#Primarch Vulcan

[meattiramisu]

The TicTac Primarchs

Part 3

14) Mrtrn

15) Mgns th Rd

16) Hrs Lprkl

17) Lrgr Rln

18) Vlcn

19) Crvs Crx

20) Lphrs Mgn

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

The Dark Side (Konrad Curze, Vulkan)

Summary: Konrad Curze meets Vulcan's favorite mortal.

Konrad Curze/fem!Reader, Vulkan/fem!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession

Word count: 1165

Song: Muse - The Dark Side

He noticed you immediately when he got on board Flamewrought. His brother was gentle and kind to pitiful mortals. He cared about them and hated it when Curze told him the truth. The truth is that Vulcan is just as much a killer as all the primarchs. And yet he stubbornly denied it, cherishing his subordinates. But you... you bathed in his love.

He sensed it in the nifty little augmentations that could adjust your body temperature. Just in order to withstand one-on-one communication with Vulcan. He understood this from your appearance. You did not know hunger and poverty, dressed in a simple but pretty dress. And yes. Konrad understood this because one of the Salamanders stood next to you. A personal protector, ready to tear to pieces any Night Lord who tries to approach you.

He probably could have noticed more details, but your personal Space Marine quickly took you to another part of the ship. Surely Vulcan did not want his gloomy brother to see you. Well, the Night Lords were faster. Curze remembered how then an evil grin spread across his face, and his body almost trembled at the mere possibility of killing you. Oh, how Vulcan would be upset.

Konrad did not speak to the primarch about you. First he wanted to meet you in person. A couple of words there, a couple of actions here and you’re sitting in your room completely alone. Weak and defenseless, completely at the disposal of the lord of the night. The primarch wanted to see your fear, to see your pathetic body shrink and your bladder burst. Wanted to hear your pleas and pathetic threats that you are in favor of Vulcan himself.

He didn't get it. Nothing at all.

You looked at him with almost glazed eyes. Your finger slowly touched your chin as your eyelashes fluttered slowly. You were puzzled. But not scared. Konrad felt that what was happening was wrong. What are you?

“You're pale.” - you say timidly. The voice is quiet and thoughtful. - “And the eyes are black. You probably don’t eat much... and you hardly see the sun.”

Curze just stared blankly as your small figure approached his massive body. You touched the black feathers of his cloak with interest. The man saw how thoughts were spinning on your gentle face and you were trying to think about what you saw. Until you gasp and look into his eyes with... delight?

"You are tall! Almost as tall as Vulcan. You must be his brother.” - Satisfied with your mind, you smile at Curze, as if he were your old friend. - “And you're pale because he takes all the sun for himself. I know his world is on fire, yours is probably not so hot. And feathers! You have so many feathers. Are you a bird-human or just love crows?”

Interest. Delight. No fear, hatred or disdain. Pure happiness. One continuous... innocence. Pure and immaculate, real, embodied in a little girl. Innocence. It was it.

It is unworthy for a primarch to run away from the battlefield, but it is even worse to run away from an ordinary mortal. His hearts beat with such frequency that the Night Haunter became deaf to other sounds. He rushed about like an animal, not seeing the frightened Space Marines and mortals on his way.

He wanted to tear someone apart. Sink his teeth into the flesh and drink the red liquid. Suck out the eyes and wrap himself in other's guts. To throw out all the rage that was raging inside. Is this rage?

Night Haunter couldn't do something like that to you. He just couldn't. Why? Your pain would be a pleasure to him. There is no good in the world. There are no innocent people. But you, you...

Konrad tastes his own blood. How his skin melts under a series of blows from his once calm brother. Finally. It was not in vain that he decided to visit this girl. As soon as Vulcan found out about this, he immediately attacked Curze, as soon as they were left alone. The primarch saw the red eyes glow, erupting with rage. Malice. Hate. Perhaps he could kill him right now... give him freedom.

But stupid nobility prevailed and the primarch spared him, turning his gaze to the space.

