#Pseudo-chinese

[feyburner]

I fucking hate DC lol. His race is Villain

[cryptidbait]

Pseudo Subscorp Week 2024

Day 2: Baby

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

shitty semi-Chinese food from my local health-code-violating Chinese buffet my beloved

[fragmentedblade]

I've actually found a coherent (negative) criticism on Jingli.u's quest!! Wow!! It's in Chinese on weibo

This user said her behaviour is very double standard. That she criticises and condemns both Dan Fen.g and Yingx.ing severely for trying to bring back Bai.heng in any way, but then she goes to visit Bail.u and tells her that seeing her is better than any medicine. And the user is right! That's exactly why they did what they did (well, I've always been of the opinion that Dan Fen.g had more reasons going on based on the in game information), so why the insistent asking to Blade?

The user also says that Jingliu doesn't really behave at all like a friend, that while very believable that she loved and was close to Bai.heng, it's hard to believe the same thing when it comes to Yingxi.ng and Dan Fen.g. They said that nowadays we still see instances through the Xianzhou in which they are both spoken about in positive terms, that Yingxi.ng is talked about as a legendary furnace master, and we can even stumble upon good opinions on Dan Fen.g, but that Jingli.u never shows that kind of understanding for people in theory she loved, knew personally and was close to.

I don't agree entirely with this, I do think there was a lot of fondness from Jingliu shining through despite everything (especially towards Yin.gxing, in my opinion), but I do think it's a somewhat fair criticism. I loved how they mention that despite everything the Xianzhou's view on Yingxin.g and Dan Fen.g isn't just negative. They're right, and it's a detail I love.

[stellar-secrecy]

shen needs to stop working so hard

[wilbertgg]

The twin pseudo legendaries of South Kalos, and the last non-legendaries of the leak. However I want to do some crossgens before i start the collage, one came to me in a dream one night... || The Ryunagi Line || The Takyomi Line || Make sure to check these links out before you go! Please...?

-Twitter-

-Tumblr-

-DeviantArt-

-Newgrounds-

-FurAffinity-

[miss-floral-thief]

Can scrape off mayo at least it’s not as strong as western kind but I

Can add real

Butter to it and soy sauce and sliced cucumbers

[kelaeri]

The Many Languages of Dick Grayson

Apparently, according to Nightwing #54, he can speak 12, so I went on a little quest to see just how many I could identify.

Starting off with The Essential Batman Encyclopedia, the entry for Dick Grayson lists him as being trained in French, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, Mandarin, and Cantonese with having some proficiency in an unknown Romani dialect. Given there are multiple examples of him speaking these languages throughout the comics, I am inclined to trust this claim. To start, we've got several examples of French (Gotham Knights #14, Detective Comics Annual #12, Nightwing #73, Grayson #10-- also featuring Spanish)

In Grayson #1 he speaks Russian only briefly, but in Detective Comics #36 he speaks it throughout.

As far as the Chinese languages go, while I believe Dick can speak Mandarin and/or Cantonese fairly well (Batman/Superman World's Finest #3), his Hanzi recognition and literacy could use some work.

Similarly, when the Titans head off to Japan in Titans Annual #1, we have Nightwing speaking Japanese in battle; however, when it comes to the prospective job of being a manga translator in Nightwing #125, he claims he doesn't know Japanese, which leads me to believe he is only proficient in speaking Japanese/Chinese and struggles with the writing systems.

So what about the languages not covered in the encyclopedia? To start, we have another romance language: Italian (Nightwing #72).

Followed by some alleged German (Nightwing #51, JLA #44)

And conversations in Farsi (Robin #175)

While I've seen some Tumblr and Reddit posts claim he knows Kikuyu, The Power Company: Manhunter #1 only says he "brushed up" on his Kikuyu before going to Kenya, so it is unknown how much of the language he actually speaks, but to me it doesn't seem likely to be a lot.

He also, to some unknown degree, speaks Tamaranean-- at least enough to hack into an alien computer (Action Comics #842).

As far as unspoken languages go, Dick is fluent in ASL, which is proven numerous times when he communicates with Jericho (New Teen Titans 1984).

And lastly, the two languages that remain rather uncertain are Romani and Cant-- largely due to the nature of the languages themselves and their representation in comics. "Romani," for instance, has several different dialects, and when Devin Grayson introduced it for Dick (Gotham Knights #20-21, Nightwing #91), she never specified which, and based on the lines she wrote, her research into the language was questionable at best. Writers since have recognized Dick's Romani heritage, but have not otherwise suggested he retained much of the language to be considered fluent.

Cant is an even wider term than Romani and can be seen as more of jargon for a particular language than a language itself, sometimes even being called a "pseudo-language." The colloquial term for American circus cant is Carny, or "Carny speak" as Boston Brand puts it in Batman: The Brave and the Bold #14 when he and Nightwing encounter a kid who speaks it.

So... this leaves us with 11 languages Dick has notable proficiency in: English, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, German, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, Farsi, and ASL. And ~3 languages he has unknown proficiency in: Tamaranean, Kikuyu, Romani, and Carny/Cant (if you want to count it).

Maybe memory-loss Dick was including either Tamaranean or Kikuyu in that count from Nightwing #54, or maybe he knows some other language we haven't seen yet. Given how close the family is to the Al Ghuls, I personally think it would be cool if one of them was Arabic.

But anyway, hope you enjoyed this post! A lot I've seen covering this topic are very surface-level and label some of his more iffy languages as "fluent," so I hope this cleared things up. I've read tons of Nightwing, and I swear there are more examples, but sifting through the 1,000+ comics I've read of him is a lot haha. If y'all know of some others, let me know!

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read

1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima

notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship

If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair masc” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.

And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.

Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:

Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???

And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.

2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu

Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting but it’s NOT because of the Chinese government💀

So today’s dark haired masc and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.

However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:

Like go girl give us nothing

If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔

Edit: I received new information in regards to what happened to Tamen De Gushi. While I reached my limit for posting pictures, I want to point out that the Chinese government had nothing to do with Tamen De Gushi getting censored, rather it was a dispute between the author and the publishing company. The prior information I received was false and I prob should’ve looked it up more so sorrrry. The fact still remains though that after their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story and maybe a few other moments, that’s just kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.

Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :

3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji

my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read

So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.

Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns masc. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.

At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.

Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.

Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.

Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:

There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”

The art says:

And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭

Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.

4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

Well, at least there are no blondes

So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw

Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.

When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:

Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.

And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:

Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.

Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.

Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.

5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic

This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀

So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!

I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!

Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:

(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)

This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.

And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:

no thoughts, head empty

Final Thoughts

Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.

[tanuki-kimono]

Cw: We are going to talk here about periods, and sex education in the past. Read this note according to your own sensibilities :)

How women dealt with periods during Edo period, article by shunga enthousiast Shungirl who made a paper pad following instructions found in makura bunko 枕文庫 - ie ancient sex books illustrated with erotic ukiyoe.

One of such makura bunko is 渓斎英泉 Keisai Eisen's 閨中紀聞-枕文庫, first published in 1822. It details Chinese remedies recipes for menstrual pains and irregularities, give tips about sex, and information about menstruations and pregnancy. From a modern point of view, some beliefs are outdated, but it was then such a bestseller it went through several reeditions.

Several words were apparently in use during Edo era to designates menstrual period: keisui 経水, gekkei 月経, tsukiyaku 月水, etc.

When girls went throught their first period, their females relatives or nannies would taught them how to deal with them. One method was to use paper as sanitary products (please note people without easy access to paper probably dealt with periods differently).

__________ 御馬 paper pads

Sanitary pads, such as the one recreated above by Shungirl, were then called mima 御馬 (probably as a pun on true "mima" which were then fine horses own by noblemen, or attached to sanctuaries as mounts for gods etc) or simply ouma お馬 ("honorable" horse).

Ouma were made from inexpensive recycled paper called Asakusagami 浅草紙. Sheets were folded 8 times, tied with twisted paper strings (koyori 紙縒), and then wrapped with another layer of folded paper. It was secured once again with paper strings.

Part of the strings could be left long so to tie around the waist, or/and pad was hold into place by wearing fundoshi 褌 loincloth (which would also help prevent leaking on inner tights).

Asakusagami quality was low (it was also used as toilet paper) so paper pads had to be changed often, meaning you had to fold quite a lot of them to go through your period!

Shungirl folded the pad above following instructions found in the book 実娯教絵抄, which provided several other "models":

__________ 詰め紙 paper tampons

Another method for dealing with periods were tampon-like paper bundles which were inserted into the vagina, the 詰め紙 (tsumeshi? I am not sure of the reading).

This method may have first appeared in red-light districts (?). Beside its use for periods, prostitutes also used those tampons as method of contraception (OP has an interesting article on this subject).

