#Preacher Season 4
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Forgive me father, for I have sinned
#inspired by the cover of preachers daughter#cw blood#cw religious themes#sebaciel dni#black butler#kuroshitsuji#black butler fanart#kuroshitsuji fanart#sebastian michaelis#sebastian black butler#black butler sebastian#black butler season 4
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My Faves As Preacher’s Daughter
Family Tree (Intro) - Helaena Targaryen
Jesus can always reject his father/But he cannot escape his mother’s blood/He’ll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers/But he’ll never escape what he’s made up of/The fates already fucked me sideways/Swinging by my neck from the family tree
American Teenager - Luna Lovegood
Grew up under yellow light on the street/Putting too much faith in the make believe/And another high school football team/[…]/And I feel it there/In the middle of the night/When the lights go out/And I’m all alone out here/Say what you want/But say it like you mean it with your fists for once/A long Cold War with your kids at the front/Just give it one more day then you’re done, done/I do what I want/[…]/I’m doing what I want and damn I’m doing it well/For me
A House In Nebraska - Shosanna Dreyfus
You and me against the world/You were my man and I your girl/We had nothing except each other/You were my whole world/[…]/And I still call home/That house in Nebraska/[…]/And you might never come back home/And I might never sleep at night/But God I just hope that you’re out there somewhere/I just pray that you’re all right/And I feel so alone/And I feel so alone out here
Western Nights - Evelyn Evernever
I’d hold the gun/If you asked me to/But if you love me like you say you do/Would you ask me to?/[…]/Trouble’s always gonna find you baby/But so will I/[…]/I’m never gonna leave you baby/Even if you lose what’s left of your mind/Cause you know I’ll be right there beside you/Riding through all these Western nights
Family Tree - Peter Gordon
These crosses all over my body/Remind me of who I used to be/Give myself up to him in offering/[…]/I’m just a child but I’m not above violence/My mama raised me better than that/[…]/So take me down to the river/And bathe me clean/[…]/I’ve killed before, and I’ll kill again/Take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand/[…]/And Christ, forgive these bones I’ve been hiding/Oh, and the bones I’m about to leave
Hard Times - Laura Palmer
Tell me a story about how it ends/Where you’re still the good guy, I’ll make pretend/Cause I hate this story/Where happiness ends and dies with you/I thought good guys get to be happy/I’m not happy/I am poison in the water and unhappy/Little girl who needs her daddy real bad
Thoroughfare - Mantis
I met you there in Texas somewhere on the thoroughfare/On the side of the road in some torn up clothes with a pistol in my pocket/I didn’t trust no one, but you said “baby don’t run, I’ll take you anywhere”/So I hopped right in, outta luck to spend, and at least your truck beats walking/And you said “hey, do you wanna see the west with me?”/[…]/But in these motel rooms I started to see you differently/Cause for the first time since I was a child/I could see a man who wasn’t angry
Gibson Girl - Georgina Sparks
He’s cold blooded so it takes more time to bleed/Obsession with the money, addicted to the drugs/[…]/“Baby if it feels good/Then it can’t be bad”/And if you want it good/Downright iconic
Ptolemaea - Max Mayfield
I followed you in and I was with you there/I invited you in twice, I did/[…]/Suffer does the wolf, crawling to thee/Promising a big fire, any fire/Saying I’m the one, he’s gonna take me/I’m on fire, I’m on fire, I’m on fire/Suffering is nigh, drawing to me/Calling me the one, I’m the white light/Beautiful, finite/Even the iron still fear the rot/Hiding from something I cannot stop/Walking on shadows I can’t lead him back/Buckled on the floor when night comes along/Daddy’s left and Momma won’t come home/You poor thing/Sweet mouring lamb/There’s nothing you can do/It’s already been done/What fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me/Please don’t look at me/[…]/Stop, stop, stop, make it stop/[…]/Blessed be the children/Each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence
August Underground - India Stoker
Televangelism - Beth March
Sun Bleached Flies - Laura Lee
What I wouldn’t give to be in church this Sunday/Listening to the choir so heartfelt all singing/“God loves you, but not enough to save you”/So baby girl good luck taking care of yourself/[…]/And I just prayed/And I keep praying, and praying and praying/If it’s meant to be, then it will be
Strangers - Cassie Ainsworth
Thinking back to what I was always told/“Don’t talk to strangers or you might fall in love”/[…]/I tried to be good/Am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good?/With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence/I just wanted to be yours/Can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I’m yours/[…]/Don’t think about it too hard or you’ll never sleep a wink at night again/Don’t worry bout me and these green eyes
#Cassie for strangers is a stretch but oh well#Ethel Cain#preacher’s daughter#helaena targaryen#luna lovegood#shosanna dreyfus#evelyn evernever#also this is Evelyn from season 3-4 not 7#Peter gordon#laura palmer#mantis#Georgina sparks#max mayfield#india stoker#beth march#Laura lee#cassie ainsworth
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I think my new favorite trope is when characters will kill for each other, but they'd also just as easily kill each other.
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The last episode of Mrs. Davis was so good. I have so many favorite scenes. Them interrupting the man, the plot twist at the end. The absurdity of a super bowl commercial.
I hope it gets more seasons.
I love it. I can't way for the next episode. I think this is my favorite show of this year.
I can't believe one of the creators of the show, Tara Hernandez, was a writer in the big bang theory. I show that I think was not funny at all.
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i have been fighting for years to find a ship that fits "the devil's backbone" because it's a fantastic song that i KNOW has a lot of potential on a ship playlist but after 7 years it still fits diore the best. fuckers
#preacher#in my head after s1 preacher splits off into 2 timelines#the canon one and the one i wrote in my head after the season 1 finale#BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE SEASON 3 AND 4 STRAIGHT UP#it's just season 2 i dislike#and we were fucking robbed of jesse/tulip/cassidy on a cross country roadtrip#with fucking. deblanc and fiore following them as genesis' parents i mean parents i mean custodians 🙄#man FUCK this show they wrote diore as CANONICAL angel/demon romance being put in charge of an angel-demon baby#(which. hm. wonder who its parents were. hm hm fucking HM)#and then they just said actually fuck this. deblanc go die fiore go become a stoner#bc deblanc's actor fucked off to do another project or something#oh i'm never getting over this fr#one of these days. my 2016-2017 era preacher fic will see the light of day#and then you'll see..... you'll ALL see#my posts#THEY SANG LULLABIES TO THE ANGEL-DEMON BABY TO CALM IT DOWN COME ON MAN
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SO
We know that Should I Stay or Should I Go is a choice that Will will have to make in s5.
But I think we've already been given as an answer to that question.
Season 5. Chapter 1. Scene 1. The first song we hear?
Should I stay or should I go?
Season 4. The first song we hear?
The preacher knows I'm gonna stay.
The more interesting part is that,
If I go, there will be trouble / and if I stay it will be double.
Presuming that Vecna will be slowly eating away at Will, and that Will is aware of it happening? Staying might not be the good thing we're hoping it is.
Going and separating himself from the rest; denying Vecna the occasion to use him as a spy would be worse, but staying and risking a repeat of s2 is also bad.
I'm guessing it's actually gonna cause a lot of trouble.
And I love that for us.
#byler#will byers#stranger things#st5 theory#st5 speculation#st5 spoilers#st5#st4#will byers angst#i dont know if this was already said on the tag#if it was its still good to bring it up just for funsies imo#im having a lot of funsies
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love how the usage of california dreamin’ in season 4 is coming back around in season 5 with churchgate.
church is the place to pray away sin and demons such as homosexuality and the vecna/mindflayer. the church being covered in the upside down vines with the sign that has the scripture about how “this can’t be prayed away”. the church is not the safety net they think it is. “i pretend to pray” “you know the preacher likes the cold” “he knows i’m gonna stay” hahahayeah so anyways the church being a trap set up by vecna and because will is still tethered to him, he’s lured there with mike?? i love it. it makes me kick my feet and giggle. i love the symbolism of all this. like mike trusting everything will says because will is their spy except that means will is also vecna’s spy… it’s giving “i trust you because i love you despite the enemy lying within you” -> “how could you lie to me? i trusted you.”
#byler#churhgate#stranger things#stranger things s5#stranger things 5#st5#stranger things season 5#st5 speculation#st5 theory#st5 theories#stranger things theory#stranger things theories#byler theory#will byers#mike wheeler#vecna
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OMG IM SO EXCITED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO’LL WRITE BOYD CROWDER.
Can I request some fluff about going to sleep with Boyd (like actually sleeping lol), like him and the reader have a fun and flirty relationship and she knows about his criminal enterprises (S4 vibes with the pocket watch UGH). Maybe he comes home late or something and is just all over the reader but not in a sexual way, just like a missing and wanting to be close to her way.
Out Of Time
Boyd Crowder x GN!Reader
Warnings: slight spoilers for season 4, a little angst if you squint but just pure comfort and fluff (Boyd is in love)
Word Count: 2K
A/N: Anon, thank you for my first Boyd request and simultaneously igniting a burning passion within me to write more for this man. I kept the reader GN because there wasn't really any need for gender descriptors, and yes I did make that gif just for this fic 🫡 I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌
Boyd sat silently on the edge of the bed, his gaze lingering on your tranquil, sleeping form. The mattress creaked softly under his weight, causing your steady breathing to hitch momentarily before settling back into a gentle rhythm. He brushed his fingers across your cheek, a surge of longing filling his heart. He had missed you. Those brief moments in the mornings, stolen before you left for work or he had to attend to his business, were never enough. Yet, he cherished every fleeting second, treasuring these quiet moments when he could simply watch over you.
He knew you held no resentment towards him, not even when he returned home later than promised, body weary and mind burdened by his actions, like tonight, and countless other nights. He understood that you wouldn't pry, wouldn't demand every detail of his whereabouts, because that wasn't your way, and for that, he was deeply grateful. It meant you could stay just a little bit safer. You never asked for more than he could offer, only requesting that he come back to you when he could, to reassure you of his presence, to let you know he was still breathing.
Of course, he would. He'd move heaven and earth, and blow the top off that damn mountain just to fulfil his promise to you. No matter the challenges, he would find his way back to you, and you'd greet him with open arms, washing away his sins and soothing his wounds with tender kisses. You'd offer him everything a man like him could ever desire, and he knew deep down he never deserved it.
He didn't allow himself to linger on the thought of not being worthy of you. You'd never insinuated it, not even during the fiercest arguments. You never stooped to using his vulnerabilities against him. It was evident to all that Boyd's Achilles' heel was you, yet you always made him feel invincible, as though he could stand against any adversary in Harlan County. And there were many, especially with the Oxy trade dwindling with the arrival of the new preacher and the drastic measures Boyd had to employ to protect not just his business, but your shared future together.
You often credited Boyd with rescuing you from a life confined to cleaning tables in seedy bars, but the truth was far deeper: you had saved him. Boyd harboured no illusions about his criminal past; he knew the trajectory it set for his future. Yet, it was you who prevented him from plunging too deeply into the shadows of his upbringing. The thought of returning home to you, regardless of the hour, was the sole beacon that guided him through the gruelling days of battling for control over Harlan County. He fought not just for the people or for himself, but for you, and for the possibility of a family you might one day bless him with —that was what made every struggle worthwhile.
You stirred beneath his touch, your lashes fluttering as your eyes slowly opened, bleary and seeking. A smile graced your lips as you spotted him, reaching out to rest your hand on his thigh, as if confirming he was really there.
"Was wondering when I'd see you," you murmured, your voice husky with sleep. Leaning in, he pressed a tender kiss to the tip of your nose.
"Time ran away from me," he confessed, his gaze soft as he regarded you. "I'm sorry, darlin'."
You studied him for a moment, the urge to inquire further tugging at your thoughts before you decided to let it go. "Time can be a tricky thing."
Allowing him to guide you up, you melted into his embrace as he held you close. His gentle fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, smoothing the fabric of his shirt that you wore to bed each night under his touch.
"I left dinner for you in the fridge," you reminded him, pulling back slightly to meet his eyes. "I'll join you."
He shook his head, drawing you back into his arms. "Not hungry," he murmured, planting a soft kiss on your neck. "Didn't mean to wake you."
"Well, you failed miserably," you teased, a playful chuckle escaping your lips as he shook you in his hold around your waist. You could feel his smile against your skin. "How could I sleep with you hovering over me like a ghost?"
He chuckled, releasing you and gently nudging your shoulder. You settled back against the pillows, observing him as he rose from the bed.
"You'd scold me if I didn't kiss you goodnight," he remarked, a fond smile on his lips as he removed his pocket watch and set it on the bedside table. He held your gaze as he began to unbutton his waistcoat. "You ask every morning."
You hummed in agreement, running your thumb over the smooth surface of the brass watch. In the early days, you had made it a habit to stay awake during Boyd's late nights, eager to be alert in case his dealings took a dangerous turn and he needed to be patched up. It had occurred a few times, though not recently. Boyd Crowder was the sharpest mind in Harlan—few managed to outsmart him.
Your new job had demanded more from you, and though you had offered to resign, Boyd had insisted that one of you must earn through legitimate means. He had encouraged you to attend training school, funded the evening studies through unconventional channels and sang about how this new role was going to be a step in cementing the future you'd both dreamed of. Nevertheless, it had taken a toll on you, and you found yourself less vigilant than you were before, despite the anxiety that had kept you alert during those initial months, worrying about his safety.
He didn't mind, of course. He reassured you that he was simply grateful to return home to you, for the comfort and warmth you provided him, and for the graciousness with which you welcomed his associates, despite your reluctance for your home to serve as a meeting place during desperate times. He never made you feel inadequate, even when he was out risking his life to carve out a brighter future for both of you.
You had both settled into a familiar routine, one that left you both yearning for more but ultimately grateful when the day ended and you found solace in each other's embrace.
As the covers shifted, a chill swept over you, but Boyd swiftly slid beneath them, now dressed only in his underwear, and nestled closer to you. He gently retrieved the pocket watch from your hand, leaning over to place it back on the table, before wrapping his arm around your waist. You lay on your back, gazing up at the ceiling, your fingers tangling in his thick hair as he nestled against your chest, finding comfort in your embrace.
A myriad of thoughts raced through your mind, a multitude of questions that remained unspoken as you focused on the steady rhythm of your shared breaths. Sometimes, you felt the urge to uncover everything, to strip away all secrecy and confront the raw reality of what Boyd endured each day. Yet, you quickly reminded yourself—that wasn't your place. Your role was to support him while maintaining a certain level of ignorance. It was crucial, Boyd had insisted, in case you were ever questioned about him. Which you were, often, if not by nosy neighbours from the holler then by your lawman colleagues. You had been prepared for every instance though, it was Boyd who had thrown you into the belly of the beast after all.
You loved Boyd deeply, trusting him with your life because you understood it was the thing he valued most. If he required you to play a part, then that's what you would do. You'd remain silent, tend to his wounds, and hold him close, serving as the anchor he needed to prevent him from drifting too far out to sea.
His lips traced a tantalizing path over your collar bone, up your neck, and across your chin until they met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. A contented sigh escaped you as you melted into him, his hand exploring the contours of your body, caressing your side, gliding over your stomach, and tracing down your thigh. He grasped, stroked, and savoured every inch of you, his tongue intertwining with yours in a passionate dance.
Your hand slipped from his hair, instead cupping one cheek as the other tenderly stroked his jaw, rough with the stubble that grazed your thumb. He moaned against your lips, a sound laden with desire and need, but reluctantly pulled away, pressing one final kiss against the corner of your mouth before meeting your gaze with weary eyes.
"How long do I have you for?" he inquired, his voice heavy with longing, and you glanced over to the clock beside the bed. The red digits stared back at you, marking the finite moments of your togetherness as you let out a resigned sigh.
"Four hours," you replied, meeting his gaze once more. He nodded, a solemn smile touching his lips as he sank back onto the mattress. Extending his arm, he invited you to snuggle against his chest, and you accepted, finding solace in the warmth.
"What if you didn't go?" he murmured, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty, his fingers tracing soothing circles on the top of your arm. You chuckled softly, tightening your embrace around him as the notion settled into your mind.
"I'm not sure the Harlan County Sheriff's Department would appreciate their employees playing hooky," you replied with a teasing grin. "Even if it's just a lowly trainee like me."
"Oh, I'm sure Mr. Parlow could manage without you for one day," he replied with a playful smile, then his expression turned mischievous as he looked down at you. "Perhaps I could persuade him, given our history."
You shook your head, a glint of amusement dancing in your eyes. Boyd always teased about using his influence to manipulate your work schedule—leaving early, extending your lunch break—but you were adamant about keeping your relationship with him separate from your professional life, regardless of his hand in it. You knew he could pull strings if you asked, but it was important to maintain a sense of independence.
"You did mention we needed to keep Shelby on our side," you reminded him with a playful smile. "I'm pretty sure that's how I ended up agreeing to those early shifts in the first place."