“I knew that you loved mortals, but not this much.” - the man licked the blood from his chin, swallowing a sharp tooth.” - "Who is she? Where did you find such... an incomprehensible and blunt toy?

Vulcan's eyes flashed with renewed rage, but the primarch restrained himself, retreating further from his uninvited brother. Was he afraid that he wouldn’t hold back again and would hurt Curze? Konrad wonders what he needs to do to you in order to finally hammer one simple thought into his brother’s head. He's the same monster.

“One of the civilians of the agri-world. The few who were able to survive the xenos attack.” - Vulcan pronounces the words while gritting his teeth. He doesn’t want to share the memory, but it’s better to answer Konrad before he throws out something new. - “Her dying father said that she has been so... special since childhood.”

Night Haunter clenched his teeth, dissatisfied with the way Vulcan pronounced “special.” Almost like an insult. Doesn't he love humanity? Shouldn't he cherish people like you? Weak, defenseless, pathetic people. So innocent.

“Some kind of abnormality in the brain. I promised her father that I would take care of her. She is a naive and kind girl, she knows and cannot do almost anything. She even refuses to eat meat because you can’t eat living creatures, it will hurt them.” - the man sighed tiredly, but Night Haunter felt the warmth in his words. He likes you. Even too much. Badly. Why is it bad? - “I can’t give her to an orphanage or to other mortals, she's too old, so now she lives here.”

Vulcan turned slowly, fixing his eyes on the Nostraman's face. Fury distorted his face, making him look like the dragon-like monster that mothers use to scare their children when they don’t want to go to bed. The temperature in the room rose to unbearably hot even for Curze. A little more and the room will melt.

“Don’t you dare go near her.”

Konrad Curze grins, expressing his disdain and amusement at this whole strange situation. But deep down, Night Haunter growls with indignation and envy. Why? Why did Vulcan get you? He already has plenty of mortals to watch, so why should you fall into his hands too? Let him share! Let him give you! And if not, then Night Haunter will take his toll.

A small, tiny ray of light will look good in complete darkness. The fire will consume you and you will merge with the rest of the dirt. But you'll be safe with Night Haunter. He won't let your innocence fade away. In this dark and empty galaxy.

The innocence will be his.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Tiny's Mischief

Author’s Note: This is the next fic in the Raised on Terra AU! First. Previous. Next. A big thanks to @undeaddream for letting me borrow their OC VM-5307 “Tiny” For this fic!

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @sharenadraculea @whorety-k @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan 

Warnings: Questionable parenting

Summary: Tiny has a grand time showing its charges around the vent system of the Imperial Palace. They really don’t know what all the fuss is about when they return with their charges to feed them. 

Tiny had been teaching its charges how to understand the binaric clicking and chirping it used to communicate with other beings. The other caretakers were teaching their charges how to speak in Gothic and a handful of other languages popular among the flesh-lovers of the Sol System. All four of it's charges were of high intelligence and had begun to try and mimic the sounds that VM-5307 made in rudimentary attempts to communicate, which had warned the regulatory circuits within the tech Priests' body. Working with infants was always a tricky endeavor, but incredibly rewarding when one saw the progress that they had made, even over a relatively short span of weeks to months. Truly, the human mind - a gift from the  Omnisiah - was a spectacular thing. As its charges were much more mobile than when they had been first introduced to it, Tiny had taken it upon itself to introduce them to its favorite way of getting around the Imperial Palace.

While it was true that unless their growth slowed down significantly, they would become far too large to navigate the Imperial Palace using the ventilation system before they were fully grown, the fact that they knew that there were beings capable of moving around in the vents and would do so was a valuable lesson to learn. Also the tight, twisting pathways of the vents were an excellent way to teach them how to navigate nearly identical looking pathways without getting lost or confused, which was a skill that Tiny was confident that they would need in their lives. 

Tiny was also fascinated by the fact that their personalities were already starting to develop at this age. Seven was generally the quietest of their four charges, and seemed to prefer parallel play with blocks or other building-type games, though the little one had occasionally shown sparks of a mighty temper when his carefully constructed little walls had been knocked down accidentally or otherwise by his brothers. 

