#Progressive Cycle Coaching

[qqueenofhades]

AAAAHHHHHHHH It's TIM! 1000% strong MN girl here and boy it's been real fun to watch Tim (and Peggy! Our amazing lieutenant governor) take a small small Democratic majority and do incredible things. My kid ate two meals at school every day for free. DELIGHTED that he's the VP pick. LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!!

Listen, I am just ECSTATIC. Ever since I seriously became tuned into the veepstakes, he was my number one pick (I mean, I was not immune to the brief flirtation everyone had with Beshear/Buttigieg/etc), but yes. Walz was my top pick and I was trying desperately not to get my heart too set on him in case it fell through, but he was the obvious best choice of the contenders by a country mile. He has an almost absurdly Midwestern pro-America background (military veteran, public school teacher, football coach from a small rural town, etc) AND he has managed to enact a long list of progressive policies in Minnesota with a very narrow majority in the state legislature. Also, you're going to be seeing a lot of this video, for good reason:

Also.... let's be real, Shapiro would have been an incredible distraction/drag on the ticket, unfortunately. We don't need to deal with his retrograde views on Gaza and his other baggage, and while he is a very popular governor in Pennsylvania, it's less certain that his appeal would translate to other states. We can argue (or you know, let's not and move on) about whether or not that was fair, but this is just not the year to try to win the most critical high-stakes election ever by pissing off young voters. Shapiro has done plenty of good things and has time to develop his career further, but he would have been a BAD pick for 2024 and I was alarmed at how many Respected Pundits (tm) were pulling for him. Reuters even claimed that picking him would "defang Republican attempts to make Israel-Gaza a wedge issue for Democrats," which is such a mind-bogglingly stupid statement that it makes you wonder how anyone writing it actually got paid for their political insight, but it also explains a lot about mainstream media these days. Picking Shapiro would have been an absolute gift to the Republicans and bad-faith actors and others (plus like, I don't want to have to spend time winning back the young voters who are actually once more engaged in the process!) and would have led to the media eagerly jumping into the feeding frenzy (because they're desperate to have a reason not to cover Trump's increasingly crazy-ass shit) and other Democratic-on-Democratic infighting. And it goes without saying that WE CANNOT AFFORD THAT.

As well, picking Shapiro just because you need to win PA this election cycle is yet another example of why the Electoral College sucks, and the polling averages in PA have been moving solidly blue anyway. You can just park Shapiro there and have him campaign in the state as the sitting popular governor, rather than expose him to the liability of a nationwide campaign where, as noted, all the other stuff would be a drag. If it's true that the establishment was pushing Harris to pick Shapiro and she picked Walz instead, a) GOOD! and b) if anything, this election cycle needs to fucking teach us that we have got to stop going with the Conventional Wisdom Tee Em. Walz was already out there, he was already popular with the public/energizing the grassroots, AND he was the guy who coined the "Weird" attack line that is actually effective and organically popular against the Republicans and drives them batshit. So for Kamala to lean into that and take him as her running mate is... zomgz... smart, and I am not used to the Democrats playing smart and aggressive and not just passive-defensive. I don't understand. Wow.

Anyway, now watch the New York Times (and the others, lbr, but especially the NYT) desperately try to dig up scandalous stories about that time Walz didn't stop at the 4H booth at the county fair, or walked past someone without saying "Ope just gonna sneak by ya first" or some other terrible Midwestern sin, but fuck those guys. I am EXCITED I am ENERGIZED I am THRILLED. This is a GREAT new ticket that came together at incredibly short notice and completely changed the dynamics everywhere, Walz is gonna make JD Vance cry (unsure whether I want to see Harris demolish Trumpster or Midwestern Dad to turn the cranks on Weird Couchfucking Fascist Skidmark more, but both, both, both is good). LET'S GO GET THOSE WEIRD MOTHERFUCKERS, Y'ALL!!

HARRIS/WALZ 2024!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jay Kuo at The Status Kuo:

There’s a strange phenomenon occurring with the terminally online right. Ever since Vice President Kamala Harris announced that Gov. Tim Walz would be her running mate, many of the right have acted with fury. They’ve attempted to “Swift Boat” his 24-year service record in the Army National Guard. They’ve called him a racist for talking about “white guy tacos.” And they’ve dredged up a nearly 30-year old DUI—for which he took accountability and after which he stopped drinking altogether—to prove he’s somehow not so perfect a role model.

What they haven’t been able to do is make any of this stick. And yet, Walz continues to draw fire, which could otherwise have been directed at Harris. In other words, Walz is turning out to be a shrewd pick. At net 11 points positive favorability in polls, Walz is immensely more popular than his counterpart on the GOP ticket, JD Vance, who is underwater by nine. And as they continue to rail against him, the right keeps making his fundamental point about them: They are just really weird. In today’s piece, I explore some theories about why Walz brings out the worst impulses of the right just by being who he is. Then I’ll lay down some political tarot cards and prognosticate about where I think this leads.

Politico Uno Reverse

By most identity measures, Walz should be one of the MAGA right. He’s a midwestern white dude in his late 50s. He loves to hunt and is a sharpshooter. He served for decades in the military and achieved the highest enlisted rank of Command Sergeant Major. He was a football coach who helped lead his team to the state championship. And yet, despite all these identity markings, Walz in an unabashed progressive. He is for reproductive rights and an ally and protector of gay teens. And there isn’t a bigoted bone in his body. It’s as if when Harris picked him, she played, as writer Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman succinctly described it, a “political uno reverse.” The Walz card threw it right back at them, as if to say, “I’m a guy just like you, but without any of the weird baggage.” The MAGA GOP’s base is supposed to include white guys like Walz. But here is living evidence that they don’t have all of them or the best of them. That’s why they’re so eager to discredit him, because if they don’t, as psychologist Julie Hotard notes, then Walz will stand instead as a model of what is possible. On many levels, an appealing, white, male Democrat is a far bigger threat to their sense of identity than even a biracial woman candidate for president.

[...]

Attacking Mr. Nice Guy

For the past two decades, the GOP has shifted markedly toward being a party of cruelty, of “owning” the libs and drinking their tears, and of being as unpleasant and in-your-face as they can be. That kind of behavior has been rewarded with appearances on Fox and other right wing media, fundraising dollars from the MAGA base, and a spot at the side or in the tweets of the ex-president himself. As author Patrick S. Tomlinson observed, Walz represents what shouldn’t be an extraordinary notion: that you can be a nice guy, supportive of women, embracing of gay people, and still be all the coded masculine ideals of soldier, football coach, hunter and father that the MAGA right believed it had a lock on. Plus, you can be all those things without ever asking weird questions about menstrual cycles, chromosomes and genitalia. The right even tried to make a big deal about Walz’s efforts as governor to ensure free tampons were available to girls in school. Rumors circulated that schools had been required to also put tampons in boys’ bathrooms, but those claims turned out to be untrue, while demonstrating how off kilter the right becomes over sexuality and gender. The “Tampon Tim” moniker didn’t stick. On the contrary, there are probably many moms and dads grateful for a governor like Walz who is thinking about their daughters’ needs.

Jay Kuo explains the real reason why the right is being driven crazy by Tim Walz: The fact that he has a profile that would typify a MAGA voter (football coach, military service, loves to hunt) yet is a progressive white dude (solid LGBTQ+ rights ally before it became fashionable among Democrats).

