#REPEAT HOMEOSTASIS

[taichi-x-koushiro]

A Summary of Repeatverse {if not Tri as a whole}

Repeat!Daisuke, holding up a Not Great Drawing: Well, basically, to stop the Virus, which Meicoomon was Infected with, from being spread further amongst the Digimon, your group 'originally', in 2005, went off to the Digital World to beat up, and get information out of, one of the key guys who first appeared, that "Alphamon"... then the fake Kaiser showed up!... then the older "Gennai"! Jou: T-Those {drawings} look nothing like them!! Mimi, EXCITED: No, I kind of see it!! Repeat!Ken, Helpfully Adding as Daisuke holds up more drawings: But Alphamon wasn't necessarily a wholly "bad" Digimon, {though Alphamon DID Get up to a Lot of Things...} and the "Kaiser" was a fake who ended up 'being' that "Gennai", who was ALSO a fake. Repeat!Daisuke: So you realized that the guy who's extremely evil was {Holding up scribbled Drawing!!} "Yggdrasil", who has a role in 'maintaining' the supposed "balance" of the Digital World, along with {Holding up Another Drawing} "Homeostasis", that 'being' who keeps trying to possess Hikari-chan! Repeat!Miyako, ADDING: "Homeostasis" also realized "Yggdrasil" was extremely evil and is trying to fight Yggdrasil for control to 'maintain' the "balance", but that makes "Homeostasis" something like our 'enemy' now too, regardless of its original "intentions" being 'good' or not! Repeat!Daisuke: THATS SO SIMPLE THEN!!! REPEAT!DAISUKE, FIRED UP: DEFEAT YGGDRASIL!!!!! A.U!Koushiro: (*facefaulting, along with Taichi by side*) {'I-It's not quite that simple, but let's go along with this for now, then.'}

[featherymainffins]

Deeply fascinated by this one youtuber whose video I'm currently watching who's like "-because my husband has led a lifelong battle with his weight. Mostly a losing one. He would always lose like...15 pounds at most and then put them back on." and she's describing how he's been trying all his life over and over and keep in mind that this man is in his late 40s. So you know that's probably nearly 3 decades of doing the same thing over and over with no results for the temporary loss of 7 kg. Which can't even be visible because that man is tall and fairly big.

Like...I have an idea...might be a really crazy one...just a really out there idea but hear me out...maybe...just theoretically...stop doing that?

[koushirouizumi]

An {02}x{Tri} Concept

{"Yami no Sekai"} / (once) {"Ankoku no Sekai"} = {"World of Darkness"} ("Dark Ocean" in U.S. Localized Dub; "World of Darkness" in J.P.N)

"Tottori also boasts the third highest peak in Japan, only Mount Fuji and Yarigatake beat it on height."

Daisen, which ranks No. 3 among Japan’s famous peaks after Mt. Fuji and Yarigatake, sits alongside the Tottori Sand Dunes and is one of the representative natural heritage sites for Tottori Prefecture.

An attractive mountain which has a variety of expressions depending on where you view it, seeing it from the west is exceptional. Also known as Houki-Fuji, it has the gentle slopes and grand scenery reminiscent of Mt. Fuji.

{"Dandan!"} / {"Thank you!"} - Meicoomon learning Meiko's local Tottori dialect

The view of Daisen from the northern end of Daisen Town is called Kitakabe (Northern Wall), and it has the characteristic of a sheer rock face that measures 400m high and 2km in length. It differs from the more feminine appearance of the west side and it has a masculine rough-hewn mountain valley. The best view is at Daisen Ski Resort. The large looming cliff there is an overwhelming sight. In addition, the view of the mountain from Koufu Town to the south is known as Minamikabe (Southern Wall). As with Kitakabe, Minamikabe has precipitous folds and the harmony among the bare rock face, the fresh leaves and then the autumn colors is lovely no matter how you say it. Source: "Four Impressive Tottori Sights for Tourists"

[dromaeotrash]

.

[taichi-x-koushiro]

@taikouvember!

Prompt: LIGHT; + What is your favorite aspect{s} about their relationship/dynamic with Hikari? + What is your favorite aspect{s} about their relationship/dynamic with Mimi? {Belated}

{This AMV has background implied KouTai, as typical for this series!} (along with sections for Mimi & Hikari separately, + {Side} Koushiro & Mimi, & {Side} Koushiro & Hikari {Background Implied Only}; Platonic/in Spinoff AUs or Otherwise) * Koushiro & Hikari is only applicable to more fully main-canon compliant timeline{s}; [in that specific case, Taichi & Koushiro are platonic, but in most of my works/AMVs, they're intended as Ship.]

{Polyships can also be read in for A.U. Potentials, including Koushiro x Taichi x Mimi as a trio/OT3!!}

Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr is {seemingly} experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here! (If it seems permanently down, please leave a comment or tag to notify me!)

Note: Many more AMVs for this series have been made since this particular one, which could be considered an “New Phase” (or in-between point) of the 2nd-to-3rd phase/set of AMVs! (This AMV was closer to the "3rd Phase" stretch) {As in, the next series of AMVs I had initially planned to make; many more have been Inspired to be made since!!} Please see this post, made later than this post was, for most of the rest of the AMVs + edits currently in this series!

{This specific AMV is also a Positivity work for Mimi Tachikawa & Hikari Yagami; [Tri. versions of both + Koushiro & Taichi Included] +both as separate characters. Please acknowledge+respect this if you share!}

Digimon Adventures ~ x Kagerou Project “My Funny Weekend” AMV [music © Jin, singer: Hatsune Miku {Vocaloid}] featuring CHARACTERS/DUO/SHIP[s]: MIMI TACHIKAWA, HIKARI YAGAMI (as supporting characters) + Taichi Yagami [Taichi “Tai” Kamiya in U.S. Dub] x Koushiro(u) Izumi [Koushiro “Izzy” Izumi] ~ {KOUTAI}/[Taishiro(u)] & with bonus scenes for: Jou Kido x Mimi Tachikawa [Joumi] as a main ship Miyako Inoue x Hikari Yagami [Miyakari] Sora Takenouchi x Mimi [So(Ra)Mi] as side main ship Mimi Tachikawa x Meiko Mochizuki [MiMei] {brief} Miyako Inoue -> Mimi Tachikawa [Mimiyako] as implied crush Taichi x Koushiro x Meiko [TaiKouMei] x Mi (Mimi) as equal polyships Taichi x Koushiro x Mimi [TaiKouMi] as an equal OT3 Daisuke Motomiya* x Hikari x Miyako as equal polyship {brief} (* Ken can be read in into the background if you like Dai/Ken[suke] ) [ or DaiKenMiyakari as an equal polyship ] Yamato x Sora [Sorato] / x Mimi [YamaSoMi] as an equal OT3 {brief} [or +Jou for YamaJouraMi] as equal polyships ~ you can feel free to read in whichever of the above pairs you want (or anything else that’s in my shiplist pretty much!) however, please keep in mind the main ship is Taishiro. It is not intended as brotp only but as ship.

