#Polka upon ye

[janebonbon]

Did you guys know I am now a proud owner of a used accordian?? I've learned some polka bass chords!

[notcruvusmemes]

someone's day:

what we see:

what we assume:

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Touch of Sweetness 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Loki Laufeyson

Sister series to mob!Thor

Summary: you make a new friend, but that’s not all. (short reader)

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You park among the rows of cars as you vibrate with excitement. You asked Jada one last time if she wanted to come. When you told her Thor would be there, she scoffed and said you’d come back crying when you got stood up.

Silly her, it’s not a date. Derrrr. 

Your mom said it sounded fun but also declined your invitation. Something about the allergies you never knew she had before. You didn’t bother even telling your dad. He doesn’t care much what you’re up to. 

Still, they can’t rain on the day. It’s so sunny and bright and you’re going to have a lot of fun and make a new friend. You hope it’s not awkward. You would hate to be a third wheel. 

You get out and follow a family through the archway that denotes the entrance. You pay your entry fee and they put a red wristband on you. You smile and turn, squeeing as you see the best sign you’ve ever seen in your life; Bunny Patch. What’s that? 

You rush over to the pen of bunnies, between the pie vendor and the berry lemonade stand. This is a lot more than you expected. You fawn at the furry little creatures, some hopping, some lazing around, others chewing on carrots and lettuce. You like the ones with the long hair on their cheeks. So, cute. 

“Sweetness,” the thunderous voice scatters the children at your side. 

You turn to face Thor as he marches toward you, his hand around that of a pretty woman in a red dress. It’s sophisticated and cute with bows on the straps. You’re a bit insecure about your own choice of pink capris and a polka dot blouse with heart buttons. 

“Ah, there she is. Kitten, this is the friend I spoke of. Sweetness, this is my beloved, Queenie,” Thor gestures between you. 

“Hi,” you open and close your hand in an awkward half-wave, suddenly nervous. 

“And...” Thor continues then searches behind him. “Brother, what are you doing?” 

“It smells like rabbit droppings,” a voice slithers behind him. 

“Hm, yes, that would likely be the rabbtis,” Thor tuts. “Here,” He reaches behind him and pulls a man up next to him. An inch short and more than a few less horizontally. The man is lithe, like a cat, his black hair as sleek as his suit. “I’ve brought a fourth to even out our party. My brother, Loki.” 

The man’s green eyes narrow on you and he looks you up and down. He turns to his brother with a crinkle in his nose. He rips his arm from the other man’s grasp roughly, “you’ve brought me to this place for what? To stain my hands on crushed berries?” 

“I brought you here to have fun,” Thor deepens his tone. “So, you will behave and be nice.” 

“Yes, mother,” Loki rolls his eyes. He crosses his arms and turns his chagrin upon the bunnies. “Ugh, filthy animals.” 

You look at the other woman and she seems just as unsettled by the whole affair. “Look at that one,” you step closer to the pen door. “The black one. He looks soft.” 

“Ah, reminds me of you, Loki,” Thor slaps his back as he drags the woman at his side up to the stall. “Look, he even glowers like you. Likely why the others keep their space.” 

Loki huffs and doesn’t say a word. You glance over at the other woman and smile at her sheepishly. She looks back at you with a hollow smile of her own. 

“I like your dress,” you say. “The bows are pretty.” 

“Oh, thanks,” she peeks up at Thor. “It was a gift.” 

“Oo, nice.” You say, “um, are you excited to pick berries?” 

“Yeah, sure, I suppose... it’s nice to get out,” she nods. 

“Go on then, we’ll catch up. Save some room in the baskets,” Thor bends to kiss her cheek then lets her go. “I think my brother needs some of that berry wine to loosen his collar.” 

You smile at them. Thor returns the sentiment but Loki just shakes his head. The latter is led away by a large hand on his shoulder. You exhale and return your attention to the other woman. 

“Have you known Thor a very long time?” You ask. 

“Oh, erm,” she shrugs, “we just... it’s new.” She peers around and points toward the table trading baskets for money. “Let’s go get some berries.” 

“Right,” you agree. 

You cross the dirt and wait your turn in line. You’re a bit awkward. It’s just that new people make you nervous and you didn’t expect Loki too. 

“Have you known Thor a while?” She asks you suddenly. 

You blanch at her, “oh no, I met him the other day. He told me... he wanted me to meet you. That you needed a friend.” 

“Oh, he did? I guess I do,” she says thinly. 

“I’m sorry. You know? If this is too much. If you don’t want to know me.” You sink your chin down. “My own sister doesn’t even like me.” 

“Hm, mine either,” she says. “It’s not your fault. Don’t be sorry.” She sniffs and lets out a sigh. “I really could use a friend.” 

“Me too,” you trill. “What are you going to do with your berries? I wanna try making jam.” 

“I don’t know. Didn’t think about it,” she says. 

“Well, you can think as we pick,” you grab her hand and pull her up to the table as your turn comes. 

You get your baskets and head off into the rows of berries. You scavenge a mostly untouched patch at the far end. You tell Queenie about your sister and her friends. She doesn’t say a lot about herself though. 

“Ah, and have we a full harvest?” Thor stamps onto a bunch of berries and they burst into the dirt. He lifts his foot with a guilty, “oops.” 

“Do watch where you step, brother,” Loki sneers. 

“I find it hard to concentrate with such pretty women around,” Thor turns and squats next to Queenie. He picks some berries and drops them into her basket. “Mother always made a nice strawberry rhubard, didn’t she? She might show you the recipe, kitten.” 

Queenie nods. Loki stays standing, right beside you. You look up as his silhouette darkens in the sunlight. He huffs and says nothing. 

“Brother, you should join in. It’s rather fun. I feel as if I am a farmer in the old days,” Thor muses. 

You take a lush berry and admire the redness. You smell it and take a bite, tasting the sweetness. You hum and another scoff comes from above. 

“What are you doing? That is unwashed?” 

You peer up and chew, swallowing abruptly as you hide the uneaten leaves in the basket. “Nothing,” you lie. 

Thor chortles and murmurs something you can’t make out to Queenie. 

“You will get a parasite,” Loki insists, “you should wash all fruit before consuming.” 

“Can you blame her? She is picking all alone. She needs the sustenance for all her hard work,” Thor taunts. 

Loki flicks his fingers at his brother. He stares down at you tersely. You look down then lift another berry, raising your chin at the same time, “try one.” 

“Are you mad? I just told you. You’ll have worms crawling in your brain.” 

“Hm, well, worth it,” you bite the berry. “They’re yummy.” 

“Don’t--” He bends his knees and swats away what’s left in your hand, “that’s dangerous.” 

Thor purrs under his breath as he reaches across Queenie to dump a handful into her basket. You peel your eyes away from the intimate moment. You shrug and look at Loki. 

“I’ll be fine.” You grab another berry and he catches your hand before you can raise it to your mouth. You turn the berry between your fingers and aim it at him. “Try it.” 

He narrows his eyes. You smile. He lets you go and snatches it. He stares it down and takes the smallest bite of the tip. 

“Tastes like dirt,” he flings it away. “Told you, they need to be washed.” 

“Hmm, well, once we fill the basket, I’ll be sure to do so,” you hold up the wicker. 

He gives it a dull look then reaches to collect berries, pinch by pinch until he has a handful. He tosses them into your basket. You put your focus back to the tangled leaves and stems. This isn’t so bad. Better than Jada and her insults. 

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 18

Staring John Lennon, as that kid I should’ve been nicer to in first grade who always smelled like PB&J and was never to be seen without his pokemon cards

The dancing is really too cute. They’re just absolutely giddy. Making each other laugh AND an excuse to touch? John and Paul’s heaven. 

John saying he was too excited after yesterday to go to bed. Like a fucking kid on christmas.

Everybody is serving today. While the candy-land suit is fun, I actually just love that vivid purple so much that I think it’s better without the coat over it. Billy looks extremely suave and classy.  And those red polka-dots on Ringo. Red suits him, and I think with his very frank, masculine aspect, he looks so beautiful and bold in feminine fits. Paul and John are both just wearing what they wore yesterday. Yeah. But John is still a cutie, and Paul, well, you all know.

The advice chain about finishing a song while you’re working on. Paul → John → George

Paul honestly does a great job being supportive of George and his work. Coming over and grooving with him, then hopping on drums then guitar (right-handed, may I add). Just to give George musical atmosphere to flesh out his song and start thinking of arrangement ideas, I assume. Then letting him bounce ideas around. And the whole time being overly-enthusiastic to build George up. Look how happy George is with the love and attention. 

John helping move some equipment in. We love a man who sometimes doesn’t think he’s too good for manual labor. 

Yes, clean that homeless man’s palm sweat off your instrument. Probably smart. 

TFW you made Paul McCartney jealous of your musical abilities. 

John really knew so well when to be his little impish self and when to be hard and intimidating. Exhibit A, going from, “Can we have our microphones, oh, mister, can we please?” to “And get one for Billy too.” In a matter of seconds.

George Martin stepping in when they’re all getting panicky about the sound and they need an authority figure to reassure them in ways that someone like Glyn Johns never could. Just, perfectly cool and collected, puts everything right as they’re all shouting at him like school children who’ve just had a terrible time in PE. 

“Believe me, when I tell you.” “Oh, I do.” Oh, good. He did put it in. That’s nice. Right, and this is the moment Yoko decides to tell John her divorce has come through and pull him in for a big smooch. Honestly, it just shows how threatened she feels by Paul. Nevermind her whole, “good thing Paul isn’t a girl or he would have been a great threat,” quote. Clearly, he just is a threat regardless of sex.

And then John, “I’m freeeee.” At Paul. Honestly, the amount of things they direct specifically and aggressively at each other that should’ve just been general statements if there wasn’t some weird thing between them. It’s really something. Normally, you’d announce something like that to the whole room. But it seems John specifically wants to impress upon Paul that he and Yoko could get married right now if they wanted to. I mean, it’s a little difficult to make the point, because John and Paul almost aways seem to be talking only to each other. But through the whole discussion of Yoko’s divorce, John does not take his eyes off of Paul. 

Oh my gosh, Ivan Vaughn is here? How many emotional support boyfriends does Paul need to make up for John having Yoko? Glyn, Linda, George Martin, Dennis, Robert Fraser, and now Ivan? Fuck’s sake, Yoko, you’re a powerful woman.   

Paul’s Strawberry Fields piano. Let me be as vulnerable and broken as possible in my singing, since I can’t show you any other way that you’re killing me. Do you remember this song? That you wrote when we were at the height of our partnership only two years ago? How happy we were then? How beautiful the world seemed for that one brief moment? And John can’t look at him, because, yes he fucking remembers and yes he knows he’s hurting Paul. But for whatever reason, (my theory is he wanted something more Paul couldn’t give him. What that was and whether it was ever specifically vocalized I don't have a guess) going back to that time would be more painful to John than this has been.  

So they’ve been goofing off and Paul gives this little speech to get them back on task. “Alright Chawn Love. I’ve gotta call order, John, now, valuable time, here, son. Cool down, son.” But John’s response, “Don’t let me down, babe” completely switches Paul’s gears. He now thinks it’s important enough to get in this little snatch of a *meaningful* cover, “Take these Chains from my Heart,” reversing the course of productivity he’d got them on and ignoring the fact that they were about to do a take on two-shilling-a-foot tape. My interpretation of this moment is a bit tin-hatish and long, but suffice it to say, John is not happy with the message.

Everyone convincing Paul to do another take of his song is surprising, considering everything we always hear about how Paul was a tyrant task-master who just forced everyone to keep doing his lame muzak over and over when they all clearly hated it. Mal, “You can always go back to it.” Paul, “Do you want your head kicked in?” John, “We’ll never get a chance to do it again.” Paul, “Okay, honey bunch. Let’s hit it one time, tutti-frutti.” 

Yoko watching Paul check out her boyfriend’s ass. Classic. Also the fact that she literally copied his outfit? I get so much second-hand embarrassment for her, and it’s not when she’s being a weirdo and a statement-maker. It’s the having to physically stick the gum you were offering your boyfriend into this hand because he won’t take his eyes off his boyfriend for two seconds to look at you. 

Everyone laughing at Perfect Paul being out of tune is so funny to me. Like when the nerd finally gets a question wrong and the whole class is all “ooooohhhh!”

Ringo having a grand old time on the drums. I love that he just knew that’s what he wanted to do from such a young age and he never wanted to do anything else. And why would he? He’s a genius at it.

Paul. “John’s got something at 1:30 and so have I.” Smirk emoji. Side-eye emoji. George is with me. “Yeah we've got something too. I’ll do Ringo at 1:30.” I'm dead.

This moment right here hurts me. Paul’s enjoying a nice cuddle with Ringo until he remembers the camera. You’re not going to get in trouble for having your friend’s arm around your shoulders, Paul. Why are you like this? 

[turneradora]

Here are the press article from the Radio Times magazine.

Thanks again to Emma Jones for the written version ! 🙏🥰

Rutting in Rutshire!

Bouffants, bounders and creaking beds… Jilly Cooper reveals why Rivals is her favourite book (and shares the secret of a happy marriage)

‘Buckets of electric blue eye shadow, heaving shoulder pads atop polka dot and pinstripe suits, haystacks of bouncy hair, kept in place by enough lacquer to fuel a rocket – it feels like I’m back at school getting ready for the end-of-term disco. In fact, I’ve walked onto the set of Rivals, Disney+’s big-budget adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s 1988 bestselling bonkbuster.

We’re inside a huge restaurant in Gloucester, which is doubling up for a posh eaterie in the novel’s fictional Rutshire of 1986. Waiting to make his entrance is Aidan Turner, sporting a moustache to make Tom Selleck proud, in the role of TV chat show host Declan O’Hara. Other names on the call sheet include David Tennant as the cartoonishly named Lord Baddingham, Danny Dyer as big-of-heart, bigger-of-wallet Freddie Jones, and Alex Hassell as the polo player-turned-Tory minister and one-man shagathon, Rupert Campbell-Black. It’s quite the starry cast, but despite all the familiar faces in the room, there is an audible hush upon the arrival of one small, smiling figure through the door – Dame Jilly herself is in the building.

Later, in a quiet corner, she expresses her enthusiasm for the project in exactly the selfeffacing, giggly and gushing style you would expect from the creator of such scrumptious literary – and now TV – fare: “It’s miraculous!” What about the producers? “They’re brilliant, they don’t really need me.” This is clearly not true. With 45 titles to her name since her light-hearted guide to wedlock How to Stay Married debuted in 1969 and 11 million books sold in the UK alone, Cooper is best known for her Rutshire Chronicles, an 11-strong set of door-stopping tomes that began in 1985 with Riders and follow the antics of the horsey set in bedrooms and boardrooms, stables and swimming pools. Rivals, the second in the series, focuses on the very 1980s idea of a battle to secure a regional TV franchise. “I think of all the books I’ve written,” says Cooper, “Rivals is my favourite. The battle for franchises in those days was so strong. And people made absolute fortunes."

The ideas he presented were lovely and he was lovely. It just happened.” She grins. “Plus, the fact that he is double-barrelled, that’s nice.”

As is her priapic protagonist. Rupert Campbell-Black is at the centre of the new drama, as he is in the books, and was the one bit of casting over which Cooper exercised her veto. “I thought Alex (Hassell) wouldn’t be right, he wasn’t blond, but then I met him and… he is very attractive.” Campbell-Black is a composite of two real-life, double-barrelled men, Rupert Lycett Green and Andrew Parker Bowles, as well as the Earl of Suffolk and Berkshire, all of whom the author met soon after she and her husband Leo moved to the Cotswolds in 1982.

“I’d just moved to the country and met these heavenly men, they became great friends and and I was able to study how an upper-class man would behave there.” Do her friends mind appearing in her novels? “Oh no, they love it.”

Campbell-Black may have wall-bouncing charisma, but he’s not entirely chivalrous with its deployment. Is that OK? “People do behave badly,” says Cooper. “They certainly did in the 1980s. Rupert has good qualities. He’s lovely to his dogs, he’s a good MP and he adores his wife. They fall madly in love with each other. Lots of men are frightfully promiscuous until they find their true love.”

Does she believe men like Campbell-Black are at risk of being squashed out of society today? “Yes. When did you last see a fantastically attractive man on television in drama recently?” Hmm, Poldark? Another grin. “He’s in my story. I love good-looking, glamorous, funny, macho men.”

