#Rare Friendship Hell

[valtiels-darkness]

So. Very. Delusional.

Rare Pair Hell?

Rare Pair Hell.

But also.... Rare Pair Friendship Hell is a thing!

Like Konan and Orochimarusomehow become best friends? Like, how? I don'tcare, i want it as long as it's believable!

In a Canon AU divergence? In a complete AU? Needs to happen.

Like, here is an AU idea for it! Konan and Orochimaru are both dating someone at the same time (Doesn'tmatter who, fuck maybe Asuma, i dunno, not really in his character? Just popped in my head. That is not the point) and Orochimaru finds out? Instead he meets Konan, says so and so is my bf and Konan goes me too and they just talk, take a whole lot of pics to send to their now ex but have become friends?

I don't fricken know. ))

“this ship isn’t canon” to YOU. I, however, am delusional

[blistering-typhoons]

there are plenty of sources i can turn to for written romance that makes me chew the walls and marvel at human emotion, but there is very little in visual medium that has caught my adoration, very little that isn't buried in subtext that is- i mean an actual honest to god romance on film which can make me lose my shit, and i know they're out there!!! catered specifically to me!!!! i just haven't found them-

[deesi-academia]

i talked to my extrovert friends on call today after almost a month and I'm sooooooo glad they haven't ditched me in their mind yet- like they were still so open and friendly I felt so nice and we talked for TWO HOURS. ME. ON CALL. FOR 2 HOURS.

[moonlitlunas]

do not separate my mary jane and peter for ur silly old man yaoi !!!

HOWEVER ... have we considered a throuple instead?

mj introducing them like "this is my husband peter and his boyfriend miguel who is also my boyfriend" like april in that one scene in parks and rec

[chuchayucca]

Every time a fandom creates a ship tag/name, there should be a separate tag/name created for the friendship equivalent

[simonbrain]

you rarely call price by his first name. it's usually just a very cheery cap! or a stoic price when you need to remind him of the objective, but whenever you do call him john—you tried jonathan once as a joke, and the piercing stare he gave you made that the first and last time—it's warm, earnest. you almost seem shy uttering it, judging by the softness of your voice, but he calms your nerves with a fond look and an affectionate squeeze on the back of your neck.

getting the privilege of calling soap by his first name, let alone johnny, was an accomplishment in itself. you noticed how ghost was the only one who called him johnny, and so you took that as a sign to never refer to him as anything other than his ridiculous callsign and occasionally an incredulous bloody hell, mactavish, whenever he says something outrageous.

until you did slip up one night, but soap didn't seem to mind too much. he quite liked how his first name sounded in your voice, and when he offered you to call him johnny instead, which you mumbled under your breath to test it out, his surprised expression morphed into a genuine smile, one so pretty a rush of energy zipped through you. now, he won't let you call him anything except johnny—pretty much threatens you.

gaz was the first one on the team who allowed you to call him by his first name. hearing you mumble a tired morning, kyle or a warning but unserious kylie... when he's being a little shit makes his day a little brighter. you'd think the two of you were good mates with many years of friendship under your belts with the way you mock and poke at each other—especially when he lets you get away with calling him the most ridiculous pet names, like pookie, of all things.

while you seem to maintain good relations with your team, close ones even, there's just one person who stumps you. one big, enigmatic bastard who gives you creepy looks and speaks in nothing but cryptic language.

it honestly feels like your lieutenant dislikes you; no wonder you're still stuck with calling him by his callsign.

(poor ghost has been waiting for weeks for those plush lips of yours to utter his name. not ghost, not lieutenant or sir, but simon.

it's getting painful how oblivious you are to his attempts at giving you the green light to use his first name; the hard stare he gives you after hearing yet another formal greeting fall from your lips only seems to make you straighten up even more, and the annoyance radiating off of him every time you call him ghost scares you further away from him.

you're so formal with him, and he doesn't know what else to do—he just wants to be called a cute stupid nickname, too.)

[joelsgoldrush]

“lovers once a year” | 9.4k

dbf!joel miller x f!reader

SUMMARY: One always craves what is out of reach. Like the forbidden fruit that lingers just beyond grasp, tempting with its sweetness. Joel became the town’s greatest sinner, and you, his best friend’s daughter, are the tantalizing temptation he knows he should never indulge in. Your very existence marks the path to his ruin. He can't help but follow it. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. dirty talk. joel’s POV. a lot of introspection. mentions of alcohol. miscommunication. no outbreak. dbf!joel. age gap (25 and 56). petnames. religious imagery. car sex. oral sex (f!receiving). fingering. unprotected p in v. riding. missionary. doggy style. orgasm denial. crying. hair pulling. thumb/finger sucking. cum shot. creampie. reader sits on joel’s lap and has hair. moodboard for aesthetic purposes only. A/N: the fact this idea has been sitting on my drafts for over a year is just crazy. i finally found the time to put into words, and i know i’m a little late to the whole dbf!joel trope, but i’m a real sucker for it... hope you like this one! <3

No one could’ve ever said Joel was a great best friend.

For one, he was terrible at remembering important dates. His mind just didn’t catch hold of details like that—never had, really. He wasn’t the sentimental type, either. At best, he’d manage a pat on the back or a firm handshake, maybe even a call on Christmas if he remembered. Emotional displays weren’t in his nature, far too used to keeping things at arm’s length.

Luckily for him, Stephen never seemed to care much about these things. They’d been friends for over forty years—which is, well, a hell of a long time, especially considering each had gone off to carve out his own life. They’d trudged through both primary and secondary school side by side, and Joel felt Stephen’s absence like a hollow ache the day his friend left for university in another state.

Technology eventually offered them more ways to connect, but it didn’t make keeping up any simpler. The years had tested them, and somehow, they’d held on to the quiet strength of their friendship—a bond they’d forged across decades and distance, held steady like the roots of an old tree.

Stephen was the laid-back type, always down for anything as long as a cold beer was part of the deal. It was rare for him to lose his temper, having a way of letting nuisances slide. Joel could bend every rule, yet Stephen’s patience never wavered. He was unflappable, hardly bothered by Joel’s mood swings, which was what made them a match made in heaven. Nothing could throw him off.

Though Joel doubts Stephen would stay so calm if he knew what he’d done to his daughter. As mentioned, Joel’s not exactly what you’d call a good friend—particularly considering he’s slept with his best friend’s daughter. Just once, to be fair. One ephemeral, impulsive encounter. Right here, in this very house, exactly three hundred and sixty-five days ago.

His gaze drifts across the room, settling on you at a smaller table a few meters away, surrounded by your younger cousins, ages five to fifteen. He watches as you scroll absent-mindedly on your phone, your brow furrowed in concentration, only tearing your eyes away from the screen when one of the kids hurls a handful of salty peanuts at you.

You press your palms flat against the tablecloth, eyes narrowing as you scowl playfully at the child, a mischievous glint in your expression. “You’ve got ten seconds to run,” you utter in a tone meant to sound ominous, tickling his sides until he erupts in laughter, his giggles filling the dining room with raw joy.

Joel’s been here for over two hours, but he can’t recall a single detail about the night’s events. All he knows is you—he’s studied your every movement, following the shape of your silhouette through the crowd. He’s accepted a few drinks, engaged in shallow conversation with your relatives, trying his best to play the part of a man with nothing to hide. But despite his efforts, despite every attempt to appear unaffected, he feels a slow burn kindling in the pit of his stomach, an ache that curls through him in a deliciously destructive way.

It’s when you look up, locking eyes with him, that he nearly mutilates the chicken breast on his plate, the knife skittering over porcelain with a screech. He quickly mutters an apology, excusing his clumsiness and blaming it on one too many drinks. Meanwhile, you don’t quit glaring at him, a hint of a challenge dancing in your stare.

This shouldn’t feel the way it does, this hazardous, risky game you’re playing. At one time, he might’ve thought this was something only seen in movies, something imagined and unreal. But here you are, and here he is, and the indisputable hunger in your eyes is as real as anything he’s ever known.

Suddenly, his memories drift back to a year ago, to your grandmother’s 84th birthday—the night it all began.

Stephen had left Austin when he was eighteen to pursue a college degree. That’s how he’d ended up in New York, and from that point on, he never came back. It’d been amazing to see him as an equal when they were teenagers, but as they grew older, the only things they shared were the white hairs scattered all over their beards and the memories of much better days.

Whenever they got in touch—which didn’t happen often—your dad would talk about you. You were just a name without a face, an empty canvas. Close to graduating, with only a few subjects and finals left. Psychology was your major—weren’t you smart? Joel remembers typing back with a string of exclamation marks to show his contentment. His best friend’s daughter was a success; how could he not be happy?

One random day, Joel’s phone buzzed late in the afternoon, flashing with Stephen’s name. It was rare for them to talk outside the usual birthdays and holidays, so seeing his name on the screen sent a small jolt through him. A dozen scenarios raced through his mind as he picked up, each one edging between concern and curiosity.

Just like that, Stephen dropped the news without any preamble. “I’m moving back to Austin,” His voice came in clear, and there was something unusual about it, brisk but almost nostalgic. Joel gripped the phone a little tighter, processing the words. “In fact, I’m filling up the gas tank as we speak. There’s someone at home who wants to see you.”

That someone had been your grandmother. With a twinkle in her eye, she’d insisted on inviting Joel to her 84th birthday. “It’s the perfect chance for you two to reconnect,” she’d declared, her tone laced with warmth and hope. She adored Joel, practically worshipping the ground he walked on, often reminiscing about the vibrant young man he had once been.

Who could deny anything to an elderly person, especially one as cherished as her? He was strong, physically imposing, but not strong enough to resist her wishes.

The reunion was going as well as it could, given the circumstances. After all, it was a strange kind of delight, seeing his best friend for the first time in decades. Joel thought they’d do what friends do—sit back, drink, smoke, and trade stories about the good old days. 

Then you walked into the room, absolutely gorgeous and with a smile that was all teeth, and you reached out to shake Joel’s hand as you introduced yourself. The contrast hit him instantly—your skin was satin-like against his, smooth where his was rough and calloused from years of handling concrete and steel. A subtle heat bloomed where your fingers touched, the chill of the rings on your hand sending a shiver through him, as if his senses had sharpened in that brief instant.

You pulled away, taking a step back, your eyes flicking between him and your dad. Joel’s arm fell back to his side, his hand forming a tight fist, the bite of his nails embedded into his palm to keep him grounded. But he couldn’t stop himself from scrutinizing you—every detail of your face, the curve of your smile, the effortless way you carried yourself. Your beauty was at fault, not him. You were completely out of reach, yet close enough to marvel at. He was no more than a man, bound to notice the charm of a pretty girl like you.

That you happened to be the daughter of his best friend—that was just a cruel stroke of fate. 

“Oh, sweetie. I’m glad you got to meet Joel at last!” Stephen’s voice cut through his thoughts, an arm draping across Joel’s shoulders, pulling him into an affectionate embrace. “He’s that friend from school I’ve been telling you about.”

Stephen looked so at ease, so utterly pleased, that Joel could only swallow back the lump in his throat. What kind of sick joke was this? What could he have possibly done to deserve this twist of the knife?

With a soft laugh, you folded your hands behind your back, tilting your head to the right. “My father wouldn’t shut up about you,” you said, light and melodic, drawing him in like a lure. Joel found himself adrift in the sweet cadence of your voice, entranced by the delicate chain glinting at your throat, resting just above the neckline of your shirt, the v-cut hinting at a world of temptation.

He blinked owlishly, fighting the images clawing behind his eyelids. “Well, he’s a good man, your father,” Joel managed, his smile strained. Not because it wasn’t true, but because there was a blaring alarm in his head, warning him to get a fucking grip. He knew himself well enough to read the signs, the underlying meaning beneath these nerves, the quickened pulse, the quiet, undeniable urge to reach out and feel you.

He was gone already. He fancied you, and his mind raced with thoughts he knew he had no right to entertain. He imagined what you’d taste like, the way you might sound if he were between your legs, encouraging you to gasp his name. Yet, he was aware that these fantasies were as treacherous as they were forbidden, even more with you standing right in front of him. And your father, just inches away.

From the kitchen, someone called out to Stephen, and with a weary sigh, he unhooked himself from Joel’s shoulder. “Coming!” he shouted back, already angling himself toward the door. He glanced back at the two of you, half-smiling while rubbing his temples. “I forgot how exhausting it is to host a family birthday party. I’ll be right back. You two go ahead and chat without me.”

Fuck, no, Joel thought to himself. Don’t leave me here. Where the hell are you going?

Joel resorted to remaining silent, choosing instead to take a long sip of his beer to avoid the occasion of sin. He refused to look in your direction, fixing his gaze on anything that didn’t involve your bare legs—the same legs he’d just been eyeing in those damn denim shorts, which exquisitely hugged your thighs. But, then again, he shouldn’t even be noticing that.

As he peered down at the carpet, he couldn’t ignore the movement of your shoes as you stepped closer. He observed your fingers playing idly with the frayed edges of your shorts, your body inching nearer, and he braced himself in anticipation of whatever you might say next. When his eyes landed on yours, he was met with an aura of expectancy, a cocky smirk pulling at your lips.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh, Mr. Miller,” you murmured, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed with effort. Letting your hand linger beside your face, you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, glancing at him through your lashes. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Joel felt the flush rise to his cheeks, and there was no mistaking it—you were doing this on purpose. Were you trying to push him off balance, to see how far he’d bend before snapping? Was this just a game for you, a bit of mischief to spice up a family gathering? The idea irritated him, but he couldn’t entirely ignore the thrill woven into the discomfort. A quarter of his mind itched to play along, but the rest of him screamed to find the nearest exit.

“Y’can just call me Joel. No needa be so formal,” he mumbled, lifting the beer bottle to his lips once again, the bitterness spreading across his tongue.

“But I like Mr. Miller better.”

His mind conjured all those images of fire and damnation, of being dragged to some dark, smoldering pit. Rotting in hell, he could already see himself within the flames. Tugging at the collar of his flannel, now too tight and hot, he gave a rough, clearing cough. “M’gonna—go find your dad.”

He was glad you didn’t try to approach him in public again. For a few hours, he felt something close to tranquillity—not fully, though, as he could still hear echoes of your voice in the silences. Every so often, out of the corner of his eye, he’d catch you orbiting near him, lurking in his peripheral vision, even though you sat at a different table.

Later in the night, he wandered upstairs in search of the bathroom, instead stumbling upon your father’s childhood bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and he took the liberty to enter it, a familiar scent filling the room. He ran his fingers over the walls, still papered with posters he recognized well. It was as if time had paused there—everything remained as it had the last time he’d been in this very room. The framed portraits, the worn bedspread, and Stephen’s desk, scattered with foreign bills under a layer of glass, each one a memento from the different countries he had visited.

It was only a matter of time before you found him, a light knock on the open door drawing his attention. Joel turned on his heels, catching sight of you, acknowledging your presence with a slight bow of his head. You ambled toward him, curiosity alight in your steps, twisting the chain of your necklace, a restless gesture that betrayed the energy simmering beneath your calm exterior.

He scratched the back of his head, offering a half-hearted smile. “This isn’t the bathroom, right?” he joked, attempting a casual tone. The joke was a weak one, admittedly, but you laughed anyway, a nonchalant sound that showed the gleam of your teeth.

“No, I don’t think it is,” you replied, sliding onto the edge of the desk with an effortless ease. “What brought you here?”

“Birthday parties can be a bit overwhelmin', dontcha think?” 

“Totally.”

And then you went back to watching him, your eyes tracing his features with an almost stubborn intensity. 

“You gonna stop doin' that?” he asked, the words coming out sharper than he meant, though they didn't make you flinch.

“Doing what, exactly?”

“Lookin' at me all doe-eyed.” His voice didn’t waver, but he advanced in your direction. His knees nearly brushed against yours, the weathered denim grazing your bare skin, and only then did a flicker of uncertainty soften your confident stance. “Whatever it is you’re after, it’s not gonna happen. So quit tryin’.”

You drew in a slow breath, pushing yourself to your feet. “You sure about that?” Before he had the time to react, you were standing inches from him, your chest pressing against his, just close enough for him to feel the soft weight of your breasts. “Should I pretend, then, that I haven’t noticed you’ve been half-hard all night?”

Joel's jaw tightened, his teeth gritting almost painfully. His fists flexed by his sides, his entire body feeling heavier, muscles pulled taut by some invisible thread. "Watch your mouth.”

“Or what?” You hooked a finger inside his belt loop, tugging him that much closer. Your breath, fresh and minty, mingled with the faint scent of your perfume, and he inhaled both, heady on the mix. “You’re gonna teach me a lesson?”

There was only so much patience a man like him could summon, and you were a thorn in his flesh, determined and unyielding. He leaned in, voice gruff as he uttered three words that made your brows knit together. “Close the door.” You stayed frozen, lips parting in surprise. “Did y’hear me? M’not into exhibitionism. Close. The. Door.”

You did as he asked, obliging, stepping back to close the door before returning to your place. Without warning, he turned you around, pressing your palms flat against the cool glass of the desk, a sharp chill that made you yelp. His hand settled firmly on your back, guiding you down until your chest was flush against the surface as well. In one swift motion, your shorts were gone, followed by your soaked panties, a damp spot where your arousal had begun to seep through.

He slipped his fingers inside you first, his hand covering your mouth to stifle the needy whimpers escaping your lips. The roughness of his beard grazed your cheek as he hovered over you, his breath hot in your ear as he spoke. “Bein’ too fuckin’ loud, doll.” Matching the rhythm of the slow drag of his fingers, his hips pressed forward, grinding against the curve of your ass, each movement making his mouth go dry. “Y’want this cock that bad?” He nipped at your throat, and you, against his sweaty palm, mumbled what could have only been a muffled Yes. “Then I need y’to keep real quiet for me, alright?”

His jeans and boxers hung around his knees, his cock leaking and throbbing at the tip. Joel realized what true desperation felt like, dangerously close to busting his load at any given moment before even getting the chance to be fully inside you. On top of the desk, your body trembled, and you reached back, pulling your top higher up to bare more of yourself to him. He unclasped your bra with one hand, while his other guided him to your entrance, his lips pressing reverently against your spine as he pushed inside, savoring the heat of your walls wrapping around him for the first time. It certainly didn’t feel like anything he’d ever experienced in his fifty-six years of life.

It had been short, and harsh, and fast. Borderline animalistic, what experts would label as a quick fuck. The moment he breached your entrance, you begged for more, fucking yourself back onto him until his thighs met your skin. You acted as if possessed by a greater entity, diabolic, though Joel didn’t mind it. He relished it, welcomed it. But he couldn’t let you take the reins. He asserted his dominance, snapping his hips forward with a force that drew moans from the depths of your lungs. He was the one in control, driving himself deeper and deeper within you. Suffice it to say you seemed to love it, if the sounds he elicited from you were anything to go by.

It was what you wanted, what you needed. One way or another, he’d caught onto what those lingering glances throughout the party had signified. Every glance you’d thrown his way had been leading to this—a silent promise that whatever was happening had been destined to be the night’s climax.

You bit down on his palm as you reached your peak, tightening around him, and perhaps it was the thrill of it all, the knowledge that he’d need far more time to become well acquainted with your body, that had him chasing after you. Holding back until you came had been a feat, pulling out seconds prior to his release, stroking his length once before painting your skin with his seed. A low, primal groan escaped him as he slid his length between your cheeks, prolonging his high, each heated pulse marking you in a way that felt undeniably his.

