#Rhodey the Raccoon

[romanoffshouse]

"Whatever it takes"

– Steve Rogers in Avengers: Endgame

[aeterna-auroral-avenger]

Avengers: Infinity's End

Two chapters today, gang, because the first is short, and I have little patience to share something I'm proud of LOL

Chapter 13 - The Hulk in Shirts [AO3 link]

Summary: Tony needs to rest, and Rory needs a team. So Rory decides to seek out another big brain to help in the operation. And she's surprised to find big brain and big brawn have turned into a more complete package deal.

Chapter 14 - They're Still Out There

Summary: The Guardians may have found where Thanos has been hiding, and a key detail has been revealed. Because of this detail, a particular heist idea is shut down by Rory herself. And it kills her to do it too.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

And if I said that even though the fat jokes in Endgame were cheap and lazy writing it was actually kinda Real because there will always be people who react to physical manifestations of mental illness in that way. But Thor got through it anyway. And he was still worthy. And I take a little comfort in the fact that none of the OG 6 made fun of him. They were all genuinely worried. Most everyone was genuinely worried. What if I said that? People are always gonna be mean but you can be ok anyway.

[antvnger]

((Aha! Great choice! Lol I’m surprised no one had asked me that yet.

ENTER ROCKET AND NEBULA IN THEIR SHIP, THE LANDING OF WHICH BLOWS LANG’S LUNCH AWAY

ROCKET [to Lang:] Thou humie—where is the one I seek, big green?

LANG The kitchen, if mine understanding’s right. The ship is wondrous, large and striking both.

NEBULA [in radio:] Be careful, Rhodey, on thy swift reentry, for there’s an idiot in th’landing zone.

ENTER JAMES RHODES IN HIS WAR MACHINE SUIT, DESCENDING SUDDENLY FROM THE AIR

LANG By heaven, most astonishing and startling!

RHODES How art thou, reg’lar-sizèd man?

BANNER [to Lang:] —I see thy lunch hath been gigantic’ly disturb’d— Share thou my tacos. ‘Tis just recompense for thinking I could do more than I could, transforming thee once more into infanthood.

The Bard’s Avengers

@ultimategamernerd @aintinacage

[agentem]

When Rhodey was taken

Okay so I don't know for sure when Rhodey was taken. No one does. Anyone who says they know is lying. The show didn't say explicitly.

But I have seen two points of "evidence" that I want to talk about.

Firstly, people are saying he did not wear leg braces in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier so it had to be before that. This is technically not true.

Rhodey does have the light up feature of the braces UNDER his pants in FatWS. Is it highly suspect that the braces got markedly better AFTER Tony (who developed them) died? Yes. But, again, technically he did have them.

If you enlarge this image, you can see the light underneath his pants in this screencap from TFATWS. It does sort of look like they forgot he was paralyzed and went back and added light spots in post. But they are there.

Secondly, people are saying when he saves Rocket in Endgame he is bleeding and the blood is red so he can't be a Skrull. (Their blood is purple.)

Rhodey bleeding in Endgame

I am still not sure how the Skrull bleeding works. I thought they had to be dead to change back, initially. But then Sonya later just shoots the Skrull in her office and he changes partially and bleeds purple.

People have also said Raava would not continue the ruse of "being paralyzed" at this point if she thought she was going to die.

I'm not sure. I don't know that the rules of Skrull blood or the rules of Rhodey's leg braces have been properly defined. So here's some "evidence", your guess is as good as mine.

[sarahowritesostucky]

I love Nat and Rhodey giving their yeses with attitude, and meanwhile my boy scout Steve over here be raising his hand and totally focused and serious paying close attention, 'cause this could be an important question.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME dir. Joe & Anthony Russo (2019)

[girll-almightty]

the what if series would’ve been so much more interesting if there wasn’t a major plot line going on with the watcher and *sighs* captain carter.

i wish they just gave us more and more hypotheticals and nothing more.

what if rocket raccoon was antman’s sidekick?

what if wanda died instead of pietro?

what if the other 50% was blipped?

what if spiderman was team cap?

what if rhodey had a crush on pepper?

what if the avengers were a rock band?

what if stucky?

what if we never heard of peggy carter ever again?

[fun-incorrect-quotes]

If the AOS team was in Endgame

Steve tightens his shield, glaring at Thanos, ready to get back into the fight, when suddenly his comm link crackles to life.

Steve shakes his head, not believing what he's hearing. Suddenly, the link is clear as day.

"On your left."

He turns to see a portal, and out walks the king of Wakanda and in flies Sam Wilson. More portals appear, and everyone has come back. Stephen Strange walks out of the final portal and Wong quickly finds him.

"Is that everyone?" Strange asks

"What, you wanted more?!" Wong says indignantly.

