#QUILTBAG+

[silly-fox-and-its-stuffies]

im passing out bracelets at pride on Saturday so I kinda want an idea of how popular each will be, I know it'll be different on Tumblr than irl but it still gives me a better idea (also yes I was gonna make aro and ace and agender and flags with gray but I dont have gray currently)

[sleepyleftistdemon]

(CW: mental health issues, gender dysphoria, disassociation, suicidal thoughts (and actual suicides), and maybe more)

I've been thinking about putting up my story for Pride Month. I started typing in this whole thing in someone else's post, but I didn't want to hijack it. (Although it was talking about some of the stuff I am putting here.)

Some background:

I was a military brat growing up. That means that I moved around a lot. That means that I didn't have the same groups of people around me, except for my parents and sister. Therefore, nobody could recognize my issues since most people thought it was just the way I was.

I am on the autism spectrum. That means (for this stuff at least) that I don't really do self-reflection well. Add that to the above point and... yeah.

Because I wasn't diagnosed with autism, my parents thought I was weird, weak, and an idiot. Oh they didn't say anything like that, but you could tell that's what they thought. I heard "You're old enough to know better" so many times. But I never caused major issues, so they thought that I would always do what they said.

When I was in single digits (1970s), every time I took a bath I would spend time trying to shove my p*nis back into my body. It didn't belong. So I was already experiencing gender dysphoria even back then.

I was miserable and without a reason I could recognize (not having heard of trans people). "Fortunately" while still in single digits, I found a character on a TV show that knew how to handle negative emotions. The show was "Star Trek", the character was Mr. Spock, and the method was repression.

So I was okay for a while.

In 10th grade, repression turned into (undiagnosed) depression, something else that nobody (including me) recognized. I thought it was perfectly normal to think about suicide when I had homework to do.

(I even remember the assignment that was the last straw. It was to write a romantic scene for English class. I wrote a note on it, telling the teacher I never wanted to see it again. She thought it was about how bad it was. I didn't tell her that it triggered me.)

After high school, I joined the military. It wasn't because I wanted to or anything like that. My parents wanted me to join and, with my depression, I really didn't care what I did.

After serving 4 years, I went to college. I was struggling a bit, so I went to get tested for ADHD at the student health center. (I had read up on it, including how a lot of people with ADHD were mistakenly diagnosed with depression. Ironic, really, because...)

I was diagnosed with disthymia, a chronic, low-grade depression. I got medication (Zoloft) and tried therapy. Since I was repressing and didn't realize it, I got nothing out of therapy, but the Zoloft worked enough for me to function.

Imagine, if you will, a wooden boat with a figurehead (me) on the bow. (Is that the right word? If not, deal with it.) Before the Zoloft, the boat builders put the figurehead almost completely underwater. I would come up for air, but it was difficult. After the Zoloft, it was like the workers moved the figurehead right at the waterline. I would have good and bad times, but they were all still under a cloud of depression.

Speaking of imagining things, do you remember the tiny alien controlling/riding in the robot in the movie "Men In Black"? Another thing that I did (and since I don't know when I started, so I'm just gonna put it here) was I pictured something similar like that for me. Except instead of picturing myself as an alien, I pictured myself as a small piece of dimmed light "no bigger than a flake of dandruff". (And I put those words in quotes because that is the exact wording I used.)

That, BTW, is called disassociation.

I the 2000s I got married to a woman that my parents hated. My parents disowned me because I wouldn't divorce her, thinking it would shock me enough to do what they wanted. Instead I disowned them right back by changing my last name and didn't attempt to contact them again.

My dad died in 2010. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he probably killed himself due to having early onset dementia.

After that, my mom got into more regular contact with me. She lived until her suicide in 2016. (She had bipolar disorder and I learned later that she had attempted suicide earlier. And that both of my parents cheated on each other during their marriage.) My ex-wife (yes, we did divorce but not because of my parents; she was hooked on opiods and had Borderline Personality Disorder) died the same year.

