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kwanisms · 4 months ago

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Unbearable — s.changbin

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➮ werebear!Changbin × f!Reader wc: 8.9k summary: Changbin is a very reserved person. He tries to live a solitary and quiet life but after moving into a small studio apartment in what he thought was a quiet block of the city, his neighbor soon puts him to the test when she is extremely welcoming and outgoing. genres/themes/au: angst (heavy on this), fluff (again u gotta squint), smut; supernatural and lycanthropic themes, s2l, n2l; non idol au, supernatural au, werebear au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, alcohol consumption, thoughts of self doubt and self loathing, self isolation as a coping technique, mention of death, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglist! kinktober 2024 taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to get done and posted! i just lost steam for writing a lot of longer oneshots but thankfully, i got that steam back and now Kinktober 2023 can finally come to a close! Thank you so much for those of you that have been patiently waiting for this and you will be getting a sequel to this part very very soon! Thank you so much for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), protected sex (it’s rushed and spur of the moment but at least Changbin uses his goddamn brain lmao), oral (both receiving), fingering (f receiving), strength kink, choking, body worship, facesitting (m receiving), use of pet names (baby, bunny, etc), power bottom!Changbin, sub!Reader, Binnie is a strong boy and Y/N really appreciates it and they are both kind of drunk off each other's presences. If I missed anything let me know! dialogue prompt: ❛ Don’t cover your mouth, I want everyone to know how good I make you feel. ❜

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The thing Changbin hated the most about his… condition, was having to move whenever things got complicated. His intense dislike of moving started as a child, moving from place to place because of his father’s work. He was in his final year of high school on a camping trip with some friends when the unthinkable happened.

Changbin wanted to try something new. He’d been camping in almost all the parks in Korea and wanted to go somewhere different. They decided to try Jirisan National Park. Most campers avoided the area due to the black pear population but Changbin’s friends were confident in their preparations.

They agreed to spend a week in the park; fishing, camping, hiking, and seeing the sights.

Most of the wildlife they encountered were small critters like squirrels and chipmunks and the occasional deer. Until their last night in the park.

Changbin had gotten up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and while doing his business, was attacked by a bear. It bit him, teeth tearing into the flesh of his arm. His scream alerted his friends who came to his rescue, scaring the creature off with mace.

Changbin was in and out of it from the shock and loss of blood but his friends later relayed to him that they called the ranger station on their radio and a helicopter was sent to airlift him to the nearest hospital. He was rushed into surgery and thankfully his arm was salvageable.

Changbin was lucky to be alive and he knew it.

It was a month later when he realized things had changed forever.

The bear that had attacked him was no ordinary bear but was a werebear and Changbin had been cursed. He had been living with that curse for the last several years.

For the most part, he was able to keep to himself and keep his condition under wraps but occasionally, he slipped up and had to move which was the case yet again. He’d changed in view of one of his neighbors and had to make plans upon learning his secret had been discovered.

He found a new place, a small studio apartment on the outskirts of the city. Changbin’s goal was to find a place in the country but land was expensive.

He’d moved into the apartment, keeping to himself as he moved his things in. The apartment had come empty so he had to buy furniture to fill it and had spent an entire day building his own furniture alone. It wasn’t much but it was his and he’d have to make it home.

He had hoped to get through his two year lease without incident and left alone but his hopes were dashed when he ran into his neighbor who lived across the hall, Y/N. You were the opposite of him. Where Changbin was quiet, shy, and reserved you were bubbly and outgoing.

You had come back from running errands when you ran into him at the mailbox and immediately introduced yourself. Changbin was sure he had come off as very rude in this interaction but you didn’t seem to take it to heart, greeting him each time you saw him with a big smile.

You had told him that if he needed anything to not hesitate to ask and that you were happy to help.

You often brought him food, making too much for one person to eat and often gave him some of your leftovers. Changbin felt rude if he didn’t accept it and he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. The food was good, he wasn’t going to lie and say it sucked. He just wanted to be left alone.

You were far too friendly and more generous than he was used to or felt he deserved.

He was working from home one afternoon, close to his heat, when he heard a knock on his door and got up from his desk to answer it. Peering through the peephole, he saw you standing on the other side of the door and sighed softly. He unlocked the door, removing the chain and pulled the door open just enough to peek out.

“Hey,” you said softly. Changbin could hear music coming from one of the apartments upstairs. “Hey,” he replied softly. In your hands, you held another tupperware container. “I made some stew,” you started, glancing down at the container. “And I made too much,” you continued. “Again.”

“I uh… I thought you might like some,” you said with an uncertain smile.

Changbin forced a smile and pulled the door open some more. “That’s very kind of you,” he said softly as you handed the container over. “I keep finding recipes for families,” you added. “Too many servings for one person.” Changbin nodded as you spoke.

“I’m sure you’re busy,” you noted and smiled at him. “I’ll leave you alone.” Changbin hesitated, wanting to say thank you but you turned and crossed the hall back to your door, entering your apartment and shutting the door.

He looked down at the stew and sighed again.

The last time you had come over to bring him food, he’d just come out of a transformation and had snapped at you. He’d been irritable, unwell, and frustrated with his situation and when you offered him some of your extra chicken, he snapped at you, slamming the door in your face.

Despite that, you were still bringing him food and being nice to him. He felt awful as he closed his door. Even after being so rude and mean, going as far to slam the door in your face, you still thought of him and brought him extra food.

He set the container on his counter and stared at it for a few moments before sitting back down at his computer and opening a new tab on his browser. He’d decided to make it up to you. He typed away, looking up gifts to give neighbors.

He managed to find a few good articles before he got up, grabbing his apartment keys and pulling on his jacket. He headed over to the town center, finding a garden center. From the various interactions he’d had with you in the past, you always mentioned your love for plants.

Your apartment was apparently decorated with them.

Changbin didn’t know much about plants but nonetheless, he returned home with a small potted plant. A little light green succulent. He hoped you’d like it.

The next day, he had to go into work so he wasn’t able to give you your gift and by the time he arrived home and knocked on your door, either you were asleep or out as it was a Friday night.

That night, he heard you come home and upon peering out of the peephole saw that you weren’t alone. You had a friend with you and Changbin knew he couldn’t apologize just yet. Maybe in the morning but the next morning you didn’t answer your door.

For a whole week, you didn’t answer any of his knocks nor did he see you.

Finally, when he was getting his mail from the mailbox downstairs, you returned. Changbin felt relieved as you entered the building. He was starting to get worried. You didn’t greet him with a usual smile when you saw him. Instead you quietly got your mail, a week's worth of it, and headed up the stairs without even looking at him.

Changbin followed from a distance, glancing over as you unlocked your door and let yourself into your apartment, not even sparing him a first or second glance as the door shut softly. It made his heart ache that he’d clearly scared you off enough to limit your contact with him.

More determined than ever, Changbin returned to his apartment and grabbed the plant with the envelope that contained a handwritten apology addressed to you where he apologized profusely for the way he acted and that while it was no excuse, he’d just gotten over a bad bout of the flu and wasn’t feeling well when he snapped at you. It wasn’t as much as you deserved but Changbin had never been very good with confrontation.

He set the plant on your welcome mat with the envelope front and center with the word ‘sorry’ written across the front of it. He stood back up and knocked three times loudly before retreating to his apartment and shutting the door.

He peered through the peephole, hoping to see you appear. Luck was on his side as your door opened slowly, your head appearing and looking around before your head turned down, noticing the plant. You opened the door fully, leaning out to look down the hall. As you knelt down to look at the plant, Changbin watched as you lifted the letter and looked at it.

He saw your gaze briefly look up at his door and though he knew you couldn’t possibly see him watching you, it made him nervous anyway. He watched as you grabbed the potted plant and stood up straight, plant in one hand, his letter in the other. You retreated to your apartment, shutting the door and Changbin sighed a breath of relief.

He decided to go back to his work, hoping he might hear from you later.

Around dinner time, Changbin’s stomach growled and he got up from his desk, hanging his headphones around his neck as he walked down the hall from his studio to the kitchen to open the fridge. He cursed softly as he saw he didn’t really have much in the way of a meal in his fridge. Another forgotten grocery trip meant ramen again.

He shut the fridge and opened a cabinet, grabbing a pot to make his ramen in and as he moved to the sink to fill it with water, there were three loud knocks at his door. He dropped the pan in the sink with a metallic clang and hurried over to the door, hoping he might see your face when he looked through the peephole but he was met with an empty hallway.

His heart sank and he stepped back, unlocking the door and opening it slightly. His eyes immediately fell to a pot with a lid sitting on his mat with a small card. He opened the door and bent down to pick up the card to read it.

‘Apology accepted but only if you eat all of this! ~ Y/N’

He looked down at the pot and carefully picked it up by the handles. It was hot. He looked up at your door before retreating into his apartment, shutting the door with his foot. He carried the pot over to the kitchen island and set it down. He read the card once more, turning it over to find a small smiley face.

He smiled to himself, setting the card down and lifted the lid to find what he could only assume was budae jjigae. There were slices of spam, sausages cut into small pieces, ramen noodles, mushrooms, fish cake, and rice cake in a spicy broth topped with cheese and chopped green onions. It smelled amazing and Changbin couldn’t help but feel a small sense of guilt at how he’d previously treated you.

He glanced at the card once more before he moved to grab a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. You had offered to accept his apology but only if he ate everything and he wasn’t about to let this meal you’d made specifically for him go to waste.

A week had passed by and while Changbin hadn’t seen or spoken to you face to face, he could feel that whatever tension there was between you had dissipated. You had accepted his gift and he, yours. Things were almost back to normal.

His heat loomed a couple days away when he went to the gym to burn off some steam. It was never enough to fully satiate his needs but it was the best he could do since he wasn’t seeing anyone, nor was he about to go looking.

As he was working on his usual set, he heard the door open and a familiar scent hit his nose, making his heart rate increase more than the current workout. He turned his head and saw you walk over towards the elliptical. He turned his head back, internally panicking. He could tell by your scent that you were close to ovulating and it was sending him into overstimulation.

He didn’t want to end his workout early, but he knew if he kept going, he was going to do something he would regret and could possibly get him and you arrested. He finished his set quickly and got up, moving to grab the spray bottle and a few paper towels to wipe down the machine.

He returned the bottle to its stand, tossing the used paper towels away and grabbed his things, heading for the door. He glanced over at you which proved to be a terrible mistake. You were stretching before getting on the elliptical which was a good practice Changbin noted but you were bent over, ass on full display in your leggings.

Changbin was no stranger to your figure. He was used to seeing you in dresses, skirts, or sometimes an oversize sweater and leggings but seeing you in form fitting athletic gear was something he was not used to. He wasn’t used to how it hugged your curves, outlining everything about your body he found insanely attractive.

He was so busy staring at your ass that he ran right into the trash bin beside the door with a loud bang that echoed in the otherwise small gym. You stood up and turned to look at him, an expression of confusion and concern on your face as he put the trash bin back, cheeks burning as he glanced back at you, giving you a nod before he quickly exited the gym, heading for the stairs.

He was glad there was no one else in the room and that no one had actually seen him run into the trash can. How embarrassing would that have been?

Changbin made it to his floor and entered his apartment. He showered and changed into clean clothes before heading to the kitchen. He’d actually gone grocery shopping this time and as he was browsing his fridge, he heard his phone ding from the kitchen island. Closing the fridge, he walked over to pick up the device, unlocking it and checking his messages.

It was a text from you and it sent his heart into a frenzy before remembering you had exchanged numbers shortly after he moved in because your packages kept getting delivered to his box instead of yours. It had been a while since then and your mail had gotten sorted out but he genuinely forgot he even had your number as he read the text.

Y/N Neighbor: hey, is everything alright? That sounded painful ):

Changbin grimaced. ‘Sounded?’ he wondered. ‘That means she didn’t see it. Good.’ He quickly typed a response.

Changbin: yeah! I wasn’t watching where I was going. Too busy looking at my phone 😅i’m ok tho 🙂

Your response was swift.

Y/N Neighbor: okay good. I was worried. Y/N Neighbor: hey, while I have your attention. Do you have plans for dinner?

Changbin chuckled, typing his response.

Changbin: why? you gonna leave another pot of stew on my door mat? Y/N Neighbor: no 😭i was actually wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner Y/N Neighbor: I got some really nice beef short ribs from the butcher and was planning to make some tteokgalbi. I found a recipe and wanted to give it a shot

A grin spread across Changbin’s face as he read your text.

Y/N Neighbor: and who better to ask than my only Korean neighbor? Y/N Neighbor: So how about it? Y/N Neighbor: Do you want to come over for dinner?

Changbin hesitated answering as he stared at his phone. On one hand, he would love nothing more than to come over and help teach you how to make one of his favorite dishes, eat together, and enjoy your company but on the other hand, he knew that he was tempting fate, being alone with you so close to his heat. He weighed the pros and cons but very quickly, his logic was beat out by the promise of beef short ribs.

Changbin: sure. I’d love to. What time?

He sent the message and waited for your response. It took a couple moments but he saw the read receipt appear and soon you were typing your response.

Y/N Neighbor: I’m almost finished in the gym and I’ll have to shower. So let’s say… 7PM?

He smiled before typing back, thumbs tapping against the screen of his phone.

Changbin: perfect. See you at 7 (:

Changbin stressed over what to wear as this wasn’t exactly a formal setting like a date but you had still invited him to dinner at your place and you were going to be making food but he would be helping so he opted for something comfortable. Black pants, a white tee, and a gray sweatshirt. He scoured his fridge and pantry for something to bring with and settled on an unopened bottle of wine in his fridge that he received as a parting gift when he left Korea.

With the bottle of wine in hand, he headed across the hall. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, resisting the urge to run and hide. He heard footsteps approach the door and after unlocking, the door opened to reveal your smile. “Hi,” you said breathlessly. Changbin returned the greeting and you opened the door wider to let him in.

He stepped over the threshold awkwardly, holding the bottle of wine tightly as he entered your apartment. It was smaller than his but you had a studio while he had a two bedroom. In the entryway you had tile flooring much like his and a shoe rack stood against the wall with various pairs of shoes from running shoes to much dressier shoes like pumps. There were even a couple pairs of boots.

Hanging over the shoe rack was a shelf that went from one wall to the other in the small entryway. On top of the shelf were various storage items inside pleasant looking boxes with drawers and small printed labels on the front detailing what was inside. On the underside of the shelf was a bar where you jackets hung including one heavy winter coat and various scarves for different temperatures.

Beside the shoe rack was a small bench with a cream and brown striped cushion where you no doubt sat and put on your shoes before leaving the apartment. You had already put on a pair of house slippers and to his surprise, a new pair of house slippers were sitting on standby for him. He quickly removed his shoes, a pair of crocs, and slid on the slippers as he followed you from the entry.

The rest of your apartment was just as small. There was a large flatscreen on the wall that separated the living area from the entryway. Under it stood a brown media center with a gaming console and inside the glass doors was a wide array of video games and DVDs.

Your couch, a sectional, took up the back wall, squeezing into the corner and ending before the door to your balcony and was littered with pillows with a plush cream colored blanket, folded in half and draped over the arm.

In front of the couch between it and the media console, was a coffee table with a few plants. Behind the couch was a window with a wide window sill which was full of potted house plants of different varieties and colors. The more he looked around, the more plants he saw. He was glad he had gotten it right and gifted you a plant.

