because "Jack" showed her the future... and the thing is? She's... not wrong. "Jack" did show her the future. "Jack" showed her a tiny moment that actually does happen at the end of the episode—Cas standing between her and Dagon and saying "You stay away from her".

Why do I keep putting "Jack" in quotes here? Because Jack never displays the ability to see the future after his birth, and yet "Jack" did have this power from the womb... only? Yeah... I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was someone else—someone who showed Kelly what they had already written.

I'll also note in 13.01, that Jack doesn't seem to remember... any of this happening—at least not in the same way. In fact, he recalls very little leading up to his birth. The way he describes it, his sole knowledge of the world prior to his birth came from Kelly speaking to him while he was in the womb... but also... not? Because he says he was Kelly?

SAM: How do you speak English? JACK: My mother taught me. SAM: So you talked to her. JACK: I was her. JACK: My mother, she said Castiel, he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place. That's -- that's why I couldn't be a baby or a child. I... That's why I had to grow up fast. That's why I chose him to be my father. Where is he?

It's all pretty confusing, but something blinks at me here: Jack says Kelly told him Castiel would keep him safe and indicates that he chose Castiel as his father based on Kelly's assessment. However, Kelly told us Jack showed her the future which told her that Castiel would keep Jack safe back in 12.19. These are two contradictory stories. What if a third party sowed both?

Two other little bits:

First:

Kelly: Maybe – maybe everything that I've been through, everything that I still have to go through, is happening for a reason. Maybe it's part of some plan. Castiel: No, it isn't. I used to believe in a plan. I used to believe that I had some mission. But I have been through enough now to know that everyone is just winging it. 

Castiel does a 180 on this by the end of the episode and it screams Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck.

Second:

If you go to the 12.19 production draft (graciously provided to the fandom through @/spnscripthunt) on page 45, you'll see something that never made it to screen—Cas's vision of paradise.

Only—these visions don't seem to come to fruition unlike Kelly's vision of Cas protecting her. The bits with Dean and Castiel's wings don't feel like the future anyway—they... just feel like what Cas wants most desperately at that time—to be a protector and provider who can handle everything on his own—who needs a "win". This is another theme of the episode. Cas stole The Colt in a misguided attempt to protect his family from having to be directly involved in the ruthless murder Cas had determined would be necessary. He didn't believe there was any other choice, and he wanted to spare Sam and Dean the pain of being involved in the dirty work.

Sam: Then – Then why didn't you call us? Cas, we could've helped you. Castiel: I know. I wanted to keep you out of this. I-I was trying to keep you safe. Dean: You're not our babysitter, Cas, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?

This probably stings for Cas because he knows they aren't, and he wants them to be—he wants his family to be safe... all without having to discard his conscience by killing Kelly. He wants her to be safe too! The stuff he sees gives him what he wants--Sam and Dean and Kelly happy and safe—Dean thanking him—Cas once more a fully powered angel who doesn't need anybody's help.

But all of this stuff he sees? It's a lie. It's a lie because it never happens, but it's also a lie because destiny is always a lie. Paradise is always a lie. God's plan is just a way to keep them all in line... and Cas is trying to secure paradise for someone who said they'd take the pain and the guilt over someone else's vision of their paradise.

[ciel-em]

Eldritch/Cryptid batfam au where Bruce gives birth to all his kids Surinam toad style.

Don't care if he has wings or is a shadow body because he will have babies pop out of his back. In my head he can only have 3 max and they'll come out something like human children of 9 years old.

How do the holes show up? Idk magic or whatever. How do the babies not fall out while he's fighting crime? There's a translucent film over the holes that keeps the babies safely inside that they break when coming out.

He doesn't actually have sex. This is going to go like the fic Bouncing Baby Bat in which they're souls of the children of Gotham. Tweaking it though by them actually made from fragments of children souls that are killed in Gotham. This way it is explained why there's a gap between the births of his children.

And he does need to give birth in a place that is really fuckin dark or very low lighting at least.

Because I do want him to traumatize the JL so he gets his first batch of kids after already joining the justice league for some time. The first time they're on the watchtower and Bruce rushed to get to the cave because it's safe and dark. He doesn't tell the league anything, but they do see little hands coming out of his back. (Think human babies in the belly pushing their hand or foot out)

The batches are:

Dick, Cass, Jason

Steph, Tim, Harper

Duke, Cullen, Damian

They think that's all Bruce will have especially since they asked him when the next will be and his response is "No more". They just didn't know he meant no more right now.

Cue his actual last batch of Terry, Carrie, and Matt.

[surielstea]

Adoration | Drabble

Based on this request.

Pairing: Cassian x Fem!Reader

Summary: Cass comforts reader who is struggling with her reflection after giving birth.

Warnings: Body image issues | fluff

1k words

A/N: YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFERENT CAN DISRESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF. (Said in a loving way) 💙💙

Finding an outfit for dinner with the Inner Circle turned out to be the most challenging task I've been given today. I stood in front of the full length mirror with a woeful frown on my face.

The navy blue dress I wore was beautiful on the hanger but on me it just, wasn't right. I couldn't place exactly what it was about me but I couldn't find it in myself to feel pretty anymore. The material sat wrong on my skin and the color washed my complexion out. I felt mediocre, at best.

"Mother spare me." My mate voices from the doorway and I startled, flicking my eyes to him in the mirror and crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know, I should change." I mumble, thinking it stupid of me for even attempting to wear something so bold.

"What— why would you change?" He creases his dark brows, clearly confused. I turn to him, letting my arms fall to my sides.

"I look bad." I shrug and he blinks, gazing at me like I'm insane.

"You? Look bad?" He asked as if the idea was preposterous, his tone utterly aghast.

"Yeah." I sigh and walk over to the armoire, opening the doors of the wardrobe.

"Sweetheart, you're the most beautiful female I've ever seen." He walks further into the bedroom, our daughter cooing in her crib as he passed by her.

"You're only saying that because I'm your mate." I grumble, shuffling through the racks of clothing I no longer had any confidence to wear.

"No, before we were even mated I thought the same." He argues and I swivel, looking straight up at him.

"That was before I had Ellia." I gesture towards the crib beside me. His eyes go wide in shock and he glances towards the babbling babe then back to me, hazel now full of pure warmth.

"That only makes you more beautiful," His expression softens as he brings his large calloused hands up to my cheeks. "You look just like her, that's more than I could've asked for." He utters, his thumbs stroking the sides of my cheeks.

"It's not about my face." I murmur, crossing my arms over my torso again.

"What? Your body?" He arches a brow. I give a slight dip of my head. "My love, I'd never want to invalidate how you feel but, c'mon, this is foolish." His hands leave my cheeks and go to my shoulders, running down my arms and dipping to my hips. "Ive seen you decapitate men twice my size, you're the last Valkyrie standing and you're letting this get you down?" He tilts his head and I tear my gaze from his, turning back around toward the clothes.

"I know, It's dumb." I huff, finally finding an all black dress that wasn't tight in any unflattering places.

"It's not dumb, I'm sorry," he wraps his arms around my waist, my back flush against his chest. "You birthed a living child less than a month ago, do you know how much I admire you because of that?" He asks and I can't help but melt into his warmth. "The fact you can think so lowly of yourself is insanity, you're the most beautiful female I've ever seen." He reiterates, his strong arms tightening around me. "I love you, okay?" He hums into my hair and I nod.

"I love you too." My hands rest on his, running my thumb over a small scar on the back of his palm. He presses a hard kiss to my temple and he takes the black dress from my hold, hanging it back up on the rack. "Leave this on." His hands drift down to my hips. "I want to take it off of you later." He hums, pressing his lips to the side of my jaw and I roll eyes at the comment.

"You're ridiculous." I shake my head, but close the doors of the armoire anyways and let him have what he wants.

"Conceiving another child could take years, I want Ellia to have a sibling." He shrugs and I scoff turning to look up at him.

"You're a very dedicated male." I rise onto the tips of my toes to peck his lips. "And also forgetful that we can't do whatever we want anymore." I intone, bending down over the edge of the crib and picking the murmuring babe up. She wore a frilly dark red dress, matching her father's siphons.

"I can find a babysitter, maybe Az is free..." He wonders absentmindedly and I giggle. "We've both learned from experience that Az isn't a very good chaperone." I croon, rocking the child in my arms. "No, uncle Az isn't good at watching people is he my sweet?" I coo at Ellia in a high-pitched voice and she reaches towards me, her small fist clenching, trying to grab my nose. I smile and kiss her forehead.

I look back up to Cassian and he's staring at me like I hung every star in the night sky, pure adoration and devotion in those swirling hazel eyes, staring at the two most important people in his life. "Thank you Cassian." I speak lightly. His eyes flick down to the child in my arms then back up to me.

"Don't ever thank me." He shakes his head, taking the girl from my arms as I pass her to him. She was so much smaller in his grasp, she made him look like an absolute giant. "And you, my heart," He kisses his daughter on the cheek, a wide smile spreads over her lips. "You don't even thank me for anything either." He hums, matching her cheeky grin.

"C'mon, we're going to be late." I say, wrapping my arm around his bicep. "Fine with me," He purrs, leaning down and kissing up my jaw. "Cass, Rhys will kill me if we don't show up again." I playfully punch his abdomen and he backs away.

"Alright fine." He sighs, readjusting the child to be held in one arm so he can intertwine his freehand with mine. "But we're only staying for dinner. I was serious about that sibling thing."

Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glam-targaryen @going-through-shit @fauxdette @impossibelle @amara-moonlight @webecheesy-blog

Comment a “💙” to be added to the general taglist!

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[thedeviltohisangel]

“You’re mine.” “I’m yours. Only yours.”

with bucky being respectfully and consensually possessive of cass when harding or some random slimy gross man flirts with her on base or after the war. just her reassuring him that there is no man on earth quite like bucky egan and she'd be a fool to let him think otherwise

DROP TO MY KNEES BLURB PROMPT ERA

I went with slimy gross man after the war. I kind of wanted to do Cass' first time out post twins? Let us dive in...

Cass looked at the two snuffling little babies in their bassinets with a deep sigh. Was it really worth an entire night away from them? Could she really handle going out to dinner without them? Getting drinks and dancing all the while knowing they were at home and probably missing her?

"Baby, I know that look on your face." John came out of their closet adjusting his cufflinks. "Both Alice and Joan are staying with them and Butter is here as their guard dog. Everything will be fine." Butter nudged at her hand, Cass moving it to scratch behind his ear as he rested against her thigh.

"I know I can't stay cooped up forever but what if they need something that only I can give them? What if they think I've abandoned them for a martini and some music?" Her husband brought her into his arms and kissed her lips like he wanted to do more.

"We don't have to go if you aren't comfortable. You say the word and we put our pajamas on and dance to the record player downstairs and watch these two until we fall asleep." He meant it. The reservation would be forgotten and they'd have their date night right here in this house. All John really wanted was to hold her and tell her how much he loved her. Anywhere he could do that was alright in his book.

"No, you've been looking forward to this for days and I bought a new dress and we haven't had time with just ourselves in so long." He lovingly patted her bottom.

"You make me so happy," he whispered, "I love you so much, Cass. So much."

"I love you, too, my Johnny. More than words could ever really describe." Love had taken on a new meaning for them both since the birth of their children. It had expanded in a way to include the new additions and demonstrate what the love of a parent was but contracted to tighten around this inner circle. It was denser and covered more, provoked a new level of protectiveness in them they weren't aware even existed. And watching Cass become a mother to their babies and John become a father in kind...they didn't know there was another inch of the other to fall in love with but they were finding new ways every day.

"My beautiful wife going to let this old lad take her out for dinner and dancing?" It was so normal that it hurt his chest. Sometimes John had to remind himself the war was over and he could simply take Cass out to dinner or for a nightcap.

"And she wants dessert."

"My wife can have her cake and eat it too."

-

Dinner was perfect. They giggled and sat on the same side of the booth so they could kiss and cuddle whenever they pleased. John had her laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and he had buried his blushing face in her neck more than once with the way her tongue was playing with the straw of her drink.

They felt like little kids, lightheaded on love and drunk on their sips of cocktails, as he led her into the bustling club down the street. They could hear the band from outside and Cass ached to have John twirl her around on the dancefloor and kiss him senselessly while they were sweaty and their hearts thrummed.

"A reserved table? Lieutenant Colonel, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get lucky tonight." She nodded politely as the host left, John holding her hand to help her up the tiny step of the raise floor that their table was on.

"Oh, I've gotten plenty lucky. Got the most gorgeous woman in the entire world on my arm tonight. The cutest little babies in the entire world sleeping peacefully at home. A mischievous dog who I sometimes have staring contests with but do love at the end of the day." Cass pulled him so he stood between her legs.

"Wait until I tell him you said that."

"He'll be indifferent." She giggled and kissed him. "You stay put, Mrs. Egan. I'm going to get you something to drink." Two pecks to her lips and he was slipping through the crowd to the bar. Her jaw dropped into her hand as she dreamily watched her husband from afar. She thinks he had a face that could launch a thousand ships.

"Aren't you a ravishing young lady." Her back straightened abruptly as she turned towards the unfamiliar male voice to her left.

"Excuse me?"

"Can I buy you a drink? Offer you a dance?" Cass looked down at her engagement ring and wedding band to be sure they were still snugly on her finger.

"No," she answered simply. In her mind she was praying this man took his leave before John returned. He never responded well to someone making her uncomfortable.

"Come on, sweets, it's just one drink." The man moved to touch her hand and she pulled it back quickly. Undeterred, he took a step closer. "Either you dance with me willingly or unwillingly. Your choice you little-"

"I beg of you, please finish that sentence." Drinks abandoned at the bar, John stood behind the man with a murderous tinge to his blue eyes. "Go ahead. Finish the sentence. Tell me what you were about to call my wife." Both John and Cass were aware that she could handle herself. He had seen it firsthand and heard the stories of just how capable she was at handling herself. But she couldn't help the soar of her heart whenever he was like this. Her shield. Her partner. Her protector.

"Look, man, I didn't know she was-" The rest of the excuse died in his throat as John palmed the back of his head and pushed until the man's forehead bounced off the edge of the table.

"Didn't know she was my wife? Because you don't respect her enough on her own?" John dropped the grip on his hair he had and the man folded onto the floor. He crouched down and looked him in the eye. "I belong to her. And it enrages me when people disrespect her. Even more when it's pieces of shit like you."

"I'm sorry, I-" John tutted his tongue.

"Not to me. You look her in the eyes and apologize and if I don't think you mean it, we'll do this song and dance until either I crack your fucking skull or I believe you. Got it?" The man nodded and nearly whimpered his apology to Cass. John looked at her, silently asking if it was enough or if she needed him to say it again. She tilted her head to the right to signal to let him go which John did so reluctantly.

"C'mere, my love," Cass beckoned until her arms were around his neck. "Thank you for protecting me."

"You're mine," he whispered sinfully against her lips, his kisses a featherlight touch as they traced her skin.

"Yours. Only yours," she whispered back.

John made sure to kiss her in a way where no one would question they belonged to each other the rest of the night.

[danikamariewrites]

Midday Cravings (pt. 3)

Nessian x reader

A/n: thank you to everyone who voted in the poll! It was super close between something fluffy and smut. But bc you all have been so supportive of these fics which I’m so grateful for I’m going to do a smutty part 4 bc I love you all❤️ I’m sorry this is so short but it was just a cute lil idea I had

Warnings: mentions of child birth

Ailith. That’s what you had named your perfect little girl. The birth was tough due to her wings, but it was worth every second of pain to bring her into the world. It had been two months since you gave birth. She has her father’s beautiful tan skin, your bright eyes, and Nesta’s curiosity.

Nesta and Cassian were fantastic parents as well. They we’re so hands on with her, you were so grateful. You knew Nesta was scared to be a mom and had other doubts, like the baby not liking her. But that all disappeared when Nesta was the first person Ailith smiled at.

And Cassian was already wrapped around her little finger. Those two were attached at the hip, you knew she’d be a daddy’s girl the second he started talking to her when she was still in your belly. The first time Cassian held her it was for skin-to-skin contact a few hours after she had been born. Ailith snuggled into him, letting out the cutest little sigh and Cass started bawling his eyes out.

She just woke up from her nap so you brought her downstairs to eat and play with you and Nesta. Ailith was the happiest baby you’d ever seen. So smiley and giggly. Whenever you held her your day immediately got better.

You hadn’t slept much in the last few weeks though, which was driving you crazy. Ailith had started getting fussy at night when it came to bed time. It made you very emotional, you felt like you were doing something wrong. Sometimes she wouldn’t go down unless Cassian was rocking her to sleep. You happily let Cassian put her to sleep, but you were up with her only a few hours later.

Nesta was already sitting on the floor surrounded by her favorite toys. Her face lit up as you two got closer and she held her hands out for the baby. Letting Nesta take her you sat on the floor slumping against the base of the big arm chair.

“Y/n, don’t take this the wrong way because I’m saying this with love, but you look so tired. Why don’t you go lay down for a while.” She gave you a sympathetic look. Ailith pulled on the loose strands of Nesta’s braid and her attention immediately went to the baby girl.

You loved watching Nesta play with her. You never wanted to miss a moment of time together. But you knew you had to sleep. “Ok. But I’m staying on the couch. And you have to wake me up if she does anything cute.” Nesta rolled her eyes, “ok but you might as well stay up. Because everything she does is so cute. Isn’t it? Aren’t you just the cutest?” She cooed at Ailith.

The second your head hit the pillow you knocked out. You only slept a few hours but it was better than nothing. When you woke up you were laying on Cassian’s chest while Ailith dozed in Nesta’s arms. Sitting up you stifle a yawn, “Sorry Nes. I didn’t mean to sleep that long. I can take her if you want.”

Nesta gives you a look that says ‘yeah, right’ as Cassian pulls you back to rest on him. “Oh hush you,” he whispered. “You deserve rest and care too you know.” Closing your eyes, you feel yourself relaxing. “You’re right.” You murmur.

Cassian rubs your back and whispers sweet nothings in your ear about how much they love you and how strong you are. You feel so happy, having your little family sitting together just relaxing and being happy.

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

[queermarzipan]

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK

[append 12ft.io/ at the start all urls if you don't have a telegraph account]

Sex is biological fact, NHS declares in landmark shift against gender ideology

Campaigners welcome change to constitution, which will ban trans women from female-only wards, as ‘return to common sense’

Laura Donnelly, Health Editor

30 April 2024 • 12:01am

The NHS is to declare that sex is a matter of biology in a landmark shift against gender ideology.

