#QUEER JOY EVERYTHING IS ABOUT QUEER JOY WE DESERVE LAUGHS

[lushthemagicdragon]

Y’all, my favorite movie (Some like it Hot) got made into an AMAZING musical and I am going to be insufferable for a while, there will be no apologies. 

[andy-wm]

When Love Reveals Itself

The intersection of public and private in life and art.

A few years ago I watched Her Private Life, a k-drama starring Park Min-young and Kim Jae-wook, both of whom I love seeing on-screen, and ONE (Jung Jae-won) who is adorably cute in this series.

If you haven't seen it, here's a synopsis...

It's ostensibly about an art gallery curator - Doekmi - and her relationship with Ryan, the newly appointed director of the gallery (a position she deserved but of course didn't get). That part of narrative is a highly satisfying but predictable rom-com.

Doekmi is also a secret fangirl, and tries desperately (hilariously) to hide this side of her life, but that doesn't work out. I love the way this is dealt with and the understanding of the complexities of fan culture shown by the writers and cast. It's very relatable.

But maybe most importantly, this was one of the first k-dramas I watched that had an overtly queer narrative strand. I wont spoil anything but Ryan (Kim Jae-wook) is an absolute fucking legend in his efforts to be an LGBTQIA+ ally, even if he gets EVERYTHING wrong.

So how does this relate to our photo of Jimin, knee deep in water and smiling like this?

Episode 5 of Her Private Life has one of the most poignant scenes I've ever watched in a k-drama.

The scene isn't part of a major plot point but there are SPOILERS here.

The scene centres on an unpublished self-portrait taken by (deceased) renowned photographer-Yoon who was famous for his landscape photography. The portrait was his final photograph, taken just before he died.

The portrait was gifted to a reclusive writer who was lifelong friends with photographer-Yoon. He owns the rights to the photo, and he won't release it for publication.

The portrait in question

Deokmi and Ryan are trying to convince the writer to allow the portrait to be displayed in an upcoming exhibition of work by photographer Yoon. The writer adamantly refuses.

Why?

Yoon is looking at someone he loves.

As Deokmi observes, the portrait shows Yoon smiling not at the camera, but at someone in front of the camera.

He is looking at someone he loves.

For the writer, the portrait reveals too much. It exposes photographer-Yoon's feelings for the person in front of the camera, who is of course the writer himself. The writer knew of Yoon's feelings for him but could never acknowledge them while his friend was alive.

Lets go back to the photo of Jimin.

Something that really struck me about this photo of Jimin is the context of it. It was during the LGO MV shooting. He was splashing Jin and laughing, creating a small, happy moment for the music video (for us).

But covid was rife and the world was at a standstill. Jimin was personally and privately devastated during this time*. It was part of the MV brief, I'm sure, to show that you could still find joy in simple things but we know he himself was not happy.

So the happiness we see in those images is not his personal happiness. Even though he does genuinely look like hes having fun, that happiness is manufactured for us.

And then he looks up at the photographer and this we get this poignant, beautiful smile. Open, unguarded, and holding nothing back, his expression is so soft, so genuinely glad to see the person behind the camera.

He is looking at someone he loves and who he knows loves him in return.

"I see you, and everything is better. The sun comes out because you’re here with me," It says.

There's a stillness in this image, as though Jimin -singled out - stopped what he was doing to look back at the photographer, shutting out all the activity surrounding the two of them and stealing a quiet moment with that person.

And that stolen moment would have remained secret and private forever, had the photographer not shared this photo.

But they did.

The photographer gave it to us.

Was this just for aesthetic reasons?

I don't believe so.

Of course, it is a beautiful portrait of Jimin. Aesthetically and emotively it's a striking photograph, but there must me HUNDREDS of beautiful photos of Jimin. The photographer could have chosen ANY of them. But they chose this one.

Now we have this moment on record.

We get to see Jimin feeling this love. We see him the way the photographer sees him. And yes, we know who he is looking at.

We know who was behind the camera.... because the photograher shared this with us too.

Jungkook makes sure we know who took that photograph.

His Private Life becomes Art

In the drama series, the writer relents and takes Doekmi and Ryan upstairs to show them a locked room. It is full of photographs of himself, taken by photographer-Yoon over many years. In all of the pictures, he looks happy. Deokmi describes it as 'a love letter to the writer, from Photographer Yoon'.

The writer admits that he is ashamed that he never acknowledged Yoon's feelings. He didn't dislike them but he didn't have the courage to respond to them, which is why he can't release the portrait now. He can't reveal to the world how Yoon felt, when its too late to tell him that he knew, and that he didn't reject that love.

Ryan looks around at all the photos and says "Did you really ignore his heart? This smile does not look like it. You did not know your own heart, but photographer Yoon could have known it. As a photographer, how could he not notice it. He knew."

Their Private Life becomes public

That photo of Jimin is everywhere. Jungkook made sure of that.

The reticence of the two men in Her Private Life is nowhere to be found here.

Jungkook took this photo of the man he loves and one look at Jimin's face tells us that love is returned.

Just like photographer Yoon, Jungkook saw it and he knew we would all see it too.

But instead of hiding the picture in a locked room for decades, Jungkook published it in the most public forum imaginable. He put it into the music video for Life Goes On.

He consciously chose for us to see that photo.

Don't forget, he was the director of that music video too...

That private stolen moment, full of love and fondness, shows Jimin at his softest and his most vulnerable.

And maybe that's a side of Jimin only Jungkook sees. Maybe Jungkook wants us to know the Jimin HE knows. The open, unguarded Jimin who wears his heart on his sleeve the way Jungkook does. The most authentic, unafraid, beautiful Jimin.

The Jimin he loves the most.

💛💜

°~☆~°

*He told us in his Vlives, he told us in his album, he told us in his interviews. It was a hard, hard time for him.

[thetragicallynerdy]

Okay so, I made a thread about this over on twitter, and thought I'd drop it here too. OFMD Season 2 spoilers ahead. An idea that I've seen a few times and felt I needed to yell about is the idea that OFMD is now ableist, and that it is wrong to like and enjoy it as a show. As a queer disabled person, it's something that pisses me off so, so much. I'm not going to defend everything that happens in OFMD. But I am going to say that it is one of the best shows I know for showing both a broad range of disabilities, and presenting those disabilities in a largely neutral light. We have multiple amputees, multiple people with chronic pain , multiple characters with mental health issues, and more. We have Pete's speech impediment, Wee John's back, Lucius' finger, Jackie's hand, Ed's mental health, Stede's mental health - and yeah, Izzy's leg. The way that these disabilites are presented is important to me - because they're just another part of the person, not good or bad. There are obviously impacts and things to work through - Ed's mental health being one, Izzy's leg being another - but they ARE worked through. Ed's suicidality - which spans over two entire seasons - is addressed. So is the moments of Izzy's. Izzy gets support and a prosthetic, Lucius gets support and a prosthetic, we see Wee John sitting down in most scenes which would support his back. Disability isn't just ignored, or played off for laughs, but neither is it made the entire plot point. Izzy is just as much of a badass as before. Lucius' finger doesn't stop his work. Jackie's hand doesn't make her less fearsome. Ed's mental health (and Izzy's, and Stede's) don't make them less deserving of love. None of the character's disabilities do. In fact, we see two disabled characters - Lucius and Pete - getting married at the end of the season. And that's important. It's so important!!

If you're sad and upset that Izzy died, that's incredibly valid. But to say that it "shows that disabled characters have nothing to live for" - when his death wasn't related to his disability at all - is so incredibly offensive. I am permanently disabled, to the point that I cannot work full time. I have seen posts about my disability saying that it would be better to die than to have it. But nothing - NOTHING - in OFMD suggests that it would've been better for Izzy to die than to have an amputation. Instead he is supported, encouraged, and loved. He is given a carefully crafted prosthetic, and given space to learn how to use it. He gets support, and his mental health improves. He is given a beautiful life. And then he dies. But his death is not about his disability. I'm going to repeat that - his death is NOT about his disability. Nor is it about being queer. It's shitty, random luck. I'm sure there are people who are going to say that the writers, simply by having a disabled queer character die, are ableist and queerphobic. But nothing we see in the show supports that. They show queer joy and delight and love and happy endings over and over again. They show care and support of disabilities, over and over again. And they specifically show queer disabled people living beautiful lives, over and over again. One character's death doesn't undo that. I'm sorry that your favourite character died. I really, truly am. It's a devastating feeling. I'm sorry that it hurts. But if you're taking it as a sign that the show is saying queer disabled people have no right to live? Then you're ignoring the rest of the show.

You're ignoring all the beautiful queer disabled characters we see, and the messages that the show tells us about them. You're ignoring the beautiful life and redemption that Izzy got. And yeah, you're being offensive as hell to queer disabled people. Sorry, you are.

And if you're queer and disabled and can't see a queer disabled character die - that's incredibly valid. I understand. However, that doesn't mean the show or writers hate you, or hates us, or wants you to die. They've shown us over and over again that actually, they love us.

Also - would you be this pissed if it was any other disabled character who died? Probably not.

I think it's also really important to have stories where disabled people are treated like people. And yeah, that means that sometimes we die. Because that happens in life, too. Same with queer people.

I don't really have a satisfying conclusion to this. I'm just queer and disabled, and really tired of seeing it said that it's now morally wrong to like this show. It's not. I'm queer, disabled, and I see more disability pride and support in this show than most others.

So yeah, thank you to OFMD for beautiful representations of disability, and queerness. It's a show that makes me feel seen - and that's really important.

[heretherebedork]

Hi, since GMM has many Thai BL series, do you have favorites? If you do, what's the 10 you like most so far?

I mean, I do have favorites. Do I have ten? I'm not sure. Are they all actually good? Probably not!

Let's try this!

A Tale of a Thousand Stars: This is one of my favorite BLs of all time. I love them so much, I adore everything about this show, I love the characters and the story and the romance and the friendships and the growth. A+, you gotta watch it.

Moonlight Chicken: Another perfection. Just... absolutely amazing. This show blew my mind but in the gentlest most healing way possible. Everyone is amazing and everyone deserves an award.

The Eclipse: A gift, this show is a gift, it's absolutely fantastic and imperfect and good and fun and filled to the brim with healing and love and pain and it's very, very good. Kan and Thua might be my favorite GMMTV couple ever.

