#relationshipadviceforwomen

[relationshipsway]

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

[relationshipsafecute]

"You are killing US with YOUR jealousy"

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

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I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

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Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

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The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

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Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

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I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk. I am always ready to learn. I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

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[relationshipsafe]

How relationship work ?

Relationships are complex and multifaceted, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to how they work. However, there are some fundamental principles that often contribute to healthy and fulfilling relationships:

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. It involves not only expressing your own thoughts and feelings but also actively listening to your partner. Effective communication helps build understanding and trust.

Mutual Respect: Respecting each other's opinions, boundaries, and autonomy is vital. Healthy relationships thrive on a foundation of mutual respect, where both individuals feel valued and appreciated.Trust: There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It takes time to build and can be easily damaged. Being reliable, keeping promises, and demonstrating integrity help nurture trust.Compromise:

Relationships often require compromise. Finding middle ground on various aspects, such as decision-making, activities, and future plans, helps maintain balance and harmony. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Support: Being supportive of each other's goals, aspirations, and challenges strengthens the bond. Whether it's emotional, moral, or practical support, knowing that your partner has your back fosters a sense of security.

Quality Time: Spending quality time together is essential. This doesn't always mean grand gestures; even small, regular moments of connection contribute to relationship health. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Individual Growth: Allowing each other room for personal growth and pursuing individual interests is crucial. Healthy relationships encourage individual development alongside shared experiences.

Shared Values: While differences can be enriching, having shared values and goals helps create a sense of unity and alignment in the relationship.

Conflict Resolution: Conflicts are inevitable, but how they are handled matters. Constructive conflict resolution involves addressing issues calmly, actively listening to each other, and finding solutions together. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Intimacy: Intimacy goes beyond physical aspects and includes emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. Cultivating intimacy requires vulnerability, trust, and a willingness to be open with each other . It's important to recognize that relationships require effort and continuous attention. They evolve, and adaptability is key. Additionally, every relationship is unique, so what works for one couple may not work for another. Understanding and respecting each other's needs and differences is integral to a successful and lasting relationship. If challenges arise, seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist can provide valuable support. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

[relationshipsure09]

Simple Words & Phrases That Capture His Heart

New video reveals how to speak your man in a language that touches a primal inner part of his mind and become a constant source of excitement, interest, and pursuit for him.

You'll discover how to understand him on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say affect him much more than you might think.

When you know how to do this, you'll be able to deeply connect with a man, and powerfully attract him.

Click Here To Watch The Video Now!

[reallytoosublime]

🌟 Embark on a Journey of Empowerment! 🌟 In this short video, I'm thrilled to introduce myself as your passionate Dating & Relationship Coach 🎉. Join me as we embark on a path to unlock meaningful connections and lasting love.

✅ Learn more at https://www.reashahroudi.com/

👉 *Subscribe* to my channel to stay connected with me: https://cutt.ly/CwgpmOOv

[relationshipinfo]

Will You Survive a Relationship Breakdown?

Relationships connect us in this world with each other. We have many kinds of relationships-parental, sibling, friends, professional and love. We go through many phases in all these relationships. Ups and downs are part of our life and our relationships. Most of us can bear break down in most of the above relationships except those of love. Why? Who will survive a breakdown in romantic relationship and who will get shattered? Let us discuss.

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The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. It is very simple equation. But let us remember that life is not made of equations and emotions do not behave mathematically. So it all boils down to personality. There are some who expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma.

On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. This is the vulnerable class. If by bad fate, they are ditched by the partner, they will suffer very bad trauma. They will never believe that this could ever happen and all their life they will spend wondering how it happened. Their faith in their partner is absolute. They trust their partners most and for them the shock of the broken trust is unbearable. They need psychiatric help. Hopefully with professional help they may recover. But at times the trauma is uncontrollable. They lose their faith in life and everyone else. The betrayal kills their inner core and the will to carry on. If you are one such type, please go into any relationship with the awareness that your partner may not be as honest as he/she looks.

Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. Sometime I feel that the world is for people who are practical and never allow their heart to rule over their mind.

