#Rhys did put guards around the

[thecatsaesthetics]

Ianthe and Tamlin are the reason Elain and Nesta were turned into fae. If people claim Feyre is the reason they should go back and reread, because Ianthe already planned to use her sisters against her from the second she appeared on page.

Ianthe and Tamlin both wanted to control Feyre’s behavior and Ianthe choose to use the people Feyre loved the most.

This fandom really loves to ignore what Tamlin and Ianthe did at the end of ACOMAF and how badly they both betrayed Feyre’s trust.

[thelov3lybookworm]

As a slut for angst today “tolerate it” has been stuck on a loop and now I am imaging an angsty fic where Az just slowly begins to forget about reader and she threatens to leave but he doesn’t take her seriously and is so utterly destroyed when he comes back home and she’s gone…

Like I feel like it’s on brand with him and his duty to his job and whatnot. Plus the lyrics are so him coded “while you were out building worlds where was I” / “took this dagger in me and removed it” LIKE HELLO???

(But I also love a good happy ending so I feel like if azzy groveled hard enough… 👀)

Tolerate it.

Summary: She is fed up.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: ehehehehehe angsttttt yummy yummyyyy

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n laughed at Feyre's pathetic attempts at skipping the large puddle on the ground accumulated due to the rains that had Velaris freezing overnight.

Feyre failed miserably, her boots and leggings getting wet from the splash that signalled her downfall against the watery enemy of hers. But Feyre was not fazed. She simply laughed alongside Y/n, her eyes crinkling as the two of them made their way back to the river house.

It was visible already now, Y/n could even make out the grains in the wood of the door as it opened, and her brother in laws, along with her mate, spilled out.

Y/n could see from the corner of her eyes as her sister lit up at seeing her mate, her husband and the father of her child. The moment his eyes met her, she took off, her arms spread as she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. Rhysand did not hold back either, clutching Feyre to her chest with as much enthusiasm as she held him.

It made Y/n smile.

Y/n then glanced behind the embracing couple to her mate, the overwhelming urge to hug him too and to claim him in front of anyone watching making her start walking towards him without even realising.

Which was reckless, as the moment he realised she was walking towards him to hug him? He took a step back.

Y/n knew that he hated being affectionate in front of others, but this was cruel.

So to not get embarrassed by his rejection, Y/n turned swiftly towards Cassian, her other brother in law, who stood not too far from where Azriel did, and hugged him instead.

Cassian, Mother bless his heart, did not even question it.

He wrapped his arms around Y/n and literally lifted her off the ground, cackling when Y/n's fist made contact with his shoulder over and over again as she demanded to be put down.

Y/n had to stop herself from thinking back to that day. She did not want to relive the pain she had felt, the sadness and anger.

Y/n watched his eyes fluttering, wondering if he was dreaming. Wondering who he was dreaming about.

It definitely was not her, that was for sure.

Y/n, feeing a little sadness taking root in her heart, returned to the portrait in her hands, questioning if it would even be worth it finishing it up when he sure as hell wouldn't even acknowledge it. Or her.

Y/n glanced at the paint supplies she had placed on the coffee table next to her, having wanted to capture a moment of him letting his guard down, of him being vulnerable using her best paints, knowing he would not care.

She guessed living for as long as he had, life and the small things didn't matter as much anymore. Maybe that was why he loved to go on the missions Rhysand, Y/n's brother in law, gave him.

It probably gave him the thrill nothing else did anymore.

With Y/n's sister just having given birth to the starlight of the court, Rhys had become more and more protective, sending his brothers and anyone and everyone at his disposal to check and report about every trivial thing that made his primal mate and father side get protective.

Slowly, Y/n reached for the brush that rested in the cup half filled with coloured water, deciding to finish the half done portrait. If he did not care... she did not now what she would do then, but she did know she was tired of being tolerated by him.

But what could she even do? It was not like she could just up and leave.

Y/n blinked.

Or... could she?

Y/n shook her head, as if to dislodge the though, and with a sigh, she let herself get lost in the soft skill of painting her sister had taught her long ago, when staying up and huddling under worn blankets was the only thing bringing any warmth.

Trying not to think about the fact that the last time she remembered him caring for her, genuinely caring for her, was only when the two had been in their early stages of relation ship and the mating bond was a very new experience to a newly made fae Y/n, she continued using the soft and strong, long and short strokes to finish up her latest masterpiece.

Of course, Y/n never would call herself a creator of masterpieces, but any and all art that included her perfect mate was destined to be a masterpiece.

Time lost its meaning, and all that mattered was capturing the perfect angle for his eyes, nose, lips, shoulder.

Nothing existed but Y/n, her art, and her muse.

Nothing existed but the soft rise and fall of his back as he lay sprawled on his stomach, the effortless way his wings draped across the whole bed, taking up space three wingless fae could have slept in.

Where Y/n would have slept in, on days when everything had been filled with stars and dreams, wrapped under his warm wing like it were a living blanket.

When he pretended he was nothing, absolutely nothing but her mate. Her husband. Not a spymaster, not a shadowsinger, not a brother. Just her mate, her lover.

Those days were far gone now.

•○🌑○•

Despite the fact that she knew he would most definitely not care, Y/n was excited.

And that was downplaying what she felt.

The wait was killing her, the amount of adrenaline in her bloodstream making her want to jump around to get rid of the energy that made her shiver, her limbs going cold and warm at the same time. She had to push her fists together and shove them between her thighs to keep them from shaking, which did not help at all.

So Y/n waited, her body clenched in anticipation as she stared at the doorway that led into the living room, a big grin on her face.

She glanced once at the sketchpad in front of her on the table, admiring her artwork for a moment.

She never liked whatever she made, always feeling like it lacked something. So for her to be excited to show off her art to her mate was a huge indication to how much she loved the portrait.

The familiar scuff of worn boots drew Y/n's attention, and she shot to her feet, pressing her fists to the back of her thighs.

It had become a habit of Azriel's, to purposefully make some noise before he stepped in view so as not to startle her with his appearance.

The action melted Y/n's heart every single time.

He stepped into view, as ethereal as the day Y/n had first seen him as a human, just as beautiful as he had looked that day as he tried to get comfortable on the small chair in the manor on the other side of the wall, just as loveable as that day when she had ended up losing her heart to the low born fae that should have intimated her.

He was fumbling with his armor, making sure it was all secured properly before he left for whatever mission Rhys assigned him for that day.

He glanced up just as he walked past Y/n to the kitchen counter, a small smile gracing his face before his attention was again diverted.

Y/n tried not to deflate at his lack of enthusiasm.

"Good morning love. Look-"

"Good morning Y/n." He cut her off, his voice void of emotions, as if he was tired of saying the same thing every morning and wanted to get it over with. He didn't even glance at Y/n as he said it, and Y/n pretended not to notice that he used her name instead of whatever endearing name he would have picked before.

"I will be on a scouting trip to Illyria, and after I have a meeting and dinner scheduled with Rhys and Cass, so I will be late coming home. Don't wait up."

Y/n's smile faded. "Don't wait up or stay out of my way?"

Azriel froze. "What?"

Y/n released a humourless laugh. "Nothing. Go have fun."

Azriel turned, giving her a hard look. "You know I would rather stay at home with you."

Doubtful.

Y/n so badly wanted to say it to his face, but she did not want to fight with him so early in the morning, so she sighed, smiled and nodded.

He started walking towards the door, and despite her anger, Y/n walked forward to kiss his cheek.

She did not miss how he recoiled.

Y/n masked the hurt before he could see it, and he gave her an awkward smile before he maneuvered to walk around her, careful not to brush against her.

Y/n watched him walk away, staring hard at the door even long after he'd left.

She then glanced at the portrait she had abandoned on the table, and, her heart hardening, turned away.

She was tired of having her love be tolerated, and she would not have it be that way anymore.

Either he accept her love the way it was, loud and clear, or he go find someone else.

And so, she turned, walked up the stairs to the bedchambers she shared with Azriel, and began to turn it back into just his bedchambers.

She would no longer be tolerated only because some godly entity thought she and him would make great, powerful kids and tied them together with a string.

She deserved to be cherished.

•○🌑○•

Part 2

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

[shun-ie]

₍⁠₍⁠ ⁠◝ the past, the present, and the future (rhys larsen)

content : longest fanfic yet, rhys larsen, differentpath!au, amab!reader, slowburn, sexual awakening?, strangers to acquaintances to friends to lovers, mentions of trauma/ptsd, healing the inner child, ooc-ish rhys, unprotected sex, slight mention of fingering, bttm!malereader, ceo!reader, mentions of kinks, lmk if i missed anything :))

shun-note : rhys larsen is not my oc. he belongs to ana huang, the author of twisted games. i also noticed that there weren't a lot of twisted series fics (or there's none at all), so i made one. missing some details, but i wanted to post this already so it doesn't rot in my drafts lol

[not proofread]

m.list !

cold hearted. that's what rhys larsen first thought of y/n l/n, the ceo of l/n conglomerate. after being the bodyguard for bridget von ascheberg, the crown princess of eldorra, he took up another commission to drown away the ache that was left when he parted from the woman he spent his two years protecting.

y/n l/n was vastly different from any of those rhys had guarded in the past.

y/n put his work first. sleep? he'd sign and read through papers until he collapsed and died. eat? he'd starve just to entertain the board of his company. he did however, keep a strict hygiene and exercise routine. in those two months with y/n, he never once saw the frown leave his lips. it was like it was permanently scarred on his face. the total opposite of bridget.

rhys was offered the job just after he freshly resigned from his post. he was reluctant to accept the commission, but accepted once he found out it was a man he would be guarding this time. he did all the background checks, read y/n's information, did security protocols, just like any other clients he had previously.

and as he trailed behind the ceo, who parted the crowd of paparazzi and 'fans' like the red sea, he was brought back to the moment when he first met the indifferent man in front of him.

"this is sir y/n l/n. lately, he's being harassed by paparazzi. he has been followed home seven times in the past month . . . ambush interviews . . . and he can't eat in restaurants anymore," the secretary listed as she spoke to rhys via request of y/n's father who took care of affairs in china. "he normally does things alone without bodyguards, but this time people have gone too far," she further explains, pushing an open folder with photos taken by the paparazzi.

they consisted of y/n sitting in a booth at a restaurant, entering sister company buildings, walking through the park, and even leaving his car as he approached his house. it was never this bad with bridget.

as he examined the photos, alongside the blueprints of y/n's house and the company headquarters he requested beforehand, the secretary says something that catches his attention.

"sir l/n doesn't talk much. so don't feel hurt if he gives you the cold shoulder when you guys meet," hurt? hilarious. i don't even know him well enough to be hurt. "-he most likely will ignore you." arrogant? stuck up?

it was then when he met y/n l/n that there was something else. from the way the ceo's eyebrows furrowed, stress shadowing his tense but elegant form, as he scanned the papers in his hand, a cup of something in his other.

"miss clarke, i have another meeting with missus barett on wednesday at seven pm. add that to my schedule. and move my call with mister harris around nine pm after the meeting." he then stopped in his tracks, taking notice of the other presence in the room. he blinks, eyeing the large man sitting in front of his secretary. long hair, broad muscular frame, gunmetal eyes, and a scar slashing through his left eyebrow. he wore all black. "you must be the bodyguard my father hired. rhys larsen, correct me if i am wrong."

y/n's voice was full on business, leaving no trace of any other emotions other than serious and commanding. words rolled out of his mouth like smooth silk and his earlier strides could rival fairies that pranced around gracefully as they took flight.

"yes and if i may, i'll be looking around the building for any security measures," rhys got straight to the point. there was no point dancing around the issue. no point in introductions, they knew each other well enough. it was obvious. his indifference masked the slight curiosity that sparked as he watched y/n disappear into his office, where he caught a glimpse of neatly stacked paperwork and the large window that overlooked the city from above.

even as he drove away from the airport, he knew nothing about the man he's protecting. unlike bridget who he had arguments and decent conversations with, y/n only gave him one or two word responses before silence loomed over them like a cloud everyday for the two months they were together. the basic information about the ceo was nothing compared to the behavior, habits, likes, and dislikes of the crown princess.

he took casual glances from his rear view mirror, observing as y/n scrolled through his hundreds of emails, noting down important information on his pocket journal.

rhys has never seen y/n stop working.

"you're ruining yourself." it was just a thought, he never intended for it to slip. he curses in his mind.

y/n hums, never looking up from what he was doing. "why is that?" he knew exactly why, but he chose to ignore it. he wore himself down most of the time, all the time. he never intended to stop, but the words rang clearly in his mind. you're ruining yourself.

"it just looks like you're burning both ends of a candle, trying to manage yourself and work," rhys focused on the road, "but you can't."

y/n has never disobeyed his instructions which he was thankful for as it made everything easier. he never really did go out as much as bridget did. even then, scheduled events and meetings were always smooth as rhys had planned it to be.

y/n wasn't as hard headed, outgoing, and filled with fire. not like bridget. rhys didn't even know why he was comparing two polar opposites. but being with him, he thought of the crown princess in eldorra who offered him extension of his contract, which he refused. and now he's here.

"i work . . . because it distracts me from my reality."

y/n has never talked about why he does what he does. it felt right in the moment. rhys has never pried answers out of him, partially because he didn't converse with him, however his eyes told him so. those stormy grey eyes that showed nothing but genuine curiosity even though he tried to hide it.

rhys didn't know what to think as they reached the end of the highway. two months and y/n finally spoke a full sentence. rapport was a card he had set to the side because of their circumstances, now he might as well consider putting it back on the table. he saw y/n put his work down, temporarily ceasing his work which were probably with a month or two deadline, and relax against the seat.

"i hate thinking of other things, other people," y/n lets out an empty chuckle, finding rhys' eyes through the rear view mirror, "isn't that why you took the commission to bodyguard me? to forget about the previous client you protected? we're a bit alike, you and i. we do things that would take our minds off things."

it felt like a bucket of ice cold water washed over rhys as he heard those words. we do things that would take our minds off things. his grip tightened on the steering wheel, gazing away from those sad e/c eyes that ingrained themselves in his memory. he never thought his longest interaction with his client would be so depressing, yet eye opening. he knew of three things.

one. he is trying to take his mind off of someone.

two. y/n works to take his mind off of something or someone.

and three. y/n wasn't cold hearted. only seemed like it.

rhys stood at the sidelines, alert and ready. his eyes wandered around the event, as if looking for any threats that would suddenly appear out of nowhere. he then dragged his gaze towards his client, who was in the middle of a group of other businessmen and women. he shared a tight and practiced smile, trying to act polite and respectful as the night dragged on.

y/n wore a tailored suit, it was simple yet elegant. his hair was slicked back, lips full and glossy from constantly licking it as he swirled the wine in his glass. he was total perfection. a face that would leave anyone in ruins. but rhys caught the slight tremble of his hand and his eyes flashing to different places, as he squeezed out of the group that huddled around him. it looked as if he was panicking, though he regained himself when he knocked back the wine. rhys almost left his spot if it weren't for the pointed and reassuring look y/n shot his direction.

it was four months after that conversation. their relationship was less tense and less quiet. y/n now regularly held conversation with rhys, getting his opinions on philosophical and theoretical things. sometimes they spoke about the geographical locations where the company could build a new branch of resort. it never trespassed the gates of personal life.

when rhys asked about something he did for himself, y/n blanked him and changed the topic.

"since you're working because of something or someone, what do you do for yourself?" it was a question that he came up with as they got deeper into the conversation about places that could potentially become a tourist spot. rhys didn't always like talking because it included emotions, but with y/n it felt natural. it was during these one on ones that he caught glimpses and pieces of the person behind the cold ceo exterior.

y/n blinked, turning away and opening another topic about attractions. "what about a butterfly house . . ." rhys sighed through his nose quietly. during the first day he said that he doesn't become included in his clients' lives and that he wasn't there to be a friend, confidant, or anything else. but looking at how y/n tensed when he even hears the words family and yourself . . .

rhys knew y/n at least needed a someone. we're a bit alike, you and i.

it didn't take long for him to notice the signs of ptsd. the way y/n only spoke about his father, excluding his mother in conversations. avoiding places that had closets that contained cleaning supplies or were used for storage of documents. there were also times rhys heard shuffling in the kitchen way past midnight even when they got home around ten or eleven in the evening.

as much as rhys tried to ignore the sense of care, not wanting things to repeat, he couldn't help but feel a bit of fear that y/n wouldn't come out of hi bedroom. would he fail to protect him because of how he lived outside and inside work? terror flashed through him as he thought about it. he's working too much, he'll kill himself before he could even reach forty.

and as of that moment, his heart thrummed against his rib cage. he screamed profanities in his mind as he lost sight of the client he was supposed to protect. he bulldozed through the people, ignoring their glares and mumbles as his eyes darted around for y/n.

there was another thing he feared. repetition of the past.

being with bridget for over two years changed a lot of things for him. never has he breached the contract rules until her. he's hasn't felt anything like it until her. he prayed to the gods that she would be the last. hopefully.

as he rounded a corner, he caught sight of a silhouette through a slightly ajar door. he pushed it open and found y/n sitting on the middle of the floor of the empty ballroom. intricate designs decorated the walls and ceiling, pieces of furniture finishing off the classic look.

"i know that you think of your previous client when you guard me."

it made rhys tense at the door. in all the years of his life, he was the one to read the other, not the other way around. something about y/n challenged him. they were simply a mystery to each other. unlike bridget who knew about his past and him knowing hers, y/n and him knew nothing about each other aside from the basics.

"when i look at you . . . it looks like it pains you to be guarding me. you think you're good at hiding it, but you're really not," y/n droned out, looking at the night sky through the windows. "during the first two weeks, i noticed some habits you retained from your commission before this one. it seems to me there was more to this certain client, that's why you took on the job of protecting me. something must have happened."

rhys stiffened ever so slightly, feeling a spike of both irritation and astonishment. he didn't like this. but at the same time, he also felt a bit of relief that someone knew. he couldn't lie about anything. something did happen with bridget, but he had hardened his heart, ignoring the twisting ache when he left. he left her when he was claiming her in his mind.

"you should think of resigning as my bodyguard," y/n gets up from the floor, patting down his suit and fixing his collar and cuffs, "i think you should go back to your previous client. i can find another bodyguard."

rhys immediately closed their distance in five strides. he's six inches taller and towers over y/n easily with his broad and muscular figure. his eyes doesn't shy away from the heated connection of misunderstandings and mystery that brewed between them in a steady pace for the past six months and threatened to explode like a nuke. "i wanted to be your bodyguard. a client from before doesn't change anything. it shouldn't. protecting you is number one priority." his words were like knives slicing into the tense atmosphere. he didn't want his client doubting him.

silence hung heavy over them, both of them not once backing away from the fiery eye contact. rhys was right, despite his relationship with bridget, that doesn't deter him from doing his job. his job is solely focused on his current client. to protect y/n l/n.

"mister rhys, you truly do surprise me." y/n turns away from his bodyguard and brushes past him, feeling a tug at his heart. he places a hand on his chest, he clenches it and lets it drop back to his side. "i'm exhausted. let me just bid my farewells, then we can leave this godforsaken event."

rhys stared at the back of y/n as they headed back to the garden. the faux personality that he reserved for the attendees returned, treating the man he just spoke to in the ballroom as nothing but another him. no, he didn't have a personality disorder, that's for sure. he just likes hiding behind masks. he definitely fits the role of a ceo.

a year passed. rhys continued his job as the ceo's bodyguard. he really fit the role. during the first week, he memorized y/n's schedule, plans, and the blueprints of the headquarters and estate. the following months, less paparazzi flocked y/n and there were occasional attempted assaults (which was new). he was completely amazing.

y/n watched the man he had been with for one year and a half. since that night during the garden event, a lot of things have shifted. their once debatable and business talks transformed a bit more personal varying from favorites and elaborated opinions on preferences. there were times they strayed away from one topic to another as he signed papers and went over some of them. it took away the ache of loneliness he felt over the years he took his place as ceo.

where his company would be the words he read and the calls he took and the coffee curbed his exhaustion he can never get rid off, he felt lighter than he did before rhys became his bodyguard.

rhys sat on the couch flushed against the trimmed walls of the office, furnished with bookshelves, a glass coffee table, and small trinkets here and there. he could feel y/n's eye drilling holes into the side of his head. he gave him a glance only to see the man turn to his papers, pretending to digest the words printed on them.

y/n had him sit on the couch, getting a slight headache from seeing and hearing him standing at the door and occasionally walking around. rhys found it amusing how the cold hearted ceo felt emotions such as frustration and glints of sadness when the world saw him as someone who used people for his gain and didn't feel a drop of guilt.

throughout the year, he got to know a lot of things about y/n. he loved reading, not his paperwork but novels. he spotted some books laying around but didn't question them and instead, skimmed through the pages. he specifically liked crime and fantasy. he also liked jazz. there was a shelf of cassettes and vinyl records near the fireplace.