Tonhon Chonlatee: This is the only GMMTV comedy that has genuinely made me laugh. I still like it. I will always like it. I will always defend it. It's cute, it's funny, it's a fascinating journey through.

We Are: This show absolutely earned it's place on this list, what a darling show about nothing that I adored the entire way through and still miss deeply. Just boys falling in love and vibing along. No, less plot than you think.

He's Coming To Me: This is a good show, okay? It's a bit different, he is dating a ghost... but it's good and I love it and the love story doesn't have to end just because of death.

Midnight Museum: Is it actually a BL? No. Do I care? No. It's about as queer as it gets, has a canon gay romance and the main characters are in a romance-in-all-but-name.

Cherry Magic: Honestly? The Japanese version is good but I think the Thai version is actually overall better and has more growth and more interesting character moments and goes more indepth on the actual relationship as well. Very, very good.

Wandee Goodday: This show was exactly what it needed to be. Imperfect but a joy and the ending was perfectly sweet plus we got a darling ace for ace relationship in the last episode that brought me so much joy.

I don't have an actual number 10 because none of the others I liked made it on that list... but Hidden Agenda, Never Let Me Go and Dangerous Romance were all close. Also, The Warp Effect is not a BL but is SUPER queer and very good.

Anyway, there's my list of top GMMTV BLs that I have genuinely loved all the way through.

Current Top GMMTV BL: The Trainee

Most Anticipated GMMTV BL: Kidnap

[justporo]

Hello! I have a prompt for you. Set after the events of the game with unascended astarion x tav (preferably nonbinary but any gender is fine).

Have you ever seen those videos where a couple of lesbians propose at the same time? Like one kneels and the other one, crying and laughing kneels too and they get out their own box with the ring. It's so adorable. It's liberating how rules don't apply to us queer ppl, it's so beautiful to see a couple so in tune with each other that they were planning to propose at the same place, the same time.

Well, Astarion deserves to share in that joy. I think that he would feel so, so loved.

Oh, while I do love this idea I don't feel like I'm in the right headspace atm to write this. I would however like to give you my thoughts on this:

I absolutely know what kind of videos you know and they are indeed adorable! Quite frankly, these "rules" wouldn't have to apply to not queer people as well but seems most of them don't care about that, but anyways, whole other can of worms.

I do believe that Asstarion might not want to jump into a commitment right away because Gods know he had enough of bounds for a lifetime. But with time and a loving, healthy relationship I can totally see Tav and Astarion marrying. And I can see this scenario because I absolutely can see Astarion in either position and that he would enjoy being in either position.

Because being proposed too, especially with like a nice private event around it that is cosy and romantic (and a bit bougie!) would totally be his vibe (and please, he deserves princess treatment). But I feel like he'd also like to be the one planning the whole thing, making sure everything is perfect and coherent with his vision.

And lastly: we do agree he would make a big deal out of rings, yeah? Engagement rings and wedding rings especially: he would want something special that seperates your rings from other people, because he's extra like that!

[mirazia1200]

I love my partner

I love my partner

I love my partner

V is an amazing partner and I need to talk about her so like don’t mind me rambling below

You ever find that one person who you know you’re spending the rest of eternity with? Doesn’t even have to be in a romantic way you just want to be there with them through thick and thin?

I’ve never felt so happy, genuinely. I’m so glad V is here with me. And… I know she’s not the same V from my source memories. I know the V I have beside me is not the same one I remember, I know she’s not always sure how to actually feel about me, but I know she’s trying to make this work, and that pushes me to want to make things work too. Because a life without V just wouldn’t be the same…

This isn’t the V from my source, from the BombBerry AU, this is V from canon, and sometimes I feel guilty… sometimes I feel like maybe I made her feel obligated to date me simply because my source memories were of us in a relationship. But then… then I see her smile at me, and I know I’m just being paranoid. I know they’re trying, I know they want this to work out.

This relationship between us was very unexpected, we only really jumped into it at first when the Asmi fictive appeared. I think we both felt a little obligated to play the parental roles we had taken on in my source. But now, the initial awkwardness of a new relationship has faded, and I can tell that deep down V wanted this just as much as I did this whole time, and that fills me with a kind of joy I can’t describe.

It feels like everything is as it should be, I wouldn’t have things any other way. V is very protective of me, and I find that funny and cute. She knows I can take care of myself, but everywhere I go I can’t help but notice she’s always nearby, ready to jump into a situation the moment I need her there.

I feel so happy… I know none of these MD fictives have the same memories as me, because they formed before my source was ever created, but despite the fact that our memories of events aren’t the same, they still make it a point to try and make me feel part of the group, and I do! I feel so at home with everyone, with N and Uzi and heck, even J. It still throws me for a loop how different J is here, we laugh about that a lot together.

V recently told me she has a crush on someone else too… Uzi! Who’d have thought? I’m happy for her. I know Uzi still hasn’t given V a proper response to her confession, but I don’t know… I smell something queer in the air here so I think I know what the answer will be/silly Does it scare me that V might have another partner? No, not really… I’m happy if V is happy. My only concern is figuring out a new ship name for the three of us, hehe.

V is amazing, I love her so much, and so does Asmi!! Asmi is… such a wonderful presence. Sure, she gets concerningly excited whenever arson is mentioned, but I’m so glad she’s here. Funny thing is, I formed before the concept of Asmi was even developed I think? I don’t remember Asmi in my memories, but that doesn’t matter. I’m making newer, better memories with her, and with V. Neither of us are good at this parenting stuff I can tell, but we’re both trying, and I can tell Asmi appreciates it.

V is… wonderful. It’s funny, usually she’s very insistent on keeping the whole romance stuff to a minimum out of embarrassment, but she gets all flirty and affectionate when she’s tired. I can never form a response with actual words when she compliments me, I can only ever melt into her embrace and feel like I don’t deserve her. I don’t know why I feel like that sometimes I just kinda do! I think it’s normal to feel undeserving of the wonderful people in your life. I don’t deserve her, and yet she’s here with me, and I gotta be honest I’m really not complaining about that, quite the opposite, really!

They say in life you will eventually find your other half, and when I look at V, I know I found that other half…

I love V, I love her a lot… I’m very gay if you can’t tell/silly

Anyways… yeah… I’m a little silly

-S

[hannahhasafact]

Things the fucking slap about the non Intrepid Heroes Dimension 20 seasons in order of release:

Escape from the Bloodkeep

Absolutely stellar party with Amy Vorpahl, Erika Ishii, Ify Nwadiwe, Matthew Mercer, Mike Trapp and Rekha Shankar

Includes the one familiar the Brennan refuses to harm, and it’s the most horrible creature you’ve ever met.

Speaking of J’er’em’ih, I don’t think Trapp gets as much appreciation for Sokhbarr as I think he deserves because when Trapp commits he fucking COMMITS. And that one very specific investigation check? Ooh baby it was so good

Speaking of boss ass moves, Rekha’s balloon ass fuckery was such a good move. And Ify being like “can we be bros with the eagles?” ending up being one of the best moves to do? Absolutely fantastic

Honestly one of the funniest seasons of D20 tbh imo. Like I do not like LOTR, so I didn’t think I’d like this season. But it’s such a hilarious season, no wonder it’s one of the side quests I feel like folks recommend the most

Tiny Heist

The McElroy fam? Even if you don’t listen to TAZ (like me) you know they’re a good time

The Rick Diggins speech is just so fucking bananas it’s so good. Rick Diggins is also just the most batshit character

Personally, I love heist stuff. It’s so fun! And I really found the heist itself to be so fun! (Griffin’s part it in is my favorite, Bean is adorable and I love him)

Also there’s always something so fun about the mechanics of tiny universes within our universe? The way they explain toys and stuff coming to life is really interesting and fun imo

Lily Du’s first time at the table and Jess Ross at the table! Speaking of I love how Jess completed her arch, she knew what was going down with her character and made a complete story. It was great!

Pirates of Leviathan

Personally I love this season, and our first time having Aabria at the table ahhhhhh (also my first encounter of “please have the camera focus on Aabria, she makes the absolute best expressions”) Plus, it’s back in the Fantasy High Universe which is always fun to explore more about the universes (and get some NPC cameos/appearances!)

Also tbh I love all of the PCs in this series? Like they’re all so interesting and unique, and are such full characters.

Literally the absolute best PC introduction that exists in d20, Bob I love you so goddamn much

There’s a goddamn Queer Eye joke in this season and at first it’s played for laughs but honestly becomes like… the softest thing? And it warms your soul? And it also features Matt Mercer as a tall ass rat man (this season also has a rare pair I ship and I think no one else does lol but I love it so)

Pirate T-Rex. Just feel like that alone needs its own bullet point lol

Mice and Murder

The mystery!!! Is so fun!!! It’s cool at the end of the season to see how everything was connected, and it’s fun to go on the journey with the party

Katie Marovitch rolling the first nat 20 of the season and not understanding the implications of a natural 20 for a good couple of minutes will always be funny

This season is pretty much all classic College Humor cast mates, so if you’ve been watching College Humor stuff for over a decade like me you’re sure to find some joy in it

Sam Reich has some of the most killer one liners in this season and he’s just such a fun character. Honestly, this season is just so goofy and everyone is just trying to make each other laugh. It’s delightful

The texting element!!! Is so dang interesting!!! And it works so well for the mystery

Misfits and Magic

The first season with a new GM!!!! Aabria!!! When that trailer came out we were all SHOOK, truly began a new era of d20 and we love it

And first time PC Brennan??? Listen he’s such a fun PC we love the strange lil guys he plays

Sam Black deserves so much more love, she’s such a fun PC. Like Danielle would just say one liners that would knock me the fuck out, she’s so dang funny

Listen one of the funniest moments to me will always be Lou and Brennan as their actual selves being like “Mukbang? That’s not a real thing right? No… no it’s not”

The fact that one of the animal companions is straight up just a basketball is hilarious and ridiculous

The Seven

If you love the Fantasy High universe and want to know more about some of the side NPCS, ooh baby they’re PCs now and they’re all played by hilarious cool folks (including our first time having Izzy Roland, Persephone Valentine and Becca Scott in the dome!)

