#Rest of the Mercs: WTF?

[tf2incorrectquotes]

What happens when Spy tries to be father to Scout, part 8:

Spy: Scout, we have an early mission tomorrow go to bed.

Scout: *stands up and aims his pistol at him* I will go to bed when this movie is over, Spy. Turn off the light and go back to bed. I'm staying up.

Spy: Scout, you march right up to your room, and you-

Spy: I don't think so, Spy.

Spy: Scout, you get your butt to bed!

Scout: No means no, Bill Cosby!

Spy: *points revolver at Scout* I TOLD YOU TO GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW!

Scout: Wait, Spy, what the hell?!

Spy: *starts advancing* I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN, JEREMY, IT IS TIME FOR NIGHT-NIGHT! 

Scout: Spy, put the gun down!

Spy: I AM YOUR FATHER, AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I TELL YOU!

Jeremy: *still pointing revolver at Spy while slowly shuffling towards room* Okay, I'm going!

Spy: *still following Scout* WELL THEN, YOU GO RIGHT NOW, MISTER! 

Scout: I'm going to bed now, dad! Chillax!

Spy: ALRIGHT THEN. NO COMIC BOOKS, JUST STRAIGHT TO SLEEP! I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE.

Scout: Okay, I love you too, dad! Night-night!

[randomartist-1]

hollowhead rant bc i've been obsessing over ava/avm and i cant stop thinking abt the hollowheads

victim is that character i want to beat the shit out of and then hug them until all their pain goes away. omfg victim was completely ripped from any chance at a normal life. he was deleted not even 2 minutes after they were created, and when they get to live, they say "fuck you alan" and create a whole ass company out of spite. and if hollowhead age is 0 years old at creation, that means he was not even 16 when he made rocket corp a thing. all because they couldnt let his deletion go, which honestly, completely fair

chosen. oh, chosen. the universe really said "hey wouldnt it be funny if we made that one guys life a living hell" and threw everything at him. he was thrown into a "survival of the fittest" situation the moment he was created, and alan just used him as an ad blocker like he was nothing but a tool. the first ever true friend he made was created to kill him, and the friendship failed bc neither knew how to fucking communicate. and then hes tortured on his GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. his BIRTHDAY. BY HIS OWN BROTHER. WTF VICTIM?? he dragged second along to help him bc he was desperate to escape the mercs but all he accomplished was getting them both captured. he must be feeling so much guilt rn omfg (to be fair it was a shit move to pull but also i completely understand his decision)

we dont know much abt dark, but it must be difficult being coded to kill your best friend. maybe the code was altered when she took chosens hand, but as far as i can tell all it did was give it powers. so assuming the code stayed, that means that dark had to fight with its own code for however long she and chosen were living together. i know for a fact its exhausting to fight with your own brain, and i cant imagine having to do it for however-many-years straight. i dont know if i want dark to make a comeback in later episodes, but i definitely wanna know more abt her.

second coming is such a fuckin sweetheart. theyve been through sm and they havent deserved any of it. they literally watched rest of the cg get ripped from them FOUR TIMES (alan ending rygb, dark murdering rygb, chosen kidnapping second, parkour episode) like they must have seperation anxiety or smth like that at this point. also claustrophobia like theyve been forced into too many tiny boxes. they literally just accepted the fact they were gonna be helping chosen when second was literally forced. they still went out of their way to try and save chosen. theyve attacked whoever hurt their friends when rygb all go down. if we continue to go with the "all hollowheads are 0 when created" logic, second is nine. NINE. turning ten this october but WTF. THAT IS A CHILD. NOT EVEN DOUBLE DIGITS

ALL THE HOLLOWHEADS ARE CHILDREN WITH THE "0 at creation" LOGIC (i mean, cho and vic are technically like 16, but still) can i PLEASE just shove them into a massive pillow fort with blankets and hug them?? is that SO MUCH TO ASK ALAN

anyways im gonna go make a playlist abt them cya

[slow-button-off]

I really don't understand what Ferrari's doing. I don't mean necessarily this year, but in general. This new car had to be the great comeback after 2020... 🙈🙈🙈

Last year's car was unreliable but fast as hell and Leclerc loved it. But they changed the car throughout all of last season to make it more suitable for Sainz who kept crashing. Now the car is miles slower, Leclerc hates it, Sainz likes it, and Red Bull is still dominating (we were lucky in Singapore but just because RB did badly, just like last year).

I know you keep saying that the team would never change the car for one driver if it meant it would get slower, but evidence says otherwise. Binotto, the rest of the team, Sainz himself said they worked hard to suit the car to him, and here's the result: the car is OBJECTIVELY slower than last year, and it doesn't suit Leclerc at all.

In Singapore, 2nd and 3rd were faster, we only kept them behind using DRS tricks. Leclerc said from the first moment that it was all planned and his role was to protect Sainz as best as he could. It didn't seem like he was protecting Ferrari, he seemed totally honest (unlike last year, where you could tell he was disappointed and just trying to keep peace).

It seems like Ferrari has chosen its first driver years ago (they even had Leclerc go receive his 2nd place in the championship trophy ALONE) but lack the decency of being honest with us (and possibly with Leclerc as well...).

Sainz's first victory came after 10 years in F1 and Leclerc had to sacrifice his own race to cover him. His second victory, same thing (though less of a shit show since Leclerc isn't running for the title this time). He gets the best strategies, can fight orders (Silverstone'22: "Hamilton and Perez will eat me alive if I try to defend!", so they had Leclerc do it and sacrifice his own race), can badmouth Leclerc and the team without repercussions.

I don't know if it's because Ferrari knows that Leclerc would literally die for them, so they take him for granted, or if sponsors are involved (we all know F1 is a political game and Santander got Kimi sacked for Alonso, it isn't even a conspiracy but a fact, especially in Italy everyone knows:

https://www.tumblr.com/sugar-and-spice-cl/729117320204648448/im-new-to-f1-but-santander-got-kimi-booted-from

(iirc OP is Italian).

I'm not saying I prefer Binotto to Vasseur, because Binotto was completely allergic to taking responsibility for his mistakes... but at least with him the car was the fastest on the grid.

Wtf is Ferrari doing?

The car isn't objectively slower overall. It was slower in qualifying in both Monaco and Suzuka (and maybe somewhere else but I don't remember). The car did get better in certain things compared to 2022 but they also made a lot of mistakes.

The thing is more that in their quest to I guess make Carlos more comfortable while also making the car faster they went wrong and it looks extra bad because the rest didn't get it wrong so they caught up or in RBs case extended their advantage.

Waché RBs TD said that with these cars it's easier to find speed at the front than in the rear. And RB who started with a more rearwards balance in 2022 shifted their balance forwards and their car got significantly faster. Ferrari wanted to shift the balance backwards but doing that and finding speed is much harder according to him. And so I think they thought they could do it but irl couldn't and got it massively wrong.

On Singapore looking at pace as such in Singapore doesn't mean much tbh. Half the race Carlos was going as slow as possible and that only works in Singapore because overtaking is super hard unless you are significantly faster or you do it via the pits and an undercut. Lando definitely wasn't faster overall and the Mercs were faster but they also were on a different strategy and were properly pushing. And with how well Lando did defending the DRS thing wasn't that needed tbh.