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[gmworking]

3 PROVEN Methods to End Conflict and REBUILD Connection

🔥 Has persistent arguing eroded the loving feelings you once had for your partner? 😔 Has constant emotional turmoil chipped away at the fun, laughter, and chemistry you once felt for them? 🥺 Perhaps you’re even considering leaving the relationship for good. 💔

🚀 Far too many relationships are ending because couples aren’t utilizing powerful tools and effective methods that will help bridge the gap in hearts and minds to start the rebuilding process. 💪 If you’re ready to try something new to find your way back to your partner, this video is for you! 🎥 The methods you’re about to learn have the capacity to radically shift the energy between two people and rebuild an even more powerful connection than there was before. 💑 If you found value here, I highly recommend bringing your partner on board to view it as well. 👫 If there's love still between you, there is hope!! 🌟

[relationship7022]

Building Your Confidence in Dating Women

When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

Lern More

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people - those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

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Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them! l

[relationshiptec]

The Missing Link In Every Relationship

Sex? Communication? Romantic Dates?

All these things are important, but a breakthrough new video reveals the surprising factor that can make ALL the difference in a relationship and few, if any women (or men) are even aware of it!

The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think.

If you're frustrated with your man going cold, losing interest, or pulling away, then this video is a must watch:

Click Here To Discover What Men Secretly Want, But They Could Never Tell You. Click link below pic

[relationship21]

Everything you need to know about maintaining strong and healthy relationships whether you're married, dating,online dating, relationships, romance,

[forever-relationship-123456]

5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You

"I don't get it!…"

"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"

STOP!

How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?

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The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.

But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:

Get free advice for a good and long relationship. Help Link

1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.

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2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman's face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.

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3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!

4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.

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5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!

I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.

Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!

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[frostywisdom]

What to Do If You Want Your Ex Back (Stop Being Nice to You Ex)

When trying to get your ex back, keeping your emotions in check is essential. Getting too emotional will only push your ex away and make you appear needy and desperate. Instead, you should remain calm and collected, even if your ex is cold and distant. This doesn't mean that you should hide your emotions completely. Just don't let them control you, and always remain level-headed. After a breakup, giving your ex some time and space is important. This doesn't mean that you should completely ignore them, but it does mean that you shouldn't try to force them back into a relationship. If they need some time to themselves, then let them have it.

[relationshipsafecute]

A Friend In Need

Here’s the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Ray lived in a beautiful penthouse. He had a degree in Computer Science and was accustomed to the finer things in life – designer labels, frequent travel, and spa week-ends. When Ray told Julie he would repay her and signed a paper promising to do so, Julie didn’t think anything of it.

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A couple of weeks later, Ray tried to hit Julie up for more money; this time to furnish his new home. When she told him that she wouldn’t be able to help him out this time, he accused her of being cold and hung up the phone on her. Julie suddenly realized that she was being taken advantage of. Her hurt quickly turned to rage. She wanted to know how someone could be so self-serving and inconsiderate. If Julie had been weak enough to lend Ray another several hundred dollars for furniture, how could he sleep at night knowing that she had expenses of her own to look after?

We as women have an innate desire to nurture whenever possible. Many of us have learned the hard way we must always keep our guard up – spot when we may be being misled or taken advantage of. It is a common belief that a woman who is eager to lend money to a man, suffers from niavity, desperation, or poor self-esteem. But in this case it was a loan not a gift, and a friendship not a romantic relationship.

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We all know how risky it is to lend money to a friend of either sex. Some of us decide to give the lendee the benefit of the doubt because we think we know and trust them. Some of us are vigilant enough to take precautions to make the loan legally binding. The bottom line is that we need to stop stereo-typing and pointing fingers at a woman who would lend a man money. We need to take a closer look at the character of anyone who would try to take advantage of a friend’s generosity.

Along with her respect for him, Julie also lost all compassion for Ray and their so-called friendship deteriorated.? The fact of the matter is that no one can respect a man who fails to respect others. When he performs actions that are self-serving and manipulative, his sincerity, his honour, his integrity, are all called into question.

CLICK HERE

They say,"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."

[ambirneyakannan]

Once you enter that phase, trust me, you wouldn't back off! . . . ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿ Hey guys, This is Amsa here! I post my rants, some famous & heart wrecking quotes and some literature things here! Hope you enjoy my page! ♡ ㅤ    ❍ㅤ     ⎙ㅤ     ⌲ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿ [Tags] #mentalhealthawarness #relationshipadviceformen #aestheticartist #mentalhealthawarnessday #relationshipadvices #mentalhealthawarnessweek #loveadviceforwomen #aestheticartists #aestheticartistry #girlsgirlsgirls #relationshipadviceforwomen #aestheticarts #aestheticart #loveadvices #relationshipadvicer #relationshipadviceyoucanuse #aestheticartcreator #aestheticartstyle #loveadvice #aestheticartworks #aestheticartpieces #aestheticartisans #aestheticart1020 #relationshipadvice #aestheticartwork #mentalhealthawarnessmonth #relationshipadvicequotes #relationshipadviceoftheday #aestheticarthoe #relationshipadvice101 (at India) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoFvwZtB1tv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[relatioshipsafe]

The TRUTH About How Men Think...