By the end of Edo period and into Meiji, paper tampons were widely used even by women who were not prostitutes - despite voices branding this method as unsanitary.

__________ About girls' coming of age rites

Menarche (first period) was an important milestone for girls, and was celebrated as such via specific rites (shochō o iwau 初潮を祝). Those differed a lot from places to places, and also depended on social status.

Celebrations would concern close family, but often spread to wider community who could received for example a festive meal (sekihan 赤飯) for the occasion (some Edo era senryû poems stress how mortifying this publicity could be!).

Interestingly, some traditions were also pretty sweet: in some places, mothers would sew 3 stiches into their daughter's underskirt (koshimaki 腰巻き) as a good luck charm, hoping their periods would last only 3 days <3

Those rites were part of coming of age traditions (seijoshiki 成女式) which marked the start of a young woman adulthood. Another example is the blackening of teeth (ohaguro お歯黒) which usually started around 16-17 years old.

Celebrating menarche publicly was a way of advertising that the girl was no longer a child and would "soon" be a bride. Yet, if menarche often took place around 13-14 years old, in reality it was somehow unusual to have girls married so soon!

Before marriage, especially in non-noble/samurai families, young women often started their sexual life via flings or yobai 夜這い ("night crawling" ie pseudo-secret nighttime encounters) before any wedding actually took place.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Mentioned in a Post a while back about a Jttw/LMK AU I had regarding the "Yellow Robed Demon" Arc when Tripitaka got turned into a tiger.

Book Summary;

Tripitaka manages to escape his capture (for once) and passes on a message to the King of Baoxiang from his daughter, Baihuaxiu, explaining that she was kidnapped and made the forced bride of a demon (ironically making it a magical version of what befell Tripitaka's mother when he was a baby).

Kui Mulang rolls in with a human glamour and goes: "Nu-Uh! I'm but a humble human hunter. THIS guy is a tiger demon who attacked a girl some time ago. I save her and we've been living a simple life for the last 13 years!" (Lie)

So the dude pulls an Uno-Reverse and transforms Tripitaka into a tiger (or in some versions, glamours him into one). The King and his subjects believe this 100% since Tripitaka and the Pilgrims don't look so great without Wukong there to act as PR (he was exiled at the time for the White Bone Spirit incident).

Tripitaka is apparently aching-beautiful no matter his form though;

Wukong even feels kinda bad for his Master, since the transformation is so good that he can't even see through it with Gold Vision. Also imagine a sad giant kitty, that would bum anyone out.

Of course things are resolved by the end of the arc; the gang reunite with their monkey, Ao Lie gets his own badass chapter, the Princess is saved, Bajie kills the couple's two half-demon wolf children, the Yellow Robed Demon is revealed to be Revatī - the Wood Wolf of Legs after Wukong catches the demon commenting on his performance during the Havoc (Wukong has a few Columbo moments in the book like this), and Tripitaka is transformed back into his squishy monk self.

Bonus - Tripitaka as a tiger from a book illustration + the 1999 cartoon.

The book illustration + description suggests he's a rare Pseudo-melanistic "Black Tiger" seen in India, possibly an Indo-Chinese Tiger, or a South China Tiger with a darker back.

So here's where the timeline shifts...

The Wood Wolf of Legs ain't happy to be dragged away from (what he believed to be mutual) his true love on earth + his two kids, so he curses the Tang Monk to not only retain part of the glamour he imposed upon him, but to transform him fully into a carnivorous feline demon. Also as an extra "F-k you!" to the Jade Court he and his past love fled from, since the Queen Mother is a celestial tigress herself.

The Pilgrims freak out, obviously.

Guanyin is called up and is like;

Guanyin: "Well, you did unjustly punish and exile your best bodyguard because you didn't trust his judgement, seeing him only as a murderous beast... so *your* punishment is to deal with the rest of your Journey as one of the very same creatures you see as mindlessly bloodthirsty." Tripitaka, now cursed to stay a catboy: "Dang it." (≽^╥⩊╥^≼)

He still gets to wear the robes and walk upright -think Master Tigress from Kung Fu Panda but as a wimpy, twink-shaped, monk.

Tripitaka aint' having fun. He's a life-long vegetarian who's suddenly an apex hypercarnivore. He tries his best for the longest time to stay on the veggies (and durian weirdly enough since tigers like those), but eventually he will need to chow down on some bleeding protein.

And his team literally consists of the main diet of a tiger...

Wukong, a monkey: "Master isn't looking too good." Zhu Bajie, a pig: "I don't like the way he's been looking at us. I burnt my finger making the campfire and he looked ready to pounce!" Sha Wujing, a fish: "I'm not surprised. Cats are of few beasts that absolutely require meat protein to survive." Ao Lie, currently a horse: "If he goes feral, I vote we sacrifice the pig first." Wujing & Wukong: "Agreed." Zhu Bajie: "HEY!!" (₍•̀ ⚇•́ ₎) Tripitaka, meditating hard: "Perhaps if I eat a watermelon, it would sustain my desire for flesh?"

What worse?

Tripitaka is still considered smoking hot. Now by demon standards too!

The Trio of Lion Camel Ridge prepare to attack the Pilgrims when;

Azure Lion: (*sees that the Great Monk is actually a beautiful tiger.*) Azure Lion, lowering his sword: "Guys, do not mess this up for me." Peng & Yellow Tusk: (*annoyed groans!*)

[writers-potion]

My Favorite Fantasy Tropes

MONSTER TROPES!

A deadly monster with a terrifying appearance bonds with a small child with its life.

An injured hero comes upon a monster, or a hero comes upon an injured monster and they understand each other. Giant vicious-looking monsters that answer to names you would give to a pet dog.

A character rescues or spares the life of a wounded or infant monster; later th fully- healed/matured creature returns the favor.

The horrifying eldritch creature that's been stalking the heroes turns out to be benevolent and actually, trying to protect them from something deadlier.

HERO TROPES!

The hero is the secret heir to a throne. It may be that he was whisked away and hidden as a child, his parents sent them away or were killed, etc.

There's someone in power in your book who might be described as "pure evil." This can feed into the "Good vs Evil" trope listed further down this list.

The hero refuses to give into the dark magic and instead ascends to a new level of power. This may change their hair to their dream color.

The hero falls in love with a princess/prince who turns out to be working with the real Dark Lord and killed her whole family just to rule the kingdom.

SETTING TROPES!

Pseudo-medieval European setting especially in places like the British Isles, France and Germany.

A library full of secret, lost, important knowledge. The characters may have to travel to this library, or they may stumble across it for some kind of revelation.

Ancient Japan/Chinese royalty setting where clues about the mystery is given out in subtle, secretive ways. Plus, the hero can't travel outside the palace.

A fantastical world can hide in plain sight without being discovered. When the secret is unmasked by the hero, he is trust into the world. Now, there's no going back.

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIP TROPES!

The characters involved don't know they're soulmates for part of the book but feel drawn to each other.

Twisting the original dynamic between characters from legends, myths and folklore

Semi-humanoid/ multi-race characters bonding with monsters/people of other race like elves, dwarves, goblins, etc.

Enemies-to-lovers

Marriages of convenience based upon political/power dynamic leverage

The main character(s), with a ton of romantic tension, must, for some reason, share a bed.

DARK FANTASY TROPES!

Magic is eveil and often The Corruption. Blood magic, human sacrifice and forsaken children are commonplace.

Magical artifacts with bad omens/curses attached to them. They require a grievous price in order to wield.

The gods are all assholes who pass time eating prayer chips and drinking soul-booze while placing bets and trolling the helpless mortals.

Organized religion of the country is Corrupt Church or Religion of Evil. The leader is totalitarian and strange cults prevail.

The dead find staying buried a little boring and resist any and all attempts to keep them buried, short of cremation or dismemberment.

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

[scoonsalicious]

Unsatisfied, Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: After game night, Bucky promised to ruin you come morning. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, Explicit Sexual Content: Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here (FaceTime sex, hand stuff), Pocket still not being over her trauma, mentions of past injury.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: Hi, besties!

It's me, ya gurl, with Part 2 of the post-Unwanted one-shot that's become a three-shot, lol! I fucking missed the absolute hell out of these two, and I'm so happy to be back with them for a little bit. Writing for Pocket and her Bucky is just like... I don't know. It's like I'm not even making stuff up, just channeling it, because it comes so easily, unlike literally everything else I try to write. I can't say when I'm going to resume WFLT. To be perfectly candid, I might put it on extended hiatus while I work on other things that seem to come easier right now. I don't know yet. I just want to be up front with everyone.

Here's where my attentions are currently focused: Finishing Unsatisfied, an untitled collab with @mrsbuckybarnes1917, writing Hunted, and plotting Unbroken. For some reason, there is just a giant Gandalf standing between me and WFLT, waving his staff and shouting "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" I'll let you know when I whip him into the abyss. And yes, that does make me the Balrog in this scenario, and I, too, fall to my death in the depths of Moria. It's an imperfect analogy, okay? At least I'm not Sean Bean, dying all over the place.

