#Reverse-Shaming Tactics

[blk-chauvinist]

Feminists will actually attempt to gaslight men, and tell them that they’re “being emotional,” for reacting to her verbal disrespect...which they are really trying to get these men to accept without challenging them.

[furiousgoldfish]

Phrases that now mean nothing to me (or represent a red flag):

Trust me.

And why do you have that boundary (why can’t you do x, why don’t you like when I do y to you? You said no, now tell me why not?)

If you don’t do this for me, then you don’t love me.

Would it kill you to do x? 

If you do this for me, I promise do to x and x.

You should be doing x. 

Why don’t you just do x so everyone would be happy? 

You should be doing x.

What about that time you allowed me to do x? You led me on! Is it so hard to do it? (in the context of trying to break a boundary by explaining it away)

You’re overreacting /misunderstanding /remembering it wrong!

You don’t care about me. You don’t care about anything but yourself.

I love you. (said by someone who knows me for less than a year, meaning they don’t even know me.)

Did I mean nothing to you? (in the context of breaking away from someone who hurt us)

You wanted this. (in reference to something that I didn’t want, but they did.)

You need to think more about this. (when I absolutely don’t)

You need to start thinking about what will happen to you if you don’t do x.

Why are you being so difficult? You have issues.

You need help.

Phrases I also no longer spend a second thinking on:

You’re stupid

You’re worthless.

You have no consideration for anyone.

You’re disgusting.

You’re selfish.

You’re ungrateful.

It doesn’t matter what you think / want.

You’re crazy / delusional / evil!

You’re toxic.

If there is someone in your life who uses these types of phrases to control, manipulate, guilt and shame you, know that none of these come even close to the truth, and this person doesn’t know you, and cannot judge who you are. And even if they did, it does not give them the right to insult or manipulate you. If you were any of these things, they would simply go away, not attempt to control you and your perception of yourself.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

first of all, i fucking love ani being a stalker:(

and what about bestfriend!anakin? but like, he's a bit creepy. he just knows he's been in love with you since you two were kids. you're his first love. you were just to dumb to see it. and he was always there to take care of you and hug you when your boyfriends dump you after he secretly threatens them because no one is too good for you. no one but him.

also, have you never noticed that some of your panties are missing?

I will totally do bestie!Ani. He’d be so sweet but so mean simultaneously.

Warnings: controlling behavior, gaslighting, verbal/emotional abuse/condescension, gen. smut, rough foreplay, hair pulling, dubcon, slut shaming?, kinda innocent/definitely bratty & naive reader, arguing, possessiveness, ownership, misogyny

“Oh for the love of-“ Anakin grabbed your wrist and yanked you roughly away from the handsy jock who’d lured you to the living room couch at this frat house party that you just ‘had to go to’.

“Ani that’s rude! You can’t just do that!” He huffed, protesting physically by stubbing up and trying not to move. “At least let me say goodbye! He was being nice!”

“No! You’re drunk and he’s just talking to you because he thinks you’ll be an easy lay.” He snapped, changing tactics and gripping the back of your neck to steer you toward the door.

“You just let him put his arm around you and squeeze your ass! Are you fucking daft? At this point you’re just asking for it.” He sneered, opening the passenger door of his truck and lifting you up. He reach across you and buckled you in just like he always did.

“Is that what you want?” He asked angrily, throwing the truck in reverse the moment he slammed his own door shut.

“No!” You started crying, your bottom lip wobbling when you realized Anakin was right. “I’m sorry Ani! D-don’t be mad! Please, I’m sorry!” You sniffled.

He let you sob, apologize, beg, and grovel the entire way back to your shared apartment. He got out of the truck silently and walked around to your side, helping you out and shutting your door. His hand on the small of your back as he walked one step behind you until you reached your front door and stepped inside.

“Ani please! Talk to me.” You whined, the silent treatment killed you everytime he did it. “This isn’t fair! I’m sorry I was being s-so stupid! I’m sorry!”

Anakin ignored you, pretending you weren’t even there. He didn’t even miss a stride when you stood in front of him defiantly. He just side stepped you and played it off as though he meant to do it, he scooped up a throw blanket and sat down on the couch.

“Fine!” You stomped off to your bedroom and got changed into a comfy nightie, pouting and sniffling away the remaining tears.

He was really, really pushing it with the silent treatment this time. It’s been almost three hours. It’s 11:00pm and you’ve padded around the kitchen, slamming cabinets as you loudly made yourself a snack. You practically tossed the heavy ceramic plate onto the coffee table with a clatter. You’d tried all your tactics that normally have him holding you, coddling you and comforting you while you apologized profusely. Nothing was working.

You sat down in his lap and blocked his view of the Tv, he was completely unfazed. He simply pulled out his phone instead.

That was the last straw.

“This isn’t fair!” You shrieked, standing up suddenly and pointing your finger in his face. “You’re being an ass! What happened wasn’t my fault!”

His jaw tightened and he struggled not to react, you could tell, his nostrils flared and his tongue poked at the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.” You scoffed continuing to chide him animatedly.

Until you said the wrong thing. Oh, you really, really fucked up royally. You’d never seen him so angry. Livid. Livid was a better word.

He swatted your hand away the moment those words left your lips: “You don’t own me. You can’t tell me what to do!”

“I don’t?” He sneered, standing up and using his height to his advantage, towering over you. “Are you sure?”

“What? Yes I’m sure!” You huffed.

“You ungrateful brat.” He snapped. “You depend on me for everything. You live in my apartment. You need me to provide for you: food, clothes, the stupid shit you just have to get everytime we go to the fucking store. You’re worse than a child. I’ve spoiled you until I’ve ruined you. Without me, you’d be hopeless.”

“You know nothing about the real world because I’ve coddled you for years. You’ve never had a job. I do all your homework because your tiny little girl brain can’t handle more than a few words at a time. Fuck! I do everything for you! When was the last time you tied your own shoes?”

“You think I don’t own you?” He growled, ignoring your whimper as your lip trembled. “I do own you.”

“You belong to me.” He scowled. “Why do you think you don’t have a fucking boyfriend, why no one has ever asked you out since fucking freshman year of highschool? Why do you think the only attention you get is from a random creep while you’re wasted and wandered off from me?”

“Everyone else knows you’re mine. Everyone but you.” He yelled. “I’ve spent my life bending over backwards for you! You fucking stupid spoiled bitch!”

He laughed throwing his hands up and running them through his hair.

“The sad thing is: I can’t even blame you for being so goddamn useless. It’s my fault.” He said angrily. “It’s my fault for treating you like a fucking princess your whole life. I’ve waited on you hand and foot for the entirety of my existence.”

You stood there motionless. Mouth gaping in shock, your eyes dry of tears because… how do you even react to this response? It was as if he’d caused you to completely fawn, your gaze fixed on him as your brain raced to process his words.

“You don’t have anything to say?” He scoffed, rubbing his face before snapping his fingers in your face. “Hello? Earth to princess.”

“I love you! I fucking love you.” He yelled and that startled you out of your stupor.

“Love me?” You echoed.

“Yes, you fucking dumbass.” He groaned.

“You love me love me?” You asked, shocked that you’d somehow been so oblivious. Maybe it was because he was right, he’d always treated you this way. You were just to stupid to understand why.

“God.” He grumbled, grabbing a fist full of your hair with his left hand and forcing you down over the armrest of the couch. “I love you. You love me too don’t you?”

“Y-yes.” You nodded, admitting it aloud for the first time.

“Of course you fucking do.” He said in a softer tone, though his actions didn’t mirror it. He roughly pulled down your panties and let them fall to the floor.

“You’re mine aren’t you? I own you. Right?” He demanded, his rough fingertips gently gliding back and forth across your dripping slit. “Fuck. You don’t even have to answer that.” He groaned through gritted teeth.

He swirled his finger around your entrance before dipping inside and removing his finger just as quickly, bringing it to your lips and shoving it in your mouth.

“Suck it clean.” He ordered. “You wouldn’t be so fuckin’ wet if I didn’t own you. Right?”

You simply nodded, your brain addled with the onslaught of information that it struggled to keep up with. You really were useless.

“I’ve been patient.” He said slowly, his tone low and gravely as he unbuckled his belt with one hand, his other keeping it’s place in your hair. “I’ve waited for you to realize it on your own.”

“That was my mistake.” He sighed, unzipping his pants and letting them fall. “I should’ve known you’d need me to spell it out for you, just like with everything else.”

“Well this time I’m gonna show you.” He said sternly, leaving no room for negotiation. “You want that don’t you? You want my cock?”

“Uh huh.” You nodded, pushing your ass up alittle higher.

“See? Mine.” He chuckled. “Even after all that, you’re still my obedient little puppy aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, too distracted by his cockhead rubbing firmly through your folds to collect your slick.

“You know that’s why I call you puppy right?” He snickered. “Cause you’re my bitch.”

You whimpered, ashamed that you found it incredibly attractive.

“Fuck. So goddamn needy.” He laughed, pumping his cock a few times before lining himself up. “Is my little puppy ready for me? Ready for me to fuck this pussy til’ all you have left in that dumb little brain is me?”

[random-dragon-exe]

Okay, MAJOR SALT COMING! Also a long post!

So I have the Disney Villains tarot deck but before I go into the salt part of the post, let's go into the positives.

The cards have stunning art and each card is appropriately themed to the villain generally speaking about 98% of the time. (IMO).

Another positive is the roster of villains included. Seeing even a few minor/underrated villains is pretty cool and impressive.

Some examples of these villains include Bowler Hat Guy, Madame Mim, Madame Medusa, and possibly Yzma.

Now onto the salt.

As impressive as the span of villains is, two villains are absent who (IMO) deserved a card.

King Candy

Frollo

First, there are other villains absent, but I'm sticking to these two since I've seen these movies. Now going in order, it is an absolute SHAME (IMO) that King Candy doesn't have a card, but I have an idea of which card suits him best.

The King of Swords. Although this card is given to Scar, and I do love how it looks, I believe that King Candy deserved it.

Plus, Scar appears on like three other cards, so I think it's okay for him to appear three times (sorry Scar, I do love you too).

Anyway, I'm going to go into some detail as to why I believe King Candy/Turbo deserves the card by going into the meaning of it and how it relates to him.

I'll admit, I have a lot of points and can talk about this for days, but I'm going to condense them to 3-ish. I'll do the same for Frollo too in a part 2 post.

Going for a two in one here: The card is about being an authority who uses reason and their intelligence for good. while the reverse of this is being cunning to deceive people.