Next to the living area was a small dining area with a four person bistro table pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the door to the balcony. Three of the four chairs were placed around the table and on top was a vase with a few flowers in it. Behind the table, another window with deep set sills littered with more plants. Next to the dining area was your bedroom area. It was separated by a curtain, hung from a track on the ceiling. The curtain was a sheer white one, allowing Changbin a glimpse past it to your bed. It was a queen size with a black fluffy comforter and matching black decorative pillows. The sheets were hidden but the pillows behind the throw ones were a cream color with a light floral pattern.

On one side of your bed was a nightstand with a lamp and alarm clock while on the opposite side was a tall chest of drawers, atop where a few makeup items and perfume bottles stood. He turned away before he could get a good look at it all and faced you. “Oh, is that for tonight?” you asked, nodding towards the bottle in his hands. He nodded, crossing the short distance.

“Yeah, I uh… wasn’t sure what to bring,” he admitted, holding the bottle out for you to take. You smiled, taking the bottle and moved behind the kitchen island, opening the fridge and setting the bottle inside on the door. Changbin looked around once more as you shut the fridge and turned to face him.

“So, shall we get started?” you asked. Changbin walked over to the island, looking at the items on the counter. You had the beef ribs sitting on a plate. Everything else had been measured out and was ready to go. He could see you also had soybean sprouts, spinach, zucchini, daikon, and tofu. “What is all of this for?” he asked, nodding at the other items.

“I thought we could also make some of the side dishes?” you asked, looking up at him. Changbin smiled, pushing the cuffs of his sleeves up as he moved around to join you at the sink and wash his hands. “So I’m guessing you have the stuff for seasoned soybeans, seasoned spinach, hobak bokkeum, daikon radish salad, and pan fried tofu?” he asked as you dried your hands.

You nodded before handing him the towel. “I’ve made them before, so I could prepare those while you prepare the ribs?” you offered. Changbin smiled, shaking his head. “We can make them together while the meat cooks,” he explained. “How about you cut the garlic and onions and make the marinade?” he asked. “That way you can watch how to prepare the meat.” You nodded with a smile.

“Sounds good to me.”

You quickly cut the garlic and onions, adding them to a bowl while Changbin prepared the ribs. You continued making the sauce while he explained how to mince the meat and showed you. “And you leave it on the bone?” you asked. He nodded as he set one rib aside and worked on another one. You added the rest of the ingredients to the bowl and stirred it, mixing it well.

“How’s this?” you asked, showing Changbin the sauce. He peered into the bowl. “How does it taste?” he asked. You looked up at him and back down. “You can dip your finger in here,” he said with a chuckle. You did as he said and tasted the sauce. “It’s really good,” you answered, moving to rinse your hand again. Changbin finished the second rib and moved onto the last one, slicing the meat down to the bone. “If you want to start putting the sauce on the ribs,” he said as he continued cutting.

“Make sure to get it down into the meat,” he added as you moved to his other side and started scooping out the marinade, placing generous amounts onto the ribs while he finished cutting the last one. He rinsed the knife and your cutting board before washing his hands and drying them.

He leaned over, inspecting your work. “Don’t use all of it,” he said as you focused on the last one. You looked up at him inquisitively as he took the bowl from you with a laugh. “You have to save some for later.” You nodded and moved to wash your hands while he set the remainder of the sauce aside. “Is the oven preheated?” he asked.

You glanced behind you and noticed the little light, communicating this to him. “Perfect,” he said, picking up the cast iron pan. You hurried to open the oven for him and he set the pan in the middle of the rack and stood up, shutting the door and turning to you. “Now we can work on those side dishes,” he said with a smile.

You focused on the cooking while Changbin did all the cutting and seasoning. Your rice cooker had finished when you plated the pan fried tofu. “Do you want something to drink?” you asked Changbin. He looked up from the spinach dish. “Uh, sure,” he said as he mixed the spinach with sesame oil and garlic.

You turned to open the fridge, eyes falling on the bottle of wine. “Want to open this wine?” you asked, turning back to look at him. He looked up from the dish, eyes wide. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he answered, returning his focus to the spinach.

He felt his heart rate speed up. He was already tempting fate by being alone with you like this but adding alcohol to the mix? That could only end in disaster. He knew from experience that mixing alcohol with his heat and someone as pretty as you were? It was surely to end only one way but he was determined to not let it go that way.

You opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses, putting the bottle back and gently pushing one of the glasses towards Changbin who thanked you and lifted the glass to his face, sniffing the liquid as you took a sip. Changbin followed, taking a sip before he immediately spit it back into the glass, as did you, exclaiming with disgust. You met his gaze and the two of you burst into laughter.

You retrieved the bottle from the fridge to inspect it while Changbin walked over to grab your glass, dumping both into the sink. “God, that’s awful,” you gagged. Changbin rinsed out the wine glasses, setting them aside. “Do you have anything else?” he asked.

You looked up from the bottle, setting it aside. “I might have some soju,” you said softly, turning to the fridge and opening it while Changbin watched, eyes roaming over your body and taking in your outfit. It was a simple cream dress with a pleated skirt that fell to the middle of your thighs. Over it, you wore an off the shoulder light pink sweater, showing the thick straps of the dress. He saw the white thigh high stockings you work and it took everything in him to not jump you right there.

“I do have soju,” you announced. “Soju sounds nice,” Changbin answered, drawing his eyes away from your backside. “Could you grab a couple shot glasses from the cabinet?” you asked, gesturing to the correct door as you grabbed an unopened bottle of Soju from the fridge. Changbin set the glasses down and grabbed the bottle from you.

“Want to see a neat trick?” he asked. You nodded, leaning against the counter and watching him attentively as he grasped the bottle firmly. “This is just something we do in Korea,” he said. “It doesn’t really serve a purpose other than to look cool.” You nodded and watched as he quickly turned the bottle so the cap was pointed to the 4 o’clock position before flicking it back upright quickly.

Inside the bottle, the liquid swirled around, creating a small cyclone. Your smile widened and you shifted on your toes. “Can I try?” you asked excitedly. Changbin handed the bottle over, showing you how to hold it before letting you attempt. The first try did nothing except make some bubbles.

“Here,” he said, moving to stand behind you, reaching around to place his hand over yours. “Like this,” he said softly, guiding your hand to the correct positions slowly. “Just like that, only faster. Try it.” You followed his instructions and managed to make a weak tornado appear in the bottle.

“I did it!” you said excitedly as he chuckled, taking the bottle from you. He twisted the cap off, leaving the small strip of metal attached. He poured your shot first before pouring one for himself. “The first one, we always cheer,” he explained as you both picked up your glasses. “How do you say cheers in Korean?” you asked. “Gonbae,” he replied, holding his shot glass up slightly.

You raised yours to meet his, giving it a small tap, the clinking of glass soft. “Gonbae,” you repeated before raising the liquor to your lips and tipping your head back, pouring the entire shot into your mouth and swallowing as Changbin mirrored your movements.

It was slightly sweet, very crisp, and clean as it went down smoothly. You set the shot glass down as Changbin finished his shot a step behind you, setting his glass down as well. You looked up to meet his gaze but before you could say anything, a timer went off, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“The short ribs!” you exclaimed, grabbing a pair of potholders while Changbin moved to take over the frying of the zucchini. You pulled the pan out and set it down. “Let’s transfer them over to this,” Changbin said, grabbing the cast iron sizzler pan, turning on the burner next to the other skillet. It heated up quickly and you helped Changbin move the ribs over to the sizzling pan, placing them face down on the iron and spooning the rest of the sauce over them.

“We’ll let those cook for a bit and then turn them over and let them finish cooking,” he said as he set the spoon aside. “This is done, by the way,” he said, moving the zucchini off the burner and turning it off. “Now, we just wait on the galbi,” he added.

You poured another shot for him before pouring one for yourself and quickly downed it. His close proximity earlier had made goosebumps rise on your arms and thighs and there was now a burning ache in your skin where he’d touched you as we all other places he had not touched.

The meat was done after a few more minutes and Changbin insisted you set the coffee table, opting to eat in the living room instead of the dining table as it was a much less formal setting. You moved the side dishes and bottle of soju over to the coffee table, also getting two bottles of water from the fridge as Changbin placed the sizzler pan on the wooden block that came with it.

Once you’d set the table, he walked over, setting the galbi in the middle while you moved a cushion to the floor for him to sit on. You admired your handiwork, looking at all the side dishes and the main dish. You had scooped two bowls of rice from your rice cooker and also heated up some leftover beef broth and added green onions for garnish.

You sat down, Changbin across from you. “We make a pretty good team, don’t we?” you asked, looking up to meet his gaze. “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “We really do.”

You made space for Changbin to sit next to you, opting to put on a movie while you ate, drank, and chatted. He showed you how to make ssambap, adding the meat, rice, and sauce to a lettuce leaf and eating the entire thing. It was all so delicious and you mentioned in passing that you should have him over more.

One bottle of soju dwindled and you grabbed a second which also slowly emptied as you ate your fill of the food. Most of the plates were empty when you poured another shot for Changbin before pouring one for yourself. You raised your glasses and downed the shots quickly.

“So,” you said as you set your glass down and looked up at Changbin. “Can I ask you something?” you asked, scooting a little closer to him, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body. He nodded, resting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm as he looked at you with sparkling eyes.

“Why are you single?”

The question took him by surprise. He hadn’t expected you to ask that, let alone ask it so boldly. You had an innocent look on your face as you looked at him, expecting an answer. He mulled over his thoughts before choosing his words, carefully.

“I have a… complicated life,” he started. “There are things I have to… hide from people. Not because I’m afraid of how they’ll see me but because I’m afraid of scaring them off.” Your smile fell and you leaned closer, placing a hand on his forearm. “You’re a good person, Changbin,” you said softly in a reassuring tone. “There’s someone out there for you.”

He smiled at you, a small but genuine smile. “What about you?” he asked softly, looking at your hand on his arm, his heart rate speeding up as he looked up, meeting your gaze. “Me?” you asked. “I guess I haven’t found the right person. I’ve been burned too many times.”

Changbin felt his heart sink. The thought of you getting your heart broken made him both sad and angry.

He didn’t know you that well but from what he’d experienced since moving in, he couldn’t imagine anyone purposely hurting you.

Changbin scooted closer, placing a hand over yours. The moment his skin touched yours it was like you’d been hit with an electric shock. You looked up to meet his eyes. There was a moment of unspoken tension between you as you stared at one another before something happened.

You weren’t sure who moved first but all you knew was that one minute you were sitting on the floor, using your coffee table as a table to eat at, the next you were straddling him, your lips on his and hands tangled in his hair as his hands slid up your back.

You moaned into his mouth, hands tugging at his hair as he grabbed your waist. “Wait,” he said breathlessly, pulling away to look up at you, his lips shining with your spit. “Maybe we shouldn’t. We’ve both been drinking. Maybe we should — mmpf!”

You cut him off, taking his lips in another searing kiss, your lips parting his and your tongue sliding against his. His fingers dug into your hips, squeezing the plush flesh there as your lips started to plant wet kisses down the side of his neck over his pulse point. He let out a soft groan, letting his head fall back against the couch cushions as you kissed down to the junction where his neck and shoulder met.

You pulled the fabric aside, nipping and sucking on the skin as his hands guided your hips over his growing erection. “Fuck,” he gasped as you grinded against him. “Keep doing that, baby.” Your fingers inched up the back of his neck, curling into his hair before tugging his head to the side, trailing kisses and your tongue up the side of his neck.

“Is it bad that I kinda wanna sit on your face?” you whispered in his ear, making him groan. “God, please,” he groaned. “I’ll lay down right here if you’ll sit on my face,” he promised. You giggled as he pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled back, gently wiping his bottom lip with your thumb. “I’m serious,” he murmured against your skin.

“Take your panties off and sit on my face.”

You shook your head. “You take my panties off and then I’ll think about sitting on your face.”

Changbin growled, pushing your coffee table back with his foot, wrapping his arms around your body as he got to his feet in an impressive display of strength, before carrying you over to the bed and dumping you unceremoniously on the bed. He climbed on after you, crawling over you.

“Before we go any further,” he said softly. “Are you sure about this?” You nodded quickly. “Yes,” you said, grabbing one of his hands and guiding it under your skirt to press his fingers against your soaked panties. “I want this, Changbin. I want you.”

He groaned, pressing his fingers harder against you as he captured your lips in another heated kiss, tongue hastily entering your mouth as his hand slipped under your panties, finding your soaked center quickly and dragging his finger against your clit. “Ch-Changbin!” you gasped against his lips as his fingers sank into your heat, groaning as he started to move, curling and pumping in and out of your cunt.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be so tight around me,” he growled. Your thighs spread on instinct as he fucked your hole with his fingers quickly, attempting to coax an orgasm out of you. “B-Bin,” you whimpered, grabbing his wrist as he moved faster. Your hands trembled as you held onto him, eyes dipping down to watch as his forearm flexed.

Seeing his muscles flex with the simplest of motions made a fresh wave of arousal course through you, your walls clenching around his fingers. Changbin could tell you were close but he really wanted to take up your offer to sit on his face. Reluctantly, he pulled his fingers from your pussy, ignoring the whine of protests as he kissed the pout off your face.

“I told you I was serious,” he said as he grabbed your panties, pulling them off and discarding them.

“I want you to sit on my face,” he added as he laid back on the bed, taking your hands and guided you over him. “Bend over slightly,” he said, pushing to over as he guided your hips into place over his mouth. “You don’t have to do anything,” he added as he licked his lips.

“Just let me have a taste.

You were about to speak but your words were cut short by the gasp that ripped from your throat as his tongue made contact with your clit. Your hands landed on his stomach to steady yourself as he licked slowly and deliberately, flattening his tongue against your clit.

“Oh god,” you groaned, fingers grabbing the material of his sweater. Your eyes fluttered open as you glanced down at his crotch, noticing the outline of his hard cock. You got an idea as he continued to makeout with your pussy. You moved your hand down, sliding it over his cock, making him groan against you. His arms flexed against your thighs as he wrapped them tighter around, hands spreading your folds as he renewed his attention on your entrance, tongue swirling around it before dipping in.

You started to palm him through his pants, pressing your hand flat against him and massaging slowly. He was only semi-hard and as you continued to massage and stroke him over the material of his pants, he started to grow harder and harder under your touch.

You moaned as he latched onto your clit and sucked, making lewd wet slurping noises as he hungrily ate you out. It didn’t deter you from your goal as your fingers worked to undo the ties of his sweatpants. Once you’d gotten them loose, you slid your hand under the waistband, slipping your hand into his boxers and grabbing his hard cock.

He let out a strained noise, moaning against your cunt as your hand started to work his cock inside his pants. His one movement started to move faster as you stroked him, as if to match your movements. “Oh shit,” you gasped as he gently nipped at your clit, the graze of his teeth making your hips buck against his face. You needed to get him to the edge before you came.

You pushed his pants and underwear down, freeing his cock as he latched onto your clit again. His cock was thick, veins running up and down the shaft. The head was dark, a bead of precum already leaking from the slit at the top.

