#same at the Russian Roulette scene

[aupermittymeowmeow]

yall cannot tell me you did not think that one scene was Christain Brutal Sniper in Emesis Blue

[gghostwriter]

Hiya! :D

Since askbox is open, may I please order some slight hurt-comfort based off of "From Eden" by Hozier? Harnessing the pure longing this song emanates to me fr.

Something like non-BAU!reader getting hurt by an unsub during a case (non-lethal but it does require a stitch or two) and spencer gets abnormally worried about this one person among the group of victims (maybe serial bank robberies) and when the team notices it and ask him about it he reveals to them that they're actually his roommate?

something romantic-leaning; I just like the idea of him standing outside the hospital room door [OMG LIKE THE SONG] because the doctors told him to wait before he could go inside sitting there like 🥺 "My roommate :(" and getting embarassed when the team calls reader his partner; "You're so worried it's almost like you're dating." sort of feel

Sorry if this is long btw! I tend to go all out on ideas! Pronouns are up to you though, feel free to change anything to your liking as well! :]

Thanks for reading! :D

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Roommates; Comfort, Fluff, Angst w.c: 1.2k A/N: There's so much interpretation for 'From Eden by Hozier' and I had a challenging time trying to capture which meaning I wanted to encapsulate. This is also by far the longest request I've written and honestly this took a life of its own but I still hope you like it! Main masterlist

Eden. // Spencer Reid

The monotone droll in the bank was white noise in your life that you learned to slowly hate. Day in, day out it was the same thing—customers withdrawing, depositing, and claiming loans. You liked numbers, that was how you ended up as a manager, but the cookie cutter business smile you had to keep on your face was a con you wish to part from. 

You sighed. Your roommate turned secret crush, Dr. Spencer Reid, had warned you about the serial robberies that had happened within the state of Virginia and Washington. He advised you to be vigilant and if possible, to keep your phone within your reach and you easily agreed having heard some of the macabre cases he’d been involved in.

You just didn’t think it would happen today.

“Get down on the ground!” A man’s voice echoed throughout the lobby, followed by a series of gunshots.

Spencer’s voice played in your head as if he was a lighthouse guiding you out from the panic. Hide. Don’t panic. Press the hidden alarm and dial my number.

You thanked your past self for programming his contact on speed dial. Volume down and no words uttered, you hid the phone inside your blouse hoping to not get caught.

“You there!” One of the masked men caught sight of you. “Outside. Now!”

You nodded, averting your eyes to show submission. Another tactic from Spencer.

Wishing the call picked up the trio of robbers voices, you stayed facing down on the lobby surround by the rest of the hostages.

Spencer, please. Please, get my message.

Just a few miles away, tension was high in the BAU conference room. The round table littered with folders and cooling coffee mugs. The team was running on a mixture of caffeine and sheer will to solve the serial bank robber case, tagged as priority by Strauss, that had been terrorizing states for a span of months. 

Spencer raked his already unruly hair. So far, the profile was incomplete. They knew there were three in the team but with varying heights and builds in various crime scenes, even that was shaky. What they were sure of was the sick game of Russian roulette they would play with their hostages, always with one bullet in a revolver and who ever is unlucky, dies with a hole between their brows and the remaining hostages are pistol whipped to unconsciousness. 

He knew he should stay objective. He knew that but how could he, when who he considers as his secret flower was at risk every second the unsubs were at large? It was his mission to keep you safe and the chances of you being caught in the line of fire heightened each second.

Vibration from his pocket brought him out of his musings. 

It was you. Right there and then, Spencer knew it was anything but good. You never called during work hours and with the last conversation between you having been about safety, it had settled in his stomach that the worst reality had come to fruition.

He picked up without saying a word, straining his ears to hear any distinguishable background noise. That was when he heard it—the authoritative, cocky voice yelling at you to come outside. His heart dropped. 

No. No. No. Anything but this.

“Sir, we just got a call,” Penelope rushed into the conference room. “There’s a live hostage taking at—”

“—Commerce Bank. 125 Independence Boulevard,” Reid interjected.

The profilers shared a look.

“That’s right,” Penelope muttered.

Morgan raised an eyebrow at him as he hurriedly stood up and collected his belongings. “Wait Reid—” causing him to stop in his tracks and turn to face back at the team. “—How’d you know?”

“Because Y/N works there,” he promptly exits the room, hightailing it to the elevator.

Emily looked at JJ. “Who’s that?”

She shrugged, lost too on who you were.

———

The team had split into two vehicles. Hotch, Rossi, and Reid in one while Morgan Emily, and JJ in the other.

Rossi glanced at Hotch, communicating the tension Reid was releasing from the passenger seat. In turn, Hotch sneaks a peek via the rear view mirror and profiles Reid’s ticks—hands clasped tight together, right leg shaking up and down, eyes shifting from left to right, and deep breaths through the nose and mouth. 

“Reid,” he called out.

Blown wide doe eyes meet his. “Hm?”

“We need you to stay focused. If you can’t do that, I’ll pull you out of this case.”

“I—I can do it!” His voice cracking.

“Are you sure, kid?” Rossi clarified.

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s just she’s my—” roommate but that singular title wasn’t fitting to describe who you were to him. No classification was good enough, really. “—I can focus,” he declared. 

There was a series of looks exchanged between the two senior agents. They didn’t need to be seasoned profilers to understand that their youngest is one slip away from panic.

Hotch sighed. “Alright, Reid, but you follow my orders. Got it?”

“Yes.” 

———

Einstein’s theory of special relativity was what came to mind as he paced outside your hospital room. The physicist implied that time moves relative to the observer. An object moving very fast experiences time more slowly than in rest and that was exactly what he felt as he paces back and forth outside your room, desperately waiting for any update—the good or the bad. Everyone seemed to be moving at a leisure pace while he, Dr. Spencer Reid, hangs on the precipice of elation and despair. 

The team had sent him away, to you specifically, when it was obvious that his otherwise objective mind was of no help in finishing up the case. Was it dreadful of him that he felt relief course through his veins when it wasn’t you that got the short end of the stick during the unsubs’ Russian Roulette? Yes, possibly but he was only human. A being filled with conundrums and good vs evil. 

The impact of today was eye opening. He could no longer deny to himself that you were more than just a roommate or an acquaintance or a friend. Oh, how hard he tried so hard to push away any thought that seemed any less innocent or chivalrous, but the idea of seeing those beautiful eyes broken and in pain made him want to face the truth. The truth being how deliriously in love Spencer Reid was with you. 

His phone rang, disturbing his mind-altering revelation thoughts.

“Hey kid,” It was Morgan. “How is she?”

Reid licked his lips, eyes trained on the still closed door. “I—I haven’t seen her. The doctors are still inside and I’m still here—outside.” 

“I know this isn’t the time but should we know who she is?” A pause. “Girlfriend?”

“No. No, she’s my roommate,” his sigh coated in despair, murky and sad enough for Morgan to notice.

“You sounded so worried. It’s almost like you’re in love with her or something.”

“I am—” your door opened. “I have to go, Morgan,” he hung up before another word could be uttered.

“Are you Dr. Spencer Reid?” The female doctor asked.

He nodded.

She smiled. “She’ll see you now.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[miss-multi45]

Blackmail

Hoodie x FEM!Reader

cw: no smut, mentions of a gun (revolver), reader has an extremely shitty boyfriend, nicknames said: 'babe', 'babygirl', 'gorgeous girl', 'pretty thing', 'good girl', dead dove do not eat, I based this off the scene in euphoria season 2 episode 6 (the scene where nate puts a gun to maddy's head), mentions of stalking, ghostface quote, mentions of infidelity, gaslighting, swearing, hoodie is a murderous gentleman. come get your food (dddne pun)

It had been six hours since you last saw him.

Now don't take this the wrong way. You weren't the kind of girl to get sad when your boyfriend wasn't by your side again after being gone for five seconds. Quite the opposite.

