#Really looking forward to my Sunday meal prep

[you-expect-too-much]

The lighting in my office is nice sometimes 🥰

[caffeled]

i can tell my legs will be absolutely dead by friday but god. im gonna Thrive when the weekend comes.

[wintaerbaer]

things we don’t say: part 2 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon​

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 11.4k

chapter warnings: IN THE SOOP TAE, swearing, alcohol consumption, feelings?, implied sexual situations (not for oc), that chicken fight game you can play in a pool (definitely not the animal cruelty kind, just want to clarify), bartender jungkook (who is also an absolute MENACE), infidelity, namjoon’s chest

a/n: we’re heading into the thick of things now! thank you to everyone who has shown this series love thus far. and even to those who may be silently reading, i appreciate each and every one of you. these characters have been in my head for years, and it’s so incredible to finally get to share them!

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

You’re starting to think you might be a terrible friend.

It's been a week and a half since Maya's art show when Jimin slides into the chair next to you in your office building's cafeteria. You've worked at the same company since graduation but in different departments, so while you don't see each other every day, you occasionally grab lunch together or pop over to each other's desk for a quick chat.

"Hey, stranger," he chirps, setting his food on the table before peering closely at your face. "Almost forgot what you looked like."

You roll your eyes at him. After the incident at the gallery sent your brain into an emotional spiral, you had decided to put some distance between you and Taehyung until you could figure out what the hell this all meant for your friendship. As a result, you hadn't been over to the guys' apartment since then—an unusually long amount of time for you to stay away.

Jimin frowns at your lack of a response, leaning forward until you look at him. "You avoiding us?"

"No," you say simply, busying yourself by taking a bite of your lunch.

"Sorry, let me rephrase. Are you avoiding Tae?"

You chew slowly, carefully considering your words before settling on, "Why would I be?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking. For a friend of course." Jimin shrugs. "He mentioned that you haven't really been talking to him—asked if I knew why. Plus, you missed two Sunday meal preps."

"I've missed them before—"

"Two!"

You purse your lips, guilt creeping in at the thought of Taehyung spending two nights cooking alone as you broke your tradition. "You can tell him what I told him—I've been busy."

Jimin frowns again, watching you stare at the table as you chew another bite. "Is something going on? Did he say something to you?"

"About what?" you ask, eyes snapping up to his.

"I..." he hesitates, suddenly uneasy. "I don't know. I just know that I've never seen you two like this."

"Like what?"

"Apart."

You give a dry laugh, more out of nerves than anything. "Chim, we're not literally attached at the hip, you know? We have our own lives."

"Yah, you know that's not what I mean." He sighs. "I can just tell he's missing you, that's all.”

If getting called out on missing meal prep nights made you feel guilty, then this is the true slap to the face. Taehyung may be mild and introspective by nature—a quiet force in his own right—but he holds close those who are dear to him, and you know he can't be pleased with your recent silence.

Still, any guilt tingling through your veins inevitably winds up outweighed by the memory of the flash of heartbreak that had crossed his face at the party, reinforcing your need for space.

"Well we'll see each other in a couple days," you murmur, a tiny burst of excitement breaking into your mind at the thought of your upcoming vacation.

Property of Jungkook's family, the beach house rarely used by his parents had become a staple for your friend group over the years as the go-to site for New Year’s parties and summer holidays. When Hoseok and Sunny had lamented the astronomical cost of the wedding and how they were going to opt out of having bachelor and bachelorette parties to help save money, Jungkook had offered up the house to do a combined pre-wedding bash to celebrate their upcoming nuptials.

Jimin taps his fingers on the table, looking at you quietly before accepting the change in topic. "It should be fun. Jace coming?"

"No, he has that conference."

"Damn," Jimin huffs. "Does that guy ever get a day off?"

"Guess he had to afford the ring somehow," you say, the corners of your mouth tilting up on impulse.

Jimin smiles back. "And here I was, wishfully thinking we might get a front row seat to a proposal this weekend."

“Not his vibe.” You scrunch your nose. “He never went to the house as frequently as everyone else. And I don’t know if he’d want a bunch of other people around. At least not people who know us.”

“Aww, why not?” Jimin whines. “We could all celebrate with you! And Maya could take pictures!”

“Or Tae.”

“Or—yeah, or Tae.”

You pretend not to have noticed his hesitation or the way he startled at that, and certainly not the way it made your pulse jump. Has everyone really been seeing this except you?

“Regardless,” you say, trying to ignore the sudden nausea rolling in your stomach, “I don’t think he’ll do it in front of you guys. And if he was going to ask Maya to take pictures, I think he would’ve done so by now if he was going to propose soon.”

When you had told Maya about the ring the afternoon after the gallery opening, she’d seemed genuinely surprised, clapping her hands together and immediately calling dibs on being maid of honor.

Go figure.

“Ah, well,” Jimin sighs. “There’s always the planning to help with.” He holds up a hand and begins ticking off his fingers. “And the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, rehersal dinner, eventual baby shower—“

“Woah, Park, getting a little ahead of yourself now, no?”

“Y/N, this is an exciting time for you! I’m excited for you!” He slurps down a mouthful of his noodle bowl. “And maybe I’m living a little vicariously through you. Maybe. A little.”

“Geez, Kook’s right, you are in a drought.”

“Oh, great. You too now?”

You giggle as he dramatically presses a hand to his forehead, food puffing out his cheeks.

“But really though,” he says, leaning forward again with concern in his eyes, “you are excited, right? After you told us about the ring, you seemed a bit off.”

Shit.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He raises an eyebrow. “I haven’t seen you get drunk that fast in a while.”

“I was happy for Maya and Tae.”

“And yourself?”

“Yeah, and myself.”

Jimin stares at you for a long few seconds, clearly not buying what you’re selling. “Fine. Don’t tell me.” He leans back in his chair in a way that says he’s letting you off the hook. “But you’d better figure out this weird thing with Tae before he corners you at the house. Good luck avoiding him then.”

Okay, maybe not entirely off the hook.

The rest of the short work week passes in a blink, and you quickly find yourself packing for your trip on Wednesday night, the plan being to leave Thursday morning and stay until Monday. Jace fiddles with his phone on the bed, occasionally glancing up to watch you flit around the room as you fill your travel bag with an excessive amount of clothes.

"Are you leaving for five days or a month?" he teases as you cram ten pairs of underwear into a side pocket.

"I like to keep my options open," you say. "Never know what could happen with the weather."

"Or your bladder, apparently."

"Hey, it's gonna be hot. I'll have to hydrate."

He laughs at that before his eyes settle on you with a warmth that has you shifting under his gaze.

“What?”

“I just love you, you know?” he hums.

Warmth blooms in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“It’s going to suck being apart.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I wish you could’ve come.”

At your words, you feel like you can literally see a light bulb turn on in his head as his expression brightens with an idea. “Do you want to take my jacket?”

He can only mean one jacket. You’d found it together a month after you started dating at a thrift shop downtown, and it’s been his signature piece of clothing ever since. Jace had pulled the bomber jacket and its bright green satin off the rack, and your first reaction had been to laugh. The thing practically glowed.

“You’ll look like a traffic light,” you’d giggled.

But Jace was already pulling the shimmering material over his shoulders. “Consider this your green light to jump my bones whenever you want,” he’d said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“I’d feel bad separating you from it, to be honest,” you say in the present. “I’m pretty sure a piece of your soul is tied to that jacket by now.”

He pouts. “You’ll be carrying a piece of my heart already; what’s a piece of my soul?”

“Smooth.” You poke at your bag. “I may not have any extra room in here though.”

“Fair enough, but if you change your mind, the offer still stands. What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Eleven. Should get us there a little before lunch."

"Us?" He pauses, setting down his phone. "You're driving with Tae?"

"No, Maya." A tinge of panic drops into your chest at the mention of Taehyung's name. Does he know? "Why?"

Jace shrugs, nonchalant. "No reason, just wondering. And you're back Monday?"

"Mhm, by dinnertime." You settle on the bed next to him, trailing your fingers along his forearm. "Do you want to maybe do a date night after work that day?"

He sighs deeply, tilting his head back against the headboard. "We have our conference debrief Monday, so who knows when I'll get home." You nod in understanding, but the disappointment must show on your face because then Jace is leaning forward to take your hand in his. "I'll tell you what, I know work has been keeping me from you lately, so let me make up for it.”

The pads of his fingers lightly dance along your jaw. "Fancy date night next Saturday? That upscale Italian place on Fifth that you love so much? I can make a reservation."

Your heart pounds as you will your eyes not to subconsciously drift to his desk, and you put on your best poker face. "It's a date."

The drive proves an easy one for you and Maya as sunny weather and a surprising lack of traffic has you at the house in under an hour. As you drive through the iron gates, a small mansion, white and pristine, spreads itself out before you, and you're once again reminded of just how wealthy a family Jungkook comes from.

You had grown up very well-off, sure, but Jungkook’s parents and their vast real estate portfolio are on an entirely different level of rich. And while your parents had immediately cut you off right after you left for college, Jungkook’s parents continue to supplement his bartending income with a monthly allowance to this day.

The word “spoiled” is a bit of an understatement when it comes to your friend.

"You sure you don't want anything more serious with Kook?" you tease Maya, who sits in the passenger seat with her dark sunglasses over her eyes. "All this could be yours."

"As if," she scoffs. "Not worth it to have to put up with his ass for the rest of eternity."

You key in the code for the front door and are greeted by a multitude of voices, the cavernous open-concept kitchen/dining room/living room only serving to amplify those inside. Hoseok and Sunny are quick to reel you in, introducing you to Sunny's three bridesmaid friends, Hoseok's brother (who you’ve met a few times before), and—

"Joonie!"

Namjoon swoops in to pull you into a bear hug while lamenting how long it's been since he last saw you. Hoseok's best friend since freshman year of college, the former pre-med major had been a core member of your group of friends, but med school combined with helping to manage his family's restaurant means that you rarely see him nowadays in spite of him sharing an apartment with Hoseok and Sunny.

"How's the roomie search going?" you ask as Namjoon pulls Maya into an equally crushing hug.

"Mmph, still no luck. Though I may have an old friend from grade school moving into the city soon, so we'll see if that pans out." He throws a quirked brow at Hoseok. "But I haven't entirely given up on convincing these two to reconsider breaking up the dream team."

"Ah, Joon, you really wanna live with two newlyweds that badly?" Hoseok whines. "Just think about it for two seconds. Really think about it."

Namjoon clicks his tongue, cheeks now tinged with a dusting of pink. "Okay, maybe you have a point."

The light mingling continues as everyone settles in, and you find yourself taking stock of the kitchen and planning a grocery run with Sunny's friends when the last three members of your party come spilling through the door. Your companions head back to the entrance for introductions, but you stay firmly put, mindlessly busying yourself with plates and silverware, nerves alight at the thought of who just entered the house.

Voices still echoing from the living room, it's only a minute or so later when you sense the quiet presence of someone stepping into the kitchen, and, ever in sync, you don't need to turn around to know who.

"Hey, can I talk to you?"

You turn on instinct, your body responding to his voice before your brain can remind you of your avoidance. Taehyung leans against the kitchen island in a long-sleeved yellow shirt, baseball cap turned backwards on his head. Chin slightly tilted towards his chest, he's gazing at you from under his lashes, and you recognize it as nerves. "I, um, I'm about to go on a grocery run."

"I can come with?" he offers. "Keep you company, carry the heavy stuff—"

"I made plans to go with Sunny's friends, actually."

"Oh, okay." His shoulders drop ever so slightly, and you glance away at the shoreline crashing in the distance, anywhere but at your best friend looking like a kicked puppy in front of you because of your own cowardice.

"Listen, Y/N—"

"Later?" You quickly interrupt, not mentally prepared to have this conversation right now, especially with Jimin casting you looks from where he stands in the living room.

Taehyung licks his lips, seeming to scan your face for something before he swallows down words on the tip of his tongue, grimacing as if they're nails. "Yeah, okay. Later."

When you said later, you truly meant it. While you and Sunny’s friends (Taehyung thinks their names were Iseul, Hana, and Yumi) run out for groceries, the rest of the group bustles around the house, splitting up rooms, settling in, and eventually migrating to the pool. Taehyung tries to catch you again when you return, but you hurry past him with a box of liquor, mumbling something about helping Jungkook set up the bar out back. Sunny’s friends dump the rest of the groceries on the kitchen island before scurrying away to the back deck with everyone else, which is how Taehyung winds up unpacking the bags.

Alone.

Nice.

He’s pushing a box of ramyeon on top of the fridge when he hears the back door click and slide open behind him.

“Need a hand?”

Namjoon walks into the kitchen, fingers poking at one of the bags.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

They unload the groceries in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Namjoon says, “So how have things been?”

Taehyung shrugs a shoulder. “Ah, you know, the usual. You?”

“Same.”

Quiet takes over again, and Taehyung thinks the conversation has ended before it even really started as he moves to place a bottle of orange juice into the fridge. But then—

“I heard about Y/N and Jace.”

Taehyung freezes mid-motion, the cool air from the open fridge slipping out and chilling his skin. When he looks up at Namjoon, the other man is studying him with a calm intensity that raises goosebumps along his arms. It’s not his first time being under Namjoon’s microscope, but he’ll never get used to the feeling of being simultaneously picked apart and comforted. Because while his friend may exude a quiet warmth, he always gives the sense that there’s also a million calculations going on under the surface at any given time.

It’s easy to let one’s guard down around Namjoon.

With that in mind, Taehyung opts for the simplest answer, slowly closing the refrigerator and saying, “Yeah?”

Namjoon nods, equally slow. “Are you alright?”

“I’m great,” Taehyung says, breaking the eye contact and closing the refrigerator to reach for another bag. “She’s always wanted this. And Jace is…” He finds himself rooting around his brain trying to find a descriptor for the guy. For someone who he’s known for several years, it’s bizarre how he can’t find a single word for him.

Weird.

“She’s happy with him,” is what he eventually comes out with.

“But is he right for her?” Namjoon presses.

“You think he’s not?”

Namjoon reaches up to put a few bags of snacks into a cupboard. “I don’t know. It’s like he was always around in college, but he was never truly present, you know?”

“That’s a Joon-ism if I’ve ever heard one.”

Namjoon smiles, a dimple dotting his cheek. “You don’t get what I mean?”

“No, I do. But that’s not important, is it? It doesn’t matter if we think he’s the right guy; it matters if she thinks he’s the right guy. And if she does, then I support it. It’s not my place to do anything else.”

The words settle in the room, and he means every one.

“You know, I’ve always admired the two of you,” Namjoon says after a moment. “The way you care for each other is…extraordinary, to say the very least.”

The sincerity in his voice makes Taehyung blush. “Well, we only had each other growing up, you know? She saved my life when we were kids. I truly believe that.”

“I know, you’ve said that before. She gave you a way out.”

“A way out, a purpose, a friend.” He crumples a plastic bag into his hand. “She chose me when no one else did. Not even my own family.”

And you had, when no one else seemed to want anything to do with him, there you were, hanging by his side like his own personal guardian angel.

“She’s the most incredible person I know, and I would just…do anything for her.”