This season absolutely feels like a sleepover with friends. Everyone is giggly and having so much fun, and it’s so fun to watch (and also emotional when you least expect it lol)

I’m having a hard time describing funny moments because it’s just one of those things where you have to experience it to get it? Like this season had me cry laughing but I will never be able to describe the sexy duck outfit as hilariously as Becca does it’s just so good

Oooh before we got killer costume descriptions from ACOFAF you better believe we got it during this season. And if you’re a big costume nerd like me you’ll just be like heart eyes mother fucker

On an interesting note, Brennan is kind of playing both an NPC and PC? Technically he’s still just playing an NPC but Zelda is like… part of the party (obviously part of The Seven). And it’s a fun change!

Shriek Week

Gabe Hicks is a delight as the GM! I am constantly thinking about the line “You may be yolked but this man is a straight up omelette” because it slaps and tbh I would love to see him in the dome again

I think this is canonically the only season where characters FUCK

Another season with a very fun cast, like all of the cast has big horny energy and it’s so silly! If you’ve watched this season you understand Lily’s energy in Dirty Laundry a lot more lollll

Also this season canonically has Mothman and The Count from Sesame Street as characters and it makes me giggle every time

Tbh I really wish this season had more time but if you’re looking for a super short series, it’s only four episodes long!

Coffin Run

Jasmine Bhullar is SO fun as the GM and I feel like really plays off the PC energy well? She was so much fun

This season is another one that is just goofy fun! And you know I love me some goofy fun (the whole eating letters thing is so stupid and so fun)

Personally think the sets for this series are SO cool like oh my god?? The trainnnnnnn ahhh

This is kind of a bigger spoiler but I will never be over the wine glass props for that one combat? When she pulls them out I DIE

This cast REALLY goes in on their characters and plays them so big, it’s delightful

A Court of Fey & Flowers

Do I really need to get into why this season fucking slaps? I’m pretty sure it’s one of the most popular side campaigns because it fucking SLAPS

Aabria is back as GM, bringing poetry and grace to the dome and ahhhh (like she literally recites poetry but also the episode introductions are just straight up poetic

This is the season of romance and brought me to the horrible realization that I like DND actual plays because mostly I like the role playing apparently lolllll

Outfits outfits outfits outfits ahhhhh we love some fantastic outfitsssss

The whole Green Hunter bit is so fucking funny

Anyways moral of the story is D20 side campaigns are fun and you should watch/listen to them

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Nimona

or How to Not Worry & Channel Your Inner Limp Bizkit

In the year before 2020, it was announced that Blue Sky Studios was adapting ND Stevenson's hit graphic novel. Everything changed though when Disney was on that bullshit post-Fox buyout, where to our surprise Blue Sky and Nimona would be shut down. The latter's cancellation hit especially hard understanding it was almost finished anyways, but that's Disney for you. Long as you don't say gay and give 'em your money, they'll stay out of the way. Leave it to Netflix to let the film rebound from Super Hell and finally make it to both the big and small screen; makes you forget they're garbage at anything else. All in all, Blue Sky had the last laugh one more time but was Nimona able to bring the flavorful fireworks or did we get a weak flare that fumbled before the 4th of July?

Well, I will declare now that the film... is fun. If it wasn't fun, that means Disney made it and would remake it live-action around 2040. This film is a ride-or-die by its titular protagonist and lads, I can't lie...

PROTECT. THIS. GODDAMN. SMILE.

Nimona is both a bundle of chaotic joy and an entity that deserved far better. She's like the manifestation of Limp Bizkit, 2000s punk, and B-tier shitposting rolled into an unapologetic but deeply frustrated rebel. I've seen naysayers before release going, "She's another attitude girl archetype" and like no. She has that raw gremlin bastard energy, but she's never an annoying bitch and that's big difference. The best thing is that you're with Ballister in getting to know her; it surprisingly hard for folk to be accepting of somebody harmless who's more comfortable with themselves than anyone lets on. She's not a character I felt forced to sympathize with nor was intrusive on Ballister's story. She's not exactly the focus, but she earned being the star of this movie.

I got major Haruhi and Kyon vibes from their dynamic and it's great

Plotwise, there's a good flow to it all that makes this rewatchable thrill. If there's one major gripe I have is that while Nimona and Ballister have a great dynamic, there's a part in the 2nd act involving them and the villain that was a bit rushed. I will admit to not have read the book, but while I do know the tone is different given they were probably going for an all age rating, I say things didn't feel too compromised. My mind is blown enough that we got an animated kids movie with two, COUNT 'EM TWO, openly queer protagonists. No winks and nudges towards Ballister being gay, no scatterbrained subtlety on Nimona's genderfluid existence, and thank balls their story exists as more than being a preachy memoir. These two get to just BE and live to go on a crime spree justice adventure. That is what I've wanted for longer than any of you think and this delivered. Any criticisms I could have I felt was diluted by the actual fun this was.

And if you've seen Iron Giant, you probably will love this movie

To conclude, I am wondering of a timeline where this wasn't originally cancelled and Blue Sky didn't get axed. This was as much their movie as it is Annapurna and DNEG who helped finish it. People said it looked "unfinished" but then again, given the situation I can cut it some slack because it still plays out gorgeously. Like you know Blue Sky got most of it done, but you think about the changes in direction and ponder if this was the best outcome for the film. It is poetic though, a phoenix forced to burn out but gets to revive as a stronger, if not more so, being that people finally get to see. For Nate, this is undoubtedly a dream come true. As for me, not since Puss in Boots The Last Wish have I been delighted to call this a...

9/10 ABSOLUTE BANGER

[sailorbryant]

My Top 10 BL's of 2022

Cause why not.

10. Secret Crush on You

The cringe was real, but so was how much I didn't care and just enjoyed the shit out of this thing.

9. Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

It was a battle in my head between this one and Old Fashioned Cupcake, but I'm gonna go with Minato. They were both great shows, but damn the sexual tension between Minato and Shin was just *chef's kiss* and the ending was so freaking satisfying. Add in the cinematography, which I truly believe was off the charts, and you've got a great show that I've re-watched probably three times already.

8. Love in the Air

Was it Mame trash? Sure. Did I still adore it? Yes. I'm easy like that. Give me barely any plot and hand waving sexual assault, but throw in a daddy kink and a man bun, and I fold like a stack of cards apparently.

7. Rak Diao (One Love)

I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this, but here we are. A lot of people didn't watch or didn't like this show and that's fair. But I respectfully disagree. The laugh track blended in for me very quickly. I don't know if it was just the nostalgia factor or the just the surrealness of having a very 'sitcom' BL I do not know, but genuinely enjoyed this, and so sad it didn't get the ratings it deserved.

5. The Eclipse.

Just call me a sucker for a good ol' enemies to lovers, pro-lgbt, anti-authoritarian high school BL. Would probably be higher if the last couple of eps weren't so weird, but deserves to still be here for First crying alone.

6. My Tooth Your Love

Great show. Only complaints are the lack of focus on the side couples, but just genuinely adored the progress of the main's arc. Gonna be a feel good re-watch for a long time.

Therapy Recommendations?? In my BL?? It's more likely than you think!

4. Not Me

I don't know how I couldn't love this show honestly. Enemies to lovers, identity porn w/ twins, rag tag revolutionaries attempting to overthrow the government, Sing as a villain. Just, fuck, it was like it was written with me in mind. I'm glad OffGun are coming back, but damn this would've been a hell of a high note to go out on.

Be gay, do crimes, and steal my heart I guess.

3. Semantic Error

Are y'all starting to realize I have an enemies to lovers thing? Cause damn. Anyway.

People a lot more talented than me have written way longer and better pieces on how great this show was, but yeah, it rocked. I've rewatched it multiple times, and read the manhua (yuck). Only complaint is the same with any Korean show, not long enough, but even what little we got feels like a delicious four course meal.

2. KinnPorsche VegasPete

Don't take this as a slight on KinnPorsche, because I adore them, but VegasPete honestly ensnared me body and soul. It may be a symptom of the fact that VP got less screen time than KP, but damn. It's just an obsession I'll probably not going to be getting over any time soon, and I really don't want to.

The not joking around enemies to lovers plot, the daddy issues, the straight up not fucking joking around BDSM. I mean, come on???

WHERE IS SEASON 2 BOC??? WHERE IS IT???

1. Bad Buddy

What's that? Bad Buddy came out in 2021 and barely had any episodes in 2022? Sorry, I've suddenly gone deaf.

But seriously, none of that matters. What matters is that the last episode came out in 2022 and absolutely rocked my world. I took the day off WORK for that episode. I made @bluebladerose block off her calendar at work so as soon as the episode ended I could call her and scream about it uninterrupted (and she, at this point, had not watched the show or any other BL for that matter). I could barely even tell her what had happened, and just proceeded to CRY like a child about it from pure damn joy.

It was joy in the face of pain, it was choosing happiness and love in the face of everything. It was letting all of us little queer kids know that it is possible to keep your family AND the one you love. It said that love was friendship, and happiness, and made you stronger and better and was worth fighting for no matter that it's hard.

It was cathartic and beautiful and everything I ever wanted. I'll never get over it. As far as I'm concerned, the moment Pat opened that door to see Pran on the other side was a cultural reset and nothing else will ever compare.

Honorable Mentions:

Old Fashioned Cupcake. Fantastic. Only one kiss, but it's a doozy

Love Stage!! Probably should be on the TOP 10, but it's been so long since I watched it, and couldn't bring myself to fight for it over any of the other shows.

Cutie Pie. The very definition of PWP in TV form, but who cares when Zee looks like that. Damn.

Unlucky-Kun must Kiss. Cute. Feel good. Did not live up to the High heat promise from the earlier episodes, but still good rewatch value.

Roommates of Poongduck 304. Cute. Loved it being about adults. Loved it.

Triage. Unf. So good.

Between Us & My School President Will be on the Top 10 list for 2023

Dishonorable Mentions that should be burnt in a fire:

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. The only good thing to come from this show was @bluebladerose's increasing horror as I spent four hours I spent explaining the plot to her and also this screenshot which was my background for a week.

(Yes, okay, there were some good parts and I did enjoy the dynamic with the mom as someone who is currently dealing with an aging mother, but also jfc I'm a good person and did not deserve that ending.)