The win in Singapore was really important for Fred and his standing in the team etc. RB had messed up and it was THE chance to win and throwing that away would get in the way of Fred getting to properly establish himself in the team. That's why Charles cooperated. Because Fred needed it. Because Ferrari needed it. And the fact that is was Carlos who won doesn't change much.

We're in a throwaway season, there is no need for a proper driver hierarchy atm. But also the way that Fred talks about the drivers paints a different picture. We also know that Charles contract negotiations started early and he has most likely already signed a long term-ish deal. Meanwhile we don't hear anything like that about Carlos and they either actually haven't started negotiations yet or (and) he is definitely not getting what he wasn't which is the same thing that Charles is getting because otherwise there would be no need to be complaining so much and so loud.

I know this is an old ask, but read Charles interview with the race that came out today. He very clearly believe in the project and to me that means he is definitely at the centre of that.

Fred famously left Renault super quickly because he wasn't a fan of the politics. he doesn't like that stuff.

The current car is shit but that it's not shit because of Fred. This season we can only more recently start to judge Fred when it comes to the general operations. This car was designed under Binotto and all Fred has been able to is still push the development which he has done. Ferrari have brought more in general and more effective upgrades this season than last, but this car has some fundamental issues (chassis, suspension etc) that you can't just fix mid season with the cost cap.

The first car to judge Fred with is the 2024 car. And even then because they are starting with a new concept it probably won't start 100% flawless. But this current car is not on Fred at all.

not to mention the race interview again but Charles pretty much says he was ready to leave Ferrari last year and that he believes in the project now more than ever.

I get not wanting to trust Fred but do trust Charles he isn't an idiot.

[smashstappen]

Some fans are seriously considering a move for Charles from Ferrari to Red Bull if not in 2024, then in 2025, but why would RB want Charles when they have Max? Unless, Horner lost his mind or wants to take proving he is a better team principal than Toto to another level, I don’t understand why RB would want 2 champion material drivers in the same team. In an utopia lestappen as teammates would be 🔥❤️‍🔥🎇🎆🥵, but we live in reality and that is just not feasible.

The only reason Mercs could afford letting the drivers fight each other in 2016 was because the car was 1 second faster than the rest of the field. Now, I get it that for non-RB fans it might seem like that would not be a problem, the RBs are ‘miles’ faster, I would suggest to take a look at the actual timing differences in 2023 and compare to 2016 for the whole field. You would see that Mercs could afford it, but RB can’t. Both Merc and McLaren have gotten better than the beginning of the season and look to be improving for 2024/2025. Aston has fallen off, but not by a huge margin, it can be recovered for 2024/2025. And Ferrari…is Ferrari, you never know with them, they can have a strong race one weekend then scr*w it up royally the next. So, why would you pair 2 drivers with the potential to win the championship, that will fight tooth and nail for the win, even if that means taking each other out (note: as a result of fighting for the win, not on purpose) when the rest of the field is not that far behind. A Max-Charles pairing at RB for 2024/2025 will end up like 2007; which I guess if you are a Merc/potentially Ferrari, McLaren and Aston fan it would be just perfect for you, but if you are a RB/Max/Charles fan wtf are you thinking, why would you want that?!

Unless Horner lost his mind, is on a power trip, wants to one-up on Toto, simply hates Max and wants him out of the team or wants to retire and doesn’t want RB to be successful after his retirement, then he would never sign Charles as long as Max is still driving for the team.

Edit: from a team principal, BUSINESS, overview

[cadriona]

have some brainrot inspired by the anniversary genshin video where aether and lumine gets yeeted in a martial arts tournament (and of course this is beiguang)

not an actual fic, just mostly jointed thoughts that... end up somewhat coherent

beidou and ningguang knew each other way back, except beidou was a general and ning was the secretary of state? (archons are the emporers/empresses ig) and they were friendly with each other. Some might say more than friendly. But beidou also spends a lot of time in the army.

Then once beidou had refused to follow the imperial orders because the results would've been the loss of innocent lives, she returns to the capital, and for her disobediance promptly gets exiled (would've been execution if ning hadn't found out and pulled all the strings she could)

Then, they started holding martial arts tournaments. The winner could have a wish, or a request of the capital and the capital would fulfill it in any way they can, except a list of people are banned from participating (beidou among them).

Solution?

beidou decided to train someone up.

even exiled, she still has her connections within the capital, and ning subtly pushes baizhu and qiqi her way (ning worries for her pirate, ok?) and gradually people gather around the charismatic former general.

one day, she happens upon lumine, a kid fending off a wolf while trying to get through a forest idk, she has a soft heart so she picks lumine up and takes her home.

kazuha: wtf? baizhu and qiqi: now you know how it felt when she first brought you in? kazuha:... i mean-

ANYHOW. Fast forwards, and beidou just- continues to gather more people, and somehow they are now a rogue merc band that skitters on the outskirts of the country doing jobs and whatnot, all the while training lumine.

years later, and lumine is ready. xinyan wanted to be more of a musician and kazuha also ended up on the banned list due to some accidents a while back, and they go to the capital. As the group with the particpant, beidou has temp immunity.

tournament commences, and beidou finally sees ning again from afar. (she's still beautiful, still glorious, and in her eyes were steel.)

ningguang sees beidou, red eyes meeting another and an eyepatch (beidou was still stubborn, still boistrous and loving, and she was back.)

They can't meet- not when the entire country was watching everything happening in the capital.

Then- lumine fights aether.

beidou knew what would've happened as soon as she saw lumine's opponent- they looked too similar otherwise. She knew that lumine would cede the win, and beidou knew that she wouldn't fault the golden-haired teen for it. lumine lost, and in that glorious moment when ning left for backstage and the emporer's made their way down, beidou vanished into the crowd.

the interior of the palace hadn't changed much, and they met each other easily. small pleasantries, desperate touches, a parting once again too soon.

the next day came with a surprise. Aether had ceded his prize to lumine, who then used the chance to give beidou back her position. of course, it didn't come without benefits for the rest of the crew- as the actual wish was more along the lines of "legalize and grant noble status to everyone of the crux."

(baizhu and qiqi return to bubu pharmacy and promptly start renovating, the poor souls.)

and beidou- beidou returns to being a general again? except she refused the position when offered, the emperor's leniancy was but a fickle thing. The crux crew were now legalized, and beidou is now a citizen again, but she remained the head of the independent crux force, one that works, ahem, closely with the Secretary of state on matters of import.

(sometimes their meetings could last days behind closed doors.)

[theseasasleep]

DUECES!

Poor Maria! I forgot that the police came calling at Laguna Nazi and tipped Jacinta off to her checkered/trumped up past! Honestly, I think Ivan inherited his propensity to attract suffering from his mother.

Is it weird that I always forget about the pedo-female teacher and her WTF "relationship" with Marco (it's coming) until I see her in the show? What is up with that? Selective amnesia is a hell of a thing.

Lol, that these kids are so gungho about investigating the weirdness. Well, Carolina is gungho, the rest are uneasy as fuuuuuuuuck. An old man teacher barges into their room in the middle of the night and incoherently spillls the beans on dangerous shenanigans afoot at the school and god bless these children, they run with it. But dragging someone else's five year old sibling into a situation you strongly suspect is dangerous is just not done.