“Including watch her marry him, apparently.”

“Yes,” Taehyung says. Unhesitating. “If that’s what she wants.”

“And where does that leave you?”

Taehyung has nothing to answer that with—his worst fear laid bare in front of him. It’s the thought that keeps him up at night, plagues the very marrow of his bones every time someone mentions that tiny velvet box. Your childhood friendship may have allowed you to grow together as one through the years, but just as trees grow apart as they grow upwards, it feels like only a matter of time before your branches no longer intertwine, drawn apart by jobs and relationships, life and love.

How long until you’ve outgrown him? How long until you’ve started your own family and left him behind?

He has no right to you, and he knows that. The last thing he would ever want to do is hold you back, but perhaps a part of him thought he’d have more time. Now, with you suddenly not talking to him for reasons he can’t even begin to grasp, he feels like he may have already lost you.

Namjoon puts him out of his misery. “Do you know what Plutarch said about friendship?”

“Who?”

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”

Taehyung stares, stunned and confused. Because Namjoon couldn’t possibly be suggesting…

“You’re saying I should tell her to say no to him?”

“I’m saying it’s possible to be selfless to a fault.”

It doesn’t sound terribly different in Taehyung’s mind, but he tries to consider Namjoon’s words regardless. Your happiness has always been his utmost priority, but could his unconditional support really be doing more harm than good? He likes to believe that if he felt your well-being were truly at risk, he would speak up.

Then again, with the way his friend is looking at him, he also can’t help but feel like he’s missing something important.

“What are you trying to specialize in again?” he asks, deflecting.

“Psychiatry.”

“Of course.”

Namjoon chuckles. “It’ll all work out in the end.” He winks, moving to rejoin your friends outside. “Life finds a way.”

You’ve managed to evade Taehyung all day, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t felt his eyes on you.

The early hours had been easy, your supermarket run giving you an (albeit weak) excuse to put some physical distance between the two of you. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult to maintain, especially after your group gathered together to decide what to do tonight.

When you’d entered the living room, Taehyung had already been seated at the end of the couch, a free spot open on his left; with the way that his hand had been resting, it was almost as if he was saving it for you. Instead, you’d chosen an armchair diagonally across from him, squirming more and more the longer he looked at you. Throughout the entire conversation, as the group decided upon going to the beach bar down the street to kick off your first night at the house, you don’t think his eyes left you even once.

You’re being a coward, and you know it.

Now, you sit at the vanity in your room, struggling with your necklace and just about ready to give up on the damn thing so you don’t hold everyone else up. The clasp doesn't want to cooperate, your fingers can't seem to get purchase on the thin metal, and really, who are you trying to look good for anyway?

Right as you prepare to abandon the cause and stuff the offending item back in your bag, someone knocks on the door and you yell for them to come in.

Taehyung saunters into the room, now wearing a black t-shirt and shorts, his hair pushed back in such a way that you can tell he's been running his hands through it. His eyes skim your figure as he softly closes the door behind him, and you feel your pulse double in pace. "Need help?"

"It's okay—I, um—" but before you can stutter out an excuse, he's already taking the thin chain from your hands, and all you can do is try not to focus on how his fingers feel brushing the back of your neck.

"There. Easy peasy." He eyes you up and down again before clearing his throat. "Looks good on you."

"I, uh, thanks." Your voice is practically a whisper, and you busy yourself with your make-up case...which may have been an adequate distraction if not for the fact that you've already done your make-up and so your hands are only left to wander aimlessly. Glancing up, you catch Taehyung gazing at you over your shoulder in the mirror, and the intensity of his stare has you dropping the case back to the table. "What?"

"You're avoiding me." He states it as a fact, eyes unwavering, and you turn to face him.

"I'm not."

"You are." He searches your face as if to find the answer written there in big, bold letters. "Why?"

A tiny spider makes its way across the corner of the ceiling, and you find yourself staring at it as you chew on your bottom lip, not knowing what to say.

"Hey," Taehyung murmurs, pulling your attention back to him. "It's me, yeah? We don't keep secrets."

But still you hesitate. "You won't get mad?"

He reaches out to hook his pinky with yours. "Of course not."

Letting out a shaky breath, you ask, "Are you okay with Jace proposing?" The question hangs between you for a second, the air thickening with apprehension.

His eyebrows press together, confused. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, it's just..." You pause to collect your thoughts. "When I told you about the ring at the gallery opening, there was a second where you appeared to be…bothered."

"Ahh, well..." He pushes his hands through his hair, mulling over his next words. "Do you want me to be honest?"

"Please."

"I know we're friendly, but I've just never been his biggest fan, even in college." Taehyung shrugs. "You know I want the best for you, and he seems like a good guy and all, I just—I don't know." Another run of his hand through his hair. "I just get a weird vibe from him sometimes."

You smirk at that. "A weird vibe?"

"Yeah, like," he licks his lips, still fidgeting. "I can't put my finger on anything in particular, just something about him rubs me the wrong way sometimes." You open your mouth to respond and he quickly cuts in, "But I will 100% support you! If he's who you want and he makes you happy and treats you well, then I will cheer you on the whole way. Hell, I'll even walk you down the aisle if you want me to." That draws a small laugh from you, and he smiles. "If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. That's all I care about."

You take in his beaming figure and are reminded of how thankful you are to have this man in your life. But the voice in the back of your head is still not entirely placated and before you can stop yourself, you're blurting, "And that's really it?"

Taehyung's smile fades, lips slowly turning downward into a frown, and you silently curse yourself. After seventeen years of friendship, the man can practically read your mind and you know it. "What aren't you telling me?"

You sigh. Seems like there's no way getting around it at this point, and so you decide you may as well dive in. Tucking your hair behind your ears, you quietly ask, "You don’t…have feelings for me?”

Taehyung's eyes blow wide, and you're surprised his jaw isn't touching the floor. After several moments of stunned silence, he lets out a strangled, "What?"

"No, I just—" you stutter. "Look, someone said you did, and after you seemed upset about Jace proposing, I thought maybe..."

He's deeply scowling now, the crease back between his eyebrows, and a flare of his nostrils indicates that he's pissed. "Who?" he asks.

"Who what?"

"Who said that?"

"Tae—"

"No, Y/N, if people want to talk about me behind my back and screw with my private life, I have a right to know who."

He stares you down until you purse your lips and break. "Maya."

"Fucking hell," he says under his breath as he rubs at the lines in his forehead, and his lack of a denial has your head spinning.

"So it's true?"

"Y/N—"

"You haven't answered the question—"

"No!" He almost shouts it. "I don't."

"Because if you did have feelings for me, you could tell me. No secrets, right?"

He lets out a huff and stuffs his hands in his pockets, leveling his gaze back at you. "No," he says. Firmly. Definitively. "No, Y/N, I don’t have feelings for you."

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. But something in your blood continues to tingle.

"Okay."

And really? You should've known. Should've trusted to get the truth from him and not secondhand from your friends who, though they mean well, have been known to meddle and gossip (and sure, maybe that includes yourself at times).

The heightened tension has dissipated from the room, but the two of you are still left looking awkwardly at each other. After a stretch of time, Taehyung shifts on his feet and asks, "Y/N, are we good?"

There's a hint of fear in his eyes, and it has any residual worry you're feeling melting away. This is still Tae. Your Tae.

"Of course we are." You link your pinky with his. "Always."

The beach bar is relatively crowded for a Thursday night, the warm summer air and mix of bodies driving your group to disperse around the venue. Some migrate towards the live band, while others choose to mingle (and flirt) with the other patrons.

Noticing the way one guy at the bar has been eyeing you since you got here, Taehyung sticks close to your side, just in case. That is, until Namjoon finds his way back to the two of you looking harried, drawing you in so he can gently rest his hands on your elbows.

“Y/N, can I borrow you?” His light smile and the way he leans in close are clearly meant to project the image of intimacy, but his eyes are desperately screaming for help. “There’s an intoxicated woman who seems determined to motorboat me, and I don’t know where Maya is. I need a fake girlfriend.”

You pretend to swoon. “Joonie, with a chest like that, I’d be honored to be your fake girlfriend.”

Something aches behind Taehyung’s ribs as he watches you walk away on Namjoon’s arm when he just got you talking to him again. Still, a bit of breathing room is probably for the best. His conversation with you has him rattled; he doesn’t think his pulse has fully returned to normal since you suggested he has feelings for you. At the very least, he was able to smooth things out, which has noticeably eased the weight he’s been carrying the past couple of weeks.

But speaking of your conversation, you being summoned away by Namjoon gives him the opportunity to address the other elephant in the room.

He scans the crowd, determinedly ignoring the woman who’s been trying to catch his eye from a few tables over. (She pouts in his peripheral vision, shifting the neckline of her shirt to sit lower on her chest.) Finally spotting his target making her way back from the bathroom, he quickly moves to intercept her before she can join you and Namjoon at the bar.

Maya startles as he tugs lightly on her arm, leading her to a quieter spot towards the edge of the beach before abruptly spinning to face her.

"What the fuck?"

"What?" she quirks an eyebrow as if in askance but her overall countenance says that she knows exactly what this conversation is going to be about.

"You know what."

"Maybe, but I want to hear you say it."

Taehyung takes a deep breath. He loves Maya like a sister, but that sibling relationship means that she often gets under his skin like one, too. "You told Y/N that I'm in love with her?"

Her other eyebrow joins the first one in climbing her forehead. "Are you?"

"No."

Maya scoffs. "I'm going to give you another chance to say that, but try to sound like you actually believe it this time."

"You had no right—"

"So you're not denying it now?"

"I said no."

"Okay, that time was better, but it could still use some work—"

"Maya, fuck!" He scrubs a hand over his face. "Don't do this."

"She needs to know! What did you tell her?"

“That I don’t—“

“I thought you two didn’t lie to each other.”

“I didn’t!”

“You’re full of shit, and you know it.”

He’d swear he can feel his eyelid twitch. Maya always seems to know which buttons to press to get a reaction out of him. "She's getting married, for fuck's sake!"

"No, she has a boyfriend with a ring box in his drawer."

"Same difference."

"It's not."

"It is."

"She hasn't said yes yet, Tae."

He goes quiet at that. It’s painfully reminiscent of his conversation with Namjoon, and yet he’s equally at a loss. What are they honestly expecting him to do here? What could he possibly do that would accomplish anything other than drive you away, and rightfully so?

Maya’s gaze rakes over his face, scrutinizing him with a mixture of frustration and pity. "Tell me it isn't killing you."

Taehyung licks his lips, looking out across the bar until he finds where you’re standing with Namjoon. The latter says something that makes you laugh, and his stomach flips watching the way your eyes twinkle with mirth as you toss your head back, hair spilling over your shoulders.

You’re radiant. Stunning.

"She's happy," he finally croaks, but it comes out like he's physically straining to push out the words. "Leave it the fuck alone."

“Hey.”

You find Taehyung in the kitchen bright and early the next morning, already rummaging around and littering the counters with bowls and ingredients. The soft morning light drenches him in a golden glow, highlighting his honey skin, the slope of his nose, the long lines of his fingers as he works.

“Hey!” The smile he gives you is light and easy, the awkwardness between you having evaporated as easy as steam after your discussion last night. “Want to help me make breakfast?”

You jump in, immediately falling into rhythm with the way he maneuvers around the kitchen. God, you’ve missed this. It may have only been a few weeks, but cooking with Taehyung is one of your life’s greatest joys, and after missing two of your meal prep nights, it feels like a part of you has come home. There’s no doubt that you’re breathing a little easier today with the air cleared between you.

And honestly, how stupid to let a single comment from Maya drive a wedge between the two of you. You’ve known Taehyung practically your whole life. If he did have feelings for you, you would’ve figured it out by now.

Surely, he would’ve told you.

Lost in your thoughts, you don’t even notice that Taehyung is sneaking up on you until he’s already smeared a streak of waffle batter across your cheek.

“Augh, Tae!”

“What?” He quickly backpedals out of your reach, anticipating retaliation, but grinning widely. “You were clearly somewhere else. Had to bring you back to me somehow.”

A while later, as Taehyung sets out the platters of waffles, fruit, and eggs, you begin making the rounds to let everyone know that breakfast is ready. Sunny and her friends thank you from where they’re hanging out on the back deck and say that they’ll be in soon. Moving back into the hallway, you greet Hoseok and his brother, Jiho, as they pass you; Hoseok gives you an appreciative high five when you tell them about the food. Namjoon and Jimin have their door wide open, so you only need to poke your head in, Jimin immediately taking off down the hall at the mention of waffles.

When you get to Taehyung and Jungkook’s door, it’s closed, a series of muffled groans coming from inside. Unhesitating, you knock hard, and the groaning stops, followed by a curse and the sound of shuffling before Jungkook is opening the door halfway, blocking your view of the room. Clad in only a pair of gray joggers, a light sheen of sweat coats his bare chest, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Can I help you?”

“Tae and I made breakfast. You’re welcome to join.” You nod your chin at the area behind him. “Unless, you know, you have better things to do.”

Jungkook smirks, amused. “Alright, I’ll be out in a minute.”

He moves to close the door, but you manage to stick a foot out to block him.

“Maya, you too!”

There’s a moment of silence as you stand there, Jungkook looking as smug as ever, before a voice sounds from inside the room.

“Okay!”

It's a cloudless, sunny day so your group heads down to the beach after breakfast. Jungkook's beach house sits down the street, away from the center of town and tourist areas, which allows you a relatively private, uncrowded stretch of sand. The air is sticky with humidity, only mitigated by the breeze coming off the water. It's an oddly soothing combination of hot and cool that has you pulling in deep breaths of the salty air. You could stay out here forever.

"This is paradise," Hana says, verbalizing your own thoughts. "I wish I could live here."

You're sitting on your towel in the sand helping Maya sunscreen her back, but you don't miss the cocky grin on Jungkook's face.

"Well, pretty ladies like you are always welcome here."

Maya's shoulders tense up under your hands, and you're tempted to say something snarky in her defense before Sunny beats you there.

"Not my friends, Kook!"

Hana giggles, Jungkook feigns innocence, and you think that's that, stretching out on your towel to sunbathe. But an hour later, Taehyung is plopping down next to you in the sand.

"I need your help."

You slide your sunglasses to the top of your head so you can look at him better. "Sunny trying to set you up with someone again?"

He blushes. "No, Kook wants to have a chicken fight."

You push your glasses back down your face. "No."

Taehyung is quick, reaching over to pull the shades off your eyes entirely.

“Tae!”

“Look,” he murmurs, leaning in close. “Normally I’d blow him off, but he’s pairing up with Hana, and Maya actually seems kind of bothered.”

You peek over his shoulder to where Maya is now chatting with Jimin, throwing furtive glances at Jungkook and Hana flirting by the water’s edge.

“I know they’re not exclusive,” Taehyung continues, “but you have to admit Kook is being a bit of a dick, and I kind of want to show him up.”

You’re still hesitant, lips turning downwards, and so he presses closer, until all you can see are big brown eyes.

“Please? For me?”

The past two weeks creep into your mind, two weeks of intentionally avoiding him—hurting him—due to your own idiocy, and that’s when you cave. You owe him.