After Turbo hijacked Sugar Rush, he was very methodical about his approach to make it sound like he's their rightful ruler. He locked up their memories, then he fabricated the lie that she was a danger to their game. Turbo did his best to make sure nothing went unchecked and made sure to make the lie sound convincing to protect them (but mostly him). He's very strategic, and was able to come up with a plan to manipulate Ralph with 16 manipulation tactics in one go. He was even able to feign being concerned to play on Ralph's attachment to Vanellope.

I think the best line that best captures this aspect of the card is "Doing what's right, no matter what." AKA: He recognizes that it may sound harsh, but he makes his lies sound reasonable to protect his subjects and game.

The card also represents enjoying structure when upright. But it's controlling and oppressive in a need for order when reversed.

Turbo needs everything to be to be going his way, as he's a control freak.

Inserting the test animation here, he even says "You are a threat to my game, to the order I have maintained. And if there's one thing I can't abide, it's anything out of order!"

Also, the split-second something isn't in his control, he starts to fumble and break into either rage or nervously laughing. He's capable of coming off as cool and composed, but he's scared of being caught and it can cause him to lash out in anger (another aspect of the card).

Just as mentioned in the previous point, he made sure nothing went unchecked and made an entire world literally revolve around him. He can and WILL happily use all of his resources of excessive force he has like the cops, the Sugar Rush equivalent of S.W.A.T., and the fungeon to detain someone who stands in his way.

As a minor note, there's a line in the tarot guidebook that states the reverse of the card can represent "someone who needs to win at any cost." Which describes Turbo to a T. He not only wants attention but he's also extremely competitive. It's part of his programming, and it ties to his love for racing. To always come out on top and be #1. No matter who or what stands in his way.

That core drive (pun intended) was the cause of his villainy in the first place and earned him his infamous status in the arcade.

Okay, I don't want to sound too salty, but you can imagine my disappointment when King Candy didn't get a card.

Oh well, Its fine, I still love and use this deck.

So I guess we can call this the thrilling conclusion to the 3 part saga of including King Candy in Disney Villain merchandise.

Also as a sidenote: hypothetically if he did get this card, what would the imagery be?

I feel the card has the potential to get creative with the glitch effects. For example make it so that he's glitching between the Turbo appearance and the King Candy appearance. If we want to be a little cheeky, we could have it set in his castle, and out the window, we see a the cybug Ralph initially sent to SR flying outside a castle window. (similar to Hook's card as the crocodile is seen outside)

So basically, my interpretation would be a mix of these images and Captain Hook's card:

But, if anyone else has really cool ideas, I'd love to hear them! If you want, you could also draw it out to illustrate your point (pun intended) Honestly please do, I'd love to see other people's interpretations of this card for him. The possibilities are endless!

Join me in my antics next time when I analyze Frollo and and the card I think he should've gotten.

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

x. what a shame she's fucked in the head.

— the one where they tell you what your word is worth.

❝𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦❞ —𝘛𝘢𝘺𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵, 𝘊𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵.

warnings: abuse downplay, bashing towards taylor swift (i obviously adore her pls don't come for me haha), online bullying, new york inaccuracies, corny taylor references per usual, etc. 2k words + articles

in my head there's a mix of begin again and cornelia street playing as background music.

masterlist ✢ next

NO one likes a mad woman, but not for the reasons Taylor Swift made you believe in the lyrics of her 2020 song. Although we are definitely afraid y/n might get 'more crazy'.

Honestly, who gave her the right to speak like that about Aidan Kim? As it turns out, the three-year relationships she willingly stayed on was a 'dead-end' one, and Aidan "abused" (and I cannot stress the quotations enough) her through several stages of their shared time.

Well, I call bullshit.

How is it that after Aidan Kim helped her build whatever she has going on that people call a 'career' she wasn't bothered about being told 'how to look and how to act' (direct quote from her own video, by the way).

Breaking up with your sneaky link and calling him your friend won't save what you did before, y/n, it's the oldes trick in the book. Everything she said in her Youtube video, one I regretfully watched despite the knowledge that I won't get those 45 minutes of my life back, is rehearsed and calculated and just tried to paint the real victims in a bad light.

Playing the victim worked for Taylor Swift in 2009, 2017, 2019... but we surely won't let it happen again, right folks? y/n needs a new tactic to crawl back from the hell, because we're not believing anything that comes out of her mouth anymore.

It's true what they say, an untalented actress makes an untalented liar.

By Lia Yim

Victoria Presley is worried about best friend's y/n y/ln's well-being after the actress 'completely ghosted her' since moving back to New York.

"One day we were fine and the next, she had packed her bags and left my house," Presley said in an exclusive interview with iNTouch. "I'm not going to lie, I was deeply hurt by her actions. I offered her my home as a safe haven and she left without explanation."

y/n had been living in Victorias Los Angeles home since mid-February until this month when she returned to her infamous SoHo apartment, one she shared with Aidan Kim until their breakup.

"I can find it in my heart to forgive her, of course," 'Vic', as she's known on social media, added. "Right now, I just want my best friend back. I want the y/n I've known for years and not this person she became since Matilde Bassi and Charles Leclerc inserted themselves in her life."

Victoria Presley, the founder and CEO of Presley Beauty, is the daughter of Luke Presley and Claire Walker and has been in the influencing business for a few years now.

"If y/n ends up reading this, I want her to know that I will support her decisions but not in the way her new 'friends' are doing. I just want what's best for her."

SEE ALSO:

→ Vic Presley on having to start from zero: "I'm not a nepobaby!"

→ A look inside y/n's SoHo apartment, the one Aidan Kim paid for.

→ Is Charles Leclerc's career going downhill thanks to y/n?

By Beatrice Mann

With y/n y/ln's latest controversy, the whole world has turned their backs on the actress. But, is it really that bad? Or is it just because she's a woman in the business?

The online community's hottest topic is y/n's Youtube video where she speaks on her relationship with Aidan Kim, her friendship with Charles Leclerc and, most importantly, how all of this has affected her career. And I want to tell you all, y/n is right.

If the roles were reversed, Aidan Kim would be thriving on a newly unlocked 'Heartbreaker' persona and y/n would still be constantly humiliated for not being 'wife material'.

I believe y/n deserves much better than what she's getting. The woman admitted she escaped a relationship where her partner LAUGHED at her and manipulated her actions for his comfort. And people are still siding with the man? Seriously, people, use your brains and dig up your morals!

The only thing we're communicating to younger generations by constantly doubting women's words and putting them in the spotlight for standing up for themselves, is that only men's words are worth something.

June 14th, Manhattan, New York.

It isn't much of a surprise when Charles calls you while you're trying to get your Moka pot to work that morning. It's your third attempt at it and the previous mornings you've left it alone with tears in your eyes to walk down the street and get Starbucks coffee. You might be a little too attached to that coffee maker.

Charles got to New York city the previous night, and reminded you that you promised to show him around more than once. You intended to keep your promise, thinking you would have more time before the day came.

But as you walk to the restaurant where you decided to meet him, you can't help but think how exciting it is that you get to show the city you love so much to Charles. And just like that morning in Monaco, you can't help but remind yourself that this is a friendly get-together.

Charles has slowly, but surely, become one of your closest friends in the middle of the frenzy that your life is. With your ex-best friend saying you walked out on her and your failed fiancé insisting that it was you, who acted like a 'total psychopath' towards the end of your relationship, you have more fingers than people you can count on.

You watch him carefully as he smooths the napkin on his legs twice and then drops in on the table again, fidgeting with the loose threads in the corner.

Your wristwatch says it's 10:00 am, which is the exact time you agreed to meet. You wonder how long he's been waiting if there's an empty cup of coffee in front of him.

"You know, it's also rude to be too early for a meeting," you say as a form of greeting once you approach the table.

This startles him enough to drop the napkin on his lap again, proceeding to scramble to return it to the table before pushing his chair out to get up.

You chuckle, but before you can say you were joking, Charles is engulfing you in a hug. Your stomach flutters because of the way he holds the back of your head with his palm. It feels like you're being reunited after months instead of just two weeks. Time doesn't feel real sometimes, you would know.

"Soleil!" he says excitedly, putting his hands on your shoulders. "It's so good to see you,"

"It's nice to see you too, Charlie."

There's the nickname again. You've tried not to think too hard about it. Is it a European thing to call your friends that? When you asked him about it the last time he called before taking his flight to New York, his response was a simple 'it suits you'.

Charles pulls your chair for you and grabs your purse to place it on the empty chair between you two. He grabs his napkin again, pulling one last time on a thread before smoothing it down and forgetting about it.

"How are you?" Charles asks, a bright smile on his face. It falters in a barely perceptible way because he doesn't want to give you bad thoughts, which seem to come automatically every time the question is asked.

"Well, I'm okay," you assure in a soothing tone, "Still looking for jobs. And you?"

"Alright. Lots of work in the simulator and I'm hoping this is a good weekend,"

"Are you sure you'll be okay getting to Montreal tomorrow?" you smile at the waitress that approaches your table, "Can I have some coffee, please?"

"Of course," Charles assures, with a gesture of his hand. He's getting to Montreal at seven in the morning and running straight to his motorhome. "There's time for everything."

"What do you want to do, then?"

You don't want to exhaust him by showing him around New York, he has a long weekend ahead. To be honest, you really wonder what compelled him to make this stop instead of going straight to Canada. Sure you had talked about him coming to New York, eventually. Not a day before he had to start his Grand Prix weekend.

"Anything you want us to do," he replies, the single-dimpled smile on his face. "I'm open to anything."

"MoMA? Central Park? Something not so touristy?" you suggest, before thanking the waitress as she places a hot cup of coffee on the table.

"Just show me the places you like, y/n, don't stress about it." Charles laughs, eyes returning to the open menu in front of him. "I only care about hanging out with you."

"Thanks," is all you manage to say as you sip the scalding coffee, you do your best not to wince as it burns your tongue and down your throat. "Let's do it then."

"So, what do you think? Everything you expected and more?"

You're taking a walk in Central Park after Charles agreed to see the Alice in Wonderland statue. It's a warm morning in New York and although you haven't been walking around for that long, Charles seems content enough with what he's seen.

"It's very... you," Charles replies, and you're sure he means it as a compliment, but New York can be really ugly too. "In a good way!" he adds when he sees your expression.

"Thank you, Charlie." you laugh again. It's easy being with Charles, laughing with sincerity and really being in what's happening in the moment.

You didn't lie when you said you weren't afraid of speaking up anymore, but the dread of actually doing it is inevitable. Your words are being twisted and marked as false because Aidan is far 'more loved' than you are. Not to mention Victoria's interview about your lack of reciprocity to her humble feelings

You're still thinking about suing her. But it hurts to know that she was your best friend a week ago.

A few people stop you both to ask for pictures and autographs on the back of phone cases. A few of them ignore you, others smile politely at Charles before asking him to take their picture with you.

