#Reiner x Brown Eyes

[ramonathinks]

THE GAME | eren x reader, connie x reader, jean x reader, armin x reader, reiner x reader [repost]

Summary: what are you supposed to do when your boyfriend promised his teammates that they could have some fun if they win the championship?

18+, (minors/ageless or blank blogs dni or instant block!) WARNINGS/TAGS INCLUDE: black coded reader, 69, oral, nipple sucking, cum eating, 6some (???), male masturbation, squirting, breeding, dirty talk, nipple play, kissing, handjobs, titjobs, fingering, humping/dry humping, choking, facefucking, pussy spanking, finger sucking, pet names, praise, degradation, hair pulling, teabagging, overstimulation, ball stimulation, snowballing

The final seconds had your heart pounding. Tied and neck to neck the entire game had you almost nauseated. Eren had promised a surprise for you when they won, so sitting there the entire night and biting your nails was all that you could do.

So the touchdown had you jumping up from your seat and running into the field. It wasn’t a surprise but you couldn’t contain yourself. He always kept up with his promises but this one was different, you could feel it.

“Baby!” You shouted and with his helmet barely off he did a lopsided grin and ushered you his way, picking you up with ease. “Oh my gosh, your plays were brilliant! I knew you’d do it.”

He smiled and wiped some of the sweat off of his face before he huffed, “I did it all for you. Couldn’t have embarrassed you now could I?” He winked, putting you down and entwining your fingers together.

“Yeah, of course. We’re gonna celebrate the win now, huh?” He raised his eyebrows a bit before he blinked a few times.

“Uh yeah baby. I just need to talk to you about a few things, okay?” You watched his teammates walking back into the locker room, all of them excited and even giving Eren some thumb-up’s you noticed.

“Mhm.” You folded your arms against your chest. “This tells me I’m gonna be pissed.”

“No, no, no…” He scratched the back of his neck. “Well…” He sucked in his teeth. “Just bare with me. Listen okay?”

So you did. You listened to this surprise he planned for you and the promise he planned for his teammates.

“Are you insane?” Was the only thing that left your mouth. You wanted to slap him. But you couldn’t lie, it had you feeling a way… a jolting joy pulsing between your legs. The way he was describing everything had you sweating.

“It was dumb of me. I know, baby. I just… Remember we talked about this ages ago? Me watching some guys take you and how sexy that’d be?”

You both had talked about it. It was a mutual fantasy but to actually engage in it? You gulped, “I…”

“It’ll just be a one time thing. I promise, you know unless…” He trailed off, a hopefulness in his eyes.

“You owe me big time, I hope you know that.” You grumbled as you walked towards the locker room with him hot on your heels.

It was steamy hot and covered in a white sheet of fog as you walked through, Eren’s hand in yours.

“Eren, yooo!” Called Connie before you finally were able to see him. His tanned skin wet and his slim body had your throat dry. “Ah shit, we doing this right now?” His towel fell to the floor and he grinned at you, his thick cock standing and instantly catching your attention. Dark and thick, enough hair covered around him and his balls bulging.

You felt hot but you bit back a groan, noticing the rest of the few boys circling around you and Eren.

It was overwhelming. These were your boyfriend’s friends… his teammates. They knew you and now…

Now, Eren was pulling your shirt down. Your brown nipples are already hard as you look at the boys over. He kisses your neck a few times as his teammates' eyes wander, a few of them staring at your breast, but they are hard to ignore.

Big perky brown boobs, Eren always seemed fascinated by them, using any excuse to grab and squeeze them. Just like he was doing now, tweaking at your nipples with the rough pads of his fingers.

Until you looked down and realized that it wasn’t Eren. It was Jean, who in a swift second had your legs buckling with just his fingers before he finally put one in his mouth.

Eren’s comforting warmth left you and an unfamiliar big strong chest welcomed you. You knew who it was before you peeked behind you, Reiner. His strong body was easy to recognize just against your back you could feel every ridge and every ab that he possessed. You gulped when his rough hands trailed up and down your back before he kissed the nape of your neck with cold lips, you shivered.

The sensation of two men against your body making you groan. Reiner’s fingers gripped the front of your neck while he whispered in your ear, “You see how he’s looking at you? That’s how I’ve always looked at you… always wondered how you look under the clothes…”

Eren’s eyes were envious and his cock hard in his uniform. Reiner’s voice drowned out as you stared at your boyfriend, his eyes staring deep into yours until your eyes watered and you were overwhelmed on the pleasure — feeling Jean’s mouth on one of your breast, his tongue swirling on the bud before pressing small kisses around your areola, meeting your intense gaze.

As Jean sucked on your left breast and played with the right one. Timid Armin approached with shaky hands and ducked, pulling down your leggings along with your panties.

Moisture was leaking between your thighs and Eren couldn’t help but to speak up, “Fucking slut, huh? You were acting all crazy about what I said but you’re loving it. So fucking wet… never even got that wet for me.” He slipped his hand in his uniformed pants and continued to watch you. His cock only half out as he stroked himself before he told Armin: “Eat her pussy. Eat it all messy. I wanna hear it.”

Armin gulped but nodded. His breath hot before he spread your flesh a bit and sucked on your swollen clit. Wetness gathering at his chin easily, “Oh fuck.” He used his fingers to massage your insides at the same time Reiner finally kissed you full on your mouth and Jean pinched both of your nipples. You gasped, trembling and Reiner shoved his tongue in your mouth. Sucking everywhere and swirling around in your mouth, drool pooled out the corner of your mouth and you felt as if you were going to faint.

Armin held your legs firm, keeping you still as his tongue dug deeper into your pussy. “How’s it taste Armin?” Eren purred, slowly closer to you.

“Fucking,” He slurped. “Fucking delicious.” His tongue circled your clit and you could feel him smiling against your thighs. “She’s so fucking wet.” Slowly blowing air on your clit, he smiled wider when he saw you twitching.

You almost forgot about Connie until you felt him kissing the other side of your neck, “Couldn’t let you forget I was here, right doll?” You felt him grinding on you, his leaky wet cock against your bare thigh made your eyes flutter.

“Please… I—“ You groaned, you were enjoying this too much. Every bit of you is stimulated and being sucked or played with. Your eyes rolled back.

Connie smiled before he circled your lips with his fingers. “I think this pretty baby just needs something to suck on.” Your mouth slowly opened and he slipped his two fingers inside. Massaging the pink wet muscle as you sucked with your eyes closed.

“Fuck, keep doing that… making her wet and so fucking tight. She likes it.” You heard Armin mutter, slipping his fingers in and out of your sloppy wet cunt as Connie’s finger pumped in and out of your mouth.

Jean kissing and sucking your breast, fingers rubbing at the other one and Reiner with his strong hand around your neck and his boner against your ass, he whispered in your ear again.

“You’re such a bad girl… doing all this in front of your boyfriend. Getting this little body played with in front of him… about to get it fucked right in front of him. You like that?” He squeezed at your throat and you moaned aloud.

“Keep talking to her,” Armin hummed. “You’re getting her so soaked.”

“Oh… you like my voice baby? You like when I talk to you, hm?” Your body felt hotter. “We’re gonna take care of you…gonna make you feel really good okay?”

“O-ooh…Okay. Okay.” Armin plunged three fingers deep inside, turning and stretching them inside of you.

“I need her to suck my fucking dick. I can’t take it anymore.” Connie groaned.

Seconds upon seconds and the heat from everyone’s touch disappeared and you almost cried, tears already in your eyes. “Shhh.” Jean rubbed the sides of your stomach. “Just trying to make you more comfortable, okay?”

You listened and allowed him to move your body as he pleased. Laying you down on one of the benches and spreading your legs. “Fuck… such a pretty pussy.” He spread your lips, dragging a finger down your wet heat.

“Now baby,” Connie said to you from above. You couldn’t see him, just the blurriness of his cock that was so close to your face. “Open wide.”

You gulped and invited him inside. His cock twitching just from your breath. He felt you swallow around him and he took his lip between his teeth. “Oh fuck.”

“She’s got a good mouth on her, huh?” Eren said as Connie slid in deeper before pulling some out, just to repeat it again. Eren’s cock still hard as he pumped himself, clearly edging.

“Fuck yeahh!” He huffed, feeling you swirl your tongue all over his veiny cock. Moving your hands from your side, to cup his balls.

Connie grabbed the sides of your face and put his cock in so deep, that his pelvis was the only thing in your line of vision. It didn’t stop you from squeezing his balls again.

You felt your other hand move and wrap around a slippery wet cock and while Connie pounded at your throat, you heard Armin groan.

Moving your hand up and down, hearing the echoes of wet noises and soft moans, you felt yourself getting ever more drenched.

Moaning around Connie’s cock, you scraped the sides with your teeth a bit and he moaned even louder, liking it. You smiled to yourself and kept going.

Armin spit on your already wet cunt and messily shook his head, watching it drip before he slurped it back up in an instant. Pulling your flesh with his teeth, he sucked a fold in and rubbed circled motions up and down your clit. Your legs were shaking but you just continued to lick and slobber all over Connie’s thick length. Your pussy throbbing as your hips jerked away from Armin’s hungry lips.

“Stay still,” He mutters, but you're just so sensitive that you can’t, almost kicking him away. His tongue is brutal and heavy as he sucks and slurps his way down, your feet curl when he gives you another long suck, a moan deep in his throat and you feel it all throughout your body. You can barely focus on him, your mouth sucking Connie in and your eyes on your sexy boyfriend, in the corner.

“Ah, don’t focus on him. This isn’t about him…” Reiner’s alluring voice comes again and your eyes are on his. His mouth blowing cool air on your perky nipples. “You’ve been slacking on Jean, keep moving your hand for him baby,” Gulping around Connie, you listen and as you stroke his cock, never taking your eyes off Reiner’s, who’s sucking on your tits like he expects milk to come out. You can hear Eren moaning in the background and for a split second you look over to him and meet his eyes, lusty and dark before a hard jolt rings throughout your body. An echo of wetness and a slick slap on your cunt and you flinch, popping Connie out of your mouth to look at Armin.

But it wasn’t Armin’s hand, it was Reiner’s.

“Didn’t I say not to focus on him?” He grabs your jaw and forces you to look his way. “Don’t be a bad girl. You’ve been such a good girl all this time, listening to me. Don’t mess that up.” Your body shivers and it's hard not to look over at Eren, but the intense look in Reiner’s eyes lets you know he means business. Moving his hand down from your jaw, he trails it down to your neck and gives it a small squeeze, looking you deep in your eyes. His other hand grazing your cunt, ready for you to disobey him. “Just what am I going to do with you, hm?”

He kisses you, your mouth full of precum and spit, but he doesn't care how dirty it is. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull and you're gasping, as he kisses you so roughly. His tongue curling into yours and licking every piece of you. You hear Armin whispering about how soaked you’re getting and Connie jerking himself a bit loudly in your face, Jean mutters a small fuck at how youre gripping him so tightly now. The kiss only deepens and you're both sucking on each other, swirling your tongues together and his hands pulling at your nipples, gripping and twisting them. He pulls back and watches as some spit disconnects from your mouths. “Been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Oh, fuck.” Eren moans, his hips jerking and cumming shooting out of his achy cock. But even with the cum leaking, he continues to jerk himself. Connie, uses this time to grip you hair and pull you back down so that you’re lying on your back and rub his cock all over your face.

“C’mon, mama, welcome me back into that throat. Ohhh, just like that. Just need to come, right here. Probably can get you pregnant just like this, hm?” He jokes, pushing himself back inside with a sway of his hips. His pace is even more brutal, probably from feeling neglected.

Jean removes your hand from him and rubs his aching cock onto your breast, while Reiner sucks on the other one, his eyes shut. Armin, slurps up the bits of your slick up before he sits up – sitting on top of you and pressing the weight of his cock against your cunt. “Oh fuck, never been this hard in my life.” He’s aching as he slips his cock out. He's sliding his cock between your wet folds, your body completely over-stimulated. “You’ve always been so nice to me. Now, I’m gonna show you, just…just how much I appreciated you.”

Slipping inside of your wet heat, he groans. “Oh fuck.” He stills, feeling you clamp down on him, his hips flush against yours. Your body is completely filled. Connie eases his cock out of your mouth, your lips wet before you lick them again, he groans and slips it in and out at the tip, your tongue lapping at his wet tip a few times. Slipping his cock out completely, he dips his ball into your mouth and you suck, “That’s nice… such a good girl–Ah! Your tight fucking mouth…” Dipping his full balls in and out of your mouth before putting his cock back into your mouth. Your hand squeezing and massaging his heavy balls as you continue with sucking and choking on his cock, you could feel his cock all the way in the back of your throat. Jerking his hips into your mouth quickly, so close. “Oh baby, you like that?” Breathlessly, your eyes roll back again as you suck deeper. “Oh shit, I’m gonna fucking c-cum.” His legs shake and he grips your throat as he pounds inside before he stills, cum leaking down your mouth, but you keep swallowing.

Armin’s groaning against your stomach as he ruts inside of you, sloppy as you milk his cock. “Swirl your hips just a bit, that’s just how she likes it.” So he does, and you can fill every thrust he gives you. “See how wet she gets?” Eren rubs at your clit, watching your cunt suck in more of Armin. Fucking his cock into you so slowly as you both moan.

“Isn’t she so pretty like this, boys?” It’s the first time in a while you heard your boyfriend’s voice and your eyes are fluttering as you smile. Reiner opens your mouth and your tongue slips out, to which he sucks on. Swirling his tongue against your cum covered tongue.

“Very pretty.” Jean says, his voice strained. His cock throbbing, rubbing his cock up and down your body. Armin’s eyes watching his cock slipping in and out, so much of your cum coats his cock, your legs shaking as you grind your hips against his.

“I think she needs something in her mouth again, Jean…” Reiner taps his shoulder. When Jean finally sinks into your mouth, Armin feels you tighten around him even more and he truly fucks into you, his hips hard as he pounds into your soppy cunt, moaning and groaning. Pulling himself in and out as you whine against Jean’s cock. Armin pulls your legs up so that they’re closer to your face, your hands on his shoulder while your eyes grow spotty, the tip of his cock hitting all the right places. Gooey and wet sounds as you both throb, your pussy still squeezes him all over before he finally cums inside of you.

You swallow and bob your head against Jean. “Her throat feels so fucking good. Connie, how did you last so fucking long, I’m gonna fucking– cum!” His cock pulses inside of your throat, his warm release coming down your throat.

Everyone steps back and admires the sight of you, naked and cum leaking out. "If we win nationals, then I'll fuck you so good, yeah?" Reiner licks up and down your throat as you grow wet again.

[seeingivy]

historic wins

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: mentions of implied SA/uncomfortable agent, nothing else too serious. reader has anxiety before performing, eren being sick in love, baddie moment

an: when I tell you writing this chapter took ten years of my life, it really did. i literally had the worst day ever regardless BUT i regurgitated out and i can't tell if i hate it bc my mood is bad or bc its actually bad if its bad let all just collectively close our eyes please bc it ACTUALLY gave me a tension headache FDSFDSF

previous chapter

--

You knock on the door, the stress sitting on your shoulders, as you hear rustling behind the frame. When it swings open, you’re met with Marco and Reiner answering the doors, the two of them swiftly pulling you in and slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Did anyone see you when you came in?” Reiner asks, his hand still pulling you up the stairs. 

“No. Was-is there someone there or-”

“Paparazzi. They’ve been swarming since yesterday, we've barely been able to leave as it is.” Marco responds. 

They drag you up the stairs and both push open the first white door open. You’re met with five pairs of eyes staring you down. Eren, Connie, Mikasa, Ymir, and Historia - who looks downright horrible. 

You figured it was bad. You had seen the headlines on your way down - saying Historia was canceled, her trending on Twitter, her socials getting blocked. And you always thought that situations like this were sensationalized when you weren't famous, something horrible to go through. But it’s worse than you expected.

She looks sick. 

Her complexion is pale green, her eyes rimmed red, and her hair is tangled into such a mess at the top of her head that it’s making your stomach turn.

The Historia you know - glimmering blue eyes, soft blow-dried hair - is no comparison to the downright ghost you’re looking at now. And the worst part of it all is her expression.

Broken. Defeated. Crushed. 

You walk forward, opening your arms for her to sink into, and she immediately breaks out into sobs. She’s crying into your shoulder, her salty tears making a home against your skin and her cries so loud they're giving you goosebumps. You can see the rest of them behind you - Mikasa and Ymir sharing a knowing look - as Historia lets go and crawls back into the middle of her bed. 

You take a seat next to Eren on the floor, the two of you crisscrossed against her pale pink walls. He links his hand with yours as you plop your head onto his shoulder. 

“Is that everyone?” 

“Yeah, Hisu. The rest of them couldn’t get off and Levi and Hange are on their way now.” Ymir responds, her hands making small circles into her back. 

“Okay. I-I appreciate you coming, even when everyone hates me right now.” 

“We could never hate you, Hisu. Ever.” Eren responds the tone definitive, angry, and firm. It only occurs to you now that you’ve never really seen Eren like this - his shoulders tensed up, the look in his eyes burning hot instead of softly warm. 

“I know, I just-”

“No one could ever make us change our mind about you, Historia. The shit they’re saying doesn’t even sound like you. Why would you randomly fire your agent when you’ve literally loved him for years?” Reiner responds. 

Historia’s face pales at the mention of her agent, the reaction catching all of you off guard. Eren pulls his arm around your shoulder as you both slump farther down the wall, the anticipation, the anxiety of what Historia’s about to say so palpable it makes your throat dry. 

“I did fire my agent.” Historia chokes out. 

You remember her agent well, from when you met him at the season two premiere. He was a tall guy, with chocolate brown hair and a fair amount of wrinkles. He couldn’t be much older than your own parents, but he was always the biggest supporter of Historia. The first person in line to brag about her, about how amazing her career has been, how many credits she has for how old she is. 

“Why?” Connie asks. 

Historia takes a deep breath, her head in her hands and her voice shaky as she starts explaining. 

“I was set to act in Endless Love, that big movie being produced at the end of winter. I had gotten the lead role and I found out on my birthday, while I was still filming that limited series. I-I threw a big party to celebrate the fact that I was turning eighteen, that I was getting my dream roles, that my work was finally coming to fruition and-” 

She pauses, leaning back on her bed as she screeches it out of her voice. And what she says hangs in the air, making your head feel like solid metal. 

“The party ended and he was…congratulating me on everything. And I told him that I appreciated everything he had done for me, how far he had helped me come. And when-when I said that, he said…if I was really grateful, I’d give him a kiss.” 

You pause, the implication sticking in your mind. Eren had hinted it to you before. That people in the industry take advantage, that they’re so powerful, so successful that it makes them feel entitled, deserving of whatever it is they please. 

“I fired him. He went on Twitter, made a few tweets about my character when the news broke and you know how he is. They’re-they’re dragging my name through the mud. Calling me spoiled, that I paid to get the roles that I had, calling me names, sending me death threats and I-”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Levi and Hange will be here any minute and you know they’ve had their fair share of this. Hange especially and they’ll know what to do and-” Ymir starts. 

“This is career-ruining. I didn’t do anything- anything at fucking all and my career is over if I tell the truth. I have to stay quiet, put my head down, and take it all if I still want to do this and I do.” 

You all sit quietly, head down as she pants, the words angrily spilling out of her mouth. The words hang in the air, the silence deafening. Because what do you even say to that? 

Can you really compromise your own feelings for the sake of your career? Your art? 

“Okay, Historia. Let’s talk, just us, okay?” 

You all turn your heads to find Levi and Hange leaning against the doorframes, Erwin standing at the back too. You all stand up, Historia running first to Hange and the rest of you following suit. You and Eren reach for Levi first, squeezing him way too hard. Levi ruffles both of your hair as you look up at him, a soft smile pressed against his face. 

“Okay, run off. Let us talk to Historia first, okay?” 

You both nod, letting go of Levi as you walk down the hall. 

“Levi?”

“Hm, Y/N?” 

“I missed you.” 

“Don’t be corny, brat.” Levi responds, glaring at you. You smile back and he most definitely murmurs something that sounds like I miss you too as you and Eren walk out. 

- 

The lot of you settle for milling around the kitchen, Mikasa talking Ymir down from her hill of rage in the back. You can’t help but watch Eren in the back corner, leaning against the counter with his eyes fixed on the outside. 

There’s a group of stormy, angry-looking gray clouds simmering in the air above, the grass outside lush and green. It’s positively gloomy, the weather matching the storm brewing in all of your heads. 

Eren flicks his eyes over at you, making a gesture for the two of you to go outside. You nod, setting down your phone as you walk over to him, the two of you sliding open the side door and walking out onto the pavement. Historia’s house opens up onto a nice green field, surrounded by lush, flowery hills. 

He’s walking faster than you, his long legs carrying him to the closest slope. When the breeze picks up, it’s moving through your hair strongly and sending a shiver down your spine with it. 

“Are you cold?” 

“Just a little, Eren. I didn’t realize it would be this cold outside.” 

He immediately shrugs off his dark green hoodie, the one you’ve seen a hundred times, and yanks it over your head. He’s placing it over your head haphazardly and you can hear him laughing at your protests. 

“You know, you could have at least aimed for my head when you yanked it on me.” 

“Be quiet. Let’s sit.” 

He plops down onto the grass, lying flat against the flowers as you join him. You’re both watching the clouds swirl above, the blades of grass whistling in the wind against your hands. 

“This is lying down, Eren.” 

“Oh, shut up. Do you always have to talk back?” 

You turn your head to the side, looking into his eyes. 

“Maybe a little bit.”

He rolls his eyes, turning his head back to the sky. You can tell he’s more tense than usual, his jaw clenched against his skull and his eyebrows knit in irritation. 

“Are you okay, Eren? You've seemed off today and-” 

“Quit asking me that!” 

You’re thrown off by the immediate rejection, the tone in his voice so angry it nearly makes you flinch. You can feel your skin burning - in embarrassment and humiliation for asking him something stupid-

His hand comes down on yours, squeezing three times, as he shifts over to face you. You follow suit, the two of you lying on your sides, face to face with your interlocked hands in between you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I-I’m not mad at you. Marco and Connie, they’ve just been asking all day and I’m okay and it’s just getting tiring to-” 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not. I-I can never be mad at you, I just-just got frustrated for a second, but never at you.”

You lift your hand, placing it on his ice-cold cheek, and squeeze once. 

“It’s okay, Eren. I know,” you whisper. 

He gives you a smile, closing his eyes as he leans his head against the flowers. They’re pale yellow and you silently wonder if they’re as soft as Eren’s skin feels under your hand. 

“I’m not okay, Y/N.” he whispers. 

“Want to tell me about it?” 

“I-I have a brother.” 

“Zeke. I remember, Eren.” 

“We-we don’t really get along anymore, but I loved him when I was a kid. He was always so cool - driving me around in his car to get ice cream, teaching me tricks on all the video games I used to play, and acting in all these really cool shows. But, he-he” 

You place a hand on his shoulder, moving it back and forth and trying your best to comfort him into talking. Eren was always the worst with words. 

“He had a scandal like this. And then he started talking to all these big producers, acting differently all of a sudden. He stopped talking to me all together after it all happened and only to my parents when he needed something. Even to this day, he’s come back from what happened but he was never the same. And I-” 

“That’s not going to happen to Historia, Eren. Don’t think like that.” 

He leans forward, dragging you into his embrace, as he digs his face into the crook of your neck. You bring your hands up, dragging him through the tresses of his brown hair as he squeezes harder. 

“It just-I got iced out by him. I wanted to be around him, wanted to be him and he just stopped talking to me all together. I loved him so much and I-

“Eren. Historia loves you. She’s not going to ice you or any of us out from this because she’s not like that. None of us will. And maybe your brother had a reason for what he did.” 

You and Eren stay like that for a few minutes, the words hanging in the air between you. You can feel your chest stinging at Eren’s words, his stress from the situation making more sense now. You curse the fact that Eren might have been dealing with something like death threats, people spewing hatred before he was old enough to even understand what it meant. 

“Hey. You’re supposed to be on my side, Y/N.” 

“This is being on your side. Sometimes that means being a devil's advocate a little bit, Eren.” 

He rolls his eyes as he readjusts and you can’t help but stare at them. His eyes. Bottle green, with specks of darker shades in the middle. Like a clear ocean or a shiny gem, glittering even in the dull light of the clouds. 

“What are you thinking, Y/N?”

“Your eyes have lots of colors, Eren. Pretty greens.” 

“Pretty?” 

“Pretty.”

He smiles, bringing a hand up to your cheek, his thumb tracing the shape of your lips. You can feel your body burning at the touch, at his eyes, at his smell all over you. 

“Eren. What are you do-” 

“Do you ever think about how we live in a fishbowl?” 

“A fishbowl?” 

“Like an aquarium. We’re fish on display, that everyone gets to point at and laugh at and enjoy. And then one day, when they don’t like us, they put their rods out and wring us out.” 

“I guess, Eren. Why do you-” 

“I like being a fish with you.” 

You lean back, squinting your eyes at him.

“You like being a fish with me?” 

“I just mean- that I- I like” 

“You think I smell like a fish, Eren.” 

“What? I didn’t say that- oh my god, I just meant that we’re two fishes swimming together and-” 

“The plural of fish is fish. Not fishes.” 

Eren rolls his eyes, getting up off the grass to tackle you in the grass, pinning you down by your arms to hover over you. He’s smirking at you, his lips only a few feet from yours. 

“You’re annoying, Y/N. I was trying to be cute.” 

“Let me go. Is this how you treat your fellow fish?” 

“Shut up. We’re not fish together anymore because you’re rude.” 

He gets up off of you, plopping back into the grass next to you. You’re both laughing, your cheeks hurting from smiling so hard and the blood rushing to your head. 

“I’m just teasing, Eren. The whole fish thing is cute.” 

“Now you’re just saying that so I’ll stop being mad at you.” 

“Hey! I get what you’re saying. It’s like…we’re fish. People stare and talk and whatever and it sucks. And no one really understands what it’s like to be a fish, even when they’re staring at us through the glass, but you do. They’ll always be something between us and them, but you and I are always on the same side. We-we have each other.” 

He smiles, bringing his hand back up on the back of your neck and pulling you closer to his face. When he talks, he whispers, the breath tickling your skin. 

“So if you got the fish thing why were you giving me so much attitude about it?” 

“I have to keep you in line, Eren. You can’t have all the cards.” 

“I don’t even have one, Y/N. Not even one when it comes to you.” 

He smiles, his eyes shut as he leans forward to press his lips to yours. But before he can, his phone starts buzzing behind him and he leans back, the two of you awkwardly scrambling off of each other. 

The moment passed. 

“Reiner. This better be something fucking good.” 

“What? Okay, we’re coming back now. Oh my god.” 

Eren stands up, holding out a hand to you. You place your hand in his and he nearly yanks you up, the two of you running downhill back to the house. 

“What-what happened?” 

“The TV awards. They announced the nominations.” 

- 

When you both run back in, Reiner and Marco immediately drag you to the center couch, next to Historia who's crying puddles and Ymir who's holding her like there’s no tomorrow. 

“Hisu got a nomination. Despite this shit.” Reiner says, smiling. 

You and Eren smile at each other too, piling onto Ymir and Historia, and squeezing hard. A win. 

When the program starts again, you’re all staring intently at the screen, you and Eren anxiously fumbling with each other’s hands as you wait for it. They’ve announced almost all of them, except the major acting ones which are the only ones you and Eren could really be nominated for. 

“Speaking of historic nominations, lead actor for hit series Attack on Titan, Eren Jaeger, has garnered three nominations - including a major six category for Actor in a Lead Role. He is the youngest person to be nominated for this award.” 

You turn your head, squeezing the entire circulation out of Eren’s hand as the realization sinks in. Actor in a Lead Role. Like Eren’s lifelong dream, Actor in a Lead Role. You reach forward, tangling your arms around his neck as Reiner and Mikasa pile on too, the three of you nearly strangling him by the way you’re shaking him. 

