#Ram and Bheem are still alive

[luxshine]

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: రంగస్థలం | Rangasthalam (2018), జై లవకుశ | Jai Lava Kusa (2017), RRR (2022), Baahubali (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Chelluboina Chitti Babu/Jai Kumar | Raavana, Chelluboina Chitti Babu/Kusa Kumar, Chelluboina Kumar Babu/Kasi, Chelluboina Chitti Babu/Lava Kumar, Alluri Sitarama Raju/Komaram Bheem Characters: Chelluboina Chitti Babu, Jai Kumar | Raavana, Kusa Kumar, Chelluboina Kumar Babu, Kasi (Rangashtalam), Lava Kumar, Mahendra Baahubali | Shivudu, Kattappa (Baahubali), Alluri Sitarama Raju, Komaram Bheem Additional Tags: Dragons, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Dragon shifters, Soulmates, Soulmarks, Chitti Babu is a Water Dragon, Canon-Typical Violence, Deaf Character Series: Part 13 of DRRRagon!Verse Summary:

After the events of Jai, Lava, Kusa, Jai survived but he and his brothers need a peaceful place to rebuild their relationship and get away from the darkness. Kasi, one of Jai's underlings, suggests the town of Rangasthalam, where he grew up. What the triplets didn't expect was to call the attention of the Water Dragon who watched over Rangasthalam.

[enigma-the-mysterious]

This man is kept alive through the power of gay hate

Like even if Bheem missed his heart and ALL his major blood vessels, he should have still pierced his lung. How tf did Ram survive this without at least a hospital trip? Incredible XD

[mad-who-ra]

Dagger and Arrows (16)

Dagger and Arrows 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13 14 15

Well well well, look who still remembers how the keyboard works- Me, that's me, in case you were wondering. I still remember the sentence structure and all- You get it. I am gonna taunt myself before you do. But hey, here's the last chapter. And no, we probably won't have an epilogue since it took me months to write this chapter. But yes, here's the happy ending you all threatened me for. Enjoy.

Ram x (still alive) Wife!Reader

Word Count : 904

Y/N did not remember a lot. She fell in and out of consciousness. She remembered bits and pieces of what happened or what was actually going on. She remembered the pain. She remembered the desperate voice of her husband trying to wake her up. Begging her to open her eyes. She remember him screaming her name, and then Bheem’s when she tried. Bheem- She thought she heard his voice too. The next time she came to, all she saw was fire. It was blurred. She felt the wind caress her wounds. She felt something cold wherever it hurt. Before she could move, darkness surrounded her again. 

When she finally gained enough consciousness to move, she realised her whole body hurt. It took her a lot of efforts to open her eyes. Her vision was blurred. She moved her fingers with last ounce of strength she could muster in her body. It hurt. It hurt to breathe, to move, to open her eyes. Was she dead? Was she in heaven? If it was heaven, why was she still hurting? 

Maybe she was in hell. She would deserve it, knowing what she had done to Bheem and Malli. No amount of pain on earth would be enough to erase her sins.

“Y/N?” She heard a voice she thought she had heard before in a dizzy state of mind, but couldn’t remember who it was. She tried to focus her eyes on the person.

“Ram! She is awake!” The girl shouted before rushing to her side. She helped Y/N into a sitting position, stuffing a blanket between her and the wall. She held a glass of water to her mouth and as the water entered her system, she realised how parched she was. She drank the water slowly, trying not to hurt herself.

“Do you need more?” The girl asked. Y/N blinked. The girl’s face finally came into focus and she realised she had seen her before, in pictures. Seetha. It was Seetha. 

“More water?” She asked again.

Y/N shook her head lightly. It took a lot out of her to actually focus on her surroundings. It was a small room. Probably a tribal hut. Where was she?

“Y/N-” She heard his voice before she looked towards the door. He stared at her as his eyes teared up.

“Bhabhi!” Bheem walked into the room before Ram did. 

“Bh-Bheem!” She croaked out, tears clouding her own vision. He pulled her into a hug, careful as to not hurt her. She held back a wince. She did not want him to let her go and she knew he would as soon as he realised she was in pain.

“I am so sorry.” She started.

He shushed her, holding her to him. He was alive. He was fine. He was not mad at her.

“Malli?” She asked.

“She is fine, everyone is fine.” He said, pulling away to look at her. There were scars on his face. But other than those, he looked fine.

“How, what-”

“We will explain. But not right now, you need rest.” He said. She looked at Seetha.

“I-”

“Not now.” Seetha echoed.

“Rest for a while.” Bheem said, getting up, “We will go tell everyone that you are awake and fine. Everyone is worried about you.” 

With that both of them walked out of the room, leaving Ram standing in the doorway looking at her like she would disappear if he looked away.

She lifted her lips into a small smile. 

“Are you going to stand there?” She asked.

He took hesitant steps towards her. He, like Bheem had scars on his face. But he too, seemed fine otherwise. Healing, at the very least. He was alive. That was a relief.

“How are you?” He asked, settling on the bed beside her. 

“Never been better.” She joked, lightly. He did not say anything for a long time. He did not look into her eyes. His eyes were glued to the bed sheet. She slowly moved her hand to hold his. He very tentatively laced their fingers together as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Ram-”

“I thought I had lost you. In the cell, after we got out. I thought I had lost you on multiple occasions in the last few weeks and I-” He shook his head, “I am so sorry, Y/N. All of this is my fault. I-”

“Hey, hey.” She said, squeezing his hand as tightly as she could. It was not his fault. Both of them were to be blamed. Both of them were trying their best.

“I am so sorry.” He said, again finally looking at her. Her heart broke looking at the tears in his eyes.

She shook her head.

“I am okay. I will be okay.”

“You should rest.” He repeated, “we will talk about this later.”

They will. They will talk about this and a lot of other things. Later, when she is able to get more than a few words out of her system. But right now, she did not need to think about it. Bheem and Malli were fine. Ram and her were alive. That is all that mattered. They were together.

“Don’t go. Stay?” She asked. A thousand emotions flashed in his eyes. She recognised love as he slowly nodded, looking at her. They would talk about this, too. They had an eternity in front of them.

I love each and every one of you

@sada-siva-sanyaasi @manwalaage @maraudersbitchesassemble @gauri-vishalakshi  @rambheem-is-real @seherie @how-is-it-in-london @itsfookingloosah @ma-douce-souffrance​ @irisesforyoureyes @cainiyor @zaddylokiandthorsimp​ @bromance-minus-the-b​ @kafkaesquebestie @hissterical-nyaan @ramayantika @reallythoughtfulwizard @phoenix666stuff @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @obsessedtoafault @budugu @chaanv @nerdreader @pavbhajiofficial @hxnky-pxnky @shawty-writes-a-little @azraelcruor @rambheemisgoated @aasthuu @vidhurvrika @jeonmahi1864 @jjwolfesworld @yehsahihai @voidsteffy @lite-teesko

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[ambiguous-sanskars]

Hey y'all I'm super late to the party but I finally watched RRR and needed to write something~ This is a little canon-divergent post-whipping scene where Ram decides to visit Bheem in his jail cell and tell him everything. First shot at writing anything for this fandom, hope y'all like it!

Read on AO3

“Bheema.”

Bheem jerked awake at that voice - and then immediately regretted it. With consciousness returned the searing pain coursing through every fiber of his body. His bloodstained dhoti clung to his legs, and for some reason that made it hard to breathe. His chafed wrists had begun to heal, and the clotting blood had glued them to the ropes that bound him. He tried tentatively to move an arm and cried out in pain.

“Shh. Your left shoulder is dislocated. Don’t move,  I’ll help you.”

Ram stepped out of the shadows. Bheem struggled against his chains, trying to move away.

“No, don’t-” Ram’s voice cracked. “Bheema, please.”

Bheem froze. “What do you want?”

“I’m trying to help you.”

“Why?”

“They’ll kill you.”

“You- what about Malli? Why didn’t you-”

“I’ll tell you everything. Just let me untie you for a minute. It will help with the pain.”

Bheem stayed still as Ram knelt at his feet, unlocking the cuffs around his ankles. Then Ram stood and pulled out a pocket knife, using it to slowly peel the ropes away from Bheem’s wrists. Bheem choked back a whimper.

“I know, I know it hurts. I’ll be gentle. Lean on me, Bheema. Take deep breaths. You can do it.”

Bheem pressed his forehead into Ram’s shoulder, breathing through clenched teeth. 

Ram decided to distract him by telling him the truth. By the time the second rope had come off, he’d told Bheem everything - his training, his parents’ deaths, his mission, the atrocities he’d committed in the name of liberation. He explained, shamefaced, how he’d used Bheem as a pawn to get this position. He fought down a wave of nausea as he tried to justify not helping Malli sooner.

And then, when he had cut off the last bit of rope and officially run out of reasons to avoid Bheem’s gaze, he looked up.

Bheem was staring at him in horror. Ram didn’t know what else he’d expected.

“So anyway,” Ram continued. “I’m getting you and Malli out of here. I’ll have to kill the governor to do it. He doesn’t suspect me. If it stays that way,  I’ll survive and return for the weapons. If he puts two and two together…” Ram let out a shaky sigh. “God, Bheema, please say something. Anything.”

To Ram’s astonishment, Bheem got to his knees. With his uninjured hand, he clasped Ram’s feet.

“Annayya,” Bheem choked out. “I tried to kill you. Forgive me.”

“Bheema!”

“I did not understand your great purpose. I did not know what you had gone through to get here. At every step I made things harder for you, and you still came back for me. You are so merciful, Annayya, so good-”

“Enough,” Ram managed, fresh tears springing into his eyes. He took Bheem by the shoulders and lifted him to his feet, watching him wince at the injuries Ram had inflicted on him not even a full day earlier. “How can you say such things? And after what I did yesterday?” Ram tenderly brushed a hand over the lash marks on Bheem’s side, causing him to shudder. “If anyone should beg for forgiveness, it is me.”

Bheem shook his head, leaning weakly into Ram’s arms. “Annayya, I should have understood you, like I always have. I should have trusted you. Forgive me.”

Ram brought a hand up to cradle Bheem’s head, trying to steady his own breathing as Bheem sobbed quietly into his shoulder. He would get them out of this alive, Ram vowed. And when he did, he would apologize to Bheem properly. He would make sure that as long as he lived, Bheem never knew pain again.

But for now…

“Bheema,” Ram began, hating what he was about to do. “We have to relocate your shoulder, okay? Will you let me do that?”

Bheem nodded, looking at Ram with implicit trust. It made Ram sick with regret.

“Okay, here, lie down. This is going to hurt, Bheema, but you cannot cry out. There are guards out there not twenty meters from us. If they find me here, neither of us will make it out alive, understand?”

“Annayya…” Bheem whimpered, finally letting fear into his eyes in front of Ram.

Hot tears streamed down Ram’s face, but he knew what he had to do. He climbed over Bheem’s supine body, using his knee to brace Bheem’s clavicle. He positioned his right hand over the dislocated shoulder, and pressed his left hand tightly over Bheem’s mouth. He counted to three and then pushed with all this strength.

Bheem’s body spasmed under his, but Bheem did not cry out. Ram quickly clambered off Bheem and crawled on his hands and knees to a corner of the cell, retching silently. He had committed innumerable acts of torture before, but nothing had ever gotten to him like this.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his cheek.

“Annayya,” Bheem said softly, turning Ram’s face towards himself. He shook his head, wiping away Ram’s tears with a gentleness of which Ram felt wholly undeserving.

Ram got to his feet, taking Bheem’s hands and walking him back to the bloodied chains and ropes. 

“Bheema, I need to tie you back up. Not properly, just enough to avoid suspicion. The ropes will be loose, and I won’t lock any of the cuffs. Tomorrow, when they come to get you, you will be able to break free easily, okay? Remember the plan. Wait until you are by the forest to escape.”

As Ram went about securing the chains, Bheem’s eyes filled with tears.

“Annayya,” he begged, unable to bury emotion with reasoning. “Annayya, don’t leave me here. Please don’t leave me.”

Ram made a wounded sound. His hands continued fastening the ropes.

“Annayya, I swear I will listen to everything you say. Have mercy, take me with you.”

“Quiet, Bheema.”

“Annayya, I’m sorry. Forgive my past transgressions. Don’t punish me by leaving me here alone. Annayya, please!”

Ram dropped the ropes in agony, gathering Bheem into his embrace. Bheem clung to Ram’s trembling frame, understanding how Malli must have felt when he left her behind. Understanding how utterly helpless Ram must be feeling now. He took a deep breath.

“Go,” Bheem whispered into Ram’s shoulder.

Ram pulled back, taking Bheem’s face in his hands. He pressed a long kiss to Bheem’s forehead. Then he stepped out of the cell and locked it.

Ram gripped the metal bars and caught Bheem’s teary gaze.

“Bheema, do you trust me?”

“Always, Annayya.”

“Then believe me when I say that this time tomorrow, you and Malli will be free.”

Ram turned to leave.

“Annayya, that is not enough.”

Ram froze.

“Promise me you will be with us.”

“Bheema-”

“Swear it. Swear it on my life.”

“Bheema!”

“Please, Annayya. I will never ask you for anything else. Just this. Just you.”

As long as he lived, Ram thought, he would never understand what he had done to deserve Bheem. He reached through the bars and placed his hand on Bheem's head. 

“I swear I will be with you. All three of us will make it out of this alive. And then, Bheema, I will see to it that suffering never touches you again.”

With that, Ram turned and disappeared into the night.

______________

@fangirlshrewt97 your writing for this fandom inspired me to try so I figured you might be interested? Please lmk if you don't want to be tagged!

[fangirlshrewt97]

Story Summary - RRR x ATLA AU

Hey guys, another story summary. I have a lot of ideas I want to write, but I am also feeling slightly frustrated with lack of responses. Like I’m screaming into the void. I know that in the last few months we have been lucky to have so many new people join the fandom, but because of the increased number of works, I am also seeing this almost apathy/works getting taken for granted. Real life takes priority, but if anyone else has noticed many previously active people in the fandom have gone quiet, I do wonder if this is one reason. I am definitely feeling it. 

Anyways, that’s just my opinion. Here is the ATLA AU story summary I had written way back when. It’s not very detailed and I did stick close to the plot of the movie, but it’s just food for thought. 

///

For context about the Avatar: The Last Airbender universe, the population is divided into four nations that each have an affinity over one of the elements (Air, Water, Earth, Fire). Of the general population, a smaller subset have the ability to "bend" or manipulate their element of affinity, and can train to strengthen their skills. In addition to control over the "raw" elements, each element also has a special ability associated with it (Air -> Oxygenbending; Water -> Bloodbending; Earth -> Metalbending; Fire -> Lightingbending). While each individual only has affinity for one element, every generation an "Avatar" is born who is capable of learning mastery over all four elements. The "nation" of birth for the avatar also cycles, so if in one generation they are born an Airbender, then in the next they are a Waterbender, and so on. The "Avatar" is typically the strongest bender alive for this reason, and discovers their ability to bend other elements in late childhood.

Ok onto the story. Let's modify these rules just a bit, so that while there are people who can bend who have an affinity to a single element, the strongest also have an affinity for a second element. And the Avatar is not one individual per generation, but there are a handful.

