#kairaya personal stuff

[riotbeankai]

just finished the finale of the silt verses. I don't know if I've ever felt more deeply wounded or profoundly sad about an ending, or really the whole arc, of a story. I have that "I don't know what to do" feeling that comes when you finish a piece of fiction that affects you to your core. big big story and big big feelings

[riotbeankai]

I've watched several Dracula movies from between 1920 and 1973 in the last few days, and I have some thoughts. I think that for a film to be considered an adaptation that is "faithful to the text," it should include:

- Beginning with Jonathan Harker, soon-to-be-lawyer, as a damsel in distress in Castle Dracula

- Dracula is charismatic and confident in a way that makes people overlook things they would otherwise find unnerving

- Features ALL 3 of Lucy Westenra's suitors, and EVERYONE loves Lucy so much, which is why it is all the more impactful when she dies, undies, and has to be killed again

- Quincy Morris is properly an American cowboy with a gun and a Southern US accent

- Dr. John Seward runs a mental hospital, and he is melancholy, a workaholic, and skeptical

- Lord Arthur Holmwood is very emotional, throws a lot of money around, and uses his title to get around obstacles

- Dr. Abraham Van Helsing is a highly respected and renowned scholar, and he is appropriately Dutch, friendly, and eccentric

- garlic FLOWERS, crushed up communion wafers, stake thru the heart AND cutting off the head, basically all the lore rules should match the text rather than popular or historical mythos

- Mina Murray is appropriately obsessed with trains and their schedules, and her knowledge is integral to defeating Dracula, and both Jonathan and Van Helsing are obsessed with how smart and cool she is

- Jonathan is so devoted to Mina he would fight God for her, and he has a big knife and his hair turns white in the middle of the story

- All the vampire-hunter cast are/become extremely close friends that frequently express their admiration for each other

I can honestly accept a lot of the plot being condensed or implied, to limit the number of locations or repetitive scenes so you don't end up with a 4 hour movie. However, I'm not a fan of the way so many of the film adaptations I've watched have condensed, reinvented, and/or switched around the names or relationships of the characters. It feels to me like a very different story when the characters and their dynamics together are changed so much, and the ending usually feels anticlimactic without the appropriate "we defeated the evil with the power of friendship" vibe.

[riotbeankai]

I'm gonna throw up. I rly didn't even allow myself to consider that this would happen. I just focused on doing what I could control and assuming life will be okay and not worrying about what if the worst happens. I don't know what to do with this news.

[riotbeankai]

You're out of touch, I'm out of tiiiiime (but I'm out of my head when you're not aroooound)

[riotbeankai]

Today is the day to talk to my boss about FMLA leave and stuff, pls wish me luck/send me strength I'm nervous as hell

[riotbeankai]

One day I'll play disco elysium. I'd love to understand how those gameplay mechanic even work

[riotbeankai]

Just paid off the final balance of my last student loan 🥳

[riotbeankai]

Do I trust my dash enough to browse tumblr while in public at this coffee shop? We shall see

[riotbeankai]

I'm fucking freeeee

[riotbeankai]

just sent the email to HR to ask for the paperwork to request FMLA leave from work 🙈

[riotbeankai]

I keep seeing a post with a satirical headline about how it's "heartbreaking" that the "weird" kid who refused to stand for the pledge of allegiance in school was right. Like..... wow can't relate I guess I was that "weird" kid but yall were actually unquestioningly standing for?? what?? like you actually were proud of the USA or something?? you actually believed any of the words you were forced to say?? you weren't just going thru the motions because the teacher would yell at you or send you to detention if you didnt?? and also why the hell would it be "heartbreaking" to realize that it's actually fucked up to do that, like the "worst person you know just made a good point" meme?? YALL were the weird kids if you all actually feel sad to find out that it's not normal and good to force kids to recite nationalist propaganda every single day. that is absolutely baffling to me this is like finding out people unironically believe in god all over again

[riotbeankai]

I hate credit cards. I hate hate hate hate hate credit cards, credit cards should never be allowed to be used by staff for business purposes, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it

[riotbeankai]

I really wanna watch I Saw the TV Glow but I really don't want to spend $20 to RENT a movie on streaming. Wtf is that about, who the fuck is paying that much to access a movie for 48 hours

[riotbeankai]

Hey um. What

[riotbeankai]

Shower tips for depressed neurodivergents

This won't work for everyone obvs but here's what I do when the Depression Hygiene gets bad. Worded in first person because it's what I do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bare minimum:

Warm-hot water at highest pressure setting my skin can stand

Shampoo scrub on the greasy mess of hair, getting as thorough to the root as I can muster energy to do

Soapy scrub on the creases and crevices of the pits, tits, and bits (no soap inside the pink parts, but don't forget a soapy finger in the bellybutton)

Thorough rinse of hair and skin at the highest pressure I can stand, followed by a rinse at the coolest temperature of water I can stand

If I feel up to it:

Soapy scrub of the hairline and greasiest bits of the face

Thorough rub and scrub on/around my ears, especially if I have greasy hair or headphones around them a lot

Second shampoo and maybe even conditioner

Soapy scrub on the feet, getting thoroughly around and in between each toe

To try if I'm feeling fancy:

Use one of those shower steamer bath bomb things, or take a bubble bath first to soak in some good smelling colorful stuff, and then shower off the gunk

Special face wash/treatment or one of those stereotypical self-care face mask things

Maybe like a sugar scrub kind of thing on the legs and feet and anywhere else those are good for

When done:

Thoroughly dry off, spend some time air-drying mostly naked if I can

This tip is not just for me: BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Half-ass it if needed, don't use toothpaste if you can't stand it, avoid the very back of your tongue if it makes you gag too much, use a cloth (sweatshirt sleeve was my go-to as a teen) instead of a brush if that's easier, but at the VERY least, scrub some gunk off your teeth. Those are VERY important for being able to eat and VERY expensive to replace and fix if they rot

Put on the cleanest, comfiest, driest clothes I can find

Replace my greasy pillowcase and snuggle a cat or a plushie for a while

TL,DR: Shampoo the hair, soap the pits, tits, and bits, and BRUSH YOUR TEETH (or at least rub em down with a cloth).

[riotbeankai]

One more day of work and then 2 weeks of FMLA