[writingquestionsanswered]

"Probably one of my biggest writing-related takeaways of 2023 was the brain science behind being overwhelmed by writing. So often, we put so much pressure on ourselves to meet goals, and get so frustrated with ourselves when we fail, that we end up making writing time something that fills us with anxiety. So our brains perceive that activity as a threat, which makes us want to avoid it."

I'd love to learn more about this cause it's my biggest problem when it comes to writing. The avoidance of the task, but it also manifests also as feeling overwhelmed by writing a long story/novel.

Some Brain Science Behind Avoidance

I encountered this idea of fear-based avoidance in a few workshops and summits over the past year, but I have to give a shout out to author/coach Monica Hay whose "Overcome Writer's Resistance Bootcamp" explained it the best. I can't find my notes so I'm going from memory here, but the gist of it was that our brains are hard-wired to avoid things that make us feel fearful or uneasy. This is an evolutionary throwback to when those instinctual feelings helped us steer clear from danger. As I remember Monica putting it, "Don't go that way, there are cheetahs there that will eat us."

So... how does this apply to avoidance of writing?

When we heap unreasonable goals and deadlines on ourselves, and berate ourselves for falling short of them, we inadvertently turn writing into a stressful activity. So, when we sit down to write, our brain picks up on that stress and says, "Don't go that way, cheetahs will eat us," and your gut instinct tells you to avoid this stressful activity at all cost. And then it becomes kind of a vicious cycle because you feel even worse because you're avoiding writing, and that makes you feel more overwhelmed and makes writing more stressful, and well... you can see the problem.

The solution? De-stress the writing process for yourself as much as you can. Start by de-stressing yourself when you sit down to write... take a relaxing walk first, do some yoga or a meditation exercise, or try some grounding techniques. See if you can do some things to make your writing environment more relaxing and inviting. Put on some soft lighting and relaxing music, use your favorite method to lightly scent the air, grab your favorite drink and snack. Then, just try to move the needle forward in any way you can.

My suggestions: try editing a sentence. Maybe see if you can add a paragraph or two. Don't think about deadlines or word count or what others are doing. Just focus on adding something to the page, even if it's changing a word or adding a sentence. Don't push yourself. Congratulate yourself on whatever progress you made. Ultimately, if you do this every day, the stress should start to melt away and writing becomes an activity that your brain no longer tells you to avoid.

Another suggestion: try to avoid setting arbitrary deadlines, or if you have to set a deadline, take a look at your schedule/calendar and be really honest about how much time you actually have to write. Because so often what happens is we say, "I want to finish this 80k word draft in eight weeks..." but the reality is we're not going to write all 56 of those days. In fact, when we take an honest look...

-3 days per week for days with both class and work = 32 days -5 days for a cruise next month = 27 days -1 day for bestie's birthday celebration = 26 days -Sundays because that's hiking day = 18 days Suddenly, that eight weeks is actually only 18 days... and that's not even taking account things that come up unexpectedly. But, let's say you do get to write all 18 days, and let's say you know you can commit three hours a day to writing but you'll probably take two ten-minute brakes... so 48 hours worth of writing. But here's the problem: you know on a good hour, you're probably only going to write 1200 words. And guess what: 1200 words per hour over 48 hours is only 57,600 words... far short of your 80k goal... and that's assuming you get to write all 18 days and hit 1200 words every hour you write. In other words... you've set yourself an impossible deadline, and when you fall short of it without understanding why, you're going to be disappointed in yourself. And that's why it's so, so important to be honest about the time you have and how much you can reasonably accomplish within that time. Also: just don't be hard on yourself. It will never make you write faster, more, or better.

I hope you can use this to overcome your own resistance to writing! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[ingek73]

Interview

Michael Moore on how Harris-Walz can defeat Trump: ‘Do weird and cringe until the debate, then nail him’

Edward Helmore

Progressive film-maker says he’s more optimistic than he’s ever been since Trump announced first run eight years ago

Thu 15 Aug 2024 11.00 BST

With Joe Biden looking for re-election Democrats feared they were looking at an electoral catastrophe. Now, with Biden dropping out and Vice-President Kamala Harris at the top of the ticket, it suddenly feels like it is Donald Trump who is staring at possible defeat.

The liberal film-maker and Democratic whisperer Michael Moore says he’s more optimistic than he has ever been since Trump stepped on to the escalator in Trump Tower to announce his first run for the presidency eight years ago.

“This isn’t just a sugar-high or what [recovering] heroin addicts call a pink cloud,” Moore says. “It was so depressing for so many weeks and then it was instantly not depressing. I am hopeful now but it’s ours to blow – and we have a history of blowing it.”

Moore, 70, has in recent years become something of an electoral sage. He predicted Donald Trump’s victory in 2016, in part because of the sense of political-cultural superiority Democrats emanated and because he had noticed that the campaign was fearful of inspiring Maga supporters. He predicted, too, that Democrats would buck the trend and be fine in the 2022 midterms.

In this election cycle he is in some ways in line with the pollster Nate Silver, who recently said that “the strategy of the Harris campaign should be to triangulate the strategy of Hillary 2016, the Harris 2020 primary campaign, and Biden 2024, and do the exact opposite.”

But Moore says he understands why Democrats are nervous that the Harris-Walz ticket could come apart, though it shows no current signs of doing so, particularly if Harris gets tarred with Biden’s unpopular “Bidenomics” or responsibility for his full-throated support of Israel’s war in Gaza.

“Biden, sadly, is going to be remembered for funding the war in Gaza and providing the armaments to Netanyahu, not arms for protecting Israel, but extra money to kill Palestinian civilians,” Moore says. He remains “saddened and surprised” that Biden, who had refused to meet Netanyahu last September, flew to Tel Aviv after the 7 October Hamas cross-border attack and hugged him.

“You can say what’s in a hug?” he says. “But ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Neville Chamberlain to you. It doesn’t take much for history to see that in the moment you needed to display courage you did the opposite.”

But he’s cautiously optimistic that Harris is signaling a change of direction. She did not pick as expected the Pennsylvania governor, Josh Shapiro, who had harshly called out student protesters against the war in Gaza and settled a former employee’s claim that she was sexually harassed by a senior aide.

Harris, he applauds, went against the conventional wisdom, upending the predictions of many TV pundits, and chose “this guy from the midwest, a football coach who had offered to be adviser to the gay student group. It’s pretty stunning.”

And while as vice-president Harris has no power to speak against Biden on Israel, Harris has made her feelings plain. She declined to sit in on Netanyahu’s address to Congress, which echoed Pope Urban II’s 1095 call for the first crusade, instead traveling to a Zeta Phi Beta sorority meeting in Indianapolis.

“Couldn’t they have made up something that sounded important with foreign policy attached to it? No, She’s busy at a sorority meeting … and she refused the traditional diplomatic “grip-and-grin” after meeting with Netanyahu. It was very public.”

The first days of the Harris-Walz ticket have shown precisely the change of direction that Moore has argued for. The ominous but complicated “threat to democracy” anti-Trump platform has been dropped for “threat to freedom”. Trump’s folk story confabulations resist fact-checking, so that’s been refined to a kind of medieval textual charm, “weird”.

Jibes over JD Vance’s “couch capers” and eyeliner discussions work in much the same way. What Harris-Walz are doing is much as Moore advocated when he offered the Clinton campaign “satirical support” to come up with lines that would get under Trump’s thin skin, especially in a televised debate.

