#Reading Round-Up

[shsenhaji]

📚 May Reading Round-Up 📚

I finally can say that I've read LOTR! Or, at least, the first book (I've also read The Hobbit). May was a good reading month, in which I was once again able to get to some of my long-waiting TBR, and where I also decided to re-read The Greenwing and Dart series by Victoria Goddard (which is delightful as always).

- The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien (the audiobook by Andy Serkis was amazing; liked the first half better than the second, made more sense than the movies but was less emotional, didn’t love the narration style or some of the themes, loved our best boys and more of Bilbo... Boromir 😭)

- Paladin's Faith by T. Kingfisher (Good, funny, loved the romance, great ending, didn’t feel like there was a final character resolution but there was growth, definitely setting up later books)

- Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly (Good, somewhat unrealistic, loved the messages and themes, binged it in a few sittings)

- Calamity by Constance Fay (Very funny, intriguing worldbuilding, cute romance, didn’t love the take on this trope but didn’t hate it)

- Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas (Read it in one sitting, beautiful, bittersweet, cute, a fun read, really loved this take on Neverland and Peter Pan)

- Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett (Fun, really enjoyed the middle, liked the characters, compelling, didn’t love the ending or how the romance was resolved, great worldbuilding)

- Stargazy Pie by Victoria Goddard (Re-read, a fun emotional ride, noticed even more hints and details, loved it)

- Bee Sting Cake by Victoria Goddard (Re-read, the emotions didn’t quite hit me as much this time, loved it, heartwarming and validating)

- Whiskeyjack by Victoria Goddard (Re-read, ending got me all emotional, such fun)

- Blackcurrant Fool by Victoria Goddard (Re-read, not too intense, emotional ending, really enjoyed the plot and the characters)

- Love-in-a-Mist by Victoria Goddard (Re-read, delightful, fun, heartwarming, didn’t like Master Boring as much)

- Far From the Light of Heaven by Tade Thompson (Compelling, great worldbuilding and interesting characters, felt a bit let down by the resolution/ending)

- Batman: Wayne Family Adventures Vol. 3 by C.R.C. Payne and Starbite (Got very emotional, a fun read)

[arosnowflake]

Reading Round-Up June 2023

Books Read

An Unauthorized Fan Treatise by Lauren James

Described as "a serialized murder mystery novel set in a fictional fandom, formatted like a shipper's conspiracy theory", which is very accurate. It can be read in full (for free) here. I have mixed feelings on this novel. On the one hand, it's really clever in a lot of ways, I love Gottie and Rob and their parallels, and it absolutely nails the fandom atmosphere. The first half of the book feels just like reading unhinged fandom discourse, which, if you're a nosy bitch like me, is fantastic. The second half, however, plays the (murder) mystery a lot straighter, and that's where it kind of lost me. I don't feel like the mystery is quite strong enough to work without the gimmick. I do think the novel uses its chosen framing device really well, but the ultimate mystery was such a let down for me it left a nasty aftertaste. I would still recommend this novel, though, because at the end of the day, it's a unique piece of writing with a lot of thought and effort put in. And besides, I am difficult to please when it comes to mystery novels, so others might enjoy this more than me. (PS for the best experience, make sure you know the story of the MsScribe drama.)

The Call of Cthulhu, The Curse of Yig, The Man of Stone, The Horror in the Museum, The Thing on the Doorstep, The Tree on the Hill, and The Shadow out of Time by HP Lovecraft

This month I finished Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos stories. I still hate this guy's writing and am relieved that I'm finally able to leave it behind. From this month, the ones worth reading if you're interested in Lovecraft's worldbuilding are The Thing on the Doorstep, The Shadow Out of Time, and The Call of Cthulhu. This man's writing is never not racist but I'm specifically warning for racism in The Call of Cthulhu, in particular in regards to mistreatment of voodoo, racism against Inuit people and repeated usage of the esk*mo slur, and repeated usage of the word 'mongrel' to refer to a diverse group of people of colour.

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee (Did Not Finish)

I bought this book about three years ago for my birthday but never got around to reading it. Finally decided to pick it up because I was in the mood for something lighter, and unfortunately I did not enjoy it. I read up until about halfway through the book before deciding I did not care. The premise of this book is absolutely killer (giant mechanical dragon powered by magic paint does revolution against an imperialist nation), but unfortunately the writing/execution is just not every good. The worldbuilding's pretty interesting, as is the actual dragon, but the author does not seem to have a good grasp on how to distribute information, leading to either over- or under-explaining, which ended up being the death knell of this book for me. It's incredibly difficult to care about the plot when you barely explain the rules of the magic system your plot hinges on. This, combined with a small slew of other minor problems (the prose is mediocre, the pacing a little-less-than-mediocre, and I find a few of the narrative decisions this book makes to be annoying/baffling) made me frustrated while reading more often than not, and unlike what my Lovecraft adventures would have you believe, I am not a completionist and I do not make a habit of reading through books I don't like.

The Murderbot Diaries: All System Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol and Exit Strategy by Martha Wells

Currently listening through Network Effect. Picked this series up in a bundle of audiobooks sold for charity basically on a whim because it was an insanely good deal (less than 20 euros for the whole series + a lot of other books). I'd vaguely heard of the series but went in pretty much blind. Delighted to announce that it's great and I'm enjoying it immensely. Murderbot is a fantastic protagonist/narrator, and tbh it's hard carrying the series, because while the rest the narrative (worldbuilding, other characters, prose, etc) isn't bad, I feel like thusfar the only other stand-out elements are ART's character and maybe the portrayal of the Company. But Murderbot is just such a compelling character it's impossible not to be charmed by these books. They're funny as hell too. Favourite book so far is Artificial Condition.

Shows Watched

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury

Finished season one, on episode two of season two. Having an absolute blast watching this show; I really enjoy most of the characters and I'm interested to see where all that political intrigue goes. However, I do think that the school setting works against the show (it feels unnecessary most of the time and is boring compared to alternative options imo) and I feel like the transition between season one and two was pretty poor. It also has intermittent pacing issues. In addition, this is my first ever Gundam show and though I'd heard this was accessible to newcomers, and that's probably true bc I'm following along fine, I really do feel like I'm working with half the information most of the time. How exactly Gundams work is very underexplained in the show. I assume this is background knowledge long-term viewers are expected to have, but maybe it's a flaw in the worldbuilding, I can't say. At the end of the day though, most of the issues I have with this show are nitpicks and don't affect my enjoyment.



Games Played

The Great Artists

A game with minimal gameplay elements, in which you follow a group of phantom thieves and a detective right before and after a painting gets stolen. You can jump back and forth through time, allowing you to follow different people who are doing things simultaneously, which is the only interactive element. It's cute and interesting, plus I love the art, but I found the lack of interactive elements a little boring. You can get it here on itch.io.

