#Regulus ���what the fuck just happened’ Black but is grinning as he continues studying

[fiasco95]

Regulus, studying in the library and muttering to himself,

James, slipping into the seat next to him with a piece of string, holds Regulus’ left hand and slips the ring off his ring finger.

Regulus: What-

James, measuring Regulus’ ring finger with the string: Mhm.

Regulus: The fuck-

James nodding as he picks up the ring and string, suddenly sprints out of the library: 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️💨💨

Regulus: ?!?!?!???

Regulus: WHAT WAS THE POINT OF MEASURING IT IF YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE OFF WITH MY RING ANYWAY YOU FUCK—

Later…

Sirius: What’s with the string and ring?

James, in gollum’s voice: My precious…..

Sirius: ?????Okay???

[bethansfandoms]

What about a one where it's wolfstar in hospital but it's Sirius in hospital not Remus?

love it. two posts in two days? online class is really getting boring...

“fucking foul!”

remus looked up from his book, “merlin, peter, you have quite a mouth on you when it comes to quidditch huh?”

peter smiled lightly, “you know, if you actually watched this game i’m sure you’d enjoy it. if james and sirius found out you were reading during the quidditch cup final, they’d kill you. mckinnon too.”

“we have our charms NEWT in two weeks. i’m studying.”

“come on, remus,” lily joined in, “watch the game.” she leaned in close to speak into his ear, “our boys look good in quidditch uniforms, right?”

remus grinned, “knew you had an ulterior motive for watching this game.” he put his book away nonetheless. this game was important to his friends, ergo, it was important to him too. and sirius did look good in a quidditch uniform.

his hair was in a bun which remus loved because he never put it up like that outside the quidditch pitch. his eyes were focused, remus could tell even from a distance; his beaters bat was clutched firmly in his left hand.

“and slytherin seeker regulus black seems to have spotted the snitch!”

an intake of breath rung out upon the commentary and cheers could be heard from the slytherin side.

“regulus black swerves out of the way of a bludger!” the crowd reacted again. “and he’s lost sight of the snitch! an excellent hit from beater sirius black!”

remus grinned, maybe quidditch could be fun. the look on sirius’ face was amazing. james swooped up towards him and clapped him on the shoulder, no doubt shouting praise.

the game continued, with more aggression than before. all eyes were on james who was scoring goals back to back. which is why not many people saw it, but remus was watching sirius, and so he did.

the quaffle was nowhere near sirius, it was metres below him and he was watching the chasers from up above like a hawk. so invested that he was not paying attention to the slytherin beaters.

the bludger came towards benjamin dobbin and he hit it, hard, directly at sirius. it hit him in the head. remus rose from his seat. people hadn’t seen it happen, but they certainly noticed as sirius fell, straight off of his broom.

remus’ hand went straight to his throat as he watched, helpless. madam hooch must have seen the hit as she blew her whistle immediately. james went into a dive but was too slow, sirius hit the floor with a thud.

the gryffindor team were on the ground in an instant, half of them running towards sirius and the others shouting at madam hooch. the slytherin beater responsible was screamed at but remus stopped paying attention to what his punishment was going to be.

“remus, it’s okay,” lily said, clutching his arm. “he’ll be okay.”

“you don’t know that.” remus left. he ran out of the stands and onto the pitch in time to see madam pomfret carey sirius’ limp body back towards the school. the game was put on halt. gryffindor were furious.

remus ran, he didn’t follow them off the pitch and instead sprinted back into the castle, running down the corridors until he made it to the hospital wing. some of the gryffindor team were there already.

“he needs space,” madam pomfrey was insisting. remus couldn’t see james in the crowd. good, he’d probably been let in.

“madam pomfrey,” remus said, desperately. the mediwitch looked at him, considering.

“mr lupin, in. everybody else, i will send janes back to the common room and he can let you know how he is. now please leave me to heal him.”

“thank you,” remus said, his breaths raged.

“i need you to keep your distance too, remus, until i’ve done all i can.”

remus nodded and made a beeline to where james was standing, a few metres away from sirius’ bed.

“moony! did you see it happen?”

“yeah. yeah, benjamin dobbin. hit it at sirius for no reason, clear foul.”

“yes, well, dobbin is suspended from the team, game is on pause. shit, i didn’t even see it! i couldn’t help! they only did it because of that bludger sirius got at regulus i guarantee it.”

sirius was unconscious, not to much surprise. madam pomfrey spent a long time brewing potions and casting spells. when she was satisfied, she stepped away.

“james, he’s okay. four broken ribs but they’ll heal. broken bones here and ther but nothing i can’t fix. he’s hit his head badly but he will come round. the rest of gryffindor have been sent back to the common room, will you let them know?”

james looked at sirius and nodded, “yeah. course.” he ran a hand through his slightly damp hair, gave one final glance, and then turned and sprinted away.

“you can stay if you wish,” madam promfrey told him, “i gave him some potion that should bring him round soon, then i need to do some concussion testing. come and get me when he wakes.”

remus slumped into the chair next to the bed and quickly took sirius’ hand into his own. he could feel sirius’ pulse in his wrist, it must have been going at least half the speed of remus’ racing heart.

it took about ten minutes, but then he felt sirius squeeze his hand back and remus half gasped. “sirius,” he whispered.

“did we win?”

remus laughed wetly and kissed sirius’ forehead. “that’s what you care about? sirius, you could’ve died!”

sirius slowly opened his eyes, “but did we?”

“game is on pause, dobbin is suspended. merlin, i was so worried about you.”

sirius smiled, “this is how it feels, you know. every time i see you in here after a full moon.” he tried to sit up but winced and lay back down.

“sirius,” remus said, softly, “you know i’m okay. i have you james and pete, remember.”

“you didn’t used to. and i used to watch you come in here every month and it broke my heart.”

remus kissed his temple, “you gave us all such a fright.”

“sorry. i’ll survive.”

remus was ushered away as madam pomfrey returned. she spent almost an hour with him, running tests, giving him potions, mending broken bones. “okay, that’s it. just the sleeping draught now.”

remus thanked her and sat back down, holding the draught out to sirius. “you’ve been prescribed sleep.”

“and without you here i might actually get the duvet.”

remus smiled, “not too injured for humour i see.”

“never.”

remus kissed him, properly this time. “don’t do that to me again.”

“next time someone knocks me out i’ll stay in my broom, promise.”

“ha ha,” remus replied dryly, “very funny.”

“thanks for staying,” sirius said quietly, taking his hand again.

“you kidding? you stay with me in here every month even when you get no sleep during the moons either.”

sirius smiled and drank the sleeping draught. “‘s cause i love you.”

remus laughed, “first i love you and it’s whilst you’re concussed and heavily drugged up?”

“i mean it though, been wanting to tell you for ages but i was scared.”

“why?”

“incase you didn’t say it back.”

remus kissed their joint hands. “i love you too.”

sirius smiled, “yeah, i know.” then, he fell asleep.

[fandomlovingfreak]

Healing His Heart (3/?)

Young Remus Lupin/Reader

Rating: E for Everyone

Word Count: 2010

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link I Tiktok Link

Summary: (y/n) is two years younger than him, a popular Slytherin, and Regulus Black's best friend. Yet he can't help but be attracted to her bewitching personality and sweet smile. Unfortunately, his er--problem makes it harder to get close to others. Despite his attempts to push her away (for her own good) she seems determined to worm her way into his life.

Notes: Thanks for reading!

Enjoy

Two months go by. Remus has busied himself with his schoolwork, avoiding anything and everything involving (y/n). Ever since the argument with Regulus in the hallway, he's been able to successfully avoid both him and (y/n). He leaves for his classes earlier than usual to avoid them in the halls and eats his meals with his back to the Slytherin table just in case. He can't handle the idea that Regulus may have told (y/n) about his crush on her. 

Of course, though, he knows Regulus wouldn't do that. He clearly didn't want to hurt his friend and thought Remus's way of skirting around (y/n) was...well, cowardly, but he never was intentionally cruel.

***

The library is surprisingly full to the brim with students. Sirius is to his right, James and Peter to his left. They're all more focused on distracting him than doing their own papers and homework.

Sirius keeps leaning over his shoulder, trying to get him to write the wrong words on his piece of parchment by discussing unrelated things. Remus has crossed out entire lines now from Sirius's tricks. 

"Knock it off, Sirius," he sets down his quill, rubbing his eyes. He's beyond exasperated by his friend. 

"C'mon Moony. All you do is study--"

"Something you should consider starting soon." Remus picks his quill back up, continuing to write about the Fidelius Charm.

James taps his quill on the table obnoxiously, "Oh look--" Remus glances up for a second, looking at where James is pointing. Regulus and (y/n) are walking to a table across the room from them. He looks back down at his paper, trying hard not to respond. He hears Sirius's chuckle, electing not to acknowledge their teasing.

"I wonder what they're doing..." he hears Sirius murmur to Peter and James.

He must not take the bait... but the itch to see what (y/n) and Regulus are doing is insistent. Remus glances up to see what his friends are looking at, instantly regretting it.

She's laughing her melodic laugh, touching Regulus's arm as they look over a textbook together. Regulus whispers something to her, evoking another peal of laughter from her lips. Remus sees red, standing quickly and shoving his books and his half-written Charms paper into his satchel.

(y/n) and Regulus look up from their book at the commotion.

"Remus--" James frowns at him, "where are you going?"

Madam Pince glares at the boys from her desk, "be quiet!" She hisses at them.

Peter squeaks an apology for the table as the three boys hurry to pack up their stuff to follow Remus.

