#Prowl is just a gremlin here

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Thinking about how fun it must be for normal-sized bots to try and do anything with stuff built more for big-frame bots.

[alexlwrites]

As REQUESTED! Here's part 3 of "Yoongi who never had a crush... Until you" from my notes app!

This is a little longer than the others due to my commute to work taking a little longer today, so yall can thank the Sao Paulo train system for that!

As I mentioned previously, I am now open to commissions through my ko-fi! So you can buy me a coffee and request a short scenario, whether it be based on this fic, one of my others, or something entirely new! The link to my ko-fi is in my bio!

Anywho! Enjoy!

----

Yoongi had an on going theory - now proven over many many times - that any and all problems he encountered could somehow be traced back to Jimin.

Beer missing from the fridge? Jiminie. His files mysteriously disappearing from his computer, replaced by a bootleg version of The Sims 3? Jimin. The Plague? Park Jimin, that fucking rat.

And once more, in a house party he had no interested being at, poor Yoongi found himself victim of the consequences of his ill-fated association with that god-forsaken gremlin, now smiling smugly from across the circle where his friends and a few acquaintances sat.

"Everyone knows the rules, right?" Jimin said, innocently like he wasn't the cause of Yoongi's on going demise "You spin the bottle and whoever it points to, you have to kiss!"

Yoongi snorted from his place in a chair outside the circle. At 30 years old, he was clearly above such childish games and would never submit himself to such humiliating and depraved behavior...

"I'm here! I'm here! Sorry I'm late!" he heard and he swore time stopped as you, of all people, sat within the circle next to a Jungkook, smoothing down your tennis skirt as you smiled "What are we playing?"

"Spin the bottle!" Jimin smiled grew, a mischievous gleam appearing as he peared at his frozen friend.

Your eyes looked around the circle, falling on Yoongi's a couple feet behind and he swore even the singular hair in his left toe stood up in alert "Yoongi's not playing?" You asked.

Jimin shrugged in despondency "Well, no-"

"Of course I am!" Yoongi threw himself onto the ground, sending a poor unsuspecting Taehyung flying out of the way with a whelp "I love this game!"

Yoongi did not in fact love this game. He loathed it.

They had played several rounds and his bottle was nowhere close to pointing at you. Instead, he kissed Namjoon twice and slapped Taehyung once for putting his slimy tongue out as their faces got closer.

Was he cursed, he wondered, the face of dispirited desperation, watching as Hoseok and Jin made out in a way that could only be described as disproportionately violent. What could he have done in his past lives that would lead to this punishment, the sheer torture of sitting across from you and not getting to kiss you? Had he not earned your affections? Did he not claim your love through the cosmical power of dibs?

Whatever. WhaTEVER! So it would be, he would die alone. A monk amongst 6 manwhores, a fortitude of loneliness, cursed to roam the earth in his loveless state...

Oh, it was his turn. He spinned the bottle thoughtlessly, mind still wondering about the implications of his slowly returning virginity due to solitude.

Oh.

Oh.

You looked up at him as the bottle pointed straight at your form all the way across the circle and Yoongi swore someone had to call 911 at the way his heart stopped. His condition - simptitis - was worsening by the second.

Someone wheel him into the emergency room - you were crawling across the circle, prowling really, your blouse dipping in a way that left nothing to the imagination, and trust him, he had imagined!

You stopped, kneeling in front of him "Hi, Mr. Min."

Here are some symptoms to look for if you believe you could suffer from simptitis:

-accelerated heart beat

-exaggerated hand sweating

-inability to form coherent thoughts, not to be confused with just being stupid, which Yoongi was starting to think it was his case

-ill timed boners

And, the most common one:

-praise kink

Yoongi seemed to be displaying all of the above at the same time and when you softly asked "Are you okay with this?" All he could do was brace himself and nod.

If Hoseok and Jin's kiss was violent, this one was peaceful, slow, soft and way too passionate for a spin the bottle session. You tasted like sicilian lemon and gin and Yoongi was only but an alcoholic man at your feet, cradling your face to keep you close, refusing to let go of the addictive feeling of your lips on his.

Someone coughed awkwardly and you stepped back, face flushed and chest heaving. You looked deliciously disheveled and Yoongi thought of other circumstances where he could make you look like that again.

Okay, so maybe Jimin wasn't that bad.  Maybe he wasn't the physical manifestation of Yoongi's karma. Maybe that phat assed hobbit was up to something with his seventh grade games...

Oh, it was your turn. Maybe Yoongi would get to kiss you again!

Nope. It landed on Jimin, who wasted absolutely no time in bringing your face down to his.

The betrayal? The bro-trayal?

Back stabbing little tinker bell bitch.

Bugger.

Bugger it all to hell.

[arceespinkgun]

I think I've reached my last nerve with how TF fans treat Jazz on here and on AO3, and I feel the need to rant about it. Obligatory "not all Jazz fans" and "not all JazzProwl fans" disclaimer here... if this doesn't sound like it's describing the content you make or enjoy, then it's not. Honestly, I don't think this angry rant is going to convince anybody of anything, but I'm posting it because I want to make it clear that people see this and are aware it's racist.

Never let it be said that racism isn't thriving in the TF fandom on Tumblr and AO3, because so much Jazz fan content is the most blatantly racist shit. And it's nowhere near as bad on other sites that people here usually claim are more racist—I've never seen what I'm about to describe on r/transformers, for example. TF fans on here often claim to love Jazz so much and say he's one of the best, most unhateable TF characters along with Soundwave, but do they ACTUALLY love Jazz?

Tumblr and AO3 users when they see this great, heavily Black-coded hero: We love Jazz! Ooh, what if he was a slave? What if he was hyper-violent? What if he was a disruptive chaos gremlin? What if he was hypersexual? What if he was lazy and never did his work? What if he was a drug addict? What if he was a prostitute? What if he had an evil alter? What if he used to be/was secretly a Decepticon? What if he was a notorious criminal? What if he was literally some kind of bestial monster?

I've actually seen people on Tumblr asking if Jazz being a Decepticon or having an evil alter was ever canon. Well, let this be a PSA: none of this shit is fucking real! I've seen almost all the media Jazz is in, and none of this reflects how he's been portrayed, ever! Apparently people posting links and screenshots and GIFs showing what Jazz has actually been like in canon hasn't caused people to self-reflect, because this shit is still somehow super popular and even filtering doesn't screen even close to all of it! And I've seen in real-time people who are newer to the fandom getting tricked by all this racist fanon and then being drawn into it, thinking it reflects something when it doesn't! That's one of the things that bothers me most!

And then there's the other half of this, which is the immense popularity of JazzProwl. Putting aside how ridiculous it is that a ship between characters who haven't had a positive interaction in fifteen years is somehow the most popular ship in this fandom, half of all the Jazz content I see on sites like Tumblr also stars Prowl, as if Jazz isn't an arguably more prominent character with tons of unexplored stuff of his own going on. But that's the least of it. How the hell do I constantly see people uncritically post shit with this ship like Prowl trying to arrest or pull over a chaotic criminal Jazz? Or shooting at him? Or white savior, copaganda, anti-sex work garbage like Prowl as a cop rescuing prostitute/stripper Jazz from exploitative working conditions (I'm not making this shit up)? (Also, @ people who make content in which Prowl is Jazz's slave—I see you too, and you're not woke. You are still linking Black people to slavery as your first thought and then assuming it's subversive to flip the dynamic you'd expect to see. You're getting off on slavery and still including a Black-coded hero in your shit.)

Even the majority of the much milder content I see is still ridiculously OOC and plays into racist tropes in its own ways. Like how 90% of JazzProwl content shows a lazy, distractible Jazz endlessly trying to get Prowl to relax by disrupting his work or playing pranks or some shit. What media does that come from? Oh yeah, it comes from nowhere, because it's just old fanon that's been endlessly regurgitated by people who aren't realizing how making this up plays into offensive stereotypes about Black men and boys. Hey, if you people love this boring dynamic so much, maybe look at the canon relationships that are similar to it instead of forcing characters who don't fit it whatsoever into these roles without thinking about the implications!

And guess what? I've repeatedly seen literal proof that basically everyone who thinks they like this ship hasn't ever seen the characters interact in canon, too—every so often somebody on here will ask why JazzProwl is popular and ask for fans to share the canon media that made them ship it... and inevitably nobody can share anything, which is hilarious every time. Sometimes people will admit it's all fanon. In fact, the other day I saw a link to a fic from the very early 2000s that claims to be the super-influential, first JazzProwl fic ever making the rounds on Tumblr, and guess what? I looked at it and it was already super fucking racist, with Jazz being described as chaotic and not a hard worker and it had Prowl angrily shooting at him!!!

Jazz is one of my favorite characters and I'm so sick of this shit! Normally I love transformative works and new interpretations of characters, but in this case the fanon is so horrid and has always been horrid, so either try to examine Jazz in canon and portray him based on it, or be a fan of a different character! And fucking REMEMBER that this is a Black-coded hero, damn it! I saw a fic the other day that made me literally choke on my drink because it had Blaster (also a Black-coded hero) describing Jazz as a "spook!" THAT DOES NOT JUST MEAN SPY, THAT'S A RACIST, ANTI-BLACK SLUR!!! And this isn't even getting into how people in fic have Jazz talk! Jazz in all the media I've seen speaks very clearly and rarely has any kind of accent, but I constantly see white people attempting to write his dialogue phonetically in a way that feels straight out of Uncle Tom's Cabin. What the fuck is this?!

Also, petty, but the fans who make and consume this kind of content in my opinion don't then get to relentlessly criticize something like Earthspark, which has a cast and crew of people of color, by claiming it undermined its themes and is racist!

[greenishghostey]

Prompt lol

"Are you humping me?" "...maybe."

The good shit right here 👌

///

Most people would look at Eddie and assume that he was a slob. The town’s running theory about how he lived was close to that of a feral raccoon in a restaurant dumpster.

However, that could not be further from the truth. Eddie was messy - who wasn’t at the best of times. But he was never dirty. He always made sure to do the dishes, hang up laundry and vacuum when needed.

Eddie “domestic goddess” Munson. That’s what you liked to call him while he dashed around doing chores because you showed up to his trailer too early.