Let's keep the movie's plot the same, but now we have a Bheem who grew up as an extremely powerful and natural waterbender, with a strong affinity for earthbending as well. He never tries to bend either of the other two elements, because in the forests, Water and Earth are the most important elements anyways. And none of the tribespeople think about the possibility Bheem might be an "Avatar" because the last time an "Avatar" was born among them was a couple centuries ago.

Let's also have a Ram who is a very talented Firebender, but who downplays his abilities in front of the British. True that if she showed his power he could have a better chance of getting a promotion. But the British are not total idiots, and are very wary of the Indian benders, not hesitating to lock away any bender who shows even the slightest threat against them. So Ram keeps his abilities hidden, never doing more than the occasional fireball or providing light during night time escorts.

When the child is in danger after the train explosion, the men still stage their rescue, with a little subtle aid from their elements. Ram concentrates on the flames that surround Bheem to make sure he is not burned. He doesn't realize that the fire couldn't burn Bheem anymore than him. In the water, Bheem propels them to land without Ram the wiser. Their friendship remains the same, though Bheem only reveals his Earthbending to Ram, who in turn shows his simplest Firebending tricks.

Good things with so many secrets involved can never last, and the Interval fight has to happen eventually. The battle is a true fight with both of them showing all their prowess for bending. Ultimately the outcome is the same. Even if there is one moment when Ram is walking towards an injured Bheem on the ground, and the flames seem to listen to Bheem instead of him. He must have been imagining things.

During the whipping scene, the leaf blowing directly onto Bheem's cheek when he was thinking so hard of his tribe is not a result of coincidence, but accidental bending. The platform seems to shake as the Earth quakes with each strike of the whip upon her child's flesh.

When Ram revists the platform that night, the earth beneath his feet seems to still burn with the heat of the sun where Bheem's blood has soaked the soil. Deciding to help Bheem escape, making his survival Ram's new mission is the easiest choice he has made in a long time.

As Malli runs from them all, Ram pursues her, wanting to make sure she reaches Bheem safely. As he runs out of bullets, he creates a fireball for the Britisher aiming his gun at her. From Bheem's perspective, he sees Ram with fire in his hands running straight at Malli. He redirects the fireball, so that it blasts back onto Ram's face. His anger takes over as he starts to create fireballs and throw them at Ram till he gets to him. He is still unable to stab him, instead pinning him to the ground with shackles buried in the soil. He picks up Malli and runs as fast as he can, feeling the air beneath his feet nearly letting him fly. He does not look back.

Ram realizes Bheem is not just an above average bender, but one of those legendary Benders with the ability to control all four elements. A kind of weapon the Britishers could never properly defeat.

Ram then gets imprisoned, and Bheem goes into hiding. He meets Sita (an Airbender), and gets to know Ram's backstory. For Ram's side, the prison cell they throw him in an ice-box style cell that is specifically meant to surpress the bending ability of Firebenders by keeping them on the verge of hypothermia. The rescue and the subsequent fight are twice as badass as before as both boys unleash their full bending abilities on the soldiers. The climax fight features fire bending Ram, but in that final scene where he confronts Scott, he teaches Bheem not just how to fire the gun, but to do Firebending.

The movie ends with them reuniting with their compatriots with the weapons. But instead of Bheem asking Ram to teach him how to read, it had Ram asking Bheem if he would be willing to join the fight. That he knows it is not fair to ask of Bheem, but with his powers, he cannot not ask either. Bheem has a minute of hesitation, because he still has his mission to fulfill, but looking at Malli, he also knows he never wants another child to go through what she has gone through. He tells Ram that once he has returned Malli to her family, he will come to Ram's village and train with him (and Sita) to learn about Firebending and Airbending, as well as bring a few other benders from his tribe who can help them.

Then they go on to train and become even more badass. Plus they kick a lot of Britishers's asses, and really what more could you ask for?

///

@rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @fangirl-from-discord @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864  @stanleykubricks @m3gs1mps4a @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @ssabriel @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff @veteran-fanperson @ohfuckoffpls @bheemaxrama @chaidrivenwhore @gifseafins @keyhunter04 @umbrulla

[gifseafins]

Chapter 1

I hope you like the first chapter of my first fic Bheem and Jenny. This baby is so young he doesn't even have a name yet. That's right, this fic still hasn't got a name, ideas? I got it @ronaldofandom​ hope you like it!

.

.

That day was certainly a day of extreme learning and discoveries for me. Through Lachu, I could learn the truth about Malli's life and the cruelty my uncles imposed on their tribe. Through Bheem's foster family and friends, learn the truth about her life. Through Sita, learning the truth about Ram and the deep pain he has carried since he was a child. . The hours that all of us stood on that hill, just waiting, hoping to see Bheem and Raju safe and alive again seemed endless. But that time served to show me how small and silent I was in the face of everything that happened around me. . I was wrong not to question my aunt about the child's origin in our house and why she was in a room with bars and being constantly watched. If I didn't believe that Indians were just "brown savages" as they said, why in god's name did I allow people in my house to think that about a child? . I was wrong not to have noticed the desperation in Bheem's eyes when he was in my house, mistakenly believing that all that emotion was just curiosity for a new world before him. When Malli's singing echoed through the halls, I was so used to it that I didn't even react, I was so frustrated at not being able to talk to Bheem properly that I didn't realize the desperation in his actions upon hearing the same chant. . I was wrong in not questioning myself more about Raju's presence and authority, nor the ease with which he could enter anywhere. The invitation to the Gymkhana Club party was just for Bheem, how did he also get past the guards at the gate? And how did the women at the party know his name? He shouldn't know anyone in the palace... . But I didn't care or question anything that happened around me. Always safe in my pink world, where everything was accessible and perfect. . And there, on that hill and among those flowers, as we all waited for Bheem and Raju to return, I made a decision. . I would no longer be the helpless and uninformed damsel! I would not allow children to be hurt in front of me! I would no longer allow myself to be used as a torture toy by others, because that was my uncles' intention when they dragged me onto the dais during Bheem's flogging. . -If he looks at us, even for a minute and sees you there, he will understand that he is nobody compared to you. -And never again will he dare to take with anyone the freedom he dared to take with you. -He will never dare to deceive another girl again. . And for sure, I would no longer hold back my urge to spit in the face of anyone who dared to say something like what my uncle had said to me that day. I wasn't a victim, I wasn't tricked. I wanted to be with Bheem! I wanted to get on his motorcycle! I wanted to walk with him that afternoon! I wanted him to come to the party! I wanted to dance with him! I wanted to take it to my house! And god knows, if it weren't for the exaggerated modesty I was raised with, I would really have had everything I wanted that day... . Everyone was alerted to the sound of a car approaching that place. And everyone was surprised by the presence of a truck coming towards us. But everyone exploded with joy when they saw that Bheem was driving that truck, and that he was not alone, Raju was there with him. That they were both alive and safe! . When Bheem came to thank me for all the help I'd given him in giving him the prison maps, and in the search for Lachu. Bheem reached his hand out to me. Always polite and kind, never crossing any type of barrier without proper authorization! . And the old Jenny would have accepted that gesture, and gratefully. But the new Jenny wanted a hug, and she was going to get one! With a certain abruptness I took her hand away and pulled him to me. And the moment he hugged me back, the joy in me was so great, that if God decided to kill me at that moment, I would die happy! . I loved this man from the beginning! Since before I knew who he was... Since before he knew what he really wanted... And before I even knew from Peddayya, why Bheem was always hanging around the palace. That in the beginning, it was to look for information about Malli, but later, it was for the hope of being able to see me again! . And despite all the banter this truth generated in our group, my favorite part was when after hearing this, Malli proceeded to call me Jenny akka. Malli started calling me sister! . My family had a small property in that region. The house was considered so small that my uncles simply ignored its existence. Believing that disuse will leave the house in ruins and uninhabitable. But again, and lucky for us, they were wrong. . And the house was certainly small by English standards, but it was perfect for us. Perfect for that moment! Perfect for giving everyone what they needed most. A good night's sleep, peaceful and safe. . The tall weeds that surrounded the house made the perfect camouflage available. But that didn't stop Bheem and the others from creating various sound traps to warn them if anyone came near the house. And not even establishing watch shifts to ensure everyone's safety. A small argument arose between the men when Mr. Ahmed suggested that Bheem and Raju be off the roster. . -My son didn't even have time to recover from his imprisonment and torture and had to use his last strength in this escape. -And the same for Raju, or do you think I didn't notice, that my son changed the medicine in his legs four times in the last twenty minutes? -Both need to rest, and more than any of us! . -Mister Ahmed is right! . Peddayya's voice and the authority contained in it, drawing everyone's attention. . -Bheem is strong, he always was, that's why he is our protector. -But he is also human and his body has already reached its limit several times in the last few days. -And the same for you Raju, it's no use changing the medicine all the time. -If you don't rest, and give yourself some down time, you run the risk of turning that pain into something continuous, and carrying it with you forever. . The silence that followed this truth, only broken by the voice of Mrs. Fátima. . -Everything settled here? -The food is ready ! . And while everyone was enjoying the meal made by Sita and Mrs. Fatima, a feeling of uselessness again hit me hard. I couldn't help with the traps like Sita. What did I understand about battles anyway? I couldn't help with meal prep as everyone else did in some way. Whether cooking, or searching among the trees for condiments and seasonings. What did I understand about cooking? . After all, what did I understand about serving others? The perfect English maiden, always asking and never thanking anyone for anything... I stared at my plate for a few minutes. Plunged into my own anguish. Trying somehow to really understand my role in this story full of heroes. . I was so distracted by my own misery that I didn't even notice Malli's approach until she sat down next to me and started talking to me. In her hands, the bracelet that Bheem made in the market for me to give her. Another proof of how ignorant I was about the world around me. Malli's emotion when looking at that bracelet was not something normal, and I didn't even question myself as to why... . జెన్నీ అక్క. మీరు నాకు ఆ బ్రాస్లెట్ ఇచ్చినప్పుడు మీకు గుర్తుందా? దానిపై చె���్కబడిన ఈ చిత్రా��న్నీ మీకు కనిపిస్తున్నాయా? అన్నయ్య తన చేయి మరియు కాలుపై ఇవే డిజైన్లను టాటూలుగా వేయించుకున్నాడు. ఇవి గోండు రక్షకుని గుర్తులు. ఇవన్నీ అన్నయ్య మచ్చిక చేసుకున్న అడవి జంతువులు. మరియు అన్నయ్య నిన్ను విశ్వసిస్తే అతను చుట్టూ ఉన్నాడని నాకు సందేశం పంపండి. ఎందుకంటే మీరు నమ్మకమైన వ్యక్తి, న్యాయమైన ఆత్మ మరియు మంచి హృదయంతో ఉన్నారు. అందుకే ఆ రోజు నిన్ను కౌగిలించుకున్నాను. అన్నయ్య నిన్ను నమ్మితే నేనూ! . Sita must have understood my expression of confusion at Malli's speech. Because she wasted no time approaching us and translating each of her words. . -Jenny akka. -Do you remember when you gave me that bracelet? -Do you see all these drawings that are engraved on it? -Annayya has these same designs tattooed on her arm and leg. -These are the marks of the Protector of Gond. -These are all the jungle animals annayya has ever tamed. -And if annayya trusted you to send me the message that he was around. -It was because you were a trustworthy person, with a fair soul and a good heart. -And that's why I hugged you that day. -If Annayya trusts you, I trust you too! . -And I have never erred in my judgments! . Bheem's voice and her perfect smile bring tears to my eyes. Making me fall in love with him even more. . -Yeah, sure, you've never been wrong before. . The irony in Lachu's voice as he nodded his head at Raju brought a smile to everyone's faces. Except Raju's! Any expression of happiness completely disappearing from his face, with the truth behind that irony shown by Lachu. But before Raju could say anything Lachu's voice was heard by everyone. . -Don't even think about it soldier. -Don't you dare apologize to me, not again! -I already told you, I heard your story and understand your actions. -But I'm not ready to forgive you. -Not yet ! -I promise not to kill you, but I won't forget what happened so easily. . -Sleep with one eye open for good measure. -Lachu is terrible at keeping promises. . Jangu's sentence broke the tension that that moment had created. . And little by little, everyone returned to their meals. Enjoying, not just the food on their plates, but the silence and peace they hadn't experienced in a long time. Not for an instant while eating did Bheem allow his attention to stray from Jenny. Having her there, with him, in that moment... Seeing how well she gets along with her friends, her family, with Malli... At that moment, Bheem had only one desire in his heart. That he could keep Jenny by his side forever! . The division over who would sleep where was resolved more easily than Jenny thought. The house had 3 bedrooms. One room would only be for the women, Jenny, Sita, Mistress Fatima, Mehreen and Malli Both Malli and Mehreen, who up to that point had become great friends, loved the idea. . One room would go to Raju and his uncle. And that same room ended up by accident, turning into a medical center. Raju's knees were not showing any signs of improvement. The English had been particularly vicious in their aggression. Making sure the nerves and tendons were stretched to near breaking point. If not for the poultice Bheem had administered to Raju after his escape. There was a high chance that he would have died from the pain or fever caused by the infection. . Because of this, all the herbs and medicinal preparations that were with Peddayya ended up being placed there. Mr. Venkateswarulu, Raju's uncle, was extremely interested in preparing the medicines. And he and Peddayya spent several hours talking and exchanging medicinal knowledge. . And the last room would belong to Bheem and Mr. Ahmed. But Mr. Ahmed, to everyone's surprise, said he didn't want a separate room. That he would be sleeping in the doorway of the women's room to give them even more protection. Which left the room just for Bheem... As for the rest, they would sleep in the living room. Which would also make it easier when changing shifts during surveillance. . -Then that's it ? -Does Bheem sleep alone in a closed room? -Can we escape the torture of your snoring? . Jangu's joke brought a smile to everyone's face. But even the joy of that moment didn't save him from receiving a pillow thrown by Bheem in his face. As night approached, everyone slowly started to go their separate ways. With the men taking their places on watch and the rest going to sleep. . But it didn't matter what Jenny did. She just couldn't sleep... Jenny didn't know how hard she had fought to be born from her mother's womb. But that night, in order to be reborn, she was fighting a lot! . Everything she knew, everything she learned about the world. Coming into direct conflict with the reality of the world around her. Each class, each step, each modesty and modesty... All falling to the ground, and being crushed under the feet of a new woman. A new Jenny! . And this new Jenny knew exactly what, and who, she wanted. As quietly as possible, so as not to wake the women, Jenny left the room. Taking care not to step on Mr. Ahmed, as he had long promised her, and he was sleeping next to the door of the women's room. Holding back the urge to laugh, discovering that the snoring she could hear, when she was still in the room, belonged to Jangu. . Jenny took a few minutes in front of the room where Raju was. Admiring in silence the scene she had seen inside. Raju was lying on his bed peacefully. And his uncle was beside him, sleeping sitting on a chair. One of his hands, resting protectively over his nephew's head. . And Jenny couldn't help but wonder how many times he must have done this. With Raju's childhood, or rather the lack of it. How many times has this man been the protective hand over his nephew? Taking you away from your fears, whether they were real or nocturnal? . Getting to Bheem's room only took a few minutes, but for Jenny it took forever. The door was ajar and Jenny could see Bheem sleeping peacefully in his bed. She quietly entered the room, locking the door behind her. . -Jenny ? . When Bheem's voice sounded behind her, Jenny knew there was no turning back. And even if one were heard, Jenny would ignore it. A new woman was born that night and she was desperate for life. Of being free to love, regardless of who she loved. Of being loved, regardless of who she herself was. And it was time to let this new Jenny live!!!!