Anyway, enjoy more Pocket and Bucky! I know I do! xoxo

“I miss you,” you moaned into the screen of your phone. Your voice sounded pitiful, even to your own ears, but you were lonely and you didn’t have the shame to hide it. Especially not from the man you were talking to.

“I miss you, too, sweets,” Bucky said with a dejected sigh that let you know your feelings of misery were mutual. “It shouldn’t be longer than a few more days, then I’ll come back home to ya, and we can pick up where we left off, yeah?”

You smiled and nodded eagerly, his promise setting your skin awash in goosebumps. ‘Where you’d left off’ had been finally, finally, coming back together after nearly twelve months of self-imposed celibacy, spending the first night together, in your new apartment, wrapped in each other’s arms, with his co—

“At least we got our bubble bath before things went fully to shit,” Bucky added, a smile playing on his lips from across the distance, as though he knew exactly where your thoughts had taken you.

“Yeah,” you sighed, remembering the feel of him, so warm and solid, against your back in the tub. After he’d kicked out your friends from the impromptu game night they’d decided to throw at your new place, and you’d gotten over your freakout when Sam had inadvertently joked about Bucky ‘cheating’ at a card game, the two of you had spent a much needed evening just in each other’s company. Intimacy, but not sex, the way your therapist had recommended, with Bucky promising to ruin you come daybreak. 

Instead, though, a call had come from Fury in the middle of the night. A group of terrorists, counting some several enhanced among them, had stolen a biological weapon and were threatening to decimate the population of Shanghai unless the Chinese government gave into their demands, and so, The Avengers, Bucky included, had been called away.

You’d offered to go, just so you could stay close to him. You’d never even leave the Quinjet, you’d promised, out of the action, but neither Bucky nor Tony was eager to see you back on the field, not after what had happened the last time. Even though you’d had your last reconstructive surgery months ago, and your doctors had given you the all clear, between your boyfriend and your pseudo-brother, you weren’t leaving New York anytime soon.

That had been over a week ago. Negotiations with the terrorists had not gone according to plan, and they were probably going to have to fight it out. And as for you? You were ready to climb the fucking walls.

“How’s wedding stuff going?” Bucky asked, referring to your role as Maid of Honor in Pepper and Tony’s upcoming nuptials. “Keeping you busy?”

“Don’t you dare try to change the subject, Barnes,” you practically growled at him. “I am so fucking desperate for your cock, I swear to god–”

From somewhere off camera, you could hear a cacophony of sound– a combination of Sam and Clint’s uproarious laughter and Tony shouting “JESUS CHRIST BARNES, USE YOUR FUCKING HEADPHONES!”

Bucky’s face had turned crimson in the video call, and you couldn’t suppress the laugh that came bubbling from you as he abruptly stood up and removed himself into a darker, quieter area.

“Shit,” he exhaled as he got himself re-situated in the new, hopefully more private, space. He ran a hand down his face in embarrassment. “Didn’t mean for them to hear all that, doll.”

You laughed as you twisted a strand of hair around your finger in the way you knew he liked. “What happened to your earbuds, baby?” you teased. 

Bucky reached up and pulled an airpod from his ear, looking at the small device as though it had personally offended him. “I thought they were on!” he exclaimed. “If I’d known I’d been broadcasting you for the whole fucking team to hear, I woulda gone somewhere a lot more private to begin with.”

“The whole team?” you asked, cautiously. You didn’t want to say any names, but you needed to know if he was there, too. If he’d heard you.

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, catching your meaning and lowering his voice. “Rogers is here.”

You swallowed and nodded solemnly. You hadn’t spoken to Steve Rogers since he’d made his horrible confession to you in the hospital, of the ways he’d manipulated your life to keep you and Bucky apart. All culminating in Bucky’s betrayal, your temporary death, the loss of your unborn baby. 

“Are you alright?” you asked, thinking only of Bucky in the moment. It was easy for you to stay away from Steve, to ignore him– your anger toward him had far surpassed any level of fondness you’d once had for Captain America, but you knew how much harder it was for Bucky to break a bond of nearly a century. Not that you would have ever forbidden him from reconnecting with Steve, if that was what he had wanted. No, Bucky had decided on his own that some things couldn’t be forgiven. No matter how many decades of friendship might lie behind them.

“Yeah,” he sighed, though you could tell from the look in his eyes that it was harder for him than he was letting on. “It’s awkward, but if we keep it strictly to business, it’s manageable. It’s just…” He rubbed the back of his neck, and you wished so badly that you could be there to smooth the lines from his distraught face. “It’s just… sometimes he makes it hard to remember what he did.”

You nodded, feeling guilty that you were the reason the two were no longer friends. That Steve had betrayed Bucky because of his desire for you. 

“Don’t go blaming yourself, sweets,” Bucky chastised you knowingly. It was like he could read your mind. You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off with a look. “I know how that pretty head works, doll, and I know you’re blaming yourself. Stop it. He made his own bed, now he gets to lie in it.”

“I know,” you lamented. “I just hate that you have to pay the emotional cost of his bad decisions, that’s all.”

Bucky frowned at you. “Just like I hate how you had to pay the costs for mine, doll,” he said softly. “Our actions have consequences. We have to live with them, so we don’t make the same fuck ups again.”

You subconsciously let your hand drift to your abdomen, your fingers delicately tracing over the scar that was the only external reminder that you’d been shot. Had technically been killed. Had lost a lot more than your life. You were grateful Bucky could only see you from the chest up.

“Well, this conversation took a turn,” you said, trying to get off of subjects you’d rather not dwell on. “Can we go back to talking about how fucking horny I am for you?”

Bucky barked out a laugh and god, how it warmed your heart that you could still get that reaction out of him after everything you’d both gone through. His blue eyes seemed to darken as he adjusted himself in whatever seat he was in. “If it helps, I’m horny as hell for you, too, sweetheart.”

“Oh yeah?” you asked, tugging on your bottom lip with your teeth as he nodded his head. “Yeah, hearing that does help. Show me.”

Bucky’s eyes widened through the screen. “Show you?” he breathed, clearly not having anticipated where you were about to take the conversation. “What do you mean, ‘show you’, doll?”

“I mean,” you said, leaning back against the headboard to make yourself more comfortable, “show me that pretty cock of yours, Sergeant. Take it out. Stroke it for me. I wanna see what I’ve been missing.”

You watched as Bucky’s eyes went back and forth between the phone screen and the door that separated him from the rest of the team. You could tell from the way he was gnawing at his bottom lip that he was seriously debating it, but that he had some real reservations. “Doll,” he whispered, sounding scandalized, but excited, “they’re right outside. They’ll hear me.”

You smirked at the way he’d suddenly become shy. “I wanna hear you, Sarge,” you pleaded in a breathy whisper, and from the way he closed his eyes and moaned at your words, you knew he was so close to giving you what you wanted. “Come on, baby,” you cooed. “Can’t you show Pocket that pretty pink cock she’s been wanting so badly? Can’t I watch you choke it with your big hands while I imagine my mouth wrapped around it? Pozhaluysta, Soldat?”

“Fuck,” he muttered, and you knew you’d won when he hopped up from where he’d been sitting. Though you couldn’t see it from the way he was letting the phone dangle, you could hear him lock the door. “You know I can’t resist it when you speak Russian, doll,” he said as he sat back down, propping the phone and its camera up against something so that you could see his entire body stretched out before you. 

“YA rasschityval na eto, detka,” you said with a grin. I was counting on it, baby. You could see now that he was in a bedroom of what looked like a standard SHIELD safehouse. It was small– only one twin-sized bed, so you weren’t worried about anyone else barging in to need the space. 

“So, how do we do this?” he asked, and you could hear the nervousness mixed with excitement in his voice. It struck you that, throughout your relationship, and all the time you’d spent apart while one or the other was away on missions, the two of you had actually never done this before. Phone sex, yeah, but never on video, together. It was going to be new territory, and it thrilled you. 

“We?” you asked playfully, pretending you had no idea what he was talking about. 

Bucky looked at you sternly though the screen of your phone and you involuntarily shivered under his gaze. “Don’t think for a second I’m not going to see that sweet, dripping cunt of yours tonight, doll. I’ve been fantasizing about it for ages. Got just a taste of it the other day, and it wasn’t nearly enough.”

Fuck, you could feel yourself dampen and your nipples harden just from his words alone, not to mention the memory of the brief moment on your terrace, before the movers had arrived, when he’d had his deliciously thick fingers pressed inside of you.

“Baby,” you moaned, not even realizing you were trailing your fingertips over the pebbled flesh of your breasts under your shirt, imagining his rough, calloused hands on you. 

