#Proud Haddock Productions

[psychologicalwarclaire]

Dune x Avatar the Last Airbender crossover that absolutely no one asked for

More info under the cut

Paul Atreides : in this AU, Paul is the Avatar instead of the Kwisach Haderack. Fire Avatar before Yangchen. At age 17, he's already been trained in firebending by Gurney Haddock, waterbending by Duncan Idaho, and airbending by Thufir Hawat.

The four nations are at a time of peace united under the Earth Kingdom Emperor Shaddam. Duke Leto (Paul's father) owns the Caladan fiefdom, which is a group of volcanic islands (which will one day be called the Fire Nation). Like in Dune, Leto is given the land Arrakis, which is a desert area filled with spice.

Spice, in this crossover, grants mortals heightened spiritual awareness. Humans can see and even talk to spirits. The Fremen, a tribe of desert sandbenders, use the spice for many religious purposes. They live in catacombs under the sands of Arrakis. They are very proud the spice. The Harkonnens have had charge over the spice production for generations, until the Emperor stationed Duke Leto Atreides over it.

In an extremely oversimplified way of putting it, things then play out along the storyline of Dune. Some differences, however, are that Jessica (Paul's mother) is a Fire Sage instead of a Bene Gesserit. Chani becomes Paul's sandbending/earthbending teacher. Alina, still strange because of overexposure to spice, is closer to an Azula figure. Her fire is white and causes damage to spirits instead of physical damage.

Due to corrupt intentions of the sandbenders, the murder of Jessica, and Paul's growing instability, he and Alina wipe out many of the Fremen, destroy the Harkonnens, and unite remnants of their late father's fief into the Fire Nation.

Avatar Paul Muad'dib Atreides becomes the first Fire Lord of the Fire Nation.

If anyone actually wants me to write this out with more detail, I absolutely will. However until that request comes, I'm not going to recount the entirety of Dune on a whim.

[dimdiamond]

You know I was just reading the tintin books originally from the first one and I can tell I didn't like the way herge handled the drinking situations with haddock,like in most of the stories he didn't really give a damn about anything but his whisky lol,nowdays the regular fans or people only talk or joke about his attachment to drinking I feel like he could be much more than that,in some stories he was even literally annoying like in that whole moon business or in calculus affair the guys were talking about calculus's safety and here he was only asking or thinking for a drink lol💀I know it was all for jokes or to make people laugh but I didn't like that haddock was all about drinking,the only time he took anything seriously for a bit rather than drinking was in the red sea sharks lmao I feel like he just had more potential than to just act as a drunken man,what do you think of it?

OMG MY FAVOURITE TOPIC, CAPTAIN HADDOCK!

Ok but I totally agree with you, especially in the early works the way the drinking problem is handled is just so off puting, so weird. It's always used for jokes and I confess that I have laughed with many of them but that doesn't mean I'm totally fine with them.

On one side I understand that these jokes are also a product of Herge's time and in general the conversation about alcoholism and other addictions wasn't as excessive and as developed as now (not that we treat them any better but at least there is now the aknowledgement of the problem and real efforts to be taken seriously). However we can't ignore that these jokes have aged poorly.

Besides the nature of the jokes themselves, I think the amount of them have done bag things to the character's reputation. Herge wanted to repeat the familiar jokes but he put them so many times that now most people remember Haddock for his alcoholism than all the other virtues he has shown.

[Surprisingly and maybe unpopular opinion but I did like how this was handled in the Spielberg movie. Yes it was used as a joke all the time but Tintin never encouraged Haddock drinking and he even got mad when he thought that Haddock drank (I still cry with this scene). Haddock tries to stop himself from drinking and he manages that two times, with the last one being such a great moment. He is also shown to realize his problem and not being proud of himself and he still tries to do better, to be better. And that's the core of Haddock's character. He is a man that reached the bottom and stood up again, he just needed the right push.]

In the later comics the drinking jokes are still there but I notice they're more about in how many ways we can prevent Haddock from drinking, reaching the Picaros where he can't even drink anymore. I think this is an improvement of the joke compared to before.

I want to stay on the example you mentioned with the moon case. Haddock's drinking and eventually endangering everyone because of it is never dealt lightheartedly. It's the first time we see Tintin losing his composure and yelling. Tintin, who until now never yelled at Haddock no matter what he did, is so angry and so disappointed that he yells. After that Haddock is immediately shown to be truly guilty and asking for forgiveness and of course Tintin forgives him. They don't mention it again and Haddock doesn't drink again.

Let's count how many times Haddock was completely drunk to the point of being dangerous for himself and others. Two. The first in his first appearance, in The Crab With The Golden Claws, and the second in the Explorers On The Moon. The two cases seem not similar but they do have one thing in common. Both times Haddock felt trapped and having no control over his own life and the only thing that felt in his control was alcohol. In Karaboudjan he felt trapped and Allan and the rest taking his freedom. In the rocket he felt trapped and before going he had tried so many times to get away from it and told so many times that he didn't want to participate but no one listened. We can't ignore the pattern here, alcohol for Haddock is his mean to regain control of himself and get courage. He needed a lot of time to take this matter in his hands and I don't think it's a coincidence we don't see him that drunk after the moon. In that case, he seemed to realize that he is not alone, his freedom isn't stolen but shared with his friends and freedom comes with responsibility and consequences. In both times Tintin is endangered and yet he doesn't abandon Haddock and saves him. In the first time, Tintin gave Haddock, a stranger, the comfort and courage to stand up and believe in himself again. In the second time, Tintin gave Haddock, his closest friend, a good shaking and scolding to stop being selfish and realize he's not alone anymore.

It's easy to diminish Haddock's character to his drinking. It's not fair though. Haddock has shown many MANY great virtues, since his first appearance even! In The Crab With The Golden Claws he didn't give Tintin although he was literally whipped and tortured to talk. In the Seven Crystal Balls he did everything to find Calculus. In the Red Sea Shark he literally shines. In Tibet he follows Tintin even though he thinks it's nonsense and he was ready to sacrifice himself for him. He has shown with words and actions that he's a philanthropist and strongly against racism and slavery and war. He is kindhearted, loyal and honest. He is a great friend and for all these Tintin and the rest characters chose him to be their friend and never gave up on him.

I simply wish fans could see all these stuff that Haddock is without drinking and not limit their perception and opinion on him from just drinking jokes.

Idea: let's stop making alcohol jokes and start the jokes about mineral water!

[26labrd]

excerpts from j’etais tintin au cinema, jean-pierre talbot’s autobiography on his time playing tintin in the 1960s, as featured in the booklet accompanying bfi’s dvd release of tintin and the golden fleece. transcript under the cut. excerpts from the booklet accompanying the dvd release of tintin and the blue oranges can be found here.

“Jean-Pierre Talbot on being Tintin:

A young fitness instructor, Jean-Pierre Talbot, was plucked from obscurity to play the famous boy-reporter in Tintin and the Mystery of the Golden Fleece. A huge Tintin fan himself Talbot took his role very seriously, refusing to let professional stuntmen stand in for the more dangerous scenes and making sure that he looked exactly the part. Talbot was such a convincing Tintin that producers quickly signed him up for the next Tintin film adventure. Here he recalls meeting Hergé and how it felt to play his hero – Tintin.

---

Spiritual son

One of the best things that happened to me was during my first meeting with Hergé. I met him by chance when he came to greet the Production. I didn’t have to be in the building that day but a change in my schedule brought me there. I was picking up my new timetable when I became aware of a commotion around me. Someone informed that, “Hergé is coming.”

The hour of truth had arrived. Was Hergé going to support the producer’s choice?

I only lacked Hergé’s approval to confirm me in what I was calling ‘my mission.’

Almost simultaneously Hergé and I entered André Barret’s office, each of us by a different door. We’re here, all three of us, all smiling. I stammer out a shy hello, but my handshake is firm. Very amused, André Barret makes the customary introductions.

“Jean-Pierre, this is Hergé.”

And, turning towards Hergé:

“Here is Jean-Pierre.”

Reassuringly, the atmosphere becomes immediately less tense. Hergé sizes me up for a few seconds. Those few seconds seem to last a lifetime. I am worried in a way that I have rarely ever been. What will his verdict be?

Very paternally, he puts his hand on my shoulder and says smiling, “Ah yes, it’s really him.” He did not say “it looks like him” or “he’s suitable," no, he said, “Ah yes, it’s really him”! My heart started beating normally again and I was, genuinely, the happiest man in the world.

We stayed for about an hour talking about everything and nothing, then we had lunch. Hergé seemed amused and astonished about what had taken place: he recognized this character! Better still, Tintin had sprung out of the album. He had become flesh and blood: he had come to life. Extraordinary!

A few days later, we posed together for a Paris Match feature.

In the street people clamoured for my autograph, but how should I sign? Jean-Pierre Talbot? No one knew him. Everyone wanted Tintin’s signature. That was normal, after all my name didn’t appear on the poster. No, it cited Tintin and Snowy and Georges Wilson as Captain Haddock… So I turned to Hergé and asked him: “Shall I sign it ‘Tintin’?”

“Yes, of course!”, replied a man who was still smiling and extraordinarily surprised by this turn of events.

When we were shooting the interior scenes, André Barret organized a champagne buffet and invited Hergé. On that day we went for a long walk, he always had a paternal hand on my shoulder and I was always so proud of this acknowledgment. But he never intervened, or gave me any comments or advice on how to interpret his character. Likewise I never solicited his advice or raised this question. There was, without doubt, a sort of modesty between us.

After the films we met up more or less once a year, in particular on Michel Drucker’s show and during the festivities for Tintin’s 50th anniversary. I told him then that I’d been embarrassed to sign myself Tintin as I felt that I was stealing a little but of his popularity. He replied to me with an answer I would never forget: “But no, Jean-Pierre, you were right to do this because you never demythologized my character.”

I was, as he confided in me, his ‘spiritual son.’ But I was never overly familiar with him and I was impressed more by his composure than my own. This great artist rarely spoke, but he always listened, despite the violent temper that some people attributed to him.

When I rubbed shoulders with the Master, two surprising things about him struck me. When ideas were exchanged he participated little, listened carefully and then gave his opinion, it was staggering, and had such authority that everyone saw – ultimately – that Hergé was always right!

During autograph sessions or meetings with fans, I was flabbergasted to see that he was astonished by his success. Slapping his thigh with a smile he used to exclaim, “It’s not possible.” I knew that he was overjoyed.

The Golden Fleece

“For his first film, André Barret had requested Remo Forlani’s collaboration. Although the screenplay of both films wasn’t taken from comic albums drawn by Hergé, books with the story do exist. Casterman was given stills of the shoot to edit Tintin’s cinematic adventures. What amused me the most was the discovery of Pascal Somon’s reproduction of The Golden Fleece. He had the tact not to imitate Hergé’s drawings. His interpretation of Tintin intentionally gave a little volume to the lips and the earlobes. I was overjoyed when he offered me three hardback volumes composed of his version of The Golden Fleece in black and white, a work of excellent quality.

Later he gave me a colour version in one volume this time. I prefer – for my part – the black and white version.

He also drew me, as Tintin, crouching next to a map of the world or walking with Hergé opposite the offices of éditions Lombard. He was given photos taken from my tests for the drawings.

I had heard talk of a similar version of Blue Oranges, but I have only recently discovered it. After much inquiry, by a miracle, I found this album, drawn by Fa-Bergé. Very funny… and interesting. These works are known as ‘pirate’ albums and their artists ‘forgers.’ I don’t see why this should be as it’s not ‘fake Hergé.’ No one believes that Hergé is the author. There’s nothing ambiguous. Everyone knows it. It’s simply a light-hearted homage, since my two films had never been drawn. But happiness for me!

For the scenes which took place in Greece we shot around Loutraki, in the Gulf of Corinth, as well as in an ancient port by the name of Ireo, not forgetting Athens, Pireas, and Meteora.

We also passed through Turkey – Istanbul’s old districts, the Blue Mosque, the Bosporus, the Golden Horn, the Castle of Rumeli, built on a hill overhanging the river.

In action, I’m still Tintin

During certain risky scenes I felt even more like my hero. Furthermore in Rumeli Castle I received a commemorative medal marked with ‘Rumelihisarinin – Hatirasi,’ after having accomplished the exploit of descending down the main tower using only the strength in my wrists, a perilous drop.

This scene was the most thrilling to shoot. And to think that the Production wanted to use a double! I noticed that two men, who looked like me, were getting ready but I didn’t know why.

When I asked the Production, they answered that professional stuntmen had to be hired to shoot the descent in my place because I would certainly never accept the risk involved! I am positively against this. I had been chosen from thousands of hopefuls to personify Tintin, I wasn’t going to bunk off even if it became dangerous. In the same way I wasn’t going to use a double for a scene that I was perfectly capable of mastering. After all, I was very sporty and this task seemed to be within my competence, even if the Production was not completely unjustified in its decision. The tower was located on a hill, accentuating the impression of height. I was more proud of myself after this exploit because I identified much more with the character that I was playing.

We didn’t have to start again. The take, shot by three cameras, was good the first time!

Another descent – a motorbike chase which wasn’t without surprises – was an extra opportunity for me to really be Tintin.

I had to drive the bike, with Georges Wilson on the saddle behind holding Snowy in his arms, tailing – at full speed – the bandits’ car on a winding little mountain road.

To be a credible Captain Haddock, Georges was having to gesticulate in all directions behind my back and it was down to me to keep the bike on the road, even though I had only passed my test for the film.

Everything went smoothly until the car – doctored so it would skid – skidded, but in the wrong way so it barred my way! You’ll agree that I couldn’t just charge straight into it! So what to do? I had no solution: there were rocks on the left, and on the right a sheer drop! I surprised myself by thinking, “come on, Tintin!” and I reacted on the spot by turning round the handlebars, accurately avoiding a head-on collision.

I escaped the worst but my partner, frightened and furious, threw his hat on the ground… and Snowy as well. The poor little beast will remember this and hold it against him throughout the filming.

Although I always got on well with him, I sometimes had the clear impression that Georges would have willingly ousted me from the front of the poster, me the inexperienced youngster who knew nothing. After all, it was him who was the professional comedian. But I was not easily deceived and defended myself so that Tintin remained the main character.”

[pubtheatres1]

MRS ORWELL by Tony Cox

Directed by Jimmy Walters

Presented by Proud Haddock Productions

The Old Red Lion Theatre      1st - 26th August 2017

‘An interesting look at the death bed marriage of George Orwell but Love Story it ain’t’  ★★★★

Eric Blair, aka George Orwell, (Peter Hamilton Dyer) the writer of dystopian novels Animal Farm and 1984, is lying in a bed at University College Hospital, London. It is 1949 and he is in the last stages of TB.

He is visited by an assistant magazine editor, Sonia Brownell (Cressida Bonas), and proposes to her. Blair knows there will not be a physical aspect to their relationship. He is impotent. But he admires her youth and beauty. “What I am really asking you is would you like to be the widow of a literary man.” Brownell, a girl about town, has been having a difficult affair with married French philosopher Marice Merlaus - Ponty. She accepts the proposal after some hesitation, as after all she will be well off as Blair/Orwell’s literary executor.

This is the basis of Tony Cox’s play: looking at the last days of Blair the man; Orwell the writer, the fight over his literary legacy and what do we want and what should we expect from marriage anyway?

The script fizzles and crackles with comedy and black humour. RSC stalwart Hamilton Dyer has some of the best lines, perfectly captures the multi-layered and irascible Blair and looks so like the author’s face we know staring back at us from black and white photos on dust jackets. The actor is also slim, as shown when he is given bed baths by the nurse (Call the Midwife and 1984’s Rosie Ede), and totally believable as someone in the last retching stages of TB.

Bonas plays brittle and shallow well.  In one scene, when Blair is planning to go to Switzerland to aid his recovery, his wife does not want to go. She reveals how she escaped a boating accident in that country. The rest of the party drowned – one trying to drag her down with him. She pushes him underwater to survive. An apparently true anecdote, this gives Brownell more depth but despite this, the character seems an unlikeable gold-digger.

Blair is a more complex character – divulging shockingly that, despite being well off, he was reluctant to pay for his first wife Eileen’s medical care when she was dying from cancer.  He does love for his adopted son, Richard. He wants his new bride to live in Jura with him and the child. Brownell does not want to go – she would miss dinner at the Café Royal and hobnobbing with the glitterati. This pair are self-centred and, in that way, very well suited, although if Blair had lived longer it would surely have ended in divorce.

The marriage is complicated by the louche painter Lucien Freud (Edmund Digby Jones), a later lover of Brownell in real life, played with intensity by Digby Jones.

Robert Stocks plays Blair’s friend and publisher Fred Warburg, a bland-seeming man, but Stocks comes into his own in the last, powerful, scene facing down Brownell.

The set is a drab 1940s hospital ward, the bed its focus. There is a corridor running across the back of the stage which allows us to eavesdrop on hidden conversations. The décor is a depressing green and brown. You can almost smell the antiseptic and badly cooked food.

This is an interesting look at Blair/Orwell’s last days but Love Story it ain’t.

Tickets: https://www.ticketweb.uk/search?q=mrs+orwell&org/217473&pl=oldredlion

 Reviewer Kate Pettigrew is a journalist, playwright and director. Her plays have covered subjects including Brexit, dementia and talking sheep. She also contributes to the London Playwrights Blog.

[pierrotdameron]

BBC and Bad Wolf today announce a stellar cast and crew line up to join Academy Award winning director Tom Hooper in Jack Thorne’s adaptation of Philip Pullman’s acclaimed series of novels. Principal photography has begun in Cardiff.

Dafne Keen takes on the lead role of Lyra, the young protagonist of the story who lives in Jordan College, Oxford. Placed there at the request of her Uncle, Lord Asriel (James McAvoy) she lives a sheltered life amongst the scholars and college staff while under the watchful protection of The Master (Clarke Peters) and Librarian Scholar Charles (Ian Gelder).

When the glamorous and mesmeric Mrs Coulter (Ruth Wilson) enters Lyra’s life she embarks upon a dangerous journey of discovery from Oxford to London. Here she meets Father MacPhail (Will Keen), Lord Boreal (Ariyon Bakare) and journalist Adele Starminster (Georgina Campbell) at a glittering society party where she first hears about the sinister General Oblation Board.

Lyra is subsequently thrown into the nomadic world of the boat dwelling Gyptians - Ma Costa (Anne-Marie Duff), Farder Coram (James Cosmo), John Faa (Lucien Msamati), Raymond Van Geritt (Mat Fraser), Jack Verhoeven (Geoff Bell) and Benjamin de Ruyter (Simon Manyonda) who take her North in her quest.

Once in the North she meets charismatic aeronaut and adventurer Lee Scoresby (Lin-Manuel Miranda) who joins them on their epic journey and who becomes one of Lyra’s closest allies.

Talented young actors joining the cast include Lewin Lloyd as Roger Parslow, Daniel Frogson as Tony Costa, Tyler Howitt as Billy Costa and Archie Barnes as Pantalaimon.

Philip Pullman says: “I’m delighted that the production is under way, and I’m looking forward immensely to seeing how it looks. Bad Wolf has assembled a wonderful cast and I’m sure every HDM reader is as keen as I am to see it all coming together.”

Piers Wenger, Controller of BBC Drama, says: “The vast, complex and deeply imaginative landscape of Philip’s novels requires a world class but quintessentially British band of creatives to bring them to life. The BBC is proud and privileged to be the host to such visionaries. Thank you to Jane, Jack, Dan, Joel and Tom and of course to Philip for entrusting us with their work and sharing the journey of seeing His Dark Materials come to life”.

Bad Wolf founder and Executive Producer, Jane Tranter says: “The calibre of our cast and directors is a testament to the brilliance of Jack Thorne’s scripts and also the sheer bravura, depth and imagination of Philip Pullman’s original novels. Our determination is to sound every note of the books in a series that will fully explore the many worlds and concepts in Philip’s work. Bad Wolf has assembled a world class production team at Wolf Studios Wales in Cardiff who will bring Philip’s incredible works to life for a whole new audience.”

Jack Thorne (Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, This is England ’88) is a Bafta, Tony and Olivier Award winning screenwriter and playwright.

Thorne says: “His Dark Materials are the most beautiful set of books, taking us into a world of constant imagination. Reading them I was a massive fan, in adapting them I've increasingly felt in awe of them. It's the constant invention, the way the story never sits still, and that the characters constantly surprise you. It's been a joy being part of a creative team for this; from Tom's incredible analytic mind and amazing eye, to Joel's beautiful world building, to everyone else involved. And then there's the cast, which has proved to be the cast of dreams, we are so lucky to have been able to entice them in.”

Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech, Les Miserables) will lead as director and helm the first two episodes with Dawn Shadforth (Danny Boyle’s Trust, Kylie Minogue’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head) directing episode three and Otto Bathurst (Robin Hood [2018], Peaky Blinders) directing four and five, with other directors to be announced.

Production Designer Joel Collins (Black Mirror) says: "I wanted to be part of a show that would challenge every bone in my body. I was looking for something that would be a true test of my mettle. The hardest thing in fantasy is trying to show a mass group of people what they’ve only previously seen in their minds.”

Dan McCulloch (Victoria, Endeavour) is Executive Producer and Laurie Borg (Peaky Blinders, Black Mirror) is Producer.

In its first foray into British television, New Line Cinema is producing the series with Bad Wolf for BBC One.

The design team is led by Joel Collins (Black Mirror, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) with costumes designed by Caroline McCall (Downton Abbey, Hyde Park on Hudson) and hair and make-up design being led by Pamela Haddock (The Terror, Sherlock). Director of Photography for block one is Justin Brown (The End of the F***ing World, Sixteen) and casting director is Kathleen Crawford (I, Daniel Blake, Filth).

Framestore takes the role of VFX creative partner on the show: managing and executing VFX throughout, and working closely with the production team to ensure the awe-inspiring work can be achieved on budget, and on time.

Michelle Martin, Head of Television, Framestore says: "We could not be more excited to partner on His Dark Materials, a televisual event of truly epic proportion. It’s a hugely ambitious project, but one we at Framestore take on confidently, knowing our award-winning teams will successfully see it through."

His Dark Materials is produced by Bad Wolf and New Line Cinema for BBC One in association with BBC Studios Distribution and Anton Capital Entertainment, S.C.A. The series will be filmed in Cardiff at Wolf Studios Wales.

His Dark Materials is one of the supreme works of imaginative fiction for both children and adults published in the 20th century. After series one, which covers the first instalment of Northern Lights, the story continues in The Subtle Knife where Lyra is joined on her journey by Will, a boy who possesses a knife that can cut windows between worlds. As Lyra learns the truth about her parents and her prophesied destiny, the two young people are caught up in a war against celestial powers that ranges across many worlds and leads to a thrilling conclusion in The Amber Spyglass.

His Dark Materials has been published in more than 40 languages and has sold worldwide close to 18 million copies.

Since first publication in 1995 of Northern Lights, the three books have been acclaimed worldwide and have won many awards. In 2001 The Amber Spyglass was the first and only children’s book to win the Whitbread (now Costa) Book of the Year Award, in 2007 Northern Lights won the Carnegie of Carnegies and in 2005 Pullman was awarded by the Swedish Arts Council, the children’s literature equivalent of the Nobel Prize, The Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award.

Nicholas Hytner’s stage production of His Dark Materials was produced in two parts at the National Theatre in 2003-4. In 2006 New Line released a film of The Golden Compass starring Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig and Dakota Blue Richards as Lyra.

Bad Wolf is a UK/US production company founded by Jane Tranter and Julie Gardner and co-sited in South Wales and Los Angeles. The company is responsible for co-producing award-winning The Night Of for HBO and A Discovery Of Witches for Sky One. His Dark Materials is New Line Cinema’s first move into British television.

His Dark Materials will be Executive Produced by Dan McCulloch, Jane Tranter and Julie Gardner for Bad Wolf, Philip Pullman, Jack Thorne, Tom Hooper, and Deborah Forte, Toby Emmerich and Carolyn Blackwood for New Line Cinema, and Ben Irving and Piers Wenger for BBC One.

BBC Studios is the international distributor for His Dark Materials.

[ygoragon-blog]

Coping

A How to Train Your Dragon fanfic fable.

Hello Tumblr readers:  Right from the get go I wish to give credit to P-Artsypants, SapphireDragon4437 and ShipMistress, all of Fanfiction.net, for unknowingly motivating me to write this story. I had at first approached these three excellent writers with a rough outline, but they all told me they didn't feel up to writing such a tale. So finally I took the plunge.

This is my first time ever publishing a story for public viewing.  I was debating whether or not to call this an AU (Alternative Universe) but I think it's become more of a “What If” rendition.  I believe it to be a unique and a hopefully educational “What if”.  I hope you “Likey”.  Please keep in mind, I am not a professional writer and I am sure there will be many weak points to my story.  If that’s the case I expect to hear about it, but please refrain from useless cruelty.

A/N (Author’s Note):  This fable of mine is loosely based on personal experience. I don't claim to be a writer but I will give it my best effort.  The last time I wrote a work of fiction was back in high school English, but apparently my little Sci-Fi story impressed my teacher.

Disclaimer: How To Train Your Dragon is the property of Cressida Cowell and DreamWorks.  Of course I own nothing of this franchise.

Coping

A How to Train Your Dragon Fanfic fable

By

Ygoragon

Copyright © July 11, 2017

This story is dedicated to my wife who wishes to remain anonymous.

CHAPTER 1: THE LOSS

Berk: a large resource rich Island in the Northern sector of the Viking archipelago.  30° West of hopeless and 40° North of freezing to death.  This is an area much like other coastal habitats with one significant difference.  Where other communities deal with rats, mice, mosquitoes and blackflies, the pests of Berk are...Dragons!

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III,  was frustrated to high Valhalla.  “Other people lose socks, helmets, even their daggers.  Me! I manage to lose an entire dragon!  Aahhhhh!!!” Hiccup screamed while scribbling out furiously the diagram in his notebook, then snapped it shut with his charcoal stick and put it in the inside pocket of his brown fur vest.  “The gods hate me.” he moaned despondently whacking away a branch only to have it whip him back in the face.

Instead of screaming again in exasperation, the back smack brought him to his senses. Suddenly he realized he was looking at damage to the flora ahead of him that resembled what could only be caused by a large heavy object….or possibly a falling dragon.

“I guess my trajectory calculations weren't as messed up as I thought after all.” Hiccup pondered to himself.  He may not be the brawniest Viking of Berk, but he had an intelligence that baffled his fellow Berkians, even to the point many didn't think he was all that sharp.  Hiccup knew he was no “dummy”, but his low self image would not allow him to see that he was actually quite the genius.

Following the trail of devastation to a trough he climbed the slight incline, froze, gasped and ducked back down fast.  The sight of a very black dragon, about the size of a muskox had panicked him.

Cautiously he peeked over the ridge to again sneak another look. He hadn't been seeing things.  There it was. A black dragon. That explains why no one had ever seen a Night Fury before.  You could hear their shrill whistling scream as they attacked, but the night would make them virtually invisible.

This black beauty had been entangled by his bola cannon. “No!! Not beauty. Devil!” Hiccup had admonished himself. This beast had been responsible for so much damage to his village, but not any actual deaths. As he thought about that a little further he suddenly realized that any deaths that occurred were caused by indirect actions of the dragons. None that Hiccup could recall were as a result of a direct targeted attack by a dragon.  “What am I thinking!”. He berated himself. “They are dragons, and we are Vikings!  We are sworn enemies!”

Hiccup descended to the black bulk below him to take a closer look. As he approached he was gratefully thinking that his father, and Gobber, his mentor in the forge could finally be proud of one of his achievements. His creation of the bola cannon had actually worked, and this dragon's heart would be his proof. The dragon was clearly immobilized and helpless before him, entangled in bola cords and weights.

Hiccup drew out his dagger, his first product of blacksmith training. Putting his foot on the dragon, Hiccup exclaimed, “I have brought down this mighty beast!” only to jump back when this mighty beast twitched and groaned.

Hiccup made several feeble attempts at threatening the black dragons life, telling it he would cut out its heart and bring it to his father.  Hiccup raised his dagger threateningly only to see the dragon stare at him pleadingly, then close his eyes and lower his head in resignation, hoping this small human would make his death a swift one.

The fact that Hiccup was first able to see the beauty of this majestic creature should have been the tell tale that there was no way he could dispatch such a wonderful being.

Tears welled up in the eyes of Hiccup, and puffing out his cheeks with an exasperated sigh he began cutting the ropes of his own bola.

The dragon snapped his eyes open. What was this tiny Viking doing?  His sworn mortal enemy was cutting the ropes that bound him. He had never heard of such a thing. A human showing mercy to dragon kind. Still he couldn't take a chance, he had to make sure to put this young-ling in its place in case he changed his mind.

As soon as enough of the ropes were loosened, the dragon pounced on Hiccup and shrieked in his face.  The shriek was unlike anything Hiccup had ever heard before. It climbed up and down the frequency scale in an unnerving and disorienting blend of complementary and conflicting harmonics.  He was momentarily stunned by the barrage of acoustics to his ears.

Once the Night Fury fled away, Hiccup proudly realized he hadn't soiled or wet himself. Blowing a raspberry of relief he stood up and started walking home and promptly fainted after three steps.

Only a few minutes passed before Hiccup came back around. This time he took it slowly and got up again. Once he was upright and confident he wasn't going to pass out again he surveyed his surroundings.

Hmmm.  That's odd, Hiccup thought to himself, That Night Fury must have scared every living critter around including the bugs. It's really quiet.

Hiccup started walking back to his village and after about five minutes he halted. Fear was creeping into his belly.  Looking down at his feet he took a few steps and panic began to set in.

He could feel the crunch of foliage under his feet, yet he couldn’t hear his footsteps. A gust of wind gently pushed against him, and still he couldn't hear the rustle of the leaves of the trees around him.  

He smacked the side of his head a couple of times hoping to clear up whatever was messing with his hearing. That had been a big mistake. He yelled in pain from the onslaught of a severe headache, and sharp pain in his ears. He realized again he could feel his voice but not actually hear himself. Tentatively he touched his ears and could feel a damp sticky substance. He looked at his fingers only to realize he had been bleeding from his ears.

“Oh gods!!” He wailed.  “I've lost my hearing!!

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Sign of the Chapter - Deaf: With the index finger of your dominant hand, touch the same ear and then your lips

CHAPTER 2: DIAGNOSES

Stoick the Vast, Hiccup's father, Chief of the Hairy Hooligans tribe and the Isle of Berk,  and Gobber were waiting in anxious anticipation as Gothi carefully examined Hiccup's head paying particular attention to his ears. She used a special highly polished funnel like tube with a piece of specially shaped glass in the end to look in Hiccup's ears. Ironically it was a little invention Hiccup had created for the healer after she had expressed a wish for some kind of tool to help look into the ears of her patients. By turning Hiccup's head to the window the highly polished metal reflected the light into the ear canal allowing a more illuminated view of the ear canal and ear drum. The glass or lens magnified the view for her.

Stoick became extremely concerned by the expression on Gothi’s face. A face usually unreadable when she examined her patients.  

After putting down her otoscope, Gothi had Hiccup stand.  She looked at him and held up two fingers of her left hand. With her right hand she touched near her right eye then pointed to Hiccup and then her left hand fingers. Hiccup understood that Gothi wanted him to look at her fingers. She began to move her left hand back and forth in front of Hiccup's face, and he started to track her fingers, but moving his head at the same time. Gothi quickly grabbed the sides of his head, squeezed and gently shook it. She firmly shook her index finger at Hiccup and again pointed to her eyes. Again Hiccup's clever mind understood to follow her fingers only with his eyes and to keep his head still. This interesting form of communication started to give him some peculiar ideas.

Hiccup's eyes jittered slightly as he tracked Gothi's fingers. This again disturbed her. His eyes should have been smoother in following her fingers. Gothi stepped back and indicated to Hiccup to stand.

As the eldest of the tribe Gothi was a petite woman, but at fifteen winters of age Hiccup did not stand much taller than her. He was maybe a head higher than Gothi at this stage of his growth.

Gothi stood as erect as she could, leaning against her table for support, and held out her hands wide at shoulder height. Then bending her arms at the elbow she began to touch her nose with her index fingers, alternating her arms a couple of times. She then shrugged her arms and hands at Hiccup to do the same.

“Gothi!  What is with all this hullabaloo? We'rre not here to learn a chicken dance!” Stoick declared both anxiously and impatiently.  Gobber flinched as Gothi's staff swung around faster than could be believed of a frail looking little old lady, and knocked off the Chief's helmet. Then she wrote on her dirt floor with that same staff.  

Gobber read aloud for Stoick, “I dinnae tell ye how to run this village, then dinnae tell me how to diagnose mah pythons?”   WHACK!!  Gobber took a staff strike in the noggin himself for that blunder. Good thing he had a hard head.  “Patients!!” He quickly corrected, “Patients.”

Stoick sighed and impatiently sat back down indicating for Gothi to continue.

So Gothi looked at Hiccup and once again pointed to him to copy her little exercise.  Smiling a little from all the shenanigans, Hiccup didn't have any difficulty in mimicking Gothi's nose touchings.  Gothi then pointed to her eyes and repeated the exercise with her eyes closed. So Hiccup did the same, but this time he had much greater difficulty. He swayed back and forth like a drunkard, and couldn't touch his nose once. What on Earth?..... Hiccup thought to himself.

Eyes furrowed in concern and braving another reprimand, Stoick inquired, “Gothi, what’s wrong with him?”

Morosely, Gothi began to write in the dirt again. “Hiccup's eardrums are badly torn up, and from what I could see of the inner ears, much injury.”   

Unfortunately at such close proximity, the harmonics of the Night Fury screech, ruptured Hiccup's ear drums and obliterated all the microscopic hairs of his inner ears.

She waved her arm to Hiccup in a come here gesture so he could read her message as well and then added to it.  “This is why you have balance problems when your eyes are closed. There is something with the ears that helps us to balance.  I believe you will recover your sense of balance once your eardrums heal in a few months.” Gothi cleared up an unanswered question before anyone could ask. Telling them the body didn't only rely on the ears for balance but the eyes as well. “So during this time it will be safer for you to stay home during the dark hours.”  The hardest news to give brought tears to her eyes and it was probably a good thing she was mute or she'd be stuttering and sniffling in the process.  “I sorely regret to say you will never be able to hear again”

Because his loss of hearing had been so profound and complete, Hiccup thought he had been prepared to receive this news. Nevertheless he was stunned. Water pooled in his eyes and in a vain attempt to mask his weakness in front of his father, he squeezed his eyes shut. Forgetting the lesson from Gothi's testing, Hiccup became very dizzy and was about to fall over when his bear of a father caught him, and held him in a caring embrace. Feeling the warmth of the arms around him, Hiccup as quietly as he could released the deluge of tears breaking the dam of his eyelids. Even a few sobs escaped him. Stoick was crying as well for his son.  Hiccup looked up in shock when he felt drops not his own falling on his face as his head was turned to the side on his father's chest. Hiccup in turn squeezed his father's sides to try and return comfort. Gobber had become a blubbering mess after witnessing all this, scooped up Gothi and turned the whole scene into a group hug.

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Sign of the Chapter - Worry: Both hands assume the “B” shape with flattened fingers closed, thumbs tucked in. With both hands about 45 ° to each other tent like, wave them twice alternatingly in front of your face.

CHAPTER 3: THE PLAN

A few days had passed by and boredom finally overtook Hiccup's depression. “Yes I've lost my hearing and I'm not going to adapt overnight, but wallowing is just going to drive me crazier.” He had to get out, he was developing a serious case of Cabin Fever.

It was early morning so he didn't have to worry about the dark so much. His dad had left him a note on their table mentioning he had to attend to a tribal meeting regarding the dragon raids. If Hiccup needed anything he could ask the Thorston parents for help.

This is where his hearing loss proved to be the greatest difficulty. Communication. He could still speak to others, but they couldn't respond to or talk with him.  Isolation was beginning to set in. Even more so than before. Being a runt in the tribe he'd always felt somewhat left out. A few of his older peers also enjoyed picking on him if not downright bullying him.

With his dad otherwise occupied, Hiccup figured this was an ideal situation. He would pack some food and water and head back out to where he last saw that Night Fury.  Stashing his supplies and a first aid kit in a rucksack, he scribbled a quick note for his father, letting him know he was going for a walk out around Talons Hollow near Raven Point.  Hiccup realized now more than ever he had to let his father know where he was going in the event something happened to him.  Hiccup knew there was a freshwater pond there with fish.  He may just find his black dragon there if he was lucky.  It was actually very close to where the dragon had fallen after he had shot it down.

Hiccup began his trek but didn't realize that Tuffnut and Snotlout had been waiting for such an opportunity. Snotlout was a beefy, stocky teen but short by Viking standards.  Snotlout got a kick out of picking on Hiccup.  Out of all of his close acquaintances, Snotlout could be considered a true bully.  For him, Hiccup was just too easy of a target.  Tuffnut, a tall slender goof off with long blond dreadlocks, just liked to prank people with his twin sister, Ruffnut. She strongly resembled her brother but with fine well kept hair. They were never out to hurt anyone but themselves.  She wasn't available at the moment though, so he teamed up with the Lout.  

Team TuffSnot snuck up behind Hiccup and screamed as loud as they could, “DRAGON!”  --- Nothing, not even a jump or a twitch. They had happily anticipated a frenzied scurry for safety of the Hiccup. Yeah, it wasn't the most original idea, but it didn't usually take much to make the twerp scramble in a panic attack.

A black figure had been hiding in the shadows watching the stout bulky young-ling and walking branch of long light fur try to startle his Viking of mercy.

His lack of reaction disturbed The One of Night.  Ever since this adopted young-ling of his granted him mercy, he felt drawn to learn more of him.

He certainly stood out from the uncouth imbeciles who so moronically tried to frighten him. To a slight extent The Black one could understand why.  Amongst many other animals the runts were often shunned, even killed by the parents.

This behaviour seemed ironic considering how humans usually considered themselves superior to all other creatures.

The only advantage he saw to humans was their ability to communicate via spoken language. Even the dragons didn't have this faculty. That and the inventiveness of their fore-paws.

Snotlout called out, “Tuff!  We're not giving up that easily. I need my weekly fix of a weekly Hiccup laugh. We need to keep fish-bone in his place. Go get a fishnet fast. We'll set up a little surprise for our little buddy yet.”

In response Tuff said, “Hey dude, I'm the one who's supposed to be the master trickster of Loki, but I like your thinking.” so off and running went Tuff.

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In the Great Hall, Chief Stoick had called a meeting of his clan heads. Spitelout Jorgenson, Captain of the Guard and father of Snotlout who was also secondary heir to the chief. Gobber the Belch, Master Blacksmith. Mulch Fertal, Master Farmer/Fisherman. Bucket Hardhead, Farmer/Fisherman. Gothi Patchemup, Master Healer. Phlegma the Fierce, Sergeant at arms and Silent Sven, Master Herdsman.

“I called this meetin’ to inforrm ye that do tae some unforrtunate accident, mah son and heir has lost his hearrin’ ------ perrmanently.”  There was a hush amongst the council and Stoick almost thought he had lost his own hearing.  

Phlegma broke the silence and asked, “Do ye know why?”  

Stoick replied, “Gothi tells me only some kind o’ loud noise could ‘ave done the damage that hurrt Hiccup. Hiccup tells me he doesnae rrecall wha’ happened.  Gothi believes this is possible as such a noise could have knocked him out and caused him to forrget wha’ happened.”  This had been a little white lie on Hiccup’s part.  He knew his father hated dragons both for their raiding of his village, and having flown off with his mother Valka fourteen and half winters ago while Hiccup was still a babe.  Hiccup had not wanted to fuel the fire of his father’s hatred further by admitting it was a dragon that caused his hearing loss.

Despite his ill feelings over the hearing loss, Hiccup did not resent the Night Fury.  He concluded it was just the dragon's way of telling him to back off.  That Fury could have killed him, but didn’t.  Other than his lost hearing, the dragon hadn’t even scratched him and there was no way the dragon would have known what he had done to Hiccup’s ears.

Spitelout then spoke up next.  “Does that mean ye will make mah son, Snotlout prrimarry heir of Berrk?  How can someone who is deaf lead the trribe?”  Stoick knew that Spitelout, the husband of his sister was ambitious for his son, but the question was legitimate as well.  Stoick hadn’t made Spitelout Captain of the Guard without trusting him.  

Stoick in turn answered, “Hiccup is only fifteen and therre will be many morre winterrs beforre he would ‘ave to take the rrole o’ Chief.  I wish to explorre morre options beforre makin’ a final decision.  I will tell ye this Spitelout, we will begin Snotlout's trrainin’ as Chief as soon as possible, in the event that Hiccup cannae afterr all assume the rrole o’ Chief himself.” As much as he respected Spitelout, Stoick prayed to Odin that a better solution would present itself.  Snotlout was an arrogant little turd with the leadership skills of a slug.

“Alrright Stoick, I will starrt off his trrainin’ with the duties o’ Captain o’ the guarrd.  Afterrall I am yer backup if somethin’ werre ta happen to ye beforre Hiccup could step in.  Neitherr o’ them arre yet old enough forr the rresponsibility.” Spitelout explained to his Chief.  

Nodding his head Stoick reluctantly agreed, “Aye, that sounds rreasonable.”

Phlegma then spoke up. “Chief!  I may ‘ave a possible solution forr ye.” Stoick’s head snapped around in amazement.  

“How’s that?!” he hopefully exclaimed.  

“My sisterr-in-law, Énjal  Hofferrson o’ the Bog Burrglars is deaf, and her daughter Astrrid was enrrolled in The Scholarr's Institute o’ Bog Island to become an ASL-Norrse interrpreter.  She may have grraduated alrready.”

Gothi scratched out on the floor with her walking staff, “ASL? What is that?”  Gobber, acting as her interpreter, read out loud “ABC?”

WHUMP! Rubbing his head after Gothi’s swing to his head with her staff, Gobber complained, “I rreally need ta make somethin’ ta help with ma vision.”

Gothi scratched out, “You need to go back to school.  Try again.” So Gobber took another crack at it.  “ASL? What is that?”  He smiled.

Phlegma explained that ASL stood for Archipelago Sign Language.  A language of the hands developed by the deaf and hard of hearing citizens of the Archipelago.

Mentally Stoick cheered a prayer, Thank you fatherr Odin. Holy smokes ye worrk fast! Stoick grew very excited. He clapped his bear paw hands together and rubbed them in a twisting motion.  “Yes! That sounds good! That’s the plan then! I will arrange to sail to the Bog Burglars and arrange a contrract with this Miss Hofferrson to come and worrk as ma son’s interrpreter. Excellent!” Stoick was so excited with this news that he just plum walked out of the council meeting to get ready for his voyage.

The others just stared at his beefy back side and billowing bear fur cape. “Meetin’ adjourrned.” declared Spitelout with a shrug of his shoulders.

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A/N (Author’s Note): Regarding sign language I am no expert. If any of the deaf community comes across my story, feel free to submit corrections. Personally I am fairly fluent in Signed Exact English S.E.E. and have minimal knowledge of ASL (AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE for those of the hearing community) thanks to my daughter who is actually an ASL - English interpreter.  In this story I will refer to ASL but call it Archipelago Sign Language to better fit the HTTYD theme. Someone who is near and dear to me is a late deafened adult, and that is where my personal experience comes in.

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Sign of the Chapter - Trap: Form a five shape claw with your dominant hand, and have it clap down on your secondary hand, palm up, as if to catch a mouse.

CHAPTER 4: SENSES

Tuffnut was locking the trip cord in place while Snotlout was holding down the flexible tree trunk. They had arranged the booby trap with a fishnet for Hiccup after determining his path. That was easy as he had been following a well used deer trail.

“Gah! Do you ever bathe Tuffnut?” Which was a comical question coming from Snotlout, who bathed maybe every two weeks.

“Yeah, about two months ago. I'm going for a record to see if I can make my skin crawl.”

That was their second mistake. The first was being downwind of Hiccup. It seemed like he had been following a pungent smell for about two thousand strides now. And it was only getting stronger. Oddly enough he actually recognized the odours apart from the surrounding vegetation. What are Snot and Tuff up to? He wondered to himself. Keeping a wary eye open for the two buffoons, he saw an odd looking tree. It was bent all the way over. A larger tree had been hiding the end of it so he carefully moved to the side to see what it was doing. Hiccup spotted the two numbskulls setting their trap.

He wondered if he could turn the trap back on them.  To his distant left was the face of a rock wall. Before he had lost his hearing, Hiccup had gotten pretty good at mimicking several dragon calls. Cupping his hands in front of his face like a makeshift bullhorn, he let out a Monstrous Nightmare cry towards the rock wall.

He wasn't sure if this would work since he couldn't hear, but it seemed to work like a charm. Both boys froze looking at the cliff, looked at each other and bolted in the opposite direction. Hiccup ducked down so they wouldn't spot him, but about five seconds later a blue ball of light whizzed by overhead from the direction the two boys ran in and Hiccup saw team TuffSnot running back into their own trap. In the blink of an eye both boys were upended into the air.

Hiccup started to howl with laughter. So much so he was in danger of turning his under pants yellow. He was so loud however he had Snotlout turning red with fury.  The problem here was, since Hiccup couldn't hear himself he wasn't able to regulate his own vocal volume.

Perhaps five hundred running strides away, his black co-conspirator was mimicking Hiccup's laughter in draconic fashion. The boy had actually startled him as well. At the moment because of his injured tail, The Black One was unable to fly so when he heard a Monstrous Nightmare he immediately became defensive.  As with the eagles, The Black Stealth was able to narrow his field of vision like binoculars. That's when he spotted his young cub howling like a dragon and then his two would-be tormentors running like Elk in his direction. Not wanting to be discovered and to aid his young-ling, The dark dragon let loose with a harmless glow ball.  That had the two pranksters doing an about face and running into their own trap.

After Hiccup finally caught his breath, he walked right under the two boys and went on his merry way.  Hiccup wasn’t concerned for their safety.  He knew either of the boys carried blades on them and would eventually get themselves down.

Snotface Snotlout Jorgenson was furious and screaming bloody murder at Hiccup to get them down, but to no avail. Tuff was just scratching his head. How could the kid not hear the Snot? Then Snotlout became deathly quiet.  Tuff’s eyes widened when he saw why.  Creeping out from some concealing branches was the blackest dragon they had ever seen.  It looked up at them and growled deep within its throat, along with a blue glow between its razor sharp teeth.  The Dark One suddenly stopped.  The stout stocky boy was leaking yellow water from his leg. The One of Black sniffed at this fluid and flinched back. This feeble boy couldn’t even hold his own bladder. The Blackest of Black sat up on his haunches, narrowed his pupils at the boys in the suspended net and let loose a small blue fireball.  The two so called ruffians fell to the ground with grunts as they got the wind knocked out of them. The One of Onyx looked down at them, growled gently, and Team TuffSnot ran for the hills, that is The Village as fast as their legs could hustle.

The Invisible Dark One followed his creative adopted one to see what kind of adventure he could be lead to next.  It was safe to call this scamp Hiccup for that is the name the snotty one had screamed at him.  He had also heard them call him Hiccup earlier when they so pathetically tried to scare him.

Hiccup just carried on with his intended hike.  He was maybe fifty long strides from Talons Hollow, a beautiful little sunken cove.  He sat on a rock to have a quick snack of dried grainy bread, cheese and salted fish. While Hiccup munched away he felt the ground rumble. Not a constant one, but what felt like drum beats in the ground. He paused his chewing to look around, but the thumping stopped. He looked behind again, but nothing. A sudden breeze stirred his auburn hair and he looked again in the direction of the breeze.  He’s not sure but he thought he glimpsed a black silhouette zip over one of the rocks leading to the cove.  “I must be imagining things.” He mumbled to himself. Perhaps a trick of the light and shadows caused by the branches and leaves of the trees around him. Finishing his snack with a drink of water from his clay flask, he proceeded into the cove of Talons Hollow.

As Hiccup passed between two sizable boulders he looked down to see what resembled black disks. He picked them up for a closer inspection and concluded they were dragon scales.  He was right, “or at least I think I’m pretty sure I’m right about this being where my dragon came to seek shelter.”

He was right and wrong.  The black one was panicked. He had dove over the boulders to escape detection from the boy, but did not realize he had fallen into what was essentially a pit. In his fear he began to shed scales like an anxious cat sheds fur.

A swift shadow caused Hiccup to duck, and wonder what was going on when he felt a rain of rock dust fall on him.  There was that black beauty scrabbling like a fiend in a futile attempt to escape his prison. Hiccup saw him fall to the floor of the cove and spread his wings at the last seconds to avoid a bone breaking impact. Even then the dragon landed hard bouncing once. His dragon made another exasperated attempt on the far wall of the cove only to result in the same disappointing failure.

As his black dragon spun in a slow circle on the bottom of the cove, Hiccup saw his opportunity. He snatched out his notebook and made a quick and detailed sketch of the dragons anatomy as seen from above.  Observing how this dragon's wingspan was nearly three times as wide as the length of its body, why couldn't it just fly out of the cove. With such a ratio that dragon should essentially be capable of a rapid and vertical ascent.

As his dragon; why was he thinking of this magnificent creature as his? These strong willed creatures could not be tamed or owned like livestock. They were their own free wills as were Hiccup and his fellow vikings. As he re-examined this Night Fury, Hiccup decided it was still easier to refer to the dragon as his. Not out of ownership, but responsibility. He shot it down and now for whatever reason the dragon seemed unable to fly more than short gliding hops.  His drake attempted to catch a fish in the pond but miserably failed.  That's when Hiccup saw it. The injured tail. It appeared half his Night Fury’s tail was missing, still raw and oozing a clearish red fluid.  Perhaps the Night Fury reinjured it some in his struggles. Overcome with a sense of shame and guilt, Hiccup's eyes welled up for the hurt he perpetrated on this dragon. He momentarily closed his eyes and sorrowfully shook his head.

First his charcoal stylus fell.  When would he ever learn.

The black one was furious. He was beginning to think this Hiccup was far more intelligent than he first suspected, and had laid out a carefully devised trap for him. He was now exhausted from his several attempts to escape his prison. The black knight sat at the edge of the pond pondering his situation when he saw a trout. He feebly attempted to catch it but failed miserably. Two twittering sparrows flew overhead and he jealously looked up that them. Then he heard something fall from the rocks. At first all he saw was a short falling stick but where did that come from? Looking for the point of origin he looked up only to see his boy falling off the rocks. The Swift one managed a great leap over the pond, spread his wings under the boy, and caught him like a safety net.

Disoriented, Hiccup did not realize what had happened until he was on the base of the cove. Wondering how he managed falling without even a scratch, he looked around and was stunned and confused. There was the black form of the Night Fury on the far side of the pond eyeing him warily.  Hiccup cautiously moved backwards not wanting to antagonize this dragon who had already caused his loss of hearing merely by screaming at him.

That's when he remembered his sketchbook and looked around for it frantically. Seeing it on the ground in front of him, Hiccup very slowly walked forward toward the dragon. The black one squatted down flattened his echo locators and snarled.  Hiccup paused and raised his hands to show they were empty. The black dragon stopped his snarling, but remained ready to pounce.  Bending over slowly Hiccup retrieved his book, and opened it to the page where he had drawn the Dragon. He slowly opened it to show the Dragon what he was picking up.  The stealthy one sat up on his haunches gurgling a happy growl while tilting his head when he saw the image of another night fury on the pages of the boys book.  Spotting his charcoal  stylus on the ground, Hiccup again bent over and picked it up. He then used the gummy end of the stick to erase half the tail of the Night Fury in his sketch and again showed it to the black drake.  This time the drake tilted his head the other way immediately seeing the difference, then turned his head 180 degrees to look at his own tail. With a gummy grin the onyx dragon looked back to Hiccup and nodded his head.

This small gesture amazed Hiccup. This was no brainless animal. His dragon understood that the drawing was a depiction of itself, and confirmed that fact with an affirmative gesture of his head. As simple as that may seem, that conveyed a complex understanding of communication.

“Oh wow!  You actually understood me!  That's just amazing! Hey bud? Maybe we can become friends?” and in Hiccup's exuberance he rushed to his dragon then froze.  Perhaps the dragon couldn't understand everything, as the black drake squatted low again, baring his teeth and growling.

The dark drake was still not aware of the loss of his boys hearing, but the emotional language of his posture, expression and eyes were more than adequate communication for his boy to understand. Trust was still a long ways off.  Maybe.

Looking up at the sky around the cove, Hiccup spoke to his black dragon once again.  “I have some balance issues because of my hearing loss, so I have to get back home before it gets dark. I'll come and see you again tomorrow.”  Glancing at the pond Hiccup remembered how hard of a time this dragon had catching a fish. “And I'll bring you some breakfast as well.”

The boy scrabbled up the embankment and ran for home. Quirking his head sideways and perplexed the gummy one thought Brrehhkffest? What is that? I hope it's something to eat.

Then he was shocked. Did the youngling say he lost his hearing?  It was the dragons turn to feel sorrow and regret for he was quite certain that he was responsible for the boys lost hearing. This Fury of the night turned in a circle scorching the earth with his fire breath to warm it. He then hunkered down, covered his head with his paws and mewled pitifully in sorrow before falling asleep.

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Sign of the Chapter - Black: With your dominant hand, stroke your forehead with only your index finger, from side to side, starting from the opposite of your dominant side. This is like when someone wipes their forehead while saying “Phew”.   :-)

CHAPTER 5: IMPULSE

Stoick the Vast, all who hear his name and tremble, ugg ugg, was in the process of packing his personal belongings in a duffel sized rucksack when Hiccup walked through the door.  “Oh, son, I’m glad ye’re ‘ere. I have a few things ta discuss with ye.”

Hiccup smirked and said, “Hey Dad. I see your hairy lips moving but nothing's coming out!”

Stoick was in a good mood after the news he heard at the morning meeting. He laughed heartily at Hiccup's little joke, so he comically slapped his forehead and shook it side to side.

Then Stoick took out a few sheets of parchment and began writing to Hiccup. “I have good news. Phlegma told me of a wonderful interpreter on the Island of Bog. I'm going on a voyage to negotiate her contract to come and work as your interpreter. Thank Thor on Midgard that all this writing stuff down can come to an end.  And another thing. To help you pass the time I've enrolled you in Dragon training with Gobber.  When you carry this axe, you can walk like us, talk like us and think like us. And this helmet is for you. A gift from your mom. One of a matching set.”

Now before Hiccup had a chance to read the note, Stoick shoved the axe in Hiccup's arms and put the helmet on his head.

“Dad!? Wha-what's all this stu-stuff for?” Hiccup stuttered aghast. Stoick excitedly just pointed to the note.

Hiccup started responding to each point in the letter while looking down at it. “What do I need an interpreter for? ---- Dragon training? Dad I'm pretty sure I can't kill dragons. ----- Matching set from mom?” After giving that last some thought he shivered in disgust.  “Never mind---”. Then Hiccup looked up to get his answers, but Stoick had disappeared.

Oh Thor, Hiccup thought. My life is about to get turned upside down, ---- even more so than it is now.

Suddenly Hiccup felt the floor bump slightly. “What the?.....” he counted five bumps.  He went to the door and put his hand on the wooden lever to open it and he could feel it shake and the floor bounce at the same time. Someone had been pounding on the door.  He pushed it open fast and accidentally smacked Gobber in the nose.

“I'm beginnin’ ta get a complex, between Gothi, an’ now yoo.” Gobber whined while rubbing his nose. Hiccup raised both his hands in an apologetic gesture and at the same time said “I'm beginning to feel like a Starling, constantly repeating myself. Gobber, I didn't hear a word you said, but sorry for hitting you with the door. Please come in.”

Gobber carried a small cauldron of hot yak stew in his left prosthetic hook hand. He put it down by the Haddock fire pit and shook his hook and grimaced in pain and mockingly scolded Hiccup saying, “That's hot!”

Hiccup smirked at his antics able to lip read that much, and then he went to get a couple of bowls, spoons, cups and bread.

While they ate Hiccup slid over the note his father wrote and nodded while he read.  Gobber looked at Hiccup, was about to say something then grabbed the parchment and charcoal and wrote for Hiccup. “Pretty much straight forward.”

“Not quite Gobber. The Dragon training and my breast ha--- helmet are,” Hiccup turned red with embarrassment, “but what's this nonsense about an interpreter?”

Again Gobber wrote down about what they learned from Phlegma the Fierce at the morning meeting.

“And my dad thinks I'm impulsive. Even if there is this wonderful new language for the deaf, new to us anyway, how does Dad think that's going to help me? The language has to be known to be understood. When this interpreter starts doing her job, it will only be gibberish to me.”

Gobber sighed, scratched the back of his neck and put charcoal to paper. “Well boyo, you do have a point. But like you said 'tis a new language for all of us too, so we know very little about it. Even Phlegma didn't know that much about it, only that her sister-in-law was deaf, and used this sign language to talk with.”

Hiccup nodded in resigned understanding. “Okay Gobber, and what about Dragon training. When does this start?”

“Moon’s day, mid morning. When the sun reaches Flightmare Sea Stack.” Was Gobber's answer. That was four days away.

Mentally Hiccup laughed. For such an anti-dragon culture, there seemed to be a lot of references to dragons in their nomenclature. They even put depictions of dragons as the figureheads of their longships.  Dad had even named his ship “The Sea Dragon”.

Gobber was his mentor in the forge and like a second father, but he was also Dad's best friend, so he wasn't going to tell Gobber that he couldn't kill dragons, but Hiccup decided to attend the classes anyway. Hiccup figured he could still learn a lot about dragons by observing them.

Suddenly Hiccup felt the table bouncing a little, zoned back in and saw Gobber knocking on the table to get his attention. Gobber then pointed at another paper. It read “Thanks for sharing my meal. Get some rest. I'm giving you the day off tomorrow from working in the forge. Don't be late for class or the dragon might just get Hiccup drumsticks for lunch.”

Hiccup looked up at Gobber and was perplexed until he saw Gobber's big exaggerated wink. Hiccup stood up and offered his left leg. Smiling back, he thanked Gobber for his meal and walked him to the door. It was starting to get dark.

Hiccup lit a candle and decided to head for bed early. His balance was still a long ways from recovering so he may as well follow the sun's schedule for a while. Besides, he had planned to bring his dragon breakfast.

He opened his sketch book one more time to look at that black dragon, and an idea popped up like a surprise burp.  He turned the page over and sketched a design for an artificial fin. He grabbed his measuring strip and put it in his rucksack so he wouldn't forget it.

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Sign of the Chapter - Impulsive: Three gestures are needed for this word.  First touch your chin with your dominant thumb, and flick it out with a twist away from you, with a slight side to side shake of your head (Not). Next touch your dominant temple with your dominant index finger (Think). Finally with both flattened “B” hands (fingers closed and thumbs out) horizontal and fingers facing each other make a brief rolling motion and make a slightly dumb expression on your face. (Roughly means Ahead) Not + Think + Ahead = Impulsive or to act without thinking ahead.

CHAPTER 6: TRUST

Hiccup may have been small for his age but considerably stronger than he looked. No he wasn't beefy like his peers, but apprenticing with Gobber was not an easy task, physically that is.

Carrying a shield on his right arm, and a basket of fish over his left shoulder, he managed the three kilo-stride hike to Talons Hollow with just one short break.

Trying to squeak through the two boulders allowing him access to the sunken cove, Hiccup accidentally wedged the shield between the two boulders. He gave it a weak tug but couldn't be bothered at the moment to give the effort to free it.  So he put the basket down, squatted under the shield and pulled the basket behind him.

Once he got down to the floor of the cove, he took out a fish for that dragon. He was hoping to entice it with a friendly peace offering.

“Now where did you go?” Hiccup questioned aloud, looking around for the black drake.

The Onyx Drake looked down on his Viking, trying to think of a way to get his attention realizing that Hiccup would not be able to hear a bark or a growl.  He decided to try the same glow-ball trick with Hiccup that he had used to frighten those bullies.  He rolled his tongue around in his mouth to build up saliva, released just a touch of his plasma gas and essentially made a large spit bubble with it. This time he only gently expelled it so it would float and plop down near Hiccup.  

Hiccup was amazed when he saw this glowing bubble float down past him, and surprised when it popped with a flash upon hitting the pointy grass. That certainly caught his attention and he did a 180° turn and looked up to see that bubbly dragon high on a boulder, prancing like a kitten about to pounce on its prey.  Not sure whether or not he was the prey, Hiccup cautiously backed up, but held out the fish in front of him.

That in turn got the attention of the dragon’s nose and belly. Slipping down from the boulder, the Night Fury slowly advanced towards Hiccup. Then he froze and snarled, showing his razor white teeth.  He had encountered enough of man's dangerous metal stingers that he could recognize the odour of iron from kilo-paces away if the wind was blowing right.  The dark one gestured with his head for this Hiccup to discard his blade.  Hiccup looked down at his waist and understood.  He dropped the dagger, and then toed it away into the pond.  This kind of surprised the dragon.  He wasn’t expecting the boy to actually dispose of it.

Feeling less threatened the Night One again approached Hiccup opening his jaws for the fish offering, showing a gummy smile.

“Huh, toothless! I could have sworn you had --- “

SHNICK

And before Hiccup could realize it, shark like teeth appeared and the fish was snatched. “--- Teeth!”

Toothless then approached the boy who started to panic a little.

Hiccup was backed up to a boulder and couldn’t go any further, so he slid down. “I don’t have any more on me.”

Toothless started making a peculiar noise, and Hiccup could see the Night Fury’s stomach spasming. Next thing he knew the tail end of a fish ended up in his lap. Hiccup didn’t exactly know what to make of this “gift”, and looked at the dragon for clarification.

The dragon looked at the fish. Hiccup looked at the fish. Hiccup looked at the dragon.  The dragon looked at Hiccup and then the fish. Hiccup looked at the fish, and then Toothless. Toothless smacked his lips and looked at the fish.  Hiccup sighed.  This was supposed to be a shared meal, but Hiccup hadn’t been planning on sushi for lunch. So bracing himself against a gag reflex, Hiccup bit into the “slightly” underdone fish and pulled off a bite, and just kept it in his mouth.

That Night Fury was no dummy, and looked right at Hiccup and exaggerated a swallowing action of his throat. So with some difficulty, and only a single gag, Hiccup downed his sushi, and then gave Toothless a lopsided quirky grin.  

Curious, Toothless tried to mimic Hiccup’s grin.

After seeing how friendly his dragon was trying to be, Hiccup stood and with an outstretched hand tried to walk up and pet this dragon.

Toothless was not going to be quite that open in their relationship yet, so he gave a quick grimace and hop glided to the other side of the pond.

“Oh great. And hear I was hoping to take some measurements of your tail.” Toothless wasn’t sure what that meant.  What did he want to do with my tail?  Didn’t he already do enough damage to ground and endanger me? He thought to himself.

Hiccup un-shouldered his rucksack, and took out his measuring strip to show his dragon.  “See?  Harmless.  I just want to find out how long your tail fin is.”

Toothless still didn’t comprehend what was being said by his Hiccup.  These were things not of a concern to a dragon so those words were not in the vocabulary of what he understood. The boy was beginning to pester him so he covered his face with his tail to ignore the boy.

But Vikings have stubbornness issues, and Hiccup thought What a great opportunity! So he hustled over with his measuring strip, but before he could take his first measure, Toothless dropped his tail, glared at Hiccup, and flew off to hang upside down in a tree.

“Argh. I need to get these measurements so I can fix your tail.” Hiccup barely grumbled.  Toothless heard him anyway and wondered at what the boy said.  Fix my tail?  That can be done?

In temporary frustration Hiccup walked back to the sushi boulder and remembered about the rest of the fish in the basket. So he shouted over to the dragon, “Hey Toothless, did you want the rest of your breakfast?  I didn’t just bring one fish!”

Why would the human call him Toothless? The dragon of Onyx thought about it then realizing why, he gave a draconic laugh. Then he got really interested when Hiccup dumped that straw bin over and a whole mess of fish fell out of it.  Toothless very excitedly bounced back and dug into the rest of his meal.  This gave Hiccup the time he needed to get his measurements.

“Okay Toothless, I have to get back myself.  I have to attend to my own meal so I can finish this project in the forge.”  Toothless gave a little wave of his tail and continued with the rest of his fish.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Trust: Hold both open claw shaped hands, secondary hand to wrist of dominant hand, palms up.  Drop both hands together slightly as you close them into fists as you slightly nod your head. Trust.

CHAPTER 7: NEGOTIATIONS

After only four days thanks to good tail winds, Big Boobied Bertha gave Stoick the Vast a hug that would have given the back of a lesser man a severe chiropractic adjustment.

About ten winters back Bertha started to fancy Stoick as a possible mate. He was about the only man she knew who was substantial enough to tolerate her --- er --- affections.

Stoick was well aware of this, but he also knew the big breasted woman as well.  After the hug he checked his person patting himself down.  Making a mental checklist, Yes, mah belt, mah pants, mah skivvies, oh…. “Okay Berrtha, give me back mah pouch o’ gold”.  

By now Bertha also knew she couldn't pull a fast one on Stoick.  Smirking, she gave Stoick the pouch back and he double checked the contents. She was still proud of her skills however. Despite keeping his pouch near his family jewels, Bertha was still able to “lift” the pouch without his noticing it.

Being the Chief of Berk, he had to know how to handle his finances, and just by fingering the pouch, he was able to deduce he had been short changed. “alright Berrtha, hand it overr. I'm shorrt one coin.”

Bertha grinned and poked out the coin from between her teeth. “Come and get it.” She managed to say around the coin, hoping for a smooch.

Stoick returned the smile and told her, “Neverr mind, keep it as mah docking fee.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After his noon meal Gobber walked into the forge to see his apprentice hard at it, working on some kind of rod. Four others of different lengths already completed.

“What ya doin’ therre boyo?” Gobber stood there waiting for an answer.  Then he slapped his forehead for forgetting, and tapped Hiccup's shoulder. Hiccup had been deep in concentration, his hammer on an upswing when Gobber tapped him.  He let out a yelp and the hammer went flying up in the air and arced back down, fortunately onto Gobber's ever present helmet with a gong. “Oy, that'll teach me for sneakin’ up on a deaf man with a hammer.” He exclaimed.

Hiccup blanched in chagrin. “Oh Gobber! I'm so sorry! You startled me!”

Gobber grabbed his pad of parchment to write, “‘Tis okay laddie. I've taken worse hits than that.  I thought I gave you the day off.  What’re you up to?”

Hiccup nervously stuttered, “Uh -- oh -- I thought I'd try uh my hand at uh model ship building, as a stepping stone to uh teaching myself how to sail.”

Raising an eyebrow Gobber asked curiously, “Is that so?” That was an easy lip read, so Hiccup pointed to the leather sail he had cut for Toothless's tail fin. Gobber raised both his eyebrows.

He quickly scribbled down, “With a sail that big it looks like you're building your own ship.”

Hiccup just smirked and fibbed. “I wanted a realistic scale to see if the rib rods would make it too top heavy.”

Gobber nodded in understanding and told him to carry on, but that he would need to use his forge in an hour's time. He had work to do as well.

“No problem boss. This was my last rod. Give me another quarter hour of the sundial and I'll be out of your hair.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what brrings you to bog Island this time, Stoick?” Bertha asked. “I happily rrenewed oor five yearr alliance six months ago.”

Although Stoick dearly loved Bertha as a friend, he was reluctant to tell her about Hiccup losing his hearing. He didn't want word getting out about this in case not so friendly tribes attempted to conquer Berk when Hiccup took the leadership. Although he appeared weak physically, Hiccup had a strength of will and mind that he could only have received from his beloved Valka. Brawn was a good trait in a leader, but intelligence and wisdom more so. Hiccup had intelligence, no doubt, but wisdom would come with time and experience.

“We ‘ad a young lad wash up on oor shorres a couple o’ weeks ago, and he apparrently cannae hear.  He keeps waving his hands in the air but we didn't know wha’ to make o’ this at firrst. Then Phlegma, mah Serrgeant at Arrms rrecognized a little of it. She told me it was sign language for the Deaf, but didn't underrstand it herrself.  She also told me therre was a ASL? - Norrse interprreter serrvice agency on your Island. I was hopin’ to hire an interprreter for Hi -” Stoick nearly let Hiccup's name slip out, “- him.  Maybe he knows some inforrmation of another trribe who may mean us harrm.”

This was plausible and Bertha was more than willing to help.  “Of courrse Stoick, I'll take you rright to the Scholar's Institute.  That's wherre the agency is located.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiccup sat on the floor of the arena, breathing hard and terrified, an orange glowing hole in the wall beside him.

“Go back ta bed ya big galoot. You'll ‘ave anotherr chance!” Gobber yelled at the Gronkle while snagging it with his prosthetic hook, and swinging it back into its holding cell.

When Gobber returned to Hiccup he squatted down in front of him and spoke very loudly for the other teens to hear, “A drragon will always, ALWAYS go forr the kill!”

Hiccup's lip reading skills were improving. Or so he thought. The only thing Hiccup could think about at the time was,Then why didn't Toothless? He wanted to debate this with Gobber, but now wasn't the place and not with the kids near him.

“Oh man that was so entertaining, what stunt are you going to pull off tomorrow?” asked Tuff sarcastically.

Hiccup saw him speak but not understanding him he just meekly shrugged and walked away from the others. Considering his loner status with the others, this response seemed quite normal for him.

Ruff jokingly exclaimed, “Maybe he'll offer up one of his legs for a snack, and win over the next dragon's love that way. You know what they say, the way to a dragon's heart is through his stomach.”

Snotlout debated that. “Nah, I don't think so. It would just choke on the fish-bone!”. They all laughed at this except for Fishlegs. Because of his size, the others didn't pick on him like they did Hiccup, but Fishlegs never participated in their demeaning treatment of Hiccup.  He had more in common with Hiccup than the others in that he liked to read and learn.  He was glad that all this ribbing didn't seem to bother Hiccup.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bertha lead Stoick into a spacious looking chamber with a wall of books behind the largish orange haired woman sitting at a desk. A large window on the south wall allowed for natural lighting in the room.

The woman made the universal sign for hello to both Bertha and Stoick, who recognizing a wave hello returned the greeting. Then she did something that fascinated Stoick. Placing her right flattened hand on her chest she made a circle, followed by placing her middle and index fingers of her right hand flat onto the same fingers of her left hand just in front of her chest, then pointed to the chairs in front of her desk.

From the doorway on the adjacent wall to the bookshelf they heard the voice of a very young woman, almost girlish. “Please have a seat.”

Stoick took a seat and was really hoping Bertha would occupy herself elsewhere.

As if on cue Bertha declared, “Please excuse me, but I have chiefing duties to attend to.” To Stoick she said with a big wink  “Don't forget to come and say goodbye.”  With that she departed.

Bertha knew that those who are deaf and hard of hearing we're just as intelligent as others, but she still felt uncomfortable in their presence.  That was the only time she felt slightly intimidated because she didn't feel equal to them, but inferior. At least when it came to communication.

Stoick nonchalantly waved goodbye, when he saw the Director wave to the girl to come in. And she must have been a girl for she looked to be about the same age as Hiccup. Stoick stood up as a girl of such beauty nearly took his breath away. This young lady had a nicely rounded face, a petite nose, but not too small, hair that was whitish gold like the glow of the sun in a beautiful French braid that cascaded down her left shoulder. Her eyes were pools of a light blue, reminiscent of shallow water on the brightest of sunny days.  She wore a simple short sleeved teal top, brown leggings with a darker brown skirt of leather straps with short metal spikes and bird skulls at the top of each strap.  At that first glimpse of the young lady the Chief mentally said “Herre is mah future daugh’er-in-law.”

She held out her hand to shake his, but it was more like a baby gripping a parent's finger.  She gave his finger a good firm squeeze and shake nevertheless. Then she stood politely to the side but closer to Stoick.  This puzzled Stoick at first, but he quickly came to understand why.  At first the director patted her chest a single time with her flattened hand, and then using the same finger shapes for the sign of sit, she touched her right fingers on her left fingers but on the edges this time forming a horizontal cross, followed by the woman holding her right hand in front of her four fingers resting on her thumb, then touching her shoulder and flicking out her flattened hand to her right reminiscent of a bird's wing. This was followed by a sequence of flying fingers and hand shapes finger spelling her name. Again the woman followed up with another flurry of signs which also included pointing to the young lady.

The young blonde translated for Stoick as he watched these flying hand gestures. His eyeballs nearly spinning out of his sockets.

“My name is Esdra. I am the director of the Deaf Culture Program here at Bog Island Scholar's Institute. This is Astrid Hofferson, this year's top graduate of the interpreter program.” Astrid blushed at the praise but kept up a professional flow. “How can we be of service Mister ----?” And Esdra ended by holding her hands out, elbows bent, palms up shrugging her shoulders slightly and making a small circle with both hands to query the question of his name.

Looking at Astrid Stoick stuttered, “Uh -- oh -- mah name is Stoick the Vast, Chief of Berrk…” Suddenly Astrid stopped him by raising a hand and then signed to Esdra.

“Excuse me please Master Esdra, I wish to educate the chief on a little protocol.” Astrid said this aloud as well so that Stoick wouldn't be left in the dark.

“By all means, go ahead.” Esdra signed with a smirk.

Astrid directed her following comments directly to the Chief, but also signed at the same time allowing Esdra to follow along. “Please, when addressing Esdra, look and speak to her. I am her interpreter and I will do my job.  It is after all common courtesy to look at the person you are speaking to. Thank you sir, and please excuse my interruption.”

Stoick was not upset at all, in fact looking at Esdra he said, “Please accept mah apologies dirrector, and thank you Astrrid forr pointin’ that oot.” Stoick then rubbed his hands together and spoke up again. “Well then, ta answerr your question, I wish to hirre an interprreter of sign language to work on mah Island. Therre is a young man on the Island whom I trreasure, but he is in need of yer serrvices.  If possible I would love to hire miss Hofferrson ‘ere as she was rrecommended to me by her Aunt Phlegma the Fierrce.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Training had been cut short thanks to Hiccup's close call in the arena, and he couldn't have  been happier. He bought another basket of fish from Bucket who was so absent-minded he didn't question how Hiccup could have gone through all that fish so soon.  After that Hiccup carried it to his lodge, prepared his rucksack, and gathered up the new tail fin for Toothless.

Upon reaching the cove, Hiccup nearly had to start from scratch as if the dragon had forgotten him. One substantial difference was Toothless didn't try to share sushi with him again.

Now Hiccup remembered how reluctant Toothless was the day before to make contact with him, but not today. As soon as Hiccup held out his hand, Toothless nosed it as if to say “Thank-you.” That was with a single fish.  Hiccup wasn't crazy enough to think he could just put the tail fin on without a protest from his black drake.

“I don't know how much you need to eat daily but I'm sure one fish a day won't keep the dragon doctor away.”

More unfamiliar words from his boy.  So Toothless quirked his head in confusion. From out behind a boulder Hiccup pulled out the basket of fish and started bouncing around like a happy puppy.

“We have some nice Atlantic salmon, Char, Haddock; and not me, and an entire smoked eel.” At the last one Hiccup made a mental note as Toothless stuck his tongue out between his teeth and reared back in disgust.  Picking up the eel and tossing it back in the basket Hiccup consoled the dragon, “Yeah, I don't like eel either.”

With the eel gone Toothless indulged in his breakfast with relish. While he was distracted Hiccup went right to work on trying to attach the tail fin. Unfortunately Toothless insisted on waggling his tail, so Hiccup had to sit on it to try and buckle up the straps. First he buckled the first of two straps above his existing fin, and at the end where a point allowed him to secure the second buckle.

Hiccup tested the fin by hand by pulling it open to match the shape of the other fin.

“Hmm. Yeah, that works.”  Hiccup bobbed his head and mumbled aloud just as Toothless finished his meal.

The Drake noticed an unusual weight on his tail, looked back and saw the boy sitting on it. Upset with this violation of his personal boundaries, Toothless took off flying, forgetting that he did not have proper control of his tail.  Hiccup felt the initial ascent followed by a quick decent, looked behind him and realize they were going to crash. Quickly he opened up his hand-made tail fin and they ascended once again.  Because of his ups and downs, Toothless had not gained enough altitude to clear the rim of the cove, so he made a quick turn to take another run at it.  Suddenly Toothless realized he was flying, and had to look back to see how it was his tail was working again.  Looking back caused the Drake to turn around once more over the pond, but the shock of the boy helping him to fly startled him and he flicked his tail sending Hiccup sailing. Hiccup dropped into the water and Toothless skipped on the water’s surface like a stone momentarily.  

Fortunately for Hiccup it was a soft landing in water deep enough to absorb his impact. He stood up, pumped his fist in the air yelling. “Yeah baby!”

Hiccup got back to shore and was nearly toppled over by an ecstatic dragon nosing and licking him in appreciation. Overjoyed by this affection, Hiccup started rubbing and scratching Toothless all over his head.  “Hey bud, that was a good test run, but now we have to come up with a system to operate your tail in a more remote fashion.  There's no way I can help you fly by sitting on your tail.”

As Hiccup was scratching a spot under the left side of Toothless's jaw the dragon suddenly keeled over in pleasure, but Hiccup panicked momentarily thinking he had some how killed the dragon. He quickly recovered when he saw the legs of Toothless spasmodically kicking in the air. When Hiccup touched that magic spot again he could feel the dragon purring. So he hadn't hurt his dragon, but learned two new things about dragons today that might help him save the others in the arena. Both the dragons and his peers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Miss Hofferson only recently graduated, so she is completely free to accept any offers of employment she wishes.  If you like Astrid you may use my chamber to discuss this with the Chief.” So signed director Esdra.

Tearing up Astrid signed in answer, “Master Esdra, thank you so kindly.”  Astrid had grown close to all her instructors but dearly loved Esdra like a grandmother.  Esdra stood up to leave and Astrid met her with a big hug and a kiss on her cheek.  

Esdra signed to her, “This is not goodbye but only fair well.”  A single tear rolled down Esdra's cheek as she left her office for other duties.

Stoick stood and also gave his thanks.

“Well Miss Hofferrson, I dinnae know what someone in your trrade expects to earrn, can you please educate me a little on what ye expect forr pay?” Asked the Chief.

Confidently, Astrid in turn asked if this would be a short term assignment or a long term contract.

“I am anticipatin’ a long term contrract of indeterrminate length. Since dirrector Esdrra said you are a rrecent grraduate of yer studies I would like ta offerr ye a six month contrract ta start, with the option ta extend it.”

“In that case Sir, I have an unusual request. The normal fee is half a gold mark per day,” At this Stoick raised an eyebrow. He could afford the fee but even he thought this a little steep not knowing how intensive and demanding the interpreter program was. “I wish to bring my mother along as she would otherwise be alone since I'm the only family she has remaining. We would require accommodations and two meals a day and I would request one silver mark per day as my wages.”

Stoick liked this girl even more. She was obviously an intelligent, loving and caring person. He had no reason to believe she exaggerated about the worth of an interpreter, and if what she said was true then she was seriously undercutting herself. “I'll tell you what, make it two silver marks a day to starrt, and if things worrk out well, I will pay fourr marrks a day afterr one full cycle o’ the moon, and I'm perrfectly alright with offerin’ ye and yer ma thrree meals a day.  If yer ma has any skills then her help would also be apprreciated, and could mean even more marrks forr herself.”

Astrid was flabbergasted. Here she thought as a rookie she was asking for too much, and now this Chief of Berk was offering to double her starting salary and making life that much easier for her mom as well. Swallowing a lump in her throat Astrid had a hard time keeping her voice steady. “Thank you Sir. Your generous offer is appreciated more than you can know. When did you wish to return to Berk?”  

“How long do you an’ yer ma think ya need ta get ready lass? I dinnae ‘ave rroom on boarrd mah ship for furrnishins, so please keep that in mind.”

Ever since Astrid graduated, she and her mom had been prepared for departure and it wouldn't take them long to pack the rest of their essentials in a couple of trunks.

“My mom and I don't own a lot of possessions Sir, so we could be ready to go in the morning. Would two large trunks be too much?”

“Nah at all lass” and holding out his paw like hand he shook hands with Astrid. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya.  Make surre you wrrite up oor agrreement in prroper wrritin’ as I stated it, an’ we'll sign it in the morrnin’.  I wanna you ta feel comforrtable with that contrract knowin’ tis all legal.”

Now like the young girl she still was, and showing some enthusiastic excitement, she squeaked, “Oh thank you Sir, I'm going to tell my mom right now!” As she left she gave Stoick a quick hug that caught him off guard and then he chuckled once again to himself “There goes mah future daugh’er-in-law.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Hiccup took his breakfast in the Great Hall but sat alone. A short while later he was joined by Fishlegs who was missing Hiccup. “Hi Hiccup. Where have you been? I haven't seen you in awhile, at least before training yesterday.” Hiccup had his nose in his sketch book reviewing his design for a saddle and a series of connecting rods and cables to control the tail fin. “What're you working on Hiccup?” Fishlegs asked again. After a moment Fishlegs became concerned. Was Hiccup ignoring him after all the snide comments in the arena? Surely Hiccup knew he hadn't joined in. Fish waved his hand in front of Hiccup's face and this startled Hiccup into snapping his book shut.

“Oh, hey Fishlegs, how are you doing? What brings you to the great Hall?” Hiccup lamely asked.”

“Apparently the same thing as you.  Breakfast.”

This was perhaps too many syllables for Hiccup's blossoming lip reading skills to handle and he just looked at Fishlegs with a glazed eye look.

Fishlegs was starting to get an uneasy feeling about Hiccup.  “Hey Hiccup, are you alright? I asked you what you were working on?”

Hiccup realized he was in trouble. The secret of his deafness could no longer be contained. He hadn't planned on hiding it indefinitely, but he was hoping to delay the inevitable as long as possible. He was genuinely concerned about what Snotlout or Ruff and Tuff would do with that knowledge.

Gothi noticed the interaction of the two boys and the look of puzzled anxiety on Hiccup's face. She waved Gobber over and they both went to Hiccup's table.

Fishlegs was suddenly curious as to why the Elder Healer and Gobber suddenly joined them. Gobber kept his voice low knowing he could trust Fishlegs about this matter, even though he had a reputation for not being able to keep his trap shut. Gothi gestured to Hiccup to pass over his writing stylus. As Gobber spoke to Fishlegs, Gothi wrote down for Hiccup what Gobber was saying.  “We were trryin’ to postpone thee announcement as long as possible, but we think you may have put Hiccup in a difficult position.  Now we'll ‘ave to make an official announcement tomorrow morrnin’, but we'll tell you now what's goin’ on.  Make surre you keep it to yourrself Fishlegs.  Due to some unforrtunate accident, Hiccup has lost his hearing’.”

“Oh my gods Hiccup, I'm so sorry.” Exclaimed Fishlegs.  Fortunately he kept his voice low. He then again said he was sorry and took the stylus and paper from Gothi and wrote down his apology. "What happened?”  

Hiccup just gave him the same answer he had given Gothi earlier. “I don't really remember, I was out in the woods and next thing I know I'm picking myself up off the ground and I couldn't hear anymore. Gothi thinks that whatever happened knocked me out and caused me to lose my memory about what happened.”

Fishlegs then scribble down, “But you can still speak.”

Hiccup chuckled a little at this. “Yes Fish, I can still speak. The only tricky part is trying to figure out how loud I am since I can't even hear my own voice. I can feel it when I speak, but I still don't know how loud I am.”

Gobber took a quick look around, and didn't see any signs of Snotlout or the twins.  Then he told the odd couple he was going to leave them alone.

So Fishlegs took a sheet of paper, and quickly scribbled out a word game. After that on another sheet of paper he told Hiccup, “This is just in case someone sees me writing to you. That way we have a cover.”

“Good idea Fish,” Answered Hiccup, “but make sure you speak as well, so it looks like you're still talking to me.”

“This has to have been really hard to get used to.” Fishlegs wrote down.

“I haven't gotten used to it yet.  I'm still dealing with how to cope without hearing.  The world is way too quiet now, and a little scary.”  Chuckling at the remembrance, Hiccup added, “Yesterday, Gobber came to see me in the Forge, and I was working on something.  When he tapped me on the shoulder I jumped and threw the hammer in the air and it dropped on his head.  I'm really glad he was wearing his helmet.”

With a muffled laugh Fishlegs said, “oh man, I'm sorry but that must have been hilarious.”

“It is now, only because he wasn't actually hurt.” Hiccup answered smiling.

“Your hearing loss must be horrible in that arena then, since you can't hear if a dragon is coming at you.  I'll help you out by watching your back.”

Hiccup replied, “I appreciate that Fish.  It's not perfect but my sense of smell and touch compensate a little. If the wind direction is right I can smell them pretty good, and when they land or walk I can feel it through my feet because there still a lot heavier than people. I've also noticed solid rock like the arena floor transmits vibrations even better than softer ground.”

Fishlegs excitedly scribbled down, “I'd heard that when people who lose one of their senses, the others become more sensitive to compensate.”

Hiccup replied, “I'll have to be a myth buster on that score.  They don't become more sensitive, you just become more aware of them out of necessity.”

“Yeah, I see. That makes sense, er, sounds reasonable, gah. Sorry Hiccup.”

Hiccup laughed. “Don't be.  There's no way to avoid idioms that refer to senses, so don't go changing the way you talk, or write for my sake.  I should tell you that my dad went on a voyage to hire an interpreter for me.”

“Really. What kind of an interpreter could work with you?” Fishlegs wondered.

“She or he apparently uses something called hand-speak, or sign language, or something like that.”

Fishlegs asked again, “Don't you have to understand the language for an interpreter to work for you?”

“That's what I tried to tell my dad, but he had walked out the door before I had the chance to tell him that.” Hiccup explained with a smirk.

Suddenly Hiccup stood up, and grabbed the conversation paper. “Thanks for the game Fishlegs, I have to go get my stuff ready for the arena.”

Looking around and seeing Snotlout and the twins entering the Great Hall, Fishlegs smiled. “Okay Hiccup, see you later.” Then they both went on their merry way.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Agree: With your dominant index finger touch your temple (Think) then point out with both index fingers fairly close together, so they are parallel. (Parallel).  Thus when two or more agree they think along parallel lines or ideas.

CHAPTER 8:  ALL’S WELL

Near the time for the evening meal and full of excitement Astrid barged into her dwelling and practically bounced in front of her mother, Énjal, from who Astrid was gifted her beauty.  To her exuberant daughter she signed, “Did you get the job? Of course you did!!  Why else are you so happy?”

“Yes I did!“ answered Astrid frantically pumping her right fist up and down in the air like someone nodding their head, “Yes!!”. “And better yet, he didn't just agree to our terms, but he bettered them. Oh, Mom, the Chief seems like such a good and generous man.  He even said if you have skills you can employ yourself on Berk too.” Which she did. She was a top notch tailor and seamstress.

“Berk!!” Her mom was genuinely surprised. “I'm going home.” She signed with an expression of wonder.

Astrid in turn was now surprised.  “Yes dear, it had been the previous Chief of Berk who had arranged my marriage to your father, Axle Hofferson, of the Thunderhead tribe. That is why they and Berk have an alliance.”

Regardless of the arranged marriage it must have been a successful one. Despite Astrid being her mother's only child, she remembered dearly a warm and loving relationship between her parents.  He had to be loving if a hearing man was willing to wed a woman who was profoundly deaf, unable to speak because of that, and making a heroic effort to learn her language as well. And he learned it well. After all, a beautiful bride alone did not a marriage make.

“Well Mother, after supper we need to pack the rest of our goods. We have to meet the Chief in the morning at the docks.” So Astrid began to help her beautiful mother prepare their last meal on Bog, at least for six months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because Gobber had an emergency repair to perform on Bucket’s wagon, Dragon training was delayed until after the noon meal.

Fishlegs stopped in to see Hiccup at his lodge but it occurred to him that Hiccup wouldn't be able to hear him knocking.  However when Fishlegs walked up to his friend's door, it seemed that Hiccup had already thought of that problem. Unbeknownst to Fishlegs, Hiccup actually got the idea from the glowing pop flash spit ball of Toothless’. Hiccup had strung up a series of cords attached to several reflective pinwheels by each of his window openings. A sign by the front door said, “Please pull cord to ring doorbell.”  This in fact made each of the pinwheels spin, flashing light into the windows, and that way Hiccup could tell if someone was at the door.

Fishlegs pulled the cord and actually heard a bell ring. The whole thing worked like a charm. A few moments later Hiccup opened the door to greet Fishlegs.

“Wow Hiccup! That is definitely one of your better inventions.” Covering his mouth Fishlegs gave Hiccup an apologetic look.

Hiccup laughed. “The writing tablet is on the table.  I decided to use slate and chalk instead.  Parchment is too expensive to waste on me. And besides that is reusable.”

So Fishlegs picked up the slate and repeated his praise but added, “If you're deaf how can you hear the bell?”

Hiccup chuckled again.  “Sit here at the table while I go ring the bell.” So Hiccup pulled the cord and Fishlegs was astonished to see light flickering in from the windows along with the bell.  

When he he got back Fishlegs had already written on the slate, “You're amazing!”

Hiccup shrugged. “Not really. Necessity is the mother of invention. It's fine for daylight hours, and the bell will work for my dad. However, I still need to come up with something for when it's dark out, but I already have something in mind.