Liam was a piece of shit, but somehow you loved him. So the reason you had been counting the hours until he got back home was that you had a sneaking suspicion that he had been sleeping with other girls, but god you had hoped and prayed that it wasn't true.

After a while of sitting on the corner of your bed with your head in your hands and planning out what you were going to say to him, the front door finally opened and Liam walked in and right up to where you were.

"I'm home, babe." He said as soon as he entered the room, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you looked up. He sat on his side of the bed and began to undress for bed.

"Where have you been?" You stood up, crossing you arms, finally confronting him despite your fear of him.

He chuckled, both nervously and darkly, "Babygirl, what do you mean?" Liam turned to look at you.

"You've been out all day, you haven't answered my calls or replied to my texts, and you didn't leave any notes or messages." You listed them off, making sure to stare directly into his stupid pretty brown eyes.

"Wha - babygirl, I have a job?" He backed himself up, but you had already prepared for this conversation.

"It's Sunday. Your job is out on Sundays." You walked backwards, sitting on your desk chair to keep the distance, because something didn't feel safe about this.

And almost on cue, you heard a metallic click. "What was that?" Your heart dropped, you recognised that click. It may seem stupid, but you had watched enough action movies to know that click belonged to a gun being loaded.

"Liam. What was that?" You pushed your chair back, even though the bullet could reach you in any corner of the room.

A terrifying emptiness took over his features, a hauntingly calm expression. He pulled the gun out of his jacket pocket, standing up and slowly coming towards you while the deadly cold expression stayed on his face.

The space between you and him was big enough for you to stand up from your chair and jump onto the bed. You threw a pillow at him as hard as you could, scared tears starting to develop and fall down your cheeks.

Liam laughed at that, it appeared he found your fear a laughing matter. "Aw, why you crying?" He creeped onto the bed, climbing on top of you and gently pressing the gun to your temple.

The cold metal that was suddenly against your head clicked, and that's when it hit you. He was playing a twisted game of Russian Roulette.

He switched to pressing the gun to his head, and pulled the trigger a few times to no avail. So, he got up and left the room to load the gun with more than one bullet.

But that didn't involve the bang of a gun, and it didn't involve a body thudding to the floor. But it definitely didn't involve a voice saying: "Smallest gun I've ever used."

Several seconds after the voice spoke, you quietly got up and closed the door, crawling back onto your bed and burying your head into a pillow to silently sob into it.

However, your crying session was interrupted by the door opening again. Heavy footsteps walking towards you, the bed sunk from someone's weight behind you.

"Now what happened here?" It was the same voice as before, commenting on the size of the gun. The voice clearly had a filter over it, but it sounded like a male. Stuffing your face further into the cushion, you tensed up when you felt a leather gloved hand gently stroke and pet your side as if the person knew what had just happened and wanted to comfort you.

"Sorry about your boyfriend," Oh, God. "All those muscles didn't help much." Liam was dead, shot and killed.

Whoever it was didn't seem to like the fact that your face was shoved into a pillow, so they grabbed your face by the chin and turned you over to look at them. "Oh, what a pretty thing." Your cheeks had tears marks, and you were still crying.

"Scared, huh?" Now that you were looking at them, it was obvious they were a man. A very broad and tall man, also quite dominant by the looks of it. He had a turmeric yellow hoodie and a black and red ski mask

You sniffled, and the hooded man chuckled and cocked his head before speaking again. "Stop crying." He wiped a tear with his thumb, moving his arm under your back while snaking the other under your waist.

He lifted you in a bridal carry, but you squirmed in his grasp. "That's enough. A gorgeous girl like you shouldn't be in the same house as the dead body of a shit muppet. Is that clear?"

Almost frantically, you used your sweater paws to wipe the tears away. "I want an answer. Preferably a verbal one." the man demanded, and you answered. "Yes." your voice quivered while you spoke.

"There we go." He started walking out of your room and out of the house, into the vast woodland expanse behind your house. "Now, I'm gonna tell you why I did what I did. And you're going to listen." Not once did he put you down.

"I've been stalking your dead boyfriend for three months now, and I only got the order to kill him two days ago." Wait, 'got the order'? What did that mean?

"I didn't need to kill him for another week, but I did it early because of what I saw him do to you, pretty thing." He continued. Oh, he saw everything. "Pointing a gun to your head, laughing at your fear. You don't do that to a woman, especially not your own fucking girlfriend."

You began to stop crying, instead just looking up at him with glassy eyes and rosy cheeks. But after a while you felt a headache build up, and your vision grew blurry and you saw black dots.

"That's it, good girl." That was the last thing you heard.

[robynator]

re-read some of the scenes in russian roulette and i have to say, i find it hilarious how much of a hypocrite john rider is

john to yassen: forget about your grandfather, family is a weakness that can be used against you by your enemies. oh you're carrying a watch that used to belong to him because it reminds you of home? weak. get rid of it.

also john to yassen: i've been married for three years and have a kid on the way. yes, i am wearing my wedding ring in your presence, despite the fact that you are a baby assassin in the making and i keep telling you that sentimentality is a weakness. and now i am going to meet up with someone that is definitely not my wife, but don't tell rothman, ok? i'm not supposed to do that on a mission so this is super secret

john to yassen: assassins do not have preferences. your preferences can get you killed and if you make a habit of ordering the same food or drink at any place, that can be used to find you

also john: *orders grenadine on every possible occasion & has a habit of drinking his special whiskey after a successful kill*

dude really said ”do as i say, not as i do”, while never acknowledging that he went against his own teachings in the first place, all the while gaslighting yassen with the whole ”i am not advising you to leave scorpia, i just don't think that you are cut out for this line of work, but of course the last thing i want to do is dissuade you, i'm just saying that you can leave not that you should” thing. he is SUCH a manipulative bastard i love him

[sharpth1ng]

Debaserverse Fics Chronological Order

Since all my fics are set in the same universe I figured it would be useful to make a post to clarify how they connect.

Butterfly Eater (It’s Good to Have a Friend Your Age)

Debaser (Cis or Trans version) chapters 1-9

Can I get a ticket to the gun show? (Hooking up with you feels like Russian roulette) *Only has a trans version but the cis and trans chronologies are the same

Hey! (You still like me when I’m like this)

Debaser (Cis or Trans version) chapters 10-16

Wave of Mutilation (Cis or Trans version)

Happiness is a gun warmed by your insides (guns are to dicks as shooting is to cuming) *only has a trans version

Just a reminder there are cis and trans versions of some of these, but the differences are mostly in the sex scenes. They’re all in the same timeline though, so you should be able to go from the cis version of Debaser (for example) to Can I Get A Ticket to the Gun Show (which only has a trans version) and not be confused.

[itwasrealtome]

OLIVIA BENSON

[If you’d like to be tagged in the upcoming posts, please let me know in the comments or in my dm. It’s free and I don’t bite :) Also there’s a Form]

One Shots:

Thin Ice: Detective Y/N, part of Olivia Benson’s SVU Unit, faces a life-threatening situation during a crime scene investigation, chasing a suspect who ultimately falls to his death. Injured but alive, Y/N finds herself in a hospital room, receiving stern words from Olivia about her reckless actions.

Take Your Shot: A visit to the morgue with Olivia and Casey leaves Y/n injured and prompts a tense struggle for her survival.

The Trauma Wheel: After receiving training in trauma management, Olivia Benson encourages the agents on her unit to do the same. But Y/N finds every excuse to avoid the training, not wanting to dwell on the past.

Russian Roulette: Caught up in a family conflict, Y/n ends up shooting her father in self-defense, which leads to her being taken into custody to determine her involvement in this tragic incident.

Runaway: During an investigation, Y/N, the youngest and most athletic detective of the unit, pursues a suspect who flees from them. But a collision with a car injures Y/N who finds solace in Olivia’s presence.