All my 'Marcos is the best brother and has the best, most cutest sister' love is being revived!

This show in S1 was very committed to having Maria in naked to seminaked situations, huh? Fermin is soooo into her, heehee, even this early on. Sure, he nominally considered merc-ing her for the sake of the mission, but his heart knew what was up!

Caro is like the queen of getting everyone into bad situations, lmao. I remember being freaking pissed when Ivan and Marcos were caught by Hector.

@dangermousie is not wrong: the sharp and sudden violence of Noiret against his son in full view of everyone is stunning, even on rewatch. We thought the man had been established in the first episode - absent even when present, emotionally neglectful parent - but this is the true establishing scene, right here. He is vicious, uncaring, with an ego the size of the sun. Hector shift from "take your son and GTFO!" to " you're not taking your son anywhere!" was smoooooth.

And here we understand and learn more about Ivan, his relationship with his father and the school - they are equally dangerous to him and for him but serve as the only home/family he has. That Hellscape school is actually Ivan's haven, in the most awful way possible. How's that for being destined for suffering?

Jacinta is so 😎

[transfemlogan]

(Trying to keep it low) 1, 2, 9, 16 for the fan sides ask game. (No pressure and feel free to answer a diff one if you really want to)

Fan Sides Ask Game

1. How many sides do you have?

I have 6 sides! I have debated adding another one, for the sake of having them fit all the colours in the rainbow, but I don't know if I need anymore. They all mesh together really well & I don't think I have any other large traits in my personality.

REST UNDER CUT BCUZ THIS GOT SO LONG HEHEHE

2. What are your sides traits? Are they the same or different from the Sanders Sides?

Egotism, Impulse, Paranoia, Compassion, Creativity, Fatigue

They USED to be the same as the sides, back when I only had like 3 (Logic, Anxiety, & Morality) in middle school, but I changed them to fit me better!

Logan became Fatigue, Anxiety became Paranoia, Morality became Compassion.

I used to have a bunch of other side ideas, like having 2 twins 2 represent my aroflucuality (1 being romantic attraction, the other being lack of romantic attraction), but I don't (personally) like the idea of having a side represent my sexuality. It was mostly 4 silly fun.

(Fun fact: Creativity is one of my newest sides!)

9. Do your sides interact with the Sanders Sides? If so, who gets along with who? Who hates each other?

YES THEY DO!! They interact with the sides in my swapped self-insert AU (near the end, when I meet up w/ c!Thomas & now we're like "ok. How do we... switch back.")

I would like to make an AU where they interact regularly, but I can't think any plot ideas that would need us to Meet in any sort of way.

Wentz (creativity) 100% gets along with Remus. He'd get along with Roman for like 2 seconds, bcuz "hey it's another creativity!!", before Roman realises this freak is just like his brother. Wentz & Remus r both running around & making dead bodies & going "LOOK ITS ART!!"

Patton like, has a weird relationship with Melvin (compassion). He assumes that they'd be very similar in personality and opinions, and they kind of are, but Mel speaks his mind & is very blunt & straightforward & it makes Patton feel Odd. Mel is not afraid to point out anyone's mistakes & I feel like Patton would take this as Mel not liking him, when Mel holds no negative feelings 4 Pat (Mel just think he's a little misguided).

(+ I feel like Patton would find out that Mel + the rest of the undead sides have no empathy, since I don't have any empathy, & . He's def not ableist, but his upbringing & the way he thinks makes him immediately react negative & hold like... a grudge? Against them, esp Mel? IDK NOT IN A "UNSYMP PATTON" WAY, OBVS, HE'S JUST u know. He has a lot 2 learn & mel is willing 2 lend a hand)

Mel & Logan also get along. Like, being compassion, Mel cares so much for everyone around him & will drop everything to help anyone. Mel probably says some nerdy thing abt something & Logan is like :O ur smart wtf. (I also think Mel would 100% be like. "HEY! CAN WE FUCKING LISTEN 2 LOGAN RN HES TRYING 2 TALK" & its both uncomfortable & euphoric 4 Logan.)

Mercury (Paranoia) wouldn't really get along with anyone, though xe might find comfort in Roman. I don't have any reason why. I just feel like no one would be able to comfort him good during a delusional episode (minus Logan) & Roman is this loud man being like "THERES A MAN IN THR CLOSET?" (PULLS OUT SWORD & STARTS FIGHTING CLOTHES IN THE CLOSET) LIKE FJWHFK Roman's willing 2 be a hero 4 this little man whos terrified to step in front of mirrors & mercs couldn't be happier.

MERCURY WOULD NEVER GET ALONG WITH VIRGIL. Not 4 any reason, mercs is just holding a rlly lame grudge against him.

Memphis (egotism) & Janus might get along bcuz of their similar opinions on self care & selfishness, though ... I don't want to say Memphis is "more extreme", but she isn't doing things out of Self Care. Like, in SVS, Janus is trying to get Thomas to go to the callback to show that it's okay to be selfish and care about yourself. While Memphis would also want Thomas (or me, in this situation) to go to the callback, Memphis is doing it out of "you're inherently better than the people around you."

& that line of thinking is... Very Much against what Janus is trying to show Thomas. Janus (& Remus) are trying to show that no one is inherently good & no one is inherently bad, but Memphis believes that she (& I) are inherently better & that everyone is "below us"

They'd get along, but have very differing opinions.

Patton fucking hates Memphis. Memphis is what Patton does not want Thomas to become. I also think it'll throw him for a loop seeing Compassion & Egotism in one person.

Maven (fatigue) doesnt like making friends or getting 2 know ppl & would much rather be alone 4ever. The concept of interavting w/ others is like. So annoying 2 them.

(Id type more but im running out of spoons & this cant stay in my drafts anymore)

The "dark" sides & my sides have a good relationship automatically. Like the concept of sides that r excluded is something all my sides do not like & would immediately support them. They'd have like a... idk the word. Just, like, when u see someone & u nod 2 them & they nod back but u dont rlly know anything its just like... were in the same community.

Maddox (impulse) hates every1 & is like actively trying 2 murder them all /J

16. FREE SPOT FOR ANSWERERS! Ramble about anything you want!

I just went on a 13 paragraph long rant abt my sides & the sanders sides. I am not rambling anymore i am so tired

[incarnateirony]

Can I ask you something about Misha and Jensen? And I also heard the Winchesters cast messaged a tumblr blog for promo months ago and I wanted to know if you heard about that.

People can ask, not sure if i'll know or answer. The crew doesn't actually use tumblr for their communications. There's an account on tumblr that suffers major MHI and often pretends to be an employee of jensen, chaos machine, or more because they have liminal contact.

