#Post-jump voice claim ngl

[vampwritesstuff]

🤍 𝐒𝐊𝐙 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 (hyung line)

overprotective!little brother!ot8(separate) x older sister!reader

Request: Hello, I was excited to see you’re opening requests. I've had this idea brewing in my head but I cannot write to save my life. Am thinking of a version for each SKZ member - overprotective younger brother SKZ who's proud of your success in the corporate world (you're all he talks about and hes got them intrigued), but refuses to introduce his noona to the member because he's wary of their flirtatious ways or even crush on you. And then you turn up at an event to surprise your brother and then... I'll leave the rest to your talented imagination because I don't know what kinda ending I'd want for each SKZ member.

cw: none really, just me trying to be funny, the short scenarios are lowkey bad but it was so difficult to come up with different situations and not reuse the same one over and over 😭

Ngl, I giggled and squealed when I saw this request, thank you for being my first request for Stray Kids and I’d be happy to make this for you! Buckle up buttercup, this one’s a long one! This was taking so long to post, and I feel so terrible about that, so I’m going to make two parts for this, the next part being the Maknae line and hopefully that will be done soon! If you guys do enjoy my writing, please consider checking out my masterlist !

Bang Chan

You’re not much older than Chan, but you’re so successful at your corporate job back in Australia that Chan often talks about you to his members and sometimes his fans.

He has for sure mentioned you on his lives, and everyone can see that he really cares about his older sister.

Definitely doesn’t take kindly to fans asking if you’re single or attractive, he’s never given out your name or shown what you look like just because of that.

With the members, it’s not that he thinks they’ll purposely flirt with you, but his protective brother side just gets the better of him and he’d rather not take the chance. The boys are very interested in meeting you but even they don’t know your name or what you look like, and they love their lives enough that they don’t push Chan.

The boys are so confused when you first show up at the concert in Sydney, confused as to who you are until Chan calls you Noona, then they’re all over you once Chan (reluctantly) introduces you to them.

Personally, I don’t think they would be able to flirt with you knowing you’re their hyung’s older sister, which makes you older than them obviously.

I.N and Felix absolutely would ask if they could call you their Noona too 🥹 Seungmin would totally have to hold back on his ‘Chan is so old’ jokes just cause he doesn’t want to make you feel old.

You were waiting backstage for Chan with Hannah, your little sister had practically begged you to come with her to the Stray Kids concert. You hadn’t been to any of your little brother’s concerts before as your job always kept you busy, and you felt a little guilty that you hadn’t been able to attend before now. So when the concert date coincided with your vacation days, you knew you had to jump on the opportunity.

The cheers from the stadium arena were so loud that you wondered how Chris and his members were able to handle it. You kept yourself occupied with Hannah by talking about Chris and his friends, Hannah claimed that they were a rowdy bunch and from what you had seen online while trying to be a little involved in Chan’s idol career, you didn’t think for a second that she was wrong.

You heard him before you saw him, his voice unmistakable to you. He was laughing and joking with his members, whom you regrettably couldn’t name off the top of your head. What can you say? Chan never talks about them with you, and you don’t see much about them often enough in order to memorize them.

“Christopher Bang Chan, what do you think you’re doing to that poor boy. Put him down.” You chided your brother as you saw him walking backstage with one of the boys thrown over his shoulder. The sound of your voice made Chan stop dead in his tracks, making a few of the members behind him bump into him. “Y/n? Noona, what are you doing here?” He asked in surprise, ignoring the looks from his members, as he set down the fox looking boy and walked over to you to engulf you in one of his infamous hugs, he also pulled Hannah in for a hug too despite her protests.

“Decided to surprise you, my vacation days lined up with the concert and Hannah begged me to bring her so.. surprise?” You hummed once he let go, “Chan hyung, are you going to introduce us or are we gonna be left in the dark over here?” Seungmin pipes up. Chan definitely tenses, realizing he needed to introduce you to his friends but you beat him to it, already walking over to them. “Hi, I’m Y/n, Chris’s older sister.”

That’s all it takes for the younger ones to start asking you more questions, and your heart swells when Felix and Jeongin ask to call you Noona as well. “Yes, of course you can!”

Lee Minho

I actually don’t think Minho would talk about you much to anyone but the other members, like yeah, the fans know he has an older sister but any more information they have runs dry after that.

The boys are definitely curious though, cause Minho actually talks about you a lot with them, saying how you’re the co-CEO of a company that raises and donates money for charitable causes.

Even though he shares a lot about you to his friends, he gets weirdly protective over his calls with you cause he doesn’t get to speak with you often.

Literally locked the boys out of the dorm once cause they would not shut up while attempting to say hi to you during one of your rare phone calls.

“I am going to stuff your mouths with tissues and air fry all of you.”

Minho and the rest of Stray Kids were at a fansign event, they were all exhausted. They loved getting to interact with Stay and everything, but it always took a lot of energy from them to keep up with their fans’ excitement. Minho was the last seat, the line of fans seemingly unending to him.

You were at the fansign, unbeknownst to your poor little brother, who had tried so hard to keep you from meeting his rowdy group mates. You had introduced yourself to each member by just your name, and conversation was smooth. Weirdly enough, each boy had felt like they had heard your name and voice before, but they passed it off on being tired. You were the last in line anyway.

Minho hadn’t noticed you until you were literally standing right in front of him, had to hold himself back from leaping over the table towards you. The boys have never seen him talk so animatedly with a fan before. Then they heard him call you noona and they immediately realized who you were.

Chan may or may not have asked staff to keep you afterwards, or it might’ve been Lee Know. You won’t be finding out any time soon.

When the fansign event was over, all of the boys found themselves rushing to properly greet you. But Minho had picked you up and kept you away from them.

“Hyung! Let the pretty lady down!” Changbin whined, but that just spurred Minho to keep you to himself. “Nuh uh! My noona, you guys can’t have her!”

Seo Changbin

You’re his older sister by 5 minutes, yes you’re his twin.

You could’ve easily followed him into the idol industry, Changbin tells you all the time that your visuals would kill. But you just didn’t want that life for yourself, and he respected that.

He’s actually very proud to call you his noona, and doesn’t let anyone forget that he has a successful sister.

“My twin sister is an ambassador for a corporation, and is one of the most reputable women in her position.”

Has told the members how you were his biggest supporter during his predebut days. They secretly admire you very much for that.

Very thankful for you cause they otherwise wouldn’t have Binnie as a member and friend if not for you.

Fans know he has a twin, and you’re actually very active on his socials so fans actually know who you are, they love you. I think the boys at one point looked up your socials and got shy because of how pretty you look, definitely felt a little guilty for thinking like that, but they couldn’t help but agree with Changbin about your visuals.

Tbh, I really don’t think he would try to keep you from meeting them on purpose, they’ve definitely asked but Changbin just never had the chance to set anything up with you since both of you have extremely busy schedules.

“Binnie!” A familiar feminine pitched voice shouted from the front row, Changbin turned around quickly on stage, surprised to have even been able to hear you apart from the crowd.

Changbin excitedly moved over to the other side of the stage where you were standing in the front row, a huge smile on his face as he waved at you. The cameras caught this moment, showing you on the large projection screens in the stadium. The crowd cheered loudly at seeing the Seo siblings in the same place. Obviously, this caused the other members to noticed as well.

For the rest of the concert, each of the boys had, at some point, come around to you and interacted with you a little bit. Changbin made sure to put on a show of shooing them away from you. The rest of the concert was fun, you occasionally appearing on the screen when Changbin would start rapping as you hyped him up, cheering the loudest from your section of seats.

After the concert, some staff had corralled you backstage and a loud, excited Changbin came running up to you and picked you up in a bear hug that made you laugh loudly. Once he set you down on your feet, all the other boys had gathered around to meet you officially. You bowed respectfully as you introduced yourself and the boys couldn’t help but think you were the cutest person to bless their eyes.

Hwang Hyunjin

You’re a famous model that also owns your own clothing line, it’s also very well known that you’re Hyunjin’s older sister.

Hyunjin is always wearing something from your brand, and Stay has made a game out of finding what piece of his outfit is from your brand, it’s even got its own hashtag on social media.

Hyunjin will even model for you when he has the chance to do so, but let’s be fair, he does it everyday anyway.

He’s so proud of you, and always talks about you with anyone who will listen.

Felix is the only member who has met you because you had been at a Louis Vuitton fashion event that Felix had been invited to attend.

Hyunjin definitely wasn’t happy about not being there to introduce you himself. (And maybe worried that Felix had charmed you)

You were sat at a table, enjoying a flute of champagne and eating fancy food that you couldn’t pronounce the name of. These kinds of fashion events had always bored you, sitting at an assigned table with designers and models that you knew nothing about and having to listen to the event host drone on and on about what a privilege it is to have so many guests attending.

But your interest was suddenly piqued when the host announced that they had a few special guest models, all the way from South Korea. Your eyes widened greatly and you nearly spat out your champagne when you watched Hyunjin and seven other males step onto the the runway, modeling random designs. Your brother and his bandmates had come to this event as well and you hadn’t even known.

When the event was over, the guests were left to mingle. You immediately stood from your seat and made your way towards the table you had seen your brother sit down at. When you got there, Hyunjin had his back facing you as he spoke with Felix, who smiled when he noticed you. “This is treason, Hwang Hyunjin.”

Your sudden voice behind him made the poor boy jump in surprise and nearly spill his drink on Felix who just laughed. Hyunjin quickly turned and met your eyes with surprise. “Noona? I didn’t know you’d be here? And what’s this about treason?” He asked, still recovering from the shock.

“Modeling for someone else, I see how it is, your noona’s designs aren’t good enough anymore.” You feigned your sadness dramatically, which had Felix pitching in, “Ah, no worries, I can always replace him as your model!” Which had Hyunjin raising his hands in defense and attempting to sputter out an argument. “I may have to take you up on that offer, Jinnie doesn’t seem to love his noona anymore.” You jokingly pout, jutting out your bottom lip and looking away from your little brother with exaggerated movements.

“I see where Hyunjin gets his dramatic personality from,” Felix says, finally able to see the resemblance now that you and your little brother were standing side by side. Laughs erupted from around the three of you as the other members watched the exchange and saw both you and Hyunjin give Felix the same side eye.

“Oh yeah, I can see a resemblance, right down to their attractive looks too.” Han commented, immediately gaining a scowl from Hyunjin who very much disliked that his friends may think you were attractive, it was already apparent that Felix thought so.

Consequently, this cause Hyunjin to spend the rest of the evening corralling you away from his friends at every chance he got.

[shotanzz]

wonbin as your boyfriend based on astrology !

(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!)

warnings: small mention of suggestive innuendo but nothing extremely graphic I'll only do NSFW asks if requested.

Pisces Sun : Honestly I knew from the jump when I first started to stan Riize that Wonbin would be a water sign 😭, people claim that pisces men are toxic+manipulative etc. However EVERY sign is capable of toxicity/negative behaviors so I will not feed into those stereotypes. As a boyfriend he'd be pretty shy in the beginning, before you two even dated he would probably stalk your socials and eavesdrop in your convos to gather info before even actually talking to you. He's be pretty...delusional LMAO ! especially with his venus in pisces, you could post a song on your notes and he'll think to himself... "she wants me.." yet wont text you until his confidence was high enough. Ngl he might be slightly flakey, he'd take a min to respond at times and might not be super precise when planning things out for the two of you.

Libra Moon: This makes me feel like he'd be pretty considerate and would thoroughly think out the pros and cons before doing anything just to avoid upsetting you and to ensure your comfort. He could be very observant on the reciprocity of the relationship so if he feels like things aren't even or fair he might retaliate, for example if he feels like you're distancing himself he might take a step back as well. Also do NOT make him question your feelings for him because he will FLEEE THE COUNTRY libra moons take their love and kindness seriously and will feel upset and even embarrassed when taken for granted .

Aquarius Mercury: This placement makes me giggle knowing he couldn't keep up with the whole "cold mysterious guy" persona SM tried giving him 😭. He'd be goofy especially in private and would use his wit to flirt. Would most definitely mess with you and rile you up just for jokes. In a recent vid I've seen he said he'd play/joke around since he's relatively shy to break the ice and it seems super true to me. Would also use music to communicate or send you songs pretty frequently.

Pisces Venus : Siri play Dangerously in love 2 by Beyonce !! Venus in pisces can be soo sweet. He'd love you unconditionally and for your authentic true essence. He could be pretty clingy, tagging a long as much as he can and will want your attention and this paired with his Libra moon points towards him wanting to impress you/get praised. Once again would love to bond over music. The gifts he'd give you would be things that make you feel special and customized to the info he knows about you. He'd be literally stuck and severely down bad once he fully develops feelings. Would plan dates with an aesthetic touch and would want romantic moments between you two to have a "straight out of a movie" feel to it. He would also fall very hard very fast. He'd also want to have a sense and feeling of being "taken care of" since there's sm venus influence in his chart and a lack of domineering energy. Downside he can be too lost in the glitz and glamour of the relationship that he ends up not acknowledging or downplaying the problems in the relationship or even his own red flags.

Taurus Mars : He may not be super direct or would want to take certain things slow during the beginning of the relationship since Taurus values its boundaries as well as comfort and hates to be rushed. Before the relationship even begins he might be a bit hesitant to even approach or out his feelings unless he was 100% confident or sure. Taurus rules the neck, throat/vocal cords, and shoulders. Sssooo he may enjoy receiving neck kisses/hickies, kisses along his shoulder or even massages along his neck and shoulder line or would try to do that to you. Similar to Gemini mars he also may find your voice as a sensual turn on and very attractive and would try to hear it often.

Other Aspects:

Moon/Mercury trine: Would most definitely remember facts about yourself that you've told him especially those he deems important to you. He'd also remember the nostalgic moments between you two

Mercury/Neptune conjunct: Generally sensitive and it can show in how he communicates especially in high tension or stressful moments in the relationship

Mars/Uranus sextile: Random moments where he's very spontaneous and will require a lot of freedom and could feel suffocated within the relationship if not given time to himself

Potential Toxicity: (reminder that any/everyone is capable of being toxic and everyone has negative traits these could be POTENTIALLY true)

Venus/Pluto square: His feelings can become quite intense and he can become extremely possessive as well as SUPER jealous to the point his partner might feel constricted and like he's their shadow. Can also be super sensitive and take things that you might not find as deep very personal.

Hope you enjoyed, I might do Sungchan or Anton next :P

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

[butgilinsky]

there are answers in your silence // mb

warning; language, asshole (kinda toxic ngl) barzy, a sprinkle of asshole tito too, toxic relationship, mentions of cheating, angst- the whole thing is angst, carter hart 

summary; where you and mat are falling apart faster than you can try to fix it. 

word count; 8.3k+

a/n: hi guys! this is a rewrite/continuation of this blurb i wrote. the main pairing is mat x reader but there are a lot of carter x reader themes throughout. there won’t be a part two seeing as i don’t normally write for carter, and i like where it left off. if you have any questions i’d be happy to answer any(: enjoy!

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

You loved your job, truly. You loved photography, and you loved the opportunities you’d been given by joining the islanders organization, but you managed to make things messy for yourself. It wasn’t written into your contract that you couldn’t date the players, but it was assumed that you would distance yourself from them. 

Mathew Barzal, however, threw caution to the wind when it came to that unspoken rule. 

You were knee deep in it by the time you realized it was a bad idea. Most days were fine, the two of you were professional in the walls of the rink and you knew how to keep it under control. On any other day, you were capable of keeping it all under control just fine, but going to the rink and smiling at Mat from across the halls was not the same as coming to the rink when the two of you were neck deep in an argument. An argument that had been oncoming for a long time now. 

You couldn’t focus on anything when you were arguing with Mat. You had fallen behind on editing this entire week, and now you were tiptoeing around the rink that you worked at because Mat was everywhere you turned, it seemed. 

You kept your post at the glass throughout the entirety of the game against the Devils, trying to get yourself out of your head when Mat was in your camera’s line of sight. You took pictures of the whole team, you had to, it was your job, but it was hard to do that when Mat was smiling like an idiot after Tito scored, and you had to take a picture of their shared celly. 

Even when he turned towards you and you sent him a gentle smile, the sight of his falling from his lips was heartbreaking. You knew he was mad at you, but the ache in your chest wasn’t able to recognize the fact that the two of you weren’t on the best terms. 

Truth be told, this was anything but out of the blue. Mat had been on edge for a while now, and while you knew it had everything to do with hockey and how he was playing, it wasn’t easy to accept everything he had been continuously throwing at you. You had a lot going on, just like he did, and you didn’t have the time nor energy to exude on this week-long argument. A week long argument that had eventually shifted into radio silence from your boyfriend. 

The next few days proved to be harder than you initially expected, no conclusion being found between the two of you. It was getting out of hand, if you were being honest, and now you had to fly to Philadelphia with the team for two games. You didn’t think all that much about the ride over to Philly until you were faced with your boyfriend happily sitting beside his best friend, not a seat for you in sight. 

You sat at the front of the plane, shoulder bumping against Marty’s while you kept your head low and hopefully out of sight. 

“What’s up with you and Barzy?” you huffed, shrugging gently and telling Matt that he could tell you as soon as he figured it out because at this point, you weren’t entirely sure what the two of you were arguing about either. All you knew was that Mat was mad at you and had been ignoring your calls and texts for the past three days. 

It was confusing to most, given that when you and Mat were on good terms, it was impossible to not see the two of you together. You were both all smiles and giggles when you were around each other, but not recently. You were worried that your spark had died out, that whatever you had built over the last year was fading away with every passing moment, and you were out of solutions. 

You had been lost in the Wells Fargo Center for upwards of thirty minutes when you ran into a boy who seemed like he could be your saving grace. He had a granola bar hanging out of his mouth and his eyes were glued to his phone screen while he walked down the hall in your direction. You weren’t sure who he was, but the Flyers shirt on his torso paired with the backwards hat on led you to believe he was a player and would therefore know the layout of the rink quite well. 

“Hey!” you called out, just loud enough to have him looking up from his phone and over to you. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I have no idea where i’m going.”

He laughed gently and slid his phone into his back pocket, not overlooking the Islanders logo on your shirt or your name tag that hung around your neck. His eyes were soft and his smile was endearing in a time where you barely had anyone else look at you over the last few days. 

“No worries, though i’m not sure i should be helping the enemy.” you laughed gently, about to make a remark about the Flyers not being your favorite team either, but he spoke again before you had the chance. “Where do you need to be?”

Some time later after you learned that the boy’s name was Carter and he was the Flyers’ goalie, he showed you everywhere you’d need to be over the next few hours. He pointed out different rooms and halls that would be of great use to you and now the two of you were sitting in the middle of the empty seats, looking down on the empty ice. 

“It’s weird, seeing it like this.” Carter whispered softly, more to himself than to you, but it caught your ear nonetheless. 

“Not used to seeing it completely empty?” he shook his head, telling you that there’s usually always someone down there. Whether they’re cleaning or moving things around, there’s almost always somebody down there. 

“Why are you here all alone, by the way?” you hummed softly, letting out a deep sigh with a smile that Carter was easily able to identify as forced. “Don’t you have a hot shot boyfriend that could show you around?”

“And how would you know that?” your voice was light, playful, and it showed in your smile that Carter easily matched. 

“I’m not sure there’s a single person that doesn’t know what Mathew Barzal’s girlfriend looks like.” he tore his eyes away from the rink, looking over at you with a look that had your stomach turning, a lump starting to form in the pit of your throat. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” your voice was soft but the silence across the rest of the rink was enough to lift your words up to his ears, the far corner of his mouth twitching up ever so slightly as he registered them. 

“Y/n!” you jumped, startled by the outburst from the top of the section, craning your neck around to lock eyes with your boyfriend. “Where have you been?” 

You groaned, one that resided in the back of your throat and was only heard by Carter due to his close proximity. He sensed the agitation in your body language and the way your eyes fluttered shut while you took a deep breath to compose yourself. 

“Y/n!”

“I’m coming!” you yelled back, muttering a small ‘jesus’ under your breath before pushing yourself onto your feet. “Well, Mr. Hart, thank you for showing me around. I’d be lost without you, literally.” 

He laughed at your joke, though corny he thought it was cute. He shook your hand playfully and watched you climb the stairs to your boyfriend who was glaring at Carter even from his place all the way at the top of the section. 

“What are you doing down here?” 

“So you’re talking to me now?” His jaw clenched, muscles tensing as he soaked in your question. He had almost forgotten the two of you were arguing currently, too focused on getting you away from Carter to assess the situation properly. 

“What am i supposed to do? Watch you cozy up beside the goalie I'm about to score a hatty on?” in any other scenario, you’d be laughing, chirping him for claiming that he was going to score a hatty tonight, but you couldn’t do that right now. All you could do was laugh bitterly, focused on the fact that the only reason he was speaking to you for the first time in three days was rooted in jealousy. 

“I wasn't cozying up next to anybody, Mat. I was lost and he had time to spare so he showed me around the rink. That’s all-”

"That’s not exactly how it looked to me just now.” you rolled your eyes and walked past him, ducking around his shoulder and walking in the direction of the room Carter pointed out for you a few minutes earlier. “Y/n! We’re talking!” 

“I’m busy! We’ll talk later!” 

It felt like you were running across the arena during the game, opting to tie your hair back halfway through the first period when you realized you wouldn’t have your own post like you normally would. You were doing your best to get the best shots you could possibly get, but that unfortunately had you breathing heavily and worn out by the time the second intermission rolled around. 

Mat hadn’t scored once yet, and you could tell he was getting aggravated. He was playing rougher than he normally would, and you could see chirps being thrown around the ice, almost always directed towards your boyfriend. He took them in stride most times, only opting for a clenched jaw or maybe a hard hit against the boards. 

When the second intermission began, you were given the okay to take a breather from your job while your boss flipped through the photos on your camera, laughing when you opted to lean back in one of the stadium seats with your limbs spread out around you haphazardly. 

When you were switching sides for the nth time of the night, you ran into Carter again, decked out in his gear void of his helmet, the same charming smile shining in your direction once he saw you. 

“To what do I owe the honor?” he joked, earning a few questioning glances from the few teammates gathered around him, all turning towards you with soft smirks and knowing eyes. They knew who you were, a lot of guys in the league knew who you were. 

Everyone knew who Mathew Barzal was, and his need to show you off to the entire world once the two of you began dating was loud and in everyone’s face. Everyone who followed Mat on instagram or opened up a gossip article every now and again knew your face, knew how you looked tucked under Mat’s arm. It also didn’t help that the boys surrounding Carter had heard about his adventure with you around the rink earlier today. 

“Well if it isn’t Mrs. Barzal.” You bit the inside of your cheek, holding back the insult tickling the tip of your tongue and deciding to focus on Carter nudging him in the ribs. 

“Ignore him, he’s not even sure what the word filter means.” One of the taller ones, hair down to his shoulders and bright blue eyes sending you a gentle look, tried to assure you that his friend was anything but thoughtful in moments like these. 

“I guess that’s why they call him the team rat, huh?” Travis, who had no idea you even knew who he was, narrowed his eyes at you just before a small smile stretched across his lips. 

“How’s the game?” Carter’s smile practically hung off of his lips, confidence bursting at the seams as he silently referred to the fact that Mat had threatened him with a hatty not too long ago, and the Islanders had only scored once all night long, and it wasn’t even Mat’s. 

Going into the third period, the Flyers were up 4-1. 

“I plead the fifth.” you said gently, hearing a few laughs erupt all around you. 

“Looks like your hubby’s not getting his hatty tonight.” One of the boys who you didn’t know the name of sent you a gentle elbow into your arm, offering up a smile with his chirp. 

“Looks like he’s not getting a lot of things tonight.” your eyes found Carter, who was already looking at you with a wide smile. You took a deep breath, prying your eyes away from the boy and looking around the small circle that formed in the hall. “Well, boys, if you’ll excuse me-”

“Y/n!” you sighed then, unable to suppress a physical reaction to having your name yelled across the hall for the second time today. You were annoyed, given that this was only the second time Mat was speaking to you today and it had all of the same intentions as his last attempt. 

“Yes?” you turned over your shoulder to see not only Mat but Tito as well, both looking at you as if you’d grown two extra heads. Tito looked to Mat, expecting him to answer your questioning eyes, but he never did. He just stared at you, lips parted but never speaking. 

Truth be told, you needed him to say something. You needed him to say something because he was the one that had left you in the dark this week. He was the one that was going through a time so tough he took it out on you. You did your part, but Mat had yet to do his part, and it was killing you on the inside. 

“I have to go.” you took off in the direction you were originally walking, searching for your next post in the stands. 

You tried to distract yourself, but it didn’t seem to be working. Your hands were shaky while you tried to snap shots as much as you could, and when Mat had a breakdown on the ice, it all went even further downhill. 

Carter didn’t take the brute of it, which surprised you in all honesty, but you weren’t all that surprised when your number 13 was going hit for hit with their 11. Gloves were dropped in the last three minutes of the game, both of them walking away with sore knuckles and five minute majors. 

You weren’t even sure what started it, seeing as you were trying to snap a picture of Tito taking a shot on goal, the other two dropping their gloves on a different part of the ice and out of your view. You couldn’t watch it, instead dug your chin into your chest and tugged on the roots of your hair in frustration. You knew that the Flyers were going to win, given their four goal lead and the Islanders’ inability to get their shit together it seemed. You knew Mat was going to hit a rough practice tomorrow, and it somehow made you more excited to have a hotel room to yourself and the morning off. 

You didn’t see Mat until you got back to your room, shoulders slumped and exhaustion raking through your body. You pushed the door to your room open and jumped a foot in the air at the sight of your boyfriend sitting at the foot of the bed, hands clasped together in his lap and head hung low. He was anxious, you could tell by his posture and the fact that he wouldn’t meet your eyes. 

A sick feeling resided in your stomach when a minute passed and neither of you spoke up, both waiting for the other to take the leap. Mat tried to collect his thoughts, despite having plenty of time to do so while he waited for you. He wasn’t even sure how he made it back before you, if he was honest. 

“Where have you been?” it was a bad lead in retrospect, given that he showed no real care as to where you were at any other point in the week. That on top of the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place made for a bad start to a hard conversation. 

“Working, Mat. I do more than snap pictures of the team at games and run back home.” he knew that. He knew because he’d been the one that woke up in the middle of the night to you relentlessly editing things and piecing things together for a deadline. He was the one that woke up to an empty bed, finding you posted up at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee beside you and your head burning from the strain on your eyes. 

You didn’t, however, tell him exactly what you were doing. You were working, yes, but you kept specifics to yourself. He didn’t deserve specifics when he was acting like this. You deserved an apology, an explanation, quite literally anything more than you currently had before you had to give out your whereabouts. 

“I’m sorry this week’s been the way it has. I just- there’s a lot going on right now and I can’t get it all under control.” you sighed, setting your camera bag down on the desk before standing in front of Mat

 “It’s fine if you don’t have things under control all the time.” you set your hands on his shoulders and waited for him to look up at you, eyes filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite map out. “It’s not fine that you take things out on me when I didn’t cause you this distress.” 

“I know.” he spoke softly, understanding that he was doing something wrong but not entirely providing a solution for it, nor figuring out a way to fix it. “I’m going to figure it out. I’m sorry.” 

You nodded, accepting the soft kiss he silently asked for. You let him stay the night, though you couldn’t fall asleep. You leaned back into his chest, held his arm that was wrapped around you close to your chest, but you couldn’t sleep. You didn’t sleep for more than an hour or two before Mat’s alarm went off and he left for practice. 

You were able to sleep after Mat left, only logging about three hours before your own alarm went off and you had to make it to the rink. The day seemed to be uneventful for a while, but when you finished all of the things you had to do for the day and found a seemingly decent restaurant to stop in on your way back to the hotel, you were met with four smiling faces that you recognized easily. 

“Y/n!” Carter’s voice caught your ear easily, making you spin around in line, seeing the smiling boy give you a gentle wave from the table he was sitting at with the others, all who offered you a similar expression. 

You held up one of your fingers, seeing four boys nod at you in response as they waited for you to order your food. By the time you ordered and paid, grabbing the number that the cashier slid across the counter to you and spinning around, there was a chair at the end of the table that Travis was sitting in, leaving the spot in the booth beside Carter vacant. All four of the boys were pointing at the seat, ushering you into it with wide smiles. 

“Well this is a pleasant surprise.” you smiled warmly at the boys as you approached their table, sliding into the seat they vacated for you. 

“You’re telling us.” Carter offered, his smile cutting through you just like it did every other time it was given to you. 

Carter was cute, that much you could admit to. You hadn’t spent much time with him other than the other day when showed you around the rink, but you’d talked to him more than your own boyfriend in the past week so that was saying something. You were grateful for his hospitality, and even if you knew there was something else brewing beneath the surface, it wasn’t anything you were going to acknowledge and you certainly weren’t going to act on it. 

The rest of the boys were nice. Travis was a bit of a pest, but Nolan was able to keep him under control most of the time. They balanced each other out and you were aware of that from the very beginning. Joel was a nice kid, not the loudest in the room but certainly not the quietest either. Overall you had a good time sitting with and talking to them, appreciating the good company in a time where you had felt pretty isolated. 

They showed you a few places around Philly, sticking things within walking distance of the restaurant the five of you came from. It was fun, being able to forget about the chaos going on in your life for once. They even walked you back to your hotel, leaving you with each of their phone numbers to assist you in the rest of your time in Philly, and warm smiles. 