You wrapped your fingers around the base, ignoring the hiss and hot breath against your pussy as you started to slide your hand up and down, using your palm to spread some of the precum. It wasn’t enough and so you pulled back, spitting into your hand before resuming, your saliva creating a lubricant to move faster and faster.

Changbin let out another strained groan, head falling back against the bed as your hand continued to jerk his cock. Just as you thought you were gaining the upper hand, Changbin snapped out of it, pulling your pussy down onto his waiting mouth, tongue sliding over your clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. His focus made yours waver as your hand faltered, sliding to the base of his cock.

“O-oh, god,” you moaned, head falling onto his stomach as he continued to lick, suck, and nip at your clit. Your hips started to move of their own accord, grinding against him as you tried to resume stroking his cock. Lifting your head, you did the only thing you could think of and gave the tip of his cock, particularly the slit, a lick before taking the head into your mouth.

Changbin groaned against you, giving your hip a sharp smack and you cried out, his cock falling from your mouth. Your lapse allowed him to regain control, tonguing your hole until he gave one final suck on your clit and you finally came with a moan of his name.

As your thighs shook from the aftermath of your orgasm, he lapped at your pussy, drinking up every bit of your release before you started to shy away from the contact. He helped you off him, chuckling as you rolled onto your back. Changbin grabbed his pants and underwear, pulling them up as he wiped his face with his shirt.

“I should have made you face the other way,” he said as he helped you out of your top, tossing it aside and pressing a kiss to your collar. His lips trailed down to your breast, running his tongue over your nipple and gently blowing on the wet skin as he kneaded your other breast with his hand.

He sat up, moving to kneel between your thighs, his hands moving up your thighs to your waist, eyeing your wet pussy. “Now that I’ve had a taste,” he said softly. “I want more.” You giggled as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in short, quick kisses. “C’mere,” he murmured, cupping the back of your head as he parted your lips with his, allowing his tongue to slide into your mouth, the taste of your cum on his tongue.

“Changbin,” you sighed, head falling back against the pillows as he kissed down your exposed chest, stopping to tease your nipples with his tongue once more before he sat up, gaze meeting yours, a lazy smirk on his face as he took in your disheveled appearance. A surge of pride swelled in his chest at the sight of you, knowing he was the one responsible.

“Binnie,” you cooed, reaching out for him. He took your hand, bringing your palm to his face and kissing it. “What is it, bunny?” he asked softly, lacing his fingers with yours. Your heart skipped a beat at the intimate gesture, wondering if this meant more to him than you initially thought.

“Are you sure about this?” you asked as he pulled your skirt down past your knees, tossing it aside before pulling his sweatshirt over his head. “Yes,” he answered, discarding the top on the floor with the rest of your clothes. He leaned over pressing light kisses up your body, ghosting over your chest briefly before he met your lips. You giggled as his hands slid up your sides, tickling you.

“I’ve never been more sure than I am now,” he added, mumbling against your lips. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I’d like to admit,” he continued, hands pushing his waistband down with one hand. “Where did you say you keep the condoms?” he asked, pulling back to meet your gaze.

“Back of the top drawer,” you said, pointing at your bedside table. Changbin scrambled over to the side of the bed, pulling open the drawer and finding the box. He grabbed one, putting the corner of the packet between his teeth as he quickly stripped himself of his pants and underwear before joining you on the bed once more. He tore open the foil packet with his teeth, removed the condom, and rolled it down his length slowly, avoiding your gaze.

Finally he tossed the remnants of the condom wrapper aside, promising he would clean them up later as he shifted into place, grabbing you by the thighs and tugging you closer in one motion, demonstrating his strength. “I promised I’ll be gentle,” he said softly. “But if I start to get out of control, just tell me, alright?” he asked softly, stroking the skin of your thighs. You nodded, licking your lips.

“I will,” you said softly. “But I should tell you something,” you added, watching as he tilted his head curiously. “What’s that?” he asked. “I like it a little rough.” Changbin let out a groan, fingers digging into your thighs. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” he said, taking his cock in one hand, guiding the head to your slit. “Makes me want to ruin you.”

You let out a moan as you felt the head of his cock push into you, thighs instinctively squeezing his hips. “You’re tense,” he noted as he felt your walls grip him tightly. “Relax for me,” he added in a soothing tone. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” You took a couple deep breaths, forcing your body to relax, your grip on his cock lessening. “That’s it,” Changbin whispered. “Good girl.”

He pushed in further and it took all of your concentration to relax and not start tensing up again. “Fuck,” he groaned as he slid in without resistance. “Such a good little bunny,” he murmured. The pet name made you moan, clenching around him involuntarily. “Don’t do that,” he grunted, hips meeting the back of your thighs as he bottomed out. “I’m trying not to cum and if you keep doing that,” he said as your walls tightened around him again. “I won’t last.”

“S-sorry,” you stammered, waiting for your bodies to adjust to one another. Changbin let go of your thighs, instead, his hands moving to your hips. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly, admiring every inch of skin he could touch. “I could stay like this forever,” he added. “Spend all night fucking you.”

“You’re so fucking beautiful. All your curves, all of this,” he said, running his hands up to your chest, giving you a soft squeeze before moving back down to your hips. “I love every single bit of it.” Your cheeks burned. “Even if I’m not the —” his hand moved to your face, pressing a finger against your lips. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said. “Your body is beautiful. All of it. You are beautiful.”

You nodded, letting his words sink in.

He gave you a thrust, testing the waters and when you moaned instead of wincing, he set a steady pace, hands moving up to your waist as your own hands gripped the sheets. “Oh s-shit,” you gasped, pleasure building in the pit of your stomach, a heat settling in your belly as the pace slowly increased. Changbin slowed down, letting out a chuckle when you pouted.

“I told you,” he said softly. “I’m not trying to cum immediately.”

His pace continued at a slow pace but each thrust was hard and powerful, making you see stars. “Ch-Changbin,” you whined. “Yeah, baby?” he asked breathlessly as he continued, his hips not faltering once. “M-more,” you whimpered. “More? You want more?” he asked. “More of what? Gotta be specific, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks burned under his gaze as he waited for a response. “F-faster,” you finally managed to squeak out. Changbin chuckled but obliged, giving in to your request easily. The room filled with the sound of skin against skin but not loud enough to drown out your moans. As he reached a fast but comfortable pace, you let out a loud moan, shocking yourself. You quickly raised your hand to cover your mouth but Changbin grabbed your wrist, pinning your hand against the bed.

“Don’t cover your mouth,” he said, shaking his head as he leaned over you, pounding into you, the sound of the bed hitting the wall made your cheeks burn even more. “I want everyone to know how good I make you feel.”

You moaned loudly, unrestrained. “P-pin me down,” you said suddenly, making him hesitate for a moment before he grabbed your other wrist and pinned it down, continuing to fuck you into the sheets. “You’re so strong,” you moaned, thighs squeezing his sides. Changbin let out a groan, cock twitching inside you. He pulled out quickly, making you whine in protest but he was quick to switch places, guiding you to sit on top of him.

“Ride me,” he said. You nodded, aligning his tip with your hole and sinking down on him, letting out a moan as his cock filled your cunt. “Fuck, that’s it, baby. Go on,” he said as you steadied yourself, placing your hands on the bed and raising your hips. Changbin’s hands ghosted over your hips, guiding your movements until you had set a pace.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty on top of me like this,” he groaned, bucking his hips to match your movements. “I like this. Can focus on touching you,” he continued, moving his hands up to cup your chest, kneading your breasts. “You can’t pin me like this, though,” you whined, making him chuckle. “You like that?” he asked breathlessly. “Like it when I hold you down?” You nodded. “I do. Makes me feel so weak.”

Changbin let out a groan, his hands moving, taking your hands. “I could hold your wrists,” he offered. “Or if you’re good and keep riding me like this, I promise I’ll pin you down and fuck you rough, like you want. Just keep going,” he said, placing your hands on his chest. “Keep going.”

You rolled your hips, chasing your high as he nodded and encouraged you. “That’s it, bunny, cum for me and then I’ll pin you down and fuck you just how you want it.” Your eyes fluttered shut as your thighs started to shake. “I-I’m close!” you gasped. “It’s okay. Go ahead and let go, baby.” You let out a moan as your orgasm washed over you. You hadn’t even fully finished when Changbin had flipped you over, pinning your wrists above your head as he took over.

He fucked you through your high, chasing his own as he pounded into you. “Fuck,” he cursed. “So fucking good,” he continued. “Gonna cum again?” he asked, feeling your cunt convulsing around him. “Y-yes!” you cried out, your voice bouncing off the walls of your apartment. “Be good and cum for me,” he grunted.

You grabbed his hand, guiding it to your throat and he understood without you saying a word. He squeezed gently and a moment later, you came undone once more but this time, Changbin went over the edge with you, releasing into the condom with a moan as his hips continued to thrust weakly until he finally came to a stop, panting as you both let your orgasms sweep over you.

The hand around your throat moved, cupping the back of your neck instead as Changbin pressed a kiss to your forehead. He released your wrists and pulled out of you carefully. Your eyes fluttered shut as he moved about, discarding the condom. He returned to the bed a moment later, helping you into a pair of underwear and an oversized shirt. “We should shower,” you whined as he joined you on the bed.

“Hmm, later,” he replied, wrapping an arm around your midsection and pulling you into him. “It’s late, let’s just sleep,” he added and before you could agree or protest, slumber welcomed you.

The next morning you woke up first and carefully got up, heading to the bathroom to do your business. Afterwards, you returned to bed, settling under the covers with Changbin, accidentally waking him in the process. “Sorry,” you whispered as you snuggled up next to him. Changbin murmured under his breath and pulled you in closer, wrapping his arms around you.

“I spent the night,” he finally said and you nodded. “Yes,” you answered, looking up at him. “You did.”

He looked down at you as a silence fell over you. “I guess we should probably discuss what this means…” he trailed off as you smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. “It can mean whatever you want it to mean,” you replied. “If you aren’t looking for a relationship and only want a fuck buddy, I’m fine with that.” Changbin winced at the crude remark. “Or if you’d rather it be a one time thing, I’m okay with that, too.”

“I don’t,” Changbin said quickly. “I don’t want it to be a one time thing.” You smiled at him as he spoke. “But I’m not sure if I want a relationship either,” he continued. You pulled him into a kiss before rolling him onto his back as you straddled his hips. “Well, take your time,” you suggested. “Figure out what you want.” You leaned over to kiss him again, trailing your lips down his neck to his chest.

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere any time soon.”

©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

#cultofdionysusnet #ksmutsociety #kvanity #mfu-net #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #changbin scenarios #changbin imagines #changbin fanfiction #changbin fanfic #changbin smut #changbin x reader #kwanisms kinktober 2023

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neverwinternighting · 3 months ago

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30 days of Nevervember!

It’s November very soon and I was thinking about posting a list of NWN/NWN2-centric general prompts for each day in November! (Get it? Neverwinter + November? Never-vember?) It’s tricky to figure out since not everyone has played both of the games and all the campaigns in them, so something more general you could choose from to create seemed like the best idea.

You can write the prompt. You can draw the prompt. You can do a combination of both. Comics? Hell yeah. Everything is welcome!

If you decide to do these, please feel free to tag me in each one you do so that I can give you reblogs.

This challenge is not in the least bit binding and it is by no means an obligation or a contest - you can do few, you can do all, you can even do only one if you want. It’s entirely up to you!

Prompts listed below (take artistic license in interpretation if you need):

Day 1: your hero's home in their childhood days

Day 2: Your character meeting your (personal) favorite party member for the first time

Day 3: Your character meeting your (personal) LEAST favorite party member for the first time

Day 4: Your character and chosen party members lounging about at camp or in a tavern

Day 5: An embarrassing situation during an adventure

Day 6: your character's final (or most recent) positive memory from their childhood home

Day 7: Meanwhile, in ____... (this is your chance to write/draw the "other side" or the "b-plot" while your character is off doing something else!)

Day 8: The most impactful event your character went through

Day 9: A party member finding a way to cheer up your character

Day 10: The moment your character formed a (romantic OR friendship) crush

Day 11: Something little-known about your character revealed

Day 12: Your character or a party member is caught red-handed! (By whoever you like, doing anything)

Day 13: Your character saying something they end up regretting later during an argument

Day 14: Your character in a lesser-known location in the games (because some of those places need a little more love) (from the illustrious malgriff)

Day 15: Bridging the gap between campaigns if you keep your hero through any of them (even the lesser-known campaigns) (from the ultimate jorvach)

Day 16: Your hero or one of their party members in therapy (from the fantastical fable sage)

Day 17: Wrongly accused of something they didn't do (you can go with the obvious or not if you like!)

Day 18: Long-term consequences (of politics, society, inter-personal relationships, etc) (from the beauteous the-great-elwisty)

Day 19: Your character stuck with the most annoying party member

Day 20: Unexpected middle ground

Day 21: "Just in case we don't make it-"

Day 22: If Volo (or a newspaper like faerunian TMZ) did a news report on something your hero did (inspired by the wondrous malgriff, songofmadness, and lergahin)

Day 23: Uh-oh! Your hero (or party members or both!) suddenly got affected by a curse which turns them back into children for a day. How do they react or cope? Who looks after them? (from the stupendous songofmadness)

Day 24: Doubts

Day 25: A diary entry or scene described from a side character of your choice (inspired by the glorious songofmadness)

Day 26: In ruins

Day 27: How one of your party members views your own character

Day 28: What happens to the characters long after the game has concluded? Are they still in touch with one another/are the events still relevant to them/have they moved on? (from the mysterious the-great-elwisty)

Day 29: How the adventure should have really ended

Day 30: What's next in your character(s) adventures? (from the fabbu the-great-elwisty)

#nwn1 #nwn2 #neverwinter nights #nevervember #hotu #motb #sou #soz #prompts

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majorasnightmare · 1 month ago

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(dj khaled voice) another one

3. How often does Dirge show his genuine emotions?

11. If someone was impersonating Dirge, what would his companions ask or do to tell the difference (curious because of the whole doppleganger subplot in Act 3)

46. Is Dirge a listener or a talker? If he's a listener, what makes him talk? If he's a talker, what makes him listen?

ANOTHER ONE 🥂

im not gonna reblog the source post and put two asks memes on the dash back to back im just gonna link it here smfnsmfnsnf

3. How often does Dirge show his genuine emotions?

You'd think someone with expertise in deception who makes a habit of putting on a persona of amicable NPC would make a point of never showing his hand at any point, but in reality hes an open and shut book constantly wearing his heart on his sleeve. He almost never hides his feelings around people hes invested in interacting with (read: the companions), and the only feelings he makes a point of hiding are his anxities relating to the Urge, and the occasional embarrasment+indignation+shame at not having the knowledge or skills to perform a basic domestic task.

The one exception to this is when Minthara joined the party and he tried (poorly) to hide his overwhelmingly blatant crush on her. She had just gotten out of a horrifying situation that violated her autonomy and trust and now is forced to ally with a bunch of strangers she had once been in conflict with who she knows don't fully trust her because of it, and he doesn't want to burden her with attending to his own feelings and affections when it shouldn't be her responsibility. He wants to give her the space to come to her own conclusions and feelings, especially because she's been denied that freedom for so long, and he doesn't want Minthara to feel like she has to cater to his affection just to stay safe and secure in camp. Thankfully she doesn't know him well enough to pick up all his tells, but everyone else in camp immediately sees hes head over heels trailing behind her like a lovesick puppy. He isn't subtle LMAO

tldr if he is Experiencing Emotion. youll know. and if hes hiding it, you can bully him to find out LOL

11. If someone was impersonating Dirge, what would his compaions ask or do to tell the difference?

A generic doppleganger would really struggle with Dirge's particular brand of body language (slightly unnerving in a way difficult to pin down or isolate, a combination of a tendency to loom, slip inside personal bubbles, and a general bhaalspawn aura of unease), so really itd take about as long as someone finally noticing they don't have a general underlying anxiety.