"what happened between you and your previous client?" the question brought rhys' attention to y/n again. this one was very personal. were they close enough to even talk about it? he did say that what happened in costa rica stayed in costa rica.

rhys sat back, pondering before concluding. "if i were to answer that, you have to give me something of equal value," the idea of exchanged caught y/n by surprise. interest flickers through his eyes as amusement showed on his face.

"are you bargaining?"

rhys laughs lightly, the sound squeezing at the ceo's heart. "it's business."

y/n reached for his chest as he gulped. he brushed the feeling off and nods, "i like that. let's talk business then." a devilish and heart stopping smirk lifted the corners of rhys' mouth.

"i noticed on the blueprints that you don't have any room that's as small as a pantry. even your walk in closet is as big as your bedroom. why is that?" rhys had an inkling, an assumption, but he wanted it to come out of y/n's lips. he saw his client huff a breath, a thought crossing his mind, before slumping, regal self gone.

"i have ptsd. it was from my mother. when i was younger, she had this twisted sense of duty. she packed my schedule with a lot of lessons. mostly languages and subjects related to business. if i have a low score, she'd lock me in my room for a few hours. if i failed, she'd lock me in a closet. to distract myself, i indulged in hobbies and other things. she found out and locked me in for i don't know long. all i know is i was hungry and thirsty. it didn't take long for my father to find me, he had just come home from a business trip. the house was a mess after that," his voice wavered slightly, but regained its steadiness as he thought about his father. no amount of therapy sessions cured his fear of enclosed spaces.

when he tried to overcome it once, his lungs constricted, he felt nausea and sweaty, he couldn't think at all. he felt so helpless.

y/n was silent for a while before shaking his head, trying to rid of himself of the resurfaced memories. one he tried to forget but couldn't. not when they lingered in the back of his mind. if he couldn't get over his fears, then he couldn't get over his past. so he'd ignore it as long as possible.

"we're alike, you and i." rhys reused the words y/n had told him a year ago, this time removing the words a bit. and true to the bargain, he told him all about bridget von ascheberg. as soon as he mentioned her name, recognition flooded through y/n's eyes. he listened attentively, nodding and humming here and there. (read twisted games for better understanding) understanding settled in the air. comfortable silence followed soon after, both returning to what they were doing before their heart to heart.

rhys gazed at the man sitting at the desk. in a timespan shorter than his time with bridget, he and y/n knew each other in a deeper level. maybe it's because they were both men? or was it because the silence and waiting for the starting few months pushed everything into place? maybe it's because y/n took his time being comfortable first before conversing? he didn't know, there were a lot of possibilities.

he was certain of one thing. there was more to y/n's story.

three months passed. aside from the company parties, meetings, and alumni event, everything was smooth sailing for y/n. he did receive death threats once or twice, but it was all sorted out by rhys who stuck to him like glue. he either trailed behind him like a scary dog or stood beside him when having idle chats with other people.

they started eating at the table together, as y/n's father demanded one day during one of his visits and berated his son for not asking rhys any sooner. the latter has become less alert when they were in a room alone together, not like before where he would pace at times. now he sat reading or sketching, occasionally focusing as if listening or looking for something.

it was the first time rhys saw y/n in casual wear. jeans, shirt, and a jacket. his father had told him to go have fun for one day, then he could go back to working until the day he dies. so there they were, at an amusement park.

a sparkle of childish curiosity passed through y/n's mind as his eyes went from one ride to another. its been a decade since the last time he had fun. the thought twisted at his heart. where everyone enjoyed normality, he couldn't. fun time was a luxury for him when he was around ten to fifteen. he had to work hard for it, but it was only brief. how he wished to experience it all.

"is it your first time in an amusement park?" rhys stood beside him, still in all black, though his outfit was a bit more laidback. he stood tall, oozing with a sense of responsibility. he received a mute nod.

the longer y/n looked around, the more he felt overwhelmed. his lips quivered as he swallowed hard. sadness embraced him. the heaviness of the situation weighed on him. all those stolen childhood days could've been spent being reckless and facing the consequences later, having fun, making friends, and exploring life. "i never thought i'd see a rollercoaster in real life."

rhys followed y/n around. those books that laid around the house held utmost significance. they were worlds that he could imagine himself in, leaving the reality that was set in stone by his mother. universes where he could be the main character of the story, even if it's just for a little while. he felt the sliver of happiness his mother depraved him of.

they walked around the park buying souvenirs and trying out food. they went on the dropper and dropper. y/n looked at the cars of the ferris wheel and refused to get on even when rhys mentioned that the view was nice at the very top. for their last stop, they decided on the haunted mansion. it was the main attraction.

as they entered the mansion, they were covered in darkness. there were dim lights that led the way. there were many twists and at one of the turns, rhys and y/n got separated. the latter looked around in wonder, a burst of excitement guiding him through the maze of halls. the cold hearted man was hidden away in the suit of the ceo, in casual clothes he was just y/n.

just as he was about to run off somewhere, he was shoved against the wall and locked in someplace dark. he furrowed his eyebrows and took a step only to realize there was limited space. his eyes widened as he tried to move, feeling around only to find to familiar structure of two closet doors trapping him.

"hello!?" he tried to open the door only to find out it's been wedged closed by an overturned chair. he slams his palms against the wood, sweat rolling down his forehead, suddenly feeling hot. "let me out!"

his hands slid against the frame, pressing himself against the wall of the closet as if trying to make more space. he hears his pulse in his ears, eyes darting around frantically trying to find some sort of light in the blinding darkness. he feels oxygen leave his lips in pants, he's light headed. "please . . ."

he slides down the wall as the tears of the past come rushing to the present. tears slide down his cheeks as he becomes the helpless child he once was. "please . . . i'm sorry" he wheezes out, his mind flashing back to the old closet in their old estate.

cool air brushed against his sweaty forehead and he's pulled out of the closet and into a set of arms. "l/n? l/n, stay with me." rhys pats y/n's cheek, trying to wake him up from his episode. tears kept pouring as he muttered nonsense. his heart was racing too fast. "why the fuck did you lock him in a closet!?" he barked at the actors, who flinched back from the scalding tone.

"it's part of the experience. it was supposed to be for two minutes," the manager calmly de-escalated the situation.

rhys scowled, supporting y/n who was out of it. "take it out of the fucking experience." he hears the disoriented man mumble something before taking him someplace else where they could have a bit of privacy.

"thank you . . ." y/n stared blankly at the people walking by. he was sitting on a bench. he didn't know what to say. the last time he had an episode was when he tried to overcome his ptsd six years back. it didn't work, instead he had a similar experience but a tad worse.

rhys stood before him, blocking him from the nosy people who tried to peer. his arms were crossed, flexing as the irritation from earlier slowly faded. they were separated by two actors. he was forced into a pit of fake bones and when he was out he was faced with a serious situation. y/n's ptsd episode.

"it's my job."

y/n sighed, shoulders slumping. even on the one day where everything should be normal, it still turned out to be another traumatic day. the child that hid in the mansion of his mind always found his way out, replacing his current with the past. he hated how he couldn't even overcome being in a closet for five fucking minutes.

"no it's not. your job is to protect me from physical harm. but as of this moment, you eased my emotional harm. for that, i thank you," he raised his head and gave him a small smile. it felt foreign, but it felt right in the moment.

rhys' breath hitched. that damned smile that y/n gave. it was unexpected from someone who was frowning everyday. he felt that familiar tug on his heart. one he didn't want to feel, but couldn't kill. y/n looked gorgeous being showered in the golden sunset.

that smile . . . it looked good on him.

another year had gone by. a lot had changed since that day at the amusement park. almost three years, a lot of things changed.

y/n was a bit more expressive with emotions, only with rhys and his father however. he slowly started easing off his work and had rest days. despite having said days, he still could only get in, two at maximum, hours of sleep. he was eating more. rhys was there through everything. another constant in his life.

"i was thinking of a beach resort in areas where resorts aren't that popular," the chief marketing officer proposed, standing confidently in front of the board officers. y/n sat at the head of the long table reading through the hard copy of the presentation. rhys stood to his side like a hawk. since that day in the amusement park, he didn't want another shove incident, even though there weren't any closets nearby.

y/n flipped through the papers once again and sighed, "our company shouldn't only be resorts. i need a proposition that steers away from the word resort. we can't market that forever." he moved his head from side to side and sighed as he felt that satisfying pop. he's been sitting listening to propositions for an hour and a half. his ass felt numb. "everyone, let's take ten."

as people filed out the room, y/n flipped through the rest of the propositions with a groan. it was so deep and stressed, it was attractive. rhys felt his cock stir with interest as he eyed the serious ceo.

he's been having urges. that tousled hair of y/n, he just wants to run his fingers through them and tug them back. those tense shoulders, he could fuck the stress out of him by bending him over the table.

rhys shook his head and cleared his mind. during the past year, he has been curious about sexuality. normally he didn't care, however now that he's feeling something for the same sex, he's been doing some research. it started off small, from bits of information and opinions of other people in the community until he got too deep and even discovered pornographic videos.

it would be a lie if he denied watching some videos, but it was for research purposes. all his life, he had always been interested in women, but since he met y/n, he has been questioning a lot of things in life. he wants it to stop. he had to remind himself that things from the past should never repeat.

as rhys had an inner conflict, y/n had his own as well. he tried to distract himself from the masculine presence behind him, acting as if he was going through the papers. it was half true, he was trying to ignore the glimpses of moments that flashed through his mind of these past two months where he relieved himself at the thought of his own bodyguard. he felt a bit shameful, but it felt so wrong and right at the same time. rhys had been uncovering a past he tried to keep buried. however, it resurfaced every time he saw him.

"you know . . . the reason my . . . mother locked me in the closet . . ." it was a random blurt out, but it was on his mind. rhys showed a sign he was listening. "i danced as a hobby. she didn't like it. she claims its girly. i'm also . . ." y/n trailed off with a thoughtful hum. "i've never really said this to anyone but my mother. i'm also into men." no matter how long its been.

rhys felt his stomach flip. he stared ahead of him, feeling a bit of relief. "good to know."

those three words made y/n's heart flutter. he hid the heat appearing on his cheeks, thankful that his back is turned to the bodyguard that tested and pushed him. but he had to ask, even though deep down he knew the answer, "what does that mean?"

"you have work to do."

three months passed, which makes three years. in those months, y/n came out to his father, who responded with an i suspected that. being the ceo, he was expected to negotiate. he did, though during those meetings, he couldn't avoid proposals like arranged marriage or marriage to merge companies. before he could answer, rhys was already there making his presence known, a frown on his face, scaring away other ceos. it got to the point where y/n only made phone calls for such meet-ups.

to rhys, its been hectic. to resist y/n's bold advances such as sliding a hand against his bicep, sometimes his chest. looking up at him through those lashes with big innocent eyes, even though they're far from it. that cute smile from the amusement park that seemed to be only reserved for him alone. and those sounds he lets out when he's stressed or working.

y/n was driving him insane. forget the contract, they can make a new one where he'd fuck the ceo into submission anytime and anywhere he wanted as long as he stayed his.

rhys knew y/n wanted him. he could tell from his actions and his words with underlying meanings. it was killing him to keep his hands to himself. if he could only reach out, wrap a hand around y/n's neck and kiss him like there's no tomorrow . . .

it was one in the morning, they had just gotten home. in the car, y/n proposed to play a game. two truths and one dare, in which they took turns. as they stepped into the warmth of the mansion, y/n came up with a question for rhys' chosen truth. in all honestly, he just wanted to entertain his client (hopefully to tire him out) so he could turn in for the night before he took him right there on the front door.

"what are your kinks?"

as the game progressed in the car, the questions got more inappropriate, definitely borderline breaching their contract.

"hair pulling . . . bondage you could say . . ." he listed off other kinks, fixing his shoes beside y/n's before entering after him. he could feel himself harden the more the other spoke to him about something sexual, as if interviewing him before having him fuck him senseless.

until that question made his heart stop. "would you kiss me?"

rhys slowly turns to y/n, who was looking at him with mild interest with a mix of arousal. he could feel it from the three feet distance between them. the way y/n's eyes traced his lips, dipping below his chin, and stopping at the bulge straining against the black pants.

y/n was sporting the same in his pants. after he admitted to liking men, it was never the same since then. it would never be the same. not when his heart tugs and flutters because of the man standing in front of him. not when his heart fell hard when he found him in the closet in that haunted house. not when they'd had all these one on one talks. through all he stayed.

"yes. would you like me to kiss you?" rhys returned the question as they neared each other, one foot apart. maybe his feelings started growing the moment the silence turned into small and slow conversations. or that time y/n acknowledged what he truly felt when he left bridget. maybe because they shared some similarities. or is it because y/n relied on him to take away the pain of loneliness of only thinking of the future, not allowing himself to heal from the past and appreciate the present.

"yes."

(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ rhys' pov

with that, i dove down and molded my lips against his. i guided his head, tilting my heard, pushing against him. his pants echoed in my ears, trapping him against the nearest wall, taking his breath away. when he tried to pull away, i chased his lips, claiming them once more.

when i pulled away, he looked awestruck. i kiss him hard. i press our clothes cocks together and i feel him hump against me, my hands caress down his body and kneads on his cheeks. grunts pour into my mouth as our tongues fight for dominance.

his legs hook around my hips and i carry him upstairs into the bedroom i claimed. i drop him onto the bed. "clothes off." i turn to grab lube and condoms in the drawers. when i turn around, my breath is almost caught in my throat.

the curves and groves of his body, the fullness of his skin, and the way it's begging for attention, makes me want to drop everything and just fuck him raw. i am well aware this is my second breach of contract. i had no reason to do this. this would be another hook-up and-

"breach of contract or not. resigning or not. once you fuck me and i like you, i'm yours and you're mine. i swear to fucking god, we're not arguing about it. we'll fuck it out too."

that was enough for me to push him against the mattress. i'm not asking him how he knew what i was thinking because most of the time it's like he could read my mind. but he did say, i wear my thoughts on my face. maybe it was something only he could do.

my thoughts never once wavered even as i scissored my fingers into y/n's hold, my eyes watching every contort of his face, every redness of his skin. the noise that fell like waterfalls from his swollen lips as i pressed against the bundle of nerves while he desperately pushes against my hand. i groan under my breath. it took a lot of self control to not just fuck him stupid and take away his walking ability.

everything in my mind felt silent as i admired the man under me, taking me inch by inch after throwing the condom on the other side of the room claiming to want to feel me fully and be filled with cum. that almost made me lose grip.

as i bottomed out, i almost immediately rutted my hips. it was so hot and i'm being squeezed tight but just right. i almost exploded right then and there. i felt him tighten his legs around my hips, uttering for me to go.

slowly i pulled out and pushed back in with a low groan. it felt good. so good. i started to pick up pace, slamming balls deep eliciting beautiful moans and whimpers that tickled my ears like a melody.

my hand found its place around his neck, pushing him back into the soft cushions. i apply light pressure and he cries out in pleasure.

"you're ge- hah~ getting b-bigger~ hng!~"

i felt his hands rub up and down against the scars on my back before they wounded around my neck, pulling me close. my nose traced his carotid as i planted kisses and nipped at his skin, my thrusts growing harsher and erratic.

i bit hard on his shoulder with a grunt as i felt him clamp around me, making me cum, shooting thick ropes of cum inside him. i felt spurts of warmth between us as y/n flinches and convulses from his high. he breathes heavily, a dopey smile on his face. i press a brief kiss on his lips and pull out. he groans and drapes an arm over his eyes.

"i mean what i said, whether you're my bodyguard or not. i like you and you're mine and i'm yours."

hearing that made my heart feel good. if there was a god out there, thank you lord for giving me a second chance. i laid beside him on my back. we both stare at the ceiling. under all that cold hard shell, he was very different. he warm warm and mellow. i was cold and barren. yet he thawed all that.

"can you i be your boyfriend?" y/n asked, interlacing our fingers together. it's been a long while since i've last been in a relationship. people say it's too late to try at my age. but it doesn't hurt to want and need. i crack a rare smile.

"whatever you want buttercup."

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

A Song of Ice & Shadow

Part 20

You can read previous chapters here.

Summary: After a dangerous incident, Y/n and Nesta finally reconcile. Y/n is upset with Azriel for something he did.

WC: 2.6K.

Y/n awoke in the middle of the night with an uneasy feeling, her chest tightening as if something dark and oppressive was pressing down on her. A second later, a piercing scream shattered the silence. Nesta.

Y/n jumped out of bed, her heart pounding as she bolted down the hallway toward her sister’s room. The door was ajar, Azriel had just let go of Cassian, who rushed inside.

“What’s going on?” Y/n demanded, skidding to a stop at the threshold.

Azriel moved before she could step inside, blocking her path. She shoved against him, panic flashing in her eyes, but he didn’t budge. Instead, he held her tightly, restricting her movement.

“Let go of me, Shadowsinger,” she hissed, struggling in his grip, her nails digging into his arms. 

“Y/n, it’s too dangerous.” His voice was calm and steady, but there was a tightness beneath it, strained, almost pained. He held her firmly, but never aggressively.

His calm tone only fueled her anger. She struggled harder, but he didn’t release her. His jaw clenched, and his shadows twisted restlessly at his shoulders, as if reflecting the war inside him.

He didn’t want to hold her back. But he couldn’t let her get hurt

Her gaze snapped to Rhysand, who stood over Nesta, his expression a cold mask of focus. Power pulsed around him, his magic tangled around Nesta’s mind, his presence burrowed deep into her thoughts. Cassian knelt at her side, his voice hoarse as he called Nesta’s name, trying to wake her. Trying to relinquish the silver flame. 

“DO SOMETHING!” Y/n screamed, her voice raw with desperation.

As the flames began to recede and Nesta’s body relaxed, Azriel slowly released Y/n.

The moment she was free, she shot him a glare, pushed past him and stormed forward, shoving past Cassian and dropping to her knees beside her sister. Her hand grasped Nesta’s tightly, ignoring the males completely. 

As the three males began discussing Nesta’s powers, Y/n overheard something Rhys said, something that made her rage snap.

“You fucking bastards,” she spat, rising to her feet. Her hands shook with fury.

Azriel stiffened slightly, but Rhysand turned toward her, unflinching.

“You’d do anything to get your way, wouldn’t you?” she growled, stepping toward them. “You saw what happened the last time she tried to fucking scry. It opened a door and Elain almost died!”

“Elain is safe and guarded,” Rhys replied smoothly, as if it excused everything.

“Nesta wasn’t!” Y/n’s voice trembled with unrestrained rage. “And don’t think for a second I don’t see what you’re doing. You’re manipulating Nesta with Elain, making her do your dirty work. Fucking selfish assholes.”

Rhysand’s expression remained impassive, but his violet eyes darkened. “Nesta is a grown female. She can make her own choices.” 

Y/n barked a laugh, cold and humorless. “Is that what helps you sleep at night? Pretending you’re not a selfish prick putting her in danger?”

Cassian looked torn, but before he could speak, Y/n rounded on him. “And you,” she said, jabbing a finger at his chest. “You let it happen.”

Cassian stiffened. He couldn’t even say anything, but guilt flickered in his eyes.

“If something happens to Nesta, I will fucking kill you,” Y/n whispered, every word laced with deadly promise as her gaze flicked to Rhys again. “And I don’t care if I have to release the worst monster in Prythian to do it, because I will,” she threatened, and something in her voice told them she wasn’t bluffing. If Nesta died because of any of them, she’d let the world burn to get her revenge.

Rhys took a slow step towards her, magic coiling behind his eyes, but Azriel stepped between them, silent and steady, blocking Rhys’s path, stopping the tension from escalating. He didn’t speak right away, he just held Rhys’s gaze with quiet intensity. A silent plea. A warning. A reminde. 

“We should let Nesta rest,” he said calmly, his voice low and firm.

Rhysand relented, magic fading as he stepped back, his jaw tight. He glanced at Y/n one last time before turning and leaving the room.

Cassian lingered, but Y/n shot him a glare that made him leave without another word.

Once she was alone with Nesta, the guilt hit her, sharp and immediate. For everything she had said to Nesta, for not speaking to her all that time, for pushing her away when she knew that if anyone could understand even a fraction of what she was going through, it was Nesta.

Y/n sat beside her and didn’t move. She fell asleep in the armchair, her hand loosely curled around her sister’s.