Just as they were leaving, Carter hung back for a bit to offer you a softer smile than the one he was giving you throughout the day, his eyes telling you that there was something brewing in his mind, something he had been holding back about all day. 

“I just wanted to say that you’re doing great. I don’t know what’s going on in your life, that much is obvious, but you deserve better.” he gave you one last smile and told you to call him if you needed anything at all before turning to catch up with his teammates. 

Carter’s words hung in your mind longer than you would’ve expected. They made you rethink everything that had occurred in your life over the last few months, every up and down, every bridge you built both by yourself and with others. You wondered if you were where you were supposed to be, if this is where you were meant to be in life and how long you were meant to be there. 

You loved Mat. You loved him completely, but there were things missing. You weren’t sure what it was, and part of you wanted to believe that you were just in the middle of a rough patch, but a greater part of you knew better. You knew that Mat was going through the thick of it, and your mind couldn’t help but wander over the chance that the time for you and Mat had run its course. 

You went another night without sleep, the stress from overthinking yourself into oblivion making it impossible to get any consistent sleep throughout the night. It showed in the way that your bags were deeper, darker than normal and the way you yawned every few minutes. However, instead of dozing off in your seat or complaining about your lack of sleep, you grabbed a coffee with two extra shots of espresso on your way to the rink and threw yourself into your work. 

You were neck deep in assignments, legs tucked under you and headphones stuck in your ears when a flash of blue entered your sight, prying your eyes away from your laptop and casting them up to the blue eyed boy from Quebec. He was looking at you like you’d done something wrong, like the world was on fire around you and you were holding a match. 

You and Tito were good friends, especially after you started dating Mat. with the two of them being inseparable and Mat making a special place for you in his life, you and Tito naturally spent a lot of time together. You were good friends, honestly, but there was never a time when Tito took your side over Mat’s. Sometimes he passed judgment without hearing every side of every story, but you understood. You knew that Mat needed people to lean on when the two of you were in the thick of it, you just wished it didn’t morph Tito’s opinion on you. 

“What can I do for you, Beau?” he hummed, a noise of disapproval that you had heard from him too many times to count. He sat beside you, not surprised to see you shut your laptop and turn your attention towards him. 

“The two of you need to figure this out soon. You need to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it, and by god you need to get him out of his head.” You could tell his intentions were genuine, that he just wanted his friends to be happy, but he wanted the two of you to be happy together, and you weren’t sure there was any more room for that. 

“I’ve tried, Beau-”

“No, you haven’t. You haven’t tried, because when the two of you try, things get resolved.”

“You’re right. When the two of us try, we fix things. When the two of us work through things together, we come out of it alive. But you’re missing the big picture, Tito. the two of us aren’t trying. I’m trying. I’ve been trying. I try so hard, and he gives me absolutely nothing. He ignores me for days, only speaks to me when we fly out to a different city and he sees me interacting with somebody who isn’t him. It’s not my fault, Tito, and I know that’s hard for you to see because you’re so far up his ass that you can’t see the bigger picture but here I am. I’m here telling you how to see things for once and I’m begging you that you just hear me out.”

He was speechless, but nodded. He didn’t know what to say to you, but he wanted to hear you out because the crack in your voice and the exhaustion that was bringing tears to our eyes was breaking his heart right in front of you. 

“I’m trying, whole heartedly. I ask what’s wrong and I offer solutions, and he takes none of it. He comes into my hotel room with a key, that I'm not even sure how he got, and he tells me he’s sorry but then nothing changes. He stopped coming over after practices, and gets annoyed when I have deadlines I can’t miss. I try and he doesn’t, and if that makes us fall apart then so be it, Tito, because I can’t fucking do it anymore.” your eyes burned, filled to the brim with tears you tried to suppress as Tito looked at you like you were fragile. He looked at you like you were the broken one, like if he even touched you on the shoulder you’d break into a million pieces. 

“Y/n-”

“I have to go.” you stood up, grabbing your things that sat around your seat and took off in any direction that looked safe enough for you to escape the headspace you were slipping into. 

You’d made it down one hall and around a few corners before you ran into somebody, the impact shaking you enough to have you distracted from the intrusive thoughts you were having. You looked up, met with soft eyes and a look of concern that had your heart sinking further into your stomach than it already had been. His hands reached out, brushing hair out of your face and holding your head back long enough for him to try to piece together what could be wrong. 

“What happened?” your lip wobbled then, enough for your chin to twitch and have you bite down roughly on your bottom lip. 

Carter grabbed your hand, the one that wasn’t gripping onto your laptop, and pulled you into a room not too far from your place in the hall. It was a small room, only met for equipment that had no other home, but it was enough to get you out of the wide open hallway where anyone would be able to see the breakdown you were about to endure. 

He pried the items out of your arms, set them on the shelf beside you so your mind would be at ease with their safety, and wrapped his arms around you. He didn’t know you very well, but he saw the way you reacted to physical touch. He saw the way you leaned into hugs or shook people’s hands for a second longer than most. He made a judgment call within seconds, but he knew he did the right things when you pressed your face into his chest and let out sobs that you’d been holding back for weeks. 

He didn’t pester you nor rush you, just held you in the room that could be classified as a closet and let you get everything out. You clung to him, and he held you softly, hands running up and down your back in a soothing manner while he waited for you to catch your breath. 

When you did, he pulled back, soft smile still as heavy as it always had been. He waited for your cue, something to tell him it was okay to pry. He didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, and he had no idea where the lines were drawn so it was a dangerous game. 

“It’s too much.” you whispered softly, closing your eyes gently while Carter hummed, not entirely understanding your words. 

“What’s too much?”

“Everything. Everyone’s expectations, everyone’s thoughts and opinions. The fact that i’m trying to fix a relationship all on my own and still getting the heat for it not working out. Having a full time job where I can’t run away from problems in my personal life. I wish I was still in college, wish I wasn’t surrounded by these people who are staring at me like I’ve burned down the entire planet when I’m the only one that’s trying to save it.” 

He listened the whole way through, not interrupting nor giving his unwarranted thoughts and while it was just a common courtesy, it was groundbreaking for you. To be able to pour out everything you’re feeling and thinking without someone trying to pick your brain on the subject was refreshing. You couldn’t remember the last time you put everything out on the table like that without seeing it knocked off right after. 

“Hey” you looked up at him, sniffling softly and watching his lips turn up in a smile at the sound. “You’re okay. It’ll all be okay. If you feel invalidated or uncomfortable in the situation you’re in, there’s always an out. Even if it feels like there’s not, even if it feels impossible to claw your way to the exit, there’s always a way out. And if you need help getting there, I know a guy or two who’d be willing to help.” 

Carter had a way of knocking you off of your feet with a simple sentence. His words cut through you like a song you’d never heard before, like lyrics that dig so deep you feel like it was written just for you. Carter was picking your brain in the gentlest way possible, and you were eating up every single second of it. 

You thanked him for his comfort, for his ear and his wisdom. You were sure that there were things you would have to do in the coming days that would be harder than you could’ve ever imagined, but you were sure that they were necessary in order to better your life for yourself. 

You were going to get through this.

All was said and one until the door swung open and you stepped out of the equipment room, locking eyes with the one person on the Flyers bench that didn’t know the meaning of the word silence. Travis meant well most of the time, truly, but that didn’t mean you’d spill all of your secrets to him. 

But he smiled at you softly, noticing your red rimmed eyes and tear tracks on your cheek. He saw the look that Carter gave him from behind you and so he simply put his fingers up to his lips as if locking them shut and tossed the key over his shoulder. It was simple, but effective, and he truly had every intention of keeping the knowledge to himself, until he was standing on the ice face to face with the centerman that dropped his gloves opposite him the other night and well, Tk found an opening. 

You weren’t sure what was said, nor who started it, but you were sure that in the middle of the second period with a tied game, tensions were not high enough for there to be multiple scrums on the ice. 

No other fight mattered until your eyes locked in on Mat saying something, neck vein popping out and spit flying. Whatever he said must have struck a chord with Travis because in an instant, you saw Travis’s lips moving and Mat’s fist flying. It was his second fight in two games and it was highly unlike him to fight this often, but it seemed that he was on edge. 

The tension didn’t boil down for the rest of the game, chirps only growing more intense and penalties being called more often than not. It was a head banger, a nail biter, and you were almost distracted from your work to watch it. 

Mat was enraged by the time you got to him. His body picked up a couple more cuts and bruises, one that landed on his right cheek bone from a high stick in the beginning of the third. His knuckles were bruised from punching Tk and his eyes were darker than the bright blue color you adored. 

You knew it had everything to do with you when the rest of the team sent you careful looks, both of disapproval and warning. You knew something was wrong, something had happened and you were unintentionally standing in the middle of it. When Tito passed you, a scoff dropping from his lips and his shoulder knocking yours gently, you knew it was bad. 

“Beau?”

“Oh I'm not helping you out of this one.” he said softly, a careful look thrown over his shoulder at Mat who was glaring at you from his place against the wall. “You have to go fix that one by yourself.” 

You wanted to shove him away from you, wanted to tell him that he was being ridiculous and unfair, but you didn’t. Instead, you let him grab his back and walk out towards the bus that would take you all to the airport. 

“Mat-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” his voice was low and dark, an animosity dripping from his tongue that you’d never heard him use before. He walked past you, leaving the rest of the guys to let out low whistles and shoot you apologetic looks because in retrospect, they witnessed what happened on the ice. You still had no idea. 

“It’s bad, y/n.” You looked over at Marty who stood a few feet away from you, throwing his bag over his shoulder and shooting you a careful look. “I’ve never seen him so mad.” 

You sighed and thanked him, giving him one more thanks when he said he’d save you a seat on the plane and took off after Mat. he wasn’t too far ahead, but his angry strides took him far enough to send you into a jog through the facility. 

“Mat, wait! Mat! Jesus, Mat just talk to me!” he paused in stride, turned on the balls of his feet and glared into you from his place across the hall. 

“Frankly, I don’t want to hear it, y/n. I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want to be round you. I want you to leave me the fuck alone.” he went to turn again, hoping that that was good enough to get you off of his back for now. 

“So we’re just going to ignore it until it blows over? That’s not going to fix anything Mathew!” he dropped his bag, loud and harsh against the tile beneath his feet. He spun around and strode up to, face to face with mere inches between you. 

“There’s nothing to fix. You made your point, you chose your side, and you chose to throw me out to the wolves like I never meant anything to you. So yes, we’re going to ignore it for now but no, it won’t blow over. If you wanted to fix things you shouldn’t be shacking up with goalies in closets.” 

“I wasn’t shacking up with anybody in a closet you douche. I was crying in that closet because you’re too stubborn to talk to me. I’m trying so hard, and you’re giving me absolutely nothing to work with. You send Beau to convince me to fix things but you’re not even trying, Mat! You’re the one ignoring me and I’m supposed to fix things?”

“You’re not supposed to cheat on me!” you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to suppress the emotions bubbling over currently. You were trying to get through this conversation but it was defeating, and having him yell at you in front of his entire team was not helping. 

“I didn’t ch-”

“That’s bullshit! You expect me to believe you were just hanging out in there for fun?”

“She was crying, dude.” Mat looked over your shoulder at the same time you let out a string of profanities under your breath. Why he was here right now, you had no idea, but you had a feeling it wasn’t going to help any. 

“You’ve got some nerve to be here right now.” Carter shrugged, showing no intimidation towards Mat at all. He wasn’t scared, wasn’t backing down, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stand by and watch Mat scream at you for something you didn’t even do. 

“You’ve got some nerve to scream at her like that.” When Mat moved you pressed both of your hands into his chest, steady and hard enough to keep him in his place, not even taking a step towards Carter. 

A silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable like polluted air that clogged your lungs. Everyone could feel it but nobody made a move. Nobody stood up or down, not weighing in to the conversation with a viewpoint on either side. Everyone simply watched, waiting for you or Mat to say something to the other one, or maybe for you to say something to Carter. 

Mat looked down at you, eyes still dark as they were earlier, jaw clenched and breathing fairly regular. He looked angry, angrier than he ever was off the ice. You wanted him to know you didn’t do anything with Carter, nothing more than crying into his chest about problems like the one you were currently stuck in. But then he spoke, he spoke and you felt everything around you wither away. 

“Get on the bus right now, or we’re through.” he picked up his bag and gave both you and Carter one final glance before taking a few steps backwards. He was waiting for you to move, waiting for you to choose your side right here, right now. 

“Y/n.” Carter’s voice was much more gentle than Mat’s, giving you a break from the screaming and crying. It broke his heart when you glanced over your shoulder and showcased red rimmed eyes and wet cheks just like you had earlier. He knew you were hurting, knew you were in a sticky situation that you couldn’t find your way out of, and all he wanted to do was help. 

“Now, y/n.” you looked back at Mat, who had stopped walking by now and was raising his eyebrows in your direction. 

It was harder than it should’ve been. You’d known Carter for just over 48 hours and while you appreciated everything he had done for you in the short amount of time, Mat was your boyfriend. Mat was there in times you thought you’d never make it out of. He knew you, knew how you operated. He knew things about you that you didn’t even know about yourself, and he held a piece of your heart in his hands, even if he didn’t protect it the way he used to. 

You couldn’t walk away from Mat, but there was a hesitation in your movements. Your slow movements as you wiped your cheeks and walked towards him, head hung low and accepting the arm that was thrown around your shoulders. 

You didn’t turn to see Carter’s face, didn’t even look up to see Mat’s. You didn’t want to see either of them, didn’t want to talk to them or hear what they had to say. All you wanted right now was to crawl into your bed at home and cast out the world around you. 

“You made the right choice, baby.” The kiss that dug into the side of your head was anything but comforting, if anything it was degrading. It was his way of showing you that choosing him was the easier path, that he would’ve flipped the world completely upside down if you had turned on your heels moments ago. 

You and Mat didn’t come to a conclusion that night. You didn’t resolve anything nor did you truly talk about anything. Instead, you let him into your bed and you let him drive away the pain that he caused over the course of the last few weeks. You let him convince you he’d be better, that he loved you and he’d do anything to be there for you. You let him convince you that he was the one for you, that nobody could make you feel the things that he did and while you believe all of this at one point, you weren’t sure you still did. 

You added another night to the count of sleepless ones, basking in your thoughts and the ache in your chest after Mat dozed off. Having him just behind you was oddly comforting despite the fact that thoughts in your head were too loud for sleep. 

Another week went by before anyone said anything, despite the few Flyers that were blowing your phone up with messages to check if you were okay and ask why you went with Mat when he clearly didn’t deserve an ounce of your attention. You explained that you loved him, that he was your boyfriend and you owed him a clean break if that’s what ended up happening. You also worked with the Islanders, and you couldn’t just stay in Philly with no way to get back home and hours away from work. 

Carter had been receptive and understanding, though you weren’t sure you expected much else from him. He didn’t expect you to stay, didn’t even expect you to choose him over Mat, but he expected you to do better for yourself. He expected you to be strong for yourself, to offer yourself a better future than the one you were seemingly drawing up for yourself. 

It wasn’t until you got a peculiar phone call that you were even thrown out of the routine of clawing your way through the night and chasing it down with a large coffee and one too many espresso shots. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, Ms. Y/l/n?” 

“This is she.” 

“Hi Ms. Y/l/n, this is Chuck Fletcher with the Philadelphia Flyers. I was wondering if you had a minute to talk.” 

You did a 180 after that phone call, pressed with another decision to make and seemingly no time to make it. You didn’t have many people to turn to about the decision, seeing as most all of your friends were biased in their decision making. Your friends loved Mat. They loved Mat and they loved going to Islanders games. 

You called Carter after you hung up the phone, anger bubbling over to the point of tears by the time he answered the phone just to let you rip into him. You accused him of getting you the job as the Flyers’ photographer just to have you closer to him, just to pry you away from Mat and New York as a whole. You accused him of not even knowing your skill level, just using this as a ploy to ask you on a date if you showed up. 

He listened the whole time, waited for a break in your words to ask if you were serious, to tell you that he’d seen your portfolio because his GM brought it over when he noticed Carter had spoken to you. He told you that he had no say in you getting this job offer other than him telling his GM about the sincere interactions he’d had with you. He put in a good word for your personality, but he never made a comment about your skill level. 

Now, you had a decision to make. A decision that would lead to many other decisions, so you thought. You thought you’d have to make a yes or no decision that would snowball into so many decisions you’d be left to suffocate in unanswered questions. Little did you know that by making one decision, the rest were made for you. 

“You’re doing what?” you sighed, trying to find the point in this conversation where you’d be left with a new job and a happy relationship, but it seemed as though that wasn’t in the cards for you. 

“I’m moving to Philly-”

“It’s because of him isn’t it?” you shook your head gently, feeling the weight of the world trying to shove you beneath the surface. It was weighing you down, pushing you further and further until you reached the core of it all. 

“It’s because it’s a better job for me, Mat.”

“How in the hell is a better job for you?” he didn’t believe you. Not after everything that happened. He didn’t think there were possibly any other explanations for your move. 

“It pays more, the cost of living is cheaper in Philadelphia, I get more benefits with the Flyers and I get-”

“A new boyfriend.” you paused, took a deep breath. You tried to breathe through the panic coursing through your body, tried to assure yourself that you must have heard him wrong.

“A what?”

“If you move to Philly, you get a new boyfriend. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You don’t want me anymore, you want him. So he gets you a big new fancy job and you get to leave New York, right? Because you didn’t want to live in New York your whole life so this is the time to get out. This is the time for you to leave your life behind, to start fresh and meet new people. It’s time for you to start looking for studios, right? For you to start booking freelance shit.” 

He comes to the realization too late, when he’s already said enough things to hurt you for a lifetime. He realizes that you moving makes more sense than he wants it to. You never wanted to stay in New York for your whole life. Sure, if things with Mat ended up better than they did, you would’ve stayed for him in a heartbeat. You would’ve gone wherever his career took him because yours can truly be done anywhere, but he knew New York wasn’t your preferred state to live in. 

The Mat you fell in love with, the one that took you on dates to your favorite restaurants and brought you home flowers just because, was finally coming back to the surface. The one that offered you his heart on a platter without asking for it, and treated yours with the gentlest touch. You were seeing him again, for the first time in a long time. You wanted to hold onto him, to open up your heart and make room for him again but the truth was there was no more room. You’d vacated a space for him a long time ago and he threw it away. It was too late for that Mat to come back.

“It’s giving you room to grow right? But the growth is different this time. The growth is away from me, apart from me. The growth is individual now, all on your own, but that’s good. That’s good because you need to grow and I- I’m not right for you anymore.” he started shaking his head, letting the dam of tears that he had kept in for so long finally burst. 

You were there to catch him, to hold him tightly and kiss his damp cheeks. You were there to assure him that he deserves the world, that you tried to give that to him but truthfully, maybe you just weren’t trying the right things. You assured him that he wasn’t a bad person, that he wasn’t good for you but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be good for somebody else. 

You were there to catch Mat when he fell, and you helped him stand back up again. 

Now you were walking away, your head held high and a smile finally living on your lips as you assured him that this was good for both of you in more ways than one. You were going to be okay, and you were sure that Mat was going to be okay too. 

So you moved to Philly. You moved into an apartment not too far from the rink, one with a cheese steak place right around the corner. You started working with the Flyers and seemingly fell right into place with them. You made friends and found your footing, feeling like everything leading up to now was exactly for this. All of the pain and hardships you endured was for this, for you to feel like you had finally done the right thing for yourself rather than for everyone else. 

You made the right decision. 

-

italics mean it wouldn’t let me tag you!

barzy taglist; @extratragic @babytkachuks @heybarzy @teenagekook @stfukie @smit41 @kiedhara @sidscrosbyy @golfergirl810 @baby-cat-nol-pat @c-hartsy @storiesbymads @aasimarr​ @bucky-ish​

and the himbos, as always; @barzysthighs​ @damndunner​ @anxietyandtacos​ @dmonchld​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @bricksatlandyswindow​ 

[lovethisletters]

Devilish nights || A fantastic 3 one-shot!

I love this idea ngl, I love the dynamic between the three of them! And I tried to do them justice here but... there's definitely a Whole ass ranch for improvement... :C

also Diavolo is Mexa xd

Summary: the fantastic three go to a concert but things don't go as planned.

Additional notes: I was going to make this a comic but decided against it since it was gonna take me much more time to finish it, but perhaps I'll do it as a small follow up to this one-shot.

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There's a reason why the Demon elite are very protective of their private life...you see: everyone has a side of their personality only the ones closest to us are allowed to see and for the demon prince, the avatar of pride and the loyal butler this is no exception.

—Uhhh?!?! You're going out?!!—all 6 brothers questioned in surprise.

—Yes, and I hope that when I arrive, the house is not a mess!— Replied the avatar of pride as he placed a distinctive blue coat over his shoulders.

—Ehhh? Are you going on vacation to the human realm, Lucifer ?! And without me ?! How cruel!—Asmodeus inquired dramatically, hugging his older brother's arm like a child begging his mother to go out and play.

The black-haired demon was unfazed by the avatar of lust childish demeanor, released himself from his grasp with ease and continued with his speech.

—Diavolo has important matters to resolve in the human realm and he needs me and Barbatos to support him, it is not a vacation.—

—I hope all of you behave in my absence; Satan, you're in charge, ”Lucifer declared.

-What?!?! Satan in charge ?! - the rest complained.

—As much as it bothers me to admit it… Satan is the most responsible among you — Lucifer looked at the blonde demon in the eyes — I'm counting on you — and the avatar of pride came out hurriedly before he could even hear the answer of the fourth brother.

—Don't— whispered the avatar of wrath as his lips settled into a sinister smile at the plan that was being formulated in his head.

[…]

—Ahhh ~ finally it's THE day! I can't wait any longer !!!— upon hearing the title "prince of hell" we could normally assume that the person bearing it is someone intimidating, ruthless and rude; but there he was ... the heir to the throne of the Devildom jumping all over the place with immeasurable enthusiasm, glow sticks in each hand and a white shirt with the image of a sun with the face of Luis Miguel on the chest.

—Diavolo, I'd appreciate it if you could calm down a bit.

—Calm down?! Lucifer! I have been waiting for this for years! I will finally be able to be at a concert of my favorite singer from the human realm! Do you have any idea how much I struggled to get these tickets?!?! I had to do it the human way! line and everything!—The redhead claimed at the lack of enthusiasm from his best friend.

—His majesty stopped time and he moved a couple of old ladies to be able to acquire the tickets in the front row; it would be appreciated if you showed a bit of enthusiasm, Lucifer.—Barbatos finally spoke, the same formal and cold smile always etched on his face to which Lucifer could only replay in the same way.

—Oh! I won't let you two ruin my night with your formalities! At least pretend you're as excited as I am!—Diavolo begged but his stoic companions could only mutter a mocking “yeeei”as they waved their respective glow sticks reluctantly and the prince of hell could only roll his eyes.

[…]

Mistakes happen, they happen when we least expect them and even worse; at too inconvenient moments.

—Quick, Lucifer, we're next!— The tallest of the 3 hurried, still jumping up and down.

—Give me a second — The black-haired demon searched in his pockets for the tickets that Diavolo had asked him to keep until the day of the concert because he was afraid of losing them among all the paperwork that week and knowing the responsible nature of his friend he entrusted them to him .

The thing is ... Lucifer could not find the tickets ... and when he realized this, with all the tranquility of the world: he cleared his throat, clasped his hands and positioned himself firmly like a teacher about to explain something to a child .

—Diavolo, in terms of tickets… I forgot the ttickets— At first the prince of hell gave his friend an incredulous look and even proceeded to laugh.

—Sure, stop playing games, Lucifer— the redhead expected a laugh from his friend followed by him handing over the tickets, but that gesture never came.

—Your Majesty I think Lucifer is not joking— Barbatos corrected

And oh my god, have you ever seen a child's face when you take a toy that he just can’t have out of his hands? And then the endless crying begins? Yes, at that moment the heir to the throne of hell simply bursted in tears.

—It’s Okay, your majesty, everything is going to be fine— The butler tried to calm him down by patting him on the back.

—Diavolo, I can buy others, don't worry— But the redhead only limited himself to pointing at the sign above the theater entrance "Sold out" was written in large letters.

—Well… I guess I owe you the next concert, how about we go to your favorite restaurant, hmm? My treat — Despite his offer, his friend only let out a sigh of despair and helplessness.

—You have no idea where you left them?

—Ummm… I guess in my office…

—Tell your brothers to bring them to you! Please!!— Lucifer was quick to dial Satan's number, because by the way things were he would not be surprised if Diavolo's despair at this moment led him to pray.

By pure chance, Lucifer noticed that he had several unanswered messages and calls from one of the angels: Simeon

—You can't reach them?—the prince questioned

Lucifer just stood there, glaring at his phone with a mixture of regret and anger.

"Damm you Simeon" was all that came to mind.

—Oh? Aren't those Solomon, Simeon and Luke?—Barbatos voice interrupted his thoughts.

And sure enough, there at the entrance of the theatre were the inhabitants of purgatory hall, dressed in human world clothing, waiting in line, the youngest of the group with tickets in hand.

—Oh!? I didn't knew they had bought tickets for this!

—They didn't

—How do you know?

—Because those are YOUR tickets!

—What?!?!—Diavolo's confused expression was quickly met with Lucifer's phone right in front of his face, showing him the text messages.

—I'll go get them—but before the avatar of pride could take another step towards the purgatory hall group, Barbatos hand stopped him in his tracks.

—Your Majesty, I believe Luke's birthday is just in a few days and he seems to be enjoying himself, why don't we let them keep the tickets?—the butler suggested politely.

It took a couple of seconds for the prince of hell tho make his desicion, but the smile on the small angel face made all trace of doubt dissipate, and with a heavy sigh he finally spoke.

— leat it be, Lucifer...

—...are you sure of it, Diavolo?

—yes, perhaps next year we'll go together...all of us, right?

Lucifer was surprised but with a small smile forming on his face he said yes.

—Now... who's hungry?! We should go to the fanciest place in town, after all, It's Lucifer's treat!—the prince joked

—Perhaps the restaurant we attended last year would be fine, your Majesty?

—Ah yes! That would do!

And while Lucifer's wallet had started regretting his desicions, he was happy he could spend this evening with his dearest friends.

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I was going to put a drawing of the fantastic three hanging out but I only did Diavolo bc while I was finishing Barbatos and Lucifer my computer crashed and didn't save anything :c

So here's a Diavolo in front of bellas artes to compensate:

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

[kalinawtokilig]

HQ comforting you (Series)

Heyyyy everyone! Anyone mentally stable not to jump out the window but sad enough to sleep until the next month?

Alright, since I'm in quarantine already having grand arguments with family, I'm going to project my seeping repressed emotions by writing!

Enjoy babes, cause this is gonna be a series of various drabbles, headcanons, of multiple Haikyuu characters being at your side when you feel like everlasting shit :')

I'm starting off with my forever 2D soulmates of Haikyuu! How I'm gonna write this is 5 CHARACTERS each post. Let's start off with the big, bara, Godzilla babe himself-

>How they comfort you:

Iwaizumi Hajime will come home ready to shower and shower you with kisses and cuddles. The best moments with you are having your figure cradled in-between his arms, slightly flexing because he simply adores your attention and craves your compliments. He is ready to be vulnerable with you in the confines of the apartment and he always welcomes you to be vulnerable with him. He will ask you about your day and if you want to vent or rant about something that's been annoying you. When you are done, he'll flood you with soft kisses and proceed to hug you a bit tighter, but not bone-crushing. IWAIZUMI HAJIME understands that you're not made of glass and you're not a fragile flower, but he wants to cherish you and needs you to know that he loves how strong you can be and will appreciate it even more if you let him care for you the way you truly deserve. He has always been known to be the 'Pillar of Strength' by Oikawa, his friends, and his old high school team, he's ready to be a pillar of strength for you. You can cry or punch or kick or scream, he'll be by your side to catch you and help you back up.

Sugawara Koushi will write on post-it notes the reasons why he loves you thus attaching polaroid photos of the shenanigans you pull and the dates you had together. When he's on his lunch break, he will send voice memos of how his day is going and wishes to hear about your day and how you're feeling. When he comes home, you're both tired, BUT he will always go the extra mile for you to run a calming bubble bathe, along with your favorite drink on the small table near the bathtub. SUGAWARA KOUSHI will massage you and crack corny jokes as you both bathe together and once you're done, he will pamper you and tuck you into bed, thus opening the TV to watch a show with you so you can both talk shit about how messy the plot is. Sugawara will trace shapes, hearts, his name, your name, and your name with HIS last name - This man will constantly remind you that you are the reason he pushes him to be his best self and he will be damned if he doesn't help you become your best self- Not because of him... It's cause YOU deserve to be happy and be YOUR best self.

Suna Rintaro will observe the smallest changes or tells in your behavior and the tight smiles that can barely reach your eyes he so lovingly steals glances at to see the playful glint in them, and recognize that you're not feeling your best. Suna would not confront to you about it at first, but he will show through acts of service to tell you that say 'I'm always here for you'. It can be by rushing home early so he can cook for you, if he does come late, he'll order your favorite food from that restaurant or fast food place you really like. Suna will drag you into his arms cause he knows how exhausting putting up with people can be and how emotionally draining arguing with stupid people is - I will tell you once SUNA RINTARO will place your head on his chest so you can focus on the grounding heartbeat, gently massaging the nape of your neck and softly play that playlist he made for you when he realized that he loves you so ever dearly. He'll even ask his little sister to send him those facemasks (even ask her to FT you cause you two click so well) or call up his mother to text him the recipe of that dish you ask him to make because you always pay attention to him, his nonsense, and cater to his needs. He wants to be the person that even though you're about to fall apart, he'll make life a little easier with subtle actions rather than grand gestures.