As he regained his composure, he watched you swirl your thumb along your lower back, collecting a trace of his release, and bringing it to your lips to have a taste of him. You softly laughed when he cursed under his breath, turning your face lazily to the side. “Damn minx y’are,” he rasped, closing the gap between your mouths, his claiming yours in an urgent kiss. Your mewls faded beneath the insistent press of his mouth as he sought to suppress the strange pull in his guts, reluctant to confront the unfamiliar sensations churning within him.

Things wrapped up quickly after that. You both returned to your places, resuming the roles you’d stepped out of briefly: Joel had been in the bathroom; you had been on the phone with a friend. When he reappeared downstairs minutes after you, no one thought twice about his slightly damp hair.

For the remainder of the party, the two of you exchanged no further words. The time for him to leave came, and he offered only a nod of his head across the packed living room. It was a farewell only Joel would give, a subtle acknowledgment that left you wondering about its meaning. There were no explanations, no parting words.

The next time he saw your father, the mere thought of seeing you again terrified him. If it’d happened once, then the temptation would still remain undiminished, strong enough to awaken the lust and the longing veiled in silence. But you weren’t there anymore—back in New York, focused on finishing your semester at college. The surprise must have been evident on Joel’s face, a bewilderment that prompted Stephen to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Remember I told you she hasn’t graduated yet?”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember now,” he said, wishing to convince both your father and himself.

You were out of the picture, no longer around. Yet, the two of you now shared a secret. You still do, to this day. He’s no stranger to the notion that some things never seem to change. After all, he’s a creature of habit—same breakfast every morning, same brand of bread he’s been buying for years. Like all his other preferences, he’s come to realize he likes his women a certain way. And though he hates to admit it, you fit the bill perfectly.

Betty, Stephen’s mother, was turning eighty-five tonight. A seat with Joel’s name was saved at the big table; they wanted him there, his best friend and his best friend’s mother. How nice it was to actually feel wanted. He liked that feeling. Still, he’d had to bite his tongue when your father mentioned you’d be there, too. You had graduated at long last, with your birthday having been just a couple of weeks ago.

“Can’t believe she’s twenty-five already,” Stephen muttered with a chuckle, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

Sitting beside him, Joel gripped the arm of his chair, sinking his nails into it. “Me neither, man.”

His choices had led him to this moment. The clinking of glasses rings in his ears, blending with laughter and the rich aroma of food that fills the air. None of it manages to distract him. He can't help but track you down, eyes scanning the room, relentless in their pursuit of yours. The need to see you goes beyond any shred of restraint he might have faked to have. Joel can’t muster the decorum to feign indifference—God, not when you’re near, when the pull toward you feels like gravity itself. He’s keenly, almost painfully aware, that he’s not even pretending to be indifferent, his interest etched plainly in the way his gaze persists, refusing to pull away.

It’s his first time seeing you in a year. A lot can change in that span of time. He can’t help but be amazed, because you look just the same as you did back then. Only your hair’s a touch shorter. He wonders if it’s even noticeable, or if he’s just spent so long memorizing your features that he’s losing his sanity. He bets it’s the latter.

A light pressure on his shoulder makes Joel jump, breaking down his reverie. He turns quickly, eyes widening. "Betty," he exhales, patting his chest with a smile, eyebrows lifted. "Jeez. Y’scared me."

“Y’alright, Joely? Y’look a bit pale.” The older woman reaches up, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead with a gentle familiarity. Through her lens, he’s still young. “Doesn’t seem like you’ve got a fever, though.”

"That’s ‘cause I’m not sick." Joel takes her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "How’s everythin’ goin’ so far? Got all these people together just t’celebrate ya’."

"It’s a wonderful night, sweetheart. So happy y’found the time t’be here," she replies, pinching his cheek in that affectionate way that earns her a quiet laugh from him. Her eyes then catch sight of a familiar figure. "Oh, look who's here. If it isn’t my beautiful granddaughter."

He stops smiling. In fact, he thinks he even stops breathing for a second as you intrude yourself into the scene, settling yourself beside your grandmother, flashing him a knowing grin. “I was getting kind of bored with the little ones.” 

“Y’know Joel, right, dear?”

“Yes.” A pause, a beat you draw out between breaths. “Yes, I do.”

Betty leans his way, her warm hand still on him. “Have y’heard the latest news? This young lady just graduated.”

“Stephen told me,” he answers, looking up at you with a reserved nod. “Congrats, kid.”

“Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

There’s that damn name again. Were he alone with you, he’d laugh in your face, but he can’t. Under the scrutiny of family and friends, he knows he’s cornered. Joel’s starting to believe you think you’re untouchable, that there are no consequences to your actions. You might look the same, maybe a little older, but that teasing, provocative spark in your eye hasn’t changed a bit.

“Always so polite, my child,” Betty says, cupping your cheek with a light pinch, a grandmotherly gesture perfected over the years which she seems to repeat often. “Any boyfriends back in New York?”

This would, without a doubt, be the perfect moment for him to excuse himself and stand up—a conversation he’d rather not be privy to. But with you positioned right in front of him, escape isn’t an option. “Still single, grandma,” you respond unfazed, as if you know exactly what you’re doing. “No one to worry about. Better like this, anyway.”

“But what’s the problem? There aren’t any boys y’like?”

He doesn’t even know what makes him say it—some impulse, some hidden tension surfacing—but he jumps in, his voice carrying a slight, sardonic edge. “Boys are more foolish than ever these days, Betty. Surely y’wouldn’t want her to settle for the first idiot who crosses her path.”

Betty clutches his arm, shaking her head in feigned shock. “Oh, not at all! It’s all about waitin’ for the right person. There’s no rush, for either of you. You’re still on your own, Joely?”

Time to drink again. He drains the last drops of alcohol remaining in his glass, feeling your eyes on him, intense and searing, and then he clears his throat, swallowing down the words he’d rather say. “Affirmative.”

“Well,” she sighs contentedly, patting each of your hands as though binding you both with some invisible thread. “Just means y’two have to wait a bit longer, right? Time has its way.” She chuckles, eyes soft with memory, turning to you. “Darlin’, this man here was quite the heartbreaker in his day. He and your dad would find all kinds of trouble with the ladies!”

“How so?” You cross your arms, playfully tilting your chin up. “Joel Miller, the charmer of the town?”

“Guess I’ve been known t’make a fool of myself,” he shoots back, silently cursing the moment he missed his chance to slip away. “Stephen got more fans than I did, though.”

“I did what?” Joel feels an elbow nudging his back, and there’s his friend, grinning in his usual easy way.

Joel's luck in life had been more bruised than blessed, a string of hardships that seemed amplified compared to what most people experienced. Being drawn in by you—in which category did that fall? Good luck or bad? He couldn't decide. Every glance and delicate smile you aimed his way stirred something reckless within him. Was it pure thrill, or a warning?

He laughs every time Stephen cracks a joke, but he’s barely listening, his mind half-tethered to the present. It’s like he’s watching himself from afar, observing his reactions as if he were an outsider. He isn’t stoned or drunk, just acutely mindful of your presence. He catches himself peeking up at you from where he sits, jaw tight, his brow creased. You meet his gaze with a slight squint, a polite look that hides something far more dangerous.

Boys are more foolish than ever these days. He’s sure of that much. They’re young, untested. But what about him? He’s no model of virtue, either. He’s made his share of mistakes, left good women behind—women who were willing to love him in spite of his flaws. They’d seen through the layers he wore like armor, and yet, in the end, he couldn’t hold on to any of them. He carried the ghosts of every past life, fragments of who he’d been and what he’d left behind, and he knew those shadows weren’t for everyone.

A thought pierces through him, sharp and sobering: what would Sarah think? His lovely daughter, grown and settled into her own life, would likely be mortified to know her father’s infatuation with a twenty-something. The weight of that realization sinks into his chest, and that seems to be his last straw.

He can’t possibly take it anymore. Rising from his chair, he mutters something to Stephen about needing fresh air and makes his way to the backyard door, exhaling deeply and gripping his car keys. The cool night air hits him, stepping outside, a temporary relief as he heads toward his truck.

Just as he’s about to open the door, he hears your voice. You call his name, your tone soft but distinct. He doesn’t turn, only lets out a long, weary sigh. “What?”

“Where are you going?” You stop a few steps behind him, watching the way his shoulders visibly tense. “Are you mad at me?”

“What?” He faces you, almost snapping his neck in his rush to look at you. “Why would I be—I’m not mad at ya’.”

“Then what’s wrong? Why are you leaving so early?” 

He scrubs a hand over his nape, fingers pressing into the tension gathered there. “Would y’like me t’break it down for ya’, how messed up this is?” His gaze drops to the ground, unable to meet yours. “I’m riskin’ the only real friendship I’ve had here for… for somethin’ that I can’t even wrap my head ‘round. This isn’t okay, no matter which way I look at it.”

In that moment, it’s as if reality pulls you under. The mask of subtle, practiced arrogance falls apart, scattering in fragments around you. He watches, waiting for you to gather them up, to hide behind that composed veneer again. But you don’t move. You leave the pieces where they lie. Instead, you confront his gaze, unguarded, and ask, “Do you regret what happened between us?”

Another question. You seem to be full of them. They just keep coming, one after the other, as if you already had them prepared. I don’t, he thinks to himself, but would it do you any good if you knew it? “Don’ start with those mental games.”

“Then come back inside.”

“I know myself well enough to know what’s gonna happen if I do that, darlin’.”

Neither of you breaks the silence that’s settled between you, thick as the night air. You slip your hands into the pockets of your jacket, shoulders slightly hunched, head hanging. Once again, like all those times before, he’s struck by how young you are compared to him. The difference stretches between you like a chasm, bridged only by these stolen moments. The weight of his years presses down on him, the choices he’s made—the mistakes and the half-hearted attempts to mend them. He’s got decades on you, three of them to be precise.

Joel never thought of himself as an ever-lasting free spirit, the kind of man who clings to youth or pretends to be something he’s not. Right now, with you here, he feels reckless, like a boy again. Stupid, impulsive, like the foolish young men he used to shake his head at—the very ones he’d warned your grandmother about.

“You left without even saying goodbye last time,” you mumble, low but clear, as you scuff the toe of your shoe against the grass. “And now you’re doing it again.”

He inhales sharply, clenching his keys, feeling the edges of the brass biting into his palm. For a moment, he thinks the sharpness will give him something to hold onto, but he knows the sting is nothing more than a weak anchor. “You’re a smart girl. Don’ need me to spell this out.”

“I know exactly what you mean, trust me. I get it.”

“Then why do you keep pushing?” His pent-up exasperation slips through despite himself, and he can see the hurt flicker across your face, the way your forehead barely puckers as his words hit harder than intended.

Even as you look away, a trace of that hurt fading, you stand firm. You shake your head after a beat, seemingly trying to brush off your doubts and confusion. Joel can’t decipher if you’re feigning innocence—if you are, he thinks, you could be one hell of an actress. “I don’t know. I guess I want to see how far this can go.”

You take a small step forward, testing the waters. Your feet move cautiously, not aiming to scare him off. Each step draws you nearer until there’s only a whisper of space between you, close enough for him to catch your scent, and he has to force himself to peer down to meet your eyes. They hold a quiet intensity: pleading, wide and earnest, already trained on him. Gleaming like two lone stars cutting through a moonless, empty sky. 

It baffles him, the question forming unbidden in his mind. He goes even further, can’t help but wonder: why him? What is it that you see in him? What makes you keep coming back for more? You’ve already had a taste, a story you could tuck away, a secret to be shared with your friends someday around a campfire. So why, he would like to know, are you still here, seeking something from a man like him?

“I like you,” you blurt out, fingers drifting to skim over the worn fabric of his flannel, almost hesitantly. That tentative gesture sparks something raw in him, a low rumble of desire that feels like it’s been lying dormant for too long. Heat pulses through him, hot blood racing through his veins, awakening every nerve, each beat of his heart more insistent than the last one. “I think you like me, too.”

“You’re insufferable,” he bites out through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching so hard it nearly hurts. He closes his eyes, half hoping you’ll disappear, that he’ll find some reason, any reason, to call this off. Though when he opens them, you’re still there, waiting, unshaken. “I wish I knew how to stop this. How to walk away.”

“That’s not what you want.”

“We don’ always get what we want, kid. You’ll figure that out soon enough.” He means it as a warning, but even he hears the way his voice falters, his defenses crumbling in the face of your unflinching state.

You let out a slow sigh, your arms falling to your sides, eyes roaming over his features as if you’re memorizing every line. Your focus dips to his mouth. “Maybe,” you murmur, and he feels the warmth of your breath against his skin. “But some things are worth fighting for. And sometimes, those who don’t give up… get the best in the end.”

With a gentleness that stuns him, you lean in, bringing your lips to his in a featherlight kiss. You pull away, and he helplessly notices the way your lips part, how your breath hitches, and for a split second, the guilt becomes palpable, the significance of wanting a woman he knows he shouldn’t. You stand there, chest rising and falling, skin tingling, a faint trail of goosebumps visible where your neckline meets your chest. 

Apart from the glint in your eyes, he catches the persistent, quiet ache of want. He isn’t sure if it’s just physical attraction, if it runs deeper, or if that’s all it is for him, either. He doesn’t need to know. The simplicity of it all is a short-lived relief. It’s an easy escape, though, this bare minimum of understanding—you want him, he wants you. Let it be enough for one more moment, for tonight, just another memory he’ll have to lock away. Yet he’s aware, deep down, of his own pattern: promises broken just as easily as they’re made. He’s only fooling himself. The part of him that knows this isn’t something he’ll let go of so easily sits there, silently taunting him, daring him to make another compromise he won’t keep.

From where you remain frozen, he’s certain you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighs every possible outcome. “It’s gonna happen, isn’t it?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and before you can react, his arm slides around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and turning you toward the car door. The cool metal pressing against your back startles a gasp out of you, but the suddenness only heightens everything—the heat of his body, the toughness of his hold. 

He doesn’t waste time with words, having always been a man of action. His hand cradles your face, inspecting your features to later crush his mouth against yours. Your tongue finds his without hesitation, seeking him out, hungry and unrestrained. He savors your eagerness, the way your hands roam over him, clutching at his shirt, tugging him closer by the belt until your lower halves are pressed tightly. The taste of beer and mint clings to your lips, and a husky groan rumbles from him as your fingers find their place in the longer strands at the nape of his neck, twisting and pulling him impossibly closer. 

He could lose himself in this, the simple, electric thrill of kissing you, how you fit so perfectly against him. Hours could slip by, and he wouldn’t mind, but then reality pulls him back; it’s too exposed here, right outside his truck where anyone could stumble upon you. “Get in the car,” he rasps, pulling back just enough to catch his breath, fumbling to unlock the door. It takes him three tries, and he chuckles, feeling the warmth of your laughter beside him as you tease him.

Once inside, his mouth finds yours again, this time more urgently, his hand pressing against your back, tracing the line of your spine through the clothes. “Tell me y’want this,” he breathes, his kisses trailing down your throat, latching onto the tender skin there. “C’mon, baby. Tell me y’want it. Tell me y’want me.”

A soft, breathy sound escapes you as his mouth fixates on that sensitive spot just below your ear. You tilt your hips instinctively, craving contact in search of relief, and he shifts you onto his lap, guiding your thighs to settle over his. Desperately working to undo the buttons of his shirt, yearning to uncover him, you pant against his cheek. “J-Jesus Christ, I need you. Please, touch me. Anything will do. Just—”

He’s silently grateful for your choice of a dress tonight. It makes things easier for him, and he gets right to it, bunching the fabric around your waist, hands roaming over the soft skin of your hips before moving his fingers lower, tracing teasing lines over your clothed center. He can’t fully make out the murmured words you breathe into his ear, but your voice drives him like a lighthouse guides a sinking ship, and he adjusts his movements, pressing with more intention. The only sounds filling the car are his ragged breaths and your gasping moans, and he holds you close to his chest, cooing softly as you start to rock into his hand, asking for more. 

His fingers find their rhythm, circling your clit in deliberate flicks. Joel watches as you unravel, trembling in his arms, a hint of drool spreading over his shoulder from your parted lips on his skin. His grip tightens as he tugs your underwear down your legs, grinning when you kick them impatiently to the floor of the car. Now, as he strokes his digits up and down your folds, you turn to putty on his lap. In another world, he’d have you laid out in his bed, enjoying each inch of your body. But here, in the cramped, dim backseat, he keeps the lights off. He knows it’s reckless, yet that barely slows him down. His cock throbs at the very risk of getting caught, at the edge he’s walking just to have you like this.

“Goddamn, you’re soaked, aren’t ya’?” He doesn’t expect you to answer, at least not in any coherent way. He sinks his middle finger into your bare heat, searching your face in the dark, contemplating the fluttering of your lashes. His hand weaves into your hair, a firm tug guiding your gaze to his. Your head tips back, a moan spilling from your lips at the new sensation, rolling your hips into his palm with earnestness. “It’s gonna be a tight fit, huh? If this is how you’re grippin’ my fingers, I can’t imagine what that cunt’s gonna feel like wrapped ‘round me.”

Studies suggest that in those final, fleeting moments of life, memories flood the human mind—a last journey through a person’s years before crossing over. If he were to die after tonight, he knows your face would be there, etched into his last breath. He can almost picture it: struggling for air, teetering on the edge, with that reddish, towering figure of mortality looming over him. But even then, he’d find solace in the thought of you, thrown into oblivion. You’d grant him a last-minute reprieve, easing the ache. You’d be the one who’d hold back the shadows. This constitutes the apex of his life, and he knows he should be worried, yet intellectual dominance doesn’t stand much of a chance when confronting the heart of a man. Not when that heart, so long starved of its pulse, has finally found someone worth remembering.

He makes space for himself, thrusting his long fingers into you until he’s got your slick coating his palm. One hand settles firmly at the small of your back, guiding your movements, while he feels his collected composure faltering. You mouth at the rough stubble along his jawline when you start to get close, breathless whimpers clouding his thoughts. “Joel,” you call out to him, as if that alone would make wonders. “Oh, fuck. Please, I waited a whole year. I need to come.”

A whole year. You were his once a year, and he was yours, a bittersweet ritual bound by time. He never would’ve thought this party could bring him such pleasure, though he can’t pretend he’s against it. Last time, he hadn’t taken the chance to pull you under and make you fall apart as many times as he’d wanted. He’s intent on making up for that missed opportunity, determined to make you enjoy every moment.

He withdraws his fingers abruptly, and a sharp laugh nearly escapes him at your reaction. You reach instinctively, grabbing for his hand, trying to guide him back to where he belongs between your legs. But he’s already moving, maneuvering you down until you’re lying on your back, fully under his command. He lowers himself, replacing his fingers with the warm insistence of his mouth. The sound that escapes your lips as his mouth presses against your center is nothing short of a scream—a wild cry that fills the space around you. He’s grateful he parked far from the other guests, because that sound would turn more than a few heads. 

Joel laps at your arousal as if it's the fountain of youth, the very essence of everything pure and precious in the world. He presses down on your thighs until they rest on either side of him, unclamping your legs from around his head. The suppleness of your skin feels divine under his fingertips, and he brushes his thumbs over your trembling form, coaxing you into calmness, to let him have his way with you at his own pace. It's an absurd paradox—aiming to soothe you while his mouth continues its fervent worship, tracing intricate patterns against your most sensitive flesh. His beard, streaked with gray and freshly trimmed, glistens with your slick, and Joel smolders with all-consuming passion.

When his friends had told him to go out more, maybe find someone to date, he's certain they didn't mean this. The smart choice (scratch that: the correct one) would have been to pursue a woman his own age. But fuck it—he's spent a lifetime doing what's right. Every road he might've taken would've led him here, to this moment, with you. Part of him believes he must still have something left, some spark of appeal. To have a pretty little thing like you, so eager, so willing, offering yourself to him? He has to have something. His knees ache from where he kneels on the unforgiving surface, but the burn is inconsequential, and he’ll endure anything to be what you need.