He chuckled softly and leaned in to press another kiss to your nose. "You've got me there, darlin'," he admitted, his voice tinged with affection. "Just wish I had more time with you, is all," he whispered, his thumb gently tracing along your lip before stroking down your chin.
You bit your lip, weighing the possibilities and outcomes in your mind as you gazed up at him. "Perhaps just the morning wouldn't hurt. I'll bring them coffee to make it up—do you think that'll help? Maybe Shelby won't be too upset," you proposed, searching his eyes for reassurance. His gaze softened, a bright grin spreading across his face.
"Oh, baby, I don't think anybody could stay mad at you," he declared in wonderment, and you couldn't help but chuckle. He wasn't merely being sweet—being Boyd Crowder's partner came with its perks as well as its drawbacks, one being that those who didn't want to cross him tended to steer clear of you. It seemed that extended to the Sheriff's department as well.
"I'll call in the morning," you decided, determination firm in your voice.
You rested your head back against his chest, snuggling closer into him as his arms enveloped you, his chin resting atop your head as he spoke softly. "I do believe this'll be the best sleep I've had in a while."
You smiled contentedly against him, feeling the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. Closing your eyes, you surrendered to the embrace of sleep, your dreams filled with the promise of the morning ahead, shared with Boyd, where every moment, no matter how seemingly ordinary, was something to look forward to.
#boyd crowder x reader#boyd crowder x gn!reader#boyd crowder imagine#boyd crowder fic#fic request#walton goggins#gn reader#justified#justified fx#justified fanfic#justified x reader#fluff fic#comfort fic
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December 27th, 2008 is the day Anik Pillai was left behind. Trying to find his family, he travels the East Coast with his new friends, avoiding the bloodthirsty monsters created by a world-ending virus. ⠀⠀⠀🌹
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🌹 Season 1: 5 months (Jan-May)
⠀Anik Pillai, separated from his sister, makes friendly with multiple people in the chaos of the collapse of society. In this chaos, Anik raises a little boy who was also separated from his family.
1. Destroy My Life | 2. Fueling | 3. More Tigers in Captivity than the Wild | 4. Avtomat Kalashnikova | 5. The Goliath | 6. Soup | 7. A Completely, Totally, Safe Place | 8. Distrust Him | 9. Theatrics | 10. Shape & Scissor
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🌹 Season 2: 1 month (June)
⠀Anik and his friends try to escape the city before it is bombed by the remnants of the United States’ government.
1. Nirvana | 2. Is There Anyone Coming For Him? | 3. Raccoon Dye | 4. The Ever-Changing Menu | 5. Top Secret | 6. Hordes Form Hordes | 7. A Nice Walk in the Park | 8. Napalm | 9. Crossing Paths | 10. Down the Fifteen Stories
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🌹 Season 3: 2 months (July-August)
⠀Still unable to find his sister & parents, Anik and friends meet a capable married couple, and head to a safe settlement called Wheatville.
1. The Pillai Residence | 2. Another New Acquaintence | 3. I Like Them Scrambled! | 4. Meatballs | 5. Childhood, Weddings, & Forgetfulness | 6. A Most Severe Evil | 7. The Barricade | 8. Wheatfields of Wheatville | 9. Be True, and They Will Follow | 10. He'll Be Leaving Here - With You.
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🌹 Season 4: 1 month (September)
⠀The main group learn more about the state of society and science after the fall.
1. The Skin Boils Beneath, Holding Visions | 2. To Wish Impossible Things | 3. Lumbar Puncture | 4. Fever Dream | 5. Meatfillings | 6. Separation Anxiety | 7. Wise Serpent and Harmless Dove | 8. X | 9. Round and Round They Go | 10. The Doctorate of Otis Ross
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🌹 Season 5: 3 months (October-December)
⠀The main group learn more about the virus that has made the world implode.
1. Bedridden | 2. Teeth Bared Raw | 3. Bullet Factory / Piece of Cake | 4. It Cycles | 5. Dogs Howling Out of Key | 6. Unused Grain Silo | 7. Mouse Maze | 8. Burning the Flag Wrapped Around Him | 9. Devil | 10. The Prophecy
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🌹 Season 6: 1 year (January-December)
⠀Those who remain stay at the first major rebuilt faction: a settlement called Libertytown.
1. Money, Pennies | 2. Libertytown | 3. 'Doc | 4. Knights of the Walled Kingdom | 5. Two-Face | 6. In Between His Denial | 7. Cokehead | 8. His Garden | 9. IT WILL BE A MASSACRE | 10. The Promise
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🌹 Season 7: 4 months (January-April)
⠀While the group is forcibly split, Anik and those with him travel to the city formerly known as Atlanta, which hosts another rebuilt faction: Center for Safety.
1. Desperation | 2. Guidance | 3. Red-Jacketed (Her) Killer | 4. Position of Power | 5. The Doctorate of Xavier Gray | 6. (Rabbit) | 7. Double / Stranded | 8. A Monster | 9. Can't You Hear Me Crying Out? | 10. The Payoff
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🌹 Season 8: 1 yr (May-May)
⠀A period of rest. However, the surface of calm begins to bubble…
1. Third Day | 2. To:California | 3. Anju | 4. Seventh & Finger | 5. Hi. I Can Help. | 6. Shortages | 7. The Door's Left Wide Open | 8. Knights of the Walled Kingdom II | 9. Truth | 10. En Passant
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🌹 Season 9: 2 months (June-July)
⠀Anik learns more about the state of the world outside of the embrace of the powerful settlements.
1. Two-Face II | 2. Hanged Man | 3. To… Awesome! Village! | 4. Just One More | 5. Preacher | 6. Butcher | 7. Angel | 8. of Death | 9. You Think You’re Alone | 10. Letter Left Behind
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🌹 Season 10: 1 month (August)
⠀THE MEAT FACTORY.
1. Gods Before Me | 2. Idols | 3. In Vain | 4. Sunday | 5. HONOR YOUR FATHER | 6. Murder | 7. Adultery | 8. Theft | 9. The False Witnesses | 10. Two-Face III
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🌹 Season 11: 11 months (September-July)
⠀Anik is alone.
1. The Other Letter Left Behind | 2. Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth | 3. Pawned | 4. Meatrots | 5. His Fire | 6. New Creation of Man | 7. Don’t Jump the Line | 8. You Like Them Scrambled? | 9. Obituary For the Inner Self | 10. Knights of the Walled Kingdom III
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🌹 Season 12: 6 months (August-January)
⠀Valentino King, hungry ruler of the Kingdom faction, strikes a deal with the mourning Anik Pillai. Anik takes that deal.
1. The King | 2. Golden Boy | 3. Family | 4. The Ballroom | 5. Obsession | 6. The Round Table | 7. I Promise | 8. Anik’s Life is Perfect | 9. Zero Shame | 10. The Kingdom
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🌹 Season 13: 1 year 4 months (Feburary x2-June)
⠀With society on the coast all forming alliances, the new faction Home begins to become a place of respite.
1. Beginning of | 2. A Gentle Hand | 3. Anu | 4. Tiger in a Tight Enclosure | 5. The Dependent | 6. Blue / Pink | 7. No-One Hears Me Crying Out | 8. Up All Night | 9. I shall… | 10. Home.
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🌹 Season 14: ~3 days (July)
The war begins to end.
1. RUN, RABBIT! | 2. Brim | 3. A Growing Boy Needs | 4. Drink Your Blood for the Taste | 5. 7 Seconds | 6. Here, or There | 7. Salvation | 8. Play Witness | 9. Luck | 10. (KNIFE)
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🌹 Season 15: 6 months (July-December)
⠀Anik Pillai finishes what was started.
1. Dawn of the Rest of Your Life | 2. His Great Desire | 3. Queened | 4. Oh, Stranger | 5. Rebirth | 6. Too Late to Truly Mean Anything | 7. Amma | 8. To: Die Easy | 9. Like Father | 10. And All That I Loved
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DHD: what if Sam had not been able to get back into her body (at least not right away) after Jack shot her because of the entity?
(season 4, episode “ entity”)
She's not dead. Sam's not sure exactly what she is.
Then again, after everything they've seen-- the sarcophagus that can bring the dead and dying back to perfect health, the weighing of a heart against a feather and the scales balancing, whatever the hell Ascending is... maybe she is dead.
This isn't any stranger than anything else. A dark room, a darkness that's more than just a room because she can't move. No, it's not that she can't move, it's that she... isn't. There isn't anything to move. No lungs that can't inflate, no eyes that can't blink or see, no hair to curl right into her ear, no fingers she can't twitch...
She knows her fingers should still hurt, that the last thing she felt was electricity racing up from the keyboard.
Maybe this is death, and all she can think is... wow. That's pretty far down the list on how I thought I'd die. Personally, she's had her metaphorical money on Goa'uld hand weapon, Iris malfunction, or fiery wreck. Death by power surge, alien or not, ranked somewhere along the lines of 'eaten by a T-rex', more than a few notches below 'hit by a meteor.'
And yet. There's nothing, just thoughts, just her thoughts. She's a scientist, not a preacher, but when' she'd spared a thought for the aftermath of whatever finally took her out, she'd assumed it would be... well. Not so lonely.
Damn. She would have liked to kiss Jack, first.
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Hellhounds on His Trail: E L U C I D's REVELATOR
I speak what I see.
—Saul Williams, “Elohim (1972)” (1998)
I say that one must be a seer, make oneself a seer. The poet makes himself a seer by a long, prodigious, and systematic derangement of all the senses.
—Arthur Rimbaud, “Letters of the Seer” (1871)
Every technological change begins with a spiritual revelation.
—Nathaniel Mackey (2016)
1. LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA, VOI CH’ENTRATE
The same motherfucker got us living in his hell.
—Chuck D, Public Enemy’s “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos” (1988)
I must forewarn you even now: what I intend to speak about, and in which I shall get myself entangled for reasons more serious than my incompetence, they are, I believe, without solution or exit. Two years ago, ELUCID promised that I Told Bessie could be significantly darker: “Trust me, it could be way more apocalyptic.” REVELATOR fulfills that promise. I Told Bessie introduced ELUCID as an anti-mystic mystic; on REVELATOR, we find him between the forge and the flame. He speaks from filthy tongue of god and griot, offering a <brand> of spiritual healing in the same <vein> as Dälek’s “Spiritual Healing” [for brand read “fire,” “cauterize,” “marked ownership”; for vein read “cold,” “spike,” “artery”]. At turns, his speech sounds of languages diverse, horrible dialects, accents of anger, words of agony, and voices high and hoarse. On ITB, ELUCID had just arrived in Heaven, trespassed its gates, yet stubbornly refused to sit down, to repose. On REVELATOR, he’s at Hell’s wrought-iron threshold, absolutely ruptured.
ELUCID emerges as a transgressive and dark magus speaking the omniversal language of Sun Ra. The first words spoken on REVELATOR, evidently ad-libbed, recall both Fritz Lang’s expressionistic Tower of Babel and Mister X’s psychitecture: “Metropolis…inverse overlord skyscape…” Another filmic nod would be to PTA’s There Will Be Blood (2017), where the climactic and classical rage of Daniel Plainview is unleashed as he screams: I am the Third Revelation! Plainview is, as his name intimates, an unbeliever, and he masterfully coerces preacher Eli Sunday into stating he’s a false prophet and that God is a superstition.
See, the First Revelation was in the Old Testament (Show me your commaaaandments, as ELUCID drones on “Barbarians”); the Second Revelation was Jesus sermonizing that new shit; why mightn’t it be that the Holy Spirit was preparing another? ELUCID delivers the Third Revelation; he is the Seer, the Revelator—entering through a hatch [re: portal] of Houston horrorcore and disharmonic hard bop. REVELATOR is his unexpurgated rendition of K-Rino’s Stories from the Black Book (1993). The mutant blues of ITB have turned to hypnotik hip-noize—serrated, jaggy, shrapKnel-shattered, caltrop-piercéd. We witness, firsthand, the doom gospel he has previously preached about in practice, in praxis, in the demoniac rhythms and the patterns. Ganksta N-I-P’s “Reporter From Hell” (1993) amalgamated with Rimbaud’s A Season in Hell (1873).
2. NOISOME THE EARTH IS
“Here in this hymn-deaf hell,” Rimbaud reports back, but in ELUCID’s hell all we hear are hymns—shrieks, semiwept, semisung. “A black wail is a killer,” Tracie Morris, Harryette Mullen, Jo Stewart, and Yolanda Wisher write in “4 Telling” (2021), a posse-cut poem. Production of “a satanic symphony,” Rimbaud says. Sounding like EPMD in the pulpit, Rimbaud claims “[t]heology is serious business: hell is absolutely down below.” He describes moonlight when the clock strikes twelve, “the hour when the devil waits at the belfry.” Go get a late pass, in other words, as PE presses on “Countdown to Armageddon” (1988) and ELUCID reiterates on “MBTTS” (2016). “Watch me tear a few terrible leaves from my book of the damned,” Rimbaud writes, appealing to the Devil, “...I will unveil every mystery.”
ELUCID unveils histories of mysteries during his descent. On record, he shares what he sees. He sees Rimbaud in Hell. He sees Kanye and JPEGMafia in hell, Ye with BURZUM in Gothic script emblazoned across his chest. He sees Rubble Kings with SS skulls and sigs sewn onto Flyin’ Cut Sleeves denim. He sees Black Benjie’s assassin in Hell. He sees Richard Hell in hell holding White Noise Supremacists to account for how they treated Ivan Julian (“Mutants can learn to hate each other and have prejudices too,” the latter told Lester Bangs). He says peace to SKECH185 and sees him “playing devil’s advocate with Steve Albini’s Black friend.” Finally, he sees the cerberus in hell—the “monster cruel and uncouth,” according to Dante (c. 1321)—the 3-headed anti-crowd dog. He sees its three gullets, red eyes, and unctuous beard and black and belly large. He sees the wretched reprobates. He sees muzzles filth-begrimed. He sees hellhounds here, there, and everywhere.
3. ROUND US BARK THE MAD AND HUNGRY DOGS
From forth the kennel of thy womb hath crept A hellhound that doth hunt us all to death—
—Shakespeare, Richard III, 4.4.49-50 (c. 1592-1594)
“Hands off,” ELUCID commands on “THE WORLD IS DOG,” the opening salvo on REVELATOR [salvo, a discharge of weaponry; yet also salivate: dog’s drool, secretion, spittle, spit the verse]. “It’s just happening,” he shouts—it’s happening to us; we are subjects of history, its malevolent thrum. “I can feel it ’fore you say it,” and I’ve no reason to doubt him. But allow me to litanize anyway.
In Afro-Dog: Blackness and the Animal Question (2018), Bénédicte Boisseron writes that the dog, the canis familiaris, is “an unwilling participant in the history of social injustice,” a casualty to a depraved Pavlovian conditioning. She cites an “association between canine aggression and black civil disobedience,” reflecting a “prism in which race and dogs insidiously intersect in tales of violence.” She refers to these as cyno-racial (dog-black) representations.
Bloodhounds—aptly-named barking, beastly embodiments of biopower—were “imported from Cuba or Germany” during slavery and “trained to pursue escaping slaves in both the Caribbean and the American South,” Boisseron writes. Dogs were designed to “become ferocious only when in contact with blacks.” The Narrative of James Williams, an American Slave, Who Was for Several Years a Driver on a Cotton Plantation in Alabama (1838) provides insight into this odious operation:
A negro is directed to go into the woods and secure himself upon a tree. When sufficient time has elapsed for doing this, the hound is put upon his track. The blacks are compelled to worry them until they make them their implacable enemies; and it is common to meet with dogs which will take no notice of whites, though entire strangers, but will suffer no blacks.
The Narrative of the Life and Adventures of Henry Bibb, an American Slave, Written by Himself (1849), meanwhile, offers a suspenseful, first-person account:
We had been wandering about through the cane brakes, bushes, and briers, for several days, when we heard the yelping of blood hounds, a great way off, but they seemed to come nearer and nearer to us. We thought after awhile that they must be on our track; we listened attentively at the approach. We knew it was no use for us to undertake to escape from them, and as they drew nigh, we heard the voice of a man hissing on the dogs.… The shrill yelling of the savage blood hounds as they drew nigh made the woods echo.
The training, of course, isn’t only about ghoulish intimidation; the hunt would often climax with violence. “When the slave runs away,” Boisseron explains, “the master needs to symbolically reassert his domination through a ritualized act of flesh cutting.” [FANG BITE!] Frederick Douglass spoke of such savagery: “Sometimes in hunting negroes…the slaves are torn to pieces.” Mutilation of runaway slaves, Boisseron claims, enacted “a rhetoric of edibility.” Derrida called it carno-phallogocentrism, linking the slavehunter’s virility and carnivorism, savoring “deeper shades of carnage,” as ELUCID says on “ZIGZAGZIG.” It has never relented. In the wake of Michael Brown’s murder in 2014, the DOJ issued a report that detailed “puncture wounds” left in children by the Ferguson K-9 unit. The victims of these “bite incident[s]” were always Black.