"Remus!" Sirius calls, refusing to run after his friend.

"I'm not in the mood, guys." Remus rounds a corner hoping they will leave him alone. 

***

"What's his problem?" Peter looks at James and Sirius for the answer.

"(y/n) (y/l/n)," Sirius chuckles.

"The girl doesn't even know--" James starts to speak but is cut off by the blur of black and green robes.

"(y/n)?" 

"Where did he go?" the girl turns around to look at them.

Peter points down the hall "to the right."

"Why are you chasing after him?" James slightly cocks his head in interest.

(y/n) looks at him with determination in her eyes, "I'm tired of chasing after him. I'm putting an end to this nonsense." She promptly turns on her heel and follows Remus's trail down the hall and to the right.

"Remus doesn't stand a chance," James chuckles, looking at Sirius.

Sirius smirks at James, "Not at all."

***

"Remus," he hears (y/n)'s voice and footsteps following behind him. Remus continues to walk, still too angry and jealous over the way she was touching Regulus-- 

"Remus!" she yells again, catching his sleeve in her delicate fingers.

He stops in his tracks before looking down at where her fingers are gripping at the black fabric, "what do you want?"

(y/n) looks stunned. The frigid quality of his voice wasn't purposeful-- he just-- didn't know how to talk to her right now. She had to be with Regulus, and it burnt him something nasty inside.

"Won't you talk to me?"

"What is there to talk about? Don't you have homework or--" your stupid boyfriend?

"I've finished everything for the week. Why are you avoiding me?" Her (y/e/c) eyes burn into his skull.

"You--you should get back to your dorm (y/n)." He turns again, ripping his sleeve free from her grasp. He thinks maybe she's done exactly what he suggested after a moment of silence.

"Remus Lupin! Don't you walk away from me!" (y/n)'s voice rings down the near-empty hallway. He stops, turning back towards the Slytherin girl. (y/n) quickly walks to him, again reaching for him. This time she gets his wrist.

“(y/n)! There's nothing to talk about!" She recoils, her fingers slipping from his skin.

"You--Why?" She blinks at him dumbly. He feels so stupid--

"Don't you have a boyfriend? Where's Regulus?" He looks around them like Regulus is going to pop up from the shadows.

(y/n) pulls a face, "A boyfriend? Regulus? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you--" she scrunches up her nose, "do you actually believe Regulus Arcturus Black is my boyfriend?"

Remus feels his face heat up, "Is--isn't he?"

"Are you insane?" she looks at him like he's gone mad, "Regulus is not my boyfriend. Is that why--?"

"What?"

"You--I know you like me." He opens his mouth to deny this, "shut up. I know. Don't deny it. I heard you and Sirius talking about me this summer."

He flushes hotter, instantly grateful that it wasn't from Regulus that she heard this, "Heard? You heard exactly what?"

"I heard Sirius! And you…" she looks down, suddenly interested in her robe's sleeve.

"I--" he pinches the bridge of his nose, "Okay."

"Okay?" He looks down at her. Damnit.

"I'll admit it. I do--I do like you…" She's grinning at this admission, "but it can't lead to anything." The grin falls from her lovely face.

"What? Why… why not?"

"I'm too old for you," he pushes away from her to lean against the castle's wall.

(y/n) frowns, "Remus, you're two years older than me, not ten. That's a ridiculous excuse."

"I--I have these ugly scars everywhere (y/n)--" He can't get himself to admit to her anything past the scars. It was too much.

"Stop it! I don't exactly know why you want to push me away, Remus, but it's not going to work," she crowds him. Boldly her fingers reach up for his face. Warm fingers tracing across a particularly prominent and jagged scar that starts at his upper lip and travels up his cheek. "I know that it's not only the scars why you're being like this."

His eyes widen. Did she know? Better yet--how did she know if she actually knows? "What do you mean?"

(y/n) looks down at her hands, "well--I think I know at least."

"What do you think you know?" He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, unsure if she actually does know--

"Remus," she looks back up at him, "I've noticed well, around the full moon..." Shit, she does know... "Are you--?"

He nods, "yes."

(y/n)'s kind smile is not what he's expecting, "I thought so. It was just too--well, it couldn't just be a coincidence why you disappear..."

"You've noticed before the Summer?" It only makes him a tiny bit nervous that someone outside his friend group and professors have noticed his absences once a month.

She looks flustered, "well, like I said earlier, Remus, I've had a crush on you for a while now..."

He finds himself grinning at the confession even though she's just uncovered his darkest secret, "You've been watching me?"

(y/n) rolls her eyes, "Shut up. Like you haven't been watching me as well."

Remus plays with his bangs, embarrassed by her words, "still (y/n)--you shouldn't be with me--"

"Quit it," she strokes his cheek affectionately, "I don't care about the whole... well I don't care that you're a werewolf. And if it's the scars, well, I happen to like them. They make you look rugged and handsome."

He can't help the tug at the corners of his lips, "Compliments won't make me change my mind. You should be with someone who you can build a relationship, a future." he attempts to comfort her by reaching for her arm, but she smacks it away.

"Stop being daft, Lupin," she frowns, "You don't know what I need or want one bit. You're so obsessed with... self-loathing you refuse to see anything outside your own little Remus bubble. I know what I want. I don't need you infantilizing me and treating me with kid gloves because of how you feel about yourself."

He opens and closes his mouth, unsure of how to respond to her piercing words. He knows her blunt honesty is... well, honest… and possibly, it is the truth. Perhaps he does let his own self-loathing, as she says, blind him to everything around him at times and makes him run from any semblance of happiness life puts in his path... but wasn't he right to protect others from himself? 

"Why don't you--no, can you not see that I care about you? I have for years now. Maybe even since that first time I saw you in the hall when I was a first-year. When Sirius was checking in on Regulus after the sorting ceremony. You're the sweetest boy I've ever known, and I do know what I want. And it's you who I want. I don't care that you think I shouldn't."

He blinks his green eyes at her, somewhat touched by her determination. But he doesn't know what to say. If they--If something came out of this mutual attraction, he'd be dragging her into his lonely life. People wanted nothing to do with him because of his condition. It would be hard to find employment after school, arduous to be a part of a society that wanted nothing to do with his kind. If she were to throw away her chance for a normal life, just for him, she'd be a social pariah alongside himself. That's not what he wanted for her. It wouldn't be fair when she's got such a bright future ahead of her.

But it doesn't seem like (y/n) cares as she reaches up to press her lips to his. As quick as her lips are on his, they've pulled away. (y/n) blinks up at him, seemingly shocked by her own brazen action. Like a man starved, he ducks down, cradling her face in his rough hand to kiss her again. She melts against him, gripping at the lapel of his school robes as he deepens the kiss. 

(y/n) pulls back slightly, keeping her eyes closed as his thumb brushes across her cheekbone. He watches her content sigh and the small smile on her lips as her hand comes up to rest on his forearm gently. Remus brushes his nose against hers affectionately before kissing her again.

She pulls away once more, blinking her eyes open, "so--"

Remus sighs, collecting his words "(y/n)."

"Yes, Remus?"

"I--I won't lie to you. I do feel the same way--"

"Don't fight it. Me. Please, Remus." Her thumb brushed across his bottom lip. And gods, he doesn't want to fight it. Doesn't want to fight the way he feels about her. He's never allowed himself to openly confess feelings to someone. But maybe that's because no one besides (y/n) has ever called him out on his bullshit. Or perhaps it's because only (y/n)'s made him feel this way.

"Can I--Uh--do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

"What? Obviously! Wait--really?"

He laughs, cheeks feeling relatively warm, "Yes. We can--"

"We can just take a walk."

He furrows his brow, amused by her suggestion, "you just want to go for a walk?"

"I just want to spend time with you," she smiles, "and what's better than a walk to get to know someone?"

Remus laughs, "if that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

The Beautiful & Damned (5/7)

Female Reader x Young!Remus Lupin | Female Reader x Young!Sirius Black

Chapter 5: Marauders to the Rescue

A/N: I love Sirius Orion Black so goddamn much. I just re-read what I wrote (adding stuff here and there) and that’s when the thought hit me. I want one in my life, why can’t I have one?... 

Jokes aside, I appreciate your likes and your asks to be in this story’s taglist so much! Thank you for indulging in my story and supporting my humble vision of what Marauders are like.  I hope you enjoy!

New to the series? - Accio Chapter 1: The Golden Couple - Accio Chapter 2: No, Definitely - Accio Chapter 3: Misread - Accio Chapter 4: Bravado Falls

Fear was bringing out the worst in him, Remus knew as much. How did he even secure a place in the Gryffindor house, for Godric’s sake? Where was that much-vaunted bravery he was supposed to be the poster boy for? 

The entire situation had clearly blown out of proportion. Because of how afraid he was to face pity and rejection, he was losing the people that cared for him, loved him despite of his furry little problem. He acted like a hormonal teenager (which he still kind of was, he tried to justify himself) and like a hands-down, the most disgusting twisted little git last night in the Common Room. This needed to stop, before he lost everything he had under the sun. 

Easier said than done: pacing back and forth in his favorite spot in the library, Remus was getting ready to show some serious Gryffindor balls and come clean before his friends, hoping that they’d take him back in spite of all the shit he’d done and said. 

Working up the courage to go talk to you, however, was another ballgame entirely, and he was still terrified he was going to strike out.

“You are going to tread a hole through those floors if you keep this up,” a poignant comment made Remus stop in his tracks. Looking up, he saw Sirius leaning against one of the bookshelves, hands crossed on his chest. 