Orin however grew up with Dirge and is a deadringer for his body language, where she in particular slips up is his personality. The person he is now doesn't make logical consistent sense with the person Orin knew him as and the end result is always someone harsher and crueler than how he actually is. She just can't square that circle because she relies on the image of Dirge in her mind to cope with the things shes done and the person she is now. So that'd be a tip off.

In the hypothetical of something somehow managing to otherwise perfectly replicate Dirge, all someone would have to do is leave something ajar or off center. Dirge compulsively and fastidiously organizes things and is constantly adjusting things to be on center and facing forward, and its just one of his minor OCD symptoms that helps him with feeling in control, so unless a doppelganger snagged his mental illnesses to boot, just watching him walk by an off center mug would be a massive red flag.

Besides that, Dirge is so unhinged and weird there isn't really much you could get him to talk about or say that'd tip anyone off. Hes JUST a freak skfjsmfhsjfn

46. Is Dirge a listener or a talker? If he's a listener, what makes him talk? If he's a talker, what makes him listen?

Dirge goes back and forth between them because the only time he's invested in a conversation enough to be either, is when he's talking to a companion. And then he just flips back and forth because he LOOOOVES social interaction with them, he is going to get such a good grade in Conversation. He loves listening to his friends talk and he loves talking to them, and he enjoys being a chatterbox with them (yay! autonomy and opinions yippee!!) and he loves when THEY'RE being chatterboxes because at the end of the day he is a shelter dog watching his favorite person come home from work. He just enjoys interacting with them and will flipflop to whatever makes it go on longer+more enjoyable. I think he does tend to come OFF as a talker tho because of how often he has to go prying to make people open up, but getting him to be quiet really is just as simple as opening up your own mouth to talk over him.

#hootshooch #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I WAS TALKING ABOUT CUNTY VAMPIRES ON DISCORD #dirge askgames

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thegayhimbo · 1 year ago

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Stranger Things Lucas on the Line Review

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Flight Of Icarus

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Season 1, Episode 1)

Synopsis: Set between the events of seasons 3 and 4, the book follows Lucas during his freshman year of high school as he attempts to chart a different course for his life, taking up basketball as a means of trying new things and getting out of his comfort zone. However, Lucas soon realizes this won't be as easy as he initially thinks: His attempts to blend in with the popular crowd put him at odds with Mike and Dustin, his relationship with Max is deteriorating, and Lucas is forced to face hard truths about how insidiously racism is woven into Hawkins and what it means to be one of the few black kids in a mostly white town......

Observations:

Lucas on the Line acts as a conclusion to what I call "The Outcasts Trilogy," which began with Rebel Robin, followed by Flight of Icarus, and ending with this book. All these Tie-In novels center around three characters (Robin, Eddie, Lucas) who are considered outcasts in Hawkins: Robin is secretly a lesbian in a homophobic culture, Eddie is the town freak due to his interest in D&D, guitar, his low socioeconomic status, and his family's reputation because of his dad's criminal past, and Lucas is a black kid in a society where racism and prejudice are still prevalent. All 3 characters deal with feeling inadequate and unwanted, and attempt to cope with their situations by either blending into the crowd, or else attempting to escape Hawkins. All 3 of them eventually face hard truths and learn to stop denying the aspects of themselves that make them unique.

In Lucas's case, now that he's older and in high school, not only is he beginning to realize the implications of what it means to be black in a neighborhood where racism still lurks, but he's also beginning to understand his family's history, as well as coming to terms with an uncomfortable truth: As much as his friends care about him, they will never truly understand the bigotry and micro-aggressions Lucas is forced to endure as a person of color.

The show has touched on themes of bigotry and racism before, both in Lucas's interracial relationship with Max (which makes him a target for Billy) and the type of bullying he experienced from Troy and James. However, this book expands on those themes by going more into Lucas's fears and insecurities at being discriminated against for being a nerd AND being black, as well as finding someone who understands what he's going through. It also, IMO, deconstructs the "token minority" trope by showing what it's like to be considered that in a group of white friends from the perspective of said minority character, and how dehumanizing it feels.

This book left a lot to ponder. It's not perfect, and there are some flaws in its structure (mostly relating to continuity errors and missed opportunities), but it does inspire discussion, and gives a solid point-of-view to Lucas's character.

Part 1: Lucas's Journey

For as much as this fandom talks about Steve's character development (not that the discussion is unwarranted), Lucas is also another character (next to his sister Erica) who's had subtle but notable growth over the course of the show.

Season 1 had Lucas start out as a loyal member of the Party who was invested in finding Will, but also at odds with Mike and Dustin over El due to his distrust of her (something which got him a lot of flak from fans at the time). All of this came to a head in the junkyard when Lucas realized El was deliberately misleading them so they wouldn't find the Gate, leading to an ugly fight within the group. However, once things settled down, and Lucas realized El's misdirection was her attempting to keep them safe and not an act of maliciousness, he apologized for how he acted (with El also apologizing for lying) and welcomed her into the group, formally accepting her as a friend and member of the Party. Notably, in spite of his misgivings, he never betrayed El to the authorities, demonstrating that his heart was in the right place.

Season 2 continued on with this development. Contrast Lucas's acceptance of Max into the Party and his willingness to reach out to her vs how he initially acted with El in S1. It's notable since, at the time, Mike was hostile towards the idea of Max becoming part of the group. While Lucas had a crush on Max (which is normal for a boy his age), what separated him from the others was his willingness to listen to Max, who had always felt unheard in her house. That conversation on the bus rooftop in S2, where she opens up to Lucas about her home life and how she fears she's becoming like Billy, was meaningful to both of them, not just in Lucas reassuring Max she was a good person, but also Lucas really seeing Max for who she was and loving her for it. And in spite of the threat Billy posed, Lucas refused to be scared off by him (even kneeing Billy in the groin when he pinned him to the wall), and that willingness for Lucas to fight for Max was one of the many reasons Max finally stood up to Billy and made it clear to him that she was done with his abuse.

Season 3 showed Lucas was still navigating his relationship with Max (after getting dumped 5 times), as well as doing his best to advise Mike about his relationship with El. He also got some cool moments, from saving El from the Meat Flayer by chopping off its tendril, to gathering the fireworks to use against the Meat Flayer at the Battle of Starcourt. In spite of this, I remember at the time some fans (including me) wished Lucas had a bigger role in the story. The Duffer Brothers must have heard those criticisms because Lucas ended up getting his own arc in the next season.

There were a lot of great moments in season 4, but Lucas's story was a favorite for me because of how relatable it was. He was in high school trying for a fresh start. He still participated in D&D (Hellfire Club) but also joining basketball because he wanted to break out from being the nerd who was picked on all the time, and because he enjoyed the sport and wanted to give it a shot. He was discovering his identity, which is a big part of the high school experience. Adding onto this, a part of him wanted to achieve popularity as a way of being recognized instead of constantly looked down upon. He got what he wanted when he won the basketball championship............and then experienced firsthand the darker side of popularity, which forced Lucas to ask himself if this is what he really wanted.

Lucas on the Line expands more on the S4 arc by showing the events that led to Lucas doing basketball, and how that put him at odds with Mike and Dustin for a while. We also get to see the circumstances behind his breakup with Max, as well as her spiral into depression following Billy's death.

Something I appreciate is the book doesn't shy away from the trauma and PTSD Lucas is dealing with. The show usually gives that focus to characters like El, Max, Will, Joyce, Hopper, and Nancy, so it's refreshing to see how Lucas has processed everything since Will's disappearance in 1983. The answer is not well. It's even gotten worse since the Battle of Starcourt:

Similar to the way Robin in her novel talks about Hawkins High as a metaphorical monster, there are multiple instances where Lucas makes comparisons between his living situation in Hawkins and the Upside Down:

Granted, this is a metaphor that anyone who's watched the show enough times can pick up on: For as much as Hawkins presents itself as an idyllic neighborhood, there is rot within it, and NOT just from the Upside Down. The town has deeply rooted bigotry entrenched in its structure that takes on many forms (racism, homophobia, bullying, fear-mongering, forced conformity, etc) which the characters are forced to endure on a daily basis. From a symbolic standpoint, the Upside Down is all the nastiness within Hawkins that's covered up with a pretty surface. It may be a town that presents itself as perfect, but the moment you actually take a closer look at your surroundings, you realize that "perfectness" isn't genuine, and that people who present themselves as friendly can reveal just how awful they are in the right circumstances.

I live in a neighborhood like this, and I've been forced to learn time and again that some people in my town (though not all of them) have deeply rooted prejudices and will normalize being cruel because they can get away with it, all the while justifying their behavior as normal. Becoming cynical and cautious is how I've survived it. It reminds me of how Max thinks about her abusive situation with Billy: If you keep the monsters close to you, you're never caught by surprise.

Getting back to Lucas, he's painfully aware of this. Part of his PTSD and trauma isn't just from encountering the horrors of the Upside Down, but also from all the years he was bullied in school:

Lucas explains this to Mike and Dustin on the show, but part of his reasons for joining the basketball team is because he thinks it'll get him in with the popular crowd, and people will stop harassing him. What he doesn't understand (and what Mike and Dustin pick up on pretty quickly) is that even if Lucas changed everything about himself to fit in, he will always be walking on eggshells with that group. If he does everything right, he'll be tenuously accepted, but if he gets one thing wrong, or makes the team look bad in any way (even unintentionally), they will rip him to shreds. I even question what would've happened if Lucas failed to make the winning shot at the championship game: Would the team and the crowd have been as accepting of Lucas for that, or would he have been ostracized on the spot?

I know there are people in this fandom who vilify Mike and Dustin for going to Hellfire Club over Lucas's basketball games. As time has passed, I maintain they made the right call. Not only were they bullied by the basketball jocks way before they joined Hellfire Club (with Jason doing nothing to stop it), but they could see Lucas was deluding himself, and that these were not the kind of people they wanted to be friends with. At least with Eddie, they were accepted for who they were without having to make major changes to their identities to fit in. Even with Lucas, Eddie still welcomed him into the Hellfire Club despite his initial reluctance and the fact Lucas was on the basketball team. He didn't care that Lucas was black (which was a problem for several white basketball jocks like Lee Garroway) or that Lucas had extracurricular activities outside of Hellfire. He just cared that Lucas wanted to be there and was willing to invest in their D&D Campaign.

(SIDE NOTE: This is a big reason I roll my eyes hard at Billy stans who whine about Eddie being a similar replacement for Billy. The major differences between Eddie and Billy is a.) Eddie wasn't a bully, b.) Eddie didn't care about becoming Kings of Hawkins High like Billy did, and c.) Eddie could afford to be in the same room with Lucas for more than 30 seconds without being racist towards him or wanting to attack him. Enough said.)

And it should be noted that while Mike and Dustin are skeptical about Lucas doing basketball, they eventually accept it and even show up to one of his basketball practices (along with Erica) where Lucas does his best and still gets shit from his teammates for how he played.

Both Mike and Dustin saw how Lucas was being treated, as well as the fact Lucas was benched up until the championship, and they rightfully concluded that even if Lucas became popular, a.) It wouldn't change how THEY were being treated (no matter what Lucas told them), and b.) Lucas would forever be trying to live up to expectations from others until he became a shell of his former self. It's a lot like what Chrissy Cunningham went through where she maintained the perfect popular image as the Queen Bee of Hawkins High at the cost of her mental health and well being.

To Lucas's credit, he eventually realizes this at the end. As angry as he was at Dustin and Mike for skipping the Championship, he came to understand why they made that decision. When the time came between choosing Jason and the basketball team vs his friends, he chose his friends:

Caleb McLaughlin even noted this in an interview post S4: Lucas wanted to find acceptance, but the problem is you can't force other people to accept you. Mike and Dustin, in spite of their flaws, accepted Lucas for who he was. Jason and the other basketball players (with the exception of Jay) only accepted Lucas when he either made the team look good, or when they wanted something from him.

This doesn't necessarily mean the book (or even the show) paints Lucas wanting to do basketball as a wrong thing. It was a choice like everything else. Lucas's reasons for wanting to do basketball went beyond just wanting to be popular: He wanted to try something new. He wanted something he was passionate about. Not only did he find that, but he also got to share it with another teammate who understood him: Jermaine "Jay" Demario.

Part 2: Lucas's Relationships with other characters

Jay is a new character from the book who's not only one of the few black kids in Hawkins, but also one of the only basketball players who treats Lucas decently and takes him under his wing. He's the one who encourages Lucas to step out of his comfort zone and try out basketball. He's also one of the few jocks (though he doesn't consider himself a jock in the traditional sense) who's a decent person, and Lucas looks up to him as a mentor the same way Dustin does with Steve. Jay gives Lucas useful advice about balancing his extracurricular activities with other aspects of his life, and he's the one who trains Lucas to do well at basketball, from practicing after school with him, to having Lucas check out videos of NBA playoffs and finals to improve his skills. He also accepts Lucas wanting to do Hellfire Club, and tells him there's nothing wrong with being both a jock and a nerd.

Speaking as someone who made Varsity for cross-country and track & field AND took AP classes during high school, I can relate to that last bit! 🙂

Jay was a cool character, and I'm sad he wasn't in the show. It's nice Lucas was able to have a friend, however briefly, whom he could confide in, and who understood the issues Lucas dealt with because of who he was and where he lived (more on that in a minute).

Erica's relationship with Lucas also gets a bit more time here. She's still snarky towards Lucas, but there are moments demonstrating she cares for him. For instance, despite initially criticizing how Lucas played during a practice, she is pissed when Lee and some other basketball players call Lucas a racist slur:

Later on, after Lucas becomes the target of a bomb threat, there's a quiet scene where Erica comes in to hang out with Lucas. Even though she doesn't verbally say it, it's clear from her demeanor she's genuinely worried for Lucas's safety:

She may exchange barbs with him, but she knows where to draw the line. The fact she also showed up for all of Lucas's basketball games on her own accord (minus the championship) despite Lucas being benched conveys she supports her brother in her own way. I liked the evolution of Lucas and Erica's relationship in S4, and I'm hoping that continues into S5. If the final scenes of S4 are any indication of foreshadowing, they'll likely be working together, so we'll probably get to see more of their sibling dynamic.

