#RA-4 Process

[badolmen]

You know if everyone could stop saying compliments that make me question my career path that’d be great.

[deebris]

The Mysterious Visitor 2

Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)

Synopsis: The unknown child evokes conflicting feelings in Bruce Wayne, who once again finds himself needing to deal with Talia's life problems. The girl only wanted the simple desire to see her brother again, unaware of the danger she had put herself into on her journey.

Warnings: The reader is 13 years old and is Damian's twin sister; the tone of the story is somewhat sad; Bruce is intimidating; Hugo Strange mentioned.

Word count: 2.8k

Note: I feel like maybe I could have developed a more emotional scene between Bruce and the reader, I also want to delve deeper into her thought process, but I hope to make up for that in the next part.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Alfred could finally check the exact time now that he was standing in front of Bruce's room, admiring for a few seconds the clock in the corridor's decoration, which showed 4:17 am. He prepared to knock on the door, but suddenly a thought crossed his mind: would it be more rational to wake Damian instead of his father? Throughout his life, he had faced unusual situations thanks to the Wayne family; hardly anything would shake him now. His concern, however, was not for himself, but for Bruce.

Talia was a persistent shadow in Bruce's past, still haunting him, and although he had tried to convince the butler many times that the only link he had with her now was because of their son, Alfred still doubted it. Their relationship had been complicated in many ways, either because of her ambiguous nature or Ra’s al Ghul's insistence on trying to persuade Bruce to join the League of Assassins, making Alfred fear that Bruce's morals might deviate because of this passion at the time.

Alfred raised his fist to knock three times and waited patiently as was his custom, but it seemed that was not enough to wake his master. He knew the door was open and knew he was allowed to enter without knocking, so just this once he used the liberty the young man had given him over the years; because in the end, Bruce Wayne was just that, a young man, and would always be seen that way by him.

Inside the room, he turned on the light, and the intense glare made him close his eyes to avoid the sting of the brightness. Approaching the bed, he sighed at the sight of Zolpidem pills left on the nightstand. This had been the only way Bruce found to stop spending sleepless nights, reluctantly since he was too stubborn and preferred to patrol in the darkness. Waking him would be a difficult task.

"Master Bruce," he called, waiting for a response, but got nothing. Alfred felt sorry for waking him, seeing how he finally seemed to be resting. "Master Bruce," he called again, this time nudging his shoulder. The pills must have been wearing off because he started to stir on the mattress.

"What’s going on, Alfred?" Bruce asked in a hoarse voice while rubbing his eyes to relieve the discomfort from the lamp. He sat up in bed, leaning his back against the headboard, blinking several times to see the butler in the corner. One of the room's curtains was open, and he saw the snow falling outside with the dark sky, showing that it was still night. "Is it Hugo Strange? Has he shown up somewhere?"

"Unfortunately, or fortunately, no, sir." Alfred paused, then licked his lips, preparing to continue and finally revealing, "There's a young lady downstairs who claims to be Master Damian’s sister." Direct, as always.

"Sister of Damian?" Bruce repeated the information, still not fully comprehending its meaning. He needed some time, just standing there absorbing the words. It seemed to be taking an eternity, but Alfred wouldn't interrupt the moment of clarity he was having.

He squinted, pushed the covers aside, and picked up the shirt he found nearby. Buttoning it up and getting out of bed, he continued, "When did this happen?"

"Just now, sir."

"Did Damian bring her here?" The question had a bitter tone but never crossed the line of respect that was drawn between them, and Alfred knew he should prepare for his interrogation. Bruce saw the alarm clock and, like the butler a few minutes ago, checked the time. "He never mentioned anything like this."

"Nor to me." Alfred suddenly extended a coat for him to take. Bruce held the fabric between his fingers, confused. "This coat is hers. There’s a map of Gotham City and a letter inside. I recommend you take a look at the addressee."

Pulling the papers from the right pocket, Bruce noticed a map folded into many smaller parts and a letter witch was still sealed, though the corners were noticeably crumpled and marked by small fingers. Carefully analyzing the cursive handwriting, he read. "I had no idea Damian still had contact with his mother. Much less that Talia had a daughter," he said, still drowsy, staring at the name 'Talia Head,' to whom the letter was addressed and recognizing his son’s elegant handwriting. Apparently, she still used the alias surname.

"It's not surprising considering you only discovered your son after so many years." The statement could have easily been interpreted as irony, but it was acidic. "She didn’t seem sure Damian lived here; I suppose she found out because of this letter."

"You left her alone downstairs?" he ignored the previous comment.

"I left her in Master Dick's care."

Bruce stared at him for long seconds and hurried out of the room. Halfway down the stairs, he could already see some glimpses of Dick's hair over the back of the sofa, talking to someone, or rather, laughing with someone.

"Dick?" The voice quickly caught his attention, turning his face to see his father approaching. When Bruce stood in front of the fireplace, he could finally look at the child beside the boy. Dick began to say something, but Bruce couldn’t hear. 

He stared at the girl, analyzing everything about her, from the way she intertwined her fingers nervously to her deer-like eyes. Her iris were shining, as if she had cried, and her swollen and bruised lips were quite noticeable. She had definitely been outside not long ago, shaking and rubbing her hands together constantly to warm herself up. She seemed too sweet, but Bruce knows that appearances can be deceiving.

His gaze passed over the pendants hanging from her bracelet, a simple detail that caught him off guard. Two crossed swords and a demonic head, he understood well what they meant; they were some of the symbols of the League of Assassins, the third was a simple "T" surrounded by a moon. He shouldn’t have been surprised, Talia was a possessive woman and he knew that the "T" was her way of marking property.

"Her name is Y/n," he heard Dick say after a long time.

You noticed how this man's eyes went dark while he watched you and couldn’t help but shrink back on the sofa. It was impossible to hold his gaze, and you began to feel ashamed of being stared at for so long.

"Y/n, this is Bruce Wayne."

"What do you want?" That came out ruder than he intended, but his aversion to the League of Assassins stirred a certain anger. The idea that this could all be a trap crossed his mind. You might be young and exude innocence, but you must have enough understanding to participate in their malicious plans.

"I just wanted to see my brother," you said with sadness in your voice, questioning yourself if this whole situation was worth it. Bruce knew the best way to confirm if this was all true would be by his son’s word, but the signs were so explicit that it might not even be necessary.

You don’t look anything like her, at least at first glance, but you wore her favorite colors and clothes so perfectly matched that no girl your age could choose yet, exactly to Talia's taste and with the appropriate youthful touch for your age. The pendants, the cut of your hair, literally everything had her touch. It was impossible for anyone to convince him otherwise.

"Go get Damian." He said, and Dick understood that the message was for him. Bruce needed to make sure you were telling the truth, or at least needed to make sure you weren’t dangerous. This could still be a League scheme or some plot by your mother.

"Can I see him?" Your voice was the loudest you had spoken that night. The excitement was clear, and it was so much that irrationally you stood up to follow Dick, but a calloused hand suddenly wrapped around your torso and stopped you, making your back hit a slightly prominent belly. You looked up and saw the old man again, his expression was not happy, and you realized it was directed at Mr. Wayne, who had an arm extended towards you but that never managed to touch you.

Like his face, his arm was tense, with visible veins and contracted tendons. You didn't know what his intentions were, but by the way the old man grabbed you to prevent him from laying hands on you, maybe he wasn't as good as he or Dick. It was a very scary sight., making you feel that this man could be dangerous. Trusting the old man, you turned to hug him, hiding as much as possible. Mr. Wayne’s aura was dark, very unfriendly, but you still saw how he recoiled with his face displaying a certain sense of regret.

Dick noticed Alfred's sudden movement behind him before he could leave the room. He glanced at their faces and for a moment considered whether it would be appropriate to turn back and mention the conversation he had with you to the butler in secret, but then his eyebrows furrowed thinking of Damian. Maybe he should confront the little demon first.

"Don’t do anything stupid, Bruce." Dick thought.

Frantically he knocked on the boy’s door. One, two, three, four times until he lost count. At no point did he hear any noise inside, so he began to turn the doorknob, only to find it was locked.

"Of course he’d lock it, that brat..."

"What are you doing?" Suddenly Tim's bedroom door behind him opened abruptly, making a sliver of light from inside illuminate the opposite wall. He was obviously irritated at being woken up but still had that tone of seriousness he carried most of the time.

"Where's his room key?" Dick completely ignored his brother's attitude.

"Forget it. I heard him sneak out to patrol again." Tim's voice sounded tired.

"And you let him?!" Dick snapped but reminded himself to contain it, remembering that Jason was sleeping in one of the rooms in that wing and that you three downstairs might hear the commotion. "Why didn’t you stop him?"

"And what good would it do? That boy is too stubborn." Tim tried to defend himself. "Besides, I have his location right here. He’ll be fine." He opened the door a bit more to show one of his computer monitors tracking the trajectory and heart signals of a green dot on the streets of Gotham City.

Dick looked both ways down the hallway before pushing Tim back into his room and closing the door.

"Hey, what's this? Why are you acting so weird?" Tim was startled by Dick's unusual behavior, feeling anxious as he watched him go to the computer to check Damian's exact location, observing the dot on the screen moving. Dick pressed a button, likely an emergency notification to get Damian to return home. Then he turned to Tim, gripping his shoulders and looking at him with intense seriousness.

"Tim, what I'm about to tell you might be a lot to take in, and I need you to try to understand as much as possible." Dick pointed a finger in his face, waiting for confirmation.

"You're scaring me like this. What the hell happened?"

"No questions and no interruptions! Understood?" Dick's tone was authoritative, stepping back only when he saw Tim nodding affirmatively.

"Why the hell is everyone awake downstairs? Did someone die or something?" Jason barged into Tim's room without ceremony, trying to make a joke, but when he saw the ghostly expressions on their faces, he quickly shut the door again, this time with him inside the room. "My God," he exclaimed in shock. "Can I join in on your little secret?" he asked ironically.

"Did you see the girl?" Dick asked Jason nervously, with a certain expectation.

"Yeah. I saw a girl with Bruce and Alfred. But they didn't see me, since I went back upstairs. The mood down there is pretty tense." Jason threw himself on the bed, making the mattress bounce and Tim frown in displeasure. "I think Alfred is going to give him a lecture afterwards."

"She's Bruce's daughter."

Jason propped himself up on his elbows, and Tim had to sit in the computer chair. His mouth formed a perfect 'O' as he struggled to believe Dick's words.

"With who this time?" Jason seemed to be reacting better than Tim to the news, even letting out a light laugh. It was a typical, caustic Jason response.

"That's not all." Dick ignored his comment. "She said she's Damian's twin."

Tim let out a short whistle, processing the idea like a complex calculation. "Tell this story from the beginning, Dick. Why did she show up now?" He finally managed to rejoin the conversation. It took a while for the shock to pass, but now he had his usual rational demeanor.

Dick rubbed his hands over his face, trying to recount the night and organize the information. "Apparently, she doesn't even know Bruce is her father. And he doesn't know about it either."

"Damian also never mentioned having a sister."

"Damn. Hiding one kid for a decade is something, but two?" Jason stared at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, a strange sensation taking over the room. But seeing the melancholic expression on Dick's face, his curiosity grew even more. "What else do you know, huh Dick?" He questioned him, sensing there was something much deeper behind this, and his brother just gave him an enigmatic look.

"She said she came here to see Damian. That she found out where he was because of a letter he wrote to Talia..." Dick suddenly froze, pulling a little box from his pocket as if it were a dangerous bomb. "While we were talking, she said a man had helped her get here. He gave her a map and asked her to deliver a present to Bruce, but she gave it to me to deliver." He handed the beige little box to the two, but it was Tim who took it.

Whatever it was, it was very well wrapped.

"Is it right to open it?" Tim asked. "I mean, it's for Bruce, isn't it?"

"I already opened it." Dick said bluntly. "I thought it might be a trap, I was careful."

"Give it here." Jason took the small box from Tim's hands. It was the same size as an engagement ring box, perfect for carrying in a pocket. He pulled the lid off and took out a card, freezing when he read it.

"What does it say?" Tim was curious, taking the card from his hands and reading it out loud:

'I sent your daughter home as a demonstration of my benevolence. Merry Christmas, Batman. Signed, H.S.’

"Holy shit," Jason exclaimed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "That bastard figured out Batman's identity."

"Even worse: he knew about her before we did." Tim added reflectively, his voice barely a whisper. "That means he knows much more than just Batman's identity. He might know other things, including our identities. He probably suspects we are also vigilantes."

"I want to hear the whole story properly." Jason's intensely serious voice broke the silence that had settled in the room, determined to fully understand the appearance of this girl and how she got involved with Hugo Strange.

Dick took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Alright, here it is. Minutes ago, Alfred and I woke up because a girl showed up at the manor claiming to be Damian's sister. She told me that she had a map of Gotham and a letter addressed to Talia from Damian. Alfred brought Bruce to her, and then I went upstairs to call Damian, but I discovered that he's out on patrol. And now we're here."

Tim interrupted, "Wait, so Damian's been in contact with Talia and didn't tell us?"

"That's what it seems like," Dick confirmed, rubbing his temples. "The girl didn't even know Bruce was her father. She mentioned that a man helped her get here and gave her a map along with a present for Bruce."

Jason leaned forward even more. "And this man was Hugo Strange."

"Not xactly, he could have sent someone else." Dick nodded. "The present was that card. Strange knows about her and about Bruce being Batman. He sent her here as some twisted gift."

Tim, processing the information, asked, "Did she say anything about why Strange would do this? What does he gain from sending her here?"

"She didn't seem to know much about Strange's intentions," Dick replied. "She just wanted to see Damian. But it’s clear that Strange knows a lot more than he's letting on. He must have some larger plan in mind."

Jason clenched his fists, his anger palpable. "So, this girl is just a pawn in his game. We need to figure out what his endgame is."

"Agreed," Dick said. "But first, we need to make sure she's safe and find out everything she knows. We also need to talk to Damian and see what tell us about all this."

Tim nodded, adding, "And we have to stay vigilant. If Strange knows this much, we can't underestimate him. He could have more moves planned."

Jason stood up, his determination evident. "We need to get to the bottom of this before anyone gets hurt."

"But what about Talia? Did she just let her daughter go out there, be deceived by a stranger, and then simply come here?" Tim pointed out. "And you, Dick? Are you going to tell Bruce?"

Suddenly, the sound of someone tapping on the window glass was heard. The three brothers turned their heads to see Damian, clad in his Robin attire, asking to come in. "Open up already, you idiots."

Tag list:

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@rafa-the-beautiful @shehrazadekey @fairuzwhat @bedeater @arianapjs

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🍒

@nebuluma

Credits for the divider: @cafekitsune

[randomreasonstolive]

Hello everyone!