Joel trails his hand up your body, over the curve of your breast, before gently groping it, his palm covering yours in a shared grip. He runs the tip of his tongue along your folds, his saliva mingling with your wetness, aquiline nose grazing your sensitive bud. “You’re tellin’ me you’re this tight ‘cause you’ve been savin’ yourself for me? You do know what t’say t’make a man happy.” He spreads you open slowly, his gaze lingering on the way your cunt glistens, a sense of satisfaction rippling through him. You remain silent, your breath shallow. “Still with me, sugar?”

“It’s just that—I’m so close.” You bite back a moan, nails digging into the soft leather of the seat. Joel hums in response, his lips closing around your clit. Agitation flickers across your face as you try to grind your hips against his mouth. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

The pressure is gone as he notices your thighs quivering again, his movements halting immediately.

“No, Joel. Please—”

“You’ll come when I tell ya’.”

He’s having the time of his life. Damn right he is.

He suddenly realizes he's still dressed from head to toes, the heat building in his body becoming too much to ignore. With a frustrated grunt, he undoes his belt, yanking the metal zipper down, longing to rid himself of the constricting denim. A strangled noise escapes him as you suck on his neck, fisting his base, giving him a few purposeful tugs.

“Now, you’re gonna ride me,” he murmurs, making a pause to shrug his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor of the car, “and you’re gonna like it. Don’ want you t’hold back this time, understood?”

His back ends up against one of the fogged-up windows. The air is thick with the apparent scent of sex—a phrase he’d only ever heard in movies, but now, it’s undeniably real. Joel holds his cock, aligning the tip with your entrance as his lips crash against yours in a hungry kiss. A deep groan escapes him, vibrating over your mouth, nipping at your lower lip. The sensation intensifies when your wet interior welcomes him, velvet walls molding to his size. Your brows scrunch together at the stretch, a choked whimper catching in your throat. As your hips sink fully, your ass flush against his thighs, your body clenches around him, that abrupt tightness drawing a stuttering gasp from him.

“For God’s sake,” he exhales, the words rough as his forehead bumps into yours. His hand splays over your ribcage, fingers curling slightly. “Sweetheart, you’re—killin’ me here.”

“I can feel you everywhere,” you huff, your arms looping around his neck to pull him closer, holding your breath. He takes the moment to capture your nipple between his swollen lips, leaving a shiny trail of spit in his wake. You lift yourself, the motion teasing, before sinking back down onto his lap, taking him in fully. “Can feel you in my stomach.”

When you begin to move, Joel loses track of everything else. Time seems to stretch, bending and reshaping itself each time his tip finds some hidden place inside you. He’s fifty-six years old, yet in this moment, his soul feels infinite. Invincible. He brings his hand to your lips, thumb grazing over them before slipping inside. Your warm tongue envelopes it, and when you start to suck dutifully, muffling your moans, his body jerks in response. His eyes drift to your glistening chest, where a sheen of sweat makes your skin glow in the dim light. You’re the most captivating woman he’s ever seen, and he knows he’ll never look at anyone the same again. He can’t tear his gaze away, mesmerized by the way your body merges with his, the way you undulate your hips on top of him.

You move back and forth, and he drives into you, filling you to the brim with every calculated thrust. He thrusts upward, stealing the air from your lungs, the sharp motion making you sputter as your body struggles to keep up with his.

“That’s it.” His voice is a husky growl as he wraps his arms tightly around your back, your chests sticking together with sweat. His pace quickens, the rhythm becoming more insistent. “Takin’ it like a good girl. You feel exquisite, baby. Makin’ me lose my fuckin’ mind.”

“So big inside me,” you pant, your own pace faltering as you surrender to Joel’s unforgiving tempo. His hooded eyes flicker to yours, catching the way your pupils have swallowed up your irises, dark and blown wide with desire. A shiver runs through him as your fingers dig into his shoulders, your grip leaving faint crescents in his skin. “Missed your cock so much, Mr. Miller.”

Fuck, not that shit. If it’s possible, he grows impossibly harder. He pounds into you with renewed intensity this time, his singular goal to leave you speechless, boneless, completely undone. He wants you limp and shuddering, with nothing left to give. “Enough of that.” His hands find their place on the soft globes of your ass, molding and squeezing until the pressure has you mewling, the sweet sound shooting straight through him. His lips ghost over the shell of your ear. “Responsive everywhere, honey. Have any idea how much fun I’m gonna have with ya’?”

Who would’ve believed him back then? It proves this isn’t some once-in-a-lifetime fluke. It happened before, and now it’s happening again. He might as well surrender to it—accept his fate and move through the motions like a man resigned to what’s already written.

There’s a moment when your moans sharpen, turning high-pitched and dazed, and the way you constrict him sends his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, a guttural noise tearing from his chest. His movements still, clutching your waist to pin you in place, denying you the chance to move, to bounce on him.

Then you break. A sob wracks your body, tears spilling over and tracing hot paths down your cheeks. They gather, fusing together as they slide along your throat and pool in the hollow of your jaw before disappearing lower. “Asshole,” you hiss, the word fragile as you push your face into the curve of his neck, seeking refuge in his embrace.

“Sorry? Couldn’t catch that.” He makes sure to keep you securely tucked under his chin, tilting his lower half upward. “If you want me t’stop, just say the world and I will.”

He’s messing with you, plain and simple. He doesn’t actually expect you to take his words at face value. But you do, grinding down harder, impaling yourself further on the length of his cock, and your arousal trickles down, slicking the coarse hair of his thighs.  “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me.” Slotting your mouth over his, you attempt to move, chasing any sort of friction against your clit. Sadly, pleasure doesn’t come on its own—it’s Joel who can make you feel good, and he’s not obliging. His hand seizes your hair in a rough grasp, tugging sharply. Eyes fluttering shut, you hunch forward, submitting to the sharp edge of his control.

“What an impatient little thing y’are.” Joel grabs your thighs and turns you over, your back pressed against the leather seat. The brusque shift pulls him out of you, the cool air a cruel tease before he taps his head against your swollen folds, then fills you again in one powerful thrust, kissing your cervix in the process. A deep moan rips from your lungs, deep and guttural, as your legs tremble uncontrollably on either side of him. Your ankles dig into his back, fervent to keep him close. His balls rest heavy against your skin, full and aching for release. “Gonna give ya’ what y’want, okay? You’ve been on your best behavior,” he mumbles with his lips stuck to your forehead. “That’s a good girl. Think she deserves to come after all.”

Only then does he find his rhythm again, ramming into your drooling hole. For the third time tonight, he’s captivated by how you teeter on the edge of overwhelming pleasure. He has you eating out of his hand, taking all that he offers, and you do so willingly. He knows he could ask you for anything, and in exchange for an orgasm coaxed by him, you'd comply without thinking twice. In many ways, he’s not so different. He gathers some of your saliva, using it to moisten his fingers before slipping them between your bodies, rubbing your clit as he continues to hit your bundle of nerves. Where his stamina comes from, he has no clue, though he’s determined to keep pushing.

Your face becomes a living poem, each cry of yours adding to its verse. Your head nearly reaches the door, but he cradles it with his arm, ensuring you don’t hurt yourself. “Close,” you whine, struggling to keep your eyes from falling shut. “Joel, please. Let me—”

“Give it to me, darlin’.” Another thrust, another moan. “Drench me, c’mon. That’s what y’want, isn’t it? To come all over this cock?”

The way he’s worked you up has its rewards, leading to a release that feels like an eruption. You bite down on his shoulder, your cries growing louder, chanting his name without pause. It loses all meaning after being chanted so many times, but the way you say it still has an undeniable weight. He doesn’t mind it one bit, not when he’s finishing right after you plead him to fill you. His jaw hangs open as ropes of his seed spill inside you, and he sags against your frame, giving short thrusts to push his cum deeper into your warmth, your pussy milking him dry.

“Oh, God…” he groans, fumbling with one of your breasts, holding onto something for dear life. “Jesus Christ.” 

“Don’t pull out yet,” you say, grinning when you feel him twitch. “Stay a little longer.”

Too personal. Too intimate—dangerous in his books. Normally, he'd tuck himself back into his briefs, drive the woman he’s slept with home, and that would be the end of it. No happy endings in his story. So he’s surprised when he supports his weight on his forearms, claiming your lips in a voracious encounter of tongues and teeth. He caresses your cheek, tilting your face to deepen the kiss, and you sigh contentedly.

The two of you lapse into a heavy silence after that. He clears his throat, and says: “I should’ve asked you for your number that one time.” In the heat of the act, he’s being too honest. Regret will come knocking on his door once his excitement fades. His eyes bore into yours, dubious. “M’sorry for that.”

“Well, you could ask me for it now,” you admit from beneath him, and Joel pulls away for a moment, trying to gauge if you’re serious. He doesn’t think you’re joking. “To make up for lost time.”

This must be the onset of something else. He can't quite put it into words, but he feels it in his chest, in every place where your skin merges with his. He's no fortune teller, and there's no way for him to know where this path will take him, whether it leads to ruin or salvation. Though in this moment, he doesn't care—not now, at least.

At last, Joel blindly reaches for the pocket of his jeans with one arm. “How long are you stayin’ in Austin?”

dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you!!! <3

[julieloves074]

It's you (Min Ho x reader)

Summary: Min Ho and Y/n are reunited in the second semester at K.I.S.S with their sarcastic, bullying friendship, but the drama get a little out of hand at the Moon's cabin, will the sparks that fly settle or burn Y/n up?

Warnings: Kissing, poor relationship with parents, underage drinking

Words: 4.1K

(Not my GIF :))

Being back at K.I.S.S for our second semester was thrilling, even just stepping out the car brings back a rush of memories and hope for this term. Kitty says she’s going 2.0 this semester and focusing but I think we both know she’ll lying to herself, Q and I made a bet on how long she lasts.

“I’ll give her a week,” I told him wanting to give the girl at least some belief.

Q pulled a face that screamed you’re joking right? And said ‘I give her till the end of tomorrow’.

Yuri was kind enough to invite out whole group to a reunion dinner tonight at our favorite barbeque restaurant, all on her, whilst the rest of us was excited Kitty was still stressing in our joint room about getting out of our living situation. Thankfully some music was able to calm her down for a second.

That was until Min Ho’s favourite song came on, and she turned to me with her mouth and eyes wide open in some sort of realisation. “Are you and Min Ho actually going to your lives together this semester?”.

I threw one of pillow at her, “Hey!” she exclaimed turning to me with smudged mascara on her cheek.

“Not this again,” I say rolling my eyes.

“I’m just saying I’m rarely wrong,” her voice goes a few octaves higher.

I turn back to my mirror, “You know I can’t stand how highly he thinks of himself, plus even I did he’s a player Kitty, I don’t put myself in situations where I’m likely to get hurt,” I explain.

“Yeah whatever live a little!” she threw the pillow back at me, which quickly turned into a pillow fight and bunch of laughter, until a knock on the door informed us we had to leave if we didn’t want to be late.

 The four of us girls walked towards the busy town to the restaurant, and he’s the first person that I spot in the crowd amongst our friends. Yuri shouts out a hello and the group turns around. His eyes meet mine, the same sneaky glimmer sits in his eyes, mouth in its signature half smirk.

I can feel Kitty’s eyes on me, and she gives me a slight push, I move my feet quickly hoping that no one saw that. I turn around and give her a quick death glare.

“Hello, y/l/n” his voice is all too familiar, I turn to meet his eyes once again, his hands are in his jacket pocket, and I note down that I would not mind stealing it from him.

“Min Ho,” I say back keeping it cool.

“Christmas break does not feel like a long enough break from you,” he says with a smile.

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” I say back in a monotone voice.

“Now you’re complementing me? What have you done to y/l/n?” he questions grabbing my jacket sleeving and waving it around in an inspection, I roll my eyes at him and he lets my arm fall, “I heard about the living situation,” he changes the subjective with a gesturing nod to the restaurant as all our friends were walking in.

I let out a sigh and push some of my hair out my face, “Yeah, it’s a weird one, Kitty is super freaked out,” I say.

“I don’t blame her, living with someone you like and their partner sounds like personal hell,” he says with a distaste in his voice.

“Very helpful observation from you Min Ho,” I say deadpanning.

He puts a hand to his chest, “You’re so welcome,”.

“Aw and to think I almost missed this sarcasm of yours,” I say back turning my gaze away from his to the busy street.

Min Ho’s eyes crinkle in the corners “You did miss me,” he said as I stepped towards the restaurant, but I stopped before I could take another.

He circled around to step in front of me again, my brows burrowed, and I let out a nervous chuckle, “what did you say?” I asked trying to play dumb. Of course I missed him, I’m not sure how exactly our friendship could be described but our little digs were something I looked forward to, I enjoyed the challenge, the satisfaction that came from leaving him without a comeback.

I waited as he lowered towards my ear, his long eyelashes lifting as he observed something behind me, “You smiled when I said that”, I could feel the absence of his breath as he pulled away.  He was walking through to the table as I let out a composing breath and followed.

Kitty saved me a seat beside her, she wiggled her brows at me when I sit down, Min Ho was talking to Q and Dae looking at the menu.

“So?” she asked eagerly turning directly towards me.

“What?” I ask laying my purse down and grabbing a menu.

The brunette pulled it right out of my hands, “You know exactly what you’re going to order,” she says which is true, I get the same thing every time, why change something that works? “The tensions still there?” her mouth is a grin.

“It’s not tension,” I tell her for the hundredth since we started at K.I.S.S “we just don’t like each other,” I say pulling the menu back out her hand. I loved that Kitty was basically a radio tower for spotting who likes who, but not when it came to me, I didn’t like Min Ho like that and he definitely doesn’t like me like that, he was all over Maddison last semester.

“Whatever you want to tell yourself, “She murmured standing up to talk to the guys, Min Ho looks over to me momentarily as Kitty approaches them but then gets back into the conversation.

<3 <3 <3

Being able to spend the weekend at Min Ho’s cabin was amazing but waking up this morning to being basically snowed in was not a pleasant surprise, skiing was a no go, and it’s not like there was anything else near us. Everyone spent the morning playing card games or reading or trying to find something to entertain themselves because the internet was out.

It was fine until it hit five in the afternoon and even the team competition games were not feeling as empowering. Most everyone was feeling restless, that was until Q came up with what everyone seemed to think was a good idea, apart from Min Ho and me but I couldn’t pick his side.

“Oh come on we’re stuck on the property anyway!” Q pleaded in a whiny tone holding his hands together in support Dae gave a put his hands on his face and gave a cute smile. Min Ho half rolled his eyes and looked at all the faces in the room.

Dropping his hands with a sigh he agreed, and the room erupted into cheers, “But if you guys break anything I swear-” he started but was cut off as the chatter started. Maddison suggested we should divide up tasks, set up a small buffet, get alcohol and get dressed up.

Everyone separated the tasks between them, but my eyes kept shifting towards Min Ho, he looked distant, he was never usually against a party. He said he’d sort the alcohol and walked out the room, I looked around at everyone dispersing again then followed him.

We were heading towards his dad’s office, where Q had secretly snuck Jin in last night, thankfully the guys made up with him earlier or this day could have been very awkward, though it did seem like he gave them a rather tough time when they were younger and what he did to Q was not forgiven.

“Are you okay?” I ask after closing the door behind us, he didn’t turn, if he knew I was following him it didn’t show.

“Yep, I’m thinking the alcohol can be his payment for ditching me once again,” he says nonchalantly taking a key out of a draw and unlocking a tall cabinet, there on the bottom shelf laid what must have been about 30 different bottles.

I step closer and lean against the wall watching him pick up the bottles, read the label, leave some out and those that didn’t appease him went back in.

“Min Ho,” I said, my voice more tender than I intended, the playfulness was gone, “Can you look at me for a second?” I asked, for a moment he stopped moving altogether, before letting his shoulder fall and rising up to stand in front of me.

His expression was of that as always, but his eyes redder like a tear could appear any moment, “I can’t exactly say I’m surprised,” he shrugged and watched me waiting. A sadness settled over the room. I took a step towards him and just opened my arms, momentarily he was stood still, then he leaned down and wrapped his hands around my middle as mine went to the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry Min Ho,” I said, he didn’t let go, “You deserve better than this,” I said and pulled him closer, running my hand over his nape. As we stood there it felt as though a piece of my own heart was breaking, I could feel my throat getting drier, I shut my eyes tight.

I’m not sure if we were stood there for a minute or five but when he pulled away slightly, we looked at each other and for the first time I felt as though I saw him, really saw all of him.

“Whilst you’re here any preference?” he breaks out of the bubble and goes back to the stash as if nothing happened; I pull myself back together and kneel down next to him to look at options we have.

When we brought everything up Q looked directly at me, Min Ho placed the bottles on the table and rushed towards his room. I placed the ones I carried, and Q came right over, taking off the little apron he found leaving Julianna and Dae in the kitchen.

“How is he?” Q asks, and I lift my gaze from the table, the concern in his eyes mirrored that in mine.

I let out a sigh and shrugged my shoulders before replying in a hushed tone so they couldn’t hear in the kitchen, “He’s Min Ho, you know how he is, won’t say a thing,” I conveyed. Q nods knowing this would have likely been the case.

“He’ll come around when he needs to talk, for now it’s important we’re just here for him,” he said I agreed. When Dae announced they were done in the kitchen the four of us headed to get ready. Yuri laid her arm around my shoulder in a side hug as we walked to the room.

Yuri and I were the last to get ready the others were mostly done, the girls were playing music in the room, putting finishing touches to their makeup. None of us brought anything extremely fancy, but just enough.

The atmosphere in the house was much uplifted as everyone started having drinks and nibbling on the snacks. When Min Ho walked in and I couldn’t look away, he wore black trousers and a white sweater, his mood was too seemingly improved, he sent a smile my way.

Everyone was talking and dancing on the makeshift dancefloor, the table was pulled to the side, the drinks we’re going down as quickly for me as some others. Q and Jin were the sober ones as they both said that athletes don’t drink so at least I wasn’t the only one, though I was getting to the warm side of tipsy.

Coming back from the bathroom I spotted Dae and Eunice making out in the doorframe of one of the rooms and couldn’t help but smile, I was glad he was able to find someone who made him happy after how things ended with Kitty, especially since he wasn’t really over her at the start of this semester.

“Let’s do truth or dare!” Maddison announced after another shot as I made back into the room, a mixture of responses was heard but the red head quickly shot them all down, “Don’t all be babies, this is prime time to get to know everyone’s secrets,” she exclaimed falling back onto one of the sofas.

Everyone gathered around taking seats with their drinks.

“Okay I’ll start,” she said excitedly looking around at everyone as if they were her prey, “Okay, Julliana truth or dare?”

“Truth,”

“What is your favourite thing about Yuri?”

Julianna smiled at the question, resting her glass against her lips as she thought, “There’s just so many,” she laughed, Yuri looking at her expectantly, “The fact that she’s so unapologetically herself,” she said, and Yuri pulled her close and pressed their lips together. My eyes shot directly to Kitty who was looking everyone but at the couple.

“Okay, okay my turn,” Yuri said turning back to the crowd, “Q, truth or dare?”

“I’ll do a truth,”

“Who’s the best kisser you’ve ever kissed?” Q blushes and looks at Jin, his eyes shyly meeting his.

“Jin,” a series of aws and ews came out from everyone.