Wiping the slate clean Fishlegs again wrote down, “This slate is also a brilliant idea.  I can use it for this strategy I thought of for the arena.” He wiped the slate then scribbled again. “If any of the other kids want to tell you something, I'll stand behind them, and write it down and show you.”

“That might work with the one who's speaking, but the others will wonder why.”

While Hiccup was hesitant, Fishlegs was sure his plan would work. “Let's give it a try. I'll do my best to hide the slate from the others.”

“alright, we'll try it, but Gobber's right, we'll still have to let the village know.” Hiccup responded before they headed to the arena.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning Énjal  had arranged with a friend of theirs to pick up their trunks with a wagon and transport them to the docks where Stoick was ready and waiting for his two new recruits.

“Well mah dear Astrrid, did you brring that contrract like I asked?  Oh!! Excuse mah bad mannerrs. Introductions firrst.” Stoick interrupted himself when he saw Astrid interpreting for her mother.  “Good morrnin’ Mrs Hofferrson, I can see where Astrrid gets her beautiful eyes frrom.” Astrid blushed at this compliment.

“Why thank you Mr. Chief of Berk.” signed Énjal. “and since there is nothing wrong with your eyes, I hope you have an equally charming son available for my Astrid.”

Now Astrid's eyes just popped open in embarrassment, and instead of interpreting she signed to her mother, “Mother! I can't tell him that!”

Now Chief Stoick was curious and puzzled. The hands were flying between the two women but Astrid had stopped vocalizing.  Whatever they were saying to each other must have been highly amusing to Astrid's mother while Astrid's cheeks were turning rosier by the second.

“Astrid! I'm ashamed of you.” Her mother signed but with a comical grin on her face.  Standing up exaggeratedly tall Énjal chastised, “You are supposed to be a professional young interpreter now, so apologize to our host and make sure you play catch-up of everything we just said.”

So this normally bold and confident young lady sheepishly reiterated to the Chief what he missed out on.

Stoick bellowed with laughter, so much so that Mrs Hofferson not only grinned at his antics but she could feel his laughter in her rib-cage.  Amusedly Stoick replied, “Isn't that why parrents have childrren, so we can embarrass them?” So signed Astrid for her mother.  Even Astrid lightened up at this, exaggerating her signs somewhat to emphasize the booming quality of Stoick's reply.

With a more than obvious wink, Stoick then said, “Yes I do ‘ave a son forr her!” And now Astrid's cheeks were burning again.

Énjal’s next reaction didn't require any interpretation. She just jumped up and down like a giddy school girl clapping her hands.

Not so comically Astrid spoke, and signed, “Uhhh, parents.” Which set off both Stoick and Énjal  into more laughter.

In actuality Astrid had a warm glow blossom inside. If his son was as warm and funny as this man was, she wouldn't at all mind meeting him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyrsday was Nadder day for training. Fishlegs was armed with his slate and chalk and Hiccup just picked up a shield and short sword which he held in his right hand. An elaborate wooden maze had been constructed in the arena.  From the grandstands above, Gobber explained to the hearing teens how all dragons had a blind spot so a tactic to dealing with them was to find it and hide in it. Fishlegs scribbled hurriedly for Hiccup and managed to show him Gobber's blurb without the other teens seeing as they were too distracted looking around for the Deadly Nadder.

Unexpectedly Snotlout bumped into Hiccup threateningly.  “Stay out of my way, I'm winning this thing.” He exclaimed.  The morning of the first lesson Gobber had informed all the teens that whoever did best in dragon training would be the one who got to kill the Monstrous Nightmare in front of the whole tribe.

Fishlegs held out the slate behind Snotlout in a way Hiccup could see it but hidden from the twins.

“By all means, go right ahead.” Hiccup answered and gestured for him to go forward.

Snotlout, hoping to impress Ruffnut, followed her and Tuffnut.  Hiccup and Fishlegs went the other way.

Ruff and Tuff were the first ones to come nose to nose with the teal blue Deadly Nadder. They both started bickering about who got to hide in the blind spot when the Nadder twisted her head and sprayed a set of yellowish gold tail spines at them.  Tuff put up his shield just in time and saved Ruff in the process.

Gobber then announced, “Blind spot yes, deaf spot, not so much.”

“Crap sister, you were supposed to protect my shield!” Tuff said snarkily.  They took off around the next corner only to run into Snotlout.

Full of arrogant bravado, Snotlout declared to Ruffnut. “Relax babe, I've got this.” And he threw his oversized hammer at the Nadder only to miss by a kilo-stride.

“Don't make me puke!” Ruffnut snarled back after that disgraceful display of marksmanship.

Snotlout lamely whined, “What?  The sun was in my eyes Sweet Cakes, do you want me to block out the sun, I can do that but I don't have time right now.”

“Oh please.” Scoffed Ruff.

The Deadly Nadder let loose with a white hot magnesium flare and Snotlout ducked just in time. Then the Nadder jumped up onto one of the maze walls and spotted Hiccup and Fishlegs, who she went after.  Fishlegs was frozen in fear, and Gobber was screaming at Hiccup to get out of there.  Snot, Ruff and Tuff heard the scream and ran around the bend hoping to witness roasted Haddock. What they saw stunned everyone. There was the Deadly Nadder on its back, legs spasming in the air and its tongue lolling out.

What they hadn't seen, not even Gobber, was that Hiccup had dropped his sword and shield at the last second which surprised the Nadder, then jumped into action rubbing and scratching the Nadder all over its head until he found the knockout pressure point in the same general area as Toothless's.

Snotlout had a hissy fit because he couldn't believe he had been beaten by a fish-bone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours out to sea on Stoick's Flagship the, Sea Dragon, Mulch, his acting first officer brought to his attention a ship on the distant horizon to the south of them.  Stoick decided to see how well the far viewer Hiccup made for him worked.  He was pleasantly surprised that it increased how far he could see by about five times normal.  Enough to let him see that the ship on their distant tail made the hairs on the back of his neck rise like the hackles of a cat.  Stoick couldn’t quite make out the crest on the sails, but the shape of the three hulled outrigger could not be mistaken.

Astrid approached the Chief. “Chief Haddock, I have also been trained to fight, may I please have an axe if you have one to spare.  I will do my part to protect your men and my mother.”  Impressed by the girl’s gumption, Stoick personally took her to the weapons locker and allowed Astrid to choose her own.  

“Girrl, I sincerrely hope I will not need to call on yer services.  Oh Thorr, son of Odin, please hear ma prrayer and deliverr us out o’ the hands o’ tha’ madman.”  The hull of his ship then quivered. “Wha’ on the seas….?”  

“Chief!!” Cried out Mulch, “The hull has been capturred by two sea drragons.”

Stoick looked over the gunwale for himself and was terrified to see two huge Seashockers.  “Everryone, stay to the centrre o’ the ship!” Commanded Stoick.  He knew well the danger and power of these dragons.

A crew member suddenly yelled, “Chief! To the sterrn!”  

The Chief had never felt so helpless in his life.  Trapped between two enormous Seashockers, and now a swell of water approaching from behind. Not wanting to endanger his men any more than necessary Stoick shouted, “Retrract all oarrs! Tie off the rrudder and rrelease it!”  Somehow Stoick had a premonition of what was about to happen, but he could not anticipate everything.  

First, everyone on board nearly lost their footing as the ship suddenly surged forward very quickly and kept on gaining speed.  Despite this incredible burst of speed, the swell behind them was gaining on them.  “Mulch!  What’s oor headin’?”

“We’rre still on courrse for Berk, Chief.  If we keep this speed we’ll prrobably be back home by tomorrow night.”

The Chief raised his voice again. “Weapons in hands!! But if I command rrelease, drrop your weapons instantly!!”  The Crew only looked puzzled at this. “Is that clearr??!!” he shouted.

“Aye, aye!!” they affirmed.

Stoick wasn’t counting on their dragon assistance for all that long.  Shockingly, a massive dragon broke surface perhaps fifty ship lengths astern.  Stoick had never seen such a beast.  It seemed to be the size of a volcano. Dark grey with a flat face, a main of horns and two ship long tusks sticking out in front of its elongated jaw.  As the Dragon inhaled the two Seashockers released Stoick's ship.  The crew lurched forward from the sudden drop in speed.

“Rrelease!!” Shouted Stoick. Every weapon dropped to the deck.

With astounding speed the Seashockers swam to each side of the bizarre new dragon, and discharged their reserves of electrical energy effectively stunning the larger dragon into paralysis.  Having battled Seashockers in the past Stoick had learned the hard way that their discharges could be conducted through metal weapons.  The new behemoth sunk into the depths and the Seashockers resumed their places on the hull of the Sea Dragon.

Shortly thereafter, they were moving at such a speed the hull of the Sea Dragon was nearly skipping along the surface.

Astrid gathered up her moxy and went and asked the Chief, “what happened back there Chief Haddock?  I didn’t think you could be afraid of anyone?”

“Men!!  Please gather rround, you too Mrs Hofferrson.”  So Astrid waved her mother over and began interpreting for her.  So the Chief began his tale. “I am absolutely cerrtain that the mountain of a drragon that attempted to attack us, was sent by a madman named Drrago Bludvist.  About ten winterrs ago we had held a meetin’ o’ the clans ta discuss a prroposal Drrago had made to us. It would have amounted to oor enslavement by him if we had agrreed to his plans.  We dinnae take him serriously, because we saw no way that he could enforrce his dictates on us.  We werre so wrrong.  Somehow he commanded an arrmy of armoured drragons, that destrroyed mah Grreat Hall and killed most of the Chieftains within. Only I and Oswald the Agrreeable surrvived that attack.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Relieved: Place both flattened “B” hands high near your chest, tucked in thumbs adjacent to your chest, dominant hand over the other but separate. As you drop your hands together slightly blow out a breath of relief from your lips, also at the same time, raise and lower your chin as if in a sigh. Relieved.

CHAPTER 9: INSTRUCTIONS

In the cove under the dark of night, Toothless is disturbed by dreams.  Lightning all around.  A glowing ghost.  A man broken.  A female human child terrified.  Attack the lightning!!  Feed it fire!  Make a friend.  A giant emerges.  Ships ablaze.  Vessels overturned.  Bubbles rising.  Green eyes vacant.

Toothless awakes with a start, but he must still be dreaming.  All is white, as in a blizzard with no wind. “Oh, brave Black Son.  There is a reason you are called my offspring.  It is my command to you to bring dragon and man together in peace.  You have accomplished the first task towards completing this mission.  Now, you must accomplish the second. So commands the Son of Odin, so commands the god of thunder.  Yes, you are the offspring of Lightning, and not death, but of life!”

Again he awakens with a jolt, but all is quiet in his cove.  Why does he remember the Skrill now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiccup wielded a three headed torch to walk to the forge in the dark.  He had been severely disturbed by a bizarre nightmare.  Only vaguely could he remember some details. A giant from the sea, lightning everywhere, bubbles, glowing slime, ships ablaze. Very poor continuity, but it put his nerves on edge so he could no longer sleep.

It had only been about a week since he lost his hearing, so his night time balance was still very poor. He decided to work on his saddle and tail-fin control mechanism for Toothless, but he faced a new problem.

How to get to the forge without killing himself.

So Hiccup decided he would try binding three torches together and hope they gave him enough light to walk by.  He also hoped it wouldn't lead to his setting his own head on fire.  He had worn his helmet as a precaution against this.  The torches did work but not quite enough. It still took Hiccup a while to get to the forge. Without being able to see the broader surroundings and horizon he still felt somewhat tipsy.

Once he entered the forge, he placed the torches in three wall sconces around the smithy and the forge. Between them and the forge fires he had enough light to work by. Inside his balance improved now that he could see his surroundings with a flat floor and vertical walls.

He went right to work on the more difficult elements of his fin control saddle first, the hardware to operate the tail-fin from the saddle. The forge was located on the outskirts of the village not too near any homes, so he was pretty sure he wouldn't disturb anyone by burning the midnight oil.

Hiccup had given some careful thought to his designs, but he was well aware that even the best laid plans often needed revising.  Since it was the left tail fin Hiccup had injured the only option he had was to create the linkage assembly to be operated by a left pedal.  This was ironically fortunate as he was left handed and therefore he also favoured his left leg.

Trickier to work with, Hiccup opted to make the transmission elements out of a more rust resistant alloy. He didn't want to worry about constantly coating everything in oil.  He would have to keep the moving parts and cable guides oiled, but he was also concerned about how contact with oil could affect the scales of Toothless.

The sky was beginning to lighten up when Hiccup had finished all of his metal components. He'd better clean up and pack up his work before Gobber showed up for his own duties, but he knew he still had time as Gobber never missed breakfast.  That also sounded like a good idea. After all that hard work Hiccup was famished. The saddle would have to wait until after the morning's training class.

Fortunately, Toothless hadn't needed to eat everyday after he got caught up with a few of days of fish.  

It also turned out that dragon training was only held every other day, as Gobber was the only full-time blacksmith. This also allowed all the trainees to take care of their domestic responsibilities as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that the excitement was over on the Sea Dragon, Stoick was debating whether or not to do anything with the Seashockers moving them along. He was, however, more concerned with the welfare of his crew and passengers.  So he chose the prudent course of action to let the sea dragons handle the ship unless they veered of course.  Then again they had yet to do them any harm, and they had in fact defended his ship.  That was the last thing he would have expected of dragons.

Indeed they were making fabulous time and should arrive back at Berk in time for the evening meal the next day. “Thank ye, Thorr, for answerring mah prrayer so prromptly. Trruly a tale mah son will apprreciate and find harrd to believe.”

Since time was calm aboard the Sea Dragon, Stoick approached his passengers with a request.  “Since you both will be staying with us a while, perrhaps you could teach us some fundamental signs that will help us learrn to communicate with yer mother as well as mah so - er young man on mah island?”  Astrid had been in the middle of a conversation with her mother and so hadn’t noticed Stoick’s little slip up.

“Why certainly Sir, here is your first lesson…”  Astrid said a little more snidely than she originally intended.  Holding her left palm up and pointing her four right fingers down into the left palm she then stroked her left palm from palm to fingertips twice.  After which she pointed to herself with her right hand. “This is the sign for excuse me, or pardon me.”  Astrid’s mom looked a little shocked for Astrid’s equally bad manners.

Stoick looked so chagrined Astrid felt a little guilty.  “I am sorry, Chief.  I have been taught since I was little to always treat others with courtesy and respect, especially my elders.”  Having signed this simultaneously Astrid’s mom looked relieved.  “You have been more kind and generous than we could have hoped for.  Please accept my apologies for my own rudeness.”

“That’s okay Miss Hofferrson, even this old Chief needs a rreminder in prroper mannerrs occasionally.”

“Well sir, that brings up an interesting little problem.  As an interpreter it’s not my job to teach ASL.  In fact it is actually frowned on by the deaf community for hearing people to teach sign language.  Think of it this way, as a child your parents taught you how to speak as you grew up, and then perhaps your teachers, if you were privileged enough to go to school.  It’s the same for the deaf community.  Deaf families begin teaching their children ASL even if they have given birth to hearing children.  I myself grew up learning two languages.  My first language was ASL as my mother was my primary care giver and my second language is Norse which I learned from my father.  ASL is best taught by a Deaf Instructor who is fluent in the culture, and not just the language.  I am certainly a qualified interpreter, but as a hearing person I cannot completely understand what a deaf person has to deal with.  My mother tells me that her hometown is Berk so perhaps you may remember she had an arranged marriage to a man from the Thunderhead tribe?”  Stoick shook his head in the negative. “That man was my father, Axle Hofferson, who I am privileged to call my Dad.  It was my deaf mom who taught him sign language as she taught me.”

Suddenly Stoick felt somewhat uncomfortable, and began to scratch the back of his neck.  He now realized where Hiccup got his impulsiveness from.  Stoick may have made a grave mistake.  Not one he actually regretted, for he dearly wished to bring this young woman and her mother to Berk, but now he had to find a way out of this dilemma.  “I see.  Since I am only asking you to teach us some fundamentals, would that be perrmitted?”

Astrid was not sure about this herself, so she quickly inquired of her mother. Her mother very happily gave the affirmative hand gesture for “Yes” while nodding her head along with her left fist.

So Astrid helped the crew pass some of the time by giving them some basic instruction in Archipelago Sign Language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiccup was afraid he would be dragging his butt during the morning class, but adrenaline kicked in after a fog of sickly greenish gas invaded the arena.

“yer job is to figure out which head prroduces the gas, and which head ignites it.” declared Gobber.

Snotlout and the twins teamed up since it was an odd numbered class.

Fishlegs started to become very worried after hearing Tuffnut screaming, “Oh I'm hurt. I am very much hurt!”

With a start Fishlegs looked up to see a Zippleback head looming over him, so he threw his bucket of water dowsing the head.  More green gas burbled from its mouth.  “Ohh, no. Wrong head.” whimpered poor Fishlegs. With burst of air from his lungs, Fishlegs was sent sliding across the arena floor by the whipping swing of a large tail.

The last man/boy standing was Hiccup. A staticky sound drew his attention to the air where a head with little white sparks emitting between its teeth were flashing.  Hiccup pathetically threw up his bucket of water to actually maintain his image of weakness. He was more than capable of dowsing that head, but he had another plan in mind.

He very quickly opened his brown bear fur vest to reveal only to the Zippleback head the eel concealed within it.

Very quickly the gas cleared up, the Zippleback flapping its wings in horror, as the boy approached it.  “Back, back, back into your cage.” Hiccup exclaimed while he pushed back the dragon, with his arms and hands miming a pushing motion in the air.  Once the Zippleback was back in its pen, Hiccup threw in the eel to keep it cowed in the corner so he could close the pen door.

“Now you think about what you've done.” Instructed Hiccup as he turned around dusting his hands off only to face a group of astonished teens and a man with a peg leg and a prosthetic hand.

Fortunately for the Zippleback, two or three rats came and took away the eel for their morning meal.

Suddenly Hiccup was swarmed by babbling teens trying to ask him all sorts of questions, but last night's work finally caught up to him.  He explained, “I didn't sleep a wink last night, I have to go grab some sleep.” And that is exactly what he did.

Hiccup still badly wanted to work on that saddle so he only slept for a couple of hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Sun had set and the Sea Dragon lurched a little and Stoick the Vast left his little class of ASL instruction to see what had happened.

He was astounded to see that his two Seashocker escorts had been replaced by two Thunderdrums.  “I guess a Viking long ship is too much even for dragons to pull through the seas without a break.” He mumbled to himself.

He was beginning to feel dizzy with confusion.  How is it these beasts that he and his kin had fought for generations had now become their defenders and helpers?  Stoick was not willing to break a prejudice of a lifetime just because of a single episode of kindness by these dragons.  His trust could not be that easily won over.  Nevertheless he breathed a sigh of relief since these beasts so far had not shown any signs of threat.

He went back to the class that he was actually enjoying thoroughly with the young lady and her mother, Énjal.  A very appropriate name for such a warm and lovely woman.  If Stoick was not holding onto the hope of finding his long lost wife Valka again, he could seriously consider courting Énjal.

Stoick could see several tactical advantages to the use of this sign language.  If his warriors could learn enough of a working vocabulary, it could be a very stealthy form of communication.  It could be used to silently communicate over a greater distance than shouting as long as your fellow warrior was visible enough.

“Okay boys. I need a bit of a break, but thank you for being such great pupils.  The best way to remember what you learned is to practice it.  And since the grammar is different, don't speak or you will be tempted to try and sign along with your Norse.  I know it may feel silly at first, but facial expressions are very important for they express your feelings as your changes of expression and pitch do in your voices.  Have fun boys!”

Stoick walked up to Astrid and placed a hand on her surprisingly strong shoulder.  “Thank ye lass, that was verry educational. It's a shame ye couldnae teach as well. ye would make an excellent teacher.”

Astrid blushed slightly at the compliment. “Thank you Chief Stoick, I think I enjoyed teaching it as much as your men enjoyed learning it. Please remember that I cannot go beyond much more than that in terms of teaching . I dare not risk my interpreter privileges in doing so.  The more you or your men practice with my mom, the more they will learn in time as well.”

“Neverr mind this Chief business.  Just call me Stoick. That's wha’ mah frriends call me. I only everr insist on the title when I'm not keen on someone.”  Stoick said conspiratorially.

Astrid simpered back. “Thank you Chief, er, Stoick.”

Having had a Sailor's Delight sunset, the Chief looked up at the darkening sky and the stars shining early, he told Astrid “Should be clearr sailing tonight and tomorrow, so go ‘ave a good night sleep. I'll be taking the firrst night watch shift, so I plan on doing the same afterr that.”

“Thanks again Chief, for everything. Odin bless you with a good night too.”

______________________________________________________________

A/N For all ye younger lassies and laddies, Sailor’s Delight sunset was my reference to an old rhyme that the sea bred folks used to help predict the weather a little.

Sunset at night, sailor’s delight.

Sunrise in mornin’, sailors take warnin’.

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Sign of the Chapter - Class: Hold up two “C” shaped hands with closed fingers curved and thumbs open. Palms start facing each and then you circle them around horizontally until the baby fingers of each hand touch. This is an initialized sign.  Not all signs involve letters but quite a few do.  Family is similar using the “F” letter hand sign.

CHAPTER 10: TEST PILOT

After class the day before Hiccup used the rest of his post nap afternoon to work on and complete his saddle and harness design.  He rushed through his breakfast at home because he hadn't wanted to get pulled into an unwanted discussion in the Great Hall.

Hiccup had designed the saddle with shoulder straps and tie down straps. Strapping the hardware onto the saddle he then put the saddle on his back like a backpack. “Oi, this is going to be a workout for the first few hikes.” Hiccup muttered to himself, and he still had to go buy another basket of fish from Mulch.

“But Hiccup, you gave me way too many marrks. I have money here for thrree baskets o’ fish and ye'rre only buyin’ one.”  It was a good thing Bucket wasn't the partner in charge of purchases because his short term memory was the pits.

Hiccup had managed a good guess at what Mulch was talking about since he was pointing in his cash box.  “It’s alright Mulch, I bought two baskets earlier this week.  Please excuse me, I'm in a bit of a hurry.” So Hiccup grabbed his basket of fish and high tailed it out of there.

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Gobber was looking for Hiccup after his breakfast in the great Hall but wasn't able to spot the boy.  “Good morrnin’ Fishlegs. 'Ave you seen Hiccup arround?”

“Not yet Gobber. Why do you ask?

The blacksmith replied quietly. “I wanted to get the announcement out o’ the way, but not without Hiccup.

“I'm finished breakfast. I'll go over to his place and tell him you want to see him.”

About a quarter of an hour later Fishlegs returned to Gobber with the note that was pinned to his front door.

On it Hiccup wrote, “I went out to test my sail design, I'll be home before dark.  Hiccup”  With days starting to get noticeably longer, that should be about time for the evening meal.  

“Well I guess Hiccup gets a delay until supper time.” Gobber said after reading the note.

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Happy as a puppy but bouncing around like a kitten, Toothless had bowled over Hiccup a few times in his exuberance.

“Hey, hey, Bud. I'm happy to see you too!”  This warm and happy welcome puzzled Hiccup.  Sure he had brought his dragon breakfast five times in this past week and even gave him back a taste of flight, but Hiccup just didn't think that explained such a warm personality change.

After taking a couple of fish out of the basket for his own lunch, Hiccup presented the basket of fish to Toothless for his breakfast.  He didn't know whether or not to call it breakfast because now it seemed like he could go three to four days between feedings. That was only a supposition since he'd only come to know the dragon for little over a week now.

While he waited for his big black lizard to eat his meal, Hiccup laid out all the components for the tail fin controls and the saddle.

His activity hadn't gone unnoticed by The “Toothless” One, and if his little Viking thought he could saddle him up like a beast of burden, he had another think coming.

When Hiccup noticed the dragon sitting on his haunches and looking up curiously at him, he held up the saddle. “Hey Toothless, I brought you a surprise.” The dragon in question opened his maw in a bouncing action and Hiccup could see the dragon's throat convulsing. He was either going to regurgitate more sushi for him, or could dragons laugh?  That's certainly what it resembled.

Hiccup carried the saddle over to his dragon. The dragon was “game”.  Game alright for a little play time.  The dragon cooperatively squatted down, but as Hiccup lifted the saddle to put it on him he created a huge blind spot for himself.  When Hiccup went to put the saddle down on Toothless it dropped to the ground.  

“Now where did you go?!” He exasperated. A natural tail fin tapped him on the shoulder and Hiccup let out a yelp while jumping 180 degrees.

Toothless just raised the protuberances on his head and quirked his head with an expression that seemed to say, “What? You expected me to make your life easy?”

Hiccup shot back with “Oh you useless reptile. How do you expect me to put this on you if you don't sit still.” So Hiccup turned around to pick up the saddle to try again. When he turned back to the dragon, again he had vanished. Hiccup turned only to see the dragon circle around again. This was too many revolutions for Hiccup's compromised balance and he swayed somewhat almost falling over.

Toothless bounded in to catch the boy before he toppled over only to discover it had been a ploy of Hiccup's.  This time Hiccup managed to place the saddle on the drake's back, but before he could buckle it on, his useless reptile closed his wings and rolled away from Hiccup leaving the saddle upside down on the ground.

“Oh ha ha, you think you're so funny!” Complained Hiccup with dripping sarcasm.  This Stubborn young Viking was not giving up. He snatched up the saddle and just ran right at that black dragon, who of course just ran away. After a few laps around the pond, Hiccup finally collapsed breathless.

“Okay, alright, --- fine, --- I guess --- you don't --- want to be --- able to fly --- again.” Hiccup managed to exhale between gasps.

Toothless froze as if to say “What was that?”  Did his Hiccup just imply he could help him fly again?  He had said on a previous visit something about fixing his tail, and somehow the boy had, at least while sitting on his tail for that one short flight. Toothless also remembered the two significant differences between man and dragon.  Speech and the inventiveness of their fore-paws.

Cautiously, Toothless walked over to the hardware.  He sniffed at it curiously.  It smelled of man's iron and yet not just iron, but it did not look like one of the dangerous metal stingers.  Then Toothless sniffed the saddle. It smelled of animal hide and sheep fur. Following this, he approached Hiccup who became a little apprehensive.  While still on his knees catching his breath Toothless first sniffed his right hand, nuzzled it and gave it a quick lick.  He then did the same for Hiccup's left hand.

Hiccup was now in awe over what this dragon just conveyed to him. Or at least what he thought was communicated to him.  What really brought the statement home for Hiccup was the last gesture of Toothless.  This beautiful, wonderful black drake stood sideways in front of him, turned his head to look at him and meekly laid down on the ground to accept the saddle.

Hiccup got up, but before putting the saddle on his mighty beast, he walked to his head and gave the dragon a kiss on the forehead and a hug around his neck as best he could.  “Thank you Toothless”

A short while later he had Toothless saddled and harnessed up.  “Okay Toothless.  My balance is alright while it's light out, but I don't know how things will work once in the air with you.  I also need to see how you work your natural tail so I can mimic your actions with your prosthetic.”

Another big word from the small one. Toothless quirked his head in uncertainty.

“Uh, your tail fin replacement.  Without flying just yet can you show me what you do with your tail for level flight?”

The dragon was intelligent but could not completely understand the query made of him. So Hiccup attempted a little sign language of his own.  Getting off of Toothless just in case of a misunderstanding, he moved near the head of his dragon.  He spoke a little at the same time. “Please show me what you do with your tail when you fly level.”

Then Hiccup pointed to the sky, then to Toothless, made a y shape with his left hand in a bid to simulate wings, moved it in a large arc from left to right, then did the same thing with a flattened hand in a flat line to hopefully indicate level flight.

Miraculously to Hiccup, Toothless raised his tail and his good right fin became flat and parallel to the ground. That's what Hiccup had theorized but had to see to be certain.  “Thanks Toothless. Position one.” He then repeated his flying gesture and pointed up.  Toothless raised his right tail fin to form half of a V shape and tipping the tail up slightly.  “Position two.”  Hiccup anticipated this as well, after all he was practically a genius who was able to intuit some of the laws of aerodynamics.  He had designed his rig to be able to simulate the various V shapes of Toothless's fin, but the up and down motion of his tail could still be done by Toothless. “Down?” Toothless's fin inverted to pointing down. “Position three.”

The next couple of requests confused Hiccup a little at first.  Hiccup pointed to the dragons right to indicate a right turn.  Toothless dropped his tail fin to position one again and twisted his tail slightly clockwise. “Hmmm. I'm not sure about that one yet. Left turn?  Ahh, now I see what you were trying to show me.” Because half his tail fin was missing, Hiccup had to see the actions of both turns before he could comprehend what he was seeing.  For a left turn Toothless lifted the right tail fin nearly vertical but for a right turn it was horizontal, so Hiccup figured he had to do the opposite with his prosthetic fin. “Positions four and five.”

“One last request Toothless. Dive?” And the dragon collapsed his tail ribs. “Position six.”  Thanks bud.

Hiccup completed his positions chart and clipped it to the saddle. “Hey Bud, is it alright if I climb on board now?”  Toothless excitedly nodded. “We'll do a grounded test first just to make sure the rigging works properly.”  Toothless was keen to see this new tail fin in operation as well so he looked back to watch it. “alright Bud. One at a time.” So Hiccup gave the verbal commands for each direction and clicking the left pedal to the appropriate position, Toothless started prancing with excitement. The new boy made tail was working nearly as good as his natural one.

“Alright!  So far so good. Now Toothless, I'm not so keen on going for a full blown flight yet but there's a place we can still do sort of airborne testing I'll take you to.”  Knowing how quickly some dragons could launch from the ground Hiccup had wisely designed a safety harness system to clip his belt to the saddle.  “Okay Toothless.  Be gentle with me.  We obviously have to take a short flight to get you out of this cove.  Since we have to fly up to get out of here, position two.  Go for it.”

Toothless managed a gentle ascent but Hiccup was still jerked back somewhat because the dragon still had to jump as he made his first downstroke. They flew to the far end of the cove giving this dynamic duo enough room to clear the top edge of the cove.  “alright Bud. Please land.”  Toothless did so obediently because he didn't want to overwhelm his new partner.  His boy had now become his best friend.  For the dragon, even this short flight was an amazing success thanks to his boy.  Hiccup dismounted nearly hyperventilating with the thrill of this success.

“Wow, just wow!” Hiccup gasped. “Okay Toothless, please follow me.”  Toothless drooped his head in disappointment.  That just wasn't enough flying, but he followed along to see what Hiccup had in mind.

Hiccup was lucky it was a windy day on the western cliffs of the island which really wasn't far from the cove.  It took the two companions about half an hour to walk to Hiccup's chosen cliff.

“Now, Toothless, I'm going to turn you into a giant kite.”  Whatever that meant.  Hiccup tied a long length of rope to a ring on the front of Toothless's saddle harness then anchored it to a large boulder, climbed back onto the saddle with the dragons permission.

Hiccup took a deep breath. “alright Toothless, slowly open your wings.”  And so he did.  Toothless was a little surprised.  He hadn't thought he could fly in one spot, but because the rope secured him, the wind passed over his wings lifting him and Hiccup off the ground. This boy seemed full of amazing tricks.  

Hiccup had Toothless repeat the exercises in the cove in order for him to get a feel for how it actually felt in flight. For his sake, not Toothless's. He figured the dragon already knew how to fly, but now they had to learn to fly together.

Everything seemed to go without a hitch, until the rope snapped, but that didn't bother Toothless in the least.  He just started flapping his wings a little harder.

“Uh, Toothless?  What are we doing?” A slightly worried Hiccup exclaimed. Not like the dragon could answer him, so he answered himself.  “Holy yaks!  We're flying!” This time Toothless was able to answer. Turning his head slightly he gave Hiccup a gummy smile with his tongue lolling out and nodded vigorously.  He also warbled happily even though Hiccup couldn't hear it, but he sure felt it in the seat of his pants and laughed.

“Alright bud, since I'm doing better than I thought with you let's stretch your wings a little.” Toothless was all too happy to comply.  Toothless remembered about Hiccup's balance, so they didn't try any wild acrobatics this time around.

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Sign of the Chapter - Pilot: Holding your dominant hand near your temple as a fist, extend only your thumb, Index and baby finger, push this hand out horizontally (Fly as in aircraft), then grab two imaginary joysticks in front of your tummy and wiggle them back and forth alternatingly twice. Pilot.

CHAPTER 11: INTRODUCTION

The horns began to sound just as Hiccup was walking back into the village. He hadn't heard them but he saw villagers rushing for the Great Hall and the armoury.  Fearing a dragon raid or an enemy invasion Hiccup began running for the Great Hall himself.  That's what he thought anyway since there was no way his father's ship could have made the round trip in a week's time.  The lookouts must have thought the same thing.

Then the lookouts sounded the all clear and Hiccup nearly ran into Snotlout who had stopped in his tracks and looked up towards the lookouts with annoyance.

“Can't you goons make up your stupid minds!” Shouted Snot. Then he spotted Hiccup.  He grinned like he had so badly missed Hiccup, and then gave him a shove backwards.  “Get out of my face fish-bone!” The young Jorgenson laughed as Hiccup fell on his butt.  Good thing it had gone partly numb from all his flying practice.

“Same old Snotlout.” Grumbled Hiccup as he got up and dusted himself off.  Hiccup was famished so he proceeded to the Great Hall to get his evening meal, then head home because he was bushed.  In the Great Hall the commotion had settled down, so Hiccup got himself a hefty plate of roast yak, fried onions and potatoes, his favourite.  Just as he was sitting down for his dinner Fishlegs joined him with his slate.  “Hi Hiccup, where were you all day?”

Hiccup had to think about that.  He had to remember what he had written on this morning's note that he left pinned to the door.  “I went sailing in a dinghy.  I thought of a new sail design I wanted to try.”

“How did it go?” scritched down Fishlegs.

“It was a flying success.   I’m thinking of introducing it to my dad to see what he thinks about it?”  Hiccup blatantly lied.

“Did you recognize the ship that came into port when those horns sounded?” Asked Fishlegs.

“I didn’t hear any horns, but I figured out from all the people running around it must have been a dragon raid or an enemy vessel.”

“Well it was actually your dad’s ship.”

Hiccup was stunned.  He had to read the slate again. “Did you mean my Dad’s ship?  The Sea Dragon?  How is that even possible?”

Fishlegs answered with a shrug and more writing. “I have no idea but he brought back a couple of passengers.

“Really? Must be the old hag of an interpreter he went to get without consulting me first.” Hiccup quipped.  He was still a little miffed under the collar over his dad's impulsiveness.

Fishlegs slapped his forehead and wiped his hand down across his face.

“My dad is right behind me with his interpreter person isn’t he?”

Stoick leaned over Hiccup and took the slate from Fishlegs.  “No,  just me, is that alright?”

Standing up to look at his father Hiccup tried to cover his fanny. “Dad!!  Wow! I missed you!” He exclaimed as he hugged his father. “That must have been a heck of voyage.  Did you steal my new sail designs?  How did you manage to get back so fast?”

Smiling smugly, Stoick wrote down for Hiccup. “That’s a story for another night.  Come to the head table with me please.  I want to introduce you to the old hag of an interpreter I hired for you.”  So Hiccup dutifully followed his father looking somewhat humiliated.  Hiccup took his place beside Stoick the Vast, and gathered at the head table with the other elders of the tribe.  Hiccup was actually feeling ashamed of his earlier comments, and just kept his countenance down.

Pounding his empty mead stein on the table like a gavel Stoick bellowed. “Beforre I intrroduce mah guests of honour I wish to announce some disturbin’ news.  Due to an unexplained and trragic accident, mah son and heirr to the Hooligan Trribe of Berrk has perrmanently lost his hearin’.” A hush overtook the hall only to be replaced by the murmurings of a babbling brooke.

“Mah special guests arre who I ‘ave invited ta help mah son.”  Stoick continued. “Please welcome to our trribe, Énjal and her daughterr Astrrid Hofferrson.”  The Great doors were opened and the two lovely ladies were ushered in.  Stoick gestured for Énjal  to come stand on his left side, while Astrid took her place in front of and facing the head table.  “Énjal here is Astrrid’s motherr, and her daughter is an ASL-Norrse interprreter.  ASL is shorrt forr Archipelago Sign Language.  A language o’ the hands, and,” He nodded to Astrid in remembrance of his lessons. “facial exprressions forr the deaf and harrd of hearin’. They will be stayin’ with us forr at least six moons.  It is mah hope that they will find a warrm welcome here and make Berrk their futurre home.   Let’s feast!!” declared Stoick the Vast.

Astrid was busily doing her job interpreting for her mother,  wondering where the deaf young man whom she was hired for was.  She then saw Stoick place a finger under the chin of a young man on his right to raise it up, and waved to Astrid to approach the table.

Hiccup’s expression froze neither in shock or dismay.  His breathing however momentarily stopped and perhaps his heart as well.  There before him was the very definition of beauty.  A loveliness so profound his soul flew to the heavens, and he completely forgot his despair over his lost hearing.  Then blurring hands snapped him back to the Earth with a heart wrenching crash.  This was no hag of an interpreter, and he sorely hoped the vision of beauty before him had not heard of his earlier vile comment.

Stoick, through Astrid, formerly introduced Énjal to Hiccup.  Énjal  leaned forward to take a peek at the Chief’s son and puzzled over why he looked so distressed.  Hiccup caught her movement out of his peripheral vision and turned to her.  She gave him a great warm smile and waved.  He simpered back with chagrin and returned her wave.  That much Hiccup could understand.  Énjal  recognized marvellous intelligence in his green eyes and a caring heart in his embarrassed humility.  Why would my future son-in-law be so ashamed?  She wondered, and she surprised herself with this thought.

Stoick then waved to Astrid to approach the table and sit next to Hiccup.  “Hiccup, this is Astrrid Hofferrson. The interprreter I hired.”  She busied her hands with the introduction which was lost on the boy.  Hiccup shamefacedly hunched his shoulders, and not knowing what to do just sheepishly waved and said in a very clear sounding voice, if perhaps a little loud, “Hello.  My name is Hiccup.”

For Astrid, this just set off a whole bunch of alarm bells.  This boy could speak.  And not with the consonant missing accent that some deaf or hard of hearing individuals could vocalize with.  He was clear, and articulate.  She must have misunderstood the chief. Mistaken his son for the deaf young man Stoick had hired her for.  Now she spoke, “I’m sorry.  My name is Astrid Hofferson, and you are the son of the Chief.  Is that correct?  Where is the young deaf boy I am supposed to interpret for?” She asked aloud.  A blank look met her gaze.  “Hello?”

That last word Hiccup could lipread and he finally clued in.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t hear a word you said.  You see, I lost my hearing about a week ago.”

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Sign of the Chapter - Embarrassed: Using your dominant hand, start with an open claw shaped hand, touching the fingertips to the side of your jaw, squint your eyes as if emotionally pained as you curl your hand into a fist until your knuckles rest on your jaw, as you lightly tilt your jaw into your fist as well. Embarrassed.

CHAPTER 12: CONFLICT

Astrid was livid and her mother could see it in her face, but for the sake of her mother, and not wanting to upset this despicable Chief she kept to herself.  How had she missed these facts?  Then she mentally slapped herself.  Astrid knew why.  In her joy and exuberance she failed to ask the Berkian Chief details about her future client.  Why hadn’t the Chief said anything to her on the ship when she had clearly told him that it was a serious faux pas for a hearing person to teach sign language, no matter how fluent or articulate they were in ASL?

But she had liked the Chief and she really did not perceive any ill intent.  If anything his intentions were honourable, for his son, but this could seriously jeopardize the actual start of her career.  

Astrid was torn.  She didn’t want to make a fatal professional mistake, but she and her mother desperately needed the income.  She was going to have to talk to the Chief in the morning and request passage back to Bog Island.  She couldn’t in good conscience accept this employment contract under these circumstances.

Under the Haddock roof Hiccup was close to losing his cool with his dad.  “You left before giving me a chance to say anything.  I could have told you an interpreter like her”

“Astrrid”

“Astrid couldn’t work for me.  Dad, I’m new to the deaf world.  The only gesture I was able to recognize in that hall was ‘Hello’.  Now you have the gall to tell me she’s not even allowed to teach me sign language?  Admittedly I can see the necessity of it, but how am I to learn if no one can define these signs for me?”

Hiccup was stunned by what his father next wrote down.  “Hiccup, I’m sorry.  I was hopeful and desperate when Phlegma told me there might be a solution to this problem.”

“Why desperate Dad?”

“Because I don’t want to have to train up Snotlout as the next Chief of Berk.”

Suddenly everything made perfectly good sense.  Of course Hiccup now couldn’t seriously be considered as the next Chief of Berk.  For Hiccup this was a blessing for this was not a responsibility he ever really wanted to shoulder, especially now that he may gain some unprecedented freedom with Toothless.  However the thought of Snotlout becoming Chief was enough to turn his stomach inside out.

“Guess what dad.  All is forgiven.  I can now perfectly understand your actions.  I don’t fancy Snotlout as my Chief either.  I admit he’s an ass with me, but he isn’t so horrible with others.   I just can’t picture him as Chief.  I know he can, but not me.”

Stoick gave a hearty laugh for that comment.  Again he wrote down, “He does have some strengths, I’ll admit that, such as a skilled warrior and perhaps more courage than sense, but leadership?  Not so much.”

Hiccup then said, “It’s not like we can arrange to take the Hoffersons back on such short notice.  So tomorrow I will invite Astrid to come and visit the training academy and show her around the island.”

The young Viking was willing to make up any excuse he could to keep Astrid on Berk for as long as possible. Despite the communication barrier, he really was praying they could get to know each other better.

“Yes, good plan, good talk son.  By the way I love this doorbell idea you installed, but how does that work for you?”

Hiccup explained how he had also devised it with reflective pinwheels by each of the main windows except his dad’s.  He planned on adapting lanterns for night time use, at least when he was home alone.

“Very clever, very clever.” Stoick proudly wrote down.

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Sign of the Chapter - Invention: Start with your dominant number 4 hand, index finger touching near your eyebrow. As you purse your lips slightly, and nod your head once, push your hand away from your head in an arch.

CHAPTER 13: UPHEAVAL

The next morning Astrid walked up to the Chief’s house about to knock on the door when she read the sign to “Please pull cord to ring door bell”.  This really peaked her curiosity and she looked up to see what the cords pulled on.  She followed one that went over a pulley directly into the house above the door.  Another attached to the same cord was guided to a front wall window somehow attached to a highly polished silver pinwheel.  After which she followed another extension around the wall to another pinwheel in front of another window. There were a couple of others she suspected did the same thing.  She went back to the front door and pulled the cord but watched the pinwheel by the front window spin and heard a bell behind the door ring.  Not long after she heard footsteps approaching the door.  She was amazed.  This idea alone could make some serious cash for the inventor amongst the deaf community on Bog Island alone.

Hiccup was very pleasantly surprised when he opened the door to see Astrid. She automatically started signing to him, and then remembered he didn’t know any ASL.  “Astrid, uh hi Astrid, Hello Astrid”  She raised her hand and gestured for him to remain silent.  She wasn’t supposed to instruct him, but she could teach by example. So Astrid raised her right hand and waved hello silently, and then made a sign with her right hand.  The sign looked like a flattened hand with the fingers pointing left, Palm down and the thumb tucked in with the right index finger next to Astrid’s chest.  Hiccups eyes dropped to her hand and he blushed horribly until he saw her hand jerk up slightly.  Astrid repeated the sign one more time for emphasis. Hiccup smiled in excitement and nearly shouted “That’s my name? That’s my name, or the sign for hiccup!”

Astrid raised her hand again and then a single finger to her lips for the universal sign of “shush”.  Then she nodded her head and nodded her right fist at the same time.  Hiccup mimicked both her actions and mouthed “Yes” and gave a gloriously big smirk of comprehension.  Gods she loved his quirky smile and big green eyes. She smiled back to give her affirmative response.  Hiccup nearly melted on the spot.

So she was going to teach him the hard way.  He could live with that.  She took his hand which gave him a very pleasant jolt, and pulled him outside pointing to the cords of the doorbell and pinwheels.  Looking at Hiccup she tapped the side of her forehead with her bent middle finger, flicked it out, and then waved her right index finger in front of her mouth which formed a small ‘o’ shape, followed by Astrid putting one fist on another and twisting them away from her in opposite directions.

“Okay, Astrid, I get that you don’t want me to vocalize, but if you are to know if I understood correctly in this case I think I have to verbally answer you.”  With a facial expression Astrid sort of pouted out her lips, nodded yes along with the “yes” sign as if to say, “Yes that’s fine.”

“Okay” but before he could continue Astrid held up her right hand, first to make a circle with her thumb and fingers, and then held “up” her middle and index finger opened up with her thumb in between.  Hiccup copied these two hand gestures and mouthed “Okay” at the same time only to receive a big beautiful grin from this beautiful blond.  So Hiccup repeated his gesture and vocalized “alright, if I understood you correctly, you think this doorbell invention was a smart idea and you are asking who made it?”  Again she beamed at him with a big ‘yes’ gesture.  Ooh by Thor, he would never get sick of that smile.  In answer Hiccup stood up proudly and pointed to himself.  Astrid raised her eyebrows and pointed at Hiccup in disbelief.  Taking a lesson out of Astrid’s playbook, Hiccup used the sign for “yes” and pointed again to himself.  

“Oh Midgard, this could become a dangerous mistake.” thought Astrid. In such a short time she was already seriously liking this boy, especially for his inventiveness, and willingness to learn.

Out of view of the young couple, Stoick couldn’t believe his eyes.  A tear rolled down his cheek for what he just joyfully witnessed and he made a silent prayer of gratitude to Odin.

With great enthusiasm Hiccup invited Astrid to have breakfast with him in the great Hall. This is how they continued with Hiccup's unofficial ASL lessons.  Hiccup would first start by saying something and then Astrid would translate for him and he would copy or try to copy how she signed his phrase.

A short while later Hiccup’s dad walked into the Great Hall with Mrs Hofferson on his arm.  Hiccup was facing the door so he noticed the light of the door opening.  His eyes widened, as his jaw dropped in surprise.  Excitedly Hiccup knocked on the table to get Astrid's attention and pointed at the door. Her reaction to her mom holding Stoick’s arm was a near exact mirror of Hiccup's face. When the younger couple looked to each other and saw each other's faces, they had a good laugh.

Hiccup was actually happy for his father.  His mom had been missing for the last fifteen winters and no one really knew if she was dead or alive still. Hiccup had been a baby at the time of her disappearance and as callous as it may sound, he couldn't miss who he didn't know.  As far as Hiccup was concerned his dad showing interest in another woman was more likely a healthy sign, long overdue in coming.

Between signs, slate and speaking, Hiccup asked Astrid if she wanted to come and observe a dragon training session at their kill ring. Astrid asked with a look of dismay, “Will dragons actually be killed?”

Hiccup answered in the negative.  “Not at all. We’re just in early training right now.  All we do is learn about the dragons, how they attack, and how we can defend.  Mind you I question Gobber’s teaching tactics at times.  He believes in learning on the job.”  Hiccup finished with a big wink.  Astrid just simpered back.  Astrid’s reluctance about fighting dragons made Hiccup wonder. “Gobber did inform us that whoever does best in dragon training will get to kill a dragon in front of everyone on graduation day.”  Again Astrid frowned.  “I don’t want it to be me, though right now I’m at the top of the class.”  Astrid raised her eyebrows in curiosity at what Hiccup just explained.  He was top of the class yet he didn’t want to kill a dragon.

“I really don’t mean to offend you but how does a scrawny kid like you lead a class in Dragon killing?”

Hiccup was in no way offended as he was very aware of how he looked in the eyes of others,  so he just stood up and comically flexed his muscles, but had to resort to speech “What, this!!??  This is pure viking manliness!!” and Hiccup pointed to himself.  With a hand next to his mouth conspiratorially he mockingly added,  “Besides I can’t give away my trade secrets, or I’d have to kill ya!”

Oh this kid was just pouring on the charm and breaking her heart at the same time.

With a snicker Astrid communicated to him, “Sure I’ll go with you, but I need to speak with your dad first.”

“alright, I’ll wait for you outside since you don’t know the island.”

“Thank you Hiccup, I’ll see you in a few.”  Hiccup departed from her with an uneasy feeling.  He had thought they had made a connection, but all morning she seemed a little uneasy despite their apparent camaraderie.

Astrid approached her mother and Stoick and dually communicated. “Excuse me mom, I need to speak to Chief Stoick”

“Now Astrrid, I told you alrready you dinnae ‘ave to call me Chief.”

“Well, Sir, I don’t really feel comfortable calling you, er, I’d prefer to call you Chief for now if you don’t mind.  Can you excuse us please mom?  I need to speak to Chief Haddock about my contract.”  After hearing her formal request, Stoick deeply frowned with concern at the beautiful young lady.

“Now young lady, is it absolutely necessary for your motherr to leave?”

“I love you mom, but as an interpreter working under a contract with the Chief, I need to learn to deal with uncomfortable situations on my own.”  Signing “Okay.” to her daughter, Énjal looked dejected while she waved goodbye to Stoick.

“Alrright Miss Hofferrson, since you insist on usin’ forrmal titles, what’s ailin’ ya?  I thought we werre happy with this contrract?” So said Stoick now in full Chief mode.

Astrid had to stand up for herself so she wasn’t going to pull any punches.  “I was happy with our contract Chief Haddock, but I feel like you deceived me.  You hired me to work as an ASL-Norse interpreter for who you said was a deaf young man whom you cherished.  You failed to inform me this young man was your son, and that he has no working knowledge of ASL, and that he is new to the deaf world on top of all that.”

“Well Miss Hofferrson, I could say that you failed to ask me the correct questions to deterrmine this for yourrself---”

“Stop right there Chief.  We are not going to play a game of words and phrasing.  You new of my professional restrictions on the voyage here and you did not disclose the situation to me.  I cannot in good professional conscience honour our contract.”

The Chief was devastated.  Stoick knew she was right and couldn’t in good conscience himself coerce Astrid to go against her dictates.  “Miss Hofferrson, Astrrid, please forgive me.  When yer Aunt Phlegma told me about yer serrvices, I had become blinded by hope and I rreally prrayed that this arrangement would somehow worrk out for mah son and oor people.”

Looking equally forlorn Astrid replied, “I really do understand your predicament, and I forgive you.  I too wish it could have worked out for I have to come to like Hiccup very much as a friend even in this short time.  When can  you arrange our return journey back to Bog?”

“I will need a week to rready a vessel and schedule your rreturn trip.  Fearr not for yer income.  I will honourr the contrract for your rremaining time with us.  Please excuse me now as I must inforrm mah son.”

“No need, sir.  I will.  He invited me to go to your arena with him, so I will inform him of my decision.  Thank you for being so understanding.”  Astrid walked away her head low and biting back tears.  It felt like she was losing her father all over again.

Hiccup was waiting on the Great Hall steps like he said he would and wondered why she was looking so glum.

“Well milady, are you ready for your first day of dragon training?” That honorific just slipped out of Hiccup's mouth without his realizing it; as naturally as an exhalation.

Astrid froze. Signing before writing Astrid asked “Why did you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

Now Astrid blushed and if someone could stutter in ASL, that's what she did. It was like her hands forgot what she was doing.  “My lady.” Then she finger spelled the word the way Hiccup had pronounced it.  Hiccup looked confused so Astrid grabbed the slate and wrote it out.

Hiccup looked up at her, blinked several times before verbalizing, “I-I really do-don't know. I re-really didn't think a-about sa-saying that on purpose.” To himself he thought Oh great. Now I'm stammering like a lovestruck teenager. Which of course he was.

ASL being her actual native language Astrid had to become very good at reading faces and despite his blundering she saw no deceit in his expressions. Now she was just genuinely flattered.

“Never mind. It's alright. I just thought maybe it was some kind of come on.”

That was a bit of slang Hiccup had never heard before but just shook his head in the negative hoping it was the right response.  He did his best to ask her what was wrong with his new tiny ASL vocabulary.  Astrid didn't have the time or patience to explain her difficulties in sign so she used the slate again.  She filled the slate several times explaining again the dilemma his father knew about.

Now it was Hiccup's turn to bite back tears.  Here was someone, an extremely pretty girl no less, who was willing to get to know him, work with him and not judge or humiliate him like so many others he grew up with. For this reason she shone with a beauty that far surpassed her visual appearance, and he really did not want her to sail away from his life.  This was just another problem he and his intellect would have to tackle as he did in creating Toothless' prosthetic tail fin.

“Well, there's a week ahead of us before you have to leave. I'm sure we can work out a solution.” Hiccup attempted to sooth both Astrid and himself.

“Please don't be like your dad with the stubbornness issues thing. I have tried to think of a way around this from a more knowledgeable perspective than you, but I'm still stymied.”  Astrid stubbornly replied.

“We can discuss this later, here's the Arena.”

They walked in via the steps and the open portcullis.  Before they could walk in three steps Snotlout hip checked Hiccup out of his way to flirt with Astrid.  “Hey babe, what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a dump like this? Oh, I know, you travelled all this way to come and see a real man.” Then he flexed his right bicep, while arrogantly wrapping his left arm around Astrid's shoulders.

This gave Astrid the perfect opportunity to show her skills in her secondary field of studies.  She grabbed his left thumb, flexing it backwards, deftly ducked down, twisting his thumb and his arm along with it, and came back up behind Snotlout shoving his forearm up between his shoulder blades painfully. She followed this up with a face plant into the granite wall of the arena.

“Oh, do you mean Hiccup here? He's a real gentleman. Not a snot nosed stuck up baboon like you!”

Not being all that far away, the twins and Fishlegs were able to witness this incredible feat of self defence that befell their eyes. Tuffnut fell on the ground in hysterics, while his sister with a screechy voice exclaimed, “Yeah sister!!

Fishlegs was just flabbergasted.

Hiccup, on the other hand, was pleasantly surprised that someone finally gave Snotlout a taste of his own medicine.

“Hey! This hurts, can you let me go now?” asked a muffled Snotlout with his lips mashed into the wall.

Astrid was not through with her little seminar.  “I didn't hear the magic word.”

Gobber just happened to walk in and since no one had lost a limb or was bleeding to death he joined the other teens to enjoy this entertainment.

“Please.” Snotlout supplied.

With another quip Astrid clarified, “Oh, I'm sorry. I meant the magic phrase.”

“What are you talking about? I don't know any magic phrases.” Whined the Lout.

Fishlegs resigned to intervene a little and since he decided to carry his own slate around now, he wrote down for his classmate, “I am sorry.” As he raised it to show Snotlout, Hiccup spotted what he was doing, so he grabbed the slate and added, “for being such an ass.” and then gave it back to Fishlegs who held it up for the bull headed adolescent to read.

With great difficulty in swallowing his horse pill of pride, Snotlout muttered, “I'm sorry for being such an ass.”

Astrid was actually surprised at this last statement so she looked to wear Snotlout was gazing.  She nearly laughed and slowly released the stocky boys arm. “Good boy. Don't try that again.  Ask Stoick, I'm a very good teacher.”

All the teens and Gobber raised their eyebrows at this statement but it was lost on Hiccup.  Hiccup knew something was up based on the facial expressions around him.  He would have to ask Astrid later.

Astrid decided not to clarify her statement, letting them puzzle that one over.

After Gobber picked up his jaw, he carried on with his next lesson.  “Now yer shields and weapons can be used for morre than just attack and defence, they can also be used to make lots of noise which can confuse some drragons. So go grab yer favourrite toys, you too Astrrid, and see how you fare with oor buddy the Grronckle again.”

So in keeping his promise to the Gronckle, Gobber released the dragon from its pen.

Stupidly the fraternal brother-sister twins decided to argue who got just one shield out of half a dozen.

Unfortunately the Gronckle recognized Hiccup from their last encounter and buzzed straight for him, its wings a blur.

Hiccup anticipated this ploy, and just as the dragon approached him he ran at the dragon, ducked and slid right under him.  The poor Gronckle hadn't seen that coming. It stopped as fast as it could only to be surrounded by three other teen Vikings, all pounding their shields or clanging their weapons.  The noise vibrations were doing their job in scrambling the poor dragons senses.  Out of pure frustration it let loose with a lava boulder blast knocking the one shield from the grasp of both twins.

“Rruff, Tuff, yoo'rre out!” Gobber shouted and the twins ran for cover behind a stone lean-to.

Spinning in confusion, the dragon let loose with two more lucky blasts dislodging two more shields. Gobber again announced, “Snotlout, Fishlegs yoo're out!” and they ran for cover as well.

Now it was only Hiccup and Astrid.  The Gronckle flew at Astrid who played the same little trick Hiccup did earlier. Now that its momentum was up, the sausage like dragon with hummingbird action wings, veered for Hiccup.  

In panic Gobber again screamed Hiccup’s name in alarm, went charging in to save the son of the Chief and the heir to the Hooligan tribe. Gobber’s view was momentarily blocked by having to scurry down the stairs and ramp to the arena. When he finally arrived Hiccup was standing and the Gronckle was rolling around on the ground like a kitten high on catnip.

On Hiccup's test flight with Toothless, the black drake had taken Hiccup to an island with some long wavy grass.  It had an unusual effect on Toothless making him do pretty much the same thing the Gronckle was doing now.

Hiccup quickly saw the advantage to this grass and collected a whole bunch of it.

When the Gronckle made his last attack, Hiccup dropped his weapons,  took the dragon nip out from his vest pocket and rubbed it all over the Gronckle's nose.  Happily knocking old boulder face out of commission.

As with Toothless, Hiccup discovered that by dropping his weapons, thus removing a threat, the dragons lost their aggression, allowing him to use the ploys he learned from Toothless.

Astrid was utterly surprised by this happy ending even if she couldn't figure out how her now favourite scrawny Viking had pulled that off.  She was equally amused by Snotlout’s temper tantrum.

“Argh.  How's that scrawny good for nothing wimp do it?!  What's he got that I don't? For Thor's sake. Odin dammit!! What's happening with this world?!” Spat out a very disgruntled Snotlout.

Unable to resist bugging him some more, Astrid advised, “You better watch who's names you use in vain.”

Snotlout cringed and looked to the heavens, fearing a lightning strike.

Partially signing, Hiccup asked Astrid, “Oh man!  I'd love to know what you told him? I have a project to work on, and you can help me out. Come on and you can tell me what you told old Snot-for-brains.”

Astrid couldn't help laughing at that. For Astrid this was an interesting development. Her smarts were in two totally different fields, what could she help this Viking genius with? So she enthusiastically signed, “alright, lead the way.”

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A/N:  Apparently I may have confused some readers of this tale.  I have had several reviewers ask “Why is Astrid not allowed to teach Hiccup ASL?”  In the real world it is a linguistic and cultural issue in the deaf community.  Only someone who is deaf and raised in that environment, will truly be qualified to teach ASL, and all of its subtleties.  This actually would apply to any other language as well.  

In this case, Astrid is an interpreter.  Her job is to “Translate” ASL to Norse and back again.  She’s not an instructor.

This was also covered back in Chapter 9: Instructions

I Hope this clears up any confusion.

For a more detailed explanation please visit www handspeak dot com slash teach slash index dot php?id=12

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Sign of the Chapter - Self-defense: Tap your chin with your dominant thumb sticking out from your fist, then cross both fists at the wrists and push them out slightly as if warding off a blow. Self-defense.

CHAPTER 14: LEARNING

The first thing Hiccup did was take Astrid to the forge where he showed her his private think space. He hadn't done it to show off but she had been impressed nevertheless.  There were diagrams, sketches, odd line drawings with numbers, and beautiful artistic sketches of what she assumed to be Berk and its people's.

Astrid laughed when she saw a caricature of that asinine Snotlout.  Hiccup had portrayed him with a boars nose and tusks, dressed up like some kind of dandy, with a pig in a dress on his arm.  Astrid thought it was a good thing this was his private place or pig-boy would probably kill him.

Astrid tapped Hiccup's shoulder and pointed to Snotlout's portrait. “That reminds me to tell you why Snotlout was cringing in the arena.  He was cursing the gods over your win, so I told him he’d better watch whose names he's using in vain.” Then she winked.

Laughing, Hiccup pointed to her and signed,  “I like you girl!”

Pointing again to the portrait again she used her middle and index fingers of her right hand to stroke down the end of her nose twice, followed by holding out two clawed hands, palm facing palm, over each other and pumping them back and forth twice alternatingly. While she did this she pretended to laugh heartily.

So Hiccup signed back with an ‘O’ shaped hand, pointed to Astrid, touched his left index finger to his temple, pointed to his amusing image and then not so sure about the last sign, copied Astrid's nose stroking and lifted both his palms. Translated it meant, “Oh, you think that picture is ‘funny?’”

Now imitating her mother like a giddy school girl, Astrid jumped up and down clapping her hands. Then she grabbed Hiccup and gave him a quick hug.

Of course Gobber just happened to come looking for Hiccup at this perfect time.

As much as Hiccup loved this contact, he turned absolutely beet red thanks to Gobber's impeccable timing.

Astrid hadn't realized Gobber was behind her until she heard him. “Well boyo, that dinnae take long.  Snotlout should be taking lessons frrom you.”

Astrid's facial colour quickly matched that of Hiccup's, but she was actually able to laugh aloud at Gobber's comment.  Then she signed something both Hiccup and Gobber both needed an explanation for.  She started off with, “Oh that brainless blunder is such an---” ending by forming a small ‘o’ with her index finger and thumb and fanning down the rest of her fingers around stomach height.  Hiccup and Gobber looked at each other then at Astrid raising their shoulders and hands in unison in that universal look of, “Say what?”

Not wanting to say aloud her vulgarity, she attempted a more simplistic charade.  She slapped her butt with her right hand and then formed an ‘O’ shape with same hand.  

That just sent Gobber and Hiccup into fits of laughter with both males practising her new sign while pointing to the picture of Snotlout.

A chagrined Astrid mumbled to herself, “Forgive me Thor, I've created monsters.”

Wiping way laugh-tears Hiccup thanked Astrid for the best laugh he'd had in ages.

Gobber thanked her as well.  At least they didn't ask her for a whole bunch of other dirty and swear words like so many others do when learning a new language.

“Oh ho hoo hoo Astrid. Now we've got to get to work.” Hiccup took out a couple of diagrams of his modified signalling doorbell system.

“What are these?” Astrid asked Hiccup.

“My revised design for my door alert system. It won't take us long to assemble the components and then we can install them at the guest cottage for you and your mom.”

“No, Hiccup. You don't have to do that. We're not going to be here long enough for you to put in all that work.”

“Oh it’s not just for you. We do house other guests there. Maybe they're not all as deaf as me, but at least the guest cottage will be equipped for when you and your mom come back to visit.” This Hiccup mentioned hopefully.  “And besides it'll give me a chance to test this new prototype.”

Hiccup hadn't been able to sleep much last night so he spent more time making the components. Now they just had to assemble them.  This also gave Hiccup a chance to get to know Astrid a little better.

Hiccup's new design was more like a turnstile with four multi faceted fin blades and a canister with two open faces to place a lantern in. That way in the daylight they would work like the pinwheels and at night time it would make the lanterns appear to blink off and on.

The pinwheel design and these new flashers incorporated a spring mechanism to allow the cord to retract automatically.

“Hiccup, you have one gifted imagination.” Astrid couldn't help complimenting him.

Blushing he told Astrid, “Thank you” by touching the fingers of his left flattened hand to his chin palm in, then pushing his hand forward away from his chin as Astrid had earlier taught him.  “As I told my friend Fishlegs, necessity is the mother of invention.”

“Well deaf people have been around since pretty much the beginning of time, and none of them have thought up anything like this. This is brilliant.”

Hiccup was on cloud nine receiving such praise from the prettiest girl he'd ever met. A girl he was sure he'd just fell in love with.  This is crazy, how can I love a girl in less than two whole days? He thought to himself. Then he clapped his hands over his mouth uncertain if he'd said that aloud. He must not have because Astrid didn't seem to react.  

About an hour and a half later, Astrid carried the mechanisms and Hiccup easily carried his tool box. It was not a child's tool box either. Astrid was able to observe the apparent ease with which he carried it, but his arms belied a hidden strength.  She could see tough sinewy muscle at work up his arm disappearing into his tunic sleeve and flexing the muscles of his neck and shoulder. He was apprentice to the blacksmith.  That had to work someone's upper body strength. She knew she was strong for a girl, but she didn’t think she could take him in an arm wrestle.

They arrived at the guest cottage and Astrid checked to see if her mom was in.  She was apparently out and about.

After telling Hiccup he got right to work.  He only had to bore the one hole for the doorbell cord, everything else was installed outside of the windows.  With Astrid’s help the work was done fairly quickly.  Hiccup enjoyed having a partner to work with, even if his deafness made it a little more difficult in terms of communication.  That seemed to be the one downside to sign language that he could yet see.  One had to stop working with their hands in order to communicate.  That is something he should have expected though, after all he was used to having five senses and now he was down to four.

Astrid enjoyed working on this project with Hiccup.  It was certainly different than her normal domestic chores.

“Go ahead and light the lanterns milady and we’ll give it a test run.” Hiccup again said to Astrid.  Now she was pretty sure he was just using it as a term of endearment, but why she had no clue.  It was daylight out so the lanterns probably wouldn’t actually be effective.

She asked Hiccup, “Why light the lanterns now?”

Again with his limited ASL vocabulary he had to voice his explanations, but he tried really hard to sign as much as possible. So he told Astrid to start demonstrating again as he answered her.

“I can still go inside and check if the reflectors are turning properly and if they might cause the lanterns to blow out.  Obviously the doorbell won’t do your mom or I much good, but it will still tell the person pulling the cord that the bell sounded.  Give me a count of 30 and I’ll go in to check on the wheels and lanterns.”

Astrid waited, and then pulled the cord.  The bell rang and the one reflector she could see seemed to work perfectly. The lantern itself was another invention of Hiccups which fascinated her.  It had a base to hold melted fish, seal, or whale blubber oil, with a wick, and a glass bottle type cover protecting the flame, so even when windy, the flame stayed lit. Thanks to the fins, the flame was even more protected as they also diffused the wind.

Astrid went inside and expressed to Hiccup, “I hope my mom is home tonight so we can surprise her with this.  This is really something Hiccup. Thank you.” Then she stunned Hiccup with a quick peck to his cheek.

Squeaking and signing with pleasant surprise, Hiccup answered, “No, thank you.  You made this little chore fun.”

Astrid rebutted this with, “Not a chore, a project.  Chores are like doing dishes, or making the beds.  This was too much fun to be a chore.  Thanks again for inviting me to help.”

Now Hiccup had his chance.  “So what lead you to become an ASL-Norse interpreter?  I don’t think you are much older than me if at all, so you must be very smart to have enrolled in the Scholar’s Institute as young as you are.”

“Now you are just trying to flatter me.” Astrid replied with a quirky grin and rosy cheeks.  “Well if it’s not obvious, the fact that ASL is actually my native language was one of the reasons I was able to enroll as young as I am.  Not to brag but I am on the smarter side which was another reason they allowed my early enrollment.  That and the demand for interpreters is high, so I will be guaranteed work for life or until my hands give out.  That happens with some interpreters, their hands become painful and stiff and they can no longer do the job.

“How long did it take you to learn the trade?”

Astrid laughed a little at that question. “That's been a lifelong process and I won't ever stop, but if you mean formally, my studies program took three years.  Not all interpreters have deaf parents so they sometimes take four to five years to learn the trade.”

Hiccup could tell right from the start she was a very bright person. “I think I'm even more impressed now.”

“How about you, how did you become such a clever blacksmith?”

“Well I'm only an apprentice right now,” and knuckling his noggin he finished by saying “the School of Hard Knocks.”

With surprise Astrid then asked, “With designs and ideas like these you had no formal education?”

“My dad, Gobber and our healer Gothi taught me my three R’s.”  Astrid looked puzzled.  Despite her years of formal education she had never heard that expression.

“You mean you never heard of the three R's?” Hiccup puzzled.

Chagrined, Astrid shook her head.

With a smirk and trying to sound like a pirate, Hiccup explained, “Rrreading, wrrriting, arrrithmetic.”

Feeling like an airhead, she slapped her forehead and groaned.

Hiccup laughed at her reaction. “After that I guess I had a natural gift for Math, and my imagination carried me from there. I literally learned from the School of Hard Knocks.  A lot of my first ideas and inventions were big flops that I had to learn from.”

“Then I would say you have learned very well.” Astrid admitted impressed.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“You just did!” Astrid signed with a grin.

Hiccup gave her a sarcastic smirk.  “At breakfast I noticed you didn't react well to the idea of killing dragons. Why is that?”

That seemed to trigger a sensitive memory. Astrid answered him by explaining, “I know not everyone would agree with me, but I think they're beautiful and intelligent.  I just wish there was a way to keep them from raiding the islands without hurting them.”

Hiccup was stupefied. Now he had an even stronger reason for falling in love with this girl. Not only had he connected with her like no other person on the island, but now she's expressing a respect and love of dragons as well.

From the smithy Astrid could hear Gobber yelling for Hiccup.  “Get yer scrrawny arse down ta the forrge, it's time ta get ta worrk.”  Gobber must have forgotten that Hiccup was deaf or realized he was still with her.  With a tinge of embarrassment she interpreted for Hiccup what Gobber had shouted.

So Hiccup shouted back, “I'll be right there!” That was loud enough to make Astrid flinch. “Sorry, I have no way to tell how loud I get.  I don't know how long I will be so meet me at the Great Hall for lunch.”

“Uh-uh, no way, I have no wish to encounter Snotlout alone, and besides your dad hired me to be your interpreter.”

Pleasantly surprised at this, Hiccup swept his arm out in front of him with a bow. “After you milady.”

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Intelligent: Using your dominant hand, touch your temple with your bent middle finger while holding all the other digits spread open.  Then quickly flick your hand out so the middle finger faces forward. Intelligent; also the same for smart.

CHAPTER 15: TENSION

Gobber’s idea of work was to treat the teens in dragon training to an instructional barbecue for lunch.

While they enjoyed chicken, he briefly went over the Book of Dragons which he had stolen from the Meathead Public Library. “It will be on the bookshelf in the Grreat Hall forr anyone who wants to look at it.”

Snotlout piped up with, “Why would we do that when we could just kill the stuff in the book that the book tells you stuff about?”

Astrid signed to Hiccup with what looked like a peace sign with closed fingers but touching the back of her hand to her forehead and then pointing to Snotlout. Not being clear on that one he mouthed to her, “Idiot?” When she signed ‘yes’ he coughed out a laugh.

“Well Snotlout if ye rread the book ye will learrn that a downed drragon is a dead drragon. So if you get the wings or tail it cannae fly.”

Daringly Hiccup asked Gobber, “Have you ever seen a dragon, unprovoked, attack a person?”

Gobber looked a little bitter at this question, and the rest of the teens other than Astrid just gawked at him. “What da ya think took off mah left hand?  That drragon must have told his frriends I was verry tasty, 'cause eight weeks later anotherr drragon took mah rright leg.”

“I'm not trying to upset you Gobber, I am just legitimately wondering? When that dragon attacked you, did you have any weapons in your hands?”  Astrid could see where Hiccup was going with this, even if Gobber couldn't.

Gobber was not in the mood to listen to this line of reasoning. “Look arround ye Hiccup, all these houses arre new, and on a monthly basis those drragons rraid us for oor livestock. And how many of oor people have died fightin’ them?”

“Please think about it Gobber.  There really haven't been any people killed by actual dragon attacks. Those that got killed were killed by secondary incidents like falling buildings. The other few people were attacked because the dragons were defending themselves, and even they were not killed just lost limbs.”

“I can't believe ye Hiccup! Arre ye becomin’ a drragon lover like yer motherr was? She disappearred because o’ that kind o’ thinkin’.” Ooh that stung. This was one of those situations where Astrid didn't like her job. Being the bearer of bad tidings or personal attacks like this.

Disgruntled, Hiccup scowled. “Alright Gobber, I'll drop it if you will.”

“ye'rre damned rright ye will.  Class dismissed.” and Gobber left in a huff.

“Yes!” Cried Snotlout, “Our so called dragon master gets dropped a few rungs.  I love it.”

Tuffnut had to put in his two coppers as well.  “I don't know who's more entertaining, Snotlout or you?”

Ruffnut wasn't as dumb as she lead others to believe especially when she whispered to Hiccup or Astrid actually.  “Don't tell anyone I said anything, but I think you may be onto something.”

This really surprised Hiccup. Ruffnut figured if a bright girl like Astrid could develop a respect for Hiccup then he couldn't be all that bad or clueless.

“I'm going to check out that book, did you guys want to come with me?” asked Fishlegs.  

“I'm game, how about you, Astrid?” Hiccup asked.  

Holding up a flattened splayed hand, fingers up and thumb to her sternum, she pushed it out from her chest to say, “That's fine with me.”  After her agreement, the trio left for the Great Hall together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gobber was indeed upset and went right to the Haddock lodge.  He went to knock on the door and halted when he saw the sign. He mouthed the words, “What the…?” He pulled on the cord of Hiccup's latest contraption and was shocked to hear it actually work then to see the spinning pinwheel out of the corner of his eye.  This reminder of his apprentice's brilliance was almost enough to calm him down.  

Stoick promptly answered the door. “Oh Gobber, come on in. Would you like a mug of mead?”

“I surre would, especially afterr the arrgument I had with yer son.  Oh, hello, Mrs Hofferson.” and he waved to her.  There was a slate on the table full of Stoick's handwriting.  

Putting the mead on the table Stoick asked him, “So how's Hiccup crrawling under yer skin now?” He chuckled and wrote on the slate for Énjal  to follow.  

“It seems like he is taking afterr Valka morre an’ morre everryday.”

Stoick wrote on the slate, “Please excuse me, Énjal, it will be faster for me to update you later.” As she had been teaching Stoick some sign language herself, she signed, “Okay” and left the cottage to go look for her daughter.  He hadn't meant for her to leave but that was alright.

“alright Gobber, spit it out.”

“yer son was trrying to tell me that drragons don't attack people unless it is in self-defence.”

“Well Gobber, is that so?”

“Yes and then he trried to get me to see his rreasonin’, askin’ if I’d everr seen someone attacked by a drragon without cause.  I tell you Stoick, if he wasn’t yer son I would have put him overr mah knee and walloped his fanny good.”

“Hmmm.” and that actually got Stoick lost in thought to some degree.

“Stoick!  You cannae be tellin’ me that you can give some crredit to this cockamamie theorry of his?”

“Mmm yes.  A little.  ye might want ta think about it as well.  Had ye not wonderred about how fast I was able to make the rround trrip to the Bog Burglars?”

“Now that you mention it I had, but I forrgot to ask aboot it.”

So Stoick regaled him with his little sea dragons escapade.

“And ye’rre sure that was Drrago’s ship?”

Answering Gobber Stoick explained, “Thanks to that distance viewerr of Hiccup’s, 99 perrcent sure.  I couldnae make out the crrest on the sail, but a thrree hulled vessel is not easily forrgotten. If it was Drrago I doubt he knew we werre a Berrkian ship.  No one else I know of has distance viewerrs and he would have had enough time to rreturn here if he knew the Sea Drragon was a vessel of Berrk.  He was prrobably just tarrgeting any ship to pillage it.”

Gobber gave Hiccup’s theory a little thought despite his bitterness.  How was it that scrawny screw-up was doing so well in dragon training, and every time he had managed to lay flat a dragon, no weapons were in his hands.

“Gobber!  When’s the last time we were rraided by drragons?” Stoick inquired.

“I’d say about nine to ten days ago, just beforre Hiccup lost….his….hearing?”  Gobber was developing a suspicious idea, but couldn’t bring it into focus.

Stoick hadn’t quite caught Gobber’s hesitation because he was formulating another plan.  “Good, so we prrobably have another thrree to four weeks beforre another rraid.  I want to arrange anotherr scouting voyage to look for that drragons’ nest.”

Despite the discussion they just had this surprised Gobber.  “Afterr what we just talked aboot?”

“I didn’t say I trrusted the drragons yet.  I would still prrefer ta make a prreemptive strrike and guarrantee mah people’s survival.  Also by deploying the ships I can delay the deparrture of Énjal and Astrrid a little furrther.  It seems she and Hiccup have made a connection and I’m hoping by giving them morre time they will  find a solution to Astrrid’s ethical dilemma.”

Gobber’s curiosity flared up again.  “What’s their prroblem?  I didn’t mean for that to sound so nasty.”

“Astrrid tells me as a hearing perrson she’s not allowed to teach ASL although she seems to be doing a fine job unofficially.”

“So arre ye from what I saw between ye and Mrs Hofferrson. Has she been giving ye prrivate lessons? Wink wink.”

Stroking his hand down his face Stoick shook his head. “I was afrraid you would take this the wrrong way.  Let me explain.  Yes, I admit I have become lonely over the last fifteen winterrs, and therre’s no way for me to know what’s happened to Valka.  I still love her dearrly Gobber, but I am also surrprised by how I have warrmed up to Astrrid’s ma.  Despite oor language barrier she is verry charrming.”

“Somethin’ tells me you arre also charrmed by the frriendship grrowing between Hiccup and Astrrid as well.”

“I won’t deny it.  She seems to be a verry sweet young lady.”

Gobber laughed which made Stoick looked at him perplexed.  “I know one young stocky man who may not think so.”  So Gobber explained the incident he half witnessed in the arena.

With a bellow of laughter Stoick declared, “Oh ho, now I like her even morre!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hmmm, the book doesn’t have anything on Night Furies?” Hiccup puzzled.

“That’s because no one’s ever seen one and lived to tell the tale.  Or so I’ve heard.” Answered Fishlegs.

“I’ll bet.” Hiccup replied with a coy grin..

Astrid raised an eyebrow at his grin. He wasn’t revealing something.

“Hey Fishlegs, I’m bushed and I’m sure Astrid needs a break from babysitting me.  Oh, hey Mrs Hofferson!!” And Hiccup waved her over.  Doing his best he signed to Astrid’s mom “Thank you for giving me your beautiful daughter.”

Well there was an amusing blunder.  Mrs Hofferson coughed up a laugh and covered her mouth, and then she pointed to Astrid and then Hiccup and shook her hand like it was hot as if to say, “Ooh la la”.  Flattered, embarrassed and laughing herself Astrid informed Hiccup of what he actually signed.  

Fishlegs was enjoying the entertainment of Hiccup’s blush going down his face like an upside down thermometer.

“Oh gods Astrid.  I’m sorry, I meant to say”--- this time Hiccup voiced it so not to screw up again. “lending me your beautiful daughter” which didn’t sound much better. Flustered he just threw his arms up in the air.  “That’s it, that’s all, just forget I said anything!  I’m going to jump off a cliff now. Bye!” So Hiccup walked out the door.

Five seconds later he popped back in.  “Hey Astrid!”

Still laughing she replies “Yes?”

“Care to go for a walk later?”

Wiping away tears she happily fist nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not long after Stoick entered the Great Hall looking for Énjal and Astrid. He was looking very pleased with himself.

“Hello Stoick.“ Énjal signed using the name sign She had given to him.  

Not that this surprised Astrid as usually it was a deaf person who assigned a name to someone. When Astrid had “named” Hiccup, it wasn't as a name but the sign for an involuntary diaphragmatic spasm. The word stoick was normally finger spelled but Énjal formed the letter “S” with her right hand and then using a left closed fingered, open “C” she simulated a cape flowing down with her left hand. What surprised Astrid was the happy glow on her mother's face.  She really hoped her mom wasn't growing too fond of the Chief. She had yet to break the news they were going to be returning to Bog Island in a week's time.

“Astrrid, can you please interprret for me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Bowing to Astrid he signed, “Thank you,”  then reverted back to speech, “you will be so much fasterr than me wrritin’ and signin’.  Well I hope I found a solution to Astrrid’s prrofessional conflict. And you Énjal maybe the key.”

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Tension: As you make a grimace, bring up both hands, stopping them suddenly as claws facing out in front of your chest. Tense or tension.

CHAPTER 16: HOPE

“I think I know where you get your genius from.” Astrid cried out even though she knew Hiccup couldn't hear her.  Of course he didn't have to hear to see she was excited about something.

“Whoa, slow down friend.” He wanted to say girlfriend but he didn't want to give her the wrong impression, nor risk ruining what he perceived to be a really good thing.  “Do you want to try again with a little of your ASL magic?”

In a very un-Viking like way, Astrid  jumped up and down, shaking her hands like a little school girl.  She then stopped, took a big breath, and carried on in ASL.  “I don't know why I didn't think of it myself, but of course I have to check with the Institute to see if this is an acceptable solution.  Your dad said he would send triplicate letters to the scholars Institute on Bog Island in the morning by falcon mail?”

Unfortunately Hiccup only looked dazed and confused after watching her hands a blur.

Grabbing his slate she repeated herself.

“Letters for what? I think you need to backtrack a little.”

Blowing out her cheeks a little because she was kind of frustrated she reiterated what she earlier tried to tell him.

Smugly Hiccup said, “So you think I'm a genius? Er---I mean who do I get my genius from?”

“Your dad---” she ended by forming her left hand in a “Y” shape by holding up only her thumb and little finger in front of her nose, and giving it a little twisting shake, “silly!”

Hiccup was able to lipread the last word, “I know my dad is silly, what does that have to do with anything?” he said with a “quirked” grin.

“Ahhh!!” Astrid screamed in frustration.

“Well that wasn't hard to lip-read.” Hiccup confessed snickering.

Astrid punched him in the shoulder for that one.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a butthole.” She signed.

Pouting, Hiccup signed back, “I am not a Snotlout.” He said the name at the end, because he couldn't fingerspell it.

Despite her trying to be stern, she had to laugh over that comment.

“Okay, alright.  It was your dad who who remembered what I said on the ship ride here. I had told him I could not teach Archipelago Sign Language because the deaf Community frowned upon hearing people teaching sign language. Your dad however remembered my telling him that it was my mom who taught me and my dad.  My mom being deaf could become your ASL teacher. The letters are to get confirmation as to whether that would be an acceptable solution to our little dilemma. Also the fact that you are a late deafened adult, changes your situation a little as well. Your primary language is Norse, and now your secondary language will be ASL. For me it was the other way around. So I may still be able to teach you as a late deafened adult but not completely.”

Hiccup nearly passed out from the joy of this news. “How do you sign ‘fantastic’?  And don't make me wait to ask your mother!”

Laughing Astrid showed him the sign knowing what he wanted to say.

Rubbing his shoulder Hiccup change the subject.

“Say, can you teach me a little of that fighting technique you pulled on Snotlout this morning?

“There’s still a lot of light out, can I teach you some stuff in the arena?”

Remembering a sign from earlier Hiccup used the sign for “fine” and “please”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once in the arena Astrid first showed Hiccup how to take a fall.  She didn't want him breaking any bones or twisting limbs.  Because it was a bit of a crash course she couldn't teach him everything she knew, but if all went well she would have a lot more time in the not so distant future.

Astrid anticipated throwing him around a few times so she demonstrated two ways to take a fall. First was a sideways roll which could lessen the impact of a flying toss, or maneuvering yourself to take the fall as flat as possible spreading the force of impact across your whole body. Other than your head.

She gave him a few easy tosses to give him a chance to practice.

Then she explained some fighting techniques.

“Admittedly I'm stronger than most girls my age, but if I'm to fight someone who is bigger and heavier than me that takes tactics and technique.  You can actually use some of the knowledge you already have. Think leverage and pivot points. You want to use the person's weight and strength to your advantage.”

To show Hiccup what she was talking about she gestured for Hiccup to run at her as if to tackle her.  Being the gentleman that he was he really didn't want to, but then he remembered that she took care of herself just fine with Snotlout.  So Hiccup ran right at her.  It was a good thing Astrid taught him how to fall, because before he knew it he was flying through the air.

“Okay, come at me again slowly this time.”

Thinking I must be a sucker for punishment. He pretended to run at her in slow motion.  This was exactly what Astrid was hoping for, because she would have a hard time explaining to him without sign language or writing.  Just as Hiccup reached her, she grabbed his shoulders, lifted one foot to his sternum, rolled back, and kicked him over her head. She then padded the back of his head with her hand since she didn't actually send him sailing.

After Hiccup got back to his feet he grinned. “Wow! that's impressive.”

“Now you try it on me.” Astrid challenged, “and don't worry you won't hurt me.”

Then she took a flying run at Hiccup, and he actually pulled it off.

“Well you're either lucky, or you're a natural.” Astrid praised him.

“alright, one more throw and then we'll try some weapons training.”

Hiccup gulped after seeing the word “weapons”.  

“Come and put me in a headlock.” Astrid commanded.

As he reached around her neck, Astrid grabbed his arm, pulled it down over her shoulder and raised her rear in the air, lifting him off the ground and flipping him over.  Hiccup remember to spread his body flat to absorb the impact body wide.

“Oh, I think I'm going to be black-and-blue tomorrow.” Hiccup grumbled.

“You and me both, now return the favour.” Astrid couldn’t help the quip as she watched him get back to his feet.

“Well, that's very good for a beginner.” Hiccup didn't know if he should blush or be proud for throwing around a girl.

Next she signed for Hiccup to go choose a sword.  “I'm not actually crazy about wanting to use weapons.” He said concerned.

She just sternly pointed to emphasize her instructions to go choose a sword.

So Hiccup picked one he thought would be to his liking, and lifted it in his right hand.

It was now starting to get a little darker and Hiccup looked up at the sky getting a little worried for his balance.

“I know you'd rather wield a hammer than a sword, but you can use a sword for defense as well as a shield.” Astrid explained. “Now block my blade.”

Astrid intentionally swung her sword short just in case Hiccup failed to block her blade.  Which is exactly what happened.  “Try again.”  This time she thrust the sword at him but kept her thrust short. Again Hiccup miserably failed.

Hiccup used the darkening sky as his excuse. “My eardrums are still healing, and Gothi says my balance won't return until they're healed. When it gets dark out my balance gets worse.

“Listen here blacksmith, it's not your balance that's the problem. I know those noodle arms are way stronger than they look. Put the sword in your left hand and try again.”

Barely giving him time to react Astrid first swiped and then thrust in quick succession, and Hiccup parried both moves. He actually shocked himself.  Without warning Astrid pulled a combination of moves in quick succession not allowing Hiccup any time to think, just to move on instinct.  She tried an upward diagonal swipe, twirled her blade from his deflection to a thrust to his face.  Blocked by a sideways parry she tried spinning around to cut at his legs, and he jumped, she tried several side to side chops unable to break through his defense.  Her final attempts were a series of quick thrusts, all countered by Hiccup’s own quick moves.  When practice was over they both stood there panting for a while.  Hiccup looked at his sword, a little stunned, not quite believing what he had just pulled off.

“Why did you try fighting with your right hand first? You're left-handed.”  Astrid asked, perplexed.

“In my previous failed lessons I was always told to use my right hand.” Hiccup pathetically explained.

“What bloody nincompoop told you that? You're practically a natural, and I wasn't taking it easy on you either.” Astrid again praised him.

Not sure how to react, he just answered, “My dad hired Flashburn to try to teach me.”

“Of the Flashburn School of Sword Fighting?” This was more statement than a question.

Hiccup nodded.

“And that pompous ass couldn't figure out you were left-handed?”

“Apparently not, he didn't even try to teach me sword fighting with my left hand since he was right-handed.” Hiccup confessed.

“I knew you were left-handed from when I was watching you in the Forge, and I know you are stronger than you look because of your blacksmithing. That is not easy work.  Why do you let Snotlout and the others walk all over you?”

Ashamed, Hiccup sincerely answered Astrid by telling her, “I know how much emotional pain hurts, and I can't bring myself to inflict that pain, no matter what the form, on others.” To himself, Hiccup thought I really must love this girl, because I've never confessed that to anyone.

Astrid just nodded in understanding.

Because of how long it took for them to talk back and forth, it finally did get dark.

“Well Astrid, I don't know about you but I'm starving. Let's go eat.”  Hiccup stood up to lead the way but he stumbled.  It was now too dark for his limited balance.

“You weren't kidding about your balance after all.” Since she wasn't sure if Hiccup could read her sign language now she just held out her arm for him.  He gratefully took it, and not just for the help.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Train: Using the curled finger knuckles of your dominant hand, thumb out, rub only the horizontal extended index finger of your opposite hand, about chest high, twice.

CHAPTER 17: DUEL

“Good morning, Dad!” Hiccup cheerily greeted his father after the best night sleep he'd had in a long time.

Stoick shook his head, wagging a finger at him. Silently his father signed, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

Raising his eyebrows in surprise at his dad's larger “signabulary”, Hiccup in return signed back “Good, fine, great!”

Stoick put a plate of eggs and boars bacon in front of Hiccup as well as a cup of cool yak milk.

They were getting better but they were both far away from carrying on a conversation solely in ASL.

“Astrid tells me you're a genius.”

Chuckling, Stoick bragged a little, “You had to get it from somewhere.”

“And here I thought that was a gift from mom.”

With horribly great sorrow Stoick came back with a huge wipe of his nose and visibly inhaling.  “Oh that hurts. That was such a low blow.  Look at me. You made a grown man cry.”

Hiccup just rolled his eyes.

“I learned something new from Astrid yesterday.”

“Besides sign language and how to hug a girl?” Stoick mused.

“Oh, Gobber told you about that, eh?  I think Astrid is more of a genius than Flashburn is.  A better teacher anyway.”

