#Pokémon x Only Murders in the Building

[fierykitten2]

Wait, you’re telling me there’s a Japanese dub of Only Murders in the Building and the guy who voices over Oliver (my favourite character) also voices Cobalion (I’m currently obsessed with its Paradox counterpart)!

[nanoko857]

9 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @doublechocolate <3

Three ships: CoAi/ShinShi, ReiShi, AKAM

First Ship: Ash x Misty (Pokémon)

Last Song: EL ÚNICO - CA7RIEL & Paco Amoroso

Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once

Currently reading: CoAi fanfics XD

Currently watching:

Ranma 1/2 (2024)

Abbott Elementary

Only Murders in the Building

The Judge From Hell

High Potential

Currently eating: Kiwi berries and strawberries

Currently craving: Pho and Ai Haibara content

tagging (no pressure): @letstrywritingmaybe, @runawaycarouselhorse, @kalopsiarts, @bastionbibi, @rinzer

[best-tv-theme-song]

Round 1 is over, full results below!

Round 2 will start on Monday.

What are your most devastating losses this round?? Mine are Milo Murphy's Law, Gilmore Girls, That 70s Show, and Reba. (No respect around here for a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops)

Group A

The Addams Family vs. Fairy Tail

Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat vs. Goosebumps

Wizards of Waverly Place (S1-3) vs. Ed, Edd n Eddy

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood vs. Only Murders in the Building

The Backyardigans vs. Downton Abbey

Naruto vs. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Dexter's Laboratory vs. Kenan & Kel

Parks and Recreation vs. Jujutsu Kaisen

Danny Phantom vs. Pippi Longstocking/Pippi Långstrump

My Life as a Teenage Robot vs. My Hero Academia

Sabrina the Teenage Witch vs. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (S4-7)

Little Einsteins vs. The Benny Hill Show

Teletubbies vs. Ted Lasso

VeggieTales vs. Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Lizzie McGuire vs. The Proud Family

Steven Universe (Original Theme) vs. The A-Team

Group B

Doctor Who (New S1-2) vs. Charlie's Angels

Thomas & Friends vs. Bob's Burgers

Community vs. The Brady Bunch

Adventure Time vs. Ever After High

Seinfeld vs. Ranma ½

Batman vs. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Monty Python's Flying Circus vs. One Piece (2023)

Friends vs. Rocko's Modern Life

Sesame Street (S1-23) vs. Saved by the Bell

Total Drama vs. Monk

Full House vs. Winx Club (We Are the Winx)

Looney Tunes vs. Murder, She Wrote

M*A*S*H vs. South Park

Pinky and the Brain vs. Happy Days

One Day at a Time (2017) vs. The Suite Life on Deck

Pokémon (Pokémon Theme) vs. The Andy Griffith Show

Group C

Gravity Falls vs. Milo Murphy's Law

Horrible Histories vs. Leverage

Neon Genesis Evangelion vs. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

The Simpsons vs. Samurai Jack

The Golden Girls vs. Wonder Pets!

Merlin vs. El Chavo del Ocho

Victorious vs. CSI: Miami

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic vs. Smallville

Good Omens vs. Good Luck Charlie

House, M.D. vs. Pride and Prejudice

LazyTown vs. The Big Bang Theory

Bob the Builder vs. Wild Kratts

New Girl vs. Infinity Train

Arthur vs. I Love Lucy

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

The X-Files vs. Pucca

Group D

The Fairly OddParents vs. X-Men: The Animated Series

Sherlock vs. Monster High

Spider-Man vs. Revolutionary Girl Utena

Orange Is the New Black vs. Hunter × Hunter

The Office vs. Angel: The Series

Law & Order (SVU) vs. Arcane: League of Legends

BoJack Horseman vs. Wonder Woman

Jeopardy! vs. Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody vs. Taskmaster

Totally Spies! vs. Yellowjackets

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia vs. Ouran High School Host Club (Japanese)

Yuri on Ice vs. Samurai Champloo

Ducktales (1987) vs. Charmed

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood vs. Shaun the Sheep

How It's Made vs. Tokyo Ghoul

Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! vs. The Emperor's New School

Group E

Kim Possible vs. Once Upon a Time

The Great British Bake Off vs. The Legend of Vox Machina

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power vs. Gilmore Girls

Animaniacs vs. Pretty Little Liars

Zoboomafoo vs. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

The Umbrella Academy vs. The Muppet Show

WandaVision (A Newlywed Couple/Ep 1) vs. NCIS

Reading Rainbow (1983-1999) vs. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hannah Montana (S1-2) vs. Gilligan's Island

The Mandalorian vs. Dragon Ball Z (Cha-La Head-Cha-La)

What We Do in the Shadows vs. Inspector Gadget

Big Time Rush vs. Barney & Friends

Power Rangers (Mighty Morphin) vs. Young Justice

Futurama vs. Spy × Family

Succession vs. Bluey

iCarly vs. Code Lyoko

Group F

The Magic School Bus vs. Jackie Chan Adventures

Digimon Adventure (Butter-Fly) vs. The Last of Us

Star Trek: The Next Generation (S3-7) vs. Soul Eater

Zoey 101 vs. Xena: Warrior Princess

Dora the Explorer vs. We Bare Bears

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vs. Carmen Sandiego (2019)

Star Trek: Enterprise (S1-2) vs. Mr. Bean

Sailor Moon (Japanese) vs. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (S1-2) vs. Red Dwarf

Death Note vs. Phil of the Future

Yu-Gi-Oh! vs. El Chapulín Colorado

The Flintstones vs. His Dark Materials

Game of Thrones vs. Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

The Nanny vs. Haikyu!!

