#Pretty sure this is all of the uses of 'boat' to actually refer to a spaceship or space station

[hephaestuscrew]

Appreciation post for the Hephaestus crew using the word 'boat' to refer to spaceships

Ep9 The Empty Man Cometh

EIFFEL: Unfortunately the good folks at Goddard Futuristics spared every expense when they put together this boat. [referring to the Hephaestus]

Ep23 No Pressure 

EIFFEL: The power and the support systems on this boat do kinda have a rocky relationship… [referring to Lovelace's shuttle]

Ep27 Knock, Knock

MINKOWSKI: I don't trust anyone on this boat right now. [referring to the Hephaestus]

Ep29 Pan-Pan

LOVELACE: Believe me, kids, right now I'm up for killing everything and everyone on this boat. But I promise the grid is down. [referring to the Hephaestus]

Ep30 Mayday

EIFFEL: Eiffel's Action Plan #1: turn this boat around, get back to the Hephaestus. [referring to Lovelace's shuttle]

Ep42 Time to Kill

EIFFEL: And we're sure our little lifeboat can survive the three hour tour? [referring to the experimental module]

Ep61 Brave New World

MINKOWSKI: Miss Young, you're going to go up to the bridge, you're going to get me flight capabilities, and then you and Kepler are going to get the hell off my boat. [referring to the Sol]

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

≡;-꒰ 𝑿𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑬𝑹 ꒱₊˚ ପ⊹ I 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒚

╰┈➤ ❝ xavier x afab!reader | smut nsfw 18+ mdni

tags : porn with little plot, pure filth actually (quite self-indulgent), slight food play?, food sharing, slight public teasing if you squint, essentially just xavier being a little shit (again), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, oral (f. receiving), vaginal sex (unprotected), creampie, cum eating, praise, use of pet name "angel", references to "childhood snacks" secret times, lmk if i missed any tags!! ((unedited))

wc : 4.5k

an : has NO ONE ELSE noticed how often strawberry is mentioned in xavier's cards?!!! and also, thank you for 500+ follows where did you all come from omg,,,

You were far better than any candy.

It wasn't often that the two of you got to spend a day outside together.

With how your occupations treated the both of you, most of your days off were much-preferred to be spent indoors—cuddling, watching a movie, or whatnot... and Xavier, of course, was always very fond on catching up on his sleep. Not that you ever minded; in fact, you found those extra days of simple rest very welcome. In your little afternoon naps, Xavier's presence by your side was always comfortable under the warmth of the sunlight.

But...

Sometimes, days like this were just as welcome.

Despite the Linkon heat, you wore a big smile on your face as Xavier helped you off the viking ride, gently guiding you as you stepped out of the ceramic boat. You dusted off your dress, looking back at the boat with a wistful gaze.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" He echoed your thoughts, slowly lacing his fingers together with yours in the exact way that made your heart flutter.

You looked back at him with another smile, falling into step with him. In your mind you recalled the brush of the wind in your faces as the ride swung higher and higher, the thump in your heart recalling the thrill of it and turning your smile into a full-blown grin. "Yeah!" you nodded enthusiastically. "I'm glad we went with your suggestion. Starting off with the more relaxing rides and working our way to the fun ones... You get to feel the thrill all the more!"

You caught the way his gaze softened, and he gently squeezed your wrist. "The face you make when you're excited is really pretty."

His comment came casually, and he nodded lightly to himself, almost as if confirming his statement as a pink blush slowly made its way to the tips of your ears.

"When you're embarrassed, too," he added with a smile.

You would never tire of it—how he would always make you fluster with his words, so nonchalant, so unexpected. He had that sort of habit, especially with you—the gall he had to present himself so unassuming and casual, you could never understand it, but it did the job quite well and sent your heart for a ride of its own.

With a little huff, you looked away. "You, too, then!" you could tease back normally, but this time, your response held a little less bite to it, and Xavier laughed.

"If that's how you feel, then I won't complain."

The two of you paused in front of a souvenir shop, and immediately, you felt your eyes brighten. Your grip on his hand tightened. "Xavier—"

"You want to go, right?" He had that same, knowing, gentle smile on his face, and he inclined his head towards the entrance. "Sure, then."

"But... you have to come with me!" Again, you tugged at his arm.

But there was a glint in his eyes, almost as if he knew what you were planning.

Xavier shook his head. "How about this? You can surprise me with something from this shop... And then it'll be my turn to surprise you at the next one we come across." He made a quick glance at the map in his other hand. "I think it sounds fair. Don't you?"

You could pout at his words, but there was truth in what he spoke—even as you looked at him inquisitively, you could find nothing that showed he wouldn't keep this promise, and there was no reason to refuse.

Except...

Curiously, you peered at him.

"You should know exactly what's in store for you," you narrowed your eyes playfully. "Why are you indulging me today?"

Xavier shrugged, then, and even the smile on his lips couldn't prepare you for his next statement, so raw, and honest, and genuine that it made your heart turn—"I like seeing you happy."

There wasn't an ounce of mirth in his eyes when he spoke this, and perhaps, though he was normally straightforward with you and affectionate like this at the most random of times, it would never prevent the butterflies from racing in your stomach.

Blushing, you turned away, letting go of his hand and walking to the store.

"...Wait for me here, then!"

And perhaps, it could have been part of his plan to ease you out of bullying him the way you often did, for it surely worked:

You returned out of the store not with matching bunny headbands like you'd originally intended, but cat ones, instead.

Close enough, you thought.

With a small smile, you shielded your eyes from the sun and glanced around for Xavier, only to spot him lounging near an empty bench by the fountain. It was closer to the bushes and a lot cooler with the breeze, seeing as it was a spot much further away from the crowds of people. His legs were crossed as he flipped through the pages of one of his little pocket books, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, no doubt a sign that he, too, was feeling a little hot with the noontime sun at its peak.

As you approached with the headbands in your hand, your footsteps slowed when you noticed him reach upwards to brush the hair out of his face, his mouth opening slightly to guide the lollipop he had from one side of his cheek to the other.

Despite yourself, you gulped—

And curse how attractive of a boyfriend you truly had.

When he looked up at you, you'd barely registered for yourself that you had settled down to sit beside him, and his eyes drifted to the headbands in your hand.

"...Cat headbands?" He momentarily took the lollipop out of his mouth and raised his eyebrows at you, clearly amused. "I was expecting something else."

But you didn't reply.

Your eyes met, then, and a small, tiny tiny little smirk played on his face. It told you everything you needed to know.

Instead, you noted the slight stick of candy on the corner of his mouth, and when he put the treat back in, you barely noticed the way he took the headband from you and promptly put it over his head. Your eyes instead were focused on the way he languidly swirled his tongue over the candy.

He let out a hum of consideration as he looked at himself through the locked screen of his phone, but when the lollipop shifted around in his mouth again, his eyes turned back to you—

You had been caught.

Instinctively, you pulled your hand away from him, but he was quick as he held it in place, slowly sliding the lollipop back out of his mouth and twirling the stick between his thumb and his forefinger thoughtfully.

"This? Oh... Someone came by with all sorts of candies to sell. The children were crowding him, but I managed to get one." His gaze switched from the lollipop and then back to your face, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Sorry, angel... Did you want one, too?"

"You, um.... You didn't tell me you were gonna get one..." Your voice was thick when you spoke, and you fumbled slightly with your words.

He smiled.

Something in you told you it would be dangerous if you dared to answer, but you found that you couldn't look away from him. "...Mhm," you nodded your head, honestly speaking, even as your breath caught in your throat when he reached over to stroke the side of your face.

"We can look for a candy store next," he murmured.

You watched his eyes drop to your mouth, and he slid the thumb of his hand slowly down to your lip, his smile almost widening at the way your jaw dropped opening ever so slightly.

"Guess you don't want to wait."

Without waiting, his other hand, holding the lollipop, still wet and half-dissolved from how it had stayed in his mouth prior to your arrival, and slid it into yours. Your gazes locked as you instinctively curled your tongue around the candy, wandering over every inch of it, taking in its flavor before swallowing.

And he smiled.

"It's strawberry bubblegum," he nodded at you, again speaking somewhat matter-of-factly, but that same sly, sly smile was still plastered on his face.

Then he pushed.

A slow, filling push, as he slid the pop further into your mouth.

You gasped at the feeling, unable to help the way you sucked on the candy, unable to stop yourself from maintaining eye contact and seeing every little way pure delight would make its way to his features.

Your tongue swirled over the lollipop, lips parting when he withdrew it, feeling the way your mouth would stick with sweetness before he was guiding it back into you, twirling the stick between his fingers and allowing you to taste it again, and again. And he remained silent as he did it; slowly, precisely guiding the treat in and out of your mouth, having you breathe carefully through your nose as you looked up at him with your eyes half-lidded.

The edges of your mouth were coated with saliva and melted sugar, sticky as you swallowed all of the flavor that you could, dissolving the candy with your tongue as much as you possibly could.

When the candy remaining on the stick was considerably small, he pulled the treat out of your mouth and back into his, biting it off with an almost cheeky grin.

"It's good, isn't it?" he hummed, making a show of licking his fingers clean in front of you, watching as your eyes shifted to once again follow the movements of his tongue, and smirking slightly as your breathing became short and quick.

"Something wrong, angel?" he tilted your head back up to meet his eyes, voice so soft that you could melt. He noted the way your skin was wet and sticky, shining with the residue of the candy, and he didn't wait for your answer.

Instead, he leaned over to lap at your chin, quick, small kitten licks up your jawline until he was kissing you, making you taste the thick, sweet flavor of the strawberry lollipop still llingering in your mouths.

When he pulled away, you were dazed, your heartbeat erratic, barely processing the way he handed you a wipe to actually properly clean your face, your lips turning down into a pout.

"...You're unfair, Xavier," you whined.

You pouted even as he placed your headband onto your head, clearly smiling with satisfaction at the way the both of you matched.

"Why's that, angel?" he hummed, feigning innocence like he often did.

And it pissed you off, it really did—he was infuriating when he wanted to be, even after all he'd done just now, the taste of the candy still lingering on the tip of your tongue.

"Oh, come on! How can you do all of that and act like nothing happened?" you huffed. "I want you..."

His eyes crinkled up in joy as he laughed, reaching over to pat your head. "But we're here for the rides, aren't we? You said you'd go on all of them."

When you crossed your arms and looked away, pressing your thighs together in a way that he definitely noticed, he only chuckled once more and gave you a small kiss on the top of your head.

"Later," he murmured, "I promise. But for now... We shouldn't waste our admission tickets."

You couldn't argue after that.

He had a point, after all—and luckily for you, in the end, it wasn't too hard for you to let your arousal slip off your mind for the rest of the day.

Instead, you simply enjoyed being in his company.

Each ride you took, from the drop tower to the rollercoaster to even a little game of bumper cars, was as exhilarating as the last. Even winning a target game against him by barely a single point had you jumping up and down with glee, your arm carrying a big, fluffy white bunny that you confidently stated looked a lot like him. And almost like an unspoken promise, he didn't tease you any more than he already had—the cotton candy remained cotton candy, the marshmallows remained marshmallows, and the animal crackers were eaten just as they should be.

By the time you both had walked back to your apartment, the little bag in his hand containing whatever "surprise" he'd gotten for you rustled against his wrist, and you peered curiously into it once you settled with him on the couch.

"Candy?" you questioned doubtfully as you pulled out a little packet of licorcice, but your eyes shone when you eagerly popped it into your mouth and chewed.

Xavier shrugged, leaning back into the couch. "That... last time we tried snacks together was fun, so I figured you'd appreciate another one."

You almost laughed. "But those were my childhood snacks! These are just your typical candy! We could've tried these any day, you know?"

He raised an eyebrow, taking a chewable candy into his mouth. "We could've worn animal ears any other day, too."

This time you grinned, and settled into his arms. "Yeah, you're right. I have a sweet tooth, anyway, so I'll gladly eat candy with you. You didn't need to set this up..."

You fished into the bag and pulled out a smaller bag of chocolate bits, its brand unfamiliar to you as you held it up.

"Oh, I thought you'd like that one," Xavier spoke first this time. "You like milk chocolate, don't you?"

Something in your heart sparked at the mention, and you couldn't help but smile. "You remembered!"

Your hands were eager as you opened up the packet, unwrapping one piece and putting it into your mouth.

The first bite had your eyes sparkling wide, noting how it melted into your mouth as you chewed.

Xavier looked at you, amused. "Is it good?"

You were excited as you took out another piece of chocolate, and you nodded—this time, you closed your eyes to savor the taste, letting yourself relax into the richness of its flavor. "Mmm... t'so good..." You'd barely noticed the way your satisfaction had the tone of your words twisting into something mildly inappropriate, your eyes still closed as you chewed. And you couldn't have registered that particular smile edge at Xavier's lips once more.

But Xavier wouldn't let you off the hook that easily.

"Hmm. Could I try some?" His voice was close to your ear when he murmured out his words, but you were happy to oblige him, clearly not catching onto his intentions.

You held up the bag of chocolates for him, taking yet another into your mouth—

Instead, he smirked down at you and gently set the chocolates back into the bag with the rest of the candy, pushing it off the couch as his lips found yours.

Your eyes widened, his tongue mixing with yours and tasting for himself the milkiness of the chocolate you'd eaten, his own eyes half-lidded as he lowered you onto the couch. When your head hit the armrest, all sense of arousal from earlier at the theme park came rushing back to you in waves, and you gave in.

Xavier pulled away only to kiss you once more with increasing fervor, and you moaned into the kiss, feeling any rational thought seep from your head within seconds. Your arms were around his neck and his hand was in your hair, your clothed bodies flush against each other as the kiss, the moment, became steadily more passionate, steadily more heated.