Cooper’s own great romance was with Leo, her publisher husband of 52 years until his death in 2013. She says: “Happiness in marriage comes from creaking bed springs, not so much from sex but from laughter. Well, a bit of both, but definitely laughter. He was lovely, funny, clever, full of military history and kind. He loved cats and I loved dogs, so we worked that out.” She is perhaps referring to his well-documented 1980s affair that rocked, but didn’t ruin, their marriage when she says, “Obviously ups and downs, but when you go through a down, you just hang on and hope it gets better”.

Cooper’s stories are all as raunchy as they are romantic – “I just like people to be happy,” she smiles – but in between all the muddy boots, labradors on mats and shepherd’s pies on kitchen tables, there are progressive layers to be found in both the books and now the TV adaptation. The female characters are strong and self-determining. “The women in those days were seduced, and were seductive,” Cooper says, before adding wistfully, “Beautiful men and women… and they didn’t fight so much.”

Have love and romance changed in the 30 years since the book came out? She sighs. “Half of teenage children are brought up without their parents staying together. It’s so sad. Happy marriage is the best recipe for life and if people can try to stay together, they should try to make it work. The world is very frightening now. Don’t give up on things easily.”

In real life, Cooper counts among her set Andrew Parker Bowles’s first wife Camilla, now better known as Her Majesty, of whom the author can’t say enough good things. “She’s a friend of mine. I adore her and I think she’s going to be a wonderful queen. She looks beautiful at the moment, she’s become very glamorous.” And, of course, a real-life totem of Cooper’s favourite thing, a happy ending.

”‘FOR JILLY TO APPROVE MY RUPERT WAS IMPORTANT’

ALEX HASSELL PLAYS RupeRt Campbell-blaCk

You were chosen from hundreds of possible actors to play Jilly Cooper’s romantic lead. Did you feel the pressure of expectation?

Initially, I wasn’t sure I’d get the part, I’m not blond or blue-eyed and I’m not from that world, but it’s important to me to live up to a certain Rupert-ness. To have Jilly’s seal of approval was very important.

Where did you go for inspiration?

I’ve met two of the men she based him on, which was helpful. But once on set, you put on your costume and start to feel it.

Or take your costume off…

How did you prepare for that naked tennis scene?

By trying not to get intimidated! If I did have nerves, that day was important as I had nothing to hide behind and it was a naked crucible through which to believe myself as Rupert.

With his arrogance and privilege, is Rupert a force for good?

It depends… He’s reaching middle age and rattling around in his house with just dogs and horses for company, and he’s realising that past choices aren’t going to end well for him. But there is a core of goodness there.

IT’S A PERIOD PIECE LIKE DICKENS’ DAVID TENNANT PLAYS

Lord Tony Baddingham

What was the appeal of Rivals? Before I’d even opened the script, my wife Georgia saw the title and told me I was going to be in it, so any element of choice was taken away from me. She had quite a visceral reaction to it and has been a champion of the whole thing. Did a little part of you want to play Rupert Campbell-Black? It didn’t really matter who I played. But I couldn’t compete with Alex for Rupert. I think Lord Tony Baddingham is a more natural fit for me.

Tony is the resident baddie. Do you have any sympathy for him?

He doesn’t see it that way, he’s just doing what he needs to do in order to survive. Objectively, I can see that some of the things he does aren’t particularly morally robust. It’s all Daddy issues. I don’t think Tony is difficult to make sense of, he’s very plausible. The characters all have drama to them, but they’re nuanced and make sense. You’re not struggling to join the dots, they’re well-crafted and that’s why Jilly’s books have survived. There is a quality in this work that makes it timeless.

Would these characters be believable in a more modern setting?

No, they are entrenched in the politics and mores of that era. It was such a specific moment in time – all that excess; Margaret Thatcher saying there was “no such thing as society”. It changed how people were allowed to think and certain people grabbed it, ran with it and wallowed in it. These characters all swim in that swamp.

The big battle in Rivals is to win a TV franchise. Is the story still relevant?

It’s not something we really have an understanding of now. When I first read the scripts, I thought, “Are the stakes of this going to make sense?” But it doesn’t matter what they’re competing over, it’s just who they are and that’s what drives them and that feels very alive and human.

What kind of portrait of 1980s England do we see in Rivals?

Jilly Cooper is a great chronicler of the human condition. It’s a period piece like a Dickens drama. You can marvel at how different some things were and how similar other things were. That’s part of the joy.

What did you love most about the 1980s?

I’ve loved rediscovering the music. I was a teenager during those years, so there was a lot of music it wasn’t cool to like. But some of these tunes are banging.

‘A WOMAN WITH RED LIPS KNOWS HER BUSINESS’

NAFESSA WILLIAMS PLAYS Cameron Cook

You were born and raised in West Philadelphia, a long way from Jilly Cooper’s Rutshire. What drew you to the role of TV producer Cameron Cook?

It was the script, plus how smart Cameron is. You have this black woman in a white man’s world in the 1980s, being able to run a company. She’s very fashionable, very strong, very grounded in who she is — and very comfortable in her sexuality.

She’s very distinctive. Did you have a particular style influence?

The singer Sade was a big inspiration for how Cameron looked, with the flicked back ponytail and the long braids.

Would you resurrect any of that era’s distinctive fashion?

I loved the high waists, the belts, the hair. It was all bigger, bolder, brighter. We don’t see as many red lips and nails now as we did back then — that speaks of a lot of confidence and sexiness, and being bold. A woman with red lips and red nails knows her business. Bring some of that back!

‘THERE WAS AN INSTANT TRUST WITH AIDAN’ VICTORIA SMURFIT PLAYS

Maud O’Hara

Maud doesn’t seem very satisfied with her lot as Declan’s wife and is very open to temptation… She is a very complicated, insecure, broken butterfly who exists on validation. She’s feeling down, she wants every man to fancy her, and her selfishness drives her to where she wants to go.

Had you met Aidan Turner, who plays your screen husband, before?

I didn’t know Aidan, but there was an instant trust. We barely talked about how our characters operated, we just knew they were existing in an English hierarchy, as this scrappy, passionate Irish family. We instantly knew where we were at.

Does Jilly Cooper treat her female characters well?

When you watch the whole arc of all the different women, by the time you get to the end, it feels like a feminist piece. All of the female characters play their politics out the way they want to — some get what they want and some get what they need.

Maud is very colourful in her mood and clothes. Did you have fun with your costumes?

Maud is more boho 70s than the others. The costumes did a lot of the work for us. As soon as we put on our clothes, it felt like we knew who our characters were.

I BASED DECLAN ON MY DAD’

AIDAN TURNER PLAYS Declan O’Hara

When you got the script for Rivals, did a little part of you want to play romantic rogue Rupert Campbell-Black, as opposed to Irish chat show host Declan O’Hara?

No, not one single bit. Alex [Hassell] does it better. It’s a best person for the role thing. There are very few Irish actors who can do Declan O’Hara as well as me, know what I’m saying? My eyes were always on the O’Hara prize.

How familiar were you with Jilly Cooper’s books before you were cast?

I remember dating an Irish girl who loved Jilly Cooper. She was in the atmosphere, but I hadn’t read the books until I started shooting. On the first day of filming, I got into the trailer and there was a copy of Rivals. We already had all the scripts, but we could use the book as a reference for tone. It was great to have it there.

Declan has quite a distinctive look. Where did you go for inspiration?

There’s something of my dad, who had a moustache all through the 1980s and 1990s. I lightly based a lot of Declan’s character on my dad — he sounds like him and has his physicality. Plus Declan is a dad, and I’m a father now, too. I felt I made a lot of connections.

Was there a TV interviewer or chat show host you studied beforehand?

Declan’s an amalgamation. There are some modern British presenters, but someone I went to a lot was the host of the American debate show Firing Line, William F Buckley. His show was political, smoky, quite serious, slow-paced and high-brow — all the things Declan would love.

You’ve been interviewed many times before. What did you discover about life on the other side of the microphone?

When you’re interviewing someone, there’s power because you can ask what you want, but it’s about building up the trust. If you just lambast people, you won’t get to a second season — people have to respect you.

These things are important to Declan. Even the word “chat” irks him slightly. Rivals is set firmly in the 1980s. What would you like to bring back from that decade?

The lack of telecommunications and mobile phones. As we see in the show, it forces people into situations that could be easily solved with a phone call. The characters can’t contact someone on the other side of the county, they have to show up unannounced at their house. There’s a lawlessness, a looseness, an unpredictability.

‘I MISS THE SHOULDER PADS’

KATHERINE PARKINSON PLAYS Lizzie Vereker

Lizzie is the sweetest of the local women, but she can be easily led by her Rutshire neighbours… Lizzie gets caught up with the snobbery of the world she’s in, and she does that thing of joining in with the crowd for survival. Then when Freddie Jones [Danny Dyer] arrives and they mock him, she’s chastened.

It takes an outsider to come in and hold a mirror up to these people. The married but neglected Lizzie embarks on an affair with Freddie. Did you approve?

They are both quite pure and drawn to each other for the right reasons, so it’s actually a positive thing. You want these characters to find themselves again.

Rivals is set in 1986. Have things got better for women since then?

My mother’s generation were more likely to sacrifice their talents for the sake of their husbands. I think that’s definitely evolved since the time Jilly Cooper was writing about, but it’s helpful to look back and see what still needs to change.

In your opinion, what was better about the 1980s?

The earrings… and the shoulder pads.

‘I’VE NEVER CLAIMED TO BE A HARD MAN’

DANNY DYER PLAYS Freddie Jones

Tech millionaire Freddie Jones is a lot softer than the “hard” men you usually play?

I don’t know where that comes from. I know I’m a working-class actor, I swear a bit and walk like a duck with a swagger, but I’ve never claimed to be a hard man. When I was in EastEnders, I wore a pink dressing gown. But this is something different and, for me as an actor, I needed an opportunity to look different. I don’t get many opportunities to do that. Even my biggest haters through their gritted teeth might have to accept that Freddie is a nice, watchable character.

Was that your real hair?

I wish. I had it all clipped on. What a bouffant it is! I’ll cling on to what I have for dear life, but I accept it. I’m a grandfather now, I’m allowed to go bald.

Freddie is the richest of all the characters, but an outsider in Rutshire. Is he the real top dog?

There’s a kindness behind the eyes of Freddie, but he’s a teddy bear with a bite. He has no desire to be top dog, but when he needs to put his foot down, he does. I fell in love with him when I read the script.

One scene, where Freddie and his wife are mocked by the Rutshire set, makes for uncomfortable viewing...

There’s an element of classism and other -isms in the show. As much as they want Freddie and his money around, they also look down their noses at him.

In 2018, you accused David Cameron of “putting his trotters up” instead of working hard. How did it feel going to Gloucestershire, the stomping ground of Cameron and his pals?

It’s not the world I come from. But this is set in the 1980s, we’re in a different era and environment now, but we’re true to how it was.

Freddie also develops a slowburn, hard-earned romance with Lizzie Vereker…

They’re both in marriages where they feel suppressed and don’t feel seen. Hopefully, the audience will root for us to have an affair, which is a strange thing as it sounds awful.

Do Freddie and Lizzie get a suitably Cooper-esque sex scene?

You’ll have to keep watching. Things take a surreal turn.

What was the best aspect of the 1980s? Anything you miss?

I think we have far too much technology now. I have children who can’t understand how we survived without mobile phones. I feel it was slightly less complicated in the way we engaged with each other: sitting down, making eye contact.

EMILY ATACK PLAYS

SARAH STRATTON

Your character, the wife of the Tory deputy Prime Minister, appears very manipulative and conniving. Did you enjoy playing her?

She’s a car crash, but she’s ambitious, smart and a bit sick of being told all her life she’s a ditzy blonde. Particularly at the time this is set, women felt there was little other option for them but to use their sexuality to get what they wanted. Characters like her are often written as unlikeable, but there are lots of hidden layers and vulnerabilities.

Her look is very much of her time. How did you go about creating it?

My morning pick-up times were the earliest of the entire cast. Hours and hours in hair and make-up — so much hairspray and backcombing. At my first fitting for costume, I thought, “I’m never going to fit into that,” but with a pair of Spanx we were good to go. And I bought some cheap 80s perfume, which I wore every day.

For one famous scene of naked tennis with Rupert Campbell Black, there are no clothes at all. How did that feel?

The whole cast were warned early on that there would be nudity and sex scenes, so you knew what you were getting into. The sex is integral to the scenes and the characters, and the tennis scene is very famous, so I wanted to get it right. Alex [Hassell] and I talked it through with the director, to make sure we felt comfortable. It was a closed set. I felt very safe, and I had a great spray tan.

Last year you made a documentary about the sexual harassment you’ve received for several years. Did you hesitate to take this role, or did you feel defiant?

You can’t win whatever you do. If you keep your clothes on you’re a frigid nun, if you take your clothes off you’re a tart. But I love my job and if a role I’m playing requires nudity and it’s integral to the story and I’m safe, I’m exactly where I should be. I’ve learnt it’s not my behaviour that needs to be looked at and changed, it’s other people’s. I’ve learned to take back the narrative that was taken from me — my sexuality, my body. These kinds of roles are fun. I’m still young and it’s OK to feel liberated. I enjoy what I do. And it’s Jilly Cooper – it’s an honour to do it!

Since filming, you’ve had a baby. Are you thinking about work again yet?

For nine months solid, I sat on my arse, ate peanut butter sandwiches and watched all of Downton Abbey. So I’ve had my time off, and now I’m back

[kaydreamer]

Viva la Revolution

‘See ya tonight, sunshine.’

During the short walk to her apartment, Hope tried very hard to convince herself that Hancock’s invitation was just friendly drinks and not a date. She tried even harder not to think about how he’d apparently allocated her a pet name, and tried her absolute damndest to believe ‘sunshine’ was probably a term of endearment he used for every girl he took a fancy to.

Then the elevator door slid open, and her eyes fell upon the note he’d written her a few days prior, ‘Good morning, sunshine’ jumping out at her in that eye-catching script.

She groaned at herself. She was not doing this. She was not doing this. He was exactly her type, and her type was invariably bad for her.

She ran a hand through her hair and a small cloud of dust puffed out from it.

“Maybe I should take this shower cold,” she said to Dogmeat. He just tilted his head at her, then pointed his nose toward the pantry where she’d found dog food the last time they were here. She laughed, fetching a second tin and emptying it into a bowl for him as he danced around enthusiastically, splashing the floor with droplets of drool.

“You know, they say the easiest way to a person’s heart is through their stomach,” she said to the dog, as he inhaled the bowl of food. “That’s what this is. He cooked me one breakfast, and now I’ve gone insane.”

Hope left the apartment, refreshed and dust-free, just as the sun was dipping below the barricade outside. She’d decided to leave both Dogmeat and the Minutemen armour behind, telling Dogmeat to be a good boy and enjoy a relaxing snooze.

He hadn’t looked impressed, but he was an obedient fellow, dutifully sitting and watching as the elevator door slid shut.

She caught sight of Daisy as she approached the Third Rail, waving to her with a cheerful smile, which the ghoulish woman returned.

“It seems our illustrious mayor has taken a shine to you, General,” said Daisy.

“Just ‘Hope’ is fine,” she said, sheepish. “I’m sorry to pull him away from you.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” said Daisy. “He takes off like this every now and then. Not often he does it with a pretty thing like you on his arm, but I trust you’ll put him to good use. When are you heading out?”

“Dawn tomorrow,” said Hope. “We’re meeting for drinks at the Third Rail, to see us off.”

Daisy looked Hope up and down, a frown adding extra creases to the twisting lines of her face.

“You’re wearing that?”

It was such an old, familiar line, and so absurdly out of place in the apocalypse, that Hope had to stifle a laugh.

“It’s either this or go naked.”

Daisy’s eyes grew wide for a moment, then she broke into a peal of laughter. “Oh, he’d like that!” She took Hope's elbow. “Here, come with me.”

Daisy led Hope her over to her store and up a staircase to a second level - her home, as far as Hope could tell - where she began to sort through a drawer of clothes.

“You’re about my size, I think. Let’s see… Oh! This will work.” She spun around to Hope, holding a sky blue dress with white polka dots - well-pressed, pretty, and remarkably preserved. It was a playful design, sitting just above the knee, with a white sash around the middle. Daisy held it up in front of Hope and smiled. “Oh yes, that’s perfect. It used to bring out my eyes the same way… Wear this.”

“Daisy, I…” Hope took the dress in her hands, marvelling at it. It was the kind of dress she would have chosen for a summer picnic, or a day by the sea. Wearing it would be like stepping back in time.