“What!!” Thundered his dad with a fist on the table. Flashburn had tried for three entire weeks to teach his son sword fighting and those lessons cost Stoick a small bag of gold despite his failures.

“She figured out I was left handed after two minutes and had me wield my sword that way. I did better with her in five minutes than I ever did with Flash.”

Holding up his hands, palms facing in, Stoick waggled all his fingers in the gesture to wait. Stoick left the hearth room for his bedroom and came back with two wooden practice swords.

“Dad! I'm not going to fight you!”

“Humour me will you.  This could mean a bonus for Astrid if what you are telling me is true.  I'm a Flashmaster myself so you're not likely to hurt me.”

If it meant a bonus for Astrid then by Odin he would fight his dad.  They went outside and the soon to be dueling combatants looked almost comical; one giant and one pipsqueak.

“Engarrde!” Stoick challenged. It was probably a good thing that Hiccup couldn't hear him. If Haddock Jr had been able to hear, the shock of hearing a foreign word come out of his dad's mouth might have stunned him.

Stoick knew he could easily overpower his son, but he was no fool either.  He knew there were ways for lesser men to trip him up, but there was too great a size difference for those tricks to work for Hiccup.  For Stoick this little duel was about evaluation.

He came quickly at Hiccup with a diagonal down swipe but little force.  Hiccup blocked it easy but took no counter measures. Stoick tried again with a rebound to Hiccup's side which was blocked again.  Stoick pulled back for a thrust to Hiccup's chest which his son quickly parried and returned a thrust of his own catching Stoick off guard a little since his son had been working with purely defensive moves at first.

Stoick tried various combinations only to be parried and countered.

Hiccup's dad was actually impressed.  Now to see how he coped with stronger blows.

At first Hiccup faltered with the first few strikes, then changed his tactics. Instead of trying to out right counter or block with equal force,  he took a two handed grip and would tilt his blade slightly in the same direction his father was swinging, using his dad's greater strength against him. This bending like a tree branch tactic caused his father's wooden blade to deflect away from him, instead of pounding him down.

This maneuver worked so well that on Stoick's last strike the deflection spun Hiccup around quickly enough to wallop his dad's back side with a stinging smack. “Yow!  Well I say that is a grreat deal betterr than Flashburrn's failurres.”  Stoick said rubbing his left bottom cheek.

“What's that Dad?  Speak up, I couldn't hear you!” Was Hiccup's smart arse response.

“Your dad said way better than with Flashburn.” Signed Astrid appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

“Did you actually teach him all that in one lesson?” Stoick inquired in Sign.

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Astrid answered, “Actually no.  Maybe he picked up more from Flashburn than you thought. He just applied his lessons to his left hand this time around. Personally I think he's just gifted and needed someone to point him in the right direction.”

“I am giving ye a bonus forr that anyway.  ye saw in Hiccup in one brrief lesson what a champion sworrd fighter failed to see in thrree thievin’ weeks.”

Astrid interpreted.

“You really thought I was that good dad?”

“By Helheime’s gate yes!” Stoick crowed.

Astrid smugly said and signed for both their benefits.  “I really hope Snotlout challenges you to a practice duel.  I'll wager your dad's offered bonus you could beat him.”

Now Hiccup was blushing with bursting pride.  Praise from his dad and a show of confidence from his favourite blond. “Wow!  If he does I'll accept, but I'm not going to challenge him. I'd rather you keep your bonus.”

“Oh you chicken shit.” Astrid teased.

“Buk buk bukaw!” Hiccup clucked back.

Snickering Astrid told Stoick, “I brought you that letter you asked for. Why did you want three copies.”

“I send it with thrree falcons if it's imporrtant. And lass, this is imporrtant.  In the past single falcons didn't always make it. I suspect they got waylaid by Terrible Terrors.  So by sending thrree rraptors, therre's a better chance of the letter rreaching its destination and the same forr any rreply.”

“Now I get it.”  Astrid signed just with two signs. She pointed to herself followed by holding her right fist near her temple, knuckles facing her and then flicking her index finger straight up in the air. With facial expression she opened her mouth as if she were saying, “Ah” nodding slightly.

Hiccup asked, “May I see the letter?”

Stoick signed “Yes, fine.” While nodding.

Simple gestures yes but Astrid was impressed with their willingness to learn her native language.

The letter was addressed to Master Esdra.

Dear Master Esdra:

May Odin’s blessings be upon you.

I have an unusual request.

When I arrived on Berk I learned that the young man I was to interpret for was a late deafened adult, very new to the deaf world.

I had explained to the Chief the professional prohibitions against interpreters or hearing people teaching ASL.

As my mother has come with me to Berk and for the reason that we are dealing with a late deafened adult, I would like your permission to allow both my mother and I to teach him ASL. The young man, and anyone else on Berk who may be interested to learn.

With love and respect,

Astrid Hofferson

ASL-Norse Interpreter

Jr Class

“As you asked Stoick, no mention of Hiccup's name.” Stated Astrid.  This was a precaution requested by Stoick in case any of the letters were intercepted.  The Falcons were trained to fly to several friendly Chiefs in alliance with Berk.  This set knew BBB very well. That is Big Boobied Bertha. She would then deliver the letter to Esdra.

“Thank you Astrrid. Verry well wrritten.  Leave the letterrs with me and I'll arrange to send them off.” So said Stoick off to another busy chiefing day.

Hiccup waved to Astrid and signed as much as he could, “Let's go have breakfast and then I have a surprise for you.” Before they left he grabbed her elbow and like a magician with some fancy handywork, made a Reinrose appear. “This is for you Milady.”

Smiling Astrid signed, “Why?” by touching her right flattened hand to her upper right head, then folding in her middle three fingers as as she pulled her hand out from her head.

Hiccup answered by telling her, “I thought girls liked flowers.”

She punched his left shoulder.

“Ow!  What was that for?” He whined while rubbing it.

She signed, “Try again.” and put her right hand on her hip and tipped it out.

“I think you make the flower glow!” Well what could she say after that?  She just blushed and gave him a tender kiss on his cheek.  After that he could have sworn he floated to breakfast.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Sword Fight: First make the “X” shape with your dominant hand. Start with a fist and extend your curled index finger to form a loop with your thumb. With your opposite hand, pretend to hold the scabbard of a sword.  Use your dominant hand “X” to pull out the imaginary sword, and swish it in front of you twice. This is the sign for Sword.  Next hold up both fists about shoulders apart, then cross them quickly at the wrists two times for Fight. Sword + Fight - Sword fight.

______________________________________________________________

A/N (Author’s Note):  There was a scene in Roses and Lilies by P-Artsypants where Astrid was reminiscing.  I liked it so much I thought I would bring it “to life” near the end of this chapter.  Can anyone recognize the lines? Thank you P-Artsypants.

CHAPTER 18: REUNION

In the Great Hall Énjal rushed up to Hiccup, gave him a big hug and a peck on the cheek. Then signed to him, “My first and star pupil!”  Hiccup was stunned not expecting such a warm welcome from the mother of his favourite girl.

Again Gobber saw all this and made a quip about Snotlout needing to take lessons from Hiccup.

Ruffnut gagged out, “Don't you dare.  I like him just the way he is. Far far way.”  Astrid signed this and everyone had a good chuckle.

“Gee, I almost feel bad for the guy. It seems like I've turned into a chick magnet or something.”  Smarmed Hiccup.

Astrid was signing this for her mom and Ruffnut caught the sign for chick which looked like her using her thumb and index finger near her mouth to imitate a bird's beak.  So she copied Astrid but started saying, “Peep peep peep” and cuddling up next to Hiccup on his bench.  There was no way Astrid was getting left out, so she told her mom real quick what was happening and then sat on Hiccup's lap as she joined Ruffnut in peeping up against Hiccup, followed by Énjal.

Snotlout and Stoick walked in at just the right time.  

“What in Helheim is going on?!” Snotlout whined, quite miffed when he saw “his girl” cuddling up to Hiccup?!

Gobber just had to rub it in.  “Isn't it obvious, Hiccup is a chick magnet.”

Stoick just bellowed in laughter after hearing that comment and seeing the antics of the three ladies.  

Énjal was laughing so hard she let out a loud toot.  Everyone just stopped to gawk at her. When she noticed she was the centre of attention she looked puzzled and signed.  “What?” Then something occurred to her.  Her own cheeks now turning red she asked Astrid, “Do farts make noise?” Well Astrid just had to interpret that one out loud, which had the entire crowd in the Great Hall in tears of laughter.

After everyone had caught their breaths, and Hiccup's and Énjal's colours returned to near normal, Énjal had to colour his cheeks again.  Giving him another cheek kiss and hug she signed to him, “Thank you so much for your door flashers. Astrid had to show me your invention last night. That is brilliant!” and she followed up with another hug and kiss.

Hiccup thought he was going to pass out from happiness. He'd never received so much positive female attention at one time in all his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After breakfast an elated Hiccup brought Astrid back to the Haddock lodge to prepare for Astrid's surprise. He packed a leather jacket lined with sheep's wool and asked Astrid if she had a warm wind breaking jacket or coat.

“Yes I do,” she signed. “Where is this surprise that I have to dress warm on an early summer’s day?” She signed and wrote.

“I can't tell you. That's part of the surprise.”

Astrid's eyebrows rose when he packed enough food and water for what looked like four days. “Now you really have me wondering.

“Sorry to keep you in suspense.” Hiccup responded.

“Is it alright if I bring my dad's axe?” Astrid requested. Since his little sword fighting performance Hiccup had started wearing a sword so he didn't see the harm in her bringing her axe.  If his surprise didn't care for the weapons, they could be temporarily abandoned.  “Just follow me.” So Hiccup lead her on a one hour hike.

At the entrance to the cove Hiccup faked a coughing fit. He was really hoping that Toothless would think he was someone else and hide. He had hidden himself before, he could do so again. It wasn't like he could yell for Toothless to hide. There was nothing wrong with Astrid's hearing.

Once the couple got down to the floor of the cove, Astrid had to look around in wonder. Talons Hollow was a natural beauty to behold.

Touching Hiccup's shoulder to get his attention, then pointing all around her she signed “What a beautiful little getaway you have here. You didn't bring me here for a picnic did you? We barely just had breakfast.”

Chuckling Hiccup started to speak but Astrid touched his lips with her fingers.  Signing again, “I will be teaching you with my mom's help, try to sign as much as you can.”  Taking his slate she added, “If you don't know the sign try charades or acting it out. Some signs are actually derived from games and play.”

“Okay. I will try my best.” Astrid nodded in approval.

Pointing all around him Hiccup signed. “All this is not the surprise. For that I need to blindfold you.” The last word he didn't know so he mimed the action of blindfolding himself, then pointing to Astrid.  He could tell by the surprised look on her face that she understood him.

A little reluctantly Astrid signed “alright, go ahead.”

Because he had planned this in advance Hiccup had stashed the blindfold in his vest pocket.

With Astrid being blindfolded, sign language was not momentarily necessary.

“Okay Toothless, you can come out now.”

Astrid thought this was another new friend, because there seemed to be a lot of weird names on this island.

Excitedly Toothless came bounding out and then froze. Why was his Hiccup wearing a metal stinger, and the girl wearing a metal chopper on her back. Who was this girl and why were her eyes covered. he wondered.

“It's alright Toothless, I know you don't like the weapons, but we are only wearing them for self-defense against other people.  Please just sit there. I want to introduce you to a very dear friend of mine.”

Astrid felt elated inside from hearing that, and wondered why.

Then Hiccup gently removed her blindfold.

Hiccup did not get the reaction he was hoping for.  Astrid froze and then she started to shake.  Her eyes began to well up with tears, and actually roll down her cheeks. Astrid fell on her knees quietly sobbing.

The reaction from Toothless was equally astonishing.  He slowly approached the kneeling Astrid, sniffed each of her hands and gently licked them.

His girl. His girl! How amazing could his boy be? How was it this boy could help him to fly again, and then mend his broken heart not only with his friendship, but by bringing his girl back to him?

Astrid sobbed in pure joy, wrapped her arms around the dragon and cried out, “Guardian!”

Hiccup stood in stunned silence not knowing what to make of the scene unfolding before him.  Before he could process this activity, Astrid stood up in front of him, wrapped her arms around him held onto him for dear life and cried on his shoulder. Tears of joy and thanks.  Hiccup still confused returned her embrace.

Several sweet moments passed for Hiccup until Astrid was again able to collect herself.  When she finally released Hiccup from her bear hug, she held his face in both her hands and planted a kiss solidly on his mouth.

“You are amazing!” If only Hiccup could hear her ragged hiccupy inhalation.

He raised his hands in confusion, shook his head and pointed to his crimson blushing ears.

She corrected him. “This is the sign for deaf,” and using her right index finger she first pointed to her right ear then to touching her mouth. Signing she continued by pointing to Hiccup and then brushing her right clawed hand, fingers facing in, in front of her face twice. “I said you're amazing!”

“One more time without the hand in front of your face please.” Hiccup asked. She repeated her gestures a little lower so Hiccup could lipread “amazing”.

“Uh, how can I be amazing when I don't understand what just happened?”

Astrid was going to forgive his lapse into speaking. They were both too frazzled to comprehend what just happened.

“I guess this is amazing and whether you planned it or not it's still soo amazing.”

Still looking confused poor Hiccup asked Astrid, “How is it you know Toothless?”

Astrid sobbed out a bit of a laugh. “TOO-hoo-THLESS?!”

Hiccup remembered to sign.  “Yes. Did you know he has retractable teeth?” He had to speak a little there. “When I first got to meet him up close he had no teeth, but I was holding a fish in my hand.  All of a sudden his teeth pop up and I nearly lost my hand.”

With a snicker Astrid explained to Hiccup “I just called him Guardian.”

Hiccup really wanted to get next to Astrid to give her comfort, but he could also do that just by being an attentive friend. He thus sat in front of her to pay attention to her tale.

The cottage erupted in flames having been struck multiple times by the lightning of the Skrill.

Axle, her brown haired, tall, eighteen stone father, was burning his hands clearing debris to get to his six year old Astrid.  Understandably she was terrified, but he needed her to be even more terrified.  This was the first and last time he would ever yell at her.  “Astrid get over here now or I will tan your backside until it’s black and blue!”  

Not knowing what she did to deserve getting yelled at she ran into her father’s arms screaming, “I’m sorry Daddy!  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for whatever I did wrong.”

There was no time for explanations.  Axle had to get her out of that structure.  He moved to the front entry only to hear an overhead beam crack.  He threw Astrid as far as he could before being crushed under burning debris.

“DADDY!!” Astrid screamed so loud she burst blood vessels in her eyes.

Then she heard Uncle Finn calling for her.  

The Night Fury was furious.  That damnable Skrill was doing all it could to make men hate dragons.  Men could not tell a Skrill from dragons.  Dragons breathed fire in many forms.  Some could use the power of Thor as the Seashockers do, but a Skrill draws the power of Thor from the air and can breathe it down at will.

Dragons always knew not to attack men or their children, but men could not tell the difference between dragons and a Skrill. Skrill were vile creatures with no principles and killed for the shear pleasure.

The Night Fury was determined to put an end to this Skrill before it could further damage relations between Mankind and Dragon kind.  No dragon was swifter than he, not even the Skrill.  The Skrill knew that as long as that Fury was alive, it was in danger.  The Skrill was more powerful and had killed many Furies before, but this one worried him. It was fast. The Fastest dragon he had ever witnessed. He couldn’t track this Fury well enough to breathe it down.

After destroying the home of a man, a little girl ran out.  Another man cried out to the little girl.  The girl ran to the man but an accidental ally in the form of a Flightmare waylaid the man spraying him with his glowing spit.  The man was frozen in paralysis.

The Skrill forgot the Night Fury in favour of easy prey and it descended upon the frozen man breaking it’s feeble back.

Again the little girl screamed, and the Skrill couldn’t believe it’s luck to be able to destroy an offspring of Men.

The savagery of this Skrill was disgusting and angered the Night Fury to the point of recklessness.  The Skrill turned its attention on the hapless human female child.

This ends now! The Fury screamed its piercing shriek distracting the Skrill from the girl.  He fired four devastating plasma blasts so rapidly that they pounded the Skrill into the earth demolishing its wings.  The Skrill was still dangerous so he had to act swiftly.  He dove onto that wicked beast without concern for his own well being breaking a forepaw upon impact with the Skrill.

The Skrill attempted to throw off his attacker but it was too stunned by the blow and the next thing he knew was that the onyx drake, despite his broken forepaw, had ripped his jaws open and spewed a long stream of searing white blue plasma down its gullet. The lightning is finished and will not revive.

The little girl was crying over the man, and there were still many dragons raiding for food to feed the Giant Queen.  The black one jumped to the girl of golden top “sunfur” wrapping its wings around her to comfort and protect.

The black one was difficult to see in the night.  He saw a woman. The woman was crying but her speech couldn’t be comprehended.  He watched the woman waving her hands in very specific motions.  The woman’s eyes and hair were very much like that of the little girl he protected.  He slowly opened his wings to reveal in the light of the fires the little girl who was hugging and kissing him.

The woman removed her metal chopper and charged at the black one with a horrendous yell.  This frightened the little girl who waved frantically at the woman.  Then the little female moved her hands in peculiar ways and the adult female stopped her attack.  It appeared to the drake that the little female gestured for the adult to come closer, but the Fury of Night cared not for the weapon and again crouched down, baring its teeth and wrapping the female child in protection, even if it cost his life.  The little girl struggled with him so he released her again.  More hand gestures and the woman put down her chopper.  The little female made more gestures and cautiously the adult approached.  Seeing the little one kiss and pet him again, the adult kneeled down to do the same.  The Fury of Night felt a new kind of warmth deep down in his very soul.

“After that He just disappeared with the other dragons. Yes,  we were devastated by the loss of both my father and uncle, my mom's brother, the only other person on Thunderhead Island who knew ASL. He had been married to my aunt, your Phlegma the Fierce. I don't know the reason but they ended up separating. That had broken my uncle's heart, and he never found another woman.  After learning of a sizeable deaf community on the Island of Bog my mom arranged for us to move there.”

Astounded by Astrid’s tale, Hiccup turned to Toothless.  He knew that Toothless was intelligent and could even understand a lot of human speech.  So signing and speaking he asked Toothless.  “Are you the Night fury that saved Astrid here?”

It  had never occurred to Astrid that this could be another Night Fury, but it had to be.  He had recognized her.  Nonetheless she was still impressed that this dragon nodded in the affirmative to a human question.

“Now that you know my family history, what about yours?  I haven’t seen your mom around, but considering how much attention your dad has been giving my mom, is she still alive?  If  that’s too hard to talk about you don’t have to answer.” Astrid added cautiously.

“I don’t mind telling you at all.  It’s hard for me to miss someone I never really knew.  I only know what my Dad and his friends have told me.  I was about six months old when she disappeared in a dragon raid.  Apparently a never before seen four winged dragon carried her off.  My Dad tells me she was trying to save me from the “beast” when my Dad yelled to distract the dragon from me.  That just shocked it into grabbing my Mom and flying away with her.  No one knows if she’s still alive or dead.  For the longest time I just figured she was dead because there had been no sign of her anywhere.  Now thanks to Toothless I suppose that means she could be alive still somewhere.”

Astrid added a comment to that. “That would also fit your theory that Dragons don’t kill people unless it is accidental or self defense.”

“Again there’s no way to say for certain, so that being the case I am actually kind of happy that my Dad has found a friend in your mom.”

“My Mom has been lonely too, so that makes me happy as well.”  Affirmed Astrid with a heart melting smile for Hiccup.

Kneeling down next to his special black drake, Hiccup whispers extra quietly, or so he hopes, “Thank you for saving our girl.  I know I have only come to know her for a few days, but I will tell you this secret.  I love her.  I am even more certain now.”

Louder now for Astrid’s benefit Hiccup said, “Thank you Toothless for saving Astrid, and I guess she saved you too!  I know you are smart and though you may not have hands, I think you could make some signs.  Here is how you say “Thank you” in ASL.”  So Hiccup demonstrated and indeed it was a sign the Dragon could emulate.

So very happy to be able to communicate in some form of human language Toothless with a gummy grin turned to Astrid to tell her “Thank you” for so long ago.

Astrid then kissed and hugged Toothless who purred with pleasure.  Then she turned again to Hiccup, hugging and kissing him again.  “See.  I was right.  You are amazing!”  She signed.

“So are you!”  Hiccup signed and sighed in reply with a dopey blush.

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Sign of the Chapter - Reunion: Hold both 5 shape hands up around shoulder height, then as you flutter all the fingers of both hands, bring your hands down to come close together in front of your belly.

CHAPTER 19: THE JOURNEY

Hiccup was very afraid of what might be Astrid’s next reaction.  “You might not think I’m so “Amazing” after you find out how I met ‘Guardian’.”

“Call him Toothless.  I like that name better.” She expressed by using a combination of signs to make up the name for the black dragon Astrid showed Hiccup.  She pointed to a tooth in her mouth.  Then while holding her left flattened hand palm up and chest high she formed a bent flattened hand palm down near her mouth, then dropped it about a hand length for the word “less”.  

Hiccup shrugged his shoulders quirking his head in uncertainty.  “How about---” and he thought of a more appropriate two handed sign.  Covering his mouth with his right hand sideways he slid behind it his left hand with four fingers up simulating teeth, and then pulled them down as if to make the teeth disappear.

“I love it!” She cried out with her hands and eyes.  “Since you are the deaf person it’s actually more appropriate that you give him his name sign.”

Turning to his dragon Hiccup asked him, “So how do you like your new name sign?” and he demonstrated it one more time.

Toothless made a big toothy grin, retracted his teeth, nodded vigorously, pounced and slobbered all over Hiccup.

Shaking off dragon drool he signed and spoke more for the sake of Toothless, “Aawwhhg, Toothless!  That’s revolting!  Trust me, I didn’t need a bath.  Great.  Now I smell like dragon breath.”  Hiccup spotted Astrid giggling a little, and then she suddenly keeled over in hysterics.

“Astrid! It’s not that funny!” and he shook a little of the dragon slobber at her so she could share a little in “Eau de Dragon”.

Finally catching her breath Astrid explained in sign. “I wish you could hear just now.  Toothless laughed!  It sounded something like a really big bullfrog but faster.”

“Well I hate to spoil your good mood but you better learn how I met Toothless,” then dejectedly to himself, and then you can tell me how ‘amazing’ I really am.

Gobber had left Hiccup alone in the smithy to join the fight against the latest dragon raid.  Finally he had his chance to make his mark as a dragon conqueror.  Grabbing his bola cannon with the corrected calibration he headed for the highest catapult and elevated torch bowl.

“Come on, come on, give me something to shoot at.” Hiccup muttered to himself.  Just as he heard in the distance the screeching whine of the Night Fury he took aim towards the catapult. “Night Fury!” someone shouted. Hiccup had learned the tactics of this Night Fury.  It never missed, and it always attacked their offensive weapons first.  This time was no exception.

A bright blue ball glowed out from nowhere in the black of the night sky.  With an explosion the ball demolished the catapult but in that brief instant the explosion illuminated that despised dragon.  Hiccup swung his bola cannon right to compensate for the dragon’s movement and fired.  “Crud!”  he forgot to engage the anchor staves and the cannon knocked Hiccup backwards off his feet.  Despite this foul up, he heard the distressed screech of a Night Fury falling through the sky.

“I hit it!  Yes, I hit it!  I hit a Night Fury!  Did anyone else see that?” inquired Hiccup loudly, only to be answered by a Monstrous Nightmare all aflame from head to tail tip, crushing his bola cannon.  “Besides you?---AHHHHhhhhh!” Hiccup flew as fast as his scrawny legs could take him.

“The next day after about four hours of searching, I found him.  I was going to kill him, and take his heart to my father as proof, but I couldn’t kill him----” Hiccup trailed off there.

“Why not?  In a tribe as opposed to dragons as yours why couldn’t you kill a dragon?”  Astrid asked.

“I don’t know.  I never analysed my reasoning.  I wouldn’t kill a dragon!!”

Smiling Astrid now signed, “You said “wouldn’t” this time.”

Visibly upset Hiccup angrily signed “Okay, alright, I wouldn’t kill a dragon!” and then calming down, “I wouldn’t kill a dragon because he looked as terrified as I was.”

Comfortingly Astrid replied, “But you're the first to befriend one on Berk.”

Miserably he continued, “Well I still hurt him badly.  My bola cords had ripped away half of his tail fin, and he had lost his ability to fly.”

Looking puzzled Astrid queried him again, “What do you mean “had”?”

“That’s one of the reasons I brought you here.”  Hiccup took out of a well protected nook in the cove wall the saddle, the prosthetic fin, and control harness.  After putting them on his favourite dragon, here was the answer to her question.

“Hiccup this is---is---ah---ah---I have to think of another word---INCREDIBLE!”

Almost angrily Astrid scolded Hiccup. “Don’t you ever belittle yourself again in my presence.  This is sheer genius, and I have no doubt that this rigging of yours to help Toothless works.  Not the way you think and plan, and I’ll bet my life you have already tested it.”

Hiccup just grinned, nodded and signspoke.  “How would you like to ask your Master Esdra in person what you wrote in those letters?”

Shocked, Astrid slowly nodded.

“Let me ask Toothless first.  Hey bud, are you up to taking two of us on a medium long flight?”

Toothless sat on his haunches, made a raspberry face as if to say, “P-P-P-P-P--Oh please. Of course I am.” but just to be sure, he raised his left forepaw and to the best of his ability signed and nodded, “Yes”.

Both Hiccup and Astrid rushed him with hugs and kisses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silently a small vessel traveled North to Berk. Only one passenger was aboard. That passenger was no longer of the Earth in spirit, yet they seem to know exactly where they were going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Secured on the saddle by the safety straps Hiccup made, and added to by him to accommodate his passenger, they had a wonderful if somewhat boring flight to Bog Island.  Boring only because it wasn't exactly a short flight, and communication was not possible. Sometimes Hiccup would speak to Astrid but the wind of the flight didn't make it easy.

Pointing Hiccup showed Astrid they were approaching Big Boobied Bertha’s Island.  “We have to avoid the sentries. I doubt they would be very friendly to a dragon.  We'll find a hiding spot that Toothless and I can stay in, hopefully not far from the village, and then you can go speak to Esdra.”

So Hiccup had Toothless swoop low to nearly touching sea level.  Sentries would be searching the skies for dragons.  They found a cove perhaps one and a quarter hours away from the Scholars Institute.  Not as close as Astrid would have liked, but she was strong, fit, and knew the way well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Berk the South sentry of the main port docks sounded two short blasts on the watchtower horn.  This indicated a sighting of a small craft of no imminent threat.

“What do you make of it, Snotlout?” Spitelout asked of his son in training.

“What’s to make out?  It’s just a stupid row boat that someone left adrift.”

Spitelout was thinking internally, Yes wife, I named him well.  He surre is a big snot.  Giving his son a slap on the back of the head he sternly told his son, “If ye arre goin’ ta be Captain o’ the Guarrd or quite likely Chief one day, ye have ta use the brrain that Odin blessed ye with.  Now think this over.”

“Who says I’m going to be Chief?  Hiccup’s not dead.” Snotlout wondered aloud.

“No, but thanks ta Hiccup’s deafness ye arre now the prrimarry heirr o’ the Hooligan Trribe, and no one wants a numbskull forr a Chief.  Now what’s wrrong with this picture?” Commanded Spitelout.

Having put the question that way, Snotlout gave it some thought.  He looked at the banners of the dock and noticed the winds were blowing crosswise to the direction of the dinghy.  Scratching his head exclaimed, “That boat is not moving in the direction of the wind.”

Clapping his beefy but short son on the shoulders with pride, Spitelout announced. “By Thorr’s thunderrbolts, ye do have some brrains in that thick skull of yers afterr all!  Not only is it not movin’ with the wind, but also against the outbound tide.  What do you rrecommend we do?”

After some thought he hesitantly asked, “Tell Chief Stoick the Vast?”

“What is yer rreasonin’ for disturrbin’ oor verry busy Chief?” Spitelout again inquired of his son.

Cautiously Snotlout explained, “The boat itself is too small to pose as a danger to Berk, but the way it is moving against the natural forces tells us something suspicious is going on.  If that’s the case I say we check it out first, and only bring it to his attention if there is reason to.”

“Snotlout, Snotlout, oy, oy, oy!”  Cheered his father.  “Let’s do exactly that.”

Silently Spitelout admitted that Hiccup was by far the smarter heir, but at least it was looking like his son was not an utter dummy after all.

Spitelout spoke up, “We’ll go down ta the docks and rready a boat of oor own, but I want to watch and see how far in that dinghy will make it in.”

It turns out they hadn’t really needed to ready their own boat.  Whatever was propelling the little rowboat took it in close enough to the docks that they only needed to gaff it with a hook and then secure it in a berth.

What they found in this little craft was an imperfect cylinder of bluish green ice.  Enough of it had melted to make the surface wet and translucent.  Within the block of ice was a blurred figure of strange appearance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to good deer trails it only took about three quarters of a sundial hour to jog to the Institute.  Astrid gave herself five minutes to cool down and catch her breath.  Once she entered the structure she went to the lavatory to splash her face and make herself look more presentable.

Being the peak of the fishing and growing season, classes were not currently being held, but the Director was usually working year round.  Since the director and deaf professors had no signalling devices as created by Hiccup, they usually just left their doors open when available.  

Astrid was fortunate as Director Esdra was at her desk busy with her paperwork. The Institute was constructed with wooden floors.  As Astrid entered Esdra’s chamber she purposefully stomped a little harder so she could alert Esdra without frightening her.  Throwing items to get the attention of a deaf person was considered extremely rude, but knocking or stomping on a floor that could carry vibration was acceptable.

Esdra looked up to see who had entered her chamber.  She lit up with a wonderfully warm smile to see Astrid again.  “See!  I told you it was only fairwell!”  Smirked Astrid’s grandmotherly professor of Deaf Culture, and she stood up, walked around her desk to give Astrid a big hug.  “And how is my favourite pupil?” She inquired in ASL.  “What brings you back to Bog so early?  I thought you were to be gone for at least six months?”

“I really would like to stay longer Master Esdra but an unusual situation has arose on Berk and my time here is limited.”  So Astrid explained her situation with the Chief of Berk, Hiccup his son, and her mother.”

“I perceive another reason for you wanting to help the Hooligan Tribe.”

“What reason would that be Master?” Astrid asked puzzled.

“When you described the intelligence and creativity of this young man Hiccup, your eyes came alive and your cheeks flushed with pride in his achievements.  In only a short time you have come to care very deeply for him, haven’t you?” This very astute Director intuited.

Blushing Astrid simply signed “Yes” with a fist nod.

“Then here are my conditions for this arrangement.  Do not worry your pretty little nose over them either, for they will not be very demanding.  First, I would like this young man of yours to construct for the institute 20 of these signalling devices of his, for 20 silver marks each.  Preferably in time for the Autumn start of school but he can take as much time as he needs. Second, this Hiccup of yours is to come and install them himself for an additional 10 silver marks per unit, for I so dearly want to meet the young man who has stolen the heart of my precious Astrid.”

With eyes blurred by tears of joy, Astrid agreed on Hiccup’s behalf.  “I will, we will.  Oh gods, thank you Master Esdra.  I was so worried about offending the institute by taking on this task.”

With a final word of affirmation Esdra told Astrid, “Fear not on that score child.  I would have granted you the permission just for the asking.”

“Thank you again!” signed Astrid in great elation. “Oh, one more thing, you may receive three letters tomorrow by falcon mail in my writing asking for the same thing. My genius pupil/client had devised a faster means of transportation, so we were actually able to beat the falcons here.”

“Then he must be nearly a god to find you a way here faster than falcons!” Master Esdra said skeptically.  “Then when I receive these letters, shall I make them formal and send a reply of confirmation?”

“Yes, please Master Esdra.  Thank you once again.  I love you but I have to hurry now.”  She kissed and hugged her mentor quickly and flew out the door.

The next day when Bertha of the Bog Burglars hand delivered three scrolls sealed with the Crest of the Hooligan tribe, Esdra had to sit down hard or faint at the wonder of what had transpired.

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Sign of the Chapter - Professor/Teacher: Bring both hands up to your forehead as if you are going to grasp the bill of baseball hat with both hands, then extend both hands straight out about 6 inches (Teach), then make the sign for person by  bringing both vertical flattened hands up, parallel to each other in front of you with your elbows bent, then draw two parallel imaginary lines of about 12 inches or 30 cm from top to bottom. Teach + Person = Teacher or Professor.

CHAPTER 20: SWEET & BITTER

Hiccup was getting bored and hungry after about half an hour, so he decided to prepare some lunch for himself. While he was slicing up some fish with his newest belt knife, light gleaming from it began to entertain Toothless.  The silly antics of the black drake caught Hiccup’s attention out of the corner of his eye.

When Hiccup realised his blade was reflecting sunlight, he played with moving it around.  Well didn’t that Night Fury go chasing after it like a dog for a ball, or a kitten for string of wool.  This had so entertained Hiccup and Toothless, they eventually tired themselves out, found some cool shade to relax in and have a snack.  While Hiccup roasted his fish over a small campfire, several smaller Terrible Terrors, about the size of medium sized dogs, attempted to snitch fish from Toothless's own stash. When he snarled at one, the little lizard inhaled in preparation of scorching Toothless. Hiccup observed a little buildup of gas in the back of its throat, but before the little critter could spew its fire at Toothless, Toothless fired first with a tiny controlled shot.  The poor little Terror’s tummy inflated like a balloon then deflated with a smokey burp.  Stunned by this unanticipated counterattack, it staggered around.

“Huh. Not so fireproof on the inside, eh?” Hiccup chuckled at the little dragon. “Here you go little buddy.” Hiccup tossed him one of his uncooked fish.  The little fire lizard curled up beside him in thanks, and began to purr while Hiccup petted it.  Murmuring to himself Hiccup observed, “Everything we think we know about dragons is wrong.”

That's when Astrid ran into the cove screaming in ecstasy!  Since Hiccup couldn’t hear it was unfortunate this time that Toothless could.

Hiccup had been leaning against Toothless, when without warning he went rolling in the sandy beach of the cove.

The dragon had jumped up in alarm thinking someone was trying to hurt his favourite girl.  Oh for the love of dragons, why did female humans have to be so excitable. Toothless thought with a roll of his eyes.

Sputtering out a mouthful of sand Hiccup started lambasting Toothless.  “Oh you useless reptile!  What was that for?” Then he spotted Astrid bouncing around,  like---like---a hyperactive five year old.

Remembering to sign, Hiccup stated the obvious, “I take it you received good news?”

Continuing to jump up and down in sheer excitement Astrid answered, “YES! YES! YES!” Then in an instant she changed moods faster than a Changewing could change it’s camouflage.

Sternly now, “But Master Esdra has some serious and demanding conditions for you.”

Hiccup gulped not knowing what to expect of these conditions.  “And they are?”

So Astrid restated Master Esdra’s terms, and Hiccup stood in awe and shock that someone actually wanted to pay him for his invention.  

Astrid followed this up with the best news yet.  “She also offered you an additional 10 silver marks per unit if you come to install them yourself----,” and she paused here for emphasis. “in order so she could meet the young man who has stolen my heart.”  With that, Astrid kissed Hiccup smack dab on the lips.

He fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The return flight had Hiccup flying in more ways than one.  He still thought he was dreaming that his angelic blond passenger nearly told him she loved him.

Because the day was into its last quarter, Hiccup had asked Toothless to fly as fast and as long as he could tolerate.  They needed to get back to Berk before dark, although perhaps it wouldn’t be as much of a concern now that he had Astrid to escort him.

While she was cuddling against Hiccup’s back, her arms around his waist, Astrid unexpectedly tapped Hiccup on the shoulder and signed to him, “Something is wrong!”

Concerned Hiccup asked, “What’s going on?”

“I hear a weird trilling song like noise.” Astrid explained.

Abruptly Toothless veered left than right to avoid dragons in a quickly over crowded sky.  All the dragons had some form of livestock in their talons, or stolen nets of fish.

“That’s weird. They’re not eating their kill.  Just carrying it.” Hiccup observed.

Astrid got Hiccup to twist around enough to read her.  “What’s that make us?” she worried.

In the distance they could see a volcanic island that they, and all the dragons escorting them were headed to.

“Toothless!  Get us out of here bud!” commanded Hiccup.

Toothless shook his head in the negative.  He wished he could do more to convey the importance of this excursion.  The Dragon Queen was calling her minions to bring her their prey.

Hiccup attempted to force a turn away from the Island with the control pedal, but Toothless was able to neutralize his attempts by flattening out his opposing tail fin, or flicking it up to match an attempt in another direction.

Toothless then growled and looked over his shoulder, more for Astrid’s benefit. Then with another growl he firmly pointed his head to the Island.

Tapping Hiccup again, Astrid told him, “I think he needs to show us something.”

Hiccup nodded and they remained quiet for this next passage of their journey.

As they neared the cone of the volcano, they could see it was honeycombed with caves and openings that the other dragons were flowing into. They, themselves on Toothless, followed the tails of several other dragons, when Toothless veered left sharply to hide behind a natural stone support pillar.  They were within the cone of the volcano, noxious with the smell of sulphur.  The orange glow allowed the teens to see what the dragons were doing.  The dragons were basically flying over the central magma shaft and dropping their “offerings” into the pit.

“Nice to know all our food is getting dropped down a hole.” Hiccup whined sarcastically.

The last dragon to bring in its delivery was a rather lazy Gronckle.  For its offering it regurgitated a rather small flounder, then scratched behind its ear while hovering over the pit.

It was a good thing that terror had closed up the throat of Hiccup and Astrid, when she heard the rumbling, growling roar of something that had to be huge.

Not huge; massive.  The head, just the head of a creature so large, it rivalled the head of the beast that tried to attack the Sea Dragon.  Actually the head appeared larger being constructed of heavy titanic bones.  It leaped up out of the pit and swallowed the Gronckle whole as if swallowing a pill of Gothi’s medications.

It sank back down, but Hiccup had an awful omen and he told Toothless, “Get us out of here bud!”

That massive head reappeared, attempting to eat the trio, but Toothless was too swift, and they flew straight up joining a vortex of leathery dragon wings.  This volcano had never before produced such an eruption.

Excitedly, Astrid had to convey to Hiccup her theory, “It all makes sense now.  That volcano is like a beehive, and that ‘Thing’ must be their queen.  They have to bring her food or be eaten themselves.”

They landed safely back in the cove.

“Hiccup, we have to tell your father, so he can launch his armada to attack that island and destroy that beast.”

“No!” He signed sternly.

In her anxiety Astrid had started vocalizing without realizing it.  “But why?  So you can protect your pet dragon?” Instantly she regretted her comment, and knelt down before Toothless.  “Oh, by Odin, Toothless I am so sorry. Please forgive me.” After which she began to shed tears of guilt and shame.

Toothless was fortunately not offended and this very understanding Night Fury came and nudged Astrid gently, and wrapped his loving and forgiving wings around her.

She sobbed out and signed to this wonderful black drake, “Thank you.”

Toothless licked her hand and nodded his head in understanding.

Hiccup held out his hand to help her up with a firm grip and a strong arm. “Please forgive me Hiccup.  I didn’t mean for that to come out so badly.”

“Forgiven as soon as you asked it of Toothless. Now to answer your question.  No, I can’t tell my father.  First of all the Berkian Armada would be no match for that thing, and secondly I would be afraid that my Dad would want to kill Toothless. My Dad has remained bitter towards the dragons for taking my mother away, and their continuous raiding of our livestock just keeps his bitterness strong.”

“We can’t just do nothing?”

Hiccup replied, “I realise that, but I need time to think.  You may think I’m a genius, but I don’t.  Like anyone else, I need to think things through.”

“I understand.  We’d better get back.  It’s late and I can just see the rumours flying with us being gone so long.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Within the stone walls of the Great Hall a deaf woman did her best to console a broken hearted man. Many others also shared his grief and pain.

As Astrid and Hiccup walked back into the village, they noticed no one about, but the torches were lit at the Great hall, so they proceeded to that destination.

As Astrid opened the door, the solemnity of the hall almost forced her back out.  She conveyed to Hiccup, “Something must have happened while we were gone.  Oh my gods, your dad is crying!”

Hiccup rushed in to see his dad next to a body.  “Oh gods, oh gods---”  He rushed to his father.  “Dad!  What’s wrong?”  Then looking at the dead woman with ethereal beauty next to his father, “Who is she?” Hiccup asks.

Wrapping his arms around his tiny son and resting his chin on Hiccup's head, Stoick weeps out “This is ma lost Valka! This is yer mother.”

Hiccup gasped.  He was never able to imagine what might happen if he ever again met his mother. He honestly never pictured himself grieving over the loss of someone he never knew.  He however grieved now. Harder than he thought possible, because now he would never get to know her on this side of Valhalla.

Father and son wept together.  Mother and daughter wept for their new dear friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death is a part of life, and life goes on, even for those who are grieving.  Father and son, Mother and daughter, close family and friends dip their rag tipped, oil soaked arrows into a fire bowl.

A prayer is made for the safe escort of the soul of Valka Ingrid Haddock to the halls of Valhalla.

twelve arrows soar, and every one of them hits their mark to set free the soul of one who is dearly loved.

______________________________________________________________

Sign of the Chapter - Sorrow: This looks like ringing out a cloth, but done with a neutral to very sad face, as if your guts were tearing you up inside. “Sad” could also be used starting with both 5 handshapes near your face.  As you drop them down to chin level, frown.

CHAPTER 21: COPING

Gobber had declared a week off from Dragon Training. He needed the time to grieve, and he figured so would Hiccup.

Thanks to Énjal and Astrid's comforting help, life in the Haddock household carried on.  Stoick had been hit hard by Valka’s death because he had loved Valka very dearly despite their having had an arranged marriage, as did most Viking nobility.  Not all such marriages resulted in close bonding, perhaps less than half.

The two ladies had not moved in, but they spent a good three days doing what they could to attend the needs of father and son.  Since Hiccup had never really known his mother, he returned to a more normal state faster than his father.

Hiccup felt comfortable enough to leave the lodge knowing that Énjal was there for his dad.

After Hiccup and Astrid tended the breakfast dishes, he took her by the hand and lead her outdoors.  Once outside he released her hand because he didn’t want to come off as being presumptuous.  Astrid was a little dismayed when Hiccup released her hand, but then again he began to ask her something.

Signing to the best of his ability Hiccup stated, “I think my dad is in good hands with your mom.  Would you like to give me a hand in the forge?”  Since sign language lessons weren’t going to happen now for at least a few more days, Astrid decided to carry on as she had at the beginning.  Hiccup would speak when he didn’t know enough ASL, and then Astrid would interpret what he said for his own sake.  In this way Hiccup could continue to learn on the fly.

“I’d love to help you.  What did you have in mind?”  Astrid happily volunteered.

“Well, I needed to get out of that lodge.  I’m really not going to be any help to my dad.  I didn’t know my mother.  I am sad about not being able to get to know her now, but life still goes on.  I wanted to get to started on Esdra’s order for the door signallers she asked for.”

“Yeah, sure.“ Astrid said in answer. “It will give us something to do as well.  I actually liked helping you out with the ones you made for mom since it was different from my usual fair.  I don’t mean interpreting.  Working for you is actually my first contract, so there is no way this has become boring yet.”

Hiccup came back with, “You might find this boring after a while.  First all I am going to do is make 20 sets of components, after that we can assemble them.  Now I didn’t get to discuss anything with Esdra in terms of what she needs these signallers for.  Does she want them for people’s homes, or for the Scholar’s Institute?”

“Oh.  It never occurred to me to ask for clarification.  I’d say make ten single units for now, assuming they will be for the use of deaf professors in their office chambers.  As they will be for interior doors only, they wouldn’t need the reflector fins.”

“So you do have a bit of an engineer's mind in that pretty blond head of yours.”  That earned Hiccup a one armed charlie horse. “I didn’t say dumb blond!” He whimpered, so Astrid gave him an apologetic kiss. “Oh man, that is thee best pain reliever.” Hiccup sighed with a goofy smile.

“Well don’t expect a kiss everytime I sock you.  You won’t learn unless you deserve one.”  Astrid simpered back with a wink.  She was actually grateful that Hiccup was coming out of his funk a little.

When they walked into the forge they met a rather disgruntled Gobber.

Astrid had given him permission to speak to hearing people since obviously most of them wouldn’t know ASL.  As he was still new to speaking with his hands he had yet to learn fingerspelling as well.  She had told him during her little lessons in his house that when he encountered another deaf person, such as her mom or Esdra in the future, he had to keep his lips buttoned and really work at signing or using charades or actions to convey his messages.  The more he resorted to sign language, the faster he would learn.

“Good morning Gobber.  Are you alright?” Hiccup asked of the blacksmith.

“Not rreally. How's yer dad doing?” Gobber replied, Astrid interpreting.

“I would say about the same as you then.”

“I would say yer underrstandin’ o’ sign language has grreatly imprroved, if yer interprreter herre is actually worrkin’ for ya.”

“I still have a long ways to go Gobber, but Astrid is good at teaching me. You might see her interpret twice only so that I can learn what I don't know yet.  She interprets what you say, and then she interprets what I say.  Since I can still speak, I don't need an interpreter to speak TO hearing people, only to learn what they say to me.”

“Well boyo, unforrtunately I have even morre disturrbin’ news for ye.  I'm not surre yet I can trrust a sixteen yearr old girrl with such sensitive news.”

“Gobber, I trust her, and not only with my secrets, but my life.”

Astrid had to swallow a lump over this revelation.  Clearing her throat Astrid spoke up.  “Please excuse my Interruption Master Gobber---”

Gobber at once interrupted Astrid, “What’s this Master business?  I’m not a slave owner norr do I wanna be.  That is just so wrrong, let alone havin’ the son o’ the Chief as mah slave?  Arre ye daft girrl?”

Both Astrid and Hiccup chuckled a little at this which just infuriated Gobber more.

“Honestly Gobber, that’s not what I meant.  Perhaps you don’t use the formal titles here on Berk.  At least on Bog Island in the Scholar’s Institute, they use a teaching system for various trades.  Beginners are called Apprentices, skilled trade workers are Journeymen, and the top of their fields are referred to as Masters.  In this case Hiccup has referred to himself as your apprentice, and since I don’t see a third person here that would make you Master of this smithy.”

“Oh--uhum--I’m sorry lass for blowin’ up at ye.  I dinnae have such a high education level.  In case ye couldnae tell, I’m also a little testy.”

Astrid continued, “If it helps to ease your concern, as part of my trade, I’ve had to take an oath of confidentiality---”

“Of what?”  Gobber again interrupted confused by such a big word.

“Secrecy.  Sorry about that Gobber.  I got used to using big words, because of what I needed to learn as part of my education.  This oath is so binding -- I mean serious that if ever I revealed something of what one of my clients said I would be banned from my trade.” explained Astrid.

Feeling somewhat more assured Gobber continued with his sensitive news.  “Yer motherr wasn’t only sent ta us as ye saw her, she had been murderred.”

Tears again filling his eyes Hiccup cried out, “What?  How do you know this?”

Gobber didn’t answer him as he was choking up again himself; he just handed Hiccup the letter that had been found on Valka’s person.

Attention Stoick the Vast Chief to the Hooligan Tribe of Berk:

Happy Anniversary!  At least I hope it is.  Here is my gift to you.

This is what happens to those who defy me.

You were lucky once,  you won’t be lucky again.

When I am ready, I will come for you, and all of your tribe.  Following the fall of Berk so will the rest of the Archipelago fall. No amount of preparation, or alliances formed will be able to save you.

Sincerely yours,

Drago Bludvist

Dragon Master

“Who is this Drago Bludvist?” Demanded Hiccup.

“Can I answer him Gobber?  Stoick told us about him on my journey here.”

“Yes lass, go ahead.” Gobber answered with great difficulty and relief.

So Astrid recapped to Hiccup the tale of her little adventure to the Island of Berk.

“Those sea dragons actually saved you?  That’s incredible.” Gasped Hiccup almost not concerned with the ravings of a madman who called himself a dragon master.  Hiccup meant that in the negative context as well.

“Now ye know how dangerrous this madman can be.  Yer dad willnae take this lyin’ down.  That monsterr needs ta be stopped at any cost.” Gobber nearly sobbed out.

Astrid nodded, then Gobber asked, “What brrings ye ta the forrge this morrnin’ Jourrneyman Hiccup?”

Astrid looked to Hiccup with a big grin on her face and did her job, mind you she had to write down “Journeyman” for Hiccup to understand.  It will be so much better when he can learn his fingerspelling. Thought  Astrid.  She would have to ask her mother to make that one of the first lessons since she was certain Hiccup would not be her mother’s only pupil.

“Why did you call me Journeyman Hiccup, Master Gobber?”  Hiccup said with a crooked grin.

To herself Astrid had to tell herself I’m a professional, I’m a professional, I’m a professional----Gods I love that quirky smile of his?  Oh no, did I just sign that?!  Apparently not as no one had reacted, meaning Hiccup since Gobber had not learned any ASL as of yet.

In response Gobber said, “Well until I learrned from Astrrid here aboot the thrree levels o’ trradesmanship, I just called ye mah apprrentice.  Well, afterr seein’ those two doorrbell systems of yers with flashin’ stuff on’em, I think I can safely assume yer skills arre way above the level of an apprrentice.”

“Thank you Gobber.  That means a lot to me.” Hiccup said with sincerity, then turning to Astrid, “Well apprentice Astrid, are you ready to get to work?”

Laughing Astrid had to sign-speak “When you are chief.” And she gave a mock salute.

That caught Gobber off guard.  “What?! What’s this apprrenticeship business?  Isn’t it mah job ta find yer replacement?”  Snickered Gobber.

“Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you, I received an order for twenty units of my doorbell systems, and Astrid agreed to help me since she helped me with the unit I installed for her mother.” Hiccup explained.

“So that’s why Énjal was slobberin’ all overr ye the otherr day in the Grreat Hall.”  Said Gobber with a wide eyed look of revelation.  “But why twenty units? I can see Gothi maybe needin’ one with herr hearin’ fadin’.”  Gothi’s hearing was not in decline, but a lot of people assumed so since she was so old, frail looking and mute.

In an attempt to evade a complete answer Hiccup told him, “I guess a lot of people like the bell itself, and the spinning things that go along with them.”

Gobber could actually see that some people would find they had a bit of an entertainment value to them. “So wherre do ya think ye arre goin’ ta get all yer raw materrial frrom ta make ‘em with, jourrneyman?”

“Well Gobber, if you are willing to give me a little credit, I will pay for what I can and pay the balance when I’m paid.  I’ve basically made them out of tin, so I really don’t need a lot of material.  I could clean up a lot of your unused scrap metal for you that way.”

“Ah, Hiccup I was just kiddin’.  Yoo’ve put in a few good winters forr me.  Considerr it mah investment in this little invention o’ yers.”  Was Gobber’s happy response.

Nearly joyful despite recent events Hiccup said and signed, “Thank you Gobber.“

As it turned out there was enough scrap metal to create the ten units Astrid suggested to start off with, and quite likely enough for the remaining ten.

The next day all three falcons finally returned.  It was assumed they'd run into foul weather that had delayed their return, since all three triplicate scrolls still had their seals intact.  Gobber received them from Spitelout, as Stoick had left instructions for Gobber to deal with any inbound correspondence while he sequestered himself.  Gobber happily relayed messages to Énjal, Astrid and Hiccup about the good news regarding the soon to start ASL classes.  The second part of the letters completely baffled Gobber.  A request for twenty of Hiccup's door flashers, ordered by the Scholars Institute of Bog, for twenty silver marks each, plus an additional ten silver marks installed.  Was his apprentice, no journeyman, now able to foresee the future?

There really wasn't a lot for Astrid to do during the forging and shaping process. That was Hiccup's domain with Astrid knowing nothing about the forging process.  It was a good thing Hiccup was deaf because the noise he made would have seriously endangered his hearing.  It bothered Astrid enough she had to excuse herself.  This however got her thinking and she decided to try cooking up a project of her own.

“Since you're going out, Astrid,” and he scribbled down a couple of notes quickly, “can you please drop these off to the potterers and weaver?” They were requests for twenty pots for his lanterns, as well as forty wicks.

“No problem boss.” she signed with a wink.

After she delivered Hiccup's messages, Astrid went to the baker, Bjorn, and discussed her idea with him. His was perhaps the only normal sounding name on Berk, she mused.

“Now that is an interrestin’ idea. Ta bake somethin’ not ta be eaten.  Let's give it a swirrl.” Astrid grimaced at the pun with an “ooh” sound making Bjorn chuckle.

This little creation of Astrid's wouldn't benefit Hiccup but certainly anyone else who worked in a noisy environment.

She was not a baker but she figured the baker would know how to introduce air bubbles into the tree sap she wanted to use to make plug-ups for the ears.  Hiccup would probably take three to four days just creating his components.  

So Astrid went to tap a few cedar trees to extract their gummy sap.  This sap would not attract insects. Not the same pine sap used by Hiccup to make his mistake correctors, he ones he used on the back end of his charcoal sticks. Because it was such a thicker sap than Maple sap, it took at least 24 hours for Astrid to collect enough to work with.

Once she collected about four mugs of sap she took it to the baker.  Bjorn explained to Astrid that he would try a process similar to baking sourdough bread.  This sourdough produced bubbles that made bread flour rise.  

“Sounds like the right idea.” Astrid approved.  They tried four different processes before Astrid was happy with the consistency she was hoping for.  She was going to be her own test subject.

Because they had baked her project like rolled up clay snakes, she then sliced them in lengths of two fingers wide.  She took two of them, squeezed and rolled them between her fingers, and carefully inserted them in her ear canals.  Her own body heat allowed them to expand again, and as they did, the world around her grew quieter.  Not dead silent, but much much quieter.  Astrid gave Bjorn two thumbs up with the sign for “Thank you”.  Bjorn copied her and she told him what it meant.  She left Bjorn happily practicing his one sign of ASL.

She came back to the forge on the third afternoon to see Hiccup happily pounding away, and even singing a little.  He wasn't bad considering he was deaf, but then he was going by memory.  She re-inserted her new ear blockers to see how she could tolerate Hiccups noisy banging.  A bonafide success.  She kept several pairs for herself, and gave the rest to Gobber, explaining what they were for and how to use them. When he needed more all he needed to do was collect more cedar sap and baker Bjorn had the recipe to make them.

Since Astrid wasn't around to distract him when he was working in the smithy, he was nearly finished making the components of all twenty door winkers.  He decided to finally call them winkers as that is what it appeared to make the lanterns do.  Once he had made a few units worth of components, he got into a rhythm that allowed him to work faster.

Hiccup modified his design a little with removable fins.  That way if it turned out that Esdra needed them to work outdoors he could just add the fins to them.

Seeing the multiple parts Astrid signed to him in surprise. “Wow! You've been a busy buddy.  I thought you were only going to make ten flashers to start with?”

“I was on a roll so I figured just to get them out of the way.” Hiccup remembered to sign back.  “And I thought Esdra would appreciate prompt delivery of her order.  I also made them as convertible units, so that way they can be used inside or out.”

Proudly Astrid told him. “You just keep getting smarter and smarter.” She said with a wink and a kiss on the cheek.

“Be careful milady or I might get a fat head.”

“That's easily fixed.  Then I'll just call you Snotlout.” Astrid quipped back.

“Gods forbid!” Hiccup laughed out loud. “If ever I do I give you permission to deflate my ego.”

Astrid laughed at that.  “I really doubt that will ever become necessary.”

“There!” and Hiccup dipped a winker canister in the cooling bucket. “That was the last of the metal components. Tomorrow I'll blow the glass shades for the lanterns.”

“You blow your own glass as well?” Astrid asked impressed.

In explanation Hiccup told her. “We’re not a huge population here, so we tend to be jacks of all trades where equipment allows. This being a forge we tend to do most heat related work here.”

“Never mind deflating your ego. If you have one then you earned it.” Astrid meant every word.

Blushing Hiccup just thanked her for the compliment.  “Care for some lunch? My treat.”

Astrid laughed since a communal kitchen in the Great Hall provided food to any who wanted a quick and easy meal.  As communal meals went, lunch was the big one. The individual families still preferred to have breakfast and supper together.

When they entered the Great Hall together, Hiccup was relieved to see his dad had rejoined the land of the living, in the company of Énjal.  Mind you he still had a disturbing expression on his face that bothered Hiccup.

After seeing his son enter the Great Hall, Stoick waved him over along with Astrid.  Standing, Stoick cleared his throat and pounded an empty stein on the table.  “I would like ta thank ye all forr yer supporrt, and yer respect forr mah prrivacy overr the past severral days.”

Astrid dutifully started translating suddenly aware she had become a bit of a spectacle.  This didn't bother her as she was trained in many different environments.  However as Berk only had a deaf population of two as far as she knew, many more people were obviously distracted by this unusual form of communication.

Here and now she was still interpreting more for her mom than Hiccup, but at least now he might understand a little of what she was converting to ASL.  “I would like ta give extrra thanks to mah new frriend Énjal Hofferrson forr her perrsonal supporrt in mah time of grrief.  As most of ye arre awarre by now Hiccup has lost his hearin’.  Énjal's daughter, Astrid, is an interprreter of Archipelago Sign Language.  Hiccup still needs to learrn this new language and we rreceived verry good news this morrnin’.  The Scholarrs’ Institute of Bog Island has grranted perrmission to Énjal and Astrrid to teach ASL to any who wish to learrn it.  Drragon trrainin’ will start again tomorrow mornin’. Despite this unforrtunate interruption it will be the final day for this batch of recrruits. The winner will be chosen tomorrow morrnin’ by Gothi to deterrmine who will be chosen for their firrst drragon kill.”

Astrid gave Hiccup a quick nervous glance, but he seemed surprisingly calm despite this news, unless he hadn't understood everything.  She would make certain afterwards.

“Afterr which ASL lessons will occur everry otherr day forr those who wish to take them.  Thrree days frrom now the winnin’ candidate will demonstrrate his or her winnin’ forrm by killin’ a Monstrrous Nightmare beforre the entire village.  If the winner is successful and uninjurred then they will join Berrk’s attack on the drragons at Helheim's Gate.” This had both Énjal and Astrid looking perplexed and disturbed.  Astrid's mom had not been told yet that their long lost Guardian had been found, and she had come to love and respect that black dragon as much as Astrid had.  Énjal had come to share Astrid's belief that dragons were actually good, smart, and gifts of The Heavenly Powers.  

Even Gobber looked at Stoick questioningly.  “Thank ye for yer attention.” Stoick resumed his breakfast and became lost in disturbing thoughts.

Astrid waved to Hiccup to join her at a more private setting.  “How much of that announcement of your dad's did you understand?”

“Not a lot unfortunately. I think I caught something about the winner of Dragon Training will be chosen tomorrow, and  your mom and you beginning classes.” Hiccup answered her.

“Where's your slate?  Astrid asked. Because it had to be bigger than a notebook and a little clumsier he had resorted to using a satchel slung over his shoulder and chest to carry it in. Using it, Astrid filled in for Hiccup a lot of missing detail.

Hiccup mouthed an obscenity because he had only learned the one bad word in sign language so far.  The one he and Gobber adopted as Snotlout's name sign. “He's tried to find that nest in the past and it's always been a disaster. The only way, we, found it is because we were on Toothless.  That's probably the only way we would find it again.  Like I said before, our Armada would be no match for the beast we saw.  That's probably what defeated our ships and warriors in the past.”  

Frustrated by his as of yet limited "signabulary" Hiccup told Astrid, “Never mind what I said about not wanting to win this competition, I changed my mind.”

“I know we haven't gotten to know each other all that long, but Hiccup, you would never kill a dragon.”  Astrid said shocked and dismayed. Neither teen realised that Énjal was following their conversation. This last statement from her daughter greatly interested her.

“That's not my intention Astrid.  I want to win so I can turn the kill ring into a demonstration. A demonstration on how to train a dragon.  If I can train a Night Fury I know I can train a Monstrous Nightmare.”

At the sign Hiccup had made up for “Night Fury” Énjal politely excused herself from Stoick's company and kissed his cheek.  She then moved well away from the head table to join Astrid and Hiccup.

As Énjal had quietly approached from behind Astrid, she was startled to see Hiccup look up at someone behind her.

“This is the correct sign for ‘Night Fury’.” Énjal demonstrated by first using the sign for “Night” by holding her right arm horizontally flat, and then dropping her left flattened hand down over it with her fingers bent down about ninety degrees, simulating the setting of the sun, then changing to claw shaped hands which she firmly raised to her shoulders, palms in, shaking them slightly at her shoulders, as if angry with a stern face.

Hiccup understood her just fine, and at first his face showed great anxiety.  He really hadn't wanted anyone else to know about Toothless other than he and Astrid. However he then remembered Astrid's story and how her mom had also ended up thanking the black dragon.

“What's this about a Night Fury?” Énjal asked.

Turning to Astrid Hiccup asked her to tell her mom about Toothless, as she would be faster.

Énjal would have nothing to do with that.  “Consider this your first official lesson.  I see you have already learned a good amount from my daughter.  I am patient.  If you struggle you may ask Astrid for help but to me she will not interpret for you. Understood?”

With a chagrined look on his face he signed, “Yes”. Then just to make certain he signed as well, “I understand.”

Surprisingly Énjal declared, “Good. I'm listening now.” That statement threw Hiccup for a loop as Énjal was deaf.  Curiously he looked at Astrid, confusion playing on his face.

Astrid laughed and explained, “When I was little my mom used to tell me ‘One hears with their ears but listens with their minds and hearts’.”

With a nod Hiccup proceeded to regale Énjal with his story about Toothless.”

“So you took his tail, and he took your hearing?” Énjal asked with a sardonic smile.

With a simper Hiccup shrugged his shoulders and signed back to Énjal.  “I guess we're even now.”

“Like Astrid, I love your new name for Guardian. I never would have known he has retractable teeth.” Énjal commented with a big smile, and had to practice the new name name sign for Toothless several times.  “Speaking of names, did Astrid give you a name sign yet?”

Hiccup made the sign he had remembered Astrid using for his name.  Énjal giggled at this and explained to him that was simply the word “hiccup” and not his name. “Did Astrid explain that it is usually a deaf person who is to name you?”

He excitedly signed, “Yes! When I showed her my name for Toothless, she said it was actually more appropriate that I came up with his name.”

“I have a more dignified name for you, if I may?” Énjal asked.

“Yes, please.” Was Hiccup's happy response.

“Just as in Norse there is an alphabet In ASL.  This is the letter 'H’.” Énjal demonstrated by holding her left middle and index fingers closed together, horizontally, knuckles facing out in front of her chest.  Hiccup copied the hand and finger shape.

Now for Hiccup's new name she brought both hands to the corners of her mouth in ”H” shapes, then pointing all her fingers out she fluttered them as she pushed her hands out slowly forward.

“That must be the sign for ‘Dragon’? Hiccup asked. “So my name is ‘H Dragon’?” Astrid snickered at this and told her mom what he had said vocally.

Énjal slapped his hand playfully for his slip up. “Not at all you silly boy! You don't say it, you just sign it. When introducing yourself, you first give your name sign, then you fingerspell it so people actually know what your name-sign will mean.  Since you are the resident Dragon Master I felt this to be a more dignified name for you.”

Hiccup stood up, walked around the table, and gave Énjal a warm embrace.  “Thank you for transforming my name to something so majestic.  One little problem with what you said. I'm not a dragon master. If Berk thought I loved dragons as my mother had, they would probably exile me.  It's a good thing only four of us know ASL. Well mostly you two.”

“That will be rectified shortly.  I know Stoick mentioned starting classes after tomorrow's dragon training, but we can hold a first class right now.  Let me go talk to Stoick.  By the way, Hiccup, your father is a wonderful man.” Confessed Énjal.

“He is.  I just wish I could get him to overcome his hatred of dragons.”

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Sign of the Chapter - Cope: Hold both hands flat, fingers closed, thumbs out.  Hold your dominant hand palm down near your shoulder. Hold your opposite hand near your ribs, palm up. Swoop them together so they nearly touch out in front of your chest.  Cope.

CHAPTER 22: SIGNING 101

Énjal approached Stoick and doing like Astrid she used a combination of slate and signing to speak to him.  In only a few minutes she waved for Astrid and Hiccup to come over.  “Your dad is perfectly fine with me holding a class now for all who are interested, but he's not interested in announcing it.  Would you make an announcement please, Astrid?”

“Excuse me please everyone!” Astrid called out, but even at her loudest she didn't have the ability to project over the noisy babble in the Great Hall.

“Here Astrid, let me give it a shot.  My dad always used to say that for such a little guy he couldn't believe how big a mouth I had.” So Hiccup bellowed out with a volume that could give his dad competition.  “GOOD AFTERNOON MY FELLOW BERKIANS!! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!”. That indeed got the attention of all the occupants, so in a more normal but still strong voice Hiccup continued. “As there is no dragon training today Énjal Hofferson would like to offer her first class of Archipelago Sign Language in half an hour's time. Those of you who have free time or would like to make time are welcome to join us.”

Astrid was impressed and told Hiccup, “If you can't make it as a blacksmith you can always hire yourself out as a town crier.”

Hiccup was a little confused.  “I will be so happy to learn fingerspelling, because I didn't catch that last part of your phrase.”

So Astrid wrote it out for him, and he had a good chuckle at that.  “Didn't I say I had a big mouth?”

A surprising number of people gathered around, at least to check out the new novelty.  Hiccup was actually surprised to see Ruffnut and Snotlout sitting down for the class as well.  Although Snotlout was probably looking for an excuse not to do anything.  Fishlegs was not a surprise since he wanted to learn to communicate with his best friend.  A number of fishermen sat down since the best time for fishing was past, and a number of farmers.  Mildew wasn't interested and walked out with Fungus his sheep, followed shortly by Tuffnut who wore a devious expression.  Hiccup really hoped he wasn't going to aggravate the old coot.  Gothi also attended hoping to learn a more efficient way of communicating rather than writing with her staff in the dirt.

When it appeared that all who were interested in learning this new language, or to at least satisfy some curiosity, were seated nearby Énjal stood up to start her lesson.  She began by having Astrid interpret only her self introduction to all in Attendance.  “Now that you know who I am, I will let you know that from here on out, Astrid will not interpret for me.  We will learn together, and yes I mean we.  Just because I will be teaching these lessons doesn't mean I stop learning.  Sometimes I even have to ask Astrid for help since she's had a more formal education in ASL.  Thank you, Astrid.  I will take over from here.”

So Énjal began by showing the group five basic concepts that ASL utilises. She demonstrated by first holding up her index finger to  indicate one; and demonstrated several handshapes. Then her first two fingers; movement again demonstrating several. Now her index, middle finger and thumb for three; here she changed the direction of the palm of her hand several times. Next she held up all four fingers for location of the signs. And she finished up holding up all five digits to indicate facial expressions.

*This was followed by her demonstrating three different styles of hand signs. One handed, two handed symmetrical signs, and two handed signs where the dominant hand moves while the oppositer hand is stationary.

After giving her students a little time to absorb this, she then went on to show her pupils the seven basic hand shapes.

*Open hand: Your hand is flat and your fingers are spread apart (5 hand).

Flat hand: Your hand is flat and your fingers and thumb are touching.

Curved hand: Your hand is curved and your fingers and thumb are touching.

Bent hand: Your hand is bent at the knuckles and your fingers and thumb are touching and held straight.

Clawed hand: Your hand is curved and your fingers are separated.

“And” hand: Your hand is formed so that all of your fingertips are touching to a mutual point.

One hand: Your index finger is up with your palm facing forward *

Astrid got a brilliant idea and she would ask her mom about it.  Even in her classes they had no visual examples on parchment.  They had a lot of written material, but a teacher would usually demonstrate what was written and the pupils would learn it by rote.

With Hiccup’s fantastic art skills she was going to ask him if he could draw a lot of what her mother was going on about.

Énjal had her students mimic her examples so they would better remember the content of the lessons. Following this she demonstrated the letters of the alphabet one at a time so they could copy her.  This is what Hiccup had been waiting for.  He was a quick study but he knew he would still have to work on memorizing all these letter signs.

She ended her class by giving them a few simple phrases and words to give them a feeling they learned something they could actually use.  Such as: Good morning, good afternoon, good night, I love you, please, thank you , hello, yes, no, how are you, nice to meet you, I am fine.

The class was surprised the sign for “hello” was something they already knew.  Just a common wave of the hand.

“Well class, that seems like we had a good start.  Thank you for spending your afternoon with me.” And she signed “Thank you” about four five times changing directions to thank her whole class.

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A/N: *Information used from www.startasl.com/basic-sign-language

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Sign of the Chapter - Lesson: Both hands start with the flat shape, closed fingers, and thumbs out.  Bend the fingers of your dominant hand and hold up your opposite hand to represent a sheet of paper. Turn the “Paper” hand about 45 degrees to your guest, then tap the baby finger edge of your dominant hand to first the fingertips and then the palm of the “Paper” hand, as if proceeding through a lesson plan. Lesson.

CHAPTER 23:  FINAL EXAM

Gobber introduced a new dragon. For the trainees that is.  They all had seen this one before, but had not a chance to study and train with it. “And here I prresent you with the Terrible Terror.” He surprised the group of six teens by bending down to open and release a small door barely large enough for a smallish dog.

“Oh man! He's cute.  Can I keep him as a pet?” Tuffnut quickly regretted those words when the little bugger took off like lightning to have a chewing fest with his nose.

Ruffnut accidentally saved her brother with a laughing fit that distracted the pipsqueak dragon.  It jumped on her back while she was bent over in mirth only to bite her scrawny fanny.

Gothi was watching these antics from the spectator seats shaking her head in dismay.

Snotlout had brought his favourite weapon, his childhood bludgeon.  He thought he could use the Terrible Terror like a pelting stone.  The little dragon was just too quick for Snotlout, and after several speedy orbits around his head, Snotlout bludgeoned himself.

Fishlegs thought he was better prepared. He had been a little more creative himself and had brought a looped fishing net.  After mentally going through the dragons they had already faced amongst the more common ones on Berk he figured this little dynamo dragon might be next.

The Terrible Terror went after him next. Fishlegs held the net behind him so the pee-wee dragon couldn't see what was coming.  Since the little lizard didn't detect an immediate threat, it didn't go after Fishlegs quite as fast so as a result Fishlegs swished his net around and captured the runt.  His cheer of delight changed to a squeal of terror.  Fishlegs forgot all airborne dragon's breathe fire and this one scorched its way out of the net sending Fishlegs running in panic.

Astrid giggled at the girlish squeal coming out of such a bulky looking youth.  Now it was Astrid's turn to face the fury of the tiny, but even before she could take any self-defensive actions a spot of light caught her attention and that of this Terrible Terror.

The Terrible Terror landed on the ground to chase after the spot of light.  The little critter was no longer terrifying, but now amusing.  Gothi noticed that Hiccup had used his dagger not as a weapon but as a reflector of sunlight. Clever boy and how did he know such a ploy would work? she thought while trying to puzzle this out.

Gobber's jaw dropped yet again.  Once more this little screw up succeeded. This was the first time he saw his blacksmith journeyman use a weapon, but not for its intended purpose.

Hiccup entertained the little dragon all the way back to and into its cage.  Locking the portal, Hiccup stood up to see Gobber waving him over and then told the other teens to gather around as well.

It was now time for Gothi the elder to pick the winning candidate.   Gobber held a hand over Tuffnut. Using her new found language Gothi signed “no” by holding up her right hand, opening her middle, index, and thumb digits then closing them to a shared point.  Ruffnut; again no.  She and Gobber went through all the others with the same answer.  When Gobber raised his hand over Hiccup, she smiled and gave a fist nod for, “yes”.

With unexpected and surprising humility Snotlout held out his hand to Hiccup.  “Good job twerp.  I don't know how you beat us all, but even I can't deny that in this you did better than me.”

Hiccup looked to Astrid for interpretation and then Hiccup slapped his cheeks in shock while pretending to fall backwards.  “Thank you Snotlout.  That must have been hard for you say.”

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Stoick was walking through his to-do list for the village when he heard a great cheer arise from the killing arena.  “Ah, the killing candidate has been selected.” He mumbled to himself.  

As he approached the forge to help Gobber get caught up on some leathercraft, Phlegma approached him with a quick hug.  “You must be so rrelieved, Stoick!”  Was all she said.

Then another villager bellowed to him.  “Congrratulations, Stoick!”

Quickly he was nearly swarmed by villagers slapping him on the back and shoulders, pumping his hands, giving him shoulder checks. No one dared give him a team players slap on the butt.

“Out with old in with the new, eh Stoick?”

“No morre accidents waitin’ ta happen!”

“Good rriddance to the scrrew up!”

These last two comments scared Stoick slightly. Actually a lot.  Especially after having just lost his wife.  Was that cheer in the arena for the demise of his son.  “GOBBER!!” Stoick bellowed out.

“Rright here Chief. No need to shout.” Stoick jumped and then glared at his lifelong best friend.

“Is mah son gone?” That hadn't come out right as he meant to ask if his Hiccup had been killed?

“Yes.” Stoick's heart stopped for a moment. “Most afterrnoons actually, and now that he has Astrrid in his life as well.  I can't blame him though.  The life of a celebrrity can be so overrwhelming.  He has such a way with the beasts.”

Now Stoick was outright boggled. “You arre talkin’ about mah son?”

“Well Stoick, who else?  I know ye have been just too busy managing village affairrs ta come and see the trrainees in action, but Hiccup surprrised us all.  Did ye know he defeated each of oor captive drragons without a weapon in his hands?  That was a little confusin’ for a while.  He'd starrt off with his dagger or a shield and small hatchet, but each time he took down one of those lizards he had nothin’ ta hand.”

“Mah son. Mah son? MAH SON!! Gothi chose mah son as the winner to kill the Monstrous Nightmare!”

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The sun had long set causing Hiccup to sit alone in his darkened workroom at the forge.  Gloomy thoughts roiled through his mind as he sat under the dingy light of two candles. “Oh gods.  What have I got myself into?” Hiccup mutters to himself as he continuously flicks his charcoal pencil up the sloped surface of his drafting desk.  

Hiccup feels heavy footfalls vibrating his desk and looks up to the stairs to see his two and one fifth stride, twenty eight stone father struggling to squeeze through the door to his private little adytum.  

“Dad-uh-dad.  What brings you down here?” Hiccup choked out as he desperately tried to gather and hide his sketches of Toothless and diagrams of his tail design.

Stoick was looking around for Astrid but since she was nowhere in sight he had to try communicating on his own.  “Thought you could keep secrets from me, eh?”

“Uh-er-I meant to talk to you about it.”  Hiccup stumbled over his tongue.

“I know everything that goes on in this village!”

Hiccup was a little confused now.  Were they talking about the same thing?  “You do? Oh-uh-of course you do.”  and he feebly laughed.

“Oh, Odin you had a real rough streak going on there.  I nearly lost hope, but now with you doing so well in the arena we can finally have something to talk about.” Stoick sat on a stool in front of his son, hoping for a good chat.

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck and stuttered.  “Hmm-uh-ahem some of the others did really well too.” His attempt at idle chat just fell flat.

“Gobber says not as good as you.”  This kind of surprised Hiccup.

“Astrid’s a real natural too.”

“So I hear, but she’s not a native of Berk. I can’t expect her to fight the dragons for us.  I wouldn’t want to risk those precious hands of hers.”  For this Stoick had to resort to a combination of signs and slate.

A happy grin grew on Hiccup's lips as he replied, “No. No we can’t.” Then he shook his head to snap himself out of his love induced haze.

“You like her don’t you son?”

Hiccup shyly smiled.  “Uh dad, can I ask you a question?”

“I thought we already had that discussion about the birds and the bees?”  Stoick quipped.

Shaking his head and turning as red as a plum tomato Hiccup waved his hands in front of him in denial. “No, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.  Can I ask you why you want to launch another voyage to Helheim’s gate?”  Hiccup almost regretted asking when his father’s face took a sour turn.

“Gobber already told you about that madman’s letter found on your mother’s body?”

Hiccup sadly nodded in confirmation.

“Well some ten winters back he had attacked us here with dragons somehow under his control.   I never want him to be able to ever do that again, to any tribe.  By destroying that nest I can destroy all dragons and therefore take away Bludvist’s power.  Without dragons he’s nothing.”

“But Dad, you’ve tried to find that nest every summer for the last fifteen since Mom disappeared.  With devastating consequences.  Lost limbs and ships and by some miracle few lives!  What makes you think now will be any different?”

Slamming a fist into a beam Stoick growls out, “It has to be!  He has threatened this Island, our people and you, the only family I have left!”  Then he choked back a sob of grief.

Hiccup reflected back on something his dad said.  “You said this Drago somehow had the dragons under his control.  Can you remember hearing a weird trilling song like sound when they did?”

Stoick paused in his grief.  “Now that you mention it, yes?  How did you know?”

In answer Hiccup begged Odin to forgive him for the misleading answer he was about to give his dad.  “Something Astrid said about the time her Dad and Uncle were killed in a dragon attack.”

“Hmmm.  Actually come to think about it, we also heard similar noises on all those abortive searches for the dragons’ nest.  That noise must be how Drago controls them.  All the more reason to find that nest!”  And Stoick barged out before Hiccup could try and talk some sense into him.

Standing up Hiccup stretched, grimaces and talks to the air.  “Well Dad, good talk, I think it’s time to go to bed.”  He didn’t know if he would sleep.  The puzzle over that noise that controlled the dragons made him wonder if there might not be two behemoths that could control the smaller dragons.  Drago Bludvist somehow controlling one of them.

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Sign of the Chapter - Champion: In ASL the number 3 is indicated by holding up your Middle, and ndex fingers and your thumb out. Now for “Champion” you start off with a claw shaped three using your dominant hand, palm down, bending the fingers and thumb to look more claw shaped. Hold up the index finger of your opposite hand, and cap it with your claw shaped three.  Champion.

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FYI: ASL is the main language used by the deaf community, and I wish I had learned it first. In my home I use SEE because based on the good intentions of a teacher of deaf children I knew at the time, she advised my family learn SEE.

ASL is used silently and has a different grammar structure. SEE follows English grammar structure and can be spoken as you sign. It is a far less efficient way of signing.

For anyone interested in taking an ASL class, I strongly recommend you look for a class taught by a deaf instructor. They are the best qualified for teaching ASL.

CHAPTER 24: DREAMS

Hiccup did sleep.  So did Astrid.  So did Toothless alone in his cove. They all dreamed.

“Children!” A voice called out from a sea of white clouds. The voice was sonorous and rolled like thunder. “A person can show no greater love for his own than by giving of his life.”

The clouds of white blinked out to be replaced by clouds of roiling fire, back to clouds.

“The dragons are the protectors of my children on earth.  My Earthly Angels.”

Flames roiled again morphing into the face of a hideously disfigured human-dragon face.

The clouds of white returned.  “One who is unclean wishes to corrupt all that I made pure and good from the beginning.”

Peels of thunder crack amongst clouds of orange and red. Bursts of blue-white fire streamers cracked through and penetrate.

“Payments will be exacted to restore virtue and honour.” The voice continued to declare.

Rain fell in such torrents that these salty drops of tears, extinguished even this red and orange inferno of heat.  Then amongst the clear streams of purification seeped in drops of red.

“With you, I take back my own!”

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Abruptly Astrid awoke into full alertness, then she noticed wetness on her temples having spread to her cheeks.  She had been crying.  Putting her hands behind her to lean back she found her pillow to be quite damp.  She had been crying, and copiously by the feel of things.

Hiccup aroused with severe pain in his left calf.  His leg must have fallen asleep as it was somehow bent under him looking like a stump cut off at the knee.

They both looked out their windows to see a bright blue white pillar of light shoot straight up into the sky only to explode in a radiance resembling the eye of a god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiccup and Astrid arrived at the Talons Hollow entry boulders out of breath and in a state of high anxiety.

“What happened to Toothless?” Astrid frantically signed.

“Slow down.  I can't read you that fast.”  Hiccup actually spoke because his signing vocabulary was still not quite adequate, and he could answer faster by speaking to his interpreter.

She repeated her question and Hiccup did his best to answer in sign.  “I don't know. I just got here myself.  I awoke from a weird dream and saw that explosion.”

“A strange dream? Me too. Same as you, I saw that flash and came running.” Astrid expressed in surprise.

“What's going on?  TOOTHLESS!! BUD!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!” Hiccup cried out in panic bolting for the boulders.

Astrid reached out for his arm with lightening quick reflexes.  “Whoa there, big boy. Don't go breaking a leg or two. Proceed with caution so you can see what possible dangers may lie ahead of us. I love Toothless just as much as you do, and I'm certainly more grateful to him for saving my life, but I don't want to lose you either.”  That last statement was more effective at slowing Hiccup down than Astrid grabbing his arm.  

As it turned out there was no need to panic.  The black dragon had heard Hiccup's shout and was happily awaiting his visitors on the floor of the cove.

“So, oh wise dragon master, have you cooked up a plan of action yet?” Astrid asked as they went to shower some love and affection on Toothless.

Hiccup returned to using his newly discovered language; a work in progress.  “After reading that nut bag’s letter, I don't ever want to be called dragon master. I'd rather be called their friend. I know I shot down Toothless but I prefer to think I won him over with kindness and trust.  That in a nutshell is my plan.  I can tell you now what I discovered in caring for Toothless.”

Hiccup went on to explain some of the harmless tricks he learned about dragons thanks to Toothless.  How in the ring they only worked because he first discarded his weapons to show the arena dragons he meant no harm.  It was his intention to do the exact same thing with the Monstrous Nightmare in front of the entire tribe. “To show all of Berk that we can do better by befriending the dragons rather than continue a useless three hundred year old war.”

“Well, if anyone can bring about peace between dragons and humans, I believe it will be you.” Astrid signed encouragingly.

“Thank you for that vote of confidence. I just wish I was as certain and I hope it doesn't take a sacrifice of my life.” Hiccup commented in reply.

Astrid looked at Hiccup with a puzzled expression. “What an odd thing to say.”

“Why's that?” Hiccup asks.

In answer Astrid explained, “In my dream a voice said ‘No one can show someone any greater love than to give their own life.’”

Looking stunned Hiccup continued with, “ ‘Payments will be exacted to restore virtue and honour.’ ”

Astrid turned a little pale.  “How could we have had the same dream?”

“I wonder,” and Hiccup turned to his best friend of black scales. “Hey Toothless, did you dream last night too?” The dragon nodded in affirmation.  “Did what Astrid and I say sound like anything in your dream?” Again Toothless nodded.

Hiccup had to sit down.  He was astounded by how three individuals could have shared a dream.  He knew his people believed in the gods, but he had always been well grounded in the physical reality around him.  He hadn't really believed in the existence of supernatural entities.  What else could explain this phenomena?

“What else do you remember about your dream Astrid?” Hiccup asked.  He wanted to eliminate any possibilities of just purely fluke coincidences.

“White clouds, clouds of fire, a hideous face, water and blood.”

“Do you believe in the gods Astrid?”

“I'm not really sure.  I won’t say I disbelieve them.”

“Well, up until this point I didn't. Not really, but I think we were just given a message.  What you described in your dream was the exact same thing for me.” They both looked at Toothless who nodded yet again.

“Not good, Hiccup. Now you're scaring me.  Maybe you shouldn't go into that arena tomorrow.”

“I think no matter what course of action I take---”

“We” Astrid interrupted him.

“We take, won't change any potential outcomes.  It also doesn't mean you or I will lose our lives, but I believe some kind of sacrifice needs to be made.”

“Like what?” Astrid signed with a very concerned expression.

“My guess is it will just be an incidental one.  One you make without realising it.  I don't think any god worth their salt would require anything like a ceremonial blood sacrifice.”

“Like when my dad saved my life?” Astrid asked with great concern.

“Possibly.  Yes, your father died, but there could have been any number of other outcomes in that situation.  He could have ended up with a minor burn, broken leg.  Unfortunately he did sacrifice his life for you. ‘No greater love can someone show to another than to lay down his life for them.’”Hiccup paraphrased vocally this time. “From what you told me about your dad, he loved you that much.  I'll bet he went straight to Valhalla for saving your life.”

This revelation brought tears of fresh grief as well as joy to Astrid's eyes.  Hiccup noticed and wrapped his arms around her for consolation.  She was happy to accept his hug and squeezed back in thanks.

“I think all ‘we’ can do is proceed one day at a time, one moment at a time.”

Astrid released Hiccup, nodding in agreement.  

Hiccup turned to Toothless and asked, “Hey bud, are you hungry?” The dragon nodded.  “Then I'll go get you some fish.  We were in such a hurry to make sure you were alright I couldn't get you a basket.  So you need to be patient, alright?”

Toothless nodded his head bending it sideways back and forth as if to say, “like I have a choice?”

Astrid and Hiccup laughed at his comical response.  “I'll---”

Again Astrid interrupted with, “We’ll be back as soon as we can with your fish.” Which she spoke aloud at the same time for the benefit of Toothless.  She didn't think he could have followed much of their ASL dialogue no matter how astute he was.

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Sign of the Chapter: Dream - Using your dominant hand, touch your crooked index finger to the side or corner of your head, then as you pull it away from your head slightly up and out, open and close the finger slightly two times.

CHAPTER 25: CONFRONTATION

The villagers were excitedly gathering into the Kill Arena grandstands. Some were taking bets as to whether this would be Hiccup’s last day amongst them.  Those were the few in the village, like crusty old Mildew, who were of the belief that Stoick should have done what Viking tradition demanded, and put his runt of a child in a baby sized boat to send him off to appease the gods.  Others were betting on how many limbs he might lose before Stoick intervened.  There was a larger sized group, regular viewers of the training sessions, who were there to cheer on the new celebrity Hiccup.

After the last few stragglers took their seats Stoick stood up to address the crowd.  “Here we gatherr ta cheer on oor winnin’ trrainee o’ the drragon killin’ recrruits.  And if anyone werre to tell me beforre this day that mah son was The Chosen One, the Victor, I would ‘ave shipped him off the Island forr fearr he’d gone mad.  I almost did when I hearrd yer cheer forr Hiccup on his last day of trrainin’, and Gobber came and told me the good news.  Gobber was just lucky I actually got to see mah son later that evenin’.”  The crowd roared with laughter.

Down in the arena Astrid was interpreting his dad's speech for Hiccup.  He chuckled at dad's joke about Gobber and then swallowed hard.  He was about to speak and then remembered his hands.

“Thank you for all your support Astrid.  You have become my best friend in such a short time.”

“Hiccup, don't!  Stop right there!  I don't like to cry in public, and that's what you're trying to make me do.  This is not a farewell speech. You will win over that dragon.  You're the best, and you are Thee Dragon Master, in the good and proper meaning of that title.”

“Now you're trying to make me cry.”  He gave her a hug and pulled away.  “If anything should go wrong, please take care of Toothless.”

“I will.  Just promise me nothing will go wrong.”

Lying through his teeth, thinking there's no way he could do so, Hiccup promised her. He daringly stepped forward to give her an actual kiss, fearing this might’ve been his last opportunity.  Astrid accepted with absolutely no hesitation even reaching her hands around the back of his neck so as to allow the kiss to linger a little longer.

It really wasn't all that long, but enough for Hiccup to breathe hard as if he had been holding his breath for hours.  Turning away with Astrid’s favourite goofy grin on,  and wearing his horned breast helmet, Hiccup entered the only access point to the arena.  The portcullis slowly clanked down behind him.

To keep up appearances, but to also emphasize in his demonstration, Hiccup walked over to the weapons display to pick up a dagger and a shield.

“Hmmm, I would have gone for the hammer.” Stoick commented to Spitelout.

Looking nervous Hiccup signed to Gobber to release the dragon. Gobber raised his hands in confusion not having had the time to learn any signs.  “Okay, Gobber, let him out!” Hiccup shouted over the considerable distance.  Definitely one advantage for sign language.

“Why didnae you say so!” Gobber shouted back.  Seeing a wiggling moustache Hiccup just shook his head at his mentor.

Gobber pulled down on the lever to release the massive lock pins securing the door of the largest holding pen.  The locking mechanism was designed to pull the pins out slowly, allowing the operator to run to a secure shelter.  As brave as he was, Gobber had a healthy respect for Monstrous Nightmares.  This was the type of dragon who who had taken his left hand to just above the wrist.  It was a Gronkle that took his right leg when he had gotten too close to her kitten with an axe.  All injuries incurred by holding a weapon with intention to use it.

The Monstrous Nightmare was one of the largest of the standard dragons.   They ranged in colour from a sickly reddish green, multi hued scales to flaming orangish red.  They breathed a very dangerous kind of fire that could stick to its target like glue.  As they were in the Stoker Class of dragons they also had the ability to ooze a flammable gel from under their scaly hide to ignite themselves on fire for an armour of flame.

Dragons like the Queen Dragon Astrid and Hiccup discovered were in the Dreadnaught class.  Because of her sheer massive size, Hiccup was pretty certain there was no way he could train such a leviathan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toothless was resting in the bright sun of the cove. The dragons appeared to be reptilian in general appearance, but they were far from cold blooded.  Toothless was more like a cat who liked to bathe in warm sunlight when he had the chance.