As Scott Lang crashes through the rubble, releasing Rocket Raccoon, Smart Hulk, and Rhodey, Steves comm link crackles to life once again.

"I was sad to see we didn't get an invite. Mind if we crash the party?"

Captain America's eyes widen. That voice belonged to a dead man. He raises his hand up to the comm. "Coulson?"

"Yeah, and some friends."

Suddenly the ground starts to shake, and a woman seems to levitate safely to the ground. "It's clear here, AC." She says through the comm. A loud whirring is heard from above, and a helicarrier descends on the battleground.

"You didn't think we'd miss this did you Cap?" Coulson said, climbing down from the helicarrier.

"Truth be told I think we all thought you were dead."

"I knew he was still alive." Tony said

"Let's cut the chit-chat, we've got half a universe to save." Agent Mackenzie says gruffly.

"Avengers! Assemble."

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Time Heist

Part 2 of Return of The Hunter, part 3 probably coming soon. I've been piecing the events of the film via watching movie clips so if there's any timeline inaccuracies please let me know.

Summary: You join the rest of the surviving heroes on the time heist.

"Such…an inspiring team to work with." You cautiously pick your words, knowing that you probably can't best some of the people in this room in combat. Still, you make no attempt to mask your distaste at the assembled group, causing Steve to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

"We've won with worse odds before." The Captain smiles but you simply roll your eyes.

"Very reassuring, Captain." You take a seat, letting yourself half slide off it. "Now let's get on with the briefing, shall we? We haven't much time."

Tony looks at Steve, raising an eyebrow and Steve whispers something your ears can't catch. Curse the lack of superhuman hearing, why couldn't Hydra enhance that after enhancing your sense of sight and smell? The blue woman glowers at you and you simply smile back, a challenge she immediately jumps at until Rhodey pulls her back.

"Come on, he isn't worth it, and we need him for this mission."

The alien woman glares at you one last time before sitting back down with a huff. Rhodey gives you a look of displeasure but you brush it off, amused. Well this should be fun. The raccoon creature comes over, pointing at your twin pistols tucked snugly in their holsters.

"Are those —"

"Touch them and you're dead. I know how to skin rodents." You bare your teeth, hand drifting to one of the many knives tucked into your belt when you feel a hand rest on your arm.

"Relax, Y/N. We're supposed to work together as allies, not enemies. Try not to provoke them." Natasha smiles, but her grip on your arm tightens. The raccoon mutters something about not being a raccoon before hopping onto one of the chairs.

"Try," you smirk, but relent anyways. She's right, it wouldn't do you any good to antagonise those whom you potentially will have to work with, even if it annoys you to no end. You turn and listen to the briefing, taking note of those you're been partnered up with and make a face when you realise where you've been assigned.

"Really? Avengers Tower 2012? When Hydra was undercover in Shield?" You spit, furious. "I want nothing to do with that damn organisation, not anymore!"

"Hunter —"

"Shut it, Captain! I've spent so long trying to run away from that wretched past, and now you want me to march back into it like nothing happened?"

"You only left Hydra after the Chitauri invasion, that makes you the perfect undercover agent to slip in and get the scepter from Hydra. They won't suspect a thing." Tony points out and you ground your teeth in frustration.

"Tony's right, Hunter. If it brings you any comfort, I'll be there to ensure they can't do anything if things go south." Steve pats you on the shoulder. "I promised Buck I'd keep you safe, no matter what, and I intend to keep that promise."

You swallow at the mention of his name, your heart aching as your mind recalls the last words on his lips and you sigh. "Fine, but you better not screw up. This is the one time I'll willingly become a part of Hydra again."

"Thank you, Hunter. It means a lot." Steve smiles brightly but you push past him, picking up the uniform that's been prepared. Your heart thunders, you really don't like the prospect of becoming the Hunter again but if it means bringing Bucky back…well…you'll do it. He means everything to you, and you'll do anything to see him again. Even embracing the blood-soaked identity you hate.

A thumb brushes over the white material and you laugh. What irony, to don white when you'll be returning to your bloodstained past. Maybe that's what the red highlight is for. On the bright side, there's no need to don your Hunter gear, being seen in civilian garb will be more believable and that's one less thing to remind you of the past.

Slipping the suit on, you refrain from joining in on their little team bonding exercise while standing in the circle with them. You might be going along on this mission with them to save the world, but it doesn't mean you're part of their little ragtag group. You just so happen to need to work with them, and you're going to use them until they outlive their usefulness.

"Come on, no need to be so grouchy, wolf cub. We're about to save the world, smile a little." Tony flashes you one of his signature grins and you scowl back.

"I'll think about smiling once we've reversed the Snap, but not before."

"You're just such a ball of sunshine aren't you?"