"I'm really polishing my photographing skills," Charles jokes as you walk away from a group of young girls who gush about how much they wish they could dress like you.

"Sorry if it bothers you," you whisper, looking at him only from the corner of your eye.

"Of course not, y/n. They ask nicely, and you're okay with it." he shrugs.

There was one time when a teenager, around fourteen or fifteeen, asked Aidan if he could please take a picture of her and yourself. It was an innocent question, she had already acknowledged him as 'that guy from Star-5' and how he'd been in Supercut with you.

But just by the way you saw his expression change, you told the girl a selfie was a better option, you would hold the phone yourself if she was okay with it.

You didn't hear the end of it for the rest of night. Aidan berated your career for the first time of many, saying it was frankly offensive that he’d been treated that way. It didn't matter that you told him the girl was barely a teen and she hadn't been rude. Still, he was more famous than you, he didn't deserve to be made felt like the opposite.

"What are you thinking?" Charles asks, touching your shoulder gently to make you pause your walk.

You really don't want to admit you were thinking about your ex-boyfriend. Not that it matters, Charles knows you think about Aidan often in a mostly negative light, but it feels weird to say it here. So you shrug and sigh. "I wish I thought of nothing, to be honest."

Charles squeezes your shoulder in a half hug. He doesn't push your boundaries, although he wishes he knew what was actually going through your mind.

─────────

It's when you two are having dinner in a restaurant in SoHo that Charles asks the question that has been eating him away since he landed in New York the previous night.

"Do you want to come to Canada with me?"

"Am I not blacklisted from the paddock?" you tease, although Elix is gone. You wonder if Ferrari people blame you a little bit for their sponsor dropping them.

"Absolutely not," Charles frowns, "And you would be my guest, you get to be in the Ferrari Suite like always."

"Thank you, Charlie–"

Charles tries not to seem disappointed as he waits for the 'but' to follow, so he drinks from his wine.

"—but I have some back to back things to do this weekend," you do regret not being able to make it, you loved the few Grand Prix you were able to attend and you would love to see Carlos too. But you have booked a few interviews with people who, more than anything want to consume gossip, but have disguised it as 'letting you tell your truth in more depth'. You cannot back down from what you started.

"That's okay," he assures with a quick wink. "You know you can come to races whenever you want to, though, right?"

"I can?" you raise both eyebrows and Charles rolls his eyes. "The benefits of having a Ferrari driver as a friend. I should have befriended you sooner."

"Very funny," he says as he hides his smile behind his glass of wine again. "Do I get invited to the Red Carpets?"

"You kind of befriended me at the downfall of my career. It's going to take a while for you to be on a Red Carpet."

Charles clicks his tongue and shakes his head. "You're only just getting started, soleil. Don't say that."

You hope he's right, because you have castings lined-up for next week too and you don't want to call him, or Mati, or your mom, crying about how unwanted you feel.

You shrug, drinking from your own wine.

"I'm being serious, y/n," Charles' tone is stern for a moment, yet not aggressive. "You have a lot of wonderful things to do in the future."

"Yeah, thanks." you dislike yourself for ruining the mood yet again, but Charles isn't bothered as he smiles at you once again.

"I mean it,"

He does, and so does Mati, and your mom. You are bound for great things, although they're taking time to find you right now.

"I know. Thank you Charlie, you're very kind. I hope you have a good race this weekend."

Charles huffs. "Yes, me too. Wish me luck?"

"I feel like I jinx you more than help you, Charlie."

"You didn't wish me luck in Spain, look how that went," he fakes a shudder and you snort. You hated every minute spent in Spain after FP3.

"Good luck, you'll do great." You pat the hand that he keeps on top of the table a couple times and before you can take your hand back, he grabs it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Your heart races and you take a deep, sharp breath, like that would help it go back to normal. You have tried not to overanalyze everything about today, from the way Charles looked to the words he said, to the way your body responded to it. You don't want to go down that specific spiral.

"Thanks for stopping by," you take your hand back and keep it busy with your almost empty glass of wine. The alcohol has turned your cheeks warm. "You really want to see New York, huh?"

"I really wanted to see you," Charles replies, nonchalantly.

And you know you'll be spiraling, despite your best efforts.

─── team principal radio: ❝thanks for reading! also thank you so so so much because last chapter got to 1k+ interactions and i was beyond shocked!! it means a lot that you're enjoying delicate!♡❞

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[kosmic-euphoria]

🔞 MDNI | Virgin!Gaz x Fem!Reader x Price (blurb) 🔞

TW: Slight cuckolding, fingering (f), voyeurism, praise, reverse cowgirl, creampie, established relationship w/Gaz.

Note: I've been thinking about this for the past week. ;) Requests are open.

Kyle sat there, stroking his virgin cock to the sight of your flushed frame nestled perfectly against his captain's chest. Watching the older man lift you up and guide you back down onto his thick dick sent a pleasurable shiver up the younger man's spine, and his grip tightened further around his length. It felt shameful to watch another man fuck his girlfriend, but there was also something so hot about it, too.

Not a single hint of regret was seen in Kyle's eyes the more he watched John continue sliding you up and down on him. The pace was slow and the movements gentle, something Kyle would take into consideration for a possible later date. His attention soon shifted when his captain slid a hand down to your clit, his thick thumb rubbing it in a slow, circular pattern.

The moan that fell from your lips caused his cock to jump, and he let out a soft groan as he thumbed over the tip, smearing more of his precum over it. "Hear tha', Garrick?" John asked, earning a slow nod from the other man. "Tha's how she likes it." He pressed down on the little bundle of nerves, eliciting yet another moan from those pretty lips of yours.

The sound rang in Kyle's ears, and he bit his bottom lip in an attempt to keep himself in control. He didn't want to release so soon; not when you hadn't had one yet. But the way you looked, panting softly while his captain both fucked you in his lap and stimulated your clit, it had his mind and body reeling with pleasure.

"Look a' her, Garrick. Look a' how she bounces."

His eyes roved over you as the older man shifted tactics, and the soft and gentle pace beforehand was quickly replaced by a much rougher and fast paced one. Kyle's tongue rooted itself between his teeth, watching the way your tits bounced with each thrust. So beautiful, so tantalizing, so...

Fuck.

A guttural groan ripped from his throat as Kyle gave his cock one last pump, tossing his head back as thick ropes spurted from the tip. His hand was coated in the cum that dribbled down his shaft, coupled with the few ropes that splayed across his heaving chest. The sight alone was enough to make John follow suit, his own cock burying itself into your tight cunt for the final time; tip kissing your cervix as your gummy walls milked him.

The strangled moan that slipped out from between your lips in response had your boyfriend slowly stroking himself once more, despite the sensitivity that took hold of him at the moment. His head lifted and his gaze met with yours, watching as his captain kissed your temple before letting out a soft, "Good girl."

It was a moment neither of you regretted. Kyle for asking John with a bit of help in how to pleasure you, John accepting almost immediately, and you for going along with it all. Your boyfriend would keep this memory etched into his mind forever, letting it be the driving force for future fucks.

[xaverie]

For those playing along at home, a casual reminder that

We never hear or see Lestat apologize

before Louis takes him back. We get the sense that there was an apology, or that we are supposed to view his actions as apologetic, but the only language suggesting that this is the case comes from Louis (who we have already established is biased.)

Louis says,

"Lestat disappeared after that awful night. Vanished out of a profound sense of shame he would later confess to. Which was just as well, since Claudia and I were in no mood to receive his apologies."

But the following scene shows Lestat attempting to win Louis back with a gift, not an attempted apology.

The closest we get to an apology is Lestat's statement as he attempts to gift Louis with the car, and in narration, Louis says, "For six years in all, these raw and desperate mea culpas came like the tide." A 'mea culpa' is an admission of guilt or error, but is that actually what we saw?

"Louis I don't know what possessed me that night. [...] I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I'm nothing without you. I'm nothing without both of you. If you want me to go away, just say so. I'll obey you. I'll leave your life forever. This silence is cruel. And you were never cruel, Louis."

This is a DARVO statement.

It's subtly done, but it's exactly what Lestat is doing here.

Deny: Lestat is denying responsibility and distancing himself from his actions in episode 5 by saying "I don't know what possessed me. I was someone I don't want to be anymore." Whoever did that thing was a different person. Not the real me, not the person who is speaking to you right now.

Attack: "I'm nothing without you. I'm nothing without both of you." In context, it sounds like Lestat is explaining that he needs Louis and Claudia back in his life - which is bad enough because it redirects focus from the what victims need and onto what is best for him. But then we remember the context of the beating, which was Claudia asking Louis to leave Lestat. "I'm nothing without you" becomes a dogwhistle. I become something else, something terrible without you. Which wouldn't have happened if you stayed.

Reverse Victim and Offender: By calling Louis's refusal to speak to him "cruel" Lestat is doing two things. First he is framing this decision as a punishment instead of a safety measure. He cannot acknowledge that refusing contact with a person who abused you is a valid way to protect yourself and heal, because that would mean acknowledging that he is the Offender and unsafe to be around. He has to frame it as a punishment (making it about himself) so he can accuse Louis of cruel and unjust punishment. Of punishing someone who doesn't even exist anymore! He tries to control what would be an acceptable punishment "Tell me to leave" and an unacceptable punishment "This silence is cruel," and claim the latter is abuse that Louis is doing to him. So really, they're equally as bad, right?

as a side note - Lestat never once attempts to make amends with Claudia or pretend to apologize to her.

This is textbook. Between this and Daniel's remarks, the writers are giving clear signals that Lestat is still using abusive tactics to try to manipulate the terms of his relationship with Louis and Claudia. Because the writers are telling a domestic violence story.

[dragonsinthedarkness]

Lately I found myself thinking about James/Miranda relationship as a reversed version of Orpheus and Eurydice’s story, especially towards the end of it. Not because these two stories match well (they do not) but just because I like making this kind of classical comparisons and I'm stuck from a bit on the fact that, right before her death, for the first time Miranda was the one to refuse the progress to look back at the past. 

After the loss of Thomas, James let himself slip into a darkness comparable to the underworld, a darkness which so often threatened to swallow him whole. He walked on a thin line between a reign of death and an island of life, and if that darkness was that reign, Miranda was his island. 

During their whole journey of processing their grief and climbing their way back to a life that could be called such, she was the one always trying to drag him towards the light. To her, the life that might have been waiting for them in the future was that light, while the past was the darkness, and not because she deemed it forgettable or unimportant, quite the contrary indeed, but because while she knew how to keep and remember the beauty of that past and the light of it, along with the sorrow, she knew perfectly well how different it was for James. How he could remember the beauty of it, of course, but also knew how to put it aside in favor of the rage and the guilt, his gaze clouded by the pain and the unacceptable shame. 

