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darnmand · 3 months ago

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Historical notes on Armand’s cultural background in the show

In the interest of not playing fast and loose with South Asian history and geopolitics, I have, to the best of my ability, compiled this guide on Armand as a character in the historical context of the regions and periods he is associated with. I am not an expert on these things, so anyone more educated than me is welcome to suggest edits. Probably the most complex topic here is language, and so that is the section in which I most likely made errors.

While I do have some formal academic training in this area, I must emphasize again that I am not an expert, nor am I native to any of the countries listed here, so I am functioning mostly on outsider knowledge. In the interest of making this accessible, most of this information can also be found on Wikipedia with a quick google search. This is not definitive or exhaustive, but it is meant to encourage people to be conscientious about not slipping into Orientalist thought or discourse when discussing the character (or ever, obviously). Also please remember not to conflate the character and the actor. This may also serve as a tool for fic writers.

Content warning: discussion of slavery/slave trade

(Main content below the cut)

Period and Region

India

Armand tells Daniel in s1e7 that he is 514 in 2022, meaning he was either born or made around the year 1508. He tells both Louis and Daniel that he is from Delhi, or was at least in Delhi when he was abducted. Delhi is a city in Northwestern India that sits on the border between the states of Uttar Pradesh and Haryana. (There is an Old Delhi and a New Delhi. These two cities abut and overlap one another. Armand refers to Old Delhi.) Therefore, Armand would have been living in Delhi during the latter years of the Delhi Sultanate, which was an empire of Islamic dynasties that ruled Northwestern India from the late 12th century until the Mughal conquest in 1526. (The Delhi Sultanate also pushed expansion into the south and the east during various periods throughout its reign. Its main opponents were other Muslim kingdoms along with Hindu kingdoms, especially in the south.)

Italy

Armand would have been living in the Republic of Venice during the height of the Venetian Renaissance. Like the Delhi Sultanate, the Republic of Venice was also in its later years during this time, but, although the Republic did face economic and political unrest during this period, they remained the richest city-state in Italy. Marius was a Venetian painter, a contemporary of Tintoretto, according to Armand in season 1. Tintoretto lived from 1518 to 1594. Whether the painting Daniel is examining in the episode was painted before or after Armand’s arrival in Venice is unclear, but we can assume that he was living in Venice as Amadeo in the early decades of the 16th century. The Republic entered its full fledged decline in the 18th century, by which time Armand would have been in Paris.

Language

In India

Armand most likely spoke an early version of Hindustani (likely Hindavi) while living in Delhi, although, according to the books, Armand has mostly forgotten his native language by the time Marius buys him. Hindustani first developed under the Delhi Sultanate, and is still spoken today. Its two main branches today are Hindi and Urdu. (Many other languages are also spoken in India today, including English, Punjabi, Tamil, Bengali, and many more. Sadly, not all of these languages enjoy legal status.)

Armand may have also spoken a dialect of Western Hindi, which was commonly spoken in Haryana and Uttar Pradesh, and is an ancestor of Hindustani.

Hindavi and Persian were the official languages of the sultanate.

Hindavi is the most likely due to his region, period, and his Sanskrit name, Arun. Sanskrit is an Old Indo-Aryan language from which many later Indo-Aryan languages are derived. (Sanskrit names are still common in South Asia.)

In Italy and France

However, as mentioned previously, Armand forgets his native language early in life. Therefore, it is unclear whether he counts it among the languages he speaks when he tells Daniel that French was his fifth language.

While in Venice in the books, Armand is trained in classical Latin and Greek, and often communicates in Greek, which was also the canonical language of Eastern Orthodox which he practiced in the books before his abduction. Italian and Venetian were also spoken in Venice at the time, so it is likely that Armand picked up both of those while living there. Even if he only picked up Venetian, he would have learned Italian while living with the Children of Darkness in Rome. Venetian, Italian, and Latin were the official languages of the Republic of Venice.

He tells Daniel that he learned both French and English while living in Paris (making English his sixth language).

Religion

In Dehli

The Sanskrit name Arun also suggests that Armand was from a Hindu family living in Delhi. While having a Sanskrit name does not necessarily preclude his being Muslim, it is just more likely that he was Hindu. The majority religion in Delhi during the sultanate was Hinduism, while Islam was practiced mainly by the elite, although conversion was common. The state religion of the sultanate was Sunni Islam. Christianity, Buddhism, Jainism, and Zoroastrianism were also practiced in the sultanate.

Sanskrit is the canonical language of both Hinduism and Buddhism, but Buddhism was facing persecution during this period, and therefore becoming increasingly rarer in the north.

We can assume that Armand was devoted most likely to Hinduism, or possibly one of the others listed, as Armand is deeply religious in the books.