"This ball of sunshine is going to —"

"Calm down you two. This is it, get your heads in the game. We don't have second chances, remember that." Steve pushes the both of you apart with a shake of his head. "Work together, then after we save the world you can go back to bickering, alright?"

"After we save the world I don't want to see his ugly mug ever again," you hiss, whirling around to take your place on the platform. "Hurry it up, I'd rather not waste precious time."

The sensation of travelling through the quantum realm is…unique, and you're glad it's quick because you don't know if you can stomach flying through zero gravity for too long. At least you think it's zero gravity, you haven't exactly been to space to find out or anything.

At Tony's signal, you and Steve approach the elevator. He frowns as you play with the hem of your shirt and bite your lip, giving you a look of concern.

"Are you alright?"

"No I'm not," you snap, guilt creeping in when you see his face fall. "Sorry, didn't mean to shout. I'm…I'm here now aren't I? No going back."

"Thank you, for deciding to help. I know this is asking a lot of you, but —"

"If it means getting Bucky back asap, I'll do it." Your gaze narrows and Steve smiles.

"Bucky's lucky to have someone as devoted as you."

"If I was that devoted, he would still be here." The words come out as a sad whisper, your gaze forlorn.

"We can't save everyone. The fact that you're here, doing all you can to bring him back, I think that's enough." He clasps a hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sure Buck feels the same way too."

"Cap, Hunter, I got our scepter in the elevator just passing the 80th floor." Tony's voice comes over the comms.

"On it. Head to the lobby." Steve presses the lift button. You stretch, taking a deep breath and let the Hunter take over. You're Hydra's most valuable asset aside from the Winter Soldier, but unlike him you're not just a weapon. You have authority, power as one of the candidates for heir and the past you knew how to wield it. Now you have to command once more if you want to save the man you love.

"Alright, see you there." With that, Tony hangs up to focus on his part of the mission. Steve locks gazes with you and you nod, running your fingers through your hair.

The elevator doors open with a ding and you step in, head held high. Steve follows behind, gaze flicking from the suitcase that houses the scepter to you and remains silent. Your eyes sweep the area, feeling a chill grip your heart before turning around, back facing the Hydra undercover agents. Steve's shoulder gently brushes against yours, a small gesture of comfort while your fingers curl into a fist.

When the doors close, your mission begins.

"I'm to take the scepter from here." You don't even turn around to look at any of them. Your voice alone commands obedience, for none dare to defy one of the heirs of Hydra. Except for Sitwell, it seems.

"We were not informed of any of this." You can hear the nervousness in his voice. There's tension in the air, the subtle movement of hands gripping hidden guns. Against who those guns will point, you're not fully sure, after all you have just walked into the elevator with Hydra's arch-nemesis — Captain America. That could be easily seen as a sign of betrayal, but you have some faith in your authority, at least enough to get the scepter. Whether it will be done without incident…

"Of course not. When one wants to throw others off one's scent, one doesn't exactly broadcast their plan to the world, do they?" You glance at him from the corner of your eye and see him anxiously run a thumb over the handle of the case.

"No, no, of course not," he stammers. "Still, I was wondering —"

"Are you really about to question me?" You cut in sharply. "Would you care to also explain to the head as to why their commands weren't followed?"

Rumlow raises an eyebrow, a look of amusement flicking across his face and you sense Steve tense up. You simply hold out a hand, and as expected, a weight is placed in it.

"See? That wasn't so hard. Thank you for your cooperation." You smile and Sitwell shifts uncomfortably. You give Rumlow a nod which he returns and Steve leans over to press the button for the floor the two of you are to exit at. The rest of the ride is filled with the scent of fear, a smell you haven't had the luxury to inhale in a while, and your lips curve ever so slightly into a smile. You quickly force it back down, grip on the suitcase tightening as fingernails dig into your palm.

You're not Hydra's bloodthirsty Hunter anymore. You're better than that.

The elevator arrives at your floor with a ding and you nudge Steve with your elbow. "Here's our stop. Good day, all, and hail Hydra."

"Hail Hydra," Steve echoes before exiting the lift with you, leaving behind a shocked Sitwell and Rumlow.

When the door closes, you take the chance to find the nearest place to wash your mouth. Steve takes the suitcase from you, heading a few ways ahead to scout the area until you catch up with him, wiping water off your face with your sleeve.

"Disgusting. I never want to say those damn words ever again in my life," you hiss furiously.

"Neither do I." Steve offers you a comforting smile.

"Stupid doctrine they raised me on. Anyways, that's our part done. We should be —" You suddenly hold up a fist and Steve immediately ducks around the nearest corner with you. "That's your scent."

Sure enough, a Captain America rounds the corner and catches a glimpse of your figures hiding in the shadows.