Four also liked building things with his hands, though the little infant also took delight in knocking over other's structures - Seven's in particular - and occasionally tried to take Ten's favored stuffed animals when Ten was busy playing or itneracting with one of his brothers. 

Ten had a clear preference for playing with Three, when he was allowed to freely mingle with his brothers, though he was also somewhat drawn to playing with Thirteen as well, if Three was sleeping or otherwise engaged in play and wouldn't pay attention to Ten. Ten also liked eating anything he could fit inside his mouth, whether or not it counted as food for a baseline human being.

Especially rocks. Any kind of rock would do. Even the shining gemstones that adorned the armor of the custodes on guard, although how Ten had managed to rip off one of the smaller gemstones and begin to bite through it before anyone had noticed was beyond Tiny. Ten also liked to build and create things, though given that Tiny had been put in charge of the four Primarchs who were meant to create different sorts of weapons and armor, alongside their capabilities for war and the leading of mankind, this wasn't a surprise. 

Eighteen had proven to be the most gregarious and friendly of Tiny's four charges, often playing with each of his brothers in turn. But he did like to make things as well and seemed to have a strong sense of justice - he very much did not like it when one brother tried to steal toys from another and used his large bulk to enforce the rules as he saw them. 

It was fascinating to see their personalities continue to emerge as they got older. None of them were at the walking stage yet, but they were quite proficient in crawling around and their visual and auditory senses were acute enough for vent surfing to be a viable option. Tiny was mindful to not allow the little primarchs to explore past the wing of the Palace that had been designated for them just yet, as the Omnisiah had decreed. The Primarchs were too young and too vulnerable to be potentially exposed to more of the outside world, even if that outside world was other parts of the palace, according to His Imperial Eminence. 

From Tiny's experiences with little tech priests, he knew that as soon as they could speak and begin comprehending the world around them more fully, they would definitely start to chafe under the incredibly strict supervision that they were being put under, but perhaps the restrictions put in place as they were infants would ease up as they grew older - which it should. Little ones needed time and space to learn, to make mistakes in order to learn and grow properly. While failure was an acrid, bitter thing, learning how to handle failure and frustration from a young age was crucial for one's development, which was why Tiny was sitting back and observing its charges as they crawled around the vent system, trying to find their most preferred toys in spots in the vents that he had placed for them to find.

Eighteen in particular was proving to be quite possessive of his things and disliked being made to share, for all his friendliness and warmth. Eighteen had also found his most favored toy - a small plush dragon and was cuddling it close to his chest, burying his face in the soft material with a happy burble. 

Four was crawling on his hands and knees towards Eighteen, one tiny hand reaching out to grab the dark green and gold dragon toy.

Eighteen spotted his brother and growled, turning away and bodily blocking Four from even seeing the toy.

Four started pouting, lower lip sticking out, tears starting to form in his eyes before both Eighteen and Four heard a squeal from Seven. Both of them began to crawl towards where Seven had managed to wedge himself in the vents, tiny limbs flailing as he attempted to right himself.

Tiny began counting to itself. If the infant didn't manage to free himself by the time they reached one hundred, they would aid the little Primarch in getting free. But this sort of trial and error was excellent for the little ones' development,both in their physical motor skills and their ability to problem solve on their own. 

Seven continued to flail from where he'd gotten himself wedged, starting to successfully pull himself out of the hole he'd gotten stuck in when ten came rushing over as fast as his hands and knees could carry him. SEven grabbed the vabric of Seven's onesie and yanked hard, both of them toppling over and hitting their heads against the bare metal with solid thunks. 

Seven began to hiccup and sniffle near-silently, as he usually did when he cried. Ten laid still for several second before starting to wail and kick. 

Four and Eighteen rushed over to their brothers, sitting down next to them and started to wail in solidarity. The four of theirs crying echoing loudly through the ventilation system.