Breakthrough new video reveals the surprising reason men aren't committing to you, and EXACTLY how to get them to commit and say "YES" now!

Discover the simple shift you can make to see the world through a different lens; a lens that will reveal exactly what men are thinking and what they really want in a woman.

If you've ever wanted to know how to truly understand any man, then this is the most important video you'll ever watch.

Click Here To Watch The Free Presentation Now!

[relationshipinfo]

Women! Get More Love By Giving Less.

Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about Overnurturing.

What is Overnurturing? It’s doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It’s the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman.Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them. Though many of us have caught onto this, it’s challenging to stop doing what we’ve always done, what we’ve been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I’m going to tackle one little issue — Nurturing.

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interestedin your relationship. Click Here

Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man.

Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband’s feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out. He will.

This whole concept of nurturing is a dilemma for most of us. We think of mothering, nurturing, caring for our young as a feminine aspect of ourselves.

It isn’t.

Nurturing and caring for others may be a female trait — Motherhood is female — but it’s still about action! Nurturing is about doing. Giving. Your energy goes out of you and toward or into someone else. When you give, you are acting from a masculine energy place.

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interestedin your relationship. Click Here

We are so accustomed to the idea of nurturing being feminine, we get confused. We think being loving to our men is nurturing them. Massaging their bodies, minds and spirits. There is nothing wrong with the idea of nurturing — it’s the form our nurturing takes that causes so much difficulty. We are all composed of masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energies. We move through them fluidly at our best, and are stuck in one or the other at our worst.

But most of us are stuck at one extreme or the other. We either give too much all the time and then find ourselves resentful all the time, or we go the other way and make ourselves emotionally unavailable to our dates, our husbands, our boyfriends, and every man we meet.

Too often, our nurturing energies are perceived by men as mothering. Our actions seem intrusive. We seem to be judging them and finding them coming up short — otherwise why would they need taking care of? On the other hand, they love attention. Don’t we all?

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interestedin your relationship. Click Here

To strike some sort of balance when we are all so mightily out of balance, I’m asking you to pull back to zero. To at least imagine pulling back to zero. The baby steps you actually take may seem huge. When you stop doing for your man what he doesn’t need you to do, yet has grown accustomed to your doing, may resent your not doing, and will certainly find himself relieved that you’ve stopped doing, things may get messy before they get better. But they will get better.

This is all about Overfunctioning.

What does Overfunctioning and Overnurturing look like?

You come to the door the moment he gets home and ask him how his day went. You offer to massage his neck, his feet, his back because he looks so tired (even though you’re just as tired.) Or you give your date directions to your house before he asks. And you invite him in and offer him something to eat or drink without even knowing what he has in mind for the evening. You offer to cook him a meal when he’s barely taken you out to a decent restaurant. You offer sex to your husband, without being asked, and even if you’re not in the mood, because you figure you should. You ask him how he feels, and demonstrate concern for his feelings and moods.

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interestedin your relationship. Click Here

This sounds nurturing, but it’s not. It’s mothering. Nurturing a grown-up is giving him what he wants, not what you think he needs. Nurturing a grown-up is not tolerating what you don’t want. Not tolerating him treating himself badly or carelessly if it’s damaging to you or his relationship with you — this means smoking, eating badly, not working, never leaving the house.

And you do it not by telling him what he needs to do and helping him do it, but by telling him how angry it makes you feel when it’s happening. Or telling him how good it feels when he does something that makes you happy. Let him figure out how to take responsibility for making you and the relationship happy — on his end of it.

This is feminine energy — the expression of honest-to-goodness feelings. All the caretaking and fixing and doing and massaging and concern is masculine energy in action, and it will get you nowhere near what you want.

Try it the feminine way. Stop nurturing a grown-up man, and start expressing your feelings moment by moment. The first time is scary — but then, you’ll see — you’ll wonder how you ever loved any other way.

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