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends vs. Frasier

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air vs. Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji

Group G

Bill Nye the Science Guy vs. The Facts of Life

George of the Jungle (1967) vs. Veronica Mars

H2O: Just Add Water (S1) vs. Star Trek: Voyager

Star Trek: The Original Series (With Vocal) vs. Hawaii Five-O

Drake & Josh vs. Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman

Puella Magi Madoka Magica vs. Cowboy Bebop (1998)

Lilo & Stitch: The Series vs. Torchwood

The Twilight Zone vs. Wander Over Yonder

Rugrats vs. Columbo

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius vs. The Walking Dead

Hey Arnold! vs. Psych

Twin Peaks vs. Voltron: Legendary Defender

Dragon Tales vs. How I Met Your Mother

Stranger Things vs. Mission: Impossible (1966)

W.I.T.C.H. vs. Daredevil

What's New, Scooby-Doo? vs. Tiny Toon Adventures

Group H

SpongeBob SquarePants vs. X-Men: Evolution

Fraggle Rock vs. Stargate SG-1

Firefly vs. Scrubs

Codename: Kids Next Door vs. Inuyasha (Change the World)

That '70s Show vs. Bear in the Big Blue House

Cheers vs. American Dragon: Jake Long

A Series of Unfortunate Events vs. Black Sails

The Powerpuff Girls vs. Darkwing Duck

That's So Raven vs. Grey's Anatomy

Ben 10 vs. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Cyberchase vs. Reba

Malcolm in the Middle vs. Shake It Up

Teen Titans (2003) vs. Mob Psycho 100

The Owl House vs. I Dream of Jeannie

Assassination Classroom (Question) vs. Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake

Phineas and Ferb vs. Batman Beyond/Batman of the Future

[melverie]

if you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! (sorry if you already got this!)

Sorry it took a bit to answer anon. College and work have been killing me these past few days^^;

01 - I speak five languages (German, French, English, Japanese and Korean) at varying levels of proficiency. I actually had my Korean final yesterday and I'd say it went pretty well 👀 Also I learned Italian for a while, though I only remember some basic phrases, how to say one idiom & how to flirt

02 - Ever since the Sins of Flesh update I've been SO obsessed with Cult of the Lamb again. These past few days the game icon just kept staring into my soul while I was trying my best to stay strong and focus on studying Speaking of being obsessed over games, once the new Professor Layton game releases I'm going to be SO annoying. Those games were my childhood :)

03 - When planning out a story, I have the habit of writing the plot details out on flashcards and putting them up on my walls. I get embarrassed over it whenever someone other than a select group of friends come over though, so when someone else visits I usually end up taking them down only to hang them back up once that person is gone lol

Bonus fact!

This one is probably going to MASSIVELY wrap everyone's view of me, but I feel like half of the more creative school work I submitted ended up being fandom related:

In eighth grade, we were supposed to write a two page long story about a murder case, and I just made it a Professor Layton x Phoenix Wright crossover. I even took one of the cases from Phoenix Wright as the base for my story, and I only barely changed the names, so you could EASILY tell that it was fanfiction

I got my English teacher to watch Assassination Classroom because we had to give a 3 minute presentation on something we liked. That's the same teacher that made one of his tests entirely about Batman btw, he was great <3 I also got my math teacher to watch the anime AND read the manga because I asked him about one math problems from it that I just didn't get. He wrote down the solution and literally programmed a little something to help me better understand how to get there. Another great teacher <3

Had to write a three-word story (you're given three words as prompts and have to built a short story around them), except one of the words was "chinchilla". I ended up writing about a "killer chinchilla" which is just the nickname my sister gave Minccino

I once ended up the state winner in a nation-wide art competition with a Pokémon ORAS-themed watercolor drawing I did (that piece was graded, so I'm counting it toward school work)

We were tasked with drawing a picture inspired by a song. I took My Hero Academia's first ED and made the drawing itself about My Hero Academia as well. Burnt through way too many pencils for this one. They hung it right next to the teachers' room, idk if it's still there tho

That same year we were also tasked with "building a creative trash can", and so I decided to make a little Korok that collects paper waste in a little bag. I also learned how to sew in order to make the bag, so that's cool (pic below!)

I somehow convinced my teacher to let me write my seminar paper on My Hero Academia

In elementary school, my friend group came up with a play set in Animal Crossing, and I ended up writing the entire thing (as in literally writing it so that you could act it out in Animal Crossing itself). That wasn't school work by any means, but regardless, I still very much did print it out just so I could give it to my homeroom teacher, so there's that

Also not school work, but once again in seventh grade I wrote an Animal Crossing New Leaf fanficiton (???) where you could vote what would happen next on the end of every chapter. A good portion of my class read it and I also made my PE teacher read the first chapter

That's by far not all of it but those were the first few things that popped into mind. Anyway, here's the pic of my little Korok paper waste collector!