[milla984]

Title: Put that baby spell on me

Creator: Milla984

Giftee: @boochhaan

Prompt: fluff, soft, cute

Relationships: Bheem + Malli + Ram

Rating: General audiences

Warnings/Tags: Modern AU

@celebrrration Holiday Swap 2022

“You said it was an emergency.”

Bheem lets out an impatient sigh as he keeps the door of his apartment open. “What does it look like to you?”

“A toddler,” Ram replies, his gaze continuously wandering from Malli’s tiny figure to the giant standing beside her. When she’s not trying to hide her face she’s peeking at him with her dark, wide eyes, squeezing Bheem’s leg so hard she resembles a barnacle glued to an underwater rock. 

“Well, there’s not a big difference,” Bheem groans, reconsidering his life decisions for the hundredth time in the last few hours.

Ram doesn’t even flinch. “Where’s Loki?”

“Business trip,” Bheem explains, “but the babysitter didn’t show up. She was desperate for help and asked me to take care of Malli until she comes back, tonight.”

“I still don’t see why I’m here,” Ram replies with a confused frown.

Bheem takes a short pause before answering. “I need you to stay with her while I get a few things.”

The sudden realization of what’s really going on turns Ram’s face into the textbook definition of shock and terror - the same state Bheem’s going through the entire morning. “What things?!”

“Oh, I don’t know... age-appropriate food, maybe?” Bheem struggles to control his urge to punch him, out of sheer frustration. “Orange juice? Milk and Parle-G? Right now all I have is leftover chilli chicken.”

“Why can’t you take her?”

“She likes to go ‘exploring’ if you’re not paying full attention to her,” Bheem sighs again, exhausted: shopping for groceries with an infant in tow is something he doesn’t have enough strength for, not today. “Listen, she’s got her Happy Animals coloring book and crayons. Just make sure she stays alive for half an hour… please?!”

With Malli still clinging to Bheem’s leg, Ram is not sure this is an ideal solution but he doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter; besides, Bheem is giving him his best puppy-dog eyes expression, a technique he’s skillfully mastered to perfection. “Fine,” Ram grumbles in a low tone.

Bheem finally relaxes and smiles, gently patting the girl’s head; she stares at him, scared and wary of the brooding man in front of her, but Bheem nods and smiles for a second time. “Ram is our friend, it’s okay.”

A solid minute passes before Malli decides to let go of his trousers to raise a tiny hand towards Ram, who in return seems equally hesitant to take it and moves a cautious step forward only when Bheem is ready to leave. “I’ll be back in forty-five minutes, max.” 

Ram is tempted to follow along but forces himself to remain calm: not even his extensive training could prepare him to embark on such a hazardous mission. He then closes the door and puffs, struggling to find the right words to speak to a child. 

“Sooooo… you like… animals?”

                ���°•∘ɷ∘•°✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

It takes Bheem exactly twenty-seven minutes to run to the nearest grocery shop, grab some food and run back to his apartment; an easier task than expected, because once his mind clears a bit he remembers he used to love rice kheer, potatoes, roasted vegetables and mango dhal as a child. The fact that they’re also relatively easy to cook makes him fill his cart at superhuman speed and rush to the cashier, his heart pounding in his chest.

When he walks into the living room the first thing he notices is an unnerving silence, then Malli’s high-pitched voice echoes from the kitchen. “Blue.”

She’s sitting on a pile of cushions on a chair, her bare feet dangling up and down, and she’s pointing at the image of a silly faced horse in her coloring book - because she’s not the one doing the actual coloring. 

“Brown,” suggests Ram.

“Blue.”

“Horses are not—”

“BLUE,” she cuts him off, resolute.

“Alright, alright. What do I know about horses, after all,” Ram laughs and picks up the blue crayon, now convinced that arguing with a toddler is - indeed - useless.

Bheem puts the shopping bags on the counter, amazed by the unusual event he’s witnessing: even though Ram can be one of the most dangerous men in the world when he’s holding a gun, he’s letting a two-year-old girl boss him around without batting an eye. “Are you two getting along well?” 

Malli sees him and a split second later she’s climbing off the chair. “Anna!!” she shrieks, running towards him.

Bheem scoops her up to holds her in his arms while Ram stands awkwardly, the crayon still between his fingers. “I was… uhm, she’s still alive, see?!”

“I’m impressed,” Bheem replies, “and if I had to guess I’d say you were having fun.”

“Pfft, as if,” Ram shakes his head in denial while he lets the blue pencil fall on top of all the others, scattered on the table. “Have you got your age-appropriate food?!” 

Bheem nods and Ram rolls his eyes in response. “Thank goodness,” he mutters, grabbing his jacket; Malli whines and squirms to let Bheem know she wants him to put her down, so that she can tug at Ram’s trousers with both hands.

Ram shrugs. “I’m sorry, kid, I have to go. I was only filling in for the one who’s in charge.”

“Actually,” Bheem jumps in, “it’s lunch time but lunch is not ready. How about you two keep on doing... whatever it was you were doing, and I cook us something? Potato soup is okay?” 

The small girl doesn’t really answer but judging by the way she’s hugging Ram’s leg she’s not ready to exchange goodbyes yet, and Bheem smiles to himself. “I take that as a yes.”

Malli raises her big eyes to beg of her new friend to stay a little longer. “Did you learn this from him, huh?!” Ram asks when Malli drags him back to the kitchen table and he’s forced to admit he fell for the same puppy-dog trick twice. 

He turns to Bheem, whispering: “I swear... a single word about this with anyone and you’re a dead man.”

[ronaldofandom]

A Love Eternal / Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

This is a post-RRR series. I have often wondered what happens to them after the last scene - this is my take on it.

Main characters will be Ram, Bheem, Jenny, Sita and Malli. This will be angst and love and fluff (I am on a break from smut).

No warnings for Chapter 1. ~3700 words. The series will have 6-7 chapters. Happy reading :)

.................................................................................

Chapter 1

(Links to Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11)

The reunion had been cheerful and poignant. There was not a single dry eye when Bheem showed up with Ram as he had promised. And with weapons, like Ram had promised. Sita and Babai held Ram in a tight embrace - they thought they had lost him for good this time, with no scope of returning. They held him close, soaking in his presence, making their heart believe that this was indeed their Ram. In flesh and blood. Alive and kicking - not lifeless. Their gratitude for Bheem knew no bounds.

Bheem. Who had been mauled by Malli, his tribesmen, and his Delhi family the moment they laid eyes on him. Malli had straightaway gone and jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. The others also enveloped him in a group hug. The last few hours had been nerve-wracking for them. They hadn’t stopped him when he set off to free Ram all by himself. They didn’t have the heart to. And they knew he wouldn’t listen anyway. But the thought of him getting captured and tortured again had eaten away at them. The tears flowed freely as they were reunited with their dear Bheem.

Jenny was watching everything from the sidelines. The two families welcoming their loved ones back. Desperately checking for injuries. The silent prayers, the lingering hugs, the shining eyes, the hopeful smiles. She was witnessing the outpouring of love and could feel the warmth from afar. Her eyes never left Bheem, though. The name still felt a bit strange on her tongue. She had known him as Akhtar - innocent, sweet, charming Akhtar. She had such fond memories of Akhtar. But all hell had broken loose the night she first met Bheem. Her world had turned upside down since then. She knew fully well though that her anguish was nothing compared to Bheem’s or Malli’s or the rest of them. Her suffering was emotional (and a lot milder), but theirs was brutally physical too. They were fighting for their right to live with respect and to preserve their way of life. Which the vile British empire was intent on destroying. She had always been critical of colonialism but since the incident with Bheem, she detested it with a vengeance. She detested everyone responsible for Bheem’s suffering. Including Ram, to an extent.

Her tribulations came to a halt when she saw Bheem walking towards her. Finally. She had patiently waited for her turn, and finally, he had looked at her. Jenny reminded herself that it was a happy occasion - she should keep her emotions in check and welcome him with a smile. Relieved beyond measure to see him come back in one piece, she walked towards him and met him halfway. They hesitated. And then, he sweetly extended his hand toward her. She shook her head - that wasn’t enough. It won’t suffice. She needed to touch him, to feel him close to her, to believe that he had come out of it alive. So she hugged him and felt his arms go around her instantly. The hug was brief, but it was comforting. They held hands afterward, and Bheem smiled at her - expressing with his eyes his immense gratitude for everything Jenny had done for them. 

Everyone noticed the hug. Everyone. Malli and Ram were the first to smile. Followed by Bheem’s Delhi family. His tribesmen looked at them quizzically - it was a strange sight for them; they had never seen their Anna like this. Sita was curious - she whispered to Ram to enquire about Jenny, and Ram told her the full story. Both of them were sweetly oblivious to everyone’s gaze, though. Jenny did feel multiple pairs of eyes on her, but quite frankly, she didn’t care at that moment. She would have her few precious moments with him; to hell with the world.

The group decided to stay put that day so that the two men could recover. Their injuries were severe, and they were in no condition to travel. They set camp close by and settled in. Jenny had carried some medical supplies with her, anticipating that those would be needed after the escape. And she was right. They were needed badly. In their adrenaline rush, the two men hadn’t realized how terribly they were hurt. Ram had fresh wounds from the two months of captivity. And Bheem’s older wounds had barely healed while he got new ones last night. As the group spread out to tend to specific tasks like planning logistics for tomorrow, keeping watch for any incoming threats, cooking, etc., Jenny took out the supplies and handed half of them to Sita, explaining a few intricacies to her. She understood immediately and went to tend to Ram. 

When Jenny looked for Bheem and couldn’t find him anywhere, she panicked. Her first thought was that someone had retaken him, and their location had been compromised. Just then, she heard that unmistakable voice and tune. Her PTSD nearly kicked in - it was the same tune that Bheem had sung on the day of the flogging. But while that was filled with defiance and pain, this was filled with sweetness and love. She followed the sound - it was coming from a bit ahead in the forest. She reached a clearing, and the sight ahead melted her heart. Malli was sitting in Bheem’s lap, hugging him tightly. He was rocking her back and forth and humming this happy tune, gently brushing her hair and kissing the top of her head. The girl was still traumatized clearly - the thought of losing her Anna another time was too much for her to bear. She wanted to soak in the comfort of his presence and proximity. His arms were the only place she had felt safe in since this ordeal had begun. The tranquility and peace on Bheem’s face was evident - having been reunited with his people and finally getting to fulfill the promise of taking Malli home. 

They both noticed her at the same time, and Malli ran to her. Jenny had been her only source of comfort in her captivity, the only one who had cared for her, the only one who had any iota of humanity. And Bheem had just told her how she helped them escape. Malli’s heart was filled with love for Jenny, and she wrapped her arms around her waist. Jenny bent down to her knees and hugged her. When they parted, Malli kissed her cheek, and Jenny kissed her back. The girl ran away happily, waving goodbye to her Anna, leaving the two of them alone. It was the first time they had been alone since she had invited him for coffee in her room. When he was still Akhtar for her…

Battling those thoughts away, Jenny sat next to where he was sitting on the fallen tree log and opened the medical kit. When he started to protest, she shut him down instantly. When he tried to do it himself, she swatted his hands away and asked him to take off his kurta. He hesitated, but she coaxed him, and he finally relented. She had steeled herself mentally for his wounds, but nothing could ever prepare her for what she actually saw. His body was a testament to the horrendous torture he had undergone. His skin was split at many places - new patches of skin appearing over older wounds. Most bruises had started to heal, but some were still inflamed. The worst affected were his wrists and ankles - the cuts & lacerations there were still deep and fresh. The scars will be inevitable and permanent. His skin will forever be a witness to what he had to endure. Even if the physical wounds heal someday, the mental trauma will stay with him forever. Images of that god-awful day flashed before her eyes - his clothes dripping with blood, his body limp & lifeless, pools of blood at his feet. She didn’t know whether he would survive the next hour. It was the worst day of her life. Ridden with shame and guilt, she found herself unable to meet his eyes. Could she have done anything? She could have tried, at least. She doubted very much that her uncle would have cared for her feelings, but he might have cared for her money - that’s the reason they insisted on keeping her with them in India. Maybe that could have swung his decision - but she just stood on that balcony like a lifeless little doll and didn’t even lift a finger for him. Forget meeting his eyes; she had fallen so far in her own eyes. This was going to haunt her forever.

Jenny hadn’t realized that her hand was frozen mid-air, and some stubborn tears had escaped her eyes, despite her best efforts. Bheem, who was observing her carefully throughout, understood the source of her anguish immediately. That’s the reason he was reluctant to show her his wounds. He hadn’t shown it to anyone in the last 2 months - tending to them himself. To avoid the exact reaction that he was witnessing on Jenny’s face. But the girl had a way of getting through to him - it was hard to say no to her. He gently wiped the tears from her face and held her hands in his - making her look into his eyes. Trying to tell her that he was better now, that it didn’t hurt as much anymore.  Trying to tell her that he would forever be indebted to her - she had helped save Malli and his Anna; that was as good, if not more, than saving his own life. Trying to tell her that her tears were hard for him to bear.

She calmed down after a bit and started to tend to his wounds. He sat patiently, letting her take care of him, for her sake more than his. She carefully applied the antiseptic to all open wounds. It was a strong gel, and she worried it would burn, but he didn’t let out a single sigh. Thankfully, the new injuries weren’t much, and she managed to nurse and bandage them soon. Once done, they smiled at each other and returned to the camp.

The rest of the day passed without much event. Ram, who was significantly more injured, had managed to regain some strength. Ram, Bheem, and Babai were currently going over the logistics for tomorrow, discussing the safest routes to get to their respective destinations. Jenny was sitting in one of the tents, observing them from a distance. As always, Bheem had been the life of that small gathering, too - breaking into giggles and joking with Ram. The two men had hugged and made up; it was as if nothing had ever happened between them. Bheem had also ensured everyone was kind to Ram and that there was no bad blood. The only one he gave some leeway to was Lachchu - he didn’t expect him to forgive Ram so easily. Lachchu continued to be wary of Ram and kept some distance from the group. But he didn’t have the heart to say no to his Anna - so he tried his best to be civil with Ram, for Bheem’s sake. 

‘I wanted to thank you.’ Jenny turned around to see Sita standing close by. She walked to her tentatively and sat down next to her.

‘Thank me? For what?’ She asked with genuine surprise. She had spent the day filled with guilt and remorse. Thanks was the last thing she had expected to hear.

‘For everything, Jenny. For the medicines. For defending Ram and Bheem at your party. For the kindness that you showed them throughout. For taking care of Malli. And, for helping my Ram escape the jaws of death.’ Her voice broke at the last bit.