PAST AMVS / VIDEO EDITS IN THIS SERIES: Kagerou Daze (Heat-Haze Daze) / Children Record [+Adv Chosen] / RED / Additional Memory and Imaginary Reload music edits for KageDaze / Days (short edit) / Lost Time Memory / Yesterday Evening / Summertime Record / Shounen Brave [+Jou] / Outer Science [+Villains] / Headphone Actor (short edit) / DAZE (short version / TV Size OP) / KOUSHIROS ? CYBER JOURNEY [+Maki] / Brave Heart x Kaien Panzermast [+Chosen Children] / Night Tales Deceive [Yobanashi Deceive] / [KOUSHIRO’S] Imaginary World / Mekakushi Code [Blindfold Code] [+Yamato&Sora&Adv Chosen] / Ultramarine Rain [+Mrs Yoshie Izumi; Izumis] / Imagination Forest [+Mimi&Jou] / Transparent Answer [TaiKou+Meiko] / Jinzou Enemy [Artificial Enemy] / DEAD and SEEK (short edit) / Headphone Actor (Full version Preview) / Otsukimi Recital [Moon Viewing Recital] [Advs Taishiro & 2020 Taishiro] (Note: Check the link for ‘ Otsukimi Recital ‘ for all links to any past AMVs as well as story info / the story introduction link!) (*It’s ok to start on/only watch this current AMV!) [*You may understand the story/implied timeline of things better if you begin from my “Kagerou Daze” AMV, though it’s also not required! “Children Record” is also recommended as a starting point/upbeat song! “DAZE” also serves as a mini Opening theme song and is also upbeat!] {NOTE : PLEASE read my FAQ and “about” sections BEFORE interacting directly with me, my contents / fanworks / this series, or my blog!!!}

[More info + lyrics under the ‘read more’!]

Keep reading

[mindfulstudyquest]

“ dopamine detox ,, and why you should delete all your social media right now

"just five more minutes" and then you end up scrolling on instagram or tiktok for hours. i know that feeling. even if you know rationally that focusing on the really important things ( such as studying, working, learning from books or whatever ) is much healthier for you and your future, you can't help it.

you know that start studying for the exam you have next week will benefit you much more in the long run, but you still prefer watching tiktoks and scrolling on instagram. you could say that is pretty obvious: one activity is easy, and doesn't require much effort, whereas the other one is difficult and implies that you are focused.

but it's actually like this? so then why some people manage to be consistent in studying, or working, or exercising? they simply just have more motivation than you? and how can you start having the same motivation as them?

to answer this question, we have to take a look to a very important molecule produced by our brain: dopamine.

dopamine is often considered a pleasure molecule, but it's a false belief. dopamine is actually the molecule that makes us desire things, and it's that desire that gives us the motivation to complete every kind of task. for example, your brain doesn't release dopamine while you're eating a cheesburger, it releases it while you're going to mcdonald's to buy it, because you anticipate that the food will make you feel good, even if it actually makes you feel worse.

to your brain, it doesn't matter if the high-dopamine-activity is damaging to you.

your brain organizes priorities based off how much dopamine is expecting to get:

if an activity releases too little dopamine, you won't have the motivation to accomplish it.

if an activity releases a lot of dopamine you'll be motivated to do it, and repeat it over and over

so, which activities releases dopamine? basically, any activity where you can get an immediate potential reward releases an high amount of dopamine. but if you know that there's not an immediate reward invoved ( such as in studying, where the reward is in the long run ) your brain will not expect to release much of it and you'll be less motivated to do that task.

nearly everything releases some amount of dopamine, even drinking water when you're thirsty, but the highest amount of it is released when you're getting a reward randomly, for example while playing on a slot machine. even if you loose money, you eventually expect to get a bigger reward.

therefore it is not so surprising that the most additive social networks ( tiktok, instagram, pinterest ) are designed as slot machines. you don't know what the next post or video will be, but you expect something great, so your brain releases a large amount of dopamine.

in today's society our brains are overloaded with stimuli that induce an unnatural production of dopamine ( scrolling on social media, playing video games, watching internet pornograhy, etc. ).

it's frightening that people don't know how harmful this lifestyle is: our bodies have a biological sistem called homeostasis, which means that our bodies keep the internal physical and chemical conditions at a balanced level, whenever an imbalance occurs, our bodies adapt to it, for example, when it's very hot our body temperature rises and we start sweating to cool down.

but homeostasis manifests through tolerance too. for example, someone who hardly ever drinks alchool will be tipsy after one beer, on the other hand, someone who drinks alchool on a regular basis will need two, three, four beers in order to get drunk, because their body has developed a tolerance to it. it's not much different with dopamine.

so if you get used to large amounts of dopamine, you won't be able to do the things that you did before, because they don't produce as much dopamine and it's more difficult to motivate yourself to do them. once your dopamine tolerance gets too high, you are no longer able to enjoy low dopamine activities.

as if you were a drug addict, there's only one way to get out of it: you have to perform a dopamine detox. you have to avoid all high dopamine activities in order to allow your body to adjust to a normal level of dopamine production and start finding motivation again in the things that improve your personal growth.

it's not easy, you will be nervous and frustrated, maybe you won't make it through a full day without social media, but day by day it will get better and better, and eventually you'll be able to appreciate small things again.

imagine that you're eating your favorite food - for example, chocolate cake - every single day. after a while, chocolate cake doesn't taste good as before, even if it's literally the same cake. on the other hand, if you eat it once a month, it will taste great, because it's not something you've gotten used to.

this is exactly what dopamine detox does. be safe guys, and start recovering now.