“I think I’m going to see what I was hoping for for eight years,” he says. “Once anybody gets under that thin skin anything can happen. On live TV? Trump could explode, start talking like a 12-year-old, though no offense to 12-year-olds, or get up and leave.”

But didn’t Democrats bet on the Biden-Trump debate being a success? And the Trump prosecution in New York? The Republican candidate’s polling and fundraising went up after both.

“It’s a holding pattern until she gets on that stage with him. I understand why people are nervous it might be a sugar high but Harris and Walz are people of substance. They’re being slow and cautious enough to get it together. It’s just been a couple of weeks. They are going to have to tell us what they’re going to do and hopefully come up with the right thing. And there will be mistakes.”

As the Harris-Walz campaign “humanize” the ticket it is clear that the November election represents, on the Democratic side, a generational shift.

“I’m so happy to hear Gen Z and X are over half the vote because it’s called facts and data,” Moore says, pointing out that the number of boomers over 65 who have died since 2016 is exceeded by Gen Z and millennials who have become eligible to vote. “How many of them do you think are going around in hats saying Make America Great Again”? They’ve never known it to be “great”, let alone “again”.

“It’s not just a cultural shift – it’s a generational shift. The boomers may not be the No 1 voters in this election. And that’s why Gaza is so important. Young people hate war and they’re totally against Biden and his support of the war.” Harris, he says, needs to tap into “affordable housing, student debt, peace and the dying planet”.

His prescription? “Do weird and cringe until the debate and then nail him,” Moore said. “But nail him with irony, satire and a simple way to point out the beyond weird absolute idiocy and insanity of what these two men are talking about. Reach them on a commonsense level so it doesn’t matter if you’re Democrat or Republican.”

“Once anybody gets under that thin skin anything can happen. On live TV? Trump could explode, start talking like a 12-year-old, though no offense to 12-year-olds, or get up and leave.”

[mychlapci]

Rodimus giving birth painfully at the worst time possible and with no help whatsoever.

Its in the middle of battle and he’s in too much pain to move, his tank is painfully stiff and swollen and he’s in so much pain but his fluids haven’t even broken yet and there is so much pressure all he can do is vent heavy and huddle under the shelter hoping the wrong bot doesn’t find him.

Best part about it?

He wasn’t even in this battle.

He was on a civi huddle trying to get to safety because he left after finding out he was sparked.

Sires?

Deadlock and Ratchet who don’t even know.

He’s literally got the worst luck because bombs are falling and soldiers are offlining and bullets are flying in the space he’s in and crawling only did so much his tanks are too heavy on his frame and half his spoilers been blown off while the other half is leaking energon hanging by a thread.

This mech is in serious trouble because he feels his sparklings moving and its making everything worse and the siren for clearing the battlefield sounds and he knows he’s really fragged because that means they send out a large bomb and what do they do?

Drop the largest bomb that caves in his shelter and guess who just so happened to fall in protecting each other?

Deadlock and Ratchet who have no idea he’s behind them as they check each other over and talk quietly so relieved they survived as they mention it’ll take at least two days to remove the rubble so they can escape.

And guess whose frame wracks with pain as their sparkling readjusts and kicks them too hard and makes him fail at stifling an agonized scream thats muffled from him biting into his arm?

Deadlock and Ratchet have the most distressed, out of frame mind zapping shock of their life cycles seeing Rodimus like that.

Your thoughts/the rest?

Ooh poor Rodimus (Hot Rod?)... but he was lucky that a bickering Deadlock and Ratchet ended up in the rubble with him. For a moment they’re too busy fighting and pointing out whose fault it was that they ended up here and how long it’s gonna take them to get out thar they don’t notice that there’s someone still alive in the mess. Hot Rod squealing out as his forge clenches alerts them to his presence very quickly…

When they realize it’s Hot Rod, their shared… friend, they rush to him and no matter how hard he tries to hide his pregnant belly from them, his water finally breaking tips them off. I don’t think they realize they’re the sires at first, but when Ratchet scolds him for not coming to him when he got sparked and Hot Rod tells him he didn’t want to hang a sparkling on his shoulders it clicks.

Deadlock is more stunted. Ratchet knows what to do, but Deadlock does not. I think he only jumps to action once Ratchet orders him to help him get Hot Rod out of the rubble and onto a more comfortable surface. Hot Rod was very lucky to have been found by them. Ratchet can patch him up and help coach him through the birth. He can already see that Roddy’s been straining himself, forcing himself to push when he does not need to. Thankfully his water finally broke and it’s gonna be significantly easier from now… Hot Rod clings to Deadlock as Ratchet helps him coax out the sparkling, scolding him for not telling them, for keeping this to himself, for trying to move through an active war-zone when he knew he’s that far along. Because of all the stress and the fighting still going on outside, Hot Rod has a very hard time giving birth, but at least he can scream into Deadlock’s chest this time around <3

if it’s going to take at least a couple days to clear out the rubble they know they’re in hot water. Hot Rod’s sparkling comes out alive but barely holding on and they don’t have enough fuel for the four of them… Everyone has to pitch in to keep the little one fed, which slows down the progress. Hot Rod’s injuries and the fact that he’s only recently birthed a sparkling mean they have to drag him out and help him walk across the empty battlefield… Hopefully, they can reconnect with an autobot squadron soon, and as for Deadlock… he’s going to stay with his sparkling for as long as he can, for now.

[thejakeslayla]

╰▸ ❝ melting ice ❞ 002 ⎯⎯ salchow ,, a park sunghoon written series

synopsis; you put your everything into ice skating; blood, sweat and tears. unexpectedly you're being partnered with someone you despite, your number one rival - park sunghoon. together, you must overcome your grudges, navigate your differences and find a way to convey emotion on the ice. as you face this challenge, you discover hidden depths of him, leading you to question if there's more to your connection with sunghoon than just hatred and whether you can make this unlikely partnership work, potentially reshaping your career and the dynamics between them. little do you know that sunghoon never hated you.

warnings: reader gets injured, arguments, profanity

Days turned into weeks, and you and Sunghoon found yourselves locked in a relentless cycle of practice. Daily sessions became a routine, yet the tension between you and Sunghoon only seemed to intensify. You both worked diligently on perfecting the throw triple loop, with the coach drilling you on every detail. It was an intricate move that demanded trust and synchronization. At first, the attempts were awkward and full of stumbles and falls, but with time, your coordination improved. It wasn't the most harmonious partnership, but you were making progress.

Despite your initial concerns, Sunghoon turned out to be a dedicated partner, putting in as much effort as you did. His resolved determination surprised you. As much as you disliked him, his precision and your grace created a unique blend and even if you wouldn’t like to think of him like that, each time you just found yourself pretty amused.

One chilly evening, you found yourselves alone at the rink, the bright arena lights casting an eerie glow on the ice. Sunghoon's mom had left for a work-related trip, and your mom had a prior commitment. It was just the two of you and the echoes of your blades cutting through the ice.

Sunghoon stopped, panting heavily. You noticed the sweat glistening on his brow, the strands of hair clinging to his forehead. You already tried multiple times to synchronise your step sequence, but each time one of you messed up.

He met your gaze, and for the first time in weeks, you didn't see hostility in his eyes. Instead, you saw determination and, perhaps, a hint of vulnerability. "Y/n," he said, his voice softer than you'd ever heard it, "I know we don't get along, but we have to make this work. Our future depends on it."