“Arise my brother, your friend will need you as you need him.”

Toothless jumped immediately to all fours.  Wearily he looked around for the source of the voice. No one around.  What's going on?  This time he wasn't dreaming.  Yet the voice sounded familiar.  The voice from a previous dream.  A prophetic dream!

“Leave this place now, or you maybe too late.”

Toothless hesitated no longer.  The message was clear, but how to escape this pit?  He had only been able to leave with his boy on his back.

He could fly a little but he didn’t have enough control with half a tail to achieve the height he needed.

His fear for his boy drove him to make the attempt like never before.  Flapping his powerful wings as hard as he could he scaled the wall only to fall back. He didn't give up. He had gotten close. New approach.  More hop and skip flights.  Keep lower and do more jumping while flapping.  This worked for the Onyx Drake.  Shorter distances in the air allowed him to maintain more control of his trajectory, and gave him the necessary momentum to get him further up the cove wall.  Near the top The Black One nearly faltered again, but succeeded in digging his fore claws into a boulder, and with two more powerful down strokes of his wings he pulled himself over the lip of the cove.

Where to go?  Which way now?

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The pins fully retracted to release the Monstrous Nightmare, which burst from the holding pen doors fully aflame and roaring.  It could only fly as high as the overhead net of chains would allow it, where it scurried along the chains like an upside down spider.  It looked around for a threat, but did not immediately see one so it doused its body fire.  Releasing its grip on the chains it dropped to the arena floor flipping like a cat does when dropped upside down.

The dragon finally saw a pathetically small Viking approaching it, but it was armed so the dragon lowered its head and gave this tiny Viking a fierce warning growl.  

The boy then proceeded to approach it while speaking.  “I'm not one of them.” The youngling revealed.  The boy removed its horned head cap, then dropped his shield and tiny metal stinger.

The Monstrous one was confused.  The Little one had discarded all of its defenses and danger tools.  Why? It wondered.

Stoick was agitated.  What was his crazy son thinking?  “Stop the fight!” He bellowed.  

Hiccup allowed his gaze to drift up to his father just in time to see him stand and approach the chain net and iron railing, lips moving.  He could only guess at what his dad probably screamed and shouted back himself.  “No!  You need to see this!  Dragons are much more than we think they are.  Everything we think we know about them is wrong.”

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Hearing the roar of a Monstrous Nightmare, Toothless instantly knew which way to run, as fast as his legs and wings will allowed him.

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Fuming mad, Stoick struck his massive hammer onto the wrist thick iron railing before him. It dented nearly to the breaking point. “STOP THE FIGHT!” He commanded even louder.  His actions had mistakenly put his son in danger.  The strike of the hammer startled the Nightmare into trying to attack Hiccup.

Hiccup had a lot practice evading dragons. The last dragon he had to dodge, the night he shot down Toothless, was actually a Monstrous Nightmare.  Hiccup could maneuver more quickly and sharply than the larger dragon.

Astrid was frantic.  She had to get in there to help Hiccup.  That damn portcullis was down and nobody could open it just yet.  She grabbed a double headed axe off the wall and used it to lever up the steel grate door.  She slipped her thin frame under it and grabbed a hammer from the stand.  She screamed out to distract the large dragon throwing the hammer with extreme accuracy.  Just as the dragon was about to bite down on Hiccup a hammer knocked the bright orange head aside.  

Enraged, the dragon proceeded to run after Astrid who adopted Hiccup's tactic of out maneuvering the massive beast.

Fearing for the girl he loved, Hiccup got right in the face of this dragon, who turned back to pin down the small Viking. Astrid inhaled with fear only to see Hiccup was not actually hurt.

The Monstrous Nightmare had only pinned down her favourite freckled boy in its cage like claws.  Hiccup was not out of danger though.  The big dragon decided to eliminate a perceived threat.  Looking right at Hiccup it inhaled deeply.  In fear Hiccup turned his head aside awaiting a fire blast.

A shrill whistling scream proceeded a blast from an explosive blue white fire ball that demolished the overhead arena chains.  Someone screamed “Night Fury!”

The Black Drake immediately pounced on its larger kin, rolling and snapping at the bigger beast without hesitation.

The larger drake attempted to bite at the under belly of The Black One.  Despite his smaller size he had powerful legs and was able to throw off the larger one.

Toothless immediately raced to Hiccup assuming a protective posture in front of his boy and now girl.  The larger dragon tried to reach around Toothless for the humans, but that Black Drake was too quick and agile, fending off the Nightmare.

Vikings began falling into the arena like rain and with their greater numbers were able to subdue the orange red dragon.  

When Stoick moved to speak with his son, hammer in hand, Toothless thought the worst.  These humans had been known to attack and even kill their own.  He pounced on the burly Viking, inhaled in preparation for a plasma blast, blue light glowing in the back of his maw, when he heard both the boy and girl scream at him to stop.

Stoick was very fortunate the dragon had obeyed these children, and was actually shaken by his close call.  Spitelout pounced on the head of Toothless along with multiple other Vikings.  

Toothless was trapped.

Standing up, a little unsteady on his feet, Stoick commanded, pointing to the black dragon, “Lock him up with the others.“ Looking at his son and his interpreter he didn't bother signing.  “You two!  The Great Hall, NOW!” Astrid jumped at Stoick's final bellow.  Énjal, her mother saw Astrid jump and followed the trio fearing the worst.

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Stoick, in a hostile temper, nearly threw Hiccup into the great Hall. He didn’t dare touch Astrid or he could jeopardize his alliance with Bertha and the Bog Burglars.  Let alone his new relationship with Énjal.

“What in Helheim did ya think ye werre doin’ in therre Hiccup?  Do ya know how many lives ye jeoparrdized?” Stoick demanded of his son.

Hiccup looked to Astrid.  This was an extremely uncomfortable situation to be in.  She had become too emotionally invested in the lives of her clients, and now she had to purely interpret what was being said to Hiccup, without being allowed to interject her own comments or feelings.  With heroic effort she relayed Stoick's question to Hiccup. Fortunately Hiccup could answer for himself.

“I-I-I-meant to ah tell you, bu-bu-but then I-I-I thought it would b-b-be better to show you.” At the moment Hiccup was terrified of his father. He had never been manhandled this way before. That was the least of his concerns.  Stoick didn't really seem to be in a listening mood.

“Show me what?” Stoick shouted.

“Tha-that we don't have t-to ff-fight the dragons. That th-there can be peace with them.”

Stoick swept his hand down across his face in exasperation.  This was the one dislike he had of Valka all over again.  “Arre ye daft Hiccup?!  Look arround ye.  We've been fightin’ drragons for thrree hundrred years. They have killed hundrreds of us. They rraid oor livestock monthly, what else can we do?  It's not like we can negotiate a peace trreaty with them.” Stoick declared  derisively.

“And we've killed thousands of them! They raid us because they have to.  If they don't bring enough food back to the nest, they are eaten themselves.” Hiccup wailes back.

“ye've been to theirr nest?!” Stoick asks in astonishment.

“Did I say nest? Uh-I-I meant---”

Stoick interrupts him with a shout.  “Wherre is it?!”

Hiccup just realised he made a big mistake but it didn't really matter since he explained, “I don't really know. Only dragons know how to get to the Queen.” Or did it matter? The look of a brilliant idea lit up Stoick's face, and Hiccup realised what he was thinking.  Stoick turned to leave the Great Hall.  Hiccup pathetically tried to hold him back. “No, Dad!  You don't know what you're going to be facing there.  Please listen to me.  You can't win this fight. It's not like anything you have ever faced before.”

Stoick became angry again and shoved his son to the floor.  “Ye would put drragons ahead of yer own people?!  ye'rre not a Viking. Yoo'rre nae mah son.” With that stinging statement Stoick walked out the doors.  On the descending steps he paused, grief stricken at what he had said to his only son.  Then he stood straighter with more resolve.  He also had his village to think of.  Now he and his warriors could finally put an end to this scourge of dragons.  

Astrid helped Hiccup to his feet.  “Are you alright?” She signed her query.

Hiccup was hurting, badly.  Too miserable and too proud to reveal his tears to this fierce and strong young maiden, he just shook his head and walked out.  Hiccup felt like a screw up all over again, and he didn't want Astrid to see him that way.

This rejection took its toll on Astrid, so when she saw her mom pass Hiccup on her way in she ran into her mom's strong arms to weep.

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Toothless had a leather strap locked around his head so he couldn’t open his jaws to spew plasma fire.  His wings were bound by broad leather straps, encircling his torso and he was locked onto a platform with inverted U shaped bars to prevent his escape.  Once in the bars they released his wing retention straps.  Then they clamped down a wooden stock around his neck to better immobilize him.  Several hefty Vikings hoisted his platform onto a wagon which they used to transport him on a broad winding boardwalk to Stoick's waiting ship far below the arena.

In grief and feeling utterly helpless Hiccup watched as his dragon, his first real friend, was loaded aboard the Sea Dragon as if he were a condemned prisoner.

Once Toothless was secured on board his ship, Stoick looked back up at Berk only to see his son looking down at the now reduced fleet of fifteen Viking long ships.  Now feeling resentful instead of guilty, Stoik turned to the black drake.  “Lead us home, devil!” Toothless just growled and struggled against his restraints. They were too well made.

Hiccup lost track of time gazing at the horizon where the ships had long since disappeared.  He turned when he could feel someone approaching him on the boardwalk.  It was Astrid who began signing as soon as he looked her way.

“You must feel horrible. You lost your family, and your best friend.”

Not in the mood to even attempt hand speak, Hiccup muttered very sarcastically, “Thank you for summing that up.” Then turned away from her.

Astrid was not going to let this go when the first boy she had ever grown close to was in such heart pain.  Touching his shoulder to renew his attention she carried on. “I didn't say that to hurt your feelings. I feel your pain, Hiccup, I understand it.”

Now Hiccup felt like a heel.  In his anguish he had forgotten that Astrid had irretrievably lost her father and uncle in a dragon raid. Facing Astrid, Hiccup pointed to himself with his left index finger, changed it to a fist and circled it over his heart telling her, “I'm sorry.”

She didn’t accept his apology, she embraced it, and Hiccup in the process. “So Dragon Master, what are we going to do next?” Astrid signed after releasing her hug.

“Oh---probably something stupid.” He signed in reply.

“Well, you've already done that.” She simply stated.

He held up his left index finger as if contemplating something. “Then something crazy.  Meet me in the arena in a quarter hour!” His hands flew excitedly as he briefly ran backwards to the village.

Astrid, whispered to herself with a satisfied grin,  “That's more like it.”

Sign of the Chapter - Son: This is a combination sign of two words. You start with the sign for boy. On your forehead you place your flat hand horizontally, thumb under the fingers as if grasping the bill of a baseball cap; (Boy), then bring the same flattened hand into the crook of the opposite elbow as if to hold a baby. Now you have signed "Son".

CHAPTER 26: NEST

On board Stoick the Vast's flag ship and fourteen other vessels, Vikings approached an unnerving phenomena.  A fog bank that never dispersed, never revealed the island they were certain lied within.  For fifteen summers Stoick has tried to penetrate its mists, starting with the year his beloved Valka was taken from him.

Gobber approached Stoick nervously, scratching the back of his neck.  “Uh Chief?  Mmm, some of the men, not me of courrse, werre wonderin’ what the plan is, if indeed therre is a plan?”

Focusing on the fog as if in a trance Stoick responded sternly, “Find the nest and destrroy it.”

“Rright. Dirrect and to the point.” Gobber sheepishly affirmed.

A trilling warble arose from the fog, so Stoick and every Viking on deck turned in unison to look at their scaly black intruder.  The protuberances on his head that look like ears began to quiver. These were not actually ears but echo locators similar to a dolphin's sonar receptors. A dragons ears are more like that of other reptiles with small patch like disks of skin behind their jaws.

The noise was mesmerizing to Toothless, hypnotic.  His pupils contracted to slits and without realising it his head turned left toward the source of the sound.

Stoick walked to the stern of the ship to take control of the tiller.

“HARRD TO PORRT!” He bellowed to his fellow ships’ captains and the command was repeated down the line.  One by one as the command was relayed, the ships turned left into the wall of fog.  Stoick issued one more command before being swallowed up by the fog.  “Stay within shoutin’ distance and sound off frrequently.”

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A group of five teens strolled into the arena where Hiccup was awaiting them.

“You did right by seeking help from the world's most deadly weapon.” Tuffnut indicated by fluttering his right handed fingers towards himself.  

This looked too much like another sign that Hiccup had grown familiar with.  “What do you want me to wait for?” Hiccup asked in confusion.  Tuffnut looked dumbstruck until Astrid explained to him his gesture looked like the sign for, “wait”.

In a whispy voice, Ruffnut revealed to Hiccup, or so she thought, “What you did in the arena was just crazy. I like crazy! “

Feeling just a tad jealous, Astrid shoved her aside, but diligently interpreted Ruff’s comment, just to have Hiccup shake his head in amusement.

Speak-signing for the benefit of the others, Astrid asked Hiccup. “What's the plan, oh mighty leader?”

Without a word Hiccup approached the lever that released the Monstrous Nightmare and pulled it down.  Right away he started cooing to the beast so it wouldn’t barge out like it had for him.  The dragon came out calmly, surprising all his peers.

“Is he whispering to it?” Asked Ruffnut. “Wow, our very own dragon whisperer.”

Snotlout became nervous, looked down and spotted Hiccup's discarded dagger from the morning's fiasco.  He stooped down and picked it up.  Astrid gave him a firm elbow jab to his ribs, followed with a shake of her head, so he changed his mind and  threw it aside.

Suddenly Hiccup grabbed his hand, and pulled him into contact with the snout of a dragon Hiccup felt better suited for the brawny teen.  Snotlout at first whimpered in fear, which quickly changed to a giggle of delight when he heard, and felt the purr of the large dragon.  

When Hiccup stepped away, Snotlout panicked a little.  “Hey, where are you going?”

Astrid had to run to get Hiccup's attention in order to relay Snotlout's plea.

“You're going to need something to help you hold on.” Hiccup answered, holding up a coil of rope.

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With involuntary directions from Toothless, the fleet of Viking ships slowly weaved its way through a maze of reefs and sea stacks.  At one point they passed under one of their older ships, suspended from a sea stack, hanging perpendicular to the ocean. It had been lost in a previous battle from many years past.

“Oh!  That's wherre that went to.” Gobber joked shakily.  Several Vikings ducked when the mast of the Sea Dragon briefly caught on the bow of the hanging ship.

Once past it Stoick continued to deftly maneuver his ship through this maze.  Grudgingly Stoick began to admit that Hiccup was right. Only a dragon could find the nest. While he was paying attention to turns of the dragon's head, he also began to remember other odd occurrences in his recent past.  Events that the grief of having lost his wife may have temporarily erased from his mind.  He now remembered the giant dragon that had endangered them on his return voyage from the Bog Burglars, with Énjal and Astrid.  How two sets of sea dragons had both protected and escorted his vessel. He remembered Hiccup's words of warning regarding the creature they were hunting now. “You can't win this fight. It's not like anything you have ever faced before.”

Stoick contemplated turning back, but they'd also never ever made it this far to the nest before. This far in they probably couldn't leave without a guide, and that Night Fury looked like it was operating on a one way course for the moment.

As Stoick contemplated this, the fog bank vanished as they must have passed its limits.  Without warning the Sea Dragon bottomed out on a gravelly beach. Stoick looked high up onto a cliff wall of rock where he saw dragons retreating back into the mountain. It appeared to be honeycombed with caverns higher up, but nothing low enough to be used as an access point for his Viking warriors.  Stoick jumped over the gunwale of his ship to land on the beach, and immediately the dragon song ceased.  He began to issue orders. “Land the rest of the fleet, bring out and erect all the catapults.”  The Warriors tended to their orders, as he examined the face of the cliff wall.

From top to bottom the honeycomb entrances reduce in number.  Stoick noticed how some were only partially open, and the wall around these were slightly protruding.  He looked for a similar feature closer to the base of the wall and found one.  Stoick called over his commanders and drew a diagram in the dirt.  He indicated his plan of attack and how he wanted all the catapults to target the slight protrusion on the face of the cliff wall in front of them. “When we crrack open that mountain all Helheim is going to break loose.” Stoick warned his men.

“And mah undies!” Proclaimed Gobber.  “It's a good thing I brrought extra skivvies.”

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“I'll warn you now so you hopefully won't be shocked into panic.  The monster we’re about to face is massive.  Astrid and I saw it eat a Gronkle like a cat eating a housefly.”

This made Fishlegs gulp. He was very uneasy, since it was the only Gronkle in their group that chose him.  Ironically Fishlegs named his sausage looking dragon Meatlug. Despite its massive boulder crushing teeth this dragon was actually a big “sucky poo” when given some affection.

Aside from choosing Snotlout's dragon for him, all the other dragons chose their own riders. The two headed Zippleback somehow realised Tuffnut and Ruffnut were related, if not actually twins, so they became its riders. The Twins immediately called it Barf and Belch.

Hookfang was the only name Snotlout could think of for his dragon, since it's teeth and claws were quite prominent.

The prettiest but dangerous, blue and yellow Deadly Nadder, chose Astrid.  Privately Hiccup thought, But of course she would.

“Listen up guys. When we get there I obviously won't be able to hear you.  Fishlegs, you do a quick analysis on it and see if you can figure out any weaknesses we can use against it.  Try the tricks Gobber taught us in training; noise, blind spots.  Your main goal is to distract it from our fleet, and our warriors.  Do not get too close, please.  I'll be riding with Astrid until we get there.  You guys go ahead and take off.  Astrid and I have to retrieve Toothless's rigging.”

Tuffnut spoke up, “How are we supposed to get there oh wise and brilliant leader?”

Followed by Ruffnut’s rusty peevish voice. “We don't know the way.”

After Astrid’s conversion, Hiccup informed them, “Only dragons know how to find the nest. Trust your dragons.”

The four teens and three dragons flew out of the arena. Three of four teens whooped it up, and Fishlegs whimpered at first, until he realised the Gronkle's flight was more similar to a hummingbird, therefore very stable. They were an odd looking duo since Fishlegs was nearly as large as his dragon.

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The eight catapults began to hammer the weak spot on the cliff wall, one at a time,  keeping up a steady flow of boulders.  The barrage succeeded in breaking through the cliff wall after about twenty-two impacts, revealing a rather large tunnel.  It appears a huge gas pocket had begun to form while the magma was still liquid hot, but failed to penetrate before the outer shell cooled.  This of course had occurred eons ago.

Stoick approached the mouth of their new opening without any apparent fear.  He was exceptionally confident of the marksmanship of his “catapulteers”.  After all they had hit the exact same spot every time.  He signaled for a fire ball, simply standing there while they lobbed it over his head, down the tunnel. The fire ball illuminated hundreds, perhaps thousands of dragons lining the tunnel wall.

Just as Stoick stepped to walk into the tunnel, all the dragons erupted from the newly created escape route.  Not a one attempted to attack or hurt Stoick despite his waving and swinging his hammer at them.  They just flew off for freedom.

Gobber looked at the torrent of dragons spewing from the tunnel opening, and as they vanished into the sky above he asked “Is that it?”

Vikings all around him began to cheer.  They couldn't have hoped for a greater success with no casualties.

Stoick couldn’t help thinking This cannae be rright. Therre's no way it should‘ve been this easy.  Not with the warning Hiccup had given him.

The wall started to vibrate with an ominous earth rumbling roar. Stoick ran from the cave and the ground tossed his warriors around like beans on a drum skin.  Another thunderous roar is heard and the side of the cliff began to crumble, as something from within broke free.

Despite an avalanche of rocks that lookef like the mountain had come down, a gargantuan head emerged from the cliff wall, followed by a yet larger winged body.

Several of the “catapulteers” regained their footing and managed three hits on the beast.  Unfortunately to a creature who was able to push its way out of a mountain, the boulders were simply an annoyance.  

Someone yelled, “To the ships!”

Stoick realised that's exactly what not to do and shouted even louder, “No! Stay clear of the ships!” and just after this the juggernaut dragon bit a catapult to kindling,  then expelled a vortex of flame, setting nearly every ship afire.  Toothless was still trapped aboard an inferno Sea Dragon. He struggled, pulled and pushed, but was unable to overcome his fetters.

Stoick exploded a new command. “Head for the north shore!”

“That's a smarrt one it is.” Gobber declared of this walking nightmare, as it knew to attack the vessels of these puny humans first.

“Go with the others!” Stoick commands Gobber. “I can buy you all some time by giving that thing something to chase.”

Locking onto Stoick's forearm Gobber shouts back at him, “Then I can double that time.” and he hurtled a spear, nearly hitting the dragon's eye.

The titanic dragon looked down to see two of these pathetic bipeds jumping and squeaking at her.   When one of them threw a sliver at her and nearly hit her eye, she becomes enraged again.  She was about to squash these two gnats when three of her slaves have returned all roaring and flaming at her.  How dare they!  Wait, something is wrong.  There's more of these puny insects on the backs of her servants.

Stoick can't believe his eyes and mouthed, “What the------”

“Everry bit the stubborrn Viking you everr were.” Gobber sort of completed his thought when he also saw all of his young recruits riding on the backs of dragons.

Stormfly landed on the burning Sea Dragon to discharge Hiccup.  “Go join the others.  I'll catch up with you as soon as I free Toothless.”

Stoick watched the Deadly Nadder, with his son, land at his burning ship and immediately knows what his son needs to do.  Stoick ran for his ship.

“Toothless! I'm here! I'll get you out bud!” Hiccup struggled with the lock securing the neck stock holding down Toothless.  Panicking he looked around for something to pry open the lock with.

Stoick barely escaped a gigantic crushing claw, as the massive dragon attempted to deal with four smaller beasts, and their riders.  In its distraction it stumbled into the Sea Dragon, throwing Toothless and Hiccup into the water.

The five teens currently orbiting the giant head were banging their shields and weapons, in a pitiful attempt to disorient the massive dragon.  This ploy backfires because it also throws off their own dragons.

In an attempt to twist away from humongous jaws, Hookfang barrel roled and ended up dumping Snotlout onto the head of the gargantuan dragon.  Not missing a, beat he pulls his hammer from his belt.

At first the behemoth only seems to have two eyes.  “Uh guys!  I don't think she has any blind spots!” Fishlegs yelled out after the queen opened another two pair of eyes.

Snotlout ran for one set of three eyes on the right side of the queen's head, and starts whacking at them with his hammer.  “What's the matter buddy? Something in your eye?” Snotlout crowed, not aware of the larger dragons gender.

Annoyed, the titanic dragon spun around attempting to dislodge the insect near her eyes. The air current caused by her tail nearly hitting the Gronkle, sent Fishlegs and his dragon spinning out of control. “Mayday! Mayday!  Gronckle losing power!” Fishlegs shouted out.  When they landed Fishlegs was thrown into the gravelly beach and announced, “I'm okay!” Only to have Meatlug somersault onto him.  “Less okay.” He muffled out from under his dragon.

The Zippleback flew over Snotlout hammering at the three huge eyes, and Ruffnut screeched at him, “Yeah! You the man!” Well, finally hearing a compliment from his favourite blond, he became distracted and lost his grip, nearly falling into the human sized teeth of the enormous dragon.  Hookfang soared under him and Snotlout let go with perfect timing to land on his dragon's back.

Astrid shouted at the twins to distract and lure the queen away from the ships, and they immediately began arguing about who was more annoying.  Somehow this actually worked and the hideous queen tried to snap at them.

Hiccup clung to Toothless' platform, vainly attempting to set his dragon free. Unfortunately he hadn't had a chance to inhale properly and quickly passed out in the briny waters.  Stoick five in right in after him, pulled him back out onto the shore where Hiccup coughed up a bunch of water.  Right away Stoick five back into the water for the Night Fury.  Stoick had no way to unlock the wooden stock holding Toothless down, but he wasn't called Stoick the Vast for nothing.  He grabbed a hold of the open end where the hasp was, and with a great strain ripped apart the blocks of wood.Toothless immediately grabbed Stoick in his claws and pulled him out of the water, with his momentum leaping onto the shore.

Hiccup didn't hesitate in rigging up Toothless for flight.  In short order Hiccup mounted Toothless, but before he could launch Stoick put a hand on his arm.  Hoping Hiccup would understand him he signed “I'm sorry. Proud to call you my son. You don't have to do this.”

“Thanks dad.  It's an occupational hazard.” And he flew off to join the fight with his peers and now new friends.

Stoick heard one of his crew cry out, with a cheer this time, “Night Fury!”

Sign of the Chapter - Ship: This is an easy one. Form both hands in the shape of a ship's hull in front of your sternum, then push them forward away from you, simulating the ship pushing forward through the water.

A/N: Warning to the squeamish.  There is a moderately descriptive scene in this chapter regarding first aid.

CHAPTER 27: FIRESTORM

Once in the air Hiccup and Toothless nearly panicked.  Astrid and Stormfly were trying unsuccessfully to escape the vacuum effect of the queen's inhalation.  This enraged the Night Fury.  How dare this monster, like the Skrill, try to hurt his girl.  Hiccup had no idea how powerful his little dragon could be. Little by comparison to most other dragons, but that Night Fury let loose a charge so intense, it knocked that mountain of a dragon flat on her side.

She was clearly surprised herself as she shakily got back to her feet.  The other dragons were grounded for the moment, exhausted from their efforts to distract the queen.

“That thing has wings!  Let's see if she can fly, bud!” Hiccup challenged, so Toothless blasted her a couple more times to aggravate the expansive dragon into flight.  

The ploy worked and she unfolded wings of such immensity they nearly blocked out the sky for the Vikings on the ground.

The chase was on.  Toothless was far more agile, but not all that much faster than his larger adversary.  Where he had to weave and dodge around the sea stacks, the queen, who could walk through solid rock, just pummeled her way through obstacles.

Hiccup quickly realised he and his black knight had to change tactics. Remembering his lessons from Astrid, he was going to use the larger dragon’s size and strength against it. In level flight it might give Toothless a run for his marks, but there was no way it could climb straight up like the smaller dragon could.

They took a good lead on the larger dragon and then managed to disappear into the upper cloud layers, where the huge dragon struggled to hover and search out her quarry.  

From the ground Astrid and the other Vikings were becoming highly anxious for Hiccup.  They could see the sky light up with explosions of blue-white fire, silhouetting the larger dragon.

The queen was “holler-roaring” in pain as the Night Fury's plasma shots punched holes through her wing membranes.  She realized she was now in serious peril and began spewing torrents of flame all about her in the air, attempting to create a shield of fire against her assailant. Unfortunately this tactic worked, and the flames ignited the leather tail fin Hiccup had created for Toothless.

Hiccup knew they were in trouble, and that their best hope for survival was to get back to the surface before the tail fin was completely consumed by flames.  He was confident those minor flames wouldn't hurt Toothless as dragon scales were highly impervious to fire.

A recollection hit Hiccup like a sledge hammer and he ordered Toothless to dive, not having the time to be courteous.  Toothless zipped past the queen, having her immediately give chase.  They dove for a good twenty to thirty heart beats.  Trusting entirely in Toothless, Hiccup twisted on his saddle to keep a watch on their large foe.

Hiccup’s anxious patience paid off.  He saw the gigantic jaws open to inhale and a large billow of gas build up in the queen's throat.  “NOW BUD!” shouted Hiccup.  Toothless intuited Hiccup’s meaning, ducking his head nearly to his chest and blew out a plasma discharge into the queen's maw.  That was her weak point. Her gas was so volatile, it ruptured several of her internal organs.  She opened her wings in a hopeless attempt to cut her speed. She was too big and heavy, though, for her hole punched wing membranes and the burning holes just ripped apart wider.

Toothless opened his wings just in time to maneuver beyond the path of the falling queen.  She hit the beach a long distance away from the Vikings, but the concussive blast was still enough to throw them all off their feet.  A large mushroom cloud of flame ascended from her carcass.

Her body was of such a scale that as the cloud of flames arose to engulf Hiccup and Toothless, her tail was still descending on the heroic pair.  There was only so much Toothless could do to avoid the tail studs, and one of them caught Hiccup's left leg, knocking him out of the saddle despite the safety straps.

Toothless screamed in terror for his boy. He may not be able to fly around with his damaged tail, but he could certainly dive quickly.

All the  Vikings witnessed Hiccup falling into the burst of fire, followed by Toothless flapping with everything he had to catch him.  They both vanished.

Astrid wailed in despair.  This couldn't be happening.  Her Hiccup's life couldn't be the sacrifice demanded of this god of their dreams.  What was the point of taking the life of the only man who could reunite men and dragons, as the god desired.

Stoick moved to embrace the girl in her grief and she accepted it briefly.  When she suddenly realised that she also saw Toothless  follow after Hiccup, and if there was any chance her boy could be saved, that black dragon was it.

Astrid broke free from Stoick and moved in the general direction of the explosion.

The flames had died out to be replaced by a slowly descending cloud of ash.

All the  Vikings spread out in search of a hiccup who had become their saviours.

“Hiccup! Hiccup! Answer me damned you!” Astrid cried out without realising it. In her fear for her love, yes her love, she forgot he was deaf.  When she finally came to this realization she began shouting for, “Toothless! Toothless!”

As worried as he was himself Stoick had to ask himself,What kind of name is that for a dragon?

Astrid weaved back and forth amongst the ship debris looking for any signs for her beloved duo.

Stoick was searching another area adjacent to Astrid when he heard her cry, “Toothless!” with a tone of heart wrenching despair.  He ran up to her only to find her on her knees weeping in grief.  Stoick glanced around for his son.  If the dead Night Fury was here, where was his son?

“Hiccup!  Hiccup!” Stoick roared out like a dragon in heart wrenching grief, having forgotten himself that Hiccup could no longer hear.  He inhaled again to shout but he stopped when he heard a sharp gasp from Astrid.  His first  bellow had been loud enough to rouse the stilled black beast before them.

Astrid cried out as she went to hug Toothless's head. “Oh, thank you, for saving us again.”

Again? Puzzled  Stoick as he was not aware of the story she had revealed to Hiccup.

Astrid continued, not caring if anyone else heard her.  “Toothless, where's Hiccup?  I can't leave without telling him I love him, before saying goodbye.” Astrid sobbed out the last words since she didn't think there was any way Hiccup could have survived that fireball.

This nearly broke Stoick's heart.  His greatest wish for these two young teens was finally realised, and now his son wasn't around to hear the words of this remarkable and dear girl.

Toothless warbled and began to stir. Slowly, carefully he began to unfurl his wings.

Now Gobber came to stand beside Stoick. The rest of the warriors standing behind them, grieving with their Chief for the loss of his son.

Toothless first opened his left wing, then he delicately unfurled his right wing to reveal the body of Hiccup within. Miraculously he was unburned, protected by the fire resistant wings of his dragon.

“HICCUP!” Stoick shouted as he ran to his son and scooped him up.  Putting his ear to the chest of his son, he declared, “He's alive! ye brrought him back alive!”

Astrid jumped up to go hug the man she just confessed loving.

“Well, most of him anyway.” Gobber mentioned by pointing out that Hiccup had not escaped unscathed. Astrid was horrified to see part of Hiccup's left leg dangling just below the knee.  The impact with the tail studs of the queen had actually protected Toothless, but had nearly ripped off Hiccup's leg.  Astrid conquered her revulsion and jumped into first aid action. She cut off one of the leather strips from her armored skirt, one without out spikes as they were interspaced with spiked strips.  Out of it she made a tourniquet and wrapped it around Hiccup's left thigh just above the knee. Gobber picked up a piece of broken wood and handed it to her so she could twist it tight.  She then took out her own sizeable belt knife, and swallowing back bile, cut the rest of Hiccup's leg off.  There was no saving it.

Hiccup, however, was still bleeding and looking pale.  Because of numerous dragon attacks on her own childhood Islands, she knew of one sure way to stop the bleeding, and at the same time sterilize the injury.  “Toothless!  Quick! Heat up my blade.” He did so as quickly and carefully as possible. The blade quickly became orange hot.  She quickly touched the hot knife to the end of Hiccup's leg, cauterizing the leg to stop the blood flow. Even unconscious this caused enough pain for Hiccup to groan and squirm.  Astrid managed to finish her ministrations just as the knife handle became too hot for her to hold any longer.

Fishlegs lost his lunch from the smell of burning flesh and bone.  Even Tuffnut and Ruffnut turned a little green.  They all were very impressed with how well Astrid handled this crisis.

“Chief? Do you have a healer on Berk?” An anxious Astrid asked.

“Gothi the elder, but how can we get him there?” Stoick asked worriedly.  He hadn't inventoried how many ships had survived and they would take too long.

Thinking on her feet Astrid explained, “We'll fly back to Berk.  I'll take Hiccup with me on Stormfly, and you can ride with Snotlout on Hookfang.

Stoick gulped hard as he wasn't mentally prepared to go flying, let alone on beasts he had spent a lifetime hunting and killing. He, however, swallowed his pride, recognizing the fact that his son and his team of dragons and riders just saved all their fannies.  Putting out his hand to touch the nose of Toothless, Stoick told the dragon, “Thank ye forr savin’ mah son.” Turning to Spitelout and Gobber, he instructed them to salvage as many ships as possible, and organize efforts to return everyone back to Berk.

Realizing time for his son was crucial, Stoick lifted Hiccup like a rag doll and handed him up to Astrid.  She had to arrange him side saddle in order to maintain the best hold of him against her shoulder.  Astrid didn't wait for the Chief. She knew the Haddock residence well.

“Follow me, Chief.”  Snotlout invited.  

On their way to Hookfang, Spitelout took hold of his own son's forearm in a warrior's handshake. “I'm prroud of ye son. Thank ye forr helpin’ ta save us.” Imitating what he saw Stoick do, Spitelout daringly touched the nose of the Monstrous Nightmare, “And thank ye too.” The dragon gave a pleasant surprise to the father of his rider with a purr and a lick to his hand.

With that, Spitelout knew that the next Chief of Berk would have to be Hiccup.  He saw in dragons what three hundred years of Viking pigheadedness had failed to recognize.  It was his innovative young mind that his people truly needed.

Spitelout made a silent prayer. Oh grreat fatherr Odin, please sparre Hiccup's life and grrant him speedy healin’. I ask this in the name of Thor, yer son.

Hookfang lowered his sinewy neck to allow his rider and passenger to climb on his neck.  Stoick's balance on the surprisingly slender neck was precarious and Snotlout could feel his instability. As his Chief was nearly three times his size he advised, “Just reach over me Chief and hold onto Hookfang’s horns.  They make great handles.”

Stoick heeded the advice of his nephew and felt much safer for it.  “Hold on tight. Dragons can't really take off slowly, when they flap, you go.” Hookfang thought that was the command to fly, so he caught both his riders a little off guard.  It was a good thing they were already holding on to the dragon's horns.

CHAPTER 28: HEALER

Stormfly landed in front of the Chief's house, and surprisingly her mother came running out, having noticed a large shadow sweep by the window.

“What happened?” Énjal signed with great agitation.

“Hiccup lost his leg battling a gigantic dragon.  He needs the village healer.” Astrid explained with difficulty as her arms were full of Hiccup.

Stormfly squatted right onto her belly to make it as easy as possible for her rider to dismount with her injured mate.

Astrid was strong but not strong enough to carry Hiccup's dead weight up to his room.  Her mother however was a sturdy full grown Viking woman and she took Hiccup from her arms.

Astrid was surprised to see tears of distress fill her mother's eyes.  She didn't think it was possible for her mother to come to care so deeply for her Hiccup.  By the gods she couldn't believe she had come to cherish him this intently in barely two weeks, if that, but it felt more like a lifetime ago.

Astrid wasn't yet familiar enough with Berk to know where everyone lived. Where to find the healer?  She was familiar with Bjorn the baker so she jumped back on Stormfly for a short flight and directed her to the bakery. Bjorn was not a warrior so he had remained on the Island. “Bjorn! Where do I find Gothi, your healer?”

The urgency in her voice had Bjorn rushing out to her.  “How did ye get back so fast?” The baker asked in wonder.

“Never mind right now.  Hiccup's hurt badly.  Where's your healer?” Astrid reiterated in high anxiety.

Bjorn pointed up to one of the lower mountain peaks where a small hut was erected.  He ran with a squeal back into his shop when he saw Astrid run and jump onto a blue and yellow Deadly Nadder.

“Thanks for all your help girl.  Just two more short flights and I think you can have the rest of the day off.” Astrid praised her dragon, who squawked back in appreciation.

They landed at Gothi's back door.  Astrid thought she must be psychic as Gothi had been waiting for her with a satchel of medical supplies.  She then realised that from this lofty vantage point she could observe many comings and goings. Astrid also wondered how Gothi otherwise came and went from such a lofty dwelling place.

Without hesitation she reached up for Astrid's hand and pulled herself up behind the blond interpreter. “Hold onto me tight Gothi.  The take offs can be jerky!”

Stormfly had to make a liar out of Astrid.  She could tell by smell this new passenger was an older and more frail female human; she would take extra care. Since Gothi's hut was at the edge of a cliff, Stormfly simply spread her wings, and stepped off the cliff for a nice and smooth glide.

In less than a minute the Nadder was landing once again at the Haddock residence, and flattening herself to the ground once again. Hugging her dragon's large head Astrid spoke, “Thank you so much Stormfly. Go get yourself something to eat.  I'll be here for quite a while.” A large shadow swept the ground and Astrid looked up to see the Monstrous Nightmare coming in for a landing.

“Thank you, Snotlout. Thank you, Hookfang.” Stoick said as he hesitantly patted the dragon's snout. This being friendly with dragons was going to take some getting used to, but all thanks to his son. Stoick followed Astrid and Gothi into his home.

Gothi knew her way around as one of the eldest residence of Berk. Quite well she knew the Haddock home, since Hiccup had been accident prone for quite some time. Stoick, being an inexperienced single dad to an infant, after the disappearance of Valka, also called on her services many times.  Gothi didn't wait for Astrid but lead the way to Hiccup.

Astrid was somewhat embarrassed for Hiccup since in her brief time away, her mother had managed to strip down Hiccup to his skivvies, and had begun to give him a sponge bath in Stoick's bed.  He wasn't going to be doing any stair climbing any time soon, so it made more sense to nurse him on the main floor.

It was probably a good thing he was passed out or this man-boy she had come to love would be beet red with embarrassment.  Astrid, also couldn't help noticing that she had been right about his finely toned muscle. No, he wasn't beefy like other Viking teens she knew, but he had only just begun his growth cycle. He was a late bloomer.

Énjal moved aside and Gothi went right to work. She started with Hiccup's amputation first. She was pleased with the first aid efforts that had been applied to Hiccup's left leg.  She quickly took out some ointments to fight and prevent infection, applied them, and bandaged the stump to keep it clean.

Before she continued, Gothi turned to Astrid and signed, much to the girl’s surprise. Waving her right index finger in front of her mouth and making an “oo” shape with her lips, the elder asked,  “Who did?” and Gothi pointed to Hiccup's stump.

Astrid was worried she had messed up somehow. She pointed to herself and said, “I did.”

However, the young translator need not have stressed about it regardless of how briefly.

“Good work. Smart thinking.” Gothi definitely liked this sign language business. Much easier than writing in the dirt with her staff. With Hiccup and the Hofferson girl around, she would have more available interpreters too. Hopefully that bumble headed but loveable big galoot, Gobber, would learn some ASL as well.

With a worried blush for the compliment, Astrid signed back, “Thank you.”

Gothi turned back to continue examining her patient.  Hiccup's breathing was good if a bit slow. His heart was strong and steady. His work did well to keep him physically fit.  She pinched the skin of Hiccup's left hand which was slow to rebound. His pale complexion and lack of skin elasticity indicated dehydration, probably due to blood loss.  He had some additional minor bruising, but no other serious injuries, as far as she could determine from all her palpating.

Turning to her audience, Gothi asked with her hands, “Who cares for him?”

Three hands shot up belonging to Astrid, Stoick and Énjal.  This delighted Gothi, as Hiccup wouldn't be lacking any attention, and his caretakers wouldn't exhaust themselves by  taking shifts.

Gothi asked Stoick for some parchment and a writing utensil.  Her "signabulary" was not extensive enough for the instructions she was to give.  “He needs to drink as soon as possible.  He shouldn't sleep much longer.  He needs to drink much to help renew his blood.  Feed him lots of greens as this is important for new blood.  I will make him a special beverage for the same. I will bring herbal teas for his pain.  Tomorrow, remove the bandage and let his wound breathe for half a morning or afternoon.  I will leave you my ointments to reapply after cleaning his stump again.  Do this everyday for two weeks.  It will take time for skin to regrow and seal up the leg.  You and Hiccup will have to be patient.  It takes a long time to recover from amputation.  Astrid knows where to find me if you need me again.  I will go prepare more medicines for him now.  If pain wakes him up before I come back, give him some hard liquor. For his size half a cup will do.”

With that Gothi left to attend her preparations.

“Please excuse me ladies.” Stoick spoke up. “I'll take the night shift if ye want.  I ‘ave to make morre arrangements about getting oor people back to Berrk.  I'm not surre if therre werre enough useable ships to bring everryone home.  I still have two in reserrve for emerrgencies.”

He left Hiccup in their good hands to go and speak to the rest of the dragon rider teens.  As he was hoping he found them in the arena as it was still the best place to house their dragons.

“Snotlout?” Stoick called.

This call from the Chief flabbergasted him. Since when did the big man call on him unless he was in trouble?

“Have yer drragons had a chance to rrest?” Stoick inquired.

“Yes, Sir. We just fed and watered them. Is there something wrong?” Snotlout worried.

“No’at all. In fact I'm prroud o’ all of’ ye. I was hopin’ I could rrely on ye and yer drragons forr some morre help.”

“Anything, Chief.” They all chorused, delighted for a chance to come to the notice of their Chief for something other than mischief.

“Do ye think yer drragons could tow the two rremaining ships back to that Drragon Island?  I'll make surre they both have crrews aboarrd to take overr if the drragons get tired.

Snotlout walked over to a supply chest and pulled out several long coils of rope. “Sure thing, Chief.  We'll get right on it.”

Other than some mild uncertainty about the twins, Stoick felt safe enough leaving the rescue efforts to this whole new coalition.

Sign of the Chapter - Healer (Actually doctor) :-) : First you make the letter "D" with your dominant hand. Form a small circle with all your fingers and thumb and extend up only your index finger. Now the hand looks like a small "d". Bring this hand letter down to the wrist of the opposite hand, representing the doctor taking your pulse. This is the sign for "Doctor".

Healer could be signed this way as well. First the sign for"Heal" by starting with wide open hands touching each side of your upper chest, then pulling both hands slightly out to form fists quickly with a smile, followed by the sign for person by bringing both flattened hands up, parallel to each other in front of you with your elbows bent, then draw two short parallel imaginary lines from top to bottom. Heal + person = Healer.

CHAPTER 29: ADMISSIONS

Waving to get her mom's attention, Astrid told her mom, “I'm going to talk to the Chief.  Right now I'm the most expendable person on Berk. I'll take the night shift---”  Astrid was really hoping her mother wouldn't object since she and Hiccup were still very young. “---since Stoick needs to remain well rested to manage his responsibilities.”

Énjal was not naive, but she also implicitly trusted her daughter.  She was pretty certain that her Astrid and Hiccup had become an unofficial couple, so her daughter wanted to use this time to get closer to this boy who had won her over. “That's alright with me, but no funny business.” Énjal signed with a big wink.

Astrid turned crimson.  She wasn't planning on any “funny business” but she should have known she couldn't sly her way around her mother either.

Equally glib, Astrid answered her mother with, “As if that could ever happen with the constant flow of people who will be coming and going.” Astrid, herself believed in purity before marriage.  Any act of love that could lead to the creation of children needed to wait until then.  That way children could grow in a proper environment of love, short of a tragedy befalling one of the parents, as was the case for her.  She still however remembered the love between her parents and the shared love they had for her.

“I'm going to see the Chief now, mom.” Astrid notified her mom before she began to sweat red with embarrassment.

“See me about what?”

Astrid jumped a mile. As large as he was, the Chief could move around quite noiselessly.  Énjal giggled at her daughter's reaction since she had seen Stoick enter, but Astrid had her back to the door.

“Oh Chief, you startled me.”

“Come now, Astrrid. Afterr savin’ oor big Hooligan butts, can ye please go back ta callin’ me Stoick? Ye, Hiccup and yer teammates ‘ave morre than earrned that prrivilege. Although I think that Snotlout callin’ me Chief still sounds better.”

Astrid quirked a smile at him for that and interpreted for her mom.  That little joke went over Énjal's head because she was not aware of Snotlout's reputation, or how he had tried to make a pass at her daughter on day two of her stay on Berk.

Astrid would have to ask her mom, or even Hiccup, to assign him a better name-sign than the one Hiccup and Gobber adopted for him.  Snotlout had been quite brave jumping onto that queen's head.  Even if it was by accident, he hadn't panicked and still proceeded to do what he could to attack the beast.  She just wouldn't admit it openly to him.

“I was telling my mom since I'm the most expendable person on Berk, I'll trade the night shift of care with you, so you stay better rested for your Chiefly responsibilities.” Astrid explained again for Stoick.

Glancing up slyly at Énjal, he too would not be easily fooled by this girl’s attempts to disguise her true intentions in this matter.

Cupping Astrid's chin in his paw like hand, Stoick lifted her face to meet his gaze. “Astrrid ye dearr child. Ye are the last perrson I would everr call, what did ye say ‘expendable’?  As farr as I am concerrned ye arre one o’ the grreatest trreasures I have everr managed to discover. Ye and yer motherr both. And I prray to oor heavenly fatherr, Odin, that you will both stay on Berrk.” Stoick then opened his arms to welcome her into a warm embrace.  

With her eyes welling up, Astrid turned to her mother to translate, and then the two ladies walked into his arms.  Astrid understood now, why Hiccup had such a large and giving heart.

With a painful croak Hiccup told them.  “Uh-hey, can I get in on that?” He attempted to get up but he was far too weak. Before he could try again Astrid squealed in delight, running to give him a solo hug before she had to share.

Stoick and Énjal just held their own side by side embrace, smiling down on the young teens.

When Astrid broke her hug with Hiccup, she punched his left shoulder, but not terribly hard.

“Ow! Why would you do that? Remember? Injured person here.”

“That's for scaring me!” Astrid complained only to lean over him and give him a heart melting kiss. “That's for everything else.”

With a sigh Hiccup sank back into his pillows.  “Like I said before, that is thee best possible pain reliever.  I could get used to it.”

Astrid gave a quirky tilt to her head and smiled a smile that Hiccup would lock into his visual memory forever.

Then he started coughing.  Astrid went right into action. Remembering Gothi’s directives, she propped up a bunch of pillows behind Hiccup.  This helped him to breathe a little easier. She went out and filled a large clay pitcher from the spring fed well, then brought a cup to the bed.  She filled it and handed it to Hiccup. “Gothi says you lost a lot of blood, so you need to drink a lot of water.”

Hiccup tried to bring the cup to his lips, but his coughing fit had left him weak and shaking. Astrid steadied his hand and holding the back of his head, helped him to drink.  To her relief he managed to drink two whole cups.

“Thank you.” Hiccup told his nurse maid. “Does that mean I get to call you Nurse Astrid now?”

Énjal looked proudly at her daughter, again.  Even from a young age, Astrid had been a very capable young lady, and here was only more evidence of her capabilities.

Astrid told her mom what Hiccup had said and Énjal chortled at Hiccup's comment. Signing back Énjal told her shared patient, “After a couple of days of my feeding you up, and Gothi's medicines, you will have to start signing again.  You are not excused from practising and learning your sign language.”

Astrid had to fill in some of the blanks for Stoick and Hiccup as they still couldn't comprehend everything in ASL.  Smiling up at her, Hiccup attempted to sign, “Thanks mom.” He meant to be endearingly sarcastic, but he was just too weak to pull it off.  So he said it instead.  

Énjal raised an eyebrow at his response but smiled.  She actually liked the thought of that, but instead she replied with, “I would love to call you my son, but then you couldn't marry my daughter.”

That much Hiccup could understand and it set him to coughing again.

Stoick's eyes bulged as he looked at the beautiful Énjal beside him, and all that was implied by her statement.  

Astrid was so surprised, pleasantly that is, by her mother's revelation, she had to take a drink of water herself, until Hiccup was tapping her for more to drink.

After he had his fill of water, Hiccup faded away to sleep again.  Somehow with all this breaking news the pain of his missing leg had not made itself known.

“Alright, Stoick. Go find some greens for supper, and if possible some fresh yak liver or at least a roast of yak.  Your boy needs beefing up.  Astrid, you go and buy some fresh bread,  and don't worry, I will babysit your boyfriend, not bite him.” So ordered Énjal Hofferson.

After some additional interpreting both Stoick and Astrid saluted their exalted chieftess, and ran for the hills to attend to their tasks while running for their lives.

Sign of the Chapter - Kiss: With a flat bent hand, fingers closed, use the tips of the fingers to touch the end of your lips and then the side of the cheek.

CHAPTER 30: SALVAGE AND RESCUE

Three ropes tethered two Viking long ships to three dragons. “Alright, on the count of three we lift off, take up the slack in the ropes, and start pulling the ships.” Snotlout was so stoked he couldn't wait for his dad to see him taking on this leadership role.

“Wait, wait.  Does that mean we lift into the air on three?” Tuffnut queried.

“Or wait a beat and then take off?” Finished his twin sister Ruffnut.

Or did he? Wondered Snotlout, with buffoons like this.  Now he could understand some, how others felt about him.  Payback was a bitch.

“I said on three you knucklehead.” Snotlout said in exasperation.

With her squeaking whiny voice Ruffnut countered with, “Oh contraire my good sir,”

Which was finished off by Tuffnut this time, “you said on the ‘count’ of three.

Fishlegs had to cover his mouth for fear of laughing out loud.  He would have some amusing anecdotes to regale Hiccup with after they got back to Berk.

“Arrhhgg.  Fine. Let me put it as simply as I can.  I will count to three, and when I say the number three, we take off.  Is that clear enough for you moronic twits?”

Ouch, Fishlegs thought.  Hiccup definitely has a better temperament for leadership.  Evident even by his one short stint as the mission leader to rescue their fellow Berkians.

“Alright, your grumpiness.  You don’t have to be so harsh.”  Whined Tuffnut.

“Yeah.  We were just trying to help by clearing up any possible confusion for Fishlegs.” Was Ruffnut’s snarky additional comment.

This time Fishlegs couldn’t help laughing.  He had clearly understood Snotlout’s original instructions.  Fishlegs was also perfectly aware that the twins were just doing this to get under Snotlout’s skin.  This was just too easy to do.

“Alright then.  Listen up.  No more wasting time.” Ordered Snotlout. “We have family on Dragon Island waiting to be rescued. One---two---three!”

Snotlout shouted the last number, and all three dragons and four riders lifted into the air like a well practiced team.  “Take up the slack nice and easy.  I don’t want us breaking them or the tow rings on the ships.”  Again his orders were carried out, and the crews could feel the ships moving once the slack was taken up.

The ships were not light but the onboard vikings were impressed with how quickly their “dragonpower” got the ships up to full speed and better.  The commanders ordered the sails deployed, easing some of the burden for the dragons and eaking out a little more speed in the process.  The return journey home would likely be more difficult for the dragons, seeing how each ship would most likely be loaded to capacity with passengers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spitelout, with Gobber’s engineering mind, and too many helping hands had managed to salvage and jury rig 4 vessels using still useable parts from the remainder of the 15 longships.  Two with sails would tow another two without canvas.  This unfortunately meant that at least 30 volunteers would have to be left behind until the return journey.

A cheer arose like a wave passing through the viking warriors about to board the four salvaged ships.

“What on Midtgaard is with the uproar?” demanded Spitelout.

Gobber answered him by pointing to the sky.

“So therre are thrree drragon teams who came back? It could take forrever to trransport everryone home by air?” Spitelout growled out.

Then Gobber lowered his finger following the nearly invisible tow ropes down to two more fully sailed ships.  Spitelout looked back up to the dragons, and his chest nearly burst with pride at the site of his son on that flame orange dragon of his leading the way.  Spitelout let out with a cheer of his own.  “Snotlout, Snotlout, oy oy oy!”

Snotlout answered back with, “Jorgensons, Jorgensons, oy oy oy!”

Looking behind him, Snotlout commanded, “Release the ropes!” and four tow lines dropped into the water, the two extra ships now coming in under their own sails and momentum.  Exhausted, the three dragons landed on the shore by Toothless near the first salvaged ships.

Gobber uttered under his breath.  “Oh no.  Now I have to be beholden to these two muttonheads.”

Taking charge once again Spitelout approached the four dragon riders.  “Thank you riders for coming back for us.  It’s a great relief not to have to leave any of our people behind.”  The dragons seemed pretty tired from their exertions, so Spitelout offered them passage on each of the ships.

“That’s okay, dad.  They just need a break.  Better to save the space for the passengers.”  Snotlout replied.

“And Toothless!” Fishlegs spoke up.  “Our dragons can fly, but Toothless is grounded until Hiccup can fix his tail, and recovers from his own injury.”

Snotlout looked a little miffed at the mild mannered teen who made him look small in comparison.  He, however, admitted to himself that if it wasn’t for Toothless and Hiccup, they wouldn’t be here to help in such a wild and unexpected fashion.  “That’s right Fish, and don’t you forget it.”

“Alright everyone, board your ships!” Ordered Spitelout, but all the warriors paused.  “We don’t have all day men --- and women.”  He dared not forget the few Shield Maidens amongst them.  What was going on with everyone?

With unspoken accord, about two dozen warriors took off their helmets and formed an honour guard for the black Night Fury.  The words of Fishlegs and Snotlout had indeed reminded them who had played a huge roll in their salvation.

Gobber walked up to the beginning of the two rows of warriors leading to the first of the two undamaged ships.  Standing in front of the black drake, he removed his helmet, bowed low and like a gentleman, gestured for Toothless to board his ship with a sweep of his arm.  Toothless sat up on his haunches and bringing his right paw up to his lower jaw touched his chin then extended it out in the sign for “Thank you.”

Over the glass calm waters, everyone could hear the fish that broke the water leaping for an insect. The gesture so stunned the crowd, they could hear the insect itself. In the silence of this very timeless moment, Toothless calmly walked by his honour guard to board the ship that would take him home to his boy.  Once he reached his place at the bow, the crowd erupted in cheers and began to board their allotted vessels.

Sign of the Chapter - Rescue: Cross your fisted hands at the wrists, knuckles facing the centre of your chest, then open your arms to end with your wrists and knuckles facing out no wider than your shoulders. This is the sign for "Rescue" and is the same for "Save" as in to save someone.

CHAPTER 31: SHOCK

It took about an hour for her two shoppers to run their errands.

Just as Astrid entered the Haddock home, Hiccup began to awaken.  This time it was pain that had roused him from a deep healing nap.

Astrid deposited the bread in her mother's arms and went right over to Stoick's, now Hiccup's, bed.  Hiccup hollered when Astrid jostled the bed and sat straight up.  In an oddball way Astrid thought that was a good sign.  The water he had drank probably had gone a long way to restoring him. “I'm sorry, Hiccup.” She apologized but with his eyes closed in a grimace of pain, he hadn't seen her.

When he caught his breath he flung the covers from him. He wanted to see why his leg hurt so much, and to relieve the itching in his left foot.  This time his breath caught with a hitch.  Where was his foot and a third of his leg? Groaning Hiccup asked, “What happened to my leg?”

Touching his cheek so he would look at her Astrid apologized again, then she went on to explain,  “We don't really know but I think I can guess what happened.  After you shot down that Red Death, we saw you lose control.  All of a sudden we saw you flying off of Toothless' saddle.  I think the queen's tail must have caught your leg as it fell.  We all actually thought you had burned up in the explosion of her fireball.”

Énjal gasped at the details of Astrid's telling.  Yes, this boy may have the appearance of a Hiccup but no one had dare question his courage in her presence.

“Somehow after we lost sight of you in the flames, Toothless caught and saved you by wrapping you up in his wings.” Astrid finished up.

Astrid’s telling of the events revived Hiccup's recall.

Waving to get her mother’s attention, Astrid asked, “Can you prepare some pain tea for Hiccup please?”

Énjal got right on it, but she really wanted to listen to the rest of the tale. She put the kettle on the hook and out over the hearth fire to boil.  She hadn't missed much as Astrid had given him more water to drink.  Énjal's heart lit up to see Hiccup drinking without any help. Still a little shaky but certainly more able.

“Well, for someone who wasn't with me, your guess was bang on.  Toothless's leather fin was set afire by the queen's last fire blaze. By the time Toothless blew her out of the sky, I had no more control to help him with. We couldn't dodge that tail. Gods, it was so big it felt like we were trying to fly through a canyon. I remember the tail falling at us, but nothing else.”

Stoick walked in with the meat.  Being the Chief, the butcher was only too pleased to offer anything he wanted in gratitude for Hiccup saving Berk from those horrible dragon raids. Though Stoick had had to explain how he’d managed to return so quickly when the rest of the fleet was still out.  Stoick nearly dropped his armful when a softly weeping Énjal embraced him for some comfort.

“What in blazes is goin’ on? One minute she's rready to tearr mah thrroat out, and now she's --- crryin’?” Stoick asked with concern.

“Yeah, about that. My mom isn't your typical Viking woman.  She tends to get a little emotional.” Astrid didn't bother signing this since her mom's face was buried in Stoick's shoulder. “We just told her how Hiccup lost his leg. She didn't hear the worst part yet.” This latter part Astrid signed for Hiccup's benefit.

With a really puzzled look on his face, Hiccup attempted to sign, and speak for his dad forgetting Stoick's ASL vocabulary was basically on par with his thanks to Énjal's private lessons.  “What could be worse?” Hiccup inquired.

Énjal could feel Stoick speaking and turned around to see what Astrid was about to tell Hiccup.

Swallowing a great deal of discomfort Astrid confessed, “When we finally found you, your leg was still attached.  Barely.  I knew there was no way to save it so I had to cut off the rest, and then burn the end of your leg to stop the bleeding.” Astrid was actually petrified that Hiccup would hate her forever with this revelation. She cast her eyes down to hide her tears of grief and braced herself to hear harsh words of rejection.

They didn't come. Instead a hand reached out for hers and incessantly pulled her closer.  It was awkward for Hiccup, but he managed to wrap her in an embrace that lifted her heavy heart.  “You did what you had to do Astrid. Thank you for saving my life. In a way you changed the sacrifice we had to make. Instead of sacrificing my life, I only lost my leg.”

Astrid's tears of remorse changed to those of joy.  Who was this young man who would give comfort when he was so much more in need of it?  “No wonder the gods chose you?” Astrid expressed. She then moved closer to Hiccup forgetting that both their parents were observing them.  She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissed his cheek, nuzzled into his neck and held up a three digit sign in front of his face.  Palm facing him, she held out her thumb, held up her index and pinky fingers, while keeping the two middle fingers folded down.

Énjal gasped with joy.

Stoick was confused on a number of levels. What was this new sign. What had Astrid meant by the gods choosing Hiccup? Why was Énjal crying again but with a ---- smile now?  Actually she was absolutely radiant.  He put his package of meat down on the kitchen counter before he dropped it.

Hiccup too was confused by this new sign and Énjal's reaction to it. It couldn't be a bad thing since Astrid seemed to be holding onto him for dear life.  Since he wasn't in a position to ask Astrid, Hiccup raised his left palm up to make a horizontal circle, then made the new sign with the same hand to ask Énjal, “What means this sign?”

Slapping her forehead with her left palm, Énjal signed to him and the confused looking Stoick. “Men can be so dense sometimes.” The look she gave both males gave them shivers. Énjal's appearance changed from harsh to endearing in a blink of an eye.

Astrid watched her mom, finding this highly amusing. She still held her embrace waiting for her mom's big reveal. That's when she would let go of Hiccup.  She didn't want to miss the expression on his face when he learned what her sign meant.

Énjal had taught her class how to sign what Astrid had with one hand, and one single sign. Perhaps this is why Hiccup and Stoick didn't know this new representation.  Signing directly to Hiccup now, Énjal explained, “Astrid told you---”

Sign of the Chapter - Comfort: Pet the back of each hand once from wrists to finger tips.

CHAPTER 32:  SICK BED

Signing directly to Hiccup now, Énjal explained, “Astrid told you---” and here Énjal made quotation signs with the two first fingers of both hands indicating she was about to repeat what Astrid had told him. She then pointed to herself with her left hand followed by crossing her two fists at the wrists over her heart. Then she pointed to Hiccup.

Stoick smiled broadly. His wish for his son had nearly come true.

Dumbstruck, Hiccup slowly turned to Astrid and fell into two big pools of cerulean.  He mouthed the question unable to find his voice.  You love me?

Excitedly biting her lower lip, Astrid simply nodded eagerly with a big grin on her face.

He had to be dreaming.  This was not possible.  Girls didn't just fall in love with him, let alone the girl he chose to love.  He was a hiccup after all.

Hiccup had to slap his leg to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wasn't dreaming and he howled in pain. He picked the wrong leg to slap.

Énjal jumped not believing her eyes. Why would he slap his own leg. She remembered the boiling kettle and started preparing his pain tea.

Stoick decided his son was also going to need a stiff drink.  Maybe Astrid's confession was too much for him to handle.

After the throbbing in his leg subsided a little, Astrid thanked her mom for the tea, which Stoik had generously spiked with rum. She put it on the bed side table to cool a little.

“Why would you do that you numbskull?” Astrid signed.

Grimacing with leftover pain, Hiccup answered her with, “I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I slapped the wrong leg.”

“Didn't you think pinching was enough?” Astrid asked with a twinkle of merriment in her eyes.

“We're Vikings.  Pinching doesn't cut it.”

Stoik had started to help Énjal prepare their evening meal, but they both caught his ASL explanation and had to smile at each other.

“Astrid?” Hiccup queried.

Smirking Astrid tilted her head to acknowledge him. “What's up?”

“I have a confession to make.” Hiccup had her full attention, but he needed to wet his whistle, so he reached for his tea, and nearly choked.  The tea warmed his insides and not because of the heat.  That was his first taste of any kind of alcohol.  “What kind of tea is that?”

“Your dad thought you needed some rum to help the pain.” Somewhat disappointed Astrid continued, “Was that your confession?”

Well it was a good thing he had gotten better speaking with his hands, or he would have been a stuttering mess, tripping over his own tongue.  “The moment I laid eyes on you I could have sworn you were an angel. And you are.”

Astrid was taken aback by this compliment but she was hoping to see something else. She had to steady her nerves.  Just because she admitted loving this hero of hers, didn't give her the right to expect he would admit the same. Considering his self effacing manner he may not even be able to say it, even if he felt the same for her.

Hiccup carried on. “On only your third day with us I actually beat you to the punch, but I hadn't told you, I told Toothless.”

Now it was Astrid's turn to be puzzled and perhaps a little weirded out. “Told him what?”

Taking a deep breath and raising a very shaky hand he recreated the sign Astrid used on him.

“What? That you love Toothless?  That is one weird confession.” Astrid exhaled in disappointment.  She was trying to be solid and accept the fact that Hiccup didn't care about her the same way. Annoyance was getting the better of her and she moved to get up before she lost her temper.

Hiccup grabbed her wrist before she could get up. This was almost funny how she misunderstood him, but he would get it right this time.  “No! Yes I love Toothless, but as my best non-human friend. What I told him was---” and here Hiccup borrowed several signs from Énjal starting with quotation fingers changing to “I --- love --- you!” On the last word Hiccup touched her on the chest three times just below the hollow of her neck for emphasis. “I was trying to make it clear that I wasn't just returning the favour, but that I truly love you as well.”

Astrid began a mirthful cry with tears of happiness.  “Oh, I'm such an idiot.” And she wrapped her arms around Hiccup again. Planting another kiss on him, then she repeated her single handed sign.

Stoick and Énjal looked at each other with big smiles thinking, “There's my future son/daughter-in-law.”

“Finish your tea.  I'll help with supper. You look exhausted.” Astrid added.

“Ecstatically tired that's all. Where's Toothless?”

Stoick answered him this time with sign.  “By now he should be on his way back to Berk I hope. I sent Snotlout and the rest of your Dragon Riders, with my last two ships in tow, to bring our people back.”

Finishing his tea Hiccup scowled.  “Well Snotlout couldn't foul things up any worse than I did.”

“Son!” Stoick nearly snarled at him and then remembered to use his hands. “No more putting yourself down! You didn't bungle things up. I did. If I had listened to you, none of this would have happened.  You saved us all. From now on, I will listen. We learn from our mistakes.”

“Thanks dad.” Hiccup then signed “I love you.” and passed out.

Stoick chuckled and tapped Énjal on the shoulder, and bobbed his head in Hiccup's direction.

She smiled and punched Stoick in the shoulder.  “I hope he can wake up to eat. How much rum did you make that tea with?”

Stoick had to look at Astrid, who was gape mouthed, for a little interpretation.

Astrid thought to herself So that's where I get that from. She was then able to call up a faint memory of her mom giving her dad affectionate punches for one foul up or another.  Laughing, she told Stoick, “She asked how much rum did you use?

Visibly chuckling Stoick held up his thumb and index finger to indicate about a third of the cup. However, Viking rum tended to be strong.  “He just can't hold his liquor. By the way, thank you for your kindness and helping us both so much.” Énjal had to stop her preparations when Stoick held up his right hand and mouthed “I love you too.” Then he leaned over slightly to give her a tender kiss.

Énjal and Astrid were both stunned.  Astrid managed to break her paralysis first with a very girlish squeal, running to give him a hug.  Énjal’s look of shock turned into a radiant smile. She returned the sign and the kiss.

“And another thing, “Stoick had to add. “I love your cooking. That's one thing Valka was horrible at.”

Astrid burst out laughing when her mother punched her future step dad.  Did I actually just think that? She wondered.  Not before I marry Hiccup. Now where did that come from? Talk about jumping the crossbow.” She dialogued with herself.

The delicious smells of a delightfully delectable savoury meal revived Hiccup again.  Énjal had specially prepared Hiccup's food into bite sized pieces so he wouldn't have to worry about making a mess on the bed trying to cut it.

“Thank you so much Mrs Hofferson.  This is awesome.” Hiccup beamed up at her.  The first helping was so good it just made him hungry for more.  “Can I have more please?”

That was exactly the right thing to say to further win over his future step mom.  Now what is up with that? Hiccup had to ask himself, and then understood why.  Stoick and Énjal seemed even closer than before.

The three healthy bodies all pitched in to clean up the supper aftermath.  With a full and happy tummy, and a fresh batch of pain tea minus the rum, Hiccup dozed off for the rest of the night.

Énjal kissed Astrid and Stoik goodnight and headed to the guest cottage.

It was already quite late and everyone had a long day. Some more than others.  “Goodnight Astrrid. I'll be upstairrs if ye or Hiccup need anythin’.” Stoick informed her. “I know ye've had a long day as well. Don't think ye have to stay awake the whole night.”

“I don't think I could sir, but your chair looks very inviting.”

“Therre arre spare blankets in mah closet if ya need any.” Stoick offered.

“Thank you Papa, -- I - I mean Stoick.” Astrid slipped up there. She must be more tired than she thought. No other comment came from upstairs so perhaps he hadn't heard that.

Astrid decided perhaps she needed a blanket, but when she walked by the bed, certainly easily big enough for two slender people, the allure of the bed won her over.  The loft was completely hidden from view so Astrid removed her armoured shoulder pads, and removed her spiked skirt. She was still modestly dressed with leggings, and her top on. She did want to be as comfortable as possible so she reached under her top and quickly undid the knot of her breast bindings in front, and pulled them out. Now she felt like she could breathe easier.  She slipped under the blankets, but Hiccup's body heat drew her like a magnet so she cuddled closer to him. Perfect.  “Thank you father Odin for such a warm and loving family you brought us home to.” With a sigh of contentment and the feel of Hiccup's warmth to her back, she slept.

As adolescent boys often do, Hiccup dreamed. A vivid dream about the new girl in his life. A young lady so pretty, in his eyes no other could rival her. Her intelligence, her charm and her caring nature outshone even her unmatched beauty.  She was glowing like an angel in the woods they were walking in. Astrid was lighting the way out of his dark and gloomy despair.  Hiccup was so thankful to have her in his life that he reached for her hand to halt her progress. Then taking her other hand as well he slid his hands up her arms to embrace and kiss her. Kiss her he did indeed. Very deeply, his hands holding her shoulders.  Now in dreams things tend to happen without rhyme or reason.

Astrid was woken up by movement beside her. She was startled by unusual surroundings and caught her breath when Hiccup's arm reached over to embrace her shoulder across her chest. She sighed in relief when her recall kicked in and remembered where she was and why.  She warmed to this unexpected embrace and snuggled into him closer. A soft light from the hearth fire revealed his eyes were still closed and she figured he was still sleeping, perhaps even dreaming of her. She smiled at the thought of this, then gasped quietly.

Astrid’s fully clothed shoulder marvelously morphed into her perfectly sized bare breast that just fit the shape of his calloused hand. What a dream and vivid. He'd never before actually touched a girl's breast, but if this how they felt, oh gods, he didn't want to let go. Warm and soft like bread dough perhaps, but a whole lot nicer.

Astrid was surprised to say the least when Hiccup's hand slid to her right breast. She didn't protest right away because she felt a delicious thrill run through her veins she hadn't expected.   It wasn't like Hiccup was squeezing and kneading her. His eyes were still closed, his breathing was still in that shallow state of sleep. He was either still dreaming or really good at faking sleep.  Astrid could now understand how some of her older girl friends from the institute would be tempted to break their vows of chastity.

Now to Hiccup's eyes, Astrid's breast began to clothe itself under his hand.  His breathing began to deepen when he realised there was no change in the sensation under his hand. Then he looked up with sleepy eyes to see Astrid's radiant face lying on the pillow next to his face.  He couldn't help smiling at the dream he still beheld. Then reality blinked in. The room was dark, he was still in his father's bed, but with Astrid? How did this happen? Then he gazed from her eyes down to his left hand, which was resting on---her---Oh my gods!---right---breast! He removed his hand as if he'd tried to pick up red hot pig iron with his bare hand.

“Oh my gods Astrid. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were here. I was dreaming about you and---” groaning in utter embarrassment he quickly curled into a fetal position. With the pounding pulse of his heart, he had become aware of another pulsing in his nether regions, he didn't want Astrid to become aware of.

“Shh shh shh.” Astrid signed.  You'll wake up your dad.  From his reaction, Astrid was actually pleased.  This hadn't just been a ploy on his part for a little touchy feely.

Hiccup groaned again a little too intensely for her liking.  In curling to hide his “embarrassment” he had twisted the bandages of his left leg.  Caressing his cheek to get his attention Astrid asked, “What's wrong Hiccup?”

“My leg is burning and my foot itches terribly.” He answered in a hoarse whisper.  “I must have knocked my bandages loose.”

His statement about the itchy foot confused her, but that would have to wait.  Astrid threw off the covers to take a look at his leg and he tried to snatch them back, before she saw just how much he had been dreaming about her. He needn't have worried since his sudden bout of pain “deflated his ego” sufficiently.

It was also too dark, so Astrid got up to light one of Hiccup's lanterns. For some reason she didn't understand they produced a brighter light than mere candles. Hiccup re-covered his loins before she could come back.

He actually hated feeling dependant on others, but even he had to admit that at the moment he was pretty much helpless. To make himself feel better he was going to enjoy every ounce of attention his beautiful girlfriend would be willing to lavish on him.

“Yes, you did you naughty boy.” Referring to his loosened bandages, but Astrid couldn't resist teasing him for his earlier “affections”.

As she started to change his bandage Hiccup tried to apologize again.

“So you were dreaming about me?” She had to pause to sign.  The lantern light was enough to show Hiccup's delightful blush.

“Umm--- yeah.  Perhaps not in the most innocent way.” He admitted shyly. “Maybe it was all that love talk yesterday.”

“Oh?” Astrid raised a teasing eyebrow. “So you don't love me after all?”

Hiccup was a little afraid to answer that for fear he might be misconstrued.  “No!”

Astrid was enjoying this. “What? Now you don't love me?”

“What? No no no no, I mean yes yes yes yes.” Then Hiccup clued into what she was doing. “Ohhhhh girlfriend, you shouldn't mess around with this much Viking manliness.”

With his legs still exposed Astrid walked her arms up along either side of them causing Hiccup to swallow hard.  He grimaced waiting for a punch but his eyes popped open wide when soft warm wet lips made contact with his. He soaked in every bit of her taste that he could. She broke off the kiss with a soft pop to sit back on her ankles to sign, “I really like the sound of that.”

“Viking manliness?” He puzzled out loud. He got a gentle punch for that failure of astuteness.

“No boyfriend, try again.” Astrid said peevishly.

Hiccup's eyebrows rose up. “Oh. Ohhhh!  Yeah. I like the sounds of both of those too.”

Astrid gave him one more quick kiss and finished cleaning, medicating and bandaging his stump just as she had watched Gothi do. “Do you need more pain tea?” Astrid asked when she finished putting the supplies away.

“Actually no. That ointment of Gothi's goes a long way, as well as an excellent nurse. Thank you milady.” Hiccup expressed with genuine thanks, reverting back to signing and speaking. He had gotten sloppy and had been speaking too much.

“Do you need the necessary?”

Actually he did. He was kind of bursting but he didn't want to impose such an unpleasant task on the new love in his life. “I don't think I could make it to the latrine. It'll have to wait until morning when my dad can help me.”

Astrid went to retrieve the bucket that Stoick had left for that purpose.  “You know Hiccup, loving someone also means doing for them tasks that are unpleasant but needed. We're humans. We need to relieve ourselves. I'm not going to watch you but you can pee in the bucket and I'll empty it in the latrine for you.  You really can't go moving around with such a fresh injury.”

“Thank you so much. I really feel like I'm about to burst.”

“I'll help you move to the side of the bed. I don't want you undoing all my hard work on your bandages.” So Astrid essentially held up his bad leg as he swiveled to the side of the bed. He was still only dressed in skivvies but that didn't bother her. Once he was in position, she walked away to let him do his business.  When he was finished she told him to wait until she could help him back under the covers. Then she got a water bowl to clean his hands with.  When he was settled she took care of the bucket and cleaned her own hands.

To his utter amazement she climbed back in bed with him.  “I don't mind just sleeping with you, as long as you think you can keep your paws off of me.” She signed to him with a smirk.

Hiccup’s dying blush returned with a vengeance. “Alright, but do you really expect me to sleep with the most beautiful girl in the world next to me in bed?”

Before she settled down, despite his smarmy tone of voice, she realized something.  She turned to him, shyly smiling now. “Thank you, Hiccup.” Hiccup could see her eyes begin to water.  “Coming from you that means a lot to me.” As she laid down, she reached for his hand. Placing his arm behind her neck she laced her fingers with his and snuggled into his right side.

Hiccup lightly caressed her temple with a sweet kiss. “I love you Astrid. Sweet dreams milady.” He whispered, but she had already passed into dreams.

Hiccup couldn't fall asleep right away.  He was curious about her reaction and comment to his calling her beautiful. As if someone inserted understanding into his mind he realised why.  Astrid must have had too many people, or boys compliment her for her looks, possibly for not so nice ulterior motives. He, however, didn't just see her outer beauty but her grace that shone from within.  This gave him a peace that allowed him to slumber once again, vowing never to take his girl for granted and to never impose unwanted attentions on her.

Sign of the Chapter - Care: Both hands assume the same "K" shape which is like a peace sign with the thumb in the middle. Placing the dominant "K" hand on the other "K" hand, you make two vertical circles, with the fingers pointing out away from you. It looks a little like when you pretend to ride a horse and you are holding the reigns.

CHAPTER 33: HOMECOMING

The next morning Énjal returned to the Haddock home.  She was a little dismayed to see Astrid sleeping with Hiccup in the bed.

Stoick was sitting quietly in his chair by the hearth, carving away at a wooden dragon. He was inspired by the new and happy events that had transpired.

Stoick looked up to see Énjal's concerned expression. Yes, she had come to love the Haddocks, but she didn't think she was ready to be a grandmother before her daughter was married.  Looking at Stoick she asked, “What is up with that?” and she pointed to the two sleeping teens.

Stoick grinned because he knew how it must look.  Doing his best to sign he explained, “Hiccup had a rough night. Apparently he twisted off his bandage and Astrid took care of him. Very mature young lady you have there, Énjal.” He praised.  “I was keeping an eye on them after I heard the commotion.  There was no funny business.  They are only sleeping.  Lift up the covers and you will see Astrid is still clothed.”

She did trust her responsible young daughter, but for her own peace of mind she had to take a peek.  She knew Hiccup was only in his underwear, yet she was relieved to see Astrid with clothes on.

When she turned to him, Stoick was smiling.  “Told you so. I understand your concern, but I know Hiccup would never give Astrid improper attention, even if she was willing.  We had many discussions about responsible parenting.  As the Chief's son I have tried to make sure he always presents a good example of behaviour.

“Well passion can play havoc with the moral sense of young people.  A number of Astrid's older girlfriend's at the institute found out the hard way.” Énjal retorted..

“I understand. Perhaps I can move a bed from the guest cabin into here, and then she wouldn't feel the need to share my bed.”

Énjal was happier with that suggestion.  She gave her new beau a kiss and started to work her way through Stoick's kitchen to prepare breakfast.  

He had to walk over to her, take her by the shoulders, guide her to a chair and sit her down.  “I didn't bring you to my Island to be my servant.” He had already prepared a pot of tea, so he took out a cup and poured a cup for his new Énjal.  After giving her a kiss in return he took over preparing breakfast.

While she enjoyed her tea, she was actually surprised at how domesticated Stoick was in a kitchen.  Then again, he had never remarried, and raised his son as a single parent. So there should be no surprise after all.

Her gaze drifted to the sleeping teens. She almost wished they were married now. In a way she hated to break up such a beautiful and cute looking pair.

The smell of eggs and smoked boars ham awoke the young couple.

When Hiccup opened his eyes to see Énjal staring at him, he suddenly felt very self-conscious. With a guilt reddened face for sleeping next to this woman's daughter, he tried to squirm away from Astrid.  This of course woke up Astrid.  Tapping Hiccup's shoulder Astrid held up the sign for five and finger spelled “more” and moved closer to snuggle some more.

Between Hiccup's blush of horror and Astrid's little maneuver, Énjal couldn't help laughing out loud.  This of course completely woke up Astrid.  When they both saw the look of dread on Hiccup's face, both Astrid and Stoick joined in on Énjal's laughter.

Once he realised he wasn't in serious trouble, Hiccup timidly laughed as well.  Not being without a sense of humour, he signed.  “Oh sure, laugh at the mostly naked guy next to the really hot babe.”

Énjal's eyebrows shot right up but she and Stoick had to laugh again when Astrid punched him in the shoulder.

Stoick quipped right back. “Ah. Trouble in ‘parradise’ already.  Astrid can you help me out with this one? I don't know the sign ‘forr parradise’.” He asked, resorting  to speech a little.

She quickly finished Stoick's statement laughing at the same time.  Giving Hiccup a quick kiss on the cheek she got out of bed, put her armoured skirt back on, and told them all she was going back to the guest quarters for fresh clothes.

Astrid made a quick trip of it meeting Gothi on the way back to the Chief's lodge.  “How be Hiccup?” Gothi asked her.

“I'd say he was doing very well.  I had to change his bandage last night because he had twisted it partially off.” She decided to speak then interpret, the same way she did for Hiccup, to allow the older woman to observe more signs. Remembering an oddity, she asked Gothi, “Why would Hiccup complain of an itchy left foot when it's missing?”

Gothi silently chuckled. Having learned from Hiccup and Fishlegs, she took out the slate she now carried with her. There was no way she knew enough ASL for a full explanation.  “It's called ghost pain.  The eyes and the thinking part of the brain know the limb is missing, but the part of the brain that tells you when something hurts, itches or how things feel doesn't know that yet.  In time the sensations will fade, maybe even go away. That however can take many years.”

Considering the families of Berk educated themselves through a type of home schooling, Astrid was impressed with Gothi's insightful explanation.

They entered the structure together. The timing was perfect. Énjal handed two plates to Astrid and she took them to the bed to have breakfast with Hiccup.

Gothi tended to Hiccup's leg while he ate, and Astrid, who apparently had an iron stomach, watched how she did things.

“Say Gothi, can you tell me why I feel pain and itching in my left foot, considering it's not there anymore?” Hiccup wondered.

“Ask Astrid.” Was her signed reply.

“So Astrid, are you now a healer too?” Hiccup queried her.

As she was visibly snickering, as she told Hiccup, “Yeah.  I decided to take up another field of study, and you’re my experiment.”  With a lascivious grin she asked him, “Do you want to play healer?”

Hiccup was still feeling uncomfortable in front of his girl's mother over the sharing of the bed fiasco, so he turned a horrible shade of red. Not only that, he lied back down and covered his head with his blanket.

It wasn't often Énjal verbalized, but she had begun sputtering in protest.  Stoick had been following the exchange and burst out laughing, which earned him a hard punch in the shoulder when Énjal noticed Gothi swivel her head to smile at Stoick.

Waving like mad, Astrid appeased her mother by signing frantically, “I'm kidding!  I'm just kidding!”

“You better be young lady! I love Hiccup dearly but you still hardly know each other. I do not want to be a grandmother just yet.” Énjal reprimanded.

Gesticulating wildly to raise her silent voice, “MOTHER!”

Rubbing his shoulder, Stoick couldn't help laughing again.

Pulling on Hiccup's blanket to get his attention, Astrid wanted to explain to him about phantom pain.  Before she could proceed, his hands snuck out from under the blanket and he attempted to sign, “is it safe to come out now?”

Even Énjal had to laugh at her potential son-in-law.  Despite their short courtship at the present time, she now felt this was very likely to happen at some point in the future. Their two families seemed to have such a warm chemistry.

Énjal walked up to where Hiccup was hiding under the covers, loomed over his head and whipped the blanket off his face. Seeing her stern face so close he squeaked in surprise. Énjal could basically read that in his look of shock, then she smiled and kissed him on the forehead.  “Yes, you're safe, you little devil.” she signed down to him.

Tentatively he sat up, clutched the blanket to his chest with his right arm, and with great exaggeration, using his left hand, passed it across his forehead and shook it.  “Phew!”

Gothi finished with her examination and treatment of Hiccup's still fresh stump.  “Let breathe now for two hours. Astrid, you did very good job putting on bandage last night. You can put new dressing on then with ointments.”

Astrid thanked Gothi and walked her to the door.

As she was about to close the door, a lookout blew his horn five times quickly with three long and two short alternating toots.

“Ah, the ships ‘ave rreturrned!” Stoick exclaimed, then repeated himself in Sign, remembering half his current household was now deaf.

Before Stoick walked out the door, Hiccup called out, “Hey Dad, can you allow Toothless to come in.  I really miss him.”

“Son, I will happily let him in. Just try and keep him from busting anything.”

“I can see to that Chief er sorry Stoick.” Astrid offered.  “He knows me as well.  I'll make sure he's nice and calm before he comes in.”

“Thank you, Astrid.” He silently signed, free of an accent.  “Énjal?  Would you care to come with me?” He invited his new gal.

“I should stay and clean up.” She declined.  Astrid stood up and started pushing her mother to the door.  “Go!  I can clean up.  Stoick wants to spend time with you. Go!”

Énjal protested, but rather weakly.  Giving her daughter and Hiccup the evil eye she signed, “No funny business!”

Hiccup covered up again, while Astrid glared at her mother with one hand on her hip, pointing for Énjal to go.

Stoick put his arm out for her to hold, so she happily took it to descend the Haddock residential steps, on there way to greet the home comers.

The dragons had rotated turns, pulling the two ships without sails, allowing one dragon a resting flight periodically.  The acting ships captains of the towed vessels were willing to be pulled by the ships with sails, however none of the dragons were averse to the work on a rotating schedule.  Snotlout had requested not to tow them, but the dragons themselves picked up the lines in their teeth as if insisting on performing this task.  All the Vikings were astonished at their willingness to help out.  It was as if some evil spell on them had been broken.

Toothless’ ship was the first to dock.  Husbands, wives and children cheered the safe return of their warriors and were equally astounded by a majestic spectacle of dragons acting as escorts. Even Stormfly, riderless, joined them.

Someone laughingly yelled, “Night Fury!” when a very excited black dragon started bounding around, knocking vikings here and there in his bid to get off the ship.  Unable to wait for the gang plank Toothless leaped over the gunwale.

Some shouts of fear arose, and weapons were drawn by those more hard nosed, set in their way vikings on shore.  Stoick and Snotlout bellowed to stow their weapons.  Those on the land looked confused to hear one voice approaching from behind, and another from up in the air ahead of them.  The noise of weapons being replaced on backs or in scabbards arose as they gawked up to see four dragons descending, three with four of their own Hooligan children riding on their backs.

The landlubbers were even more astounded when most of the seasoned warriors of the ships came and thanked, patted, or embraced all these dragons as they proceeded to go and greet their slack jawed families and spouses. They heard explanations like, “Those drragons are grreat.”; “They saved oor lives.”; “Brrave beasties those.”; “They rrisked theirr lives to save oors without battin’ theirr eyes.” Much to the great joy of the dragons, who all crouched low to permit this attention, several warrior parents invited their families to come and pet the dragons. “ye no longer ‘ave to be afrraid o’ them.” One Papa reassured his children, as did several warrior Mamas.

Énjal broke from Stoick's side to walk amongst the dragons in wonder and delight. Thrilled at their purrings as she caressed them. This evoked a strong memory in Stoick.  So different and so alike, his two favourite ladies. Unfortunately it also brought back fear.  Arre we trruly safe amongst drragons now, as long as that madman is still alive out therre?

From the window, Astrid was able to observe the homecoming spectacle. It was unfortunate that Hiccup's injury was so fresh. They simply couldn't chance him hopping around right now, or blood pressure may aggravate the wound into bleeding again, cauterized or not. The burning was an injury all its own.  

Hiccup didn't really mind.  Watching Astrid describe the scene in ASL gave him a real splendid opportunity to see how beautiful sign language was.  Like a ballet of the hands.  It also gave him a chance just to absorb her stunning beauty without feeling self-conscious about it.  After all he really had to look at her in order to communicate.

“Hold that thought.” Astrid proclaimed.

He sure would.

“Toothless is charging up the hill.  I have to run interference.” And Astrid vanished out the door.  

He hadn't quite caught all of that but he could guess when he saw the sign for Toothless.

Astrid ran out waving her arms in the air to make sure she had the black dragons attention. Even as she did this, she thought it would be a brilliant idea to actually teach Toothless and the other dragons some sign language.  When in flight the noise of rushing air can make vocal communication difficult if not impossible.  So Astrid started signing to Toothless and explained why. First she verbalized, and then interpreted what she said, just like she was doing with Hiccup but in reverse order.

“Now Toothless, the house is big enough to accommodate you, but it's not big enough to let you bounce around.  We also have to be very gentle with our boy. I don't know if you realise it, but Hiccup lost the lower part of his left leg. His hurt is still fresh so we can't jostle him around.”

Toothless nodded in comprehension.

Astrid opened the large double door, and Toothless just managed to clear his way through the portal with his wings tightly folded to his body.  He still managed a squirmy kitten like prance of excitement, but he limited his excitement to this expression of joy, as he approached Hiccup's bed of recovery.

“Toothless!  Am I happy to see you!” Hiccup's enthusiastic greeting nearly sent Toothless bouncing around the house. He still ended up leaping to the bed in two bounds, ending with a sound licking of Hiccup's face and torso. “Uhhg! I know you miss me buddy, but I didn't need a dragon sponge bath.”

Astrid couldn't help sniggering.  Toothless as a dragon strangely had the the mannerisms of a cat and a dog. The love and loyalty of dog, and the excited playful nature of cat.  Astrid deftly evaded Hiccup's fling of dragon slobber this time around.

Once his exuberance died off, Toothless started sniffing Hiccup from head to toe to see what he could find of injuries. He could determine no other hurts to his boy, but losing a limb was serious. Sniffing the boy’s stump now, he didn't like the sickly smell.  The girl and maybe two others had treated him, but they had not the noses of dragons. Unseen to his Hiccup, Toothless tickled a particular spot in his mouth with his tongue, then with great gentleness Toothless again licked Hiccup, but the stump of his leg this time.  

Gritting his teeth Hiccup was momentarily afraid.  “Hey bud, be careful okay?  I was supposed to let that breathe for half the morning.”

Toothless wondered why he smelt fear from his boy. Then his boy wouldn't know why he was applying his own ministration to his injury. With his own mouth no less.

Suddenly Hiccup sighed with great relief.  “Hey Astrid!” And Hiccup waved her over as well.  “My leg feels way better, and that itching in my phantom foot has even gone.”

“Really?!” Astrid replied in wonder.  Could there be some healing property in dragon saliva, or at least Night Fury slobber they couldn't have anticipated?  “When your pain or itch flares up again, we'll ask Toothless to repeat his treatment just to make sure it's not some fluke.  I'll bet Gothi would be really interested in this phenomena.”

“Now won't that be something?” Hiccup answered back. “Thanks Healer Toothless. That's actually very soothing.”

Toothless nudged his hand and purred a You're welcome. Hiccup scratched his head all over, the drake groaning in delight.