When she stirred, Nesta’s fingers were weakly squeezing her own. Y/n’s eyes snapped open. Nesta’s blue-gray eyes were barely open, exhaustion evident in every inch of her pale face.

“Hey,” Y/n greeted softly, sitting up immediately, her grip tightening slightly.

“Hey,” Nesta echoed in a raspy voice.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Nesta lied.

Y/n sighed. “I- I know this is probably not a good time, but there’s never going to be a better one. And after last night, I can’t let things stay this way between us. I’m sorry I left you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I was cruel to you, that I pushed you away, that I-” Her voice wavered, but forced herself to go on. “That I took the guilt you felt and used it against you. I’m sorry for everything, Nesta.”

Nesta blinked slowly. Then, in a voice quieter than Y/n had ever heard from her, she murmured, “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to call you a coward. You’re the bravest person I know. And… I didn’t mean what I said about Father.”

Y/n’s chest constricted, her eyes darting away. “That part is true.” 

“It’s not,” Nesta insisted, shaking her head slightly. She braced her hands on either side of the bed, forcing herself to sit up. “Hey, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have saved him.”

“I could have,” Y/n whispered. “If I used my damned powers, they’d still be here.”

Nesta’s face softened. “You couldn’t. You tried. I saw you.” 

Y/n clenched her jaw. “If I had just trained more with-”

“No,” Nesta cut in firmly. “Even Amren didn’t know how to help you. She tried, remember?”

Y/n took a shaky breath, her throat burning. “I just- can we please not talk about that?” she pleaded. “Can you- can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Nesta let out a breath. “Just promise me we won’t fight again.”

Y/n huffed a small laugh. “I promise I’ll try my best.”

Nesta opened her arms and pulled her sister into a tight embrace. Y/n hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around her gently. They held onto each other for a long moment- Mother knows they both needed it. A long, comforting hug.

Now that they were back on good terms, neither Cassian nor the world were ready for them. May the mother help him.

Then Nesta sighed. “I’m going to attempt scrying again.”

Y/n pulled back. “You can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

Nesta met her gaze. “I know, but I won’t let fear or the Cauldron stop me.” 

“You do know they’re using you, right?” Y/n’s voice was edged with bitterness.

Nesta exhaled. “I know. But if I don’t do it, Elain will.”

“Maybe she should. Why is it always us?”

Nesta’s brows shot up. “What happened to you? This is Elain we’re talking about.”

Y/n laughed bitterly. “Elain is a traitorous bitch. When she saw how comfortable this life could be, when she saw an opportunity to belong here, she took it and turned on us, her own fucking sisters. And for what?” A bitter smirk curled her lips. “A new family? And two new sisters? How fitting.”

“I mean I’m mad at Elain, but you’re-”

“Furious?” Y/n arched a brow. “Disappointed? Shocked? All of the above?”

“And hurt,” Nesta added carefully.

Y/n’s jaw tightened. “She can do whatever she wants. I’m done trying to protect her and she clearly doesn’t need me anymore.”

Nesta was silent for a moment before nudging her playfully. “You said that about me. And now look at us.” 

“That’s because you’re my favorite sister,” Y/n shot back smoothly.

Nesta laughed quietly, shaking her head. “You really have changed. Back then, you’d never admit that out loud.” 

Y/n shrugged. “Well, now I’m free. Unfortunately, not in the physical sense but you get what I mean.”

“Uh oh,” Nesta muttered. “Does that mean you’re going to be an even colder, heartless bitch to everyone now?”

“Already am.” Y/n flipped her hair with mock pride.

“Not to me though.”

“Shh, don’t expose my weakness,” Y/n joked.

“I see you ladies have made up.” Cassian’s voice broke the moment as he stepped into the room, carrying a tray full of food. His eyes flicked between Nesta and Y/n, his usual smug grin in place. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

Y/n glared at him, lips pursing slightly before she stood. “I’ll leave you two to it.” 

Although she did not necessarily like Cassian, she knew he cared about Nesta and wanted to give him a moment with her alone, just this once. Little did she know what fate had in store for them next.

Cassian raised a brow at her, as if surprised by her sudden willingness to give him and Nesta a private moment. But he didn’t question it.

Y/n cast one last glance at her sister before stepping out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

—

“I want you with me,” Nesta said, attempting to convince Y/n to accompany her to the River House for an attempt at scrying.

Y/n sighed heavily, arms crossed over her chest. “Fine, I’ll go. If only to support you while being surrounded by those vultures. Just know I still don’t like this idea.”

Going to the house meant Azriel would be the one taking her. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night- the night he held her back when Nesta was in danger. She hadn’t gone to train with him either. 

A part of her knew he had done it because he cared about her. Because he didn’t want her running into something dangerous. But another part, the louder part of her, knew that he stopped her in case Rhysand decided to take drastic measures. And for that, she was angry at him. 

Just because he was their High Lord didn’t mean Rhys was always right. And it certainly didn’t mean they had to stand by him when he was in the wrong… which lately, he often was.

Azriel was waiting on the roof, his wings folded neatly behind him, his expression unreadable as ever. “Ready to go?” he asked, extending his scarred hand to her.

She hesitated, just for a breath, before gripping it. But not before giving him a sharp, sour look.

As they took off into the brisk air, Azriel held her close, ensuring she wouldn’t slip from his grip as they soared high above Velaris. Halfway through the flight, his low voice cut through the wind.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I don’t want to talk to you. Can we just fly in silence?” Her voice was flat.

Azriel, however, wasn’t deterred. “But I want to talk to you.”

She rolled her eyes and looked away, refusing to meet his gaze.

Azriel leaned in slightly, his breath brushing her ear. “You know, when someone is holding your life in their hands, it’s not the best time to provoke them,” he teased.

Y/n arched a brow, pulling back slightly to glare at him. “So you’re going to drop me if I do?” 

Azriel smirked faintly. “Possibly.” 

Her expression didn’t waver. “Then do it, I don’t care.”

He stared at her, clearly unimpressed by her challenge. He only slightly loosened his grip on her, but she didn’t flinch. Somehow, she knew he’d never put her in harm’s way, no matter what she said or did.

“You seem to be struggling. Need some assistance?” she quipped, pressing her palms against his chest in an attempt to push herself away from him. He instantly tightened his hold around her waist, pulling her even closer.

“Are you really this mad at me, you’d rather fall than talk to me?” 

“At least the fall would be more pleasant,” she shot back with a bitter smile.

Azriel let out a quiet exhale, shaking his head. His voice returned to that cool, neutral tone. “I assure you, it would not.”

When they finally flew past the ward line, he winnowed them to the River House. They arrived before Cassian and Nesta, though Azriel could’ve brought all of them at once. Cassian had insisted on flying Nesta, probably for the sake of a few extra quiet moments alone.

Y/n stepped away from Azriel the second they landed, dusting off her clothes as if trying to rid herself of his touch.

Azriel noted it, but said nothing. Instead, he simply walked toward the door. But when he reached the knob, he paused, glancing back to see she hadn’t moved.

“You’re not coming in?”

Her eyes glittered with something cold. “And be alone in the same room with the judgemental pricks you call friends?” she scoffed. “No thanks. I’ll wait for Nesta. She’s the only reason I’m here.” 

Azriel ran a hand through his hair before turning to face her fully. “So… you finally made up?” he asked, already knowing the answer but still attempting to keep the conversation going.

Y/n narrowed her eyes. “As if you didn’t know that.” She gestured vaguely at him. “I know your shadows keep you updated on everything. Those little busybodies.” 

Azriel huffed a quiet laugh. “It is their job… and mine.”

“Yes, yes, Spymaster and all. Blah, blah, blah,” she muttered bitterly.

He hesitated before speaking again, “If this is about what happened the night Nesta-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

His lips pressed together, but he didn’t push. Instead, he exhaled through his nose. “Then what can I do to make you talk to me again?”

Y/n arched a brow at him, tilting her head slightly. “Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And maybe I never want to talk to you again.”

Azriel’s expression remained unreadable. “You’re talking to me now.”

She glared at him and turned away, arms crossing tightly over her chest.

A long pause. Then, softer this time, he pleaded, “Come on. Tell me how to make it up to you. Anything you want.”

Her brow rose. “Anything?” 

“Anything,” he confirmed.

“Are you sure?” she mused, a smirk playing at her lips.

He simply nodded.

“I want to get out of the house,” she finally said. “And not to another one of your High Lord’s fancy estates.”

He nodded once more. “Alright. I’ll take you out tonight, but you can’t tell anyone.” 

Her smirk widened into a grin. “Oh? Would you be breaking the rules?” 

Azriel gave her a warning look. “I would. And I’d get in trouble if we’re caught.” 

Her grin turned wicked. But before she could respond, he added, catching the gleam in her eyes and the grin, “Don’t get any ideas. I thought this is what you wanted.”

“It is,” she said. “But I’m still debating what would be more fun; a bit of freedom… or watching you get in trouble.” She tapped a finger to her chin, feigning deep thought.

Azriel studied her for a moment,then shook his head. “You really are a troublemaker, aren’t you?” 

She shrugged, that mischievous glint still dancing in her eyes. He sighed, rolling his eyes. This female was really going to get him in trouble, and this wasn’t just about today. But she was the only kind of trouble he didn’t mind.

Tags: @st4r-girl-official @judig92 @5onedirection5 @nayaniasworld @blackgirlmagicforever @stained-glass-eyes0708 @slytherintaco @aehllita @nebarious @t0uch-starved-h0e @bravo-delta-eccho @sylvermoon @going-through-shit @latinxbipride @i-am-infinite @azrielrot @fuckingsimp4azriel @theravenphoenix26 @hanatsuki-hime @fantanbietsson @rcarbo1 @weasleymagic @secretsicanthideanymore @spymaster03 @elaselat @minnieoo @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @daughterofthemoons-stuff @jojodojo02 @questionmymentality @romantasyreader28 @cassie-at-college-blog @dabiloverphoenix @hippop345 @fan-of-many-bands @freefalls06-blog @yesiamthatwierd @ms-dont-care @wxveysun @ashjade19 @jennigsonl

[nikethestatue]

Elriel's Bond

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

I twisted—only to have the king’s guards grab me from behind. Rhys was instantly there, but Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in.

So I just saw this and as I read it, I jumped up and needed to run here to type this our.

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

The 'prettier one' is Elain. But who shouts, when she is being taken away and possibly murdered? Azriel.

And who's 'forgotten'? Mor.

The scene is centered around those 3 people, with Feyre observing it.

(Afterwards, she specifically observes Cassian and his reaction to Nesta being thrown in, pairing off those two in her mind).

However, in this scene, we have Elain, we have Azriel and we have Mor--Mor, who is viewed as the biggest obstacle to Elriel, because of Azriel's supposed feelings for her.

Let's recall another scene, where another person was shot with Faeabane: as Feyre tends to the severely wounded Rhysand (whom she found because she was driven insane by her bond, urging her to go after him and putting her into a frenzy), she starts speaking about her sisters. And what does she say? "And I think Elain would like it too. Only she would cling to Azriel for some peace and quiet."

And then she thinks in her head:  I smiled at the though- at how handsome they would be together. If the warrior ever stopped loving Mor." 

Let's jump back to the Hybern scene again:

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten.

Azriel, who is shot with Faebane, screams when Elain is put into the Cauldron. Mor already forgotten--is this the most glaring way of SJM hinting at the monumental change that's occurred with Azriel and his feelings towards Mor?

Let's read the whole sentence, without Feyre's part in there:

“Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten. But Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in.

The King says put Elain into the Cauldron and what's interesting is that the poison of Faebane is called 'the king's poison'.

What if at that point, Azriel shouted because he felt the severing of his bond to Elain? Or out of FEAR that the bond would be nullified or damaged or broken?

'The king's poison' was coursing through Azriel, but the king also threw Elain into the Cauldron--and faebane is a substance that neutralizes and suppresses Fae powers.

Could Azriel's cry be about the muting of his bond with Elain?

Just like with his other two brothers, who all fell in love with human women and were mated to human women, Azriel could've felt the pull of the bond with Elain even when she was human. However, when she was being Made, her was also shot full of Faebane (unlike Cassian for example, who was simply gravely wounded while Nesta was being made).

Could that have contributed to Azriel 'losing' the sensation of the bond to Elain and the Cauldron opportunistically crafting a weaker bond for Elain with Lucien? A bond that was thrown at Lucien (his words) the moment Elain emerged from the Cauldron.

The bond snapped for Lucien, but it did not snap for Elain. Elain's continued indifference towards Lucien could potentially be explained by the fact that she is already bound to Azriel (even if she doesn't know it) and therefore, she simply cannot feel anything for Lucien. Her heart, her soul, and her mind are already occupied by someone else. Lucien doesn't belong.

So, in conclusion, in two sentences, SJM showed us a few glaringly important things: (Interestingly) Elain's beauty outshines them all (which I think will come in handy later). Mor is forgotten. The King's poison is inside Azriel, and on the king's orders Elain is tossed into the Cauldron. Azriel cries out as he watches it, as the poison works itself in, (potentially damaging their bond).

The plot thickens.

[solbaby7]

Put On A Show

pairing: Rhysand x reader

warnings: smut, exhibitionism, explicit language, some light degradation, i couldn’t help myself guys sorry

Summary: Rhysand brings you along as a plus one to a celebration at the Court of Nightmares and you put on a special show for your High Lord

—

High Lord of the Court of Nightmares.

Lord of Night.

Death Incarnate.

There’s no place for the teasing smiles, the playful jokes or restrained power here. All the things of Rhysand that you’d grown accustomed to was swapped out for that arrogant smirk, the pristine elegance of his attire that exuded centuries of wealth but beyond all of that; his most noticeable accessory was the ebbing darkness that seemed to loom around him. “I’m sorry for how I talk to you down there. I can’t—they can’t see me that way.”

“I promise I won’t take it personally,” You’d told him, meaning it no matter how high your brows shot up when he’d sheepishly handed over your outfit for the night.

If you could call it that.

It was basically see though, soft fabric just barely covering your breasts, criss-crossing at the stomach before settling into a skirt that barely covered your backside when you walked. Rhys had insisted on a little precaution, waving a hand and covering you in tattoos so dark it looked like the night sky was plucked from above and stamped into your skin. The intricate designs didn’t move when you touched them but anytime you’d accidentally brushed into Azriel or bumped shoulders with Mor, the ink smeared. “You marking me or something?”

It was meant as a joke but he’s serious when he answers. “Yes.”

Your roll falls into place when you’re winnowed to the front entrance of the Hewn City and instantly you understand why none of the Inner Circle came here much. The air smelled of mischief; chaos bled from the windows and greed reared its head when the High Lord sauntered through the front doors like he owned the place—he did.

The shift in the room happens quickly, guards dressed to the tee in heavy armor and swords sharp enough to disembowel with one sickening swing; men who’d fought in great battles and devastating wars, bowing to their knees at the sight of him.

This version of Rhysand eats it up, chin high and nose higher as he looked down on each and every person in attendance. Gone was the male with great dreams of peace and prosperity; dreams of a place where people of all types called home without fear of it being ripped from them at any moment.

This version of Rhysand was the fear.

He was the darkness that lurked around at night, waiting and watching patiently for his victims to slip up so he could reach out and capture them in his dark web. “All of this, for me?” The High Lords voice clears across the room easily with everyone so silent, heads bowed and the few who’d bravely raised their eyes to feast on a slice of your skin was met with the silent threat of death by the shadowsinger that followed your flank. “I’m flattered.”

The High Lord sits comfortably in his thrown, legs spread wide and arms lazily spread out on the sides. For the first time since you’d gotten here, he looks at you, beckoning you forward with a cocky little jerk of his head and only when you stand before him does he allow the others to rise. “You sit.” He tells you though, gesturing proudly to the spot on his lap and you resist the urge to see other people’s reactions when you obey.

Despite the dark ambiance, something about the unsettling atmosphere intrigued you; eyes catching over carefully carved dragons with wings that seemed never-ending as it curved around the walls, the crown moulding and ceiling like it was preparing to take flight and burst through the roof. The citizens of the Hewn City, you find are equally as unsettling; groups of people coming up to bow and greet their High Lord, shamelessly taking in the ample curves left on display by your flimsy attire. “Pretty, isn’t she?” The Lord of Darkness questions after a moment, violet eyes fixed on the curve of your spine before settling on the armored male to the left.

The male swallows thickly, his gulp audible when he nods just barely. “Yes, High Lord.”

Rhys hummed in agreement, the back of his hand beginning to trace the curve of your shoulder when you hear some muffled voice coughing out “whore”. The touch leaves and that ebbing darkness grows again, robbing the man who’d dare utter the syllables of his breath. The man’s hands reach for his throat, eyes wide as his mouth gapes open and closed like a fish plucked out of the water and you don’t place your hand on the High Lords chest until the man’s face is a unusual shade of blue. “Aw, let him go. He’s just mad you’ve got me all to yourself,” You lean in closer, voice sultry and a little bored when you settle deeper into his chest. “Poor bastard probably doesn’t even know what to do with his equipment under all that armor.”

Another best of time passes before you hear the desperate gasp behind you and the feeling that washes over you when seeing the part of Rhysand he kept hidden—the all powerful Lord of Destruction ready to ruin anyone in his way.

Lust.

The man is forgotten, carried away by his friends and briefly you notice Cassian and Mor drifting off into the crowd. Azriel remains close by, a healthy enough distance away for you to feel confident enough to grind down on the thick thigh between your legs.

“You should stop that,” The words rumble against your bare back a half a minute later, hands dripping tight at your hips to still the movements. “Unless you plan on giving them a show.”

A brow raises and your neck craned to look Rhysand in the eye, the smirk pulling on your mouth matching the same one he’d seen every time he stepped foot in this city of violence and deviant morals. “Would that please you, Lord of Darkness?”

Rhysand goes still and for a moment you expect him to deny you, hands bracing yourself to get off and apologize when his grip keeps you in place. You can’t look away when he drags your hips on his thigh the same way you had before, inky pupils devouring violet irises when you let out a breathy moan.

It captures attention and you notice Azriel step a little closer—for further protection or to watch you can’t tell and you don’t care to figure it out when a shudder runs up your spine at the delicious drag hard muscles against your clothed cunt.

Your body burns with want when your High Lord grabs a handful of your ass, forcing you to ride his thigh faster, moans spilling out like summons to the dark creatures that lurked about the Court of Nightmares. “You look so pretty like this,” His voice is gruff, raspy and he’s quick to call upon dark power, a cool sensation spreading over your skin where it touched.

“Fuck,” The curse drags on your tongue, eyes clamping shut when your orgasm washes over you, no longer caring about the eyes that burned holes into your body. No doubt every fae or creature alike could smell the scent of your arousal permeating the air but where embarrassment was supposed be was relief.

The bulge in the High Lords pants is evident, a hand sneaking down to cup it through the expensive fabric. “You think the citizens of the Hewn City want to watch their High Lord fuck his girl?”

The sound of a button popping open, a zipper sliding down and a hand settles around your throat. “Deliciously filthy thing, you are.” The top of your dress falls apart and you’re certain Azriel can see everything when Rhysand fished his cock free. “Let’s find out.”

[fanwarriorfictions]

Not Again - Part Nine

Summary: Y/n is desperate to try and get home, willing to face near death again to try if she must. Azriel is not willing to let her risk herself, and fortunately neither is the rest of his family.

Warnings: she’s a little angsty

Series Masterlist

-Part Nine-

“You’re not trying it again,” Azriel snarls, arms crossed over his chest, “We don’t even know what went wrong in the first place, you could’ve died.”

Y/n sighs, rubbing her temples, they’d been at this for hours now, surrounded by the inner court. So far, no one seemed to be on her side, least of all Azriel. As soon as the words had left her mouth he’d been seething, that quiet calm mask replaced by burning rage.

“Give me the book of breathings and I’ll figure it out,” Y/n snaps back, bearing all of her teeth at him, “I must have misread something. Maybe the ancient busy body will have answers for me.”

“You’re not going anywhere near that book!”

“Az, chill out,” Cassian says, gripping his brother’s arm, “Let’s all calm down and think for a damn moment.”

Y/n slumps into her seat, glaring at Azriel as he paces on the other side of the table, the only thing keeping them from lunging at each other and tearing out each other’s throat. He glares right back, shadows whipping around him like they might grab her and strap her to the very seat she sits on to keep her from trying the spell again.

“Azriel’s right,” Feyre sighs, “That book was holding you hostage, and the book of breathings has done the same to me, I don’t want to risk you getting hurt again, or worse.”

“I’m not a child in need of your protection,” Y/n says, ice cold and guarded.

“No,” Amren says then, “But you are stranded and in need of our help. We will not risk ourselves because you want to foolishly run head first to your death.”