[ source: https://youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk ]

[fatliberation]

Set weight theory is interesting but I find hard to believe that anyone's set weight is going to be 600lbs. And it's dangerous to ignore that being extremely heavy won't make your life harder or more succetible to some health issues.

Genetics play a big role in determining your set point, which is the place where our natural weight falls and where our bodies experience homeostasis. And sometimes that point starts out fat! I'm not sure how common it is to start out very fat, and I don't think it's impossible, but it's likely that many folks in the 600+ club have experienced changes in their set point. Set point actually increases the more depravation your body experiences. Let's say you're dieting and your weight dips below your set point. Your body basically enters starvation mode and fights for survival (slowing your metabolism, changing hormone levels to reduce fullness and increase hunger) and doing what it can to hold onto that energy deposit. Now you've regained that weight and then some, and the extra weight sort of acts as an "insurance policy" to prepare for another period of depravation. So now your set point rests at a higher weight than before. You try another diet, lose weight, and the cycle continues. According to theory, someone who has a long history of dieting, disordered eating, restriction, periods where food was inaccessible, or anything that led to weight cycling could very well have a set point of 600lbs or above.

[ID: A graph labeled "The Set Point Theory" by Beth Rosen, MS, RD, CDN, showing a straight-sized body at a starting set point. The graph descends in a staircase-like fashion, and at the lowest point in the graph, the body is thinner. The graph climbs up to a bar higher than the original, labeled "New Set Point." The body at the new set point is wider than the body at the original set point. The graph repeats once more, and the body gradually gets wider. End ID.]

All this to say - weight loss doesn't work. No one is saying that there aren't any adverse effects that come with being that size. I have no idea where you're coming from with that but it really sounds like anti-HAES fear-mongering crap. (Health at Every Size doesn't mean "everyone is healthy at every size." It means everyone has a right to pursue healthcare without weight loss.) No one is "ignoring" the challenges that superfat and infinifat people face. What we are saying is that the alternative (weight loss) does nothing but cause harm. So just let fat people be fat, dude.

[sangysquish]

Living Dead Boy

was in the mood for some pretty boy recently, so here's a new boy, Knell!

Knell is an undead necromancer who used his high proficiency in alchemy to achieve homeostasis in the never ending cycle of death and life, thus creating a continuous state of undeath.

of course, this type of divine feat does not come without a price...

to complete the ritual of undeath, he sacrificed his entire physical body in exchange for immortality. however, Knell saw this sacrifice as an opportunity rather than a loss.

upon completion of the ritual, Knell had his newly freed consciousness and soul anchored to a body that he felt was more suitable to house his being.

Knell's previous body had always felt wrong to him anyways, like he was living in skin that wasn't his own. ironically, living in someone else's skin is exactly what makes him feel like his true self now.

also fun fact, his eyes are branded with the alchemical symbols for death and life, which are repeated again on his forehead and necklace!

[gowns]

THIS IS VITAL. Do not convince yourself that you have "insomnia" or go into bed thinking you're going to have trouble sleeping. Even if you've been professionally diagnosed. Doctors don't care about you the same way you care about yourself, so keep this in mind. You're one of many patients to them so you need to take control of your own health, and sometimes that means completely rejecting their advice and diagnoses. You need to tell yourself that you're simply going through a rough period and sleep might be difficult, but you're fine. I can't stress how important it is to psychologically believe that things are fine and/or will get better. A major component of insomnia for people who suffer from anxiety is the very anxiety around not being able to sleep. The anxiety compounds the issue and it thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's one of the many cases in humans where if you believe it's a problem, it WILL be a problem.

You need to find a way to, over time, decouple the association between sleep and whatever negative delusional spin you're putting on it. Do not predict the future with false and irrelevant evidence from the past. A bad night of sleep, or no sleep the day before does not mean it's going to repeat in the future. This is highly ILLOGICAL, but your brain won't care about this, it will force those thoughts on you. Be aware of your own cognitive behaviors and beat them out with clear, logical thinking. Obviously, this will be difficult since emotional states cause us to think delusionally, and insomnia along with the accompanying sleep deprivation will make it worse, but the big takeaway is to realize that you can't really trust your brain at this time because it isn't functioning properly and is under a lot of stress. This process can take time, be patient with yourself, especially if you think nutrition might be a factor. It's vitally important to remember that YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP. EVERY HUMAN HAS THIS ABILITY unless you have extremely rare genetic disorders or severe nutritional deficiencies that can EASILY be corrected.

You need to realize that it's ENTIRELY NORMAL to have problems falling asleep for days, weeks or even months at a time. Your case is likely NOT UNIQUE, and many millions of people over millenia have suffered and successfully recovered from this disturbance. It is scary because it is happening to YOU, but take comfort in the fact that it is also common and treatable. This is not blind hope, or lying to yourself, these are FACTS THAT YOU NEED TO CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELF OF because your brain will already be doing a great job of bringing you down with negative thoughts. You must truly believe that you're going to get better and fix the problem, while taking every possible step you can to move the dial in the right direction towards progress.

Take comfort in the fact that many people have sleepless periods like this for various reasons. Stress, nutritional deficiencies, terrible diets, anxiety, grieving, depression, breakups, divorces, etc. It's crucial to remember that all psychological stresses will diminish over time and you will return to normalcy. Your brain is constantly adjusting towards homeostasis, so YOU WILL HEAL IN TIME. YOU MUST KNOW THIS. Don't get obsessive over how long your recovery is taking, or set arbitrary goalposts (e.i. "I should be fine in a week"). Take things one day at a time.

Also be aware that stress depletes magnesium, which is responsible for reining in ruminating thoughts and relaxing you. Again, I urge anyone with insomnia and/or anxiety to do ample research on magnesium. It is absolutely a life safer.

[x]

[atsoraasayoma]

My newest head cannon is Homeostasis is actually Ygdrassil and is using the Ygdrassill persona to get what she wants.

She had the Digidestined as deterrents and pawns for the Digital world she but doesn’t need them anymore.

So what does she want? She wants balance. But what is balance? Endless conflict. The good defeats the evil and keeps repeating the process. Birth and destruction over and over again as long as she is the one in command,

When the reboot happened in Tri even all the viral Digimon came back. That’s when she was like ‘you remember what you did before defeating these challenges?’