"Come on out! I can see you there!" He calls out. Glancing at Steve, you gesture at him, then yourself, and he steps out. You decide to find a new hiding spot, excited about the fight that will go down.

Once the fight is over, with your timeline Steve as the victor, you slip out of your spot, a grin adorning your face. "How is it to fight yourself?"

"Not recommended. Although I believe you view it otherwise?" He huffs, exhausted. "You seem like someone who would like to test your skills against yourself."

"It does sound like an entertaining idea." You have a newfound respect for the Captain, beating one's clone takes something and he did just that. Or something close enough, anyways. He doesn't seem to be that bad of a leader either, you can see why Bucky once followed him.

"Maybe we can get Tony to create one for you to practice against, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to show off his genius." Steve offers but you shake your head.

"Can't get me to live in Avengers tower that easily, Captain. Or get me to live anywhere near the Avengers for that matter."

"It was worth a try." His eyes sparkle in amusement and you snort in response.

"Let's get the scepter to the meetup point and cross bridges when we get to them, Steve."

"Sounds like a plan, Y/N."

[ym4yum1]

Preface — My favorite Spy (5)

November, 2024.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5.

How did the MCU shape Natasha Romanoff's character?

In AoU, THE Black Widow — arguably Marvel's sharpest, most capable spy — had her "damsel in distress" moment while waiting for Bruce (not even the Hulk) to save her from captivity. The only female Avenger at the time, Natasha was suddenly reduced to a love interest, questioning her worth as a hero and burdened with shame simply because she couldn't procreate. Who thought this was a good idea? My husband's answer: "A man." No offense.

Now, let's consider how Natasha has evolved in the MCU.

In Iron Man 2 (2010), she flirted with Tony, but earned his respect by hacking a system JARVIS couldn't crack to free Rhodey. In The Avengers (2012), she had a deep partnership with Clint, outsmarted Loki, and found the key to close the portal. In The Winter Soldier (2014), she was as much a protagonist as Steve, building a strong connection with him, even sharing a kiss. Then, in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), the film began with her already involved with Bruce. Yet, their story happened almost entirely off-screen, undermining the narrative principle of "show, don't tell," and diminishing her existing relationships.

If I were Thor, I'd be upset at being the only Avenger left out of Natasha's supposed romantic entanglements.

Jokes aside, the "monster connection" between Natasha and Bruce felt forced and unearned, as did their "romance" — a plot device to tie together two isolated people with no meaningful payoff. Ultimately, it was a disservice to both, reducing them to simplistic, cartoonish tropes.

Then, in Captain America: Civil War (2016), Natasha was forced to choose sides, pitted against close friends like Steve and Clint while trying not to lose her Avengers family. In Avengers: Infinity War (2018), though worked underground, she continued fighting crime alongside Steve.

Finally, in Avengers: Endgame (2019), her death was framed as her "redemption". But really? By this point, hadn't she evolved well beyond her past, proving her heroism time and again — even taking on a leadership role within the Avengers? And why would Steve Rogers — one of the best tacticians ever — send two non-superpowered humans to retrieve an Infinity Stone on an unknown alien planet? The Soul Stone's demand for a "sacrifice of love" was unknown to the Avengers, yet the writers chose Natasha and Clint, who had a deep bond, without any strategic justification.

From a storytelling perspective, sending someone with resilience or cosmic experience like Hulk or Rocket Raccoon would have made more sense. Natasha and Clint — skilled spies — would have been better suited to New York than the Hulk, where stealth mattered. Instead, many of these choices felt contrived and plot-driven rather than organic character growth, making Natasha's sacrifice feel hollow and unearned — designed more for emotional impact than logical consistency. Further, the absence of a funeral added insult to injury.

Sending Natasha Romanoff to Vormir, a mission that essentially preordained her death, without any explanation whatsoever, cheapened her development. From that moment, the plot felt lackluster, the movie lost its meaning, and the MCU lost a fan. But I digress.

[dark-mcu-ship-tourney]

Hello!

Welcome to the Problematic MCU Ship Tournament!

This blog will pit 64 different pairings against one another. All of them are in some way “problematic”- some feature a minor and an adult, others feature incestuous pairings, others still simply have questionable or potentially abusive dynamics. Many ships combine elements of more than one.

Each day, 4 polls will be posted pitting two different ships together (for a total of 8 ships per day). You are free to vote in as many or as few of these polls as you’d like.

This blog is explicitly pro-ship and anti-censorship, and obviously features dark themes. If this is a point of discomfort for you, you are free to block this blog, I don’t bite. Hate towards anyone (and anything unreasonably rude about ships or characters) will not be published and users that send it will be blocked. Nothing explicit will be posted to this blog, regardless of the ship, so minors are free to interact if they so wish.