“Sirius…” he started, not really knowing what to say. He needed more time. “I’m…”

“Sorry?” Padfoot cut in pitilessly, “I, too, am sorry, Moony, but I’m afraid that this kind of apology simply won’t cut it for me”. 

“Okay, chill out, Pads”, it’s only now that Remus noticed Prongs standing on the other side of the corridor in between the bookshelves. He approached Sirius and slung an arm over his. shoulder. Potter’s smile reassured Remus, giving him a much needed glimmer of hope that not all was lost. “Let’s get to the bottom of this crappy situation we have at hand, shall we?”

Peter, barely noticeable two minutes ago behind James’ broad frame, shook his head energetically. 

“I really miss you, Remus,” he added in a small voice. “We all do,” he gave Sirius a chastising look, but Padfoot chose to ignore it. 

Remus held their gazes for a moment, and finally spoke:

“I was an idiot,” he stated simply. “And I am very, very sorry”. 

Both James and Peter were already smiling at him; Sirius, however, wasn’t as quick to forgive and forget. 

“I want to know what exactly you are sorry for, Moony,” the latter claimed, his stubbornness unwavering. “To make sure that we are all on the same page”. 

Moony sighed, backing down and leaning on one of the wide window sills of the library hall. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been distancing myself from you and avoiding you,” instinctively, Remus crossed his hands on his chest, sort of mirroring Sirius’ pose. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you what was wrong instead of letting my shit get the best of me. I acted like a twat”, Remus admitted, looking his friends straight in the eyes. “Won’t happen again.”

“Sounds good to me,” James was impatient to be able to talk to one of his best friends again like always. Still smiling, Potter opened his arms to welcome Remus back.

“Not so fast,” Moony could swear Padfoot sounded so much like his brother Regulus right now. Or someone worse. “Is that all? Nothing you want to add?”

Remus looked at his friend questioningly, trying to spot some kind of a hint in his stare. Sirius all but rolled his eyes at the young werewolf. 

“Not to sound like a broken record, but come on, Moony, don’t play stupid,” Padfoot’s expression remained serious. “You’re smarter than that”. 

Remus bit the inside of his cheek - the habit he seemed to have picked up not so long ago. 

“Fine!” he let out in exasperated fashion, not breaking the eye contact with Sirius. “It’s true. I’ve learned to hate you, Sirius. I wanted to chop your head off this entire time and give it to blasted Pixies to kick around! I also wanted to feed you to a dragon, or hex you, an innumerable amount of times might I add, especially when…”

“Especially when you saw me with Y/N”, Padfoot finished for him before throwing his head back and laughing heartily. “Moony, I can’t believe how daft you’ve been this entire time. Real slow on the uptake.”

Remus gave him a confused look, truly not comprehending the meaning behind his words. 

“We don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I thought we made it clear when we learned the truth,” Sirius continued. James nodded at his words, followed by Peter. “We love you like a brother, and we will always be here to call you on your bullshit, which is exactly what we are doing right now. You need to put your insecurities behind you. Your furry side is what makes you - you, and we love you as you are. I just want to make one more thing clear,” he narrowed his thunderous eyes at the werewolf. “I’d better not see Y/N ever again in all sorts of states because of what you thought she did, and why you thought she did it. You are my brother and best friend, Moony, but Y/N is my best girl. I care about her, because she’s as much a part of the family I’m building for myself as you are. She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and she deserves the world. So do you,” Sirius paused for a moment, as if thinking twice about what he was going to say next. “I’ll proper kick your ass if you fuck this up, Moony, I swear,” Padfoot clenched both of his hands into fists for a millisecond - enough time for the Marauders to notice. Sirius chomped down on his bottom lip, studying Moony scrupulously, hoping that the warning didn’t fall on deaf ears. 

Realization was slowly dawning on Remus. One emotion crept into his features after another, like objects on a slowly developing Polaroid picture. 

The fact that Padfoot loved you wasn’t what startled him - just like many other Hogwarts’ students, he heard the stories, exceedingly detailed, too. 90 percent of them were lies, of course, but Remus had seen the way Pads looked at you, the way he was with you. So no, he wasn’t at all astonished to learn that Sirius Black, Hogwarts’ most notorious bad boy and ladykiller and his best friend, held you very dear. 

What caught him completely off his balance, knocking the air out of his lungs, however, was the feeling that the fierceness with which Sirius loved you wasn’t quite reciprocal. When Remus looked at Sirius now he saw an aura of vulnerability, hiding behind the whole protective best friend facade. For what it was worth, Moony truly believed that Padfoot wanted more than forehead kisses, but you didn’t seem to oblige. 

Could it be?…

Sirius, with his vivid personality, all his swagger and all his bold handsomeness… You must have been insane not to want him back!…

This couldn’t be true. Magnificent wizards like Sirius and you were genetically programmed to meet, have beautiful babies and make the world a delightful place! He couldn’t dare to think otherwise, it was so obvious, common fucking sense!

Is it though? - small, smirking voice hemmed in his head. Remus forced himself to think back to the good old days, recalling your image in his mind. The way you’d smile at him as you’d always get out of your way to seat next to him and to steal his food. The way you’d always wonder if he was going to be at that particular Hogsmeade outing, this party, or that Quidditch game. The way you’d laugh at his stupid puns that weren’t even all that funny, brushing you delicate fingers through his messy mane of hair… The way you tried so hard to tell him something after you two kissed, begging for him to listen!

“Bloody boggart!”, Remus groaned, facepalming at himself. That’s right, he thought, Lupin, your whole circus of a life is a bloody facepalm sequence. “I really am a fucking coward!…I need to see her.”

Remus jumped up on his feet, a determined, wolfish kind of fire burning in his irises, licking his pupils. Two more seconds and he’d be out of the library, when James caught him by the wrist, grinning wide. 

“Wait up a sec, Moony,” he said, his bright eyes shimmering. “You know what happens now,” Potter’s smile slowly transformed into a smirk as he threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs: 

“Group hug!...”

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed, crushing his tiny frame into Remus’ side so unexpectedly hard, he knocked all the air from his lungs. James chuckled before caging Remus in a bone-crushing embrace, making Moony groan in pain. Sirius was the last one to join the gathering, and being a huge pain the ass that he was, he made sure to squeeze as tight as he could. 

“Mr. Potter!…” Madame Pince appeared in the corridor like a cackling hen, her bonnet sliding on her eyes from running. “Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew!… Mr. Lupin!” a pang of honest-to-Merlin disappointment was ringing in her voice. “I feel like I need to remind you that this is a library, a sacred sanctum of knowledge and enlightenment! Silence and concentration are primordial as you enter these walls! Should you want to display public affection in such a brutish way, or any sort of boorish behaviour, I shall need to escort you four to the exit!”

“No need, Madame Pince”, Remus said politely, but impatiently. “We were about to leave anyway”, he added before exchanging a knowing glance with the Marauders and speeding out of the sacred sanctum as fast as his feet would take him. 

“Use protection!” was the last of boorish behaviour Remus had seen from James before shutting the door behind him with a deafening clutter.

“Mr. Potter!!!…”

To be continued...

My Beautiful Taglist (please, hit me up should you want to be tagged or untagged): @yuukiahim, @xapham, @spunkypatterns,  @jackie-houston, @justducky0423, @zakthedrak, @marauder–harder, @davros2004, @firefurr, @heyjess-marie, @kapolisradomthoughts

[littleoldrachel]

Tenth chapter is up! Read it here on ao3, or here on ff.net, or under the cut. 

Dedicating this chapter to @totally-aced-it for being the sweetest cheerleader <3 100 Ways to Say I Love You

Summary: In which actions speak louder than words, Sirius and Remus sort of fall in to a relationship, and even though neither of them have said those three all-important words, they both know it anyway.Or: 100 Ways to Say I Love You by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Previous |  chapter 10/100 - “I’m sorry for your loss.” | Next Based on this post by p0ck3tf0x Tw for graphic description of a panic attack, discussion and memories of child abuse, references to disordered eating and self harm, grief

It's not often that Sirius is bored at work – there's usually so much to do and learn that he's focused and occupied from the moment he clocks in until he's forced out of his desk in the evening by his supervisor. But today is not one of those days; instead, he's half-filling in a crossword from yesterday's copy of the Guardian, and half-texting Remus, his computer screen idle before him.

Consequently, he jumps out of his skin as Akilah appears at his shoulder, silent in spite of their heeled, steel-capped boots. They drop a thick folder on to his desk, and it's the slapping sound that makes him sheepishly fold up the newspaper. Akilah rolls their eyes, tapping a ringed finger on top of the file.

"Good job on that submission, Sirius," they say, "you've got yourself a client."

Sirius jerks up, seizing the folder and flipping through it excitedly, "seriously?!"

"Siriusly," Akilah says with a cheeky grin, cackling as Sirius sticks his tongue out at them. "Are you gonna manage this on top of your big magazine deadline?"

"Watch me," Sirius says, with more confidence than he's used to expressing – but he means it. He finally feels like he's found his footing at Queerllustration; he's stopped feeling star-struck around his idols, having realised that they are just as nerdy and quirky as he is, he's been out on a pub crawl with all of his team and had a blast, and he's had nothing but positive feedback on everything he's submitted thus far. Even the prospect of running two big projects at the same time feels like a fun challenge rather than overwhelming – he is neither bored as he was at school, nor overwhelmed like at university, and the change couldn't be more welcome.

"Well, if you need anything, you know where I am," Akilah says, and Sirius grins, glancing over at Akilah's warzone of a desk (sketches, fabrics, magazines littered everywhere, half-full mugs of coffee surrounding their computer monitor like guards), "but I trust your judgement." Sirius' heart swells at their confidence in him, because is there any feeling in the world as good as being respected by someone you hold in the highest regard?