“Okay, okay let me go. You’re going to kill me before I can even go to the show and lose.” 

“Shut up. You’re so winning.” 

He rolls his eyes at you both keep watching the lady, announcing the costume design and casting awards. 

“And finally, our record-breaking announcement. Lead actress for the hit series Attack on Titan, Y/N L/N, has broken history by being our most nominated actress in Institute history. Including nominations for the ensemble cast, she has garnered five nominations, including two major six categories for Actress in a Lead Role and Breakout Actress. She is the first non-SHWA affiliated actress and the youngest to ever do so.” 

Eren drops the remote and turns to you, cupping your face in his hands and dragging your face as close as he can to his. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? You-you’re insane. You just-” 

He nearly leans forward, pressing your lips together for the second time in the past twenty minutes, but Marco and Mikasa cut him off before you can, the two of them jostling you from his embrace to squish you in a hug. You give Eren an apologetic look, which he shakes his head at. 

They’re all squishing you so hard - Levi and Hange pressing kisses to the top of your head and Historia squeezing the life out of all of you - but all you can think about is one thing. Eren, standing a few feet away from you, smiling at you like you’re the sun. 

It only occurs to you then and there.

That you’re in love with Eren Jaeger. 

-  

You guys leave on your press tour two weeks later, meeting up in New York. You have a full day of interviews for the pre-awards show the day before and then you’re all going to fly out to Los Angeles together and attend the awards. 

Not only are you nominated for six awards - which you still haven’t wrapped your head around - you’re also performing at the show. Your agent had reached out to you a few days after the nominations list went out and mentioned that you were listed to perform at the show. 

You hacked it out with Eren. You’d play the piano and perform New Year’s Day, the song you wrote together last year on your birthday, and be done with it. It’s the song you have the most practice working on since the rest of your songs are half-baked. 

But now that you’re doing press, you barely have any time to practice - being stuck between interviews all day. You shake the thought from your head as you and Eren clip your microphone jacks to each other’s shirts before walking onto the stage and standing in view. 

“My name is Eren Jaeger and I’m one of the leads of Attack on Titan.” 

“My name is Y/N L/N and I’m the other lead of Attack on Titan. We’re going to be taking a Friendship Test today!” 

Around halfway through the interview, the crew brings you and Eren little notepads and pens, instructing you guys to compliment each other. You scribble a few thoughts down as you and Eren stand on the stage, now facing each other. 

“Okay, you first, Eren.” 

Eren flips the notepad in his hands, awkwardly fumbling with his fingers when he does. When he looks up, his green eyes are awkwardly meeting yours. 

“Jeez, Eren. I didn’t realize it would be this hard for you to compliment me.” 

“Shut up. I was just thinking about how to start.” 

“More like thinking of what to say.” 

“Be quiet.” 

“Okay, okay. Compliment me, Jaeger.” 

He rolls his eyes, giving you a smile as he runs his eyes over the notepad. He seems much more at ease now, the awkwardness from before coming off in waves. 

“Y/N. I am the most stubborn person on the planet. Which only speaks volumes about how patient, understanding, and compassionate you really are for being my best friend.” 

You can feel your throat getting dry and your eyes welling with tears at literally the first sentence, taken aback by how sincere Eren’s being. The soft eyes, the one he only reserves for when he’s lying down on hills or writing songs with you on the piano are out in the flesh, and they’re making your heart pound so much you’re sweating under the lights. 

“You’ve always been able to sense my feelings - my happiness, my frustrations, my pain - without me having to tell you. And you always, always know how to say the right thing to bring me back down to Earth from it all. You make me a better person and I love you for it.”  

You can feel the tears streaming down your eyes as reach up to wipe your tears away, knowing you’re smudging the makeup your team spent hours on. 

“You’re not terrible to look at either.” 

He smiles into the camera on the side and you can feel the tears spilling from your eyes, your nose filling with snot. 

“Eren.” 

“Told you it was good.” 

“Shut up. That was so sweet, I didn’t even know you knew half of those words, let alone what they mean.” 

Eren reaches forward, rolling his eyes at you as he squishes your cheeks. 

“I literally just called you the best person I know and you’re still being annoying?” 

“Yes. It’s a full-time job.” 

He turns to the camera, moving your squished face towards the camera with him. 

“Do you guys see what I have to deal with? My girl is literally the most stubborn person on the planet.” 

“Didn’t you call me infinitely patient five seconds ago?”  

You both stand back on your marks as you wipe your tears, reaching forward to hold Eren’s hand. You squeeze three times, which he returns with another three squeezes, before you take your own notepad and read your compliment out to Eren. 

“Eren. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for you. Not only because you took a chance on me after our first screen test, but every other hiccup along the way was only something I could swallow because of you. You-your steadfast determination and belief in me is something so inspiring, so warm unlike anything else. You’ve always been a safe place for me, somewhere I can always run to when I need someone. I’m so glad we can always be fish together.” 

Eren smiles at the fish line, leaning forward to crush you in a hug. You can smell the clean laundry smell on his shirt, breathing it in as you soak in Eren’s embrace around you. 

“Hey Y/N.” 

“Hey Eren.” 

“I love you.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Eren.” 

After the interview is over, you and Eren are stuck on this stage for another hour before the rest of the cast comes to do another interview. You both stay in the back, near the snack table and run through the song again.

“Eren.” 

“Hm?”

“I don’t know why I got signed up to perform at this thing. I-I don’t think I’m ready to perform this song yet.” 

“You are. New Year’s Day is a great song and you’re an amazing singer. Plus, the person you wrote the song about is really attractive, so that helps your case too.” 

You reach forward to flick his cheek. 

“Shut up. New Year’s Day is not about you.” 

“I’m literally your inspiration. You literally wrote a love song about me.” 

“You wish, Eren.” 

“I don’t have to. I can see it written all over your face, sweetheart.” 

“Sweetheart? When did you become so cocky?” 

“When did you become so beautiful?” 

“Eren.” 

“Y/N.” 

You’re both cut off by one of the crew members, a shorter, older woman standing near the table with her eyes fixed on you. She smiles when you guys both turn towards her, extending her out. 

“Hi. My name is Le-”

“Leila. I remember. You helped us fix the microphone packs before we started!” you respond. 

“Oh. Yes, Leila. I can’t believe you remembered that. I-I was going to ask you for a favor if that’s okay.” 

“Sure. We’d love to help however we can.” 

“My daughter. She’s a really, really big fan of the show. I was wondering if we could take a picture together so we could send it to her.” 

You smile, gesturing to Eren to stand up with you as you take a picture with her. You and Eren are both taller than her so you put your hands around her shoulders and muster the biggest smiles you can for the picture.

“Are you sure you didn’t want us to make a video of us saying hi to her or anything? Or maybe call her if she’s free? If there’s a paper here we can sign something as well or anything you want.” you ask. 

“Oh, I couldn’t impose. You guys have been so kind already and-” 

“Nonsense. Eren and I are just going to sit here and I’d really love to help make her day. You work so hard day and night on these sets for us and make sure everything works by the time we get here and we really, really appreciate it.” 

You and Eren end up filming a video for her daughter since she’s already asleep so you can’t call her, and you and Eren also sign a few posters for her to take home to her daughter. 

“Y/N. Just so you know, you’re amazing. My daughter was so inspired when you signed yourself up to perform at the awards show after you openly talked about how nervous it makes you. You actually gave her the courage to sign up for a dance team at her school and she actually made it on the team now. My point is you’re a big inspiration to everyone and the strides you’re making for all of us don’t go unnoticed.” 

She gives you both one last hug as she runs off back to the other side of the set, giving you a smile as she leaves. Eren brings his hand around your shoulder, leaning forward as he smiles at you. 

“You hear that, Y/N? You’re an inspiration.”

“It’s weird to hear that, Eren. I remember being that kid watching Hange win on the screen when I was little. And if I win-” 

“When. When you win.” 

“If I win, it’s weird to think that I could be that for someone else.” 

“You’ve always been that way. People are just noticing it now.” 

“Do you have to sign yourself up to sing for the awards, by the way? Because…I never even told my agent that I had written a song. She just told me that I would be performing and then I started prepping.” 

“Yeah. You have to send a demo for them to accept the performance.” 

You lean back, even more confused than you were before. There’s no demo of New Year’s Day. How could they accept your performance if there’s no record of you singing it? How could they even know you wrote a song when the only person who knows you even finished it was Eren? 

Eren. 

“What did you do?” 

“Hm?” 

“You did something, Eren. What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“Eren.” 

“Maybe, I took the sheet music and recorded a demo of me singing it. And convinced them that it would sound even better when you did it, because it’s your song.” 

You smack him across the shoulder. 

“You signed me up to sing the song? In public, on live television?” 

“The song is good. You’re a phenomenal singer. And you can’t become a triple threat unless people hear you sing.” 

-   

You stand on the other side of the curtain, shiny and gold, as you readjust your dress one last time. You take a deep breath as you give a smile to Marco and Jean, who are right behind you, squeezing your arms. 

“You’re good. You look great and you’re going to kill it tonight. And Eren just walked out on the carpet so he’ll be right there.” Marco says, smiling brightly at you. 

You nod, giving the two of them a smile back, as you part the curtains and walk out onto the red carpet. You can feel your ankles shaking from the heels you were wearing, making sure to walk slowly so they didn’t tangle with the long, purple billowing fabric of your dress. As you turn to the right, you’re immediately blinded by the flashing lights and the sound of screaming from the photographers on the other side of the red carpet. 

The lights are so blinding that you can feel yourself squinting, trying your hardest to muster a smile with your eyes closed. You can already feel the embarrassment coming on from how these pictures are going to trend later, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. 

“Put these on.” 

You turn to the left to see Eren, his hair messily styled to perfection. He’s holding up sunglasses, a matching pair in his hand as well. You both place them on your nose, garnering a big amount of cheers from the paparazzi as you both pose together, Eren’s hand around your waist. 

“How did you know?” you whisper under your breath. 

“You can barely handle Armin’s Polaroid. You get used to the flashes, but the first time it’s hard to adjust. And this is a big night, so I had to make sure I had a contingency plan.” he says. 

“Always thinking ahead, huh?” 

“Only for you, sweetheart.” 

All you can think about is the awards, the performance, and the anxiety building in your stomach with every passing second. You force a smile as you both walk down the carpet, stopping every few seconds to take pictures and smile. At one point, Eren stands in front of you in the camera, blocking the view. 

“What a picture, Eren. You really want them to get a shot of your ass?” 

“No. Your dress. It’s kind of sliding off the side.” 

You look down, realizing that in all the movement and sweating you’re doing under the lights, that one of the clasps keeping the fabric in place came undone. You quickly tuck the clasp back together and look up to shoot Eren a smile. 

“Thanks. You just saved me from flashing everyone on the carpet.” 

“That doesn’t sound too horrible, doll.” 

You and Eren turn around to find Sukuna and Nobara standing at your side, the two of them wrapping their arms around you and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. Eren immediately yanks Sukuna off, his arm stiff around Sukuna’s shoulder. 

“You never get less annoying, do you?” Eren asks. 

“Not really, no.” 

“You look really pretty, Y/N. We’re really rooting for you, we want you to win.” Nobara says, her hands squeezing yours. 

“Don’t get your hopes up. These types of things are kind of a long shot, Kugi.” 

“We know. Doesn’t stop me from rooting for you though.” 

You smile, leaning to take a picture with her before the four of you walk off to the side, continuing your conversation. 

“Where are Yuu and Maki? I haven’t seen them since they started dating and stopped responding to my texts.” 

Sukuna and Nobara share an awkward look, leaning forward to whisper in your's and Eren’s ears.

“They broke up. Well, just wait. You know the mess they're in is going to find its way to the tabloids somehow.” 

You and Eren cringe as you share a look, thinking about Historia’s scandal from a few weeks ago. You can’t imagine how much worse it must be when it involves the two of them. The intimate details of their relationship being on display.

“You look pretty, doll. Way more confident and self-assured than you were when I met you. It suits you.” 

Eren slithers his hand around your waist, the grip firm, as he responds to Sukuna. 

“She’s always been like that.” 

“Okay, Eren. Pipe down. I’m not about to be swapping saliva with your girl anytime soon. Though you might want to get a move on that, everyone’s going to have their eyes on your girl by the end of the night.” Sukuna says, smirking at Eren. 

“You sound disgusting, Sukuna. Like a pervert.”  Nobara says, rolling her eyes at him. 

“That’s what happened with Yuuta and Maki. Everyone went all gaga for Yuuta after the movie dropped. And after she sings too, Eren’s going to fight to stay afloat over here.” 

“Ignore him, Eren. His neurons are decaying as we speak.” Nobara responds, giving Eren a smile. 

“I’m well aware,” Eren says, giving the two of them a smile as they walk away. 

As Sukuna walks away, Eren only tightens his grip on your waist, literally seething with anger as he turns to you. You can tell he’s burning, that he’s jealous or aggravated like he always is when Sukuna's around, and you put a hand on his shoulder. 

“I hate that guy. So much, Y/N.” 

“You know he just says that because you’re easy to piss off right?” 

“Are you really taking his side?” 

“I’m just saying. You give him a lot to work with when you react like that. You should try to be zen. Like a flower.” 

"I'm so zen right now." 

"There's a vein on your forehead that's pulsating from how hard you're clenching your jaw, Eren. You're more of a cactus than a pretty flower."

Eren rolls his eyes as he drags you into the auditorium, the two of you taking your seats at the front. 

-  

Five awards later - two of which you won - and you’re standing behind the stage ready to puke. You choked out your best acceptance speech when you won Breakout Actress, spilling tears as you spoke, and luckily enough the other award was one you and Eren won together. He carried most of your speech together, though Eren spent most of it raving about you. 

Reiner’s still on stage, doing his acceptance speech for Breakout Actor and you’re ready to annihilate yourself. When you came back out after winning your award, getting ready for the performance, you received the worst news possible. 

You have to play the piano while you sing. You have to play the piano while you sing because the pianist you’ve been practicing with has food poisoning. 

You lie down flat on the ground, the silver dress you just put on, feeling heavy against your skin, weighing you down. 

“Are you okay? Y/N, you’ll be fine, it's just a piano.” 

Marco brings his hands to the side of your face, lifting your head so he can rest it on his lap. You’re totally aware of the fact that Marco’s sitting on this disgusting floor with you, in his expensive ass outfit, because you’re having a meltdown. You make a mental note to thank him for it later. 

“Oh my fucking god, Y/N. Can you believe it? We’re literally breakout stars.”

You look up at Reiner, now having come off the stage with his shiny silver trophy in hand and a huge smile on his face. You give him a weak smile back, the pressure in your head only getting more intense when you realize it’s your turn. Reiner nearly cringes at the sight of you, which you ignore as you flutter your eyes shut. After the ad break, they’re going to roll out a shiny black piano you're expected to play. 

“Get Eren.” Marco says and Reiner gives a swift nod. Reiner leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, whispering good luck, before he runs off into the background. 

Not even thirty seconds later, you’re met with Eren, a third person now sitting on the dirty floor with you with the softest expression on his face. He’s taken both of your hands, pressing your knuckles to his lips as he presses a kiss onto them both. 

“You okay?” 

“The pianist. Has food poisoning. I have to play the New Year’s Day piano, Eren.” 

“You have magic hands. You can do it.” he whispers.

You can feel Marco’s hands in your hair, fixing away the flyaways as you look up at him. Marco nods too and you can feel yourself feeling dizzy. 

“I can’t do it. I can’t sing for the first time and play the piano. I-I can’t do this.” 

"Y/N. Come on. You can do this." 

You can feel the tears burning in your eyes when you meet Eren's bottle green ones, washed over in concern. And you know that it's just a piano, that it's juat a crowd, and that it's a song that you've sang a million times. But the anxiety is as big as a balloon, ready to burst into something ugly the second you walk out there under the lights.

Eren frowns as he looks over at the piano, getting rolled out onto the stage, and the crew awkwardly looking at you splayed out on the ground. They're pointing at their watches, signaling that if you're going to perform, you're going to do it now. And Eren can't let you choke, not when it's this important. So he does the only thing he can think of. 

“I’ll play the piano." 

You sit up and put your hands on his shoulders, squeezing hard on the fabric of his suit. 

"Huh?" 

"I'll sit at the bench with you. Play it for you so you can focus on singing." 

“Really, Eren?” you whisper. 

“Can’t do anything without me, can you?”

You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek, his face immediately turning pink at the sensation. He holds his hand out and helps you up, his hands leaning forward to fix the folds of your dress. You both stand on the side of the curtains and you’re nearly positive you’re cutting off circulation to both Marco and Eren’s hands as you wait for your cue. 

When you and Eren walk out, taking your seats on the piano bench and adjusting the microphones, you stare at the crowd. There���s a light flashing on you and Eren that’s partially obstructing your vision. You’re staring out at them - two hundred faces you don’t know and half a million watching at home. 

Don’t choke. Don’t choke. Don’t choke. 

It’s only then that Eren stops playing the piano, his hand on his shoulder shaking you. And then you realize now that he had started. Meaning he had played the entire intro waiting for you to sing and you didn’t. That you blanked on stage. He places his hand on your chin, lightly guiding your face to look at his. 

“It's okay. Just you and me. Like we did on set okay?” 

You nod and Eren starts playing the piano again. And before you know it, you’ve choked out the last lyric, and Eren’s holding your hand as you both bow on the stage. You see people cheering, standing up out of their seats as you walk off and you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. When you get off into the curtains, they immediately start yank the microphones off of you two as you reach forward for Eren’s hand. 

“I-I blacked out. Was it bad?” 

“It was amazing. You’re amazing. You-you’re” 

Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer like he can’t get enough of you. 

When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other, foreheads pressed together. 

“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit murder.” 

“You want me so bad,” you say, sarcastically. 

“Obviously.” 

You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there are like seven people who just watched you suck face in public. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard. 

“I love you guys.” 

“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure out whatever is going on, without Connie and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.” 

“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch. 

“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.” 

You both laugh, smiling at Marco and then each other. Levi and Mikasa call you from the other side of backstage, gesturing for you to come over to watch the video of the performance. You give Marco and Eren a smile before you run off to where they’re standing. 

“Told you she liked you, Eren,” Marco says, elbowing him in the side. 

“I love her,” Eren responds, watching Mikasa and Levi crush you in a hug as you all hunch over the video of you and Eren performing. 

Marco smiles, giving Eren a pat on the back before he walks off to join you. Eren stays, trying to commit the memory to mind. You in a sparkly, silver dress looking at him like he's the sun. 

Eren Jaeger is in love with you. 

- 

Two afterparties later and you and Eren are in a disgusting tattoo parlor down the street. 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this, Eren.” 

Eren smiles as he presses a kiss to your cheek, the two of you leaning through the little prints in the binder. You’re getting matching tattoos. 

“I can be very persuasive.” 

“Uh-huh. More like hypnotic. I’m half convinced you have me under some spell right now.” 

“You pick what we do. Whatever you want, I’ll get it tattooed.” 

“We should do something special, Eren. Like something that has significance to us.” 

Eren smiles, lifting your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles again before he responds. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s do fish.” 

You smile, nodding at him. 

“Koi fish. Like from that show, the Last Airbender. One fish is the ocean and the other one is the moon” you say. 

“I call the ocean, Y/N.” 

“What? I wanted to be the ocean.” 

“No. That doesn’t fit.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because the moon pulls on the ocean. The waves in the ocean, objectively the best part, don’t exist without the moon. I’m the ocean. You’re my moon.” 

You smile, leaning forward to kiss Eren before you tell the artist the design you two want. And when the two of you walk out, matching sore arms from the ink, you can’t help but wonder how you ever got so lucky in the first place.

A few years down the line, you stare at Eren's blocked contact and think back to that moment. The two of you running down the streets, bathed in dim lamplight laughing into the night. Matching tattoos, a confession on the tips of your tongues like you're two soulmates destined to be together. 

You wonder where it got so fucked up between the two of you in the first place.

--

next part linked here

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pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[drunkoffsmoke]

Hey do you have any platonic Headcanons for Reiner,Mikasa,and Armin?

a/n: RAGHHH IM SO SORRY I DIDNT SEE THE REQUEST EARLIER!!!! I DIDNT GET A NOTIF— anyways brother elliot shall provide once more >:) (this is like season 1-2 so no spoilers).

pairing: Reiner x gn!reader ; Mikasa x gn!reader ; Armin x gn!reader.

fandom: AOT (Attack on Titan).

genre: Fluff, headcanons.

! WARNING ! : N/A. (it's sfw pookies)

─────────────────────────────

Reiner Braun.

Man is FLEXING his ass off when you're around.

Anything he thinks you might like? He's showing it off. Whether it be leadership skills (which he barely has) or muscles (okay he does have those), HE'S SHOWING OFF.

He likes to get your attention through random stuff such as constant poking or annoying you.

Since you're close to Reiner, he talks a lot about you to his friends Annie and Bertholdt.

Bertie likes you, although Annie keeps her distance. It's not that she doesn't like you, it's just that she's a loner and wants to keep it that way.

He probably follows you around during missions to make sure you're safe.

He's like a golden retriever off the field, but on the field, he's the most protective mf you can ever meet.

The second a titan reaches out to grab you, boom, he's slicing the titan's hand off.

If the mission proves to be easy with few dangers nearby, you and him have little contest like 'who kills more titans' and such.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he lets you win almost every time, blaming it on his gear for being this rusty.

You usually stay up past your curfew and watch the stars.

During this time you don't talk a lot, merely enjoying eachothers presence.

He's usually acting like an older brother, but sometimes you have to be the mature one and step in between fights he's about to start (somebody looked at you wrong).

Super supportive, literally the main cheerleader as you kick somebody's ass during training.

You and him have sparring sessions and he teaches you useful information about hand-to-hand combat!

He'd be a good teacher if he wouldn't be teasing you so much.

"Look at you, you're so fragile, you could never take me down!" were his last words before you kicked his ass.

He was shocked, he didn't expect you to ACTUALLY win the fight.

Nevertheless he's proud of you >:)

Mikasa Ackerman.

She firstly heard about you through Armin, telling her and Eren about how he made a new friend.

She was skeptical at first, thinking you were actually someone mean who just tried to get advantage of her blond friend.

But upon meeting you, she quickly changed her mind.

Mikasa is usually quiet and is always following Eren around, so the two of you don't really get some time alone.

But Armin told you she considers you a good friend of hers!

You're a feisty fellow, so she has to make sure you don't get in trouble aswell (as if she needed another Eren to take care of).

Being the mother friend of the group, she has to make sure nobody gets hurt, so she keeps you, Armin and Eren close when in missions.

Always on alert, she's ready to lash out at anyone who does you wrong.

One time a rookie spoke lowly of you behind your back. Mikasa found out, said she was going to take care of it, and you never saw that rookie again.

It's scary what she's willing to do to protect her loved ones, but it only makes you realize she is a good person deep down.

Honestly you're closer to Armin than her, but she doesn't mind that, since it gives her and Eren some alone time (nothing happens in this time, but she likes it when it's just her and Eren hanging around).

Not really good with praises, but will congratulate you after missions, saying you did a good job before walking away.

Armin Arlert.

If you're close to him, you're ultimately close to Eren and Mikasa too.

He likes to talk to you about facts he's learned from books and he's genuinely happy you listen to him (unlike a certain SOMEONE who has brown hair and teal eyes glares at Eren).

You had to rescue him a couple times from bullies. Because of that, you tried to teach him how to defend himself, although he believed this wasn't the right way.

He probably shows off every new item he found. It's mainly cool rocks or shards of glass bottles, but the way he's presenting them makes the trinkets look like some ancient relics.

He is a great listener and offers good advice where he can.

Most of the time he's shy so you have to speak up for him, he's really thankful you do that for him.

Armin's parents like you a lot, especially since you help out Armin so much. They tell you stuff about Armin which makes him embarrassed and blush.

You know the song 'To the Bone' about Undertale?

Well there's this one part saying "I am the Mastermind, he's my accomplice!"

Yeah that's Armin, and you're "You're still alive because I made a promise."

You guys are a great duo, fighting off titans together (although you end up eliminating most of them since Armin is a bit rusty on his skills, he's learning tho!) during missions and such.

He probably tells you all about the wonders of the ocean he's learned from his little book, it gets you as excited as him and it makes him feel as if he doesn't just let the information fall on deaf ears.

He thinks you're a strong, independent person and admires you for that.

He's the orange cat friend and you're the doberman friend. You can't convince me otherwise.

[444ctrl]

Tattoo Me / Eren Jaeger (Yaeger) x Black fem! Reader

Tags: Mature themes, sex, squirting, head (f and m receiving), p in v sex, tattoo artist Eren, black reader, +18, possessive! Eren, Jealous! Eren, Clingy! Eren

Word count: 2.8k / not proofread

“I can’t do this anymore!” You stared at Reiner. “What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” “JUST THAT!” He let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry Y/n but I can’t fake this anymore. I don’t love you.” My face scrunched, “but this isn’t fake… it’s real.” He laughed, “you think THIS is real?!” He pointed at you then him. “No it’s never been real. Not for me anyway. I love Pieck.” I stared blankly at him. “What the fuck Reiner! How could you cheat on me?” You started to feel your eyes burn. “Don’t fucking cry. It doesn’t matter if you cry because I’m done. Don’t follow me or contact me. I'm going to pick my stuff up when you aren’t home.” On his way out he slammed our… my door. I felt the tears start to gush out of my eyes. You loved him and you know he loved me.

“Girl, you need to get it together!” Your friends wiped your tears away. “I’m trying, it's just we were together for 2 ½ years.” Kiana gave you a hug while Mari finished your makeup. “I’m done!” You looked at your friends and they squealed. “YES! You look good ash!” You turned to look at yourself in the mirror. You were so happy with your makeup and hair. You turned around and hugged your friends. “I love you guys so much!” “Aw it’s nothing anything for you boo.”

You and your friends were ready to go and you all looked perfect. “When we get to this club Y/n you have to talk to someone! You're gonna get some tonight!” Kiana clapped at Mari’s declaration. You laughed, “I will, I promise.”

The music in the club is blasting. Your mood automatically changes as soon as you walk in. All of you walk to the bar and get a drink. The first round was bought by a man and his friends. He was cute but he looked too old for you. “Y/n you see that guy over there he’s checking you out.” You turn your head and see a beautiful man with long brown hair and emerald eyes smiling at you. You look at your friends then hop out of your seat. “Well girls I gotta go.” One of your friends smacks your ass as you walk away and yells “you got it, girl”. He smirks and looks down at you. “Hey gorgeous.” You blush slightly, “Hey.”

You have had another drink by now and you two are talking and flirting. “I’m so glad your friends convinced you to come otherwise I wouldn’t have met you. You’re so beautiful it hurts me.” You laugh trying to cover up your nervousness. “You’re so cute, Eren.” “You are too darling.” You felt your clit pulse. “You want to go back to my place? It’s not that far from here?” You look up at him and nod. He puts his hand on your lower back and starts to walk to the exit. “EREN!” You both whip your heads around and look at this very short blond girl with an all gold dress and silver heels on. He mumbles under his breath. “what the fuck to you want Lana?” You look at him and then her. Omg… I’m some niggas side piece. TF. You try to get out of his grasp but he only clings onto you harder. He looks at you and makes sure to hold onto you tight. “WHY TF ARE YOU HERE WITH SOME BLACK BITCH! YOU’RE WHITE!!” Your jaw drops and you got free from Eren. He doesn’t even respond to her but runs after you. You run in the ladies room and text your friends to help you ASAP. Eren is banging on the bathroom door. “Y/n let’s talk! I swear it’s not what you think it is.” After sitting in the bathroom for 5 minutes Eren stops and Kiana speaks through the door. “It’s just me Y/n.” You open the door with tears running down your face. She gives you a hug and silently walks with you to the Uber where you meet Mari.