“Take off your clothes, Pocket,” Bucky growled. He didn’t ask; it wasn’t a request. It was a command, and you were ready to obey. 

“Sir, yes sir, Sergeant,” you said, and you were sure you looked anything but graceful as you sped to pull your top over your head and shimmy out of the pair of cheeky panties you wore. The cool breeze of the air conditioning danced along your flushed skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Fuck,” Bucky groaned, his eyes following the path your fingers traced along the contours of your body. You watched hungrily as he absentmindedly palmed himself through the Tac pants he still frustratingly donned. “God, you look even better‘n I remember, sweets,” he grunted. “Better than I’ve been imaginin’ all week. How the fuck’s that even possible?”

“Buck,” you warned, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment at his obviously false praise as you turned to hide your face from his gaze. “Stop. I know you don’t mean that.”

Frowning, Bucky leaned forward, picking up the phone so he could bring his face close to the camera, scrutinizing you. “Pocket,” he said, but you refused to look at him. “Pocket!” he tried again, his voice a little firmer, but still gentle. “Why the fuck would I not mean that, sweetheart? You’re gorgeous.”

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. It was kind of him to lie to spare your feelings, really, but you didn’t think you could take it. Not from him. Not after everything. Without thought, your hand moved to cover your bullet wound from his gaze. “Come on, Buck,” you said, your tone implying that you weren’t buying his bullshit, no matter how sweetly he was selling it, “we both know you weren’t imagining me with all these new scars.”

“Baby.” Bucky made a noise somewhere between a choked laugh and an incredulous groan. “You can’t seriously think I, of all fucking people, give a shit about a couple of tiny scars?” He put the phone down, and your view of him was obstructed for a moment while you heard the rustle of cloth. When he lifted it up again, you saw he had taken off his vest and Tac shirt. He pointed to the ruined skin of his left shoulder.

“Look at these and tell me you think I’m gonna be turned off by a coupla’ scars, Pocket,” he said, and you could detect the hard edge to his voice. 

“It’s different, Buck,” you told him, your voice cracking. “You already had those scars when we met; they were a part of the man I fell in love with. You…” you hastily wiped at the tear that was suddenly threatening to fall from your eye. “Mine… mine weren’t. You didn’t get a choice in them.”

You watched as the look on Bucky’s face morphed into one of pure confusion. Of course he didn’t fully understand– you weren’t just talking about scars, after all. He… just didn’t realize that yet.

“You didn’t have a choice in them, either, sweetheart,” he said softly, eying the way your hand protectively rested over your abdomen. “And if you’re talking about the scar from when you got shot… well, fuck, if that scar’s not my favorite thing.”

You looked at him in wide-eyed disbelief. “How could this… disgusting reminder…” you choked out, “of everything that happened last year… how could that be your favorite thing, Bucky?”

“That scar means you’re alive, doll,” he told her. “That you’re still breathing, still with me, in spite of all of it. So forgive me if I think that makes it the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You closed your eyes and exhaled, his words momentarily taking away the sting of the inadequacy you’d felt ever since the doctors had told you about the extent of your condition. It wasn’t something you were purposefully keeping from Bucky… You had just been too terrified to say it out loud. You were going to tell him. Just not yet.

"Look at me Doll,” he said, getting your attention back onto his face, “I don't like that I have to tell you this at all, but I'm gonna do it, as many times as you need, as many times as it takes for you to believe me. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

You felt your face soften, the tension of insecurity drop from your shoulders as he looked at you through the phone screen, eyes blue pools of adoration. You wanted so badly to just get lost in him, to let him consume you until you were capable of thinking of nothing but him. 

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“It’s something more than just the scar, isn’t it, sweets? You’ve never been ashamed of showing me your body before.” You weren’t vain as a rule, and Bucky knew this about you. You had other scars, worse ones. Uglier ones, but none had ever bothered you the way this one had. None had ever carried the same degree of psychological and emotional baggage. 

You just nodded, afraid that if you spoke, you’d reveal what you’d been keeping from him, blurt it out before you could stop yourself, and it was not the kind of thing you wanted to do over video with thousands of miles of distance between you.

“You don’t have to tell me, doll,” he said, the understanding in his voice so pure that it made you ache. “I know so many of my actions have hurt you; I get that there’s still some trust–”

“Baby, no,” you interrupted. “I trust you, I do. I want to tell you. I’m just… not ready yet.”

“Tell me what I can do for you right now, then, sweetheart,” he offered. He’d brought the phone close to his face, his gaze on you intense and burning through the screen. “What do you need?”

You exhaled, the sight of him so focused and sincere making your knees feel weak. “Just you, Buck,” you whispered, the words coming out in a breathy sigh. “I just want you.”

“I’m right here, doll.” His voice turned low, darker. A soft purr that vibrated your insides. “And I’ll be home with you real soon, but you gotta tell me what I can do for you right. now.”

You sucked in a shuddering gasp of air, indulging in the way his words swept over your body like a languid kiss. Without even thinking, you felt your hand drift down your abdomen, your fingertips dancing along the top of your thigh.

“Buck,” you found yourself whining as you squirmed your ass across the mattress, searching for any inch of friction you could find. 

“Yeah, baby,” he grunted, readjusting the camera so it was once again propped up and you could see the length of him pressing against the material of his tac-pants. “Tell Sergeant Barnes what you want so he can give it to you.”

A beat of silence passed between you before you both started laughing, your hand coming to cover your face as you suppressed a snort. “Oh my god, Barnes!” you wheezed.

“Yeah, that was awful,” he laughed, palming his face in embarrassment. “Did I kill it?”

You wiped away a stray tear that had leaked from your eye in your laughter. “You’re lucky I find your bad jokes to be such a fucking turn on,” you told him with a grin. 

Bucky frowned. “Wasn’t supposed to be a joke, doll,” he grumbled, a pout forming on his beautiful pink lips. “‘S supposed to be sexy.”

“Oh, I found it very sexy,” you assured him. “You make me laugh, Barnes. That’s the hottest fucking thing I can imagine. Now take off your pants.”

The look in Bucky’s eyes turned from playfully annoyed to seductively heated in the space of a nanosecond. He reached for the zipper of his tac-pants and you licked your lips at the sound of it coming undone. “Get the camera all set up, doll,” he said as he shimmied the pants down his legs. “I want to see every inch of you.”

With a grin, you propped your camera up between your legs, giving Bucky a front row seat to your dripping core. “This work for you, Sarge?” you asked.

“Fuck, sweets,” he began, palming at himself through his boxer-briefs. “Yeah, that works for me.”

“Show me,” you commanded him, bringing your fingers down to lightly trace the outer edges of your lower lips. “Show me how well this view works for you, baby.”

Bucky scrambled to pull his boxer briefs down to his thick thighs, and you watched with bated breath as his cock sprung free, its beautiful, pink tip already glistening with precum. Your entire body erupted in tingles at the sight of him. He was so fucking gorgeous, and he was yours.

“Jesus,” you hissed, bringing a hand to your breast and gently squeezing the flesh. You could feel your mouth thicken with saliva at just the idea of having him down your throat.

“Just Bucky’s fine, baby,” he teased as he grabbed a hold of himself, and you rolled your eyes. “No need to bring God into it.” Slowly, he began stroking his length. You watched in awe as he seemed to grow harder with every downward pull, the veins in his thighs bulging as he thrust his hips up against his hand. If anyone was going to be compared to God during sex, it would and should be Bucky Barnes.

“Touch that pretty clit for me, doll,” he grunted. “Pretend it’s my fingers on you, getting you all warmed up to take my cock.”

“Fuck, Buck,” you whimpered, your fingers moving frantically over your bundle of nerves. You were already soaked; just the sight of him had sent another wave of arousal gushing through you. “Want your dick in my pussy so bad, baby. So fucking bad, it hurts.”

“Soon, sweetheart,” he grunted, watching your fingers strum your clit with wild eyes. “I’ll be home soon, and I’ll fill you up so good, you won’t be able to walk normal for weeks.”

You arched your back and moaned, the memory of the way he stretched you as he entered you, opening you wider than any other man you’d ever had, flooded your mind. “Nothing fills me like you do, baby,” you panted. “Nothing hits me so deep.”

“Yeah?” he grunted, and you could hear the delicious slick, slick sound of his hand moving through the precum that soaked his shaft. “Not even those fancy toys you bought?”

Bucky chuckled when he noticed your eyes pop open and stare at him in surprise. “Oh, I know all about those, doll.” Slick, slick, slick. “Found ‘em when I was helping you pack for the move. All of them.”

You felt a blush rising to your cheeks, and if you didn’t already have your hand on your pussy right in front of him, you might have been embarrassed. “All those toys, and none of them gets me off as good as you do, Buck,” you breathed. “None of them reach that spot the way you do.” It was true– it was the one thing you had desperately searched for during your time of Bad Decisions– someone to hit that place deep inside of you that set your every nerve ending on fire, that made you shiver and convulse with pleasure with each thrust. No one had ever brought on that full body climax that left you shaking and weak like Bucky had. 