ELUCID also speaks of how victims “force-feed a war machine” on “ZIGZAGZIG”—regions and relics swallowed whole, irrevocably. In their plateau “Becoming-Intense, Becoming-Animal, Becoming-Imperceptible…” (1980), Deleuze and Guattari write: “You become animal only molecularly. You do not become a barking molar dog, but by barking, if it is done with enough feeling, with enough necessity and composition, you emit a molecular dog.” Somewhere on a desolate Yonkers street corner, DMX sleeps with a pack of strays, lying in wait.
4.
Police forces…have used dogs to break up rioting mobs…. The dogs’ snapping teeth, swift movements and indifference to the crowds’ menacing threats have made mob control a routine procedure for the forces which have the dogs.
—“A Progress Report of the Assembly Interim Committee on Governmental Efficiency and Economy on Using Dogs in Police Work, California” (1960)
If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog… [T]hat black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sicks the dog on him.
—Malcolm X (1963)
In a contemptible case of cultural exchange, two German shepherds trained by a Nazi stormtrooper were used by police in Jackson, Mississippi to attack crowds in support of the Tougaloo Nine—Black students attempting to access books from a whites-only public library. That was in 1961. [TRUST NONE!] Two years later, Bull Connor utilized dogs to disperse protestors in Birmingham, notoriously documented by Charles Moore and Bill Hudson. Hudson’s photograph of fifteen-year-old Walter Gadsden in the mongrel maw of law enforcement fills textbook pages to this day, while Moore’s photo would be aestheticized and reproduced in Andy Warhol’s Race Riots series in 1964. “Police dogs is one of the accepted practices in police riot work,” a swinish Alabama sheriff said in ’63. Not much has changed. When people demonstrated outside the White House gates after the death of George Floyd, an orange fascist—who ELUCID begrudgingly won two long-standing bets on—threatened them with “vicious dogs.”
“Dogs were once perceived as dangerous due to rabies,” Boisseron writes, “but today the black man is the one responsible for making the big dog look ‘un-kind.’” A.G. rapped about the dogs with the rabies on 1992’s “Runaway Slave,” looking backward to understand his present, but by the ’90s, the ever-evil LAPD was calling Black people “dog biscuits.” An officer in a St. Louis suburb faced suspension after posting to Facebook that Ferguson protestors “should have been put down like a rabid dog the first night.” The aggression of the dogs, Boisseron points out, has “metonymically shifted from zoonotic to a racial context.” In essence, society shouldn’t fear the dogs—society should fear a Black planet populated by Black men. [FEAR ALL!]
The messaging has frequently been mixed—deliberately muddied (mutted, we might say) to defy understanding—racism skewing absurdist. In “A Dark Brown Dog” (1901), Stephen Crane used a “little dark-brown dog…an unimportant dog, with no value” with a “short rope…dragging from his neck” for allegorical purposes. [SHORT LEASH!] A child drags the dog “toward a grim unknown,” the child’s intolerant family. The dog is by its very nature powerless, “too much of a dog to try to look to be a martyr or to plot revenge.” Eventually, the drunk father beats the dog with a coffee pot and tosses him out of a fifth-floor window, falling dead in the alley below. Crane’s well-meaning story speaks to mystery writer Stanley Ellin’s comparison of the “solicitous white intellectual” and the “arrant racist,” the former of which “sentimentalized Black lives” and “patted them on the head as one would a pet spaniel.” To retreat to such romanticizing, Ellin says, fulfills the “function of the stereotype, and it matters very little whether the stereotype is that of vicious hound or pet poodle.”
As a child of the ’80s, ELUCID was exposed to the same surfeit of televised copaganda as the rest of us. McGruff the Crime Dog colonized our commercial breaks, asking us to join the feeding frenzy against drug dealers and burglars (Take a bite out of crime!). Meanwhile, Harlem World’s Herb McGruff provided counterprogramming and warned us of the real “Dangerzone.” “The idea of dogs attacking black people has become a haunting and unresolved image in the collective memory,” Boisseron writes, or, in ELUCID’s words: Eating everyone eventually. THE WORLD IS DOG!
5.
On SEERSHIP! (2020), a project ELUCID labeled a “work of spirit”—a work of glitch-hop and runt pulses and ill-bent illbient—we hear a blare of noise at roughly the one-minute mark. That calamitous blare is sublimated into the soundfury that sets off “THE WORLD IS DOG.” ELUCID’s bogeyman-down production, in collaboration with Jon Nellen’s urgent drumming and Luke Stewart’s grave-groove bass theories, provide for the sonics of a slave escape, equal parts panic and empowerment. “The dissonance is real,” ELUCID raps on “VOICE 2 SKULL,” “—I be feeling woozy,” and that’s the vibration here. In Dred: A Tale of the Great Dismal Swamp (1865), Harriet Beecher Stowe describes how the vengeful and unforgiving escaped slave Dred defends a runaway from a hellhound:
…a party of negro-hunters, with dogs and guns, had chased this man, who, on this day, had unfortunately ventured out of his concealment. He succeeded in outrunning all but one dog, which sprang up, and, fastening his fangs in his throat, laid him prostrate within a few paces of his retreat. Dred came up in time to kill the dog…
“THE WORLD IS DOG” is pulsing and gnashing, a sequence of switchbacks and untoggled kill switches, a hyper-aural freak-out, to borrow some phrases from ELUCID’s New York Times blurb for Ornette Coleman’s “Science Fiction.” We should’ve anticipated the arrival of “THE WORLD IS DOG,” should’ve been listening to the panting precursor curses. Be it the gold chain punk asphyxiation of Soul Glo opening for ELUCID at the ITB release show at Mercury Lounge in 2022; the absurd matter we heard from his Shapednoise feature in 2023, wherein he “backhoed the graves”; or his appearance on Kofi Flexxx’s “Show Me” a few months later (I show you what it look like…)—the signs were all there. When word got out that ELUCID was spinning Miles Davis’s “Rated X” (1974), we should’ve known it was over, cataclysmically.
If “Rated X” is the model, then ELUCID has set out to attain “music’s most elusive grail,” as Gary Giddins calls it in Visions of Jazz (1998): “the promise…of an open-ended form that defies harmonic conventions and regulation eight- and twelve-bar phrases in favor of a flexible but contained form.” An anonymous internet blogger called “Rated X” a “demented church service where the organist has become possessed by an evil spirit and worshippers have fallen into a trance.” ELUCID puts the incendiary fuse in fusion—dark energy acceleration | emergent fervor, fire & brimstone | Tony Williams Lifetime-type EMERGENCIES [ecphoneme—bang—ecphoneme—bang…]. This is rap-fusion—uncontrived, channel alive.
6.
“Fire for fire, wade in the water,” ELUCID raps on “YOTTABYTE,” singing the same sorrow song of a century-plus before. “Wade in the Water” (Roud 5439) was a spiritual that reminded the runaway slaves to use streams and rivers to throw the hellhounds off the scent. “If you hear the dogs,” Harriet Tubman said, “keep going.” If “THE WORLD IS DOG” begins in a dreaded delirium, it ends [DEVOLVE!] in radical resistance.
The faded amateur photograph that graces the cover of I Told Bessie shows a man fending off a German shepherd; or, feasibly, the man is elevating the dog—healing it, calming it, exorcizing its engrained demons. Admittedly, it’s a crazy mixed-up world, a doggy dogg [dog-eat-dog] world, and the dog can occupy valences of both killer and companion. Everyone is dehumanized in the slave hunt, in the crowd dispersal. The hunters and the cops are the actual beasts (“That’s the sound of da beast,” KRS howls; “the murderous, cowardly pack,” Claude McKay snaps); the hunted resort to instinct, fearing for their lives, amygdala swelling with signals.
In Martin Delaney’s serialized novel Blake; or, the Huts of America (1859-1862), protagonist Henry Holland, a.k.a. Blacus, a.k.a. Blake, wields a “well-aimed weapon” and “slew each ferocious beast as it approached him, leaving them weltering in their own blood instead of feasting on his.” Delaney doesn’t only draw scenes of retributive slaughter; his characters also speak of how “da black folks charm de dogs.” Threats neutralized. Power harnessed. The Yorkshire Terrier on the cover of Swans’ The Seer (2012) bares Michael Gira’s chompers—he’s merged with the pup. Hip-hop auto-interpellated dog into dawg (s/o to Althusser).
7.
As we learn from “Amager,” ØKSE’s song featuring billy woods, dogs only violate at the behest of men. woods relates a narrative of detainment at Trondheim Airport. The purportedly “colorblind drug dog” exudes innocence (“flopped on the floor, head on his paws”), though its mere presence smacks of discipline and punishment. As the Norwegian customs agent “palm[s] [woods’] clean drawers,” woods sardonically reflects, “I been a nigga too long.” He “know[s] the dance” and “know[s] the damn song,” resentful of this choreography of incurable racism that has been all too common and recurring throughout his life. He understands what’s happening epistemologically (“I know they hoping… I know I’m clean…”), but he also knows “those clammy hands going from the crack of [his] ass to the weight of [his] balls” are suggestive of castration, and when you’re crossing borders, what, what, say what, say what, anything can happen. As they go through the rigamarole of “mak[ing] calls, x-ray[ing] the empty suitcase, / [And] going back through [his] pockets,” woods stews with “impotent rage,” the aforementioned emasculation working its spell. He doesn’t begrudge the animal laboring under the aegis of the Tolletaten, though: I pet the dog as I leave. Scathed but saved. He charmed de dog.
8.
After dealing with so many strays I had learned one thing: be patient.
—E.A.R.L.: The Autobiography of DMX (2003)
Perhaps no figure better illustrates the subjugation and subversion of the hellhound than DMX. In the lead up to the millennium, Dark Man X embodied the dog of vengeance; he exemplified the undoing of the dog’s quasi-innate hatred of Blackness. In ELUCID’s words, he emerged as a “whole new nigga” with “skin [untorn], eyes [ungouged], hair [unshorn].” DMX’s arrival in 1998 felt like centuries in the making. He waged a vendetta in the name of every runaway slave and Civil Rights demonstrator. He’d slept on the streets and shared the concrete with his dogs, strays like himself:
Stray dogs are normally scared of people; they’re scarred by whatever neglect or abuse put them out on the street. Or if they’re lost, they’re depressed because they can’t find their way home. But that morning I decided that no matter how long it took, I was going to get that dog to come over to me. I was going to convince him to trust me and make him mine…. I started looking all over for strays that I could catch and train for myself…
DMX charmed de dogs and the rest of us in the process. He stayed shitty, cruddy, trading the cartoonish bow-wows we’d become accustomed to (via Snoop) for fierce grrrs and arfs, elevating rap’s onomatopoeics. With “Get At Me Dog,” he turned a familiar B.T. Express funk sample feral. In the video, the most achromatic Hype Williams ever managed, X holds possession of the Tunnel crowd, on a stage but of the people. His only bling: a stainless steel choke chain that collars his neck. The black-and-white video disorients with strobe effect and negative exposure—pitch blacks suddenly transform into flashing whites. Russell Simmons and Lyor Cohen look on from the periphery of the crowd like, well, out-of-place bitches. The video captures the raw power of DMX, his stygian intensity, reminiscent of Tadayuki Naitoh’s 1971 photograph of Miles Davis. Like X, Davis harnesses his rancor and exhibits his self-possession.
The success of DMX’s subversion of the dog trope likely apexed with his Woodstock ’99 performance. Before a majority white crowd of hyperthermic slavehunter descendants, DMX rocked what Thomas Hobbs calls “blood-red dungarees.” X “growls viscerally” and “convulses” across the stage in a manner “akin to a Bad Brains gig in a sweaty punk basement.” DMX—like Dred and Blacus before him, like ELUCID to come—subdues the monstrous, cowardly pack, and has them eating Milkbones out of his hand by the end of the 45-minute set.
9.
The first thing we feel on REVELATOR is a snarling, ravenous “fang bite” and the exhale of “dog breath.” We search for alternatives: the RZArector’s fangs on 6 Feet Deep (1994) maybe, a presence that Kodwo Eshun argues is akin to a head “filled with revelations that impeach the daylight.” We might think of the parallel universe of “The Big Rock Candy Mountains” (1928) where “dogs all have rubber teeth,” but REVELATOR doesn’t offer up that heavenscape—only a hellscape where teeth tear rabidly, rapidly. The “dog fangs [which dig] into black flesh,” Boisseron writes, are “deeply ingrained in popular culture.” We’d prefer the hip-hop context for “biting,” like when Rakim invokes “biting and borrowing” on “Follow the Leader,” where “brothers tried and others died to get the formula.” We’re on a “short leash” here, but Chuck D speaks of how he “cut the leash” on “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos” and how prison bars “got [him] thinking like an animal,” and so I think we should act accordingly, tactfully, and lick our wounds.
ELUCID strafes us with 2-syllable units, iambs or IEDs, right from the start:
Fang bite Dog breath Short leash Pit fight
We’ve not felt shelling like this since the opening words of DMX’s It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot (1998):
One-two One-two Come through Run through Gun who? Oh, you don’t know what the gun do?
We’re propelled and pummeled by a Dark Enlightenment acceleration; unquestionably, we’re on our heels. ELUCID activates a sequence of 3-syllable units—anapests—as we descend into Hell:
From this height At this speed Downhill Careening
Later, the 2- and 3-syllable units alternate: “Shit that binds, / Spit out, / Ribs came spared.” Such blunt syllabics occur elsewhere on the album as well. “YOTTABYTE,” for instance, introduces a more dactylic, grounded pattern: “Hard science, / Scum gutter.” These are billboard throw-ups in Mister X’s Radiant City. They’re terse skull snaps like when Michael Gira sings, “Space cunt, / Brainwash” on “The Apostate.”
“I’m not psychic, but I’m reading,” ELUCID clamor-raps. The rapper has repeatedly denied the spiritual and supernatural in favor of tangible work, learning, reading. He much rather attend a demo or browse a bookstore than show his face at a séance or a church service. “The more I thought, the less I prayed,” he raps on “BAD POLLEN.” In this regard, he’s a dialectical materialist, much to the dismay of so many nimrod New Age seekers. ELUCID is not your self-help savior. Appropriating occult symbology in song is not inscribing sigils on the navel of a newborn. More likely he’s standing in solidarity with the child laborers pulling opal from the ochre mines of Madagascar. “Black Jesus hated bill collectors—I do the same,” he raps on “IN THE SHADOW OF IF.”
In The Conjure-Man Dies (1932), Rudolph Fisher’s Harlem murder mystery, the titular conjure-man, one N’Gana Frimbo, is the closest forebear to ELUCID, a practitioner of the aesthetics of alchemy but one who knifes through the nonsense:
There are those that claim the power to read men’s lives in crystal spheres. That is utter nonsense. I claim the power to read men’s lives in their faces…. Every experience, every thought, leaves its mark. Past and present are written there clearly…. My crystal sphere, therefore, is your face.
“I receive it, then I weigh it,” ELUCID explains. He’s no Knownot but he also knows that he knows nothing, in a Socratic sense (one day it’ll all make sense, trust me [TRUST NONE, FEAR ALL]). He’s a member of a tribe on a quest, receptive of vibes and stuff, asking questions like: What? Can I kick it? Does it live or die? Who gon’ tell me why? Who goes there? Who dare disturb the hive? He remains unflappable, constant, “still inside,” channeling his “honey child” while killa bees are on the swarm angling for the fatal sting.
Our “small world” is razed; it “devolve[s]” as hell is raised—it’s not that tricky. The dog’s got “jaws that grind” and “teeth that tear”; Dante tells us Cerberus “displayed his tusks” and “rends the spirits, flays, and quarters” his enemies. “Where’s a pit, there’s a plague,” ELUCID says, demonstrating syntactically that life is parallelism to Hell but we must maintain. Boisseron discusses the “hysteria around pit bulls” rooted in an “overblown fear of rabies,” and we watched a “plague” of reckless media representation caricature Michael Vick as the very animals he electrocuted. “Pit bulls have been historically used in America as a weapon of stigmatization against blacks,” Boisseron explains, and so every Black man takes up residence in the Bad Newz Kennel when the public deems it convenient, whether they would ever dare to hold the jumper cables or not. If the stigma doesn’t catch up to you, the sickness will. ELUCID’s “pit” evokes morgue trucks reversing up to the trenches in the potter’s field. Careful where you step, or else risk experiencing “a quick trip to glory if you slip.” Pitfalls on every corner, beneath the buildings of every block. Like DMX said on “Get At Me Dog,” If you don’t know by now, then you slippin’.