(I tried to get her (ex-wife) help, but she didn't want to change. After being left at work since she had the car AND finding her passed out on the toilet with drugs she got less than 2 hours before she was supposed to come get me, I had had enough.)

Anyway, that gave me a date where I felt I could commit suicide. I would be able to live a day longer than either of my parents (who I said saw me as weak), thus proving that I am stronger than they were while still not having to deal with my depression forever.

You know what saved me? One of the posts I read here on Tumblr a while back. The original post said that like women who buy fake p*nises, men can buy fake breasts. A reply to that post said that many men who bought those turned out to be trans.

I really didn't think that I was trans. I ordered fake breasts from Amazon and tried them out. They seemed great, but they weren't an actual part of me.

I wrestled with the thought that I might be trans. I asked myself if I was a woman if I'd still want to die. (The answer, BTW, was no.)

It wasn't until 2 months later that I went to a nail salon and got my nails painted that I experienced gender euphoria. Using the figurehead imagery from above, it was like the figurehead was at the top of the bow, riding proudly on the ship. Instead of seeing myself as smaller than the flake of dandruff, I pictured myself as a gingerbread woman inside the shell of a gingerbread man (keep this in mind).

It also reminded me of the single digits me in the bathtub, miserable without the words to say why. Repression sucks.

Since I am a veteran (and since it's cheaper than health insurance), I get my healthcare from the VA. I talked it over with the psychologist (or psychiatrist - whichever one can prescribe medicine). It took a while (mainly to get me comfortable with it) to see an endocrinologist. (Well, first I had to see a therapist to answer questions to make sure I was a good fit. When I brought up the gingerbread visual, she said that many trans people use the gingerbread imagery to help describe what they're feeling.)

So in May of 2024 (last month from when I posted this), I finally started on HRT. And while my depression is starting to creep back in (HRT doesn't work overnight), I realize that I am finally on the right path for me and my happiness.

(Of course, with all of the new transphobic laws and such coming into effect, this is also a stressful path. But it's the only way for me to go.)

I do hope this helps people, whether to know they aren't alone (for people still in their egg) or to help the transphobic people out there to see that trans people are just people, trying their best to get through life as painlessly as possible.

[summer2winter-comic]

SUMMER TO WINTER [Page 1] “Public Library Meet-cute” PART 1

AAAAAHH! Remember I said last (very short) episode was the hardest to color? THIS WAS MUCH WORSE.

Page 2

Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6 END OF PART 1

"Public Library Meet-cute" Part 2 will debut next week!

[bisexualenby27]

These are some cartoons I saw from a friend.They are so cute!

[sleepyleftistdemon]

I figured out I am trans about 2 years ago. (I'm in my mid-50's now.)

(It took so long because, even though the signs were there, I am on the autism spectrum and have been repressing my emotions since I was in single digits.)

I knew it was International Women's Day today because my morning routine on my Google Assistant plays This Day In History. And TDIH talked about it.

I didn't connect it to me, though. Not until I read this post (in Bugs's "distinguished" voice, of course).

Now I know what happy tears feel like...

[monstrousmaws]

This should be a Trans anthem smh

[lynsstrange]

Forget “main character” “comic relief” etc I’m the character who’s sexuality is never confirmed but fans post screenshots of with captions like “no way this mf is straight”

[fragrant-stars]

You know what happy pride to the detransitioners who still identify in some way or other as "not cishet".

Happy pride to he/him lesbians, boygirls, and other people with ""contradictory"" identities.

Happy pride to aroace people, bi people and polyamorous people, along with everyone else the panderers and gatekeepers try to alienate from the community.

Happy pride to all the closeted and questioning people out there.

You're loved, you matter, and you belong, whoever you are.

[silly-fox-and-its-stuffies]

okay okay I know all the AI sucks and never use Chat GPT or anything because AI has no soul but like-

(I only asked out of curiosity of what the response would be, obviously we deserve rights)

[sleepyleftistdemon]

America's bullies, aka the MAGA cult, are converging their hatred and bigotry around the immigrant community, non-Christians, poor folks, the elderly, the sick, folks with disabilities, the LGBTQIA+ community, people of color, and yes, people who identify as trans.