Changes to the health service’s written constitution proposed by ministers will for the first time ban trans women from women-only wards, and give women the right to request a female doctor for intimate care.

The NHS constitution, a document that aims to set out the principles and values of the health service and legal rights for patients and staff, was last updated in 2015. It has to be updated at least every 10 years by the Secretary of State. 

Campaigners for women’s rights welcomed the significant shift, which comes after years of wrangling and follows accusations that the health service had been captured by “gender ideology”.

In 2021, NHS guidance said trans patients could be placed in single-sex wards based on the gender with which they identified.

The new constitution will state: “We are defining sex as biological sex.”

The clarification means that the right to a single-sex ward means patients would “not have to share sleeping accommodation with patients of the opposite biological sex”.

Until now, no commitment was made to biological sex, meaning some female patients complained that they were forced to share sleeping space with trans women – those who are born male but identify as female.

Women’s rights campaigners said the move was a “return to common sense and an overdue recognition that women’s wellbeing and safety matter.”

However, NHS leaders raised concerns that the health service was being “dragged into a pre-election culture wars debate”.

The changes to the constitution are a further indication of a change in attitudes after the Cass review into the NHS’s gender identity services found evidence that allowing children to change gender was built on weak foundations.

Dr Hilary Cass, a paediatrician, said allowing “social transitioning” for young people – when they are treated as the opposite gender – could “change their trajectory” and lead to them pursuing a potentially damaging medical pathway in later life.

The updates to the constitution will also include the introduction of a duty to help patients get back to work and embed “Martha’s Rule” into the framework of the health service.

This follows pledges by Victoria Atkins, the Health Secretary, to give families the right to access a rapid review from an outside team if a patient is deteriorating. It is named after 13-year-old Martha Mills, who died in 2021 after medics missed signs of sepsis and failed to heed warnings from her parents that their daughter’s condition was getting worse.

Women will also be given the right to request that intimate care is provided, where reasonably possible, by someone of the same biological sex.

It follows warnings that some female patients have been pressured into accepting such care from trans-identifying staff who were born male.

The proposed changes will also see discrimination requirements updated, with the word gender replaced with sex.

Gender reassignment remains a protected characteristic, meaning that a transgender patient could be given their own room in a hospital to protect their right to a single-sex service.

The document also places a duty on health providers to use “clear terms” to communicate and take account of biological differences. It follows pledges from ministers to stop NHS trusts using terms like “chestfeeding” and “people who give birth”.

In February, Ms Atkins highlighted her concerns, telling The Telegraph: “We need to be making this robust case to refuse to wipe women out of the conversation.”

On Tuesday, she said: “We want to make it abundantly clear that if a patient wants same-sex care they should have access to it wherever reasonably possible.

“We have always been clear that sex matters and our services should respect that.

“By putting this in the NHS constitution we’re highlighting the importance of balancing the rights and needs of all patients to make a healthcare system that is faster, simpler and fairer for all.”

Maya Forstater, chief executive of gender critical group Sex Matters, said: “It is excellent news that the NHS constitution is being revised to put ‘sex’ in its rightful place – at the heart of principle 1, which sets out that the NHS must treat everyone with equality and respect for their human rights.

“The confusion between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ in official policies like the NHS constitution is what has enabled women’s rights to be trampled over in the name of transgender identities.

“Sex, of course, is a matter of biology, not identity, and it is welcome that the NHS is now spelling this out in relation to single-sex accommodation and intimate care.”

Ms Forstater said too many female patients seeking that intimate care be given by a woman had been pressured into accepting a trans-identifying male instead.

“Healthcare providers have become confused and frightened by the idea that a gender recognition certificate, or even just a personal identity claim, overrides other people’s rights when it comes to same-sex care from healthcare professionals.”

She said the shift was “simply a return to common sense and an overdue recognition that women’s wellbeing and safety matter.”

Matthew Taylor, chief executive of the NHS Confederation, which represents healthcare leaders, said its members would review the proposals in detail.

However, he added: “What is absolutely clear at this stage is that a focus on high-quality care for all is maintained and that the NHS is not dragged into a pre-election culture wars debate. This is not where energies should be focused.”

Mr Taylor said staff worked hard to show fairness and compassion towards all patients.

“In particular, groups of people, including trans and non-binary patients, continue to receive some of the worst health outcomes of any group in our society and NHS leaders and staff will want to do all they can to support these patients, as well as their trans and non-binary staff to reduce inequalities.

“Whatever changes are eventually introduced following the consultation need to be clear and workable for NHS staff, who should not expect to have to interpret ambiguous guidance at a local level.”

The eight-week consultation will be the first stage of a review of the constitution.

The Government will consider responses from everyone, including the public, clinicians and medical professionals, patients, carers and organisations representing patients and staff and health stakeholders, before publishing the consultation response and the new NHS constitution.

Louise Ansari, chief executive of Healthwatch England said: “The NHS constitution plays a crucial role in shaping the culture of our NHS and helping the public to know their rights.

“Since the NHS constitution launched, it has helped to shift the balance of power from services towards patients and their families. But, with only a third of people knowing their rights, there is still a long way to go.

“Given the challenges our NHS faces, a conversation to reaffirm and raise awareness of the most important rights to the public has never been more timely.

“We urge everyone to take part in the consultation and have their say. This is your opportunity to send a clear message about the rights you hold most dear.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender No Outbreak AU - Ch. 2

You and Joel have a conversation. A continuation of Lavender No Outbreak AU Ch. 1 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! I'm not gonna get into detail, it's smutty guys. Just lean into it. Discussion of pregnancy. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 6.6k

Joel’s grip was so loose on you that you took your arm back and left him there, staring where you’d been standing. You went to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from a catering tray, and ducked into a bathroom. You rinsed your mouth out before sitting on the toilet lid and chugging the rest of the water, trying to make yourself take full, deep breaths and not dissolve into a state of panic. The band was still playing outside, an occasional loud laugh made its way through the walls to your little panic room. It was strange, that life was just going on for everyone else and everything had ground to a halt for you. 

You finished the water and rinsed your mouth out with the Listerine from your purse before you took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. 

Joel was standing there, leaning against the wall next to the door, making you jump. 

“Sorry,” he said. His eyes kept drifting to your stomach. “Wasn’t trying to scare you…” 

“Let me find Cass,” you said, crossing one arm protectively in front of yourself, holding on to your elbow. “Then we can go and… Talk.” 

“Yeah.” 

Cassie knew what happened the second she saw you, her eyebrows drawing together. She pulled you into a quick hug. 

“Text me,” she said, giving you a squeeze. “Love you.” 

“Love you too,” you squeezed her back. 

 Joel opened your door for you but the drive was quiet. You chewed your lower lip and fidgeted with the hem of your sweater. 

“We could go to that coffee shop you like,” he said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. 

“Sure,” you said, glancing at him. His jaw was tight, his hand on the wheel tense. Your stomach twisted. 

You were both silent again, your arms crossed over your stomach, covering the gnawing hollowness at the center of you. You could practically see Joel’s wheels turning and it was exactly what you didn’t want. There wasn’t a problem here for him to solve, you didn’t WANT his help, you didn’t WANT him thinking shit through. You bit your lip. 

He tried to order for you at the coffee shop but you cut him off when he started to say “iced lavender latte.” 

“Just a decaf coffee,” you said quickly. He frowned and you shrugged. “Caffeine.” 

“Right…” 

You sat down at the same table you’d been at when you’d first met him. You wondered if he remembered that, too. Probably not. 

“So you’re…” he began. 

“Yeah.” 

“And…” he paused, looking at his coffee cup on the table. He turned the paper cup in his big hand, back and forth. “And you’re sure it’s mine? It’s… it’s been a few months…” 

That stung. ‘It’s been a few months.’ Did that mean he’d moved on? At least to fucking someone else? As though it was perfectly reasonable to expect that after three years together… 

“It’s yours,” you replied. 

He took a deep breath. 

“OK,” he said, nodding slowly. “OK, we can figure…” 

“There doesn’t need to be a we,” you replied, watching him from across the table. “I’m not here because I want or need your help, Joel, I’m here because telling you is the right thing to do. But I don’t need anything from you.” 

He frowned. 

“You don’t…” 

“I don’t want your help,” you replied. “I can leave you off the birth certificate, if you want. Or we can figure something out where they visit you or you visit them when they’re big enough. Whatever you’re comfortable with. But I have a plan and I don’t need your help.” 

“What’s your plan?” He asked, still frowning. 

“I’m finishing the extra classes I’m taking this semester,” you said. “So that will be off my plate. I’m due in late March or early April - haven’t had the ultrasound yet but that’s the current estimate. I’ve got good health insurance and maternity leave at school. My expenses have been pretty low the last few years because I’ve been living with Nan so I’ve got what I didn’t spend on school in savings. I haven’t… Nan doesn’t know yet, so I might need to work out a new place to live but that’s doable and Louisa said I can stay with her for a bit if there’s a snag…”

“What do you mean if there’s a snag?” He asked. 

“Well Nan’s Nan,” you shrugged. “Don’t see her being thrilled about any of this. If she throws me out I wanted to have options…” 

“You really think she’d do that?” He looked upset. Mad, almost. “After you moved back there to take care of her…” 

“She’s going to say I’m making the same mistakes as my mother,” you said. “And she’s going to be pissed about it, I don’t blame her. Once she figures out she’s not going to be saddled with another kid she didn’t want I think she’ll warm up a bit but I’m not sure how it’s going to go before that. So I have a plan.