“Okay, fine.”

You follow Taehyung down to the shoreline, where Jungkook grins widely at your approach and claps his hands together.

"A challenger!"

You shake your head at his antics and move to tie your hair up and away from your face. "Do we have any stakes?"

Jungkook strikes a dramatic pose: calf-deep in water, hands on hips, six-pack abs already glistening as he pouts his lips in thought.

Then, with a snap of his fingers, he says, "Loser cooks dinner tomorrow."

Well, that's much tamer than you expected. "Just dinner? No, 'loser has to go skinny dipping' or anything like that?"

His mouth forms into a tiny "o", eyes wide with excitement. "Do you...want that?"

"No," you're quick to clarify. "It just doesn't seem like much of a punishment for us."

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. "I like your food."

"Okay, but what if we win?" Taehyung asks, nodding from your right.

The cocky grin is back. "You won't."

Seagulls circle above like curious spectators to your game as you get into position. Taehyung squats in the surf so you can scale his back, sliding your legs over his tanned shoulders. He wraps his arms and hands tightly around your knees to secure you as he walks deeper into the ocean until the water is up to his waist. Roughly ten feet across from you, Jungkook and Hana have assumed a similar stance, and you're not sure if it's the waves rolling in or if Jungkook is actively bouncing on his heels.

"Jimin, wanna count us off?" he shouts.

From his spot on the beach, you see Jimin cup his hands around his mouth.

"On your mark...get set...GO!"

The men charge at each other through the water until you and Hana collide, grappling at each other's arms. In spite of a tiny build, she's surprisingly strong and sturdy, and you already have to adjust yourself on top of Taehyung, who likewise rearranges his grip on your legs.

"You good?" he grunts from under you, and you assure him you're fine.

You change your tactic, moving to push at her shoulders and send her backwards, but Jungkook shifts his legs to keep the two of them balanced. This gives Hana the chance to bump you with an elbow, and Taehyung likewise has to tighten his hold on you again to keep you steady.

This back-and-forth goes on for a short while, your friends now cheering from the sidelines, until Jungkook pushes forward and Hana collides with you again. This time, Taehyung adjusts to the hit by sliding his hands upwards, his long fingers skating up the soft inner flesh of your thighs and digging in.

A flash of heat rushes straight to your belly.

The sensation forcefully jolts your entire body and sends both you and Taehyung tumbling into the water. You kick around trying to find your footing before he pulls you up, sopping wet and spluttering as Jungkook and Hana celebrate their victory with raised arms and whoops.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

Hell if you know. You’d swear you can still feel the pads of his fingers on your legs, and so you merely blink at him with a shake of your head.

A biological reaction, you tell yourself, as you wade your way back to dry land. Nothing more.

You will your body to get a grip as you settle back down on your towel. You love Jace, you’re taken, and you and Taehyung have just reestablished the platonic nature of your friendship. Letting his touch have that kind of effect on you is nothing short of wildly inappropriate on two counts.

Trying to shake the shame poking at your brain, you angle yourself towards the waves and snap a quick selfie to send off to your boyfriend.

You [2:05pm]: miss you so much, wish you were here <3

It’s not long before your phone chimes with a reply, and you open the message to see a picture of Jace taken at a similar angle. He stands in a sea of businessmen and conference booths, suit crisp and hair neatly combed. The smile he wears is bright, eyes crinkling in the way you love so much and setting of a flurry of butterflies in your belly.

J <3 [2:07pm]: i’d say i wish you were here but i wouldn’t wish this place on my worst enemy let alone my favorite girl lol

J <3 [2:07pm]: i miss you too, beautiful :(

By the time the sun starts its descent, you’ve all moved to the pool on the expansive back deck, Jungkook immediately hopping behind the outdoor bar to make drinks.

“You know,” you say from your perch atop one of the stools, “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who can match your enthusiasm for your job.”

He smiles, rattling a cocktail shaker. “It gets me booze and ladies. What more could I ask for?”

Yumi soon joins you at the bar top to ask Jungkook for a margarita, and is quick to strike up a conversation with you. Unsurprisingly for one of Sunny’s friends, she’s incredibly nice, and you learn she works as a hairdresser in the city.

“I’ll have to check out your salon!” you say. “I’ve been meaning to get a trim.”

She claps her hands together eagerly. “If you want to give me your number, I can text you the address!”

As you’re putting your contact information into her phone, she looks at you thoughtfully and adds, “Not to sound like I have an ulterior motive, but Sunny also mentioned that you’re going to be getting married soon, too?”

Heat creeps into your cheeks. “Ah, yeah, nothing official yet. But, you know, it seems like it’s coming.”

“Exciting!” she declares. “Just figured I’d let you know that I do weddings, too, in that case. And I know we’ve just met, but I’d still give you the friends discount. Sunny’s friends are my friends, as far as I’m concerned.”

“That’s so sweet of you. I’ll definitely give you a call to talk about it once we’re actually planning.”

“That sounds gre—“

“Sorry to interrupt.” Taehyung wanders up to where you sit, handing you a plate of steaming beef and cucumber salad. “Hoseok and Jimin got the first round of meats done. I knew you’d want it hot.”

The moan you let out as you take the plate from him is downright scandalous. “Ugh, you’re the best.”

You’re rewarded with a light chuckle and a signature boxy grin. “I know.”

As he heads back to the grill and you dig into your food, Yumi lets out a dreamy sigh. “It’s no wonder he’s planning to put a ring on your finger. I wish someone would look at me like that.”

A piece of food lodges itself in your throat, and you cough hard. Yumi stares at you in alarm until you regain your breath and turn to her with wide eyes. “Tae and I aren’t together.”

She looks back and forth between the two of you like she’s trying to solve a puzzle. “You’re not?”

“No.” You shake your head emphatically. “We grew up together. My boyfriend is at a work event.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaims. “I just noticed how close you were at the bar last night and how he’s always—“ She cuts herself off with a shake of her head. “Nevermind. That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

You assure her it’s fine, and she changes the subject, asking how you know the others and what college was like. Your chat carries on for a while longer before you excuse yourself to use the bathroom.

You don’t even make it halfway across the deck, though, before a tattooed arm is snaking across your waist, lifting you off your feet, and carrying you in the direction of the pool.

“Jeon Jungkook, don’t you fucking dare!” you screech, trying to wiggle yourself out of his grip to no avail.

All you hear behind you is a maniacal giggle before you’re tossed through the air and land in the water with a splash.

When you come up to the surface, pushing your wet hair out of your eyes, you find Jungkook cackling by the pool’s edge. You glare at him.

“Asshole!”

“C’mon, Y/N! It’s a tradition!” he laughs. “It’s not a beach house trip without—“ But he doesn’t get to finish that thought before Taehyung shoulders him hard in the back, propelling him into the water next to you.

You only give Jungkook a second to get his bearings before you’re hopping onto his back and trying to play wrestle him back under the water to the laughter of your friends. It’s hopeless really—Jungkook is basically a mountain of hard muscle that barely budges under your touch—but a few minutes of scrambling all over him with determination, and he eventually concedes and humors you by allowing you to dunk him below the surface.

It’s later, once you’ve clambered out of the pool and are toweling off on the deck when you hear him talking to Jiho behind you.

“He got you good. You didn’t even hear him coming, did you?” There’s a shuffle and a “Pow!” like Jiho is reenacting Taehyung’s takedown.

“Ah, it’s alright,” Jungkook laughs, no hint of a grudge in his voice. “I messed with his girl.”

Your party stretches on into the night until the sky has turned inky black, peppered with stars that shine intensely this far removed from the city. Almost ironically, your group has mellowed out as the alcohol has flowed, settling into smaller groups scattered around the deck. Namjoon sits with Hoseok and Jiho, clearly getting philosophical around the fire pit. Sunny is gathered to the side with her friends as they sloppily braid each other’s hair, the occasional burst of laughter coming from their general vicinity. Jimin lays on his back at the side of the pool, drunkenly tracing constellations with his finger. And Maya and Jungkook are nowhere to be found.

There’s a sense of peace that flows through your veins as you watch your friends smile and talk while you grab yourself a beer from the poolside bar. You’ve always loved coming here. Sure, getting a free stay at a waterfront mansion is nothing you’d ever say no to, but it’s really getting to spend quality time with your friends—away from all of your real world responsibilities—that makes this place feel almost magical.

You look out to the shoreline and spot a figure sitting alone on the beach, staring out at the waves. You’d been thinking about joining Namjoon’s group by the fire, but that plan is immediately pushed out of mind as you grab a second bottle and make your way towards the sea.

You’re not loud in your stroll, the soft sand muting your steps, but Taehyung seems to sense your approach anyway, not startling a bit as you seat yourself next to him and hand him a beer.

“Contemplating the wonders of the universe?” you ask. From this angle, he looks almost like he did in Maya’s photograph of him—the same constellations in his eyes.

Taehyung stretches his legs out with a sigh, leaning back on his palms. “Where do you think we’ll be this time next year?”

You sip at your drink. Honestly, you can’t imagine things being all that different.

“Right back here?” you say. “I don’t think I’ll ever tire of coming here. This is my ultimate happy place.”

Taehyung hums in agreement. “It could be your pre-wedding party we’ll be having next year.”

“You think?”

His brow furrows at your doubt. “I’d expect you’d at least be planning then, no? Or you could already be married by then if you guys want to move fast.”

The thought sends jitters running down your spine. “Who knows?” you challenge. “Maybe you’ll be the one married. Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate tomorrow and elope because you know it’s fate, and there’s no point in waiting.”

Taehyung barks out a laugh. “That sounds somewhat out-of-character, no?”

“Hmm, true. You’re more of a wait five years to move in and another five years to propose kind of guy. Work on your credit score and establish a detailed financial plan before even thinking about merging assets. And don’t even get me started on the background check.”

“Geez, Y/N. Does Jace know you just casually talk dirty to other guys like this?”

You playfully shove at his shoulder, and the pink of his tongue pokes through his teeth as he laughs.

“Oh, wow, look.”

Taehyung points a delicate finger as a tiny flash blazes through the sky, trailing light and stardust in its wake. He turns to you, smiling.

“Make a wish?”

The words come out on a whisper like a secret meant just for the two of you.

As you sit there, gazing out at the shadowy horizon in the distance, you feel perfectly content. What do you wish for when you feel like you already have the world? Work has been going great, and after almost a year of unpacking boxes and rearranging furniture, you feel like you and Jace are finally settled in and cozy at your apartment. You think about Jace—his smile, the soothing feel of his hands on your skin, the little black box in his desk—and contemplate all of the joy you can sense coming your way.

And then you consider the man beside you.

His eyes are closed as he meditates on his own wish, his legs now drawn up so he can rest his forearms on his knees. It flashes you back to when you were kids, lounging away the hours in your room or hanging at your favorite spots around town—the park, the library, the ice cream shop where Mrs. Kang would often take pity and treat the two of you to free cones. When you were young, Taehyung almost always sat like this, knees to his chest as if he was trying to make himself smaller. As if he could make himself invisible to the shadows that followed him every second of each day.

Taehyung’s always been a positive person, steadfastly determined to not let his demons poison his perspective of the world. Though neither of you were fond of explicitly discussing your situations, Taehyung always maintained a bright outlook on the rare occasions when your frustrations would spill over. There’s still the family we can choose, he’d tell you. We’ll find them one day.

Still, though, you could always sense a certain anxiety lingering under the mask of his smile. It showed itself in the way he’d sit with his arms around his knees, in the way his forehead would crease during the moments when you’d catch him lost in thought. This had eased up in college, the change in scenery and your newfound friends loosening his bones and laugh lines. But since graduation, you’ve seen some of that tension return to his shoulders like he’s carrying extra weight, especially in the past year.

You consider the man beside you, and you think, then, that he deserves the world, too.

I wish for Taehyung to have everything he wants. You squeeze your eyes shut, casting the thought out to the universe with everything you have. Every last desire of his heart. He deserves it all.

No one in the world would be more deserving. Of that, you’re sure.

When you open your eyes again, he’s watching you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What did you wish for?” is all you can think to ask, blinking at him.

“Well if I tell you, then it won’t come true.”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head with a teasing scoff. He smiles.

“Happiness,” he declares. “If I had to put it simply.”

You smile back at him, hoping those stars stay in his eyes. “Yeah, me too.”

He’ll find it. You know he will.

It's Sunday morning when shit hits the fan.

After Saturday passes with ease, another lazy day by the pool punctuated with you and Taehyung collaborating on a fried chicken dinner as per your bet with Jungkook, you wake up on Sunday to the sound of Iseul's squeals over there being no hot water, a fact which is soon confirmed after the men team up to check the heater. Jungkook calls his family handyman (apparently those come standard when you have more houses than you can count on one hand), but the man is quick to inform him that he's getting ready for his granddaughter's birthday party and won't be able to come out until tomorrow.

"There's no way I'm making it through the day without a hot shower," Maya grumbles.

Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows. "I can show you a hot shower.”

She doesn't even look at him.

You're also not enthused about the prospect of having to either take a cold shower or skip one entirely. So when Maya suggests going home a day early, you're already leaning towards the idea as well.

"It won't be that bad," Taehyung says, lips turning down in a tiny pout when you tell him. "The key is to just go fast."

"I'd rather not have to do it at all." You giggle as his pout deepens. "We're going to stay until the evening. It's only like a twelve hour difference."

"But I thought we were going to do a movie night."

Okay, now you feel bad.

"Temporary reschedule?" you suggest, poking at his bottom lip. "Jace and I are going to dinner on Saturday, but my Friday night is free."

A hand rubs at his chin as he pretends to make a show out of pondering your offer. "Deal."

Later, you're sitting on a chaise lounge on the back deck, soaking up your last few hours of sun with one of Jungkook's signature cocktails in your hand when Maya sighs deeply beside you in a similar show of disappointment.

"It really is a shame though," she laments. "Tonight was supposed to be our big send-off, and now I cleared my schedule tomorrow for nothing."

"We could do a girls night?" you say. "I have this new cab sav I found the other week that we could split."

"Ooh, twist my arm."

Plans made, you pull out your phone. Jace has been texting you on and off from his conference all weekend—just brief check-ins and I miss yous—so you shoot him a quick message now.

You [4:53pm]: the water heater here is busted so i'll be home early tonight. maya is going to come too, might stay over. can't wait to see you <3

The sky is a misty orange when you pack the car and say goodbye to your friends, Taehyung giving you a particularly tight hug. Things were great between you for the rest of the weekend, but you can feel the tension of your conversation lingering in the way he holds you that extra second.

You check your phone as Maya settles into the passenger seat and buckles her seat belt. There's still been no word from Jace. It's not particularly unusual for him to forget to answer his phone—especially since you expect he's busy wrapping up the conference—but a seed of worry still plants itself in the back of your brain. You hope everything is alright.

The ride is mostly quiet, you and Maya occasionally singing along to a song on the radio as the evening gradually turns to night. But about halfway back home, you feel the need to straighten things out.

“So I talked to Tae.”

She’s quiet for a second, her face shrouded in shadow. “Uh-huh.”

“He said he doesn’t have feelings for me.”