Max's relationship with Lucas also gets focus. For the most part, they are not in a good place. Ever since Billy's death at Starcourt Mall, Max has fallen into a deep depression and become withdrawn from everyone, including Lucas. A good chunk of the story is Lucas trying to reach out to Max and make it clear to Max that he's there for her. The problem is he doesn't know how since Max keeps rejecting any attempts to hang out with him, or for him to help her. The dynamic is sadly realistic for anyone who's had friends or family who suffer from chronic depression and feel frustrated or helpless when they try to help that person recover. Lucas does everything he can for Max in the book, from giving her the space she needs, to offering to listen to her. We also get to see Lucas's perspective on why he cares so much for Max (just like Max's novel showed us why she was attracted to Lucas):

What's sad is Max does understand what Lucas is trying to do. She knows he cares about her. At the same time though, she can't pretend things are normal anymore, or that she doesn't feel immense guilt over how she wished something horrible would happen to Billy and got her wish granted (as she admits to Vecna in the S4 finale), or that her life hasn't changed for the worse:

BTW, the breakup between Max and Lucas that's alluded to in S4 happens in the book. It's during Thanksgiving when Lucas sneaks out of his house to give Max some Thanksgiving dinner while she's at the skating park. It's also the first time Lucas hears Max play "Running Up That Hill" by Kate Bush and truly understands the meaning of that song........and what it means for their relationship:

What's admirable about Lucas is that, in spite of what's going on with Max and her attempts to distance herself from him, he still keeps fighting for her any way he can, right up to the end of the book when Vecna tries to kill Max the first time in the graveyard. And it pays off. Those memories she has of her time with Lucas, combined with the moments she shared with her friends, allow her to break free from Vecna, to remember she has something to live for, that she has people who care about her, and that she doesn't have to be consumed by guilt over what happened to Billy.

Speaking of Billy, the few times Lucas brings him up, he does NOT talk about Billy in a positive light. If there was any doubt about whether Lucas hated Billy, this book puts that to rest. One passage in particular stuck out:

I know Lucas is projecting his anger towards Billy in this moment (not that I blame him), but the idea that Vecna/The Mind Flayer was drawn to Billy because of the darkness in his heart is an interesting idea. We know Vecna initially spared El at Hawkins Lab while killing the other kids because he saw a lot of himself in El (both with her struggles developing her powers, and her treatment under Brenner and her "brothers/sisters") and believed El would be grateful to him for "saving her." It's also implied on the show (and by Vecna's actor, Jamie Campbell Bower) that Vecna feels the same way about Will, which is why he has a creepy interest in him. Billy in many ways resembles Vecna in his rage and sadistic desire to hurt everything and everyone around him, and that aspect may have attracted Vecna to Billy. Granted, it's hard to know if that's the case since Billy was initially driving that night to hook up with Karen before crashing by the warehouse where that piece of the Mind Flayer was nesting, but it's also possible Vecna could have sensed Billy before then, and thought he'd make a great candidate to put his plan into motion.

Then there's Lucas's relationship with Jason: Lucas picks up pretty quickly that something's off about Jason, particularly when he's preparing for the prep-rally speech by slamming his hands in the lockers hard enough to leave dents. Lucas also isn't impressed with Jason's speech, and rightfully notes that Jason invokes the Starcourt tragedy for "cheap audience reactions" (which is why Max looks hurt in the scene when Jason brings up Billy). There's also a scene after Jason's confrontation with Eddie in the cafeteria where he and Andy make disparaging remarks about people who live in trailer parks. When Lucas speaks out against that (because Max was forced to move into a trailer park after Neil left Susan), Jason loses his shit:

By the time of Chrissy's death when Jason's organized the basketball team into hunting down Eddie and tortures Gareth for information, Lucas finally understands just how unhinged Jason is, and even compares Jason to Billy:

I know some people defend Jason on the grounds that Chrissy's death impacted him in a negative way, and that Patrick's later death made things worse because it happened under circumstances that couldn't be explained, which is why Jason jumped on the "Hellfire Club is a Satanic cult" bandwagon. While there is some truth to this, it ignores how Jason already had negative qualities brewing underneath, and that Chrissy's death didn't create these issues, but instead brought them to the surface in the worst way possible. Jason already had inherent prejudices against D&D and anyone he deemed as a "freak" (as depicted in the Flight of Icarus book) and the show established that he had a very self-absorbed, hot-headed, entitled attitude even before things got bad. Maybe he was initially able to keep these negative qualities under control, but they didn't magically manifest out of thin air just because Chrissy died.

Regardless of whether we chose to admit it, we all have a dark side. We all have aspects of our personality we're not proud of. Jason is no different in that regard. The problem is the lack of self-awareness on his part about those flaws, combined with his self-righteous belief that he was doing the right thing even though his actions put innocent people in danger.

I could sympathize with Jason over the deaths of Chrissy and Patrick, but my sympathy ended when he organized a Witch Hunt against the Hellfire Club (who had NOTHING to do with Chrissy and Patrick's deaths) and not-so-subtly threatened Nancy at the gun store and made it clear he intended to go after Mike. At that point, I was done with him. Judging by the final conversation between Lucas and Jason, where Jason refuses to hear Lucas's explanations about what's going on because it doesn't fit with his preconceived notions, Lucas was done with him as well:

Jason: "I never should have let you in the door."

Lucas (coldly): "And I never should have knocked. I thought I wanted to be like you. Popular. Normal. But it turns out normal's just a raging psychopath."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Part 3: Lucas's Experiences with Racism and Bigotry

Lucas has been made the target of racism by characters like Troy, James, and Billy on the show, but this book is where Lucas begins to understand the full ramifications of what it means to be black in a world where racism is ingrained into society. We also get to see how it psychologically impacts Lucas and feeds into his worst insecurities.

Take Lucas's introduction to the basketball team for instance: For the most part, his tryout is average (not awful, but not spectacular), but Jason still allows him on the team for one particular reason:

There's always been a question in the fandom about whether Jason was racist in the same way Billy was. I know Caleb doesn't think so, and argued Billy was worse (and given the the amount of mental gymnastics certain fans have done to pretend Billy wasn't racist, as well as Caleb's experiences with racism in the fandom, I get where his position is coming from), but this book suggests otherwise. Jason may not have been as overtly racist as Billy was, but there is a soft bigotry at play here in Jason allowing Lucas on the team BECAUSE he was black as opposed to Lucas's actual skills. Some people will probably argue against Jason being racist because of his friendship with Patrick, but that's basically the "I can't be racist because I have a black friend" argument.

What's depressing is this haunts Lucas for the remainder of the book. In spite of how hard he practices to get better, he can't shake off the idea that he was only let on the team because of his skin color (and because of the stereotypical idea that all black people do basketball), and not because he earned it. This is reinforced by other members of the basketball team, led by Lee Garroway, who not-so-subtly takes every opportunity to remind Lucas of this:

Speaking of which, this book introduces another bully in the form of Lee Garroway, and he's a loathsome piece of work. Like Billy, he is outwardly racist towards Lucas, but he takes it a step further in targeting both Lucas and Jay because he, along with several other members of the team, are pissed that they made it to the subs roster (thinking Lucas and Jay only got that position because they're both black) and could potentially make Varsity, which is a position they all want. This all culminates in Lee rigging both Jay and Lucas's lockers to spray them with glitter, and then later rigs Lucas's locker again with a bomb that almost kills a janitor working at the school. Lucas manages to catch Lee in the act by planting a camera in his locker after the first attack, and even though the footage gets Lee's friends expelled, Lee is still let off the hook because his father is a donor to the school and bribes Mr. Higgins into covering it up. It's similar to what happened in Flight of Icarus when Eddie accuses Mr. Higgins of looking the other way when it came to athletic players like Tommy and Jason who bully other students and are allowed to get away with it because their fathers have the principal in their pockets.

Remember that profoundly stupid comment from the Angela apologist I talked about in my review of Darkness on the Edge of Town?

This is why that comment struck a nerve: Putting aside how this take is completely devoid of critical thought, it misses the fact that the reason bullies like Angela, Jason, Tommy, and Lee feel justified in their behavior is BECAUSE most of the adults enable them. At best, they do the bare minimum in disciplining these teens, and at worst, they look the other way and punish people like El and Eddie who try to stand up for themselves and others.

And I'm sorry, but the "They are children, none of them are responsible for what they do" excuse can take a flying leap into a volcano for all I care. If you deliberately make a bomb that you know will put someone in the hospital (or even get them killed), you are responsible for your behavior. This isn't like Lee was incapable of understanding what he was doing was wrong. To imply otherwise is stupid beyond belief. 🙄

What's infuriating is not only does Lee barely get a slap on the wrist for what he did, but the bomb threat was enough to cause Jay and his family to move, meaning Lucas lost one of the few friends he could depend on.

On top of that, this isn't even unique to Jay's situation. Both of Lucas's parents also have history which involved moving around to find a place where they could, at the very least, be tolerated in their community. All the while, they knew on some level they'd never truly be accepted:

Lucas's parents did the best they could in trying to protect Lucas and Erica and raise them so they wouldn't have to go through the same circumstances they did. The problem though is that racism has become normalized to such an extent that there isn't a way to escape it.

On a related note, this is why I find the current attempts by Conservatives to stop Critical Race Theory from being taught in schools to be vile: These people want to pretend racism is a thing of the past, like it isn't still impacting people of color in the United States to this day, and are perfectly okay trying to whitewash history and limit any attempts at discussion to achieve that goal. It's been an ongoing issue where I live (to the point that last year, three new members were elected to the school district so they could push their agendas and prevent CRT and other "undesired talking points" in schools), and I know it's been an ongoing issue elsewhere in the United States (*cough* Florida *cough*). John Oliver did a brilliant breakdown of this last year, and I highly recommend watching it:

youtube

Just like with many of the other books in this series (Darkness on the Edge of Town, Rebel Robin, Flight of Icarus, etc) Lucas on the Line illustrates that many of the social issues these characters experienced in the 80s continue to be a problem today. Very little has changed, and while people might be more willing to hide their bigotry, or pretend it's something else, that doesn't mean it's gone.

Part 4: Missed Opportunities and Continuity Errors

Like I said before, this book isn't perfect, and has its flaws. I can't speak for what notes Suyi Davies, the author of the book, got from the Duffer Brothers and Netflix, but there were some major contradictions that were hard to ignore.

For instance, there's a flashback where Lucas is supposed to be in third grade and first experiences discrimination against him when the other kids are afraid of swimming with him because they think his "blackness" will rub off on them. While the flashback is effective in showing the insidiousness of how kids can be bigoted at a young age, it's undermined by the date this flashback is supposed to take place in: June 6, 1981. At this point, Lucas would have finished fourth grade, not third grade. On top of that, it's mentioned that Lucas wasn't friends with Mike, Will, and Dustin yet, but that's not only contradicted by other tie-in materials, but also by Dustin's claim on the show that he didn't join the Party until he was in 4th grade, which would have been around 1980. For Lucas to be in third grade in 1981 and not know any of his friends at this point makes no sense.

Then there's the third act of the book, which takes place within the first four episodes of S4: The show establishes the events in those episodes takes place between March 21st-24th, 1986. However, the book changes this so it takes place between April 4th-7th, 1986. The reasons for this are unclear, especially since this book came out AFTER S4 premiered, but I suspect it may have something to do with "Birtdaygate" (i.e. the Duffer Brothers forgetting Will's Birthday was supposed to be on March 22nd). I can't tell if Netflix was trying to retcon the dates because they were embarrassed by "Birthdaygate," or if S4 was originally supposed to be set in April before they changed it to March at the last minute (which begs the question of why they did that), but it is something that's been on my mind for a while now.

Moving past these errors, I was disappointed the book didn't expand more on Patrick's character despite having the opportunity to do so. In the show, Patrick demonstrates a friendlier side to Lucas during their time together, and I know it was speculated at the time that there was more to his interactions with Lucas. However the book doesn't explore that angle, and we don't get a lot of information about Patrick. It's frustrating because, out of all of Vecna's victims, Patrick is the only one that doesn't get his backstory fully fleshed out. We see why and how Chrissy, Fred, and Max were targeted, but it's only implied in Patrick's case. Lucas speculates Patrick had an abusive father, but neither the book nor the show elaborate on this, which makes Patrick come off as a wasted character, especially when his death could have had a bigger impact on Lucas.

Finally, this is just a minor nitpick, but I was unhappy that the book didn't seize on the opportunity of Lucas and Steve playing at least one game of basketball. There's a scene in the book when Steve offers to go one-on-one with Lucas, and Lucas turns him down:

For the story's sake, I get why they had Jay be the one to practice with Lucas as opposed to Steve, but it still feels like a missed opportunity, especially when it was implied on the show that Lucas and Steve's had a better relationship after S2 following Steve protecting them from the demodogs.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, I would recommend this book. It's interesting seeing things from Lucas's perspective, as well as how he views his relationship with others, and how he copes with his trauma. The book does a stellar job exploring how the racism inherent in Hawkins has impacted Lucas's life and well-being, and it's also a relatable journey of finding your identity and rising above the stereotypes people place around you and your community.

As for where Lucas goes from here, I'm wagering that he'll have a role in bringing Max back from the coma Vecna's placed her in, and that they'll finally get that date night at the theaters.

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saintmeghanmarkle · 7 months ago

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Meghan Markle 'wants her old life back' by u/RazMoon

Meghan Markle 'wants her old life back' I was alerted to this latest puff piece via YoutTuber PDina's video on this.I looked to see if this was posted already and didn't see it. If it is a duplicate, please delete.Here is the video in question with insightful analysis on the state of affairs that MM now finds herself in:YouTube Video Link : Meghan Misses Her Past Life And Want It Back! Live link to GB News article : Meghan Markle 'wants her old life back' as duchess 'misses' care-free A-list lifestyleArchived link to GB News article : Meghan Markle 'wants her old life back' as duchess 'misses' care-free A-list lifestyleOh, my goodness!She's barely Z-list but laments the loss of her A-list lifestyle. If you are A-list, that wouldn't go away despite marrying anyone much less a prince from the most famous royal family.She truly is a lunatic.Edited to Add:Found another article with the same verbiage but with more detailed hilarious quotes.Live Link *The Royal Observer" : ROYAL REGRET: MEGHAN MARKLE 'MISSES' A-LIST LIFESTYLE AND 'WANTS HER OLD LIFE BACK' BEFORE PRINCE HARRYArchived Link *The Royal Observer" : ROYAL REGRET: MEGHAN MARKLE 'MISSES' A-LIST LIFESTYLE AND 'WANTS HER OLD LIFE BACK' BEFORE PRINCE HARRYSome of my favorite excerpts:"While she'd never change what she has with Harry and the kids, there is a big part of her that she wishes she could just get her old life back," they added. "She loved being in Suits and all the opportunities it gave her — she'd get invited to all the exclusive events and get to hang out with Hollywood A-listers, but there was so much less scrutiny and attention and there was no pressure on her."But the Duchess could be getting ready to go back in front of the camera despite four years of scrutiny following "Megxit."Another insider close to the Sussex camp said: "She feels the time is right to start looking at offers as she knows she’ll be criticized whatever she does, so she can cope with backlash and wants to do what makes her happy."AND"She has quite a few work commitments coming up but this is just the beginning of Meghan's big comeback and she'll be doing things on her terms," the insider observed. "She loved being in Suits and all the opportunities it gave her — she'd get invited to all the exclusive events and get to hang out with Hollywood A-listers but there was so much less scrutiny and attention and there was no pressure on her." post link: https://ift.tt/RMfH9i8 author: RazMoon submitted: July 29, 2024 at 08:30PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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triforce-of-mischief · 1 year ago

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Blindfold Aftermath (Part 2)

Fandoms: Linked Universe, That Broken Promise

Length: Moderate (3185 words)

Summary: Legend and Chief have been avoiding each other for days. Far takes matters into his own hands.

