#Poor Spy and Sniper.

[cheemscakecat]

Um.. No?

So someone wrote a Dadspy fic where Scout knew the entire time and he’s indifferent to the reveal. There were big two things that didn’t feel right to me though.

Scout passive aggressively ignoring and avoiding Sniper after he died in the hallway in comic #6.

For those that don’t want to read this other post of mine, I went over what happened to Sniper in the comics and how that mighta affected Spy wanting to disguise as Tom Jones.

Now Scout wouldn’t think about the fact that Spy saw what happened, but he would eventually be pulled aside by Demoman or somebody and told about Sniper’s situation. Especially if he and Spy had a falling out.

So I can’t imagine him ghosting the poor guy to break off their friendship.

2. This:

“He keeps acting like he always did with Spy. The sick satisfaction he gets every time Spy follows him cloaked and takes a bullet for him in battle, tries to give him little gifts or start conversations only to get rejected with that poker face sliding over his features was thrilling.

But it got boring pretty quickly. Unfortunately, Spy didn’t leave him alone even after he yelled at him to go be useful for once and ****ing creep around the other Scout if he wanted to play follow-the-leader so bad.”

What do you mean you enjoy reaping the benefits of your father taking bullets for you, then rejecting his attempts to do right by you?!

It’s one thing if Scout doesn’t know the extent of how much Spy tries to help him, like protecting him from Joey Murders when his arms were broken in prison. I can see him forgetting the better deeds of his father in the timelines where he didn’t know the truth.

It’s totally different if he knew the whole time, saw Spy putting his life on the line for him over and over, and knew that Spy wasn’t using those deeds to try to force father-son reconciliation.

Like, he did not do all of that expecting Scout to just forget being left behind and let bygones be bygones; he did it because he loves his son. He doesn’t bring any of that up when finally revealing the truth to his son, and he’s left in speechless horror and remorse when he finds out how long Scout knew. So it’s really evil and nasty to take pleasure in hurting him like Jeremy’s been doing.

“Sniper shifts uncomfortably and looks off to the side, most likely to a cloaked Spy. ‘Nah, mate. Just about the… father… thing.’

Scout drops his stuff in his locker. ‘Huh? What about it?’ Of course he knows. Scout isn’t dumb. He sees the way Spy looks more and more disheveled each day, eating less and less, staring at Scout more and more.

Scout thinks it because he is at that age that he would start nagging his family to visit more if he had a normal life. If he had stayed. But he didn’t, so he doesn’t have one to nag. Not outside the base and certainly not inside it. Maybe it finally dawned on him that his only child knows him at a coworker level and wants to keep it that way. That the night he spent with his Ma practically doesn’t mean anything to anyone, not even Scout’s Ma, but him.”

Scout, how do you know that your parents weren’t in a relationship for a few years? You figured out Spy was your dad when you somehow recognized him at 16 in a random diner, so Ma had to have kept a picture or something like that. Ask yourself, would she do that for a random guy that she knew for one night? And would she keep that if he meant nothing to her?

… And he’s really gonna just sit there and watch Spy go into a depression or worse with no remorse. Refusing to go talk to him knowing he’s standing next to Sniper, knowing he’s losing weight in a dangerous way.

That’s not indifference, that’s called hate.

Me personally, I think Scout’s the type to say something really harsh and hateful, but not actually mean it; and that he’d feel remorse for it later. Not prey on Spy’s downfall like he did in this fic. Respectfully.

[another-delta-lover]

What about…. What about oiled up Engie??? Scout? Spy? Sniper? All of them? A series is needed cool artists person(?) 🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏

Btw i'm valve and I just made the Oil Update canon.

[sleeplessflow]

team together for the new smissmas update

[somnolent-scout]

The Team Fortress 2 Cosplay meetup at Phoenix Fan Fusion 2023!

This year's meetup was absolutely AMAZING. We had a total of 26 people come to the meetup, blowing last year's record of 12 people out of the water! We have yet to pass Salt Lake City Comic Con 2022's record of 37 people. But next year, I hope we can have an even bigger meetup! Although, we definitely need to find a new spot not in the way of everything. I apologize to the Phoenix Convention Center security staff for our massive inconvenience.