There was something oddly attractive, almost sexy, about watching Eddie clean. He usually changed into comfortable clothes that he didn’t mind getting wet. An old Slayer t-shirt and navy pyjama pants with one of the back pockets missing. The pyjamas hung low on his hips and shifted perfectly when he walked.

After a magnificent spaghetti and meatball dinner, Eddie insisted on doing the dishes because you were the guest. He always seemed to forget just how much time you actually spent at his.

With his back to you, Eddie hunched over the soap-filled sink. The muscles in his back moved as he scrubbed at the dried tomato sauce on the bowls. His hair was loosely tied back so he wouldn’t need to keep shaking it out of his face.

The guy was obscene. And he was doing the dishes. It amazed you just how effortlessly alluring he was. Even in the most mundane moments, there were little flecks of saccharine intimacy.

The sweetness of the situation was comforting, and calming too. But you had a much better method of expressing just how much you appreciated his domestic efforts.

“Babe, can you bring the glasses over too?” Eddie asked, gesturing behind his back at you and the dinner table. You were already silently on the prowl towards him. He wouldn’t suspect a thing.

“I’m gonna leave mine out. Need more lemonade.” You replied, keeping your voice quiet to imply distance as you closed in on your target.

“You've had two glasses already! I only got like half of one because you had to take a leak-" Eddie was just about to turn around to point a soapy finger at you, but it was too late. You had launched your attack.

Your arms snaked around his waist as you pulled yourself impossibly close to his back. You reeled your hips back and started humping Eddie like some feral animal in heat. Exaggerated moans and groans were also included - it added an element of dramatic flare that he would no doubt appreciate.

"Are you humping me?" Eddie laughed, standing still and peering over his shoulder at you. He was glad that you could be such a little weirdo with him.

"...maybe." You did your best to imitate his sex noises - groans and a wonderful amount of whimpering. "You're so wet, couldn't help it." It wasn't a lie, his hands were dripping, and some of the water had gotten on his t-shirt.

"Uh-huh, all for you," Eddie whined, trying his best to imitate your sex noises. Douchebag that he was. "You wanna feel how wet I am?" was he actually getting off on this? He couldn't be.

Eddie wasn't getting turned on - well, at least not entirely. He had about a half-boner going. The moment that you started to slow down in your thrusts against his ass was when he struck. A pile of dish soap bubbles were pressed into your chest as Eddie cackled like some mischievous gremlin thing.

"God, you bitch!" You shrieked, swatting at Eddie as he continued to basically massage your boobs. The ulterior motives were all too clear.

"Yeah, call me that again. Fuck, I'm gonna cuuuuuum." He moaned and giggled, now humping at your thigh with a firm grip around your waist - you weren't going anywhere.

[fuckyeahpedropascal]

Your Pedro Boys matrix things are fantastic and spot on! If you haven’t already done it, may I suggest the underpants (or lack there of!!) matrix?

Pedro boys underwear matrix

Sweet anon! I'm sorry this request took so long. I actually made the matrix super quickly, but didn't have time to write the commentary. I had an absolute blast making this one, thank you so much for sending it in! If you're not familiar with each underwear type (I definitely was not), here's a cheatsheet.

Debate and discussion encouraged as always!

• Masterlist •

Related posts:

Pedro boys fashion matrix

Pedro boys colour matrix

Pedro boys smoker matrix

Commando

Javier, Oberyn, Ezra, Pero

The only canonical proof we have regarding underwear for Pedro boys is that Javier goes commando, and we thank the writers of Narcos for that. For Oberyn, it's all about easy access, whereas the space/medieval gremlins obviously forgo undergarments because it means more laundry. And they never do laundry.

Briefs

Javi G, Max P, Silva, Nico

We saw how cute Javi G is in his little Speedo's, you can't tell me he doesn't wear briefs. For Max P and Nico, I could just imagine these extra bitches to strut around their home in their briefs. For Silva, he's in the saddle all day, he doesn't want anything longer rolling up as he rides.

Boxer briefs

Frankie, young Joel, Jack, Marcus P

I'm biased here because I prefer boxer briefs on men, and all these boys give me major boxer briefs vibes. Young Joel in particular, just imagine him wearing them with the inside out tshirt when he stumbles out of bed on a morning Sarah's away to visit her grandparents 🫠

Boxers

Dieter, Max L, The Thief, Dave

Dieter is our comfort king, and you know he wears loose boxers under his bathrobe. @imaswellkid made the very valid point that Max L wears pinstripes boxers, so does Dave probably - very dad of them. The Thief definitely wears boxers under a pure silk kimono when he prowls about his mansion.

Midway briefs

Din, older Joel, Marcus M, Tim

Our modest tin can man would probably wear long johns under his flight suit if he could, but since it's not an option, let's say he wears midway briefs. Older Joel is probably (misguidedly) a bit insecure about his dad bod and probably wants some extra support with the extra length on the midway briefs. Whereas for Marcus M and Tim, I don't know why, but I'm imagining them walking around in midway briefs with their respective tac vest and shoulder holsters and I'm feeling pretty good about myself right about now 🫠

[moonlight-tmd]

AIGHT, INFO DUMP TIME-

This is a list of ideas/headcanons of the tfa fandom that crossed my mind, piled into one giant mess. Enjoy.

those are things that i consider canon in my works. (outside of AUs)

PLEASE READ- THE LIST KEEPS BEING UPDATED.

1. Bee has a golden voice when singing, he’s anxious about it tho. [the whole headcanon explained] After some time and events this scenario happens and Bee gets more comfortable around others.

2. Bee is basically a stuntman when skating. Casual or on battlefield, his actions are purely impulsive. Sometimes he’s lucky and pulls off that sick move... sometimes he ends up in medbay for many long hours. Here’s an example.

3. Bee is a good actor, he can lie on the spot and get away with it... most of the time. He’s also good at hiding his emotions. Fake it till you make it... or at least before Prowl comes knocking at your door.

4. Bee has 3 modes; Chaotic/Feral Gremlin, Kind Child and on rare occasion; Lazy Ferret. When he dates someone, there comes a 4th one; Lovestruck Idiot.

5. Bee is the early bird and wakes up way before the rest of the Autobots. He’s made a little routine of making the morning oil for the rest of the team. It’s the only thing he can “cook” really.

6. Sari keeps the weird healing powers the key had when she upgrades herself. Ratchet helps her figure it out and teaches her cybertronian first aid.

7. Rachet knows human curses and will use them when things are going down.

8. Sari and Bee are the young sibblings™. Prowl plays the role of the babysitter, keeping those two out of trouble.

9. Bee often vents to Prowl about topics he wouldn’t talk about with anyone. They have an unspoken agreement to never do anything to mess with the other when it comes to these meetings.

10. Prowl is accidentally creepy, he will eavesdrop or spy on someone unintentionally. He doesn’t mean it, but his curiosity can get the best of him sometimes. Here’s a list of things he eavesdropped so far.

11. Optimus is a kindsparked leader, he’ll think of the person’s wellbeing first instead of “is this okay with the law?”

12. Bulkhead sometimes helps the architects with building stuff, he likes the art aspect and the job is easy cuz he can carry like few tons of materials at once.

13. Random!Blitz will eat various things that are definitelly not meant to be eaten. Glow sticks, scraps, paint and even some organic things. He also chews on anything that he find appealing. Somehow, he has yet to end up in medbay for doing that.

14. Blitzwing likes to sculpt, he’ll carve in wood, stone, ice and metal.

15. Bee likes to set up harmless traps to mess with Prowl, his time repairing space bridges taught him how to construct things. He’s quite crafty. Unfortunatelly, Prowl still remmebers how to pull a prank in return. Here’s one of them.

16. There’s 2 versions of Megatron: cold and sadistic villain(canon) or scary but thoughful “father”(Cons Are Good AU)

17. Longarm(Shockwave) actually kinda likes Bee. The bot is optimistic, kind and funny. He likes to hang out with the scout and have some fun, but other than that he focuses on his duties as a traitor Prime.

18. Lugnut is Lugnut, he’s basically in love with Megs. Megs wants nothing to do with him except for work.

19. There’s 2 versions of Decepticons; they either want to to take over Cybertron(canon) or want equal rights and fix whatever the council has fucked up. (Cons Are Good AU)

20. Autobots and Decepticons are not separate species of transformers like i often see. They just have different builds and codings. A transformer who’s not aligned with any of the factions doesn’t have any specific behavior attached, it all depends on what they learn as a sparkling. If they choose a faction, an additional coding is added to their system which might alter their behavior slightly.

21. Since time units are very confusing in the fandom i decided to settle on this: Nanoklik (1 second), Klik (1 minute), Joor (1 hour), (Solar/Lunar)Cycle (day/night), Decacycle (week), Orbital Cycle (month), Stellar cycle (1 year). Then it all goes like normal; decades, centuries, millennia. Sometimes i will use other transformer time terms when i don’t know what else to use.

22. Ratchet, despite being a medic, dismissed his own small damages. He says he will take tare of them later but never does, which later comes back as a bigger problem. Like a trembling wheel, dimmed light or glitched comm piece. He’s learned to go fix himself when reminded about them or look for Sari.

23. Prowl has a bad habit of nightly snacking, he meditates all day long and sometimes forgets to refuel. Bad habit but he’s not really keen on stopping.

24. Shockwave/Longarm is the tech folk, the one who manages files and all, but he’s also somewhat of a medic. He knows how to patch system errors/viruses as well as fix some external damages.

25. Megatron actually remembers Optimus’ name, he just chooses to avoid using it because he has a grudge agaist the Prime for kinda offlining him.

26. Prowl doesn’t die in my timelines/AUs. Nor does Blurr. Nobody does(permanently). I just can’t let them.

27. Claws and sharp dentae are a basic upgrade you get when becoming Decepticon. Based on the frame type, there are few exceptions, example: Blitzwing has both sharp teeth and claws, but Lugnut has only sharp teeth cuz his servos are not compatible with the claws. Same with Shockwave but he's only got claws.