Well I’m letting them loose. And I am erasing your save file. Also I’m hijacking Hikari and merging two mega felines to make my siren and use her negative emotions to destroy your world.

Also the Digital World wants to cause the Digidestined as much discomfort as possible.

I think Homeostasis truly hates humanity. She loves using them as discardable tools and letting all those she possesses deal with the psychological torment after.

Remember how messed up Maki Himekawa got? Remember how disillusioned and devastated Hikari got? And then by proxy Rui. That poor kid.

Also the sadistic dark Gennai is Homeostasis mocking the human race with carnal murderous desires. Licking Sora, Choking Meiko, and just trolling the others especially with Ken’s persona.

Also remember that dangerous metal dragon you only beat with the light boost from Hikari? Well now he’s hunting you down for sport.

The Digidestined are nothing but clowns! Because they are nothing without their partners. But don’t tell that to Jou who straight up pins Gennai to the ground while Gomamon flopped them fishes around.

Wasn’t aware the darkness could possess Hikari to. Or maybe that’s what Homeostasis Wants us to think and it’s still her the whole time.

[fancifulplaguerat]

My Nina/Polyhedron thoughts have afflicted me with considering how Aglaya’s hellbent mission to destroy the Polyhedron informs her hatred of Nina and vice versa. I want to structure this around this dialogue between Clara and Daniil:

“Aglaya sees the Polyhedron as Nina Kaina's infernal gift. She thinks that Nina rose high, but her pride drew down the wrath of heavens. Aglaya believes that her duty is to destroy this challenge before it has lead to more evil. Or maybe she doesn't even believe that […] She desperately, hopelessly abhors her sister. Even stronger than her worst enemy. When I got to uncover this secret and looked into her soul, my hair stood on end! Aglaya believes her sister to be the devil himself, a deathbringer.” 

I feel it is a little pointless to establish how much Aglaya hates Nina because lol. lmao. Aglaya put her whole heart and soul and pussy too into hating Nina’s guts it is not difficult to parse. But I do want to point to two dialogues which reference this. An Herb Bride claims that “[Nina and Aglaya] hate one another. Or rather the inquisitor hates the Mistress. I think Nina probably disregarded her,” but Victor states that “[there was a] mutual grudge between the sisters that persisted despite the difference in age. It’s a terrible, hopeless feud that even the elder sister’s death has done nothing assuage.” I am inclined to follow Victor’s claim, given that he was undoubtedly closer to them.

As for *why* Aglaya and Nina were perpetually at odds, I think it is foremost because Aglaya considered Nina cruel for her disregard of human life. While Aglaya is rather sharp-tongued and harsh, she is highly motivated by a desire to help and protect others. Indeed she spells it out in some instances, saying, “I am a humanitarian. My duty is to save people, not kill them,” and “I only wish to do good; not specific, targeted good, like that Clara, but overarching good.” She likewise tells Clara, “Human lives are valuable to me. To this day, I’ve been paying for my kind-heartedness.” Which. I am routinely obsessed with that last sentence. In my opinion, it implies Aglaya is prone to sympathy or kindness, that she perhaps even resents this feature of herself. That in turn suggests to me that this kind-heartedness is a prominent feature of her personality, if it is something that (by her admission) routinely bites her in the ass. And I can see sympathy being an issue for her, being an Inquisitor. Despite her ruthlessness, Aglaya cares for others; thus her resentment for Nina seems rooted in her conviction that Nina is an opposing force for absolute evil and harm, just as Aglaya conceives of miracle and the Polyhedron.

Aglaya characterizes herself as a servant of the law, one who “restore[s] the mechanics of the Universe.” She defines the Law as balance and harmony—anything which ruptures that homeostasis has violated the Law, and this is what Aglaya deems “evil.” Aglaya repeats this viewpoint to all three healers, but I think a prominent example is when she tells Clara that “Miracles violate the world; they're abusive in nature. When the world was conceived, it was conceived as a coherent whole, without contradictions. Harmony is the main, indeed the only component of any Universe. However ugly a world may be, however unfair it may seem—it is nonetheless harmonious!” She likewise states that “When mysterious evil emerges from nonexistence, it’s a clear sign that [the Law] has been violated. Disease is a retribution for trespassers. It’s an attempt to restore the balance.” She further says: “In accordance with the Law, the very logic of our world inevitably dictates the destruction of anything unnatural: anything that tries to break its own, non-capitalized laws. The disease is nothing more than a tool. It is an instrument of inevitability.” This logic informs her motivations in-game, with several dialogues across routes telling the player that Aglaya seeks to destroy the Polyhedron rather than end the epidemic. This aligns with Aglaya’s conception of the universe, the Law, and justice; after all, Aglaya views the Sand Pest as an instrument of the Law, retribution for the Kains’ miracle—as she says, “The Law stipulates a harsh punishment for an attempt to capture a miracle.” Thus to Aglaya, it is the Polyhedron which presents the true evil, not the disease.

It further interests me that Clara claims that to Aglaya, “there are no such things as miracles; that’s just the way she was made.” That fundamentally Aglaya cannot conceive of the miraculous, unlike her sister, who was predisposed to it. This reinforces that to Aglaya, the Polyhedron cannot be a miracle, only a violation of the Law which thus spawned the plague as punishment. I think Aglaya could likewise consider the Polyhedron and Nina as one and the same, which they are, to an extent—even without my preferred interpretations, Nina is playing musical soul chairs in that thing when not haunting her husband bodily. And given that Aglaya is a self-described servant of the Law and Nina functionally Utopia, I feel that one could view the two sisters as representative of these respective entities perpetually at odds with one another. Yet even with Aglaya and Nina in contrasting roles, I still hold that there is much similarity between them, but. This post is plenty lengthy already, so I shall save that for a later date :,) I wanted to end, instead, with some speculation about Aglaya’s sense of revenge, in particular given that last sentence of Clara’s dialogue—“Or maybe she doesn’t even believe that.”