ONE WEEK LATER

You were out on a date with this man who said if you ever wanted to go out just hit him up. Well you did and now you two are downtown walking and finding things to do. “I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo.” He stopped and looked at you “bruh me too… ik of a tattoo shop one block away we should go.” You smiled at him, “Yea let’s do it.”

As you walk in, the smell of lavender and eucalyptus hits you and it smells good asf in here. “Hi, how can we help you today?” “We would like to get a tattoo.” She nodded, “Ok well if you fill out these forms we will get the space ready for y’all!” You both take the paperwork and fill it out.

You hand her back the forms and you two start to talk about what tattoos you want. You get called first and meet your tattoo artist. “Hi my name is Jean and I will be your tattoo artist today.” You talk for a little bit about how you don’t know what you want so he can do whatever he wants and wherever he wants. He asks you if he can put the angel number ‘444’ on your butt since it’s been popular in the shop and you say it’s fine. After he prepped you there was a knock on the door. He opened the door and stepped out. You heard whispering but couldn’t move to hear unless you wanted to get prepped again.

What’s happening outside the door:

“What is it, Eren? I’m about to tattoo a client.” “No tf you aren't, I am. You can take a break now.” Jean stares at Eren. “Why are you so pressed about tattooing my client?” “Jean it’s none of your business I just need to do it instead of you.” Jean laughed, “Eren I’ve known you since we were little. How do you know my client?” After a moment of silence Jean laughed even harder. “Oh is she that girl that you have talked about every night since last week. The one that gave you a hard on but left because that crazy bitch that used to stalk you was racist. well I’ll be damned. She’s fine asf so I get it but she’s still my client.” Eren punched Jean, “don’t look at her that way ever and it’s my shop and you work for me so I’ll do this one. I’ll even give you the commission I don’t want it.” He sighed, “Alright just letting you know she said she doesn’t care what she wants or where she wanted it so I prepped her for what’s been most-” Jean was interrupted by Y/n’s date. “I’m sorry to interrupt but is Y/n in here? Before Jean could answer Eren asked “Who are you?” The guy smiled, “I’m Y/n’s date.” Eren clenched his fist. Who tf does she think she is getting a date in less than a week when I’m still thinking about her. Jean finally answered, “yes she’s in there and he’s about to do her tattoo.” Eren nods, “I am.” “Ok thank you.” He smiles and walks to his room to get his tat. Before Jean could finish Eren walked into the room and closed the door.

Omg he’s finally back.

After 35 minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Hey darling, your tattoo is done.” You snapped your neck around and looked into the man’s eyes. “OMG! WHY ARE YOU HERE?! WHY ARE YOU TATTOOING ME??!?” He smirked, “this is my shop darling.” You felt like you were stuck in a nightmare. “Want to see your lovely new tat?” “Sure.” He tells you to stand up and look in the long mirror. You look at Eren first seeing him admire his work. Well it must be good. You look down and see in beautiful cursive.

E. Jaeger

Your jaw drops and for the first 5 seconds you couldn’t make a noise. But after that you absolutely screamed. “OMG! WHAT THE FUCK?!” You turn to him and all he is doing is smirking. “You think this is fucking funny!?!” “No, I think you look better now. Perfect even.” You pull down your skirt and pick up your bag. You try to walk out the door but he stops you. “Nah you aren’t leaving me again.” Your eyes start to burn and water. “No no no darling you’re too pretty to cry.” He cups your cheek and caresses it. “Y/n since last Friday I’ve thought about you everyday and night. Not just sex but your personality too.” You feel a tear drip down the side of your cheek. He kisses it away and starts to kiss you all over your face and down the side of your neck. He whispers in your neck, “Y/n leave that man.” You moan quietly and it makes Eren want you more. He needs you and he knows you need him. “I can’t…” that made him angry. He knows you can and you want to but you are too nice and perfect to leave someone no matter what. “You will… do it for me baby.” You accidentally touch his print. He can’t take it anymore. He needs you. Now. He lays you on the table and pulls your skirt up. You clenched your thighs together. “No darling, I need to see you.” You slowly spread your legs and he just stared at you. “Eren don’t stare at me too long. It’s embarrassing.” “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about if I’m just looking at my favorite piece of art.” He took off your panties and put them in his pocket. “Eren you can’t keep those.” You don’t need them darling. Whores don’t need panties.” You gasped and bucked your hips in the air. “See you’re a whore. But remember you’re my whore.” He pulled you closer to him. You pussy right in front of his face. You’re so beautiful. You’re perfect for him and no one else. His tongue goes straight to your clit. He's flicking his tongue brutally, not letting up on you. You feel yourself getting close. You moaned and tried to clench your legs to not feel so much. His hand holds your thighs all the way to your sides making you feel everything. He’s brutal, not let up at all your head shoots back and your back arches. “Fuck!” Your orgasm is so long and so hard you feel like you’re floating. “Eren stop, I can't take it anymore.” You feel a second orgasm coming but this one feels different. “FUCK! I’m gonna pee, Eren stop!” He keeps going and at the last second before you let everything go he bites down on your clit. You moan so loud and buck your hips up into his face. When he pulls back his face is all wet with his bright smile. “I didn’t know I could do that…” He goes back down one more time to lick up all of your juices from your pussy. You reach for his zipper but he steps back. “Not now baby. I think your date is done with his tattoo. Remember to show him your tattoo. I think it makes you look absolutely gorgeous.” He wrote his personal number and Instagram on a business card. “For when you want to go out for real next time.” He helps you stand up and sucks on your neck before walking you out to the lobby. He waves to you and your date before you both walk out.

THE NEXT DAY

You rang the doorbell to Eren’s apartment. He opened the door and let you in. “You look so beautiful, baby.” “You look good too, Eren.” He pulls out the chair for you and then makes your plate. I made spaghetti with garlic bread and pesto chicken. “That sounds so good!” He smiled at you knowing good and well he found your instagram after you first met and found out your favorite food.

After you both ate you watched a sexy romance movie. He was paying attention to the film when you creeped over to him and now have your hands on his zip. He grabbed your wrist before you could go any further. “Are you sure you want this?” You nod your head completely sure of your decision. You unzip his pants and pull them down. You palm his print and he groans. You rub him from the outside of his underwear. “Fuck Y/n don’t tease me.” You rub his tip from the top of his underwear. You are a little intimidated by his size. He’s bigger than your ex and he was pretty big himself. He bucks his hips into your hands. “Baby hurry up please.” You pull his underwear down and his dick stands up straight. You immediately lick his large vein on the side of his dick. You aren’t even sucking him yet and he feels like he’s about to cum. “Shit…” He pushes your throat down so far you gag. “There you go baby, that's what I want to see.” He guides you up and down his dick he’s trying his hardest to control himself. You pull all the way back, “Eren you don’t need to hold back I can take it.” He shifts his body to where he can fully thrust into your mouth. His first thrust is hard and it catches you off guard but the second one is worse. He caressing your cheek as he fucks your face like he hates you. “You’re taking me so well… My pretty girl loves my cock.” You nodded slightly. “Stick out your tongue for me.” You do as he says and you cums on your tongue. “Let me see my cum on your tongue.” You stick out your tongue and then you swallow. “That’s my good girl, you knew exactly what I wanted.”

You take off your clothes, sitting on his legs with a condom in your hand. He laughed, “is this all you came for? A good fuck?” You shake your head and try to put the condom on him. “That one’s a little small baby. Now you're underestimating my dick size, wow that really hurt my feelings.” He pulls out one from his pocket and puts it on. “Remember I’m an XL baby. You’ll need to know for next time.” Your stomach tumbled a little bit. He laid you on the coach on your back. He had his tip at your entrance playing with your clit. “Fuck me already.” He glared at you for a second then rammed his hips all the way into you. You gasped at the feeling of him inside you. The look on your face almost made him cum right then and there. He pulled back and thrusted into you so hard and fast you felt like you were gonna squirt again. “It’s t-too much Eren.” You put your hands on his abs to try and stop him. He grabbed both of your hands in one of his and held them above your head. “Nah you wanted this. You wanted my dick so that’s what you are getting. Fucking slut can’t even take what she wanted.” You squeezed down on him. “You can’t cum until I say.” Your body did everything it could to slow him down but he couldn’t be stopped. “FUCK! Omg Eren you fuck me so good.” He smirks, “who’s fucking you rn?” “You!” Your face scrunched up, “say my name.” “Eren!” He grunted aggressively, “Louder.” “EREN!” “Fuck I’m gonna cum. Cum with me Y/n.” He used his other hand to rub your clit and overstimulate you. You both came at the same time and moaned in each other's mouths.

You were limp on his couch. He walked to his kitchen to get you some water. He sat down and moved you on top of him. He gave you some water and you happily drank it. “Y/n look.” You looked at him and he showed you his new tattoo.

[Your first initial.] Jaeger

Eren: I literally love this girl even though I haven’t known her that long. I need to marry her rn.

Y/n: This man 🫣. YALL I NEED HIM SO BAD. Love of my life frfr.

I know that happened fast but Eren is clingy asf. Mans wants to marry her ASAP now! Anyways thank you for reading.

[naeisscore]

The one that got away....

"Never planned that one day, I'd be losing you" [Reiner Braun x reader]

Content warnings: angst, hurt no comfort, modern au, high school sweethearts, songfics, war, death, strangers to lovers, lovers to strangers, regret

Inspired by Katy Perry's The One That Got Away

Word count: 10.9k

A/n: not proofread, posted this on 2019 Tumblr and wattpad (using a different pseudonym) and I decided to repost it again

♡ ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡ ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ⭒⠀♡

Summer after high school when we first met

It was one, sunny afternoon when you and your friends passed by your usual hang-out place. You just finished taking the final exams with Mikasa and Annie, and it drained the hell out of you. Being worn out from taking a difficult exam did take a toll on you when it comes to your mental health and well-being. For weeks, you stayed up all night to prepare for the examination and there were countless sleepless nights, meals that were skipped, and of course, a lot of procrastination and spacing out in your dorm room.

Life sucks and is unfair at the same time. Those two girls are gifted, and like, it's natural for them to be genius and extraordinary. While you, you're so, plain, normal. You need to work hard to keep up with them.

Whenever there's a group study, you notice that they never read too much. They read it one time, and that's it. They immediately learned the lesson and retained the information.

You, on the other hand, are pretty much of an average type of student.

As usual, you dropped your overrated type of cliche-college tote bag on the picnic table as you sat next to Annie. You sighed out of exhaustion, your head still hurt due to lack of sleep, and you felt your eyes sting a little.

"I'm going to order on the nearby coffee truck. You guys want something?" Mikasa asked.

"the usual, please." You said, taking a deep breath.

As Mikasa lines up to the nearby food truck, you stare into space out of the blue, imagining that you're rather in another dimension, in another life, where you're chasing the degree that you always like. Wondering what life would be like for you if you took arts and design instead of marketing.

Your world turned upside down on that specific sunny afternoon when Mikasa's boyfriend, Eren, showed up unannounced at the picnic table with several familiar people, but not familiar enough to be acquainted with. He had brought his football teammates right after they won a football match against the opposing university.

You've recognized some of them, which you usually see passing by the hallway, some were unfamiliar, while others were your childhood classmates from elementary school or middle school, the same school you went to with Mikasa and Annie.

The only person who was able to catch your attention was the guy who recently passed by, the guy who has an intimidating brusque statue with dirty blonde locks that match his chiseled features and that striking hazel eyes, those stupid brown eyes.

From the corner, you eyed the boisterous blonde, laughing with one of his friends, and a certain pair of brown eyes observed you from afar.

"Didn't expect our sweet y/n to check someone out, an airhead gorilla-like Reiner, really?!!" Sasha shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear. Your face reddened to the sudden announcement, embarrassed by it. Few of their teammates heard, you hoping your friends didn't, and Reiner himself.

But Eren did.

"What? I-I'm not even looking!" you deny her accusation, looking away from them, blushing from humiliation. You swear you will kill Sasha after this. And now, you're imagining the scenarios in your mind as you plot your revenge against her. Maybe give her with Cheese sandwich with mothballs in it or maybe steal her lunch box for a week, no, for a month, or prank her by replacing her food with food clays.

Her reaction would be hilarious, priceless indeed, and you should record it in 4k.

Unbeknownst to you, Eren was looking, from you to Reiner. A mischievous grin appeared on his face as if plotting something more embarrassing than what Sasha did.

He approached you suddenly, dragging you to a nearby table where their teammates sat.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" you asked, caught off-guard by his sudden action. You tried to pull away from his grasp, but he was too strong. You don't feel good about this at all, that humiliation from Sasha was enough for the day.

You knew Eren before, up until now. he had something planned on his sleeve based on his body language.

"What? I'm trying to introduce you to him!" He chuckled.

"The hell, Eren?! You're not gonna do that, gosh, this is so embarrassing---" Eren pushed you against Reiner, too much that you almost stumble from your balance, his broad back was facing you, but he glanced back once he felt you.

And Maybe due to his alertness and strong instinct, he had grabbed your arm on time, preventing you from falling to the ground.

"Oops.." Eren innocently scratches the back of his head as if he didn't do something intentionally. This brat doesn't fail to get on your nerves all the damn time either from his little prank or dirty tricks on his sleeves. If he wasn't only dating Mikasa, surely, you will beat the shit out of him one day.

"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry!!" You blushed madly, avoiding eye contact with him. you're embarrassed, plus, he was attractive as hell!

"Reiner, I'd like to introduce someone to you."You try to be as calm as possible, even making sure not to stutter a bit or tremble from a feeling of nervousness. but deep inside, you were screaming internally as Eren continued his introduction of you to one of his friends whom you've heard that he considered a brother figure.

"I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you." You tried your best to hide your anxiety from the man, who caught your eyes a while ago, making sure not to stutter in front of him.

"Reiner." He lent his hand to you, and nervously, you took it, shaking his warm hand against your small ones. Those hands were big and calloused due to him being an athlete. You noticed he was still holding your hand, delicately.

"Wanna go somewhere with me after this?" He asked.

"I would love that." You smiled.

At that moment, you realized that your hands fit perfectly as if it was made for each other. You didn't know that this little interaction would start something between the two of you.

We'd make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

"Do you know guys?! I saw Reiner and (y/n) making out in his Mustang last Friday night!"You almost choked on your soda drink as you sat in the bleachers with your friends, and you almost fell on your seat as you heard what Connie had just said. You were sure that everyone in the bleachers had heard what he said.

"Connie, you asshole!" You shouted, throwing his duffel bag at him in the field.

"whoa, (y/n), didn't know you have it in you!!" Sasha elbowed you, smirking as she teased you about your night rendezvous with Reiner.

"C'mere, you little shit. I'll smack that shaved head of yours." Reiner had chased him all the way to the football field as your friends burst with laughter, filling the whole field with waves of laughter and cheer as you all watched the meathead of a guy chase his unfortunate friend being head locked with muscles and biceps.

And on my 18th birthday, we got matching tattoos

"How about a Hello Kitty tattoo next time?"You revert your gaze from him to the new tattoo that you both got, freshly embedded in your skin, comparing the matching tattoo to his. It was a little tattoo of a pair of wings, which symbolizes the hope of freedom, you saw this symbol from Armin's history book which he kept telling you for years, that history book was passed down from generation to generation, and that astounding symbol was called the wings of freedom.

"Fuck no, I prefer Spongebob over kitty." You laughed at him as he messed up your hair. Hello Kitty was your favorite cartoon character when you were a child, so, imagining it on Reiner, and seeing it embedded in his brusque figure made you giggle a little bit. It will look adorable in cute to a giant of a man like him.

"Hey! That's so rude, she's my favorite!". You scowled at him.

Matching tattoos on your birthday was what you asked Reiner for your birthday, which he gladly accepted. It's a minimal detail of white and blue wings but it means a lot, yours was white, while he was blue. You had this thought that instead of both wings on the tattoo, you should split it instead, symbolizing that it will only be complete whenever you're together, like a missing piece of a puzzle, because that's what you both are, you're each other's missing piece, and Reiner knew that.

A match made in heaven, symbolizing that you'd have freedom whenever you're with him, that you two should never be apart, like a pair of wings, hope, and freedom.

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof

"What the hell, Reiner? We shouldn't drink, we're not 18 yet!" You glared at him as you followed him to the roof outside his window, crawling beside him.

"My parents aren't here. come on, y/n! It's just a zip, so stop being a killjoy."

Just a zip, but it ended as a hangover.

Talk about our future like we had a clue

"How many children do you want to have?" Reiner looked in your direction as you prepared the food that you put in the basket. He was lying in the grass, looking at you as if you were the only person that mattered to him. His gaze soften to the thought.

Weeks ago, you persuade Reiner to go celebrate your 2nd anniversary with him on a picnic date, an intimate, afternoon date to which he gladly agrees.

"I don't know, haven't thought of that yet, it's too early though, but as long as it's with you, I'm okay with how many. How about you?" You shrugged your shoulders at him, unaware of what future awaits in the future.

"How about 12?"

"W-WHAT?!

"Were you planning to have your football team?!"

"Kind of" yeah, with a little mix of you and him running around.

Never planned that one day I'd lose you

"I need to tell you something." You glanced back at him as he walked beside you on the sidewalk, walking you back home as the sun began to set. As the most protective guy and responsible boyfriend, it's appropriate to walk you home.

"What?" You asked.

"I'm joining the military."

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

"Are we going to argue over this, again?" You both just got home from a family dinner with his family. As soon as you went home, you both started to argue over things that were said during dinner. He started to pinch the bridge of his nose due to stress, and the heat of words that was exchanged that night. He never avoids his gaze on you, but now, it's different.

Reiner began to avoid his gaze on you.

" You shouldn't have said that in front of my family in the first place. what are you even thinking?" He was talking about your encounter at the family dinner with the Brauns, with his family.

"And what, you want me to lie? You shouldn't enlist in the military." You said simply as you both approached your front porch, Reiner followed behind you as you tried to open the front door. As you entered your shared home, he tried his best to avoid the conversation as much as possible.

Maybe this was some sort of coping mechanism for him since he was a child, by not talking things out, considering his lonely upbringing, growing up in a broken family.

His long-term coping mechanism was avoidance, by staying silent. Reiner was always like this, and what he did was walk straight out of your shared bedroom without even glancing at you, and yet, you still followed after him, hanging your coat first to the near rack in the living room.

"that's not your decision to make though." Reiner unbuttoned his pristine shirt, loosening his tie while looking at his massive figure in the mirror, not even looking at you.

His head hurts from your heated exchange of words, and Reiner deemed it unnecessary. He just wants to have a peaceful dinner with his family and girlfriend since he's preparing to leave for the military because he will be gone in the meantime. But you chose to ruin the evening for everyone.

"Now Gabi was upset about what you've said. You know she looked up to me the most, remember?" He spat back. You remembered that Gabi wanted to be a cadet like Reiner, and she always dreamed of bringing honor to the family, because it's tradition.

The dinner went into chaos when his mother brought up the topic to the dinner table about Reiner leaving for the military, how proud she is, and that his son is dedicated to the sake of their family's reputation, like bringing honor to their family type-of-bullshit. And what you did was to express your thoughts about it, that their contribution to a change doesn't change the fact that war will happen again because people were always the problem in the first place. And also, that killing people wasn't honorable, especially if there's a civilian involved, that it's not worth it, especially what your country was doing to the nearby nation, a genocide towards the opposing nation.

You damn know well this doesn't benefit Reiner at all. This was eating him alive, and Reiner didn't that life, a cycle that was doomed to repeat itself. It's not worth it for Reiner to risk his life like that, no, not your Reiner.

"Military has always been my dream." He added.

"Your dream? or your mother's?"

Reiner felt suffocated, not by the tie that he was wearing from the dinner, but by your piercing words

that were digging holes through his core, sucking the life out of him. Your words were just...cruel.

"You can fool yourself but you can't fool me, Reiner.

I know you always wanted to be a hero, but you're not the strongest man in the world, Reiner. There are other ways. There has to be another way. " You retorted.

"I don't want you to give your life for other people, I want you to live for yourself." You added.

You might sound cruel and downright way out of the line, but you don't have any choice but to say those words to him because he doesn't understand that it's just wrong, and it's the truth, and he's not seeing past that. You would rather tell him the truth than lose him completely.

"Look, you don't understand where I'm coming from, Reiner. You know that I care about you. I love you, okay?! And I will be honest with you."

You don't need to join the military to show your loyalty to our country. You don't need to prove something to anyone. You can show your loyalty by doing other things." You knew there was something in his sleeve that he wasn't telling you.

You know that there's something wrong the moment you utter your thoughts. You are too smart to notice his facade. You knew this. He had changed when your cousin died, and since then, Reiner wasn't the same anymore.

Marcel was dead, and you knew Reiner enough that he was blaming himself all his life. Marcel was your cousin, and since childhood, you heard from Porco how they got each other's back through ups and downs. They formed this brotherly bond together with Bertholdt and Porco. You've seen how they build their dreams, and how they treasure their friendships the most.

You also knew it was Marcel's dream to be a soldier, not Reiner's.

Sometimes, you've caught Reiner checking the news about business and stocks, even searching for the stock markets, and watching how to make 3D building structures on YouTube. You teased him several times about this, but he just shrugged it off. But deep down, you knew that Reiner wanted to be a businessman or an engineer, but the problem is, Reiner doesn't admit it even to himself.

He will fight his family and even his mother about his career path, that he doesn't want to be a soldier, that he doesn't want to bow down to the family tradition of a long line of generational soldiers.

But all his dreams and re-consideration to change his career went downhill when Marcel saved him while he crossed the streets. Your cousin saved him at the brink of death, and since then, Reiner has blamed himself that it should've been him dead, not him.

"It's my life, and I'm going to do what I want. Of all the people I know, I thought you were going to support me on this." He wanted to atone for what happened to his friend, even if it was not his fault, he was still owning up to the guilt.

"Yeah, but not like this!"

Everyone knew that it was an accident and no one was at fault for what happened. But Reiner was too traumatized to look past that. So, out of guilt and regret, he tried to be Marcel. Reiner easily adapts his big brother persona, his habits, and even his dreams.

There's a pregnant pause after you shout, but you say something out of the blue.

"It's not your fault."you're now standing behind him as you stare through at him in the mirror.

"What do you mean?" Reiner freezes from his spot, not wanting to hear those words from you, the truth. Those pitiful words, those it's-not-your-fault words because, he thinks he never deserves that, and he doesn't want your pity.

"It's not your fault." You repeated your words for him to hear. You knew he had heard you right, loud and clear. But he chooses to not hear it any longer. What you said was not a word of pity, but a word for him as a sign of comfort, that you'll always be there for him, that you understand, but still, he doesn't see it. He was somehow surprised by your bold words, unexpected of you to reveal what has been distracting him all those years, it's like you can see through his mind, and he hated that.

he can't believe that you knew, all along.

"It's about Marcel, right? It was an accident, Reiner."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to steer away from the topic but you're still persistent towards the sensitive topic. You're crossing a very dangerous line, a line that he drew years ago. He will avoid the conversation by walking away from your shared room so that you'd never be able to cross that red line and go to that point.

If only he could walk from the other side of the earth so that you'd never bring up this topic once again.

but you followed him, again. You always fucking follow him. Why would you always follow him?

"I know it, Reiner, from the moment you changed.

You know you can talk to me, right? We're soulmates." You know it's not good to force people to talk about their depression and anxiety, but you still did, your desperation for him to choose a different path was much greater, because, it's your Reiner, the most dedicated man you've known for years.

You knew that it would eat him alive not talking about it, and that guilt was taking a toll on his mental health. You're afraid that he might attempt to take his own life one day if things go wrong, especially if he fully succumbs to depression.

"Reiner, their parents, my aunt and uncle served the military, if you joined, they will make you suffer throughout the training, they won't hesitate to send you to a deadly mission. That's just suicide!" You're well aware of their wrath towards Marcel's death, you know it's not Reiner's fault, it was never his fault. It was an accident, but somehow, part of his parents blamed Reiner for their son's death because they lost their firstborn, their heir.

"I don't care," Reiner said. 'I deserved it'. He wanted to add. But doesn't have the guts to say it.

"If Marcel was here, he wouldn't be happy seeing what you're doing."

"Do you even know what you're saying?" He glanced back at you, his cold eyes pierced through you, and his voice was now laced with anger due to your blunt statement.

"You know what I'm talking about, and I'm saying this because I will never give you up to humanity." You snapped as you chased him down.

"You need to save yourself, Reiner, this isn't you!"

"That's it." You knew you were at the limit of his patience. You had crossed the line. Those lines of patience that was hanging like a thread.

Reiner was the most patient guy you've ever met, even Eren cannot be on par when it comes to his patience. Hell, that guy has anger issues. Whenever you took hours to choose clothes and shoes at the store, he would patiently wait for you to finish trying different clothes, and whenever you're mad at him, even if it's your fault, he would lower his pride and apologize to you. But this time, it's different. This time it would be different.

"You don't tell me what to do, y/n. It's not like we're married or something."

"But we will, eventually, Reiner. Don't tell me you don't see that?" That future that you both built up during that picnic date was now, slipping away. He's slipping away.

'You still see your future with me, right?' You thought, eyes pleading to him to at least say something.

Reiner didn't say anything.

"You know, my father already abandoned my family when I was 3, and since then, it's been my duty." He convinced you, but it seems like he's more convincing himself.

"If you can't endure the possibility of me being dead someday since I'm a soldier, then you shouldn't date me in the first place." You were beyond shocked to hear those words from him, heartbroken from the hurtful words that he had thrown at you.

He has a point. Death will come one way or another, and you sound selfish in someone's point of view. But that isn't your point of view. You're trying to save the one you love from making the wrong decisions, and you want him to live for himself, not for others.

You're right, none of it matters in the end, and he can't see past that. Maybe he might, someday.

Right now, you can't find the right words to justify your point. You were out of words out of frustration and anxiousness. Your shame took over your form at the moment because you knew your choice of words wasn't right to pierce through him. He was too unstable to understand that.

You cannot pierce through him, your words were nothing new.

'I'm sorry." You said, looking at the ground out of

shame, unable to find the right words. He sat on the sofa, leaning his elbow to his knee as he held his head out of frustration.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way, but that was never my intention—"

"I don't know if this relationship is going to work."

in another life, I would be your girl

"What are you trying to say?" You asked tears started to pool in the corner of your eyes, you're trying as much as possible to fight the urge not to cry but failed miserably to no attempt.

"Are you trying to leave me? what about us? you promised!" You cried out. 

We'd keep all our promises

"I never thought that you would cross that line, you've gone too far, y/n. I never wanted to hear those words ever, especially from you."

"Fuck it."

"Yeah, you don't want me to die because you'll be alone? you sound so selfish right now, yeah, that's the right word." His words stung as if someone had stabbed you from the inside, and you couldn't pinpoint its location. Everything hurts. He was saying the most painful words to you, those words that you never expected coming from him.

"We need to break up."

You didn't understand how your words had an impact on him, that it'll become his final straw to uncleaved his childhood and lifelong trauma.

You had unscratched his temporary band-aids that he had attached for years, band-aids that didn't help that much as he grew up, you unleashed those painful memories that he tried to bury in the back of his mind. Those thoughts kept him awake in the middle of the night when he was alone. In one night, you ripped those all out, and you brought it all back.

Be us against the world

"I thought we were soulmates.."

"Yeah, we were."

In another life

He put on his leathered shoes again, wearing his coat that you hung on the racks a while ago. His retreating figure forever be etched in your mind.

I would make you stay

'"I won't bring it up ever again, please don't leave."

"Don't leave me."

So I don't have to say you were

"Reiner!"

The one that got away

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I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

You realized weeks ago that Johnny Cash didn't help you from getting your miserable and heartbroken ass out of the couch, considering it's you and your ex's ride-or-die song. Listening to it was making it worse. No ice cream chocolate cake, or even beach get-away can make you ease the pain.