“Okay so, my queen of Choas,” Q started but Kitty threw him an exaggerated look of shock, “In retirement of course,” he finished lifting his hands in defence, if only he knew what Kitty had done before we left for this trip, “truth or dare,”.

“Truth,” she replied.

“Do you miss living with us,” he asked, and Maddison let out a boo, not juicy enough for her, but Kitty gave him a thankful look.

“Eh I basically spend the same amount of time at your dorm, apart from the sleeping fact,” she laughed, and Q gave her a side hug.

“Okay for that boring question lets do a never have I have, so drink if you have” the red head announced and looked towards Eunice.

The other girl furrowed her brows and made eye contact with Dae, “Never have I ever had a not so innocent dream about someone in the room,” she said. I lifted my glass to my lips whilst watching who else did, pretty much everyone, including Min Ho, everyone broke into trying to guess who dreamt about who.

Jin perked up “Min Ho yours has to be that girl you kissed in that music video for your dad this summer, surely,” but Min Ho only brushed him off.

Kitty quickly ceased control of the room “Okay, y/n truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I say not wanting to pick either really.

Madisson huffed, “Come on you guys let’s stop being boring!”, everyone else seemed to agree with her, convenient that she didn’t complain about that earlier.

“Dare,” I say giving in, and look back at Kitty with that mischievous glint in her eyes and am fully regretting my decision to give into peer pressure.

She smiled and proclaimed, “I dare you to kiss the person you find most attractive in the room,”.

Everyone’s eyes shot to me and an excited murmur started, I’m unable to take my eyes off my best friend, I knew she probably wanted to do good, but this was actually my worst nightmare.

“Kitty come on,” I try but no one jumps up to my defence. I look to Yuri and Q for some help but they both look like they want to see this play out.

Then Madisson’s new roommate Stella got out of her seat, she was always so quiet so all eyes shoot to her, “If you won’t do it I will,” she said with a new surge of confidence. Everyone looked confused, she made her way across the room to the wall on which Min Ho was leaning against.

His eyes scanned her face and a sick feeling started rising in my stomach, we are just good friends, maybe it was the alcohol not mixing well in my stomach. It’s not until her lips are about to touch his that I get up and rush out the room, saying I needed some fresh air.

Kitty tried to come after me, telling me its going to be fine that Stella had no chance against me and what not, but I just turned around and something in me exploded “How about you focus on your own love life Kitty, you need to tell Julianna the about what happened,” I whisper shouted.

Kitty’s face crumbled and she looked so hurt.

“Tell me what?” Julianna’s voice questioned as she appeared in the hallway.

Kitty and I turned to see her looking our way and Yuri standing beside her, Julianna looked between the two and a realization seemed to have struck her. Kitty tried to say something, to explain and I just walked away feeling even worse.

All of us had out swimsuits under our clothes cause we we’re going to end the night in the hot tub, so I headed out there now. Sitting warm water trying to keep my tears in check I could avoid the feeling of dread that I left in the house, still a few slipping gently down my face.

“Y/n,” a voice approached but I didn’t turn to him, I couldn’t, I just embarrassed myself and left Kitty to fend for herself, “come on,” he said sitting down on the side of the tub.

“I’m a terrible person,” I say simply, my whole body slumping into the hot water of the hot tub, being submerged made me feel numb.

“Can you come out so we can talk?”

“Nope, I’m going to sit in here until the water sucks me up whole and I disappear,” I admit and join my hands nervously under the water.

He sighted slightly and I could see him shuffling in the corner of my eye.

“If you won’t come out I’ll come in,”

“You really don’t have to,” I argue but he doesn’t listen, he steps in and settles in the water next to me.

“You’re not a terrible person,” he says and I turn to look at him momentarily.

“I got Kitty into shit with Julianna, I’m arguing with my parents over the most stupid thing, and I just keep ruining things for myself because I keep getting so anxious- I am like the worst,” I express looking out into the distance of the dark sky.

I feel him shuffle left to me, “come here,” he whispers and he pulls me into a hug, he’s warmer than the water, “The thing about Kitty was bound to come out at some point, and to be honest the longer it took the worse the outcome would have been,” he said brushing a hand down my hair.

I pull away slightly, “They broke up haven’t they?” I asked, his eyes softened, and he nodded, “and Kitty isn’t speaking to anyone?” I ask.

“Q went to sit with her, she won’t be angry at you forever, you guys will talk it out,” he reassured me.

I let out a half-defeated chuckle, “Who would have thought you could be somewhat wise,” I teased wiping a tear from under my eye.

“I am wise you’re just blind to genius,” he pulls one of his resting bitch faces and looks towards me with one brow raised and I actually let out a laugh.

“There she is,” he says and I can feel a smile spread across my lips, “So,” he says leaning on his arm to look at me, “who were you going to kiss?” he asked, his voice a whisper even though we were both alone out here.

I can feel the blush creep up the back of my neck and cheeks and hope that it’s too dark for him to see. The silene is peaceful and I could stay out here all night, with the mixture of fresh air and the hot water.

“Does it matter?” I ask turning towards him, I hadn’t realised how close he was sitting to me, I could feel my heartrate multiplying.

He smiles and shrugged, “I need more material for making fun of you,” he said but there was no harshness or mal intent behind it, an actual smile made its way onto my way and I shook my head, “Oh it was totally me,” and so the cockiness was back.

“Oh you wish,” I say with a challenge, the corner of his lips upturn, but my gaze falls down and my teeth sink into my bottom lip, “how was your kiss with Stella, I hear she’s been crushing on you,” I say with a sad echo of playfulness.

He shifted closer to me, “I didn’t kiss Stella,” he says, leaning his head against his fist, I watch his face waiting, “I told her there is only one person I want to kiss, and it’s not her,”.

His eyes flutter down to my lips, I can’t help but take in a breath and search his face.

“Who is it then?” I ask, so quietly you could almost miss it.

“It’s you, silly,” he says as if he were explaining it to a five-year-old.

The silence returned.

“Y/l/n”

I turned to face him again, his hand came up to move my hair behind my ear.

“Min Ho,” I say in tone that came out as a mix of a warning but also desire that was bubbling too close to the surface, we were crossing dangerous grounds here and there would be no going back.

His eyes went to my lips and mine to his. Then he was leaning in, I closed my eyes and let it happen. His lips against mine was much better than my imagine could ever do it justice, it was slow kiss, then another, and one more before he pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against mine.  

“I’ve been waiting a long while to do that,” he says and the strain in his tone brings out something in me. I put my arms around his hand and pull him onto another kiss, this one deeper, his arms found my waist and he pulls me closer and closer until I’m sitting on his lip.

“Better than you could have imaged, I know,” he says after he pulls away and laugh, moving my hand to splash him with water.

“I hate that Kitty was right. Again,” I say.

Min Ho runs a hand through his hair, “This is the only time I’m not mad that that girl is right,” he states.

Eventually we left the hot tub and made our way back inside, most people have dispersed to different rooms, the atmosphere definitely ruined. Kitty was sat crossed legged on the sofa staring at her phone as we walked in, Min Ho gave me a smile and pointed his head in her direction.

“Kitty,” I said nervously.

Her eyes shot directly to me, her eyes also red, she dropped her phone and rushed over to me pulling me into a hug, I squeezed her tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, “I shouldn’t have said anything- it wasn’t my place-” I started to say rapidly btu Kitty interrupted me

“I’m also sorry, I’ve been so caught up in all this drama I didn’t even know you were fighting with your parents, and it’s good it got out now, it would have been so much more hurtful for everyone the longer it was kept quiet.

“I love you girl,” I said, tears building up in my eyes.

She giggled “I love you more,” she said pulling away, “and now I want to hear every detail about what just happened in that hot tub!” she squealed pulling to me to the sofa and pointing out the window a clear view of the tub, I hid my face behind me hands, “Looks like Kitty the matchmaker was right again,” she said proudly.

It was a relief that Kitty was able to forgive me, we spoke a little about Min Ho aware that he could be lurking around anywhere, then we talked about my fall out with my parents, and I dropped them a text saying we should talk when they wake up. Before we knew it was well past one in the morning and we agreed it was time for bed.

I paused in front of Min Ho’s door questioning whether to knock and say goodnight or if that was too weird.

“You go girl!” Kitty whisper cheered walking towards the room we slept in last night.

I took a deep breath in preparation and knocked, “Come in,” the voice on the other side said and so the rest of the night was spent talking and cuddling, maybe this trip wasn’t a total disaster after all.                                                                                  

[zhelin-thames]

A Second Mystery Texter

Masterpost

Jason was sprawled on the couch in his safe house, phone in hand, casually texting Danny. Their conversations had become oddly entertaining for Jason, who enjoyed poking fun at the kid’s dramatic descriptions of ghostly chaos and the soap opera-worthy antics of this “Plasmius” guy.

Jason: So let me get this straight. This guy tried to clone you... and the clone ended up being a teenage girl who sees herself as your sister?

Danny: Yup. That’s Dani with an “i.” She’s great, though. Way less annoying than Plasmius.

Jason: Your life is so weird, kid. And this is coming from someone who’s been dunked in a Lazarus Pit.

Danny: Tell me about it. At least you don’t have to deal with green glowing homework.

Jason chuckled at Danny’s response, completely unaware that Tim had entered the room and was now leaning over his shoulder, curious about the smirk on Jason’s face.

“Who are you texting?” Tim asked, startling Jason.

Jason locked his phone and glared at his younger brother. “None of your business.”

“Come on,” Tim said, plopping down on the armrest. “You’re actually smiling. That’s rare. Who’s the unlucky person stuck dealing with you?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Just a kid who texted me by mistake. He’s dealing with some ghostly billionaire nonsense, and it’s hilarious.”

Tim’s interest was immediately piqued. “Ghostly billionaire nonsense? That doesn’t sound like your usual crowd. Let me see.”

Jason pulled his phone away. “No.”

Tim smirked. “Fine. I’ll figure it out myself.”

Jason sighed, knowing Tim wouldn’t let it go. Sure enough, an hour later, Tim’s phone buzzed with a new number.

Tim: Hi, is this Danny?

Danny squinted at the unfamiliar number.

Danny: Who’s asking?

Tim: I’m a friend of Jason’s. He mentioned your situation, and I got curious. I’m Tim.

Danny groaned. Great, another Bat-person.

Danny: Okay, hi, Tim. Why are you texting me?

Tim: I heard you’re dealing with some supernatural problems, and I wanted to help. Or at least get more details. Jason’s not exactly a reliable narrator.

Danny sighed, already regretting this.

Danny: Supernatural stuff is my thing. I’ve got it handled.

Tim: Sure, but you could always use a second opinion, right? I’m great with tech, research, and problem-solving. Plus, I’ve seen some weird stuff myself.

Danny hesitated. He wasn’t used to people offering help, and he didn’t know if he wanted another vigilante involved in his life.

Danny: Fine. What do you want to know?

Tim grinned as he began typing.

Over the next few days, Danny found himself juggling texts from both Jason and Tim. Jason was the sarcastic big-brother type, constantly making jokes about Danny’s weird life, while Tim bombarded him with questions about ghost science, ectoplasm, and portals.

One night, as Danny lay in bed, his phone buzzed again.

Tim: Quick question: Have you ever dealt with a ghost that manipulated tech?

Danny: Yeah. Why?

Tim: Just wondering. If one showed up in Gotham, what would you recommend?

Danny frowned, sitting up.

Danny: Wait. Is there a ghost in Gotham right now?

Jason: Tim, what the hell are you doing?

Tim: Expanding our resources. Danny’s clearly experienced.

Danny: Guys, what’s going on?!

Jason sighed, grabbing his phone.

Jason: Don’t worry, kid. If anything shows up here, we’ll handle it.

Danny: Yeah, no. If it’s ghost stuff, you call me. Don’t mess with things you don’t understand.

Tim: Good to know. Can I ask about your portal tech next?

Danny groaned. This was going to be a long friendship.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations~ 48

Venus square Pluto men tend to have a really weird relationship with women. Can have a big love-hate relationship when it comes to women. I’ve seen these men treat their guy friends with more respect than their partners

Leo sun x Pisces sun mix in friendship is so underrated. They really match eachothers creativity & can inspire eachother a lot art wise

Jupiter in the 1st house makes someone very jolly naturally. Even if they are in a bad mood it rarely shows. Can also make someone pretty tall in a lot of cases (not all)

Cap risings can have very visible bones. Could’ve been told by others to “eat a sandwich “

You can feel more likely to create art or sing when the moon transit is in Pisces (even if you’re not the type to want to do that stuff on the regular).

Venus in the 8th house natives are very into hookup culture. Gets into a lot of unconventional relationships. Not really the types that wanna be “wifed up” I’ve noticed. They just here for a good time fr.

Pisces sun Aries moons are great manifestors (especially with an earth rising to stabilize the energy) with a cap rising for example I can imagine these people to be unstoppable when they have a goal.

Mars in Taurus’s usually prefer slower sex to fast sex. (Unless it’s in the 8th house) they are super sensual and want to enjoy every pleasure to the max. Going too fast can piss them off/leave them unsatisfied.

Venus in 2nd house synastry can have very long make out sessions together. Even if you aren’t comfortable with kissing this aspect will make you want to kiss them for HOURS.

Saturn in the 8th house people on the other hand kinda lack sensuality a lot of the time. They can skip foreplay and go straight to the act. Very “cold” sexual experiences.

Juno in the 1st house people are the best people to marry. Can attract some pretty selfish partners tho unfortunately:(

When a Gemini Venus has a crush on someone it’s like painfully obvious. Everyone usually already knows.

Jupiter in the 8th gives big 🍆 energy

Uranus in the 5th house are rarely ever fully single. The types to go on a lot of dates or dates someone outta nowhere or unexpectedly

Saturn in the 5th house have a natural awkwardness around their crushes

Venus in Libras pull game is so strong, they have so many admirers & ppl who have crushes on them

Having a Venus in retrograde in a detriment sign (Aries/scorpio) can make you come off as really rude to others or super vain

I also notice if not severely afflicted Venus in retrograde natives actually have a higher chance of marrying their soulmates than direct Venus natives

Taurus moons either have very a sloppy basic asf sense of fashion or its super chic & creative as hell no in between.

Lilith dominant women are usually treated like shit by other women a lot. Men can see them as someone they just wanna hook up with. It’s actually really sad what these people go thru.

Most fucked up friendship award goes to Pluto in the 11th house folks. Friends could’ve been really jealous of you or your relationship with other friends. Ur friends could also lack extreme boundaries with you and almost act more like a toxic partner. Friends get super obsessed & possessive of you!

Sun in the 9th house people have a gift usually for learning new languages. Could be the types to speak multiple languages.

Pisces mars can be super lazy. Could be the types to ask you to grab the the remote when it’s right next to them

Jupiter in the 4th house prevents you from being homeless. Regardless of your income you always tend to find a really spacious cute home.

People with a 10th house stellium are more likely to “fall in love” with their career. They are also really love $$.

Sun in the (1st, 5th & 11th) house people usually thrive in big social settings.

Sun in the 2nd house could be the breadwinners of the family. Could’ve been the first to break a poverty generational curse. Usually seen as the ones who “made it out the hood” iyk what I mean.

Venus in 2nd house natives face cards are LETHAL

[chaosartic]

Throw away the caution! | LN4

word count: roughly 2k

warnings: overprotective brother Max Fewtrell, mutual pinning (a bit), Oscar is confused most of the time, bad writing (yes it requires a warning)

summary: Lando (annoyingly) has a crush on non other than his best friends younger sister, Y/n Fewtrell. It was his well kept secret. Why? Because he knows how overprotective Max is of you. What happens when Carlos and Oscar find out about it? Will a drunken night out celebrating a race weekend change their relationship?

a/n: Originally this was supposed to be a one shot but I’m turning this into a mini series. They’re probably going to be three parts. Please note that english is not my first language, I’m sorry for any mistakes in advance.

Lando and Max have been through a lot together as long as both of them can remember. And for just as long Lando has known y/n, Max slightly younger sister. What started as a harmless friendship slowly turned into something more, at least in Landos eyes.

It wasn’t until he was a teenager that he admitted his feelings to himself. He kept them hidden and a secret from everyone. At first he thought that they’re just temporary. The girl he used to climb trees with and joke around for hours grew into a beautiful young lady after all. But the feelings only grew stronger.

Lando was well into his twenties when he talked to someone about his crush, it was no other than his friend and ex teammate, Carlos Sainz. At first he tried to talk Lando into admitting his feelings to you but that was without success. Carlos tried to figure out if the feelings are both sided but he simply didn’t see the Fewtrell siblings enough for that.

He was the silent emotional support through everything after that, trying to get them together alone as much as possible without Max noticing. After all, Carlos didn't know how he would react to the news of his childhood friend loving his younger sister. There were a few close calls in the past but as far as anyone was concerned neither Max nor y/n knew about Landos feelings.

If anyone would ask him why he doesn’t confess his answer would probably be along the lines of wanting to concentrate on his career first. In truth he was scared of your rejection and your brother's disappointment. He and Max are friends after all and it might feel like some sort of betrayal to the older Brit.

Lando was currently in London since he had to be back at the MTC for his pre-season training and meetings. He loved being in his home country even if that meant that winter break was over. It means that he gets to spend time with his friends. Like this evening for example.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You hate being late. It wasn't even your fault that a meeting with your boss ran over the scheduled time or that traffic today was worse than the past few days. You were meeting up with your brother, childhood friend and his teammate. And while Max assured you that your late arrival wouldn’t be a problem, anxiety and guilt still washed over you. You navigate your car without a problem down the familiar street to your brother's appartement. The night was cold but with a clear sky, a rare occurrence.

“You know you don’t have to get me anything when you come around.” Max greets you at the door as soon as he sees the flowers clutched in your hand. “Yeah yeah” you wave him off. The apartment was quiet, too quiet for the normal chaos that erupts when Lando and Max are together.

Max notices your confusion. “They got caught up with work stuff too. That’s why I told you not to worry.” He grabs the flowers ready to put them into an improvised vase while adding, “they should be here any minute though.”

“You could’ve added that little detail in your sentence,” you sternly joke with him. He pulls you into his arms mumbling something about next time he will. You missed this, the familiar feeling of being in your brother's arms. Work has been hell for you recently and you didn't get to spend much time with your family or friends. That’s why you didn't think twice about coming around tonight to spend a relaxing evening with your brother and an old friend of yours, Lando.

Before you could do anything else the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the McLaren drivers. “I’ve got it,” you said to Max before walking towards the door. When you opened it, you were a bit surprised when you saw only Oscar standing there. “Hey Oscar. Where is Lando?” you ask him after you let him into the flat. “Oh, he’s still parking the car or something,” Oscar said, “he’ll be here shortly.” You nodded your head at his explanation, softly closing the door behind him. You didn’t lock it though so Lando could get in easier.

Max came out of the kitchen to greet Oscar. While the two aren’t that close they still get along well, spending their evenings occasionally in bigger groups together. The Aussi was quickly accepted into the little group of you three after he joined Lando as his new teammate two years ago. You went back into the kitchen grabbing drinks for everyone while the boys already chatted about racing. The table was set, the ordered food waiting on the counter. There is only one thing missing now.

You still had a slightly anxious feeling that you couldn't shake off. Maybe it was because you would spend the evening in such close proximity to Lando. You haven’t said it to anyone out loud but you knew what the butterflies in your stomach meant. While you didn’t want to admit it to yourself just yet, you couldn’t hide it anymore. You were crushing hard and of course that person has to be your brother’s best friend.