Generally speaking TPTB and their mercs don't. use. tumblr. Hell, it's pulling teeth to get them to use discord. And trust me. I know. I've made channels for some and they fuck off for a year until an emergency happens. They primarily use twitter or IG--possibly FB but IDK since I haven't touched it in ages (I do remember facetiming one like, 5 years ago tho). And that's only if you're a liminal contact. generally, you know, they're someone that will like. call you. on. a phone. even international.

odds are the Tumblr Blog That Messaged Asking For Promotion is the same motherfucker that's been pounding on my server walls yelling "BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW" like. i already told yall how. what do you want.

sdfksjdfksdjf tptb browse tumblr. they don't use it for communication. they hide and shitpost like the rest of us or just silently read or USE FUCKING MICROSOFT EDGE LIKE SORE THUMBS IT DRIVES ME INSANE ANY TIME I SEE YOU DUDE.

But for the many times, for example, statcounter has captured misha's footprint on my blog, of the [counts] 7 people trying to message me as him, RA, Gish, Jensen, CM or an affiliate of theirs on tumblr, zero were authentic. And uh. like. 5 of these at least are actually the same person.

so lmao. no, i haven't heard about it, but it's funny it's being said.

Danneel and Jensen engage by IG when not by phone guys. They're not going to crawl to the most backwater ass stagnant ass dying platform and like send a dm or anon to a blog asking for promo there while they're goddamn viral on IG 100000x larger.

sounds like someone's being taken for a ride by [redacted]. She Of One Thousand Accounts.

I still have 2 of their last alt's asks rotting in my inbox pretending to be affiliated.

anyway Drama Mc Fake Account realized they sorta fucked the plot on the central fandom promotion accounts by their drama monger games so now it's time to message a NEW blog. Maybe they'll pretend to work for radio company this time. They did that for me once. Pick your poison, who is She Of 1000 Accounts pretending to be today.

problem is, she has just enough contact to be able to seem real to people that don't know better. But it's generally inflated, or cropped dms, or a misrepresented danneel IG response. once in a while mild banter shares minor things. But it's just enough for them to keep pretending to be a wholesale, deeply itk employee to people that don't know what counter-questions to challenge with.

same person pikachufaced when my response to them being involved in an old sting operation that they tried to brag/gloat with: Yeah. I know. You recorded it. It's among the data that was handled and packaged in zips in folders.

She was all. WAIT YOU WERE PART OF THAT? Uh. fuckin. yeah. real connected up there aren't you. You just now figured this out? Did you miss the Manchin, Jess, Natalie and other itk attempting douchecanoes wiping out in the past? Etc etc. "That all happened?" Yeah. While you're showing off your semi active dm box for gold stars, a lot of us stayed busy and on track for years sweetie wtf

either way, sorry to that man* (gn) that got messaged and fell for it. for a while we almost did too, because they play it just right. But i've worked enough with enough actual. you know. people worth a shit. to realize when someone's just saying whatever gets them attention at the moment.

buyer beware: tptb aint gonna message you on tumblr man. they just ain't. i'm sorry. I don't care who you are.

[litlunacy]

Sending #7, #24, and #36 for Ximena :D but feel free to answer for your other apprentices instead or as well if you prefer! 💖

I'll answer for Ximena, Lilith and Zuri. Also under a cut, because boy this got long.

7. What's their design? Do they have a reference sheet? What made you choose that specific color scheme/fashion style/etc.?

Everyone has a collection of notes on my phone, as well as a few picrews and such. I'll probably post those at some point.

Ximena - Height: 5'6" / Hair: Black, long, just wavy enough to be unruly / Eyes: She has heterochromia. The left is pale green, the right pale blue. / Her fashion sense is lots of silver jewelry and mostly very loose, flowy fabrics in bright colors. Her main color scheme is blue and white, because I like opposites and Julian's is red and black.

Lilith - Height: 5'10" / Hair: Pale silver-purple, blunt bangs, very long and straight / Eyes: Gold / Her fashion sense is lots of tight, revealing dresses in black and shades of red and her super expensive heeled boots. She also likes gold and jewels. Most of Lilith's design was, again, based on opposites. Lucio is pale as hell, so her skin is dark. His hair is gold, hers silver. He has silver eyes, she has gold. He likes white and she likes black. And then I wanted her to share his expensive taste, just less gaudy.

24. What's their relationship to the main 6?

Zuri - Height: 5'1" / Hair: Dark blue, short and shaggy in the back, two longer braids in front, messy bangs / Eyes: Black / She likes baggy, dark clothes that basically swamp her tiny frame. She also always wears a dark purple cloak that Asra gave her. Her design was mostly influenced by how she wants to hide herself and be as small as possible.

I talked about Ximena's relationship with the M6 here. But she is absolutely head over heels for Julian, even if she has to knock some sense into him every now and then, and basically gets along with everyone but Lucio. Goat boy can suck it.

Lilith loves Lucio, but boy does he try her patience. Which oddly enough makes her seek out Nadia for drinks and friendly whining about him with someone who very much understands. She gave Asra the shop when she and Lucio decided to travel and do the merc thing, and they talk sometimes, but what little friendship they had sort of fizzled. She met Julian like, once, and her impression was mostly 'wtf dude'. She likes Portia, is always polite when they stay at the palace, and appreciates how much she speaks her mind. Lilith doesn't know Muriel at all, and he'd like to keep it that way.

Zuri is almost attached to Asra at the hip. He hung the moon as far as she's concerned. Julian scared the absolute fuck out her that night he broke in, poor girl was in tears, and it takes a lot of apologies and him very carefully avoiding her personal space before she feels comfortable with him. They do become friends, but he still does 99% of the talking and makes her jump if he gets too loud. Nadia intimidates her, but she also really looks up to her and wishes she could be more like her. She thinks Portia is a lot of fun, and she really enjoys the sweets she makes and playing with Pepi. She actually gets along very well with Muriel, if only because neither of them really like people and they can both sit in total silence together for hours and not feel awkward. And Lucio is the only person she can say that she has ever really, truly hated. She hopes he suffers like he caused the people she loves to suffer.

36. What was their relationship with their aunt like? With the rest of their family?

Ximena had a fantastic relationship with her aunt Angelina. She and her parents made the trip from Zadith every summer to stay in Vesuvia at the shop, and it was her dad and Aunt Angie who taught her magic. (Angelina was all about green magic, Nazir was more into the abstract.) It was her mom who taught her how to paint, and she picked up quite a bit of her mom's...unique fashion sense. She does remember and reconnect with her family post-main story.

Lilith does not remember her family, and does not care to. Whoever she was before is dead, and she wants nothing to do with the ghosts.

Zuri was raised by her aunt after the rest of her family died in a fire when she was four. She loved her aunt very much, and she was a very gentle and patient person. She was also one of the first people to die of the red plague, and her death was the thing that made Zuri determined to stay and help find a cure. She doesn't ever remember this herself, but Asra does eventually tell her when she asks. It doesn't give her a terrible headache, and he shows her where their graves are. She starts leaving flowers every month.

[mistertf2xreaderfluffballcake]

Hallo!!! I am love love loving your writing!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your talents! 😊 May I make a request? How would the mercs react to accidentally hurting their crush/ S/o? Purely by accident.

