#REALLY IMPORTANT INFO

[traumatizedjaguar]

So what I learned about myself by researching these topics about abuse, collected from experts and therapists who work with complex trauma patients:

Betrayal Trauma is the name of what I went through in my household

Scapegoats are often betrayed by parents and I fit the scapegoat role

Scapegoats are often “truth tellers” and fight the family narrative

Scapegoats can be betrayed by one family member OR they can be betrayed by the whole family in which the family narrative is “we are all okay and right, and you (the scapegoat) is the crazy/wrong one.”

Scapegoats often have DARVO used against them (when the abusers in the family call the scapegoat the abuser, and the real abusers/parents call themselves the victims)

Scapegoat may feel betrayed, rejected, shamed, become a people pleaser, overly forgiving, may avoid relationships and end up isolating yourself from others

Some become dependent on the abusive family as an adult, slow to get ahead in life

Toxic shame is not just feeling ashamed, but YOU ARE shame (not really true, your brain lies to you). You think You Are Shame walking around on 2 legs. (How I feel and doing my research I understand it’s the trauma brain talking but I genuinely believe the lies). “I feel humiliated when I speak in front of others” “I feel humiliated for existing and taking space”

You could have had a fight response, challenge the abusers distorted, twisted view of reality. It causes exhaustion from challenging the family false narrative growing up. You may identify with being the “fighter.”

Family Systems expert Rebecca C. Mandeville explains adult survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) are impacted by Betrayal Trauma. She also explains the consequences of being rejected, shamed, and blamed by the people who were supposed to love and care for you the most.

Dr. Erin Watson’s article: The Duel Layers of Betrayal Trauma for Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse.

[plasterhound]

i think juni+zwolf REALLY like wasps

[voidwashere]

ok so when people are searching for emojis does everyone like make the face of the emoji you’re looking for irl or is that just a me thing

[zeebuoy]

Yoooo thanks a million.

Will try to keep this in mind once I get the time

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[mandageban]

Maybe I should get diagnosed already

When a person with ADHD complains of severe anxiety, I recommend that the clinician not immediately accept the patient’s label for her emotional experience. A clinician should say, “Tell me more about your baseless, apprehensive fear,” which is the definition of anxiety. More times than not, a person with ADHD hyperarousal will give a quizzical look and respond, “I never said I was afraid.” If the patient can drop the label long enough to describe what the feeling is like, a clinician will likely hear, “I am always tense; I can’t relax enough to sit and watch a movie or TV program. I always feel like I have to go do something.” The patients are describing the inner experience of hyperactivity when it is not being expressed physically.

At the same time, people with ADHD also have fears that are based on real events in their lives. People with ADHD nervous systems are consistently inconsistent. The person is never sure that her abilities and intellect will show up when they are needed. Not being able to measure up at the job or at school, or in social circles is humiliating. It is understandable that people with ADHD live with persistent fear. These fears are real, so they do not indicate an anxiety disorder.

holy SHIT

[traumatizedjaguar]

To pick apart someone’s words to try to “catch them in a lie” or hold it against them is absurdly fucking manipulative. You’re not being perceptive, you’re just stroking your ego and being manipulative. There’s a huge difference with someone just trying to honestly explain a situation or how they feel or explaining something traumatic, you don’t get to pick them apart for their word choices, or mistakes in explanation, or their tone of voice, or their reaction being “too dramatic” or “not emotional enough” or that some of us can be quite incoherent in our speech and writing sometimes due to mental illness and to pick us apart for that is disgusting and manipulative.

[maceration-smell]

A message from conservationists, please don't buy taxidermy bats or bat skeletons.

[holycrimin]

Making Sense Of Shermie's Age

Ok so you know how the whole fandom is like boggling their minds over Shermie's age?

well atleast from what I've seen lol

Let's say that when Stan gets kicked out, he's arund 17-19 (we're going with 17 for this one), and with Shermie being just a wee baby in A Tale Of Two Stans, it's a little problematic when realising his age when he had a kid

but since both the twins (Stan and Ford) are "pushing 70" that would mean they're around their mid-to-late 60's

And if we were to assume that Stan was 17 when he got kicked out, and once again assuming that the twins are 65 at their youngest, then that would make Shermie 48.

If both generations had their kids at 18, then that'd make sense with the timeline, but that's assuming that's the twins at their youngest

If it were 19 and 69, Shermie would be 50

Making either one generation have kids at 20 while one has one at 18, or both generations having kids at 19

At worst,

19 and 65, Shermie would be 46.