[phantomstatistician]

Saturday Status Update

REQUESTS: CLOSED

The wait time for a request is: 35 working days

Upcoming charts (if the sample size is large enough):

Homestuck - Sollux

My Hero Academia - All For One (explicit vs non-explicit)

Disco Elysium - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Team Fortress 2 - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Critical Role - 10 most popular platonic ships (AO3)

Only Murders in the Building - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

The Vampire Diaries - Elena Gilbert

Scream - 10 most popular ships (AO3), Tara

Will and Grace - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Human/Pokémon relationship (tag) - rating

The A-team - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Magnus Archives - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Tokyo Mew Mew - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Mega Man X - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Better Call Saul - Saul Goodman/Jimmy Mcgill  

Assassination Classroom - Gakushuu  

Trigun - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

King of Fighters - Iori Yagami  

Found Family tag - 10 most popular ships

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones - Seth

Glee - Quinn, Rachel

Detroit: Become Human - Kara

Doctor Who/Torchwood - Captain Jack Harkness  

Do Revenge - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Wild 359 - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

South Park - 10 most popular ships until 10/27/15 (AO3); 10 most popular ships from 10/28/15 - present

Gumi Megpoid Vocaloid - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

A Certain Magical Index - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Phineas and Ferb - 10 most popular ships (AO3), 10 most popular characters (AO3)

Laverne and Shirley - 10 most popular ships (AO3)

Danganronpa - Kazuichi Souda  

Have a more elaborate request?  Or want to jump the queue?  Or you want to support me as a content creator?  Buy me a Kofi!

[teafaellana]

Hello & Well Met!

My name is Ren, I am queeeeeeeeer, and I’m a little bit chaotic. The reason this first GIF is from Who’s the Boss? is because back when I was 13 years old this was the very first fandom that I joined, and it feels very appropriate to honor that on tumblr dot com.

Shows and such plus more info under the cut. ✌🏻

I’m a mechanic, an artist, a babysitter, a dog-walker, and an all around workaholic. I’ve got ADHD and myself and others suspect I may also be autistic (but that is not yet determined by a professional).

When I have time I love reading short stories, novels, fanfiction, and comics. I am more likely to read things than to watch things, but I have watched more things than usual as of late and I am making more of an effort to do so in order to try to catch up. I also write fanfiction and make fanart and also make original art and hope to someday get back to writing original stories.

Movies

The Parent Trap (1998)

Alien

Aliens

Matilda

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Chocolat

Under the Christmas Tree

Bad Moms Christmas

Christmas Movies just in general tbh!!!!

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again

Smart House

Halloweentown

Hocus Pocus

Ocean’s 8

Baby’s Day Out

Aristocats

Lilo & Stitch

Moana

Tangled

Encanto

Spirited Away

Kiki’s Delivery Service

TV Shows

Who’s the Boss?

Agatha All Along

WandaVision

Only Murders In The Building

The Good Place

Maid

The Worst Witch (2017) (but I want to watch others too!!!!!)

Once Upon a Time

Agent Carter

Wheel of Time

Soy Luna

Dead to Me

Gilmore Girls

Charmed

The Good Witch

Spy x Family

The Owl House

Ms. Marvel

Bingos Stray Dogs

My Hero Academia

Bluey

Probably some other stuff, but this is what comes to mind right now.

Books & Comics & Manga

Thursday Murder Club

Wheel of Time (almost finished w/ book one)

Uncanny X-Men (2024)

Exceptional X-Men (2024)

House of Harkness Infinity Comic

Batman - Santa Claus: Silent Knight (2023)

Dazzler (2024)

Vision (2015-2016)

DramaCon by Svetlana Chmakova

Princess Ai

I Hunt Killers by Barry Lyga

24 girls in 7 days by Alex Bradley

Afternoon of the Elves by Janet Taylor Lisle

That Summer Feeling by Bridget Morrissey

Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon

Sailor Moon

Special Mention: I am currently reading Patricia Wants to Cuddle and I will see how I feel about that when it’s over, I also started reading The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year which is probably going to mean Patricia Wants to Cuddle takes a backseat until I am done with the seasonal reading haha

Truthfully I read a lot so a lot and enjoy a lot of what I read, and this list has to end eventually 😂

Video Games

The Sims 4 (I have been playing since TS1)

Horizon: Zero Dawn

Legend of Zelda: TOTK (one quest left!)

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Various Pokémon installments

Bayonetta (still working through the first game)

Horizon: Forbidden West (not finished)

Neopets (??? Is this even a video game ??? Not really, but I am at a loss for where else to shove it on this list)

Ratchet & Clank

I have a lot of games that I haven’t played through yet, because I have too many fucking hobbies and jobs and not enough time 🙈💀😂😭 One example is that I own BG3 and just … am never home to play on my PC so I haven’t gotten far AT ALL.

Music

This probably shouldn’t even be a category because I am not about to make a list of music I like. That would be even more absurd than making a list of books and shit that I like. I love music so much, I cannot imagine living without it. Genre couldn’t even begin to limit me or my musical interests, and I often listen to music while I draw or walk or paint or work or drive or even read or sleep. It is the backbone of my existence. I scrap along playing piano and guitar, and if I could get my hands on other instruments I would. I played trombone in elementary school briefly, and wouldn’t be mad if I still had access to one to play (alas, I do not). I struggle to read music, but I can play something if I learn it and set it to memory.