“To be clear, I’m lending it to you,” said Daisy, firmly. “That means I want it back.”

Hope laughed, gratitude flooding her. “I remember what lending means, Daisy.”

“Good,” said Daisy. “You must be the only person in Goodneighbor who does.”

“Thank you,” said Hope. “It’s beautiful.”

“You be careful with it, now,” said Daisy. “It’s one of my favourites. Now, wait there. I think I have an old pot of eyeshadow somewhere…”

---

By the time Hancock reached the Third Rail, he was fighting down a nagging headache bought on by the sheer amount of mayoral bullshit he’d just spent the day slogging through. Giving speeches and looking roguishly dashing up on a balcony was one thing, but whoever knew running a town involved so much fucking paperwork?

But that was about to become Fahrenheit’s problem. At least for a while. Right now, his only job was to spend an evening charming his pretty new travelling companion - and mayoral bullshit or not, he intended to treat her to a good night out.

And so, he left his troubles at the door of the Rail, brushing down his coat and nodding to the bouncer, a tuxedo-clad ghoul named Ham, at the top of the stairwell.

“Evening, Hancock,” said Ham. “You’re in for a treat down there.”

“Oh?”

“You’ll see. Enjoy your night.”

His curiosity whetted, Hancock descended the staircase and cast his eyed around for Hope.

Hancock’s breath caught in his throat when he saw her. Hope was wearing a sunny blue dress with barely a fray on it, a crimped scarf decorating her hair. Her face was subtly done up as well, with a hint of gloss on her lips and powder to darken her eyes. She was perched on a stool by the stage, talking with Magnolia, leaning on the bar with a bright smile and looking like a vision from two hundred years ago.

He stood by the entrance for a few seconds too long, staring like a dumbstruck fool. He didn’t think there was a woman alive who could out-glamour the illustrious Magnolia, but Hope was doing a damn fine job of it.

Ham’s comment suddenly made perfect sense. A flirtatious grin bloomed across Hancock’s face as he cleared his throat, sauntering over to the bar.

“Why hello, ladies.”

“Mayor Hancock, what a pleasure,” said Magnolia, greeting him with a dazzling smile. “I’ve just been talking with your lovely new travelling companion. She’s quite the talent, did you know?”

“Not yet, but I’m lookin’ forward to learnin’,” said Hancock, as Hope flushed slightly. “May I offer you ladies a drink?”

“I’ll have to decline,” said Magnolia, graciously. “A professional always keeps her wits about her on stage. Well, I’ll leave you both to it, shall I?” She rose from her seat. “Lovely to meet you, Hope.”

Hancock held out a hand to Hope, tilting his head toward a couch with a good view of the stage.

“My favourite spot is free. Care to join me?”

She took his hand with a dazzling smile of her own. “I’d be glad to.”

Hancock dragged a low table over to the couch once she was seated, brushing off a rebuke from the potty-mouthed, bowler-hatted Mr Handy who tended the bar.

“C’mon, Charlie, you like caps. How are we supposed to enjoy dinner and all the drinks we’re gonna buy without a table?”

“You could choose one of the other bloody tables,” Charlie grumbled, in his rough Cockney accent, but he did return with two pints of beer.

Hancock raised his glass to Hope, drinking in the sight of her as deeply as the beer. 

“Goddamn, you look like ya walked out of a magazine. Where’d ya get that little number?"

“Daisy lent it to me.” The slight flush of her cheeks as she answered was delightful. 

“Hah! She tryin’ to kill me?”

Hope chuckled. “Well, considering I told her my only option other than the vault suit was walking in here naked…?”

Hancock shook his head as he huffed with silent laugher. “Cool, she’s not trying to kill me. That woulda killed me. You gotta remind me to thank her. Not that I don’t love the vault suit, but… damn. Now I feel underdressed.”

They both laughed, sipping their beer as Charlie floated back over with two plates of Brahmin roast and a gruff warning not to spill gravy on the couch.

Hope would also need to thank Daisy again for the dress. It was obviously doing things to Hancock, and although she knew she was playing a dangerous game, she was thoroughly enjoying every flattering glance he sent her way.

“So, indulge my curiosity for a sec,” said Hancock, draping his arm along the back of the couch as he turned to her. “You told me how you joined the Minutemen, but not why. People always got their reasons if they’re riskin’ their lives for a cause. Especially fresh outta a vault.”

Hope lifted her gaze slightly as she considered the question, chewing on a piece of roast brahmin. “It’s… I guess it’s just the kind of thing I assumed I’d be doing anyway, if the bombs ever fell, and I somehow survived them,” she said, with a slight shrug. “I used to be a park ranger, before the war. We have training in-"

Hancock’s brows flew up as he cut her off. “Woah, woah, woah, hold up. Before the war?”

She nodded. “Yeah. The vault I was in, it… they had us cryogenically frozen. I only woke up about a month ago.”

“Are you kiddin' me?” Hancock wore an expression of utter astonishment. “Daisy said you told her you were pre-war. She thought you were havin’ her on.”

Hope tilted her head, curious. “Is it that unusual?”

“Unless you’re a ghoul? Fuck yeah. Unusual doesn’t even begin to cover it. Never heard of a vault freezin’ people before. Did you know they were gonna do that?

Hope’s expression soured as a familiar tangle of emotions rose like bile. “No. It was some sort of… sick experiment,” she said, bitterly. “They were testing it on us. I was the only one who got out alive.” She looked down at the beer cradled in her hands. “The only one other than Shaun.”

Hancock leaned back, his dark eyes wide. “…Fuck. You went under pre-war and you just woke up to… this?” He made a sweeping motion with his arm, as though he meant to include the whole Commonwealth with the gesture. “That’s… wow.”

“You can’t even begin to imagine,” whispered Hope.

“Oh, I got a pretty good imagination.” Hancock winked at her with a cheeky grin, and she smiled half-heartedly, but it fell quickly from her face. She was watching the bubbles rising silently in her glass when Hancock spoke again, his voice soft. “…I bet this world feels like one never-ending bad trip you can’t wake up from, huh?”

His words struck a chord in her, and her breath hitched. “That’s exactly what it feels like.”

“I’m sorry, sister. That’s rough.”

“Yeah.” She look a long swig of her beer and shuddered. “But… I’m here now,” she said, summoning the dogged determination which had driven her since she’d stumbled out into the splintered remains of Sanctuary. “And as messed up as this world is, there are still decent people in it, trying to survive. And people like you, making it a little brighter,” she added, tilting her glass to him with a smile. “And I still have a job to do.”

“What job would that be?”

“To help rebuild,” she said, resolute. “Like I said, I was a park ranger.” Hancock frowned at the job title, looking confused, and Hope realised he probably had no clue what a park ranger was. “We worked in areas of wilderness, had training in all sorts of things,” she explained. “Survival, search and rescue, ecology, first aid, firearms. Pretty much everything you’d want to know if you were trying to survive and rebuild in a ruined world.

“Is that why you went into the vault?”

“Ugh, hell no.” Hope’s face twisted with distaste. “God, I hated Vault-Tec. And all their sick, cheery ads about how nice the fucking apocalypse would be if you just spend your life savings buying a room in a metal hole... But Nate - my brother - he was always arguing with me about it. Kept telling me that if the worst happened, the world would need skills like mine. It wasn’t until the bombs started falling that he told me he’d already signed me up with Nora and Shaun, and at that point I just… ran for it.” She looked away. “Just like everyone else.”

She took another large swig of beer. “When I crawled back out of there, I… I guess Nate’s words stuck with me. I’ve got a lot of useful skills. I should use them to help make things a little better for people.”

Hancock raised his glass. “I’ll drink to that, sister. Sounds like you’re already puttin’ ‘em to good use.”

“I’m a little late,” said Hope, ruefully.

“So you overslept by two hundred years, it happens. You’re here now.” Hancock’s cheeky grin returned. “Guess we got lucky.”

Hope felt her own cheeks warming as she smiled. “Anyway, that’s why I joined the Minutemen. When Preston explained to me what they were about, I knew I could help. Hell, I can make more of a difference now than I could before the war.”

Hancock looked at her for a moment. Not a sultry, undressing-her-with-his-eyes look, but a real, soul-searching gaze. “Ya know, I think I’m gonna enjoy travelin’ with ya.”

Hope’s heart skipped. She was touched, but she covered it quickly with a smirk. “And here I thought you only wanted to come so you could stare at my ass.”

Hancock chuckled. “Oh, I’ll be doin’ plenty of that too, don’t you worry.”

“Scoundrel.”

“Only with my eyes, sunshine. Unless you say otherwise.” He added the last part with a wink. “By the way, change of topic. I gotta know - what did Bobbi tell ya her job was all about?”

Grateful for the change of topic, she began slicing into her roast brahmin again. “At first, just digging,” she said, between mouthfuls. “No further explanation. Later? That we were breaking into the storeroom of the Mayor of Diamond City.”

Hancock barked out a laugh. “That bastard? Damn, If she had been tellin’ the truth, I would’a joined in. Still, I’m surprised,” he said. “You don’t strike me as the thievin’ sort.”

“Ordinarily? I’m not,” said Hope, trying a slice of mashed tato with a satisfied little hum. “But that guy had it coming. The way I saw the Upper Stands people in that settlement treating everyone else…?” She huffed. “And McDonough was the worst of them. He reminds me of the politicians we had before the war. Smooth talking and arrogant, out for themselves, damn everyone else.”

“Yeah, sounds exactly like him,” Hancock muttered.

“He told me the Minutemen were irrelevant to Diamond City.” She put on a nasally imitation of his voice, which had Hancock chortling. “‘Diamond city already has the best security in the Commonwealth,’ blah, blah, blah… He wouldn’t help Nick and I when we needed a key to search an abandoned Upper Stands house, either. Said he ‘valued the privacy’ of his voters. Never mind the fact that his city is tearing itself apart in fear of the Institute, and we had an actual lead which could help take the fight to them. Stealing from him seemed like it would be doing the world a favour.”

Hancock stood, clapping her on the shoulder. “And for that, sister, you’ve earned yourself a bottle of the top shelf whiskey.”

“Speakin’ of stealin’ shit,” said Hancock, as he returned from behind the bar with two shot classes and an amber bottle of pre-war whisky he’d been saving for a special occasion, “what’s the story with that line this mornin’ about bad influences?”

Hope took a swig of the whiskey, and an electric shiver zinged through Hancock when she moaned at the flavour.

“Ooh, that’s really nice,” she sighed. “God damn. Hmm. Where to start… How much do you know about the world before the bombs?”

“Not too much, but a bit more than most,” Hancock replied. “I spend a lot of time hangin’ around pre-war ghouls. Picked up a few stories here and there. From what I can tell, it was a hell of a lot nicer than this mess, but to hear Daisy talk, it was a long way from perfect.”

“It was fucking Eden compared to this mess,” said Hope, a shadow falling across her eyes. “The people in power were what spoiled it.” Hancock poured her another glass of whiskey and she knocked it back with another little shiver. “Thanks,” she said. Hancock smiled and gestured for her to continue, topping up her glass again. “I was a hippie,” said Hope. “And not just the chill-and-do-drugs kind of hippie - though I did a lot of that, too,” she added with a laugh. “I was one of the loud, outspoken hippies the people with power absolutely hated. Marched in anti-war protests, blocked traffic, broke into government storehouses, helped hack a few classified databases… even found myself in a riot or two.”

Hancock whistled in approval. Hope grinned and continued her story.

“I fell into that crowd because their ideals matched mine, and I loved the idea of that free, live-as-you-please way of life, but I never really intended for it to go as far as it did. I just… met the right people. The ones with a bit more passion, a bit more courage, who bought out those qualities in me. People like you,” she said, and Hancock felt his stomach flutter and plummet all at once, because what the fuck? He wasn’t that person, and he suddenly dreaded her finding that out. “My parents called them ‘bad influences’,” Hope continued. “I think they were the best people I ever met.”

She sipped at her whiskey again, a fierce, defiant edge to her expression.

“I lost my job over it. Got arrested at a protest. I wasn’t doing anything outright illegal - at least not that time - so they couldn’t charge me. But the good ol’ US government didn’t appreciate its employees speaking out against it. Can’t have a park ranger chanting about how violently annexing a peaceful neighbour for the sake of fucking resources is a shitty thing to do.” She looked up at him, and her sour frown turned into a sardonic grin. “It’s a bad look.”

They both laughed, and Hancock raised his glass in a toast toward her before knocking back its contents.

“You’re a pre-war fuckin’ hippie with a taste for revolution?” he said, eyes sparkling. “And you’re hot. How the fuck are you even real?”

“I could just be a hallucination,” she teased, leaning in. “Too much Daytripper and hard liquor. You could be talking to Charlie.”

Hancock absolutely lost it at that, melting into the couch as they both dissolved into helpless laughter.

“Fuckin’… goddamn,” he said, once he had breath enough to talk. “I’m gonna be real mad if this is all one big jet flashback.”

“Same,” said Hope, wiping away tears. “Fuck, I haven’t laughed so much since way before the war. I’m glad you’re coming with me.”

“Oh, you’re gonna have a hell of a time gettin’ rid of me,” said Hancock. He filled both their glasses raised his again. “You’ll have to forgive me butcherin’ how this is supposed to sound, it ain’t my line and I only heard it a few times from an old ghoul, but - viva la revolution!”

“Viva la revolution!” Hope echoed, in disjointed chorus. “Didn’t work out last time, but hey,” she winked, passion and fire glinting through the bar light reflected in her eyes. “This time, I’m building an army.” 

She knocked back her whisky again.

“Round. Fucking. Two.”

Chapter 5

Chapter 7

[heartfullofleeches]

YES PLEASE PLEASE A CLOWN YAN

CLOWNS ARE MY SPECIAL INTEREST & COMFORT I LOVE THEM

clown yan and reader who's super love clowns????

Pop!

You've always had a love for clowns. From their colorful clothing their even brighter personalities and acts; you were hooked. You had various clown themed memorabilia around your room, visited shows when they were available, and even had one attend special occasions despite no longer being in the typical age range. Walking into the kitchen, it would've been no surprise to see one had it been one of those times-

Or you ordered one to begin with.

Confetti and streamers floats to the ground from the barrel of a party cannon; catching in your hair as the smell of gunpowder overpowers the feast laid out before you. The dinner table had been dected out in a polka dot cloth; pancakes, various bowls of toppings and even a cake sat atop it.

Ballons, other decorations, and poster games are strung across each wall. You notice pictures that your roommate had put up are strangely missing, but the ones you set out remained. One of the absent pictures was even placed in the middle of a variation of the "pin the tail" game board. To finiah off the scene, a large white banner with the word, "Congrations" spawled in rainbow text reaches from one corner of the room to the other; a smiling figure standing beneath it.

You wave with a limp hand. "Um... Hello."

The clown cheshire grin grows more upon hearing you speak. "Hello! It's so nice of you to finally join the party! I almost woke you up, but you looked so peaceful in bed. I need took pictures! But enough about me, this celebration is for you, afterall."

The clown reaches into their sleeve, pulling out a ballon in the shape of a flower. As you take it, they bow. "My name is Gus, your new forever-clown and companion for the rest of our days. I'm so excited to be with you- I accidentally broke the lock on your door when I had the key."

You inspect the flower. "What's a forever-clown?"

They look at you with a shocked expression. "You mean you don't know? A forever-clown is assigned to one person with the sole duty of making sure they never frown again. To be their best friend, and everything else that could ever want from another person. Even a lover! With how much you love clowns, I thought you would've known that, but give the situation - it's understandable if you forgot.

"What situation?"

Their smile edges further up their painted cheeks. "The disappearance of your roommate."

The ballon squeaks in your tighten grip. "What?"

"I know it's hard to hear, but I'm sure they're in a better place. Far better than someone who got another someone blacklisted from visting a certain person's home after a party. Plus, I'm here to make you forget all about them."

You take a step back, growing uneasy at what you former thought were red splatches on their shoes. "That.. that's not funny."

"No, Y/n.. What isn't funny is still being allowed to perform, but ever in the face of the one you'd like to see smiling the most. Everyone just took a little misunderstanding too far, but we were meant to be with each other. You need me as much as I need you...."

Gus claps their hands together. "But- let's save the chit-chat for after breakfast. I'm sure my special cotton-candy pancakes will knock your socks right off."