‘And, for offering to travel with us to our village to mitigate the risk of us getting apprehended midway. It was smart thinking - the patrols will not stop the vehicle if they see you.’ Sita reached out and held Jenny’s hand, pressing it ever so slightly.

‘Sita, there is no need to thank me. Even if I try helping out for the next 1,000 years, it won’t compensate for what you guys have been through. Because of….well, my people.’ She hated to call them her people. She hated that she was associated with them in any way. ‘It’s the absolute least that I can do, believe me.’ Sita smiled at her. She could see why the two men and Malli were singing her praises.

‘Would you still thank me, though, if I tell you that I tried my best to stop Bheem from entering the barracks last night? I told him it was too dangerous - that he would most certainly get captured. Or killed on the spot. I tried every form of emotional and physical blackmail to reason with him. But he didn’t listen. He kept repeating that he had misunderstood his Anna and would save him at any cost - even if the cost was his own life. He said he had made a promise - to return Ram to you. I gave up; I had to.’ Jenny looked at Sita, expecting to find reproach and hurt in her eyes, but all she saw was warmth and understanding.

‘I get it, Jenny. You did that to protect Bheem. I might have done the same if I were in your place. All is fair in love and war, after all.’ She smiled at her knowingly, and Jenny looked away, unable to meet her gaze. Her eyes landed on the two men again, who were lost in their own world. Sita spoke after a few moments. 

‘You get why Ram did it, though, don’t you? Why he had to arrest Bheem and….the atrocities he had to commit? He was not this person - but time and circumstances have hardened his heart. So much that no one could make his way inside, not even me. But then came Bheem, and the rest is history.’ Sita’s eyes were brimming with love; Jenny could see that the emotion could spill over any second.

‘Sita, I am the last person in this world you guys owe any explanation to, seriously. After everything my people have..�� 

‘Stop calling them your people, Jenny.’ Sita cut her off abruptly. ‘You are nothing like them. One can’t control where one is born. But one can control the person one becomes - and you are a beautiful human being. Stop blaming yourself. None of this was your fault.’ Jenny nodded weakly but was still widely unconvinced. 

‘And I do want to explain this to you. Because I see the way you look at Ram. Even now, you are wondering how Bheem has forgiven him so easily. So much so that he risked his own life for him. Even after everything Ram put him through. You think he is naive and gullible and too innocent to trust Ram like this, don’t you?’

Jenny didn’t have the heart to tell Sita that it was exactly what she thought. She couldn’t say it to the woman who worshipped Ram. Who had prayed night and day for Ram to be returned to her. But her own heart didn’t allow her to deny it either. So she stayed quiet and continued looking ahead.

‘It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to look so guilty. Like I said, I may have felt the same if I were in your place.’

‘You weren’t there, Sita. You didn’t see the way he arrested Bheem. You didn’t see how he tortured and flogged him. Bheem was going to be hanged because of him. I saw it all - it will haunt me forever. The images flash before my eyes every time I shut them. You didn’t see the evidence on his body. You didn’t hear the whiplashes tear his skin. You didn’t see the pools of blood. You didn’t hear his scream when they pulled his body apart.’

Her voice broke. Sita reached out and hugged her, slowly running her hands on Jenny’s back. Both women were overcome with emotion for the men who were so special to them.

‘You are right. I wasn’t there. I did not witness the pain that Bheem was subjected to. But let me tell you one thing, Jenny. I know my Ram. I know how much he values Bheem’s friendship, and trust me, it broke him too. He tortured himself every day for what he did to Bheem. For anyone else, he would have dismissed the thought because his mission was so sacrosanct for him. But Bheem was and is very special to him. Bheem may have forgiven him, but Ram would never ever forgive himself. He will continue to blame himself and repent for his crimes. He will continue to burn in agony, and I will have to drag him out of it somehow. Please don’t think that this is water under the bridge for him - that he has been forgiven so easily. No part of it will be easy for Ram. He will never truly forgive himself, even if Bheem insists or demands him to. They both have a lot of love for each other. It was this love that made Bheem go back for Ram. And it was this love that made Ram realize that he couldn’t sacrifice Bheem for his mission. He risked his own life to save Bheem, you know that. He put his promise to his Baba aside only for Bheem. Love made him do that, Jenny.’

‘Was it?’

‘I am sorry?’

‘Was it love that made Ram free Bheem? Or was it the realization that Bheem was far better placed to bring about the revolution that was his life’s goal? Would Ram have still saved Bheem if he wasn’t convinced that Bheem would be a potent weapon in their freedom struggle?’

She knew she was driving a knife through Sita’s heart by saying this, but she couldn’t help herself. Jenny balked at the idea that Ram saved Bheem out of love. If he truly loved Bheem, he never would have tortured him in the first place. Sita was still. Her heart was heavy. She knew Jenny was partly right. Would Ram have saved Bheem, irrespective? She knew he was torn - but would that have been enough to sacrifice his mission? She couldn’t bring herself to say that out loud. Because honestly, she wasn’t sure. In fact, Ram may not have done that. 

‘If Bheem had faced this choice - that to save Malli and fulfill his mission, he needed to sacrifice Ram - do you reckon he would have ever done that?’

Silence. And some more silence as Sita digested that question. It had hit her like a truck. 

‘You know he would never even consider such a thing. And THAT is the difference between the two men.’ It hurt her as well to say this to Sita, but she was still reeling from the claim of Ram’s love for Bheem. 

‘You may be right, Jenny. Bheem may be a better man than Ram. But again, he didn’t suffer the childhood trauma that Ram did. While I was with Ram every step of the way all these years, even I can’t claim to fully understand what he has been through. This has always been his burden to bear. He hasn’t had a single normal, carefree, loving day since he was a child. You can imagine what that may do to an adult, let alone to a child. That has been his everyday reality. I can’t speak for his morality or choices, but I can speak for his intent and commitment. Those have never wavered. That’s why I love him. And I will continue doing that for the rest of my life.’

It was Jenny’s turn to stay silent and look at Sita. The defiant love in her eyes was again threatening to spill over. And she had to admit that she could never possibly grasp the extent of the emotional damage on Ram due to what happened to him. Had it been anyone but Bheem who had borne the brunt of it and who had gotten hurt, she may have forgiven Ram by now. 

The two women found a strange comfort and understanding with each other. Both differed in everything else in life but were united by their feelings for the respective men. Men, who they were defending passionately to each other. They were so engrossed in the conversation that they didn’t even realize when the sun had set and when the group had set up a small campfire nearby. It was only when they heard the sounds of Bheem and Malli running after each other that they broke from their reverie. Their eyes followed the child and the overgrown child - who were smiling with joy after ages. 

Jenny instantly broke into a smile looking at them. Sita followed suit, closely looking at Jenny throughout.

‘He is sweet, isn’t he?’ Sita asked slyly.

‘Of course, he is.’ Pat came the reply. Sita smiled at her, and she realized how quickly she had responded.

‘I mean, yeah, you could say that.’ Sita continued smiling at her.

‘It’s just a matter of few days, you know. Once we safely deposit the weapons in the village, the three of us will go to Adilabad. You will be back to him soon.’

‘Sure. I mean, it’s fine, yeah. There is no rush. This is important, and other stuff can wait.’ Jenny tried to string together a sentence. Sita grinned wider and held her hands again.

‘My dear, if I can see the way you look at Ram, I can also see the way you look at Bheem.’ Jenny looked down, unable to come up with any kind of response to that statement. She hadn’t realized she had been that obvious. 

‘Now, you just sit here. I will send some dinner, AND I will send Bheem. Spend some time together - we will leave at first light tomorrow.’ She started to walk away, but Jenny held her hand.

‘Ummm….what will you say to him?’

‘Oh, I will just tell him you aren’t feeling too well. Then he wouldn’t leave your side till tomorrow morning.’ Sita winked at her and walked away.

......................................................................

That was Chapter 1. I loved exploring the Jenny-Sita dynamic, haven't seen much on them. The idea is to explore more such dynamics in this series. As always, feedback and comments are very very welcome :)

@irisesforyoureyes @rambheem-is-real @thewinchestergirl1208 @eremin0109 @eenadu-varthalu @rorapostsbl @anyavaramyr @yehsahihai @budugu @chaotic-moonlight @rasnak2 @fadedscarlets @idk-abt-life @maraudersbitchesassemble @juhiiiiii @justmeand-myinsight @mikabilis @rambheemisgoated @rosayounan @jrntrtitties @obsessedtoafault @rambheemlove @jjwolfesworld @alikokinav @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @bromance-minus-the-b @ramcharantitties @dumdaradumdaradum @lovingperfectionwonderland @annieginny @chaanv @ssabriel @sally-for-sally @bitchy-bi-trash @milla984 @doodlesofthelastpage @boochhaan @mesimpleone @carminavulcana @filesbeorganized @ladydarkey @meastradeur @teddybat24 @fangirlshrewt97 @stanleykubricks @stuckyandlarrystuff @burningsheepcrown @veteran-fanperson @voidsteffy

[sada-siva-sanyaasi]

blue // ramaraju

green \ capture you

@manwalaage @maraudersfansassemble @thewinchestergirl1208 @lil-stark @gauri-vishalakshi @itsfookingloosah @idrinktea-darling @adrakchutneyofficial @rambheem-is-real @darlingletshurttonight @nerdreader @mayuriebubblie @samairathewriter @seherie

(a/n- this is continuation to green, linked above. Feedback is appreciated!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ram used to think he had experienced the most pain before, watching his family and villagers die, having to leave them behind and serve the British with hatred in his heart, having to hurt his best friend repeatedly, suffering silently in the cells with no hope left for him. He thought he felt it.

Watching the woman who held his heart in the palm of her hand a few feet away from him, not once sparing him a glance as they continued their trip back, laughing and having all kinds of fun with everyone but him made his chest tighten and lungs constrict, the oxygen passing through his body burning him from the inside and hurting him in every way possible.

Ram knew he messed up, he truly did the second the words left his mouth, and watching her face contort with grief and betrayal felt so much worse than when Governor Scott had his legs beaten ruthlessly and thrown into the solitary cell. Having her speak and acknowledge everyone other than him from then on felt worse than every bullet that had hit him and every drop of blood he watched fall out of his cuts.

Ram knew that everyone was upset with him, and he also knew Y/N wasn't doing much better than him. She took care of herself as perfectly as she did every day, but only Ram saw the tiredness in her eyes, the dark circles she tried so hard to cover, her slowed walk and speech, her quieter laugh and her reluctance to keep her eyes open for longer than a few minutes. And he did this to her, stupidly.

He sighed to himself for what felt like the thousandth time that day as he watched Y/N braid Seetha's hair, giggling while putting jasmine on top, admiring her handiwork. Bheem came and sat down beside him, looking between Ram and Y/N. "Anna, atla tanani chuste emi radu*, you have to do something. Watching you and her suffer without each other is literally eating me alive. You both are back to where you started; pining after each other and being fools. Please, just do everyone a favour and talk to her."

Ram glared at him and huffed, shaking his head. "You're talking a lot, Bheem. Are you showing off because everything is going good between you and Jenny?" Said woman looked up from her book hearing her name, looking curiously at the men. "You called me?"

Ram shook his head and she turned back to her book, while he looked at Bheem with a tired expression. "I can't go and just talk to her Bheem, you know it. She walks away when I approach her, ignores my input in conversations and responds only when you say the same thing, does everything she possibly can to avoid my entire existence. I just don't know what to do."

"She just went to shower, Ram," Seetha's voice made him look up away from Bheem. "After a few minutes go in and talk to her, because the two of you will be alone she can't really avoid you a lot. At least make an attempt, alright? She might speak." Ram nodded slowly, resting his head on his hands as Bheem and Seetha looked at each other, sighing to themselves.

--

Ram knocked on Y/N's door and walked in after hearing no reply, looking around to see that she was in fact not there. He sighed to himself, cursing Seetha in his head and almost turned away when the washroom door opened, Y/N walking through while drying her hair with a towel. Her gold anklets made soft music that filled the room, stilling Ram's heart.

The very kamarband that saved Ram's life the day Bheem rescued him sat delicately around her waist, glinting in the light beautifully as she finally turned to look at him, her eyes widening almost comically before her face got stoic again.

"I thought I was in here alone," she murmured, walking past him and her scent flooding his senses. "Yeah, I just wanted to check on you," Ram stumbled, watching her as she went to sit down in front of the mirror. He dumbly sat down behind her, wanting to speak but unable to as she paid no heed to him, picking up ornaments and putting them on. Y/N hissed in pain when her jhumka poked her ear, making Ram look up in alarm. He cleared his throat and pulled his chair closer to her, looking at her for permission. "Uh, if you don't have any problem, I can help you out."

Y/N regarded him silently, the headstrong and mighty man she fell hard for nowhere to be found and instead an awkward and shy boy sat behind her, holding onto every breath she took. She shouldn't decide who she like more. She nodded slowly and he smiled, picking up the jhumkas and scooting closer to her. Ram tucked her hair behind her ear, his entire body shivering when he finally got to touch her after days. He closed his eyes, mapping her presence into his heart as he slowly slipped the jhumkas into their rightful place.

Y/N smiled to herself as she watched him through the mirror, leaning forward to get her necklace next. Ram admired the intricate work on the silver jewellery for a second before putting it in his lap, grabbing a hair stick to put Y/N's hair up in an easy bun. She raised her eyebrows, impressed that he thought ahead as he put the necklace around her neck, his fingers slightly tracing over her collarbones and making their way to the back.

When Ram realised that the necklace wasn't tightening the way it should, he frowned, pinching the clamp. When even that didn't work, he leaned forward to take it into his mouth, tightening it with his teeth. Y/N jumped a little, eyes widening when his lips skimmed her neck, staying there for a few seconds before he moved away, humming in satisfaction when the necklace didn't fall apart. He looked up and noticed her staring at him wide eyed and realised what he did, his own eyes widening.

Y/N cleared her throat and pulled the stick out and letting her hair fall down. Ram's eyes followed her hair and noticed her black blouse slightly undone. "Uh, your blouse is..." he trailed off, making Y/N feel her back, realised in fact two hooks weren't in the right place. Ram patted his chest, nodding as he pushed her hair forward, looking at the threads that fell free and the hooks that came off.

Time stood still as Y/N felt each of his fingers on her upper back, tying her blouse properly before gliding down, pulling her closer to him swiftly. She jumped again, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood as he set her blouse, standing up immediately when he was done.

"You can leave now." She said, clearing her throat once again and patting her saree down, the soft fabric flying in the air. "You're sweating, and it's close to night now." He noted, watching her wipe her face and roll her eyes.

"I feel sick, of course I'm sweating. Now please, leave." She turned to walk to her bed when he stood up, putting his hands in his pockets. "I always wanted to know," he started, making her pause and wait, "what perfume do you use?"

"It's Chanel, vanilla and bergamot flavoured. I got it in London if you're curious. Why, don't like it?" Ram stood behind her and shook his head slowly, leaning down near her neck and breathing in deep, a low moan leaving him that made Y/N clench her fists, looking down to control the blood rushing to her face. "On the contrary, I think it's the most delicious and intoxicating scent in the world. Whatever London did to you, I absolutely love every part."