“Fuck, doll,” he grunted. “No one touches your A-spot but me.”

“No,” you gasped. You loved how he knew your body so well, knew what he did to you, how you longed for his touch. “No one touches me like you, baby.” 

“Put your fingers in, sweets,” he commanded. “I wanna watch you fuck yourself on that pretty little hand while I pretend it’s my cock.”

You did as he asked, bringing two fingers to your weeping entrance and plunging them inside you. They would never feel as thick or go as deep as any part of Bucky, but for now, they were all you had, so you made the most of them, driving them in and out of your cunt with abandon. 

“Fuck…” you grunted as you felt the coil in your belly begin to tighten, sweat glistening off your brow. “Baby!”

“I know, pretty girl,” Bucky said between grunts of his own. “Tell me how good you feel.”

“So good, Buck,” you moaned. “So fucking good. Want you so bad, Bucky! So fucking bad!”

“I’m right there with you, doll,” he panted. “I’m so close. Gonna blow all over and imagine it’s inside that pretty pussy of yours. Gonna come home and bury myself in your cunt, sweets! Not gonna come out for days!”

“Oh shit, Bucky,” you cried, your release a hare's breath away. “Wanna cum with you, baby.” You curled your fingers inside of you, stroking your G-spot again, and again, trying to imagine it was his thick, calloused fingers inside of you. 

“Just a little longer, sweetheart.” Bucky was yanking at his member now, his pace quick and frantic. 

You felt yourself rising, clawing to the very edge of the precipice, but before you could hurl yourself over the edge, you accidentally hit your phone with your foot, sending it falling to the floor.

You scrambled for the phone. It had landed face-down in the dark, making it harder for you to find, but you followed the sounds of Bucky’s grunts and moans until you made contact. Turning the phone back over, you watched as Bucky, eyes screwed closed, reached his peak, ropes of cum erupting from the tip of his cock and landing across his stomach and hand. 

And, as surely as if someone had doused you with a bucket of water, the spell was broken. You were painfully reminded that he wasn’t there with you. He was half a world away, still out of your reach. 

You sniffled, and Bucky opened his eyes at the sound. “Sweetheart,” he began, his voice laced with concern, “what’s wrong? Did you cum?”

You hitched a breath, holding back a sob, and shook your head. “You’re not here, Buck,” you cried. “It’s not… I thought… I just want to be with you. I miss you so fucking much!” You knew you sounded petulant, like a child, but you were at your limit, truly. You wanted nothing more than to be back to normal with him. A better normal, even, now without the shadow of Carthage looming over you both.

“Oh, doll.” Bucky picked up his phone and brought it close to his face, his now flaccid cock out of frame. “Baby, I’m so sorry. Do you wanna try again? We can focus just on you. Make sure you get off nice and good.”

You shook your head, feeling the tears of frustration and longing slide down your cheeks. “No,” you 

whimpered. “I think… I think I just wanna go to sleep.”

Bucky frowned at you, the look in his eyes sorrowful. “I fucking hate that I’m too far away to help you, Pocket,” he said. “I can’t stand seeing you like this, knowing you’re hurting.”

“It’s just been so long, Buck,” you whispered to him as you buried yourself under the blankets of your bed. “I feel like every time we even try, something keeps getting in our way. What if it’s the universe, trying to tell us we shouldn’t be getting back together?”

Bucky sighed, thick and heavy. “I know you don’t believe that, sweetheart,” he said. “It’s just been some bad timing; we got out of our groove, is all. I promise, things will go back to the way they were. The way they’re supposed to be.”

Not long ago, you told him that his promises didn’t mean shit to you, but now… now, you wanted to believe him more than anything.

“It’s just a little longer,” he clarified.  You nodded, swallowing down any remaining tears that threatened to fall. You wanted to believe him. You needed to believe him, but the part of you that had been irrevocably broken when he’d hurt you couldn’t help but whisper that, maybe, in some way, he’d always leave you unsatisfied.

<- Part 1 / Part 3 ->

[crushribbons]

𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

summary: Leander Prewett holds the record for densest man alive.

cw: 5k words, fluff, pseudo-friends to lovers, SMUT (18+ ONLY), this one got away from me ngl☝️, fingering, penetrative sex, fem reader. based on requests from anon and @rypnami ty very much lovies! requests open :)

a/n: smart boy being dumb make brain go brrrrrr xx laney

She hadn’t expected the greenhouses to be so sweltering. The bright, open ceiling let sunlight pour down onto the students as they packed soil around their Mandrake seedlings, and sweat was pooling on more than one neck. Her robes felt heavier and heavier as the heat encroached. The mandrake screams had been enough to frazzle her until her temple throbbed and her hair stuck out like a fuzzy halo around her forehead. 

Despite all this, she was really trying to listen to Professor Garlick’s sweet voice instructing her to go test out the Chinese chomping cabbages in the adjacent greenhouse. She really and truly was, but her eyes had just followed the professor’s outstretched hand and made contact with the student assigned to help her. On the top of the landing stood a tall, red-haired Gryffindor (Do they all have red hair? she thought to herself), clicking his fingers absently at his side and looking somewhat bored. Butterflies gathered in a swarm in her stomach. Professor Garlick said his name, but it was lost in the rush of blood in her ears. The boy turned and caught sight of her, and she wondered if the stuffy greenhouse was getting to him, too, or if his face was always that flushed.

She tried hard not to run up the stairs, but still took them at a light jog. “Hello,” she said, trying to hide the breathlessness in her voice as she landed on the top step. It was her first week of lessons, for Merlin’s sake. This boy, attractive as he was, should not be rendering her so flustered. 

His fingers were still clicking even as he extended a hand towards her to shake. It seemed to take effort for him to still them before their hands slid together and she felt the smooth skin, slight callouses worked into them from past labor. Up close, she saw his long, regal nose (complete with a pink patch of sunburn across the bridge) and eyes the color of soft, melting chocolate swirled with honey. The comparison made her sweet tooth ache.

“Prewett, Leander Prewett,” he was saying, when she recovered herself enough to listen. Their hands were still interlocked for some reason. 

“Leander?” she asked dumbly. 

“That’s right.” He gave her a shy and sheepish grin. “My mother says it means ‘lion man’. Destined to be in ol’ Godric’s care since the day I was born, I suppose.” His voice was deep and even, the prim and polished accent floating gracefully past her ear.

Prewett led her through the maze of doors and staircases that took them to greenhouse 5, which housed the more volatile plants. The “toothy ones”, as Everett Clopton had informed her. A curious Venomous Tentacula reached for her shoulder as they passed it, but Leander gave a grunt and swatted it with the leather bag he carried. The toothy menace shrunk back into its pot dejectedly. 

“He looks hungry, poor thing,” she giggled as they continued down the line of potting tables. Her guide snorted.

“Well, he’s not getting Shoulder of Young Lady for lunch today.” 

She suppressed a smile at his words. Young lady. How very proper of him. She watched as he stopped before a potting table of some docile-looking cabbages. “Have a go,” he said. “They won’t start biting until they’ve been thrown, but act quickly. They can be…impatient.” He plucked a cabbage up from the table and handed it to her gingerly. Her tingling nerves proved a valuable asset, the adrenaline coursing through her since she’d lain eyes on Leander giving her the clarity she needed to chuck the cabbage square at the practice dummy in the corner of the greenhouse. They both stepped back when the cabbage ricocheted off the dummy a few meters toward them, and Leander’s hand slipped instinctively over her forearm, holding her there. 

She could hardly pay attention to the dummy’s demise. The cabbage bared its fangs and launched itself toward the mannequin, slamming it to the floor and ripping every bit of material it could off its surface, but all she could think about was the way Leander’s long fingers were wrapped around her arm, applying light pressure. He looked down at where they were joined and relinquished her with a start, seeming surprised by his own actions. A pang of disappointment nicked her.

“Can’t be too careful with those devils,” Leander said. He moved behind her and began fussing with an empty pot, his fingers clicking once again. She was certain she liked him. Screw it being only the first week of classes. 

Courage built up in her throat until she heard herself asking, “Prewett, would you like to take me to Hogsmeade this weekend? I have to go buy some new books and robes, and I’m afraid I’ll get horribly lost with no one to direct me.” She felt around and shoved the detailed map of Hogsmeade Professor Weasley had given her deeper into her bag.