[grief-worn]

@neverhangd sent: “So…let me get this straight. Ye’ve got a magical doohickey in yer possession of foreign origin and unknown purpose, and it just so happens t’be keeping the tentacles at bay…and ye still plan t’hand it o’er when we get t’the fucking Gate? Does that apply even if the wriggler’s still present for ye?” She isn’t judgmental of the religious aspects of the cleric’s plans—that’d make her one hell of a hypocrite, her own sordid past considered—family’s family, whether that family’s a torture cult or a band of thieves—but the lack of self-preservation continues to astonish her. Especially seeing as Shadowheart’s yet to present such an astonishing lack of care for the self, both in battle and in camp.

The plan was intended to be simple. Horrendously dangerous and almost certainly liable to result in her own death, but simple.

Steal Retrieve the prism, keep it safe and out of unsafe hands, and deliver it personally to the control of her sacred enclave. This changed the moment she discovered its true capabilities. The moment she learned it was all that stood between them and their agonizing mutation. Not just a permanent end, but a resurrection into something monstrous and unfathomable. A mindflayer.

She still intends to carry out her mission in its entirety. Failure is not an option she is willing to consider, but she's not immune to doubt. To the grim reality of what obedience means for both her and her fellow companions. To choose between thoroughbred faith, and the atrocious violation of body and mind to live onward as illithid, well, such a decision is beyond what she's prepared to handle.

Still, if there's anything Shadowheart can rely on, it's faking it. And she will fake it until she makes it, or, until it breaks her.

"There is no outcome that ends in me forfeiting my duties. I will deliver the artifact, with or without help, and will face whatever consequences as they come." It's nearly imperceptible, almost invisible, but her voice wavers. She is scared. "… if you intend to stop me, I won't show mercy. Anyone who stands against me will be brought to their knees, through force, if necessary." A well-placed, violent threat might add a bit of credence, and she was eager to prove herself worthy of the responsibility placed upon her shoulders. Not that she needed to prove anything to anyone, of course.

The group treks onward, carving a route through a mountainous forest. Sun speckled polka dots filter through the canopy, still hours away from dusk. The day had been long, and it only promised more to come. Their journey's been anything but peaceful, and more than anything, Shadowheart just wanted to go home.

"We're a long way from the Gate, though. Might want to conserve your strength and focus on the more pressing matters at hand. There's a decent chance we won't even make it that far, especially with you jabbering my ear off." A rather abrupt plea to end the conversation. Shadowheart isn't chatty even in her sunniest of dispositions, and much less so when she feels cornered and probed.

"... and what of your fate? I can only imagine you'll find the nearest leaking tap and drown your gullet in pints of ale." Or rum. Or mead. Or whatever it is that seafarers seek to fill their barrels. That's what Anne is, no? Either a caster of nets, or an explorer of tides, or a castaway sailor seeking glory. Her story is sealed away, hidden behind chapters unopened, perhaps permanently. Shadowheart has pieced together a small bit of Anne's heritage, based on the odd off-hand comment or educated observation of the redhead's wardrobe. She smelled of the sea, as well. Whiffs of salt breezed water and a sun-kissed complexion. All the trademarks of a seasoned mariner.

Baldur's Gate is a port teeming with much of the same breed, and the Sharran would recognize their stench a mile away.

[wanderlustqueen-writes]

Hello Alice 🤎

Sorry to sneak into your ask box but I loved 'The Truth is out there, but so is Love' and I need more X Files LeviHan!

I don't know if you take prompts but if you do I'd like to request a drabble based on this quote : "Mulder Levi, you just keep unfolding like a flower." (The X Files - S1 - Episode 12 "Fire"). Because I (and Hange) want to know more about Agent Ackerman's past!

Feel free to ignore this request of course!

Thank you

🤎🤎

Hi Livia! Thank you so much for your request and for your kind words. It makes me genuinely happy to know you liked this fic 💜💚

I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply to this, I was just having a hard time figuring out what to write. Then, I realized the first anniversary of The Truth Is Out There, But So Is Love was approaching, and everything fell into place. I hope you don't mind that I made your prompt into a celebratory drabble for the fic's anniversary! ________________________________________

Pairing: Levi Ackerman/ Hange Zoë Warnings: None. SFW and Fluff. Additional tags: The X Files AU, She/Her pronouns for Hange Zoë Wordcount: 1,4k

“The fuck is all this?”

Levi asked as he stepped into the basement office. Over the past months, he’d grown used to the crampiness of the space he shared with Agent Zoë who — much to her credit — had been trying to keep things clean, even if chaotic. But what he stared upon right now was a different kind of chaos. Colorful chaos.

The document boxes and cabinets were covered in metallic serpentine coils, which spilled to the ground, painting it red, green, and yellow. The wall of newspaper cutouts had some joyful additions: a picture of an alleged alien head now had a tiny pink birthday hat over it, the severed arm that an article claimed to belong to a victim of the Jersey Devil held a little slice of cake over its hand. Dozens of purple balloons clung to the ceiling, trying to escape the havoc, their curling ribbons hanging so low one of them grazed at Agent Ackerman’s cheek. Levi pushed the strip away, only to have it prickling at his skin a second later.

“Tch. It looks like Party City took a dump in here.”

“I know, right??” The excited voice called from the other side of the room. Agent Zoë sat at her table, face turned to the opposite wall, exactly like the day they met. Her hair was chaotic as always, brown strands moving as she lowered her head to fiddle with something. Levi watched as his partner set aside a small box, and the smell of smoke mixed with something sweet diffused in the air. Hange put on a polka-dotted cone hat before swiftly turning her chair in his direction, smiling from ear to ear.

“Happy birthday, Levi!”

The agent frowned as he inspected the rainbow sprinkle cupcake she held out to him, especially the “1” shaped candle that topped it.

“I’m 32.”

He moved his gaze to her.

“And it’s not my birthday.”

“Well,” Hange started, reaching for his hand to give him the sweet treat “Since I don’t know your birth date, I figured we could celebrate your first year in the X-Files. It’s been exactly 365 days since you walked through that door for the first time.” There was a tinge of genuine warmth in her final words. The same warmth that he felt in his chest.

“The monkey case? It’s been one year already?” Levi asked, sincerely surprised.

“Yes!” Hange said, reaching for a desk calendar that was on one of the cabinets. She pointed at the date that was circled in red “July 26”.

When he was first assigned to work with Agent Zoë, Levi was counting the minutes to be done with the job and move on to the top floors of the J Edgar Hoover Building. Now, a mere year later, still buried in the basement floor, investigating all kinds of weird shit by Hange’s side, he couldn’t imagine himself doing anything else. Time flies in the X Files.

The sound of Hange cleaning her throat pulled him back to reality

“So, when is your birthday, by the way?” she said, feigning casualness

Silence.

“Come on, Levi! At least give me a clue.”

“Fine.”

Hange’s face lit up.

“It happened one time since we met.”

Hange’s smile melted into a hilarious betrayed scowl and Levi had to fight hard to maintain his nonchalant expression.

“Wow,” she said, with an exaggerated wounded look “Levi, you just keep unfolding like a flower.”

He couldn’t fight the urge to smile this time.

“I just don’t celebrate birthdays,” he explained, appeasing his partner “so I refrain from sharing this date with people. But if you’re really so curious, I’m sure you can find that information very easily.

“It wouldn’t feel right” Hange explained, shrugging as if she was ready to drop the subject, but then “That means you never had a birthday party?” she asked, bobbing her head to the side. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to!” she quickly added.

“My mom made me a few when she was alive, but I hardly remember any of them” Levi recounted as faded flashes of his mother lifting him from the ground and holding him above a colorful table to blow his candles invaded his mind. “There was one party my friend threw me. The red-haired friend, from the foster home, I think I told you about her once-”

“The one that was like your little sister.” Hange nodded, eyes fixed on him, waiting for his next words.

“Exactly. She bought us two handfuls of candy, I don’t even know where she got the money, probably beat some kids at marbles or something” Levi chuckled “Then she arranged them on the bed, in the shape of a birthday cake. It was a surprise party too, because it was nowhere near the right date.” He smiled, his heart full of love as he reminisced about his friend, and when he looked up, Hange had the sweetest smile on her face.

“Did you ever contact her?” “I planned to. We promised we would stay in touch. But as it turns out, the adults weren’t very keen on sharing the families’ information with a couple of kids. Over time I even forgot her name, I just have a vague memory of someone saying that it was also a flower”

“What flower??” Hange all but jumped on him to get the answer.

“Jesus! How should I know? I know fuck-all about flowers.”

Hange nodded, but Levi could see in her eyes that her mind was elsewhere.

“How about we just celebrate Christmas?” Levi’s proposition caught his partner's attention.

“I don’t do Christmas” Hange answered, puzzled.

“Me neither. Is the perfect middle ground, don’t you think?”

It really was.

Or so he thought when December 25 came and with it an invite to Hange’s apartment.

Levi dreaded he would find over-the-top decorations or — even worse — a bunch of guests with whom he would have to socialize. So when he crossed her door he was relieved to see that it was just her usual place, mess and all, with just a pizza box and one beer bottle awaiting on the small center table. The other bottle was in Hange’s hand, and she used it to point him to the couch, as she went on to feed her fish.

The movie this time was Hange’s choice, and Levi wasn’t surprised when the opening scene of Alien started playing on TV. He was surprised, however, to know why it was her favorite film.

“I like the fact that the cat survives.” She told him “Ripley goes through all that trouble to save Jonesy as she’s running for her life. Then the creature finds Jonesy in his cage and spares him. I think I like the fact that both the human and the alien had to act in a certain way, opposite of what one would think, and that made it possible for the cat to live. I think it means we’re not so different. Or that everyone is more complex than they appear.”

“Maybe it just means cats are fucking scary.”

She laughed, lightly kicking his foot.

As the final credits rolled, Hange propped herself up from the couch.

“I have something for you.”

When she came back from her room, she was holding something flat and rectangular, wrapped in green paper, with a delicate purple ribbon. Levi opened it to reveal a book.

Botanical World 1: An Illustrated Guide To The Flowers of America

He stared at the gift for a whole minute, knowing what it meant.

“If we don’t find her name in this one, there are four more, for Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania.”

Levi gulped, trying to swallow the painful knot that was in his throat.

“We can go through it together.” Hange tried, then added, a few seconds later “Or If you don’t like it I can take it back. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Levi, or Happy non-Christmas, I don’t know” Hange chuckled nervously and stared at him expectantly.

“I think” Levi paused, taking his time to look Hange in the eyes “Happy Birthday is more appropriate.”

Levi patiently waited as his partner peered at him. Then squinted. Tilted her head to the side. Her eyes started to grow wide as realization dawned on her.

Hange gave him the most breathtaking smile, and suddenly Levi wasn’t sure what the best birthday present was.

[subliminalbo]

10 Years of Subliminalbo

Candice Swanepoel: Mindless Supermodel on Tour Annotated [ 1 ]

Originally published November 26th, 2013

Hundreds of young women were gathering at a Victoria's Secret in Pasadena [ 2 ] where Candice Swanepoel was promoting a new lingerie line, Obedience by Victoria [ 3 ]. Many only showed up to get an autograph and a picture with the supermodel, but a select few were chosen to join Candice in a private meeting after the event [ 4 ].

Once the fifteen chosen girls followed Candice into the room, each one received their very own Obedience bra which Candice ordered them to put on [ 5 ]. When all of the girls had returned from the fitting rooms, they found that Candice had stripped down into her underwear and was waiting to greet them in her own pair of Obedience by Victoria lingerie. Then she began her demonstration. The girls listened intently to Candice's every word as she went over the usual stuff: how the bra gave enough lift to create the illusion of larger breasts, but didn't sacrifice the comfort that every bra needs [ 6 ]. How all the designs, for example her's with black and white polka-dots [ 7 ], were cute and flirty but sexy and mature all at once. And how the bra kept a woman mindless, blank, submissive [ 8 ].

"Each bra comes with its own unique identification card [ 9 ]," Candice spoke promptly, professionally, as if she were reading from a script [ 10 ]. "And the holder of that id card controls the wearer of the bra. As long as I'm wearing Obedience by Victoria, I have no control of my own. However, since I have your cards, I do have control over all of you. Does that make sense? [ 11 ]"

"Yes, Mistress Candice," the girls replied [ 12 ].

"Good," Candice smiled as she looked upon an audience of blank faces. "The bra was assembled in America with materials produced in Pakistan [ 13 ]. Utilizing research that is only legal in Yugoslavia [ 14 ], Victoria's Secret has created a bra that is truly a first of its kind, and a look into the future of the industry. Please refrain from wearing Obedience by Victoria for more than four hours; prolonged use may cause memory loss, catatonia, loss of motor control, and irregular increase in sex drive. If you experience any of these symptoms, remove the bra immediately and consult a physician for you could be experiencing early signs of mind control poisoning. Ask your doctor before use [ 15 ].

"Now, my girls, [ 16 ]" Candice took a breath.

"Yes, Mistress Candice?"

"You're all going to go home, and you're going to find another girl. It could be your sister, your friend, your mother, your cousin, it doesn't matter. You're going to find another girl and you're going to make sure she gets a bra just like yours [ 17 ]."

"Yes, Mistress Candice. We will obey."

"Good. We want every woman in America to experience Obedience by Victoria with us."

"Yes, Mistress Candice. They will submit."

Mindless, the women left the mall and headed home, all thinking about their mission [ 18 ].

Candice boarded the fastest plane out of LA, en route to Milwaukee [ 19 ] where the next Victoria's Secret on the tour was located. On the plane she received a call. "Yes," she spoke quietly into the receiver. "I fitted them all with the bras...Yes, the effect was instantaneous...Of course I'm still wearing mine...Yes, I do nothing but think of you when I'm wearing it...Yes, I will do anything...Yes...Anything for you, Master. [ 20 ]"

[ 1 ]. Mindless Supermodel Model on Tour created a lot of problems for me. It was originally meant to be a series of shorts where we see Candice in different little mind control vignettes, but the idea of a mind controlling lingerie brand was too broad to just bury in a random one shot, so I kept writing about it. I pretty quickly moved to writing fictional characters after this short, but Obedience by Victoria remained an important bit of lore for several years until I just said fuck it and swapped out Victoria's Secret for Fleur-de-lis, creating ersatz versions of the Victoria's Secret models that I'd previously written about. You can read a much, much better version of this story here as Obedience By Fleur #1.

[ 2 ]. Before Romero, I liked to set these stories in completely random cities that I've never been to.

[ 3 ]. Fun with brand name parodies. I thought Obedience By Victoria was so clever for some reason.

[ 4 ]. In my "just writing a quick caption to establish context for the manip" era, these stories start so abruptly. It feels really weird to just jump into something without any groundwork.

[ 5 ]. They aren't even mind controlled yet lmao

[ 6 ]. Incredibly painful to read a 19 year old kid write about women's underwear like he knows what he's talking about.

[ 7 ]. I used to go out of my way to place the story in the manip somehow, but this proved incredibly limiting. At some point I stopped letting the manips tell the stories and today I rarely reference imagery from the manips.

[ 8 ]. This is supposed to be a "murder, arson, jaywalking" joke, but the bit doesn't land because I spread it out over three long sentences instead of one list.

[ 9 ]. Huh

[ 10 ]. Because she's under mind control, you see. Totally unreasonable to suspect that a person pitching a new product for their company would be reading from a script.

[ 11 ]. Weirdly insecure for a mindless drone.

[ 12 ]. Nitpicking myself here but I don't think "replied" is the word choice I would use for fifteen mind controlled girls speaking in unison today.

[ 13 ]. I wonder if this was researched or if I just picked completely random countries. I'm guessing the latter.

[ 14 ]. Oof, most of the jokes in my early stuff just don't land. I've always been better at the melodrama.

[ 15 ]. Pretty good bit.

[ 16 ]. I would also probably not have her say "my girls" if I were writing this today. Just reads weird to me.

[ 17 ]. Not the first instance of serial recruitment in my writing at this point (the sequel to that Fleur-de-lis chapter that I posted the other night has it), but the first that I like.

[ 18 ]. Are they mindless or are they thinking? Just a weird transition paragraph that exists to remind the reader one more time that there's mind control in this story.

[ 19 ]. What even is this tour? Surely there are Victoria's Secrets between Pasadena and Milwaukee lmao

[ 20 ]. This is a Metal Gear Solid reference and it's fucking stupid

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: Mighty Solars The Movie Ch. 9

A few seconds later, Mark was taking out the trash, until he sees the Mighty Solars walking.

Mark Melner: Woah.

Korvo/Quasarblast: We better transform back. Phoebe might be looking for us.

Terry/Mighton: Right!

Mark hides behind the walls as he sees the family transforming and gasp in shock.