You stopped in your tracks, the ice beneath your skates glistening with a thin layer of frost. His words hung in the air, and for a moment, you considered his words. But then, you shook your head, a hint of disagreement in your eyes. "I appreciate your concern, Sunghoon, but I've made it this far on my own. I don't need you to determine my future."

Sunghoon's expression shifted, a mix of frustration and determination. "This isn't just about you, Y/n. Stop being so fucking selfish. We have a real chance to get into olympics, if we can put our differences aside."

You were filled with anger. "Put our differences aside? You've got to be fucking kidding me, Park. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to even stand here next to you, let alone skate with you? I didn't ask for you to be my partner, and I’m fucking sure that I didn't ask for your pep talk. I've been working my entire life to get to this point, and I don't need you telling me what's at risk."

Sunghoon's voice suddenly rose, matching your frustration. "This isn't about forgetting, Y/n. It's about acknowledging that we're both skilled athletes, and if we channel that rivalry into our performance, we could be unstoppable."

Your jaw tightened. "Unstoppable? The only thing that's unstoppable is your ego."

With that biting remark, Sunghoon's anger peaked, and he abruptly turned away, storming off the rink. You were left seething, your own fury burning as hot as his.

After leaving the rink in a huff, Sunghoon couldn't shake off the frustration that had been building within him. He wandered aimlessly through the corridors of the training center, his mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions.

In the beginning, Sunghoon had viewed this partnership with you as an opportunity he couldn't pass up, but the reality of working with you had been far more challenging than he had ever imagined. The clash of your personalities and the weight of the long-standing (or should he say one-sided?) rivalry had tested his patience more than anything else in his skating career.

However, there was another layer to Sunghoon's frustration, one that he was unwilling to confront even in the depths of his own thoughts. He had watched you from afar for years, not only as a "rival" but as someone he greatly admired. Your grace on the ice, your dedication, and your unwavering commitment to the sport had drawn him in.

There had been moments when he had secretly hoped for the chance to work with you, to get to know you on a different level, and to prove himself not just as a “self-centred and cold as ice you skate on” athlete but as a partner. And now, with this unexpected opportunity, his longing to work with you had intertwined with the harsh reality of their situation.

As he approached the vending machines, he couldn't help but replay their argument in his mind. His frustration stemmed not only from the difficulties of the partnership but from the fear that he might lose this chance to get closer to someone he had admired for so long.

As Sunghoon retreated to cool off, you were on the rink, trying to focus on your skating, but the heated argument still echoed in your mind. Your determination got the best of you, and in a fit of frustration, you decided to attempt a triple axel – a move you hadn't mastered yet.

You executed the jump, the world spinning around you, but the landing was far from graceful. You hit the ice while still rotating, causing a harsh impact. Pain shot through your hip and ankle. You bit your lip, fighting back tears, but it was impossible to ignore the throbbing in your ankle.

Your heart pounded with pain and frustration, but you tried to push through it, determined not to give Sunghoon the satisfaction of seeing you vulnerable, as he might come back any second now. Gritting your teeth, you tried to stand, but the pain in your ankle was too much to bear.

And as if universe deeply hated you, he appeared.

Sunghoon entered the rink, the tension still hanging in the air. He immediately noticed that something was wrong, as you struggled to stand and make your way off the ice. He hurried over, concern replacing his anger, as he realized the seriousness of the situation.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Sunghoon asked, his voice echoing, genuine worry on his face.

You clenched your jaw, suppressing the pain in your ankle, and quickly replied, "I'm fine. I've had worse falls."

But Sunghoon wouldn't let it go. "Y/n, you don't look fine. Let me help you."

You hesitated, torn between the embarrassment of showing your vulnerability to your rival and the throbbing pain in your ankle. Sunghoon insisted, reaching out to support you, but you resisted. "I said I'm okay. I don't need your help."

Minute or two passed and Sunghoon had enough of your bullshit, he grabbed your wrist and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. You finally gave up, leaning on him as he helped you get off the ice.

Once you were seated on the bench, Sunghoon remained frozen, his concern barely concealed. When he helped you take off your skates, tears welled up in your eyes, escaping despite your best efforts to hold them back. Your pride was wounded, you embarrassed yourself in front of someone you hated the most, nothing went the way you wanted. And you just wanted to prove him wrong.

A minute of heavy silence stretched on, each second feeling like an eternity. Sunghoon's struggle to hide his worry was evident in his furrowed brow and his fidgety fingers. He was torn between wanting to help and not wanting to overstep the boundaries of your rivalry, or should he say your hatred towards him? His eyes darted between your teary gaze and your leg.

Finally, he couldn't contain the storm of emotions within him any longer, and his voice broke the heavy silence. "Should I call the coach?"

Your head moved slowly from side to side as you shook it, indicating your refusal. "No, Sunghoon. It will just worry him, and we won't be able to practice. I can't afford to miss practice right now."

Sunghoon was taken aback by your response. He knew the importance of practice, but the consequences of ignoring your injury weighed heavily on his mind. The argumentative tension that had simmered earlier now resurfaced, and the two of you found yourselves locked in a silent battle of wills.

The sudden change in his voice surprised you. His voice was firm and commanding as he responded, "Y/n, your health is more important than practice. You can't keep skating on a sprained ankle. Even though you don’t want to, we have to work together; we need to make the right decision here."

You were caught in a whirlwind of emotions, torn between your pride, the importance of practice, and the undeniable logic in Sunghoon's words. God, how much you hated him. It wasn’t even about the rivalry anymore, you just hated the fact that he’s right. The silence stretched on, and it seemed like a decision was hanging in the balance.

Finally, Sunghoon, directed by a small crush on you, broke the silence once more. His voice was softer, almost pleading, as he said, "Y/n, please. Let me help you. I promise it won't change anything between us, but it's the right thing to do."

Your gaze returned to him, as he continued to speak. “Y/n, what if…” His voice trembled slightly, clearly showing you signs of hesitation. “I take you to my home instead?"

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[moondrop-writes]

Can you write Jason x Daughter of Hecate? Both of them are on the Argo 2 btw. Jason is dating Piper but he starts to fall in love with the reader who already likes him? She also has a bestie who is a daughter of Hermes. Reader is a recrenation of Helen of Troy, who is put into an endless cycle of heartbreak but when she meets Jason the cycle gets broken. But she is really afraid of falling in love. Sorry if I am being to specific 😭😭

i mean...i can certainly try! sorry this took a while! i wanted to make it good but then i got caught up with other things. enjoy!

You rested your hand on the ship's railing, the wind blowing against your sweat-slicked skin as you looked across the vast ocean sea where it met the skyline in a burst of orange and pink hues.

The air tasted of salt and a slight tinge of iron from the battle just an hour prior. Water sloshed against the ship's edge, and you could hear Coach Hedge complain about a lack of ambrosia squares. You blinked, your brows furrowing, and you covered a slowly oozing cut on your palm from a vicious fight with harpies.

Sucking in a breath, your hands left the side of the desk, and latched onto the mirror attached to your belt next to your prized dagger.

You held it up to your face, catching your haggard look in the reflection. The mirror was a gift from your mother, Hecate, when you both discovered you'd been a reincarnation of one of Greek mythologies most beautiful mortals. You'd never really felt a connection to your past self, other than this deep unsettling feeling of being miserable in every relationship you've ever been in.

Taking in a deep breath, you whispered into the air, "Show me Alice Miyazawa."