You used to be the typical soft girl who's happy with the way things were, a girl who enjoys the company of books, likes taking a nap in the afternoon, and cooks different dishes whenever you have the time.

And now, you don't know how to return to your old self anymore, it's like she banished that instant, lost somewhere where no one else could reach her.

He took your heart one night, and he never gave it back. You felt scared and confused, and it hurt like hell especially that the one person you loved the most left you. It's like someone had abandoned you in a secluded place, and you freeze right on the spot where they left you.

You told yourself that if Reiner ever decided to come back that morning. You'll welcome him back with open arms and you're willing to work things out for him. This time, you will be kind with your words.

But he never did. He was gone. Right before you came back to the apartment, some of his belongings weren't in their usual place. He already packed his things and belongings and brought all of them along with him before you even arrived. That empty house was left with only your belongings, and also the furniture that you both bought in Ikea.

It doesn't help your case too that you received an email from the landlord that Reiner wouldn't rent the apartment in the next rent renewal. It's really over, you thought.

No messages, no texts, no mail. He had also blocked you.

since you cannot afford to rent on your own, you decide to move in with Annie.

Reiner also avoided you as much as he could. During every friend's gathering, he wouldn't be present if he knew you would be there too.

This was a hint that he's sending you and he's making it clear that he doesn't want to see you ever again.

Ever since he left, you have tried your best to adjust a little without Reiner being there. He was there right after high school where you met him. He was there when you were starting to build yourself from scratch. The typical high-school sweethearts. He always got your back, hearing your rants and frustration, he was there when your friends were busy and no one was there to accompany you. He was there as you laughed your ass out to his lame jokes, or even when watching his favorite Adam Sandler's comedy movies.

He was there when you're crying because you feel neglected by your parents. He was there when you felt you couldn't go on anymore, the stress had gotten into you because of schoolwork and homework. He was there to listen, he was your one-called away, your best friend. But then, he's gone.

What's the point of moving on if everything reminds you of him? He was almost everywhere.

Radiohead and Johnny Cash have been always your and his go-to playlists, during unexpected meet-ups, summer getaways, or night road trips. Those memories do not fade easily, and you don't think that they will ever will. What happened to your love story became a white noise, almost painful to endure the longer you heard it, and that "Johnny Cash" playlist was the only thing you could hear at this moment. To put it simply, Johnny Cash's playlist was one of your reminders of him and his memories, and you're not ready to let go of that.

Never one without the other, we made a pact

Wherever where he was, during his matches, lunchtime, birthdays, and holidays, you named it, everyone expected that you would be there too.

"You're my plus one, remember?" He said.

Because Braun belonged to you, and you belonged to him, you were inseparable the moment you met him, they convinced themself that no one can separate the both of you from being together, and Eren can attest to that.

But now, it's different.

Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on

"So, you still listened to that song, huh?" You snapped out of your thoughts as you heard Annie from behind. You almost forgot that she was there, since most of the time, you tend to space out a lot.

"No, I am not." You immediately hid your phone from her sight in your pocket, scrabbling the screen in your pocket to stop or skip the music. You looked away from her as you denied the obvious.

"your volumes are too loud, dumbass." She tapped her right ear, implying the earphones that you're wearing. At this point, you admit that fooling Annie was the most stupid attempt you've ever made to someone. Nice try, dumb ass.

"You are still in love with him." Annie had said that evening.

A few months had passed and still, you cannot move on from him, you can't get him out of your head.

You thought sometimes that it's almost impossible to get rid of his ghost. His influence on you intertwined to the point that none of the guys had that much of an impact on you.

You missed him, a lot. And you will gladly listen to Radiohead and Johnny Cash whenever you miss him, or whenever he popped up in your mind.

It's hard to move on from the person you love the most, especially if can't work things out due to miscommunication. But you need to accept the fact that it's over. He's gone, and will never come back.

You had nothing against him, he was a good guy, a reliable friend and senior to a bunch of freshmen, and a loving son to his mother. You wish him the best in life.

You know it will take you time before you heal from these wounds, but it's okay, you're going to be okay.

Annie was going to be a policewoman since it was her and her father's dream so, you're going to be alone most of the time from now on. Even Mikasa is going to get her Master's degree in her profession, so probably, you three would've parted ways.

There are things that you regret in the past, regret that keep you awake in the middle of the night. You only want what's best for him, but your words were bringing him down, like a reminder of his depression and trauma, and you're in no position to acknowledge his depression since he didn't bring it up first.

You regret pushing his patience like that, and right now, we're still wondering if things would be different if you never made that confrontation, regret that you should've chosen the right words, not the wrong ones.

But the thing you regret the most is that you weren't able to tell him how much he means to you, and how much you love him, that night.

If you could only meet your old self, you would probably strangle yourself, but what's done is done.

But at least, you can still listen to songs that remind you of the bad and good. at least, these songs will play for you an imaginary vision, the what-ifs, wherein, you two didn't drift apart.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Someone said to you that Reiner got his tattoo removed. that pair of blue wings.

"I saw Reiner last week." Your eyes caught Jean's the moment he mentioned his name. Your ears perked up with curiosity, perhaps, excitement? knowing that you'll know what he's been up to.

"That tattoo you both got since high school, he had removed it from a tattoo parlor." A painful sting stabbed your heart as Jean said those words one evening as you went to a bar after a stressful exam.

"Sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to bring him to our conversation. I just thought you should've known." He gulped the beer that he was holding, drifting down his deep thoughts about something, maybe, about someone. He's been pinning over a certain person for years.

Besides, Mikasa had friend-zoned him longed time ago.

"of course, he would, he's joining the military and that's not allowed." You answered. There's a sudden pang in your heart that seems to cultivate as you drink away your thoughts. You tried your best to make an excuse, but you cannot fool your friends with this. Reiner had removed it for some reason.

"And that's a stupid tattoo from high school. That doesn't mean anything tho." that means a lot.

"That doesn't sound convincing." Jean looked at you with genuine concern, he knew you were trying to comfort yourself. From your reaction, you still haven't moved on from him. It's obvious. You can fool yourself, but not your friends.

"It's okay, Horseface! Besides, it was my idea to have that tattoo and, we did break up as well so it's only normal to have him remove it since we're not together anymore." You said it was okay, but the pain still lingers there.

He was getting rid of the memories of you, while you, you're still stuck in the same place where he left you.

As for you, you're doing as much as you can to hold onto things that remind you of him.

He got rid of the tattoo,

And you still kept yours.

Saw you downtown singing the blues

It hurts more when the news about him doesn't reach you through rumors, it fucking hurts when you see it with your own eyes.

You had visited the City of Marley with Annie after you spent the day going to several coffee shops and bookstores, right after spending a good amount on clothes, you parted ways since she needed to come back to the headquarters. Besides, she's going to visit her father tomorrow so she needs to leave soon.

You waved at her as she waved back, watching her figure disappear from the distance.

Then, an unexpected happened at a very unexpected time as you walked down the busy streets of Marley.

After 5 years, you saw him again. fortunately, far enough for him to not see you from a distance. You noticed some changes about him, he grew taller, his build was more muscular and his fashion sense was more mature compared to high school, making him look more intimidating compared to the last time you saw him.

You've heard he had finished his military training, from being a cadet, he already earned his reputation in the military and was able to climb through the ranks. His hard work finally paid off instantly.

Suddenly, you saw him go out of the bar with another woman, a pretty one.

Fuck.

You don't think you've seen her somewhere nor know her from a certain place, but from the way she looks, she's not from your hometown. So you concluded that maybe she's not from here.

She's far prettier too, more confident, and looks like the cool type. You bet she wasn't as toxic as you are. You're nothing compared to her.

This is it.

You haven't seen him that peaceful back then.

This is the part where you'll need to close one of your chapters.

He moved on, and he's happy.

And that's all you cared about. His happiness.

Even if you're no longer part of it.

It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

"Will you love another woman even if I'm gone?"

"I don't think I ever will."

You're no longer her June, his muse. He's no Johnny Cash anymore, so it's time to end this hope in your heart that someday, time may bring you both back together.

It's not going to happen, it will never happen, he's already with someone now.

You're just part of his broken, and miserable past. A girl who brought up his mental illness and existential crisis when things don't go your way. Of course, he wouldn't settle for something like that.

You're part of the problem, a girl who brought back his trauma, a past that he erased years ago.

The way he held her waist brought you on the verge of tears like someone had stabbed you straight up to the heart. Your heart crumbles from staring at them, there's some longing on your part, well, maybe, you shouldn't have looked.

The fire inside your heart was now flickering, slowly dying out from what you were seeing.

You're delusional for expecting him to come back. And it's not his fault that you refused to move on.

Pathetic. How life can be cruel like this?

You never felt stupid until then, stupid for loving the same person for years.

It's time to close this chapter in your life.

It's time to move on.

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"Dr. Yeager!" You're not surprised to see Mr. Yeager in the hospital setting, he was Eren's father, and you had known him since your childhood.

"I'm glad to see you, y/n, but not here." He said. You smiled at him, a reassuring one that it's going to be okay.

"so, how have you been?" you passed out earlier on the street as you were walking outside to attend your campus. Good thing Mikasa was able to catch you on time, preventing damage to your head. As you were brought to the infirmary, the head nurse in the university suggested that you need to be brought to a hospital as soon as possible to run some tests on you.

'I'm good, but my eyes are kind of hazy. I felt weak too. I'm kind of thirsty too." You can see that he's not happy seeing you here, in this setting, in his workplace. You as his patient and him, as your doctor.

"So how's my diagnosis? Am I going to die?" You joked.

"No." He shook his head as he looked at you, his glass was a gleaming reflection of the light above the room.

Not yet.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, y/n, but based on your test, you have acute kidney failure."

"You only got a few years to live."

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"Hi."

You froze dead in your spot, as you saw a familiar figure walking towards you in slow motion, like in the movies. But this wasn't a fairytale, nor an iconic romantic movie. This is reality.

Of all the faces you've encountered throughout your life, the unfamiliar and familiar ones, this wasn't the one you expected to see the most, especially right now.

To be honest, he was the least, and the last person you expect to see here out of this place, a freaking public park in the middle of a big city.

It's like everything that happened for the past years is coming back again, all the good, and the bad memories.

The last interaction with the man you loved was forever engraved in your mind, the same man who walked away from your life on that one fateful night.

He's standing in front of you from a good distance, not too close, but enough for you to hear him.

"What?" your mouth slightly agape as you looked at him in shock, to the point that you didn't notice that he was getting nearer as time went by.

You're not even friends with him since then, hell, he cut you off since that night, he doesn't want to see you and doesn't want to do anything with you. He wants to stay as far away from you, and he made that clear years ago. It's been 5 years since then, and he never reaches out to make amendments. So why now?

No matter how Annie and Bertholdt tried to reconcile the both of you, even if not as lovers, but at least just as friends, he never did. It won't work no matter what effort your friends gave, and there's nothing left for you to amend. that message was clear.

You wanted to avoid this situation more than those useless emergency meetings with your boss, but you damn well can't now. He's here, in his full Braun glory.

You snapped out of your thoughts and strode away, walking past him. You looked anywhere, anything except his hazel eyes.

Suddenly, it's suffocating, and you're more determined to leave the public place as soon as possible.

You don't care if you'll turn out rude for ignoring him. You don't care at all. It doesn't even matter.

Your motto is, 'If he was here, then there's no reason for you to be here either.' and you keep repeating that over your head for several years now.

"Wait." He followed you, chasing you as you moved to walk away from him. His steps were bigger and you knew he would catch up to you if you didn't speed up. God, that stupid long legs of his.

You felt nauseous, you wanted to puke, but none ever came out of your mouth.

"Y/N, wait—" he pleads.

"If you just—" In a split second, he caught up to you, holding your wrist firmly, not too tight, and pulled you against him which forced you to turn around.

"You look pale. You okay?" His eyes softened as he stared at your face, looking at you with concern. The same face that he had only seen in pictures for years which was probably outdated. The face that was living rent free in his mind, 24/7. That face that he hadn't seen in years.

"thank you for the compliment." You said sarcastically.

"Sorry. That sounds rude." He scratches the back of his head, not intending to offend you or whatsoever.

"I shouldn't be here, I'm leaving." You'd rather leave than have him see you again, especially like this.

"Please.. It's been a while since I last saw you. Can't we talk?" He asked.

"I just passed by, then I saw you. Just wanted to know how have you been?" A lie, it's not usual to see a soldier in this area, specifically him, a high-ranking official. unbeknownst to your knowledge, he went to this exact place just to see you. He wanted to talk, alright?

"I'm okay."

"From what happened in the past, I.... I apologize. Please, let me explain" He said.

"You never gave me chance to explain, so why should I let you?" You spat out.

He only realized how bad his situation was when it was too late.

You're right all along and he was stupid enough not to realize what was happening right before his eyes.

That incident in Paradis City, where he learned the corruption inside the capital, how they kept people as prisoners on their land. The military he was in, and the government he served kept a concentration zone for Eldian families, whom they considered as immigrants in their land.

You see, the Marley government succeeded in invading a small portion of Paradis Country. For those who were caught, the government released a mandate that separated family members who don't have Eldian blood from their Eldian families, like the one he witnessed in the camp when a Japanese mother was separated by force from her children and Eldian husband, and vice versa.

A month ago, he and his team were ordered to kill hundreds of people in the internment zone, soldiers like him were sent because there were several riots inside the camp, to the point it set the whole building on fire. They thought it was some act of terrorism. He was so ignorant not to notice that those people fought for their lives, he should have known that it wasn't terrorism from those people, they were fighting back only to defend their loved ones since the government sent an order to kill Eldians in the internment zone one by one. Those people were innocent and only discriminated against because of their bloodline and religion.

This week, Reiner also suspected that Mr. and Mrs. Galliard intentionally took Gabi as a recruit. Because no cadet in training would be accepted that easily in a year and sent to a mission. He speculated that they did this to get revenge on him.

That day, a realization hit him hard, as if he woke up from a deep and long dream, nightmares full of terror and death of his comrades, and full of nightmares without you.

Every night, Reiner has nightmares about the innocent people he killed, crying and pleading with him for their lives. But he can't defy a military order, especially from the higher-ups. He signed up for this, and he would pay the price afterward. Since those incidents, he always woke up in the middle of the night, panting and crying for no apparent reason, traumatized by everything that happened for the past few years.

'She was right, all along, she was telling the truth. Because, to put it simply, she cares.' He thought. He understands now how heavy this profession is, and you knew all about this because you belonged to a military family from generation to generation. You knew how it might take away everything from him. Your words haunt him, every night.

"No, what I mean is. Why are you approaching me? It's not normal." He was taken aback by your statement.

It's not normal to talk to your ex like nothing happened, especially if that said ex never wants to see you ever again.

"Not if it's you." You can't read what was in those eyes, his motive was still unclear to you.

10 years had passed since you two broke apart, and it's been 7 years since you last saw him. You could say that the both of you changed a lot, while you, of course, become thinner than usual, paler, and weaker as time passed by. He wonders why.

But at least, you got your degree right after college and now working as a writer for a well-known publishing company, not the marketing one that your parents urge you to.

While Reiner, throughout the years of battle and war, you've heard from your colleagues that he's a Vice Commander in the military, and of all the people, you know he deserved that spot the most.

"So, I've heard you are not feeling well. how have you been?" How did he know that you were sick? You thought. Maybe he heard it from their mutual friends from your hometown since you went home a lot more than usual for the past 10 years.

Unbeknown to your knowledge, that one afternoon in the barracks, Reiner had heard a conversation from a distance when one of their mutual comrades, Hitch, asked Annie Leonhardt through the phone, and on a freaking loudspeaker, why does she spaced out a lot these past few days and Annie answered that it's about your well-being. Annie had mentioned that you were rushed to the hospital the other day, Mikasa had informed her through calls because she's the one who brought you to the infirmary.

Annie also talked about how she applied for a 1-week leave since she's planning to visit you at the hospital. That's how important you are to Annie and Mikasa, they treated you as their sister.

'I already told you just now that I'm fine. Are you deaf or something?'

"I should be the one to ask you the same thing, how's life been treating you?" You reverted the topic about you and changed it. But Reiner doesn't fail to notice your body language and the typical-aversion-of-gaze that you're indeed, lying. You're far from okay.

"Things have been okay to me." He answered simply. Looking at the ground, ashamed to tell you the truth that it's been a living hell for him for the past 10 years, how his mission damaged his morals as a human, and how he became a murderer for killing hundreds, no, thousands of innocent people.

His oath was to defend the country and serve its people, but he realized that he was doing the opposite.

He was never a hero, and he will never be.

He was a monster sent by the Marleyan Government for genocide, like a programmed robot whose only purpose is to destroy all kinds of life. He hated himself and was ashamed of how monster he had become.

there's a dead silence that seems to surround the both of you. That eerie sound of desperation to have a normal conversation. As you sat in the park, you watched the kids play on the swings, how carefree they were like no amount of responsibilities was holding them down.

You both wished you could be a kid again.

Reiner wanted to ask what are you up to, and how was your family. Are you somewhat happy with how things are? But who was he to initiate a conversation? He's the one who ended it all.

You both are strangers to each other, but with history. He was long gone in your life, not even considering giving you a chance to explain yourself that night.

On the other hand, you're busy wondering where was the guy you've been scheduled to meet today. What's taking him so long? He should be here by now. You will kill him if he didn't save your ass here. You thought.

"I see. you still have that." He chuckled, seeing the wings tattoo on your wrist after all these years. You looked at him, then at your wrist.

"Of course, it's my first tattoo." You rolled your eyes at him, and immediately hid your wrist away from his curious eyes, grasping it away with your other hand.

Ah, he was talking about the tattoo you got on your 18th birthday.

Why did you still have that?

That's the question that you keep asking yourself.

"This doesn't mean other things." You tried to explain yourself.

He had removed his matching tattoo years ago, so what made his heart flutter now knowing that you keep yours all these years?

a single brand of ink but still brought back painful memories.

The ink seemed to fade for years but the memories didn't.

"(y/n)! I brought you some food." A guy shouted from a distance, waving his hands. Reiner noticed how your attention switched from him, then to the guy behind him. Seeing how your mood changed just from the mere presence of another person. You smiled at the guy behind him, forcing Reiner to glance back to see who the guy was.

Your smile was your greatest asset, the one that he loves the most, and you rarely do it now. But he's seeing it again.

The guy lifts his hands cheerfully from a distance, holding the paper bag full of food. This guy never failed to make you smile, he was a cheerful and honest guy, a great company, which sometimes, wants you to smack him in the head for being straight to the point, even if no one asked about things, he would say it right away.

You respected his dedication to his job, driven by his dreams and passion. His idealistic persona and calm demeanor outshine other people, his smiling face and urge to understand every situation made you choose him from the rest.

He makes a beeline step towards you, approaching you with a smile, his eyes study your composure, how uncomfortable you were due to the presence of someone you least expected.

When Reiner glanced back, the guy noticed who was causing your anxious demeanor.

"Hey, Reiner. Didn't expect you would be here." The guy said, smiling at the blonde muscular man who was sitting across from your seat. He laid down the paper bags and beverages on the table, sitting beside you.

"Marco." Reiner acknowledges. So, Marco Bott, a respected guy with a calm demeanor on the Rugby team, a guy with an excellent judge of character, was one of the juniors they interacted with during their senior years. He was one of the guys he trained for the rugby team, alongside, Connie Springer.

"I didn't think you two were dating." He had assumed, because from the look of it. You're comfortable being around him, even giving him a small smile despite your discomfort.

Is Reiner too late to pick things up from what he had left? where have words been left unsaid since that fateful night?

"ah, no, are you out of your mind? I'm just here to accompany her since Annie and Mikasa couldn't make it. Plus, I'm her assistant." He raised his professional nametag proudly, showing how he managed to earn his job and reputation as your successor in the industry.

"ah, sorry." He chuckled, relief that you're not seeing someone.

There was a lingering pang in his chest a moment ago, and he froze on his spot. Reiner thought he couldn't breathe for a second.

Marco had invited him to eat lunch with him and y/n since he brought food. Reiner had this urge to buy something, so he went to a nearby coffee shop and beverages shop to buy some Iced Coffee and Iced Tea from Starbucks from a nearby store, on his way back to the park, he saw a vending machine of sodas, took a Coca-Cola drink, and bottles of water.

He remembered how you used to buy a bottle of soda, like a lot whenever you both went to the grocery stores back then.

One time you got sick, and that same day, you had asked him to get you a soda drink, a Coca-Cola, and pizza as he made his way home from a guy's night out. This led you to call him names such as being a grade-A asshole because the moment he came back, he bought you juice instead of soda because last time he remembered when you drank soda while you're sick, your symptoms worsen.

He chuckled at the memory of you while walking down the streets.

When he returned, he placed the drinks on the table. Reiner handed you a soda, your favorite one.

"She can't drink that. It's bad for her health." Marco said when he saw Reiner handing the Cola drink in his hand to you.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

"what do you mean?" Reiner asked. It was your favorite drink throughout the years since high school up until you guys moved together. So why would it be bad for your health?

There's no way you couldn't drink that, you wouldn't dare to resist a soda since it's your favorite drink. Unless...

'Marco." You warned.

Can't replace you with a million rings,

"She's been diagnosed with chronic kidney disease," Marco added. This is the thing you hated about Marco, he was bringing up personal matters in the conversation. He could've said something else.

I should've told you what you meant to me

Reiner can't believe what he's hearing. Everything came crashing down to him, he froze from his spot, unable to find the right words to say. He's feeling...numb, angry, and... scared.

Scared for your life.

"how's her treatment so far?" He had bombarded Marco with questions because he'd answer all of them instead of you. The guy is honest, while, you're the type of person to be annoyed when people meddle with your matters, especially with your warning to Marco a while ago.

"It's none of your business, this is a personal matter." You added.

"Aside from that. There's no point." I'm already at my last stage.

'Cause now I pay the price

From what he experienced all these years, from the bombs that killed the enemy soldiers from foreign countries to the explosions that destroyed millions of worth of infrastructure and properties, he was never afraid of those, except for this moment, he had never felt this scared before.

Reiner likes to think that he's one of the strongest men alive, with no fear and conscience for all the things he did. That was no freaking way he could feel fear, even in front of his enemies on the battlefield. But he never felt fear like this before, the thought of you dying, that he'll outlive you, that hearing one day from your mutual friends that you passed away, gone from his life forever. He can't picture a life without you in this world.

He's a man in the frontline, he's the one who should be at risk for being dead.

Not you, god, not you.

He now knows what fear is, and that's the fear of losing you.

Reiner can't imagine a world without you, a lifetime without you. 

He began to contemplate what he said in the past, that he never wanted to see your face ever again. Reiner didn't mean it, but it seems the gods were cruel enough to make those words paint back to life.

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

"why didn't you go with the treatment?" He chased after you, not wanting to hear him pestering you. It's funny how the table turned, back then you chased him a lot to confront him, but now he's doing the same damn thing.

The pavements of the side streets seem to carve your heavy footsteps as you watch him stop in his tracks. A while ago, you walked out, and he asked to walk with you, and of course, you declined.

What's that for? Ex doesn't do that.

Even with your refusal, he decided to follow you like a lost dog.

"What?" You deadpanned, looking at his towering figure.

"That's not for you to decide." You returned his words that night and he never failed to notice, even the small details.

"It is!! We were schoolmates, and... friends!! We had a lot of history together so of course I care about you!" He said in frustration.

"Former." You added.

"What the hell do you want from me, Reiner? You made it clear to stay as far away from you, and I did."

"You know I didn't mean it. All of it." Reiner held your wrist, not letting it go as he held it firmly in his grasp. His hazel eyes looked at yours back.

" but you still said it." You said.

"I'm sorry for everything that I've said to you, y/n. I'm sorry for walking away from you, I know what I did was unforgivable, just please, let me make it up to you."

"I don't need that. It's all in the past now."

"And what's the point of that freaking treatment? It doesn't change anything."

"What do you mean? Of course, there would be!" He convinced you, but he's more convincing himself from his tone.

"You think I'd refuse this easily to save my own life? You don't know how desperate I was before to just give it up now!"

"That's not what I mean—" Reiner reasoned out.

"You don't have the right to say that there would be, what happened to me for the past 10 years, No, you don't have a freaking idea what I'be been through before I refuse the treatments." You spat out.

"I'd lost my only parent who cares about me, my dad..." you added.

"Dad donated his kidney for me." You continued.

"After a year of that stupid kidney transplant, he got sick and died. Then what? My body had rejected what he gave to me."

"It's all for nothing... this doesn't make any sense."

"I'm tired from all of this." You revealed.

"Please, at least try.. there's still hope. I know there will be some changes if you just don't give up." Reiner pleaded.

" you don't get to tell me that, Reiner, you can't even help and save yourself!!" You shouted. You're trying to hold back your tears for so long, but it keeps coming out of your eyes.

"From who?" He asked.

"From you!!" You answered.

"I.... You're right." Reiner swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words to say. He was ashamed of how the years turned him into this kind of man, a shameless one, a hypocrite.

"You're right all along, it doesn't matter. All of it." He replied, Reiner said. He stared blankly at his hands, those hands that were tainted with shame, guilt, and everyone's blood.

"I became a monster, and..... our unit, I killed a lot of innocent people, including children. I'd never had a reputation and honor on this path to begin with. I should've listened to you. I should've chosen my dreams, I should've chosen us." Reiner cried out.

"I almost died once, from one of the missions, and the only thing that came to my mind at the moment was you. I'd never felt desperate to survive before, and till then, I realized how much time I wasted being far away from you. I shouldn't push you away."

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I'm so sorry that you lost your dad, and I wasn't there to comfort you, and I'm so sorry for everything that I've said to you that night. You don't deserve to live like this. You never deserve any of this!" he was blaming himself for everything, how he wished he could turn back time to spend time with you.

Time is a ticking bomb, and you're currently at the edge of it.

"You deserve to live a long life. Yours is different from mine, your life does matter. Just... go with the treatment, please...for me." Reiner held you, and you tried to get away from his grasp.

"You know life isn't fair." You answered.

"It isn't... but you deserve so much better," Reiner said.

"I wasted so much time on this, for us. I shouldn't pushed you away. If I wasn't an asshole back then, these times that have been wasted all these years should've been spent for us being together." Reiner said.

"What made you think that I still want that? What the hell, Reiner? You can't come back in here like everything's normal. What do you want?" You asked, frustration laced in your voice.

"I had this sudden urge to see you, okay?! That's.....why, y/n! I woke up from the bed and realized you weren't there, it's empty. Like, I woke up from this deep slumber and you weren't there..." He's like a man snapping back from a long-term amnesia, more like, a man waking up from a 10-year comatose.

Reiner wanted to apologize to you, to say sorry, for leaving you, for walking away from your life, that night. But he can't find the right words to say.

"Of all the times and places, why now? Why not then?" He made it clear that he doesn't want to see your face ever again, and that was enough for you to not fight for him anymore.

Because you're used to him being gone in your life for a long time.

It started with you staring at him from afar, away from his sight, until one day, you just...stopped. You continued to keep a distance from him Until it became your routine to avoid him in every gathering, and get-together.

"I heard from a conversation that you were rushed in the hospital, and...and I can feel it that there's something wrong," Reiner says, voice low as you urge him to speak his thoughts more.

"that doesn't concern you, we're not even friends, we're strangers!! Don't come crawling back at me when you feel empty inside." You became someone he used to know, and as long as he's gone too, it's as if, part of you were gone too, lost in the abyss.

"Yeah, you're right, i felt empty for years because you're gone!!" He snapped back in frustration.

"And I still love you!!" He confessed.

"And I'm so sorry for pushing you away." His voice was more desperate for you to hear him, to understand him like you used to.

"I'm so sorry, okay," he said.

"I should be the one who's apologizing, you know?" You added. 

"I shouldn't bring up your mental health, especially if it's really hard for you to open up. I learned my lesson not to meddle with other's business and not to care... at all." You simply replied.