Mark Melner: Yumyulack?!

Yumyulack notices Mark and gasps.

Korvo: Oh shit!

Yumyulack: FUCKING RUN GUYS!

The Solars run as Mark sighs

Meanwhile with Phoebe, she looks around the place for the kids.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Jesse?! Yumyulack?! Pupa?! Where are you?! suddenly hears screaming

The Solars run through the door. Phoebe then runs up and sees Nova being held captive by Evil Terry.

Nova: HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!

Phoebe gasps.

Phoebe MacCarthy: What the fuck?! Another Terry?!

Evil Terry looks at Phoebe and growls before disappearing.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Be right back fam! I got some ass to kick!

Phoebe runs off to save Nova as she charges off but then notices a glowing teal lasso as she gasp. She picks it up and grows amazed.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Amazing.

The lasso grows brighter as Phoebe gasp then she twirls the lasso and flies to the destination while whooping. Meanwhile, Naomi is in a chamber, with Caitlin, Kano, Barry and Dr. Weatherstone waiting for the right moment. Then, next to her is another chamber with a wrapped corpse wrapped in a familiar pink clothe with white polka dots on it

Kano: Okay, has it been proceeded

Barry: Yes. We’re ready. You sure this is Cheery? Will she come back?

Kano: I’m positive.

Naomi looks at the corpse and notices something suspicious about it.

Naomi: Kano, are you sure this person wrapped in some kind of picnic clothe is Cheery?

Kano: Of course.

Kano smirks evilly as Barry and Caitlin starts the machine. AISHA then appears in the lab to find Korvo and warn him. But then she gasp upon seeing Naomi.

AISHA: What the hell?

Dr. Weatherstone: Okay. Initiate sequence! Now!

Dr. Weatherstone pulls the switch but the machine starts to go haywire as sparks appear through the background and spreads around the area. The scientists duck and starts freaking out while AISHA gasp upon seeing the corpse glowing and coming alive.

AISHA: Holy shit!

Barry: Damn it, what’s going?

Dr. Weatherstone: It appears the machinery must’ve taken some kind of charge that is mocking with undead connecting some kind biological pulse!

The corpse then unwraps herself as she comes back from the dead and is turned into some kind of spirit with her eyes glowing. AISHA then gasp upon seeing Naomi inside.

AISHA: Hold on!

The corpse then takes off the clothes as she grins evilly and flies away as her blast shatters the machine and hits AISHA, who manages to get Naomi out of here but screams in pain. The sprite then flies up to the building and becomes a living person, who turns out to be none other than… Sister Sisto!

Sister Sisto: chuckles Hello world, did you miss me?

Then, she then realizes she is on another planet as she prepares to shout again.

Sister Sisto: I said… voice gets distorted HELLO WORLD! DID YOU MISS ME?!

AISHA gasps. Then, AISHA starts distorting as she screams in pain while carrying Naomi. The scene then cuts to a pier, where a Wallian named Clair sees Evil Terry carrying a bound and gagged Nova. She gasp and races to Montez and Cherie, who is looking at Pezlie cooing.

Montez: Yes Claire?

Claire: Sir… we found Nova. And she appears to be captured by some crook.

Montez gasps.

Montez: Nova?

Cherie: She’s here? We have to save her! Some of us could be in danger.

Pezlie: cooing

Montez: Right! Wallians, defense position!

The Wallians get in a defense position, but then black slime slithers and grabs them by the feet as they gasp, The black smiles cackles like a maniac. The black slime then reforms into Evil Terry as he place the Wallians in his grasp. Phoebe cames by and hears them and follows Evil Terry as she gasp. Evil Terry then ties up the Wallians as they held by a pole near the lake docks.

Evil Terry/Slither: Poor Pathetic Wallians tied up like fish! *holds Cherie by the face* The hero? Hello Cherie

Cherie growls. Then she headbutts Evil Terry. He laughs and brushed off as he prepares to interrogate the Wallians. Phoebe hides behind the crates.

Evil Terry: Now, tell me. Where is Terry?

Montez: What? We don’t know. Who is Terry?

Evil Terry growls.

Evil Terry: grabs Montez by the face Well guess what you fucking knight? One of you does!

Cherie: We don't know what you're talking about? Who even are you? Mr. Psychopathic Cunt?

Evil Terry chuckles darkly as Phoebe looks closely..

Evil Terry: Now… who could it be? Eeeny keenly miny… chooses Nova You!

Nova: Uh...I...I don't know anyone named Terry! I swear!

Evil Terry grabs Nova by the shirt.

Evil Terry: If you wanna keep your life, I suggest you start singing like a canary!

Nova: What?

Evil Terry: Where is Terry?! Speak or die!

Nova: I…I…

Evil Terry growls. Evil Terry slithers into slime and starts strangling Montez.

Cherie: Montez!

Phoebe gasp in shock as she witness what is happening.

Evil Terry: He dies… in 3… 2!

Phoebe MacCarthy: No...

Nova: NO! STOP! I KNOW WHO TERRY IS! JUST DON'T KILL HIM!

Evil Terry lets go of Montez as he breathes for air. Evil Terry approaches her.

Evil Terry: You do?! Where is he?!

Nova starts sobbing.

Nova: tearfully He lives at the neighborhood. Brewerfield Drive…

Evil Terry smirks evilly.

Evil Terry: Thanks for the info, doll.

Nova breathe in and out in tears.

Evil Terry: Terry would be so disappointed if I don’t kill you… well at least one of you!

Cherie looks at Nova with concern.

Nova: What?! What are you talking about?

Cherie: Yeah! We won't let you kill us!

Evil Terry then grins as his eyes glow red and he starts turning black while he grows bigger and muscular as his clothes rip apart in shreds. He roars once finishes becoming some type of monster. He then throws a knife at the rope where it holding Nova and it slices the top of the ropes as Nova falls in the water screaming. Phoebe gasp in horror as she sees Nova falling as “Unstoppable” from Sia plays in the background:

Cherie: NOVA!

The Wallians starts crying out in shock and horror. As Phoebe looks at the Wallians, her eyes starts glowing as forehead band appears on her face and she charges in.

Phoebe MacCarthy: GGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

As Phoebe leaps, a super suit appears all over her body like shimmering magic and a superhero mask appears on her eyes as she dives in to save Nova. Phoebe summons a lasso as it grabs Nova and pulls her up the surface for safety. The two woman reached the surface as they breath for air and Phoebe helps Nova up.

Phoebe MacCarthy/???: Are you okay?

Nova: Yeah.

Then, they heard Monster Evil Terry laughing as he leaves. Phoebe growls.

Monster Evil Terry: You’re not ready to kill me! laughs You’re not worthy!

Monster Evil Terry then throws a knife as it slashed through each of the ropes and frees the Wallians as they fell safely on the board. Monster Evil Terry gasps. Monster Evil Terry then growls and escapes up on the board. The Wallians help each other up while Nova coughs water as Phoebe holds her close. Cherie runs up to Nova.

Cherie: Nova. Hey it’s okay. Let’s get you to the hospital…

Montez: Come on…

Cherie turns to Phoebe and silently thanks her. The scene then cuts to Naomi waking up at a hospital room with Cheery here and gasp upon seeing AISHA distorting as she starts fading. Naomi gasp in distraught as she rushes to AISHA’s side.

Naomi: Oh no, are you hurt?!

AISHA: Yes! Call Korvo now!

AISHA groans as Naomi starts crying in remorse.

Naomi: tearfully Oh no.. this is all my fault… I am so sorry…

AISHA: Don’t be sorry.

Cue “Love Power Reprise”:

Naomi: This is awful. I don’t what to do. I’m not the true Cheery.

AISHA: Huh?

Naomi: How do I save you? What do I do?

AISHA starts singing

AISHA: I think you are a true woman.

[AISHA]

Because you are real, Naomi

And I'll tell you

How I absolutely know It's how

I'd make a world for you

That never breaks your heart

Where you can grow and thrive

And your every wish can flower

You will always be loved, Naomi

I'm so proud of how I know you'll carry on

I've known a lot of love in your life

But never anything as strong

Love power

With that love has power

And you'll have it there inside you

When I'm gone

Naomi then gains courage and sees AISHA’a booting system and places the plug to help her while Parker comes in.

Parker: Hey what are you doing?! What’s going on?!

Naomi: I…I…

Parker: Oh no! AISHA! Hang on! I got you covered!

Parker helps upload the software. Then, the humans hear something then Kevin revived a text about AISHA from Naomi.

Kevin: Oh no! Some woman name AISHA is is in trouble!

Kevin’s Wife: We gotta help her!

A few seconds later, the humans race in there but then…

Kevin: No! crying hysterically We’re too late! Aisha is dead! She’s-

Kevin’s Wife: Kevin! Wrong room!

Kevin: Oh.

The humans raced in the room and gasp upon seeing something glowing so bright and digital. It is AISHA, but now a digital AI Shlorpian.

Humans: Whoa…

AISHA looks down at her hands and gasps.

AISHA: Wow! I’m a Shlorpian! This is cool! gasp in joy I have eyes! And legs and a mouth! And a mouth! And arms and hands!

AISHA squeals with excitement.

Humans: dumbfounded and shock HUH?!

Miss Frankie: Wait a minute, that’s AISHA?!

AISHA turns around and gasps

AISHA: Oh. It’s just you guys. The humans my family hangs out with and sometimes butt heads with.

Principal Cooke: Wait? What?! How do you know us?! Which family?!

AISHA: You know. The Solar Opposites?!

Humans: Oooooooh! pause for a minute What?!

Miss Frankie: Wait? Are you like their assistant or something?

AISHA blushes.

AISHA: Yeah… Y’know these guys may be a bunch of dumbass motherfuckers, but they’re my wonderful dumbass motherfuckers.

Naomi: Aaaw.

Randall bursts into tears.

Randall: tearfully Why does the love of family always bring me to tears?

Principal Cooke pats Randall on the back. Cheery then wakes up as she moans.

Humans: gasp Cheery Smithers!

Darcy: You’re alive!

Cheery: Uh, yeah. Why are you…

She then sees Naomi as a romantic background appears as the song, “Only Hope” from Mandy Moore plays in the background:

Naomi: Hey. I’m Naomi.

Cheery stares lovingly at Naomi, as she got up.

Cheery: Whoa. Unbelievable. You… must be my other half…

Naomi: I am. I was created when you got sent to the other dimension.

Cheery gasps.

Cheery: Oh my gosh… this is astounding. But… where are the Solars?

Miss Frankie: They’re heading to a diner. For the first time in human forms.

AISHA: Oh thank God! Gotta fly guys!

AISHA flies off. Back with the Solars, they’re now in their human forms heading to the diner. Phoebe, who is back to normal sees them and runs up to them.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Guys! notices Human Korvo Korvo?

Human Korvo: Phoebe?

Phoebe MacCarthy: Oh thank God. I was so worried about you kids. *hugs the family* I am so glad you kids are okay. And I’m glad you found your dads.

Human Jesse: Yeah.

Human Terry is still in shock and blushing by Korvo’s human form.

Human Yumyulack: Uh, you okay Terry?

Human Terry takes Human Korvo’s hand.

Human Terry: Oh my God honey… you look hot.

Human Korvo blushes.

Human Korvo: Really? seductively flips his hair Does this make you feel flattered?

Human Terry: Hell yeah!

The two human alien husbands kiss while moaning lovingly. Human Yumyulack notices Human Terry’s erection.

Human Yumyulack: Aw dude, your erection? Gross! I’m gonna head inside the diner! heads inside

Human Jesse: Yeah. Me too. Come on, Pupa.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Come on kids.

As the others head inside, Human Korvo puts a hand on Human Terry’s chest seductively.

Human Korvo: seductively I gotta say, you do make me feel so hot in this human flesh form of yours.

Human Terry chuckles.

Human Terry: Thank you, you beautiful glowing up hot stud. Shall we head inside?

Human Korvo: We shall.

The two husbands head inside. Mark comes out while wearing a diner apron, but then he sees an old video of the night Annie broke Stacy G’s heart posted by the Jayden, which shows the Headphone guys, the Stacies and other kids laughing at Stacy G who runs in the bathroom in tears.

Mark Melner: gasp silently then growls

A few seconds later, Mark comes up to Aiden, Braiden and Jayden at another fast food place.

Mark Melner: HEY!

Aidan: Oh hey, Mark. What’s up, bro?

Mark Melner: shows them the old video What?! The fuck?! Is this?!

The Headphone Kids gasp and try to lie.

Jayden: Pfft. Relax man, it was just a joke we made with the Stacies. Stacy G was holding them back.

Mark Melner: What?! Why would you do that?! Stacy G’s been my friend since third grade!

Aidan: Your friends? Please! We’re your friends!

Braiden: Yeah. You got us now! And we think you better think about hanging with us… or with those losers… Mark scowls as Braiden grabs Mark’s hand Let’s go.

Mark: yanks his hand away No! Never!

Jayden: What?!

Mark: You heard me!

Aiden: Excuse us?

Mark Melner: cause Braiden to let go No! I’m not going anywhere with you! Not now, not at school anymore! I had enough! I don’t like the way you guys treat people and right now, I am hurting the ones I love thanks to you guys. Might as well find another fourth Headphone motherfucker, you jackasses!

Mark then leaves. As he steps outside, he realizes what he did and squeals with excitement.

Mark Melner: Yes! Yes! It’s finally over! I’m free! I felt great?

Mark laughs but then gasps when he remembers what happened with Yumyulack. The scene cuts to Sonya watering a garden at the homeless shelter while humming “Lollipop, Lollipop Oh Lilly Lolly Pop!” She continues humming the song as she feeds a horse some sugar cubes. She then sniffs something at the diner the Solars at and looks. Back with the Solars, they’re checking what to order.

Human Terry: So, what does everyone wanna get?

Human Jesse: I’m getting a slider.

Then, Human Yumyulack hears a notification from Tik Tok and opens his phone and gasp in horror. It shows the day he was humiliated by the Headphone Guys who read his journal at the pep rally in front of everybody.

Human Terry: Oh you want that cute grilled cheese Pupa, okay? Hey Yumyulack, what do you want to order?

Human Korvo notices Human Yumyulack looking at his phone.

Human Korvo: Yumyulack… are you okay?

Human Yumyulack: in tears I… I’m not hungry…

Human Korvo: concern Why don’t you head to the restroom kiddo?

Human Yumyulack nods and leaves in tears. Then, a waitress comes while Sonya comes and notices a delicious dessert.

Sonya: Wow.

Waitress: Hi, welcome to Bob Slack’s Diner. May I take you order?

As Human Korvo prepare to take his order, Sonya got out a knife and bites into the dessert.

Human Korvo: Oh yeah, I’ll have the uh… sees Sonya suddenly coughing Sonya?

Sonya’s face suddenly swells up as she keeps coughing.

Human Korvo: Oh my God! drops his menu Sonya!

Waitress: Oh my God! Someone call 911!

Human Terry panics and grabs Sonya as he ran out of the diner to the hospital.

Human Korvo: facepalms Terry…

“Overture” from William Tell plays in the background as Human Terry ran all over the neighborhood while carrying Sonya:

Human Terry: Incoming! Incoming! Incoming!

Meanwhile with Human Yumyulack… Human Yumyulack is still in the bathroom behind a diner, crying until he heard a knock on the door.

???: Yumyulack?

Human Yumyulack sniffles and wipes away his tears.

Human Yumyulack: Who-who is it?

Mark Melner: It’s me, Mark.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites grew silent but then crouch in tears.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Go away.

Mark Melner: I just wanna talk to you.

Mark Melner sighs.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: You wouldn’t want to talk to me. turns his head away in tears I’m a freak…

Mark Melner: I don’t think you’re a freak. I think you’re just misunderstood.

Human Yumyulack continues weeping as Mark begins to talk again.

Mark Melner: Look, I am so sorry for the way my friends have been treating you lately…. I’m sorry for not standing up for you and the other kids… and I am so sorry you were humiliated last night…

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Whatever. It’s obvious you don’t mean it.

Mark Melner: Of course so do! sigh Because, you are so smart, so brave, so protective of your sister… everything… but I should’ve stand up to my so called friends…

Human Yumyulack opens the stall door.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: But you hang out with them a lot…

Mark Melner: I used to.

“Far Away” from Nickelback plays in the background as Human Yumyulack grows shock by this revelation:

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: You mean you...

Mark Melner: I’m done with them! They hurt you, Stacy G, every unpopular boy at this school! They didn’t deserve to treat you like that, even Stacy G and Jesse!