Oh hello um Ok, I did three characters is that ok? I have a hard time thinking for all... there is so much to say you know!!!! But my head just can't cooperate I am sorry. I will maybe write a part 2 if I get ideas!! Again I am deeply sorry I hope you can forgive me. (;_:) pls, enjoy these three...

trigger warning: blood. (a little tho) , bite (from a raccoon)

Scout

He accidentally ran to you. He was running around the case like a headless chicken. And...Yep *CRASH* Wtf what where you are go- OH SHIT! S/O are you okay!? He then brought you to medic. Medic!! S/o is bleeding VERY badly!! (you only go like a little cut on your knee :/ ) *sigh* I am fine scout.

He was with you the whole time. He kept on apologizing. You told him you were fine then he finally calmed down. For the next few days, he helped you do everything.

Oh is soldier giving a hard time on your duty/chores. FUCK OFF DUMBASS CANT YOU SEE S/O KNEES ARE HURT!? (seriously my knee is fine. it was a little cut scout...) After that day scout was much more careful when running around the hall, he didn't want his dear crush to get hurt again next time could maybe be even more serious!

Soldier

He didn't really hurt you...Lieutenant Bites did. Lieutenant Bites was always really nice to you only...But one day you were hugging the dear raccoon. Your arms wrapped around the cute little one.

The soldier then saw you and decided to pet it while you were hugging it. It was about to bite the soldier's hand but instead bite your arms around the raccoon! OW! You let go and the raccoon ran off. *GASP* S/O!! HEY, LIEUTENANT BITES YOU, COWARD! S/O YOU ARE BLEEDING!!! It's nothing serious. *carries in bridal position* hm? what.

He then ran full speed to medic. MEDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC! *smashes down the med bay door. He didn't care if he was mid-surgery s/o was the most important patient. MEDIC TREAT S/O NOW!! fuck um sorry scout your broken leg gotta wait (←medic). wait what!? (←scout) *after treating your injury with a bandage*

After the treatment, he let you rest and went to look for Lieutenant Bites. Once he found it he made a private meeting with it. Lieutenant Bites! You CANNOT hurt s/o! I don't care about others but just not them! YOU UNDERSTAND? You must PROTECT s/o! Not HURT!!! >:( lol he did this for a whole hour with a damn raccoon eating cookies)

Pyro

Pyro really didn't mean it. Pyro accidentally threw a pillow/plush to your face too hard. *SWOOSH* wh *poof* *crack* Yep your nose broke idk how but it did. *GASP!!!!* mmph!!!! Pyro checked on your nose and...*drip* a drop of blood. *PANIC PYRO MODE ON!!!!*

Pyro took your hand and called for engi or medic. MMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! After you were treated. Pyro came to you running and kept checking. I am fine pyro... MMPHH!! For the whole day, pyro gave you a bunch of candy and nice stuff.

I hope you enjoyed these three!! My favorite to write was soldier! My back pain has returned!! I`m gonna go rest um bye! I love you all!

[snakess-17]

Mercs Tiktok sound prank, but gr!ndr sound? 👀

scout

doesn't react as fast but once his head picks up the sound it's like "reconnecting...".

he slowly turns your head towards you before jumping on you roughly to take the cell phone from you.

when you start laughing as he keeps trying to take the phone from you, he stands still

"oh man, is this another one of your tiktok jokes?" as you pout.

spy

I was sitting reading a book when I hear the notification sound.

this bitch turns her head "what was that?" she asks, you'd be sure her voice note was a little bit deeper.

"oh nothing-" he's throwing the book at your head.

when he sees that your cell phone was recording it his head puts the clues together and realizes it's a joke, he turns to you, gives you a kiss where he hit you and says "I'm not going to apologize, you deserve it".

sniper

Some time ago he heard the same sound coming from the spy's phone, he explained where it came from.

he turns your head towards you slowly, lowers his glasses a little and opens his mouth a little.

you laugh at his reaction and his reaction changes to a "wtf".

you explain to him that it is a tiktok and he relaxes saying "oh honey, go to hell".

heavy

was in the bathroom of his room when you decided to make the joke.

You set the sound up pretty loud a couple of times, and thought he wasn't having a reaction

until he slowly peeked out the door, eyes narrowed, sponge in hand, and clutching the towel around his waist.

you laughed instantly so she understood quickly that it was a joke, laughed uproariously and went back to what she was doing.

demoman

you were lying on his bed when you decided it was a good time to make the joke. he had his head resting on your lap for the moment.

When you played the sound the man looked at you and put on his serious face "excuse me, what the fuck?"

he tried to take off the cell phone, however a bad move made it fall on his face, when he saw the screen he saw that the sound was coming from the youtube.

you were laughing loudly while he sat down and pounced on you tickling you "love, that's playing dirty".

soldier

I was in the base gym when you played the sound, however I was at the other end practicing weights.

you placed the sound loud enough for him to hear it, and you noticed that he heard it when you saw his head in your direction.

he said nothing, he put the weight on the ground until in a second he came running towards you, when he reached your side, he grabbed you on his shoulder and kept running

"You'll have to explain this to me honey" when he said this you burst out laughing.

engineer

this man has never heard that sound before, he thinks it is sound coming from some gaming application.

this man is going to crash your profile on tiktok.

pryo

another poor guy who doesn't know what this sound is, just an innocent angel.

medic

this man was going through some papers in the medical bay when you decided to make the prank.

he turned his head so fast, his eyes so wide open that a shiver ran down your spine.

"honey that just rang on your cell phone."

you decided to tell him it was a joke because it simply scared you, this man laughed and said "I know it's a joke, but I also wanted a little revenge" as he continued to guffaw.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

If Sega gave you complete creative control for Infinite and how he should be portrayed for the future, would you do with him?

WOAH. OKAY. so... this is a really loaded question but i'll do my best to answer it concisely below the cut... it gets long.

first off, i want to state something i firmly believe about fandom spaces: fanon CANNOT be canon. ever. RARELY, but usually it's a hard pass for me. this doesn't mean i don't enjoy fanon content (i adore all the art, concepts, fanfics, etc... and create my own) but 9/10 times i would not want SEGA making this shit EVER. wanna know what happens when fanon mentality has canon authority? ken penders, enough said on that. i love the relationship fanon has with canon, and if you made the primary content full of confirmed pairings, genders, sexualities, open worlds, etc... it loses all appeal because wtf do we do now as creative fans! leave the games as open for interpretation and first and foremost, GAMES. we can do the rest 😎

on that note, i cannot merely respond to this ask with "read my fanfics" because i do not want my fanon infinite interpretations to be canon (emphasis on multiple versions, i have way more than i share). MY infinite is not ideal for the canon world, and that's why i love him?

i can answer this in two ways: comic, or game. I'LL DO BOTH!

COMIC:

comic infinite is much easier to write because while idw and its predecessors were made to promote the games, they do not need to function like a game! this means more character development, no technical limitations, and more creative liberty to replace the interactiveness between audience and creator that happens when you play games.

i'm admittedly VERY behind in idw, especially since i need to read things multiple times/repeatedly or else i forget (memory issues) but to my knowledge, nothing has gotten more serious or colossal than the metal virus arc! so if mimic for example was to be brought back as a larger more dangerous antagonist, i'd have the resistance outsource the help they need to defeat him. much like the introduction of the Babylon Rogues, the main cast decides that if they want to take down the ex-merc leader, they need an ex-merc leader.