[spoffyumi]

reading round-up, January-March 2023

I still haven’t gotten back up to speed on my blog, so I’ll attempt a quarterly round-up this year! Here are the standouts from the 49 books I read during the first quarter of 2023. January My January reading started off a little slow, as I had several giant books to read. Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo and Geek Love by Katherine Dunn were two that took some time to get through – not that they…

[willowser]

31 year old soggy loser touya that can't drive or stay out after curfew and that was released from prison 7 months ago and has to keep his job at ace hardware and has to go to his meetings and is figuring out how to both apologize and forgive and is so far behind socially among his peers because of all he had to endure during his child/teenagehood my beloved

[mothwingwritings]

Can we have Ren/Fox (TPOF) and Mc with a child?Long after Fox decided to stay with MC, they both had a daughter (probably not something with consent and a bit of Stockholm syndrome).The daughter asks her mother how she got the scars and this makes MC have memories of post-traumatic stress.

I was so tickled by this ask that I started manically typing out a response for it nearly as soon as I saw it in my ask box (which at this point, was quite some time ago. Forgive me, I am a mess lul). I wrote the whole damn thing in a fit of passion, excited to release it into the world… But ultimately hated it and thought it was garbo, so I scrapped it and tried again. Wrote a second iteration and thought ‘hell yeah, this is it!!! Sick!’, but then I read it AND HATED THAT ONE TOO AAAHHH!!!

I rewrote this… so much…

But I never give up on my dreams, and you shouldn’t either! Persevere! Don’t give up on yourself! Here’s your daily motivation for the day! Keep writing even it makes you cry!!! :D

Anyway, so I wrote this third one, comprised of new stuff and the stuff I actually did like from the first two stabs, and it ended up being the one. Truly it is a Frankenstein of a fic lol. Regardless of all the reworking, I had a lot of fun writing this and enjoyed the prompt very much!!! I I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. :)

I’m sorry if the writing seems a tad too mature for the reader’s daughter in this, writing children isn’t my forte. ^^;

Due to the nature of this fic, IT IS 18+ ONLY!!! Thank you!

WARNINGS: Incessant mentions of abuse of all kinds for reader and mentions of physical abuse for her child!!! Reader is heavily scarred from said abuse and that’s a main theme in this fic so please avoid if that is upsetting to you. Also, though not the main focus, there are multiple mentions of child abuse in this fic, as well a part where reader goes off verbally on her child, so please be mindful of that as well! Other things of note: reader is a parent in this (which you can probably tell by the prev warning lol), reader getting hurt, blood, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, being held against your will/isolation, mentions of noncon, sad family stuff :(

Diminishing rays of afternoon light splayed through the open window of your quaint living room, casting a comforting orange glow over everything they touched. The light gave the environment an ethereal and nostalgic feel, wrapping you in peaceful warmth as the sun sunk lower and lower. The loveseat you occupied was plush and inviting, and a mug of your favorite tea stood at the ready on the small coffee table beside you, steadily cooling with help from the last hurrah of winter blowing in gently from the outside. Besides the slight chill, the wind brought with it the heavy scent of freshly bloomed flowers, a delightful precursor to the oncoming spring.

Relishing the rare moment of serenity, you couldn’t help but wish that all your days could be this lovely.

You smiled down at your daughter who sat perched in your lap, happily flipping through the newest gift she had acquired from her Father- a thick picture book full of bright illustrations highlighting various exotic animals. As it lay sprawled across her tiny lap, her chubby finger pointed out each animal she took an interest in, her high pitched voice chirping away as she explained what she liked about the creatures. She got particularly excited when she spotted the page full of foxes, jabbing at the red one feverishly as she exclaimed “its daddy!”

Spotting the foxes began her down a path of assigning an animal to not just herself, but you as well. She didn’t find it fair that only her father had kin in the animal world, even though you pointed out that she technically did as well by sharing half the man’s blood. Your revelation did little to deter her, she wanted something new, something just for herself, and she wasn’t going to stop until she found her perfect soul animal. So she continued on, scanning each page in earnest until she found a creature that suited her.

She ended up picking a bunny for herself, supplying you with a comprehensive reason as to why she chose it. As she explained in great length, skimping no details, you couldn’t help but hold back laughter. She spoke as if she were a professor teaching a class, and you did your best to keep a straight face as she yammered on with her shoddy reasoning, deep down knowing she only picked a rabbit because of how cute they are.

After she was done waxing poetic about bunnies, she continued scouring the book, coming to a halt once she reached the wild cat section. She stopped with a gasp, beaming up at you as she pressed her finger firmly against one of the images on the page.

“Mommy this one is you!”

Your eyes traveled to the picture she was rapidly tapping, “An African Wildcat, huh?” You smirked down at the little girl in amusement, “Why did you pick that one for me?”

“Because it looks just like you!”

You chuckled at her enthusiasm, “It looks like me? How so?”

“It has marks just like you do!”

Her innocuous words sent a chill up your spine. Eying the stripes that crossed the cat’s legs, you felt a great unease begin to overtake your body. Her reasoning was not lost on you, the cats coat did quite resemble the jagged scars that covered nearly every inch of your body, and just like the feline in her book, your limbs were the most prominent location of said ‘markings’. You quickly shook your head, not wanting to dwell on it further. In hopes of moving on from the subject, the outpouring of words that flew from your mouth were jumbled and messy.

“O-oh, I see,” you stuttered, clearing your throat to steady your voice, “well you certainly picked a cute animal for me! Thank you baby, it was a good choice.”

She smiled at you innocently, a gesture that usually made your heart melt with affection. But as her tiny hands moved from the book to your arms, that smile did nothing but fill you with dread, the realization that you wouldn’t be getting out of this sticky situation hitting you like a brick to the face. 

“Yeah mommy, the kitty’s marks are just like these ones,” her stubby fingers gently traced the old wounds, a look of reverence reflected on her cherubic features. “They make you look like that kitty mommy,” her little voice cooed, “I like them a lot!”

Your muscles constricted at her words, a slight tremor coursing through you as you involuntarily tightened your grip on her. She took note of this, looking up at your strained features with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Don’t be sad mommy,” she spoke assuredly, “I really do like them! I think they are pretty!”

Her words burned you, scorching the inside of your frozen shell of a body, leaving you feeling sickly and discombobulated. The room around you started to spin in a hazy blur, a wave of nausea making you nearly wretch. Your breathing grew erratic as you tried to calm yourself, inwardly repeating that your daughter was just a child, a little girl barely four years of age who had an incredibly limited view of the world. Her words were not meant to upset you. Her opinions were coming from a place of total naivety.

Yet still, the mental assurance did little to help with the extremely uncomfortable position you now founds yourself in. It wasn’t as if this was her first time noticing your scars. She had mentioned them before, her curious mind trying to piece together the reason that her arms appeared different from your own. Each time she brought your old wounds up you couldn’t help but feel flustered, responding with weak explanations and misdirection to try and quickly brush off her questioning.