C is on his way to recovery, its a slow process but he has improved so much more than we thought he might.

We are still struggling with finances and with Trump messing up federal aid, both of our SSI/disability is now being denied. Its going to be a difficult fight to try and get it back, which is the last thing we need on top of him having stage 4 cancer.

If you could, please spread around the go-fund-me that his sister set up for us to pay for our rent/other bills.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Theory Time!!! (please don't criticize me too hard on this I'm only throwing caution to the wind)

⚠There are spoilers below the cut from Chapter 7 and other parts of the game new players may have missed or not read yet, proceed at your own risk⚠

Let's begin with the last part of the sub-story. There was not much happening, a friendly day of Ppyong hanging out with the bestie and then....

This stood out to me. He was already acting out of character earlier in the sub story for this chapter after he ended up in the hospital. Before then he was perfectly fine and behaving "as normal". What is it that he wants to forget? Hasn't his life been pretty standard for a average man growing up in SK? He also doesn't do anything too bad, so one starts to question...

Also, beforehand, Minhyeok truthfully never did want to know much about what happens in Hell other than the random question he asked back in Chapter 4 about death when he was visiting Ra-On's parents' graves. *keep this in mind I'm going to mention it later*

Now, when he mentions this here it's a big fucking clue that something is not right. Usually asking hypotheticals like this is prepping the other for the real question/confession just in case they might have a bad reaction to being told the truth. It seems though that Ppyong affirmed his worries that he would be friends with someone who isn't a devil as long as they were on Hell's side. Like Samael (Leamas). But then...it happens....

Minhyeok is fucking gone right before he was about to say something incredibly important and could change the dynamic of his and Ppyong's friendship. What's more is that I'm guessing that right around the time that Ra-On and the others found the Minhyeok child version from what was said here.

And then....this.

This is a big cliffhanger and a huge clue that something is going to happen to Minhyeok to where there will no longer be moments like we saw before between him and Ppyong. Now, I am quite sure this doesn't mean "death" in the way that's typical. This could mean that this version of Minhyeok will no longer exist and this is where my theories come in---->

Theory A: Minhyeok is Ra-On's Guardian Angel

So if go all the way back to beginning, Minhyeok jumped in front of Gabriel's attack to protect Ra-On

"I don't have hard feelings for you"

He says the same thing to Minhyeok before slashing him across the chest in an instant. To me, since the beginning I thought the phrase as a bit odd considering when would Gabriel had seen Minhyeok before?

Unless he absolutely has

Gabriel is not against killing his own people. Neither are his brothers. This is shown plenty times in other instances. Minhyeok originally being a guardian angel for Ra-On since their parents death would be possible because angels, like Leamas have decided to go rouge and no longer do the bidding of "God's plan" if it meant murdering those you loved.

Minhyeok as a Guardian Angel for Ra-On could simply be...over time and each generation he's manifested as a human so he could keep a close eye on the descendants of Solomon. Perhaps before he was Minhyeok, he was someone else, and in the very beginning he was originally an angel who fell in love with Solomon and vowed to protect his descendants in any shape or form.

Now, that's really throwing some stuff out there based on this interaction but don't worry I've got other stuff too to help my thought process based on what happened after he was slashed.

Classic.

But Satan confirmed it. Minhyeok is out of the building. Using human logic...and the amount of time it probably took for Satan and Gabriel to do their thing, he'd been sitting there for possibly over five minutes or more pretty much "dead". Any human gone for that long is guaranteed to be gone. And in the rules of death for any movie I've seen...when you do ask for a loved one to come back, they aren't themselves. Think "Pet Semetary" rules.

But even after the contract was sealed between Satan and Ra-On, he was there to take them anyway regardless of what contract they may or may not have wanted to form.

And there's Minhyeok acting pretty much like himself. Nothing out of the ordinary except this huge scar on his chest.

Now I'm going to take you back to the Halloween event. I don't have specific screenshots for this because I was a dummy and didn't record it 💀 But follow me the best possible.

During Minhyeok's visit to Hell with Ppyong by his side, it was very strange that with every single angel attack, he only suffered scratches and bruises. There's explosions, weapons, and he's defenseless and yet...he didn't immediately die.

THEN, Minhyeok runs into each Seraphim. Michael avoided him, Raphael attacked him and threw him into a wall but then decided...nah I won't. Then Gabriel yet again tried to kill him but this time it didn't work due to the contract Ra-On made and it overriding the damage Gabriel's scythe brings...to where Minhyeok can not be killed by it ever again. Gabriel decides to pack it up though frustrated because he ofc was unaware of said contract ever being made on Minhyeok in the first place.

Here's where my Guardian Angel theory also gets somewhat supported in a strange way...

Minhyeok must have been under Gabriel's rule, hence why he just keeps trying to kill him because he went against God in the first place. Also it appears that Gabriel only focuses on things he deems important so anything else might get ignored or tucked away so he doesn't remember all the details correctly. I think his speech pattern is not only a part of his personality, but him truly trying to remember if he already said something or did something before.

The reason the other two Seraphim didn't bother touching him, is that they are aware of his purpose and his status after seeing the slash mark glow on his chest. (yes it was glowing apparently)

Ya'll are in luck I found this screenshot in one of my old as fuck posts lol

You see how he's perfectly fine??? I even questioned back then how could he possibly be okay after being fucking thrown through a brick building by Raphael who could clearly kill him in a second flat.

yeahhhhh yeahhh something's up

But the thing about it, is remember Satan said Minhyeok wouldn't remember too much of anything after being revived and the thing is Minhyeok does end up talking with Gabriel and he does remember him and Gabriel remembers him too.

But before anything else gets discussed Satan shows up anyway and that's done and done.

Now if you're wondering how could no one detect that Minhyeok is an angel the entire time, it's very easy.

Remember no one could clock Leamas as an angel? Everyone pretty much accepted him as a devil and went along with it. The only one who was even skeptical was Sitri but I chalked that up to him being like that in the first place.

I believe that because it was Gabriel that disguised him, that power is great enough to even trick the Kings, so imagine an angel's soul that travels through every human destined to be near Solomon's descendants? With that much time to cloak yourself, surely no one would be able to notice anything.

Minhyeok's memories, everything he went through ofc is valid. But he's had to do it often and so well, that each life he lives as a human gets eaiser, that is until...something different happens.

The reason all of this is coming to a head, is because this Guardian Angel never expected to fall in love with one of Solomon's descendants, that being Ra-On and now it's complicated.

How does this tie in with child Minheyok?

He mentions once after his fainting spell "I should have grown up sooner" and then later..."Growing up isn't always a good thing" It could be that now since Ra-On is in Hell, and he can't do much to protect them while on Earth he feels perhaps he has failed them somehow and in order to truly save them...he has to start over. The only way he can is to manifest himself in Hell as said child in order to look over them and then later he would then reveal his angel form once all is said and done.

Theory B: Minhyeok became an angel after dying

Let's start with some lore from Chapter 4's sub-story. Ppyong made it very simple that humans just die, they are not meant to go to Heaven nor Hell, their soul is just sort of floating around aimlessly.

However, the options as he states, if you have special talents or are a good being you are called to God and given a chance to either live as a devil in Hell, an angel or Heaven or forever in the human world.

Given the circumstances, that Minhyeok sacrificed himself for Ra-On, this is very much an option that happened, however there was a contract made at the same time to bring him back and this could affect things. Also, God is MIA so these terms could very much be different in Minhyeok's case.

Gabriel pretty much made the choice for him with his scythe. The contract brought him back and because of the injury now he's no longer the Minhyeok everyone knew and grew up with. The angel part of him is dormant during this time and low key to where he doesn't even realize it himself. Thus why everything went back to "normal" for him.

But in Chapter 7, once Ra-On got closer to the Ark Covenant....things were changing up. And the part of the trailer of Gabriel mentioning "did he have something to do with that" and a obscured silhouette of a mystery angel....

It's very possible that Gabriel indirectly turned Minhyeok into an angel and now he has someone to help bring Ra-On to Heaven which was part of the plan in the beginning.

This would be why we see Minhyeok suddenly acting out of character after his fainting spell, suddenly being reminiscent and also tell Minseok (the older brother) to be careful.

This would also explain Minseok not recognizing his own brother and being uneasy the entire time about his behavior being out of the ordinary. This theory is uh a little harder for me to validate but it's there!

Theory C: Minhyeok isn't Minhyeok at all, but rather a clone of an existing angel in Heaven meant to keep an eye on if any of Solomon's descendants pop up

This could easily tie in my previous theories in bits and pieces. Gabriel having no issue killing said "clone" because he knows he can just make another one and it's purpose has been fulfilled. Since Ra-On is still alive though, this causes problems for him so he has to go back and rethink.

Issue though, is that Ra-On cares for Minhyeok and asked for him to be brought back. So now this clone is running around, Gabriel is pissed about that but not too concerned which is why he's left him alone, again he's stuck on Earth, unable to get in Gabriel's way so why should he care?

When Ra-On is in the Reverse Babel Tower, Gabriel has to set everything into motion, but at the same time Minhyeok's clone is reacting to said change as well. This is when we get child Minhyeok who could very well, just a different form of Minhyeok's true angel form which isn't ready to be revealed to Ra-On just yet. This could also tie into why Minhyeok on Earth vanished. His existence is no longer necessary which is why that was the last time Ppyong would ever see him again.

Things to think about:

So...what about him giving Ra-On his cum for energy?

It's funny that none of the devils ever stated that Solomon needed both exclusively. It could be that he was just that powerful of a human and adapted so well that he didn't need both sources.

At the same time, since Minhyeok wouldn't be human in either case, perhaps it was never human essence needed in the first place, but angel essence and devil essence to keep humans thriving in Hell.

Where did Solomon get his dose of angel essence? Well...that I'm unsure of without throwing a wild ass accusation that he didn't need it because he had formed a relationship with God, and thus one night with him meant he'd have essence for eternity.

wild huh...

So what about the Kim family? It could be possible that Minhyeok didn't even exist until Ra-On's parents died. This would be why Minseok had a lapse in not recognizing him in the hospital because he never existed in the first place and it was just a false memory planted in his head.

Because think about it, after Minheyok's disappearance, and one day Ppyong tries to find Minseok as Juno only to be told "Huh? I don't have a younger brother, you must have me mistaken for someone else." and this crushes Ppyong's world. (i know sad stuff I APOLOGIZE)

I'm pretty sure that's all I had in terms of what I think is going on with Minhyeok, which tbh this ruins my idea that he and Ra-On are the OTP...because I mean what are they gonna go back to? He ain't there anymore and it's very much leaning toward the fact that Minhyeok is really an angel T^T

Like??? I wouldn't even know what to do in that instance as Ra-On I think I'd just be irritated and go to Niflheim and sleep in Belphie's room for like a week or something or have Buer do that pressure thing so I can be knocked out for a while. ANYWAYS, as I said at the very beginning these are just my theories and I don't expect any of them to make sense to everyone nor do I think it's gonna happen exactly as I stated. BUT yes, please feel free to pop in my inbox or reply with your thoughts. I'm sure we are all thinking similar in some ways.

[space-dreams-world]

The Bells toll for 4 Waynes:

Older Brother! Danny.

It was a regular day in the Wayne manor, and all the Batboys are home. They are in a room with the wayne family portrait before one of them notices something off with the painting. Even, Bruce can't figure out whose the person with his parents. It's only when Alfred sees the painting that he swears.

Info:

- Danny is the first born Wayne. He was born weak and sickly and lasted until he was nine, where he dies (by most likely the court of Owls).

- Danny knows his parents mean well, but he knows that their trying for another child since he's not fairing too well. He gives them his blessing for his future sibling.

- Alfred actually finds Danny when he dies, a vows to protect the future wayne heir. When Alfred looks at Bruce he sometimes sees Danny when he was healthy.

- Danny somehow speedruns the rebirth process that despite being born a Fenton, he still a wayne. He still becomes Phantom and goes, "A la tour de become Batman, but Ghost Zone edition"

- Danny is a diplomat for the GZ, not a king. He demolishes the system and rebuilds a new system where they can self govern. (The crown,the key, and the ring are kept with Clockwork and housed in a several-DNA locked container.

- Hears about the rankness of actual Gotham and its ghosts, so decides to go to Gotham to help Gotham spirit.

- Danny is actual there to deal with Gotham ghost, due to conflicting influences (bats, owls, rogues) leaves Gotham very weak and corruptible. (Spoilers, Danny has force Gotham into her core to heal herself, but stuff happens... Danny has to kill Gotham as the court of owls and the rogue are too influential on Gotham.)

- Danny actually shows up at a gala as cannonically aged Daniel Wayne.

- Danny works as a freelance mechanic or freelance mortician in Gotham.

- The Bats assume the Court is behind Danny's resurrection but, Danny eyes burn green so maybe the LoA is involved.

*Edit*: Danny, in order to heal Gotham, has to house her core as the ecto in city would take too long, and who knows what happened into those pits with Ra's involved (or Danny ferries Lady Gotham to the ghost zone to heal and he takes her place). Danny, for the time being, becomes the city spirit taking on the shadowed tar-like appearance with bits of owl and bat features with curses included and gains a lot of knowledge about his city and its people. This is a lot for Danny as he is essentially a supercharged ghost hybrid. The supernatural in Gotham are worried as Danny has the ability to essentially remove them and their curses on Gotham, but at the same time, because he houses Lady Gotham, people have the chance fight him for more power. The bats don't want to trust Danny and especially after he stakes their city spirit (they think he'll report the Bad guys, but cities are self-governing...)

[ I don't know if I want Danny to meet the Waynes again in the GZ before or after meeting Bruce, and Danny does meet Ra's at some point before meeting Bruce and co.]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I don’t know if the story says or not but What makes a dorm leader different than a regular student. They have a fancier uniform, order their students around, and go to meetings to plan events so it is just like a leadership position?

I’ve personally always thought of the dorm leaders as a variant of RAs (resident assistant). They’re students who work with school administration to oversee and to conduct activities for their respective dorm buildings/residence halls. In return for their efforts, RAs get perks (usually monetary compensation/free or reduced price on their own housing, their own room instead of having to share with others, etc.). Usually there is a fierce application and selection process since the benefits are good.

Similarly, the dorm leaders in TWST have certain responsibilities but are also granted power within their own dorm as well as certain privileges which extend beyond that. Here are some key points that differentiate the dorm leaders from your average NRC student:

Dorm leaders have say over succession and their second-in-command. (They can recommend someone to replace them as dorm leader, and can pick their own vice dorm leader.)

Dorm leaders can choose to not pick a vice dorm leader at all. This is the case for Leona (as he doesn’t want to be challenged). Ignihyde also lacks a vice dorm leader but we lack a reason as to why this is.