... maybe, just maybe... they address the elephant in the room: what the fuck happened to infinite. the character who should find him and win him over is going to have to be whisper, and if we want extra angst and character development, shadow goes with her. two lone wolves (wolf and hog technically) working together to get infinite!

why whisper? she has beef with shadow too, because androids that looked like him killed her friends. shadow goes for whisper, but also because he sorta owes everyone for the metal virus arc and also forces tbh.

infinite would be like boom! shadow in the way that he's a nomad, and also just totally fucking missing. i think it would be a mistake if they made him a threat, because we already did the "we hurt him so he came back stronger for revenge" plot. we can NOT do it again. maybe his squad worked with the diamond cutters, or maybe they were rivals! who knows? not me, but he'd be easy to shoehorn in.

FOR CHARACTERIZATION: give us a numb, bitter, defeated infinite who doesn't want to fight anymore because he's tired. the resistance is clearly good enough without him because if they can take him down, what good would he be against mimic? he wants to be left alone, they've done enough. relying on how the plot unravels, he would eventually fight for them and do merc stuff, but not because he cares, quite the contrary: he doesn't care! nothing matters to him but it keeps him from being bored.

if infinite was greenlit a redemption arc, i'd have him express more, and put more effort into his job, because having the resistance (even if he seems to hate working with them) means he isn't alone again anymore, and that was infinite's problem: he was isolated and friendless! by working with the rest of the cast, and finding his place amongst their forces (haha pun intended) infinite realizes that he didn't have to throw away his emotions like last time: having something you care about means you have something to lose, yes, but it also means you've won in the first place. maybe by caring about the resistance he gets hurt because emotions mess with his efficiency sometimes, or maybe someone gets hurt protecting him and says it's nbd because they don't regret pain if it was to protect a teammate! he wouldn't be main cast material, but he'd show up when needed, and work on solo stealth missions while checking in with hq. some characters accept him, most are uncomfortable, and omega and espio probably want him dead. oh well!

GAME:

oh god... oh dear god. hfkdkdkdkfkf nfffg WHY DID FORCES HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT. i hate to say it, but he needs a soft reboot. it's cliche, but:

1. a pre-forces game when he was still a merc, like shadow the hedgehog 2 (ooh or the long awaited silver game? 😳). he can be a 2p companion in a level maybe, or unlockable later.

2. this might explain the phantom ruby more, but give him amnesia since it's literally the only thing missing from his origin in comparison to shadow's 🥴 yeah i went there again. he's working as a merc on his own like nothing happened, and assumes his squad was attacked by shadow and separated, a war happened, and he has no recollection of it all (i have a theory on this bc of the prequel comic along with some other phantom ruby lore analysis, but this is already a super long response so i'll save that for another time.) infinite remembers shadow and is bitter, but has been living life normally and doesn't remember forces or the phantom ruby. he doesn't have his phantom ruby powers, and it's sort of an 06 moment!

he only exists in a comic and a cutscene, which only has a couple lines, but i LOVE pre-phantom ruby infinite. LOOK:

and his natural voice with rougher mannerisms:

give us THIS guy back. shadow appeals to people because he's edgy, but he's always well spoken, elegant, and tempered carefully. infinite is brash, dramatic, and a MERCENARY. as of 06 shadow has been domesticated, so having a loud-assassin-type character would really bring some of that old shadow back! vibe check him because he's now a fucking government agent hero! booooo

if i could write infinite in another game, i'd make him a true antihero who could be a threat (just like how shadow or even espio are threats) but he doesn't care for bothering sonic and co anymore. he's happy with his own line of work, but when they cross paths they can team up, even if infinite is cold and bitter (while secretly enjoying the collab). imagine the in-game dialogue if he was a npc or optional 2p? like, if caliburn was in shth!!!

some of my response might have been heavily influenced by the fact i have almost exclusively been playing shadow the hedgehog all week, but i like the 2p mechanics and secondary cast of that game SO MUCH and the role the characters had in the plot and actually playability. i think that if SEGA were to coax the secondary cast back into games, having characters like big, infinite, the rogues, team hooligan, marine, the chaotix, etc... as contributors to the plot and optional playability would be great. THAT is how we can bring infinite back, because he can't afford another revenge plot (one ticket per person guys!)

anyways, i hope this is a sufficient response, thank you for asking! this is a difficult question because IF i had to fill SEGA's shoes and bring infinite back, it's a totally different approach than writing a cute silly gay fanfic for basically just myself. while i love a lot of the "here's how sonic games could have been better" posts (yes, even ones that i make too) they often don't consider how much goes into game development. it isn't just a plot with mechanics, you have to make everything fit. sometimes SEGA doesn't always deliver on this, but they give us so much to work with so it's still applaudable and useful.

if i were to write infinite, he'd have to work for the plot, the mechanics, the level layout, somewhat adhere to his origin, and SO much more! it is a LOT of work, and realistically i'll never be able to create a solid plan that is actually something SEGA could do, but these are the first thoughts that come to mind :")

[tf2strategist]

How would the mercs react if they got sick? Nothing serious, just, like, a cold or something.

Demoman:

Likely pretty honest about it. Medic spooks him at times, but he trusts the doctor to at least give him some semblance of a “good” idea on what to do if he gets sick.

Though before he does anything, he likely tries to work through it himself. His ma taught him how to care for himself, so he mostly just needs help setting it all up.

If he gets cold medicine, you have to have a guard on him at all times, because he can and will try to drink, even if he knows they absolutely do not mix.

Engineer:

Assures everyone he’s doing fine. Being the voice of reason and the team mom, he’s sure he’ll work it out on his own and mostly just self-isolate until it’s over.

It’s only until he’s hollering encouragement to Scout on the battlefield that he breaks into a coughing fit, and things go south.

Surprisingly, Scout is the one who ends up volunteering to take care of Engineer. The whiplash it gives the rest of the team is palpable. 

He tries his best to make the soup that Engie always brings the others, not very well, but he makes a genuine attempt.

Eventually he has to ask for help from spy, this dude sacrifices his own ego to help someone and Medic is about ready to check if scout himself is feverish-

Each member of the team eventually gets involved to chip in and help out, and Engie gets better quicker than any of the others. Scout denies that he did anything, but the sentiment stays.

Heavy:

Like Engineer, Heavy assumes he can get away with just shrugging it off and braving through it. He has bigger worries.

Unfortunately, with Medic’s constant doting, it catches on pretty quick that he’s sick, and he gets the angry talk about how he’s contagious and should have told the doctor.

Heavy disappears for a day to Medic’s office, nobody is entirely sure what happened, but he comes back smiling and feeling better, so they don’t question it.

(Medic may or may not have just replaced his lungs entirely)

Medic:

Ludwig here knows full well that he’s sick. He’s the “Do as I say, not as I do” kind of guy that advises the others to come to him when they’re feeling unwell, and then proceeds to cough on others.

Who’s to say he doesn’t do it on purpose? He uses it to his advantage. Someone ticks him off? Cough on them, deal with the consequences later. 

Colds make him sleepier than usual, he’ll be slumped over the main room table with a coffee and looking like death itself, then come back the next day looking spry as ever.