XXX

Taglist:

@electricboost @womenlovingwomen-imagines @hi-i-1 @emskisworld @sammi1642 @enjoytheentireworld @arie109 @marvelandotheruniversesloveradhd @philocalistwrites @wittygutsy @observeowl @ravennewlyn @tina-2005 @makkaroni221 @ssaaggwwaa @g1u2y @supercorpstan97 @youdontknowwhotfiamm @mmmmokdok @hbkpop @micaluvssoccer @namelesscheshire @inquisitive-nix @thesamesweetie @greyslover3004 @12fluffybunny12 @ittybitty-tittycommittee @thefatobsession @moonlightjxuregui @nciscmjunkie @idonothingallday @clozeliz @realgirlbossqueenslay @mrsines @femslashfantasies @ssomerset-blog @slasherthrillss @marvelwomenrule @1-800-fantasy

[thatstroubling]

Poll: What is, on average, the best Danganronpa chapter across the 3 mainline games?

AKA all Danganronpa murders are the same <3.

Parallels among the murders of the same chapter are listed below:

Chapter 1, AKA: "In a murder committed out of fear and panic, after dusk, in a location where the protagonist appeared shortly before, a strongly motivated individual, after taking initiative on their own, is murdered as a result of a betrayal by the protagonist's best ally, after which the corpse of the victim is found slumped on the floor and during the trial for which the blame is for a prolonged time placed on the protagonist or their ally (who was indeed involved, but ultimately is not the blackened)."

Chapter 2, AKA: "In an attempt to maintain allegiance to an important individual and to uphold a sense of honor for their Ultimate title, a capable classmate bludgeons to death the mentally strong yet physically weak (or mentally weak and physically strong) fan favorite (who therefore ends up dying too early) in a hands-on-hands physical confrontation, after which the placement of the corpse as well as the "perceived" crime scene is messed with to pin the blame on another person."

Chapter 3, AKA: "A-not-mentally-well-adjusted individual commits an immaculate and complicated double murder for a unthinkably irrational or amoral cause, which includes a body appearing at the crime scene out of nowhere in a seemingly impossible fashion, and in which one of the victims is the one who was lured out by the killer and willfully takes part in the action (but unknowing that it will result in their own murder) and in which the other victim ends up being the socially ostracized individual, simply because they happen to be at a wrong place at the wrong time."

Chapter 4, AKA: "Within a set-up for a locked room murder mystery, the good-hearted fan favorite becomes a part of a two-person life-and-death allegiance to perform a heroic act of self-sacrificial killing using an unknown murder method with the intention of getting themself killed so that everyone else may live, while one person is revealed to have had a deeper insight into the killing game for some time."

Chapter 5, AKA: "In an unsuccessful attempt to bring the killing game to its conclusion, the most malicious student of the class orchestrates an almost perfect, convoluted and seemingly unnecessarily but indeed intentionally violent murder (which serves as a way of mangling the corpse to a point where the murder method is concealed), whose solving hinges on the protagonist's new but trusted ally's confession about their not-really-consenting involvement."

Chapter 6, AKA: "After a retrospective investigation that brings to light new circumstances about the game's setting as well as its previous events, an existential crisis consumes the remaining survivors as the identity of the class and the killing game itself is revealed, during which Junko Enoshima appears (of course), and which ends with the true protagonist killing the mastermind in order to seek redemption, freedom and hope for their classmates.

P.S. This whole thing was primarily inspired to by my desire to prove Nagito's assumptions from chapter 4 wrong:

Most of these are fortunatelly not true when we also take V3 into account: while Rantaro was important, he wasn't stabbed; a serial killer was revealed in the third chapter, not the in the second; and I wouldn't exactly classify chapter 4 murder as a suicide in either sdr2 or v3 (though we DID have two people playing Russian roulette in the Funhouse, yikes). All in all, the murders wouldn't have been nearly as shocking if they correlated with what had been already pointed out in the second game before, so I'm not really surprised that there ended up being other similarities among the murders.

That's all, thank you for reading <3

[ria-writes-stories]

The love that once was

Ship: Dizzy

Genre: Tension, Glass

Description: Tension turned the other way around

----------

(No one's pov)

It was an exhausting thing you know? To be the bad guy in everybody's eyes, but all comes to a stop once your heart too goes as quiet as you had been your entire life.

Being held so lovingly and soft, feeling her skin pressed and pulled on by the same hands while tender gentle kisses collide upon her neck and cheeks, on her lips and eyelids, with soft whispers of never ending love in her ear, who wouldn't be fooled?

This was Doll's reality. She used to be cheerful, lively, happy, and just in one unfortunate turn of events she one day turned into a walking corpse until she would have to be an actual one.

It was painful to see the person you love the most no longer being who they are, and yet they were right there, just out of reach. How frustrating must it be? Through how much pain through tender kisses did Lizzy have to endure before she was forced to wake up to reality?

However she could never shake the fear, the dread, the horror. Doll enjoyed what she was doing and Lizzy knew that. She saw her sick twisted smile once, in the reflection of her mirror, Doll was licking the drops of oil from a butcher knife as if there was nothing wrong with it. Lizzy had cold sweats accompanied by a shiver down her spine in moments. Every circuit of hers stood on it's end as if she breathed too heavier her entire system would come down in an instant. Doll was no more, but by the time Lizzy realised it too many lives had been lost.

Lizzy could never understand the reasoning behind Doll's actions, how could she? She was oblivious, she was innocent, she was a frail soft flower like when they met for the first time. Doll saw hell and it's fire pits. She saw what was to come. She saw what she could become. She saw what could be the end of all that she knows, the end of everything, of everyone. She refused to be part of it, but ultimately by getting this far into it, she was compelled to.

Back in the more peaceful days, back when they were clueless oblivious cheerleaders, back then. Oh how easy it all was. Hurting someone for the simple of seeing a reaction, for toying with them, how pleasurable it was wasn't it? Too bad that karma caught up on them and promised them and their hell born kind the holy fires of extinction to erase the sin that has formed long before they were even born. They were not at fault. They've done nothing wrong, but this is how it was written. But the thing is, that it was hell still that pulled the strings.

"D-doll?" A weak voice asked as a frail figure petrified in it's tracks unable to breath or look else where. The scene demanded attention. It was to be prised, it was to be worshipped, it was to be cherished. The oil of one spilled meant the ultimate sacrifice, so why was this puny weak girl standing before her saviour and protector like frozen prey instead of getting on her knees?

The Russian drone's smile vanished within a moment as her neck snapped around 180 degrees to look at her friend. The girl's eyes widened in shock. "Uhm- nice new upgrade?" Lizzy said startled as Doll's body turned around with it's head. "нам нужно поговорить."(We need to talk)

Lizzy's love for Doll was the equivalent of the Russian roulette. Dangerous, unpredictable, and it would require a great sharp mind full of wit to not press the trigger at the wrong time, or better said point it at the wrong person. Lizzy didn't have a lot of that. Sure she had her confidence, her charm, her sass, but really if it wasn't Doll that we were talking about this case scenario she would need a prince charming or a knight in shinning armour to save her.

Hungry passionate kisses were something one would dream after usually. It was something normal for some hormonal irresponsible teenagers right? Well, those thoughts were no longer a preoccupation for Lizzy's mind as much once she's learned that her best friend slash partner in crime slash lover slash it's complicated you moron don't look into it too much, needed the life source of another in order to live. Sure it was normal for drone's to eat. Oil, batteries, what not, however there was an issue when you need to drink the oil that comes from a drone instead of one from a bottle or cardboard juice box, but of course you'd have to be a loser and a short emo nightcore obsessed girl to be choosing the last option.

Doll's explication was her grand plan to catch V, and of course, Lizzy had to partake in it or who knows…

Lizzy was conflicted with herself, and yet, she couldn't care less. As long as she lived why would anything else matter? But it did matter because she was under the boots of the very girl that not so long ago she'd share a laugh with down the hallways of their school all dandy and happy.

So for a knight she began to prey. Even if she knew it, even if she was conscious or not about her decision. It was a never ending pressure on her shoulder. She didn't care about the yells, she didn't care about those that perished, she couldn't even muster an ounce of sympathy over the fact that she had a hand in people dying. No. She was instead slowly becoming concerned for the fate of somebody that she was supposed to help capture in a death trap. The knight in shining armour, her last chance.