28. Bee was raised in the orphanage, he never brought it up to anyone. The only one to know might be the one he’d date. [See this post but exclude the adoption part]

29. Since Shockwave has 2 forms, he has something similar to Blitzwing’s multiple personalities thing- it’s not that intense, but there is a weird switch in his mind that he can activate on command. He is more laid back and cheery when he’s Longarm. When he’s Shockwave he’s very calm and focused- It’s his peak performance form, so to say. A weird thing that happens with Longarm is that he’ll be focused and calm with everyone but the second he, Bee and Bulkhead are alone- it’s time for wild fun.

30. Everyone thinks Random is the cannibal. He’s not, Icy is the one enjoying devouring a fellow mech. He keeps quiet about it, Random is just hyping it up like he usually does with everything.

31. Blackarachnia may be a mad scientist but she would help someone out if they begged her enough. She’d do everything to fix a bot- but then use them for her own goals. Every “transaction” you make with her will have the consequences... well, unless she’s “feeling generous”- which is like a miracle and you’ve probably made her feel bad if she does this.

32. Bumblebee loves to dress up. He loves human clothes, he loves cosmetic upgrades, he liked the temporary paint that is make up. He’ll never admit or show it though. He feels like if he does, he’s gonna be judged and everyone’s gonna stop liking him. Dressing up makes him feel like he’s truly pretty and amazing. He doesn’t want that feeling crushed if others find it weird and tell him to stop. Idk if “Drag Queen” is the correct term for this but he defo likes dresses and painted details like make up.

33. Bee dresses up for Halloween with Sari. Despite what i said in the previous point, he allows himself to dress up in cool costumes- usually the classics like a vampire or ghost. Never anything cute tho- those costumes are saved for his time alone. One time he made himself look like the haunted black taxi from that one movie- Optimus was on patrol and heard about some shady car scaring people so he went to check it out. Poor Bee tried to scare him too and got send to medbay. Optimus apologized for two days after that incident.

34. Bee has a job that earns him human money- in some weird chain of events he met a guy with a shop that sells old and damaged stuff. He offered to pay Bee money to bring him old stuff from garbage yards/trash stations that may be restored and sold. So now he has a fun and productive way of earning money to buy new games. He goes treasure hunting at least once a week.

35. Bee is really flexible and can basically squeeze anywhere he desires. No one knows how he does it and he constantly gets stuck in weird places. You wouldn’t think he’d fit into that heavy duty airvent, but alas, he’s there waiting for help. 

36. Bumblebee and Prowl are almost the same height; motorbikes are small, even when compared to tiny cars. Prowl is only few inches taller than Bee. He is very thin in build, Bee is more bulky and wide. Bee is also physically stronger than Prowl- Prowl is always using tactics and momentum and physics and such to gain advantage over stronger enemies.

37. Bee is a natural climber- being the short bot, it’s obvious he has to climb to reach that shelf. His servos have rough pads on them to help him stick to sufaces better. It’s especially effective with earth’s buildings since they’re made of rough concrete.

38. Bee naps in riduculous places, he’s like a ferret. He’ll squeeze or climb into places and sometimes get stuck there so others have to get him out. His favorite places to nap are Bulkheads subspace and under his berth.

39. Bee will learn anything about any game just to win. He has a self-claimed title “Game King”. One time he found out about Prowl liking chess- he spend the next few cycles on research and perfecting his skill with online chess. The “Game King” title has been made valid by everyone after Prowl got obliterated in chess by Bee.

40. Prowl has to temporarily move out of his room in winter because there is no roof. He has a back-up room for when the snow starts piling up and he can’t recharge in it. He also has to recharge in the back-up room when there is a heavy downpour and his room floods.

41. Each Team Prime member has their own love language/way fo showing affection/care. [Here i listed them]

42. At some point in the story, Bee and Bulkhead would become Amicas. Not Conjunxes(spouses)- they are Amicas(long-term best friend). [this and this]

43. I imagine Bumblebee would be a great parent- sure he’s reckless most of the time but when it comes to Sparklings- something in his mind switches and he goes full ‘Mama Bear mode’. [exaples: this and this]

44. Optimus is a great cook, he especially loves to bake. Bee is into mixology- he makes morning oil for everyone after all. Prowl cooks with organic ingredients for Sari, he wants her to eat more healthy so he takes it upon himself to make sure she does. [anker post]

45. Bee loves racing, in AU or not. He’ll go up to anyone and challange them to a race. The winner gets the respect of being faster. Blitzwing is Bee’s go-to race rival, they have fun together and mess around on some occasion. [anker post]

46. Bee got crayons from Bulkhead. Sometimes he will draw things- he drew a picture for their first christmas and everyone loves it, it’s hanging in the main room now.

47. Here you have Halloween and Christmas traditions with the group cuz i’m too lazy to write an entire point for it.

48. IMPORTANT FOR ALL NSFW WORKS: Interfacing and Sparklings. My version is different from the ususal sexual spike/valve thing. C’mon they’re ALIENS. I have it all written out in this post.

49: Bumblebee, Sari and Bulkhead are The Gamer Trio. They always play multiplayer games together when they’re not busy. Sometimes Prowl joins them for specific games. [anker post]

50. Team Prime + Sari have preffered food flavors n such. [anker post]

51. Team Prime + Sari having trouble sleeping/recharging and doing stuff instead of that. Nightly habits list. [anker post]

52. Bee has ADHD, you can’t convince me otherwise. He has also been diagnosed with depression later on. Oh, also Prowl is on autism spectrum. Dw, they take meds for that. [adhd+autism post here, Bee having depression here]

53. Bee talks in his sleep. It’s easy to tell if he’s having a nightmare or not. He’s just murmuring what is happening in his dream, not every night but surprisingly often. Funny enough you could have a conversation with him like this. [anker post]

54. Ratchet volunteers as medical assistance in Detroit. The messed up USA healthcare system is beyond what Cybertron had.

55. Bee goes mute when he’s feeling sad/dealing with trauma and/or overwhelmed by a situation. He uses ASL to communicate when that happens. [anker post]

56. There are differenced between Seeker and Grounder customs and behaviors. [anker post]

57. Different frame types have classification and subclassification. [anker post]

if there’s more i come up with, i will update this post. thank you for reading this text wall.

[magicalbats]

whoa wise incest 😳 ive been on the prowl for this stuff.. i'm just curious if you're gonna do it with belle or as self insert as their 3rd sibling, but either way i'm so excited for what you have coming up with zzz and natlan omg

I know we’re all devious little gremlins here but I actually wasn’t expecting to get so much feedback on the Wise thing! The various MC’s don’t typically generate too much thirst (understandably) so I’ve been pleasantly surprised tbh.

To answer your question though, I kind of defaulted to just replacing Belle since that’s my go to answer for everything lol … but a surprise third sibling is actually a very interesting prospect, anon. 🤔 And it opens the door for so many nasty possibilities too! With an older, more experienced self insert we can have her teaching him the ropes and Wise being a shameless little siscon about it. With a brocon younger sibling we could have him grudgingly giving in to their pestering advances even while he complains about it. And ofc we’re not going to discredit the angle of Wise just being a huge pervert in secret who sneaks into his sisters room to sniff her used panties while she’s out 🤭

I haven’t played the game myself but I’ve seen the fanart enough to be reminded of that Andy and Leyley game that had everyone’s panties in a twist last (?) year haha

Once I finish this comm ooooh Wise is in for it

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

The Baptist and the Blade

This one’s for you @roofgeese! Thank you for asking me to write some more John smut! I can never get enough of that little murder gremlin.

I found a prompt that I thought fit John perfectly - “Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.” 

Lemons ahoy!! 18+ NSFW, Minors DNI

Please forgive any typos or grammatical errors :)

Warnings: minor bloodplay, p in v intercourse, M!receiving oral, lots of religious imagery, two morally reprehensible people going at it

Words: 2515

Pairing: John Seed x Female Deputy

She stood in the thick boundary of trees watching him, silently, tracking his every movement. How proudly he stood on the shore watching his newest batch of sinners be baptized into the loving embrace of the cult. She waited for her moment to strike, when he was all alone. Her prey. 

“We must wash away our past. We must expose our sins. We must atone, for only then may we stand in the light of God and walk through his Gate unto Eden.”

The newest recruits were dragged up from the water into the mayonnaise white vans, his men following close behind, and as the headlights faded off into the distance she could finally make her move. Her boot snapped the thin twigs that scattered the ground and he snapped around to face her, bright blue eyes glued onto her in the dark.

“Deputy, out for a stroll? He snapped the bible in his hands closed. "It is a lovely night.” Placing it down on the large boulder behind him. 

“Coming back to the scene of the crime.”

His eyes trailed up and down her, “What would your resistance think if they found us out here together? Alone.” He clasped his hands behind his back, tapping the toe of his boot against the stones below.

“You seem to have no problem radioing me on a public channel so I'm sure most of them wouldn't be too surprised actually. Hell, I’ve had Sharky and Adelaide telling me for days that we should just get this over with.”

“Get what over with?” He prodded her to continue, teasing her with the flick of his eyebrow.

“You’re really gonna make me say it?” Her scowl deepened as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Yes.” He grinned from ear to ear like the Cheshire cat. 

She sighed heavily, “They think we should fuck.”

His eyes seemed to sparkle with her use of such crass profanity. This wasn't love, this wasn't sentiment, this was a promiscuous need, a desire to be fulfilled. Base and brutal, like an animal in heat, she was reaching out to the suitable male available to her.

“Would you agree with that sentiment?” He inched in closer towards her, his shoes crunching through the gravel beach, as his hips swayed like a prowling tomcat. 

“Would you?”

“I asked first.” He leaned in towards her, crystalline eyes made dark with his own libidinous desire. 

She rubbed at the back of her neck, feeling like an open wound, a dark cavernous hole only he seemed to be able to see the bottom of. “I think we both know where I stand on that.”

He reached out and ran his thumb against her lip. “So you enjoyed our kiss then?” Pride swelling in his chest. 

“You only did it to fuck with Joey.” Her eyes stared into his, staring him down. “I’m well aware.”

He placed his hand to his chest, rubbing his long fingers against his bare skin. “On the contrary, Deputy. I did it because of you. Your sins, I know them well, I have shared in them. If there’s one person who could ever truly understand you, it’s me.”