(He may or may not have also just replaced his lungs entirely)

Pyro:

Pyro is a drama queen when they’re sick, because it means they get to cuddle up with their toys and the other mercs and have attention. You’d think that Scout would be the one to do this, but nope, it’s Pyro.

Engie is in their room 24/7 making sure they have hot soup, plenty of things to do, puzzles to solve, the others are almost envious.

Pyro is sad when the extra attention ends, but Engineer assures them that they can visit his workshop whenever.

Scout:

Scout, on the other hand, will come to the respawn room, eyes streaming, nose stuffy, and say to your face “I’m fine, shut up.”

He doesn’t want the others to think he’s weak or think less of him because he managed to get sick, so he tries to hide it from the others until it ends up worse thanks to his attempts to push it away.

Sniper is tasked with bringing him soup and medicine, and Scout refuses to take any of it unless the door is closed and nobody can see him do it. The only reason Sniper gets to even do it is because he doesn’t talk all too much and keeps secrets to himself.

Stubborn.

Sniper:

Nobody really notices he’s sick since his eyes are covered in aviators and his hat shadows his face. Not to mention Snipes tends to blend in with the background, something that can be to his advantage.

Not now, because he’s too shy to really ask anyone for help.

Ends up having a coughing fit and completely missing his targets one day on the field. BLU spy, who was just getting ready to backstab him is just watching like “yo wtf”

He uh, doesn’t want to get sick either, so he just creeps away and alerts the medic before he backstabs them.

Soldier:

Nobody knows how he manages it, but any time he catches a cold, he’ll disappear for a day, and come back good as new.

In reality, he goes and screams at the sickness until it cowers in fear and runs away, then walks back.

Seriously, how does he do it?

Spy:

Not one to really ask for help, Spy mostly takes care of himself. Having been with Scout’s ma meant he has decent experience with caring for the sick, not to mention his constant ventures to other countries. 

Begrudgingly visits Medic to get some cold medicine, and ends up having to knock him out so that he wouldn’t get his lungs replaced.

Never again. He’ll just stick to laying in bed and drinking water.

[carolrance]

someone please call 911 tell em i just been shot down and the bullet's in my heart

no but seriously

these two

i didn’t think i’d actually be emotional about this stupid show that has pissed me off/confused me the majority of this season (i still don’t think it’s the best season but it’s no longer the worst lol). but here i am, spamming my tumblr over it and i can’t seem to stop

but it shouldn’t actually be shocking cos like

look at my fucking tumblr theme

and url

and icon

like...... obvs if its a good ending for my otp i’ll be in heaven

(and i mean i did think about changing the theme a few times but a)i’m very lazy b)with what time? and c)i still love them and i’m not changing my url so.....)

i need to stop

(but  i can’t??????????????)

(SORRY)

[karakozakov]

Fic Rec Pt.2

Here’s more fanfics to make your weekend!!!

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4

Haikyuu!!

Pokemon Stars by Sleepy_Dormouse

Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Amanai Kanoka/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou

Language: English | Words: 316,468 | Chapters: 88/100 | Warning: Work in progress

With fierce battles and aggressive trainers how will timid Yamaguchi Tadashi find his place in the Pokemon world. Traveling beside his best friend, Tsukishima Kei, hopefully he will find his calling and prove to himself and the world that he is more than just a shy boy from Poni Island. 

This Insignificant Pride and Prejudice by Mysecretfanmoments, Pouler (poulerslashes)

Relationship: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Language: English | Words: 33,656 | Chapters: 3/3 

Oikawa Tooru graduated high school with the burning desire to succeed in his college career. He'd hoped that might include taking down his arch-nemesis along the way, but when he finds that his college team hosts an offensively familiar face, he can't help but think that the universe might be conspiring against him. After all, what could be worse than playing on the same team as Ushijima?

i'll fall with gravity by ebenroot

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Language: English Words: 146,920 Chapters: 14/14

'Iwaizumi finds a lacy pair of panties hanging on the banister when he enters the foyer with coffee, donuts, and files balancing on his forearms. He prays to God that it isn’t his boss’s.'

or

Iwaizumi Hajime's official title is 'Assistant to Oikawa Tooru, CEO and Founder of Aoba Johsai Enterprises'. It is not 'Supersuit Tester/Friendly Ear to Stressed Scientists/Babysitter of a Nineteen-Year Old Wall Crawler/Sugawara Koushi's Eyes and Ears/Official Merc Bouncer/Unwilling Person that Stumbles Upon a Plot involving Enhanced Children'. Really, he deserves a pay raise.

i don't like darkness by avenqelic

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Language: English | Words: 11,064 | Chapters: 7/7

It couldn’t be real. Everyone had heard of Oikawa Tooru, the legendary prodigy who had gone missing with the rest of the crew from the Seijoh ten years ago. They were out on a four-year mission, with the last transmission halfway through saying they were on their way home.

After that, nothing.

Oikawa Tooru is lost in space. Iwaizumi Hajime tries to bring him home.

cross my heart and hope to die by TripsH

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Language: English | Words: 58,331 | Chapters: 1/1

This summer was their last chance, their final stand—kill or be killed, destroy or be destroyed. Failure wasn’t an option. Not for them.

Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime had crossed their hearts over a promise written in blood and punctuated with the utter decimation of a life they had once known, had thrown themselves into a new life where death was a commonality, survival a privilege. But they had only their goal in mind, only thought of the promises that drove them forward: to fight, to survive, to beat Shiratorizawa and pay them back for all that had been forcibly ripped from them. To win.

No matter what it took, they would.

i'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you by baekuugo (insxouts)

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Language: English | Words: 22,504 | Chapters: 8/8 | Warning: Mature

Iwaizumi Hajime is a single father trying to raise a teenager (or three) on his own. He thinks he does pretty okay and things are going great until he meets the Oikawa Tooru (who isn't as great as people think he is, if you ask Iwaizumi) and his life takes a turn for the best worst.

it's tradition. by hicsvntdracones

Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira

Language: English | Words: 5,577 | Chapters: 1/1

It's tradition, it's tradition, they all say as they gather up the second and first years. The second years have a look of hard determination, while the first years are simply confused. Oikawa claps his hands together.

"Let's begin this year's annual training camp truth or dare!"

Kunimi tries to run.

A Place to Call Home by the_madame21

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Terushima Yuuji/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Language: English | Words: 191,554 | Chapters: 44/44 | Warning: Explicit

Oikawa Tooru doesn't need an alpha. He's doing fine all on his own. And the past four years of being a single mother have proven that this is exactly what he wanted from life.

Of course, life has a way of not always going as planned.

the slow descent by pennyofthewild

Relationship: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Language: English | Words: 7,127 | Chapters: 2/2

On the first day of university volleyball practice, Oikawa Tooru walks into the gymnasium, sees Ushijima Wakatoshi standing in the middle of the court, immediately turns on his heel and walks back out.

If you can't beat them, join them.

only for the weekend by project_ecto

Relationship: Oikawa Tooru/Iwaizumi Hajime

Language: English | Words: 33,958 | Chapters: 5/5

RENT-A-BAE FOR THE NEW YEAR’S Single and tired of your family and relatives asking when you’re gonna get a boyfriend? Shut them up with your very own fake bf – Iwaizumi Hajime (20 years old, 179cm, great arms)! New year’s packages available!