Which would make both generations 17 when they had kid/s

anyway thats it, thanks for reading my hopefully comprehensible ramblings about Shermie's age LMAOO

[crazycookiemaniac]

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* Prices may vary according to complexity

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[bubblellop]

I know im reusing graphs but shhhh

Hi so UM im not usually someone that puts my personal life out there like at all (which is an amazing feat considering im the oversharer) but I do feel the need to justify my ebegging LMAO

I am back to living with my parents which has been great in comparison to my previous living situation! But now three weeks ago everything took a sudden NOSEDIVE as we tried piecing together why my parent was having a rapid physical and mental decline. Watching someone close to you so suddenly being unable to walk, talk or remember anything in the span of 4 days is a bad experience 1/10 do not recommend !

Thankfully the route we took to get him help has saved us from a lot of medical bills (we think.) but we still lived basically paycheck to paycheck and with my own savings, and now neither of my parents are working, I am unable to work due to transport and disability rn, and money for transportation to and from the hospital, food and house bills is now running really low... so I'd really appreciate any help.

If you are interested in getting some fun art of whatever you want then here's some extra info + examples, and you can order through artistree or kofi!!!! I also have a membership on kofi which i was planning on going full in this year but um ^^ kinda hard to do that rn. but you also get art monthly with that, so worth mentioning.

Thanks for reading and please reblog if you can <333 I'll try to get commissions out fast when possible, ty!

[a-fucking-tornado]

Guess who my English oral presentation is going to be about~ ✨

[potatobugz]

here are a bunch of doodles i did during the process of writing tptbu chapter 2 <|:)

[shitpostingkats]

The Yusei-orders-milk-at-a-bar scene is great because no matter whether you're watching sub or dub the entire thing is impeccable.

Sub: Yusei goes to a bar looking to recruit the help of a hardened criminal. However, his complete disregard for things like "reading the room" or "basic expected behaviors" means he walks into a bar, orders a glass of milk (because he likes milk), downs it in one go, and then asks after the man he's looking for.

Dub: Yusei has been especially instructed to go to this bar and order a glass of milk, which will signal to the barkeep that he wants to be put in contact with this man. Yusei does this. Then, having this glass of milk, that he is under no obligation to drink, downs it in one go.

[diana-bluewolf]

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

Dear Chris,

It has come to my attention that we both possess wands with the same wood and core. This information has sparked my interest in conducting my pending research on 'Priori Incantatem'.

I was wondering if you'd be interested in engaging in a duel with me, so that I can gather more data for my research.

Let me know what you think.

— Val

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

Hi Val,

You’ve intrigued me about the topic since I’ve never heard of the Priori Incantatem effect before. I was helping Mr Olivander out this weekend, as usual, so I could ask him about it. Quite a fascinating subject. How did you get to know about it?

I came to the conclusion that, even though I would like to witness that phenomenon, I don’t think we will be lucky enough.

It is very rare and occurs only when two wands that have magical cores deriving from the same source (in our case, from the same dragon) are used against each other. As you can see, we can ignore the similarity of the wood material of our wands. But the chances of them having the heartstrings of the same dragon are very slim, too. 

Wandmakers are aware of the effect and take a range of precautions to minimise it. But even if we don’t take this into account, Mr Olivander aims to craft unique wands that fit a wide variety of people, so he generally avoids using identical source material. Even if he does, it might be decades that separate the initial making of a wand from the time it chooses a person it wishes to bond with, which reduces the chances for twin wands to meet.

Imagine how many Hogwarts students buy their wands from Olivander, who primarily uses only three types of wand cores. Still, Crossed Wands or just duels within DADA lessons operate without surprises like that. I don’t see how we can be an exception. 

That being said, if you just want to knock some sense into me, you don’t need to find an excuse to duel me. I will be waiting for you near the Black Lake today after the classes. 

Chris

P.S. Bring the blueberry tarts.

P.S.S. Ugh, “please”?

[batwynn]

Hello! You may know me as Batwynn or Brahn from around the internets. I’ve created this Kofi fund for a friend who is in a really bad situation with their parents and must remain anonymous for their safety. Right now, their most urgent need is to get their emotional support cat and best friend to the vet. It is VERY urgent as the cat is passing some blood in her urine. EVERY donation will receive a free art from me, but you must come give me your request info via Tumblr, Instagram, twitter, etc! More info: They need funds both to get to the vet and for blood work, urine tests, and the general vet fees. The next goal will be to get them both out of the unsafe environment they are currently trapped in with their parents. Any additional donations will go directly towards moving out asap.

Important note: Some of you might know who this is for as we share a fandom, but please be aware that they need to remain anonymous for their safety and to make sure any funds they receive aren't stolen by their abusers.

As always, every little bit helps! I will keep everyone updated here and on Kofi, and please don't hesitate to message me with your donation art request! If you are unable to donate, please signal boost this as much as possible! You never know who could see it and make a HUGE difference for them!