Let me say this loudly to the people in the back of the room. We support all gender identities and sexual orientations. You matter. Don't let any fool criticize you. Dale Carnegie once said, "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do." However foolish these folks are about disliking others, they are also dangerous. Look at your history books, and you will see that othering leads to all things fascist.

We must push back against all attempts to divide us. We must stand united and have each other's backs.

[sleepyleftistdemon]

When I was in the single-digits in the 1970's, I didn't have a name for it, nor did I know that it was normal (for a trans person) to feel like I didn't like my genitalia.

Unfortunately, the way I dealt with it was emotional repression.

Now in my mid-50s, I am starting to realize that I was emotionally repressing for decades, that I am trans, and that I probably need therapy in addition to transitioning.

[summer2winter-comic]

Page 7 - SUMMER TO WINTER “Public Library Meet-cute” Part 2

Page 8

Page 9 - Once my fellow writer friend and beta reader suggested I change the panels placement of this page (I had 4 panels- 2 on top, 2 on bottom), moving the first panel to Page 8, I now had too much white space. Even before coloring, I wondered what to fill in the background for Yanina and Dunlop. Also, I struggle with backgrounds, crowds, and vehicles, so imagine my delight that FireAlpaca, the software I use for coloring and putting in special effects helped me with the high windows, ceiling lights, tall book cases, and the crowds of teachers and educators!

Page 10 - I have seen when folks' hair frizzes out in surprise but I've seen fewer examples when it comes to Black hair. Thank goodness comics are becoming more inclusive!

Page 11 - Has anybody else had a slip of the tongue when you run into a former authority figure, and you feel so familiar with that person, you end up saying something out of turn? Oh. Just me? O-Ok.

Page 12 - Those facial and word balloon blushies and surrounding hearts Are RIDICULOUS. I also changed Yanina's inner monologue and Dunlop asking for consent before he hugs her and gives her a peck on the cheek. I felt that was important. As someone who comes from a touchy-feely culture, but who is also neuroatypical, I felt it was important to understand that while I enjoy hugs and kisses on the cheek from loved ones and peers, I know not everyone does, both neurotypical and neuroatypical, ESPECIALLY neuroatypical/neurodivergent people do not enjoy touching, even from loved ones. Brazilia knows her bounderies and Dunlop asks for consent.

Page 13 END - Hope you enjoyed this flashback episode for how Yanina's and Dunlop's reunion! We will now return to our regularly scheduled program. Happy New Comic Book Wednesday!

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

LGBTQ+ book recommendations:

. Felix Ever After - Kacen Callender

. The Art of Being Normal - Lisa Williamson

. Into the Light - Mark Oshiro

. Last Night at the Telegraph Club - Malinda Lo

. Ziggy, Stardust & Me - James Brandon

. Carry On - Rainbow Rowell

. Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

. The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

. Cemetery Boys - Aiden Thomas

. George - Alex Gino

. Rick - Alex Gino

. Camp QUILTBAG - Nicole Melleby and A.J. Sass

. The Taking of Jake Livingston - Ryan Douglass

. The Wicker King - Ancrum

[maebird-melody]

🥺 Rozemyne worrying over whether Ferdinand wants something from her that she can’t give him in a relationship is so relatable.

[farmerlesbian]

ok i know everyone has done similar versions of this poll already but i just like doing polls with my own options lol so humor me. sorry there is not room for an other button!! if you have a different fav not listed just pick one of these that's your second fav and add your fav in the tags/comments 💖

also to be clear i don't mean to highlight or prioritize any specific versions of the initialism i just have limited options in polls lol and i have all the other things i want to have available as well. there are so many possible versions and iterations i simply have to limit it. i am super curious what your favorite or what your preference is! do you use the +? do you add Q or spell it out? which letters specifically do you use? do you use one T or two? what does A stand for for you? what does Q stand for? what is the plus for? do you use a U? H? 2? what order do you put the letters?

is your fave something else? have you come up with a fun or unique or uncommon term or phrase? what do you like to use?

share in the comments n tags!