In Dubai, Venice, and Paris

We do see Armand praying according to Islamic practice in season 1. Even more confusingly, Daniel points out that the phrase “asr namozi” is not Arabic, but perhaps Kazakh. “Asr namozi” is actually an Uzbek phrase referring to the asr prayer, or “afternoon prayer,” in Islam. Why Armand would be speaking Uzbek is lost on me, as nothing else in his history necessarily suggests ties to the region. It could be part of his Rashid disguise to somehow misdirect Daniel. Whatever the case, as a highly intelligent five hundred year old vampire, I’m sure Armand could learn any language he wanted.

While Armand may not have practiced Islam during his life in Delhi, it is entirely possible he later converted. If Armand was Hindu, it would also make sense that he lapsed out of practice in Venice, as, in the books, Armand loses almost all ties to his native culture while in Venice (his name, his language, his religion, etc.) at least partially due to Marius’s influence. Marius’s beliefs are closely aligned with western humanism, and so he discourages Armand from complete devotion to religion. The state religion of the Republic was Roman Catholicism, but Eastern Orthodox, Protestantism, and Judaism were also practiced. There was also a small Muslim population, mainly Ottoman merchants.

The “Children of Darkness,” the vampire cult which kidnaps Armand in Venice and which he later leads in Paris, follows Catholic teachings. In the book and in the show, the cult’s obsession with Satan is explicitly Catholic. Satan is also an adversarial figure in Islam (called “Iblis” or “Shaitan”), so if Armand was a practitioner of Islam before, he likely would have been able to syncretize those beliefs and practices with those of the Children or Darkness. However, by the time Lestat finds Armand, he has lost faith (if he ever had it) in the teachings of the Children of Darkness. The last is true of both the show and the novels.

In the novels, Armand alternates between periods of religious fanaticism and zealotry and total atheism, so it would make sense that, along these oscillations, he would also move between different religions, trying to find the right one. In the books, after Armand meets Lestat, he enters a period of atheism that lasts well into the twentieth century. If the show is following this sequence, then it is likely that Armand’s praying in front of Daniel is just part of his disguise. However, the show clearly is not following the novels’ timeline to a T, so it is also entirely possible Armand is genuinely praying in this scene.

Slave Trade

(Disclaimer: Slavery is, unfortunately, ubiquitous across cultures and time periods. While slavery is deplorable in any context, the intent of this post is not to make moral judgements about any one culture. It is simply to discuss the possible historical context of a fictional character. We ought to condemn slavery wherever we see it, but we ought not to view it as pathological to one culture or another. Slavery is still practiced in various forms today (wage slavery, convict leasing, illegal human trafficking, etc.) Slavery serves a capitalist market, but it can create revenue in other systems as well.)

Slave trade was a major economic practice under the Delhi Sultanate, with the enslaved most commonly being of Turkic or Hindu origin.

(From the Wikipedia page on “Slavery in India.”)

Enslavement of Muslims was far less common under the Delhi Sultanate (although many enslaved people converted to Islam), and so this, again, suggests Armand was most likely a Hindu.

Slave trade was highly regulated under the sultanate, and private slave trade was essentially banned. The exporting of enslaved people on the international market was an important source of revenue for the sultanate, especially during military campaigns. (Slavery continued in the Mughal period, but in somewhat different contexts.)

Therefore, Armand was likely a young Hindu who was abducted in Delhi with sanction from the state and sent overseas to be sold on the international market, landing him in Venice.

However, it is also possible that Armand was abducted by Venetians, as the Republic often sent merchant ships to foreign countries, including India, during this period. The Republic also had many trade outposts and territories in various central and west Asian cities. I am unsure whether this type of trade would have been considered legal or permissible under the sultanate.

In the books, Armand is abducted by the Ottomans and taken to Constantinople/Istanbul to be sold. This is a less likely possibility for the show, given the shift in region.

If you’ve stayed with me this long, thanks for reading. All bolded terms have corresponding Wikipedia articles. This post may be edited according to new information or outside corrections.

#the vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #armand #interview with the vampire amc #interview with the vampire spoilers #book spoilers #the vampire armand #iwtv amc #amc iwtv #iwtv spoilers #iwtv #tvc #iwtv text post #iwtv discourse #iwtv theory #iwtv fic

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 months ago

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🌟🎉Keepblr Wrapped 2024 🎉🌟

thanks for your patience and contributions! i've tried my best to get a good overview, but if I've missed anything you feel crucial, please do add on :)

this year was quite eventful. here's a few highlights (not in order):

Fintan Pyren won Keeper sexyman for the second year in a row

Sal (worldsunlikemyown) created a script for the Enlightened language!