The marks came from a silly mistake, or a childhood accident, or from a careless moment when mommy should have been paying more attention. It was always excuses on repeat. How many lies had you told her on this topic alone?

But even if they were lies, it beat telling her the truth. You didn’t want to have to explain where the scars on your body actually came from to anyone, let alone a child, and especially not to your own daughter. How could you possibly word it gently, or in a way that she would understand, when you barely understood why you had them yourself? How could you look her in the eye and tell her that these markings were a permanent sign that you had been very, very hurt and that it was her own fathers hands that inflicted the pain?

Reliving the horrific moments that left your body in such a state was overwhelming enough on its own, but to also have to lay bare her father’s sins, relay to her the unsavory proclivities of a man who she idolized and adored, was not something you were keen on doing.

She didn’t know her daddy like you knew him. She was ignorant to the constant state of concern you lived in, unaware of the worries that plagued your mind and kept you up each night. All the troubles of the hell she had been born into were completely lost on the small, carefree girl.

But honestly that was for the best. You had made an unspoken promise the moment she entered your life that you would protect her no matter what. From the day of her birth onward it became your mission to keep her as happy and healthy as possible.

Ren had broken you, but she did not have to suffer the same fate.

At this point in her life, your daughter knew nothing of her daddy’s profession or ‘hobbies’, and you wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible, if not for the rest of her life. You dreaded each time Ren came home from an auction, terrified he may let casually slip too many details about his ‘lively client’ or that he would carelessly step through the door with the stains of his liaisons still littering his clothes. Your daughter was at an age where she was brimming with questions, and she was relentless in getting answers to each question she asked. Everything had to be explained in complete detail for her to be satisfied, drop the subject, and move on. She was a smart little thing, possibly too smart for her own good. You highly doubted a silly joke or wave of the hand would assuage her whirring mind should Ren grow too impetuous in her presence.

And should her questioning become too pesky, you fretted over what Ren’s reaction to it may be. The more you tried to avoid thinking about it the more you seemed to fixate on the topic, pondering just how much goading it would take from your daughter before his temper would rear its ugly head.  You, above anyone, had firsthand experience in just how volatile the man could be, the scars that littered your body a testament to his turbulent emotions and violent outbursts.

Looking back on it now, it’s a wonder you survived any of it at all.

Ren often told you he loved you, each confession spoken through honeyed words that spilled from his lips easily and often.  And while you didn’t doubt those words (you knew better than to, at this point), you also knew his sweet nothings weren’t merely a term of endearment, they also served as your curse. He loved you, but he also loved your fealty to him, your adoration and worship of him and only him. Should you not reciprocate his feelings as quickly or ardently as he expected, the mere thought of whatever punishment he would concoct was enough to send you into a debilitating panic attack.

There were few things he loathed more than when you flinched from his affection or if you exhibited any sign of distress towards his presence, especially after he had spent so many years going above and beyond to provide for you, devote himself to you. You had learned early on to keel any feelings of aversion you had to his advances, several of your more prominent scars a brutal reminder of that misstep alone.

 If your daughter uncovered the truth and saw her father for who he truly was, if she began to fear him the way you feared him, how would he respond?  If not only his partner, but his own daughter started shying away from him, what length would he go to to correct this behavior?

Dwelling on it made your skin crawl.

But perhaps all of your worries were asinine. Despite his inclination for cruelty, Ren had never so much as raised a hand towards your daughter, even when she did act up. If anything, he was overprotective of her, barely letting her move faster than a brisk jog lest she fall and hurt herself. He hated seeing his little girl experience even a modicum of physical pain, mentioning to you previously that were he able, he’d keep her locked up in a padded room all day and night to prevent any foreseeable accidents or injuries. Surely it was just his idea of a joke, but the insinuation still made you cringe.

It was almost comical, just how greatly the manifestation of his affection for her differed from how he showed his love for you.

His domineering nature shielded her from experiencing any true pain. Every scrape, bruise, and cut she ever received was superficial, nothing that caused major bleeding or left a lasting impression. She had no way of knowing what had been done to you to cause the scars that marred your form, the torment and hell you experienced with each slash, smack, burn. Hell, she probably didn’t even really understand what a scar actually was. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy had strange marks on their skin that didn’t follow any kind of set pattern, weird jagged lines and indents that her soft skin was curiously free from. The mystery of it all was as puzzling to her young mind as it was enticing.

However, some mysteries were best left unsolved, and just as with each other time she brought up this hot topic, you found yourself unable to look into her clear, bright eyes and tell her any semblance of the truth. She may have been forced upon you, but she was your daughter. You loved her, and you refused to be the one to shatter her innocence. You would keep her ignorant for as long as possible, shielding her to the endless nightmare of your daily lives, even if it cost you your sanity.

“Mommy,” her voice jarred you, dragging you from your thoughts, “mommy did you hear me? I said I think they are pretty!”

“T-that’s… I…” You stuttered, struggling to find the right words to say, your voice coming out much smaller than you intended it to. The room felt like it had dropped thirty degrees, your body twitching in response to the sudden chill.

“Daddy told me he gave some of them to you, like this one,” her pudgy, cold finger pressed into the faded heart that resided on your chest, the first of many indelible sins he had etched onto your form. Only the top half of the carved symbol was viewable above the collar of your shirt, so she tugged at the loose hem until she could see it in its horrible entirety.

“Daddy said he gave you this one because he loves you so much,” her voice grew quiet, a thoughtful look in her eye as they drank in wounds you wished you could forget, “Daddy loves me too, right mommy? You think he’ll give me a cute heart someday too?”

You felt as if you had been hit by a train.

“S-top,” the words were forced from your throat, airy and breathless, as if someone was wringing your neck to make them come out, “p-please, just stop talking.”

“What did you say mama,” your daughters sing-song voice responded as her fingers continued to trace and prod your scars, “You are whispering, is it a secret?”

“I told you to SHUT UP!”

As if following your command, your booming voice instantly silenced the small girl. Unused to such a violent outburst from her mother, her happy-go-lucky nature quickly shifted to one of alert, her tiny body going rigid as she stared up at you with fearful eyes.

Seeing her in such a state and knowing that you were the cause of it would normally have killed you inside, making you fall to your knees to beg for the child’s forgiveness. But right now, the thin thread that had been holding you together had snapped, and your words rushed out in a torrent you couldn’t begin to quell.

“Shut up, shut up, shut UP!” You seethed, clasping your hands to your ears to try and block out your own intrusive voice, “Just STOP TALKING about it! What are you even saying? Why would you ever want to look like this?!”

Tears started to flood your eyes, blurring the image of the girl who had quickly jumped from your lap and was now cowering before you. Through your bleary vision, you could see tears were brimming her eyes as well.