This year, we had two totally new characters join the meetup! We finally have a Ms. Pauling and Saxton Hale!

And our Saxton Hale was just as strong as the Australian fella himself...

And of course, the video where I told everyone "You already know the answer to this one!"

[Me, Scout: "Is TF2 dead?"

Crowd: "No!"

Me, Scout: "Are we gonna keep going?"

Crowd: "Yeah!"]

[lemonguys1200]

We see medic’s butt

EHEHEHhEhEheHe >:D

awwww He get new toy Lol

I think that doll will make him happy all day

.

.

.

meanwhile

[ficswithtacotuesday]

Just because you talk about different things to your secret boyfriend doesn't make you special, Spy. No one wanted you to eavesdrop anyway

[aupermittymeowmeow]

yall cannot tell me you did not think that one scene was Christain Brutal Sniper in Emesis Blue

[john-pancreas]

I think John pancreas’s favorite sniperspy relationship dynamic that actually includes the blue spy (I’m sorry but red sniperspy will always have my heart)

is the awkward love line

where the red sniper and spy are just in a nice happy relationship (I personally think red spy just adores sniper and sniper is just surprised with all the attention from such a gentleman!! Eheheh just very cute and fluffy lol)

and then there’s blue spy

and things get unhealthy and obsessive

where the red spy goes slow with sniper (both are nervous but spy would never admit that)

the blue spy is aggressive forceful

and obsession rather than love doesn’t actually care about sniper or his wants

just control over him

REALLY unhealthy love

I dunno I just think that’s an interesting dynamic eh heh heh

just John pancreas thoughts

[lunatic-pudge]

Mercs Being Jealous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Requested by menenthusiast900069)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.

1.) Sniper

2.) Demo

3.) Scout

4.) Medic

5.) Pyro

6.) Soldier

7.) Engie

8.) Spy

9.) Heavy

Now, onto the headcanons!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it

-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating

-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes

-Scout, chill, for real for real

-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him

-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him

Soldier:

-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy

-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you

-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)

-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"

-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation

Pyro:

-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate

-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?

-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare

-It's a very effective form of intimidation

-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't

Demoman:

-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him

-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem

-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy

-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts

-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad

Heavy:

-Heavy? Jealous? Where?

-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous

-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths

-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there

-And stare.

-And stare..

-And stare...

-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that

-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?

Engineer:

-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes

-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe

-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across

(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)

-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender

-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME

-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."

-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end

Medic:

-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING

-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(

-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it

-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)

-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made

-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him

Sniper:

-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?

-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times

-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"

-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave

-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you

-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him

-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)

Spy:

-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so

-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying

-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy

- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner

-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy

[another-delta-lover]

medic dying in a gluetrap? we need the whole support team /j

ASJDGAJSDJSDJAS STOP

[awkward-writes-shit]

Mercenaries x Reader on Laughing Gas who calls them handsome

In this order; Heavy, Medic, Spy, Sniper, Scout, Demoman, Engineer, Soldier, Pyro

Heavy

“You’re handsome…”

The man was too stunned to speak. Medic told him you were going to be real honest when under laughing gas, but he wants expecting THIS.

He finds you adorable like this. You’re absolutely smaller than him (Unless you’re a tall queen/ruler/king, in which we stan * finger snaps *) and carries you around until you’re able to think straight again.

10/10.

Medic

He puts you under just for fun because he finds you cute like this, so he’s gotten used to your loopy speech

“You’re handsome…” “Danke Taube.”

Still makes him giddy every time you compliment him though. Watches you stumble around the room like a toddler.

7/10

Spy

”You’re handsome…”

He knows. He appreciates it, but he knows.

“Merci. You’re a mess…”

Finds your loopy behaviour cute and slightly entertaining. Wouldn’t actively go out of his way to help you, but will keep an eye on you so you don’t end up killing yourself.

6/10

Sniper

“You’re handsome…”

He’s flustered immediately, does the awkward pulling hat down to cover the blush move.

“Thanks Sheila…”

Probably gonna get baby locked in his van due to him not wanting you to get hurt, but also having no idea how to care for you.