AO3

Chapter 1 2 3

Please show your support with a reblog! Likes do nothing.

He hurt me he betrayed me he LIED to me.

Legend had thought that he had finally found somebody he could trust with his phobia. He had known that it was a risk, befriending a medic of all people, but Chief had truly seemed different. Chief knew what he was talking about, from coping techniques to medical knowledge. He had even expressed anger at Legend’s old doctor for mistreating him.

Which is why Legend felt so impossibly devastated that Chief had done the same to him.

Not even Warriors knew what had happened. He had been there when the morphine wore off, and Legend had let him check the stitches, but he had refused to say a word about Chief.

Legend couldn’t remember anything beyond Chief… giving him the morphine. He guessed that he had been upset and angry, like he still was now. It was something to feel, at least, and he did so gladly. He didn’t have to think about what had happened, just… deal with how he felt about it.

Which he was doing very well, thank you.

It helped that Chief was avoiding Legend just as much as Legend was avoiding Chief. Legend hadn’t so much as glimpsed the medic in however many days it had been. Good. Legend wasn’t ready to see Chief again. Not now, not-

…Not yet.

He was reluctant to say never, and that frustrated him. Legend’s mind was just as traitorous as Chief had been, convinced that they could still be friends like nothing bad had happened.

Legend didn’t want to pretend that things were normal after that unforgivable loss of trust. He wanted to isolate and be angry and wait for things to settle on their own.

He wanted that to feel like the right choice.

****

Far waited a few days, to see if Chief and Legend would work things out without interference from the other heroes. He did his best to keep Red occupied, since Warriors was wary of overwhelming Legend while he was still so unstable. Far even tried approaching Chief after the first full day since the incident. The medic had waved him off, curtly signing that it was “up to Legend.” A terrible excuse, in Far’s opinion, but it wasn’t his place to argue so he didn’t. Far helped to keep Chief fed (at least he hoped so; none of them actually saw Chief eat) but that was the extent of what Chief would allow Far to do for him.

It was stupidly, painfully obvious that Chief and Legend were taking impressive lengths to avoid each other. Confined to their combined camp as they were, neither of them emerged from their tents or joined a gathering by the fire unless it was absolutely necessary, and did the exact opposite of acknowledging the other’s presence.

As the days dragged by with no sign of a reconcile, it was harder for Far to do his part to keep the peace. Red was antsy, asking questions that everybody refused to answer. Chief and Legend had been practically inseparable just days before, and their silent fallout was hard on the kid. It was hard on everyone, and they couldn’t do anything about it.

Eventually, Far resolved that he was going to have to talk to Legend. It was clear that Warriors was too close to the veteran to push his boundaries at all. Far didn’t want to mess Legend up any further either, but as it was they were getting absolutely nowhere. It might’ve been best for Far to be the one to talk to him; he wasn’t as close to Legend as Chief, or hell, Kokiri was. If anybody was going to carefully test Legend’s limits, it might as well have been Far.

With that decided, Far waited for an opportunity to catch Legend alone. It didn’t take long; Legend made his way down to the river that same afternoon, and Far followed with his own pile of laundry.

“Mind if I join you?” Far asked, sitting on the bank at Legend’s nod of assent. He focused on setting out his own clothes, not looking at Legend as he said, “So. Got a minute?”

Legend gestured at his pile of clothes as if to say “not like I have a choice” but answered, “Yeah, what’s up?” He sounded instantly defensive, so Far kept his voice completely calm.

“Go ahead, be mad. I'm curious what got you and Chief at odds,” Far explained. “Because you were both really close and it's starting to get Red jumpy.”

“He... had to treat me. I got hurt and neither of us had anything,” Legend said, quiet and blunt.

Nothing that Far didn’t already know. “Okay. So he stitched up your arm, and now you're both hurting from it and ignoring each other?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Legend said, already tense.

“Are they still in?" Far asked, hoping that a subject change would work better. "The stitches. I remember that you all heal less quickly than us.”

“I- I guess so. I don't really want to know.”

Far paused, unable to mask a brief moment of horror. “...Please tell me someone's checking under your bandage? It's been four days!”

Legend still didn’t seem as concerned as Far thought he ought to be. “Yeah, Wars has. He knows not to tell me anything unless something's wrong.”

Far covered his face and muttered, “So probably yes.”

Once again, they were getting absolutely nowhere. Back to square one, then.

“Look… we don't have to talk about this. I know Chief hurt you, and he knows it too, that's why he's so upset. But like, he's a friend,” Far said gently. “I hope you know he wishes he never had to hurt you.”

He looked over at Legend, who stared back, unconvinced.

“You were pretty out of it when they found you, but you were still clinging to him then. You wouldn’t let him out of your sight as I carried you back,” Far continued, hoping to revive lost memories.

It had almost been cute, how the injured kid had been so out of it yet so determined to make sure that his friend was okay.

Legend’s voice was flat as he stated, “The morphine made me stupid. Chief knew what he was doing.”

“Yeah, he did. He wanted you to be alive and well more than he wants you to like him,” Far said, still calm even though the words hurt. “And that's fair, and if you never want to see him again, fine. But you were friends once, and he did everything he could to make you comfortable. Is there anything else you'd ask of him?”

“...I trusted him, and he used that. I don't ever want to hear 'for your own good' again but... I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about what he did,” Legend said, then shuddered and began to draw back into himself.

Far gave a neutral hum. “I wanted to at least try to talk to you. I’ve tried, but he's not spoken to anyone since we got you both back.”

Legend flinched at that, so Far pushed on. He returned his focus to his laundry, which was nearly gone by this point.

“You're entitled to be mad,” Far said, almost tired. “He did hurt you, nobody's going to deny it. You two were in an awful situation, even if neither of you had any issues with injuries at all. But he feels that he hurt you, Lege. He's grieving it. You don't have to go see him now, but don't think that Chief hurt you lightly. He did it because he cares enough to see you live without him, too.”

Legend took a minute to think of the right thing to say, ending up with self-deprecating deflection that any of them would know all too well. “…I hurt him too. I said things that I thought would save me, because they would hurt him. And now he's still messed up, because of me. I haven't done anything to earn his favor, if we're calling it that.”

“People say awful things when they're in pain, Lege. He knows that," Far sighed. “Chief will forgive you a hell of a lot if you want him back. I'm not saying you have to, but sometimes friends hurt each other. It doesn't have to be the end.”

"It's... stupid, but.… I don't want it to be,” Legend said, barely above a whisper. “It's going to be hard to forgive him, but I’d never forgive myself if I lost him because of this.”

“I’ll let him know. He'll be patient, don't worry,” Far said softly. He watched Legend nod, jaw tense like he was debating whether to ask something, and he added, “If there's anything else that'll help you, let me know?”

Legend nodded again and hurried to say, “Can- can you be there? If he says it’s ok… I don’t want it to be just us.”

“Yeah, of course,” Far reassured him, pleasantly surprised by the veteran’s request. He hadn’t expected to gain the kid’s trust so fast. “You could probably ask for anyone else too. Whoever you need for support, they’ll be there.”

“You said Red's jumpy... I don't want him to hear this,” Legend said, biting his lip.

“He's a kid. You're important to him, and he can tell that something's gone wrong.” Legend was shaking his head, so Far shrugged that off. “But you could also have like, Kokiri or Wars with you, too.”

“Whoever Chief's comfortable with…”

“Lege, it’s Chief. He likes anyone,” Far said, holding back a laugh at the thought of Chief acting otherwise.

Legend admitted, “I… didn't really tell Wars either... He just knows it happened.”

Well, that changed things. If he hadn’t even told his most trusted brother…

Far dragged a hand down a face and asked, “Why? Because you didn’t want to hear him agree it was needed?”

Legend flinched hard. “No, I just wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

Far winced as well, adding a quiet curse. “Sorry- I'm not any better at this. I didn't mean that as an accusation.”

“It’s fine,” Legend mumbled, squeezing his hat particularly hard to wring the water out.

“If you say so,” Far sighed. “I’ll leave you be. Let me know when you're ready. It can wait until you are.”

Legend nodded, not looking up as Far stood to leave. “Yeah… okay.”

****

Chief was, predictably, still hiding in his tent when Far sought him out. He had worked himself into a corner, and Far had to step carefully around deconstructed bits and bobs that were meticulously laid out on the floor. Chief gave Far a brief, tired glance, turning a tool over in his hands as Far knelt across from him.

“I spoke with Legend,” Far said, and watched hope-worry-fear flash across Chief’s face before settling back to tired emptiness.

“Is he okay?” Chief asked quietly, his voice unsteady from days of neglect.

Far considered for a moment, then said, “He’s doing as well as you are.”

Chief made a hum that probably wasn’t supposed to sound as pained as it did.

“He wants to try to talk to you. Soon. Not now, but when you’re ready?” Far asked, waiting patiently as Chief froze.

Chief blinked and said, “That’s… good. That’s good. I’m glad. Whenever he’s ready… I can talk to him.”

“Thank you,” Far said, smiling even though Chief was no longer looking. “We’ll wait for him, then?”

Chief nodded, and Far took his leave.

****

Legend approached him sooner than he had expected; only two days had passed since he had agreed to give Chief a chance. Far could practically see the nerves coming off the kid, and he mentally steeled himself for what was sure to be a difficult conversation.

“Hey Lege, what do you need?” Far asked calmly. He wasn’t about to assume anything, not about a situation that was this sensitive.

Legend twisted one of his rings so harshly that Far was half-worried that his finger would come off with it. “Um... I'm ready to talk to Chief now, if you're not busy...”

Doubtful, but Far didn’t challenge Legend’s judgement. “Yeah, sure. Do you want me to bring him over here or come with me?”

“I can come,” Legend said instantly, and took a step closer.

“Sure. I haven’t seen him leave his tent today, so…”

Far led him to Chief’s tent, holding up a finger in a signal for him to wait outside. Far poked his head inside, where the medic was curled up in a corner with a book.

Far cleared his throat and said, “Hey Chief? I need a second.”

He shifted as Chief looked up, letting him see Legend behind him. Chief went pale in the face with shock, and Far heard a faint whimper from Legend.

Far didn’t trust that either of them were truly ready for this conversation. At least he could trust that things wouldn’t get violent. Still, they were in desperate need of a mediator.

“Here will do,” Far said, grateful that Chief’s things were fully reassembled by now. There was room for him to walk; room for them to sit. “We should have enough quiet here, I think.”

He sat near Chief, mostly facing him but angled enough that Legend could position Far between them. Unsurprisingly, the veteran did so, the wings on his boots fluttering even as he settled.

“Right…” Chief rasped, reciprocating Legend’s refusal to look at him.

A few beats of silence passed before Legend broke it. “Um… hi.”

Chief gave a vague hum, then swallowed and managed to say, “…I’m glad you look well.”

Far held back a wince at hearing how stiff his friend’s voice was.

“It’s nearly healed... You did a good job,” Legend mumbled, picking at the edge of the bandage until Far nudged him.

Chief, thankfully, had still not looked up. “Good. I’m… relieved…” He closed his eyes for a moment, and his voice was slightly stronger when he continued. “I’m sorry. I… had to trick you, but I'm sorry I hurt you. If there had been any other way…”

“Yeah… thanks,” Legend whispered. He shuddered, collecting his thoughts. “Um… I'm sorry too, for what I said. I wanted to say anything that might've stopped you- and you didn't deserve to hear it."

Chief gave a soft laugh and nodded, though Far detected the first hint of tears in his voice. “I know. I… thank you. I'm sorry we couldn't… I don't know what all Far said, but I'll be okay if you don't want to talk to me again, I promise.”

Far silently offered his hand to Legend, who grabbed it with a faint whine.

“It's upsetting, but I'm not the one who was hurt worst. No matter how rude you were, you weren’t in your right mind. You were just trying to defend yourself.”

Chief shrank into himself, and Far resisted the urge to sigh. This was not how this apology was supposed to go. Didn’t Chief have experience with this kind of patient? Legend was just a scared kid and Chief was a trained medic and the adult, and Far had half a mind to hiss as such at him. Instead, Far bit his tongue and let Legend stammer through his own protest.

“No, I don't want to lose you. Even though you hurt me- and I’m sorry, but I don't think I can forget that- you still know the most about what I went through. Things may not be perfect, but I don't want this to ruin everything.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to forget. I did hurt you,” Chief said, then finally turned to look at Legend. “It was necessary, but it still happened. Even so, it can still be okay.”

“People hurt each other,” Far said softly. “It's just part of being alive.”

Legend glanced up at Far, inadvertently meeting Chief’s eyes instead. He jolted and hid his face in Far’s side.

Chief had been scowling at Far, but looked away just as quickly as Legend had. He pulled his legs close and rested his chin on his knees, watching Legend out of the corner of his eye. “It’s okay if you still want to wait,” Chief said gently. “I appreciate getting to apologize to you. I didn't want to bother you while you were still upset.”

“I don't... like being like this,” Legend said, still pressed against Far. “I didn't know that I was making things worse by avoiding you. I wasn't ready to talk before, but I am now. I am still upset, but… you don't need to be hurt too.”

“You weren't making things worse for me, Lege. I knew what would happen when I did it,” Chief said, soft and careful. “Of course I was sad to lose your friendship, but you can't… you can’t put that over someone's health. I had to make a decision, and I’m sorry that you were part of it.”

Legend swallowed hard before saying, “I don’t want to lose our friendship. this is something we can grow from, right? It’s been over for days, I’m sick of pushing each other away.”

“Yeah, if you're ready,” Chief agreed. “If you’re ready we can move on. You were… worried about me, even high you know? It was nice.” He turned to look at Legend again, watching the kid with a tired semblance of a smile.

“Really? I don’t remember anything…” Legend frowned, trying to make sense of a story that didn’t line up right.

“I’m not surprised, I used a high dose,” Chief sighed. “You were kinda sweet, though. You insisted we cuddle.”

Far allowed himself a quiet laugh, relieved at the thought that the immediate aftermath hadn’t been all bad.

“Man, I really was out of it…” Legend hummed, but he sounded more hopeful than anything.

“You were.” Chief laughed weakly, and Far caught him rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “I won’t tell.”

“Thanks.” Legend sniffled, then hesitated like he was surprised at his own emotion. “What a mess…”

Far settled Legend fully on his lap without protest, biting back the urge to coo as the melted kid peeked at Chief once more.

“Do you two need to hug again now?” Far suggested gently, squeezing Legend’s hand as reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Legend made a soft, almost-nervous sound, then nodded and reached ever-so-slowly for his friend. Chief barely looked any more confident, but Far’s expectant look followed him as he stood and let Legend pull him back down to curl up on his own lap. It was a position that almost seemed preestablished, Chief letting himself be small and vulnerable while Legend held him close. The three of them were a tangled mess, and Far wouldn’t have it any other way.

The smaller two, overcome with raw emotion, were a shivering, silently sobbing mess, clinging to each other with the terror that the other would let go. Far hugged them both, knowing that as long as they took to heal, he would remind them that they were there for each other.