The bag of candy slumped on the ground beside the couch, easily long-forgotten with the way his lips moved against yours, his tongue soft and wet in your mouth as the heat slowly began to crawl over to your cheeks. When he pulled back, you were flushed, breathless. His body hovered over yours, his hair hanging over your face, his eyes displaying a lingering sense of desire that mirrored your own.

You swallowed thickly.

"Yeah," Xavier breathed, his voice hushed. He licked his lips. "The chocolate tastes good."

You could barely believe he was still talking about that.

"I-I don—"

"But... I have an idea of what would taste better."

He cut off the beginnings of your protest with a little smirk, and you could see the way his eyes raked over your body to where the skirt of your dress had ridden up just enough to expose the side of your panties.

Your heart thrummed loudly in your chest.

"Wh- what would that be?" You tried testing him, tried to look into his eyes to gauge what his next move was.

"You don't know, angel?" He murmured as he drew closer to you once more, lips barely touching yours, his hot breath fanning over your face.

Feebly, you whimpered, but you didn't dare make a move.

Xavier dipped down to bury his face into your neck, and breathed in deeply. "You smell like strawberries."

Your breath hitched.

"Did you plan this? Your lotion... It's new."

You felt his hands snake underneath your dress, pushing the fabric upwards to grip firmly on your waist. The contact on your bare skin made your eyelids flutter closed.

"F-for you," you replied, your breath shaky.

"For me?"

"Y-you... You like strawberry, so I thought I, um... would make you happy with it..."

Xavier pulled back away from you with a warm smile, his hand leaving your waist momentarily to brush the hair out of his face.

"You always make me happy no matter what you do, angel," he spoke sincerely, genuinely, despite the heated moment that the both of you had just shared. But his eyes narrowed almost playfully, and he tilted his head to the side with a short laugh. "But you don't know how much I've been waiting to eat you up because of that scent."

His words made you whine, a mixture of both pride and embarrassment coarsing through your body at the fact that you had been the one to get him all needy like this for you.

"So, angel..." Xavier trailed his fingertips over your thighs, pushing them apart as he shifted downwards, closer to your core. Another smile teased at his lips when your breath hitched, but his eyes never left yours. "May I?"

You threaded your hands into his hair, and your eyes fell closed.

"Okay."

His lips were on your thighs then, warm and soft as he trailed his kisses upwards. And the sensation of it all made you shiver, but you could almost feel the way it affected him, too. He'd let out soft sighs against your skin, drinking in your scent and your warmth, and then his kisses would almost get needier, craving you just as much as he made you crave him.

You gasped the minute he pressed himself closer to your clothed cunt, breathing in your scent yet again and then poking his tongue out at the wetness that had gathered in your center. Then from there, his movements became quick—his hands shifted beneath your hips, lifting them upwards towards him, your legs draped over his shoulders as he pushed your panties to the side. You couldn't help the way your mouth fell open with a drawn-out moan of his name once he ran his tongue through your folds, licking a wet stripe from your slit upwards.

Your fingers gripped desperately into his hair.

Such a simple motion already had you reeling.

"You even taste like fucking strawberries," he mumbled, before he repeated the motions, long, slow, languid licks that geadually turned to gentle lapping at your wetness. His tongue moved upwards to flick occasionally at your clit, and you could revel in the way he looked—so lost in your taste, his quiet groans reverberating through your body.

And then your thighs trembled around his head, and your eyes widened at the smooth, silky prodding of his tongue as it finally slid inside of you.

"O- oh, god," you leaned your head back against the armrest of his couch, your eyes falling shut once more.

You could have sworn you felt him smile.

With another moan, your hand fell from his head back onto the couch, searching for purchase only for him to reach out, taking advantage of the way you arched your back, and catch your hand with his.

He laced your fingers through together even as he continued to swirl his tongue in your heat, drinking up your arousal, pressing his face closer and closer into you—despite the obscenity of his ministrations and the noises that fell from your lips, the simple action of holding your hand almost made you swoon.

And he didn't dare let go of it.

"I— haah— Xavi—!"

Feeling a familiar knot form in your stomach, you began to languidly roll your hips against his face, matching the way his tongue would dance over and in your folds. In response, Xavier moved with fervor in his actions, focusing on sucking at your clit, flicking his tongue in ways he knew you loved best.

You barely noticed the way his other hand had also left its spot by your hips before a finger entered where his tongue had earlier been—he hooked it inwards, curling just right to hit your sensitive spot, and you let out another loud moan.

"Fuck—! X-Xavier!" You threw your head back, gripping his hand tightly, your other digging desperately into his couch. Your body writhed, a sharp rush of pleasure making you shudder and cry out more of his name as he continued to swirl around your clit, and another finger carefully prodded at your hole.

You couldn't see the way he smiled at you, but you felt it—felt it in the way he sucked on your bud, felt it in the way he stretched you out and moved his fingers in and out of you, until you snapped.

Your hips bucked upwards and into him, holding in place, as your body succumbed to the pleasure.

"X—Xavi—er!" You cried, and his hand holding yours made sweet, gentle caresses over your skin, his tongue still lapping up all that you had to give him. He let out a hum as he moved from your cunt, to your thighs, to your belly, and up to the exposed skin on your neck, leaving a loving trail of kisses, and then he rest his forehead against yours.

"Did that feel nice?" he whispered, lips meeting yours in quick, fond pecks, blue eyes nearly shimmering with how much affection he held for you.

It was more than nice, you thought, but you answered him with a kiss. And as he continued to kiss you back, Xavier edged his hand downwards, slowly, slowly, before the tip of his cock nudged against your entrance—

The contact made you gasp and arch upwards. "Xavi—?!"

"Nnh... Please, angel?" He sighed, nuzzling your nose, massaging your hand. "'M not done with you yet. You can give me more, right?"

You whimpered.

You could feel the sensitivity from your earlier orgasm, unsure if you could truly push yourself for another one. But his cockhead would dip in so... nicely. Xavier was teasing, testing you as he waited for your reply—

And you couldn't resist.

When you gave him a feeble nod, he smiled.

"That's my girl."

The praise made you shiver with delight as he pushed into you slowly, setting an unhurried place, his lips back onto your skin as he nibbled just over your collarbone.

"Ngh... Xavier..." you whined as he slid all the way into you and his teeth grazed your skin, the sting of his bite somewhat foreign, but not unwelcome. "T-tomorrow, we have a..."

"Wear a scarf," he mumbled, barely looking up at you before he shifted to suck on the area next to the mark he'd just made, his intentions with you very clear. In seconds, every roll of his hips against yours, coupled with the way he would bruise at your skin and leave visible evidence of your activities, had you throwing your head back with a moan.

"Mmf—fuck, Xavi," you gripped his body tightly against yours, feeling the way his cock would stretch your walls so perfectly.

"Mh? 'S it good?"

He angled his thrust right against the spongey spot in your walls, and you gasped, feeling the way he would smile against your neck.

It was clear affirmation for him, if your moans of his name didn't already give him enough of it—and despite the fact that you had already cum once, he was adamant on getting you to that high once more.

"Feels good for me, too," he groaned as his pace began to pick up, the faint sounds of skin slapping reaching your ears. Each stroke of his length moved with purpose, hitting that same spot over and over and over, your mouth falling open in whimpers and moans of his name.

"Ah— X- Xavier!" You bucked your hips to match his pace, his grip on you getting tighter, his breath hot and heavy against your neck.

Your eyes met, and you keened at the way his hair fell over his face, his eyes searching yours for something you couldn't name. "...You're so beautiful, angel," he breathed, nearly panting, his thrusts becoming quicker and more erratic.

And you could have thrown the words back at him, were you not so lost in your pleasure as you clenched around his cock, gripping his hand tightly in yours.

"C-close— Xavi—!"

You began panting, your vision hazy, as he rut his hips into yours.

"Mhm— almost there— angel— fuck—"

One final thrust had him collapsing onto your body, pulling your own release out of you as he spilled inside, his cock twitching within your walls as he came.

"Xavier..." you whined, reaching to wrap your arms around him, almost cradling him as he groaned into your skin. "Xavier, I..."

He hushed you with a sloppy kiss, and you could feel the way a significant amount of energy had seeped from his body as he gave you a tiny little smile.

"I love you too, angel," he mumbled, before he was sliding down your body once more, your eyes widening when he settled between your thighs yet again.

"H-huh? What are you—ah—!"

You shuddered and gasped at the contact of his tongue back on your folds, still sensitive as you pushed his cum out of you. But yet his eyes remained on yours, and he stuck out his tongue out to continue lapping at the mess he'd made in your cunt.

"Xavier!" you cried. "P-please, no more...!"

He shook his head slightly. "Shh, angel. Don't worry, relax. Just let me clean you up," he mumbled, taking a dollop of your fluids into his mouth, and then swallowing as you watched, your face flushing red.

There was a small, almost cheeky smile lifting the corners of his mouth when he raised his head slightly.

"It's better than candy."

⁺₊ / an: took a break from requests to get this up before we all get "unique aftertaste", bc this was mildly inspired by the trailer! <3 xavi with food play has been on my mind a lot, if it wasn't obvious yet...

© rose-tinted-kalopsia. all rights reserved. do not: steal, copy, repost, reupload, modify, or claim any of my works as your own, regardless of credit given. absolutely do not use my works for AI training and other related purposes.

[fractualized]

Today in "I know we bust on comics a lot around here but there are still plenty of comics worth your time," I think Robin Lives is off to a promising start!

Also, I have to say, I found myself comparing it to Three Jokers. For one thing, it seems like much more of an examination of trauma than Three Jokers was purported to be. For another, while Three Jokers had me doubting that Geoff Johns really read The Killing Joke, Robin Lives feels like JM DeMatteis gives a crap about what actually happened in "Death in the Family."

But my petty grudges aside, here's what I liked about Robin Lives #1, with lots of spoilers. (And images of child murder and such, obviously.)

Unless there are shenanigans later, Joker definitely dies on the very first page.

Falls at Bruce's feet. Aw. :(

So this presents to us an instant mystery! Was Bruce responsible? Or was it Jason? Someone else entirely? Looks like the answer will be in three more issues. For now, we flash back to the aftermath of Jason's near-death.

DeMatteis deals with Joker's infamous ambassadorship by simply… taking it away. Which is pretty funny to me.

"Honestly, we were coming off a pretty wild party when we made that decision. Who knows what we were thinking? Hahaha, no hard feelings, right— What's that gas??"

I should note the narration in the purple box, which starts before this scene. Halfway through the issue, we learn that this story is being narrated by Dr. Saraswati Dev (aka Sara), a trauma doctor that Bruce hires for Jason. As we read what happens in this deviation from canon, she examines how we should view people who do such terrible things when their own lives and actions are affected by mental illness, their own trauma, and so on. It's an admittedly blunt story-telling tactic, spelling out the nuance for the reader, but I don't mind it, and it tells us that this version of Jason's story won't end cleanly.

Sara also clearly knows much more about Batman and his sidekicks than the average civilian, which raises the question of how she gets so involved in their lives. I'm hoping it's not because she becomes a love interest… but then again if that's presented as one of Bruce's screwed up mistakes, that has potential!

Anyway, as reviewed in a previous post, Joker was uneasy about killing Jason from the start, and that doesn't change in this version. When Bruce rescues the Iranian representatives, Joker tries to downplay what he did.

Hee hee, "Batsy-boo."

Joker can't escape for long, though.

And I have to pause here to note that this scene is reminiscent of the climax in the "Going Sane" storyline, which DeMatteis also wrote.

[Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #68]

There are differences in the scenarios, of course, but the other thing about "Going Sane" is that Joker/Joseph repeatedly refers to the urge to return to his former self as drowning.

[Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #66]

So in Robin Lives, it adds an extra kick when Bruce overturns Joker's boat and then stands by as Joker drowns.

Oh god that feeling when your secret fears come to fruition

But don't worry!

This is all an interesting variation "Death in the Family." Then, in his grief, Bruce was constantly fluctuating on if he was going to kill Joker, and his eventual attempt was trapping Joker in a crashing helicopter. In Robin Lives, he seems ambivalent too, again engineering the circumstances for Joker to die but not being an entirely active participant, and also not angry at Clark for rescuing him. (Speaking of which, Clark sure as heck didn't rescue Joker from the original helicopter incident. I guess he's ambivalent in his own way!)

So Joker is returned to Arkham Asylum, where Bruce talks to the current director, Dr. Benjamin Stoner (who evidently really was the director at the time but also a literal agent of chaos??? OK I guess I'll keep that in mind). Stoner pushes back on Bruce's assessment of the Joker.

At the time, Bruce vanishes, but as we see in the narration when Bruce faildads hard with a recovering Jason, he later seems to reflect on Stoner's words along with Jason's.

Jason appears at the start of the issue in the hospital, but we finally get into it with him in the second half. He keeps withdrawing from Bruce and Alfred, so Dick appears to provide some emotional support.

The page already notes that, no, this chat is not going to be enough to get Jason back to baseline. But it's also darkly hilarious that Dick thought it would be, especially keeping in mind that the implication is that this is the only time Dick comes over, and it's after Jason has been listless for some time. It's almost like this whole family is bad at feelings.

But Bruce does finally hire a professional, our narrator.

Of course, Jason overhears their discussion and thinks Bruce is planning to send him away.

Ouch.

Jason decides to prove that he's totally fine, actually, by saving a gala from Scarecrow by himself. Did you guess that he gets hit with fear toxin? Because yeah, they always get hit with fear toxin!