Y/N knew what he was trying to say, but it wasn't enough for her. "I still need to dry my hair and braid it before I come out for dinner, you've done enough. Now, leave."

"I can dry your-"

"That's not necessary. I am more than capable of doing it."

"It's not whether you're capable or not bangaram," Y/N closed her eyes at the nickname, "I just want to do it. I'm not really going to take a no for an answer, so don't bother." God, he was making it infuriatingly hard for her not to turn around and yank his hair out of his head, or pull him and kiss him senseless. The bed was beside them too, it was a tempting thought.

Ram walked away, looking for sambrani dhoop while she sighed, unclenching her hands and sitting on the bed, her back still to him. She noticed a book lying beside her and picked it up, going through it when Ram returned, gently detangling her hair and holding it in the air for the dhoop to dry and protect her hair. The silence that followed was welcomed and comfortable, Y/N's focus on her book and Ram's focus on her.

As Ram gently raked his hands through Y/N's locks, she sighed and closed her eyes, her book falling to her lap as she just enjoyed his care. Ram smiled and scooted closer while braiding her hair, tying it at the end and checking it to see if it looked good. Satisfied, he pressed a loving kiss into her hair, wanting to pull her closer but not out of respect.

"Tomorrow we will reach your mothers house," Ram began, noticing Y/N stiffen but remain silent, "and after we leave you there, we will immediately be moving. I uh, I wanted to spend some time with you, you know, in case..."

In case you and I never meet each other again, Y/N understood, biting her lip again to stop the tears welling in her eyes. Understanding her silence, Ram sighed and stood up, bending down to kiss the crown of her head one last time before out of her room. The moment the door shut behind him he pressed his chest against it, closing his eyes and crying silently. Y/N walked to the door, pressing her palm against the same spot and crumpled down, tears falling. Both of them knew the end to their pain was on the other side of the door, but were just waiting for the other one to make the right move.

--

When Y/N finally reached her house, her mother greeted her with open arms, both women crying heavily as they embraced each other after years apart. Her mother shushed her gently, smoothing her hair as Y/N cried for the lost time, her father and everything that happened to her in the time away from her mother. Ram's soul cried as he watched her struggle to calm down in her mother's arms from afar, his own body aching for a mother's warmth. Bheem and Seetha watched both of them silently, wondering to themselves when the distance between the two would reduce.

Y/N introduced everyone to her mother and her brother, who looked at Ram with suspicion. "Akka," he drawled, putting an arm around her shoulders and leaning onto her, "is this man in love with you?" Everyone froze while they were walking into her mansion.

Ram choked as Y/N elbowed her brother, grabbing his ear and telling him off, not sparing Ram a glance while she ushered them all in. A few moments her brother reemerged, standing beside Ram and looking up at him.

"She didn't answer my question, will you?" He looked questioningly at Ram who sighed, nodding before turning to him "How did you know?" The young boy shrugged, looking at his nails. "You're not the first one to look at her like you'd kill anyone for her." He patted Ram's back and walked away, humming a tune to himself while Ram processed his words, scoffing to himself and straightening.

"I'll be the only one actually doing it though," he grumbled, glaring at her brother's back as Y/N approached him. "What did he say?" She asked slowly and Ram rolled his eyes, looking at the bow and arrows in his hands.

"He said I'm not the first one to fall in love with you." Y/N nodded in agreement, picking up her things that were beside him. "My brother is right; you're not the first one." Ram raised an eyebrow, watching as she dusted the things a little, walking away from him. "But you are the only man I fell in love with."

He smiled, the anger in his chest dissipating instantly as she walked to Bheem, blabbering on about some food and dragging him to the kitchen. He was the only one for her even when she was refusing to look at him.

--

The clock struck 4:00 in the morning as Ram and Bheem approached Y/N and her mother, thanking both of them for their hospitality. "But we must move," Ram said, looking at Y/N who lifted her head off her mother's lap, eyes widening. "I need to head to Visakhapatnam while Bheem needs to leave to Adilabad, and we have a war to prepare for, we can't stay here any longer and risk your lives. We packed already, and came here to thank you, and bid you goodbye."

Y/N spluttered, standing up and looking between both men, before her eyes finally settled on Bheem. "Can't you stay a little longer? Must you leave so soon? We all just got here, and now you want to-" "Tappadu amma, vellali*. I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier, but we have no choice. If we stay alive, we will come to see you, I promise."

Tears fell from her eyes when she realised she couldn't persuade them to stay, and she angrily turned away, closing her eyes. "I'm not going to see you off, so if you want to leave now is the right time, Bheem." Bheem looked to Ram, patting his back sympathetically and smiled at Y/N's mother one last time before he turned and walked out. Ram kept looking at Y/N and opened his mouth, before sighing and walking out of there.

As they left Y/N cried harder, all her pain clouding her entirely. Her mother stood up from her bed and walked to her, putting an arm on her shoulder and turning her around. "You love them so much, but you're in love with him Y/N. Vellu*, go and tell him before it's too late."

Y/N ran past her mother to her room, looking through her things till she found her idol of Shri Ram. Clutching it to her chest she raced through her house, finally getting near her gates where Ram and Bheem were about to get into their trucks.

"Ram!" She yelled, catching his attention. He got out and raced to her, stopping a few inches away as she gasped for breath, hand to her chest. Her pink saree made her look like a goddess in the beginning rays of sunlight, and she looked up at him, thrusting the idol into his arms. "Keep it," she stated, watching him look at it with confusion, tucking it into his bag. "I have your pictures and paintings, you'll need something I hold close to my heart with you to remember me."

"I have your memories, bangaram. I don't need anything else." She smiled and shook her head, stepping closer to him and holding his hands in hers. "Come back to me, okay? Come back safe, as quickly as you can, and I will marry you that very second." Ram smiled, caressing her cheek as she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. "Come back to me and we will spend every second of our lives with each other, come back and I'll tell you everyday that I'm in love with you, more than anyone has ever loved anyone."

Ram smiled more through his tears, kneeling down in front of her as he pressed a kiss to her hands, holding them to his head. She knelt down too, bringing his face closer as she pressed a kiss to each tear that slipped out, before a final kiss to his forehead, her lips staying there.

"Come back to me," she whispered as he held her face, nodding. "I'll come back to you if it's the last thing I'll ever do in my life." He promised, pulling her close and hugging her, standing up and twirling her around while she nuzzled into his face, the smiles never leaving their faces.

As the rising Sun hit the lovers near the gate of her house, life started looking a lot more beautiful to them both.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Anna, atla tanani chuste emi radu= looking at her won't do anything anna

Tappadu amma, vellali= We have no choice amma, we need to go

Vellu= go

[hissterical-nyaan]

Concept : first time they have to sleep together on the same bed, they're not in a relationship but they still wake up entangled cause Ram in his sleepy state is just like that and it's established he hogs the bed.

Fast forward, they're in a relationship and Bheem has realized that was simply Ram holding himself back because now he just sleeps on top of Bheem. Theres no big spoon little spoon, theres just the entirety of Ram's body plopped on top of Bheem, head to toe. Bheem can't move. Neither does he want to.

Oh and bheem's prolly a morning person. Like a really big morning person, the kind that wakes up at the ass crack of dawn and smells flowers. Ram (outside of the strict police lifestyle) is not a morning person. Cue the chaos.

This is so adorable I can't!!! This is CANON

Let's say both of them still haven't confessed even after the movie ended but partner together to carry out raids and to train revolutionaries! On one such trip they had to stay in a small house together and *gasp* there's only one bed.

Bheem couldn't understand why Ram was so persistent on sleeping on the floor? The bed was sufficiently big for both of them and further they had a long day, sleeping on the floor can't be good for his back right? So after much convincing Ram finally ends up sleeping on the same bed as Bheem. But it was the morning after that he understood why Ram was so hesitant to take the bed, it's because Ram is a big bed hogger. So here Bheem was, lying almost entirely beneath Ram who was still sleeping peacefully. His legs were entangled with Bheem's and his head was resting right above Bheem's heart

Bheem had a really hard time controlling his breathing that day, his heart was beating so fast he was sure it was going to wake Ram up any moment. He wanted to savour this moment while it lasted... being so close to Ram, his hot breath fanning over his chest (did I tell you they both slept shirtless because duh), his arms curved around his neck. He has never seen Ram sleeping so peacefully and he wasn't going to ruin this moment because of his stupid crush on him. If you can even call it a crush at this point, I would rather call it him being deeply in love with this man

But alas Ram did wake up soon after and jumped away faster than one could blink. He couldn't look into Bheem's eyes for the rest of the day and was extremely quiet and lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't help but think how this was probably his best sleep since he was a child, he felt so safe and at ease, no nightmares plauged his dreams. He couldn't get Bheem's adorable sleepy face and lazy morning smile out of his head. Oh what he would give to experience that again (you will experience it everyday Ram dw)

Fast forward to them in an established relationship and Bheem can't get enough of Ram's sleeping habits. Ram just naturally reaches out in his sleep and Bheem will make sure he's always there for that for the rest of his life. Some days he doesn't even have to hold out his arms, Ram will just plop himself down on Bheem after an exhausting day and will be out in a blink. When the first time it happened, Bheem was so surprised he didn't know what to do. He couldn't move, he couldn't turn, the only thing left to do was wrap his arms around his beloved and go to sleep and that's exactly what he did. And now Bheem awaits the nightfall when he can hold Ram close for hours, feel his breath on his neck, their bodies and souls entangled in one being. They're safe. They're alive. They're happy. (And they are gay)

Bheem is 100% a morning person, he needs to see the sunrise, hear the birds sing in the morning and feel the fresh blooms everyday. But Ram hates waking up in the morning. He also hates if Bheem moves him down on the bed and leave him cold and lonely every morning. The first and the last time Bheem did that Ram didn't talk to him for a whole day and by the end of it Bheem was begging his grumpy husband (yes they got married what about it) to talk to him again.

So they came up with a compromise! Every night they leave the curtains by the window open, you can see the sunrise directly from the comfort of your bed. Bheem also filled their room with plants of all kinds! So now Ram can koala all over Bheem in the morning and Bheem get's to see his sunrise and relax around his plants without disturbing Ram

Bonus : Bheem sometimes just gets up from the bed with Ram clinging in his arms and goes around the forest for a morning walk. All the while a sleepy Ram drools and cuddles all over Bheem

[enigma-the-mysterious]

WIP Wednesday: All progress so far!

Original post

@whimsicalmeerkat @anyctibius @aparticularbandit @somefishycat

GREAT NEWS!!!! I FINISHED THIS FIC!!!! AAAAAAAAAA. Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to write it. Here is the complete version uploaded on AO3.

[Blue indicates previously added lines]

"So, how was it this time?" Ram asked the important question. "Did you like it?"

Akhtar wobbled his head in that endearing way he did when mere words would not suffice to express his approval. "It… it is hard to describe it, but once the bitterness wore off, there was a rich taste to it, like something earthy but more soft. It was delicious." 

Ram nodded, his chest feeling inexplicably full. Akhtar's joy over such simple things was infectious. Worried that his face would break into another silly smile for seemingly no reason and make him appear like a fool to his friend, he turned around, finally bestowing some attention to his own drink. 

"That's good to hear," he said, sprinkling half a spoon of sugar into his cup. As he swirled the spoon to mix it up, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the dark, churning liquid. 

His face was split into a stupid grin.

So much for his efforts. Oh well. Maybe he could be a little stupid with Akhtar. Who cared?

@kedreeva @zyrafowe-sny @eriquin @adhdavinci @post-and-out @scifikimmi

"I am arresting you for rebelling against the British government."

"Just look into my eyes, my brother. Look at me."

He did. There was nothing behind them. Just a pair of lifeless voids. A stranger wearing the face of his beloved and donning the colour of the colonisers.

Somehow that was worse. Bheem wished he had never asked Ram to look at him.

+++++

"Surrender if you want Malli to stay alive," the cruel stranger wearing his beloved's face said.

Bheem did. Scott Buxton shot her anyway.

Bheem wept over the songbird's cooling blood. Because what else could he do?

+++++

"Let us hang him in front of Malli," the stranger said.

The noose tightened around his neck. Malli screamed and sobbed. He opened his mouth to reassure her, to apologize to her, but no words came out, no air came out. 

@stonemaskedtaliesin

Bheem felt it for the first time then. It enveloped his heart in its sharp claws, squeezing his chest till he bled. Terror.

@violet-prism-creatively

Did he not know that?

No, he doesn't. You made sure of that.

@auburnlaughter @wizisbored

Everywhere he gazed in his apartment, he saw traces of… him.

So, Ram did not look anywhere; did not glance at his bed where the sheets were messed up, did not glance at his desk where a half eaten plate of rice still remained, did not glance at the floor where books were strewn everywhere except for the snug space by his bed and the trail leading to the kitchen, did not glance at his cupboard where he knew a grey suit and a light blue shirt were missing.

Ram did not look anywhere. He limped straight towards the bathroom. Only when he reached there did he let himself breathe.

He planted his hands on the edge of the wash basin and leaned his entire weight on it.

[itsfookingloosah]

2 promises Ram makes to others and one he makes to himself

When he makes his first promise, the weight of the rifle on his shoulder etches itself there forever.

Baba’s hands, which are trembling and broken and bloody, are asking him to lead a cause he’d only ever followed. Asking him to be a martyr when all he’d wanted to be was a hero. 

A weapon in every hand.

When he presses the trigger, the echo of Chotu’s name is still on Amma’s dead lips and the bullet that leaves the rifle all those years ago, still scratches against Ram’s heart sometimes.

***

I’ll come back, he promises.

Seetha’s hand is tight in his and despite the tears in her eyes, her voice is hopeful. I know.

He breaks the moon around his neck and gives one crescent to her, an emblem, a reassurance. I’ll come back. 

Her smile slightly cracks at its edges. I know.

When he is on the boat, all said and done, his village now just a speck in the horizon, he thinks. I'll come back.

The wind doesn’t whisper anything back.

***

Ram is no stranger to blood.

It’s what he was forged in. It’s what he was forged for.

But sitting here, on the precipice of right and wrong, with his Bheem’s blood warm and dirty under his palms, with his feet on the same soil on which his Bheem had bled on, he loathes it more than he loathes himself.

It is from this hatred that a loving promise takes birth. Not made to anyone but himself.

Bheem would make out of this alive. Be it at the cost of his own life, but no matter what, Bheem would make out of this alive.

His heart hums back its approval.

some people who might like this: @lil-stark @manwalaage @contemporarykafka @darlingletshurttonight @eremin0109 @rambheem-is-real @how-is-it-in-london

[fangirlshrewt97]

Bheem: Is he dead?!

Lacchu: I can only hope.

Ram: I'm still alive!

Lacchu: I didn't hope hard enough.

[filesbeorganized]

Nymphaea

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Author’s Note - Start: This fic falls under the series My Garden of Love, which is part of the submission for Celebrrration in Tumblr. The accompanying song for this fic collection is “Flowers” by Hadestown.