Lizzy was a lot more intelligent than she let on, but her logic and moral compass were heavily flawed resulting in the girl boss Robo-God awful cheerleader we know today.

Doll was much more than Lizzy ever anticipated. She was a beast, but not a headless mindless one. After all, one can be gentle and merciful only if they are known to be by default cruel and flesh hungry with the power of deciding who lives and who dies. Doll was merciful. The death of just a few drones for the sake of an entire colony to never be attacked again. Uzi was dumb and weak, the girl was so desperate that she had sided with the drones that killed so many loved ones of others. Doll could not blame the outcast, but that didn't mean she could let her go. There were three once, now two, soon to be just one, and the one to be left was the weak goody two shoes. He wouldn't be too difficult to rid of given his foolishness. Doll was going to save this colony and avenge her parents through a simple two step plan. Trap them with bait, and end them.

Love was such a simple world compared to what Doll was offering to all these foolish clueless drones, what she was offering to Lizzy. She was giving a tribute to her parents and by doing so she ultimately gave this world a gift that they were undeserving and unworthy of. She was being more than generous, she was being more than loving.

They kept in touch even after the prom via text messages and who knows what else. After all they had every single right to live the story that we will never be blessed with the knowledge of. They had this right, they had this beauty, they had this blessing, regardless of how selfish, rotten, awful, kind, or pained they were. Tragedy always strikes young lovers the most, and they were no exception from this treatment.

The soul crushing tension that was felt in the air when these two talked was ignored by all oblivious drones because why would they focus on anyone other than themselves? The issue that neither they realised it. Lizzy ignored it perhaps, always pushing it back, ignoring the inevitable danger, while Doll was immune to it.

Once a tension that was the heart wrenching and warmth giver of love between two souls turned into the tension of dread, death and nothingness.

Love is something that will never be understood, that will never make sense or have ration in it but… Until the very end, they still felt it for the other, regardless of the flaws their partner showed.

Demise struck, but who is to say that Doll's heart crushed to bits and dust didn't release one last drop of energy that now was to follow Lizzy until the end of the blond's days, to give her strength and guidance into the next battle.

The end

[de4thparty]

This isn't meant to be hate I just can't reconcile with your interpretation of Keiji and Sara's dynamic as Keiji "just manipulating her". There are many scenes where he comforts and reassures her (that's the first thing he does after they all find out he's alive) so he clearly cares for her. It just seems biased especially since you've never talked about how Sou treated Kanna (which is arguably worse)

Why are you child manipulation-scaling

I do agree that Shin’s treatment of Kanna was bad and I dislike the fact that their dynamic has been white-washed to the point of Shin being characterized as a sweet loving person when he just…is not. But I’ve never found it necessary to point out that he manipulated Kanna because that’s not something people usually deny and if they do I just assume they absorbed the story via fandom because the game could not have made it any more clear

I think the problem here is you’re treating “Keiji is manipulative” and “Keiji eventually grows to care about Sara” as mutually exclusive statements when they’re not. The exact same thing happens with Kanna and Shin where he initially uses her for his own survival and grows to care for her over time - it’s just that the fact he eventually starts to care about Kanna doesn’t erase the fact that he originally saw her position as a terrified grieving child as an opportunity. Keiji is patronizing towards Sara because she’s a teenager yet repeatedly places burdens on her like making her hold the gun in Russian Roulette or asking if he can put his life in her hands, that’s manipulative and very very bad. I don’t think that means he doesn’t care about her at all because like Shin his motivation changes over time these are complex characters in a grotesquely terrible situation

[cheemscakecat]

Funeral Medic [Schweigen] Analysis

Given the fact that smoke rises, Schweigen probably went down these stairs to look for a way out of the slaughterhouse.

Remember, he’s an alternate personality without the context that Fritz has. He doesn’t know who is responsible for the Russian Roulette scene.

The body truck falling and Soldier’s rocket launch were both loud enough that he could have heard them from further up the stairs. But the sound of Solly struggling against Stalingrad wouldn’t have carried that far. So for all he knows, Soldier is the only one causing destruction here.

He didn’t shoot to be evil, he shot because he thought poor Soldier was one of the bad guys. From his perspective, the man started yet another fire and caused an explosion underground. That could cause a cave in if it hit the wrong place, and Schweigen didn’t know that Heavy was there.

We don’t know how this version of Medic ended up in the casket, but I imagine that the plague doctor had something to do with it. Because Spy is talking into the microphone, Schweigen should be able to hear what he’s saying. And he’s saying that he has a colleague.

So Soldier laughed into the microphone and then Spy said “I apologize”, which means their speech isn’t going the way it was supposed to. But since Funeral Medic has no context, he may just think Solly is insane.

It isn’t until afterwards that the dark Medic hears about Ludwig being BLU’s scapegoat.

The Electric-Eye Medic managed to heal fatal bullet wounds earlier, which is why Schweigen knew that he could do it again after Roulette. But since it’s a brain injury instead of a chest injury, it would have been more difficult.

Electric must look the same as Fritz apart from his eyes, because the nightmare version of him is the one we see in the mirror. But healing Ludwig’s body made him regenerate with the glowing eyes initially.

Fritz’s nightmare version of Schweigen is the Plague doctor, which confirms that he appears in all black with the creepy dead-pan look normally. When he healed in the interrogation room, he regenerated to look like himself instead of Ludwig.

What’s interesting is that over the next few days, he continued to heal while driving, and ended up looking like the version of Fritz from Spy’s Disguise. And it already seems like Schweigen was the one in control during that appearance.

So not only is Spy being incredibly disrespectful; Schweigen is stressed out trying to heal Fritz fully and protect him from BLU’s wrath.

He only shot the mustache Scout after he opened fire. Everyone else fleeing the funeral was left unharmed. [Except the Manns]. Schweigen isn’t evil, he’s just trying to protect Fritz from any threats who crop up.

“Are you also a threat?”

[Fear, shock and concern] “Apparently not. I’m going to leave now, don’t prove me wrong.”

It isn’t until this moment that Soldier earns any of this personalities trust, and it’s not much. He can’t afford to blindly trust the wrong people.

It’s so tragic that he crashed the ambulance, because he was trying everything in his power to protect Ludwig. It happened because he stretched himself too thin and exhausted all his energy. But there wasn’t anywhere safe to stop with BLU looking for him.

[chinen-miya-official]

Before we begin, only a small percentage of viewers are subscribed to the channel

So please consider hitting that button if you end up enjoying this battle

Enough of the prattle, you and me in a 1v1?

I don't see much challenge, but it still seems fun

It's no Pet War but I'll beat ya in one verse and leave you like your dog, hit n' speedrun

Count em up, my WR Ws are more plentiful than all the wounds that you cut on your arms

You don't really set a high bar talking 'bout your fine art, my avatar's drawn more consistent than your sprites are!

You hopeless loner, glad you know your own worth

Don't need to dig down to know this stepping stone's below dirt

I know you wanna get Hinata, but your luck's not so grand

If you can't even boost the odds of you hunting your man

How'd you not hit Byakuya's imposter even with the pounds that that the dude sports? (George!)

Guess this rabid fan is only catching hands from transplants with Junko's corpse (George!)

Grab a bow and arrow for this ghost white barebones

You could grow a forest with that bone meal hair, bro

Check all the careers I'm settin' the stage for

While your lymphoma's set in the stage four!

What a grand display! With all the wars you struggle to bear

I'm mere trash in the way when compared to the Ultimate Square

But when it comes to despair (Ugh), I have none left to spare (Ha)

So make like that disc pair, give it up in this pair

I went through with one goal: exposing the traitor

While you got exposed exploiting the traders

Pursuing that dough, then toy with your players

Tom's suicide note is your kinda paper

And paired with your Stan audience? I've inhaled gas less toxic

He labels himself spotless, but I got it! Let me break it down...