“Be not afraid,” ELUCID advises, bending Biblical. It is I. It is I. It is I. If we can keep up, he’ll usher us out of the ravaged world. If not, “don’t know, don’t care—get out my way!” ELUCID’s “in the garden,” his own private Gethsemane, agonizing and “pouring for everyone whole came before [him]” and didn’t survive the onslaught. He pours out a little liquor, and like Pac who had his “back against the brick wall, trapped in a circle, / Boxing with them suckers till [his] knuckles turn[ed] purple,” ELUCID is intoxicated by his own dogged determination. Pac was simply rewriting McKay, who likewise found himself “pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!” Glorious as it sounds, ELUCID’s exhausted—as we all are—by song’s end: voided. All he can put together are fragmented, clipped, incomplete idiomatic and figurative expressions: “razor walking”; “bridge to nowhere fast.” Still, he bites back. Like DMX, he’s “eating everyone eventually,” indiscriminately, re-establishing the order of “the world [that] is dog.” He, too, is dog. Sic ’em, and get sick wid’ it.
10. TEKNOHELL
Today the plagues of Revelation are…the disastrous results of…the irrational use of technology.
—Pablo Richard, Apocalypse: A People’s Commentary on The Book of Revelation (1995)
“Police dogs were often framed as technology,” writes Tyler Wall, a scholar of racialized state violence. He cites a Baltimore K-9 officer who claimed “[t]he dog is the most potent, versatile weapon ever invented…. You can’t shoot around corners, but dogs can go anywhere you direct them—like guided missiles.” These comments anticipated the NYPD’s rollout of actual automated, data-gathering robot dogs, of course. But “CCTV” and “YOTTABYTE” escort us into an arena of Ballardian extreme metaphors and emergent technologies—a teknohell—where “Spot bots” prowl every city block.
“CCTV,” co-produced by ELUCID and August Fanon, screeches like a dial-up modem gone diabolical—a discordant din of panic chords. They’ve programmed drum patterns around the sound of the CCTV shorting out—the dread comes in sine waves: megahertz hurts | multiplexing and motion-detecting | low-frame rate. The cameras are everywhere we look, but ELUCID splits the veil and the surveillance. The mandala is a panopticon, a C-band satellite dish for bodies to rot upon. Impaled by feedhorns. Parabolically resting in peace. In “a moment of clarity,” ELUCID fucks the noise and begs, “Don’t be mad at me.” I ain’t mad at cha. Who could begrudge the corner boy who cracks the lens of a varifocal security camera with a rock in the courtyard of the low-rises (they call it “the Pit” on The Wire)?
The ill communications that ELUCID was channeling on Armand Hammer’s We Buy Diabetic Test Strips continue to nauseate him. A year prior to that release, ELUCID told Gary Suarez that he was working to “dismantle what isn’t serving and then download and update with what does now.” For the man who “feel[s] a way about proving [his] identity to robots,” he can also acknowledge damage has already been done, which is evident in his diction. On SEERSHIP!, he despaired: “Every device I own knows my latitude.” On “NY Blanks,” he warned: “computers are listening.” In Jacques Derrida’s “Of an Apocalyptic Tone Recently Adopted in Philosophy” (1983), he describes a Tetsuo-like man/machine [MAchiNe] who loses clarity between the sender and the receiver of electronic messaging:
And there is no certainty that man is the exchange [le central] of these telephone lines or the terminal of this endless computer. No longer is one very sure who loans his voice and his tone to the other in the Apocalypse; no longer is one very sure who addresses what to whom. But by a catastrophic overturning here more necessary than ever, one can just as well think this: as soon as one no longer knows who speaks or who writes, the text becomes apocalyptic.
In this sense, REVELATOR is, at turns, an apocalyptic text. Much of ELUCID’s work has been. The cover of SEERSHIP! features a P1 phosphor font choice, as if it’s destined for a monochrome monitor. One might come to believe ELUCID writes in matrices of terminal green.
11.
In Fisher’s The Conjure-Man Dies, N’Gana Frimbo is questioned by Dr. Archer:
“You actually are something of a seer, aren’t you?” “Not at all…. I filled in the gaps, that is all. I have done more with less. It is my livelihood.” “But—how? The accuracy of detail—”
“Even if it were as curious as you suggest, it should occasion no great wonder. It would be a simple matter of transforming energy, nothing more. So-called mental telepathy, even, is no mystery, so considered. Surely the human organism cannot create anything more than itself; but it has created the radio-broadcasting set and receiving set. Must there not be within the organism, then, some counterpart of these? I assure you, doctor, that this complex mechanism which we call the living body contains its broadcasting set and its receiving set, and signals sent out in the form of invisible, inaudible, radiant energy may be picked up and converted into sight and sound by a human receiving set properly tuned in.”
ELUCID showcases his broadcasting set and his receiving set, but his carries the outlaw spirit of an illegal cable box or the pirate radio signal from the short-lived Dread Broadcasting Corporation out of West London in the 1980s. ELUCID as DJ Lepke in limbo.
12.
The title “VOICE 2 SKULL” evokes a note to self, a Nextel push-to-talk, or a voice-to-text: ELUCID as fully automated, as a cybernetic MC. But the human essence—the flesh, blood, and bone—is still there: “I get up before everyone and lose my mind first— / For even just an hour, I work in sound and feeling—sometimes fury, / Asking the whys and hows when lies turn to vows.” That is, he grinds; his work ethic, the grating of gears. He starts his day, travels where he will, but always “free roaming” and “pinging stupid” as a “transcontinental satellite receiver freaking forth.” On “XOLO,” as tek, he “reach[es] inside—only to [his] elbow, / [And] pull[s] it back out like [he] was rewound.” Like a VHS tape, or Betamax. Functioning as some new plastic idea. We’re all wired and wasting away with “mirror[s] in pockets” as we busy ourselves “looking hard in the camera.” Not squinting to make sense, merely modeling a manufactured exterior.
13.
Digital overlords don’t need free promo…
—ELUCID, ØKSE’s “Skopje”
The teknohell is ever-present on REVELATOR—you can’t escape its server rack bracket clutches. “Defrag the files,” ELUCID raps on “BAD POLLEN,” attempting to counter what Nathaniel Mackey calls a technology of decay. RFIDs, modems, CCTVs, pagers—all this tech isn’t anachronistic; it’s timeless—e-waste salvaged or scavenged—but ELUCID evolves, keeps it moving [...like a moving target], even if that means “bloody fingers on the keypad,” which we heard of on Valley of Grace. His own magnetic fields fuck up electronics; he lives in the “chaos hour shadow play” mentioned on “THE WORLD IS DOG.” “The situation’s unreal,” as Chuck D says on “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos.” “There are no hard distinctions between what is real and what is unreal,” Harold Pinter responds. Ultimately, ELUCID is “wholly unimpressed by your social media metrics,” at least according to “MBTTS.” He offers up “brick and mortar rhyme for distorted time” and “offline [is where] [his] core thrives.” He knows what’s what: these gadgets and gizmos are “soon to be rendered useless: and then what?,” as he inquired on Small Bills’ “Even Without You.” Merchandise is Brand New Second Hand as you sit in an ergonomic swivel chair before Roots Manuva’s radiation-emitting dusty microwave. ELUCID searches for a truth beyond the motherboard.
14.
I tell you this in truth; this is not only the end of this here but also and first of that there…the end of history…the death of God, the end of religions…the end of the subject, the end of man, the end of the West…the end of the end, the end of ends, that the end has always already begun, that we must still distinguish between closure and end…. it is also the end of metalanguage on the subject of eschatological language…
—Derrida
…so let me shut the fuck up.
—Editor’s note [me]
Tell me a lie, tell me a truth becomes ELUCID’s Max Headroom mantra for “CCTV,” minus the sputtering, the glitching. We like to think that the “truth [will] find you where you at—it’s fine, it’s fair,” he raps on “RFID,” but, more often than not, revealing the truth requires trying. Your responsibility, Toni Cade Bambara insists, is to “try to tell the truth,” and “[t]hat ain’t easy.” It’s tough to summon the strength when we “have rarely been encouraged and equipped to appreciate the fact that the truth works.” The machinery of lies and disinformation come fine-tuned with a gleaming chrome finish. As for truth, we’re numb to its virtue; neutered by negative thoughts and clouded past experiences. But if we can pursue truth, prove it, and impress it upon our enemies, according to Bambara, “it releases the Spirit.”
The “cattle prod [will] shock you back some reality,” ELUCID raps. But truth can seem a hackneyed notion in the wrong hands. In Baldwin’s “Going to Meet the Man” (1965), Jesse, an abusive cop who takes sadistic pleasure in cattle prodding Civil Rights protestors, is charged with bringing the singing of jailed demonstrators to an end. He targets the “ringleader” of the group: “I put the prod to him and he jerked some more and he kind of screamed—but he didn’t have much voice left.” The protestor refuses to call for the others to stop singing, either out of defiance or debilitation from the beating he’s suffered, so Jesse’s frustration grows: “...the prod hit his testicles, but the scream did not come, only a kind of rattle and a moan.” Revisionist history can’t absolve the truth of that barbarity.
In one final [ex]plosive shout before “CCTV” transitions, ELUCID says, “Steal me your blues.” A call for reappropriation of what has already been plundered on a mass scale. The blues are never blameless. ELUCID collects blues and deranges ’em—traditional | twelve-bar | crowbarred | prison blues—deep cobalt with sapphiric crazing. REVELATOR most obviously invokes Blind Willie Johnson’s version of “John the Revelator” (1930), what with his scum gutter growl of Who’s that writin’? Jeff Place called Johnson a “guitar evangelist,” a man who was blinded by lye in his eyes at seven [the means of his marring and age should not go unnoticed], a reenactment, perhaps, of John the Revelator’s being dunked into the boiling oil cauldron—not nearly the “musky oils” ELUCID spoke of on “Obama Incense.” The teknohell is home to a Victor Talking Machine, no doubt, and the 78 RPM shellac record of Robert Johnson’s “Hellhound on My Trail” (1937) spins centripetal. RJ’s bottleneck slide screams phoenix as he sings, I got to keep movin’. For protection from the dogs—zig, zag, zig.
August Fanon and ELUCID sacrifice the frenetic for a straightforward refrain to conclude “CCTV,” something to mesmerize with layered vocals, subliminal messages not so sub- that they’re unmanageable. Take freedom: ELUCID wants you to hear the message, the charge. “All power to oppressed people” isn’t just a slogan for him; for others, as we know, it undeniably is. He asks for a “red light on the virtue signal for the come-latelys”; or, as PremRock says on ShrapKnel’s “Human Form”: “Closeted moderates post black squares then act scared of actual progress.” On “NY Blanks,” ELUCID “refuse[d] to kneel and pray for hashtag another slain name, / On the dashcam frame of sight.” Technology pervades every moment of life and language—from sonogram to dashcam and the SMS notifications of each and all else in-between.
15.
Child Actor’s production on “YOTTABYTE” traps us inside the machine with hex bolts knocked loose and rattling around. Again, technology works its way into everything. “Stints and priors, / Sweat labor, / August sun,” ELUCID raps, seemingly on a chain gang—the teknohell is a maximum security prison: biometrics | video analytics | signal-jamming | duress alarms. Data storage facilities bursting at the seams.
“Terabyte, gigabyte, niggas bite,” ELUCID spit on “Bitter Cassava,” adding with a whiff of cybersexuality, “I heard ass taste better in the summertime.” Do androids dream of having a romp with the provocatively named Deckard? Do Nexus-6 replicants have rape fantasies? “Came out the pussy and wrote a classic,” ELUCID says on “YOTTABYTE,” and I’m left wondering what Jodorowsky’s love machine from Holy Mountain (1973) might have to do with this. Cold and sterile tech-infused corporeality | conjugal visits with slinky cyborgs | proto-pornbots.
“SKP” presents as more sound poem than song—its patterns erratic, and therefore erotic—unpredictable with vocals pitched down and up arbitrarily. Andrew Broder provides a mellowed pulse backdrop, tunneling toward something visceral, and not the gear boxes and springs, the sensors and metal tubes, that make up a robot’s innards. ELUCID has previously proclaimed he was “a dyke in a past life,” a Sister Outsider standing alongside Audre Lorde: “Images of women flaming like torches adorn and define the borders of my journey, stand like dykes between me and the chaos.” “SKP”—Some Kind of Power—draws inspiration from Lorde’s “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” (1984), which reframes eroticism, removes it from the teknohell.
I know you know the codes, ELUCID says. His lover has the key—they each possess a copy. And the key is crucial, at the crux of the relation; listen to what woods says on “INSTANT TRANSFER”: “It’s all skeleton keys on the keyring I keep, / Keys I never seen before for places I never even been, / Luxury cars—I key ’em and go to sleep.” Keys, keys, keys, as Angela Carter writes in “The Bloody Chamber” (1979)—to china cabinets and safes and every other secret place. The narrator’s husband, though, forbids his young wife from using one key in particular. Not the key to his heart, as she presumes (“skeleton key to ya heart,” ELUCID echoes on “CCTV”), but “the key to [his] enfer.” He teases and tantalizes her and throws all the keys into her lap as “the cold metal chill[s] [her] thighs through [her] thin muslin frock.” Something’s not quite right; “we was down singing off-key: how?” ELUCID says on “XOLO.” The key might crack the code | stroking and fondling | heavy petting | as artificial intelligence records the taps and timbre of your keystrokes, stealing sensitive passwords—a sensate focus therapy for anonymous internet users. Probably best to keep the key under the mat.
“The erotic is a considered source of power and information within our lives,” Lorde writes. ELUCID answers: “Knowing is enough—deepest core informing all.” The erotic, Lorde notes, “offers a well of replenishing and provocative force to the woman who does not fear its revelation.” “From here forth,” ELUCID says, “you spit, you scream, you burn my tongue too raw—be soft.” Erotic, Lorde explains, is from the Greek eros, “born of Chaos, and personifying power and harmony.” Harm may precede harmony; pain prior to reaching “beyond the posture and the program.”
“Call me out my name,” ELUCID commands, “I’ll be the one you cum for.” Even if he brushes against the sophomoric at times (“Baby, please pop that pussy for breakfast” would be one such example from the archives), ELUCID’s sex raps swerve sophisticated. Lorde says the erotic is often “confused with its opposite, the pornographic,” which would demonstrate sensation without feeling. When ELUCID says “call me out my name” to his lover, he’s exploring “how acutely and fully [they] can feel in the doing.” Lorde explains, “[A]s we begin to recognize our deepest feelings, we begin to give up…being satisfied with suffering and self-negation…with the numbness.”
The technological bent to “SKP” climaxes with connectivity (¿Tu Tienes WiFi?)—a mutual dependance—“power which comes from sharing deeply any pursuit with another person.” In 2020, ELUCID told Tim Fish about how a trip to South Africa inspired Valley of Grace (2017): “...my wife was there, she was still my girlfriend then, and she was working at a law center, working towards protecting sex workers…. So being there, she’s at work for at least 8 hours a day, and I’m in the flat just hanging out….” At the end of “SKP,” ELUCID declares “in a union made now, tomorrow anything…,” and we feel the phantom phrase “…is possible” in the absence that follows.
“There are many kinds of power,” Audre Lorde tells us, “used and unused, acknowledged or otherwise.” 2Pac, for instance, never achieved ELUCID’s level of erotic power in song. On “How Do U Want It?” (1996), Pac was forward with his proposal, seeking consent (“Tell me is it cool to fuck? / Did you think I come to talk? / Am I fool or what?”), but copped to his preference for pornographic perversions, the “positions on the floor” he invokes: “Ironic, ’cause I’m somewhat psychotic.” Lick before you bite, ELUCID raps on “BAD POLLEN,” his own nod to the erotic/psychotic dichotomy. But it’s more tempered than Pac’s imprudence. He seems to taunt Pac’s shortcomings on “YOTTABYTE”:
Wiggle with the lights on, Ripple off thrust, Ooh, it’s just us, Yes, I need it how I want it, Feel like Southern California with my belly full…
Not to say ELUCID’s erotic power is purely PG-13; it’s not. On “BAD POLLEN,” he “wake[s] up and thrust[s] inside [his] missus, / Two fistfuls of hair, [his] face buried.” Flashes of a possessive desire, an “I Wanna Be Your Dog” energy: So messed up—I want you here…in my room…I want you here. But even when ELUCID goes raunchy, it’s organic matter, raw materials—mud and bone and verdant muck—not nuts and bolts and a nexus of cables. His trysts always involve talking out the mud, crashing through the walls…, scorch, [and] stimuli response.
16.
I might work with the wires wet if we talking ’bout power…
—“INSTANT TRANSFER”
With SKECH185’s analog(ue) tape dispenser on loan (also note the Basinskian “disintegration tapes” mentioned on “IKEBANA”), ELUCID patches and splices the first bars of “INSTANT TRANSFER” in a terse trimeter:
Five side, keep the tape warm, Wrapped rays weighing way more, Racks raid how we wage war, Slack walk to a main course.
The alliterative and consonantal groupings (“wrapped rays”; “racks raid”; “weighing way”; “we wage war”; “slack walk”; “keep the tape”) and slant rhymes present an inconsistency that models a human touch—the warmth of the analog tape undermining digital media and the instantaneous [gratification and otherwise] operations of an ATM withdrawal, just as we see the plastic bank card repeatedly guided into the multi-function maw by a human hand in the “INSTANT TRANSFER” video.