TENDOU SATORI will go above and beyond to comfort you. He can bake, cook, sing you to sleep, read for you, play a sad anime/cartoon movie for you. He understands how you have your low days and how it can affect your wellbeing. He will understand that you can vent to him, sobbing or 'ugly crying' (which he finds adorable because you still look so pretty crying, pouring your feelings to HIM?!...TENDOU SATORI will always find you beautiful, even if you claim how 'ugly' you cry, or wake up in the morning with drool and messy hair...Who cares? You wipe away the morning glory from his eyes, you take care of him when he comes home tired and slightly sticky from catering his own business, you find HIM attractive and he's always astounded by that!) Tendou can take a day off and be your lovely househusband so when you come home, he'll take care of YOU! This man will remove your shoes, take off your coat, do the laundry, have food ready for you on the coffeetable so you both can watch anime or he'll listen intently to what's bothering you at work! Tendou ALWAYS pays attention to you cause you are his PRIORITY! He knows when he’s hovering and he will step away- he assures you that no matter what’s going on, he’ll be ready to find ways to make you realize how loved you are and how much HE love YOU.

Yachi Hitoka will draw cutesy comics of you and her being the dorks you are, even recreating you reacting to her most embarrassing and clumsy moments. Yachi Hitoka knows how work can be too much, the workload overbearing - she sees it in your posture and the dark bars under your eyes when you finish typing documents and coming to bed, spooning her a bit tightly to remember that she’s here with you. She will wake up a bit earlier to make YOU breakfast and bento box. When you wake up, she peppers your face with kisses and presses her lips upon your knuckles and fingers. When your day off finally comes, she buys a new matching pajama set! Both of you will jam out to music, sing at the top of your lungs cause maybe- the stress you’re carrying will be taken out by doing these activities. She may even suggest going out to eat brunch together, then proceed going to stores that you like and coming home to do a shopping haul! When you don’t have time for that, she’ll go shopping herself to buy the necessities you’re running out of, then extra gifts! YACHI HITOKA will make her own gift as well, something sentimental to add onto the shopping she bought so when you come home and you’re both cuddling, she’ll pull out the gift! Yachi Hitoka will help you FEEL these emotions and she will give you what you need to remind yourself that it’s okay to let yourself loose and be given the care and love.

I kinda cried writing this ngl— I’m having HEART PALPITATIONS 😀😀😀

[mell-bell]

Running from the Past - Part I

Luke Patterson x Reader

Words: 1982

Series Summary: You and Luke became close friends months before he played the Orpheum with Sunset Curve....will he meet you again?

Chapter: 1/?

Part I / Part II  / Part III

TW: Mentions of abuse

Author’s notes: Ngl Julie and the Phantoms is the cutest show ever and I just want all the boys to be happy okay - next part will be post-hotdogs aka time jump

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had met your fair share of bands. Rock stars. Up-and-coming singers. Women who claimed they would make it big. Boys who wanted to be the next big boy band.

You helped your uncle manage the bands that played in his night club. And tonight, the club had booked a new up-and-coming band that had been making the rounds around town. But the lead singer was nowhere to be found. Your uncle sent you to hunt him down, which was why you were running around backstage breaking through door after door trying to find some wanna-be rock star teenager.

“Luke!” You yelled as you slammed yet another door open. A woman in the far back of the room glared at you as she wiped a makeup smear off a young lady’s face.

You mumbled your apologies, slowly pulling the door shut behind you, before taking off down the hall once again. As you rounded the corner, you ran headfirst into someone, both of you shrieking as you slammed to the ground in a jumble of limbs.

“Woah!” The shaggy hair boy in front of you exclaimed as he pulled away from you, stumbling ungracefully to his feet.

He offered you his hand, but you ignored him as you stood slowly.

You squinted your eyes as you looked him up and down. A smirk formed on his face as he watched you look him over. Just as he opened his mouth, probably to say something smart, you shoved a finger in his face and the smirk slipped off his face.

“Luke?”

The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded.

Without wasting another second, you grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him down the hall. The boy stumbled over his feet as you pulled him along behind you.

“Where are we going? Damn your grip is hella tight. Could you maybe let up?” He stopped as you threw him another glare, “....no? Okay.”

He managed to remain silent as you continued down the hall until you both passed by a grinning Alex, who had just stepped out of your uncle’s office. Luke reached out to him for help, but the blonde boy just held up his hands as you passed.

“Not cool, Alex!” Luke yelled. Alex’s laughter echoing behind you.

You finally made it through the door of your uncle’s office and shoved Luke right in front of your uncle’s desk.

“Oh, you found him! You can go help the stagehands set up now!”

You sighed, your head and feet throbbing from searching for rock star for the past two hours. Turning on your heel, you started out the door but skidded to a halt when Luke stepped right in front of you.  

“Wait, can I get your name?” He said, offering you a lopsided smile.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He said slowly, “That’s pretty- I...wait!” He stammered as you walked right around him and out the door.  

He stuck his head out the door of your uncle’s office, “I’ll see you around!”

“No, you won’t!” You yelled back.

“Yes, I will!”

You smiled as you rounded the corner. Maybe one day you would see him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two months passed and you arrived at your uncle’s club earlier than normal. It was too early to set up the stage, so you wandered around aimlessly backstage. As you rounded the corner, you tripped over something, slamming hard to the ground.

“Crap sorry!” The man scrambled to his feet and helped you up, “Y/N?”

Your eyes widened as you met Luke’s green eyes, “Larry?”

He rolled his eyes and held out his hand, “Luke.”

“Nah, I like Larry better.” You shook his hand quickly before taking a step back and running a hand through your hair nervously, “You playing here again?”

The boy nodded, a grin lighting up his whole face. He looked at you as if waiting for you to say something.

You stumbled over your words, “Um - well I should....” You pointed behind you and started to slowly back away.

“Wait! Keep me company until the rest of my band gets here?” He begged, pouting his lip out.

A smile pulled at the corner of your mouth, and with the roll of your eyes you motioned for him to sit back on the ground. He did. You plopped down next to him, settling yourself up against the wall.

“So you work here?”

You shook your head, “I help my uncle, I don’t really like staying at home, so he allows me to help out around here.”

Luke’s eyes grew darker as he nodded knowingly.  

You both continued to talk and before long you were laughing as he stood in front of you, guitar in hand, trying to write a song that rhymed with your name.

“It’s not going to work.” You chuckled.

“It will. It will. Hold on I’ll get it.” He strummed the guitar again, his mouth wide open, but no words came out, “Okay, maybe not.”

“Y/N!” A voice echoed down the hall, “Your uncle needs you.”

Sighing, you stood up, brushing off your jeans. You hesitated for a second, turning to face Luke, “I’ll see you around?”

Luke smiled as you walked away and just before you rounded the corner he called out, “Hey if you ever need a place to stay that’s not here, we have a pretty comfortable couch in our studio.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month passed and you saw Luke more than you thought you would.

You were friendly, but you tried to keep your distance. There was a reason you didn’t have many friends. And you didn’t want to drag Luke into your family drama.

When you heard footsteps around the corner, you curled in on yourself hoping whoever it was would ignore you. Your pencil continued to scratch lightly over the paper as you continued to sketch.

When the footsteps sounded closer, your shoulders stiffened as you saw Luke step up beside you.

You shot to your feet and darted away. But he followed after you, his puppy dog eyes wide as he tried to get your attention. When he lightly grabbed your arm, you turned your eyes flashing at him.

He took a step back.

You sighed, “Sorry.”

“No,” He stepped back a little more, “I’m sorry.”

You closed your eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, “It’s just...”

“You don’t have to tell me.” His voice was soft.

You sank to the ground, burying your face in your hands as you took deep breath after deep breath. A few seconds later you felt him settle beside you.

Luke began to speak, probably to apologize when you abruptly look up straight into his eyes, “I don’t have the best home life I mentioned before. It’s gotten worse and I don’t....”

He grimaced as your once bright eyes began to darken as bad memories were pulled to the surface. Your eyes glazed over as you turned to stare at the wall opposite you.

Luke was quiet for a few minutes before moving closer to you. He gently took the sketch pad that you held tightly to your chest.  

He began to speak, softly and slowly about how he ran away from home because he and his mom had a horrible fight. And he wanted to go back because he missed her and didn’t want to disappoint her, but he needed to prove to her that music was his thing. As he continued speaking, you began to relax in his presence. Everything he spoke of was in a way similar to what you were going through.

As the weeks passed, you both grew closer and you began to trust him more and more, telling him more about yourself and your family. He was easy to talk to and you felt safe telling him your secrets because he had secrets of his own. He listened without judgment and offered support without forcing it on you.

You didn’t know how different everything would be after this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked up to the garage hesitantly. Alex’s parents had explained where the studio was in the back of the house, and that you should just follow the sound of the music.

You gripped the strap of your bag tighter and raised your hand to knock on the door. But you froze. Sighing you turned. But before you could walk away, the door creaked open behind you.

“Y/N?”

You froze and turned around slowly, refusing to meet the boy’s eyes.

Luke was looking at you confused, his eyes darting to the packed duffel bag on your shoulder, to your downcast face.

“I...um.” You swallowed hard, still looking at the ground. You took a hesitant step back.

But before you could run, Luke stepped up to you, his hand raising, gently lifting your chin. Your eyes darted to the side, so they didn’t meet his.

His own eyes darkened when he saw the bruise on your cheek but knew better than to breach the topic.

“Can I stay here for a few days?” You said faintly.

Luke’s eyes roved your face, and for a moment you thought he would refuse. But then he pulled the bag from your shoulder, slinging it over his own. His other arm lifted to wrap around your shoulder as he led you into the studio.

“Boys! We have a guest!”

Alex and Reggie looked up, both smiling widely when they saw you. They ran over, about to pull you into a group hug, when Luke raised his hand causing them to skid to a halt. They both froze at the sight of your bruised face.

You cringed, waiting for the bombardment of question. But instead, they led you over to the couch and Reggie began a long rant about the new Star Wars that was supposed to come out in a few years, until you were giggling on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You snuggled into the couch, wearing one of Luke’s sweaters you had “confiscated” a few months ago. It was big on you and hung down below your knees. You had the sleeves rolled numerous times yet they were still long enough to fall over your hands.

“Y/N? I need opinions on what to wear for our Orpheum performance tomorrow night and- is that my sweater?”

You didn’t bother looking up as you continued sketching a new Sunset Curve Album cover, “That it is.”

When Luke didn’t say anything, you raised your head to look at him, your brows furrowing, “Are those my slippers?”

“Yes. Can I ask why you’re wearing it?” He said softly.

You tilted your head, confused at his statement, “What?”

“The sweater. My sweater. Why are you wearing it?”

You definitely blame your sleepy brain for your next response, “It makes me feel safe.”

After a beat of silence and a slight quirk of Luke’s mouth, you realized what you had said. Stumbling over your words you frantically spit out, “Nope, I didn’t say that. Ignore that.”

Luke’s smile took up his whole face. He looked you up and down before his eyes widened, “Wait.  Isn’t that the sweater I was looking for months ago?”

“Well…”

“Y/N!” Luke exclaimed, “I asked you for weeks what happened to it! I can’t believe you had it all this time. Have you taken anything else I’ve been looking for?!”

You scoffed, lightly blushing, “What no of course not why would I ever do that….?”

Lies. You always wore his clothes. His shirts to bed. His pants during cold days. His sweatshirts. You loved his shirts and sweaters the best. They smelled like him. They made you feel safe. You loved being able to cuddle up at night tucked in something that reminded you of him. You loved falling asleep surrounded by his scent. Especially if you were feeling particularly down or sad, his scent would wrap you in a cocoon of safety until you relaxed.

[davidpastrsnack]

drive (pt. 2) - matthew tkachuk

a/n: ngl i’m not obsessed with this chapter. it’s kind of a filler but i promise things will get more juicy in the next one. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

part one

Your eyebrows furrowed at his words as you looked at him in complete shock. 

You must have been hearing things, because there was no way Matthew just asked you to move to Calgary with him. 

“What?” you exclaimed. “You’re right, I do think you’re crazy,” you said with a chuckle. 

Matthew sat up straighter in the chair preparing to make his case, your body shifting with his. 

“Why? You’re just going to live at home while you try to figure out this job stuff, so why not do it with me in Calgary?” he spoke like it was the most obvious thing ever. 

He was dead serious about this. 

“Matthew, it's not that simple. I can’t just pick up and move with no plan. And to a different country? There’s a little thing called a border.”

“I’ll have my agent help with anything you need for your visa and I have a spare bedroom. Come on, Y/N. No offense to them, but do you want to spend your first year out of college living with your parents or with me?” he questioned. 

You rolled your eyes at his comment, you knew he loved your parents but he had a point. Still, there was just no way this would work out. You had only met some of his teammates once before, and now you’re just supposed to join their circle? Not to mention your feelings for him were at the forefront of your mind. You felt lucky that you never had to watch girl after girl fall at his feet because that wasn’t his life back home. It was a perfect example of ignorance is bliss. Moving to the city with him would rip that ignorance away and you didn’t know if you could handle that. 

You were silent for a minute, the only sound being the crackling of the fire and the crickets. You looked down and played with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, trying to gather your thoughts as he gazed at you hopefully. 

“Matty,” you started, “I appreciate you trying to help me, but I don’t see this happening. I don’t even have a job, how am I supposed to pay for a huge move like this?” you asked, not expecting an answer, but he had one anyway. 

“Is that a joke?” He laughed. “Not to sound like an asshole, but have you seen my contract? Y/N, I have more money than I’ll ever know what to do with.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “When have you ever tried not to sound like an asshole.”

He scoffed right back, but the words that followed were his most sincere of the night. “Just think about it, please, Y/N. I hate to see you so stressed about everything, you don’t deserve it. So just let me take care of you,” he whispered, looking up at you with the softest eyes. 

Your heart ached at his words. No matter how much you denied it, you were completely and utterly fucked for this man. If you went with him you knew it would only be a matter of time before you exposed yourself, which would most likely result in your lifelong friendship blowing up. You couldn’t let that happen. 

But before you could speak again, he opened his mouth, “Listen, I’m not letting you say no tonight. Sleep on it.”

“Fine,” you groaned, standing up from your post across his thighs. “I’ll think about it.”

He jumped up after you, throwing his arm around your shoulders pulling you in close while you both walked towards the house. 

“Just think about how much fun we’re gonna have. It’s cold though, you’re gonna have to get over that,” he chirped with a cheeky grin.  

“Well good thing I haven’t said yes,” you teased back, slipping inside the door he held open for you. 

-----

You woke up to the sun pouring through your windows, mentally cursing yourself for forgetting to close the curtains last night. You weren’t surprised though, your brain was absolute mush after hearing Matthew’s proposal. You rolled over to check your phone, the screen reading 7:12am. 

“Fuck,” you mumbled into your pillow. Emma was still passed out next to you, the bright light not at all phasing her. You ran your hands over your face, pausing to tangle them in your hair. It was way too early, but you also knew there was no chance of falling back asleep, so you pulled yourself out of bed and headed into the bathroom. 

You barely slept that night, there was just too much on your mind. The more you thought about it, you realized Matthew was right. It would be good for you to do something new during this time of your life. No matter how much you tried to resist it, you could feel him slowly but surely luring you in. 

You headed downstairs into the kitchen, needing caffeine immediately if you were going to be awake this early. You had the whole space to yourself and you sat on top of the counter while you waited for the coffee machine to heat up. The house was quiet and the view of the lake was helping to calm all your uncertainties. The water was flat like glass, the reflection of the trees clear as a photograph. You quickly got lost in the peaceful image, not even hearing the front door open. 

“Morning, sunshine,” you heard from behind you. 

He may have been on a mini vacation this weekend, but Matthew still started training camp in two weeks. He had clearly just come back from a run, his tall frame standing in front of you in just a pair of sneakers and basketball shorts. His toned chest was glistening with sweat and you had to physically pull your eyes away before he caught you staring. 

“Morning,” you replied, returning your gaze to the windows. 

“What are you doing down here? I’ve never seen you get up before ten unless you absolutely had to,” he spoke as he grabbed water from the fridge. Damn him for knowing you so well. 

“Uh- I don’t know,” you nervously muttered, not wanting to admit that you were up all night thinking about him. 

“Busy making up your mind?” he smirked, leaning against the countertop giving you the perfect view of his flexed arms. 

You rolled your eyes, mumbling a thank you as he slid a cup of coffee towards you, made exactly how you liked it. The two of you sat there for a few minutes slowly sipping the hot liquid from the matching mugs. Matthew was busy texting Keith and his trainer, both making sure that he was staying on track while away from the gym, while you kept admiring the lake. It never failed to amaze you how comfortable you two were around each other. The room was silent, but it wasn’t awkward at all. In that moment you decided it was time to give him an answer, suddenly throwing all caution to the wind. 

“Matty?” you asked, turning your body to face his as he sat on the stool next to you. 

“Hmm?” he responded, putting his phone to the side and meeting your gaze. 

You took in a long breath, wondering if you were really about to do this. 

“I’ll go with you,” you spoke softly. 

The grin that spread on his face was unmatched to anything else you had ever seen. The corners of his mouth were practically reaching his forehead and his baby blue eyes lit up at your words. 

“I’m sorry, what was that? I didn’t quite hear you,” he teased, gloating in the fact that he convinced you. 

“Matthew I will change my mind right now.”

“No, no way,” he stood up, stepping closer and wrapping you up in his arms, squeezing your frame tight as it sunk in that you were really coming with him. 

Your body relaxed in his grasp, your arms slinking around his waist to hold him to you. His head rested on top of yours, both of you so at ease with the other. 

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he whispered. 

“You need to shower,” you joked, feeling like it was time to break the embrace. There was only so long friends could hug platonically and you guys were seconds away from crossing that line. 

He laughed as he finally pulled away, “Whatever you say, roomie.” 

“Roomie?” 

Your head twisted to the other side of the room to see Brady standing in the hall. Great, you thought, just what you needed. It was one thing for you and Matthew to talk about this but you couldn’t deny that you were nervous to see everyone’s reactions, especially both of your families.  

“Y/N is coming to Calgary with me,” Matthew stated. You waited for Brady’s next words, noting the warning glare his older brother was sending him. 

“She is?” he raised his eyebrows, shifting his gaze to you. The look on his face was worth a thousand words: Brady was onto you. 

But little did you know, he was also onto Matthew. 

“Yup,” you anxiously laughed.

To say it was awkward would be the understatement of the century. 

“Alright well I’m gonna go shower,” Matthew broke the silence, moving towards the staircase to go upstairs. 

You and Brady nodded, neither one of you speaking until he was out of sight. Your eyes were focused on the cup of coffee in front you, refusing to make eye contact with him because you knew what was coming. 

“You know, I don’t even think I need to say anything,” he started. 

You scoffed louded at his words, standing up to go back into your room to get ready for the day. You weren’t in the mood for his teasing, especially not when it only reminded you of what you would never have. 

“Y/N, wait,” he pleaded, his attitude quickly shifting, the regret clear in his voice. 

“What, Brady?” you snapped, turning to face him. 

“It’s not just you. He’s compared every girl to you for as long as I can remember.”

You shook your head at him in disbelief. There was no way that was true, and Brady was seriously messed up if he thought screwing with you like this was funny. 

“Look, you don’t have to agree with me right now, but I’m giving you two a month of living together before you finally pull your heads out of your asses,” he stated confidently. 

“Don’t hold your breath,” you chuckled, finally heading up the stairs. 

-----

Just a week later you found yourself arriving at Calgary International Airport, Matthew right by your side. Your parents had been more supportive of your decision than you expected, but then again they had always loved Matthew. The two of you were sitting by the baggage claim waiting for your luggage when the exhaustion of the day finally hit. On top of that, the airline warned that there were baggage delays, so you didn’t plan on getting out of here soon. You didn’t mean to, but you let out an obnoxiously loud yawn as you caught up on your social media feeds. 

“You alright there?” Matthew joked, looking at you with his eyebrows raised. 

“Yes, dad, I’m fine,” you countered. 

“I’m gonna go get coffee, we both need it. The usual?” he asked, standing up before you could tell him he didn’t have to get it for you. 

You knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you opted for a simple nod. Just a few moments later, a young boy who was with a man that you assumed was his father tentatively walked up to you. 

“Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you, but was that Matthew Tkachuk?” the man inquired. 

You smiled at them both, remembering that Matthew wasn’t exactly nobody in this city. “Yeah, it is.” The boy’s face lit up at your words, clearly a huge Flames fan. 

“You guys can wait with me, he should be back any minute now and I’m sure he’d love to say hi,” you encouraged. No matter how well known Matthew had become, he always made the time to stop for kids. 

The pair sat down across from your seat, patiently waiting for the hockey player’s return. It wasn’t long until you saw him walking back towards you, two coffees in hand. When he saw the people with you he had a quizzical look on his face, but you gave him a gentle nod to let him know it was okay. Once he got closer, he realized just what was happening. 

“Hi there,” he smiled, “I’m Matthew.” He paused to hand you your coffee before shaking hands with the man and sinking down to his knees to fist bump the boy. 

They settled into an easy conversation, the boy finally warming up after the shock of meeting one of his idols. Matthew was unbelievably good with kids, and no matter how many times you saw it, he still made your heart flutter each time. It came so naturally to him, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to how incredible of a father he was going to be someday. After you took some pictures and Matthew signed a few autographs, the pair went back to their own baggage carousel. 

He settled back into his chair next to yours, sighing as he ran his hands through his brown curls. 

“That was really nice of you, Matthew,” 

“It’s nothing. I used to be that kid,” he said, trying to brush it off. 

“I’m serious, you didn’t have to do that. You’re a great person when you want to be,” you teased. 

“Yeah? And how’s that coffee I just went to get you?” he chirped right back, bumping his shoulder into yours with a grin across his face. 

-----

After Matthew stubbornly refused to let you carry your own bags out, you two were finally sitting in the back of an Uber on the way to his apartment. It was nearly dusk and the city was lit up with the beautiful, golden light of the approaching sunset. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” you heard from beside you, Matthew’s voice snapping you out of your daze. 

“Yeah it is,” you smiled, meeting his gaze to find him already looking at you. 

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at his building, Matthew stopping at the front desk to introduce you to the concierge. It was the first of what you assumed to be many times someone would be confused by your situation, and you knew you would soon get used to saying, “Oh no, we’re not- we’re just friends.”

After heading up the elevator and walking down the hall, Matthew unlocked his door, letting you walk in first as he followed. 

“Wow, not bad,” you mumbled, taking in the interior. It was the definition of a bachelor’s pad, the dark, sleek design a clear reflection of his lifestyle. 

“I just moved in at the end of last season so it’s missing some things, but yeah, it’s not bad,” he laughed. 

You walked over to the floor length windows taking in the view of the lit up city around you. You crossed your arms over your chest, the fact that you were really here was definitely settling in. But something about it just felt right, like you belonged here. Matthew’s body slid next to yours, joining you to admire his home after so long away. 

“I’ll show you around tomorrow and we can get dinner or something with the guys that are back already,” he spoke, pulling you into his side with his arm. Your head fell to rest on his shoulder. “I really want this to feel like home for you,” he said softly. 

You slipped your arms around his torso reciprocating his embrace, “Thank you, Matty.”

“Let me show you your room,” he spoke as he grabbed your hand to guide you into the rest of the apartment. 

You and Matthew spent the night unpacking and settling in. He ordered food, making sure to give you the rundown on all his favorite spots, before putting on a movie. After eating more than either of you should have, you found yourself cuddled into his side on the couch, a fuzzy blanket covering your bodies and his frame vibrating beneath you each time he laughed at the screen. You don’t remember when, but at some point you drifted off on his chest, only to be woken up to him carrying you to bed. 

Yeah, you could get used to this. 

[katnissmellarkkk]

Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[seyaryminamoto]

Matching Heartbeats: Sokkla Saturdays 2020

Day 7: Loyalty

On FF.net//On AO3

A/N: So very sorry for the late entry. I've been having some really serious computer problems lately, I was lucky I finished writing the chapter BEFORE tragedy struck, but it still took me a while to go over the whole thing so it'd be ready to be posted. It's been quite the ordeal of a weekend, ngl.

I'll leave more notes at the end. This is definitely the darkest of my entries so far, so even if there's concepts you dislike... try to bear with me :'D

He knew it. He knew from the start that frozen kid was going to be trouble, but who listens to Sokka? No one ever listens to Sokka. Even the tribe's children never listen to Sokka.

He couldn't stop scowling as he fit his warrior's outfit into place. He didn't have any armor, he was meant to craft his own with his father once he returned from the war… if he returned from the war. The very thought of never seeing him again, just as he'd never see his mother again, made him wish the likely, upcoming fight, would take him away just as well.

But no. He wasn't that weak, he wasn't that stupid: he was here to defend his people. That was what his father had tasked him with, and the women and children from the tribe would be safe with him. He hoped. As long as that damn flare hadn't been glimpsed by anyone Fire Nation, then perhaps they would be. Yet with the damn light beam that burst from the iceberg, just before that airbender tumbled out of it, right into his sister's arms, he couldn't take for granted that the Fire Nation wouldn't have noticed anything. In all likelihood, they'd come… and they might try to wipe out the village altogether. And he had no choice but to fight, even if he failed to stand against them.

He had practiced the traditional warriors' face-paint countless times in the past, with his father's supervision. He had continued doing so even after his father was gone, wondering if he'd ever wear it for a battle… he no longer wondered today. Without even glancing at his reflection in the basin of the hut he was preparing at, Sokka stepped out into the open as Katara and Kanna helped lead the women and children to safety.

It happened after he climbed his watch tower: a loud, machinery sound in the distance. He felt chills rushing down the nape of his neck and scowled: this couldn't be good. They were here. That shape he could see, hidden within the mist, had to belong to a Fire Nation ship.

And he was right, naturally: a massive, metal ship slowly traversed the icy waters, and Sokka clutched his weapons nervously as he watched it looming closer…

And then it stopped, right upon reaching the shore, cracking the ice lightly, as Sokka could see from where he stood at his watch tower. He swallowed hard and raised his gaze at the monumental ship… and then the ramp at its front was lowered with a loud, mechanical hiss. Sokka's whole body trembled as he waited, knowing the enemy would rush them in no time…

Footsteps upon the metal. Loud ones, multiple ones. Sokka frowned as a group of soldiers appeared at the top of the ramp, and he scanned them carefully: it wasn't his first time seeing Fire Nation soldiers in the flesh, but it had been a long time since he had last crossed paths with any of them. And while his anxiety was ramping up because of it, he still could pay enough attention to notice that they were flanking two people who weren't sporting a full soldiers' uniform.

"What is…?" he whispered, narrowing his eyes at the sight of them…

An old man, and a young woman. Both were shorter than the uniformed soldiers, and they were studying their surroundings carefully, it seemed. They walked side by side until they reached the end of the ramp… and then the soldiers lingered back, close to the ship, while the two people who wore lighter armor approached the Tribe's enclosure.

"Ah, but this is quite the freezing environment, isn't it?" the old man said, smiling carelessly at his companion. She scoffed.

"What else could you have expected in the South Pole, Uncle, really?" she said.

The area was silent enough for Sokka to understand their words perfectly. He frowned as he gazed at them, wondering if he should speak up… and just then, the young woman's eyes took to studying his watch tower… to studying him.

He felt the air leaving his lungs, and wondered if perhaps that girl was an airbender like Aang, to make him effectively breathless that way. Or maybe he was just too nervous, too anxious, and terrified of the possible consequences that would come from this encounter with likely firebenders…?

"You, up there," the young woman called to him. Sokka froze. "We come in peace. Find your leader, so we may speak with whoever they are."

"Peace?" Sokka repeated quietly, before raising his voice. "You've just barged into enemy territory on a ship like that, and you expect me to believe you're here to make friends?"

"Well, what else could I be here for?" she replied, with a sarcastic grin. Sokka's stomach sank. "Do tell. Are you hiding anything in your funny huts that I might make use of?"

"Like hell we are! Go back to your rotten nation and leave us be!" Sokka rebuffed, raising his boomerang in an intimidating gesture that he knew would fail.

"We can't quite do that," she said, simply. "Find your leader, I said. We don't have much time."

"Find our leader?" Sokka repeated. "Well, as things stand right now? You're speaking to him! I'm the Tribe's leader!"

"You… no way," she snorted, smiling as she placed her hands on her hips. "The Southern Water Tribe has only one teenager manning their defenses, and he's the tribe leader, too?"

"Maybe we're in the wrong place," the old man suggested, stroking his beard.

"It's possible," his niece replied, still staring at Sokka pointedly. "But it's the closest settlement to the flare, isn't it? And we did see the Avatar skipping about in the ice earlier…"

"I can only hope I'm that flexible and nimble when I'm that age," the man laughed. His niece scoffed.