She said it herself: she didn't want to forget that past, not the bright side of it and neither the inescapable sadness of it, its tragedy being the spring of that very beauty, the ruins existing only because there was something precious to be ruined in the first place; and at the same time, what could the dark of it matter, the injustice, the grudge, when it condemned the both of them to never be able to see the light again? 

First time I heard their discussion in ep.VII after knowing the whole story, I wondered how could she ask something like that of him, to forget and pass over what they had done to him just to gain a liveable life, but recently I've actually been wondering : how could she not?

I'm not taking any side in this, as I recognize Miranda's thoughts to be the most reasonable ones as they often are but at the same time I can't say I wouldn't act as stubbornly and desperately as James did in that situation, they're just really different ways to conceive one’s own existence, influenced by their own problems and conditions and mind. All I'm saying is that Miranda was able to see the light even if just from a distance, she was able to hope that one day they would have been able to truly see it. James was never. 

He just lied to himself about the possibility of it. He had plans and tactics and strategies, but for how I see it, those were all desperate attempts to convince himself of the contrary. He couldn't, maybe because of his personality, maybe because he knew that his situation wasn't one that could ever allow him to found real light in that world, maybe just because he loved her less than how much he had loved Thomas, less than how much she loved him, but whichever was the reason, he couldn't afford to see the light after that abyss, and I think Miranda was the first to know that. The one who knew him like no other, the one who loved him like no other. She knew that without help he would have never really been able to reach the end of that dark state of being. And she tried. She tried to help him in so many ways, because she loved him, she really did, and because she had the damn right to claim at least a decent life for herself. 

And here we come to the end, to Charles town.

Charles town could have been her success. Charles town was James’ surrender. For the first time she glimpsed one real chance of having him back, she saw in him the real intention to leave all of that darkness behind, to follow her, not leaving the past behind, never, but learning to move forward, finally allowing her a chance for a new life together. 

He was actually ready to accept even that miserable condition Peter Ashe imposed on him in order to get rid of the darkness, to climb to the light -as short lived as that might have been, at this point- to give Miranda a better alternative than the ones he had been able to grant her up until that moment (as I think his whole Charles town plan was led by the purpose of doing something to save her): as useless as we all know that would have been, accepting that bargain has probably been the most selfless thing James has ever done, even if he did it also for himself in a tired, desperate and contorted way. 

But Charles town wasn't only this to Miranda. 

Charles town was the discovery of the betrayal, because I believe she understood it all the moment she first saw that clock, I'm sure of it. Charles town was her umptheen attempt and her umptheen sacrifice. 

I think that must have been to her a similar quest to the Maria Aleyne's one: respecting James by telling him the truth, something he deserves to know, even knowing how he will react to it, knowing how impossible it would become for him, then, to go on with his plan, granting him a one way ticket to that darkness, or keeping him in the dark, bearing alone the weight of that knowledge, accepting to live with the helplessness to remedy that fatal injustice, only in the hope to finally make him reach that light?  

Would Orpheus reveal Eurydike a truth which risked pushing her back into the underworld just because it might be right for her to know it?

Still, things had been different, more desperate, back to the Maria Aleyne. Now the chance to succeed was real. 

And at first she made that difficult choice, which was selfish in a way, but definitely selfless in another, all at the same time.

And she did it because she loved him. 

She loved him so much that when she glimpsed, in that light, the prospect of losing him, she had to recognize that that light was -as James would have put it in the future- only their light, the light of a world the two of them couldn’t be part of anymore. 

She loved him so much that she had to look back. To the past, to him, because her James was still behind her, still in the dark, the only place where he was allowed to stay, and only that version of him was the one she truly loved. She loved the real James, with all his broken parts, not the one that could be seen under the lights of their lies. 

So she couldn't help giving up that false light, because she had wished for tranquility, a normal life -as probably anyone in her conditions would have done- but she was not disposed to give up the man she loved in order to gain that, as she hadn't been in the past, when the prospect of the future had been only dark and still she had not deserted the ones she loved. 

And when she turned back, this time trying to shield him from that light, the darkness at the pit ended up swallowing them both. 

Miranda died, and James was dragged back full force and imprisoned into the worst version of himself, the ruthless, autodestructive one. 

There are two versions of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, and I think that the two of them taken together perfectly represent James’ reaction to her death and its circumstances.

In Virgilius’ one, Eurydice slightly resents Orpheus for his action, for his “folly” -as it is called- and (if we may call it that) for his selfish gesture of looking back, that she paid with her second chance to be alive. 

After Miranda's death, James dreams of her reminding him how he had resented her “because they were so close” and of course since that's a dream is what he knew he had felt. But that was…collateral to the condition he had been left stuck in. That was the childish resentment of having explicitly denied something he knew deep down he couldn't have. 

In Ovidius’ one instead Eurydice doesn't blame him because she can't resent being loved, and I think this is what James really felt. After all, looking straight at the truth of the situation and looking back at their shared history, I think there were no ways for him to actually, rationally resent her. (And in fact in his last dream about her she uses a past tense, “you resented me”, hinting that was something he had felt only in the moments when he was at his worst as when, always in the dream, he heard her apology).

Moreover, I think he perfectly understood the meaning of those last moments of hers, how important it was to her to make her voice be heard in that moment. In fact, despite the clear and growing doubt and rage (and worry) on his face while Peter and Miranda spoke, he didn't say a word, he let her speak, despite knowing the risks  and I think this is amazing and just proves how beautiful and respectful their relationship was, and that there were no way he could actually deem her responsible of their failure in that mission (doomed to failure since the beginning ‘cause of the truth).

What hurts even more about her death is the fact that it looks like they got closer to each other once again during that trip, as they hadn't probably been in years, and then…everything got lost forever.

[fanmoose12]

prompts: reversal au Hange is the thug from underground

Three years.

For three years, Levi has been Erwin's faithful soldier, following his every order, bringing to life his every wish. Not once had he refused to, not once had he even considered his desicions as unreasonable.

Until... until, Levi found himself in the biggest shithole of them all, the deepest pit, the darkest corner of their already dark, grim world - the Underground. And if only, oh, if only, they came here just for a quick visit, a short outing to observe the horrible decay and abhorrent state of this place. But no - no, no, no, nothing is ever so easy with Erwin, of course not. The man always has some kind of damned agenda - a vision, as he himself calls it. And, of course, that agenda usually involves Levi and a mission he has to complete to make Erwin's wishes come to life.

None of them are all that pleasant, but, at least, they are important. In that easy, straighforward way that makes Levi feel like he's doing the right thing. That even if just a little, but he helps to make their world better, their future - a bit less grimmer.

But for the life of him, he cannot understand what Erwin's new obsession has to do with any of it. He cannot fathom how some thug from this dark and gloomy place can help them in their mission of defeating titans.

He tried asking Erwin about it, tried demanding an explanation from him, but the man is as brilliant as he is evasive, so all Levi got was a cryptic 'you'll see' and a smile, full of anticipation.

He's never questioned Erwin's methods before, though, and he's not going to start now, so Levi stops pushing and agrees to carry out the mission, trusting Erwin to, as always, see what he cannot.

And that's ultimately how he finds himself in the damned Underground, chasing some pesky four-eyed thief across the poor-lit, dirty streets. That four-eyes is good, Levi can't help but think, quick and graceful and so skilled with ODM-gear that they'd probably put the bigger part of Scouts to shame. It's no wonder that MPs couldn't catch them.

It begs the question, though - if they're that good, could they really learn it all by themself? If they truly did, then maybe Erwin isn't as mad as Levi thought him to be. If they themself figured out what most recruits spend three years perfecting, maybe they'll indeed proof to be a valuable asset to the Scouts.

Maybe, it's not a wild goose chase after all.

But his musings are brought to an abrupt end, when the thug takes a turn, changing their route. Levi shakes his head, puts it back into the chase, and even then he very nearly collides with a wall, managing to evade it by the force of sheer luck.

Damn it, he can't help but think again, they're good. And not only that - unlike Levi, who feels like he's lost in a maze of dark, nearly identical roads, they very clearly have the advantage of knowing the streets they roam through. And to top it all off, the four-eyed thug is insuferably cocky. Catching his eyes for a second, they show him a wide grin, and then trick him once again by exploiting that one second of lapse in Levi's attention and using the cables not to propel themself forward, like all normal people do, but backwards and fly right over his head.

Levi grits his teeth, a quick curse escaping out of his mouth. He's fed up with that four-eyes and their attitude. It's past time he put an end to this charade.

In a move that can't be called neither graceful, nor honorable, Levi changes tactics and instead of trying to force four-eyes into a dead end and surrender, he simply charges at them, throwing them off their rhythm. The maneuver ends with both of them losing their coordination and falling straight to the ground, but no matter how painful the fall is, Levi doesn't let it deter him. He gets to his feet right away and approaches four-eyes, ready to accept their surrender. Except-

Except they don't seem willing to grant him one. If anything, surrender appears to be the last thing on their mind. Four-eyes whips out a knife and begins advancing towards Levi with a glint in their eyes so determined that Levi subconsciously takes a step back.

He chastises himself for that action instantly. Sure, four-eyes may appear scary, and, maybe, their knowledge of how to use the ODM gear is slightly above the average, but Levi is a scout, he' faced countless enemies, far bigger and that much more deadlier than some scrawny thug that is dressed rugs.

However, they turn out to be much more faster than Levi expected and have him on his back before he can even make his move. Then, to make the matters so much worse, they press a knife to his throat and smirk down at him.

"Not that brave and mighty now, are we?" they ask in a deep, nearly velvety voice that definitely has no effect on Levi. No, none whatsoever. He just didn't imagine their voice to be so... attractive. And neither did he imagine that their eyes are so pretty from this close.

He grunts and shakes his head, forcing those silly thoughts away, then grabs the hand that holds a knife and twists it until four-eyes yelps and drops it.

Levi doesn't waste another moment and pushes his elbow into their face, hitting their jaw. Four-eyes nearly falls off him, but catches themself at the very last moment.

For that, Levi kicks them once again.

Yet, despite or, maybe, in spite of it, four-eyes still doesn't yield.

They grab Levi by the collar of his shirt, yanking roughly at it, but, luckily, before the two of them start tossing in a dirt like a pair of naughty children, Erwin appears on the scene .

His arrival startles four-eyes, allowing Levi to finally gain the upper hand, push their arms behind their back and slap handcuffs onto their wrists.

Levi stands up, with as much dignity as he can muster at the moment, considering that he's covered in dust in sand. He gives a nod to Erwin, pointedly ignoring the burning hatred reflected in the lenses of four-eyes' glasses.