Oh my god he just wanted his mom to save him 😭

OH GOD FOR A SECOND I FORGOT IT WAS FEAR TOXIN

I should take a second to jump back and note that Jason imagining Joker getting one right between the eyes, just like we saw at the start, feels like a solid indication that in the end, he will definitely be Joker's killer... but, well, you really don't know until it happens.

So Jason is out of commission, but before Scarecrow can kidnap him for interrogation, Batman finally shows up. Bruce beats the everloving crap out of Crane, obviously still consumed with anger about what happened in Ethiopia. The freaking cops have to ask him to stop.

And then the final page is just more of the saddest of sadtimes.

I do love that first narrative detail in the top panel. Bruce is feeling angry and guilty but also humiliated and ashamed. He knows Jason is a vulnerable kid who needs help, but as always, Jason also represents Bruce's personal failures. He couldn't get Jason to do exactly as he was told. He couldn't protect Jason from harm. He couldn't maintain the image of Batman as invulnerable, not with this terrified boy shaking on the ground. Bruce does not have control.

It's very human, and it's a key ingredient in whatever disaster is to come. Even if we didn't have Sara's final questions in the last two panels, we can already tell that Bruce is going to continue to make not-great choices.

I've already ordered #2, and I'm looking forward to reading what DeMatteis has in store in the next three issues. Barbara has to make an appearance, right? And she'd be a great candidate for the shooter...

[damagedintellect]

You can't just talk about that Atsushi x reader in discord and then not have it posted anywhere please feed the hungry readers, me I'm the hungry reader!....I'm sure you've figured out who I am but I don't need anyone else knowing I'm a furry

�� pfffft I mean you're right no one else needs to know you're a furry but bad news, your blorbos are not helping the furry allegations 😔 but I like omegaverse sooooo we're practically in the same boat if you will.

💌 I can drop a teaser since I decided to split it into two parts because writing 🍋 means I need to be in that headspace and oh boi am I too stressed lately!

Summary: Imagine if Atsushi had tiger tendencies that bleed into his everyday life as a result of accepting his ability. Now imagine it's say *checks notes* November-April.

Notes: Atsushi X reader, ADA reader, mutual pinning, heat/rut/mating cycles

Word count: 1,980 Part 1/2 [part 2 will be 🍋]

It was strange. You and Atsushi had been friends for a while, but as the winter months were coming to an end, you noticed he started being more protective of you. He had started unconsciously hovering over you in the office and would often offer to walk with you back to the dorms. You found it to be very sweet and endearing since you liked spending time with him, but a few days later, he accidentally growled at Dazai when the brunette put his hand on your shoulder. Atsushi looked mortified and fled the area with such haste he actually had a puff of dust follow him out. You've never seen him do that before. Turning to Dazai, he only laughed, humming to himself as if he knew why, but you were still baffled at what just happened to make him leave in such a hurry. The rest of the room brushed it off, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. If Atsushi wanted to talk about it, he'd bring it up on his own time, but he never did.

A few days later, you were pretty roughed up after returning from a mission. The moment Atsushi saw you, he pushed Kunikida out of the way and held you tight. He gingerly assessed your wounds, refusing to let anyone near you until Yosano cleared her throat, snapping him back to his senses. Once again, he bolted out of the room with a look of despair, leaving you mystified about what was going on. It seemed to click for everyone else, but you didn't have a clue what was going on. To be fair, you were still relatively new to the agency. You've only been with them for a handful of months, but they've already accepted you as family.

As Yosano was patching you up, she gave you a stern expression. "If he's making you uncomfortable, I can tell him to cut it out." You could feel your cheeks slightly heat up thinking about everything Atsushi’s done over the past few weeks. That has to be what she was referring to, right? You stuttered, trying to figure out what to say. "N-no, it's not that he's making me uncomfortable, i-it's just that I," you paused briefly. The moment you joined the agency, you knew you were doomed once you were formally introduced to Atsushi. He was just so friendly and caring it felt natural that you were drawn to the tiger boy. Over the past few months, you realized that you started developing a crush on him. Inside you were eating up all of this new seemingly possessive behavior, but the way he was running away immediately afterwards was concerning. You sighed almost defeated.

Yosano chuckled darkly "Oh I get it you like-" You immediately put your hands over her mouth. "Shhhh don't say it out loud! I'll never hear the end of it if Dazai were to hear."

As if on cue Dazai had burst through the door smugly "Never hear the end of it if I heard what?" You rolled your eyes at him. Yosano ignored the nosey idiot and delicately grabbed your hands "All I'm saying is you should tell him before April hits. It'd actually be easier on all of us."

Dazai gave you a smirk that already says he put together your secret. You frowned as you pulled him out of the infirmary. He was amused by your irritation but didn't say anything directly. You glanced back to Atsushi’s empty desk before setting your head down on yours. Confessing was going to be easier said than done.

Over the next week you would fail to confess your feelings for him. Part of it was because the words had a hard time leaving your mouth, to which Dazai would playfully mock "What cat got your tongue?" Other times Atsushi would scamper away after "overstepping" and he was too fast for you to get a word out edgewise. Sometimes multiple inconveniences would occur causing a series of unfortunate events. Needless to say you tried but didn't end up confessing. You were fine staying friends even if his random exits were starting to get to you. Was he scared of you? Were you making him uncomfortable?

You were walking past his desk to put a stack of paper on Dazai’s when he pulled you into his chair and shoved his face into the crook of your neck. You’re glad most people were out on a case today because the noise you involuntarily made was embarrassing. Kunikida was unbothered, too enthralled with his work to glance in your direction. Atsushi hummed, smiling against your neck as he took in a deep breath. The sensation caused you to shudder as he loosened his grip slightly pressing primarily his forehead to your skin. He felt hot.

"Hey, Atsushi? Are you feeling okay?" You asked shifting in his lap to look him in the eyes. His pupils were blown wide and he seemed kind of out of it. "Now that you mention it, it's a little warm in here." He seemed pretty dazed.

You brushed the bangs off of his forehead to press yours to his. "You should go see Yosano, I think you're running a fever." You stood up but he was still stunned by how you invaded his personal space a moment ago. You swear you could hear a soft purr come from him. After a beat he slowly made his way to the infirmary. Kunikida watched him almost stumble out of the room raising his eyebrow at you causing you to shrug in response. What was there to say, he wasn’t feeling well.

In the doctor's office Yosano sighed "It's that time of year again Atsushi, it's going to happen whether you like it or not." She looked at the thermometer and sure enough he was running a fever which means he's about to start his "mating cycle"

"It still doesn't make sense to me. Why am I the only one who has weird side effects of my ability!" Atsushi rolled his eyes slouching in his chair. You've been driving him crazy for weeks now. He can sense when you're near just by your scent and he keeps itching to be as close to you as possible. He knows he had a crush on you but recently it's been getting worse and the tiger has been acting on it without his permission.

"I wouldn't say that exactly, I mean just look at Dazai. The only difference is none of us have animalistic tendencies." Yosano pulled out some pills to help Atsushi for the week he's about to endure. She made them specifically after last year's cycle when the tiger went berserk. Which reminded her "Did you ever have that talk with (Y/N)?"

Atsushi hid his face in his hands. "No…I couldn't do it."

"Of course you didn’t," she huffed knowing it was a lost cause at this point. "You both are helpless."

Atsushi perked up suspiciously at her words "What’s that supposed to mean?"

She handed him the pills "It doesn't matter. Just go home, keep your door locked and take these. Dazai will come check on you in a few hours once he gets back." Yosano shooed him away to make another set of medications. Atsushi wasn't convinced she wasn't up to something.

The door opened while your back was turned so you didn't see Atsushi leave but you definitely felt a pair of eyes linger on your frame as he left. You sighed as you handed Kunikida your reports. He cleared his throat seeing you slump "It's not my place to say but if you're worried about him why don't you make him some of that famous soup you're always talking about. I'm sure that will help him make a swift recovery." Kunikida would rather stay out of it but after witnessing just how dense you and Atsushi really are, he figured a small nudge in the right direction couldn’t hurt. Otherwise he might have to deal with another of his colleagues moping at work and it's bad enough Dazai pesters him to no end.

You smiled wide "You're right! Thank you Mr. Kunikida, that's a great idea!" You hastily gathered your things and rushed out before you could hear the rest of Kunikida's suggestion. He was going to say don’t deliver it alone but he's sure someone will manage to stop you before you can do anything too reckless. He simply pushed up his glasses and continued his work. It wasn’t his fault the two of you couldn’t talk about your feelings like normal adults.

You on the other hand hit the market before going back to your dorm to make the famous soup. Kenji was always talking about how in his village they had a cure all soup and he showed you how to make it. Although not everyone was around to try it at the time. Atsushi was one of those people, but now was the perfect opportunity for it! You wasted no time at all packaging it up in a nice thermos, heading over to his room.

You stood in front of his door with your hand ready to knock when you were pulled inside and pinned against the door. Atsushi was visibly panting as his eyes focused on yours. It was strange since when were his eyes blue? You thought they were a mix of purple and yellow.

"I smelled you coming up the stairs." He rested his head on your shoulder "You shouldn't be here. Not when I'm like this." He was already in his sleepwear and his hair was disheveled more than normal. It looked like he just woke up from a nap or something.

You swallowed hard. It was now or never. "I don't mind, you know. I came here to help make you feel better anyhow." You lifted up the soup you made. Hopefully he likes it. This would be the first time Atsushi would be eating your cooking. The thought made you feel warm inside.

Atsushi's mind was flustered as he misunderstood what you came here for. "I can't ask that of you-" Sure he’s had fantasies about this situation but he never thought they'd come true. Recently you've been the center of all his "mating" daydreams. You always looked so cute under him and the prospect of you wanting to be intimate with him was crashing his train of thought.

Meanwhile you still thought he was feeling under the weather. "Good thing you didn't ask then." You cut him off leaning forward to pull him in your embrace. You know he's never truly had anyone to lean on in the past. You want to be that person for him. "I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. I've always seen you as more than a friend, Atsushi."

His eyes widened as he nuzzled into you. If this was a dream he hoped he never woke up. "I like you as more than a friend too." He sighed contently into your neck. You smelled so good to him it was making him dizzy. "Do you mind if we cuddle?" He was nervous, you could tell but you both already admitted to liking each other and you've never turned down an excuse to hug your favorite tiger boy before. You giggled at his hesitancy. He was being clingy and cute. How could you say no to him?

"I'd love to."

You put the soup down on the counter before Atsushi pulled you into his little pile of blankets. It was extremely comfortable and warm. You slotted so perfectly together like a puzzle. It was the absolute perfect setting for both of you to fall asleep in each other's arms, completely unaware of the misunderstanding that was waiting for you when you woke up.

[Part 2 ...coming soon]

[kissygigi]

Erm really short 🤕 — reader referred to as "you"

You’re pretty sure you saw a child roaming around the plex while you were making your way back to Bonnie Bowl in a bit of a sprint, but at the moment you felt like you not getting caught was more important than helping the kid out. You just wished him luck internally — you both were probably in the same boat.

Luckily, the staff bots didn’t pay much mind to you as you rushed to the 'STAFF ONLY' room at the end of the bowling alleys in the corner.

Finding parts in the back rooms of the plex was surprisingly easy. The technicians didn’t seem to know what it meant to pick up after themselves but you were actually thankful for that right now as you returned to your first and hopefully last project: Fixing up Bonnie who you had somehow found in the low levels of the plex which you had 'accidentally' stumbled on.

You were by no means a mechanic, and if there were any mechanics in your family you sure as hell didn’t pick anything up from them. However, by using your phone and the wifi of the plex you managed to search up tutorials that surely wouldn’t bite you back in the ass later.

You tried looking around for any notes left by the technicians as well, but you couldn’t find much unfortunately.

Still, you worked what you had and after some long grueling hours (how was it not 6AM yet??) you managed to at least get Bonnie to communicating condition. It felt like hell had been lifted off your shoulders as his eyes flickered to life and his body twitched.

"What happened?" Were the first words to leave him as he looked at his hands and then around the area. The soft whirring of his system filled the void of silence as you nervously stared at him wordlessly.

Soon enough his vision focused on you and you tensed for a few seconds. "Hi.." you murmured, waving stiffly. Bonnie tried his best to scan you, but he struggled to do so as the ray flickered with instability. "Who.. are you? Why are you here? It’s not safe.."

His tone was nothing but worried. Worried for your safety even though he was the one that looked two seconds from falling apart.

"I’m [Name]…" you trail off, not really putting much effort into your introduction. "Look, I’m just here waiting for 6AM to come and the plex doors open so I can go." A sigh leaves your lips and you hold your elbow with your opposite hand. "What were you doing down there?" You asked the bunny animatronic, tilting your head.

Bonnie tilted his head, the same as you, as best as he could. "Down where?" He asked, and before you knew it he was glitching out again. You panicked as you tried to figure out what was wrong, inspecting all the wiring.

"What’s wrong?! What’s going on?!" You exclaimed, hands practically flailing about. The glitched noises from his voice box were all you got as he began to shut down. You groaned.

This was going to take forever.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Migration

You know, for a while, I thought Luka was one of the smartest characters in the show, and the fact that he's hightailing it out of Paris in this episode only continues to prove my point.

Let's get into the thirteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Migration

We start off with Marinette running over to the Liberty (with her friends laughing behind her back like the supportive people they are) and tries to talk with Luka about her relationship with Adrien once they're in private. Luka is pretty supportive, and it's a nice scene. Marinette then bumps into Adrien, who also wants to talk with Luka, and while the two try to get unstuck, we get a nice visual of Luka seeing the two as Ladybug and Cat Noir, which is there to remind the audience that he's known who both of them are ever since “Wishmaker”.