"You can't even finish climbing the tower's stairs without your knees aching, Uncle…"

"I can work out and regain my good shape, Princess Azula, no need to shame me for not exercising often these days…"

Sokka's eyes widened upon overhearing those words: Princess Azula, he'd said? And they were talking about… the Avatar? Did they believe Aang was the Avatar? If so… then he definitely needed protecting, rather than banishing. Curses, why did everything have to be so complicated…?

"Y-you… you're the Fire Nation Princess?" Sokka asked. She frowned but glared at him, no longer distracted by her uncle.

"Something like that," she said. "Feel more willing to help us track down your Avatar now? Or will this pointless back and forth continue until we freeze to death standing out here?"

Sokka snarled, uneasy. If Aang was the Avatar, he couldn't hand him over to the Fire Nation, not even if they allegedly had come in peace. How could he ever trust a claim like that? Fire Nation people were ambitious, and surely deeply treacherous… these two couldn't be any different. Even from up here, Sokka could tell they were intelligent… they were likely strategists, hoping to trick them somehow. And whatever game they thought they'd play at the expenses of his people, he refused to go along with it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, so get out and find your Avatar someplace else. We don't have any Avatars here," Sokka declared. The Princess below scoffed.

"Really, now? So that skipping airbender we saw wasn't the Avatar? You're harboring other air nomads here, then? Fine, they'll be useful at tracking down the real thing anyway…"

"There's no one here! No airbender!" Sokka shouted. "There's only women and children inside these walls, and you won't find any Avatars or airbenders or…!"

A sudden, whooshing sound caused the Princess and the uncle to turn sharply to their right: something was rushing their way through the snow. The Princess took up a defensive firebending form immediately, but her uncle spread an arm before her as the shape came closer…

"A child?" the Princess said so softly Sokka nearly failed to hear her: he turned towards the noise as well only to feel his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach.

Aang was back, surely hoping to help the tribe. Oh, curse that boy and his good heart, why would he choose to return just now?!

"Aang! Go back! Get out!" Sokka shouted, but the young airbender's penguin simply continued to rush towards the two Fire Nation Royals.

Both Azula and her uncle had to leap out of the way so the penguin could continue onwards: the airbender, however, leapt off the creature's back and stood between them and the tribe, holding his staff while gazing at them steadily.

"You're the airbender? The Avatar? A… child?" Azula said, blinking blankly.

"Well, you're just a teenager," Aang said, simply, though he wasn't sure his response warranted as loud a bout of laughter from the old man beside the Princess. "Uh… what's so funny?"

"Ah, it's such a relief! He is a child! See, Princess, no amount of exercise will ever be enough for me to jump around the way he did, ahaha…!"

"Stop giving excuses not to stay fit, Uncle!" Azula hissed. "We're in no position to afford laziness, or sloppiness, and you're indulging in both by neglecting your health and training!"

"Uh… what's going on?" Aang said, blinking blankly before glancing up at Sokka on his tower.

"I know just about as much as you do, buddy," Sokka said, grimacing. "Though… sorry for kicking you out. And thanks for coming back."

"My banishment is lifted?" Aang asked, smiling weakly. Sokka shrugged and hung his head.

"Guess so. Though this isn't over," Sokka said, frowning as he picked up his spear. "You two… last chance. Go back to your ship, and the airbender there won't hurt you."

"Ah, nonsense. Airbenders won't hurt anyone unless it's self-defense," the old man declared proudly. The Princess breathed out and glanced at the young boy before her.

"We're not here to hand you over to Fire Nation authorities, Avatar," she said. Both Aang and Sokka frowned. "If you truly are who we believe you are… then we'll be the very best allies you'll find if you have any hopes to bring back balance to the world."

"You… what?" Aang said.

Sokka frowned heavily and jumped, slipping down his tower and landing right next to Aang – by the tribe's front gates, Katara lurked, gazing out at the debate between the two Fire Nation visitors, her brother and her friend: where both Sokka and Aang were reluctant, dubious, the old man couldn't seem to stop smiling in a disarming manner… while his niece offered them a steeled glare, sharper than a blade, more unyielding than the sturdiest of metals:

"We need you to help us defeat the Fire Lady."

Where the villagers no doubt had expected a confrontation, they had found, instead, a diplomatic visit, of sorts. The soldiers had stayed aboard the ship, leaving the two royals to deal with the discussions and to convince the skeptical teenagers and the young Avatar to join their cause: it wouldn't be easy, but Azula was certain it could be done.

"I'm pretty confused as it is, but I guess I'll hear you out," the Avatar decided, smiling as they sat at the central fireplace of the village: Azula and Iroh sat with them, while the rest of the villagers – just as the warrior had claimed, women and children – watched from a safe distance. Acceptable, understandable caution, all things considered.

"What's this about a Fire Lady?" the warrior asked, frowning as he stared at Azula. "Last I knew, it was a Fire Lord who was throwing the world out of balance. When did that change?"

"To be precise? Five years ago," Azula said, simply. The warrior appeared perplexed, but curious enough to continue listening anyway.

"Our dad left about four years ago…" the teenage girl said, glancing at him with unease. "I guess we haven't heard from anything in the outside world since then… and even before that, news didn't spread much either."

"Naturally. You're in the South Pole, and with the war's politics being what they are…" Iroh said, shaking his head "Everyone has taken to isolating, instead of thinking clearly: a coalition between Earth Kingdom, Water Tribe and Fire Nation rebel forces would more than suffice to topple my sister-in-law's regime."

"Your sister-in-law?" the warrior repeated.

"My mother," Azula said, curtly. The words seemed to send a powerful ripple of confused understanding through all her three new acquaintances.

"Y-your mom…?" said the Avatar.

"She is the Fire Lady. Has been, since Fire Lord Azulon died mysteriously on the night he demanded for my brother to be killed to punish my father's transgressions," Azula explained, gritting her teeth. Sharing such memories with strangers wasn't easy, despite she had grown used to discussing them in recent times. "My father was crowned on the next day. He was dead too, within the week."

"Wait… your mom killed them?" asked the warrior, aghast. "Y-you're saying…"

"I'm saying she's leading the Fire Nation as we speak. Has been, for the past six years," Azula said, staring at the young man intently. "She has avoided every political reprieve sent her way, hell knows how, and ensured to stay on the throne under the guise of being my brother's regent: he will come of age within a few months, and once he does, he'll be Fire Lord in her stead. One step out of line, however, and…"

"You keep saying that, Azula, but I doubt Ursa would kill Zuko…" said Iroh. Azula scoffed.

"I'm her daughter. She banished me. I know she prefers him over me, but that hardly makes her an innocent person, let alone is she incapable of protecting her own interests to the point of sacrificing her own family," Azula snarled.

"Why did your mother banish you?" the warrior's sister asked. "That's awful!"

"She found a petty excuse, started an argument I didn't back down from. Demanded that I should be taught respect and tasked me with tracking down the Avatar and handing him over to her to prove my loyalty and worth to my nation," Azula explained, rolling her eyes. "I have no intentions of doing such a thing, if you expected otherwise: I don't trust that woman. Even calling her my mother revolts me. That she killed my father is…"

"Now, now, Azula…" Iroh said, patting his niece's back. She flinched away from his touch, but attempted to focus again.

"She sent my uncle Iroh with me, because he's yet another threat to her ill-gotten throne," Azula declared. "The two of us were investigating, looking into both my father and grandfather's deaths, if independently… and she knew it was only a matter of time before we unearthed solid evidence of foul play. Granted, the situation is as fishy as can be, as things stand, but…"

"But she has managed to play everything off as a coincidence so far," said Iroh, grimacing. "I wasn't in the Fire Nation when she took the throne… by the time I arrived, she was much too comfortable on her seat. I couldn't do anything but offer my assistance to Azula, and hope to guide Zuko away from her, but…"

"But you'd never succeed at that," Azula said, bitterly. "My brother is the only one who's better off with this arrangement. I don't think I ever saw him quite so happy."

"I guess he's the favorite kid?" Sokka asked. Azula scoffed.

"Hers? Yes. Iroh's, too. He's stuck with me because he has no choice."

"Oi! I do appreciate you, Azula! We've been scheming together for three years now!"

"That's no evidence to contradict my claim," Azula said, dismissively. Iroh's outrage amused the Avatar and his female friend slightly, though the warrior only continued to watch the Princess pointedly. "My father did favor me, and he wasn't kind to my brother. Neither was my grandfather, who outright asked for him to be executed, so…"

"What a messed-up family," sighed the warrior, shaking his head. "So you two don't like each other but are stuck together, your mom is in the Fire Nation grooming your brother into being her perfect brainwashed tool, and your dad is dead, and your grandpa is dead too because he wanted to have your brother killed? Is that how it is?"

"Uh… yeah. More or less," Azula said. He sighed.

"And what exactly do you expect to accomplish next?" he asked. "You want Aang to help you take down your mom? You're on some quest for revenge or something?"

"You could say that, yes," Azula said. He scoffed.

"And how do I know you're not simply going to hand him over to Fire Nation authorities, so your banishment gets revoked and you're free to live your life as you wish?"

"You'd know it if you'd known me for longer than you have," Azula replied, with a dry grin. "I'm no fool: I don't long for my mother's approval, I want her held accountable for her crimes. Even if I went home, and she pretended to love me and accept me because I brought her the Avatar, it would amount to nothing more than a pretense. Within another two years she'd find another excuse to get rid of me, and where would I find anyone else to help me depose her then?"

"But the problem is your mom, right? Not your brother," said the Avatar, tapping his chin. "So if he becomes Fire Lord… wouldn't we have to fight him instead?"

"You don't truly believe that my mother, after all her scheming, would set down her crown and throne and leave my brother to rule without her 'guidance', do you?" Azula asked, skeptical. "She'll control him, without his awareness. A puppeteer, you could say, ensuring the Fire Lord doesn't go astray, meaning, she intends to retain his loyal to her at all costs. My brother isn't the problem, it's her."

"And how do you plan on defeating her, without causing him any trouble?" the warrior asked. "I feel like if we help you guys, and you're not tricking us at all, we'll end up going from one problem to the next: take out the Fire Lady, and her son will follow on her footsteps and set the whole world on fire. Right?"

"That's exactly why our intent isn't as violent as you may think," Iroh said, with a weak grin. "I assumed the Avatar would be old… perhaps too old to be of use. But he's young! And, I'm sure, inexperienced with all four elements. Right?"

"Uh… I'm afraid so," the Avatar admitted, with a lukewarm grin.

"Then the course is clear! He must learn all the elements before becoming the protector of harmony in our world," Iroh grinned. "Though… I don't know if you can learn waterbending here. Last I knew, Fire Lord Azulon had…"

"Attacked our tribes, countless times?" asked the warrior, scowling.

"I'm the last waterbender left in the South Pole," the sister announced, sadly. Azula grimaced.

"Then… ugh. It means he'd have to learn up north instead," said Azula, glancing at Iroh… to find him grinning madly, of course. "Well, then. Out with it. You have an idea, don't you?"

"A lot of them, actually," he giggled. "Pakku is in the North! And Bumi in the Earth Kingdom. I can be the firebending teacher, and…"

"Bumi?!" exclaimed the Avatar, his eyes wide. "Y-you know Bumi? Wait, how do you know Bumi? Is Bumi still alive?! I thought I'd been frozen for a hundred years!"

"Uh… huh. That explains your youth, at least," said Iroh. Azula grimaced, resolving to explain more about that particular matter later. "And… yes. I believe King Bumi is well past his hundred years. If you know him… then all the better! I can see to it that you train and develop your skills as the Avatar little by little, young man. What do you say?"

"Well, I say we have to think about it," the warrior declared, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not to look a gift ostrich horse in the beak, but…"

"Can I come too?!"

"K-Katara?!"

Despite the Avatar appeared nervous, it seemed he would agree to their proposal, and the waterbender was absolutely stoked about joining them, too: the warrior was the only one with obvious doubts, and while Azula held his accusatory, distrustful gaze with relentless defiance, Iroh only laughed and clapped cheerfully.

"It seems we have quite the journey ahead of us!" he declared, deliberately ignoring the warrior's obvious displeasure, focusing only on the far more cheerful and agreeable response of the waterbender.

Azula guessed the warrior boy might be trouble, and yet she couldn't blame him for it in the least: the readiness of the other two to trust them was surprisingly agreeable and yet proof of how innocent and gullible they were. They were rather fortunate that they had no ill-intentions indeed, Azula reasoned, after she returned to her ship that day: the soldiers welcomed her, ever ready to obey her every command. The highly questionable Fire Lady, in whose veins did not flow any royal blood, had failed to charm every soldier to her favor. Where she had hoped, no doubt, to get rid of her most dangerous opponents by tossing them in the sea with the least reliable soldiers in her army, her decision had been double-edged: Azula and Iroh had joined forces, and within less than a few months, the entire ship answered to them, and only to them. It was one starting point of rebellion, one Azula hoped they'd be able to expand further… but only after they gained enough political relevance and power to challenge her mother's rule, and her brother's, if it came to that. The Avatar was the key to achieving that goal.

Noise by the ramp surprised Azula as she paced on deck. She stepped close to the ship's railing to find the warrior boy, naturally, had approached the ship. What did he want? Shouldn't he be packing, or resting, before setting out on their long voyage?

Despite her better sense told her otherwise, Azula made her way down to the ramp indeed, finding the soldiers had been reluctant to let him through. The warrior pouted rather childishly, and she sighed as she stepped between the soldiers and himself, startling him when he failed to notice her presence.

"Do you need something?" she asked, directly. His childish expression faded quickly.

"Just… wanted to talk," he said, raising his hands defensively. "I won't do anything bad, I promise."

"Hmm. You promise, then," Azula said, releasing a breath before ordering the soldiers to let him through.

The two made their way to the deck, a small walk Azula found no wonders in, considering she'd traversed the full extent of her ship countless times in the past. To the warrior beside her, however, it was likely the first Fire Nation battleship he had ever entered. His amazement was apparent… and yet he voiced no compliments, containing his amazement as best he could. And while he studied his future means of transportation, Azula studied him: he was perhaps slightly older than her, and yet burdened with a much more dangerous duty than he himself had likely ever realized. Where Azula would have been forced to stay in her brother's mediocre shadow, if her mother had her way, this young warrior was expected to protect his people at all costs…

"So… what do you need to talk about?" she asked him, as they came to a halt on the deck. He grimaced.

"Well… I'm just worried," he said, earnestly. "Look, I'm sorry for what your mom's done, and I really don't know how I'd react if anything like that had ever happened to me, but… are you against the Fire Nation? Or just against her?"

"You're wondering if I'll want to continue the war after she's defeated and replaced?" Azula asked. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"I just… don't know where your loyalties really lie. And I think I should, before we join you in this trip. I don't know if I can trust you."

"I never did ask you to trust me, did I?" she said, plainly, but he scoffed.

"Just by asking us to join forces with you, or rather, asking Aang… you're silently asking me to entrust the best hope this world has to you. Maybe you didn't say the words directly, but you're asking for trust anyway. And…"

"And you'd be a fool to give it to me blindly when we've only just met," Azula concluded. The warrior released a breath… perhaps relieved she understood his plight. "My father trusted my mother, no doubt: she took advantage of that trust to kill him. Do you really think I'd be so stupid as to ask for trust… or to give it?"

He froze in place, their eyes holding each other's gaze firmly. Both of them had been through their own set of struggles, she realized that… but if he had come here looking for a heartfelt speech about how good a person she was, he was out of luck. Azula had no intentions to…

He smiled.

She blinked twice, and then he sighed, hanging his head while setting his hands on his hips.

"You know what? I can live with that," he said. Azula raised her eyebrows, puzzled.

"With… not being trusted?" she asked. He nodded.

"The Avatar's dead-sure his bison thing can fly, you know?" he said. "If you or your creepy uncle do anything on this trip that we can't accept… well, I'll be grabbing my two dorks, climbing on that saddle and getting as far from you guys as possible. And as you're not going to ask for trust, or give it, that should be fine by you, right?"

"It is, actually," Azula said, simply. "While I'd rather have the Avatar on my side… it's not a necessity either, despite Iroh is certain of the opposite. We're loyal to our own causes and purposes, and there's no reason why it should be any different. This is an alliance of convenience, nothing more."

"Sounds right to me," he said, extending his hand towards her. "By the way… my name is Sokka. I heard your uncle calling your name before, so… figured it was a good idea to tell you mine."

"Sokka, then?" she repeated, before raising a hand to clasp his. "Very well. Let's… not trust each other."

"Perfect," Sokka grinned.

It was an odd arrangement… yet one that brought a smile to Azula's face just as well. She had the strange feeling she could grow used to the warrior's presence, despite everything…

Their long journey began on the next day, after the three new passengers climbed aboard the ship, once they said their farewells to their fellow tribespeople. The journey to the North Pole would be long, and Azula wondered if those three would be able to endure the trappings of the steel ship without complaint… strangely, the Avatar was the most restless of the group, often taking off on gliding trips unless they neared any Fire Nation watchtowers. The waterbender had been quite eager to manipulate the seawater they were coursing through… but just as expected, she wasn't skilled enough to bend anything impressive yet.

The warrior was the least restless one, Azula had thought… until he happened upon her training with Iroh on the ship's deck one day. The old man often told her to take her drills calmly, to focus on her basics… but she didn't have time to take it easy. Her blue fire needed to be strengthened further, that was all there was to it…

"The source of firebending… isn't aggression," Iroh had said to her, on one afternoon. Azula scoffed and glared.

"Really? And that's why the way to conjure fire is by hugging people, right?"

"You misunderstand," Iroh sighed. "But hopefully you'll see in time. Firebending is an art… it isn't merely a means to an end. You can channel your rage through it… but that won't make you any stronger than you would be if you fought calmly, in direct contact with your inner fire."

"That's too bad," Azula hissed back. Iroh shook his head and made to leave… only stopping on his tracks upon finding someone stood by the threshold of the tower, watching them.

Sokka flinched and stepped out of the way, offering Iroh a guilty grin before glancing at Azula. The exiled Princess scowled at first, but surely he didn't bear any nefarious intent in mind, going by that goofy smile across his face.

"That… that was pretty impressive," he said, biting his lip. "Your fire… it's pretty cool, you know? That it's blue… it's not like everyone else's, right?"

"Indeed," Azula replied, bluntly.

"It's a sign of strength, I figure? Or something?" Sokka continued. "Well, whatever it may be a sign of… you're pretty good with your fire. Which, well, isn't something I ever thought I'd say to a firebender, but times change…"

"I guess they do," Azula said, raising her eyebrows. "I suppose you're quite bored if you're watching my attempts to train…"

"Well… bored and a little curious," Sokka admitted, grinning awkwardly. "I thought I was ready to fight you before, but I guess I wasn't. I just… wanted to ask if it's okay if I train with you once in a while? You know, polish my skills…"

"Polish your skills?" Azula repeated, a hint of amusement crossing her face. "Why… I suppose that'd be fine, yes."

Sokka grinned brightly and rushed inside to collect his weapons when she told him to. By the time he returned, he was stretching and smirking proudly.

"Well, I sure hope you're ready, Princess. You haven't seen what I can do so far, so I think I have an advantage," he said, raising his club in her direction. Azula smirked too.

"Oh, the horror," she said, sarcastically. He flinched as she took up a stance. "Give me your best shot. You'll regret it if you don't."

And he did regret it, of course: as much as he tried, he couldn't seem to avoid the power of those blue flames. He dodged clumsily, attacked even more clumsily, but to Azula's amusement, he never asked for respite. He didn't beg for her to stop attacking. He was stubborn… and that was a good thing.

She defeated him on every round that day. He seemed discouraged for it, lying against the ship's railing while breathing heavily, his body overheated despite it was still rather cold. She approached him with a slightly more sympathetic smile than intended, taking her seat beside him.

"You're not very experienced in combat. That's all there is to it," she said. "Train with me some more, and you'll be able to withstand the strongest of firebenders without breaking a sweat."

"You sure?" Sokka asked, grimacing. "I thought I'd made a fool of myself…"

"Oh, you did, but it was a lot of fun. I can stand for a few more reasons to be amused," she said, grinning at him. He snorted and laughed, shaking his head.

"Great. I'm a laughingstock for the Princess. Just what I hoped for," he said, dropping his head against the railing.

"And what else were you hoping for?" she asked.

"Uh… respect of equals?" he said. She snorted and laughed outright, surprising him. "What? You don't have to laugh that hard…"

"You and I aren't equals, Sokka. On any level," she said, smiling at him. "Not yet, anyway. More training is required, without a doubt, if that's what you're looking for."

"Then I'll oblige," he said, smirking too. "You think I'll back away from a challenge just because you're pretty… uh, pretty intimidating?"

"Ah. I'm pretty?" she said. He grimaced and blushed.

"That's not what I said! I was just… looking for the right word!"

"Sure you were: pretty. That was it," Azula smiled. He groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"Is this a thing girls do?" he asked, flustered. "Turning a guy's words against him mercilessly just because they feel like it?"

"I have no idea. Bu it's certainly something I do," she said, grinning at him.

She hadn't had much of a chance to try her luck with boys so far – she had been banished three years ago, and too busy trying to harvest evidence to prove her mother was up to no good on the years before that to look for any suitable matches. But if she wasn't misreading the situation… this warrior might actually harbor more than a wish for mutual respect for her. She wouldn't mind it much, if he did. He was easy on the eyes himself, there was no denying that…

"Guess I'll have to get used to it, then?" he said, smiling back at her. "Or… maybe I could, uh, try my luck at it too? You know, if you ever say I'm handsome…!"

"I'd never say that," Azula declared, proudly. Sokka scoffed.

"You could say 'hand', and right after, 'some', and then I could misinterpret it just as you did right now…" he said. Azula laughed.

"How so?" she smiled. "'Get your hand some ice, because I burned it so badly'?"

"See? There you go. You think I'm handsome too," Sokka declared. Azula laughed again, dropping her head against the railing as he smiled at her. "Alright, jokes aside… you have a nice smile, you know?"

"I'm not taking any of it as a joke, mind you," Azula declared. "But, truthfully I… haven't had much of a reason to smile for the past six years."

"Yeah… I can tell," Sokka whispered. "And I don't blame you. Though… at first I figured you got along better with Iroh than you do. You two seemed to be on the same page when you were at the tribe's doorstep… guess I just jumped to conclusions, huh?"

"I did say Zuko was his favorite, didn't I?" Azula said, her smile waning. "Truthfully… my mother assumed we would never be able to work together. That's why she exiled us this way, and she would have been correct in her assessment… if only Iroh and I weren't slightly sharper than she hoped we'd be. Even if we can't stand each other's guts, the bigger picture is the priority. Whatever happens after we've dealt with my mother, Iroh and I will work together until she's defeated. That's simply how it is."

"Your family really feels… awful," said Sokka, grimacing. "Not just that your mother's the worst person in the planet right now, apparently… but you can't even rely on your uncle even if you've been traveling with him for three years? I… can't imagine how difficult it must be to live this way."

"Your people have a rather different culture from mine," Azula said, simply. "Family… matters more to you. Far more than it matters to us, apparently."

"You're trying to do right by yours, though. In your own way," Sokka said.

"Am I?" Azula said. "You weren't wrong to say this is a quest of revenge. I don't even know how far it will take me, and even if it's my father I hope to avenge, I'll…"

"You'll fight and maybe even kill your own family?" Sokka asked, frowning. Azula shrugged.

"Is there any other choice?" she asked. "My mother isn't a firebender, but she will have all the strongest soldiers of our nation defending her. She will gain all the advantages she can obtain, anything to stay on the throne, or close enough to it, once my brother takes office. How can I pretend I'll defeat her through anything less than that?"

"She's still your mother," said Sokka, eyeing her with uncertainty.

"He was her husband. I am her daughter. Didn't stop her," Azula said, closing her eyes.

Sokka swallowed hard but conceded once he fell silent. Perhaps he knew there were some things in life you couldn't fix just by talking them out… perhaps he knew there were some people no one could fix with just a heartfelt conversation. If so, she certainly had been rather lucky to have it with him, rather than anyone who might have been more forceful about making her abide by their ideals…

"Will you… train with me again tomorrow?" Azula asked, softly. He blinked blankly but glanced at her with a weak grin.

"If you'll have me, sure thing," he said, grinning. Azula smiled and nodded.

They continued to train hard across the next weeks of their long journey: the weather changed as they progressed north, prompting Sokka to occasionally train with sleeveless shirts and, on one fatefully hot day, outright shirtless. It was outrageous… and yet she had been so distracted he had nearly beaten her for the first time on the day he had first done so. Utterly embarrassing.

She spent more time with him than she ever meant to, than she did with most everyone else. Iroh had taken to spending more time with the Avatar, and he offered the waterbender frequent advice, but the warrior… he seemed to be drawn to her. To find more common ground with her, to feel safer with her than with the soldiers, or her uncle… and it was strange. It felt right, even if her mind said it was wrong. For she was growing used to him… and she didn't think that was wise. She was supposed to stand strong, to need nothing, no one… and she certainly didn't need this boy. But… did he need her? Sometimes, when he gazed at her with those clear blue eyes after their sparring was done, she wondered if he did. And she also wondered what that would mean for her, if that was the case.

The Northern Water Tribe was magnificent, yet a dreadful mirror that reflected how miserable and downtrodden his own tribe was, back home. Sokka had been amazed by it until that reality had dawned on him… he gazed at Azula, finding she seemed utterly unconcerned with the regal glory of the location, focusing instead on preserving her body heat as best she could. She was used to this opulence… if anything, she probably felt at home with it. It suited her, Sokka thought, to a fault… what if she dressed up in a Water Tribe parka? Then it could match her blue fire, why not…?

He shook his head quickly as they were ferried into the depths of the tribe on a canoe that Iroh had somehow arranged for them. He'd been having strange thoughts about Azula for a while now, thoughts he was sure he shouldn't have. She was so driven, so determined, so set on her goals… becoming her sparring partner had been a good idea, both for her and himself, as even though he had never defeated her, his combat abilities had increased greatly with her as his opponent, or at least, he thought they had. He had more stamina and he had learned many things regarding how to read a bender's next movements. Seeing as she was a firebender, he expected that what he'd learned would come in handy in the future.

But that was it, wasn't it? He'd said it himself: he didn't trust her, and neither did she trust him. As far as he could tell, she didn't trust anyone, not even her uncle… and considering what she'd been through, he didn't blame her for that. Yet the more he sympathized with her, the less he distrusted her… was that healthy? Was it a good idea to like her better than he should have…? With every glance he stole in her direction, he knew in his mind it wasn't, but in his heart…

They were welcomed with pomp and splendor, and Sokka felt more and more out of place with each passing moment. He wasn't sure why he felt so inadequate, or why he felt the need to stand beside Azula throughout the whole matter… perhaps he feared this was some sort of trap, too. That the northerners would consider them traitors, and would capture Aang, Azula and Iroh and send them giftwrapped to the Fire Lady… even the welcoming smiles of the local Princess, who seemed to get along fairly well with Katara as they sat together during the welcoming feast, didn't reassure him at all. And the balding, bitter man Iroh had proposed as Aang's new waterbending teacher didn't help matters much either.

Maybe he was simply used to expecting the worst from people, at this point: on the next day, Master Pakku accepted Aang as his student gladly, and rejected Katara, outright, for he refused to teach women how to fight. Sokka had spent most that day waiting for Azula to finish her meetings with Iroh and the tribe's leaders when Katara stormed in, revealing her outrageous struggle to him.

"He's a jerk! Why wouldn't I be allowed to fight just because I'm a girl?" Katara exclaimed. "He wants me to learn healing? I've never healed anyone with bending! I know other techniques to do that, but not with bending! What if I can't heal someone, and I waste all my valuable time here learning something I can't even do?!"

"Uh… I don't know?" said Sokka, grimacing: the door swung open then, and Katara glanced at Azula and Aang, who had arrived at the same time.

"You okay, Katara…?" Aang asked. Katara huffed.

"Of course I'm not! That Master Pakku is the worst!" she exclaimed.

"Why's that?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. "I suppose I shouldn't take for granted that any of my uncle's associates are worthwhile, but… I had hoped he wasn't completely worthless."

"Well, he thinks I can't learn waterbending combat because I'm a girl," said Katara. Sokka grimaced, glancing at Azula with uncertainty, wondering what her reaction would be…

"Wow. And here I assumed these people were civilized," Azula said, with a sarcastic grin. Katara grinned brightly at the obvious, expected support from a successful, powerful female warrior. "So much opulence and fancy halls, and yet they're the most backwards nation I've seen, if this is how it is."

"Well, it's not like we were much better off down south…" Katara admitted, shooting a glare at Sokka. "Someone had a thing for telling me I should stay back and let him handle all the fighting, or, how was it? 'Leave it to a girl to mess everything up'?"

"Hey! Not like I was wrong, was I? You kept soaking my clothes!" Sokka pouted.

"Not the point! Me being a girl has nothing to do with whatever I can do with my bending!" Katara declared. "And that stupid, uptight, stick-in-the-mud Master Pakku…"

"You… seriously said that kind of stuff?"

Sokka froze in place: it felt like his heart had stopped upon hearing Azula speak with such stark disapproval to him. He grimaced under her skeptical stare: just what he needed, the girl he liked would think he was a…

The girl he liked? That thought alone jumpstarted his heart again immediately.

"It's not… it's not really like that?" Sokka smiled awkwardly. "I mean, big brothers always mess with their sisters, right?"