Tiny let them cry for a minute or two before gathering them up and rocking the still crying babies back and forth, crooning a binaric lullaby that it remembered that its' own caretaker had sung to them when they were very small and the world was so very big and terrifying. They checked the time and sighed, unsurprised not note that it was close to their feeding time. They always got more easily e motional and upset when hungry, a common flaw among fleshed humanity as a whole. Tiny retrieved the other three infants favorite toys and climbed through the vents, their charges secure in their mecha-dendrites. They popped the cover of the vent off in the Primarchs' nursery room and hopped down, charges still securely being held as it went over to the formula dispenser, acquiring a bottle for each of its charges, settling down to feed them.

Half-way through feeding Eighteen - the third to be fed - one of the custodes on guard duty poked their helmeted head into the room and scowled "Where the f-... Where have you been? And your charges! All five of you have been missing for hours!"

Tiny clicked back serenely, the translator servo skull that followed them everywhere whirring to life and interpreting for them [Showing charges vent system, letting them explore and learn more of their surroundigns. Returned before they became hungry. Feeding time, followed by naptime. Quiet voice, if you please.]

The Custodian grumbled something under their breath and left, stomping off.

the strange emotional outbursts of the fleshed were none of Tiny's concern unless they tried to threaten it or its charges, so the tech priest ignored their retreating form as it continued to feed its charges.

[tanknode]

I think out of all the primarchs, Magnus, Vulcan, Horus, and maybe Sanguinius have dimples

[icd-10lewis]

No, i'm not tired! Some more vacation vibes and summer primarhs by AI.

(made by Shedevrum)

[alastor8908]

Sevatar is punished for hitting Rushal. That's why Vulcan brought you a tasty treat today.

(Ice cream is slightly radioactive)

[astriskssketchbook]

THE LAST BATCH OF PRIMARCHS

Here they are.....in their bare chested glory.

*dies and lands perfectly in between the nicest set of pecs imaginable*

Edit:

Oh and if you're wondering what's going on with Vulcan, I decided to add black scales along with his complexion as a means to connect back to the whole dragon motif. Honestly I feel like the salamanders should have at least one added weird thing about them that just makes them even more lovable.

[moodymisty]

It's been discussed how a primarch's legion would react to their father getting married/having children, but now I'm curious. How do we think each primarch would react to their Space Marine sons falling in love/marrying/having children?

Depends on the chapter, honestly. Vulcan and Khan are the most overall chill. Sanguinus might be fine, Corvus would be iffy but more so because they’re unnatural beings and yet breeding and making more unknown variables. Horus I might think is chill but I dunno.

Konrad is chill, but more in the, “oh how nice Sevatar found a willing toy to play with” instead of the “aww he’s in love” way.

Alpharius/Omegon are chill and expected it. Remember they’re the only chapter with baseline members, and I’m sure they have so weird “it’s to get info” mindfuckery logic with it.

Magnus, and lorgar I think would say no unless it’s Ahriman or one of his higher ups.

Perturabo, Mortarion, and Angron are absolutely not. Get your dicks OUT of the serfs/historitors, we have a war to fight.

Dorn doesn’t say anything. Do your work, do it well and make sure it comes first. Them toying around with serfs once or twice doesn’t concern him at first.

Russ loves it! He’s like hell yeah have fun! More wolves! Just don’t leave him alone with your human lover for too long.

[marshalllieksstuff]

I think it would be very funny to piss off a certain section of the 40k fan base by collectively agreeing that half of the primarchs are trans.

The Lion? Cis, obviously. Lemus Russ? That boys got a pussy.

Either alpharius or omegon are trans and you'll never know which

Kurz? Cis, he's the joker babey. Corvus? I think we all know.

In other obvious news, Magnus is trans, in less obvious news, so is rogal dorn

Alright, here's another good one for the Cishets: Vulcan, cis ally, obviously

Guilliman? Cis ally but I'm a weird marketing way

Horus and Ferrus are cis but sanguinus and mortarion are trans

Perturabo: y'all remember those "detransitioners"? Yeah.