“Anyway, when school starts up again in the fall, Louisa’s got an in at a day care close to campus,” you said. “I’ll be able to go by on lunch…” 

“How are you going to handle medical school with a baby?” He asked. “Especially on your own?” 

“I’m not,” you laughed, looking at him like he was crazy. “Joel, medical school is off the table for now. I’m finishing the premed degree because I’m almost done with it and this semester is already paid for but medical school isn’t going to happen for years, if it happens at all.” 

“No,” he shook his head. “No, the whole… You can’t just not go…” 

“Yes I can,” you shrugged. His jaw was clenched. “Look, it’s not like it’s some big tragedy. So I don’t go to medical school, there’s one fewer doctor in the world, so what? I like teaching, I think I’m good at it. It’s fine if I’m a teacher for the rest of my life…”

“But it’s not what you want,” he was watching you. 

You shrugged. 

“Not about me anymore,” you said. “I’m not going to do what my parents did. This is my child, I love them. I’m going to put them first.” 

He ran his hands through his hair and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. 

“How did this happen?” He asked, looking back at you, sounding mad again. 

“I mean, you were there for the important part of that,” you laughed a little. “Think you’d know…” 

“No,” he shook his head. “No, you were on the pill…” 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “But it’s not 100% effective, especially when you don’t always use it right and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not as responsible as I should be when I’m away from home. I took it late a few days, missed it twice…” 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he was staring at the coffee cup in his hand on the table. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this…” 

He sounded so full of regret it made your chest hurt. You knew full well that you weren’t together anymore, that he’d never intended to have a family with you but he’d loved you once. Was having a child with you really that abhorrent of an idea?

You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath to keep from crying. 

“I know that,” you said, voice thick. “But this is happening. It’s not going to be like it was with Sarah’s mom. You don’t need to change anything about your life. You can never see me again if you don’t want��” 

“I’m supposed to just pretend like my kid isn’t across the country?” He asked. 

“If you want to,” you replied. “Or you can visit, like I said. I can send them to you, I wouldn’t keep them from you if you wanted to be involved. I’m just… I don’t want your money, I don’t want your time. You have no obligation to me. I made this call without you so I’m going to handle it without you…” 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said again. “It wasn’t supposed to work like this…” 

“Yeah,” you said, inches away from crying. “So you’ve said. Figure out what it is you want to do and just… I don’t know, call if you want to meet them.” 

You got up from the table before you lost control and left the coffee shop, walking back to your hotel alone. 

Monday, October 20, 2003 

“So when are you telling your grandmother?” Louisa was sitting on a lab table in your classroom as you packed up the last of your things for the day. 

“Maybe next week?” You shrugged. “I think I’ve had enough heartbreak for a few days…” 

“You really think it’s going to go that badly?” She asked. 

“Well,” you put your bag on your shoulder and took one last look around your classroom to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything. “I didn’t think telling Joel would be that bad and we both know how that one went…” 

Louisa had picked you up from the airport Sunday afternoon. The second you were in her car, you started crying, sobbing into her shoulder about everything that happened with Joel. 

“Oh Sweetie,” she put her arms around you in the airport loading zone. “It’ll be OK. I promise, it’ll be OK.” 

“And you really think your grandmother is going to go worse than that?” Louisa asked. “Because I’ll be honest, that sounded brutal.” 

“I was a dumbass,” you sighed as you went to the hall and closed your classroom behind you. “I should have known better. I went in expecting to talk to Joel, my boyfriend for some stupid reason, not my ex who had a perfectly reasonable reaction to finding out he was going to be tied to me in some way for the rest of his life.” 

“He should be so lucky,” Louisa muttered. You glared at her. “What? You’re a catch.” 

“I’m basically a step above a teen mom at this point,” you rolled your eyes. “Think we need to downgrade my stock a bit.” 

You heard a student call your name on the way out of the building. 

“Can I please do extra credit?” A junior, Amanda, ran up to you, her lab paper in her hands. “I know it’s just a B but it’s still a B and my mom is going to freak out if I don’t bring home at least an A minus…” 

“She’s going to get mad over a B?” You raised your eyebrows. She scrunched her nose and nodded. You sighed. “Well we don’t want that, do we?” You thought for a second. “Alright, here’s the deal. There are notes on that paper, fix the things that need improvement and resubmit it by the end of the week AND hang back after school on Wednesday to help me clean the lab equipment. The freshmen are doing frog dissection that day. Do both well and we’ll see how close that gets you to an A. Sound good?” 

“You’re a lifesaver,” she hugged you and you laughed for a second before patting her back a few times. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

She broke away from you and took off toward the student parking lot. You watched her go for a moment, waiting until she was out of earshot before turning to Louisa. 

“And that is the kind of mom I will not be,” you said. Louisa snorted. 

“It’s a low bar but I think you can clear that,” she clapped you on the shoulder and you laughed as you walked to the employee parking lot, opening the door with your hip. 

“I will take that…” your voice died in your throat as you froze, barely through the doors.

“Oh shit,” Louisa said, stopping beside you. “Is that…” 

“Yeah,” you breathed. 

Joel was standing there, leaning against his truck, hands in his pockets. 

“Hey, Baby.” 

***

Driving across the country alone was fucking exhausting. He felt like he could fall asleep standing up. Seeing you made it worth it, though. 

He’d stayed at the coffee shop staring at where you’d been sitting for longer than he cared to admit. He hadn’t realized you’d left at first. Thought maybe you’d gone to the bathroom or stepped outside for air or… fucking something besides just leaving. He’d have stopped you if he knew you were leaving. 

By the time he realized you were gone it felt far too late to follow you. 

You clearly wanted space. Fuck, it seemed like you wanted nothing to do with him at all. Everything you talked about, everything you laid out was just a way to make sure he wasn’t anywhere near you. Almost like you were desperate to never see him again. 

He thought about going by your hotel room - he was pretty sure he could remember which one you’d come out of when he’d picked you up - or just calling you. Repeatedly. But if you really wanted nothing to do with him, he should just leave you the fuck alone. 

So, he went home. And drank. More than he was proud of. 

How could he have done this again, to you of all people? Not that he was fucking anybody else - not that he even had the drive to fuck anybody else - but fuck, how had he not learned his goddamn lesson after Sarah’s mom? 

He and Lauren had just been having fun but the condom broke and she decided against an abortion. But she seemed to resent Joel for every second of motherhood she endured before she left. She snapped one afternoon. Sarah was five months old and had just started teething. She was crying constantly, clearly miserable and in pain, and Lauren was miserable too. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Joel tried to tell her as he held their screaming daughter. She rounded on him. 

“No, it’s not!” She snapped. “It’s not going to be OK! This is my fucking life now! Diapers and spit-up and fucking Sesame Street! There was shit I wanted to DO and it wasn’t this.” 

She was gone a week later. 

Joel didn’t want that for you. He’d refused to be the thing that ruined your life, refused to be the thing you resented. 

And yet, there he was. Drinking on his couch because he’d fucked your life up. 

He was still on the couch when Sarah came home the next morning. 

“Hey there sleepy,” she shook him awake, her head cocked to the side. “Looks like you had a fun night.” 

“Sure,” he sat up, blinking the sleep and the burgeoning hangover out of his eyes. “How was the tournament, Baby Girl?” 

“Eh, kinda crappy,” she shrugged, dropping her duffel bag on the coffee table. “We took fifth.” 

“That’s not bad,” Joel said. 

“Of ten.” 

“Well, did you have fun?” He asked. “That’s the important part.” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Lizzie’s mom let us rent a movie on the hotel room TV last night so I got to see the new Charlie’s Angels finally!” 

“That’s good,” he nodded. At least he had Sarah. He’d always have Sarah. 

“So,” she drew the word out and flopped down next to him on the couch. “Is she here?” 

“No, Baby Girl,” he put his face in his hands for a second, trying to wipe away the sleep. The frustration at himself. “She’s flying home today. She really wanted to see you, though.” 

She sighed. 

“What?” He asked, looking at her. 

“Nothing,” she picked at the couch cushion. 

“Sarah.” 

“I just…” She sighed again, looking at him. “I kinda hoped you guys would have figured stuff out this time.” 

He sighed. 

“We’ve been over this, Baby Girl…” 

“I know,” she cut him off. “But you’ve been pretty miserable the past few months…” 

“You could tell?” He frowned. She just looked at him, her brows raised. 

“And I bet she was, too,” she said. “I kind of thought…” She shrugged. “That if you both saw it you’d figure it out.” 

“You miss her,” Joel said. She nodded. “Yeah, me too. Think I might have screwed up a little too bad this time though, kiddo.” 

“Did you ask her?” She frowned. “If you screwed up too bad, I mean.” 

“Don’t think I can really just…” 

“Dad!” She groaned. “Come on. I’m getting kind of tired of you moping around here all the time and you’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t actually talk to her.” 

He sighed. 

“It’s a bit more complicated…” he paused. Sarah’s cell phone was pressed to her ear. “What are you doing?” 

“Calling her since you’re a chicken.” 

“Sarah!” He moved to snatch the phone from her but she leaned out of his reach. He glowered at her. She hung up the phone. 

“You lucked out,” she said smugly. “It went straight to voicemail.” 

“Probably on the plane,” he sighed. “Besides, not a phone conversation, anyway.” 

“OK,” she shrugged. “So go talk to her then.” 

“Go talk to her.” 