“What happened to wanting to cleanse me of my sins?”

“That will come in time.” He smiled, so sure of himself, so sure that she would see sense - the way Joseph had promised. 

She stepped forward, invading his personal space, if he even had a notion about what that was. They stood nose to nose, eye to eye, toe to toe. She’d never give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much she enjoyed staring at him - at his stupidly pretty face. 

“How would we go about doing that?”

His eyes fell to her chest, his hand brushing away the loose waves that sat at her shoulders, having fallen loose from her braid. “I’d need to mark you first, but you ran before I could.” 

Pulling off her jacket and her flannel, she tossed them onto the rocky beach. Wearing only a white tank top, no bra, her nipples were hard with the cold September air. 

His focus remained solely on the cleavage of her firm breasts. He licked his lips as his palm spread against her skin. His voice dropped lower in his throat, “Right here. Near your heart, for all to see, the badge of honor.”

“You mean like yours?” She slid her fingers in past the collar of his shirt, half unbuttoned already, running her fingertips against the scar tissue left behind. 

“Yes.”

His heart raced under his ribs, blood pumping, rushing through his veins, flooding his system. She could feel it drum against her fingertips, she could taste his adrenaline perfuming the space between them. Dragging her tongue across her teeth, her breath hitched in her throat. “And then would you cut it out of me, staple it up like the others?”

“No, I wouldn’t want to ruin such a -” he cleared his throat and looked back up at her. Her pale stare was deadly, fed by blood lust. She looked at him carnally, like he was a meal and she was starving. 

“Then what?” her voice was low, husky, a whisper on the night air. 

“Then I'd wash you, purify your soul.”

“Out there?” She nodded in the direction of the water, lapping feet away from them.

He nodded as she began to lean down and untie her boots, her mouth was so close…God help him. She kicked them away from her and unbuttoned her jeans, unzipping the fly, sliding them down her thighs. Her coiled snake tattoo on her leg bared its fangs for him, and her scars that scattered her flesh shone white in the moonlight. 

The air was cold and biting, a crisp autumn night, and she was wearing barely anything at all. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into her embrace, kissing him as his hands slid over her muscular thighs and ass, grabbing at her, fingers dragging over her bare skin. He moaned against her mouth as his hands trailed against her. 

Sliding up her hips, his fingers glanced up her tank top, touching the first hint of scarred tissue. She groaned and bit his lip until she tasted pennies in her mouth, and then felt his cock pressing against her - rock hard with the taste of pain. She stepped back, trying to pull away, but he grabbed at her harder, dragging her back towards him, he wasn’t letting her go so easily this time. His fingers dug into her, marking her skin with crescents and bruises. 

“Don’t tease me, Kathleen.” He rasped. 

“Don’t fucking call me Kathleen.”

He smirked, licking his lips, blood on his tongue. “What are you trying to hide from me?”

“You won’t find that out until I say yes.”

“Ka - Kit…” He smiled again, slipping back into his smooth demeanor and not the corrupt believer he truly was. “Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.”

“I don’t give in that easy, you know that.” She slid her hands down his arms, grabbing him by the wrists and pulling him off of her, eliciting a groan from him with the strength she used against him.

She walked backwards towards the edge of the water, the icy cold waves biting at her heels as they lapped against her skin. She waded in until she was knee deep, sliding her panties down, she threw them back up to the shore. The balled up material landed at his feet. 

“Coming to join me, Baptist?”

He curled his hands into fists, relaxing and flexing several times before walking towards the waters edge. Trying so hard to maintain some sliver of control, an ounce of respect. 

She shivered in the water, her lips turning purple, but she didn't care, she liked the sting and seeing the hunger in his eyes made her forget about the cold. 

“Another sin to add to your skin.”

“Where would you mark me with that one?” She grabbed his hand and slid it over the flat of her stomach, landing at the curve of her pelvic bone. “Here?”

A hiss escaped between his teeth as she took his hand and slipped it between her thighs. The dark waters acting like a mirror below, he could see the reflection of his fingers running over her soft, wet lips. 

“You said the greatest gift we have is to give…and you like to fill -”

His mouth crashed against hers, making her stumble back in the water, her hand curving up around his neck, fingers knotting into his hair, pulling on his strands. He pressed his thumb to her clit, rubbing rough, hurried circles against it. “I’m going to have you saying yes by the time I'm done.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

He slid his two fingers up into her cunt, while still focusing his attention on her clit, gliding in and out of her. The heat spread from his fingers up her spine like a wildfire. He was well-practiced, knew how to use speed and force to coerce her to speak, even if it was nothing more than a string of nonsense and curses. Her body shuddered, shivers turning to sparks and flashes of lightning as if the Lord above was working through the Baptist. His mouth dragged against her cheek, his hand wrapped up in her hair, tugging her head back. 

“Which would you prefer?”

“Whichever I deserve.”

His mouth wrapped around her neck, sucking on her skin, dotting her with bruises. She whined against him. He brought his mouth down on her shoulder and bit, hard enough to draw blood. He smiled up at her and licked her blood from his teeth, staining them pink. Tasting the sweet ambrosia that fueled her, iron and copper spilling down his throat. A blood pact between two debauched creatures. 

He pulled his fingers from her, dragging his tongue against them, keeping his eyes affixed on her, watching the flush float up her skin from her chest to her cheeks and up to the tips of her ears - all nearly as red as her hair. Sucking his fingers clean, he closed his eyes and forced himself to memorize her taste. 

“Are you seeking penance, Deputy? Is your guilt finally weighing down upon you?”

“I don’t feel so guilty anymore.”

He scoffed, “Such a sinner.”

“Maybe.” She dropped to her knees, water now around her waist. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, doe-eyed, innocent. 

He pressed his hand to her face, cupping her cheek, her teeth chattering under his touch. His adam’s apple bobbed at the sight of her before him. Supplication.

Her fingers were growing numb from the cold, but she still managed to unbuckle his belt and pull the fly down his jeans without fumbling. Her eyes went wide at the sight before her, what he lacked in height he certainly made up for in other areas. 

He smirked at her reaction, she was feeding into another one of his sins, he’d pray on it another time. For now he was much too busy doing God’s work, helping her to reach atonement. 

She looked up at him, desperate eyes pleading for forgiveness, opening her mouth to accept his sacrament. Her lips wrapped around the head, bobbing up and down along his length, inviting the host inside of her, taking him in as deep as she could go. 

The warmth of her mouth embraced him, sheltering from the bite of the autumn cold outside. Her eyes never left him, watching him with the ferocity of a predator. But in this moment he held the leash, he was her salvation, her chance to be allowed access to Eden.

Her saliva pooled at the base of his cock, dripping down into the dark waters of the lake that surrounded them. Holy water. She fought to swallow, struggled to breathe as she got caught up in her own rhythm, taking him in and out, her jaw growing sore, but she couldn’t stop, not yet. 

He pulled her mouth away, he didn't want to finish, not like that. She had offered him her holes to fill and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to enter her gates. He pressed her against him, her wet skin spreading its dampness onto his clothing, her body vibrating against him. She knew what he wanted and without a word of direction she slid her leg up the outside of his, wrapping it around him. His cock pressed against her slit. Rocking her hips, she began to grind against him, spreading her slick along the length. Thrusting up into her, he filled her. Her velvet walls tightened against him, squeezing. 

She bit her lip and stifled the moan that threatened to escape her, pressing her forehead against his. Her weight supported by him, he fucked up into her, hips snapping forward and back, violent and stabbing, the same unbridled madness he used when wielding a knife and she was at his mercy. She cried out into the night, a scream building in her throat. 

“Say it, Kit. Just say it.” He spoke breathlessly. “Say it for me.”

Her nails dragged down his sides, leaving long red scratches in her wake. He groaned and hissed, his hair falling free from its normally coiffed style, more the feral being she knew he was underneath. Grabbing at his thin waist, burning his skin as her fingers squeezed. She was getting so close now. So close and she couldn’t hide, couldn't pretend, not with him. 

“YES!”

He kissed her hard, forcefully, full of command. His thrusts were deeper, his pace slowing. He came inside her, tainting her, moaning a hymn against her mouth. 

Her head fell back as their mouths parted, panting up into the night’s sky. A million stars, the lights of angels twinkling above. Her muscles spasmed and the strength to hold her leg up around him gave way. She could have fallen back into the water if she didn't think he might drown her. 

He kept her upright, tight to his body. One and the same, they were connected,  entwined. 

“This can never happen again…”

“Regret, already?” He looked at her like he could read her mind. Like he knew it was all a lie. She lived so many, she could hardly separate the truth from them anymore, but he could always see through them. See her for what lay beneath her rotting layers. 

She pushed him off of her and stormed back up to the shoreline, picking up her clothes and her boots, heading back to the treeline as if what had just occurred between them didn’t happen at all. 

“Kit, you have no reason to be afraid,” he called up to her, “We love you and we will take you.”

She didn’t spare another second to look back, running into the woods, the branches of trees scratching at her skin, leaves whipping against her. Punishment. It was what she deserved for what she had just done. 

[sonicasura]

Two Paths Of A Transformation: Transformers Series

I decided to add this list of Transformers Series I seen and what you might see if I choose one interpretation for either Trollhunters/Transformers scenario.

Here is the list in general

Transformers Cybertron

Bayverse except The Last Knight (excluded but some characters from it might show up in Reboot)

Reboot Movieverse (No spoilers for RotB only characters mentioned are from the trailer i.e Mirage and Arcee)

Transformers Prime

Transformers Robots In Disguise 2015 (merge with Prime as there'll be major changes to the former like Older Bumblebee and both character groups interacting.)

Transformers Animated (Excluded from My Motorcycle Is A Robot since it's a fresh start for Prowl)

Now that's done. Here we go! This is what you would most likely expect between these two scenarios and the respective Transformers iteration if chosen.

Troll or More

Transformers Cybertron: Post EP 2

Autobot Discoverer: Jetfire

The Autobot was looking for clues about the Omega Lock and heard that Arcadia Oaks will be a best place to look. Jetfire didn't expect an actual war aftermath between peculiar stone creatures, humans nor the strange beast like Cybertronian. There goes hiding in plain sight.