Maya shifts in her seat, angling herself towards you ever so slightly. “And you believe him?”

“Yes. Definitely.”  There’s no doubt in your mind. “He’s never given me a reason not to.”

Silence stretches itself between you, Maya entirely unreadable as she seems to be puzzling something out in her head.

“Okay.”

It comes as a surprise, and you jerk your eyes away from the road to glance over at her. “Okay?”

Maya shrugs. “Okay.”

“That’s it?”

“Do you want there to be more?”

You work your mouth in a stunned gape. Because she’s right; why are you pushing this?

“No. We’re good.”

When you get to your apartment, you swipe you and Maya into the building and head towards the elevators. You’re a little bummed that your time at the beach house had to be cut short, but you take solace in the fact that you get some time back with Jace.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Maya asks on the ride up.

You grin. “We could play that Twilight drinking game I sent you.”

“Pfft, I know I said I have tomorrow off, but I meant I could handle a mild hangover, not alcohol poisoning.”

You fumble for your key at your apartment door, sliding it into the lock and pushing the door open. The first thing you notice is that the lights are on, so Jace must be home.

“Babe?” you call, as you and Maya dump your bags by the couch.

“Where’s that cab sav?” You nod in the direction of the kitchen, and Maya skips over to investigate.

A moan sounds through the apartment.

You and Maya both freeze, staring at each other. Goosebumps break out over your entire body, a frightening sense of impending doom slamming itself down on your consciousness.

A second moan, and now you notice the lights on under the closed door of your bedroom. There was no sign of forced entry, but the image of a wounded and bleeding Jace pushes itself to the forefront of your mind.

You rush to the bedroom door, fearing the worse.

“Jace?”

You swing it open.

And your entire world collapses.

Taehyung can’t quite shake the feeling that you’re slipping through his fingers.

Movie night had been his idea, a way to get you in one spot (and mostly to himself, if he’s being honest) after your two weeks of silence. Now knowing the reason behind your push for space, he doesn’t blame you at all. Maya throwing that wrench into your relationship was surely unsettling, and he understands wanting time alone. But he’s missed you; he’s not going to deny that. And he’s desperate to prove that things can be okay between you. Things can be normal.

But the universe, it seems, is stacked against him.

He’s ambling through the house, wondering if Jimin might be up for a game of ping pong in the downstairs game room, when his phone blares in his pocket. It’s a jarring sound, violent in the way it disrupts the calmness of the house, and Taehyung frowns when he sees Maya’s name on the screen.

Maya never calls.

“Hello?”

“Tae, oh thank God.” Her voice is high and tight—clearly in distress. “You need to come to Y/N’s apartment as soon as physically possible. Grab Jimin and Kook if you need to drive them back—whatever. But just—as soon as possible.”

“Wait, wait, slow down,” he urges, hairs standing at attention on the back of his neck. “What’s going on? Is everyone okay? Is Y/N okay?”

“We got back to the apartment, and Jace he…”

Time seems to slow in anticipation of Maya’s next words—the kind of eerie stillness that precedes a storm, quiet and disarming in its disguise.

And then she drops the bomb.

“He was with someone else.”

Taehyung’s ears ring. There is no possible way he heard that right. “What?”

The breath that comes from the other side of the phone is heavy, like Maya can’t even believe the words coming out of her own mouth. “He was in bed with someone else.”

A chill drips down his spine, pushing its way through his veins until his entire body runs cold. This can’t be happening. Not to you. You’ve had enough pain and hardship in your twenty-five years of life—he’s seen it, weathered it with you. Things are supposed to be getting better; this is supposed to be the payout for years of heartache. Surely, the universe wouldn’t be so cruel.

But then it happens. A single, anguished sob rings out in the background of the call, sharp and pained in its grief.

His heart shatters, shards piercing the spaces between his ribs.

“Tae? Are you still there?”

“Yes.”

“She needs you. Please just get over here.”

Then line goes dead.

Taehyung is only frozen for a second longer before he’s bounding into motion, tearing down the hallway and into the living room where Jimin lays on his back on the couch. The latter shoots into a sitting position when he sees the look on Taehyung’s face.

“You okay?”

“Y/N—she—we—“ His mouth feels like it’s filled with sand, and while he stands there, working his jaw in agonizing frustration, Jimin leaps to his feet to close the distance between them, grasping Taehyung’s shoulders.

“What’s wrong? What happened to Y/N?”

His lungs burn as he finally finds the words. “Jace is cheating on her.”

Jimin goes still, the same stunned shock registering in his body.

“We need to—we need to go,” Taehyung gasps, and Jimin is quick to sit him on the couch.

“I’ll get Kook. We’ll take care of this,” he says, voice steady. Commanding. “You just wait here and breathe.”

The next several minutes are a blur as Jimin rushes to get Jungkook, and they work on packing the car, briefly explaining the situation to the others. Taehyung can’t think of anything but you, his focus reduced down to a pinpoint in his mind. You must be devastated. In spite of what he had said about his own feelings on Jace, he knows how much you love him, how you were expecting to spend the rest of your life with him. How must you be feeling to have an entire future ripped away? To have to bear witness to and suffer that kind of betrayal?

He’s not quite sure how it happens, but he winds up in the passenger seat of his own car, Jimin sliding behind the wheel and peeling away from the house and onto the highway. The air inside the cabin is thick, a stifling combination of premature summer heat and heavy silence, with even Jungkook sitting oddly quiet in the backseat. Taehyung is thankful for the absence of conversation; he doesn’t think he can handle talking about any of this until you’re in front of him and he can hold you, feel that you’re safe.

He realizes somewhere along the way that he’s shaking, your cry still ringing in his ears.

The trip from the beach house to the city only takes about forty-five minutes, but it feels like days, headlights and street lamps zipping by like tiny suns as Taehyung wills the car to go faster, faster, faster. He’s never felt further from you before, never been so determined to close the distance between you like he is now.

Whatever you need from him, he’ll give it.

Jimin finally pulls into your apartment parking lot, and the car hasn't even fully stopped before Taehyung is bolting out at a near sprint. Jungkook and Jimin catch up to him as he pulls out the duplicate access card you had given him in case of emergencies, swiping them into the entryway and down the hall where he pounds the button for the elevators.

"It'll be okay," Jimin says, staring Taehyung down where he seems to be vibrating in his shoes. "She'll be okay."

"She'd better be," Jungkook mutters, fists clenched tight.

(Jimin hopes Jace has long cleared out of the building, lest they run into him.)

The elevator ride is tense and slow, the numbers ticking upwards in time with the pounding in Taehyung's ears.

2...

The bastard was sleeping with someone else.

3...

You thought you were going to marry him.

4...

He'd spent time with Jace all through college. Even laughed with him at times.

5...

The sound you'd made on the phone, like you were physically wounded.

6...

If he ever sees that piece of shit again—

7.

The doors open with a ding that snaps the mess of Taehyung's thoughts into focus.

He's here. You need him.

It's a brisk walk to the end of the hallway, and then he's practically punching your apartment door, which swings open almost immediately as if Maya was waiting on the other side. She and Taehyung stare at each other for a brief moment, her mouth stretched into a tight line before she simply nods her head in the direction of the bathroom. Taehyung makes the final leg of the trip in five long strides before freezing in the doorway.

The fractured shards of his heart turn to dust.

You're curled up on the bathroom floor, a tangle of arms and hair covering your face as your body trembles with quiet sobs. They echo around the tile, filling the space between you until Taehyung thinks he can feel the sound burrowing itself under his skin, a morbid tattoo he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to erase. This image, he thinks, will surely haunt him for the rest of his life.

You. Completely and utterly broken.

He falls to his knees so he can brush your hair aside, the strands draping themselves over his fingers like a tether. Your face is red and stained with tears, and he reflexively wipes at the ones he sees rolling down your cheeks as you peer up at him, only now registering his presence.

"T-tae?"

"I'm here," he murmurs as his hands continue collect your tears, trying to carry them for you.

When you hear his voice, your cries start up again in earnest, and you reach out to clutch at his shirt. Taehyung immediately gathers you into his arms and tucks you into the haven of his chest, holding you like if he squeezes hard enough, he can press your broken pieces back together.

"T-tae...h-he..." you gasp at his collarbone, words failing you as Taehyung hugs you to him even tighter.

He runs his hands through your hair, presses kisses to the crown of your head, trails his fingers up the length of your back as you burrow into him, wails escalating.

"Shh, I've got you, baby."

He does. He'll hold you forever if he has to.

"I've got you."

NEXT

a/n: thoughts? guesses as to what taehyung used his wish on? likes, reblogs, and feedback give me life :)

taglist is open!

a/n 2: oh, fun fact. when jace caught oc going through his desk in part 1, he wasn’t even thinking about the ring box when his eyes flicked to the drawer. he was worried she was going to find the condoms, which would’ve been weird since they hadn’t used them in like two years (oof) (this isn’t plot relevant, just a detail tidbit lol)

[at-thestillpoint]

for the time for the urn ask game: 55, 69

[the "i'm old" asks]

55. Favorite high-effort meal that you make?

Most of my meals are low-effort, because I've really fallen off the meal prep train. I've been 1) ordering takeout during my last meeting of the day or 2) mixing fresh heirloom tomatoes, salt, and butter with pasta for dinner when I sign off work because it's invariably 7:30 and I am hungry.

I think my regular basis high-effort meal is a loaded salad of some form. It takes a lot of work to replicate anything off of sweetgreen's menu, especially if it involves the foresight to cook chicken and cleaning and chopping Tuscan kale. I've started prepping the kale on Sundays, and while that's a miserable hour, it does make for an easy veg to throw into above-mentioned pasta.

My favorite high-effort meal I've ever made (this has only ever happened once) was khao soi. I had it in Chiang Mai in December 2019, it blew my mind, and I couldn't stop thinking about it at some point early in the pandemic. What's a gal to do? Obviously, the answer is make a curry paste from scratch.

69. What are you looking forward to next week?

Olympics content has already taken over my entire TikTok feed, and I am HERE FOR IT. Bring on the abs and the stories of glory and redemption! I am inching closer to finishing the Olympics AU. I chose not to snooze my alarm an extra time this morning, and was rewarded with figuring out something I'd been stuck on and could not move past. That has lit in me a desire to keep writing. I also just bought some new pajama sets during the Lake summer sale, because that's what brings me joy these days.

But the thing I'm looking forward to that really proves my age is I'm headed out of town for a very good friend's baby shower next weekend.

[zquill]

2024 Resolutions

I can't deny the blend of eagerness and trepidation I felt (and feel) at moving to a remote area of Alaska. On the one hand I fear giving in to my isolationist tendencies, using my setting as an excuse. On the other, I'm really looking forward to having time to myself to focus on reading, art, and languages (I'm one cut Internet cable away from complete self-realization/utter insanity).

Complete my Calligrapha journal. Self-explanatory.

Develop steady habits. This is more vague, but there are a host of things, like yoga and embroidery, that I'd like to work on more consistently than I have. I'll certainly have the time for it given my new situation.

Improve my posture. Also self-explanatory.

Read as many of these books as I can, with a goal of 95 total on Goodreads, not including Kirkus reviews:

(I do have a small bookshelf ordered that should be arriving soon to help contain this sprawl.)

To supplement the above desire for sustained habits, I'm also going to try doing themed days/nights:

New Movie Monday. Compensating for what I know will be a complete dearth of motivation on Monday nights, I'm going with a softball that will nevertheless challenge me to consume new (to me) media once a week rather than just watching the same films and shows over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. I may expand this category to include shows.

Translation Tuesday. To work on the above featured stacks of manga and Japanese novels. I considered making going for the N1 in December a resolution, and I would like to start studying for that, but I'm not quite ready to commit myself. Maybe for 2025.

Embroidery Wednesday (there went the alliteration). To give myself a chance to catch up on podcasts/audiobooks, and to allow me time to return to those visual media I'm already well familiar with, as well as actually pick up this hobby again.

Inupiaq Thursday. There's apparently a beginner/intermediate class that meets Thursday nights right next to the library, so I'm going to check that out starting this week. We also have textbooks at the library and other resources.

Artsy Fartsy Friday (yay, the alliteration's back!). I'm back to a planner that leaves a large blank page every week that needs filling up, so I'll end the work week by doing just that with pencil sketches, ink drawings, and other doodles.

Social Saturday. This is my day to chat with family and friends, and there's a fabric arts group that meets the first Saturday of the month that I'd like to try attending. There's apparently also a thrift store that's open on the weekends if I can find a way to get to it.

Salubrious Sunday. Just a day to chill out before the start of the week while taking care of necessary domestic things like meal-planing and prep (laundry will be on Monday because I've already noticed a rush on the washing machine and dryer on weekends). This will also be the day my reviews tend to come due, so definitely a day for reading/writing.

We'll see how pairing resolutions with an ideal weekly schedule goes.

[indigo474]

sunday part 2-

did I do my whole new lift routine? not exactly but I did a lot more of it than I have in the past plus some. my meal prep for the week is done. i'm working on laundry and I am seriously considering taking a nap. I'm seeing my Mom this afternoon. i'm looking forward to the week ahead. I have a good feeling - about life. my life and where i'm at and the future.. I have a feeling that something or someone is on the way. I still fight an eternal battle between my brain and my heart. my brain takes me back to the past and feeling unsafe and all that has happened. my heart is full of gratitude for the present and the life I am living and knows I am safe. I'm staying away from the trauma recover videos for a little bit. I've decided to just live.. not every second of every day has to be about healing- living is also healing.

so Christine my team lead.. from the first week she was on my team I knew she was watching me.. clocking me. I mentioned it to my super and she said let her. 2 weeks ago I take my lunch. when I come back, before I could sit-down Christine says real loud- you know you weren't in a lunch code you were in a meeting code. I looked her in the eye and said you know it's not our job to monitor what code i'm in. it wasn't what I said but the way I said it. I was furious. I don't answer to her. she made up a lie about me signing a paper for her- I don't really know exactly what she said but I know it was a lie because 2 seconds before I walked away to go on my lunch I signed the paper for her so I'm not sure what she was actually trying to say. I had just met with her that day and I wanted to pull her in the office and talk but i knew it wasn't a good idea because of where my head was at. I wanted to ask her who the fuck she thought she was. I waited a week. I told her the interaction between us last week made me feel like I had to defend myself. she tried to play if off like she didn't know what I was talking about. Ohh you know- when you told me I was in the wrong code. I explained to her that I am a salaried employee so the codes I use don't matter. I get paid if I take a lunch or not and there are times when I don't take a lunch. I also explained to her that the job of a lead is not to monitor what I'm doing. I touched on professional boundaries. I tried to talk to her about some other things that I know she is doing that she shouldn't be. she denied doing them. I'm thinking just the fact that I brought it up would make her think twice about doing it again. I would think me bringing it up would be a sure sign to her that I know what shes doing?? people are dumb and she's a liar. at the end of our meeting she thanked me for talking to her about it.. out of all my reps she is the one I have to actively manage the most and it really shouldn't be that way. she's always trying to get over and she'll do things but wont take accountability for them. she likes to blame other people. the funny thing is.. i'm grateful to have the chance to manage someone like her. its good for me to be around difficult manipulative people so I can learn how to deal with them, it's not easy for me because that's not who I am.