“Yup.” 

“Just go show up and talk to her.” 

“That’s what I said,” she replied. “Dad, you’re an idiot if you think you’re just going to magically get over her and everything is going to be OK. If you need to go talk to her then go talk to her! Maybe her plane hasn’t left yet…” 

Joel thought for a second. Sarah might just be right. He needed to talk to you - actually talk to you, where he could see you and have a serious conversation. You’d waited to talk to him in person and he’d fucking blown it. He could at least come to you. 

“She might still be at the airport,” he said, reaching in his pocket for his phone. He called Tommy. 

“Hey man,” he said quickly. “Need a favor…” 

Less than an hour later, Joel, Tommy and Sarah were hurtling into a short term parking spot at the airport, Joel barely waiting for the car to come to a stop when he jumped out. He ran to the check in counter that he’d always walked you to before and looked at the departures board. He didn’t see Syracuse. He ran up to a counter. 

“Hey!” A man protested. 

“Sorry, emergency,” Tommy waved the man off, catching up with Joel and clapping him on the shoulder. 

“Checking in?” The man behind the counter asked. 

“No,” Joel said quickly. “Flight to Syracuse, has that left yet?” 

“About an hour ago,” the man replied. 

“Shit,” Tommy swore. 

“When’s the next one?” Sarah asked. Joel looked at her. “What? It can’t hurt to ask…” 

“Tuesday morning,” the man replied. 

“Shit,” Joel swore. “How about… Buffalo?” 

“That’s in three hours,” the man said. “Only three seats left… cheapest one is $2176.” 

“Holy shit,” Tommy’s eyes went wide. “People really pay that to go to fuckin’ Buffalo?” 

“New York City?” Joel asked. “Or Boston?” 

“Look,” the man said. “At this point? You’re looking at two grand a ticket or waiting a few days to leave. Maybe both.”

“I could drive there faster than waiting until Tuesday morning,” Joel sighed. 

“So drive it,” Tommy shrugged. Joel just looked at him. “Can’t be more than, what, 20 or 30 hours? You can drive that.” 

“I can’t…” he began but Sarah cut him off. 

“It’s not like she’s across the planet, Dad,” she shrugged. “Just across the country. C’mon. Are you going to try to be happy or not?” 

He looked to his brother. 

“You OK to watch Sarah for… fuck, like a week?” He asked. 

“Some of us are actually flying and need to check in!” The man Joel cut in line snapped. 

He ignored him. 

“Sarah can move in if she wants,” Tommy smirked. “Go grovel and admit you fucked up. And see if she’ll record it, I want proof…” 

Joel barely stopped back at his house, grabbing a change of clothes and his phone charger before jumping in his truck as Sarah was still packing his bag. 

“Not going to fuck it up this time, right?” Tommy asked as he walked out the door. 

“Sure fucking hope not,” he muttered. 

He drove almost straight through, stopping just for gas and to use the bathroom. When he hit the rumble strips twice in five minutes just outside Cleveland, he pulled off at a rest stop and slept for three hours before getting back on the road again. He made it to your school an hour before students were released. 

“Joel?” You gaped at him, looking around like you were waiting on someone to let you in on the joke. You lowered your voice. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“You left before we could finish talking,” he shrugged. “Figured I’d come to you this time.” 

The woman you were with came up along side you. She looked vaguely familiar, like you’d shown him her picture once or twice. 

“Louisa I’m guessing?” He asked, extending his hand. “I’m Joel…” 

“Put that one together,” she didn’t take his hand. “You know, you wrecked my friend…” 

“Thank you for that, Louisa,” you cut her off. She fell silent. “I’ve got this.” 

She gave Joel a look before she went off to her own car. You looked back to him. 

“I don’t know that we have much more to discuss,” you said. “You didn’t need to come all this way, you can just text or call or email to let me know what you want to do….” 

“Need to talk about more than that,” he cut you off. “Let’s go somewhere.” 

“Right now?” You raised your eyebrows. 

“Didn’t drive clear across the country to wait around,” he shrugged.

“Fair enough,” you said, looking him over. “There’s a diner not far from here, pretty quiet this time of day. Follow me there?” 

He’d follow you anywhere. 

“Sure,” he said. 

Louisa was still standing outside her car when you passed her to go to your own and she stopped you, looking back at Joel with her eyes narrowed. You just shrugged at her and went to your car. Fuck, he’d really fucked up. 

He followed behind you a few miles down the road to a 50s style diner, one he’d passed when visiting you before but had never been inside. It was seat yourself and you led him to a table in a corner and he sat down but you just draped your jacket over the booth. 

“Just… two minutes,” you went to the bathroom and he watched you go. 

He felt like he should be thankful for a minute to get his shit together again before this conversation started but he wasn’t. He was just anxious to be close to you again. Fuck, how had it only been two days since he was dancing with you at Cass’ party? Hoping to figure something out that wouldn’t fuck your life up but would get you back? 

You came back to the table wiping your mouth and Joel took a second to just look at you. Fuck you were pretty. So goddamn pretty. It hit him harder every now and then, kind of out of the blue. He’d just be looking at you, enjoying you, and be reminded that - for some fucking reason - someone like you wanted him. Someone that fucking pretty, that fucking smart, that fucking kind wanted him. Didn’t make a damn bit of sense. 

It hit him like that now, your skirt gauzy and floating to your knees, the gentle curve of your throat, your lips tugging into a small smile when a little kid went running past you on their way to the bathroom, their mom in tow. 

Fuck, how had he managed to wreck shit with you? 

“Sorry,” you smiled apologetically as you took your seat across from him. You looked at him for a moment, frowning a little. “Did you drive straight through? You look… well, you look like shit.” 

“Just about,” he laughed a little. “Stopped for a bit outside Cleveland when I was pushin’ it too hard. Think I’m still hung over from when I woke up yesterday, actually…” 

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” your frown deepened, eyebrows drawing together. “Look…” 

“What can I get you?” The waitress looked like she was 19 and Joel had never been more annoyed by a teenager. 

“Decaf coffee please,” you handed her the menu. “And a water?”

“Just coffee,” Joel said, watching you. The girl left. “Not eating?” 

“Oh,” you laughed once. “Right… No, not here. Or anywhere, really, can’t hold down much of anything right now. Only thing I don’t immediately vomit back up are Clif bars. I think the guy at the camping store in town thinks I’m insane, I buy them by the dozen…” 

“Are you OK?” He frowned. He’d thought you’d looked a bit thinner and now he was sure of it, the hollow of your throat more prominent than he was used to seeing. 

“Fine,” you shrugged. “It sucks but it is what it is. Now that I’m getting into the second trimester it should get easier. If it doesn’t my doctor wants to talk about other things but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” 

Joel’s stomach twisted. He should have fucking been here, taking care of you. 

The waitress brought the coffees and the water.

“Anything else?” She asked. 

Joel had been starving a few minutes ago but not so much anymore. He handed her the menu. 

“Just this,” he said. “Thanks.” 

She rolled her eyes a bit but left. 

“So,” you put your arms on the table and cocked your head at him. “What did you drive almost 2,000 miles to talk about?” 

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “For all of it.” 

“For all of what?” You frowned. “For knocking me up? Because I was a pretty active participant in that…” 

“Sorry for just lettin’ you go on Saturday for starters,” he said. “Didn’t realize you’d gone for a bit and by then…” 

“It’s fine,” you leaned back in the booth, pulling your arms in close to yourself protectively. “I didn’t exactly expect you to come chase me down, I left for a reason.” 

“Why did you leave?” He asked. You raised your eyebrows. “It didn’t feel like we were done talkin’ and you just left…” 

“I just…” you closed your eyes for a moment. “Look, part of it is the hormones I think but I really just didn’t have it in me to sit there and listen to how much you regret this. I know it’s not ideal and that having a kid with me wasn’t what you wanted or planned but I tried to make it as easy as I can for you so you’re not stuck with me forever…” 

“That’s what you think my problem is?” He shook his head. 

“Joel, you left,” you laughed darkly. “That’s OK, I don’t hold it against you. We’re adults, most relationships don’t work out and I understand that…” 

“No, my problem is that I left so I didn’t keep fuckin’ your life up and before I did I managed to fuck it up more,” he said. 

You frowned, confused. 

“What do you mean you left so you wouldn’t fuck my life up?” You asked. “What are you talking about?” 

He took a deep, shaky breath. This was on the list of shit he’d never thought he’d tell you but circumstances had changed. 

“I couldn’t just sit there and watch you give shit up for me anymore,” he shook his head. “You were talkin’ about moving back to Austin because of me and…” 

“Because I wanted to be with you!” You gaped at him.

“And I’m not worth you givin’ up the chance at doin’ something extraordinary!” He was all but begging you to understand. “Baby, you are so goddamn smart and so goddamn dedicated, you shouldn’t live your life around where I am! I was doing nothin’ but holdin’ you back and I couldn’t let you settle…” 

“Settle?” You cut him off. “Why is doing what I want settling?” 

“Because I am not good enough for you,” he was getting more worked up than he should, he wasn’t mad at you and it was hard to remember that. “I’m not, I never went to fuckin’ college, I got stuck in the first job I could do, I am goin’ nowhere fast and that’s fine for me, alright? I got Sarah and she’s going to do something great, I can feel it, and that’s enough for me. But it’s not for you.” 