Angron, trans, writes itself

Khan, Cis, doesn't have time to think about gender

Fulgrim can be trans but then lorgar has to be cis

[cowman17]

And here we have a wild Vulcan supporting the queer folks of the imperium

In case you have a hard time picturing how tall the primarchs are, here is my neighbor's 12 ft tall gay skeleton for reference

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

What kind of love triangles I will write:

1) Konrad and Vulcan. They are opposites in the way they relate to people and the world. Konrad despises humanity, considers it a piece of meat, and Vulcan believes in goodness and wants to become a blacksmith after the war (uwu). And an important point! Konrad believes that he would have been better if he had not had the gift of foresight and had been born in another world. And someone (I don’t remember exactly) mentioned that Vulcan could have been the most cruel and deadly of the primarchs if not for his adoptive father.

2) Dorn and Perturabo. No comments.

3) Corvus Corax and Alpharius/Omegon. Both are stealthy, using quick and silent techniques to kill. But Corvus wants to find a family, to become a real human, and Alpharius/Omegon are quite happy with playing spies and that no one will ever truly understand them.

4) Leman Russ and Magnus, obviously. Psyker hater and psyker. Savage (but smart) and intellectual (but stupid).

5) Horus and Sanguinius. Beloved brothers. But too much responsibility fell on the shoulders of the self-centered Horus, and Sanguinius is not of this world. Probably the most difficult for me.

6) Guilliman and Lorgar. Not just because of the Monarchy, but because it is literally a battle between an atheist and a believer. Logic and feelings. Although it is Guilliman who is closest to people than Lorgar.

7) Angron and Lion. A man in the skin of a beast because of his nails. Experiences hatred and pain 24/7, although this particular primarch is the most empathic from birth. Lion looks like a knight, a noble man with a code of honor. But he literally lived in the forests of Caliban for several years like an animal.

8) Fulgrim and Ferus Manus. No comments.

9) Jaghatai Khan and Mortarion. The first one devotes time to his appearance, believes that enemies should underestimate you. Mortarion immediately shouts that he is "DEATH". Both knelt before the Emperor to their displeasure. But if Jaghatai Khan humbled himself and kept his oath as a warrior (what a great guy he is, the most underrated loyal primarch), then Mortarion harbored a grudge and gladly betrayed.

[sleepyfan-blog]

I VERY DESPERATELY NEED/Want Baby Primarch Mers. So Badly. PLEASE!

Ok! I"ll go down the list

1 - Lion - So, the temptation to make him part lionfish is incredible here. There's also the fact that IRL Lionfish are a huge problem in certain parts of the world because they are an invasive species in those areas, as well as incredibly deadly because of their poisonous spines. And considering how deadly Lion and his sons can be... Yeah, I think he's part lionfish. Specifically he has a deep green tail with silver stripes. His spines are black and gold and hold incredibly potent poisons.

2- ??? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]]

3- Fulgrim - He is part Coral Beauty Angelfish, and has a beautiful purple tail that fades into a vibrant yellow color. Coral beauties (at least according to the quick google search I did about them) are an incredibly hardy salt water fish, and known for their vibrant colorations.

4 - Perturabo - is part Cabezon - which are known for being Stubborn Bastard Fish who Refuse To Move until they get their next meal, willing to wait days and even weeks before they get their next meal. Which is often other fish, which I feel fits Peter turbo pretty well. He has a pleated tail and fins that are a mottled steel and black color, with the occasional yellow stripe.

5 - Jaghatai - is part Sailfish - which are allegedly one of the fastest fish in the world IRL. He has a bright white tail with red stripes. His fins are also white with red stripes.

6 - Leman - is part Piranha. Not only are Piranhas highly predatory, they also are species of fish that school together. Like how Space Wolves almost always stick together in packs. Also, he still has fangs in this AU. His tail and fins are a lovely slate grey color with an iridescent shine to them.

7 - Rogal - part greenland shark! Cold adapted predator of the sea. Doesn't look like much but is an apex predator in the seas it lives in. He has gorgeous golden fins and tails with black spots.