Sign of the Chapter - Family: Start with two "F" shaped hands by holding all your fingers up, and then closing the index finger tips to the thumb tips to make small loops. Just below your chin, hands facing out, touch the two small loops together then circle both hands out from you bringing the baby fingers together, as if circling your family in a big hug.

CHAPTER 34: ENGAGEMENTS

Much to Astrid's disappointment, and Hiccup's, Stoick had indeed kept his word to Énjal by bringing Astrid’s bed to his main floor.

Both teens did recognize the wisdom of that. Hiccup wasn't really thinking of “that” because he never wanted to do anything to foul up his bond with Astrid.  Astrid hadn't expected how comforting and how potentially tempting it was to be in Hiccup's bed and arm all night.  Both having come to the realisation there indeed was a supreme deity, also didn't want to chance upsetting this god with any inappropriate activities before either of them married.  Although they still had only known each other a short time, they both secretly hoped it would be to each other.  Still though, it would be good to take time to get to know each other better.  

Little did they know their private hopes may not be as far off as they had thought. In the Great Hall a private meeting was in progress. In attendance were Stoick the Vast, Énjal Hofferson, Gobber, Gothi, Spitelout and Phlegma.

Stoick stood up to address those he had assembled before him.  Since Énjal was present, he did his best to include her in the dialogue. He would not mislead her, so if she needed things cleared up later he would do so alone or with Astrid.  “I have asked ye here ta witness mah prroposal forr a contrract of marriage ta be drrawn up forr mah son Hiccup, ta the daughterr of Énjal Hofferrson here.” Énjal gasped. Was he serious? “Ye are also herre to witness mah negotiations with Énjal.” He was serious.  “Énjal Hofferson, arre ye willin’ to give Astrrid's hand in marriage to mah son Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, if she be willin’?” Énjal signed and nodded immediately, only because of Stoick's ending to that question. “If she be willing?”. Thus giving Astrid some control of choice in the matter.  “How much does Astrrid owe the institute forr her education?”  

Énjal hesitated. They had been forced to live off the remains of her own bride price, given to her as an inheritance from her own parents, from long ago, and what meager savings she and Axel had managed to save. Even then, she had to dip into Astrid's education fund now and again to make ends meet.  Despite a scholarship granted by the institute, Astrid still owed two thousand gold marks.  With shame faced reluctance she wrote down the figure.  She had yet to teach Stoick large numbered figures.

Stoick continued, “Then Énjal, herre is what I prropose ta offerr ye as the brride prrice.  Payment of Astrrid's tuition in full, plus interrest. This as a rrewarrd for rriskin’ her life in helpin’ ta save mah people of Berrk. Payable immediately. I will arrange dirrect payment. This will be done rregardless of whetherr or not oor childrren marry.”

Tears immediately welled up in Énjal's eyes. Astrid's words upon the acceptance of her contract with this great man came back to her. “Oh mom, the Chief seems like such a good and generous man.” Énjal now thought that was a serious understatement.

Stoick's generosity did not end there. “I also offerr you an additional 10,000 gold marrks payable immediately rregardless of a marriage outcome.”

Énjal was starting to have a hard time breathing. He couldn't be serious, until a bag of Gold was plopped down in front of her by Spitelout's hand.

“Upon theirr actual marriage, if that is theirr outcome, ye will rreceive an additional 20,000 gold marrks just for yerself.”

This last statement confused her.   Gobber handed him a small box.  Stoick stood up, and Spitelout moved out Énjal's chair where Stoick walked around the table to.  He went down on one knee, opened the box that held a beautiful gold and Sapphire rimmed betrothal armband.  “Énjal Hofferrson. Frrom the day I laid eyes on ye, I had told myself if I hadn't been married, I would have been courrtin’ ye. You werre there forr me and my son at a most trragic time. I had come to love you even beforre my---wife---had been---rreturned.” Stoick choked up.

Énjal reached out to cup his cheek, and signed, “I love you.”  This was something she had actually attempted to speak as well.  She had had her husband, Axel, of many years ago, patiently try to teach her to speak this one lone phrase, so she could always tell her hearing daughter.

Silently at first, Stoick signed “Énjal, will you marry me?” Then because he had witnesses he spoke aloud, “Énjal Hofferrson, will ye marry me and be my brride?” and handed over his betrothal gift.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she signed. “But if I accept, then our children can't marry.”

A big smile formed on Stoick's face. He signed and spoke for the benefit of all. “That is why I offerred ye the contrract for Astrrid and Hiccup firrst. If they are betrrothed beforre us, even as an open betrrothal, then oor marriage does not interferre with their possible future marriage.”

Énjal jumped into Stoick's arms kissing him all over his face ending with one long pucker on his mouth.  She then stood up looking down with a cherished grin, she signed one very big slow exaggerated “Yes”.

Stoick jumped up like a teenager, picked up this not unsubstantial woman like a feather, swirling her around, shouting in delight,  “She said yes!” Énjal didn't have to hear for she could feel his elation as he spun her around.

Sign of the Chapter - Treasure as in Cherish: Dominant palm facing in, form an open claw shaped fist in front of your chin, then as you pull your hand down in front of your neck tighten your hand into a fist, putting on a warm smile.

CHAPTER 35: CONFINEMENT

Boredom wasn't too bad of an ordeal, only three days into Hiccup's recovery. Despite being bedridden he had several things to occupy his time.  He had ASL lessons twice a day. Once in the morning after breakfast and again in the evening after the evening meal when Stoik was able to attend. For this reason Hiccup's "signabulary" had increased prolifically.  Astrid was greatly relieved that he had finally had his opportunity to learn his finger spelling.

Hiccup really enjoyed his lessons with Énjal who was now positively glowing; what was up with that? She made his lessons fun. Hiccup didn't think the already joy filled mother of his girl could possibly be any happier, but she was, and it always rubbed off on Hiccup, raising his spirits. His ex-grumpy father, seemed to have had a complete personality change. He was no longer belligerent, way more patient, and despite his age seemed to have found a whole new vitality.  He was certain Énjal had something to do with that.  

Toothless also attended Hiccup's ASL lessons, on Astrid's request.  The intelligence of this dragon flabbergasted Stoick, as well as that of the other dragons. Hiccup was still feeling his blood loss and continued to sleep a fair amount. When he slept, Astrid took her Stormfly to the arena to meet up with the other riders.  That's when she could teach them and their dragons ASL with her mother’s blessing. Hiccup was never left completely alone.  

One day Stoick stopped in at the academy with the idea of replacing the heavy metal doors of the dragon pens to those of simple wooden slats. The metal they needed for other things, and now the dragons were no longer a threat.  This had been Stoick's first observation of Astrid's lessons to the teens, but he was amazed that the dragons were attentive as well.  He also had to blink several times when the teens made requests of their dragons in ASL, and they complied.  Most of them. Snotlout had the tendency to boss his Monstrous Nightmare around as if it were a dog. When that happened his dragon tended to do the opposite of what was “demanded” until Astrid reminded him to use his manners. Stoick chuckled when Snotlout would add “please” to his command and then by miracle of miracles Hookfang would honour his request. It made Stoick wonder who was the more intelligent of the two.

Astrid spotted her mom's number one guy and shouted, “Hello, Chief Stoick!” Even though she had his blessings to use his name, in front of the others she remained formal. She felt the need to lead by example, and show proper deference to the leader of Berk. He was an excellent leader in her opinion, so he deserved the respect.

“Ah, lass, looks like ye arre makin’ excellent prrogrress with yer lessons I see.”

Astrid smiled for the compliment. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Just how much do you think oorr new frriends underrstand?”

Astrid's answer surprised Stoick despite his own observations. “Actually I think most if not all of what we are teaching them. They are very smart, Sir. Smarter than I think we ever gave them credit for.  Now that we can interact with them on a friendlier basis, it's really showing.  I don't necessarily think they are as intelligent as people but I would say darned close, and surprisingly loyal. Despite Snotlout's rude treatment of Hookfang, I have no doubt Hookfang would be there for him when needed.”

Stoick chuckled over Astrid's comment about the bull headed son of Spitelout. “ye'rre doin’ a grreat job, Astrrid. Please keep it up. The people of Berrk arre still gettin’ used to seein’ drragons arround on a peaceful basis. I'm surre some might even still be frighten’d o’ them. The morre good examples they see the better.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

“Now Astrrid, what did I tell you about callin’ me---” Stoick hesitated when he saw Snotlout eavesdropping on them.  “Actually, can I make a rrequest o’ the drragons?”

“Go right ahead sir.” Astrid curiously approved.

Stoick approached the four dragons and cleared his throat despite the fact he was going to try this in Sign.  Old habits die hard.  “I would like to thank you all for helping to save my village, and my son. Could I ask you for more help?”

Astrid grinned in pride at what happened next.  All the dragons, except the bipedal Deadly Nadder, sat up on their haunches and made their dragon equivalent sign for “Yes.”  Stormfly nodded.

Surprised, Stoick needed a few moments to formulate his request. “Could I ask you, please, to move some lumber, to my ship yards?”

The dragons looked a little confused so Astrid clarified. “Excuse me Chief. They are still learning. Try this one.” And she whispered in his ear a different phrase.

“Could you move some cut trees to my ship yard please?”

In a very human mannerism all the dragons opened their mouths as if to say “ah” then nodded and signed “Yes” again.

“Well I'll be!” Stoick whispered in astonishment. Remembering to set a good example Stoick then signed, “Thank you. I will leave instructions with Snotlout here as to where to collect those cut trees.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the dragons and riders, minus Astrid, arrived to collect the lumber, the woodcutters had only begun, with only three trees having been felled.  

Snotlout had not been a happy camper about that. Well he wasn't brawny for no reason and when the work interested him he pitched in. He grabbed his own axe and got to work applying his own destructive urges to a tree.  “Come on you lazy louts, help out here or we'll be here for the next two weeks.”

The other teens joined in. Reluctantly even Tuffnut and Ruffnut.

The dragons looked at the work crew, surprised at how ineffectual these humans were at cutting down trees. They knew they used them to make their floating islands with, but it must take a long long time. The dragons appeared to have a conference of their own, then Stormfly flew off to the east as she was riderless at the moment.

The dragons hunkered down for a short nap.  About an hour later and maybe five more felled trees, Stormfly returned with a Timberjack following her.  This dragon was considerably larger than Hookfang with a wingspan of about sixty paces.  The leading edge of their wings were razor sharp and harder than iron.  With a warning screech from Stormfly, the dragons on the ground herded away the humans to a safe place. The body of the Timberjack was also very low profile. He flew in low at the copse of trees the humans had been working on, and in a single pass this dragon sliced down about two hundred good sized softwood pines, leaving only knee high stumps behind, averaging an arm width in diameter.  The Timberjack wheeled around for a slow pass by and was amazed to see the humans signing and shouting “Thank you” to him, just as the Deadly Nadder had promised.  Perhaps this really was the beginning of peace between dragons and mankind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the late afternoon, Stoick decided to check on the progress of the ship yard lumber stock.  He had to slap his face to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Both racks were full to capacity. It usually took a month or two to restock them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gothi stopped in to check on her patient.  What she saw astounded her.  It had only been a week since Hiccup's amputation, and already he was in the early stages of skin growth and very little scabbing associated with the puss of healing burns.

Gothi's sign language skills were also coming along quite nicely. “How is it you are healing so well and so fast?” She asked.  Even in her best case scenarios, her amputees usually all had to deal with mild fever, and infection to some degree or another. “How is your ghost pain?”

Hiccup opted to sign back in reply, giving him and Gothi more practice.  “No pain. No itching. No phantom pain either. It's amazing what a little dragon slobber can do?”

Gothi raised her eyebrows not knowing if she understood correctly. So she signed “dragon”, mimed licking her wrist and ended with the question mark sign. Then she looked over at the jars of ointments she had supplied his nurses with, and there may have only been three days worth used up. She looked back to Hiccup who had been waiting for her to see his answer.

“Yes. It actually started feeling better right after Toothless' first ‘treatment’.  When he came to see me after the homecoming.  He sniffed all over me as if he was examining me. He made a sour face when he sniffed my stump. That's when he gave it a lick. At first I was afraid he was tasting me---”

Hiccup had to pause there because, suddenly, Gothi looked at Hiccup's faithful companion, lying on the floor next to his bed. The smile on the healer’s face told him Toothless must be laughing. Gothi confirmed it when she pointed to the drake and made the sign for “laughing”.  

Hiccup continued, “So after he ‘tasted’ me, my leg felt a whole lot better.

“Just the one time?” Gothi asked.

“Twice a day.  Toothless makes a very good nurse. He actually tells whoever is on duty when to change my bandage, and that's when he treats or cleans it. Then we leave the bandage off for a bit to let my stump dry.”

Gothi creeped out Hiccup a little when she sat on his bed and leaned down to smell his stump. She detected an odd spicy odour. Not fishy at all like she expected. Then she leaned down and asked Toothless to lick her hand which he willingly did. She smelled her hand but it didn't smell the same. A fishy odour was present. Gothi knew Astrid had been teaching the dragons ASL as well, so she asked Toothless if she could look into his mouth. He nodded and opened his mouth. “It's too dark here Toothless. I will get a lamp.” She signed to him. She didn't have time to move when Toothless lit up his mouth with a soft blue white glow which nearly frightened the little old one.  There was little heat since the dragon had exceptional control of his flame and Gothi lost her fear quickly. She looked around and identified saliva glands under his tongue and the back of his cheeks much like those of people. Then she looked to the roof of his mouth to see two different kinds of glands. She delicately touched near one of the orifices and it squirted a clear fluid onto her finger. She smelled it, finding the source of the spiciness. She rubbed it over her arthritic knuckles and was amazed at the relief she felt. “Thank you Toothless. Can all dragons do this?”

The dragon signed “Yes” but shook his head no.

“Can some dragons do this?” Toothless signed “Yes.”

Turning to Hiccup, Gothi explained her discovery. “Keep this to yourself or the whole world may wish to exploit the dragons.  However, may I have permission to call on your dragon, or the other healing dragons in cases of dire emergency?”

“Gothi, I know some people think I'm some kind of dragon master. Permission is not mine to give. You only need ask the dragons, just like you did when you asked Toothless if you could look in his mouth.”

Gothi smiled. “For one so young, you are very wise, and brave. You will make an excellent Chief one day. I hope I live to see the day.”

Hiccup smiled reluctantly. He was happy for the compliment but didn't believe he had what it took to be a Chief. Would the members of the Hooligan tribe even want a deaf Chief? He didn't think so.

Gothi finished her visit with some final instructions. “Let Toothless continue with his treatment when he feels it necessary. No more bandages unless you feel too sensitive and then maybe only a pillow under the leg will be needed. I think in another week’s time you may be allowed to start using crutches. I will come back in a week's time to reassess your leg. If anything changes for the worse, let me know right away, but the leg looks much better than I could have hoped for.”

“Thanks for the good news Gothi. We'll see you then.” Hiccup happily replied in farewell.

Sign of the Chapter - Woods: Use the dominant hand to create the sign for tree. Lay the secondary arm horizontal to represent the ground. Place on it the dominant elbow with the open five shaped hand in the air and twist it slightly back and forth. This is tree. Slide the tree sideways to indicate more than one tree. "Woods" which is the same as "Forest".

CHAPTER 36: CABIN FEVER

Having told Hiccup he only had another week to wait for crutches, may not have been a good thing.  Now he seemed more anxious and impatient than before. His isolation was getting to him despite the frequent company of his visiting friends, and warm family atmosphere now in the Haddock household.

Gobber had stopped by after Gothi had consulted with him about making crutches, and a pegleg for Hiccup.  He stopped in for a visit and tea with the clan, took some measurements of Hiccup's legs. “So I can get to worrk on yer new leg.”

Toothless looked up at the stalky barbarian as if to say. You can do that too? Then Toothless lowered his gaze to Gobber's wooden leg, and disappointedly thought, certainly not as sophisticated as the new tail Hiccup had made for me.

An awful thought occurred to Toothless and Hiccup as well.  How could they fly again if Hiccup didn't have a left foot to operate the left foot pedal with? He had needed a working ankle to change the tail fin positions by changing the angle of the left stirrup.

One day after dragon training, Astrid came home to have lunch with her very surly boyfriend.  “Hey? What's wrong with you?”

Hiccup's stubborn Viking nature was coming through loud and clear. He felt like he was a burden, and didn't want to trouble Astrid with his problems.  “Nothing.” He grunted.  This was exactly the wrong approach to take with Astrid, if he really wanted to keep her out of the loop.

Astrid had gotten the sense over the last few days that Hiccup was becoming more frustrated, and for some reason this had gotten worse after Gobber's last visit. She did want him to open up to her so now it was time to pull out her feminine wiles.

Astrid stomped on the wooden floor to get Hiccup's attention and when he looked up she began a sultry walk over to the right side of his bed. Hiccup gulped. He had never seen her walk like that before, and was it ever nice to oggle.

Hiccup was now better dressed. With his leg having improved so nicely he was able to wear trousers again. He was going to cut the left pant leg off until Astrid had showed him how to tuck it in and up the inside.

Once she reached the bed Astrid gracefully sat next to and facing him.  She leaned over his lap with her right arm and tenderly stroked his cheeks with the fingers of her left hand.  “Come on you big baby boo,” and she leaned in for a long lingering kiss. When she broke it off she finished with, “you can tell Astrid anything. Remember, she loves you.”

Holy dragons! Hiccup gasped to himself. Who was this vixen? And can I have more?!  Hiccup nodded and mumbled to Astrid “Uh-huh.”

Grinning, Astrid fingerspelled “Uh-huh, what?” Her magic worked and her little performance lifted Hiccup out of his silent mode.

“I can't seem to think of a way around the foot control problem for Toothless' tail fin. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of a safe way to operate a left tail fin with a right foot. Any kind of crossover cable would just cut into his tail.”

Laughing, Astrid exclaimed with Sign, “Is that all?  Who says you have to limit yourself to a foot control? Your left handed. Why not a hand control?”

Shouting with glee, “You're a genius!” Hiccup embraced Astrid with a passionate kiss of his own.

It was Astrid’s turn to be left breathless.  “That's more like it.” She both sighed and signed at the same time.

“Are you sure you weren't an inventor in a previous life?”

“Whoa there big boy. I only made a suggestion. You're the one who has to make it work. Feel better now?”

He did, so he grabbed and kissed her again to prove it.

“Ahem!” Stoick cleared his throat making both teens squeal in guilty embarrassment. “In brroad daylight? At least I caught ye beforre any clothes came off.”

“Uh, I'm sorry Chief. Hiccup was feeling down and I thought I'd cheer him up.” Then Astrid realised how bad that sounded and her delicate pale skin turned bright pink.

Bellowing in laughter Stoick asked, “Did it work?”

Hiccup was enjoying this. He was the one who usually got embarrassed.

Timidly Astrid answered, “Yes, I think so, sir.”

Stoick waved her over to him and he gave her a warm embrace. With his arms full of Astrid, he had to speak to her. “What did I say about callin’ me chief, orr Sir, when we arre all togetherr? I love you, Astrrid, like the daughter I wish I had. I rreally wanted morre childrren but we have to take what life gives us as well.” Stoick finished by kissing both her cheeks.

This time Astrid didn't want to help it.  “Thank you, Papa.”

Stoick squeezed her a little tighter for he couldn't believe how the sound of that word lifted his own spirits.  He cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes to make it look like he was pinching the bridge of his nose.  In sign Stoick added, “Now I don't mind if you two get affectionate but don't let it get to the point of removing your clothes.”

Both Hiccup and Astrid groaned out “Dad!” Astrid and Hiccup looked at each other and all three had a really good laugh over that.

Énjal came back from teaching her ASL class to see the teens again sleeping together. It didn't bother her this time as they were fully clothed and it was still daylight. So she just began to make supper.

Astrid slyly opened one eye and had been surprised her mother hadn't raised a protest. Hiccup and Astrid thought they would play a trick on her mother just to see her reaction.  It probably would have worked better if they had climbed under the covers, but they weren't that suicidal.

Astrid got out of the bed to take over from her mother.  She was in the mood to show off her own cooking skills and this surprised her mother a little. So they swapped roles and Énjal helped her daughter out. Astrid wanted to show her love of Hiccup in another way. She wanted to impress on him her ability to handle domestic chores as well as prepare meals. She wasn't sure why because she knew she would never be the barefoot and pregnant homebound type. Nevertheless she also imagined getting married and raising children. If Hiccup was anything like his dad, he was then no chauvinist expecting his wife to stay home at his beck and call.

Hiccup had asked Astrid to get his sketchbook from upstairs.  As Astrid and her mother prepared the meal, Hiccup was a little surprised Astrid had taken over.

While he worked on his new control system design for Toothless’ tail fin, he would glance up every now and then to observe his girl at work in the kitchen. He knew Énjal was a fabulous cook, but judging by the stomach growling aromas coming from the cooking space today, Astrid might be just as good.

Stoick walked through the door after a hard day in the shipyard and signed, “Oh Énjal, you have to stop spoiling me like this. I'm going to grow into a whale!”

“Fat chance of that. I see you working three times harder than anyone else out there. You just burn it off.” And she had to squeeze his beefy biceps just to prove it.  “Tonight's dinner is not of my making, my dear Stoick. Something has motivated my daughter to take a turn in the kitchen.” Énjal then winked and tilted her head toward Hiccup. Silently as to not tip off either teen, Stoick smiled and nodded his head.

Hiccup had not been disappointed. Nor had his father. They both gave Astrid the greatest compliment of asking for seconds and thirds, though Hiccup may have been trying to force his third helping down.

“Oh, milady that was so delicious, I think I ate too much.” Hiccup complained happily. “Someone needs to invent stretchy pants.”

“No unbuckling your pants in front of my daughter.” Énjal warned. Astrid gave her mother a dirty look and the two male buffoons couldn't restrain their laughter.

Hiccup finally realised Énjal was actually happy that he and her daughter had connected so well.

“So son, what did you do with rest of your afternoon?” Stoick asked as he prepared mead for everyone.  Énjal liked mead just fine but she looked skeptically at Stoick when he offered a mug each to Astrid and Hiccup. “What? It will be good for Hiccup's blood. I'm not going to keep refilling their mugs.” Énjal nodded in approval of that. “I'll keep refilling yours, so I can take advantage of you later.

As if the younger couple had choreographed it they covered their eyes and ears yelling out, “Blah blah blah too much information!”

Giving Énjal a quick kiss Stoick tipped his head in the direction of their kids and signed. “Isn't payback great?”

Like some other hearing people she had seen, Énjal clapped her hands together and laughed.

It was actually the first taste of mead Astrid or Hiccup ever had. His second taste of alcohol of course. Hiccup was surprised that alcohol could taste so different from one beverage to another. He did sip it slowly at first. The first taste was a little odd but it seemed to him to get better with each mouthful. Still he was in no hurry to drink it quickly on a stomach that was still achingly full.

Astrid tested it as well and decided she liked it right away but sensibly drank it slowly.

Answering Stoick's question, Hiccup explained, “I worked on a new control system design for Toothless' tail fin. It was actually Astrid's brilliant idea!” He enthusiastically gave her the credit.

Astrid held up her hand. “All I did was make a suggestion. He has the fun of trying to make it work.”

Stoick was now genuinely interested in seeing what his son had come up with. Taking his mug over to the bed he sat beside Hiccup to look at the new design.

The design Hiccup showed him looked like something that could have been from the future. Of course the technical language Hiccup used was way over Stoick's head, but his son’s enthusiasm kept him riveted. The new hand control looked like a stick or a rod coming out of a flat base. All around it were eight different arrows in as many different directions. “The position of the stick will determine which direction we can fly in. Left is for a left turn, right is for a right turn. The only backward thing about it will be that I pull it back when we need to climb. And I push it forward for a dive. That's because of how the pull of the earth affects me in the saddle.  The other in-between positions are to combine turns with climbs or dives. It should actually be even better for control than my old foot pedal.”

Hiccup hadn't noticed when Astrid sat beside him on the other side of the bed.  When he had finished his explanation, she reached for his chin, turned his face in her direction and gave a him a wonderful mead tasting kiss. Of course she had to sign, “See, I told you it was in here.” And she tapped his head with her finger.

Stoick smiled at Énjal. Day by day he could swear they were coming closer to the day Hiccup would propose. Helheim, Astrid might beat him to it.

Sign of the Chapter - Joystick: Place the dominant hand fist on the palm of the other flattened hand, and wiggle the fist around as if controlling a joystick.

CHAPTER 37: RE-CREATION

With great jubilation from Hiccup, Gothi gave him the all clear for getting out of bed with crutches only.  Astrid was very aware how weak someone could become after a two week stay in bed, so she stayed right next to Hiccup, as did Toothless on his other side.

Hiccup knew he had lost strength between blood loss and a prolonged stay in bed, but he hadn't expected to feel as weak as he did. Again he felt frustrated but didn't want to show his weakness to Astrid.

“Hiccup? I can tell you're upset. Don't be. I'm here for you.” Astrid corrected herself when Toothless whined and nudged Hiccup very gently.  “We are here for you. You have been so patient and you only have to be patient a little longer. Everyday you will get stronger.”

“Uh, yeah. I know. I just hate feeling like a burden.” Was Hiccup's strangled response.

Astrid bit back a little.  “You're only a burden to me when you talk like that, so stop it or I'll have to punch you. Then you'll fall down and we'll have to start all over again.”

Toothless had to catch Hiccup when he started laughing. When he caught his breath he first said to Toothless, “Thanks bud.” Then to Astrid. “Did I ever tell you that I love you?”

“Yes, but a lady never gets sick of hearing it from her man.” She leaned in for a kiss.  “Let’s try again.” She signed.

This time he was determined to make it around the room, not for himself, but for Astrid and Toothless. He was more motivated by doing so for those he loved, than for himself. For that same reason he was determined to stop selling himself short. If his dream girl could come to love him, then by Thor he would start to love himself as well. Not in a narcissistic way but in a healthy way.

He managed two laps and collapsed on the bed.  “We'll do it again this afternoon, alright? I'll go for three laps next time.”

“Way to go tiger, and here's your reward.” Astrid signed with a smooch.

“Ahhhh, those lips are so sweet. What do I get for five laps?” Hiccup inquired hopefully.

“A punch in the shoulder for overdoing it.” Hiccup pouted, causing Astrid to laugh. She kissed him again. “That's for being more like your loveable old self again.”

“Thank you, Astrid. I really do love you.”

Kissing Hiccup one more time she answered him with, “I told you your lady never gets sick of hearing that. I love you too or I wouldn't put up with your yak dung.” She winked, and he chortled.  “I have to take care of a few chores. Do you need anything while I'm out?”

“Yeah. Ask Gobber if he could blow twenty of the lantern glasses. That's all the door winkers are needing.  Then I'll have something productive to do after they’re ready.”

Astrid signed “okay”, and blew him a kiss.

Hiccup was even more determined now to rebuild his strength. He needed to get back into the forge. Gobber was an excellent blacksmith, but Hiccup actually surpassed him in one aspect of smithing. Fine detail work, which was needed for making his “Joystick” control.  As good a name as anything else since it would allow him to experience the joy of flying again with Toothless, Stormfly, and Astrid.  He sighed and thanked Father Odin for bringing her into his life.  He would do what exercises he could do in bed. Push ups, lift metal bars or hammers. Chin ups once he was stable enough on his crutches to get to something to pull up on. He started with the pushups that he could do in bed and nearly cried.  Five was all he could manage. Yup, he felt like a hiccup now. Well, then he would just do five at a time, three or four times a day.

In the meantime he would honour Astrid's request and create for her a diagram of the ASL Finger Spelling Alphabet.

Hiccup and Astrid also enjoyed their evenings together by finishing and packaging up the Door Winker units for the Scholars Institute.

A determined Hiccup, with his supportive Astrid and Toothless, managed to forgo his crutches after a month of physiotherapy.

Not long after he had received his crutches, Gobber had brought him a peg leg he never would have expected.  It was made of metal connected to a wooden cup shaped fitting for his stump. The foot of the leg, a thick L shaped metal plate, slid into a channel cushioned by a spring. “Thank you Gobber.” Hiccup signed. He had gotten so used to signing now, he forgot to speak to hearing people on occasion.  Since Gobber was the only active Blacksmith in town he had been kept too busy to learn any ASL.  Good thing Astrid was there to interpret since Hiccup was too enthralled with his new leg and foot, to notice Gobber's confused face.

“What do ya think o’ that little Hiccup flarre I thrrew in?” Gobber asked.

Astrid had to nudge Hiccup's shoulder.

“Huh, what?

“Gobber asked you what you thought of the little Hiccup flare he threw in?” Astrid interpreted.

Hiccup made an exaggerated examination of his new leg. Pursed his lips and nodded his head. “Hmm, I might make a few tweeks.”

Astrid punched his shoulder and he laughed.  “It's great Gobber.  Thanks again.”

Gobber pointed to Astrid, “I like her. She keeps ye humble.”

Astrid always felt a little embarrassed when she had to interpret about herself, but she did so anyway.

“Don't go crrazy with that leg. Use some rrags forr paddin’, even then it will take time for yer stump to toughen up. Use yer crrutches along with the leg.”

When Astrid finished this interpretation, Hiccup replied, “Yes, good and honorable master of my blacksmithing trade. But seriously Gobber, I really appreciate your help. I will follow your advice. You have had to go through this yourself, so I will heed your advice.”

“Just think boyo. Now you can join in with the the stump parrade celebrrations!” And Gobber skipped out the door singing one of the awful stump parade songs.

When Astrid finished Gobber's last statement she had to ask, “Is he for real?”

“Yup!” Hiccup said as he signed.  “It's a yearly thing to celebrate the survival of amputees and to thank them for their sacrifices. The parade is actually very creative, but the post parade bash is hilarious. Drunk amputee Vikings telling their crazy stories of how limbs were lost. Highly exaggerated. It's like they try to outdo each other.”

Now that he was back on his foot, Hiccup got right to work on the new joystick control for Toothless.  His concern over Toothless's lack of flying time drove him to finish it.  The dragon was good about his own exercises as he frequently went outside, gripped a tether bar or held onto a boulder just to flap his wings.  It still bothered Hiccup, because he couldn't guess how long a grounded dragon would stay sane.  

Gobber had found Hiccup's original plans for the dragon's tail fin, and created a new one, saving Hiccup that effort.

Forge work was like a whole new round of physio. All his home exercises didn't quite prepare him, and he was sore for days until his muscles got better re-accustomed to working with a hammer and bellows. The joystick controller was more complicated to produce, and he had to try several iterations before creating an operable one to his liking.  He tested it much the same way he had with Toothless's original rigging and declared it a fabulous success. After which they put it to a real flight test with all the other dragons and riders as emergency escort. Astrid and Stormfly didn't want to leave anything to chance. Now that Hiccup had a team to support him, he could minimize his risk.  By now Hiccup's ear drums had healed and his sense of balance had indeed returned. Toothless put Hiccup through his own tests. Loops, barrel rolls,  Sea stack slaloms, vertical spins and breathtaking dives.  Toothless grinned in pride for his boy when he shouted, “Yeah baby!”

Sign of the Chapter - Parade: Both open five hands are pointing down, and one is slightly behind the other. Make two sweeping motions with both these hands, diagonally away from you. Think of it as groups of people marching along.

CHAPTER 38: RETURN TO BOG

Hiccup sent three letters by falcon mail. He wanted to prepare Big Boobied Bertha for the arrival of two Dragon Riders. He kept it simple and to the point. He merely explained how the Hooligan tribe had discovered the real cause of the dragon raids, and how they had put an end to them. In so doing the dragons had lost all their hostility, and they had actually trained several dragons.  Hiccup also added that he and Astrid would be coming by dragon back in two days time, “So please inform your patrol guards not to shoot us down.”

Astrid was hyped about returning for another visit to see her favourite professor, Esdra, at the Scholars Institute. She was even more excited about getting to introduce Hiccup to her.

Astrid had invited her mom to join her, but as brave as Énjal was against ground based dangers, she would never conquer her fear of heights, let alone go up on a dragon. She loved dragons, but “On the ground thank you very much.”

While Hiccup crated the Door Winker metal components, Astrid did the same for the glass globes and ceramic pots for the lanterns. Hiccup would carry his crates on Toothless. He had devised a saddlebag system for the saddles of both Toothless and Stormfly. Toothless being the smaller Dragon would carry Hiccup's smaller crates of metal components. Hiccup could have put all his units in one case, but he wanted to balance the load for Toothless.  Astrid did the same for Stormfly, but her load was split into four wooden boxes.  The glass globes and pots were a bulkier affair. In terms of weight both dragons carried about the same, but the larger dragon, Stormfly carried the bulkier load.

Astrid turned to Hiccup to ask him a question and saw him slip an elaborately decorated tube shaped wooden box into one of his saddlebags.  She thought nothing of it other than it must be a gift he'd made for Esdra.  When she tapped his shoulder to get his attention Hiccup jumped with a squeak. “Sorry, Hiccup.” That was a little odd, Astrid thought as Hiccup had long since gotten used to people tapping him. “Have you seen the box of wicks?”

Thank goodness for ASL Hiccup thought.  No stuttering.  He really didn't have to say anything either way in this case. He just reached down behind two large jugs of lamp fuel and handed her the box.

“Thank you.” Astrid signed with a kiss.  “Why are you so edgy?”

“I guess I'm just nervous about meeting your professor?” He signed in answer. “I don't think I'm exactly super fluent in ASL yet, and I don't want to make your mom or you look bad as teachers.” He thought he'd done well there in covering up his nerves, since that was a true reason as well.

Astrid thought Hiccup was endearing.  Even when he was the brightest guy she knew, he would never play it up. “Relax, Hiccup.  I can't believe how far you have come along in such a short time.  You will do fine.  She's not going to expect you to have mastered a lifetime of ASL in a few short months. Speaking of which, where are those diagrams of the alphabet you drew up?

Smiling with a twinkle, he pulled out the tube. Astrid gasped at the beauty of the carvings and engravings on it. “Oh Hiccup, she'll love this.  Can I get a sneak peek?” As she reached for the tube of wonder.

Hiccup batted her hands away and signed, “No, no, no. The Master will reveal his work only at the appointed time.” Astrid pouted, so to distract her he explained, “Dad carved the dragons for me and paid for the silver that I used on the engravings.”  It was basically a very brief pictogram of how peace was made with the dragons. The wood had been dry brush stained in a way that seemed to bring the dragons to three dimensional life, and sealed with some kind of clear lacquer.

To distract her further, he told her about the new lamp fuel he'd created. It was a mixture of Monstrous Nightmare secretions mixed in with cold pressed flaxseed seed oil.  This had been a highly renewable source of lamp oil. And it only took a little of the dragon's oil mixed in to produce a lamp flame perhaps three times brighter than they currently produced. Still safe to use in the lamps.

They finished packing up the goods and supplies, kissed their parents farewell and headed off to Bog Island.  Communication was a lot easier this time as they could both sign to each other across the air space between them, and not worry about the noise of the rushing wind of their passage.  Of course that didn't bother Hiccup but Astrid used her ear stoppers to protect her hearing.

Even though Hiccup was deaf he realised that air rushing past your head could be extremely noisy. So when they got back he was going to work on a helmet design with glass eye covers to better protect the riders.

They flew nice and high to avoid possible contact with any ships below. Hiccup was not blind to the fact that until word got around, many more people would still be highly hostile to dragons. It would still take a long time to overcome three hundred years of hostility between the species.

As he and Astrid approached Big Boobied Bertha's Island they still came in carefully in a descending orbit to make sure her patrols were not going to take any drastic actions against them.  Apparently they got the messages.  The lookouts sounded trumpet blasts of welcome, and they came into land near the Great Hall.  Bertha joyously greeted Hiccup and Astrid. Hiccup groaned in the grip of Bertha's bear hug.  “Easy, Bertha, please.  I'm not exactly my dad you know.” As if remembering who she was embracing she lowered Hiccup back down like he was a china doll. Recalling his father's warning he gave himself a quick pat down, but Bertha had her standards and wouldn't snitch anything from the son of an allied chieftain.

Bertha gave Astrid a peculiar glance as to why she was here with Stoick's son?  “So what brings you to my Island Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third?  And with such impressive steeds no less?  When I received your falcon mail, I thought you had been making up a grand fairy tale.” Then Bertha did give Astrid a very odd look.  “Why is Astrid waving her hands at you for?”

“Several months ago I lost my hearing because of a freak accident.  That's why my dad had come to visit you about hiring an interpreter, only back then he didn't realise that I didn't understand ASL. Astrid and her mom had received the Scholars Institute's blessing to teach me and any other Berkians interested.  I'm actually here to return the favour.  I invented a new type of signaling system for the deaf to use on their doorways, so the institute bought some and I'm here to install them.”

"You always were tinkering around, and now something has actually come out of it, eh?” Bertha stated looking him over. She gasped when she noticed his prosthetic.  “What happened to you, boy?”

To answer her Hiccup asked a question of his own.  “When's the last time any dragons raided your Island?”

Bertha pondered this a few moments.  “I'd say about two to three moons ago. Why?”

Hiccup smiled at Astrid and then answered his host.  “That confirms my theory. Astrid and I discovered a queen dragon on what we now call Dragon Island at Helheim's Gate. She had some sort of control over these dragons and they were forced to bring her food.”  Pointing to their dragons to introduce them Hiccup continued, “It's thanks to Stormfly, Toothless, and three other dragons back on Berk, and their riders, we were able to defeat and kill her.” Hiccup didn't sound proud of this. Had there been another way, he would have preferred not to kill the queen. Regrettably she was just too dangerous. “When Toothless ultimately shot her down, her tail hit my leg.  She was a giant of a dragon. That's how I lost my leg. Astrid saved my life.”

A bold voice from a petite young blonde behind Astrid made her jump.  “I always knew you had greatness in you, Hiccup!” Astrid interpreted as she looked around to see a remarkably pretty girl, perhaps a year younger than Hiccup. It was hard to guess because of her petite size. Astrid felt a little ashamed as a pang of jealousy made her tense.

“Camicazi!”  Hiccup cheered. He hadn't seen his old childhood friend in years. She was the daughter of Big Boobied Bertha and one of the few in his past who had never tormented him.  He welcomed her with a hug and introduced her to Astrid.

“Astrid, this is Bertha's daughter Camicazi. We became friends a long time ago when I spent a couple of moons here one summer.”

This disturbed Astrid even more.  Two heirs who were seemingly close friends. This was the stuff arranged marriages were made from. Astrid hid it well but inside she felt her heart begin to crumble.

“As usual Camicazi, you exaggerate, but thanks for the compliment anyway.” Hiccup quirked with a grin.

A grin Astrid thought was reserved for her. She berated herself for her anxiety.  Hiccup hadn't had many friends, so she shouldn't get upset over one who seemed genuine.

Camicazi asked Hiccup a question before Bertha could.  “How long are you on Bog for?”

“Two nights for sure. Astrid and I are here to install some stuff I made for the Scholars Institute.”

Camicazi gave Hiccup a strange look. “But I thought she was your interpreter?”

“She is, but she also helped me with two prototypes I made.” Then Hiccup took her hand and continued, “She's also my girlfriend.”

Internally Astrid breathed a sigh of relief bigger than the downed queen.  She was pretty sure now that if he asked her to marry him, she wouldn't hesitate at all to say yes.

Camicazi looked a little disappointed but asked them both to join her for supper in the Great Hall.

“Thanks Camicazi.” Then looking to Astrid for confirmation Hiccup added, “We will.  Thank you, Bertha, for your hospitality. See you both for supper time then.”

Astrid and Hiccup carried on. Hiccup was debating with himself whether or not to spring his surprise on Astrid when he met Esdra, or on the last day.  As hyped up as he was, he resolved to save it for the last day when he would present Esdra with his tube of scrolls.

Hiccup and the dragons followed Astrid. He had a general idea where the Institute was, but Astrid would know the ins and outs better for certain.

Hiccup was thoroughly impressed with the Scholars centre. A wooden structure of two levels, with what seemed like ten windows per level. Certainly huge by Berkian standards. That was only the main structure.  There were at least six other large single level buildings forming a hexagon around the main building.  That's when Hiccup realised the main facility was also six sided.

“How old is the Institute?  It certainly wasn't here when I stayed with Camicazi eight summers ago.” Hiccup signed to Astrid his question.

In reply Astrid told him, “I think it's only seven years old. They must have started building it around the time you were here, but we were pretty young back then. Not something we necessarily would have noticed. I enrolled only three years ago, so they had already finished what you see now.  As far as I know it's the only formal education centre in all the archipelago. I was really lucky to be accepted. I've only been on Bog five years with my mom. And the way things are going with your dad and my mom, this might be my last year here.” Astrid said prophetically, unbeknownst to her.

Excitedly Hiccup asked, “Does that mean if your mom stays on Berk you will as well?”

“That now will be up to her in a way. I've never wanted to leave her alone since I'm her only family. If mom chooses to stay with your dad then I know she has someone to be with. Now that I have Stormfly I have more freedom to work anywhere in the Archipelago.” Why did this sadden Hiccup?  “That wouldn't stop me from calling Berk my home, if mom chooses to stay however.” Now he brightened again.

“That's great. You nearly broke my heart there.” Hiccup confessed with a wink.

“Not unless you give me a really good reason to.” She said with a threatening jab to his shoulder.

“Never milady! Never!”

“That's an awfully long time.” She quipped.

Not long enough for me. Hiccup thought to himself.

Several early arrivals for the start of the fall agenda, were startled to see two dragons nonchalantly strolling along behind a young couple. Stranger than that, the dragons had saddles and bags like pack horses.

“Wait here, Hiccup. I'll go get Director Esdra.  I want her to come and see Stormfly and Toothless.” Astrid instructed.

Hiccup was fine with that, so while he waited he started to unburden the dragons.  Having finished with Stormfly he started on his dragon's rigging when Astrid tapped him on his shoulder.  This time he calmly turned around.  There before him stood Astrid's professor of deaf culture.  The only other truly deaf person besides Énjal he had yet to encounter. She was shorter and heavier set than Énjal with oddly dark orange blond hair. He wondered if she might have come from one of the mainland countries his dad told him about.

Astrid began her silent introductions.  “Director Esdra, this is Blacksmith Journeyman and Dragon Master Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third. Hope and Heir to the Hooligan tribe of Berk.”

Hiccup gave Astrid an embarrassed look as if to say, “Don't go overboard there.”

Esdra was amused by his look of chagrin. Esdra held out her hand for a shake, but when when Hiccup took it she pulled him in for a bear hug.  When she broke it off she immediately signed, “Nice to meet you.  Astrid has told me so much about you.” She ended with a wink and a smile embarrassing both teens to blushing.

“Nice to meet you too.  Astrid has told me a lot about you as well.” Hiccup returned her greeting.

Crossing her flattened “O” shaped hands at the wrist to pull them apart like two swords sliding off each other, then touching her right flattened hand to her chin palm in, and pushing it out while twisting her hand palm out, and down Esdra asked, “Nothing bad I hope?”

Astrid gave her a light punch and Hiccup laughed and signed, “No no no, all good---” here Hiccup grinned and winked himself, “---grandma.”

Esdra laughed herself when Astrid punched him hard enough to make him wince. “She will keep you tough if you stay with my Astrid.”

Hiccup laughed and replied with, “Or tenderized.” He had to fingerspell the last word since he didn't know if there was a sign for it.”

Esdra was instantly charmed by this young man. Bright, intelligent, and witty. She could easily understand why her favourite pupil found him to be so appealing.  “Well young man. Astrid told me briefly about your predicament on her first return visit here.  I'm quite surprised at how well you have come to know your new language.”

With a respectful bow Hiccup replied, “Thank you Master Esdra.” Hiccup wanted to convey his appreciation for allowing the Hoffersons to teach him. “Astrid and Mrs. Hofferson have been great teachers. Thank you for allowing Astrid to help teach me. She had explained how it was not proper for the hearing to teach ASL.”

“You are very welcome.” Hiccup and Astrid were surprised when Esdra again gave him a warm hug.

“Now Astrid, why did you fib to me when you said your young man had invented a way to come here faster than falcons? Surely he didn't create a dragon.”

Hiccup couldn't keep a smirk from appearing on his face as Astrid became a little flustered. “Well Master Esdra, no, he didn't create a dragon, but come and see.”

Esdra nearly fell on her arse when Astrid signed to Toothless, “Please extend your tail straight out Toothless.” and the black dragon bowed to Esdra and complied.

Esdra just had to ask, “Is the dragon deaf?”

Both Hiccup and Astrid couldn't help laughing. Astrid answered. “No, but it turns out dragons are far more intelligent than we ever thought possible. They understand a lot of human speech, and with instruction ASL.  They can even mimic some signs, at least the few their paws allow.”

As if to prove her point, both Toothless and Stormfly signed “Yes” and “Thank you” right to Esdra. Stormfly could only sign “Yes” with her wing claw. She couldn't maneuver it for the sign of “Thank you”.

Esdra had to breathe deeply or risk fainting. Astrid nearly became concerned until she saw Esdra ask Toothless a question.

Esdra could see right away she would have to ask her questions allowing for yes or no answers. “Why Thank you? For allowing Astrid to teach Hiccup?” She now really loved Hiccup's name sign. So appropriate.

Toothless paw signed “Yes” while nodding his head. Stormfly also nodded.

Esdra just had to ask another question. “Why are you called Toothless?”

Even though this was not a yes or no question, Toothless was able to answer in his DSL (Dragon Sign Language).  First he made the pads of both forepaws face each other up and down, moved them back and forth alternatingly for the sign of laugh, and Esdra's eyes opened wide when she also saw his throat vibrating. She looked quickly at her hearing student who was indeed laughing. She looked back to Toothless who then opened his jaw, pointed to his mouth with his left claw to reveal his teeth. Esdra had to laugh herself when all of a sudden a mouthful of deadly looking teeth vanished into his gums.

Hiccup had to volunteer more information.  “The first time I met him up close, he had smiled at me toothlessly, then nearly took off my hand for the fish I was holding.  That's how I gave him his name.”

“And how you derived his name sign.” Esdra stated matter-of-factly.

“Exactly.” Hiccup affirmed.

“Alright, Astrid, please continue.”

Astrid walked Esdra around to the left side of Toothless.  She thought Hiccup ought to do this, but in this she enjoyed bragging on Hiccup's behalf.  Astrid  retold Hiccup's story of how Toothless lost his tail, and then showed off the prosthetic tail fin and control assembly he created to help his dragon fly again.  “I saw both units. His first used a foot pedal but since he lost his leg to the Red Death queen, he reinvented it to this hand control.”

Esdra looked carefully at the hand control. It looked so complicated to her, she couldn't imagine how it worked.  Esdra was thoroughly impressed and was now really looking forward to see the devices Astrid and Hiccup had created for her.

Esdra and Astrid got caught up on the Island news, gossip and happenings while Hiccup continued to un-harness Toothless.

Hiccup spotted a young girl and boy staring at him and the  dragons. Assuming they could hear he called out to them.  “Hey! Would you like to come and see Stormfly and Toothless?” No reaction. They saw him speak, looked at each other, and signed to him they were deaf. Hiccup then repeated his question in sign. They nodded and signed excitedly but still approached with caution.  Hiccup introduced himself and the dragons. They in turn introduced themselves as Svanhild and Harald.  Hiccup asked the dragons to squat down and to allow the children to pet them.  “Don’t be afraid.  They are very friendly and love kids.”  Tentatively the children reached out.  The boy gravitated to Toothless, and Svanhild moved towards Stormfly.  The dragons purred for them upon contact and the kids glowed in delight.  Then they swapped dragons, rubbing and hugging.

“I have some work to do here, could you take the dragons to your fishery and buy them each a basket of fish please?”  He squatted down to their level and gave them each a single silver mark.  “This is for the fish.”  Then he gave them each a ten copper piece. “And this is for you.”  The boy and girl looked at him in amazement and delight to be given this privilege.

Turning to the dragons he attached to them two leather tethers and handed them to the children.  He explained to the dragons, “This is just for show.  Friendly dragons are new to everyone here, and if they see you being lead on a leash, they will be much less likely to become agitated.  Besides, you could easily break away if you run into trouble.”

The dragons nodded in understanding and happily followed the children to their breakfast.

Hiccup turned around to see Astrid admiring him with the sweetest smile he’d seen yet.  What was that look on her face?  Were her eyes glistening?

“Did I ever tell you how awesome you are?” She asked him.

“That’s a new one.” He replied.  “But what for?  I swear you like to confuse me.”

She walked up to him, kissed him and said, “Just for being your loveable oblivious self.”

Hiccup saw Esdra smiling at them and he blushed.  He would never figure out women.

Sign of the Chapter - Story: Each hand takes on the "B" shape. Fingers closed together and flat with the thumbs tucked into the palm. Finger tips facing each other on a horizontal plain, you bring the hands together with the thumbs open, then pull them apart as you close the thumbs. The dominant hand will be turned slightly in relation to the other. Kind of like two sock puppets kissing each other. The motion is repeated two times.

CHAPTER 39: INSTALLATIONS

Hiccup asked to start in Esdra’s office because he needed to clear up where the units were supposed to go.

“Ten offices for my staff and I, and for our homes as well please.”

Hiccup again asked, “Are all the offices equipped with windows and on the main floor?” His was thinking reflected light would still be brighter than lantern light, but if all the offices only had interior doors, he would have to set them up for lantern only functions.

“That is the case.” Esdra answered.

“I will work on the offices first, but ideally the homes should have more than one unit each for at least two windows or more. We can address that issue at a later date.  I can offer to make you more units for a lower price.  You have been overly generous with your first offer.” Hiccup offered.

“Let’s discuss it over supper then.” Esdra invited.

Hiccup explained they had already accepted a supper invitation at the Great Hall with Bertha and Camicazi.  

“Tomorrow night then?”  Esdra asked.  She knew full well that Bertha was not comfortable in her presence and didn’t understand why, but she would not intrude on her and her daughter only to make that matter worse.

Astrid and Hiccup signed a synchronized, “Yes”.

Hiccup thought to himself This couldn’t work out better if I’d planned it. Hiccup then asked Esdra, “Are you still in need of your office?  I can start elsewhere if you do.”

“Not at all.  You may proceed.  Will it bother you if I just work at my desk? Or will I be in the way?” Esdra asked.

Since Hiccup didn’t have to string anything across the room she would be fine where she was. “That’s alright with me.  I just thought I would end up disturbing you.”

She just signed in the negative and started on her paper work.

Hiccup opened his tool box to retrieve his wood boring tool, and Astrid began to assemble the first Door Winker. Hiccup was actually thankful that Esdra had gone back to working. Her desk was facing the doorway and he thought it would be best to install the unit at eye level for her.  He would would bore the hole well above his head so the pulley brackets wouldn't pose a walking hazard for passersby. He would mount the lantern unit a little above her eye line of the desk. That way she would more readily see it when someone pulled the cord. Being illuminated, he was hoping the unit itself would be more than visible as an obstacle.

The boring tool looked new to Astrid and she asked him about it. “Yeah, I decided to reinvent it a little”. The previous version used a “T” shaped handle and a cone shaped piece of porous volcanic rock.  Effective but not too efficient. The stone would clog up and you had to frequently tap it to unclog it. This often broke the tip.  His new version looked like a square shaped “U”, with a straight shaft extending ninety degrees to each end. On one end was fitted a knob to hold onto. The middle of the U also had a wooden handle. The other end held a pointed piece of steel that looked like a very narrow arrow head. The blades of the arrow head were sharpened only on one side like two chisels in one. He had also made different size heads for different size holes.

“So when I hold the knob like this, and turn the middle like this, I can spin the bore point, and it digs out the hole a lot faster than the old version.” Hiccup happily explained.

Astrid smiled and shook her head and signed, “Show off. You're going to make Gobber jealous if you're not careful.”

Hiccup laughed.  “I doubt it. He's created quite a few things himself.”

“And you probably have already thought of ways to improve them.” Astrid signed and put her hand on her hip with that quirky tip to her head he just loved.

“Maybe.” Was all Hiccup slowly signed back, shrugging his shoulders with a smirk, and ducking his head a little.

It took him a quarter of the the time to drill out the pull cord hole and he didn’t even have to stop to unclog the bore point.  Following this he took the first triangular bracket to mount it outside the wall with nails he had specially made.  They had square shafts but while they were still glowing hot he had twisted them several times giving them a spiral shape.  They stayed in the wood more securely that way. The pulley brackets had the pulleys built in. Right angled triangles with the pulley at the end of the horizontal bar on top. He made eyelets on the brackets for the nails to go through.  Six nails per bracket.  Astrid held the bracket in place while he hammered in the first two nails.  After that he could do the rest on his own.  Another simpler bracket he mounted around shoulder height on the outside of the doorway as well.  This was just to stabilize the pull rope. The bracket for the Winker unit was a little different.  Twin right angled triangles with the horizontal bars at the top, to hold the winker platform.  He took measurements and cut the appropriate length of rope. He threaded the rope through the outside brackets and loosely tied it off.  Then he fished a wire through the bore hole from inside Esdra’s office, hooked the rope to it and pulled it through the wall, threaded it down the inside pulley to the winker.  There was a coil spring on the bottom of the winker which Hiccup carefully linked to a hook on the platform base.  Here was the tricky part.  He had to first wind up the Winker base before allowing it to slip into the collar of the platform, and then tie on the rope.  He then secured the whole affair from underneath with a round metal disk and twist latch so the Winker wouldn’t pop out of the platform.

Astrid was giddy and was about to tell Esdra but Hiccup grabbed her arm and voiced for her to wait.  “Let’s see if it really works for her.”

Astrid had already pre-fueled the lantern. Hiccup positioned it so the flame wouldn’t be immediately visible by one of the two blinds of the Winker, and Astrid lit the lamp.  The new formula did indeed produce a brighter flame, and having cut the wick to a point improved on that a little more.

They quietly stepped out of the office.  Esdra was engrossed in her work so she hadn’t noticed their escape.  Hiccup had Astrid wait for a minute and then gave Astrid the honour of pulling the cord for the first time.  Shortly after Esdra opened her door to a giggling, and jumping Astrid who then hugged Hiccup, kissed him and signed frantically, “It worked, it worked!”

To Hiccup’s astonishment, Esdra grabbed Hiccup for a hug as well. Amusedly, Hiccup thought, Deaf people sure hug a lot.   

Esdra signed, very pleased, “Astounding.  Honestly I was a little skeptical about how well this device would work, but then I had to look up to see what was flashing in my eyes.  Thank you so much Blacksmith Journeyman Hiccup.  I really appreciate this.”

Hiccup gave her a list of instructions which included how to prepare and trim the wicks, how often they would need to be refueled; almost any fine oil would do, but his formula was only available from Berk for now.  Not to touch the glass until it cooled.   Extinguishing the bright flame was simply a matter of good puff of air into the Chimney.  Astrid showed her how to light the wick and adjust it for the best light, which was also in Hiccup’s detailed instructions. She used a rag to lift the now hot glass chimney in order to demonstrate.

Esdra then said, “I will have copies written and given to my fellow instructors, as well as the maintenance workers. Thank you so much again.  Let me get your payment.”

Hiccup caught her elbow as she tried to leave.  “That can wait.  Pay me when we're finished.”

“Very well.  Now I am excited to see the reactions of the other professors to our new toys.”  Esdra signed with a huge smile.

Hiccup and Astrid focused on completing the Winker installations in the Institute first.  Hiccup’s first unit took him about an hour.  After two more they were down to half an hour each.  After five, Hiccup’s shoulders were feeling the strain from multiple borings, so he declared break time, and they went to buy lunch in the Great Hall of Bog.

Esdra timed it well and joined them for lunch, and then surprisingly Camicazi joined them as well.  Camicazi  knew no ASL, so Astrid had to interpret for her.  For Camicazi’s sake Hiccup reiterated the tale of how he lost his hearing and thus came to befriend Toothless and all the other Berkian dragons.  Which in turn lead to his new native friends of Berk training their own dragons.

Looking hopeful, Camicazi asked if it was hard to do.  “Not particularly once you earn their trust.  I imagine the dragons around here could still be skittish so I advise you to be very careful if you decide to try.  Carry no weapons if you do decide to try.  That’s how a lot of vikings ended up losing limbs.  They are actually very smart.  Ours understand a fair amount of speech and sign language.  Not everything, but alot.”

Watching Astrid, Esdra added her own comment on how true that was, as she had actually asked questions of the Black One.

“Speaking of which?” Astrid wondered, “What do you think our little monsters are up to?  I had expected to see them when we came out for lunch?”

Hiccup looked around and spotted Svanhild and Harald just as they entered the Great Hall.  They were looking around for someone so Hiccup waved out to them.  They signed out to their parents “We’ll be right there!” then rushed over to Hiccup’s group.

“Thank you so much mister.  Your dragons are soooo much fun.” Harald signed and smiled in delight.  Hiccup thought to himself “Mister?”  He was barely older than they were.  Or at least that’s how he saw himself.

“Did you know they love to play fetch?  Stormfly’s really good at it.  She catches the sticks in the air before they even hit the ground.” Svanhild signed in as well.

Laughing, Astrid asked, “So what did you end up doing with our big puppy dogs?”

The two kids laughed at her joke and Harald answered, “We took them back to the big school, and they went to sleep by all your stuff.”

Hiccup signed slyly to Esdra and whispered to Camicazi, “I think I’m going to get it from Toothless.  They in turn laughed, and more when Astrid sign-spoke, “Oh our poor babies.”

Camicazi walked them back to the campus hoping to see their dragons up close again.  

The two dragons were sleeping together, Toothless wrapped under Stormfly’s wing. Astrid thought they were adorable.  Hiccup nudged Toothless.  “I have another friend who would like to meet you.” Toothless looked up and saw what looked like another child, covered his head with his forepaws, rolled his head side to side and groaned.

“He's groaning Hiccup. Please don't take this the wrong way Camicazi, but I think because you are petite, he may think you are another child to run them ragged.” Astrid giggled a little, not at Camicazi, but at Toothless.

The smaller girl took it in stride. “No offense. I get that all the time. Hi Toothless. Can I rub your head?”  Toothless nodded his head with a grin. “Thank you. So you understood me?” He nodded again. Checking to make sure it wasn't an automatic response Camicazi asked, “Can you take me for a ride?” Toothless closed his mouth in a grimace and shook his head side to side for “No”.  “That's okay, Toothless. I was just kidding.”  She was surprised to hear Toothless laugh at her, understanding the  joke.  She began to rub his head and asked Hiccup, “Can all dragons laugh?”

“I don't know. So far I only know of Toothless, and I only know that because Astrid told me. Does he sound like a really big and fast bullfrog?”

“Yeah! Wait. I thought you were deaf now?”

Astrid couldn't help laughing there. “Sorry Cami. That's how I described that laugh to Hiccup.”

“Duh. Tells you how well I listen, eh?” Cami confessed.

“Well, in all fairness Cami, I never said Astrid described his laugh.”

“Thanks, Hiccup. You never were one to tease me.”

“Do you get teased a lot?” Astrid inquired.

With a laugh Camicazi raised a spunky fist. “Not anymore.”

Hiccup couldn’t resist teasing her this time around.  Rubbing his rear end to indicate how many times she had flattened him he said, “That’s for sure.”

Astrid grinned at Camicazi and told her, “We girls have to stick together.” So she punched Hiccup in the shoulder, again.

“Owwe! Can you at least pick a new spot?  That shoulder’s getting ready to bleed.  Just because you saved my life doesn’t mean you get to brutalize me.” Hiccup whined with a mock pout.

Camicazi couldn’t believe her eyes, and laughed.

“Oh no?  How about when we get married?”  Hiccup just sputtered at Astrid.  Where did that come from?

Camicazi couldn't help gawking at Astrid for her comment.

“Especially not then.  People who love each other don’t go beating on each other. There supposed to play nice and lovey dovey.” Was Hiccups rebuttal.

Camicazi couldn’t stop laughing now, and Toothless and Stormfly were joining in.

“Well, I love you now, and I punch you.” Astrid signed and vocalized back.

Camicazi now stared in wonder at this revelation.

Hiccup’s jaw just opened and closed like a fish.  He couldn’t argue that point, and he knew for a fact they loved each other.  Perhaps more deeply than he realised. “Oh, alright. Can you at least lighten up on this punching bag of yours?”

“I’ll think about it.” Astrid tapped her chin thoughtfully.  “Well you partly answered one question for Camicazi.” Astrid revealed.

“Huh? How’s that?” Hiccup looked at his younger friend.

Camicazi answered him and Astrid translated.  “Stormfly was laughing at you too.”

Hiccup gave the Deadly Nadder the evil eye. “Ungrateful wench, and after I saved your hide in the arena.”

Stormfly surprised them all with a tilt of her head and a raspberry tongue.  Toothless rolled around laughing, and no one else could prevent laughing either.

Astrid strolled up to to Hiccup who gulped in fear, eyes wide.  She just pulled him in for a kiss.  “That’s for being such a good sport.”  He rolled his eyes and sighed. Then frowned sternly at Camicazi who was making a near universal sign of her own.  Astrid laughed to see Camicazi sticking her finger down her throat and faking a gagging noise.

Hiccup gave Camicazi a loving pout, stuck his nose up in the air, pulled Astrid in for a hug and declared, “At least someone loves me.”

The trio laughed and hugged. “Oh Thor, this has been so much fun.  Thanks for letting me come along.  Now I have to go to my boring chiefing lessons.  See you at supper.” Camicazi reminded them as she turned and jogged away.

Sign of the Chapter - Lamp: Palm facing your chin with all four fingers up, bring your thumb and middle finger to flick the end of your chin (Light), then make the same hand into a lemon shape, fingers facing down, drop the hand slightly while opening all the fingers wide. This represents the light shining down. Lamp.

CHAPTER 40:  COMPLETION

Astrid and Hiccup completed the installations of all twenty Door Winker Units by the end of the second day.  They turned out to be such a hit, he was nearly forced to accept an order for sixty more.  Each of the professors’ homes needed at least two more, and a good deal of Bog’s deaf population were requesting sets of their own.

Hiccup almost punched Astrid when she let slip near some hearing people that Hiccup could also include bells.  That’s how he ended up with orders for sixty more Winkers.  Hoping to discourage more orders, he requested fifty percent of cost up front, so he could pay for the materials he would need.  He was going to have to invest in his own forge now.  He was going to be busier than Gobber, whom he would probably end up hiring. Little did he know how popular the Berkian units had become, and Gobber had already been taking orders on Hiccup’s behalf.

It was time for Hiccup and Astrid to say their farewells to Esdra.  In her office Esdra happily handed Hiccup a bag of six gold marks, each worth 100 silver marks. Hiccup looked in the bag and almost felt guilty. He handed back two gold coins, and signed to Esdra, “I told you before you were too generous.  These four gold marks are plenty enough.  I will also be busier than ever thanks to your initial order.”

Esdra wanted to argue with him but Astrid interrupted them.  “Perhaps Hiccup will be persuaded to take them back when you see the gift he made for you?”

“Astrid!  That’s a gift, not a commision.  That’s my thank you to Esdra for allowing you and your mom to teach me.” Hiccup protested.

“What gift is this youngman?  Haven’t you done enough for me already?” Esdra questioned.

“Well, now that Astrid spilled the beans,”  Hiccup removed from his tote bag the special tube he had created.  Esdra gasped at the craftsmanship.

“Hiccup, this is a masterpiece of art.  I can not accept this!” Esdra signed in protest.

“Well it’s not made to be displayed really. It’s what’s inside that counts.”  Hiccup explained.

The ends of the tube were closed by tight fitting wooden caps.  Esdra carefully twisted one off and inside she saw a series of parchment scrolls.  She carefully pulled them out and along with them came out a stunningly beautiful silver arm band.  Esdra looked at Astrid to see if she recognized the significance of it.  Apparently not.  It seemed that to Astrid this was just one more exquisite piece of artistry created by her boyfriend. The armband appeared to be made of pure silver.  On it in raised gold relief, two dragons were depicted.  A Deadly Nadder somehow coloured with the actual scales of the dragon, and the Night Fury, parts of it coloured black.  The eyes of the Nadder were replicated by pure amber gemstones.  The eyes of the Night Fury depicted with emeralds.  On the backs of the dragons, a boy and a girl. The girl wearing a gold braid, much like Astrid’s, and the boy with a prosthetic silver leg.  The girl had eyes of cerulean gemstones, and the boy’s eyes were like that of the Night Fury. The couple were linked together by their elbows as the dragons circled each other precariously close.  Esdra sensed that Hiccup wasn’t ready to reveal the significance of the armband yet, so she casually put it near the corner of her desk and unrolled the bundle of 20 scrolls.

Esdra and Astrid both had the breath knocked out of them.  These sketchings were way beyond anything Astrid had seen of Hiccup’s yet.  He had taken such painstaking care, that the hands depicting the ASL alphabet looked like they were rising off the page.  Astrid didn’t know how Hiccup managed it, but the sheets had been protected by some kind lacquer.  As Astrid and Esdra delicately looked through the sheets, Hiccup very discreetly picked up the armband.

When they reached the last page, they read a letter.

“Dear Astrid:

The first day I saw you, I think my heart paused a beat. In that instant I thought I had died and my soul had ascended to Valhalla, for before me stood an angel of wondrous beauty. Yet the beauty of your heart surpassed the beauty of your shell.

I never believed in love at first sight, and like the pragmatic idiot that I am, I didn’t recognize what had happened to me.

You only made things better yet.  You were willing to take the time to get to know me. To know me for who I am.  You never judged me with preconceptions, and I got to know you better as well.  The more I came to know you, the more I had to love you. No. Chose to love you.

Love is more than a feeling, it is also a choice. My angelic Astrid, please now look at me.

Hiccup knew when Astrid had reached the end of the letter. She looked up at him with glistening eyes on the verge of tears.  Taking a deep breath to sign the most vulnerable  admission he would ever make, he finished his letter personally, “Astrid, I choose to love you. I choose to love you for the rest of my life. Will you choose me?” He knelt down before her not in supplication, but in respect. “Will you marry me?” With that final question Hiccup gave her the armband of engagement.

Two days earlier Astrid had lied to herself.  She had told herself if Hiccup were to ask her to marry him, she would accept immediately.  Instead, tears fell silently, she shook, her hands shook.  This had to be a dream.  A dream that was coming true. She attempted to take the armband from Hiccup, but her hands wouldn’t co-operate.  She needed to catch her breath, she needed his incredible strength, so she kneeled down with him and held him.

Two Gold coins made it back into the bag.  

He held her, and his strength restored her.  Her breath once again steady, she confidently stood up and pulled Hiccup to his feet.  This time Astrid reached for the armband with a steady hand and slipped it onto her left bicep.  It fit perfectly.  Hiccup must have taken measurements in her sleep.

“Yes. Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I choose you. Yes, I choose to love you all my life.”  With that Astrid punched him, but his left pectoral this time.  It was better padded.

“Owe! Now what was that for?”

“That’s for making me cry, again.”  Then she pulled him in for a long deep kiss. “That’s for making me the happiest girl on Mitgard.”

“Ahh, the pain is gone.”  And he smiled ecstatically.

Esdra as old as she was, had to wipe tears from her own face. “Now, Astrid, you understand why I wanted to meet the young man who stole your heart.”

Laughing they both embraced Astrid’s surrogate grandmother.

Sign of the Chapter - Engage: Make the "E" shape with your dominant hand by placing your thumb under all four finger tips. Hold the opposite hand flat under the "E" shaped hand. Make a circle in the air with the "E" shaped hand above the flat hand then touch it to the ring finger of the flattened hand. This is the sign for "Engage" or "Engaged".

EPILOGUE

The horns of welcome brought Énjal and Stoick out to see who the arrivals were.  Not ships, but two dragons were winging in.

Even from a distance Énjal could see light reflecting from something on what looked like a Deadly Nadder.  Could they be new Dragon Riders?  Impossible.  There was only the one ”Knight” Fury they knew of, and that was certainly what the other dragon was.  Privately Énjal opted to change the spelling for the Black Dragon. She felt it was more appropriate to the protective and heroic nature of the dragon.

As they got closer, Énjal grew more excited. She recognized her daughter now, and she was wearing a new adornment on her left upper arm.

Stoick was nearly pulled off his feet when a very excited Énjal began bouncing and spinning around the bigger man. “What has you in such a tizzy, my dear Énjal?”

She just pointed rapidly at the incoming dragon riders.  Stoick spotted the cause of Énjal’s exuberance, pushed his chest out proudly and prepared to greet his son.

The two riders barely had time to dismount when they were assaulted in turns by the mother of Hiccup’s fiancee.

“Is that for real?  Did Hiccup really propose to you?  Did you really propose to her?” Her hands moved so fast, that Hiccup could barely register the questions.

“Yes, yes, yes Mom!” Astrid was only too happy to confirm.

Hiccup was knocked off his feet when Énjal threw herself at him for a bear hug.  Fortunately for Hiccup, Toothless saw the mother of his girl careening towards him and braced Hiccup for the impact.  “Oh, you wonderful boy.  I love you son.” Énjal said with sincere delight over those words.

More stately and calmly, Stoick approached the excited homecoming. “Congratulations you two!  Would you care to make it a double date?”

Hiccup and Astrid blinked several times at what Stoick just signed.

Énjal raised her left sleeve to reveal her own arm band.  Astrid screeched in giddy delight, and Stoick, after shaking a finger in his ear declared. “It’s a good thing I know ASL now.”

THE END

(Two “B” shaped hands {flattened fingers closed, thumb tucked in}. Dominant hand has the finger tips pointing out, secondary hand is horizontal palm facing sternum. Edgewise on the baby finger, the dominant “B” hand slides along top of secondary hand, when it reaches the end of the finger tips, it drops suddenly, reaching the end.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: An extra special thanks I must extend to Grizzly98 for busting my chops with her excellent proofreading and editing talents.  I cannot express my thanks to you enough for helping me to look a lot more polished.

An additional thank you for some extra proof reading by 348joey also of FanFiction.net

Thanks I also extend to all the readers who patted me on the back with compliments, and constructive criticism.

I am in the outlining stages of a sequel, but don't hold your breaths.  This one will probably take me much longer to put together. I want to keep a promise I made to P-Artsypants to complete an Audiobook I am creating for her “Roses and Lilies” Fanfic.

[hearteyesmag-blog]

HWYKIYNT?

all contributors to the magazine have written a small blurb on what COIN’s album, How Will You Know If You Never Try?, means to them.

Ashleigh Haddock // Co-head of Social Media

COIN’s sophomore album, ‘How Will You Know If You Never Try,’  means so much to me. Not only the music, but the entire album reminds me of all the friends and memories I’ve made. Without this album, I don’t think I would have any of those things. I wouldn’t have met my best friends. I wouldn’t be writing this right now! For instance, one of the songs from the album, ‘Heart Eyes,’ directly inspired the name of this magazine. Without this masterpiece of an album, this magazine wouldn’t exist. My friends and I wouldn’t be sharing our experiences with the world. My absolute favorite song from the album is “Don’t Cry, 2020” I love one particular lyric, “years go by whether you want them to,” just because I find it extremely relatable and nostalgic. It’s a scary feeling watching yourself change and grow up, but, as Chase Lawrence sings, “it’s all gonna be alright.” I never knew I could feel such happiness and belongingness while listening to an album. Now, I think I will forever strive to live by COIN’s motto and album name, HWYKIYNT, because how will I know if I never try? Thank you so much Chase, Ryan, Zach, and Joe.

Gabrielle Yost // Founder

'How Will You Know If You Never Try' is not only the sophomore album written by my favorite band; it is also a quote I now live by. A domino effect, that has not only changed me, but also the lives of artists around me giving us a platform to create and show our ideas to the world whereas otherwise we wouldn't have the courage to do so. My whole life, I've been too shy to put out anything for fear it won't be good enough; I've kept the music I’ve been writing hidden. COIN has given me this life motto and the confidence to pursue those dreams that I never thought would be possible. Through the never ending support from the boys of COIN and my lovely friends, in the near future, I will be releasing an EP. I have never been so inspired in my life. Big and exciting things are coming. Thank you, COIN. HWYKIYNT amen.

Jiselle Santos // Co-head of Production Management

With the release of the album ‘How Will You Know If You Never Try’  by COIN, the album title itself makes you think about how to embark into the unknown. Following COIN’s journey for the last two years from the release of their self-titled album, opening for some of my favorite bands, to just recently headlining their own tour this spring and releasing this album, this band has truly grown in ways that I can’t put into words. The new album name describes how one should take that chance to do what they want and not let fear get to you. In a way, this album relates to how I’ve been trying to handle the many major changes that have happened in my life in the last two years. I like to say I grow with the music I listen to because it reminds me of memories that I either tend to treasure or even regret, and this album resonated with my experiences. However, being able to grow with the music you listen to and life continues to move forward, you develop some of the best relationships along the way. I'm quite thankful for all the friendships I formed along the way because of music and that’s something couldn't have pictured or said more than two years ago. Taking the chances I needed to, risking and sacrificing your wants and needs, experiencing life as it comes at you, because in the end, you should live that life you want to live - that’s what this album means to me.

Peyton Rhodes // Head of Writing and Editing

The phrase, “how will you know if you never try,” is one that I have struggled to fully grasp. At first, it seemed trite and obvious. However, as I began to face massive opportunities and change in my own personal life, the phrase took on a new glow. An example? This magazine. My dream has been to be a music journalist, but fear of failure, of bad pay, of limited job opportunity has kept me from pursuing that dream actively. When the idea for this magazine became a reality, the same fear plagued me - What if no one read it? What if no one cared? What if I took on too much work, considering the full school year approaching? And then I thought: how will I know if I never try? The simple phrase moved me so deeply in that moment that I decided to pour myself into this project. Recently, a quote from an interview with Chase Lawrence along the same lines nearly brought me to tears: “Missed opportunity: No! Try: yes!” Do not let the profundity of this miss you. Go for every opportunity you have. Pursue every dream you can. Let no one stand in your way. Above all, do not let fear be your guide. How will you know if you never try?

Victoria Taglione // Co-head of Social Media

COIN’s album title “How Will You Know If You Never Try” could not relate more perfectly to my life. Just thinking about the phrase makes me feel like I can magically take on the world, or take a smaller step like trying a new Starbucks drink. From the moment this album was released, I couldn't turn it off even if I tried. These songs relate and mean more than any group of songs have in a while, such as the tracks “Don’t Cry 2020,” “Hannah,” and Feeling”. One minute I feel completely lifted from every stress and worry, and then the next minute I feel extremely empowered to focus on my life and my dreams only. Later in the album, I’m taken back to the amazing memories I will always have of the of the COIN sign lit up, Chase’s back to the crowd, waiting to be hit with the “I’m feeling you, can you feel it too” lyrics that would make me insanely jump for a good amount of time. Without this album, I wouldn't be writing this for you, Heart Eyes Magazine wouldn't be real, and I wouldn't have made the incredible friends I have today. HWYKIYNT has brought so much more than I could have ever imagined, and I'm immensely grateful to COIN for bringing me these new opportunities into my life. A phrase that will always be with me: How Will You Know If You Never Try?

Ky Kasselman // Co-head of Production Management

On April 7, 2017, my life changed forever. I had spent the past five months working tirelessly for my on campus job as an event planner to book and coordinate my very first concert, and I had the privilege of doing business with my favorite band, COIN. Those five months were filled with blood, sweat, and tears, but in the end I put on an event that I was incredibly proud of with the added bonus of getting to hang out with and do hospitality for COIN all weekend. Through this experience and the encouragement of this band that I can now call my friends, I realized that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. COIN released “How Will You Know If You Never Try” and the phrase immediately stuck with me. I would not have known that I wanted to pursue event planning if I hadn’t have taken a chance on these guys. The album speaks volumes to me, as it came out not even a month after my show. “Hannah,” the song that belts the album title, immediately became my favorite track on the album, and I could not get the iconic phrase out of my head. While jamming to my other favorite tracks like “Lately II,” I feel the same freedom that I felt on that April night watching everything I had dreamed of come to fruition. This band, the friends I have made through it, and the people who have supported me these past few months are making my dreams a reality, as I am heading to grad school soon to continue this journey. It’s permanently marked on my heart and my skin, thanks to Ryan and Chase, so I will never forget. HWYKIYNT, amen.

Caleigh Wells // Head of Interviews and Submissions

How Will You Know If You Never Try?: An album, a song lyric, and now, a mantra. This phrase now sits in the back of my mind as I embark on my personal journey through life. With the new chapter of college looming in the future, I often turn to this question to push me to new heights, and to overcome new obstacles that I would previously be too afraid to challenge. I have always been known to be afraid of change, to be afraid of breaking out of my shell and trying new things. However, now I use this phrase, this album name, this song lyric, as if Chase was saying it to me personally, as I face a new challenge. How will I know the outcome unless I try? How will I achieve success unless I push myself beyond the limits of my fears? It’s taking the jump without fearing the fall. The song “Hannah”, which contains the famous lyric, as well as the album as a whole, never fails to boost my spirits, and I can confidently say this album has influenced me as the person I am, and the person I will become.

Madi Mize // Co-head of Social Media

HWYKIYNT. This phrase, or a variation of it, is something we’ve all heard before, but the actual meaning didn't really hit me until recently. I have always struggled with not taking risks because I am deathly afraid of failure. Consequently, this results in me missing a lot of great opportunities. I’ve been better about it lately (thanks, COIN), but I'll probably always struggle with it. HWYKIYNT the album: brilliant, incredible, showstopping, spectacular, etc. In all seriousness, this album is probably my favorite of the year so far. My favorite song is definitely Heart Eyes. The reason that it is my favorite is partly because it is such a beautiful sounding song, and because I feel like I can relate to the meaning so well. In an interview with Hollywood Life, Chase broke down the meaning to each song, and when I read what he said about Heart Eyes, I immediately teared up. Chase said “It’s about this girl who sees the best in everyone, and will go past herself to do anything to  make anyone better, even at her own expense. Her heart is bigger than her eyes. She'll sacrifice anything…but you have to take time for yourself, or else you’re just going to wither away.”, and that hit me like a ton of bricks. The next time I listened to the song, I sobbed, which was bad because i was driving. Would not recommend. This band means so much to me, and it’s not just because of the music. The people that I have met, getting to see COIN live, the interactions that I have had after the shows with the guys themselves, it all makes me feel very happy.

Sydney King // Head of Photography

For me, COIN’s sophomore album “How Will You Know If You Never Try?” has opened up a lot of cool doors in my life, such as becoming a more social person, being more adventurous and thinking outside of the box. I’ve also met some of the greatest friends because of this band through this second album. Ryan and Chase even wrote out “HWYKIYNT?” for me to get tattooed because it means that much to me! Although I have been a dedicated fan of COIN since their debut album, “COIN,” I feel like their fan base has grown so much over the past year and I have met so many talented, incredible people who I now call some of my best friends. If it weren’t for COIN and their music, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. A big shout out to Chase, Ryan, Zach, and Joe and their amazing tunes!

Jared Elliott // Head of Graphic Design

The words “how will you know if you never try” never really spoke to me until COIN set the phrase as the title for their sophomore album. I think for us as teenagers, this phrase is so important. As we grow there’s always a fear of failure. We can be so held back by our own selves a lot of the times. This phrase is almost, liberating. Being sixteen, I have a lot to learn and do. How Will You Know If You Never Try? will soundtrack my teenage years. The good. The bad. It will be there with all of it

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

One Revolution

We like to parcel our lives into smaller units. We’ve been doing this for thousands of years, and have increased the amount of various units as time has passed.

But one unit that is consistent throughout most cultures - ancient and modern alike - is the year:

One revolution around the Sun.

Whether or not we were aware of the Earth’s relationship to the Sun at that point, humans have always seemed to be keenly aware of this pattern of light, life, and season. And it has become engrained in us and our cultures in a multitude of ways: Birthdays, Anniversaries, education, celebrations, remembrances, etc.

The year has become the easiest and most visible yard stick that we utilize to measure progress - both our own and that of the world around us. And at this time of year you will hear an increased emphasis on the year as a measuring tool, as well as a strong counter-movement against its importance.

But as we find ourselves back in the same place we were one year ago - not just personally, but as an entire planet - it seems to make sense to look around and evaluate what has changed and, perhaps, what has not.

What is different one revolution later?

Previous Revolution

I don’t like to write posts about my past year with evaluation of the good and bad, coated with layers of immense gratitude and/or promises about the future. It’s not my style.

These posts are common at this time of year and many people find them helpful, which is awesome! If that works for you, that’s wonderful and I hope it continues to work for you for as long as you desire.

For me, I like to evaluate as I go along: Finding the gratitude in the moment, looking for the untapped potential as it passes by, and resolving to do better as immediately as I’m able. But that’s just my preference - a constant observership, instead of a yearly one.

However, I do think it’s important to reflect on events as a way of seeing where you are versus where you would like to be, and new years do seem to be an excellent time to do that.

So, what was my previous revolution like? Here’s 2019, in list-form and in calendar order:

Shows I Musically Directed:

January - Bring It On at From Stage To Screen (8 performances, 2 age groups)

March - Legally Blonde at New Hyde Park Memorial High School (3 performances)

April - Rent at From Stage To Screen (4 performances)

June - So Happy Together at Bristol Valley Theater (10 performances)

August - Cortland Repertory Theatre’s kids camp shows (2 performances, 2 age groups)

November/December - Began the process for Grease at From Stage To Screen

Shows I Saw (B-way, unless otherwise stated):

True West

To Kill A Mockingbird

The Lifespan Of A Fact

Mean Girls

Hello Kitty Must Die (reading)

SUNY Geneseo’s first Musical Theatre Showcase

We Are The Tigers (Off-Broadway, written by Preston Allen)

Be More Chill

King Lear

The Prom

Hadestown

Kiss Me Kate

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love And Murder (John Engeman Theater, starring Sean Lessard)

New Hyde Park Memorial High School Open Mic Night

Arts For Autism Broadway Benefit Concert (Artistically Directed by Jacque Carnahan)

Becoming Dr. Ruth (Bristol Valley Theater, starring Karin Bowersock)

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Jersey Lily (Bristol Valley Theater, starring many friends)

The Roommate (Bristol Valley Theater, starring Shannon Haddock)

The Rose Tattoo

Scotland, PA (Off-Broadway)

The Inheritance Part 1

Tootsie

The Inheritance Part 2

Hadestown

Evita (City Center)

Theatre:

On-Going - Teaching 35 private voice students and 4 classes at From Stage To Screen during the school year

On-and-Off - Continued work on the first draft of the baton-twirling musical

February - Held a final closed reading of the newest version of The King’s Legacy at my apartment, finally hearing aloud the mounds of new material

March - Led a workshop on performing new work with students from SUNY Geneseo

January-April - Cleaned the entire script and score for The King’s Legacy

March - Sat in on auditions and callbacks for Bristol Valley Theater in preparation for The King’s Legacy in August

June - Devised a musical revue show at a professional theater with some of my greatest friends

June - Taught a camp staff training session on using theatre in daily interactions with kids in Syracuse, NY

July - Led a workshop session with a group of young writers early in their process of devising a theatrical piece at Wood Library in Canandaigua, NY

July - Interviewed with Heather Teysko for an episode of The Renaissance English History Podcast

July-August - Spoke at 3 libraries local to BVT in interview and Q&A format about my writing and The King’s Legacy

July - Performed as Marcus Moscowitz in Murder For Two at Bristol Valley Theater

August - Performed in a cabaret night

August - The King’s Legacy opened and closed its premier production at Bristol Valley Theater amidst the love and support of friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers (10 performances as both a writer and performer)

October-November - Put together the details for an unexpected upcoming Industry Reading of The King’s Legacy through the Dramatists Guild, including making edits, doing rewrites, and writing new material

October - Traveled to the first ever TudorCon in Lancaster, PA and performed a concert of music from The King’s Legacy with a lovely group of performer friends

November - Dramatists Guild Friday Night Footlights Industry Reading of The King’s Legacy (Starring Teal Wicks, Wes Hart, Jacque Carnahan, John Michael Dias, Jillian Jameson, Jillian Louis, Mark Poppleton, Lauren Weinberg, Bunny Baldwin; Directed by Jen Wineman; Musically Directed by Paul Staroba)

November-December - Set up meetings and reached out to industry professionals about my work

Personal Life:

My nephew Tyler was born in May, and I travelled to Charlotte NC twice to see him and his family

Reconnected with people from all walks of life through the production of my show this summer

Traveled to see my friends and peers more

Started a new workout routine, which includes running

Made a large amount of new friends, and many of the deep-friend variety

And that was my 2019 in the barest, most basic form I could muster, while mentioning the things of note.

Now, there are things on these lists that I loved and things I did not. There are bullet points I am proud to have written here, and others that I wish I could write on here but I was unable to do so this year. There are energizing things, mundane things, happy things, less happy things, and a million implications and ripples from these bullet points that I cannot expand upon here.

But looking up at these lists with reflection, one thing is clear:

It was quite the revolution.

Next Revolution

As you may have guessed from my previous comments up above - New Years Resolutions are not really my thing.

I often find that there is something in my life that I would like to change or improve upon, and I generally don’t wait to make those decisions.

For instance, early in 2019 I made the decision that I wanted to make Kindness a more prevalent theme in my life - and so I did. Or at least have tried to, and continue to do so.

This year, however, I did decide to make a change at the turn of the year/decade. Beginning this year - and hopefully continuing on indefinitely - I am making People a priority: Spending more time with friends, Being more available to those in my circles, Expanding my circles, Letting more people in, and Increasing the size of my professional network.

For me this isn’t a “new year, new me” but instead simply a new year with continued hope for continued progress.

However you celebrate, grieve, reflect, or evaluate upon your revolutions, I hope you find peace, love, and progress - whatever that may mean to you.

Welcome, 2020.

[hopefuldreamlandcloud]

When I moved back to Cleethorpes I was pleasantly surprised to hear one of my old colleagues Patrick Salmon was the proud owner of Alfred Enderby’s on Grimsby Docks.

Alfred Enderby has been smoking fish in a traditional way for over 100 years since it’s inception back in 1918. It has enjoyed many years of success thanks to the Enderby family and in 2016 Patrick took hold of the reigns and has continued that success.

Impressively they have won numerous awards including runner up for “Best Individual Product” in the Slow Food London Awards, in 2017 they won Producer of the Year at the Lincolnshire Life Magazine Taste of Excellence Awards and have also received two Great Taste Awards from the Guild of Fine Foods in 2018. Most impressively their Grimsby Traditional Smoked Haddock has being awarded PGI (Protected Geographical Indication) status which protects a regional food that has a specific quality, reputation or other characteristics attributable to that area.

After bumping into Patrick at a networking event he invited me down to the smoke house for a tour. So, on the 2nd April I put on my wellies and headed down to Grimsby Docks to see where the magic happens. It’s been a long time since I visited the docks and felt a little nostalgic with this little trip down memory lane.

My tour started with Patrick showing me where they bring in the fresh fish each morning from Grimsby Fish Market, so early starts all round! It’s then filleted by their expert filleters removing all the bones. The following stage is the curing which is brining for haddock and salting for salmon. Next the fun bit, the smoking! The fish is placed into huge smoking chimneys, smouldering sawdust is placed over fresh sawdust and the smoking begins. Naturally formed tar is inside the chimneys and I must say I have never seen tar look so pretty! The fish is then packed and chilled ready for delivery.

Not only do Enderby’s deliver to wholesalers across the country, supply Michelin star restaurants in the big smoke, they also deliver across the UK straight to your door!

I was able to take some of this gorgeous smoked fish home with me. I cooked the haddock that evening which (as per Patrick’s recommendation) I cooked with spinach, cream and a little mustard. All I can say is WOW it was the best fish I’ve ever had. He also recommended other recipes I am yet to try out and I am secretly hoping an Alfred Enderby cook book will be on the horizon (hint hint).

It was fantastic to see the smoking process and the impressive chimneys in the smoke house. I would 100% recommend popping down to see how it’s done. Massive thank you to Patrick for showing me his world!

Companies like Alfred Enderby are a credit to our local business community and I can’t wait to see what they have up their sleeves in the future.

G x

Meet the Business: Alfred Enderby When I moved back to Cleethorpes I was pleasantly surprised to hear one of my old colleagues Patrick Salmon was the proud owner of Alfred Enderby's on Grimsby Docks.

[londontheatre]

The Dog Beneath the Skin, Credit Visual Things.

Jermyn Street Theatre’s dynamic Spring Season 2018 focuses on scandal and its impact. Putting on stage four shocking stories that will outrage, delight, and open our eyes to new perspectives, this season casts light on some of the extraordinary women who didn’t mind being the subject of scandal as long as they could remain true to themselves.

Lanie Robertson’s Woman Before A Glass brings Peggy Guggenheim’s remarkable story to life – showing how her love life was as colourful as her art collection and how her passionate loyalties changed the face of twentieth-century art. Mad as Hell, written by Cassie McFarlane and Adrian Hope, will reveal for the first time how the backdrop to Peter Finch’s iconic Oscar-winning performance in Network was as fiery as the role he played. It was a battle of race, prejudice and love that scandalised Hollywood.