“Y/n, it’s in your best interest to take it slow, and let us help you,” Rhys chimes in, “I felt something when you opened that portal, something dark, powerful. There’s something out there, and whatever it is took an interest in out dear Y/n here.”

Y/n’s shoulder lock up, and Azriel’s glare turns to ice, “You already knew that didn’t you?”

“What was it?” Nesta leans on the table, steely eyes staring directly into Y/n’s soul.

“I don’t know,” she says, holding that piercing gaze, not backing down an inch, “I heard something, when I was trapped. Something cold and wicked.”

“What did it say?” Azriel demands, stepping closer to the table that separates them, multiple times in the last hour she’d been half tempted to leap across that table and fight it out with teeth, fists, and daggers, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh please.” She rolls her eyes, and she can see the exact moment it crawls beneath his skin, he looks half tempted to strangle her, “It’s kind of hard to talk when you’re to busy shoving your tongue down my throat.”

“I’m sorry,” Mor says, looking at Az with wide eyes, “What?”

“Listen, princess.” Azriel leans on the table, ignoring Mor, ignoring the rest of his family who look between the two with varying degrees of alarm, “I don’t give a shit about this whole, I’m tougher than the world act, you’re scared and I know it, I can fucking see it, so go ahead and tell me what the fuck it said.”

She practically hisses at him, leaning forward in her seat, arm in casual reach of the blade at her thigh, “You don’t fucking know me, shadowsinger.”

“That’s enough,” Feyre snaps, “if you two can’t be civil together one of you can get out.”

Azriel looks ready to argue but one sharp glare from his high lady has him backing down. He turns on his heal, taking three long strides away from the table, putting distance between them like it would cool the raging flames in their eyes.

“What did you hear?” Feyre asks calmly, that air of dominance in her voice, High Lady, a queen in her own right.

Y/n holds her head high, meeting Feyre’s eyes, she may not be a queen but one day she would be, and she would bow to no one, “It told me to pay the price, gods killer’s kin.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Cassian asks, “Why can’t these things just say what they mean?”

“When my mother banished the gods to that hell realm to die,” Y/n says, “It would seem not all of them did. And whoever survived is demanding the price my mother was supposed to give.”

“And what price is that?” Azriel’s voice is deadly soft.

She could feel the anger radiating off of him, not necessarily at her, not necessarily not at her. He was angry that she’d nearly died, that she was willing to do it again if it meant going home. He was angry at her for being so damn stubborn that she wouldn’t listen, that she wouldn’t let him play protective fae male. She was angry to, so gods damned angry at the Wyrd for handing her this fate. For bringing her here in the first place, for putting her in their lives, in his, only to take her away again.

“My life.”

Azriel felt the words echo through him, bouncing around in his skull, each syllable cracking another piece of him until he was on the verge of shattering. My life, my life, my life, her life, her life, her life, her, her, her. Sharp stabbing pain in his chest like each word was a ash arrow through his sternum and directly into the heart beneath.

“No.”

“You don’t-“

“No,” he growls again, gaze matching Y/n’s, fire and ice pushing and pushing against each other to create a storm.

“We don’t know what this thing is,” Rhys interjects, “If it’s an actual god like thing, one of Quinlann’s Asteri, or something else entirely. Amren will search that dreadful book for answers about the gate. You two, will sit and calm the fuck down, and the rest of us will get back to work.”

The High Lord’s voice held an air of finality, no room to argue, even Y/n slumped in her seat, letting some of the cold fire go out. Amren is up and out the door as soon as Rhys stands, grumbling something beneath her breath about ungrateful little girls that has Y/n glaring between her shoulders like she was imagining that dagger strapped to her thigh buried between them.

“It will be alright, Y/n” Feyre lays a gentle hand on the female’s shoulder, “We will get you home, and if this god wants a fight, we will give it one.”

Azriel notes the shattered and broken look in Y/n’s eyes as she nods at his High Lady. He is so busy examining each of her motions that he doesn’t notice his family file out, doesn’t notice the concerned eyes and subtle glances between him and the female before him. She won’t look at him, he can tell she is actively trying not to meet his gaze. Fine, if she wanted to play the silent game, he’d play it and he’d win. They were going to have this out one way or another.

He sits across from her, arms crossed over his chest, eyes searching her face for any motion, but she sits still, that absolute fae stillness that looks like she isn’t even breathing. If it wasn’t for the steady beat of her heart in his ears he would think she wasn’t.

They sat there in silence, neither willing to be the one to break first. She stares at the wall beyond him, he stares at her face.

The tension in the room is suffocating, Azriel’s shadows are the only movement, the only sound, whispering in his ears, she’s upset, help her, comfort her. He wants to scream, to tell them to mind their own business.

He knows she’s upset, he knows and there’s a part of him that wants to take her into his arms and hold her, to tell her it’s alright and that he’d help her figure it out, but there’s an even bigger part of him that wants to keep yelling, to grab her and shake her till she stops and actually listens to him. He wishes he was like Rhys, that he could go into her mind and show her what she had looked like, trapped in that spell, he wishes he could show her the terror in his heart. How could she be so gods damned stubborn that she would even think to try it again, to put herself through that again, to put him through it again. Because if she did it, he would be right there beside her, and he would burn all over again to keep her safe.

Both of them were to stubborn to break first, they sat there for nearly an hour before Azriel stood, that far away look in his eyes that meant Rhys was talking to him in his head. He didn’t say anything to Y/n, only sending her a warning look before stalking out the doors and jumping from the balcony. She was half tempted to follow, to take her talons directly into his back, to get the fight she’d been itching to have with him. Instead she sat there, staring at that same blank space on the wall, mind spiraling down and down into that dark portal that ate up the Walking Dead book.

She wishes she still had it, that she could figure out how it all went wrong. She was so sure she’d copied those marks perfectly, spelling out the name of her home meticulously. Orynth, Terrasen, she’d learned how to write out the name in the Wyrd marks as a child, she knew it like the back of her hand. It should’ve worked, the gate should’ve worked.

When it had opened, she swore she could feel home on the other side, lands of pine and snow, the smell of the kings flame blooming across the mountains. It was right there, just beyond her reach, and that was when she’d felt it, when there had been something else, something dark that took her mind and whispered those words. Which god had survived, which one now demanded her death, she wasn’t sure. Quite frankly she didn’t want to know.

Whoever it was, they were angry, angry at her mother for what she had done, for the deaths of the other gods, and for that, they would take the one thing her mother cherished beyond anything else, Y/n. They would take her, using the power in her blood to make the lock that would bring them home, squeezing every last drop of life from her till there was nothing left.

Azriel knew he was going to walk into the River house and be bombarded, the question was, who would get to him first.

“Who needs a babysitter now?”

He glares at his brother, “Shut up, Cassian.”

“No, no, I’m going to enjoy this,” Cass grins at him, “I’m surprised you actually came down here, with way you two were staring each other down I was sure there would be some rough-“

Azriel sends him a warning snarl, “Watch it.”

Cassian only grins wider, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “I’ve never seen someone get under you skin like that. I’m surprised it took this long for, how’d did she put it? For your tongue to end up down her throat.”

Azriel was seconds away from sending his fist into his brothers face when Rhys opens his office door, “I’m surprised you’re not in a bed right now.”

Cassian’s roaring laughter fills the hall way and Azriel doesn’t hold back the fist he sends straight into Cassian’s stomach. His brother breathlessly laughs, even as he doubles over. Rhys’s eyes sparkle in amusement and Azriel sends him a look that dares him to say anything else.

“Why did you call me down?”

The High Lords humor vanishes just like that, it’s enough to even sober up Cassian, “Amren found something.”

No, no, no, no, “What is it?”

“The book of breathings was very talkative, it kept telling her that the storyteller should have heeded its warnings,” Rhys sighs, leaning against the door way, “With enough snarling Amren was able to wring a solid answer out of it.”

Azriel felt like throwing up as he asked, “What did it say?”

Rhys gives him a look, one that seems pleading, “That the Wyrd brought her here for a reason, as a gift to her, and it was angry at her for not accepting it.”

Cassian sighs, “What does that mean. What gift?”

There’s a moment where Azriel thinks Rhys won’t answer. Whatever it was, Az isn’t completely sure he wants to know. Whatever that wretched book had to say, it couldn’t be good.

“Fate brought Y/n here as a gift to her,” Rhys says again, taking a deep steadying breath, “Brought her here as a gift to her and her mate.”

Everything went quiet, the air, the best of his heart, quiet. No sound, no breaths, nothing. Just that word, mate, her mate.

“Az.”

He didn’t know who said it, Rhys, Cassian, his shadows, he didn’t know, he couldn’t hear beyond the echo of the word, mate, mate, mate, mate.

“Who?” He chokes on it, drowns in it, mate, mate, mate, “Who is it?”

He could feel it, like a tendril of shadow that reaches far far above the city, to the red cliffs, to the house carved into it’s side.

Rhys gives him a pitying look, “Brother, who do you thi-“

A soft tug, on that shadow, so faint it feels like it slips between his fingers.

“Who?” He pleads, breaking beneath it, mate, mate, mate, “Please.”

He collapses beneath the weight, knees digging into the soft plush rug beneath him. His brothers don’t move, they let him get crushed beneath the word.

“The book said it was a gift,” his brother whispers, “a gift to the storyteller and the shadowsinger.”

Mate, mate, mate, mate. That tendril of shadow firmly in his grasp, and on the other side, sits a storm of ice and fire. His mate, sits on the other side, high above him in the House of Wind, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate.

She is his mate.

Tag List- If you would like to be added to the list please send me an ask or message me❣︎

@inloveallthetime , @microwaveallthedemons , @nayaniasworld , @thecraziestcrayon , @fightmedraco , @blackgirlmagicforever , @nikt-wazny-y , @fangirlloza010 , @thisiskaylin , @wolfgirl624 , @khaleesihavilliard , @fluffy-bnny , @mariahoedt , @durgenyx , @glitterypirateduck , @byyalady , @amberlynn98 , @ferrarisbitch , @a-cup-of-nightshade , @breella , @hnnybee0 , @superspideyparker , @that-one-little-soybean , @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife , @websterss , @sassybluebird , @fakesocialmediaa , @balsalmic-vinegar , @lees-chaotic-brain , @yashiw , @a-mexican-waffle , @thefairlyaveragegatsby

[jasmineandcedar]

In the absence of shadows

I've been reflecting on Azriel's shadows while working on a piece of writing, naturally reminiscing about what SJM has given us so far. This is nothing new, but the behaviour of his shadows is to me one of the most beautiful ways in which SJM has shown just how much Elain means to Azriel.

Because, is it really a coincidence that Azriel uses his shadows to hide, to conceal his inner world and emotional state (“the shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much,” as Rhys said), and yet around Elain, they behave differently? She is the one around whom his shadows tend to vanish, and who understands his emotional state without him having to put it into words (“Elain’s large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days”).

And is it a coincidence that Azriel’s shadows serve as his source of intel—“the news brought to him on his shadows’ whispers,” and so on—yet around Elain, they tend to vanish? That with her, he doesn’t need them to understand her?

His understanding of Elain isn’t born from the observational skills honed through his magic or his role as Spymaster. He isn’t just Azriel the Spymaster doing his job. It has nothing to do with duty, the duties that stand in the way of his happiness and well-being.

When it comes to Elain, it’s simply Azriel the male, stripped of magic, powers, and titles, seeing and understanding Elain the female. No shadows. No duties. No veil. Not Azriel the Spymaster, nor Azriel the shadowsinger. Just Azriel.

None of this is coincidental, of course. SJM didn’t accidentally write such a beautifully poetic circumstance. I think it’s a testament to how important Elain is to Azriel, and how his character development is wholeheartedly tied to her.

Without Elain, he is stagnant. He has been stagnant for over five hundred years.

The vanishing of his shadows, the absence of his need to hide and his need to stay informed about his surroundings, shows just how much peace and quiet she offers him. A kind of peace and quiet I don’t think he has ever known.

I often focus on the Elain part of Elriel, her choice and agency, but the Azriel part is just as beautiful. They fit together like notes in a chord. Because it is quite frankly monumental for the shadowsinger, who has kept everyone at arm’s length for centuries, who has never truly felt he belonged anywhere, to not only let his guard down but to be received the way Elain receives him.

As if he belongs there, unhidden and exposed before her.

When she, who sees the version of Azriel unhidden by shadows, looks at him, she breathes “beautiful,” at the sight of what he’s most insecure about. Whereas others have only ever said “scarred” or “brutalized” about his hands. When she looked up at him on Solstice, he saw someone so “trusting and hopeful and open” he was stunned anyone could look at him like that.

And here’s another beautifully poetic circumstance—because SJM becomes a poet when she writes Elriel:

We all love the image of Azriel, the boy robbed of sunlight, being chosen by Elain, who is basically the sun incarnate—glowing like the sun at dawn, in his eyes. But there’s more to it than that.

How did Feyre describe Azriel when she saw him bathed in sunlight, free of shadows? “More human than I had ever seen him.”

The first time we see Azriel and Elain together after she's Made, he flies her to the townhouse, “no shadows to be seen”, and takes her to the garden, “sunlight bathing them”. Elain experiences beauty again, after the trauma of being Made, when she breathes "beautiful" about his outstretched hand.

Elain, the very embodiment of the sun, who was traumatically robbed of her human life, gets to see and be cared for by the truest, rawest version of Azriel. The version of him that appears almost human.

Because his shadows vanish in her presence. Because he doesn’t need to hide when he’s with her. Because he doesn’t need his shadows to understand her. Because he finally belongs and is safe.

Azriel’s final destination is Elain.

Elain. Elain. Elain. Elain.

Elain.

There’s nothing else for him. No more satisfying or complete resolution of his character arc. She isn’t just part of it—she is his whole character arc.

And together, they fit into each other’s stories like the entwined stems of a flower crown. To me, they are the two most stunning character arcs SJM has ever woven together. Which is why I’m still thinking about them, seven years after I started anticipating Elain’s book. Because I just cannot let them go until they’re finally home.

[sarawritestories]

Love Story (All To Well Chapter 1 Part 1)

Cassian X OC (Rhys' Sister), Eris VanserraX OC Rhys' Sister (Eventually)

Summary: Under the Mountain, Estella, have flash backs to her 50 years in captivity, and losing hope she will ever see her lover. That is until a human girl shows up and give her and her brother Rhysand something they lost decades ago...Hope and in a matter of mere months she is reunited with the love of her life. The General of the Night Court Armies.

Content Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+, dub con, whipping, poisoning, murder (I think this covers it if I missed something please let me know). Longing for loved ones, while in captivity.

A/N: This was going to be extremely long if I didn't break this up in two parts and I really wanted to get something out to you since I had been teasing this so much!

Word Count: 4.1K

All Too Well Masterlist ACOTAR MasterList

Romeo Save Me

“Hello Beautiful,” Amarantha cooed, circling around Rhysand's baby sister, Estella. The raven haired female held her chin high. “Rhysand, you didn't tell me you had a sister.” Estella's eyes glanced over to her brother. If he was panicked he didn't show it.  Amarantha tsked, “Naughty boy, no matter she'll make a fine addition to the court.” Amarantha purred as her eyes grazed the black gown the Princess of the Night Court wore. The silver chains connected the two pieces of fabric at her hips revealing her toned, tanned legs, the neckline dipping to expose her stomach. A tiara of black and purple gems placed upon her head. An outfit she wore in the Court of Nightmares.

Did you know about this? Estella questioned her brother in the part of his mind he kept open for her.

If I did do you think I would have brought you here. Cassian begged me not to. I should have listened.

Amarantha snapped her fingers and the young princess felt hands grip her arms tightly, as fear flooded her system as the dreaded footfalls of the attor came into her line of sight.

Rhys…

I'm here, Little Star.

Estella glanced at the Attor's talon like hand. Faebane. Estella pressed her lips in a tight line, Rhys I'm scared.

She glanced over at his face and found no emotion there, the tick of his jaw the only indication that he was worried. Stay calm. I'm here, Stella. Just breathe.

Before Estella could take in a breath the Attor pinched her nose and instantly she began to struggle in the guards arms. The Attor's smile was sinister and would be the center of the young heir’s nightmare's to come. “Come now, Princess, open for me.

Estella, refused to open her mouth, her piercing blue eyes met the Attor's in pure defiance. Breaking eye contact she looked back to her brother to find Amarantha had wrapped her arms around Rhys pressing his back to her front as if it were a lover's embrace. “Come dear, don't be stubborn, or I may have to punish my new treat here.” She dragged a manicured finger down her brother's exposed chest and Estella maintained eye contact with the self proclaimed High Queen, as she nibbled his ear. To Rhysand's credit he didn't react to her advances he just stared at his Little Star.

Estella's lungs began to burn and her vision began to blacken around the edges and she opened her mouth to take her breath. Wasting no time the Attor poured the liquid down her throat, still pinching her nose as she had no choice but to swallow.

“Wonderful, guards take her away.” Estella watched as she planted a kiss on his cheek another tick in his jaw as they began to haul her away. “Don't worry Rhysand, We'll make sure she is comfortable and well taken care of.”

Before she let the panic settle in her bones she reached out to Rhysand once more; Rhys we need to put up the wards. Keep Velaris safe. Keep him safe. We have to do it before the faebane takes effect.

On my count Rhys voice echoed through there she could feel the beginning of the Faebane taking effect.

1…2…3…

Estella threw out her power to siphon the wards, draining to the dregs and she could hear the pounding of her shields. A familiar presence in the back of her mind.

Cassian she spoke in his mind.

Stella sweetheart, what's going on? His voice sounded distant in her mind as the poison was taking hold and she was being hoisted away.

It'll be okay. I'll be okay. Watch over Velaris for me won't you, General?”  The young heir could feel her power suppressing itself. As if her power was trying to combat the drug coursing through her veins.

No I'm coming to get you his voice roared through Estella's mind though it sounded as though he was talking to her underwater. She fought back tears that were stinging in her eyes.

I love you, Cassie. Then she felt the connection being severed and she allowed herself a few tears escape her eyes as she was ripped away from her home, her family, her lover.

We Were Both Young When I First Saw You

“I don’t want to train.” Estella whined dragging her feet as Rhys held a firm grip on her hand as they approached the camp.

Frustration bubbling over Rhys turned around and gently cupped her cheeks. “My Little Star, I love you, I promised Father, Mother, and Astrea that I would protect you.” Estella fought her flinch at the mentioned, of their dead family members. Rhys tenderly brushed a strand of hair that fell loos from her plait and tucked it behind her pointed ear. “I almost lost you once. I won't let it happen again. Could you please try training with my friends? If you don't like it, then I'll leave it alone. I just need you to try.”

Estella quirked a brow as she stared into his pleading violet eyes. With a roll of her eyes and dramatic sigh she replied, “Promise?”

Rhys smiled and kissed her forehead, “Promise.”

With a slight tilt of her head, Rhys led her to the two Illyrian warriors that were standing at the center of the fighting ring. The young heir had yet to meet her brother's friends but had heard stories about his “brothers.” The two were giants compared to her, both warriors wore seven siphons a piece. The shorthaired one with blue siphons, Estella had seen in passing in Velaris before her brother became High Lord, his shadows were hard to ignore. She had never uttered a word to the Shadowsinger but heard his name whispered by the maids in their home: Azriel.

The warrior with the red siphons had his hair up in a bun, his wings rustled as the wind kissed them. His hazel eyes met her pale blue eyes and gave her a toothy grin that caused her heart to quicken. “Finally nice to formally meet the Princess of Velaris.” His deep voice seeped into her bones and warmth pooled in her belly.

Estella then scrunched her nose, “Don't call me that.”

The long-haired Illyrian smirked stalking forward, causing Estella to crane her neck to hold his pointed gaze. “What would you have me call you, Sweetheart.” Heat warmed her cheeks at the pet name.

“I'll call you a dead male, if you keep staring at my sister like that, you prick.” Azriel snorted at Rhys' response. “Stella, the shameless flirt in front of you is Cassian. The stoic one fighting his laughter is Azriel. I'm sure you've seen him around. Gentlemen, this is Stella.”

Cassian's leather clad hand picked up Estella’s and brought her knuckles to his lips, “A pleasure, Sweetheart, if you're ever tired of big brother Rhysie, come find me and we can play.” Rhys growled, as Cassian gave the young female a wink. She gave him a smile in return, then averted her gaze to focus on anything else.

Maybe training wouldn't be so bad after all.