“You… You have no idea,” your voice warbled, shaking in equal parts grief and frustration, “You have no clue what you are saying, so just STOP IT. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!”

You slunk from the chair down to the floor, burying your face in your cold, stiff hands. The soft blubbering of your daughter could be heard through your own sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry mommy. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Hearing her broken voice began to shatter the spell you had been under, instant regret jerking you roughly back to reality. Your head sunk lower, your body scrunching itself up as tightly as possible to hide from this cruel reality.

Your screams were born from deeply buried feelings of hatred, tucked far, far away as a means of self-preservation. For a moment, you felt as if you despised your daughter, her existence tethering you to this wretched excuse of a life, binding you irrevocably to Ren. But as you lifted your heavy head, glancing up to stare into her young face, a face so very similar to your own, a face contorted in panic and sadness over her mother’s abrupt descent into madness… you realized it wasn’t her that you hated.

It was yourself.

Your daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved normalcy. She deserved a father that didn’t pose a threat to her. She deserved a mother that wasn’t ruined by his hands. She deserved a happy and untroubled life, not to be stuck being raised in a barbed cage, navigating her way through life with nothing but the shattered remains of a battered woman to guide her.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked under the weight of your overwhelming emotions, snot and tears running freely down your ruddy cheeks and chin, “I’m so, so sorry baby…”

“What the hell is going on?”

You hadn’t heard the front door open, nor had you heard Ren’s jubilant greeting as he entered your home. He had no doubt been upset by the lack of welcome-it was one thing to be ignored by a child, but his doting wife? That was not something he was not apt to look past.

But surely any feelings of annoyance or frustration fled from his mind the moment he entered the room, his eyes falling upon your crumpled, messy form collapsed on the floor. You cursed his arrival, upset that he entered the scene at such a compromising time, right as you were struggling to regain an ounce of composure and properly apologize to the little girl who had done nothing wrong.

“D-daddy,” your daughter’s voice warbled as she barreled towards him, colliding into his waiting embrace. You wiped at your face in a desperate attempt to hide your previous outpouring of emotions, doing your best to avoid eye contact with Ren as his sharp gaze quickly flicked from you, to his daughter.

This had already become enough of a scene without Ren’s interference, it was best to try and begin damage control now. 

“Daddy I-I made mommy cry!” Tears continued to pour from your daughter’s eyes, her face twisting into a look of pure dismay. Her misguided admission of guilt made you recoil, knowing full well it would grant her no favors with the person she seeking comfort from. “I’m really sorry daddy! I didn’t mean to!”

After several endless seconds of silence, Ren spoke.

“… You made her cry?”

His voice was far sharper than it needed to be, further agitating the precarious state of affairs. In most cases he would have offered your daughter leniency, letting her get away with far more than she probably should. However that leniency was null and void if you ended up suffering in the process.  Ren could not forgive anyone that caused you any duress (himself, of course, being the exemption) even if that person was his own flesh and blood.

“What do you mean you made her cry? What the hell did you do to her?”

“I-I don’t know,” she wailed, a fresh wave of tears spurred on by the accusatory tone of her father’s voice, “I just told mommy I thought her marks were pretty and then she started crying! I wasn’t lying daddy, I like them! I think they make mommy look really pretty!”

“Her marks…?” Ren’s look of vexation began to dissipate as the meaning of her words donned on him. He lifted his arm, rolling up his sleeve to reveal his own scars to the little girl. Pointing a clawed finger to them, he leaned down until he was looking her in the eye, “You mean like these?”

As she nodded her head vigorously in confirmation, Ren tutted, “That’s the reason for all the water works? An innocent compliment started all this fussing?” He scoffed, shaking his head, “Isn’t that a little bit… silly?

You tensed at the sound of his barking laugh, your frown deepening as an amused grin spread wider across his lips. You wished that you could say it was shocking for him to have such disregard after finding the two of you in such an agitated state, but it was painfully in character of him to shrug off your misery and suffering as inconsequential.  How he could so nonchalantly normalize this hellish situation he kept you and your child ensnared in, you would never understand.

Your daughter was apparently sharing similar thoughts, as her face began to once more morph into a pre-sobbing scowl. She was no doubt wounded that her father was not offering her the comfort she was seeking, her emotional state already greatly weakened by her mother’s venomous tantrum.

To help quell another round of tears, Ren pulled the child closer, wrapping her up in his arms so that her tiny form was nearly enveloped by him.  “Shhh, no more tears angel,” he cooed sweetly, patting her head gently to appease her, “There isn’t any reason to cry, especially because… Well, you’re right! Mommy’s whole body is pretty, isn’t it? Her marks just compliment the beauty that’s already there.”

Slowly but surely, her tears began to dissipate. Hunched over shoulders loosened, and sniffles and hiccups gave way to even breathing. Like clockwork, her father’s gentle handling soothed her, the same touch that destroyed you offering her salvation.

As if under a spell, the turmoil that had overcome your daughter quickly began to vanish, her sobbing fading into quiet sniffles. Once she was fully calmed, Ren continued speaking, “That’s all you meant to say to mommy, right angel? I’m sorry she took it the wrong way, she’s probably just tired or hungry, you know how mommy gets. She’ll get over it in no time flat!”

Heat spread through your body at his flippant dismissal of your feelings, an indignant blush lighting your cheeks as you gripped your hands tightly at your side. Your previous emotional episode left you all but drained, but your will to fight back against his callous commentary could never truly be contained.

“In fact, I bet she is already over it now,” Ren’s voice took on a jovial tone as he directed his focus solely on you, “Aren’t you, pumpkin?”

With the ball suddenly in your court, you flinched as both sets of expectant eyes fell on you. Your own eyes darted from Ren’s piercing glare, down to your daughter’s wide-eyed look of unbridled hope. You felt much like the rabbit that had been caught by the fox, stuck in a lose-lose situation. Seeing him hunched over her small body as she clutched to him as a life line, openly concerned that her mother may once more reject her while her father remained a bastion of strength and understanding, left you reeling. Either you would get heated again and stay the villain, but possibly hold on to an ounce of your dignity, or concede to Ren and have yet another piece of your soul wither away and die-the price to pay so that your daughter could remain in blissful ignorance for another day.

“Aren’t you, pumpkin?” He repeated himself slowly, enunciating each word. The kindness in his voice serving only as a mask for the threat buried beneath.

“Y-yes,” you responded quickly, shooting them both a smile you hoped was convincing, “I am very sorry, baby. Daddy is right. Mommy is just… tired.”

A serene smile lit her face, your words placating her. Seeing her happy once more helped relieve a bit of the ache in your own heart, making the lie worth it.