See you all in 2023!

[ghostbusterscantcatchme]

OKAY IVE WATCHED SOOOO MUCH IT WAS THE FIRST THING I DID WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING (2PM RN) LETS TALK ABOUT IT !!!!

Black Woke Up and fucking punched sean and left him on the ground and sean did not fight back and was so fucking confused and so fucking hurt because i love him so much why is he doing this to me. the way i fucking screamed. cried even . that shit HURT

god i cannot for the life of me remember it all in order but WHATEVER

black and white care about each other soooo much its Beautiful. the one scene where they were hugging and crying and black was like "im not crying tears are just coming out of my eyes . i guess we really are connected" or something along those lines and i was just like suuuuuuure youre not crying lol i Adore them

also i fucking Knew it was todd lmao . bro was wayy too suspicious

poor black though ?? hes been Going Through It. put in the hospital by someone who was meant to be his friend waking up & finding out the girl he loves is sorta with his other friend and his gang doesnt want him around anymore especially after theyve had white (even being directly told by gumpa that whites better than him) plus not having anyone but white in the way of family ?? someone give this guy a mfing hug i swear

plus it turns out grams in love with eugene not black lmao that one threw me for a loop but theyre admittedly cute together :3

THE SCENE WHERE SEAN TOLD DAN TO KILL HIMSELF BC HE KILLED HIS DAD WAS INSANE LMAO . made me laugh im ngl bc i just Knew sean was gonna pull some shit like that i love him so much :/

yok and dan are so fucking adorable im gonna throw up . i seriously love them together and i love their stories and the shit they say and the way their minds work. same for sean & white. like theyre just so crazy insightful sometimes ??? and even when theyre not theyre just . Dude. i Seriously love these characters

i was fucking RELIEVED when sean finally had confirmation that black and white are different people like Yeah the dude you fell in love with would never do All That to you 😭😭

theyre so ajfjksjfjks i love their banter and their interactions and the way they look at each other is so sweet it makes me wanna throw up

plus gumpa bragging about knowing black had a twin the entire time was hilarious lmao id do the same tbh he Deserved to ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ + the scene where sean wraps an arm around white and leans in to kiss his cheek in front of the others and white flinches away and seans like "you dont act like this when its just the two of us" and everyones all like oOoOoOoOoOoH and laughing and teasing them that shit healed my fucking soul man

another thing was the marriage equality fashion show i think it was called ?? + Everything prior to it. queer joy in fiction never fails to get me So Fucking Emotional. everyone with the pride flags and joy of just like Being There and fighting for something they all believe in . imso fucking obsessed

turns out namo was a girl sean hung out with sometimes i guess ? who he seems to sleep with sometimes lmao . and she Liked him and was sad as fuck when she found out about sean and white but she was pretending to be cool about it because "its not like you ever asked me to be your girlfriend" . hmm i wonder if sean woulda said yes if she asked him out pre white

this shit has me in a fucking chokehold if you didnt notice (im pretty sure you did though 😭😭😭) and im in the penultimate episode and im fucking SAD its gonna end soon but im SO looking forward to watching it all again :]

ooooh yes the black and sean confrontation is so painful, poor sean has no freaking clue whats going on.

I adore all of the Black and White scenes together. How the actor makes having a conversation with himself so emotional is amazing. Also love sibling relationships so much so get so many feels from them.

yeah Todd was playing it all from the start, hate him so much. full asshole

Black deserves so many hugs and i'm so glad him and White are reunited. I do feel like him seeing how much more his gang like Whites version of him will probably be a bit of a wake up call. If we get a season 2 I would love to have it focused on Black this time. or even a prequel of sorts that shows the gang before white.

actually was so surprised by Grams thing being with Eugene and not Black, gmmtv really switched up the story there

Sean finally gets an outlet for his anger and hurt and the fact that he tells dan to kill himself instead of taking the revenge says so much about his character and development through the show.

the couples and charachters in this show sometimes feel bigger than that, they’re so real. i was watching the last couple episodes as they were coming out weekly and let me tell you i was thinking about them always (and still am). they’re just so brilliant.

i was actually screaming for them to communicate to Sean what was going on until he finally found out. poor guy was really going through it

ugh the teasing was so relieving, really the fluff we had all been waiting for. and i love Gumpa, he’s the real hero for keeping quiet about White and just accepting that some shit is going on

queer joy is everything and a lot of gmmtv dramas that i’ve watched highlight it. joy and happiness is just so important, especially when you’re showing a lot of the gritty parts of activism

Namo and Sean’s relationship was kinda just there? like it’s kept ambiguous cause both want different things. i really want her to be happy (and they should give her a girlfriend, was really hoping for her and Eugen to have some subplot together)

Endings are the worst. like why does it have to be over and you’ll never be able to watch it the same again. but also it’s really good for rewatches cause then you can find the details and foreshadowing you missed the first time

[void-cloud]

Brain reacts to: Pride parade

The good:

) Pride parade is one of my highlights every year. It's where I lucked myself into my current friend group, my FP (Leon), manage to be open and vulnerable despite my brain going absolute haywire at times.

Pride is also where I'm ok with my body. As in, I don't give a flying fuck how people percieve me. I just get to vibe.

There are so many good memories connected to this event, I love pride!

) Managed to beat last years record and talked to multiple strangers!

) There was another aroallo and we just happy screamed at each other like Same Flag!!! :D

) I had a breakdown at the end and this random enby couple came by and just…stayed and distracted me and talked me through and we hugged and they were so damn nice! Queer people are the best!

The bad:

) So many little things were going wrong on the day. Couldn’t find parts of my Outfit, got on wrong train, etc. Almost made me bail on the way there cause it was already too much

) I ran into Drow (FP). We only talked a bit but damn those FP feels and memories come back hard x_x

Hadn't seen him in ...I think a year and I've...somewhat started to work through that whole story in therapy. And I know I shouldn't but with everything else happening right now, I am so very close to try and reinstate contact. Which would not be healthy. But also kinda what I deserve so….

) Had to split from Leon (FP) group pretty early. They wanted to take a little break in a nearby park and that included Tribble (Ex-Friend) and I just….couldn't. It was fine to be around them while we were walking in the parade, but the thought about sitting around, having a nice talk, pretending things are fine….nope. Not in person. No chance.

The Ugly:

) None of that breached the anhedonia. I can factually say that I had fun. I laughed, I danced, I was happy to see people and yet I felt nothing.

At one point I was sitting at the side, letting the music and people and collective joy wash over me. None of it came through. And that scares me so much.

[browzerhistory]

ok i can't not talk about this because i feel very clever and proud of myself (this won't be comprehensive since i don't have the time or energy to do a full album analysis). it will also be all over the place.

'mama' is about war. we know this. however it can also be very well observed through a queer lens, especially the ever-lauded "you should have raised a baby girl/i should have been a better son" lyric. however the theme of knowing you're about to die and trying to mend your relationship with your mother despite it all, despite everything between you two because she's still your mom... that has significance, no?

cancer especially seems to be about the process of being on your deathbed from aids, from the perspective of someone going through it. in the intro, the singer asks for his aunt marie and his brothers and sisters to see him - notably, not his parents. brothers and sisters here could be taken literally but i'm more inclined to believe the singer means other queer and trans people. the singer knows his parents aren't coming because they don't want to associate with him as a gay man, especially not one dying of aids, so he calls for more supportive relatives and members of the community.

sleep also seems to be about someone dying, though it has more focus on the reflecting one does as they die. the first verse brings to mind conversion therapy ("some say now suffer all the children/and walk away a savior/or a madman and polluted/from gutter institutions") where, if one walks out at all, it's either as a 'cured' heterosexual or a traumatized shell.

disenchanted speaks of running from cops while laughing with joy, which can be interpreted as the singer and a partner/ex running from a gay bar being raided by police. it also talks about being bullied in high school, which is, unfortunately, a near-universal queer experience.

the end, notably, mentions the singer doing drag, but it's also a song about how he expects the people attending his funeral to be glad he's dead. if everyone in your immediate family detests your queerness and prays for you to die, it makes sense you'd expect your funeral to be more like a good riddance party.

dead! is a song from switching perspectives but that also can have a coherent singular narrative: a dying man coming to terms with his impending death. the singer asks if, when someone else gets to heaven and he's waiting there, the other person will have 'gotten what they deserve.' it's possible that the singer, having been told his whole life he's going to hell for being queer, has refused to believe it and expects to be waiting in heaven for someone else. dead! also reinforces the idea that the people in the singer's immediate circle don't have anything nice to say about him when they find out he's dying.

might continue this tomorrow but for now i am Eepy

anyways i'm definitely not the first to say this or have this theory but the black parade is about the aids crisis right

[tearsofgrace]

endings are hard... but they aren’t impossible

tldr; the good place fucking nailed the finale, supernatural completely and utterly bombed it.

tags: wc--4.5k, gif heavy, spn meta, the good place, supernatural finale, spn wank, all gifs are mine, if you read til the end there’s a pretty gif

so i recently finished the good place (i was watching w my family and we finally had time to sit down and watch the last season) and god fucking dammit that ending is FLAWLESS. literally flawless. 

and because i’m, well, me… i spent most of the time during that hour long finale thinking about how supernatural could have had even a fraction of that and avoided so much heartbreak. 

anyways. i decided to compare them. to REALLY compare them. to get into the nitty gritty of why the fuck the good place ending left me feeling, as the finale is all about, sated and complete. and why the spn ending left me confused, lost, broken, betrayed, unable to even enjoy my comfort show at all until a dear friend finally just watched an episode (8.08) start to finish with me. 

so without further ado (always wanted to say that) here’s the good place/supernatural finale meta that no one asked for

comedy

we’ll start small. both these shows have excellent comedy. in extremely different ways… but still

in the good place finale, the comedy was perfect. whether it was jason reappearing in the forest, michael trying to get through The Door, tahani reversing the “hot bod” bit on eleanor, every comedic moment was actually pretty emotional and added something to the show. they deepened characters’ meanings, added to their relationships, and made the audience think as much as they made the audience laugh.

in the spn finale… the comedy was the pie gag. the whole sam shoving pie into dean’s face. beyond this being… like meta as hell (the whole prank thing) it doesn’t have any depth to it.