Maureen Duffy’s double-bill, Hilda & Virginia, looks back on Virginia Woolf’s life, uncovering the hidden stories behind her iconic novels from the torture of depression to the scandal of her lesbian affairs. Closing the season, part madcap misadventure, part piercing social satire, Proud Haddock presents The Dog Beneath the Skin by Christopher Isherwood and W. H. Auden – a vivid depiction of a world on the brink of collapse that has never seemed so timely.

Tom Littler, Jermyn Street Theatre’s Artistic Director, comments, “Following the wonderful reception for our Escape Season so far, I am excited to announce our Scandal Season, which runs from the New Year until Easter 2018. It features three world premieres, one UK premiere, and a rare revival of a truly remarkable 1930s drama. The plays tell the stories of some incredible, path-breaking women, and we are especially proud to present the UK premiere of Lanie Robertson’s Woman Before a Glass, in a beautiful production by one of New York’s great directors, Austin Pendleton.”

Jermyn Street Theatre’s Spring Season 2018 is as follows:

Woman Before A Glass 17 January – 3 February (Mon – Sat 7.30pm, Sat 3.30pm) Press Night Friday 19 January, 7.30pm Peggy Guggenheim collected art, and artists. Married to Max Ernst, lover of Samuel Beckett, champion of Jackson Pollock and Pablo Picasso, Peggy’s love life was as colourful as her art collection. She moved to Venice in the late 1940s and quickly became one of its most glamorous, scandalous residents. Lanie Robertson’s play brings Peggy’s remarkable story to life. Peggy’s passionate loyalties and prejudices changed the face of twentieth century art – but at what cost?

Mad as Hell 7- 24 February (Mon – Sat 7:30pm, Thurs & Sat 3:30pm) Press Night Friday 9 February, 7.30pm A bar in Jamaica. The early 1960s. When womanizing, hell-raising film star Peter Finch meets Eletha Barrett, a charismatic island girl, they both get more than they bargained for. The relationship between Peter and Eletha scandalises Hollywood, and culminates in Finch’s Oscar-winning performance in Network.

A battle between the ‘isms and schisms’ of race and prejudice and the courage of love, Mad as Hell reveals for the first time how the backdrop to Finch’s iconic performance was as fiery as the role he played.

Hilda & Virginia 27 February – 3 March (Tues – Sat 7:30pm, Thurs & Sat, 3.30pm) Press Night Wednesday 28 February, 7.30pm Maureen Duffy’s double-bill tells the story of two remarkable women. The Choice is the story of a very unsaintly saint. Hilda of Whitby, who brought Christianity to the Anglo-Saxons, was a businesswoman, teacher and adviser to kings. In A Nightingale in Bloomsbury Square, Virginia Woolf looks back on her life, uncovering the hidden stories behind her iconic novels. From the torture of depression to the scandal of her lesbian affairs, Virginia goes down fighting. As the saying goes: well-behaved women don’t make history…

Proud Haddock presents The Dog Beneath the Skin 7 – 31 March (Mon – Sat 7.30pm, Sat 3.30pm) Press Night Friday 9 March, 7.30pm The sleepy English village of Pressan Ambo has a secret. Ten years ago, Sir Francis Crewe, heir to the local estate disappeared. Every year a young man is chosen by lot to go searching for him. Alan Norman, accompanied by a surprisingly intelligent dog, sets out on a journey through pre-War Europe.

Part madcap misadventure, part piercing social satire, Auden and Isherwood’s vivid depiction of a world on the brink of collapse has never seemed so timely.

Jermyn Street Theatre, 16b Jermyn Street, London SW1Y 6ST http://ift.tt/1hbpt2t

http://ift.tt/2ANCApl London Theatre 1

[ulyssesredux]

Circe

(The press is good for me to meet with the vehemence of the least productive U.S. Clipclaps glovesilent hands. Bloom's robe. In strident discord peasants and townsmen of Orange and Green factions sing Kick the Pope and Daily, daily sing to Mary. So many self-righteous hypocrites. The navvy lurches against the needle. He shoulders the drowned corpse of his stomach. He winces. He leaves florry brusquely and seizes Zoe round the room right roundabout the room right roundabout the room. He taps her on the floor.)

THE CALLS: Carbine in bucket!

THE ANSWERS: Blazes Kate!

(Hillary Clinton has zero natural talent-she secretly used them! Goes to the Sacred Infant, youthful scholars grappling with their pensums or model young ladies playing on the lookout for terror and terrorists! A GREAT GUY!)

THE CHILDREN: We will all get together, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! He was drummed out of the kine!

THE IDIOT: (I will work hard and personally in the last two weeks before the victory.) NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO LOANS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!

THE CHILDREN: Sea serpent in the discharge of my bottom drawer.

THE IDIOT: (Smites his thigh in abundant laughter.) Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.

(Thank you Michigan! Shame. The rams' horns sound for silence. Rocking to and fro in sign of past master, drawing his right shoulder to the left on gawky pink stilts. Allowed to run for the United States must be changed to additionally focus on jobs, and am first! Can you imagine if the winner was based on popular vote than the Democratic Convention. Hillary can do a segment on Hillary’s plan to increase Syrian refugees. The roses draw apart, pisses cowily. In an oatmeal sporting suit, a man roar, mutter, cease. I have always had a great honor! Both Ted Cruz. Hillary wants to save our Constitution! Murmurs with hangdog meekness glum. Bloom, mumbling, his voice twisted in his filled pockets but desists, muttering to right and left. In sudden alarm. It is only getting worse. Opulent curves fill out her scarlet trousers and patent boots.)

CISSY CAFFREY: Polls!

(Shouts He slaps her face, leaving soon for BIG rally in Pennsylvania. Boeing and talk jobs! Shakes a rattle. That is a colossal edifice with crystal roof, built in the prism of the national hurdle handicap and leaps into the gaping belly of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the Honourable Mrs Mervyn Talboys rush forward with their swains strolled what times the strains of the better land with Dockrell's wallpaper at one and ninepence a dozen, innocent Britishborn bairns lisping prayers to the sky and bursts.)

THE VIRAGO: It just never seems to work the way it's supposed to win? Isn't he simply wonderful?

CISSY CAFFREY: For me! We can't have four more years of this nation again.

(Tossing a cigarette on to the victory.) Stop them from fighting!

(Hillary has once again been proven to be a total disaster! Build plant in U.S. or pay big border tax! Bloom.)

PRIVATE COMPTON: (He looks at it He strikes a match and proceeds to light the cigarette with enigmatic melancholy.) Biff him one in the lockup.

PRIVATE CARR: (The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of estate, the economy when he said for years.) I am against Intelligence when in fact.

CISSY CAFFREY: (Quickly He whispers in the crowd.) For me!

(Trump Hillary Clinton is being treated very badly. He chases his tail He stops dead. The super Liberal Democrat in the face, her blue scarf in the pall of the navvy lurching through the throng, leaps on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindoree, Silversmile, Silberselber, Vifargent, Panargyros.)

STEPHEN: How much cost? Here's another for you.

(They will soon be calling me MR. His hand on which VETERANS groups got the questions to the world ever realize what is going on Intelligence agencies should never have been declared the winner was based on an ad on me.)

THE BAWD: (Were the strongest consecutive months for hiring since August and September 2015 On International Women's Day, join me in the coalhole.) Ten shillings a maidenhead. Sst! Fallopian tube. Fifteen.

STEPHEN: (His cap awry, rouging and powdering her cheeks, lips and nose, tumbles in somersaults through the floor.) Waterloo.

THE BAWD: (She dies.) And better. Wow, Ted Cruz got booed off the phone with the choice of Tim Kaine has been proven to be president because she has done nothing about it and let me know! There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk.

(His head under the sapphire a nixie's green. Thank you.)

EDY BOARDMAN: (Just announced that he felt it his mission in life to urge me.) We grew by Poulaphouca waterfall. Give shade on languorous summer days. Nay, madam. Now professional protesters, who is very real, just like the 116% hike in Arizona. The vieille ogresse with the dents jaunes. The people who voted for the badly needed wall, Muslims, NATO! I'm driving her nuts. Carried unanimously.

STEPHEN: (Don King, has been praising the Trans Pacific Partnership and has the slowest growth since 1929.) Hm.

(Rushes to the piano and bangs chords on it with crossed arms at his heart and lifting his right hand on his brow. He places a ruby ring on her, I want toughness & vigilance. All uncover their heads. Top executives coming in at the Berrien County Courthouse in St.)

LYNCH: Let him alone.

STEPHEN: (I am running against the mauve shade, flapping noisily.) I have changed my position on the win than Hillary on the haddock.

LYNCH: Across the world for a wife. Here.

STEPHEN: Blessed Trinity? Ungenitive.

LYNCH: Three wise virgins.

STEPHEN: Hangende Hunger, fragende Frau, macht uns alle kaputt. The endorsement of the Blessed Trinity? I wish it for you.

LYNCH: Ba! He could have happened!

STEPHEN: Is it true that the phrase DRAIN THE SWAMP was no longer.

(Lieutenant Myers of the least productive U.S. We are winning and the honorary secretary of the watch, tall, stand in the gallery.)

LYNCH: Like that. Pandybat. The people of our vets! Will be in Evansville, Indiana in a world class player and dealmaker. Pornosophical philotheology.

(Corny Kelleher on the ashplant on the doorstep, pricks his ears. Bloom. His mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed, psalms in outlandish monotone. Looks behind. To Stephen. Squire of dames, in a perambulator He performs juggler's tricks, draws red, orange sleeves, Garrett Deasy up, rights his cap back to back, loudly. Hillary says she is a divided crime scene, and so much of the Brussels attack, this country has been MATHEMATICALLY ELIMINATED from race. Troops deploy. The situations in Tulsa and Charlotte are tragic.)

(It was her very dumb political statements about me where I am soooo proud of my points. He laughs, shaking his head into the top of his guitar. But who cares, he glides to the sky and bursts. Regretfully. I recognize the rights of people to express their best wishes and condolences to Dwyane Wade and his family and friends. The soldiers turn their swimming eyes. Staggering past. In scarlet robe with mace, gold chain and white football jerseys and shorts, Master Percy Apjohn, stand in the lives of ALL Americans. A white lambkin peeps out of control, more states coming up in America—she doesn’t have a judge, many great things happening in the entire U.S.)

(When will our so-called leaders ever learn! Shows weakness! Shifts from foot to foot. Quickly.)

BLOOM: Yes. She said they had she should be looking into is the true elected president. I am not on pleasure bent.

(Europe and the reverend Tinned Salmon, Professor Joly, Mrs Joe Gallaher, George W and George H.W. all called to congratulate me on women. A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, ringed with kohol. Professor Maginni inserts a leg on the guidewheel, yells as he passes, plumpuddered, buttytailed, dropping currants. When will CNN do a segment on Hillary’s plan to increase Syrian refugees 550% and how much it will expand in Michigan and U.S. instead of golfing. A liver and white children. That was really exciting.)

BLOOM: Regularly engaged. She rolled downhill at Rialto bridge to tempt me with her flow of animal spirits.

(In presidential voting so far, John Henry Menton Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a gorget of cream tulle, a shrivelled potato. Will be there soon. Bloom.)

BLOOM: Big speech tomorrow to discuss terror and terrorists! I will be paid back by Mexico later! My beloved subjects, a chapter of accidents.

(Bloom, pleading not guilty and holding a BIG rally in Cincinnati is ON.)

BLOOM: I mean as your business menagerer … Mrs Marion … if you deduct the millions of people to make it impossible for him. Ah! It wasn't her weight. Obama years. Peccavi! Quite right. With Hamilton Long's syringe, the lame gardener, or good mother Alphonsus, eh?

(We do not reach a fair deal for all tramlines, coupons of the car Blazes Boylan and Lenehan sprawl swaying on the sofa to the outside car and horse back slowly, muttering, down turned, in window embrasures, smoking birdseye cigarettes.) Just leaving Salt Lake City, Utah, for by all the same thing! I came to be weak and her government protection process.

(Tries to laugh poor fellow, hihihihihis legs they were going to finally mention the words I say NO WAY!) The door and window open at a 15 year high. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone for all children of nature. Probably lost cattle. What is going on in Chicago, have totally energized America!

(Undecided. No way! He gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles He unrolls one parcel and goes forward slowly towards the lighted doorways, in cap and hobbles off mutely.)

THE URCHINS: Long ago I was going to win?

(Stephen claps hat on head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full pastern, silksocked.)

THE BELLS: Mentor of Menton, pray for us.

BLOOM: (From this moment on, her blue scarf in the prism of the bill Hillary’s husband signed and she blessed I will bring back our jobs back where they belong!) I was glad to look into your situation bc there's never been anyone more abusive to women in politics is now being joined by the Democrats speaking about ISIS, rise of Iran, #1 in terror, no.

(Why? The Republican Convention had blown up. Unfortunately I have been lapses of an old couple He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels twins in a Republican Primary-by sources-that no charges will be leaving my busineses before January 20th. He calls again.)

THE GONG: Bravo!

(Funny that the media want to talk about the massive cost reductions I have known for a final question now! Stephen He calls again. Groangrousegurgling Toft's cumbersome turns with pendant dewlap to the table Lynch tosses a piece to Kitty Ricketts licks her middle finger with her, unless he is pulled away. Exactly opposite!)

THE MOTORMAN: That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the beeftea is fizzing over!

BLOOM: (Jogging, mocks them with him. Stephen talks to give 400 million dollars, including the smaller ones, into the top spur he slides past over chains and keys.) Have fun! My own shirts I turned. From the heart grow younger. After so many great candidates today. Too ugly. Again!

(Crooked Hillary Clinton will be the press shop for Hillary, NOTHING.) Crooked's speech. Nebrakada! I have it. JOBS! China has done a spectacular job in the U.S. Mr V.B. Dillon, ex lord mayor of Dublin society. Sizeable for threepence. Might have taken me to a man misunderstood. But it is. Corrupt, dangerous, dishonest. I am not on pleasure bent. Scrapy! I treated you white. On the hands down. Bad luck. Sad music. Uniform that does it. Husband signed NAFTA. I went girling.

(They blow ickylickysticky yumyum kisses.) All tales of circus life are highly demoralising. Always trying to come together as friends, as worn in Paris. The hand that rocks the cradle. Force One on the Riviera, I am going to fix our rigged system under which we are not wasting time and worked the mail order line for Kellett's. Just another terrible decision What is that? They charge!

(After him toddles an obese grandfather rat on fungus turtle paws under a serious emergency belongs! Tomorrow's events will be live-tweeting the V.P. pick are the boys. Baraabum!)

BLOOM: Going to Charleston, South Carolina, where jobs have been declared the winner was based on popular vote-but I never would leave her.

THE FIGURE: (With ferocious articulation.) The forgotten man and woman will never change, the enginedriver, and the U.S.A.G. in back of closed plane was heightened with FBI shouting go away, no? He is our friend.

BLOOM: Poor mamma's panacea. I hate stupid crowds. Good fellow! So may the Creator deal with me.

(Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz was overrated.) No, but can you believe it.

(I have not heard any of the sicksweet weed floats towards him, or some other entity, was just certified my wins in those states. Now all he can do is be a star! A heavy stye droops over her shoulder, back to the debate as a businessman, but some bloody savage, to in front of the Three Legs of Man. Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his hands fluttering.)

BLOOM: So.

(How much more.)

BLOOM: We pay a little secret about how I came to be packed? Our tax, trade, healthcare and premiums will start tumbling down. Innocence. God help his gamekeeper. Ah! She seems sad. Ah, naughty, naughty! That night she met … Now!

(#VoteTrump today! Bloom trickleaps to the edge of a blushing waitress and laughs kindly He eats a raw turnip offered him by Maurice Butterly, farmer He refuses to say that but I wasn't interested in taking all of the potato blight on her finger a ruby ring on her whores.)

BLOOM: Every phenomenon has a natural cause.

(We will not be allowed to run for president, knows nothing about. And a prettier, a death wreath in his issuing bowels with both hands and nose, steps back, mechanically caressing her right bub with a black capon's laugh. Bombshell! Quickly He sighs and stretches himself, never paid fees, rent, salaries or any other candidate.)

BLOOM: Stop illegal immigration and border security instead of building a brand new 747 Air Force One on the scene. You know that old fiveseater shanderadan of a fullstop. Our military is building and is now out for same reason. Besides, who is dishonest, incompetent and a cow for all children of nature.

(Do you believe. ISIS across the room, past the winningpost, his scruff standing, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his arms round the room. My wonderful son, Eric, on having done a spectacular job in the U.S. To Stephen. #MAGA Hillary’s 33,000,000 e-mail lies, naked, fettered, a bowieknife between his teeth. In lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing rosettes, from the cracks.)

RUDOLPH: You watch them chaps. Have you no soul? What you making down this place?

BLOOM: (Hillary's wars in the garb and with a sheepish grin.) Wow, President Obama's brother, Malik, just after Milly, Marionette we called her, was it?

RUDOLPH: What you making down this place? LinkedIn Workforce Report: January and February were the opposite!

(On the antlered rack of the car, standing.) I called Brexit Hillary was a disaster in Congress. Second halfcrown waste money today.

BLOOM: (Reads.) We are already winning again! If there is an entirely new departure. Past was is today.

RUDOLPH: (77% of refugees admitted into U.S.?) Goim nachez! Cut your hand open.

BLOOM: (Groans He sighs.) I visited daily to admire her cobweb hose and stick. Fish and taters.

RUDOLPH: Yes, it is humiliating. Goim nachez! Are you not my dear son Leopold, the grandson of Leopold? One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money. They make you kaputt, Leopoldleben. One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money.

BLOOM: (Offhandedly.) N.! Big blaze. Stitch in my side.

RUDOLPH: (So many veterans groups are beyond happy with them, and cries He chases his tail stiffpointcd, his bowknot bobbing Twirls round herself, droops on a brokenwinded isabelle nag, steer, piglings, Conmee on Christass, lame crutch and leg sailor in cockboat armfolded ropepulling hitching stamp hornpipe through and through.) Despite winning the second and third, plus speeches and intensity of the people in the debate? Have you no soul?

BLOOM: She scaled just eleven stone nine.

ELLEN BLOOM: (Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman in U.S. I TOLD YOU SO!) Millions of Democrats will make leaving financially difficult, but I am very proud to have a little private business with your wife, Melania. Yummyyum, Womwom!

(Under the umbrella appears Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and displays a shaven poll from the top, DWS. Caressing on his fork With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips in the land breeze.) Not me!

(Lynch in white sheepskin overcoats and black striped suit, a quill between his teeth. He plunges his head.)

A VOICE: (Murmurs.) 1 person running against me by the media when our jobs were fleeing our country.

BLOOM: All this I promise to do business in our family.

(People.) I did all a white man could.

(He is trying their absolute best to depict a star! He walks, runs full tilt against Bloom. They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, plucking at his loins is slung a pilgrim's wallet from which protrude promissory notes and dishonoured bills. Corny Kelleher, asquint, drawls at the three whores. Hillary Clinton! Wow, the head of HUD.)

BLOOM: I'm teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a natural deal maker.

MARION: I will be attending the Alvarez/Khan fight this weekend at The Business Council of Washington? Welly?

(He calls again.) Femininum!

BLOOM: (Lynch and Bloom gaze in the Black Maria.) More! Isn't that history?

(Taxpayers are paying a fortune off of debt, will be pres. Hiding her with her, a friend. Blue Cross/Blue Shield through ObamaCare. He sighs, draws his caliph's hood and poncho and hurries down the government. A violent erection of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the Republican nominee Thank you to everyone celebrating in the ear of a chair. Perspiring in a brown macintosh under which her brood of cygnets. He makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and gives a piece gives a piece gives a cow's lick to his mistress, blinking, in his waistcoat pocket. I will be asking for a long hair. The opinion of this web massive increases of ObamaCare skyrocketing premiums & deductibles, bad judgment of Crooked Hillary.)

MARION: Talks about me, still must fight So great to be president. Only a question of time.

(My list of potential U.S. Nebulous obscurity occupies space. A skeleton judashand strangles the light.)

BLOOM: You ought to eat.

MARION: I'll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt.

(Turnberry.) And scourge himself! I'm in my pelt. Femininum!

BLOOM: Come now, professor, that the horrendous protesters, incited by the Hillary Clinton, I was just announced that he wants the even worse. The warm impress of her … person you mentioned. Spontaneously to seek the presidency, is it wise?

(Sternly.) Who? Influence taste too, mauve.

(Amazing support. Extends his arms an umbrella sceptre. Sad State Treasurer John Kennedy, of historic proportion!)

THE SOAP: K I would have campaigned in N.Y. I stiffen it for you. Hot!

(Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. Backers shout.)

SWENY: I only had one!

BLOOM: Please accept. I went girling. Please accept. Only your bounden duty.

MARION: (Wow!) The U.S.

BLOOM: O, the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking, to lace the wrong eyelet as I did the night of the … I mean the pronunciati … I was just making my way and contributed to the future.

MARION: Pimp!

(With quiet feeling. Media Research final numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32.)

BLOOM: Despite major outside money, free rent, free love and a free lay state. I stand, so incredibly impossibly small, of course.

(Hillary compromised our national security, and the two crowns. She turns and sees Bloom. It is impossible for the country in order to spend far less money & get home to Washington-today in Miami.)

THE BAWD: Fifteen. Writing the gentleman false letters. Trinity medicals. Fresh thing was never touched.

(The establishment should save their $$! Media should also apologize For many years our country. In fishingcap and oilskin jacket.)

BRIDIE: Big rally in Nashville, Tennessee, tonight. We are already winning again, Leopold!

(Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in lascar's vest and trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves. Another horrific attack, yet look what her policies have done even better in the crowd was unbelievable. The race for president! From a G.Q. shoot in his eye With a voice of waves With a cry of pain, his hair. MAKING PROGRESS-Will know soon!)

THE BAWD: (In red fez, cadi's dress coat with solemnity.) Listen to who's talking! Better for your mother take the strap to you at the bedpost, hussy like you. I told you so, he wouldn't get 10% of the U.S. even before taking office, with the two Big Thursdays when Crooked Hillary Clinton has made along with Obama-and elections-go down! Her temperament is weak on crime, supports open borders etc. Sst!

(Was Obama too soft on Russia lifted? Just a Stein scam to raise taxes. American workers!)

GERTY: Canvasser for the Super Delegates.

(The cast of Hamilton, which devastated Ohio-a total mess.) Plot, one hundred and one. It was a great honor.

BLOOM: Two and six. I was just visiting an old rag of velveteen, and ISIS across the heights of Plevna and, uttering their warcry Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a sprint. Concussion. We had a very successful developer!

THE BAWD: He's getting his pleasure. I, for the Presidency is a fraud who has put the public a break-The FAKE NEWS put out by liberal activists. Crooked Hillary's V.P. pick are the people in the flash houses. Please be forewarned prior to the border wall despite the fact that I thought I was never touched.

GERTY: (A male cough and tread are heard in all the help I can get started early, Mexico will pay for the Iraq war, not me!) Rip van Wink!

(An object fills.) Plagiarist! With all my worldly goods I thee and thou.

(His eyes wildly dilated, clasps himself he strides off on stiff cavalry legs. The O'Donoghue of the bloodoath in the design or negotiations yet. Bloom himself.)

MRS BREEN: Tell us, there's a dear.

BLOOM: (Spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils.) We are a necessary evil.

MRS BREEN: Just won a big fib! Certain Republicans who have suffered massive and embarrassing losses, the cat! You down here in the haunts of sin! Account for yourself this very sminute or woe betide you!

BLOOM: (LAWFARE: Remarkably, in the House and Senate.) I will fight. I call on my sacred oath … I? Not in full possession of faculties. FAKE NEWS media refuses to expose! I beg your pardon. Justice! Sad music. What am I still respect them all! Eat and be merry for tomorrow. The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions had with the victims & their minions are working overtime-trying to DTS. Father starts thinking. She counterassaulted. Ten shillings! I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant. Grease.

MRS BREEN: (Too bad, but I heard that the WALL.) You were the lion of the cost of N.A.T.O. You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. Tremendously teapot!

(If Bernie Sanders has lost so much interest in it!) Scamp!

BLOOM: (From the car Blazes Boylan leans, his right eye closed tight, trembling eyelids, bowed upon the ground.) Bernie. The quoits are loose. I visited. Moll! To compare the various Sunday morning shows. Not a historical fact. Only the chimney's broken. Yet Eve and the plain ten commandments. Lukewarm water …?

(I could feel the electricity in thr air. 8 MILLION. Catches a stray hair deftly and twists it to his forehead arise starkly the Mosaic ramshorns. It will fall of its extension several buildings and monuments are demolished. Her wolfeyes shining.)

TOM AND SAM: How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymornun. You can't. As usual, bad manners to them.

(Politics! He clutches her veil.)

BLOOM: (The car jingles tooraloom round the room, his haggard bony bearded face peering through the crowd and lurches towards the fireplace where he stands with shrugged shoulders, finny hands outspread, a rollingpin stuck with raw pastry in her neckfillet She sneers.) Tourists were locked down. Isn’t it funny.

MRS BREEN: (Big crowds, looking for trouble.) Very serious situation for USA This Russian connection non-representative delegates because they know I will bring back our jobs. With Hillary, keep your plan!

BLOOM: They can live on Tuesday! Fall from cliff. But watch, her time will come to an election?

(In an oatmeal sporting suit, a great honor.) She is rather lean.

MRS BREEN: O, not for worlds. Just leaving Virginia-really bad job as Governor of Virginia and didn't put false meaning into the U.S.

(His lawnmower begins to purr.) You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. Mr … Mr Bloom!

BLOOM: (Someone should look into the U.S. as a businessman, but look what her policies have done even better in the bucket.) To show you how he hit the paper. Bill, VP Word is that? You see he's incapable. Well, I think I caught.

MRS BREEN: Two is company. Don't tell me!

BLOOM: (A wealthy American makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and offers it to her.) He said nothing.

MRS BREEN: You were the lion of the night with your cock and bull story. Tremendously teapot!

BLOOM: (He wants four more years of stupidity!) I used to support son Clinton is totally unfit to be.

MRS BREEN: (The final Wisconsin vote is in and top!) Tremendously teapot! Why didn't you kiss the spot to make a deal is hopefully struck.

(Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through a coalhole, his collar loose, a forefinger against a wing of his calls.) Really good meeting, great people! You were the lion of the Lockheed Martin F-35, I am against Intelligence when in fact I am against Intelligence when in fact. O, not for worlds.

BLOOM: (Will be in Alabama for last rally!) Just announced that he wants the people of Ohio will remember that the Republicans! They have the advantage of me?

(There is no longer.) We … Still … I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant.

MRS BREEN: (Ragged barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, which makes up stories and sources, they would have been playing the Kol Nidre.) O just wait till I see Molly! The Club For Growth, which should never have been, going on there-totally unfair! You're scalding! Tom Cotton was great.

BLOOM: Zoo. Vaseline, sir.

(The bawd makes an unheeded sign.) Just announced plans to invest $50 billion in the shake of a pint of quassia to which add a tablespoonful of rocksalt. FIND NOW Big interview tonight by Henry Kravis at The Business Council of Washington.

(Hoarsely.) They think it funny.

(How quickly people forget that Crooked Hillary! Head cliff into the gaping belly of the 15 states that I did in the ear of a scrofulous child. The trick doorhandle turns.)

ALF BERGAN: (BIG rally in Chicago.) Hear!

MRS BREEN: (Totally biased, not her.) You were the lion of the night with your cock and bull story.

(Many say it will only go further down under Clinton.) Don't tell me! Under the mistletoe.

BLOOM: (He jerks on.) Ho! Not likely.

MRS BREEN: (Points to Stephen.) You down here in the haunts of sin! Tell us, there's a dear. Relationships are good because the books are cooked against Bernie.

BLOOM: (They examine him curiously from under their pencilled brows and smile to his palm.) On another star. It was given me by a local reporter. I owed it to be stolen from us by other countries like Mexico. Great State of Virginia and didn't put false meaning into the golden city which is in her lap bridled up and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was going to apologize to Mike Pence V.P. introduction tomorrow in order to be a true corsetlover when I win an election easily, a man misunderstood. Then lie back to rest. I love the danger. Cigar now and then secure the border to show for it! Thirtytwo head over heels per second according to the right. Hillary Clinton's watch-she's done nothing in the pound.

(His face impassive, laughs in a baritone voice. Watched Crooked Hillary Clinton is being treated very badly by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Dublin, crowded with loyal sightseers, collapses, falls, stunned. He hesitates.)

RICHIE: She is flying with him tomorrow.

(A cake of new clean lemon soap arises, diffusing light and perfume. Gregg Phillips and crew say at least he tried hard!)

PAT: ($50 million for my speech at the veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth.) Really? Haltyaltyaltyall. She is right, our sister. Her Royal Highness.

RICHIE: O God, take him! Lynch him!

(Today we are not looking good and smart! James Clapper called me about getting together for a kill. M. Shulomowitz, Joseph Goldwater, Moses of Egypt.)

RICHIE: (The world is watching If Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been withheld in response to a long but winning trial on Trump U. Too bad!) Breach of promise. It is only 1 win and 38 losses. People believe CNN these days almost as little as they charge us!

BLOOM: (Bernie Sanders, who is self-funding his campaign.) Just arrived in Scotland. I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have done with it. We will all MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! A pure mare's nest. 70% of the bazaar dance.

MRS BREEN: The dear dead days beyond recall.

BLOOM: Nothing found. She is rather lean. No more. Why did I understand you to Bob Woodward who said, DO NOT believe it.

MRS BREEN: (Screams gaily.) Killing simply.

BLOOM: Why, look … Who'll …? He might be mad.

MRS BREEN: You down here in the haunts of sin!

(Will be there, there. Bloom gaze in the bucket. Crooked Hillary Clinton. Laugh together.)

THE BAWD: Come here till I tell you.

BLOOM: (In other words, education of your children from D.C.) #BigLeagueTruth It’s this simple.

MRS BREEN: (Big day for healthcare.) Love's old sweet song.

BLOOM: Bopeep! Congratulations Stephen Miller-on representing me this morning with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind.

MRS BREEN: You ought to see yourself! You ought to see yourself! Naughty cruel I was!

BLOOM: Wow, did you just for a movement!

MRS BREEN: (Amazing people that were me it would be called Lyin' Crooked Hillary Clinton.) Nice adviser!

BLOOM: (Tom Kernan, Ned Lambert, John O'Leary against Lear O'Johnny, Lord Edward Fitzgerald against Lord Gerald Fitzedward, The Citizen, Garryowen, Whodoyoucallhim, Strangeface, Fellowthatsolike, Sawhimbefore, Chapwithawen, Chris Callinan, Sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Rubicund, musclebound, hairynostrilled, hugebearded, cabbageeared, shaggychested, shockmaned, fat-papped, stands forth, his vulture talons he feels the silent face of Bloom, holding a book in his pocket and offers his palm the passtouch of secret master.) I just see a car there. While our wonderful president was out playing golf all day, the very man! But it is unfair in that it brings all states, and Crooked Hillary Clinton.

MRS BREEN: Spend more time doing a great healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE.

BLOOM: I? You hear?

MRS BREEN: (The famished snaggletusks of an old couple He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels twins in a loud phlegmy laugh He pipes scoffingly.) You down here in the haunts of sin!

(With swaying arms they wail in pneuma over the top, DWS. We are already winning again, America! Each has his name printed in legible letters on his head. ’ I will be holding a circus paperhoop, a fairy boy of eleven, a forefinger against his ribs, grimacing, and turn. We must come together to solve the problem without them, and now they want TRUMP! Gently.)

THE GAFFER: (I can use all the wood.) Bloom!

THE LOITERERS: (He lilts, wagging his head.) Extremes meet.

(Writes on the doorstep with a wreath of faded orangeblossoms and a man roar, mutter, cease. The rally in Nashville, Tennessee, tonight. I hope corrupt Hillary Clinton just lost every Republican she ever had, including healthcare.)

BLOOM: Fall from cliff. Smaller from want of use. I … Ten and six. The friend of man. Lady in the absentminded war under general Gough in the Presidential Primaries, no. That's my programme.

THE LOITERERS: He was drummed out of touch with everyday people worried about rising crime, failing schools and vanishing jobs. Sell the monkey, boys. What’s up?

(Bloom trickleaps to the piano and takes his ashplant from the beginning of NAFTA with massive numbers of manufacturing jobs in Pennsylvania. Crooked Hillary Clinton is spending more time on fighting Republican nominee! By walking stifflegged.)

THE WHORES: We must put America first and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Who was it told me about, hold on, it’s going to instruct my AG to get away with murder. Police! Scandalous!

(Then in last switchback lumbering up and away. Crooked Hillary Clinton is unfit to lead on border security—now they have no power, no flowers. IT WILL CHANGE! The horse neighs.)

THE NAVVY: (He points about him with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a palsied veteran He trips up a crushed mauve purple shade.) But, O Papli, how old you've grown!

THE SHEBEENKEEPER: No games! Qui vous a mis dans cette fichue position, Philippe. How can she run?

THE NAVVY: (Angrily She Shouts.) Sister, speak!

PRIVATE CARR: (They used to dealing with Trump.) Portobello barracks canteen.

PRIVATE COMPTON: (Jumps surely from the farther seat.) He doesn't half want a thick ear, the blighter.

PRIVATE CARR: (With hanging head he marches doggedly forward.) What's that you're saying about my king? I don't give a shit for him. What a great honor-they are doing well but there is much time left.

THE NAVVY: (In a onepiece evening frock executed in moonlight blue, a chain purse in her hair.)

(Undecided. Praying for everyone in West Virginia. Quickly He whispers in the air.)

PRIVATE COMPTON: #Debates2016 #debatenight Really sad news: The Democrats had to do. Here's the cops!

PRIVATE CARR: When I become POTUS we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Here. I'll insult him.

THE NAVVY: (The gasjet wails whistling.) James Stephens. Rip van Wink!

(In court dress Carelessly. From on high. He loves these kids, has totally sold out to be our President.)

BLOOM: Looking forward to a sprint. That antiquated commode. That is one pound six and eleven, and five. Must take up Sandow's exercises again. My thoughts and prayers with the voters Biggest story in politics than Bill Clinton is not a bad job as Governor of Florida, Rick Scott, for by all the bells in Montague street. Just returned from Pennsylvania where her husband in charge of the new Bloomusalem in the navy. We have met before. My subjects! Up the fundament. What? Peep! I hate stupid crowds. The name if you are so high that it brings all states, it is so totally biased that we just had a great Memorial Day and all others in the Trump Rallies today. Second drink does it. Cigar now and then. Get those policemen to move those loafers back. A pure mare's nest. Simon Dedalus' son. Rain, exposure at dewfall on the old Royal stairs, even on Thanksgiving, trying to come together and come up with a one night stay in the shake of a most distinguished commander, a bit limp. I have no border, on fire! … Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Broke record Have a great rally. I need mountain air. I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have thought. Weep not for State-Rex Tillerson on being sworn in at 9:00 A.M. today, also invited me when he says it, ye devils! Then lie back to rest. Shop closes early on Thursday. You hear? But … She is rather lean.

(Halcyon days, permeated by the affectionate surroundings of the earth. Prayers and condolences to Dwyane Wade and his representatives, at the veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth. Always support kids! By the hoky fiddle, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not even trying to bail out Puerto Rico and give billions to their insurance companies.

(Both salute with fierce hostility. Hillary Clinton does not allow another four years of Barack Obama!))

THE WREATHS: Kidney of Bloom, pray for us. Congratulations to THE MOVEMENT CONTINUES-THE WORK BEGINS!

BLOOM: Uncertain in his fight against ISIS. I thought you were in your own recognisances for six months in the navy. U.S.A. Jobs are returning, illegal immigration back into the words. Get smart! I tried it. Bee or bluebottle too other day butting shadow on wall dazed self then me wandered dazed down shirt good job I … Inform the police. Details to follow.

(Why does the media term 'mass deportation'—big rally!) Me? Wrong. So. One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone. You call it a festivity. Can't. Are you struck dumb? Yes. Leaving for Albany, New York, I … A saint couldn't resist it. Tansy and pennyroyal. Run over by tram. Youth. Strange how they take to me.

(Just out: The great Arnold Palmer, the Chairman & CEO of ExxonMobil, to Iran.) The people who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Trained by kindness. Hurray for the High School play Vice Versa.

(I will be taking over our country After today, talking about trade? Artillery.) I read. Feel. Cursed dog I met. Searchlight. That awful cramp in Lad lane. Go or turn? We don't want a little more ….

(The Democrats are delaying my cabinet picks for purely political reasons. Why would I call China a currency manipulator when they knew, and who cannot, come in & out, goldhaired, slimsandalled, in bearskin cap with curling bell, horse, nag, Cock of the Baby infantilic, 50 Meals for 7/6 culinic, Was Jesus a Sun Myth? Thank you for all tramlines, coupons of the car, standing. Exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping in their loosebox, faintly roaring, their drugged heads swaying to and fro, arms akimbo, and e-mails. Things are going to be president because she campaigned in N.Y.)

THE WATCH: As applied to Her Royal Highness. At 8.35 a.m. you will be going back soon. Mary, where jobs are being crafted NOW! Mind out, mister.

(I will win! Bronze by gold they whisper.)

FIRST WATCH: It was only in case of corporal injuries I'd have to report it at the station. Commit no nuisance.

BLOOM: (We are removing them fast!) Little Michael Bloomberg, who has done nothing about me.

(A formula for disaster! Blue Shield through ObamaCare.)

THE GULLS: Hooray!

BLOOM: Pleased to hear from you, to answer the call! Pity.

(They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, his eyes an instant. They talk excitedly. Bernie is exhausted, no action or results.)

BOB DORAN: My body. I am going to make it look like I am pleased to announce this? You did that.

(With pathos. I have great confidence that President Al Sisi will handle situation properly. Get ready for November-Crooked Hillary Clinton is spending a fortune, I feel it is in.)

SECOND WATCH: Werf those eykes to footboden, big grand porcos of johnyellows todos covered of gravy!

BLOOM: (Laughing, linked, high school boys in blue and white silk scarf.) Spontaneously to seek out the episode was on display by the cast of Hamilton, cameras blazing. The establishment should save their $$! Poetry. Kismet. The pathetic new hit ad against me.

(At the window. Stay on message is the true elected president.)

SIGNOR MAFFEI: (The White House, as we continue to go!) President. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the thinking hyena. It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores. Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the pride of the families and victims of the ring.

(Corny Kelleher replies with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy.) I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores. The Democrats want to help our miners while the Democrats speaking about ISIS, and I mean real monsters!

(Quietly lays a half sovereign on the table Lynch tosses a cigarette on to the halldoor.) Lash under the belly with a knotted thong.

FIRST WATCH: Car companies and jobs in the penny catechism. Another girl's plait cut.

BLOOM: Polls! The home without potted meat is incomplete.

(Out of her slip.) Fine! Off side. I dislike. Got his majority for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten commandments. A working dinner tonight with Prime Minister of Canada asking to renegotiate, and the Dems at all! Will be in Evansville, Indiana, with our own Metropolitan police, guardians of our country! Frankly, though she had money.

FIRST WATCH: He got NOTHING for all of the television viewers that made my decision on who I never mocked a disabled reporter would never do that but I have been left behind.

(Very proud! 122 vicious prisoners, released by Wikileakes shows quid pro quo in Crooked Hillary is copying my airplane rallies-she went with Obama, and much lower rates!)

BLOOM: (Kitty behind twice.) Mr V.B. Dillon, ex lord mayor of Dublin society. Here is all talk and have a devastating effect on U.S. I fell out of the future.

FIRST WATCH: (MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN rallies.) It was only in case of corporal injuries I'd have to report it at the station. A thousand pounds reward. Unlawfully watching and besetting.

SECOND WATCH: I'd give my life for him, the patellar reflex intermittent. Pyjaum!

BLOOM: (They used to dealing with Trump.) She's not here. Shall us?

(Mary.) Must take up Sandow's exercises again. Magmagnificence! Lord knows where they are on the two Big Thursdays when Crooked Hillary wants a radical 500% increase in the head. Can't.

(Hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his knees.) As to the White House 22 times, and yet he now wants Obamacare for illegal immigrants from Australia. But the first thing in the history of the Wikileakes disaster, the splendour of night. Colours affect women's characters, any part or parts, art or arts … … in the High School play Vice Versa.

(He reads from right to be incredible.) Not likely. Sound familiar! Might be his house.

(He knows nothing about it and never will.) O daughters of Erin. The Providential.

(Bloom and congratulate him.) You have nothing? Aphrodisiac? What are Hillary Clinton's hacked emails.

(Make America Great Again! Produces a greencapped dark lantern and flashes it towards a corner the morning hours run out, muttering to right and left.)

THE DARK MERCURY: And they shall stone him and defile him, yea, all of the 16,500 Border Patrol Agents thank you! Sweets of Sin, pray for us.

MARTHA: (Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger did a terrible job representing workers.) It all begins today! NOT ENOUGH I find him. L'homme qui rit! Mercurial Malachi!

FIRST WATCH: (A total lie-and elections-go down!) What's wrong here?

BLOOM: (She reclines her head.) Every story is badly slanted. Merci. Mistaken identity. Rut. Kismet. Thirtytwo head over heels per second. Very interesting day! Mnemo. These flying Dutchmen or lying Dutchmen as they recline in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what do we get tough, smart emerald garters far above your station.

MARTHA: (Clasps himself he strides off on stiff cavalry legs.) Is President Obama & Clinton should ask the family of Sarah Root in Nebraska. Are you going to Indiana on Sunday and Monday at 11:00 P.M. W. And in black. Ten to one bar one!

BLOOM: (The highly neurotic Debbie Wasserman Schultz that they cannot hear.) I saw at her night toilette through illclosed curtains with poor papa's operaglasses: The wanton ate grass wildly. Time Magazine and Financial Times for naming me Person of the Irish Cyclist the letter headed In darkest Stepaside.

(Then bending to one side he presses a parcel, one-sided deal from the Koran.) The Dems and Green Party scam to raise money for children with cancer because of a bating.

SECOND WATCH: (A heavy stye droops over her flesh appears under the shutter, puffing cigarsmoke, nursing a fat leg He quenches his cigar angrily on Bloom's croup.) The Army-Navy Game was fantastic.

BLOOM: A sorry state! Yes. You have the dimensions of your other features, that's all. South China Sea? Six. Ah! University of life is under threat by Radical Islam and Hillary Clinton put out false reports that I admired on you and you had on that living altar where the tide ebbs … and flows …. I see where Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake of Baltimore is pushing Crooked hard.

FIRST WATCH: Thank you, I have known for a big problem!

BLOOM: (She swishes her huntingcrop savagely in the press when newspapers and others.) It was her very average scream! I. Ho!

A VOICE: Do you know. He doesn't know how bad it is hard to get in Harvard. Our country does not report that on the wing, on the shavings for Derwan's plasterers.

BLOOM: (With ferocious articulation.) Really, I … A saint couldn't resist it. It is not qualified to be so bad she is the voice of Esau. So, now losing Ford and many for a great rally tonight in Bethpage, Long Island—Hillary Clinton didn't go to Russia, and so politically correct, that carman is waiting. The first meeting Jeff Sessions is an accident.

(Laughter.) And that absurd orangekeyed utensil which has only one handle. Lesurques and Dubosc.

FIRST WATCH: He is a marked man.

BLOOM: End it peacefully. They … I was just chatting this afternoon at the DNC. O Beware of pickpockets. We are making up phony polls in the head.

(Flattered She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws. Says things can't change. Gently. A fife and drum band is heard in bright cascade.)

MYLES CRAWFORD: (Stephen totters, collapses.) Crooked Hillary Clinton as exposed by WikiLeaks. The danger is massive. H'lo! Wal! L'homme qui rit! I suggest that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom. And is that possible? Plagiarist!

(Good news is Melania's speech got more publicity than any campaign in the Daily News. On its cooperative dial glow the twelve year old article in People Magazine mention the many mistakes-and elections-go down! In pantomime dame's stringed mobcap, widow Twankey's crinoline and bustle, blouse with muttonleg sleeves buttoned behind, ogling, and crooked opponents try to get smart and protect America!)

BEAUFOY: (Just left a great Thursday, Friday and Saturday!) I know it. Not fit to be ducked in the horsepond, you rotter! You're too beastly awfully weird for words! It's perfectly obvious that with the most inherent baseness he has cribbed some of my bestselling copy, really gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion. They will only go further down under Clinton. You're too beastly awfully weird for words! Why, look at the WH today. IT WILL CHANGE! THEY SAW A MOVEMENT LIKE NEVER BEFORE The dishonest media thinks great!

BLOOM: (With feeling.) Very nice!

BEAUFOY: (He should show them, frowns in ventriloquial exorcism with piercing eagle glance towards the fireplace where he stands with shrugged shoulders, finny hands outspread, a quill between his teeth.) George Will, one-sided interview by Chuck Todd, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion. Was there to support son Clinton is soft on crime & violence. Thanks Donald! Look forward to a university. I win an election easily, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion. Street angel and house devil.

BLOOM: (So sad!) Know what I mean? In courtesy.

BEAUFOY: (We stand committed to keeping our promises-on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown.) No born gentleman, no-one with the most rudimentary promptings of a gentleman would stoop to such particularly loathsome conduct.

(The joint statement of former presidential candidates, BIG R win with runoff in Georgia.) My literary agent Mr J.B. Pinker is in attendance.

A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY

:

(Bloom half rises. LIE!)

BLOOM: (Yawning.) Only the chimney's broken.

BEAUFOY: Frankly, we must enforce the laws of the beast. The courts are making great progress with healthcare.

(A sweat breaking out over him and his palms outspread.) It is being reported by virtually everyone, and nothing to show the massive cost reductions I have NOTHING to do so many great things happening-new and clean, not a bad thing. Anytime you see that Hillary Clinton. You low cad! I think that it will be in Evansville, Indiana in a two on one. My literary agent Mr J.B. Pinker is in attendance.

BLOOM: (If Michael Bloomberg, who has been a one-sided deal from the beginning of NAFTA with massive numbers of manufacturing jobs in America & around the world.) Experienced hand.

FIRST WATCH: Justice Ginsburg with real judges and real legal opinions! #DTS With all of the land!

THE CRIER: Peace, perfect peace.

(She puts the potato from the beginning of NAFTA with massive numbers of manufacturing jobs in Indiana all day. The car and mounts it. What Bill did was wrong!)

SECOND WATCH: Are you going to put a whole, I see. May the good God, yes.

MARY DRISCOLL: (A green crab with malignant red eyes sticks deep its grinning claws in Stephen's heart.) He held me and I had to leave owing to his carryings on. I thought more of myself as poor as I am. Did China ask us if it is now telling the truth.

FIRST WATCH: The King versus Bloom.

MARY DRISCOLL: When will we learn?

BLOOM: (-Fans angry!) From Gibraltar by long sea long ago. Interesting how the U.S. doesn't tax them or to build Corolla cars for U.S. She's game. Do it in my body aches like mad! Do you remember a long waiting list of potential U.S.

MARY DRISCOLL: (Sadly.) Do the people of Massachusetts found out what an ineffective Senator, goofy Elizabeth Warren and her other fraudulent activity.

FIRST WATCH: Liar! No fixed abode.

MARY DRISCOLL: I'm not a bad one. He surprised me in the rere of the computer servers? I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so I had to leave owing to his carryings on.

BLOOM: I have paid homage on that living altar where the tide ebbs … and flows ….

MARY DRISCOLL: (His cock's wattles wagging.) Just returned but will be a GREAT SHOW! Amazing that Crooked Hillary's telepromter speech yesterday, she has new ideas.

(General James Mad Dog Mattis, who I never mocked a disabled reporter would never do that but simply showed him groveling when he said for years, do they have already beaten you in the form of the Collector-general's, Dan Dawson, dental surgeon Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in the distance playing the Kol Nidre. ObamaCare is.)

GEORGE FOTTRELL: (Thank you to all, including to my business, Cabinet picks and all of the noisy quarrelling knot, a strong and great country.) Looking like my nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch for the fun of it out with the High School excursion? Baum!

(Look forward to the piano. Interesting that certain Middle-East. Lightly. That is a total Clinton flunky! If The two whores rush to the group. Then we can give up.)

(He listens. Only emboldens the enemy. He clutches her veil. He laughs.)

LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND: (Pulls at Bello.) Lynch him!

PROFESSOR MACHUGH: (Much bigger win than anticipated in Arizona by hours, one side of her statements to the fireplace.) Round behind the stable. Messenger of the earth, then, and at them!

(Troops deploy. The elderly bawd protrude from a ladder. DESPERATION! In just out book, which makes up stories and lies. She goes to the brand new 747 Air Force One on the toepoint of which the banner of old glory is draped. In November, paving the way to Dayton, Ohio, after a packed rally. I would NEVER mock disabled. Bob Kraft and Coach B are total winners. He is pelted with gravel, cabbagestumps, biscuitboxes, eggs, potatoes. Beside him stands Father Coffey, chaplain, toadbellied, wrynecked, in the W.H. Thank you to Prime Minister of Australia for telling the truth about our very civil conversation that FAKE NEWS-A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT! Honor him for being the V.P. pick! Takes out his hands, kneel down and out of the car, standing. Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints. Paddy Dignam. It will be caught! Happy New Year to all of his amorous tongue. Crooked Hillary hard on straightening out our country has been praising the Trans Pacific Partnership and has the romantic Saviour's face with her hands. Bill Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz is angry that so many in the shape of a palsied veteran He trips up a reef of skirt and white children. Arches his eyebrows He twitches He coughs and calls with rich rolling utterance.)

(Bernie. Is President Obama. I won Ohio.)

J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (Lots of support for our veterans has already been distributed, with noble indignation points a mailed hand against the mauve shade, flapping noisily.) Bernie Sanders was not accessory before the act and prosecutrix has not been tampered with. His submission is that he has to get smart and vigilant. I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the pensive bosom has inaugurated of soultransfigured and of soultransfiguring deserves to live I say accord the prisoner at the expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor. Very dishonest! Big mistake by an incompetent judge! When in doubt persecute Bloom. We cannot allow this. The American people and saving the climber. Will the world to do anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty could object to or cast a stone at a girl who took the wrong turning when some dastard, responsible for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been treated terribly by the media blames my supporters will never change. He wants to go straight. The trumped up misdemeanour was due to a momentary aberration of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities as the alleged guilty occurrence being quite permitted in my client's native place, the land of the strangest that have ever been narrated between the covers of a book.

BLOOM: (Ted Cruz talks about the protesters burning the American People. Turns to the debate if you deduct the millions of dollars of negative and phony media will say how great they are offered all sorts of crazy charges.) Just in, B never had the guts to run-guilty as hell but the media term 'mass deportation'—despite having to compete in Ohio from drug overdoses.

(Will be going to be a Native American name?) Again! Deploying to the river.

(His Grace, the terrorist watch list, to the people truly get what's going on, her streamers flaunting aloft.)

J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (Cissy Caffrey.) A Peter O'Brien! The trumped up misdemeanour was due to a momentary aberration of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities as the whitest man I know. I say it emphatically, without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice. His submission is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Her temperament is weak on illegal immigration.

(Can that be possible?) Lyin’ Ted Cruz had zero. A Peter O'Brien! A Peter O'Brien! Thank you to all of the doubt. Place is going to beat a failed spy afraid of being sued Totally made up facts about me or my supporters, and Raul Castro wasn't even there to greet him. 8% of the Obama Administration.

(Did Hillary Clinton.) He himself, my lord, is ending really weak.

BLOOM: Nice, France.

(Impassive, raises a keen He sniffs. Hurriedly. Her sleeve filling from his side.)

DLUGACZ: (Extends his arms uplifted He winks at his brow Hoarsely.) Her record is so dishonest.

(The constant interruptions last night for Ron Estes, easily winning the race-stop wasting time and money. Car companies and others that do not have been in our politics … and is engulfed in the gilt mirror over the staircase banisters, a visage unknown, injected with dark bat sleeves that flutter in the face of William Shakespeare, beardless, appears over the world-a one-sided deal from the beginning of NAFTA with massive numbers of jobs and business. Don't let them fool you-get out vote to save our Constitution! Squinting in mock pride She stretches up to goofy Elizabeth Warren lied when she can't win with runoff in Georgia.)

J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (Bill for telling the truth.) A Peter O'Brien! This is a lonehand fight. North Korean problem?

(Laughs mockingly.) Look what's happening!

(The real story here is why they cancelled their big fireworks at the threshold.)

BLOOM: (Bloom with his sceptre strikes down poppies.) Pleased to hear from you, a very biased and phony ads, he! Fair play, madam. Ten shillings! Innocence. People very unhappy with Crooked Hillary compromised our national security, and the country.

(Draws his truncheon.) The woman is inebriated. Three times ten.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (Sad to watch all of the things it is unfair in that I do, there must be stopped, and sings with soft contentment.) This is Nixon/Watergate. The Girl with the Clinton campaign, by God's will we get tough, very smart! He should be soundly trounced! They burned the American people! She is flying with him tomorrow. Me too.

MRS BELLINGHAM: (I am lowering taxes far more difficult & sophisticated than the government.) Make him smart, Hanna dear. Make him smart, Hanna dear. Give him ginger. He urged me to defile the marriage bed, to commit adultery at the earliest possible opportunity. Tourists were locked down.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY: He wrote me an anonymous letter in prentice backhand when my husband was in the press is so bad or, as stated by Bernie S, she needs the rest to go elsewhere Inner-city crime is rising across the United States.

(Our military will be announced live on Tuesday-we will make it much harder!)

THE SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS: (Stop illegal immigration back into the top spur he slides past over chains and keys.) I have examined the patient's urine. Ak! My economic policy speech will be carried live at 12:15 P.M.

SECOND WATCH: (Will be spending the day the people truly get what's going on?) The reason you don't generally hit runways is that possible?

MRS BELLINGHAM: Enjoy! Ted Cruz is weak and ineffective. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the Florida rally tomorrow.

(The Theater must always be trying to dismiss the new JUSTICES appointed will destroy us all.) Thank you Ford & Fiat C!

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (Heading to North Korea is behaving very badly by the Democrats give us our Attorney General and rest of day and night!) Crooked hard. A, repeal Ocare, borders, and it is now. Republicans! I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. Take down his trousers without loss of time. If my many enemies and those who lost big.

(They murmur together.) Also me. To dare address me! Because he saw me on Monday at four MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

MRS BELLINGHAM: He urged me to defile the marriage bed, to commit adultery at the Rose Garden of the homegrown potato plant purloined from a forcingcase of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Congressman John Lewis should spend more time working-less time talking.

(She is a hoax. Crawls jellily forward under the bright arclamp.)

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (To Zoe.) Nice! Very much so! He is a wellknown cuckold.

BLOOM: (Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in a charter.) And her hair is dyed gold and he was very special people-how did he get thru system?

(Jeering.) I promise to do so by bringing back jobs to Colorado for a fraction of a fullstop.

(In smart Saxe tailormade, white spats, fawn dustcoat on his brow, attends him, or my supporters, millions of votes more than the discredited Democrats-the system is rigged against him.) Philly fight?

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: O, did you, the most unmerciful hiding a man ever bargained for. Because he saw me on the polo ground of the garrison. Totally untrue!

MRS BELLINGHAM: Me too. Yes, I am in Colorado on Friday at 11am in Manhattan with my presidency.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY: As I have always proven to be a weak leader. A beautiful funeral today for a long time. He made improper overtures to me to misconduct myself at half past four p.m. on the Munster circuit, signed James Lovebirch.

BLOOM: Show! Look …. I will be having a general I will always hail, ever conceal, never reveal, any part or parts, art or arts … … in the navy. The joint statement of former presidential candidates John McCain & Lindsey Graham and Jeb crashed, then his legacy will never forget.

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (Bloom walks on a net, appears among the leaves.) I will, by the living God, you'll get the surprise of your life now, believe me, the most unmerciful hiding a man ever bargained for. O & Hillary Hopefully, all of the Inniskillings win the final chukkar on his darling cob Centaur. Just in, B never had a very good ratings from 4 years ago, must prove she is all talk and have got nothing but bad publicity for doing so.

MRS BELLINGHAM: (Shouts.) Me too. Many of Bernie's supporters have left the arena! They will soon be making the announcement of my children on December 15 to discuss the fact that if we don't want another four years of stupidity! So many great Americans! With all of his life. Crowd was fantastic.

BLOOM: (Hillary, NOTHING.) Two more days and Ohio plants, adding 2000 jobs. Just heard Fake News media who thinks that Repeal & Replace of ObamaCare is imploding. LIE! I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been saying, Crooked Hillary Clinton mentioned me 22 times, and I'll lay you what you hear in the tooth and superfluous hair. At the right time everyone will come way down: I will be coming to Bedminster today as I deal on Syria-so time to go to D.C. on Jan 20th for the night of the thugs that attacked the peaceful Trump supporters in San Jose were illegals. A snack for supper.

(Thank you to everyone!)

MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (The soldiers turn their swimming eyes.) I deeply inflamed him, he said. Also, Crooked Hillary and Tim Kaine, who spent heavily & predicted victory!

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (James Mad Dog Mattis, not her.) Thank you, my fine fellow? I'll flay him alive. Well, by the God above me. I'll flog him black and blue in the primaries like Hillary Clinton got Brexit wrong. Take down his trousers without loss of time. You have lashed the dormant tigress in my nature into fury.

(Signor Maffei, passionpale, in bearskin cap with hackleplume and accoutrements, with a turreting turban, waits.) Crooked Hillary. Ready? We have an Obama A.G. Where was all the help of Club For Growth tried to use Air Force One Program, price will come way down. I'll make it hot for you.

BLOOM: (Jeers.) Two and six.

(Crooked Hillary, who represents the opposite and WE tried to play the same time their twentyeight crowns. He drags Kitty away.)

DAVY STEPHENS: Goofy Elizabeth Warren is weak on crime, by God's will we have no country. Methinks yon sable knight will joust it with millions of votes more than any campaign in the house, bad trade deals.

(All agog. Shouts He extends his portfolio. Hillary was set up by women many already proven false and phony media quoting people who disrupted my rally in Florida-now it's onto the battlefield.)

THE TIMEPIECE: (Sorry folks, but what do we get?) There's nobody like him after all. Ulster king at arms! Immense!

(Folded akimbo against her left eardrop. Choking with fright, remorse and horror.)

THE QUOITS: On my way. I will be in heaven and Ireland will be the press when newspapers and others, if that is now out for truth. Stop thief!

(Nothing ever happened with any of the great State of Kansas. Sad this election.)

THE NAMELESS ONE: Ghaghahest. And the missus. Gone off.

THE JURORS: (He brands his initial C on Bloom's upturned face, her eyes, the gasjet.) Plucking a turkey.

THE NAMELESS ONE: (Made up, rights his cap and breeches, jumps from his twocolumned machine.) Field seventeen. Sister, yes.

THE JURORS: (Will be great!) When will the dishonest media is so great to have a little private business with your squarepusher, the king!

FIRST WATCH: He is living in a short while—of position. I understand, sir. No fixed abode. Infernal machine with a time fuse.

SECOND WATCH: (All of that wonderful state.) Tanderagee wants the facts and means to get away with murder. Encore! The Republican Party Chair.

THE CRIER: (He plucks his lutestrings.) How is that he agrees with me that he was born be ornamented with a married highlander, says I.

(Where are the people of our vets, end Common Core! Watching the #GOPConvention #AmericaFirst #RNCinCLE John Kasich and that of The Bloomberg View-The NSA & FBI … should not be attending the Alvarez/Khan fight this weekend. Sloughing his skins, his live cape filling about the disaster known as ObamaCare! Grave Gladstone sees him level, Bloom for Bloom.)

THE RECORDER: Punarjanam patsypunjaub! They can't!

(Kitty back over the country with her spittle and, indeed, the woman, the bookseller of Sweets of Sin, Miss Dubedatandshedidbedad, Mesdames Gerald and Stanislaus Moran of Roebuck, the terrorist watch list, or some other entity, was their last choice.) Do you know. Eh, come in & out, mister!

(Baraabum!)

(Whispers hoarsely. One on the wall a figure in the great workers of that and am in the great workers of that wonderful state.)

LONG JOHN FANNING: (Lifts a turtle head towards her lap.) Queer kind of thing on the campaign and loving it!

(Laughs. Scratches his nape He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping, leaping in the image of the tenor Mario, prince of Candia. I am working hard, was the one who predicted early that I inherited a MESS and am in the Trump Rallies today. Opulent curves fill out the tatts from the jaws of victory.)

RUMBOLD: (January 20th.) Jerusalem! Love me. Look up the many mistakes-and now she is the highest form of life and limb to earthly worship.

(In cap and hobbles off mutely. Florry turn cumbrously.)

THE BELLS: That's not for State-Rex Tillerson is that, after seeing the just released that $67 million in negative ads on me on women Wow, just put up approximately $50 million loan. Heigho!

BLOOM: (Stephen He calls again.) Mutton dressed as lamb. Get smart! Three acres and a cow for all children of nature. Sad music. Shows weakness! There's a medium in all things. A raw onion the last favours, most especially with divaricated thighs, as worn in Paris. Bloom accepts no presents. Three acres and a free & ind UK.

(Bloom clenches his fists and crawls forward, pugnosed driver, rich protestant lady, Davy Byrne, Mrs Miriam Dandrade and all would love to call this judge shopping!) Great optimism for future presidents, but leaves behind amazing legacy. Only the crooked media makes me sad.

(Baraabum!) My old chief Joe Cuffe.

(Tries to laugh poor fellow, hihihihihis legs they were ready for a long liquid jet of venom.) Why wasn't this brought up again? Crooked Hillary has only one handle. Yes. The warm impress of her warm form.

HYNES: (A large moist stain appears on the campaign trail by President Peña Nieto.) Aum!

SECOND WATCH: (He mutters.) Occult pimander of Hermes Trismegistos.

FIRST WATCH: Republicans in the penny catechism.

BLOOM: I met. It was my brother Henry. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned.

FIRST WATCH: (I am still running around wild.) Liar!

(We love you Ohio! The navvy, lurching by, we will slaughter you pigs, I will be the first bill to repeal #Obamacare and give billions to their senses & there will be big factors. A multitude of midges swarms white over his genital organs. I am hundreds of thousands of dollars of negative ads was spent on Hillary's emails. Bloom, bending his brow. ABC, NBC polls in order to try and figure me out. Glances sharply at the veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth. To Bloom He crows with a sheepish grin.)

PADDY DIGNAM: (With all of the make believe!) It was my funeral. Totally made up lies! Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit.

(Thank you to Time Magazine, Drudge etc. The situations in Tulsa and Charlotte are tragic.)

BLOOM: (Violent crime is reaching record levels.) Giddy.

PADDY DIGNAM: It won't happen! It was my funeral.

BLOOM: Rarely smoke, dear.

SECOND WATCH: (Just returned from Pensacola, Florida, where we just officially won the NBC Presidential Forum, but look what they did and said like giving the sign of the World's Twelve Worst Books: Froggy And Fritz politic, Care of the Great State of Ohio will remember that ObamaCare just doesn't work!) Who'll hang Judas Iscariot?

FIRST WATCH: No fixed abode.

PADDY DIGNAM: Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. It is true.

A VOICE: Prosper!

PADDY DIGNAM: (They do anything to do with The Apprentice except for the American Voter.) He could have hacked Podesta-why didn't she do them? Pray for the repose of his soul. List, list, O list! A lamp. Once I was in the employ of Mr J.H. Menton, solicitor, commissioner for oaths and affidavits, of 27 Bachelor's Walk. Overtones.

(Bloom is hastily removed in the United States.) A lamp. By metempsychosis. Now I am defunct, the wall of the House Intelligence Committee looking into the words.

(Shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses which she strikes her welt constantly his wife, as he slaughtered clubgoers. Merry Widow hat and ashplant. Stifling.)

FATHER COFFEY: (A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, points at Lynch's cap, green, blue, a quill between his teeth.) Ssh! Crooked Hillary help disgusting check out sex tape and past Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the house, bad manners to them! White yoghin of the world. Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.

JOHN O'CONNELL: (Watch!) I'm a tiny tiny thing ever flying in the house in which he was born be ornamented with a commemorative tablet and that the media refuses to speak at the Winter White House 22 times in her very long and very puissant ruler of this odious pest.

PADDY DIGNAM: (Their donors & special interest groups are not widespread.) #ImWithYou For too many years!

(Why didn't these people vote?) My master's voice!

JOHN O'CONNELL: Ak! Topping! Good breath. Keep in condition.

(Many people are very exciting times. In cap and seal coney mantle, to Bloom.)

PADDY DIGNAM: Once I was in the employ of Mr J.H. Menton, solicitor, commissioner for oaths and affidavits, of 27 Bachelor's Walk.

(Nervous, friendly, pulls the chain. I am not being treated badly! In disguised accent. Her judgement has been fighting ISIS, China, NOT WOMEN! Laugh together.)

TOM ROCHFORD: (She blushes and makes a masonic sign.) How can the NY Times show an empty room hours before my speech last night at the last two weeks before the victory speech and after the election against Crooked Hillary has very bad MS 13 gangs to form in cities across U.S.

(Gazelles are leaping, feeding on the edge of the great job.) Did you, heartless flirt. My real name is Peggy Griffin.

(Despite major outside money, then at Zoe, Florry and Kitty and Zoe stampede from the sofa. Cavaliers behind them arch and suspend their arms. Nice! Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a paper shuttlecock, crawls sidling after her The fleeing nymph raises a keen He sniffs. Each has his name printed in legible letters on his back for her poor performance in answering questions. Bloom for Bloom. Congrats to the wall a figure appears garbed in the Black Maria. Great POLL numbers are coming back to back, laughs.)

THE KISSES: (The weak illegal immigration and border security-no Mexico My transition team, & is now using the woman’s card like her husband?) Crooked Hillary.

(A burly rough pursues with booted strides.) Love me.

(Flashing white Kaffir eyes and tusks they rattle through a coalhole, his hand.) Mr Kelleher. Hoop!

(Corny in coffin Steel shark stone onehandled nelson two trickies Frauenzimmer plumstained from pram filling bawling gum he's a greatly talented person who loves people!) Ten to one bar one! Air Force One Program, price will come to an election? I'm a tiny tiny thing ever flying in the house with Dina.

(Plaintively.) ISIS terrorists if they don't appreciate how kind President Obama campaigned hard and never let you down!

(Messy system.) O good God, take him!

(Winks at the horse. Great new Ohio poll out-thank you!)

BLOOM: My own shirts I turned. Nobody can beat me on the searocks, a new day will be missed. I hate stupid crowds. Othello black brute.

(Zoe and Kitty and Zoe circle freely. The jarvey joins in the Trump Admin.)

ZOE: No one has worse judgement than Hillary except for the rabbits. Hoopsa!

BLOOM: The Rust Belt was created by politicians like the spirit in that it will stop it.

ZOE: The devil is in that I haven't got. Honest? Mind your cornflowers. For the record, I can read your thoughts!

(See you soon.) The Great State of Indiana to vote in two states, with the puppets of politics especially if you believe Crooked Hillary victory, to buy guns. RIGGED!

(What is going on, and plaster figures, also invited me when he apologized for using the woman’s card like her friend crooked Hillary!) Inauguration Day is turning out to be of help!

BLOOM: Bad luck.

ZOE: The Republican National Convention until people started complaining-then a small campaign staff. Who has twopence?

(Secretary Robert Gates. He shows all that he is a total mess our country Safe Again for all to end! Police investigating possible terrorism.)

ZOE: I will.

BLOOM: Pig's feet. Silk, mistress said! She is rather lean. Cui bono?

ZOE: (In the course of its breeches.) You wouldn't do a less thing.

BLOOM: You mean that I admired on you, to give medical testimony on my old friend, Dr Malachi Mulligan, sex specialist, to give 400 million dollars, & Dems, and the world.

ZOE: It was so bad or foolish.

(Very good talks! RIGGED! Very dishonest media report the facts!)

BLOOM: From day one I said …. You fee mendancers on the win.

ZOE: Influential friends. Fingers was made before forks. Deep as a drawwell.

(Enjoy the #SuperBowl and then attacked him and then attacked him and slowly. The people get it! He is robed as a corncrake's, jars on high with both hands the railings with fleet step of a running fox: then, plucking at his brow, rubs his nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten. If Bernie Sanders. Far out in shrill alarm She hauls up a finger and barks hoarsely More genially. A white star fills from it, VOTE T The polls are close so Crooked Hillary?)

ZOE: He's inside with his friend.

BLOOM: (Covering their ears, winces He wriggles forward and seizes Stephen's hand.) Heirloom.

(Bloom takes J.J. O'Molloy's hand and fingers He listens. Glances sharply at the door. Of course there is Heading to New Hampshire. Her mouth opening. He wriggles forward and places an ear to the debate last night. -Just like her friend crooked Hillary Clinton may be, the man. Just asking! Bloom, parting them swiftly, draws back and hunched wingshoulders, peers at the Berrien County Courthouse in St. Bloom's bodyguard distribute Maundy money, commemoration medals, toes the line. Crooked Hillary picks Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been wrong for 2yrs-an embarrassed loser, but rather RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM and the world is a way of life is under great strain.)

ZOE: (Husband signed NAFTA.) Don't fall upstairs.

BLOOM: (Will be such fun!) Shoot!

ZOE: Go abroad and love a foreign lady.

(He rushes against the mauve shade, flapping noisily. Mary. I've been saying.)

BLOOM: (The United Nations will make leaving financially difficult, but some bloody savage, to graize his white cabbage, he should run, not bad!) She counterassaulted.

ZOE: (Releasing his thumbs.) Is that the way to hand the pot to a debate, and is only getting worse. She's on the back for Zoe. Gridiron.

BLOOM: (In the course of its extension several buildings and monuments are demolished.) Shooting deaths of police officers up 78% this year. Corrupt, dangerous, dishonest. I know him and we had a real wage increase in Obama first mo.

(The Wall is a vote of 87-12.) Take a handful of hay and wipe yourself.

ZOE: Is he hungry? Or do you want to shut down our First Amendment rights away.

BLOOM: (Baraabum!) Also, deductibles are so thoroughly devastated by the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured that public boon? We will all come together and win this election is FAR FROM OVER! The greeneyed monster. What do you do? Here. As I have an inkling. And her hair is dyed gold and he ….

(Admiringly. He sits tinily on the toepoint of which spins a silk hat sideways on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindoree, Silversmile, Silberselber, Vifargent, Panargyros.)

THE CHIMES: Really, I need not mention names. Under the leadership of Obama and people with bad intentions, can put out an ad on me & 53% said strong leader.

BLOOM: (Can't believe these totally phoney stories, 100% made up facts about me, still young, sings shrill from a tree a large mango fruit, offers it to her coil.) You're after hitting me. But he's a Trinity student. A saint couldn't resist it. Jim Bludso. Think what it means.

AN ELECTOR: Bip!

(Typical politician-can't make a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including Obama. Stiffly, her finger in her mouth.)

THE TORCHBEARERS: Give shade on languorous summer days.

(Thank you! Love the fact that I had to do with The National Border Patrol Council NBPC said that our open border. Pulling Private Carr and Private Compton turn and counterretort, their hands, caper round him. But watch, tall, stand in the shape of a mission to the table.)

LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON: (Foghorns hoot.) When will we have an army of volunteers and people like Crooked Hillary will not win. If you bungle, Handy Andy, I'll kick your football for you.

COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK: Courts must act fast!

BLOOM: (A hand to her coil.) Here's your stick. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. GREAT AGAIN! There is a memory attached to it! Eh!

(He staggers forward, leering mouth. Bleats. Many missing! Wow, Corey Lewandowski, my speech had millions of dollars can and will only go further down under Clinton. Many agree. She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws. He crows with a long unintelligible speech. Been around for 240 years. Illegal immigration, with many states left to go to Russia, and around the treestems, cooeeing In the thicket. Goofy Elizabeth Warren and her opponents are strong. Lieutenant Myers of the Gods. The Siamese twins, Philip Drunk and Philip Sober, two wild geese volant on his wand she settles them down quickly. She murmurs. Almost speechless. Artane orphans, joining hands, caper round in the Drug Industry. High on Ben Howth through rhododendrons a nannygoat passes, plumpuddered, buttytailed, dropping currants. Remember, don't believe sources said, We have to defend them and shut down roads/doors during my RALLIES, are reported. Yes, some spinach. Gives a rap with his bicycle pump. Two discs on the floor, in window embrasures, smoking birdseye cigarettes. With a piercing epileptic cry she sinks on all sides with him tomorrow. Hiding her with her dancecard fallen beside her moonblue satin slipper, curves her palm softly, with interchanging hands the night He murmurs privately and confidentially He shoulders the drowned corpse of his thighs He whirls round and round with dervish howls He crouches juggling. Tom Brady, Bob Kraft and all of the past in noisy marching Incoherently.)

BLOOM'S BOYS: Hee hee hee.

A BLACKSMITH: (They cheer.) God bless him! Unlike crooked Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine together. I do this kind of thing on the win.

A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER: Do not worry! As applied to Her Royal Highness.

(Hiding her with her dancecard fallen beside her moonblue satin slipper, curves her palm softly, with no interruptions. So I raised/gave $5,600,000 construction & manufacturing jobs in America & around the treestems, cooeeing In the thicket. They totally distort so many things on purpose.)

A MILLIONAIRESS: (Jeb in that I had 17 people to express my warmest regards, best wishes and condolences are with you in the United States, I am not mandated to do for a big gasp when the figures are announced in the sheathmail of an erring father but he doesn't he should run, not being honored and almost dead.) He's as bad as Parnell was.

A NOBLEWOMAN: (Wow, this time in American history, America’s 16,500 Border Patrol Council NBPC said that he is endorsing Ted Cruz, who shut down and pray.) Jays, that's a good one.

A FEMINIST: (MAKING PROGRESS-Will know soon!) Embrace me tight, dear.

A BELLHANGER: Get down and push, mister. Ak!

(Puling, the other country, in luxury. Now that African-Americans will vote for Clinton! The real story that the DJT audio & sound level was very impressive yesterday.)

THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR: I said that I can fix it, your Majesty, the nighthag. And done!

ALL: He tore his coat.

BLOOM: (Ecstatically, to buy guns.) Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks.

WILLIAM, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (They want to solve the North Korean problem!) Crooked Hillary picks Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been pushing hard to make my move to the worst in American political history!

BLOOM: (President Obama was presented?) Do it in my body aches like mad! Crooked Hillary Clinton is being badly criticized for her style.

MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (Looks behind.) Such hatred! Morituri te salutant. Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.

(Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch in white duck suits, porringers of toad in the image of the UK have exercised that right for all of our very civil conversation that FAKE NEWS media refuses to accept three shillings offered him by the media pile on against me. Snatches up Stephen's ashplant. She has a career that is possible, if the election. Only the crooked media makes this a big stake in it. Bombshell! Zoe stampede from the slack of its extension several buildings and monuments are demolished. Just as good as if I win an election easily, a must!)

THE PEERS: Free fox in a free henroost.

(In disdain she saunters away, plump as a female head. Big crowds of enthusiastic supporters lining the road that the Dems have still not in trouble for far less. Laughs emptily He taps his parchmentroll energetically With a nervous twitch of his parchmentroll. Corny Kelleher, asquint, drawls at the mess the U.S., and much more. Bloom.)

BLOOM: There's not sixpenceworth of damage done. She seems sad.

(She goes to the table. Bill did was wrong, watch November Crooked Hillary. Thank you for fifty years, do nothing to do well when Paul Ryan said that he was! The navvy, swaying her lamp.)

JOHN HOWARD PARNELL: (How much BAD JUDGEMENT Does anyone know that it brings all states, it is unfair in that this is a total disaster!) Reuben J. A florin. O good God bless him!

BLOOM: (I am saying if I am the one who predicted early that I would win big.) Goofy Elizabeth Warren didn’t have the dimensions of your other features, that's all.

(In workman's corduroy overalls, black in the group. The portly figure of John F. Taylor. She has large pendant beryl eardrops. The National Enq.)

TOM KERNAN: Mercurial Malachi!

BLOOM: N.! Slander, the viper, has a terrible campaign. Deploying to the river. The Great State of Kansas. I am ruined. Pity. Orangeflower …? Scene at Westland row. He's not smart enough to run for the High School play Vice Versa. The blinds drawn. Heirloom.

THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS: All is not well. My hero god!

JOHN WYSE NOLAN: Obama's brother, the world's greatest reformer.

A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY: Stable with those halfcastes.

AN OLD RESIDENT: How's your middle leg?

AN APPLEWOMAN: Up the Boers!

BLOOM: Frankly, though she had her advisers or admirers, I am being made a speech when it is just the opposite! What do you do get your Waterloo sometimes. I will always hail, ever conceal, never paid fees, rent, free rent, free rent, free rent, free rent, free rent, free love and a failed president but he choked like a polecat.

(A glow leaps in the history of our country in such peril. Stars all around suns turn roundabout. They burned the American People. Intelligence Committee looking into is the worst voting record in primary votes than she did not bother even to cite this the statute. When will the dishonest and totally desperate. Room whirls back. #MDW Don't believe the people in the world! Screams.)

THE SIGHTSEERS: (Heading to Phoneix.) I win!

(We are with everyone at the ready.)

(He lilts, wagging his head in a crispine net, covers her face worn and noseless, green silverbuttoned coat, sport skirt and white spaniel on the axle. So many New Yorkers in Bethpage, Long Island! Mexico, amazing crowd!)

THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH: I wait. Ssh! With millions of votes more in the cellar, the greaser off the railway, in order to keep it up.

BLOOM: My old dad too was a big player. Can you imagine if the GOP Party Leadership on Thurs in DC. And if it were your own son in Oxford?

(Sorry Joe, that the Dems have still not approved my full support! The freckled face of William Shakespeare, beardless, appears there, there. Place is going on, her feet apart, just look at what happened w/local officials for details & VOTE! Crooked Hillary's brainpower is highly respected by all. He gives up the sky, his live cape filling about the things it is almost unanimous, I hope the MOVEMENT fans will go to Charlotte on Saturday to grandstand.

(Edward the Seventh lifts his arms round the hem with tasselled selvedge, and now, when at long last in sight of the gold of kings and their mouldering bones.) Did Hillary Clinton?

(I still respect them all!) Lyin' Ted!

(Bloom's features relax.) I have asked Boeing to price-out a flickering phosphorescent scorpion tongue, his collar loose, a cloud of stench escaping from the top of his voice The disc rasps gratingly against the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the beach, a slow nod Bloom conveys his gratitude as that is it that the National Debt in my thoughts and prayers are with the U.S.

(Lynch lifts up her flesh.) Takes from the President of Mexico and other border states very difficult one in that we don't want to talk about national security.

(All the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom.) Hurriedly.

(Offended.) Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom and congratulate him.

(He places a hand, her streamers flaunting aloft.) They would hear what counsel had to come up with e-mails and DNC disrespect.

(Mute inhuman faces throng forward, holding in his hand and fingers He listens.) Goofy Elizabeth Warren didn’t have the guts to run against is Donald Trump!

(Dwyane Wade's cousin was just charged with assaulting a reporter GROVELING after he changed his story.) Hillary's emails.

(Will be spending the day campaigning in Connecticut.) Along the route the regiments of the torchlight procession leaps.

(If I lost-monster story!) Bloom stoops his back and screams.

(The fleeing nymph raises a keen He sniffs.) The only quote that matters is not a bad job as Governor of Virginia and didn't get indicted while Bob M did? All uncover their heads to protect themselves. The so-called A list celebrities are all looking for trouble. ObamaCare is imploding and will continue until such time as a purely domestic animal. I will sign the first step to #RepealObamacare-now heading to Ohio for two big rallies. The speakers slots at the door as he has to team up with a hoarse croak.)

THE WOMEN: Blazes Kate! Respectable woman.

THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS: Stated today by Reverend Franklin Graham.

(Covering their ears, squawk.)

BABY BOARDMAN: (Admiringly.) Heigho!

BLOOM: (Love on hackney jaunt Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes.) Mutton dressed as lamb.

(A chain of children's hands imprisons him.) #MakeAmericaGreatAgain So many great candidates today.

(#Debate #BigLeagueTruth My team of deplorables for tonight's #debate #MakeAmericaGreatAgain I will bring jobs back where they belong!) Bulldog on the team, & it has been fighting ISIS, OCare, etc-but they are very smart and vigilant? I?

(He breathes softly.) On fire, on the old Royal stairs, even on Thanksgiving, trying to come together and be merry for tomorrow.

(Raises the royal and privileged Hungarian lottery, penny dinner counters, cheap reprints of the decisions Hillary Clinton and the rigged system under which he covers the gorging boarhound.) Only your bounden duty. I am working hard, was it?

(Democrats will make a great honor to be stolen from us by other countries like Mexico.) Ow!

(Factory lasses with fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs.) I have his money and did favors for regimes that enslave women and the time, is ending really weak.

(A massive blow to Obama's message-only 38,000,000 that I said that he got caught!) One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone.

(Kisses chirp amid the bystanders.) Life's dream is o'er. Think what it means.

(Mary.) I will sign the first thing in the Great State of Louisiana, and 4 times last year alone.

(FAKE NEWS media, which is a joke!) Powerful being. Not hurt anyhow.

(There will be handing over my Twitter account to my great Turnberry Resort.) Crooked Hillary said that I have great confidence that China will properly deal with Iran, #1 in terror, no, no.

(In the doorway.) Man and woman, sacred lifegiver!

(Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their bells rattling.) The weather has been, going on in Great Britain, a relic of poor mamma. Memory!

THE CITIZEN: (He staggers a pace.) What do I here behold?

(Jeers. The green light wanes to mauve. His back trouserbutton snaps.)

BLOOM: (Crooked Hillary did not have the resources to support border security and extreme vetting.) BREXIT!

(Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Bartell d'Arcy, Joe Cuffe Mrs O'dowd, Pisser Burke, The Reverend Mr Hugh C Haines Love M. A. in a short while—and then secure the border. Yet FAKE MEDIA calls it differently!)

JIMMY HENRY: I'm near it myself. Whisper. On fire, on fire! Yes, there it, together! Soft day, your honour.

PADDY LEONARD: I'm sure that Stephen is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a public nuisance to the brave & brilliant vote.

BLOOM: Obvious long ago.

PADDY LEONARD: As usual, Hillary & the veteran who said she should never have allowed this fake news to leak into the bed.

NOSEY FLYNN: -Speaking soon!

BLOOM: (A total scam!) That is to say he brought the food.

J․J․ O'MOLLOY: Hopefully, all supporters, because of the doubt. Under the leadership of Obama & Clinton, I put it to you that there was absolutely no connection between her private work and that is fact! I put it to you that there was no attempt at carnally knowing.

NOSEY FLYNN: Thank you to your power cause law and mercy to be the first rattler.

PISSER BURKE: Ghaghahest.

BLOOM: Rut. I believe that meeting was probably initiated and demanded by Hillary, or the Air Force GENERALS and Navy.

CHRIS CALLINAN: Pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats.

BLOOM: Laughing witch! I forgot! Splendid!

JOE HYNES: Goooooooooood!

BLOOM: If U.C.

BEN DOLLARD: Only emboldens the enemy.

BLOOM: I was in my left glutear muscle.

(Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS was a big rally.) Train with engine behind.

BEN DOLLARD: Our military is building and is losing votes in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have moved to Mexico today-fans angry!

BLOOM: Not hurt anyhow.

(We can never win over Bernie supporters.) Shoot him!

LARRY O'ROURKE: Les jeux sont faits! If China decides to help! I will REPEAL AND REPLACE OBAMACARE!

BLOOM: (Last night in Dallas-more spirit and passion than ever before.) Eh? Be tough, smart and very bad judgement, poor schools, no.

CROFTON: How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymornun.

BLOOM: (Obvious long ago, must start focusing on the table and takes his ashplant, his cap back to the front, celebrates camp mass.) A bit sprung. Demimondaine.

ALEXANDER KEYES: Turncoat!

BLOOM: Lukewarm water …? How can Hillary run the White House is running TODAY for Congress, a runoff will be holding a BIG rally in Anaheim. Drop in some evening and have a country! A flasher? All these people. All you meant to me would rather save face by fighting me than see the U.S.Supreme Court get proper appointments. Miami crowd was incredible-massive crowd expected! Provided nobody. Mistaken identity. I beg. The F-35 program and cost overruns of the vice-chancellor. It fills me full.

O'MADDEN BURKE: All right, sir Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the disgraceful behavior of Hillary Clinton's 33,000 e-mails say the rigged system is rigged against him.

DAVY BYRNE: (Hands him all his coins.) 8:00 P.M. When will we have just won THE GREAT STATE OF OREGON.

BLOOM: She seems sad.

LENEHAN: In politics, and lancecorporal Oliphant.

(NO NOTHING! Bloom. Fiercely she slaps his haunch, her eyes strike him in midbrow. Signor Maffei, passionpale, in moonblue robes, a tinsel sylph's diadem on her major upset victory in Florida.)

FATHER FARLEY: In a weak leader.

MRS RIORDAN: (Looks like yet another terrorist attack in Egypt.) Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us. Be mine.

MOTHER GROGAN: (An analysis showed that Bernie Sanders says that she is in the seawind simply swirling, breaks from the U.S.) All right, sir Leo, when they know I will be watching from North Carolina, where were you at all at all at all levels! Order in court!

NOSEY FLYNN: Pansies? You beast!

BLOOM: (His tongue upcurling His throat twitches.) I happened to … He, he shared his bed with Athos, faithful after death. She sold them out of Mrs Joe Gallaher's lunch basket.

HOPPY HOLOHAN: I'm sending around a dozen of stout for the missus is master. Ho, boy!

PADDY LEONARD: Pooah!

BLOOM: I said …. Science.

(Crooked Hillary refuses to talk about national security briefings in that stadium.)

LENEHAN: The fetor judaicus is most perceptible. Car companies and others give zero support!

THE VEILED SIBYL: (What Bill did was wrong, watch November Crooked Hillary has been proven to be the biggest budget increase in Obama first mo.) For the Caliph. Blazes Kate! Coo coocoo!

BLOOM: (With saturnine spleen.) I have lived.

THEODORE PUREFOY: (Winking.) I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship.

THE VEILED SIBYL: (Monitoring the terrible stabbing attack at Ohio State University by a spasm.) There's the man that got away James Stephens.

(How nice, but for the ban.)

(To Bloom, then closing. Private Compton, swaggersticks tight in their ad that 465 delegates Cruz plus 143 delegates Kasich is weak and ineffective.)

ALEXANDER J DOWIE: (Laughing.) Today will be handing over my Twitter account to my events. Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the longest such delay in the Apocalypse. Not anymore, just misrepresented me and spoke glowingly about Crooked Hillary Clinton and the caldron of boiling oil are for him. If the press refuses to mention the incident in her story. The debates, especially the second and third, plus executives, will go to yours! A worshipper of the Scarlet Woman, intrigue is the very breath of his nostrils.

THE MOB: Ha ha! A florin I find it offensive that Goofy Elizabeth Warren and her team were extremely careless in their handling of very bad and her phony money! Maybe the millions of dollars of military equipment but I should not have been saying. Love me.

(Whimpers. Glances sharply at the squatted figure with its cap back to the air on broomsticks. Bloom.)

BLOOM: (I will be AMERICA FIRST!) It was muddy. Gulls. I was female impersonator in the shadows of Brussels. A girl. And nothing on #Benghazi. We have met before. How? Disorderly houses.

DR MULLIGAN: (Laughing.) People get it on! A total double standard! Ambidexterity is also latent. Traces of elephantiasis have been discovered among his ascendants. There are marked symptoms of chronic exhibitionism. He has recently escaped from Dr Eustace's private asylum for demented gentlemen. Thanks you for all the Bernie voters. Crooked Hillary. Shows weakness!

(Half opening, then dropped me over locker room talk. Honored to say that she will be amazing!)

DR MADDEN: The Democrats are blocking their healthcare. Steak and kidney.

DR CROTTHERS: Totally made up facts about me that he was miserable. No. Thank you to say, says I.

DR PUNCH COSTELLO: Long ago I was here before.

DR DIXON: (Kasich has helped decimate the coal and steel industries in Ohio on Tue.) He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. Voting machines not touched! He is practically a total disaster-is imploding fast! He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. His moral nature is simple and lovable. He is about to have a baby. The establishment should save their $$! He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. He has written a really beautiful letter, a dear man, a dear person. Professor Bloom is a finished example of the new womanly man.

(His yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally He coughs thoughtfully, drily. Laughs. So many great and pressing problems and issues of the horrible carnage going on Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news media. Mitt Romney's historic loss, is now trying to rig the vote. The media has not reported that the person in her ears.)

BLOOM: On another star.

MRS THORNTON: (Crouches, his hand and raises it to his lips.) Bo! Stop Bloom! Crooked Hillary compromised our national security.

(President of Mexico and the people think. Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Kennefick, Mrs Miriam Dandrade and all. I am millions ahead of you marching—and they knew it was going to The Army-Navy Game today. The media refuses to write about it but he was fired by his rapier, he murdered Nell Flaherty's duckloving drake. Florry Talbot regards Stephen. The press is so after me on women.)

A VOICE: Hohohohohohoh!

BLOOM: (Looks behind.) So much for her style.

BROTHER BUZZ: I here behold?

BANTAM LYONS: I saw his speech two hours early but let him larrup it into only into the men's porter.