The bracket below shows all the ships that will be posted, as well as their first opponent. After the first round has been completed, the diagram will be updated and all of the winning ships will be pitted against one another. You can also find a typed list of all ships under the cut, for users that can’t or don’t want to read my terrible handwriting.

May the odds be ever in your (ship’s) favor!

All First Round Ships:

1. Morgan Stark x Harold “Happy” Hogan

2. Morgan Stark x James “Rhodey” Rhodes

3. Morgan Stark x Tony Stark

4. Morgan Stark x Pepper Potts

5. Scott Lang x Cassie Lang

6. Frigga Freyrdottir x Thor Odinson

7. Vision x Billy Maximoff x Tommy Maximoff

8. Wanda Maximoff x Billy Maximoff x Tommy Maximoff

9. Maria Stark x Tony Stark

10. Howard Stark x Tony Stark

11. Obadiah “Obie” Stane x Tony Stark

12. Tony Stark x Peter Parker

13. Peter Parker x Harold “Happy” Hogan

14. Tony Stark x Harley Keener

15. America Chavez x Dr. Stephen Strange

16. America Chavez x Wanda Maximoff

17. Odin Borson x Thor Odinson

18. King T'Chaka x Prince T'Challa

19. Xu Shang-Chi x Xu Wenwu

20. Marc Spector x Stephen Grant

21. Thor Odinson x Rocket Raccoon

22. Thor Odinson x Groot

23. Peter Quill x Rocket Raccoon

24. James “Bucky” Barnes x Rocket Raccoon

25. Adrian Toomes x Peter Parker

26. Dr. Otto Octavius x Peter Parker

27. Dr. Curt Connors x Peter Parker

28. Steven “Skip” Westcott x Peter Parker

29. Dr. Stephen Strange x Peter Parker

30. Quentin Beck x Peter Parker

31. James “Bucky” Barnes x Peter Parker

32. Steve Rogers x Peter Parker

33. Thor Odinson x Loki Laufeyson

34. Loki Laufeyson x Sylvie Laufeydottir

35. Princess Shuri x James “Bucky” Barnes

36. Princess/Queen Shuri x Namor/K’uk’ulkan

37. Thanos x Nebula

38. Thanos x Gamora

39. Thanos x Loki Laufeyson

40. Thanos x Tony Stark

41. Clint Barton x Kate Bishop

42. Clint Barton x Lila Barton

43. Carol Danvers x Kamala Khan

44. Monica Rambeau x Kamala Khan

45. Stephen Grant x Khonshu

46. Jake Lockley x Khonshu

47. Marc Spector x Khanshu

48. Arthur Harrow x Ammit

49. Xu Shang-Chi x Xu Xialing

50. Princess Shuri x King/Prince T’Challa

51. Billy Maximoff x Tommy Maximoff

52. Wanda Maximoff x Pietro Maximoff

53. Peter Parker x May Parker

54. Queen Ramonda x Princess Shuri

55. Queen Ramonda x King/Prince T’Challa

56. Peter Parker x Ben Parker

57. Marc Spector x Jake Lockley

58. Stephen Grant x Jake Lockley

59. Natasha Romanov x Yelena Belova

60. Gamora x Nebula

61. Odin Borson x Loki Laufeyson

62. Frigga Feyrdottir x Loki Laufeyson

63. Peter Parker x Carol Danvers

64. Peter Parker x James “Rhodey” Rhodes

[aeterna-auroral-avenger]

Avengers: Infinity's End

Two chapters because it's a holiday, and the first one isn't really anything new. But this will be the last time you get two chapters at a time because things are really starting to pick up now, so enjoy!

Chapter 17 - Full Team

Summary: There's some missing Avengers that haven't arrived to the party yet, and as Rory and the rest work toward the Quantum Heist, she's going to need all the help she can get. It's about to be all hands on deck.

Chapter 18 - The Awakening

Summary: Rory knows she's somehow connected to the Infinity Stones, but she doesn't know how or why. She's just a nobody. She has no right to be there, right? Except for her unique knowledge, but even that only goes so far. What makes her so important? Something has laid dormant within her for far too long, but it's about to wake up. The tide is beginning to turn at long last.

[infiniteeight8]

bottom!Tony where Tonys a pillow princess, like a massive pillow princess like were talking on his phone reading a magazine, or even painting his nails (painting nails is up to you) but Stephens fine with it and doesn't seem to care

Edit: Almost forgot to put this behind a cut!

“You’re kidding me,” Tony laughed into his phone. 

“My hand to God, I’m not,” Rhodey was laughing, too. “Don’t ask me how Rocket got a hold of the Wasp suit, nevermind how he made it fit, but he did. I thought Hank was going to have an aneurysm.”