and to add salt to the wound, this “hilarious” thing happens RIGHT AFTER salmondean have a conversation about missing jack and cas that is equal parts flat and infuriating. the brothers, in particular sam about jack and dean about cas, should care more. this is their family. and family is everything to them. but, no, by all means pie dean in the face.

last lines

this one IRKS me. okay. 

the last line of the good place  "I'll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.” “All right.”  is ICONIC. okay?

it’s a reference to season 1 that doesn’t feel fan-servicey. it’s kinda honestly emotional cuz it’s like a message to us, the audience. it perfectly completes michael’s arc. it captures the light-hearted vibe of the show while also somehow managing to be poignant. you can see it coming like the second before it happens but it’s also not the obvious choice. it’s just. goddamn it’s good.

the last line of supernatural…. is… “and cut.” not even said by one of j2. i mean i know it’s a meta show but COME ON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????????

now i hear you shouting wait but that’s just the end of the thank you message. okay fine whatever. in that case the last lines are “Hey, Sammy.” “Dean.” (i couldn’t bring myself to gif that moment)

i’m sorry but. that’s predictable. that’s obvious. that’s boring. that’s flat. sure, it celebrates the bond between the brothers. but like… that’s not what this show is about anymore. it’s not just about sam and dean winchester it’s about what they’ve created. it’s about the world they’ve saved, the family they’ve made, about how they always keep fighting but nope we get bland, boring, coulda seen ‘em coming from miles away lines for the very end. that’s fine.

montages

the spn finale is like 50% montages that don’t make sense and are poorly done and not emotional

the good place has a montage of michael being human that brought me to tears

timing

here’s another short section. the good place finale was 53 minutes long as opposed to the usual 20 minute long runtime of every episode. granted, the fandom of the good place is very different, but STILL there was no documentary telling the fans things they ALREADY knew (there was a short special after the ep, but the episode itself was still far longer than normal). it was 53 minutes of plot. of really fucking good not rushed plot. 

the supernatural finale was… what 36 minutes long?? as opposed to the normal 40 minute runtime?? granted, we did get an hour long documentary of things we’ve all heard in cons and interviews a billion times so hey. take what you can get i guess.

character arcs

this is most of the meat of this meta. one thing we’ve all been harping on a TON is how they RUINED character arcs. soooo let’s go through and juxtapose some character arcs shall we

eleanor

eleanor shellstrop starts the show completely self-obsessed. she died getting hit by shopping carts while picking up margarita mix and let’s be real she’s a total icon. love her to death. she grows a ton, becomes one of the most selfless characters on the show, and starts to actually (jack forbid) CARE about things. it’s one of the most satisfying and relatable character arcs i’ve ever seen. 

it’s not just her selfishness either, her character is super multi-faceted and complex, and i feel like even in the end we’re getting to know her better. she’s afraid of commitment, always worried about what others’ actions will do to her, loves the trivial side of life, is queer as fuck (as acknowledged by the show in a way that’s not harmful at all but also isn’t explicitly bi/pan/unlabeled/omni etc, allowing queer fans to see their own identity in her), and is all around a HUMAN BEING. her ending at the beginning of the show was her death. her stupid, trivial, meaningless death where she was, as she puts it, all alone. and her final ending ISNT that. yes, everyone goes before her. and i think that’s purposeful. to show that she’s grown enough that being alone in some sense is okay.

but she’s never TRULY alone. and in the end. the REAL end. janet is there. the whole time. because eleanor asked her to be!! she got over her crazy need for independence and simply asked for help. and eleanor dies an amazing person that has become selfless, has found joy in philosophy while still enjoying trashy content, has fixed her relationship with her mother, and has found a sense of completion. eleanor’s life ends on her terms, and it’s beautiful.

dean

alright. now just as you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy let’s look at dean winchester’s ending. you’ve heard it a million times, so i’ll be brief. dean was raised to be a hunter, a soldier, a killing machine with no feelings and no purpose. he was raised to die scared on a hunt, his life over because of some mistake he made because he will NEVER measure up. at least that’s what john and everyone else told him with the exceptions of some of his family (and family don’t end in blood). he started to accept that he didn’t have to have this. he started to realize that he could CHOOSE what his ending was. 

the beautiful thing is, we never truly got to see what that was. i personally like to think it’s similar to the roadhouse michael locked him in while he was trapped in his own mind. a safe place for hunters, somewhere he (and cas in my opinion, but that’s not important) could settle down and still be in the life. it would be an amazing tribute to jo and ellen, and just all around a great ending. he wouldn’t have to be scared, but he wouldn’t have to conform to some apple pie facade of normalcy. and ya know what?? say that he died so he could have peace i dare you. because dean doesn’t find peace until sam is there anyway so i beg of you WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT. 

dean winchester died scared. dean winchester died on a hunt. dean winchester died on one of john’s old hunts. dean winchester died not directly at the hands of a monster, but at the hands of a mistake. his mistake. dean winchester died without ever working through the trauma of his best friend in the entire world confessing his love in a final act of self-sacrifice. dean winchester died in a way that leaves a sour taste in my mouth and does not at all show the audience what he’s been through and how much he’s grown. dean winchester did not die on his terms, and he deserved better.

chidi

okay back to happy. chidi anagonye. by far my personal favorite good place character (don’t tell anyone i always say jason cuz he and i are very similar). chidi in the last few episodes is SO DRASTICALLY different than the chidi we meet at the beginning. he’s decisive, confident, self-assured, and it’s amazing to see. he’s not afraid of life anymore. he’s not afraid to make the wrong decision and forever alter his reality, because he’s okay with failure. 

at the beginning, chidi was so petrified of life that… it killed him. and in the end, he’s completely at peace with every decision he makes, even the final one. yes, he considered staying for eleanor, but that just shows how his moral code and his compassion for others is still very much still intact. it shows the audience that you can be confident and decisive without being a selfish asshole. 

chidi leaves the good place knowing that it’s the right thing to do. knowing without a doubt that his time has come. the old chidi never would have been able to fathom being that sure about something. it’s beautiful. it’s a development that can give the audience peace, can show them that this drastic of change is possible, and that chidi became a better person for all of it. chidi went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

sam

… this one might be controversial… but sam winchester. god i hated sam’s ending. at first i was kinda okay with it. like, okay fine he got his normal life. but, really, in the end that’s not what sam wanted. he started to realize that he didn’t need that apple pie, white picket fence life. he didn’t need the wife and the kids and the backyard and the barbecues because that is NOT sam’s personality and i will throw hands on that. 

that’s not to say he doesn’t want some sort of romance, maybe even kids, but not in that way. he lets himself see that he doesn’t need to be defined by his rebellion to john. doesn’t need to be defined by going to college or any of those “normal” smart kid things because it doesn’t fit him. and that’s okay! but how does sam’s story end? it ends with a wife (that isn’t even important enough to show her face). with kids. with a goddamn white picket fence. we think he’s still hunting to some extent… but it’s not the arc we were led to believe would happen. it’s not this amazing leader sam that we see in season 12-14, uniting hunters and organizing them. 

he had SO MUCH potential and they throw it away on a vanilla ending that shows only surface level pain at losing his brother. he doesn’t even invite the rest of their family to the wake for fuck’s sake. jared did an incredible job. pls don’t think i’m saying he didn’t. but that script…. sam winchester’s arc was cut short. he didn’t go on his terms, and he deserved better.

jason

jason mandoza. the only character that has ever embodied my complete dumbass energy to the insane extent that it exists. he went to hell for his impulsivity. he never thought before a decision. i aspire to be as reckless as jason while on earth. but he LEARNED. he got better, just like they all did. and by the end of the show, jason doesn’t need to be impulsive anymore. much like eleanor being left “alone,” the show does a masterful job with making him be the first one to go, capturing his old impulsiveness. but he chooses to leave. he takes his time in deliberation, waiting until a feeling of peace, of completion, of well, ‘true happiness’ (sorry cas stans, i’m right there with you) has settled over him. 

the ending of his story is one of growth, just like all these characters have been. and the best part? the show makes it comedic in the most poignant and beautiful way, because it’s jason, it had to be funny. we learn that jason has been in the woods for like, eons, just waiting to go through the door because he wants to give janet a necklace. he’s learned to simply wait. to be at peace with… nothing. his torture was being a monk, but in the end, jason embodies those ideals. his arc comes to fruition in an extremely satisfying way. jason goes on his own terms, and it’s beautiful.

castiel

this one is gonna hurt like a bitch. castiel is my comfort character. he’s my role model. he’s me in a lot of ways. i love him. so fucking much. so excuse me if this is slightly incoherent. i’m actually okay with cas’ ending… in a way. because his actual ending as an on-screen character? perfect. self-sacrifice while coming out and professing his love to dean winchester. a little bit bury the gays, but let’s be real, it’s supernatural. and “happiness is in just saying it” has to be the most powerful way to think of coming out. it takes away the fear, it takes away so much of the pain that can follow. because the joy is in just saying the words.

it’s how this was treated on the show that makes cas’ character arc terrible (and we haven’t even gotten to 15.20). YOU CANNOT JUST IGNORE A LOVE CONFESSION. that is god awful writing and i will never change my mind on that. cas deserved his family to care about him. to at least address and be sad about the fact he was gone. jesus fucking christ after everything castiel deserved at least that. and then we go to 15.20. cas is in heaven. cas is serving god. cas is right back where he started. now, i’m coming off a little strong. 

if the show had decided to show us cas and jack in heaven makin’ the world a better place… i woulda come around to it. i woulda realized that that’s not REALLY erasing 12 years of character development and cas realizing that his whole identity isn’t just him serving heaven and isn’t just him being an angel and that he’s so much more than all of that and he could still be happy as a human… because really he’s with his son. but they didn’t show us that. they barely even mentioned him. and to me. that counts as a bad character arc. and i’m sorry if you disagree. castiel may have gone on his own terms, but they treated that beautiful sacrifice with disrespect and disdain, plus resolved his arc by putting him back where he started. he deserved better.