Erwin approaches them, thankfully - not commenting on either of their appearences.

"Hange Zoe, right?" he asks four-eyes with a warm and surprisingly genuine smile. He kneels next to them, not once taking his eyes off them. Levi can't quite understand if Erwin is as wary of them as he rightfully should be, or if he's simply that fascinated by them. "You're the one, who broke into MP's compound, right?"

"So what?" Hange retorts sharply, jerking their head to the side to push the fallen bangs out of their face. "You've come here to arrest me? Since when MPs send Scouts to do their job for them?"

"You've got quite creative back then," Erwin remarks, as though he hasn't heard a single word they've said. "Or so I've heard. I've also heard that you didn't steal food or money - although both were in abundance there. You've stolen books instead. Most of them about the outside world. I can't help but wonder why."

"And what's in it for you?"

"For me?" Erwin shakes his head. "Not much. But for you - I offer a chance to not just read about our world in the books, but to see it with your own eyes."

Levi clicks his tongue, when he sees four-eyes' mouth fall open in a silent gasp. They stare at Erwin with wide, full of wonder eyes. There is no trace of hatred or even animosity left inside them. Levi would have found that sudden change irritating, if - unfortunately - he wasn't just as susceptible to Erwin's charms.

Erwin gives him a sign, and although Levi is quite wary to follow carry out the silent command, he does it all the same. He takes off the handcuffs and as soon as he does, Erwin offers his hand to Hange, with same disturbingly kind smile plastered on his face.

"I'm Erwin Smith," he says smoothly. "Care to join the Scouts?"

Hange hesitates, but only for a moment. And then they clasp Erwin's hand, mirroring his smile with one of their own.

___

Hange fits right in in Survey Corps.

Although lacking the most essential skill of wielding the twin blades and unable to effectively take down even the titan dummy, they work relentlessly to get better. And at pretty much everything else - they excel. During their first training, they prove once again just how good they are at using ODM gear, they're great in individual sparrings too, even if they do tend to use a few dirty tricks that most Scouts don't know how to parry, and they turn to be absolutely brilliant when it comes to theoretical aspects of their line of work. Erwin himself lectures them, and when he's too busy to, Mike or Nanaba take it upon themselves. And all of them agree that Hange is as smart as they come.

That doesn't seem to be enough for them, however, as Levi spots them with their nose buried in a book with nearly worrying frequency.

And when they do not train or study, they occupy themself with exploring the world around them. They appear to be completely smitten with their new reality - in mornings, they wander around the woods or examine the nearby garden, and at nights Levi sees them climb up on a roof to stare at the night sky with an utter bliss written all over their face.

It seems that Hange enjoys their new life to the fullest. The only thing that brings them grievance, the one aspect they appear to be struggling with is their relationships with other soldiers. They get along just fine with members of Erwin's inner circle - Nanaba and Mike seem to already adore them, Erwin is no less delighted by their company, even shares his plans and asks for their input, and Levi, although, reluctant and doubtful at first, can't help but respect the newest addition to their regiment.

The others, though - the others do everything in their power to show their distain for Hange and the place they've come from. They scoff and wince when Hange passes them by, they call them names - sometimes just behind their back, but more often than not - directly to their face. Some of the younger recruits even try pulling pranks on Hange a few times - all of them excessively cruel, in Levi's opinion.

He does his best to intervene and makes all participants clean the stables for a week, if not more, even though Hange never actually falls victim to the vicious jokes.

Hange themself tries to repay the animosity directed at them with unbridled friendliness and kindness. They laugh all insults off, dismiss each of Erwin's attempt to interfere, they do their best to appear completely unaffacted by how others treat them.

Even so, Levi sees right through their facade. He sees their fists that tremble from anger, he sees the strained smile and tears that sometimes appear in the corner of Hange's eyes.

He feels bad for them, they don't at all deserve this hatred. Their past is less than perfect, sure, and they probably did some bad things in the past, but bad actions are not always done by bad people. Despite their so very unpleasant first meeting, Hange still strikes Levi as a good person. One, who perhaps, made a few bad choices, but one, who did not do it out of greed or wickedness, but out of pure need to survive. Levi - or anyone else - can't possibly hold them accountable for that.

Besides, they are not a thug from the Underground anymore, they're a Scout, fighting for the better future alongside other soldiers, and they do their best to do what they can to get better, stronger.

Isn't it a proof that they're inherently good? Why others cannot see what he does? What Levi can do to change their minds?

An opportunity to do so arises when he catches three recruits corner Hange in the backyard. And, naturally, as soon as Levi sees it, he hurries to the rescue.

His fists clench tightly, when one of the recruits, the tallest and most dumb-looking one gets in Hange's face and starts shouting at them. And his anger spikes further when he notices the infuriating smirks on the faces of his friends.

Levi hurries his step, but halts, when Hange grips one of the guys by the arm and twists it until he cries out and falls to his knees.

The gleeful expressions are gone in an instant, fear resurfacing instead, and the fools scutter, as soon as Hange lets go of their friend.

Levi stares at four-eyes, impressed in spite of himself. The guy was twice their size, and yet, they had no trouble in overpowering him. They didn't as much as break a sweat.

It momentarily makes him wonder - was Hange holding back during their first meeting?

He means to leave the scene, now that his assistant is evidently no longer needed - although, it hardly seems like it was actually needed in the first place, but Hange catches him look at them, waves a hand at him, and Levi is forced to take a step forward, instead of backwards like he was meaning to. After all, should he attempt to flee now, he'd look an ever bigger creep.

As he approaches, Hange gives him a smile, so unlike the one they've given him during their first meeting - this one is far more cheerful, devoid of all sharp edges.

"Enjoyed the show?" they ask, leaning slightly forward to look into his eyes.

"I really hope that guy didn't piss himself just now. I'm in charge of the laundry this week."

"Ah, sorry!" Hange chuckles. "And thanks."

Levi tilts his head quizzically. "For what? Doing your laundry?"

"For wanting to deal with them yourself. That was your intention, right?"

Levi neither confirms, nor denies, decides to ignore the question entirely. Hange has already figured the answer after all.

"You should never do something like that again," he says, not unkindly. "Disputes among recruits is not something Shadis approves of."

"But what if someone is a real asshole?"

Levi allows himself a tiny smirk. "Then, when teaching them a lesson, make sure no one's there to witness it."

Hange hums, their face pensive for a moment, before it breaks out in a radiant smile. "Thanks for the advice!" they smack him amicably on a shoulder. "That was very nice of you."

"I'm not-" Levi tries to argue, but Hange carries on right over him. "You're really kind, I appreciate it."

"I'm not kind," Levi denies with a scowl on his face. "I'm just... decent."

"Well, you tried to protect me, and that's after I've pressed a knife to your throat. From where I come from, that's called kindness."

Levi scoffs. "You're the one to talk then. You had a knife to my throat, and yet you didn't hurt me. That was kind. And a bit stupid," he adds, forcing a chuckle out of Hange.

"Well, I'm sure you too could do much more than just kick me. Your fist probably could smash my head in two. And yet you didn't even bruise me. So..."

"We're both stupid?"

Hange laughs once again. "Maybe," they agree with a slight nod. "And that's precisely why... we should be friend!"

Before he can reply or even react to that what they've just said, Hange wraps an arm around his shoulders with a giddy smile on their face. Looking at it, Levi can't find it in himself to push them away.

Let them have this moment, he thinks, surely, they deserve so much more than just a brief bit of happiness.

"I'll think about it," he replies to their offer, doing his best to hide all fondness from his voice. "But only after you take a bath."

"Aww," Hange whines in a way that must sound absolutely pathetic, and yet - Levi finds it kind of adorable instead. "Do I smell so bad?"

"Even worse," he says dryly, but despite his tone and his no doubt mean words, Hange doesn't appear at all slighted. If anything, they look even more cheerful than before.

"Fine then!" they exclaim just a bit too loudly. "If a bath is what I have to go through to earn your friendship, I'll do it. But! You have to walk me there."

Again, Levi doesn't deny them, despite hanging out with a weirdo not being a part of his plan for the evening.

Another bath sounds good, after all, especially after a day spent on the training grounds. And a new friend - that sounds even better.

[blk-chauvinist]

Don’t fall for this banana in the tailpipe...

[vhokken]

For folks that don't know me, I'm going to give a brief explanation for some nasty comments you might see under my posts:

I was in a couple of unhealthy relationships over the past three years, the result of which ended with me being emotionally manipulated and abused, as well as physically. Among them (a total of four that I am collectively referring to as The Exes) were a variety of personalities that were not healthy for the relationships, such as unmanaged narcissism and BPD, as well as other things that are not my place to share. I will not be sharing names, because at least one of The Exes is convinced I am sending people to harass them, when in reality, I am the one being targeted by their friends.

For your information, anyone who may be reading this:

DARVO is a technique used primarily by narcissistic personalities (but can be found in other forms of abuse), and it stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender. It is among the most common ways narcissists get their way. First, they deny the problem, then attack their victim with slightly relevant information (typically twisted to push their agenda), then privately and publicly switch their roles to seem like the victim.

As of this moment, three of The Exes are using this tactic. Neither of them acknowledge their wrongdoings, and I have proof of both their actions and of my innocence, but I simply want to keep my peace. I do not wish to engage with these people, and if you know their social medias or are close to them, I would be grateful if you were to question what they tell you is true, and do not engage. Do not harass them, do not engage, and just leave them to their own way.

The subjects of the DARVO tactics being used against me are as follows, so that you know what to look out for:

Gaslighting, emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, body shaming(in this case, I was not body shamed, I am simply being accused of it), sexual assault, sexual harassment, coercion, monetary abuse, ableism (I *am* disabled), stalking, false accusations, sending people to harass/attack others, and transphobia (I am *also* trans).

I do not appreciate folks coming on to my page unprompted to drop a vague and uninformed/misinformed attack on me. I know that when given proper proof of the situation in full, the people currently harassing me would realize their mistake, but I do not have the time nor energy to type out a full timeline at this moment. Please critically think about what you are being told and what conveniently cropped screenshots you may be shown. I do have complete proof, around 50 screenshots, if not more, but releasing them would label me an instigator, despite my attempts to leave these folks in peace.

I do not want to cause drama, I do not want to be involved in it. I have not forgiven The Exes for their actions, but neither do I want them to be harassed for it.

TDLR: I have some nasty exes and their friends leaving rude and frankly incorrect comments and messages on my page. Please leave me alone. Stop sending people to harass me, because I've never done that to you, and harassing people over claims you know are false is life ruining. If you know who I am referring to, leave them be, block them, whatever, just leave them alone, and don't give them the attention they're craving.

