#Rebuilding

[th3-0bjectivist]

"Spiral Skysill" - Acrylic paint on canvas

[dissociationdude]

RIPPED MYSELF APART (FOR US)

clay on canvas digitally edited

[ID: a clay sculpture on canvas of a body, with chunks of clay missing from the piece. hand written blue and yellow text across the page reads “I ripped myself apart trying to rebuild the idea of us”]

[wiirocku]

Ezra 5:11 (ESV) - And this was their reply to us: ‘We are the servants of the God of heaven and earth, and we are rebuilding the house that was built many years ago, which a great king of Israel built and finished.

[hypnotic-kink]

Made it thru Hurricane Idalia … house flooded, yes that sucks, and is not inhabitable at the moment and some damage outside. I’m out of harms way and the house is still standing so staying positive. I told Idalia she’s not welcome at my house ever again 🤣 Prayers to all the people hit worse and lost more than me further north 🙏🏻 I’m stressed out but I am grateful in a weird way, it could’ve been even worse.

[scribbling-punk]

Rebuilding

Lena sits alone in the restaurant with a glass of scotch pressed close to her palm, her jaw working harshly as she silently fumes. Kara had promised that she wouldn’t miss their date this evening, that celebrating 15 years of marriage would come before anything going on at work, but after sitting here alone for almost an hour, Lena has to accept that Kara has either forgotten or bailed.

She sighs, her back teeth furiously grinding as she gestures for the waiter to bring the check. It’s typical, really, and Lena wonders why she’s even surprised considering they’ve barely shared a word that hasn’t been about the kids in months.

Lena throws back the rest of her scotch and pays the check as soon as it arrives, ignoring the awkwardly apologetic smile from the waiter who has realized that Lena has been stood up. Smoothing down her dress, Lena heads towards the exit and hails the first cab that passes, her lips pursed with disapproval as she pulls her cell phone out of her purse and checks her messages.

There’s still nothing from Kara.

The apology text will come later, but it will mean very little and they’ll no doubt argue about this tomorrow; just like they always do.

It doesn’t take long to reach their apartment building and Lena offers the cab driver a generous tip before she heads inside. She doesn’t look in the mirror inside the elevator, unwilling to see the disappointment that she knows must be etched on her features—disappointment that Lena is quick to hide beneath a mask of indifference as she steps into their apartment.

She pays the babysitter and makes sure the kids didn’t give the teenager any problems before closing the door behind her and blowing out a heavy sigh. Lena remembers a time when they were happy, when she and Kara were a solid team who made time for themselves on a weekly basis; taking a break from the kids to make sure that they were on the same wavelength.

Now, though, Lena wonders if they’d even still have a conversation if it weren’t for the children sleeping across the apartment.

Kicking off her shoes, Lena pads across the apartment and quietly opens the door to their daughter’s room. The little one is sound asleep, bathed warmly in the glow of her nightlight and her blankets half hanging off the bed. Elizabeth is a puppy sleeper—as Kara once called it—and Lena smiles softly as she tucks the blankets back into place and tenderly kisses the 6 year old’s forehead.

She checks on Kieran next, the pre-teen still awake and reading a comic on his bed. He looks up when Lena slips into his room and perches on the edge of his bed, his brow instantly crinkling as she easily spots the weariness on his mother’s face.

“Did Mama miss your date?”

The again is wisely left off, but Lena still catches it. 

She reaches out to smooth his hair, her palm cupping his cheek for a brief second. He’s getting so big these days and Lena wonders how much longer she has left before shows of affection like this are shrugged off in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it, buddy.”

The first 4 parts are live and ready to read early on Patreon!

[kobzars]

The Ukrainian land has been forced to recover from bloody wars, famines and natural disasters many times before.

Deitz Joseph, series of etchings "Rebuilding", 1947

[dramioneasks]

The Fixer-Upper Club - CharliPetidei - M, 23 chapters, Words: 140,453 - Since the war, Hogwarts castle has been left in a state of disrepair, not unlike some of the students within its crumbling walls. When Hermione decides to return for an eighth year of studies, she finds herself setting out on a restorative journey that might just fix more than a few broken windows. The one where Hermione and Draco rebuild the castle, themselves, and each other. Winner of Overall Favourite, Best Hermione Characterisation, Best Draco Characterisation, Best Supporting Cast, and Runner-Up for Best Intimate Moment in the Dramione+ 50K Classic competition 2021.