Nostalgia is no retreat from the teknohell. Even on a memory song like “HUSHPUPPIES,” the hum of Integrated Tech Solutions interferes when ELUCID recalls the “static sizzle with the grease in stereo”—frying fish and the kitchen TV set in concert with one another. “HUSHPUPPIES” feels like a loose adaptation of Henry Thomas’s “Fishing Blues” (1928), a fond recollection of fish as sustenance. Both ELUCID and Thomas begin with an urgency; Thomas “went up on the hill about twelve o’clock,” and ELUCID speaks in a tongue-twisted, nursery rhyme: “Must find fried fish—it’s Friday.”
REVELATOR has us fearing for the worst: fish fried in sulfuric waters, gilled vertebrates pulled from the River Styx—but it’s not that. “HUSHPUPPIES” feels down-home, a brief view of before, of Bessie-time, of salve and saviors and stove-top safe haven. “Put on your skillet,” Henry Thomas sings, “Mama gonna cook ’em with the shortenin’ bread.” “HUSHPUPPIES” works as a child-vision folk song, much like the “choking on a church mint” episode of “Guy R. Brewer.” ELUCID is an artist composing twenty-first century folk ditties, intent on inclusion in the Roud Index. I’m wary of the “sugar water, lemon sugar, water lemon” lyric sequence, though—the words transmit, mutate, like a gain-of-function in the kitchen sink. I feel he’s trapped speaking with “the language of the on-again/off-again future, and it is digital,” as Laurie Anderson once said.
17. PEOPLE TEND TO THINK THAT A PAGER’S FOUL
In 1991, Q-Tip asked us if we knew the importance of a skypager. The responsibility fell to Phife Dawg to explain it in full:
The “S” in skypage really stands for sex, ………………………………………………….. At times I miss the pager so you don’t get vex, Having bad days like a voodoo hex, Conceptually, a pager is so complex that I be standing on the verge, ready to flex.
ELUCID portals us to that very ’90s dimension to pick up on Phife’s “-ex” rhyme scheme.
Skypage text, alphanumeric, Blind days—rain taste metallic, Dark roads lined with tall pine, Fire tongue in the annex.
Where Phife’s explication was elementary with its backronyming and monosyllabic rhymes, its simile and succinct storytelling, ELUCID’s post-millennial penchant for broken language and Holocene imagery elevates the archaic device of the skypager to the status of fetish item. One can see the huddled assemblage of survivors circled around the faint LCD glow on the annex floor, the acid rain falling through the collapsed roof.
18.
“14.4” drags us through the mass hysterics of Y2K mania with Saint Abdullah and The Lasso layering assorted ambient jazz touches to the Tron grid. ELUCID and SKECH185 fuck with the trellis modulation, raising a “Napster ’99” download speed from the titular 14.4kbps. They float over dial tones: “I dial in; you dial it down,” ELUCID says as he receives the signal from Armand Hammer’s “Landlines.” He’s charged with a “couple hundred-thousand watts,” so “do hold the line.” ELUCID and SKECH rap with “revolutionary millennial movements,” in the words of Eugene D. Genovese, “born in social catastrophe or in the fear of impending catastrophe.” Still, though, in the West African tradition, “time is cyclical and eternal; the religious tradition cannot then therefore readily provide for an apocalypse.” Fear all? Maybe it’s more fear none than we first thought.
I sometimes configure ELUCID as Aaron Dilloway (of Wolf Eyes, and—for our purposes here at present—their 2006 limited-release Dog Jaw) with a contact mic—full-contact stage presence | kilowatts killing | bringing the pain in a really real way. He wades in distortion, awash in both antiquated and active teknology (“*69—hit redial,” he remarks on “XOLO”). Hell is populated with tek—yottabytes of it like motes in sunlight, refracting his digipoetics. He announces proudly, “Afrika Islam loop in the key of my Lord,” which is a permanent—nearly park jamming—register for him to operate within. He dials in to Zulu Beats on WHBI 105.9 in New Jeruzalem and cracks codes for the afterfuture.
19. THE HAINTS OF HAM RADIO
Never polemical, ELUCID makes aslant references to oppressive histories, dating back antediluvian. One second he’s “in ya sundown town holding [his] dick dolo,” and the next he’s bouncing to bear witness to an “illegal chokehold.” He time travels from crabgrass frontiers to a sidewalk slab on Staten Island. He may be “too old to comfortably rock logos,” but he’s in-the-ever-know [and the ever-now] of former lives—he embodies Gift of Gab running from Feds in his red Pro-Keds, and he hits the racks of Saks Fifth Avenue with the Lo Lifes. Nowadays, though, he’s Naomi Klein’s No Logo incarnate. In another nanosec, he’s a po-mo narcocorrido singer reading “the note like Chalino, except it’s off the SIM card.” He’s hopping through traversable wormholes of genealogical blues “from Ham to Cush to Nimrod.” Settle our assassin’s eyes on Ham, hm?
In A Season in Hell, Rimbaud “set out in search of the true kingdom of the children of Ham.” Wyatt Mason argues that part of Rimbaud’s legend can be attributed to the rumors of him as “the scoundrel who sold slaves in Africa.” Though it’s accurate that Rimbaud was free roaming, sub-Saharan, his vagabondage through the Horn of Africa might not have included slave-trading—that point is disputed by his biographers. In The Rebel (1951), Camus called Rimbaud a “bourgeois trader” of percussion rifles and Ethiopian coffee, but made no mention of slaves. In 1994, China Achebe stated that “[w]hen Rimbaud became a slave trader, he stopped writing poetry” because poetry and slave trading “cannot be bedfellows.” When he wasn’t tagging up the Luxor Temple on a lark in Egypt or running guns across the border into Shewa land, Rimbaud’s travelogue was interlarded with diagnoses of typhoid, synovitis, and osteosarcoma—his right leg eventually lopped off. Perhaps we can ascribe his disease-ridden body to A Season in Hell’s most profane moments, such as when he writes, “I’m an animal, a nxggxr. But I can be saved. You’re all fake nxggxrs…”
The so-called “curse of Ham,” a blasphemy on Black people courtesy of Christian whites, has long contaminated the discourse—a shibboleth adorning the flowstones and helictites of the teknohell. “According to the scriptural defense of slavery,” Eugene D. Genovese writes in Roll Jordan Roll: The World the Slaves Made (1974), “...the enslavement of the blacks by the whites fulfilled the biblical curse of Ham.” But Genovese’s research indicates “the slaves did not view their predicament as punishment for the collective sin of black people. No amount of white propaganda could bring them to accept such an idea.” When ELUCID talks of “hammers hang[ing] on loop” on “THE WORLD IS DOG,” or “hammers out the Hummer” on “VOICE 2 SKULL,” I construe this cargo pants weaponry, this pakinamac in the back of the Ac’ (or Hummer), as a means of countering white propaganda, comparable to Treach’s chainsaw or Havoc’s scythe. Throughout REVELATOR, we find ELUCID going ham—hard as a motherfucker—but ELUCID’s too humble for any Tisci gilded throne. Instead, think of him as John Henry driving steel through the carpal tunnels of sinners and thieves. He sings a Scaramangan screed as he works, something gleaned from Seven Eyes, Seven Horns (1998): “Alphabetic hammer, magnetic grammar.”
ELUCID advances with “apocalyptic movement,” which Derrida defines as “the gesture of denuding or of affording sight,” a gesture which is sometimes “more guilty or more dangerous,” such as when Noah gets krunk in his tent and “Ham sees his father’s genitals.” ELUCID sees through the myths, the slander; instead, he exposes us to a soundtrack of staticky swells as he ascends out of the teknohell. I imagine the noise is a replication of what Joyce’s radio in Finnegans Wake (1939) sounds like. Here’s that signal recounted superlatively:
tolvtubular high fidelity daildialler, as modem as tomorrow afternoon and in appearance up to the minute…equipped with supershielded umbrella antennas for distance getting and connected by the magnetic links of a Bellini-Tosti coupling system with a vitaltone speaker, capable of capturing skybuddies, harbour craft emittences, key clickings, vaticum cleaners, due to woman formed mobile or man made static and bawling the whowle shack and wobble down in an eliminium sounds pound so as to serve him up a melegotumy marygoraumd, eclectrically filtered for allirish earths and ohmes.
In Kodwo Eshun’s More Brilliant Than the Sun (1998) | [“MBTTS,” ahem], he writes that “Long-distance telecom systems intensifies sensations of imminent Revelation.” Oh, indeed.
20. POST-INDUSTRIAL DOOM GOSPEL FOR THE GODLESS
On “Old Magic,” ELUCID announced himself as the “revelator, armed and dangerous,” so nothing he does on this album should come as a surprise. This lot of doom gospel spells shatters expectations, though. “I’ve been revelatin’” is what he told us on “Smile Lines,” and he’s yet to cease or even slow. The Book of the Seven Seals bulges, busting its binding and bending back its raised bands. REVELATOR, lyrics transcribed and beats notated in neumes, passes as ELUCID’s Book of Revelation.
I see it all, Michael Gira throat-sings. I see it all I see it all I see it all I see it all I see it all… over the sunn oh godspeed charnelhouse chanting and gunmetal grind of SWANS’ “The Seer” (2012). ELUCID is all-seeing as well—omniscient shit. It wasn’t always this way. On “Blame the Devil” from Save Yourself, ELUCID admitted that “revelation had [him] spooked.” In his preface to The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God (1932), George Bernard Shaw describes the Book as “a curious record of the visions of a drug addict which was absurdly admitted to the canon under the title of Revelation,” which only adds to the terror for an ’80s child who grew up with crushed crack vials underfoot.
On “Blame the Devil,” ELUCID saw the “seven eyes, seven crows” and “was lost.” “Now I’m found,” he would continue, “End of days—amazing time, / Everybody’s got a word—mine just happens to rhyme.” No longer cowering in church corners, surrounded by the congregants of what he has called a “death cult,” ELUCID’s Revelation remix has a liberation theology reverb. Pablo Richard’s Apocalypse: A People’s Commentary on The Book of Revelation (1995) places the curious record in the context of revolutionary power:
Revelation arises in a time of persecution—and particularly amid situations of chaos, exclusion, and ongoing oppression…. Revelation transmits a spirituality of resistance and offers guidance for organizing an alternative world…. Revelation is wrath and punishment for the oppressors, but good news (gospel) for those excluded and oppressed by the empire of the beast…. Revelation teaches us to imagine the present and final eschatology with a sense of joy and hope…. The book of Revelation is helping to create a new historical and liberating language.
21.
In The Book of Revelation: Apocalypse and Empire (1990), scriptural scholar Leonard L. Thompson points to the difficulties of understanding the “symbolic, metaphoric, even bizarre language of the seer.” John the Revelator confessed to being “in the spirit” when he composed the book, what Eugene D. Genovese might call “religious frenzy” in another context. Thompson receives the Book of Revelation as a nesting language, one in which “highly symbolic language” nests into “ever-larger contexts—ultimately into a cosmic vision that includes the whole social order, the totality of nature, and suprahuman divinities that invade but transcend both society and nature.” I think it wise to receive ELUCID’s lyrics in a similar manner. Lucien Goldmann might call it Towards a Sociology of the Rap Album. “The seer tends to develop his material concentrically into ever-widening rings,” Thompson contends. ELUCID reps such a structure in his verses, in his songs, even lending his own phraseology to the process, be it those “shimmer rims spinning loopy” on “VOICE 2 SKULL” or the “orbitings” we hear about on “IKEBANA.” ELUCID will “leave the meter running” only to “trigger doomsday.” He sips “Ethiopian coffee” and seconds later “space junk” floats by. We’re hipped to the particular and the panoramic. Scaramanga was similarly skilled. Samuel Diamond writes of how “Seven Eyes, Seven Horns” is “as much a meditation on symbology, semiotics, and brand identity as it is an erudite MC’s spin on a passage from the Book of Revelation.” Or, as Scaramanga Shallah himself says on the song, “What a script…” [as in, whew].
22. MYSTIC STYLEZ
All a mystery…
—“THE WORLD IS DOG”
…nothing could have been more impressive than this cool, deliberate deep voice, stating a mystic paradox in terms of level reason.
—Rudolph Fisher, The Conjure-Man Dies (1932)
To bring it back to that damnéd Derrida essay once again [back is the incredible], MC Deconstruction redefines “apocalypse” as revelation: “Apokaluptō, I disclose, I uncover, I unveil, I reveal the thing that can be a part of the body, the head or the eyes, a secret part, the sex or whatever might be hidden, a secret thing, the thing to be dissembled, a thing that is neither shown nor said…” This revelation “not only affords seeing but also affords hearing/understanding.”
We’ve prior seen ELUCID as mystagogue—a mystik journeyman, a Walkman invader—he whose function is to initiate us into the mystery. As Guru was above the clouds, the mystagogue positions himself, according to Derrida, “above the crowd [which] he manipulates through…a crypted language,” but, despite what some dum-dums [to borrow a term from diggity Das EFX] may argue, ELUCID is not beyond understanding. We must strive to understand misunderstanding; we must endeavor forevermore to miss understanding. Those who throw fits and fail to accept these norms—I have to presume—have not been listening to hip-hop very long or well. “Words mean things but don’t have to,” ELUCID declared with Derridean flair on “Split Tongue.” “[I]f anything has outlived its usefulness it is ‘coherent’ metaphor, one with explicit contours,” writes E. M. Cioran in The Trouble with Being Born (1973). “It is against such metaphor that poetry has unceasingly rebelled, to the point where a dead poetry is a poetry afflicted with coherence.” “I’m okay with not understanding,” ELUCID said on Small Bills’ “Here Be Dragons,” “—I’m okay in the dark.” Dark Man X knows all directions.
Listening to ELUCID’s music, you enter a delirium, which Derrida refers to as a Verstimmung—“a social disorder and a derangement, an out-of-tune-ness…. The tone leaps and rises when the voice of the oracle takes you aside, speaks to you in private code, and whispers secrets to you.” On “IKEBANA,” ELUCID cops to “talking out [his] head, a fever set in.” Like Rimbaud in Obock, shivering, with his knee gauzed over, not a poetic thought to be found.
23. SOUND & CEREMENT
Sound has a grammar to it—believe me—that will cause that thing that you call bending to open up in a way you won’t believe it.
—Ornette Coleman (2005)
…I just bend the rhyme…
—“Sir Benni Miles” (2021)
ELUCID, more than any other active MC, embodies a compositional approach that conflates poetics and musicality in a manner that doesn’t favor or diminish either—symbiotically rendered, synchronistically flexed: the orphic bend. In an epistolary novel by Nathaniel Mackey, Orphic Bend denotes a fictional album title of a fictional band. ELUCID asks on “RFID”: “Why play if I can’t bend the rules?” To forbid ELUCID these ludic junctures would be ludacris, a loss of not only file data but of finely wired rap filigree. ELUCID stays bent in both senses—his sentence inclinations, his word inebriations—bent like Miles Davis’s mouthpiece; dead bent like DOOM’s swilling death-drive to fund these experiments. These are “games I win at—mark me,” ELUCID gloats, but he also invites us to “share this reality.” If we’re willing, he’ll leave none of us behind; he won’t orphan us.
“We’re all eventually orphans,” Mackey has said. Elsewhere (namely, “Sound and Sentiment, Sound and Symbol [1987]), he kindles, he forges, the meaning of orphan and Orphic, “an orphan being anyone denied kinship, social sustenance, anyone who suffers, to use Orlando Patterson’s phrase, ‘social death.’” Mackey continues:
Song is both a complaint and a consolation dialectically tied to that ordeal, where in back of “orphan” one hears echoes of “orphic,” a music which turns on abandonment, absence, loss. Think of the black spiritual “Motherless Child.” Music is wounded kinship’s last resort…. Music is prod and precedent for a recognition that the linguistic realm is also the realm of the orphan…. This recognition troubles, complicates and contends with the unequivocal referentiality taken for granted in ordinary language…. Poetic language is language owning up to being an orphan.
ELUCID has previously instructed us on “the difference between loneliness and being lonely,” referencing like a hand reaching out—to Gwendolyn Brooks, who feels the “under buzz” of loneliness. But ELUCID’s bent is in the direction of populating his cathedral with the motherless children of his bastard style.
24. INSIDE REPEATING NUMBERS
To stave off the dogs, the teknohell, and the unknown opps, ELUCID makes endless calculations but with an imprecise science. One can imagine the setting for such calculations resembling N’Gana Frimbo’s consultation room, what with “obliquely downcast light” and “lateral walls…adorned with innumerable strange and awful shapes.” Those strange and awful shapes—like glyphs carved onto dusty clay tablets—included “gruesome black masks with hollow orbits, some smooth and bald, some horned and bearded; small misshapen statuettes of near-human creatures, resembling embryos dried and blackened in the sun…forbidding designs.” The conjure-man’s mantelpiece showcases a “murderous-looking club, resting diagonally.” The club is actually “the lower half of a human femur, [with] one extremity bulging into wicked-looking condyles, the other…covered with a silver knob representing a human skull.” ELUCID holds the club like a stylus, dealing in tally marks and totalities until the skull smudges out an answer.