Human Yumyulack smiles tearfully.

Mark Melner: Wanna get outta here.

Human Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Yeah. starts raining

Mark Melner: Shit. It's raining. Should we-

Human Yumyulack then accidentally tripped and turn back into his Shlorpian form as he lands on his arms on Mark’s shoulder and leans up to him.

Mark Melner: You okay?

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: quietly I-I don’t know! I….

Mark suddenly kisses Yumyulack on the lips. The two teenage boy moan lovingly as rain pours on them while lighting struck. The two boys held onto each other as tears falls down from Yumyulack’s eyes.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: I...sniffs I...

Mark Melner: Shh…

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Huh? What's wrong?

Mark Melner: Nothing's wrong. I love you, Yumyulack.

Yumyulack gets stunned in silence but smiles in tears.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: I love you too!

The two boyfriends embrace in another kiss as they back away from the rain and gets underneath a roof.

Mark Melner: So...what do you wanna do now?

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Shall we head for shelter?

Mark Melner: I'd like that.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Good! Hang on tight!

Mark Melner: Wait? What are you doing?!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Trust me, honey.

Mark Melner: Wow! Did you just call me-

Suddenly...

Yumyulack turns into Vil-Gil-An-T and carries Mark as Mark starts whooping in shock after Vil-Gil-An-T flies up.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites/Vil-Gil-An-T: Having fun?

Mark Melner: Wow! You’re really good at flying!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites/Vil-Gil-An-T: I know! I just learned!

Later, at the hospital, Nova check out with Montez and Cherie waiting for her.

Cherie: smiling Hey Nova…

Nova: Hey.

Montez: We’re so glad you’re okay. Guess you finally see through Sisto’s true colors, huh?

Nova: Listen Cherie, I want to apologize. About everything. You were right about Sisto and everything about the wall and Pezlie. I am so sorry. I just wanted to bring Halk, but I should’ve realized he wanted me to keep living no matter what. And I’m sorry Sisto stole Pezlie away from you. That was wrong. You have every right to be upset with me, and I hurted you very badly over a false prophet. I don’t expect you to forgive me, because I was the worst and I deserve that kind grudge of you… but all I can say is true this… I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you.

Cherie and Montez smiles. Cherie then hugs Nova.

Cherie: Apology accepted, Nova.

Nova smiles tearfully. Then, Human Terry bust in here while carrying Sonya.

Human Terry: Incoming! Incoming!

Cherie: What the hell?!

Doctor: Hey! What’s going on?!

Human Terry: This girl is having an allergic reaction or something! Help her!

Doctor: Oh my God!

The rest of the family comes in as Human Korvo sighs. Later, the family are waiting while Nova, Montez, Cherie and Pezlie looks at them.

Nova: Hey. Are you Terry’s family?

Human Korvo: Oh yeah why you…

Suddenly, Human Korvo sees Cherie and gasp silently as flashback of Cherie as a Benihana chef appears in his mind.

Human Korvo: Cherie?

Cherie: How do you know who I am?

Human Korvo: I know! You’re that chef from Benihana! sighs as he remembers another thing And oh my God., you’re that chef Yumyulack shrunk.

Human Jesse gasp in fear. Cherie is confused but gasps in realization.

Cherie: Korvo? But… how did you… he shrunk me…

Human Korvo looks on with annoyance as flashback occurs.

Flashback Jesse: Why is she going in the wall? I thought she was a nice woman.

Flashback Yumyulack: I said I didn’t want shrimp! If I was allergic I could’ve died! Is that what you want?!

Unknown to them, Korvo and Terry heard everything.

Flashback Terry: Holy shit.

Flashback Korvo: sighs as he facepalms Oh boy…

End Flashback.

Cherie: Yeah. Sorry I gave your son shrimp. That was my bad.

Human Korvo: Don’t worry about it. He inherited it from my mother.

Cherie: Oh God! I am so sorry, I-

Human Korvo: Like I said, it’s okay.

Cherie: Yeah. You’re his father? Right?

Human Korvo: Yes. And this my husband Terry.

Human Terry: What’s up?

Nova: Nice to meet you guys. sees the doctor coming to do with a foster care agent Oh he’s here.

Doctor: Korey Opposites?

Human Korvo: Yes?

Doctor: Don’t worry. Sonya is gonna be okay.

Everyone sighs with relief.

Human Terry: Wait a minute. Why is there a foster care agent here?

Foster Care Agent: We’re taking Sonya back with us.

Human Korvo: What?! Why?! Where are her parents Somar and Lita?!

Foster Care Agent: They were aborted.

Human Korvo and Human Terry froze in silence of shock. Human Korvo sighs sadly.

Human Korvo: quietly Sonya…

Then, the Human Solars and Phoebe comes into the room where Sonya is in, with the foster care agent.

Sonya: Hey everyone.

Sonya then sees the foster care agent as her face becomes a sad look.

Foster Agent: You know shouldn’t run off like that.

Sonya: I’m sorry…

Foster Care Agent: Well right now, you’re coming ba-

Human Korvo stops her.

Human Korvo: Wait right here.

Human Korvo grabs Human Terry’s hand as they head outside in private.

Human Terry: Korvo, what’s going on?

Human Korvo looks down at his wedding ring as he realizes something.

Human Terry: Korv?

Human Korvo: takes a deep breath Terry, remember when you said you love for us to have another child one day?

Human Terry: Yeah. Why do you-

Human Korvo holds Terry’s hand as he makes a decision.

Human Korvo: Let’s adopt Sonya.

AISHA appears digitally as she gains a human form to shapeshift in as she gasp and looks around her body.

AISHA: Oh my God! This is amazing!

Human AISHA then looks her human tits and grows amazed.

Human AISHA: Are these boobs?! WOAH!

Back with Human Korvo and Human Terry

Human Terry: What?! You really want to have another kid too?

Human Korvo: Yes! A billion times yes!

Human Terry starts gasping in joy as he burst into tears of joy.

Human Terry: KORVY!

The two husbands embrace in a kiss as they moan lovingly as Human AISHA hid spies on them. The two husbands head back into their room while Human Korvo gets out custody papers.

Foster Care Agent: What are those Korey?

Foster Owner: Don’t bother. Korey called me, saying he would be willing to take care of Sonya. Though it was your responsibility of watching Sonya when she went out without adult supervision.

Foster Care Agent: *lying* Why yes. I was looking for her.

Foster Owner: That is clearly a lie.

Human Korvo and Human Terry starts signing the custody papers for Sonya while the Foster Owner continues walking to the Foster Care Agent.

Foster Care Owner: You are not longer part of that system. After testing Korey and Terry’s parenting and the results have been positive, they now have full custody of Sonya. And further more, if anything else has happen to Sonya, you will be held responsible.

The foster care agent gasps and growls

Foster Care Agent: But I love those little brats! gets tripped by Cherie’s foot and screams as she falls on the floor You can’t do this to me!

Cherie: I just did, bitch!

Cherie shuts the door as the foster care agent lies there in defeat. Then, Human Korvo talks to Sonya while holding her close.

Human Korvo: Hey, Sonya.

Sonya sniffles.

Human Korvo: Listen Sonya… I know I can’t replace your mother and father. But I want you to know Terry and I are gonna the best we can to take care of you. We promise, we’ll be with you your life. We’ll be there at every gymnastics. We know your favorite foods and allergies that we can protect you from. Well buy you your first prom dress and we’ll be there for your wedding even though it’s gonna be hard to take you away… it’s gonna be okay Sonya.

Sonya: Thanks, Korey.

Human Korvo: whispering Please… call me Korvo…

Sonya hugs Human Korvo as he smiles in tears. Then, Human Yumyulack and Mark came in while holding hands.

Human Korvo: Yumyulack?

He then notices Mark and Yumyulack holding hands. Then, Human Korvo smiles.

Human Korvo: You two sure had fun.

Human Jesse starts teasing.

Human Jesse: So, did you two have your first kiss?

Human Yumyulack: smiling Yeah. We did.

Mark kisses Human Yumyulack on the cheek. Then, Human Yumyulack notices Cherie. Cherie gasps when she sees Human Yumyulack.

Cherie: takes a deep breath in apologetic manner Hey Yumyulack.

Human Yumyulack: The waitress from the shrimp restaurant?

Cherie: Yes. Look. I don’t blame you for shrinking me. And I am so sorry I gave you shrimp. I had no idea you inherited from your grandmother.

Human Yumyulack: My grandmother? Korvo, what is she…

Cherie: It’s okay. Your dad told me everything. And I am very sorry I nearly got you killed. But I also want to thank you and your sister. You changed my life for the better and that led to me having a better life my baby Pezlie and Montez.

Human Jesse: sniffs Great. Now you’ve got me all emotional!

Human Yumyulack is surprised as he began to feel remorseful and looks down. Human Korvo notices this and comes up to his son.

Human Korvo: Yumyulack? Hey, it’s gonna be okay.

Human Yumyulack: I thought that you would hate me more if you find out. That you would kill me.

Human Korvo: What? Why would you think that?

Human Yumyulack: Because, I’ve been such a pain in the neck.

Human Korvo: Yumyulack…

Human Yumyulack: And I know you don’t think I’m a pain…

Human Yumyulack starts crying.

Human Korvo: Oh Yumyulack…

Human Korvo hugs Human Yumyulack, as Human Yumyulack cries into Human Korvo’s chest. Human Korvo hugs Human Yumyulack.

Human Korvo: Shh… it’s okay my little sprout… daddy’s here…

Human Korvo then soothes Human Yumyulack’s face.

Human Yumyulack: You’re not mad?

Human Korvo: Yumyulack, I mow you shrink those people because some of them were jerks but most them we’re good and it was wrong. But you made their lives better… you may be a pain. But, you’re always gonna be my kid.

Human Yumyulack sniffles as Human Korvo smiles and hold him close.

Human Yumyulack: Thanks, dad.

Human Jesse and Sonya: touched by this moment Aaw.

Human Terry sniffles as he smiles and wipes his tears. Then, Human AISHA came busting in.

Human AISHA: Korvo! There’s something I gotta…

Human Korvo: AISHA?!

Human AISHA then notices Sonya.

Human AISHA: Who’s this?

Human Korvo: Sonya. She’s our new daughter.

Human Jesse: And our new sister!

Human AISHA: Oh. Anyway, there’s something I need to tell you.

But then, she notices the happy faces of the family who are welcoming Sonya in open arms that caused her to change her mind, not wanting to break her family’s heart about the truth about Korvo.

Human AISHA: Nevermind…

Human AISHA sighs.

Human AISHA: Congratulations Korvo. I think Sonya is gonna be happy here. With us.

Human Korvo: Thank you.

Human AISHA starts sniffle as she wipes away her tears. The scene cuts back to Kano having a discussion with Barry, Lou, Caitlin and Dr. Weatherstone.

Kano: I think you know why we’re here.

Dr. Weatherstone: Yes. Definitely.

Kano: You know, the last thing we all want is to never stop trying to bring back Cheery. We need to honor her by honoring her plan.

Barry: Kano, we're all pretty clear on your opinion. I wanna hear everybody else's.

Dr. Weatherstone: Okay. I choose for Cheery. Kano is right. Cherry would choose for us? Right Lou?

Lou: I’m gonna have to go for Naomi to stay. Because, resurrecting the dead is unnatural.

Dr. Weatherstone: Caitlin?

Kano: That’s two to one. Let me guess: you're with me, right? That way, your super-hubby can tip the scales to Cheery.

Caitlin: Uh, no, I choose Cheery. I have my reasons, but that's how I feel.

Kano: Well, that’s three to one.

Barry: still mad at Cheery I just need more time to think about it…

Kano: Well, think about it all you want, boss man, but in eight hours, I'm doing this, with or without you, and if you try to stop me, you'll have no one but yourself to blame for the fallout!

Naomi: offscreen You can blame me!

Everyone turns to see Naomi.

Naomi: holding a picture of the Solars They’re like.. a family. Now they’re gonna be torn apart… and it’s all my fault! I wish I never been made… leaves

Dr. Weatherstone gasps. The scientists turn away in shame. Then, Naomi hears a familiar voice.

Cheery: offscreen Naomi?

Naomi turns to see Cheery. Then, she sees the humans behind her. Naomi runs to Cheery’s arms in tears as she cries into Cheery’s chest.

Cheery: Hey, what’s wrong?

Naomi: crying Kano was lying to me! He said that corpse was you and it brought back a crazy woman. He lied to me about everything! I was wrong about this whole world! I am so sorry… you’ve all been so nice to me and I don’t deserve you friendsh-

Ms. Perez: What?! No! Please stay! You saved AISHA’s life.

Humans: Yeah. Please stay. We just got to know you!

Kevin’s Kids: Aw please don’t go. Please.

Randall: crying hysterically I’M STILL CRYING BECAUSE YOU SAVED HER LIFE!

Naomi is surprised that no one is mad at her..

Naomi: You all want me to stay?

Cheery: Of course. You deserve to live. Please stay?

Humans: Please?

Naomi looks at Cheery and smiles.

Naomi cries into Cheery’s shoulders as she comforts her. Then, Kano, Barry, Caitlin and Dr. Weatherstone walks up to the group.

Kano: Hey! You guys are not allowed in there!

However, the humans stare angrily at Barry, Kano and Caitlin. Weatherstone then looks at them sadly.

Jamie: Barry… why did you destroy that device?

Barry: We were just talking about you.

Kevin’s Wife: Yeah we know. We heard everything.

Barry: Wait! Let me explain what’s been going on with Cheery, okay-

Darcy: Explain what?! What are you gonna explain?! That you never wanted to see Cheery’s face again?! She was heartbroken!

Miss Frankie: What were you thinking? There is another crazy evil version of Terry running around the place thanks to you! You nearly got our friends killed!

Barry: I tried to tell you guys! But, Cheery was about to make a bullshit mistake of raising the undead! And I had no choice but to get rid of it-

Principal Cooke: No! No! You do not get to fucking do that! You cannot use Naomi as an excuse for nearly killing Cheery is not how a team is supposed to work! This whole time, we supported her! She was try to recover for her grief! So now you don’t want her and Terry around anymore?! You could’ve rescpted it enough to tell it to our fucking faces! I HAD IT! I’M DONE!

Principal Cooke leaves in a huff, alongside Miss Frankie.

Miss Frankie: Yeah! Me too! leaves

As the humans, along with Cheery and Naomi leave, Weatherstone decided to join them. But, Barry stops her.

Barry: Wait Weatherstone! Wait! You can’t join them! Just try to talk them…

Dr. Weatherstone: Okay please don’t that Barry! I don’t need you to take care of me! I’m not that scared little girl I used to be anymore! Those guys are right, this isn’t right! Whatever is you want to do, do you… do you think this it?

Barry froze in shock. Dr. Weatherstone then leaves as she takes her purse and dries her tears away. Then, she walks up to the gang and they grow shock.

Janice: Weatherstone?

Dr. Weatherstone: Room for more on the bus? Solars?

The others then nod in agreement. Then, Miss Frankie, Cheery, Ms. Perez, Darcy and Janice squeals in joy as they embrace Weatherstone in open arms.

Miss Frankie: Welcome to the sisterhood!

Naomi smiles at this moment.

Barry sighs sadly as he watches Naomi leaves. Later, “Never Gonna Be Alone” from Nickelback plays as the Solars take Sonya home in their car:

Human Korvo: So you ready to see your new home?

Sonya nods. The Solars head to their home. The Solars turn back into their normal Shlorpian selves as Sonya becomes surprised..

Sonya: Woah. Awesome!

Jesse: I know right? Thanks! Come on Sonya, we’re gonna show you to our room!

Sonya: Okay!

The children laugh as Korvo smiles at his now four kids as Terry kiss him on the cheek.

Cue good time montage

Sonya is setting up her bed, while Yumyulack talks to her about his book and Jesse is jumping on her bed in joy. The scene cuts to Korvo and Terry having sex. After the two cum, Terry and Korvo smile lovingly at each other.

Then, it cuts to Naomi moving into a nice homeless shelter as she smiles and waves at Cheery, who waves back at her.

Then, it cuts to Sonya going to school with Human Yumyulack and Human Jesse. Mark meets up with Human Yumyulack and the two share a passionate kiss. Stacy G and Monica smiles as they meet with Human Jesse and Sonya as Stacy G and Monica smiles and welcomes her in open arms. Sonya smiles and hugs Stacy G

Then it fades to Cheery tending her garden with Naomi. She sadly then remembers as a flashback appears. The flashback shows Cheery at Alex’s funeral as she cries over her casket. She then places a flower as she tearfully walks away. The flashback ends as Cheery takes a look at Alex’s ghost and spirit as she smiles. Cheery has finally accepted Alex’s death as she waves at her ghost as Alex’s ghost waves back.