Vice dorm leaders can also be selected by winning votes from dorm members. This was the case for Trey.

Dorm leaders attend meetings with other dorm leaders + the headmaster to discuss schoolwide events and activities. They may delegate this work to their vice dorm leaders if necessary.

Vice dorm leaders can fill in for their dorm leader if the dorm leader is not present or not able to fulfill their duties. This occurs in book 6 of the main story and often occurs for Lilia (subbing in for Malleus).

Dorm leaders wear a special variant of their own dorm’s uniform. They are also allowed to make significant alterations if they wish (only to the uniform they wear, not the uniform that other students in their dorm wear).

Dorm leaders get to have their own dorm room rather than having to share it with other students. However, they still must use a communal shared washroom.

Dorm leaders are implied take some responsibility for their students’ behavior and academic performance, as they are the “face” of each dorm.

Dorm leaders appear to have authority over students in their own dorm, though whether they exert that power or not depends on the individual dorm leader and their governing style. Whether the students obey/respect them or not also varies.

Dorm leaders have the ability to grant students (even those outside of their own dorm) the ability to use magic for combat. (This is typically forbidden unless NRC staff allows for it.)

Dorm leaders submit reports and sign off on equipment requests

Dorm leaders are seen as the “role models” and are expected to resolve conflicts that arise within their own dorm. This includes academic challenges and generally correcting poor behavior.

It’s implied that dorm leaders “look out” for the younger students. This includes showing them how to wear their ceremonial robes as well as showing them around their new dormitory after the entrance ceremony.

Dorm-wide Halloween costumes are determined by either dorm leader or vice dorm leader.

Dorm leaders must attend orientation rehearsal, as well as orientation itself.

Vice dorm leaders can issue permission for people outside of the dorm to stay/sleep over.

The dorm leader approves off-campus permits, such as requests to go to Foothill Town and even off Sage’s Island for visits to other countries.

The light novel states that Riddle determined room assignments, as all students (excluding the dorm leader) live in shared rooms until junior (third) year. The second light novel confirms that it is 4 first years to a room, 2 second years to a room, then 1 solo third year. It’s not said whether the dorm leader picking your roommates is a Heartslabyul exclusive or of it extends to all other dorms (though we may assume it does).

Specific duties/responsibilities assigned to certain dorm leaders:

The Heartslabyul dorm leader may choose to enforce the Queen of Hearts’ rules at their discretion. Riddle is very strict, but the previous dorm leader was lax.

Grey areas/non-specific:

Dorm leaders must grant their permission in order for a student to book sections of their dorm building for events. This is stated to apply to Diasomnia, but it may be assumed to extend to other dorms too.

The Heartslabyul dorm leader assigns card suits to each of their students. They are first applied with a magical stamp, and the students are responsible for putting on their own mark with makeup every day after.

Dorm leaders are often serving as heads of committees (such as Vil for Halloween, Riddle for the cultural festival, etc.) It’s not clear if this is exclusively for dorm leaders or not.

Riddle says that everyone in the groups of book 6 has been given first responder training, but it’s not specified if this is required for all vice dorm leaders and dorm leaders.

Azul runs the Mostro Lounge, but since it is a personal project of his, his successor may not necessarily be tasked with continuing to run it.

Dorm leaders may also arrange the welcoming party, though this could be a responsibility shared with vice dorm leaders. Savanaclaw is stated to not have a welcoming party, but it’s not clear if this is based on the dorm leader’s discretion or not.

Trey is often seen directing unbirthday party preparations, but we don’t know if this is because it’s part of his duties as vice dorm leader or because he wants to avoid Riddle’s wrath.

Jade helps Azul collect personal information on new students, but this is most likely a Jade thing and not an Octavinelle vice dorm leader thing

[bellyaz]

1,000mgs

“Thanks, Ky.” Jade huffed, thanking her good friend/RA who held the door open for her as she walked waddled into her dorms with bags of food.

She barely got her reply out. Her mind was occupied with an edible that she described as “ain’t shit” about an hour ago and trying to balance the weight of her bags.

“Fasho.” He replied. “You clearly bouta eat good.” He joked.

She let out a quick laugh to hide her embarrassment.

She hadn’t realized how much she ordered. After her edible hit, she was mindlessly scrolling through Door Dash and adding whatever looked good to her cart.

“You know they be putting little ass orders in big ass bags.” She said, trying to deflect.

He gave her a knowing look and nodded.

“You need some help?” He asked right before she turned the corner.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks tho.”

“Ight. Don’t forget room checks later!” He shouted as she scurried onto the elevator.

The walk to her room felt like forever. Her stomach was growling and she felt positively buzzed. She finally got in her room and placed her meals on the bed. She caught a glimpse of herself in her full body mirror.

“Mccht.” She sucked her teeth as she realized the bottom of her stomach was poking out of her hoodie and her shorts had rolled up.

A wave of embarrassment washed over her as she examined her new frame. She looked a whole lot different two years ago compared to now.

She was never skinny, but she stayed in shape. She even played intramural volleyball her freshman year. But she got lazy during that summer.

Now here she was, 6 months and 40 pounds later doing her Friday night routine.

Getting high, ordering a fuck load of food, then gorging herself.

She pulled her hoodie & shirt, (which recently stopped covering the underside of her belly) up so her stomach could be exposed. Her bottom lip was immediately tucked between her teeth as if it were an involuntary reflex. She used her middle and ring finger to jiggle the bottom of her belly before completely stripping her hoodie off and pulling her shirt that clung to her skin down.

She put her headphones on before tearing the food bags open and mindlessly shoving fries in her mouth while inspecting the rest of her orders.

She placed her feast in neat piles:

4 chicken sandwiches

12 boneless wings (easier to eat)

1 basket of fries

1 large mac and cheese

8 ranch dipping sauces

1 large Diet Coke (for balance of course), no ice

1 pint of Milk & Cookies ice cream

1 box of white cheddar Cheez it’s

She pouted as she reached into the empty fry container, not realizing she’d finished before she even got to sit down.

Placing her chair in front of her mirror, she sat down and spread her legs to make room for her stomach which already felt a little heavier.

She started with a sandwich. Her eyes rolled back as she took the biggest bite she could. The flavors were enhanced because of her inebriated state.

“Mmm,” a satisfied moan slipped out of her mouth.

She reached for a wing as she tried to rationalize her purchase.

The sandwiches were 2 for 1, I literally had to get them with the meal deal. She thought. And I only eat this crazy once a week. I deserve it.

She gulped down a quarter of her drink and let out a belch.

She giggled and excused herself before sticking her finger in her bellybutton.

I’ll save the two other sandwiches for tomorrow.

She finished off her sandwich whilst mindlessly scrolling through her social media before reaching for another one.

She cracked open one of the dipping sauces and poured it over her next bite. Another eye roll, moan, and a tap to the belly followed.

This process repeated itself until the second sandwich disappeared.

She pulled at the bottom of her shirt & the band of her bra, which was seemingly getting tighter and more uncomfortable with each fattening swallow.

She debated getting up to take it off but her greed overpowered this thought.

She cracked open the lid on the Mac and cheese before licking up a bite with her tongue. She chewed as she looked for a utensil in the bag but realized there were none.

“Always forgetting somethin’.” She whispered, annoyed.

She put the container up to her mouth and let gravity do the work until a mouthful of the greasy, gooey, fatty substance plopped her mouth. She poured some ranch directly into her mouth then put the rest on top of the remaining Mac & Cheese and decided she would finish it later when she got a utensil of her own.

Her focus was back on the wings. She plopped one into her mouth while still trying to take down the Mac and cheese.

“Fuck.” She exhaled between labored breaths, taking a break from chewing.

She placed her hand under her stomach for support. She suckef her fingers clean on the other hand before grabbing her gut from the side.

She whined, pouted, and squirmed at the sight in front of her. She looked like the definition of gluttony.

Her shirt was a little stained from the constant fondling, she could see the indent of the band of her bra was engulfed by her back rolls through her shirt, her shorts were basically hidden beneath her gut, and she was bloated beyond recognition.

This definitely wasn’t the biggest she’d looked, but it had been a while since she’d gone this far.

As she finally swallowed her food, she picked up her drink once again.

She pulled the band of her shorts over her gut and pulled her shirt down.

She turned to the side, lifted up her boobs with her arm, and started chugging.

She watched as her belly slowly but surely started poking out of her clothes. Every time she wanted to stop, she would simply look down and see more skin, and it gave her the push she needed to keep going.

Finally, she heard the rattle of the empty cup and threw it down before whining and burping uncontrollably.

She finally stood up to take her bra off but was taken aback by how much her gut weighed her down and how much of her skin was showing.

She hissed, finally begging to feel the effects of everything that was packed in her gut so far.

She couldn’t help but to slap, poke, and prod at her gut.

She pulled her shirt down but it bounced right back into place, exposing a good portion of her lower belly.

“Oh my god-“ she dragged before stuffing her finger into her bellybutton then shaking her distended gut.

She grabbed the ice cream that was partially melted and chugged it down whilst continuing her motion.

The creamy fattening treat coated her throat and started dripping down her chin a little.

She grabbed onto her belly as she continued taking gulps of the sweet treat.

She was so entranced in herself the she barely had time to react to the knock on her door.

“RA, swiping in.”

[outnumberedsins]

OEA Terms - Clinical/Academic vs. Community

This post aims to provide comparisons and sources for OEA community terms and their academic counterparts. This is not a post that serves to say what terms are more valid or not, just a review. I may not be able to find references to everything, so if I say a term isn't clinical and it has been mentioned, feel free to correct me. This is a long one, so buckle in. This may be updated.

Overarching Acronyms

for the sake of clarity, im going to use 'OEA' throughout this post to serve as the general acronym.

RAMCOA - Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse

RAMCOA stems from the ISSTD developed special interest group, the "Ritual Abuse Mind Control Organized Abuse Special Interest Group" (RAMCOA SIG) in 2008. [1] This, along with OEA, is the most common acronym used. There is a lot of controversy over this term, and much of the community has begun to switch to OEA.

OEA - Organized Extreme Abuse

From the ISSTD as well, emerging in 2020 as the previous SIG was renamed to "Organized and Extreme Abuse SIG." [2] This is believed to be because of the controversy surrounding the previously named group.

SRA - Satanic Ritual Abuse

An outdated term that comes from the satanic panic era in the 1980s. Much of the content that used this term is conspiracy-like in nature. However, some early OEA research (typically from 1990-2000) and books use this acronym and are genuine, so it requires a lot of critical thinking. [3][4]

RA, SA, CRA, ORA - Ritual Abuse, Sadistic Abuse, Cult (and) Ritual Abuse, Organized Ritual Abuse

These are more casual terms used in the 1990s-early 2000s before RAMCOA was established, when 'Satanic' was no longer accurate, and when there was a search to coin a new overarching term. Despite the name, these terms were used as overarching acronyms for things outside of RA as well. I've included these all in one due to their similarities and/or due to the fact they weren't used frequently. There are also a variety of other terms mentioned that I've noted in one of the sources below.[5, CRA] [6, SA][7, RA as a general term ][8, ORA, review of other terms]

DIDMCSRA - Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mind Control, and Satanic Ritual Abuse

A barely used term from 2016 coined by a community member. It seems to have existed very briefly and didn't extend past a couple of members. However, the community aspect provided is interesting.

MC-Specific Terms

terms specific to mind control and programming

Programming

Programming generally has the same definition between the community and clinicians. It is defined as "systematic torture that blocks the victim’s capacity for conscious processing, and then employs suggestion and/or classical and operant conditioning to implant thoughts, directives, and perceptions in the unconscious mind, often in newly-formed trauma-induced dissociated identities, that force the victim to do, feel, think, or perceive things for the purposes of the programmer." [9]

TBMC/TBCMC - Trauma/Torture Based Mind Control/Trauma Based Coersive Mind Control

TBMC is a term that clinically describes programming. However, within the community, this term can expand to include other types of mind control as well. The earliest mention I can find of this term was in 2007. [9]

Scripts - "Structures."

The term 'Script' is a community term to describe a phenomenon in programming where programmers will utilize certain media to program system structure. I have a whole other post on this. The term Script itself comes from an unreliable source, svalispeaks, but the idea itself is mentioned in literature under terms such as "Structures" of the innerworld. I'm just going to leave a link to my post about it if you want to explore the sources themselves, as this one is complicated.

Side Systems / 'Left' and 'Right' Systems

Sidesystems are a community made term that describes a structure in programmed systems where a set of alters are completely separate from the others, functioning as a completely separate system. In the clinical sense, this is sometimes referred to as the "left" and "right" systems, with one side being full of programmed parts and the other being daily life parts. However, sidesystems don't necessarily have to be to the left or right of each other. I'm also going to link my post that goes into more detail about them, but it doesn't provide any more clinical sources, so just take it how you will.[10, pg 131]

Screen / Cover Memories

Screen Memories are created memories that programmers use to "cover up" the abuse. They use impossible or highly improbable events, for example, an alien abduction, to discredit the victim and hide real memories of abuse. This is also called Cover Memories/Programs, and it is the same within the community. [10, pg 197]

System Reset / Epochal Division

Epochal Division refers to the phenomenon of where major life changes cause systems to replicate some or all of their alters, with the previously existing alters either remaining active or becoming more covert/dormant. OEA survivors sometimes call this a system reset if it derives from programming, though this term is the same as an endogenic coined one and is often frowned upon when used in reference to OEA. This is first documented by Kluft in reference to polyfragmented systems. [11]

System-Hopping

In the OEA sense, system hopping refers to the action of a part traveling from a sidesystem to the main system and vice versa. I am unsure of the origin of this term in OEA spaces, but it seems to be a community-made term that shares the name with an endogenic term. As far as I'm aware, this did not originate as an OEA community term and has existed in endogenic spaces years prior between the years 2001-2003.

Program Names

i won't go through all community terms for specific types of programming, only the most common ones I've seen specifically mentioned in literature or other official sources, as well as any very common within the community. these are not the only possible programs, but this section is already very long. if desired, i can make a separate post going more in detail about all of them. Sources here are triggering and often repeated.

Greek Letters

The greek letter system of programming originated from the community and is not used in clinical literature. Many of the terms originate from very untrustworthy sources (Fritz & Svali) but have expanded to be commonplace. I have also found evidence of Greek letter terms used in the community in 2003 and 2016.

Alpha / Base

The earliest mention of 'Alpha' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, it is described as "base" programming and similar terms clinically. The term refers to newly formed splits that have gone through basic programming (ex. loyalty to the group, following orders).