Adrien then talks to Luka about how he's worried something is keeping Marinette from being honest about her feelings. Luka gives him some advice on how just because he doesn't know everything about Marinette, it doesn't make her feelings for him less valid, and vice versa.

After Adrien leaves, we get an appearance from everyone's favorite deadbeat dad, Jagged Stone. He asks Luka how he can be a better father like he didn't miss years of child support, but all Luka really says is that he needs to spend time with his damn family. Of course, what I like about this scene is that it avoids the usual narrative pitfall of trying to say that Jagged and Anarka, Luka's mom, should get back together, and instead shows Jagged developing feelings for his agent, Penny.

Speaking of, after Jagged leaves, Penny comes in to come to Luka for advice. Okay, is Luka just the Dr. Phil of this show's universe? Penny talks to Luka about her sudden feelings for Jagged Stone.

Penny: No, I don't know why I'm in love with your father. He's disorganized, childish, selfish, and musically speaking, he's no David Bowie. Truth be told, your dad's a walking disaster. So why do I love him?

Luka: Does he make you happy, Penny?

Penny: Yeah. I just can't figure out why!

It's almost like this show will randomly pair people up at the drop of a hat. But hey, at least Luka hasn't asked if Kagami is single yet.

Before Penny leaves, Bob Roth, Jagged's producer, demands to know where he is, as he needs to record a new album. Bob learns that Jagged had children with Anarka (ignoring the potential scandal it could create), so Anarka promptly throws him out of the boat in a scene that I'm pretty sure is meant to be a reference to that one running gag from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Either way, Jazz's scream was funnier.

Kitty Section then practices their latest song about how you don't have to be rich, because even the songs in this show aren't exactly subtle with their messages. Bob somehow gets back on the Liberty completely dry, and offers the band a contract.

Bob: How would you like to sign a contract with me?

Luka: Actually, Bob, you already offered to sign us... Marinette: And you never followed up. Did you forget?

Bob: Huh? Uh... of course! I remember! I was just waiting for the right reason—uh, I mean, the right time! I was waiting for the right time to have you guys sign the contract!

My God, even the characters in this show want to forget it used to have good episodes.

Anarka throws Bob off again, where she and Luka talk about how everyone deserves a second chance and that change is possible.

Yeah, funny how that message almost never came up with Chloe, Lila, and Felix last season, isn't it? And given that they're going to use Bob as an example of this lesson, I don't think it's going to be a positive one. So right after Luka generously decided to give Bob a second chance, Bob offers them a new contract to sign... and as soon as he does, he screws them all over thanks to a lot of fine print they didn't stop to read.

Ivan: He can fire us whenever he wants?

Bob: Yep, and I just did, by the way.

Rose: The name Kitty Section belongs to him?!

Bob: Yep. It’s ugly, but it’s mine. Marinette: He owns everything you’ve made and will make over the next thousand years!? Bob: Gotta cover all bases.

Zoe: Marinette's costumes, the music video Nino shot, the website Mylene runs...

Bob: All mine!

Adrien: And you can’t even start another band together?

Bob: Course not, that’d be unfair competition! EVERYTHING belongs to me! Everything you are, everything you say, everything that’s in your hearts belongs to me!

See, kids? This is why you should never trust bad people. It doesn't matter if they say they want to improve. They just want to trick you and ruin your life, so if you're ever wronged by anyone, that person is never able to redeem themselves, especially if they're rich. As we all know, rich people are far worse than insane supervillains who want to rewrite reality. Just ask the biggest monster in the show, Chloe Bourgeois.

So yeah, Luka's optimism being taken advantage of is enough to attract the attention of Monarch, who attempts to akumatize him into Silencer again. Monarch realizes that Luka knows Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities (why he didn't think to look into it, given Viperion's powers, is left unanswered), and angrily smashes his guitar to free himself of Monarch's influence.

So not only did he stop himself from getting akumatized, he's also one step closer to becoming a true rock star.

Somehow, Bob thinks only keeping Luka on board would mean he wouldn't hate him, but Luka isn't buying it. Bob is shocked that Luka wouldn't want to work for an asshole like him as Luka tears the contract in half, but Bob has backups. Monarch decides to settle on Bob instead, akumatizing him into Gold Record.

Gold Record's design is... okay. It's still better than Sole Destroyer, and it's definitely better than Moolak. The gold coloring looks nice, and the euro symbol on the record is a nice visual. His powers are pretty much just a combination of Pixelator, the Collector, and Truth's powers, transforming people into records who sing their true feelings while using the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to throw the records into space. Nothing too original there, but it's a good metaphor for sleazy music producers, and it works for this story.

Rose and Anarka are the first of Gold Record's victims, and in a hurry, Luka lets Adrien know he knows he's Cat Noir, giving him a place to hide. Just as Juleka is hit by Gold Record, Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene. While Cat Noir holds off Gold Record, Ladybug tries to come up with a plan.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, getting a knitting needle. She realizes her plan will need to involve using Luka as bait. Luka is forced to reveal that he knows who Ladybug and Cat Noir are, and what will happen if Gold Record gets him, setting up a tough choice that will force Ladybug to rethink her plan... and then the next scene happens, where Luka lets himself get hit, where Ladybug manages send Gold Record's record flying with a makeshift bow and arrow created from the knitting needle and a nearby fiddle, which Cat Noir immediately Cataclysms.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and gives Bob Roth a Magical Charm that even he knows is useless at this point. Ladybug and Cat Noir decide to call it a day and let Anarka throw Bob Roth out again.

Luka reveals that he knows Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities (because once again, sharing that information with your friends is totally fine for some reason), and that he can't stay in Paris. After revealing that he had Fang eat all of Bob's contracts so Luka isn't bound by them anymore, Jagged offers to take Luka around the world to finally make up for years of absence while Luka makes Juleka the new leader of Kitty Section. And so the episode ends with the Couffaine family sharing a hug while Luka gives one last look to his friends Marinette and Adrien.

This episode was just average, all things considered. The plot and the lesson it was setting out to teach, while not terrible, felt a little tacked on. It was if the writers were trying to acknowledge the stuff that happened with Chloe and wanted to show an example of redemption arc done right in the case of Jagged. It falls flat because once again, more focus is given to showing how easy it is to be screwed over trusting someone than showing the benefits to trusting someone, especially since Bob is already an outlandish villain we already have a lot of reasons to hate.

I'm also mixed on the handling of Luka here. While I'm glad Marinette isn't being forced to learn a lesson here, I don't get why Luka had to be the one to be taken advantage of. He's already aware of how easy it is for Monarch to learn his secrets, so it feels weird that he lets himself and his friends get taken advantage of so easily. Outside of the scene with Ladybug's Lucky Charm, I don't get why he needed to tell the others the stuff he knew. I can sort of see why he'd tell Adrien, but why would he think telling his friends he knows who Ladybug and Cat Noir are wouldn't endanger them too?

Speaking of that, despite being established for almost an entire season, we really don't see enough of Marinette and Adrien reacting to Luka revealing that he knows who they are. Marinette only gets a few lines, and Adrien doesn't even get to say anything. While I am glad that Marinette and Adrien aren't dominating the plot for once, it feels weird that we don't get to see their reactions to something so shocking, especially with how often the identity rule has been enforced.

On the other hand, the writing is still handled a lot better than usual. I like how Monarch chooses to change his strategy to focus on Luka halfway through the episode, and the idea of the risk using Luka for Ladybug's plan brings is an interesting one, even if they don't really go anywhere with it. The running gag with Bob constantly getting thrown off the Liberty is a funny one, and it proves you can actually write slapstick that doesn't involve humiliating Marinette. Who knew?

As a whole, while I think this is the best episode of the season so far, this episode still has its fair share of problems.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... LUKA

Not counting the time Marinette got the award in my review of the Shanghai Special, we have the first character this season to get the Biggest Idiot Award twice. For someone who is usually smarter than the other characters, Luka made quite a few bad choices this episode. He decided to trust Bob Roth after he screwed him and his friends over in “Silencer”, he didn't think to read the contract he was offered, and after being endangered by what Monarch knows now, he decided to tell his friends and family that he knows who Ladybug and Cat Noir are, potentially putting them all in danger too. Yeah, the next few episodes will probably just ignore it, but there's always a chance Monarch could try another Optigami, even if he doesn't have the Peacock Miraculous anymore.

And with that, I'm officially done with the first half of Season 5. What do I think of it? Well, I think Immortan Joe said it best:

Yeah, this season was pretty boring, all things considered. To be perfectly honest, I struggled here more than I did last season because I wasn't sure what to say about half of the episodes I watched. There was almost nothing of substance these past thirteen episodes, and I could barely say anything other than “this episode is okay” or “this episode is bad”. Whenever I had ideas, they were usually extensions to things I've already talked about, like the Marinette angst, the historical and cultural inaccuracies, and the villains genuinely being incompetent. If you showed someone a few episodes of Season 1 and this season, outside of Monarch's new appearance, it'd be pretty hard for them to tell the difference.

But hey, maybe things will pick up in the second half of the season. Hell, maybe the next episode will be even better than this one, and... huh. Does anyone else hear an ominous whistling in the background?

[loonarii]

Ari's K-Pop Roundup: June 2024 (LISA, Red Velvet, NAYEON, NewJeans, KATSEYE, CHUU + MORE)

Hope everyone had a nice pride month - I unfortunately was chained to my textbooks for the brunt of it and didn't do anything pride related, but I did see Taylor Swift, so I guess it wasn't all bad. This is the 5th installment of this series - genuinely didn't think I would make it this far - you can check out last month's roundup here, or see my full masterlist here. Enjoy :)

ROCKSTAR - LISA (BLACKPINK)

It's very rare that we see a kpop idol's pure, unadulterated vision for the music they release due to the manufactured, consumerist nature of the industry, but here we have Lisa, arguably the most popular female kpop idol of all time (at least internationally) free from the company that is widely known for formulaic, repetitive music. Will she stick with the brand YG has created for her and reinforce the box Teddy has placed her in sonically, or will she forge her own way?

Right from the teasers, I knew we were in for something a little different. Although conceptually the chrome, futuristic vibe is nothing new in kpop, seeing Lisa without those god forsaken white washing filters was very exciting. And the fact that k-netizens are taking to it very well?? Lisa is here to rock the boat. 'Rockstar' is only a single with no mini album, but hey, it's Lisa, meaning she doesn't need to boost the length of her releases to snatch those extra sales, she do well commercially regardless. Usually a single album would annoy me, but BLACKPINK are back to releasing music, so today I will let it slide.

With a Kendrick Lamar 'Humble' visual reference in the music video, a Tame Impala sample, and a sneaky little writing credit, Lisa clearly wants to reshape her framing in the industry - with 'Rockstar' she's rejecting the somewhat diminishing 'idol rapper' status, and seeking that 'rapper rapper' reputation. She wants to sit at the table with Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion, and 'Rockstar', in my opinion, does a decent job at securing her seat.

You can't reference Kendrick and not put in a double entendre in your lyrics, and Lisa (and her fellow writers) delivered in that category with quite a lot of success actually. In the line 'been MIA, BKK so pretty, Every city I go to is my city' 'MIA' is used to mean either 'missing in action', referencing how absent Blackpink has been from the music industry thanks to YG's interesting management choices, or as a reference to the Miami IATA airport code just as BKK means Bangkok, Thailand - in this context its an allusion to Lisa's multilingualism and her international influence as a member of Blackpink. It's a really good line, is what I'm trying to say.

Most of the issues I have with 'Rockstar' stem from the songs length. With the base track clocking in at 2 minutes 18 seconds (oh my god what have we come to), the song feels like it's just begun when it's all over. Excluding the choruses, hooks, and pre-choruses, and pasting what remains together, we are left with one singular, honestly quite short verse. Yeah it's a pretty good verse, both in flow and lyrical content, but one verse in what is clearly trying to be a rap song is unacceptable.

'Rockstar' is frustrating to me because while it has its genuinely great moments, like when 'lala' is used in reference to singing and to Lisa's real name when bounced onto the next line, a lot of that greatness gets eclipsed by the track's shortcomings (pun somewhat intended). However, although she's done solo work before in YG this is undoubtedly something of a debut, and through that lens, while it is flawed, the track shows potential. 'Rockstar' knows exactly what kind of song it wants to be, and even though it doesn't quite measure up, it's still a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to see what Lisa does next with her career. At the very least, 'Rockstar' was fun, for sure.

Cosmic - Red Velvet (Cosmic)

When I write these reviews, I try to describe the feelings and emotions and energies the song in question evokes, and I have found that when I struggle, the song is good - and I mean exceptionally good. 'Cosmic' is one such track - I fucking love every part of it - it's so addictive to the ninth degree, from that gorgeous music video to the low and slow verses to that utterly euphoric chorus. From Joy's slightly psychotic edge to her lines that she perfected in the 'Peekaboo' era, to Seulgi's vocals in the hook, and Wendy's high note pulling us into that final chorus; everything about 'Cosmic' WORKS. Lines like 'I'm riding on your rhythm through the solar system' and 'love is cosmic' work both in their catchiness and emotiveness. This era is obviously inspired heavily by the 2019's 'Midsommar', a visual feast of a horror film about a disturbing Scandinavian cult, and let me tell you, if 'Cosmic' is a cult, consider me initiated. Not to spoil my end of 2024 ranking or anything, but as for right now, 'Cosmic' is taking the cake for the best kpop song of the year, no questions asked.