I Got Tired of Waiting

A hand grazed Estella's waist. Sipping from her goblet staring at the High Queen, wearing the Night Court tiara that she ripped from the Princess' head when they first arrived 49 years ago. A male from the summer court pulled her close and whispered in her ear, “Warm my bed tonight, Angelfish.” His breath was sour, and Estella took a sharp breath as his hand gripped her barely covered ass.

She turned into his touch, breaking her gaze from the queen who was kissing her brother's neck. Placing her hand on the male's bare tanned chest, “It would be my honor.” She gave her best seductive grin as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Bile rose in her throat, a feeling she had grown accustomed to since being there.

The male gripped her ass tighter, “I will retrieve you from your cell when I'm ready for you.” He whispered on her lips as if he was her lover. Another wave of nausea burned her esophagus as he pressed his lips to hers once more. A warm memory of kind Hazel eyes, calloused hands with red siphons atop them, and soft plush lips caressing hers bubbled to the surface. Estella forced the memory back down as the male swatted her bare flesh and walked away.

“Stella dear,” Amarantha's drawl felt like a snake slithering up Estella's spine. The young female met the Queen's gaze, her brother by her side his face a mask of cool indifference. “Come here.” Gritting her teeth the heir of the Night Court approached the dais her chin jutted out, the tiara on her head gleaming with the colors of her court. Trying to keep a semblance of dignity, though Amarantha's insistence that the top that only covered her breast and the gossamer skirt that barely covered her ass made her feel less than.

With the snap of the queen's fingers a male approached with a female their hands linked. Estella bowed, aware that her skirt was revealing more than she wished to the fae behind her. “Yes, your majesty.”

“Rise, dear, I have a gift for you.” Estella rose and the couple with their hands linked together smiled in her direction.

Breathe, Little Star Rhys' voice filler her head, Inhale she breathed in, Exhale she released the breath.

“This couple,” Amarantha's voice bellowed out, “Wishes for someone to join them in their bed this evening. You will go and they will do as they please with you.”

Shock flooded her system, so that was what her role was to be concubine…Cassian's face came to the surface and guilt laced her whole body. He will understand, Stella. We are not in a position to fight this.

Bullshit. The princess shook her head, “I will not, your majesty.” She held her head high. I cannot betray him like this, I will not. I'm sorry, Rhys.

Estella! Rhys scolded

Amarantha sneered, “I don't recall it being a request.”

Estella straightened her spine, “I don't care,” she retorted defiantly. “I will not lay down in someone's bed for their amusement.”

Amarantha rose from her throne her dark crimson skirts draping to the floor similar to blood dripping down a body. The Queen approached and Estella refused to cower. Amarantha approached her mouth upturned into a saccharine grin that appeared the most sinister. “Are you defying my direct orders, Princess?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Very Well, Rhysand, bring me the Ash whip.” Color drained from Estella’s face. Her brother approached whip in hand and his mouth formed into a tight line. “Thank you, now you will give her 10 lashes for her disobedience.” The siblings heads whipped to the evil witch next to them. “Is that going to be a problem, Rhysand. I figured she would learn her lesson best if it was given to her by someone she cares for. Wouldn't you agree?”

Estella then met Rhysand's eyes, “I do, Your Majesty.” Turn around and close your eyes, Little Star. She did as Rhys told her and the crack of the whip wrung out in the entire hall. With each sting of whip against her skin, and whimper that slipped from her mouth, Rhys’ voice rang in her mind.

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so fucking sorry.

By the end Amarantha had ripped the crown from atop of her head, and the couple had carried her to their room and in spite of her bleeding back, had taken her, over and over again, until she passed out from the pain, where hazel eyes and dark long hair greeted her.

Romeo Take Me Somewhere We Can Be Alone

Estella sat up as the male swiped lazy circles around her stomach, “Would you like some tea?” She asked placing her hand on top of his stalling the movements.

The male hummed his eyes glazed from his orgasm. “That would be wonderful, Angelfish.” He gave a lazy smile that the young female returned and rose to gather her clothes and began preparing him a cup of tea. “Amarantha is generous to share you.” He praddled on as Estella placed the kettle over the flame, grabbing her tea mixture she made a few weeks prior. “I know she has her own whore that warms her bed.” Estella clenched her teeth as he kept talking, “Only to give the court his sister. Truly a gift.”

Estella closed her eyes as she schooled her voice in a calm manor, “I am happy to serve  my queen and my court in whatever way is needed.” The words fell to ash on her tongue and tears burned her eyes as the kettle sung to life.  Grabbing the kettle she brought it over to the cup with the tea mixture in it. Pouring the hot water and letting the tea steep for 2 minutes, Estella brought the tea to the male, “Here you go, Darling,” She purred. She slipped into his mind easily his mental shield down, Drink all of it for me. The male did as he was told and she cooed in his ear, “Good boy.” She ran her fingers through his light brown curls as his eyes began to droop.

A half hour went by, and Estella leaned over the male’s face, and found that his breathing had ceased and she could no longer hear his heartbeat. She patted his cheek, “This has been fun, Angelfish.” She got dressed and snuck out of his room and ran right into a finely dressed chest. She looked up and inwardly groaned, “Eris.” Estella tried to step around the Heir of the Autumn court when he stepped in front of her.

He smirked his russet eyes that glimmered with mischief, “Hello, Estella. Tell me how my Little Viper is, today?”

She glared at him, “I thought I told you not to call me that, Princeling.”

Eris grinned, “Well I can’t help myself. Tell me who was your victim today.”

Estella sighed, “No one of importance.”

Eris eyes darkened his fist clenched for a moment, “I highly doubt that.”  

The princess of Night lowered her head slightly, “If I’m not back in my cell, I could be subject to a lashing so if you don’t mind, your highness.”

Eris slid out of her way, “Have a good night, My little Viper.” Estella shivered but moved past the red-haired Prince, without another word. winding the halls to her cell. Not noticing the Autumn prince sneaking into the room she came out of.

She arrived in her cell, and she found Rhysand standing in the middle of it. “Hey, you.” she said as she stepped onto the threshold of her prison.

“Hey, Little Star. How are you faring?” Rhys looked her up and down, assessing for injuries.

“Fine as always brother,” She got jittery and despite needing to put on appearances she hugged him. He wrapped her arms around her tightly. “I’m exhausted Rhys.” She whispered into his chest.

He pressed his hand to the back of her head and rocked her, “I know. I’m so sorry. Not a day goes by where I don’t regret trying to get you home. Or never bringing you to the Hewn City that day.” He whispered into her hair.

I miss them, Rhys. I miss him.

I know you do. I miss them too. “Tomorrow is Calanmai. Amarantha has granted me to leave.” Estella pulled away from her brother to stare at him and he read her face and shook his head speaking into her own, I can’t risk you being hurt because I attempted to escape. I won’t do it. It’s bad enough I have had to hurt you.

I don’t blame you; you know. She whispered in her mind.

I do…She makes me fuck her with your crown on...

Estella stilled at the brashness of his words, “Rhys...”

He hushed her as he kept her in his arms, “It’s okay.”

Will you stay with me tonight?

I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

Rhysie, please. Estella smiled slightly as he sighed.

I can’t deny you anything. Brat.

Rhys led her to the pile of hay in the corner of the cell and laid her down. The princess pressed her cheek against his heartbeat and Rhys began to rub her back. The two siblings sat in silence for a few moments. “Can you play the music for me, Rhys?”

Rhys smiled and kissed her forehead, “Sure thing. Close your eyes.”

Estella closed her eyes, “I love you.”  Music began to play inside her mind, the musicians at the rainbow began to build their symphony and tears welled in her eyes.

Rhys’ voice was strained as he responded, “I love you too. Sleep. I will be here in the morning.”

Estella was beginning to be pulled into slumber when she mumbled, “No one likes a liar, Rhys.” And she fell unconscious to the sounds of her brother chuckling.

Beggin You Please Don’t Go

“You are not leaving this bed!” Cassian pulled her waist dragging her back closer to him the warmth of his bare tattooed chest seeping into her bones. “I don’t need to leave for Windhaven until tomorrow. It’s cruel that Rhys would prevent you from spending the rest of today with me.” He kissed her cheek hips moving down the slope of her neck. “I want to be with my girl.”

Estella giggled as he nibbled her neck, his hands clinging to her waist tightly as if the General of the Night Court Armies were afraid, she would slip from his fingers. “Cass, I need to make an appearance in Hewn City. Apparently, Rhys has been getting shit for it from Keir.”

Cassian turned her to face him. He caressed her cheek gently, “I could care less about Keir. I hate it when you’re there when I can’t be.”

“Because you’re an overprotective bat?” Estella quirked a brow and smirked that the general pushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

He chuckled and kissed her nose, “No, you brat. I just don’t want to be separated from you. Especially when you’re in a place with cruel males that look at you like you’re their next meal.”

She looked laughed, “So an overprotective bat.”

Cassian’s grin was laced with mischief, “Overprotective bat?” He began to tickle the young raven-haired female. Her laughs filled their shared space, “I’ll show you an overprotective bat.” He pinned her back to the mattress and continued her assault on her waist, his fingers tickling her to the point of tears sliding down her eyes. He began pepper kisses over her face picking up her tears.

“Cassian, I yield.” Estella panted and she tapped her hand on his forearm. He stopped and leaned down pressing his forehead to hers. “I yield.” She whispered.

“I can’t help being protective you know.” He whispered in return. There was a long-delayed pause, his eyes growing distant.

Estella growled, “Had I known you wanted Rhys’ attention so bad I would have shifted into him.” Cassian shook his head and flicked her nose and she smiled, “What did he say?”

Cassian sighed as he pressed his lips to hers, “That I can beat the shit out of him when you both come home.”

Estella’s brow furrowed, “I never wanted you two to be at odds, Cass.”

Cassian smiled and interlaced his large hand over hers, “Sweetheart, we have been friends for centuries, he’s stuck with me.” He kissed her nose once more, “Just like you are.” He grinned and she found herself smiling too. “I love that smile of yours.”

She tilted her head, “What else do you love about me?”

Cassian kissed her forehead, “I love your eyes,” He kissed her cheek and Estella closed her eyes. “Your lips.” He pressed his lips to hers. “Your kindness,” He pecked her jaw line, “Your compassion.” His lips moved to her neck, “Your bravery,” moved to the collarbone. “You, Sweetheart. I love you.”

The princess opened her eyes, “I love you too, Cassian.”

And I love you two, as well, but Cassian please get off my sister we must leave soon. Rhys’s voice filled our minds and the two of us laughed as Cassian placed another kiss to her lips.

“I’ll be home before you’re able to miss me, General.” Estella whispered.

Cassian sighed and placed his head in the crook of her neck. “I always miss you, Stella.”

You Were Everything to Me

The human girl was hanging against the wall, her fear flooding her scent. This was the human girl that Rhys had found in Tamlin’s court. Estella had a hard time breathing. As the Attor unleashed another attack on the girl. Rhysand was standing by Amarantha, his face emotionless, and Estella wanted to scream to lash out, to save this girl from the torment. She wrapped her arms around herself, as the screams of the human girl rang out.

Estella released a whimper when a smooth warm hand gripped the female’s hip. The scent of Autumn leaves and cinnamon overtook her senses. His thumb rubbed a circle around her bare hip. “Come to my chambers tonight, Little Viper.” Eris breath grazed her pointed ear.

Estella gritted her teeth, fighting away the tears as the sound of the broken screams rang in her ears while the Attor continued his torment, “Why? Why do you insist on tormenting me, Eris? Mor wasn’t enough for you?”

Eris’ hand stilled, his nose grazed her skin, and her heart raced. “What do you know about that day, really, My Little Viper?” He held her close to him, “I expect you in my chambers when this is done, Estella. I mean, immediately after, no getting those cute little concoctions from your cell first. Or I may let our High Queen know about what you like to do to the males who request your services.” He gripped her hip tighter than her and smirked as a spark of arousal flooded her.  The feeling singed away when he removed his hand, and Estella reluctantly missed the comfort of his touch, as the human girl gave out a gurgled scream, causing the young female’s blood to run cold.

Hours of torment and Estella knew that those screams would haunt her forever. Her bare feet padded through the halls as an Autumn court sentinel led her to the Heir of Autumn’s chambers. When they reached the door Estella bowed her head, “Thank you.” She whispered and knocked on the door.

“Enter,” Eris’s voice muffled. The raven-haired beauty stepped inside, the red gown with a blunging neckline swished at her feet. “Hello, Viper.”

“Prick.” She retorted; her sharp blue eyes met his copper liked ones. “Let’s get this over with.” She began to pull the straps of her gown down when Eris raised his hand.

“I have no interest in sleeping with you Viper.” Eris rose from his chair; his orange vest lay over top his white tunic hugging his frame. His tanned pants tucked into his brown boots that looked as though they were recently shined. His red hair pulled halfway, and Estella couldn’t deny that he was the most beautiful man she had ever encountered, but he was a wild card and lethal and made Estella’s heartbeat erratically when he closed the distance between them. “I would like to keep my life intact thank you.”

Estella swallowed and her voice low, “Then what do you want with me, Princeling?”

Eris didn’t answer, instead his hands gripped hers and he pulled her into an embrace. The female blinked as Eris gripped her tightly. The kind gesture so foreign to her from anyone other than her brother in 50 years and the emotions erupted in her. She gripped the back of his vest and buried her face in his chest and erupted into sobs. Estella had no idea why he was doing this, or how he knew she needed this, but for this moment she allowed herself the comfort of letting out a half a century worth of feelings into his chest. As Eris rested his head atop hers, hand stroking her dark hair. His other hand rubbing her back almost soothingly.

After a few moments Eris picked her upholding her knees and her back and walked her over to the bed and he leaned against the headboard as the Princess of the Night Court sobbed into the chest of the Prince of the Autumn Court. The latter whispered soothing words in her ear and warmed his hands as an extra comfort for the Princess until exhaustion took over and the viper fell asleep in the arms of the fox.

Part 2

Story Tags: @milswrites @eve175 @melsunshine @believinghurts @awkardnerd @historygeekqueen @mischiefmanagers @mybestfriendmademe @cauldronboilmetakemetovelaris @glitterypirateduck @littlestw01f @mal-adaptive-dreams @lilah-asteria @hellodarling1357

[lunajay33]

Drowning in your Love

•🌌❄️🦇💍•

Summary: Being the younger sister of the bat boys had its perks like having access to travel to all the courts as an emissary, but you always had a love for the winter court, but when you go and fall through ice into a frozen lake everything changes when a certain high lord comes along

Pairing: Kallias x f!reader, bat boys x sister

Warning: Drowning

•Masterlist•

Growing up with the three strongest males I know was amazing, Rhysand was my biological brother being decades older than me when I came along he said he’d always protect me, Azriel and Cassian took me in just like they did Rhys and that how my life’s been, surrounded and treated like a princess, eventually when Rhsy came into power I fought to be the emissary of the court, it came with its perks, traveling, socializing

I always favored the winter court, maybe it’s the beautiful blues or the cute snow animals but whenever Rhys needed to send me there I got a thrill

It was Nyx’s birthday coming up and Rhys wanted to take him and Feyre to a little get away to our families villa in the summer court, seeing as he had some duties to attend to in the winter court he decided to send me instead since I had a good relationship with the locals which was rare for outsiders

“Have fun in the summer court little man, when you come back we’ll have our own celebration okay?” I smile as he jumps into my arms, his little wings flapping

“Okay auntie, bring me back those cookies shaped liked snowflakes please” he begs with those adorable puppy eyes

“Of course Angel now go before your father whines again” he giggles and runs off

Taking my to go bag saying goodbye to Azriel and Cassian, I winnow off to the outskirts of the winter court where I usually waited for a guard in a sleigh pulled by a polar bear, but looking around no one was around, thinking maybe they’re late I just wait, and wait, until a few minutes turn into half an hour, to hours now seeing the sun setting I trek through the snow towards the castle, it’s a long walk ahead of me and having to walk through deep snow was no easy task

Eventually the snow breaks to an open frozen lake, sighing exhausted I kneel on the ice, my legs frozen, numb, the weather colder nipping painfully at my face ear and fingers, I let a whine slip as I get back to my feet dragging my feet over the ice, just a little further I chant to myself, just put one foot infront of the other and you’ll be there soon, but my thoughts are broken by a crack and the echoing bubble of the ice under me, I stop feeling the fear of what could happen any second

“KALLIA…..” I try to scream the high lords name hoping he’d sense me somehow but the ice shatters beneath me and I’m taken under dragged around by the painfully freezing currents, with my remaining energy I scratch and claw at the ice above me just praying this wouldn’t be the end, I feel Rhys taping against my mental shield frantic but I was losing the light and my body was slowing….freezing

A voice calls to me as arms wrap around me pushing the water out of my lungs, begging me to wake up, coughing I wake to the water leaving my throat, the familiar fresh crisp scent of the male I’ve always had an affection for pulling me close his warmth a welcome touch compared to numb body

Being winnowed away from the lake right into the castle infront of the fire place

“It hurts” I cry not being able to move, Kallias lays me on the ground using quick magic to change my clothes to dry warm ones, along with drying my skin and hair so I was like new, my my veins and muscle crawled with pain

“Shhhhh it’ll be okay, oh mother above how could I let this happen” I’ve never heard the high lord of winter sound so desperate and scared

Holding me back to his chest he throws a blanket around us, running his hand through my hair

After an hour of being held infront of the fire place I could feel my body healing, but just sitting there against his chest, no words exchanged just me and him and the crackle of the fire soothed that ache

“Thank you Kallias” I sigh placing my hand weakly on his chest, his hand came to lay ontop of mine, his heart pounding underneath

“What happened?” He asks gently

“I waited at the bor…..border for hours…..but no one came I didn’t wanna be a bother so I tried to walk….but then the ice it…it broke I was so cold I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t move…..I’m sorry” I shiver a bit still

“No this is all my fault I forgot the guard was on another mission today I should’ve greeted you myself, when I heard you call my name I knew something was wrong and seeing you under the unconscious I nearly died”

I look up at him admiring the fire illuminating his Snow White hair and the sharp features of his beautifully sculpted face

“You saved me, I’ll forever be indebted to you High Lord” his hand grazed my feathery wings sending shivers through my body, I didn’t have wings like my brothers, mine were rare like angel wings, bright white but being in the illaryian camps some men took it upon themselves to break them, ruining them from flying

“These wings, so beautiful……why have I never seen you fly like your brothers?” He asks gently

“I’ve tried, they were broken by brutes when I was a child, no magic in the world can heal them, I can flutter and still feel them but I’ll never be able to soar through the skies” I could see his features soften even more as he brushed my hair back

“My poor angel, deserves so much more than what’s happened” my heart was pounding so hard I could hardly hear

“You don’t have to be all sweet of me, this wasn’t your fault”

“I felt it you know, from the first time I saw you after under the mountain, you looked like a dream when I came out of that awful cave and you were standing there, you were shinning you were……my angel” my eyes widen as I sit up

“What’re you saying?”

“Why do you think the winter folk love you so unlike the others, even if they don’t know, the magic here senses you’re one of us, you’re mine” at those words I feel warmth pull within my chest straight to him

“And you’re mine but…why didn’t you tell me?” He was silent and I could see the hesitation in his eyes

“I didn’t want to pressure you, I know the winter court doesn’t have a great reputation I just…..wanted you to see me for me not because of the bond” hearing the desperation and slight fear of rejection broke my heart

“My brothers may be a little wary but I’ve always liked you, I’ve had this pull to the winter court….to you, you’re quite a treat on the eyes you know” I smile tracing my finger over his jaw seeing him laugh warmed my body fully

“I could say the same my lady” he leaned down till our lips were nearly touching

“What does this mean now?” I ask as I run my fingers through his icy white hair

“We can take it slow, just me and you until you’re ready”

❄️

My duties in the winter court ended after a week but ever moment with Kallias was a dream, he was gentle and slow with me, just wanting to know more about me, all my interests, my childhood, my family, and just to hold me tight at night nothing more until I’m ready

Gathering my bags and heading home was so hard, as I stood at the threshold of the castle, Kallias brushing his icy fingers over my cheek as he wipes away a stray tear

“I don’t wanna leave Kallias” I sigh as my lip wobbles

“I know my angel but I’ll visit soon remember, your brother is throwing a ball for all the courts families, I hope you’ll be my date?”