Backups / Doubles

Backup programs are the presence of programmed parts meant to replace other programmed parts should they fail or be 'disobedient'. Often, these parts will be the exact same as the one they're replacing and receive the same training. Both of these are used as clinical terms, though doubles less commonly. [10, pg 110, pg 144]

Beta / Sexual

The earliest mention of 'Beta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. Within the community, this refers to any sexual programming, which is very commonly talked about academically. I'll link one seperate example. [12]

Callback / Re-Contact / Return

Return programs are very much talked about in literature, and all three of the above terms have been used both inside and outside the community. These refer to any programs created to have the victim return to the group/programmers. [13][10][14, pg 115 ]

Delta / Violence

The absolute earliest mention of 'Delta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, violence programming is referenced in multiple official sources. In the community, Delta programming refers to any programming that revolves around violence towards others. [15]

Epsilon / Nonhuman / Paranormal

Epsilon is the community term for nonhuman programming, or parts that believe they are animals or other nonhuman creatures. This is used for a variety of reasons and doesn't have a specific term, mainly just listed as "parts who believe they are animals/nonhuman."[10, pg 51][14, pg 74 ]

Internal Handlers / Programmers / Enforcers / Organizers

While "Internal Handlers" seems to be more of a community term, Internal Programmers, Enforcers, and Organizers are used in a clinical sense. All of these things refer to varients of programmed parts that internally enforce, replay, and replace programs and programmed parts in some way. These are also often called "higher ups." [10, pg 160, pg 133] [14, pg 63]

Monarch

Project Monarch refers to an alleged subset of Project MKUltra. The idea is created by a conspiracy theorist. However, within the community, "Monarch programming" either refers to: 1. The government-led mind control that occurred during MKUltra/Project Artichoke itself, or 2. Any programming that is government-controlled, government-funded, or that came from a government connected group. It is also referred to as "Monarch-like" programming.

Omega / Suicide / Self-Injury / Lethal

Omega is the community term for all types of Lethal and Self-Injury programming. This is referred to in many different ways academically, but stick to the same general theme. [15]

Organization / Hierarchy

Both in community and clinical senses, there are various types of organizational programming mentioned. Most notably, soldiers, religious alters (angels, demons, etc), and cues such as numbers, shapes or letters, and colors. Usually, these organizations will correspond to a hierarchy. This is used as a way for programmers to more easily organize the system and keep parts in check. There is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to organizational programs, so those with the same type of organization may have completely different meanings to them. [10, pg 49, pg 131 ]

Reporter / Observer

Reporter programs refer to the same thing in community and clinical terms. They describe programmed parts whose duty it is to report back to the group and/or update them on the systems habits. This often ties into callback and routine programs.[13][10]

Routine / Internal Calender

Routine is the community term for programmed behaviors where the victim does things on certain times, days, etc. Often, this pertains to rituals. Routine programming is sometimes also referred to as an 'Internal Calender' in clinical literature and can be linked with callback programming. [14, pg 57] [15]

Scramble and Varients

In this section, I'm including any sort of programming that causes specific disorentation to make this shorter. Scrambling, Flooding, Rapid Switching, Spinning, Trance, Mist, 'Dead Head,' and other terms have been created and used to describe types of programming that cause the victim to become heavily disoriented, confused, foggy, or otherwise not able to think. There are a wide variety of clinical terms used for these types of programming, but the terms most commonly used in the community are scramble, flood, and spin programming. [14 , pg 88][15][16]

Shell

Shell alters are simplistic parts that function as a 'screen' that other alters speak through. This is used to make the victim not seem multiple and mask other symptoms caused by programming and multiplicity. There is a brief mention of "shell" parts in the context of OSDD, and some non-programmed systems may have experiences that are similar. However, a programmed shell is much different from other described experiences. [14, pg 56 ]

Silence / Speaking Programs

I've included all programs that mention voice in this section. Silence and group-specific speaking programs (programmed responses) are the two I've seen mentioned clinically and may tie into reporter programs. Terms such as hyperverbal are also used in community spaces. [15]

Theta / Religious

The absolute earliest mention of 'Theta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, it has been widely used within the community outside of that. Theta is a community term that refers to any kind of religious programming, which is well documented in the clinical sense, often just referred to as religious programming or specific examples of programmed parts.

Other / Misc Programming

Things like Body Illness Programs, misc Emotional Programs, Recycle and Amnesia programs, and Isolation programs have been listed in sources provided, among many others not listed here. These are the ones I see mentioned less frequently, and thus, I haven't given a full section. If desired, I'll create a specific post going over all of them.

System Types

as a note, i do not think systems who have been through OEA are inherently more complex. as mentioned, i personally disagree with HC-DID and its creator. this is simply grouping terms i've seen together.

C-DID / Complex DID

Complex DID is a term referring to polyfragmented DID. The term is mentioned by Bennett G. Braun and R. P. Kluft. It is not specific to OEA victims, and many use it as an alternative to polyfragmented.

EC-DID / Extremely Complex DID

EC-DID is a term initially coined by R. P. Kluft in reference to polyfragmented systems, very similar to C-DID. It is not an OEA specific term. However, ritual abuse is mentioned as a cause of said complex system structures. [11]

HC-DID / Highly Complex DID

HC-DID is a community-made term coined by someone later outed as a racist and being inappropriate with minors. For the term itself, the words "highly complex" have been used to describe some system structures and cases in literature. However, it is not a separate clinical term itself and was never said exclusively about OEA survivors. The idea that all programmed system structures are highly complex is also incorrect, as there are small systems that have been programmed. Some members of the community still use this term, while others discredit it. Please keep these things in mind when considering using this term.

RA-DID, OA-DID / Ritual Abuse DID, Organized Abuse DID

These are community terms I've seen used as an alternative to HC-DID as an attempt to create a term specific to OEA survivors. These terms are rarely used and are completely community based.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions or additions, feel free to send an ask or reply to this post. A reminder that I am not a professional, I am flawed, and I am just doing my best. This post, in particular, is likely to be updated, and I will reblog with changes.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Can we as a society talk about the fact Ra’s Al Ghul was still doing his whole “urghhh I need an heirrrrr…..” bit even once Damian would have had to been conceived?

Dude you have an heir, hate to tell you this but you can really stop now.

Like 7-8 yr old Damian was just chilling and Ra’s was STILL like hitting on black canary like: “hey girl…. How about siring me an heir?”

For the record Babs told Dinah the “dependable older man” she was dating was in fact renowned supervillain Ra’s Al Ghul, Dinah just didn’t believe her at first. But she eventually puts 2 and 2 together and calls off the wedding

Birds of Prey (1999) #33

Jean-Paul Valley when asked actually AGREES to sire an heir for Ra’s with Talia, and the only reason this doesn’t happen is Ra’s does a blood test on JPV and discovered he has some animal DNA from the fucked up experiments the Order of St. Dumas did on him as a baby. But this one was a close call

Azrael (1995) #30

Bane and Talia had an on and off thing, where they were together behind Ra’s back, but when Talia scorns Bane and Ra’s had him imprisoned, Bane fights his way back, in the process proving his worth as someone who could sire Ra’s heir. This never comes to fruition however, as after Bane is defeated by Batman in Batman: Legacy (1996) he strikes off on his own

Detective #700 & Batman: Bane of the Demon (1998) #4

Obviously all this is before Damian had been created and canonized so Ra’s didn’t KNOW he had an heir because the writers didn’t know he had an heir. However a literal read is so much more fun.

I like to think Ra’s Al Ghul thought the baby had bad vibes, and simply wanted a cooler, better heir. Sorry Damian, that’s rough.

[loregoddess]

Ancient Beastling Deciphered (literally)

So when I played Octo2, I saw the phrase "Ghormf" ef "thanks" and thought it sort of looked like a simple substitution cipher. This has haunted me long enough that I sat down last night and gave deciphering Ancient Beastling a try and lo, in the English localization it is indeed a simple substitution cipher.

Here's the cipher that's being used in the game:

Using this, we can "translate" the dialogue for the "Ghormf!" side quest:

The quest starts after speaking to the beastling in the Nameless Village (henceforth referred to as NVB, since he doesn't have a name).

NVB:

E'da taar jaolrern huzor fpaach jogajy. I've been learning human speech lately. Tug e bir'g mris his gi foy "ghormf". But I don't know how to say "thanks". His bi yiu foy "ghormf"? E zufg mris! How do you say "thanks"? I must know!

After traveling to Beasting Village, you can speak with the beastling there (henceforth BVB, as he also lacks a name).

BVB: E'da taar jaolrern orcearg fpaach jogajy. I've been learning ancient speech lately. E jaolrab his gi foy "ghormf"! I learned how to say "thanks"!

After the player guides BVB back to the Nameless Village and speaks with NVB, a cutscene plays out.

NVB: E'da taar jaolrern huzor fpaach jogajy. I've been learning human speech lately. BVB: E'da taar jaolrern orcearg fpaach jogajy. I've been learning ancient speech lately. NVB: Ih. Bi yiu mris his gi foy "ghormf"? Oh. Do you know how to say "thanks"? BVB: "Ghormf" ef "thanks". "Thanks" is "<thanks>". NVB: Ih! "Ghormf ef "thanks"! Oh! "Thanks" is "<thanks>"! Sohoho! E jaolrab fizaghern ras giboy! Wahaha! I learned something new today! "Thanks" daly zuch! "<Thanks>" very much!

Afterwards, BVB remains in the Nameless Village near NVB. If the player speaks to them, this is what they say.

NVB: Jaolrern huzor fpaach ef wur! Sohoho! Learning human speech is fun! Wahaha! BVB: Ancient speech... Very hard. But... Jaolrern eg ef wur! Ohoho! Learning it is fun! Ahaha!

And, that's the Ancient Beastling speech translated! Well, almost. As you can see in the cipher images, there's 4 missing letter substitutions. I could only find the guide dialogue for Temenos's guide from a video tutorial for the quest, where BVB says, "All right. Jaob gha soy." ("All right. Lead the way."), but I wasn't going to try and scour every video that's ever been uploaded in hopes of capturing unique dialogue for other path actions.

Despite a few cursory searches, I haven't been able to find dialogue script for all of the potential path actions, which might fill in the missing letters on the cipher. Since both files I currently have in Octo2 are already 100% completed, I also can't go and see what these two NPCs say when I use path actions aside from guide on them to grab the text for myself, nor have I been able to find a text dump to scour.

(If nothing else, I might end up trying to grab screenshots for myself on my next playthrough, whenever that may be. But! If anyone happens to have screenshots or a video or the text handy of the path actions for these two NPCs, I'd love to take a look).

Some more notes on my process, and guesses for the letters missing from the cipher, below the cut.

Deciphering the cipher wasn't really that hard, since we're given the key that "ghormf" = "thanks", so I was able to write out the alphabet, and then start writing in the substitution letters above their corresponding letters (I handwrote everything while working through this, but I don't have pics handy, so no process images this time sorry).

Then I just had to go through and start applying what letters I knew for sure to other lines of dialogue and then filling in the rest of the letters based on educated guesses (i.e. "Ghormf ef "thanks". became "Thanks" [e]s "thanks". so it was pretty obvious that "ef' was "is", which meant that Ancient Beastling e = i; also the phrase "Thanks" daly zuch! seemed to fit the phrase "Thanks" very much! and when I applied the letter substitutions for "very" and "much" to the rest of the cutscene dialogue, it made other words pop out, and so on and so forth until I had the cutscene dialogue completely translated, by which time the entire cipher was all but complete).

Obviously, there's a few missing letters: we don't have the Ancient Beastling equivalent to j, q, x, or z, since those letters weren't used in any of the dialogue I could find, and the letters k, q, x, and v weren't used, meaning they're the substitutions for j, q, x, and z but we don't know which letters they substitute for.

There's probably an official cipher, but until it's released (or if I find more letters in the path action dialogue eventually), I don't know for sure what the substitution letters would be.

I do have a guess of course, if you're into speculation.

Based on the pattern of the cipher, and the fact that Ancient Beastling looks like something I could read out loud if I wanted to, we can assume the missing letters of the cipher should still be "readable" for phrases translated to Ancient Beastling.

Therefore, my best guess is that x = x and q = q because they're weird letters, and my tentative guess is that English j = k, and English z = v.

x isn't used in English often, so keeping it as it is avoids losing the use of a more versatile letter, and also avoids the various phonetic qualities of x being lost when put through the cipher.

Keeping q as q would preserve the "qu" rule that appears in English, making encoding words with "qu" less awkward looking in Ancient Beastling: i.e. "quiet" would become "queag" which still doesn't look like English despite preserving 40% of the characters, and could still be pronounced out loud.

I'm tempted to have English j become k and z become v simply based on the phonetic qualities of the letters: z and v have a slight buzz when enunciated, and then j and k are the leftover letters. However alternately using j = v and z = k doesn't make the encoded Ancient Beastling unreadable per se.

For example:

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog (using j = k, and z = v) gha quecm tlasr wix kuzpf idal gha jovy bin (compare against j = v and z = k) gha quecm tlasr wix vuzpf idal gha joky bin

Here's another:

pack my bag with five dozen liquor jugs (using j = k, and z = v) pocm zy ton segh weda bivar jequil kunf (compare against j = v and z = k) pocm zy ton segh weda bikar jequil vunf

So, I guess if you're going to use the cipher to write Ancient Beastling into a fanfic or something like that, you'll have to come up with your own headcanons for the missing letters based on your preferences. At least until either the path action dialogue that I'm missing potentially reveals the missing letters, or until we get access to the official cipher that was used.

In any case, I had a lot of fun cracking the cipher, and I hope you enjoyed reading about it as well. If you made it this far...

ghormf wil laobern!

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s On Fire MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 3/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

On Fire MQ | Part 1 (1-2) | Part 2 (3-4) | Part 3 (5-6) | Moisturize ASMR

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is currently the most explicit compared to other dates and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

Part 3 & 4-> [Here]

✂———————–

[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

✂———————–

—[Part 5]— Video Timestamp [31:11]

The kitchen is filled with all sorts of ingredients.

After studying a few recipes, Lucien starts by cleaning the vegetables one by one, arranging them neatly based on size and color.

I put the excess ingredients into the refrigerator and see him preparing to chop vegetables on the cutting board. His movements are meticulous yet unfamiliar.

MC: Do you want some help?

Lucien arches an eyebrow ever so slightly, then frees up one hand to pull me behind him, his voice gentle.

Lucien: Yes, then come closer and help me, okay?

I wrap my arms around Lucien from behind, adjusting his hand to control the force and posture of chopping vegetables.

MC: [smiles softly]...Are you sure about this?

Lucien: Mm, I'm not particularly skilled at this. This position makes it easy for you to correct me at any time.

I wrap my arm around him with some struggle. I can feel his heat seeping through our clothes, causing a slight warmth in my ears.

Unwittingly, I remember the first time I spent New Year's Eve with Lucien. He also once stood behind me and wrapped his arm around me under the pretext of learning to make dumplings.