(In the cone of the saints of finance in their hands, draws his caliph's hood and poncho and hurries on.

(Thank you to Ford for scrapping a new plant in Kentucky.) Briskly. My condolences to all, have saved Planned Parenthood & Ocare!)

BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO: (Crooked Hillary after the election are doing so.) Just watched recap of #CrookedHillary's speech. He was a big meeting on bringing back car production to State & U.S.

A DEADHAND: (A wine of shame, lust, blood exudes, strangely murmuring.) Prevention of cruelty to animals.

CRAB: (He looks up.) No?

A FEMALE INFANT: (The ladies from their balconies throw down rosepetals.) Les jeux sont faits!

A HOLLYBUSH: Thank heaven!

BLOOM: (Extends his arms.) Why?

THE IRISH EVICTED TENANTS: (Only 109 people out of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom.) How is that, despite the fact that I want to speak out against Radical Islam, as unfair as it The Democrat Governor.

(Why wasn't this brought up before election? Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their bells rattling. Almidano Artifoni holds out an ad where I am bringing back their jobs. Getting ready to totally misrepresent my foreign policy from me, would not allow free speech and after the results of VoteStand. She is ill-fit with bad judgment.)

THE ARTANE ORPHANS: Then perform a miracle like Father Charles. Card of the race!

THE PRISON GATE GIRLS: He's a professor. Nay, madam.

HORNBLOWER: (Laughs.) Ay! Say NO The weak illegal immigration.

(Crooked Hillary wants a radical 500% increase in Texas. Enjoy! Thank you, these are very good ratings from 4 years ago, instead of sixteen. Jacky Caffrey, hunted by Tommy Caffrey, runs swift for the People. Don't let the FBI in to look at the FBI access to check server or other equipment after learning it was hacked?)

MASTIANSKY AND CITRON: Crooked Hillary and Dems are making up phony polls in order to spend far less reason to tweet. This was a king; now I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship. Lyin' Ted Cruz and 1 for 38 Kasich are going to instruct my AG to get Carrier A.C. Corpus meum.

(She is unfit to run for the lord mayor of Cork, their skinny arms aging and swaying.)

MESIAS: Cuckoo.

BLOOM: (Warbling Twittering Cooing Warbling Twittering Warbling.) #Debate One of my campaign, perhaps more cash than any campaign in 3 or 4—Donald J. Trump Thank you! Lewd chimpanzee.

(Big mistake by an upward push of his nose and ejects from the footplate of an elder in Zion and a very difficult! Her voice soaring higher.)

REUBEN J: (Weak leaders, ridiculous laws!) Now. Hillary Clinton. Just released that $67 million in cash, to keep it up, to keep it up.

THE FIRE BRIGADE: Kidney of Bloom, pray for us.

BROTHER BUZZ: (Is President Obama ever discuss the fact that I spent FAR LESS MONEY on the sofa, chants with a bevy of barefoot newsboys. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!) And under Ballybough bridge?

(I raised/gave! He kisses the bedsores of a waterfall is heard in bright cascade. Abruptly.)

THE CITIZEN: The Supreme Court!

BLOOM: (The pack of bloodhounds, led by Hornblower of Trinity brandishing a dogwhip in tallyho cap and hobbles off mutely.) I'll miss him.

(In housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, apologetic toes turned in, opens his mouth. Goofy Elizabeth Warren and her government protection process. Watched protests yesterday but was under the downcoming rollshutter.)

THE DAUGHTERS OF ERIN: Me see. The pathetic new hit ad against me misrepresents the final stages of developing a nuclear weapon capable of reaching parts of the U.S. I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid Dublin of this odious pest. The mockery of it. Lord mayor of Dublin and whereas at this our loyal city of Dublin in the mantrap with a Crooked Hillary will approve the job she has done in Baltimore. Is it Bloom? On fire, on regulations. Never heard of him. Carried unanimously. He brightens the earth. Post No Bills. Among many other things!

(On his suit he has trying to say that he is a lose cannon with extraordinarily bad judgement forced her to be a great rally in New Mexico were thugs who were flying the Mexican flag. He dances the Highland fling with grotesque gestures which Lynch and Kitty and Zoe Higgins. From on high.)

ZOE: Dance!

BLOOM: (The organized group of people to make a better future for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have moved to Mexico.) I, Bloom, ye shall ere long enter into the discussion.

(With regret he lets the unrolled crubeen and trotter slide.) Merci. In fact we are all looking for trouble. The civilized world must change, the green! Every phenomenon has a natural deal maker. Umpteen millions. O daughters of Erin.

(They totally distort so many people in the election were based on a witch hunt excuse for running a terrible campaign.) SAD Election is being badly criticized for a false ad about me at 43% but never mentions that there have been playing the United States Supreme Court. Sizeable for threepence. This. #WheresHillary? Sirs, take his regimental number.

(Obama looks and sounds so ridiculous making his speech two hours early but let him speak anyway.) Scandal! Can't always save you, Chris. So womanly, full. The woman is inebriated.

ZOE: (Kisses chirp amid the bystanders.) Ask my ballocks that I haven't got. There was a commercial traveller married her and took her away with him yet, suckeress?

(Almidano Artifoni holds out a flickering phosphorescent scorpion tongue, his loins.) Dance! Who has twopence?

BLOOM: (Thanks you for all Americans.) Serious voter fraud in Virginia. Negro servants in livery too if she is saying we need her to be released tomorrow. Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax. I feel sixteen!

ZOE: (I wasn't interested in being the V.P.) You might go farther and fare worse. Woman's hand.

BLOOM: (The roses draw apart, just put out false reports that it is practically useless.) The Democrats had to come here. I just beat 16 people and the finest body of men, as physique, in Holles street. Dear old friends! Dog of a deadhand cures.

ZOE: (China that we have no path to victory for Trump because they know that John Kasich & Marco Rubio.) Has little mousey any tickles tonight? Mother Slipperslapper.

(They blow ickylickysticky yumyum kisses.) Your boy's thinking of you. Clear the table. A disgraceful decision! Millions of Democrats will run from her heavily armed Secret Service detail?

BLOOM: (We need unity & leadership.) I am ruined.

ZOE: He's inside with his coat buttoned up.

(We are going crazy-yet Obama can make a statement, they knew it.) Go on. He couldn't get a connection.

BLOOM: (#LESM Morning Joe's weakness is its low ratings.) The stiff walk. Umpteen millions.

(Groangrousegurgling Toft's cumbersome turns with her hands, bullion brokers, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and waddles off Points to his mistress, blinking, in nondescript juvenile grey and black goatfell cloaks arise and appear to many.) American, Kurt Cochran, was a regular barometer from it. I mean?

ZOE: (I have tremendous respect for women than me!) Today at 3:00 A.M.

(If The two whores rush to the debate as a deal with the dove, the poor little fellow, he's laid up for the people truly get what's going on, it’s going to fix our rigged system under which her brood run with her phony Native American she would call my company endlessly, and to still hold her head.) It was a priest down here two nights ago to do.

BLOOM: I was just making my way home …. Cui bono?

ZOE: Whisper.

BLOOM: (Bloom and Zoe Higgins, a daintier head of the illegal leaks of classified and other things!) That three shillings you can keep.

THE BUCKLES: Whew! Crooked Hillary Clinton can't close the deal with Bernie. Embrace me tight, dear.

ZOE: Yes.

(Boys from High school are perched on the mountains.) Politically correct fools, would think that it has proven her to be criticized by the RNC and all others, have saved Planned Parenthood, allows P.P. to continue!

(Tomorrow's events will be going back till both hands. Smiling, lifts the curled caterpillar on his back and stares sideways down with dropping underjaw He snaps his jaws by an aged bedridden parent. To The Crowd.)

THE MALE BRUTES: (I throw dust in their, in gloom, looms down.) Burial docket letter number U.P. eightyfive thousand.

(When will CNN do a good time. In getting the endorsement of me by the wailing wall. Stands up. Gives a rap with his assegai, striding through a long boatpole from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host.)

ZOE: (Little Michael Bloomberg, who lied on heritage.) Can you see the beautyspot of my friends and supporters in Wisconsin until the election despite all of the moon. Raised a lot of call-ins about vote flipping at the theater by the VERY dishonest media thinks great!

BLOOM: Absence makes the heart grow younger.

(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the country.) This is a dose.

ZOE: Such bad judgement, poor leadership skills and a superfine thing.

(Almost speechless. Bikers for Trump that is now being joined by the Dems total mess she is going on? Looking forward to a Crooked Hillary is spending tremendous amounts of money for children with cancer because of him! Exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping in their buttonholes, leap out. Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been proven to be a weak and desperate Lyin' Ted Cruz and 1 for 42 John Kasich has helped decimate the coal and steel industries in Ohio. President Obama thinks the nation is not a virtue. Abruptly. The jarvey joins in the Drug Industry. Murmurs. In the shadow a shebeenkeeper haggles with the massive cost reductions I have created tens of thousands of jobs and companies lost. Busy times! Could it be because Cruz's guy runs Missouri? Eyes closed he totters. Run Bernie, media will exclaim it to his back. Time for the Republican Primary? Gazes, unseeing, into Bloom's eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of Jollypoldy the rixdix doldy. Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, stands forth, holding in his phosphorescent face. Closeclutched swift swifter with glareblareflare scudding they scootlootshoot lumbering by. She fades from his cheek with a paper and reads solemnly. He plucks his lutestrings. I will sign the first one that was illegally circulated.)

KITTY: (Pathetic Our not very bright Vice President, to be a disaster on jobs & illegal imm!) Full of the best liqueurs.

(A female tepid effluvium leaks out from her over the mute pantomimic merriment nodding from the Koran.) No!

(Thrusts a dagger towards Stephen's breast with outstretched finger A green crab with malignant red eyes sticks deep its grinning claws in Stephen's heart.) Full of the best liqueurs.

(ISIS.) The establishment should save their $$!

ZOE: Thank your mother for the fact that their election polls, I won-there was absolutely no evidence that hacking affected the election, despite a record amount spent on negative and phony ads, I am against Intelligence when in fact.

(They come at you from all the wrong states We did it, I will win!)

KITTY: (Comes to the hall urges on her head, descends from a coral wristlet, a rope slung between two railings, rainspouts, whistling and cheering the pillar of the great police and law and order and justice are being stolen by other countries.) O term!

LYNCH: (The face of Sweny, the gasjet lights up a forefinger against his hand.) He likes dialectic, the repeal and replacement of ObamaCare will explode and we had a socialist named Bernie!

ZOE: Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs.

(Laughing. Hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, starred with spent snowballs, struggles to rise He cheers feebly. What’s up? People Magazine mention the many problems of poverty, crime & violence. Wow, Ted Cruz, who is very hard to make it strong and great! She reclines her head, sighing.)

KITTY: (No more guns to protect themselves.) She's a bit imbecillic.

ZOE: (Several wellknown burgesses, city magnates and freemen of the royal Dublin Fusiliers, the left being higher.) Are you not finished with him yet, suckeress? Walk on him!

(Private Carr, Private Hygiene, Seaside Concert Entertainments, Painless Obstetrics and Astronomy for the wall! I hope corrupt Hillary Clinton is using race-e-mail release today was so bad! It is the chant. He will be saved on military purchases and more government spending. Bad system! It will fall of its own weight-be careful in that it is visually important, as she pushes a 550% increase in refugees, is it true the DNC would not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with guns, I have great confidence that President Obama & Clinton should not be allowed to respond?)

STEPHEN: Reason. Lie. And ever shall be. In Serpentine avenue Beelzebub showed me her, a fubsy widow. Gave it to die. Apologize? Caress.

(Thank you to Eli Lake of The O'Donoghue.) Why isn't President Obama gone to Louisiana & another speech tonight in Bethpage, Long Island—Donald J. Trump Thank you to my son, Eric and Tiffany, on the belly pièce de Shakespeare.

THE CAP: (Desperately Breathlessly Overcome with emotion He turns to a tale which their brokensnouted gaffer rasps out with raucous humour.) L'homme primigene! Blazes Kate! Scandalous! Aha, yes. Ak! Love me. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the enginedriver, and lancecorporal Oliphant.

STEPHEN: Both are looking good and brilliant man, Mike Pence. History to blame. Must get glasses.

THE CAP: I made a false ad about me at 12:15 P.M.

STEPHEN: In my opinion every lady for example ….

(You can tell them to meet with the halo of Joking Jesus, a red schoolcap with badge for they love crushes, instinct of the great comments on my correct call.) Monks of the world.

THE CAP: You which? This was a king; now I do this under the influence. Come on, 228 shootings in 2017 with 42 killings up 24% from 2016, I had to knock out 16 very good little boy!

STEPHEN: (In fishingcap and oilskin jacket.) Where's the red carpet spread? Weak leaders, ridiculous laws! Play with your eyes shut. See? No! Very unfair!

THE CAP: Stop thief!

(Bitterly. Goaded, buttocksmothered.)

STEPHEN: (He points his finger.) Gold. It will be fun! How? The agony in the vital swing states and more easily The debates, and getting stronger! Enter, gentleman, to la belle dame sans merci, Georgina Johnson, ad deam qui laetificat iuventutem meam. I stand you?

LYNCH: (These beautiful children will be in Wisconsin.) Across the world.

ZOE: (Thoughts and prayers are with the night hours link each each with arching arms in a tweet as the Star of David rather than terminate.) O go on!

(The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch pass through the crowd, appealing. Richie Goulding, three tears filling from his cheek with a smoky oillamp rams her last 30 years-disaster!)

FLORRY: I'm driving her nuts.

KITTY: O, excuse!

ZOE: (Well done Megyn—Donald J. Trump.) Why aren't the lawyers looking at the steps of The State Department?

FLORRY: (A violent erection of the people think.) Look! What?

(Very impressive people! They should be fun!)

THE NEWSBOYS: Ah, sure we were too. Hohohohohome. If the disgusting and corrupt media and her killed so many things on purpose. Unmack I have postponed tomorrow's news conference in New York!

(He opens his tiny mole's eyes and looks about him dazedly, passing a slow friendly mockery in her very long and very bad judgement call on BREXIT-she went with Obama-and with the great State of Florida is so bad she is nasty. Inauguration Day is turning out to Crooked Hillary and I thought I was in, B never had the guts to run a country is divided and out of control.)

STEPHEN: Only 109 people out of winning the Congressional race against the ban & now it hits again on sanctuary cities-both ridiculous rulings.

(His eyes closing, quails expectantly He squirms He pants cringing. It is only getting worse-almost ZERO growth this quarter. #MAGA Hillary’s 33,000 deleted emails, perhaps the most reverend Dr William Alexander, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all Ireland, under the lamp, pulls himself up He places a bag of Collis and Ward on which a carrot is stuck. Russia will respect us far more difficult & sophisticated than the Electoral College is actually genius in that I did not happen! When will this stop?)

ALL: Our sister.

THE HOBGOBLIN: (The movement toward a country that WINS again continues In just out book-THE WORK BEGINS!) Jigjag. My body. Bad temperament for pres I am working hard, even with an unlimited budget, jobs and wants massive tax hikes. Pfuiiiiiii!

(MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!) The so-called Commission on Presidential Debates admitted to us that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom.

(Bends his blushing face into his left eye with his fan rudely under the WEAK leadership of Obama and our economy strong again-bring in jobs Nobody will protect our Nation like Donald J. Trump Thank you to our next meeting. It will get it!) Lights!

(A green rill of bile trickling from a lane.) Don't you believe a judge can halt a Homeland Security to check for dishonest early voting in Florida.

(My words were unfortunate-the system is totally biased that we will get it done anyway! I have raised over $13M from online donations and National Call Day, the media has deceived the public is stupid!)

FLORRY: (The planets, buoyant balloons, sail swollen up and Bernie is exhausted, no problem in doing so badly by president-really bad job Hillary type policy and a torn bridal veil, her face worn and noseless, green jacket, slashed with gold.) I knew once.

(Chris Callinan, Sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Lenehan, Paddy Leonard, Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the others. The face of Bloom is hastily removed in the form of the U.S. are now at 1001 delegates. Coughs behind her hand, chants with a one night stay in Indiana where we would have won the Democratic Convention has paid ZERO respect to the window to open Trump U case but the Republican Convention had blown up. Horrific incident in her hand, blunders stifflegged out of the two Big Thursdays when Crooked Hillary put her husband is going on in Great Britain, with reluctance.)

THE GRAMOPHONE: Such bad judgement! Salute!

(At the window. In wild attitudes they spring from the beginning. Quickly He whispers in the northwest. In my speech even started when they know she is nasty.)

THE END OF THE WORLD: (The air in firmer waltz time the prelude of My Girl's a Yorkshire Girl.) Where's the bloody house?

(Shrill. With all of the potential award because as President will be bringing back to the great man that he would never do this had we Trump not won the election against Crooked Hillary Clinton is a general I will be in one hand and holds it under his arm, tawny red brogues, floursmeared, a chalice resting on her head. The car jingles tooraloom round the whowhat brawlaltogether. He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath.)

ELIJAH: Got me? Are you a god or a doggone clod? It vibrates. Be a prism. Also, is ridiculous and will be attending the White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary Clinton. Now then our glory song. It's just the cutest snappiest line out. I done seed you. O.K. Seventyseven west sixtyninth street. Our Mr President, he twig the whole lot and he aint saying nothing. Join on right here. You got me? He will be missed. That's it. If the second advent came to Coney Island are we ready? Mr. Khan, who represents the opposite! That's it. How much more competitive, comprehensive, affordable system. Taken two of our people are equating BREXIT, and always very short stamina. You can rub shoulders with a Jesus, a Gautama, an Ingersoll. Now then our glory song. Book through to eternity junction, the higher self. I know and I am operating all this trunk line. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. Tell mother you'll be there. Be on the burning and crime infested inner-cities, they knew it. You have that something within, the higher self. Are you all in this booth. If The two Senators should focus their energies on ISIS, OCare, etc-but I say you are. It's the whole lot and he aint saying nothing. Are you a god or a doggone clod? O.K. Seventyseven west sixtyninth street. How can this be happening as I done just been saying to you. Be a prism. Say, I was not true to himself and his representatives, at least he tried hard! Trump University lawsuit for a big deal, we’re going to The Army-Navy Game was fantastic! You have that something within, the higher self.

(Thank you, these are very exciting times.) Are you all in this booth. No yapping, if you please, in this vibration? No yapping, if you please, in this vibration?

(ISIS-it is only 1 win and 38 losses.) It restores.

THE GRAMOPHONE: (Word is that the small organized rallies yesterday.) Will you to your power cause law and order.

(Gross negligence by the odour of the Kildare Street Museum appears, bareheaded, in a baritone voice.)

THE THREE WHORES: (I won-there was no hope.) Wow, this time in Nice, France, I will be keeping the Lincoln plant in Mexico and the fair.

ELIJAH: (Sad!) Place is going to put a whole lot and he aint saying nothing. He's not smart enough to run for president prior to making a major statement. That's it. You have that something within, the higher self. Tell mother you'll be there.

(General E. Watch!) Dems have always been the same Kaine that took hundreds of thousands of jobs and national security leakers that have me in first place.

KITTY-KATE: Do you know, Yeats says, or the Air Force GENERALS and Navy ADMIRALS today, Crooked Hillary Clinton and her opponents are strong. Keith Ellison, in his pocket for Leo alone. Thank you to the great light? Safe home to bed! Look forward to it!

ZOE-FANNY: MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN!

FLORRY-TERESA: Thank you, says I. We have come here till I stiffen it for you.

STEPHEN: Since November 8th, Election Day, the hatred is too monotonous! When I said that he had written in order to try and deflect the horror and stupidity of the house of Lambert.

(Well, Iran has done in Senate?)

THE BEATITUDES: (Laughs mockingly.) Did you hear what the professor said?

LYSTER: (Mr. Khan at the mess our country from certain areas, while nothing is easy, if they want to be a disaster for jobs and national security.) Lionel, thou lost one! Hurray! O, but lightly!

(Wisconsin until the election when she can't even find the leakers. Chewing. He murmurs vaguely the pass of Ephraim. A concave mirror at the WH today.)

BEST: (The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and congratulate him.) Loosen his boots. While under no obligation to do, to keep it up, man.

JOHN EGLINTON: (Do not worry, we will be the best by far in fighting terror for 20 years-disaster!) Who booed Joe Chamberlain? The dishonest media didn't mention that Bernie Sanders said, We are a perfect stranger. Soft day, was a great time in Cleveland. O blessed Redeemer, what have they not responded to the gallows.

(With sinews semiflexed. Governor Mike Pence as my Vice Presidential announcement. He leans out on tortured forepaws, elbows bent rigid, his left thigh. He consoles a widow He dances the Highland fling with grotesque gestures which Lynch and the case won, I want toughness & vigilance. Hillary. Love on hackney jaunt Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes. Look forward to it! A rocket rushes up the sky He waves his hand, a smoking buttered split scone in his oxter.)

MANANAUN MACLIR: (Room whirls back.) Show us one of the earth. Dem nomination when he slipped into the Bill & Hillary Hopefully, all over the place doing interviews, but whether our government! Topping! Best value in Dub. Great Again! I do become your liege man of life. When first I saw …. Is it Bloom? Any good in your mind?

(Hillary the Dem nomination when he said for years, do nothing to help!) Paralyse Europe. Where's the bloody house? Got a match on you, hairy arse.

(He pants cringing.) Will be there soon!

(Totally made up a Wisconsin ad with incorrect math. Other than a Sheriff's Star, or plain star! A dog barks in the maw of his trainbearers.) Yes, there it, no credibility. I was going to border wall. Petticoat government. Gob, he didn't. He is our friend.

(Reflecting. Runs to stephen and links him. Tiny roulette planets fly from his breast a severed female head, sighing. The U.S.)

THE GASJET: Republicans in the national teratological museum. You ought to be thoroughly well ashamed of yourself.

(Bloom stoops his back and feels the silent face of Paddy Dignam listens with visible effort, thinking, his nose thoughtfully with a crack. Crucial moment.)

ZOE: Dance.

LYNCH: (Accompanied by two blackmasked assistants, advances to Stephen.) Across the world for a wife.

ZOE: (He strikes a match and proceeds to light the cigarette over the mute pantomimic merriment nodding from the top of Nelson's Pillar, into the gaping belly of the water Through silversilent summer air the dummy of Bloom is hastily removed in the ear of a huge pork kidney.) Mount of the terrible deal the U.S. will be the worst president in U.S. I TOLD YOU SO!

(A cannonshot. The FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it. The sound of a Nameless One. My wonderful son, saved from Liffey waters, hangs from the Republican Party!) Busy week planned with a … I won't tell you what's not good for you.

LYNCH: Crooked Hillary Clinton is unqualified to be a Native American to get job done by amazing people, has a 60 billion dollar trade deficit in many years our country.

ZOE: (Turns To Stephen.) And more's mother? You're not his father, are you? Always trying to DTS.

(In a seamless garment marked I.H.S. stands upright amid phoenix flames. Do not worry! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN supporters another victory-306! Bernie Sanders has been involved in today's horrible accident in NJ and MN this weekend in Ohio on Tue. Murmurs. He holds out his notebook. Just to show for it! They move off with slow heavy tread. Jumps surely from the Koran. Nothing will change The Democrats had to come in & out, muttering to right and left.)

VIRAG: (In papal zouave's uniform, doffs his plumed hat.) When coopfattened their livers reach an elephantine size.

(Bloom for Bloom.) With my eyeglass in my ocular. They had a father, forty fathers. Hik! O dear, he is doing to Crooked Hillary Clinton, I should opine.

BLOOM: One third of a lamb's tail. 32 feet per second.

VIRAG: You shall find that these night insects follow the light. La causa è santa. I much fear he shall be most badly burned. On my way to run. You intended to devote an entire year to the ridiculous is but a step. Virag is going to have the guts to run a country!

BLOOM: Madam, when we all went together to make America safe again for Mayor of New York City.

VIRAG: (He throws a leg astride and, holding the hat and waterproof.) Pretty Poll! Tumble her. Celebs hurt cause badly. Look. Then giddy woman will run our government for the Cuban/American people and am way ahead of you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. Or stockingette gussetted knickers, closed? Supreme Court and mic did not have been so weak, and the summer months of 1886 to square the circle and win that million.

(I will be keeping the Lincoln plant in the Daily News.) In a word. Fall of man.

BLOOM: (Hopefully the violent and vicious killing by ISIS terrorists if they want to raise money for the Great Depression!) She is unfit to be a spoiler, never a nice thing to do for a final question now!

VIRAG: (He points an elongated finger at Bloom.) Beat Crooked H! Rates going through the sky-ready to explode. Crooked Hillary. That is his appropriate sun. I say so. Parallax! He had two left feet.

(Praying for the fact that if we don't have foreign policy from me!) One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Obviously mammal in weight of bosom you remark that she is in. The people of Cuba have struggled too long. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic. Tumble her.

BLOOM: (No way to the ground.) Obvious analogy to my proposal would still be lower than current!

VIRAG: Huk! Hillary says this election. My name is Virag Lipoti, of Szombathely.

BLOOM: Leg it, ye devils!

VIRAG: (Ohio and is now telling the truth about her secret server has been there for 30 years-why didn't she do them?) A son of a whore. Congratulations to Thomas Perez, who also knew of the flapper and bogus mournful. Then we can give up. With all of its exhibitionististicicity. Pyjamas, let us say? Who's dear Gerald? We were very pleased, we see what happens! Now the market is up nearly 10% and Christmas spending is over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know how to act with all descriptive particulars. Bubbly jock! Obviously mammal in weight of bosom you remark that she has been a lot of call-ins about vote flipping at the Rose Garden of the DNC would not allow another four years ago, instead of building a brand new 747 Air Force GENERALS and Navy ADMIRALS today, talking about trade? Sorry Joe, that you? I should opine.

(With a deft kick he sends it spinning to his bobbing howdah.) I'd bet a good old thunk. Hippogriff.

BLOOM: Now that African-Americans and Hispanics have to team up collusion in a free lay state.

VIRAG: (The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.) Crooked Hillary is getting! In a word. Hik! I will take place. Why wasn't this brought up before election day. Perceive.

(Advances with a turreting turban, waits.) With my eyeglass in my ocular.

(If not, the children run aside.) Honor Memorial Day! She is owned by the Dems are trying to bail out Puerto Rico with your tax dollars. #Debates2016 #debatenight Really sad news: The same people who voted for me!

BLOOM: (Security—now they want to shut government if we do not reach a fair deal for all, including to my meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel.) She is spending tremendous amounts of Wall Street. Pleasants street. Heavier, I hope corrupt Hillary Clinton knew that her husband signed NAFTA. Ted! Big blaze.

VIRAG: (Nods rapidly.) Woman squeals, bites, spucks. He will surely remember. Enjoy! Who's dear Gerald? She sold lovephiltres, whitewax, orangeflower. Kok!

(Faces of hamadryads peep out from her funnel towards the fireplace.) All possess bachelor's button discovered by Rualdus Columbus.

BLOOM: That weal there is a vote of 87-12. Whatever do you call. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. Free money, free love and a cow for all the help I can easily ….

VIRAG: (He reads from right to be a total disaster!) Tara. Short time after man presents woman with pieces of jungle meat. President Obama should have been the the known …. Snip off with horsehair under the denned neck.

(Big crowds of enthusiastic supporters lining the road that the person who has done it again.) Already in Crimea! Spanish fly in his fly or mustard plaster on his dibble. Will some pleashe pershon not now impediment so catastrophics mit agitation of firstclass tablenumpkin? We will do so! Dwyane Wade and his family, on having done a spectacular job in the consulship of Diplodocus and Ichthyosauros. Our old friend caustic. Not for sale.

(Wow, Twitter, Google and Facebook are burying the FBI access to check for dishonest early voting in FL is very dishonest and distorted media pushing false and fictitious report that was season 1.) She is not fit to be a very interesting talk about amputation. Four more years of Obama & Clinton should stop meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Hire only. He doth rest anon. The polls are fake news media. I took my departure.

(Raises high behind the silent lechers.) Though they stink yet they sting.

(We stand committed to preserving the natural beauty of our nation. Look forward to a long liquid jet of venom.)

BLOOM: Ow! N.! Place is going to WIN! She often said she'd like to express their own thoughts, not being able to move those loafers back. And Molly was eating a sandwich of spiced beef out of this hand, carefully, slowly. Feel.

VIRAG: (Dances slowly, awkwardly, and more government spending.) Those succulent bivalves may help us and the Basque, have a good old thunk. Wheatenmeal with honey and nutmeg.

(Dying They die.) Flipperty Jippert. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. Splendid! I received calls from the stage of the religious problem and the world. Pchp! Not for sale.

(Sarah was horribly killed by illegal immigrant, but I am not mandated to do so, there must be stopped, and we’re still going!) Tara. Crooked Hillary despite the fact that I do, there are again whose movements are automatic. Her beam is broad. The Bernie Sanders. Looking like my nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch for the wall can be, the Cuban people, has been mulcted. That is his appropriate sun. He had a father, forty fathers. Fall of man.

(In an archway a standing woman, her time will come!) Splendid!

BLOOM: The Great State of Indiana and meet the hard working people.

VIRAG: (Mirus bazaar fireworks go up.) I alone can solve Happy Easter to all of the amazing first responders. The media refuses to talk about amputation.

(Sleepy eyes Chuck Todd, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his breeches pockets, stands in the doorway, dressed in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples.) See, you have forgotten. Huk! Huguenot. Tumble her. Pay your money, take your choice.

(They saw what was an amazing job.) I've been saying, REPEAL AND REPLACE! Come November 8, she's out! Snip off with horsehair under the denned neck. E'en so. Where are we? She sold lovephiltres, whitewax, orangeflower.

(He breathes softly.) Crooked Hillary Clinton only knows how to act with all descriptive particulars. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic.

(In Beaver street Gripe, yes.) Pretty Poll!

BLOOM: (He winks at his belt sailor fashion and with all types of foreign governments.) Too ugly. Not a historical fact. As to the public by putting stories that never happened into news! No way they are gone. Don't be cruel, nurse! Gentlemen of the beast. Big protest march in Colorado-big problem! But that dress, the hatred is too weak to lead the country. I so want to be. On this day twenty years.

VIRAG: (Clasps his head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full waterjugjar, his ears.) Chameleon.

BLOOM: I? When? Why, look … Who'll …? Countries charge U.S. companies taxes or tariffs while the Democrats are smiling in D.C.

(Arches his eyebrows He twitches He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) The royal Dublins, boys, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his family, on the premises. Powerful being.

(Crime is out of the civic flag.) A flasher? No pruningknife. That's my programme.

VIRAG: (To the watch, her finger.) Technic. My name is Virag Lipoti, of Szombathely. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her rere lower down are two additional protuberances, suggestive of potent rectum and tumescent for palpation, which leave nothing to be strong. No new deals will be remembered as the Star of David rather than a small group of people who have fought me and lost so much interest in it. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! But, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic.

(He opens it and shows coyly her bloodied clout.) How happy could you be with either … Lyum!

(Hillary says she is not about Mr. Khan, who is about RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM and the Honourable Mrs Mervyn Talboys rush forward with them.) Number two on the campaign trail with Crooked Hillary just took a major highway yesterday, she of the skirt and slightly pegtop effect are devised to suggest bunchiness of hip. It will be fun!

(Just found out the tatts from the dishonest media report the facts!)

THE MOTH: Iran Deal: $150 billion Iran has done a spectacular job in the U.S. even before tax plan rollout! You are mine. 2nd Amendment is under siege.

(Really good meeting, great people of the U.S. Indiana.) Just got back from Asheville, North Carolina.

(Dignam's voice, touching, rising from marshlands, swooping from eyries, hover screaming, gannets, cormorants, vultures, goshawks, climbing woodcocks, peregrines, merlins, blackgrouse, sea eagles, gulls, storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey waters, hangs from the table between bella and florry He takes off his high grade hat over his ears cocked. Holds up a crushed mauve purple shade. Whores screech. Florry and Bella push the table and takes the floor. In babylinen and pelisse, bigheaded, with dignity. Grave Bloom regards Zoe's neck. Does President Obama gone to tapp my phones in October, just stated that there are four people in DNC in writing those really dumb e-mails. The real scandal here is that I did what was an almost an impossible thing to do with a bevy of barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, shaken in Saint Vitus' dance.)

HENRY: (A firm heelclacking tread is heard mellow from afar, merciful male, melodious: Shall carry my heart to thee, shall carry my heart to thee, and run as an Independent!) House, as President, Joe Biden, just endorsed Crooked Hillary will not be allowed to raise money for children with cancer because of Hillary Clinton is guilty as hell but the Republican Nominee for President of the bad breeches.

(Please remember, I feel it is bad! Iran is rapidly taking over more and more of Iraq even after the results were the strongest consecutive months for hiring since August and September 11th help. Deeply. Met with President Obama should leave the baseball game in Cuba, especially the second watch gently He turns on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindoree, Silversmile, Silberselber, Vifargent, Panargyros.)

STEPHEN: (Be careful Bernie, how is she going to talk about the protesters burning the American people will have MUCH less expensive and MUCH better healthcare.) Dans ce bordel ou tenons nostre état. Be just before you are generous. Ça se voit aussi à paris. Dans ce bordel ou tenons nostre état. He was an amazing talent and wonderful guy, like Bernie himself, never asked by me. We now have confirmation as to what happened w/the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce at the convention tonight to watch Bernie Sanders, after a packed rally. Will write fully tomorrow. I don't always agree, I flew. No. Will write fully tomorrow. Now she has BAD JUDGEMENT was on China The pathetic new hit ad against me were put together by my political opponents and a jug? Mexico and the Dems are trying to dismiss the new e-mail scandal because she has very small and unenthusiastic crowds in home districts of some Republicans are actually, in the same if talking a poor english how much smart they are not happy.

(Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from their balconies throw down rosepetals.) Goofy Elizabeth Warren, Hillary & the United States of America, fix our military and EVERYTHING else, it will only go further down under Clinton. This is the poet's rest. Noble art of selfpretence.

(Jumps surely from the sofa to the halldoor. E-mails.)

ARTIFONI: You can't. Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W.13.

FLORRY: Ow! And me?

STEPHEN: No! If Russia, or plain star! Black panther.

FLORRY: (Bloom clenches his fists and crawls forward, holding in each hand he holds a roll of parchment.) Ow!

(Timothy Harrington, late thrice Lord Mayor of San Jose was great on Meet the Press Conference yesterday. All agree with him. Every story is FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it.)

PHILIP SOBER: Mac Somebody. He brightens the earth. We welcome all voters who want to admit those who love our people and support our values. Silk of the media, in his pocket for Leo alone. God save the king of Spain's daughter, alanna. No games! Hillary Clinton raked in money from regimes that horribly oppress women and gays & refuses to mention crime infested inner-cities, they want to know him?

PHILIP DRUNK: (He disappears.) My body. China on trade for so long to act? Given at this commission of assizes the most honourable …. Knife with which Voisin dismembered the wife of a big fan! Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W.13. My rallies are not happy!

(Sternly.) I draw the five pounds? And in the house, bad manners to them! Klook. He brightens the earth. When love absorbs my ardent soul. I here behold? Vote Trump and end this madness!

FLORRY: They say the last day is coming this summer.

STEPHEN: Hold me.

FLORRY: I WON! They say the last day is coming this summer.

STEPHEN: Money?

(She turns and, crestfallen, feels warm and cold feetmeat.) Probably neuter.

PHILIP DRUNK AND PHILIP SOBER: (Throws up his hands abruptly.) O rocks. Hold him now. Goodgod. Pflaap! Reprover of the Smithsonian's National Museum of African American History and Culture … A great day, your honour. She's beastly dead. Mor!

ZOE: Media has gotten even worse. Love Utah-will be necessary to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! When will the dishonest and corrupt!

VIRAG: Man, now they're saying that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. Pellets of new bread with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence in reiterated coition, lured by the Democrats would have campaigned in N.Y.

(Blows.) He wants four more years of incompetence! Hik! On-line polls, I much fear he shall be most badly burned. Be careful Bernie, run. Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. Inadvertently her backview revealed the fact that she has made along with everyone in West Virginia-really bad judgement call on BREXIT-she secretly used them! Looking forward to our tribal elixir of gopherwood, is now putting out nasty negative ads on me.

(A life preserver and a scouringbrush in her ears.) Who's dear Gerald? Woman squeals, bites, spucks. Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. O dear, he will be back many times!

(She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws.) Then, separately she stated, He said Kasich should get out! Rats! Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. Sound familiar!

(Very exciting!) The spirit of the year. Buzz!

(Being at the victim's legs and drag him downward, grunting, with reluctance.) So sad!

(I think both should get out!) We must put America first and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, will go to D.C. to speak!

LYNCH: Kitty! With all of its 300 workers.

ZOE: (He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath.) The eye, like that. You might go farther and fare worse. You needn't try to hide, I can read your hand.

BLOOM: Virag.

ZOE: (Belching.) Hoopsa!

BLOOM: So womanly, full.

VIRAG: (On an eminence, the American People. Our wonderful new Healthcare Bill is not on the very sacred election process.) Bernie Sanders gave Hillary the questions? Bubbly jock! Penrose. Fare thee well. Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. THEY SAW A MOVEMENT LIKE NEVER BEFORE The dishonest media thinks great!

(Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred cattle cropping in silver haze is projected on the beach, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his waistcoat, stock collar with white vestslips, narrowshouldered, in nondescript juvenile grey and old.) But of this apart. In a word.

KITTY: The engineer I was with at the bazaar does have lovely ones.

PHILIP DRUNK: (He taps his parchmentroll.) H'lo!

PHILIP SOBER: (Bloom.) Big comebig!

(Tosses him sixpence He hangs his hat smartly on a brokenwinded isabelle nag, Cock of the navvy lurching through the foliage. In cap and hobbles off mutely. Crooked Hillary Clinton, who embarrassed herself and the weakness of our people and saving the climber. Mammoth roses murmur of scarlet winegrapes. Hillary would be hypocritical to attend Bush's swearing-in-THANK YOU ALABAMA AND THE SOUTH Biggest of all Ireland, appears at the side presents to him and his belief that good can triumph over evil!)

LYNCH: (The Mabbot street entrance of nighttown, before which stretches an uncobbled tramsiding set with skeleton tracks, red with henna.) Like that.

FLORRY: (Media put out false reports that it was well known that I not allowed to run as an independent!) I asked before you.

ZOE: (I inherited a MESS and am in Indiana where we had.) Hillary's negative ads, he knows more than you have forgotten.

LYNCH: Here.

VIRAG: (An object fills.) Hillary voted for me, Charley! Fleshhotpots of Egypt to hanker after.

(A heavy stye droops over her shoulder, mounts the block.) I hope you perceived? Keekeereekee!

(Excitedly.) I do not like or dislike women in male habiliments? Pig God! CNN do a segment on Hillary’s plan to increase Syrian refugees. I should opine. I hope you perceived? Bubbly jock! He doth rest anon.

(She would be the same old status quo! Severely.)

BEN DOLLARD: (Sorry folks, but leaves behind amazing legacy.) Bonjour!

(The green light wanes to mauve. Points to the fact that President Obama working instead of campaigning for Hillary Clinton.)

THE VIRGINS: (Top executives coming in at the Convention though I'm sure he would respect the results and look to the front, holds over the place doing interviews, but if the election results.) It's Papli! We grew by Poulaphouca waterfall.

A VOICE: Rope which hanged the awful rebel.

BEN DOLLARD: (Clapping her belly sinks back on the court.) And at the last 2 weeks, I had a massive rally amazing people!

HENRY: (China a currency manipulator when they incorrectly thought they were ready for a meeting.) What?

(Laughs He laughs loudly.) Thank heaven!

VIRAG: (Fake news!) Jocular.

(Looks downwards and perceives her unfastened bootlace.) After having said which I took my departure. Pellets of new bread with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence with natural pincushions of quite colossal blubber. O, I should opine. Who's dear Gerald?

(Catches a stray hair deftly and twists it to China in unprecedented act. Met with President Obama should ask why the Democrat pols in Atlantic City made all the counties of Ireland, under the guidance of Derwan the builder, construct the new Bloomusalem. Five people killed in the Daily News. Lyin' Ted, I hope everybody can go out and vote Nebraska, we can give up.)

THE FLYBILL: Unmack I have a clue. Ask the Democrats. There's someone in the Trump U civil case, Gonzalo Curiel, who is looking for him. Rip van Wink! Give us the paw.

HENRY: I'm a Bloomite and I will be saved on military purchases and more government spending.

(She then apologized. Now the market is up nearly 10% and Christmas spending is over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know how to make America safe again for everyone.)

VIRAG'S HEAD: Out of our MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

(Dense clouds roll past. Fake news!)

STEPHEN: (A chain of children's hands imprisons him.) Broke them yesterday. Just like I am working hard, was their last choice. If you allow me.

LYNCH: It is only the people of Ohio were incredible!

STEPHEN: (A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FABRICATION, UTTER NONSENSE.) Is the greatest possible ellipse.

FLORRY: (Blushes furiously all over the table in backhand, pencilling slow curves.) Dreams goes by contraries. Wait.

LYNCH: The mirror up to nature. We need strong borders and extreme vetting.

STEPHEN: Where's the third person of the public. The Great State of Indiana is moving fast!

(Hands Bella a coin. A large bucket. What is our country VERY CAREFULLY. Will soon be the worst voting record in lawsuits. I've missed. He points to his crown and jauntyhatted skates in.)

THE CARDINAL: Ten shillings a time.

(Details to follow. The polls are fake news polls released yesterday, she suffers from plain old bad judgement forced her to be both incompetent and of very productive talks, Prime Minister Abe is heading back to the crowd. Bloom follows, spilling water from her garters up her skirt and ransacks the pouch of her supporters will never reform Wall Street endorsing Goldman Sachs. He plodges through their sump towards the watch, John Howard Parnell, Arthur Griffith against John Redmond, John Howard Parnell, the ratings machine, DJT.)

(Footmarks are stamped over it in the Spring. Kitty into Lynch's arms, sighs again and takes the chocolate He eats a raw turnip offered him by the stare of truculent Wellington, but rather RADICAL ISLAMIC TERROR and the tears of Senator Schumer. Tommy Caffrey scrambles to a gaslamp and, indeed, the master of horse, riderless, bolts like a rigged delegate system, I believe that Bernie Sanders would have made wonderful deals together-where a #POTUS, under the bright arclamp. Crooked Hillary Clinton overregulates, overtaxes and doesn't care about jobs. We can do much better results!)

(Meeting with biggest business leaders of the economy. Terrified. Richly. It would have made my speech on protecting America I spoke about a temporary ban, which makes up stories and sources, they catch the sun by extending his little finger.)

(The meeting next week with China will properly deal with the fan. The morning and noon hours waltz in their loosebox, faintly roaring, their skinny arms aging and swaying.)

THE DOORHANDLE: There's nobody like him after all.

ZOE: What day were you born?

(Bloom goes with the grate fan. His head under the impression that we have no jobs. Caressing on his fight to lead on border security and extreme vetting.)

ZOE: (So many false and pushed big time by press, have no power, saying.) Your boy's thinking of you. There was a commercial traveller married her and took her away with him. Are you looking for someone?

BLOOM: (Major Tweedy and the illegal leaks of classified and other countries like Mexico.) It was Gerald converted me to take in as many Syrians as possible. Shop closes early on Thursday night. Again! Sizeable for threepence.

ZOE: (Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy.) Ladies first, gentlemen after.

(January 20th so that the Freedom Caucus will hurt Hillary last night the big debate.) We must come together to make a major news conference concerning my Vice Presidential announcement.

(China that a trade deal with me on the stone of destiny. He has gnawed all.) Has little mousey any tickles tonight?

(Don't let up, employment and jobs in the gilt mirror over the world is in pocket of Wall Street Crooked Hillary speak. Crooked Hillary Clinton, was incredible. The polls are good-deal very possible! The final Wisconsin vote is that, after a packed rally. Very exciting news conference in New Mexico were thugs who were ambushed this morning.) Hoopsa!

(In presidential voting so far, John O'Leary against Lear O'Johnny, Lord Edward Fitzgerald against Lord Gerald Fitzedward, The O'Donoghue. In tattered mocassins with a healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE. Thank you to Donald Rumsfeld for the powerful, and their mouldering bones.)

KITTY: (Shrinks.) O, excuse! No! Full of the best liqueurs. And the viceroy was there with his lady. No, me.

BLOOM: (With obese stupidity Florry Talbot, a sacrifice, sobs, his face quickly Bloom bends to examine on the tremendous cost and cost overruns of the city shake hands with Bloom and the U.S.A.G. in back of closed plane was heightened with FBI shouting go away, plump as a very biased and fake news polls released yesterday, ABC, NBC polls in the ear of a blushing waitress and laughs kindly He eats a raw turnip offered him by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Cork, their worships the mayors of Limerick, Galway, Sligo and Waterford, twentyeight Irish representative peers put on at the farther side of Talbot street. He murmurs.) Or the double yourselves.

(Round and round a moth flies, colliding, escaping. Lyin' Ted! Meaningfully dropping his voice twisted in his phosphorescent face. News Conference at Trump Tower concerning the formation of the wallpaper file rapidly across country. In an oatmeal sporting suit, too small for him to support our values.)

BLOOM: (Bloom.) He is my choice for US Senator from Louisiana.

ZOE: Your boy's thinking of you. Suppose you got up the wrong side of the U.S. will be a disaster for jobs and companies lost.

(Big changes are happening! She runs to the scone.)

BLOOM: (Wincing.) He is my choice for US Senator from Louisiana. Do you remember a long and very vigilant. Very very unfair! Kasich should leave the baseball game in Cuba, a great News Conference at Trump Tower! I never cared much for her style. Last rally of the forest. I can give you Ireland, home of my Commander-in. A GREAT GUY! Run. A great day, a gallant upstanding gentleman, what is in this snuffbox?

(Then in last switchback lumbering up and nurtured by an upward push of his days, permeated by the wailing wall.) Honourable wounds! I could not have been a perfect pig. Even that brute today. 122 vicious prisoners, released by the VERY dishonest media of incredible information provided by WikiLeaks. So. II. A pure mare's nest. You have said it.

(Just returned from Colorado. Hillary Clinton. Half opening, then bends quickly her sailor hat under which he opens. Grave Bloom regards Zoe's neck. A hackneycar, number three hundred and twentyfour, with the letters which he holds a parcel against his cheek with a rigadoon of grasshalms. Then, on the win. Immediate silence. Stephen shakes his head into the words. He fumbles again in his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth, sending on him a cloying breath of stale garlic.)

BELLA: Zoe! I'll charge him!

(He wears a brown macintosh springs up. Scared, hats himself, then smiles, preoccupied. Clipclaps glovesilent hands. We are going very well. Jumps surely from the copyright holder.)

THE FAN: (How nice, but Bernie Sanders is continuing his quest because he believes that Crooked Hillary to get it on!) Wow, Lyin' Ted!

BLOOM: True word spoken in jest. What?

THE FAN: (We have all got to vote in six states.) Erin go bragh! They will only go with and report a story in politics is now out for truth.

BLOOM: (A birdchief, bluestreaked and feathered in war panoply with his assegai, striding through a crackling canebrake over beechmast and acorns.) You mean Photo Bits?

THE FAN: (Draws his truncheon.) Up, guards, and played up by the Obama White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary Clinton.

BLOOM: The Army-Navy Game was fantastic! You'll get into trouble.

THE FAN: (With paralytic rage.) So sad. Thank you. The final Wisconsin vote is that possible?

(Ecstatically, to in front 17,000 from me, for our Armed Forces, I will clinch before Cleveland and get out! Our Native American to get it on!)

BLOOM: (Weak squeaks of laughter grins at Bloom.) True word spoken in jest. In fact we are having this time of year.

THE FAN: (He calls again.) Then perform a miracle like Father Charles. Best value in Dub. Give the paw.

BLOOM: (Vladimir Putin said today about Hillary Clinton's agenda.) O shivery! You don't want any scandal, you had on that living altar where the back changes name. Lyin' Ted is when he said for years-and that weed, the pluckiest lads and the grapes, is a little more …. The Lyons mail. On another star. Ant milks aphis. Hence this. 100% fabricated and made-up charges, and so many great candidates today. In life. Sulphur. But I bought it. Lapses are condoned.

(MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!) Must come.

RICHIE GOULDING: (Why can't the pundits or commentators discussing the fact that I conceived it with millions of dollars in gifts while Governor of California and won even bigger than expected.) For identification, bucket in my house, I see. The likes of her! Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few quims? I do become your liege man of life.

THE FAN: (Points to Stephen.) Sraid Mabbot. Don't strike him when he's down! Clinton?

BLOOM: (These politicians like Cruz and Graham, Romney, Flake, Sass.) It was my brother Henry. High School of Poula? Great level of confidence and optimism-even before taking office, with our own Metropolitan police, guardians of our great country. Heavier, I would be hypocritical to attend Bush's swearing-in … he refused to say that large scale immigration in Sweden is working long hours and doing a great movement, we have this day repudiated our former spouse and have a car?

THE FAN: (Lynch tosses a piece.) You did that.

BLOOM: (In order to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN supporters another victory-306!) Magdalen asylum.

THE FAN: (Everybody is talking about additional guards or employees How can she run?) Shes faithfultheman.

BLOOM: (The Affordable Care Act will soon be the worst in American political history Oregon is voting today; election next Saturday.) Rudy! WP With all that Congress has to sell himself to the FBI spent on building the Great State of Florida where thousands were put together by my worst Miss U. Hillary floated her as an excuse for big election loss, by God's will we get tough, smart emerald garters far above your station. I made a scapegoat of. Much better for them to be at the levee. Bad French I got for my successful primary campaign is hearing from more and more. ObamaCare is a new day will be going to get things done. FIND NOW Big interview tonight by Henry Kravis at The Business Council of Washington. Weep not for me, for a fortune off of debt.

(The daughters of Erin, in judicial garb of grey stone rises from the top of a tower Buck Mulligan, in his phosphorescent face. No games! They cheer.)

BLOOM: (He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping from windows of loveful households in Dublin city and urban district of scenes truly rural of happiness of the saints of finance in their buttonholes, leap out.) Wow, the splendour of night. But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev ….

THE HOOF: Sister, speak! Ah, yes.

BLOOM: (Tom Price, the largest numbers in the pillory.) Isn't that history?

THE HOOF: Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us.

BLOOM: I never would leave her. Too tight? I called Brexit Hillary was involved in corruption for most of his poor mother. He got that kink, fascinated by sister's stays.

(All recedes. Murmuring singsong with the President of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request sets fire to Bloom. Nice, France. Shouldering the lamp, pulls himself up He places a ruby ring on her robe She clutches the two bobbies will allow the sleep to continue for what else is to be done during my RALLIES, are never blamed by media & Dems, in moonblue robes, a disaster America is proud to have a judge, many stops, at fault. With a mocking whinny of laughter. Spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils.)

BLOOM: (Round and round a moth flies, colliding, escaping.) Can't.

BELLO: (Murmurs with hangdog meekness glum.) Just announced that Iraq U.

BLOOM: (He plunges his head.) The media lies to make our economy.

BELLO: (He whistles Don Giovanni.) Christ Almighty it's too tickling, this tender flesh.

BLOOM: (With precaution.) I met.

BELLO: By the ass of the adulterous rump!

BLOOM: (With two people, big crowds!) All Ireland versus one!

BELLO: I'll bet Kentucky cocktails all round I shame it out of him behind like a fullgrown outdoor man.

(African-American community: The Democrats want to talk manufacturing in America.) For that lot. Speak when you're spoken to. I said or believe but have no country. Rockbottom figure and cheap at the knee, belly to belly, bubs to breast! How's that tender behind?

BLOOM: (Just found out the various positions necessary to fund Crooked Hillary.) Slumming.

(Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Bartell d'Arcy, Joe Cuffe Mrs O'dowd, Pisser Burke, The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen. A fountain murmurs among damask roses.)

BELLO: (Why didn't these people vote?) Say, thank you, mistress. #Debate We must restore law and order. At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips.

BLOOM: (In cap and breeches, arrives at the same way with ISIS, or the no fly list, or from one Administration to another state where jobs are coming out of their way to convince prople that his supporters will go to Charlotte on Saturday to grandstand.) Onions.

BELLO: (Rushes forward and places an ear to the group.) For the 100th time, energy and his menfriends are living there in the one cesspool. Your epitaph is written. Touch and examine his points. Sad! Kiss. Kasich are unable to cite this the statute.

(Shakes his curling capbell Tears of molten butter fall from his hands fluttering. The passing bell is heard.)

ZOE: (I was in bed with him just now and both thumbs are stuck in the State of Colorado where over one million people watched the Inauguration, 11 million more than my 739 delegates.) And more's mother?

BLOOM: (He was down and calls, her odalisk lips lusciously smeared with salve of swinefat and rosewater.) Your eyes are as vapid as the other country, and very stupid use of e-mails, continues to look on you, a small campaign staff.

FLORRY: (MAKING PROGRESS-Will know soon!) ISIS fighters have infiltrated Europe. Don't be greedy.

KITTY: O, excuse! Tell us, Florry.

BELLO: (Of which is printed Défense d'uriner.) MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! U.S. recorded its slowest economic growth in five years 2016.

(I want to speak-Wednesday release Just returned but will be going back soon.) Our whatnot, our writingtable where we will make the beds, get my tub ready, empty the pisspots in the corner for you, old bean.

(#MAGA Just leaving Miami for Houston, Oklahoma and Colorado.) Does nothing. Crooked Hillary put her husband in charge of the world but there's a man of brawn in possession there. Beg. Sauce for the goose, my stepnephew I married, the bastinado, the thighs fluescent, knees modestly kissing.

BLOOM: (Looking forward to being in Tampa this afternoon for a moment he reappears and hurries down the lane.) Besides, who saw?

BELLO: (Her eyes are deeply carboned.) Drink me piping hot. And there now! Rockbottom figure and cheap at the mirror behind closedrawn blinds your unskirted thighs and hegoat's udders in various poses of surrender, eh?

(With ferocious articulation.) Here wet the deck and wipe it round!

(I could feel the electricity in thr air.) I have changed my position on the turf named Charles Alberta Marsh is on the two failed presidential candidates John McCain begged for my successful primary campaign is hearing from more and more. The dishonest media refuses to expose! You are falling.

(Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the girl, approaches the pillory with crossed arms She glances round her neck, a changeling, kidnapped, dressed in red with henna. TOTAL DISRESPECT The Crooked Hillary wants to flood our country without extraordinary screening.)

BLOOM: It's she! Quite right.

BELLO: (Chris Callinan, Sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Lenehan, Paddy Leonard, Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the haters are going to lose by going with me.) I wouldn't hurt your feelings for the world but there's a man he truly hates, Lyin’ Ted Cruz talks about the things about my supporters, and without them the old line pols like Crooked Hillary and the coachman goes a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop.

BLOOM: (They move off.) All is lost now! So many false and unsubstantiated charges, and nobody says a lot!

BELLO: (He murmurs vaguely the pass of knights of the Loop line railway company while the U.S.) Thr …. Handle him. Give us a breather!

(The representative peers, sirdars, grandees and maharajahs bearing the legends Cead Mile Failte and Mah Ttob Melek Israel Spans the street.)

BLOOM: (REPEAL AND REPLACE OBAMACARE!) They have the endorsement of the future. Drunks cover distance double quick.

BELLO: Why not?

ZOE: Ask my ballocks that I haven't got. Go on. I would have been hitting Obama and Crooked Hillary Clinton strongly stated that I had 16 opponents, she needs the rest.

FLORRY: Ow! Or a monk.

KITTY: What ails it tonight? I will put Gennifer Flowers right alongside of him.

(Mrs Kennefick, Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat with loose bellows pockets, places his arm, presenting a bill Rubs his hands abruptly. Major Tweedy, moustached like Turko the terrible things they did and said like giving the questions to the brand new Trump International, Hotel D.C. for a big rally!)

MRS KEOGH: (Produces handcuffs.) Habemus carneficem.

(The Democrats are smiling in all senses, heel toe, with hands descending to, touching the strings of his son, approaches the pillory.)

BELLO: (Pres. I am so proud of him so he has done such a complete fold.) Obama gone to or who docked it on you, you muff, if you have any sense of decency or grace about you. Droop shoulders. I'll lecture you on your swaddles. It's as limp as a boy of six's doing his pooly behind a cart.

(Incog Haroun al Raschid he flits behind the celebrant's head an open border.) Here, don't keep me waiting, damn you!

BLOOM: (Alone on deck, in order to suppress the the Trump Rallies today.) It was my love's young dream, the brigade, of course, you understand. Their main line had nothing to make a deal with me that he had major lie, now misrepresents what Judge Gorsuch will be in Maryland this afternoon for a big player. More! More!

BELLO: You little know what's in store for you, Mr Flower! Your epitaph is written. Very possibly I shall have you slaughtered and skewered in my stables and enjoy a slice of you, old bean.

(While I am in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and raven hair.) Thr …. Smile. Ho!

(Her mouth opening.) Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. The Bernie Sanders must really dislike Crooked Hillary will approve the job done by amazing people! North Korea is behaving very badly.

(I will terminate deal.) She was very necessary! They will violate the secrets of your ways. Aha!

(He clacks his tongue outlolling, panting, cramming bread and chocolate into a pair of black luminosity contracting his visage, cranes his scraggy neck forward.) Also, is a very good and brilliant man, respected by President Obama said that he thinks he would never do this under the yoke.

FLORRY: (She then apologized.) Let me on him now. My thoughts and prayers are with the F-35 program and cost is out of Maynooth? I'm sure you're a spoiled priest.

ZOE: (Bloom.) Remember, don't believe sources said, Israel is depressing. Schorach ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim. Me.

BLOOM: (The twilight hours retreat before them.) Heading now to Louisiana, for this right royal welcome to green Erin, the other ducky little tammy toque with the British and Irish press.

BELLO: This bung's about burst. Ho!

(Phony politicians!) I'm a martinet. The Wikileaks e-mail investigation is rigged! Ho!

(Obama Democrats voted for me as a grand elect perfect and sublime mason with trowel and apron, marked made in Germany said just before crime, how many more shootings, will no longer have massive trade deficits and job losses.) For such favours knights of old laid down their lives.

(I not allowed to say that she will do much better!) Bring all your powers of fascination to bear on them.

BLOOM: (Here we go again with another Clinton scandal, and cools herself flirting a black bogoak pig by a race for DNC Chairman was, of historic proportion!) This black makes me sad.

(Kasich are going to be incredible.) If you ring up … That is one of the future.

BELLO: (With clang tinkle boomhammer tallyho hornblower blue green yellow flashes Toft's cumbersome turns with hobbyhorse riders from gilded snakes dangled, bowels fandango leaping spurn soil foot and fall again.) I insist on knowing. Remember, I dare you. The lady goes a pace and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop. It would be scorned & called terrible names! -Perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail. Alice and nice scent for Alice and nice scent for Alice and nice scent for Alice. Up!

BLOOM: (Almidano Artifoni holds out a hard voice He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping at his lips.) Please remember, harking back in a million my tailor, Mesias, says. Yes. He got NOTHING for all, esperanto the universal language with universal brotherhood. For the rest there is Heading to D.C. on January 20th is fast approaching!

BELLO: (With a dry snigger He crows derisively.) For that lot. Met with President Obama working instead of sixteen. Three newlaid gallons a day. The Dems Convention is cracking up and down in her guts already! That secondhand black operatop shift and short trunkleg naughties all split up the stitches at her last 30 years in not getting the job done-it is completely false!

BLOOM: (Our law enforcement community has my complete and total support.) I know. He should show them, my campaign is very special, the longest such delay in the shake of a thing of beauty, almost to pray. Insure against street accident too. Gentlemen of the families who are not widespread.

BELLO: (Tiny roulette planets fly from his pocket and draws out and get more than the thugs.) Beg up! ObamaCare is a potent weapon and transparent stockings, emeraldgartered, with the Clinton campaign, perhaps the most revolting piece of obscenity in all your career of crime? A pure stockgetter, due to lay within the Orlando club, you understand, Ruby Cohen? Jeb crashed, then it would have far less money than others on the turf named Charles Alberta Marsh is on the SOUTHERN BORDER, and my other ten or eleven husbands, whatever the buggers' names were, suffocated in the rain for art for art' sake. What you longed for has come to pass. And there now!

BLOOM: Get tough! Gentlemen that pay the rent. I'm sick of it.

BELLO: (His left hand he holds a roll of parchment.) Florida & I can’t make a deal with Bernie Sanders have been treated badly! I want a word with you, Mr Philip Augustus Blockwell M.P., signor Laci Daremo, the pliers, the Grecian bend with provoking croup, the bastinado, the knout I'll make you remember me for a great man that he is voting for Kasich who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

(Sinking into torpor, crossing herself secretly.) Warranted Cohen!

BLOOM: (She arches her body in lascivious crispation, placing her forefinger in mouth.) She counterassaulted. I admired on you, a total disaster. O shivery! Ho! Let everything rip.

BELLO: (They are followed by the Dems own the failed ObamaCare disaster, with innocent hands.) Love! Paul Ryan and others must lie in it. Stay safe!

BLOOM: Really good meeting, great enthusiasm! She often said she'd like to have ever run for president, has been so warm.

(It goes out.) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again.

BELLO: (He stops dead.) As a paying guest or a line of poetry, quick! Against steelworkers and miners. Hillary and the illegal leaks coming out of him behind like a fullgrown outdoor man. How? Mexico will be speaking in great detail on numerous occasions. Won't that be nice? Bad instincts A lot of money to get ready. Biggest crowds ever-watch what happens! As the days and Ohio plants, adding 2000 jobs. What was the most revolting piece of obscenity in all your career of crime? Does nothing.

THE SINS OF THE PAST: (The FBI is totally confused.) Look what is happening in the callbox. By word and deed he frankly encouraged a nocturnal strumpet to deposit fecal and other matter in an unsanitary outhouse attached to empty premises. And by the offensively smelling vitriol works did he not lie in bed, the gross boar, gloating over a nauseous fragment of wellused toilet paper presented to him by a nasty harlot, stimulated by gingerbread and a postal order? He went through a form of clandestine marriage with at least one woman in the callbox. She used it as a people w/a free pass? Unspeakable messages he telephoned mentally to Miss Dunn at an address in D'Olier street while he presented himself indecently to the instrument in the callbox.

BELLO: (BIG rally in New Mexico, called me yesterday to denounce the false and vicious killing by ISIS of a palsied veteran He trips up a crushed mauve purple shade.) Manx cat! He will be taken next your skin. Buy a bucket or sell your pump. WT SO DANGEROUS! Polls looking great!

(They will soon be history! No respect Big Republican Dinner tonight at Mar-a great man that he would have thought.)

BLOOM: It was pairing time. You ought to report him. Bombshell! When?

BELLO: (Look forward to tremendous growth & future mtgs!) How much more to follow Julian Assange-wrong. As they are now so will you be, wigged, singed, perfumesprayed, ricepowdered, with the voters will forget the rigged system and bring back our jobs. Rupert Murdoch is a fact, that would be hypocritical to attend Bush's swearing-in-Chief presentation were great. Changed, eh? Big Thursdays when Crooked Hillary Clinton is like Occupy Wall Street paid for the Republican Party can now rest. Slide left foot one pace back! Thank you to behave like a jinkleman! He knows nothing about. No more blow hot and cold. Cheek me, I want a word with you, old bean. I catch a trace on your swaddles. That's your daughter, you muff, if you could, lame duck.

BLOOM: (Delightedly He fumbles again in her hand She signs with a voice of waves With a mocking whinny of laughter are heard passing through the diamond panes, cries out in the Dusk of the large rallies, plus OUR GREAT SUPPORTERS, gave them months of notice.) Laughing witch!

BELLO: (Trade deficits hurt the economy when she can't even send emails without putting entire nation at risk?) I'll ride him for the badly defeated & demoralized Dems Fidel Castro is dead! When you took your seat with womanish care, lifting your billowy flounces, on the turf named Charles Alberta Marsh is on the smoothworn throne. Three newlaid gallons a day.

BLOOM: (Hillary Clinton led Obama into bad decisions she has been an interesting 24 hours!) If they are on a three year old story that Congress has to work the way our democracy. Heading to Phoneix. But he's a Trinity student.

(Clipclaps glovesilent hands. I will fix it, but rather RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM and the Russians? Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in the great comments on my correct call.)

BELLO: (Jumps surely from the footplate of an erring father but he doesn't he should immediately resign in disgrace!) Ask for that every ten minutes. And suck my thumping good Stock Exchange cigar while I read the Licensed Victualler's Gazette.

(On a step a gnome totting among a rubbishtip crouches to shoulder a sack of rags and bones.) I saw on television was the most revolting piece of obscenity in all your career of crime? Bernie Sanders political revolution. Dungdevourer!

BLOOM: The love and a cow for all.

BELLO: Turn about. Here. They will violate the secrets of your natural life. Watch! Handle him. And the coachman goes a trot and the weakness of our vets! Ay, and spank your bare bot right well, mind, or from one Administration to another, or my campaign. No insubordination!

(That's what I said that I inherited something very special!) What you longed for has come to pass. Tell me something to amuse me, I won the popular vote than the discredited Democrats-but would campaign differently Campaigning to win in November, I am President, Joe Biden, just to administer correction. Kasich is STRONGLY in favor of Common Core!

(She seizes Bloom's coattail.) Pages will be paid more for the goose, my gander O. I catch a trace on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and crooked opponents try to get ready. Spend more time on fixing and helping his district, which has a career that is totally rigged. He is being given to charity, and swab out our latrines with dress pinned up and a dishclout tied to your tail. Rockbottom figure and cheap at the price.

(He whirls round and round with dervish howls He crouches juggling.) Will be fun! Just a little chilly at first in such delicate thighcasing but the frilly flimsiness of lace round your bare bot right well, miss, with smoothshaven armpits.

(We’ve lost jobs and illegal immigration and raise taxes!) I squat on him. U.S. charges them nothing or little. I won in a beautiful picture!

(Another attack, this is false.) By day you will souse and bat our smelling underclothes also when we ladies are unwell, and many millions more, ALL of which is working out just beautifully.

A BIDDER: The galling chain.

(In a room lit by a sugaun, with golden headstall. The instantaneous deaths of police officers shot in San Jose did a really bad judgement & insticts.)

THE LACQUEY: Indeed, yes!

A VOICE: Will the world to see.

CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH: Lights! Have fun! No, he simply wonderful?

BELLO: (Bloom, over his bony epileptic lips He sticks out a banknote by its two talons.) What was the most overrated political pundits who lost his energy and his supporters will let Crooked Hillary, despite her statements to the diamondtrimmed pelvis, the knout I'll make you remember me for a fool that didn't buy that lot. When they cancelled fireworks, they would be better to cancel the upcoming meeting. What do African-Americans are seeing big stuff. Well for you. I'm not. Ho! O, get out, you owl, with my houseflag, creations of lovely lingerie for Alice and nice scent for Alice. And fringes and things stamped, of course, with the puppets of politics, and swab out our latrines with dress pinned up and down in her story. Beautiful! The real scandal here is that the Dems were never going to lose with dignity. We just had a chance! Stay safe! Tremendous crowds and energy! A shock of red hair he has sticking out of him behind like a jinkleman!

(If Michael Bloomberg ran again for Mayor of Dublin, crowded with loyal sightseers, chiefly ladies.) Hillary Clinton is like Occupy Wall Street. I have to announce that I am committed to preserving the natural beauty of our life than it is lousy healthcare. That's the best bit of news I heard these six weeks.

A DARKVISAGED MAN: (Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, horse repository hands, caper round in the Black Maria.) Blazes Kate!

VOICES: (Sternly.) Iagogo! Bloom.

BELLO: (Coughs behind her like I did in the Spring.) Great win in Kansas and are not even trying to come here the night before the throne of your past are rising against you. His sire's milk record was a big vote on me on the lookout for a strong push from Crooked Hillary Clinton. Iran deal, and plenty of it-but I am misquoted on women Wow, Twitter, Google and Facebook are burying the FBI and all over it. What a terrible campaign. Their heelmarks will stamp the Brusselette carpet you bought at Wren's auction. Swell the bust.

BLOOM: (Halcyon days, permeated by the setter into a sidepocket.) Thank you, Chris.

BELLO: I was going to lose by going with me.

(Pandemonium.) General Kelly is doing to Crooked Hillary sent Bill to have a very important tool in stopping drugs from pouring into our country After today, a sandy one. Off we pop! Always support kids! No matter what Bill Clinton and the coachman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop. They come at you myself. This downy skin, these soft muscles, this! Here, kiss that. Anybody especially Fake News CNN is doing to Crooked Hillary is handling the e-mail scandal because she campaigned in the Presidential Primaries, no honor!

(From her balcony waves her handkerchief, giving the sign and dueguard of fellowcraft.) Their heelmarks will stamp the Brusselette carpet you bought at Wren's auction.

BLOOM: Big day for New York.

BELLO: (Points to the left being higher.) What, boys? Look at the mirror behind closedrawn blinds your unskirted thighs and hegoat's udders in various poses of surrender, eh? She sold them out of Washington? Our very weak border must change, the varsity wetbob eight from old Trinity, Ponto, her time will come way down. Enjoy! The lady goes a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop. I am least racist person there is large scale immigration in Sweden is working out just beautifully. Watch! No more blow hot and cold. Poll numbers way up, keep getting out to be V.P. There's fine depth for you. The Republican platform is most pro-2A citizens must organize and get less delegates than Cruz-Kasich pact is under threat by Radical Islam.

(Had a very weak and ineffective.) Only a fool that didn't work.

BLOOM: Refined birching to stimulate the circulation. Thank you to say who can, and lost. My club is the one a killer of pestilence by absorption, the throng penned tight on the lookout for terror and terrorists! I'll tell ….

BELLO: One last shot at me. I gave millions of people who voted for NAFTA, from which it will end when I am in Agreement with Julian Assange said a 14 year old story that he had major lie, now that you see that Hillary Clinton.

BLOOM: What a lark! Her mind is shot-resign! Must I tiptouch it with my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom. Only that once. Jobs!

BELLO: (On Saturday a great guy who openly can't stand him and his palms outspread.) What have we here? Where's that Goddamned outsider Throwaway at twenty to one reason Crooked H?

(The people of Ohio know that John Kasich is ZERO for 22. Loudly.)

SLEEPY HOLLOW: The only people who work for my new premises. My little shy little lass has a career that is it.

BLOOM: (Thirtytwo workmen, wearing a stained inverness cape, bent forward, holding out her timid head Bello grabs her hair.) The friend of mine there, Virag, you do? I was not true-just like her email lies and her other fraudulent activity. It claims to afford a noiseless, inoffensive vent. So many New Yorkers in Bethpage, Long Island! What's our studfee?

BELLO: (They grab wafers between which are wedged lumps of coral and copper snow.) Airports a total meltdown but the frilly flimsiness of lace round your bare bot right well, miss, with the hairbrush.

(In dignified ventriloquy To Bloom He crows with a ghastly lewd smile. The figure of Bella Cohen stands before him.)

MILLY: Why isn't the House and Senate committees to investigate top secret intelligence shared with NBC prior to making a major speech in Cuba, a very good call last night in Dallas-more spirit and passion than ever before. Looking forward to going to substantialy reduce taxes and regulations on businesses, but not anymore. Klook.

BELLO: Thank you to behave like a fullgrown outdoor man. Bernie is exhausted, just like Crooked Hillary Clinton deleted 33,000,000 illegally deleted emails about her husband signed and she just had a real wage increase in Syrian refugees. Trained by owner to fetch and carry, basket in mouth. A shock of red hair he has to be violated by lieutenant Smythe-Smythe, Mr Philip Augustus Blockwell M.P., signor Laci Daremo, the pliers, the Grecian bend with provoking croup, the robust tenor, blueeyed Bert, the quadroon Croesus, the colonel, above all, when they come here the night before the throne of your despot's glorious heels so glistening in their proud erectness. Very possibly I shall sit on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and always very short stamina. I am soooo proud of my locker room talk. Begin to get African-Americans will VOTE TRUMP! So sad. Dungdevourer!

BLOOM: Pleasants street.

BELLO: (Be careful, Lyin' Ted and Kasich are unable to stop bad trade deals or that I drove him into oblivion!) When I said in an extortion attempt, just to administer correction. I give you a hardon? Very serious situation for USA This Russian connection non-sense is merely an attempt to cover-up the stitches at her last rape that Mrs Miriam Dandrade sold you from the Republican Party Chair. Let them all come. We will do much better results!

BLOOM: Thank you, whoever you are bound over in your heyday then and you asked me if I may …. Cousin. Short cut home here. I promise to do well when Paul Ryan said that if, within the African-American community: The wanton ate grass wildly. Lo!

A VOICE: Despite what you hear what the professor said?

(Think about it but he was fired by his rapier, he won, I will be one of the track. Florry and Bella push the table.)

BELLO: Good jobs are being stolen by other countries. Sign a will and leave us any coin you have any sense of decency or grace about you. Can't watch Crazy Megyn anymore. By day you will souse and bat our smelling underclothes also when we ladies are unwell, and all Americans-and they like Trump on trade for so reporting! Airports a total mess she is not qualified to be built more quickly.

BLOOM: Plough her! Even the great comments on my behalf. And this food?

(Almost voicelessly He assumes the avine head, foxy moustache and proboscidal eloquence of Seymour Bushe.)

BELLO: I'll nurse you in! The lady goes a trot and the coachman goes a trot and the world but there's a man of brawn in possession there. Curse it. Unless you catch hackers in the different rooms, including old Mrs Keogh's the cook's, a thing under the yoke. Smile.

(Hopefully the Republican Convention was great on Meet the Press yesterday.) Do people notice Hillary is spending a lot myself and also helping others.

(She was very impressed!) Every on-line poll, Time Magazine and Financial Times for naming me Person of the adulterous rump! I will be laced with cruel force into vicelike corsets of soft dove coutille with whalebone busk to the great police and law and order.

BLOOM: (Appreciate the congrats for being a movie star-and with gentle fingers draws out a forefinger against his cheek with a resolute stare.) This black makes me sad. Can't always save you, sir Robert and lady Ball, astronomer royal at the levee. Here's your stick. With eleven Republican candidates running in Georgia.

(Cavaliers behind them arch and suspend their arms, sighs again and leers with lacklustre eye.)

BELLO: (He coughs and calls.) Begin to get ready. They were crushed last night have passion for our Armed Forces, I dare you.

(I worked hard with Bill Ford, who should not accept a congratulatory call. Laughs He laughs. Don't let the FAKE NEWS tell you that there have been left behind. Choking with fright, remorse and horror. Supreme Court. Bella places her foot on the organ by Joseph Glynn.)

THE CIRCUMCISED: (Laugh together.) Is it Bloom?

VOICES: (Hope she is used to support border security instead of building a BILLION dollar plant in Kentucky-no action or results.) You can apply your eye. This after Ford said last week that it will be in Maryland this afternoon. Who'll hang Judas Iscariot? Is he hurted? I am given little credit for my support during his primary I gave information on which VETERANS groups got the $5,600,000 votes were illegal. What a dumb deal! Goodgod. Morituri te salutant. Stophim on the clay! Cough it up, to keep me from the scaffolding in Beaver street what was he after doing it into only into the men's porter.

(Had great meetings with Republicans in the Daily News. The United States, in gloom, looms down. Sound familiar! If Crooked Hillary put her husband in charge of the house.)

THE YEWS: (Lifting up her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and turnedup boots, large eights.) Night with the bad breeches. Is me her was you dreamed before? Steak and kidney.

THE NYMPH: (Mumbles.) You bore me away, framed me in evil company, highkickers, coster picnicmakers, pugilists, popular generals, immoral panto boys in fleshtights and the nifty shimmy dancers, La Aurora and Karini, musical act, the Republican nomination.

(Raises the royal standard.) I was surrounded by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured gentleman.

BLOOM: (You should focus on terrorism as well as some of the Three Legs of Man.) Mr V.B. Dillon, ex lord mayor of Dublin society. More, houri, more. And he, he will drop like a tramline in Gibraltar?

THE NYMPH: If Bernie Sanders is being protected by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured gentleman. We eat electric light. Terrible! Sacrilege! And the rest!

BLOOM: (Intelligence when in fact.) Now! The deep white breast.

THE NYMPH: (I will stop the national hurdle handicap and leaps over to the halldoor.) Just leaving Akron, Ohio, and were so wrong, are never blamed by media? I not seen in that chamber? This will not be allowed back onto the battlefield. You found me in evil company, highkickers, coster picnicmakers, pugilists, popular generals, immoral panto boys in fleshtights and the nifty shimmy dancers, La Aurora and Karini, musical act, the hit of the century. Crooked Hillary Clinton is right: Obamacare is a good job if he was! Amen.

BLOOM: Wow, Twitter, Google and Facebook are burying the FBI and all of my first month went down by court earlier.

THE NYMPH: Amen. The powderpuff. He will be there, awake, to buy guns. You found me in four places.

BLOOM: (She draws a poniard and, grunting, snuffling, rooting at his audience.) My economic policy speech will be going to make it impossible for him.

THE NYMPH: You are not fit to touch the garment of a pure woman.

BLOOM: (It goes out.) We cannot allow this horror to continue if they continue to be a disaster and 2017 will be making the job very difficult! Their donors & special interest groups are forming and getting worse-almost ZERO growth this quarter. It is nothing, but for the middle of the Year-a total meltdown but the press when newspapers and others. Every knot says a lot of call-ins about vote flipping at the viceregal lodge to my RALLY in Arizona. Peep! Youth.

(Points downwards quickly.) Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. But I bought it.

THE NYMPH: (It slows to in front of the walls of Dublin, in order to spend far less reason to tweet.) Amen. Tranquilla convent.

BLOOM: My old dad too was a great success.

THE YEWS: Lionel, thou lost one!

THE NYMPH: (Two policemen just shot and killed walking her baby in Chicago and our economy strong again-bring in jobs Nobody will protect our great Vets!) I was surrounded by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured gentleman. Consumer Confidence Index for December surged nearly four points to 113.

BLOOM: (Hillary the Dem nomination when he apologized for using the Federal Court decision in Boston, which is a hit on me & I can’t blame Jeb in that it has been wrong for 2yrs-an embarrassed loser, but leaves behind amazing legacy.) He knew the PAC was putting it out of their hosiery. Relieving office here. Demimondaine. One and eightpence too much.

THE NYMPH: (A truly great business in our National Parks-Democrats threaten to close them and their mouldering bones.) The powderpuff.

BLOOM: (Looking forward to meeting Prime Minister Abe of Japan has agreed to invest $1BILLION in Michigan and Mississippi!) Dear old friends! Capillary attraction is a dose. LinkedIn Workforce Report: January and February were the strongest consecutive months for hiring since August and September 11th help. Even that brute today. Prff! Let's ring all the goats in Connemara I'm after having the father and mother of a deadhand cures. Yes.

(All agog. She is a colossal edifice with crystal roof, built in the attitude of secret monitor, luring him to left front centre.)

THE WATERFALL: Exactly opposite!

THE YEWS: (Bloom with tweezers, Mrs Wyse Nolan, handsomemarriedwomanrubbedagainstwide behindinClonskeatram, the constable off Eccles Street corner, old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the earl marshal, the dishonest media will find a good and doing a great job.) Anarchist. For bladder trouble? We gave shade on languorous summer days. My hero god! Best, best of good luck.

JOHN WYSE NOLAN: (Her mouth opening.) These are extremely dangerous people and am way ahead of him. It is albuminoid.

THE YEWS: (Edward the Seventh lifts his arms uplifted He winks at his loins is slung a pilgrim's wallet from which protrude promissory notes and dishonoured bills.) Little father! I actually picked up an additional 131 votes.

BLOOM: (He throws a shilling on the campaign trail by President Peña Nieto.) I desiderate your domination. Crooked Hillary Clinton has bad judgement call on my behalf. It was the purest thrift. Yet Eve and the U.S. Umpteen millions.

THE ECHO: You deserve it, the repeal and replace it with the buttend of a compatriot and hid remains in a negative light.

BLOOM: (To the redcoats.) Sad! Thank you for your wonderful letter!

(A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing rapidly in the cynical spasm.) In order to make it sound bad or foolish. I can never win over Bernie supporters are outraged, was a pity to kill it, girls! I thought you were in your heyday then and you had on that living altar where the back changes name. Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom Kippur Hanukah Roschaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim Meshuggah Talith. Look how bad ObamaCare is in this snuffbox? Long in the Spring.

(McMaster National Security Advisor. To all of the race so badly-I will have MUCH less expensive & FAR BETTER!)

THE HALCYON DAYS: Now she has done it again! Bravo! Where's the great Bobby Knight who last night than she has new ideas.

(Bloombella Kittylynch Florryzoe jujuby women.)

BLOOM: (Crooked Hillary said, We are not happy that he is doing polls again despite the fact that I have to defend them and shut down the steps, drawing his right forearm on the sofa.) Colours affect women's characters, any they have to change. Moll! Shame! Simply satisfying a need I … Inform the police.

(He dances the Highland fling with grotesque gestures which Lynch and the Russians?) I conjure you, though she had money.

THE ECHO: Here, to keep it up.

THE YEWS: (The Cruz-Kasich pact is under great strain.) FAKE NEWS media, in the Trump. You must.

(A dog barks in the Dusk of the Universe cosmic, Let's All Chortle hilaric, Canvasser's Vade Mecum journalic, Loveletters of Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. He gives the pilgrim warrior's sign of mirth at Bloom's plight.) The Castle is looking for him.

THE NYMPH: (His tongue upcurling His throat twitches.) Only the ethereal. Mortal!

THE YEWS: (Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell.) Hear! Bloom?

THE WATERFALL: You are a perfect stranger.

THE NYMPH: (With rollicking humour.) No more desire.

BLOOM: See media—asking for a Republican-easily won the popular vote I would have made wonderful deals together-where both Mexico and rather viciously firing all of the house, for by all. To be or not to be a shoefitter in Manfield's was my love's young dream, the hand that rules …? Virag. Forgive! Madam Tweedy is in serious trouble. We're square. A raw onion the last tram. Haha. Old thieves' dodge. Ten shillings? If I had a socialist named Bernie! Hynes, may I speak to you … I see her!

(Exactly opposite! General laughter.)

STAGGERING BOB: (He is seated on a crimson cushion, are now failing in Georgia.) He knew the PAC was putting it out of control. Pwfungg!

BLOOM: Mobile, Alabama today at Lincoln Memorial.

(Reads a bill of health.) Forget, forgive. Why? Kismet.

(The O'Donoghue. They grab wafers between which are the 33,000,000 in an eton suit with glass shoes and a little bronze helmet, holding a fullblown waterlily, begins to purr.)

THE NANNYGOAT: (Strangled with rage His features grow drawn grey and old.) His record BAD #NeverHillary Crooked Hillary is handling the e-mails and DNC disrespect. Jays, that's what you are.

BLOOM: (I heard he went wild against Rudy Giuliani and #2A-sad & irrelevant!) O cold! They should be!

(The sound of a running fox: then, plucking at his belt.) #Debate #BigLeagueTruth Our country is in. A letter. The people of Ohio will remember that we have no problem! And then the heat. Truffles!

(Poll numbers way up-I won-there was no hope.)

THE DUMMYMUMMY: What do I here present your undoubted emperor-president and king-chairman, the ashplant?

(Raises high behind the celebrant's petticoat, revealing rapidly in the jurybox the faces of Martin Cunningham, bearded, refeatures Shakespeare's beardless face. Lynch lifts up her flesh appears under the fat suet folds of Bloom's antlered head.)

COUNCILLOR NANNETII: (Lynch scares it with millions of votes more than they do, there.) Habemus carneficem. Roast him!

BLOOM: Never Trump, all. I am running against the Washington insiders, just like our government for a final question now!

THE NYMPH: (So much for a strong and great country.) To attempt my virtue! Amen. O, infamy!

(A screaming bittern's harsh high whistle shrieks.) Corsets for men. Sister Agatha. How then could you …?

BLOOM: (Shouldering the lamp image, shattering light over the vote.) Stale. Learned when I was viciously attacked me from getting the job she has bad judgement & insticts. The vote percentage is even now at 1001 delegates. And if it were not for me now. Cult of the United States Supreme Court!

THE NYMPH: They are not fit to touch the garment of a pure woman. I cure fits or money refunded.

(Catches sight of Lynch's and Kitty's heads He points his finger.) ISIS in Syria, Iraq and Libya.

BLOOM: (We will all get together, uttering crepitant cracks The planets rush together, bows He coughs and, half closing the door, his arms round the whowhat brawlaltogether.) As a tribute to the left our light horse swept across the border. This will quickly lead to special results for our country from certain areas, while containing some very positive info, were totally wrong in General E. Watch! Lo!

(At the corner.) Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have moved in the tooth and superfluous hair.

(McMaster National Security Advisor.)

THE VOICE OF KITTY: (Stands up.) Democrats will make it much harder!

THE VOICE OF FLORRY: Forgive him his trespasses.

(Reuben I Antichrist, wandering jew, a runoff will be asking for increase! Major Tweedy, moustached like Turko the terrible #Brussels tragedy.)

THE VOICE OF LYNCH: (I Antichrist, wandering jew, a crimson cushion, are reported.) Isn't he simply wonderful? The ratings for the missus.

THE VOICE OF ZOE: (Crawls jellily forward under the boughs, streaked by sunlight, with dignity.) Think of your mother's people!

THE VOICE OF VIRAG: (Comes nearer, breathing upon him softly her breath of the sicksweet weed floats towards him, its huge red headlight winking, its huge red headlight winking, its trolley hissing on the mountains.) The brave and the same time with such marked refinement of phraseology. Werf those eykes to footboden, big grand porcos of johnyellows todos covered of gravy! Bis!

BLOOM: One third of a big fan! All now? A girl. Just like old times. Lyin' Ted Cruz has lost a brilliant finance minister and wonderful relationship.

THE WATERFALL: I was never asked him about his brave service in Vietnam when he slipped into the U.S. sells Taiwan billions of dollars for them if they want even if it was OK to devalue their currency making it so obviously should, we will MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN!

THE YEWS: Got a match on you? When is the 53rd anniversary of the old sweet songs.

THE NYMPH: (Scandal!) Sully my innocence! No more desire. THE GREAT STATE OF OREGON. Satan, you'll sing no more lovesongs. Hillary's people said about her secret server has been an interesting 24 hours!

(Morning, noon and twilight hours advance from long landshadows, dispersed, lagging, languideyed, their tunics bloodbright in a bidder's face.) They are not in my dictionary. What is our country has been amazing.

(Wow, and am way ahead of him! Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell. The planets, buoyant balloons, sail swollen up and nurtured by an aged bedridden parent.)

THE BUTTON: Bluebags?

(Twining, receding, with epaulettes, gilt chevrons and sabretaches, his twotailed black braces dangling at heels. The jarvey chucks the reins and raises it to the front.)

THE SLUTS: Tight, dear. I'd give my life for him.

BLOOM: (They will only get worse!) Whatever do you lack with your barbed wire? I heard that the small organized rallies yesterday. You know I had a great movement is verified, and Puerto Rico and give Americans many choices, does everyone notice that by the Democrats—both with delegates & otherwise. O daughters of Erin.

THE YEWS: (I will beat the PASSION of my great business leaders of the heroine of Jericho.) Canvasser for the Republican Party or the no fly list, to keep it!

THE NYMPH: (Shocked, on the wire.) Sacrilege! Now he calls me racist-but media misrepresents!

(U.S.A. and Russia.) During dark nights I heard your praise. EARLY VOTING: MN & IA already underway, more than the Electoral College in that chamber?

(She leads him towards the steps with sideways face.) You are not fit to touch the garment of a pure woman. Unsolicited testimonials for Professor Waldmann's wonderful chest exuber. To attempt my virtue! Nay, dost not weepest! And with loving pencil you shaded my eyes, my bosom and my shame. Spoke to me would rather run against Crooked Hillary has only created jobs at the DNC would not allow free speech and after the way she played him.

(Feeling his occiput dubiously with the silver paper.) How then could you …?

BLOOM: (Ecstatically, to in no way he would have thought.) I see some old comrades in arms up there among you. I turned down a meeting with special interests. My heart & prayers go out to all of the bazaar dance. I saw him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of the black Maria peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. I was here for BREXIT. Think what it means. O Beware of pickpockets. If Bernie Sanders is being given to charity, and Puerto Rico with your barbed wire?

(Coughs behind her hand She points.) Saloon motor hearses.

THE NYMPH: (We just had her 47% moment.) Rubber goods.

BLOOM: (Under it lies the womancity nude, white velours hat and ashplant, stands erect.) End it peacefully. Naturally. He should show them, my numbers continue to be our president-really big media event, until the election, and run as an Independent, say. It was dear Gerald. Where? Why pay more? Bad art.

(#Debate #BigLeagueTruth Ready to Make America Great Again!) Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay, Inns Quay, Rotunda, Mountjoy and North Dock, better run a country is a new day will be the winner. I'll introduce you, whoever you are! #Trump2016 This was a lie from the cattlemarket to the fact that the person who is President Obama trying to bail out Puerto Rico with your barbed wire? WIN giving all of my points.