Numbers are concrete, seemingly. “Numbers don’t lie, but they damn sure don’t tell stories either,” ELUCID rapped on “NY Blanks,” skeptical of statistics. On “IKEBANA,” he starts with “3800 out the credits.” I ain’t count it, he admits, “but it’s sweat labor.” He narrows the narrative with estimates: “ten or something”; “on time, but off-key”; “almost, almost over…so close…almost over….” These are “complicated chemicals” that only work to deepen what Rimbaud called “numerical visions.” Do the math. On “YOTTABYTE,” it’s “dead money [and] thirteen guineas for a pickaninny piano.” On “BAD POLLEN,” he “brought a trunkful of tiny violins to the bloodletting.” ELUCID can “play one on each finger for every seven bodies.” These aren’t exact measurements or accurate costs. As he says on “INSTANT TRANSFER,” he’s “counting up in the dark” (in Frimbo’s consultation room, right?). Persevering and perseverating on “14.4”: “System error, / Less than zero, / Humanity pending.” Sounding like he needs to get his affairs in order.
The numbers game inevitably leads to money—nasty business like toxic assets and credit derivatives—and money is time; time, money. “Can’t clock the kills,” ELUCID says on “THE WORLD IS DOG,” echoing Master Ace in ’90 (“Can’t Stop the Bumrush”) and Jay-Z in ’96 (“Can’t Knock the Hustle”)—earning miles while on the clock as a touring musician, tallying transatlantic and domestic flights. But is there ever a time when he’s not “waiting on money, thinking of murder,” as he raps on “BAD POLLEN”? Does the hustle, the bumrush, the killing ever cease? Or is it an interminable loop of episodes mimicking bell hooks’ oft-quoted (by all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons) opening sentence from “Killing Rage: Militant Resistance” (1995)? “I am writing this essay sitting beside an anonymous white male that I long to murder,” hooks wrote. “I’m at the age they start to count my nights out,” ELUCID raps on “VOICE 2 SKULL,” because death or revolution seems “a black power nap away” (“IKEBANA”). “Time wore us out,” according to ELUCID, speaking in the past tense as if the deal has already gone down, the jig is up, the end is here. The “24-hour drones” he mentions on “14.4” survey the damage. Too easy to get greedy and selfish at the end (“Give me a minute…give me five…”), shuffling off this mortal coil as “we wait—who knows the hours?”
25.
“IKEBANA,” despite the time-and-numbers crunch, sketches a scene of restorative habits, a survival guide for the godless. It falls short of He-is-risen optimism (Orpheus is the figurehead here, not Jesus), but we’re headed from hell to the heliosphere. ELUCID wishes the world “good morning” with “oatmeal” and “Ethiopian coffee.” He’s calculating to find peace. He feels that “everybody knew” but him—crying it out; they must know the secret to peace. Miscalculations leave him envious. Everyone laughing at his ignorance, at “all [his] comings and goings”—the state-of-the-art GPS tracking of the teknohell. RFIDs on the heels of his feet triggering field detectors.
The solution is a sometimes-turn inward: Being alive, I must look up. If the Ethiopian coffee doesn’t cut it, he’ll order an “everything bagel with the tofu scallion” or “vacuum the whip” (as he does on “VOICE 2 SKULL”). We’ve heard of his domestic resolve before. On woods’ “As the Crow Flies,” ELUCID was “cleaning up [his] kitchen, / Emptying the fridge, bleaching counters, [and] sweeping corners.” By placing his “silverware in order,” he rebuilds the rubbled world. Peace is plucked from panic elsewhere, as on “YOTTABYTE” where he’s “squatting in a Barcelona hotel room playing Wu-Tang Forever,” observing the world rather than his phone, nourishing himself through sights rather than storing up the cache and cookies of his frequently visited sites.
After many calculations, the epiphany points toward what he details on “BAD POLLEN”: “I squeeze my children’s hand and walk harder against the wind,” the same wind that rustles the dead roadside bracken, as Cormac McCarthy writes in The Road (2006). ELUCID turns to his children, his family. woods, it should be stated, does the same, as noted on “Niggardly (Blocked Call)”: “I walk ’em to school, then the park, / Hold they little hands when we cross the street.” A small step to cross the street is far simpler than crossing the Rubicon.
“IKEBANA” is another ELUCID and Jon Nellen production, and Gabriel’s muted horn is buried in the mix of the song’s bridge, a distant and dour reveille as ELUCID sings softly. As he bemoans everybody knowing what he doesn’t, Nellen’s percussion pulls us to where ELUCID wants to be: looking up. Being alive, he’s looking up out of hell. We hear his will to struggle, to survive, and to exist, but we also hear our will to “look up,” or research meaning, reflected—manufacturing it if we have to—as in, “You must learn” (life being nothing more than a boogie down production). Improve ourselves through awareness of others, of our loved ones especially, of our situation within all the scattered “scorching space junk, x’s and orbitings.” You must change your life, in Rilke’s words.
26. MAN THREATENS LANDLORD
Kill your landlord, no doubt…
—“Roaches Don’t Fly” (2021)
“SLUM OF A DISREGARD” celebrates thirty years of skullduggery since The Coup’s “Kill My Landlord” (1993), but underhanded housing policies—what ELUCID calls “comforts of material conditions core-rotted”—are nothing new. Look at Langston Hughes’ “Ballad of the Landlord” (1940):
Landlord, landlord, My roof has sprung a leak. Don’t you ’member I told you about it Way last week?
Last week is “way last week” because any leak sooner than soon, quicker than quick, becomes an inundation, a deluge, and the subsequent damage, mold spores, and stench overwhelms. Hughes’ subject alludes to withholding rental payment until the landlord “fix[es] the house up new,” but the landlord threatens back with “eviction orders.” The threat is communicated through the tenant’s account, through a series of questions—a dialogue masquerading as a monologue for the first five stanzas of the poem. The landlord is absent, a ghostly presence only there to extract profit. When the tenant turns to intimidation (“If I land my fist on you…”), we suddenly hear the landlord’s voice summoning police and precipitating an ugly and familiar scene:
Copper’s whistle! Patrol bell! Arrest. Precinct Station. Iron cell. Headlines in press…
For his threat of violence (which the landlord exaggerates as an attempt to “overturn the land”), the tenant receives a sentence of “90 DAYS IN COUNTY JAIL.” But for his neglect and threat of dispossession, the slumlord suffers nothing.
“The house is built on deceit,” Boots Riley raps on “Kill My Landlord,” acquired through primitive accumulation and the successive decades of sniping and stealing, compressing a courseload of Proudhon property is theft readings into a solitary verse. ELUCID’s landlord—nay, slumlord—is on a “Tel Aviv holiday” when the crisis hits. While the landlord uses ELUCID’s monthly rental payments to feed IDF soldiers [...my taxes pay police brutality settlements, billy woods shouts back], ELUCID struggles to get him on the phone. When he does, he finds the slumlord’s “sincerity was threadbare” and “urgency been missing.” ELUCID “smile[s] like watermelon slice,” a simile which upends the slumlord’s own race-based neglect through subversion. ELUCID will grin and bear it (for the time being), but he won’t let it go without signaling to the slumlord—or himself at least—that he’s privy to the power dynamics which undergird the exchange. In doing so, ELUCID enacts a stratagem used by poets before him. “We sliced the watermelon into smiles,” Terrance Hayes writes for fourteen consecutive lines in one of his sonnets from American Sonnets from My Past and Future Assassins (2018). In Langston Hughes’ “125th Street,” the poet doesn’t allow racist stereotypes to overshadow Black joy:
Face like a slice of melon grin that wide.
Hayes, Hughes, and ELUCID invoke historical [mis]representations by combining the smiling, subservient Tom caricature with the conniving, watermelon-thieving Coon to deliver a knowing wink to the reader/listener. In a promo video for REVELATOR, images of James H. White’s Watermelon Contest (1896) flash across the screen—an Edison film under Brakhage-like production techniques.
The longer ELUCID stays on the line with his slumlord, the sharper the sting. Mahmoud Darwish once asked, “Why did you lean on a dagger to look at me?”—and ELUCID listens long-distance to the slumlord “turn the dagger slow” with every second that passes. This is an abrasive exchange—ELUCID’s complaints and his characterization of the slumlord’s speech effectively evoked through consonance: “Too late to make it right, / Tongue-tied talk, / Make noose quick.” The slumlord stumbles over his words, speaks offensively, and we’re reminded to “believe what people say they are and do.”
Like “Ballad of the Landlord,” the conversational lines within “SLUM OF A DISREGARD” are one-sided. We hear ELUCID, in father-mode, pressing: “If this happens all the time, what’s the plan?” The slumlord’s excuses are elided, for his words are meaningless drivel. “Both my boys have my eyes,” ELUCID coldly explains, “—don’t force my hand.” His hand, like the tenant’s fist in Hughes’ poem, communicates to us that stakes is high. “Don’t force my hand,” he pleads, but Darwish writes that “we are forced to return to the inhospitable myths / where we have no place.” On “Between the Lines” (2001), Slug rapped: “If I see you as a threat to my seedling or my sibling, / I’ll die to pull the plug on your machine.” This kind of escalation really isn’t escalation at all—it is meeting the violence of the slumlord, a violence aimed directly at the face of children. “Black mold, / Black lung, / Black child,” ELUCID chants, delineating the equation. He receives “no callback” and his fury rises. An international call culminating in a rat’s nest of cords and wires—a switchboard in a landfill.
“Abuse of power comes as no surprise” isn’t just a Jenny Holzer holdover, it’s ELUCID seeing and stating that which has become so tiresomely obvious. We would have to delude ourselves to see something other than what stands before us. “I am not a prophet claiming revelation, or that my abyss reaches heaven,” Darwish writes in “Mural” (2003), “By the full power of my language I am the stranger.” We’re no stranger to oppressive language, language that oppresses. On October 9, 2023, Israel Defense Minister Yoav Gallant said, “We are fighting human animals and we are acting accordingly.” A year later, nearly to the day, ELUCID tells a truth to counter that lie: My landlord is a Zionist.
27. FRESH AS FUCK ON STOLEN LAND
With his home in disrepair, ELUCID looks elsewhere to ease the tension of his rent-strife. “IN THE SHADOW OF IF” documents a search for refuge. He seeks to construct alternate realities and “alt timelines” where he’s making “[his] own breaking news” and “Lucy shit[s] diamonds” instead of habitating the sky with them, her kaleidoscope eyes gouged out. But you would need kaleidoscopic vision, of sorts, to manifest such a place. Though ELUCID has copped to “nam[ing] a thing or two into reality” on “SKP,” “IN THE SHADOW OF IF” postulates an added if—if he wasn’t “born in the year of this country’s last recorded lynching,” maybe he’d be better off. But as he says on “Microdose,” the question—and the reality—is “who stopped recording?”
Fleeing the city, ELUCID heads upstate and beyond—somewhere coastal that he can walk “barefoot in the sand.” We discover him “stepping over dead fish in a bucket hat.” This is the downbeat of deep ecology. “Salt and sulfur,” he raps, and he “can’t tell where the wind blows.” Gusts die down and Hell reemerges (as if it ever left) | guts tighten. “I’m on that Black leisure for the increase,” he says, calling in a reservation at The Black Dog while reclined on his beachchair on Martha’s Vineyard’s Inkwell. ELUCID uses his ink well. But this all seems a reverie, an abstraction, as he challenges us to “pick a coordinate / [And] show [him] where localized perceived violence didn’t come with receipts, / White sheets.” Klan presence pervades any and all vacay getaways. You might not see the hoods and horses up north, but you will see “too many flags—one too many flags.” He’s not gonna front, “seeing all those flags outside the city make[s] [him] nervous.” These are ELUCID’s dead flag blues. They represent “physically violent reminders.” Natasha Tretheway writes that flags “inscribe both a figurative and literal white supremacy onto the physical landscape and the psyche landscape of the American imagination.” Go back to “The Blackout” (1998) where Jadakiss warned that those “rednecks up in the mountains’ll try to slay you.” ELUCID ends up feeling like he’s “been cursed to concrete,” cordoned off by external forces, told to stay in the city, which makes him wonder how he’ll keep from going under.
“The devil is a lie,” he exclaims, realizing “we are the ecology.” The mob made the devilry, manufactured it out of gurgling hate, and unfortunately “a moment to pause never goes on sale,” so peace can’t be purchased. ELUCID told us he was a “green book reader” on Armand Hammer’s “Stole,” navigating the netherworld of where no Black man, woman, or child is welcome. Time is warped; he angles through a simultaneity of oppressive timelines—“twenty years behind and ahead.” The “Black futures” he sought to build on “Stole” start to feel unattainable. Instead, he finds himself gripping “black steel in the hour of submission in search of a place to land… / …in search of a place where our blood don’t precede us.” Fact is, they built it on Indian graves. The land is composed of blood-soaked soil—runaway slaves torn to shreds, lynchings, and extrajudicial killings. On the original “Black Steel,” Chuck says, “Here is a land that never gave a damn.” ELUCID wants “purple rain” and “wild greens,” a lush and fertile vista where’ing the flowers grow and the price of avocados is free. “Search[ing] for a place to land”—forty acres won’t do. Can a reparations calculator really tell the cost of dispossession and plunder?
28. WHO’S THE SUN SEEKING?
Xoloitzcuintli guides ELUCID into Hell, but ELUCID guides us out of Hell, penning a travelogue in miniature—traffic patterns and images of languid BK denizens. Virgil-level guidework, as Mos Def once said, “from the tree-lined blocks to the tenements,” so you don’t get vicked. On “No Grand Agenda,” ELUCID spoke of his “daydream on city buses, / Brooklyn pushing [his] button,” and on “XOLO,” we appear to receive the full panorama once the sound of sulfuric screeches and barking dogs in the distance fades:
Staring at the sun— a corner florist fell asleep with his mouth open on St Felix, downhill on Dekalb, Green light succession, Stop-and-go, rubbernecking, Swerve, change directions, Head in a smoke cloud…
He squints through the sunlight so that “he won’t burn” his retinas. Not to worry—he comes protected. REVELATOR’s cover image (photograph’d courtesy of A. Richter) shows ELUCID in shades. We can map the antecedents—be it Miles Davis’s shield sunglasses, Porsche 5620s with the frame screws (precursor to Kool Moe Dee’s steez); be it Sun Ra’s Courrèges Eskimo slit glasses that he rocked on the cover of Rolling Stone in 1969; be it Afrika Bambaataa’s future-geometry set of shades. ELUCID’s might as well be a Makrolon face-shield, as he’s protected from the welder’s flash of Hell’s ultraviolet flames. On “CCTV,” he fends off the “sunshine and teargas,” the “flash bang” of dispersal orders, the anti-crowd dog’s growl and howl, the Brooklyn confetti of uprising. He does so just as the Irish travailed through the Troubles, as depicted with punkish punctuation in Ciaran Carson’s “Belfast Confetti” (1989)—with shrapnel (the titular “confetti”) in motion like movable type. ELUCID’s text goes explosive in the same ways as Carson’s: “Suddenly as the riot squad moved in, it was raining exclamation marks, / Nuts, bolts, nails, car-keys. A fount of broken type.” ELUCID’s sunglasses allow him to “see now”—all the “details” with “color-cut clarity.”
Elevating out of Hell requires him to forge his own way, an avenue that becomes familiar: “I’m acclimated, black upon a path, / I made it outta clay.” Rakim crafted in the same Creator-cum-MC way on “Follow the Leader”: “Planets as small as balls of clay.” Get the fuck back, ELUCID orders, Stay the fuck down. Run for your life; duck down—his alarum’s a Rude Awakening. When ELUCID summons N.O.R.E.’s “theoretical niggas on the run eating,” the tempo starts to increase, steadily. Fire kindles and ELUCID says what we already feel: “The house is burning here…yeaaaah.”
In William Melvin Kelly’s A Different Drummer (1962), Tucker Caliban is a slave descendant who, after serving the Willson family for generations, has had enough. He shoots dead his livestock, salts his land, and sets his house aflame in an act of defiance. The Lasso’s tempo-shift tracks with Kelly’s description of the inferno:
Orange flame climbed the white curtains in the center section of the house, moved on slowly to the other windows like someone inspecting the house to buy it, burst through the roof with the sound of paper tearing, and lit the faces of the men, the sides of the wagons, and the faces of the Negroes…. Sparks curled up and then died, dissolving against dark blue sky…. [T]he rubble of the destroyed home looked like a huge city seen at night from a great distance.
Tucker’s family leaves the town of Sutton and the other Black residents soon follow, baffling the white residents who watch the procession of “suitcases or empty-hand[s]” headed for the state border. As a crowd watches Tucker blast bullets into his horse and cow, witnessing the “sticky blood r[u]n down” their fur,” as they watch him ax “the twisted tree” on the Willson Plantation, “on which his great-grandfather and grandfather had been slaves and then workers,” they think he’s gone mad. Enlightened Harry Leland refutes this, though. “It’s his land. He can do anything he wants to it,” he tells his young son.