"But that's all in the past now, right?" You deadpanned, suddenly in control of the conversation, trying as much as possible to be strong enough to utter the words. But deep inside, you're trying your best to fight the tears in the corner of your eyes, threatening to run down your cheeks as the words start to slip away.

"This doesn't matter now, this, what you're doing, it doesn't make any sense!" You lashed out, trying to push him away as he pulled you in his strong arms.

He paused for a bit as if he was thinking of something that he wanted to say.

Reiner was building his courage to say the things he wanted to. He should've done this a long time ago, but he didn't. He was never brave, he was always a coward, and he would take accountability for the actions that he had done.

"I wanted to make things right, to make it up to you as much as possible." He looks into you, engraving the memory of you in his mind, your lips that used to kiss him at night, your eyes that drown him by just looking at it.

He switched his gaze from you to your soft hands, taking your hands in his, staring at how small your hands were compared to his big ones. He held it gently as if it would break if he didn't.

"I know you will push me away, but I'm still in love with you. and that's already enough reason for me to fight for you, for us. There are no days that you didn't come up in my mind."

"Just please, give me a chance. please, give us a second chance." he pleaded.

The pain always lingers here too, creeping back on you during sleepless nights, forever instilled in you. You thought that as long as he's gone from your sight, you're fine.

But no, you were wrong, the pain keeps coming back no matter how much you bury it in the deepest pit of your mind.

'Please say yes, please, just fucking say yes.'

"I don't know, Reiner. I'm not really sure about that." You hesitated.

"Isn't it too late for that?"

[koiishyy]

The death of peace of mind (time is a thief)

ღ summary : Your keen sense for imminent threats and disaster's goes haywire during an otherwise once in a lifetime festival, and if you were given one more minute, then everything might have been different. pairing : porco galliard x braun! reader tags/content warnings : graphic depictions of violence, swearing, depictions of a panic attack and survivors guilt. pre-established relationship, hurt/comfort. a/n: this is the first reader fic i've uploaded to tumblr since i was fourteen, be gentle with my soul pls. enjoy!

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There’s a taste lingering on the tip of your tongue.

It’s sickeningly sweet and accompanied by an icy chill that sends goosebumps pricking across your biceps. Dribbling down the side of your hand, it trickles across your skin towards your sleeve. At this rate, it’ll stain the cream-colored uniform. With another lick, you quell the racing liquid.

Strawberries.

It tastes like well-ripened strawberries.

Ice cream isn’t a luxury you’re often afforded within the Liberio internment camp. It’s one of many foods that is solely attainable past the gates. A delicacy that the Marleyans decided to withhold from the spawns of devils. You can stain your hands with the blood of their enemies and do their dirty work, but they can’t even allow the simple, regular pleasure of ice cream.

Today is a different tale, however. Today is a celebration. The war against the Allied Forces took longer than predicted, but even with the countless setbacks, Marley’s victory reigns true.

All thanks to the race they despise so much, of course.

Now, there’s vendors packed, lining the streets of Liberio. Exotic foods and little knick-knacks sit front and present at every booth. It’s supposed to put the foreign guests at ease and make them feel happy that they signed a peace treaty with the country that proceeded to massacre them. There’s supposed to be a play about what you have no idea—at some point in the debrief you had tuned out Zeke’s voice.

The younger candidate’s run amok before you, weaving through the crowd with excitement gleaming in their eyes. Every sweet treat entices them, and every savory dish catches their wonder-filled eyes. Of course, your sister is among them; in fact, Gabi is the most vocal of them. Her brown eyes ogle fascinated over a monstrosity of a chocolate drizzled crepe, the desire to stuff her belly full of the unique pastries setting her up for stomach-aching punishment later.

She’s babbling to Reiner, whom, for once, you’re grateful for, over the treat. He’s been graciously paying for the food, even at your protests.

Over the years of your youth, you’ve butted heads more times than you’d like to admit with your cousin. His arrogance over being a half-blooded Marleyan being the biggest argument starter. Now, after he returned from Paradis, he’s different. Different in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. Whatever he went through with the island devils changed him. You don’t argue anymore, not like you used to.

Pieck has also been keeping up well with the candidates, trailing after them and engaging in conversation. You watch as money exchanges hands and Gabi receives her crepe. Pieck laughs as she practically inhales it after the first bite. You even manage to capture the faint crack of a smile from Reiner.

Udo and Zofia stand off to the side. Udo does most of the talking you notice. The kid has the innate ability to chatter on about any topic. Zofia listens, never once interrupting him or telling him to quiet down.

A little ways away, you spot the Grice brothers, who have ventured just a tad bit further than the group. Colt ruffles Falco’s hair, which earns him annoyed swats from Falco. You’re surprised that Falco isn’t glued to Gabi’s side.

Everyone’s having a fantastic time. Plenty of laughter is being had, and delicious food is being consumed and enjoyed. It’s good company. It’s a beautiful day. Most of the veteran warriors have even let their guards down.

Everyone is happy. So why can’t you be?

“Your ice cream’s melting.”

The words jolt you violently from your endless thoughts. Physically, your head recoils, jerking upwards in the direction of the familiar voice. In the midst of staring off into space, Porco has retreated to your side. He looks at you with a hint of concern and a wealth of curiosity written across his features.

Your eyes trail towards the half-eaten ice cream cone tucked in your grasp. It threatens to become a watery soup. The pink-tinted liquid trails in multiple lines down your hands, sticky and warm now.

“Shit,” You hiss softly, transferring the cone between your hands. You shake the hand covered in liquid, flinging droplets of ice cream against the ground. You’re not even sure why you’re still holding onto it—your appetite has long gone. Porco sighs, pulling a brown napkin from his jacket pocket. He extends it in your direction and you gladly take it. “Thanks.”

“What’s on your mind?” He asks.

“What?” You blink, tossing the ice cream into a nearby garbage bin. Shaking your head, you wipe your hands clean. “Nothing.”

Porco gives you a knowing look—a look you despise. A frown tugs at your lips. He never misses the slightest change in your behavior. You hate it.

“You always finish your food.” Porco points out. “Lying to me is stupid; why don’t you just tell me?”

He’s right; you hate that he’s right. Lying to him is stupid, considering you’re more honest with Porco than anyone else. You’re being difficult for no reason.

Well, you do have a reason, just not a particularly good one.

“I just have a bad feeling.”

Porco’s eyebrows furrow. “About this and the play?” He inquires, and you nod in response. “The allied forces have already signed the treaty. The war is over. No one would be dumb enough to plan an attack in Liberio anyhow.”

“Treaties are broken all the time.” You remind him.

Enchanting hazel eyes trail over your face, and your heart skips a beat. “It’s your gut, isn’t it?” Porco asks.

Instinctively, your hand grazes against your abdomen, a nauseating feeling building in your stomach. “My gut’s never wrong.” You say. “You should know, it’s saved your ass more times than I can count.”

“Not every time.” Porco argues. “Also, I save my own ass and everyone else's—and yours too.”

You roll your eyes. “Name one time I’ve been wrong.”

Porco’s lips part, the resemblance of a word forming on them, only for no sound to come out. They bob open and closed, and you can almost visibly see the gears turning in his brain. He looks stumped. He struggles for a moment, too stubborn to accept the truth, before finally relenting to the glaring reality.

Your gut has never been wrong.

This keen sense for imminent disaster was one of the reasons you earned your warrior candidacy. Gabi calls it your sixth sense. You could sense a threat from a mile away. No one could ever pull a stealth attack on you because your gut was never - and has never been wrong.

Porco’s eyes comb the crowd before wrapping one of his large hands around your wrist. He gently tugs you to an abrupt stop, redirecting your course to a secluded portion of the street—in an alleyway between two nearby buildings. The group continues onward, temporarily oblivious to the loss of two of its members.

Porco turns to you, serious as ever. His intense gaze causes butterflies to awaken and flutter about in your stomach. “Say your gut’s right; do you think we’d need to be worried about it?” He asks, his hand falling from your wrist to your hand and curling his fingers around your own. “It’d have to be one hell of a sneak attack.”

An exhausted, tense sigh falls from your lips. “Of course it would, but you saw how badly Reiner’s armored titan was destroyed by the artillery.”

“That’s because Reiner’s useless.” He grumbles under his breath.

You scowl, continuing with your train of thought. “And Pieck’s equipment takes precious time to transport and set up—time we won’t have.”

Apprehension lingers in him, but you can tell he believes you—or at the very least in you. Your eyes flicker across his face, knowing that he trusts you and that this pointless questioning is only for his peace of mind. He knows you would never be this worked up over something if you didn’t believe it. He knows you. He knows you.

So, he relents.

“I’ll let Pieck know.” Porco says, his hand trailing up to your cheek. He cups the side of your face, sighing. You lean into his touch—his soft, gentle touch. It’s a side of Porco that only you see regularly. “No one will trust just a gut feeling—especially not from us. So stay alert, okay? Stay near me until this is over.”

Relief floods through you instantaneously, and you nod. “I’ve got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours.” Porco smirks. He gazes at you for a moment, his cheeks growing a pinkish hue to them. His usual cool confidence falters. Shyly, he murmurs, “You look pretty today; did I tell you that?”

“No, you didn’t.” You grin. “But I’m only pretty today, though?” You tease.

“What? Well, no, of course not.” Porco flusteredly stammers out. A giggle breaks through your lips. “You look pretty every day; just today you—ah, goddammit, nevermind—forget it.”

It’s rare that you get moments like these. Moments where you are not warriors or dirt-blooded Eldians. Moments where your lives are simple and you get to act like every normal couple.

Embarrassed by your teasing, Porco grumpily attempts to depart. Softly laughing, you tug him back to you. “C’mon, I’m kidding, Pock.” You say, pulling him in by his jacket. “Stay with me. Just for another minute, please?”

He can never resist those puppy-dog eyes of yours. Porco sighs and obliges. “One more minute.”

The two of you lock eyes, and the world dissolves around you. Porco leans down, pressing his lips to yours. One kiss, two kisses, three. His lips envelope yours, gentle but a little sloppily. His hand slides up the small of your back, keeping your body pressed into his.

It’s bliss. Loving Porco is a private affair; these moments that bear the threat of the public eye are few and far between. You cherish them, silently wishing to scream your love from the rooftops. A wish that will never come to fruition—not with your positions.

Coming up for air, you pull back. Still not wanting to break the bubble just yet, Porco leans to press his forehead against yours. The tip of your nose kisses his, and a small smile tugs at your lips. Your eyes lull shut once more, savoring every moment of this temporary peace.

Until you hear the distinct sound of someone calling for you, Gabi’s voice rings across the streets. Your eyes spring open, and you catch a glimpse of her on the main road, Reiner in tow. You still, watching as they disappear down the street.

“Minute over.” You murmur.

Porco hums in response. “Minute over.” He echoes, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Let’s go.”

---

One more minute.

Clawing at your throat, bile threatens to spill over from you. There’s an aching in your chest, a hammering against your ribcage. Your heart threatens to crack the very ribs that protect it. Your footsteps feel heavy, weighted by cement. There’s a dull pain thudding behind your dry, bloodshot eyes, the capillaries in them threatening to burst at the seams.

You wish you would have stayed in that alleyway for just one more minute.

Corpses would still litter the streets of the place you call home, crimson blood pooling against the concrete and staining the pavement. The hospitals would still be overfilled—maximized to their capacity—and even then, with patients scattered across the hallways. Smoke would still billow, flames roaring in the midst of building debris. The crisp, icy water of the sea would still hold the remnants of Marley’s naval fleet—pieces of their vessels floating aimlessly across the ocean.

A minute wouldn’t have prevented this. A minute wouldn’t have fixed this.

But for a minute, the vile image of Zofia’s pulverized upper body wouldn’t be on repeat in your mind—the mental image of her limp legs connected to nothing haunting you whenever you squeezed your eyes shut. A minute would have spared you the feeling of Udo’s arm slipping from your grasp in the midst of the panic. A minute would have given you the opportunity to hold your sister close, keeping Gabi by your side and never letting her go. Another would have prevented her from boarding that airship and taking Falco with her.

Breathe.

You have to order yourself to take deep breaths, lest you claw at your skin and tear the feeling of guilt out of your muscles. The miserable feeling clutches your chest like a vise, constricting your lungs. Tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. You blink them back—you don’t get to cry, not yet.

Breathe.

Forcing out another sputtering breath is like swallowing a hot coal. The acidic burn in your throat is only reinforced by the action. You keep swallowing, attempting to provide some sort of aid to no avail.

The Paradis devils. Eren Yeager. They’ve destroyed your home and killed innocent civilians who had nothing to do with the Warriors actions. And now they have Falco and your sister—your baby sister.

Through the shroud of grief, there is only panic.

Is she a prisoner of war? Is she dead? Are they going to torture her for information? Will they use the same methods that Marley does? You don’t even want to think about it.

Your gut tells you she’s alive.

And it’s so hard to breathe.

Breathe.

You failed them.

It’s clear as day, plain and simple. You should have spoken up and told someone with a higher ranking about your gut feeling. Instead, you doubted your judgment. General Magath might have listened, though the rest really would have never believed something as silly as a gut feeling.

But you did fail them: Zofia, Udo, Gabi, Falco, Pieck, Reiner, Colt...

Porco.

Oh god, Porco.

You finally reach his bedside, unsteady and five seconds away from completely unraveling. The feeling of breaking completely only intensifies as your eyes roam Porco’s unconscious body. The Warriors took a brutal assault from Eren Yeager, one that not even your gut could have predicted.

Temporarily, relief floods you. Porco is alive; his body is regenerating. It’s clear the doctors have done all they can for him, the only course of action to allow the titan’s power to complete the rest.

It’s the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in after a battle.

You practically collapse into a nearby chair, unable to stand on the two feet that have been carrying you throughout Liberio tonight. All you can do for a moment is stare at him, watching as his chest slowly rises and deflates. He’s alive. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive...

And Udo and Zofia are not.

Shakily, your hand reaches out for Porco’s, his fingers clammy and cold to the touch as you clasp your hand around his. Thousands of emotions rush through your veins, and your mind fights tooth and nail to make sense of all of them. You cling to him, the relief of him being alive and the guilt of being glad that he is alive swirling within you all at once. How are you going to be glad he’s alive when your sister is gone and people are dead? How are you going to feel glad he’s alive when you should have been by his side in the first place?

You don’t know.

You break.

The tears come pouring out in rapid succession. “I’m sorry.” You say this through gritted teeth, lowering your head against Porco’s arm. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left your side.”

You fall asleep curled over his bedside, his hand in yours, clinging on for dear life.

---

Porco doesn’t wake for a while, even after his body has recuperated.

Over the span of his unconsciousness, you’ve been flip-flopping between the hospital and your home in what little free time you’re offered, checking on your parents and giving your aunt updates on Reiner.

Your parents are wrought with grief, convinced that Gabi has been killed. The crying is incessant from your mother, while your father is stone-cold and quiet. But you know better—Gabi is not dead. You don’t tell them that, though; the fate of her being alive in the hands of the island devils might be worse than her being dead.

When Porco does wake up, you’re there.

You barely register the subtle flex of his fingers against yours; he is far too busy spacing off. Porco stirs to life, a pained grunt erupting from his lips. His eyes flutter open, adjusting to the haze of his newfound surroundings and trying to come to terms with what he remembered before blacking out. By the time you notice, he’s already speaking.

“You're going to squeeze my fingers off.” Porco’s raspy voice grumbles from beneath you. Dazed, his tired eyes peer up at you from beneath heavy lids.

His first words to you almost want to make you laugh—or cry—solely because of the fact that he’s speaking. Porco’s always been terrible with words. When he confessed his love to you, it took you a good ten minutes to actually understand what he was saying. It’s one of the most endearing things about him.

But you can’t muster a laugh, and you’ve almost cried your body's weight in water. There’s nothing left for you to do besides softly gasp, “You’re awake.”

"Yeah, and I hurt like hell.” Porco murmurs, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. You turn and reach for the water at his bedside as he props himself up. He squeezes your hand as he takes it. “What happened?”

Your body stills, reforming itself into something statue-like. One wrong move, and you're certain your limbs will crumble into dust. Regardless of what you believe, you have to tell him everything, much like you had to fill in Pieck when she awoke.

So you do. You tell Porco everything that has happened or did happen as a result of Paradis’s raid on Liberio. You recount the death toll as you know it, including Zofia and Udo. You assure him that his parents are okay. You tell him the effort to rebuild the destruction and scrub the city clean is already under way. You tell him about Pieck and Reiner, you tell him about Zeke.

Much like you did, Porco goes through a range of emotions. The prevalent one is anger; you can see it bubble and dwell beneath his skin. A fierce look glints in his eye, and you let him break into a tangent, surprised that he managed to keep his anger controlled this long. Deep down, you know he blames himself, much like you do.

Once he cools, he looks at you. “How’s Gabi?” He asks.

Your mouth runs dry. You had been purposefully pushing that part of the story until the bitter end. “Gabi’s….Gabi’s gone.” You strain out.

“Gabi’s dead?” Porco’s eyes grow wide. He leans forward, all attention on you.

You shake your head. “Gabi’s not dead.” What little tears you can produce struggle their way out, burning white-hot at the corners of your eyes. “S-she’s gone. They took her. She boarded that damn airship, and Falco went with her.”

It becomes a struggle to breathe again. The all-consuming panic crashes over you like a tidal wave. You wish you could be stronger about it, like you have been, but in the presence of Porco, you shatter all over again.

“Hey," Porco coaxes, tugging at you. “C’mere.”

You crawl into the creaky hospital cot with him, careful about where you put pressure. You don’t care what your position is or who sees it; you need him. Porco seems to have the same sentiment as he guides you. You rest your head against his chest, thankful for the slow, steady beat of his heart that thuds in your ears.

“She’s gone, Pock. They took her and Falco, and they killed Zofia, and it’s all my fault.” You whimper against his chest, once again fighting back the trickling downpour on your cheeks. Absent-mindedly, Porco’s fingers comb through your hair.

“Don’t say that.” Porco firmly commands. “This isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault but those fucking island devils'. I swear-“

“Porco.”

He sharply inhales, running his free hand along his mouth. “What?”

“I should have had your back.” You say, curling into his body. “I’m - I'm really glad you’re alive.”

Porco’s fingers grow still in your hair. You hear the quick skip of his heartbeat, and your eyes flicker to his face. A faint smirk pulls at his lips. “They can’t kill me that easily, not when I have you to come back to.” He tells you. Porco pulls you as close as he can, mushing your bodies together. “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “We’ll get Gabi back, I promise. Whatever it takes.”

You believe him, body and soul, because you know him. Nodding at his words, face brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt, you mold yourself against the shape of his frame. You clutch to the only thing that makes sense in the world at the moment—tired and weary.

“I love you.” You murmur.

A quick second passes, and you begin to believe he hadn’t heard you, until he murmurs back a soft "I love you, too.”

And in that minute, you wish you could stay in his arms forever.

[dr4kenlvr]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 - 𝐛.𝐤

baji keisuke x gn!reader [reader is on their period, but there are no solidified pronouns!] - fluff, comfort (0.5k+)

request: how about a short fic with baji taking care of a reader who has very debilitating cramps? i've never seen anyone to that before, and personally, my cramps can get so bad to the point where painkillers barely work. if it's too much, then feel free to ignore this ♡

nana's note: oh man i also get really painful cramps so this is really relatable :/ now can i get a baji to comfort me or nah - also first post of the year yayayay

baji watches as the timer on the microwave counts down from 1 minute, each second accompanied by an impatient shake of his foot and a nervous sigh. it was that time of the month for you, and although you were upstairs laying in the soft sheets of his bed—the extreme painful cramps took away all that comfort. it had gotten so bad, that you were having trouble walking around. baji took the initiative to head downstairs, and heat up your heating pack for your stomach. 

“no no, you—you’re staying right here, ‘kay? i’ll figure out how to heat this thing and be right back” he had told you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before dashing down to the lower level of his apartment. 

beep! sounds the microwave, and baji pulls open its door to grab the pack. “ah fuck!” he shrieks, nearly dropping the pack flat on the ground. “shit’s hot as hell, fuck.” baji murmurs to himself, hastily making his way up the stairs and into his room.

“m’back, baby. let this cool down for a bit.” he places the pack next to you on the mattress, leaning in to grab your hand immediately after. 

“your hand is really warm,” you comment, looking at your boyfriend with his hair all tousled and clothes so casual. he looks handsome in his grey sweats and white tee, it’s not everyday you can catch him not in uniform for either toman or school. a smile forms on your face when he looks at you sheepishly.

he grins, “let’s just say the pack was really warm, too.”

you squint your eyes at him with a knowing glare, “i heard someone scream earlier. perhaps..” your smile turns teasing, “it was you?”

baji scoffs at your suggestion, puffing out his chest dramatically and flexing his muscles. “me? screaming? nah—must’ve been the wind, babe.” the pair of you laugh together, before you suddenly clutch your stomach as it tightens in mild pain. 

baji’s behaviour goes alert, as he quickly grabs the (now bearable) heat pack and places it onto your stomach carefully. he watches your expression attentively, as it contorts from discomfort to gradual ease. “is this okay?” he asks, and you nod. a yawn leaves you, a sudden tiredness taking over you for a moment.

“thank you, keisuke.” you mutter after a while, noticing that his hand still hasn’t left the pack. his hand keeps it in place, even though it surely won’t fall over if he were to let go. in reality, baji just wants to keep on holding you. you place both your palms atop his, feeling that same warmth envelop your nerves—and the rest of your body.

baji leans down to press his lips to your exposed skin, he closes his eyes as his breathing falls in tune with your’s. “i love you, you know i’ll do anything for you, whenever.” his brown eyes open when he notices you’ve fallen silent, your breathing sounds more calm and the hands once on top of his have fallen slack against the blanket. you’ve fallen asleep.

baji carefully departs from you, and presses a small peck to your lips before adjusting the pillows and blanket around you. he knew just how you liked to sleep, and he would remember these small things for the rest of time—if for you.

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @kazuhoya @gwynsapphire @sscarchiyo @reiners-milkbiddies @smileyswifeyy @bontensimp-blog @thisbicc @megumisemo (send me an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs, comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!

[yourlocaltrashcan657]

Mental Hospital AU! Yandere! Attack on Titan x Female Reader ~| Jean Ending |~

“Y/N!” Jean called out before engulfing her into his arms. “I’m so sorry I left you! I’ll never do it again! I promise you! I was just going to see where Marco went.”

“I’m glad you’re okay Jean.” Y/N said before patting his back. “I need to get you to a room so that you are safe.”

”W-What?! No no! Please, I’m begging you no!” Jean pleaded. “You and I need to find Marco! The three of us can escape then-“

”You didn’t find him.?!” Y/N asked.

”N-no. I went to Ward 4 and I couldn’t find him anywhere. That must mean he escaped, right?” Jean asked full of hope.

”Let’s go to the emergency exits. That way we can go outside and see where all of the doctors and nurses are.” Y/N suggested.

”What happens if we run into Reiner and Bertolt?” Jean asked as he furrowed his eyebrows at their names.

”What do you mean? If we get out, the police can deal with them-“ Y/N began to say.

”Y/N, they have forces from outside! What’s to say that they aren’t outside the building right now?! They could take you!” Jean said as he shook Y/N.

”Calm down! Why would they want to take me.?” Y/N asked curiously.

”All of the patients in Ward 1 are obsessed with you! Heck, even I’m obsessed with you!” Jean admitted. “The first time i saw you I thought you’re some sort of Goddess.. I’m not surprised those bastards thought the same.”

”Jean, are you trying to say that I have a whole Ward of unstable patients hunting me down?!?” Y/N asked in shock.

“It doesn’t matter Y/N! You have me and as long as I’m here, not a single one of those idiots will lay a finger on you.” Jean said as he gently held her hand and looked down at her.

Looking up, Y/N looked into his brown eyes and saw genuine care within him. The lights around them flickered on and off and distant screams could be heard in the distance but none of that mattered. For once, she acknowledged the tiny details on his face, body and even hands.

”Jean..! We have to leave now.” Y/N muttered as she dragged him away.

”Wait.! I’m not having you waste your energy.” Jean said as he stoped her from running and got on his knee. “Get on my back, it’ll be easier.”

”I don’t know about this.. I’m pretty heavy for you-“ Y/N started to say.

”No your not! You’re perfect just the way you are Y/N, I don’t care what you think badly about yourself.” Jean said before looking down and blushing.

Y/N got onto his back, wrapped her legs around his waist and let her arms hang around his chest. Jean ran for while as Y/N directed him and soon they made it to the cafeteria.

”We can go through the exit through the cafeteria, Jean.” Y/N said as Jean opened the door.

Walking in, Jean saw a group of people huddled in the corner. Instantly, he recognised Reiner and Bertolt. Turning back, he nearly bumped into a tall, blonde teenager, who had a facial expression holding many emotions. 

“Please.” Jean whispered quietly to him. “I need to get her to safety.”

”I’m s-sorry. You already know what Reiner is like. If I don’t listen to him, they’ll kill my brother.” The blonde sobbed out.

”Colt..! Please, Ymir told me about you.” Y/N whispered quietly. “We can get you and your brother out of here-“

”You can’t.” Colt sobbed out a bit louder as he backed them into the Cafeteria. “Reiner and Bertolt have nearly blocked off all exits. They’ll find us either way.”

Eventually, the two were in sight of the group in the corner. Reiner and Bertolt looked at Y/N, who was tired, and soon looked much happier. 

“Good job Colt! It seems as though Connie couldn’t find Y/N, but you found her! Along with Jean…” Reiner said to Colt, who had already rushed towards his younger brother.

”Reiner you sick bastard. You’ve put the whole hospital in danger because of wanting to get a few seconds of freedom.” Jean said as he stepped back a bit.

”No, I put the whole hospital in danger so I can have Y/N for the rest of my life.” Reiner corrected.

”R-Reiner, what about my share of the deal? You said I could have Y/N too..” Bertolt asked.

”Loot at you guys! You’re all sickos! Acting as if Y/N is some sort of toy or prize to be won!” Jean yelled as he looked for the exit.

”Reiner, Bertolt. Hurry up and get the girl, we are leaving.” Annie muttered.

”A-Annie.! You can’t be seriously siding with them.?! You’re a nice person, I know it. You must be doing it against your will, right?” Y/N asked.

Annie gave the cold shoulder and walked towards Pieck, another one of Ymir’s patients. Porco handed Bertolt some sort of drug and walked off with Zeke and the two girls as they started preparing bags.

”Y/N, I don’t want to use this on you..” Bertolt said as he stepped forward.

”Then don’t! Jean, now!” Y/N yelled out, making Jean run towards the emergency exit in the Cafeteria. Reiner ran after them but was too late as Jean quickly blocked the door with heavy objects.

“Y/N.. we made it outside.” Jean said as he still carried her.

”Thank you Jean. Thank you so much.” Y/N sobbed out as she rested her head on his shoulder, not seeing the pink tint on his face.

”I don’t see Marco or any of your friends.. Y/N, we lost our friends.” Jean cried out as he sat on a nearby bench and let her sit beside him.

”I’m so sorry Jean. I’m here for you and you’re here for me. Right?” Y/N asked. Jean nodded before resting her head on his shoulder.

.

.

.

“Marco! You shouldn’t get paint everywhere..” Y/N said as she wiped the little boys clothes. “Jean, he’s your son. Knock some sense into him.”

Jean kneeled beside the messy toddler and looked at him and smiled cheekily. 

“Who’s the man?!” Jean asked playfully.

”I’m da man!” Marco shrieked. Jean tickled him, having the room erupt with laughter.

“Darling, not only is be my son but he’s yours too! And I think he needs his nappy to be changed.. who better to do it than his momma!” Jean teased.

”Haha very funny.” Y/N said as she wiped the table. “Unless you want to make food, clean the whole of the house, iron the clothes and much more, I’ll gladly change his nappy.” 

A moment of silence passed before Jean picked up the little boy and started throwing him up in the air and catching him.