MC: ...Then, I'll make an effort to not get distracted.

MC: It's better to cut in from this angle...

Two people working together noticeably accelerate the process. After the pot is ready, Lucien and I stand on either side of it, seasoning it together.

Seasonal vegetables lose their raw appearance in the sizzling hot oil, transforming into delectable dishes on the dining table.

MC: The colors are right, and the cuts are similar. At least in terms of appearance, we've perfectly replicated these dishes.

MC: I just wonder how they taste. These dishes look so good, they couldn't possibly be bad, right?

Lucien: They're definitely going to be delicious. After all, we made them together.

Lucien: However, in the coming year, I will try my best to break away from this lady’s help and lead this process independently.

MC: Hehe, it's okay if you don't break away.

MC: I'm happy to accompany you and enjoy this process together. Plus, occasionally being Professor Lucien's "guide", I couldn't ask for more.

Lucien glances at me with a smile on his face, then bends down to kiss me lightly on the eyes.

Lucien: [chuckle then KISS!!!!] Since I have your permission, I won't insist on proving myself anymore.

Lucien: In the days ahead, accompany me to tackle more complex menus.

At the dining table, Lucien picks up his chopsticks, slowly bringing each dish to his mouth. He chews carefully, seeming to savor the unique taste of each dish

Though it's just an ordinary lunch, he eats with exceptional seriousness.

Lucien: The change in cutting technique has a much greater impact on the crispness of the vegetables than I anticipated.

MC: It's subtle, isn't it? Even though the cooking method remains the same, just changing the cutting technique makes the texture much crispier!

Lucien: Hmm, it's also interesting to stew meat with fruits.

MC: Hehe, that's because fruit acids not only tenderize the muscle tissue but also blend in smoothly with the flavor.

Lucien: [chuckles] So, although all these dishes are delicious, I particularly enjoy the stew you've added your ingenuity to.

It's rare to see him provide detailed commentary on dishes beyond just "delicious", and I can't help but raise my chin in pride.

MC: I've actually made some observations before when cooking. Just a slight change in the dish can make a huge difference in taste!

MC: It's kind of like the difference between the front leg meat and the hind leg meat, very distinct!

Lucien's gaze, which was originally focused on tasting the dishes, shifts towards me. Under the lamplight, his eyes soften, as gentle as water flowing into a stream.

Lucien: This classmate's metaphors are always so imaginative.

Lucien: It seems like every inch of the world you perceive is so vibrant and intriguing—

Lucien: Just like these rich dishes, they can evoke a range of emotions and also spark inspiration.

I prop my chin up, looking at him with interest.

MC: If that's the case, then I also want to be the “fruit” in the stew, making Professor Lucien even "sweeter"~

MC: Every happy and interesting experience in my perception, I want you to experience them together with me~

Lucien's eyes soften, and he taps his knuckles gently on the table.

Lucien: [whispers] In that case, can we do something fun together right now?

My eyes light up, and I stand up, walking over to his side. I cup his face in my hands, smiling as we lock eyes.

MC: Of course, then... what do you want to do?

Before I finish speaking, Lucien's hand gently lowers my head, and he plants a light kiss on my lips.

Although it's just a gentle touch, and although the atmosphere isn't ambiguous, I feel my heart beating wildly due to the unexpected intimacy.

I look at him with a flushed face, seeing overflowing tenderness in his eyes, and a magnified reflection of myself.

Lucien: I want to thank this lady who “shares the world” with me.

Then, he leans down, slowly closing the distance between us—

Until our hearts and minds feel the same frequency, melding together into the gentle twilight.

As the last rays of twilight fall, Lucien invites me to experience the festival in this small town.

Lanterns adorned with festive decorations hang on the streetlights, and the air is filled with the scent of firecrackers.

As New Year's Eve approaches, there are already many stalls in the small night market, with couplets, paper-cut decorations, and various potted plants joyfully arranged together.

MC: These paper-cut decorations are quite ordinary, yet they're selling for two digits. They're not as pretty as the ones you've made, but I just bought something really nice!

I take out a box of pink, peach-shaped pastries and hand one to Lucien.

MC: "Longevity Peach Buns"~ Would you like to try one?

Lucien takes a bite, his brows furrowing momentarily as he examines the bun in his hand with a hint of skepticism.

Lucien: [smiles helplessly] I wouldn't recommend it.

Even Lucien, who isn't usually picky about food, expressed dissatisfaction with the bun, which piqued my interest.

I take a bite, and the dry bun with a hint of artificial flavoring fails to satisfy even basic taste expectations.

MC: Uh...!

MC: [unamused] Although it's not tasty, it does look festive... Let's just display it at home when we get back.

Lucien smiles and shakes his head, then picks up a set of spring festival couplets from a nearby stall.

Lucien: The wording on these couplets seems rather ordinary.

Lucien: I'm thinking, why don't we buy some raw materials and try writing our own couplets at home?

MC: Sounds good! Then when the God of Wealth arrives, he'll see that the couplets we've put up are heartfelt and sincere.

MC: If he's in a good mood, who knows, maybe we'll strike it rich~

From the "福" (fortune/blessings) character for the front door to the refrigerator and even the shoe cabinet, to the money tree for the entrance and the glowing little dragon...

As we chat and laugh, the bags we're carrying are already overloaded.

We load the bags into the car and return to our seats. Just as I start to fasten my seatbelt, Lucien pushes open the car door again.

Lucien: I suddenly remembered there's something else I need to buy.

MC: Then I'll go with you.

Lucien: No need, it's right nearby. I'll be back soon.

Before I could react, Lucien had already closed the car door and disappeared into the bustling crowd once again.

✂———————–

—[Part 6]— Video Timestamp [36:42]

(T/N: if you haven't watched the video, please watch it from this timestamp! The BGM choice + voice acting really help set the mood~)

MC: What did Lucien go to buy...?

Snacks, or decorations? Before my thoughts can stray any further, Lucien's figure returns to the car with bags in hand.

MC: You're back!

The car door is pulled open, and along with Lucien’s scent, the chilly wind brings in a subtle smell... of gunpowder?

Lucien: [chuckles] I bought some fireworks...

MC: Oh~

Lucien: And firecrackers.

MC: [surprised] Eh?

I widen my eyes and look into the bag. Besides a few fireworks, there are…

MC: O- one-thousand-firecrackers-rolls and firework rockets?

Seeing my reaction, Lucien satisfactorily curls up the corners of his lips.

Lucien: As an "experiencer," of course I must try some sufficiently exciting things.

The car, loaded with goods, returns to our courtyard. Lucien parks the car and, together with me, we unroll the long red firecrackers on the ground.

The long firecrackers snake around like a red dragon lying on the ground, almost covering the entire courtyard.

I hold the lighter, watching the fuse that is about to ignite the firecrackers and can’t help but feel nervous in my heart.

MC: Lucien, could you, could you wait a moment? I'm not quite mentally prepared yet!

Lucien: [chuckles] Then allow me.

Lucien seems to chuckle softly. Before I can react, he has already struck the match, and the flame dances on his fingertips.

The fuse instantly ignites, speeding forward like a shooting star. I quickly grab Lucien's hand tightly, pulling him away as we run.

The next second, the firecrackers erupt like an awakened dragon, emitting a thrilling roar.

My body instinctively tenses, and I hastily cover Lucien's ears while he does the same for mine.

(the way they instinctively protect each other instead of themselves :”…)

His broad palm reassuringly shields those startling explosions.

Despite the barrier, my hearing becomes even more acute, listening as the firecrackers "rampage" through the courtyard.

I look at Lucien, in the faint red glow, his face is coated with a shimmering warm light, and from beginning to end, his lips are always brimming with a smile.

The bright light swiftly dashes through the dark night. After the long-lasting thousand blasts fade away, the air in the courtyard seems to have turned red.

Lucien waves his hand in front of him, trying to dispel the pungent smell of firecrackers, yet the smile on his lips never falters.

Lucien: Whether it's from the sense of hearing or the sense of smell... The stimulation I'm receiving is far more excessive than I anticipated.

MC: Many things you just have to experience firsthand to truly feel them!

MC: Just like I've come to realize, besides with the beauty of fireworks, Professor Lucien and the firecrackers are also quite "compatible"!

Lucien raises an eyebrow and takes out all the remaining fireworks and firecrackers from the car.

Lucien: That sentence sounds like a stereotypical impression of "Professor Lucien".

Lucien: Fortunately, tonight happens to be a good opportunity for "out with the old, in with the new."

The night sky stretches endlessly, as dark as a piece of black velvet, while the courtyard ground is scattered with remnants of red firecrackers.

Lucien stands between the darkness of the night and the redness around him, with the match he ignites in his hand being the only source of light around.

This glimmer of light remains silent, yet always manages to ignite clusters of earth-shattering fireworks in my world.

So I walk towards him, and together we light up all these fireworks.

The light flies into the night sky, showering down gently, casting warm hues upon us.

And beside me, Lucien's smiling expression is just like the fireworks filling up the sky.

In the end, Lucien and I left a few fireworks unlit and returned to the car for warmth.

The distant sound of firecrackers can be faintly heard, with occasional fireworks lighting up the night sky, illuminating the scene inside the car.

We sit side by side in the back seat, enjoying a moment of tranquility after the playful revelry.

Bright light filters through the car window, casting ambiguous light and shadows on Lucien's face. I trace his profile, and my heart is filled with joy.

MC: Looking back, we've had a lot of fun in just a few days.

MC: Going to the home exhibition together, selecting ingredients and cooking together, wandering through the festival night market, and even setting off fireworks and firecrackers...

MC: I wonder how Professor Lucien feels about this "town trip"?

Lucien meets my expectant gaze, but instead of immediately responding, he ponders for a moment.

Lucien: I've thought of many different answers, many different adjectives.

Lucien: Happiness, warmth, contentment... Each word seems to encapsulate my feelings, yet they all appear a little shallow.

I listen earnestly, reaching out my hand to intertwine with his palm.

Lucien: Whether it's in the warm room, cooking together under the bright lights, or lighting firecrackers together and making "noise".

Lucien: At the moment of accomplishing these things, I have a vague feeling.

Lucien: These seem to be things I've never consciously longed for but deeply desire to do.

Lucien: And year after year, in the New Year, you've helped me realize these, even wishes that I myself didn't fully grasp.

Lucien pauses unusually as if carefully considering his words. After a while, he simply casts his gaze toward me.

Lucien: So if there's anything missing, it's that I want my little lady to feel my happiness.

MC: I've already felt it...

But Lucien gently shakes his head.

Lucien: I want to paint it more vividly for you. Not through carefully crafted rhetoric, perhaps not even by speaking.

(T/N: insert the solemn, melancholic, yet hopeful 5th anniv special theatre BGM 😭 if you've read this far and haven't watched the video, I’d actually beg you to watch 🥺 The timestamp is: [42:09] )

Lucien gently takes my hand and places it over his heart.

In an instant, the world quieted down.

With the familiar heartbeat in my palm, it feels as if the overflowing sense of happiness is also held within my grasp.

"Thump, thump," resounding as if echoing through the entire universe. And it speaks—

Lucien is very happy, very content with life.

And so am I.

At this moment, I seem to also taste the shallowness of "words", for no matter how many words are spoken, they can't fully express the deep love beating in my heart.

So I recklessly approached him, wanting to convey my most profound feelings to him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, my fingertips threading through his soft hair, as I lean in closer, Lucien gently but firmly pulls me into his embrace.

The smell of gunpowder fills my nostrils, seemingly carrying the heat capable of igniting flames with it.

The lips merely brush against each other, then clinging lovingly and inseparably, unwilling to part ever again.

Our tongues entwine as if thirsting, drawing out every bit of sweetness, until our breaths become so chaotic that they can't be distinguished from each other.

Can a deep kiss express this love? Can a long embrace reveal the yearning in the depths of our hearts?

While thinking about all this in a daze, Lucien's whisper comes to my ear.

Lucien: [whispers breathlessly] Is this kiss enough to explain it all?

MC: Not enough...

I instinctively spoke out, not knowing whether I was answering him or telling myself.

Upon hearing this, with one arm still around me, Lucien unbuttons his shirt with his other hand, revealing his well-defined physique.

Lucien: [chuckles and whispers] Then tonight, I will lay bare all of myself to you, okay?

His eyes still carry a faint smile, but they are moist as if they've captured light, burning and deeply sincere.

I nod and kiss the corner of his eye, taking in all of him.

His warm lips carry a slightly wet sensation as they wander over my body, igniting my skin like clusters of flame.

The intimate and meticulous licking makes me feel like I'm about to melt, my body instinctively tensing up, sliding towards the only fulcrum.

Lucien: [noises of him eating… something, and sighs in satisfaction] ….

The fingers holding my calves suddenly tighten, pulling them wider apart. I sit back heavily and then whimper out in pain.

MC: [blushing] Lucien….

My voice comes out sweetly and aggrievedly, elongating the end of his name with a deliberate undertone. It sounds like pleading for mercy yet also carries a tacit demand.

The sound of muffled laughter reaches my ears, Lucien flips over to be on top of me and presses me down, kissing me on the lips.

Between the disorganized breaths, he murmurs something on the tip of his tongue.

Lucien: [whispers] Sorry, does it hurt a bit?

I nod, but in contrast to my answer, I thrust my hips upward, wanting to fit even closer to him. In the process, I almost hit my head on the car door, but Lucien protected me.

The decorations on my clothes roughly brush against Lucien's exposed skin as he moves, causing him to tremble lightly.

Lucien: [chuckles] These little decorations are a bit in the way.

Those words are much colder than his kisses, and I can't help but watch my heart beat faster as he gently picks at them and lets the decorations fall.

It's just that there seem to be more and more things that get in the way between us… the top, the belt, and the skirt, they all seem a bit unnecessary.

The car's air conditioning blows dry, warm air, dispersing the remaining traces of coldness on our skin.

The moist sensation behind my ears makes me feel like I'm lying on a stream, his voice, hoarse and low, reveals a fervent longing.

Lucien: [hoarsely] Now, can you understand this feeling clearly?

My heart beats fiercely, and within my hazy consciousness, I seem to hear the emotions hidden behind Lucien's questions.

Instinctively, I tighten my arms around his neck and wrap my legs behind his waist. My hand gently caresses him.

MC: I think... I still need more time to understand.

MC: This is what you want too, isn't it?

Lucien’s laughter-tinged voice drifts into my ears.

Lucien:  [whispers followed by more wet kiss noises] The night is still very long.

The ambiguous warmth inside the car envelops us like the steam of a hot spring, carrying us into the clouds.

It seems there are small trinkets on the dashboard that can't withstand the shaking, but we are too preoccupied to notice.

Unintentionally, someone presses the car window button, and the distant sound of fireworks leaps into our ears.