[furiosamaxxing]

I went through so many character arcs this year. I tried keto, I was on therapeutic ketamine, I developed alopecia, I was on medical leave at work for like 6 months, I returned to work, I started a relationship with my family again, I quit therapy and psychiatric meds (doing great thanks for asking but I know people need it, it was just actually not necessary for me anymore. 😊), I quit weed, recently I quit alcohol and all other drugs too! No more yearly acid/shrooms trips with friends. Just sober me, I'll be everyone's trip sitter and I'm more than happy to be. Oh and I tried intermittent fasting too, I actually really liked that and felt really good doing that schedule and might go back to it one day soon! Oh and I went through a heavy research phase of getting into preservative free food and no processed foods, meal prepping everything from scratch on Sundays for the week. And ethical/sustainable clothing!!! (Treating workers right and buying clothes that last longer and use less chemicals in the process of being made.) I also went back to school for Cybersecurity this year.

Just reflecting on all the changes I went through personally. I was kind of all over the place, but what I learned through it all is that I want to treat my body and mind with great love and care, as well as the earth, and the animals, plants, and people who exist on it. I want to make each choice deliberately and mindfully. And I want to live with more hope and positivity in mind. For me, complete sober living is a huge step and I feel extremely good about making that choice and hope my friends support it!

What I hope for next year is to move down south finally, have a good amount in my savings account, keep consistent with work and my studies, and to really treat myself with my health in mind over all. Developing an autoimmune disorder was really a huge wake up call, especially while COVID and many other sicknesses will always be around. I want to go outside more, since my job and school is all inside on the computer. I want to make quality bonds with new people after I move. And maybe if I feel like everything is in order after I move, I really would like to adopt a puppy.

I have a lot going on next year but it's all stuff to look forward to, and I know I can do it all.

[vs-redemption]

Hajime’s brows furrow a little and he shakes his head about your worries*

“Cindy, it’s never annoying when you sent me pictures of the meals you’ve made. I always look forward to them and they always get me hungry! Sharing photos of our meals or what we came across randomly or even voice notes about our day was what I looked forward to each day. I like exchanging stuff like that but haha excuse me that I haven’t sent much of my own. Work’s had me busy last week so I’ve been eating out most nights. Makes me appreciate your bento more. Home cooked meals always hits the spot here and here,”

*He pats his tummy then his heart with a grin and a wink. He basks in the spring sun and cool breeze while you two finishes up lunch. His heart is still thumping around in his chest from nerves and giddiness; he wonders if it’s noticeable while he lounges and listens to you. You take him by surprise when you say that you don’t mind working for how he’ll spoil you, his eyes going a bit wide and blinks before smirking*

“Oh? I like that. Something tells me you’re gonna have me on my toes here and there. Letting you know right now, darlin’, you can make me work for it too,”

“We have the blanket if it does buuuut it is a bit small. So, we do have to cuddle close. Plus, sharing body heat is always a good way to keep warm. And an easy way to sneak a kiss on the cheek or two”

*He helps you clean up after all the lunch has been eaten and even wipes down the area. Hajime admires you for a moment when you stand, letting himself burn into his memory of the sun’s rays being your halo while sakura flutter about you. He wishes he could take a picture to preserve this stunning image for you but he didn’t wanna put you in an awkward spot. He gives you a tender smile and nod when you offer a hand, taking it tenderly while he lets you help him stand. Once up, he gets a little playful and twirls you away from him with a little laugh then has you spin back to him; his other hand finding your free one when you face him again. Hajime’s eyes sparkle with affection and playfulness; you can see that he’s earnest to explore with you*

“Ready to explore, sweetheart”

(yaho my dear! i hope you had a good holiday weekend. just wanna say i appreciate you ^w^ hope your work week goes well!)

*I feel so relieved when he reassures me that he'd enjoyed the pictures I'd sent. To be honest, I'd felt so shy the first time he'd sent me a voice note. I'd never gotten those from anyone before, so I'd been a blushing mess hearing his voice come out of my phone. I was slowly getting used to it though, and even getting brave enough to send a few of my own back. The phone calls and voice notes had helped me feel closer to him.* No worries. I get it. Most nights I'm too exhausted to cook too. That's why I've been trying to meal plan more on the weekends to save myself the temptation of eating out. But hearing that you haven't had many home cooked meals lately has me even more excited to cook for you next time.

*My cheeks feel warm when he touches his heart and winks at me. A part of me ached to offer to meal plan with him or even for him. It would make me happy to give him a stack of prepped meals on a Sunday, knowing he could come home and just heat it up and have a good hot meal during the week. Maybe it was a little early to be doing that kind of stuff though. Just the fact that I wanted to do that at all was a testament to just how much I liked him already.* *My breath catches at the way he smirks at me and predicts that I'll keep him on his toes. And when he tells me I can make him work for it so boldly, it's the first time that I really feel a strong wave of physical attraction. I'd been so giddy about how sweet he was and how well we'd gotten along so far, and obviously I'd noticed that he was attractive and a great kisser. But a hint of a new kind of chemistry had blossomed in my belly at that comment. And it had me blushing when he moved right along to talk about sharing body heat and sneaking kisses. It took me a second to gather my thoughts and reply.*

Making you work a little sounds kinda fun. *I admit with a shy smile. It surprised me when my first instinct when feeling so shy and vulnerable was to move closer to him and not away. I stay put where I am though, still getting used to the feelings he brought out in me.* In that case, I look forward to it getting chillier later so we have an excuse to be closer.

*My pulse doesn't get a moment to settle because it's off racing again just as soon as he takes my hand and spins me after we clean up the picnic. The look in his eyes when he takes my other hand and peers down at me with so much promise in his gaze has me feeling weak. I was in danger, but my fight or flight instincts weren't telling me to flee. They were telling me to stay and fight to keep this man at my side. I smile up and him and nod in agreement.* I'm ready too.

(Ahhhh Mod. I AM SWOONING. Hajime is such a good guy and that more feisty side coming out made me blush!)

[humansun]

i got NERVE (you got..you need to uncover)

Written Friday, July 21st, 2023 at 5:40PM

Hi. I have nerves. Running. All. Through my body.

Where am I at? I can barely think. It’s always when I’m talking to someone who is deeply self-aware that I start getting nervous and sweaty and stressed.

I desire to have wisdom. Just like these folks I admire. ANYWAY.

Normally after a call or informational with a high-profile individual, I want to call people and tell them about it. But, because I have the luxury of being at home, with my laptop, Wifi, and a fan (in this heat), I will take advantage of this blank document that I could wordbarf my feelings on! Yay.

Jesus. Why are people so amazing? It makes no sense. I need to thank the people who have done a lot for me in my life because why did they do these amazing things for me? I could never know.

For some reason right now, I thought about Disney and how walking away from it could have been a bad thing for me in a lot of different ways. I’m also thinking about how many people may have seen me walk away as a very idiotic thing to do, but I do not regret that decision whatsoever.

If I had not quit, I would have never gone through my interesting Vietnam travel experience. I would have never spent the last few months wandering around my community wondering what is going on in my life. I would have never found myself sitting here, in this chair, and thinking about all the things that I’m thinking in this moment.

My first biggest thought for Betty is:

You need to reach out to whoever inspires you, period. You never know what response you will get. You will never know who will be willing to support you. Do it. Don’t hesitate, and don’t, look, back.

The second big thought for Betty is:

You have yet to meditate, write creatively, or read today. That’s what you’re doing when you have your last meal. 

There are so many questions. So many! About what will happen in the next few months, if I’ll give myself a time limit, what can I do to really light that fire under my ass? How will I determine my path for success and a financially stable future? All the questions! (Cue Fuzzy’s “Oh Brother” Spongebob audio bite.)

I feel extremely grateful to have spoke to the people that I did. They are amazing. Women are awesome and underrated forever. I hope to grow immensely in the next couple months and years to be a better me whether physically, mentally, or creatively.

At this point, I just need to do the things that I say I will do and do them. Thank you!

Written 11:34PM

Bro, I need to work on my self-control. Sometimes, I’ll fall into a rabbit hole about other people’s lives because I’m not trying to handle my own business.

I had hot yoga a while ago, my bed seems free of ants, and I have a very packed day tomorrow where I basically can’t work on anything that I actually want to do unless I get less than 8 hours of sleep.

So Sunday has to be the day where I focus all my energy on moving forward in my career. Nothing less. 

I also need to prep my program application and have my sister or close friends review them before I submit. Blah. I feel like poo.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

First of all, many thanks to everyone that got involved with Throwback Thursday on my page. Yesterday’s word was PETS and the responses were superb! Ruth Arloff’s response made ‘War And Peace’ look like a pamphlet! You know what I’ve realised, I absolutely LOVE animals, as long as they belong to someone else! Being responsible for kids and grandkids is enough for me!

Today, I am teaching between 9.30-12.30. I will then rush home and make The Trouble her bacon sandwich. I then have 1-2-1 Zoom calls with my students until 6.30, although my son will be looking for his Friday Chinese meal around 6.00. He will have to wait! After dinner, I will prep for my radio show and probably finish work about 10.00. No Bank Holiday for me; on Monday, I am working from 10.00-5.00.

Linda Lewis’s death really upset me. As a student of British black music, Linda was right there at the beginning, alongside The Equals, The Real Thing, Billy Ocean, Heatwave, Osibisa, Delegation and Cymande. In the days before Light Of The World and Hi Tension, Linda was an absolute pioneer, making uniquely British soul music and forging her own sound.

To be honest, I am looking forward to a weekend of my favourite drama, The Premier League. Naturally, on Sunday, I will visit Sainsbury’s for the weekly shop and take The Mighty Josiah to the park but, otherwise, I will be in my favourite spot on the sofa, shouting at the telly! Whatever happens happens! Fortune’s always hiding, I’ve looked everywhere, I’m forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air.

Really hope you can join me tomorrow at 1.00 p.m. for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’, The Letter M (Pt. 9). You can definitely expect a few things you haven’t heard in ages. On my radio show, I always try to showcase ALL of the beautiful music available to us. In 2023, we are talking eight decades of soulful music. I heard George Kay play Ray Charles’s ‘I Got A Woman’ the other day and it sounded SO good!

Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

[spine-buster]

mutual pining, pt. 1

gif credit @/lovershines14

A/N: First author's note of the fic to let you know that this is 4000+ words of pure fucking fluff and I'm not even sorry about it!!!!! And just to let everyone know, each chapter is going to be named after tropes, so you have that to look forward to! *sings in the same beat as 'Shots' by LMFAO* TROPES TROPES TROPES TROPES TROPES TROPES

Bianca Yang felt like it was her duty to make sure Lusine didn’t get herself knee deep in shit. Honest to goodness, it felt like a part-time job. She realized within a week of them meeting that Lusine was book smart but not necessarily street smart. As she learned more about Lusine, everything sort of made sense, and so Bianca – being an only child, and secretly always longing for a younger sibling – took Lusine under her wing. It worked out for the better. They were best friends, roommates, and even though Bianca didn’t really need looking after, she knew Lusine looked out for her as much as she looked out for Lusine. It was just in different ways – Lusine would meal prep for the both of them every Sunday. Lusine would bake, and freeze things for later in the Tupperware she bought. Lusine took the job of cleaning their bathroom (Bianca chose the kitchen, and they were both responsible for their bedrooms and the living room), for which Bianca was forever grateful. Lusine even cleaned the fridge and oven when they moved in.

But despite all this, and despite being responsible, Bianca couldn’t help but arch her brow when Lusine told her, “I met a Maple Leaf.”

Bianca spun around in her desk chair. “You met a Maple Leaf.”

“Mhm,” Lusine nodded her head. “He was really nice. We had coffee together.”

“Coffee?!” Bianca wasn’t expecting that. “Which one was it? If you tell me it was Auston Matthews I’m gonna lose my shit.”

“You watch hockey?”

“Tell me who it was!”

“It was one of the Swedish guys. Rasmus Sandin,” Lusine revealed.

Bianca couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Of course it would be Lusine to meet a Toronto Maple Leaf. “How in the world did that happen?”

“Remember that day I called you when I was supposed to go on that date? With that guy Cara set me up with?” Lusine asked. Bianca nodded her head quickly. “Well he was awful – like, such a jerk. He was one of those commerce bros and kept offending me. And Rasmus was in the same coffee shop, overhearing the date, and he intervened pretending to be an old friend of mine who had moved to BC, and he got me out of it.”

Bianca’s eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. “Oh my God, Lusine. You’ve been waiting to tell me this for how many days?! That date was almost a week ago!”

“He wants to see me again.”

Bianca practically fell out of her chair. “Lusine!” she yelled, completely flabbergasted.

“He took me out for coffee since I forgot mine on the table after he whisked me away and we talked for like, an hour and a half, and I gave him my phone number and my Instagram and my Snap, and he gave me his number and his Instagram and his Snap, and now we’re supposed to see each other on Thursday,” Lusine couldn’t stop speaking.

Bianca never thought she’d hear those words come out of Lusine’s mouth. Lusine was a lot of things, and of course things happened to her – but going on an awful date and getting saved by a guy who played for the Maple Leafs who then took her on a coffee date and wanted to see her again after exchanging numbers? That was new. “D’you think he’s cute?” she asked. Lusine nodded her head. “Was he nice?” Lusine nodded. “Respectful?”

“He was everything,” Lusine said. “He was all of that.”

“Okay…well that’s a good thing,” Bianca tried to calm down. “If he was all those things, and you didn’t feel nervous around him because you guys spent an hour and a half together, that’s a good thing.”

“You don’t think he’s gonna, like, embarrass me, do you?” Lusine asked. Bianca furrowed her brows. “Like you don’t think he was just doing it to be nice or because he felt bad for me or whatever—”

“No,” Bianca interrupted with a strong voice. “I don’t think that at all. I know you’re not experienced with this sort of stuff, but you’re a fox and any guy would be falling over their feet to have a date with you. And I’m not just saying that.”

Lusine ruminated over Bianca’s words. Bianca never lied to her, so she was inclined to believe Bianca was telling the truth. Regardless if she was or not, Lusine had to believe it herself. “I already really like him,” she whispered out loud, admitting it to herself more so than to Bianca. “Can that happen to people? Only knowing someone for ninety minutes but already feeling…I don’t know, connected?”

“It happens all the time,” Bianca said. “I’m glad it’s happening to you so you can experience it.”

“How do you know who he is?” Lusine still wanted to know.

“I just know the big guys, the popular guys, because of my cousins,” Bianca cleared up. A mischievous smile appeared on her face. “Is he cute?”

A bashful smile took over Lusine’s face, and Bianca knew she got her. “He’s really cute.”

Bianca squealed in excitement. For all that she was shocked that this entire situation was happening, she was thrilled. Lusine deserved the best. Bianca wasn’t sure yet if hockey players were the best, or if Rasmus was the best, but she was excited nonetheless. “Let’s look him up,” she said quickly, spinning back around in her chair to type his name into Google.

“Bianca!”