“So, what, I just don’t get a say in this?” You shook your head. “Joel, I don’t give a shit that you didn’t go to college or what you do for a living as long as you like doing it! You made me happy, I don’t care about the rest of it. You’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny and you’re so selfless it’s almost stupid and I fucking love you! You think that’s not worth moving some shit around for? Jesus, Joel…” 

“You can’t just give up on what you want to do,” he shook his head. “You can’t…” 

“Well that’s just how it’s worked out,” you shrugged and then sighed. “Look, maybe… Maybe I’ll get there eventually. Once they’re in school full time, maybe…” 

“Move in with me,” he said quickly. 

“Joel,” you laughed and shook your head. 

“I’m serious,” he said. “Look, it’ll… it’ll do exactly what I didn’t want it to do, it’ll limit where you can go to school but you’ll still go to school…” 

“I’m not going to move in with you, Joel,” you leaned into the table again. “Be serious.” 

“I am being serious,” he replied. “Move in with me. Go to school in Texas. Do what you want to do.” 

“I am not going to saddle you with me and a kid you don’t want…” 

“Why do you think I don’t want you?” He asked. “Wouldn’t want our kid?”

“Because you left!” You looked at him like he was insane. 

“That had nothing to do with not wantin’ you, Baby,” he said. “Nothing. I told you that. If I could have moved my life to wherever you were going to school then I never would have left, I just can’t do that. Not with work, not with Sarah…” 

“What would I do there?” You asked. “Do you think any district is going to hire me part way through the school year once it’s obvious I’m pregnant? I won’t have a job, I won’t have insurance…” 

“Be a substitute teacher until you need to stay home,” he said. “I’ll take care of you, we can get married, you can be on my insurance…” 

“I’m not marrying you for the insurance, Joel,” you shook your head. “Do you even hear yourself?” 

“Yes.” 

You sighed. 

“I can’t…” you closed your eyes for a moment. “I can’t… I can’t think straight right now. You’re not thinking straight right now, you haven’t slept in, what, two days?” 

“Something like that,” he said. “But my thinkin’ is fine.” 

“I need to think,” you shook your head. “I just… I need some space, OK? I have to figure this out.” 

He nodded slowly. That made sense. He didn’t want you to need space, he wanted to figure this out right that second, wanted to hold you and touch you and have you know that it was going to be OK because he was going to make it OK. But he was asking a lot of you. Space made sense. 

“I’ll try and get a room at the usual place,” he said, remembering the hotel he usually stayed at when he came to visit. Your grandmother disliked him enough, he didn’t really like trying to fuck you under her roof. Jesus, she was really going to hate him now. “But I’m not leavin’ until we get something figured out. Not goin’ anywhere.” 

He got a room and immediately passed out, making sure his phone would ring if you called before going face down into the pillows, not even bothering to get under the covers or take off his shoes. 

“Joel!” 

The sound of your voice jerked him out of the near coma he’d fallen into. He had no idea what time it was or where your voice was coming from. 

“Joel!” You called again. “Which room is yours?” 

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and scrambled for the door, yanking it open and jumping  into the walkway outside. Hours must have passed, it was dark outside. You were standing in the parking lot below. It had started raining and you looked soaked. 

“Up here!” He called, going to meet you. 

“No, stay put,” you called, going for the stairs. He met you there, anyway. You were breathless, hair and sweatshirt - the one he’d bought you when you’d graduated college - dripping wet. “Sorry, I probably should have called…” 

“Don’t need to call,” he put his arm around you and led you to his room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to get you to sit beside him but you ignored him, pacing instead. “What’s going on?” 

“Do you still have feelings for me?” You asked, fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweatshirt. 

“Thought that’d be pretty obvious given the cross country road trip,” he laughed once. “But yeah, Baby. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anything else aside from Sarah. And that’s close.” 

You nodded, still pacing. 

“And you wouldn’t…” You looked up at the ceiling, like you were searching for the words. “I don’t know, resent me? If I lived with you? If you ended up with a kid you don’t want?” 

“Oh, Baby,” he said softly. You were so uncertain it made his heart ache. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever met that I want to have kids with.” 

You stopped pacing and crossed your arms over your stomach. 

“Really?” You asked quietly. 

He got up and stood in front of you, your eyes glassy as you looked up at him. 

“Really,” he nodded. “The fact that you’re having my baby… that’s the opposite of a problem for me. I just can’t be the thing that fucked your life up, I love you too much for that…” 

You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him then, pressing your lips against him with a ferocity he wasn’t expecting. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you tightly against him, the cold rain dripping from your sweatshirt soaking into his skin. He didn’t care. He wanted you closer, needed to be as close to you as he could get. 

He pulled you back toward the bed and tugged your leg up on his hip as he sat down. You sank onto his lap, arms draped over his shoulders as his tongue pressed into your mouth, feeling you, tasting you. 

Joel tugged at your sweatshirt and you leaned back enough to pull it up and over your head and you did the same with his t-shirt. He looked down at you as he unclasped your bra. Your jeans were held closed with a hair tie. He frowned. 

“Oh,” you laughed a little. “Yeah, I… I kind of forgot about that. Like none of my pants fit as of a few days ago…” 

He slipped your bra from you, your flesh pebbled from the cold, and ran his hand down your body, his palm flat against you, until he reached the swell between your hips. He carefully opened your pants, casting the hair tie aside, and cupped the small bump at the base of your stomach. 

“So that’s our baby, huh?” He said softly, reverently. You pressed a kiss into the top of his head. 

“Yeah,” your voice was a little thick. “We made that.” 

He looked at you there for another moment, trying to wrap his mind around it. His baby, inside you. Something the two of you did together, even if you hadn’t meant to. 

He kissed you again, holding you close to him, your skin on his own. He wrapped his arms around you so he could pick you up and he lay you on the bed, pulling your wet jeans and underwear down your body, casting them aside on the floor, before pulling his own off, too.

Joel opened your thighs, looking down at your slick sex, running a thumb over you, making you shudder. He lay between your legs, kissing down from your belly button, pressing his lips against the place where his child was inside you, continuing down until his mouth was on your clit, making you gasp. 

He gently sucked the swollen nub, teasing it lightly with his tongue. You moaned, your fingers twisting in the sheets. He looked up your body, your head thrown back in pleasure, and smiled against you before moving lower, slipping his tongue inside your entrance. You ground your hips against him then, his nose working against your clit. 

“Sorry,” you stilled, your hips tensing. “I just…” 

“Don’t you dare apologize for taking what you want,” he said, pulled back just far enough from you that he could talk. “Want you to cum for me, want to give you whatever you need to cum for me.” 

He pressed his tongue into you again, his nose working your clit as he opened you. He added a finger below his tongue, spreading you open as your body got tighter and tighter around him, You started rocking your hips against his face again and he moaned at it, at how needy he made you. He slipped his free hand below you to tug you tighter to his mouth, thrusting his tongue deeper and you gasped as you came around him. He worked you through your orgasm before he slipped his finger from you and kissed back up your slit, settling between your thighs. He took the hand that had been inside you and stroked himself with it, spreading the precum over his tip, mixing with your wetness, making him slick. He notched the head of himself against you and trailed his fingers gently through your hair as he looked down at you as you panted for breath. Your eyes were wide, pupils blown. 

“Marry me,” he said, his voice needy. 

“Joel,” you whimpered. 

He kissed you and started sinking into your wet heat, so tight and velvety soft. You rocked your hips against him, pulling him deeper until he was fully within you. He pulled his lips far enough back from you that he could speak, his nose trailing over your cheek. 

“Marry me,” he said again. 

“You don’t mean that,” you were panting below him. “You’re… you’re just…” 

“Should’ve asked you years ago,” he pressed his forehead to yours, his cock buried deep inside you. “Marry me. I love you, want to spend my life with you, want you to be my wife. Marry me, Baby…” 

“OK,” you looked in his eyes. “I’ll marry you.” 

He kissed you again, starting to move inside you, your walls tight around him, like you were trying to hold him as close to you as you could. You wrapped yourself around him and clung to him, his arms sliding beneath you to cradle you tightly against him, the whole of you against and around him as you came, your pussy throbbing around his cock until he fell apart, too. 

He collapsed and rolled onto his side, still holding you close, still deep inside you. 

“We’ll figure it out, Baby,” he said softly. “We’re doing this together.” 

“You’re sure?” You asked, eyes searching his own.

“I’m sure, Mrs. Miller,” he smiled a little. “I’m damn sure.” 

[caitlynmeow]

Do you have some gaga grandma Alcina headcanons ?

I do!! Let me preface this by saying that Alcina loves her grandbabies to death. Now unto more details:

Alcina has a special bond with all of her granddaughters. She holds them soon after they are born and that moment is always very magical.

She steels herself and acts all tough while Cassandra is giving birth, but the moment she holds the newlyborn baby she can’t help crying at the tiny bundle in her arms. Like she cries cries, not just a tear or two.

After giving birth, Cassandra stays at the castle for a few weeks because Alcina insists that she rests properly and gets a lot of help with the newborn. However, Alcina uses this time to spend time with the new baby. Those first few weeks are just Alcina spending unlimited time with her granddaughter(s).

When the girls got older, they normally spend weekends with her. Cass and Wife would bring them over on Friday after school and they’d stay with Alcina until Sunday because this is their alone time with Grandma.

Alcina loves spending time with her granddaughters. Especially Aurelia since she’s the first granddaughter and Alcina did bond with her because Cass was very clueless so it was mostly Alcina bonding with Aurelia while Cassandra watched from the sidelines.