Red Velvet b-sides always hit, and the 'Cosmic' mini album delivers as expected. 'Sunflower' furthers that 'i just took an edible and i found my way onto Spotify' energy, and that hook of 'OOH WOW FEELING SO FUN FUN FEELING SO FUNNY' is hilariously good, this is a standout for sure. The other b-side I want to highlight is 'Night Drive', the album closer. With elements of citypop and 80s synthpop, 'Night Drive' feels like exactly that - a 3am drive around a city you hardly know with people you know better than yourself. It's a celebration of music, and that's putting it lightly.

SM might be working up to shunting Red Velvet into their peripheral vision, what with the new 12 member girl group debuting soon, but 'Cosmic' proves their legend status once and for all. We freaking love you RV, never change. (And I would in fact join a cult if Seulgi was my fearless leader xx)

ABCD - NAYEON (NA)

Look, JYP may be my op until the day I die, but I'm not going to sit here and lie - he knows how to write hits when he wants to, and 'ABCD' is a HIT.

2022's 'POP!' was just that - pure, unadulterated pop music, exactly what was trending in Korea at the time - the image of modern kpop. And don't get me wrong, I loved it, but when it came for Nayeon's first comeback, I was worried she was again going to pull from the current trend cycle, and right now that means airy, Pinkpantheress type beats with a UK garage adjacent vibe - and that's not Nayeon. Her voice is full and powerful and rich in colour and flavour, a song like that just wouldn't work for her. I was nervous, for sure, but when the teaser dropped, I knew it was going to be good. In 'ABCD' Nayeon is rejecting the trend cycle almost entirely - it still flaunts that 00s vibe unabashedly, but here we are pulling from a trumpet fueled 'Crazy In Love' Beyoncé energy, and oh boy does it work. The lyricism in this song goes crazy, that chorus is masterfully written and unbelievably catchy, and that post chorus build up is INSANE. Nayeon's range is on full display here, and she sounds incredible.

The rest of the mini album is pretty amazing too. 'Butterflies' has some super interesting vocal layering, and many great moments like 'a little mental picture, every time I'm with ya' - and although it's pretty clear this was supposed to be a TWICE track once upon a time, with Nayeon even appearing to imitate the members' styles of delivery (it's like I can hear Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung on this track clear as day) it's still an easy hit that I can't help but love. 'Heaven' doesn't quite work for me, it's not unlistenable, but the feeling that it has simultaneously too much and not enough energy perserveres, unfortunately. 'Magic', the song that my girl Julie features on is pop perfection, and these girls work so well together - Julie's interjections are so catchy and her parts steal the show entirely. 'Magic' is a bonafide hit. 'HalliGalli' is very AKMU (as to be expected), but I can't help but feel like it's a little immature, both for Nayeon and this album. It has some fun elements, but the complete track just isn't it for me. 'Something' is a fun pop song, if a little dull at moments, but that post chorus is a stunner. 'Count It' brings down the tempo of the album a little, in a groovy track with some beautiful vocal production - it's exactly the punch up the tracklist needed after the weaker couple of tracks that precede it.

Nayeon is my blog namesake, and she has done me proud on this album. Yes, some tracks were on the weaker side, but the overall product is strong, with Nayeon's oustanding performance on every track, and a killer title song in 'ABCD'. In terms of other TWICE members getting solos, I would love to see how Sana approached a song on her own, or even Tzuyu, who despite being the maknae and visual, tends to get lost in the sauce of a lot of TWICE releases. We will have to see, I suppose.

Right Now + Supernatural - NewJeans

God, I sound like a stuck record every time NewJeans drops some new music, but holy hell is it always good. Following their 2nd single album 'How Sweet' earlier this year, the girls are dipping their toes into the Japanese market for the first time with two tracks - 'Supernatural' and 'Right Now'. NewJeans have captured the attention of all of South Korea pretty much, it's now time to look further afield.

'Right Now', drenched in sassy lilting vocal runs, is bedroom pop at it's finest. The up-and-down choral melodies evoke the energy of a 2am gossip debrief at a sleepover with your best friends. The dichotomy of Minji's languid repetition of 'I don't care' with a chorus that speedy and spirited is humorous and perfectly captures what it is to be a teenage girl with a crush. NewJeans know who their audience is, and are making music directly for that.

'Supernatural' came next, embracing that New Jack Swing sound wholeheartedly - its very 'early 00s street dance movie'. It's quite a bit more mature than 'Right Now', the girls decorating those gorgeous synths and groovy instrumentation with a genuine collected confidence. As always, it pushes the boundaries of the y2k trend and thematically pulls from the era itself, not other people's recent interpretations of the era. It's experimental for NewJeans I think, which works for a debut, and while it takes a lot of the right risks, and makes a lot of the right choices, the chorus leaves a little something to be desired. The melody and hooks are perfect, I have no issues with them, but the vocal direction needs tweaking. A song like this demands a chant style chorus with all the members in my opinion, and while the vocal layering of the individual members singing attempts that anthemic feel, it comes off as slightly limp-fisted. I'm kind of dramatizing this issue because to be frank, it is rare I find something in a NewJeans track that I can pinpoint as a problem. The song is still of a supremely high caliber, and to be honest, any thinness in the chorus vocals just inspires the listener to fill in the gaps themselves with an impromptu karaoke session.

Lyrically, both 'Right Now' and 'Supernatural' break the kpop-takes-on-the-Japanese-market formula by including not only a blend of Japanese and English lyrics, but some Korean lines too. I find it quite clever, like saying 'this is NewJeans' debut in Japan, but they will always be a korean pop group first and foremost'. While some groups like Girls' Generation and Twice find their discographies split into 2 - kpop and jpop, NewJeans are clearly making an effort to unite both markets under 1 discography.

As a debut, this works. Two tracks united by classic NewJeans production and differentiated by themes and tone. It's really been a rough year for these girls, what with the whole Min Heejin vs HYBE drama and with Hyein's injury leaving her out of promotions for both single albums altogether, but there's a light at the end of this tunnel, and as long as the music stays consistently high quality as it has been, I will have no complaints.

(sidenote: the fact that I wasn't at Bunnies Camp in the Tokyo Dome is a little sick and twisted.)

Debut - KATSEYE

I mean, maybe expectations were unrealistically high since KATSEYE is HYBE's first real stab at the western market, but come on, we all deserved better than this. A half-hearted pop song that fails to innovate in every sense of the word, and they have the audacity to not even make it three minutes. IT'S BARELY EVEN TWO MINUTES. Kpop companies pulling from PinkPantheress constantly is truly a double edged sword, on one hand we get fucking incredible songs like 'LOOP' and 'Super Shy', and then on the other we get every kpop company waking up and deciding that actually it's totally okay to release 2 minute songs and act like it's a completed product. As a British girl, seeing the effects of the recession and the cost of living crisis on the people around me in real time is one thing, but seeing fucking SHRINKFLATION weed its way into pop music as well is like the burning cherry on top of my cesspit sundae.

I genuinely don't know what happened in the production of this song, like they got Ryan Tedder, who has contributed so much great music to this world, and then somehow the end product was so dull and uninspired.

The worst part is these girls are absurdly talented and they are getting served dirt. HYBE - that mini album coming later this year better be good istg. Ok, I'm done ranting.

BUT OH MY GOD TWO MINUTES AND THREE FUCKING SE-

Strawberry Rush - CHUU (Strawberry Rush)

(obligatory note: if you want to stream Chuu's old solo tracks, or any other old loona songs, please stream via the loona podcast or the twelveM account on spotify in accordance with the boycott)

Having the LOONA girls free from that cesspit of a company is one thing, but getting new LOONA music this often is certainly an unprecedented win for me.

Following her re-debut under ATRP in late 2023 with 'Howl', Chuu is back for her first comeback with 'Strawberry Rush'; a mini album drenched in electric pink and cherry red and sunny yellow. Chuu has an innately magnetic quality and Strawberry Rush as a title track takes full advantage of that. It's an utterly adorable song that I genuinely can't imagine anyone not loving. That disco synth thrumming the song's heartbeat is reinforced with a killer baseline, and Chuu's gorgeous vocal colour gives the track even more energy than it already has. The intro and opening are perfect at punching up the mood and setting the scene for the chorus, but it's when Chuu comes in with 'packing that heat, packing that heat, packing that PEW PEW PEW' that the song truly swings into motion and you know that this is going to be a fun one.

The mini album doesn't quite match the energy of it's title track, with it maintaining a more relaxed vibe, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. 'Honeybee' is an acoustic track decorated in summer daisy chains and buttercup bouquets, and it works wonderfully with Chuu's more airy vocals. 'Daydreamer' follows a similar sonic theme to 'Honeybee' but with a more late night nap with the cicadas vibe - Chuu's ability to switch between powerful, call-to-action vocals in 'Strawberry Rush' and featherweight tones in the b-sides is truly commendable. 'Lucid Dream' comes next, a perfect midpoint between 'Strawberry Rush' and 'Daydreamer', heartfelt and addictive. It's a real stand out on the album for sure. 'Chocolate' was released as a single a while back, and I enjoyed it then absolutely, but it makes so much more sense on this album - somehow it just got even more catchy.

Effortlessly adorable, effortlessly catchy, effortlessly perfect - Chuu, you have done it again.

MINI REVIEWS:

Boom Boom Bass - RIIZE: absolutely no notes, im obsessed. I've literally never loved a boy groups music like this before. wow.

Inner Dance - tripleS Glow: tripleS' ability to establish their own sound and musical motifs so early on in their career has served them very well, and 'Inner Dance' shows that clearly. Light and casual and airy, it's the perfect backtrack to your summer break.

Summer Festa - IVE: I usually don't dignify these type of advertisement songs with a review, but this one is actually kind of a bop. A little bit 'Espresso' coded; it's something fun for the summer that inadvertently encourages getting blackout drunk at the hotel bar in Bali. I'm still not drinking Pepsi though. Or Coca Cola for that matter, NewJeans pipe down.

BADVILLAIN - BADVILLAIN: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) Although apparently capturing the eyes and ears of seemingly the entire kpop community, this one wasn't hugely to my liking. This might be controversial but my first impression was in fact 'wow this sounds like something babymonster would release' - I can see the appeal but unfortunately these songs just aren't meant for me. I do enjoy the classical influenced production and for the most part the vocal performances were fun too, but with the hook I wish they had bumped up the high note at the end of 'villain' another octave - that's such a nitpick I know but the thought struck me immediately when I heard it. '+82' on the other hand impressed me immensely, such a powerful, call-to-action type song. That background production is a killer, and perhaps I just have Kendrick on the brain from my Lisa review, but the beat feels somewhat along those lines. And holy fuck can these girls dance - wow.

Sabotage - Kwon Eunbi: Can Eunbi release a flop title track? Turns out, once again, no she can't. I love 'Sabotage', it's so hilarious and catchy, and singing along feels like accusing an imaginary boyfriend of gaslighting lol. Woollim giving this song to Eunbi feels a little ironic, considering since she left IZ*ONE, it seems all they've done to her career is sabotage her with poor promotions. The song is fun, and Eunbi sounds excellent as always, with 'Sabotage' boasting many a vocal riff, especially following the bridge. Give this one a listen, and whilst you're there, go check out the rest of my girl's discography, she's truly a hidden gem.

[whumping-valentine]

Continuation of that short Sailor Whumpee Lighthouse Keeper Whumper thing I wrote last month. Will tag as "Sailor Whumpee" Also I guess Whumpee is trans and uses he/they pronouns.

"The Docks aren't the friendliest of places, you know." The Lighthouse keeper warned the sailor about to leave. It was the day after their shipwreck, and out of all the many sea travelers he's seen, never has the old keeper encountered one quite like this. Already so eager to leave despite their condition.

Whumpee stopped in their tracks, hand on the cold iron doorknob. They turned around, "What do you mean by that?"

"What else is there to mean? The pirates in town are rough and tumble, and I'm just not so sure they'll take too kindly to the bruised, washed-up sailor." Whumper closed their eyes, taking a slow sip of their tea. "Mm. Besides, they all know about you. The Boy in the Boat, they called you. Found your little pathetic board smashed out on the rocks. Not much of a boat now, is it?"

"So you pull me in off the shores just to insult me?"

"Yeah, pretty much." A sly smile appeared on Whumper's face. "People often find my hospitality comes with a price. But hey! I pulled you off the shores, bandaged your wounds, and gave you a place to stay. Though I know sailors don't take too kindly to badmouthing their ships— even if she is nothing more than plywood now."

Whumpee rolled their eyes, "Well, thanks for saving me, but our short paths end here. You can quit your yapping."

"Farewell. But there is one thing you should know—"

Whumpee opened the door, and was greeted to a horrendous downpour, and a perfect strike of lightning.