Speaking of – he glances back at his phone screen, which has three new notifications. One is a bunch of likes on his Instagram post of his latest coffee art (he might not be a barista anymore, but making patterns in steamed milk is fun, alright?), and the second is Remus' guesses at the crossword clue he'd sent him. He studies the crossword for a moment, realising with unsurprised amusement that Remus is correct, as per usual, and sends him an affectionate 'nerd' in return.

The third –

Oh.

It's a Facebook message, which is unusual in itself, because nobody in their right mind prefers Facebook Messenger to WhatsApp. But it's the sender of the message that makes him pause.

Regulus Black (1 New Message)

Sirius stares at the notification for a few seconds, which blinks back at him, flashing with new messages at alarming rate. Then he shoves the phone away from him, and it lands face-down at the edge of his desk.

He breathes.

For a few minutes, he manages to ignore the niggling sense of anxiety; he flips through the new folder without taking any of it in, he tries to edit a fight scene but frustrates himself with his inability to draw fucking hands, he continues sending memes to Remus, allowing him to take control of the conversation.

(Remus is… struggling, there's no two ways around it. Sirius hates the fresh scratches he sees on Remus' wrists, hates the tired and empty look in his eyes, hates the way Remus talks about himself as though he's shit on the bottom of someone's shoe. He hates that Remus still has to fight to leave his bed each morning, that he can't face work without having violent panic attacks, that he lurches between forgetting (read: not caring enough) to feed himself and eating everything in sight).

(And yet. Things are improving: once upon a time, the scratches would have been gashes, the bleakness of his expression would not have lifted, the self-deprecation would have been all that left his mouth. And Remus is trying – Sirius can see how hard he's trying, and it fills him with the fragile kind of hope that he wants to lock away in a tower to keep it safe. When Sirius asks about how he's really coping, he can see the struggle in Remus' mind, but Remus is fighting, and he is more open than he has ever been before about the reality of the situation).

(Sirius is sort of embarrassingly proud and concerned and grateful all at once).

His phone vibrates again, and Sirius clicks on the notification without thinking – expecting it to be Remus again. Only it's not, and the screen switches to Messenger before he can rectify this horrendous mistake.

Regulus Black: Sirius. I know you do not want to talk to me. I understand that sentiment. But this is of the utmost importance, and I do not have another way of ensuring that this news reaches you. I implore you to believe me that this is not the way I would prefer to tell you this, but again, this is urgent.

Regulus Black: Uncle Alphard has died.

Regulus Black: I am so sorry, brother. I know how much he meant to you.

Regulus Black: It was very sudden. The doctors say it was a stroke. Mother and Father – well, you can imagine what they are saying.

Regulus Black: I am sorry. I know that probably means very little coming from me. But, he was my uncle too. And I am sorry.

Regulus Black: In his will, Uncle Alphard has left everything to you, Sirius. Mother and Father are livid and are doing everything they can to get their hands on the fortune. But it belongs to you. One of your friends – MacKinnon - is a lawyer, I believe? Perhaps you can arrange something with them against Mother and Father. It is not important now, but I thought you should know sooner rather than later.

Regulus Black: There's something else. Mother and Father have sunk even lower than I thought possible and have barred you from attending the funeral. I do not know what they will do to you should you show up anyway. I will of course give you the details if you wish to come.

Regulus Black: You do not need to respond. But Sirius, please do not be alone. Please take care of yourself or let someone take care of you. I know this news must be very hard for you. But you were important to Alphard, and he would want you to take care too.

Sirius – he – he doesn't –

Sirius has a plethora of talents, but languages have never been among them – and for a while, he feels like he's had a passage of Mandarin placed in front of him, because the words? don't? make? sense? But then he realises it's more like he's reading an obnoxiously academic text, because he understands the individual words, but together it's like a riddle.

When he finally comprehends, it's like all the force of a brick wall crashes down on him – only it must be a set of walls stacked like dominoes, because it keeps happening. Every blow is crushing, every breath is harder and harder to reach because he's buried under mounds and mounds of rubble.

"Sirius," he hears, but it's muffled, and he is fading fast. There's even more pressure on his shoulders and he moans, shaking it loose – it's too much, too much, too much –

There are voices – beneath a rushing in his ears and the sounds of his choked gasps for air, people are calling his name and there's movement everywhere, but Sirius is drowning, drowning, drowningdrowningdrowning –

Something touches his neck this time, and he howls, jerking away violently, causing something to give way beneath him and he thumps down, knocking what little breath he has out of his lungs.

"Right, everybody out!" Someone shouts and claps their hands, and Sirius presses his hands over his ears as he continues to fight for breath, because it's all so loud, why are they being so loud? There's some kind of animal too – something is making an awful groan, as though it's been mortally wounded, and Sirius wants to sob at the sound of its distress, because it's appalling.

(When he's six, his father takes him hunting for the first time. Sirius loves what felt like dressing up in the fancy riding gear and is so excited to be on a horse again. But then the hunt begins, and Sirius watches a dog ravage a pheasant, his father's hand clamped on his jaw to keep his head from cringing away from the violence. Tears course down his cheeks as he pleads with his father to make it stop, "please daddy, I'll do anything," cries that are harshly silenced when his father backhands him hard, and spat, "I don't know why I'm so disappointed that you're as useless at this as everything else." When Uncle Alphard drops by later that evening, he is livid at the blotchy bruise across Sirius' cheekbones. Sirius can feel the phantom sensation of Alphard's gentle hands holding him in a rare, safe hug, can hear his voice explaining that under no circumstances are Orion's actions acceptable).

"Sirius."

Words are far too hard right now, and the only sounds he seems capable of making are pathetic whimpers, but he recognises that someone is trying to reach him from where he's trapped – someone knows he is here and suffocating.

"Sirius, you're perfectly safe. You're at work, you're having a panic attack. Can you open your eyes? I want you to see that you're safe."

Sirius is shaking his head violently before the person has even finished speaking, because he don't think he can cope with seeing the world in ruins as it now must be (or worse, the world as it was before, because if it's not in tatters, if it's just his world, how is he supposed to deal with that?).

"Okay. Okay, eyes closed then. I'm not going to touch you," they say, and Sirius feels tears smarting at his eyes. (He can't tell what he wants, because on the one hand, the thought of people – strangers, unknown people – laying hands on him makes him want to hurl, but also, he's an incredibly tactile person and the thought of a warm hug right now makes him physically ache with need).

"We're just going to breathe together, okay? That's all you need to do, and I know it's hard, but you just need to listen to me, and follow me, okay?"

The voice begins to count, and with it, Sirius loses all concept of time. After a while, and what feels like a thousand ragged, counted breaths, he becomes aware that the keening injured animal is in fact him, and the sound cuts off mid-wail. He feels overwhelmed – the combination of embarrassment, anxiety and grief have overtaken his utter panic, but it's still too much.

"You're doing so well, Sirius, that's it. Let's keep breathing a bit longer."

Obediently, Sirius continues to follow the counting breaths (what else can he do?), and slowly – achingly, excruciatingly slowly, he begins to return to himself. He can feel the smooth coolness of the floor beneath him, he can see vague shadows through his scrunched-up eyelids, he can hear the relative quiet of the office, save his noisy breathing and the computer monitors humming. He loosens his grip around himself ever so slightly, and when he doesn't drift apart, he forces himself to open his eyes on the next count of eight.

(When Sirius is eleven, he hides out at Alphard's apartment, which is smaller and drabber than the extravagance of Grimmauld Place, but feels more like a home than anywhere Sirius has ever known. Alphard insists that he teach him to cook, because "one day, little man, you're going to get out of that godawful house and family, and you're going to be free to live how you want to live… but you're going to need to be able to feed yourself!" It's the first time that anyone has expressed belief that Sirius is capable of something more than being a Black, and Sirius has never felt so hopeful and valued before).

It's dazzlingly bright, which hints at how long his meltdown has lasted, and he shrinks back into the shadows under his desk (how did he end up under here?). His muscles are throbbing from being held taut for so long and don't want to support his body weight, so he falls back with a soft thump. A coffee-brown hand reaches out and clasps around his wrist with a gentle tug, preventing him from thwacking his head against the ground.

He pulls himself back up, even though everything in him wants to lie down, curl up and cry. Akilah's concerned expression comes in to view, and Sirius feels another surge of shame at his behaviour.

"Hey, no, Sirius," Akilah catches his mortification, because of course they do, and opens their arms out for a hug. Sirius crawls forward, still humiliated but physically hungry for human contact, and allows himself to be swept in to Akilah's warm embrace. He closes his eyes against their chest (and a tiny part of him points out the enormity of the situation, because Akilah is awkward about their chest and the way it protrudes even under binding), and grounds himself against Akilah's heartbeat. "What happened? Is it the project?"

Sirius shakes his head, feeling a wave of fresh panic rise so fast that it's predatory, and he has to swallow down bile before he can speak. "I don't – um- I can't –" Words are much too much right now, and Sirius fumbles around for his phone, before shoving it in Akilah's direction instead, because the thought of having to say it out loud would mean acknowledging the truth in Regulus' messages, a truth which is too terrible to bear. They hold it steady as he shakily unlocks it, and Sirius can't watch as they read, doesn't want to see the moment they get it.

(He feels it though, because Akilah lets out a barely perceptible sigh and tightens their grip around him).

"What can I do?"