Leander’s head snapped up, eyes the size of dinner plates. He stuttered for eleven seconds, brushing dirt off his hands and looking everywhere except at her. When he finally regained the ability to talk, he spluttered, “Er, um, I don’t get out much and…um, well, you’d probably do better with someone better-traveled…” Her brow furrowed as he continued his rambling. “I could introduce you to Natsai Onai, she’s a wonderful guide, or, uh–my friend Garreth might be helpful…” 

Professor Garlick stuck her head in the doorway and called to them from the top of the steps. “How did you fare with the cabbages, my little seedlings?” Leander may as well have disapparated with the speed he tore out of the greenhouse. 

He threw a hasty “It went very well, professor!” over his shoulder as he disappeared out into the Hogwarts grounds. The witch he had left behind looked with frustration after him. Professor Garlick seemed not to notice as she floated down the stairs, cooing at every plant she passed and rubbing the occasional leaf between her fingers lovingly. She patted the remaining Chomping Cabbages on the potting table.

“I’m so glad you were able to master the cabbage, dear,” she sighed. “They can be some of my more fickle kodomo, but I hear you’ve risen to meet every challenge Hogwarts has to offer!” 

Her student stammered something at her, thanked her for the day’s lecture, and ran from the classroom, hoping to catch Prewett by his collar and ask him why he’d been so reluctant to walk with her to the wizarding hamlet. She’d seen the way he looked at her when they shook hands, and the way his hand had slid so perfectly around her, protecting her on instinct; he was interested in her, at the very least. 

And she was growing more interested in him with every step she gained on him, the back of his freckled neck coming into view more and more as she trotted across the courtyard and followed him into the central hall. He walked toward the stairs, but veered off course to the left suddenly and instead ducked under them, throwing his bag down and scrubbing his hands over his face. She walked over to him, determination setting a line in her brow. 

“Prewett! What was that?!” she demanded. Leander jumped and backed away from her like she was the very plant they’d been wrangling moments ago. “I don’t bite!” Her voice softened when she saw the terrified expression on his face. She wondered if maybe she’d misread all of this from the beginning. He certainly didn’t look very interested in her. “I just wanted to get to know you a little better, that’s all.”

Leander swallowed thickly and looked side-to-side for an escape route. None that didn’t involve trampling the witch with crossed arms presented themselves. “Oh! Oh, well, I suppose I could assist you, then,” he said, his shoulders starting to relax as a smile spread across her face. “What’d you think I wanted? For you to take me to a lovely dinner and then stargazing?” Even as she said it, her smile faltered for a second, because she realized that was precisely what she wanted. Prewett picked up his bag and they began walking together towards the Great Hall. 

“No, nothing like that,” he mumbled back. His voice was strained and creaking. 

Two years.

Two entire fucking years, and it still hadn’t sunk into the great, thick, egg-headed skull of Leander Prewett that she wanted him to kiss her. Luckily, the lure of the mistletoe in the Gryffindor common room was widely renowned as being impossible to resist, although that may have just been a rumor started by a certain Weasley who grew extra, er, restless during the run-up to winter exams. 

Prewett’s face swam in and out of her vision, the firewhiskey-laden eggnog that kept the end-of-term Christmas festivities in full swing starting to take its hold on her brain. He was a lightweight, so after she’d snatched him by his shirt sleeve, muttering, “Let’s do the mistletoe, Prewett!”, the half a glass that he’d drunk was enough to have him following behind her with a bemused expression. 

“What, like, kiss under it?” Leander queried as she stopped under the bundle of berries that was hung over the fireplace. His feet tripped, and she looked down to see that he was snapping his fingers. As always. She had learned that he did it constantly, no matter the situation. Trying to decide what to eat for dinner, trying to remember a particular Arithmancy formula, and especially when he was trying to pretend that he didn’t have a gargantuan crush on her.

After their first trip to Hogsmeade in fifth year, she had figured it all out very quickly: Prewett, for all his brains and his oftentimes too-loud mouth, staunchly believed that she would never fall for him. It was laughable. She’d fallen for him almost immediately after they’d met, and even if she hadn’t, his behavior over the next couple years had condemned her forever. Over the summers, they sent letters back and forth, and when she had included a doodle of herself that Cressida had scrawled on some parchment, he had slid it into the clasp of his leather bag. It was nearly shredded to tatters, but still there. During school, they spent every free moment they had together, and she had even shown Leander her Room of Requirement. He’d adored the comfortable retreat she’d made for herself, although his irrational fear of house-elves (confessed to her after one-too-many butterbeers: “They just make me nervous!!”) made him steer far clear of sweet Deek. Still, it did not occur to him that she liked him.

His ignorance had started causing big problems for her in the middle of sixth year. One night, after an intense but friendly Quidditch match among a few of their classmates, Leander entered the nook of the library where she was studying. She looked up, ready to bemoan the existence of Ancient Runes with him, but the words died in her throat when she saw the thin shirt he had worn to the game, stuck to every inch of his torso with sweat. Her quill tumbled from her fingertips as she took in his slicked hair and pink cheeks. Imagining what his body looked like under his layers of stuffy jumpers and starched collars had not prepared her in the slightest for the real thing. 

“God…damn, Prewett,” she had whispered. “Where have you been hiding all that?” Her eyes were shamelessly raking over his lean frame. 

Leander scoffed and said, “I know, I really need a shower.”

Still, it did not occur to him that she liked him.

And then, when she fell in love with him, the situation became really dire. No matter how many times she told him, it always fell on deaf, dumb, and blind ears. She may as well have been telling the Chinese Chomping Cabbages that she loved them.

“Lee, I think you’re so wonderful. You’re smart and sweet and I–I really love you.”

“Oh, that’s so kind of you. I’m sure you’ll meet someone soon.”

His stubborn refusal to believe that she could actually care for someone like him drove her insane at the same time it drove her deeper in love with him. The clueless looks he gave her when she would tuck herself in close to him during Quidditch matches and his protestations that there had to be someone better that she could be spending time with during the weekends were so adorable, that if she hadn’t been so desperate for him to finally kiss her, she would have allowed them to continue.

“Ugh. Obviously to kiss me. And they say you’re smart for a Gryffindor.” Leander opened his mouth to object in indignation, but she giggled and tugged him by his tie to her mouth. 

“W-b–!” Leander got two small sounds out before their lips were pressed together, and the sound that escaped him then almost made her knees buckle. Half-yelp and half-growl, years of pent-up desire leaked out of him and flowed over her. She dropped his tie and raked her hands through his hair, kissing the absolute fuck out of this clueless, gangly bastard. Leander didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, so he placed them gently on her shoulders, as if she was made of glass. She was not.

She grabbed his hands and slid them down to her waist, where he eagerly grabbed her jumper and tugged it closer to him. Their chests bumped together, and she thought her heart might burst. His lips against hers felt like finally, like every minute wasted flirting with this boy was very much worth it.

When they broke apart, Leander stepped away from her, arms straight down at his side, and said in a monotone, “That was nice. See you when term starts back up.” He tried to flee up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory, but she whipped out her wand, pointed it at his back, and growled “Accio!” He came skidding back across the floor to her, bumping a few party-goers but not causing much of a ruckus compared to the gobstones match that had just broken out between Garreth and Natty, two generous shots of firewhiskey in store for the loser. She caught him by the back of his collar. His neck was practically steaming.

“Are you really this dense?”

“Who, me?” he stammered.

“Yeah, you.”

“About what?”

She screamed in frustration and dropped his collar. “Leander, do you have feelings for me?” she asked, her voice muffled from burying her face in her hands. It was going to take a troll to beat this concept into her hapless darling.

“Of course!” Leander melted. He looked like he’d just been told he needed to defeat a Norwegian Ridgeback using only a stick. “You’re my favorite person in the entire world…I adore you!”

“As a friend, or as more?”

Red, from top to toe. “Well, I mean-uh…hmmm…”

“Because I love you, you dolt. Hopelessly. And I don’t know what it will take to convince you of this.”

He chewed his bottom lip in a very distracting way, and she considered giving up for the moment and resuming this discussion later in favor of dragging him back under the mistletoe. She watched as the rusty gears in his brain cranked and grinded against each other, clanking into place with one final THUD as his eyes widened.

“You want to…be with me.” She threw her hands in the air with a cry of mock joy and relief. "Blinder than Ominis Gaunt, you are!" The party was still raging around them, but no one seemed to be paying attention to their little tableau, save for a more-than-a-little tipsy Imelda Reyes, who passed by them and smirked, “Looks like Prewett’s finally gonna get laid and relax a little bit.”

The comment made Leander splutter in indignation, momentarily distracting him from the crisis happening in his mind. “Imelda! Shut–”

“Prewett,” growled the witch who was still waiting to hear what he had to say about her confession of undying love.