Tony shifted slightly, wrapping his legs more securely around Stephen’s waist. “I wish I’d been there to see it,” he said, though it was hard to feel anything but satisfied with the heavy stroke of a cock thrusting into him. “Flying raccoon aside, seeing someone tweak Pym’s pride is its own treat.”

Stephen’s expression didn’t even twitch at the phrase “flying raccoon”; his eyes were closed, his face a mask of unadulterated pleasure as his hips worked.

“You’ll probably get your chance,” Rhodey said. “Hank’s reaction was exactly what Rocket was going for. There’s no way he doesn’t try for a repeat. Maybe not the same trick, but Rocket’s got no shortage of ideas.”

Tony snickers, even though his own pride has suffered at Rocket’s hands more than once. “Hank’s ego gets punctured and I won’t even be in the line of fire. The best of both worlds.”

As Rhodey dove deeper into the latest news, a particularly good thrust drew a hum of pleasure from Tony.

The best of both worlds, indeed.

[kitty384]

You Called Me What?

Pairing: Gen (Reader & Tony – found family)

Summary: It slips out—just once. One word Catherine didn’t mean to say out loud. But when she accidentally calls Tony “Dad,” everything changes in the softest, most unexpected way.

Warnings: Accidental parental title, emotional vulnerability, implied trauma, found family fluff, soft comfort, happy tears.

It happened so fast I almost didn’t notice I said it.

One second, I was handing Tony the tiny screwdriver he needed for whatever insane gadget he was fixing—something he swore was “barely dangerous”—and the next second it just slipped out like it had always been there, hiding behind my teeth, waiting.

“Here, Dad—uh, Tony.”

Silence.

My heart stopped.

The screwdriver nearly dropped from his hand. His head turned slowly—so slowly—eyes wide behind those tinted glasses like he wasn’t sure he’d heard me right.

And I knew.

I knew I said it. Out loud. Not in my head. Not just a thought. It happened. Out loud. To his face. With air in my lungs and everything.

My cheeks went hot instantly. I looked down so hard I thought I might snap my own neck. “Sorry. I didn’t—sorry.”

Tony didn’t say anything right away.

I couldn’t breathe.

I hadn’t meant it.

Or maybe I had.

But I definitely hadn’t meant to say it.

Backing up a little: I’ve been here about six months now. The compound. With the Avengers.

They call it home. Sometimes I do, too.

I didn’t mean to start thinking of Tony the way I do. He’s sarcastic and sharp-edged and leaves tech scraps all over the place like a futuristic raccoon—but he also checks on me before bed, makes sure I eat, builds things just for me that I never asked for.

And he listens.

He doesn’t always get it right—but he tries.

He’s safe.

And I haven’t had someone like that in a long time.

So yeah.

I guess the word just… happened.

“Hey.”

I blinked hard, still staring at the floor.

Tony’s voice was soft now. Unusual. Almost careful.

“You alright?”

“No,” I mumbled.

He set the screwdriver down gently and turned fully toward me. “You want me to pretend I didn’t hear it?”

I stayed quiet.

My hands twisted in my hoodie. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck, and I wanted to disappear into the floor like a glitch in one of his simulations.

He sighed. “Okay, here’s the deal. One time, when Peter was, like, fifteen, he called me ‘mom’ by accident. In front of Rhodey.”

I blinked.

Tony nodded seriously. “Didn’t live it down for months. Kid nearly cried. Rhodey printed a T-shirt.”

I let out the smallest laugh. A wheeze, really.

Tony smiled. “See? Not that bad.”

I finally glanced up at him. “But I didn’t mean to—”

“I know,” he said quickly. “But also… maybe you did. Which is okay.”

I stared at him.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed again, this time like he wasn’t sure if he should say the next part. “Look, kid. I’m not trying to replace anybody in your life. Or force anything. But if you ever… I mean, if it ever comes out again, I won’t be mad.”

He shrugged, trying to sound casual.

“You could do worse than me.”

The tears hit so fast I didn’t see them coming.

I looked away again, trying to blink them back.

“Aw, crap. Did I break you?” Tony asked, shifting a little. “That wasn’t me, right? That was—nope, okay, yep, that’s crying. We’ve got crying.”

“I’m fine,” I sniffed.

“No, you’re leaking. That’s a design flaw.”

I laughed, and then it turned into a sob, and then I was just crying, and Tony stood up and muttered, “Okay, okay, incoming awkward Stark hug,” before wrapping his arms around me.

It wasn’t perfect.

But it was real.

And it felt warm. Like family.

I didn’t say it again that night. Or the next. Or the week after.

But I didn’t have to.

Because from then on, Tony started leaving notes on my desk that said “—Dad, probably.”

And every time, I smiled.

Masterlist

Request

[bedlamsbard]

About 800 words written today, returning to my MCU roots (banter). Cut most of what I wrote yesterday but feel much better about the replacement.