[bamfdaddio]

Uncanny X-Men Abridged: 1984

The X-Men, those plot-entangled mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 177 - 188) - by Chris Claremont and John Romita, Jr.; Dan Green, Bob Wiacek, Barry Windsor Smith

Am I the only one who’s pleasantly perplexed that Forge debuted as a sexy Freddy Mercury daddy? Look at those SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men 181)

The Current Status-Quo Checklist:

Xavier: alive, can walk

Jean: dead

Magneto: antagonist, ambiguously evil

In 1984, Claremont narrows the scope of his narratives: the year is littered with one-offs about individual X-Men rather than sweeping storylines about world-ending threats. The plots are still dramatic and devastating, but the stakes are personal rather than for-the-greater-good. In a direction we can only applaud, the male part of the cast largely takes a backseat while we focus on Storm, Kitty and Rogue. (And, to a lesser extent, Mystique and newcomers Rachel and Selene.)

It’s also the year that has one of my favorite issues ever and it kicks off one of the best Storm storylines to date, so yes. Much gush, very praise.

A running thread is the fallout of Rogue’s decision to join the X-Men. First up, we get the response of the family she left behind. While Destiny warns her against this vendetta, Mystique takes Rogue’s rejection about as well as she takes anything else. (If the world hurts you, you hurt back. Do unto others as was done unto you.) Since she believes Xavier mind-whammied her little villain into defecting, she formulates a plan. She practices murdering the X-Men in a simulation for a lark, including Rogue. (But excluding Nightcrawler: she can never bring herself to end him for reasons that are heavily alluded to but never specified. Whatever, mom.) She also rallies her Brotherhood to lure the unsuspecting X-Men into a trap.

They start with Peter, who’s out in Manhattan with Kitty. Pyro fries him hotter than hot (Steel-Pokémon are weak to fire, after all) and then, now that his metal body is weakened, Avalanche drops him into a vat of liquid nitrogen, creating a colossal Peter popsicle.

After telepathically contacting Charles back in Westchester, Kitty runs off to find help for Colossus in the nearby Baxter building. Xavier dispatches the X-Men sans Rogue, fearing an altercation with the Brotherhood might test her loyalties. Unknowingly, he plays right into Mystique’s hands: with the X-Men gone, she and her telepathy-jamming gizmo can sneak into the mansion so she and Xavier can have an intimate tete-a-tete. Here Mystique reveals her approach to dealing with emotional problems. (Or any problems.) (It’s by stabbing.) (Intimately stabbing things until they go away.)

Mystique subdues Xavier, but before she can get in the final argument (and I do mean final), Rogue intervenes and tells her what’s what, proving once again that the movies did us a huge disservice by eliminating the relationship between Rogue and Mystique.

In today’s unanswered questions: is that little skull in Mystique’s hairline a side-effect of her mutation or is it her ~aesthetic~? (Uncanny X-Men 178)

Back in Manhattan, Nightcrawler, Storm and Wolverine quickly dispatch with the Brotherhood. But their problems are far from over: Colossus remains frozen and right by the Baxter building, they discover… Kitty’s corpse?!

Claremont milks that revelation for one cliffhanger, but then Wolverine quickly sniffs out that this isn’t actually Kitty, but someone who’s made to look like her. See, Masque (the mutant of the Morlocks who can meld other people’s flesh but cannot ‘fix’ his own disfigurement) transformed some dead junkie into Kitty and the Morlocks absconded with the real Kitty for another marriage plot.

Weird how a bunch of anarchist sewer-dwellers put so much stock in the institution of marriage, but whatever.

See, the last time when the Morlocks had the X-Men in their grasp, Kitty promised she’d do anything if the simple-minded Morlock named Caliban helped her. Callisto means to hold Kitty to that promise, because last time, Storm stabbed her and stripped her of her leadership of the Morlocks, so she means to make the X-Men suffer.

(There’s definitely a conversation to be had about Storm and the way she takes responsibility of the Morlock (i.e. very little). Why does she keep them in the sewers? Why does she barely visit them? Why do the Morlocks listen to her orders, even if Callisto is still right there? I just hope the narrative at some point will deal with these questions, because right now, it just seems as if the X-Men and Xavier are failing the Morlocks hard.)

When Kitty realizes she has to marry Caliban and she can’t contact the X-Men or save Peter, she tries to flee. It’s all very dramatic, with the wearing a bridal dress among the sewage.

oh leech baby i’m so sorry (Uncanny X-Men 179)

The X-Men always operate on a scale of morality (an x-is of idealism vs. cynicism, if you will). Currently, Wolverine and Storm are scuffing their knees on the gritty end, while Kurt and Piotr tend to inhabit the wide-eyed side. Kitty is still finding her footing on this rocky path, but I like that, in a comic that’s more about gray areas than most superhero fare, there’s still chances for idealism.

Kitty stays. Masque offers to transform her into something ugly to finalize her membership to the Morlocks. The Morlocks are one of the most interesting foils to the X-Men, precisely because of this: the Morlocks are the first proponents of a mutant (counter)culture, the start of a mutant rights movement, a group that just wants to build a safe community – with or without humans. They’re not about integration, they’re about survival.