***

“I think Rasmus has a secret girlfriend,” William told Aberdeen as he scooped the seasoned sweet potatoes out of the roast pan and into their plates.

Aberdeen furrowed her brows. “So?”

“So?!” William repeated. “So?!”

“You had a secret girlfriend for nine months!”

“That was different!”

Aberdeen gave him a look. “No it was not. Why do you even think he has a secret girlfriend?”

“He was two hours late that day I was supposed to get coffee with him the other day,” William revealed. “And he was acting weird when we were together.”

“Rasmus always acts weird. He’s Rasmus,” Aberdeen deadpanned. “What does it matter, anyway? Rasmus is 21. He’s old enough to date – he’s even old enough to drink in the States on road trips with you guys now.”

“Says the girl who made jokes two years ago about him being twelve years old,” William reminded her. Aberdeen scrunched up her face at him, and he mimicked her. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” William concluded.

***

***

Lusine had never had oysters before. So when Rasmus ordered a dozen for an appetizer, after not even looking at the menu, she was intrigued. He even ordered East Coast style, because apparently there was a difference. Lusine was impressed. They were sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant, which was quite full – there were even people waiting at the front. It seemed like a place for a more upscale clientele, and while Lusine didn’t exactly feel out of place as a university student, she did feel a bit…weird being there. The fact she was the guest of a hockey player probably allowed her to blend in. As she looked through the menu, she would catch Rasmus sneaking peeks at her. They’d both smile bashfully when they caught one another, only to carry on the game a few more times.

“Do you like oysters?” Rasmus asked, finally speaking instead of playing their little game. Truth be told, he felt like if it had gone any longer, he would have leaped across the table to kiss her.

“Never had them,” she revealed.

“No?”

“Nope.”

“You could have told me. I could order something you’ve had before,” Rasmus said. “I can call our waiter back. Do you want—”

“It’s okay,” she said, laying her menu down momentarily. “How are you the nervous one here? I thought I was supposed to be the nervous one.”

Rasmus saw her smile and took a deep breath. He had to remind himself that there was nothing to worry about. If she had agreed to go out with him tonight, there must have been something there with her, too. Not just him. And if she actually showed up – hell, that was as good a sign as any. They were just two people out on a date. “Neither of us should be nervous. We’re both here,” he said.

“Exactly.”

“How was school? What classes did you have?” he asked.

“I have Europe in the 20th Century Mondays and Wednesdays, and Tuesdays I have Canadian History and its tutorial before I work.”

“Where do you work?”

She smiled shyly. “Uh, I play in a band.”

Rasmus’s eyes lit up. “A band? Are you some kind of secret rockstar?”

“No,” Lusine giggled. “Definitely not. I…play the cello.”

His eyes lit up even more. “The cello?”

Lusine usually hated people’s reactions when she told them, but for some reason, she found Rasmus’s endearing. There was a genuine earnestness that he couldn’t hide which she picked up on right away. “Yeah, the cello.”

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Her cheeks flushed red at his reaction. “I don’t know about cute. It’s pretty nerdy. The thing’s almost bigger than I am.”

“Can I hear you play sometime?” he asked.

He was already thinking about the future, about the next times they would meet. Lusine liked that. She liked how she was already comfortable with the idea of it, too. And the fact that at least one of the next times would revolve around her playing cello – since she tried to hide it from people in the past, it was a surprise to her. It wasn’t that she was ashamed – she was the only person she knew who played – it was just that she didn’t want to keep hearing the same comments over and over. Once was fine. Twice was gratuitous. Three times was enough. “Sure,” she nodded her head slightly. “I play with a quartet and we usually play the like, more upscale university events. We usually do events at private clubs too. Like on Tuesday night we were playing at the National Club.”

Rasmus had no idea what that was, but it didn’t matter. “That’s so cool,” he said instead, smiling. “I can’t wait. I—”

“Okay folks, what can I get you to drink with those oysters?” the waiter interrupted their conversation abruptly, holding his notepad in his hand ready to write.

“Which white do you recommend?” Rasmus asked immediately, eyeing the waiter, trying to tell him with his eyes that it was okay if he recommended the $145 bottle of chardonnay he saw on the wine list earlier.

“Our bottle of Napa Valley chardonnay is quickly becoming a patron favourite,” the waiter took his cue. Rasmus smiled. “Shall I bring two glasses?” the waiter looked at Lusine.

“Can I have a glass of water with lemon? I don’t drink.”

FUCK!!! Rasmus panicked. His face dropped from his smile as he looked back up at the waiter. “Two glasses of water with lemon,” Rasmus said quickly, correcting himself. The waiter smirked before nodding and telling them the oysters were almost fully shucked and would be out soon. Rasmus focused his attention back on Lusine – how could it not be on her? “You don’t drink?”

“Not on da—well—not—that’s not an offence to you—I just don’t drink on first dates. I want to remember them,” she stuttered out. She realized through her stuttering that she’d said the D word…date. She froze slightly. “This—I mean, this is a date, right?”

“This is most definitely a date.”

She let out her breath. And then, a gentle smile. Rasmus smiled too. “Good date so far,” she commented. “Much better than my last date, at least,” she joked.

The oysters were brought out on a platter of ice. Since Lusine had never had them, she wasn’t expecting it. They looked weird, but sort of appetizing, and at least the waiter explained what the different accompaniments were. When the waiter left, Rasmus let her pick one up first. She picked up the biggest one on her side of the dozen. She and Rasmus clinked them like they were champagne flutes playfully, and she watched out of the corner of her eye how Rasmus sucked it back and chewed before swallowing. She did the same.

Her eyes widened as she chewed and swallowed. Rasmus looked on nervously. “You like?”

“These are delicious!” Lusine exclaimed, picking up another one. Rasmus couldn’t help giggling as he watched her spoon some mignonette sauce and suck back like she did the first. Her eyes stayed wide as she chewed a few times before swallowing. “Seriously delicious!”

“Happy you like them,” Rasmus smiled as he picked up his second.

“Can we just—can we just keep ordering these by the dozen for our meal?” Lusine asked hesitantly, not knowing if Rasmus had a go-to order or anything. “I mean, if you have something, then—”

“Of course we can. You like them that much?” he asked. She nodded. “Then we’ll just have oysters. You’re an easy date, Lusine,” he joked, giving her a quick wink.

“I’m just easily impressed,” she said as he sucked back his oyster. “I mean, all you had to do was walk up to my table in a coffee shop and say ‘Lusine?’,” she teased. She was grateful this date was going much better than that one.

“Can I ask you a question?” Rasmus asked.

“Of course.”

“When we were out for coffee, you mentioned that you were never supposed to go to U of T. Where were you supposed to go instead?”

For the first time that night, Rasmus saw her divert her eyes to somewhere other than him. That was new. They’d been making googly-eyes at each other all night besides when they looked at the menu. “I guess just, like, somewhere close to home. A local college or whatever,” she said. “My parents didn’t want me moving too far away from home.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Uh, the northern suburbs—well, not even the suburbs. Like, basically this random, three-street subdivision in farmland where all the houses look like they came from Stepford Wives because they were built next to a golf course,” Lusine revealed.

“You sound like you didn’t like it.”

“I hated it,” she said. “Well I didn’t—I—that’s wrong. I didn’t hate it. I think I just outgrew it. You can love things but outgrow them. Or, like, want to move on from them. And I definitely outgrew it and wanted to move on from it.”

Rasmus watched as she bit her bottom lip nervously. It was obvious she didn’t like talking about it, or at least not right now, so he decided to shift focus. “Did you have any siblings?”

“Three older brothers,” she revealed. “Etienne, Beau, and Delaney.”

All quite unique names, Rasmus thought. Even Lusine was unique – maybe her parents were just that type. “And you got along?”

“Yeah. I mean, as much as we could. Etienne is twelve years older than me, Beau is ten years, and Delaney is eight years. We got along as much as the youngest girl can get along with three older brothers.”

They both sucked back another oyster. Rasmus wondered if he should continue the conversation. She wasn’t exactly forthcoming with words or details about her family, at least not like he would be if she asked him about his parents or Linus or anything. He’d have loads of stories to tell about them and about growing up in Uppsala, playing hockey, and anything else, really. The eye contact was the big giveaway for him. She was still looking around in between looking at him.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked suddenly.

“Of course.”

“When did you move to Canada?”

“In 2017,” he revealed. “I moved to Sault Ste. Marie to play junior hockey when I was seventeen.”

Lusine thought to who she was at seventeen – really, it was only two years ago – and was unsure she would have been able to do what Rasmus did. Moving from some small town to Toronto was one thing, because she only grew up about an hour and a bit from the city and its suburbs. But to move to a completely different country, with a different language? That took a certain kind of strength Lusine didn’t know if she had in her yet. “Were you scared? That’s pretty young to move halfway across the world.”

Rasmus shrugged. “I don’t think I was scared. I lived with a billet family so I was just excited about playing hockey in Canada. It was definitely different, and I missed my family, but by that point I’d moved away from home since I was like fourteen or fifteen to play hockey.”

Fourteen? Fifteen? Lusine couldn’t even imagine. If her parents had heard that story, they would have had heart attacks. “So why junior hockey in Canada?”

“There’s just no real comparison playing junior hockey in Sweden versus playing junior hockey in Canada. In Sweden we’d maybe get fifty people in the stands and it was all our moms and dads,” he told her. “In the Soo we’d get like five thousand people attending home games. I was hungry to make it to the NHL so me, my family, and my agent decided it was the best thing for me to do.”

Lusine could understand that – wanting something so bad you were willing to risk it and do whatever it takes to get it. “And do you like Toronto?” she asked, sucking back her fourth oyster.

“I love Toronto,” Rasmus smiled. “Especially when I get to meet people like you.”

***

Rasmus paid for dinner. He’d lost track at how many oysters they had but truthfully, he didn’t even look at the bill when it arrived. Lusine had the audacity to move to reach for her purse. He stopped that before she could even lay a hand on the purse strap. She thanked him profusely and he kept telling her it was fine.

By that point, the restaurant was packed. Lusine didn’t think it would get that busy on a Thursday night (a Friday or Saturday maybe, considering its location) but it was filled to the brim; every table was full and there was a huge crowd of people waiting at the front and outside waiting for a table. She almost felt bad for taking up so much time, but on second thought, she didn’t feel bad about spending so much time with Rasmus.

She had to make her way through the crowd of people. She was petite, and quite unassuming, so she knew she’d have a hard time. Everybody was either glued to their phones waiting or in lively conversation with one another. A few of the men were in suits and Lusine wondered if they had come straight from work. “Excuse me,” she said, but nobody seemed to hear her since nobody seemed to move. “Excuse me,” she tried more forcefully, but still nothing.

“Let me,” Rasmus said, putting a hand around her waist. “Excuse me!” he half-yelled, and finally, people noticed them and began shuffling out of the way as much as they could. Lusine was brushing up against a few people as Rasmus and his arm around her waist guided her through, but she didn’t even realize who or what she was brushing up against – all she could focus on was the feeling of Rasmus’s arm around her waist. It was hypnotic. It was firm yet gentle, sturdy yet still allowed her to move. It was only when they stepped outside and Lusine noticed the line of people outside did she realize she was holding her breath.

She and Rasmus turned away from the line. She felt his arm drop once he saw they were in the clear, and she didn’t know why, but she wanted him to keep it there. When she looked at him, he was already looking at her. “Thanks for that,” she offered.

“Can I walk you back home?” he asked back.

She would have liked him to, but she had to stick to her rules. Plus, it wasn’t like she’d never taken the subway alone at night. She did a couple of times a week, whether it was because of work ending late or a late class. So, she shook her head. “You can walk me to the subway.”

“Not home?”

“No. Not on the first date.”

Rasmus nodded, accepting her decision. “Is the jury still out on if I’m a serial killer?” he asked playfully as they began to walk in the direction of the nearest subway station.

She let out a laugh. “I think the jury’s made their decision.”

“And?”

“Not a serial killer,” she offered. “At least not in Canada. But there may have been crimes in Sweden.”

Rasmus’s eyes widened. “Whoa ho ho!!” he gasped playfully, causing her to laugh even more. “Jesus! That’s harsh!”

“It’s the hair.”

Rasmus stopped dead in his tracks dramatically. Lusine began laughing her head off. “Okay, alright! I see how it is! I see now!” he continued to play along. “You make fun of my hair. That’s how it’s gonna be then, eh? Okay.”

“You can make fun of something of mine.”

“See, I’m a nice guy, so I’m not gonna do that,” he winked.

“C’mon! One dig!”

“Nope,” Rasmus shook his head. “I’m way too nice. Way too nice.”

Lusine rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you’ll think of something eventually,” she said as they crossed the street. She wasn’t exactly happy to see the TTC sign so close and so soon. “When’s your next game?”

“Saturday.”

“Who are you guys facing?”

“Ottawa.”

“I’ll be watching,” she said, smiling softly. They had finally made their way to the top of the steps that led underground, but she made no effort to say goodbye or even step down a single step. She wanted to squeeze in as much time with him as she could.

“I’ll make sure to impress you then,” he said biting his bottom lip and stepping closer towards her. There was a moment of silence between the two of them before he spoke again. “Can I kiss you?”

To his demise, Lusine shook her head once more. “No.”

He got nervous. Why not? Was it something he did? Was it something he said during dinner? Did he make disgusting noises while sucking back oysters and she was one of those people who hated being able to hear people it? “Is it bec—”

“It’s not—no,” she interrupted him, knowing immediately what he was going to say. “This was honest to God probably the best date I’ve ever been on,” she confessed to him, making him smile. “I just don’t—like the walking me home—it’s just, like a rule, I guess—like a—”

“—Not on the first date,” he said her words from earlier.

She nodded, thankful he was understanding. “Not on the first date.”

“Can I at least hug you?” he asked,

When she extended her arms, he wrapped his around her body and held her close – so close she could smell his cologne, and the scent of him was good. Every woman appreciated a good cologne, she thought, and she was no different. She didn’t exactly have much to stack it up against, but it didn’t matter. Lusine was willing to spend an extra five minutes just hugging him awkwardly so she could keep smelling it.

After a long hug, Rasmus was the one to pull away. “I’ll see you soon,” he said softly.

A rush of excitement washed through her body at the prospect. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, taking a step back. “Text me when you get back to your apartment.”

“I will,” she said, stepping down on the first step, but looking over her shoulder back at him. “Bye Rasmus.”

“Bye Lusine.”

Rasmus watched her descend down the steps, watched as she offered one last wave, watched as she finally disappeared behind a wall.

He was dizzy.

***

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: as you spend more time with your patient's neighbour, you come to realise that your crush may be getting too much

warning/s: none, just fluff tbh

author's note: i’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first part! here’s the next bit :)

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

When Sunday rolled around, I did everything in my power to make it the perfect day for Anna. We went out for breakfast at a café around the corner, a stroll around the park, then I made her lunch before she conked out afterwards, napping in her bedroom. I took that as my chance to decorate the living-area with birthday decorations. Nothing too much as I knew she'd kill me if I went overboard, but little things like a banner, some balloons and streamers.

I told Wanda to come at this time, too, and she showed up with a bag of groceries and a pretty smile on her face.