The mirror bubbled, and suddenly you had a view of your best friend from camp.

Alice sat in bed, frowning as she tinkered with undoubtedly some kind of pranking device. "Alice?" you asked, your voice coming out filtered. You cringed when you heard yourself on the other side, but laughed when she snapped her head up, a guilty look on her face.

"Huh? What? Oh, shit, Y/N! It's been forever, what's up?"

You knew Alice couldn't see you, the mirrors magic didn't extend itself that far, but Alice always pretended like she could. If anybody else saw her, she'd probably look weird staring off into space, but she always managed to look directly at the direction of the mirror.

Ungracefully, Alice stuffed whatever the device she was tinkering with under her pillow. Giggling, you responded, "nothing much. Same old, same old. A lot of water, a lot of annoying monsters. We're headed towards the House of Hades though! It's progress, at least."

Alice tilted her head, a sympathetic smile on her lips. "Hey, you're getting somewhere, can't say the same for the rest of us. We've just been here like sitting ducks."

You sigh, "don't say that. You're protecting Camp, no matter how small of a task it may seem at the moment."

Alice hums, like she doesn't really believe you, and shrugs.

"Anyways, Connor just did the stupidest--" Alice begins, but she's cut off by a shout.

"Y/N!" the voice is deep and rich, and you know who it is immediately. You whip around, finding him at the base of the stairs, eyes bright with excitement. "C'mon!"

Jason.

Blinking, you stutter to get out words. What was going on? Was everybody alright?

Alice smirks, her grin entirely catlike. "Go get your man, girl."

Blushing furiously, you will away Alice's image, and tuck your mirror back into its slot at your belt.

You run over, and the two of you keep an even pace as you head below deck. "What's wrong?" you ask, pulling your hair back from your face.

He furrows his brow, "Did you forget?"

You shrug, "yes? I wouldn't have asked If I hadn't," you huffed, crossing your arms. You both stop short of the dining room.

He smiles, an easy thing that has your head feel light. Your heart beats, and you push it down and away from your mind. You have no right to go falling for stupid, handsome, Jason Grace.

"Movie night, Y/N. We needed a break, you know that well enough."

"Right," you said, nodding. Movie night. Just the thing you needed. Even though Percy and Annabeth were currently walking through Tartarus, we were watching movies. Makes total sense, right? No. You hated the idea. But you also understood. Breaks were a neccesary evil.

You both entered the room, and Piper's eyes draw to you. You notice she isn't looking at Jason but you. Her gaze is searching, and catches at your mirror at your hip before floating to the dagger she was twirling between her fingers.

It was the famous dagger of Helen of Troy. Rumors used to say that Helen used it to sneak Paris into the castle so they could escape off into the night outside of the her husband, and the guards vision. Now, it belonged to Piper, and she wasn't even sure how to yield it's magical properties. You felt bad for her because of it. Willing the magic in your mirror had been so easy for you, yet it took intense bouts of concentration for it to even give her a glimpse.

You frowned, and your hand hovered over your mirror before retreating back into your pocket. Maybe it was easier for you because your mother was the goddess of magic, or because as Helen that dagger had been your own. Either way, Piper had denied the offers you'd made to help her out. Was she scared you were going to try and take the dagger from her? You didn't know. But what you did know is that Piper was as stubborn as a mule.

It's kind of what you liked about her.

You wondered if that's what Jason liked about her too.

He smiled, though not as easy as the one he'd given you beforehand, and took his spot next to Piper. The projector flickered to life on the wall. Leo was at the side, tinkering with Annabeth's laptop in order to play the movie. When Jason noticed that you hadn't moved from the door, he patted the spot next to him on the floor, where a pile of blankets and pillows had been scattered about.

Slowly, you walked over and sat down. You were so clearly awkward, but Jason paid it no mind. With one arm around Piper, he nudged your shoulder and smiled.

You felt your vision blur, and you looked away with a huff as your cheeks tinged red.

Stupid Jason Grace with his stupid smile and stupid gorgeous eyes. You didn't need his crap anymore. You didn't need anybody's crap, no matter how pretty they were.

--

You looked over to Hazel, who was chewing on her lip nervously. Her eyes flit to you and shrugged. Beside her, Nico and Frank sat tense, just as awkward as you had been only a few hours ago.

Jason and Piper were fighting. Or well, what they called "talking". Thankfully, they'd traveled down the hall, Leo following hesitantly.

Now, the three of you were just waiting, listening to Piper's huffs and groans, Jason's rising temper, and Leo's quiet attempts at diffusing the situation as Hedge's TV blared from his room. All the sounds jumbled about, and you slid a little closer to Hazel.

"Internal fighting is the source of the issue," she whispered to you, and you tugged on one of her girls. It bounced right back into place. "I mean, it's the whole reason the war exists. The gods fighting with their own kin, and what not. Sometimes I wished people realized that."

You nodded your agreement. She was right. Discomfort within the group would just cause them to go backwards. Nico shifted beside her and looked at you. Out of all of the seven, you knew Nico the best. You'd met Annabeth and Percy first, but Nico had been the one you'd truly talked with and bonded to. He was the whole reason you'd even agreed to getting on the damn ship.

While Percy, Annabeth, and Grover were out saving the world and stuff, you and Nico had been bonding over your statuses. Him as the son of Hades, you as a myth reincarnation. Both of you made people uncomfortable for different reasons. They thought he was dangerous, they thought you were a sign from the gods.

It was annoying to no end.

"We aren't going to get to Percy and Annabeth if they keep doing this," he says, voice low and quiet. His eyes are narrowed, and beside him, Frank shivers.

"You have to let them diffuse it on their own though. There's nothing we can do other than be supportive," Frank points out, and when Nico cuts him a glance he shrinks back. You give him a smile, hoping it would ease his nerves.

Leo stepped back into the room, rubbing at his elbow, a gloomy Piper at his side.

"Jason's gone off to blow off some steam. He'll be back," Leo says, glancing over to Piper who silently retakes her seat. Without Jason between you, your arms are pressed up against one another.

The group falls back into silence, though now tense, and Leo un-pauses the movie. Soon the only sounds are the shifting of blankets and the movie's audio. You turn to Piper and lower your voice.

"Everything okay?"

She looks at you, her gaze a lot harsher than it'd been before. Then something dawns on her, and she shakes her head. She runs a hand through her hair, and nods. "Yeah, we're fine. Jason's fine. I'm fine. Thanks."

"Uh, okay," you say, and you look back to the screen.

It's like that for a little longer, until your mirror brushes her dagger.

You feel the effects before you seem them. A spark runs up your body, and both of you straighten. A bout of static electricity bounces between you and you barely get the chance to look at each other before your vision is being taken from you.

Piper's face is set hard in your vision, and her fists are balled up against Jason's chest. He's frowning, and electricity is dancing across his knuckles. Leo looks between to the two of them, hands raised.

"Admit it!" Piper screams, pushing Jason back against the wall. He groans when he makes contact and pulls her wrists from his chest. She yelps and yanks her hand back. Her fingers are twitching with energy from where his lightning-touched hands had zapped hers.

"What is there to say?" he growls out, advancing. Piper doesn't back down, and steps forward too. She isn't nearly as tall as him, but she's getting there, and her eyes meet his.

"You're pathetic, Jason. You need to step out of this stupid label you've put yourself in. You like her, admit it! I've accepted it so why can't you?"