tahani

*deep breaths guys this is a long post i’m sorry* anywayyyy tahani!!! we love tahani obviously. let’s talk about her arc, because it always kinda bothered me. throughout the show, we see all the other character’s growing and expanding their knowledge of right and wrong. and, don’t get me wrong. we see tahani grow a lot. but she makes a lot of the same types of comments and shit like that. but it’s how she treats the reactions to those comments. by the end of the show, she laughs at the caricature of herself that the others see. she isn’t looking for vindication in name-dropping, she just does it. she is far less self-absorbed, and is genuinely interested in those around her. she fixes her relationships with her sister and her parents in a way that doesn’t feel forced and actually feels like a beautiful, healthy family reunion. 

she has a list and she does everything on it. it’s worth noting, that the things on her list are not at all what they would have been at the beginning of the show. most of them are humble “labor” type tasks, and all of them are in self improvement. tahani’s end on the show is not the same as everyone else’s. she realizes that she doesn’t need to be done. that there doesn’t have to be an end to self-improvement. and she becomes an architect. the writers perfectly embody her transformation from a self-obsessed rich girl who has never done a thing for herself and laughs at the lower-class to a down-to-earth worker that simply doesn’t want the journey to end. 

it’s incredible how perfectly the writers were able to close off these character arc’s without it feeling forced, and without ignoring their character development. imagine that. tahani chooses her own way, and it’s beautiful.

jack

jack’s ending may be the only one that i’ve actually somewhat come to terms with. it’s not terrible. it’s not great. but it’s not nearly as bad. because ignoring that awful monologue about every drop of rain and shit, jack really does end up helping people. he ends up doing something that he loves and that makes the world a better place. and he doesn’t lose his personality in it. but. i dunno, that’s still his destiny, right? to create paradise. and this is a show about ripping up the rule book, about choosing free will above all else… so to have every single character just fulfill their destiny is cheap. 

still… i’ll try to be unbiased. because really at the beginning of jack’s time on the show, he’s unsure what he wants. and at least, in the end, he’s sure. he has a wisdom that he’s always had but he’s now using. and i’m good with that. but what’s NOT okay about jack’s ending is the lack of on-screen family. jack learns that family is important. sam, cas, dean those are the people he cares about. and you’re telling me he would just NEVER see them again? and be okay with that? i know he rebuilds heaven with cas, but we don’t even get a story about him rescuing cas from the empty. and he seems in 15.19 to not be that concerned about it (after the amazing emotional scene at the beginning). jack should have cared about his family. he did. but they ruined that for him. so jack kline deserved better.

michael

oh man where do i start. michael’s growth is the biggest on the show. i mean. he starts as a literal demon and ends a human. he gets better, he falls in love with humanity (*castiel fan in me sobbing again*) and he chooses over and over to be good instead of bad. his whole arc is a classic redemption arc, and every single beat just gets better. he chooses selfishly to side with humans but in the end it turns out to be the best decision he could have made. because he develops emotions, he develops compassion, he develops a moral compass. 

and his end reflects that. because to complete this arc of a demon becoming more human… he literally becomes human!!!! it fits so well. and he’s allowed to make mistakes and be happy and gain all that humanity has to offer. this just shows that human!endgame for cosmic beings that become more human WORKS SO WELL (and it shoulda happened for cas and jack that’s all i’m saying). michael went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

eileen

oh boy… this one stings. because they brought her back, used her up, and we never saw her again. eileen was one of the best side characters on the show, and they rarely addressed her arc. she comes onto the show as a hunter seeking revenge, and gets that revenge in the same episode. her s15 arc is focused on what’s real and what’s not, with her relationship to sam admittedly being a central part of her character because… it’s supernatural and women can’t exist without that. but still! eileen grows throughout the show and in the end… we don’t even know what happens to her. it’s as if her arc wasn’t important enough to even glance at. 

it’s as if the connections the boys make outside of each other mean nothing when in reality they mean everything. they prove that the co-dependency is behind them and that family doesn’t end with blood and that real connections can be formed between people that last a lifetime. eileen was a disabled hunter that was shown to still be one of the best in the business, and they didn’t even give her the courtesy of a goodbye. eileen didn’t go on her own terms, and she deserved better.

janet

this is gonna unbalance my list but goddammit janet’s ending was perfect. she was a not-robot, not-girl that should have been incapable of feelings. but throughout the series we get to watch as she learns first-hand about human emotions and processes them. she cares about the humans in her charge and fights for them on multiple counts. 

in the end, we see janet come to terms with both her cosmic being side, and her human side. she never stops being with the “cockroaches.” she sees them all leave, she’s there for them while they’re there, and she also continues to speak her mind and live autonomously. janet was a non-human character done right. she lived on her own terms, and it was beautiful.

some honorable mentions

spn ignored (in the finale) chuck, amara, stevie, charlie, jody, donna, garth, bess, the other angels, claire, kaia, patience, alex, and the list goes ON in favor of focusing on JUST sam and dean. did none of those characters at least deserve a quick goodbye??????

the good place wrapped up multiple arcs i had completely forgotten about in a totally natural and not forced way. mindy, doug forester, (the mushroom guy, i know, it took me a second), pillboy, donkey doug, kamilah, tahani’s parents, eleanor’s mother, eleanor’s friends, chidi’s best friend, vicki, shawn, glenn, simone and so many that i’m forgetting all got satisfying ends that they totally deserved. 

they even fucking resolved FROG GUY’S arc and gave him a real frog. that’s right. frog guy (jeff) had a better character arc resolution than dean motherfucking winchester. 

heaven and hell

obviously in very different vehicles, both shows explore in depth the realities of the afterlife. and lemme tell ya, at the end of the day, one sits a whole lot better than the other. 

the good place finale ends this quest for the perfect afterlife by saying that everyone can improve and that an eternal paradise shouldn’t keep you from eternal rest. they pretty much make me wish that this is what our afterlife looked like. they handle everything with care so it’s balanced precariously in a way that doesn’t give you anxiety looking at it but instead fills you with peace and faith in humanity. 

supernatural addresses this series long battle between heaven and hell by creating a heaven where you drive for forty years without seeing the people (cough cough cas and jack not his parents) that matter to you and drink beer that tastes like shit. a place you can’t be happy or find any sense of peace until your brother has died and he’s there too.

and hell… well they barely even address it. there’s a new queen of hell i guess? but so what. it’s still very much heaven and hell in a way that’s the worst and hey plus to them… makes me wanna stay alive thank you very much. oh and purgatory is in shambles and not functioning properly cuz all that eve bullshit.

loose ends

whenever something is ending, you gotta tie up the loose ends. not in a “oh, we must wrap everything up and leave no stone unturned” kinda way but in a “wow, we should probably try to make this unambiguous because this is the last time we will ever see these characters” kinda way. 

the good place does that. so fucking masterfully. all these side plots with all these different characters were taken care of all while focusing on the main six characters. we get to see how their intervention has changed everyone else. for example, mindy’s arc is wrapped up perfectly, with eleanor going to save her.

plus different running jokes like “take it sleazy” are wrapped up, we revisit really old callbacks like the original neighborhood, and all of it feels natural and in the moment. it feels like full circle in a way that doesn’t erase growth. 

supernatural, on the other hand, left a million loose ends open. what happened to the boys they saved? where the fuck are jody, donna, etc.? did eileen make it back? cuz sam was pretty upset about that. what happened to it “being loud” in the empty? hell, what happened to the empty? what happened to hell? what about chuck? it woulda been nice to see just for a second what became of him. did charlie and stevie make it (i’m very invested in that relationship)? if we’re taking the original ending… why the fuck is jimmy there? did kansas just all,,, die? 

i’m not saying they needed to address everything… but god a few wrapped up storylines besides the brothers wouldn’t have hurt

coloring

can i just… real quick… as a giffer lodge a complaint

the good place has beautiful vibrant coloring in the finale

spn has like bland washed out whatever the fuck that is coloring. it’s not even the dark early aesthetic cuz they dropped that it’s just… ew. so. do with that what you will. 

conclusion

first… while writing this i realized just HOW MUCH it’s not about destiel… like believe me. i knew i wasn’t just pissed about destiel. but holy shit it’s not destiel at all like did i even mention destiel that much???? this was never about a ship. this was just a trash finale. 

in the end. the good place writers knew what they were doing. they knew their fans, they knew their characters, they knew their world, and they knew how to wrap it up in a way that was satisfying and sad and perfectly fit the tone of the whole show. it wasn’t out of character or rushed, basically every loose end was tied up without the audience even realizing that’s what they were doing, and i feel happy and complete having watched it. 

the supernatural ending was a betrayal. flat out. to the audience that has stuck by it in a way bigger way than the good place fandom. to the characters that have helped so many people. to the actors that have given so much of their lives. to the other members of the crew, to certain writers… all of it was just a slap in the face.

we deserved better guys. there are better endings possible. so i’m sorry. i really am. but i guess… that’s what fanfic is for, right?