“Oh! Right! I…um…” Leander rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and gave three short, subtle snaps with the other. Finally, he sighed. “You’re just…you’re too perfect for me. You deserve so much–”

She cut him off by threading her fingers back into his hair and mumbling, “I deserve you,” before kissing him once more. The kiss was even better this time, Leander having recovered his wits enough to push at her lips with his tongue and slide it over hers. She groaned and began undoing his tie while also pushing him back up against the brick wall next to the fireplace. His hands stroked through her hair like she was a precious artifact that he couldn’t believe he was privileged enough to view. 

They broke apart to gasp for air and Leander hazily said, “Fuck! You’re, I’m sorry, you’re just so pretty!” Leander never swore. Even when he hit his toe on the same coffee table every morning in the common room. The obscenity falling from his proper lips made something inside her gut twist, and when she realized why he was apologizing, it twisted even tighter.

Leander Prewett was hard, very hard, for her. She had been shamelessly grinding against him as they kissed without even realizing it, and he was now sporting a very obvious erection. The brown trousers he was wearing did little to conceal it as well. When he saw her staring, agog, at his groin, he colored and tried to cover it with his hand. “It’s just an accident,” he stammered, but she swatted his hands away and kissed him sloppily.

“It better not be,” she whispered into his mouth, and he honest-to-Merlin whimpered as her hand slid down to replace his and palmed him over his pants. “It better be all for me.”

“It is, it is,” he promised, panting to maintain his composure while she stroked him up and down. They were tucked away, but not nearly enough for her liking. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward, tugging him behind her as she wove through the crowd of people cheering for either Natty or Garreth (though, most cheers were for Natty; she had Garreth dead to rights and his sweaty forehead indicated that he knew he was about to stink for the rest of the night) and through the portrait door.

“Where are you two off to at such an hour?” clucked the Fat Lady indignantly. The noise from the party had jostled her awake when her portrait swung open, and she looked very disgruntled. They paid no mind to her, taking off down the hallway.

“Where are we off to?” Leander demanded, still trailing behind her as they rounded a corner and took a staircase down to the ground floor. 

She smirked to herself and paused for a moment to press him against yet another wall and snog him with abandon. Part of her worried vaguely that she was growing addicted to the little sounds he made every time their lips touched. He was getting bolder and bolder with each kiss, and this time he actually flipped her around so her back was to the wall. Then, he slid his hands up the front of her sweater and began softly kneading one of her breasts, a delighted sigh leaking into the kiss.

“Prewett,” she breathed, hardly able to believe that this was the same boy who insisted on covering his eyes until she had jumped into the Black Lake for a spring-time swim, so as not to see her in her bathing costume. His fingers were groping her greedily, lips trailing down from her mouth to her neck. “I’ve wanted this for so long, I…”

He hushed her gently, and she saw that his honey-brown eyes were fixed on her with an overwhelming fondness. “I can’t believe you want me,” he whispered, almost in reverence. “I’ve dreamed about you every night since we met. It just doesn’t seem real.” “And all those times I told you how fit you were? How much I loved you?” She couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows and poke him in his, fuck, his surprisingly taught stomach. An abdomen like that could prove very useful for the plans swirling in her head. “That was, what, just friends being friends?” Not for the first time that night and almost certainly not for the last, he blushed. “Well, I didn’t know! Why would anyone like you love someone like me?” He smiled and went in for another kiss, but his words, meant in jest though they were, made her hold up a hand to his chest to stop him.

“Don’t say that, Lee. Please. You’re everything to me.”

He moaned, and leaned back into her. The kiss was much slower this time, sensual and sweet, and she felt adoration pouring from his mouth. It had all been worth it, all the time spent wondering if he’d ever see her the way she saw him. They were alone now and they were wrapped around each other and she never wanted it to end.

Laughter came floating down from the floor above them and they both looked up to where it came from. Word circulated fast at Hogwarts, especially when it involved two students devouring each other in a hallway after lights out. She bit her lip, but a perfect idea occurred to her quickly. She quirked an eyebrow at Leander.

“Remember that room I showed you in the Astronomy wing?”

When they tumbled through the Room of Requirement door, various articles of clothing hanging off them and hair very disheveled, she was almost mortified to see that all the potting tables and potions station that she had carefully arranged in the center of the marble floor had vanished, and a massive four-poster bed rested against the wall opposite the lower vivarium. Almost.

“Well, that’s convenient, hm?” Leander asked with a cheeky grin, but she was already pushing him down onto the bed and ripping off the white undershirt he still had on (his jumper had long since been lost in some corridor or other). His trousers came next, but as she set about unbuttoning them, he sat up on his elbows and called to her softly. She looked up.

“Have you ever…done this before?” he asked, gentleness in every word. The truth and a lie that could save her some embarrassment tussled in her head for a moment, but the truth won out. She knew Leander would never make her feel ashamed for anything, no matter how trivial. 

She shook her head. Her hair tumbled loose around her face, having been pulled out of its twist by his desperate fingers somewhere around the Potions classroom. “No, I…” Despite her effort to not feel awkward, the words caught in her throat, suddenly thick. “I wanted it to be with you.” She had never heard her own voice so small, so vulnerable. Chancing a glance up at Leander, she saw with surprise that he was beaming, eyes bright and glassy with love. 

His deep voice choked a little bit as well as he said, “Me too.”

If she hadn’t known his character before this, known what an utter gentleman he was to the core, she would have accused him of blatantly lying. When he slid two fingers into her and moved them with agonizing precision and grace in and out, ghosting the bundle of nerves that set her body ablaze, she threw her head back and cried, “How are you so amazing at this?!” 

Leander looked up, his lip caught between his teeth in concentration as he watched his fingers disappear inside her and reappear covered in her slick. “There are, er…” He cleared his throat and dug the fingers of his free hand into her thigh, heightening the sensation further. “There are certain books that one can–can read to…research…?” He trailed off and tried to distract her by moving himself between her spread legs to kiss her moans away. Merlin, this man was too delicious. 

All their clothing lay discarded on the ground next to the bed. She silently thanked the god that must have presided over the Room of Requirement for knowing implicitly that not only did she desire a bed, but silk sheets that wrapped around their bodies like cool water. Leander kept up his ministrations with his hand, alternating between fucking her and rubbing her clit in tight circles, until a sun burst behind her eyelids and she screamed his name until he clamped a hand over her mouth. 

“Fuck, come on, darling! Someone will hear us!” He was holding himself over her, panting from the pleasure of having made her come with spectacular enthusiasm, red hair falling into his eyes. Looking every inch like a well-versed practitioner of the sensual arts, instead of her friend who, just an hour ago, had thanked her politely for kissing him. She tried her hardest to form words, but he’d well and truly fucked them out of her. 

Her head lolled on her neck as she mumbled something like “Can’t hear anythin’ in here” from behind his hand. 

“Oh.” Leander withdrew his hand from her mouth, then cocked his head to one side, regarding her beneath him with curiosity. “So I could hear you scream my name like that all night, if I wanted to?” 

She had wanted her first time to be with Leander, not just because she was in love with him, but because she knew he would be soft with her. And, bless him, he really was trying to be. But the look on his face when he finally placed his hands under her backside, lifting her hips flush with his and slid into her for the first time, was unrestrained hedonism. His brows knit together and a strangled groan fought its way out of him. “Oh my–Shit! Shit, shit, shit, fuck, you feel too goddamn good,” he moaned. The pressure of his cock splitting her open for the first time stung at first, and she winced until her body had relaxed. But then it did, and it was indescribable.

“Oh, God, Lee,” she whispered, her hands flying to his back and raking her nails down the lean muscles there as he pushed his hips forward ever-so-gently. 

“Does it hurt?” he asked hurriedly. He stilled his hips and she grunted in frustration and smacked him. She emphatically reassured him that it did not hurt, and he took her words, for the first time in perhaps their entire friendship, at face value. 

Leander Prewett fucks like a god, she thought, lost in a dreamy haze, as he began railing her with so much determination that she couldn’t believe it really was Leander Prewett doing this to her. His cock was so long, she felt it brush up against her limit and gasped at the strange feeling. “What is it?” he demanded again. “Hurt–?” “It doesn’t hurt, baby, I swear!” she moaned. “Just keep going, God, just like that!”

Leander smirked, readjusting his arms to brace himself against the mattress on either side of her shoulders. “Bossy.” 

“Shut up!” “That’s my girl,” he muttered, and dipped down to kiss her. Their lips melded together and she thought she might swoon. Her fingers crawled down his back to his ass and she dug her fingers in the supple skin, pulling him more flush to her cunt so he was hitting a new angle and pulling a precious little “Ah!” from him as he slipped off one arm momentarily. He righted himself, using his right hand to apply pressure to her clit and making her back arch off the bed.

She did, in fact, scream his name as she came again, and the shit-eating grin on his face, which was now glowing with desire and confidence, made her heart soar. This boy really believed that she loved him; it was etched in every inch of him.

“Did you–d-did you finish?” he panted. She would have rolled her eyes if she hadn’t just experienced a small ego-death from the orgasm he gave her. 