The compassion in their voice overwhelms him, and he feels a hot prickling at the back of his eyes. "I don't kno-w," his voice cracks, and he squeezes his eyes tighter shut, even as tears leak out.

"That's okay," Akilah says immediately, "do you want to go home?"

Sirius nods, even though he's not sure what he wants, but home means his friends and safety, and surely that will feel better than crouching under a desk with his employer.

"Is there someone I can call? I don't want you to be alone, and…" Akilah trails off as Sirius taps at his phone screen again, deliberately not looking at Regulus' messages, and switches it to the WhatsApp conversation he'd been having before – all of this. "Okay. Okay. I'll give them a call," they say, and Sirius feels himself relax the tiniest amount for the first time.

(Nothing is okay. Nothing. He is simultaneously empty of all emotion and overflowing with how overwhelmed he is by it all).

He's not sure how he gets from work to home, because he shuts his eyes again, forces himself to think about literally anything else. When he next opens them, Akilah is speaking and he's been burrito-wrapped in a blanket on James and Lily's couch. The lighting is soft and unobtrusive, the television is on but almost inaudible, and the cushion he's resting his head on is one of the smooth, velvety ones. He can appreciate what Akilah's trying to do, even if he can't feel any gratitude because of it. He vaguely remembers that Lily has a late shift tonight and that James has parents evening, but he doesn't mention either of those things as he's persuading Akilah that they can leave now. It sucks more of his energy than he expected to convince them, and he feels – numb.

He manages to hold it together for as long as it takes to feign half-smiles and reassurances that yes, I'll be fine, my friend will be here soon, I'll call you if there are any issues, but the second Akilah leaves, he's floating again, stitches coming apart at the seams, and he wraps his arms around himself again, pressing his face against the soft cushion until it's hard to breathe.

(Sirius has known for years now, and years of shouldering this kind of secret have worn a tired and heavy ache in to his chest. It's something that is so fundamental to him, no matter how much he wishes it wasn't, and yet, it's not all he is. But he knows his family won't see it like that. Then, one day, when he is fourteen and Alphard has just set a tagine dish before him, he cannot hold on to it any longer, and it comes spilling out of his mouth: "I'm gay." Alphard blinks at him, then smiles broadly, and says "okay. "Thank you for telling me. I love you, Sirius" before spooning a generous helping of couscous on to Sirius' plate. "More couscous?").

There's a knock at the door a little while later, but Sirius doesn't really hear it – or rather, he hears it but cannot register its significance. He huddles himself in to a tighter ball on the sofa, because if he loosens his grip for even a second, he is going to crack and fall apart and lose entire pieces of himself, and there is no coming back from that, he can't, he can't, he can't –

"Padfoot?" There's another knock at the door, and Sirius knows that voice, its familiarity would usually send butterflies fluttering in his belly and warmth around his heart. But not today, not now, not when he feels so incredibly numb and empty and hopeless, nothing can penetrate, nothing can help him.

"Padfoot, I'm coming in now." Sirius blinks and wonders fleetingly how much time has passed since that first knock. He doesn't open his eyes again, instead he squeezes them tighter shut as the door opens, as though he can force himself to wake up out of this nightmare.

Soft footsteps pad in his direction, but he is barely aware of them – he's barely aware of anything on a physical level. He's trapped inside his mind, disconnected from his body, and he knows that his fingers are tingling with a burning ferocity now because his entire arm is dead, but he cannot make himself move it – he doesn't know how anymore.

"Hey," the voice is incredibly gentle, like a wave lapping against the shore. Sirius wills himself to open his eyes. It takes the longest time for his body to get the memo, but when it finally does, the kindest of faces swims in to view. Their eyebrows are knitted in a concerned frown, their eyes are sad and crinkled, mouth turned down at the corners. He knows the name to this face, but his mind is so disconnected that everything's just foggy.

They continue talking, keeping their movements slow and obvious. Sirius lets the white noise wash over him like a tide, and keeps breathing, breathing, breathing. Eventually, it's like the world begins to come back in to sharper focus – shapes around the lovely face gain definition, the words being said make sense to him, and a name floats to the forefront of his brain: Moony. Remus.

"M'ny," he mumbles, and Remus stops talking immediately, moving close enough that Sirius can extract an arm from his blanket nest, reach out a hand and touch his chest.

"Pads," he says, equally softly, and within that single syllable is a multitude of empathy and support.

"Can you-" Sirius reaches for Remus' hands, but his dead arm sends a throb of stinging pain up to his shoulder, and his limb flops uselessly.

With one hand, Remus begins massaging his arm, beginning at his fingertips and working upwards. It sends tiny sparks of pain darting through him, but the sensation is strangely grounding, pulling him back to himself. Remus presses his other hand to Sirius' cheek, and the warmth of his palm seeps through the numbness, thawing the ice that has taken control of his mind.

It takes forever, but eventually, Sirius can wiggle his fingers without pain, and he immediately twists his wrist in Remus' grip, so that their hands slot together like jigsaw pieces. The grounding it gives him makes him sigh inwardly with relief – even more so when Remus shuffles closer, pressing their foreheads together. Sirius closes his eyes, breathing in Remus and all the comfort his scent brings, their lips so close they could kiss, only for once, Sirius has zero interest in kissing him.

Eventually, Remus presses a kiss against their entwined knuckles, and gently slides his fingers away. "I'm going to make us some tea, and then I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you. That okay?"

Sirius nods, even though it's not, and nothing will be okay ever again. Every breath he draws is one that Alphard cannot, and will not, ever again. It's like a knife twisting in his chest.

(He has to count deep breaths whilst Remus is out of the room, pleading with himself to not spiral once more).

Two mugs are placed on the coffee table with a light clunk. A warm weight settles next to him, and he doesn't even open his eyes, crawling blindly in to Remus' lap and pressing his face in to Remus' soft stomach. Remus runs his fingers through Sirius' hair soothingly, drags the blanket tighter around him.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Remus says quietly, and Sirius screws his eyes shut so viciously, it hurts, because those words. He knows people mean well by saying them, but what good does being sorry do? It's as meaningless as sending thoughts and prayers to the victims of a natural disaster – it's a nice gesture, but useless in the long run, and it is always about them, it's not really about the victim. And so, Sirius has always had a complicated relationship with those words – one that is part resentment and part exasperation –

And yet.

When Remus says it, it's different. Because Remus understands the weight of those words, having known his own fair share of loss in his life. And the way Remus says it isn't in an oh-what-a-shame-now-let's-talk-about-me sort of way, nor in a I-feel-so-bad-for-you-right-now way; it's entirely compassionate and empathic and full of the kind of love that Alphard had shown him – one that's unconditional and boundless and pure.

Sirius swallows all of these thoughts down hard, and opens his eyes again, twisting his neck to meet Remus' concerned eyes. He nods simply, cannot smile, and Remus links their fingers together once more.

"You don't have to cope with this alone," Remus says gently but with a firmness that steadies the sick, anxious feeling in Sirius' gut. "You are never alone, but especially not in this."

The tears threaten to return, and if he begins to cry now, he fears that he will never stop. Instead he turns his face back in to Remus' lap, allowing him to continue the head massage and start up a monologue about the impending Bake-Off finale.

"Don't leave," Sirius manages, what feels like hours later, once Remus has entirely wrung out an in-depth analysis of each contestant, before deciding that Ruby's firey-ness reminds him of Alice, and so is his favourite to win.

Remus squeezes him even closer, "never." He presses a kiss in to Sirius' hair, and Sirius feels himself welling up at the tenderness of it. He's not sure how much longer he can keep fighting the tears, though he's not even sure anymore why he's fighting them, he's not ashamed of these emotions, and he knows that Remus would encourage letting it out.

(Somewhere in his scar tissue, however, lies the memory of his pet dog being killed in a car accident, and being forbidden to cry, which has ingrained in him an expectation of punishment for expressing grief through tears).

Soon, James and Lily will be home, and even though he knows Remus has informed them both of the situation, their gentleness and comfort will be overwhelming. He snuggles closer in to Remus' lap, and almost smiles when he hears Remus' stomach let out a small growl.

"Hungry?" he says, in a voice that is scratchy with pent-up emotion, poking Remus fondly, and the other man squirms a little.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Remus counters, and Sirius frowns. Remembering a detail like that seems like it would waste all of the energy he's focusing on breathing and not crying, so he shrugs, because what does it matter? "Sweetheart, you need to eat."

Sirius shrugs again, not wanting to snap at Remus, but can't he see that he doesn't give a shit?

Remus sighs and says, "what if I make a stir fry? Something quick and simple?"

Unable to muster any strong emotions around anything food -related, Sirius shrugs yet again, which Remus seems to take as assent, because he makes to get up. Sirius involuntarily curls closer around Remus, his heart clenching at the thought of being alone again.

"Hey," Remus says so gently that tears spring to his eyes again. (Or maybe all this kindness is the tipping point on how long he can refrain from weeping). "I'm not leaving. You can come with me." He waits for Sirius' reluctant nod before moving again, this time pulling them up together.

Once in the kitchen, Sirius leans his weight against Remus' back, where he's chopping carrots, courgette and pepper in to strips, and wraps his arms loosely around his waist. He closes his eyes, and focuses on the sounds of slicing and sizzling, the smells of soy sauce and frying garlic, the feel of Remus' soft flannel on his cheek.

Eventually, the gas is switched off, and Remus turns with a hum, wrapping his arms around Sirius. "Ready when you are, love," he says softly, but makes no move towards dishing up, instead just holding Sirius like he's something precious and loveable.