Tiny snowflakes land on my outstretched arms, only to be melted into droplets by the heat.

"Splat," "splat."

This night, when the old days and the new years merge, we seem to need a little more warmth.

--———FIN————–

✂———————

[Bonus: some h-word translation notes before afterword because I don't want to ruin the beautiful smut with my dumb commentary]

Lucien: [whispers] Sorry, does it hurt a bit? I nod, but in contrast to my answer, I thrust my hips upward, wanting to fit even closer to him. In the process, I almost hit my head on the car door, but Lucien protected me.

(T/N: this sentence implies that the pain is not from her sitting back but… him fitting inside *cough*)

The car's air conditioning blows dry, warm air, dispersing the remaining traces of coldness on our skin.

(T/N: this description implies that they are both already completely undressed at that point. To counteract the chill from being unclothed, the warm air conditioner is turned on :>)

✂———————

[Afterword, rambles and highlight(s)]

⎯ Just like how sunlight helps plants to grow, love nurtures Lucien's growth over the years.

Even after 6 years, Love and Producer still have such a talented writing team that never FAILS at making us feel h-word and cry at almost the same time ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽. This date is not angsty in the traditional sense, in fact, the date in general is so sweet and full of daily life. But the end really punches you just right in the feelings ESPECIALLY with the 5th anniversary special theatre BGM.

Honestly, it’s hard to explain why this date is so good and makes many CN stans cry by the end of the date. It’s… something that you can experience only if you know him for so, so long. It's something that can only be felt by witnessing his growth from the moment you first 'met' him until now. The feelings of observing someone you've ‘nurtured’ with love and care for years finally blossoming into the most colorful and unique 'fireworks' you've ever witnessed… they’re really hard to describe.

But anyway, before this essay turns into an analysis of "The Little Prince" and Lucien, let’s talk about the date, shall we? If last year's date theme was along the lines of "accepting yourself and your emotions from the past," then I predict that this year's theme seems to be about "experiencing and living the present"; and this is such a fitting theme for Lucien. Why? Because as a character, before he met the MC, he was simply an "observer" instead of a “participant”, curiously observing and experimenting on everything around him, and yet never really ‘participates’ and ‘experiences’ in it.  However, thanks to MC, he has begun to actively participate in the hustle and bustle of the world, experiencing many things that have made him more vibrant and ‘alive’. This transition from ‘observer’ to ‘participant’ is cleverly depicted in this date by making him into a participant in the experiments with MC, rather than solely being the experimenter as usual.

This date as a whole centers around two important things, experience and emotions. While the relationship between experience and emotion can be complex and multifaceted, the way I get it from this date is that; if ‘experience’ is more about the ‘input’ that we get from our senses, then ‘emotions’ are the ‘output’ of our experience. In other words, experiences provide the stimuli that trigger emotional responses. Both experience and emotions are important things for us humans; together, they contribute to our ability to fully engage with and appreciate the present moment, rather than simply going through the motions of survival… They’re also two things that Lucien has been learning over the years.

First, let’s talk about experience, when our observer scientist sheds his lab coat and removes his glasses, he transforms into an ordinary person sincerely in love with you and deeply experiencing love. This date depicts how he experiences love in the warmth of everyday life, and amusingly, it almost makes this date feel as if MC and Lucien are newlyweds on their honeymoon ahah. From shopping for furniture for their new home to encountering silly and unexpected problems that the organizer throws at them (just like how everyday lives always throw problems at us lol), to grocery shopping and cooking together, and cough even the fact that they’re basically ‘on fire’ everyday cough— The grocery shopping parts are especially funny (with just Lucien being Lucien lol)... and cooking scene is just chef kiss. It's really endearing to witness how he adapts to homemaking tasks in his unique way, all because of his love for you.

Still on the topic of ‘experience’; do you know that both of the more descriptive spicy scenes are part of the plot? First, the spicy domming ‘guiding’ scene. In that scene, MC guides him to focus on what his senses told him instead of giving processed answers. And this seems to work because, throughout the date, you can notice him developing more opinions on things based on his senses as he experiences everything. Previously, because he never slowed down and always looked far ahead (See also, his Summer UR MQ, recent CN birthday date and story for more in-depth digging about this theme-), he never fully ‘experienced’ life. But with MC's guidance, her “sharing the world” with him, he starts to perceive the world around him more keenly. This transformation is evident in tasting scenes and fireworks scenes, where he earnestly uses his senses to taste their cooking, hearing the loud firecracker noises, and smelling the scent of gunpowder. She doesn’t only ‘bring’ color to his monochrome world, but also the taste, smell and noises of the world around him as he experiences the present. All these stimuli make his world no longer feel ‘silent’ to him. Sometimes, loving him feels like pulling a ‘god’ from his pedestal to experience the lively and ordinary life of mortals. Perhaps he loses some of his ‘invincibility’ (like for example, that causes him to fall for consumerism trap lol), but in this way, he becomes more alive and real.

Then about emotions. The initial discussion about emotions centers around “emotional synchronization” between lovers, setting the stage for exploring how MC and Lucien perceive and handle each other's emotions. Just as MC accepts all of Lucien's emotions, whether they be sadness or happiness [referencing Lucien’s CN birthday date in 2023], Lucien reciprocates by accepting all of her emotions. Lucien demonstrates emotional stability and maturity as a partner, creating an environment where MC feels no need to restrain her emotions in his presence. He is fond of and intrigued by her colorful range of emotions (and a bittersweet reminder of how her moods affect her “color” in his eyes ahah:”””). This highlights their curiosity and fascination with understanding each other on a deeper level.

For them, all human emotions are important, but MC initially wanted Lucien to feel more positive emotions. With the concept of “emotional sync” in mind, she promises to convey more positive emotions for him, inadvertently restraining her own emotions in the process. However, during their time together in the small city, she learns that even so-called “negative emotions” have value. Despite facing challenges or "troubles," both characters find joy and support in each other's company. MC finds Lucien's moments of vulnerability endearing, while Lucien appreciates MC's encouragement and companionship. They both come to acknowledge the natural ebb and flow of emotions in their relationship, realizing that some negative emotions are far from being detrimental; it’s simply part of their day-to-day life. Those emotional fluctuations are just a very small part of their overall happiness~

ALL THE FEELINGS FROM THE SECOND EXPLICIT SPICY SCENES SUCCESSFULLY MADE ME CRY. Experiencing all sorts of things with her during experiments and everyday life … even things and wishes that he never consciously longed for yet always wanted:

许墨很快乐,很幸福

The meaning of these words are difficult to render accurately in English, and my “Xu Mo/Lucien is very happy, very content with his life.” are just barely scratching the surface… While 快乐(kuài lè) refers to a more transient or temporary feeling of happiness and joy, often related to a fun event, 幸福 (xìng fú) encompasses a profound and enduring sense of happiness and contentment in life. It signifies a state of well-being that extends beyond momentary pleasures, often associated with having a loving family, spouse, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of overall satisfaction with one's life. So when combined, it emphasizes the fact that while experiencing all the ups and downs of the world with her, Lucien is not only feeling immediate joy and pleasure ("快乐"), but also enjoying a deeper, more lasting sense of happiness and fulfilment ("幸福"), he is both happy in the moment and all of his life. By slowing down and deeply experiencing each moment of their shared life, he discovers his own happiness and longing that even he himself never knows about. So, he wants her to experience every bit of his happiness and love that has blossomed because of her… candidly and unrestrainedly wants her to experience all of him.

In another vein, LOVE IS A VERB, NOT A NOUN!!! It's a continual action, continual choice, continual promise to another person. And no matter how many words are spoken, both of them can't fully express the deep love beating in heart. So, when words are too “shallow” to even capture a fraction of deep love and happiness, he can only confess them through instinctive actions, recklessly pouring out his heart in every embrace, every kiss, and every touch. And yet, the question still stands, Can a deep kiss express this love? Can a long embrace reveal the yearning in the depths of our hearts? They’ve done everything, yet it still feels not enough, and perhaps… it will take a lifetime of shared experiences and ‘confessions’ to fully reveal the depths of his love and longing for her.

AND SPEAKING OF CHOICE(S), the BGM choice for that last spicy scene is freaking genius!!! It comes from 5th-anniversary special theatre“The many choices of life” video (You can check it on my YT!). This special video is all about the power of your/MC’s choice. I want to highlight the first “what if” scenario. The first “what if” is about what would happen if she had chosen to not meet Lucien.

In this scenario, the narrative explores what would have happened if MC hadn't met Lucien. Without their encounter, Lucien would still be questioning and seeking understanding from the world around him. He would have found another path, albeit one that didn't involve her, dedicating himself to searching for the 'most optimal solution.' However, his world would remain black and white, indifferent to whether there were people who tried to understand him and care for him :”. Anyway, by using this as a BGM choice, it accentuates the power of your/MC’s choice in shaping him being the way he is right now; while still running on the path to explore truth with dedication, he also finds happiness and contentment along the way because of her choice.

In conclusion, Lucien’s writers never fail to captivate us and deliver top-tier writing! This date highlights the importance of experiencing life fully and embracing all emotions, while also underscoring the transformative power of love~ His writers really excel at utilizing his character to its fullest potential. I can go on and on, talking about all the small details and references on this date but this UR won’t be published any time soon if I do LOL. If you’ve read so far, thank you for reading this date and my rambles~

[real-life-senshi]

Aino Minako's Discography

So I was chatting with a friend who I dragged into watching PGSM about how Minako's portrayed in PGSM and all the hints we get in subtler ways about her change in character throughout the timeline and story... and then this led to us chatting about Minako's music. So now here's my brain dump. lol

From the PGSM Memorial Art Book, the CD listed here from left to right are:

I'll Be Here (album)

C'est La Vie (single)

VENUS (album)

IMITATION (album)

Kiss^2 Bang^2 (single)

There could be more singles before that, but if there are we don't know what they are. We do know there are other new songs Minako produced in-universe, including Happy Time, Happy Life from the Special Act, but we do not have a copy of the CD past Act 47.

For each of the albums, we find the name of the songs are very telling, and often very connected to the wider PGSM and Minako's storyline.

Act Zero states that IMITATION is Minako's 1st album.

Translations of the song titles:

始まりの伝説 [Hajimari no Densetsu] (The Legend of the Beginning)

IMITATION

負けるな!クリスマスガール [Makeruna! Kurisumasu Gaaru] (Don’t Lose! Christmas Girl) Act Zero is hinted to take place on Christmas Eve (the Silent Night bgm), or at least definitely near Christmas.

LOVE vs DREAM

うれしくて… [Ureshikute…] (I'm So Happy... / Be Happy...) There's a double meaning that without knowing more detail it'd be hard to determine the best way to translate the song title.

ナイショ! [Naisho!] (SECRET!)

ハートはORANGE [Haato wa ORANGE] (Heart is ORANGE)

白い出会い [Shiroi Deai] (White Rendezvous) As both Endymion and Serenity have white outfits in PGSM, I imagine this is alluding to past life.

MAKE UP! POWER!!

Songs 1, 7, 8 and 9 have very clear past life or Sailor Venus lore connection. While 3 and 5 seem to allude more towards Minako's story of battling her illness. Songs 2, 4 and 6 have more of a vague name that could allude to the duality of Minako's position as a teenager and idol, her secret about her illness, or her memory of Sailor Venus.

Regardless, the song titles suggest that even before meeting Artemis, Minako seems to have dreams or impressions of her past life. Possibly between these impressions/memories and her illness, Minako copes and processes her thoughts and emotions by making music. This has become my headcanon and how I write Minako in my fanfiction.

VENUS - released in Act 1 is Minako's 2nd album.

Translations of the song titles:

C'est la Vie~私のなかの恋する部分 [Se ra Bi ~ Watashi no Naka no Koi Suru Bubun] (That’s Life ~ The Part Inside Me That's In Love) The pronunciation of "C'est la Vie" is synonymous with the Japanese pronunciation of "Sailor V". Mischievous, punny Minako strikes again.

Star girl

For your dream

ETERNITY

Come again

月のキセキ [Tsuki no Kiseki] (Miracle of the Moon)

Be Free!

A Q U A  This song's name was likely done to allude to Ami it's shown in Act 2, Sailor Mercury's debut episode.

Happening ☆

戦う女神⋅おんな [Tatakau Megami ⋅ Onna] (Goddess of Battles ⋅ Woman) This could have been translated to Goddess of War as well. Googling the 4 first characters yields results that include Japanese articles on Athena. In-universe, since Ami has been referenced in AQUA, this title could be alluding to Sailor Mars, but it's more likely to be alluding to the collective Sailor Senshi team.

Lucky Joker Possibly alluding to Usagi? Or maybe Motoki? lol

ア⋅イ⋅ノ♡セレナーデ [Ai no Serenado] (Serande of Love)

The song name of VENUS is a bit more mixed bag of meanings, including song 8 alluding to Ami. But the allusion to the past life and Minako's identity as Sailor Venus is significantly more prominent. There doesn't seem to be any mention or allusion to Minako's illness.

This makes sense, since in Act 2 we viewers wouldn't have a clue about that part of Minako's storyline yet. In-universe, this suggests Minako embracing more and more her past life duties and being on the path of deprioritizing her personal situation and health condition.

I'll Be Fine is Minako's 3rd album, released sometime after Act 47.

Reminder in Act 47, Artemis and the Senshi were given a pre-release of the album, as Minako wanted to surprise Artemis and Usagi with gifts.

Romance

I’m Here

C'est la Vie~私のなかの恋する部分 [Se ra Bi ~ Watashi no Naka no Koi Suru Bubun] (That’s Life ~ The Part Inside Me That's In Love)

肩越しに金星 [Katagoshi ni Kinsei] (Venus Over My Shoulder)

Kiss!2 Bang!2

さよなら～sweet days [Sayonara~ Sweet Days] (Farewell~ Sweet Days)

This album has nearly all the insert songs we hear between Act 1 - Final Act that Minako sang. The only exception is I'm Here.

Songs 1, 3, 4 and 5 have names that allude to the idea of love, which is Sailor Venus's power. Songs 2 and 6 specifically have names that match the theme of the song lyrics, revealing Minako's candid personal thoughts and feelings surrounding her illness.

The fact that Minako passed away in Act 47 before the album was officially released to the public... my friend @greenyoshi72 said Minako wrote her own requiem... 😭

[lele5429]

Retired Assets - Story and Art Master Post

Story (Read the tags!)

Ch1: Prologue

Ch2: The Cold Within

Ch3: The Fire Won’t Light Itself

Ch4: Blind

Ch5: I Will Not Leave You

Ch6: Broken Things Can Be Mended Anew

Ch7: Home (Coming Soon)

Ch8: (Act 1 Finale)

AO3 main page

Art

Illustrations for the Story (by Lele)

THE TITLE PAGE (Key Visual) - I’ve finished it but I’ll post it with the finale.