Shannon announced we'd have a 9.5 instead of book 10, to mixed reviews

Unraveled's cover was revealed, and everyone tore into it. Is Keefe actually attractive? The world may never know

Tam cam. featuring months of about 10,000 different fake blogs, detectives, and accusations--to the point it needed it's own separate tag

wiityispb won the best kotlc quote bracket!

we started translating wiityispb into several languages (Punjabi) (Arabic) (Nahuatl) (Hindi) (French) (there's more, too)

people started making bingo cards for Unraveled

a handful of people tried to get kotlc trending, absolutely flooding the tag and rendering it unusable for a day or two

Lavacake (marella x fitz), and the ship name arguments it started

Roisin (camelspit) hosted a skribbli.io session!

abscourse, the neverending debate about whether Keefe has abs (he shouldn't), which also dragged asscourse back to light (whether fintan pyren has a fat or flat ass (it's flat))

Lady Cadence won the 2024 Keeper Sexywoman bracket!

the Fairy Tale AU Exchange! featuring 54 lovely works you should peruse <3

a second event, the Keeper Big Bang 2024! find the works under the ao3 collection and by perusing the keeper big bang 2024 tag!

kotlc and keepblr's Fanlore pages are now being updated by Catherine! (everliving-everblaze)

there were also several themed weeks, such as Ancients Week and Tiertice Week 2024!

the infamous Anti-Keefe Rant by Stria (the-way-astray)

Hethen, Elwin x Gethen, which also sparked ship name arguments

we tormented @/do-you-ship-this-book-couple with a million kotlc ships

Fitz Vacker won the best keeper character 2024 bracket!

During said bracket, Quil (bookwyrminspiration) developed a severe, ongoing loathing for Watson the Dog, which people torment it about to this day

We got brand new official art by chrissabug!

like half the fandom was accused of being Katie (myfairkatiecat)

Roisin (camelspit) hosted another year of Roisin's Reading Rumble!

Strieefe, the pairing between Stria (the-way-astray) and her least favorite character, Keefe Sencen. Now with 21 (and counting) different fics, 8 artworks, and 2 songs!!

A few Unraveled scenes leaked, sending the fandom into a panic--half from the contents of the leak, half from the scramble to avoid said contents

Quil (bookwyrminspiration) drew krocs, which Fin (fintan-pyren) actually made

Unraveled, book 9.5, was officially published!! (Quil, bookwyrminspitation's, notes from the tour) with canonical queer characters!! the fandom took this very well.

They did not take the timeline well. There were many debates about when the series takes place given pop culture references in 9.5

Finally, we started transing several characters genders again! Notably, Laith Vacker

This brings 2024 to a close, leaving us all still riding the high (low?) of Unraveled. Jesus fuck, y'all. what a year. can't wait to do it again <3

#kotlc #kotlc wrapped 2024 #unraveled spoilers #this is based off of both suggestions of things to include and going through people's blogs #but i am of course one person with an unavoidably biased perspective of the fandom and notable events #so seriously. if i've missed something. please do add on!#also again. thanks for your patience #i'm not usually the one to do the summary so i didn't have anything prepared #and then when i was asked the semester had just started. so appreciate ur waiting :)

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bellaxgiornata · 2 years ago

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All These Years [Part 2: "Of Drinking and Dishonesty"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 3.9k

a/n: Enjoy the next little angsty installment for this series! I've been having fun writing a bit more about the college period than expected and our next installment gets angstier. Because who does Matt date in college? Yup. She's here. You can find the entire list of installments for this series here. Feedback is always appreciated if you're enjoying the series as well!

Tag list: @theetherealbloom @rotscinema

“Okay, okay, so I took Punjabi and didn’t learn anything. Big deal!” Foggy said, waving a dismissive hand. “At least I got to talk to that really hot chick in class.”

“But that’s all you did,” Matt pointed out. “You never even managed to get her number.”

Foggy let out a sigh, a faraway look on his face as he gazed just past Matt’s shoulder. You giggled at the sight; you’d heard the story about the girl Fog had taken Punjabi just to talk to many times before, but it never failed to amuse you how little he’d actually learned because he’d been distracted by her instead.

“So what about you?” Matt asked.

He turned in your direction, leaning his elbows along the table and drawing himself closer to you. Your fingers were fiddling nervously with the beer bottle on the table in front of you, absently peeling the label from it. The way Matt was focused on you with that little grin on his mouth in the dimly lit bar had sent your heart racing, the weight of his sightless gaze on you behind his dark glasses making you nervous. For a moment your eyes lingered on his lips, wondering just how great of a kisser he might be. How it might feel if he just leaned a bit closer towards you and connected his mouth to yours. Or what it would be like to curl up with him in your bed after this, feel his tongue in your mouth and his hands roaming your body instead of someone else’s…

You cleared your throat, shoving those thoughts quickly away. You flushed when you realized you’d been staring silently at Matt, his brows having started to rise curiously onto his forehead at you.

“What about me?” you asked awkwardly.