[bogkeep]

i don’t have a specific starting point for this post. i’m just thinking about how there’s such a vast spectrum of relationships we can have with one another and tl;dr not putting all of your eggs in the same basket. romantic relationships get so much of the spotlight, and it’s understandable! they can be really important and exciting, and nothing i say is with the intent of taking away from that. god knows i’m having a lot of fun drawing my own characters reaching out to one another across a thorny terrain of difficult emotions and experiences to Smooch. i’m enjoying that a lot, and i’m enjoying my own romantic relationships, and i think especially for those of us that are queer it’s a really powerful and beautiful narrative, to love like that, to defy the fear and shame thrust upon us. but it’s also like, there’s no experience that is exclusive to Romantic Relationships, maybe save the feeling of falling in love - but even that, i think, isn’t very clear-cut. it might just be the aromantic side of me that is really struggling to understand the specifics - where goes the line between the rush of making a new friend and a crush? where goes the line between deep devotion and fondness for your best friend and being in love? context? perspective? realization? agreement? i believe there’s so many variations and feelings we don’t really have the vocabulary for yet, even though we try sometimes - but i’ve seen what the internet did to ‘queerplatonic’ and i don’t think i will ever quite forgive the cruelty and hostility some people leveled towards it. i remember years back when i tried to tell my mom i don’t think i was ever going to be in a relationship (okay, i was wrong about that one, and i’m glad that i was, even if it would’ve been perfectly okay if i wasn’t) and the way she reacted wasn’t the way a lot of people react, like “oh no! that’s so sad!! there’s someone out there for you!!” but more like “hm, no, people need relationships. you’re gonna need a network of people, and when you are together with someone you get access to a whole new network of people that they know.” which is such a practical way of looking at it, honestly. very Marriage Of Convenience-core. but obviously you don’t need to be in love with someone to connect with them or to have a network. usually the Cool Free Benefits are not our main priority when we date someone. i’m still close with my ex-girlfriend. my canadian boyfriend who loves me very much views his ability to marry someone as a way to bestow healthcare benefits upon them and is willing to bestow it upon any friend in need. i don’t think one person can be everything for you. i don’t think one person should be everything for you. you should not be everything to another. you belong to yourself first and foremost. and i understand, there are situations that are deeply isolated or complicated and you may really only have that one person. sometimes we lean a little hard. but it’s, it’s not how it should be forever. we’re not always gonna be perfectly functional or easy to be with and being a human person is messy! you deserve love no matter what, but nobody owes it to you to be your soulmate. it’s like... there’s all this abundance around you. there’s all kinds of people who can support you. to love you, to be your mentor, to hug you, to hook up with, to listen to you, to look after you in times of need, to make you food, to make you laugh, to keep you company - there’s so many many ways we conntect with other humans! sometimes out of love, sometimes out of chance, sometimes it’s literally a transactional relationship involving money. i think we love and trust in many more ways than we’re aware of. sometimes a stranger compliments you and you will never see them again, but you’ll remember their words forever. the bus driver will take you safely to where you need to be. a professional therapist can help you in ways your loved ones are unable to. a musician who has no idea you even exist has given you just the right beat to get through a difficult day. when i was younger i disliked the idea of relationships because they were only ever sold to me in one way. i have since dismantled that one singular concept, rebuilt from scraps that serve me, and found love and community in the ways that fit me and bring me joy. i don’t have to think of myself as the cornerpiece of a jigsaw puzzle that has such limited pieces to click with.

[starlightaudio]

Final day of our Indiegogo

[Image ID: A digital painting. The background is a blue, white, and pink nebula filled with white stars over a dark blue background. Bifrost, a glowing rainbow bridge, stretches back to Asgard, a mass of forested land floating in the middle of space. The words “Twilight Over Midgard” are written in white handwriting over the painting.]

https://igg.me/at/tomseason1

We’ve been raising money for our queer modern fantasy Norse Mythology podcast. This is the last day we’re crowdfunding and we haven’t quite reached our goal yet. We’d like to share what some of our cast and crew says about what this show means to them.

Chijioke Williams (voice of Sif): “It’s so nice to be part of a cast with trans performers and characters pushing the boundaries of storytelling. I love the representation, and I’m thrilled to show the Audio  Drama community what fresh takes on familiar stories can look like.”

Kiran Kumar (voice of Benji Daley): “Working with a group of incredibly talented and supportive actors and creators has been nothing short of amazing as a VO newcomer.  Also, after growing up as the token brown person in the ‘burbs of the southern US, it’s quite refreshing to now be the token cis straight guy instead”

Dana Creasman (voice of Frigg): "The show has been so much fun to work on! Nick and Cassie and the rest of the cast and crew have put a ton of love and attention to this world and these characters, and I'm both honored to be involved and excited to see where the story goes!"

Maki Yamazaki (voice of Akemi Hayashi): “Twilight Over Midgard is one of those rare shows where diversity is given the attention it deserves. The cast and crew are all incredibly talented, as well as being a total joy to work with!  The script kept me absolutely enraptured from start to finish, and getting to play a character who closely reflects my identity is both kinda spooky and totally awesome! I'm really proud of the work that we've made together and I can't wait for others to hear this special show.”

A.R. Olivier (director): "Being a part of this show has meant everything to me, it's been easily some of the most fun & inspired work I've been a part of, I've been able to meet & work with so many people I admire.  Not only that but we laughed (so much my face hurt) & I know I cried  so I'm convinced all that warmth & emotion is going to pour through the story when people listen to it "

Nick Webster (co-creator and voice of Loki): “TOM has been such a labor of love from day one. I feel incredibly lucky to have such an amazing cast and crew onboard to make it a reality when it started off as just a small idea between my partner and I. I’m so proud of the work we’ve done and I’m so excited to see where this show takes us.”

Cassie Josephs (co-creator and voice of Morgan Daley): “I’ve had a deep desire to create stories about people like myself since before I knew who I was. Long before I knew I was queer, I was drawn to stories of queer characters.  Now, as a creator, I want to make stories that my loved ones and I see ourselves in. I’m thrilled to take my favorite mythology—one that's very important to me as a Norse Pagan—and give it a queer spin.”

This is the final day of our Indiegogo and we’re only at 64% of our goal. If you want to support queer stories made by queer people, please consider donating to our fundraiser:

https://igg.me/at/tomseason1

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Parallels | Chapter 20

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist! | Parallels Masterlist

Characters: OC! Violet Grace Dawson, Luke Patterson, Julie Molina, Carrie Wilson, Bobby Wilson, Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Flynn nolastname, Willie nolastname, Nick Danforth-Evans, Dirty Candy 

Guideline: Sunset Universe is the universe in which Sunset Curve is famous and Violet is friends with Carrie, Julie and Flynn. Candy Universe is the universe in which Dirty Candy is more famous and Sunset Curve has broken up. 

Song(s) used: Perfect Harmony - Julie and The Phantoms

Warnings: Bit of cursing

Words:  2,777

The knock on Alex’s door startled him a little. He was getting ready for the day, not expecting anyone to knock on his door before nine in the morning. None of the boys were ever up that early. 

“Come in?” he called, making it sound more like a question than a command. 

The door slowly inched open, revealing a shy-looking Violet in the doorway. He wasn’t used to this version of Violet. He’d befriended the confident, sassy version of her. The one that just barged into rooms, owning her place on this earth. 

“Vi, hey!” he greeted, a little surprised to see her there. 

She chuckled slightly, nervously fiddling with her handbag. “I don’t know why I’m here, but something told me this morning that I should come and have a chat with you…” 

Alex’s head tilted slightly. 

“I had a dream about us talking about a song you wrote. It felt more like a memory than a dream, so I felt like I should… I don’t know… Come and talk to you?” 

A chuckle erupted out of Alex. “I had a conversation with Violet before she left. I showed her a song I wrote.” He turned to his nightstand and grabbed the notebook he had left on it. Opening it on the right page, he showed it to Violet. 

Something inside her shifted. She hadn’t worked on any music since getting back, but she felt as though Alex did need her help a little, as though he was asking her for some help. With more than just the song. 

Her eyes skidded across the page. She could feel the hurt and melancholy seep off the page. She could only imagine what it would sound like with the music added to it. 

“You should show this to the boys,” she whispered, amazed by the power this song held. 

Alex shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not today, at least. Our manager is coming over soon for a meeting.” 

“All the more reason to show them!” Violet exclaimed excitedly. This was the most joy she had felt since returning to this universe. “I know what this song is about, Alex. I know about Willie…” 

The mention of the boy’s name caused Alex’ head to snap up in surprise. “How do you know about Willie?” 

“You guys are actually in a relationship in the other universe,” she told him with a small smile and she could see the relief on his face. “Why’s it you’re not out in this universe?” 

“Management,” he replied angrily. Violet decided not to push it. She could feel the frustration around the topic. “That’s why I can’t show this song today. Not when our manager is coming over.” 

A burst of confidence coursed through Violet as she spoke the next words. “Do you mind if I sit in on this meeting?” It surprised herself a little, but she went with it anyway. 

“Why?” Alex questioned, shutting his notebook and placing it back on his nightstand. 

Violet shrugged. “I feel like it’s a good day for a meeting.” 

While Alex went to wake up the boys, Violet occupied herself in the kitchen, getting some breakfast ready for them. In her mind, she went over the things she would say to their manager. There were a bunch of things she wanted to say. A bunch of which were things she knew the other Violet would say. 

“What are you doing here?” Reggie asked when he entered the kitchen, a surprised smile on his face. 

Violet snapped out of her thoughts, facing the boys that walked in. “Getting you guys prepped for this meeting with your manager,” she replied and handed them plates with stacks of pancakes. 

The boys happily ate the breakfast she’d made, no questions asked. Not even when she joined them in the music room when their manager had arrived. All five of them settled on the couch while their manager sat on the armchair. 

“Okay, I’m gonna cut to the chase. Here’s what we’re gonna do to promote your new album; a launch party at the mansion, like we’d done last time. After this, all four of you will be seen with at least one girl on your arm.” The boys stirred in their seats when the manager’s eyes landed on Violet. “But I can tell one of you is already on that.” 

Violet couldn’t help but roll  her eyes at him. “Seriously?” she spoke up, surprising everyone in the room, including herself. 

“Excuse me?” The manager challenged. 

“I’m gonna cut to the chase,” she started, mimicking the boss himself, “Here’s what we’re gonna do for the promotion of their next album;” she raised her voice a little when saying the next words, “actual promotion of the album.” 

“I’m sorry?” he scoffed. 

“Yeah, you should be sorry.” Violet’s heart started beating faster as she continued. “You’ve been living off these boys’ lives without asking them what they wanted. They wanna make music. They wanna love who they wanna love without any restrictions. They wanna live their lives and be them. Authentically. Unapologetically.” 

The boys stared at Violet with wide eyes and surprised smiles. This was the Violet they had come to know. The Violet that had lived here over the summer. Had they switched again without them even noticing? 

“I’m sorry but who are you to tell me how to run my business?” 

Violet stood up from her spot on the couch next to Alex. “I’m Violet Grace Dawson, and I’m gonna need you to step the fuck up and let these boys do whatever they wanna do. Let them make the music they wanna make. Let them love who they wanna. It’s not gonna affect their music or their success. If anything, them being true to themselves will attract even more people because they’re gonna be able to identify themselves with them. The whole world is queer, why not let this band be queer?!” 

“It’s been proven that straight white men have more success than the queer,” the manager objected. “And what are you gonna do against me, huh? Little girl?”

Violet scoffed. “If you’re not gonna be a good manager to them–” she thought about what she was gonna say next and eventually settled on, “I’m gonna do it myself!” 