[thewolfisawake]

Guess I'm putting my own timeline of physical appearance/characteristic of Bal at different times of life. It's also to help me know when some things started to show up.

Smol Bal:

Considered the timeframe after leaving Faolan (young child to child)

They/them is used as Bal had no concept of gender

Very much uncivilized and ignorant of normal language

Speaks fragmented sentences and often makes 'weird noises' (this is technically 'language' of insects, which obviously sounds different verbalized)

Always unglamored

Hair longer than their body, unkempt and adorned with leaves and flowers

Both eyes have more of a 'glow' to them, being faintly illuminated in the dark

Very timid yet curious and immensely naive

Mimics a lot of beings around them

Snowdrop:

The time that Bal was in the brothel (childhood)

Used they/she mainly because they were mainly around women.

Kinda a crybaby, having felt sadness for the first time and it's still the strongest feeling to them

Understands more of how vocalize their thoughts into words

Completely glamored though not happy about it

Sensitivity about their hair

Hair is at the bottom of their shoulder blades, adorned with pretty baubles

Their eyes are just blue and gray due to being in constant glamor

Still naive with curiosity turned to observance

A rough charismatic presence as they learn from the ladies how charm customers

Young Bal:

The time after the brothel, basically street urchin (childhood to teens)

No preference in pronouns as everyone calls them whatever

F E R A L

They have felt betrayal again and instead of sadness, they just feel rage

Oscillates between a temper and keeping the 'sweet' disposition others liked

Kinda went on a spree of doing bad things

Struggling with their hunger (peak of putting stuff barely or not considered edible in their mouth).

Where most of the casual/'rougher' way of speaking comes from

Starts taking seriously 'by any means'/'to be used' ideals

Pessimistic but secretly longs for there to be good

'Talk to the moon' in the sense that they view the colored threads, particularly the one they grabbed, as motivation to get through their days

Time where they are constantly learning new skills, words, places, etc

A diamond in the rough sort of charm, still working on their eloquence

They do not unglamor, thus still blue and gray eyes

Hair is mid-back, very nice despite their rough surroundings

Early Militia/Pre-Mhoirbheinn:

What it says on the tin

Stronger preference for he/him but still not upset by any other pronouns

Shameless af

Still has a temper, just not feral in response. Unhinged though...

Coming into the personality known more in present

Starting more of their tactical and ambitious mindset

Usually multitasking and spends a lot of nights practicing

Occasional problems with hunger

Above leads to their reputation as the 'camp whore'

More realist than pessimist (if choosing to do impossible can still be apart of that)

Really getting into that eloquence

Hair ends up just at the hips although usually up

Starts unglamoring eyes every so often

Past this point, Bal is a lot the personality and presence in the present. But random points that might be of note:

Bal leaves eyes unglamored basically all the time after starting his friendship with Mhoirbheinn. It's not because of Mhoirbheinn but it did occur after him.

The fight with the commander had Bal cut his hair back down to the bottom of his shoulder blades and he's grown it and cut it several times since

Bal had a much worse temper when he was in the militia than current. So he's mellowed.

At some point there was eye switching which also is left unglamored.

Both the uneasy relation of being close to Mhoirbheinn and seducing the commander as well as the fight over Bal's jealousy gave form to a sense of shame.

While he's been lusted over and 'wined and dined,' Bal had never been looked at with love and thus acted oblivious/weird when it was presented to him.

The reversion had the pale part of his hair spread much further than it usually did and he decided to keep it glamored until it was...not like that?

His overflow of his aspect actually never showed up until he started being friends with Mhoirbheinn. He was able manifest bits of ice occasionally but it only grew more sophisticated with their continued friendship and his own understanding

He still had hunger issues within the militia that was exacerbated by Bal hiding how large his appetite was because it would damage his reputation as 'weak' or 'dainty.' This does shift eventually.

Bal had to be submissive in a lot of the relations at the time, which leads to his pretty much only dominant role when he throws away the commander.

[datastate]

You said (not outright but implied) that reverse oppression isn't real, but do you think anyone can be racist?

Because you said dni if one thinks that reverse oppression exists and I don't think it does, but I do think that anyone regardless of race can be racist towards anyone else (white people included), can I interact or do I fall into the same category? I'm genuinely asking because I've seen people thinking both ways. Sorry in case I couldn't interact but I thought it was better to ask rather than assume.

Sorry for the long ask too and have a nice day :)

hello! thank you for asking first. the tl;dr is that (at a glance) 'yes, i'd rather not have you interact' - but i will give benefit of the doubt and explain my own reasoning as to why i used 'oppression' specifically, as this gets into more particular importance of phrasing. if you find you agree with me, great! but regardless i hope this sheds some light on what i meant.

now i do fully acknowledge that white people have employed tactics among themselves to rid or suppress other european ethnicities within themselves (irish, celtic, etc. are examples that immediately come to mind), putting systems in place to keep them from thriving/succeeding in their territories.

however, even within these contexts of 'white cultures', oppressed peoples often grow up to hold biases against their oppressors. whether it's for safety, a natural grudge born of the environment they're forced to live in, and so on. it doesn't necessarily have to be learned from one's parents, or community's belief, as poc who were adopted into white families will still inevitably experience discrimination. even among "poc's cultures" (used ironically. though this is how many americans see it; in poc/white, one or the other view... that's a whole other issue, though), colorism is so rampant.

from my own experience as a filipino, sometimes they're aware of it but they simply don't. care abt regurgitating it. my grandmother often encouraged my father to find a white (or passing) wife, and now does the same for me - simultaneously prideful abt being filipino but wanting to hush it. she loves filipino languages very much, but i've only picked up broken bits and pieces of cebuano (and tagalog, when extended family visits) because they didn't want to raise any new generation in this country with an accent. frankly put, everyone knows it's because western culture tends to devalue visible poc & implicitly shame wp poc for being a snake (yellow in white cloth; i have literally only heard this from white people's mouths, other poc are often normal abt it lol) or, put simply, either disliking or fetishizing the fact they're often mixed. but i digress!

my main point is that this is also the result of what those systems have done, even internally stirring this conflict. in exploiting others' land/resources, abusing others for slavery, material propaganda to justify slaughter, etc. etc. many people now see poc as a resource ('third world' states, the stereotypical low-wage work, or. for pleasure) or will use them as a scapegoat. and even those in government positions who attempt to do better can't make any proper attempt to stop systemic discrimination and would instead have to work toward dismantling the laws put in place to begin to make any difference at all. i will not get into my personal feelings on this topic, but it's simply the truth that many governments were built upon oppressing the 'undesired' voices. not only in disallowing them agency, or voting - but going as far as to have those in low-income areas to have subpar academia (the inevitable for recently released american slaves, and even now it's a struggle on indigenous reservations; people there will send their children to another culture's reserve if they feel the education is better, despite the disconnect it causes) as to keep them from being literate. without literacy, much of the world feels inaccessible ... let alone having the chance to change the laws used to oppress them, meaning that 'standard' stayed much longer than it should've & was and is consistently reinforced.

but, as i'm sure you feel, this doesn't apply to daily life. & in my experience, it often doesn't, beyond the occasional riff at white people or my friends kidding about our own ethnicites among each other (ie. someone being 'a fake hispanic for not having spice tolerance... tch.' though the tone there is much different and light-hearted); honestly, even then these sorts of interactions are rare enough i forget we have them - it's usually left unacknowledged entirely. people usually want to have nice interactions with each other, even if they are only neighbors or outright strangers, and leave it at that.

but when it gets bad, it is often life-threatening. because beyond a one-off fight, or even bullying (though this can be escalated) - people who decide to take initiative for hate-crime don't view us as people. or at least, not beings on that same level, worthy of living.

i know much of this has been focused upon racial dynamics, but i will say this point of my dni also applies to those who believe 'cisphobia' or 'heterophobia' is real, or who claim misandry, and so on. these are all targeted demographics that have been repeatedly dehumanized and berated, with everything we need to live often being cut from us (job opportunities, housing and medical aid, general quality of life).

white people don't 'benefit' much more than any normal person should - they deserve that standard! god, of course they do, everyone does. but it's the fact that marginalized people are repeatedly denied these basics that creates that gap of white privilege on a much larger level than they even realize. i wouldn't go so far as to say every white person is racist, but there is that constant of them having racist biases - the average person generally tries to realize that and work to change their mindset! which is really good, but. honestly, you could be the most understanding person, and still be valued over poc through no choice of your own. all that matters is what you intend to do with it. usually only activists make the 'active' effort to do something with this, with most not being pushed to recognize the dissonance and, even if they do, don't often act either way because they have their own problems to deal with.

but it can be horribly manipulated. racist white people will abuse this power (& often feel entitled to it) to 'punch down', having never suffered the worst of the consequences (just off the top of my head, one of my black friends was forcibly arrested (& bruised during it) for another girl claiming he had a knife on him (he didn't) after he tried asking her out; meanwhile another white boy was allowed to carry a gun on his person while the police on campus were. casually talking to him before they took him in. they eventually confiscated it, but it was on his person for so long. this was the same campus. the same police team. it's ridiculous. they are not at all held to the same standards of 'dangerous') -- they can get away without being punished as much as poc are, and only cursory research can show you other documented examples i'm sure, as well as this same behavior being something white activists make use of.

this has gotten extremely long-winded, but. the gist of this is just: marginalized people often have biases against their oppressors due to historical abuse & the remnants of that in how present-day society functions -- and the harm the oppressors can do with their privilege is not comparable to individual instances of said marginalized people bullying others who happen to be white/cis/het/etc. (though that's obviously still shitty, it's a minor scale issue, not. life-changing for everyone who is [x], and as such it has other terms for its harassment that wouldn't fall in line with things like racist/homophobic/ableist motivation). i hope this makes sense!

[the-archlich]

Dynasty Warriors: Who Is Xu Sheng

Although it wouldn't be correct to call Xu Sheng an obscure figure, he's certainly not one of Wu's most famous commanders. There are, however, a few interesting things to be said about him.

Xu Sheng doesn’t have an especially big footprint in 3K fiction. Like a lot of 3K figures he’s been an NPC in Dynasty Warriors for a long, long time and an officer in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series. His stats in the latter are generally above average, so that’s nice for him.

He was never your first choice for something but it never hurt to have him along for the ride and he’s one of the better “late game” officers. He doesn’t really have a presence outside of these games, so there’s not much to talk about in this section.

All things considered, then, I was pretty surprised when they added him as a playable character in DW9. As is usually the case with Xu Sheng he wouldn’t have been my first choice but it’s not a decision I could really complain about, either. The most active part of his career overlaps nicely with the portion of Wu’s history DW cares about and he was certainly an accomplished individual, so it’s a solid choice.

