#RelationshipDrama

[relationshipsway]

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

[beatsboy]

looking up the reviews for an episode of a show you really like to find out if it was actually bad or if you’re just depressed

[wiseomgoodaicontent]

The Hidden Thread | Episode 19: A Test of Trust Anya and Varun's bond is tested when an unexpected figure from Varun's past reappears—Maya. Jealousy and insecurity cloud Anya's heart, but trust becomes the key to overcoming their fears. Will Anya believe in Varun's reassurances, or will doubt tear them apart? Find out how trust is truly tested in this episode. Read the full update!

[relationshipsure09]

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If you've ever wanted to know how to truly understand any man, then this is the most important video you'll ever watch.

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[otaviogilbert]

Shocking Revelation: Ariana Grande Exposes Dalton Gomez's Betrayal

In this shocking revelation, Ariana Grande opens up about Dalton Gomez's alleged betrayal, shedding light on their relationship's unexpected turn.

[piyusha30]

Vanderpump Rules Season Finale Recap: Farewell to Scandoval and Explosive Revelations! | VanderpumpRules | BravoTV | RealityTV | Season10 | Scandoval | TomSandoval | TomSchwartz | DramaAlert | MustWatch | EmotionalGoodbyes | ExplosiveRevelations | RelationshipDrama | CastDeparture | AddictiveTV | HeartfeltMoments | RealityShow | IntrigueAndSuspense | GoodbyeScandoval | TVSeries | GlamorousSettings | VPRFamily | BingeWatch | RealityTVAddict |

In the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules Season 10, titled “Scandoval,” the Bravo reality series bids farewell to longtime cast members while delivering its signature blend of drama, revelations, and heartfelt moments. The season finale serves as a culmination of the ups and downs that have unfolded throughout the season, leaving viewers with a mix of emotions. The episode centers around the…

[relationship21]

10 Best Pieces Of Relationship Advice, Straight From Couples Counselors

“Most of us operate in crisis mode for our relationship, only giving it sincere attention when there’s a problem that needs fixing,” says Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, a clinical psychologist practicing near Philadelphia. “But a relationship is like a garden read more click now

[nanorelationship]

"You are killing US with YOUR jealousy"

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk. I am always ready to learn. I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

[praguian]

Jealous Boyfriend Prank Goes Wild! 😱 Watch How a Fun Moment Sparks Drama...

[beatsboy]

4.12

there are some things you don't know. i don't know if you've seen my spotify playlists about you. i don't know if you can feel the tension hanging between us as something much more than merely platonic or sexual. but i'm pretty sure you think i'm just a person who is your friend again, who you maybe had feelings for in the past, who only wanted to fuck. i know how it looks, and to be honest, if i explained it, i don't know that it would look any better in the full light, but i need to get it out, and i need to be honest with fucking someone in my life, even if it's my computer.

i fell in love with you the instant i met you. i didn't even have the money to take you out to brunch the next day, but i wanted to, so i did. i don't remember a lot from that night. we were pretty fucked up. but i do remember some things. i remember asking if i could put your dick inside of me (sorry lol). they'd done it in the trans porn i'd watched, so i thought it was okay. i was also borderline blackout drunk. my judgement wasn't its best. but i wanted you. i wanted every part of you i could fit in my hands, in my arms. to put it nicely, i was obsessed.

when i met you, though, i had just gotten out of three relationships, in a way. of course, there was JB, who i had just finally freed myself from after 5 long years of being hung up on a quite average white, cis, bicurious man. waiting for him to want to be with me for real again. we'd fucked around for a long time, pre and post breakup with my lookalike. i had spent so long wanting him and getting barely anything in return, and savoring every part of it. i had also just been ghosted by my two best friends of 5 years. and i still didn't fully understand what went wrong with addy and avery, but i knew i would make sure things were different with you, because i didn't want to fuck this up.

so i followed every rule, i kept myself at a safe distance. when you left me to be with someone else--a date, a lover, a partner, a flirt--i didn't complain, and i surely didn't show if i was jealous. right after we met, i went on a roadtrip with camilla. we spent hours alone in the car together, just the two of us. and i couldn't stop talking about you. you're the only one who really knows how much i've changed since i met you. you met me right at the start. i didn't know anyone who was doing this shit before i met you. i had just spent the last year or so withdrawing further into myself, denying and figuring things out at the same time. i became addicted to drugs, got fucked up every night in my room, spent all my time on tiktok. i looked the part in some ways at that point, but you were still the coolest person i had met in my life. and i was so content being your friend, being friends with a musician, with another person living in la, but a person who was doing things i actually liked.