Returning to that conversation with Victor, I am struck by his response when Artemy asks who could have motivated Aglaya’s potential schemery in Town. That is: “Not a ‘who.’ A ‘what.’ Despair.” This, in my mind, echoes Aglaya’s dialogue when she discusses Block. She claims that, “For a moment, I thought he was driven by the same feeling that I am: a great man, when unexpectedly betrayed by the people he loves, will often seek to fill the whole universe with his blind spite. Yes, the feeling is indeed familiar…” And that line goddamn haunts me. There seems a suggestion, if minimal, that Aglaya’s anger may be influenced by a sense of wounding or betrayal? Not solely her own death or trying to drag Nina down on her way to the grave (it makes me unwell that Clara says Aglaya wants to destroy the Polyhedron “As her final word.” Insanity. Btw.) I suppose Aglaya’s despair or betrayal could broadly refer to some capital confidants of hers, but I do wonder if it references Nina somehow? If only from a narrative standpoint, given that Nina informs Aglaya’s revenge and thus main drive in the story. Once again, characters reiterate that Aglaya’s Inquisitorial duty in Town is a mere means to the end of destroying the Polyhedron; for instance, Daniil states Aglaya “tried to settle personal accounts with her deceased sister” rather than fulfill her duty.

I have no answer to this, I only wonder—does Aglaya somehow feel betrayed by Nina? Did Aglaya even have enough attachment to Nina to feel betrayal to begin with? Maybe one could interpret that, given Aglaya’s description of herself as motivated by blind spite incurred by an unexpected betrayal by people she loves. I don’t know. But I find that far more compelling than Aglaya hating Nina without question, in particular when considering their relationship through the lens of Aglaya as the Law and Nina as Utopia.

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion, episode 15: Lies and Silence

Before I begin, I was thinking about it this morning and I'm wondering if NERV is indeed trying to bring on the apocalypse (and to create an Eden for fetus Adam to live in) and the Angels are in fact the good guys trying to stop them. There's a lot of talk about saving humanity but it kind of seems to me like the second impact was due to humans killing an Angel, who then exploded? It makes me wonder what kind of research they were doing on that Arctic base (Antarctic?) Idk, but to me it seems like humanity as a whole has not been in danger from the Angels: it's just NERV. But I'm also kind of hung up on the Instrumentality part of the Human Instrumentality project. Instrumental for what?

Anyway, I'll keep wondering on it, but I'm going to start the episode.

"Every project is interlinked"

is the first time we're hearing about the Marduk institute?

Oh, okay. So it sounds like the Human Instrumentality project is about trying to find kids to pilot the Evangelions. That makes sense. They are the instruments in piloting the Evas. So perhaps Adam has been genetically engineered to be the perfect pilot.

Asuka! Oh my gosh! Girl who cried wolf!

Shinji has been preoccupied with Rei since that thing happened in Unit 0, maybe?

Asking Rei for advice on how to talk to his own dad. Poor kid

He's comparing Rei to a mother. IS SHE A CLONE OF HIS MOTHER. Also, he's so awkward.

Or maybe she's a robot with his mother's personality inside. Oooooooh.

When Asuka asked to borrow Misato's lavender perfume my first thought was of Love Spell.

Oh, he's going to see his mother tomorrow! She's alive and also apparently negligent.

I'm chuckling because my first thought on seeing Kaji was, "You couldn't even shave for your friend's wedding?" and then Misato got on him for the same thing lol.

Nope, his mom is actually dead.

That's a very stark cemetery.

So he can't remember her face, there are no photographs that exist, the grave is just a facade... So mysterious.

"I see." What an ass.

I didn't know Shinji played an instrument! And so beautifully!

Shinji is so sweet and positive. I just love him so much.

Ritsuko's comment on transistasis and homeostasis has me thinking about the potential that NERV is trying to force human evolution. Perhaps they want to create a symbiotic relationship with the Evas? I don't know about that... Trying to evolve them to be compatible with technology? Space travel? Is the planet doomed?

Kaji is such a smooth talker.

Yeah, kiss her. That'll shut her up.

Asuka, Jesus Christ. Mocking Shinji about his dead mom to bully him into kissing you. Girl, please.

I'm wheezing! He turned fuschia!

Is it because he couldn't breathe? Omg

Asuka... Sweetheart... You're just repeating his warning back to him.

I wonder if Asuka realizing Misato and Kaji have a thing is going to interfere with her ability to complete her next mission.

There's the central dogma! Rei's in a tube hooked up to what looks like a metal brain.

Okay, so I'm thinking about how when Shinji was in Unit 0 he was like, "Oh, it's Rei. Wait, that's not-" and then creepy Rei looked up at him and jumped towards him and that is when Unit 0 flipped out and started trying to get to the real Rei. So I am thinking there are perhaps multiple people inside Rei (this is also influenced by the fact that when I was looking up to see if ep. 14 was a recap episode I saw it mentioned that Rei is schizophrenic. However, I'm not sure I believe she's actually schizophrenic. I kind of think she is actually harboring another person and that it's Shinji's mother.)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH ADAM IS THE FIRST ANGEL?

I had kind of wondered if there was an Angel inside the facility. I had initally assumed there would be one kept top secretly but they kept saying how they needed to catch one for research so I was like, "Oh, maybe not, but that's weird that they wouldn't have on after all this time." Especially with everything they seem to know about them. I figured it had to be they either created them or were studying them.

In Closing

I'm so excited! Mysteries are starting to come to light!

Okay, let me see if I can organize my current theories:

Rei might be an imprint Shinji's mother - possibly she's an android, possibly just a person with an especially impressionable brain. But I think that there's Rei the girl and then also the additional personality/ies if this is the case.

NERV is going to perhaps force human evolution using genetic engineering. Or, they might be planning an apocalypse. The Angels may be trying to stop this from happening. I really have no idea.

I just considered that given the ages of the children and the timeline of the second impact, is it possible that children who were in-utero/ conceived around or after that time have some kind of Angel influence within their DNA? Like some kind of radiation? Could this be why only kids can operate the Evas? Are Angels neccessary for the next phase of whatever NERV has planned?

I feel like there's more but I want to hurry up and get to the next episode, so bye.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

The Everyday Practice of Abundance Consciousness

What was I thinking? Who was I trying to be? It’s unlike me at this stage of my life to think more than I am being.  I’m no longer interesting in trying to grind it out during the wee hours of the morning. I'm taking a break from the few tasks I have left on my books for 7-10 days. I have sacred things I do to protect my body from absorbing too many EMFs, and what's also true, is that when you are a deep feeler/ highly sensitive, you receive deeper wisdom than most (which is a divine and precious gift that helps people like me to serve in the world) but you also deeply receive waves of stressful energy far more easily than most ...even with the metrics of protection surrounding you.