Congrats Optimus Prime! You just became a cool dad to four more human teenagers, one teenage Cybertronian, one wizard, two Akiridions, one dragon familiar, two trolls and one plant fairy demigod. A larger audience for thy dad jokes!

Can I say Autobots in Trollmarket? Let's be real that Bud would honestly want to at least have a second base with Arcadia being a good hub for public relations as the main reason. Real one is because he wants to know more about magic.

Humans on the battlefield! I repeat humans on the battlefield! Claire just teleported Thundecracker into a cliff! Toby whacked Starscream with a gravity hammer! Where did Steve and Eli get those cannons?! Douxie clearly earned his name as he just hit Megatron with a magic guitar!

Jim is precious and he snares Jungle Planet with the curiosity of a lost Sparkling in seconds. Even when he rams Scourge for being mean to Lori. He's got 'Adopt Me' written on his forehead.

Strickler and Optimus being the responsible dads with huge responsibilities. (Both are intimidated by Barbara too.) Pirate jokes ahoy as Strickler tends to hang out on Optimus' shoulder like a parrot alongside their pirate captain.

Movieverse: Post Bumblebee

Autobot Discoverer: Mirage

Was just passing through and Arcadia Oaks being a pit stop. Optimus knew the moment Mirage mentioned running into a war aftermath that it's going to be a LONG DAY. The strange stone organics and the Cybertronian amongst them solidify it.

Tired dad Optimus Prime acquires 12 more kids with only one being a Cybertronian. All of them are mischievous gremlins and have either weaponry or powers. Primus help him.

Bumblebee is FINALLY not the youngest Autobot of the group anymore! He called dibs on big brother in an instant much to Mirage's dismay. Jim's just confused about why they're bickering and a bit too hungry to care.

Arcee has now joined the kickass girl's group. She often hangs out at Tarron's place and they talk about all kinds of stuff together. It is very refreshing especially when the girls prank the boys.

Optimus has an aneurysm the moment the kids run into the battlefield. Mirage thinks it's cool as he, Toby and Krel try out a new combo. Bumblebee is shooting from atop Jim's back. Arcee doesn't help either as she gets Douxie closer to fire off a spell.

Truck dad goes to Trollhunter dad for advice as the other two troll dads are enablers to the kids' dumb antics. Strickler just pats a shellshocked Optimus on the back while Barbara regains order in seconds.

Mirage decides Arcadia Oaks is the coolest place to hide out at. Drive Thru Movie theaters are so much more fun when you don't have to go incognito. Even if the trolls are snack thieves.

Transformers Prime/Robots In Disguise 2015: Post Darkness Rising/Trust Exercises

Autobot Discoverer: Ratchet

He rarely goes on missions, especially solo ones as someone has to maintain the space bridge. Sadly Ratchet is the only expert when it comes to strange Energon signals. He knew he shouldn't have left the base upon the now inactive warzone with the humans, stone creatures and the lone teenage Cybertronian.

Ratchet dumps 12 kids for Optimus to be an awkward dad for as he ain't herding them alone. Man is stunned by the betrayal and is so confused. He drags down Bumblebee with him since the bot got his new voice box.

You can bet your ass every Autobot had an aneurysm when the human kids ran into the battlefield. They tend to forget about the superpowers, magic and high tech weapons. It doesn't do much to ease the panic.

Secret base number 3 in Arcadia Oaks specifically connected to Trollmarket. Ratchet has to put his tools under lock and key as the trolls will eat em. At least he can study this 'Primordial Heartstone' in peace.

Optimus being so awkward especially since Jim is apparently clingy when it comes to the Prime. Why does this youngling keep trying to ram him or butt his horns against him? Blinky's answer about this being standard troll behavior for young trolls, well Jim specifically, confuses him more.

The kids and less mature Autobots definitely teach each other swears in respective languages much to Bumblebee's horror. It's quite infectious as Ratchet blurts out a Trollish swear then gasps in horror. Sidesweep and Miko thinks its hilarious.

Strickler has to help the poor Dadbots in reigning the kids. Trollhunter duties do include establishing the peace. Even if it means Barbara has to step in cause Sidesweep, Miko and Toby together are terrors.

Animated: Post Home Is Where The Spark Is

Autobot Discoverer: Bumblebee

Ratchet wanted Bee to inspect a strange minecart that had been uncovered below the base. The little bot didn't expect it be a speedy trip to California. Nor the aftermath with humans, strange stone creatures and a very odd bot.

Ratchet tries not to have a stroke thanks to the 12 new kids involved in their mission. Optimus awkwardly uses his inspirational dad skills to keep some semblance of peace. It works half the time.

Bumblebee is happy he isn't the youngest Autobot anymore but is annoyed that he's still the shortest. How come the new kid matches Bulkhead in size already and is still growing?! Toby just pats him on the back as consolation.

Prowl and Nari are nature siblings. They got a homemade garden growing near base alongside one for meditation purposes. AAARRRGGHH is often confused for a mossy rock though.

Optimus Prime is happy that someone likes hearing his speeches as Jim and Draal are curious. Everyone jokes he can now add Dadbot to his personal title. He prefers the term Dadimus.

Probably the least concerned about humans on the battlefield as they can properly defend themselves. None of the bots let them stray too far though. Even if it's funny when Starscream gets whacked in the face with a guitar and hammer.

Sari loves not being the only human in the group. Although Strickler makes sure she doesn't get into serious Troll business once the bots decide to have a second base in Arcadia. Barbara is a life saver for Ratchet when it comes to treating human youths.

My Motorcycle Is A Robot

Transformers Cybertron: Post Episode Landmine

Autobot Discoverer: Landmine

Optimus figured he should give his comrade some freedom would keep him from going stir crazy as he recovers. Why not check out California with Cody? Neither of them expected to discover a now inactive warzone nor the lone bot amongst humans and strange stone beings.

Congrats on the 13 new kids Optimus Prime. Although it seems Prowl is less than enthusiastic to talk with the dad pun machine. Maybe something happened in the past?

"How To Accommodate A Half Troll In Your Secret Base, Written By An Autobot". Red Alert learns that Jim should never forget his special Sunlight Protection necklace as sunstains are difficult to tend to. Disgust Against Merlin increases. P.S Lock up any important tools or they might get eaten by a hungry half troll.

Autobots try to bond with the ninjabot albeit with varying success. Landmine has the most success while poor Optimus needs Draal and Jim to help him even talk to Prowl. It's gonna take awhile...

Teenagers being absolute terrors on the battlefield much to the Decepticons sudden horror. You know shit is about to hit the fan when Starscream gets clocked by a crystal hammer then knocked over by a half troll teen. Prowl is the only Autobot proud with the chaos.

Barbara being an absolute terror as she represents the Trolls when meeting planet leaders. Scourge gets throttled by a half Troll mother into next week much to Override's amusement. Better by on your best behavior in Arcadia should ya visit!

Beast Cyber Planet Key and Jim? Unpredictable combination of monstrous proportions. Jim learns how to be a beast alongside Leo Breaker. Prowl gets dogpiled later as the poor former human misses his brother.

Movieverse: Post Bumblebee

Autobot Discoverer: Optimus Prime

He had picked up an unknown distress signal linked to his comm. system. The source being somewhere in Arcadia Oaks, California. Optimus never thought it to be a horrific aftermath of a war between humans, strange stone entities and the lone Autobot who looks at him like a ghost.

Optimus becomes an even more tired dad to 13 kids with one avoiding him and Bumblebee like the plague. At least he has some help in the form of the human 'Trollhunter' turned half troll. Primus give him more assistance.

Young Autobots are curious about how it's like to have two non-Cybertronian siblings and be adopted by a former human. Prowl just stares before pointing at his two trollish siblings cross horns as they spar while Barbara fell asleep on some tires from exhaustion. "...Guess this is how bossman feels everyday."

Is it bad to be half concerned about how feral these teenagers are on the battlefield? Prowl ain't holding them back nor is Barbara. Optimus knew he needs a drink later when Toby began to FLY with his hammer.

Secret weapon to handling young Autobots is a half troll mother. It is quite a sight to see a small woman drag a giant robot by his servos after he got into a police chase. Even more impressive with the scolding that follows.

Bee and Optimus try to reach out to Prowl. Ninjabot closes up until his two siblings give him a shove. Reluctant bonding time with heartache ahoy!

Arcadia Oaks proves to be very whacky after they welcome the refugee Autobots. Laying low is a bit difficult when a goblin hungrily stares at your tires. Good thing there are places they can hide out that isn't the street.

Transformers Prime/Robots In Disguise 2015: Post Darkness Rising/Trust Exercises

Autobot Discoverer: Arcee

She had been investigating a possible Energon Mine when a signal reached her. Arcee obviously alerted command before she went to check it out. The war aftermath between humans and strange stone beings were not what Arcee expected. Neither was the bot amongst them.

13 kids gets adopted and split between Ratchet, Bumblebee, then finally Optimus. Prowl doesn't seem to want anything to do with the three Autobots or Bulkhead though. Not a great start.

Grimlock wanting to roughhouse with Prowl's trollish siblings? Absolutely! It's way more fun when they can be wild just like this Dinobot! Barbara makes sure the boys don't go too far though troll mom might step in for a turn.

Most concerned about humans not only being on the battlefield but Prowl is all for it! Becomes clear that the 'War For Arcadia' went much deeper than they thought. At least there is some supervision...

"How To Treat Sunstains, Written By A Tired Autobot". Ratchet is just lucky that it's similar to dealing with metal burns. Although Miko is getting scolded later as Jim gets treated. At least he doesn't try to run like some patients.

Blinky, Eli and Fixit are disastrous conspiracy nuts that need to be watched at all time. Doesn't help when Krel, Sideswipe or Miko likes to enable them for even extra chaos. Prowl is quick to call Barbara before they set a house on fire.

Team Unknown Heartache tries to befriend the ninjabot. Half troll mom intervenes before Prowl has a mental breakdown. Trauma is very hard to recover from so it's best to take one step at a time.

And that's it! Until next time folks, I'll see you back in Arcadia. For now Transform and Roll Out!

