#Reliable Insurance
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I deliberately avoid scalding hot showers for POTS and skincare reasons but even a quick lukewarm wash gives me a 100 degree fever because I am a reptile in real life and cannot control my internal temperature
#If it's hot outside I get a fever#I have permanent heat rash and heat exhaustion in the summer#Last time I had reliable health insurance they kept having to admit me for heat exhaustion and heatstroke in my own apartment
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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I was supposed to have a therapy appointment today (which I very much need especially rn) for the first time in years, but when I got down there they told me the therapist wasn't in and there are no openings for 2 months. And ig it is what it is, but they could have called because I had to buy two Ubers to get there. So I'm just as suicidal as before AND out 50 bucks! Thanks so much!
#i already waited 2 months just for this one how can i depend on there actually being one next time like what am i even waiting for#why stick around if idk if I'll get help. I'm going to sleep to make up for the fact that i got up early for nothing too#i wish i could afford better more reliable medical care but my insurance is shit
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really ready for life to stop literally draining my life savings
#god i miss my predictable shitty job and reliable shitty apartment and bike commute so fucking much#rent. fees. security deposits. lather rinse repeat. bills. car repair. insurance. rental car. gas. internet. destination wedding. fuck#some day. SOME DAY. i will get to spend my money on FUN things#tbd
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PSA if you are waiting on smth like perhaps a job interview go check your spam folder. do it RIGHT NOW 🔫 just in case
#just checked mine and figured out someone DID email me back abt a job!! i still have to interview but i have a good shot at getting smth#and its like a real adult job :'D if i get it i get health insurance!! and DAYS OFF and a reliable schedule#levi.txt#this might be super obvious to everyone else but i just want to put it out there in case someones like me and hasnt thought of it#spent all last month sad abt not being able to find anything and feeling useless and lo and behold its been there for weeks#i literally only checked bc i saw someones post abt how they just missed a big opportunity bc it went into spam. complete chance
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as a civil service employee it always annoys me when businesses offer discounts to military & vets for their service & then act like other federal employees dont exist. the US government is the largest employer in the USA and it is notorious for lagging behind in pay compared to private sector jobs. most civil service workers live paycheck-to-paycheck; only very recently did the US gov enact a minimum $15 an hour for all civil service employees, because one of the primary reasons people leave civil service is it doesn’t pay enough. if you want to thank people for their service by offering a discount, at least extend the discount to everyone who’s served, civil, military, or otherwise.
#this is brought to you by the dispensary in my area who has mil and emergency responder discounts#bitch i smoke weed too!!!!#give me that 25% off or ill call you a bootlicker#being a fed is great for many reasons including reliable health insurance and union protection#but would you believe me that i could make $5-10 bucks more an hour by getting the same job for a private company
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good thing: ran out of social media so i put on lady gaga and cleaned the kitchen and put my laundry in the washer (yay productivity!)
bad news: opened my refund cheque from the health insurance company and I got $15 less this time than the last time I submitted a claim for this same medication. losing my mind. why. i don't been wanna know. i don't even wanna check my policy and see if they're screwing me over or if there's a written reason for that. seriously considering switching to Blue Cross anyway bc everyone I know has had good experiences with them, and frankly my boss is only using this tiny shitty company bc they were cheap like 5 years ago. Blue Cross isn't that much more per month (though it is more, boo) and I would just feel better having that instead of dealing with this (also the fucking DIRECT BILLING FOR PHARMACIES I'D GIVE MY LEFT ARM FOR THAT--. also also, if I have my own insurance I won't lose it if I leave the company.)
all in all, roller coaster of an hour here.
#my boss put a thing in our calendar for 'meeting with 'new' health insurance' and i suspect it's the samw company just trying to be like#'noooooooooo big corporate client don't leeeeeaaaaaaveeee uuuuuussssss we're not scammers we promiiiiise!!'#idk. ill sit through the meeting but. unless we're switching to a new company i think in the new year ill switch#consistency and reliability and NOT the constant feeling of being lowkey screwed over is worth $10 extra
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as it turns out my city DOES have an adult learn-to-play hockey league so now i get to live out my recover(ing/ed) bitch dreams and play h o c k e y.
#full tuition for ASL classes at the local institute for the Deaf and Blind is under $100#local ballet company has non-professional adult classes for $18/class or $160 upfront for 10 classes#life is too short to not invest in things that bring me joy#(not to mention that i do have progressive hearing loss and i WILL get to a point where i won’t be able to reliably hear shit#without hearing aids my insurance is currently refusing to cover. so ASL for me n zach is not only an interest thing but just…#a smart thing to do.)#i love saying ‘my hearing is going to get to the point where i won’t be able to hear much wo aids’#like my hearing tests aren’t a mess#50db range of loss but instead of missing high frequency sounds#my mid frequency is subpar at best and my low frequency is dog shit#‘yes i can hear that faint high pitched ringing. no i cannot hear music in the car if the volume is lower than 20/40. we exist.’#anyways i digress
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i literally cannot believe someone just stole our fucking car out of our goddamn driveway
apparently this is a widespread problem with kias and hyundais, there's a huge safety issue exploit that was recently found that makes them easy to steal
my boss's daughter had the same thing happen to her, and the police said it's been a huge thing. yaaaay! fucking! car theft!