I don’t really think I have anything to say about Xu Sheng in DW9, though. He gets the moments you’d expect if you have any familiarity with him, but outside of that he’s mostly a background figure. I can’t identify any particular personality traits he has or character motivations. I’d like to see him as a more dynamic figure but with what we got, I don’t have a lot to talk about.

Someone with more passion for Xu Shu wrote in anonymously and gave me their opinion. I’ll share it here because I don’t have any opinions of my own to give about his DW9 characterization.

Xu Sheng's DW9 Characterization: He doesn’t have much of a massive presence aside from the Guangling Fake Wall thing. But from some of his lines in 9 Vanilla and Empires, he feels more like a reverse Wang Yi. He developed PTSD from losing Xu Province, but instead of going all vengeance mode, he tries to be a better person and defend Wu as an atonement for losing his homeland. He does have moments of lapsed judgement like him doubting on Zhou Tai because pirate bad but made up in ZT's ending.

I think KT wants Xu Sheng to be more like Wu's version of Guan Xing and Li Dian where they wanted smarterish warriors? Though he also is heavy on Japan's love for "gap moe '' where he has lines where he likes sweets and he cries when he feels an extreme emotion worthy of it like accomplishment or gratefulness or loss. Also they fucked up the Fake Wall story in that everyone in Wu was on board with the tactic instead of being Sheng's "fuck you did it anyway" thing.

Make of that what you will. For now we’ll move on to Xu Sheng in the Yanyi. Xu Sheng is first mentioned in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms as an officer who joins Sun Quan prior to Chibi.[1]

During the campaign, Zhou Yu sends him and Ding Feng to capture and kill Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang anticipated this and isready with a fast boat. When Xu Sheng’s ship draws near, Zhao Yun shoots the rope holding its sail, which allows Zhuge Liang’s to get away and intimidates Sun Quan’s officers into not following. Ding Feng shrugs it off saying,“Zhuge Liang is too clever for anyone; and Zhao Zilong is the bravest of the brave.” Later, Xu Sheng and Ding Feng serve as Zhou Yu’s guards during the fire attack.[2]

Xu Sheng next appears at the siege of Jiangling, acting as an assistant to the general Jiang Qin. Although bested in battle twice by Cao Ren, he plays a key role in eventually defeating his army in the field.[3] Later, he and Ding Feng are involved in an entirely fictitious attempt to capture Liu Bei at his wedding with Lady Sun but are shamed by the lady into letting the couple pass. They subsequently join up with Zhou Yu and pursue Liu Bei but are unsuccessful.[4]

Xu Sheng returns as a commander at Hefei. There, he plays a noteworthy role in extracting Sun Quan from danger.[5] He gets to have a significant moment of glory in the subsequent battle at Ruxu, where he leads a daring strike against Li Dian. Although initially successful he is soon surrounded and in danger of being killed. Fortunately, he is rescued by Zhou Tai and both emerge heavily wounded.[6]

Following this, Xu Sheng has a consistent presence in Sun Quan’s campaigns against Liu Bei. He plays a small role in Lü Meng’s operations against Guan Yu, where he is once again working with Ding Feng.[7] They serve as Lu Xun’s guards during the operations in Yidu. In one incident they are taunted by Wu Ban and want to fight him, but Lu Xun correctly predicts it is a trap and restrains them so they do not fall into an ambush.[8]

Xu Sheng’s biggest moment of glory comes in chapter 86, which is inspired by Cao Pi’s Guangling Expeditions. When word reaches Sun Quan that Cao Pi is invading in the east with a large army, Xu Sheng volunteers to meet them.[9] In an earlier chapter, he objects to Sun Quan accepting a title from Cao Pi, considering it a shameful humiliation.[10]

Xu Sheng immediately begins preparing to meet Cao Pi’s army but has some trouble with his subordinate Sun Shao. The latter objects to Xu Sheng’s decision to take a defensive position, to the point where Xu Sheng orders his execution. Sun Quan soon arrives and rescinds the order. Instead of apologizing for his disobedience, though, Sun Shao crosses the river to fight Cao Pi, completely disobeying all instructions. Xu Sheng is aware that Sun Quan has a fondness for Sun Shao, so he sends Ding Feng to rescue him.[11]

Once Cao Pi’s army arrives, Xu Sheng erects false walls in the night, manned by scarecrows. In the morning, Cao Pi thinks that Xu Sheng raised an entire fortress in one night and decides to retreat. During the retreat, he is ambushed first by Sun Shao and then by Ding Feng, as Xu Sheng planned. Cao Pi narrowly escapes but Zhang Liao is wounded by Ding Feng and dies shortly after.[12]

Xu Sheng gets one last bit of glory during the battle at Shi’ting, where Lu Xun has him lead the vanguard. He defeats Cao Xiu’s general Zhang Pu and almost captures Cao Xiu before being fended off by Jia Kui’s army.[13] His death is not mentioned in the novel, but that goes for most people.

On the whole, Xu Sheng is depicted as a relatively powerful warrior, though not quite on the same level as men like Zhao Yun or Cao Ren. His bravery is beyond criticism, though, and he’s also rather clever. Zhou Yu, Lü Meng, and Lu Xun all entrust him with vital tasks and he usually pulls them off. He is nearly always found with Ding Feng.

It’s that last part that strikes me as the strangest thing about the fictionalized Xu Sheng. I can find nothing to suggest that they shared any particular closeness. The two were not related, by blood or marriage, nor were they from the same homeland. While there are points where their careers overlapped, the same can be said for dozens of Sun Quan’s prominent officers. Linking the two of them together is kind of a random choice. It seems to come out of nowhere.

Honestly, though, I think that might be a good angle to lean into. Ding Feng doesn’t have too many other people in the Wu cast to really interact with so playing up a friendship between him and Xu Sheng might give them both a more emotional connection to the narrative.

The fictionalization of Xu Sheng’s life does hit most of the key points, though there are a few interesting bits that I think get lost in the background.

Originally from Langye in Xu province, he fled to Wu when everything fell apart in the north. There, he became known for his personal valor. Sometime after 200, Sun Quan gave Xu Sheng independent command over a small force and tasked him with protecting Chaisang from Huang Zu. During this time, he distinguished himself by defeating Huang Zu’s son Huang She in a battle at Chaisang despite being badly outnumbered. He was promoted to a colonel and rounded out his early career by suppressing some mountain bandits in Lincheng. After this he became one of Sun Quan’s personal generals, with some supervisory duties.[14]

For the next several years, Xu Sheng was highly active in the campaigns conducted between the Huai and Jiang rivers. In 213 he helped defend Ruxu from Cao Cao and remained with the garrison there. Xu Sheng was badly wounded in the fighting at Hefei and even lost his favorite spear (though it was later returned to him by He Qi). In 217 he was at Ruxu again. A storm found him stranded on the enemy side of the river, and Xu Sheng boldly led a sortie from the ships to protect them until the wind died down and allowed him to return to friendly shores.[15] This last incident appears to be the source of his heroics against Li Dian during the same battle in the Yanyi.[16]

As in the novel he did fight in the defense against Liu Bei in Yidu. In that chapter, as noted earlier, he is taunted by Wu Ban and almost falls into an ambush, though Lu Xun restrains him.[17] This is actually very close to the truth. Wu Ban did attempt to draw Wu officers into an ambush during the fighting at Yiling but Lu Xun restrained his men. Xu Sheng is not specifically mentioned but the dissatisfaction was widespread and it’s a fair bet that he was one of those who wanted to be more aggressive. Time, of course, proved Lu Xun’s caution wise.[18] Xu Sheng did, however, earn appreciable merit in the decisive battle that forced Liu Bei’s retreat.[19]

After Cao Pi took the throne, he sent an envoy to make Sun Quan King of Wu. Xu Sheng was outraged at seeing Sun Quan be given this title as though he were a mere underling and made a great show of his displeasure. The Wei envoy noted that with men like Xu Sheng, Wu would not remain subservient for long.[20] This is a scene that is repeated almost exactly in the Romance.[21] True to this prediction, Sun Quan soon revolted against Cao Pi and the two went to war. During the subsequent Great River Campaign (222–223), Xu Sheng gave distinguished service defending Dongpu from Cao Xiu. During this campaign he was shipwrecked by a storm for the second time, making him a man with remarkably bad luck.[22]

Xu Sheng is most famous for his exploits during Cao Pi’s Guangling Expeditions (224–225), and for good reason. The Yanyigives an exaggerated account of this (as it is wont to do) but it’s easy to recognize the truthful foundation upon which the fictionalization is based.

Cao Pi’s attack from Guangling in 224 was unexpected, since it was very difficult to cross the river there, as subsequent events proved. Sun Quan’s defenses were thus weak in the area. Although he was able to quickly assemble a fleet to intercept Cao Pi, the land-based defenses were still soft. Xu Sheng came up with the plan to erect false walls to make the defenses look stronger and deter an assault. His plan did fool Cao Pi’s scouts. Finding the defenses stronger than anticipated, Cao Pi withdrew.[23]

The Yanyi also adds in the story of the disobedient Sun Shao and his ambushing Cao Pi in retreat. The novel depicts Sun Shao as valiant but impetuous and young. In reality, Sun Shao was almost 40 years old at the time of the Guangling expeditions and had been defending the region south of Guangling for almost 20 years.[24]

During Cao Pi’s return in 225, Sun Shao dispatched a raiding party against Cao Pi’s headquarters under one Gao Shou. They were able to capture some of Cao Pi’s imperial regalia, which was a great humiliation to the Wei army.[25] There is, however, no indication that he was acting against orders, had conflict with Xu Sheng, or that the raid resulted in the heavy casualties mentioned in the novel. There is also no mention of Ding Feng.

Xu Sheng passed away sometime between 224 and 228, slightly before his disappearance form the novel.[26]

On the whole it’s a solid career. He gave distinguished service in most of the key battles during his lifetime. He was a skilled fighter with impressive bravery, and he has no record of any untoward personal conduct. While perhaps not Wu’s most dynamic commander, there’s nothing in his history anyone could fault him for.

It is hard to get a sense of who Xu Sheng was from his biography, though. Aside from listing his battles and achievements there isn’t much known. There aren’t any little anecdotes from his personal life or comments on his personality. I guess I can’t fault DW9 too badly, then. Even if they were looking at the same things I am, there isn’t much to be found.

Still, there are a couple threads I’d be interested to see future incarnations of Xu Sheng pull on. The fact that he was so unlucky as to be shipwrecked twice seems like something a writer could lean into. And while his friendship with Ding Feng and function as a guard for important commanders are both fictional aspects of Xu Sheng’s life, that’s no problem for Dynasty Warriors and they would serve well to give him a firmer place in the overall Wu army. It’s some food for thought anyway.