#linked universe #lu #lu legend #that broken promise #tbp #tbp far #tbp chief #fable writes

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irotinmyroom · 8 months ago

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‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‎INTRO POST

my name's dean or toby, whichever one u prefer more!!

i'm a minor but i don't mind adults interacting if ur not creepy!!

i'm bad at communicating with people a lot so if i'm a bit awkward, i'm sorrryyy!!

my pronouns r he/him (but i'm fine with any gender neutral pronouns too) and i'm bi and trans (ftm)!!

this blog is mostly reblogs (with occasional art of my own), and i am multifandom (with 1 main fandom at a time tho)

please let me know if i say something wrong or overstep boundaries!! if i do anything wrong, i wanna improve on it!!

FANDOMS, HOBBIES, MOVIES, TV SHOWS, BOOKS

‏‏‎ ‎ fandoms!!

‏‏‎ top interests rn is pressure (roblox game) and slenderverse!! i also rlly like deadplate, cold front, eloquent countenance, elevator hitch, and bittersweet sentence!! and other fandoms that i like are sally face, cry of fear, five nights at freddys, purpleverse, bendy and the ink ‏‏‎‏‏‏‎‏machine, nso,‏‎ ‏‏‎ddlc, + more !!

‏‏‎ ‎ hobbies / general interests

drawing, writing, reading, baking, photography, collecting soda can ‎‏‏‎tabs, slugs, snails, worms, rats/mice, spirituality, tarot, crystals, psychology, biblical angels, antidepressants

‏‏‎ ‎ movies

the lost boys, american psycho, ghostbusters (1984, 1989, 2021), beetlejuice, death proof, jaws, the outsiders, scream, nightmare on ‎‏‏‎elm street, halloween, children of the corn, saw ii, fnaf, it (1990), ‎‎‏‏‏‏silver bullet, little shop of horrors, spree, family (2018), and fanfic

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎television

inside job, breaking bad, scott pilgrim takes off, bojack horseman, south park, rick and morty, murder drones, young sheldon, kakegurui, supernatural

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎books

dirty heads - aaron dries, fnaf book series (all of them), bendy books ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎(all of them), marble hornets comics

‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎MUSIC

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎(beware, this is a LONG list)

mccafferty, the front bottoms, modern baseball, camping in alaska, marietta unamused dave, plainclothes, summerbruise, inconsistent, yawning, coping, the clippers, ashtray, pavement, foo fighters, sign crushes motorist, alex g, whirr, glare, blue smiley, slowdive, lsd and ‎‏‏‎the search for god, the white stripes, muse, weezer, car seat ‎headrest, title fight, deftones, eyedress, tv girl, arctic monkeys, mindless self indulgence, ayesha erotica, insane ‎‏‏clown posse, lemon demon, jukebox the ghost, will wood (and the ‎‏‏‎tapeworms), tally hall, miracle musical, that handsome devil, the ‎‏‏‎paper chase, the nighty nite, mook, animal collective, the dresden dolls, destroy boys, glass animals, stolen babies, stomach book, my ‎chemical romance, falling in reverse, escape the fate, three days grace, fall out boy, get scared, rob zombie, korn, slipknot, scars on broadway, soad, the 69 eyes, nine inch nails, millionares, brokencyde, ‎pierce the veil, ghost town, 3oh!3, radiohead, the cure, jack off jill, early ‎‏‏p!atd, tyler the creator, the left rights

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎my tiktok

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎my main spotify playlist

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎my pinterest

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎my spacehey

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!! CREDITS TO @snailspng AND @saradika FOR THE BORDERS !! ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ !! thanks 2 my best friend @sir-twix-the-3d for the idea !!

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎LAST UPDATED 8/7/24

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next-autopsy · 1 year ago

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A/N: Well, hi there! Ten chapters already! Woohoo! Thank you to everyone who had read, liked, rebloged or left a comment! I appreciate each and every one 💕

I don't want to disregard Birdie's feelings about Harriet but I need to progress the story along so that's what this chapter is. Birdie still carries some guilt and most definitely does not cope in a healthy way.... but who does???

Based on the actors portrayal/hbo show and written with no disrespect to the real life veterans. Also all images found on Pinterest.

TW: Mentions of assault, emotions (tears are shed)......

Made of Glass

Chapter ten: Nickname Basis

When dinner rolled around, Birdie had begun to perk up. She spent most of the day sulking and then wondering why the guys were treating her differently. She came to the conclusion that it was her attitude, they were all being delicate with her because she was acting like a moody teenager, stomping everywhere she went and zoning out when people talked to her.

It registered that she would be going to war and losing a lot of the friends she was making in Camp Toccoa and that made her realise how childish she was being. She soothed herself by reasoning that, at the very least, Harriet was going to live through this war, her discharge was keeping her from a bullet on the front lines.

Bernadette bottled up the guilt she felt and pushed it to the back of her mind, she would have to get used to doing this after they were deployed. There would be no time to mourn or grieve while actively fighting the enemy.

Sobel hadn't spoken directly to her that day, she noticed he purposefully stepped around her or veered from looking in her direction and she supposed it was his way of giving her a break or sympathizing.

She had almost missed him yelling at her.

Almost.

It seemed Colonel Sink had been dishing out promotions that day, Birdie noticed Sobel's shiny new Captain bars when he presented her Corporal chevrons in the mess hall that evening. She also noticed Winters had earned the position of first lieutenant and weirdly enough, a spot in the kitchen.

Dick watched Birdie receive the patch and give a genuine smile for the first time that day. Once the new Captain left her side, Richard found himself wandering over to the Mississippian.

“Corporal Coldwell.... It suits you. Congratulations.” He had heard Nixon gossiping about the girl all day. Rumours of her speaking up and advising Colonel Sink had made their way around the mill and of course Lewis was spreading it to anyone who would listen, like a housewife with nothing better to do.

“That's exactly what Sink said... You been in cahoots, sir?” Bernadette tossed him a sly look paired with a smile, “And shouldn't I be congratulatin' you, First Lieutenant Winters?”

Richard smiled at her comment before leaning in a little closer, she caught on to the fact that whatever he was about to tell her was secret by nature and leaned in too.

“Someone came forward.” It was whispered, Dick didn’t want any of the men over hearing. Nixon had informed him as the two walked in solitude to the mess hall, one of the men involved had gone to Sink directly and signed a statement admitting what had happened.

It clarified who was involved and how they had planned the assault for that night especially because Bernadette was meant to be on duty. Richard wouldn’t share that part with her though.

Birdie let the words churn in her head for a second before they became clear. The implication of all four men being caught because of one's admittance was the only coherent thought Bernadette had. Her wide russet eyes found Winters icy blue ones and he nodded as if to confirm her theory.

“Be proud of yourself, Bernadette.”

“It's Birdie.” She replied absent mindedly, her focus was on the new information regarding the punishment of Harriet's attackers, but she did recognise the subtle favoritism the lieutenant was showing her. It deemed them friendly enough to share nicknames and drop some formalities.

“Birdie.” Winters tested out the nickname before departing, finding his place in the back room of the mess hall. Sobel had strongly suggested spaghetti for lunch the next day and Dick overseeing kitchen organization for the next two weeks. So, he had begun counting tins of tomatoes to keep his mind busy and away from the obvious show of authority Sobel had shoved in his face. Richard huffed to himself thinking about the COs evident superiority complex.

“Ya know how to sew those on proper?” Bill broke the girl out of her trance as she traced the outline of the thick fabric patches. She nodded and joined him at the table their growing group had unofficially claimed. They all watched tentatively, unsure if her small smile was an invitation to talk to her or if Birdie would continue to disregard them.

She didn't. It may have taken a minute, but Bernadette was smiling and adding remarks to the conversation, slowly letting her sunny personality warm up and shine through.

Every man at the table noticed the change but no one dared to make a comment in case she shut off the light and clamed back up.

“Congrats, Little Bird.” Bill spoke to her softly after a few moments. Guarnere's sincerity seeped out of his tone and echoed in the look he gave her. It was a quiet moment shared only between the two, sincere and delicate.

“Thanks... Syphilis.” She smirked at him, enjoying the face he pulled, breaking the moment of genuine fondness and she laughed at the playful eye roll he sent her.

By the time she had finished eating, she was ready to retire to her beloved cot and sleep the night away. Bernadette scanned the room, but she couldn't find Sergeant Lipton anywhere.

“He went to the toilet.... Here, I'll walk you back.” Johnny Martin offered up, he had witnessed the girl searching the room for her escort and figured she was ready to get away from the testosterone and back to the safety of the women's barracks.

Birdie was about to wave him off with some nonchalant comment stating she could walk by herself but the chilling thought of the uncaught men still wandering about made her rethink. The sun was going down, it would only be getting darker, and she didn't really want to be alone right now, so she agreed and the two exited the mess hall together.

The evening air was cool, and the camp was quiet, its occupants winding down and getting ready to welcome the night. Johnny hadn't struck her as a conversationalist, so when he spoke up, she was mildly surprised.

“Why are you taking it so personal, kid?” He paused, “It wasn't your fault, ya know?” He was referring to Harriet.

He had seen her emotions on her face all day and took note of the way the guys had ignored them. Martin wanted to let her know someone cared enough to say something.

But in her mind, he didn't know what she knew, and it killed her inside. If he knew the truth, he wouldn't be trying to comfort her or telling her not to blame herself.

“It was. It was my fault.” Birdie's voice was sharp but held no malice, only sadness and bitter disappointment. She truly believed it.

“Just cause she took your shift?” Johnny was trying to get her to understand that what had happened was circumstantial and she shouldn't blame herself so much.

“It's not just that...” Her voice was whispered, and she looked down shamefully, there was more to the story and Johnny was curious.

“Did something else happen?” He feared he already knew the answer, but he had to hear it from her.

Bernadette sucked in a shaky breath and told him everything.

She told him how those men had approached her. How they scared her and how she froze in fear, allowing them to get close to her. She told him how he had whispered a threat to her and how she covered it up and told no one until now. She admitted how guilty she was feeling and explained that if she had spoken up and said something to someone maybe Harriet wouldn't be recovering in a hospital bed miles away from them.

Johnny listened patiently to her every word; he didn't interrupt her. He had a feeling she needed to get all of this out and he would gladly stand there and hear it all if it meant she might feel a bit better.

By the end of her rant, she was nearly in tears. Her eyes were filled to the brim and her bottom lip wobbled.

Martin reached out and pulled her frame towards his, he embraced her in silence, arms encircling her upper body. He felt the moment she realised what was happening and curled into his hug, her arms wrapped around his waist and her fingers tightened on the back of his jacket.

Bernadette willed herself not to cry but the watery tears slipped down her face anyway. She sniffled, attempting to regain composure but made no move to release her grip on the man holding onto her.

Johnny would have stood there forever if she'd needed him to, but a few minutes into their touching moment and she was pulling away, swiping her sleeves against her face to remove any hint of the emotions she could not control.

He waited for Birdie to be calm enough to continue their stroll back to her barracks and he let her lead the way, staying by her side and mulling in the quiet.

“I'll be here at 05:50. Walk you to breakfast.” He informed her once they arrived at the steps leading to her sleeping quarters. She nodded, hopping up the wooden stairs and reaching for the door handle.

Martin watched her, making sure she was safe inside the building before he turned and made his way to his own.

A/N: Hope y'all liked this one!

~ next-autopsy ~

Chapter eleven

#band of brothers #easy company #hbo war #band of brothers fanfic #fem oc #oc #made of glass #made of glass chapter ten #next autopsy #first fanfic #richard winters #bill guarnere #johnny martin

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spiderlovergirl · 4 months ago

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Hi! I hope you’re doing well.

Questions for you from the writing ask game you reblogged <3

❥ What is a story you’ve had stuck in your head, but have yet to start writing?

❥ Which character of your current WIP is your favorite? What do you love most about them?

Thank you for the ask!!

❥ I’ve been thinking for a long time about a Camping AU Spider-Man (2002) fic where Norman Osborn (and thus Green Goblin, too), Otto Octavius, and probably also Harry Osborn and Peter Parker go camping for whatever reason. Originally it was because Norman had never gone camping and the other characters were trying to convince him to try it. Now it’s morphed into a more angsty fic where Norman’s life kinda fell apart and he has not had much contact with Otto or Harry (mostly his own fault) and Otto reunites with him and suggests that he, Norman, and Harry go camping to try to heal their relationships with each other. I’m still thinking about writing it, and maybe I will, but I’m not entirely sure.

❥ I have two WIPs technically. One of them is a post-Spider-Man: No Way Home fic where the Goblin cure didn’t work so Goblin can still take control. Norman and Otto (who are in love) work together to make a new cure. My favorite character in that fic is Norman, not only because he’s my favorite character, but also because I think I started writing that fic to project onto Norman to help cope with my own mental health problems at the time.

The other WIP I have is a story where the Green Goblin (who’s not evil and murderous) is given control of Norman’s body for longer periods of time, and gets to experience what life is like. I think in that one, my favorite character is either Goblin because it’s fun to try to write about stuff as if you’ve never experienced it before and also Goblin is generally fun to write, or my OC Cara (who becomes Goblin’s girlfriend) because I’m loving writing a female character who needs to be as chaotic as Goblin is. The more I think about her character the more I love her.

Thanks so much for the ask!

#fanfiction #norman osborn #green goblin #spider man #otto octavius #harry osborn #peter parker #asks #writing asks #ask game

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x-files-polls · 21 days ago

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Homeless Man: He had one line and he KILLED IT! The camp! The gravitas! The pizzazz! A+ line delivery

youtube

David "Winky" Winkle: "Now that's a dumbass!"

Don't like this propaganda? Reblog it with your own or send some in my askbox

To jog your memory, here are the episodes they're from:

Home Again: Scully returns home to cope with a personal tragedy leaving Mulder to solve a homicide that doesn't seem to have been committed by human hands.

Lord of the Flies: Scully, Doggett and Reyes investigate when a teenager dies while performing a daredevil feat for a television show, but his death is soon revealed to be caused by a disturbing family secret.

#the x files #the x-files #txf #polls #lord of the flies #home again #aaron paul #james r. baylis #james r baylis #david winky winkle #homeless man #the band aid man #s9 e5 #s10 e4 #oneoff tournament #oneoff round 1 #Youtube

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camp-counselor-life · 1 year ago

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#camp counselor #working at camp #polls

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robinsnest2111 · 2 years ago

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Hey everyone.

I have thought about this situation for 4 months at this point, have listened to lots of opinions, talked to lots of people (in and out of fandom spaces), and have finally come to some kind of conclusion for myself.

It's gonna be a long one and I don't want to clog up anyone's dash, so

To reiterate: I do understand where the concerned messages were coming from. The last thing I want to do is cause anyone harm. I also understand the subject matter is quite touchy, polarising and controversial (being German and having been educated about the horrendous ideology and crimes of Hitler and the Nazis since I was old enough to understand).

I've been part of the Hogan's Heroes fandom for almost 5 years ever since I watched two episodes on German afternoon TV, have reblogged dozens of posts and shared my own fan creations without anyone finding any fault with it, up until I reblogged a particular piece of fan art in January and received the first couple asks. This, among other things, has caused me great confusion and has made me question my entire thought process, mental framework, moral compass, and existence as a human being on this earth.

I've been in a therapy program for other reasons since mid-March and have discovered that the, as I had previously believed, unrelated reasons play into the current situation A LOT.