Ex Libris (book plate)

Ch 2: The Cold Within

Ch 4: Blind

Ch 5: I Will Not Leave You and Never Alone

Character Design and Sketches

A Precursor to RA Ravio: fanart for @shirley-99

The first drawing of RA Ravio

RA Ravio's costume design (spoiler-free)

ALBW vs LU vs RA Ravio designs

LU Ravio vs RA Ravio - comparison and design notes

RA Ravio in a more naturalistic style (first attempt)

RA Ravio smiles and Part 2

LU Legend vs RA Legend

Love transcends the veil of absence

RA Legend in a more naturalistic style (first attempt)

RA Ravio (TW: blood)

Ravio and Sheerow for an art challenge

Tagaki Ravio profile pic

Art Process

THE TITLE PAGE (Key Visual Time Lapse)

Key Visual - inking

Ch 2: The Cold Within - scrapped designs

Drawing Eyes

Ch 4: Blind - time lapse

Ch 5: “Never Alone” - scrapped designs

Unrelated dark Ravio

Artistic Responses/Art Gifts

Discussing the Script by @moonriver080

The Burning Bridge by @moonriver080

Emoticons ft. The cast @violet-xd09

Emoticons Part 2 @violet-xd09

Ravio’s magic and smile @violet-xd09

Illustrations for Ch3 @violet-xd09

Nursery AU @violet-xd09 and Part 2

Ravio in the headlights by @violet-xd09

Ravio Tegaki by @wardingshout

Ravio mural by @hero-of-fortune

Disaster bunny and his faces by @violet-xd09

Drawing faces (art challenge) with @violet-xd09

MS paint and Tegaki Ravio blorbo @violet-xd09

Mid-Autumn Festival @violet-xd09

Under Her Favourite Apple Tree by 枭柏

Innocent RA Ravio by @whatvioletdoes-blog

RA Ravio’s 2024 Halloween costume by @violet-xd09

A Happy Fic by @lennsart

Trick or Treat/New Year @wardingshout

Bonus

Memes / Crack / Fluff (my art!)

Ravio wants you to stop and read the warning tags

Ravio with STOP sign animated

Disaster Bunny

Going to work with your landlord?

Get-along Shirt

PAY NO RENT

Why does RA Ravio fear Hilda?

Blue Potions

To Heaven

Jet lag

Legend explains things to Ravio (Ch4)

Self care or draw 25 and Part 2

RA Ravio ™️

Nope/Yep

Goodnight Ojousama

Account Deleted

Nothing is perfect

Ch 6 Teaser and Part 2

Drawing with my eyes closed

Babies need a hug

Why dis bun look so mad 😭

Working Properties - Retired Assets Actors AU

Take a break

No work

Trick or treat

Chibi

Ravio hugging Sheerow

Legend ╭(°A°`)╮

Sticker Pack #1

Poster Pose

Happy Fable

The Cold Within but Chibi

Apple juice

Hilda reading Ravio’s diary

Hilda Boop

Nursery AU (The Cast as Kids)

Nursery AU - first drawing

Kid!Ravio tries lemons

Crafts

Linocut: RA Ravio

Linocut: RA Legend

Prints ft. the RA leads, signed and framed

PAY NO RENT: heat-transfer vinyl T-shirt

Lasercut on wood: some keychains and tickets by @moonriver080

Button-making (with a sneak peek of additional memes)

Ravio’s robe and scarf (cosplay)

Bracelets inspired by LU characters

Stamp

Shaker charms and Part 2

Sheerow doll (by Alex Lynn crafts)

RA Ravio sleep mask

ID Cover

Q&A

Search for #retired assets ask game

Ravio character notes [1]

[bleue-flora]

So um, in light of my last post I was inspired to look into other dsmp people's ages because I feel like we don’t really think about it too often and oh does it make things interesting…

Just for reference and consideration, here are some United States Legal Age Minimums:

Drive: 16-18

Adult: 18-21

Vote: 18

Drink Alcohol: 21

Political Office: 25 (Representative) 30 (Senator) 35 (President)

Military: 17-18

Also Note: On average, the brain is scientifically still developing key executive functions of adolescence until around 25 - and oh wouldn't you know it 90% of the server fall under that, meaning no wonder we have a bunch of wars their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed and wouldn't you know it that part of the brain is responsible for regulating attention, behavior, and emotion as well as the processing that Actions Have Consequences... huh whelp that makes sense.

Anyways… age data is below (I didn't do everyone nor every event - nobody got time for that ;D... I didn't have time for this to begin with lol...) But I specifically want to highlight that not only was Dream 21 from Jan-Aug of his Imprisonment, but Sam was also 21 till Jun, and Quackity was literally 20 while he was daily torturing Dream... 20?! They were roughly a year apart, all of them so close. Like can you imagine, treating your peer like that? Sam is like a couple months older than Dream and that's it. Quackity can't even drink legally in the United States. That's insane...

(* to signify canonical Immortality)

Ok, so the full list of members and ages is at the bottom, but first, here are some key events I picked just to highlight their ages at the time.

Server Creation - April 24, 2020

GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Dream - 20 Sapnap - 19

L'Manberg War - August 2, 2020

BadBoyHalo - 25 WilburSoot - 23 GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Eret - 21 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 20 Fundy - 20 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 17 Purpled - 16 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Pogtopia vs Manberg War - November 16th, 2020

Philza - 32* BadBoyHalo - 25 HBomb - 26 WilburSoot - 24 GeorgeNotFound - 24 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Karl Jacobs -22 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Connor - 21 Schlatt - 21 Fundy - 21 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Exile - December 4, 2020

Ghostbur - 24 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Doomsday - January 6, 2021

Philza - 32* HBomb - 27 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Fundy - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16

Disc Confrontation - January 20, 2021

HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 23 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 22 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16

Quackity’s First Prison Visit - March 16, 2021

Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Quackity - 20

Techno's Visit- June 6, 2021

Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21

Jailbreak - November 28, 2021

Philza - 33* HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 26 George - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 24 Karl Jacobs - 23 Antfrost - 23 CaptainPuffy - 23 Foolish Gamers - 22 Eret - 22 Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 22 Dream - 22 Connor - 22 Fundy - 22 Skeppy - 21 Hannahxxrose - 21 Ponk - 21 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 20 Niki Nihachu - 20 Jack Manifold - 19 Purpled - 18 Ranboo - 18 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 17

Comprehensive List From Oldest to Youngest: Name - Date of Birth (Current Age) - [Join Date] Age when Joined

Philza- March 1, 1988 (36) – [Nov 16, 2020]  32 *Immortal*

HBomb- Jan 4, 1994 (30) – [Sept 22, 2020]  26

BadBoyHalo- April 2, 1995 (28) – [May 19, 2020]  25

Wilbur- Sept 14, 1996 (27) – [July 12, 2020] 23

GeorgeNotFound- Nov 1, 1996 (27) – [April 24, 2020]  23

Callahan- Jan 19, 1997 (27) – [April 24, 2020]  23 

Punz- Jan 31, 1997 (27) – [July 7, 2020]  23  

Karl Jacobs- July 19, 1998 (25) – [Aug 26, 2020]  22 

Antfrost- Aug 27, 1998 (25) – [Sep 5, 2020]  22 

Captain Puffy- Sept 18, 1998 (25) – [Nov 16, 2020]  22

Foolish Gamers- Dec 18, 1998 (25) – [Jan 16, 2021]  22 *Immortal*

Eret- Jan 9, 1999 (25) – [July 19, 2020]  21

Technoblade- June 1, 1999 (23) – [Sept 22, 2020]  21 *Immortal*

Awesamdude - June 8, 1999 (24) – [April 28, 2020]  20 

Dream - Aug 12, 1999 (24) – [April 24, 2020]  20

Connor- Aug 26, 1999 (24) – [Nov 16, 2020]  21

Schlatt- Sept 10, 1999 (24) – [Sept 20, 2020]  21 

Fundy- Oct 10, 1999 (24) – [July 7, 2020]  20 

Skeppy- Jan 17, 2000 (24) – [July 18, 2020]  20 

Ponk- April 18, 2000 (23) – [May 7, 2020]  20 

Quackity- Dec 28, 2000 (23) – [Aug 11, 2020]  19 

Sapnap- March 1, 2001 (23) – [April 24, 2020]  19 

Niki Nihachu- Nov 3, 2001 (22) – [Aug 6, 2020]  18 

Jack Manifold- Aug 14, 2002 (21) – [Aug 3, 2020]  17 

Purpled- Oct 24, 2003 (20) – [July 9, 2020]  16

Ranboo- Nov 2, 2003 (20) – [Nov 17, 2020]  17 

Tubbo- Dec 23, 2003 (20) – [July 7, 2020]  16 

Tommy- April 9, 2004 (19) – [July 4, 2020]  16 

They are all babies confirmed... things make so much more sense... brain development guys it's important ;)

[shadowisles-writes]

High Society 🎩 Elucien Week Day 4

A/N: I struggled hard with finding ideas for today’s prompt and eventually settled for focusing on Lucien’s heritage as a future High Lord. I've been reading angst lately so you’ll have to forgive me for incorporating that in my writing today! I swear it gets happy… eventually. (Apologies for typos I wrote this one in a rush <3) And thank you @damedechance for your help on this one!!

Word count: 2955

@elucienweekofficial

The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed At all costs, keep your good name You don’t get to tell me you feel bad. - Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me, Taylor Swift

Heir to the Day Court. That was who he was, not Beron’s failure of a seventh son, nor the Spring Court courtier who had abandoned his post and turned over to the court that should have been his enemy. Lucien huffed a laugh that was almost a sob and lifted the bottle of liquor to his lips.

The ceiling of his childhood bedroom hadn’t changed, it was still the same sage green he had picked so many years ago. A soothing color, his mother had smiled at his choice at the time, but it only seemed to mock him now. There was nothing soothing about the Autumn Court and the smell of damp leaves, or the forest green curtains he used to hide behind when Beron was in one of his moods.

Beron was dead, but the entire place still had Lucien on edge since he had stepped foot in it. Only the steady stream of alcohol infusing into his blood with every gulp relaxed him enough to lay back on the old carpet and stare at the ceiling as he tried and failed to process everything that had happened.

A knock came on the door, followed by the still familiar squeak of the hinges. “Lucien,” his mother said his name with a softness he hadn’t heard in years.

“Get out,” he gritted out, pushing up on his elbow just enough to be able to take two heavy gulps of the liquor. The bottle was getting too close to empty, but he’d fix that when he found the energy to care about something other than making himself numb.

“I’m sorry,” she walked in anyway, the black of her skirts visible from the corner of his eye when she took a seat at the foot of his bed.

Mourning clothes. Lucien almost barked a laugh. Was anyone in this court truly mourning that monster? Or were they all still putting on a show for no one’s benefit? He kept himself silent, though, knowing better than to snap at his mother after she took the brunt of Beron’s wrath for his sons more times than any of them would ever know. Except Lucien wasn’t Beron’s son, he was a bastard who had never belonged to this court in the first place.

His mother shifted and cleared her throat, “Lucien, you have to understand—”

“Get out!” He interrupted before she could explain anything.

Lucien didn’t care for explanations, not when he had lived his whole life as a lie, not when the entire room was spinning around him. His mother said nothing more, but he heard her sharp breath in response to his anger before she got up and left him alone to wallow. Being alone was what he was used to, anyway. Everyone around him had some sort of family, some sort of unbreakable friendship, but Lucien was alone.

His own mate didn’t want him. His human friends were happier when they were left alone to fuck all over their little house. Tamlin would never forgive him. Feyre might never forgive him either, after all that had happened to her, and the rest of her court only tolerated him because she handed out the invitations.

A wave of self-disgust washed over him and made his stomach churn. It took one spasm of his body for Lucien to surge up and into the bathroom, where he fell to his knees and emptied his guts into the toilet bowl.

“A little pathetic for a future High Lord, don’t you think?” Eris said from somewhere behind him.

He must have been more inebriated than he thought if he hadn’t heard him come in, but Eris had always been skilled at sneaking up on people. It was something all the Vanserras were good at, after being raised in a house where they were constantly walking on eggshells. Except Lucien wasn’t a Vanserra, of course.

“Fuck you,” Lucien managed before the rest of the alcohol had to make its way out of his stomach.

Eris made a disgusted noise and Lucien would have cursed at him again if he could. When he was done, his chest shuddered with a couple of breaths before he deemed it safe to sit with his back against the edge of the tub.

“What do you want?” He asked Eris as he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

“You don’t think you’re being a little dramatic?” His half brother leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest like he had any power to scold him.

Eris might have just become High Lord, but he was the asshole Lucien grew up around before anything else.

“I wish I’d thrown up on your shoes,” he said. His head was still spinning, and he could barely keep his eyes focused on anything. Closing them made the spinning worse, which forced Lucien to sort of squint as he waited for the feeling to pass.

“Classy,” Eris rolled his eyes. “And a great way to speak to the High Lord you’ll have to ally with someday,”

“Helion’s nowhere near death,” Lucien reached for the edge of the toilet bowl in anticipation of another wave of nausea, “Or are you planning on killing every father figure in my life?”

“Like anyone in this damn house wanted to see Beron alive for another minute.” Eris cursed and gagged quietly as Lucien threw up again, mostly dry heaving over the toilet bowl because as sick as he felt, there was nothing left in his stomach. “Get your shit together,”

“Get my—” Lucien’s words got cut off by another fit of nausea. “Fuck you,” was all he managed to croak as he settled against the bathtub again.

“All I’m saying is—”

“Fuck you,” Lucien interrupted again and watched the tips of Eris’ ears turn red with anger. Nothing like a little brother—half-brother—to get on his nerves. “It’s only been hours why can’t you just let me—” fall apart, would probably have been the rest of his sentence if something hadn’t clicked in his brain at that moment.

The room briefly stopped spinning, and Lucien pushed himself to sit up straight. “You weren’t even surprised.” Anger bubbled inside of him, heightened by the alcohol still coursing through him.

“Lucien,” Eris said his name like a warning, and it was all he needed to confirm what he had already guessed.

“You knew,” he accused. “How long?”

“It’s not that simple,”

Lucien was yelling now, “How fucking long?”

His broken voice rang in his ears, making his head hurt as his question was only met by silence. Since he was born, then. Lucien wished he could be sick again so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at Eris.

“So you, and mother.” Lucien croaked. “Who else?”

“No one else,” Eris answered quickly, this time. “Beron pretended not to know, it would have been a public embarrassment.”

“And what’s your excuse?”

Eris had the decency to look uncomfortable for a passing moment before he crouched in front of Lucien and handed him a damp towel. “Do you think he would have let her live, if anyone else knew?”