Not a perfect roster your team crafted (Huh)

Ultimate Imposter of TeamCrafted (Huh)

Then it met the same end 'cause then Schlatt won (Huh)

And turned L'Manburg to a L'Manhunt

And normal's the only way to describe your catalog of bland songs

Tell that plastic CG ragdoll it's best to keep the mask on

Oh come on, I thought you toted bombs

With just a glance at your chances, your fans went "No, that's wrong!"

Ironic Clay lacks foundation with all the arguments he's built

And you're only blessed with fortune when it's from your parent's will (Ooh!)

You started your wooden arc sailing on a ship

That explains why on the microphone you failed to land a hit

You're numb as it gets, your luck must've gun to your head

But you're only firing blanks like it's Russian Roulette

Your franchise took the stage and ignited some flames

But I'll be snuffing you all out like a fire grenade

Call my fans creepy stanning every student around

But your only friends now are like George, not found!

Your hopes are shining through, but it's just a matter of time

'Fore the net treats you like Tommy and Wilbur (It's banishment time!)

You couldn't kill tracks but you still lack a clean record

Congrats, you're not the blackened, so what's your excuse for the n-word?

Every time drama comes up, you don't respond and let it be

All you can speedrun from is your responsibility

Luck's an awful talent, but you don't even share it

You're gaming's worst cheater on the scene since ProJared

So here's my statement: how fitting that Dream's your name as

You're to be quickly forgotten once your crowd of teens awaken

Your hopes for world renown and loving fans got to see the day but

We all know the dark path your DreamWasTaken

[fancyfeathers]

I envision Eloise to be like the female Fyodor Dostoevsky from Bsd, the man anticipated and planned everything years prior. I would love to imagine her in he prime, early to late twenties, she would be one of those characters whose intelligence and wits, overral mental abilities, don’t actually rival William's but far surpass them. Like the characters with broken levels of intelligence to the point it's considered unrealistic

Father Like Daughter (Yandere William James Moriarty and his darling having a genius daughter)

Hmmm maybe, I could definitely see that but the thing is she really does not have anything to plan, she is a genius but she is a detective rather than a mastermind. Her intelligence is probably more so on the level of Ranpo or at least how she uses it is more like Dazai rather than Fyodor. But the only time I could ever see her surpassing her father instead of rivaling him is when he is in America and when he returns in those first few months because his mind is still recovering from being the Lord of Crime for years, she finally has the space and ability to excel beyond the world she grew up in.

Eloise basically steps up and takes Sherlock’s place as a consulting detective. It would definitely be hard at first given she is a woman detective in the Victorian era along with that she bears the same name as the Lord of Crime, that does not exactly look good for a detective. So she probably takes either her fiance’s surname early or goes by her mother’s maiden name so she is no longer associated with her father on the surface level. Then as for her problem with being a woman, she gets her fiance’s help in getting her first few cases and then when she hits one really big case the public finally gets to see her on her own and it is a breakthrough for her. It is a robbery of a set of jewels that are a temporary display in a museum so when it is found by a women detective who is engaged to a duke, it is major news.

I am a big fan of this one show called Escape the Night and season one is basically a death game dinner party and there is this one scene where one of the games is basically russian roulette and I can just imagine Eloise getting invited to the party in an attempt to catch whoever is behind it and she gets sent into the russian roulette game and the both of them end up coming out alive because she managed to manipulate the host to shoot himself, he feels horrible because she feels like she killed him and she promised to never be like her father and she feels like she is exactly like him in that moment. Just picturing Eloise and the other person coming out of the room, Eloise covered in blood and just looking absolutely dead inside.

Then also another one of her jobs would actually be in Venice during their festival/masquerade to catch a serial killer and she bring along Andrei due to his top tier social skills and that case definitely make Andrei have some similar problems from when his father attended the masquerade, and it did not help that the only mask Andrei could pack at a moment’s notice Eloise gave him was the same one his father wore that night. Over all it was a fun trip after the case, the two of them went sight seeing and Andrei may or may not have make a sweetheart and pen pal with one of the locals.

Then Eloise’s favorite case was when she attended a up scale party, picture the parties from the Great Gatsby, and it was to stop a drug smuggler and honestly she had quite a bit of fun portraying her undercover persona, a rich heiress who was a top tier gambler. She had no difficulty seeing through others poker face to she just got to have fun with it since the case was not to difficult for her to track. It was also the feeling of being something totally different than she grew up being, while she does enjoy the quiet more it was amazing to see life from a different perspective.

All of these cases end up being printed in the papers that get read by her Uncle Louis and while he understands that she is an independent adult, he saves them if and or when William comes home for him to look through and to see what he wishes to do with her.

[typellblog]

Nisemonogatari - An Analysis

Being a siscon really did not help with this one.

With Kizu I could somewhat pretend that it was its own isolated arc despite the absurd length, but as the cast ever-expands it becomes more and more difficult to act as though I’m only writing about one character at a time here. 

Indeed, we even have mini-scenes for each of our previous heroines. These are deeply oriented around fanservice, albeit in a way that actually also contributes to the characterisation of everyone spotlighted here. (Not that I can say the same for those involving his sisters, later.)

Hitagi gets to indulge her most sadistic impulses in a way I don’t think we ever see again beyond this point, Kaiki serving as both catalyst for her kidnapping Koyomi and catalyst for her changing in a more substantial way in the future. 

The mystery of Hachikuji continuing to hang around is once again raised, along with ominous foreshadowing of what this might mean for her future. She starts to emerge as a surprisingly mature character, her gags more obviously deliberate, her advice surprisingly helpful.

Nadeko is given a chance to pursue her one-sided crush on Koyomi. Her techniques are childish but reveal a surprising amount of . . . cunning? Malice? Foreshadowing for her later arcs. In any case, Koyomi remains completely oblivious.

I think the most interesting part of Kanbaru’s scene here is an indication that she’s not as much of a pervert as she presents herself to Koyomi as, and indeed to Koyomi is the operative term here, because as we hear from Hanekawa when Koyomi tries doing impressions of his friends (great scene, shame it was cut in the anime), Koyomi might have quite a different impression of Kanbaru than others do. 

Speaking of Hanekawa, she’s the only one that seems to be actually folded into the main plot this time, but simultaneously she feels like she’s growing more distant. She doesn’t get a directly horny treatment like the other characters, instead focusing on a gag about giving Koyomi permission to touch her boobs, but if he ever uses it she’ll hate him forever. Notably it establishes a completely different dynamic to her totally accepting attitude in Kizumonogatari.

Her character growth is significant, putting aside the stereotypical class president look in favour of a more ‘normal’ one, arguably something she’s wanted to do for a while. She had a sort of . . . lack of self-awareness of her own abnormality, before. Her role here is as a positive role model, I guess, for the entire set of Araragi siblings. If they’re fakes, she’s the real deal. If they need to be aware of their own weakness and inferiority, she needs to become conscious of her own strength. 

This, of course, doesn’t really make sense until we take a proper look at our arc character.

Karen Bee

To be blunt I struggle to bring myself to like Karen. She feels fake to me. 

I find myself in a similar position to Koyomi in some ways, the mentions of his sisters peppered into the Kizumonogatari novel triggering my own weird sense of jealousy/inferiority.

In theory, I should like Karen. She resembles nobody more closely than Emiya Shirou, probably my favourite protagonist of all time. Although, to avoid the risk of derailing into another Fate/Stay Night essay, I’ll make a different comparison. Someone who himself gets compared to Emiya Shirou all the time. 

Koyomi Araragi.

How come I’m able to get invested into this guy’s story, his justice, his self-sacrificing nature, his stupid, corny, but sometimes really cool lines, and not do the same for his sister?

I think on one level the answer is simple - I’ve spent the past four books inhabiting his perspective. I don’t have any context, for Karen. Who is she trying to save, and why? What difficult decisions does she have to make along the way? The Fire Sisters’ escapades are treated as a gag, occasional mentions of them playing Russian roulette with the Mafia or getting into brawls with the police, but nothing solid. Karen’s trying to save the middle schoolers getting scammed by Kaiki, but I don’t care about them. I’m not given any reason to. 