Jason falters, and Leo coughs. "Uh, Pipes, maybe we should--"

She snaps at him, teeth pulled back in a snarl, "No Leo, we should have this conversation! I'm tired of being his pretty little security net because he's scared of his own feelings. She's perfect for you Jason, so go!"

"I don't want to lose her, Piper!"

Piper's eyes flash, and her skin seems to grow a bit more vibrant, and her hair a lot more luscious. Passion screams in all of her being.

You watch in third person as realization dawns in Leo and Jason's eyes.

The blessing of Aphrodite.

"You're going to lose her to war. She's going to die one day without you, married off to someone else because you were too much of a coward to say you love her. Admit it. You love her. It's clear as day."

Piper was passionate about this, and Aphrodite must've been too. The goddess of love was trying to help Piper get her point across in the only way she knew how. Beauty.

"When she's gone, don't come crawling back to me, Grace," she spits, and walks off. Leo stands there, eyes cautiously hovering over Jason. His hands clench around air.

"Jason--"

"I'll be back...I've got---I've got to get all this energy out," he holds up a fist covered in bright electric lightning to emphasize his point. Leo nods, and pivots on his foot to follow after Piper.

Your vision comes back, and you find Hazel standing by you, one hand on your back, the other brushing your hair from your sweaty forehead. You glance over to find Leo doing the same thing to a recovering Piper.

She'd seen it too. She'd felt it. She'd lived it.

Piper looks over and the message is clear as day.

"Don't say anything," her eyes scream.

You nod softly.

[spiritanimal88]

I need someone who can help coach me to lose weight! I'm new on this and I'm desperate I am forever in a binge / starve cycle and I just want to lose 8 kgs and keep it off! When I try stay in a deficit I will lose 3 kgs and then when I see the progress I "REWARD" MYSELF WITH MORE FCKING FOOD!!!!!!! I seriously need help on how to reduce hunger - reduce cravings - how to be I a proper deficit please I want ribs, I want hip bones !!!! #proana #thinsporation #skinny #helpmegetthin

[ewrthings-race-repair-repeat]

The Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis Private Collection is a limited edition (25 world wide) that has been inspired by the seldom-seen wonder of a solar eclipse (the awe-inspiring moment when the Moon completely obscures the Sun).  

EXTERIOR: GOLDEN DARKNESS The mysterious, ethereal light cast by a total solar eclipse is captured in the Lyrical Copper exterior colour of the motor car. This stunning Bespoke finish incorporates powdered copper pigment, which appears darker until it catches the light when it produces a rich and dramatic iridescence. Mandarin adorns the inserts below the Pantheon Grille and brake callipers, recalling the intense pulses of sunlight witnessed as the eclipse progresses. The same Mandarin hue is used for the hand-painted coachline, which includes a delicate abstract representation of the transition from sunlight to darkness as the Moon approaches to cover the Sun.

ANIMATED STARLIGHT HEADLINER The Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis features a fully Bespoke Starlight Headliner with a special animation that, like the eclipse that inspires it, gives those inside a true sense of awe and wonder. As the coach doors close and the engine is started, the ‘stars’ in the Starlight Headliner darken and a mesmerising sequence begins, replicating the totality of the solar eclipse, when the dark silhouette of the Moon completely obscures the bright light of the Sun. A circle of 940 ‘stars’ is formed, representing the bright corona of light around the lunar silhouette. This is surrounded by a further 192 illuminating ‘stars’, recreating the otherworldly spectacle of stars visible in the sky during daylight, which occurs only during a total solar eclipse.

The animation remains visible for precisely seven minutes and 31 seconds – the longest possible duration of a total solar eclipse. Once this time has elapsed, the full constellation of ‘stars’ in the night sky is restored. This highly technical feature required a year of painstaking development, in which the Bespoke Collective produced three complete prototypes to perfect the design and sequencing of the ‘stars’.

ILLUMINATED FASCIA AND ‘DIAMOND RING’ TIMEPIECE The illuminated fascia of Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis is adorned with 1,846 laser-etched ‘stars’ in a symbolic timeline of a total eclipse. A single Bespoke designer had sole responsibility for adjusting the individual size and position of each ‘star’ to create the mesmeric effect; a delicate and exacting process that took over 100 hours to complete.

The composition culminates in a Bespoke timepiece, which incorporates a brilliant-cut 0.5-carat diamond, recalling the ‘Diamond Ring’ effect, when a single, dazzling point of light can be seen on the Moon’s outline in the split seconds just before and immediately after it obscures the Sun. The bezel geometry has been modified to accommodate the precious gem, as this is the first time in Rolls-Royce history that a gemstone has been integrated into the clock’s bezel. The assembly underwent rigorous adhesion tests, which included climatic cell cycling from -30°C to +90°C, to ensure the diamond is robustly secured. The timepiece is finished with an etching on its dark aluminium surround, revealing the bright metal underneath. This beautiful piece of contemporary craftsmanship is the result of over 14 design iterations.

PANORAMIC SUNSET INTERIOR At totality of a solar eclipse, there is a moment when a golden twilight surrounds those viewing the eclipse, giving the illusion of a 360-degree sunset. In Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis, the beauty of this rarely observed phenomenon is captured in bi-coloured seats with a unique perforated artwork, made of over 200,000 individual perforations.

The bold Mandarin leather is tinted in a black shade that is then perforated to reveal the brighter contrasting colour beneath, creating a visual effect with extraordinary depth and subtlety. Using computational design tools, the Bespoke Collective developed a unique pattern, which was then manually refined over seven trials and iterations.

Bespoke finishing touches include illuminated treadplates, umbrellas with Mandarin piping concealed in the coach doors, and a unique indoor motor car cover bearing the Private Collection’s wordmark.

All 25 examples of the Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis Private Collection have been allocated to clients around the world.

[scrawnsenior]

Brands Hatch 2024.

Bit of a photo dump coming up. Not posted on here for nearly a year but had plenty of bike stuff still going on.

I gave up riding at National level last year and completed my last race at British Superbikes on my 50th birthday at Thruxton.

This year I have only been riding at club level and mainly so that I can help our cohort of BSB mechanics who have chosen to go racing themselves. My main priority has been the novice riders and I have completed my Auto-Cycle Union coaching course to help both the riders and the club.

2024 has not been without challenges and I have had a few bike niggles that have meant I've learned a lot on the engine side. More to follow on that.

I also had a big crash at the final meeting of the year trying to win a championship. That resulted in a lot of damage to the bike in this picture, more to follow on that too.

Overall a good year though and progress made by all of the team members at the club. I have one more outing this year to assist two more riders getting their licences ready for next year.

It's good to be back posting on here.

Image; Paul Hunt.

[bonesandthebees]

Oh yeah, I think the only person Wilbur might lose to in the streams shittiest sleep schedule competition is Tubbo, and that’s probably only because Wilbur needs to be awake on time for band stuff every once in a while (see filming the NPT music video at 9 am).

But I have watched the vod now (basically all I do is watch vod, the only people I every catch live is the QSMP morning crew and that’s only like the first 2-3 hours of stream). I was not ready for the sims 4 convo, or Karl Jacobs with the steal chair.

Also, Wilbur’s singing has gotten so much better. Like I remember when he would sing on stream and it would be fun, but filled to the brim with voice cracks. There wasn’t a single one all stream. All his notes were smooth. He used his head voice and everything. You can tell he’s been working with a voice coach. The progress is amazing.