[we-c0uld-be-kings]

Suni with a Chance

Name: Suni (She/Her)

Race: Tiefling

Class: Wizard (Pact Wizard)

Level: 2

Picking up where we left off with Suni, after doing Svetlana's side quest, I decided to have her talk with Harrim so that she can better understand him. To summarize his whole deal, Harrim comes from a Dwarven city called Larrad, a holy city as they're exceptionally devoted to Torag and his Dwarven pantheon. However, Harrim had the strange capability to simply not make shit. Because of this, Harrim spiraled into a depression and left his home before finding a small cult to Groetus, Harbinger of the End Times. In the Moon gods embrace, Harrim has turned his back on Torag, just as Torag, supposedly, turned his back on him.

Suni isn't too crazy about Harrim and his devotion to Groetus, especially since worship to him could mean eventual insanity. Suni also worked up the courage to speak with Amiri due to her persistence with Tuskgutter. It is then that Suni learns about the Realm of the Mammoth Lords and Amiri's tribe, the Six Bears. How Amiri didn't wish to be a simple housewife and desired to fight like the men of her tribe. Suni cannot relate to Amiri much since she lived in a society that was a bit more free thinking and open to women being in positions of power. And her travels have not led her to reach the far north where the Mammoth Lords would be found.

But the discovery that Amiri fought a Frost Giant or two to obtain a giant bastard sword still puts her at awe.

With Jhod at the Trading Post, Suni decided to see what his whole deal was. Overall, he originated from Galt, a country filled with strife and revolution that, for a Erastilian, disturbs the peace that a village provides. Jhod tried to keep the sanctity of his village, but then he "slipped up." There were werewolves prowling the area that kept terrorizing the residents. When a sus-lookin guy came strolling into the tavern of the village, Jhod thought that the man was a werewolf himself. But he wasn't.

Now, typically with these kinds of stories, we learn that the man was a peasant who just looked weird or some sob story where the guy was innocent of any crime. Not fully the case here. The man was a bandit sent to spy on the local gangs of the village, and while that still provided some sort of good (gang violence is never a good thing), he was still innocent of being a werewolf.

After that, Jhod believed that Erastil was upset with him. He doesn't go into why he believes Erastil was upset with him, but the fact that he got hopeful from simply hearing from his god again might indicate that Erastil left him on read for a while.

During the conversation, Suni and Jhod got into a small dispute about the differences between cities and villages. Which, ultimately, Suni decided to agree-to-disagree as she lived and breathed in a city. And while she has seen the corruption that a city harbors, she doesn't believe that somehow a small town or village is somehow better.

After talking with the homies, we moved on back to journey through the Stolen Lands. Now, initially, I was going to try and clear out Old Sycamore and get rid of Tartuccio, but that mf Davik kept keeping Suni up goddamn it! I don't know if this is official in the game, but every time Suni went to sleep, he would just keep her ass up, so I had to march my ass over to him and tell him to shut up!

With that over with, we went to Old Sycamore and learned that the Mites and Kobolds were fighting. Kobolds, as some may know, are currently under the impression that Tartuccio is a Kobold like them named Shaman Tartuk. The Mites are Fey creatures who fit in the Gremlin category. The Mites explain that there were two artifacts that both the Mites and Kobolds kept to keep the peace between them. However, it seems like Tartuccio took the other artifact and is now hiding out in one of the headquarters of the Mites and Kobolds.

Suni decided to let the rival groups fight each other, not wanting to involve herself in their fight, even after she gave the option to end their quarrel peacefully. We were able to get Bokken's radishes and while in the area, we found a small group of Mites and Kobolds who were not partaking in the fight.

The Mites and Kobolds saw the quarrel between their factions as silly and pointless, but they now feared a beast that leads some wolves. Suni agreed to help this peaceful sect and went looking for this beast, only to run into a Worg named Grarrukh. He and his wolf gang were responsible for terrorizing the scattered Mites and Kobolds and wanted us to assist with filling their belly. And we filled his belly with metal as we slew him.

After clearing out the Old Sycamore, I ran back to the Trader Post to sell the stuff I got and to give Bokken his radishes, which he explains that the radishes are for Oleg. Apparently, Oleg hurt himself some time ago and the radishes we collected are incredible painkillers, which we saw first hand with the high-as-fuck Kobolds. The next time we visit Suni, we're gonna go into one of the caves of the Mites and Kobolds and see about getting to the bottom of the Tartuccio situation. Or, mayhaps, we'll go to that Elf Temple.

[sinister-bob]

Scary, Scary Halloween

I peer outside, there's something there that makes me shiver, spikes my hair.

It must be Halloween.

A skeleton, with bones so white they gleam and glimmer in the night, has come for Halloween.

A ghost goes trailing, drifting by, with sunken mouth and sunken eye.

Ghosts rise on Halloween.

"Little ones, stay safe inside! It's best to stay at home and hide on hallowed Halloween."

A vampire and a werewolf prowl.

One growls a growl, the other howls a howl in praise of Halloween.

Two witches, grinning witchy grins, have pointy hats and pointy chins.

They're here for Halloween.

"Cover eye and cover ear, nightmares walk the streets of fear on dreaded Halloween."

Goblins, gremlins skip and leap, they near rest, they never sleep, they're glad it's Halloween.

A devil prances, fiery red, with horns asprouting from his head.

He knows it's Halloween.

Thunder, thunder up above!

"What is it, mother?"

"Shh, my love! It's just the thump of creature feet, a creature in a winding sheet. His claws are dragging on the floor, he is crashing, smashing at the door!"

"Will he find us here below?"

"Hush, my love, I cannot know."

"Trick or treat? It's Halloween! Am I the scariest thing you've seen? Tonight? On Halloween?"

"He didn't see us, didn't care. We weren't the ones he came to scare this night on Halloween."

It's quite now, the monster's gone, the streets are ours until the dawn. We're out, we prowlers of the night who snap and snarl and claw and bite.

We stalk the shadows, dark, unseen. . . goodbye 'til next year, Halloween.

Eve Bunting

[my-weird-news]

😂 12 Hilarious Office Memes to Brighten Your Workday! 🤣

When Work Becomes a Circus 🎪 Isn't it just wild to think we could have a world where we're all sipping coconut water on a beach, but nooo, we're stuck juggling spreadsheets in this crazy work culture instead. 🏖️🥥 Work, my friends, can be a real beast. I mean, who needs an alarm clock when your boss's emails can give you heart palpitations? But hey, if you're ready for a chuckle between those conference calls, brace yourselves for these uproarious work memes! Time Warp: 7 Hours = 7 Minutes ⏰ Imagine, you stroll into your office, park your behind, and dive into the email abyss. Suddenly, it feels like you've aged a century, but in reality, it's just been seven minutes. 😱 That guy in the meme? His face is like a Picasso painting of a worker bee who's slaved for hours only to realize it's barely snack o'clock. Karen vs. The Manager: A Tale of Equine Wisdom 🐴 Ah, the Karen, that mystical creature that prowls in stores, demanding to see the manager. But guess what, horses have cracked the code! They've shown us the hoof-stomping truth: when Karen corners the manager, it's like ordering a pizza with extra karma—same response, different toppings. 🍕 If only we could neigh our way out of customer conundrums! Endless Meeting, Enter That Guy 🗣️ Ever been trapped in a meeting that felt like a never-ending accordion solo? Finally, you see the light at the end of the boring tunnel, until that guy pulls a verbal rabbit out of his hat, and suddenly time implodes. Now that's a disappearing act no one asked for. 🎩 Zen and the Art of Nature Vacuuming 🍃 Let's talk about the art of looking busy when the boss hovers by. This meme? It's a masterpiece! A woman vacuuming nature—because nothing says productivity like tidying up the great outdoors. I bet her resume says "Mother Earth's Personal Housekeeper." 🌍 Death's Grin and The Great Escape ☠️ Work blues got you wondering what life's all about? Well, this meme says death's a big upgrade, ‘cause you'll never need to face a spreadsheet again. The happy cadaver's smile says, "I’m free from meetings and memos!" 😄 Remember, folks, even death seems more appealing than Excel sometimes! When Work Multiplies Like Gremlins 🧟‍♂️ Picture this: you slog like a champ, only to discover your reward is more work. Surprise, it's the job version of getting a second pet gremlin that comes with zero instructions. 😩 Our man's hidden expression mirrors the reality of working, where hard work's treated like a buffet—everything's piled onto your plate. Faxes in a Time Machine 📠 Ever been asked to send a fax in the era of smartphones and AI? It's like asking a hamster to fix your car. But some folks still cling to their fax machines like they're the golden ticket to job security. This meme’s here to make us wonder, "Do these fax lovers also send carrier pigeons?" 🐦 The Couch Potato of Corporate Chaos 🍿 Behold, the dude chilling as the office combusts around him! This is the face of someone who warned everyone that a clown car couldn't fit through the door, but no one listened. Now all he can do is grab popcorn and watch the circus. 🤡 The Pun-slinging Office Hero 🦸‍♂️ Who doesn’t love a good pun? This guy’s a master of cheesy office banter. It's like a marathon of punchlines in a 3-second sprint. Bet he can turn any dull meeting into a stand-up show, complete with laughter sound effects. 🎤🎵 Friday's Freedom vs. Monday's Mess 🎉🧹 Friday's here, and you're mentally moonwalking out of the office. Papers fly like confetti; you're the mess-maker extraordinaire! But hold on a second—Monday isn't exactly your cleanup crew. You're the superhero that left the city in chaos, only to return as the janitor. 🦸‍♂️🧼 The Great Workplace Hypocrisy 🕰️ Ah, the workplace double standard, where staying late goes unnoticed, but sneezing five minutes late gets you the "Come to my office" death stare. This meme's the spotlight on that twisted reality, like catching your reflection in a funhouse mirror—it's amusingly warped. 🤪 So, there you have it, a world where work's a circus and the memes are your popcorn. Remember, even when life hands you spreadsheets, you can always turn them into comic strips! 🎪🍿🤹‍♀️# When Work Becomes a Circus 🎪 Isn't it just wild to think we could have a world where we're all sipping coconut water on a beach, but nooo, we're stuck juggling spreadsheets in this crazy work culture instead. 🏖️🥥 Work, my friends, can be a real beast. I mean, who needs an alarm clock when your boss's emails can give you heart palpitations? But hey, if you're ready for a chuckle between those conference calls, brace yourselves for these uproarious work memes! Time Warp: 7 Hours = 7 Minutes ⏰ Imagine, you stroll into your office, park your behind, and dive into the email abyss. Suddenly, it feels like you've aged a century, but in reality, it's just been seven minutes. 😱 That guy in the meme? His face is like a Picasso painting of a worker bee who's slaved for hours only to realize it's barely snack o'clock. Karen vs. The Manager: A Tale of Equine Wisdom 🐴 Ah, the Karen, that mystical creature that prowls in stores, demanding to see the manager. But guess what, horses have cracked the code! They've shown us the hoof-stomping truth: when Karen corners the manager, it's like ordering a pizza with extra karma—same response, different toppings. 🍕 If only we could neigh our way out of customer conundrums! Endless Meeting, Enter That Guy 🗣️ Ever been trapped in a meeting that felt like a never-ending accordion solo? Finally, you see the light at the end of the boring tunnel, until that guy pulls a verbal rabbit out of his hat, and suddenly time implodes. Now that's a disappearing act no one asked for. 🎩 Zen and the Art of Nature Vacuuming 🍃 Let's talk about the art of looking busy when the boss hovers by. This meme? It's a masterpiece! A woman vacuuming nature—because nothing says productivity like tidying up the great outdoors. I bet her resume says "Mother Earth's Personal Housekeeper." 🌍 Death's Grin and The Great Escape ☠️ Work blues got you wondering what life's all about? Well, this meme says death's a big upgrade, ‘cause you'll never need to face a spreadsheet again. The happy cadaver's smile says, "I’m free from meetings and memos!" 😄 Remember, folks, even death seems more appealing than Excel sometimes! When Work Multiplies Like Gremlins 🧟‍♂️ Picture this: you slog like a champ, only to discover your reward is more work. Surprise, it's the job version of getting a second pet gremlin that comes with zero instructions. 😩 Our man's hidden expression mirrors the reality of working, where hard work's treated like a buffet—everything's piled onto your plate. Faxes in a Time Machine 📠 Ever been asked to send a fax in the era of smartphones and AI? It's like asking a hamster to fix your car. But some folks still cling to their fax machines like they're the golden ticket to job security. This meme’s here to make us wonder, "Do these fax lovers also send carrier pigeons?" 🐦 The Couch Potato of Corporate Chaos 🍿 Behold, the dude chilling as the office combusts around him! This is the face of someone who warned everyone that a clown car couldn't fit through the door, but no one listened. Now all he can do is grab popcorn and watch the circus. 🤡 The Pun-slinging Office Hero 🦸‍♂️ Who doesn’t love a good pun? This guy’s a master of cheesy office banter. It's like a marathon of punchlines in a 3-second sprint. Bet he can turn any dull meeting into a stand-up show, complete with laughter sound effects. 🎤🎵 Friday's Freedom vs. Monday's Mess 🎉🧹 Friday's here, and you're mentally moonwalking out of the office. Papers fly like confetti; you're the mess-maker extraordinaire! But hold on a second—Monday isn't exactly your cleanup crew. You're the superhero that left the city in chaos, only to return as the janitor. 🦸‍♂️🧼 The Great Workplace Hypocrisy 🕰️ Ah, the workplace double standard, where staying late goes unnoticed, but sneezing five minutes late gets you the "Come to my office" death stare. This meme's the spotlight on that twisted reality, like catching your reflection in a funhouse mirror—it's amusingly warped. 🤪 So, there you have it, a world where work's a circus and the memes are your popcorn. Remember, even when life hands you spreadsheets, you can always turn them into comic strips! 🎪🍿🤹‍♀️ Read the full article