“Hey mate”, Landos voice rans out through the apartment. He came into the kitchen with a wide smile, dimples showing on full display. He quickly pulled each of you into his arms as a greeting. His arms lingered around you for a bit longer, both of you silently enjoying the feeling. “Come on guys, the food is still warm.” Max called out while putting the boxes in the middle of the table. His voice was a bit rougher than usual, almost like he was hiding his emotions. You didn't notice it nor did Lando. Oscar however did notice it and for a millisecond a confused look crossed his face. It was gone before anyone could really notice it.

The four of you sat down at the table, a comfortable silence washing over the room. You sit next to your brother across from Lando. You noticed him looking at you a few times out of the corner of your eye. The butterflies in your stomach were running wild, but you hoped that it didn’t show. As much as you like the idea of being together with the Brit, you knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Not only because of his career but also because of your brother. You and Max were close and you know his overprotective sides when it comes to the topic of boys being around you. He was always a bit worried about them, maybe given the fact that he raced professionally. It didn't help that you know most of the formula one grid. He was scared of someone using you for your connections, he would not mention this fear though.

You aren't sure how Max would react to the news of you crushing on his best friend nor did you want to find out anytime soon. You talked about everything over dinner; racing, the upcoming season, video games and just what everybody did during the break. You remembered about a year ago when you were all sitting at the same table. Oscar was still new to the group and quite shy, but he opened up which was good to see.

“All right, how about we talk about something different than just racing,” you said. “Not everybody’s life depends on it.” You jokingly added, knowing that the boys love nothing more than to talk about it, especially when they were off for a few weeks. At some point the conversation shifts, now the talk was all about. testing and the upcoming season. “I have a question guys,” Lando suddenly said. His cheeks are a bit pink, unusually so. Your eyes looked over to Oscar slightly, he looked just as confused as you felt. It almost seems like Lando was shy about something perhaps not knowing what to do with the situation. “Do you have anything planned during the weekend when the season starts?” He finally blurted out after a longer pause.

“Not that I could think of,” you replied, looking at your brother. He also shook his head no. “Why do you ask?” “How about you come to watch it?” It was actually Oscar who voiced the question, his eyes always flickering up to you. It was almost like he was saving Lando from something, maybe embarrassment. “For sure,” Max answered quickly, not having to really think about it. The three men turn their heads to you waiting for your answer. “I’m not sure if I can get time off,” you said. “And also don’t exactly have the money for this trip.” You said shyly.

“Sweetheart, do you really think you have to pay?” Lando asked. You look at him shocked, did he really just say that? “I got it covered. Don’t worry about that.” He added quickly. Maybe it was your imagination, but he looked a bit embarrassed about saying it. Max looked at his best friend, confusion all over his features, shaking his head as if he was having a silent conversation with himself.

“Please y/n, it would mean the world for both of us,” Lando added, pointing at him and Oscar. He was almost begging at this point. You didn’t know why it was so important for him to have you there. A small part if you wanted to believe that it is because he also had a crush on you. But honestly those were unrealistic expectations. No, Lando could never have a crush on you. That’s for sure.

“Okay okay,” you gave in with a small smile. “I’ll see if I can get a few days off so I can join you in Australia,”you said. You see from the corner of your eyes that your brother has a sour look on his face again. An uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. ”Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m done.“ You try to ignore the look on Maxs face by changing the topic.You took both plates and put them into the dishwasher. You miss the way Oscar looks at both Max and Lando. Ever since this conversation started he has had a slightly confused look on his face, not that you noticed.

It was only a few days after that night when your request for the time off was accepted. That night you spend an hour or maybe two on FaceTime with Lando. He was back in Monaco preparing for the testing in Bahrain. It may have been a few days since that call but you can still see the way he smiled when you shared the news. It was one of the best things ever.

You already talked with Max about when you were leaving to Down Under. While you were more than excited to be in the paddock, see the race and talk to some of the drivers that you know, you couldn’t shake off this weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. It felt like this little trip would change everything but you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was because recently you and Lando have talked almost every night, intensifying your crush on the curly haired man. And even though you were nervous you couldn’t wait to see him in person again in Australia.

part 2

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I hope you enjoy it! Any feedback is appreciated!

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[radawaycunt]

Imperator

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 6.7k words

Summary: Once, you only had the memory of the curious barbarian poet, entertaining guests at a party with both violence and verse. But it's not until you see him again, now as emperor, that you get to know the man underneath the titles.

Warnings: Minors DNI this fic is 18+, power imbalance (emperor/servant to freedwoman), mutual pining, slow-ish burn, sort of forbidden love?, lots and lots of fluff good lord, some jealousy, some angst, lovey dovey smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), maybe some historical inaccuracies lol (I care a lot okay), and iii think that's it but lmk if anything else!

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"Love will enter cloaked in friendship's name."

– Ovid.

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“The gates of hell are open night and day. Smooth the descent, and easy is the way. But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies.”

That was the first time you had ever heard him speak, the deep timbre of his voice riddled with contempt. Moments before, he had killed another gladiator, his blood spattered on him like a gruesome adornment. But there was no savagery in his fierce eyes, no mere bloodthirst in the sneer directed at Emperor Geta, your Dominus. His glare was even, like a cold, blue flame that promised not just violence, but retribution as well.

You’d recognized the poem immediately, just as taken aback as everyone else. Nobody moved, the room’s collective breath held in anticipation of the inevitable repercussions of such an offense. Emperor Geta made the slightest move to raise his sword and you gripped the decanter of wine tighter, but your face remained impassive.

“Virgil,” supplied Macrinus, trying to placate him with a broad smile. “He was taught poetry just to amuse you, Imperators.”

There was another momentary pause in which neither twin was sure if they should believe him. But then, Caracalla snorted, standing up to clap the taller man’s shoulder.

“A poet,” He said, laughing. “That’s genius, Macrinus.”

“Yes, certainly very amusing,” Geta said begrudgingly, his jaw clenched. 

He and the gladiator had not stopped staring at each other for one moment, like two vipers poised to strike. 

“Good, I thought you’d like that,” Macrinus said, approaching his fighter to grasp his shoulder, perhaps in warning. “We live to serve you both.”

“Well, I look forward to seeing your poet at the upcoming games in the Colosseum,” he spits out, throwing the sword aside with a loud clatter. “Let’s see how his verses work for him then.”

Macrinus nodded at his steward to take the gladiator away. He was smiling, seemingly amused, as the steward approached him. As he was being shoved back to the atrium, his eyes took one last baleful look around the room. For the briefest second, you thought his eyes met yours, striking you like a piercing arrow, but then he was gone. 

You had no time to dwell on it though, as Emperor Geta returned to his seat and raised his glass to be refilled. But that didn’t mean you would forget so easily, even if your paths might never cross again. All you could do was offer a prayer to the Gods for him. 

—--------------------------

The next time you saw him, he was no longer a barbarian gladiator hailed from a distant land, but the new – and rightful – Emperor of Rome. His name was not Hanno, but Lucius Verus Aurelius, and he was the son of the recently passed Queen Lucilla, whom Rome still mourned. 

He was not cruel like the twins had been, rarely raising his voice, much less his hand. His demeanor was usually calm, but sometimes he stalked the halls restlessly, as if unsure what he should be doing. He still rose with the sun and trained for a couple of hours in the morning, already used to the routine he’d had as a gladiator, but after that, it was all politics. Endless scrolls of parchment to pore over, meetings to hold with the senate, and lending a patient ear to the populace’s needs. The weight of an empire was on his shoulders, and yet he didn’t bow under it. 

During the day, you served his wine and silently hovered around for anything else he might need. At night, you drew his baths, kept his torches lit, and prepared his bed. You would have helped him disrobe too, already used to it from your days of serving Geta, but he chose to do so himself. He was not quite used to his every need being attended to, self-sufficiency deeply ingrained in his being. Mostly, he waved away other servants, leaving you instead to care for him personally. 

There were times when you caught him looking at you as if you seemed vaguely familiar, a furrow in his brow when he couldn’t place you. You couldn’t fault him for not remembering you from Senator Thraex’s party, but there was a certain thrill at having piqued his curiosity regardless. Still, you kept your head down and offered no hints, as was your place. 

Until one night, while he watched you add aromatic oils and test the bath’s temperature, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind for days.

“What is your name?”

You were startled at first, not having expected him to address you at all. You told him your given Roman name, Domicia, and bowed your head respectfully. He pushed himself off the doorway and stepped into the bathroom, humming thoughtfully.

“Of the home,” he said, referring to the name’s meaning. “Are you Roman? Is that your real name?”

You shook your head in answer to both questions. “I have been in Rome for many years now, though.”

“I have not,” he said, a note of melancholy in his voice. “Yet I grew up here, in these very halls…”

He trailed off, looking around absently, lost in his memories. You could not begin to imagine what he had been through, what he had seen. You had heard of his being sent away as a child, with absolutely no choice in the matter, and could empathize with him. 

All you had ever known was a humble life in your native country, until you were stripped of your freedom and brought to the capital of Rome. Neither place felt like home, just the past and the present, and perhaps he was viewing things the same way. You could imagine, even understand, the bittersweetness of returning to a place one thought they might never see again. 

“We are honored and grateful to have you back, Dominus,” you said. “I hope things have been to your satisfaction.”

“I have no complaints,” he said, yet he sighed. “Though becoming accustomed to being here, in my current position, is going to take some more time.”

“If there is anything I can do to make it easier for you, please let me know.”

He inclined his head gratefully, your eyes meeting for a moment. “Thank you, Domicia.”

He had the barest of smiles on his handsome face, but you could tell it was genuine. You felt one corner of your lips tugging upwards, but you looked away out of propriety. Even if you were in the same room, you were leagues apart, and it would do you no good to try to imagine otherwise.

You stood up, grabbing the decanter from a nearby table to have it refilled. “Your bath is ready now. Would you like refreshments other than wine?”

He nodded and you bowed, making your way out. By the time you returned with more wine and a platter of olives, bread, and cheese, he was already in the bathtub, leaning back with his eyes closed. Your feet padded softly on the mosaic floor to avoid  disturbing him, and you left his refreshments on the table near the tub.

You settled at one side of the room just in case he might need anything, staring off into the middle distance and letting your mind drift. He glanced at you sidelong, his curiosity having only grown after your brief conversation. He still had that nagging feeling that he had seen you somewhere before, but he didn’t want to ask outright.

You felt his gaze on you but pretended not to, keeping your eyes averted. You thought again of the poem he’d recited, how different his demeanor had been then. You wondered what other verses he’d been taught, and if you might ever hear him recite anything again. He had a voice for poetry, somehow turning the words into a sort of enchantment, keeping one entranced.

“Doesn’t it feel… strange sometimes?” he said suddenly, staring up at the ceiling. “When things settle and you realize how far you have come? How much you’ve had to sacrifice for it?”

You hummed in agreement, waiting for him to say more. 

“Sometimes, I even wonder if it was all worth it.”

Still lost in a haze of verses, you spoke before you could even think it through.

“Fortunate is he whose mind has the power to probe the causes of things and trample underfoot all terrors and inexorable fate.”

He sat up, surprised. “You know Virgil.” Recognition finally dawned on him. “You were at that party, weren’t you?”

You nodded. “Your words then were just as sharp as your blade.”

He huffed, leaning against the edge of the tub as he remembered his barely contained hatred. “Were you taught poetry to amuse, as well?”

“No, I used to read it with my mother when I was younger.”

“Who else have you read?”

“Ovid, Sappho, Horace…” You became a little flustered as he raised his eyebrows. “My mother was a bit of a romantic.”

“And you?”

It was your turn to huff with amusement, looking down at your hands. “I don’t believe I inherited that trait, no.”

The truth was that in a place such as Rome, love was quite hard to come by. You didn’t actively search for it, its ephemeral nature making you less inclined to, but you were no complete stranger to it. You’d never let it take root, though, for it was not something you could afford to have. 

“What about you, Dominus?”

“Me?” he said. “I suppose… I’m not entirely sure anymore. I used to be, at one point.”

His haunted expression told you not to press him for details, so you just nodded sympathetically. The two of you lapsed into silence, the weight of tragedy hanging between you. You’d had a lot more time to become numb to your circumstances, but it was clear the pain he was experiencing was still fresh. 

“I will be forced to remarry eventually.” He sighed heavily. “Produce heirs to carry out the lineage, show Rome a unified front.”

“Well, whoever you marry shall be the most fortunate woman in the empire.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, looking over at you. “You really believe so? You’re not just flattering me?”

“Of course,” you said, giving him a cryptic smile that made him laugh again. “I’m perfectly serious.”

“Oh, I am sure you are.”

After some time, he rose with a small splash, prompting you to immediately approach with an outstretched towel. His nudity barely registered in your mind, having already glimpsed him a few times. You wouldn’t dare to look at him directly, even if you were more than a little curious. You tensed as his fingers barely brushed yours in the exchange, but you quickly stepped back to give him more room.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, water dripping down his sculpted arms and chest. You went to start tidying up, studiously keeping your eyes on your task. He watched as you picked up the refreshments to take to the main chamber, a part of him wishing you would look at him instead. 

“One more thing,” he said and you immediately turned around. “Please, I want you to call me Lucius.”

Your face heated up at the mere thought of it. “I could never be so bold…”

“I insist,” he said, holding up a hand as you began to stammer again. “Perhaps only when it is just the two of us, if you’d prefer.”

“I will certainly try my best,” you said with an awkward grin, trying to keep your composure.

He chuckled. “Good enough for me.”

—-----------------

Weeks passed, and while Lucius still hadn’t managed to get you to call him by name, he had certainly gotten you to open up more. In the evenings, the two of you swapped more poetry, often sharing your own interpretations of the verses. At some point, he even had scrolls fetched from the library for you to read to him. He enjoyed the mellifluous sound of your voice, so at odds with your serious expression when you were concentrating. To have him as your sole audience was already titillating,  but the fact that he paid close attention was even more of a rush.

During the day, you anxiously looked forward to those handful of hours in which everything else disappeared. No speak of Rome, politics, or bitter memories, content with being each other’s brief escape. You still held yourself at a certain distance, though, always aware of the chasm between you. Yet he never made you feel inferior, often encouraging you to share your thoughts and opinions with him despite your reticence. You would even dare to say he cared, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe.

You wouldn’t necessarily say you were getting attached, for that would be too unrealistic of a fantasy, but you could not deny the butterflies in your stomach that often appeared while around him. His easy, handsome smile, the kindness in his eyes, his patient indulgence when listening to you, and the effort he put into making you laugh…

But the spell was abruptly broken the day he received a visit from his friend Ravi, who had brought someone for him to meet – a respectable Roman lady. A widow, as it happened, just like Lucius. Her hair was perfectly styled, falling in ringlets that framed her lovely face. She wore a lavender-colored dress with a matching veil, much fancier than anything you’d ever owned, and was adorned with golden jewelry. More importantly, she was freeborn, and thus a perfectly good candidate for marriage.

You swallowed hard, otherwise keeping your expression neutral. You hadn’t thought he would start meeting potential brides so soon, and you certainly hadn’t expected how it would make you feel. At least, Lucius also seemed surprised, not expecting his friend to try to set him up without consulting him first. Still, he assumed the role of gracious host and welcomed them warmly, leading them out to the gardens. He glanced over his shoulder at you as you silently trailed behind them, but you didn’t meet his gaze.

The three of them reclined on the couches of the outdoor dining area, shaded by a wooden pergola. It was a beautiful sunny day, the birds singing accompanied by the gurgle of the large fountain at the center of the garden. A gentle breeze stirred the foliage, carrying the faint, sweet smell of a dozen different flowers. 

You served them wine and hovered close by as another servant brought them food to snack on. Lucius had deliberately sat across from where you stood just so he could keep an eye on you. You’d withdrawn into yourself, trying your hardest to remain indifferent instead of worrying about whether the meeting went well or not. If it did, then you had to be happy for him, but if it didn’t… Well, at least that would buy you a little more time, if nothing else.

“Such a lovely garden,” the lady, Ilaria, said as she looked around. “One could never tire of such a view.”

Lucius nodded absently but said nothing, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“I could see you fitting in perfectly with all the other flowers here,” Ravi cut in, smiling with as much charm as he could muster to make up for it.

Ilaria inclined her head, modestly waving off the compliment. “Oh, you flatter me, Ravi.”

He gave Lucius a subtle, pointed look to encourage him to follow his lead. Lucius sat up and cleared his throat, only just focusing on the conversation. He had been trying to get your attention as subtly as possible, but he hadn’t been successful. 

“Er, yes, it’s always a treat to spend time out here. Certainly helps to clear the mind.”

Ravi shook his head a little and tried not to snort with amusement, thinking he was a lost case. Ilaria smiled, unbothered, taking a handful of grapes from a platter and popping one into her mouth. 

“I’d wager there is much on your plate, Imperator,” she said. “And having to manage the household staff on top of everything else… Must be a little overwhelming for you, no?”

“Well, I am a very busy man, yes, but it hasn’t been all that bad,” Lucius said. “I’ve certainly had a great deal of support to see me through.”

His words managed to reach you, softening you up infinitesimally. This time, when he glanced at you, you finally looked back. The ghost of a smile was on your face, but you quickly looked away before it could actually manifest.

“I see. Well, I’m very glad to hear that,” Ilaria said, sharing a curious glance with Ravi, who looked slightly apologetic. “Though perhaps you have considered that having someone run the house for you would take a big burden off your shoulders. I would be more than happy to lend a hand if you’d consider it.”

His eyebrows raised slightly at her boldness, not missing the eagerness in her gaze, poorly concealed behind her innocently helpful demeanor. He certainly did not want to get her hopes up, but he smiled graciously to soften the blow.

“Ah, perhaps in the future, when I have more time to worry about such things,” he said, politely noncommittal. “But I appreciate the offer.”

Her smile wavered and then froze, not wanting to seem too disappointed. “Of course, Imperator.”

For the remainder of their visit, Lucius let them do most of the talking, any remarks he made were studiously polite and yet still a little aloof. Finally, after a few hours, he excused himself, needing to return to his duties. Ravi seemed hesitant, like he wanted to stay behind and speak to him privately, but he would have to wait for another day. He escorted them both out, thanking them for visiting, but he did not exactly invite Ilaria to return to the palace. Her disappointment was more palpable then, but she hid it with as much grace as she could muster.

When they were gone, he turned to you with a shake of his head and a sigh, grinning with bewilderment.

“I do not enjoy being ambushed,” he said as if he felt the need to explain himself. “Decent enough as she seemed.”

You bowed your head in agreement, more relieved than you would like to admit. You had no real reason to have been upset earlier, given that there was nothing between you except for a certain kinship. Even so, it was clear he had not wanted you to be hurt, and you were very thankful for that. You offered him a small smile and some tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

He inclined his head towards the eastern hallway leading to his study. “Come, I would like you to read some documents to me. I can get work done faster that way.”

The tablinum was spacious but cozy, with a door to one side that led to a smaller patio. Before, the twin emperors had never used the room, but now it seemed well lived in. There was a mess of scrolls and wax tablets all over his desk that he still hadn’t let you organize. On the wall behind, there was a recently completed fresco of a gladiator riding a chariot pulled by two horses. For another wall, he had commissioned a portrait of Vesta, goddess of the home and the hearth, but it was still a work in progress. He was particularly proud of that one, an unspoken gift for you, his muse.

You lit the oil lamps in their alcoves, bathing the room in warm light. Lucius sat at his desk with a heavy exhale and scanned his notes to remember where he had left off the previous day. You sat on a stool beside him, unfurling the scroll he handed you and resting it on your knees. The texts you read didn’t always make sense to you, but you understood their importance. The fact that he was entrusting you with such work was an honor you did not take for granted.

“Start in that middle section. There is some stuff I would like to revisit,” he said, taking up his stylus. 