Also, also. New song! We only just got this one! And the guitar is so cool! And I love when he does how to play breakdown, it makes it so much easier to learn the songs. I’m gonna need to try and play NTP now.

-🌲

god yeah tubbo's sleep schedule is near nonexistent. I still have fond memories of all the times I used to see he was live on the alt or something before I went to bed, and when I'd wake up in the morning he'd still be live. good times.

ironically despite us being in completely different time zones, I also mostly catch the morning crew bc morning is when I have the most free time lol so 🤝

the sims 4 convo was so funny because I also used to cycle wildly being between obsessed with the sims 4. I saw on twitter that we got a few more people being like "I didn't know wilbur from lovejoy was a twitch streamer" bc of the stream yesterday or they knew but they only knew him from lovejoy and didn't catch a stream until then, and their introduction to the lead singer of lovejoy's twitch was him talking about not leaving his house for a week bc he was playing the sims 4 for 16 hours a day. what an impression.

shoutout to karl jacobs coming out of left field that was fun

his singing has improved so much it's so lovely to see!!! I definitely remember the voice crack days and I kept waiting for his voice to crack when he sang yesterday and it just didn't happen.

ooooo best of luck learning to play npt!! seems like such a fun song to play and sing along too

[aashiquidreams]

Yesterday, on the summer solstice, I felt a surge of positive energy. The moon, almost full and in my natal sign of Sagittarius, seemed to amplify this feeling. I decided to use this energy to set intentions for the rest of the year, focusing on active and healthy behaviors. I attended a CrossFit class and made sure to eat healthy. When I first started taking antidepressants in May, I noticed some weight gain, which made me more miserable. However, I’ve been able to turn things around and make positive changes. My eating habits have been improving over the past few weeks, and I’ve even noticed some weight loss. It was heartening that my CrossFit coach noticed it too and asked me about it. It feels great that others are recognizing my progress, especially since I spend most of my time in solitude.

Today also marks exactly six years since I had gastric bypass surgery. My weight loss journey has had its ups and downs, but I’m happy and thankful that I started my gym routine last year in April and moved on to CrossFit in December. Although I might not work out every week, I’m doing much better than I was before my gym journey. It’s a work in progress, and I’m proud of myself for sticking with it. It’s not always easy without someone to motivate me on the bad days, but it does make me stronger and even more proud. Combining this anniversary with the positive energy from the solstice and the full moon, I feel empowered to continue my journey toward better health and well-being.

As I cycled home after CrossFit yesterday, I noticed a car parked in front of my main entrance with the number 999 on its license plate. Angel number 999 signifies the completion of a cycle, closure of old chapters, and preparation for new beginnings. It can also represent spiritual awakening and embracing higher perspectives. This synchronicity felt profound, reminding me of the progress I’ve made and the transformations I’ve undergone.

With the waxing moon in Sagittarius and tonight’s full moon in Capricorn, I feel aligned with closing old chapters and welcoming new opportunities. I’m grateful for this journey, and I look forward to continuing towards better health and well-being. In moments like these, I’m thankful to God for the strength that carries me through all the challenges.

Happy full moon! ✨🌕✨

[unfoldingmoments]

Self Help Junkie: Are We Addicted To Self-Development?

Because there's a certain type of person who is like a self-development junkie but they never self-develop. They go to all the conferences they watch all the videos they've got you know they can they know all the words but they don't actually put anything into action.

so there's there's a lot of subtlety but the craziest thing is that anytime we engage in some kind of self-help kind of thing it actually is a coping mechanism to deal with some negativity within us.

Endless Consumption vs. Action: Self-help junkies often seek out more and more information, believing that the next book, seminar, or workshop will provide the ultimate solution. They may love the feeling of hope or inspiration that comes with learning, but when it comes to putting those lessons into practice, they falter. The key issue is the lack of follow-through—knowledge is acquired, but no tangible steps are taken to apply it.

Temporary High of Inspiration: Attending self-development events or reading motivational content can create a temporary emotional "high." It's exciting to think about the potential for change, but this excitement can fade without consistent effort to implement the ideas. People may become addicted to the emotional rush of feeling like they’re working on themselves, even if no real change occurs.

Fear of Failure: For some, consuming self-help material is a way to avoid the discomfort of taking action. The fear of failure or the fear of stepping out of one’s comfort zone can be overwhelming. It's safer to keep learning than to risk failure by trying something new.

Perfectionism: A self-help junkie might feel they need to gather every possible piece of information before taking action, waiting for the perfect plan or strategy. This leads to analysis paralysis—overthinking and never actually starting.

The Illusion of Progress: Constantly learning can create the illusion of progress. Reading about time management, for instance, feels productive, but if it’s not applied in daily life, time is still being wasted. The person may feel they are improving just by being immersed in self-help, but without implementation, no actual growth occurs.

Avoidance of Deep Issues: Sometimes, people engage in self-help to distract themselves from deeper, more challenging emotional work. It can feel safer to focus on surface-level improvements rather than confronting painful or unresolved issues that may require more intense or uncomfortable introspection.

Breaking the Cycle:

Set clear goals: Identify specific areas of your life that need improvement and commit to taking small, actionable steps to address them.

Limit consumption: Avoid the temptation to constantly seek more information. Pick a few key ideas from the self-help material you’ve already consumed and focus on implementing them.

Create accountability: Share your goals with a friend, coach, or therapist who can hold you accountable and help you follow through on your plans.

Practice, don’t just plan: The key to growth is in the doing. Even if it’s imperfect or slow, taking action is the only way to experience real change.

Being a self-help junkie isn't inherently bad, but it becomes counterproductive when the cycle of learning never leads to real-world action. Real personal growth happens when you stop consuming and start implementing the lessons in your life. Dr K: We Are Producing Millions Of Lonely, Addicted, Purposeless Men & Women! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1ALkQMfkjc

[mindfulpathways]

Balancing Parenthood and Personal Growth: A Journey Through Procrastination, Coaching, and Healing

Balancing the demands of parenthood with the pursuit of personal growth can feel overwhelming. This is my story of grappling with procrastination, navigating coaching experiences, and embarking on a journey of healing and self-improvement.

Struggles with Procrastination:

There are times when I find myself entangled in the web of AI tools for my Shopify store, completely losing track of time and neglecting essential activities like eating. This obsession often leaves me unproductive and frustrated. For example, I can spend hours engrossed in these tools, only to realize later that I haven't accomplished anything significant. This cycle of unproductivity fuels my feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

Despite having access to numerous resources and courses, I struggle to maintain focus. Today, it’s already afternoon, and I need to pick up my children. Although I've done some tasks, the critical business goals remain unmet. This ongoing battle with productivity exacerbates my self-doubt, making it hard to break free from the cycle.

Navigating Parenting Challenges:

Being a parent adds another layer of complexity to my daily struggles. The guilt of not dedicating enough quality time to my kids is ever-present. My daughter, for instance, suffers from severe separation anxiety, stemming from past threats made by her mother. Each day, she waits by the door, anxious and fearful, underscoring the impact of our tumultuous past on her sense of security.

Balancing parental duties with personal ambitions is no easy feat. Often, I find myself neglecting basic needs or responsibilities due to my focus on work, which in turn makes me question my effectiveness as a parent. The constant worry about my children's well-being and my ability to provide a stable environment is a heavy burden to bear.