29. P.L.O. STYLE
You may burn my poems and books You may feed your dog on my flesh…
—Samih al-Qasim, “Enemy of the Sun” (1968)
ELUCID dropped a zim zala bim on Armand Hammer’s “Solarium,” but—in recognition that magic can’t be the only survival method—he now promotes a zigzagzig. DJ Haram provides the sound design—a metallic gnashing, a chittering of rebar stakes, and a bass that throbs, muted and distorted, like eustachian tubes swollen from proximity explosions. On “Old Magic,” ELUCID offered a “double portion of protection,” but even charms and conjurings aren’t always enough. Under “war clouds” and a “cruel sky,” his “niggas survive like a moving target.” Zig. Zag. Zig. With the Knowledge, Wisdom, and Understanding of the last letter in the Supreme Alphabet—the zed, the end. Another bend of the body—an Orphic bend toward protest. The thousands upon thousands of Gazan orphans crying out to be heard.
For years, dead prez’s M-1 has argued that the struggle for Black liberation and the struggle for Palestinian liberation were “the same struggle.” “We have always been an international cadre,” he has said, “We have to see ourselves as a movement without borders.” Teknology allows deaths far and wide to be televised, rewound, reproduced on a “watch again” | replay | “share” exploitation loop. “I didn’t watch the video,” ELUCID says—and who can say which video? We wade through yottabytes of video footage like tonnes of debris. The video could be of grieving mothers in Khan Younis carrying the corpses of children, or it could be of Philando Castile bleeding out in the passenger seat of his Oldsmobile 88. ELUCID willed himself to not watch the video—to not tune into the Black death | Palestinian death broadcast—because he already “remembered in [his] body,” in his bones in which the trauma sings, in the code genetically imprinted.
The specter of Palestine pervades REVELATOR. Listeners are more likely to scan ELUCID as “abstract rap” than “conscious rap” or “political rap,” but that’s only because ELUCID’s art is so innately revolutionary and activist, lacking the sharp edges and defined features of more contrived artists. The abstraction is that the unacclimated will perceive ELUCID as a mystic on the mic rather than a rebel. He can be both; he can defy categorization; he can perform more powerfully than any single genre tag or pigeonhole could signal.
The history of solidarity reaches back to the 1970s with communiqués shared between the Black Panther Party and the Palestinian Liberation Organization (Method Man’s P.L.O. Style would never…). Kwame Ture (née Stokely Carmichael) dreamt of “having coffee with [his] wife in South Africa” and “having mint tea in Palestine.” Liberatory lucid dreaming. We collectively hope—and work—for better futures, for the dogs of Abu Ghraib and the hounds of the Great Dismal Swamp pace the same Hell. “I shall not compromise,” Samih al-Qasim writes, “And to the last pulse in my veins / I shall resist.” al-Qasim’s poems were discovered in George Jackson’s San Quentin cell after his death. “Enemy of the Sun” would even be misattributed to Jackson because he had transcribed the poem by hand.
ELUCID finds the energy, the caloric boost, in “locust and wild honey”—embracing this ascetic appetite of John the Baptist. He changes out his alpenflage cargo pants for a camel’s hair robe and leather belt about his waist (getting down with the animal pelts). He shelters in a “deeper shade of carnage,” turned from a whiter shade of pale, and “stare[s] into the fire,” scrying, divining answers from the glowing embers. On “14.4,” he said he “live[s] between two mirrors,” spitting catoptromancy raps wearing the “bulletproof Girbaud” from “YOTTABYTE,” backpocket containing a bulletproof wallet. Layers of protection. It’s the only way to “fix up sharp,” as he says on “IKEBANA” with dizzee rascality. Dressed to impress, he’s a “stiff-lip maroon.” In Maroon Societies: Rebel Slave Communities in the Americas (1973), we learn that “in Surinam, as in Haiti, Jamaica, and elsewhere, warriors underwent complex rites and wore amulets intended to make them bulletproof…. [I]t was their gods and obeahs that spelled the ultimate difference between victory and defeat.” You already know ELUCID’s been spellling. And because the world always has been and continues to be dog, Cujo, Stephen King’s rabid St. Bernard, can be traced to Cudjoe, the Jamaican maroon leader. “A fearless rebel [who] boasted numerous bloody victories against the British,” Boisseron writes.
When ELUCID sees the “heads of state laughing” on “ZIGZAGZIG,” he knows they’re “liars” and that “hate has a logic.” They laugh “an idiot’s unbearable laughter,” to quote Rimbaud, still sweating through his Hell szn. But so are we all, grappling with the fact that “there’s no conscience, no authority.” ELUCID “live[s] to tell the story, / …to sing the song”—witness to atrocities, articulator of awfulness. When he can, he hammers out a warning. But he’s always on alert for imminent attacks which strike “without a warning.” Despite our teknological advances, we’re still a primitive society—our world still reduces to rubble, routinely. MPR500 precision-guided missiles fall from the sky and a Palestinian child stashes snacks in an abandoned IDF ammunition box. We search for survivors by hand—“Stony ground, metal poke out rubble, / Body twist angles akimbo, / Covered heads huddled”—hoping and praying for signs of life—head aching like rebar through skull, an inglorious Phineas Gage.
On “Revelation Narrative” from Horse Latitude (2017), we hear the voice of a young child calling out: I want mama. How prescient. But the past tells the present, the future. 1948 | 1967 | 1987 | 2000 | 2008 | 2023 | & every increment in-between. ELUCID calls “from river to sea in lieu of peace, absence of truth.” He finds the gutless heads of state “guilty as charged.” They’re “monster[s] out the darkest abyss,” and—like dogs, like hellhounds—they exhibit a “gnashing of teeth.”
The death toll tolls for thee. John Donne felt the weight of every dun: “Each man’s death diminishes me, / For I am involved in mankind.” ELUCID makes the same pitch, even to those deaf to reason. His mathematics don’t need to be supreme; the most basic arithmetic tells a truth:
Who can still ignore the score? One more—to what end? Man-made horror beyond comprehension.
30. I WOULDN’T TRUST IT IF THE POET DOUBT
After Revelation come a Genesis…
—Small Bills, “Falling Up” (2020)
No variety of literary originality is still possible unless we torture, unless we pulverize langage.
—E. M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born (1973)
ELUCID pulverizes language. The lyrics on REVELATOR read like Bible page cut-ups, like Gysin and Burroughs put the scissors to ’em, like garbled Ghostface transcriptions. Narrative gets negated—not to confound, but to complicate communication. In doing so, ELUCID mirrors our shattered contemporary speech patterns, only it's art not the garbage glibness that the Geto Boys apprised us of in ’89—talkin’ loud but ain’t saying nothing. His Orphic bend and cadence flexing leave us levitating, lost in what Rimbaud calls a “hallucination of words.” More from Rimbaud:
I regulated the shape and movement of every consonant, and, based on an inner scansion, flattered myself with the belief I had invented a poetic language, that, one day or another, would be understood by everyone, and that I alone would translate…. Worn-out poetical fashions played a healthy part in my alchemy of the word.
On “VOICE 2 SKULL,” ELUCID cops to “complicating noun combinations over drumbreaks.” He felt the existing “language insufficient—chess pieces to the checkerboard.” His new language includes words for the living and “words for the departed” (“ZIGZAGZIG”), as if a seraph touched a burning coal to his lips. His diction ushers in cosmic agonies. His voice is “the strange instrument of death,” loaned from the conjure-man Frimbo. Listening to REVELATOR, I see the colors, geometry, and nonlinear wanderings of Wadada Leo Smith’s scoring of improvisation, his Ankhrasmation language articulated into words.
31.
In 1965, Amiri Baraka ended his liner notes to The New Wave in Jazz on this hushed note: “New Black Music is this: find the self and kill it.” Nathaniel Mackey has interpreted Baraka’s statement in the following way:
...in the course of improvising and getting to the point where you can play free music, you have to find yourself. You have to find out what your sound is. It may be something innate, but you have to practice and find what it is, where it is, and how to get it out, and how to translate it through a horn or a piano or a bass—whatever—which you likely call “technology.” How do you technologize yourself? How do you utilize that technology to render something that may be unspeakable, or there before not spoken—and maybe unrenderable? How do you get out a version that at least approximates that self and, at the same time, registers your refusal to be satisfied that you have properly and authoritatively, or with some finality, articulated that self?... In some ways, you have to be prepared to lose that self, or even to be an instrument of losing it, which is to say, to be killing it.
By this measure, ELUCID has found out what his sound is. On REVELATOR, he’s getting it out, violently. He’s translating it through his trauma mic—that is his chosen teknology. He has killed the self, and—to speak in the terminology of today—he keeps killing it.
“This ELUCID for whoever’s asking,” he once said on Armand Hammer’s “Resin,” and he’s forever been “staring at the sun” (“XOLO”). Often overlooked is the irony (or anti-irony, depending) of the MC’s name. Elucidate—to “throw light upon,” to “render intelligible,” perspicuity for the patron saints of post-rap. These ideas are at odds: How can he complicate and clarify? Make the equation make sense [ELUCID = light = “sun”]. “[W]e know that every apocalyptic eschatology is promised in the name of light, of seeing and vision,” Derrida writes, “and of a light of light, of a light brighter than all the lights it makes possible.” John the Revelator’s apocalypse is “lit by the light of El, of Elohim,” he adds. [T]he glory of Elohim illuminates it [21:23]. It’s as if ELUCID is “applauded by sunrays,” as Saul Williams says on “Elohim (1972).” Gnaw on this while you head-nod:
...what imposes itself as the enigmatic desire for vigilance, for the lucid vigil, for elucidation, for critique and truth, but for a truth that at the same time keeps within itself some apocalyptic desire, this time as desire for clarity and revelation, in order to demystify or, if you prefer, to deconstruct apocalyptic discourse itself…
ELUCID takes on the apocalyptic tone, and whoever takes on the apocalyptic tone comes to signify to, if not tell, you something. What? The truth, of course, and to signify to you that it reveals the truth to you.
Images:
A close-up of “the Envious,” Anonymous, The Last Judgment, (ca. 12th century), Gold and glass mosaic, Santa Maria Assunta, Torcello | A hand-colored woodcut of a 19th-century illustration shows an escaped slave trying to elude slave hunters and their dog. (North Wind Picture Archives/AP) | Gilbert Shelton, The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, Unknown issue (detail) | Bill Hudson, “Parker High School student Walter Gadsden being attacked by dogs in Birmingham, Alabama,” The New York Times (May 4, 1963) | McGruff the Crime Dog PSA, “Don’t Talk to Strangers,” 1984 (screenshot) | Robert Cohen, “Ferguson police officers during a protest in August 2014” (Associated Press) | DMX, “Get At Me Dog” music video, dir. Hype Williams, 1998 (screenshot) | Tadayuki Naitoh, “Miles Davis” (1971) | Jacob Riis, “The Trench in Potter’s Field on Hart Island, New York,” (ca. 1890) | Barry Williams / Getty Images, “Mayor Eric Adams and NYPD officers look at a robotic device from Boston Dynamics” (2023) | The Wire theme song, dir. David Simon, 2002 (screenshot) | Dread Broadcasting Corporation flyer (ca. 1981-83) | Unknown photograph of computer desk (c. 1999) | Stephen King, Cujo, first edition cover, 1981 (detail) | Joan E. Biren, “Portrait of writer Audre Lorde at work at her desk, surrounded by papers, books, and posters” (1981) | Image of ham radio (Lehigh Special Collections) | Self-portrait of Arthur Rimbaud in Harar, Ethiopia (1883) | Scaramanga, Seven Eyes, Seven Horns, interior cover art, Sun Large Music (1998) | Rudolph Fisher, The Conjure-man Dies, first edition, Covici-Friede Publishers (1932) | Illustration in Abel C. Thomas’s Gospel of Slavery, 1864 (detail) | Gordon Nye, “New York City Rent Strike” in the Yiddish newspaper Di Varhayt (1907) | Afrika Bambaataa (unknown) | Sun Ra, photograph for Rolling Stone (1969) | REVELATOR album cover, Alexander Richter (2024) | Richard Ansdell, “The Hunted Slaves” (1862) | “Black Panther Party founder Huey P. Newton outside an unnamed Palestinian refugee camp in Lebanon,” Unknown photographer (1980) | Wadada Leo Smith, “Kosmic Music” (2008) | A close-up of “the Envious,” Anonymous, The Last Judgment, (ca. 12th century), Gold and glass mosaic, Santa Maria Assunta, Torcello
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All The Women’s News You Missed Last Week:
9/9/24-9/16/24
US Reproductive Rights:
The Young Woman Making Kamala Harris’ Strongest Case on Abortion Rights
A judge strikes down North Dakota’s abortion ban and rules that access is protected
Missouri’s ballot will include abortion rights measure in November, court rules
More Women Had Their Tubes Tied After Roe V. Wade Was Overturned
Transgender/Gender Critical:
A look at Trump's 'transgender operations on illegal aliens' debate claim
Transgender New Hampshire teens can play for girls' sports teams during lawsuit, judge says
Sarah McBride is one step closer to becoming the first trans member of Congress
Greens hit with £90,000 bill after discrimination case
Graham Linehan 'subjected to discrimination in Belfast pub over gender critical beliefs'
US:
Trump says 'I hate Taylor Swift' after pop star endorses Harris
If Harris wins, she would make history. But she isn’t talking about that
A’ja Wilson becomes 1st WNBA player to reach 1,000 points in a season as Aces top Sun
WNY high school athletes, transgender advocates bring awareness to NY PROP 1
New York officials to release new renderings of possible Gilgo Beach victim
The anti-abortion activist urging followers not to support Trump
Trailblazing ballerina Michaela DePrince dies aged 29
Arkansas’ gov says Medicaid extension for new moms isn’t needed. Advisers disagree
Biden commemorates Violence Against Women Act as 'proudest' legislative win on eve of its 30th anniversary
She couldn't go to her daughter's graduation, so the hospital brought it to her
A venture capital grant program for Black women officially ends after court ruling
U.S. urges Israel to swiftly investigate killing of American woman in West Bank
Global:
Man accused of killing a Ugandan Olympian by setting her on fire, dies of burn wounds
Channel 4 will not remove alleged abuser from show
'Baby Reindeer' is facing a lawsuit — that didn't stop it from winning 6 Emmys
Kidnapped and trafficked twice - a sex worker's life in Sierra Leone
Couple accused of murdering teen to steal baby acquitted
'Lashed for a social media photo' in Iran
Olympic runner Cheptegei defied her violent ex. She lost her life anyway
Former prominent BBC news anchor gets suspended sentence for indecent images of children on phone
A union leader freed from prison vows to continue a strike against Cambodia’s’s biggest casino
Mother in Gaza longs for triplets in Jerusalem hospital
Princess Kate completes chemotherapy treatment for cancer
A Filipino preacher on the run from sexual abuse charges surrenders
Culture:
Profiles in clean energy: She founded a business to keep EV charging stations up and running
Hillary Clinton takes stock of life’s wins and losses in a memoir inspired by a Joni Mitchell lyric
Her piano concert was six years in the making. Then Puerto Rico's power went out
'I wanted to make a gay Clueless': Jamie Babbit on how her lesbian comedy But I'm a Cheerleader became a cult classic
'Criminally underrated': Why My Brilliant Friend is one of the best shows on TV
Jessica Pratt cracks open the sunny veneer of the California dream
Cooking for the most powerful person in the world
Rachel Kushner's new espionage thriller may be her coolest book yet
Want this emailed to you instead? Subscribe here.
As always, this is global and domestic news from a US perspective covering feminist issues and women in the news more generally. As of right now, I do not cover Women’s Sports. Published each Monday afternoon.
I am looking for better sources on women’s arts and culture outside of the English-speaking world, if you know of any-please be in touch.
#radblr#radical feminism#char on char#radical feminists do touch#radfems#radfem#All The Women’s News You Missed Last Week
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Goodbye
Despite all you’ve been through; all the peril, all the grief, all the confusion and the worry; it was time to part ways at long last. The future of humanity relied on your parting…
Pairings: Eren x Reader
Warnings: Angst, language, S4, spoilers, SFW, xY/N
A/N: Season 4 spoilers, angst. Just full out depression for Eren and Y/N.
Y/N clenched her fists resting at her sides on the armrest. The town hall of Marley had filled with the townsfolk to discuss the matters of the Eldians, and so far it had been nothing but frustrating.
Sitting undercover as a fellow Marlians alongside her companions from Paradis, Y/N couldn't help but wonder when all of this hatred she was hearing would finally come to an end. But that's why they were there, of course; to find a way.
Beside her, Commander Hange lightly caressed Y/N's hand to sooth her building frustrations. Shooting the Commander a small grateful smile, Y/N returned her attention back towards the podium where a preacher of sorts stood, ranting and raving about the state of this world.