“Good, good,” Ren affirmed with a nod, carefully detaching himself from your daughter as he stood, “but you know little one, mommy deserves some love too, don’t you think? She may have been in the wrong, but it’s not nice to make her cry like that. Why don’t you go give her a hug, hm?”

With no further persuading necessary, she quickly padded over to you, hopping on your lap with so much enthusiasm that it nearly knocked the wind from you. Her arms tightly latched around your torso as she smushed her face into your chest, rubbing it back and forth like she was trying to burrow beneath your skin.

“I love you mommy,” her voice spoke clearly, any hint of previous sadness long gone. You sighed, relieved that this dramatic chapter was over as you pulled your daughter closer to you.

“I love you too.”

During this show of affection, Ren had made his way behind you, slinking so deftly you hadn’t even known he had moved until you heard him chuckle softly behind you.

“This is what I like to see,” he spoke with a sickeningly dreamy sigh, “nothing makes me happier than when my two girls are happy.”

He placed his hands gingerly atop your shoulders, trailing them down until they rested on your arms. His thumbs pressed gently against the marred skin, rubbing in a small circular motion in an attempt to subdue you. His claws grazed your flesh, uncomfortably scratching against you as they snagged against your skin.

He planted a firm and lingering kiss to the side of your head, pulling away just enough that his lips grazed the shell of your ear. “There really was nothing to cry about,” he whispered breathily, his words quiet enough that despite your daughters’ proximity, she would have no chance of hearing them. “It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you are, scars and all. But you must know that, right my sweet pet? I tell you all the time.”

Ren took in a deep breath, releasing it in a shaky sigh, “Seeing these scars reminds me of all we have been through, all that we share. They are a symbol of our bond.”

One of his claws pressed down sharply, a small bead of blood pooling around the piercing. Leisurely he began to drag his finger up your arm, a thin red line following in its wake. You shivered at the burning sensation, but deigned to give him any reaction further than that.

“Don’t forget pumpkin, these pretty marks are a reminder of my constant love for you.” He chuckled softly, peppering a few kisses to the back of your neck while his claws slowly sunk deeper, “And right now I am feeling  terribly sentimental, so for old times’ sake, why don’t I add a few more to remind you just how precious to me you are~?”

[poetrysmackdown]

Visit "To The Young Who Want To Die" if you'd like to hear it read by the author!

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

The Umbrella Academy

The Longest Roads Lead to Home by assaily (twistedskys)

Five raised his glass to the rafters. “I’m home,” he said simply. “I’d like to take the time to enjoy that, y’know.”

Diego watched him pour another drink, suddenly understanding him. He’d been gone a long time, lost in a really terrible place that probably never felt like home unless he could somehow forget he was the last soul on Earth. ‘Home’ meant a lot to him.

When Five’s glass was ready again, Diego raised his own, still half-full. “To being home,” he said.

That earned him a smile, a real one that managed to soothe the crease in Five’s brow and make him look so incredibly young in its sincerity, and so incredibly old in its deep gratitude. He raised his glass and clinked it against Diego’s. “To finally being home.”

Or: Five gets kidnapped and it goes wrong (for the kidnapper).

SVSSS

two golden lilies float in silence in cool pond waters by texturralize

After watching one's own life bleed away into something entirely unrecognizable- a denigration, an affront, a massacre of everything one believed in- and yet, something happy, something contented, something so easily attained, a soul grows wearied. Cracked, wearied, hurt. A broken man could only live a broken life, something Shen Jiu had seen proven to him. His martial siblings preferred the other "him" - the kind one, the palatable one. The one that was not Shen Jiu.

In death, he can only wrestle with the intersection of his own wrongs and the sins committed towards him that left him such a spiteful and angered person in life. Can being reborn, into the days when he had only just attained his status as Peak Lord, give him another chance to live a life that is happy, contented, easily attained? Can he do what the other Shen Qingqiu had managed to do? Can he make the miserable wretch he considers himself to be into a better person?

Shen Jiu does not think so. He will make a mockery of the spark of something deep inside him that hopes so to try. Perhaps...at least...this time, he can watch over his disciples and live quietly with the music in Qing Jing Peak.

The Favourite by x_los

Demonic Emperor Luo Binghe's reputation precedes him. It's just not very accurate.

The Owl House

unexpected turns by kathkin

If I go back there, he’ll kill me. it had been nagging at him all day, the certainty in the kid’s voice. But if it wasn’t the Day of Unity, then what? What could he have seen in the emperor’s mind that was worse?

What could Belos possibly have been hiding that had the power to so utterly break the loyalty of his perfect little lapdog.

Clone Wars

The inability to accept No by BitterChocolateStars

One man's inability to accept No as an answer saves the galaxy.

Or: Obi-wan turns down Palpatine's date invite. Sheev gets obsessed and salty about it.

The Goblin Emperor

Snowdrops and Bridges by Orockthro

"Serenity,” Csevet says, and his voice is flat and stoney. Maia’s hands feel clammy in his lap. “There’s been an accident at the Istandaärtha Bridge.”

Or: One accident, one flower, one kiss. Not in that order."

[marley-manson]

the topic is Trapper and the army as foils, you have three hours, go

In no small part the satire of Mash, particularly in the first half of the show, is tied up with gender performance.

The army represents traditional, stifling and violent masculinity. This is shown through everything from freudian jokes about guns (eg Frank and Margaret's flirtations in The Sniper or The Gun), to Margaret trying to cajole Hawkeye into performing a more traditional standard of masculinity while treating him like a soldier in Comrades in Arms Part 2, to many jokes and comments about (usually) Hawkeye not being a real man in contrast to army standards and various specific army personnel (eg Lyle in Springtime, Flagg in White Gold), to Frank and Margaret's worship of the masculinity of the army ("He's twice the man you'll ever be," re: Flagg and Hawkeye, Margaret's lust for MacArthur, Frank pursuing the sniper in The Sniper in an attempt to be a "real man" in Margaret's eyes, etc) to many jokes positioning the military as a sexually aggressive man pursuing Hawkeye ("Sure, the sun the moon the stars, your high school letterman jacket. Same deal I promised nurse Baker." "A receipt please, and promise you'll go out with other doctors," etc.)

In contrast, the main characters all fail to perform traditional gender in some way, from crossdressing to immaturity to indecisiveness to peacefulness to Margaret's masculinity and Frank's pathetic failure to live up to his own masculine ideals, to just about everything about Hawkeye. His cowardliness, his jokes about not being a real man, his jokes about taking the feminine role in sexual encounters with men and women, even multiple double entendres about his average at best penis size.

Trapper is the most traditionally masculine of the main cast. He still subverts masculinity in some subtle ways here and there, such as the occasional feminizing joke and mentions of not being in great shape, but overall he's the more butch counterpart to Hawkeye's fem. He plays the role of boxer while Hawkeye plays the role of diva in their respective manager/star roleplaying episodes. He's broader and buffer and plays football, often seen playing catch with someone while walking around the compound, while Hawkeye disdains sports and doesn't participate. He reads Field and Stream which Hawkeye derides in Alcoholics Unanimous while making a wry comment about shaving his armpits. A past lover nicknamed him Big John.