The front door opens with them still standing before the hob, and James and Lily sweep in to the room, wearing identical expressions of protective worry. Sirius braces himself for what will surely be a barrage of affection and concern, but to his grateful surprise, they simply join the embrace in silence. Sandwiched between his three favourite people, Sirius cannot stop himself – the relief and the anguish well up inside him, spilling out of his mouth in a strangled sob, as tears begin to stream down his cheeks. As one, his friends draw closer to him, allowing him to collapse his entire body weight against them as he begins to choke on his emotions.

(His grief is sharp and thorny and comes on all sides – every breath he draws, it snatches from him and replaces with barbed wire and spikes that it plunges in to his lungs – it hurts, it hurts so much. There is no pain like this – nothing his parents said to him can compare to the blood-spattered mess his grief is reducing him to –)

(And God, it's never-ending).

Time must pass because his throat is dry and raw from the gasping, wretched sobs that have been ripped from it, and the front of Remus' shirt is entirely sodden with his tears and snot and saliva, and he aches all over from curling into himself like this. But he doesn't feel any of it. He feels nothing except the huge gashing hole where his peace and his contentment once were; now there is only anguish and pain. But eventually his body cries out in surrender, and his sobbing ceases all at once.

"Padfoot?" James says, very softly, gently touching the nape of Sirius' neck. When Sirius doesn't flinch away, he moves his hand up in to Sirius' dark curls, running his fingers through the tangles soothingly. Lily stands with a stiff difficulty, but Sirius doesn't raise his head to track her movements. Instead, he presses further in to Remus' chest, even though the dampness is awful, and Remus is probably sick of him –

"Sirius," Lily has returned, and Sirius lifts his face slightly to see her holding a washcloth. He closes his eyes, allowing her to wipe his eyes – his make-up is long-since ruined, but the warmth of the flannel soothes his sore cheeks and gets rid of the gross stickiness. When she's done, she sits back, looking more helpless than he's ever seen her – Lily is fiercely capable and dependable, and the sight of her looking so unsure is – frankly – terrifying.

Sirius takes a breath, and looks at James, who seems equally lost. With the two people he's come to count on most so powerless, he feels the ground begin to crumble beneath him, but he's saved from slipping through the cracks by Remus (because of course he is).

"Food. Bath. Bed. Cuddles. In that order. Non-negotiable."

It's rare for Remus to give orders – he is much more a follower than a leader, and Sirius means that in the best way, because there is nobody he'd rather have as a deputy. But the unusualness of the situation means that when he does take command, everybody snaps to attention immediately.

James hops up and begins reheating the stir-fry, whilst Lily makes them tea – peppermint by the scent of it. Remus helps Sirius to his feet, keeps an arm around his waist as he guides him to the sofa, and allows him to crawl back in to his lap. Minutes later, James and Lily come in with four steaming bowls and mugs. The heat of the bowl on his lap is uncomfortable, and the smell makes his stomach roll, but he knows that none of his friends will let him get away without eating, so he lifts a noodle wrapped around a carrot to his lips, and chews without tasting.

He manages half a bowl before he feels uncomfortably full and pushes the bowl away with a scowl. He knows he's being a bit of a brat, but he feels like he's earned it right now. Remus looks a little sad at the amount left in the bowl, but he doesn't push for more – it's just as well.

True to his word, Remus takes him in to the bathroom, and runs a bath in James and Lily's ridiculously big tub. He holds an Intergalactic bath bomb beneath the stream of hot water, because he knows that it's Sirius' favourite, and Sirius stares as the water swirls in to sparkling navy blue, glittering colours whirling across the surface. Remus leaves as Sirius undresses, but returns once he's in the water, and keeps up a steady stream of meaningless chatter. Sirius half-listens as Remus babbles on about the upcoming US elections, the dogs he saw today on his walk to work, his new medication and its side effects… the other half he is careful to keep on the water and not the intrusive memories that are attempting to barge through his mind.

But the warmth of the water is doing the trick. Sirius can feel the heat seeping in to his aching muscles, loosening the knots that have formed, and he relaxes just a fraction. And then a little more.

And then suddenly, Remus is stroking his hair back from his face, and the water is only lukewarm and he's so incredibly tired. Remus holds up a fluffy towel for him to step in to, and then hugs it around Sirius. They stay like that for a few minutes, just breathing, and it's nice and intimate and tender, and Sirius has to go and ruin it all by shivering, doesn't he?

Remus immediately whisks him to his bedroom, where a pair of fluffy pyjamas are waiting atop his pillow, and Sirius slips beneath the covers gratefully, his head heavy and groggy and sad. Remus presses a kiss to his damp hair, and then makes to leave, but Sirius growls, snagging his wrist, and yanking, so that Remus stumbles on top of the sheets.

"You want me to stay?" Remus says, as though the way Sirius is tugging the duvet around him isn't evidence enough, and Sirius refrains from rolling his eyes, if only because it would use his final scraps of energy.

"Obviously," he murmurs, and Remus smiles. He joins Sirius under the covers, and their limbs immediately tangle as Sirius curls around him. Remus wraps an arm around his shoulders, and Sirius pillows on to his chest, and it's so very nice and warm and safe.

"Good night, Padfoot," Remus whispers, as Sirius' eyelids close for the final time that night.

"G'night, M'ny," he slurs back, and swears he feels a kiss press against his cheek before he's off to the stars, floating in a galaxy of dreams and memories.

As peacefully as he slept, and as lovely as it is to wake up being spooned by Remus, his breath tickling the nape of Sirius' neck, the warm glowing contentment he feels pops like a balloon the second he remembers.

Remus is awake the moment he sucks in a choked sob, rolling him in to his arms and allowing him to weep in to his chest.

"It's not fair," Sirius manages, after what could be a few minutes, could be an hour. Then he feels like an idiot for saying so, because Remus knows that better than anyone. "It's not fair that he's gone and they're still here when he was a better man than – than –"

"I know, love," Remus says softly, but he lets Sirius throw his temper tantrum against his chest as he holds him, because he truly is a saint and Sirius does not deserve him.

There's a knock at the door, and Sirius freezes, before burrowing beneath the covers and tucking himself in to Remus' squish. The logical part of his brain – which obviously hasn't woken up yet – knows that it's just James and Lily, and they won't give a shit that he's tear-stained and sleepy. But the bigger part just wants to be left alone, so he doesn't emerge when Remus says, "come in," in his lovely, gravelly sleep-voice.

"Morning," James says, and the sound of mugs being placed on a hard surface stirs Sirius' interest – coffee? Tea? Water? He's so thirsty that any of those would be a dream. He pokes his head out of the covers, spies the coffee mug and launches himself towards it.

"Hey," Remus says, smiling fondly at Sirius' antics, "I would have passed that to you, you know?"

Sirius shrugs, settles himself against Remus' side, and carefully balances the mug on his knees, taking a sip even though it's scalding. Remus cards his fingers against Sirius' scalp - a sensation that usually makes him sag with pleasure, but today barely registers through the foggy grief-exhaustion-anxiety-sadness haze he's under.

"What's the plan today?" James asks, and the question is obviously directed at Sirius, but Sirius struggles to focus - it's all meaningless chatter to Sirius, because his world has shifted forever, why hasn't everybody else got the memo that everything is utterly wrong without -

"I'm at school until half five this evening," James tries, "and Lily's working till seven-"

"But I can swap shifts with Dirk, Sirius, if you'd like me to stay."

Sirius is already shaking his head, because the thought of being such a burden to either of them is unbearable - he cannot handle that sort of guilt on top of his already overwhelming load. (Even if the thought of being alone with his thoughts for a whole day is also unbearable - he will deal).

Remus clears his throat, "I have a day-off today. I can be here all day if you'll have me. Just need to get Alice to feed Winky," he says, and Sirius feels the relief like a shield, protecting him from the awfulness of his own mind. James and Lily seem similarly relieved, and Sirius feels a surge of both love that they care so much and irritation that they don't trust him to be alone. (His head is a fucking mess, and he's too tired to examine his conflicting emotions).

In lieu of having to come up with a verbal response, Sirius leans in to Remus' touch, and forms lazy half-signs, 'stay with me. Please.'

Remus murmurs, "always," quiet enough that even though James and Lily are watching intently, it's an intimacy that's just for the two of them.

Silence falls and Remus plays with Sirius' hair and Sirius' coffee cools and Alphard is dead.

(These are the facts, but they feel more like knives through his chest).

There's something else that needs to be said - Sirius can see it in the way that James and Lily, as in sync as ever, keep exchanging glances full of worry. But neither of them say a word, and the silence stretches longer and bigger and worse. Eventually, when he can't stand the tension anymore, he spits, "if you've got something to say, then say it, won't you?" It's harsher than he intends, and James flinches, but Sirius can't bring himself to feel guilty for his bluntness. (If things were different, he would be beating himself up for being so shitty towards his closest friends. Then again, if things were different, Sirius wouldn't even be feeling so numb to it all in the first place).

It's Lily who asks the question that they're all itching to, because Lily is the bravest of them all.

"We were just wondering when the funeral is, Sirius?" No matter how gently she asks it, Sirius' heart still shatters in to a thousand tiny shards, and it hurts - it hurts so much, how can she just say it like it's not rending the world in two.

Remus seems to sense something, because he reaches out and catches the mug just before it falls off Sirius' knee as he shifts violently, blindly lunging for something - anything to make it hurt less. He shoves his face into his knees, hugging his legs to his chest as tightly as he can, and he breathes, the raggedness of his broken heart still aching with every inhale.