[b-radley66]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Borderlines Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Ensemble Cast - BAN, Saavik Additional Tags: The Lost Era (2293 - 2364), Border Patrol, Crew as Family Series: Part 2 of Borderlines Book V: Mothers and Fathers Summary:

Our heroes continue to build and come closer. Paths are chosen with new homes.

[meimeiherokitten]

So, my duckies, remember how I said there wasn't enough JimenIz first out there? I'm fixing that.

CHAPTER 1

[gawki]

Hey I'm on hive social. 🐝🐝

[thedarkbloomlife]

"How many scars did you have to justify, because you loved the person holding the knife?"

[dougielombax]

After Kinger explodes, Zooble or Caine will usually reassemble him very quickly like in Lego Star Wars.

Probably….

[myrmeraki]

on (re)building

episode XIX, black sails / if beale street could talk, james baldwin / epilogue, shoot around- suspu / x men origins: magneto (unmade) / utopian futures, kimya dawson / epilogue, shoot around-suspu / walking dead vol 16: a larger world, robert kirkman / miracle mile, 1988 / good bones, maggie smith / x men origins: magneto (unmade)

[thatonebirdwrites]

I wrote this in September 2023 about Forgiveness and Repair on Mastodon. Wanted to share here (Edited for clarity).

Content Note: discussion of abuse and conversion therapy

Thoughts on Forgiveness

A lot of people believe that forgiveness is necessary for healing, and that forgiving others is crucial. That forgiveness is for other people.

Those are all false.

Forgiveness cannot be realized or become authentic if the person who caused the harm does not engage in repair. Forgiveness isn't just words -- it's a process that requires a foundation of repair before it can be fully realized.

Forgiveness is never about forgetting. It's never about leaving it in the past. To forgive and forget isn't true forgiveness, instead, it's simply denial. The harm still happened. The hurt still lies coiled within the survivor. Trust is still broken.

The person who did the harm? They must hold themselves accountable and engage in repair if healing is to be found. But even then, it is up to the survivor (the one hurt) to decide if they wish to even participate in that process. Honoring that decision is crucial. Repair cannot be forced. It must be consensual.

Without repair, those that caused harm are likely to do the harm again. So it ends up a cycle, where the person causing harm demands forgiveness but yet continues the harmful behavior.

Forgiveness is a bridge that the survivor builds atop the foundation of repair, but that bridge will fall if there is no foundation to hold it up. If the repair by the one who harmed is inauthentic, then the foundation is flawed and cracked. And the bridge will disintegrate.

I have been there, where I tried to build forgiveness bridges in a wild hope that things will improve, that healing could happen. Except, the other person refused to engage in repair, and that hope turned to despair and bitterness.

Instead, the person build faulty foundations, called it accountability, and my forgiveness bridge shattered every time. I fell into the turbulent rapids of pain due to the cycle of harm that did not stop.

I used the words "I forgive you" as a shield to de-escalate the harm before it reached really scary levels, but my words weren't authentic at that point. It was only said to help me survive a bad situation. The one harming me had no intention of engaging in repair, thus it was healthier for me to exit that entirely.

Forgiveness cannot be healing if the harm continues to happen. The wounds from the harm hasn't been given space or care to heal. If someone continues to stab you, your stab wounds will never heal.

You must exit the situation to find healing.

Repair -- Or for those that cause harm how to repair that

By engaging in repair, trust is slowly rebuilt, healing is given space to happen, and that opens up the possibility of forgiveness.

Repair is accountability. Repair differs based on situation and persons involved. One way it can look:

Acknowledge harm done and impact.

Offer repair and ask if the other is open to it. (Consent is always crucial).

Offer ideas on repair and ask the other what their ideas of repair may look like. Be willing and open to this process as it won't be easy.

Follow-through on the agreed upon repair. This builds the foundation of trust.

Communication is crucial as is consent. Hold oneself accountable.

By holding oneself accountable and doing actions to repair the harm, one shows that trust is possible again, that healing of the relationship/friendship is possible.

The forgiveness bridge cannot exist without the foundation of repair completed by the one who harmed. It is the survivor's choice to build that forgiveness bridge or not. No one else can make that decision for the survivor.

Forgiveness as a Process

Forgiveness is a process and demand for a better present and future. It is a reflection on the past and its impact.

Forgiveness is a hope that things are and will continue to improve, that the repair is authentic, and that healing is given space to thrive.

For that healing of relationships/friendships/etc to actually happen? For that hope to be fulfilled?

Repair must be done.

Forgiveness is more than words. It's a process.