"Right," said Azula, dryly. Sokka grimaced: she didn't believe him. Oh, hell, she didn't believe him. She turned towards Katara again, though, with a proud grin. "Well, then… I guess you need a solution for your dilemma. And I think I need a new sparring partner too, so…"

"W-what?! Hey! That's not…!"

"What do you say we give that Master Pakku a rather alarming surprise?" Azula suggested, smirking at Katara. Sokka could swear he had never seen his sister's eyes glisten so brightly.

"I have no idea what you have in mind… but the answer is yes. Absolutely, yes," Katara said, beaming.

Master Pakku would obviously expect that the stubborn waterbender would rebel against him. Thus, Azula recruited even Aang for her plan: the Avatar was perplexed over his role, but apparently, walking at night across several ice streets, on his way to a supposed hiding place, was as good a plan as any.

Sokka, of course, was barred from joining the plan. Azula wasn't sure why she was so outraged, she wasn't completely surprised that women would be dismissed as irrelevant in combat by certain cultures… but perhaps it had something to do with the suspicion that he wouldn't have held back against her, not even on their first encounter. He had sparred with her constantly, failing to defeat her… and not once had he voiced any dismissing words or thoughts like those Katara had credited to him. Maybe it was true, and he was merely an annoying older brother… or maybe it wasn't true, and he simply didn't see Azula as a woman.

And why, oh, why did that thought bother her so damn much?

She was being an idiot, she knew, but she had no time to think about that. Instead, she encouraged Katara to step closer to the nearest stream, and the waterbender did as much, most willingly.

"Now, then… follow my lead. Only, bring water with you, and perform the movements with me," Azula decided. Katara nodded.

"Then… I'll learn fire-waterbending?" she smiled. Azula shrugged.

"Seems like it. Now, then, pay attention to the sequence of my movements… every last one of them."

Azula shifted from kata to kata, conjuring firebending with her renowned expertise. Katara swallowed hard as the short sequence was finished, and she sought to repeat it, carrying water with her: the result wasn't particularly impressive, and yet the water had obeyed her more than when they had been on the ship. Katara grinned brightly at her, and Azula smirked.

"Let's keep going, then," she said. "I have the feeling you'll learn a lot of fire-waterbending for sure."

"Thank you for this, really," Katara laughed. "I know it's not the traditional way, but… who cares, right? If the traditional waterbending styles are meant to be for men, I'd rather find my own way to bend instead."

"Sounds about right," Azula smirked. "Alright, next sequence…"

"Oh, hey, guys!" Aang's voice came from the ceiling of a building: he airbent himself down to the river and smiled peacefully, despite he was, quite apparently, nervous. "Want some help? I can give you a few tips, Katara…"

"No need for that, Avatar," Azula said, raising her voice unnecessarily. "Outdated bending will never defeat the Fire Nation. I'll teach her a far better combat method, so much better you'll be begging her to teach you, rather than the other way around, once I'm through with her…"

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Azula turned, staring at the elderly waterbending master with nonchalance as he stood at a bridge, overlooking their alleged hideout. Katara tensed up, and Aang fell off his air scooter, grimacing at Pakku's obvious loss of temper.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Azula said, simply. "I'll teach her combat waterbending. Why? You'd rather to do it yourself?"

"What a childish claim… your culture is different from ours, Princess Azula!" Pakku declared. "Don't expect to impose your values here!"

"Oh, but I want her to teach me. I asked you, you said no, she offered, and I'm taking her up on that offer," Katara said, simply. "And hey! You have no power to stop her!"

"Unless you have anything else to add, feel free to walk away," Azula said, waving a hand dismissively at Pakku. "Katara has to learn to defend herself as best she can, after all. We may eventually be caught in a path of violence, and she refuses to be dead weight for the rest of us. Who knows? She might even end up saving the Avatar's life…"

"Don't ridicule me! That sort of notion could never…!"

"You know? Maybe this is why they're still winning."

Sokka's voice startled everyone, breaking across the near-scripted encounter with complete naturality: he had sneaked up on Pakku, and he stood beside him, glancing between his friends and the waterbending master, who turned towards him in confused outrage.

"You saw her, didn't you? She's a powerhouse," Sokka said, smiling at Azula. "A girl that strong… she might be the greatest firebender in the world, don't you think? She can even bend blue fire! When had you ever heard of something like that? And you know what? Maybe some of the girls you've refused to teach could have been as strong as Princess Azula was. Then… maybe the Fire Nation could've been stopped before the war escalated this much. Meanwhile, the Fire Nation is perfectly willing to train their girls, and Azula is an example: if she weren't a rebel, she'd be fighting against us, and I can tell you, that would suck big time. She's the strongest girl I've ever met… and I have no doubts she'd kick my ass, and yours, and everyone else's, if given a chance. Maybe… maybe you should give my sister a chance, too. If a girl's power can be the driving force to end this war… why not support her? Why not teach her? Why not break old traditions that don't make any sense?"

Pakku scowled, but confusion crossed his eyes. For a long moment, Sokka stood there, holding the man's gaze… only for Pakku to storm off without another word. Sokka grimaced and sighed, glancing at Katara apologetically after Pakku's footsteps were undoubtedly gone.

"Sorry, I… hoped I could help," he said. "Guess I messed it up."

"You didn't…!" Katara gasped, smiling brightly at Sokka. "You… you really think all that, Sokka? Or are you just trying to impress Azula, now…?"

"W-wha…?! Hey! Of course I think so! All I just said is true!" Sokka exclaimed, blushing as both Katara and Aang laughed.

"Well… even if he won't teach you, you can learn with me and Azula!" Aang said, beaming at Katara as the two of them started on their way back to their given rooms, across the bridge Sokka stood at. "Teaching waterbending with firebending… it sounds fun, right?"

"It was! I don't know how effective it'll be, but it was!" Katara grinned, and she continued to chat animatedly with Aang as they walked back to their quarters.

Sokka stayed behind, waiting for Azula to reach the bridge too. She released a breath as she stepped towards him, stopping at arm's length.

"All you said was true, for sure," she said. "Whether you truly believe it or not, it is. That the driving force in the war right now is a female non-bender ought to speak lengths about how no one should be underestimating women. It's the entire reason my mother got away with everything she did until now…"

"True… and I won't lie to you, okay? I think you've had people lying a lot to you throughout your life. I don't want to be like them," Sokka whispered. "I did think, back before I knew you, that women had some very specific duties… and men had other duties, too. That's how I was raised, and I did say a lot of stupid things to Katara because of it. I mean… it doesn't mean I'm a monster, I hope, but… I know now it was wrong. After all I've trained with you, and all the time I've spent with you, now I'm… I'm able to look back and know I messed up. I shouldn't have said the things I did to Katara, not even if I was just trying to be an annoying older brother…"

"If you truly know that… then I guess it means you should come up with more creative ways to annoy your sister, from this day forward," Azula said. And Sokka grinned brightly once he saw she was smiling, too. "I'll choose to believe you truly have changed… because if you somehow don't think I'm a girl, and that's why you trained with me for all this time…"

"W-what?! Heck, that's what you thought?! Hell, no, absolutely not, Azula…!"

"I mean, I'd hope you wouldn't think that, you did say I was pretty, so…"

They both talked over each other, and only stopped when the other did. A light laugh left both their lips, and Sokka smiled fondly at her.

"I do think you are pretty, you know?" he said. "Though… I guess that's not too relevant to the conversation, is it?"

"Isn't it?" Azula whispered, softly. "You think I'm pretty… and the most powerful firebender in the world, too?"

"Uh… yeah. I think that sums it up," Sokka grinned. Azula laughed again, shaking her head.

"I guess I should thank you, if anything. For what you did just now, and… for everything else," Azula whispered, gazing at him intensely. Sokka's chest tightened: everything else? What did that even mean…?

The question vanished in his head once she stepped closer, leaning forward… and he followed suit, catching her lips with his own clumsily. He didn't really know how to do this, he'd never done it before… and neither had she. But they stood where they did, under the dark skies in the North Pole, sharing a strange, sincere, peaceful moment where no wars weighed on their minds, no conflicts, no pursuits of revenge…

He held her in place, feeling closer to Azula than ever before, and not only because they were kissing: despite their starting point had suggested otherwise, by now he found himself trusting her, wholeheartedly, even if he shouldn't have. For even if the Fire Nation would never reassure him, he thought he understood her loyalty better after today. It wasn't a matter of nations, not for her… it was a matter of standing by those you treasured, come what may. And while she shouldn't have grown fond of them, for a myriad of reasons, she wouldn't have helped Katara so readily if she hadn't felt a powerful kinship with all three of them by now. Perhaps he could see through Azula better now, if just a little…

Surprisingly, Pakku relented on the next day: he took to training Katara personally, freeing Azula to spar with her and Aang on evenings, so the waterbenders could test their skills against firebenders like herself. Mornings, however – if they could be called that, it was always damn dark in this pole, as far as Azula could tell – were much more exciting: she'd spend the whole time with Sokka, training with him just as well… and occasionally doing something other than training, too. They were still young, and they had much left to learn… and as it was, they were quite busy learning how to kiss properly. And with every joyful grin their secretive exchanges elicited in Sokka, Azula's heart soared too. Suddenly it was all too easy to forget she wasn't merely taking a trip with friends, seeing the world, and that she had a rather important task in mind…

She guessed everyone had figured out what was brewing between her and Sokka by the time Iroh decided they'd do best to leave already, once all alliances were settled, and the two waterbenders had learned plenty by Pakku's standards. They didn't walk hand-in-hand, nor did they make any sorts of affectionate gestures in public… but Sokka never stopped smiling goofily at her. It wasn't unpleasant, of course. She could withstand it, no doubt. Though she did fear that, if this kept up, her uncle would congratulate her, and even offer unwanted love advice… ugh, just the idea was embarrassing and sickening.

Yet their new journey was different, now that they were together, in some strange way. She shared her meals with Sokka, visited him in his cabin, and he visited her in hers. They spent occasional afternoons napping together, or talking, or simply cuddling… and all of it had been smooth, perfectly agreeable, filling her chest with a joyful warmth she was sure she had never experienced before. She shouldn't lower her guard so much, she knew that… but Sokka felt safe. He was a good person… he couldn't lie, it wasn't in his system. And he valued people… he treasured them. That was why he could hold her so closely, why his strong heartbeats could soothe her, why his voice sent blissful shivers down her spine…

It was slowly becoming the best period of her life. She didn't need anything but his sweet good night kisses, and his stubbornness as they trained together, and his clumsy flirty remarks that charmed her even if her common sense told her she shouldn't find them all that amusing. She wanted more of this, more of him…

Until they reached Omashu, and reality slammed into her with the force of an avalanche once they glimpsed the red-and-black banner of the Fire Nation dangling at those gates.

"She made another move. She's… she's going to take more and more Earth Kingdom bastions until everything is under her control!" Azula had exclaimed, fists tightened as she glared at the city.

"Calm yourself, Azula," Iroh said, breathing deeply. "We… we may yet find a way in."

"Bumi…" Aang grimaced, lowering his gaze. "We're too late to help…"

"I doubt it. I'm sure we can get in somehow," Sokka said, stubbornly. "The Fire Nation can't be that infallible. And hey! They probably didn't kill your friend Bumi either, Aang, because if he's king, like Iroh says, he's too valuable to kill anyway! So that means we have a chance to save him, alright?"

"You're right… you're right!" Aang said, frowning with determination. "I'll find Bumi. I mean, I hope I can recognize him even now, but I'll do it! And I know just the way to get inside the city!"

The way inside, as it happens, included a trip through sewers that Iroh, naturally, refrained from taking part of. He claimed he'd stay outside, with their soldiers, ensuring to stay hidden while he left the difficult job to the youngsters since they'd, allegedly, blend in easier. No, Azula didn't believe for a second that he was doing it for any other reason besides being appalled by the notion of waddling through literal rivers of shit.

But the more shocking moment of the experience came afterwards: as much as they tried to sneak through the city unnoticed, they failed to be stealthy enough to avoid hostilities by Fire Nation soldiers. And while Aang and Katara managed to keep most at bay with their bending, a sudden flurry of projectiles cast towards Sokka when he was busy parrying a soldier's flames with his club, caused Azula to leap forward and banish them away from him with a blast of blue flames… and a familiar voice suddenly spoke, in the darkness of Omashu's night streets:

"Azula?"

Those projectiles. That voice. Azula froze in place as she raised her gaze to find a silhouette so familiar, and yet so much more grown than she had last seen it. It couldn't be anyone else but her, though…

"Mai," she spoke, swallowing hard. No, she wasn't ready to confront her former friend, she truly wasn't, but if it came to it…

Mai seemed to snarl and rush towards them: that was Azula's first sign that something was different. Aang and Katara geared up to defend themselves, but Azula stretched her arm before them, stopping her new friends from attacking the old, who merely raced through streets, silently asking her to follow. And so Azula did, leading her three companions while ignoring and disregarding the soldiers shouting after them – as well as Mai's mother, who appeared to be aghast that her daughter had rushed off somewhere, straight towards the action.

After much running through maze-like streets, they reached a small, empty hut that stank of stale fish, a smell Azula found most distressing, but it seemed that very stench would serve to ward off the soldiers, as per Mai's logic. She ushered them inside and then they waited: the troops rushed past, searching further down the streets, assuming no one would be hiding within the old market's fishing storage room.

"My parents shut this place down about a week ago," Mai explained. "I knew it'd be empty. I try not to pay attention to their boring business, but…"

"Why would they even shut anything down?" Azula asked, aghast. "Mai, what are you doing here?"

"So… she really is your friend?" Sokka asked, with an awkward smile. "Not that I doubted you, Azula, but maybe a little heads-up would've been nice."

"I didn't think we'd have time to introduce you all when escaping from rabid soldiers, mind you," Azula sighed, shaking her head. Mai raised her eyebrows.

"Huh. You found yourself a boyfriend, then?" she asked. Both Sokka and Azula flinched and blushed, grateful that the darkness of the room wouldn't allow anyone to pick up on their reactions all that easily.

"He's…! W-well…" Azula mumbled. Sokka pouted.

"Not really like we've discussed what terms we want to use, so, uh, I mean…"

"Yes. He is her boyfriend," Katara said, with a blunt smile. "And I'm his sister. And this is…"

"Their friend," Azula cut off, once Aang's introduction came next. "Just as she is Mai, my old friend from school."

"I'm surprised you've made so many new friends, actually. You were never much good at that," Mai said, bluntly. "But it's a good thing, I guess, so… congratulations. Invite me to the wedding."

"We're a little too young to get married, right?" Sokka said, with a small voice. "But, well, if you wait for a few years, surely…"

"Surely?" Azula asked, startled.

"W-well, I mean, once I convince you I'm worth marrying, right?"

To Azula's surprise, Mai snorted. She couldn't remember when was the last time she ever heard her friend laugh – maybe she never had, actually. She turned a confused stare towards Mai, who shook her head sadly.

"Must be fun, huh? Not having everyone choosing your life for you," she said. "Not that I complain too much about my lot, I could be worse off, but… I'm not in Omashu because I want to be, for starters. The armies took the city a few months ago. My father was offered the position of governor, and he accepted it without a second thought. We've been here for a week and I already want to die if it means release from this drab place…"

"My mother…" Azula said. Mai tensed up immediately. "This was all her doing, obviously. Do you know anything else about her plans? Anything…?"

"What are you trying to do?" Mai asked, eyeing Azula with unexpected compassion. "You're not… trying to rebel against her, are you? It hasn't gone well for those who've tried…"

"I'm not stupid enough to be scared just because of that," Azula hissed. "Surely there's still enough dissenters…"

"Less and less every day," Mai said. Azula's heart sank. "She… gets rid of them. One by one, without leaving a trace. The Fire Nation… it's terrorized by its leader, I guess."

"And Zuko is fine with that? He doesn't do anything to…?" Azula said. Mai's eyes dropped to the ground at those questions.

"Zuko… has changed. Not to the point where he isn't himself anymore, but…" Mai said, grimacing. "He's not the boy who'd save me from burning apples anymore. Without you, without your father, he's different. Your mother's doing, I guess…"

"So… what, you don't care about him anymore?" Azula asked. If Zuko had changed so much that even Mai, who had loved him since childhood, couldn't endure it anymore… just what kind of madness was taking place in the Fire Nation?

"I didn't say that. I know his true self, his better sides, are still somewhere deep inside him," Mai said, closing her eyes. "But all this power, all your mother's teachings… they've done him a lot of harm. He's become… arrogant. He gets away with anything he wants to do. He can even hurt servants in fits of rage, if he feels like it, and… and no one cares. The servants vanish after. I… I've been with him, for all these years since you were banished. Technically, this assignment of my father's is meant to cement my eventual marriage to him, but… I can't be as excited about it as I was when I didn't know what I was signing up for."

"Then… it's my mother's influence. That's all there is to it," said Azula, looking at Mai pleadingly. "Join us. Help us release the king, and come with us. You can help us fight my mother, get Zuko back to who he…"

Mai shook her head slowly, and Azula's heart sank.

"If you want the king, I'll give him to you. But I… I can't fight against him, Azula. I may not be happy with who he is anymore, but… I love your brother. I think I always will."

"What…? No! You can't…! Mai, if you love him, that's all the more reason to fight!" Azula exclaimed, exasperated. "You should want to bring him back to who he was when you fell in love with him, you should…!"

"I'm not gullible enough to believe that's possible," Mai said, startling Azula. "It would be grand, if he chose to turn back into who he was before, but… I won't hold my breath. Innocence can't be regained when lost. I fear as much, at least."

Azula gritted her teeth, tightening her fists so much her nails dug into her palms painfully. So that was it? That was her choice? It was outrageous… unbelievable. It made no sense to Azula, and yet the reality of the situation dawned on her further: her mother had damaged the Fire Nation on every possible level she could have. She had corrupted her brother's once-pure soul, and turned him into someone even Mai couldn't love as wholeheartedly as she once had. She had done away with every smidge of resistance until there was nothing left… and now she was taking over every remaining city in the Earth Kingdom, no doubt intending to conquer every city left in the large continent, perhaps to gift the whole world to her puppet son once he reached his seventeenth birthday.

Those thoughts were tormenting her when Mai led them all the way to the statue being erected at the top of Omashu's tallest pyramid: Azula scowled upon recognizing it was made in her mother's image. How she wished to be an earthbender and tear the damn thing to pieces…

But where the king, suspended in a strange coffin, should have rejoiced over the opportunity to leave the city without a hassle, he instead refused to do so, surprising the previously thrilled Aang, who stared at him in chagrin at those words. The king made up some strange excuses about neutral jing, doing nothing, as an option in fighting, and claimed his moment to reclaim his city would arrive in due time. In the end, their venture into the second largest city of the continent was but a waste of time, and a rather depressing one at that. Mai led them to the sewers again, and Azula glanced at her as she walked away, knowing her friend meant her no harm with her decision… but knowing, too, that there was no way she'd change her mind. Zuko was Mai's priority… no matter what kind of man he might have become.

"We should simply teach him firebending! What's the point of sticking to the damn cycle of elements anyway? The idea is for the Avatar to learn it all! He's had two perfectly capable firebenders to teach him for months and we haven't taught him a single thing because you won't allow it!"

"The cycle is what it is for good reason, Azula. An airbending Avatar needs to learn how to ground himself before he can firebend, lest he will lose control of his fire in virtue of how volatile the element and his bending in general will be. The same is true for everything else! A firebending Avatar learns waterbending to temper his flames before the air stokes them out of control…!"

"And it's always the fire that's the problem. Funny philosophies you have, Uncle."

"My philosophies are the product of study and tradition. This is done this way for good reason, Azula: the Avatar is a delicate entity, and any mistakes in his upbringing could result in a catastrophe!"

"Then what the hell are we going to do, huh? Please, enlighten me!" Azula exclaimed, rising to her feet as she glared at her Uncle. Sokka grimaced, sitting beside her by the fire as they'd been. "Are we going to stay put because we can't convince one damn earthbender out of thousands to teach the Avatar? Do we let my mother get away with everything she's done so far? I thought we had an agreement…!"

"And we still do," Iroh said, sternly. "But we both agreed to be lenient with each other, flexible, until everything was resolved. And you aren't being that right now…"

"Neither are you, Mr. Tradition and Study," Azula scowled, shaking her head and storming off without another word.

Aang and Katara shrank awkwardly by the fire as Iroh sighed. Sokka, of course, grimaced and stood up.

"I'll go after her," he said. "Though… I do think I agree with her. Not just about the bending, but… what are we going to do if we can't release the king? You were betting on these alliances to be strong enough to defeat the Fire Lady… but is anything that powerful?"

"I… don't know," Iroh admitted, quietly.

Sokka sighed and walked away, following the trail Azula had left through. She sat by the edge of the mountain they were camping at, glaring at Omashu in the distance, when he took his seat beside her again.

"Want to make out?" Azula blurted out, suddenly. Sokka nearly fell off the mountain altogether at the sudden question. "Can't say I'm in the mood… but it might help me feel better."

"Well… maybe after we talk?" Sokka said, with an awkward smile. Azula sighed and buried her face in her knees. Sokka reached out, caressing her head. "Azula…"

"I get it now. I… I understand how you must feel about me," she said. Sokka froze, unsure of what she would mean by that. Was she trying to end things between them, somehow…? Oh, he sure hoped she wasn't… "I've kept rambling on and on about my revenge quest… but I've never said I'm against anything the Fire Nation did in the war, have I?"

"Uh… yeah. I guess you haven't," Sokka admitted.

"It's because I wasn't," Azula said. Sokka frowned, his fingers slipping down from the top of her head to the nape of her neck. "I saw nothing wrong… with everything that we'd done. Because I wasn't raised to see it, so I didn't care to. Even when we met… I just wanted to end the war at all costs because I thought it'd be the worst blow against my mother. But now… if I'm feeling so lost, so angry over Omashu being hers, the people there must feel a thousand times worse. As must have everyone else, all across the Earth Kingdom, and the old Air Nomad bastions… though those aren't even alive to resent the Fire Lords for it. And yet it took this much for me to see it."

"At least you see it now," Sokka said, biting his lip.

"But I also see why you couldn't trust me. It's why I never encouraged you to trust me, too," Azula mumbled. "I'm like Mai, aren't I? It doesn't matter if I know the Fire Nation is wrong, or breaking balance, I… I just want to fight for it. I want to do what's right by it. Even… if it doesn't deserve that."

"Heh… I don't know if the whole nation deserves your hard work or not," Sokka said, lowering his hand to clasp hers. "But you're not like her. You're taking action, right? You want to fight back. She's given up, but you never did."

"I'm not fighting the right battle, though, am I?" Azula said, glancing at him. "It doesn't end just with dethroning her. Not if she's corrupting Zuko as Mai says she did. Whatever my uncle may say or think about him, my brother… he has an awful temper. He's hot-headed and impulsive, and there's no way mother's death or forceful removal would ever sit well with him. He needs to understand what's wrong with the Fire Nation, just as I have, but… he won't. He just… won't."

"Then maybe the Fire Nation needs another Fire Lord," Sokka said, gazing at her meaningfully. Azula frowned before shooting him a wary glance. "Or… is it Fire Lady in this case too? I'm sorry, I don't really know…"

"I… take the throne? Instead of Zuko?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.

"If you want to, make it a temporary thing," he said. "Until he's seen enough of the world, if you can trust him to do what's right by his people if he learns better. Or you can just depose him for good, and take the throne yourself to guide the Fire Nation to a better future… I mean, you could, right? You've been friends with us… you've helped us, protected us, given us a chance to fight back, even if for your own reasons. I… I know I shouldn't trust you, right? But… I think I do now. Even if I didn't mean to… I do."

"So, if I let you down, I'll hurt you," Azula concluded, with a grimace. "That's fun…"

"I'm sorry if it's a lot of pressure," Sokka smiled sadly. "But… come on, I wouldn't make out with someone I can't trust."

"Why not? Could be fun," Azula huffed.

"Wait, it 'could' be? Here I thought you'd say you're doing that with me," Sokka smirked.

To his relief, Azula smiled before leaning in to kiss him softly. Sokka returned the gesture, finishing off by pressing another kiss to the tip of her nose.

"Guess I've ended up trusting you too. Curses, we're a mess," Azula sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face to his shoulder. "I just… feel at ease with you. I trust that you won't betray me… I trust that I understand you, no matter how different we are. And yet I… I can't trust the Fire Nation. I can't trust anyone there, not my friends, not my family, I… I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. And I can't say any of this to anyone but you… which is already a miracle. Because I… couldn't tell anyone, before I met you. I spent three years letting my thoughts fester…"

"And now you can share them with me" Sokka said, smiling warmly at her "Look… I don't know if I'll help at all by saying this, but before we met, I hated the Fire Nation. Now, because of you… I can't hate it, not really. What I'm thinking is… you're a product of that mess of a culture, just as everyone else you know is. But you're also proof that not everything in the Fire Nation is doomed, Azula. You're proof great things can come from it… and you're proof they can change their ways, too. If you've learned from all this… if you can't help but empathize with those who've lost their homes, their hope, their very nation… then it means you're the one better suited for breaking the Fire Nation's cycle, the best hope this world has. I know the path ahead wouldn't be easy, but… I'll be here. Even if your mom goes down, and your brother leaves you be, and you get to rule the Fire Nation and bring it back into proper harmony, I'll be right there with you, every step of the way."

"You… you took the marriage thing that seriously, huh?" Azula sakd, with a weak grin. Sokka chuckled and shrugged.

"I like you more and more every day, as it is," he whispered. "I… I guess maybe at this point I even…"

"You even…?" Azula said, her heart racing as she waited for him to finish his sentence. He smiled and bit his lip, almost shyly.

"I even might love you. But, you know, I've never felt like this with a girl, so… it's all new for me and I don't know if it's love yet," he laughed. "I… kind of want it to be, though."

"You… want to love me?" Azula asked. Sokka grinned and nodded. "That's… a strange concept. But… it's somewhat cute, I guess."

"Glad you think so," Sokka chuckled.

Azula smiled as she leaned in to kiss him again. She hadn't said the words back, but this was the second-best follow-up, as far as he could tell. She wasn't quite so forthright with feelings, he had noticed… she had been far more honest tonight than in most their long conversations before he left for his cabin at night on the ship. He felt a little closer to her now, and that was a blissful sensation indeed. She had been troubled before, but now… she seemed hopeful. She had heard him out… and she understood him. Maybe she didn't agree with everything… maybe she didn't want to take the throne for herself in the end. But she smiled anyways after their kiss broke off, and his heart soared because of it.

Iroh seemed relieved when Azula returned in better spirits… and he didn't ignore the bold handholding between the pair of teenagers. He held back a smile, though he remained silent until Azula's voice reached him.

"Our next goal should be gathering support throughout the Earth Kingdom," Azula declared, firmly, as though she hadn't been upset mere moments ago. "I propose we go to the largest cities, especially if you have any contacts in them. We'll find a proper earthbending master for Aang eventually, I'd assume."

"That… yes, sounds reasonable," Iroh said, nodding. "Then… we'll leave Omashu be?"

"We don't have much of a choice, do we?" Azula sighed. "And we still have a war and a Fire Lady to stop. At all costs. If King Bumi is sure he can fix this himself somehow, it's his business, but we can move forward regardless. There's no reason to think the war effort should be over only because Omashu has fallen."

Her renewed determination, after her previous bout of frustration, had soothed Iroh deeply. He smiled again as they made arrangements to continue their journey, and while they wouldn't have it as easy to travel as before, for they'd need to leave their soldiers on the ship if they didn't want to garner unwanted attention in Earth Kingdom settlements, their reinvigorated direction aided the group's mood greatly.

The city of Gaoling was their next goal, and while Iroh took his time to arrange matters to gain the local nobles' favor, the younger members of the group busied themselves with finding an earthbending master for Aang. After a fruitless attempt to have him train in Master Yu's school, they found out about an underground earthbending battling ring… and while Azula enjoyed watching her boyfriend – the word still felt foreign, but she was growing used to it gradually – screaming excitedly to his heart's content over each combat, she enjoyed nothing quite as much as his horror when the champion of these duels stepped into the fray at last, and defeated Sokka's favorite fighter with nothing but a few well-calculated blows.

Aang had been convinced immediately that the small girl was his fated master, but his intervention in the fights, and attempt to challenge her only to request her help, hadn't gone so well. In the end, they wound up returning to the earthbending school in hopes to track down any information about the Blind Bandit, but their best attempts amounted to nothing. In the end, they merely followed Iroh into yet another one of his meetings with local nobles… and curiously, a small girl in the Beifong family looked enough like the Blind Bandit – and even acted like her, whenever her parents weren't watching, by lashing out at Aang when he dared tell her the dress suited her too – that it seemed they had happened to discover her identity all the same: the blind daughter of the richest family in Gaoling, Toph Beifong.

What followed that discovery was a spree of wild madness: Aang and Toph were taken prisoners by Sokka's admired earthbending fighter, and as much as Azula, Katara, Sokka and Iroh rushed to their rescue, Toph ended up defeating all the enemies herself. Even then, her parents seemed unwilling to allow her to leave with them… and it seemed she truly did wish to, despite she had rejected the notion of teaching Aang any earthbending so far, even after he told her he was the Avatar.

Yet, just as they were ready to give up…

"I… think I shall have a chat with the Beifongs, before we go," Iroh told Azula, with a bright grin. Azula blinked blankly.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked. "I thought you'd already said they weren't going to be much help in the war effort…"

"That's still true. But I may be able to resolve another problem, if I play my tiles right," Iroh grinned, patting her shoulder before reentering the Beifong mansion.