Even when the girls got older, when Cassandra is dropping by to see her mom Alcina asks ‘where are the girls?’ Because she always wants to have her granddaughters around. So what do you mean Cassandra is there by herself?

Alcina loves spending time with them. She takes them out for brunch, to get their nails done, and later on they accompany her to fashion shows and the like.

She would travel with the kiddos but she knows they might want their mothers so she doesn’t do that while the girls are young.

It’s always Aurelia and Adelina because they are so close in age and also because Adelina wouldn’t accept it and she’d go either way.

Alcina wasn’t going to do the same with the third daughter. After Adelina, she was tired and didn’t think she could keep up with another little one.

Meeting Alcina (junior) changed that because she instantly fell in love with her youngest granddaughter (also because she has her name).

While Aurelia and Adelina were in school, Alcina had plenty of time to spend with baby Alcina while Cassandra recovered at the castle.

Not one to usually get back on her word, but Alcina couldn’t stop falling in love with her youngest granddaughter.

Alcina reminded her of Daniela. Being the youngest, she competed with her older siblings and tried to prove she was just as capable. The result is a very charming personality and a very smart child that everyone fell in love with.

Alcina is always accompanying her sisters when they visit their grandma and she always insists on being the one who sleeps right next to grandma (Aurelia’s spot) the two of them would fight because Alcina is hella stubborn and Aurelia is not going to give up her spot so Alcina (senior) compromised by taking the middle and having Aurelia and Alcina sleeping on each side.

Cassandra is aware of her youngest’s position and how she sometimes just needs her Grandma's undivided attention and alone time. That's why she habitually drops Alcina off at the castle for some special one-on-one time between Alcina and Alcina while the older two are busy with their after-school activities.

Overall, Alcina adores the heck out of her granddaughters. While she was quite the pushover mother to her daughters, she only got worse with the newest addition to her family.

Alcina no longer says she’s a mom of three girls, it’s six now and her granddaughters mean the world to her.

Alcina is invited to all events and graduations because she loves her babies and both Cassandra and the kiddos always want her there during those moments. And as Alcina never failed to show up for anything regarding her daughters, she’s keeping it up with her granddaughters. She is there during the good times and the bad.

If Cassandra and wife want to travel alone, it goes without saying that the children are sent to the castle. They each have their own room with all of their things there but they don’t even sleep there because it’s time to sleep in grandma’s room.

Granddaughters call her Mama Alci all the time.

[blueeyedheizer]

Cassie x reader w/ reader saying no 4, after catching Cassie doing her unhinged morning routine? (thank you!)

4 - "I love your body. Everything you hate about it is what drives me crazy."

sorry the ending sucks, my brain is empty rn 🏃🏻‍♀️

You push the bathroom door open, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes before stopping dead in your tracks.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Cassie is standing in front of the mirror, her hair wrapped around a curling ribbon and patches under her eyes, a dozen different make up tools and products scattered on the counter before her.

She jumps at the sound of your voice, her head snapping in your direction. Mouth slightly agape, her face mirroring your surprised expression.

"I-I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" she stammers.

"No. Are you on drugs?"

"What?!" she exclaims, her tone of voice now sounding hurt. "Why would you say that?"

"Cassie, do you have any idea what time it is? Care to explain why you're doing a full morning routine in the middle of the night?"

Cassie simply shrugs it off and attempts to grab another tool, but you're quick to grab a hold of her wrist before she can reach it, turning her around in the process.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just come back to bed, you can do this in the morning." Cassie finds herself tearing up a little when you cross your arms in annoyance, her voice wavering as she responds;

"Just give me five more minutes. I'm almost done."

That's when you sense that something is wrong. You remain silent for a moment, trying to figure her out. Then you approach her slowly, cautiously reaching a hand out to cup her face, thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks as your features soften.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what, Cass?"

"Like... this." she waves a hand in front of her face, still avoiding your gaze. Because of that, the room falls silent once more. Then you take a breath as if to say something, but Cassie speaks out before you can.

"You're always complimenting Maddy. Her make up, the texture of her skin, the way she dresses." you frown in confusion, your eyes kind and concerned as you wait for her to continue. "And you're right. She's pretty, smart, confident, and I'm just... me." she murmurs the last part. "She’s so much better than me so I thought I should-“

"Cassie." you cut her off and move behind her, pulling her into your chest so that you're both facing the mirror.

"I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world." you say. Cassie laughs humorlessly, staring down at her hands which are trying to hide her body. "I'm serious." you insist. "Maddy is pretty, that's true. But she's not the girl i'm in love with." you slide your hands along her shoulder, slipping her bathrobe down so that you can you bring your lips to the crook of her neck and trace soft kisses all the way to her shoulder. "I’m not interested in her or any other girl. The only girl I’m interested in is the one in my arms right now."

Cassie looks up to glance at her reflection in the mirror, and you can tell by the way she quickly looks down that she's judging herself. As if reading her mind, you bring her hands down to her side and address her concerns.

"I love your body. Everything you hate about it is what drives me crazy." your lips continue their path, slowly making their way back and forth along her neck and shoulder. "The curves of your hips. The birth mark on your thigh. You're beautiful just the way you are."

Cassie turns around in your arms after a few seconds of silence to just bask in your words, her eyes filling with tears as she cups your face and rests her forehead against yours.

"I love you."

You press a gentle kiss to her lips, keeping her close as you whisper; "I love you too."

[lolhex12]

i'm probably extremely late to the party but i just realized how deep Andrew's sacrifice and Aaron's betrayal go when it come to the Twinyard's dynamic like??

Andrew, after having spent years alone in the foster system and suffering through the trauma that comes with it, he finally found Cass, a woman who genuinely cared about him and wanted to be his mother - someone he was willing to sell his soul (and body) to the devil for and endure the abuse Drake put him through bc that was just the price he had to pay for Cass' love, care and kindness. all bc he dared being selfish and wanting something for himself for once. he loved her and wanted her love back so bad to the point he would cut himself to cope with being in that house when Cass wasn't looking.

after accepting this new reality of his and resigning himself to the pain (psychological, emotional, physical and self-inflicted), he found out he had a twin brother who looks EXACTLY like him yet got to live a (to his knowledge) stable loving life with their birth mother. that Andrew got thrown away while his carbon copy had everything.

he hated the revelation so he put it out of his mind, went back to Cass' where Drake found out abt Aaron and ran his mouth abt having both twins for himself and... it's not like Andrew hated nor loved or felt any kind of attachment to his brother (who was still basically a stranger to him), and yet he knew, bone-deep, that 1) no one deserved to go through what Andrew had (especially someone 'untouched' (so to speak) who looked like him; as in, the picture in Andrew's mind resembled a young, still innocent, 7y/o Andrew who had not yet fully grasped or learned how to deal with just how cruel the world could be when thinking abt Aaron in the same position), and 2) he didn't want to give Drake the satisfaction.

so, Andrew, after having endured however long Drake's abuse in Cass' household and cutting himself to cope with it, all for the right to stay with her, he gave it all up when he received Aaron's letter asking to meet and rejecting the offer with a 'fuck off' bc he could not risk Aaron getting too close and going through anything remotely similar. he didn't owe his brother anything, nor had they made a deal by that point, yet Andrew, despite not really knowing Aaron, could not risk getting him into his own shit. and so, all those years of pain and sacrifice Andrew had to endure went down the drain bc he wanted to protect a stranger wearing his face, out of his own volition.

Andrew then did sth that landed him in juvie and thought everyone's safe now bc Drake can't get to Aaron anymore, until Aaron visited Andrew in juvie and Andrew noticed the bruises on Aaron's arms and Andrew realized Aaron might not be as safe as he'd thought after all.

ALL that pain and sacrifice thrown away to protect his twin and the fucker still wasn't safe?? mother dearest count your days.

so he got out of juvie early on good behavior (which was a bitch to manage but what was he to do when he had to leave to protect his brother?) and adopted into the Minyard household to see who was hurting his stranger of a brother, for whom Andrew has already given so much up?

Aaron, as we know, agreed to Andrew's deal, not expecting his brother to commit matricide bc of it. a deal which to Andrew seemed simple enough: 'l'll protect you and help you get into med school and become a doctor and all you have to do is stick together with me' (aka not let anyone (women in particular) get between us).

so, after all that sacrifice, after sacrifice, after putting his life on the line by participating in Tilda's car accident, getting his brother clean, curating his friend group to a drug-free environment (later also putting his own reputation with the team on the line by violently getting matt clean for the same reason), getting him a scholarship to get into med school and become a doctor (as agreed), THIS FUCKER could not even hold up his own end of the deal while Andrew literally checked every box and then some for his idiot ungrateful brother.

meanwhile it took Aaron seeing Andrew get sa'd, killing his abuser, and years of joint therapy to begin to comprehend just how much Andrew endured, sacrificed, risked and overall did for him without Aaron even realizing. bc Andrew doesn't do what he does for recognition or gratitude, he does it bc that's what's been agreed to.

---

this is not meant to diss Aaron's character but simply put the entire situation into perspective from Andrew's POV. like, no offence to Aaron but Andrew legit bent over backwards for him and Aaron's response was just "ure a psycho, i choose Katelyn" (or at least that's how Andrew viewed it)

all that being said, Andrew definitely could've communicated the situation and his intentions better, or at least explain how much those deals really meant to him, but unfortunately he wasn't quite there yet (if ever) <- in other words: it wasn't Aaron's nor Andrew's fault. shit's just shit sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[goldenraeofsun]

A Case for Defenestration

Also on AO3!

