#Rhetorical

[hadesoftheladies]

hate is survival. that's what you don't understand. loving you means hating myself because YOU made it so.

as a child, whenever i watched cinderella or rapunzel, all i thought was "she's beautiful, i love her hair." i used to look at white children with curiosity. wonder. i thought their green, blue eyes were spooky in a cool way and loved the way their hair flopped.

white supremacy made your whiteness political. white supremacy came and said "you're not beautiful, you're not human, if you don't look like that." to love how you looked became inseperable from hating how i looked.

as a baby, whenever my dad held or tickled me, not once did i think "i hope he doesn't destroy me." i adored my little brothers. i viewed my male playmates as my soulmates. if we had spirits, they'd be the same color. we loved the same games, basked in each other's company.

male supremacy made your maleness political and dangerous. male supremacy came and said "sorry about your vagina, but due to its existence, you now deserve rape, less opportunities, no autonomy, and a life of endless toil for a man" male supremacy pointed the gun at my back, and soon it trained my brothers to hold the gun at me in the stead of their ancestors. in order for you to be a man, i had to be a submissive, domestic, sexual object. my humanity emasculated you. male supremacy said "you are now a sexual vessel that will be punished for non-compliance." loving you became inseperable from hating my womanhood and humanity.

as a little girl, when i went to a wedding between a man and a woman, i thought, "the flowers are lovely, i'm glad that they're happy, that they've chosen each other, this is beautiful." when they kissed after saying their vows, i clapped and wished them happiness.

YOU made straightness political and dangerous. your religion and homophobia said, "your love is less, it is actually hate, and we will not allow you to express it." your marriage became something to lord over people like me. to justify the state hunting us down like animals. kissing a girl, holding her, wanting to be with her, became INSEPERABLE from destroying your right to marriage.

IT IS YOU who fear-mongered against me. IT IS YOU who narrowed the many expressions of love and friendship avaialble to humanity. IT IS YOU who destroyed unity. IT IS YOU who said that loving you had to cost me loving myself.

AND TO THAT I SALUTE WITH MY MIDDLE FINGER.

i will hate you and what you stand for. i will allow my disgust and rage at you. i will hold my anger like a teddy bear and kiss it goodnight. because unlike you, it loves me back. because i had once been willing to love you, and it nearly cost me my own self-annihilation. you made me hate myself. you refused to share or mirror the love i was willing to give.

and this hate you feel so threatened by is how i live. it is how i stopped myself from killing myself. from ripping myself to shreds for you. from hiding my breasts, burning my hair, lashing myself for looking at a girl and thinking she was beautiful. it is how i realized the war within myself was caused by the institutions you uphold. that the disquiet in me was never my fault.

the fault of a little girl whose first instinct on beholding the world was to love it.

i choose her this time. she's the one that deserves my love.

[7roaches]

what r the statute of limitations for refollowing someone u accidentally unfollowed and got scared

[buwheal]

It’s starting to sink in how much time i just spent getting that critter…. And i mean i love it but….. i couldve done SO SO much more in that time…. Is this normal

[cak3o]

Did you know…? There are 200 people followed my blog cuz of megaman…there are more mm fans out there than u might think

[polyamorouspunk]

Hey really quick what the hell is going on-

[aquaredhomestuckau]

remind me i have some blood colors to mess around with in the morning

[jewishevelinebaker]

I want to learn how to dance but how do you get over the shame of doing things wrong even if youre by yourself

[gwensy]

is every tmg song about sam chung

[whinesandwhimpers]

And what if there was no poker game in the six cod kidnappers fic? What if ghost and soap are big selfish fucking liars? What then?

[remusawoooo]

I don't think we understand the levels of fucked up you have to be cook up a character like lestat (said with love and slight concern)

[system-of-a-feather]

Dude why do autism meltdowns have to be so damn hard to Not Be A Bitch in

[flamingo--ing]

perhaps chronic pain since early childhood caused something terribly wrong w me

[stars-and-birds]

canada what did the east coast ever do to you

[crippled-peeper]

did I earn the right to exist authentically yet

[doctorlafayette]

How do you explain to someone that you do not feel sick, but you just feel bad?

[necroangelz]

guys how do i cope w the fact multiple ppl are gonna leave me in the future and technically they haven't left yet but in my mind they're gone already and i shouldn't even be grieving for them bc they're not dead they'll just be gone and i don't need to grieve them but here i am. doing just that