[jkknight98]

Tommy's sweet tooth (Submitted by tm potion annon)

Have fun with my very first g/t fic, where I throw in a reference to one of your posts, find it if you can~ 

I had thought I was safe from detection when I first found the cave system in which I reside. I had originally stumbled across this cave while running away from Sam, and lost him in said caves..meaning the caves should be safe?.. There have been rumors going around that Tommy's been at his usual ruckus again, with his sneaking up on people when they aren't looking in his direction. That seemed inconspicuous to me, so I took no precautions as he wasn't known to be too violent or take things TOO far. Oh how wrong we all were about that. It started when I went out to collect some berries and hunt around for some small prey. 

"It seems like I'm running low on food, and I can't seem to find a good enough supply down here without risking mobs coming back to my portion of the cave…that'd be annoying." I glared as I looked at the nearly depleted food chests.

 I sighed as I shut the chest quickly and sauntered towards the entrance of the cave. The cave entrance was covered by vines and foliage, forming a makeshift curtain that blended into the rocks..well as far as I knew. My tail flicked from side to side as I slowly wriggled through the vines so as to not make much noise as it was still risky to let my presence be known around here. I had a small iron dagger in my pocket, as a sword was annoying to carry around. The sky was misty, and the grass around the mountainous region was still wet from a rainstorm that happened sometime last night. It was sorta hard to see in front of myself as the most from the rain still seemed to remain prevalent. The SMP seemed a little empty as it was early in the morning, which is good because normally no one would be prowling around at this time. I eventually found a patch of berry bushes and started harvesting them as neatly as I could so no berry juice would get on me. As I got the last few berries I thought I'd need, I started heading back to deposit the berries into my food chests. I had thought I heard something move in the distance, however it *seemed* to be nothing. 

The mist started to clear, so I decided to take a walk as the weather was exceptionally good. There were many rustling bushes and trees, but I didn't think anything of it as there was wind blowing. 

"The weather hasn't been this good in ages!" I shouted, as the sun was shining on me instead of the light of a stray glow lichen. 

I decided to stay out and hang around an obscure field of flowers a few 100 blocks away from my cave home. My ears flicked, alerting me of a plump crow around. As soon as I made sure a certain bird man wasn't nearby, I pounced on the bird, swiftly clawing its neck in a matter of seconds. I prepared a campfire quickly, grabbing some stray coal in one of my pouches and some sticks. I set the carcass on the cooking stick and then ate some berries while waiting for the bird to cook. Looking around whilst waiting, the sky was clear and the hillside I was near had vibrant grass and overgrown ferns. Butterflies fluttered in every direction, attracted to the flowers. 

I smelled the smell of a well done bird "This seems to be done now, I'm looking forward to eating this…" I licked my feline lips, as my fluffy tail curled in anticipation. 

Just as I was about to bite into the juicy bird, I heard a familiar voice in the distance. 

"Hey! I see Potion over there!" Tommy shouted, not seeming to give a damn about his volume. 

I figured he wouldn't do much harm so I just continued to scarf down the roasted crow. After I finished up, I picked up my berry basket and started to walk off to see more of the landscape. I would have anyways if Tommy wasn't running straight at me, holding a Dastardly Potion ™ in his gremlin hands. 

"C'MERE POTION, I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO TRY!" Tommy bellowed, surprisingly gaining speed and getting too close for comfort. 

As I strung my berries onto my back, he was already right there, gesturing at the cyan potion in his hand. 

"I will not drink this. You and I both know what this potion does." I stated matter of factly, thinking he'd back off knowing I know more than he'd anticipated. 

"Come onnnn, I promise I won't do anything to you if you drink itttt" Tommy begged, edging closer. 

"I'll be leaving now." I growled, turning my back to him. Big mistake. 

Suddenly I was getting lunged at by him, and easily getting pinned due to the height and weight difference. It also seemed like he might've drank a strength II potion. I struggled greatly, brandishing my iron dagger to no avail despite slashing at his arms. He manages to fling the dagger out of my arms, and as he does I claw at his face, slashing him on the nose. I go in for a second flash but I accidently get too close to the gremlin's teeth, getting my entire hand caught in between his teeth as he bites down. I barely manage to pry his teeth off with my remaining arm, before he makes quite the disturbing comment. 

"Yknow, I never expected you to taste so much like chocolate…really tickles my sweet tooth.." Tommy laughed, popping the cap off of the potion and getting it close to my face. 

"Get that thing away from me, I know what you want to do for sure now!" I screamed, trying to bat the potion away from my face in which I proceeded to fail miserably.

Tommy used his free hand to pry my mouth open, while his other one started to get the potion towards my gaping mouth. At this point I was thrashing as much as I could, but he kicked me pretty hard in the leg which momentarily stopped me from kicking at him. Before I could bite down on his hand, I felt a splash on my mouth as the contents of the bottle were emptied unwillingly into my mouth and down my throat. Coughing and hacking, I manage to sprint the 200 blocks back to my house before the effects could take place. 

"Holy….shit..I..-" I collapsed to the ground, knocked out while I shrunk down to the size of a potato. 

Dazed and terrified, I immediately tried to get up. As I got to my much smaller feet, I managed to make out the sounds of footsteps madly dashing to the entrance, which apparently wasn't camouflaged enough. 

"COME BACK! I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW IT WORKED!" Tommy lied through his teeth, trying to convince me.

I managed to bite my tongue and duck under my normally sized bed to try and wait him out as he burst through the vines. I saw him enter as the bed faced the entrance, and every noise could easily make me turn around to its source. If I were more rich, and less of a criminal on the most wanted list…I probably would've bought some invisibility potions for an occasion like this. It felt like forever I heard his footsteps around me, echoing across the cave from all over. He seemed to be..almost trying to smell for me, like a rabid dog or something.. 

"Come on…I know you're in there you son of a bitch…." Tommy muttered under his breath, a little annoyed but still determined. 

I trembled quite a bit as he shook the bed by yanking the covers off of it, cursing loudly when he didn't see me. Just as I thought he was done checking the bed, I turned around to see his now giant blue eyes staring at me like I was a piece of candy he just found. I backed up all the way to the wall under the bed, but alas, his arms proved to be too long. Large hands made a mad dash to grab at me, I was screaming quite a bit. All of a sudden, I felt myself being dragged out from under the bed. Tommy grinned at me, looking like a child that just discovered his parents weren't home and the snacks were in reach. 