You nodded, finding what he was referring to and starting right away. You read to him for the next couple of hours, only stopping if he needed you to repeat something or in case he needed more time to make his notes. A few times during the latter, you glanced up to take in the focused furrow of his brow, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he pondered. You wondered what he might be thinking about, wishing he would impart some more knowledge on you. 

Outside, the sun was beginning to set, shadows deepening in the corners of the room. Another servant brought him dinner, but he didn’t seem too hungry yet. He handed you his cup of water when he heard you clear your throat a few times, insisting when you were reluctant to take it. 

When he was done for the day, he stretched his arms over his head with a groan and slumped in his seat. You neatly rolled the parchment back up and stood so you could stretch your legs. 

“I hope I haven’t tired you too much,” he said, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back. “You can take the rest of the evening off from reading if you’d like, but I would still appreciate some company.”

“Well, I still need to draw your bath and…”

“Somebody else can take care of it,” he cut in with a shrug, not preoccupied.

You hesitated. “What would you have me do instead, then?”

“Just sit back down, relax for a moment,” he said, getting up. “Here, you can have my chair. Much more comfortable.”

You were about to protest, but he gave you a look that said it was not up for discussion. You pursed your lips, uncomfortable at the idea of being idle, especially while taking up his seat. Still, you obeyed and sat down, hands folded on your lap. Feeling a little bold, you looked at him as if to say ‘satisfied?’ and he huffed in amusement.

“Wait, stay still,” he murmured suddenly, leaning down.

You froze as his face hovered mere inches away from yours, his breath fanning over your cupid’s bow. Delicately, he removed a stray eyelash that had been resting on your cheekbone, and he pulled back a little so you could see it on the pad of his finger.

“Make a wish,” he said.

All you could do was stare at him for another breathless moment that seemed to stretch on infinitely. You licked your lips nervously, drawing his eyes there before they returned to hold your gaze. Your heart was like a nervous bird fluttering wildly in your ribcage. Your mind was mostly blank, but the one thought that popped up was ‘I wish he would close the distance right now.’

You gently blew the eyelash away, your wish scattering into the air alongside it. The Gods must have decided to grant it immediately, for he did not pull away, instead slowly leaning in. His lips brushed yours tentatively and you closed your eyes, rejoicing for the barest second before you forced your face to turn away.

“We shouldn’t…” you murmured, the words hard to utter when a desperate want clung to your throat like honey.

“Why not?” He whispered.

“It’s not– I’m not…” You vaguely gestured towards yourself, unsure of what the right words were. 

He pulled back to look at you better. “Was I too presumptuous?”

You shook your head. “Not at all.”

“Then what is it?” He pressed.

“Dominus, please.”

“Lucius,” he pleaded, loathing the title. “Say it, please.”

“Lucius,” you said finally, though your eyes still spelled defiance when you glanced at him. “Is it not obvious? We both know it’s impossible.” Your lower lip trembled slightly. “I have a heart, too, you know? I don’t want it to be broken.”

“I know that, of course I know that!” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders and crouching in front of you. “I have no intention of breaking your heart.”

“Surely you understand where I am coming from, though.” You sniffed, keeping tears at bay. “I am not wife material, like the lady Ilaria. I have nothing to offer, no dowry, no family name, or even an inkling of Patrician blood. ”

“I do not care for such things. I would never demand them of you. Even if we cannot marry, I will not marry anyone else that isn’t you,” he said with a firm, determined shake of his head. “But I can still give you my name, along with your freedom. That’s all that matters to me.”

You gasped, the shock of his words akin to a bucket of ice water being dumped over you. Now you let the tears spill over, like a dam had finally burst. He kissed them away, his hands cupping your face gently.

“I have been thinking of nothing else since I met you. I’ve already made the arrangements… I suppose I just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“You honor me,” you said, smiling despite the tears. “You always have.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” He asked. “You have given me more than you think. You brought me the peace I have been so desperately seeking for a long time.”

“I-I don’t even know how to thank you.” You placed a hand over his. “If you desire to give me your name, then I shall give you mine in return.”

You told him your name, the real one, which you had been hiding ever since your Roman name was given to you. He had never asked you for it, knowing that one’s name was the only thing one could truly own in this world. And now for you to give it freely… He repeated it, testing its shape on his tongue, and smiled radiantly.

“Pairs rather well with Lucia Veria, if I do say so myself,” he said with a proud chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you’ll have it, that is.”

You knew by the disarming earnestness in his eyes he wasn’t just offering the name, but himself, as well. His whole heart in the palm of your hand, should you choose to care for it. You felt as if you had already made that choice a while ago, when you first recited Virgil back to him.

“I will,” you said with an elated chuckle. “Of course I will.”

He took your hands in his, kissing both of them. “Then first thing tomorrow, we will make it official.”

More tears flowed as a result of an overwhelming rush of both gratitude and love. You had tried to ignore your feelings, not uprooting them but instead silently letting them grow unacknowledged. For once, it had seemed worth the risk of heartbreak. After all, the love hadn’t stemmed from something as fleeting as lust, but a mutual understanding and respect. It was more than you could ever ask for, and yet everything you desired.

You leaned your forehead against his, your noses brushing as he tilted his head back. This time, it was you who brought your lips to his with a tentative sort of tenderness, propriety still at the back of your mind. He responded in kind, letting you set the pace so as not to scare you off. If you weren’t shaking so much, you might have noticed he was shaking, too. 

In that kiss, there was the promise of mutual devotion, sweet and sincere. You were still holding each other’s hands, as if afraid you might drift apart if you let go. You understood then why odes were written about this feeling, as all-consuming as the churning waves of the sea. All those verses had never resonated with you more. 

Perhaps you had inherited the romanticism, after all. 

—------------------

The air smelled of night-blooming jasmine, the fresh sweetness of it bringing you a sense of tranquility. You leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the stars and trying to piece together constellations. The world seemed drastically different now that you had your freedom, so vivid, so open, so alive. You even noticed it in your posture and the lightness with which you walked, as if you were floating. Lucius had said you were radiant with it.

He’d insisted on taking care of you the same way you’d cared for him, eager to show you his gratitude. You had been hesitant at first, but at his unwavering conviction, you relented, curious how it might feel to be spoiled. All that day, he had served you reverently, taking time off from his duties to focus solely on you.

You couldn’t help getting flustered at all the attention, his ardent gaze like a caress every time it met yours. His touch had so far been entirely chaste, but even the smallest, most innocuous contact was heightened with anticipation. The brush of his fingers over yours when he handed you something, a guiding hand on your lower back, even a touch on your shoulder to make you aware of his presence.

There were a few sneaked kisses in both the garden and the tablinum, each one of them leaving an undercurrent of warmth under your skin that promised more. It was like a slow, drawn-out game of chase, neither of you in a rush to reach its conclusion. If anything, it only made you want each other more. 

After the sun had set, when the two of you drifted along as if in a drunken stupor, Lucius went to prepare a bath for you in his chambers. You were nervous and exhilarated, every moment spent waiting for him to be done an exquisite agony. Until finally, he poked his head around the bathroom door.

“It’s ready now,” he said, beckoning you with a smile.

You followed him into the bathroom, hands wringing anxiously. Flower petals were scattered on the mosaic floor, leading towards the steaming tub. Flickering candles bathed the room in a warm glow, making your shadows dance on the wall. You looked at each other, both knowing what the next step was but hesitant to initiate it. He averted his gaze first, gesturing towards the door.

“Would you like me to give you some privacy?”

You shook your head, desire making you a little more brave. “I… I would love some help undressing, though.”

His spine straightened, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. “With pleasure.”

He crouched to slowly pull the hem of your long tunic upwards, rising with it. You lifted your arms so he could get it over your head, the fabric falling to the floor unceremoniously. Your eyes were fixed on his face, drinking in his expression as he took a step back to get a better look at you. The bare expanse of your skin robbed him of breath, his eyes roaming over every curve and plane of your figure. He wanted to sink to his knees again and lay his forehead at your feet in worship, but he stood still, his fingers twitching at his sides.

“The evening star is the most beautiful of all stars,”  he said in a low voice, quoting Sappho.

Warmth spread from your chest to your face, and you smiled coyly as another verse came to mind. “Come to me once more, and abate my torment…”

You offered him your hand, which he took, and he led you to the tub. You daintily stepped in, sighing contentedly as you sank into the water’s enveloping warmth. He knelt next to the tub, leaning against it with one arm propped on the edge. 

“Have I told you enough times that you are beautiful?” He said. “I don’t think it has been enough.”

You huffed with amusement, looking down as you fought a geeky grin. “Well, about a hundred times with just your eyes. A few times out loud, though.”

He chuckled. “I suppose I’ll have to show you in other ways, too… If I may.”

You nodded, silently granting him permission. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your lips before standing up. He took it upon himself to bathe you, starting out by scrubbing your scalp. You leaned into his touch, eyes closing in bliss. He smiled at your soft, pleasured hum, and vowed to elicit as many more as he could. 

Things took on an almost ritualistic quality, with him focused entirely on his task. You were loose limbed, letting him move you about as he used a cloth to scrub your skin. He didn’t try anything that might be deemed unsavory, though you let his tender, reverential touch reach places no one had touched in a very, very long time. But he didn’t linger, to your slight frustration, not wanting to jump into things too quickly. The flames of your desire were stoked slowly, warmth running through you like sweet wine. 

When he was done, he helped you step out of the tub and immediately got to drying you off with a towel. You caught his eye for a moment, his pupils blown wide with equally fervent desire. You stopped yourself from clutching his arm, wanting to anchor yourself to him, but he could still tell you were growing restless. He kissed your shoulder, tapping the tip of your nose playfully with his finger.

“Not done quite yet,” he murmured, not missing the way you involuntarily pressed your thighs together. “You’ve always been very patient.”

“For the first time, I fear it might be running thin…” you said, to which he smiled. 

He grabbed a small glass bottle of rose oil and lathered some in his hands. He anointed your body with it, the heady scent of one of Venus’s favorite flowers permeating the air. As he reached your chest, you took hold of his wrist and brought his palm to rest over your heart. He felt it beating rapidly, your chest rising and falling with each panting breath.

His eyes fell to your lips, slightly parted with want. He grasped your chin with his free hand, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip.

“I have been thinking about this for a long time,” he said, leaning in to brush his nose against yours. “But I hadn’t wanted to touch you until now, when you actually felt like you had a choice in the matter.”

You clutched his wrist tighter, his thoughtfulness only making you want him more. All those hours he must have spent yearning, unaware that you were stuck thinking of him too. As emperor, he had the right to take whatever he wanted, but having previously been a gladiator, he understood the monumental importance of bodily autonomy. Very few people in Rome had such a privilege and he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one to rob you of it. 

You kissed him in response, much fiercer, hungrier, than all the other kisses you had shared so far. A desperate sound escaped his throat and he clasped you against him tightly. Swiftly, he scooped you up into his strong arms and carried you out to the bedchamber as he would a bride.

Gently, he set you down on the bed and pulled away to remove his tunic. This time, you were not meek about his nakedness. You brazenly stared at him, eyes mapping out the lines of his muscles, the pink, raised skin of his scars, and the soft trail of hair on his abdomen that seemed to suggestively point downwards. 

His shoulders were squared with pride at your ogling, a sly smile on his face. He’d had an inkling before of your attraction, but to see it on full display was narcotic, and he felt himself pulse with an aching need.

“Come closer,” you said softly.

He did, climbing over you, his warmth immediately enveloping you. You hid your face on the junction between his neck and shoulder, embarrassed at all the thoughts rushing through your mind.

“What is it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow with amusement.

“Nothing,” you said, voice muffled against his skin. “I just… I do not think you realize how badly I wanted this, too. I-I don’t want to ever stop.”

He chuckled indulgently, nudging your head so you’d look at him. “Neither do I.”

He kissed you again, and again, and again. You were so close to him that the lines of your bodies became indivisible, but it still didn’t seem like enough. Your knees hiked up to his hips in a silent plea, but he did not give in quite yet, wanting to prolong things for as long as he could.

Still, unable to resist a little bit of mutual torment, he slid upwards until his hips were aligned with yours. You gasped as you felt the velvety underside of his erection against your slick folds, each small movement making you tremble. Your brows furrowed and your lips parted in a wanton expression, your eyes shiny and half lidded as you looked at him.

“Lucius,” you whimpered. 

“I know,” he murmured soothingly, kissing your neck. “I know.”

Neither of you were willing to break apart from your embrace, so there wasn’t actually much of a preamble. Feverish, he sank into you slowly, your nails digging into his biceps as he stretched you open. That first round was frantic, almost animalistic, all the pent up longing finally being released. His body rolled over yours with the power of the sea’s waves, leaving you awash in ecstasy.

Neither of you lasted very long, but it didn’t matter, as you were nowhere near spent. Lucius, still in the afterglow of his orgasm, lazily began to kiss you all over, wanting to discover every mole and freckle, every tender spot that made you squirm, and every other little detail that made you you. 

He settled between your thighs, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive bundle of nerves. You tried to prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, but he wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you closer. 

“What are you– Oh,” you gasped at the first flick of his tongue, the entirely new sensation disarming you. 

He tasted his essence mixed with yours, a groan rumbling in his chest. You tightly grasped the sheets under you, arching against his face. You bit your lip to stop yourself from making the most undignified sounds, but it was hard to focus, especially as his fingers were added into the mix. Your body burned brighter than any brazier, his arms pinning you down as he conquered you with his mouth. You shattered once more, crying out as he helped you ride it all the way through. 

After, you lied side by side, facing each other. You’d still not had your fill of him, but you needed to gather your strength for the long night ahead. You shared a breathy chuckle, as if still in disbelief it had finally happened, and he kissed your sweat-slick forehead.

“Now that was poetry,” you said jokingly, making him laugh again. 

“You put every verse to shame, my love,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You kissed his palm, adoring, and tangled your legs with his. A swell of emotion unlike anything you had ever felt rose within you. It was as if he had awakened a new part of you that you hadn’t known was dormant, bringing you back from an existence that consisted solely of drifting through days that blended into one another.

He was just as grateful to have found you, his peace, his solace, the woman who would always guard his heart. He murmured your name reverently, a reminder that you were his, and he was yours. You drew closer to him, like a moth to flame, and pushed him onto his back, straddling him. His hands came to rest on your hips and your eyes were full of mirth as you held his gaze.

“As it happens, I find myself compelled to compose some more with you.” You grinned playfully, hands sliding up his chest. 

He mirrored your grin, not minding the idea one bit. “Relentless, just like the great muse Calliope.”

“Well, when inspiration strikes… It can’t be helped, can it?”

“No,” he said. “Not when it comes to you.”

------

[writesvani]

down low | 01

boxer! jungkook x collegestudent! reader

SUMMARY: There's no love, there are no fights with Jungkook—just a twisted addiction that keeps you crawling back. You tell yourselves it’s not toxic. After all, you never argue, never get jealous. Just fuck, lie, and slip back into the arms of the people who will never know.

It’s not love.

But it sure as hell isn’t nothing.

friends with benefits au, situationship au

TRIGGER WARNINGS: sexual content, guilt, manipulation, secrecy, emotional conflict, cheating, voyeurism, risky behavior, sexting

comment here for the Down Low taglist;

SERIES M.LIST;

— next chapter (pending...)

wc: 3,6k // date: 10th of April 2025

CHAPTER ONE — U Up?; happy reading my gummies...

AN: okay, so here's a highly questionable cast of characters that i lowkey (highkey) despise. like, seriously, i’m not sure who let them be this messy, but here we are. anyway, just to clarify, i don’t condone cheating, but since this is fiction, i’m gonna let them do their absolutely horrible, unhinged thing.

also, this series was supposed to be a 5-chapter thing, each chapter a massive 10k words (i know, i had big plans), but since i don't have time to edit those giant chapters rn, i’ve decided to split it up into smaller ones. because we all deserve a little chaos in bite-sized pieces, right?

as for the note goal… who even knows how to set these things? like, chapter one is out and my m.list has around 1.6k notes, so let’s be HIGHLY ambitious and say chapter 2 will drop once we hit 800 notes. i mean, let’s aim high, people, right? let’s get those notes!

If there were a proper title to give you, it wouldn’t be something graceful or kind. No, it would be a creature of bad habits.

Greedy—that’s what they call you. And maybe they’re right. Because how could you ever be satisfied with what you already have? You crave more. Always more. More love. More passion. More friendships. More fun. More everything. It’s intoxicating, that hunger. Isn’t that just human nature, though? To want, to chase, to reach for the things just out of grasp?

You never understood the point of settling. Why would anyone cling to a single slice when the whole cake is within reach? But greed doesn’t come alone. No, it always brings a shadow—possessiveness.

Even as a little girl, you despised sharing. Your toys were yours. Your parents’ attention? Yours, too—until your little brother arrived and shattered that illusion. You learned to live with it. You adapted. But when it came to your friends… that instinct never faded. They were yours. Always.

So maybe it makes sense that now, as a woman, you have a loyal, sweet boyfriend who adores you—completely unaware that he shares you with another man when the night grows heavy and dark.

Sometimes, you think he’s stupid. The way he never even considers the possibility of someone else touching you, breathing your name while he sleeps, studies or works late hours. The way he never questions your sudden silences, your empty stare, the soft smell of someone else’s cologne lingering in your hair.

Sometimes, you think he’s cute. Sweet, even. Taehyung trusts you blindly, so deeply, it almost breaks your heart.

And sometimes—on the rare nights when your body aches from carrying secrets and your soul feels raw—you’re grateful for him. He’s the shoulder you cry on when the weight becomes too much, the arms that hold you when you feel like falling apart. Maybe… maybe he’s the only thing keeping you grounded.

And yet—despite all of that—you still do it. You still let another man kiss the guilt off your skin. You still let another man wreck you in ways you never let Taehyung see.

Do you feel guilty? Occasionally. But guilt?

Guilt is for the weak.

Because the truth is—you can’t stop. Even when you know it’s wrong. Even when it makes you question everything.

Are you a bad person?

No.

Just… human.

Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

The honeyed scent of Taehyung’s skin wraps around you like a memory you never asked for. It’s warm, familiar—safe. His arm is thrown lazily over your waist, fingers curled like he’s afraid of losing you even in sleep. He’s close—so close it should feel like home. His chest rises and falls behind you, a steady rhythm you’ve come to memorize. His soft snores echo in the quiet, like a lullaby meant just for you.

You should be asleep.

You should be calm. At peace.

But you’re not.

Your eyes flutter open again, lashes brushing your cheeks with every blink. Frustration bubbles beneath your skin as you squint at the red digits on the nightstand. 01:34 AM.

You have classes in the morning. Work after that. Your entire day is stitched together with responsibilities, expectations, and the mask you’ve been perfecting for months, years even. Still, sleep refuses to take you. It stays just out of reach, mocking you.

Your fingers flex around Taehyung’s forearm—his skin warm under your touch—and he shifts closer, unconsciously drawn to you. It makes you smile. He’s too adorable for his own good when he sleeps. Soft. Vulnerable.

Yours.

You almost turn toward him. Almost let yourself bury your face in the crook of his neck. Let his scent rock you to sleep like it’s done a hundred times before.

Almost.

Until a sound cuts through the silence.

A ping. Soft, sharp. Familiar.

Your body stiffens. Taehyung mumbles something incoherent, lips brushing your shoulder, and you feel the faintest trace of drool there. He’s out cold.

You reach for the nightstand like you’ve done it a thousand times. No hesitation. No second guessing. You already know who it is.

Of course it’s him.

Your screen lights up with a message so simple it makes your stomach flip.