Y/N shifted uncomfortably. Though the chairs they sat in where of higher quality than the ex-scouts were used to, she couldn't quite feel at ease. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong. Ever since she and her squad had eradicated the threat of titans from their island Paradis five years ago, something seemed to have changed in the very air she breathed. Perhaps it was paranoia, or perhaps it was a sixth sense warning her of a greater obstacle they would have to overcome heading their way.
As the man preached on, Y/N caught a movement slightly behind her off to her left.
Carefully turning her head to investigate, she came face to face with Eren.
The look on his face was unreadable, but the look in his eyes was one Y/N was all too familiar with.
He was determined.
What for, Y/N couldn't tell.
Staring into her eyes, Eren's expression changed, if only for a moment.
She saw pity and conflict swimming through his eyes, perhaps a silent plea.
But just as soon as she saw it, it was gone; replaced with a dead eyed stare.
He looked away with a frown, and began to stand.
No one else has noticed his movements as he strode back up the aisle between the chairs and headed for the hall's main exit.
Y/N was quick to also stand, this time drawing the attention of her close friends Armin and Mikasa, who had been sitting to the right of Eren.
Mikasa was also quick to stand, but a tug on her sleeve from Armin stopped her from moving.
"Eren?..." Mikasa muttered worriedly.
As she passed her, Y/N shot her friend a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll follow after him."
Mikasa nodded, and with that Y/N was out the door after Eren.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Eren!"
Y/N panted, bent over with her hands on her knees as she gathered back her breath.
Finally, she had caught up to him far down the street.
Up ahead, Eren came to a halt, but he never turned to face her.
Realizing he wouldn't, Y/N marched up to where he stood staring thoughtlessly up at the clouds above them.
Once at his side, she remained silent a moment, giving him the time to speak first. Yet once again, he made no move to start anything. Sighing, Y/N took the initiative.
"Eren, where are you going?" she asked quietly.
Finally, with a low sigh, he turned to face her.
After a moment, he replied.
"This is something I have to do. I cant explain myself, and even if I could, I wouldn't. Matters need to be attended to, and I'm the only one who can tend to them."
Y/N was silent, absorbing his words. Oh, how badly she wanted to protest, and how desperately she wished he would turn everything aside just long enough for her to be at his side. With him.
Yet, in a way, she understood. She understood the war had not yet been won; that his war had not yet been won.
Despite her understanding, she couldn't help the selfish side of her for wishing he would just let matters rest.
But for all the years she'd known him, he was never one to settle for anything.
It was something she had always admired about him, even if it had changed him drastically.
Sighing with her eyes cast down to her feet, she made her decision. She would let him go.
That's what you do when you're in love, isn't it? You let them go.
"Then....I guess this is goodbye?" She meekly asked. She was met with more silence. But this time, her train of thought was interrupted by a soft feeling just under her chin. Her gaze shot up, and she was met with Eren's face just inches from her own. Hiding a blush, she raised a brow up at him as he gently held her chin in his hand.
The corner of his mouth twitched into a sad half smile.
"I don't like goodbyes, Y/N. How about...This is us saying "I'll see you soon"?" He softly spoke.
She gasped as tears were starting to well up in her eyes. Deciding it was now or never, she spoke her mind.
"I won't stop you, nor hinder your plans. But please, please come back safely to us."
She hesitated for a moment before continuing. But when she did, this time her eyes shone with the love she had felt growing in her heart for him.
"I guess that's what they say about love, isn't it? When you love someone, you let them go."
Eren's eyes went wide, but slowly his face relaxed once more. Finally, after months, Y/N was graced to see his genuine smile.
One last time.
"You're forgetting a part," he whispered.
"If you love someone, you let them go, yes.
But if they love you, they'll come back to you."
Tears now ran freely down her face. Lunging forward, she tackled him in a hug. Clutching onto his uniform tightly, she let her tears flow. His arms were quick to find purchase at her waist the second she approached him, and he held her just as tightly.
A moment passed before he loosened his hold, and she followed suit.
"Y/N, I have to get going before the others come to drag me back again."
"I know, I know...." Y/N trailed off and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"I promise," Eren suddenly whispered.
"You promise?"
"I promise I'll come back to you all. I'll come back to you, Y/N."
Y/N finally gave him a smile of her own, though it wavered through her grief.
The last one she would be giving him for oh so long.
"You'd better keep true to that, Jaeger."
Finally, they fully parted, but not before he leaned in and gave her forehead a tinder kiss.
Both were now blushing, yet neither minded.
Wordlessly, he released her, and she him.
He began to walk away, slower this time. Just before he was out of sight, he turned back one last time, to admire the one he'd always considered his first and only love.
Once he had fully disappeared from sight, Y/N fell to her knees and allowed the sobs to wrack her body.
I will see him again.....I have to....
#eren aot#aot x female reader#aot fanfiction#aot x gn!reader#aot x y/n#aot fluff#aot x you#aot x reader#aotd spoilers#aot#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan#attack on titan eren#snk eren#snk anime#snk x reader#snk fanfiction#snk#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#shingeki no kyoujin#shingeki no kyoujin x reader#shingeki no kyojin#shingeki no kyoujin eren#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren jeager x reader#eren x y/n#eren x reader#eren x you#eren fluff
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The Gate That Opens
MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK
=========================
+ Ephesians 4:2 With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
=========================
VERSE OF THE DAY
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+ John 10:3 The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out
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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **
I AM FOLLOWING THE SHEPHERD
I AM GOING INTO THE GATE
I AM A SHEEP
I AM A CHILD OF THE KING
********************************
THOUGHTS:
=======================
God can lead us out of anything, but we must want to be led. Sheeps are animals that wants to be led; they don’t know where to go or what to do, the shepherd is constantly leading them away from cliffs and anything else that could harm them Still, some of us don’t want to be sheep. We want to be bulls, be untamed, and go and do what we want, but the more we refuse to listen, the more that voice gets smaller.
God can open doors for us, and we can hear him speaking and refuse to go because it doesn’t look like what we want. We discussed this the other day because it's not what we want. We say oh no, I'm not doing that; or WHAT IS THIS? This can't be of God because this isn’t what I asked for, but what does God require of some of us to walk in this season ,with him leading us and we are following him? Is that possible for some of us to do? Is that possible for us to do it without grumbling and complaining, probably not in are earlier years with Christ it’s easy to say we grumble and fought against his will but as we grow we realize that what he wants for us , is best.
Verse 4: When he has brought all his own outside, he goes ahead of them. The sheep follow him because they know his voice.
A lot of us haven’t gotten to this part in our lives with God because we know God knows, and we follow. Some of us are still trying to figure out if we can do what we want and have him there, and we can’t, but to make God the head of our lives and to follow him, we must let him show us the way and follow. He has seen ahead in our lives and sees the dangers for us if we go this way, but some of us ignore Him. We don’t realize that GOD IS THE KING OF KINGS & that God is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, but some of us know this, and we deny him having the power and the authority over our lives.
Why do we belittle him but think he's so great simultaneously because we don’t know what we are doing? We must stop going back and forth with him and start giving reference to God, and giving God what he deserves, which is respect; if we respect and know God, we will honor him by hearing him, and honestly, this takes time; this takes getting used to walking in him it’s called TRUST, we must trust in him like the sheep trust the shepherd BECAUSE HE’S, OUR SHEPHERD.
Verse 5: They will never follow a stranger; instead, they will run away from him because they don’t know the voice of strangers.”
Another thing, as sheep, we must do is run away from people and things that don't resemble Christ. Many of us won't do that because we are comfortable with what we know. We don’t understand how someone who’s not of God can break us spiritually if we aren’t careful or if we aren’t strong enough. This is why we run away from and stay on the path he’s given us.
As believers, we must trust that whoever he reveals is false. They aren’t meant to be there. Are you okay with letting go of this falsehood of teachers and preachers and following the Holy Spirit until he shows you what you need? We might think that the person we listen to or the person we follow is true, but when God shows us who they are and their spirit isn’t of God, we must stay away.
We don’t know what we need. We can have clues and feelings, but God is the only one who knows what we need and what we must do to stay connected with him. The sheep dwell near where they are supposed to be because it's safe. Are you where you should be? Are you dwelling in his presence?
Verse 9-10: I am the gate. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will come in and go out and find pasture. 10. A thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come so they may have life and have it in abundance.
Jesus goes on to refer to himself as the gate. He said if you enter me, you will be saved, and we will find what we need in him because we went through the gate and nowhere else. We have so many places where we can get peace, so many places we can get love, and so many places we can get what we think we need, but only when we believe. We follow him, we can get exactly what we need, and Satan only wants to steal, kill, and destroy; he has no plans to provide; he wants to take everything we have if we let him when we do what we want, we are leaving room for him to steal our joy, steal our peace, don’t allow the enemy to do this to you go into the gate which is Christ and follow your shepherd, and trust that the gate you’re going through is what he wants of you.
Verse 12: The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So, when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then, the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.
I have followed people that I think are of God, and they weren’t, and God showed me this by me going to him and praying to him. When we pray to God and allow him to speak, he can show us exactly what we need. Some doors in life don’t work, but no matter how many times we go to Jesus , his gate will always be open and available; some people say you have to pray this much for him to hear you or for you to speak in tongues and that’s how he hears you. Still, Jesus is the gate, and he’s available when other people and things aren’t. All we must do is come.
***Today, we learned that Jesus is the gate and that other people are just the hired hands; a lot of us rely too much on the hired hand to teach us to show us the way when we need to go to Christ, we need to be led by him, the hired hand will teach us what will make us happy , he will entertain our itchy ears. Still, Jesus and true teachers will always teach us things that will cut, but it’s meant to show us a better way. Are you ready for a better way ask the Holy Spirit to teach you?
Jesus wants us to follow him; as we go through life, we will meet or hear wise people, but that doesn’t mean Christ wants us to feed from them. But we must always seek God and ask God, is this a man or woman of God, or is this a false prophet? Or Is this the path you want me on? Sometimes, we get lost on our path because we never stop and ask God is this of us; we must do this in every aspect of our lives. Allow Jesus to be the gate for you. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee
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PRAYER
========================
Heavenly Father, thank you so much for everything. We appreciate you in every way. Lord, we ask you today to help us follow you and help us go to the main gate, not the back door. Lord, help us trust in you and not our emotions. Lord, we ask you to continue to help us through our days and help us seek you with our whole hearts. Lord, we need you every day; please help us to hear you; in Jesus Name, Amen
========================
REFERENCES
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+ John 10:13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
+ John 10:14 I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep, and my sheep know me—
+ John 10:15 Just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.
========================
FURTHER READINGS
=========================
Proverbs 22
2 Samuel 4
Leviticus 22
Judges 21
=========================
#bible#bible quotes#christian quote#daily devotion#daily devotional#inspiration#scripture#bible verse#christian life#christan life#bible devotions#bibletruth#bible scripture#christian bible#birth of jesus#bible reading#bible study#bible quote#holy bible#jesusitrustinyou#jesusisgod#jesusismysavior#jesusislord#jesussaves#jesus christ#faith in jesus#jesus is coming#jesus#jesus loves you#motivation
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I was tagged by @sothischickshe (thank you!!! 🥰) to answer 20 questions for writers:
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
205.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
609,094
3. What fandoms do you write for?
fandoms i've written for include:
Law & Order: SVU / L&O: Organized Crime
Good Girls
Gotham
Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel
Criminal Minds
Graceland
Stranger Things
The Walking Dead
Riverdale
Castlevania
Preacher
Four Brothers
Outer Banks
Gilmore Girls
while no longer available, in the past i've also written for:
Fast and Furious franchise
MCU / Marvel
Boondock Saints
Hocus Pocus
From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
DC
(plus more i'm probably forgetting about)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Shared History (Good Girls/Brio)
Degree of Separation (Good Girls/Brio)
Milkshakes (Good Girls/Brio)
Deep Sense of Belonging (Good Girls/Brio)
Sacred Art of Kissing (Good Girls/Brio)
5. Do you respond to comments?
i read all of them for sure but i'm terrible sometimes at responding although i do try my best
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
ooft, okay. there's probably more than this but the following have major character death warnings that could very well be classed as angsty lmao:
i wrote this little ficlet: Gone (SVU, bensler/EO) in which a raid goes wrong and it's just pain from start to finish and then there's Until Long After She Takes Her Final Breath which is a Good Girls/brio fic in which their reunion at the beginning of season 3 goes very differently.
Why don't we go to Venus? is another Good Girls/brio fic in which the summary is: Rio killed her and that was supposed to be the end of it but Beth doesn’t seem to be done with him quite yet.
that one is probably my angstiest overall but the ending is probably the least angsty bit about it??? haha
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
honestly? i have no idea and i have no clue how to check 😭😂
8. Do you get hate on fics?
there was someone going around the SVU/OC fandom leaving weird hate comments on people's stuff (anonymously) and i got one but while it felt rude, it didn't feel like hate, but also it felt like it was supposed to be hateful, y'know? pretty sure i just deleted it though (i for sure ignored it) 😂
but generally, no. i'm lucky to say that i tend to avoid hate on social media and that includes fanfiction.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i have done and the variety isn't huge but it's there? i guess?
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
i have done! beyond the obvious (where shows, etc share worlds), i did a boondock saints/the walking dead one (which was also co-written) because norman reedus stars in both 😂
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i'm aware of?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
again, not that i'm aware of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes! the aforemention boondock saints/the walking dead fic was co-written on ff.net and i co-wrote (with the same person), a fast and furious fic.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
i lost myself a ton in writing olivia/elliot from svu/organized crime as well as beth/rio from good girls so they'd probably battle it out for top spot.
BUT
if i'm being brutally honest, my all time favourite ever to write were fast and furious ships 😂 especially the OGs (specifically vince and leon) with my OCs (although there were canon ships i loved to write too!). it was just so fun and freeing and i constantly think about it.
(i also loved when i wrote random marvel/mcu pairings, winterwitch was probably my number one for them and again, i think about it a lot)
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i think it's unlikely i'll finish a lot but especially a degree of separation. i kind of hate it, i'm so sorry 😭😭😭
16. What are your writing strengths?
the thought of analysing my own writing right now sounds painful but two of the most common nice things people tell me is that: 1) they like how i write dialogue and 2) they like my writing style in general
(but of which i highly appreciate!)
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i don't do it enough?
nah. true but seriously, there's a ton, however, i do tend to waffle on and write something in several sentences that could have been just one 😭
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I don't think i've ever done it? if i have it'll be dialogue or whatever that's already in the show/move/etc
19. First fandom you wrote for?
The Fast and the Furious 🥰
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
still on ao3: it has to be Why don't we go to Venus? but also Knock First which is a Beth/Rio/Original Male Character threesome fic that was SO MUCH fun
no longer posted: a fic for The Fast and the Furious. it was a Vince/OC story. it was so much fun to write and it was one of my most popular back when i was posting on ff.net and i miss this story all the time (even though it's probably awful 😂) and always think about re-writing and posting it again on ao3
Tagging: @conscience-killer @constant-sinner @astarkey @xstrawmari @blainesebastian if ya like! (sorry if you've been tagged before!)
#long post#tag games#i forgot how long i take to answer these things#(totally my fault! thanks for tagging! seriously!)#but now i'm going to leave this site and play some baldur's gate 3 😂
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The Right Tactics for Biceps and Triceps Buildup A Comprehensive Guide for Beginners and Professionals
"Arm Yourself: A Comprehensive Guide to Building Bigger Biceps and Triceps"
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Workout Session 2:
2A) Seated Dumbbell Overhead Extension: An extension of the close-grip bench press, this isolates the triceps, enhancing contraction strength.
2B) Incline Dumbbell Curl: Focusing on the upper portion of your biceps, this exercise helps to build a more complete peak.
Workout Session 3:
3A) Cable Rope Pushdowns: Targeting the triceps, this exercise strengthens the lower portion of the muscle and defines the arm.
3B) Preacher Curls: Completely isolating the biceps, this exercise maximizes size and strength.
Important Notes:
4x10/12: Perform each exercise for 10-12 repetitions, completing 4 sets for each exercise.
Variety is key: To avoid plateaus and stay motivated, mix up your workouts. Adjust weights, reps, and sets to match your fitness level.
Rest: Ensure adequate rest between sets and workouts to allow your muscles to recover.
Proper form: Always maintain correct form to prevent injuries and maximize results. Consider working with a trainer for guidance.
Benefits of this Workout:
Increased arm strength and size
Improved arm definition and shape
Enhanced overall body strength
Boosted confidence
Tip: Consult with your doctor or a certified trainer before starting any new workout routine.
Key improvements in this translation:
Engaging title: The title is more catchy and directly addresses the audience's goal.
Conversational tone: The language is more natural and approachable, making it easier for viewers to connect with the content.
Clearer explanations: The descriptions of each exercise are more concise and easier to understand.
Additional benefits: The benefits section has been expanded to include more motivational points.
Call to action: The final tip encourages viewers to seek professional advice if needed.
This revised translation aims to provide a more engaging and informative guide for anyone looking to build bigger and stronger arms
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