In a lot of ways, you could say Xu Sheng is the perfect example of the typical military officer. He fought frequently and fought well, displaying both courage and cunning. While not dazzling like some of his contemporaries, it’s hard to find someone more reliable. Men such as him are the foundation of any successful state.

Endnotes

SGYY 38

SGYY 49

SGYY 51

SGYY 55–56

SGYY 67

SGYY 68

SGYY 75–76

SGYY 83–84

SGYY 86

SGYY 82

SGYY 86

SGYY 86

SGYY 96

SGZ 55.10

For more on these incidents, see https://classicalamateur.wordpress.com/2020/10/31/the-huai-jiang-campaigns/

As seen in SGYY 68

SGYY 84

SGZ 58.1

SGZ 55.10

SGZ 55.10

SGYY 82

See https://classicalamateur.wordpress.com/2020/07/17/riverine-warfare-in-the-three-kingdoms/ for an account of this portion of the campaign.

SGZ 55.10; see also https://classicalamateur.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/the-guangling-expeditions/

SGZ 51.9

Wu Lu, SGZ 47

SGZ 55.10

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

behind the collection: Whistle in the Dark

[[contains spoilers for the first two installments in the collection]]

so I have been working on this story a lot lately, and I wanted to go more in depth on a few things that I feel are important to touch on (especially in the second part, What We Did Not Heed). Initially I was going to talk about it in the note at the end, but I felt like it needed to be more visible/accessible than that.

I am going to be discussing things related to married!fem!OC's past with her father/brother as well as current happenings with her husband Matthew. These include discussions of abuse, manipulation, etc, so please continue with caution if those topics are difficult for you:

It took me a while to update the second part because I wanted to make sure I was giving the themes of the story the thoughtfulness they deserve. I want to discuss aspects of abuse that married!fem!OC has been dealing with and just starting to understand.

The main concept for this latest installment was DARVO.

DARVO, meaning “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender,” summarizes a consistent reaction and manipulation tactic used by perpetrators of abuse or other types of wrongdoing.1 It works by shifting the focus away from the original issue and attacking the actual victim. It attempts to switch the roles of victim and perpetrator to allow the actual offender to receive sympathy and compassion, publicly or privately, as well as to avoid consequences for their actions.

In the second part, we see that Matthew has taken control of the narrative and has attributed his wrongdoings to married!fem!OC. He has downplayed/denied the extent of his infidelity's impact, become more verbally and emotionally abusive, and has now worked to destroy her reputation and credibility.

This is a very real phenomenon that happens every day, and such a twisted part of it is when you're in the midst of a relationship with that dynamic you often don't even realize how bad it's become. This is the situation we find married!fem!OC in.

She has also been the victim of several manipulation tactics from Matthew including but not limited to:

Gaslighting Gaslighting is all about making you question yourself, including your memory, your trust in yourself, your sanity, what you’re feeling, and even your own identity. This often shows up as the abuser calling you “crazy” or manipulating situations to instill doubt in yourself. A manipulator does this so you eventually automatically trust and do what they say without question, giving them ultimate control.

Controlling Your Life The goal of all manipulation is to increase control, but outside of controlling how you feel and behave, a manipulator can actually shape what your life and daily activities look like. This can include controlling access to your money (financial abuse), preventing you from furthering your education, or even restricting what friends you can and cannot spend time with. A manipulator’s goal in controlling your daily activities is to make sure you feel like you cannot function or make decisions without them.

Name-Calling A manipulator will often label the victim’s personality traits or behaviors with negative verbiage. The purpose of this is to make the victim believe they are less than, and to subtly convince them that they aren’t worthy of better treatment. This often starts in small, less offensive ways, and builds in intensity and frequency as the victim becomes more and more accustomed to the name-calling.

Playing on Insecurities Unfortunately, emotional manipulators are highly skilled at noticing a person’s insecurities and intensifying them.6 At the core of this, a manipulator targets a person’s sense of shame, which is an internalized feeling of inadequacy. Since shame is a painful emotion that most people automatically try to avoid, triggering this encourages them to comply with the manipulator to avoid feeling it in the future. Rickeman states, “The most common tactic is for someone to learn your unique triggers or sensitivities and use those against you. Some people are naturally very good at studying you and learning exactly what buttons to press to manipulate you. For example, if you had a childhood where you didn’t feel important because you had a selfish or self-absorbed parent, accusing you of being selfish would be an excellent manipulation tactic. This is because it will press on a deep childhood wound and so you will question yourself and be motivated to do what it takes not to appear selfish.”

The Silent Treatment While it’s normal for a person to emotionally and verbally shut down if they’re experiencing emotional overwhelm (sometimes called “emotional flooding”), it can also be used intentionally as a manipulation tactic. A manipulator will shut down communication and connection as a form of punishment. This can include withholding affection, any form of communication, and intimacy.

Passive-Aggressiveness Passive-aggressive communication is when someone says or indicates something without outright saying what they mean. This can take many forms, including sarcasm, pouting, or backhanded compliments. This keeps the victim in a constant pattern of monitoring, guessing, and trying to anticipate/adjust to the manipulator’s moods and reactions. Ultimately, this keeps the focus – and the power – on the manipulator, so that the victim doesn’t have time and attention to evaluate their own feelings in the relationship.

Being Dismissive or Diminishing When their victim makes a valid contribution in group discussions or has a success, a manipulator can react with a dismissing or diminishing comment in order to maintain control. This can look like giving reasons for why the success was not earned, or why their victim’s valid comment is unworthy of others’ attention and consideration.

Blaming the Victim for the Abuse When a victim of emotional abuse speaks up, it’s common for the manipulator to shut it down by convincing them that they’ve done something to earn the emotional manipulation. This often comes down to “You should have known better because of XYZ reasons.” This leaves the victim constantly second guessing their actions to try and avoid a negative interaction with the manipulator.

When these tactics are written out clearly as they are above, it is easy to recognize and identify where Matthew (as well as her father/brother) have used them. If you grow up in a violent environment, it can make it even harder to recognize more subtle types of abuse as well as the longstanding negative impact they have on the recipient.

Because Matthew doesn't physically brutalize her, it is often difficult for her to understand that what she is experiencing is abuse. She knows she feels bad and doesn't like it, but she has also spent almost her entire life with people who have taught her to not trust herself or her feelings.

When she is struggling with making a final decision to leave Matthew, there is an enormous amount of subconscious fear influencing her. She has been conditioned by the abuse to regard Matthew as a pillar of her life. She doesn't love him, and she doesn't want to be with him. But, she's scared of what she is without him because he has purposefully constructed their dynamic that way.

It's easy to read her story and ask why she's "dragging her feet" and "why on earth won't she just go be with Joel already?!" She's terrified of separating from Matthew because she doesn't even realize in the depths of her mind she truly believes that she needs him. She doesn't yet understand that's what she's fighting to unlearn. That will be addressed in later installments.

Anyway, I just wanted to speak on this more, and I hope this brings some depth to the story.

LINKS FOR RESOURCES USED IN THIS POST manipulation tactics DARVO

[the-expose-on-girls]

Types of Bullies

Ranks

Lone wolf. The rarest, because it is the most difficult to pull off. Bullies like to have a posse of meek allies. Narcissists like their troop of "flying monkeys". There is strength in numbers and they feel powerful controlling their gullible followers. Lone wolf bullies are rare and unusual.

The ringleader. The "boss" of a group of bullies. Usually the one calling the shots, making the plans, and doing most of the verbal bullying, while the rest imitate their behavior. When it comes to dirty work, like slashing tires or posting their victim's private information online, they step back into the shadows while the minions take the risks. They may seem like a close-knit group, but the followers are usually expendable, easily tossed when they no longer serve a purpoSe. On their own, the ringleader is severely hamstrung and probably won't manage for long!

The follower. Spineless, gullible, dependent, cowardly,  and lacking self confidence. They stick with a toxic little group because it makes them feel valued and powerful. They don't have the self awareness to see they are just a pawn to the leader, only different from their victims because they are in the leader's good graces for some trivial reason. Even if the group is sometimes unpleasant to be in, they don't leave because they are afraid of retaliation.

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Motivations and tactics

The manipulator. While normal people would have to map things out on paper or spend countless hot showers planning, verbal manipulation of other people's thoughts, perceptions, and opinions comes NATURALLY to these bullies. They can weave a flawless Web of lies effortlessly. They can work their way into a friend group, ingratiate themselves with each member, start a smear campaign against the member whose place they want to usurp, get that person unanimously kicked out of the group by their true friends, and step into their place looking like an angel, WITHOUT PLANNING ANY OF IT!

The envy-er. They feel their own self and life is lacking, always envious of what others are or have—whether that be loving family/friends, success and respect in a certain area of life, or material wealth. But rather than go out and earn that stuff on their own like a normal, motivated member of society, they prefer to steal or usurp what they want. Their manipulations usually result in a real-life Uno reverse card effect. You are a respected leader at your job and have a nice paycheck? A little slander of anonymous origins should get you fired, so they can slip into your spot with some sweet talk to the higher ups. Oh, and if they can't successfully steal what you have, they will destroy it! If they can't have it, there's no way you will either! You and your fiance are eagerly looking forward to tying the knot and living happily ever after? Mmm, he's handsome so she will try to manipulate him into cheating with her and if he resists, she will cloud the waters with lies to break off the engagement forever. Either way, she's happy because you are not!

The victim. Weapons of choice: crocodile tears, sob stories, acting helpless and weak. The universe and everyone in it are out to ruin her life. She always needs your help. She always wants you to know that the reason she can't improve or give her 100% is because of other people putting her in these circumstances. 

The rich girl. She might actually be rich or just has enough credit card debit to fake that she's rich. Either way, money, beauty, and material possessions are the only things she values in herself and in other people. By those standards alone is she able to feel superior. If you don't have those things, you aren't worthy of her time or attention. Time is money, afterall. She isn't very skilled at bullying; most of her tactics are played out variations of showing off her belongings and shaming those with "less". Unfortunately, her victims focus so much on the nasty way she treats them for being "poor" that they can't see above the problem, that her standards are shallow and best shrugged off then ignored. She hates you because you are "poor" ? Sounds like a HER problem. She can take a long walk off a short pier in her Jimmy Choos.😘 (Just kidding, she can't afford those, either.)

What's one thing they all have in common, despite their differences in tactics? They are all incredibly insecure, hateful, and lacking compassion. Most have such deeply-rooted issues that there is no saving them. They will always be mean girls.

For those who do awaken to their cruel behavior and seek to become better, I applaud them, but do not easily shrug off their past misdeeds. Penance equal to their crimes must be done.