#the worst part is this is the first semi-decent car we've ever owned#before this we had a shitty 2004 pontiac sunfire that was falling apart#we finally saved up enough to put a substantial down payment on a nice car and we were so excited to have something reliable that we could#actually take on decent trips#like insurance is going to take care of it my partner has full coverage#and if they get it back in driveable condition the repair will be covered#but also What The Fuck#this is Bullshit#personal#vent#GOD I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIERS PLEASE STOP!
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about to have my last doctor appointment for the foreseeable future. losing the health insurance I have had for three years with my job.
#[static]#getting my last prescription for my adhd meds thatll last me another 3 months but after that we will see if I can afford it#it sucks majorly and theres been a shortage so there is no telling if I will even get my prescription on time before the insurance runs out#next week i have an appointment with PH to switch my T from gel back to injections since I cant afford my prescription without insurance#gel has been the only reliable way to get my T out here#it's never out of stock but the injection was constantly not available for months at a time the year i first started#hopefully that has changed!#wow it's been almost 4 years on T#was just looking at myself on camera while im waiting for the doctor to show up in call and realized how much my beard has filled in#still a little patchy in some places but it is so full now aaaaa i love it
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drives me crazy when casual employers act like they’re beholden to treat their employees badly even when they ✨don’t want to✨ esp when it’s an under-the-table type situation
like “ooh i can’t deny them work even though i’m the one cancelling on them, so i’ll bend over backwards to make sure they still do the same number of hours” …..or you could. idk. pay them their promised hours and give them the day off anyway on public holidays or if you cancel last-minute
#anyways 🤪#like if they as a person would rather do the work then that’s fine that’s very different#but give them the option?????????????#of like… income security!!?????#it’s like how car insurance can be multiple levels y’know#bomb insurance where they won’t cover damage to your vehicle but they’ll pay for other people’s cars if you crash into them#vs comprehensive where (if eligible) they’ll cover all* costs#like. okay. they’re a casual employee and there’s no contract#but also there’s no oversight and no set minimum wage and thus no guarantee of the +25% casual loading#which is kinda the only income protection for casual employees is that they get paid a bit more#like. dude. you say you care about this person. maybe fucking pay them reliably if it’s your fault#or if they would get public holiday pay in a permanent role maybe like. idk. give it to them?#anyways#rant#you don’t even give them sick leave this is the least you can do!!!! you can fully plan for it and it’s no extra cost to you it’s literally#what you budgeted for!!!!!!
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One of these days I'm going to actually revisit my idea for an essay analyzing Zenos
Maybe once I actually have access to like. Medicine.
#I have tasted being able to function like a normal human being semi-regularly and then had it stolen from me by falling off insurance#and I have never returned to those lofty heights of#''can reliably one or twice a week Get Shit Done''#caffeine helps a bit but I'm epileptic so taking enough to actually impact my brain positively is taking enough to impact it negatively#it's a raw numbers problem#I can't produce reliably enough to build a patron base#so I can't afford meds#which means I can't produce art reliably...#which means... you get the idea#and it's not like there are any jobs within walking distance rn#and I can't drive bc (as before) I need meds#and given my mother's ongoing health issues and my dad being diagnosed with diabetes recently#something that isn't life threatening just isn't a priority
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Under the Hood: Mastering Basic Car Repairs at Home
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#health insurance#auto insurance#insurance#Reliable Restaurant Liability Insurance#Restaurant Liability Insurance
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A lot of people in the Philippines believe in "UTANG NA LOOB," which in translation means conscientious debt; it applies mostly in scenarios where someone helps you, and you are guilted by your conscience or someone to repay them back in the same manner that they have helped you. There are some cases where some older people believe in just helping out of the goodness of their heart. However in the Philippines, it is also customary for traditional parents to assign one child to take care of them for when they finally retire. Usually they say, "It is not a job nor an obligation, but it is an act of love." many would not agree with this practice as it sometimes hinder that one child from experiencing life. There are families however who ingrain this practice onto their children at an early life, not necessarily do they live with their parents or let their retired parents live with them, but they ingrain this practice through guilt or gaslighting the child to feel pity or guilt.
In many cases, the parent would usually say "When you have your partners and they do not agree with us living with you? what will you do?" A child being a child of age 5-8 would obviously cling to their parents and say they would break it off with their partners. however as a child grows, and mind develops, they become more independent, and it becomes the parents pride and joy. However with this independence, there is also rebellion against the values and teachings the parents have used, which leads to arguments and gaslighting/ guilt trip.
The growth of independence becomes more of a problem especially when the child in question is no longer following the programming of their parents. It is a very common occurrence in the Philippines as they take pride in being family oriented, and wanting to be with their families. As the culture in the Philippines, they call everyone (even foreigners) "Kabayan" which translates to "country man" , "town mate" and usually Is used as "Friend" . Family is everything to Filipinos, and they treat every neighbor as family, they welcome many people with open arms, and allow you to join in on family events (depending on the type of family).
However, the child will then reflect on themselves and their relationships between their significant other and their parents. In many cases, the partner would agree, and allow the parents to live with them, and allow them to share a home, however, there are some cases where the family starts to stay away from the family due to this practice as well as other factors that caused a strain in their relationship.
#Filipino culture#Reliability#responsibility#children#culture#parents#family#Philippines#insurance baby
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