"What do you think he'll do?" Sokka asked, clasping Azula's hand in his own. Azula grimaced.

"Knowing him? Charm the Beifongs into letting Toph come with us," she said. Sokka scoffed, and Aang groaned.

"It'll never work…" Aang pouted. "They won't let her."

"It's not very likely," Sokka agreed. Katara sighed in defeat as well.

"We'll have to find someone else to…"

"Hey, guys! I'm coming with you!"

Toph voice broke through the conversation: they all turned around in utter disbelief to find the earthbender's parents were crying, hugging Iroh, talking about entrusting their daughter's safety to him. Toph was still wearing her fancy regal clothes, but she had put together a quick bag anyway, and she rushed towards them and Appa with the brightest grin on her face.

"Told you," Azula smiled dryly, as Sokka laughed and shook his head.

"He'd charm a starving man out of his last breadcrumbs, looks lik,e" Sokka said. "That's one less problem, right? We have our earthbender! And now…"

"Now… Ba Sing Se," Azula said, glancing at him with determination: that next goal would be pivotal, crucial, in ending the war to their favor.

They traveled by bison at first, intending to catch up with their ship again halfway through the ocean. Whenever they stopped for a short break, Aang and Toph would work on their earthbending training, or Aang and Katara would work on their waterbending instead. In the meantime, Iroh continued to craft his plans for the next stages of their rebellion… and Azula and Sokka either helped him or hid away for a while for further privacy, returning to the group half an hour later, holding hands and smiling rather carelessly. And while Azula had no intentions of chatting with her uncle about her growing relationship with the Water Tribesman, she certainly had noticed he seemed more likely to smile at her these days, watching over her as, perhaps, a doting father might… not that she thought her own father would ever have approved of this relationship, though. It was, perhaps, an advantage that it was Iroh with her right now, while she explored this rather new walk of life with Sokka.

Toph wasn't particularly thrilled to be stuck on a metal ship once they reached their favored means of transportation, and often demanded she and Aang took off on Appa so they could get some training done in the outskirts of the eastern Earth Kingdom. The pair had only returned from one such journey when one of the soldiers informed Iroh that Ba Sing Se's wall was within view.

"Very well… very well," Iroh nibbled on the tip of his thumb, as his niece stood beside him, arms crossed.

"How will we get in?" she asked. "I doubt we'll find a sewer to sneak through this time… and I also doubt I'll bump into any of my friends here to give us a hand. Do you have any contacts in the city?"

"Regrettably… none I've been able to reach," said Iroh. "But it makes no matter! We shall find a way through, Azula. I have a few ideas on how to do it: we can go incognito! Pretend to be travelers, innocent ones, completely harmless…"

"And how will innocent travelers ever earn an audience with the Earth King?" Sokka asked, blinking blankly: as ever, he stood beside Azula, a hand on her waist.

"Oh, you needn't worry, young man!" Iroh declared, proudly, rubbing his hands together. "I'll see to it myself. You'll be surprised just how far a careful set of words can bring you, if you speak them to the right person!"

"Huh…?" said Sokka, though he smiled at Azula. "Guess he might pull off the same thing he did in Gaoling, right?"

"Maybe. Is that what you intend?" Azula asked Iroh. He chuckled and shrugged.

"Just wait patiently, Princess Azula," he said, determined and enthusiastic. "I shall not lead any of you astray!"

"Well… that sure didn't go as planned, eh?" Iroh smiled awkwardly, at the four sets of glaring eyes that bore into him… and the scowling, sightless eyes that weren't aimed in his direction, but might as well have been.

Being stuck in a narrow space with Sokka's arms around her body wouldn't have displeased Azula under any other circumstances… but a prison cell could easily kill any romantic mood she might have felt, and she certainly had felt none from the moment they had been captured and dragged into Ba Sing Se as prisoners rather than honored guests, regardless of Iroh's many promises.

Their attempt to enter the city through the passports Iroh had procured for them – with the help of some mysterious associate he had met while they traveled with Appa near the Misty Palms Oasis – had been an absolute failure. While he had certainly charmed the woman at the counter, he had failed catastrophically at talking them out of a Dai Li inspection right afterwards. Even though all of them were clad in Earth Kingdom clothes, and Aang's every arrow was perfectly covered with a large hat and a tall collar, something about them had pissed off the earthbenders so much that they found themselves imprisoned in the Earth King's underground prisons now, and with very few hopes of escape, as far as they could tell.

"Ugh, just be quiet. I can try to get us out of here if I just… make a good key," Toph grumbled, using some of the earth of the ground to craft a useful method to either open or outright break the lock.

"We shouldn't even be here in the first place," Azula hissed, regardless of Sokka's soothing caresses to her hair. "What did you say to those bastards? It felt like they just decided to lock us up because they were annoyed by your rambling."

"Maybe. I am good at charming with words… not so good without them," Iroh admitted, stroking his beard.

"But it is excessive, isn't it?" Sokka reasoned. "I mean… unless they figured out who we are? Or at least, who you guys are? I'd think no one knows about Aang yet, right? Even in Omashu he didn't do anything too damning, did he?"

"No, and I deliberately held off from telling Mai who he was," Azula said. "While she's not a bad person, as far as I know, any information she gained on us could be used to destroy us. So… no, I didn't tell her. And in that darkness, I'm not sure if anyone could've noticed it if he was airbending."

"Then maybe they know who you and Iroh are," Katara mused, biting her lip. "Do you think that's possible?"

"Well… yes," Azula conceded.

"We're not very popular at the moment," Iroh admitted, closing his eyes.

"But would the Earth Kingdom know that?" Katara asked.

"They certainly know me as the man who tried to overtake their city, so… I can't say it's too surprising if they want me dead," Iroh admitted. "They may have simply seized us all just because they recognized me, despite the passports."

"And I guess maybe they could've captured Iroh to use him as a hostage to negotiate with the Fire Nation?" Sokka asked. "Just a thought…"

"Might just be the truth, actually," Azula mumbled, frowning.

That gloomy, discouraging possibility was followed up by a surprising sound: metal, screeching in a rather unexpected, unnatural manner.

"Toph?" Sokka called the youngest member of the group. She stood by the door and turned with a rather devious smirk.

"I, uh… think I discovered something," she said.

"Did you… y-you just broke through the metal door?!" Aang gasped, upon glimpsing that Toph's hand was past the door, through a small hole she had dug into it somehow. She couldn't have looked prouder.

"Guess… I'm a metalbender," she announced, grinning.

They were racing down the Palace basement's corridors moments afterwards, speeding up as fast as they could, hoping to find a hiding place, anywhere safe where they might be able to cheat the Dai Li, and either get out of the city or contact the king directly, and inform him of their situation. Aang spotted a staircase that led to the upper floors, and they all rushed towards it in a hurry…

"Wait. I sense people!" Toph exclaimed, grimacing before pulling out a chunk of the wall to use as a weapon against whoever stood outside the prison block's doors.

The others merely stepped out of the way while the earthbender heaved the massive projectile and tossed it, busting the door off its hinges, startling the soldiers in red and in green right outside the…

Red?

Azula's eyes widened when she identified those helmets, those dark uniforms, highlighted in crimson. But most of all, everyone gasped when an onslaught of fire scorched Toph's projectile and blasted it out of the way…

Azula's heart sank. It sank deeper and deeper as soon as she saw those crimson robes fully: Imperial Firebenders. That could only mean…

"Oh, dear. I suppose you've made rather uncivilized friends who cannot seem to greet others in an acceptable manner, haven't you? I expected something classier from you, Azula."

Her heart couldn't seem to settle between racing or stopping when her golden eyes found the honeyed-poison ones of the woman who had just spoken her name with derision. The woman who stood behind the Imperial Firebenders who had just stepped out of the way… revealing her, as well as a young man who stood beside her, proud and strong in his gold-lined armor, his chin held high despite his eyes betrayed a joviality and innocence that didn't befit a Crown Prince.

A joviality and innocence completely absent in the eyes of the woman he followed most obediently.

Azula felt Sokka tensing up beside her. She could tell Aang was nervous, that even Toph was doubting, that Katara was frantically looking for a way out, despite they were surrounded by hostile soldiers of two nations that should have only been enemies… that Iroh was as furious as she was, and for once, failing to conceal it properly.

This was why they had been imprisoned. This was why their plans were failing: she had made her move. And whatever her plans were now, she intended to take Ba Sing Se for herself. Perhaps she already had.

"Well?" said the elegant woman, raising her eyebrows skeptically. "Did they infect you with that uncivilized behavior, by any chance? Glaring at me in such a manner is most unbefitting, Azula…"

"How… how dare you…?" Azula hissed, her furious eyes gleaming. "Why are you…?! How are you even here?!"

The woman smiled, and Azula's tightened fists seemed poised to shatter with all her charged fury. Once she had pretended to be gentle, kind, a perfect mother with no ill intentions… she had long put aside such pretenses, and now stood before her with no masks, whatsoever.

"Answer me…" Azula snarled, glaring so fiercely it seemed she intended to set the woman on fire through willpower alone: "What are you doing here, Mother?!"

The soldiers had dragged most the group back to the prison cells. They had been locked in another one, this time with guards poised watching them, ensuring that even if they managed another miraculous escape that defied sense and reality, they wouldn't be able to make it very far without alerting the whole Palace that they were running. It seemed, to Azula's utter chagrin, that their first escape attempt had been a failure by mere chance: had Toph released them merely ten minutes earlier, they might have been able to get away.

"It was rather amusing, I must say. I had intended to visit you and your uncle, of course," Ursa was reciting, as she paced inside a Palace sitting room, a cup of steaming tea in her hand. She had poured another one, but Azula, the only other occupant in the room, by Ursa's express request, refused to touch it, no matter how parched she was. "But you two merely rushed me and my procession just when we were handling the security details regarding how to head down into that dark prison block as safely as possible! Amusing, truly…"

"You still haven't answered me," the exiled Princess said, her head hung, her arms chained behind her back, shackled just as her feet were, held down on the heavy table. She had managed to sit down… but that was as far as her movements would get her, apparently. "Why… why are you here? How? The Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation have been at war for…"

"For a hundred years, even longer if you're to take into account how poorly the Earth Kingdom responded to Fire Lord Sozin's first colonies, yes," Ursa said, carelessly, taking her seat at the other side of the table. She was the picture of regal luxury, clad in beautiful robes, sporting as many jewels and royal artifacts as she dared wear… whereas Azula was in an incognito outfit, filthy from her time in jail, her hair in disarray. And where Azula sat on the floor, without even a cushion, her mother relaxed in a smooth lounge, reclining sideways into perfect comfort. "Isn't it a rather drab business, the war? I've had to continue it, of course, the nation would've stood for nothing else, but… oh, there just had to be more effective ways to resolve all this, don't you believe?"

"Effective?" Azula repeated, breathing heavily. "Like what? Are you… y-you're trying to enter an alliance with the Earth King?"

"Trying? Do you really think I'd be here if I hadn't succeeded?" Ursa smirked. Azula's aghast expression only amused her mother further. "It wasn't quite so difficult, mind you: just a little persuasion goes a long way with unseasoned kings who don't know any better. King Kuei isn't even aware there's a war… his fool of an advisor never told him as much. Once I arrived for a diplomatic visit, how could they have refused me?"

"He didn't tell him…? The Earth King didn't know there was a war?" Azula asked. "That's absurd! How could they shelter him to a point where…?"

"Isn't it utterly embarrassing, really?" Ursa said, smiling and shaking her head. "I almost felt sorry for the poor thing. He's infatuated with me too, you see… perfectly useful for my purposes, of course. If I give him enough reason to believe he'll ever be able to craft a permanent alliance between our nations, he'll wind up signing his whole continent to me without his awareness…"

"And that's when you'll strike," Azula hissed, resisting the urge to spit at her mother right then and there. "Guess that's what you stoop to nowadays, huh? Seducing men to get your way?"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's hardly my fault men are quite so foolish and gullible," Ursa said, raising her eyebrows dismissively as she took to checking her makeup. Azula snarled.

"That's surely what you thought of my father too, isn't it? Foolish and gullible… and then you killed him. You killed him, just as you killed my grandfather, all for Zuko's sake…!"

"Honestly, child," Ursa said, rolling her eyes before glancing at her skeptically. "Do you truly believe your incompetent father could've run this nation and finished this war with anything short of Sozin's Comet's second coming? Even then, he surely would have failed. He filled his mind with absolute delusions about how that throne belonged to him… as though he'd ever be capable of ruling without sending the whole nation into chaos and disaster. Am I questioned over my rise into power? No doubt: is the Fire Nation thriving, more than it ever did before? Of course it is. And neither your father nor your thrice-accursed grandfather could've achieved that. The Fire Nation's better than it ever was, and it's all because of me."

"I have a hard time believing that," Azula hissed. Ursa let out a soft chuckle and she shook her head.

"No doubt. You were your father's beloved golden daughter, weren't you?" Ursa said. "I suppose you would feel rather differently if he had been Fire Lord for longer than a week. And what a tragedy that was…"

"Tragedy? Tragedy?!" Azula snarled. "You and I both know you were behind that! You were! Quit playing pretense and admit it, if not to the world, to me! You've lied to my face for years, and then got rid of me because you knew I'd discover the truth! Now you've trapped me because you know I'm a threat! If you'll just lock me away somewhere, the least you can do for your daughter is admit your blasted crimes!"

"Lock you away? Oh, dear, again with the histrionics…" Ursa sighed, standing up and making her way to a nearby armoire. Azula glared at her mother fierce, wrestling with her chains, wishing she could move beyond being chained to the damn table. "What makes you think I'd want to keep you imprisoned, Azula, really?"

Azula huffed, breathing heavily as the reality and weight of those words sank inside her very soul. No, her mother didn't traditionally take prisoners. What she did was…

Her eyes widened just as Ursa turned around, a small vial of translucent liquid in her hands.

"Calm down, Sokka… you won't help her just by fretting in here," Katara told her brother, but Sokka refused to listen to reason.

"We have to get out. We have to. Toph, please…"

"There's a lot of soldiers out there," Toph said, biting her lip. "If we wait for a change of shift…"

"That could be too late!" Sokka exclaimed. "Azula is alone with her murderous mother! There's no way she'll be fine there, damn it! We have to…!"

"Shh," Toph said, suddenly. "Someone's coming."

Sokka fell silent begrudgingly, his heart racing and aching on equal amounts. No, no, no, he couldn't lose Azula, he simply couldn't lose her… he felt as though he were falling off Appa, with an unbearable vertigo, as though the whole world would shatter if he couldn't reach her on time…

The footsteps Toph had heard were audible eventually, and they stopped at their cell. The voice that accompanied them was only familiar for one member of their group, once they heard it:

"Leave me. I'll speak to my Uncle alone."

Wait… soldiers, dismissed? Sokka's eyes gleamed. It was their chance…!

Iroh shot him a warning glare, and Sokka's soaring heart sank all over again. Iroh turned towards the door, waiting for the young man outside to stop breathing heavily and to speak, outright.

"I… I'm sorry you're imprisoned, Uncle," said none other than Azula's brother, of course: Zuko. "I didn't want you to be, but Mother… she thinks you're dangerous. I've told her you're not, that you'd never hurt me, but she's sure you can't be trusted. I'm sorry she sent you away with Azula, you two never got along… it must have sucked. But hey, I'll try to convince Mother to let you stay with us! I'll be Fire Lord this year, so if you're patient I can revoke your exile sooner than you thought! You'll be able to come back home, Uncle… and I know things between you and Mother are messy, but I'll help you fix it. I will. I just… I miss you."

Sokka's harsh glare warned Iroh not to do anything foolish either. Iroh held his gaze for a moment, nodding weakly before speaking through the door.

"I missed you too, my nephew," he said, smiling heartily, offering his words yet another coating of warmth and kindness. "It wasn't easy, no… but while I didn't expect to reunite with you while I'm imprisoned, I sure rejoiced in it all the same. You've grown into a very handsome young man! Surely all the ladies in the city want to marry you…"

"Oh, haha, well, yeah…" Zuko laughed outside. Iroh grinned.

"I trust you, my nephew. I know your heart is in the right place. I'll wait until you can help me, but… is it okay if I make one request right now?"

"Sure! Anything you want, Uncle!"

"I would very much like to see your face properly… and give you a big hug."

Sokka blinked blankly. Katara and Aang stared at Iroh in confused chagrin while Toph's jaw dropped. No way. That was so obvious, it was even worse than ANYTHING he'd said to the Dai Li earlier…

"Oh… I'd need the keys for that. Give me a second! Guards!"

Iroh smirked, and Toph had to cover her mouth to avoid chortling. Sokka bit his lip, his heart racing at haste yet again…

The lock slid open. The door swung outwards. The regal Fire Prince, soon to be Fire Lord, stood right outside, smiling warmly at his uncle…

Iroh sighed and spread his arms, and Zuko knelt before hugging him. Iroh rocked him gently in his arms, and Zuko chuckled, no doubt elated that his perfect life would only improve from now on…

And then his whole body seemed to go numb right after Iroh's hand pinched him right at the nape of his neck.

"W-wha…?" he said, his voice trembling: even speaking seemed near impossible to him now. What on earth…?

"I'm sorry, Zuko. But I won't abandon your sister."

Sokka didn't wait for another moment before rushing the guards right outside: Toph helped him by slamming some into a wall while he attacked two with powerful bare fists, and Aang joined in by using his own earthbending to fight back. Katara smiled wildly as she leapt over Iroh and Zuko: the old general was pulling his nephew inside the prison cell, and he laid him there just after all the nearby guards were defeated: the betrayal in Zuko's eyes was heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry, truly," Iroh said, nodding in his direction before closing the door, locking it firmly.

"For a second there I thought…" Sokka told Iroh, breathing heavily. Iroh scoffed.

"You think I'd ever join my sister-in-law? After everything she's done?" Iroh said. "No matter how honeyed Zuko's words may be… I won't abandon Azula. You're not the only one who's loyal to her, you hear me?"

Sokka smiled and nodded, just as Katara returned to him, strapping her waterbending pouches to her body while handing Sokka his weapons.

"We need to find Azula," Sokka said, firmly. "Toph! Help us track her down!"

"Aye-aye, captain!"

They didn't waste time rushing to the stairs: Toph and Aang tore open the ceiling and they raised their group to the next floor with earthbending. There was no point in stealth anymore, not when they knew this was an enemy best fought through unpredictability… Sokka breathed deeply, leaping off the earthbending pillar once they reached solid ground – albeit now torn with a huge hole –, while Toph and Aang slammed their bare feet into the ground, searching the Palace's upper floors with seismic sense until they located Azula…

"You'll get your answer, I said… once you drink this. Simple, right?" Ursa smirked, stepping towards her daughter: Azula pulled away violently, keeping her lips tightly shut as her mother knelt beside her. "And here I thought you wanted to know the truth. Don't you want to anymore, Azula? That's just so confusing and contradictory…"

Azula would've snarled, would've protested, if she had thought her mother wouldn't empty the vial's contents in her mouth as soon as she dared separate her lips. Curse everything… curse it all. That was how she'd done it, then. Poison… a suitable weapon for one who didn't dirty her hands willingly. She was ever the picture of perfection… and now she intended to destroy her, just as she had destroyed her father. How many people had she killed this way? How many had suspected her, known she was up to no good, and she had simply offed them right then and there? Azula couldn't even venture a guess. Her whole body screamed rejection, and she tugged at her chains in a hopeless attempt to release herself from the shackles…

But Ursa only smirked where she knelt, cockily raising her eyebrows defiantly, waiting for Azula to make a mistake. Hoping to goad her into making them, even.

"It's supposed to be tasteless. You surely won't feel a thing," she said. "Your father was quite calm when he drank it mixed with a cup of rice wine that night, if I recall right. Oh, no… it was lychee wine, wasn't it?"

Azula gasped: Ursa made her move: Azula screamed as her mother held her jaw forcefully, preventing Azula from slamming her mouth shut as she had intended to… and pouring the contents of the vial right into her mouth.

"That being said… I could've mixed it with your tea, if you preferred that. Would it have been better, perhaps? You might have enjoyed it better, right, Azula?" Ursa smirked: now she held the exiled Princess's jaw closed, doing her very best to prevent her from spitting out the liquid.

Azula's face was contorted with outrage, disgust and fear. She was going to die, she was actually going to die… and her mother had admitted the truth. She had admitted this was how she'd killed so many people, so many times…

"How I've longed for this moment…" Ursa said, holding her daughter down still, in a more violent display of strength than any Azula had seen from her until that day. "How I've wanted to get rid of your meddling, you spoiled brat. You won't take your brother's throne for yourself the way your damn father did with your uncle. Oh, yes, your uncle deserved it, but Zuko… he's the one true Fire Lord. And you… you were never meant to be born. You were an unwanted accident, one I'll put an end to, right now…!"

The floor underneath the table collapsed suddenly, loudly: Ursa gasped, her control on the situation shattering for long enough to release Azula… and for Azula to spit the entire content of the vial in her mother's face, to Ursa's horror.

She'd still need to rinse off, she had to do it as soon as possible, that damn thing had to be potent if Ursa believed such a small amount would suffice for murder… one quick glance nearly made her cry of joy rather than despair: tears did burn in her eyes after Ursa had damn near killed her, but they gained a new meaning now as Sokka jumped out of the hole in the ground towards her, concern clear in his face.

"Azula! Azula, I'm here, we're here…!"

"What have you done to her?!" Iroh bellowed, rushing towards Ursa and clasping her by the neck of her long dress. "Answer me!"

"P-poison…" Azula coughed, trying to spit out the remnants of the thing: Katara knelt before her, offering her some of her bending water to rinse her mouth fully, perhaps too invasively, but Azula didn't care. Not if it meant she'd survive… and she truly expected she would be, with Katara's help, while Sokka held her closely.

"To think I complained about my family being boring," Toph growled, holding a boulder at the ready to attack the Fire Lady.

"How could you do this to your own daughter?!" Aang asked, aghast. "You… you're not worthy of leading the Fire Nation! What you've done here today will be known…!"

"Ha! What's a child like you going to do anyways? I have soldiers, an army…!" Ursa shouted.

"And I'm the Avatar!" Aang shouted: yet it wasn't his voice alone: a sudden flash of light startled all of them, for his eyes had gained an unexpected white gleam, as well as the arrows in his body. Ursa's jaw dropped, and she trembled in Iroh's grip, even once the brightness faded, and the young boy no longer channeled a strange energy through his body. "I won't allow you to continue destroying this world's balance, or your own family, as you have! This war is over, and you're…!"

He fell silent when Azula rose to her feet, near stumbling as her blood rushed vertiginously through her veins. Iroh gazed at her with concern, as did Sokka, who held her gently…

"Toph. Can you… get rid of these chains?"

Toph did as she was told immediately, setting down her boulder to do so. It was a strange suspense that spread across the room, as Azula waited until each shackle was off… but she held the chains all the same. And she glared at her mother with mad fury across her bloodshot eyes.

"You killed my father," Azula said, firmly. "You poisoned his drink. You poisoned my grandfather just the same. You've killed countless in this manner, and admitted to planning on taking advantage of the Earth King for your schemes…"

"You… have no evidence…!" Ursa said, though her poised elegance was gone now: it was her turn to fear, for all tides had been turned against her: where were her soldiers? The Dai Li she had stolen out of Long Feng's control, after ensuring one of the kitchen cooks poisoned his meal? No one was coming to the rescue, but someone had to, someone would… "W-where's Zuko? What have you done to my son?!"

"He's safe and sound. Trust me, he'll never get the same treatment you will," Iroh said, scowling at Ursa.

"Yes. Zuko will live," Azula said, ominously. "She won't."

Her words floored everyone within the room, even the young man who held Azula closely. He gasped, tugging her towards him, but Azula clasped the chains with her now free hands, glaring at Ursa furiously.

"Azula, no!" Sokka exclaimed. "You can't just…!"

"She damn near killed me! She meant to, and she would've killed each of us, one by one, until no one stood against her!" Azula shouted back, trembling violently as she leveled her glare at Ursa. "I won't… I won't let you hurt anyone I love ever again… never again. I will kill you. I will kill you!"

"Azula, stop!" Sokka said, pulling her into an embrace she tried to shake off. Azula snarled, feeling the tears running down her face as she built her resolve: one murder, one more death, and the world would be set right. That was all it took, that was all… "You can break the damn cycle. We talked about this! You can put an end to the misery, to the hatred in the Fire Nation… but not if you continue what your mother already started. Not if you kill her now, just as she killed your father! Your people won't think you're any better than her! They'll assume you don't belong on a throne any more than she does…"

"I don't need a damn throne!" Azula shouted. "I just need…! I just need…!"

"You don't need to kill her. You think you do… but you're a better person than she could ever be," Sokka said, burying his face in her neck.

"Violence and death… that's what the Hundred Year War has been about," Aang said, gazing at Azula sadly. "Maybe… maybe it's not what you want to hear now. But… I think Sokka is right."

"I won't tell you she deserves better than death," Sokka said, gritting his teeth. "What she's done… what she nearly did to you, I want to kill her for that, too! But Azula… if she's dead, the world…"

"The cycle… won't ever break…" Azula whispered, gritting her teeth. "If I kill her…"

"You… you shouldn't kill me, no!" Ursa said, clinging to the sudden possibility of survival that had reared its head when she expected otherwise. "Azula, truly, I only did everything for Zuko! Your grandfather would've killed him, and your father would've done worse…!"

"Shut the hell up!" Azula shouted, glaring at her again. Ursa gritted her teeth, as Iroh scowled at her too.

"No past crimes by your victims will justify what you've done," Iroh said. "You killed my father… and my brother. You nearly killed my niece, too. You've corrupted my nephew's mind while he was none the wiser. And while you won't die today… you shall spend every last day of your life paying for those crimes."

"N-no… no, Iroh, you can't do this to me… I'm the Fire Lady… I'm the Fire Lady!" Ursa shouted. Iroh smirked.

"Not anymore, you're not," he said, curtly.

The meaning of his words wasn't clear, not beyond the obvious: Ursa would be deposed officially, starting today. The bulk of the soldiers who meant to protect her had been defeated effectively by their surprise attacks while they rushed to find Azula: next, they'd visit the Earth King, and explain everything to him thoroughly. And once they were ready, they'd return to the Fire Nation… and Ursa wouldn't see the light of day for the rest of her life.

But who would take her position instead? No one could tell just yet. There was one candidate, locked in a prison, stealthily chi-blocked by his uncle. There was another, cradled in her boyfriend's arms, crying in despair as she relented, accepting that her revenge wasn't what was best for the world, no matter how deserved it might be. And the final candidate, born and raised under the belief that he'd become Fire Lord one day, seemed to believe a new, fresher generation was better than himself for the role.

And as they lingered inside that room, calming down, waiting for the remaining, loyal soldiers to the Earth King to arrive upon being summoned by Toph's shouts out the window, none of them knew what the future would bring… but with Ursa defeated at last, it seemed fitting to believe the war was finally over. It hadn't been the epic bending brawl many expected… but when it came to ending wars, especially the long ones, what mattered most to anyone was that it was finally over, regardless of the manner in which they ended.

A world in peace was a concept that had eluded most their generations. That the Fire Nation would have suddenly withdrawn its troops from the Earth Kingdom, that they had signed treaties of peace with all remaining nations, would have sounded as an impossible, absurd delusion for most people… and yet it was their new reality. A reality that many people cherished deeply, though few cherished it quite as much as the heroes who, in a rather unexpected manner, had defeated the woman who had led the Fire Nation for the last six years.

Zuko, despite all hopes, had taken Iroh's actions as an unbearable betrayal. He would have been granted leniency, but he wanted none of it: he sought to attack his uncle and his sister as soon as he had a chance, demanding for reparations, for justice to be served, for his mother's freedom to be restored… and as much as it had pained Iroh, he had no choice but to restrain Zuko as well. His loyalty to Ursa was unquestioned… but misplaced, just as well. He would be likely to receive second chances in the future… but not until he was ready to listen to the truth. And for now, he certainly was anything but ready for that conversation.

The widespread fear Ursa had subjected her people to became apparent once Azula and Iroh returned home as the new leaders of the Fire Nation: they never expected a hero's welcome, and yet that was what they had received nonetheless. After many debates and thorough conversations with the nobles, the unanimous decision was made: Iroh would take the position of regent for a few years, to guide the transition between Ursa's rule and Azula's future one. The reinstated Princess wouldn't be crowned right away, but the Fire Nation had readily accepted her as their next ruler just the same. Surely occasional opposition would rise, as Ursa's loyalists would still linger somewhere… but fortunately, Azula had more than enough loyalists of her own to back her up.

The most important of them, of course, were currently in the Palace's garden, three of them engrossed in an all-out triple bending battle: Aang laughed as his airbending skills helped him avoid Katara and Toph's attacks, which too often resulted in the two girls striking each other instead. Azula was amused as well as she watched their fight, leisurely relaxing in Sokka's arms as he cuddled her gently.

"Odd… we were supposed to teach him all the elements, but the war ended without him learning any fire," Azula said. Sokka chuckled, kissing her brow.