Cheery: Goodbye, my love.

As Alex’s ghost fades away in piece, Cheery smiles and heads over to Naomi, as the two young women starts holding hands. The scene then cuts to a picnic where the Humans Solars, now with Sonya included playing football.

Human Yumyulack: Hike!

Human Yumyulack throws the ball as Sonya catches it. The family keeps playing as Cherie, Montez, Nova, Pezlie, Human AISHA, Cheery, her moms, Naomi and Monica and her parents smiles. Human Pupa catches the football as the family cheer and they dogpile on Human Korvo as they laugh. The scene then cuts to nightime as Terry and Korvo tuck their kids to bed.

Terry: Night, kids. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

Yumyulack: Okay… yawns as Korvo kiss him on the forehead and he falls asleep

The husbands leave the room and smiles seductively.

Terry: So, wanna have some fun, sugar?

Korvo: Oh-ho. Fuck yeah I do!

The scene then cuts to Terry and Korvo naked while Korvo is asleep. Terry smiles and kisses Korvo on the forehead. Terry then smiles and looks at himself in the mirror while looking at a family picture. Terry wipes away a tear from his eye as the song in the background ends.

Terry: sighs and smiles I’m so glad I have my husband, four kids, nanny and friends with me. That is who I am.

Terry then feels Korvo’s hand on Terry’s cheek. Terry smiles and sees Korvo sleeping on him. Terry smiles and heads back to sleep as he holds Korvo close snuggles with him while kissing him on the forehead. Korvo lets out a little giggle.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Toontown: Corporate Clash Recap: Barnacle Boatyard Mainline Tasks (Wade)

Okay so, upon turning in “Find the Rain”, you receive the first Barnacle Boatyard Mainline Task:

Oh Barnacles

To complete the first step, you must speak with Flippy in Toon Hall at Toontown Central Playground.

“Welcome back, [Toon Name].”

“So, Lord Lowden Clear made it apparent that you’ve assisted them with everything you possibly could this point.”

“Since this is the case, I do have a new job for you that I think you’re ready for.”

“As you may have experienced yourself, there’s many places to visit here in Toontown.”

“And they’re all experiencing the invasion of Cogs all around.”

“There was one place that held out for a while…”

“But was the most recent playground to experience the flood of Cogs swarming their streets.”

“Each playground had an ambassador of sorts assigned. I presume you’ve heard this term before, correct?”

“These Toons are supposed to help organize and strategize with their HQ Officers, much like me here in Toontown Central.”

“I need you to go over to the Barnacle Boatyard playground as soon as you can.”

“We’ve recently promoted Barnacle Bessie to ambassador of Barnacle Boatyard.”

“I’m sure she could really use this assistance.”

“Oh, and she’s in the lighthouse on Lighthouse Lane now, it’s her base of operations.”

“Just take Punchline Place to get to Barnacle Boatyard, and from there you can find her on Lighthouse Lane.”

“I’ll leave this in your hands, [Toon Name]. You’re a Toon of the resistance now, and a darn good one.”

“Show us why we continue to put these tasks in your hands. The best of luck to you!”

Speaking with Flippy here rewards 178 experience and 7 jellybeans.

But with Resistance Ranger Rain being a bit too busy getting repeatedly kidnapped by the Derrick Man, you’re gonna have to pick up the slack.

And before you ask, yes, these ambassadors are going to be important later on.

Now, to get to Barnacle Boatyard from Toontown Central, you can just walk down Punchline Place, as the tunnel at the end connects to Buccaneer Boulevard. From there, head straight to the Playground and stop by the Lighthouse in Lighthouse Lane.

Barnacle Bessie is a green duck in a purple shirt and a lavender polka dot skirt.

“AH!!”

“OH, thank Flippy!”

“I thought you were one of those Cogs for a second!”

“Please pardon me, I’m just really all over the place lately…”

“I’ve been on the Toon Resistance for a while…”

“And while I may be notable for my experience with drop gags, I really do prefer to keep my distance from any Cog.”

“Ever since this swarm started, I’ve been fearing the day they made their way here to Barnacle Boatyard.”

“You see, I’ve spent a lot of my toony life here, enjoying the docks, swimming in the water, water-skiing, boating, everything you could possibly imagine.”

“It was a water paradise here. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to it.”

“And it didn’t, not at least for a while anyways.”

“It turns out the water all around Barnacle Boatyard made it quite tasking for the Cogs to make it here.”

“But they’ve finally managed it, and their numbers have been increasing each and every day.”

“Since then I’ve been promoted to ambassador and moved here into this lighthouse.”

“I can see the Cogs coming in and be prepared to siren if something critical happens.”

“But I’m not the only new promotion in this playground.”

“With the big burst of Cogs, we all knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle all the Cogs myself.”

“We got the most experienced Toon we could get on short notice moved in, that being our HQ leader Resistance Ranger River.”

“If only Resistance Ranger Rain didn’t get caught up…”

“I’ve got a lot of sorting to do here, but the Cogs are roaming the streets more than ever.”

“A lot of Toons here haven’t experienced anything like them before.”

“I need you to go talk to Resistance Ranger River in the playground headquarters and help her in setting Toons here up for success.”

“I’m grateful you’re here, [Toon Name]. Welcome to Barnacle Boatyard.”

“Good luck!”

Speaking with Barnacle Bessie rewards 178 experience and 7 jellybeans.

And you can see the issue here: they were not prepared for the influx of Cogs, and are swiftly getting overwhelmed. It’s up to you to stop them.

The next step is to head to Toon HQ and speak with River, the Resistance Ranger. She’s an Aqua Mouse in Barnacle Boatyard’s Playground’s Toon HQ.

Here’s what she has to say:

“Welcome to the Barnacle Boatyard Headquarters!”

“Barnacle Bessie sent you here to help us, huh?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, we can use any toony hands we can get. So welcome aboard.”

“Let me introduce you, I’m Resistance Ranger River, and behind this desk you can find my trusty HQ Officers, Dover, Misty, and Wade.”

“We’re all a bit new to this, so bear with us. We have a lot to do and a lot to help with. So let’s get to work, shall we?”

“First I want you to help Wade with tasks I’ve assigned him. He’s the newest member on this HQ officer team and as such could use the help the most.”

“Good luck.”

Speaking with her rewards the player with 178 experience and 7 Jellybeans.

Wade is an HQ Officer, but not a Resistance Ranger. He’s a tall, red horse in a sailor cap and eyepatch.

“You’re here to help us right?”

“That’s great, cause I wasn’t feeling too confident myself…”

“But maybe you can show me how it’s done, especially from what I overheard was happening in Toontown Central.”

“The first major task I have is to go and see Fred Flounder at Lost and Flounder on Lighthouse Lane.”

“Apparently when the Cogs swarmed Toons dropped what they were doing and ran off to their shops and estates, literally and figuratively.”

“Fred has had the job of going around to collect these items and return them to their owners.”

“Can you go see him and help him hand the items back? It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Thanks, [Toon Name]!”

Completing the task rewards 178 experience, 7 jellybeans, and begins the next Mainline Task:

Butter Flippers

The first step is, as implied above, speaking to Fred Flounder. Fred is a lime rabbit wearing a detective hat, round glasses, telescope backpack, maroon bottom stripe shirt, and sea green shorts with belts.

“Oh… Hey!”

“You’re not looking for one of your lost items, are you?”

“Great! Cause I’m in a bit of a pickle…”

“You see, I’m a bit of a flounder, and these Cogs are rather intimidating and frightening.”

“So I was minding my own business, walking down the sidewalk as instructed with these items for the shopkeepers…”

“And then I saw one of those bigger looking robots strolling right for me.”

“I floundered in the moment, and I kind of… dropped them.”

“If you can go around and find the items I dropped around Barnacle Boatyard, I’d really appreciate it.”

You’re rewarded with 178 experience and 7 jellybeans. You’re also tasked with recovering 3 “Lost Items” from the Cogs in Barnacle Boatyard.

“Oh happy day! Thank you so much, you’re a real lifesaver!”

“There’s just one other important thing I dropped that I saw the Cogs scoop up…”

“It was a box… OF EVERYONE’S LOST AND FOUND ITEMS!!”

“Oh no… I’m floundering again!!”

“Please, just hurry back with the box, before someone comes asking where their rubber ducky or sombrero is at…”

Bringing the lost items back to Fred Flounder rewards 178 experience and 7 Jellybeans. But now you’ve gotta recover “A Lost and Found Box” from the Cogs in Barnacle Boatyard and return it to Fred Flounder.

“Thank you again for covering my tailfin on this one…”

“You’re inspiring me to get this job done, and get it done right.”

“So here I go!”

“WATCH OUT COGS, HERE COMES FRED FLOUNDER!”

“Thanks again, [Toon Name]. I got it from here!”

“There’s not going to be lost items anymore!”

“Let the HQ officers know that I’ve got it all figured out, thanks again!”

With 1435 experience and 57 jellybeans in hand, it’s time to report back to Wade.

“Done already?”

“Fantastic, I’ll just check that one off the list then.”

“Let’s see here…”

“Ah… yes…”

“I have it written down to check up on old Mr. Ahab.”

“He’s been reportedly acting out of character and being risky…”

“He’s reportedly gone out on the streets and toyed with the Cogs, tipping them over and yelling at them when he can.”

“If you could, can you go over and talk to him and see what that’s been all about?”

“Thanks, [Toon Name]. Good luck.”

Completing this task earns the player 288 experience, 10 Jellybeans, and Wade’s Next Task:

Someone’s Been Drinking Seawater

You need to visit Ahab at Ahab’s Prehab Sea Crab Center on Seaweed Street. This rewards the player with 288 experience and 10 jellybeans.

Ahab’s dialogue isn’t saved on the wiki, but I do remember enough from this task to give you the gist of what’s going on. Namely, he wants to make you a pirate.

First, he needs you to defeat 6 Cogs in Barnacle Boatyard.

Report back to him for 288 more experience and 10 more jellybeans.

For the next step to becoming a pirate, you need a hat. Thus, Ahab sends you to Topsy Turvy at Cap Size Hat Store on Lighthouse Lane. Speaking to them rewards you with 288 experience and 10 jellybeans

Topsy needs you to recover “Some Suit Thread” from a Double Talker.

When you deliver this thread to Topsy Turvy, they use it to make your hat. This rewards the player with 1727 experience, 60 jellybeans, and a Pirate Hat to wear.

You can also now, finally report back to Wade at Toon HQ, having apparently resolved the issue, I guess…

“Looking good! Ahab’s managed to convert yet another Toon into a swashbuckler, huh?”

“Well, all I gotta say is I’m sure glad to hear the commotion’s just him wanting to protect Barnacle Boatyard.”

“I was afraid he was starting to drink the salt water again!” “Anyways, that covers all the big issues I’ve got assigned to me now.”

“I have just a few small things here and there, like helping fix that creaky door over on Buccaneer Boulevard.”

“I do think Dover needed some help however, if I recall correctly.”

“Why don’t you go over and help him out?”

“Thanks for all the excellent work, [Toon Name]!”

And with that, Wade’s “arc” has been resolved.

Next time, we cover Dover’s arc.

-

I know I’ve said it before but by FUCK the wordplay here.

Also I don’t think I’d want to be known as ‘barnacle bessie’.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Monster, Inc.

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss is an asshole, you know this. But what happens when he turns his wrath upon you? (plus!reader)

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, this reader is known as Missie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

You sweep in with an armful. Two! You push through the door with your ass and barely keep from falling onto it. As ever, you enter in a whirlwind of to dos and currently being dones. You breeze over to your desk and carefully lower your load, blowing out through your lips. Whew. 

You peer over at the office door. The place is desolate. You’re always the first in, the last one gone. You can blame your boss’ high standards but that’s not fair. You put just as much pressure on yourself. 

You unlock Mr. Hansen’s office door and set about sorting through your list. You hang his suit jackets that you picked up last night and put the new pair of Prada loafers he ordered on the little rack across the bottom. Then you bring in his usual coffee in the gold insulated mug engraved with the company logo. Then you set out that special little treat you spent your morsel of free time baking. 

You carefully place the numbered candles on the mini cheesecake and stand with a proud smile. You never forget to dot and i or cross a t. You think that’s why you’ve lasted longer than any other PA under Hansen’s wise guidance. You anticipate his needs before they even come up. 

You hear him coming and light the candles before you rush to the door. You swiftly step outside and out of his way as he shoves his briefcase into your arms and tosses his jacket at you. You catch the latter and wait for him to enter before you trail after him. You put his briefcase on his desk as he goes around the other side and swiftly hang his jacket with his freshly cleaned suits. 

He noisily flicks back the lid of the travel mug then let out a hum. You know that hum. He’s not happy. He hasn’t even tasted it. What’s the problem. You turn and smooth the ruffles of your polka dot skirt. 

“Sir? Is the coffee not hot enough?” 

“What the fuck is this?” He stares at his desk with a sneer. 

“Sir?” 

“What the fuck!” He raises his voice. 

“Oop! Happy birthday, sir!” You trill and come closer, peeking past his iMac at the flickering flames on the 4 and the 6. 

He snarls at the candles and picks up the waxy 6. You blink, surprised by his reaction. You don’t understand. It’s a nice birthday surprise.  

“Sir, It’s tiramisu cheesecake. I know you like the stuff from down at White’s but--” 

He throws the little candle at you and the melting wax drips on your ruffled collar. You cry out and catch it as the flame goes out. He does the same with the other and scalds your inner arm. You cradle the candles as he takes the cakes and tosses it like a frisbee toward the door. You gulp. 

You’ve seen Mr. Hansen angry before. It’s his favourite emotion but it’s never been because of you. His blue eyes narrow at you and he curls his lips. 

“I don’t need some young fucking bimbo like you reminding me how old I am,” he snaps and picks up the travel mug, slurping loudly, “get the fuck out of my sight. And clean that up.” 

“I’m sorry, sir, I thought--” 

“You thought?” He barks, “not hard enough, hips.” 

You wince. His little pet names aren’t as sweet as they might seem and he rarely hurls them at you. No, he calls the women in the copier room sugar tits and baby, but not you. You look down at your skirt, the frills don’t make you seem any less wide. His reminder of your size stings, not that you hate yourself, but he can be so nasty. 

“Yes, sir,” you answer brightly. 

He sighs and falls into his large leather chair. He mutters into the cup as you go off to grab paper towel to clean up the desecrated cheesecake. You return with the wastebasket from beside your desk and set to wiping up the ruins. 

“You really need to make those things look any bigger? I should send you down to HR,” he snips. 

You look up, confused. You shake your head as you put another clump in the bin, “Mr. Hansen?” 

“Whatever that is...” he gestures to his collar and you look down at your ruffly collar, “it’s not doing you any favours.” 

“Thank you, sir, I’ll donate the blouse,” you agree. 

“Even the poor idiots down at Goodwill don’t deserve that,” he scoffs. 

He’s in a mood. You’re not prepared for it. You assumed his birthday would be a happy day. It’s your own fault for trying to predict him. He’s hard to account for.  

You finish up and grab the roll of towels and the bin. You stand and something flies over your shoulder. You flinch and turn to look down at his golden pen. You stare, perplexed. 

“Well, pick it up, hips.” You shrug and obey. As you bend over, he chortles, “damn, wide load.” 

You snap up, embarrassment singing your neck and cheeks. You turn and hurry over to place the pen on his desk. You dip your head and quickly retreat. 

“Ah, cheeks, don’t be so shy. Some guys like the extra cushion,” he snickers. 

“Sir, can I get you anything else?” You stop by the door. It’s better not to feed into his little game. This is fun for him. 

“Some fucking peace and quiet. Get out.” 

You don’t hesitate to do exactly that. You shut the door and cross to your desk. You put the bun down and swerve towards the break room to put the towels away. You return to your desk and sit, recentering yourself as you ready yourself for the daily rundown. Before you can open up the calendar, a notification pops up in the corner.  

Mr. Hansen? 

You click on it and revealed in the chat is a picture of your ass as you bend over to grab the pen. You cringe. He can see that you read the message. The little eye icon pops down beside the picture. 

‘Cancel my nine o’clock’ his next message pops up. 

‘Yes, Mr. Hansen,’ you type back. 

His dot turns to red. Unavailable. Right. He is bristly this morning, it’s best he doesn’t have anyone else around to provoke him. 