There is no separation or difference. If you have the gift of heart, intuition, and deeper sight, you have to manage not living in the shadows of those gifts. We weren’t physiologically designed to sit behind these computers, staring into them for days/weeks at a time which is what I have been doing. When your awareness expands, you are no longer numb to what’s happening with your body which stops you from repeating the same patterns that will deepen your body’s pain and suffering overtime. When I’m on my computer or phone too many days in a row, I can actually feel the waves draining my vitality, re-configuring my cells, and shifting the quality of my life.

Our eyes---the windows to our soul-- need to peak at trees, dirt, and sunlight undistractedly. I’m grateful that I curated a life where I can turn off my phone and computer, put them away in the back of my closet for a few days, and dust off my record player and finally read “Of Water and the Spirit.”

How we sense “time” is always a reflection of the consciousness we are living in. And there are only two types of consciousness: Fear/Scarcity/Lack or Love/Abundance/Vitality. When we release ourselves from expectations, we curate more abundant space for joy, and become free...eventually. I started shifting my energy imprint away from the consciousness of fear/scarcity/lack and into abundance consciousness around 12-15 years ago (I lost track of the exact time) despite not having any evidence of abundance in my life as I was working 50 hours per week and in a toxic relationship. In the beginning of shifting between paradigms and consciousness, there can be a lot of grave tension, release, pain, resistance, loneliness, and disruption, until finally homeostasis settles (may takes months or years). Abundance consciousness also gets us back into our bodies in real ways and allows us to genuinely love ourselves as we are, beyond every materialistic system. If we can hold the candle lit towards abundance consciousness, then the universe has no choice but to organize life around us in such a way that matches our new imprint/emanation like an algorithm...eventually. It takes time though and patience. And we have to be soft and strong enough not to give up on it or the new version of ourselves.

The Ingenious Divine Feminine Medicine Path

Let’s climb in a little deeper and get more grounded into this teaching.  What I have to say now is NOT for everyone, only for those with spiritual resonance.  My work is all about educating on how to reclaim the highest transmutation frequencies and greatest integrity that will “heal” or restore our individual selves and bring more collective harmony on this planet.  When we are not living in abundance, flooded in resources as part of our divine natural birthright, there is a part of our unconscious mind (our shadow) that likes not living in the abundance and is in love with scarcity and lack because it feels familiar and safe. We don’t *consciously* love it, of course, but we do unconsciously LOVE the drama, karma, and lack of ease--all those internal chemicals, feels, and sensations. We have to learn to love what’s happening, not just in our light but in our darkest most hidden, sometimes filthiest or dank aspects. We love being broke, not have enough “time,” feeling not enough, feeling ugly, having people be jealous of us, attracting narcissistic people... because a part of us is narcissistic or at least attracted to being victimized, etc. A portal opens when we stop outsourcing our experiences (and the raw energy coiled within them that we need) onto someone else such as “oh, but he was a narcissistic so I...” or “my boss did this so I didn’t...”  or “they made me...” Being courageous and seeing how you love and find comfort in specific exhaustive frequencies year after year, whether it is karmic or a conditioned pattern, allows you to access the dark energy within these experiences, the benevolent creative energy or “yin/feminine energy” , that gives you greater access to your full potential, the raw energy beyond the stories. Accessing this raw energy releases the resistance and stuckness and brings more flow and momentum towards your soul’s true path. This is all sexual energy. This is how we begin to love and adore the truth of what the feminine really is.

Much of the work has to do with “sexual healing,” because this is usually where the energy is stuck or kinked up that is shrinking our life force also known as prana also known as potential. Sexual healing happens when you begin to have full access to your life force energy.  Coming into full integrity with your energy body will make you feel more alive, abundant, and connected to spirit. In order to attract the kind of relationship you long for, you have to be the kind of person you desire to meet. To be ready for the most amazing relationship, you have to go into dark “wombed” energy and clear out what is inhibiting full access to your life force energy.

Returning to the Original Template: A Keeper of Infinite Possibilities

Our souls are equipped for these times but we do have to be intentional in our unlearning to override the body’s signals so that we can come back to what we we born for and share the gifts we have been entrusted with. I intentionally created my life from the wisdom and medicine I gained through my decolonial sexual healing practices, like learning to connect to the divine through undulating my hips as prayer in wild, uncultivated, ‘off-the-beaten-path’ nature. Everyone needs sexual healing due to the limits and trauma that have been inflicted upon over many timelines, not from a place of victimization, but from the archetype of the alchemist so that we can retrieve back our freedom of time, energy, and resources.

No one escapes the impact of a sexually wounded society that shrouds us in limits around time, resources, and possibility. The messaging handed down to us by our parents, by religions, and by advertising, porn, celebrities, music, etc lives active in our root posterier chain- our backs, spine, hips, glutes, knees, pelvis, and bellies. As part of the female lineage, we naturally carry around so much of what’s happening in the collective within. All the cultural, inherited, and religious sexual shame and guilt make home out of our bodies. Most of us are not fully aware of the impact that these collective residences have on our health, relationships, capacity to receive money, and other forms of abundance like “time-freedom.”  We are supposed to care, go inside ourselves like mothers delivering our own babies, and birth real solutions that do not look like us constantly absorbing and never pulling the roots.

Because nowhere in the Western world are we taught that our sexual energy is sacred, regenerates our bodies, and is connected to every part of our lives and the earth. Or that our sexual energy isn’t just about sex. It is our flow of life force. It is our heartbeat. And it is absolutely necessary to have access to our sexual energy beyond the shame and wounding if we desire to truly live. Instead we respond to our sexual energy through hurts and trauma by shutting ourselves down in order to feel safe. And these unconscious ways stay with us and effect us in every way.  All the sneaking around, embarrassment, hiding, and performing around bodies and sex, commodifying our sex mainly for the male gaze, and shame around being a sexual being actually shuts down our potential in the external world, including freedom from Gregorian time and the ability to regenerate our bodies.. Amplifying your sexual energy grows your prana/life force which means that how to increase your prana has to become a part of your wellness practice. Purifying your sexual energy is a big part of it. Without this sexual healing, we have no roots or wings. No earth, no heaven. 