Snippet from Of Home Near chapter 18.

Rocket and Nebula both swiveled to watch Ross’s entrance.  “What, this is the a-hole you kept going on about?” Rocket demanded loudly. “I thought he’d at least be interesting or something, this is just a guy, everyone’s seen one of those.” “That is a talking raccoon,” Ross said. “What’d you call me, you –” Nebula grabbed Rocket by the back of his shirt as he made a flying leap for Ross.  He hung in her grip, scrabbling at the air and shrieking, “I’ll kill you!  I’ll kill you!  Don’t you ever call me that!” “Stop that, you’re embarrassing yourself,” Nebula hissed at him.  “You’re embarrassing me!” Rocket twisted around to glare up at her.  “You don’t get embarrassed!  And put me down!” She dropped him with a thump.  “I can get embarrassed if I want to!” “Travel’s broadening,” Tony said, trying not to too obviously collapse into the nearest chair as Rhodey helped him over to it. “You should try it sometime.” Ross looked hard at him, then swept his gaze around the room, taking in the occupants who hadn’t gone out to the gate with the Avengers.  His mouth went tight, but all he said was, “The less I know, the less I have to explain in a congressional hearing, so talk fast.” “Who is this guy?” Nebula asked Tony. “The Build-A-Bear there kind of summed it up,” Tony said. “He didn’t explain anything.” “Yeah, probably for the best.” Ross eyed the three of them in disbelief, then turned his attention to Steve and Natasha, apparently under the impression that they were the only two responsible adults in the room.  Under the circumstances, Natasha couldn’t exactly blame him.  “Rogers, tell me you actually have a plan.”

[raccoonfallsharder]

the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. part one. prepare for departure.

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angst, comfort, friendship, & fluff for @hibatasblog rocket & wanda | part 1/7 | word count: 1371.

rocket gets a very-important mission from danvers and needs a partner to go with him. enter the witch.

It is a well-documented fact (I know you know) that in the comic books, many of the marvel ladies have a thing for Rocket Raccoon. How could they not? Eyes like red beryls and pyropes, teeth and wit both so sharp they can kill long before the perfectly-aimed gravity-blast. Intuition off the charts, not to mention the things they've heard he can do with that tail...

Alas, this is not the comics. This is the MCU, some time between 2018 and 2023.

And while everything else remains more or less the same, Wanda Maximoff was not turned into ash.

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you,” Rocket says, rolling his eyes.

Wanda isn’t sure what to call him. He looks like a raccoon, but insists that he isn’t one. Maybe he’s an alien. Maybe he’s something else. Either way, he’s rolling his eyes at Natasha, so hard that his whole head rolls with them.

“Look, I got a very important mission from Danvers, and Nebs is busy right now, working with Kraglin to make Knowhere a more hospitablistic place for Snap refugees. D’you wanna fuck over a bunch of Snap refugees, Nat?”

He crosses his arms and raises a brow up at the new leader-apparent of the Avengers. If Wanda hadn’t felt so — nothing at all, actually — she might have let a smirk curl the corner of her mouth. He’s kind of a brat, and he knows how to get under peoples’ skin. When she’d been a child, she would have found that entertaining. Endearing. She supposes she’d used to have a soft spot for scrappy survivors. Then she’d had to stop having a soft spot for anything but her brother.

Then —

“Goddammit, Rocket. Go to Washington, then. I don’t care. But we still need the Benatar.”

His challenging look turns into a glower. “Fuck off, Nat. What am I supposed to do, then? Drive your frickin’ car?”

Natasha flaps a hand at him distractedly from behind her desk. “Yes, that’s fine, take the car—”

The look he gives her is withering. “I can’t reach the fuckin’ pedals, Nat. So unless you’re giving me permission to take the whole inefficient machine apart an’ put it back together to suit my needs, you’re gonna have to—”

“I can’t spare anyone, Rocket,” the Russian snaps.

“And I can’t be alone right now,” he snaps right back. Wanda’s eyes flick back and forth between them. 

Natasha grits her teeth. “You said this was a mission from Carol?”

“Yes,” he hisses, tapping one booted foot impatiently. 

She closes her eyes and sighs heavily, leaning back in her chair and pressing her fingers into her temples. “Fine,” she says at last, drawing the word out — petulantly, Wanda thinks from a great distance. “Find someone who’s willing to go with you and I’ll tell you if I can spare them.”

Rocket doesn’t hesitate. Without moving anything but his arm, he’s brandishing a single dark claw in Wanda’s direction.

“I’ll take the witch.”