Callisto calls off Masque and the wedding proceeds, until it is interrupted by the X-Men, who have sniffed out Kitty’s trail. Before things can escalate too much and before Callisto can deploy Leech as her secret weapon, Kitty puts a stop to all of this nonsense. This is her choice. She made her bed, etc.

By sticking to her guns, she even convinces Callisto to let the Morlock aptly called Healer help out with Colossus’ wounds. But first, Rogue has to swallow some more character development (and she’ll damn well like it!)

Rogue: kinda worried bout this, tbh Xavier: just go for it, lol (Uncanny X-Men 179)

This is the third time that Rogue earns her place among the X-Men, but who’s counting?

After Colossus is out of mortal peril, Caliban has a little off-side conversation with Kitty. Being a romantic soul but also a self-actualizing king, he realizes Kitty does not love him – not the way he wants her to. He lets her go. Aw, Caliban.

By the way, we’re ignoring the moment where Xavier realizes Storm is an actual woman (because of her makeover capability for change) and scans her brain for mental illnesses. WtF.

So yes, we’re skating past that skeevy weirdness for a new character, who gets introduced in the squarest, most eighties way possible:

It’s kind of fitting that my soft boi Doug gets about the least badass introduction for any superhero ever. (Uncanny X-Men 180)

The introduction of one (1) Douglas Ramsey serves as a kickstarter in many different plots:

Kitty can confide in him that Storm has changed so much that she fears her;

Piotr gets to be jealous of Douglas because he is everything that Piotr is not (i.e. age-appropriate; smurt);

Douglas can be invited to the Massachusetts Academy, that other special school which is, in fact, run by Emma Frost, villain extraordinaire! (Currently supposed to be in a coma)

Storm gives Kitty a well-deserved dressing down, telling her it’s unfair to expect Storm to be an unchanging constant source of comfort in her life. Ororo deserves to be able to grow and change, despite the mother role Kitty has cast her in. More power to you, Storm! Especially considering your age: in the Marvel Universe, ‘age’ is a nebulous thing but I’m assuming Storm here is supposed to be somewhere in her late twenties, which yeah. People are allowed to change and grow at every age, but when you’re in your twenties, you’re very likely to not be the person you’ll grow up to be.

Speaking of people who really ought to change even though they´re nominally mature, Xavier casually outs Doug while discussing the risks of going to Massachusetts:

“Yeah, that Doug kid is just like us, except he isn’t cool enough to be an X-Man. …What?” (Uncanny X-Men 180)

The best laid plans of mutants and mice, etc. While the plan is sound enough, who would have counted on a hackneyed crisis crossover to whisk the X-Men away for some silly war between good and evil? Yup, the X-Men get wrapped up in the Secret Wars, which I’ll mostly ignore because it’s

stupid;

self-indulgent and unnecessary;

barely figures into the X-Men mythos.

Suffice to say, when Kitty leaves the Massachusetts academy she is ambushed by the White Queen while the X-Men (and the Fantastic Four, the Avengers and Spider-Man) go off-planet for their silly crossover. Kitty has to be saved by the New Mutants in their book.

The X-Men reappear one issue later, even though an indeterminable amount of time has passed both during the Secret Wars and on Earth. The stupid crossover has three effects on the main book, two of which are immediately swept under the rug:

During the Secret Wars, Xavier announced himself leader of the X-Men because of undefined reasons. (Would they have something to do with the fact that Xavier is white and male and Storm is… not? No? Well, carry on then.) Claremont reverses Jim Shooter’s decision within the issue, reinstating Storm. And that’s all the words I’ll waste on that bunch of nonsense.

Piotr fell in love with someone else, making him doubt his love for Kitty.

They accidentally brought a dragon with them into Tokyo, which briefly wreaks havoc.

Really, the only good thing to come out of the Secret Wars is Rogue growing out her hair and more of himbo!Scott:

honeymoon!himbo!Scott best?Scott (Uncanny X-Men 181)

Meanwhile, Gyrich, US government crony, is drafting the Mutant Registration Act.

With the X-Men still recovering from their interplanetary adventure, they send Rogue back to the mansion to get the lay of the land. (After all, who knows what happened in their absence?) Rogue flies from Japan to Westchester and there, like it’s a sitcom in the 90’s, she listens to an answering machine filled with messages! Madelyne calls to say that Scott is missing! (Secret Wars!) Michael Rossi has a vague but distressing call from the S.H.I.E.L.D. Heli-Carrier! (He’s an ex of Carol Danvers and was presumed dead somewhere in the seventies!) Illyana calls to say that Kitty is brainwashed by the White Queen! Except Rogue doesn’t get that message, because she zips out as soon as she hears Michael Rossi is in peril.

If you think it’s weird that Rogue is so concerned with someone she’s never had interaction with, you’re right on the money. The fact that she absorbed Ms. Marvel’s powers and identity is catching up with her: sometimes, Carol’s the one driving this rig. Carol’s the one who breaks into the Heli-Carrier, Carol’s the one who frees (a deeply injured but also deeply confused) Michael Rossi and Carol’s the one who brings him to an apartment they once shared.