Platinum - stay all night - matching outfits - small talk - some physical display of affection - cute story about how you met - help with dishes after dinner - details about post-graduation plans - a kiss

CALL 03-0401-1020 FOR A QUOTE!

Complete with a cropped picture of himself stuck on the right side of the godforsaken flyer, typed out in fucking Comic Sans, Iwaizumi was dangerously close to socking whoever thought it was funny to advertise him as a rentable boyfriend.

or, what was a harmless prank somehow lands Iwaizumi with a fake boyfriend for the new year’s.

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows

Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou

Language: English | Words: 540,908 | Chapters: 56/? | Warning: Work in progress

To: Shimi hey, quick question, do you think I might be gay? From: Shimi Sawamura's thighs? To: Shimi oh wtf From: Shimi Am I wrong?

--

All Sugawara wants is a little inspiration. All Daichi wants is for his regulars to finally pay off their tab. All everyone else wants is to drink good liquor and watch as their best friends struggle.

The Haunting of Oikawa Tooru by Esselle

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Language: English | Words: 5,685 | Chapters: 2/2

This is not how Tooru wanted to spend his day. It's not his fault he's so in tune with the spirits. He didn't ask to have his house haunted—he’s not even getting paid for this.

But unfortunately, they won't go away until he figures out how to help them be at peace.

"Okay," Tooru says, "so Chibi-chan, you foolishly summoned Tobio-chan's restless spirit, and he's still too clueless to figure out how to move on, hmm?"

--

Tooru prefers not meddling in the affairs of the dead. Sometimes, however, their spirits don't give him that option.

[fromchaosfromscience]

Can Three Idiots Beat Pokemon Infinity (Part IA)

Juuuust gonna let Key’s copypasta’d commentary take over from here, this is what it says on the tin, kiddos! 

TAKE IT AWAY, KEY, BEFORE I KILL YOU

Mmmkay. 

Key here, and this is the beginning of what will probably be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, but here we are.  And Ethan, let it be known that if you edit any of my commentary to make it into dick jokes or otherwise anything that will make me regret not just posting this part on my own blog, I will burn down everything you love right in front of you.

So anyway, it should be noted that we’re going into this fangame completely blind.  I know a FEW things about it from its description, that it’s full of fan mons and alternative/regional forms, which I personally take to be a good thing.  I actually enjoy Fakemon when they’re done properly, which most... nine times out of ten, they’re done well because the Pokemon community is fucking insane when it comes to designs.  I don’t know anything else about this, though, so let’s go ahead and jump on in.

We decided via vote what the player character would be in terms of gender and name.  8)  And yes, it’s a huge inside joke.

Moseying right along (and ignoring Raven’s agonized screams in the distance)...

After waking up in the woods, apparently with no knowledge as to how I got there or what the actual fuck is happening, I’m taken to a little place in a nearby town to rest - and taken back to early 2000s while I’m at it because that music is DEFINITELY from the Pokemon Colosseum series.  I kind of love this already, but let’s get on with the adventure.  I read the note left by Wormwood and head up to his lab.

...Hold up.  Is that a regional variant of Marill?  ;A;  I ALREADY WANT IT. 

But alas, we are just here for our starter, and so the toughest decision of ANY Pokemon game goes underway.

Annnnd it looks like the three starters are actually regional variants of Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle!  Ethan is harassing me as I type this to choose Squirtle, so of course that’s not happening.  =D  Eat shit, Ethan.

Charmander it is!  Our first companion on our journey!

Fire/dragon!  Not bad!  :T

Also she has a timid nature!!  Which isn’t bad on a standard Charmander!  No idea if it’ll be worth anything on THIS Charmander, but we shall see.  =D;

And I have to say I’m liking this plot so far.  Like, as cliche as the whole AMNESIA thing is, still, it’s... more interesting than what I’d expect from a mainline Pokemon game these days.  Lmao sorry that’s a little harsh, but moving right along, we’re off to get answers about wtf we can’t remember coming to this tiny island region in the middle of bumblefuck.

On the way to the light house to talk to Professor Thorn, I’m given a quick TL;DR from prospective rival Teal on the Egho Council, who are apparently standing in for gyms in this region.  Cool cool! 

Now given that the Nuzlocke hasn’t started yet, and won’t start until I’m given pokeballs or able to buy them, I take this time to grind Azure up a bit.

And it’s in this battle that I learn her ability is actually Competitive, which... is pretty insane, to be honest.  Hot damn.

......welp.

Guess that means potential death time is now.  =D;;  And because Ethan is a complete dick, he just told me that yes, this does indeed count and the Nuzlocke begins now.  Azure please don’t die.

A couple of trainer battles later though, and I have her at level 7 and I’m feeling pretty good about it.  Annnd our first encounter is...!

A Rattata. 

You know what, I can work with this, it’s fine, I thought to myself going in.  Oh, you’re going to heal with an oran berry?  Well, I’ll just knock you down to red again.  Oh, you’re going to growl at me?  Well, that just sharply raises Azure’s special attack.  So not bearing that in mind at all, I’m just going to attack with Ember like an idiot and kill it.

Yeah.

I botched the first encounter.  :I  I COMPLETELY FORGOT about Competitive and wasn’t paying attention, yes, I am an idiot, cast your tomatoes forth, all tomatoes and shame be upon me.

MOVING ON.

We get to Merchant’s Ridge, where another trainer battle awaits, and a fresh new encounter and hopefully... redemption?  =D;;

Yes!  A pidgey!

please don’t kill it please don’t kill it please don’t kill it

AND AFTER ONLY *ALMOST* KILLING IT, we have found redemption!

No really.

We mosey on over to Searidge Town, but not without being given an Old Gadget and free heals from Lucy, and battling a foolish old sailor who thought HIS inferior boring regular pidgey was a match for REDEMPTION.

It was not.

Very nice town we got here!  And after some exploring, I come across this guy who gives me a... very interesting little tidbit.

....Does this mean what I think it means?  HM.

We get to Stonedust Trail, where we run into none other than...

Ekans!  Who quickly becomes our third member, Scaley!

And after Redeem has a near death experience with poison - that’s quickly amended with Antidote because Professor Wormwood is an absolute angel - we hurry on.

But not without a run-in from...

Oh christ almighty here we go.

Starly, a match for REDEMPTION?  Kiss my ass.  I send out Scaley to intimidate the Patrat she’s carrying, but its bite does a little too much damage for my liking, so I send out Azure to finish the job.  I also end up keeping her out to face down Teal’s Squirtle, whose typing I can only assume is water/flying, but Azure is fire/dragon, so I assume she’ll be okay taking neutral damage from any water moves.

The Squirtle ends up using a move called Nimbus Fist, which doesn’t do a whole lot of damage, but it DOES lower Azure’s accuracy so it turns into a pain in the ass to deal with.  The good news though is that Azure’s special attack gets pretty juiced up from taking enough Nimbus Fists that her ember is enough to whittle off the last remaining bit of health Squirtle has left.

So thankfully, no deaths!  =D;  Y...yay.

I think I’m about played out for the time being, so yeah, I’ll be continuing this in another part.  :T  Pray for us.  No really, pray for us.

- Key