“Of course my lord” I see a mischievous spark light in his eyes and a tug through our bond

“If you need me all you need is call and I’ll be there, goodbye my lady” he says as I feel Rhysands magic wrap around me in a black sparkly mist and I’m pulled back to Velaris, standing in the living room of the house of wind, Rhys and Feyre sat on the couch, Cassian and Azriel were stood by the fire place chatting before they saw me, running over and pulling me into a crushing sandwich hug between them

“Feeling you through the bond that night was one of the worst things we’ve ever experienced” cas sighed as they pulled back to check me over

“I’m sorry, it was an accident but…..I was so scared I thought id never see you guys again” I say as Rhys get up to hug me as well

“Thank the mother for Kallias or our dear sister would be a popsicle right now” he said lifting the mood

“How did you get the brooding high lord of winter to save you” Azriel asks curious

“Hey he’s not so bad……trust me” I whisper the last part feeling the blush explode across my face

“Woah woah what was that?” Cassian teases as I try to walk away

“Nothing im just tired” I squeal as I try to run to my room Azriel and Cassian fast in my heels as I jump on the bed wrapping my wings around myself to hide my expressions

“Has our dear sis finally got someone?” They laugh

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, plus I have to get ready for the upcoming ball, I’m thinking a pale blue……thoughts?” They look at eachother with a knowing look then back at me

“You’ll look beautiful” Az smiled as one of his shadows comes and plays around my hair, they’ve always played around me

❄️

That night I can’t fall asleep, use to Kallias holding me and his icy comforting touch, after hours of tossing and turning I hop out of bed and walk down to the living room couch where the fire starts at my entry but it’s a bright blue making me smile, this house has always been a dream to me

‘Kallias? Are you up?’ I say down the bond

‘My angel what are you doing up this late?’

‘Couldn’t sleep….i miss you’ I feel him pull down the bond sending waves of love

‘And I you, I miss your fluffy wings fluttering when you sleep or when you snuggle into me when you’re cold, and how you smell like a vanilla cupcake, I can’t wait to hold you again’

‘I can’t wait to see you in your ball attire’

‘I’ll pick you out the moment I step into the party because you’ll be my bright beautiful angel, now get some sleep I’ll see you tomorrow night’ then the bond was closed

How could anyone think he was hard male, maybe it’s because I’m his mate but I see the way his soul is nothing but loving and wants the best for his court and the ones he cares for

Sleep took me in its grasp and I feel asleep on the couch excited for the moment I see my mate again

The morning came with the shadows tickling my face opening my eyes I see everyone at the table starting breakfast

“Why were you sleeping on the couch is something wrong with your room?” Rhys asked as I sat next to him

“Oh ummm I was just up late, too excited for the ball”

“Speaking of which do you have a date for the festivities tonight?” Feyre asks as she takes a bite of her toast

“Maybe he said he’d be wait for me”

“I can’t wait to meet the man that’s got my little sis blushing so much, your wings a ruffling a lot more lately” I smack Rhys in the arm

“Rhys stop you’re embarrassing me” I said making everyone laugh

The day moved by oh so slowly as Nuala and Cerridwen help me with my makeup and hair, light foundation with a pale blue eye shadow, with silver sparkles, my hair done half up held together with a silver clip with bright diamonds

“You look beautiful y/n why the pale blue you’ve always picked shades of brown?” Nuala asks as she brings in my dress

“Just….a special event” I smile as they help tie me into the most beautiful dress I’ve ever worn, shimmery pale blue silk that flows behind me, with a built in corset the cerridwen pulls and ties up excetuating the top of my dress with silver and white off the shoulder bands

“Oh wow you both did amazing I feel like a princess!” The dress complimented my white wings perfectly then a knock came from my door and in came my brothers

“Wow look at you, who ever this date is will be in awe, now come on before we’re late for our own ball” Cassian smiles as he holds his arm out for me as Rhys winnowed us to the hall

Az and Cassian walk in as Rhys and I pause outside the doors

“Well come on then”

“Rhys…..I’m nervous”

“Why you’ve been looking forward to this for a while now”

“I know just anxious, I don’t want to let anyone down”

“Hey we’re here for a fun time nothing political, now come your mystery date awaits” he says encouragingly

I take a deep breath and walk in the bustle of everyone laughing and having fun settled my nerves, I scan the crowd when I feel a pull in my chest to the center of the dance floor, there stop my mate, dressed in a grey suit with white accents and a box in his hand

I make my way to him a path clearing until I got to him until we were chest to chest

“Like I remember from the first time I saw you, my beautiful angel sent just for me, this color was made for you my dear” he states as his eyes burn with desire his hand gently grazing my inner wing making me gasp

“I’ve got you a special gift for you” he smiles hand me the box, excited I open it and inside is a silver tiara with baby blue diamonds

“Kallias it’s beautiful” he picks it up placing it atop my head

“There now you look like my high lady” my heart leaps at his words

“High lady?”

“Not quite yet but eventually I’ll ask you again to lead the winter court along side me, when you’re ready, now shall I have this dance?” He asks holding out his hand, I place mine in his and he whisks me around the dance floor making a little snow flurry above us adding little shimmering snowflakes, like we were in our own world

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, he is breath taking, I’ve always belonged with him he’s what I’ve been missing

After dancing for three songs we retire to a corner where he leans on the wall next to me

“Do you have to leave tonight? Maybe you can stay with me” I say lacing my fingers with his

“And what would your dear brothers say about me sharing a bed with their sweet sister?” He smirks

“They’re not brutes you know, we could tell them you know, I want people to know I’m yours”

“If that’s what you want then we can, I just want you to be happy” a cough breaks our trance turning to see my whole family standing there watching us

“Something you’d like to tell us missy?” Mor asks

“Everyone you already know Kallias, he’s……we….”

“She’s my mate” Kallias laughs at my stammering the others eyes widening

“Mate? I thought you were just having a fling with someone” Cassian adds

“No this is serious, he all I’ve ever wanted”

“You better treat her right” Rhys adds sending a dagger glare

“Always”

❄️

After the ball we retire to my room, pulling him in laughing as I close the door pushing him down against the bed as I straddle his lap

“Well what’s gotten into you Angel?”

“I just missed you is all”

I took an apple off the night stand the house must have placed handing it to him

“Are you sure you want to accept?”

“Definitely”

The night is filled with gentle touches, loving thrusts making me see stars, trying no to scream was a task but at the end of it all I laid my head on his chest with his arms holding me tightly

“I love you Kallias”

“I love you more my angel sent from above”

[readychilledwine]

hiii can i request cassian with single mom reader? she’s his mate, but she has a child from a previous relationship vibes

Girl Dad Cass is back. ❤️ just in a different situation.

To Have and To Hold

Summary - Cassian and reader are finally saying their vows after a few years of courting, but there's other vows Cassian finds just as important.

Warning - fluff? Cassian being mushy?

A/n - I wanted to leave the reader and her daughter as undescriptive as possible. I really need to try a boy dad cassian, but he just screams girl dad energy. Ps- peep the cute divider from @firefly-graphics tons of cute options

Cassian had seen the two of plenty of times. You two were constantly walking around the Rainbow, or in book stores, or shopping.

He never saw a male with you, though, and if his wife and daughter were as pretty as you two, you would have never been unaccompanied. He arrived to Feyre's studio one day to pick Nyx up from class. The little heir was playing with your daughter, beaming so brightly about being around another little one his age. He couldn't stop his curious nature and asked. He found out from Feyre who you were, that your daughter had no father, just a coward of a male who had packed up and ran as soon as he found out protection failed.

That is when you started noticing Cassian around Velaris more. He'd start coming to the bakery you and your daughter loved. Hed be at the children's book reading done by Gwyn at the library her and her mate had opened. He'd be helping Feyre with her art classes.

One day, you were running late picking up your daughter from her art classes. You were at a shift at one of the many pleasure halls and had to help the other bar mistress break up a nasty fight between a male you'd later learn was Azriel and an idiot who'd made a comment about forcing you into his bed. A few stitches gently put into the illyrian males cheek later, and you finally arrived with him at your side. Your daughter and Cassian were deep into a conversation. Her little hands and arms were moving so quickly as you figured out slowly that they were discussing the possibility of Helion and the Day Court hiding unicorns. 

That was the beginning of this beautiful journey. She had begged Cassian to join you two for dinner and snacks that next day, and you couldn't say no to her bright eyes and wide smile, writing your address on a piece of parchment and handing it to the Illyrian male. You joked now that Cassian courted her first. He took her flying long before he ever took you, took her out for ice cream once a week, took her to little dinners and play dates with Nyx. He began joining you two for meals twice a week. Sometimes a breakfast before flying her to school lessons. Sometimes a surprise picnic lunch on a weekend. 

It took a full 3 months of this for your guard to drop. He finally asked you out when it did. "Just the two of us," he had said, and with childcare already planned out by him, you said yes. He had thought of everything. Arriving with Azriel early so your daughter could be taken to the Riverhouse, bringing you beautiful flowers from the garden planted by the High Lady's sister, and even a pick up time for your daughter that night. 

That became the new routine. Once a week, Cassian would take you out, then your daughter would get her Cassian night the next evening. A year later, he had moved you two into the House of Wind where he ensured your daughter had a playroom filled with toys, another little study room with books for her lessons, and her own bedroom with a big girl bed and fluffy pink sheets.

She fell for Cassian as hard as you had. And now, 3 years later, that all felt like a fading memory as Feyre and Gywn helped you lace up the pretty off white gown you were about to marry him in. A soft knock had the three of you turning towards the door as Rhys strolled in, picking at his black suit with a soft smile. 

"I was sent to find the little princess. Is she ready?" As if your daughter knew she was being summoned, she ran into the room, throwing herself into Rhys open arms as he lifted her. She looked so beautiful and grown in her soft white dress that glittered like fresh snow, her long hair curled and pinned with a flower crown and gems. "Cassian just wants a few moments with her before the big ceremony. Is that okay?" You rose a brow but nodded. "Let's go see Cass, princess."

You looked at Gwyn and then Feyre, both of them had small smiles on their faces. "I cannot hide this from you," Feyre finally said. "Come on, but we have to be very quiet." The two of them walked you to a little area that had been set up without your knowledge. A floral archway with purple wisteria hanging from it came into view, and centered under that archway, glowing up the dying light of the setting sun, was your daughter, both of her little hands swallowed by Cassian's large ones.

He was on his knees in front of her, sitting back on his calves. A priestess stood near them, speaking to them about the importance of family, regardless of it being by blood, how it is always the male of the house's duty to protect those he loves, and how it is a father's duty to ensure his daughter is taught how a male should treat her. "Cassian, is there anything you'd like to say to (daughter's name)?"

Cassian cleared his throat and nodded. "I want you to know I'm not just marrying your momma today because I love her. I'm marrying her because I love you. I love your little nose," he placed a gentle kiss on her nose.  "I love your giggle," he tickled her sides making her bell-like laugher sing into the air. "I love our adventures, I love playing your knight in shining armor saving you from the dragon's keep or storming castles in your honor. I love bragging about you to my family constantly."

He paused and wiped a tear from her cheeks. "I know I'm not your dad, babygirl, but I want you to know I'll always love you like you're mine. I'll protect you with my life. I'll love you until my heart stops, and even then, I will love you when I find you in the next world and lifetime." A little I love you interrupted his speech, making Cassian's voice break for the next question. "Is it okay if I start calling you my daughter?"  You watched as her curls bounced with how aggressively she was nodding. You watched as she threw herself into Cassian's arms, and he lifted her, holding her against his chest before letting the priestess know they were ready.

Feyre quickly winnowed you back to the dressing room, fixing the makeup the tears you didn't know you were crying ruined. Rhys returned to the room, seconds later, "I hate to ruin you having a flower girl, but she refuses to leave Cassian's side. We are all ready if you are." He offered Feyre his arm and the two left to take their places as witnesses. 

Gwyn left with a soft kiss placed on top of your head, "Azriel and I will be the cute ones right next to where you and Cass will be standing!"

You paused at the doors to the ceremony chamber. Taking a few stilling breaths, you nodded for the doors to be opened, and you began the walk. The room was beautiful. Strings of fae lights echoed the stars. Candles adding to the illumination of the room, setting a soft warm glow to everything. You couldn't look at anything but Cassian in stunned silence, though. His jaw and face had fallen in shock, tears forming in his eyes. Your face mirrored his and tears started to genuinely fall. 

The scent of it hit Rhysand first. He started laughing silently. It made sense now. All of this made sense now. He told Azriel to take your daughter and he did instantly. 

Cassian moved to you, crushing you to his chest as soon as you were within reach. "Mate," he whispered softly. "I can't believe you're my mate."

"Cassian, babe, we're making a scene."

"It's our wedding. We can make as big of a scene as we want." You two didn't notice your daughter wiggling out of Azriel's arms until both of you were being pulled to the priestess by her little hands. 

"Hurry up and make him my daddy." She demanded before returning to Azriel with her arms up. "Tisk tisk momma." She looked at you, blinking her eyes as she stomped her foot like sass had become her first language.

You held your arms up in defeat. "Alright alright. So demanding," you turned to the High Priestess. "Could you marry me to this male so he can be my daughter's daddy?"

Cassian's eyes were watering again. He sniffled lightly before turning to Azriel to take your daughter back and holding her tight against his side. "General, are you ready?" He nodded, kissing her temple as she leaned into his shoulder. "We are gathered here tonight to watch the union of two souls," the words faded as soon as Cassian took your hand in his, you were focused solely on him, on that new string sparkling between you two, and the happy tears your daughter was crying as she held her dad. 

You wiped one of her tears gently with your free hand after the ceremony when the three of you were alone under that floral arch where he had made his vows to her. "Are you happy, babygirl?"

Cassian still held her tight, refusing to yield her to anyone since she had called him daddy. "Why wouldn't I be? I have my mommy, my daddy, and there's cake."

"Mmmm there is cake." Cassian agreed. "Specifically your favorite chocolate cake with a layer of fudge. Too bad Uncle Az is going to eat it all before you get to." She didn't realize the glint in his eyes was playful, that he was teasing her. 

"Siege the castle, daddy. Bring me my cake."

Cassian seemed to relish the word as it continued to fall from her mouth. Settling her on his back as she pointed to the room, a loud reception party was taking place in. "As my princess wishes." He took off running through the open doors and straight to the cake table Azriel and Rhys were currently admiring. The winged males jumped back, hands held up as your daughter demanded they handed over their plates of cake and sweets.

You looked up to the stars in their all knowing and twinkling glory and two simple words fell from your lips, "Thank you."

[thestrangeblob]

a little list of canon evidence supporting most elriel theories <3

1. elain and the possibility of her training to be a spy

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away. (...) No one will know.”

My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

She (feyre) nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s (elain) got you beat for secret-keeping."

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not … Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood the gift he possessed.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

2. elain wearing azriel's color (cobalt blue)

Elain rasped, “Nice to meet you,” before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor. ... She’d (elain) covered her nightgown with a silk shawl of palest blue, her fingers grappling into the fabric as she held herself. ... Elain seemed to realize it, too. She peered down at herself, at the simple blue gown she wore.  ... But Elain wrapped her own blue cloak around herself, ... “Is your father healing?” I added the cobalt of Azriel’s Siphons to the orange and mixed until a rich brown appeared. ... Azriel’s Siphons flashed, a sprawling shield of cobalt locking over Rhysand’s, his breathing just as heavy as my mate’s ... Az held Cassian’s stare for a moment, cobalt Siphons flickering, and then nodded.

3. elain's mating bond to lucien might be wrong

when elain was turned and mated:

Faster than any of us could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel’s chest. The ash bolt was coated in bloodbane that the King of Hybern claimed flowed where he willed it. ... “Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten. I twisted—only to have the king’s guards grab me from behind. Rhys was instantly there, but Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in. (I didn't leave out any lines between these two paragraphs... so why did the poison sink deeper into az when the king says to put elain into the cauldron???)

azriel's mate behaviour to elain:

Azriel smiled faintly. ‘Would you like me to show you the garden?’ But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once. ... Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports ... The two Illyrians paused their inspection of me long enough to note my sisters finishing up breakfast, Nesta in a pale gray gown that brought out the steel in her eyes, Elain in dusty pink. Both males went a bit still.” ... ‘Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.’ ‘I can help her,’ said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing from his fingers as he extended a hand.” ... The ancient healer jerked her chin toward Lucien. “See what he can do. If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate. The mating bond. It is a bridge between souls.” She pointed at Lucien as she saw herself out. “Try sitting down with her. Just talking—sensing. See what you pick up. But don’t push.” (what we see azriel do time and again) “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need ...” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.” ... “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”

the description of feysand:

But the bond, the bridge between us... it was a howling void.

the description of elriel:

The only bridge of connection ... that knife.

the description of elucien:

“It felt ... strange,” Elain breathed. “Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib.”

finally:

‘There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly sometimes the bond is nothing more than some…preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that.’”

4. azriel's shadows DO like elain:

In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More ... human than I had ever seen him. ... “What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. ... Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. ... But tonight, here in the dark and quiet, with no one to see…He pulled the small velvet box from the shadows around him. Opened it for her. 

5. elriel's aesthetic as light and dark

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection ... that knife.

if y'all want any more cold hard canon to back up any other elriel theories/arguments/takes comment it on this post and I'll add it to the list LMAO

good day and good night y'all stay safe our there<33

[thelov3lybookworm]

Ice Cream (part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: the shadow needs to be put on timeout.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1821

Warnings: literally just fluff. azzie being a shy baby again🥹ALSO SHADOWS BEING MENACES BWAHAHAHAA💀 az is like an old asian parent tired of his kids bs 😭

A/n: ooof i love the shadows omg there such a pain in az's lil ass lmaoo. the one smartass shadow in the first part comes back to steal the spotlight and to make az's life miserable by its jabs lol🥹

ALSO THIS IS THE LAST PART IN THIS SERIES IM SO HAPPY OML I LOVED WRITING THIS 🥹😭

anyways, enjoyyy🥹🤭

(ps. the idea for shadows writing yn's name on az was given by @ayme301 hehe so thank youuuu 🥹❣️)

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Azriel had a routine. He always did.

Wake up, train, have something to eat, send reports to Rhys, analyse more reports, go onto missions if he had any, and train some more. It was always the same variation of the same few things.

But for a month now, his routine had a new addition. Having her on his mind every moment of every day.

His mind kept wandering to the colour of her eyes, the texture of her hair, the slight tilt to her lips when she found something he did funny. The way her quick wit and subtle hints of her boldness showed through her cold exterior as she slowly began to let her guard down around him, the way her eyes began to light up ever so lightly when she saw him as the two spent more and more time together.

She had become an important part of his routine, and he did not have a single problem with it, even as it put strain on him to finish up his work sooner so no one would suspect he was getting distracted from his duty.

Having her on his mind constantly, it was hard to focus on what his family was doing as they all sat in a booth at Rita’s, because he was too busy wondering what Y/n might be doing tonight. Maybe she was at her home, reading and sipping tea. Maybe she was out with her friends. Maybe she was by herself, wandering through the countless shops displaying items irresistible to anyone.

Maybe she was thinking of him.

The last thought had sudden heat travelling to Azriel’s cheeks, and he willed his shadows to cover him in case his family took notice of it as he lifted his almost empty cup of the alcoholic beverage Cassian had shoved into his hands to his lips.

Azriel looked up, glancing out of the window near the booth his family occupied, hoping that if Y/n really was out, she would walk by. It would certainly be a treat to his eyes and a soothing distraction from the overstimulation that was the inner circle.

"Az?"

He blinked, glancing over to Feyre, who stared at Az with furrowed brows. "Yes?"

She stared at him for a moment, a moment in which Azriel quickly looked over everyone present over the table. All their eyes were fixed on him, some confused, some curious. "We asked if you’re in for the game?"

Az straightened, setting his glass on the table and wrapped his arms around his chest. "Sure."

Cassian lifted a brow. "Do you even know what we’re playing?" Azriel’s cheeks flushed at the knowing look in his brother’s eyes, and he glanced down at his lap, clearing his throat and waiting for a shadow to fill him in on what was going on.

Master needs to learn to pay attention.

Azriel turned his head slightly to scowl at the particular shadow, and it bobbed away happily, as if unaware of his glare. But thankfully, another shadow floated up to his ear to whisper.

Truth or drink. They wish to probe and do your work.

The shadow that had initially hurried away from Azriel slithered back up his neck.

Be nosy, that is.

Azriel would have glared had he not had to turn back to his family. He nodded slightly, clearing his throat. "Truth or drink. I’m in."

Cassian leaned back, shooting a look that irked Azriel to Rhysand, who leaned forward on the table with a shit eating grin. "Let’s start with you then, brother. Who is keeping you so distracted and bothered all the time?"

Azriel clenched his jaw, releasing a breath through his nose, contemplating whether it was worth telling his family and bringing himself to his doom at their gossiping hands.

Before he could settle on his choice to drink, his shadows had already made the decision.

"Y…" Mor squinted, her brows furrowed, and Azriel’s blood ran cold when he heard the first few syllables of her name. "Y/n?"