Michael tries to make her see some sense, but achieves the opposite effect, confusing both Rogue and Carol.

You hear that? That’s twenty years of tragic touch-someone-too-long-and-they'll-be-a-part-of-you-forever plot lines being mapped out for you, Rogue, which is both a testament to Claremont’s genius and superhero comics’ ever-enduring status-quo. (Uncanny X-Men 182)

When Rossi is finally able to extract what Rogue did to Carol from Car/ogue, he responds in anger, striking Rogue for ‘pretending’ to be Carol. Rogue, tied up in her own mind and utterly miserable, flees the premises, but she does not return to the mansion. You know who did? Kitty! Because she was saved by the New Mutants.

She reunites with the X-Men following their sabbatical in the Beyondiverse, and is promptly dumped by Colossus. He met someone else, he doesn't love her anymore, it’s a tale as old as time. Even if the circumstances of Colossus’ newly found romance were utterly stupid, the fall-out is kind of heart-breaking.

Kwoo, indeed, Lockheed. (Uncanny X-Men 183)

Wolverine takes an uncharacteristic amount of interest in Piotr and Kitty’s semi-break up and decides to… punish Piotr? Or something? They go to a bar, Logan makes Piotr feel even worse for his choice and then, they randomly encounter Juggernaut being a barfly. Predictably, they clash and Colossus loses, which Wolverine summarize as: “fuck u, good for u”.

I have a hard time swallowing that Wolverine would be this obsessed with the break-up of two teenagers, but whatever. Maybe Xavier is rubbing off on him.

Juggernaut and Colossus aren’t the only ones prowling New York that night. In fact, one Selene (spun out from the pages of the New Mutants) is hunting for food. Because Cain Marko evaded her, she drains a few other men here and there, before sensing… power.

Selene’s sensing… a powerful redhead. No, not that redhead, a redhead with telepathic powers. No, not that redhead. It’s a mysterious, hoodlum girl named Rachel! She behaves erratically, looks like a street rat and is on the hunt for the X-Men. (Ineffectively! But still!) A suspiciously friendly guy takes her in from the street and lets her take a bath. But when Rachel’s done with her good soak…

I know Selene is one of the worst villains Claremont has concocted so far, but did she just save Rachel from a sexual predator? (Uncanny X-Men 184)

I love how Claremont adheres to the maxim of “With great power come great drawbacks”. Selene is an absolute powerhouse, but she needs a steady supply of bodies to keep up her strength (and her beauty). Her power level rivals Proteus, who was equally parasitic. He always does this: just compare the Phoenix, whose cosmic powers could not be contained in a physical vessel, and even Storm, whose weather powers require a strong control over her emotions. Claremont knows that a great, terrifying power needs to be balanced, otherwise, all you’ll end up with are boring, bland Supermen.

Anyway, I was never very familiar with Selene (all I remember about her is Necrosha), but I like fucking strong she actually is.

Rachel, equally impressed with the audacity of this bitch, forgoes on inconspicuously and stealthily approaching the X-Men and simply screams in her mind for the Professor’s help. The Professor, to his credit, jumps into the fray with Nightcrawler and Colossus, and they successfully chase off Selene. When pressed for answers, Rachel reveals she’s from The Future before fainting at a dramatically opportune moment.

Oh, soapy X-Men are the best X-Men.

Meanwhile, Mystique, under the guise of government operative Raven Darkholme, drives Valerie Cooper to someone named Forge. He’ll be nothing but trouble. Mystique knows him and is willing to kill him, should he jeopardize shit. Why? Well, as he so casually reveals, he’s made a mutant gene scanner and an (untested, he stresses) gun that can strip someone of their powers. Remember that, it’ll be important later! (The depowering gun introduced in the first act should always be fired in the second) You think that spells bad news for the X-Men? Check back in the next installment for one of the best issues ever!

Best new character: Since neither Selene nor Rachel are technically new characters, I’ll give this to my favorite soft boy Cypher. (He was ace in Inferno.) Best unintentional period piece: Kitty and Douglas were so square, they got kicked out of an arcade. Hehehe. Wife me up: Caliban has designs on Kitty, but he comes around! What to read: While a lot of this year is fun, most of it’s set-up. If you’ve got limited time, read #182 and #185 to #188.

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Gastly Line

I may or may not be afraid of some ghosts.

DESIGN: 

Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar are an interesting design combination of a creature being fully realized. Gastly is just a face, really, while Haunter has something of a proper head and hands, as well as the hints of a body. Gengar is then the full creature, with legs and everything. Meanwhile, Gastly has a very will-o-wisp look for a minor ghost, while Haunter is more actively ghostly. Gengar, meanwhile, is designed to be sort of an animated shadow of a nonspecific Pokemon that’s absolutely Clefable. It’s name, even in Japan, comes from the word Doppleganger, which is a magical being that looks like a copy of a real person. Basically your classic evil twin. 

All three designs are relatively simple, but I also think they get the point across. These things are spooks, and they’re all the same spook gradually getting stronger over time.

The only really weird and confusing thing about the trio is... Haunter is bigger than Gengar.  Forget the tiny Haunter you remember from the anime. 