[boring mental health ramble ahead]

I have discovered I am still very much a serious people pleaser, do not have proper boundaries, do not value myself as highly as I do everyone around me, have no clear sense of self, am extremely afraid of hurting people without meaning to, being a nuisance and causing displeasure of any kind or giving any reason for confrontation.

Which is why I am also afraid of making mistakes (real or perceived) due to past (and current) experiences. Harmful mistakes, simple inconsequential oopsies, small disagreements and differences in opinion seem to all be on the same level of severity in my brain when pointed out to me. I was punished and reprimanded for all of them the exact same way for all of my childhood and adolescence.

It's high time I learn the difference and no longer take every single thing to heart and punish myself as severely as my parents did, stop frantically erasing every instance of my "wrongdoings" to appease everyone and prevent potential future harm, and not isolate myself from the rest of the world in a twisted attempt at protecting people I care a lot about from the useless horrible unlovable harmful monster that I feel I am in these situations. I cannot punish myself into making less mistakes or being better.

I also need to work on exploring and setting reasonable boundaries to take proper care of myself and my mind. I now know being a people pleaser and diminishing myself, always conforming to what others expect of me, always aiming for being perfectly fault/mistake-free 100% of the time, always taking the path of the least resistance, hiding behind a pleasant mask, constantly bowing to everyone else's will, have served me well in the past. These coping strategies protected me when I was weak and confused and hurting and defenseless. I'm an adult now. But I still tend to fall back into these familiar patterns in times of stress and moments of confrontation. I need to do better. For myself and others. Even if that means not being nice and bland and palatable for every single person on this planet.

[boring mental health ramble end]

Which is why I want to set an important boundary to improve my online experience.

In my opinion: FICTION =/= REALITY

Finding joy in a silly American 1960s comedy show (with an even more tame and hilarious German dub) set in a POW camp in 40s Germany and featuring fictional nazi characters, most of which are portrayed as not agreeing with the system they're serving under, even aiding the efforts of Hogan and his team of allied spies sabotaging the German war effort, but playing along to stay under the radar, are always the butt of the joke and end up as losers at the end of each episode

IS NOT THE SAME AS

glorifying, celebrating or supporting real life (neo)nazis and their awful goals and deeds.

I fully understand seeing such characters without any context is jarring and uncomfortable and, in some cases, triggering.

This is why I want to point out I have a decent tagging system in place. Before panic-deleting, I've used both "hogan's heroes" and "ein käfig voller helden" on relevant posts. I'm sure both can easily be muted on desktop and on mobile.

I am also offering to add extra tags for people who'd like to keep following me but do not want to see anything relating to this fandom (in case I feel comfortable to rejoin/participate again at some point) or fictional nazis on their dash. Send me an ask with what term(s) you'd like me to use and I will make it happen, no questions asked.

If that is not enough, I will have to kindly point out the Unfollow and Block buttons.

I want everyone's online experience to be as enjoyable and pleasant as possible but I finally need to extend that same courtesy to myself.

To be perfectly honest, there's still the petrifying fear that voicing my thoughts and decisions will make me lose people I care about but this has to be done, for my mental wellbeing. Because that's what's most important at the end of the day.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

#i've worked on sorting my thoughts on this for weeks and spent several hours writing this text #i hope this'll be the end of it. i'm tired and need energy to focus on other things #it's difficult to voice my opinion like this but it needs to be done. i'm sick of being afraid to the point of physical sickness #the human brain is a difficult beast

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fearowkenya · 1 year ago

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im about to reblog some stuff and youre gonna be like mattie what the fuck are you okay, and the answer is

ok listen, camp was really tough this year and sometimes to Cope you must go back to your middle school interests and read 18 warrior cats books in 10 days

#mattie chatters

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h3ntai-queen · 2 years ago

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Just checking in and sending good vibes. Hope you and the roomies are doing well. I always appreciate the good porn you reblog when you’ve got the time and the stories you share about getting your holes filled. Summer time should mean more opportunities for sex outside!

Thank you :)

I have disappeared for a little while and I'm sorry about that. There were lots of personal issues and one of my roommates moved away. We had a hard time saying goodbye and coping with him being far away now.

We will definitely go camping this summer and have lots of time to have fun in nature :)

#storytime #ask me stuff

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thegayhimbo · 1 year ago

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Stranger Things Runaway Max Review (1/3)

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Synopsis: Witness the events of season 2 from Max's perspective as she recounts her past in San Diego, her relationships with Neil, Billy, and Susan, her subsequent move to Hawkins, and her meeting with the Party as Lucas invites her on an adventure that will change her life forever.

Observations:

For a book that's short and easy to read (only 231 pages), this was rough to get through. Not because it's badly written (if anything, it's arguably one of the BEST Tie-In novels for Stranger Things), but because this book delves into hard topics like abuse, depression, and isolation, and does not sugarcoat any of it. While Max never had a perfect life in California, the moment Neil and Billy came into the picture is the moment things went sideways for her. There were parts of this book that were distressing, and the way Max's story plays out in season 4 makes a lot of what happens here look harsher in hindsight.

I've said before in previous reviews that the supplementary material works better when it helps enhance the story and mythology of the show. To the book's credit, it manages to do that effectively. While it does retell parts of season 2 from Max's perspective, it gives the audience more context about her past, the circumstances behind Billy and Neil coming into her life, how she views each of the characters she encounters, and it allows the audience the opportunity to get to know Max better.

Part 1: Max And Her Monsters:

In my Creature Feature review, I mentioned Max had a love for horror movies similar to Will, and that Halloween was her favorite holiday:

She even goes on record stating Michael Myers is the horror movie monster that scares her the most, and therefore fascinates her:

There's a dark irony in how Max's fear of Michael parallels her later fear of Vecna: Both of them are serial killers, both of them are mentally disturbed, both of them are strong and will do everything to hunt their targets down, both of them cause collateral damage in their rampages, both of them take heavy injuries and still manage to keep pushing forward, and both of them act as an unstoppable force of terror. The big difference is while Michael is portrayed as a physical threat, Vecna acts more as a supernatural AND psychological threat who can bring your worst insecurities and memories to the surface in order to drive you to despair before he consumes you.

Max had an interest in horror/slasher movies, and then her life became one. Poor girl can't catch a break. 😞

Her love of horror movies predates Vecna and Billy, but there is something to be said about her fixation on monsters, and how she talks about them in context of her situation: In order for her to deal with monsters, she either needs to understand them and their mindset, or she needs to find some way to keep the monsters close to her so that she'll never be caught off-guard by them. There are several instances where she refers to Billy and Neil in this manner because of the abuse they inflict on her, and she desperately tries to understand their behavior as a means of coping with them:

Anyone who's ever been in an abusive situation can relate to what Max is going through. She's forced to live with Billy and Neil despite not wanting to, she feels like no one (including her mom) is stepping in to make things better, and she initially thinks the only option is to weather the storm. She wants to "understand" how her monsters operate and keep them focused on her as a means of protecting others from getting caught in the crosshairs.

In a way, it's similar to her situation with Vecna in season 4. Despite Lucas's suggestion that they go back to Ms. Kelly's office to see if Vecna's targeted other kids, Max refuses because she believes she understands how Vecna works, and would have a better chance of dealing with him compared to a unprepared stranger going up against Vecna:

Max (to Lucas): We don't have time for any of that, okay? And even if we did, even if your plan did work, we'd be putting a total stranger at risk. A stranger who has no idea what they're up against. I do. He uses my memories against me. But… only my darkest memories. Same with Chrissy and Fred, right? It's like he only sees the darkness in us. So, I'll just run in the opposite direction. Run to the light. And maybe he won't be able to find me there.

Lucas: Now, how exactly do you plan on doing this?

Max: I'm not sure. But it's my mind. Not his, right? So I should be able to control where I am. I just need to… push him away. Find a happy memory and hide there. Hide in the light.

Max's arc has not only been about dealing with her "monsters," but also allowing others to help her and realizing she doesn't have to fight them alone. It's a new concept for her because most of her life has been her believing things would only get worse, and that no one would step in on her behalf. Given how her mom was complicit in letting Neil and Billy railroad their lives, it's understandable why she's hardened herself and adopted a cynical outlook. After Billy drives away Max's friends in San Diego and breaks the arm of her best friend Nate to create a wedge between them, Max loses hope that her living situation will improve, and decides she'd rather have Billy's rage directed at her instead of seeing others close to her continue to get hurt. The result is she becomes isolated, just like Billy wanted.

However, in spite of appearing closed off on the surface, people continue to reach out to her once she moves to Hawkins. Dustin and Lucas invite her to go Trick-or-Treating with them, and despite Billy later trying to run them off the road with his car, they still want her to be a part of their group. There's even a brief scene in the book (which should have been on the show) where Max gets injured while skateboarding outside of the store Joyce works at, and Joyce comes to see if she's okay. Max is surprised by this because it's one of the few times she's seen someone express any genuine concern for her:

Later on, Lucas is ultimately the one who opens up to her about everything related to El and the Upside Down, takes her to the junkyard to show her proof of their story, listens to what she's been going through while reassuring her that she's still a good person, and takes the time to get to know her. And as Max sees from everyone else in the Party, despite their arguments and differences, they do care about each other and will fight for one another when the going gets tough. Lucas himself shows he's willing to fight for Max despite how scary and awful Billy is, and despite how standoffish Max initially presented herself. She's never truly had someone do that for her before, and witnessing that is what finally allows her to stand up to Billy at the end of the book and save Steve's life in the process:

And come season 4, they show up for her: The moment everyone realized Max was next on Vecna's kill list is the moment they sprang into action to protect her to the best of their ability while attempting to take Vecna down.

There was an interview where the Duffer Brothers admitted they originally planned to kill off Max at the end of season 4 before changing their minds. I know there are people in this fandom who complain about certain characters having plot-armor (and I could do an entire separate post about how that term gets thrown around willy-nilly these days), but in Max's case, I'm glad they didn't go through with it. For a character who's an abuse survivor and has endured repeated trauma in the hopes that thing would eventually get better, killing Max off like that would have been a mean-spirited way to end her story. It also would have made her entire arc pointless and nihilistic. At least here, there's the possibility of Max returning from the brink.

In both my reviews of The Other Side and Erica The Great, I've talked about how it's likely Max's consciousness has been assimilated into Vecna following the battle at the Creel House, which is why her mind is blank when El tries to communicate with her at the end of season 4. Based on that, Max's arc may be about maintaining her individuality from within Vecna as a means of continuing to resist him, and eventually finding a way to break free from his control and regain her sense of self. Thematically, it would also serve as a satisfying conclusion where she's no longer defined by her trauma or the monsters in her life who have repeatedly dragged her down (Billy, Neil, Vecna). She can finally have an identity and life outside of that.

Of course, there's also the fact that even if her consciousness escapes Vecna's control, she'll still be returning to a broken body, with the very real possibility of being blind and crippled for the rest of her life. I'd actually be interested in seeing that as opposed to the Duffer Brothers coming up with some Deus Ex Machina to magically fix Max's body and make her whole again. Scars and injuries of that extent don't fully heal in real life, and even though Stranger Things isn't a show grounded in reality, it would be nice if they could show a character that's become disabled who's still able to find a way to adjust to her situation, live fully, and gain some semblance of peace within herself.

Part 2: Max And Her Friends

Part of the brilliance of the book is we get a lot more insight into Max's thought regarding certain characters and what she thinks of them, which helps shed more light on how she relates to them on the show.

Take her relationship with Mike for instance: She is (rightfully) not impressed by how he keeps trying to exclude her from the group and shows her nothing but hostility. I know Mike's gotten flak for this from fans, and while his behavior isn't entirely excusable, there is at least context for how he acts here: To him, Max is a stranger who has no idea about El or the Upside Down, and he's not entirely sure he can trust her with that information. On top of that, he worries about Max becoming a replacement for El after her disappearance. It's not a rational way to think, but there is an emotional component to this that Max understands:

Couple of things to note here:

1.) Max is consciously making a choice to be better than Billy. She sees Mike in a rare moment of vulnerability, and even though it would be easy for her to be snide and mean towards him, she instead chooses to be empathetic. That may not seem like a big deal, but I can say from personal experience that I've encountered people (both online and off it) who act like sharks the moment they smell blood in the water. Show any kind of vulnerability or weakness, and they become the most condescending, belittling, self-righteous person you can imagine. For whatever reason, they get some kind of smug superiority in tearing others down to elevate themselves. I've been on the receiving end of that one too many times, and I have nothing but contempt for people who act like that. They are devoid of empathy, and are unkind to others when it is convenient for them. I will always have more respect for those who show compassion towards the vulnerable over those who tear them down.

2.) For as much as Mike and Max are at odds with one another on the show, they have many similarities: They're both headstrong, with a take-charge attitude. They both have issues conveying their emotions in a way that doesn't make them appear moody or hostile to others. And they both care deeply for those they love.

For as much as Max acts emotionally distant on the surface, she wants to have friends and belong somewhere. She wants to be Mike's friend despite how he initially treats her. It's why she continues reaching out to Mike, and even suggests becoming the Zoomer of their Party while roller-skating around him to make him laugh.

It's also why she jumps at the opportunity to get to know El better in season 3 when she takes her shopping and introduces her to other aspects she hasn't experienced yet, like the mall and Wonder Woman comics and sleepovers and so on.

Side Note: In recent years, I've gained a new appreciation for the El/Max scenes in season 3, especially with how important they were in briefly helping Max break free of Vecna in season 4. It's also the first time Max has ever had a friend who's a girl, and she intended to make the most of that during her time with El.

We don't really get much interactions between Will and Max in the book, but I love how she called out the stupidity of Will's nickname "Zombie Boy," and notes that someone who allegedly came back from the dead is not the kind of person you'd want to bully:

She also notes the difference between Lucas and Dustin in how they talk to her, which gives more context for why she ultimately ends up with Lucas by the end of the book:

I like Dustin, but I'm in the crowd that believes Lucas and Max make a better couple, and that Dustin and Max work better as friends. Lucas is the one who listens to her and allows her to be vulnerable in a way where she feels safe and not judged.

He's also the person who (aside from Steve) Max felt protected by. She can be around Lucas without worrying about whether or not he'll abandon her:

Speaking of Steve, I know it's a common perception in the fandom that he's the "big brother figure" Max wishes Billy had been, and this book leans heavily on that interpretation. Unlike other adults, Steve isn't condescending to Max, goes out of his way to treat her as one of the group despite only knowing her for a few hours, and later protects her from the demodogs when she's in danger:

That's probably the first time someone's really stepped up for her like that, and she repays him later by saving Steve from Billy.

Finally, there's this little bit regarding Max's thoughts about Nancy:

It's refreshing to see the breaking down of stereotypes here, and the idea that women have to channel male qualities in order to be "badass" or taken seriously. Nancy is able to be her own person, in her fear, bravery, and determination, without having to emulate Hopper or Steve or any of the other male characters in the room, and Max realizes she can be as well. I would even argue Max channels Nancy when she's later holding Steve's spiked bat over Billy:

She managed to emulate both Steve in his protectiveness towards others, and Nancy in her fierceness, and it's an empowering moment for her.

To be continued in Part 2.........

#stranger things #max mayfield #stranger things runaway max #lucas sinclair #lumax #anti billy hargrove #neil hargrove #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #dustin henderson #joyce byers #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #tgh opinions #tgh reviews #the duffer brothers

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