"Here, let me help," I said, already moving to take the bag off her. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she said, closing the door behind her and following me into the kitchen. Her smile widened when she saw the decorations. "Y/N, this is lovely! Anna is going to love it!"

"You think?" I asked, spinning around and doing a once over of the living-area. "It's not too much? I know she'll hate if I do too much."

"It's just the right amount," Wanda reassured, glancing at me. "How has she been today?"

We both began to unpack the groceries as we talked.

"Really good actually," I said with a nod. "I treated her to breakfast at that café she likes. We went to the park, fed the ducks, had a nice stroll. Then I made her some lunch and she's napping which leaves us the perfect time to crack on with dinner."

Wanda chuckled. "Great." She paused, making me look to her to see her smile fading. Nervously, she asked, "Did her granddaughter call?"

I sighed quietly and Wanda seemed to know what that meant without me saying anything further. 

"It's okay, we'll just have to make this the best meal ever," she said, not letting it get to her.

"We will," I agreed, before looking to the food on the table. "So, chef. Where do we start?"

Wanda and I spent the next hour prepping dinner, a beef stew called Solyanka, as it would require two hours to cook on the stove so we were starting early to make sure it would be ready in time.

I was chopping some onions as she prepared the beef, but I couldn't help myself from glancing at her every two seconds, still filled with concern because of her cast and minor injuries.

"You should take a picture, it'll last longer," she said teasingly, making me look up to see her watching me with a stifled smile.

"Sorry," I mumbled, shaking my head and looking back to my chopping board.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

I chewed on my lip as I glanced at her wrist again, before meeting her gaze. "How did it happen?"

"I already told you," she reminded me playfully, trying to lighten the mood, but I was still fretful. "It happened on a mission."

"Yeah, but how?" I asked again, hoping she understood what I meant.

She seemed reluctant to share, face scrunching up with thought, before looking down to her own chopping board. I thought she wouldn't tell me, but then she spoke.

"I can't tell you too much," she started, shrugging, "since it was a confidential mission. But basically, I was undercover when my target recognised me and we got into a fight."

Watching her with the utmost attention, I nodded, imagining it in my head.

"It wasn't difficult or anything, but it surprised me, y'know?" She looked to me with a smile, as if trying to make it sound less scarier than it was. "The guy, the target, he managed to get in few good hits. And he sprained my wrist. But it's alright."

I wasn't as amused as she was, wincing at the thought of her being in a fight. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She tilted her head knowingly. "I'm sure, Y/N. It's my job."

Shaking my head, I looked back down to my chopping board and continued chopping the onion. "I don't know how you can do that as a job..."

"Well, it's rewarding," she said like it was obvious. "Why do you spend most of your week caring for the elderly?"

"It's rewarding," I said without hesitation, before realising what she'd done and looking her way.

She was smiling cockily, making me roll my eyes and laugh.

"Okay, I see your point," I gave in. "But still. It's a dangerous job what you do. Just be careful, yeah?"

"Always am," she promised. And I wanted to believe her, but the cast on her wrist said otherwise.

—

"It smells like home, devochki, spasibo (girls, thank you)," Anna said from her place at the table. "Are you sure you don't want me to help?"

"We're sure, Anna," Wanda called back to her. "I'm just putting the food into a serving bowl and Y/N is grabbing some glasses. You sit and wait like the patient woman I know you are."

Anna mumbled something in Russian which I didn't understand, but it seemed to make Wanda chuckle as she rolled her eyes.

It was finally time for dinner and the stew had turned out beautifully, not that I had doubts since Wanda didn't seem like one to kid around with cooking.

As she was readying it for the table, I was setting everything up and all that was left were the glasses. But, of course (and oddly enough, since Anna was shorter than I), they were stored on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard and just out of my reach.

In hindsight, I probably could have grabbed a stool and stood on it, but I was too lazy, so I went on my tip-toes and stretched with all my might. The tips of my fingers brushed against a glass and I attempted to move it towards me, unable to see if I was actually doing anything since it was too high. After a couple of tries, I managed to bring it forward, but my stupid self flicked it too hard and it came tumbling off the shelf and towards the counter.

I braced myself for the sound of glass smashing, but instead, a wondrous red energy wrapped itself around the glass and kept it suspended mid-fall.

"Very clever," Wanda said sarcastically, appearing directly beside me. Her accent was daringly teasing.

I looked up and saw her smirking at me with amusement, right hand raised and aimed at the glass. Red tendrils of energy glowed around her hand and the glass; I widened my eyes a little, amazed at how easy she made it look. Though I knew she had powers, I'd never actually seen her use them up close and personal. It was stunning.

"I totally knew you were going to do that," I played it cool, cheeks flushing as she set the glass on the counter.

"Mhm, sure you did," she played along with a melodious laugh, before pressing her front to my back without warning and reaching to grab two more glasses. "Here, I got it."

My body tensed at the feeling of her unexpectedly so close to me. My mouth went dry, her warmth emanating from her and washing over me with the scent of her perfume. Did she always smell so good?

When she grabbed all three glasses, she didn't seem to notice the effect she had on me (unless she did and kept quiet for her own amusement).

"Think you can grab the food without dropping it?" she asked, quirking an entertained brow.

Still distracted by her perfume, I nodded and cleared my throat. "Food. Right. Yeah."

As I stirred the stew to mix everything thoroughly, I felt my heart rate return to its normal pace and told myself to chill out. Wanda just happened to be an extremely pretty individual who was kind and thoughtful and funny. It wasn't a big deal.

When I was sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself, I returned to the dining table with a pot of stew and set it down on the placemat.

"Priyatnogo appetita (enjoy your meal)," I said, trying not to stumble over my pronunciation. 

Both Anna and Wanda raised their brows with matching surprised smiles on their faces.

"You said that perfectly, Y/N!" Wanda said encouragingly, as I took a seat to the right of Anna at the head of the table.

"I see you've been practicing," Anna added, looking to me with an endearing gaze. "A present in itself. Thank you, milaya (sweetie)."

I smiled bashfully. "I have to keep up with you both somehow, right?"

Anna chuckled as Wanda gave me a brilliant smile. Something in my chest stirred as she did, and I was forced to look away, though my own smile didn't fade.

"So, Y/N and I put this together for you and I'm sure you'll know what it is," Wanda said, before serving up a bowl for Anna.

"Solyanka," Anna exclaimed with delight. "Devushki (girls), this looks and smells amazing." She paused, glancing between us both with a grateful smile. "Since you've both been here, this place... it's beginning to feel alive again."

To my surprise, she teared up and began to laugh, using her napkin to pat the corner of her eyes. I rested my hand on hers, squeezing it gently and giving her a small smile.

"I appreciate this very much," she continued, before squeezing my hand and letting go to grab her spoon. "I can't wait to try it."

The three of us dug into our stew and Anna loved it, talking about the first time she ever had it as a kid and how it was one of her favourite dishes. The rest of the meal went by wonderfully, with Anna looking as happy as ever and Wanda listening to her intently. I was listening, too, but my gaze did end up wandering to Wanda as she sat there animatedly, nodding along and smiling to Anna.

For some reason, she was ethereal tonight, though she looked like she always did. Her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and she wore a loose tee shirt over some jeans. Nothing fancy, but she pulled it off so well. Rings adorned her fingers as she played with them thoughtlessly, and it caught my eye before I got distracted by her cast on her left wrist.

She'd said she was okay, but it still worried me. It wasn't my right to worry, but she was my friend. I was concerned. She could take care of herself, but that wouldn't put the ache in my heart at ease.

As if she could hear my concerns, her eyes flickered to mine, a kaleidoscope of blue, green and gold. She sent me a reassuring glance before looking back to Anna with focus. I chewed on my lower lip, trying not to let my worry get the best of me, before looking back to Anna.

Towards the end of the meal, after we'd eaten and were merely conversing, Anna's landline rang in the apartment.

"I'll get it," Wanda said, already standing up to grab the phone from its cradle.

Anna and I watched as she answered the phone with a friendly 'hello', before a surprised expression appeared on her face.

"Sure, I'll pass it on now," Wanda was saying before approaching the table and stopping by Anna. Her expression softened as she said to Anna, "It's Sasha."

Anna's expression fell at the mention of her granddaughter. She nodded slightly, before standing up and grabbing her cane to balance. Accepting the phone, she began to walk away into her bedroom. Wanda and I heard her say a faint 'hello' before she closed the door behind her.

"Her granddaughter rang?" I asked with mild disbelief.

"It is her birthday," Wanda pointed out, returning to her seat.

"Bit late into the day though, isn't it?" I retorted, pulling a face. "Almost like the day is over, in fact."

"Sounding a little judgemental there, Y/N," Wanda teased, leaning forward into the palm of her hands and watching me.

"I'm not," I said with an eye roll. "I just think she should show her grandmother some respect. Who does she think she is?"

I paused as Wanda gave me a knowing look, then winced.

"Okay, I heard it that time," I admitted, making her laugh.

"I get it," she said, nodding slightly. "Maybe she's finally starting to realise though."

I sighed, leaning back in my seat. "I guess... For Anna's sake, I hope so."

Wanda and I talked amongst ourselves until Anna returned silently, hushing our conversation. She returned the phone to its cradle before taking a seat at the head of the table. Wanda and I exchanged looks before I decided to speak, noticing Anna wouldn't.

"Is Sasha doing okay?" I asked gently.

Anna was staring ahead, barely listening, before she glanced at me then looked down to her empty bowl. Sentences left her lips in Russian, mumbled and incoherent, at least to me. Wanda leaned forward, holding her hand and frowning with sympathy as she listened to her words. I felt horrible, sensing something was wrong, but unable to do anything to help.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I didn't mean to upset you," I said, shaking my head.

Wanda met my gaze. "It's not your fault... Anna just misses Sasha."

I frowned. "Oh."

"But I'm glad I have you both," Anna finally spoke, accent thick with emotion, as she looked between us before settling her eyes to me. "Even if you're paid to be here."

She cracked a smile, making my shoulders relax. I returned her expression, glad she still had a sense of humour.

Anna didn't mention Sasha's name for the rest of the evening. We cleaned up, had some tea, played a quick board game before I made sure she was okay for the night.

"She alright?" Wanda asked when I closed Anna's bedroom door and stepped into the hall.

"Yeah, she's tired from all of today's excitement," I said with a smile.

"So are you by the sounds of it," she joked, but stepped forward to rest a hand on my arm. "I think we should call it a night."

"I think we should," I said in agreement.

After grabbing my stuff, Wanda and I left the flat before walking to her apartment and stopping outside.

"Thanks for helping me out today," I told her with a tired smile. "I really appreciated it."

"Well, you asked so nicely... how could I resist?" she said, staring up at me through her eyelashes. I rolled my eyes playfully, making her smile. "I had fun. Thanks for inviting me."

I was going to respond, but a yawn escaped my lips, prompting me to cover my mouth as I did.

"Sorry," I said, trying to blink the fatigue away momentarily.

She chuckled, tilting her head and watching me carefully. "You're cute."

I breathed out through my nose, unsure what to say to her words, but I definitely felt my heart rate speed up a little.

"I'll let you go," she said, clearly entertained by my silence. "Get home safe, yeah?"

"And you look after yourself when saving the world, yeah?" I replied with a quirked brow, eyes glancing at her wrist.

"I promise." She grinned before moving forward to hug me.

I returned the hug, the smell of her perfume permanent in my nose by now, before pulling away with a final smile. Of course, I probably shouldn't have stared at her lips so intensely, wanting nothing more than to kiss them.

"See you tomorrow," I said, snapping back into reality and taking a step back. "Goodnight, Wanda."

"Goodnight," she said sweetly.

I turned to leave and was suddenly wide awake. Did I just think about kissing Wanda?

—

It was a few visits later when I was caring for Anna and she decided to have a dance around the living room. One minute we were flicking through different radio stations, and the next she was putting on some old records on her record player. She settled on an upbeat, 50s dance song, the music filling the apartment with joy.

"Egor and I danced to this very song when we first met," she told me, talking about her late husband with a twinkling passion in her eyes. "It was a party and he had been staring at me all night, and I him. Then finally, when this song came on, he approached me and said, 'dorogaya, okazyvayesh' mne chest' tantsevat' so mnoy?'"

I suppressed a smile as I watched her reminisce. "And that means...?"

"'Darling, would you do me the honour of dancing with me'?" she repeated in English for my benefit.

My heart melted. "Anna, that's adorable. He sounds like such a gentlemen."

"He was," she said with a sigh of agreement, smiling to herself.

Whenever she talked about her husband, I'd never seen her look more content. The mere mention of his name was enough to put a smile on her face. I could only hope to have a love like theirs some day.

I stepped forward, putting out my hand. "I'm no Egor, but I'd love to dance with you if you'd let me."

"Oh, I can't do that," she said, waving my hand away. "I can barely walk, milaya (sweetie)."

"Hey, as your carer, I am insisting that you dance with me," I said, feigning sternness.

She hesitated, before resting her hand in mine and smiling with gratitude. The two of us danced together, myself being careful to keep her upright and make sure she didn't overexert herself. She was smiling and laughing as I spun her around, dancing her all around the living room, and it warmed my heart to see her so cheery.

A knock on the door caused me to excuse myself from Anna, only to find Wanda on the other end.

"Someone's in a good mood," she said instantly, taking note of my smile.

I stepped to the side to let her in. "Yeah, well, Anna is doing good today. It's contagious, what can I say?"

Before Wanda could respond, Anna called from the living-area with excitement.

"Wanda, idi syuda i potantsuy so mnoy!" she exclaimed, already grabbing Wanda's hand and pulling her in.

It didn't take a genius to know that Anna had basically asked Wanda to dance with her. I chuckled as I followed after them, enjoying the sight of Anna and Wanda dancing together.

"What's the occasion?" Wanda asked, glancing over the short woman and to me with a helpless smile.

"No occasion," I quipped, crossing my arms and trying to hold in my laughter at Anna's speed and perseverance with a reluctant Wanda. "Just having a good time."

Wanda looked like she wanted to retort with a comment, but Anna spun her around before she could, making me laugh aloud.

"Prikhodi odin, milaya (come on, sweetie)!" Anna said, holding out a hand. "Dance!"

Unable to resist, I joined in with the two Sokovian women, appreciating how happy Anna looked and how awkward Wanda felt in the situation. She wasn't much of a dancer, but she was trying and God was that adorable.

We danced for a little while longer until Anna's back began to hurt and she took a seat. Though, she insisted that Wanda and I resume with our dancing.

Just on time, like a sign from the universe or a higher being or whatever you wanted to believe in, a slow song came on next, filling the apartment soothingly.

To my surprise, the awkward dancer that was Wanda was oddly confident as she held out her hand to me.

"Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" she asked softly, a small smile playing on her lips.

At the familiarity of her words, I glanced to Anna, who seemed to pick up on it, too. She said nothing as she watched us with a smile of her own.

"I'd love to," I said, looking back to Wanda's eyes.

They looked blue in the light, a beautiful sky blue that put me at ease as soon as I stared into them. I slipped my hand into hers, letting her pull us closer together as she rested her other hand on my waist, the touch sending shivers up my spine. I put mine on her shoulder, allowing her to take the lead.