“I never hear you talk about going on dates or taking classes just to meet a guy,” Matt said, that grin still on his mouth. “I think it’s your turn to spill some embarrassing stories.”

You met Foggy’s eyes on your other side, his smile faltering at Matt’s question. Swallowing hard, your gaze quickly dropped down as you focused on your beer bottle in front of you again. You shrugged in response.

“Guess no one’s caught my eye,” you lied.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Matt shaking his head. Looking back up at him, you noticed his grin had widened on his perfect mouth. Immediately you frowned at the sight.

“Come on, be honest here,” Matt pressed, leaning even closer to you as one of his dark brows rose up onto his forehead. “You’ve never taken a class just to talk to someone? Or anything like that?”

You exhaled slowly, eyes falling away from Matt. It’s not like you could be entirely truthful here. Maybe you hadn’t taken a class to get to know someone you’d had a crush on like Foggy, or asked for assistance to intentionally get some one-on-one time with someone like Matt had often done. But you had become best friends with the guy you had a thing for. Rearranged your entire schedule to fit his so you could see him almost every day despite how utterly pathetic it often made you feel.

But you certainly couldn’t admit that .

“Don’t tell me there’s no one you have a thing for,” Matt urged after a moment. “I won’t believe you.”

His arm slid across the table to nudge yours in a friendly, playful gesture. Your eyes instantly dropped down to where he’d touched you, your arm feeling like that single, brief touch had sent a burning fire through your entire body. But when your eyes darted back up to Matt’s face, your attention was drawn to just over his shoulder. There was a young woman in a group of a few others back at the bar, and it was obvious how her attention kept shifting back to Matt, checking him out.

Shoulders slumping, your head dropped low as you focused back on your beer bottle. That jealous, dejected feeling washed over you. It was one you’d become familiar with lately, feeling it whenever Matt was flirting, or being checked out, or out on a date, or clearly out having sex with someone.

“Not anyone who’d ever notice me,” you muttered.

“Oh well now I’m sure that’s not true,” Matt said good-naturedly. “How could someone not notice you? You’re amazing. Right, Fog?”

Your head flew up, eyes going wide at Matt’s compliment. He’d called you amazing. Matt had never said anything like that before about you. Your mind suddenly was spiraling in a different direction for once, thoughts quickly running through your mind one after another.

Could Foggy have been right? Was it possible Matt maybe did have an interest in you? Maybe all this time all you’d needed to do was just tell him how you felt. Maybe he’d never asked you on a date before because you weren’t forward with your feelings like all of the other women who’d very openly flirted with him.

Maybe it was just as simple as that.

“I tell her that all the time,” Foggy agreed easily. “And I’m sure whoever this guy is sees it, too.”

He shot you a pointed look before his eyes darted meaningfully across the table to Matt. Slowly your gaze followed where Foggy’s had, attention returning back to Matt. He had focused back on you as well, that beautiful charming smile of his on his mouth. Biting your lip, you contemplated thinking up some way to just tell Matt how you felt here and now and put everything out there in the open. Especially before the girl making eyes at him could come over and steal him away for the night. But before you could open your mouth, Matt was continuing on.

“You should really give yourself more credit,” he told you. “Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date.”

Hope was quickly rising in your chest, your body suddenly feeling weightless. “You–you think so?” you asked him cautiously.

“Absolutely,” he answered, one hand coming up to readjust his dark glasses on his nose. “You’re a sweet, intelligent girl. And you’re funny as hell. Honestly, I was not expecting you to be as hilarious as you are.”

“Yeah?” you asked.

Beside you, you noticed the way Foggy’s wide eyes were darting back and forth between you and Matt like he was just waiting for the moment one of you admitted feelings or something. It felt like your stomach was filling with hundreds of anxious butterflies all flapping about inside of you as that hope only bloomed further in you.

“Oh, definitely,” Matt said with a nod. “You’re like a female Foggy. Which is high praise, because Foggy is the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.”

Instantly you deflated as if Matt had just punched you in the gut.

You’re like a female Foggy.

…the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.

Mouth dropping open, you sat there dumbfounded and hurt. Every ounce of hope that maybe you’d misread the situation–maybe he didn’t see you as just a friend–immediately dropped into your half finished bottle of beer and drowned. Your chest felt hollow as Matt’s smile briefly faltered before you.

Attention returning back towards Foggy on your left, you saw him shooting you that all-too-familiar sad smile again. You wanted to crawl under the table and cry at the sight of it.

“You’re both suddenly really quiet,” Matt pointed out, his tone a bit nervous. “Did I–I say something wrong?”

You couldn’t look at him, your gaze dropping yet again to the table before you. Tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to fight them back, clearing your throat as you blinked hard a few times.

“No,” you answered softly. “Thanks, Matt.”