“Of course I did, asshole.” He was still pounding relentlessly into her, chasing his own peak now like a bloodhound on a scent. 

“Good. F-fuck, darling, I…I love you so much,” he said, and a gasp escaped her despite herself. He’d actually said it. She knew what it meant for the real Leander, restrained and proper and nervous, to say that. He didn’t say things without thinking them through, sometimes for years. The fact that it had taken this sexed-up, seductive, and unchained Leander to come out and say it was really just a bonus. 

“Let go for me, Lee,” she murmured and planted a kiss on his forehead. He groaned and slammed into her two more times, cumming hard on the second and releasing inside her. Their foreheads pressed together and sweat mingled between them as they both panted down from their releases.

Suddenly, Leander flew back, eyes wild. “Oh, no, shit–a baby?!” He babbled incoherently for several seconds before she realized what he was on about and quieted him with a little laugh.

“No, Lee, it’s alright!” she assured, delighted to no end by the way she could see the responsibility of fatherhood settling onto his poor, sweet, stupid eighteen-year-old shoulders. “I have a charm on.” She pointed to the necklace with the amethyst stone set at the center that hung around her neck. His back drooped in relief and he rolled to the side.

“Thank goodness. I adore you, but I think we ought to wait a few more years to start a family,” he said matter-of-factly. A laugh bubbled up inside her. 

“Only a few years?” 

Leander blushed, but rolled over on one elbow to kiss a tantalizing trail from her jaw to her ear, and suddenly, he didn’t seem so funny anymore. “Well, with how much I’m planning to fuck you now that you’re mine, I’d really be surprised if it’s not sooner.” 

Oh.

She hid her growing arousal by nervously giggling, “‘Fuck me’? Leander Prewett, you used to be a gentleman.” He paid her no mind, moving down to her breasts to kiss and leave dark love bites down them.

“Mm, the woman I love brings out the worst behavior in me, it appears.”

masterlist

[buddhistmusings]

TW - discussion of War and violence, genocide, etc.

I have been noticing a lot of far-right ideology being cloaked in progressive language lately. I've noticed this even and especially among some people who have a large audience, which is especially disappointing.

Some red flags :

🚩 - using the Holocaust as a rhetorical strategy against Jewish people.

🚩 - using an ethnicity or race as the basis of a political position (ex. Only people of x ethnicity should live in y country).

🚩 - minimizing the scope and impact of the Holocaust, Nazi Aggression, the Holodomor, the Bosnian, Armenian, Uigher or other genocides, being unwilling to acknowledge the Farhud, or any pogrom of Jews or Romani people.

🚩 - being skeptical of the importance of Ukrainian success in the Russo-Ukrainian War, or denying the reality of Ukrainian sovereignty, or the reality of the ethnic cleansing they've historically (and currently) experience(d) at the hands of authoritarianism in Russia.

🚩 - using misogyny against women they disagree with (even conservative ones). Same for racism or any other prejudice.

🚩 - advocating for violence against people or groups they disagree with.

🚩 - promoting color revolution theory

🚩- chronic "US bad" takes. Yes, the US has done awful things, and that should be talked about, but we're not wrong in every situation. Iran's Islamic Regime is awful and disgusting. The North Korean, Chinese, and Russian governments are also awful.

🚩 - equating the actions and beliefs of governments with that of the population itself.

These are just some examples. Feel free to come up with your own. Remember, just because a source looks progressive, doesn't mean it is. Think critically. Don't be a pseudo-progressive.

[sombredancer]

Recent visually beautiful and generally watchable Russian fantasy movies

(because I start forgetting they exist at all) Ironically, all of them are adaptations of books/comics.

I Am Dragon / Он — дракон (2015) This movie is a very free adaptation of the novel "The Rite" / "Ритуал" by Maryna and Serhiy Dyachenko (Марина и Сергей Дяченко). It's a reinterpreting of an ancient tale about a maiden, a hero and a dragon. I don`t like the novel because it's very postmodern, wracks the typical fairytale plot and hurts my escapist feelings by ugly reality, but the movie is pretty fairytale-ish and nice. Firstly, it is visually beautiful and represent Slavic pseudo-medieval lore the way it should have always been in Slavic fantasy.

Secondly, as a love story between a monster and a maiden, it has got A PLENTY of tropes I'm usually looking for in Chinese dramas, so I understand very well why it was pretty popular in Asia.

Thirdly, when I said it's visually beautiful I wasn't joking. The main hero is played not by an actor, but by a male model, who is shirtless all the time (and sometimes pantless) and has a very fit and good-looking body. It's something unbelievable that someone in Russia made a movie to please women's eyes! Really, it's insane!

The folk-rock band Мельница wrote an insanely beautiful song "Обряд" (The Rite) for this movie (more matched to the book plot, though), but it was never used as OST, which is a shame. The song is about a black sheep girl, who is denied by society and asks a dragon to come for her and to take her away, because the dragon is denied by this world just like her. You can listen to it here. The band also has a song "Змей" (The Wyrm) (based on Lev Gumilev's poem), which is more accurate to the plot of the movie: the wyrm kidnaps maidens to make them its wives, but they are all dying during the flight; at the end of the song a hero-knight is ready to shoot it in order to stop it. Listen to it here.

It ends with HE, which is better than the book's obscure ending, so it is pleasure for me to rewatch it till these days.

Major Grom: Plague Doctor / Майор Гром: Чумно�� Доктор (2021)

It is an adaptation of Russian comic series "Major Grom" by Bubble comics. I am traditionally not very happy with the source material, but it is very good reworked to be the screen play of this movie.

It's very beautifully made in terms of director's, cameraman's and screenwriter's work, which is a rare thing for Russian movies. Also, the actors are young and handsome, especially the villain, which is a rare thing not only for Russian movies, but for the current Western movies, too. It has got a lot of allusions to Russian reality and a lot of beautiful views of Saint Petersburg, the second capital of Russia and one of the most beautiful Russian cities. And it has got some unusual visual solutions that turn it into a comic it should be.

The plot revolves around a mysterious serial killer (kinda bad Batman), a black sheep police officer and Russian Mark Zuckerberg (kind of). Mark Zuckerberg is the best guy of this movie and I like him a lot! Серёёёёжа! 🧡🧡🧡

This movie wasn't popular in Russia because of political situation in the country by the moment of its release (the both sides found out in there something insulting for them and banned it), but even if it has something like that, I honestly didn't pay attention to it. It's just a nice blockbuster with a tragic and handsome villain. The villain also has got his own BL-drama (in the comics they are really lovers, it`s as obvious as it could be shown in a Russian comic).

By the way, the villain is hot, insane, ruthless, sensitive and suffering. How does he contain all of this character treats in one personality? you may ask. He doesn`t. He has dissociative identity disorder, I would answer.

I don`t know if it works by now, but some time ago you could watch this lovely movie on Netflix.

The Master and Margarita / Мастер и Маргарита (2024) This is a loose adaptation of Russian classical novel "The Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov. I genuinely hate this book, but the adaptation reinterprets it, divides it into very interesting layers and makes it understandable and beautiful.

It`s layered, so it will probably be hard to understand what layer are we currently on if you are not familiar with the original story. The first layer is an ugly Soviet reality, the second layer is a plot of the novel that the main hero is writing, a story within a story. The third layer is the insane intertwining of the first two layers. On the reality layer the Master loses his job and freedom because of friend's denunciation and becomes star-crossed lovers with a married woman. On the novel level he meets devil, who visits Moscow by chance, and the devil gives him and his woman opportunity to live their lives being free from everything that usually tortures people IRL. Somewhere among those layers is a little plot about Jesus and Pontius Pilate.

The movie is visually beautiful. Although it feels pretty anti-Soviet, Soviet visuals of the movie are gorgeous. There were used the Stalin-times concepts of Moscow of the Future, the CGI buildings in frame came from the real architecture projects of those times. The Stalin Empire architecture style and views are typical for Moscow (but as I know, ironically, this all was shot in Saint Petersburg). It seems to me that this movie is heavily stuffed with visual allusions to the Western works: devil's escort looks like bunch of Pennywises, Margarita is Enchantress from Suicide Squad I, the scene of blood dripping is from Blade I etc. Usually, when I see it in Russian movies, it feels like plagiarism because I can recognize the reference but there is nothing except for these references . But here we have got the plot, so the allusions work as allusions and don`t irritate me.

The movie is dark, disturbing, uncomfortable. It really makes you feel as if you watch devil and his escort marching around you; they ravage, kill and destroy everything and you can only breathlessly, helplessly and in fear watch them. The German actor playing devil is insanely good. He stole the movie and I understand why it should have been named Woland (the devil's name) instead of the current movie's name. You may want to watch it, because it's very unusual in terms of plot and visuals experience, especially when you are not familiar with the book.