That’s just a matter of perspective, though. I don’t find it a particularly convincing argument, when Koyomi tells her that her justice is fake because she only acts on the behalf of others. Is that desire itself not beautiful? If you saw the same people suffering that she did, would you not want to help them, too?

I haven’t been shown any of those people, though. So I don’t get it. 

But I’m wasting time with this. I can’t see these people, won’t see them, because I’m living in a different world from Karen. She’s still in middle school, and Koyomi is in high school. This is explicitly called out as being a point of change for him, one where he first began to close himself off to others on account of his self-worth evaporating as he realised the world was more difficult than he had thought. 

Karen and Tsukihi don’t have that, yet. They’re missing the key element that’s driven Koyomi’s whole character progression over these previous four books - the fact that he doesn’t have any friends. Lol. 

But I mean seriously, you see how the problems Koyomi is faced with operate on a completely different level than those the Fire Sisters try to deal with? They have an idea of a clear and simple evil, one that they’ll go to any ends to defeat. 

In comparison - Koyomi isn’t fighting villains. He tries to help the victims of oddities, but they can only save themselves, or so we’re told, making Koyomi seem useless when it comes to the big action scenes. What he struggles to overcome is his vision of himself as a burden, someone whose helpfulness is an unwanted favour and selfishness is a destructive, vampiric urge.

Karen and Tsukihi never once consider the possibility of themselves being burdens. They go off to help people heedless of the potentially destructive consequences (which inevitably seem to result). 

Karen’s ‘acting only on the behalf of others’ is fake to Koyomi because he’s already come to terms with his own selfishness. He couldn’t help Kiss-Shot, couldn’t do what she requested, because her request was to die, and he wanted her to live. The Fire Sisters haven’t yet been faced with such a difficult problem, haven’t yet been asked whether their self-sacrifice is really just self-satisfaction. Koyomi is scared of hurting people. All the time. He makes his decisions with that possibility in mind. That’s something he’s just had to accept. The Fire Sisters don’t seem to worry about that at all. 

When Koyomi tells Karen that before being right, she must be strong, we initially assume he’s talking about physical strength - the ability to defeat one’s enemies. But looking over Koyomi’s past actions, we’ve seen physical strength prove of little use to him time and time again. What he means is the strength of will to not falter in the face of opposition or difficult choices. He may not have been right, when he chose to keep Kiss-Shot alive. But at least he had the balls to do it.

Hanekawa points out he’s really criticising himself with this one. After all, there are plenty of times where he’s failed to show strength, like his struggle to let the second snake go in Nadeko’s case. He couldn’t commit to one course of action or another and risked getting the worst of both worlds. Hanekawa, in contrast, always commits to the bit, never giving away in the slightest that she had feelings for Koyomi after he started dating Hitagi. She’s almost too strong, that was her problem according to Oshino, and indeed in doing so she ended up hurting herself as much as she helped other people.

She has to be aware of her own strength, not act as though everything she’s doing is perfectly normal, hold off on dragging everyone with her directly to the right answer.

In the same way that Koyomi has to be aware of his own weakness, to know he can’t solve everything on his own, and not be afraid to ask for help. 

In the same way that Karen hasn’t quite internalized it, that evil and good aren’t always so obvious, that you need to be ready for getting your ass kicked, and maybe you should have asked a couple of people to come with you.

When Koyomi and Karen fight, he gets the shit beaten out of him, but he still clearly wins. Karen struggles to articulate her viewpoint when faced with an actual objection, and eventually gives in, reassured by Koyomi that he never thought what she was doing was wrong.

Hmmm. I notice that I haven’t discussed Karen’s associated oddity yet, the bee. Interestingly enough, it’s just not that important to her arc. It doesn’t influence her personality or behaviour at all, like many of the other characters’ oddities. It just makes her sick. 

Oshino’s old adage proves true to an extent - the bee does appear for a reason, in the sense that Koyomi says it's her own damn fault, for going up against Kaiki alone. She gets what she deserves! A bit harsh, perhaps. It’s also her own fault in the sense that her overactive imagination is part of what stimulates its effects so much - the bee is a fake oddity, clinging to a fake person, someone who plays make-believe in such a way that they’re susceptible to a fake disease. 

Obviously the fire association with the bee makes sense for her, especially in regard to how it becomes a fever, getting heated up because of justice leads to her pushing herself too hard and burning out. Blah blah blah whatever. The symbolism doesn’t interest me, because I think the far more important thing about the bee is that it��s not representative of a larger problem. Karen acts fairly similarly before and after being afflicted. She isn’t saved by anyone else, but you’d have to stretch to say she saved herself, either. Unlike Koyomi, she has friends. Unlike Hitagi, she doesn’t have difficulty reaching out to others. Unlike Kanbaru, she doesn’t have a hidden side to her, a wish that she can’t fulfill.

I said it already, but the Fire Sisters don’t have regrets. They don’t have any lingering trauma. They’re the ones causing problems for other people, supremely confident in their own righteousness. They may be fakes, but in a sense they’re a lot more real than the rest of the cast.

Tsukihi Phoenix

Well, at least that’s the case for Karen, whose outside image and inside personality are perfectly aligned. For Tsukihi, on the other hand, there’s a bit of a disjunction. 

Alright, I guess we’re doing Tsukihi too. I wasn’t exactly planning on both at once when I started this, but I suppose at this rate I have enough room.

What, I haven’t talked about Kaiki yet? God, who cares. What do you want me to say, here. He’s a fake that’s accepted his fakeness in the same way Koyomi asks of Karen. A withered branch to Koyomi’s sapling, the third stage in the Araragi evolutionary tree. I don’t quite get it, how exactly this man is supposed to be Koyomi taken to his logical extent. He’s evil, but in a very deliberate way. He’s not convinced of his own justice, has no interest in promoting his position. He almost feels like he’s playing a character. I’ll get back to him in later arcs, but for now I think the important thing to note is something I mentioned last time - as a male character, his role is more about mirroring Koyomi than being someone Koyomi ought to forge a connection with. As an adult specialist, his arc is complete, so to speak. There’s nothing in him to change or that needs changing.

He’s the polar opposite of the Fire Sisters in that way. They’re too young to have changed yet, not quite mired in the coming-of-age plotline that ensnares this story’s main characters. Kaiki isn’t an arc character, doesn’t need to be won over by Koyomi, but neither does Karen, really. 

Koyomi already has a deep enough relationship with his sisters - just look at their openings, the lyrics addressed to a vague listener that’s almost him but feels far too idealised, his image cropping up again and again in their visuals. In Platinum Disco, he overshadows Tsukihi from the background, closing his mouth over her and forcing her to dance headlessly. His influence over her is obvious, almost total. In Marshmallow Justice, he’s buffeted around by the currents of Karen’s flames, speaking to a more antagonistic relationship, her trying to insist on her righteousness to him.

This is an established, regular part of their dynamic. If anything, the biggest change to their relationship doesn’t happen in the arc where Karen is afflicted by an oddity, it’s the toothbrush scene at the start of Tsukihi Phoenix. (Which still baffles me in a lot of ways, but I really don’t want to get bogged down in it right now).

I said it already, but Karen’s oddity doesn’t really represent any deep-rooted psychological issues for her - it’s fake.

Unlike Karen, however, Tsukihi’s oddity is of immense significance to her. Not just in terms of its importance to this arc, but all the way down to its influence on her personality and behaviours. After all, Tsukihi herself is the oddity.

The Shide no Tori, an immortal oddity that adapts to its surroundings. It’s volatile, mercurial, constantly renewing itself. It’s also eternal. The core of the thing is that it has no core, no consistent personality, and as such must take cues from those around it. Tsukihi acts according to her whims, but in the end remains incredibly dependent on others, latching onto them to give her a purpose. 