There's a hand on his shoulder - too large for Lily's, too warm for James' - and even though everything in him wants to shrug it off, it grounds him enough that he can find the words to say to his knees, "it doesn't matter. I'm not allowed to go."

The grip on his shoulder tightens abruptly. "What the hell does that mean?" says Remus sharply.

"My - my parents don't want me there."

"When has that ever stopped you from doing anything?" James says incredulously.

"This is different," Sirius insists, "Reg says - they've barred me, and -"

"Barred you?"

"What the actual fuck," hisses Remus, and Sirius looks up in surprise at the venom in his tone. The hold on his shoulder is hard enough to bruise (and Sirius would know), and Remus mouth is a grim slash. "How the fuck are they so fucking evil, I will kill them-"

"Moony-" James says pointedly, but Remus shakes his head.

"They know how special Alphard is - was - to Sirius - they are doing this on purpose, and I cannot -"

"Moony."

"Don't Moony me, Prongs, how dare they bar him - this is so fucking unfair, that's-"

(Remus has removed his hand from Sirius' shoulder, but it's now shaking with how hard his nails are clenched into his palm, and Sirius would rather a thousand times that it was him Remus was hurting).

"Remus." Remus finally falls silent at James' I'm-a-teacher sternness, but still glowers defiantly. "Do you think this is helpful?" He nods his head at Sirius, who suddenly becomes aware that his cheeks are damp.

Remus has the grace to look ashamed as he deflates. Keeping his movements as obvious as possible, he moves back to Sirius' side, taking up his hand and twining their fingers. "I'm sorry," he says softly, and Sirius nods distractedly - he doesn't even know why he's crying, and he's more concerned with where Remus' nails have dug into his palms. Remus raises their joined hands, uses the pad of his own thumb to wipe Sirius' cheeks, and it's so tender it stings the raw edges of Sirius' broken heart.

James moves to Sirius' other side, and Sirius leans tiredly against his side - it's not even eight am and he just wants to sleep until he wakes up from this nightmare. Lily tucks his feet into her lap, shuffling closer, and for a moment, Sirius' sniffles are the only sound.

Eventually, James breaks it - "We can find out where they're - um. Where he'll be buried. And then we can go and pay respects. I know it's not the same, Pads, but -"

"Yes." Sirius says, unable to meet anyone's eyes, because he's terrified he'll see Alphard's disappointment that he can't even bring himself to stand up to his parents on this one small thing. Instead, Remus presses a kiss to his temple and Lily squeezes his leg gently.

"I'm proud of you, love," James murmurs, "we all are."

"For what?" Sirius says bitterly, "Alphard's the bravest man I know - knew. This isn't-"

"Having the courage to make yourself a priority is brave," Lily says fiercely.

James nods in agreement, "if you went to the funeral, you'd be seeing your abusers again. You'd be understandably anxious about that, and about making a scene, and you wouldn't get to actually say the goodbyes you need to. I know you know this."

"Sometimes self-protection is the bravest thing you can do," Remus says quietly, and Sirius closes his eyes. He wants to take their kindness and force his mind to accept it - to shove it at the voice that calls him a coward and shut it up because it's wrong, dammit.

But he's so tired and sad and empty, and the combination is too much for one person to manage. He curls into Remus' lap, facing away from the world's compassion that he can't quite convince himself he deserves. Remus returns to stroking through his hair in silence whilst Sirius wallows, and eventually James and Lily have to leave with kisses and well-wishes and the promise that they are only a phone call away.

(Sirius isn't alone - not emotionally, and certainly not physically - but he's alone in the intensity of this feeling. It's an exhausting, constant wave of grief that continually shudders through him, and it wears him down to the extent that he's slipping into a restless sleep once more).

It's Remus who phones into Sirius' work, explains the situation with a levelness that Sirius could never have managed, and arranges for compassionate leave. It's Remus who alerts their wider group of friends to the circumstances, details what he needs from each of them - knows what he needs from each of them - and responds to the overwhelming tidal wave of well-wishes. It's Remus who sits in silence with him for hours at a time, willing to listen when Sirius feels like talking (which isn't often, especially in the beginning), and ready to talk when Sirius' head is too loud and overwhelmed (which is often).

The next few days are not a blur. Sirius remembers them in sharp painful detail, and every breath aches like an old wound. He does his best to keep busy - he and Remus go to Richmond Park, trample through the snow-laden fields, walk as far as Remus' aching bones will allow. Remus takes him to the newest exhibition on Aboriginal art at the RA, and he wishes that his mind felt less foggy to appreciate its beauty and individuality. The two of them bake cookies - gingerbread shaped like dreidels - and binge the entirety of One Day At A Time and completely sort through Sirius' wardrobe.

It helps to keep himself occupied, because it prevents the memories from forcing their way through, though not even the sight of Remus with flour on the tip of his nose is enough to lift Sirius' spirits.

He's not sure why it hurts so much – he hasn't seen Alphard for a year, at least, and even then, their relationship has shifted from a paternal one to something like distant friends. The closeness had fallen by the wayside (and doesn't Sirius just loathe himself for allowing that to happen?) when Sirius had found friends he could rely on and a life he loved.

And yet it hurts so fucking much.

Perhaps it's the fact that he used Alphard's money to escape and rebuild his life afresh, without once going to actually visit his uncle and tell him how grateful he is. Perhaps it's the niggling voice in his head that whispers that Alphard knew about the abuse but still did nothing to remove him from it. Perhaps most painful of all, it's that in spite of the awfulness of his upbringing, his memories of Alphard are among his most nostalgic, but recalling them in a world where Alphard lives no longer is unbearable.

He finds himself going to text Alphard when he stumbles upon a recipe Alphard would have loved. He has to force himself to put down the scarf he's unthinkingly picked up for Alphard's Christmas present. He thinks of him when he hears Vivaldi, and when he passes bouquets of red flowers, and when he sees a deer frolicking through the fields, and suddenly his memory is everywhere.

(And it's unbearable).

(He's so, so tired).

Remus doesn't leave. That thought is the one that Sirius wakes up and lies down to. Every time he reaches for him, Remus is there before the thought has even fully formed. Every time his breathing becomes too tight and everything too much, Remus has his hands clasped in his own and is counting steady exaggerated breaths. Every time he begins to cry and doesn't know how or whether he'll ever stop, Remus holds him close and lets him sob in to his stomach, offering nothing but kindness and love and support.

And it should feel suffocating – like having an overly-attentive shadow, only… it's actually the biggest comfort he can imagine? Having someone who knows him so intimately means that he doesn't have to put into words how terrible he feels - because Remus gets it, and he gets him. James and Lily are, of course, wonderful, but it's Remus, and it's always been Remus, and there's nobody else Sirius would rather have by his side. Remus validates him and supports him and loves him unconditionally - and he knows any of his friends would do so too. But it's Remus.

(He spends a lot of his time wrapped around Remus' warm body, hands clasped together, Remus massaging his shoulders and neck, scratching his scalp, it's all Remus-Remus-Remus, and the tactile side of Sirius that craves physical contact is in bliss).

(Even if nothing else is).

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Lost Part 7

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 6

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- smut

_____

“Time to be a good girl…”

You repeated the thought again before stepping into your bedroom. The room was cool and quiet as you waited to see if you could hear the television. Your parents would be so lost in their Christmas specials that they wouldn’t realize their youngest daughter was being ravaged by her boyfriend (whom they thought was a perfect angel).

“Reggie?”

You whispered his name as you went to flip on the light. A hand immediately caught yours as you were turned and pushed against the wall.

“Leave it off, for now.”

Regulus’ voice was calm and cold as he took both of your hands in his and held them over your head.

“You’ve kept me waiting.”

“Yeah, for maybe 10 minutes.”

You replied, sounding a little sassier than planned. Regulus chuckled in the dark before shoving his body against yours.

“I should shut that smart mouth up.”

You bit your lip. He wanted to play his games and tonight you were more than excited about it.

“You said that you had a surprise for me?”

Regulus tilted your face to his. You could see his face in the moonlight. He gave you a little sneer before leaning down. Thinking that you were going to get a kiss, you puckered your lips waiting to feel his mouth on yours. When you didn’t get the sensation that you wanted, your eyes snapped open.

“Only good girls get surprises. You’re being a bit too snarky.”

Regulus replied.

“I was good all night.”

You protested. Regulus finally leaned down to kiss you. You kissed him, perhaps a little too eagerly.

“So why was my brother watching us all night?”

Regulus asked. He had let go of your hands and backed away from you at this point. Walking across the room, he sat down in the armchair in the corner. Regulus put his arms behind his head and stretched his legs out as if he owned the whole damn place.

“I think that he’s concerned about us. He actually asked if we ran off and got married.”

Regulus patted his lap.

“Come here, love.”

You didn’t wait to be told twice before rushing across the room and taking your place on his lap. Regulus was silent for a few moments as you lavished attention on his cheeks and neck.

“What did you tell him?”

“No, of course. I think he is just worried because of your family…”

“I would consider him a fool if he didn’t worry.”

Regulus replied. His left hand gently reached up your leg and stopped at the hem of your dress.

“I remember something about black lace knickers.”

He commented. You quickly jumped off of Regulus’ lap and hastily unzipped your dress. The garment hit the floor leaving you only in the lace thong that you had picked out when shopping with Lily the day before. To your relief, Lily hadn’t asked any questions. Had she noticed, she would probably be ��checking up on you” at that very moment.

“They’re new...I bought these yesterday.”

You commented, knowing that you were probably offering information that Regulus didn’t care about. He had flipped the small reading lamp on and was looking you over like a hawk. Those grey eyes studied each and every inch of your body. Tonight, the two of you had more time to do whatever you wanted and he was going to enjoy every moment of it.