8 - Konrad - part goblin shark. I didn't pick it just because of the name, but because it is a deep water shark (lives in darkness, just like a certain edgy primarch) that is rarely seen by humans. And. Well. Most humans who saw Konrad didn't exactly live to tell about it, did they? He has a deep blue tail and fins that are surprisingly slender. But powerful and he has a hell of a bite and many, many pointy teeth.

9 - Sanguinius - He has a beautiful silver tail and fin-like wings, as his mer-half is flying fish! Although I was super tempted to make him part-lamprey because of the blood-sucking aspect of him.

10 -  Ferrus - as per the suggestions of @angronsjewelbeetle @c-u-c-koo-4-40k and @i-am-a-dragon34 Ferrus is now part Dunkleostous, with dark grey fins and tail on his dorsal side and a silvery ventral side.

11 - ?? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]

12 - Angron - part betta fish. He has striking red and gold fins and tail and will square the fuck up if the mood strikes.

13 - Roboute - there is a big temptation to go for the Ultramarlin pun, but I won't give in. What I am going with is part Ribbon Eel, as they have this really lovely blue body with bright yellow dorsal and ventral stripes that go all the way down their bodies. That and G-Man having a long tail to thwap his brothers with makes me giggle.

14 - Mortarion - part pufferfish. Prickly, defensive and poisonous. Can and will puff up. Has grey fins and tail with dark green spots. Spiny.

15 - Magnus: I am torn between making him part carp - because of the Japanese (I think?) myth about a carp jumping up a waterfall in order to become a dragon - which hints at Magnus' incredibly powerful warp abilities or an Abtu, which is a mythical ancient Egyptian fish, because Space Egypt. Thoughts? Opinions?

16 - Horus: Is part dolphin. Known for being very charismatic and charming, but can and will bully other kinds of sea life. Baby-Horus has a deep green tail with gold markings.

17 - Lorgar - I love the Parrot Fish pun suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k so that is what I am going with. His fins and tail are a deep red color with a silver shimmer to them.

18 - Vulcan - another excellent suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k for making one of the primarchs part barracuda! I have decided on Vulcan, rather than Magnus. Vulcan’s dorsal fins and tail are a deep green color, the ventral side is black. Along the middle where the two colors meet, he had gold spots.

19 - Corvus: Part of me wants to make Corvus either some kind of shark, or angler fish bc of his whole "sworn vengeance and eternally hunting after Lorgar post-heresy" thing but. Big E is also a being who loves himself some aesthetics and I don't think a part-angler fish boy would fit that. Perhaps part black-tipped shark bc of their stealthiness. Thoughts?

20 - Alpharius and Omegon: are color-pallet changed blue-ring octopi. Instead of a yellow body with bright blue rings, they have vibrant teal tentacles with bright silver ring-patterns across their tentacles and up the fishy parts of their bodies.

@egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

I've seen some people claim that the Leman Russ and Rogal Dorn tanks are symbolic of the primarchs they're named after, but suppose the other loyalists each got a tank. What would they be like?

Apart from "Khan's tank goes fast" and "Vulcan's tank only has flamers", at least

I’ll preface by saying I think that claim is nonsense! Anyway.

Corax’s tank is covered in enormous shotguns and has noise dampeners built into it. The Sanguinius is a hover tank with a lascannon array on it. The Ferrus is a regular tank with a convertible roof. The Guilliman is a troop-carrier with highly customisable hard points. The Lion is a slightly flattened-looking beast with twin-linked cannons and an impressive array of ramming spikes.

[godsdraftbox]

I should be working on worksheets for school but i can't be fucked to do that, but you know what i can fuck? that's right TIME FOR THE PRIMARCH REVIEW!!!