8/10

Scout

“You’re handsome…”

Stop inflating his ego, you’ve doomed the others for the next hour.

“YA’ HEAR THAT BUSH MAN?! MA GIRL THINKS I’M HANDSOME”

Bro probably puts you on one of those weird monkey leashes that you put bad kids on (Couldn’t be me…) and just watches you with so much entertainment.

8/10

Demoman

“You’re handsome…”

Dude’s drunk 24/7 so you’re basically the same person at this point.

“No, YER handsome… Beautiful… Pretty… Yeah…”

He’s constantly taking care of his mom, so you’re in good hands. No sharp objects, no fire, no Pyro, absolutely no Pyro, you’re safe.

10/10

Engineer

“You’re handsome…”

So much blush on that poor Texas man’s face.

“Aw… Thanks sweet pea… How ya’ feelin’?”

We stan a man who’s concerned about you. Keeps you in his workshop while he works. More than willing to explain to you what he’s doing like you’re 5.

10/10

Soldier

“You’re handsome…”

He’s a really loud person so everyone is going to know that you called him handsome.

“OF COURSE I’M HANDSOME! I AM THE GREATEST AMERICAN ON EARTH!”

Dude would have no idea what to do with you. Heavy just ends up taking care of you.

2/10

Pyro

“You’re handsome…”

‘Happy Pyro noises’

Definitely not the best at taking care of people, but in you’re loopy state, he’s amazing.

Y’all are absolutely gonna do stuff like colouring, playing with his unicorns, and absolutely cuddling.

[ruthytwoshakes]

TEEHEE THANK YOY <333 rat girl rat girl I love ratty girls

I think she’d smell alright and everything but she would despise doing anything with her hair. 3 in 1 shampoo and call it a day. Braid that gets left in for months at a time. Greasy as sin and matted to hell and back. I love her so much

me n @wiiwarechronicles were talking about fem sniper and came up with a hair combo so epic that I had to draw it,,,,,,, shes so cool <33

[sparkly-sediment]

Tf2 Mercs Weedequitte

Asks are open my little giggle biscuits!

Scout

He hands that joint back WET

Slobber dripping off the sides, the tips cold when you go to take a puff, and you can see the corner of his mouth glisten

If Scout ever got high he would have munchies and get scared. He would have to go outside and walk around, maybe even hug a tree for comfort

Coughing and gagging in the most annoying way possible. Like that one cat picture with its protruding tongue and watery eyes void of complex thought

Scout couldn’t handle a bong. Just couldn’t. Stick to a cold can of bang! He might try to make a bong outta a bang can, but he won’t figure it out

Soldier

Do not give him weed.

Do not give him anything.

Dont give him any drug hes insane nuts bonkers and, yes, even bananas

He took acid once by mistake. Ended up in Europe a year after the war ended

Soldier is borderline on a good day but king will spiral into a drug induced psychosis. There will be bugs, skin, and a whole lot of paperwork for Medic

Wouldn’t even smoke he’s a total fucking narc too

Says devils lettuce

Demoman

Uses every weed euphemism known to man

Mary J is his fav. Kush, grass, gas, doubie, all of them

Approaches Sniper while the poor bastard making his trek between camper and civilization. Demo does an insinuating chuckle and says, ‘let’s make love to that wee lass Mary J’

Sniper starts running

He prefers drinking but this guy smoked some grass back in the day. Doesn’t fuck around and can pass a blunt without falling out

In half baked, Demo is the guy who gets munchies and accidentally kills the horse

Will smoke with Sniper and always provides what he can or hits a curtesy role, but he doesn’t pursue weed much and if snipes didn’t share, probably wouldn’t smoke

It does help the pain from his missing eye!

Pyro

One time, he got wild.

Pyro burned down an entire pot grow and was absolutely spazzing off that za rolling his way down the mountain

They were on the astral plane the entire hike down. Pyro crashed through the trees, crawled, laughed hysterically, cried, and vomited. Pyro drank water from a creek thinking it was the fountain of immortality

Pyro befrinded a squirrle named Banabo Jo. He knew Jo and knew his people were wise and brave. Banabo Jo recognized Pyro’s mystical capabilities and ability to see beyond, thus creating a mutual respect and brotherhood.