Whumper smiled, "Welcome to The Docks!"

~~~ Continued ↓ ~~~

Whumper was surprised when Whumpee actually went out into the storm, with no hesitation, at that. Suppose that kind of stupidity is exactly what got them crashed here in the first place. It didn't matter, though. They'll be back, and they'll have questions. It was only a matter of time.

Whumpee was never one to care of storms. He'd sit in the mud during a downpour, run across the beaches in a hurricane, and hoist his sails in a thunderstorm. He lived for the clouds, the sea, and the storms. People called him crazy and reckless, but he would never see it that way. After all, he always said:

If you don't die on a boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, did you ever truly live?

He made his way off the rocky shores of the Lighthouse, despite the crashing waves hitting his feet. They knocked him over quite a few times, but a face full a' sea water n' a rock jammed in his side wasn't any new feat. Most people might find the sand up the nose and wet clothes to be uncomfortable, but for Whumpee it was just another part of life, and they tried to enjoy all of them. Even in the unpleasantries there is something to be experienced.

That experience was life itself. It was something to be cherished. Every shipwreck, every storm, every literal rock in the side, it was life. Even death was just another part of it, albeit the end.

He stepped off the rocks and onto the docks. Ships swayed in the violent rain, hitting loudly off them. He walked down them and into the coastal town, simply referred to as "The Docks" as a whole. They weren't too sure what time it was, as the clouds were just that thick, but they reckoned it had to've been midday.

The town was as rough and tumble as they came, more so than Whumpee had seen, and they'd sailed all over the world. What I meant by that is it looked like it was out of some nautical maritime fairytale. A cluttered, disheveled, seaside town, but it was medieval, too. Old timey, 15th century, and— did that Lighthouse keeper mention pirates earlier?

Sure, they're still around, they've ran into a few, but to so casually mention them like that seemed strange. Then again, they were also talking about mermaids sinking ships, so maybe the lonesome old keeper was just crazy and full of shit. Still, with curiosity at its peak, they walked down the cozy wet cobblestone streets.

Though the rain was loud and rough, they could hear the lively chatter inside the old buildings. The sound of clanking glasses, laughter, dancing, and old-timey sea shanty music boomed inside the large tavern building. The widows were open holes in the wall, covered by planks that could swing open.

Whumpee pulled opened the tavern window, and an olive skinned woman happened to be standing right against it.

"Oh, hi, sorry." Whumpee said.

"It ain't be a bother." Said the woman, a piratey accent to her voice. She took a sip of the beverage in her hand, "Mm. Besides, the air be nice, it's stuffy in this ol' place. Name's Caretaker."

"Whumpee."

"Charmed." She said, doing a raise of her glass before taking another sip, "What bring ya peerin' into taverns?"

"Just walking around, getting acquainted."

She chuckled, "Durin' a storm? You're quite the adventurous one."

"I was born out at sea, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't." He said, hoisting himself to sit on the windowsill, getting out of the rain. "There ain't a better time to get out into the open air than during a thunderstorm."

"Ain't ya frightened by it?"

"It's about risk vs. reward. Is the risk of dying out at sea greater than simply being out at sea? Is the threat of getting struck by lightning worse than the experience of being out in a thunderstorm? Does the thought of getting sick outweigh the positives of being one with nature? The answer is no, to me at least. Like, I'd much rather die in a shipwreck than of a heart attack in some dumb suburban house, you know?"

"Can't say I do, but I respect your enthusiasm."

"That's more than most people. I just really love life, and that includes all the bad things that come with it. I've gotta admit, I love me a good shipwreck."

"Oh, are you the new boat boy who crashed on the bay last week?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm surprised people know about me already."

"In a town like this, word tends to spread fast. Ain't much goin' on. How'd the grumpy ol' keeper treat you?"

"Well, he was talkin' about merfolk and stuff."

"Ah, that old bastard is always so cryptic. He is one of the merfolk. Don't know why he does it, but I suppose it's just to scare any of the humans he gets."

Whumpee furrowed their brow in confusion.

"Oh, yeah, you're new, sorry. He's a human-trapper who works with the royals. Sometimes they end up crossing over, so it's his job to turn them in."

Whumpee was incredulous, "What are you talking about?"

"Hm? What d'ya mean?" She asked, brushing her long, dark, curly hair behind her ears, letting Whumpee see they were long and pointed. Whumpee nearly choked on air as their eyes widened and heartrate accelerated. Was... was this real?

"Hey, you alright?"

"Eh, I was... just in a crash the other day, ya know? Still a bit lightheaded and all that. I— I should get going. Nice talking!" He said, jumping down from the window, shutting it, and running off down the streets back to the shores.

He practically had to crawl through the sea across the stones to the Lighthouse, the waves that stong and harsh. He kicked open the door, dripping wet.

"Back so soon?" Whumper asked, but Whumpee only had one thing on their mind.

"You sunk my ship!" He slammed the door behind him, "Where am I? Who are you? How did I get here?"

Whumper smiled, still with his cup of tea that he sat down on the table. "Welcome to The Docks."

--- --- --- ---

Hey hoped you like this! It wasn't very whumpy, but I'm currently just fighting demons (writer's block) hoping they'll go away soon. I was sat out in a thunderstorm soaking wet and wrote this while waiting for round two so then I could go shower 😂

I wasn't intending on this being anything other than a one-off, but I love the rain and sea (if you couldn't tell) and when inspiration strikes, it strikes. I now plan on continuing this, as I have a few ideas, but I'm just kinda going with it. I don't have a plot or anything but I DO know that while Whumper may seem chill now he's going to be the absolute worst later. This confident, life-loving Whumpee is about to be crushed.

Also! Since I'm continuing this, I'd like to name them! Since I have literally, actually, 300+ named characters (I listed them) I'm kinda all named out. So I'd like some suggestions! Masc/neutral names for whumpee and whumper and fem/neutral for caretaker.

[howtofightwrite]

Greek fire was an extraordinary specific weapon found in a particular time and region, naval combat was primarily an afar of rams (in the medaterriaan with its oar powered vessels) and armed roaring ie: getting as close as possible and just swarming onto your opponents boat to fight in melee, with some archery and whatnot. One of the sucesses of the eventual roman navy was perfecting a sort of boarding ramp to quickly put their troops on an enemy ship

Furthermore, in later periods, there are accounts of skirmishes in the atlantic between rival fleets. In which case the fore and aftcastles on the cogs are used as platforms to post archers and men throwing rocks and iron bars down on opponents ships while others boarded (hence why their called castles and elevated). Theres at least one account (I forgot of which battle) in which an English king boarded an enemy ship then abandoned his own as it sunk.

So, free advice, if you want to remain anonymous, you probably should make sure that both asks go through as anon. Though, I'm pretty sure Tumblr's extended ask length would have let you drop both paragraphs into it. Worst case (and I do realize I'm a poster child for looking like I ignore this advice), but when you run into a word (or character) limit, it's usually a good idea to start editing and trimming down the length until the system accepts it in a single pass. Splitting an ask into multiple parts is an excellent way to lose part of a question, or just make sure it never gets answered in the first place. Cut everything you don't absolutely need.

Either way, I'll err on the side of caution and answer the anon response to preserve your privacy.

I thought I made it clear that Greek fire was a much later invention. It's actually a little frustrating, because you'll see poorly researched history articles which will straight up make it sound like Greek fire was used during the Peloponnesian War. Which, yeah, no. A lot of the major Hellenic wars we think of today were around the 5th century BCE, while the invention of Greek Fire was over a thousand years later.

While you were talking about Greek fire in particular, what you said applies to a lotof weapons throughout history. When we're talking about something like the rapier or the claymore, those are weapons from very specific points in time. It's something to think about when you're mixing and matching technologies to create a fantasy world. No weapon exists in a vacuum, and they all develop as responses to the state of warfare around them. This doesn't mean you can't mix and match pieces you like, but it is something to be conscious of.

While it is outside the scope of the original question (because it's a firearm), one of the more amusing weapons from the age of sail were actual gun blades. These would be musket (usually a pistol), with a cutlass blade mounted under the barrel. (There were also examples that mounted an axe head under the barrel.) The intention was to be able to use the firearm during boarding actions and then switch over to using it as a melee weapon rather than reloading. The design was fundamentally flawed, the weight distribution was poor for a blade, and the (relative) mechanical complexity of the early firearms meant those components were too fragile for serious use. But for a couple decades in the 17th century these things saw limited use.

Now, I do need to give serious credit to A Number of Hobbies, who came back with a trio of fantastic reference articles. Naval Combat Strategies from Shadyislepirates.com, Choosing Naval Tactics for Your Pre-Gunpowder World from Mythcreants.com, and The First Punic War: Audacity and Hubris from the U.S. Naval Institute. So, if you're still wanting more information, those are all excellent resources to check.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[radroller]

BATMAN COSTUME RATINGS

First I critiqued Captain Britain's closet of costumes, then Hank Pym's unending undertaking of unique uniforms, but now i'm bagging the biggest bass on the boat: BATMAN. And on Batman Day no less!!! While I’m hard-pressed to think of a major Batman design that is outright bad, but how do they stack up against each other? Also for simplicity’s sake we’ll be looking at Bruce Wayne’s different costumes, as i could make an entire separate post about the other Batmen and their costumes. Now, without further ado:

1939 Original: 6/10

A striking silhoutte brought on by the ears and cowl, a menacing visage with piercing eyes, and ever-charming purple gloves! Batman’s characterization as a merciless crimefighter didnt last beyond the year of his debut, but those initial appearances laid the impression of someone who fiercely combats evildoers by striking fear into their hearts. The problem is that these early appearances lacked consistency, a consequence of them still figuring stuff out. Sure whenever we reference back to Original Batman nowadays it’s excellent pulpy noir fun, just look at the upcoming Caped Crusader, but if you actually read the original comics Batman can sometimes look kinda…stupid. Particularly in his very first story, not being able to see his ears in profile shots is just WRONG. But still, those unforgettable vibes win out in the end, and are what carry on from this take on the character to this day!

40s/50s Batman: 6/10

The turn of the decade brought big changes for Batman, now he was colorful, barrel chested, and smiles aplenty! Presumably this change was made to appeal to younger readers (alongside the debut of Robin soon after) in a way that the scarier original Batman look didnt manage to. More emphasis was put on Batman’s status as a daring adventurer, a resourceful super sleuth, and fatherly figure to the kids at home and his ward Dick Grayson. Naturally this is reflected in his costume! The shortened ears and more expressive eyes exchange the creepiness of the original design for a sleeker look with friendlier features. The cape has become slightly shorter as well, and is more often used as a cape than a cloak so as not to conceal Batman’s muscular figure. But the biggest innovations by far are the new gloves with the iconic forearm blades, and a friend that’ll be with Batman for decades to come: the color blue!!! Just a fun look for all the giant typewriters, Zur En Arrh, cavaliers, and boners.

60s Yellow Oval: 8/10

As the Silver Age chugged along so did Batman stories, and it was a mixed bag for the guy. While the more stern and serious demeanor that became more prevalent with him (despite remaining approachable and kind) led to what i feel is one of the quintessential characterizations of the character, the routine in the comics began to wear a little thin at this point. This was compounded by some of the sorriest supervillains with the lamest gimmicks you’d ever see, with even the ones that would see eventual promise like Poison Ivy not achieving their full potential for decades to come. However at the same time Batman was now a TV star thanks to the 1966 show, and experienced a surge of popularity as a result, at least for the few years it was airing. It was an interesting time for Batman, but not so much his costume as it pretty much remained the same with one exception: the iconic yellow oval. And while that isnt much i sure do love it for the color balance, it really brings a little extra something during this blue period for the Batsuit.

Bronze Age: 10/10

Now THIS is some good shit right here. The 70s marked a shift back to Batman’s gothic roots thanks in large to Denny O’Neil’s time with the character and the art of industry greats like Neal Adams, Jim Aparo, Gil Kane, and Dick Giordano reflected that. And this suit….GOD. While largely the same as his 60s design as that was still his most recognizable look thanks to the TV show, the taller ears and MUCH longer cape gave Batman a more dramatic and cool air than ever before. Not as scary as he was originally yet not as campy as he had since become, a happy medium! At the same time, this is the bluest Batman ever was, which i’ve always found interesting. I always took it as Batman not shedding the most important things he gained over the previous 30 years, the warmth and compassion he was capable of alongside being the Dark Knight Detective. It incorporates all of the best choices about Batman designs into one ultimate look. I can’t think of much that tops it, and maybe DC couldnt either given that it was still being used well into the early 90s, well after much darker looks had been shown in blockbusters like DKR, Batman Year One, and The Killing Joke. It’s just that good!

Troika: 6/10

I ADORE this suit. The all-black look of the 1989 movie is so striking to see in comic form…at least in theory. You see I call it the Troika suit because that’s the name of the arc that first featured it, but the image i use comes from much later when it was refined to look more…well, like Batman. The eponymous storyline had him looking like a feverdream with foot-tall ears and a cape so huge it was as if he was wrapped in goth bedsheets. Idk if they were influenced by Todd McFarlane’s Batman art and later successes with Spawn but i am not a fan. It’s just peak 90s excess, but in a much uglier way than Azrael’s batsuit ever was imo. Though i must stress, in a less exaggerated artstyle this suit is perfectly solid, even great, and i love seeing it in Chuck Dixon’s later 90s Bat books. So i give it a decent rating regardless.

No Man’s Land: 7/10

Speaking of late 90s: this suit technically appeared before the aforementioned arc, I personally associate it more with JLA, but No Man’s Land is definitely the most significant thing that happened during its tenure. It’s basically just the Troika suit with a dark grey bodysuit. Not much more to it than that, really. And while i actually prefer the Troika suit to it, this one is much less often a nightmare for me to look at, so it wins out ever so slightly. Only other thing to mention is that it sometimes includes pointy shoulders that I’m mostly neutral towards.

Hush: 9/10

