#REAL FEELINGS

[dumblr]

A soul-to-soul connection is worth the wait. Your soulmate will recognize you, befriend you and love you. They will be your best friend, lover and safe space. They will grow with you mentally, emotionally and physically. They will want to evolve with you in every dimension & level up.

[cb-writes-stuff]

HEAVY ISAT SPOILERS. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SPOILER TAGS FILTERED BUT DON’T WANT TO GET SPOILED, DO NOT GO PAST THE CUT.

Anyway. Let’s talk about Isabeau. And my feelings.

(Come on, you can’t expect me to play ISAT and not talk about my feelings.)

(This is not a silly post. All my other ISAT liveblogging posts have been silly, but this one is not. Not even slightly. If you’re only here for silly stuff, then you’re not here for this. But hey, you should read it anyway. You don’t have to like or reblog or anything. Sometimes it’s worth getting another perspective.)

Still here? Hmm. Maybe you do have tags filtered, and you wanted to see what this was about anyway? Hmm. I’ll make the least important words colored, juuuust in case.

I’m doing Isabeau’s help, and he talks about who he was before Changing. Smart, nerdy, always has the right answers, always gets good grades, can’t make friends on the playground, can’t even ask for a pen from a classmate, all that. And I was reading it, and I could really relate. That sounded a lot like me when I was younger. Not the braids part, though. But that’s not the point. It still kinda sounds like me. I have friends, and they’re great, but I can’t meet anyone new. Can’t befriend anyone new. I’ve tried a few times to go ask a place if they were hiring, and I just… couldn’t. I wasn’t paralyzed, but… I was so terrified of approaching anyone. So I just kept wandering around, until I told my ride I just wanted to go home. And I felt really crappy. If I can’t do this, how am I ever gonna live my life? How am I gonna do anything beyond basic human interactions?

But… I can’t change who I am. I’d tell myself, “I’m not that person anymore, I’m not gonna get anxious, I’m gonna be able to ask.” And then I go, and I get anxious, and I can’t ask. It’s not that easy. You can’t just change who you are. Am I wrong? Genuinely, am I? And if you can, is it really worth killing your self, as Isabeau puts it? Past self or no, it’s still yours.

…Truth be told, that sounds terrifying. Ripping out the parts of me that I’m familiar with, tearing up the version of me I know. It’s much easier to stay the same. I can’t change. Neither can I Change. I don’t really have a reason to, but… Well, I guess that’s not true. But—that’s just not how it works for me. Maybe other people can change. Completely reinvent themselves. Become someone totally new, yet be who they always were. But not me. I’m not Isabeau. Sure, he might be happy, love himself, etc. And if I’m not those things, that’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll find ways to do those without changing. I have to, since changing isn’t an option. I just… can’t.

[jeepgurl71]

[mysterious-sludge]

The urge to "Create something beautiful then destroy it."

[brotatowho-blog]

The depression is hitting pretty fuckin hard as of late. I don't really know what to do about the crippling loneliness or how to handle the feeling that nobody will ever want me, or could ever view me in a romantic way. I dunno, I just feel so tired of it all really. I wish I didn't care at all, but it makes me feel so cold and empty inside, like this gnawing, clawing void in me demands my attention.

I feel like I'm at a point where I just... I'd do about anything just to get some kind of positive connection. To feel liked or loved or whatever

[kissablelips-desireslure-vol1]

KARE NO IRU SEIKATSU (2024)

SATO RYUGA (as Kazuhito)

&

SAKAI SHO (as Ryota)

[inabigworld]

at times, healing can feel scary, and the change you feel within yourself can get overwhelming. speaking from experience, that can make it feel as if you’re going backwards, not forwards. and when that happens, try not to let it discourage you. and don’t fall back into old, unhealthy patterns. i know they’re easy, and familiar, and you know what to expect. but there’s no room for growth where it’s comfortable. you’ve got this, you are good enough, you are worthy of good things, you do deserve the best that life has to offer. you are no weak, you are strong. you are built for this, and you will make it through the rainy days. the sun will come back out, and thaw out your cold bones. you just have to hang in there. you may not see a light at the end of this dark tunnel that seems to have no end, but that’s only for right now. please don’t give up on yourself, and what you want.

[bonobochick]

General Hospital ep airing December 29, 2022

Trina & Spencer’s New Year’s Eve “date” day one. ❤️‍🔥

[dasendloseweiteposts]

Uff. Konversationen nach 2 Uhr ..

[autisticautismmom]

BILLIE EILISH OMG YOUVE DONE IT AGAIM. How is one able to out do themselves with every new album she puts out.

And it seems these albums always come at a time I need them most!! I’m in complete aweh. I can’t wait to show my son birds of a feather when he’s older.

I feel a connection to billie and not in a creepy way I just feel like I relate so much to her and she says all the words I can never find. Also we have the same birthday LOL so I love that!

I also get why she named the album hit me hard and soft , the album is so soft feeling but the lyrics hit so hard

[dumblr]

You deserve someone who loves you with every single heartbeat.

Someone who thinks about you constantly.

Someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and if you're okay.

[blabbershere]

Always look on the bright side, after rain comes the sunshine.

[hello-darkn3ss]

I found my own light

When you left me in the dark

[random-little-thingsss]

People tend to ask me if I do miss my father as he lives so far

And i think, "How will I miss someone when I don't know what to miss about them, and when I don't know the feelings around them "

But all I smile and say is, "I don't know."

@random-little-thingsss

[littleprincessfawn]

He keeps making me feel things. It's hard. It's confusing. I feel safe with him. And then I question that, because of my history, my trauma, something in me whispers 'what if you're wrong about him? what if he's not a good guy?' I don't know what's real anymore.

I know he likes me as a friend. That is true, and when I'm spiralling I try to take a breath and feel the comfort of that. It is a comfort to me. It's real, our friendship is real and I do trust that.

But everything else... is he in a secret relationship or sugar daddy situation with my online friend? The thought of that possibility is absolutely breaking me. It's both something I'm trying not to think, but a dark cloud that is swirling under the currents of my mind. It makes me feel sick.

But then he's so attentive to me sometimes. He's so real with me, so thoughtful. Does that... mean something? Am I important to him? Am I nothing to him? I can't stop turning it over and over in my mind.

There's so much. It's painfully real, these feelings I'm having. And I'm not used to it. I'm not used to these real emotions. The way he treats me, contrasts with how my abusive ex treats me, it makes me want to be free, to be strong. He inspires me, he comforts me, he confuses me, he breaks my heart, he mends it, he turns me on, he makes me feel real. And he does these things all at once.

I hope one day I understand. Who he is. Who I am. What we are to one another.

[brancarm]

Brandon & Carmen -2022