Banabo Jo guided Pyro from the mountain top and into the Heart of the Valley. He watched over as Pyro awaited rescue and gave the sacred squirrel farewell through the van window

(hypersensitive to drug induced psychosis)

Heavy

Rolls a blunt on Medic’s back and smokes it while they fuck

Smokes weed but only pipes. Very rarely will roll with paper, typically in the aforementioned situation

He can do some of the smoke tricks like puffing out O’s. He cannot french inhale and tbh has a chronic stuffy nose 😏

Medic

Wholeheartedly believe in and support the usage of medical marijuana

Smoked a little weed in university, but his classmates were too scared of him to invite him to the smoke sesh

He kinda gives off narc vibes!! Completely chill though, unless he could gain from blackmailing you

Asks if Sniper wants to puff and Sniper is shocked! Medic uses pompous words like oder tho and not the German oder

Arches his back so Heavy can sprinkle some flower on him for the roll-hole ritual

Engineer

Scene in Top Gun, “we’re in the spirit world asshole!” HIM OKAY HIM

Builds intricate and sick as fuck bong structures, dab rigs, and some real crazy stoner shit.

He love getting blazed and tinker with something, but that did cost him the tip of his pinkie finger

He’s a lightweight and really just skims a hit or two and bounces

Totally hotboxes that fucking workshop

Spy

He’s a classy kind of smoker

No weed inside, at least not his house. Very discreet about it and even if he was just in the world’s foggiest hotbox, he would never snell like week

No weed smell ever it’s incredible

Mainly sticks to cigarettes but he will smoke with Sniper.

Smoking, whether it be weed or cigarettes, is a form of foreplay for them fr

He never has cotton mouth either

Sniper!!

Save the best for last bc he is a canon pothead

Sniper just tries to be a chill guy. Go to work, fire a gun, smoke some weed. Would he like more? Sure. But is he okay where he’s at? Good enough

The first to discover his gardening habit was Spy. The whole breaking and entering thing really gives away secrets

Sniper has SO MUCH TEA. Various team members come to him and smoke, which is cool with him. He prefers when they replenish his stash, though. Or at least give him something in return

When they smoke they also complain. Inhibitions are dropped and suddenly Sniper knows that Demo is pissed at Medic for not letting him drink rubbing alcohol, every though Demo knew it would kill him, because he and Pyro were trying to light a burp on fire

He only enjoys smoking with Spy and Ms. Pauling. Pauling is fun and they talk mad shit together, maybe do something stupid on a minor scale

Spy and Sniper venture into the bush if yk what im saying. Weed is just kinda a plus but Spy can get too zesty sometimes

[papil0nglegs]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is literally the Embodiment of >:3, like reader will hide spy's knife in a different mercs room, leave a singular finger mark on heavy's weapon, replace demoman's skrumpy with coffee, ect ect. Basically reader is a little sh!t and loves to tease the mercs (the reader is basically a cat who's only Purpose is to make the mercs have tiny Inconveniences on the daily)

So unkawaii of you.. 🍡

Tf2 x reader

A/n: hi g🍅🍅🍅🍅 owww stop it 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stop pls🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅a🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅I just wanted to🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅say h🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅i🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅im sorryr🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stopitp🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅ls

Warnings: Piss drinking, ‘I’m a minor’

They’re all this close 🤏 to executing you. Can you blame them? You’re a menace!!

Your antics were first just “you so crazy girl!!!” To “you’re fucking insane.”

You do the absolute most, you can’t just touch heavy’s gun and leave it at that! You have to grab a bunch of Lisa Frank stickers and decorate poor Sasha

“Holy fuck y/n what the hell did you do..”

“What? It looks better.”

Once heavy entered battle he noticed people snickering at him, that was when he noticed all the cute stickers on Sasha

Yeah you’re as good as dead

They will never let you near a phone again, once scouts MOM called the base and you just happen to be right next to it..

“Hello?”