”Let’s go change your nappy lil man.” Jean said as he walked towards Y/N. “Love ya Baby.”

Y/N simply looked at him and smiled before kissing his cheek and taking the baby from him and kissing his chubby face too.

”Love you too Babe.” Y/N said.

[roseofdarknessblog]

The Most Beautiful Season (Reiner Braun x Marleyan!Reader)

Word count: 3 930

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: You and Reiner are still trying to recover from your past mistakes. Now more than ever, because your little family of two will soon have a new addition.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: House by the ocean

The Most Beautiful Season

Your favorite season was here once again – fall. You’ve loved it since you were little and even after so many years, you were always the most excited, when nature started to change and fall was just around the corner. Yes, the hot summer weather was nice, mainly in your new home on the coastline, but you couldn’t wait for fall to finally arrive and show you, just how beautiful your new home could get.

Marley was always beautiful this time of the year. Trees in the nearby forest just outside Liberio started to change colors midway through September and by the end of the month, the majority of the forest was almost unrecognizable. Wandering around there, collecting colorful leaves just for fun, or reading at the bank of the river was like a dream come true.

However, this wasn’t Marley and the forest you used to know. That was long gone and never coming back to see another fall season again. Your old home was completely destroyed and the people you once used to know – all of your old friends and neighbors – were dead. Everything from your childhood only existed in your memories now.

And even after almost a year, it was still hard to come to terms with. All of what happened still felt surreal, just like a nightmare, which is going to end soon. But no. There was no waking up from reality.

„You’re getting pretty good at this,“ you said with a smile, looking over your shoulder. Reiner was standing there, his fingers more easily than ever braiding your hair. It got pretty long over the last few months. „Who knows, maybe you’ll need this skill in the near future.“

„I don’t think it would be this easy with short hair. There won’t be much to work with,“ he said, concentrating on every move of his fingers. Although he was getting better and better at braiding your hair and could do a couple of different styles now, he still had a lot to learn. Better said, he wanted to learn since doing this helped him relax. And it was a nice way to spend time together, you had to admit that. „But if I’ll have the opportunity, I’ll definitely try it.“

„Well, her hair is not going to be short forever.“

„Yeah, I know that. But there is still a pretty big chance it’s going to be a he.“

You smiled and dipped your paintbrush into the prettiest shade of pink you’ve ever mixed together. „Would you like that more? If we had a son?“

„It doesn’t matter, honey. All I want is for you both to be okay. That will make me perfectly happy.“

You could feel him smile, as he kissed you behind your left ear. One of his hands let go of your hair for a second, gently caressing your belly. It was still pretty small and if you put on a baggier piece of clothing, it was easy to hide it. But not so much in the long light-brown dress you were wearing at that moment. It hugged your body in all the right places, now your growing belly including. And Reiner loved that – seeing that your love created a new life, that would be born into a completely different world than in which the two of you grew up.

„Pieck is thinking about moving over here. I got her letter this morning,“ Reiner said while he continued to braid your hair and simultaneously watch as you paint the scenery in front of your eyes – the view of the cliffs and ocean from your garden. They were the prettiest during sunsets, especially ones as beautiful as the one that was happening right at that moment. „What do you think about it?“

„It would be lovely to have her close by, she’s always been really nice to me. And maybe the seaside would help her dad’s medical condition as well.“

„He got some new medicine recently and is doing much better now.“

„I’m glad to hear that, really.“

You got to know the Warrior’s parents and many more Eldians on the train, that took you from Liberio to Fort Salta. As you were all running from the Rumbling, you had the perfect chance to get to know the people you were supposed to hate. And Mr. Finger was one of them. Even during the end of the world, all he was thinking about was his only daughter.

During that time, it was probably the same for your own father. When Mr. Leonhart with some other Eldians took him, now a former Marleyan soldier, captive and he bargained with them, to let you come with them as well. Back then he still loved you. Back then... back then he wasn’t disappointed that you fell in love with an Eldian.

„Speaking of fathers...“ Reiner said, probably feeling how you tensed up.

„I’m trying not to think about it.“

„I heard you cry last night and in the morning as well.“ You nodded, not even trying to deny how much this whole situation still hurt you.

Many months went by without you seeing your father – your only living parent. And when you finally gathered up the courage to return to Marley, to the place where he lived now, he didn’t even bother to let you inside the house. You stayed there for almost a week, trying over and over again every single day multiple times. But your father didn’t change his mind. For him, you were a lost cause and the biggest disappointment of his life. All of that because you chose to live a happy life with Reiner.

And despite that, you still tried. Over and over again. You still wrote him a letter and sent it every single week. Sometimes there were many things you wanted to tell him, and sometimes you didn’t really have anything interesting to write about. But you still thought of some things and sent at least a couple of lines. Every letter ended the same way – you reminded him how much you still loved him and how much you missed seeing him.

„I know it still hurts and you can’t imagine how sorry I am, that your father is acting like this. But I don’t want you stressing yourself out because of him. Not now and not ever.“

You smiled for yourself, while Reiner finished braiding your hair. His arms immediately wrapped around your waist, his palms resting on your stomach. He was ecstatic when you told him about your pregnancy right after you came back from Marley. You knew about the baby even before that but didn’t want to say anything, as you didn’t want Reiner to come with you. And if he knew, that you were carrying his child, he would never let you go alone.

The baby wasn’t planned. At least not right now. But none of you tried to prevent a possible pregnancy by all means. You simply let that part of your life be, leaving all in the hands of fate. You tried to believe, that everything was just as it was supposed to be. For some reason, you were meant to get pregnant right now. Maybe that’s why you felt so much peace and joy.

Yes, becoming parents sounded pretty scary, mainly because both you and Reiner were still slowly healing and adjusting to your new life. Knowing, that you’ll soon be a family of three, seemed to help you as well. Both of you were trying your best every single day so that everything will be more than perfect for the day your baby makes the grand entrance into this world.

Reiner was worried about becoming a father, of course, he was. He never really knew his own dad, which made him second-guess himself in many things. Even now, months before your due date and his first-ever chance to hold his firstborn child. But you were more than sure, that he would do great.

„I was thinking about writing him again and telling him about the baby. It’s not like I have anything to lose.“

„Did you want to tell him, when you were in Marley?“

You shrugged, putting your brush down. The sky above your head was stunning, all you could see were the most beautiful shades of pink and gold. You didn’t feel like painting anymore today. Even though the weather was still very nice and warm during the day, when the sun set, it started to get cold pretty soon.

„It’s not like he would be excited like your mom.“

„Even I was in shock over her reaction,“ Reiner admitted, carefully turning you around in his embrace and kissing your forehead gently. „I think she’ll enjoy being a grandma.“

Your relationship with Karina was... still developing. At first, she too was against you and Reiner being together. But she very quickly changed her mind, when she saw how happy you made her son. After the two of you moved away from Marley, she came to visit twice before deciding that living near you would be a great idea. After finding a small apartment in the heart of the town, she happily left Marley behind as well. Since then, she came over to your cottage at the coastline at least once a week and tried to mend her strained relationship with you and Reiner as well.

„What is it?“ you asked, cupping his cheeks. Something was bothering him, and you hated to see that.

„Nothing, I just... I just wish that we could stop worrying about our parents.“

„Not to sound negative, but I don’t think we’ll be able to do that.“

Reiner loved his mother, but their relationship was complicated. Karina made a lot of mistakes while raising her son, mainly thinking about herself and her wish of becoming an honorary Marleyan. She used her son for her own good while feeding Reiner lies after lies. She very well knew, that his father, a Marleyan, would never come home to them and they would never live as a happy family. But she kept convincing him, that when he becomes a Warrior, his dad will finally love him.

„I just hope we won’t make the same mistakes they did while raising us.“

„We won’t,“ you reassured him, gently brushing your lips over his mouth. „We’ll make some new ones,“ you added, making Reiner smile. Seeing him in a mood like this was something very precious to you. „And that’s okay. I don’t think anybody knows how to be a perfect parent. We’ll figure everything out.“

„Well, it’s not like we’ll be completely clueless. We successfully raised six ducklings without any of them dying or running away.“

Both of you lovingly looked over to the part of your garden, which was reserved for the ducks you got from a nearby farm when they were still tiny little babies. They were free to roam the garden most of the time, but sometimes it was nice to put them behind a fence and not worry about them always getting in your way. Mainly, when Reiner was home, as they loved to follow him around since they were tiny.

Reiner helped you put away your painting stuff before it got dark, and then both of you said good night to your ducks. You did it every single evening, making it an unskippable part of your night routine. After that, Reiner helped you make dinner, which he had to eat alone in the end. Your nausea was still coming and going, even now during the second trimester. One minute you were fine and enjoying your pregnancy, the other you felt like dying from all the symptoms.

„I wish I could do something to help you feel better,“ Reiner said when he finally came out of the shower and slipped into bed beside you.

„It’s fine, don’t worry,“ you assured him with an exhausted smile. „I just hoped that these symptoms would go away, but I still feel awful most of the time.“

„But you still have that beautiful pregnancy glow.“

You smiled, cuddling up to Reiner and making yourself comfortable in his arms. Even if you spent the entire day together, this was your favorite time. Being so close to him and spending the last couple of minutes or hours before sleeping just peacefully talking and holding onto each other. Sweet everyday moments like this from your domestic life were your most treasured ones. They were everything you dreamed about just a year ago. And now you had the chance to enjoy them whenever you wanted.

„I have the next few days off work, so we can spend time together. If you’ll feel up to it, we can walk around a little. I know how much you like fall nature.“

„I keep thinking about the forest outside Liberio. It used to be so pretty this time of the year. I loved spending time there.“

„Gabi loved wondering alongside the river. Even if she wasn’t allowed to go there very often.“

As he said those words a sad realization came down on you. Of course, that life back in Liberio wasn’t the same for all of you. While you had all the freedom you wanted, Reiner, his family, and friends were forced to live by very different rules. Leaving the internment zone wasn’t easy for everyone. All Eldians needed special permission and not everyone was able to get it.

„Hey, what’s wrong? Did I say something?“ Reiner asked worriedly when he saw the smile from your face vanish and your eyes grow sad.  

„No, I just... keep forgetting how differently we grew up. The things I took for granted were never like that for you or Gabi.“

With an almost sad smile, Reiner kissed the top of your head. „No need to be sad about that. We can’t change it now.“

„I know, but sometimes... sometimes I can’t help but think about how wrong I was for most of my life. I never questioned anything Marley taught me about your people, just hated your kind like everybody around me. Without realizing, that all of you have nothing to do with the actions of your ancestors. I... I wanted all of you gone, so we won’t have to fear your kind ever again.“

„I think we can both agree, that we had no other choice back then. We simply had to believe everything our parents, teachers, and the military were telling us. We didn’t know any better, we were just kids who grew up in a hate-driven environment.“

„And where did that get us? How many people lost their lives because of it?“

You didn’t know, exactly how many people may have lost their lives during the Rumbling. And maybe it was for the best. Knowing about all that damage in detail would do nothing, only make you feel even worse.

„Why are you thinking about it now?“

„Because...“ You took a deep breath, your right hand coming to rest on your belly. „We’ll soon be parents as well. We’ll have our own child and it’s going to be our responsibility to raise them into a good and proper human being. And when I look back at how we were raised...“

„I thought we already discussed this. We won’t make the same mistakes as our parents. Simply because we want our child to have a better life.“

You nodded, lifting your head from Reiner’s chest. It was obvious, that he was sometimes thinking about similar things. After all, both of you were still learning and changing with every passing day. And now, with you being pregnant, both you and Reiner seemed to think about the past even more. Talking about all of it was necessary but painful nonetheless.

And now even more than ever.

Now, just a few months before your baby will be born.

„I’ll do everything for them, Y/N. I’ll love them more than you can even imagine. More than both of our parents loved either of us.“ His hand came to rest over yours which was still on your belly, his lips pressing against your mouth in a sweet reassuring kiss.

„I know you will, Reiner,“ you whispered still just a few inches from his mouth.  

„You can count on me in everything, you know that, right? I promise to never leave you or the baby. And I promise to give you everything you’ll need.“

You smiled and leaned closer for another kiss, cupping his cheek with your free hand. „You don’t have to promise me anything. I never doubted you. Not for a single second.“

Him feeling insecure was something you were expecting. That’s why you tried your hardest every single day, to let him know that you believe in him. You had no reason to doubt him or his words. Reiner loved you and did his absolute best for you and the baby from the very second you told him about your pregnancy.

He was fussing around you every chance he got, some days not letting you do absolutely anything, reminding you that you need to rest as much as possible. Sometimes it was annoying, but you knew Reiner only meant well. This was simply his way of showing you how much he cared – taking as much as he could upon himself, so you don’t have to lift a finger.

There still were many things you wanted and needed to talk about. But all of them could wait. With one last sweet kiss, you rested your head on Reiner’s chest again and closed your eyes. It was already pretty late and you could tell, Reiner was just as exhausted as you.

That’s why you hoped for a quiet and peaceful night.

But all of your hopes were shattered when dreams about your father woke you up multiple times. The last one made you feel such pain and discomfort, that you started crying almost immediately after opening your eyes. Not wanting to wake Reiner up, you carefully got up and left your shared bedroom.

Sobbing quietly, you sat down at the dining table and buried your face into your hands. Whatever you did, you couldn’t stop being like this. You couldn’t stop thinking and worrying about him. If your heart could take such pain, you would be standing at his door every single day and waiting for him to finally let you in and have a talk with you. But that wasn’t an option, definitely not now. You had to think of your unborn baby... and yourself too. It wouldn’t help anyone if you physically and emotionally destroyed yourself for someone, who simply didn’t care.

Even if that person raised you and loved you for so many years.

But just until...

„EREN!“

You immediately jumped to your feet, when Reiner’s scream echoed through the entire house. With a pounding heart, you hurried back to the bedroom. Reiner was already sitting at the edge of the bed, too busy trying to catch his breath to notice you standing at the door. His pillow was laying on the floor, while the bedsheets were tossed all over the bed.

Without saying anything, you walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of him, reaching for his hands. You ran your thumbs over his knuckles, before pulling his hands closer and gently kissing them.

When Eren’s name was mentioned this late during the night, it was obvious, that none of you would get any proper rest. Not when Reiner woke up screaming, crying, and covered in a cold sweat, barely able to catch his breath.

„It’s fine, you’re okay, Reiner,“ you said quietly and reached for his face. Carefully, you grabbed his chin and made him look right at you. Seeing tears building up in his honey-gold eyes shattered your heart probably for the millionth time. „It was just a nightmare. You know he’s gone now.“

Even if you never knew the Eren he met back at Paradis, during his years at the military academy, and only knew that version of him, which tried to destroy the world, you tried not to hate him. You didn’t know and couldn’t fully understand what that boy went through and why exactly he did what he did. But during times like this, when you saw how Reiner still suffered because of all that... you let hate and anger take over you. And it always took you some time to remind yourself, that hate was precisely what brought you here. Into this new world, which almost didn’t even get the chance to exist.

„Everything that happened... it was my fault.“ He was so sure that what he was saying was the only and ultimate truth. Maybe that was the most painful thing for you. Him being too hard on himself over every single thing that went wrong.

Thinking about what he said, you shook your head. „We’ve talked about this many times and you know, that it’s not true. It simply... it had to happen.“

„But if it wasn’t for me...“

„It was never just you, Reiner.“ You wiped away his tears, smiling when he slipped down from the bed and sat down next to you. One of his strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, while the other caressed your belly. „We both love you so, so, so much,“ you assured him, kissing his cheek.

Letting him cry and grieve was important from the very start. There was nothing bad about it. Not after all of what he went through. Just as he accepted your tears, when you felt sad because of your father, you accepted all of the things which brought tears to his eyes.

Moments like this were the hardest and most painful when it came to healing. And there was simply no way around them. Both of you had to go straight through and feel all that pain many more times before you were finally ready to let go.

„Your eyes are puffy, were you crying?“ he asked after a minute of silence, both of you cuddled up to each other, while still sitting on the hard wooden floors.

You didn’t want to talk about it, so you simply shook your head and buried your face into his shoulder. He was still shaking slightly when you pressed your lips against his neck and wrapped your arm around his body.

„I love you,“ Reiner said, pulling you closer and making you sit in his lap. He needed to feel you as close as possible, to be sure he was back in reality now. „Guess these sleepless nights are good for something, don’t you think?“

„What exactly are they good for?“ you asked teasingly, hugging him around the neck and resting your forehead against his.

His arms were wrapped around your waist, making sure to be as gentle with you as possible. He was always like this, but since you told him about the baby, he sometimes treated you as if you were made of glass. Not to mention all the love you could see in his eyes every single time he looked at you.  

„We’ll be used to waking up and not getting much sleep once the baby is here.“

What a bittersweet moment that was. When Reiner’s smile and your laugh once again turned into tears full of unimaginable pain and regrets. These feelings never seemed to go away. They kept sticking around, looking over your shoulder, and making sure you don’t take life lightly and don’t laugh too much and too sincerely.

Well... at least for now.

[firefly--bright]

ok but like imagine jean during his cadet days trying his very best to learn abt flowers for y/n but also seem nonchalant abt it 😭 like y/n sees a pretty flower & jean notices & just goes "that's a nice geranium 👍" but inside he's praying & hoping y/n notices he's making an effort for her interests

Botany, baby

a blooming hearts extra! (check masterlist in my navigation for the full series :))

jean kirstein x reader (**implied fem, but they/them pronouns used)

** the reader is implied to be in the girl's dorm with Sasha, Mikasa, and the others.

warnings : none. (lowercase intended)

tagging : @a10vely-yutazen

a/n : hi! I'm so sorry this took so long :( it also turned out wayyy longer than I expected? and that was even after i cut a couple parts lmao. but i hope you like it! i know it might not be exactly what you were asking for,,, but i hope it's good anyway :) thank you so much for the ask and support! i really appreciate it ( ◜‿◝ )♡

•❥•✿••❥•✿••❥•✿••❥•✿••❥•✿••❥•✿••❥•✿•

"hey, Armin, come check this out!" you say, pointing at a small plant sprouting from the cracked ground, dry from not being showed any mercy from the relentless heat.

Armin crouches beside you, observing the leaf under the bright moonlight. "which one do you think it is?" he asks, and you shrug. you don't really care about the plant that much, much about the creature crawling on top of it.

It was pretty to look at, with all of it's legs slowly walking up on the leaf's veiny terrain. A green body, some brown spots that looked almost blue under the night sky. you were sure it would be a gorgeous butterfly soon, after it made its home in a cocoon under the leaf.

"the bug is really cool..." you trailed off, still captured by the way it moved on the leaf. you'd assumed all nature had slept by now, with the annoying cawing of the crows having died down just a couple hours prior, but this little bug was having the time of it's life, it seemed.

"maybe there's something about it in the book grandpa left me. i don't have it right now, though... maybe some day, we can research about it!" Armin says, and turns to you with a hopeful smile, which you gladly return.

"of course, Min." you say.

Jean feels like a creep looking at you like this, but he can't help it. what was so special about Armin that you sought out speaking to him more than jean? was it the fact that he knew more about plants and flowers than jean did? jean thought you liked that about him, that you could tell him about things he'd never heard of and he'd give you all of his attention, even if he pretended to be interested in other things.

"oi, jean, come on. let's go to the bunks," he heard Marco call out behind him. Jean refused to move, though, and Marco's footsteps eventually came to a halt behind him.

"you're being a creep, looking at them like that." Marco said.

Jean rolled his eyes, "I'm not being a creep." he turns now, moving alongside Marco to the boys bunks. "say, do you have a book or something about plants?"

there's a small pause, and jean is sure marco is smiling cheekily without even having to look at him.

"i don't, but Armin might. why the sudden interest?"

jean shrugs, keeping his eyes on the approaching building with his fingers interlocked behind his head. "no reason."

--

jean massaged his shoulder with his palm, groaning as his legs walked at a slower pace than usual. the last two hours had been spent running with a bag that seemed to be filled with rocks, and Shadis framed it as though if he and his commrades failed this task, they would loose their will to live.

jean felt like it was the opposite. he lost his will to live during the training.

the barracks were about a mile away from where they were currently, all the trainees walking slowly towards their cabins, and jean hoped there would be more food today. there was no way he'd be sleeping with an empty stomach.

Armin walked infront of him, alongside Reiner, who the former was thanking profusely for some reason. jean fastened his pace to catch up with him.

"oye, Armin."

"hey Jean," the blonde spared him a glance, going back to staring at the ground, sweat dripping off his forehead.

"say...do you have any books about...uhm...plants? or, like, the different types of flowers?"

jean was unusually nervous, his hand coming up to hold the back of his neck, something he had only recently noticed he picked up from Marco.

Armin looked at him now, fully, gaze fixed on his. he seemed to pick up on Jean's uneasiness, who quickly tried to hide it.

he hesitated, still questioning why jean would want it in the first place. he shrugged nonetheless, answering the boy's question, "yeah, i do. why?"

jean sighed in relief. Armin, ironically, was his only hope, otherwise he would have to wait until the next time they got their measly payment and buy the book himself, which seemed mortifying to him. jean had never stepped foot inside a bookstore or the library, and the times he did, he was with his mother who already knew what cookbooks to buy. the aisles of old parchment always intimidated him, and jean would always wonder why you and Armin loved reading so much. how did you know what you liked and disliked? how did you start? how did you imagine the world that the writers made so passionately? Armin and Marco only talked about encyclopaedias and information books because that's what fascinated them, but you talked about the romance novels you picked up from town, the poems and lines he saw you underline and write explanations about as if they were your scriptures. which, he assumed they were, for you.

"just.. no reason. wanna know what you guys keep talking about." he said. atleast it wasn't a complete lie, he reasoned with himself. technically, he did want to know what you were talking about, and boast about the fact that he knew some things, too.

"ah, alright. I'll let you borrow it after (y/n) is done with it. they still have my copy." he says, too tired to bother asking why jean would want to read all of a sudden. Jean was much like Eren, but if Armin said that thought out loud, he was afraid he'd be beaten to a pulp.

Jean's shoulders deflated. you liked to read things though, and with your extensive knowledge about plants and flowers and evrything jean didn't know about, it would take a while for you to finish - and probably memorize - the book. jean would have to wait a long time for his turn.

ah, well, jean figured. better late than never.

--

the rain had long pelted the ground, leaving large puddles in its wake. though you had tried not to get your boots dirty, all efforts of that were given up as you snuck past the large area, trying not to get caught.

it was night time - darker than usual because of the impending storm clouds. as usual, sasha had asked you to get some leftover food for her. she insisted that there was always some left after dinner, and her way of excusing sneaking in whatever old fruits and carbs you could find was that it provided her "energy" for the next day.

you refused to tell her that the rations you got with you were almost always more than enough to feed the entire dorm twice, carried carefully and delicately in both your arms like a swaddled baby, but you also wanted to give some to the boys dormitory - atleast the ones that had all your friends grouped into it. it was extremely convenient that all of them were placed under one roof, but you assumed that's why they got along in the first place. well, for the most part. jean and eren didn't fit in the 'getting along' category, but they could put aside their differences to get better rest (no doubt for their next round of passive and fully aggressive jabs at eachother).

the soft squish of the ground under your boots was the only sound that kept you company. well, that and the small lamp illuminating the door to the boy's dormitory, surrounded by a swarm of moths. stepping under the glow, you knocked the door with your foot twice, paused, and twice again - your "secret" code made up my Armin so they'd know it was safe to open. the lengths you went to sneak out just for some food probably would have made you an amazing spy, but that was just something for you to imagine about in your rare spare time. for now, you waited until eventually, you saw jean open the door.

he was careful not to let the hinges make any noise, lifting the door up slightly so that the weight of the wood wouldn't make any sound. during monsoons, the hinges got extra rusty because of the moisture and a couple close calls of getting caught had taught you guys to be even more cautious around this time.

yes, this had been going on for a while.

the load in your arms got lighter as he took some of the food for the dorm. you whispered a small "thank you" to him, which made him give you his signature scowl.

"why are you thanking me? you're the one getting the guys some food like an angel."

you rolled your eyes, refusing to be flustered, "I'm not an angel, that's reserved for Christa. also, there were no potatoes today."

"shit, what are you gonna tell sash? she'd go feral." he asks, and you shrug as best your could without letting the rations fall to the ground.

"guess I'll just let her eat my arm." you say, recieving a flicker of a smile from him.

jeans eyes flicker from the load in your hands to your eyes, then to something behind you.

meeting your eyes again, he says, "uh, that's... a pretty nice...sc-scabi-" he pauses, gulping, before continuing his sentence. "that's a pretty cool scabiosa."

he nods once he completes his thought, like he just won a competition, looking proud of himself. your brows furrow, and you shoot him a confused look.

Jean's smirk comes in full bloom. "behind you." he says, chin pointing towards the object.

his voice is no longer a whisper, now settling at an octave lower than how he'd usually speak in the daylight, and you turn around to see what's got him so proud.

the crumpled up piece of parchment that sat on the moist ground was the only thing that jean seemed to be talking about. you turned back to him, a smile of your own escaping your lips.

"that's...not a flower," you say. you watch the confusion take over his face, "it's a crumpled piece of parchment, jean."

you could see how he may have confused the flower with the parchment. the glow of the lamp under which he stood could have fooled anyone - the shadows that each crease created made it look like delicate petals of the summer flower.

"are you sure? it looks like scabi- scabi...."

"scabiosas," you completed, smile widening at his blunder. you let a small laugh escape your lips before composing yourself, deciding to not intentionally embarass him any further.

even in the flickering light of the candle's fire, you could see the evident blush of embarrassment flood his cheeks and tips of his ears. he continued to state at the fallen paper, refusing to meet your eyes.

"scabiosas are a summer flower." you whispered, which made him look back at you, "and it's monsoon. they can't be growing now, flower boy. nice guess, though." your tone condradicts your words, as the sarcasm latches onto your words. the teasing smile you're giving him isn't any better, and jean would've dug a hole and burried himself in it.

it wasn't that big of a deal, he tried to argue with himself. so what if he mistook a parchment for a flower? anyone could've done it, right?

still embarassing, though.

and the mortifying part about this? he was sure his friends were listening through the door he had left cracked open.

no, the mortifying part about this was that he would have to face you again, and while you had laughed and said goodnight to him before walking away, he knew he'd have to live with this embarassment every day for atleast a week or two before you'd forgotten about it.

hopefully, you'd see that he was only doing it to impress you, and not to make a complete and total fool of himself infront of you.

jean had stood there for a good two minutes before a tap on his shoulder pulled him out of his daze, as Marco guided him back to the dorm with a pitying smile, closing the door the same way jean had opened it.

"dude, is your eyesight that bad?" eren spoke after the door had closed.

jean sighed.

this would be a long night.

well, atleast Armin knew why Jean had wanted that book now.

--

Jean vowed to never try that trick ever again. even if he was confident over what plant it was, even if he went over the "Book of Botany" about a thousand times after that, he promised he'd never say the name of any plant ever again.

the dining hall was packed as always as jean sat down to eat his dinner - a bowl of warm soup with a few floating chunks of celery, and some bread. Marco sat beside him, chewing on the end of his bread while talking to bertholdt about the fact that Marco was going to visit his mother on the cadets' rare days off.

jean didn't have any plans for tomorrow, contrary to so many other people. he was originally planning to go see his mother as well, but decided to stay back and study for the written exams. he was doing well in the physical part of training; he was sure he'd be ranked in the top ten, but if he failed his written exams then there'd be no point in expert physical strength and strategies.

besides, after he'd heard that you'd be staying too, the decision wasn't hard to make.

speaking of, you slid right next to jean on the empty seat, the one he intentionally kept for you.

you had the same meal he did, except for the fact that half of your bread was already gone, no doubt given to Sasha and Mikasa, who you claimed 'barely ate after excerting herself so much'.

"what are you going to do tomorrow, flower boy?" Poppy asked, and jean pretended to think just so he could savour the nickname.