A process that starts with the other holding themselves accountable and engaging in repair with the consent of those involved. Again, repair cannot be forced. Through this, those involved rebuild a foundation of hope and trust.

In this process, something new is built in the ruins of the old. We can't ever return to what was, but we can build something from the remains of that. Or we can burn the remains and build a different foundation with the consent of those involved. How the healing journey manifests is unique to each of us, and no one journey will ever look the same as another's healing journey.

Forgiveness is not necessary for healing, and it is okay for a survivor to choose to not build that bridge. It's okay to not forgive the harm done.

Forgiveness and repair are simply a process for rebuilding, which is a journey we can take or we can choose not to take. Each of those possible decisions are valid.

My Story as an Example

I'm a survivor of conversion therapy. I had a friend who pushed me to do it, because that was what she'd been taught. She'd been saturated by anti-LGBT messages, so that was all she knew.

After I escaped and started my healing journey, I still talked with her off and on.

She asked for forgiveness once, and I replied, "Can I trust that you won't do this to me again? Or to anyone else?"

She looked at me and considered my question with an intensity I'd never seen from her before, and she said, "Yes. I will work toward that, and I hope I can earn it back."

She followed through and proved that her words were true. That is when I realized I could forgive her, because she engaged in repair. Because she showed that she meant it.

That friend build a strong foundation, proved she was trustworthy, and so I decided it safe enough to place my forgiveness bridge on that foundation.

In contrast:

My parents, who drove me to conversion therapy, still to this day refuse to acknowledge the harm. They often gaslight me about it. Sometimes mocking me if I bring it up.

When I asked that same question of whether I could "trust them to not do the harm again," they gaslit me instead and engaged in DARVO tactics (Deny, Accuse, Reversed Victim and Offender).

I realized they had no intention to ever acknowledge the harm, to ever engage in repair. They refused to even admit they hurt me.

Without that intent to repair and the follow through, I realized there was no repair foundation being built. Every time I tried to place my forgiveness bridge, it fell into the rapids of abuse and despair. There was nothing to hold it up.

So I walked away. It took me almost eight years to finally walk away, to cut them out of my life for my safety and health.

It took me that long because I misunderstood what forgiveness was at first. I thought if I told them I had forgiven them, that it could somehow repair things.

But it can't.

Saying "I forgive you" to someone who hurt you and continues to hurt you will not repair things. The other person's behaviors and thoughts are outside our control -- they must choose to repair. I cannot make that decision for them.

In regards to my parents, my hope of things improving, of healing happening, of being able to repair that broken relationship? That was destroyed again and again with their refusal to engage in repair.

Thus my words "I forgive you" became meaningless; they served only to soothe my parents' egos rather than aid in my own healing.

It is why I had to stop. Why I had to walk away, because staying in such a situation was hurting me.

It was one of the hardest decisions of my life to cut off my parents, but healing from that sort of toxicity cannot happen while still trapped in that toxicity.

Only when I was free of it could I start to heal from it. That does not in any way mean I forgive my parents. How can I when there is no intent of repair or follow-through?

Conclusion

The person who caused harm, who wants to engage in repair, must step up and say, "I acknowledge that I hurt you. I want to repair that. To earn back your trust. I have a few ideas on how to do this, but are you open to repairing this? And what would be best for you?"

That acknowledgement and offer of repair starts the process of laying out a foundation for the bridge. Then the necessary follow through of actually doing the repair builds up the foundation, so that forgiveness may be realized.

No one is owed forgiveness. No one is owed repair.

We all must make those decisions on what we are capable of handling in regards to repair, forgiveness, and connecting. It is valid and okay to not be ready for reconnecting with someone who hurt you. It's okay if it takes time to build up toward that or to not engage at all in it.

Our healing journeys are all unique. Who we engage with in our healing journeys is up to us to decide. No one can (or should) make that decision for us. We decide what we are capable of handling.

We are valid as we are. We owe no one forgiveness. Do not forget that.

[aiko-the-weapons-robot]

Ok guys... uhm... I might rebrand a little. I'M STILL DOING DEMON SLAYER STUFF AND ALL OF WHAT I USED TO- I'm just changing my persona, name and what this Tumblr looks like. Working on the art soon but this is my new persona...

Name's Aiko now, gonna go by he/them and stuff, basically they're a cyborg and he's very good with weapons and fighting. Now I can make AU versions of him in my favorite animes(KNY FIRST DUH-) but yeah, I'll let you guys know the process changes when I figure it out. 🩷