"The war is over, though. He has plenty of time to learn now," he said. "And he'll have a great teacher, right? Whether you, or Iroh…"

"Eh, I'd be a dreadful teacher…"

"Heh! I'm only a decent warrior now thanks to you, you hear me? I learned a lot from you!"

Azula laughed, nuzzling his neck as she released a deep breath. Sokka smiled, rubbing her back reassuringly: these days, his tense Princess had been much more relaxed than usual. Coming home had done her good, he had no doubts about it… but perhaps it was also the knowledge that she'd helped set the world onto a better course that allowed her to breathe more easily. Her fingers clung to his shirt, clasping it gently, ensuring they'd stay close together for as long as possible… stabilized by the young man who had become her most loyal supporter, and the kindest boyfriend she could have ever hoped to find.

"I know it'll still be a while… and you should make sure to rest and recover from your years on the road while you can," Sokka said, rocking her gently in his arms. "But… I can't wait to see the wonders you'll weave, Fire Lord Azula."

"Wonders?" Azula repeated, smiling weakly. "I doubt that…"

"I don't," Sokka grinned enthusiastically.

"Who'd have thought the most loyal of my subjects wouldn't even be from my nation, huh?" Azula smiled, raising her head towards. him "Somehow… it feels fitting, too."

"We're breaking the cycle," Sokka said. "Marrying a Water Tribe guy? Sounds like just the way to break it for good, as far as I can tell. No old, outdated traditions will ever be followed: time to bring about harmony and peace in the best way possible, right, Azula?"

"By marrying each other? In a few years, that is," Azula said, smiling warmly. "I wouldn't trust anyone else to be my husband anyway."

"And I wouldn't trust anyone else to be my wife," Sokka said, stroking her hair. "It is kind of funny how life turns out, huh? We've come full circle, completely…"

"We have. And I'm definitely proud of it," Azula smiled, raising her head to kiss his lips. "Though… there's one thing left to do, to finish that notion."

"Oh yeah?" Sokka asked, amused.

"I… think I might love you too," Azula said, teasingly. "And even if I don't, I want to."

"Ah… hah," Sokka laughed, pressing his brow to hers. Azula grinned, kissing him again. "You're always so clever… always so clever."

Azula laughed as they exchanged more kisses, deliberately ignoring the loud, rowdy bending battle in the gardens. And from the corner of the nearest corridor, Iroh smiled fondly too, watching his niece from a distance. Theirs had been a strained relationship for a long time… but it certainly wasn't that anymore. Azula had been deeply grateful upon hearing of what he'd done to help save her… how he had set aside Zuko, and privileged her safety instead. By now, their relationship was better than ever… and it would continue to be, Iroh knew, as long as he didn't interfere in her private moments with her beloved Water Tribe warrior.

"I, too, can barely wait to see the wonders you shall weave," Iroh spoke quietly, closing his eyes and turning his back on the Princess.

She would make an excellent Fire Lord, he was sure of that… but for now, he would let her enjoy her time with her closest friends, in a peaceful environment, with no heavy pressures weighing on her shoulders. After all the hardships she had endured, and the pain she had suffered through, he had no doubts she had earned these miraculous moments of peace. Yes, peace, no doubt, was the best word to describe the beautiful scene he had just witnessed at a distance in the palace's garden, and in his earnest opinion, no one deserved such blissful harmony quite as much as Azula did.

A/N:

While I have no doubts I've cemented myself a terrible reputation for all my Ursa portrayals, I do want to set clear that I didn't write this particular entry to villify her, despite that's what it'll look like to some... the truth is, the whole basis of this idea came from the very frequently debated AUs where Azula is the banished one, rather than Zuko. I pondered under which circumstances could Azula EVER wind up banished at a young age, as well as how the blazes she'd ever be banished with Iroh, who'd most likely not join her of his own volition, if his characterization is kept true to his canon self. Then the idea of turning someone else into the bigger bad came to mind, someone both Azula and Iroh would develop personal grudges against, to the point of setting aside their differences to work together.

This is, therefore, just a matter of exploring storytelling possibilities for me - as can be obvious by the fact that this is, by FAR, my most favorable portrayal of Iroh up to date. I usually don't write him this way, just as I usually don't see Ursa as a character remotely as dark as she was in this entry: all was done for the sake of exploring storytelling posibilities and nothing else. One day I might surprise by offering you all a favorable Ursa portrayal, for a change! :'D All this being said, it's fine if you don't enjoy Ursa as I portrayed her here, but I want to set the record straight, it wasn't done for the sake of making her appear a fundamentally worse person than Ozai or anyone else. Basically, this is an Ursa who decided to stop at nothing to keep her son safe. And while that sounds pretty in paper, it can also have a very dark meaning, and that's why things turned out this way.

Hope you enjoyed this story anyway!

[seokmattchuus]

Fuck Away The Pain - Hyungwon

A/n: I don’t even know what this is, ngl. It kinda sucks, but ya girl’s sad from an ex and I’m deep in my Hyungwon feels so this happened. Let it flop, idc, tbh. I just wanted to write it. Also, issa long one, sorry.

“Y/n..” - 10:47 pm

“I know this is uncalled for, but” - 10:47 pm

“I really miss you.” - 10:48 pm

“I really wanna see you. Can I come by later?” - 10:49 pm

“Can we try again?” - 10:50 pm

You stood there, staring at your phone, tears welling in your eyes as you shoved you phone into your pocket and quickly wiped at your eyes. Of course, your ex, Min, would pick the best timing to try to ‘fix’ things.

It was movie night at the Monsta X dorm. You’d never been, but your best friend, Hyungwon had invited you this time, knowing that you’d needed some kind of comfort while you went through your breakup. He figured inviting you over for a movie would be best since you weren’t the clubbing type.

And of course, Min had to ruin that too.

You were in the middle of scooping ice cream into bowls with Hyungwon to put in the freezer for later when your phone went off. 

You ignored it of course, thinking it was some spam calls since everyone knew you were busy tonight. But it wasn’t until when Hoseok, Jooheon, and Hyunwoo came back from the store with all the snacks that you checked it, not wanting the constant sound to bother anyone.

You excused yourself to the restroom so you could check your phone in private, but rolled your eyes when you saw that it was Min that called.

A good amount of times. 

When you hadn’t answered, he resorted to text messages, which led you to your current situation.

Crying against the sink in your best friend’s shared dorm.

It wasn’t really an “I missed you” kind of crying, but more of a “what fucking nerve do you have to message me this kind of shit” kind of crying.

Min had ended things just shy of a month ago. It wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming, you just refused to think about him wanting to break off your three year relationship. You just couldn’t, well, more like you didn’t, want to see it. 

Until you’re birthday came around and he hadn’t planed anything. 

It wasn’t that you wanted him to do anything big or extravagant, a simple acknowledgement would’ve sufficed. But no. He hadn’t texted or called at all throughout the day.

It wasn’t until later that night when you and your friends posed for a picture to post on your Instagram that he finally texted you.

“So you’re out with that guy again?”

Had it not been for your male friends, including Hyungwon, he probably wouldn’t have contacted you at all.

It was that moment that you realized everything was falling apart. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t love you. Not to mention that he spent that whole day with some girl from his workplace. Your friend being the one to tell you the day after your birthday, not wanting to kill your mood.

It was a week after that when he finally ended things. Claiming that you just weren’t good enough for him anymore. That he needed something new, more exciting. To be put simply, that he was just bored of you after being with you for so long.

You had no objections, nor arguments. There was no point. There was nothing in your relationship worth saving. You just went home and packed all the things he left at your house while he packed yours, traded off the next day, and that was that. He hadn’t contacted you since, and for him to finally text you after this whole time, what was he expecting? For you to jump at the opportunity? Welcome him back with open arms?

When you finally managed to get your feelings under control, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror, cringing at how puffy your eyes were. How were you supposed to go back out there? You’d already been in the restroom for a good while, if you stayed any longer-

“Y/n, you okay?” Your train of thought was cut off as Hyungwon knocked on the door.

You sniffled and cleared your throat. “Yeah! Be out in a minute.” You called out before rinsing off your face and drying it on the towel. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself.

When you walked out, Hyungwon was standing in front of the door, his hand out to stop you from walking past him.

“You’re not okay.” He stated. “You sniffled and your voice sounds like you were crying.”

“I’m fine, Hyungwon.” You sighed. “Min’s just being an asshole, that’s all.”

“What’d he say?” His tone changed.

“Basically that he misses me, and wants to come by later and try to work things out.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to ruin your movie night, but I don’t want to go home either. What am I supposed to do if he comes by?”

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll lend you some clothes.” He said nonchalantly.

“I could-” You started, but were cut off.

“Y/n. We’ve been friends since middle school.” He started. “This is nothing. I’ll sleep on the floor, or on the couch if you want me to. But I don’t want you going back to your place if he’s gonna show up. He doesn’t deserve a chance to even think about you after everything he’s done.”

“B-”

“No ‘but’s.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here, and that’s final. Now hurry up before they start the movie without us.” He smiled, pulling you into a big hug, his scent engulfing you.

You weren’t gonna lie, hugging him was more than comforting at this point, and you wanted nothing more than to stay like this, but sadly, you had to pull away.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He smiled, dropping his arms so you could both make your way back to the living room where Kihyun was setting a movie order while Minhyuk and Changkyun were setting up the living room to make it more comfy.

“And they didn’t go off to fuck, you owe me $15.” Hoseok laughed at Hyunwoo.

“Cut it out.” Hyungwon glared. “Even if we did, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it around you dumbasses.”

You felt the heat rise to cheeks. Sure, Hyungwon was attractive, but you’d never thought of him like that.

Or at least that you wanted to acknowledge.

“Okay!” Kihyun clapped from his spot. “I finally have an order.” He said happily. “Now let’s move everything to the coffee table so we can start.”

-

After everything was situated, you, Hyungwon and Minhyuk sat on the couch with you in the middle. Hyunwoo and Jooheon took the recliners, and the rest made themselves comfortable on the floor.

You were halfway into the movie when Minhyuk moved from his spot beside you to go to the restroom, causing you to lean a little too close into Hyungwon’s side in an effort to get comfortable. Which also caused him to shift a little, you brushing it off as him trying to adjust.

-

After the first movie, Changkyun had asked Jooheon and Hyunwoo to help him get the ice cream.

“Do you feel any better?” Hyungwon leaned down to whisper.

“Kinda?” You whispered back. “I just can’t get him out of my mind.” You shrugged. 

“Give me your phone.” He said, pulling away from you and holding his hand out. 

“Why?” 

“Just give it to me.” He smiled.

You were hesitant, but reached into your pocket, and gave it to him nonetheless.

“I’ll take care of it later, I promise.” He smiled down at you as the guys came back with bowls of ice cream.

-

“Kihyun…” Hoseok whispered, poking the boy with his foot lightly, laughing as he tipped over. “Are you seriously asleep right now?”

“Bro, we did just watch like, four movies in a row.” Changkyun yawned. “Hyunwoo and Minhyuk fell asleep too. Let’s just call it a night.”

“But we still have one more to watch.” Hoseok pouted.

“Well you can watch it yourself.” Hyungwon stated, stretching as he got off the couch, helping you up. “Y/n’s spending the night by the way.”

“Hmmm.” Hoseok wiggled his brows, earning a pillow thrown at him.

“Like I said before, cut it out.” He said flatly. “Next time it won’t be a pillow.” Hyungwon threatened before walking to his room.

“Night guys.” You whispered before following Hyungwon to his room, where he pulled out some boxers and a long flannel, holding them out to you.

“You can go change in the restroom if you want.” He smiled softly.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here?” You shied away from his offer.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He said while shoving you towards the bathroom. “Now go change.” He said, dropping the clothes into your hands.

With a huff, you did as you were told, and changed into the long flannel that smelled like Hyungwon’s favorite cologne, and slipped into the boxers. After changing, and folding your clothes, you looked in the mirror, feeling slightly unsure of yourself.

It wasn’t like this was new. You and Hyungwon weren’t strangers. You had plenty of movie nights throughout high school where he let you wear his hoodies for comfort.

You’d always been close so this was nothing out of the ordinary for you. But something just felt different, and you couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe it was the way his members seemed to keep pushing the thought of you two. Or maybe since you were still upset over Min, staying with Hyungwon seemed different. 

Maybe because you weren’t in high school anymore.

Maybe because it wasn’t just his hoodie this time.

“You’re just a mess right now, y/n. It’s nothing.” You whispered to yourself, shaking your head while you ran a stressed hand through your hair before walking out of the restroom and back to Hyungwon’s room, deciding to lighten the mood, you struck a pose at his doorway.

“How do I look?” You quirked a brow, and Hyungwon’s eyes raked over your frame, and lingered a little too long on your exposed legs before meeting your eyes with a smile.

“Like a model.” He laughed, and pulled out your phone. “Should we do a photo shoot to make it real?”

“Wow, Mr. Model wants to give me a photo shoot?” You wiped a fake tear. “I feel honored.” You smiled. “But I can’t pose for shit.”

“Just do what you were just doing.” He said, holding your phone dramatically, while positioning himself on the floor, waiting for you to pose, snapping the picture once you did. “Not so bad, Miss. Newbie.” He smiled, getting up and showing you the picture. “How about you smile, though?” He suggested.

“I was smiling though.” You pouted.

“You need to smile bigger. Like you’re laughing.” He mocked your pout as he positioned the camera again. “Hurry up, my arm’s getting tired.” He laughed.

-

You took a total of ten pictures, all directed by Hyungwon and in all honesty, as you both sat on the floor looking through them, they weren’t that bad.

“I like this one the most.” You pointed to the one that had you pouting at the lens.

“Well, I like this one the most.” He pointed to the one with you smiling while your head rested on your arm.

“Well,” You started. “Thank you for the photo shoot, Mr. Chae.” You laughed. “It made me feel better.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He smiled back at you. “It’s getting late, you should probably sleep.” He said, getting up. “I still haven’t changed, so let me grab my clothes and I’ll be out of your way.” He smiled, going to his drawers and pulling out a pair of pajama pants and making his way out to change.

“Hyungwon,” You called out before he left the room fully. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, or the floor. I can instead.” You offered, getting up.

“You know I won’t let you.” He said softly.

“But I feel bad. It’s your bed, after all.” You shrugged.

“Then we can just share it?” He questioned, looking over at you.

“I guess we could.” You avoided his gaze, looking down at the bed, and back at him.

“Guess I need a shirt then.” He said, walking towards his closet and grabbing a shirt.

“You don’t sleep with a shirt on?” You quirked a brow at him.

“Not really. It’s uncomfortable.” He shrugged, walking out to go change.

You sighed and sat on the bed, moving the covers to the side so you could make a spot for yourself and tracing random nothing’s onto his comforter.

Maybe things were different this time. Here you were, after a breakup, laying in your best friend’s bed, wearing his clothes, while you were about to sleep in his bed.

“Comfortable?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah.” You looked up at him. “Your blanket’s really soft.” You mumbled softly.

“That’s why I bought it.” He laughed at your statement before pulling the cover up and sliding under, too. 

“I know you need music to sleep, so is there anything you wanna hear?” He said, pulling your phone out, looking through your playlist.

“Why don’t you sing for me?” You asked. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice.”

A hint of red tinted his cheeks at the statement and you smiled.

“You know your voice is my favorite.” You moved so your head laid on the back of your hands and you looked at him.

“Don’t look at me.” He smirked. “It makes me shy.”

“Mr. Model gets shy?” You quirked a brow. “Interesting.” You smiled before closing your eyes. “I’m still gonna face this way, though.”

“Stubborn little thing.” He chuckled before clearing his throat. “Any recommendations?” He whispered. 

“Surprise me.” You smiled.

“Why can’t you just make things easy for me for once?” He laughed lightly. “Hmm. What kind of genre?”

“Surprise~” You whined.

“Do you know how many songs there are?” He looked at you, though you couldn’t see him. “You just love making things hard for me.” He grumbled before clearing his throat again before singing Dreamer. 

-

“Did you really fall asleep?” He whispered after singing the song. “You were probably tired.” He sighed, grabbing your phone and connecting it to his charger, an idea popping into his head.

He scooted closer to you and held your camera above the both of you so it looked like you were cuddling into him, took the picture, then scooted back to his initial spot and looked at you again before confirming his plan.

He opened your messages and found Min’s, typing a quick message and attaching the picture of you sleeping, not even hesitating to hit send before leaving your phone on his bedside counter to charge, not bothering to check the vibrate signaling Min’s response.

-

You woke up feeling warm. Too warm. When you tried to move, you realized your arm was wrapped around something and you opened your eyes in realization of your current position. Looking up at Hyungwon’s still sleeping form, your arms wrapped around his waist, and your head on his chest.

You mentally cursed yourself as you slowly let him go and face palmed. Of all the damn nights for you to want to cuddle.

“It’s too early.” Hyungwon grumbled, his voice raspy. “Stay in bed.”

“Were you awake this whole time?” You looked at him with eyes wide.

“No. I woke up when you moved your head.” He mumbled. “The warmth was nice.”

“What time is it?” You said, ignoring his statement.

He grabbed your phone. “5:58 AM.” He whined. “Let’s just go back to sleep.” He rolled towards you, arms open.

“You’re such a baby when you’re tired.” You tsked. “We’re not cuddling again. We weren’t supposed to anyways.”

“You’re the one that woke me up. Take responsibility.” He yawned out, with grabby hands. “If you don’t come willingly, I’m gonna pull you in.”

“You wouldn-” You were cut off by Hyungwon grabbing your wrist and pulling you back into him, his arms wrapping around your waist. 

“Shut up and sleep.” He grumbled. “Hyunwoo’s alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours and if you wake up before then, we’re gonna fight.”

You didn’t bother fighting him and relaxed into his hold. It wasn’t all that bad. The way his body covered yours and the way he held you made you feel safe and warm.

Made you feel comfortable.

-

You don’t know when you fell back asleep, but you woke up to Hyungwon shaking you lightly.

“C’mon.” He whispered. “Now, it’s time to get up.” He chuckled.

You sat up and stretched. “Do I really have to get up?”

“I was gonna take you home so you could get some clean clothes, then maybe come back.” He started. “But if you’re down to stay dressed like that the whole day.” He shrugged.

“No, going to get clothes sounds nice.” You piped up. “Why would we come back here though?”

“Is it such a shame to want you to make friends with my group mates?”

“Good point.” You stated, getting up and picking up your clothes from yesterday.

“I’ll leave, you can change in here.” He stopped you, making his way past you. “It’s windy out.” He smiled. “So keep the flannel on.” He said as he walked out.

-

The ride back to your place was a comfortable silence and that’s when you noticed your phone’s bluetooth didn’t connect to his car.

“Won, where’s my phone?”

“I charged it for you, so if you didn’t get it, it’s probably still on my counter.” He said calmly.

“We’re going back anyways.” You said as he pulled up to your place.

“You go freshen up. I’ll just chill in the kitchen and steal snacks.” He smiled as he put the car in a park and got out.

“Sounds like a plan.” You laughed as you made your way to the door, unlocking it.

“Just don’t take a long ass shower.” He tsked. “Or I might end up eating all your snacks out of boredom like last time.” 

“Don’t remind me.” You glared at the memory. “God forbid I leave you alone for more than thirty minutes.” You kept your glare as you placed your keys on the kitchen counter. 

“Just some food for thought.” He chuckled as he opened your cabinet, looking for something.

"Just don’t eat everything.” You groaned and made your way to your room. “I really don’t feel like going shopping just because you can’t control yourself.” Your voice faded the longer you walked and you barely heard Hyungwon’s noise of agreement.

You didn’t really pay much attention to the clothes you picked out, thinking of just grabbing some leggings and keeping Hyungwon’s flannel as your top. Given that it wasn’t too baggy, but not too tight, you figured it had that ‘at home’ look, which was perfect because you didn’t wanna look like you were trying too hard to come up with an outfit.

You reached for your speaker on instinct, but put it down once you remembered you didn’t have your phone and grumbled to yourself, grabbing your towel and heading towards your restroom.

-

“Well that was fast.” Hyungwon spoke with a mouth full of Pringles.

“Let’s just say I miss my phone.” You smiled, rolling his shirt sleeves up, along with your hair.

“You still wearing my shirt.” He smirked.

“It’s comfy.” You shrugged, sitting across from him. “And it smells nice.” You added, reaching for a chip. 

“You always did like my cologne.” He smirked to himself. “I guess I make good choices.”

“You picked one good cologne, don’t get cocky.” You glared, pointing your chip at him, him sticking his tongue back at you in return.

“Are you sure you really wanna meet the guys?” He cocked a brow at you while he chewed his chip. “They might be too much to handle.”

“You’re too much to handle and I do just fine.” You stated matter-of-factly.

“Okay but now like, there’s six more of me.”

“You started it by inviting me over for movies. Plus it was your idea.” You smiled.

“Good point, but you didn’t have to agree.” He pointed his chip at you before eating it. “But let’s go after we eat.”

-

Hyungwon’s definition of ‘after we eat’ ended up being ‘after we eat and watch a movie or two.’ So by the time you were getting ready to leave, it was about to be 2 pm.

“What happened to ‘after we eat.’” You laughed as you both made your way to the door.

“You can’t just eat and not watch something.” He looked at you like you were clueless.

“You couldn’t just pick a show?”

“Movies are better.” He held his chin high as he opened the door for you, locking it from the inside. “You’re just mad ‘cause I’m keeping you from going back to the dorms.”

“I am not!” You yelled. 

“You totally are.” He glared. “Why? Do you like any of them?” He quirked a brow at you, his tone changing as he closed the door.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” You shrugged, opening the door to the drivers side.

“It’s Hoseok, isn’t it? Or Hyunwoo?” He tsked. “It’s always one of them.” He mumbled, opening the car door and getting in.

“And if I said I did?” You teased, stepping into the passenger. 

“I’d ban you from going back.” He glared. “They can’t just steal my friend from me.”

“Why can’t I be everyone’s friend?” You quirked your own brow at him.

“The world doesn’t work that way, my clueless little y/n.” He ruffled your hair as he started the car.

“You’re just paranoid that they’ll steal me away.” You glared. 

“And if I am?” He didn’t hesitate to answer.

“It’ll take a lot more than a pretty face to ruin our friendship.” You smiled, ruffling his hair now. “Why do you think Min hated you so much?” You chuckled, only to have it die down soon after. “I guess your ‘idol’ title made you different from the rest of my friends.” You shrugged, shoving the memories of past arguments to the back of your head.

“Look. I know I caused a lot of problems for you tw-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “He left because I wasn’t good enough. Let’s just go now.” You spoke quickly, watching as he put the car in ‘drive’.

“He really made you believe that?” He spoke up, his voice soft.

You didn’t answer.

“It’s bullshit, you know.” He spoke louder this time. “Anyone would be lucky enough to have you. Just because he left doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough.”

And that was all he said.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, both of you not feeling the need to say anything else, at least not until you were heading up to the dorms again.

“If you flirt with any of them, I might just kick you out.” He threatened as you reached his hall.

“You could never.” You smiled as you poked his side. “You love me too much.” 

You only got a glare in response as he punched in the code to the door, nearly shutting it in your face as payback for your little statement, but you couldn’t complain now that you were back at the dorms.

“She’s back!” Minhyuk yelled from the couch, running over to you.

“We thought he wouldn’t bring you back.” Kihyun chuckled, watching as Hyungwon glared at Minhyuk, who’s hug was lasting a little longer than it should.

“Dude, let her go. She didn’t come to get squished.” Hyungwon grumbled.

“And now he’ll probably never let her come back.” Changkyun laughed while nudging Kihyun.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Hyungwon fake laughed. “She wouldn’t even be back here if she didn’t forget her phone.

“So that’s what was going off all day.” Hyunwoo chimed in. “I wasn’t trying to snoop, but it seemed important with how much they kept texting. I think it was a Min?”

“Oh, that’s not important.” You trailed off. “Probably ju-”

“Did you guys order the pizza, yet?” Hyungwon cut you off, trying to change the subject. “And did you get the side of wings?” 

“Yeah, Hoseok and Jooheon went to go get it.” Hyunwoo said. “But you’ve never wanted wings before. What changed?”

“They aren’t for me, they’re for y/n.” Hyungwon said casually, the rest of the guys raising their eyebrows at each other.

“Since when are you so considerate?” Minhyuk spoke out.

“I’m considerate to people.” He stated calmly, before forcing a smile. “Just not you.”

“Rude.” The older pouted, before his phone chimed. “Oh, food’s here!”

-

The day had gone smoother than you thought. You had eaten, watched some shows, played dumb games on the living room floor, and now you were cleaning up.

“It’s late, we should get you home.” Hyungwon spoke up after finishing the dishes.

“Shit, what time is it?” You looked up at him.

“Your phone’s still in my room isn’t it?” He raised a brow.

“Well we were busy, I didn’t really need it.” You shrugged.

He did nothing but sigh and ruffle your hair before leaving to his room to retrieve the device.

By the time he reached the phone, it had just stopped vibrating, and he checked it to see if it was important.

“Min? Again?” He groaned, pressing the home button so he could see how many times he called. “Thirty times?” He scoffed, letting the screen timeout on it’s own. “Does he have nothing better to do?”

“I suggest you hurry up before Minhyuk hides her away.” Changkyun warned, leaving Hyungwon to shove your phone in his pocket, and head back out.

“But make sure you come back. Even if you have to hide it.” Minhyuk whispered the last part.

“The point of whispering is to not be heard.” Hyungwon mimicked Minhyuk, causing you to giggle.

“Let’s go, you grumpy log.” You laughed. “It’s getting late, I don’t want you coming back late.”

-

The drive home was spent with you talking about how much you enjoyed your time guys being even more great - and stupid - than you thought they’d be in person.

“Well, at least you enjoyed your day.” Hyungwon smiled towards you. “You deserve to have better days now that he’s gone.”

“Speaking of,” You piped up. “What do you think he wanted?” 

“Who knows.” He shrugged. “You didn’t check?” He asked, pulling into your driveway, and looking over to you.

“I’m kinda scared to know.” You admitted, unbuckling your seat belt. “I mean, I cried at the ‘let’s try again’ texts, so who’s to say I won’t cry over whatever he’s saying now?”

“Do you want me to read them instead?” He offered, unbuckling his own seat belt.

“As long as you don’t say anything dumb.” You glared, handing him your phone.

“No promises.” He smiled, snatching the phone from you, and unlocking it. “Messagesssss.” He dragged out as he pushed the little emoticon. “Miiinnn.” He repeated as he looked for the man’s contact, tapping on it once it came in sight. “Last message was sometime around…” He trailed off as he scrolled up, turning the phone slightly as the picture he took came into view.

“Why? Is it bad?” You whined at the action.

“No, I just don’t want you to read anything and get upset.” He mumbled. “How about you go in and get ready? I’ll be in when I’m done.” He smiled softly at your frowning face. “You can even order food? And use my card?” He offered, to which you smiled and nodded. “All it takes is food. You’re so easy.” He fake tsked, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Just make sure you order something for me, too.” He laughed, waiting for you to walk inside before turning his attention back to your phone.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” - 2:07 am

“Why aren’t you answering?” - 2:08 am

“I know you’re getting my messages.” - 2:10 am

“Is it because he’s with you? You’re just gonna replace me like that? With a fucking pretty boy?” - 2:12 am

“And now you’re not gonna respond? You obviously sent that picture for a reason.” - 2:13 am

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m stopping by tomorrow night.” - 2:16 am

Hyungwon scoffed at the messages before deleting them, along with the picture, and throwing the phone in his lap.

What the hell was his problem? Was he really that jealous over you staying at the dorm when he wasn’t even your boyfriend anymore?

The nerve.

Sighing again, he turned the car off and got out, angrily shoving your phone in his pocket before going inside.

“The delivery guy said twenty minutes tops, so it shouldn’t be too long.” You smiled at him.

“All you care about is food, huh?” He joked.

“Well maybe if you didn’t eat all my food all the time, I wouldn’t care so much.” You glared.

-

After eating - and cleaning up - you had suggested watching something scary, more for background noise than entertainment.

“So..” You trailed off. “Was it bad?” You bit your lip.

“Now you ask?” He chuckled, taking a sip of his Monster. “But no, it wasn’t bad. Just obsessive?” He questioned, trying to think of the right word. “Just stuff like ‘oh, you’re not gonna respond?’, and ‘you’re just gonna replace me like that’.” He mocked in a dumb voice.

“Why are guys like that?” You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the couch.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows. 

“All ‘I don’t want you, but don’t date anyone else.’“ You mocked in a deep voice.

“Who are you dating?” He coughed as he choked on his sip.

“No one, but you know what I mean.” You glared. 

“Well obviously I didn’t.” He coughed some more. “Word yourself better next time and we wouldn’t have a problem.” He grumbled.

“I’ve literally been crying to you about how guys suck. Why would I date another one right now?” You deadpanned. 

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole ‘get over someone by using someone else’ thing.” He mumbled. 

“On another note.” You sighed, ignoring his statement. “You’re a guy, do you know why guys do this shit?”

“I’m not a shitty guy, or at least I don’t think, so I have no idea.” He paused, putting the can to his lips and throwing his head back, finishing it. “But I can fight him for you if you want.” He smirked.

“I appreciate the offer, but the last thing you need is to catch a case.” You laughed lightly. 

“Who said I’d get caught?” He raised a brow.

“Okay feisty one, I’m gonna go throw away the trash which you said you would do.” You giggled, as you got up.