"probably just stay here and get some studying done. i wanna get good in the theory parts."

there was a beat of silence, and jean wondered if he should ask you what your plans were, but you interrupted his thoughts by asking, "wanna do it together? I'm not that good at it either, so... some company would be nice."

who was jean to refuse?

he shrugged and murmured a small "sure," that seemed to satisfy you, all while trying to hide the fact that his insides were filled with buzzing bees instead of butterflies. being beside you always felt more like a relaxing hum instead of fluttering butterflies, and aptly so. your tone dripped with a comfort jean couldn't really place.

the next day rolled faster than jean thought, with his body passing out of exhaustion and sleeping almost too well; something that didn't happen often. by the time he'd woken up, Marco and Thomas had already left, their bunks left empty and neat. the rest of the guys were gone too, and judging by the sun almost overhead, he'd slept in well into noon.

wasting no time, jean hopped into the shower and used Marco's special "perfume" he had made. he claimed his sister had extracted it from some plants and given it to him. jean figured using a couple drops today wouldn't be too bad. the lavender scent smeared on his collar as jean smirked to himself. Poppy wouldn't complain about his smell now, he thought, stepping out of the bathroom.

brushing a hand through his hair, taming the wet locks, he stepped out of the dorms. he donned his vest, opening the door only to be met by you, hand raised for a knock.

"oh. hey, jean. late morning today?"

jean lost his train of thought for a moment. did you always look this pretty or was it because you had finally gotten a full night of sleep? you eyes were extra sparkling today, he thought. maybe it had something to do with the fact that you didn't really need to overwork yourself today.

he cleared his throat after feeling rhe tips of his ears getting warm.

"yeah, kinda. whered'ya wanna study?" he asked, stepping out of the threshold of the dorm and following you.

"well... i thought, maybe, since it's our free day, we should go up to this place i found. it's not far from here and you don't need to spend your precious money, so don't worry about that. just our horses and some water, maybe some food, which I've already packed. trust me, okay? it's gonna be nice." you rambled, and jean could tell you were excited to take him to this mysterious place. honestly, he didn't care what the place was. he'd follow you till the ends of the barren earth if you asked.

but he refrained from voicing his thoughts. he always did. the gentle, softer thoughts were always kept to himself, which made it all the more sincere to him. and, no, it wasn't denial if he just never told anyone about it.

"sure, anywhere's fine. just as long as it doesn't include any hiking. my legs are fried."

your smile tells him all the answers he needs to know.

--

the trail was not that tricky, honestly, and you wondered why it had taken you so long to find. it was almost a straightforward road laced with broken foliage and thick bushes, which your horses crossed it without any problem.

nearing the place, you shouted to jean over your shoulder, "close your eyes!"

facing forward again, you couldn't see his brows furrow, but you could picture him doing his characteristic head tilt anyway. you knew he was making that scowl, and you awaited for the word to follow.

"huh?!"

bingo.

you smiled. "just close your eyes, it's a surprise!"

a beat passed.

"jean? did you close your eyes?"

"yes i did, poppy. i swear, if you do something wreckless-"

"I'm not you, kirstein. keep 'em closed."

you pulled the reins of your horse to come to a hault, as Jean's horse did the same. stepping off the steed's back, you patted her and fed her a golden apple you knew she'd enjoy.

you walked over to jean, who's eyes were still closed, body tensed. standing on your tip toes, you reach out a hand to poke his back with your finger. jean almost jumped off his horse after feeling you tap him, making you bark out a laugh.

"walls, poppy, don't do that! I've got my eyes closed for you and you pull this shit, i swear I'm going to-"

"okay, we get it, you're going to beat the shit out of me or whatever. get off the horse, come on."

you guide him off the horse, surprisingly without any complaints coming from jean. your hand rested on his broad back, the other hand holding his hand as he used you for support and clambered off the poor horse.

your hands didnt leave his warm back after his feet touched the ground, nor did you leave his hand, which was now tightly clasped around yours. biting your bottom lip to refrain a laugh from excaping you at how he'd hate to see you babying him like this, you guided him to the pond you wanted to show him.

the pond itself wasnt that large; covered by moss on its sides. the view was hidden by overgrown bushes which you carefully pushed aside with your boot to make way for the both of you. there were trees with hanging vines surrounding the water body. the only creatures that resided here were the humming dragonflies floating above the water and some freshwater fish under it, making the water and lotus ripple everytime they moved. oh, and there were lotus too, beautiful light pink petals gleaming under the sun. some were fully blossomed while some were mid-bloom, some as unborn buds. they were a beauty, really.

"okay, careful.." you muttered to jean, who stepped cautiously, using his other hand to steady his balance.

"if this isn't worth this effort, poppy.... I'm going to tell Shadis about what happens to all the missing rations."

you raised your brow even if he couldn't see it, "oh that would be such a tradgedy. truly, a loss." you deadpanned. "okay....now. open them." you say, and jean does so, blinking a couple times after to adjust to the light.

it takes him a few moments to take in the place you've just led him to. "wh..." he trails off, and you smile widely.

"right? i was surprised too. it's really pretty." you say, and jean looks at you without his signature scowl.

"uh huh. its nice." he says.

he looks at you, and under the sun almost directly overhead you, you see parts of his eyes you didn't have the time to notice before. the right side of them, where the light hit just right, his already honey brown eyes turned golden, and the rim of his pupils turned a shade lighter than what they usually were.

you broke eye contact before you said something stupid, choosing to look at the pond instead. spotting a dragonfly, you pointed to it, "look!"

jeans head turned, but his eyes refused to stop searching for yours. finally, when he did see the dragonfly, he found himself smiling. "holy shit... where'd you even find this, poppy? i mean...woah. did you show anyone else?"

a rather large part of him hoped that you only shared this with him.

you shrug, not remembering the details of what led you there. "i think i kinda got lost after ODM training? i dunno, it's hazy. but i haven't showed it to anyone. i don't know if others will find it as nice as you would."

jean scoffs, "of course they will. i mean, look at it."

you take a moment to look at his side profile again. he was looking out to the pond now, observing the surrounding, hair messy. there was a faint scent of lavender coming from him, and you almost smiled at the thought of him putting on Marco's signature perfume just for the occassion. you knew him too well, you supposed, and that made you want to smile even more.

"the lotus are pretty." he says, breaking you out of your thoughts.

you stare at him, incredulous.

that flower wasn't in the book he'd lent from Armin. it was in a book your father lent you back in Shinghanshina, which you had inevitably ranted to about Jean, noting all the flowers to him before you forgot about the contents of the book and how your father would sit you near his desk and tell you all about them.

your mouth parted.

that meant.... jean remembered?

hearing the silence, jean feared the worst. he had embarassed himself again, made a fool of himself over a plant all over again, just because he wanted to impress you. he couldn't help it, though, he just blurted it out without really thinking about it. he remembered you telling him about the delicate flowers, gesturing wildly with your hands to make him grasp a visual of the plant. he remenbered you telling him that your father promised he'd take you to a place that grew them one day, but never did.

jean turned his head to you.

to his surprise, though, he didn't find you laughing at his face like last time. you looked...stunned, if anything. normally, a reaction like this from anyone else would make jean say something cocky, like 'did i make you speechless?' or 'cat got your tongue?' because he'd know he was right, but now, with you, he could only hope he was.

you blinked, "uh..yeah. lotus. they grow in-"

"ponds or flooded areas," the two of you say at the same time.

you blink again. he did remember.

you can't control the smile, now. jean smiles back at you, keeping his gaze fixed to yours for a couple seconds.

jean could be good at botany if he tried, you think, and you wonder if he'd help out in your little fantasy of owning a flower shop. you wonder if he'd guide the customers, helping them buy flowers for their anniversaries, birthdays, marriages, or just for everyday occassions like tou wanted to. you wonder if you would brew him some tea before you opened the store for the day.

you sucked in a breath. that was enough for now. the rest would be thought out at night, if your mind would allow it.

"right...so... we should start studying, yeah?" you say, your voice wavering slightly.

jean clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck before nodding.

"yeah. yeah we should."

--

[nixie-writes-aot]

From Darkness We Flee

Chapter Three: It's Just Paranoia

Warnings: canon compliant angst, paranoia, oc x canon

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Zakai Eriko, Bertholdt Hoover x Zakai Eriko, Reiner Braun x Bertholdt Hoover

Author’s Note: No, neither Reiner or Bertholdt are stalking Zakai. Stating that outright jdghjgd. More is explained in the next chapter(and yes this one IS fairly short)

Word Count: 1.3k

The brunette laid against a tree, the shade of its leaves protecting Zakai from the hot summer heat beating down. Yet even with that, the dryness and the heat still got to her. Sweat dripped down her arms, now bare with her jacket in her lap. The turtle neck she wore was tight against her skin and sleeveless to boot. Her shoulders, biceps, and forearms splattered with a constellation of dark brown, almost black, freckles. Unlike Ymir and Marco, both of which only seemed to have a handful of freckles spread across their faces. Zakai stared up at the obscured sky, gazing at how the tree's leaves were a lush, vibrant green from the seasonal shift between spring and summer. Branches twisted and firm, the bark a deep brown. Zakai let out a sigh, muscles relaxed and breathing calm. It was a fine afternoon, honestly. Yet something was still bugging her. It went past just sitting there and sorting herself to get her head in the game, to move forward. This was a stop, wasn’t it? A break? Wasn’t that what Zakai had been fighting since that day? Zakai closed her eyes, feeling a breeze rush past. When was the last time she felt like this?

Zakai didn’t know. How could she? Her world had been flipped upside down twice in her life. Moments when uncertainty, doubt, and fear flooded her every sense. What would her mother say? What would Nathalie say? Zakai couldn’t know that. No, things had moved too quickly for that. Zakai, instead, would just continue moving forward. She had to. Didn’t she? What would happen if she stopped running and stood still? Zakai didn’t know the answer. A lot of her questions remained with no answer, not a very solid one at the very least. Zakai inhaled deeply, exhaling softly. She had no idea what to do except fight. Zakai had to fight. Yet was it really so selfish to want to dream of a better tomorrow? To wish to be able to lay down under a tree, the sun shining above with no need or want to move forever onwards? 

Zakai furrowed her brows, stop thinking like a coward, she mentally chastised herself. 

Guilt wormed itself inside her mind again, chiding and scolding as Zakai shoved that thought down again and again. Only a cadet or not, war was no place to think of such fallacies. The fallacy such as being able to leave a peaceful, still life within the walls like so many believed just two years ago. No, that fallacy would only lead to Zakai’s eventual death. Maybe murder. Zakai had to survive, she had to push onwards. It was the promise she had made that day. Zakai would never let herself weaken or slow, she didn’t care what refusing that would do to her. She just didn’t care. That was what Zakai convinced herself, opening her eyes and grabbing her jacket, rising to her feet. Zakai tugged the jacket on, pushing her arms through the sleeves and hiding most of her freckles from view. Except the ones that were scattered across her face and the ones down her arms, almost at her hands. She ran her fingers through her bangs, grunting in annoyance at the resistance of the lightly tangled brown locks. All the same, Zakai departed from that tree. She was certain that she was fine now, that nothing nor no one could get to her. Not even Ymir with her staring problem. Zakai was sure of herself, the doubt was gone. Zakai was certain of that. She had nothing to fear. Wasn’t that right? The brunette’s every step towards the training grounds put her on edge despite her own self reassurances. Zakai shook her head, refusing to buckle just because of one confrontational cadet. Zakai was strong, stronger than Ymir. This much, she was certain of as she passed every tree. Nothing was wrong, Zakai was fine. Everything was fine, perfectly fine. Zakai was certain. Zakai had to be. What would ever be wrong? Yet her breathing grew sharper, muscles tensing as she stepped away from the treeline. What was wrong? What could’ve been wrong? Zakai’s eyes darted around, as if the commandant would come down from nowhere and scream at her like he had Sasha. 

Zakai’s mind had shifted away from Nathalie yet… Was this better? The feeling of being watched, eyes narrowed as she was looking for whoever was just watching. Was this how others felt with her? No, surely not. Zakai was crafty, sneaky. Zakai was subtle. This was all but slamming her into the ground, a fist around her heart and screaming ill intentions into her ears. Zakai couldn’t even be sure this was Ymir. Was it? If not her then who? Was it someone who knew her parents? Had they finally come for her too? Zakai shook her head. 

“No…” she whispered, “Don’t be absurd, they’d never come here.” 

Zakai’s words were reassuring, if nothing else. Calming, even. She took her words as fact, dismissing the feeling. “Paranoia. You’re paranoid. That's it.” Zakai murmured to herself. 

Yet the anxiety was unwavering. Zakai could hear her heart in her head, the pounding causing a distinct throb to swell up and steal away her focus. Zakai crossed the training grounds, noting that no one was there. Not anymore, the chill of the evening started to sink into her bones even as the heat was still persistent. Zakai didn’t care anymore, they could eat dinner without her. She wasn’t hungry and she wasn’t there to make friends. It was high time Zakai remembered her purpose. So, she swung open the door to the barracks. For once, it felt peaceful. That paranoia fading to the back of her mind, mind calm and still like the night. Yet the feeling wouldn’t completely go away. Would it ever? Zakai didn’t even bother with much more than taking off her boots and laying down. 

Sleep never came easily anymore. 

It was days of this, an ever building sense of dread and paranoia. Never knowing what was happening, who was around the corner. Days overflowed into a week. A week of Zakai watching the beginning of training with the ODM gear. Teaching how to operate, repair, and manage this gear. A week of fear, a week of low marks. A week of disappointment. It built and built, no reprieve. What was even happening? What was wrong? Zakai couldn’t help but question silently if Nathalie was to blame. Was it guilt? Zakai wasn’t talking or socializing, she wasn’t there to make friends. Zakai couldn’t trust them. She doubted any of them even noticed. Zakai would eat with them, shower with them, train with them. Albeit, the training had all been either learning about the titans or the ODM gear. Finally, finally it was different. Zakai felt at ease, finally. It had been a week. Zakai stood around, all of them waiting for their respective sparring partners to be assigned. Although, Zakai hardly cared. She was tired. She was always tired. 

Zakai sat down, muttering for Eren to, “Tell whoever ends up fighting me to just seek me out.” Both of them were off to the side, by the treeline. The brunette looked to her, she could see the hesitance in his eyes. Eren didn’t know her, not really. So, for him to show any concern was laughable. Zakai didn’t at all think it whatsoever possible that he could be concerned about her isolation. 

“Alright.” Eren agreed, walking away towards the charts where Shadis had it announced. 

Zakai didn’t care enough to try and worm her way with how many there were. In fact, after seeing Jean and Marco depart, alongside Mikasa and Sasha. She closed her eyes, letting herself just enjoy the peace. Zakai had noticed that Eren seemed friendly enough, he probably even knew whoever Shadis thought to match up against her for a first round. She knew he’d be watching and that's what she counted on. There was a slight breeze, blowing through her hair. Zakai heard steps approach, not even caring to open her eyes. What was the point until they properly greeted her? Maybe it would be Daz or Floch, even Samuel. Those that Eren seemed to talk with, among others. Yet Zakai heard nothing, just a low sigh. Driven by her interest at who actually was just blatantly staring, she opened her eyes. The sight before her had her face paling, eyes widening as she took in every detail. That feeling of fear tightened around her throat, around her heart. Zakai felt cold yet validated. His hand was outstretched towards her, pale green eyes peering down and a frown on his face. Zakai had garnered a reputation among the 104th for being particularly aware yet apathetic to much of their infighting, particularly Eren and Jean. Yet when she moved, it was to slap the cadet’s hand away and stand. Zakai was frozen still, muscles tense as she took in his appearance. She knew who it was. Of course she knew. The cadet withdrew his hand, gazing downwards and no longer meeting her glare. Neither spoke for a good few moments then Zakai did, voice firm and almost bitter.

“Bertholdt.”

[first] - [previous] - [next]

[starfirette]

I just sent a ship lmao I’m the anon that said I’d been following u since BoP came out!! I forgot to ask if u could ship me w an AoT guy!! And my pronouns are she/her! Ok I’m done sorry for leaving that out!! ♥️

I hope you saw your ship, wherever you are! You are on the ship masterlist as Brown Eyes x Reiner ❤️

[anniemika]

You could’ve just asked

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

NSFW CONTENT!

Summary: When you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t pay you enough attention, you decide to try and gain it in riskier ways, that end up with you getting even more than you initially wanted. 

Or

You annoy Eren so much he fucks you dumb. 

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: ROUGH SEX, penetrative sex, impact play (spanking), slight degradation, dirty talk, dub-con (i mean not really), choking, cursing, Eren is a meanie 

.....

“I don’t want to go home!”

You saw your boyfriend stop in his tracks, turning his face halfway to give you a warning look. His hold on your wrist was firm, not hurting you, but strong enough to make you feel his vexation.

“We’re going.” He calmly said, but you knew him enough to know that behind that calmness was a wild animal just waiting to be released.

“I don’t wanna!” The childish tone you used made him roll his eyes, forcing him to face you fully.

“I don’t care. You’re drunk.”

“And you’re no fun!” You said, pouting and freeing yourself from his grasp to cross your arms together.

Truth be told, you were a real pain throughout the whole night. From the moment you stepped foot at the party, it was like you were consciously trying your best to get on his nerves. From the way you provocatively danced with Sasha, letting her pour vodka into your mouth that streamed down your chest and wetted your already tight dress, to the way you slightly brushed your shoulder against Reiner, whose gaze was on all the places he wasn’t supposed to look at, to the way you french-kissed Ymir on a dare, making all the men’s jaws drop right on the floor. And all that, without glancing at him even once. Well, he did catch your eyes one time, and that was right after Sasha fed you a strawberry covered in whipped cream, with you licking it off before taking a bite. That scene alone made him stretch the upper part of his pants, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, you were doing this on purpose and Eren knew it.

If he had to be completely honest though, he knew this was kind of his fault. He’d spent the last two weeks studying for his finals and playing video games with his friends, not paying you the attention you were used to. And because you were a spoiled little girl, you were used to a lot of it. It wasn’t that bad of course, it just wasn’t him fucking you into the mattress 3 times a day like he did every single day since you guys got together. And you were not having it.

So, when you got invited to Reiner’s party, you decided it was time for punishment. You put on your favourite black mini dress, tied your hair in a tight ponytail, and slipped these insanely high high-heels that made your legs look even longer than they already were. You looked fucking gorgeous, and that was further confirmed when your boyfriend saw you in your full glory as you were fixing your make-up in front of your bathroom mirror. He was talking on his phone, absolutely unaware of your presence until his eyes landed on you and his words died on his tongue. The way you dabbed lip gloss on your plump lips while your hips swayed to the sound of the music that played from your phone, the little thing you called a dress hugging every little curve of your delicate body so perfectly, made him want to forget all about the stupid party and bend you over the sink. When he came and wrapped his arms around you from behind, whispering how breathtaking you looked while laying soft kisses on your shoulders, you almost gave in to his advances. It didn’t help that your boyfriend was the most attractive man you’d ever seen too, walking around the apartment with only his sweatpants on, his toned abs on full display, and his chocolaty brown hair loose from his usual bun. But, when you broke away from his grasp so nonchalantly, leaving him staring at you with the most starving eyes, you didn’t expect it to feel that good. You liked the begging look in his eyes and wanted to make it last as long as possible.

So, it came as no surprise to you when he basically dragged you out of the party, not waving even a hand goodbye to the rest of your friends. You wouldn’t let it show but you were so pleased with yourself, and even though you were giving him a hard time, his reaction was exactly what you wanted.

You were stomping on your feet like a child, continuing to play with his nerves as he grabbed you by your waist and pinned you against the entrance door you’d just exited.

“What were you trying to do in there, huh?” He moved his hands from your body to put them on either sides of you on the door, caging you between them. His face was just inches away from yours, and you could smell his woody cologne, the one that made your knees weak.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You quietly said, your eyes peering at him oh-so-innocently.

“Oh?” He looked you straight in the eyes, his gaze piercing through you. “So you weren’t trying to rile me up all night?” His tone was still calm, but the intensity of his stare made you gulp, realizing that maybe you really did cross the line a little.

“O-of course not!” Your voice cracked a bit, still trying to maintain the I-didn’t-just-try-to-piss-you-off-cause-we-haven’t-fucked-in-two-days attitude.

Eren took a deep sigh, staring into your lustrous eyes. You were biting your lower lip as you admired the gorgeous man before you. Even when he had his brows furrowed in annoyance, he still looked like a work of art. His chiseled jaw, his beautiful hair that was now tightly tied in a low bun with just a few strands framing his face, and those eyes.. the most mesmerizing eyes. You’d never seen a colour like that before, they almost looked like they were animated. The green in his irises changed colour according to the light, and sometimes they’d seem turquoise, sometimes a deep, emerald green. They were so magnetic, making you lose yourself in them every time you looked at him.

Eren noticed your star-struck gaze, and you swore you could see his lips curve upwards just slightly. Then, all signs of the little smirk disappeared, and his tone became stern.

“We’re going home.” You knew there was no disputing after this, so you slowly nodded your head while he retracted his hands from the wall, moving from your space so you could walk in front of him.

.....

You were sulking.

Your plan had completely backfired in your mind. You were sitting at the back of the taxi Eren had ordered for the both of you, with him sitting in the passenger seat, completely ignoring you throughout the whole ride. Usually, he’d be in the backseat and make out with you, touch you, basically have his hands on you, but now, he wasn’t even sparing a glance your way and you were beginning to get mad.

When you arrived at your apartment complex, you basically ran out of the taxi, slamming the poor man’s door in the process. You faintly heard Eren apologizing on your behalf, while you walked with the quickest pace possible towards your building’s entrance. You decided to walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, taking your frustration out by stomping on your heels. You heard Eren walking behind you, and when you opened the door to your apartment, you almost shut it in his face. You didn’t even make one step before you were pressed against the wall again.

“You wanna test my patience that bad?”

“Leave me alone, Eren.” You were on the verge of crying, your lower lip quivering as you were trying to free yourself from his hold. He wanted to roll his eyes from your dramatic act, but he had other things on his mind to do first.

Before you knew it, you were upside down being carried on his shoulder to your shared bedroom.

“Let go!” You started wiggling around trying to get down, but it was all effortless given how strong he was. His hand had a firm grip on your ass, and when you felt the familiar feeling of your bed’s sheets underneath you, your stare landed on Eren, who was towering above you.

He locked his fiery eyes with yours, while his hands went to remove his belt slowly. You were watching him the whole time with parted lips, sitting on the edge of the bed, not knowing what was going through his mind. One thing you did know, however, was that you were sure going to get something in return for the way you’d been behaving the entire night.

When he was done, he stretched the long piece of clothing in front of your face.

“Your hands.”

The simple sentence sent shivers down your spine, and you stayed frozen for a second trying to process it.

“I said, your hands.” Eren repeated, his voice stern and a little impatient.

You blinked at him a few times before slowly stretching your hands for him to tie them up. A certain feeling bubbled up inside you at the image of him twisting the belt around your delicate wrists, and you didn’t know if it was excitement or intimidation, or maybe even both, but you liked it.

“Is this too tight?” He asked, pulling one side of the belt harder.

“A little.”

“How about now?” He pulled the garment so hard you couldn’t keep in the yelp that came out of your mouth.

“I-it’s too tight..”

“Yeah?” He mockingly retorted, and before you could say anything back, he grabbed you and switched positions so he could be the one sitting down and you standing up.

“On your stomach.” He tapped his thigh twice, expectantly waiting for your tipsy self to realize what was going to happen. You swallowed thickly and moved a little bit to one side of his legs, while he held the edge of the belt with one hand. Then, you bent over slightly, your voluptuous ass slipping from the tiny dress you had on, making Eren tilt his head to get a better view. You bent over a little more so you could lay on his lap, his rough hand already finding its place on the spot connecting your ass and your thighs. He then roughly pulled on the belt, making you arch your back and bring your naked ass up.

“You know what’s next, right?” His tone didn’t change much, still maintaining its seriousness, but you caught the slight cheekiness in it too. You gulped, turning your head to look at his haughty expression.

“You better start counting, baby.”

And before you knew it, you felt a hard smack across your plump ass, one that was sure to sober you up. You whined and closed your eyes shut, feeling your arousal flood your panties.

“Count.”

He did it again, this time even harder than the previous one.

“O-one.”

“That was two, dumb-dumb.”

He landed one more, with the same force he did the last one.

“Three.”

Another one.

“Four.”

And another one.

“F-five.”

And another particularly hard one.

“Agh- s-six.” You were beginning to stutter from the mix of the pain and the pleasure he inflicted upon you, your body trembling from every hit of his huge palm. It was so intense, he’d never been so rough with you before, and you didn’t know why it excited you so damn much, but you felt the adrenaline rush right through you.

“Did you like making me so fucking hard while you bounced around with that pathetic little dress?”

Smack.

“N-no-“

Smack.

You let out a sharp “ah”, your tied hands clutching to the soft fabric of the bedsheets beneath you.

“Did I say stop counting?”

Smack.

“I lost count..” you answered quietly, sounding so strained you couldn’t even recognize your own voice. You bit your lower lip, you knew you should have at least come up with some number, but you were too horny to even think about that. Eren almost felt bad for you because you were so freaking cute, voice so timid and soft, cracking every now and then like you were about to cry. He was sure he would see little tears prickling your eyes if he was to catch a glimpse of your face, so he decided to do just that.

You felt his hand raise from your body and your muscles tensed, expecting another hard slap on your already abused ass, but then you felt him yank you by your ponytail, bringing your face close to his.

“Did you enjoy making those other guys hard too?” He asked so sweetly, like he was asking you if you wanted him to buy you your favourite ice cream, but one look at his intense eyes was enough to erase all the sweetness his voice provided.

“No, I only did it for you!” The way you said it sounded so desperate, your tone trying to convey the absolute shock his assumption arose in you.

“Ah” he craned his neck back and let out a dark chuckle, “so you were doing it on purpose.”

It was so obvious, it wasn’t like he needed you to confirm it to him, but he enjoyed the way your eyes widened, any words you might have wanted to say immediately dying on your tongue. He knew you were head-over-heels for him and only him, but you did need to be taught a lesson for all the torture you put him through that night.

“I- uhm, no, I didn’t mean-“

Smack.

“Fuck!” You cried, his slaps were becoming harder and harder and with every next hit of his palm, you felt your clit rub against the fabric of his jeans and it felt so fucking good, your brain was turning into mush.

“I want you to tell me why you did it.”

“I-I don’t know-“ you felt the burning sensation again. “Ah!”

“The truth.”

You couldn’t go on any longer, you were too turned on and your ass was turning numb from all the spanking.

“Okay, fine! I did it on purpose..” at that, he stopped all movement, carefully waiting for you to continue. “It’s just, you haven’t been paying much attention to me lately, and I.. I missed you, ‘Ren.”

Eren’s heart literally melted at your words and the way you said them. You could turn him into goo just by saying that damn nickname with that innocent voice and make him do whatever the hell you wanted. But tonight was going to be different, and no matter how much you tried to play on his heartstrings, things were going to happen his way.

“Oh, poor baby.” He cooed, his tone the perfect mix of mocking and sweet. He gently loosened his grip on your hair, his fingers tracing the outlines of your thong. Then, he hooked one finger under the fabric, pulling slightly so he could catch a glimpse of your pussy, the sight making his mouth water.

“Your panties are soaked.”

His assessment made your blood go to your cheeks, and even though he’d seen you naked hundreds of times, this time something was different. He made you anxious.

“Up.” He landed one last slap on your ass, this time way gentler than the rest, and helped you get up, with your dress fetched above your stomach and your hands still firmly tied. You watched as he snuck one hand around your waist, and then swiftly turned you around and pressed your back down with his palm.

“On the bed.”