JK: u up?

It’s always like this.

He waits until Eunji is asleep, until the world is quiet, until you’re wrapped in someone else’s arms—and then he texts. Always at night. Always in secret.

And you?

You always answer.

Because your little game only lives in the shadows, breathing between midnight texts and silenced guilt.

Because even though you’re lying in Taehyung’s bed, wearing his t-shirt, listening to the steady beat of his heart—

You're never really his. Not fully.

Not when Jungkook’s name has the power to set your entire body on fire.

you: mhmm, but thinking of dozing off rn

JK: c’mon bby, don’t fall asleep on me now, wya?

you: taehyung’s. wby?

JK: home. but eunji’s sleeping over.

you: so why are u texting me?

JK: can’t i just miss you?

you: liaaaar. you don’t miss mee.

You stare at the last message, lips curled into a smirk even though your chest tightens with something you won’t name. Because it’s true.

Jungkook doesn’t miss you. He never has. Not in the way you need to be missed. Not in the daylight, not when the world is watching. Only in the dark, only when it’s quiet and no one’s looking. Just like you don’t miss him.

Not really.

Not ever.

JK: mmh, myb, but i miss that cute little throat

Your breath hitches. Instinctively, your eyes dart to Taehyung.

Still fast asleep.

His face is soft, turned toward your shoulder, mouth slightly open. The steady warmth of his breath fans your skin. He looks like everything that’s right in the world. Everything stable. Everything safe.

So why does your pulse quicken like this?

Why does your body react as if Jungkook’s hands are already on you, as if his voice is already whispering filth into your ear?

It shouldn’t be hot.

It shouldn’t be.

But it is.

The guilt crawling beneath your skin only adds fuel to the fire.

Your fingers tremble as you type.

you: really? what else do you miss?

You send it before you can stop yourself.

Before you can talk yourself out of it.

Taehyung shifts beside you, arm tightening around your waist, and you freeze for a second—heart caught between panic and something darker.

Something closer to thrill.

There’s a pause.

Long enough for anticipation to curl low in your stomach like smoke.

You can already picture him—lying in his bed, lights off, the pale blue glow of his phone screen painting shadows across that pretty face. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, that familiar furrow in his brow as he tries to come up with something clever. Something that’ll make your skin burn.

He always does this—crafts the perfect reply, like he’s pulling the strings and watching you fall apart from the safety of his room. Like he knows exactly what to say to make your walls crumble.

You bite the inside of your cheek, heart thudding painfully in your chest. Taehyung’s arm is still snug around your waist, his body still warm, still unaware. Still perfect.

But it’s not him you’re thinking about.

Not in this moment.

Not when your phone buzzes again.

JK: aha. miss the way u sound when i hit it from the back.

JK: miss how u shake when i bite down real soft so he wouldn’t notice.

JK: miss that dumb look in ur eyes when u know u shouldn’t want it but beg anyway.

Your mouth goes dry.

Shame rushes in quick and hot, but it doesn’t stop the way your thighs clench beneath the blanket. Doesn’t stop the heat blooming in your chest like a fire you’re too afraid to put out.

You should put the phone down.

You should.

But instead, you type with shaking fingers:

you: you’re such an asshole.

you: but what if i wanna beg now?

A reckless message. Sent before you can overthink it.

And just like that, the silence of the room shifts—heavier now. Thicker with something filthy. Dangerous.

He doesn’t reply right away.

And for a fleeting second, dread slips beneath your skin like ice. Your heart stutters.

What if she woke up?

What if you both got caught?

Your fingers tighten around the phone, breath held hostage in your lungs.

Ping.

Ping.

Two notifications.

But not texts.

Photos.

Your pulse skyrockets as you swipe them open.

The first image is a little blurry, but you don’t need perfect resolution to know what you’re looking at.

Blanket draped low, his tattooed arm stretched across it, boxers tenting high with the unmistakable shape of his cock—hard and ready.

Your stomach twists. Fuck.

Even through the layers of cotton, it makes your mouth water. The idea that he’s this worked up over a few late-night texts? That his body responds to you like instinct, like addiction?

It shouldn’t thrill you this much.

But it does.

You swipe to the next photo—and suddenly, it’s not just lust that grips you.

It’s something darker.

Colder.

Eunji.

Sleeping on her stomach, hand curled beneath her pillow. Her face is turned away from the camera, peaceful. Innocent. Her long black hair spills across the pillow like silk—so shiny, so well-kept, you might’ve asked her about her routine if you weren’t fucking her boyfriend.

Your throat tightens.

She’s right there. Within arm’s reach of him. Of this.

And still, his attention is on you.

Still, you’re the one making him hard.

Taehyung stirs beside you in his sleep, lips brushing your shoulder, completely unaware. Completely devoted.

You blink, breath shaky, phone clutched in your hand like a loaded gun.

You should be disgusted.

You should feel something.

Shame. Guilt. Rage.

But all you feel is heat pooling between your legs—and that awful, aching need that only Jungkook seems to know how to pull from you.

And best of all?

The power.

The power of knowing you’re the one they both need.

you: bruuuuh, why’d u have to send me a pic of her

JK: because you’re teasing too much bby and i can’t do anything about it

you: ugh you’re so disgusting kook

JK: c’mon, don’t pretend you don’t love making me this hard when she’s here

You stare at the screen, thumb hovering, breath stuck in your throat.

He got you.

Again.

It’s not even about the sex anymore—it’s about the way Jungkook crawls inside your head and flips every switch you swore no one else could reach.

He knows.

Knows how your body reacts to filthy words whispered like secrets.

Knows which buttons to press to make you unravel with just a few taps of a keyboard.

But more than that—he knows your mind.

Knows how you crave what’s forbidden.

How your appetite is carved from hunger for things you can’t have.

How the moment something is off-limits, it becomes irresistible.

How the line between guilt and arousal blurs the second he sends you proof that he’s hard—while the girl who trusts him sleeps inches away.

And worst of all, he knows you won’t stop.

He knows you’ll let him get away with it.

Knows that the shame is half the high.

That this game you play—the one with no winners—is the only thing that really makes you feel anything anymore.

You clench your thighs together beneath Taehyung’s sheets, the warmth of his body wrapped around yours like a lifeline. And yet, you’re not even here.

Your body’s here.

But your mind?

Your need?

Your guilt and desire and the ugliest parts of you?

They’re with Jungkook.

JK: u there?

JK: or is taehyung waking up?

JK: should i stop texting, baby?

Your jaw tightens.

you: shut up, kook.

you: you’re insane.

you: she’s literally RIGHT THERE.

you: you’re actually disgusting.

JK: yeah? but you’re wet, aren’t you?

JK: don’t lie, baby.

JK: you love this shit.

JK: love that i’m hard for you while she’s snoring in my bed.

JK: love knowing she has no idea.

JK: love knowing taehyung’s clueless too.

Your hands tremble just slightly, phone screen glowing like it’s daring you to throw it across the room. You don’t.

you: i hate you.

JK: no, you don’t.

JK: you hate that i know you.

JK: hate that i get to see this part of you no one else does.

JK: hate that it turns you on this much.

You don’t respond. You can’t. Not yet.

But he doesn’t need your words to keep going.

JK: i bet you’re squeezing your thighs right now, aren’t you?

JK: laying there next to your sweet little boyfriend, thinking about my cock.

JK: thinking about my mouth.

JK: thinking about how fast i’d make you cum if you were here instead.

JK: or better yet... if i was there.

Your heart slams into your ribs.

you: kook.

you: stop.

you: seriously.

JK: say the word, and i will.

JK: but we both know you won’t.

JK: you like this too much, baby.

Your lips part. The room is quiet—too quiet—except for the sound of Taehyung’s steady breathing against your neck.

Your fingers move before your mind can catch up.

you: tell me what you’d do if you were here.

There’s a pause. A long one. Long enough to make your heart thud louder in your ears.

JK: i’d pull those panties to the side and stuff your mouth so you can’t make a sound

JK: i wouldn’t care about taehyung. he wouldn’t even wake up. he’d just keep dreaming while i fuck you slow and deep right next to him

JK: you’d cum with your back arched into me and my hand on your throat to keep you quiet

Your breath hitches. You feel the wetness between your thighs, undeniable now.

The scenario is absurd, unrealistic, impossible, yet the mere thought of Jungkook fucking you right next to your sleeping boyfriend makes the irational part of you ponder of calling him over.

Key word: irrational.

you: you’re horrible.

JK: and you love it.

JK: you love knowing i want to ruin you while he holds you like you’re some kind of good girl.

JK: you’re not.

You close your eyes, inhale the sweet scent of Taehyung’s skin—and then, traitorously, exhale Jungkook’s name in your mind.

you: what would you do after?

JK: i’d stay inside you.

JK: soft. slow. still.

JK: just so you’ll remember who really owns you every time he touches you.

Your whole body clenches.

You shouldn’t reply.

But of course, you do.

you: i want you so bad it hurtsssss

JK: then come over

JK: i’ll fuck you while you’re wearing his shirt

you: haah, you wish. she’s still there kook.

JK: so what? i’ll wake her up, tell her i have an emergency with friends or something, make sum up

you: you wish jungkook.

JK: you’re soooo mean

You stare at the screen. Your fingers hover for a second before you start typing again, heart pounding.

you: you want to know what i’d do if i was there?

JK: fuck yes.

JK: tell me.

You smile, biting your lip, eyes glinting with mischief as you start typing slow.

you: i wouldn’t touch you right away.

you: i’d crawl into your bed real slow, straddle your lap, let your hands wander while mine just sit on your chest.

you: tease you. rub against you just enough to get you begging.

you: but i wouldn’t let you take my clothes off.

JK: fuck.

JK: keep going.

you: i’d grind down on you until you’re so hard it hurts. kiss you just to shut you up.

you: make you watch me take off my shirt. real slow. nothing else.

you: then i’d lean in and whisper how good i’d make you feel—if you kept your hands to yourself.

JK: you’re evil.

JK: i’m literally throbbing rn.

you: i’m not done.

you: i’d slide down between your legs, kiss up your thighs, leave scratches on them just because i can.

you: and then i’d suck your cock so slow you’d lose your damn mind.

you: make you beg to cum.

you: but you don’t get to, not until i say so.

you: i’d let you fuck my mouth. deep. wet. sloppy.

you: and right when you’re close? i’d stop.

you: tell you to fuck me instead.

There’s a pause.

Then—

JK: baby. i’m gonna cum in my boxers.

JK: you’re unreal.

JK: comeee here.

you: you wish.

you: you don’t deserve me tonight.

JK: you’re so fucked up.

JK: and i love it.

you: you love it when i edge you, don’t you?

you: leave you aching and leaking for me.

you: bet you’d cum the second i sit on your lap.

JK: fuck. stop.

JK: you’re gonna make me ruin these boxers.

JK: get your ass over here.

you: why? so you can throw her out just to rail me. or so you can fuck me while she’s sleeping in the next room?

you: so i have to keep quiet with your hand over my mouth?

JK: you love that shit, don’t you?

JK: you biting my hand to keep from screaming is the hottest shit ever.

JK: you shake when you cum. did you know that?

JK: so fucking pretty.

you: you think i don’t know?

you: you only cum that hard for me.

you: not her.

you: never her.

You glance over your shoulder. Taehyung is still knocked out. Thank God.

you: he’s still asleep.

you: you should be fucking me right now.

you: you should be filling me up in his bed.

JK: you’d love that, wouldn’t you?

JK: i’d cum inside you so deep you’d leak into his sheets.

JK: he’d never know he’s holding you while you’re full of me.

JK: you’re so mine it’s pathetic.

you: i’d let you fuck me slow. real slow.

you: make you watch my face while i whisper his name just to fuck with you.

you: and you’d still moan like a bitch.

JK: jesus fucking christ.

JK: you want me to beg? fine. i’m begging.

JK: tell me what you’re wearing.

You smirk, fingers sliding beneath the waistband of your panties just enough to make yourself gasp softly.

you: just his t-shirt.

you: nothing underneath.

you: it still smells like him.

you: but i’m touching myself to you.

JK: i’m gonna lose my fucking mind.

JK: show me.

Your fingers move before you can think. You slowly peel the covers off your legs, making sure not to wake your boyfriend. The room is dim, but there’s just enough light from the window to catch your skin in that soft glow.

You bite your lip and slide your hand down the front of your body, lifting the hem of Taehyung’s shirt just enough. Camera up. Angle just right. The top of your thighs, the curve of your stomach, your fingers just brushing beneath the shirt, teasing the promise of what’s underneath.

Click.

You send it.

you: this enough for now?

you: you don’t even get to see everything. not tonight.

Another picture follows, this one riskier—your fingers between your thighs now, lips parted slightly in the mirror, shirt still on but clearly, there’s nothing beneath.

Click. Sent.

JK: holy. fuck.

JK: you’re gonna make me cum just from this.

JK: i want you on your knees the second i see you.

you: you’ll be lucky if i even let you touch me.

you: maybe i’ll just sit on your face and make you beg for it.

JK: say less.

JK: i’ll let you ride me until i forget my own name.

JK: just say the word.

You’re beyond turned on right now. Your body feels like it’s on fire, your thoughts tangled in need and desire. Every inch of you is aching for him, and you can practically feel your body calling out to Jungkook. Your pussy clenches around nothing, a constant reminder of how badly you want him.

For a moment, you consider sneaking into the bathroom, texting him some more, maybe even making yourself cum with your fingers. But then the air shifts.

Taehyung stirs in his sleep, and your heart sinks like a stone in your chest. Panic rushes through you, cold and sharp, as his voice breaks the silence.

“Love, what are you doing there?”

Your body freezes, a deer caught in headlights, your breath catching in your throat. You quickly shut your phone, lowering the volume to make sure he doesn’t hear Jungkook’s incoming texts.

“Oh, nothing,” you manage to say, your voice sounding steadier than you feel. “Just going to the bathroom.”

He hums in response, shifting his body to turn the other way. “Just turn the hallway lights off when you get back, and hurry up. You know I can’t sleep without you.”

Your heart races, but you manage to whisper, “Okay, love. Wait for me.”

You bolt out of the room, the urgency in your movements as sharp as the guilt gnawing at you. The second you’re in the bathroom, you lock the door behind you. You sit down on the closed toilet, your body trembling, your breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps.

You pull your phone back out, your fingers shaky as you unlock it. A string of messages from Jungkook lights up the screen, his words practically searing into you.

JK: ugh, i want to fuck you so bad

JK: bby?

JK: wya?

JK: is he up or sum?

JK: are you okay?

JK: did he catch you?

You take a deep breath, your chest tightening as you type your response, fingers trembling.

you: he woke up for a sec, i'm in the bathroom rn

you: he’s waiting for me

The next message hits you like a punch in the gut.

JK: oh shit

JK: we should probably stop for tonight

You roll your eyes, frustration bubbling up inside you. No shit, Sherlock. Of course, you should stop for tonight. Why does he always have to act like you’re stupid?

you: yea, i gotta go.

The reply is almost immediate, and you can hear the tension in his words.

JK: okay

JK: wanna chill tmrw tho?

You pause, your mind racing. You should stop, but you want him. You always want him.

you: when?

Your fingers hover over the screen as you try to keep your composure.

JK: after your shift? maybe 10-11pm? you can sleep over.

You feel a flutter of anticipation in your stomach. The pull of temptation is too strong, and you can't resist.

you: sure.

taglist: @mochi13 @wobblewobble822 @jkvamp @sunnikthv @kimyishin @asyr97 @pjmname @shesscorpio7 @daarla07 @jeontids @bellefaerie @kissyfacekoo @lily-lilacsky @bammbi-jeon127 @httpjeonlicious @belleilichil @minghaosimp @marrtyaa @septemberskies @yok00k @ioanatodorova @rokshi @b2407 @boommoom @kookienooki @avawants2havefun @bhonbhon @taekritimin123 @oraiseok @thenamesathy @superchamchi88 @lenamercedesworld @candygalx @notsevenwithyou @heesuvk @ahgasegotarmy116 @jeonsinsatiablekitten @saki-gojo @piratekingateez2001 @0-0rot @bangatanily @justbelljust @plusultra0 @softhaes @bangtanily @justbelljust @gguk-lvr @gukkie7 @beomluvrr @iamworldwidehandsome

[arietem]

take it off me

masterlist

jj maybank x fem!reader

summary: jj pays you a visit after hanging out with the boys and sees you wearing his shirt

smut and suggestive content

Early June on the island was your favorite time of the year. The weather was starting to get warm enough so you could go to the beach, and the tourists were not swarming the island just yet. You didn’t need to be at your summer job at the resort for another week, so hanging out with your friends was a must until then. These days, though, you couldn’t get your hands off one of your friends in particular. Well, not really a friend anymore, was he? It was safe to say he got promoted to boyfriend status.

Just over a month ago, you asked JJ if he would finally make his move or if you had to do all the work. Honestly, before you even finished the sentence, his lips were on yours, and as they say, the rest is history. And boy, is there a lot of that between you two. All those years of friendship culminated in a whirlwind of love and affection.

The night was one of those rare ones when he was hanging with the boys in the chateau and you were in your own home. It was warm and serene, with a light breeze making your curtains flutter. You were sitting in your comfy armchair in your room, journaling your thoughts, when you heard strange sounds coming from outside your window.

“Psst! Hey, psst!”

You weren’t really surprised that he decided to ditch John B and Pope and come see you. He couldn’t keep his hands off you either. You left your journal on the chair and stepped outside to lean over your balcony. “What are you doing here, JJ? Aren’t you with the boys?” He was looking so yummy, with messy blonde hair and a mischievous grin on his face.

“We were drinkin’, playin’ some card game Pope wanted, Ion kno’. They are passed the hell out, and I came to see m’girl.” You realized he was talking a little slurred now. “JJ! Tell me you didn’t drive your bike here!” You were gonna kill him if he was playing like that. He knew you hated drinking and driving.

“Nah, mama, I walked. Scout’s honor,” he said and threw up a peace sign. “Give me the ladder now.”

“That’s the wrong sign, but sure. Here you go, Jay.” You tossed him the rope ladder you kept stashed on your balcony for situations like this.

“You’re lucky my parents’ room is on the other side of the house.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He was slowly making his way up the ladder, trying really hard to keep his balance. “A lil’ help, maybe?” He reached a hand out for you to assist in pulling him up over the railing. He stumbled a little when he jumped across, but you grabbed his shoulders and steadied him.

“Oh, baby,” he sighed and buried his fingers in your hair, “I missed ya.” He was never so affectionate when you were with the Pogues, and you didn’t mind it, not really, but it was nice hearing those words every once in a while. JJ rested his forehead on yours and gave you a peck on the nose.

“Okay, beer breath, let’s go inside.” You stepped into the room with JJ in tow and flicked on another soft light. He sat on the edge of your bed, watching you tie your hair in a messy bun.

“Wait, is that my, is that my Pookie shirt?” he pointed to your chest. You looked down to see what he was talking about. You didn’t even realize it was that one, you simply grabbed the first one out of your drawer. “Oh, yeah, I guess you left it here the other night. I’m sorry, I can give it back.” You were so used to smelling him on yourself and your clothes that it became a part of you.

JJ’s jaw was slack, eyes glistening in the soft light of the room, breeze from the open balcony rustling his hair gently. “C’mere,” he beckoned you with his pointer finger. You obliged and settled between his thighs, interlocking your hands behind his neck. He definitely sounded more sober now.

“You’re gorgeous, ya know that? The hottest girl on the island.”

You weren’t wearing any pants and JJ slid his palm under the shirt, squeezing your ass.

“Yeah, the hottest? What about the smartest?”