Celebrrration Day 3 Prompt: Music

Warnings/Tags:  Celebrrration submission, developing relationship, flower language, canon typical violence, can be read as stand alone but you might be a little confused if you don’t read the previous instalment, songfic, TW for sexual harrasment, TW for blood and major injuries

Relationships: Alluri Sitarama Raju/Komuram Bheem, Seetha&Jenny

___

Flowers, I remember fields of flowers,

soft beneath my heels.

Walking in the sun.

___

Bheem walked with him through the forest. He keeps Ram updated about what he has been up to, at least the things that he hasn't mentioned in the letters. Jenny walked with Seetha, the both of them deep in conversation, chattering about their own activities.

They end up at the entrance of the village. Passing several children running about, and the communal kitchen alive with the fire and smoke lifting into the air. The sun slowly disappears into the horizon, leaving only streaks of warm light in the sky.

“So that’s the team I was telling you about,” Bheem points to a clearing, several men are engaged in military training. “Currently Lacchu’s training them, I oversee once in a while. In a few months they’ll be ready for their first mission.”

Ram peers into the crowd and found the man who he had tortured for information standing in front of the group. Every so often he delves into the lines of men, correcting postures and adjusting the form. So, his name is Lacchu.

“Want to visit them?” Bheem offers.

He thought about the awkwardness of confronting Lacchu. Plus he just arrived. Does he really want to raise hostility this early in his visit? So, for the sake of maintaining some of the peace, he said, “Maybe another time.”

Bheem raises his eyebrows but does not ask any question.

So they walked to Bheem’s cottage instead. Jenny has her own hut and she had invited Seetha to stay with her during their visit. Seetha accepted.

That means Ram will be staying with Bheem.

After putting his belongings where Bheem had directed him to, Ram wanders around the house. It’s not a massive place, but it is definitely Bheem’s. There’s not a lot of his personal belongings, only the essentials like clothing and a short table where some books and documents are piled on top. There’s a door to the backyard, a pot of fresh water stands beside it. Ram walks to the backyard.

He found Bheem hunched over the soil. Beside him, the hyacinth they found in the forest last time has thrived into thick shrubs of purple flowers. Bheem truly hadn’t lied when he said no plants will perish when he’s around.

Bheem finishes planting the white alyssum Ram had given him. He turns around and smiles as he notices Ram’s presence.

“It’s beautiful already,” Bheem exclaimed, “Can’t wait for it to grow.”

Ram could watch that smile for the rest of time and he won’t get sick of it.

“It’s getting late, we should clean up and rest,” Bheem suggested. Ram nodded in agreement. He let Bheem herded him to a small opening at the side of the cottage. A big pot of water stood beside a small fireplace. Bheem boiled some water and soaked soap beans in them. Then he left Ram to cleans up.

When Ram enters the main room, Bheem is tidying an extra mat beside the one already in the room when he first arrived. He’s not sure why but his cheeks are heating up at the thought of sleeping that close to Bheem.

It’s not even that weird. Back in Delhi, sometimes Bheem will stay over in his house. Most of the time Bheem will just sleep on the floor. But sometimes Ram will insist he take the bed, while Ram sleep on the floor. Sometimes the both of them were just so exhausted, they both just passed out on the bed. He’s not sure why today is any different. Nevertheless it’s apparent that his heart rate is still accelerating.

He scolds himself to please, just be normal.

After Bheem finishes, he brings Ram to get their food at the communal kitchen. Ram watches as the people fuss over Bheem. The village healers surrounded Seetha and exchanged knowledge. Even the raiding team’s men chats along with Jenny, praising her for working as an informant, working behind enemy’s lines.

Ram is content watching the people he loves having the time of their lives. He feels just slightly lonely in that crowd. The disadvantage of people considering you to be a half god, a legend, is that it puts a distance between you and them. Usually Ram won’t mind people ignoring him. But this is Bheem’s people. It feels like their approval of him holds more weight than others. Luckily, the soft smile Bheem wears the whole evening distracts him from the stinging pinch in his heart.

___

The next day Ram has to fulfil his promise to meet Bheem’s raiding team. The men are excited. They’re so filled with idealism and long for justice, for freedom to come to their homeland. They ask him questions and insist he oversee their training for the day.

Lacchu was there too. Lacchu will talk to Bheem, and help correct poses like he did the day before. He didn’t do anything particularly hostile. But he is also pretending that Ram did not exist either. After what Ram did to him, this should be considered hospitality, though.

It was past noon when they all took a break. Lacchu immediately parted ways with them, which just emphasised that he won’t be wasting any more time than needed to deal with Ram. Despite knowing he absolutely deserves this treatment, Ram has to push a bitter taste down.

Bheem somehow misses Ram’s pained expression, because he directed Ram to the communal kitchen to fetch their lunch. Leave it to Bheem to make sure Ram never misses his meal.

“Loki-akka!” Bheem greets the woman nursing the fire under a big pot of rice. “I’m here for lunch!”.

She laughs, “Sure, sure. Go have a seat, I’ll fetch a plate.”

He and Ram sat beside the low table nearby. He watches as the children play under the shades of trees. He has a flashback of Bheem and him playing with the Delhi’s children. Part of him felt like he’s not only accompanying them to play, but also is playing with them. Doing things he hadn’t got the chance to do as a child. Being around Bheem tends to make him experience new, amazing things.

Loki-akka comes to the table bringing a big plate of rice and bread. She fetched another plate and put it on another table nearby. She then calls on the kids, announcing that they got to eat their lunch. Hurricanes of limbs and yelps invade the table beside him. The kids quickly wash their hands and take a spot around the table.

Bheem began to eat, so he followed as well. They watched as the kids started ravaging their meals. At some point a couple of kids had begun quarrelling over a piece of chicken. Bheem laughs at that while Loki-akka tries to calm both of the kids. The two kids refuse to let go of the chicken and Loki-akka is clearly running out of patience. She took the chicken from both kids and is ready to scold both of them. Before the whole ordeal turns into a crying match, Ram takes the chicken from his plate and offers it to the kids.

“Here,” he waves it in front of the kid who’s clearly the closest to tears. “I’ve got extras.”

The kid beams for a moment, but the smile quickly dies down as she notices the person offering the food.

“I don’t want it,” she said. The boy who had been wrestling the previous chicken from her quickly took the chicken from Ram’s hand instead.

“You don’t like chicken anymore?” Ram tried to joke. He recognizes this girl as well, he just hopes she does not recognize him.

“I don’t like you,” she scooted farther from him, “You’re a villain.”

Loki-akka inhales a sharp breath nearby, as Bheem stops eating at all. They all went silent for a moment, except some kids that clearly have no interest in following their conversations. They’d rather finish their lunch instead.

“Malli,” Loki-akka’s voice sounded edged, “You can’t say that. Apologise to your anna.”

“I’m not in the wrong!,” Malli insisted, “He hurted Bheem-anna before. He might do it again!”

“Malli!” Loki-akka raises her voice. Even some of the kids previously occupied by their food started staring at them.

“You���re not my anna,” Malli glares at Ram, “Never will be.”

With that she stood up and ran away.

“Oh! That girl will send me to an early grave,” Loki-akka clicks her tongue in frustration. “My apologies, she’s still recovering from..”. From the trauma that you helped cause, is probably what she might have said. But since she’s too polite for that kind of remark, Loki-akka didn’t finish her sentence. Instead she offers him a sympathetic smile and walks away to resume nursing the fire.

That left Ram staring into nothing as Bheem tried to catch his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Bheem cautiously asked.

“Yeah,” Ram tried to fight the stinging in his eyes, “Yeah. I’m full actually. So-”

He stood up and left for Bheem’s cottage.

___

For a moment he does nothing except sit on that mat and stares at the wall.

Malli’s right. He’s a villain. He’s not going to be accepted here. Not after he hurt Bheem, the person most beloved by the whole village. Not after he almost caught Malli in the cross-fire. Not after he tortures Lacchu, who hadn’t want to do anything but save Malli.

He’s not sure how to look at any of the villager’s faces without his cheeks burning up in shame.

A knock comes from the door. Bheem appears on the doorway.

“It’s your house,” Ram sighs, “You don’t have to knock.”

“Well, let’s pretend I just knock before entering my house all the time, just for fun,” Bheem said.

Ram shakes his head in disbelief, too tired to laugh at that.

Bheem takes a seat beside him. He sat so close that their shoulders knocked at each other. Even that simple touch is already calming Ram down.

“Thought you might want company,” Bheem murmurs.

“No, I-” Ram chokes on a sob, “No, I actually deserved that.”

Bheem offers his upturned palm, and Ram just has to take it. Just this once he wants to accept Bheem’s help to collect himself, so he does not break down completely.

“They need time to heal,” Bheem stated, “They have every right to take as much time as they need to heal. They’ve been through so much after all.”

Ram nodded in agreement. He’s not sure if by ‘them’ Bheem is referring to Loki-akka and Malli, or to the entire village. They all had been traumatized by the whole kidnapping incident after all.

“You can’t demand them to accept you immediately,” Bheem continued, and he is so right except this reality is also quite painful to swallow, “But what you can do, is to accept yourself first.”

Ram turns his head to face Bheem, his gaze filled with questions.

“I don’t deserve acceptance, though,” Ram whispered, “I did many bad things. Since when does a villain deserve healing?”.

Bheem squeezes Ram’s palm in his hand, “Oh, but you’re not a villain. A villain doesn’t tend to feel bad when they do bad things. But you do. So you do deserve healing. And it can’t start unless you accept yourself first.”

“That man that’s training your team, Bheem,” Ram sighs, “Lacchu. Remember when I was searching for a man all over Delhi? He was the one I was searching for. I tortured him for information, Bheem. I was ready to keep Malli under house imprisonment for the rest of her life in the Scotts house, for a mere promotion. How can you not be disgusted at me?”.

Bheem took both of Ram’s hands into his, “I know about Lacchu. He told me once we got reunited. He’s rightfully angry at you, but after Seetha’s story, he knows that you didn’t have much choice either. All he asks is that he doesn’t want to interact often with you. And that is fair, right? As for the disgusted part, I thought I told you this. I can’t hate you. I love you too much to spare a room for hate in my heart. And did you not end up trying to help Malli? You can’t rewind time to fix the past. But you tried to be better in the future. To be honest, that’s the only thing we all could do. Live for the future. You look too long at your past and you’ll stand still while life passes you by. I don’t want that for you.”

Ram shrugged, “Lacchu has been watching me roaming around his village for the whole day and he’s patient enough not to kick me out immediately. But one scold from Malli and suddenly I’m the one sulking? I don’t deserve your sympathy, Bheem.”

Bheem smacked his side and Ram looked at him in surprise.

“Stop that. You’re deserving of my love. It’s a non-negotiable part of our friendship. You better accept that. And while you’re at it, you better start to accept that you deserve to have a good future as well.”.

“Or what?” Ram’s lips start to quirk up to the side. His breath is less heavy, and he can feel his shoulder loses its tense. He can stand to lose the love of the whole world, as long as he still gets Bheem’s love.

“Or I’ll tickle you to death!” Bheem announced as he lunged to make true of his promise. Ram tries to wrestle out of his death hug but can’t help but start laughing.

A quick knock and the sound of the door opening stops their wrestle. They tried to sit properly as the person at the door made their way inside.

“Hey you guys,” Jenny said, “Seetha told me today’s Dhanteras, so she wants to take me shopping in the-” Her words stopped as she saw Bheem and Ram still somewhat tangled with each other.

“Ah, we’re interrupting them,” Seetha emerges from behind Jenny. Her eyes glinting as if she’s holding in a laughter.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jenny sighs, “Anyway, if you’re not too busy being joined at the hips, we’re going to the city to shop. If you want to join, meet us at the village’s entrance in ten minutes.”

“Now that’s out of the way,” Seetha steers Jenny to the door, “Let’s leave before we witness any more weird things.”

Jenny barks a laugh at that.

Ram loses the ability to speak for a moment.

“Is she…uh, okay with this?” he asked finally.

“Who? Jenny?” Bheem questioned, “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t she?”.

“Well I thought you both have a crush on each other, figured she’d be jealous or something with us being so close or whatever,” Ram tried to sound as neutral as possible.

“Oh. About that,” Bheem actually blushes, “We kind of…drifted apart.”

“Wait, what?” Ram is genuinely concerned, “Are you okay? Don’t tell me you messed it up so hard with the flirting that she got disinterested.”

Bheem bites the side of his cheek, “Shut up, you’re not a master of flirting as far as I can tell. She actually got into trouble for the whole nails in the wheel shenanigans.”.

“Oops,” Ram tuts, but he actually feels a bit bad.

“But anyway,” Bheem continues, “We try to go out together for a while. Didn’t work. Apparently we’re better as friends. So here we are.”

Ram has a surge of irrational fear down his spine. He hopes that he and Bheem weren't just better as friends.

“We should get going,” Bheem tugs at him after a while, “Nothing better to cheer you up than to see fresh scenery. Let’s go!”.

___

The city’s streets are jam packed with stalls.

The four of them just wander around for a while. Bheem dragged them from one stall to another in search of the candies to give to the village’s children.

“Perhaps we can ask for a truce to Malli,” Bheem picks several types of candies from the merchant’s boxes. Ram has the urges to buy all of them if that can grant him Malli’s forgiveness, except he knows full well it doesn’t work like that. Forgiveness and trust are things that are quite hard to be bought.

They resume their walk until they come to a stall selling bangles and earrings. Seetha drags Jenny to select their choices of accessories.

“I somehow have the flashback of shopping with Bheem, he ends up buying a bangle for Malli instead,” Jenny hums.

“I did not buy a bangle for Malli,” Bheem declared, “I made it.”

“Yeah, because he’s romantic like that,” Seetha comments nonchalantly. “Is that why you lost your girlfriend, you ol’ snooze?”.

“Hey!” Bheem protested, “Jenny, Tell her it was a mutual decision!”.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jenny retorts, “It was a mutually made decision after he considers that we’re better as friends, and after I consider that he’d made a terrible boyfriend.”

Ram has the impulse to defend that Bheem would have made a great boyfriend. He did not get to voice it because Jenny suddenly jumps and turns around, panic displayed in her eyes.

Seetha moves first and asks Jenny, “What? What happened?”.

Jenny points to the hollering crowd of boys standing not too far from them. They yell obscenities at Jenny and point at her.

Jenny looked like she wanted to vomit, “I think one of them just slapped my behind.”

One of the foolish boys approaches Seetha and tugged at her saree, trying to pull her closer.

“Want to have fun with me, darling?” he said. Eyes clearly looking vulgarly at her.

Bheem moved forward and the boy finally took notice of him and Ram.

“These two’s your girls, brother?” he raised two hands up, “If so, apologies. Thought that they were alone.”

“They’re not our girls, but-” Bheem enunciated his words slowly, voice laced with barely contained anger.

“Oh!,” the boy laughed as if this whole thing were mere jokes, “Then it’s fine if I took them to have some fun with us?” He points at his friends, still hooting improper words at Jenny.

Ram is standing still, fury starts boiling inside him. Whether they are their girls or not, these boys are not treating their fellow humans with respect and it is unacceptable.

Before he nor the boy could react, something flashes forward and hits the boy’s face.

A loud crack made Ram unconsciously wince. Then he took in the scene of Seetha chasing that boy away.