You obeyed his command without a second thought and clumsily climbed on your bed, with him putting his knee between your legs so they would stay apart. He then pressed his palm on your back with more force, your cheek making contact with the silky sheets. Your arms were stretched in front of you and your back was arched, ass between his hands as he admired the work of art he’d created, cheeks all red and plump, just waiting to be split open.

“You know what you looked like tonight, baby?” He asked, his hands massaging your ass cheeks, thumbs dangerously close to where you most desired him. He leaned down, one hand going to your neck, his mouth closing in on your ear. “Like a bitch in heat.”

You felt Eren move your thong’s string to the side, his thumb entering your leaking cunt. You took a sharp breath in, mouth falling agape as he squeezed your throat just the way you liked it, while his thumb circled around your plush walls.

“Just begging to get fucked.” He continued whispering in your ear, knowing his words would only contribute to your already euphoric state.

He started pumping the digit in and out of you slowly, while his other hand moved from your throat to your jaw, applying pressure until your cheeks and lips were squished. He leaned a bit more until he could see your pleasure-written face, your eyebrows scrunched and eyes full with lust, and then started picking up pace, moving his hand faster and faster until you couldn’t keep in the lewd sounds that came out of your mouth.

“Look at you, love. Moaning like that just from my thumb.” Eren slowed down until his hand stopped moving, letting out a laugh when you unintentionally whined from the loss of touch. “What would happen if I do this?” You stared at him, your eyes ready to pop as his middle and ring finger entered you at once, picking up speed as soon as he felt your slick walls. He wasted no time, his fingers curling at the end and reaching your g-spot almost instantly.

His hand was still firmly griping your jaw, while your whimpering and the filthy sounds from the motion of his fingers inside your dripping cunt filled the room. The up-and-down movements of his hand and the vigorous pace transported you to another planet, wiping your mind from any adequate thoughts, and reducing you to a babbling mess.

“Do you hear that?” A sinister chuckle escaped him. “Have you ever been this wet?”

There was no way you could answer him because before long, you started to feel an unfamiliar feeling in your lower belly, one that made your whole body shudder.

“Ere-“ you tried, but his hand was still cupping your jaw too tightly for you to actually speak.

“What is it, baby?” He loosened his grip just a tad bit.

“I feel weird.” You spoke as if you had run a thousand miles, loud moans escaping your mouth with each word.

“Does it feel good?”

“Ye- yeah.” You squeezed your eyes shut as the sensation came closer and closer. “Eren, I’m-“

The cry that came out of you as you came all over his hand was one you were sure was heard at least 5 miles from where you lived, because the newfound sensation of release hit you like a hurricane five, moving through your whole body and ending with you a collapsed, unmoving mess of limbs on your bed. When you began to come back to your senses, you felt Eren stroking your back as he stood behind you.

“Baby” the gentle voice made you open your eyes, a hand moving to one side of your face and tilting it slightly so you could look at him “you just squirted all over my hand.”

When the sentence registered, your eyes flickered behind you and what you saw was a big, wet patch splayed all over your sheets. Everything was moving in slow motion for you from how strong your orgasm was, and you still weren’t able to form coherent words, so when you found yourself on your back with your dress off and your wrists tied to the headboard, you could only stare at the arousing sight before you.

Eren was elated. The scene he just witnessed was the hottest thing he’d ever seen and it almost made him cum on the spot, the mere thought that he was the reason for you losing your mind and squirting for the first time bringing him an insane amount of joy and accomplishment. It also kind of made him lose his own mind though because his attempt at “torturing” you ended up with him on top of your naked body, cock deep inside your tight pussy as he let out profanity after profanity spill from his mouth.

“You like being treated like this?” He cupped your jaw, his hot breath against your lips as he pounded into you. “Like a filthy little slut?”

He gave one of your bouncing tits a hard slap, and you yelped into his mouth as he smashed his lips against yours.

“I should have fucking known.” He stood on his knees with your calves on either sides of his shoulders, his hips slamming into you and hitting your g-spot again and again until your brain couldn’t even register the dirty things he was saying to you. All you managed to do was gape at him and his sweat-covered body, muscles tensing with every movement, his silky brunette hair loose from his bun and falling beautifully on his shoulders, the sight turning you on even more because he truly was the sexiest man alive. And he was all yours, fucking you so ruthlessly someone might think he hated you, even though you knew that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Ereh” you managed to choke out “I-I feel it again.”

“Fuck.” Eren craned his neck back, feeling your walls clenching around him, so he swiftly pulled out and untied your wrists.

“Eren, I was so close-“ he gave you an assertive kiss, and then quickly turned you around and took the belt in his hands, wrapping it around your throat.

“You know the safe word, right?” He gently asked, kissing your red cheek as you nodded your head. He buckled the garment, slowly tightening it around your neck as his cock entered you again. Your body felt like it was on fire, every sensation you felt heightened by tenfold, and it was so freaking exhilarating, it kinda made you feel like him not paying attention to you the past few weeks wasn’t that bad. Not that you weren’t ready to pout about it if it ever happened again, but right now, Eren was fucking you like a beast, giving you exactly what you wanted and deserved, so there were absolutely no complaints there.

He rammed his hips into you from behind at a relatively quick pace, while his hand was pulling on the edge of the belt, your neck craning back because of it. Then, he leaned downwards and pinned your back down with his hand, making your ass stay up and your whole upper body down on the mattress. You choked out a high-pitched moan from the new position, feeling his dick so deep inside you, it felt like he was basically piercing through you. After a few seconds, it dawned on you exactly why he bend you over like that, because that exact position was the perfect position to make you lose yourself again, and soon you felt it coming, this time even more intensely.

“Mmgh” your words were muffled, head buried into your pillow.

You felt Eren tug on the belt, pulling your head from the soft fabric.

“Did you say something?” You heard his sultry voice “I can’t hear you.”

“I’m cl-ose.” It still sounded so strained, the choking from the belt playing tricks on your vocal cords.

He then pulled even harder, bending over you while the moving of his hips never halted. “Come again?”

“I-I’m close-agh” you felt two long fingers inside your mouth, stopping you from continuing your pathetic attempt at talking.

“Shh, I know baby girl .” He began thrusting into you at a brutal speed. “I know.”

It was as if you were on the edge of something, something so powerful you couldn’t even think straight, and it was so frustrating because it felt so fucking amazing, but at the same time, you couldn’t hold on any longer. So, when Eren tugged on the belt even more, curving your back to the point where he slammed his cock into places he’d never reached before, you started to come undone.

“I feel it, I feel it, I feel i-“ you gasped, legs trembling and cunt contracting around his length as your orgasm hit you, wiping and muffling any image or sound, your juices splaying all around Eren’s cock.

“Shit, shit, you fucking dirty girl, come on” he hit your ass as hard as he could. “Fuck, I’m cumming.”

And then, you felt it. His big, hard cock shooting his load into your messy hole, while your body was already too tired to even hold itself. He circled his arms around your tits, letting go of the belt as his orgasm washed over, hips progressively slowing down until he stopped moving, his head glued to the back of your neck. You felt his breath on your skin, while you both tried to collect yourselves from how intense the whole thing was.  

“Shit.” Eren uttered after some time, and you gathered the strength to let out a weak chuckle.

He slowly weakened his hold around you, placing a wet kiss on your shoulder. You both toppled over and crashed your tired bodies on the bed, arms wrapped around each other, sharing lazy kisses. You were beginning to doze off before you heard Eren call out your name.

“Mm?” Your eyes fluttered open, searching for his face.

“Next time you want me to fuck you like this, just ask, okay? Don’t make me go crazy like tonight.” He caressed your cheek. “I could’ve fucking killed those guys back there.”

You obediently nodded your head, and he laughed, giving you a peck on the lips in return.

“And I won’t slack off again. I promise.” He kept caressing your face lovingly. “You sure you can keep up, though?”

You swallowed, feeling the soreness of your body already catching up with you. Eren noticed your slightly taken aback expression, and chuckled.

“We’ll train you, baby. Don’t worry.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “Besides, you’re such a good and obedient girl. It won’t be hard.” He slipped his tongue inside your hot mouth, making your cheeks burn.

Well, you did ask for it. And from now on, he was going to make absolutely sure you got it.

.....

A/N:  I couldn’t get Mikasa out of my mind while writing this. Anyways, dunno what else to say about this little dream of mine. Love you, bye<3

[lovelywritinglady]

Welcome to my page!💜

My content is generally best read in dark mode. Thank you for reading!💜💜

Follow my second account if you love poetry💜 @braindeadpoet20

Requests Are: Open

Click HERE to see the fandoms I’ll write for as well as my rules for requests💜

|Anime Fics|

Jujutsu Kaisen-

•Gojo Satoru

“I have And Always Will, Love You”

“His Eyes” (Image)

“Late Night Drive With Gojo”

“Be Okay” (Part 1 ) (Part 2) (Part 3)

“Bath Sex” 18+

“What’s he like?” (Image)

“Beach Days”

“Slow Down” 18+

•Toji Fushiguro

“What If?”

“Knowing Him”

“Bloody Lover” 18+

“Gun Practice

•Nanami Kento

“My Girl”

“More” 18+

“Time Spent Sweetly” (Image)

“Malaysia”

“His Maid”

•Megumi Fushiguro

“This Is What You’ve Gotta Do”(Part 1) (Part2)

•Suguru Geto

“Forget” (Part 1) (Part 2) (Hiatus)

“Braiding His Hair”(Image)

************************************

Hunter x Hunter-

•Hisoka Morrow

“Why?” (Part 1) (Part 2)

“Carnival” (Image)

“Slutty Showers” 18+

************************************

Attack On Titan-

•Erwin Smith

“Riding Horses” (Image)

“Why Do You Care Now?”

•Eren Jeager

“Gone”

•Reiner Braun

“Strangers” (Part 1) (Part 2)

************************************

Demon Slayer-

•Tengen Uzui /His Wives

“Flamboyant Past Lovers”

“You’re What?”

“Miscarry”

“Flashy Mama”

“Another One?”

“It’s Gonna Be Okay”

“Mistakes”

“We’ll Take Care Of You”

“You’re Not A Burden”

“Demons Love”

•Kyojuro Rengoku

“Flamboyant Past Lovers”

Rei, My Sister (OC)

•Muzan Kibutsuji

“Rarities”

“Art Eater”

“Women Do It Better”

“Date With Muzan”

“Yes Dear”

•Rui(Spider Demon)

“Big Sister”

•Sanemi Shinazugawa 

Injured Hubby

Gyomei Himejima

Strength and Weakness

************************************

One Piece-

•Sir Crocodile

“Smokin With A Crocodile”

“Crocodile Tears” (Part 1) (Part 2) part 3 coming soon…

•Kaku

“Flying Man”

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D. Gray-Man-

“Reaction To A Mythical Creature”(HC)

|Live Action/Animated Fics|

House of The Dragon-

•Aemond Targaryen

“First Flight”

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Marvel-

•Bucky Barnes

“Forgiveness” (Part 1) (Part 2)

•Hobie Brown

“Who Needs Words Anyway?”

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DC-

•Poison Ivy

“Poisonous Passion” 18+

*************************************************

Supernatural -

•Sam Winchester

“Secrets Suck, Man”

[b3-with-you]

as beautiful as ever

Pairing: Reiner Braun x fem!reader

Summary: With Hange’s plan to team up with a group of Marleyans, y/n is forced to meet up with an old friend- Reiner Braun- who for some reason, just won’t stop staring at her.

Warnings: season 4 spoilers; angst; mentions of death, depression(?); part 1/?

Word Count: 1k+

masterlist.

pt. 2

This is a bad idea.

Over and over again, that one thought raced through y/n’s mind- a nonstop current of anxiety and nerves. y/n tightened her grip on her sword, her body tensing with each step. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, her jaw clenching and unclenching.

“You don’t have to go.”

y/n turned her head towards the voice and was met with Mikasa’s soft eyes. She would always be eternally grateful for the woman next to her. The two had been taking care of each other since they were cadets, and as usual, Mikasa knew exactly what was on y/n’s mind.

“Yeah, I do,” y/n grimaced, her lips slightly turning to give Mikasa a sad smile. 

Pulling away from her gaze, y/n looked ahead to the others in front of her. They were trailing behind Armin and Annie, who very obviously had some sort of tension going on between them. Connie was slightly ahead of the group, keeping an eye on Gabi and Falco. They were on their way to find Reiner Braun, the man who completely shattered y/n’s heart.

It was stupid. The way she cared about him. It’s not like they ever dated or kissed or even told each other how they felt. In fact, nothing ever even happened between the two. They were comrades, two soldiers on a battlefield. Friends who so desperately wanted to become more. But they never did. Never even had a chance to. So how, y/n thought, how in the world could you lose someone that was never really yours? And why the hell did it hurt so much?

“This one!” Gabi ran inside one of the abandoned houses, Falco following behind her.

Approaching the building, y/n and Mikasa were the last to go through the door, with y/n silently preparing herself for the sight of the man she once called her best friend. As they stepped inside, Reiner’s sleeping body came into view, immediately stopping y/n in her tracks as her fists curled at her sides. Staring wide eyed at the blonde man, she could feel the tears pricking her eyes and her breathing getting shallower. Noticing y/n’s reaction, Mikasa softly bumped her shoulder to walk past her, subtly breaking y/n out of her trance. Snapping back into reality, y/n blinked away her tears. She was not going to let him control her like that. He didn’t deserve that power and he sure as hell wasn’t worth the tears.

Crossing her arms, she watched as Annie kicked him in the face, stirring him awake. Startled, he looked around, gasping in surprise at the sight of his old friend. Becoming aware of his surroundings, his gaze immediately traveled to the rest of the scouts until it eventually landed on y/n. His eyes widened in shock, a look of pure disbelief on his face. y/n.

She was as beautiful as ever. The wisp of her hair, the e/c of her eyes. He had almost forgotten what she looked like, the memories of her slowly fading from his mind. He hasn’t been able to see her face clearly since...since he attacked her in Shiganshina.

She looked different than he remembered. Her hair was shorter and her eyes were darker, as if someone had snuffed the light out. As if he had snuffed the light out. Reiner’s heart sunk at the thought. Of course it was his fault, he had caused her- them- so much pain, so much death. He was surprised he hadn’t been attacked yet.

The more Reiner stared, the angrier y/n got. Stop. Stop looking at me like that. She wanted to scream at him, stab him, rip his face off. She wanted to make him feel what she felt. Four years. Four years of healing and forgetting all tossed down the drain at the sight of his face, his hair, his body, his eyes. Those stupid, beautiful hazel brown eyes.

She hated him. She hated him for making her feel this way. The push and pull of hatred and love. Her head and her heart. She hated him because even after all the pain and killing and betrayal, there was still a sliver in her that cared.

“We don’t have time, let’s go,” Connie urged, causing Reiner to break eye contact.

“To where?”

“To save the world.”

─────

The ride to the woods was quiet for the most part. Gabi and Falco had tried updating Reiner on everything that he missed, the older man occasionally nodding and giving them murmurs of agreement. However, despite their efforts, he was more focused on the girl across from him, his gaze lingering on y/n the whole time.

She had tried not to notice him, keeping her eyes on the ground or the sky or just anywhere that wasn’t Reiner. She didn’t really care at first, but as time went on, the more annoyed she got with his burning gaze.

“Will you stop staring?” y/n asked, finally turning to face Reiner. “You’ve been doing it since the house, it’s getting annoying. If you want to stare at someone, stare at Connie.”

Connie looked up at the mention of his name, his face scrunching up in confusion. Under y/n’s gaze, Reiner finally turned away from her and focused his eyes on the wooden floor of the cart.

If the mood hadn’t been so tense, Reiner would’ve smiled. After everything, she was still the same old y/n- snarky and humorous and not afraid to speak up. It comforted him in a way. The fact that even after the suffering and misery, she hadn’t lost the parts that made her her. She wasn’t like him. She knew exactly who she was and for some God awful reason, it just made him love admire her more.

After that, Reiner didn’t even dare glance at her. He knew he passed his limit, examining every inch of her face. The shapes, the changes, everything that he thought he forgot. The angles of her jawline; the marks on her skin; the shadows of her face. He wanted to ingrain it in his head, replacing the once youthful and innocent face he knew with something much stronger. Much colder.

He wanted to remember her. Up until his last breath, he wanted to remember her. Every intricately sculpted detail, every perfectly alluring flaw. He didn’t want to lose her. Not again.

But he also knew how much he had hurt her, how much pain he had caused. So for now, this was enough. A picture painted in his mind of a girl in a wagon, her face stern and bitter. A face full of experience and knowledge and suffering.

Yet still as beautiful as ever.

[roseofdarknessblog]

A Work in Progress (Reiner Braun x Marleyan!Reader)

Word count: 2 630

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: Finding peace after the Rumbling became a pretty big challenge for you and Reiner. Shadows of the past chased you both even after moving away from Marley and starting over somewhere new. 

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: House by the ocean

A Work in Progress

Some nights ended without you getting even a single ounce of sleep. All you did, was toss and turn around until you couldn’t take it anymore and you had to get up to get some water or just stretch your legs. In those cases, you always spent a few minutes at the kitchen window or even in the garden. Watching the calm ocean waters – every single wave, which found its way to the shore, always helped you calm down and return to bed with a clearer mind.

It was much worse when you were awoken by Reiner. Mostly when he had another nasty and horrifying nightmare, which sometimes made him scream at the top of his lungs or even cry. It wasn’t unusual that he woke up in a cold sweat almost immediately trying to chase away the panic and anxiety.

This night was a merciless combination of both.

You were the first to wake up after you had another bad dream about everything that happened a few months back. It felt like you were back there... on the edge of the cliff at Fort Salta, watching as the Founding Titan and his army of Titans got closer and closer. You could hear yourself scream at Reiner when he and others from Paradis came to rescue you all.

However this time, they were too late. They couldn’t stop Eren in time. He got so close, that you could see his eyes and all the hatred towards people like you in them. You woke up just a second before the Founding Titan craned his neck, looked you over, and swallowed you whole.

„There you are,“ Reiner said, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. You could see in his expression, that he woke up just a couple of minutes ago. He never liked to lay around, when you weren’t next to him and he didn’t get the chance to cuddle up to you. „I thought you would be still asleep. After I...“ he trailed off, looking at the tiny feathery creatures running around your legs in the grass. „I’m sorry I kept you up almost the entire night.“

You smiled and petted the ground next to you, inviting him to sit down. „Good morning, love,“ you said, leaning closer when he sat down and lovingly kissed his lips. „Let’s forget what happened during the night, it doesn’t matter anymore.“

You were close to falling back asleep when you heard Reiner cry out Eren’s name. After that, it was impossible to even think about sleeping. It took you almost an hour until you calmed him down enough, that he even considered laying back down.

No amount of hugs, kisses, and reassuring words helped him realize, that it was only a dream and nothing like that is going to happen ever again. The Rumbling was over and Eren was gone. Just like Reiner’s Titan powers and the curse of Ymir.

It was all in the past and unable to hurt you now. Finally, you were free and had the chance to live happily.

„But it happened again. And you know I hate it.“

„I know, but it’s fine, really,“ you assured him, gently stroking his cheek. Your heart hurt for him every single day, but you could see him slowly getting better. Day by day he started to realize, that his life was much different now. He didn’t have to fight anymore. Not the way he was used to all his life. „The weather is really pretty this morning. I hope it stays this way.“

„Do you have any plans?“

You nodded. „I would like to go for a swim in the ocean.“ It was amazing to live this close and always have the opportunity to go down to the nearby beach. „And have a little picnic at the beach. I think that would be perfect after a restless night.“

With a smile, you watched Reiner pick up one of the yellowish-brown baby ducks. He was so gentle and careful with them, almost afraid he would hurt such tiny and delicate creatures, who made the sweetest noises as they wandered around the garden.  

„I was apprehensive at first, but now I’m really glad we got them.“

„Told you they would bring a lot of joy to our home.“

It was your idea, to get a couple of baby ducks to raise them and have them as pets. Your new house, a tiny cozy cottage at the coastline, had a big enough garden to house a couple of them – so you got six little babies you fell in love with almost immediately. Before you brought them home, Reiner built them the most perfect shed. He got some handy tips and tricks from the nearby farm owner, who then sold you the little ducklings.

„I was thinking...“ you started, letting one of the babies walk into your palms and brought it closer to your face. Kissing their tiny little heads brought you so much joy every single day.  

„About your father again?“ Reiner finished your sentence.

You nodded. „I sent him another letter, but he didn’t answer. I thought that if I give him time, he’ll forgive me. Or at least want to know how we live now.“

Your father, a Marleyan soldier, never forgave you for falling in love with Reiner Braun. After the Rumbling, you went to him and tried to have a calm and reasonable conversation about the whole thing. You tried to explain, that after almost dying, you wanted to live your life according to your own dreams and plans. And they all involved Reiner, an Eldian.

„I’m really sorry.“

„No, don’t be. It’s not your fault, Reiner,“ you assured him, putting the duckling back on the grass again. The one Reiner was holding, made itself comfortable in his palms and looked like it was ready to fall asleep there. „I’m happy and I wouldn’t change a single thing about the way we live now. This is all I ever wanted. A nice peaceful place with a person I love the most.“

You left Marley behind. Better said... what was left of Marley after the Rumbling. It was the best possible option. Moving away and starting somewhere fresh, where no one knew who you were. A little coastline town was more than perfect for a fresh beginning. You were able to get a small house on the very edge of the town with a nice garden where you loved spending time. Mostly because of your flowers, which you love taking care of. Even Reiner liked to help you gardening sometimes.

You both found a job in the town and were earning enough money, to live comfortably and happily. So when it came down to all the material things, you had everything necessary.

And the rest was still a work in progress. You both needed time and that was okay. As for now, you had all the time in the world to be happy and become who you wanted to be.

„What about your mom? You said that she wants to come visit.“

„Yeah, at the end of the month. It looks like Gabi and Falco are coming too.“

You immediately smiled from excitement. „Great, I can’t wait. Bet they will love these sweet little angels,“ you said, carefully laying down between the ducklings. They immediately waddled closer to you, one of them trying to taste a few strands of your hair. „I wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted to stay here.“

Without an answer, Reiner’s golden eyes watched you with so much love and thankfulness. Moments like these made you believe, that he would truly be okay again. One day, hopefully in the near future. There was nothing you wanted more than Reiner coming to terms with what had happened and finally letting go of the past.

„Should I make us some breakfast? Or did you eat already?“ he finally asked, cuddling the almost sleeping baby duck and then putting it down into the grass.

„Are you in the mood for cooking?“

„It will help me unwind a little.“

„Okay, as you wish. I would like some pancakes if you don’t mind.“

Reiner leaned down, kissing your lips with a tiny smile. One of your hands reached for his chin, to deepen your kiss. „I’ll try not to burn down the whole house.“ With a laugh, you kissed Reiner once more before letting him return to the house and fulfill your wishes for a yummy sweet breakfast.

„Just lay back and let the water do its thing. It’s gonna hold you up, don’t worry,“ you said with closed eyes, enjoying how the ocean waves gently swayed your body. The air was full of familiar and comforting freshness and saltiness, the sun shining down on you in full force even after three in the afternoon.

„I know, but I can’t just relax,“ Reiner said, walking over to you and lowering himself back into the ocean, that reached up to the center of his chest, when he was standing up. He was never the biggest fan of spending time in the ocean but tried to change his mind because you simply loved swimming and fooling around in the fresh waters.

What you loved even more, was wandering around the coastline for hours and searching for all different kinds of shells in the sand. Just last week, you brought your ducklings with you to the beach as well. They were running around and exploring the new territory until none of them had the energy to take another step, so Reiner had to carry all of them back home. Your heart almost burst at that sight. It was the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen for sure.

„Do you want to go home?“ you asked and cracked one eye open to look at him.

„No, it’s fine.“

„It’s not,“ you contraindicated, letting yourself sink to the bottom for a couple of seconds. When you opened your eyes underwater, you saw a whole new world full of sand, rocks, and tiny colorful fishes, which didn’t fear getting close to the shore.

When you broke through the surface again, Reiner was waiting for you, his expression reflecting nothing but tiredness.

„We should go home,“ you suggested, walked over to him, and wrapped your arms around his body when he stood up again. Since you were a lot shorter than him, only your head was poking out from under the water. „It’s not fun when you’re not enjoying yourself.“

„I’m trying,“ he said quietly, kissing the top of your head. „It’s just one of those days.“

„It’s okay, Reiner. I’m not mad, it’s not your fault.“

Sometimes you could plan the most fun day and it would simply turn out like this. All it took, was one bad memory from the still not-so-distant past. And even though you still felt the fear from that day at Fort Salta, Reiner had it a million times worse. That’s why you always reminded him, that suddenly feeling sad, tired, or disinterested was absolutely okay. You never got mad at him about his moods, that wouldn’t do any good. The best you could do was give him all the love and support he needed.

„Do you want to talk? Would that make you feel better?“ you asked, running your hand up and down his back in a calming motion.

The beach was quiet and almost empty even though the weather was beautiful. But that didn’t bother you, at least you had all the space you needed. You could truly be yourself and do whatever you wanted.

„I don’t think I want to talk about the same thing for a millionth time,“ Reiner breathed out. You could feel how tense he was in your arms.

„Okay, that’s fine with me. Whatever makes you comfortable, darling,“ you assured him, gently grabbing his chin and bringing his handsome face closer to yours. There were no words you could use to express just how much you loved him and cared for his happiness.

The two of you had to face so many obstacles, that suddenly having a quiet life seemed out of place. You still weren’t used to falling asleep and waking up next to Reiner every single day. Dreaming about a life like this and actually living it were two very different things.

What still troubled you the most, was your father. You wanted him to accept, that you were finally happy and in good hands. Reiner was a decent man, who could take care of you and love you the way you wanted and needed. If only he looked past the fact, that Reiner had Eldian blood...

„You’re thinking about him again?“ Reiner asked, giving you a kiss on your forehead. He knew, that when you suddenly stayed quiet and furrowed your brows, you were thinking about your father. „Maybe you should go and visit him for a couple of days. Have a talk alone, just the two of you.“

Your mom passed away a long time ago, so it was really just you and your dad for most of your life. And you loved him, the two of you were always very close. Maybe that was the reason why you felt so much pain when you thought about him now. On one hand, you were happier than ever, because you could finally be with the man you loved more than your own life. But on the other, you were losing somebody just as important and you had no idea what to do.

Even though you were living your best life, everything seemed really messy.

Confusing.

Uncertain.

Erratic.

Scary.

And much, much more. Only after some time you finally started to accept, that healing and finding peace wasn’t something, that came easily and quickly. It all took time, days, and nights spent crying and loathing many things.

„We did the right choice,“ you said after a while. Reiner’s big warm hands slipped down onto your hips, grabbing them gently. „With moving away and starting over. It hurts and we both feel uncomfortable very often, but we had to do it.“

„We’ll be okay, it just takes time to get used to a peaceful life like this,“ Reiner said in a reassuring voice, sliding his hands down under your butt and lifting you up like you weighed nothing at all. „The most important thing is, that we love each other.“

You nodded, kissing the tip of his nose, as a slightly bigger wave crashed into the both of you. Reiner staggered a bit, making you laugh with his attempt to regain his balance once again.

„We love each other,“ you repeated after him, still laughing. „And we’ll be okay.“

Sometimes it was hard to believe it. But right at that moment, when you were safe in Reiner’s arms, the future looked bright and happy. Full of love and all the most beautiful things both of you could imagine.

„Will you come to the farmers market with me in the morning? I want to get some stuff, mainly those super sweet apricots we had the other day.“

„Last time we had them you promised to bake a pie when you get them again.“

„If it turns out good, I can do one for your mom as well.“

„Well, she...“ Before Reiner had the chance to respond, another wave crashed into you and knocked him off his feet. And since he was still holding you, with your legs wrapped around his waist, you went down together.

Just before you wanted to resurface again, Reiner grabbed you around the waist, pulled you against his body, and pressed his lips to yours. It was such a liberating moment spent only in the presence of one another. And that was about right.