Once again this suit was actually seen previously in the Officer Down storyline, but it was the artwork of Jim Lee in the Hush arc that cemented it as the definitive modern take on Batman’s costume. Much like with the Bronze Age suit we have a design drawing from the strengths previous ones: a long flowing cape, a huger bat symbol than ever before, and an overall darker color scheme evoking all the blockbuster Batman stories from the 80s, the Animated Series, and various movies. It’s easy to see why it’s lasted so long, even after Bruce would go on to change and update his look he’ll still be wearing this in crossover events, non-continuity books, or even main continuity ones where he had a different outfit at the time but nobody gave a fuck. It’s sleek, it’s relatively easy to draw, and it’s striking in team lineups, a perfectly functional good-looking design. Despite the fact that i associate it with a depiction of Batman i’ve long grown weary of, the fact is that this suit is a classic and deserves the use it gets…though it isn’t a favorite. In my opinion it’s just a little too quintessential, in a vacuum it’s the perfect look but next to some of these other looks from over the years it’s lacking a certain something to push it to the top.

Batman Inc: 8/10

In retrospect I think it was a poor choice to make Dick Grayson’s Batman suit basically identical to Bruce’s then-current one before he suffered a bad case of being dead (but not really). DC let Dick keep being Batman so as not to seem like they were demoting him (got over that pretty quick), and thus when Bruce returned to life he had to be given a different suit to differentiate the two. If anything Dick should’ve had the more distinct look, because they could’ve or would’ve gone farther with it than what they did with ol Bruceman. As a result half of the time you can only tell them apart based on musculature. That’s my ONE criticism with this suit, it isn’t much of a change at all from his modern-classic appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the return of the yellow oval for as long as it lasted, but just about everything else added (the speed lines, utility belt, loss of the black undies) I’m kinda neutral on. It’s an amazing suit and I have super fond memories of it but I just don’t have much to say beyond that.

New 52: 5/10

Im not gonna beat a dead horse when it comes to the New 52, especially with Batman, because he actually fared better than just about anyone else. The more edgy, less colorful aesthetics a lot of the reboot books were pushing fit him pretty well given we were between Dark Knight movies and he mostly wears black and grey anyway. But this suit design....damn. I get what they're going for but it comes out so damn busy, and for no real reason. I was neutral on the speed lines from the Batman Inc suit but this is just too much! And how about the bat symbol peels off? Why? It's just a choice I can't fathom, even the hyper grounded Batman movies don't have stuff like that going on with the suits. This coupled with it being the least colorful Batsuit by a significant margin, even compared to the Hush suit and even when not in the dour muted lighting FCO Plascencia used during darkest arcs on the main Batman book. But critically, I have to say that even among the lame redesigns of the reboot, this suit always strikes me as dull. Partially because, once again, it's playing it safe with Batman's overall look. It makes all the changes they did make feel like obligations, like they're admitting there was nothing wrong with Batman but everyone else was getting huge updates so he needed some greeble thrown on. And I think this is a large part of why a lot about this design steadily got ignored by artists. Or at least toned down, I think overtime it mostly came out looking like his Batman Inc look without the yellow oval. The one thing I will say I genuinely love about the New 52 suit is the armor detailing on the gloves and boots. I don't think it's entirely necessary for a Batsuit, but it's really cool nonetheless. A nice innovation from a suit I consider passable at best.

Rebirth: 10/10

To preface: this is maybe my favorite Batman look ever. After three years of what is basically the same suit this feels like a breath of fresh air. And that's crazy because it's by no means a huge departure from what came before. But what it brings to the table is SO cool and slick in all the ways i love a Batman suit to be with JUST the right amount of color. And that color is purple, with this lovely new cape lining! Coupled with a lovely complimentary yellow lining on the now-black utility belt and a border on the bat symbol that makes it pop! I love that latter choice, it's a perfect compromise between the classic and yellow-oval varieties of the bat symbol. Just a nice color palette in general, I wonder if Snyder and Capullo got attached to the color scheme of the original Batman costume when they referenced it in Zero Year. It's like Batman coming full circle in terms of design, a neat little note to end on for the history of his various looks.....

Conclusion

....Or it would be, but Batman has reverted to the Hush suit as I'm fairly certain he always will at this point. And it's a shame, though unavoidable given the status of Batman as DC's big cash cow. That said I'm not going to end this post harping on the woes of brand homogeneity, we're here to talk about Batman! The epic highs and lows of his pointy eared silhouette, the cape that trails his crusade against evil, and the symbol that he wears proudly to signify his undying dedication to that endeavor. Batman will forever be one of the most striking superheroes of all time on looks alone, and a compelling figure in the realm of comics. But what do you think? What's your favorite Batman costume? Is it one of the minor ones I didn't list?

[katakosmos]

drop the alexandre and beatrice lore like rn pretty please

(i'm referring to this post, for people who haven't seen it)

they had a white nights first meeting. a month after alexandre, druella and amélie moved to london, when he could barely speak english and he always carried with him a pocket dictionary.

beatrice had already seen him a couple of times, he had caught her attention: he sat in pubs and listened to the conversations of the nearby tables, writing some words and expressions in his little notebook. and he was a wizard, she understood it right away, because when he walked down the street he kept touching the top of his coat, making sure he hadn't lost what the muggles thought was a wallet, but was actually a wand.

beatrice liked to mingle with muggles, pretending to be one of them and wearing their strange clothes. so, when alexandre found her alone in a dark, deserted street, she continued to act. she curled her red lips into a smile, fixed her hair and straightened his crumpled beret. alexandre was hypnotized.

he offered to walk her home, using gestures more than words. and beatrice, laughing, took him to a park instead, where they sat on a bench under a street lamp.

"where are you from?" she asked.

he didn't know the english word for hellas, so he said it in french, showing her a postcard of athens that he kept in his notebook.

luckily, she understood. "oh, greece!"

"and france."

"france! i studied french when i was little, but i can only say a few things: je m'appelle beatrice et tu es très beau."

when the night ended, they didn't know if they'd see each other again. they were both pureblood wizards, they knew what their duty was, they knew that their future was not in their hands. so imagine alexandre's happiness when, at the party introducing the rosiers to english society (all the most powerful families of wizards had been invited), he saw beatrice. of course she already knew who he is.

they agreed to get married only on the condition that beatrice would take care of the house and alexandre of the children. beatrice was the one who officially took care of upholding the family name, she was invited to meetings and private parties, she had contact with the high members of the magical society. alexandre instead preferred to spend his time at home, he raised and educated the twins (who were unmanageable). in his free time he read or built model boats. and he was usually a kind and funny person, if he wasn't disturbed: the cause of his bad mood was often the rudeness of his children, and his punishments were severe.

they weren't affectionate parents, they never said "i love you", they never kissed, and the only moments they spent together were breakfast and dinner, when beatrice came home exhausted, she fell on the sofa clutching her temples, and rolled her eyes every time alexandre saw her and made one of his usual stupid jokes.

but, in the summer, they often went out for dinner, leaving the twins alone with their aunt, their cousin, and the house elves. and, on their wedding anniversary, they always walked to that park, and sat on the bench for a while, looking at the moon.

[cuprohastes]

Dave The Human vs. Religion

The question of religion had come up, as it does.

Dave The Human, female Tsin muttered something at a high pitch at her tablet and Dave the human, formerly Dave the Atrix, formerly also Dave the Human performed some epic side-eye.

Gondy was filling in for the Atrix member of the group, still slightly scarred from having her helmet smacked hard enough to split during the recent disintegration of the station due to Von Neumann's Space squid.

Raxy, her Little Guy was stuffing his face in a way that you don't normally see on an Atrix that size. This suggested to the Daves that the Little Guy was shortly going to be upskilling, getting certified and getting referred to as female...

Given Atrix really just looked at the whole gender thing and opted out, and the whole male/female thing was labelling for other people's benefit, the Daves formed an unspoken and instant agreement that helping Raxy bulk up was their new hobby.

For two people from radically different biologies and cultures, the Daves were staggeringly similar as though some cosmic author had created them with the same voice.

Tsin Dave waggled the tablet. "Homeworld want to make sure everyone's complying with off-world best practices. They want to ensure that we're... ugh: 'Maintaining tradition in line with oof-world guidance'" she grumped.

"First I'm a heretic and a sky-demon and now they want to make sure I'm the right sort and not making you lot think less of us with my wicked deviant ways."

Gondy paused, as did Rax.

"graaaaak?" Rax said, around one of the mysterious and never explained purple bread rolls.

Meta-note about the purple bread rolls: They're actually Ube potato bread rolls. They're steamed in the Caffeteria. The food services are very aware that everyone who encounters them assumes they're a food from some other species culture. It's the little things that make the day to day fun.

"You never heard about that?" Dave The human said. "Oh well hum..."

Dave the Human gave his buddy full points on her mastery of colloquialism and settled in.

"So there's this legend that many years ago the People - 's us - had an idyllic land, and the concept of evil was unknown. Then one day, Sky Demons, jealous of our ways and our purity of soul absolutely pounded the knekp out of the place and only those of us in the Great Underground Halls, who were devout enough survived. And since that day, to leave the ground is to attract the attention of the Sky Demons."

Gondy raised a claw.

"Boats are OK. Water is theologically still ground."

Gondy put her claw down.

Dave the human said, "That sounds like..."

Dave The Human answered, "Nope, it was Orbital Bombardment. Nation-on nation. The shelters were built because it was a strong possibility that things would get all... ker-blammy."

"Yeesh!"

"Yeah. And the religious angle kind of got shuffled in as this agreement that when everyone got out, nobody wanted to be dancing around pointing claws at other countries and trying to blame them, while it was everyone's fault. Can't really blame them but for a thousand odd years that was the official line."

Gondy said "Wow! I never knew that!"

Dave The Human nodded. "Yeah yeah, it's been pretty common knowledge for a century or so, but still, when we got back into space after the Wallandernoooks showed up to trade, it was a major, major problem and uh well, leaving the Homeworld means you're a Heretic and in league with the Sky Demons according to the Dogma soooo..."

"Huh. And that means...?"

"Not much. Kind of lightly excommunicated. Not really welcome back home where things are a little more traditional. But y'know. No biggie. We're all colonists out here anyway, and we still get Homeworld support. It's just we also have to get audited that we're not giving Homeworld a bad name." She paused and took a long drink of mekp. "Aaaaand this time they want to know if we have a shrine to show you filthy heathens that we're still the number one proper pious type heretical sky demons. F.M.L."

Gondy, Rax and Dave pondered this.

"Gondy... what do Atrix believe in?" Asked Dave the Human.

"Graaak."

"Yeah, Rax, I guess 'some places are lucky' covers it. You know.... good moss, cool rocks, just got a good vibe. The sort of place you can drop a bunch of... what do you call them? Possums."

Dave the Human choked on his water. "Possums?!"

"Grak." Commented Rax and Gondy pulled her tablet out and poked. "Yeah... human smalls." She said, holding up a picture of a possum mis-labelled as an infant human.

"Huh. You guys are adorable when you're young" cooed Dave The Human, who Dave previously rated as about as maternal as a meat grinder.

Dave let it go for now, suspecting this would yield hilarious dividends at some future time, and turned back to Dave the Tsin.

"Ok, this is shaping up to be another wacky hi-jink. What's the gig?

"Gotta build a shrine."

"Any shrine?"

"Pretty much. It's got to be location appropriate. Y'know. The god of the place. To show we're uh... friendly to the local divinities? On theological good terms?"

"OK but... we're all godless atheists, apart form the ones who aren't. Who are you going to build a shrine to?

"Yeah that's kind of it. I mean I don't want to be the grit under anyone's scales..."

"Ohhhh," said Gondy, "Oh oh! Rax, call Garf! I have an idea..."

Several weeks later, the Tsin named Walks-between-Waves arrived as part of the Tsin welfare and general ambassadorial circuit.

O'Patel and Big Ma performed the proper greetings and paperwork, and Dave presented herself.

Walks-Between-Waves ("Just call me Waves") walked up and declaimed, "Heretic, and blasphemer. You bones will never lie with the ancestors, and your meat will rot. You and the demons you dwell with are denied! Cast out as the foul beasts you are. How are you doing? Well I hope?"

Dave bowed, small hands together, big ones outstretched.

"Oh yeah. They're all very nice here." She said. "Did they change the words of the castigation?"

"Oh, no, but some of it needed translating for human language a little," Waves said and added, "such a fun language! Quite the fad back home. And since you're hmm, officially human, I couldn't resist. Now, I believe you have something to show?"

O'Patel looked bemused and said sotto voce to Big Ma, "I think this is going to go well!"

Dave led Waves to the common area where, true enough, there was a shrine. It was made of old pieces of the station recovered from it's partial disassembly. 3D printed and painted panels along the sides showed Tsin, Atrix and Humans, helping each other climb up the sides, to the top of the shrine where someone had creatively frosted some glass and lit it with shifting lights to suggest something exciting and pleasant waited. The thing dripped with moss and a small water feature played down from the back into a shallow bowl of stones.

"Ah!" Said Waves. "Very impressive. Going for extra credit?"

"No..." said Dave. "It's a group effort. Once we started, everyone wanted to help. Especially after we found a small god for the Station that everyone liked... Their name is Arepo."

[natashasbitxh]

Finally got to see Peter Pan Goes Wrong in West End with Charlie Russell, Matthew Cavendish, Greg Tannahill, Matthew Howell, Harry Kershaw, Clark Devlin, Jamie Birkett, Chris Leask, Ellie Morris, and Jean-Luke Worrell! They were all amazing, I thought I'd share some of my fav bits! (Warning: There's a lot)

• Firstly, programme stuff: the note from the director basically just being Chris and Trevor arguing like a married couple. Chris being too scientific and Trevor having to remind him it's supposed to be festive.

● Them leaving a note asking if anybody was a flying operator as they didn't currently have one😭

• Robert leaving the children of the Cornley Youth Theatre abandoned in a forest with limited food and knives,to prepare for their performance of Lord of the Flies. NSPCC and police had to intervene, 2 of the children are still missing today (Ben McIntyre and Sarah Cordell)