Life gets to be incredibly easy and truthful for us all. We do not have force or push through like machinery. I wish you a life of abundance, where you do not have to hustle and be in constant out-put mode, and can take as many breaks as needed to water yourself (your actual cells) so that you continue to pour from your overflow and have a healthy immune system and pain-free periods as a result. Female physiology is so tender and needs abundance: rest, nature, quiet, touch, belly laughs, and breaks, basic human needs that my heart won’t allow me to ignore or bypass. When you live aligned with the consciousness of abundance, it goes against your nature and principles to force, shallow breathe, or live desperately. Abundance consciousness gives us plethora of options to choose from which includes the ability to: 1. take our time and 2. take care of our cells.  The Melody of Love is so delicious though ...that my ego wanted to push right on through like it was the end of the month when I worked as a Tax Accountant Maniac, but my heart and body whispered for me to stop. I listened. I sincerely wish for lives where we can all listen to the soft whispers that never have to become screams in order to get our attention. One loveliness xx

[keshimasu]

He must be even with Tsukauchi now. Shouta had called in his favor before he'd reported the incident-only after running from the scene like a greenhorn forgetting all protocol in the heat of the moment. A rookie mistake he can be grilled over later. Four in the morning is no time for an investigation but he'd still had to hold still as part of documentation. The blood on his hands. Ripped capture cloth. Red knife that he was forced to leave behind. His signature on paperwork promising to return to report for further questioning is shaky. Detective holds suspended hero license pending review but at least they aren't holding him in a cell for now. That could still change.

It's not even his first murder on record-humans are still so fragile despite development of quirks they died so easily even if he hadn't meant for it to happen (he did this time he did it had to be done.) Underground more often than not blurs the line of legality in the name of heroic justice, for the greater good. Some people are just too dangerous to remain on the street and clearly their justice system is flawed if such villains got let out on good behavior just to repeat offend. They might not have seen each other in over a decade but even if he hadn't recognized the face the quirk was unmistakable.

Logically, the wisest choice would be to bother emergency room for actual treatment but Shouta refuses to even consider spending hours there. His arms tingle at the very thought. Numbly, he knows that's a bad sign. Severe dehydration or electrolyte imbalance at best but without blood work he can only guess just what was drawn. Osmotic could have screwed up his homeostasis enough to mess with cardiac function-

Or the palpitations are from ongoing panic attack. He knows he's not thinking straight, can't even walk straight. Tsukauchi had offered to drive and he'd rejected on grounds of needing the walk. Head pounds and spins no matter how much fresh air he sucks in. It's probably nothing six bottles of gatorade and a freezing shower can't fix. Deal with body, mind then go to bed. Someone else could handle class if he didn't wake up in time. Given the way horizon lightens, when the hell did it start to get bright how long was he standing over a body, he likely won't. If he even does sleep. Doubtful.

Somehow, likely years of survival depending on not being noticed, Shouta is able to enter the dorm quietly. There are a few students who get up far too early that he could risk running into. Thankfully none of them are on his floor or the elevator. He spends far too long scrubbing hands until they're raw, grateful for the privacy of en suite bathroom that lets him pinken water with his own blood. Chest continues to constrict, cold pressure creeping up back of skull. Lightheadedness forces him to veer back to bedroom before he can properly soak head.

"Fuck." Mini fridge has jelly packs, milk, iced coffee, meal replacement shakes and meds but no sports drinks. Shouta slams the door shut and forcibly pushes off the appliance. His legs have joined rest of him in trembling dangerously. The corridor wall graciously supports near drunken level stagger back to first floor to a more stocked kitchen. He wrenches a banana open with his teeth, shoving half in his mouth while digging through cabinets. Salt water would do in a pinch as long as he could stomach it. Soft fruit feels impossible to swallow as if body has forgotten how. Shouta holds increasingly disgusting mash in his mouth to continue search. There. Lemon is far from his favorite flavor but it would be infinitely more palatable than chugging briny liquid.

The screw cap fights him. Floor blurs, drawing his attention to red flaking off boots he might have been tracking around the dorm. Sound to his left. A student because the only person who could've followed him home is dead. Without looking, though he carefully constructs normal glare under sweat and adrenaline, he thrusts bottle at them in a clear demand.

@deathonate ; plotted starter <3

[digitalgate02]

One thing i’ve been discussing after i had a friend watching 02TB in my country was that the movie does not feel afraid to show the imperfections of every character and how they being like that is what makes them and their relationship with their digimon stronger.

02TB is about communication, but also about imperfection. Rui had a bad life before Ukkomon stepped in, and then Rui’s life changed for the better, except it was not perfect at all. Rui claims his relationship with Ukkomon was perfect, but then later the group points out it wasn’t. Because neither Rui or Ukkomon knew each other like they believed they did.

But the whole discussion was that this friend who watched the movie criticized Hikari standing on Ukkomon’s side, making her get this heavy criticism from a few Japanese fans (yes, said friend speak Japanese and also showed me the tweets too), about how Hikari was invalidating how Rui felt and such.

My other friend, who had watched the movie before me and during her trip in Japan (who also speak Japanese), had a different view of that scene – That Hikari was actually calling Ukkomon pathetic for all those things he was trying to do, not pitying him as some sort of “victim”. And this is where we started discussing the movie’s themes.

If you know Yagami Hikari and her popularity status, you will notice people would rather pin her as “Waifu” or “perfect girl” (even in-universe, I suppose) – And not many people tend to know her real bad side or her inner problems (which you can read Shiha’s overview of the character in her meta blog), and no, it’s not the “brocon” thing (this never was part of Hikari’s entire character, it was only brought by two guests in Adv’99 and 02 respectively, NOT by the entire staff) – it’s the part of Hikari being manipulative, sly and even troll-ish kind of girl.

But in this movie we see she can also be insensitive sometimes, just like her brother is (look, i love Taichi, but let’s be real: most of his issues with Sora in Adv’99/OWG were because he was way more tactless than being Sora being too sensitive) – and i think it adds a new layer to the character, breaking the idea she’s “perfect”.

And according to the friend who i was talking with, Hikari’s line is what leads Daisuke to reverse Rui’s words and questions into making the new and mysterious boy realize his life and relationship with Ukkomon were not perfect as he imagined it were. 