It was the most intimate we'd been, and as she maintained eye contact, I wondered if she could feel my hands trembling slightly, or my heart hammering loudly, or my palms turning a little sweaty. She made me nervous in the best way possible, her smile dazzling without realising and her eyes piercing without meaning to be.

She must have felt it, too, that tug in the pit of her stomach that I was feeling now. Otherwise there was something seriously wrong and I was already too deep into a crush on my patient's neighbour.

When the song ended, it feeling like mere seconds in total, she let go of me and I missed the contact and the smell of her perfume and the way she was looking at me.

"Couldn't have done it better myself," Anna spoke, forcing me to tear my gaze from Wanda's lips. She smiled at me knowingly. "You ladies definitely know how to dance."

I felt a heat creeping up my neck as I smiled to myself, distracting myself with the laces on my shoes. When I finally brought myself to look up, I saw Wanda already looking my way, a calm expression on her face.

As she did most times she visited, Wanda stayed with me and Anna until I tucked Anna into bed and bid her a goodnight. We left the apartment and Wanda decided to walk me to the lift that evening, a distracted look on her face.

It was silent between us, a comfortable one, until the doors slid open and I looked to her with kind eyes.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, making her look to me. "Have a nice evening, Wanda."

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. I watched with amusement, wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers. The lift doors began to shut, so I put my foot between them to keep them open.

"I should go," I said with an awkward laugh, before grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently since she wouldn't speak. "Goodnight."

When I turned to leave, I got, maybe, a step into the lift before I felt her fingers wrap around my wrist and tug me backwards, spinning me around. I didn't get chance to ask what was up as she stepped forward, pressing her lips to mine in an instant.

Startled, I froze at the contact, but then her hand rested on the back of my neck as her thumb caressed my jaw, and I found myself melting into her, closing my eyes at the blissful feeling.

Her other hand fell to my waist as she deepened the kiss, sending me into the lift and the wall hitting my back. I moved my lips in time with hers, revelling at how soft and delicate and gentle she was being. Kissing Wanda Maximoff wasn't something I had realised would be this good, but now that I was, I never wanted to stop.

Unfortunately, the sound of the lift doors shutting pulled us apart. I was breathless, my heart racing and my lips swollen from her spectacular kiss.

"I've wanted to do that for such a long time," she revealed, stepping back a little. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed as she watched me with mild concern. "I completely should have asked though. I'm sorry that I overstepped."

She pursed her lips, forefinger and thumb pinching her bottom lip regretfully and gaze falling to the floor.

"You didn't overstep," I said, already missing the sensation of her lips against mine. "You stepped just the right amount."

She looked back up, eyes softening as her lips curved into a radiant smile.

"You wanna, maybe, do that again?" I asked without thinking, my mind a haze as Wanda still remained so close to me.

She laughed melodiously before raising her hand and cupping my cheek. Her eyes looked between mine before falling to my lips affectionately.

"I'd love to, dorogoy (darling)."

I smiled toothlessly before closing the gap between us, secretly wishing this lift ride would go on forever if it meant I could kiss Wanda like this.

—

After making out with Wanda in the lift, she asked me out on a date and it was the best date I'd ever been on. Nothing over the top but very thoughtful as she took me for a picnic in the park before getting ice cream for dessert.

We went on a few more dates after that, taking turns to take the lead with them, and she ended up asking me to be her girlfriend which of course I said yes to.

All whilst this was going on, I still cared for Anna and Wanda paid her visits when she could, though we tried to remain as normal as possible. We didn't think it was best to tell Anna that we were together since we didn't want to startle her or make her feel uncomfortable in our presence. Of course, keeping a secret from Anna is as good as nothing when she had eyes like a hawk.

Wanda and I were putting a plate of tea and biscuits together for Anna one day, myself lining up the biscuits neatly as Wanda lingered beside me. She was about to grab a biscuit from the plate when I smacked her hand away.

"Just one," she pleaded, but I shook my head before nodding to the packet on the side.

"Help yourself to those," I told her condescendingly. "These are for Anna."

"Just get her another," she said simply, before reaching over again.

I smacked her hand away again, giving her a knowing look.

"Y/N!"

"Wanda!" I mirrored her childish smile.

She narrowed her eyes petulantly. "Are you seriously doing this right now?"

"Are you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She pouted and I so badly wanted to lean forward and kiss it away, but Anna was sat on her recliner behind us. Wanda seemed to know this as a mischievous smile fell on her lips, eyes watching me carefully.

"You're not cute," I mumbled, before grabbing the tray and turning to leave. As I was walking to Anna, a biscuit began to float off the plate, red wisps of energy wrapped around it and bringing it to– "Wanda!"

She laughed, eyes glowing red with magic, before grabbing the biscuit from mid-air and taking a bite.

"Such a child," I said under my breath before setting the tray on the coffee table before Anna. Smiling at her, I said, "Here you go, Anna. Do you want anything else?"

As I straightened up, flipping Wanda off behind my back and encouraging her laughter further, I noticed the way Anna looked between us both curiously.

"Everything okay?" I asked, eyebrows knitting together as she continued to study us both.

"Something happened," she decided. "Between you both."

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch. "Nothing happened."

"Something definitely did," she said knowingly. "I may be old, milaya (sweetie), but I have very good eyes."

"Anna, what are you talking about?" Wanda played dumb, taking a seat beside me, biscuit in hand.

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you two steal glances when you think I'm not looking," she said, pointing between us. "Or the way you," her finger settled on Wanda, "have been helping Y/N out more often than usual."

Wanda and I flushed, embarrassed that we'd been caught out. I was so certain that we'd successfully hid it from her, but clearly we were mistaken.

"We wanted to tell you," Wanda began, cheeks still pink as she leaned forward.

Anna silenced her with a wave of her hand. "Save it. I knew I was right. You two are together."

Pursing my lips, I waited for her to say something because I wasn't really sure what to say myself. Suddenly, a smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm very happy for you both," she said to us. "Wanda here always needed somebody in her life who wasn't me. And you, Y/N, are the perfect match for her."

I chuckled, looking to the girl in question, whose face was as red as her powers that she used to torment me with. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, and nudged her in the shoulder.

"You hear that? Perfect match," I teased, making her roll her eyes to distract from her flustered self.

Anna said something to her in Russian, way too fast and incomprehensible for me to understand, even with the extra effort I was making to learn it. Whatever it was, it made Wanda get even more embarrassed, her green eyes darting around the room in an effort to overcome it.

"What did you say?" I asked Anna with amusement.

"Oh, nothing Wanda hasn't heard before," she said dismissively. "It's all okay. Isn't it, Wanda?"

"Yeah," Wanda mumbled.

"I don't know what's happening here, but I'm all for someone putting Wanda in her place," I said, looking between them both with an entertained smile.

Anna chuckled as Wanda shoved me in the arm gently before pulling me close again. I smiled at how cute she looked, pink blush creeping up her neck and teeth chewing on her lower lip to contain her smile.

I'd never get sick of the sight.

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

[leighsbooksandtea]

Hello friends! I hope your weekend treated you well and if not, I hope your week is amazing! This past weekend I went home to visit some family and hangout with my sister who is prepping for college. We spent the day at ikea and I got a few things I’ve been eyeing for a while.

I haven’t been to ikea for almost three years, if not more. They don’t deliver near me. It’s something about this store that brings me much joy!I showed great restraint though. It was really difficult!

Once I got back to my place, I washed and put up my purchases and took my puppy for a walk. I am having some mommy guilt because I want to be with him all day but I need to work to afford to care for him properly. On Sunday, I mainly rested and watched a few films. I also used my new tray, mug, and fruit dish.

Mum made me banana bread before I left and I almost cried. It was so good and I miss her cooking and baking. I also got some laundry done and meal planning. This week I am welcoming all positivity, I need it as I get ready for finals projects.

Last night I stayed up a little late to finish assignments, but today I will start sooner versus later.

Many plans this week? Did you have a good weekend? What are you looking forward to the most this week?

[sweetswesf]

"I just need benjamins, I don't need NOOOOO friends!"...Check In

I don't really mean that. When I feel lonely, I think about that rap lyric by the masterful poet Roddy Ricch, but, I don't truly feel that way. I do need a community around me, but when I look at the friends I have lost, I toxicly just try to focus on what I have, the friends & family I have, and all God's blessed me with.

What I Did Today

Meal prepped

Exercised

Grocery shopped

FREAKIN' 2 HOURS of dishes! *face palm*

Panicked a little bit after receiving my severance payment, but reminded myself that I'm going to find something I want in a timely manner and not completely run my savings down to 0 like I worry sometime

Wished my grandmother a happy birthday

Told my father not to send me pictures of he, my grandparents, and my little brother at the casino today because it triggered me given the lack of relationship and a lot of hurt that is still there...I'm by myself for yet another year on Thanksgiving for crying out loud...

Was vulnerable about how I felt about the latest text exchanges with my pastor who gave me bad, unsolicited advice on what I SHOULD have done...immediately regretted it opening up and reminded myself to just shut up sometime and stop hoping for people to handle you and your feelings the way you want them to

Had a little cry after receiving a less than pleasant text from my Dad...it was followed by an absolutely encouraging text from a friend

Fantasized about moving out of the country...maybe back to Italy

Pushed myself to cook for myself

Pushed myself to finish an AlgoExpert video on Logarithm

What I Learned Today

I thought about what would happen if I needed to move back; my little brother has PROBABLY graduated, so I would not have a room anywhere if I moved back, and I don't know too many places right now wanting to rent to someone without a job so, I'll stay put...rent MAY go up for me soon...don't know how much...don't want to think about that right now :)

log base 2 is the assumed base in computer science, not 10 as in regular mathematics, and an algo w/O(log(n)) runtime is good because as the input increases, the amount of operations does not increase nearly at the same rate

Feeling

Spent

A little bit shameful/embarrassed

Takeaways

Going to only juice on Saturday or Sunday going forward and for as ½ as much as I usually do to save money & time

My mind wanders a lot, and when it does, and I get anxious, I go to social media for a dopamine boost

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today

Just reminding myself that I have so much, it could be worse, how it's going to get so much better for me, and about how strong I am going to become

Found a chili oil I can add to EVERYTHING

A super soft & cold persimmon

The following songs helped:

Fought tears listening to this one

Then let them fall for this song...this song NEVER fails to make me cry...rediscovered it on Mother's Day, and ever since, it's just been a hard song for me to get through, but it hits me where I need it to

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals After Today

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

[nakachuchu]

5:30 PM | Kita Shinsuke

SYNOPSIS: You encounter a handsome stranger at the grocery store.

READER: chef! gender neutral

WORDS: 1050

WRITTEN: 05/21/2021

NOTES: Thank you for requesting from my time event!

You were a chef, and even though you were constantly cooking for work, you didn't mind cooking for yourself for your own meals.

You liked going to the grocery stores and picking out your own fresh produce. Even though you were a chef and you took a class on nutrition, you also liked going through the snack aisle.

It was 5:30 PM, but you didn't mind since you preferred a later dinner.

You passed by a man who was staring at the various meats on display in the meat section. He was basically pressed against the display case like a child at a candy shop.

"I recommend the ground beef, the third one closest to you," you said.

He glanced at you and straightened up. "Why that one?"

"It's bright red, so you know it hasn't gone bad. It should also be brownish on the inside."

He nodded and called for the worker for the ground beef you advised him to get. Then, you called for a pound of pork.

"Thank you," the man said once you took your pork off the scale.

"No problem," you said with a smile. "I'm Y/N."

"Shinsuke," he said.

The two of you—for some reason—walked near each other in the grocery store with your carts. He didn't purchase as much as you, so he lingered around until you checked out.

Once you were out of the grocery store and pushing your cart to your car, he approached you.

"I'd love to cook for you one day," he said. "As thank you."

You laughed. "For what? For showing you how to tell what ground beef is good or bad?"

He nodded.

"Well, if you're offering."

You read out your number to him and he input it into his phone, promising that he'd give you a call later while helping you out your groceries into the trunk of your car.

You thanked him and he smiled briefly before walking away to his own car. You stared after him for a while until he disappeared from your line of sight.

When you returned home, you found yourself thinking of Shinsuke while cooking dinner for yourself.

The next day, while you had been at work, he called you and left a voicemail, saying how he wished to have dinner with you this weekend.

You eagerly called him back after work and said "yes" to his invitation. The two of you ended up talking for a while before it was time to make your own respective dinners.

The weekday went by slowly but quickly at the same time. When you thought about how slow it was, it went by slowly, but you couldn't help it. You were really looking forward to having dinner with him.

On Friday, he texted you his address. Just in case, you told your best friend the address in case he turned out to be a serial killer.

You spent all night preparing a nice outfit, even though you didn't quite know his tastes. But it proved to lessen your nerves a bit because you had prepared well.

"Hi," you said as he opened the door for you.

He smiled briefly. "Hello. Come in."

He stepped to the side and you walked into his house. It was a traditional house, a bit far from the city, but you liked it. It was quiet and smelled like fresh wood.

"You can relax. I have a few more steps for dinner," he said.

"I'll help," you offered. "I won't get in your way. Promise. But since it's technically our dinner, I should help."

He pursed his lips and the two of you had a staring contest. It was a good thing you often dealt with stubborn and dumb customers because you didn't back down at all.

"All right," he said.

You smiled and followed him into the kitchen. You helped him prep the vegetables and he stood in awe at how quickly and precisely you cut the vegetables.

"I'm a chef," you said. "I realized I never exactly told you what I did. What about you?"

"I'm a farmer," he answered. "I have a lot out further that I tend to each morning."

"That must be hard work, but thank you."

"Hmm?"

"Well, you're a farmer, right? So you cultivate lots of plants—plants that I probably use—so thank you," you said softly.

Shinsuke had never been thanked for the plants and rice he cultivated—not by a stranger who used them.

He had heard thanks from the old ladies he gifted them to on Sundays or when the delivery guys arrived to pick up his order each month.

"You're welcome," he said.

"Of course."

The two of you finished dinner side by side. You set the kitchen table while he did the finishing touches on the dishes before setting them on the table.

"Itadakimasu," the two of you said before digging in.

"This is really good," you complimented. "I like how you made the sauce."

He liked the compliments you gave him throughout dinner. It made him feel warm and appreciated. His past volleyball teammates had relied on him, voicing their appreciation for him occasionally, but he hadn't heard from them in a while now.

The two of you talked about your daily lives and what you majored in college and what you were like in high school.

You were a bit sad when the dinner was over, but then he invited you to stay longer and watch a film with him.

"Why do you call movies films?" you asked as you followed him into his living room.

"My grandmother," he said as he took out DVDs from the shelf. "She raised me and was traditional."

You nodded. "My father's like that. What's your favorite genre?"

"I don't watch many films, but action or sports."

"Oh, let's do this action one," you suggested.

Your fingers brushed against his hand as you pulled out a DVD from his hand. You found it cute and funny he still had DVDs and a DVD player in this day and age.

He turned off the lights and the two of you settled into the couch. The side of your thigh was pressed against his and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of the evening.