Thanks, KlavernBoer for taking this picture. Haunter is 5′03″. or 1.6m. Seriously. It’s HUGE. It’s just only in the newer games that you can really tell. The anime’s wrong on other sizes, too, but the Haunter one is extra surprising because you can ride Haunter in Let’s Go.

So, the base three are fine, and then we’ve got two added forms. Mega Gengar, like many Mega evolutions, is just... X-TREME!

I don’t really have anything interesting to say about Mega Gengar. It’s just Gengar but spikier. It has a third eye for some reason... and if anything it feels like it’s devolving back toward Haunter with the forward-leaning pose and the lack of feet. It’s interesting for the Mega Evolution gimmick, but I’m really not feeling the design. You know what design I do feel, though? GIGANTIMAX GENGAR!

At over 65 feet tall, this thing is higher than many buildings, and it clearly just wants to eat everyone and everything into the netherworld that is its mouth.  According to the Pokedex, its mouth leads directly to the afterlife, and if you stand too close you’ll hear your loved one’s voices calling for you to enter. 

Those children are about to get eaten. That’s just what’s going to happen. Maybe they can fight it off, but if not, they’re snacks. I also love how Gigantamax Gengar sinks into the ground, making it even bigger than what we can see. It’s huge. It’s terrifying. I love it. EVOLUTIONS:  Gastly to Haunter at 25 is fine but I’ve already complained about how trade evolutions are kind of out of date and more of a pain than they are fun anymore. Back in they day they were fun, sure, but now it’s just a chore.  Mega Gengar was a bad idea. Many Pokemon needed Megas. Many Pokemon want Megas. Gengar was not one of them.  In fact, Gengar was so good even before getting a Mega that they had to nerf it by changing its special ability from a good one to a bad one, and it’s still an entirely solid Pokemon. Megas very clearly were distributed more on ‘what would be cool’ rather than ‘what Pokemon needs a boost’ and that makes me sad. Because part of the reason Gengar is so cool is that it really doesn’t need the boost.

Gigantamax Gengar is basically a straight upgrade from Gengar. Max Phantasm lowers an opponent’s physical defense, but Gengar’s special attack is literally twice its physical, so there’s no reason to use that. Instead, it gets G-Max Terror, which prevents the opponent from switching out. 

Art by please tell me if you can figure this out I’ve done reverse search and nothings turned up. It seems to be linked to https://theroaringtrainers.com/ but I can’t actually find it there.

TYPING:  Poison/Ghost was a really dumb thing back in Red and Blue. Ghost was the only thing good against Psychic, but there were no Ghost moves worth a damn and the only ghosts were Poison/Ghost, so they were weak to Psychic.  Now that the Psychic bogeyman’s a lot less of an issue, this type combo is a lot stronger. The Gastly line has four weaknesses, two resistances, two double resistances, and two immunities.  Six is a decent array of defensive types, and the fact that Normal, Fighting, Poison, and Bug attacks fall off Gengar like water off a duck’s back really helps.  Offensively, Gengar’s getting super-effective hits on only Ghost, Psychic, Fairy and Grass (two of which are getting super-effective hits right back on Gengar), but almost nothing resists Ghost, and Poison works just fine on most of the Dark and Normal types that do.

Grim Haunter by Dragolisco

STATS: 130 Special Attack, 110 Speed. Oh, you want to know about its other stats? ...Why? It has 130 Special Attack and 110 Speed. It usually goes first, and the other Pokemon often won’t survive. Okay, so, defensively, Gengar’s sub par at 60 HP, 60 Defense, and 75 special defense, but those stats aren’t so low that he’ll simply collapse to most hits. Just build for Special Attack and Speed, and swing for the fences. It’s not complicated. Mega Gengar has bigger numbers all around, with 170 Special Attack and 130 speed, with both defenses raised by 20. Look, if you have 130 speed and 170 special attack it doesn’t really matter what your other stats are. You’re a murder machine. 

Art by TsaoShin 

ABILITIES: Gastly, Haunter, and any Gengar in generations 3, 4, 5, and 6 has the ability Levitate. With a ground weakness and two pre-existing immunities, Levitate makes them particularly hard to stop. Shifting this line’s already defensive typing to include three immunities and four resistances with only three weaknesses is absurdly powerful, and the devs figured that out the hard way. As of generation 7, Gengar has the Cursed Body ability.

Cursed Body... is an ability that exists. It’s has a chance to disable any move that hits Gengar, and while that’s not garbage, Gengar’s relatively fragile body means you’re unlikely to see it trigger in a normal fight, except maybe on an attack you intentionally jumped in front of because Gengar’s resistant anyway and you’d rather they use again instead of switching attacks.  Yes, sometimes it’ll save your life, and sometimes it’ll really mess up someone using a Choice Band, but it’s not really a relevant part of the overall Gengar discussion. Mega Gengar has Shadow Tag which prevents the opponent from switching out.  Shadow Tag is a very powerful ability that makes sure Gengar gets to knock out what Gengar wants to knock out. There is no escape from Mega Gengar.