“You want to have fun? Is that why you harass my friend?” she yelled, bangles rustling in her fist. Whenever she catches up with one of the boys, she lands her punch powered with those iron bangles. The chiming noise of the bangles mixed with bones cracking sound is so absurd that the rest of the group just kind of stands there and stares. She chases them all the way to the road’s branch. The boys ducked into the street’s darkness and Seetha finally gave up her chase. She stomps her way back to the group and checks on Jenny.

“Are you okay?” She touches Jenny's side cautiously. Jenny thoughtlessly nodded.

“Those senseless boys!” Seetha exclaims, “If they come back here I’ll beat them to death!”.

“Uhh, miss?”.

“What?!” she barks her reply.

The stall’s vendor just stares with some fear in his eyes, “Uhh, sorry, but are you going to pay for that?”.

He points at the misshapen, bloodied bangles in Seetha's grip. Seetha looks at him and the bangles a few times before snapping back to reality, “Oh, yes. Apologies for the ruckus. How much are these for?”.

Seetha paid for the broken bangles and some pairs of new ones. The night is decidedly ruined, so they opt for walking back home instead.

“Here,” Seetha hands Jenny the newly bought bangles, “Sorry you have to go through that.”

Jenny stares at her for a moment, her eyes unreadable, then she reaches for the broken bangles in Seetha's other hand instead.

“I want this one,” she takes the broken bangles.

Seetha looks up in confusion, “Why? It’s all bent, you can’t wear that.”

“Sure, I can,” Jenny firmly insists as she fits the broken bangles into her wrists, “You fought tooth and nail to get me these ones. It’s my new treasure now.”

Seetha blushes, her face went bright red, “O-oh. Uh, sure. Thank you?”.

“Thank you to you too,” Jenny replied with a soft expression on her face.

Ram and Bheem exchange a confused look but wordlessly agree that they better not comment anything.

___

After the whole ordeal, Ram thought they’d all slept like the dead all day, but that morning he found Bheem already awake at dawn. The sun barely crept into the sky but Bheem’s standing near the door, buckets of water, mop and broom at his disposal.

He lets his head clear up for a moment before he remembers what’s the day’s occasion.

“Cleaning up for chhoti diwali?” he yawns, still somewhat sleepy.

“Correct,” Bheem beams for some reason. There’s no way anyone is excited to brush their home from floor to ceiling, but there Bheem is, a big smile plastered to his face as he offers Ram a broom.

Ram relents and crawls out of the mat. He helps Bheem roll the mat and put them aside so they can start sweeping the house.

After the sweeping comes the hard part, which was to mop the whole place clean. It involves buckets and buckets of water, and a sore back from bending down to mop the floor. Every so often Ram has to throw away the dirty waters outside, and he’ll be greeted by Seetha or Jenny for Jenny’s hut, both of them also hard at work cleaning the place.

By noon all of them were sprawled across the house’s lawn, tired from the day’s activities. Bheem was pulling a last minute groom for the flowers in the backyard. Apparently he bought a water lily when they went to the city, so he’s now fussing over the new addition to his garden, making sure it has enough water and all that. So Ram’s just sitting on the front lawn, exchanging groans with anyone who was passing, their conversations basically going, Are you tired? Me too, I’m tired too. At one point Seetha crosses the road to bring him water, but almost pour the water down his face because she was so out of breath that her hand’s shaking. After that no one tried to move for a while, trying to regain their energy and calm their breath.

Fate seems to be in a joking mood that day, because that’s the moment a kid ran across the lawn. She tried to climb a tree in panic, which means she failed miserably. Ram���s brain was sluggish, his overworked body still dealing with the tiredness fatigue, but he finally saw the thing that had alarmed the girl. That thing is turning so fast at the corner that it slips and falls, but it quickly gets up its feet again. That thing is a wild boar, and it is readying itself to charge forward.

Now it’s Ram’s turn to panic. He doesn’t know what to do, his movement still slow from weariness, but the boar is definitely not waiting until he can plan a reasonable course of action. So he does the next best thing, which in retrospect is actually the worst thing ever. He throws himself in the course of the boar.

Ram can feel the boar’s ploughing through him. He bet this is what getting hit by a truck felt like. His limbs do their best to wrestle against the boar, trying to steer farther from where the kid is. He feels that he’s losing his footing, so he does his last ditch move and tries to break the boar’s neck. The boar’s struggling under him but clearly still has a lot of fight in it. He heard someone yell as he felt the boar’s tusk digging itself into his stomach. The flare of pain only feeds his adrenaline. With his last burst of energy, he twists the boar’s head until he can hear the bones breaking inside. This also means he’s yanking out the boar’s tusk out of his stomach. Blood seeped into his clothes and he felt lightheaded. The good thing is his last ditch move works and the boar fell limp beside his foot. He did not have the time to congratulate himself because he soon followed the boar’s lead and passed out on top of it.

___

As Ram wakes up, he almost wishes he didn’t.

There’s a throbbing pain on his sides and the fatigue hasn’t gone away either. Overall it’s quite an unpleasant waking up experience.

“Ah, you’re awake,” a small voice beside him spoke, “I thought you’ll spend another day in a coma.”

He tried to follow where the sound came from, but his headache said otherwise. So he just croaks, “Yep. Awake. A hundred percent awake. Hi.”

A small face looms over him, “You’re in pretty bad shape.”

“Gee, thanks for your observation,” he huffs.

“How are you still annoying despite being currently in death’s door,” the kid scoffs.

His eyes clears up and he finally registers that the small face belongs to none other but Malli.

“Oh, hey you,” he finally said.

“The only reason I didn’t stab you again in your sleep is because Bheem-anna would be disappointed in me,” Malli announces. She shuffles uncomfortably from where she’s sitting, then continues, “And also because you saved me. So thanks for that, I guess.”

Ram vaguely remembers the girl that’s trying to climb the tree in panic, “Oh, that was you trying to imitate a broken legged goat on that tree?”.

Malli huffs but Ram’s suspicious that she’s holding a laughter rather than being offended.

“Shut up,” she fumed, “I’ll call Bheem-anna to check on you, but only after he finishes putting up diyas outside.”

“Are you…prioritising a candle over me not dying?” Ram asked, he’ll laugh if that won’t make his whole body ache.

“Yeah, that’s your punishment,” Malli insists, “No way I’m letting you get in the way of my anna getting his yearly blessings.”

“Also,” Malli poked her tiny finger into Ram’s cheek, “You’re not dying anymore, Seetha-akka basically yanks you out of the afterlife. You’re okay now, crybaby.”

This kid is so disrespectful but somehow Ram can’t bring himself to get angry at her.

“Okay, then. If I died, however, I’m haunting you forever,” Ram said.

Malli stood up so she once again loomed over Ram, “Sure you will.”

Then, perhaps Malli got scared of being haunted, or maybe it’s something else. But she puts a few candies she must have gotten from Bheem in Ram's hand.

She talks quickly in a harsh tone, as if embarrassed, “Happy Diwali anna, sorry you have to miss it. And, thank you.”

Then she ran out of the door, all the while yelling, “Enjoy your stab wound!”.

That impertinent girl.

Ram sighs as he feels the weight of the candies in his hand. He tastes sweetness in his mouth despite the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. From outside the house, he can hear the faint sound of laughing and music being played. Light from the bonfire somewhere out there flickers across the room every so often. The booming sound of the firecrackers being lit up is not helping his stinging headache. But all in all, not the worst day he’s ever had in his life.

___

Author’s Note - End: Pink Nymphaea/Water Lily symbolises joy, youth, and friendship. The word is derived from "nymph" which referenced the spirits of plants from Greek mythos. It has opposing qualities, for example, despite its beauty, this plant often grows in ponds with thick muds. In parallel, nymphs are creatures that can bring both harm and good to humans who encounter them.

Tagging the mods @stanleykubricks and @fangirlshrewt97 and the blog @celebrrration in case my Tumblr went nuts again.

Shout out to @dumdaradumdaradum on Tumblr for letting me annoy her with questions about the festivals mentioned in this fic.

[gauri-vishalakshi]

Finding My Way To You

Part 5.5

Ram x wife!reader

You had cried yourself to sleep that night. Screamed yourself hoarse. Pulled out all the books you had so painstakingly arranged into the shelves on the walls onto the floor. Thrown your wedding picture on the ground, not bothering to tend to the gash the glass created on your hand as it broke.

You were lost. Confused. One day he hated you, the next it was love? And Bheem. Only known to you as sweet Akhtar. Akhtar who would never dare to break into the governor’s mansion. Or so you thought. You didn’t know what to think of whom anymore, with the people around you revealing their true colors and leaving you clueless.

Your husband didn’t come home that night. You didn’t know what to think; had he captured Bheem? Was he even alive?

---

You startled awake the next morning to a bugle call, loud as if mocking the disheveled state you were in. You struggled to rise from the position you had fallen asleep in, slumped against the bookshelf, and raised yourself back into your wheelchair with some difficulty. You heard the announcement for a public whipping and shuddered, murmuring a quiet prayer for the poor soul. Turning your wheelchair as to maneuver yourself into the kitchen, you stopped abruptly as you heard the second part of the announcement. "The name of the accused is Bheem, of the Gonds." Your heart stopped as fear and fury rose up within you, dancing their deadly dance in perfect synchrony, one thought fresh in your mind. How could he?

---

You wheeled your way through the massive crowd, almost tipping over when a group of people stampeded by, knocking off one of your wheelchair’s wheels. You cursed and tears filled your eyes as you saw the wheel, engraved with flowers Ram and Akh-Bheem had carved together for you, roll away, as out of reach as its creators had become to you. 

You lifted yourself out of the wheelchair, feeling nostalgic of the times Bheem helped you out, urging you to walk with your hands in his, proclaiming “you’re doing great, bhabhi! Anna will be so happy to see you start walking again!” Now, no hands guided you, and no one was proud of you for trying. The world seemed to want you to fall, and the few who didn’t might as well detest you at the moment. 

You gingerly adjusted your weight and you limped as fast as you could as the gravelly rocks that made up the road tore at your bare feet. You finally reached the barbed fence, pushing through the throng of people that had amassed around it. Tears began gathering in your eyes at the horrific sight in front of you. Some officer was whipping Bheem on a platform inside the fence as he sang soulfully, bleeding all over. Bheem’s eyes met your teary, apologetic ones and managed a somewhat reassuring smile, nodding a little at the progress you had made with walking. You marveled at him. In so much pain, and he wanted to make you feel better? More and more tears built up until your vision had a blurry tint to it. So Ram had arrested him. You thought that was the worst he could’ve done, the most sickening betrayal he could've committed, yet you were once again proven wrong once the officer turned around- ´No.’ You thought, dumbstruck. He wouldn’t descend to this level. He couldn’t.

Ram faltered, a minuscule, unintentional smile making its way on his face as he noticed you back on your feet. It fell just as quickly as it had made an appearance, though, and he reached back again, the crack of a whip audible moments after. You let out a strangled sob, tears pouring out at last as the blood of the man you had come to think of as a brother stained the face of the man you had grown to love. Yet you hated him just as fiercely as you loved him, and loved him as passionately as you hated him.

You stood still, numb from what you had witnessed as the crowd-turned-mob surged and raged around you. You simply stood, face wet, feet bloody, heart torn.

A/N: Part 5.5! @manwalaage @lil-stark@thewinchestergirl1208@contemporarykafka@aurora2238@maraudersfansassemble @itsfookingloosah @rambheem-is-real@adrakchutneyofficial @darlingletshurttonight @seherie @redirection04 @ramayantika @how-is-it-in-london@crystalchrysalis19 @cainiyor @irisesforyoureyes

[ronaldofandom]

A Love Eternal / Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

Chapter 2 is up, folks. No warnings. This is angst and love and some deep conversations. Dynamics are SitaJenny, RamJenny and RamSita. Lots of Bheem in the next chapter.

...............................................................

Chapter 2

(Link to Ch 1, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11)

The homecoming felt nothing short of Diwali to Ram’s fellow villagers. The sight of him emerging from the boat with Sita and Babai would be imprinted on their hearts forever. Their boy, their leader, their guide, their voice, their savior had returned home. Ram was the only one they had looked up to since his Baba had sacrificed his life to save the village. Even when he was a child, Ram had found himself at the center of crucial decisions. It was mostly he and Babai who were entrusted with deciding the fate and path of the village. He had to grow up soon. His childhood and innocence had died with his family. His only aim in life was to fulfill his father’s dream, come what may. The only emotion guiding him was duty. His mind and heart didn’t have room for any other thoughts or feelings. 

Sita had always been at his side through the entire journey. While he was preparing for it in the village and while he was executing it in the city. She was his strongest supporter, his most vocal believer. Even when the villagers' faith started to dwindle, she stood firm. Despite being a deeply religious woman, she believed in Ram more than she believed in her god. Her faith in him had kept the villagers hopeful. And Babai had been his most trusted advisor, his anchor when he was charting his path in the city. To see the three of them return together was like witnessing Ram, Sita, and Laxman return to Ayodhya after their vanvas.

Everyone was overcome with emotion - hugging and touching Ram to believe he was really back. And with weapons. He had done what his father had set out to do. He had fulfilled his Baba’s mission. His family’s death had not gone in vain after all. 

Jenny received a very different welcome, though. Ram had sent a word in advance of her arrival - he had explained in great detail how she had helped him escape the prison and that she was nothing like the cruel British empire. But the sight of her in their motherland was traumatic for them. The last time a Britisher was in their midst, their loved ones had gotten killed mercilessly. Some of the older folks couldn’t help but relive that memory at the sight of her. They believed Ram and his judgment wholeheartedly, but they were still wary of her. At best, they could be civil to her, and that’s what they all tried.

She thought her guilt had peaked yesterday at the sight of Bheem’s injuries. But she was so wrong. Witnessing the emotional reunion had deeply overwhelmed her. The way the villagers held and kissed the guns like it was the most precious thing in their lives was a testament to the treatment they had gone through. They were looking forward to killing & dying for their motherland, their people, their sovereignty, their way of life, and their right to live with dignity. They wanted to be free from their captors - who treated them with brutality, disrespect, contempt, and derision. Their captors were HER people. Jenny felt like she hit a new low every day - she was more & more ashamed of where she came from with each passing day. She briefly regretted her decision to come with them for a safer passageway - she was astute enough to sense their wariness and distrust of her. She didn’t sense hatred, but she definitely didn’t sense warmth or compassion.

Sita bravely held her hand through it all and introduced her to everyone. Jenny waved meekly and politely at all of them. What she really wanted to do was to hide in a corner and never show her face again. But Sita never left her side. She kept talking in her native tongue about all the things Jenny did for them. Adding that Ram would have never made it back alive if it wasn’t for Jenny. She hugged her in front of everyone and welcomed her in their traditional way - applying a tilak to her forehead. She then walked Jenny back to her own hut - that’s where she was going to stay for the next 2 days. They all crashed for the next few hours, only waking up at dinner time. Jenny wanted to eat alone inside, but Sita dragged her to where the community had gathered, in the middle of the village. It was like a festival - their Ram had returned home after all. They sang their folk songs and danced to their heart’s content - everyone joining in the celebration. Jenny couldn’t help but smile at the purity of the emotion and the brotherhood of these people. She only wished it wasn’t pain that had banded them together like this. And she wished they never had to see pain like that again. Sita grabbed her hand and made Jenny dance with her, much to her horror. She squealed and tried to get away, but Sita chased her and made her dance eventually. It broke the ice with the villagers, and they also started cheering them on. The festivities continued till late in the night. By the time they reached back to their hut, both the girls were exhausted and fell face down on the cot. 