Her justice is fake in the sense that it’s been picked up from Karen and Koyomi. It’s not at the core of her being. 

She doesn’t have the same drive for it that Karen does, and as such tends to follow her sister’s initiative.

But, similarly to Koyomi, she does have the ability to regenerate from fatal danger. Just as he would throw himself into danger to help his friends even without it, she’s said to have thrown herself off a building to help Karen without even knowing she has the ability.

In comparison to Koyomi’s selfish, half-assed vampirism, a healing ability that has him straddling life and death without really making progress in any fight, Tsukihi’s immortality is pure. Instant. Perfect. There are no consequences. 

There are no consequences. She doesn’t regret because she isn’t given anything to regret. Learning about the supernatural would threaten the Shide no Tori’s position as a normal human, so the memories of being killed are wiped from her mind when she wakes up.

Of course she would throw herself into danger to save someone else. She doesn’t really have a ‘self’ to value in the first place. Everything important to her comes from other people. Koyomi faces immense self-loathing for a similar reason. Tsukihi doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, though. Perhaps she can’t be.

She knows her sense of justice is a bit different from her siblings, and she considers the possibility of the Fire Sisters breaking up. The possibility of Karen changing when she reaches highschool, in the same way Koyomi did. The implication being that Tsukihi would not, floating from hobby to hobby without ever forming a permanent attachment to anyone, constantly reinventing herself like a phoenix rising from the flames. 

That’s the Shide no Tori. A clever fake that keeps itself from being noticed by imitating a normal human. Kaiki might say that a deliberate fake may have more value than the original, but even the deliberateness of it is carefully removed, not allowing the host awareness of anything related to their condition. 

In that sense she’s not any more or less human than her siblings. 

That is, I suppose, the main conflict of this arc. It’s centered on Tsukihi but doesn’t involve her - how can it, when her entire gimmick involves being unaware of what’s going on around her?

Koyomi is opposed by the exorcist sisters Ononoki and Kagenui. Just as Kaiki mirrors Koyomi, they mirror the Fire Sisters. The older, physically inclined, human. The younger, an oddity. And they claim to be defenders of justice.

This is the tricky part about justice, which Koyomi has been trying to impart to Karen. Most people think their actions are justified. Someone like Kaiki is an absurd exception. How can you insist on being right when your opponents also claim they’re on the side of justice? We’re not getting a good answer to that in this book. 

Perhaps I’m starting to understand a little how Koyomi is like Kaiki, here. Because he doesn’t claim to be on the side of justice. He never even tries. He gives up that battle before it starts. He’s not on the side of humans. He’s not on the side of oddities. Like the time with Kiss-Shot, he’s nothing more or less than on the side of the person he chooses to protect. 

Little sisters are more important than justice. A sentiment I can get behind.

In any case, there’s something a little bit off about Kagenui here. Part of her motivation is hoping to meet Oshino and in his absence she takes on a little of his role - viewing Koyomi as a human, rather than a monster. 

Something must have set her off, Koyomi thinks, when she starts talking about him forcing his ideals on others. He might be fine with leaving Tsukihi alone, but what would Karen think? His parents? Tsukihi herself? Wouldn’t she become a real problem if she was aware of her true nature as an oddity?

He responds by saying he’s allowed to force things on his family. Once again, he’s okay with being a bit selfish, a bit of a burden. Koyomi’s sisters aren’t like the other girls he meets throughout the series. He doesn’t need to win them over, doesn’t need to break down the barriers between them and come to a complete understanding - he already does understand them.

Tsukihi being an oddity prompts realizations on his part, but nothing he didn’t already know. He already understands and accepts the entirety of her, in the same way they do for him. So he doesn’t need to worry about forcing something that can’t ever be repaid on her. He’d accept the same for her. They would, all three of them, happily die for each other, and they know it.

Something must have set Kagenui off, talking about this topic, and it seems to relate to her relationship with Ononoki. Are they real sisters, or fakes? Wouldn’t it be a real problem if an immortal oddity was aware of her true nature and tried to practice justice regardless? Kagenui argues that Tsukihi would be cruel and arrogant in the pursuit of it, having been freed from the constraints of human reason. 

Koyomi thinks of the former Heart-Under-Blade, someone who was obscenely over-the-top and utterly inhuman. I think of Ononoki Yotsugi, quick to violence, quick to insults, saying she’d be fine if this entire world of fakes was destroyed.

Yep, Kagenui is definitely a bit off, here. Too concerned with matters we aren’t really privy to, at the moment. It’s like the fight with Karen all over again - Koyomi gets the shit kicked out of him, but in the end he’s still standing, and his opponent wavers a little. Finally learning “a lesson ten years in the making”. 

She talks about the inherent nature of humanity, the doctrine of innate evil. If we suppose that people are born evil, then any good act requires putting on a fake persona. Like Hanekawa and Koyomi talked about in Kizu, self-sacrifice vs self-satisfaction. They both think of themselves as faking it, only acting like they’re truly ‘good’, but according to Kagenui’s proposal, there’s no such thing as being truly good. The truest good is in trying to be good, a deliberate imitation. A fake that has more value than the original.

So, where does that leave us? One really has to wonder about Koyomi’s decision to not tell Tsukihi (or even Karen) anything about the supernatural. Another selfish decision, in the vein of what he did to Kiss-Shot. It’s in character, at least. 

I think it’s interesting how he describes it, after kissing her. There was a time where Koyomi was an only child. There was a time when he only had one sister. But for her entire life, there wasn’t a single moment where Tsukihi wasn’t the little sister of him and Karen. Nisemonogatari is about family, and family, for Tsukihi, is something that she can define herself in relation to. It’s a permanent attachment, created by the circumstances of her birth. Like a cuckoo, the Shide no Tori leaves its young in the nest of another family to prepare them for facing the world. Tsukihi isn’t ��really’ from the Araragi family, in the same way that she doesn’t ‘really’ have a sense of justice like the other two. But in her deliberate attempt to adopt it- well, you know how it goes.

Koyomi doesn’t need to tell her about the supernatural, about the fact that she’s a phoenix, because in a meaningful sense she isn’t one. She’s his sister. She’s Karen’s sister. That’s good enough. 

Koyomi’s last lines are strangely poignant, contradicting the usual epilogue format by occurring before he’s woken by his sisters the next morning. “I got way more involved than usual, but there was no point in staying there forever. For now, I’ll go back to my room and change.”  I feel like it’s a comment on the blending of worlds that’s been going on here - he’s part of the backstage, as Hachikuji puts it. His sisters are at the front. He’s entering the adult world, while they’re still kids. There’s a sense that he shouldn’t get too involved in their incidents, and vice versa. 

A hopeful reading would be that like Koyomi, they’ll also change. In their own time, at their own pace, in their own way.

But that’s all for now. I managed to be somewhat normal about Tsukihi. Somehow. 

[xandermorrisonmusic]

Song of the day: Porter Robinson - Russian Roulette

Genre: Hyperpop, Happy Hardcore

This one is going to be hard to talk about. TW: Self harm, suicide

This song is the only example I can think of where it is too powerful to be added to my regular listening catalogue. I'm serious, if this thing comes up at any point, I'm tearing up at a minimum. It's the best song off of this excellent album, which as a whole is about Porter's awkwardness and missteps as an adult so far in his life. And I respect that, because there's plenty of stories of how awkward teenage years are, but as a 24 year old living an awkward life, I'm glad to see my era represented so closely to what I experienced myself, for better or worse.

Let's rip the bandaid off right now, I've come very close to killing myself. As in, the only thing stopping me from attempting an overdose was my own lack of energy stopping me from getting out of bed. Obviously this isn't one to one with russian roulette, but since it wasn't certainly going to kill me, it felt like the same kind of gamble: the one I wanted to lose.