The man let out a bitter laugh. “As if a child like you would ever be able to manage a band like this one!” 

“This child has her connections. My mother happens to be a lawyer and my father is a manager himself. Used to be pretty good in this game. So either you step the fuck up or I’m gonna get this band the manager they deserve!” 

Her face had gone beet red, her hands clammy and her heart was pounding. That was exhilarating and scary at the same time. But the payoff was more than worth it. The manager got up from his chair, regarded Violet once more before turning to the boys. 

“You’re fired,” he said to them, but all four of them shook their heads. 

“You can’t fire us,” Luke said and got up as well. “Because we’re firing you.” 

Everyone held their breath as the guy opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and turned to leave the room. A collective sigh echoed off the walls before the gang erupted into cheers while wrapping Violet up into a group hug. 

“Did you switch places with the other Violet again?!” Bobby questioned excitedly. 

Violet giggled. “Nope, still me… Gosh that was scary!” 

“Your parents really can help us though, right?” Reggie queried anxiously. 

“Obviously. My dad owns a chain of supermarkets, but he used to be a music manager back in his days. I’m sure if he knew he had a band as great as this one, he’d get back to that world asap!” 

“You’re amazing,” Luke told her, shaking his head. 

“Thanks for doing this for us, Vi,” said Alex. 

She smiled at him. “Don’t miss the gun at the starting line.”

   While the boys tried to figure out a way to switch the two Violets back, the girl herself kept her mind preoccupied with Dirty Candy rehearsals. Though she wasn't sure what to think of the new route the band was going into, especially since she had no clue how to play the drums. 

She asked the girls to focus on choreography right now, stalling every possible instrument-rehearsal for as long as she could. Thankfully, Carrie helped her out and came up with new excuses every single day. 

“Are you okay?” Carrie asked Violet at the end of the Dirty Candy rehearsal. 

“Yeah,” Violet breathed out, “I’m really feeling it today, you know? Keeps my mind off of things.” 

Carrie knew what she meant by ‘things’. It was Luke. She knew that if Violet stopped, she’d be thinking of the boy she had fallen in love with. The boy from the alternate universe. 

“Should we try and find a way to get you back?” Carrie then asked. “We did it once, I’m sure we can do it a second time? Which is technically a third since  the first was accidental…” Carrie’s blabbing reminded Violet of other Carrie. She was this intense, this excitable. 

“I’m sure that, if the universe wants me back, it’ll do its job.” 

Violet knew there was nothing she could do to switch them back. The universe had to figure this one out by itself and all she had to do was wait. Wait and wait and write. That same night, she picked up a pen and her notebook. 

“Don’t blink, no I don’t wanna miss it One thing and it’s back to the beginning ‘cause everything is rushing in fast Keep holding on, never look back And it’s one-two-three-four times That I’ll try for one more night Light a fire in my eyes I’m going out of my mind” 

Then the melody in her mind switched, as though someone had switched the radio station. For a second, she heard Luke singing. She heard his voice, singing these words to her that she had never heard before. Words that were meant for her to hear. Words she needed to hear. 

Not wanting to forget those words, she flipped through to an empty page and started jotting them down while her heart bled and beat faster at the same time. These were Luke’s words. She could feel it. This was from him, to her. 

This was the perfect harmony. 

After Reggie, Alex and Bobby had left the rehearsal space, Luke and Violet were the last ones left. There was a comfortable silence wrapped around them as they sat on the couches, basking in each other’s company. 

“How did you do that?” he asked, “With the manager? Back in the day, you barely dared to say ‘hello’ to strangers, let alone give off on our manager like that.” 

Violet shrugged, “I may have learned a thing or two about confidence from Carrie and Luke – the alternate universe versions of you.” 

Luke couldn’t help but smile at that. “If you could, would you wanna go back?” 

The question had taken Violet aback a little. Would she want to go back? She did miss Carrie and Bobby’s bickering. She missed Reggie’s smart ass and Alex’s sass. She even missed Dirty Candy a little. 

She missed Luke. More than anything. 

“If I could, yes…” Luke tilted his head slightly, urging her to elaborate. “I felt right, there, you know? Like a fish in water. That was my place, my home. More so than this has ever been…” Luke shot her a tight-lipped smile. “But there’s no way I’m ever gonna be able to get back.” 

There was nothing Luke could say to that. He wanted to help her. Somehow. Someway. If it would mean this Violet could be happy. If it would mean he’d get his Violet back. But there was nothing he could do about that. All he could do was make this universe as bearable as possible for this Violet. 

“I started writing a song, by the way,” Luke announced and got up to retrieve his songbook from the piano wing. He opened it to the right page and showed it to her. At first glance, Violet could tell this was a song he’d written with Violet in his mind. 

Something this Violet had wanted him to do for years. 

Violet got up from the couch and made her way to the piano. She sat down and started playing the keys, a sweet melody floating out of the majestic instrument. Her eyes quickly found Luke’s, urging him to start singing. 

“Step into my world Bittersweet love story about a girl Shook me to the core Voice like an angel, I've never heard before”

Violet smiled to herself. Who’d have thought that this guy, whom she was convinced was the biggest jerk on the planet, would write this song for a girl? A version of herself. A better, more confident version of herself. But that was something she needed to shake off. 

She took the next verse, just to preoccupy her own mind with something other than her alternate self. 

“Here in front of me Shining so much brighter than I have ever seen Life can be so mean But when he goes I know he doesn't leave”

Their voices blended together on the chorus and it reminded them both of each other’s parallel self. Though their personalities were completely different, their voices still sounded the same. Their voices still worked so well together. 

“The truth is finally breaking through Two worlds collide when I'm with you Our voices rise and soar so high We come to life when we're In perfect harmony”

“Whoa, whoa Perfect harmony Whoa, whoa Perfect harmony”

Luke grabbed Violet’s hands, pulling her up from the piano stool and guiding her towards the middle of the rehearsal space whilst they alternated lines. 

“You set me free”

“You and me together is more than chemistry”

Holding her hands close to him, the two sang to each other, almost forgetting this wasn’t the song for the two of them, but rather for their alternate selves. 

“Love me as I am I'll hold your music here inside my hands”

“We say we're friends, we play pretend You're more to me, we're everything Our voices rise and soar so high We come to life when we're In perfect harmony”

“I wrote a song,” Violet had told Luke. She had written a song and now the two of them were dancing together. As though they’d forgotten all about the parallel universes and they were singing to the person they had fallen in love with over the past few months. 

“Whoa, whoa Perfect harmony Whoa, whoa Perfect harmony”

It felt so natural, dancing and singing together. Like they had been doing it for years. 

Luke then stopped, holding her hands in front of him as they sang the bridge together. They were all smiles and glistening eyes. In a dream-like state, hoping their parallel selves would feel what they were feeling. 

“I feel your rhythm in my heart, yeah You are my brightest, burning star, whoa-whoa I never knew a love so real (so real) We're heaven on Earth, melody and words And when we are together we're In perfect harmony”

Luke then swayed her to the left, then to the right. She twirled and they shuffled along to the music in their heads. 

“Whoa, whoa Perfect harmony Whoa, whoa”

Violet almost felt like they were in Dirty Dancing, her favorite film, and they were having a moment like Johnny and Baby. Intimate. Sensational. Craving the wrong person. 

“We say we're friends We play pretend You're more to me We create”

Luke had twirled her inwards before twirling her outwards, letting her turn and turn and turn until she returned to him from the other side. 

“a perfect harmony”

The girl that had just been in his arms seconds ago, had gone. She’d disappeared and instead, reappeared on the other side. He knew right then and there that it wasn’t the same girl. He knew who he had caught in his arms. 

“Violet,” he whispered, looking into those brown orbs he’d come to love. “It’s you, isn’t it?” 

The girl looked around her. Seconds ago, she was dancing with Luke in the rehearsal space in Beverly Hills. Now, she found herself in Luke’s arms in Julie’s garage. She was back. She was home. 

“I’m home,” she whispered before Luke kissed her. Sweetly. Hungrily. Lovingly. 

She was back home. They managed to switch them back. Once more. 

To the universe where she felt most herself. 

Everything Taglist: 

@bonobos-candy-bar-2 @calamitykaty​ @littlemissaddict​ @n0wornever​ @phantompogues​ @praetorofthelegion @sweetpeasturtleneck @wanniiieeee​  @lesko_ @sunsetwilson 

JATP Taglist: 

@90ssunsetcurve @angryknightstatesmantrash @authentic-gillespie @bexxy @bookdealer5 @bright-molina @brooke0297 @bucksmaddie @buckybarnesishot310 @caitsymichelle13 @candycornmgg @catgirlpwr @charliesmountains @cordeliascrown @crybabyddl @echocharm17618 @fangirlangioma @flower-name @frickin-bats @gray_jato @hannahhistorian92 @happinessinthedarkesttimes @headheartbellarke @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @jandthephantoms @jaskiers-sweetkiss @jatp-is-god @joynerxmercer @kaitieskidmore1 @kcd15 @kelpwithawhy @kinda-really-lost @kiss-themoongoodbye @knitsessed @lilostif16 @lookingthroughmirrors @magicalxdaydream @marinettepotterandplagg @musicianspiritsblog @mystic-writings @notasofti @pxperphxntom @rangerelik @rh-girlonfire @ruvaitkevicius @spencerreidwhore @stars-soph @stressyanddepressysimp @sunsetcurvej @talk-on-the-street @tefilovesreading @tenaciousperfectionunknown @teti-menchon0604 @the-hufflepuff-hunter  @thedarkqueenofavalon @cucumbers-and-olives @thequirkybookaholic @threeghostboys  @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @whitetigerlover17 @boggie-brainrot @wiselight @gigglysokkamcu @nightfurya​ @jatplover​

Luke/Charlie Taglist: 

@camiladelrio98 @cloudy-skyler @gingerxarmy​ @killerqueenfan @lolychu @lovesanimals @luckylouiebug  @lukeys-giggle​ @myfriendscallmebeans​ @needyreggie​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @rachmmb​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @thecharlietomygillespie @whitemanshoe19​ @rottenroyalebooks @sofiamich2022​

Crossed out names are the users I was unable to tag. Please make sure everything in your settings is set so I am allowed to tag you or if you changed your url, please drop me a message/ask!

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