“You–you sound upset,” he pointed out. “What’d I say wrong?”

“Dude,” Foggy began immediately, “you just told her she was best friend material when you were supposed to be giving her encouragement that she is more than that.”

“What? No,” Matt said quickly.

Your eyes caught sight of how fast his head turned in your direction out of your peripheral. That hollow feeling felt like it was only growing in your chest the longer you sat here. Maybe you should just call it a night and head back to your dorm before it swallowed you whole.

“That’s not what I meant,” Matt said earnestly.

He said your name, his hand reaching out and feeling along the table before it eventually landed on your wrist. Your eyes snapped shut, your jaw clenching at the contact of his skin on yours when his fingers encircled your wrist. It wasn’t helping.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to say you were just friend material,” he continued. “That’s not what I meant. It came out wrong.”

“It’s fine, Matt, I get it,” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

“No, hey, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot,” he said in a rush, his hand holding tighter to your wrist. “Please don’t get upset. I just meant you’re a really great person, one of the best I’ve ever met. I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

“Yeah, alright,” you said with a nod, desperate for him to just stop.

“How about this,” Matt said, his tone picking up to something brighter, “you bring me with to meet this guy, and I’ll be the best wingman ever."

You slipped your wrist out from Matt’s hold, no longer interested in sitting here and finishing your beer. Walking home in the cool evening and crying sounded vastly more appealing. Abruptly shoving your chair out, the legs of it making an irritating screech along the floor that was audible over the pop music playing, you slipped out of your seat.

“You heading back already?” Foggy asked, that knowing look on his face.

“Yeah, early class tomorrow,” you answered.

“Wait, hang on,” Matt said, pushing his own chair back as he turned in his seat towards you. “If you’re leaving because I upset you, I’m sorry.”

You sighed, pushing your chair back into the table so he wouldn’t end up tripping over it when he inevitably got up. “I’m leaving because I have an early class in the morning, Matt,” you deadpanned.

Your eyes caught the brief twitch of his eyebrows on his forehead as if he somehow knew you were lying. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off before he could try to apologize yet again. That, too, wasn’t helping.

“I’ll see you guys later,” you said quickly, shooting Foggy a wave as you took a step back.

“Dining hall for lunch tomorrow?” Fog asked hopefully.

“Sure,” you answered, shooting him a tight smile. Turning, you muttered under your breath, “If I even have an appetite by then.”

Weaving your way through the fairly busy bar, you eventually made it to the exit. You pushed the door open, stepping out into the chilly late spring evening. You felt a bit of the tension easing from your body already, the street noise of the city vastly preferable to you than being in Matt’s proximity right now. You couldn’t sit there any longer listening to him apologize to you for viewing you as only a best friend.

You were an idiot to have thought there was hope for something more between you both. Of course he was only saying nice things that a friend would say to another friend to make them feel better and build them up. It was the same thing he’d probably say to Foggy if he was interested in a girl. How stupid you were to think of it as anything else.

Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date.

You laughed bitterly at his comment, your arms hugging tight to your chest as you made the short trek back to campus and towards your dorm. Any guy except for Matt would be lucky to take you on a date, that’s basically what you gathered this evening. Matt was probably going to be hit on by that girl at the bar in a matter of minutes. You were positive he’d end up in either her dorm or his shortly afterwards. But you were not someone Matt would take on a date.

A frown twisted your mouth downwards, tears stinging at your eyes. You didn’t want to think about yet another conquest for Matt. It felt shitty that Matt would sleep with almost any girl on campus except for you. Not that that’s all you wanted from him–because you wanted vastly more than to just fuck him–but it made you feel like there was something wrong with you.

Why weren’t you good enough? What was so different about you that Matt didn’t want you like he did with those other girls?

A tear slipped down your cheek and you reached a hand up, wiping it away. Seconds later you heard your phone ringing in your pocket and your frown deepened. You reached down, pulling it out and looking at the caller ID. Matt’s name was on the screen. Your eyes closed as you came to a stop on the sidewalk. You didn’t want to talk to him, why the hell was he calling you?

For a minute you considered letting his call go to your voicemail and ignoring it. You could always just tell him later that you’d had it on silent and didn’t realize he’d called until the next morning. How would he know you were lying?

But you felt guilty at the thought of ignoring him just because he’d unintentionally hurt you. It’s not like Matt could control who he was or wasn’t attracted to. That wasn’t his fault. With a sigh you flipped the phone open, bringing it to your ear.

“Hey, Matt,” you answered, trying to keep the waver out of your voice.

He greeted you with your name, his voice sounding a little out of breath. You frowned.

“What’s going on? Something happen at the bar?” you asked, brows furrowing.

“No, not exactly,” he answered quickly. “Fog saw this girl he likes there. I think her name is Marci? Figured I’d leave him to it and check on you, actually. Which is why I called. How far from the bar did you get? I was trying to catch up.”