“Helion could have made himself useful,”

“You’re an idealistic fool if you believe there was anything he could have done for her. There are laws—”

“What about me?” Lucien seethed. “What about telling me that there was somewhere I could have gone that wouldn’t have to be fucking exile,”

“Tamlin was your friend,”

“Tamlin has the same anger issues Beron does, you’re the fool if you believe depending on him was a good thing.” Eris quieted at that, and something almost like pity shone in his eyes. It was enough to enrage Lucien once again. “And fuck you,” he grasped the first thing near him to throw at Eris.

His aim was shit when he was drunk, but he was close to his target and the bar of soap made a dull thud against Eris’ head.

“You little—”

“Get out!” Lucien yelled with enough anger that Eris simply stood up straight, kicked the soap out of his path and strode out of the room without another word.

Finally alone. Lucien’s eyes fluttered shut, then opened once again to squint when the spinning in his head became too much. It was uncomfortable enough to make him groan, but anything was better than being sober and having to deal with all of his feelings. Hopefully with enough silence, he’d find just enough strength to winnow out of this nightmare of a court before the sun rose again.

Choosing where to go was more of a dilemma when Lucien could stand again. He had washed the scent of alcohol from his skin, but he still felt like he’d gotten run over by several horses when he stepped out of the wards of the house and winnowed away from Autumn.

For the first time since he had started working for the Night Court, he abused his privilege and ability to get through the shields of Feyre’s home without warning. He barged into the living room in the middle of their afternoon, finding her and her mate sitting on the floor with their child. The last time he had been here, Nyx was crawling all over the floor, now, he was taking small steps in between his parents.

“Lucien!” Feyre exclaimed as she scooped her son up in her arms and stood. “We didn’t expect you today, what brings you here? You look—”

“Like shit,” Rhysand finished for his wife before she could find a nicer way to phrase it.

“Rhys!” She hissed as she covered the child’s ears, but it was already too late.

“Shit!” Nyx exclaimed with a laugh. When Rhys couldn’t contain his own chuckle, he did it again. “Shit!”

“Oh gods,” Feyre glared at her husband and adjusted the wriggling child on her hip.

“I need to know how long you’ve known,” Lucien interrupted their little family scene with more venom than necessary.

Rhys picked up on his anger and seamlessly threw a shield around his child and wife. “Known about what?” He asked Lucien calmly and took a small step to set himself in front of his family.

“About Helion being my father.”

The thud of a brutish Illyrian landing just outside the window had become familiar enough to Lucien that he didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. “Really?” He rolled his eyes at Feyre. “I come here for a conversation and this is what you do?”

“Sorry,” she cringed.

“No we’re not,” Rhys crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey there little Vanserra,” Cassian grinned as he walked into the scene, knowingly using the name Lucien hated without realizing how big of a slip it was that day.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop using that one,” Lucien didn’t bother greeting him back. “Apparently, it’s Spell-Cleaver now.”

“What?” Cassian looked over at Rhys, and a few beats passed as they conversed silently.

Lucien threw his hands up and began to pace the length of the room. “At least one person was as surprised as me by this whole mess.”

“I guessed it,” Feyre admitted. “It was during the war and we had so much going on, I didn’t know how to tell you.”

That stopped him in his tracks with a sarcastic laugh. “It’s wonderful how many excuses everyone has been able to make up about this in the past few days.”

“What do you want us to say?” Rhys asked, still calm as ever.

“Feyre, what in the world is—” Elain stopped in her tracks halfway down the stairs. “Lucien,” she greeted with a nod as her cheeks turned bright red.

She seemed to hesitate between running back up or walking the rest of the way down for several seconds before she settled on joining everyone in the living room.

“My lady,” Lucien murmured and pulled himself together enough to bow.

“Well it’s a party now,” Cassian coughed out, though a glare from Feyre was enough to shut him up. If anything, he should be the one to empathize with a male struggling to get attention from his mate.

“Well,” Feyre said. “Why don’t we all sit down for some tea?”

Lucien—who had shown up for answers but with absolutely no plan of what to do next—couldn’t refuse even if there was nothing he wanted less. He stood there, as Cassian sprawled himself in one of the chairs while Feyre left the room and Rhys busied himself with his son.

“Are you alright?” A small hand rested on his arm, and Lucien froze. “You look…”

“I’m sorry,” he tried to tuck strands of hair that fell in his face back to look pulled together, but he was still a mess. “I am alright, thank you for asking.”

“Come,” she gave his sleeve a slight tug and disappeared into the corridor without anyone else noticing.

Either Rhys was now ignoring him, or he was done considering him a threat, because he didn’t even glance up as Lucien slipped away after his mate until they were in the sunlight between the rose bushes of her garden. Feeling the warmth of it on his skin soothed him enough for him to take a deep breath, but something was tight in his chest as he remained aware of his mate watching his every move.

“Better than having to sit in there for tea, isn’t it?” Elain brushed her fingers over one of the roses.

“Yes, thank you,” Lucien had always loved nature, he felt at his best when he was outside, and he should have known that winnowing from house to house couldn’t do him any good.

“You don’t look alright,” she eventually looked up from her flowers to let her gaze run over him.

Lucien did the same, starting at his feet to take in the wrinkles in his usually immaculate clothes. He didn’t need a mirror to know his face was hardly any better with the hangover headache still pounding at his temples.

“I just found out that the High Lord of the Day Court and my mother had an affair, and that my existence is the result of it,” he dropped the news without ceremony and watched Elain’s eyes widen as she stilled. “You didn’t know,” he could tell her surprise was genuine and she shook her head.

“Of course not, how would I have known that?”

 Lucien tried for a smile, but it felt more like a grimace. “Apparently, your sister and her mate found out long before I did.”

“And they said nothing?” Elain’s question was soon answered by his silence. “I’m sorry, that must be… do you know what you’re going to do now?”

“Not a single idea,” he shrugged and meant for it to be casual, but it only made her look more worried.

“Does Helion know?”

“I don’t know that either,”

Elain nodded and smoothed her hands down her dress. “That could be a good place to start, if you’re ready to find out.”

Lucien picked a leaf off a bush and sighed, “I can’t just waltz into his court and—”

“Your court,” Elain corrected.

“What?”

“It’s your court.” She repeated. “I’ve watched you bounce from one place to another for months… what if this is where you’re supposed to go?”

And there it was, the one fear that had brought Lucien to the Night Court instead of Day.  “But what if it’s not?”

“I may not know you very well,” Elain started hesitantly, “But I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong anywhere. The Day Court could be worth a try, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Start a diplomatic incident between the court I’m emissary for and the one I should supposedly belong to?” Lucien guessed.

A soft laugh escaped her lips, and that sound alone might have been enough to put his heart back together. “Feyre and Rhysand are good friends with Helion, I doubt he’d cause any trouble regarding that.”

“You sound like you know him too,”

“I’ve been to his court,” Elain admitted. “He’s very nice, and it’s a beautiful place.”

“You’re right, I should go,” Lucien sighed. “But what if he did know?”

She walked a few steps ahead of him, deeper into the garden and around the house, where a wooden bench waited for her to sit on. “I doubt it, I know a feeling is not much to work from but… I don’t know, I really don’t think he does.”

“Elain,” Lucien looked amused as he took the spot next to her. “You’re a Seer, I’d trust your feelings.”

“I, ah, I’m still not sure what that’s supposed to mean,” Elain shrugged and adjusted the fabric of her dress on her lap. “I tried to find out more, in the library, but it hasn’t been that helpful.”

“Have you tried the Day Court? It is known for its scholars and collection of knowledge, I’m sure someone could help you there,”

At that, she actually laughed. “I thought I was trying to convince you to go.”

“Maybe we should both go,” Lucien said before he could stop himself, and Elain quickly looked away from him to stare in the distance instead.

“Lucien…”

Her gaze had fallen to her lap, and he immediately regretted his lack of filter. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You should go, find out what you need to, and maybe… if you stay, maybe I could come visit, in a little while,” Elain met his eyes again, something like hope shining on her face.

It was subtle, but it was there, and for the first time in weeks Lucien genuinely smiled. “I would like that, wherever I am.”

[definitelynotamhafan]

Bound (Fear pt.4)

You were choking. Fire, water, whatever it was, shoving itself down your throat in the void. You wanted to scream, but nothing came. It wasn’t painful. If it was, you would’ve pushed the god off of you long ago.

Atum-Ra’s burning hot hands gripping your throat, and then, kiss after kiss, brought you back. And then fire lit your blood up, flaring inside your veins. Your fingers clutched onto the creator’s hair, pulling and tugging as your own lips sought life into his own. Kisses after kisses, more and more heat sparked your souls.

“Amheh.” Your name, off of his tongue. “You’ll never leave me, right? You promise?”

The heat pounding in your head, along with the lightheaded feeling which his addictive lips gave you, barely allowed you to process his words. But when you did, you barely managed to slur out a:

“Never.”

Before white hot, searing pleasure brought its tendrils around you again, as Atum-Ra’s hips molded into yours for the nth time that night.

It felt so good. So right, up until you’d felt his warm smile fade, into a psychotic grin.

“Swear it. Amheh. Amheh. Amheh! AM-“

___

“-HEH!” Seth’s voice startled you awake as you jolted up, sweating and panting.

“M’ awake! ‘m awake!- ow.” Your head hit the wooden beam of Seth’s bed with a smack.

“You alright? You were screaming in your sleep.” His voice took on a teasing tone as you rubbed your head in absolute silence.

Great. Even in your sleep you couldn’t escape your filthy and possessive ex.

“M’fine…” you mumbled, voice sore and hoarse with grogginess.

You sat up, propping your back off of the cold floor with a hand, the floor on which you had insisted to sleep on the night before, assuring Seth that beds were of no comfort for you, since you used to sleep on obsidian slabs and in pools of hot molten lava. You may or may not have regretted that decision, because you definitely felt your back crack with a wince.

“Told you.” He said, as if knowing what you were thinking. “Was it good?”

“Was what good?” You shot back as you pulled yourself together hard enough to stand up.

“The sex.”

You almost choked on your own spit, wheezing out a: “JESUS CHRIST.”

“Who?”

“Nevermind.” You answered, shrugging off his confusion. “And that.” You said, referring to your private affairs. “Is none of your business.”

Seth’s smirk only tugged up further, turning even as smug as possible, for someone who’d gotten carried to bed by yours truly.

“C’mooooon. I heard you.” He teased. “Oh, Ra, please! Harder~! Harder~!”

You grabbed a nearby pillow and smacked him on the head.

“Bold words coming from you, Mr. I-fell-asleep-on-the-couch-so-Amheh-can-carry-me-like-the-princess-I-am!” You retorted, frowning.

After the entire charade involving hiding from Horus in antique pottery you had stayed up late, enjoying Seth’s yapping about other gods, laughing at how he mocked them and trash talked them, and eventually ended up watching him doze off on the couch. You had carried him back to bed, and when he stirred awake, he had tried to persuade you into joining him, which you refused. Multiple times.

He may have been one of the only people you’d be close enough to consider family, but that didn’t mean you trusted him any more than the venomous viper Ra was. For all you could know, this could’ve been a setup, to get you to admit to the crimes you’d been accused of.

“What’s your deal?” You suddenly blurted out.

“What?” Seth asked, suddenly confused.

“Why are you here?” You questioned, raising a brow. “Didn’t the council curse you to be a demigod? Last I checked, demigods don’t have temples, let alone ones this big-“

“How do you know about that?” He asked, suddenly aggressive. His eyes drifted to yours, blood red eyes meeting your light speckled ones.

“Oh please. You think I’m stupid? Even I, on my millennia long trip, managed to hear what kind of crap you shoved yourself into.” You chastised, half mocking, half annoyed.

“To answer your question, I was a god once.” He retorted, mirroring your tone.

“Was.” You corrected.

“…” he paused. “Your point?” His brow quirked, lips pursing together in annoyance.

“Why would Ra let you keep your temple? Let me tell you this. She wouldn’t.” You said, suddenly suspicious of him. “Did she set this up?”

“What do you take me for?! A fool?” Seth suddenly jumped, like an aggressive hound at the throat of a hare. “Of course not!”

You went silent, but eyed him suspiciously as you sat back down. He was too jumpy. Too quick to shut you down. Something was up.

Silence. It was deafening. It filled your mind, flitting and jumping in between traitorous thoughts and excuses for not believing him. It wasn’t the quiet, serene silence. No. It was the kind which upheld tension, almost suffocating when your brain’s buzzing with so many questions.

“Are you hungry?” Seth asked, breaking this silence.

“What?”

Seth? Offering you food? That was new. But then again, everything was new. You’d been gone millennia. He could’ve changed…

“Don’t make me ask again.”

Nevermind. He’s still the same angry sandcat he once was.

“I won’t.” You replied, defiantly.

“Fine.”

“Fine!” You insisted.

“Fine!” He mirrored.

Silence, again. This wasn’t how you wanted to start your day. In fact, you didn’t even feel like staying in his room anymore.

“I’m going out.” You said suddenly, standing up abruptly, getting ready to leave.

“No.” Seth refused.

“What do you mean, no?“ you whipped around to face him.

“I mean no. You’re not leaving. You’re supposed to be under my surveillance, remember?”

Oh great. Just great. This was what you needed. And it only fed your suspicions further. He may have only wanted to help, but knowing Seth…. There was also an ulterior motive.

“Too bad, sandcat.” You answered, heading for the door.

“What did you just call me?” He asked, stopping you in your tracks, his teasing smile gone, like the moon behind a cloud.

“Sandcat. It’s only fair that I get to call you that since you mistook me for that bastard Heh.” You stated, moving towards the exit, again.

“Cute. But still no.” He said coldly.

A wisp of sand coiled around your foot, keeping you pinned. He had. You knew that much. Demigod or no, his control over sand was much too better than any demigod you’ve encountered. That means, someone had granted him a temporary godhood. And you had a few people in mind.

“Seth.” You said firmly. “Let me go.”

He took in a deep breath, rubbing his hand through his long red hair.

“I can’t.”

You knew he couldn’t, for you could finally see the marking on his lower back. A small eye, in a thin circlet of sun rays, representing your one and only Sun god.

“You lied.” You stated.

“I did.” He replied, smirking sadly.

You paused. Your mind spiraling into too many questions and thoughts of betrayal.

“How much?” You asked. “How much do you have to keep me here, for you to gain your whatever he- she promised you?”

Seth went silent, his lips pressing into a thin line, he looked at you, and then at anything but you.

“A fortnight.” He answered.

Shit.

HEYYY GUYS. SO SORRY I HAVEN’T POSTED IN SO LONG, I’ve just been busy with school stuff and catching up on some missing assignments! Hope you enjoyed this part, and I’ll make sure to try and write the next two parts faster!