At noon, Dick moves the glass of orange juice to the crook of his elbow and uses his free hand to knock on Damian’s door. In his other hand, he carries a plate with an egg salad sandwich. “Hey, can I come in?”

Bedsheets rustle and Damian’s bed creaks, but Damian says nothing. 

Dick squares his shoulders. He isn’t the best big brother in the world because he gives up easily. “It’s me,” he tries again. “Can I come in?”

A noise comes from the other side of the door, and Dick freezes. Did Damian just… blow a raspberry?

Maybe the lawnmower backfired. It is the first nice Spring day in a few months, so Alfred headed outside an hour ago to tend the back garden and trim the lawn.

“Enter, if you must, Grayson.”

Dick winces at the use of his last name. He gamely pushes Damian’s door open anyway. Hopefully, the kid’s just cranky from his injuries and being stuck in his room all morning. “Hey,” he says, pitching his voice low. “How’re you feeling?”

Damian scowls and doesn’t meet his eyes, his face reddening. Despite the warm weather and wide open, Damian has the sheets pulled up to his chest. “I am fine,” he says stiffly, “as you can see. You may go now.”

Dick sets down the plate and glass on Damian’s nightstand.

“You took quite a beating last night,” Dick says gently. “Of course, you gave as good as you got,” and Damian must really be out of it, since the compliment barely registers with him. Dick forces his smile to widen. “And on your thirteenth birthday of all days too.”

“Tt. I still do not see the point of commemorating the day of one’s birth when there are so many more momentous occasions to celebrate. The mastery of a new technique, for example or…” he drifts off, his voice going deadly quiet, “spilling of first blood.”

Dick stares. Damian sounds… off, even for him. More stilted. Formal. He’s retreating, and Dick cannot let that happen. Not after all the progress they’ve made. “Hey, Dami,” he says, consciously trying not to talk down to Damian because he hates that. “Is everything OK? Really? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“I – I – ” Damian stutters, hunching down further into the bed.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Dick says, fighting to keep his concern from showing too much because it makes Damian defensive. “You know that, right?”

Damian’s face screws up as his fingers twist in his sheets. “He was special,” he says, his breath hitching to Dick’s utter horror; Damian never lets himself get this visibly emotional, “and I defenestrated him.”

“Hey, hey,” Dick says, and there goes his commitment to holding himself back. He reaches out to grasp Damian’s good shoulder. Damian shudders under his touch, and Dick’s heart breaks. But if Damian killed someone, Dick needs to tell Bruce the whole story. “Did you,” he swallows and restarts, “Did you throw someone out of a window last night?” 

Dick didn’t have eyes on Damian throughout the whole fight; Arkham breakouts mean the Bats are spread thin, and it was all hands on deck. They started out the night in teams. Bruce, Damian, Dick, and Cass took on the Joker. Tim and Steph got the Riddler. Duke and Jason went after Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. 

By the time they trooped back to the Manor, they had switched targets several times over, when Jason got a face full of Harley’s baseball bat, when Bruce fractured two bones in his right leg in a bear trap, and, of course, when the Joker shot Damian in the shoulder and dislocated his left hip.

Damian blinks rapidly. “I did the deed this morning.”

Dick blinks in surprise as Damian looks away.

Because that makes no sense. Damian’s been bedridden since they came in from patrol last night. 

Unless… an intruder snuck into the Manor and ambushed Damian in his room? Damian is good, but the kid was wiped after running around until four am in his condition. 

But that also doesn’t make sense because someone would have heard. Jason and Tim even had an argument outside Damian’s room at half past ten, and Alfred had to chivvy them away to keep them from waking Damian up.

“Okay,” Dick says, “I think I’m missing something here. What exactly happened, Dames? From the beginning, if you can.”

Damian inhales a sharp breath. “He flew into my room, no doubt scared off from Pennyworth’s actions in the garden,” he says in a rush. “And I tried to provide an attractive, safe haven,” he gestures to his ocean blue bedsheet, “as I know beetles prefer bright colors –”

By sheer force of will, Dick does not facepalm.

Damian was all riled up about a beetle.

Dick bites his tongue as Damian narrates the whole saga: of the beetle settling on the blanket, Damian getting startled by a noise outside his room, Damian twisting under the blanket to hear better, and the beetle getting launched out of the window as a result.

“Damian,” Dick says as he stares at Damian’s huge green eyes, slightly more shiny than usual, “beetles can fly. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“You do not know that, Grayson!”

Dick does not snort, but it is a close goddamn call.

“Just because he wasn’t very big does not make him any less important,” Damian insists nonsensically.

“Of course not,” Dick soothes. “Hey,” he leans in, “I think you need a hug.”

“I do not –” Damian squawks, but too late.

Dick’s arms wrap around his ridiculous littlest brother, squeezing tightly, careful of Damian’s injured shoulder. “I can’t stop you worrying, but you do know that beetles belong outside, right? He wouldn’t have been happy cooped up in here.”

Damian nods. “I suppose you are right,” he huffs against Dick’s cheek.

Dick freezes as he inhales a pungent, smokey scent he’s never associated with Damian. “What the...?” He glances over his shoulder, like he might find Jason hovering outside the window, splashing the good scotch on the gardenias just to piss Bruce off.

“Richard?”

“Have you been drinking?” Dick pulls back to stare at Damian, noting the flush to his cheeks that Dick initially attributed to the warm weather and the way Damian’s eyes don’t quite focus on him, which Dick had written off first from pain, and then from embarrassment. But no, Damian was just showing classic signs of alcohol consumption.

Damian fiddles with the edge of his blanket. He nods once.

“Oh my god,” Dick groans. “What the hell, Damian? Why – how? ”

Damian scowls. “It was not my idea.”

“Fine,” Dick says as he grabs the sandwich and forces it into Damian’s hands. Damian needs to fill his stomach with something other than alcohol, stat. “Then whose idea was it?”

“Todd,” Damian says, entirely unsurprisingly. “No, I misspoke. It was Drake.”

“What.”

Damian wrinkles his nose in distaste. “Drake apologized for not celebrating my birthday properly. He said he first sampled alcohol on his thirteenth birthday, when he became a man, and he wanted to carry on the tradition, so to speak.”

Dick’s jaw drops open. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Exactly how much did he give you?” 

Damian lifts his chin in the air. “The same amount that Father occasionally imbibes.”

Dick runs a hand down his face. “Great,” he mutters. Bruce usually sticks to doubles, but after a rough patrol he’ll pour himself a triple. Damian doesn’t seem like he’s on the verge of alcohol poisoning, just good and tipsy, based on his emotional reaction to a beetle, so hopefully Damian only had two shots’ worth.

“And then, about ten minutes later, Todd visited me.”

Ah, damn.

“So it was Tim and Jason?”

“I just said that,” Damian says disdainfully. “Richard, keep up.”

“Right, right.” Dick nods along. “And what did Jason do? Never mind, I know exactly what he did.” He points to the sandwich. “Eat. Now.”

Damian obediently takes a bite.

“What I want to know,” Dick continues, “is why he gave alcohol to a thirteen-year-old.”

Damian swallows. “He said it was a reward for facing the Joker by myself during the fight.” He pauses, contemplating his sandwich. “He gave me slightly more alcohol than Drake.”

“Of course he did,” Dick despairs. He runs a hand through his hair, planning his next steps. Bruce can’t know about this. He would hit the ceiling if he heard Tim and Jason plied his youngest with enough booze to make Damian tear up over an insect. Dick is so going to have words with them. And then a drink or two for himself.

Damian picks up his sandwich. “I understand your concern. However, it is unfounded. No doubt due to my superior genetics,” he announces with a proud little smile, “I am capable of holding my liquor.”

“Mm hm,” Dick hums as he violently tries to keep it together without dying of laughter. He inhales a deep breath and lets it out before saying, “I’m just glad to see you’re OK, Dami.”

“Of course I am,” Damian sniffs.

Dick grins and squeezes his shoulder again. “Eat up. You’ll thank me later.”

[thedeviltohisangel]

New John thought: he names his plane(s) in Korea after Cass. Your choice is if it’s The Cassandra, Cooper or Spook or any other great idea you’ve got.

OBSESSED WITH THIS.

Because John in Korea does not have to hide how absolutely gone for Cass he is. His wife. The mother of his three kids with a fourth on the way.

And he leaves for Korea not knowing if she will be able to follow him or not. Thinking he might miss the birth of his child. Miss one of Lillian's doctor's appointments. The twins first school play.

So he can be forgiven if he is feeling a little extra sentimental. If the first order he gives when hitting the ground is to cover up the pinup and the tongue in cheek name already on the plane he's been assigned.

He names it Spook and has them draw four little bats around it for all his babies. (two small hearts for Butter and Cheese included)

And he keeps his pocket watch with a family photo on him at all times. A worn photo, from all the times he stroked his thumb over it, of Cass resting on the instrument dials every time he flies.

Kisses the tips of his fingers and presses them to her gently. Promising he'll come home to her. In this life or another. Promises he'll always keep her and their family safe. That that is the reason he is even here in the first place.

And then, when on that very air strip in the middle of Japan, he is about to climb right back up into Spook (don't even mention how many times that makes him laugh) and hears a very distinct, very lovely voice?

"Hey, Flyboy."