The pressures Porter describes that lead him to this point are something on a scale I couldn't imagine. He's a superstar producer, one of the biggest names in electronic music, and one that has a track record of consistently putting out very high quality work. He talks about how he feels this pressure throughout this album, including the opener where he basically voices his fear over releasing something his fans don't like and tarnishing a pretty spotless discography, but in this track, he specifically mentions things like Pitchfork calling him "the next big thing" and wanting to make money off of his identity and prestige, which clearly doesn't sit well with him. But feeling that he has no other way out of that situation once he's been entrenched in it, he contemplates playing russian roulette as a means of escape. He also mentions a friend losing his head and not doing anything about it, which may specifically be a nod to the late Avicii. Porter has cited Avicii's death as a wake up call for him (and many others in the scene) to get sober, and while I don't know if they were close friends or not, Porter feels that they were close enough that he should've done something.

So there he is, two verses and two choruses saying how much he wants to die, plus an extra quiet repeat chorus which forces listeners to get uncomfortably intimate with him in what could be his final moments. But then out of that quietness comes instead a list of reasons why he wants to stay alive, at least for a bit longer. The first one is the most impactful to me: "I wanna see my mom one more time." My mom died after a looong battle with cancer a little over a year ago, and I have to say, you often take for granted what you have until it's gone. If I had known how much I miss her now, she would've been at the top of my list too in my darkest hours.

He lists off several things like that. "I wanna kiss my cat one more time" also hits hard since I have two cats, one of which is newer to the house and is sleeping on me as I type this. "I wanna thank my dad one more time." "I wanna play in the snow one more time." "I wanna marry her one more time." And after listing off enough of these, he comes to the realization that he doesn't really want to go through with this, repeating the simple yet VERY powerful "I wanna live, I don't wanna die" over and over into one of the biggest drops on the album, an all out happy hardcore rave of positive energy at the revelation that he does have things to live for.

Cheesy? Maybe. But in the aftermath of the drop, a goofy text to speech voice comes in to address that, saying "Clichés like this are beautiful, because they reflect us, and we are beautiful" (which is punctuated with a pretty funny YAY sound effect that gets cut off abruptly). And the text to speech voice delivers, very clearly and plainly for those who need it, the moral of the story:

Don't kill yourself, you idiot

And some people need to hear that as unambiguously as possible. If I was 17 or 18, I would be one of those people. This song is literally going to save people's lives, I guarantee it. That's the kind of power I can only wish to reflect on the world if I ever get that big as an artist. Go listen to SMILE! :D and let me know what you think! Such a good album.

[ashleyrowanthewriter]

Rooks of Petersburg - a fanfic of Jaromír Nohavica's Petěrburg

Through the night downpour one could only hear cries of vagrant dogs. From the Tikhvin Cemetery came deafening shrieks as two shadowy shapes sat on its graves.

"Tell me of what you saw tonight, dear Ya," said the bird that sat on a grave with a letter I.

"I remember seeing a white carriage, I," said the other rook. "It carried a woman I see in my flights."

"My flight was similar," said the bird called I. "But my carriage was black. And I saw my woman outside. I remembered her crying at the carriage."

"What do you think it means, I?" asked Ya.

"From what I understand so far my carriage means death," said I.

"Then does my carriage mean life?" asked Ya.

"No. I would rather say it means love," said I.

Ever since the two bird came to that was their existence.

They could not leave the cemetery and they never saw people cross its gate, dead or alive. They did not know their names, so they decided to call themselves after the letters on the gravestones they slept on.

Every night at midnight the two birds felt an instinctive call. They left the cemetery and flew through the city, each in its own direction. During their flights they saw blurry visions. These distant images felt like memories of someone.

In I's visions he could see life of a prince. Meanwhile Ya saw life of a low class man. Both of their visions however shared one thing in common. They both have seen their men with a woman by their side. A woman whom they seemed to love.

"Listen, I, do you think there is a meaning to our flights?" asked Ya.

"I believe they show us our past lives," said I.

"What makes you believe that?" asked Ya.

"It only makes sens that a prince would be given a new life," said I. "It amuses me however why would I be such a low animal as a rook."

"Your logic has to be flawed, I," said Ya. "That would mean that I am a reborn low class."

"Then maybe you died with honour, my friend," said I.

The next night the Moon was close to full and the rain was intensifying. The clocks stroke midnight and the rooks once again felt the call to fly. They circled the air above their graves and flew, each their own way.

Ya saw the man he saw every night. Under his window there was a stray dog yelping at scraps of bread crust. From the city wedding music could be heard. Meanwhile the tenant stuck himself in a game of Russian roulette and only stopped after the bullet flew out.

I meanwhile saw a chapel and heard the orchestra playing wedding music. He still believed he was seeing his past live. As such he believed he saw the marriage of his old self and the woman he loved. For a moment it seemed a lovely scene. But then an unexpected guest entered the chapel with a revolver. I heard shots and shouts from the inside. Then he flew away just as if he got scared by these sounds.

"Tonight flight was difficult to watch," said Ya. "And it would be better for me if your theory about past life was false."

"If it is true then my end was not too nice," said I. "It was actually very gruesome."

"I guess I could say the same about past me," said Ya. "If I may be honest, I'm actually starting to worry about what we might see on the coming nights."

"I think I understand your worries," said I. "What could have caused me such a horrible death?"

That night the rooks told stories of pity and tragedy.

Next night the birds saw the same scene. The woman was rejecting the man who Ya followed and following the man who Igor followed. Just then they heard her name - Nadezhda.

In a few more nights filled with visions the rooks came to conclusions about their lives.

"So I see that it was you who killed me," said I.

"How could I have killed you?" asked Ya. "I could not have done it. It was too early."

"Then how would you explain that shooting?" asked I.

"I do not know, but I can assure that the only person I killed was myself," said Ya.

From his heavenly throne God was watching all of the worlds he has created. Every Middle Earth, every Hell and every Purgatory. He was especially interested in a little Hell where two rooks were closed. He wasn't even sure whether they came from the same Middle Earth or two separate. But their Hell was interesting either way.

*************

I wanted this story to be longer, but I wanted to release it today for a boost in self-esteem. I needed it.

I grew up listening to a disc with Polish translations of Nohavica's songs. Petěrburg had a cover by Andrzej Ozga. Through changes in text and music style I believed that it was a song about a bloody revenge on prince Igor. How great was my surprise when I listened to the Czech original and found out it's actually about a suicide of Nadezhda Ivanovna's lover. It was such a surreal experience that it inspired this story.

Happy Halloween, happy Samhain and happy everything else today!

[tobiasdrake]

Alright. Ghosts exist. Let's take a moment to talk about that.

Tokuichi is a scumbag and his scene mostly serves to deliver exposition on Monaca. He reveals the connection between Monaca and Haiji; They're half-siblings, making Haiji and Tokuichi into the abusive family members in Monaca's background.

And just in case there was any doubt, Tokuichi makes absolutely clear that he's a monster and the world is better off for his death. He's very careful to clarify that so we don't start thinking we should be on his and Haiji's side.

So that's some important info that's dropped. But also, ghosts exist. Komaru mentioned back in chapter 3 that she can see and interact with ghosts. That's just a thing she has.

Which isn't counted as a Talent because superpowers and Talents are different things for some reason. Same reason Sayaka isn't the Ultimate Telepath.

I've heard people classify this moment as a bridge too far. That Ultra Despair Girls jumped the shark when Tokuichi's severed head began talking to Komaru. That this was a "grounded, realistic" series until that moment.

And. Like. Really?

A pop idol reads minds. A high school girl collapsed global civilization by being too sad. The Ultimate Analyst Talent. Teddy bear drones made from tech more complex than NASA. Multiple characters practicing anime-style martial arts. The entire Neo World Program. Yasuhiro definitely, provably can see the future. Nagito's Russian Roulette on hard mode and subsequent luck-driven suicide-roulette. Every single thing about Genocide Jack.

Calling this series grounded is like calling Ace Attorney grounded. Danganronpa has been balls-to-the-wall from the word go. I really don't think "Ghosts are real" is that much more fantastical than anything else that happens in this series.

Some people just have superpowers for no reason. That's just life, man.