"Tommy..Tommy this isn't funny.. Please put me down.." My voice trailed off as he started bringing me closer to his face. 

"I don't know about you but I for one think this is QUITE funny." Tommy licked his lips, bringing me ever so closer. 

I looked at him with a look of complete fear and..anger… this kid annoys me… I plead with him to not do this to me.

"Listen here bitch, with all the shit you've done across the server…you're lucky I don't turn you in right now." Tommy laughed hysterically. 

"What are you doing…you better not do what I think you're gonna do!" I yelled, pathetically hoping to discourage him.

As I was about to say something else to convince him, I felt myself being tossed..directly into his mouth. I desperately try to escape, but his tongue proceeds to pin me to the bottom of his mouth. 

"PLEASE-" I proceeded to then choke on saliva as it proceeded to cover my entire body. 

He continued to play around with his 'food'. He proceeded to wrap his tongue around my leg and violently shake it around his mouth, disorienting me quite a bit. He slowly started tilting his head back, almost teasingly. It was scary, I tried my hardest to climb back up. His tongue practically threw me down his throat, as I was hissing, screaming and swearing at him. He laughed as I slowly descended through his throat, being squished by the walls of it. As I fell into his stomach, I landed on my tail and let out a yell. 

"Having fun in there?" Tommy asked "Because you're gonna be in there for a bit…" He grinned. 

"WHY would I be having FUN in there?!" I growled, having been defeated by a gremlin child. 

"I dunno because I am THE  Tommyinit, and I get all the bitches!" He laughed. 

"The only bitch you'll ever get is yourself!" I yelled, annoyed with this kid's antics. 

He patted his belly, causing me to shake and get some stomach juices on me. I sighed as I took in where I'd be staying for a bit. 

"Have a fun time at HotelInIt." He snickered to himself. 

I guess I'll have to deal with his antics for a while…….

[moonlight-tmd]

do you have any aus that you'd like to share that we don't know? I don't want this to sound pushy, I just want something to read :']

hah nah it's fine! i do have some ideas i have not shared yet- mostly cuz i think it's way too unfitting for the franchise. So lemme get my list first;

There is the Cyberbeast AU, Warframe!Bumblebee AU, Civil!Blitzwing AU, Part-Insecticon!Bumblebee AU, Cons Are Good AU and apparently the Crack AU where everything is chaos.

Now there were few ideas i had but decided 'ya know what, nobody would want to read it anyway', it's mostly about Bumblebee cuz i love that gremlin but here you go!

-Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU: There is a disease of unknown origin on Cybertron called Sparkeater Disease which causes anybot to turn into a Sparkeated overtime. All of the cybertronians who were detected to have it were to be offlined for there is no actual cure for it- Bee has lived on the streets for his whole Sparklinghood, he is one of the bots that have the disease and avoided the extermination. Lucky for him, he found a way to delay the disease and make the hunger for Sparks ease- he needs to drink energon, a lot of it. When he goes to the boot camp he steals any energon there is, that's one of the reasons he got kicked out. When he enters the repair crew he masks it as it being a forging defect with his fuel lines- basically he's terminally ill. Ratchet takes the bait and provides him with emergency energon canteen bottle and gives him more energon. Whenever he starts feeling weak and is easily irritable, you know it's time for food. No one can know, or else it will be over for him. (Basically make him deadly and shove even more angst down his throat)

Now for the one-shot ideas that passes thru my mind:

-Bee as a God from another world, he doesn't have any powers outsite of his world so at one point the crew somehow ends up there and there is a rather cruel Demi-God that took over while Bee was absent. They have a duel and Bee is reavealed to be a God.

-Bee being a powerful creature from a different world- aka, the early version of Cyberbeast AU. Not much to say anout this.

-Bumblebee being an entertainer/host(ess) in a club after returning to Cybertron. Instead of going for the Elite Guard job after they save th Allspark, he goes into what he loved most- which is dressing up and performing. He basically owns a high-end club that's inspired by earth. (If you watch Helluva Boss then it's similar to Queen Bee's house, but dark with velvety colors. The name is "Honey Hive") (Blitz can possibly be one of the employees/entertainers as a form of rehab.)

-Bee having a twin sibbling but got separated with her when he got into Carequarters and them finding each other on earth. (her name would be "Mantis" i think, but that's more of an 'OC insert' territory)

-Bee with the ability to see ghosts. He was seemingly forged with it, maybe a gift from the Allspark. He sees ghosts everywhere but can't act on it with others around, he's had enough close calls when people thought he was crazy cuz he talked to himself. He never told anyone, he thinks he'll end up in psych ward or something. So it just comes and goes as a joke sometimes.

-Now the angsty one(BlitzBee mainly)- Somehow he ends up being so hurt and betrayed by his friends he joins the Decepticons and the 'cons win the war. The repair crew that fought them was supposed to be killed but they are left to be just a repair crew for unknown reason, oh and Sari takes Bee's spot now that she's techno-organic. Yes Prowl lives, nobody dies here. Years later, on Cybertron there needs to be a space brigde build and they go there and oops, now your boss is a revamped Bumblebee. Later is revealed that the building the space bridge it supposed to go is a new Carequarters. The team knows Bee is from Carequarters- anyway they go from not liking each other to being kinda friends again. The 'cons are not so bad at ruling over Cybertron anyway.

-Young Ratchet dating a Decepticon before the war, and them meeting again on earth when they're old. In this, the relationship with Arcee doesn't kick off for him. Again, an 'OC instert' thing.

-Bee was experimented on when he was little and was made a dormant killer machine- aka, the early version of Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU.

That's all for now, i don't think i will be doing much with the short-term ideas but the AU is interesting and i might do something with it. Feel free to ask about it.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

mmm tyrant angst for the mlb gremlin au

"You don't—" Tommy shakes his head. He can't handle this. Exile for him had been like a gunshot to the head, what had it been like to shoot the bullet when you hadn't chosen to load it? "You can't seriously think I hate you; I forgive you! I swear I do, I always have—"

"No," starts Tubbo, his Tubbo, "you don't! I know you don't, so stop lying, god damn it!"

Ranboo shakes his head fevermently, worrying his lip. "He wouldn't lie to you! You know he wouldn't!"

"You've always lied," sourly says Tubbo. He whips out his hand, pointing an accusatory finger at Tommy. "Whether it be for good or not, don't think I'm dense! I'm not—not some child in need of help. You always treated me like I was glass, and I'm sick of it! Sick! Forgiving me?! After all I did?! Some fucking story. Only an idiot would believe something as bizarre as that, just let me go and give me your miraculous!"

"We were twelve!" Tommy yells, and Tubbo freezes.

The shorter steps forward. "Don't bring that up—"

"We were twelve when we died the first time! You were fourteen years old when you were executed," protests Tommy, prowling with the anger of the world. "So don't bring up some utter bullshit that we weren't kids! We all excepted that we didn't deserve it that young, that no one should've gotten that regardless of age—so what's so hard to figure out?!"

For a second, everyone almost keels over in relief when Tubbo comes to a stop. Prime, this could've gotten way out of hand if they hadn't ended it so quick, maybe Wilbur's speeches had rubbed off on him—

And then Tubbo laughs. Shit.

"You really—" Foot hitting cement, he grinds the shoe into the roof with fury. "Liar. It's a surprise to really see all of you just calm down here—when will Dream come back?"

"He won't."

"When," Tubbo begins again, "will we be thrown into another fucking war where we're at each other's throats again?! This won't matter much then, will it?!" He steps back. Pauses. "Enough of that. Let's play a game of chess. And, it's almost like always isn't it, you—" he points at Tommy. His breath catches, stepping back, and Purpled stands in front of the blond— "will be my knight. Protect me when it counts, this time."

Thanks anon. I'm crying.

[supimjustwriting]

Candy Apples And Tricks of The Eyes

Venti x Traveller (Reader)

Summary: The Traveller is preparing candy apples for their friends in Mondstadt. Though a certain bard wants to claim all the treats for himself. Only to be tricked by the beloved wind.

Author’s Note: Despite me using the term Traveller. It doesn’t actually refer to Aether or Lumine. Gender neutral terms are used and I hope you enjoy ~! 

~

Emerald eyes gazed hungrily at the ruby treat, glancing quickly at their companion before claiming the shimmering apple with one swift bite. “Mhm ~! Traveller! You truly are out of this world. Who knew one could enhance the colour and sweetness of an apple simply by coating it in sugar?” his signature chuckle escaped his lips. “Saying that aloud makes it sound obvious but it’s always the simple things we forget about, huh?” The Traveller simply scoffed. Their amused smirk not going unnoticed by the prowling green menace, who was already getting ready to devour yet another gift from the archons.

“Venti, save some for the kids. I know you’re a kid at heart and all but the little ones should have a chance too,” chastised the Traveller gently, a familiar tone gracing their lips.

“Hey little one! Those apples sure are yummy, huh? But we gotta save some for the others as well. It wouldn’t be fair if you hogged them all to yourself now, right?” The wind tickled his ears, followed closely by a voice of the past.

“Venti. Venti? Are you alright? You seem -”

The tone-deaf bard whisked the bundle of candy apples from the Traveller, closing his eyes to hide the glaze coating them. “Gotcha ~! You really have to be more aware of your surroundings. I thought you were the great hero of Mondstadt, Liyue, and Inazuma! Just where will your travels stop?” Before he could make his escape out the door, Klee and Kaeya blocked his exit.  

“Now, now. What do we have here? A little, green gremlin stealing away all the good boys and girls’ treats? That doesn’t seem very harmonious of you,” chuckling, the blue haired male easily plucked a candy apple from the thief before handing it to Klee. “For you the Explosion Princess.” “Klee is Albedo the Explosion Princess,” corrected Klee with a huff. “Klee didn’t know whether to be big brother Albedo or a Princess. So, Klee became both! Smart, right?” cheered the blonde, nibbling the scarlet treat.

Everyone chuckled at the sight, complimenting the little demolitionist idea.

Children always had the sweetest of smiles. Even back then. Apples are still sweet. Children laughed. People are still people. Even without you here.

If only you could see the Mondstadt you fought for now. I hope it’s a place where you can smile too.