Lion El'Johnson : Bad case of "pornstar grunt" syndrome and a very selfish lover. You'll never know if he likes what your doing and when you're done good luck getting him to wake up

Ace

Fulgrim : The man is a perfectionist so he'll will get you off in ways you didn't know you could get off, but he won't stop doing the Patrick Bateman mirror flex

Perturabo : He'll get done. neither of will like it and he'll complain before, during and after, but he'll get it done

Jaghatai Khan : Always down for a quickie, always in a different place but he won't stop trying to get you to do it on his Harley... while he's driving it

Leman Russ : Some of the roughest sex of your life, every time you're done you have to get a new bed frame and make up excuses for all the bite marks

Rogul Dorn : Only fucks doggy style cause it's the most structurally sound position and afterwards he'll give you a list of improvements for next time

Konrad Kurz : Says he's kinky and into BDSM but not really, that's just an excuse he uses to do what ever he wants. Will have at least 2 joker moments during.

Sanguinius : Very loving, very caring and will encourage you to explore your kinks. Has a thing for blood but will talk to you about it beforehand.

Ferris Manus : So many toys, like sooooo many toys. It may as well be an obstacle course just to get on the bed. You will finish him off first and kinda forget about him tho.

Homophobic

Angron : The best hate-fuck of your life. He will batter and bruise you, but he'll also be weirdly receptive to your queues and know what you want

Roboute Guilliman : Bog standard affair. Very efficient. Not the best you've had but it's fine. He does have an itinerary. You will be asleep by 10pm

Mortarion : Won't stop bragging about his endurance and kinda just lays there. He stinks(and not in a good way). You call him daddy by accident and he starts going off about how he hates his dads. VERY racist.

Magnus : Very needy for validation and constantly wants to try stuff he read in a book. It gets to the point where you understand why the council of Nikeae went the way it did.

Horrus Lupercal : Takes charge and know where all your weak spots are. Very charming at first, but start talking about how he hates his family near the end

Lorgar : Mormon. Insists you get married before you even hold hands, but will imply he's ok soaking

Vulcan : A very passionate lover, you will never feel safer, warmer or more loved. Bonus: recovers very quickly from anything you do to him

Corvus Corax : only hits you up at night, shows up when you least expect and will be gone in the morning before you wake up, but he will have breakfast ready for you and a note with some edgy but endearing poetry

Alpharius Omegon : Whenever you meet up with Alpharius he jokes that he's actually Omegon, but it's starts feeling less like a joke until you're just not sure. He somehow gaslights you into having an orgasm.

I go back and forth on how sex with the God Emperor of mankind would be.

On the one hand he's a very thorough man with literal myriads of experience. He'd probably give you 4th dimensional orgasms that are felt throughout the warp and make everyone within a few light-years get noticeably hot and bothered.

On the over hand he's not above using me until he's satisfied then sending the custodes to finish me off(à la thunder warriors) or doing the psychic equivalent of sticking a hand mixer in my ears and turning it on after saying "oh god!" one too many times

[wxnheart]

Fem primarchs. Vulcan would the biggest mom friend

With some of the bestest boobies to ever boobie.

Vulkan's hugs are magical, more so because of Primarch titties.

[untitledesquire]

Completely scientific and objective Primarch Tier List

1. Jaghatai Kahn, Kaghan of Chogoris cause he go fast.

2. Lion El’Jonson, cause he like trees.

3. Lorgar Aurelian, cause he just like me FR.

4. Vulcan, cause he best boi 💕

5. Alpharius and/or Omegon, cause he/they are the best loyalist/traitor to ever play the game.

6. Horus Lupercal, cause he heresy.

7. Robute Guilliman, cause he Hermes Conrad.

8. Magnus the red, cause he did nothing wrong.

9. Rogal Dorn, cause he just another brick in the wall.

10. Ferrus Mannus, the Cyclopes, cause he make guns good.

11. Fulgrim, the Phoenician, cause he babygirl.

12. Angron, The Red Angel, cause he hulk smash.

13. Corvus Corax, cause he batman.

14. Sanguinius, the blood angel, cause he cool but I haven’t read many books with him and don’t have a great sense of his character yet.

15. Perterabo, the Lord of Iron, cause he’s simply the worst.

16. Konrad kurze, the Night Haunter, cause he somehow worse than Peter.

17. Mortarian, Lord of death, cause he look like Rufus the Mole Rat.

18. Missingno1, cause he [redacted]

19. Missingno2, cause he [redacted]