Azriel stared at Mor, who smirked, her eyes fixed on Azriel’s forehead as she leaned back. Azriel looked around at all his friends, wondering what the hell was going on and how they knew Y/n’s name. And then a shadow moved closer to his ear.

Y/n.

Y/n Y/n Y/n.

Azriel reeled in his frustration at the less than helpful chanting, but then the same shadow hit his chin, prompting him to lift it, and his eyes landed on her.

She wore a simple black dress, the thing covering everything and leaving everything up to imagination with the high neck and long sleeves and skirts. Her hair was open, and she looked just as beautiful as she always did.

And she was looking right at him, her lips spread in a smile as she stood right behind Cassian, seemingly having stood up from the booth next to them.

In the back of his mind, Azriel knew his family was looking at him in concern when he said nothing, but he couldn’t care less as he stared at that smile, the one he had seen for the first time ever.

She is beautiful.

She never smiled more than the slight tilts to her lips, and maybe it was for the good, because if he had seen that smile earlier, he might already be married right now. She was so mesmerising, it was a miracle Azriel hadn’t asked her to be his on the first ever outing to the ice cream shop the two had been to. But if he had seen her offer him that smile, he would have gone too far in love, he knew.

Master needs to stop drooling, he looks like a baby.

And ugly.

Azriel almost turned to scowl, but he did not want to miss even a moment of the smile on her face. But that also led him to the question. Why was she smiling?

She giggled lightly, and he only knew because he saw her throat muscles move as she lifted a finger to her forehead, then pointed at him.

And then Azriel realised.

He quickly lifted his hand to his head, whipping away the shadow that would not stop acting like a smartass teenager. After he was sure the shadow was gone and no longer using his forehead as some sort of writing surface to announce to the world his feelings for a certain bookstore owner, he swallowed and stood, trying to excuse himself.

But Cassian turned, looking right at Y/n. "Are you Y/n?"

The eyes Azriel always found himself lost in lifted to meet his own hazel ones, her cheeks turning a deeper shade as she tried to stop smiling. Azriel could see the blush on her face, even in the dim lighting, and he thanked the mother for his eyesight.

Y/n not having her guard up at all times was not a sight everyone was blessed to witness.

She nodded lightly, glancing around at the rest of Azriel’s friends before giving him a small wave. She turned and walked out after her friends, who laughed among themselves. She did shoot him a glance before she walked out, but then she was gone.

Azriel turned, trying to see if there was any way he could escape his confines, having been pushed to sit between the window and Feyre. And when he didn’t, he climbed onto the seat and stepped behind her, then Rhysand, whispering apologies as he hopped onto the ground and broke into a sprint, hoping to catch up to Y/n.

His family tried to call after him, but Azriel was a male on a mission, and a very skilled one at that.

He stepped out into the cold night air, his eyes landing on Y/n waving at her friends as they went the opposite direction. He swallowed, hoping she would not mind his presence and walked towards her. She probably felt his proximity, as when she turned, she only smiled at him and gestured for him to walk with her.

A shadow floated close to Azriel to inform him of the way his family was watching him like hawks from the window they had sat next to, and when Azriel turned to look, sure enough, Cassian and feyre scrambled away, while Rhysand, Mor and Nesta looked like they were trying too hard to act nonchalant.

"They really are nosy." Y/n’s soft voice reached Azriel, and he turned to offer her an exasperated look.

"And I deal with it everyday."

She laughed, gently slipping her hand to hold his arm. Instantly, his pulse was galloping.

Master is no better than a schoolboy.

Azriel shot a glare to the darned shadow, wondering if there was a chance he could put it in timeout.

"So… I keep you distracted, huh?" Y/n spoke after a moment, making Azriel’s ears go warm.

"I…"

She laughed, leaning her head against his shoulder as the two walked the rest of the way in silence. Azriel only heard her laugh ring in his ears, wishing and praying that he would be blessed enough by the mother to hear the beautiful sound for the rest of his life.

Only once the two were at her apartment doors did she pull away and step forward, towards the entrance before turning to him, around an arms length of distance between the two.

Too much.

"So?"

Azriel folded his hands at his back, smiling slightly. "So?"

She leaned back against the wall, humming. "When am I meeting the family then?"

His breath hitched. "You… want to?"

She lifted a brow. "You don’t?"

Azriel shook his head, looking down at his boots. "I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and I know they can be a lot sometimes."

He heard her move closer to him, lifting his eyes to meet her gaze once both her hands had reached out to hold one of his. "I think I am ready, Az."

Az. She called me Az.

He leaned his head closer to her. "What do I get if I take you to meet them?"

She blinked at him. "Oh, I don’t know, maybe you get to tell everyone you are courting me? And you can stop having to sneak around to meet me?"

He grinned, hearing those words spoken into the space between them as he touched his forehead to hers. "Hmm… not enough. I want more."

She snorted. "And what is that?"

"Maybe you take me out to the ice cream shop again." He reached up to touch her cheek, his eyes fixated on the way her skin seemed to contrast with his.

"And this time, we will get a huge bucket of mint chocolate, and share it. Like a real couple."

She smiled again, rolling onto her tiptoes to press her lips to his cheek.

"Mint chocolate it is."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @serenescureforboredom @cassie6392 @harrystylesfan2686

@olives-main @hijabi-desi-bookworm @dnfhascorruptedme

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21

@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady

@lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @garden-of-runar @girlswithimagination

@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights

@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy

@mellowmusings @dnfhascorruptedme @fuckingsimp4azriel

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

@stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh

@st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium

@fandomarchiveilyd @nickishadow139 @angel-graces-world-of-chaos @okaytrashpanda

@celestialgilb @donnadiddadog

[pit-and-the-pen]

I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 5

This is a short but not so sweet chapter. I’m sorry in advance for what I’m about to do <3

Warnings: so much angst, mild torture and violence, injury to characters (let me know if I missed anything)

This is the first chapter I’ll put a big spoiler warning on, it follows the events at the end of A Court of Mist and Fury. I would HIGHLY suggest not reading this if you haven’t finished that book.

WC:4.5k

Previous Parts: [Prologue] [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

It all went wrong so quickly. So quickly, I knew there was never any chance it would have gone right. We woke before the sun had risen. My mind instantly screamed to leave the moment I saw the bone white castle in front of us. But instead, we followed Feyre. Deeper and deeper into the castle.The cauldron urging her to find it. 

Cassian followed nearly a flight ahead of us, clearing the few guards with ease. If only I knew why it had been so easy. 

And then I saw it. It filled the room with something so dark, I didn’t have a name for it. 

“Hurry.” Was all Mor said as Feyre approached it almost timidly. 

“Listen.” Azriel whispered. I felt it then. I thought it had been my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. But as I took a deep breath, it seemed to be coming from the cauldron itself. Feyre walked towards it, eyes clouded and unfocused. Mor cried Feyre’s name as the other female reached into her cloak, hands grabbing onto the pieces of the book. I realized seconds too late as did Mor. Feyre laid the pieces atop one another. The world did not explode around us. A good omen, or simply holding its breath for something worse. I did not know. I watched as Feyre’s lips formed words I could not hear. Then the small trail of red streaked down her face. Azriel’s hands reached out so fast I almost missed it until I sensed the new addition in the room. Jurian. I took a step back, closing the distance between Mor and Cassian. Azriel retreated back a few paces as well. Putting himself between Feyre and the resurrected human. Rhys was instantly at her side. Hissing words at Jurian. The male only seemed to brush them off. I tugged on the sleeve of Cassian’s leather. A silent plea for us to run the hell away. The fog would not roll from my fingers. Frozen behind some new, unknown force. But I stayed silent, not taking my eyes off of my family as they spoke with Jurian. 

“I was sent to distract you-” The joy in those few words was enough to send my mind into a panic. I surged forward to pull them back to the stairs. “You won’t leave this castle alive.” 

Jurian tilted his head as he eyed up Rhys, my proximity to him.

“Do you know what it was like? To be forced to watch everything, to be alive in that ring. Not able to sleep or breathe, or feel.” 

“It must not have been so bad if you joined her master.” 

Rhys’ response seemed to be sucked from his chest. And I followed his eyeline and felt the air leave my lungs. The familiar face of the King of Hybern soaking us all in. 

“I’m almost disappointed you didn’t see the trap, it was oh so…easy.” 

The king of Hybern spoke, distracting all of us just long enough that no one could stop Jurian as he drove an ash arrow through Azriel’s chest. A twisted, gnarled scream ripped through my chest as I saw Azriel fall to his knees. His precious wings drooped to the ground. I scrambled over to his side before a pair of invisible hands wrapped around me, pinning me in place. A cry left my lips as I saw Rhys and Cassian struggle to haul Azriel to his feet.As the force released me, Mor’s support at my side was the sole reason I was standing. 

We marched up the stairs behind the King of Hybern. Soft sobs racked through my whole body as Mor all but carried me up the steps. My eyes did not leave Azriel’s frame. Holding my breath at every passing second, waiting for the moment Hybern would release the poison into his heart. We didn’t stop moving until we entered the throne room

The throne room ripped me from my body, catapulting me back into that vile place under the mountain. Except it was not Amarantha that was waiting for us. It was something more horrifying altogether as I watched Lucien and Tamlin step out of the shadows. 

My legs finally gave out. Mor’s hand wrapping under my arm to stop my knees from colliding with the hard marble floor. Feyre was shaking her head from side to side, like she could shake the sight from her memory. “Tamlin…” I started to take a step before a force pushed me onto my back. A snarl ripped from Cassian's chest as I yelped. My breath getting knocked out of me in a loud whoosh. I could only sit and watch as Tamlin’s green eyes swept greedily over Feyre’s figure, taking in the Illyrian leathers she was dressed in. It seemed it was only Lucien’s hand on Tamlin’s shoulder that stopped him from lunging at her. 

“What have you done?” Her voice a cold whisper. 

“It was easy really. I return you to your rightful place, and Tamlin, in exchange, would allow my shoulders to pass through his court and use it as a base when we brought down that stupid wall.” Pure panic flowed through me as I fought against Hyben’s power to try to get to Feyre, to put myself between Feyre and the High Lord of the Spring Court. I could only manage to sit up with my hands resting beside me. 

“Tamlin…please.” I panted at the effort it took to speak the words. “Don’t do this.” I searched for any other options. “Take me instead. Leave her here.” Despite the arrow through his chest, Azriel growled lowly at my words. For the first time since we arrived, Tamlin looked at me. 

“That’s what you think this is all about?” He gave a single sharp chuckle. “This isn’t about revenge for you leaving me. This is only about returning what was stolen from me.” Feyre tensed as he said her name, a command to obey in his tone. Lucien’s metal eye was whirling around in his head as he spoke Tamlin’s name. A hint of doubt and fear in his voice. A tone I had never heard from the red haired male. It felt like the world was moving in slow motion around me. My mind desperately trying to figure out how to get out of this, how to rip out that arrow from Azriel’s chest, how to get Tamlin as far away from my family as I possibly could. 

“The last part of my plan is simple. Break the bond between you two.” He pointed a bony finger to my brother then Feyre. I felt every muscle in Rhy’s body tense beside me. To his credit, he didn’t lunge at the king. The whole room took a collective breath. 

“No.” Feyre’s voice broke around the single word. I could hear the way her heart broke in that single syllable. 

“Please.” I said around a sob. 

Hybern turned his cold eyes to me. “How else is Tamlin supposed to have his bride? He can’t have Feyre dear running off to a different court every month. We saw what happened last time.” 

“I told you not to come for me that I lef-”

“We all saw that you weren’t okay. He took advantage of that, turned you against your home, against me. He stole you from me. 

“She was going to die in that house.” Anger flared through me for the first time since we arrived. 

“Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.” He spit at me, not taking his eyes off of Feyre. 

“Don’t you dare-” 

“I’ll come with you.” I swore I felt my heart stop beating. “If you leave them alone. Let them go.” 

“You’d let them- Feyre, they’re monsters.” Tamlin almost pleaded. His voice sickly sweet. Despite his words, he crept closer to Feyre, hand outstretched. He lunged at the spot where Feyre had been standing not a second before. She was now standing across the room. I felt no satisfaction in the way Rhys’ fist made contact with Tamlin’s face, knocking the male off of his feet. Feyre was at Rhys’ side in an instant. The unmistakable combined scent filling the air. Tamlin went deathly still. A look I had never seen crossed the High Lords face as Hybern confirmed what he had already realized. 

“I’m sorry.” her tone honest. 

More soldiers filled the room and I lost the last bit of control I had as I saw the color drain even further from Azriel’s face. 

“You fucking traitor. Do you know what he is going to do with that cauldron, do to all of us?” I could not stop the tears that tracked down my face. 

“There are many, many things I’m going to do with it.” He snapped and the Cauldron appeared in the room. “Starting with this.” Fire flickered in Feyre’s psalm at the sight.

“There she is. Made from all seven courts. Did you really plan to destroy the cauldron? You could rule the world with that book by your side.” He noted her silence, tilting his head with a sickening smile. “You’ll tell me soon enough. Your master made a bargain and you don’t want to know what happens to those who break their word” 

“If you take me from my mate, from my home. I will find a way to destroy you. You, your whole fucking court and everything you love.” 

“Feyre, please. Just come with us.” Lucien begged Feyre. The king’s laugh echoed through the throne room. 

“That won’t be necessary. Because you will find it in your best interest to behave, Feyre Archeron.” The four queens filled into the room but their guards did not stop as they hauled into two small figures. I heard the cry that left Feyre as we all saw the faces of her sisters and thrown at the feet of the King of Hybern. 

Feyre did not move, she wasn’t breathing. She could only stare blankly at her sisters. Elain who was sobbing even through the gag in her mouth and Nesta who yowled like a rabid animal. “If you touch them I will end you all.”

“Do you hear that,” The king of Hybern purred to the queens. “Slaughtering and destroying, that’s all they are capable of. Ending life. While I plan to give it. Now will you let me show you what the cauldron can do?”

“Please. I’m proof, Jurian is proof. I’ll give you whatever you want, just leave them out of it.” Feyre pleaded, the King just gave her a wicked smile. 

“Just show us.” A bored drone from the eldest queen. 

“Don’t look so down, Feyre. Isn’t this what you told our dear friend Ianthe about. How you would miss your sisters terribly. Now you don’t have to. Now you three can stay young together.” 

“Don’t pl-” 

A force knocked the wind out of Feyre.

“Bring them here.”

And then the room exploded. Feyre exploded around us. It felt like drowning and burning and when you come in on a cold day to a hot fire. My skin buzzed. Under that magic, a scream, Cassian’s scream pierced through me. I felt the force of it knock me off my feet once more. And then it was gone. And Azriel was crouched over me. Mor around Cassian. Cassian. One look at his wings and I felt like I was going to be sick. The room broke into chaos. Mor and Rhys both lunged for the king. Tamlin going for Feyre. And I could do nothing more than cling to the male next to me. Azriel let out a cry of pain as Mor pulled out a dagger from her belt. I froze. Mor looked back to him and let her knife fall to the floor. Mor stumbled to Azriel’s other side. 

“Start with the pretty one first.” Feyre only moved an inch before Azriel was writhing in my hold. My hand went to wipe away the strands of hair that stuck to his face. 

“You’ll be okay. It’s okay.” I whispered against his forehead. I could feel his sweat against my skin and my stomach rolled. I closed my eyes tight, praying to whatever god was still listening that this was all going to be a dream. Azriel’s hand resting on mine made me open my eyes, tears streaming down my face at the streaks of blood his hand left on mine. 

This was no dream and I could do nothing but watch as the guards struggled with Elain, pulling her up to the mouth of the cauldron. Nesta looked like she wished nothing more than to rip everyone's throat out with her bare hands. More guards joined her side to hold her back. 

“Stop this. We didn’t agree to this.” Tamlin called out, an unfamiliar horror etched into his face. Jaw and shoulders tight. When the guards continued dragging Elain to the cauldron, Tamlin pounced. Even I cried out as he was slammed to the ground by that invisible force. He strained but did not rise. 

With a blood curdling scream that drowned out Feyre’s last plea, we watched Elain get thrown into the almost black water of the cauldron. Seconds passed like hours, she hadn’t resurfaced after a few moments and both Feyre and Nesta were holding their breath. Eyes locked on the horror in front of them. Suddenly, the cauldron tipped over and Elain’s limp body tumbled to the floor. Feyre let out a sob as Elain gasped for air. I was ashamed of the relief that flowed through me. Her skin had a slight shimmer to it, ears already elongating. It worked. 

Elain was already shivering, her nightgown soaked through. 

“So it works?” One of the queens spoke, if I had been able to move I would have punched her in her perfect face. 

“The next one if you please.” Hybern spoke to the guards holding Nesta. In all my years, I had never seen someone fight as hard as Nesta did in those moments. She almost slipped out of the guards hold three times before they managed to get her to the edge of the cauldron. Before she could be dunked, I watched as she pointed a long finger at Hybern. A curse, a promise that he will pay for this moment until he stopped breathing. Nesta spent longer under than Elain did, each second passing by slower than the next. Feyre vomited as the time passed. Rhys scrambled to her side.  Nesta was dumped onto the floor beside her sister. Just like her sister, she was faintly glowing. But there was something different, unsettling. I couldn’t place my finger on it but Nesta felt like she was more than fae as she clutched her sister. 

Nesta shoved Lucien off, shoved the cloak he had wrapped around her shivering body and replaced it with her arms. Sobbing her sister's name into her hair. She rocked her like a babe. 

Between my own sobs I almost missed it. That one whispered sentence from Lucien. Mate. I never hated him more than I did right at this moment. I let my mind fill with what I would do to the both of them when we left this room. Imagined the blood was not Azriel’s but Tamlin’s or Lucien’s. That it was them screaming and not my family as it was torn apart in front of me. 

Feyre collapsed to the ground so suddenly it pulled me from my violent thoughts. Light so blinding I buried my head into Azriel’s shoulder. My hand blindly reached to cover his eyes. I sensed the light fading and peaked my head up enough to see Feyre on the ground, clutching and tearing at her head. Then she looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time. She pushed Rhys away from her and scrambled towards Tamlin. This has to be a sick dream. 

“What did you do to me?” Feyre cried out, clinging to Tamlin like he wasn’t the reason we were in this mess. 

“How’d you do it Feyre?” Rhys’ voice wrapped around the words like a siren song. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening around me until Mor gasped. 

“What did you do to that girl?” 

“Break the bond.” Feyre sniffled. Crawling a pace towards the king of Hybern. The small flicker of her eyes back to Rhys made it come crashing down on me. She was not leaving with us. She was going to go with Tamlin. I watched as the scene unfolded around me. I cried harder. Azriel’s hand tightened on my own. They would pay for all of this, one day. I would make sure of that myself. They were-

Rhys’ scream made every hair on my body stand up. Feyre’s own screamed wove in with his and I covered my ear not pressed into Azriel’s chest with my free hand. Unable to hear the sounds around me any longer. I rocked back and forth, desperately trying to calm down. But the sobs continued as the screams did. I couldn’t take this. Hearing my family's agony was going to kill me, I was certain. Then it all went quiet. A haunting quiet that left my ears ringing. 

Tamlin ripped off the glove on Feyre’s left hand and found nothing but perfectly smooth skin. I clutched onto my brother's jacket as he crawled over to us. He wrapped his arms around our group as best as he could. 

“You’re free to go, Rhysand. His poison is gone. Shame about the wings.” He taunted my brother. I grabbed at his jacket so hard my hands shook. Fiery pain at the small motion. I turned my eyes to Feyre, to this brave and beautiful girl who once again had sacrificed everything for the people I loved. I let my thank you echo in my head, roaring in the mess that was left. It was in that split second that Mor winnowed next to the huddled newly-fae females. And winnowed away. Rhys winnowing us at the same moment. 

I couldn’t breathe. So afraid to even move. I laid on the floor until Rhys pulled me up to my feet, my unsteady legs nearly buckling under me. My eyes looked around, not believing what they saw. The warm wood of the walls in our townhome. Rhys’ arms wrapped around me, pull.ing me tight against him. My arms hung limply at my side. I felt like I was floating away, like it had been me that was pulled into that inky black water and sent adrift. 

“Stay with me.” Rhys whispered into my hair. I fought through the haze in my head and eyes, clawing my way back into the very real room I was now standing in. My muscles locked tight, an ice cold feeling traveling down my spine. A cry left my lips and I pulled myself out of my brother's arms. Caring about nothing else but Azriel suddenly. 

I crouched over him, pulling his head into my lap. The ash arrow still sticking out of him

 “I’m sorry.” I whispered as I ripped the arrow out of his chest. “Where is Majda?” I hissed to my brother. His face was pale. 