‘It was quite a trick you pulled there, making me dance with everyone.’ Jenny elbowed Sita lightly. She elbowed back. 

‘You enjoyed it. Don’t even try to deny it.’ Both of them giggled and fell silent for a bit.

‘Thank you. For everything.’ Jenny whispered lightly.

‘Anytime. And please, for the love of god, you need to stop feeling so guilty all the time.’ Both the women were lying on their sides and facing each other now.

‘Sita, Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘Where did you learn to speak English like this? Since you have always been here and never really lived in the city.’ Sita smiled at the question.

‘Ram taught me. He used to study himself and teach me too. Well, to be honest, he just used to say things out loud when he learned, and since I was always nearby, I started picking up stuff too. When he saw I could learn fast, he actively started teaching me. He said knowledge of the language will help us navigate the journey ahead. Even when he left for the city, he sent me parcels and letters of stuff that I should be aware of. There, you see that box? All the letters he sent over the years are in there. All I know is because of him.’ She smiled softly.

Jenny could see the sheer dedication and adoration on her face as she spoke of Ram. This was a woman head over heels in love.

‘You really love him a lot, don’t you?’ She grasped her hand lightly.

‘I love him since before I knew what love was. What I know of love is because of him. What I know of any attachment or emotion is because of him. He is my everything. My world revolves around him.’ Jenny could see how devoted she was to Ram, and she even felt a bit guilty about saying all those things to her about Ram yesterday. But she wasn’t wrong. She knew that. Sita knew that. So she didn’t feel the need to apologize.

‘You are so lucky. Two people falling in love with each other is the most beautiful thing. I am so happy that you found him and that he found you. You two have practically grown up together; it’s such an unbreakable bond. And now that his mission is over, he has come back to you and can finally be with you.’

‘His mission is not over. It has just begun. Getting the ammunition was the first part, Jenny. His mission is freedom. Nobody knows when that will be achieved. Nobody knows whether he will make it out alive.’

There was silence again. Sita’s words were hanging heavy in the air. Jenny couldn’t even argue against it. She had now witnessed firsthand the brutality of the British Empire. They will hunt for Ram, and if he gets captured again, he won’t make it out of it alive.

‘And….and you are okay with that? With him continuing on this path, where you might lose him forever?’

‘Yes, because that’s his destiny. He won’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t fulfill his destiny, his Baba’s mission. And I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t support him through it. Love is not about demanding what you need - love is about giving the person all that he needs. Love is about sacrifices. About seeking joy in small things. Love is knowing that the other person loves you, too, in his own way. And he does; I know that. But he doesn’t know how to show it. He doesn’t really need to - I can read his face better than anyone else. These years have changed him, hardened him. But the Ram I knew is still somewhere there, locked up inside this facade.’ Sita smiled wistfully, thinking of her memories of Ram before the tragedy had hit them. Jenny was lost in her words - they were too deep and profound.

‘Am I keeping you from him? Would you rather sleep in his hut?’ Sita blushed profusely at Jenny's question.

‘No, you silly. Ram and I can’t stay in the same hut alone. We aren’t married yet.’ 

‘Hmm.’ More silence. Jenny was still lost in what Sita had said about love.

‘Since we are talking about love, when will you tell Bheem that you love him?’

Jenny hadn’t anticipated that sneak attack and was completely caught off guard. This was also the first time she heard of love and Bheem together. She hadn’t even allowed her own heart to say it as yet. But Sita being Sita, just put it out so bluntly. Jenny coughed out loud and curled into a ball.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about.’

‘Please don’t insult your and my intelligence by saying that.’ Sita added softly but sternly. Jenny groaned and buried her head into the pillow.

‘I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know if it is love. I do have feelings for him; I won’t deny that. But I can’t put the finger on what those are. It hurts me when he gets hurt. I smile when he is happy. I miss him when he isn’t around. I think about him all the time. But I don’t know if that is love.’ 

Sita smiled softly at her. She wanted to actually scream and say that yes, this is love. But she realized Jenny wasn’t ready to admit the L word yet; she would let her get there in her sweet time. 

‘Ok. Let me paraphrase. When will you tell Bheem that you have feelings for him?’

‘Never.’

‘WHAT?’ This time, Sita screamed out loud.

‘Shush. You heard me. This is not up for discussion. You have to promise me that you won’t breathe a word of this to him.’

‘WHY THE HELL NOT?’ Sita was still screaming. Jenny put her hand over her mouth till she calmed down.

‘Are you ready to listen to me calmly?’ Sita nodded.

‘It’s very simple, Sita. I don’t want this to become any kind of obligation for him. I don’t want him pressured to say something or feel a certain way because he thinks I helped him, and he owes it to me. Knowing the man that he is, he might just do that. Just so I don’t feel slighted or hurt. I can’t have that. It would make me the happiest if he returned my feelings with all his heart, but nothing would be more traumatic and pathetic for me if he felt compelled to do so. I will never force my feelings onto him. I will also not let ANYONE else do that to him on my behalf. Now, promise me you won’t tell him. Or even Ram. I know you are sneaky like that to get Ram to say it to Bheem instead.’ She looked at her sternly, meaning every word.

‘I respect your feelings, Jenny. So I won’t say this is plain stupid, even though that’s what I believe wholeheartedly. And fine, I promise to not say anything to either of them. But if I am asked point blank, I will not lie. I can’t make that promise to you.’

‘Fine.’

‘Fine.’

Both women continued to scrutinize each other, trying to make sense of the situation. Sita murmured after a while. 

‘Are you sure you want to do this, though? What if he doesn’t realize himself? What if it’s too late by then?’

‘You just said that we have to let destiny play out its course, right? And that lov….this sentiment is about giving the other person what he needs? Well, that’s what I am going to do. If he feels the same way & realizes it himself, I will be the happiest girl in the world. If he doesn’t, I will help out as much to your cause in the next few months as I can. Once my job is done, I will go back to London. Trust me, the memories will be enough. I will be content knowing that he is safe and with his people and, quite frankly, alive. That is enough. Whatever time I spend here over the next few months will give me enough memories for a lifetime. I have already gathered quite a few. But under no circumstances will I ever force my feelings on him. I can’t do that, Sita.’ Her voice was shaking as she managed to get out her thoughts. Sita held her hand through it.

‘Ok. If you really want to do this, then fine. And for what it’s worth, my heart says he will realize it. Because he looks at you when he thinks you are not noticing. When he thinks others are not noticing. He ensured everything about your stay here for these 3 days was well thought of. He asked me to stay by your side. He asked me to take care of you and that you will need it. He also asked me to be stubborn with you if needed because you could also be stubborn. You think he doesn’t see you. But I think he sees a lot more than you think. And he feels a lot more than you think.’

Hope was a strange thing. It was also a very cruel thing. Jenny wanted none of it. She heard the words but didn’t let herself believe them.

‘Well, that’s because he is sweet and kind and caring. He is like that with everyone.’

‘Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.’

Neither was ready to concede, so both agreed to disagree. Ultimately, exhaustion took over, and they fell asleep.

The next morning, all of them quickly got back to work. Ram segregated the weapons and set aside the ones they were to carry to Adilabad. He wanted to take a few to start training the tribesmen. Sita chased him till he agreed to be fed and get his dressings chased. Watching Ram get yelled at by that petite woman was very amusing for Jenny. But the villagers didn’t even blink an eye - apparently, it was very normal for the two of them.

Ram established a chain of command for training. He picked out three people who he trained himself. And their job was to train the rest while Ram was away. His direct instructions were to not include just the men but the village's women in training too. He differed from his father in this regard. This was everyone’s revolution, and for it to succeed, women needed to play an equal part. Babai started strategizing with the village elders on who all they could contact to join their movement. The next day and a half went by in a jiffy, and they were to leave for Adilabad the following morning. Jenny was back in the hut, packing up some clothes that the village women had set aside for Adilabad. She was really looking forward to tomorrow morning.

‘Umm Jenny, I am a bit tied up in cooking. Can you please go and change Ram’s dressing?’

Jenny was frozen for a full minute. Unable to come up with any excuse to escape. She absolutely did not want to be alone with Ram. But when her mouth refused to string up any words, she reluctantly agreed. Ram was busy arranging some papers and checking the arrangements while he was going to be away. He didn’t even notice her come in. 

‘Umm, Ram?’ He looked up at her, eyeing her oddly. It was the first time she had spoken to him directly in a long time.

‘Sita is busy, so she has sent me to change your dressing.’ Ram muttered under his breath that he had no time for this stuff, but he knew he would waste a lot more time if he refused. Sita would just barge in and lecture him again. Nope, very inefficient and unproductive. So he took off his shirt and pulled up his pajama to his knees, like an obedient child.

The sight of his injuries was jarring for Jenny. They were a lot fresher than Bheem’s. And she realized why Sita had sent her there - to humanize Ram and show that he had also suffered. That sneaky woman. Jenny had never doubted that Ram had suffered. Of course, he had suffered. Her point had been different, though.

Setting aside her thoughts, Jenny got to work silently. Ram obliged, moving like a doll whenever she asked him to. She got done in 15 minutes and was about to pack up and leave.

‘Umm Jenny…thank you.’

‘Sure, this was nothing.’

‘I am not saying thanks for this.’ He looked down to the ground. She was genuinely surprised.

‘Then, I am a bit confused.’

‘I wanted to thank you for being the only person who is not being sickly sweet with me, even after everything that I have done.’

Ohhh. She wasn’t expecting to hear that. She also wasn’t going to counter him since it was true. So she stayed mum. Ram kept looking at the ground and continued. 

‘I don’t understand these people. I haven’t come back home in ages. I never even wrote to Sita. For years. Yet they continued to believe in me. Yet they look at me as if I am the next coming of god himself. They know what I did, what I had to do to get to this point. At least Sita knows - she knows all the horrible things I did to fulfill my mission. Yet I don’t see any reproach in her eyes. I only see unconditional understanding and support, and even adoration. How? How is she capable of that emotion for a criminal like me?’

That was a lot for Jenny to process. But she also understood where Ram was coming from. Frankly, before coming here, she had wondered the same thing. Ram continued his rant.

‘And Bheem. He forgave me in half a second. Where does he find it in himself to be this kind-hearted? If I were him and someone had done this to me, I would never want to see his face, let alone risk my own life to save him. When I saw him in prison that night, I thought I was hallucinating. I couldn’t believe he had come back to that hellhole to get himself killed. I can’t believe no one told him that was the most stupid thing in the world.’

Jenny almost interrupted him to say that she did tell him, but Bheem didn’t listen. Almost.

‘He says he understands my reasons. And that they were justified. He says he understands that it was the only way for me. He just took my word for it - didn’t even try to question and think for himself if that was really the only way. Even if it were the only way, he didn’t turn around and tell me that if the only way for him to complete his mission was to torture and brutalize me, he would never do it. He would never hurt me. Whatever be his reasons. He never said that. I am pretty sure he never even thought that. What even is that?’

Jenny had to shut her eyes and look away during this piece. This is exactly what she had said to Sita. She was surprised that Ram had come to the same realization himself.

‘All of it is just the tip of the iceberg that is my crimes. There were so many of my countrymen who I had to beat, hurt, maim, and even send to be hanged to death. My own people. Because I saw nothing other than my mission. They were also oppressed. They were also fighting the same battle. They were also part of the same revolution. But I hurt them mercilessly. Because I just decided for myself that my cause was more important than theirs. It didn’t matter to me that I was destroying lives and families. That those people mattered too. It was only when Bheem showed me, in the face of torture and death, how my thinking was so flawed. How everything I had believed so far was just baseless. How each and every innocent life of my countrymen is equally important. Till then, I chose to play god and decided who was dispensable. But Bheem showed me what a messed up creature I am. Honestly, sometimes I wish to jump in Godavari and for it to swallow me whole. I want to punch everyone when they love me and worship me like this. I want to run far far away and just repent for my crimes, for the rest of my life.’ He held his head in his hands, exhausted yet relieved by this confession.

‘For what it’s worth, I agree with you.’ He looked up when he heard these words.

‘I agree you were wrong. I agree that you have been let off too easily. I understand why you feel the way that you do.’ He found it so refreshing. No one had said that to him before. 

‘But what will you get from running away or hurting yourself? You will just hurt the people around you even more. No one has the right to play god with innocent lives. And yes, you did that. Not only that, you did it to your best friend. Someone who trusted you blindly. And you are right in wondering why you are forgiven so easily. By the villagers. By Sita. And most of all…Bheem. There is a simple reason, Ram. They love you. They accept your flaws and love you despite them. They don’t question you because their heart doesn’t allow it. Their heart just wants to believe you because they don’t want to lose you, and they don’t want to see you get hurt. I can’t even begin to explain how lucky one needs to be to receive such love from so many people. You are very lucky, Ram. Most people don’t even have a handful of folks who love them like this. They crave a normal family. They crave this belonging and warmth. You are blessed with all of it - cherish it, Ram. Don’t throw it away. Many people would give their left arm to get what you have.’

Ram was listening to her with rapt attention. It was the first time someone had really seen him for what he had become. And was telling him how to deal with it, not to brush it under the carpet and just move on.

‘You want to repent for your crimes? You should. Do that by realizing that every innocent life is important. You have already realized it now, but you have to live by it. You say you paid no heed to people around you all these years, people who love you immensely. Well, who is stopping you from doing that now? Yes, you have your mission but take out some time to be with them. To be human. Take them along, don’t just make them a bystander or supporter. And I mean it most of all for Sita, in case that wasn’t clear.’

Ram looked down at that. Not being fully fair to Sita was among his biggest guilt. He hadn’t even been able to confess it to Jenny, but she had picked up on that.

‘And as for Bheem, well, he won’t ask for anything from you. You know that already. So you will need to understand how you can help him and what you can do to make him happy. He won’t need much - he is just such a happy creature either way.’

Both of them smiled at this. This was one thing they agreed on completely. If there was one area they could connect on, it was their affection for Bheem. 

‘Basically, you can either feel sorry for yourself and go down a path of remorse that you can’t escape. Or you can actively work to make amends. It really is a no-brainer, Ram.’

Ram had never felt so light and fresh in years. This woman had just shown him the mirror. She had seen the ugly face there, acknowledged it, and addressed it. That was something he had craved for. Every word she said was so apt, so astute. He couldn’t find words to thank her. But he somehow did, and she left soon afterward.

He had felt hope after a long time. He had felt peace after a long time. He will earn everyone’s forgiveness, even if they had given it to him too easily. He won’t stop till he is satisfied. Ram slept peacefully that night after many years. They were all looking forward to tomorrow - when they would see Bheem again. 

.................................................................................

And that was Ch 2. As always, your thoughts/comments are most welcome. Tons more of beautiful Bheem in the next chapter :)

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