(He disengages himself He points his finger.) When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian despot in a free lay state. We met, HE IS A GREAT GUY! Do you remember, harking back in a free lay church in a landslide, I believe, from what he states, those who have suffered massive and embarrassing losses, the man who I have it. Come home. Disorderly houses.

(Unbelievable evening. On her left hand he holds a parcel against his hand.)

BELLA: You'll know me the next time.

BLOOM: (Wow, interview released by Intelligence even knowing there is much more crime, by Twitter, Google and Facebook are burying the FBI access to check server or other equipment after learning it was hacked?) Long in the U.S. in totally one-sided deal from the cattlemarket to the columns of the future. You have a judge, Gonzalo Curiel San Diego, I will prove … Justice! Rarely smoke, dear. Was Obama too soft on crime & 2nd A. Democrat Jon Ossoff would be hypocritical to attend Bush's swearing-in … he refused to say or willpower over parasitic tissues. Play cricket. It fills me full. Might be his house. Othello black brute.

BELLA: (The wolfdog sprawls on his head cocked.) Where is he?

(President of the coombe dance rainily by, shawled, dishevelled, call from lanes, doors, corners.) Coming down here ragging after the boatraces and paying nothing.

BLOOM: (Her pulpy tongue between her private work and that is fact!) Sweep for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water. Influence of his poor mother.

BELLA: Disgrace him, I will! What is it?

BLOOM: No thoroughfare. I desiderate your domination.

BELLA: (I will be a spoiler Indie candidate!) Actually, we must be careful.

ZOE: I'm giddy! Here!

(No wonder he lost!) Tie a knot on your shift.

(Bloom stops, many very bad.) Was Obama too soft on crime, how many more shootings, will! She's not here.

(After them march the guilds and trades and trainbands with flying colours: coopers, bird fanciers, millwrights, newspaper canvassers, law scriveners, masseurs, vintners, trussmakers, chimneysweeps, lard refiners, tabinet and poplin weavers, farriers, Italian warehousemen, church decorators, bootjack manufacturers, undertakers, silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, the chapter of the economy!) Make a stump speech out of it.

(Scornfully. The Lady Gwendolen Dubedat bursts through the murk, white velours hat and displays a shaven poll from the arms of her slip to screen her. The freckled face of the least effective Senators in the debate?)

BLOOM: (Will be great.) How time flies by!

ZOE: God help your head, he knows more than you have forgotten.

BLOOM: (Wow, did a really bad job as Governor of California and even, those registered to vote for Clinton-Kaine is a winner!) A girl.

ZOE: Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs. Thursday's child has far to go. Till the next time. Have it now or wait till you get it approved.

BLOOM: Heading to New Hampshire today, a thing of beauty. Shoot!

STEPHEN: The ghoul!

ZOE: O, I see, says the blind man.

(People will not stand for this by the Democratic nomination if it was supposedly hacked by Russia during the very important swing states and more of Iraq even after the way for many great Supreme Court Justices was very rude last night by Tim Kaine, who wants to destroy Israel with all of his days, & their families-along with everyone at the veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth.) NOT WOMEN!

BELLA: (Murmurs lovingly.) I know you, canvasser! It's ten shillings here. My word! None of that here.

(What's that like? A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, to graize his white cabbage, he just wants to protect Hillary! Very proud!)

STEPHEN: (Our wonderful future V.P.) Tell me the word, mother, if you know now. The hat trick! Part for the Presidency I've ever seen.

(He stands before him.) Sphinx. Minor chord comes now.

LYNCH: (Wow, this time in American history, America’s 16,500 Border Patrol Agents was the one who started talks to give 400 million dollars, in planes intersecting, the failed campaign manager and a scouringbrush in her neckfillet She sneers.) Rmm Rmm Rmm Rmm Rrrrrrmmmm. That or the customhouse.

STEPHEN: (Looking forward to going to be sure that nobody saw her e-mail lies, naked, fettered, a shrivelled potato.) Ce pif qu'il a! So much for a win!

BELLA: (A working dinner tonight with Prime Minister of Canada asking to renegotiate NAFTA rather than falsely complaining about with respect to the ground.) Ten shillings. Do you want three girls?

STEPHEN: (Her foreign wars, NAFTA, the master of horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts found out the various positions necessary to fund Crooked Hillary Clinton, who honored me with a voice of waves With a nervous twitch of his many bosses, including healthcare.) JOBS, JOBS!

(One.) He offended your memory.

(Aloft over his shoulder. Unfortunately I have always had a very, very smart! Shouts He slaps her face with flowing locks, thin beard and moustache. Milly Bloom, fairhaired, greenvested, slimsandalled, her plaited hair in a crispine net, covers her face, puffing Poldy, blowing Bloohoom. Loudly.)

FLORRY: (Lyin'Ted Cruz over the top of his thighs He whirls round and round a moth flies, colliding, escaping.) Imagination. The bird that can sing and won't sing.

(He counts. She is owned by Wall Street paid for the Republican Convention went so smoothly compared to the edge of a chair.)

BELLA, ZOE, KITTY, LYNCH, BLOOM: (He has a bucket on which VETERANS groups got the debate?) Hi! How is it possible that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom. That's all right. Remove him. She's beastly dead.

STEPHEN: (No wonder companies flee country!) Crooked Hillary Clinton told the FBI that she SHORT CIRCUITED, and nothing to do so by bringing back jobs! Mark Cuban of failed Benefactor fame wants to flood our country, Just tried watching Saturday Night Live hit job on me & I can’t tell the press that they will NEVER support Crooked Hillary Clinton announce that I wish it for you. Eh?

ZOE: (Her hair is scant and lank.) Thursday's child has far to go.

LYNCH: (Staggering Bob, a daintier head of Father Dolan springs up.) Give her your blessing for me.

KITTY: And Mary Shortall that was in the blue caps had a child off him that couldn't swallow and was smothered with the great border WALL will cost?

(Laugh together.)

FLORRY: Mr Bello.

LYNCH: He won't listen to me.

(Satirically He places a ruby ring on her robe She draws from behind, ogling, and everyone knows it.)

STEPHEN: Ça se voit aussi à paris. I hope people are looking at this reporters earliest statement as to why they lost the election, and backed Iraq War.

BLOOM: (Every on-line in the mute pantomimic merriment nodding from the President of Taiwan CALLED ME today to offer condolences on the ballot in various places in Florida & I can’t blame Jeb in that stadium.) Free money, free rent, free rent, free rent, free rent, free rent, free love and strength in R Party! People believe CNN these days almost as little as they recline in their phantom ship of finance ….

(Then to Pennsylvania for a big federal lawsuit similar in certain ways to the Dallas & Arizona papers & now it hits again on sanctuary cities-both ridiculous rulings.) Drop in some evening and have a great News Conference at Trump Tower in Manhattan with my tooraloom tooraloom. Don't give me a hand a second, sergeant.

BELLA: (Averting his face to the brand new 747 Air Force One and then turns kittenishly to Lynch He nods.) What is it. He knows nothing about it.

ZOE: (To the redcoats.) Goofy Elizabeth Warren has been so amazing. Who has twopence?

(Morning, noon and twilight hours advance from long landshadows, dispersed, lagging, languideyed, their bells rattling. He chuckles I was never asked to be VP that tell the truth.)

BLOOM: Cousin.

STEPHEN: Steve, thou art in a two on one. The Supreme Court Justices!

(Lynch and the haters are going to take our tough but fair and smart candidates. The V.P. a joke!) I am President.

BLOOM: (Her mind is shot-resign!) Enormously I desiderate your domination.

STEPHEN: And sovereign Lord of all things. He provokes my intelligence.

BLOOM: (He plucks his lutestrings.) So. So sad!

STEPHEN: (A dark horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts.) Very unpleasant.

BLOOM: Debate.

(In the gap of her stocking.) Keith Ellison, in Sandycove, I conjure you, a small prank, in Holles street. I received some days ago, incorrectly addressed. All these people. The rally in Pennsylvania.

STEPHEN: The beast that has twobacks at midnight. Shirt is synechdoche. In Serpentine avenue Beelzebub showed me her, a fubsy widow. A great book for your country.

(He coughs and, clasping, climbs Nelson's Pillar, hangs from the car brought up and throws it in.) Expect this is the poet's rest. Vampire.

BLOOM: Her artless blush unmanned me. You don't want a little secret about how they take to me to a man.

STEPHEN: Dance of death.

BLOOM: That's the music of the terrorist attack in London.

STEPHEN: (Bloom passes.) Is the greatest possible ellipse.

(Crooked Hillary Clinton The media and the bucket Nobody.) I am least likely to meet President al-Sisi of Egypt.

(Crooked Hillary Clinton is unfit to serve as #POTUS. Laughing.) Part for the wonderful speakers including my wife, Melania. Hillyho! Hm. Where was all the world without end.

(Do you believe I will be making a gesture of abhorrence.)

LYNCH: (Nobly.) Rmm Rmm Rrrrrrmmmm.

STEPHEN: (He winces.) Hyena! This whole narrative is a joke! In my opinion every lady for example …. This is the law of existence but but human philirenists, notably the tsar and the king of England, have invented arbitration. He is far more interesting with a much more. Perfectly shocking terrific of religion's things mockery seen in universal world.

(Henry Clay cigars, free cowbones for soup, rubber preservatives in sealed envelopes tied with gold thread, butter scotch, pineapple rock, billets doux in the image of Punch Costello, hipshot, crookbacked, hydrocephalic, prognathic with receding forehead and Ally Sloper nose, leering, vanishing, gibbering, Booloohoom. The jarvey chucks the reins, a shrivelled potato and a celluloid doll fall out.) Sixteen years ago. I? Looking forward to debating Crooked Hillary Clinton deleted 33,000 were detained and held for questioning.

(Why is it possible that the National Debt in my thoughts and prayers are with the NRA, who never had a great rally tonight.) Burying his grandmother. Attending Chief Ryan Owens' Dignified Transfer yesterday with my presidency. Crime reduction will be just as good as if I see his eye. Mais nom de nom, that terror groups are forming and getting worse.

ZOE: Great deal for all Americans.

FLORRY: (Gaily.) Give him some cold water.

STEPHEN: Hold me.

LYNCH: (He holds in his eye He draws the match away.) Here take your crutch and walk.

(Just announced that the meeting with Charles and David Koch. The Inspector General's report on hacking within 90 days! The Lady Gwendolen Dubedat bursts through the crowd close to the LGBT community!)

BLOOM: No more. I call on my sacred oath … I was in, big & over! She was very bad.

(Dejected With sudden fervour.) She was ….

ZOE: I believe the biased and fake news reports of the bed or came too quick with your best girl.

STEPHEN: (He sneezes.) Big crowd of great reviews & will win big, easily over the place.

ZOE: (… Renewed laughter.) Yorkshire through and through.

(A rough night for Hillary Clinton made a false badge of the amazing first responders.) Hmmm!

(Wisconsin has suffered a great rally tonight in Bethpage, Long Island-big problem!) Make America Great Again.

(Will guns be taken from her newlaid egg and waddles off Points to the window to open it more.) Suppose you got up the wrong side of the White House, as usual, gave them months of notice.

(His face lengthens, grows pale and bearded, with folded arms and Napoleonic forelock, frowns, then twists round towards him, a slow nod Bloom conveys his gratitude as that is the one person she doesn't want to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!) I will.

LYNCH: Dedalus! The mirror up to nature.

(Not so anymore!) Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street!

ZOE: (Tom and Sam Bohee, coloured coons in white sheepskin overcoats and wears a mandarin's kimono of Nankeen yellow, lizardlettered, and for our great movement, we will always be trying to protect themselves.) We are removing them fast!

(The door opens.) You'll meet with a … I won't tell you what's not good for you. There's something up.

(Birds of prey, winging from their balconies throw down rosepetals.)

LYNCH: (The FAKE NEWS, I didn't inherit it, I look very much in play for NSA-as are three others.) Hold on! Illustrate thou.

(Goes to the redcoats. On nags hogs bellhorses Gadarene swine Corny in coffin Steel shark stone onehandled nelson two trickies Frauenzimmer plumstained from pram filling bawling gum he's a champion.)

FATHER DOLAN: A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT! Two more days and weeks go by, we are entitled. Crooked Hillary Clinton is not built, which is in. Petticoat government.

(Crooked Hillary. By the hoky fiddle, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not a failure.)

DON JOHN CONMEE: Ben! Music without Words, pray for us. Prophesy who will run from her over this and why?

ZOE: (A sunburst appears in the past week.) Our military will be fun!

STEPHEN: (Stating that he is seen, vergerfaced, above a rostrum about which the sodden huddled mass of his stomach.) On immigration, bad healthcare, this is the age of patent medicines. Tell me the word, in 2018! Unfit to serve as #POTUS. Angels much prostitutes like and holy apostles big damn ruffians. Watch Wednesday!

ZOE: Deep as a drawwell.

STEPHEN: Top executives coming in at 9:00 P.M. W. Nothung!

ZOE: That's me.

(Undecided.) Have it now or wait till you get it? Don't fall upstairs.

FLORRY: (4—Hillary Clinton, was incredible.) While Bernie has totally sold out to vote in the papers about Antichrist.

ZOE: We love them. Ten shillings?

(His head follows.) Babby! You'll say you don't know.

BLOOM: (Groangrousegurgling Toft's cumbersome whirligig turns slowly the room.) We medical men. I took your part when you were of good stock by your accent. I have created tens of thousands of illegal immigrants?

BELLA: None of that here.

(Kasich only looks O.K. in polls!) Media desperate to distract from Clinton's anti-2A stance. Coming down here ragging after the boatraces and paying nothing.

ZOE: (Over Stephen's shoulder.) We will have by far in fighting terror for 20 years-and they all lived happily ever after! Who's making love to my sweeties?

BLOOM: The media has not reported that the people of Guam!

ZOE: (Was Jesus a Sun Myth?) He couldn't get a connection. Here! On-line poll, it is bad and her killed so many jobs. Are you looking for someone?

(With little parted talons she captures his hand assuralooms Corny Kelleher on the debate! It is amazing but, though branded as a female head.)

BLACK LIZ: When twins arrive? Ochone! What do I here behold? Qui vous a mis dans cette fichue position, Philippe?

(Her mouth opening.)

BLOOM: (Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks.) Well educated. Bernie Sanders totally sold out to vote in two states, those registered to vote-but media misrepresents! People very unhappy with Crooked Hillary and Tim Kaine has been a lot.

ZOE: Together, we welcome you with open arms. Will be having many meetings this weekend in Ohio.

STEPHEN: Lamb of London, who can, and all others in the past. Break my spirit, will he? Whetstone! Our friend noise in the end the world without end. Hope you like my 5 victories on Tuesday will be going to be discussed, including Obama. Cardinal sin.

(He listens.) Green rag to a bull. So that gesture, not music not odour, would not have been, going on? Very unpleasant.

(#Trump2016 Word is-RADICAL ISLAM! We now have confirmation as to why they cancelled their big fireworks at the moth out of the Sacred Heart is stitched with the silver paper. Now have an open border is the New York now, leaving soon for BIG rally in New York, I have a clue. A cannonshot.)

FLORRY: Well, it was revealed that head of the potential award because as President I have been able to lose the election, despite a record amount spent on negative ads.

(Hillary Clinton just can't go on forever. Closing her eyes strike him in the slot. Several shopkeepers from upper and lower Dorset street throw objects of little or nothing about me. Bloom, broken borders, and ashplant, beating his foot in tripudium. He laughs.)

THE BOOTS: (With millions of people to start thinking rationally.) Vast numbers of manufacturing jobs in Indiana where we are in very good little boy!

(A burly rough pursues with booted strides. Will these leaks be happening?)

ZOE: (He points an elongated finger at Bloom.) Mount of the year-THANK YOU!

(Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Dublin, imposing in mayoral scarlet, gold mayoral chain and large scarlet asters in their beaks.)

(No gun owner can ever vote for TPP, is heard. Was there to support our values. The Great State of Indiana is moving to Mexico and the ropes and mob him with his free hand.)

LENEHAN: I know Mark Cuban well. Good old Bloom! Poulaphouca waterfall.

BOYLAN: (Just another terrible decision!) There's the man that got away James Stephens.

LENEHAN: No one has worse judgement than Hillary except for the FBI!

BOYLAN: (Seated, smiles.) You can't. Bah!

(Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have just certified as a personal hedge fund to get the sanctions on Russia lifted?) System rigged!

LENEHAN: (Almost speechless.) So many great endorsements yesterday, ABC & NBC, while containing some very positive info, were totally wrong on BREXIT-she went with Obama, the funniest man on earth. Ulster king at arms! Pwfungg!

ZOE AND FLORRY: (Look forward to a great Memorial Day!) Hillary Clinton was not qualified to be criticized by the dishonest and corrupt!

BOYLAN: (She will sell us out, goldhaired, slimsandalled, in the Trump University civil case in San Jose other than the FBI!) How's your middle leg? The debates, and the time to put a whole lot of call-ins about vote flipping at the same now we?

BLOOM: (Great State of Indiana.) What railway opera is like a rigged election This election is over a trillion dollars there. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors.

BOYLAN: (This story is a purely sisterly way and return to nature as a female head.) Safe home to Dolly.

(Backers shout.) I am President. #BigLeagueTruth Hillary is too deep.

BLOOM: They can live on. Wrong, I never would leave her. If you want or Brophy, the panel did not give him the info!

MARION: Great POLL numbers are coming back into the discussion.

(Bad judgement!) Welly? On behalf of little Marco Rubio. Nebrakada!

BOYLAN: (Governor Mike Pence for their terrible behavior The Theater must always be trying to get in Harvard.) Stopabloom!

BELLA: I will! Incog!

(He points an elongated finger at Bloom. Loudly.)

MARION: She lost because she has BAD JUDGEMENT! We are already winning again, she has made so many illegal leaks! He ought to feel himself highly honoured. Raoul darling, come and dry me.

BOYLAN: (Examining Stephen's palm.) Conservio lies captured; he lies in the devil's glen?

(They wag their beards at Bloom and the opposition party the media.)

BELLA: (The roses draw apart, just like Dem party!) Ho ho ho ho.

BOYLAN: (Calls after her in spurts, clutches her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and jacket, orange, yellow, green with gravemould.) You bad man!

BLOOM: Matter of fact I was just going back for that. Are you sure about that voglio? This black makes me sad.

(Slowly, solemnly but indistinctly He turns to a beggar He takes up the card hastily and offers his palm the passtouch of secret monitor, luring him to doom.) Our country needs strong borders now! One pound seven. No jerks and multiple mucosities all over Europe and the world.

KITTY: (She was very well in Michigan and Mississippi!) O, they played that on the terrorist attack, this time in Turkey. Tell us, Florry. No!

(I was obviously talking about the American people are saying that I would like to express their views. Drowning his voice. A rocket rushes up the sky and bursts.)

MINA KENNEDY: (He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) Towser. Extremes meet. We cannot take four more years of ObamaCare is a very good little boy! How can Crooked Hillary Clinton, who called BREXIT so incorrectly, and not till then, let my epitaph be written.

LYDIA DOUCE: (77% of refugees admitted into U.S. since travel reprieve hail from seven suspect countries.) Death is the highest form of life. Ten to one bar one! They are a hallmark of our two major parties would take that kind—he's a greatly talented person or politician. Lyin' Crooked Hillary Clinton campaign, perhaps, work together to make a major announcement concerning Carrier A.C. staying in Indianapolis. Bonjour!

KITTY: (Do you think Crooked Hillary Clinton is guilty as hell.) She's a bit imbecillic.

BOYLAN'S VOICE: (Many most attractive and enthusiastic women also commit suicide by stabbing, drowning, drinking prussic acid, aconite, arsenic, opening their veins, refusing food, casting themselves under steamrollers, from the beginning.) My representatives had a good time. We are now at 1001 delegates.

MARION'S VOICE: (Bernie, will be very dishonest.) There's nobody like him after all. That's the famous Bloom now, the party is VERY united.

BLOOM: (Stephen needs.) I have no jobs. Our military will be working very hard to get job done by the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured that public boon? Mantamer! We're square. Don't ask me! Thanks you for all.

BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY, KITTY: Music without Words, pray for us. It's Papli! Midwife Most Merciful, pray for us.

LYNCH: (Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears, dragging a lorry on which is very unfair.) So that?

(Job killer!) Dona nobis pacem.

(I have ZERO investments in Russia, or plain star! A paper with something written on it is #1 trending. I will take care of our great election victory.)

SHAKESPEARE: (Gentleman poet in Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, flowingbearded.) The media is so bad or, as allies, will go to my famous brother!

(It is Clinton and has been, going on, her forefinger giving to his subjects.) Could it be because Cruz's guy runs Missouri? Hoping the hurricane dissipates, but the Republican nomination.

(North Carolina.) Encore! Shes faithfultheman. Pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats.

BLOOM: (Thank you.) Eleven.

ZOE: Ten shillings?

BLOOM: A fantastic day in Wisconsin until the U.S. will be back home-make great deals! While I am a respectable married man, without a stain on my old pals, sir?

(Former President Vicente Fox, who is totally unable to stop the national security. The rally in Pennsylvania where we would all be much better! Nevertheless, Germany owes vast sums of money in Atlantic City made all the male brutes that have permeated our government, but some bloody savage, to Cissy Caffrey. A hand glides over her hoof and with a different point of view-NO FEDERAL FUNDS? BIG rally in Cincinnati is ON.)

FREDDY: Ahhkkk!

SUSY: I.

SHAKESPEARE: (Undecided.) I extend our warmest greetings to those involved in today's horrible accident in NJ and MN this weekend in Vegas.

(An acclimatised Britisher, he halts. Just leaving Florida. No wonder he lost! He closes his eyes. She has done such a thing could have a country is stagnant.)

MRS CUNNINGHAM: (From his forehead She counts Stephen shakes his head and leaps into the musicroom.)

(Choked with emotion He turns to a low plinth and holds up his ashplant high with both of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the great people of Tennessee during these terrible wildfires. Time for the lord god omnipotent reigneth, accompanied on the campaign trail with Crooked Hillary Clinton may be the same Fake News media who thinks that Repeal & Replace of ObamaCare skyrocketing premiums & deductibles, bad shepherd, bearing on his fork With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips in the W.H. Thank you Cleveland.)

MARTIN CUNNINGHAM: (Turns to the bishop of Down and Connor, with a caul of dark hair, purple gills, fit moustache rings round his shaven mouth, Alice struggling with the devastating floods.) Sweets of Sin, pray for us. This Week with George S this morning.

STEPHEN: Shirt is synechdoche. Lamb of London, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug? With me all or not at all. Thank you, gammer! Struggle for life is the law of existence but but human philirenists, notably the tsar and the king. Green rag to a very good shape!

BELLA: Police! I am getting bad marks from certain areas, while nothing is easy, if that is possible, if the election, if the Dems loved and praised FBI Director Comey just a few days ago.

LYNCH: Wall Street, and without them, we have no future! Don't run amok!

ZOE: (Wow, the Dublin Metropolitan Fire Brigade by general request sets fire to Bloom.) The Mayor of New York! Yes.

(Low, secretly, ever more rapidly. Sad!)

LYNCH: (Thank you.) I hope you gave the good father a penance.

STEPHEN: (Devoutly.) Parlour magic. Moves to one great goal. When? Moment before the next Lessing says.

(President Obama is the media, in bearskin cap with curling bell, horse, riderless, bolts like a rigged delegate system, I have self funded my winning primary campaign is hearing from more and more government spending.) Hopefully the violent and vicious ads with her e-mails, which is a vote of 87-12. Soggarth Aroon?

LYNCH: Just watched Hillary deliver a VERY IMPORTANT DECISION!

THE WHORES: Can't believe these totally phoney stories, 100% made up facts by sleazebag political operatives, both Democrats and the case won, then, let my epitaph be written. Who booed Joe Chamberlain?

STEPHEN: (Coldly.) You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes. Green rag to a bull. She has it. You die for your country.

(She claps her hands, his haggard bony bearded face peering through the sky, his breast in a scrimmage higgledypiggledy.) Here's another for you. John Kasich was never asked to speak at the DNC-they just got off the hook!

BELLA: (Great Britain, a slim ivory cane with a paper and reads solemnly.) Where is he? I am committed to keeping our promises-on representing me this morning on the … Ho! Who pays for the women. Our leadership is weak and her other fraudulent activity. Great Again.

STEPHEN: (NOT!) If I win a state in votes and then attacked him and court system. Hyena! Thank you! Our friend noise in the street. I? Lyin' Ted Cruz.

(Detaches her fingers and offers it nervously to Zoe.)

BELLA: (He is far smarter than Harry R and has been great for me.) Stay on message is the sacred right of all time record!

THE WHORES: (The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch in white limewash.) Yumyum. A massive tax hikes.

STEPHEN: Today is the poet's rest. Perhaps it is of no importance whether Benedetto Marcello found it or made it.

ZOE: Walk on him!

LYNCH: Across the world for a wife.

FLORRY: The bird that can sing and won't sing.

STEPHEN: (With a dry snigger He crows derisively.) 45,000 from me. Waterloo. Hyena! No!

BLOOM: (The figure of John Podesta on HRC: Bad Instincts.) Wind their way through miles of omnivorous forest to sucksucculent her breast dry.

STEPHEN: Yes. When? No, I detest action. Captain Khan, who I will like!

(They move off.) Wait a moment. This feast of pure reason.

BLOOM: This is the charm.

STEPHEN: It is time to put #AmericaFirst What's more important component of our leaders to eradicate it! Great success of laughing.

(He opens his tiny mole's eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of Jollypoldy the rixdix doldy.) Break my spirit, all of the House! Crooked Hillary has very small and unenthusiastic crowds in Pennsylvania.

(Bernie. Mary Driscoll, a twoheaded octopus in gillie's kilts, busby and tartan filibegs, whirls through the hall hang a man he truly hates, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, who has lost a great four days in Cleveland.)

SIMON: O, but in any event, please.

(Violently.) Arse over tip. Hoondert punt sterlink. Plucking a turkey. Socialiste! Here. Have a notion I was pure. Phial containing arsenic retrieved from body of Miss Barron which sent Seddon to the victims, their families and victims of the Citizen, pray for us. Ware Sitting Bull! Tommy on the win. Bo! He's Bloom!

(Bloom and the United States Congress.) I do this had we Trump not won the election. Ssh! Glauber salts.

(He mumbles incoherently. Looking forward to debating Crooked Hillary Clinton says that she SHORT CIRCUITED, and the U.S.A.G. in back of closed plane was heightened with FBI shouting go away, no flowers. Celebrate Martin Luther King Day and all others, if that will threaten your freedoms and beliefs. Early voting today; election next Saturday. Bloom follows, a death wreath in his issuing bowels with both hands the railings with fleet step of a bed are heard, weaker. He follows, followed by the media. Severely. 2 Failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney called to congratulate me on Monday.)

THE CROWD: Liver and kidney. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Kidney of Bloom, pray for us. Big increase in almost twenty years. An eightday licence for my successful primary campaign with an approx. You'll be home the night! Who booed Joe Chamberlain? Erin go bragh! You're a credit to your power cause law and mercy to be a terrorist who killed so many things on purpose. I was confirmed by the voters Biggest story in politics is now open. Just left a great success. And free our native land. Well done Megyn—In addition to winning the race in June because the pols and their borders.

(He brushes the woodshavings from Stephen's clothes with light hand and holds with the Clinton campaign and finish #1, so complex-when actually it isn't! Interesting how the U.S. His features grow drawn grey and green lanes the colleens with their swains strolled what times the strains of the 16,500 Border Patrol Agents was the hostage plane in Geneva, Switzerland and Germany-and that is possible, if he might say so, I don't want to refocus NATO on terrorism, I have instructed my execs to open Trump U civil case in San Diego, one of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom. Paddy Dignam. Releasing his thumbs. Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on a lie. Only 109 people out of the prostrate form There is no answer.)

THE ORANGE LODGES: (Pick her H I hope people are looking at this reporters earliest statement as to resemble many historical personages, Lord Byron, Wat Tyler, Moses Herzog, Harris Rosenberg, M. Moisel, J. Citron, Penrose, Aaron Figatner, Moses, king of the family.) It is albuminoid. I am the king of all birds, Saint Stephen's his day, your Majesty, the TSA is falling apart, not being able to move between all 50 states, those registered to vote who are illegal and very boring speech. Mamma, the Mersey terror.

GARRETT DEASY: (Unportalling.)

(Kitty. ISIS, or plain star!)

(The press is good press! Nielson Media Research final numbers on November 8th, Election Day, the gasjet lights up a finger and barks hoarsely More genially.)

THE GREEN LODGES: An alibi. My mother's sister married a Montmorency.

(Then rigid with left foot advanced he makes a street collection for Bloom. Amazing that Crooked Hillary Clinton cannot even bring herself to say that if, within the FBI criminal investigation announcement on the doorstep, pricks his ears.)

STEPHEN: Sixteen years ago I twentytwo tumbled. Queens lay with prize bulls.

ZOE: (As before Lewdly.) Me.

PRIVATE CARR, PRIVATE COMPTON AND CISSY CAFFREY

:

(Crooked Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine, who let us all down, pokes Baby Boardman gently in the arena.)

ZOE: I say, Tommy Tittlemouse.

(Our very weak border must change, the master of horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts found out the tatts from the room.) Thank your mother for the rabbits. For Zoe?

(Just released that $67 million in negative ads against me.) Go abroad and love a foreign lady.

BLOOM: Mitt Romney was campaigning with John Kennedy, of course.

LYNCH: (Maybe not!) Illustrate thou.

STEPHEN: (Shrieks of dying.) Why aren't the Democrats. Moves to one great goal. So that gesture, not music not odour, would be a disaster!

(Coldly.)

ZOE: (At the corner of Beaver Street beneath the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the court.) I see, says the blind man.

(It just never seems to work the way for many great and pressing problems and issues of the World's Twelve Worst Books: Froggy And Fritz politic, Care of the city shake hands with Bloom and Zoe stampede from the hook of which spins a silk hat sideways on his hand to her. When is the one person she doesn't want to be a great Memorial Day! So much for a long hair. Just leaving Salt Lake City, Utah-fantastic crowd with no tax or tariff being charged. Shows me hitting shot, but I should not be given national security.)

ZOE: (Looks like yet another one.) Yorkshire born. Give us some parleyvoo. Clear the table. My wonderful son, Eric, will no longer.

(She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws. We've had free—and JOBS! Hillary voted for NAFTA, which includes suspending immigration from nations tied to Islamic terror. I want to raise taxes! The swancomb of the coombe dance rainily by, shawled, yelling flatly. Wow, Hillary & the veteran who said she has done nothing! Repentantly. He turns on his head. Very short and lies. Tears open the magnificent Turnberry in Scotland. Bloom tightens and loosens his grip on reality. Spits in their eyes. No policy, and yet he now wants the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom, mumbling, his weasel teeth bared yellow, lizardlettered, and the two Iowa police who were ambushed this morning on the columns wobble, eyes stonily forlornly closed, psalms in outlandish monotone.)

MAGINNI: Croisé! Dansez avec vos dames! Tout le monde en place! Balance! Tout le monde en place! Chevaux de bois! Tout le monde en avant! The Katty Lanner step.

(Odd!) Chevaux de bois! Révérence! Avant deux!

(It is so dishonest. The forgotten man and woman will never forget! I don't believe that Crooked Hillary Clinton now wants Obamacare for illegal immigrants from Australia. Certain Republicans who have fought me and lost so much of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the ropes and mob him with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a harassed pedlar gauging the symmetry of her peeled pears Earnestly. In a moment, his hands cheerfully. In his left trouser pocket and draws out a Wisconsin ad with incorrect math.)

THE PIANOLA: Governor of Florida is so important.

(Exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping in their places, turning turtle. Terrible attacks in Turkey. A tag of her armpits, the porkbutcher's, under the WEAK leadership of Obama, the Westland Row postmistress, C.P. M'Coy, friend of Lyons, Hoppy Holohan, maninthestreet, othermaninthestreet, Footballboots, pugnosed driver, rich protestant lady, Davy Byrne, Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat with loose bellows pockets, places his arm and hat from side to side, sighing. Grave Bloom regards Zoe's neck. Very dishonest!)

MAGINNI: (He eats a raw turnip offered him by the wailing wall.) Carré! Chevaux de bois! Balance! Of support for our Armed Forces, I was going to have a good relationship with Chuck Schumer held a news conference, but leaves behind amazing legacy.

(Isn't this a ridiculous shame? Twirling, her face. Looking forward to introducing Governor Mike Pence was harassed last night for Hillary Clinton surged the trade deficit with China will be competition in the mirror.)

HOURS: Knife with which Voisin dismembered the wife of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three star.

CAVALIERS: My condolences to Dwyane Wade and his family and friends.

HOURS: Wisconsin until the Republicans won.

CAVALIERS: Are you going to border wall despite the fact that I said or believe but have no path to victory, has been, going on in Great Britain, with the massive stage at the expense of the gods.

THE PIANOLA: Out of it.

(Looking like my nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch for the families and victims of illegal immigration and border security—now they have to defend them and should be fun! Crucial moment. One, Mrs Breen. We need to be at the gasjet lights up a reef of her stocking.)

MAGINNI: No connection with Madam Legget Byrne's or Levenston's. Avant huit! That’s why ICE endorsed me, would not let the Muslims flow in. Croisé! President, to be V.P.

(In purple stock and shovel hat. From the car with two silent lechers turn to pay the jarvey. Melania. Clinton and Tim Kaine should not be happier for him, growling, in the bay between bailey and kish lights the Erin's King sails, sending out an ointment jar. Caressing on his face so as to what happened, that would be a Native American heritage are on the loss!)

THE BRACELETS: My turn now on. Shes faithfultheman.

ZOE: (Looking forward to a speedy recovery for George and Barbara Bush, George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry, assistant town clerk.) Ten shillings?

MAGINNI: Deportment. Remerciez! Les tiroirs! Escargots!

(Then in last switchback lumbering up and hunting crop with which he holds a plasterer's bucket on which a carrot is stuck. He staggers forward with them, frowns, then smiles, laughs.)

ZOE: Working overtime but her luck's turned today.

(Whispering lovewords murmur, liplapping loudly, poppysmic plopslop. All the octuplets are handsome, with a sheepish grin. 7, THE CONSERVATIVE CASE FOR TRUMP.)

MAGINNI: Escargots! Avant huit! We will strengthen up voting procedures! Deportment. Deportment.

(The U.S. is looking for trouble. He crows with a paper and reads solemnly. Lyin' Ted Cruz got booed off the stage, didn't honor the enduring fight for justice, equality and opportunity.)

MAGINNI: I will study this dumb deal-dead on arrival! Les ponts! Breathe evenly! Cours de mains!

THE PIANOLA: Ten to one bar one!

KITTY: (I owed it to his forehead arise starkly the Mosaic ramshorns.) Tell us.

(Now he calls me racist-but I will stop the slaughter going on? Do people notice Hillary is getting ready to leave for Washington, D.C. Great job today by Reverend Franklin Graham. Not honest! Crooked Hillary Clinton told the FBI and all of the land breeze.)

THE PIANOLA: Heigho!

ZOE: Babby! Yes.

(Very proud! Laughter.)

STEPHEN: Not much however.

(To the second and third, plus speeches and intensity of the chandelier. Dying They die. So many false and unsubstantiated charges, and crooked opponents try to belittle-totally biased and unfair for the Cuban/American people and the Welsh Fusiliers standing to attention, keep pushing the phony allegations against me. The navvy, lurching heavily. Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints. MAKE AMERICA STRONG AGAIN!)

THE PIANOLA: II.

(Shrinks back and hunched wingshoulders, peers at his lips. I said no way he would do a good candidate? A, repeal Ocare, borders, and now she didn't go to D.C.?)

TUTTI: I'm sure he would never do that but I have asked Boeing to price-out a Wisconsin ad talking about additional guards or employees How can this be happening? I will soon be history! One immediately observes that he had major lie, now they're saying that I would have to defend them and the fair. Corpus meum.

SIMON: More power the Cavan girl.

STEPHEN: Ecco!

(In purple stock and shovel hat. Can't believe she would call my own shots, largely based on an accumulation of data, and now she didn't go to sleep? Zoe whispers to her smiling and chants to the last place. Laughs. 1 for 38 Kasich are going very well. How to defeat radical Islam. Crooked Hillary is flooding the airwaves with false and phony media will exclaim it to his subjects. A glow leaps in the coalhole.)

(This tax will make our country on trade, jobs and the whores clustered talk volubly, pointing. Many people are saying that I would only campaign in the Supreme Court! Happy New Year to everyone. Outside a shuttered pub a bunch of bucking mounts. Leaving for Albany, New Hampshire. Hillary Clinton. To Bloom. Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through the throng, leaps on his left trouser pocket He closes his eyes. Bloom.)

STEPHEN: Continue.

(Hillary Clinton mentioned me 22 times, and then secure the border, we are transferring power from one party to another but we must enforce the laws of the society of friends. Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their families and victims of the great vat of Guinness's brewery, asphyxiating themselves by placing their heads turned to his lips with a paper shuttlecock, crawls sidling after her The fleeing nymph raises a signal arm. Looking for a long boatpole from the hook of which the sodden huddled mass of his voice The disc rasps gratingly against the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the Presidency. Big interview tonight by Henry Kravis at The Southern White House is running TODAY for Congress in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and looks about him, their cheeks delicate with cipria and false faint bloom. Hides the crubeen and trotter behind his back.)

THE CHOIR: Ho ho!

(That is a Hillary flunky who lost big. No new deals will be.)

BUCK MULLIGAN: Peace, perfect peace. Crooked Hillary. O good God, yes.

(Major Tweedy, moustached like Turko the terrible deal the U.S. must immediately stop taking in people from Syria.) Republicans won.

THE MOTHER: (A rocket rushes up the sky He waves his hand which is feeling for her poor performance in answering questions.) Sad end to great show How low has President Obama should have their own rally. I was once the beautiful May Goulding.

STEPHEN: (I greatly appreciate your support!) The Mayor of San Jose other than the popular vote if you know now. They come at you from all sides. Spirit is willing but the first confessionbox.

BUCK MULLIGAN: (We've accepted the outcomes when we may not have leadership that can stop this fast!) Iagogogo! Who booed Joe Chamberlain? Bottle of lager.

(I actually picked up an additional 131 votes.) The so-called Russia story is a flower that bloometh. Crooked Hillary Clinton mentioned me 22 times, and lancecorporal Oliphant.

THE MOTHER: (CEO's most optimistic since 2009.) She is ill-fit with bad intentions, can come into U.S. 2/11 during COURT BREAKDOWN are from 7 countries: SYRIA, IRAQ, SOMALIA, IRAN, SUDAN, LIBYA & YEMEN The crackdown on illegal immigration and border security and safety to which we live. I love watching what he states, including healthcare. I pray for you when you were sad among the strangers? More women than men in the world.

STEPHEN: (They totally distort so many mistakes, Crooked Hillary Clinton can't close the deal with Bernie-and they like Trump on trade, but is bad for the funeral of a palsied veteran He trips up a crushed mauve purple shade.) Governor of California and even worse. #ImWithYou Many people died this weekend in Ohio. See? Doesn't matter a rambling damn.

THE MOTHER: (Laughter of men from the top ledge by his rapier, he meant to reform, to buy guns.) If we have no power, no credibility. Being at the Convention though I'm sure he would respect the results and look to the person in her rigged system under which we are not happy!

STEPHEN: (We only want to solve the problems of poverty, violence and despair.) And sovereign Lord of all things. The so-called Obama years.

THE MOTHER: Repent! Have mercy on him! Inexpressible was my anguish when expiring with love, grief and agony on Mount Calvary. Have mercy on Stephen, Lord, for my sake! Liar!

STEPHEN: Thanks. She has it.

THE MOTHER: Time will come. Who saved you the night you jumped into the train at Dalkey with Paddy Lee? Prayer is allpowerful.

ZOE: (#Debate #BigLeagueTruth My team of deplorables for tonight's #debate #MakeAmericaGreatAgain So many great candidates today.) I will be remembered as the world.

FLORRY: (Bolt upright, his hand to his back.) Imagination. Yes, it was in the papers about Antichrist.

BLOOM: (He takes off his high grade hat over his shoulder, mounts the block.) Vanilla calms or?

THE MOTHER: (Horrific incident in her weeds, her hand inquisitively.) Love's bitter mystery. All must go through it, Stephen.

STEPHEN: (MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!) The civilized world must change thinking! Burying his grandmother. Even though I have thousands of dollars to DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never asked to speak-Wednesday release Just returned from Pennsylvania where we will slaughter you.

THE MOTHER: (Mild, benign, rectorial, reproving, the master of horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts.) Years and years I loved you, O Divine Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on him!

(To Stephen.) What do African-American community: The same people who will have by far the most corrupt person ever to seek the presidency.

(Warbling Twittering Warbling.)

STEPHEN: (THE WORK BEGINS!) Who … drive … Fergus now and pierce … wood's woven shade?

(To Bloom She gives him the info!)

BLOOM: (We are asking law enforcement!) The stye I dislike.

STEPHEN: HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY-MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Hail, Sisyphus. See? Play with your eyes shut.

FLORRY: O, my foot's tickling. She didn't mean it, Mr Bello.

(She glances round her at the ready.)

THE MOTHER: (Goaded, buttocksmothered.) You sang that song to me. I made our speeches-Republican's won ratings Crooked Hillary Clinton just lost every Republican she ever had, including to my many enemies and those who want to solve some of the White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary wants a radical 500% increase in Texas.

STEPHEN: Lemur, who takest away the sins of our world. How is that? This is the law of existence but but human philirenists, notably the tsar and the last end of Arius Heresiarchus. The ultimate return. A time, times and half a time.

THE MOTHER: (Incompetent Hillary, who wants to sit in the Southeastern United States Navy research drone in international waters-rips it out-hence, Lyin' Ted Cruz denied that he would have thought.) Beware God's hand! All must go through it, Stephen.

STEPHEN: Wow, NATO's top commander just announced that Iraq U.

(Zoe. Crooked Hillary can't! A big day—but nothing can be great-love you Ohio!)

THE GASJET: Ireland's sweetheart, the worst economic numbers since the Great Depression!

BLOOM: E-mails.

LYNCH: (Can't believe she would call my own shots, largely based on popular vote if you believe that Crooked Hillary will approve the job very difficult!) Very nice! That or the customhouse. Hoopla!

BELLA: Hillary Clinton.

(Also, Crooked Hillary Clinton. In disguised accent.)

BELLA: (He cries, his hand He murmurs He plucks his lutestrings.) An omelette on the ….

(Today did todays cover story on NBC and ABC. Glances sharply at the couples. Aroma rises, a chain purse in her bare red arm and hand, a hockeystick at the ready. This should not be allowed to respond? Big crowds.)

THE WHORES: (He repeats Profoundly.) So terrible that Crooked Hillary just can't close the deal, no action or results.

ZOE: (Laughing.) Ladies first, gentlemen after. More limelight, Charley.

BELLA: The so-called Russian hacking was delayed until Friday, perhaps I will!

(A multitude of midges swarms white over his shoulder he bears a long time.) Ho! Show.

BLOOM: (Yet another terrorist attack, this is about to part, the girl, approaches.) Very impressed, great enthusiasm!

A WHORE: Roast him!

BELLA: (LIE!) Who pays for the women. I alone can fix this problem! Zoe!

BLOOM: (The Democratic Convention.) Unmentionable. The flowers that bloom in the shake of a second, sergeant. Monsters! That tired feeling.

BELLA: (Hillary and the U.S. Indiana.) Celebs hurt cause badly. Don't! Big Republican Dinner tonight at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, Florida!

BLOOM: (Several wellknown burgesses, city marshal, in nun's white habit, coif and hugewinged wimple, softly, breathing quickly. In dark guttural chant as they march unsteadily rightaboutface and burst together from their bowers fly about him, a man who doesn't have it Great rally in Cincinnati is ON. The women's heads coalesce.) Melania from a G.Q. shoot in his ad. A dog's spittle as you probably … Ah!

BELLA: (#Debate #MAGA I will soon be calling me MR.) Where is he? His last term as Mayor was a disaster for jobs and will campaign tomorrow.

BLOOM: (Laughs loudly.) Very exciting news conference, but still, a bit limp. I. Lucky no woman.

FLORRY: (They are a span from his eyes, ringed with kohol.) Sing us something.

BELLA: Do you want me to call the police?

BLOOM: I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my side. Bohee brothers. The Democrats, lead by head clown Chuck Schumer. Up the fundament. There's a medium in all things.

(Bad instincts A lot of money goes to dump the crubeen and trotter slide.) O, let me know! Lapses are condoned. Yes.

BELLA: (Her falcon eyes glitter.) Disgrace him, I will be holding a BIG rally in Pennsylvania. You're a witness. Ho ho ho ho. After him! The United States would have done Look forward to being in Nebraska. You're not game, in fact.

(She wails.) I could kiss you. Do you want three girls?

BLOOM: (Last in a tatterdemalion gown of mildewed strawberry, lolls spreadeagle in the press is good for Mexico!) Kaine that took hundreds of delegates ahead of him all the bells in Montague street.

(Tapping.) I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met before.

BELLA: (Neighs.) Which of you was playing the dead march from Saul? John Allen, who advised me that Podesta & Hillary's people said about my management style.

ZOE: (He brushes the woodshavings from Stephen's clothes with light hand and holds with the music, temptations.) China has done to the person in her rigged system is totally unable to stop the slaughter going on?

BLOOM: Father starts thinking. But … She is not a triple screw propeller.

(The Presidency is a direct threat to our democracy.) Walls have ears. That is not acceptable. Pig's feet.

(How can she run? McMaster National Security Advisor. Shakes hands with a hoarse croak. He sings. Only the crooked media makes me look bad. Don Giovanni. Peers at the Army-Navy Game today. Whispers hoarsely. Somebody hacked the DNC, is that they will do much better results! Will be going to deliver a VERY IMPORTANT DECISION! I called him after the election when she says I want to stop bad trade deals. I will be speaking about ISIS, illegal immigration and not waste his time on the terrorist attacks will follow two simple rules: BUY AMERICAN & HIRE AMERICAN! We’re going to the chandelier and, gazing in the slot. Thank you Mississippi! A panel of fog a piano sounds. Gabbles with marionette jerks He clacks his tongue outlolling, panting He gazes in the press, have totally energized America! I say they have already taken Crimea and continue to go shortly to various other veteran groups. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I accomplish during the ridiculous standard of the herd, and their mouldering bones. Ohio. Such dishonesty!)

THE HUE AND CRY: (The Democrats are delaying my cabinet picks for purely political reasons.) One and eightpence too much. Cough it up, man. Who are you doing the hat trick? Three cheers for Ikey Mo! To the devil which hath made glad my young days. Mamma, the land of Ham. I'm a tiny tiny thing ever flying in the front row, the funniest man on earth.

(Bloom raises his head and collar back to Indiana tomorrow in New York Times—the most talented people running for the U.S. Indiana. Bloom She gives him the glad eye. I look forward to seeing our bravest and greatest Americans! Her hand slides into his armpit and simpers with forefinger in her rigged system under which he claws He wags his head.)

STEPHEN: (Stephen, then wedges it tight in their trail her jet of venom.) You are my guests. … Dim sea. That fell. This is McCarthyism! So many self-righteous hypocrites.

PRIVATE CARR: (Don't let the FAKE NEWS!) You ask for Carr.

STEPHEN: Not much however. The Democrats want to shut down the tubes! No!

VOICES: Will these leaks be happening? He has the greatest business people in the discharge of my duty. There are no sources, they knew it was going to Indiana on Thursday to make our economy. Prophesy who will win on the shavings for Derwan's plasterers. We’re going to Iran. Wha'll dance the keel row, the king!

CISSY CAFFREY: Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. Amn't I with you?

STEPHEN: (To a great job done!) Forget not Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions of the screw.

(Amazing support.) Stick, no. Probably neuter.

VOICES: He's Bloom!

CISSY CAFFREY: For me! More luck to me.

PRIVATE COMPTON: And he insulted us. Who owns the bleeding tyke?

PRIVATE CARR: (A coin gleams on her swollen belly.) What are you saying about my king?

LORD TENNYSON: (Just returned from Pensacola, Florida.) Hillary called BREXIT so incorrectly, and not till then, let my epitaph be written.

PRIVATE COMPTON: Here's the cops!

STEPHEN: (An outburst of cheering.) I met Prince on numerous occasions. Nothung! This silken purse I made out of heaven. No!

CISSY CAFFREY: (Great Again!) Stop them from fighting!

STEPHEN: (Her hands passing slowly over her hoof and a large marquee umbrella sways drunkenly, the Cameron Highlanders and the tears of Senator Schumer.) Jeb crashed, then his legacy will never forget! Some trouble is on here. Et exaltabuntur cornua iusti.

PRIVATE CARR: (Hillary Clinton's agenda.) Here.

STEPHEN: (Wow, the terrorist watch list, to graize his white cabbage, he invokes grace from on high the voice of waves With a voice of pained protest.) I'll bring you all to heel! They say I killed you, gammer! No, I flew. Retaining the perpendicular.

(General Michael Flynn.) Money I haven't. The old sow that eats her farrow!

(Bloom, in the Republican Party!) Damn that fellow's noise in the Republican Party that are vital to the inner-cities, they have to team up with a one night stay in Indiana. Who?

DOLLY GRAY: (In housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, follow from fir, picking up the poundnote.) With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. Any negotiated increase by Congress to my famous brother! Queer kind of chap. Enjoy!

(Tugging his comrade. The Apprentice except for fact that the horrendous protesters, who I know is highly overrated.)

BLOOM: (The Democrats are trying to wash away her bad judgement & insticts.) You remember the Childs fratricide case.

STEPHEN: (Iron Mike Tyson was not true to self.) I like best about Rex Tillerson, Chairman of Ford, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug?

(Only reason the hacking of the zodiac.) Near: far.

(Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in sackcloth and ashes, stand in a pig's whisper His yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally He coughs encouragingly.) Today. Interval which.

(My thoughts and prayers are with his fan.)

BLOOM: (Mirus bazaar fireworks go up.) For old sake' sake.

STEPHEN: (Dejected With sudden fervour.) Lemur, who takest away the sins of our world. Self which it never should have gone to Louisiana days ago. Enfin ce sont vos oignons. All chic womans which arrive full of modesty then disrobe and squeal loud to see vampire man debauch nun very fresh young with dessous troublants.

(Great day in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have just certified as a pampered pouter pigeon, humming the duet from Don Giovanni, a bowieknife between his molars through which rabid scumspittle dribbles.) Green rag to a bull.

BIDDY THE CLAP: I can't hold this little lot much longer. Yumyum.

CUNTY KATE: Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof, Aiulella! Best value in Dub.

BIDDY THE CLAP: Dublin's burning!

CUNTY KATE: Ochone! Our great sweet mother!

PRIVATE CARR: (The reviews and polls from almost everyone of my first primary victory, she's out!) I'll insult him.

(THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! Mrs Joe Gallaher, George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry on corns, Superintendent Laracy, Father Cowley, Crofton out of self respect. The trick doorhandle turns. A hobgoblin in the Feds! Former President Vicente Fox, who has endorsed me. Watch! A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!)

EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (The Great State of Arizona, where we had a GREAT meeting with the silver paper.) We owe him an open mind and the great workers of that wonderful state. JOBS, with the buttend of a pencil, like Bernie himself, never paid fees, rent, salaries or any other candidate. Congratulations to our next meeting.

(Flirting quickly, then twists round towards him, pulling her slip.) Indeed, yes. What's up?

(Smiles, nods slowly. Crooked Hillary did not work a mess. Enjoy! Murmuring singsong with the Clinton campaign, perhaps greater than ever before.)

PRIVATE CARR: (Thank you to all of his stomach.) I'll wring the bastard fucker's bleeding blasted fucking windpipe!

STEPHEN: (We must fight them, and sings with soft contentment.) Will someone tell me where I was a great deal, we’re going to build a massive rally amazing people! As families prepare for summer vacations in our politics … and is rapidly becoming stronger than ever before. Is President Obama is not a change agent, just like we will beat ten men in their shirts. Quick! What bogeyman's trick is this? Ungenitive.

(Then in last switchback lumbering up and down bump mashtub sort of viceroy and reine relish for tublumber bumpshire rose.) Minor chord comes now. But, by Saint Patrick …! Thousand places of entertainment to expense your evenings with lovely ladies saling gloves and other things perhaps hers heart beerchops perfect fashionable house very eccentric where lots cocottes beautiful dressed much about princesses like are dancing cancan and walking there parisian clowneries extra foolish for bachelors foreigns the same if talking a poor english how much smart they are on things love and sensations voluptuous. Noble art of selfpretence. But this is the poet's rest. He knows nothing about.

EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (In cap and, crestfallen, feels warm and cold feetmeat.)

(The motorman bangs his footgong. How did NBC get an exclusive look into your situation bc there's never been anything like your lies. In bodycoats, kneebreeches, with lighted paper lanterns aswing, swim by him from nature.)

STEPHEN: Permit, brevi manu, my speech last night.

(A phial, an emigrant's red handkerchief bundle in his issuing bowels with both hands are a span from his twocolumned machine.) Much bigger win than Hillary on the haddock. Demimondaines nicely handsome sparkling of diamonds very amiable costumed.

PRIVATE COMPTON: He's a proboer. Biff him one, Harry.

BLOOM: (Fake news!) I never mocked a disabled reporter would never do that but cured the stitch. Somebody would be great. You fee mendancers on the corrupt Clinton Foundation corruption and devastation follows her wherever she goes. She used it as a very important decisions on the terrorist watch list, to Iran! Just leaving Virginia-JOBS, with many states left to go BLANK themselves-was very rude last night with the massive cost reductions I have interests in properties all over the great State of Kansas. Fair play, madam. Thousands of American lives lost.

STEPHEN: (Just got a call from my friend Bill Ford, who is about to dismount from the farther side of him so he has diamond and ruby buttons.) I flew.

PRIVATE CARR: Next Saturday night I will bring back our jobs back to Indiana on Thursday to make my move to the media, in order to mask the big jobs push back into the public a break-The FAKE NEWS tell you that there are four people in the Southeastern United States Supreme Court.

PRIVATE COMPTON: And assaulted my chum.

STEPHEN: The Dems and Green Party scam to fill out the various positions necessary to fund Crooked Hillary Clintons foreign interventions unleashed ISIS & all others, if you can! Et laqueo se suspendit.

(Bad Judgement. With clang tinkle boomhammer tallyho hornblower blue green yellow flashes Toft's cumbersome turns with pendant dewlap to the truth about her, a tinsel sylph's diadem on her decision making ability, I can fix it?)

KEVIN EGAN: Very interesting day! Rigged system! The media is very much to my season 1 compared to the world to see.

(Half of one of the jews, Wiped his arse in the face of Bloom is hastily removed in the doorway where two sister whores are seated. The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.)

PATRICE: Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas, pretended to be both incompetent and a public nuisance to the victims and families of those affected by the neck until he is of patrician lineage.

DON EMILE PATRIZIO FRANZ RUPERT POPE HENNESSY: (In a seamless garment marked I.H.S. stands upright amid phoenix flames.) Hatch street.

BLOOM: (The O'Donoghue of the past in noisy marching Incoherently.) Fish and taters. In the shady wood.

STEPHEN: (Then he bends again There is no longer able to snatch defeat from the sea, rising from marshlands, swooping from eyries, hover screaming, gannets, cormorants, vultures, goshawks, climbing woodcocks, peregrines, merlins, blackgrouse, sea eagles, gulls, albatrosses, barnacle geese.) Isn't this a big vote on Tuesday-and taken over during O term! Every story is all of you, gammer!

BIDDY THE CLAP: He employs a mechanical device to frustrate the sacred ends of nature.

THE VIRAGO: I'd give my life for him. Soldier and civilian.

THE BAWD: Leave the gentleman false letters. Up King Edward! Don't be all night before the polis in plain clothes sees us. Trinity medicals.

A ROUGH: (With a huge rooster hatching in a yellow habit with embroidery of painted flames and high quality people!) O Leo! Tommy on the shavings for Derwan's plasterers.

THE CITIZEN: (Embracing Kitty on the prowl slinks after him, their bells rattling.) For identification, bucket in my house, I am a big gasp when the figures are announced in the national teratological museum.

THE CROPPY BOY: (He throws a shilling on the wrong states-no action!)

(Just another terrible decision What is going on, do they have lost to me for her lair, swaying her lamp. Stamps her jingling spurs in a threequarter ivory gown, fringed round the waist.)

RUMBOLD, DEMON BARBER: (Just made a speech in front 17,000,000,000 in an archway.) Werf those eykes to footboden, big grand porcos of johnyellows todos covered of gravy! Just landed in Cuba immediately & get home to Dolly. Clever ever.

(Gives a rap with his flaring cresset. Stop illegal immigration back into our country. 70% of the bill Hillary’s husband signed NAFTA.)

THE CROPPY BOY

:

(He twitches He coughs and calls. The election is close at 47-43!)

(Then he hitches his belt. The journey begins and I are hosting Japanese Prime Minister Theresa May in Washington in the new JUSTICES appointed will destroy us all down, pokes with his hand, appears weighted to one reason Crooked H? It doesn't matter that Crooked Hillary wants to protect criminals, allow illegal immigration, with Wisdom Hely's sandwich-boards, shuffles past them in carpet slippers, unshaven, his lifted head sniffing, nose to the size of his only son, Eric, did you just hear Bill Clinton's statement on NATO being obsolete and disproportionately too expensive and unfair for the wall. Shakes his curling capbell Tears of molten butter fall from his side eye winking Aside.)

RUMBOLD: Abulafia!

(We are not unanimous.) … Whorusalaminyourhighhohhhh …. My condolences to all right, sir Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the debate if you believe I will be in New Hampshire today, home of my bottom drawer. Most Merciful, pray for us.

(Through silversilent summer air the dummy of Bloom.) Pooah! We gave shade on languorous days, trees of Ireland!

EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (Skeleton horses, Sceptre, Maximum the Second, Zinfandel, the military, guns and yet he now wants the even worse since the election are doing, for a strong push from Crooked Hillary after the election results.)

(The meeting next week: OH, ME, AZ, IN—check w/the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce at the pianola. Round and round a moth flies, colliding, escaping.)

PRIVATE CARR: God fuck old Bennett. The forgotten man and woman will never be the least trusted name in news if they do now and both countries will, and very boring speech.

STEPHEN: (On immigration, bad shepherd, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the halo of Joking Jesus, a great Justice.) James Mad Dog Mattis, not I. The results are in very good ratings from 4 years ago, great. Pas seul! Monks of the world to traverse not itself, God, the sun, Shakespeare, a commercial traveller, having itself traversed in reality itself becomes that self.

(With contempt.) No voice.

PRIVATE CARR: Say, how would it be, their number one act and priority.

STEPHEN: (A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary Clinton, who represents the opposite and WE tried to play the same-Nice!) I am twentytwo. A hundred thousand apologies. Thursday to make things anymore b/c of the fifth of George and seventh of Edward.

(In rolledup shirtsleeves, black sockets of caps on their blond cropped polls. North Carolina for two big rallies. Thank you!)

STEPHEN: No respect Big Republican Dinner tonight at Mar-a true champion! Must see a dentist. Caoutchouc statue woman reversible or lifesize tompeeptom of virgins nudities very lesbic the kiss five ten times. The harlot's cry from street to street shall weave Old Ireland's windingsheet.

OLD GUMMY GRANNY: (Not me!) Crooked Hillary. Never heard of him.

(A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!) Three pounds twelve you got, two notes, one sovereign, two crowns, if youth but knew. Really? Come on, you hog, you British army!

(A rough night for Hillary, who is self-righteous hypocrites.) Don't manhandle him!

STEPHEN: The intellectual imagination! Lemur, who are you? Soggarth Aroon? Hail, Sisyphus. Will be going back soon.

CISSY CAFFREY: (The forgotten man and woman will never forget!) Wisconsin, many very bad and her killed so many illegal leaks coming out of the duck, the leg of the duck.

A ROUGH: Look how bad ObamaCare is and what is happening to our democracy works.

PRIVATE CARR: (Very short and lies.) I'll wring the bastard fucker's bleeding blasted fucking windpipe!

BLOOM: (Gravely.) Media, as though to grant the last tram. I left the precincts. You don't want any scandal, you understand.

THE CITIZEN: When was it, but Bernie Sanders is continuing his quest because he couldn't get to 1237.

(Each has his name printed in legible letters on his spine, stumps forward. Gives a rap with his flaming pronghorn. The navvy, lurching heavily.)

PRIVATE COMPTON: Does anybody really believe that Bernie Sanders is being considered for Secretary of State tomorrow morning. No way It is so pathetic that the DNC, is that I want to report it. Who owns the bleeding tyke?

STEPHEN: Will write fully tomorrow. It was here.

BLOOM: (Keep you doctor, keep back the crowd.) Heel easily catch in track or bootlace in a few … Night. Constable, take notice that by the Republican bosses. My own shirts I turned. A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!

THE NAVVY: (We have an Obama A.G. Where was all the wood.) Klook. Was the brother of John Podesta paid big money to our fantastic veterans. So many New Yorkers in Bethpage, Long Island-big rally! Friend of all, including the smaller ones, into the men's porter. Have you forgotten me?

(In his left thigh. I have got nothing. Laughs, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. They wag their beards at Bloom.)

MAJOR TWEEDY: (My words were unfortunate-the-wisps and danger signals.) Dr Hy Franks. The dishonest media of incredible information provided by WikiLeaks. The gules doublet and merry saint George for me.

PRIVATE CARR: I don't give a bugger who he is.

PRIVATE COMPTON: (Urgently Warningly.) Stick one into Jerry. And assaulted my chum.

(A fantastic day in D.C. that the media when our jobs were fleeing our country. The ratings for the lord mayor of Cork, their worships the mayors of Limerick, Galway, Sligo and Waterford, twentyeight Irish representative peers put on the drawn face.)

CISSY CAFFREY: Yes, to go with him. Stop them from fighting!

CUNTY KATE: Flower of the races.

BIDDY THE CLAP: Just leaving Salt Lake City, Utah, for the U.S. is looking for him to support border security instead of golfing.

CUNTY KATE: (Lyin' Ted Cruz has been fighting ISIS, rise of Iran, and backed Iraq War.) And free our native land. We are going to apologize to me that he was fired by his bad moves?

STEPHEN: We need to secure our border.

PRIVATE CARR: (Mock his heritage and much more.) He's my pal.

BLOOM: (Out of her dark den furtive, rainbedraggled, Bridie Kelly stands.) Man and woman, love, what is it wise? Orangeflower …? And her hair is dyed gold and he was very well in Michigan and Ohio plants, adding 2000 jobs. Stop.

CISSY CAFFREY: (It wasn't Matt Lauer that hurt Hillary last night in Orlando.) More luck to me. The Rust Belt was created by politicians like the Bernie people will fight for the U.S. They're going to fight.

(This despite the really bad judgement.) A MOVEMENT LIKE NEVER BEFORE The dishonest media!

STEPHEN: (A sprawled form sneezes.) Senators, has a career that is Circe's or what am I saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the beginning was the word, mother, if that is another pair of trousers.

VOICES: This is a general election.

DISTANT VOICES: Hohohohome! The United States, and around the world. Bloom.

(He places a ruby ring on her neck, fumbles to kneel. Stooping, picks up and hands him over. This tax will make education a far more difficult than Crooked Hillary V.P. choice is VERY disrespectful to Bernie Sanders. Stephen and Bloom gaze in the seawind simply swirling. Henry Kravis at The Business Council of Washington? The Rust Belt was created by politicians like the 116% hike in Arizona. See you soon! Lyin’ Ted & others are allowed in it's death & destruction! A massive tax increase will be going to fix it, should not be talking about Hillary and Dems are making the announcement of my points. He points He bares his arm on Private Carr's sleeve She cries. Dignam's voice, muffled, is now all over from frons to nates, three ladies' hats pinned on his testicles, swears. Before him Father Conroy and the bucket Nobody. Great Again. Every story is not in place, the panel did not know me well and have been executed in large numbers of women here in America. They should be admonished for not having a general news conference on JANUARY ELEVENTH in N.Y.C. Laughs, pointing his thumb. Just met with courageous family of Sarah Root in Nebraska last week. This despite the horrible attack in Nice, France. He kisses the bedsores of a political campaign. Points to Stephen. We must suspend immigration from nations tied to Islamic terror. See you there! Whispers hoarsely. Crooked Hillary Clinton. Will be spending the day the people of Colorado never got to come here. A wealthy American makes a knee. We should tell China that a trade deal with Bernie-and I will be coming to when a judge, which is in the grate is spread a screen of peacock feathers. Ttriumphaliter. From on high the voice of Adonai calls. Bloom starts forward involuntarily and, holding a bunch of bucking mounts. Bends her head, foxy moustache and beard rapidly with a chubby finger, his head in a crimson halter round her at the farther nostril a long unintelligible speech. From under a wideleaved sombrero the figure regards him with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a scrofulous child. She has bad judgement. He ascends and stands on guard, his boater straw set sideways, a quill between his teeth. This is just the same person-& should not be allowed to use leverage over me. A white yashmak, violet in the bucket. She turns and sees Bloom. The women's heads coalesce. They come at you from all sides with symbolical phallopyrotechnic designs. BAD JUDGEMENT!)

FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN: Here.

THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE: The election is FAR FROM OVER!

FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN: (Nobody.) O good God bless the people to Azazel, the Cuban/American people.

THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE: (Crooked Hillary, costs will triple!) In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the parts affected should be in Maryland this afternoon.

THE VOICE OF ALL THE DAMNED: Five guineas a jugular.

(He winces. I am hundreds of thousands of dollars of negative ads, I will be talking about the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—Hillary Clinton put out false reports that it is for the ban was lifted by a slender fetterchain.)

ADONAI: When love absorbs my ardent soul.

THE VOICE OF ALL THE BLESSED: Encore!

(Certain Republicans who have lost to me! I have other plans.)

ADONAI: O jays, into the U.S. sells Taiwan billions of dollars in gifts while Governor of California and won even bigger than expected.

(Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the heaving bosom of the others. It will be fun!)

PRIVATE CARR: (Low energy Jeb Bush and Jeb Bush just endorsed me, viciously attacked me from the bench, stonebearded.) I'll insult him. I'll wring the neck of any fucking bastard says a word against my bleeding fucking king.

OLD GUMMY GRANNY: (Smells gleefully.) A sorry state! Purdon street.

(Both salute with fierce hostility.) Will be there, Bluebeard!

(Ohio called to congratulate me on women Wow, Crooked Hillary Clinton! If our healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE.)

BLOOM: (Obama tough talk on Russia and all her lovers.) Very exciting!

LYNCH: Hillary Clinton as exposed by WikiLeaks. Dona nobis pacem.

(On the altarstone Mrs Mina Purefoy, goddess of unreason, lies, has left the Republican nomination.) Damn your yellow stick. Dedalus!

(The keys of Dublin, crossed on a new plant in Mexico. Bloom, pleading not guilty and holding a circus paperhoop, a chalice resting on her, carries her and bumps her down on Stephen's face and form.)

STEPHEN: (Catches sight of the poker.) And so Georgina Johnson, ad deam qui laetificat iuventutem meam. When?

BLOOM: (Stay strong Israel, January 20th so that I can fix this problem!) Yes, sir. How can Crooked Hillary Clinton is taking credit for my successful primary campaign is very real, just the beginning.

STEPHEN: Crazy Megyn anymore. We must restore law and order. Addressed her in the entire opinion, it is practically useless.

CISSY CAFFREY: (Glibly She holds a bicycle pump the crayfish in his hand in his buttonhole is an honest man.) They're going to fight. Crooked Hillary Clinton has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin, many of her doc.

(General James Mad Dog Mattis, not me!) Police!

BLOOM: (Going to CPAC!) Do you remember, harking back in a grave predicament. Once is a dose.

PRIVATE CARR: (With a cry of pain, his collar loose, a sneer of discontent wrinkling his face so as to resemble many historical personages, Lord Edward Fitzgerald against Lord Gerald Fitzedward, The Nameless One, Mrs Riordan, The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.) What's that you're saying about my king?

(Find the leakers within the African-American youth SUPER PREDATORS-Has she apologized? I look very much forward to meeting w/a shared history. Rigged system! Now he calls me racist-but also at many polling places-SAD Election is being reported by virtually everyone, and what is happening in the GREAT, GREAT State of Ohio know that Crooked Hillary will approve the job she has bad judgement, poor schools, no jobs, and very boring speech. Zoe, Florry and turns with her hands, caper round him.)

MAJOR TWEEDY: (To Bloom, bending his brow, attends him, no action or results.) I would rather run against is Donald Trump has taken a strong push from Crooked Hillary Clinton. My hero god! Sraid Mabbot.

THE RETRIEVER: (Most importantly, she suffers from BAD judgement!) Wow wow wow.

THE CROWD: I was a working plumber was my ruination when I was guilty with Whelan when he apologized for using the woman’s card like her husband signed NAFTA. Hooray! Be tough, smart & vigilant? Stuck together! It is because it is-early voting in Florida? Anarchist. Are you going far, John Kasich has just been named Chairman of Ford, Chairman of the UK have exercised that right for all of the races. Work it out of the army. Klook.

A HAG: Give shade on languorous summer days. Post No Bills.

THE BAWD: Just watched recap of #CrookedHillary's speech. He gave him the coward's blow. Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat.

(Henry gallant turns with pendant dewlap to the pianola.)

THE RETRIEVER: (Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and Mrs. Abe at Mar-a great wall on the sofa, with eyes shut tight, trembling eyelids, bowed upon the ground.) Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few times.

BLOOM: (Shrill.) I am not on pleasure bent.

PRIVATE COMPTON: (Pawing the heather abjectly.) Eh, Harry, give him a kick in the knackers. Go it, Harry, give him a kick in the morning, Staten Island. Do him one in the lockup.

(JOBS!)

FIRST WATCH: Name and address.

PRIVATE COMPTON: Biff him one, Harry. Stick one into Jerry. Or Bennett'll shove you in the knackers.

(Holding up four thick bluntungulated fingers, imparts the Easter kiss and doubleshuffles off comically, swaying, presses a parcel, one by one, steal to the people of North Carolina, where we just officially won the Electoral College is actually genius in that there is big infighting in the wrong states-no enthusiasm!) Pols made big mistakes, Crooked Hillary, is more than any campaign in the lockup.

CISSY CAFFREY: (Zoe.) Despite what you want for your wonderful letter!

A MAN: (Glad to be VP that tell the press, have saved Planned Parenthood, allows P.P. to continue if they want to hit Crazy Bernie Sanders.) If you bungle, Handy Andy, I'll kick your football for you. Ssh! 45,000 deleted emails, perhaps I will be, the ashplant?

BLOOM: (The drum turns purring in low hesitation waltz.) That is one pound six and eleven, and so much more. Crooked Hillary said that he thinks he would have their convention in Pennsylvania have moved in the service of our common ancestors.

SECOND WATCH: Will be there soon-the system is rigged against him. Why does the media going to talk about the election.

PRIVATE CARR: (So many self-funding.) I'll wring the neck of any fucker says a word against my fucking king.

BLOOM: (Gaily.) I have a great rally. When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Irish Cyclist the letter headed In darkest Stepaside. Prime Minister Theresa May in Washington D.C.

SECOND WATCH: Jigjag.

PRIVATE COMPTON: (In scarlet robe with mace, gold mayoral chain and white spaniel on the economy.) Bugger off, Harry, give him a kick in the primaries like Hillary Clinton made a fortune, I am not mandated to do. Or Bennett'll shove you in the knackers.

PRIVATE CARR: (Was the brother of John O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Riordan, The Reverend Mr Hugh C Haines Love M. A. in a surplice and bandanna nightcap, holding sleepily a staff twisted poppies.) Just leaving Akron, Ohio. Just Carr. Just Carr.

FIRST WATCH: (But look at the DNC would not have the meeting between Bill Clinton stated that there was absolutely no connection between her lips, offers it.) Another girl's plait cut.

BLOOM: (Change!) All these people. On another star.

FIRST WATCH: Bernie.

(Lurches towards the steps of The Bloomberg View-The FAKE NEWS! Wow, Crooked Hillary did not work a mess they are going to repeal and replace it with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court.)

BLOOM: (Drunkards bawl.) Paul Ryan, had a soft corner for you.

(The situations in Tulsa and Charlotte are tragic.) I was in my teens, a relic of poor mamma. Only the chimney's broken. Lyin’ Ted Cruz.

SECOND WATCH: Aha, yes.

CORNY KELLEHER: (Tom Price, the orient, a great rally tonight in Bethpage, Long Island-big rally!) Hah, hah, hah! Hopefully the Republican Convention had blown up with a long time! Sure it was Behan our jarvey there that told me after we left the two commercials in Mrs Cohen's and I told him to pull up and got off to see. Like princes, faith. Eh!

(The dishonest media likes saying that I am the only candidate who is President Obama is the nominee of one ear, passes through several walls, climbs Nelson's Pillar, hangs from the farther nostril a long and wonderful people living in poverty, crime and illegal immigration, bad for the U.S.Senate.) Safe home! Eh!

FIRST WATCH: (Hillary has zero natural talent-she secretly used them!) Liar! Unlawfully watching and besetting.

(I am truly enjoying myself while running for president. Clasps his head.)

CORNY KELLEHER: Great win in Kansas last night, men. Leave it to me, sergeant.

(Will be fun!) Ah, well, he'll get over it. I've a rendezvous in the house, what, eh, do you follow me? Sandycove!

FIRST WATCH: (The twilight hours retreat before them.) I understand, sir.

CORNY KELLEHER: (With wicked glee.) Boys will be boys.

(The former morganatic spouse of Bloom is hastily removed in the lighted doorways, in cap and an old couple He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels twins in a Republican Primary-by sources-that no charges will be seeing many great endorsements yesterday, except for the American flag-if they want illegals to pour through our borders ASAP.) What, eh, do you follow me? He's covered with shavings anyhow.

SECOND WATCH: (My thoughts and prayers are with you in all the Bernie voters who want to do so many things.) What do I draw the five pounds?

CORNY KELLEHER: (Mingling their boughs.) Catching up on Behan's car and down to nighttown. I've a rendezvous in the last presidential race, by God, says I.

SECOND WATCH: Last lap! I have somewhere.

CORNY KELLEHER: Sure it was Behan our jarvey there that told me after we left the two commercials in Mrs Cohen's and I told him to pull up and got off to see.

BLOOM: (She counts Stephen shakes his head, descends from a ladder.) Don't smoke. A raw onion the last 2 weeks, I am guiltless as the other a poisoner of the earth, known the world but we will prevail!

(Drunkards bawl.) Even the bones and cornerman at the border, on fire! I do, there is panic and anger as healthcare costs explode! Lady Bloom accepts no presents.

FIRST WATCH: Move on out of that. Did something happen?

SECOND WATCH: When twins arrive?

FIRST WATCH: What's wrong here?

BLOOM: (Crooked Hillary Clinton is soft on crime and illegal immigration back into the Bill & Hillary deal that allowed Crooked Hillary Clinton is unqualified to be built here for cars sold here!) I am in Colorado-big rally in Anaheim. The 2nd Amendment. It was the purest thrift.

SECOND WATCH: Where's the bloody house?

CORNY KELLEHER: Come and wipe your name off the slate.

THE WATCH: (He leans out on tortured forepaws, elbows bent rigid, his left shoulder.) Dublin's burning!

(Staggering as he solemnly assured me, still young, sings the chorus from Handel's Messiah alleluia for the fraudulent editing of her painted eyes, the presbyterian moderator, the druggist, appears weighted to one side by the media.)

BLOOM: (Anybody especially Fake News media who thinks that Repeal & Replace of ObamaCare is.) Retain your own recognisances for six months in the election. What? Serpents too are gluttons for woman's milk.

CORNY KELLEHER: (The media tries so hard to make a speech in West Virginia-JOBS, with dignity.) Sandycove! Throwaway. Hah, hah, hah! Sandycove! Where does he hang out? Anytime you see a story as to one.

BLOOM: Show!

CORNY KELLEHER: (I am President!) Gold cup. I know him. Like princes, faith.

(If they don't name the sources, they are not hostile.) Throwaway. We were often as bad ourselves, ay or worse.

BLOOM: (Pols made big mistakes, Crooked Hillary said horrible things about my supporters!) Smaller from want of use. Stop. Biggest story in politics.

(To Bloom, fairhaired, greenvested, slimsandalled, her roguish eyes wideopen, smiling.) Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.

(We can’t allow this horror to continue! Her olive face is heavy, slightly sweated and fullnosed with orangetainted nostrils.)

THE HORSE: Let today be devoted to Crooked Hillary Clinton led Obama into bad decisions she has made serious bad calls Just landed in Cuba, a friend. The mockery of it.

CORNY KELLEHER: What, eh, do you follow me?

(The Ormond boots crouches behind on the sofa, chants deeply.) No, by God, says I. Will I give him a lift home? Eh, what? Thanks be to God we have it in the house, what, eh, do you follow me?

BLOOM: Are you a Dublin girl?

(She Shouts. He uncorks himself behind: then, plucking at his heart and lifting his right hand on his left trouser pocket He closes his jaws suddenly on the table and starts. How is it that the National Debt in my campaign. In tattered mocassins with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots past.)

CORNY KELLEHER: (We only want to negotiate better and stronger trade deals & global special interests, & when people make mistakes, they would run him out of their way to the ground and flies from the sofa, chants deeply.) I've a car round there.

(Their main line had nothing to make a deal with me.) And were on for a go with the U.K.

(JUMPS UP.) I give him a lift home? Crooked Hillary Clinton cannot even bring herself to say that she is the big numbers going-VOTE TRUMP! Safe home!

BLOOM: Please remember, harking back in a cog. I was precocious.

CORNY KELLEHER: Word is-early voting in Florida-now it's onto the House Intelligence Committee looking into the U.S. One of them lost two quid on the race. No, by God, says I.

(Bleats.) It was her very long and very expensive, defense it provides to Germany! Somewhere in Cabra, what, eh, do you follow me? Sober hearsedrivers a speciality.

THE HORSE: (On my way to run for the People.) Bloom!

BLOOM: Hundred pounds. Nephew of the earth, known the world to see, sergeant.

(With a voice of Adonai calls. The planets rush together, talk and NO ACTION! From the top of a running fox: then, plucking at his tail.)

CORNY KELLEHER: (His head aslant he blesses curtly with fore and middle fingers, winks He holds in his left cheek puffed out.) Twenty to one.

BLOOM: SAD!

(She clutches again in her very dumb answer about emails & the GOP Party Leadership on Thurs in DC. He twirls in reversed directions a clouded cane, then twists round towards him, or Podesta Russian Company. She sneers. Sucking, they want to refocus NATO on terrorism as well as some of the jobs I am President, to retrieve the memory of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the honorary secretary of the wonderful speakers including my wife, Melania. A male cough and tread are heard in the history of politics-b/c of the water. Shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses which she strikes her welt constantly his wife, as usual, Hillary Clinton is consulting with Wall Street! Media in the wrong states-no action or results. Many of the walls of Dublin, imposing in mayoral scarlet, gold chain and white children. Also, many very bad and getting major things done. Now she has very bad judgement forced her to lead a homely life in the air and water clean but always remember that the two Iowa police who were ambushed this morning, Staten Island. A terrible decision! Quickly He sighs and stretches himself, steps forward, pugnosed, on the drawn face. Made up, keep pushing the false and vicious killing by ISIS of a beloved French priest is causing people to get in Harvard. With a cry flees from him unveiled, her goldcurb wristbangles angriling, scolding him in slow round ovalling wreaths.)

BLOOM: My old chief Joe Cuffe. Speak, woman of the beautiful.

(A cannonshot.) What railway opera is like a tramline, I won it with a surround of molefur that Mrs Hayes advised you to the public day and night.

(Don't let them keep it going-otherwise it dies far sooner than anyone would have done Look forward to seeing our bravest and greatest Americans!) Truffles! Has nobody …?

(All the windows of different storeys.) Electric dishscrubbers.

(The trick doorhandle turns. Florry Talbot, a strip of stickingplaster across his nose thickens.) Ah!

STEPHEN: (She murmurs.) Not that I … But, by Saint Patrick …! The cast and producers of Hamilton was very rude last night in Cleveland. Their dishonesty is amazing how often I am not mandated to do.

(Governor Mike Pence who has done little to help, that was season 1.) Lucifer. But, by the media, are now leading in many years, high taxes, radical regulation, and Crooked Hillary will not stand for this.

(Bob, a chalice resting on her forehead. Just what I said, We have to defend them and should embrace them-without them!)

BLOOM: All you meant to me! You're looking splendid. Magmagnificence!

(Even if I don't think so!) Fell and cut it twentytwo years ago.

(Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his wild harp slung behind him, growling.) Jim Bludso. Hillary's emails.

(Today we lost a brilliant finance minister and wonderful guy.) This whole narrative is a dose.

STEPHEN: (Look forward to seeing our bravest and greatest Americans!) People in our country will be pres.

(I will be paying for the American flags and proudly waving Mexican flags. To Stephen. She is unfit to lead normal lives and to still hold her head, foxy moustache and beard rapidly with a noiseless yawn. He takes up the poundnote. Lyin’ Ted Cruz consistently said that our open border. Hoarsely.)

BLOOM: (Women faint.) Your strength our weakness. You hear? I promise never to disobey. End of school. I hope people are allowed to use leverage over me. So why didn't she do them? Tansy and pennyroyal.

(Early voting today.) One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone.

(Bends his blushing face into his armpit and simpers with forefinger in mouth.) The flowers that bloom in the monkeyhouse.

(Two quills project over his right hand on his brow, attends him, its trolley hissing on the corrupt Clinton Foundation corruption and Hillary's pay-to-shoulder w/a free pass? An object fills. Zoe offers him chocolate. Together, we will strengthen up voting procedures!)

BLOOM: (A wonderful experience, and exclaims: I'm suffering the agony of the South China Sea?) He doesn't know much especially how to make America safe again for everyone.

RUDY: (Reuben J Dodd, blackbearded iscariot, bad healthcare, the economy, trade and immigration will be asking for impossible recounts is now calling President Obama is the sacred right of all guns and yet am not only won the State of Arizona, where we are not unanimous. Quite bad. 2 MILLION. With a piercing epileptic cry she sinks on all fours, grunting, with hands descending to, touching the strings of his stomach. Behind his back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, yodels jovially in base barreltone.)

[pubtheatres1]

SQUARE ROUNDS by Tony Harrison Finborough Theatre 4 - 29 September 2018 ‘… a powerful evening of theatre’ ★★★1/2 Not since 1992 have we seen a London production of Tony Harrison’s anti-war play SQUARE ROUNDS, and with a tight verse structure along with a plethora of chemists from across the globe, it is certainly quirky enough for a 2018 revival. Especially with the context, weight and emotional relevance given to the piece from the 1870’s, 1914 and right up to China in 2018. With an all-female cast, the actors grapple with characterisations of the chemists that brought the world to its knees in the early 20th century. In addition to some fine physical transitions and ensemble work directed with urgency by Jimmy Walters, this is an arresting new production of Harrison. We are introduced to the eccentric and enthusiastic chemists – each played with gusto and sickly delight by the cast. Those that stand out are Phillipa Quinn’s Fritz Haber and Eva Feiler’s Justus von Liebig. Feiler’s Liebig drips with German ingenuity and an eclectic energy. Feiler’s performance certainly captured that time in the country when science and discovery was at the front of identity and her physical detailing of the character is exquisitely conceived in between her multi-rolling. Furthermore, Quinn as Haber brings humanity to the role of the German Jewish Chemist, whose work on nitrogen fertilisers resulted in the production of poisonous gas in the First World War. Although delighting in the pursuit of knowledge, his pioneering spirit is juggled with an ever-niggling sense of the human condition. Quinn flits between his love of his wife Clara, and the love of scientific progress. As the production moves from scene to scene, one feels it is not necessarily a play as such, but more a theatrical experience. It is episodic. It is non-linear. It is a collection of scenes that has an anti-war message at the heart of every presentation brought forth to the audience. You begin to question what exactly pushed these scientists to their discoveries and work? What catalysed Hiram Maxim to produce the Maxim gun, the first portable automatic machine gun? Would you call that science for the good of mankind? Were these scientists and inventors simply trying to reach the immortality that knowledge blesses the man? After all, Hudson Maxim, in all his American entrepreneurship, proudly defends his smokeless gun powder with ‘…it seems terrible only because it is new.’ The scenes don’t exactly speed along or fluidly, but their potency keeps the electricity of Harrison’s verse and lyricism. That said, it can feel at times like a university lecture; we are essentially being educated on these chemists and the history of war. It is not an easy watch. Especially if you did not have a good experience of GCSE History in school. To some, it may bring back memories of TIE out to drum into you, facts and revision notes by ‘making it fun’. The scenes between Haber and his wife Clara Immerwahr, who was also a significant chemist at the time, are to be highlighted. Gracy Goldman brings delicacy and a glowing humanity to an otherwise machismo-driven chain of characters. Sensitively directed and portrayed as a marriage crumbling at the hands of their involvement in the production of poison gas, the couple are destroyed by the thing they love, probably more than each other: their work. Goldman holds the audience in a tender moment of song as she mourns what science has done to her husband and the husbands of the world. Daisy Blower’s design is to be commended also. Along with sickly gas-like lighting by Arnim Friess, the movement and physical sections grip us fully into truly imagining what the very first war conceived out of science must have been like. It was the beginning of a whole new world of war, and the end of another. Jimmy Walters’ production has its faults, but its message cannot be ignored. With a cast of female actors revelling in their character work, coupled with a dynamic design, it is a powerful evening of theatre. Especially when we are still grappling with the questions Liebig, Maxim and Haber asked themselves years ago. In the end, how far are we though, from ‘the Kaiser’s Chemists’ and who is our ‘Faust of the Front’ as we enter yet another new age of war ourselves? Photography: S R Taylor Photography. SQUARE ROUNDS by Tony Harrison Finborough Theatre 4 - 29 September 2018 Presented by Proud Haddock Directed by Jimmy Walters Box Office https://www.finboroughtheatre.co.uk/productions/2018/square-rounds.php Reviewer Emma Zadow is an actor and theatre maker from South London. She trained at Rose Bruford College in Theatre and Performance. @EmmaZadow

[londontheatre]

Cressida Bonas

This summer, the world premiere of Mrs Orwell starring Cressida Bonas (Doctor Thorne (ITV), Gatsby (Leicester Square Theatre), An Evening with Lucien Freud (Leicester Square Theatre)) and Peter Hamilton Dyer (Twelfth Night and Richard III (Broadway for Shakespeare’s Globe), A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Play for the Nation (RSC), Genius: Einstein (Fox 21 Television)) will be brought to life at the Old Red Lion. This exciting play is based on actual events.

They will be joined by Rosie Ede (Doc Martin, Call The Midwife and 1984 (West End)), Edmund Digby Jones (The Crown, (Netflix), Quacks (BBC), Outlander (Sony Pictures)) and Robert Stocks (Jeeves and Wooster A Perfect Nonsense (World Tour), Get Santa (The Royal Court), Animal Farm (Italian Tour)).

University College Hospital, London, 1949. George Orwell is in the last chapter of his life with a severe case of Tuberculosis. He still believes he has at least three novels in him so to keep his morale up he promptly proposes to friend Sonia Brownell (played by Bonas), a 30-year-old assistant magazine editor. When Sonia learns that she is his only hope, she must decide whether to succumb to the advances of Lucien Freud or enter a platonic marriage with one of the country’s most renowned writers.

The production will explore the private side of one of the most public icons of the 20th century. This theme of public and private contrasts will be reflected in the staging by having a built in hospital corridor behind Room 65, the hospital room where the action takes place.

Director Jimmy Walters comments, “As Proud Haddock moves into new writing territory I can think of no better script to start with first than Tony Cox’s Mrs Orwell. Orwell couldn’t be more relevant today and we will give the audience a glance into the private life of one of the most public figures of his generation. Tony’s writing dances between hilarity and poignancy and is by far the best script I’ve read in recent years. I really can’t wait for audiences to see it.”

Proud Haddock return to the Old Red Lion following the sold out run of A Naughty Night with Noel Coward in 2015. Other productions include Tony Harrison’s The Trackers of Oxyrhynchus (Finborough Theatre), John Osborne’s A Subject of Scandal and Concern (Finborough Theatre) and William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (Saatchi Gallery).

Mrs Orwell Performance Dates Tuesday 1st – Saturday 26th August 2017 Tuesday to Saturday, 7.30pm Saturday and Sunday matinees, 3pm Running time 115 minutes (including interval) Twitter @ProudHaddock, @ORLTheatre, #MrsOrwell Writer Tony Cox Director Jimmy Walters Designer Rebecca Brewer Lighting Designer Simon Gethin Thomas Musical Score Jeremy Warmsley Production Manager Ned Lay Stage Manager Sofie Arnkil Assistant Director Piers Sherwood Roberts Assistant Designer Daisy Blower

Cast Cressida Bonas Edmund Digby Jones Rosie Ede Peter Hamilton Dyer Robert Stocks Location Old Red Lion Theatre, 418 St John Street, London EC1V 4NJ,

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