“I dunno about all that, you are slummin’ it with me.” You smacked his shoulder lightly. “Kidding, kidding,” he laughed, bringing his hands up your back under the shirt, “the smartest and the hottest girl in all of Outer Banks.”

Didn't that sound so good coming from him? You brought your lips to his forehead, letting yourself stay still for a second, breathing in his smoky scent, the familiar sensation of excitement creeping up your spine. JJ let himself fall backwards on the bed, pulling you with him. Sprawled across his chest, you could hear his heart beating fast. He slowly took off your shirt over your head, leaving you topless. You shivered despite the warmth and went to return the favor, running your nails over his abs. Goosebumps erupted all over his golden skin.

You bent down to lick his happy trail, the hair there faint and soft. JJ gasped and bucked his hips upward. "Oh, baby, the things you do to me." You just grin and continue kissing your way upward to his face.

"Let's get you out of these shorts, pretty boy, huh?" He jumped up from the bed, hopping on one leg while he tried to get out of his pants. "Stop! You're gonna hurt - "

You didn't even get to finish your sentence, and JJ was on the floor as he tripped over his feet. "JJ!" you keeled over with laughter, extending a hand to help him off the floor.

"All good, cupcake." JJ dusted off his hands and dragged you towards the bed, pulling you onto his lap. "Now, where were we?"

He started kissing your neck, eliciting soft moans from your lips. He made you feel so good, you wanted to give him some of that in return. You slowly stood up and walked backward. Giving him a wink, you sank to your knees and grabbed his thighs. JJ leaned on his elbows, watching as you slowly lowered his boxers and let his dick sprang free. It smacked him in the stomach, making you drool a little bit.

"All this just for me?" you asked with awe. You spit in your hand, spreading it all over his cock, making it slick and ready for your mouth. JJ groaned when you palmed him with one hand and went for his balls with the other. You wanted this to take as long as possible, making him as hot and bothered as possible. You gave him a tentative lick, at which JJ moaned harder, making you smile against his dick. You took his tip inside your mouth, gradually going deeper and deeper.

When he was as deep as you could take it, you hummed lightly and stuck out your tongue. He rewarded you by whimpering loudly and tangling his fingers in your hair, making your bun even messier. You bobbed your head up and down, gagging every time he touched the back of your throat. JJ loved hearing your gags, grunting every time you did it.

Your eyes started to water, and you could tell JJ was close to finishing. He sat up, knocking you slightly off balance. With a loud pop, you released him from your mouth and looked up at him. He wiped under your eyes with his thumbs, brushing away the tears. And probably smearing your mascara even more. "Oops, I made it worse." His voice was gravelly and lust-filled. You just rolled your eyes and pushed him back, ready to bring him to the finish line.

[hanshenrykcd]

“I’ll be back,” Henry told his lord, even though he barely believed it himself. Hans didn’t seem convinced either. He didn’t meet his gaze, just sighed and turned his face away. And Henry couldn’t stand seeing him like that: sad, worried—defeated.

He needed Hans to believe him, to hold onto hope, and not to end up like Gelehaut in the story. Even if Henry wouldn’t make it himself, he needed Hans to escape the siege unscathed and to claim what was rightfully his. He needed him to survive and have a great life—with or without him.

So Henry placed his hand on top of Hans’s to get his attention, to perhaps assure him, to comfort him. “I promise you,” he said, managing to sound a bit more earnest this time.

It worked, because Hans turned to look at him, and the corners of his lips curled into a smile. It wasn’t his big grin with flashing teeth or polite, practiced noble smile. It was his rare smile, the one he saved for special occasions, the one that traveled all the way up to his eyes and made something stir in the pit of Henry’s stomach. And he couldn’t look at it for one more second, because if he did, he would crumble.

“And everything will be alright,” he added, as he retracted his hand and rose from the bed. He paused long enough to see the way Hans’s smile had twisted into a defeated sadness once more, and it was too much to bear. He needed to leave before the image burned itself into his mind as the last memory he would have of their goodbye.

“I’ll bring the reinforcements…” He started walking toward the door, but suddenly there was a hand closing around his wrist, pulling him around.

Before his mind could register, Hans’s lips were on his. Desperate, frantic, surprisingly soft, warm. For a moment, Henry got lost in it. It felt like when he attempted to swim and was pulled down under. Helpless. Fueled by fear.

And for a second—just a second—he let himself sink.

But then reality came crashing back, throwing him up on shore right on time. He pulled away with a grunt, his brain slowly catching up with what had just happened.

He almost unconsciously backed away from Hans, his thoughts reeling and heart hammering, refusing to settle down, almost like it wanted to tell him something. But instead he turned away fully, trying to make sense of what had happened, why it had happened. He cared for Hans more than he had ever thought possible. These past few weeks had made him realize that. He was obligated to protect Hans, but even if he hadn’t been, he would do anything for him.

Hans was apologizing in the background, but Henry could barely hear him over the thrumming of his own blood. What they shared was deeper than friendship, beyond mere companionship. Hans’s presence—his laughter, his scent, that sharp tongue of his, even his spoiled little pout—sometimes made Henry’s pulse spike. But he had never imagined anything to actually happen, because Hans would go on and on about wenches.

And because it was a sin. Anything else but a husband and wife was unnatural, wrong, condemned. Henry stopped by the door, knowing full well he should leave. But the taste of Hans was still lingering on his lips, making it impossible. It didn’t make sense for it to be wrong, when it had felt the complete opposite, when it had set something alight inside him. This could be the last time they saw each other. He couldn’t leave like that. Not after getting a taste, not after knowing what it felt like to kiss Hans Capon.

It’s a sin—sodomy.

And yet he locked the door, ignoring everything he had been taught to believe. Because whatever he felt for Hans was stronger than his fear of hell and punishment.

Without a word, Henry walked up to him standing by the fireplace, holding onto some wood. He grabbed Hans by his arm, turning him around, the wood falling to the floor with a clattering sound. Henry then caught him by the waist, pulling him closer, their lips meeting in a kiss. The kiss felt different this time, because everything Henry was incapable of saying out loud was poured into it—and Hans responded immediately, wrapping his arms around him like he understood every word. And for a moment, the crucial task Henry had before him was all but forgotten.

It was just the two of them. 

[clare-875]

Why Are You Crying? (Ace x Reader)

_____ Pairing: Ace x Female Reader Summary: Ace accidentally timeslips to the future, Post-Marinford. Warnings: SPOILERS for Marineford, grief, angst, comfort/fluff Notes: The above image does NOT belong to me. [One Piece Masterlist] _____

"What did you do this time Marco?"

Ace groans as he pulls himself to his feet, wiping the sand from himself. "Me? It was you who touched the damned thing-yoi! I told you to be careful!" Marco wretches free of the ground but as the two members of the Whitebeard crew look up, they find themselves in a place completely different to the one they were in just a minute ago.

They and their respective divisions had just been deep in terrestrial rainforests looking for supposed treasures but they now found themselves on a beach; a completely different Island. "How did we get here?" Ace mutters looking to the tropical island that surrounds him.

"It must've been that."

Marco points to the strange sphere object that emits weird waves of light, buried in the sand below them. "Do you think if we touch it again, it will take us back?" Marco asks the raven-haired man who frowns inquisitively at the mess they have found themselves in.

"Beats me."

"Well what are you waiting for, it's the only option we've got."

Ace sighs as he leans forward towards the spherical object with Marco, not looking forward to the twisting feeling he had felt earlier when the sphere had transported him. However, just as the two are about to touch the mystical object, a voice catches them off guard making them flinch away suddenly.

The voice was familiar, and Ace could recognise it from miles away. Instantly a smile widens on his face but when he looks up, he is met with shock.

"... Ace?"

.....

[Several Moments Earlier]

It was now one year after the Marineford incident, and you are in the midst of your training. Luffy had given the crew two years and you have used your time well. Kuma had transported you to a quaint, tropical Island where your mentor taught you skills and tactics you had never even thought of using before. You were strong already, but thanks to them you had grown stronger.

However, despite your progress, you had to admit that your training had faltered along with the shocking news that had travelled the world. You didn't know if you could believe the words in the newspaper in your hands that day, but maybe it was because the truth was too much to endure.

Portgas D. Ace, your love, dead.

Ace.

The grief from the loss was unbearable.

You had grown up with Ace alongside Luffy, but your relationship with the freckle-faced boy had grown into something far deeper than friendship. You had loved him; he had loved you. Despite joining the straw hat crew in the end, it didn't stop that connection.

Though you tried to hide your pain, his death impacted you far worse than others, and even your mentor could see your distracted mind while training, or your irises dark with sadness. His death weighed you down, it tore through your heart and wouldn't leave you in peace. You would find yourself shedding tears often and the clench your despair had around your heart just couldn't seem to loosen.

You weren't there. You weren't there for him.

You couldn't say goodbye.

That was what haunted you the most.

Everyday sleep would taunt you as your raging mind refused to let you rest. You only knew of what had happened days after you had been swept away by Kuma to your island. It was secluded and news rarely carried, but once it had, and once you saw the emboldened title on the paper in your hands, it felt like your world had been stripped from you.

Your Captain had been there, had scraped himself through hell it looked like, and had witnessed the death of his beloved brother. You could only imagine the agony he was in or the grief that had plagued his mind as it did to you now. He was the only one who could understand what it felt like, to lose him.

Ace.

As children, the two of you were almost inseparable and even as Sabo and Luffy joined your group, it did nothing but strengthen the bond between you. The adventures you went on, his unyielding kindness to you, the way he would protect you from harm's way, the way his little face would glow bright red whenever you got too close. The two of you didn't even know what the bubbling feeling inside of you was, but as long as you had the other close, it would never cease to go away.

As you grew older, your crush on the man had only grown. Then, a year before he had embarked on his journey, he had confessed to you. The both of you were young and with young love came the raging emotions of untamed attachment. That year had been bliss to you: training, laughing, holding hands, blushing and kissing. You adored his embrace on cooler nights and adored the way his grin would gleam under the persistent sun.

He was all you could ever need.

Even when you chose to join Luffy's crew, he respected your wishes and his love did not falter. As the three of you embarked on your journeys at different times, he never ceased to come to visit you or write to you letters of his adventures. He was utterly enamoured by you and thought about you each day you were apart and clung to you each day you were in his arms once more; much like you did. Your vivre card was one of his most prized possessions and one he held close to him at all times.

"I'll always find my way to you this way, love."

And his vivre card had been entrusted to your Captain; his brother. If only you had asked for another you could keep. Perhaps then you would've known of the threat to his life so much sooner. Maybe then, you could've done something. Now, you could only imagine what his death must've been like. Luffy had not made contact with you, you knew he probably hadn't made contact with any of the crew apart from the message left in a newspaper a few days after the one on Ace's death.

To meet two years rather than three days later at Sabody.

But despite knowing it was all made with good intention - so that he and the crew could get stronger in that time - you would do anything for a glimmer of an indication that he was okay. You would do anything to know what Ace's last words had been, if his death had been as brutal as the newspapers claim, if he had been happy in his last moments or scared. If he had forgiven you for your absence and understood, or if he held that against you till his dying breath.

Because you did.

You despised that you weren't there. You despise Admiral Akainu for what he has stripped from you. You despise the life you have to go on living without Ace and without your goodbye.

Because that was what you had to do.

Never again would his warm hands caress your skin. Never again would his words ignite in you such adoration you couldn't believe. Never again would his lips touch yours or would you share nights engulfed in the other's presence. All your dreams of a future with him, all his whispers that he would marry you someday, all his promises and your laughs of adoration as he pledged to you were torn to nothingness.

Your tears slip fast past your lashline and your teeth are gritted against each other. How many times had you cried for the man that you loved? You couldn't stop, you don't think you ever could. You felt so alone. God, you felt alone. You didn't even have the simple liberty of looking forward to the next time you see your beloved. Because the next time you do would be decades in the future when you lost your own life to time and age.

"Please..."

You muttered your hopes desperately to the sky, as though looking for any sort of sign that something was out there and that someone would return your beloved Ace to you.

"Please... let me see him one more time..."

"... let me at least say goodbye."

For a long moment, you simply look up to the sky, trying to keep your tears at bay. Silence is all you can hear, and you feel your heart wither at your reality. But then, you hear it.

A familiar voice in the distance, too good to be true.

.....

[Back to the present]

"...Ace?"

Your voice is breathless like the wind was what spoke and not you. 'Ace? It is Ace, right?' You pinch yourself harder than necessary to convince yourself it wasn't another dream. That he was tangible and there and real. But when you look at his warm smile, and delightful surprise at your presence you couldn't stop yourself. You run to him like your life depended on it. Your tears start slipping down your cheeks.

"Ace!"

Your voice breaks, but you don't care because you can feel the warmth he emits as you get closer. You can see the way his arms move wide and welcoming to you, and when you embrace him his scent and heat engulf you. Instantly, you press your ear to his chest and relish the thrumming sound emitting from within him. You relish the way his arms envelop you tight in his embrace, his rumbling laughter against you.

"Damn [y/n], I know it's been a while, but I didn't think you'd miss me that much."

Ace's words are light and teasing as you remember them, but you barely hear them too lost in your shock. Your form trembles under the weight of your tears and sobs suddenly tear through your body. You cling to him tightly, as though he would disappear if you let go for even a second. Your mind is ablaze with only one thought, over and over.

He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.

Ace can feel his lips downturn as your shaking worsens and your hold tightens further. Suddenly he realises that this reunion is nothing like your usual one. Though in his time, only a month had passed since your last meeting, for you, it had been since Alabasta. It was the longest the two of you had been apart even before his death.

Ace knew something was wrong.

"[y/n]?"

His words are shrouded in worry, and his hands anxiously caress your hair as though to soothe you. Surprisingly, it works a little as your sobs die down to gentle tremors when the familiar rhythm brings you back to the present. Ace meets Marco's eyes and he sees the same worry reflecting within them, along with utter confusion. Ace rarely sees you in a state of such despair.

"[y/n]," he mutters gently to you, trying to control the thrumming of his own heart as he looks at your state, worried that you had been harmed or stranded on the Island somehow. But then he thinks of his brother, Luffy, knowing that he would never allow such things to happen to you. But he needs the answers from your own lips.

"[y/n]... why are you crying? What's wrong?"

And that is when you finally look up.

It is Ace's turn to let shock shroud his features as he meets your gaze and you also feel a new surprise envelop you too.

His features were so much younger, and you remember when he looked that way. Still a teenager compared to the man you had last seen. His eyes were still enveloped in youth and nativity, his hair cut slightly shorter, his form less built without the battles he would soon have to face.

Ace looked at you the same way, and his hands trembled slightly as he caressed your hair which had grown far too much since the last time he had seen you. The way your face had become more defined as you grew despite your eyes still shining up at him as they always did. You seemed stronger, surer, and a few years older than the [y/n] he had seen just a month prior.

"[y/n]... why do you seem..."

"Older?" "Younger?"

The two of you speak your thoughts at the same time, your eyes meeting in silent shock and your heart plummeting in grim realisation. That this wasn't the Ace you last saw, Ace wasn't alive, this was a younger Ace who stood before you. But how can that be possible?

"Ace," you murmur, still allowing your gaze to linger on his face and the features you had grieved for the past year. "How long have you been on the Whitebeard crew?" You ask, knowing the answer before he even speaks. "Huh?" Ace looks down at you, shaking free of his own thoughts and answers easily. "It's only been a month? But what has that got to do with-"

"This is the future, Ace. Maybe two or three years?"

You can hear your words out of your mouth, but you can barely believe them yourself. Then your eyes go to the sphere buried in the sand and they widen. You recognised it immediately from Robin's books she used to share with you. It was a sphere that acted as a sort of key between time and space, but it would only exist for several minutes at a time.

Ace would have to return to his time very soon, and when he did, he wouldn't be able to return. 'I have to tell him-'

But when you look up, Ace's lips upturn into a wide and youthful grin. "The future?" Marco grins as well. "I guess we found what we were looking for then," he says as he nods at the sphere. "Didn't think that's what all our searching would get us though, a time-key that only exists for a few minutes? What a waste of time-yoi." They had after all been searching for what they hoped was gold, not an object that would disappear the instant they went back to their time.

"Not a total waste of time," suddenly a warm arm is wrapped around you as Ace pulls you gently into him. His smile shone brighter than the sun when you looked up at him. "Look at how hot my girlfriend is, some things don't change do they baby?" You have to fight not to roll your eyes and smile, but for a moment you forget your grief and are lost in his presence. How easily does he make your worries melt away? How easily can his smile make everything better in this world?

How could you ever let him go?

"Are you sure, you're okay love?" His words are softer, murmured in your ear just for you to hear and suddenly you're fighting your tears again. But you manage to keep them away.

'Do I tell him?'

'Do I?'

'I should tell him, right?'

You meet his kind gaze, his youthful charisma, and his love that is unchanging.

'But how could you tell this man how he dies?'

You swallow harshly, but you find yourself nodding your head in reply.

"Everything's perfect."

He glances at you hesitantly as though he contemplates your words for a moment. But then he decides to trust you. You look at his smile, wide and pushing at freckled cheeks. He seemed so full of life and what's more, he's embracing it. He's not doubting himself or his right to walk the Earth. You had heard the lighthearted banter shared between him and Marco, and you know the Whitebeard crew had granted him what he had been looking for all along: belonging.

You couldn't diminish that light.

It wasn't his time yet, you couldn't rid of his vitality so quickly by selfishly telling him his destiny. He had so much of the world yet to see. He had so much to explore, and so many more memories to make with the you that awaited him in his time. So many fights and treasures to behold. So many more moments to be spent with his bright smile and warmth.

You see the sphere flicker in the sand, a signal that it will soon diminish, and if it did your boyfriend and Marco would be trapped in this time. In a time where he should not exist. The two men also seem to notice, as you feel Ace's hands falter on your skin, and see Marco look up nervously. "We need to go," he picks up the sphere and walks over to you both, waiting for Ace to join him and hold it too.

They only had a minute.

Ace's smile falters only for a second, but he nods; after all, he had the past you waiting for him upon his return. Your smile is sadder than his, but you allow yourself to look up at the man you fell in love with one last time. One last time you felt what it was like to be under the hold of his warm touch. One last time you see the way his eyes flicker with his kindness and wonder and love. One last time you reach out and caress his dark locks, and witness him leaning into your touch.

One last time.

You step forward and he engulfs you in his arms. He murmurs gentle words in your ear. "Tell future me to hurry up, or I'll beat his ass. He must be keeping you waiting too long for you to be crying like this." A lone tear slips past your eye but you smile and laugh softly against his chest. His heat lingers on you as you break away. "I will." You analyse his features, willing yourself to memorise him so that you remember him for the rest of your life.

"Goodbye Ace, I love you... so much."

Ace grins and he presses his lips gently to the top of your head, his hand caressing your face before he pulls away.

"I love you too."

He moves as he reaches Marco's side, both hands enveloping the sphere alongside him. The sphere flickers one more time, and you see one of his hands rise in the air, the shout of his words lingering in the air.

"See you later!"

And just as quickly as he came, he was gone.

You stand still, looking to the spot in the sand as more tears break your lash line, but on your face is a full, bright smile. You can still feel his warmth that had just touched your skin, you can still see the way he smiled as he looked at you. But most of all, your wish had somehow been granted. A miracle you knew many others who had lost someone could only beg for.

One last moment with him: an actual goodbye.

"See you later," you whisper back to the wind, hoping he might be able to hear it across the time and space between you. There is a flicker of light cast on your skin from the sun, a shift in the breeze and a sudden warmth in the air. You look to the sky and imagine his smiling face, believing that he is watching over you.