Five years earlier — in the first days after the Snap, before they’d left all their hope on 0259-S with Thanos’ headless body — everyone else had belonged to somebody. Cap and Nat had each other, and Nat had Banner and the arrow-guy. Rhodey had the rich guy who thought he was a genius, and the rich guy had that other redhead. Thor had maybe lost the most, but he had Banner too, and his buddies from Sakaar. The Dora Milaje had their whole sisterhood. Only Danvers might have been on her own — but as far as Rocket had been able to tell, Captain Marvel hadn’t seemed to have a lotta close ties she was mourning.

But Rocket — Rocket had nobody. 

Again.

Nobody except Gamora’s sister, whose name he’d kept forgetting.

Of course, there was the witch. 

Disproportionate number of redheads on this planet, he remembers thinking bemusedly.

He hadn’t been able to remember her name for a while either, but unlike everyone else on Terra, she’d seemed almost as alone as he was. And he hadn’t been able to help but watch her, his eyes slanting sideways to stare at her as she’d sat by herself across the room, hands anchored around upper arms. He couldn't make out the color of her eyes — they’d seemed impossibly dark, with rage or grief or something else, something haunted.  

Except for when they’d smouldered like furious banked fires. 

She’d never said a frickin’ word, either: face blank and beautiful as a statue’s. Her silence had felt more surreal than any other stupid thing he’d encountered in space, which he supposed was probably just because he’s spent the last four years with a family of weirdos who’d never seemed able to shut the fuck up. 

Still. He’d tilted his head when the other avengers had walked past her — watched as they’d seemed almost to forget she was even there. They’d barely talked to her, and once, when they’d been ordering lunch, they’d missed her entirely.

Uh — you didn’t ask the witch what she wants, Rocket had said to Nat awkwardly, and the assassin had blinked and her eyes had hunted the whole room before they’d finally focused on the other woman — like she hadn’t even known where her fellow-Avenger was. 

No. The witch had been an outcast. And Rocket has always known something about outcasts. His whole frickin’ family — both, some small part of his brain had tried to speak up before he could smother it; both families were made of the unwanted — his whole frickin’ family had been outcasts and misfits. It had made some part of Rocket’s heart suddenly stretch in his chest. It had reached with grasping fingers, trying to hang onto something he’d already known he’d lost.

Family.

The next day, Rocket had cleared his throat and told Gamora’s sister that he was gonna go starside to touch base with Kraglin on the Third Quadrant — to see if he still exists, he hadn’t said, but he’d been pretty sure the cyborg had picked it up. 

“You wanna come, Blue?” he’d asked — wincing when his nonchalance had been too thin to be believable. But the Luphomoid had inclined her head, eyes dark and steady. When that had been squared away — surprisingly a hell of a lot easier than he’d thought — he’d  shuffled to his feet, and headed to the bench outside the compound, where the witch had been sitting since sunrise.

He’d stood in her line of vision and stared at the sky too, shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, tail trying to tuck itself underneath him. It had probably been a full twenty minutes before he’d felt her eyes on him.

“I. Uh. I heard you lost your robot-boyfriend.” The words had been as clumsy as an orloni drunk on fermented Asgardian figs, but he’d been trying.

The witch’s eyes had flared, crimson-bright. “Robot?” she’d repeated dangerously.

Rocket’s ears had flicked back and he’d taken a step away, into the grass: hands extended, palms out.

“Hey, m’not trying to be a dick,” he’d protested. “I think I might be part-robot myself.” He’d stabbed a thumb over his shoulder toward the Benatar, where he could feel  his new blue companion staring holes in his back. “Gamora’s sister’s almost all-robot, too.” 

He could also feel the sister in question rolling her eyes. 

“M’just saying,” he’d muttered at both of them, hunching his shoulders and half-turning to kick a patch of grass. “Some of us are solo now.” He’d gestured at the cyborg again. “Might be good to stick together.” 

“I was used to being solo,” Nebs had pointed out, and Rocket had winced. “You’re the one who got attached.”

His ears had flattened. “Whatever,” he’d growled. “Just thought — whatever.” He’d spun again, kicking more grass, and muttered bitterly under his breath. “So much for trying to be the captain. So much for trying to look out for the damn strays.”

“You’re the stray,” Nebula had replied with a mutinous jut of her chin — and how the fuck had she heard him? That wasn’t standard Luphomoid hearing range. 

Rocket had cursed whatever aural implants Thanos had given her. 

Then the witch had made a strange sound behind him — a little huff of breath.  A disbelieving, agonized little shred of laughter.

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During a watch party for Avengers: Endgame on Twitter, Markus revealed the idea to team Wanda with the Guardian of the Galaxy captain actually made it into several versions of the film's script. "We had whole drafts with Wanda on a road trip with Rocket," Markus wrote, "but after the Vision plot in Infinity War, nothing we came up with was anything but wheel spinning for her character." CBR