And there are many, many jokes about Hawkeye and Trapper being sexual partners. The recurring Uncle Trapper and Aunt Hawkeye gag, if my father sees this you'll have to marry me, for me? only if you put those on, your father and I will tell you what we did to have you, that's when I fell in love with him, etc etc etc. It's constant. In these jokes Hawkeye usually takes the feminine role, though not strictly every time ("Me and the missus," is one exception in As You Were, the dance in Yankee Doodle Doctor is another).

Trapper's masculinity is differentiated from traditional military masculinity in a few ways. Most obviously, Trapper abhors the military's violence. He never uses guns and mocks Frank's obsession with them, he's a healer rather than a soldier, and he's disgusted by the results of military violence on the men on his operating table.

He's also secure in himself. The military's brand of masculinity is strongly characterized by insecurity and overcompensation. Frank is the main representative of this military insecurity - a coward who insists he's brave (The Army Navy Game), a man who clings to a phallic gun to compensate for his sexual and gendered inadequacies (a main theme of The Sniper, perfectly mirrored when the army itself comes in with a vastly disproprotionately powerful automatic machine gun on a helicopter to shoot down one sixteen year old), a homophobe repressing his own attraction to men (As You Were, the original script of George), etc. We also see this in Flagg, who implicitly sublimates sexual urges into violence (seen when he suggestively caresses his gun while describing how he wants to torture a boy in Officer of the Day).

Trapper doesn't need to overcompensate. He's well-endowed physically, he's portrayed as a competent and considerate lover, he's a brave man who doesn't mind being seen as a coward, and he may or may not be attracted to men but either way he's not a homophobe (George) and he doesn't express his sexuality through violence. When Margaret proves herself stronger than him, his response is to be impressed rather than offended (Bombed). When he dances with Hawkeye for a gag, he doesn't mind letting Hawkeye lead.

He's also differentiated in terms of tradition, with the mliitary representing a more propagandic 50s traditionalism, and Trapper representing a 70s, countercultural freedom from tradition. We see this in the way Trapper has plenty of sex despite being married, while adultery is a court-martial offense in the military. It's notable that he's open and carefree about it, while Frank and Margaret are surreptitious and hypocritical in their affair. This lack of traditionalism is also shown in his disrespect for authority, often in direct contrast to Frank and Margaret's worship of it, and his allyship to George who the military would persecute for his sexuality.

So ultimately we can see that while Trapper and the military are both examples of masculine performance, Trapper's masculinity differs from the military's in being more flexible, less violent, less traditional, and more secure. The military's masculinity is far more toxic than Trapper's, particularly in the context of 70s counterculture media, which aligns womanizing with sexual liberation rather than a lack of respect for women, accurately or not.

This contributes to their respective dynamics with Hawkeye.

Hawkeye, we've established, is usually more feminine, and there are a myriad of jokes characterizing Trapper as his sexual partner, as well as the military as a sexual pursuer.

The jokes Hawkeye and Trapper make about their relationship tend towards cozy domesticity. They're Radar's "aunt and uncle," they directly roleplay marriage ("Martha, we're going to have to move, the people upstairs are impossible,") and less directly behave as though married (the bickering in Alcoholics Unanimous, the discussion about naming their pony in Life With Father). Occasionally they're treated as a healthy couple in contrast to Frank and Margaret's toxicity ("While I'm gone, promise you'll go out with other doctors," vs "Touch anyone else and I'll cut off your hands" in Aid Station).

In some instances the jokes lean towards predatory - "If you're trying to get me drunk, it'll work," or "Who is this man in bed with me?" "I followed you home from the movies," but they're always playful, always fond. If Hawkeye takes on a submissive or victimized role in these jokes, it's one he has fun with and discards just as easily in the context of the rest of his relationship with Trapper.

So, it's important to note that Hawkeye and Trapper support each other and look after each other in an equal, enthusiastic friendship. From Trapper ensuring Hawkeye gets to sleep in Doctor Pierce and Mr. Hyde, to Hawkeye supporting Trapper when he wants to adopt a child, to Trapper right at Hawkeye's side as they attempt to procure an incubator, they are there for each other every step of the way. If their relationship is a marriage in some ways, it's a healthy, strong, and non-traditional marriage, an equal and open partnership free of jealousy and insecurities.

Compare that to the military's relationship with Hawkeye. In jokes it's characterized as powerful and predatory, far from an equal partnership. Sometimes it approaches positive - in Carry on Hawkeye, much of the humour is derived from Hawkeye and Margaret's gendered role reversal as she assumes military command of the unit. Hawkeye playfully calls her sir, seductively lies on her desk like a secretary in a porn film, and most notably treats an immunization shot as sexual penetration in a prolonged gag about sexual role reversal. Hawkeye has fun playing a sexually submissive role to a representative of military authority in this episode, but it is a submissive role.

Several of the one-off jokes have a similar sensibility, such as the double entendre of "My bellybutton's been puckering and unpuckering all day," in response to a representative of MacArthur assuming their excitement over the general's arrival to the unit, or Hawkeye's "Okay, take me, I'm yours," to Colonel Flagg. They demonstrate a willingness to play the receptive role on Hawkeye's part, but they also, pointedly, disturb the object of the jokes.

When Hawkeye makes these jokes that sexualize military authority, he's attempting to be provocative as well as defiantly drawing disruptive attention to his own powerlessness as a drafted surgeon. The power dynamic between Hawkeye and the authority of the military only goes one way, and Hawkeye gets a kick out of pointing it out in ways that perturb the representatives of that authority, but it's a power dynamic that takes its toll on him.

Many of Mash's plotlines revolve around Hawkeye rebelling and attempting to seize some scrap of agency back from the military. Adam's Ribs, for example, in which he starts a mild riot over the food he's being fed and spends the episode attempting to procure barbecue ribs from Chicago (which Trapper procures for him), or Back Pay where he tries to charge the military for his forced labour. A particularly notable example is Some 38th Parallels, in which Hawkeye complains about being paid the equivalent of a nickel per operation, and his frustration manifests in impotency until he can perform a gesture of rebellion against the military.

One unfortunate consistency of these episodes is that the army ultimately retains its power. When Hawkeye achieves his goals, it's only in small ways that do little more than satisfy his own need to assert his sense of self. Often, Hawkeye doesn't achieve his goal at all, but is thwarted by the army, such as in For Want of a Boot. In every instance he remains powerless in comparison to the authority of the military.