Coaching and Personal Growth:

The path to personal growth has been marked by my interactions with various coaches, each offering different insights and challenges. One coach’s overly warm demeanor left me questioning her authenticity, while another’s confident, almost aloof approach made me feel I needed to prove my commitment.

These coaching experiences have been a double-edged sword. While they have provided valuable guidance, they have also highlighted my insecurities and lack of direction. The questions posed by a Tony Robbins coach, for example, forced me to confront the harsh reality of my fears—failing to pursue my goals could lead to deep regret and self-loathing.

Healing from Trauma:

My journey is deeply intertwined with overcoming past traumas. I am proud to have maintained sobriety from crystal meth since 2008, yet I continue to grapple with other compulsive behaviors. Techniques such as somatic experiencing, developed by Peter Levine, have been crucial in my healing process, helping me build confidence and process lingering traumas.

Recovery is ongoing and challenging. Despite my progress, financial worries and fears of failing to secure a stable future persist. ADHD complicates matters, as I often forget important tasks, adding to my anxiety. Nonetheless, the pursuit of somatic healing has given me a renewed sense of hope and direction.

Financial Anxiety and Future Planning:

Financial stability remains a significant concern. My $35,000 savings are dwindling, consumed by living expenses and efforts to create meaningful content. The fear of not completing a $7,000 e-commerce program haunts me, as does the daunting task of selecting product suppliers for my business. Why do I skip checking out the next possible program? Sigh

Building a sustainable business feels like a monumental task fraught with financial risks. The anxiety over potentially exhausting my resources and the constant pressure of financial management weigh heavily on me. The added challenge of dealing with ADHD, which often leads to forgetfulness, exacerbates these fears and stresses. Just another steam of consciousness

[n0ts1cken0ugh]

Day 8

I don’t really have a set routine and honestly I’ve been slacking this month. I’ve been so exhausted all the time whether I eat “enough” or not and people think I’ve gone anaemic again :/ I don’t like going to the doctor and it’s not like I’d really end up taking the iron tablets is it so there’s not really much point.

Anyway, when I do exercise it’s just what I feel like- I have karate 1-2 days a week which is a great workout because the coaches make us do pushups, sit ups, squats and running and it’s generally quite cardio based too. I always burn around 500 calories in each class :)

Apart from that I sometimes run or walk, do online workout videos (Chloe Ting mainly) or since I have loads of dumbbells and weights and a bar I’ll just do a few exercises for each part of my body.

Or sometimes I want to fukin d13 of exhaustion so I do as many cardio and weights videos as I can and then go run or walk and then pass out onto my bed :) that’s the most fun because I’m too busy to eat all day and then I’m tired so I go to bed without dinner or any snacks AND I’ve burned almost 1,000 calories usually so then when I wake up I don’t want to ruin my progress so I just don’t eat for the next few days and keep exercising and it’s all great! :) until I then see cookies in the cupboard and have one then binge and pvrg3 and then the cycle repeats!!11!!!1 omg soooo much fun🤩

[integratedsoul]

✨WEEK: 5/5/24-5/12/24✨

R.E.P.O.R.T.

How did I ✨REALIGN✨ this week?: 

-podcasts: Ed Mylett with Leila Hormozi "Act from your values, not your feelings"; Ed Mylett solo podcast about fear; Katorina Satori (abundance/intimacy wound) on Youtube; profound on youtube; Dr. Joe Dispenza, body wisdom podcast: 3 steps to get out of freeze mode; human design/ gene keys

-learning about Near Death Experiences on YouTube; miraculously inspiring

What did I ✨EAT✨/ What ✨EXERCISE✨ did I indulge in?: -I planted the garden! I made sourdough discard crackers & pizza, granola, meatloaf with billy, beef tacos, fritzs cinny rolls.. lots of: yogurt bowls, deli sandwiches, & protein shakes.

-took a break from my 'normal' routine; had a bit of a lazy week mentally; still showed up physically everyday. Consistency is how progress shows up. 

What did I ✨PRIORITIZE✨ this week:

-Joining masterclasses: putting myself in the room to learn and be a student, to gain wisdom and insight from others! Commit as my higher self!  5/4: Quantum coaching masterclass w/ Ashley 5/5: pause breath work master class 5/6: thriving in midlife w/ Dr. Edie 5/7: sound engineering with the being method 5/8: billy & I cooked meatloaf cups and dessert on zoom with PA cooking class 5/8: Gerrian Jones breakthrough session 5/10 & 5/11: Tony Robbins Unshakeable business 5/12: Dr. Nicolya human design master class 

What did I ✨OBSESS✨ over this week: 

-writing & editing scripts, recording & posting videos: releasing multiple this week

-masterclasses: favorites from the week: Tony Robbins- unshakeable business & Dr. Nicolya- human design 

-podcasts: favorites: Ed Mylett with Leila Hormozi, Body Wisdom podcast how to get out of freeze; youtube- katorina satori & Dr. Nicolya

What would I ✨RECOMMEND✨ for next week: 

-BOOKS: “It didn't start with you”- Mark Wolymn / psychology around quitting substances/addictions -Allen Carr

-meditation book→ get back into journaling my mediations & continue with morning pages in new book! (get book & decorate it→format the front with: gratitude list, your why, your values)

-morning breathwork practice followed by qigong, tapping, movement 

-profound personalized self care: find a ‘strategy’ that you can use to tap into your intuitive→ MUSCLE TESTING (ask very basic questions that you know the answer to, then see how other questions feel after establishing a “specific” expected outcome)

-dive more into the quantum realm and manifest something small to generate positivity on my journey What did I TRY this week: / or What was your favorite ✨TEACHING✨ you learned?

-BALANCE INSULIN* →main hormone to balance for OPTIMAL health (Dr. Edie)

-"THE BREATH IS THE BRIDGE BETWEEN DIMENSIONS” (Katarina Satori) 

-"JUST COMMIT AS YOUR HIGHER SELF AND ALLOW YOUR HIGHER SELF TO SHOW UP (Garrian Jones)

-“LEADERS ANTICIPATE, LOSERS REACT” (Tony Robbins)

-"FEAR (the unknown) IS ALWAYS PRESENT WHEN I’M DOING SOMETHING WORTH DOING” -Leila Hormozi

-"ALIGN YOUR VALUES AND ACT FROM YOUR VALUES, NOT YOUR FEELINGS" -Leila Hormozi

OTHER NOTES:  1. It’s not about how you feel- it’s about how you react to your feelings- how you react to the parts of yourself that are afraid of the situation!!!!!!  2. Be mindful be smart but also be courageous—> know what serves you and what doesn’t but know what has the potential to serve you    3. Treat yourself like a friend to allow parts of you to change!  4. Do things with courage, you can be scared and still do something, and when you’re finished you realize it wasn’t even scary anyway!! Daily breakdown: 5/5/24→my effort is more than nothing. (breath, qigong, workout) 5/6/24→my life is full of devotion. (breath, yoga, workout, 20 yin) 5/7/24→I have powers in my body. (pickleball, lets up wall) 5/8/24→my love ripples throughout the world. (meditation, workout, garden) (end cycle) 5/9/24→we are one beating consciousness. (run, emotional clearing, hips yoga, meditations) 5/10/24→I am here for the full human experience. (tony robbins unshakeable business) 5/11/24→my life is exactly as I make it. (yoga, workout) 5/12/24→my energy lights up around the safest people in my life. (short breathwork practice, insight timer meditation, qigong, yoga, EFT, workout)