[theworldsafuckingslaughterhouse]

Here is a rant I wrote

The other day I found this angry rant on my laptop I must have written a few years ago, so here it is. (*It's written as though it was being said on stage in much the way a standup comedian might perform it)

Hello yes hi how are we all?

You’re out! In the real world. Experiencing a real thing. Not watching the coloured box of death. The little metal shouty thing that’s invaded all our lives!

I can’t even watch Television anymore, it’s become too out of touch. It’s insane the things they think we should be watching. You see it with marketing you know, these adverts. Once upon a time, advertisements made sense. They were straight forward, using logical people to sell you useful things. You’d be sitting there covered in fresh blood and a woman with big hair would say, “Get the stains out in 2 hours with minimal scrubbing! Ajax” or whatever. So you’d buy the thing. Because it made sense and you needed it anyway and you didn’t feel tricked.

Now they approach it in a different way. It’s much more aggressive and manipulative. You have a woman doing the dishes and then the husband comes home from work or school or wherever they go and he says, “Beverly I don’t love you anymore.” And she turns, this image of Mary Berry in a polka dot dress and says, “I’m sleeping with your father. Hahahaha.” And shoots him in the head. And then it goes, “Ajax, because you deserve better” or something like that and it feels a little… detached from reality. They stopped selling us products and started selling us these dreams of what they think we want. I remember when cooking shows made sense. A woman would come out and show you how to set the timer on your microwave so the chicken didn’t dry out too much or come alive or something. Now they’ve fetishized the baked beans to such an extent that kids turn to their parents at dinner time and say, “Is it fried in truffle oil? No? Then I’m not having it. Would you at least making a fucking effort Mother.”

And all this fetishized nonsense has pushed the price up. I remember when you didn’t need a second mortgage just to afford a bag of onions. I remember when I could by onions and tomatoes in the same month. And they didn’t have to be organic! You used to be able to choose. You could choose between buying organic or not starving, and it was a decision we all got to make each week.

Then there’s these home living shows, do you ever try to watch these? The young couple who had a significant family member die, inherited a few million and decided to convert an abandoned petrol station into a 2 bedroom bungalow with a chocolate swimming pool and walk in freezer. Again, we fetishized houses so the market went crazy and now you have to be a lawyer-prostitute to afford one.

So what do they do to help us deal with the disappointment? Drugs! “Do you ever get thirsty?” a man in a white coat who looks vaguely like the eldest child from Home Improvement asks. Looking up from your jug of rum you say, “Yes! Yes I do.”

Well you might have OLDD or Oral Liquid Digesting Dysfunction.

Shit, you think, what can I do about it?

Next comes a lovely image of a man taking his shoes off at the beach and the voice over goes, “For just the price of a small corvette each year, we can help you feel like this guy with sand between his toes.” And your drunken self struggles with this notion. But meanwhile you’re already signing up to a 12 year subscription and purchasing the loose-your-pills insurance plan at the same time.

So this idea of tv aspirations just isn’t sustainable. You can’t be gods like the presenters you watch. You can never purchase enough shit to be king. And if you try and set your aspirations where they want you to, you’ll end up a withered corpse gripping a box of golden cornflakes in a public bathroom being eaten alive by wolves.

Thank you very much.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Family Traditions

1.5k words, very much a Halloween short story. Tw: suicide, blood, murder, death, loss/grief. Enjoy

“Crestfallen.” Eva supplied. She smiled widely, undoubtedly proud of the expansive vocabulary she’d picked up from countless hours left unsupervised in her parent’s library.

“Yes, my darling,” Her father replied, his eager gaze lingered on her a moment. “I would certainly say as much.” Their subject was a man, mid-forties with frightened blue eyes. He squirmed against Father’s muscled arms, not quite enough to be any real resistance. Eva could just about chalk it up to discomfort if she thought about it.

His lips moved around the makeshift gag in his mouth, a spare length of cloth. He was trying to speak to her, futilely by all means. Eva almost laughed at this attempt, afterall he was being honoured, no punishment to speak of. She offered him a grin in response and he, surprisingly, fought against Father’s hold with renewed vigour. The look of terror that flitted across his sharp features would haunt her for years upon years.

A shadowed figure danced at the edges of Eva’s vision before long.

“Arden,” She said sharply, “Stop lurking in my peripheral.”

Just like that her brother’s slim silhouette wordlessly slunk out of the shadows and to her side.

Eventually, Eva huffed, “Do get on with it, would you?” Her tone left no room for any assumption of it being a request. The man’s squirming abruptly ceased. The fire’s light offered a dim view, a single tear as it trailed its way down his cheek. The father brandished his body as if a shield, drawing a blade skilfully across the man’s throat.

Mother’s voice rang in her ears, a ghost of a memory.

Get back. The blood will spray and there will be more of it than you’ll expect.

Her voice was soft, sweet but jittery, stopping and starting erratically at random intervals. At this moment, she was tying an intricate pattern into Eva’s hair, finishing with a red ribbon, blood-red, rather ironically. Where our story begins, she had no longer any use for a ribbon in her hair, it was far too short, but the advice- Now that was useful.

This warning, apparently, hadn’t graced Arden’s ears, though Eva could entertain no reason in seven planes why not. While she turned and ran back, toward the ever-changed foliage that served at their scene on this night, Arden stood as though he’d suffered an unfortunate run-in with Medusa,

As the limp body fell lifelessly to the grass, Eva’s father charged for his son, thankfully leaving the silver blade at his back.

He fell to his knees before Arden, taking him by the shoulders and jostling the boy. There wasn’t a hit of reaction from Arden, only silence. A boy devoid of emotion.

Eva’s mind could only find this peculiar- once she’d first seen the event even a conscious mind and moral principles couldn’t halt the smile creeping onto her face- even if she was missing one of her front teeth at the time.

Arden opened his mouth, then closed it again. His face and clothes had taken on a new polka-dot pattern which no stain remover could possibly redeem. Still, he didn’t look horrified, or joyous as Eva had expected, just impassive.

Their father exhaled a heavy breath, then let his son go.

“Evaline.” He called on her, “Take your brother back to the house. Tell your mother what happened.”

Eva understood the potential severity of this incident then. Father only used her full name when things were dire, when she needed to obey him. So, she did what she was told, ruining a perfectly good pair of white boots in the process. On the walk, short as it was, she took it upon herself to berate Arden:

“Do you have any idea what Mother will do when she sees how you’ve ruined that shirt? She’ll have a fit! It was one of your proper ones!”

“Why didn’t you back away? Frankly, you don’t need a warning. It’s sense.”

“Arden! Are you even listening to me? You better not need therapy… actually, no, try and explain this to a therapist. Just make sure it’s recorded for me to watch at my leisure.”

Once more, her brother was expressionless. Eva doubted he was even hearing her. On a grander scale, he’d been lucky, no blood in his eyes or mouth. He would have been luckier if he had stepped back with her, of course, but there was no use on dwelling on that. What’s past is past.

The siblings made haste for home, where upon arrival, Mother carried Arden off to the sitting room with the concerned look only even sported by mothers, leaving Eva behind in the foyer. She whispered as many comments as her underdeveloped mind could muster before sauntering off to her bedroom.

The girl bided her time, listening. She heard her father come home, heavy footsteps muffled by the thick carpet, and her mother go to bed, the ruffle of satin sheets, and her father follow suit, the crackle of static from an old TV. There wasn’t a stir from Arden’s room, it remained silent and unlit. Finally, hall light clicked itself off and everything was plunged into the merciless dark. Eva’s favourite place.

Eva, being of a certain resourcefulness you don’t often see in children of her age, clambered out of bed, torch in hand, and wandered toward the kitchen.

Out of nothing more than habit, she stopped to check the cat, a tabby she swore was older than her mother, leisurely lying by the heater. She checked his pulse first, as he had always lain awfully still. Then the memory hit her. Their cat died seven months ago.

Taxidermy really can do wonderful things, provided it’s given a chance.

Her own stupidity struck her. Even her sorry excuse for a brother had ceased making that mistake. Perhaps it was this day, the shock and the embarrassment finally getting to her.

As she passed, Eva noticed a number of syringes sat on the kitchen island. She swiped her arm across the mass, knocking the objects harmlessly into the bin. Her mother needn't have waited till they were gone, her husband did the same thing in his ‘workspace’ - also known as the garage - every other night. Not that Eva was trying to stop it, not at all. The syringes were already empty, and her mother already had that pleasant look on her face, like she’d been in a world of her own for many hours and just made it back in time for tea.

She took for herself a carton of strawberries, as well as a large glass of milk from the refrigerator.

The floorboards creaked beneath her weight as she ventured back to the sanctuary of her bedroom. Once at the landing between her and Arden’s rooms, Eva took notice of a thin slit under her brother’s door. Evidenced only be the manner by which light poured from it onto the darkened space.

Eva sighed, taking on the responsible role she often played, she placed the strawberries and milk on the floor, moving cautiously as she opened the door to Arden’s bedroom and slipped in through the gap.

Eva cursed, taking on the responsible role she often played. She slipped the strawberries and milk into her own darkened room before, moving cautiously, taking it upon herself to put Arden to bed.

She opened his door a crack, so the pouring light couldn’t alert any adults by spilling out past her, and slipped in.

Sure enough, every light was on- the desk lamp, ceiling light, bedside lamp and even an LED display he’d gotten for his last birthday. It glowed acid green with the words And Remember: Watch Your Mirror. She never understood the reference, but Arden was ecstatic, tackling their mother and hugging her fiercely.

On the far wall, Eva noticed, something blocked the light- a figure’s shadow. She almost laughed at first, pondering the ludicrous reasoning Arden would give to why he was standing stalk-still and ominous in the middle of his room. Then she noticed the angle of which he stood. His shadow was simply too long… to tall. Arden was smaller than her standing, he always had been unless-

Arden wasn’t standing at all.

Eva spun around before she could really consider the choice. She stumbled back against the wall, the little food in her stomach threatening to make a reappearance. The sight before her- Arden, her brother, six inches off the ground, held stuff by a thick rope coiled around his neck like a snake.

She screamed, the hopeless wail of someone who had learned just how unfair the world could be.

Eva screamed until her mother’s shape had embraced her and her father’s shadow was cast over them both, his muscled body blocking the horrific scene.

And she screamed some more.

Until her throat was raw and her lips were chapped. Her eyes were dry, no tears left when finally, finally her vocal cords gave out.

Death had always followed her. Eva would even say she had grown accustomed to its presence, like a comforting pet. But this was a different kind of loss. This was someone who counted on her. Someone she failed.

[questions-from-d87]

oc-tober day 3 - ritual

♤ onyx meets someone special - twice.

♤ 1178 words

♤ prompt from @oc-tober2023

♤ it took me forever to come up with what i was going to do for this one lmao. as i wrote it it kinda morphed into a different thing than it originally was

It was a rainy night. Daisy was still in the hospital.

Her "lovely friend" Mary was coming to visit her, as he said to their parents. He'd met Mary before, upon his own assistance - he needed to make sure she wouldn't hurt Daisy. Sure enough, Mary was a lovely woman who loved her girlfriend dearly, even knowing she was ill.

This had become a daily or almost-daily occurrence for Onyx, but this time would be different - Mary’s husband would be coming.

He remembered when Daisy told him about Mary. He was thrilled when he found out she’d found someone she loved, and didn’t quite understand when he found out a woman was the object of her affection, but he had nothing against it. The concern came in, though, when she told him Mary was married. Thankfully, she quickly explained their arrangement, and that everyone was aware and happy about what was going on - that Mary’s marriage was one of convenience between two best friends. He still wasn’t used to this after spending his childhood with his parents’ rigid rules and beliefs, but he didn’t truly take any issue with it.

When he entered the room, he spotted Mary, with her golden hair and a polka-dot dress, Daisy, in her hospital bed, looking paler than ever, and Theodore.

Theodore was a brown-haired, kind-looking fellow who was just a bit shorter than Onyx. He wore round, golden glasses and a black leather jacket.

"Hello!" Theo extended his hand. "Theodore. Mary’s, ahem…" He looked to Daisy. "He knows about our… arrangement, yes?"

Daisy nodded and gave a wave of her hand. "Yeah, I told him. Don't worry about it."

Theo breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness." His bright smile suddenly seemed a little more genuine.

"Oh, uh, hi. Onyx." He spoke awkwardly, shaking Theo's hand with one hand and rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the other. He wasn't great at meeting new people.

"Oh, no need to be so shy."

Onyx blushed at his awkwardness being pointed out. "Sorry. I just, uh-"

"He's super shy," Daisy interrupted. "Don't worry. Theo's the best."

Theo chuckled softly. Onyx thought he had a nice smile. "Thank you, Miss Daisy."

The four of them spent the next hour or so talking. Onyx learned a lot about Theo - he was a journalist with a rocky relationship with his parents and was Mary’s best friend since childhood. Daisy still wasn't doing any better. He knew this would be the case already, but some part of him still had hope.

As they were leaving, Theo gave him a little side-hug. Onyx flushed.

"My condolences," he said softly. "And, by the way, that jacket really works on you."

Onyx had picked a polygonal flower from the grass. He’d forgotten what real flowers looked like by this point - all he knew were the simple angular shapes of the “King’s flower”, as he’d named it. He gave most of the different types of flowers their own names. The “castle lily” grew in the cracks in the concrete behind the White Castle, the “mystique rose” simply appeared on the ground, cut and long-stemmed, every once in a while, and the “King’s flower” was the most beautiful one, the one most deserving of what he was about to do.

Onyx slowly walked on his toes to the corner he’d dedicated to this little ritual of his. He would sit there for a moment and drop the flower in the grass. The next day, it would be gone thanks to the nightly resets. He liked to think it was going to Daisy, though logically it didn’t make any sense.

He set the flower in the grass carefully and looked down at it. Daisy would’ve liked this one, with its milk-white petals and perfectly round yellow center.

The sun had gone down and the fireflies were slowly coming out one by one. One of them landed on the surface of the flower petal before flittering away.

He started to sniffle. Daisy would’ve loved the cool weather.

It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be here right now at all. Daisy deserved to live her long, happy life, but the poor girl spent her last days bedridden in a hospital. And Onyx should have died years ago. Now he was a stupid moth-thing in this stupid hell of a world –

“Oh, dear, are you alright?”

Onyx’s head snapped back. He’d been too focused to even hear anyone approaching, and when he looked, he saw a figure he recognized.

Standing tall in a top hat, red bowtie, opera gloves and a rainbow trailing in wobbly lines down the jacket on their torso, he’d seen the figure in the shadows before. He’d thought them dangerous - how was he to know the intentions of some daunting thing with eight arms that’s always hiding in the shadows?

Their voice was deep and gentle, friendly in tone, as if the two already knew each other.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Their mouth, full of pointed teeth, didn’t move as they spoke. It simply flipped from a smile to a frown. “You seem upset. Is everything alright?”

Onyx wiped his eyes. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Thanks.” He cocked his head slightly, taking in the being’s appearance. Though their looks were a little intimidating, they seemed nice.

“Uh, hi. Onyx.” He found himself a little tongue-tied. Meeting new people still wasn’t his forte, especially not after not speaking to anyone for so long.

Suddenly, the spider-person in front of him gasped. “Oh, I knew I’d seen those wings before!” They crouched down to meet Onyx’s eye. Their mouth was moving with their speech now - and their form was… flickering. Onyx didn’t know the right word to use for it, but at the speed of a blink of an eye, every few seconds, the person’s form would change and revert back like nothing had happened. That other form was a human… and one that looked awfully familiar.

“Oh, Onyx, it’s Theodore! Remember? Mary’s husband?” He wrapped his eight thin arms around him. "It's wonderful to see you, my friend."

Onyx hugged him back, a little flustered, but happy to see him. "I thought you were dead. Well, you are dead, but I thought you were dead-dead."

"Not quite." They separated, but Theo still kept an arm around Onyx’s shoulder. Onyx hadn't felt touch from another physical being in years - he couldn't help but lean into it a little.

"If I'd known it was you… I wouldn't have been avoiding you this whole time."

"And I would've known what to call you while you were running away." He chuckled. His voice seemed significantly deeper than Onyx remembered. He had a milk-white flush on his face from excitement - apparently that was what rosy cheeks looked like on him. Maybe Onyx was just weird, or maybe he didn't look half bad.

"Would you like to… spend a bit of time together, every once in a while? It gets a little lonely here."

"You mean 'be friends'?" Onyx smiled shyly and nodded. "I could use one."