Biting your lip, you turned on the spot, stepping out of the way of a small group of college kids walking past you. A little ways back you could make out Matt’s form heading down the sidewalk towards you, his cane tapping away in one hand, his other hand holding his phone to his ear. Shoulders dropping, you realized you were going to have to walk back with him. Which was the last thing you’d been wanting to do right now.

“You didn’t need to leave on my account, Matt,” you told him.

“You seemed upset, I didn’t want you to walk back alone like that,” he replied. “So how far away did you get?”

Sighing, you began walking back the way you’d come. “I can see you, I’ll just turn back around and meet you in a minute,” you said.

Both of you exchanged goodbyes before you hung up, slipping your phone into your pant’s pocket before you once again uncomfortably wrapped your arms around your chest. It took you about a minute to reach Matt and you greeted him once you did, watching as his head darted in your direction. That damn charming smile slipped onto his face instantly and you hated the way it made you feel.

“Was hoping I’d manage to find you,” he greeted you back.

“Congrats,” you muttered. “I can walk you back to your dorm, if you want.”

“Well now that defeats the purpose of me walking you back to your dorm,” Matt countered cheekily.

You rolled your eyes, unable to fight the small smile snaking its way onto your lips. Reaching out, you placed Matt’s outstretched hand in the crook of your arm. His warm fingers curled around you, that hollow pit in your chest suddenly growing larger as you began to guide him back towards campus.

For a little bit neither of you spoke, your body tense as Matt held onto you while the pair of you walked back towards your dorms. His cane tapping along the pavement mixed with the noises of the city, the sound lingering heavily over the pair of you.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked, eventually breaking the silence.

His question caught you off guard, your lips pressing together as Columbia came into view. Once again, it’s not like you could be truthful with Matt. You couldn't tell him you had feelings for him–had them for months–and that him calling you a female Foggy had deeply hurt you. You’d only embarrass yourself and ruin your friendship with him.

“Yeah,” you answered.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his head turn swiftly in your direction. Your teeth ground together under the weight of his attention.

“Can you be honest with me this evening?” he asked.

“Who says I’m not?” you countered.

“Because I know you,” he answered immediately. “You sounded close to tears earlier before you left the bar. You’re not telling your usual jokes or laughing. You’ve been pretty quiet most of this evening, especially during this walk. You’re just giving brief responses when I know you love to talk.”

Your eyes remained fixed on the sidewalk before you as you led the pair of you down a different path, one that would bring you towards the residence halls. Internally you cursed Matt and his astute observations.

“Was it what I said at the bar?” he pried. “Because I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.”

“Can we please stop talking about that already?” you snapped.

Heat flooded your cheeks immediately after your outburst. You hadn’t meant to snap at him, but you were tired of hearing his apology. And you certainly didn’t need to hear him offer to be your wingman again.

“So it was what I said,” he replied.

His head turned, his attention once again on you as you both continued to walk. Your gaze remained fixed ahead of you, though.

“Why did that bother you so much?” he asked gently.

“Because I–” you stopped instantly, unsure of how to navigate this conversation without giving everything away. You sighed, shaking your head. “Because I’m always the friend,” you admitted weakly, tears stinging at your eyes again. “And I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Matt said earnestly. “Why would you even think that?”

You shook your head, glad when you saw your building coming into view. You were desperate for an excuse to get out of this conversation. Especially because you felt the threat of tears growing stronger.

"It doesn't matter, forget I said that," you replied.

Matt pulled you to a stop on the sidewalk instantly. Surprised, you turned towards him, beginning to blink back the tears threatening to spill forth.

"It does matter if it's got you this upset," he pushed. "I meant what I said earlier. Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date. And if whoever this guy is has got you feeling this down on yourself, he's probably an asshole."

You couldn't help the humorless laugh that fell out of you. Little did he know he'd just called himself an asshole and you couldn't help but see the humor in it. The sound of your laugh only caused Matt’s brows to furrow though, his fingers tightening their hold on your arm.

"What?" he asked. "Why is that funny?"

Because it's you, you idiot.

"It's not funny," you answered instead. "I just feel stupid."

He said your name softly, shaking his head. "Hey, you're not stupid" he assured you.

You couldn't stop the tears that fell, that ache in your chest only deepening with every nice word from his mouth that didn't mean what you desperately wanted it to. Matt's head tilted to the side at your silence, but the moment you couldn't fight back a choked sob, he was quickly pulling you in towards him.

One of his arms wrapped around your back, the other gently drawing your head towards his solid chest, cradling you carefully against him as his fingers lightly stroked their way through your hair. Your own hands easily wrapped around him, holding tight to him as you cried into his shirt. His hand along your back began rubbing a soothing pattern, managing it somehow even with the cane still held in his hand. His comforting presence only had you fisting his shirt tighter in your hands as you became overwhelmed with your emotions, crying harder when you felt him rest his chin along the top of your head. Somehow his hands held you even closer to himself.