“Hi!! I’m Jeremy’s mom just calling to see if he’s doing okay”

“No he died sorry” click

2hours later

“WHO THE FUCK TOLD MY MA I DIED??”

Sometimes the beef at the base isn’t about you, so you have to make it about you

‘a bunch of screaming’

“AHHHHHHH”

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU SCREAMIN’ FOR?”

“idk I’m going to sleep”

UnSpiking beer>>>

You can replace it with coffee ORRRR, grab one of snipers jars yes we’re going there

“Y/n, you low down scallop.”

“Why are you blaming me? Snipers the one who pisses in jars!!”

The gaslighting is unreal when it comes to you, no one is safe from your manipulation

Esp on the enemy team, you’d pretend to be hurt and immediately shoot them

“Ow you broke my fucking nose asshat!!”

“Shoot uhh, hey I know I’m not supposed to do this bu-“

“Sike” 💥

Belittling the mercs is also fun, you’d randomly pinch their cheeks or scratch their ear like their some dog to really get them mad

But as soon as one lays a finger on you all hell breaks lose

“Nice job out there private!!” Back pat

“STOP TOUCHING ME, I DIDN’T GIVE CONSENT. IM A MINOR, A MINOR.”

😣..

You fuck with scouts relationships sm, imagine calling into Ms paulings phone and acting like ur his sidepiece

“Hello?”

“ARE YOU THE WHORE MY BOYFRIEND JEREMY IS HOOKING UP WITH?

“What?”

“YOU BETTER PLAN YOUR FUNERAL NOW CUZ GIRL TRUST YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH.”

Then you casually watch a scout and Pauling fight over something you started like

[gobbogoo]

This is a solid breakdown! If I could add some details:

- Soldier isn't actually bald, he just has a very tight military-style buzzcut.

- Engie IS bald, but has the shadow of a widow's peak. He also has a small button nose.

- Heavy's nose is small and hooked, almost-but-not-quite a hawks-beak.

- Scout has an ever-so-slight underbite, with a flat, narrow chin that slopes inwards.

Here are some reference pics, including official portraits made by their original designer, that help emphasize details that were lost in the translation from 2D to 3D:

made a guide for myself on how i wanna draw the mercs! started with just trying to distinctify all the bald white men, but i decided to finish it out. some are more inspired by headcanons, some are closer to canon!

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

beach day for team RED

kinda like my la squadra headcanons i made eons ago about the same thing, enjoy

less of an x reader thing and more like team bonding headcanons

-the group beach volleyball games get crazy. people are hurt, bystanders are in shock, scout lost a tooth, but it's all in good fun probably

-pyro is in full scuba gear, hundreds of feet under the surface of the water, occasionally coming back up with color aquatic life they probably shouldn't be touching just to show everybody

-solider and demo are trying to build the tallest sand "castle" they can (it is in no way a castle, it's just a big mound), but when they get bored of that they take turns catching and tossing scout into the ocean

-spy is tanning but is also inadvertently giving himself the ugliest tan-lines in the world. he forgot to take the balaclava off and nobody will tell him because they think it's hilarious

-we all know engineer is workin that grill like he was born to do it 🙄 but he'll also take a moment to go lookin at critters when the tide recedes

-sniper is making friends with the seagulls. he is also sprinkling breadcrumbs around scout for said seagulls to harass. he does go take a look at whatever sea creature pyro surfaces with and consistently asks if they can cook it for the laughs

-poor scout is getting bullied almost the whole time. between the seagulls and the surprise swimming lessons from demo and soldier, he's finding it a little hard to fully enjoy himself. teaming up with his assailants to bury spy in the sand makes it all worth it, though

-heavy is out swimming with the dolphins. he rarely gets to appreciate the beauty of nature (that isn't in the desert), both on the battlefield and in his home country, so he allows himself to do bask in it every chance he gets. Big fan of tide-pooling and will happily join pyro or engineer to ogle at a little crab or sea slug

-medic is as far away from everyone else as possible. he already has to deal with them 24/7, he'd like his vacation time to be solo. he's done playing doctor for them, so if someone needs anything they can flag down a lifeguard; medic will be enjoying himself 5 miles down the shoreline