“Let me see the back.”

Regulus ordered. You turned, feeling his eyes on your ass.

“I like them. Back on my lap, sweetheart.”

You quickly sat back down as Regulus manhandled you so that your back was against his chest. He reached out and slowly rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. You swallowed back a ball of tension the moment that the dark mark on his arm came into view.

“Be sure to bring these back to school.”

Regulus commented as his left hand began to slide up your body. You gasped as he greedily cupped your breast and tugged at your nipple.

“Hush now. We don’t want mummy and daddy knowing what we are doing in here, do we?”

Regulus whispered in your ear. You frantically shook your head as Regulus nuzzled his face against your neck.

“That’s a good girl. Where do you want me to touch you first?”

You quickly grabbed Regulus’ hand and placed it over your knicker covered mound. He slowly started circling your clit with his middle finger. You pressed your lips together to stop a moan from coming out.

“Keep quiet. You can’t let mum and dad hear.”

You though, trying to keep your moan to a minimum. Regulus dropped his mouth back to your ear as he slid his hand into your knickers.

“Love, you’re so wet. Too bad you can’t moan too loud. I love hearing you cry my name.”

“Reggie, you’re killing me.”

You whimpered. Regulus laughed evilly.

“Poor baby.”

You clenched your eyes closed as his long fingers teased at your entrance. Turning your head, you shoved your lips against his as Regulus pushed two fingers inside. The realization that this was one of the more erotic things that you had ever done hit you like a brick. You were on your lover's lap while he finger fucked you with your parents and sister right down the hall.

Regulus quickly took over control in the hungry french kisses. He knew that if he didn’t keep his mouth on yours, you would be crying his name in no time.

“I’m close.”

You whispered. Regulus gave you a mirthful grin before yanking his hand out of your knickers. Your eyes snapped open as you thought about protesting but stopped yourself.

“That was mean.”

Regulus gave you that sarcastic little sneer that he was so good at.

“Why don’t you go lay down on the bed and I’ll show you what I brought.”

You jumped off of Regulus’ lap and raced to your bed.. Laying down, you looked at Regulus with those “I have been very good” eyes that usually got you what you wanted. Regulus liked to think that he had complete control of the situation when it came to making love like this but you knew that you were the one with control.

Regulus, meanwhile, stood up and slowly began to unbutton his shirt. He tossed it carelessly to the armchair that he had been sitting in.

“Lose the pants too.”

You demanded earning a smile from Regulus.

“Soon.”

Regulus quickly took his place over you on the bed. Placing a knee on either side of your body, he reached to his back pocket and pulled out his school tie. Regulus couldn’t help but smile the moment that the realization clicked in his mind.

“That’s crafty.”

You commented as Regulus took both of your hands and his and raised them above your head. He wrapped the tie around your wrists and headboard.

“This was the surprise?”

You asked. Regulus nodded.

“Yes, try to get out of that.”

You attempted to move your hands but were unable to. Regulus appeared to be thrilled with his handiwork before leaning back. This was just like at school. You wouldn’t be going anywhere that Regulus didn’t want you to.

Meanwhile, you moved your hands again before smiling up at him. It had been a long time since the two of you had done something like this and you were more than thrilled for this to be happening.

“You know that I like this...and the fact you brought your school tie…”

You said fighting the pangs of desire going through your body. Regulus smirked as he stroked his fingers over your breasts and stomach.

“I figured that you would enjoy that detail.”

Regulus slowly moved his position off of you to pull the lace knickers up. Sliding a hand back over your mound, he stroked you for a few moments before releasing the lace material and letting it playfully snap against your body. You squealed at the impact as Regulus shoved his hand over your mouth.

“Love, you’re going to get us in trouble. Hush, now.”

You nodded and placed your hand over Regulus’ taking your time to stroke over each of his fingers. Regulus didn’t move for a moment.

“Good girl.”

He praised before taking his hand away. His grey eyes fell down to your knickers.

“Maybe we should take these off? Ass up, sweetheart.”

Regulus suggested before tugging the fabric over your hips and down your legs. You whimpered realizing that you were totally naked while Regulus still had his dress pants on. Trying to move your hands, the frustration of not being able to touch your lover was beginning to set in. Regulus chuckled, his voice dropping an octave.

“You’re not touching me...might as well get over it. As for me...well, I can do what I want.”

You swallowed back a sigh as Regulus leaned down for a kiss. The kiss was sweetly innocent. His hands, however, was the devious party. Regulus cupped your breasts as he shoved the plump flesh together.

Leaning down, Regulus took your left nipple into his mouth. He nipped at the tender flesh as his right hand continued to tease the right nipple before letting his hand slide down your body. The moment that his hand came into contact with your core, you could have come.

“Don’t think about it.”

Regulus muttered as he kissed the nipple that he had been paying so much attention to. Grey eyes rolled up to yours as he got off of the bed. You bit your lip as Regulus unbuckled his belt and pushed his trousers down his slender hips.

“Would you like a nice blowjob?”

You asked, licking your lips. Regulus smiled and shook his head.

“This is all about you, sugar. Now, I would rather taste those pretty lips.”

Regulus took his place on top of you and came back for another kiss. You sighed as he nibbled on your bottom lip. Right as he was about to start teasing your tongue with his there was a knock at the locked door. Regulus was glaring over his shoulder as your mother’s voice came from the other side.

“Sweetheart, are you still awake?”

Regulus looked down at you with a raised eyebrow. His hair had started to fall into his eyes as he mouthed “answer her.”

“I’m just finishing up a homework assignment and getting changed, mum.”

You choked out as Regulus started rubbing his cock against your clit. It took all that you had to not start moaning as Regulus grinned like the little devil that he was. Your cheeks were blood red as you realized the situation that you were in. Your mother stood on the other side of the door while you were tied to your bed with your boyfriend about to fuck you. Regulus was obviously enjoying himself with the whole thing too.

“Reggie, please.”

You whispered, pleading for him to behave for just a moment. He shook his head before pushing just the tip inside of you. Teasing your entrance, he watched with a devilish little grin as you tried to focus on not moaning while your mother was on the other side of the door.

“Okay, sweetheart. You’re father and I are going to bed. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

You managed to get out. Regulus waited until he heard her footsteps on the stairs before looking back at you smugly.

“Regulus Arcturus Black, you could have gotten us in trouble.”

Regulus quickly shoved the rest of the way in.

“Mummy needs to go away. It's my turn to have you.”

He commented.

“Dirty boy.”

You replied with a smile. The smile alone told Regulus that you weren’t mad. He set a slow steady rhythm. It wasn’t fast enough to make you want to come but enough to set a maddening sensation in your tummy.

“You like it though.”

Regulus groaned. He reached up and undid the tie that held your hands above your head.

“Turn on your stomach.”

Regulus commanded as he pulled out to let you do as you were told. You had barely got situated with your ass when Regulus shoved back in. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to your spine.

“Hold on to the headboard, love.”

You quickly did as you were told. As soon as your hands wrapped around the bars, Regulus increased his speed. You were thankful for your headboard at this point.

“Damn it, I want to make noise.”

Regulus growled. You frantically nodded.

“Me too.”

“I want to make you scream.”

Regulus grunted. You shoved your face into your pillow and screamed as loud as you could.

“Well, that works...could be better though…”

Twenty minutes later, you lay snuggled against Regulus’ chest. His long fingers stroked through your hair as he waited for your breathing to return to normal.

“Maybe the next time we meet up to have sex, if we aren’t back at school, we can sneak off to a hotel or something.”

You suggested. Regulus smiled.

“We could always go to one of my family's estates? We aren’t using all of them at the same time. Besides...we could play house and see what it’s going to be like eventually.”

You smiled against his chest.

“That would be nice.”

Over the next week, Regulus would sneak out to come to see you as much as he could. This morning in particular, the two of you sat at a small cafe in London. You sat snuggled against Regulus’ side as the two of you sat quietly whispering to each other.

“So you really meant it? We are going to be open about being boyfriend and girlfriend at school? What if it gets back to your parents?”

You questioned as Regulus took a sip of the tea in front of him. Putting the cup down, he turned his attention back to you. He was thankful that the little cafe was drafty. This provided all of the more excuse for you to be as close to him as possible.

“Don’t worry about my family. If anyone says anything either Evan or myself will take care of whoever it is.”

You were surprised. Evan Rosier was okay with Regulus dating you...a muggle-born? What was this world coming to? Better yet, what did Regulus threaten Evan with to make his best friend okay with this?

“Reggie, how is Evan okay with us as a couple?”

Regulus shrugged.

“I think he was sick of me being a miserable bastard. Plus the whole Slytherins adoring Hufflpuffs seems to actually be a thing. Evan may be a difficult and disagreeable dick at times but he actually cares about my happiness...you make me happy so Evan is looking the other way. If he suddenly decides our being together is a problem...well, it won’t end great for him.”

You snuggled your face against his shoulder as the door to the cafe opened and closed.

“Regulus?”

Both Regulus and yourself looked up to see none other than Orion Black looking down at you...

_______

@amelie-black

@realgaytrash

@truly-insatiable

@nikki-sixx-is-daddy

@swinginsoulbailiffrascal

@velveteencurls

@kitkatkl

@bisou-doux

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@hankypranky

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@summer-novak

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@stuckinsaudi1

@knight-of-gleefulness

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@shaylybaby2032

@emiwrites3reads

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

@shitfaceddaniel

@spiderxalmighty

@wontlookaway

@mycuddlycorner