You'd often imagined what it would feel like to be in Matt's embrace so many times before; what it would feel like to be in his arms, breathing in that warm, familiar scent of him. But you’d never pictured it like this. Never because you were crying over not being able to be with him while he unknowingly comforted you for it.

"Maybe he's not the right guy," Matt whispered. "If he can't see how great you are, maybe he's not the one worth feeling like this about."

"He's not an asshole though," you choked out, voice muffled against his chest. "That's the thing."

"You'll find someone," he assured you. "Someone who will see every wonderful thing about you. Someone who won't make you feel like this about yourself."

"He usually doesn't," you muttered.

"Usually doesn't what?" he asked softly.

"Make me feel like this," you said, turning to rest your cheek against his chest. "Usually he makes me feel good. Happy." Your fingers tightened their hold around his shirt as you sniffled. "Special. But–but he doesn't know how I feel and I am positive he doesn't feel that way in return. And that's what hurts."

"How do you know if you don't tell him?" Matt asked.

Matt’s words at the bar ran through your mind again and your eyes snapped shut.

You’re like a female Foggy.

…the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.

"Believe me, I know," you answered stiffly.

Forcing yourself to release your hold on Matt, you stepped back as he untangled his hold on you in return. You wrapped your arms uncomfortably around yourself yet again, your attention on your feet.

"Sorry, this was stupid," you mumbled. "I can finish walking to my dorm myself, Matt. But thanks for uh, trying to help."

He took a step towards you, concern clearly written on his face. "I can walk you the rest of the way. It's not–"

"I want to be alone," you told him firmly.

He stared at you in silence for a moment before he finally nodded. "Okay," he replied. "I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"

You sighed heavily, eventually nodding. Because you knew you were too weak to give Matt up. You knew that despite how much it hurt to see him with other women all the time, the thought of him permanently missing from your life hurt worse.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, Matty," you whispered.

Turning, you made your way down the path towards your hall, tears still silently streaming down your cheeks. You ignored the stares of passing students, wiping away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand as you walked.

These feelings would eventually fade. They had to.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock series #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock

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writingwithcolor · 1 year ago

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Would it be problematic for me to have a black girl convert to sikhi over the course of the story with the assistance of her Sikh friend & the friend’s family and then get married to said friend in the future? I don’t want it to seem like she did it simply to be with her friend so I thought that maybe if I showed how she enjoys hearing things about the religion (for example how sikhi emphasizes treating everyone equally and also the protection of those facing injustice) from her friend that it could seem more natural but could that be seen as fetishizing? The black girl has been friends with the family for 10+ years (aka since she was 8) and also wasn’t raised following any religion (but not as an atheist either) so I feel the conversion would be somewhat easy for her but if any of what I’ve wrote is problematic I’ll change it! I’m still doing research so if I messed anything up I’m extremely sorry. Thank you in advance!

Black woman converts to become Sikh - Is this problematic?

If SK thinks these circumstances are okay from the Sikhism standpoint, then absolutely it is fine. Black people are all individual and different people throughout the diaspora. We are not some collective monolith with a build-in set of interests, beliefs and rules on what we can and cannot do! The real question to me is if someone can convert to Sikhism and if so, how being Black factors into the lifestyle.

On that note, I will hand the mic to SK and also welcome Black Sikh followers to chime in.

-Colette

Sikhi accept converts

Short answer: No, it is not problematic. Sikhi accepts converts. There’s nothing wrong with being drawn to a faith because of certain aspects and then looking deeper and choosing to convert.

Longer answer: Conversion into a completely new faith is rarely easy. I would say Sikhi is a harder faith to convert to because there are few resources in other languages and many Sikhs are unaccustomed to converts. As in most, if not all, religions, there is a gap between what is said and how it’s practiced.

Despite the messages about fighting injustice and treating others equally, many Sikh converts, especially Black Sikhs, deal with prejudice. This is not even unique to converts - Afghan & Kashmiri Sikhs have also faced ignorant comments from Punjabi Sikhs who aren’t aware of Sikh communities outside Punjab. The 1980’s-1990’s Sikh genocide disconnected many Sikhs in Punjab from the revolutionary messages of justice and equality laid out in Sikh holy texts.

A challenge unique to Black Sikhs is that the way kesdhari Sikhs take care of their hair and tie it in turbans can be a challenge for someone with Black hair. I would recommend Gurpreet Kaur’s writing.

Resources

Being Black & Sikh

Articles by Gurpreet Kaur

I would also suggest checking out The Black Sikh Collective on Tumblr, Instagram & Facebook for more perspectives of Black Sikhs.