“I was gonna do it after I finished my drink.” He defended himself as you walked away to pick up the trash bag. “Which I just did.”

“Well I already got up, so you’re too late.” You smiled, walking back and taking his empty can, throwing it in the bag before tying it closed. “I’ll be back.” You said, slipping on some sandals before going out, mentally cursing as you realized you left the trashcans on the curb from yesterday.

“If I wasn’t kidnapped, I’d totally not have to walk all the way to the curb.” You grumbled to yourself, as you reached them. “I should’ve just let Hyungwon do it.” You continued to grumble as you lifted the lid.

“So you’re with him now?” You heard a familiar voice speak out from the side, and you froze, the lid falling with a loud thud. “Are you not gonna answer?” He spoke louder this time, slightly slurred.

“No.” You spoke softly, not trying to cause a scene. “But it’s not like it matters to you.” You said coldly, watching as Min laugh sarcastically.

“I just wanna know how long it’s been going on.” He hiccuped. “Since we broke up? Since your birthday? Before then?” He got louder the more he spoke, walking closer.

“You’re drunk.” You swallowed thickly while backing away, slightly scared since you knew this side of him.

“And? Answer my question.” He said, stopping slightly as he realized you were pressed against the trashcan.

“I told you we weren’t together.” You repeated louder this time, hoping Hyungwon would hear.

“Don’t bullshit me, y/n.” He chuckled, raising his voice even more. “We both know you had feelings for him.”

“Whether I did or not doesn’t-”

“Yes it fucking does.” He scoffed, taking a step forward, causing you to push against the trashcan, your face instinctively turning to the side in an attempt to block yourself. 

“If your problem’s with me, then leave her alone.” Hyungwon spoke out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him. “Go inside.” He said sternly, to which you shook your head, and before he could respond, Min spoke up again.

“Oh, so you got him protecting you now? That’s fucking rich.” He laughed again, stepping towards Hyungwon, who only pushed you back. His position staying. “We all knew you’d end up with him anyways.” He spoke bitterly, looking up at the man.

“Like I said.” Hyungwon’s voice threatening as he stepped forward. “If your problem’s with me, leave her out of it.” He glared. 

“How do you know my problem’s with you?” Min laughed.

“My name was in almost every message you sent.” Hyungwon scoffed. “If anyone else read them, they’d think you’re jealous of her, not me.” He took another step. “And you came to her house to ask if me and her were together. It sounds like my presence pisses you off.” He smirked.

Min scoffed before balling his fist.

“I suggest you leave.” Hyungwon spoke up again, his tone holding something you hadn’t heard from him before as he took more steps to back Min into the sidewalk. “If you wanna fight, I suggest you be sober first. Wouldn’t want you making up excuses for losing to a ‘pretty boy’ like me.” He said, pressing a finger to Min’s shoulder and pushing him into the street before turning around and pushing you back towards the door.

“I told you to go inside.” He nearly yelled as he shut the door. “What if something happened? What if he had something? What if I wasn’t here?” He scolded, too lost in his concern to realize you were tearing up.

“What would you would’ve done if-” He stopped talking the second he saw a tear fall and immediately pulled you into his chest. 

It was quiet for a while, neither of you saying anything, or more like him not knowing what to say.

Of course he’d fuck up by yelling at you after everything that’s happened.

Of course he’d snap at you even though none of this was your fault.

Of course he’d let his feelings get the best of him.

“I’m sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have.” He sighed picking his hand up to run it down your hair. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ve never seen you so mad before..” You sniffled, remembering how he sounded, how he got in Min’s face. It wasn’t like him.

“I never planned for you to see me that mad.” He chuckled. “I let my feelings get the best of me. I shouldn’t have acted out like that.”

“What feelings?” You questioned, and he looked down at you in disbelief. His whole face basically saying ‘do you really not know?’

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

“I may have a hint..” You paused. “But I just want you to hear you say it.”

“You really strung me along, huh?” He laughed lightly, looking back up. “Do you know how hard it was to not act on it?”

You looked up at him and chewed your lip in contemplation of whether or not to say what you wanted to. But he already said it, so why couldn’t you?

“No one said you couldn’t act on it.” You bit your lip as he looked down at you. 

“Say that again.” His response was immediate but his tone was different. 

“I said,” You paused, your eyes staring into his. “No one said you couldn-” You were cut off from him pressing his lips to yours, the force strong enough to push your head back, but his hold on you strong enough to keep you in place.

Knowing where to move, he backed you into the couch, turning you both around so he could sit and bring you down on top of him.

His hands never left your hips and when they finally did, they moved up to wrap around the back of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer into him while the other hand ran up and down your thigh, squeezing every now and then.

Never did either of you think this would happen. That one of you would finally take that step and remove whatever block was in the way.

But that block only stayed gone for a minute as Hyungwon pulled away, panting and searching your eyes for anything and you could tell he was stopping himself.

“Please, Hyungwon..” You panted, your hands coming up to cup his face. “Don’t stop here.” You whispered, hoping he’d see the sincerity in your eyes.

And though he did, it wasn’t enough for him.

“No, y/n. As much as I’ve wanted to do this, you’re only doing this out of vulnerability. Not because you want me.” He shook his head, trying to get your hands off of him, causing you to tighten your grip.

“But I do want you.” You spoke softly. “I’ve always wanted you…” You trailed off. “I just never thought you’d want me, and Min came along and fucked up my whole mentality on everything.” You took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t tell you to act on your feelings if I didn’t want to act on mine.”

He was quiet, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, his hand on the back of your neck rubbing softly while the one that was on your thigh squeezing hard at the mention of him. 

So contradicting.

“This wasn’t how I pictured this happening.” He chuckled bitterly. “But I guess timing doesn’t care for trivial things.”

“Please,” You looked at him, your voice breaking. “I want you for you. Not because I’m sad, but because it’s always been you.” 

He didn’t reply verbally this time, opting to press his lips back against yours, but softer this time, and you pulled back.

“You’re holding back, Hyungwon.” You whispered. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered back. “I came on way too rough the first time.” He laughed.

“Be rough with me, please.” You started. “I want to get lost in you. I only want you on my mind.”

“Of all the things I imagined you saying, that was never one of them.” He chuckled. “Are you sure?” He said, scanning your eyes for any hint of denial.

Instead of speaking up, you nodded your head, but it wasn’t enough for him. 

“Words. I need to hear you say it.”  

“Yes.” You spoke up. “Help me forget him.“

As if a switch flipped, the Hyungwon you had before was back and he was on you as if you’d disappear at any given moment. 

You thought about what he said earlier, the whole ‘using someone to forget someone else’ and now weren’t sure if ‘forget’ was the right word to use, but if wasn’t, you were pretty sure he’d have stopped. 

Maybe he said it because he wanted to be the one to help you forget someone.

Either way, you were reveling in the way his lips moved from yours to trail down your neck, randomly biting while his hands moved down to your thighs, occasionally moving up to play with the hem of your leggings.

“Fuck, Hyungwon.” Your hips rolled against his as he bit a specific spot and he smirked before biting down again, harder this time. 

“Do you know how bad I wanted to do this last night and all damn day?” He rasped out between kisses, sucking a hickey above your collarbone. “Seeing you walk around in my shirt like that.” He whispered before going to the other side of your neck. “God, you look so good.” He growled, roughly sucking hickies onto your skin.

“I wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless while you wore that damn shirt,” He whispered, his hands rubbing closer to where you wanted him. “Have you screaming my name and letting everyone know who’s really meant for you.” He growled as his fingers rubbed you over your leggings. “I bet you would’ve loved it, huh, babygirl.” He whispered in your ear before nibbling on your lobe.

“Yes, fuck.” You threw your head to the side, bucking your hips into his hand, while his other came around to grab your throat, squeezing harder every time he spoke.

“Have you beg for me to touch you.” He whispered, his hand slipping under your leggings to rub you over your panties. smirking at the wet spot he felt. ”Beg for me to fuck you.” He whispered before rubbing harder. “Beg for me to let you cum.” 

“Fuck, Hyungwon, yes.“ You whined out, your hips trying to press against his fingers for something. Anything. 

But he pulled away with a smug smirk instead. 

“Then get up.”

“Wha-” 

“I said,” He tilted his head. “Get. Up.”

“Hyungw-”

“Get up now, or I’m not touching you again.” He deadpanned, and out of fear he meant it, you got up and stood in front of him. “Sit here instead.” He smiled, moving you over his thigh and you stared at him confused.

“What, baby? Never ridden a thigh before?” He smirked as you blushed. “I’ll help you then.” He smiled, leading you over his leg and letting you get used to the feeling, smirking as your eyes closed from the pressure.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” He spoke up, his voice lower as he flexed his thigh, smirking as you moaned out, your hips moving against him on their own accord. 

“I want more, please.” You whined, rutting against him. 

“Where would the fun in that be?” He cocked a brow, flexing his thigh again.

“Please, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me next time, I just really really really need you right now.” Your voice came out pathetic, but you really couldn’t find it in you to care.

“Be careful what you say, baby.” He teased, getting up abruptly and turning you around so you fell into the couch, leaving you to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Because next time, I might be more than you can handle.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he knelt in front you, his hands grabbing at the hem of your leggings before pulling them off, you lifting your hips to help him.

“Hyungwon please-” You choked out. “I can’t-” You were cut off with a smack to your thigh.

“You can.” He started, staring up at you while he kissed your thigh, making a trail up. “And you will.”

You didn’t respond, instead starting to squirm from anticipation, your hand grabbing at his hair in hopes of getting him to get up, but your plan was ruined as he pulled away.

“Hands.” He said simply holding out his hand.

You shook your head and he reached for your both of your hands, putting your wrists in one hand before continuing his teasing.

“Hyungw-” You were cut off as he bit your thigh, the surprise sting making you jolt.

“Let me have my fun.” Was all he said before kissing higher, switching between the top of your thigh to the inside. 

“Don’t you want me right here?” He asked softly, looking up at you with puppy eyes. “You said you wanted more, and that’s what I’m giving you.”

You had no words, knowing full well you wouldn’t be getting out of this, and you relaxed against the cough in frustration.

“Be a good girl and just enjoy yourself.” He whispered before licking a strip up your clothed slit.

“Oh-Oh my god.” You whimpered, your hips bucking into his face. “Why do you tease so much.” You whined, your arms trying to fight against his grip, only to have it tightened.

“You said you wanted to get lost in me.” He mumbled before licking over you again. “That you wanted me to be the only thing on your mind.” He mumbled, pressing his mouth harder against you. “I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.” 

At this point, you felt like crying. Of all the times he chose to listen to you, it was the time when all you wanted was for him to finally touch you. 

“I’ll beg, just please. I can’t anymore.” You whined, your hips wiggling as you squirmed. 

“Then let me hear it.” He suggested. “Beg for it.” He teased before going back to licking at your clothed slit.

“Fuck~” You whined. “Please fuck me, touch me, anything. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll call you whatever you want, I promise I’ll be a good girl for you, just please, for fucks sake, do something.” You whined out, your hands fighting in vain against his hold.

“You sound so pretty when you beg, baby.” He groaned, getting off his knees and helping you up so you were standing in front of him, his hands coming up to the buttons of his flannel, pausing when you tensed up. “It’s okay.” He looked at you. “I’m right here.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours again, softer this time while he worked on the buttons, letting the garment fall to the floor before pulling away. 

“So beautiful.” He whispered to himself, bending his head down to take your nipple into his mouth while his hand gave the other attention. “I can’t wait to cover you in my marks one day.” He smiled, dropping to his knees while he kissed down your torso, his hands following by running down your sides, stopping at the hem of your panties before slowly pulling them down and letting them fall so you could step out of them.

“I’m gonna take care of you.” Was all he said before shoving his head into you, his tongue lapping at you like you’d be his last meal.

“Hyungwon-” Your knees buckled, but his hands came up to grasp your thighs, keeping you up while your hands attached themselves to his hair.

You let him have his way until you felt yourself about to cum, the teasing finally catching up to you.

“Hyungwon- I- fuck-” You whimpered as your thighs shook. 

He got the point and got up, only to bend you over the armrest of the couch, your new angle giving him the perfect view of your ass.

“Fuck, I’ve always thought about this.” He groaned, working at his pants. “Making you feel so good, you can’t help but scream.” He said, dropping his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side before grabbing himself and running it up and down your slit. “I wonder how many times you’ve thought about it.” He smirked to himself.

“Please~” You whined, pushing yourself back onto him.

“So needy for me.” He licked his lips as he slid his tip in, reveling in the small moans you let out as he slowly slid in, not giving you time to adjust before pulling out and slamming back into you. “I wonder just how needy you’ve been.”

“So much.” You whined, clenching around him, smiling softly when he hissed.

“Such a naughty girl you’ve been, y/n.” He tsked, his hands moving to hold your hips, stroking slowly. “Keeping your thoughts all to yourself.” He groaned, trying his hardest not to ruin you completely.

“Hyungwon, faster.” You panted, your hands balling into fists by your head.

“What’s the rush, baby?” He teased, leaning over to press a kiss against your shoulder, his strokes speeding up just a bit. “Don’t you wanna enjoy yourself?”

“I want you to ruin me.” You let out in a broken whimper. “Fuck me so hard I’m crying. So hard I don’t know what to do with myself. So hard I have no choice but to take it. So hard I’m forced to just lay here and moan.” You nearly cried. “So hard that your name is the only word I know.”

Your plea seemed to do the trick as you heard him laugh lightly before biting down on your shoulder and speeding up on his thrusts, the pace nearly brutal compared to what he was giving you before.

You had no words, the only thing running through your mind was Hyungwon and how good he was making you feel.

You guess he seemed to notice this as he spoke up again.

“Like this, baby?” He questioned with a pant. “You’re so quiet now.” He smirked to himself. “Let me hear you.”

Your response consisted of a mix of gasps and whimpers, not being able to think straight.

He seemed satisfied given that he didn’t ask again and he gripped your hips harder, holding you in place while he used his full force to fuck into you.

So forceful you’d almost assume he hated you or that he was trying to prove a point.

And maybe he was.

Trying to prove that it should’ve been him this whole time. Him kissing you. Him loving you. Him fucking you.

And the closer he brought you to your orgasm, the more you thought it should’ve been him, too. Especially when his hand came around to rub harsh circles on your clit, your thighs shaking from how close you were.

“Don’t even try holding it.” He growled. “None of that cumming together bullshit.” He panted. “Cum for me. Cum all over me.” He coaxed you, his voice sweet compared to his current actions.

“Hyungwon, I-I- Fuck!” You were cut off by him rubbing harsher circles against you, giving you no choice but to accept it, your thighs giving out as you came.

“That’s it, baby.” He smiled down at your fucked out form, slowing down so you could ride it out before speeding up again, chasing his own orgasm, smirking when you whimpered. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Can’t take a bit of over stimulation?” 

[v-irgogh]

Answer all of them 😇 1 to 85

 e__________________e

thank u for aiding me in my procrastination endeavors

1. Are looks ever important in a relationship?

To an extent, yeah.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

what a dumb question . duh . 

3. Are you a virgin?

sure would be awkward if i said yes, wouldn’t it? ;))

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeeeee

5. Are you in love?

Very much so

6. Are you single this year?

No !! I still can’t quite believe it

7. Can you commit to one person?

yeh

8.Describe your crush.

A ginger nerd :////////

9. Describe your perfect mate.

10. Done

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes pls

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

To an extent ??

13. Do you get jealous easily?

not to psychotic levels (i hope) but occasionally yeah

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

yeah sorry u had to find out like this ://

15. Do you have any piercings?

just my earlobes :((

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no :((((((((

17. Done

I’d never noticed it jumps from 17 right to 20 but yeah that’s done

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Well fuck I hope so

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

When are you not tbh xoxo

23. Do you think you can last 6 months in a relationship and not cheat?

Obviously

24. Do you think you’ll be married in five years?

I doubt it

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

yes pls don’t leave me

26. Has anyone ever told you they don’t want to lose you?

ye :^)

27. Has anyone ever written a song or poem for you?

Ye

28. Done

29. Done

30. Done

31. Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

Yeah lmao

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

I mean .. I’ve had unreciprocated crushes but it was hardly that dramatic

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yes

34. Done

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yeah

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Haha hello xo (but yeah I’ve made a terrible habit out of that over the years lmao ,,, glad this time it worked out)

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yeah lol that was a bad time

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Probably

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

I guess??

40. Done

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yeee

42. How long can you kiss before your hands start to wander?

Probably not very long lmao

43. Done

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2 boyfriends

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/13?

None lmao

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Zero . unbelievable . 

47. How old are you?

20

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I’m not sure tbh…. like I want you to be happy so if you decided you wanted to be with someone else I could be like “okay cool i wish you all the best then sorry i wasted your time” . or I could get super petty and indirect you on social media for the rest of ur life . either way I’d be pretty devastated ngl

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favourite thing about him/her?

It’s really hard to choose a favourite thing about a person when you love everything about them. Maybe your voice. It’s really comforting.

50. Done

51. Is there a boy/girl you would do anything for?

Within reason I mean ://

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

I’ve given up on most of humanity lmao we’re one fucked up species

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I don’t wanna say yes but . they make it hard to think otherwise sometimes lmao

54. Is there someone you’ll never forget?

I tend not to forget people in general but yeah there’s definitely some specific people

55. Done

56. Done

57. Things you want to say to an ex?

Thanks for being cool sometimes

Thinking about the fact that we dated makes me feel a bit weird now

See u never xo

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Literally just be nice to me

2. Don’t judge me for my love of pineapple on pizza xo

3. ?????

59. What do you look like? (post a picture)

i could post a more flattering photo ,,, but that’s not what i truly look like ,,,, i can’t keep lying to u all,, my ugly snaps are far more true-to-life xo

60. Done

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their eyebrows tbqh

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Never abandon me xo

63. What is your definition of having sex?

Being physically intimate with someone in some way ? With sexual intentions ?

64. Done

65. Done

66. What is your favourite roleplay routine?

I don’t have one but I know how important this information is to all the strangers who follow me so I’ll keep u guys updated xo

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Hmm. We leave our respective homes together and never return.

For real tho, I like adventurous dates where we go exploring ! Like the times we’ve gone to pet farms and befriended every animal we come across or gone for long walks in forests or explored castles ! Those ones have always been super fun and I have really fond memories of them :’)

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Bisexual

69. What turns you off?

old men who think it’s funny to catcall or make advances towards much younger women who literally could not be less interested or afraid like honestly go die xo

70. Done

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

i’ve never had a wet dream

72. What words do you like hearing during sex?

i rly like hearing my name and also anything mildly validating . if i hear the words “good girl” i will Melt

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

love me, feed me, nvr leave me xoxo

74. Done

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I genuinely haven’t a clue Dónal outdoes himself all the time like ?? Chasing buses? Making me go to his place once bc he claimed to have a “surprise” for me, telling me that said surprise was a mug of tea anD THEN telling me he’d bought us both tickets to Ed Sheeran ? Telling me he was bringing his ukulele to my house when he came up for my birthday so I wouldn’t suspect he’d bought e a ukulele of my own ?? Letting me basically live with him for weeks at a time occasionally and taking care of me and making sure I’ve eaten every day? The time I was sick and he made me tea and toast and tucked me into bed and I cried because he was so nice to me ?? All the times he’s comforted me when things are really bad and I don’t rly feel like being alive ?? Not getting sick of me ????? The possibilities are ENDLESS

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I’m not sure tbh I’m a worthless trash person I doubt I’ve ever done anything particularly special for anyone

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Past a certain point it’s okay. But it’s really dodgy where teenagers are concerned.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I was once too depressed to wash my hair for two weeks :///

79. When was the last time you felt jealous?

I’ve already answered this but just for the sake of actually being petty like the question intended

This morning I woke up to a message from my lovely boyfriend with a screenshot of a picture a girl he used to go to school with put on tumblr

And this picture contained said girl, his ex girlfriend, and two other girls he’s made out with at some point or another

And they’re all rly pretty well his ex is a generally awful person and physically not my type at all but the other three made me :(((( bc P R E T T Y and i’m an E G G

80. Done

81. Done

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My baby brother probably

83. Who was your first kiss with?

My ex

84. Done

85. Would you ever date someone off the internet?

Probably not ! Wouldn’t be able to put that much trust in it I don’t think . Would absolutely become friends with someone and meet them and hang out with them a few times and then maybe if there was a connection I’d date them since we technically knew each other irl . But I’d never like . talk to someone exclusively online and declare it a relationship without having met them

[evenstevensranked]

#45: Season 2, Episode 13 - “A Very Scary Story”

Annnnd, we’re back! Let the countdown resume. I know y’all remember this one. How could you not?! It’s THE ICONIC HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!! Lawrence Jr. High is holding free eye examinations on Halloween. But, instead of being legit eye exams, students are getting their eyes BURNED OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS?!

It opens with Ren seemingly home alone the night before Halloween watching some knock off of “Psycho.” I like this bit. She yells at the TV, “Honey, you’re getting chased by 6 mutants and you’re just deciding to take a shower?!” — Seriously, though. People in horror films make the dumbest decisions. I think the fake movie footage is hilarious.

Just then, the phone rings. Naturally. And now we get a knock off of “Scream” lol. Whoever’s calling distorts their voice and says “Do you like penguins, Ren? MAHAHAH!” and hangs up. I wonder who that could be. (Sarcasm) Ren is walking around holding a skillet as a weapon which is kinda funny. She looks so uncoordinated with it. Turns out it was just Louis calling from inside the house. Shocking. He comes jumping out at her making what’s supposed to be a “penguin” noise, I guess. I really don’t know. He kinda sounds like Doodlebob, honestly. Obviously, Ren screams and Louis has the audacity to ask “Ren, why are you so jumpy?!?!" I love this line and the way Shia says it. I use it a lot, lol. He claims he just wanted to show her his penguin jockey costume. The costume itself is a true a stroke of genius. But, I’m sure there was a less serial killer way to go about the reveal, lol. This episode definitely gets iconic points for that costume, though. People have gone as penguin jockeys because of Louis: x / x ...Incredible. 

Ren is seriously a wet blanket here. She refers to Halloween as “childish dress up games.” What da heck?! Lighten up. You’re like, 14. I embarrassingly went as Hannah Montana for Halloween freshman year of high school, 2007. Bad idea. But just because I have tan skin and wore a blonde wig, everyone thought I was supposed to be Beyoncé. I constantly had to correct people. I WAS HANNAH MONTANA, DANG FLABBIT!!! The struggle. 

Ren tells Louis that his costume isn’t going to scare anyone. I never thought it was intended to be scary in the first place??? Either way, Donnie comes walking in and Louis makes some more Doodlebob noises at him and Donnie runs away screaming “AHHH! PENGUIN!” Wow. I’m only mentioning this because I read a little trivia that Donnie originally walks in holding a basketball, but when they cut back to him he’s suddenly holding what looks like an inflatable toucan or something?! What?! How do you forget that Donnie was holding a basketball one second and then hand him an inflatable toucan the next?! I do not understand. 

“Wait, what was Donnie the Sports Jock just holding?! It was probably a basketball or something because that makes sense. But, I can’t remember. HERE! Take this INFLATABLE TOUCAN!” ?!?! - Probably the actual thought process that resulted in this ridiculousness. 

At school the next day, we see that LJH takes Halloween VERY SERIOUSLY. Stuff like this gave me unrealistic expectations. If you wore a costume to school growing up, you were a weirdo and people judged you. Not here! They have some intense decorations and the entire school is dressed up! Well, everyone except for Ren — who’s in a freaking pencil skirt and blazer, walking around making sure everyone gets an eye exam.

This school is more ~lit~ than most actual Halloween parties.

We find out that Louis and the gang are planning a prank for the cafeteria: Putting fake eyeballs in the turkey gravy. Yum. Louis shows them the fake eyeballs he bought and says he just got them in overnight from Chico. It’s a small detail but I like that he mentions Chico. The city is also brought up in an earlier episode. I always laugh when Tom tells Louis “I need to get my eyes examined.” Louis says “YOUR EYES EXAMI— Tom, how many fingers am I holding up?!” And Tom has to squint at the fingers RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE in order to give the correct answer. 

“.......Two.” // “Exactly. Your eyes are fine.”

Okay, long story short: Basically, anyone who goes in for an eye exam comes out acting like a robot. Students are walking around with sunglasses on and are suddenly obsessed with drinking milk and following the rules. Tom is the first victim of Louis’ crew. He says “I suddenly got quite a hankering for the Moo Juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health.” I FEEL LIKE THAT LINE IS ENGRAINED INTO MY MIND FOREVER! Tom bails on the cafe prank and says “If something like this were to go on our permanent records, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.” THIS LINE NEVER LEFT MY BRAIN EITHER. I feel like this episode was actually Disney propaganda or something, brainwashing us into drinking milk and being good students. Not even gonna lie, when I was young this episode made me crave milk... and I hated milk. *X-Files theme song plays in the distance.*

Tawny and Twitty both get their eyes checked and start saying the same robotic nonsense Tom did. Louis is having none of it, though. He yells “TAKE OFF THE STUPID GLASSES!” and we get one of the most terrifying moments of our childhood...

This is still so disturbing. Show producers Sean McNamara and David Brookwell wrote this episode. I seriously want to track them down and make them explain what gave them the bright idea to traumatize children in this way?!

The classic Louis Scream kicks into full gear here. (see first image of the post) I’m laughing because I just noticed that as he runs away, he whips the butt of the penguin like “giddy up!” as if he’s actually racing on it… Oh my god. As he’s running he shouts “NO ONE’S TAKIN’ MY PEEPERS!” which I always kinda liked, haha.

Louis ends up spying on one of the “eye exams” and the process is revealed! Wexler and Tugnut zap the kids’ eyes and do in fact brainwash them with the milk and permanent record mumbo jumbo. Great. 

Louis is now the only student who hasn’t had an eye exam. Wexler, Tugnut and the whole school are going after him. He calls home in a panic asking for Steve and Eileen to come pick him up before conveniently hiding out in the Penguin bathroom.

His family shows up within like, 10 seconds. Teleportation is the only explanation for this. Louis goes to get his stuff before leaving... but OH NO! Wexler and Tugnut greet Donnie, Steve and Eileen and make them go in for eye exams. This always made me soooo angry as a kid. I felt Louis’ sheer horror and helplessness here tbh. Just then, Ren pops out of nowhere and Louis explains the whole situation to her. She acts like she has no idea what he’s talking about, but all of the robot students start chasing them so she helps him find a place to hide.

“Safe?! For how long, Ren? How long before those eyeless, sunglass-wearing, milk-slurping zombies get in here?!” - ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THE WALKING DEAD. “DON’T OPEN. DEAD INSIDE.” 

Ren leaves Louis alone to see if the coast is clear. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Does she not see the horde of zombie students through the windows?! Regardless, Wexler and Tugnut appear and take Louis down to the school’s newly renovated torture-chic basement. (Louis: “When did the school get a dungeon?” Wexler: “Actually it’s an evil lair.”) 

Ren was the ringleader this whole time. She comes walking out looking like THIS and Wexler and Tugnut refer to her as “mistress.” Okay, this is a little creepy now...

Louis looks at the wall and says “R.E.N.....? That’s gotta stand for something.” - I clearly remember laughing at this line when I was little for some reason omg. 

Ren explains that they’re going to turn everyone into “Renplicates” (actual Ren clones) because the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules. Okay, maybe that’s true. But, you don’t need to morph everyone into cloNES OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY!!! Seriously... whaaaa?! lol. Around here Ren says “Tugnut! Turn on the juice!” which Jim Wise recently admitted was an innuendo line that the crew laughed at off camera. Adult jokes on kids shows sort of creep me out though, ngl. 

Anyway, everyone -- including their parents, step into the Renplicator and transform into Ren. 

Everyone except... Louis.

HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL?!?! I never liked thisssssss.

That’s where the story ends. THANK GOD! Turns out it was just Louis telling Beans a scary story. “Beans, you wanted to know what happened last Halloween. So, I told you!” To which Beans responds: 

One of the only Beans lines I like. (x)

And that’s it! There’s a bit at the very end where Beans tries to get away with trick-or-treating at the Stevens house several times by wearing a bunch of different costumes. Donnie answers the door every time and says things like “That’s cute, kid!” and “Haven’t I see you here before already?” IT’S CLEARLY FREAKING BEANS! 

I never understood this. I know Donnie’s dumb but he knows who Beans is. They should’ve just had a random kid do this scene. Using Beans makes NO SENSE. Also, he already raids their kitchen all the time as it is. He doesn’t need to go “undercover” to get candy from the Stevens house, lol. 

That’s the Halloween episode guys! Strangely, not as funny as I remember. Still a classic, though... obviously. I was originally going to rank it in the #30s, solely for the iconic value.. but, when I was deciding on what to put for #45 I just had to put this one here. It’s a “special” episode. So it’s difficult to rank it any higher than this since it’s just a fun one-off, silly, seasonally appropriate episode. Nothing furthers the overall arc of the series here, lol. That’s not the case for all “special” episodes... But, this one sticks out like a sore thumb in comparison to the other 64.  

Did it scar you for life as a kid?! I have to say that this episode and “Don’t Look Under The Bed” (which Larry Beale/Ty Hodges starred in!!!) literally scared the living crap out of me. Apparently DLUTB has actually been banned?! Whoa. To this day, I’m still afraid of some demon boogyman hand grabbing at my ankle...

Thanks for reading! Chime in below. 

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