i never wanted to move to la, not the la that avery showed me. when i visited her, we went to the grove, to bars like the den, got drunk in weho, wondering why i felt the innate need to run away. i never felt that way with you. but being here with you made me want to make this place my home. i'm getting off topic.

i'm writing this letter as a record of how i felt, in case i ever try to convince myself it happened differently in my head again.

this first part is to say that i wanted you so badly, i wanted you to be my girlfriend the minute i met you, but i didn't want to ask for too much. you were in a relationship. it was not poly at the time. you were open, though, so i took what i could get. i took late-night hookups after we went out. we used to do that all the time. and i was always afraid if i said something, it would break the spell and it would be over. the thing you don't know is how many poems, journal entries, and songs i wrote about how much it killed me to be the one you hooked up with here while you got to be in love with someone else thousands of miles away. if you were poly then, i might have told you how i felt. you had nic, though, and i knew that from the beginning. so i never let myself take it any further, not outside of my own head, anyway.

and then, you became poly. but at that point, i had met troy. i met a sweet, cute boy who kind of looked like a girl. and he was obsessed with me back. it felt so good to be with someone who wanted me so unashamedly, so limitlessly. i didn't have to compete with anyone else, i knew i was the best thing he'd ever had and probably ever would have. but i knew you didn't like it, not at first. or maybe that was in my head too. but i remember going to sour prom with you, jace, and troy (our second date) and i remember feeling your jealousy. i told myself that you were just jealous as a friend is when someone else steps in and takes their attention. but that was the first time i  wondered if maybe you'd had feelings for me too. but it was too late. i knew you were upset when we had the wedding. i remember talking to jace about it and him asking if i thought you were jealous. but you had addy, and you seemed happy about it eventually, and i had found someone who could be with me all the time.

have you ever wondered why troy and i became open and i never fucked anyone besides you? i missed you. i missed your body, kissing you--i missed the space between platonic and romantic. i missed the delusion i used to play in my head that maybe, way down the line, we would be together. i used to think that maybe if you and nic broke up, that we would be together. but by the time that happened, you already had two other partners. so, yeah, we only opened up our relationship so i could fuck you. and had a brief period of discussing the possibility of poly, because i wanted to be with you. and i thought maybe, i guess, if we were poly, that i could have both. i could finally have what i'd wanted since the moment i met you--you, and i could have troy to fill the spaces in between when i didn't have you. but that's not what happened.

this brings us closer to the end. you came over one night during this time, and i needed you. i needed support. i was going through it. but, as we know, this lasted a long time. and you were talking about dating apps and joann, and you got too high, and you weren't there for me. and i thought to myself, i need more from a partner. i wanted you, but i needed more. and i knew that. so i texted troy that night that i didn't want to try being poly. and i said a lot of reasons why. i said i just want to be with one person or whatever to you, but in reality, it was because i didn't think i could be in a relationship with you, and i didn't want to be poly to be with anyone else.

and why did i stay with him? why did i choose troy over taking the morsels you gave me? because he was there, because i couldn't have you.

to be continued.

[wiseomgoodaicontent]

The Hidden Thread: Episode 6 - A Distancing Act

Varun grapples with the weight of Anya's confrontation and retreats into work, trying to escape the tension. Meanwhile, Anya, regretful but determined, reaches out with a note, hoping to repair the rift. Will they find common ground? A new chapter unfolds.

Catch up on the latest update here: The Hidden Thread Serial Update: Episode 6 - A Distancing Act

[aitadjcrazytimes]

your the only one i have notifs on for. i hope you and your partners live happily but also unhappily.

the united states' only news app that gives you the news unfiltered, unbiased, immediately: TPR (TK's Public Relationshipdrama)

[fiercemillennial]

Summer Walker and Lil Meech: It's Complicated Again

Summer Walker was spotted at a Chris Brown concert with... Lil Meech's mom?! Are they back together or is it just a friendly outing? #SummerWalker #LilMeech #RelationshipDrama

Summer Walker Spotted with Lil Meech’s Mom: Just Friends or Rekindled Romance? Summer Walker and Lil Meech, the on-again-off-again couple that’s kept us guessing for over a year, are back in the headlines. This time, it’s because Summer was spotted at a Chris Brown concert with… Lil Meech’s mom! Naturally, the internet went into overdrive with speculation. Are they back together? Was it just a…