• Jonathon's interview where's he's practically begging the interviewer to take note he was 'fashionably late', when he was actually waiting for 6 hours.

• Jonathon saying (in the interview), he's been focusing on humanitarian work, such as adopting a child from Ethiopia and a child from Vietnam. And then the interviewer just replied with "That is Brad Pitt. Everything you have just said is about Brad Pitt and not yourself."

• In the cast section, Chris Bean writing "I would like to remind my father that there is a spare ticket at the box office for him if he chooses to show up." That's so sad😭

• Trevor's section ended with "trevorzbeatz/YouTube.co.uk" 😭

• Pip (assistant stage manager) just says: "They call me Big Pip up north. Trevor's cousin. Out and about and that. Nice one." Like okay yh me too Big Pip

• They tried to feed the crocodile an alarm clock😭 (RIP Nadia tho😔)

• Annie left a little note saying she's "looking for a man" and then there's some description of what she's (not) looking for

• A page saying welcome to the theatre, but it is still very much in character😭 "Director Chris Bean always fulfils his promise of giving us a show we will remember for a very long time."

•Pre-show antics: one of the assistant stage managers (I'm gonna guess Pip? Not too sure tho) was walking around looking for a hammer. I noticed that he'd act like he was looking around and then when he spotted a child he'd go and ask them. I thought that was cute🥹

• I couldn't see the wires going through the audience cause I had seats up high, but I did see Robert pulling the end of the wire whilst on stage with the help of an audience member

• Dennis was late I think, ran across the stage from the audience with a bag on

• Lucy suddenly ran off stage, Robert not far behind shouting things like "You have to do it!" (And then later on she ran back on stage,but it seemed Robert got caught up in a convo)

• Now onto the actual show, I thought Dennis singing les mis due to his headgear was pretty funny seeing as les mis was about a door or 2 down

• At one point we were clapping for something (can't remember what, but it was during the beginning Darling Family scene), and Max joined in with the clapping. Sandra had to tell him to stop with a pointed glare and a lil hand gesture

• Every appearance with Robert as the shadow was amazing, I know it's simple but I'm always impressed with the rug pull and the way he lands

• During the bit where there's too much smoke and it engulfs the pirates, Trevor comes to the rescue but does hit Chris in the arse by accident, christrev anybody?

• I will forever love Robert trying to get Dennis to pick up the sword, Dennis picking up the boat paddle and Robert going on a rant about how he's been moving his arms for the past 5 mins why would he need the paddle

• During the interval the lights would still go out occasionally, fun touch

• As Jonathan flew up before crashing down, a banner fell down with Robert holding a bean, a reference of his show Jack and the bean

• Before this, I'd only seen the BBC recorded version of Peter Pan Goes Wrong, so I rlly enjoyed the changes. Such as the mermaids, but I RLLY laughed at Robert being the Mr Bumble in Oliver that killed a child. Especially when he went to be Peter Pan before starting to sing 'Food, Glorious Food"

• The whole poison bit was incredible, Harry's improv was on FIRE. We obvs did the traditional pantomime business which made Chris mad, he very much gave teacher vibes as he sat down on the set and said it was our own time we were wasting. He also complained that this was only the matinée and they still had an evening performance to get to. Then he pointed out how somebody in the audience was hissing, "Nobody goes to a show and says 'Yeah it was good but the person in the fourth row wouldn't stop hissing'" (this resulted in a lot of children hissing whenever he appeared on stage). Then when it got to the poison bit, a child was yelling at him to hurry up, causing Chris to go on a rant about how he didn't even want children there, sitting there on their booster seats. After the child yelled at him multiple times, Chris gave up and told the child to open it for him, which they did. Then as he was leaving, we were booing again and he was like "NO NO DONT BOO ME, IT WAS THE CHILD THAT POISIONED HIM." Then as he exited, he said something along the lines of "blame the child murderer." It was insane.

• Then, when Peter asked who would try to poison him, Tink/Annie pointed at the child that opened the bottle. I think Chris Leask actually had to turn his head downwards and to the side to hide his laughing.

• I've pointed this out before, but I'm so endeared with how worried Chris was when Annie was unconscious. HE KNEELED THERE HOVERING OVER HER BODY JUST LIKE TOUCHING HER FACE, NOT SPEAKING FOR AWHILE. Adorable. Every characters reaction was adorable...sorry Annie

• I just have to say Francis' Cabaret performance to distract us from Annie was amazing. Loved the audience clapping along as well and the rest of the cast looking absolutely shocked and confused

• I loved that we heard a whole marriage fall apart through Dennis' headgear. I want to know more abt them, the husband that took over to help Dennis sounded sweet

• When Lucy slid down the ship in her wheelchair she was flung out and then caught by Trevor in a sort of bear hug, Lucy's legs wrapped around his torso. Trevor was SEVERELY judging the cast HE WAS NOT HAPPY WITH THEM. They're besties ur honour, I thought it was so cute

• Loved Francis' Cabaret performance again during the big fight scene with the set moving.

• Trevor saying something like "You've got to be joking" when Lucy picked up the book 😭

• I wanted to scream laugh at Chris lying in the bed like an ill victorian child as Lucy closed up the story, and then Dennis choosing to lie on the squished bottom bunk

• As Lucy continued to read, Chris, Sandra, Trevor, Dennis, and Max were all checking up on one another in the background. Hugs, shoulder grabs. Guys, I love Sandra and Chris' dynamic so much, Sandra was making sure he got off the bed alright and then gave him a hug

• Of course the whole end song, Max as the crocodile encouraging us to clap

It was so amazing, everybody was fantastic!! My jaw still aches from laughing so hard! Hope ppl found this interesting cause I always love when other ppl share what happened during their show😭

[the-three-pure-souls]

Do you have any headcanons for J.D/Vandal? If so, what are they?

Thank you so much for asking about him! :D He's one of my favorites! I have a bunch of little hcs for him so I had to pick which ones I wanted to put here ^^' Sorry it took me so long to actually write them ^^' I love this silly little guy and I, uh, made them much longer than the previous ones for Stumbler and Wulf, and accidently made them depressing and also mini shortish stories for some reason ;w; Maybe I'll turn the second one into an actual fanfic one shot! ^^ Tw for the second and third one, as the second one is related to Connor. The third one, albeit the shortest is about his trauma from his time in the Studiogrounds lab. ;w; I'm still figuring out the colors I'm gonna use for Vandal and Husk, but for now I think I'll use blue for both J.D and Stumbler and I'll use orange for Husk!

Feel free to ask about my other hcs too!!! :D I don't really have very many for characters like Husk atm but I do have quite a few for some of the other characters like Rex! ^^ Now onto the boy:

J.D/Vandal

J.D doesn't actually have a name for himself, simply going by whatever people start calling him next. People start calling him 'the Studiogrounds Vandal' when he starts writing stuff on the walls around Studiogrounds to try to get the truth out there? That's his name then. Sounds pretty ominous so he's sure they won't mind him just simply shortening it to 'Vandal'! He's on the loose and people start calling him 'John Doe'? Well, he might as well have some fun with this one! It probably stems from his strange relationship with his own identity, who he is. For all his life he's been dehumanized, treated like an object, an animal.  It felt so weird to him, the first time someone used both He and It to refer to him. It may have felt weird to it..but it also felt right somehow. This got him to start thinking about things.. For so long he was simply a scientific mishap..a mistake. Some thing Broadside used to experiment on before he and his twin, Husk, split. Something which still haunts him to this day.. Maybe, though..he can almost be..a..person? He might not be a human per say, but he can act like one! Right..?  This was how he discovered he enjoys painting. Art. Both that and recording videos, editing them! Despite this though, he still has a lot of issues involving around who he is. Maybe that can change one day.

He only showed up on the island some while ago, and when I mean show up, he just..appeared. No boat. Nothing for him to have come from the water. He also acted like the island was his home. To say this freaked out the wolves is an understatement. This random..creature just showed up one day who very much acted not similar at all to any being any of the wolves had ever seen before. He walks just like the characters from the various Broadside cartoons that they have in the theater. It was uncanny. Wulf and Stumbler who had learned of Layer 3 before this had their suspicions of what he was. Though, as long as he didn't harm anyone, the wolves were alright with him staying there. That being said, they didn't really warm up to him either. J.D should be used to this! It's been alone it's whole life! ..Well..no..no, that isn't true. There once was a time..he did have someone else..and before that he had Husk, his twin! But still..even despite the pain he already is in..why does it hurt so much that Chief Wulf in particular is avoiding him too..? Why did he remind it so much..of..him..? It hurts to think of back then. It hurts. It hurts. He doesn’t want that, it doesn’t want to hurt. Back then he finally had a friend..why did Husk..? What did Husk say to him that day..? He tries not to think. Think about the body on the ground. Think about him standing on the balcony. Think about how he didn't say goodbye.. The world is a blur now, everything a blend of colors..black tar going down his face. Ha..ha..he really is the worse half, isn’t he..? No matter how much he wants too..and no matter how much he meant to it..He couldn’t save Connor..

Medical and lab supplies along with closed dark spaces that aren't the Stitchcaves bring back memories he’d rather forget. If he’s trapped in a room he can’t get out of, suddenly the room feels too tight he suddenly can't breathe and the next thing knows, he's huddled in a corner whimpering uncontrollably. He isn’t able to stop shaking when that happens. In that place they felt so much desperation and helplessness, terror and pain. He doesn't want to go there again. He would rather die than go back to that hell again.

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

Things I have researched/googled for my Dracula fanfiction series Strange Wonders in the past year, an ongoing list in no particular order

typewriters, how they work and how they run out of ink

Clothing (I feel like this goes without saying)

how Victorian washstands looked (I wanted to see if it would be accurate to say there was a mirror attached or no)

Aerated Bread Company (I found a menu from 1902 so Mina and Quincey ordered food items that were on that menu)

Etymology of approximately 1 billion bajillion words and I'm sure I still didn't really get it right (did you know the term suffragette was not coined until 1906)

Texas Reconstruction (Currently I just don't see how I will fit Quincey's backstory in organically but oh he has one)

Wilhelmina of the Netherlands (this was kinda an accident bc I was doublechecking the etymology of Wilhelmina and found out that Wilhelmina was actually a really badass and memorable Dutch monarch who was only a few years younger than Mina and was 17 in 1897. Van Helsing WILL be bringing her up in passing later)

whether or not portable gas camping stoves were a thing then (the answer: yes just and Arthur is a rich boy so sure he probably has one)

whether or not pocket soup was still a thing then (the answer ehhhh not really it was pretty out-dated but I still used it anyway because I like the word "pocket soup" I can be historically inaccurate when I want to be fuck you)

how bleeding out works for different arteries and veins (I may have flagrantly disregarded the information I learned in pursuit of a climax that was both intense and not horribly sad)

how old timey guns work (mixed success. Did find out how many bullets a Winchester could hold but I still didn't really get enough information on pistols but oh well)

New Woman writers, criticism and backlash

Kukris (not sure if this counts bc I managed to research them for a masters presentation but I got to use like 5% of the information I now know about them in my fic so)

penny dreadfuls (and thank god I did bc Varney the Vampire is too good not to name drop- all other Brit Lit references I simply knew because I am a massive nerd)

The location of the porcelain industry in the United Kingdom (yes it was for a throwaway line but in my defense it took like 30 seconds to google)

did people sell phonograph records of music back then (yeah but it was still not really a thing thing yet)

Boating terms and types of boats and what steamers look like

[grandmother-goblin]

So I just got to that personal conversation with Taash and I’m not sure how I feel about it in terms of writing execution

Prefacing this with that this is NOT a criticism of the inclusion of non-binary characters. Seriously, I love that the representation is there and is talked about! This is more of just my thoughts on the writing execution of those scenes. I’m a cis white woman, I have no place whatsoever to talk about the quality of the representation, but I do know a bit about writing so that is ALL this is about.

(That being said, if I say something truly egregious, please gently correct me. I’m honestly just a bit of an idiot.)

So, the non-binary aspect of Taash’s personal journey seemed kinda… clunky in terms of writing and execution. Which I find really disappointing because I was pretty okay with how BioWare has handled these sorts of things in the past (Dorian and Krem come to mind).

It felt especially clunky compounded with that one non-binary Grey Warden who was basically like “hey, thanks for finding my now tragically dead friends who helped me discover I was non-binary.” YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOUR FRIENDS FUCKING DIED. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

Like, the game already had Rook refer to that Warden as “they” so it just felt like they were overdoing it there. I think the line was something like, “They were there when I was figuring out who I am, you know, the non-binary stuff” and I feel like the last part was just not needed given the context.

But maybe that’s just me.

Now, I’m actually okay with BioWare spelling it out a bit for people who might not have much exposure or knowledge of what being non-binary means. It’s honestly a topic that I don’t hear much about outside of online spaces, and I’m sure there are others in the same boat, so I do appreciate BioWare being clear.

That being said, I think the writers didn’t have enough faith in the intelligence of their audience. And, unfortunately, it shows.

Both of the scenes I’ve seen dealing with non-binary aspects of a character’s identity felt kind of like…. You know those are educational skits that people sometimes use in training videos or at school?

It felt a bit like one of those.

Now, that might just be me. Maybe it’s perfect from the perspective of someone who has been craving that sort of representation, and that’s great! Maybe I just need to shut up and get with the program 😂 But if an aspect of my own identity were treated the same way, it would feel kind of bittersweet. Maybe frustrating. Because on one hand, it’s there and it seems to be handled with respect, but on the other hand, the writing just isn’t that well done.

It feels like a situation where BioWare needed to “trim the fat”, so to speak. Sometimes writers end up over-explaining things, not wanting to be misunderstood, and end up unintentionally insulting the intelligence of their audience. It feels like that might’ve been what happened here because there are parts of Taash’s journey that are excellent! I think it would have been more effective if the writers trusted their audience more.

Anyways, that’s my take on it. I absolutely adore Taash and they are so funny and sweet! They are part of my main party and they have the best commentary 😂