“She’s on her way, he’ll be o-”

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence Rhys.” Azriel was getting paler by the second. Eyes fully closed. I leaned my forehead against his. “Please. Please, I can’t lose you.” I whispered, not caring if the others heard. I was shaking all over but I couldn’t let go of him. 

Amren walked into the room, freezing as her eyes swept over all of us. 

“Where is she?” Her quicksilver eyes flaring with something dangerous. Rhys didn’t respond, when none of us did, she simply asked again. That fire behind her eyes growing ever brighter. 

“It was a trap. Tamlin sold out his court for Hybern’s use and Ianthe sold out Feyre’s sisters. He wanted to prove…prove the cauldron could make people immortal. Make them fae. We could do nothing. We were out of options.” Mor responded. Voice heavy with the words, like she was speaking with a mouth full of rocks. 

“Rhysand” Amren started. Blind rage flared through me at the accusation in those words, 

“She knew we couldn’t do anything. She pretended like I had made her do it all, leaving spring, staying here, the bond. She said she would go with them if they stopped. So we walked out of there freely because she stayed behind.”

“The bond?” 

“Hybern broke it.” I croaked. The words like sandpaper in my throat. 

“That’s impossible. That magic simply does not exist.”

“No it doesn’t.” Rhys spoke clearly. My eyes darted to his. That pain was real, the heartbreak for his mate could not be faked. But it was not because of the bond breaking. Because if it could not be broken then Feyre…

“Go get her. Now.” Amren hissed at my brother. 

“No.” The room trembled under the weight of a high lord’s command. Even Amren balked at him. “She is a spy, with a tie to me. So she will stay in Spring where she will see Hyberns’ soldiers, learn their plans. And so will we.”

“She isn’t a spy.

“No. She’s my mate. And she is the High Lady of the Night Court. 

“What?” Amren and Mor spoke at the same time. 

“If they removed her other glove, they would have seen the mark from last night, the ink swirled around her wrist from when I swore her in as my High Lady. My equal in every way that matters.” 

I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to break more tonight. Hearing the sure way Rhys spoke, the decision they had made in a split second together. He would never have allowed this on his own, but Feyre. The cunning girl came up with this in seconds. When Azriel’s life was hanging by a thread. She knew she would have to return to that vile place to save my family, her family. I sobbed, already tired of the sound. But for the first time tonight, there was a shard of hope poking at the edges of all the pain. Worming it’s way to the surface. But I felt it, that itch under my skin. The warm thoughts were already being dragged under by the simmering rage I felt. The rage that was echoed in my brother. The stiffness in his shoulders, his hands clenched white knuckles by his sides. The muscles in his jaw jumped slightly, eyes far away as he drifted far away for a second. Only a second before I felt the room tremble again. A deep sigh in the ground beneath us. My skin crawled in response. That surge that threatened to swallow us both whole and take the house with it.

I unwrapped myself from Azriel’s side, standing on sure legs this time. And crossed the room to my brother. I held out an expectant hand. He only stared for a few moments before he grabbed it. Winnowing us out of the house. I exploded the moment Rhys appeared back in the world. Inky blackness thick enough to hold poured out from me in waves. This was not sadness, no, it was pure rage. Rage at a male who thought he owned Feyre, could own anyone. He might hide behind polished clothing and excuses of good intentions but I could see him for the monster he truly was. Rhys stayed by my side as I fell apart. And when I saw that last cloud of black ink fade into nothing, Rhys collapsed with the force of an earthquake. The ground splitting around us. Cracks formed so deep they seemed to never end. He let out a roar that sent animals and birds running away from us. I didn’t try to comfort him. I had no words that could fix this, nothing that would bring Feyre back to us. So I sat and watched as his heart poured out from him in the only way he could. Screams broke off into sobs and that was my undoing. I sank down next to him, wrapping my arms so tightly around him I was worried if he could even breathe. Worried he wouldn’t push me away if he couldn’t.

“We’ll get her back.” I spoke against his answering swirl of darkness. “We got her out once. We can do it again. We Will do it again.” I pulled back enough to see his face. 

“And we will plan, and we will fight. And you will eat. You will breathe. And you will live knowing we will get her back. And I will live knowing that I am going to help you end them all for what they put our family through.” My own power trickled out. Nothing more than vapor before it faded away. And this time I felt it. That final death knell of the powers I had clung to so dearly. 

“And once she’s back. We go to war.” I whispered, a stray tear rolling down my face as I pushed the hope of ever using my powers again far away. There was no forgiveness in my heart. Swept away when I saw the pain in Feyre’s face. No. I did not forgive Tamlin for what had happened today. And as I tried to forget the screams as they danced around my head. I know, deep down, I never would. 

Next part: Chapter 6

Taglist: @nickishadow139 @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx @durgenyx @i-am-infinite @mariahoedt @acourtofbatboydreams @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @nocasdatsgay

[yiiyiiwrites]

| If I must be your ruin |

Summary: before the buildings ruin, Cassian knew that your love would fall the same but he was willing to fight that fate with his mate. (Some dad Cassian and uncle Azriel/Rhys too)

Cassian x summer court reader (forbidden romance) [acotar masterlist]

Before under the mountain:

Sneaking Cassian into the summer court because you prefer your silk sheets and comfy bed.

Cassian loves waking up to you in his arms, the salty breeze filtering through the open window. Veiled curtains fluttering around the bed frame, dangling shells clinking together and creating a song he hopes he never forgets.

Takes a while for both of you to take the relationship serious as you’re both forbidden from stepping in each other’s courts.

Swimming together during the full moon, taking a small boat out into the summer sea and diving from the deck.

That one time Cassian got caught and you had to flirt with the guards so that he could escape. You never heard the end of it, but it did lead to great make up sex. He teases you for it all the time.

Your older brothers don’t like Cassian because of what he did.

“It was one building! It was ugly anyways, did us all a favour.”

You’re also part of the reason for the buildings ruin, but Cassian has never mentioned it.

“I would tear down buildings for you.”

Meeting on the boundary of summer and winter, Cassian can’t step over the invisible court line. (After being caught previously it’s too risky for him and you).

So you launch into his arms not caring at the abrupt temperature change. He opens his jacket and pulls you into a crushing hug to keep you warm.

Slipping a shell in his pocket, so that he’s reminded of a piece of you when he puts his hands in there to warm up in the cold. (He doesn’t tell you that he got a seamstress to sew a shell into the lining of his pocket so that you’re always with him).

Sending Cassian a blood ruby when he’s angered you. He ends up with a collection of different cut red gems, that you both laugh about now. You only get more angry if he forgets the reason of why you sent them.

You made him a necklace with discarded fishing netting and a shard of sea glass you found washed ashore.

“If I must be your ruin,” Cassian said, hooking his finger under your chin and raising your gaze to his. “Then I will also be your salvation.”

Secret wedding, where he creates you a ring out of the first blood ruby you sent him (the only reason you sent it was because it was the exact same shade as his siphons, he got in a lot of trouble with Rhys too).

Your mating ceremony is halfway between both of your courts in dawn. Only you and cassian with a priestess that is your closet friend.

Your dress pearlescent silk, fluttering layers in the morning breeze. Pearls weaved into the waves of your hair.

“In this life and the next, my love.”

After under the mountain:

You’ve never seen Cassian under the mountain and that you are glad of.

The only thing you have of Cassian’s is a dagger, blood ruby set in the scabbard. Your ring is hidden away in the Dawn court with your priestess friend.

You’re convinced that Rhysand can scent his friend merged with yours. He even studied the dagger, but did not push any further.

It wasn’t your mate that ended up being your ruin, it was the things you had to do in order to survive.

Fifty years of yearning and you meet him back in dawn. Granted it took you a couple of years of freedom till you reached out to him. Closed yourself up in summer to try and rid yourself of the trauma.

Cassian bought you a small estate that looks out to the sea in the dawn court. Your shells and rubies decorating the driftwood mantelpiece.

Your mate is hesitant the first few visits as if he’s worried about scaring a wild animal. As if you’re made of glass.

You seek refuge in the dawn court and wait for your mates visits. The first person he brings to your shared home is Feyre. He knows that she’ll be the most understanding and will treat you with kindness.

The nightmares are few and far between when Cassian is there to hold you.

The sound of the sea crashing along the shore soothes your mind and helps you stay grounded. Your mate knows you too well.

When you do eventually get invited to Velaris, you’re surprised to see the small shells scattered around his bedroom. The ribbon from your mating ceremony in the drawer beside his bed.

The different ornate chests full of rubies tucked away at the back of his wardrobe.

Your family:

When you have children they are named after precious stones. The first a daughter Ruby, as fiery as the threat of summer and has drawn blood from her father (accidentally).

Ruby is a forced to be reckoned with when she gets older. “Well it’s not that bad, dad totalled a whole building,” Ruby smirked, eyes sliding to Feyre who bit back a laugh. “Who told you that?!” It’s turns out Rhys was the one that let that slip.

Ruby has no interest in fighting in the mountains, thinks her father and Azriel are brutes (but loves them anyways). She does however want to join the Valkyries. Very fond of Nesta and loves romance books too. Debates with Cassian on how they can help Illyrian women.

Cassian teaching Ruby to fly, she’s reluctant to learn but he takes a more softer approach and asks feyre to help out too.

Obsessed with Pegasus in the day court that she begs you to take her there whenever you have diplomatic work.

Asks Rhys to put in a good word with Helion so that she can study in the day courts library. Ruby sends Cassian war books that she’s read and add sticky tabs for parts she thinks her dad will like. Sends you precious stones with a note. “Whatever you do, do not call any of my future siblings after this one.”

A son Jett, who is so protective of his siblings and his mother when you fall pregnant with a third one. He doesn’t give too much away, his stony face unmoving as if he’s spent too much time with uncle Azriel enjoying the quiet (which he doesn’t get at home thanks to ruby).

Jett’s the only one that wants to train in the Illyrian mountains like his father and uncles. Grew up playing with a wooden sword before he even learnt to fight.

Cassian doesn’t let Jett go to the Illyrian mountains till he’s trained to a high standard. Knows his son will be a target for people to prove they are better than him. So wants to give him a fighting chance before he’s left to his own devices.

Play fights with Rhys as a kid and gets in a good few swipes before you and Feyre are telling them both to calm down.

Jett asking Cassian to tell him of his adventures putting away monsters in the prison before bed.

Azriel is the one to teach Jett to fly, Cassian too nervous as he falls each time. Jett can’t do it with too many distractions, values silence and figuring it out himself instead of people telling him what to do. He ends up going out alone and mastering it himself…which earns him a scolding from you and Cassian.

Pearl, she loves the ocean that her first steps were paddling in the shallow waves at the beach. Free spirited and loves to fish with Feyre and Rhys. Whether it be looking for shells or sea glass or searching for a crab in the rock pools.

Pearl is the only one without wings, you tell her it’s so that she can swim and follow the mermaids in the ocean. She’s a spitting image of you as a child and it’s like you’re meeting yourself again for the first time.

Pearl has no spatial awareness when it comes to wings. She’s always getting swatted by her siblings wings and she likes to play a game where she hides behind Cassian’s wings, all that can be heard is her giggles.

Azriel took Pearl flying because he didn’t want her to miss out when her siblings were learning to fly (he may have dropped her few times as he mentioned how many times Jett fell whilst learning…he always caught her maybe even dropped her again just to hear her little giggles).

His girls braiding his hair and adding little shells and strands of string. Cassian definitely learns how to do their hair too. He even massages your hair before he braids yours too and the girls whine asking him to do that to them as they undo the ribbon holding their braids.

You live in Dawn during winter and spring, as you can’t handle the cold weather. Summer and autumn in Velaris, a top floor apartment in the art district overlooking a lake. It’s smaller than your home in dawn, but you spend more time outside on the rooftop patio than inside.

Your children visiting your brothers in Summer during the hottest time of the year so that they can see where you grew up.

Ruby rejects her mate, an Illyrian brute that doesn’t value her intellect or cares for her opinion. She falls in love with a scholar from the day court and lives out the rest of her life there. She doesn’t visit you and cassian for a few years thinking that you are not happy with the rejection as she knows that mates are sacred. But you make it known that her happiness is all that matters.

Jett’s mate, a peregryne in the aerial legion. They meet across the battle field during war and spend years trying to find each other. Nothing but letters going back and forth whilst they fulfil their respective duties.

Pearl meets her mate in the Summer court. A way finder, he was pulling a fishing net up in the middle of the sea when he saw Pearl swimming by.

Hope you liked….I thought about this way too much after thinking of it ages ago :)

[sapphicmsmarvel]

feysand x reader: the afterglow

set after getting together but you don't necessarily have to read that to understand this one!

under the cut bc its over 1K!

tw: a bit of anxiety

-After you guys officially mated, you knew the world was gonna take it weirdly. 

-There’s never been a triad bond that would be so well known. 

-To be honest, you were mostly nervous about how the inner circle would react. 

-You knew they loved the three of you dearly. But you also weren’t stupid and knew this was unconventional. You also knew you were freaking over nothing but alas, you were still anxious about it. 

-In the middle of the frenzy, Rhysand sent a message saying that you had accepted the triad bond and you three would be gone for a bit. 

-When you guys came back, it was a party. Mor had hung up a banner that said “congratulations!” There was a buffet table full of foods that Elain had clearly worked so hard over. 

-Cassian was…collecting coins from everyone?

“I bet that you’d be the first to make the first move.” He explained. 

Technically, he wasn’t wrong. It was you yelling at them that made the first move. 

“Did everyone know before we did?” you asked as he collected a few coins from Azriel. 

“Well, Rhysie isn’t subtle. Feyre was oblivious to your struggle just like she was to Rhysie-“

“Hey!” Feyre pouted. “You aren’t wrong, but hey!” 

You kissed her cheek. “And you!” Cassian pointed to you. “Are affectionate with everybody! Do you know how hard it was to convince Feyre and Rhysand that you actually liked them like that!” 

“I’m so sorry my reluctance to fuck our friends made your life harder.” You said dryly. 

He scoffed, “better be!” 

“Quit yelling at my wives, Cassian.” Rhysand said darkly, the alpha-asshole coming out. 

“Here we go.” Feyre muttered. 

“Made it two minutes this time.” Mor added. 

“Instead of two seconds.” Amren finished. 

Cassian gave you a smile that you had you wincing, because you knew what was coming. “Hey Y/N, want a ri-“ He didn’t get to finish because of the punch to his stomach from Rhys. 

“Welcome to the family.” Mor nudged you. “Even though you were already in.” 

“I’m just relieved I don't have to see Y/N pining anymore.” Nesta said from the doorframe. “Over twenty years of that bullshit.” 

You should’ve hit her harder when you were kids. 

Azriel, Lucien and Elain, like the sweethearts they were, just smiled without a sarcastic comment. 

-Your next worry was Nyx. How would you fit into his life? Would you be a stepmom or another mom? 

-You easily loved him more than anything, that was even before being mated to his parents. Now? Somehow you loved him more. 

-You were holding him one day when Rhysand sat down next to you on the porch swing. You were just enjoying the breeze with your-well it felt wrong to call him your son but you were his parents' wife? 

“How are two of my favorite living beings?” Rhysand said kissing you. 

“Good but what kind of greeting is that?” You chuckled. 

“I know he’s a person, but it’s weird to call him that. He’ll always be my baby.” He cooed and brushed back Nyx’s tuft of hair. 

Rhysand sat next to you, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. You leaned as much as you felt comfortable with Nyx in your arms. You didn’t like not being on your guard when you were holding him. He was precious. 

Rhysand kissed your temple, you felt peace. You were just missing one vital part. Feyre usually came home from the studio around this time. Rhysand and you had accidentally made it a tradition to sit out on the porch and wait for her. 

“Do you want kids?” Rhysand asked. “You don't have to answer now.” 

“I mean, I kinda have one now. Kind of late to say no.” You giggled and gestured to Nyx. “He may not be biologically mine. And I can be a stepmom or stay Auntie. Whatever’s the most comfortable with you and Fey. I don't want to overstep.” 

“Would….would you be one of his moms?” Rhys asked, you could tell he was incredibly nervous. 

“I would be honored.” You whispered, your gaze never leaving the baby's sleeping face. 

You missed the look of utter adoration that Rhys shot your way. 

Pretty soon, Feyre joined you guys on the porch coming home in paint splattered overalls and a paint stained face. She was glowing, you could tell how happy that studio made her. It made you incredibly happy. 

She leaned down to kiss Nyx, then you, then Rhys who pouted about being last. But he was okay with it, he loved your family so incredibly much. It kind of scared him what he’d do to protect it. 

Later that night, Feyre came up behind you in the mirror as you got ready for bed. She pressed her head against yours. Your cheeks lined up perfectly and were smushed together. Her arms were wrapped around your waist. 

“You are his mother, if that’s what you want to be”. She whispered. “I may have birthed him, but I would be honored to share the mom spot with you.”

“Fey, I just did my skincare, you can’t make me cry like this.” You said, your voice wobbly. She squeezed you tighter in response, her nose scrunching with her closed mouth smile, her eyes half closed and lips scrunched slightly. She kissed your temple and went back to Rhys. 

That was that. Rhysand was dad/daddy, Feyre was mom/mommy and you were mama. 

-The next thing on your list was how the court would see it. The Inner Circle doesn’t give a shit (which was to be expected) but the Court of Nightmares? That’s where you were worried. 

They didn’t take to Feyre that well, then Nyx. Now you. 

Rhys called you out on your bullshit one night while all of you were getting ready for bed. 

“What’s up with you? You’re more nervous going to the Court of Nightmares than you were before.”

“Well, we weren’t mated then.” You said back, you tried to avoid being snippy but your stress levels were high. 

Clearly, he knew you were being snarky because he gave you a raised brow and held his hands up in surrender. You sighed. “Ugh, baby I’m sorry.” You said. You set down your hair brush and crawled into his arms. 

His chest shook with restrained laughter. “Love, you’re allowed to be nervous-“ He was cut off by Feyre coming into the room. 

“Ooh, are we snuggling?” Feyre said. And with the excitement of a five year old she catapulted into bed.  

The three of you bounced and laughed. “I’m nervous about going to the Court of Nightmares.” You admitted, playing with a string on the blanket to avoid looking at Feyre. You could avoid Rhys’ gaze easily since you were sitting with your head laid against his chest and in between his legs. 

“Why?” Feyre brushed your hair behind your ears. 

“Because…” You made a helpless gesture. “It's really scary.”

“You’ve been there before?” Feyre asked. 

“Yeah well I wasn’t fucking the High Lord and Lady.” You sighed. 

“Okay, you aren’t just fucking us.” Rhysand squeezed your hip. “You’re our wife. What label do you want them to know you as? Consort?-“ 

“I’ll rip your dick off.” You growled. “Consorts aren’t treated with the respect they deserve.”

“Agreed.” He said. 

“Do you want political power?” Feyre asked with zero judgment. 

“You know that’s not why I married you two.” You grumbled. 

“But would you want it?” Rhysand pushed. His hands roaming over your skin, he knew how much the contact helped your anxiety. 

You shrugged. “It’d be a massive adjustment. However….I’d love to help people and actually have the power to do so. But there’s…”

“Hm?” Feyre continued to stroke your palm. 

“This is gonna sound bad but I don't mean it to be.”

Feyre smiled and based on the pulsing down the bond, Rhys was too. So you continued. “There’s no room for me to help rule.”

“Who says?” Feyre challenged. 

You sputtered and Rhys decided to take you out of your misery. 

“You know, there also wasn’t such a thing as High Lady when Feyre came into our lives.” He stroked down your back, his hands ending at your hips. 

“And?” You asked. 

“I rewrote that rule, and I’ll rewrite it again for you to be in it. You are our equal in every way and I refuse to let you be reduced to a ‘consort’ that is, if you want to be a High Lady.”

And that was it. The next day, the day you were supposed to head to the Court of Nightmares, you delayed it. Much to the confusion of your Inner Circle. 

You were sworn in as a second High Lady. 

How the Inner Circle found out was quite funny. Az had a feeling, Nesta and the Valkyries were happy for you. Mor and Amren just looked at Rhys with a secret High Lady? Again! Cassian used it as an excuse to celebrate that night so the group could ditch their Court of Nightmares persona. 

When Azriel introduced you, he said, “Rise for your High Lord Rhysand, Highy Lady Feyre and High Lady Y/N.”

The three of you walked in, you in the middle, Rhysand and Feyre on either side of you. 

You felt beautiful, respected. Even though you knew Keir would be a problem. 

You were alright with those problems, as long as you had your family with you.