-SK If this answer was helpful, SK accepts tips here: https://ko-fi.com/skaur | Venmo & Cashapp: skaur1699

#Sikhism #Religion #convert #Black #Black hair #asks #genocide tw #Sikhism history

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staygoldenx0 · 3 months ago

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happy new year 🐆

#punjabi #me myself and i #ways of life #indian #makeup lover #makeupartist #mua #i love me so much #positivity #happy new year #new year #glam makeup #makeup girl

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egosdelirium · 2 months ago

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Thinking so many thoughts about...... James and Remus both being Spiderman in their own universes and somehow meeting when a portal opens a passage between them.

- Earth 48915

Remus is eighteen. Your local nerd, the loner with his nose always stuck in a book, the weird kid who's never really made any friends in school or at church. The one who never attempts to talk to girls. Dirt poor, has recently moved to London with Hope after Lyall suddenly passed away in a car accident (Remus was driving the car). Him and his mum left Wales and their little village behind to go live with Hope's brother, Ben, to try and give their lives a new meaning and get Remus a better education while they're at it. He gets into this private posh Secondary thanks to his uncle's contacts and his outstanding academic records.

There, he meets Sirius Black: the fittest, richest, smartest, most successful boy of the entire school who exclusively hangs out with future runaway model, Mary Mcdonald, and his little brother, Regulus. In addition to his all-rounded perfection, Sirius also belongs to the family funded Black Industries, a multi-million pharmaceutical corporation that is well known for its advanced discoveries and unorthodox research methods.

Remus avoids Sirius (and everybody else) to the best of his capabilities until he gets paired up with him for the end of the first trimester science project. Sirius loathes science, chemistry, and everything that has anything to do with molecules or atoms. He still gets top marks in it, but his real forte his maths: arithmetic, trigonometry, calculus. Sirius's brain is like a computer wired to solve equations. Remus, on the other hand, is 100% the science nerd Orion Black wishes his son was. In the end, their project turns out to be so good that they get paired together for the rest of the year, and Remus keeps falling more and more head over heels in love with his new lab partner and is very pathetic about it.

They start hanging out outside of school too, after Remus catches Sirius crying in the bathrooms one afternoon during footie practice and Sirius breaks down to him about how horribly abusive his parents are to him and Regulus. One night, Sirius has the great idea to sneak into his father's private lab with Remus (who's now become a regular in Sirius' bedroom) to employ his scientific knowledge to understand some top secret project Orion has been very elusive about, and there Remus gets bitten by a modified specimen of Wolf-spider that Sirius mistakenly frees from its box.

Spiderman shenanigans ensue (but Remus' chronic joint pain gets cured, so he's not complaining all that much)

- Earth 48916

James is a high school senior in a prestigious private school in upstate New York. He lives in Brooklyn with his british/punjabi mother and puerto rican father. He's the 'five different vacation houses in five different states' type of rich boy. Straight A's and B's, captain of the soccer team with a fullride scholarship to Columbia University, every girl's and boy's dream boyfriend.

Everyone's but Lily Evan's, no one other than his main academic rival and the girl he's been desperately in (unrequited) love with since ninth grade. She's top of half their classes (mainly the ones James can't be bothered trying to excel at), future valedictorian, exceptionally hardworking and particularly gifted in 'all things science'. She also allegedly hates his guts.

James mainly hangs out his two childhood best friends: Marlene, star player of the female's soccer and basketball team, and Peter, their very own regional chess prodigy. When James is not with them, he's usually surrounded by the guys from his soccer team or the ladies from the 'Crocheting for Charity' club he attends on weekends. He never really dates anybody else, albeit being asked out almost daily, because his mom taught him that perseverance is the only way to truly show the authenticity of one's desires.

James gets bitten on a saturday night, when he overhears Lily Evans argue with Severus Snape, her ex best friend turned new nazi schizo, as he was heading out after his crochet meet-up. The two are fighting about something in the school's science lab and Severus keeps trying to get Lily to look at a small box he's placed on the table, but they just end up screaming at each other and Lily storms out of the room. In his hurry to chase after her, Severus mistakenly hits the box and drops it to the floor. James, who had hidden just behind the corner, enters the lab to check for himself what the whole argument is about, and the genetically modified Golden Silk Orb-Spider that once was in the box bites him.

Spiderman shenanigans ensue. James is thrilled, Marlene is too, Peter not so much.

And Lily is too curious, and way too good at science and genetics to not get roped up into the whole mess, unfortunately for her.

#marauders #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #regulus black #black brothers #jily #wolfstar #spiderman au #i fucking love spiderman #this whole thing was born out the firm conviction that both james and remus are variants of peter parker #in two very different ways tho #i need to geek out to them more DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE COLOR OF THEIR COSTUMES?#marauder's spiderman au

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