So the context in which Hawkeye makes these sexualized jokes about the military literally fucking him is one of abject helplessness. In a sense, all he's capable of is pointing out what the military is doing and putting it in his own, audacious terms. He's not capable of preventing it. His jokes usually have an edge of bitterness to them in delivery, and when they don't, that tone is imparted anyway by the greater context.

With Trapper, Hawkeye can play-act a marriage or an assault, but in either case he's an enthusiastically consenting, equal partner. Trapper's performance of masculinity allows for Hawkeye to take any role from victim to wife to husband, and enables Trapper to respond in kind from a position of equality and respect. The military, in its insecure, domineering performance of masculinity, is a dictatorial authority, never allowing Hawkeye perform any role but a feminized, victimized one, and only ever giving him the choice of whether to perform with a wry smile or a sneer.

In short, Trapper is the cool, considerate service top to the military's insecure domineering boyfriend.

I'm tagging everyone who enabled this lol, share the blame. @beansterpie @majorbaby @professormcguire @rescue-ram

[mountmortar]

anyway anyone who thinks that blue is the poster boy for the "jerk rival" trope when silver is quite literally right there has clearly never paid any attention to any of blue's dialogue in the games, where there are Quite Literally Multiple Instances of blue giving red advice meant to aid him on his journey in the same way that many of the later friendly rivals and neighbors do, even if the tone of it isn't as sickeningly sweet as the later rivals are. blue literally, in the game, waited in the middle of silph co. to challenge red to a battle to make SURE he was ready to take on giovanni because he was worried about him. do some of you genuinely think that blue was so mean to red when they were eleven that red is like. still traumatized by it when they're in their twenties or something.

red and blue's whole journey is actually kind of hilarious because you have professor oak very clearly favoring red to the point where blue isn't even an afterthought and blue's clearly decided that he's sick of it and hates red now but he still shows up to give him advice and check on him to make sure he can actually handle fighting team rocket and whatnot. it's just a constant loop of "yo! red! crawl around in grassy areas to find more pokémon! go visit bill (who gives red the s.s. anne pass) and thank him for creating the P.C.! i waited here in silph co. for you because i knew you'd turn up! you collected all the badges, too? that's cool! i was looking forward to seeing you!" that he buries under another loop of eleven-year-old "I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU LOOK HOW COOL AND STRONG I AM" bullshit because again. he's just up and decided he hates red now because he's clearly & understandably jealous of all the attention professor oak is giving him ("you and your rival used to play nicely together when you were little, but lately, he has become mean." -> pokémon blue manual) but that doesn't change the fact that they've been friends since they were toddlers and that never once goes away no matter WHAT happens between them. do you think blue's phone call ("I'm Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven't seen him in a long time...I wonder where he is and what he's up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just...Just a little bit. Whatever...") came from nowhere. Do you think that isn't the sound of a fourteen-year-old missing his best friend. Grabbing you all by the shoulders here. Do you think they ever stopped being friends. If you answer wrong you get tossed into a volcano

[vesperione]

IS YOUR MAN an elderly scientist able to cheat death who is definitely using his research illegally with the ability to create sacrifices for higher deities who lives in a mansion in isolation, who’s also gay, with a stockpile of some sort of necessity in the basement, who also has a habit of holding you at gunpoint.

Bcs idk what to tell u because that might be Kurt (Dread Weight) or Henry Hidgens (Hatchetfield) and I’m morbidly concerned over the fact this happened twice

[shsenhaji]

📚 January Reading Round-Up 📚

January was a pretty great reading month! Finished a few books I'd started in December, while also binging some new ones.

- Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan (good, very funny and bittersweet, full of detailed and lush descriptions, loved the last part the best, very different than the movie's plot)

- Paladin's Strength by T. Kingfisher (Delightful, funny, characters were a bit too self-deprecating but it worked nonetheless, all the feels)

- Manacled by Senlinyu (Very good, cried at a lot of parts, not my favourite iteration of this trope but a great addition, loved the fanart, interesting take on Draco Malfoy that I did enjoy)

- Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (Very good, loved the audiobook, funny and smart and heartfelt, MC has ADHD vibes, some cool twists, great intertwined flashback story structure)

- Fullmetal Alchemist Fullmetal Edition Vol. 5 by Hiromu Arakawa (Very good, thankfully some of the scenes didn't hit me as hard as the anime, loved the humour and the art style)

- The Theft of Sunlight by Intisar Khanani (Good, very intense, loved the second half of the book more, great character development and themes)

- A Darkness at the Door by Intisar Khanani (Very very good, binged it in a day, very poetic and lyrical and angry and cathartic, loved the romance and the friendships and the ending)

- Tuyo by Rachel Neumeier (Good, loved the beginning, not quite what I was expecting for the ending, great characters and communication)

[arosnowflake]

Reading Round-Up May 2023

I am going to try to catalogue new media/art I've experienced each month in an effort to kick my ass and expose myself to new stuff. Because it'll be really embarrassing for me if at the end of a month I have to say 'I didn't read a single book, didn't watch any movies/shows, or play any games'. Despite the name this isn't just about reading, I just couldn't resist the alliteration. That said this month it's very much about reading because the only game I played was Stardew Valley and I didn't watch any movies or shows, press F. So with the explanation out of the way:

Things Read (Or, More Accurately: Novellas Read)

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

A newly published horror novella about a mermaid and a plague doctor coming across a village of children under the cultish leadership of three surgeons able to cheat death. Also it's set in the taiga. I pre-ordered this and I'm so glad I did because I'm absolutely obsessed with it. Honestly, this book has shot up to be one of my favourites of all time already, probably. The prose is fantastic, the world eerily well-drawn despite the general lack of detail (which works in its favor if anything), the characters unique and interesting, and I just adore the pacing and plot development. Excited to read more by this author. If you like stories with themes of death/immortality, and/or well-described viscera, you should read this. (Major content warnings include cannibalism, medical abuse/trauma, child death, and domestic abuse.)

The Seven Who Were Hanged by Leonid Andreyev

Anti-death penalty propaganda from more than a hundred years ago, available on Project Gutenburg, this novella follows seven prisoners doomed to be hanged, five insurrectionists and two murderers. A competent and interesting book well-worth reading, but I admit I don't have any strong feelings on it personally.

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Already a well-received novella, this book recently got an influx of sales thanks to one bigolas dickolas, one of the funniest things that's happened in publishing in quite some time. It's about two agents from opposite sides of a time war, exchanging letters and falling in love. It's a good book with lyrical prose and a very interesting world, and I was engaged and enjoyed reading it. However, as expected (and why I put off reading it despite it having been on my radar for a while), I was much more interested in the time war than I was in the romance, which was kind of an issue. The characters were so thoroughly defined by their love for one another that a lot of the emotional beats at the end of the book did not hit me as hard as they should've. Still, that's hardly an issue with the book; those who like romance will probably get much more out of this novella than me, and I still found it a very good book.