Speaking of Ukkomon, he’s also the embodiment of this theme: When Rui tells the group that Ukkomon can realize wishes, the flashbacks puts into question another view: If Ukkomon is that powerful, then why would he have to use his tentacles to control the corpses of Rui’s parents? Why didn’t he just cure Rui’s dad instead? And so do other things Rui claimed and were debunked by the flashbacks.

Ukkomon might be related to something bigger, yes, that i have no doubt of it (considering that him getting defeated resulted in the digivices not being needed anymore!) but i don’t think he’s some sort of god-tier digimon. He might be related to the same entity (entities?) connected to Homeostasis (which is not the Digital World's god, it’s more likely a “Security system”) and the Holy Beasts, who were the ones we know to have been selecting children in both Adv’99 and 02.

I loved this movie for showing that it’s okay to be imperfect and that communication is essential in our lives. So this is why it ends with Rui and Ukkomon finally having a talk and discovering more about themselves, about things Rui likes and dislikes. And this is also why Rui gets the egg back and in the post-credits the egg shakes as if it was about to hatch: They were already to start from zero, again.

So, are Hikari's and everyone else’s portrayals supposed to be PERFECT in this movie? Nope, that’s the thing. The movie is, I repeat, about communication and imperfection.

Thanks for coming to my Digi-Talk ✌

[koushirouizumi]

Digimon Adventure 02 ~ A.M.V. {Anime Music Video} Title: “Kocchi wo Muite” {“Look This Way”} Sung by: Yukana Nogami Music © CLAMP / Kodansha (Originally from: Cardcaptor Sakura) Featuring Duo/Ship/O.T.P: + {Daikari} / {DaiHika} (with equal Hikari<->Daisuke P.O.V's, though leaning a bit more in Hikari->Daisuke focus) [+Bonus Ken, 02 Chosen as Support; Taichi & Hikari as Platonic/Familial/Supporting each Other]; {KenDai(+Miya)Hika can be read in; However, the main focus of this one is Daikari specifically, with KenDaiHika as side Poly!}

Summary:

“Although you show COURAGE, YOU’VE{?} got it Backwards A {maiden}[?]’s Heart is {fragile} and Trying…”

“Throughout all of the {xxxx} WE’RE Invincible”–

Digimon Adventure 02 © Toei Animation A.M.V. by Me No $$$ is being made off this Fanwork

Notes: - The 1st minute took about 45 min; 2nd part made took about just over 2hr’s; The 3rd+4th parts from interlude on took 35~ min each, Altogether, it's already taken 3~4+ hr's. - This is my 08/02 Focus work, for August 2nd anniversary of Adventures timeline! (by August 2nd, Vamdemon's invasion of Odaiba had Begun) Daisuke, who was initially captured inside the same center as Odaiba convention center Vamdemon kept Tailmon trapped in; just might have come across a Certain Person (or two) Near this and the following exact Day{s}... (Alluding to Daisuke's official Drama CD audio Track from "Digimon Adventure 02: Spring 2003"!) - This A.M.V. is overall a Standalone work. (It is not directly involved with my other work); However, it can be considered a work For the storyline that’s a precursor to Repeat-verse, which came before that story was conceived!) Therefore, it can be watched as a Standalone! - I reused a part of an older edit for the earliest Tri P.V.; (for timing placements) it had an old subtitle on, but I’ll remove that for the finished version! - (There is a moment of Hurricane Touchdown!Taichi for Timing) {As it works for my fan-‘verse, I left it in, with a bonus by end!} However, the work is overall/near-wholly 02-focused (so far)! - There is a small amount of out-of-context scenes, However, they’re meant to overall parallel the lyric{s} on-screen. - There is a single Tri spoiler from Kyousei; involving the character of "Homeostasis", that (mind)-possesses Hikari briefly in Adventure Ep. 45 previously. {"Gennai" [Tri] can also be seen for some short seconds} - Major handful of "The Beginning" sequel spoilers by ending; However, it's all actually immediately Pre-Final battle. (The Digimon in final battle can be seen Clearly, +Rui)

{I have not yet re-written the Daikari storyline involved with the past ficverse of mine in full; So please take this work as a sort of preview to it!} The ending lines and following sequences especially hint/allude a little more to my ficverse's potential turnouts; but it can be viewed/read as semi or even fully canon compliant too!

(Further lyric{s} under ‘read more’!)

“Turn this way, don't look anywhere else, darling It'd be bad if you weren't completely by MY side… Although you show courage, you've got it backwards A maiden's heart is fragile and trying—”

If we get separated by any distance I’ll come after you

(J.P.N): {Verse #1} Kocchi wo muite yo So mi shinaide Daarin Chanto watashi no soba ni inakucha dame da yo Tsuyogari datte uragaeshi Otome-gokoro kyun to setsunai…

Donna ni tookute hanarete 'te mo  Oikakete 'ku wa— I'm like a jasmine flower, right? You want to turn towards my strong fragrance I love you more than anyone So look at only me, okay?

{Verse #2} If it’s for "love", you’ll get stronger, darling So it’s true, I’ll "always" be your ""cute kid""-- Although there are some bad feelings in life No one will ever give up on a m a i d e n’s heart--(?)

Throughout all of the pain We’re invincible

I’m clumsy around you Protect only ME A magical love ONLY for US We should KEEP THAT our S E {C R E T}— Jasumin no hana no you ni ne Tsuyoku kaotte furimukasetai Dare yori mo anata ga suki Watashi dake mitsumete ite ne?

Koi no tame nara tsuyoku nareru no Daarin Honto wa zutto kawaii ko de itai kedo Yakimochi datte maji da kara Otome-gokoro dare ni mo makenai

Donna ni tsurai koto ga atte mo Futari wa muteki--

Bukiyou na anata no koto Mamoreru no wa watashi dake da yo Koi no mahou futari ni dake Wakariaeru HI{MITSU na n’ da yo}–

I'm like a "jasmine flower", right? You want to turn towards my strong fragrance I love you more than anyone So look at only me, okay?

Jasumin no hana no you ni ne Tsuyoku kaotte furimukasetai Dare yori mo anata ga suki Watashi dake mitsumete ite ne?

NOTE: The speaker may be speaking as if theyre NOT BEING CONSISTENT with their {FEELINGs}.

(Implied/Spoken): {My fic-verse Only}

"...I'm sorry." {"For before"}

"{None of it was} 'Your fault'." -Hikari to Daisuke

{"...It wasn't 'YOURS', EITHER--"}

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