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz

A (self-described) f/f asexual romance novella about an engineer and a near-300-year-old sapient robot who runs a tea shop in memory of her former lover/owner, who learns to move on. I really want to like this book, if only because it's a queer indie work with a lot of heart. But I just don't. In a word, this book is lackluster; the prose is lackluster, the worldbuilding lackluster, the characterization and development lackluster, etc. It persistently reminded me of fanfic as I was reading it, and that's not a compliment. It was not an awful read, and it's short and cheap, so if the premise interests you, there are worse ways to spend a few hours. But that's hardly glowing praise.

Ten Days in a Mad House by Nellie Bly

Non-fiction novella that's a collection of newspaper articles written by Bly, chronicling her commitment to and subsequent stay in the Blackwell Island insane asylum. Bly faked insanity in order to go undercover, resulting in a landmark piece of reporting that called attention to the horrific treatment of patients in insane asylums, written in 1887. A fascinating read, though obviously, tread cautiously. Bly's writing reads easy, and it's easy to see how she captivated newspaper readers at the time. It's available for free on Project Gutenberg; the edition there also includes two other articles, one of Bly attempting to find work as a servant, one of Bly working a factory job.

Through the Gates of the Silver Key, The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, The Dreams in the Witch House, The Shadow over Innsmouth, The History of the Necronomicon, The Dunwich Horror, The Festival, The Haunter of the Dark, The Whisperer in the Darkness, At the Mountains of Madness, and Out of the Aeons by H.P. Lovecraft

I've been making my way through Lovecraft's bibliography and specifically the Dream Cycle stories for the past few months. This month I finally finished the Dream Cycle, and began working through the Cthulu Mythos stories I've thusfar missed.

I fucking hate Lovecraft's writing. It's formulaic as all hell; if you've read one Lovecraftian horror story, you've read at least 90% of the others. His descriptions can be quite vivid, but too often he insists on not fucking describing shit when it actually comes to the horrors, and I get that's the point, but you can only say 'the horror is indescribable' in so many ways before it becomes boring. Plus, even when he does describe things, his descriptions always follow the same cadence, sentence structure, and vocabulary, making them, again, formulaic as all hell. Some of his concepts are interesting, but they're invariably bogged down by his absolutely rancid worldviews. His racism is, rightfully, famous, but his stories indicate a deeply classist, exceptionalist, and eugenicist worldview as well, not to mention a preoccupation with escapism and nostalgia that's beyond childish, which makes these stories absolutely fucking insufferable. I quickly resorted to finding readings of his stories on Librivox and Youtube when possible, so that I could at least be doing something else while I worked through them. From the ones I've read this month, I'd say the ones worth reading if you're interested in Lovecraft's worldbuilding are Through the Gates of the Silver Key (though you will need to read, at the very least, The Silver Key first, and preferably some other Dream Cycle and/or Randolph Carter stuff, especially The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath), The History of the Necronomicon (exactly what it sounds like, extremely short), The Whisperer in the Darkness, Out of the Aeons, and At The Mountains of Madness. Reluctantly, I’ll also recommend The Shadow over Innsmouth by virtue of it being basically required Lovecraft reading, but I was rather unimpressed by it. Also major racism warnings for pretty much everything but specifically Out of the Aeons in general, two instances of the N-word with the hard R in Through the Gates of the Silver Key, a white guy cosplaying an Indian one in that same story, and whatever the fuck Shadow over Innsmouth had going on, this paragraph is already far too long, I do not have the time to get into it.

TL;DR don’t read Lovecraft but if you must, from this month’s stories the ones worth suffering through are Through The Gates of the Silver Key, The History of the Necronomicon, The Whisperer in the Darkness, Out of the Aeons, At The Mountains of Madness, and The Shadow over Innsmouth.

[spoffyumi]

2022 reading round-up, part 2

2022 reading round-up, part 2

This has been a great year for reading! In total I read 218 books, and completed my Goodreads challenge of 125 books about halfway through the year. As of my last reading round-up post I had read 129 books, which means I read 88 books in the second half of the year. Not bad! A full list of all the books I read between August and December 2022 is posted below, and you can also check out my 2022…

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

⚠️Vote for whomever YOU DO NOT KNOW⚠️‼️

[parmahamlarrie]

Happy July! I read some truly incredibly works this month, I hope you enjoy them as much as I have! x As always, please leave the authors love in the form of kudos and comments!

Coraçāo selvagem || @nooradeservedbetter || 50.1k Omegaverse, Shifter AU, Pack Dynamics, Feral Alpha, Courting, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence This was such a pleasure to beta! A truly plot focused story that will have you kept locked in from beginning to end!

My Hands at Risk, I Fold || @yourgorgeouscolors28 || 43.7k Established Relationship, Injury Recovery, Famous/Famous, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, Fluff God, I just adored this. I think it checked all my boxes in what I want in a comfort fic! So lovely, a great read, and one that will stick with me for a long time.

a little, then suddenly || @holdingontochaos || 34k Friends to Lovers, Graysexual Harry, Roommates, Idiots in Love I truly am not sure I have words for this one. It is just wholly and entirely fantastic and deeply moving and so lovely.

On a starlit night || @lunarheslwt || 24.1k Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Pack Dynamics, Shifter AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Courting Ceremony, Pack Luna Louis This was such a great mix of fluff and plot, thoroughly lovely all the way through!

Nest To You || @neondiamond || 14.9k Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Getting Together, Nesting This was such a fun little dive into the life of a couple! I love the timestamp structure!

It's Not That I Don't Want You || @parmahamlarrie || 12.5k Established Relationship, Ace Harry, Character Study, Fashion Designer Harry

may your dreams be kind tonight || @tippitytap || 11k Strangers to Lovers, OCD, Insomnia, Anxiety This felt deeply personal (to me) and poignant and was so, so good.

Never Wanted Love, Just A Fancy Car || @loveislarryislove || 7.7k Boss/Employee, Strangers to Lovers, Office Sex, Misunderstandings

On That Note || @allwaswell16 || 6.2k Omegaverse, Office AU, Pen Pal AU, Humor, Co-Workers to Lovers This one is just so fun, a really good time! I'm sad I missed it before!

Quiet Afternoon Crush / Violent Overnight Rush || harrys || 4.9k Girl Direction, Friends with Benefits, Halloween, Unresolved Feelings

reckless serenade || thepolourryexpress || 4.4k Girl Direction, College AU, Valentine's Day, Established Relationship

Yesterday's gone (it'll be better than before) || @red-pandaaa || 3.5k Canon, Euro 2024, Exes to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort

Miles Away From Seeing You || @loveislarryislove || 1k Established Relationship, Long Distance Basically a SMAU on AO3, which I loved!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy very belated birthday.. I hope you had much time celebrating by digging for tubers : )

I'M DIGGING FOR TUBERS! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!