Pokemon x UNDERTALE: Chara and MegaGengar by Sa-Dui

MOVES:  Gengar is one of those early Pokemon that gets all sorts of moves that it has no reason to have. I have a theory that when TMs were first programmed into Red and Blue, every Pokemon could learn every TM, and then they decided that was silly and cut out the moves that really didn’t make sense... But any Pokemon programmed in after this was instead given TM moves case-by-case. My basic evidence for this is that the Pokemon that can learn Thunderbolt for no apparent reason are mostly Pokémon early in the Internal List.  I haven’t really gone on a deep dive, but this is my theory. Anyway, for attacks, every Gengar takes Shadow Ball.  Gengar gets it on level-up, it’s its best Ghost-type move.  The only bit of competition here is Hex, which requires either Hypnosis or Will-O-Wisp to set up.

Gengar’s other attacks have a lot of options. If you want a Poison move, Sludge Bomb. While Sludge Wave technically does more damage to a single target than Sludge Bomb, the added 20% chance to poison in Sludge Bomb is generally going to wind up being more damage than 5 more power. 

The only things that don’t take full damage from Shadow Ball are Dark and Normal, and while Sludge Bomb can work on them, they share a weakness in Fighting. With fighting ALSO being super-effective against Ice, Rock, and Steel, many Gengar trainers teach it Focus Blast, an absurdly strong albeit highly inaccurate attack.  Further, Gengar has plenty of special attack options like Dark Pulse, Thunderbolt, Psychic, Energy Ball, and Dazzling Gleam if you just want more options at Super-Effective damage.  If there’s a Pokemon you’re particularly worried about, Gengar probably has something it’s weak to.

But what sweeper setup would be complete without Sword Plot or Nasty Dance?  Get a moment to set up and Gengar can double its Special Attack, giving it an easy time tearing through anything that gets in its way.

On the other hand, maybe you’re a bit worried about backlash. With high speed, Substitute can make a good defensive measure and scout what the opponent’s doing.  And aforementioned Will-O-Wisp and Hypnosis can severely impact the opponent’s ability to smash your face in while also turning Hex into a 130 power attack. With Mega Gengar’s Shadow Tag, you can get even tankier. Disable and Taunt can severely inhibit a Pokemon that’s trapped in combat against it, and if you really just want to trade Megas, you can use Destiny Bond because they can’t exactly switch out.   Gengar has a lot of options, and it’s good at them.

Art by Nohbyl

OVERALL:  The Gastly line is great. They look cool, they’re powerful, they’re useful, and there’s actually a bit of a niche for Haunter to be used on its own due to having a different ability than Gengar, not that it’s a particularly good one.  GMax Gengar is great, too, though Mega Gengar is entirely unnecessary.  Gengar with Levitate was good enough before Mega Gengar existed, it’s weird to me that they added the Mega, then nerfed base Gengar. 

Anyway, Gengar’s in a great place, always has been, and I’m sure we’re going to keep seeing it for years to come. It’s also simple enough to easily show up in any region, and popular enough that they’ll never shelve it for long. 

[suzu-kun22]

My Top 10 Favorite Video Games

This is basically gonna be the same as my ranking of the V3 characters. I’m going to list my top 10 favorite video games and then write a small paragraph on why I love them so much. 

Spoilers for the games mentioned.

10. Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire

The characters of Alpha Sapphire are very fun to hang out with and very endearing (since I chose the female protagonist, I found Brendan particularly likable). Plus its endgame content is some of the best of any Pokémon game I’ve played to completion. The Delta episode is just incredibly fun and rewarding to complete, and it ends with a very nice ship moment for my biggest ship in the game. It was nice to revisit a region I love so much with such beautiful graphics and likable characters.

9. Minecraft: Story Mode

I honestly don’t know why I like this game so much. I know it’s dumb and that most of the choices don’t really change the story that much, but I find the characters so endearing and the story so weirdly compelling that I’m willing to ignore most of that and just enjoy the game for what it is. And what it is is a fun ride with really likable characters who actually have well crafted and well-explored dynamics. A lot of it feels like watching a TV show where I have some input, and that isn’t a bad thing.

8. Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Most of the first three games on this list’s appeal chalks up to characters for me. However, THH has the added bonus of an intriguing plot and satisfying twists sprinkled on top. The characters all have standout personalities and designs as well as phenomenally developed dynamics and personal histories. The twists are mostly unexpected, and you can tell that a lot of love went into crafting it, even if the actual art is probably the worst of the series.

7. Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls

The main thing that pulls UDG ahead of THH is the fact that I prefer UDG’s protagonist. Komaru is just more relatable for me and her dynamic with Toko is utterly adorable. I always found that Toko never got enough focus in the main game and this game remedied that with ease. Yuta Asahina was also an added bonus, even if he only lasted about five minutes. The only reason this game isn’t higher is that the 3D graphics can look really awkward some(all)times.

6. Doki Doki Literature Club

The Gakkougurashi of video games. Need I say more? Yes? Even with its fake-out cuteness and actually evil characters, the game still manages to get you to love them and become invested in their fates. Of course, the darker second act of the game wouldn’t work so well without the relationship you build with the characters early on. It also wouldn’t work without the game’s amazing art and unsettling music. A game that is almost perfectly designed on both a technical level and a story-level.

5. Pokémon Black Version

I must admit that this one is mostly here because of nostalgia. It was the first Pokémon game I ever completed (and I think the first video game I ever completed) and thus will always have a special place in my heart. The Gym Leaders are cool and interesting, the Pokémon are cute, and the endgame content is on par with that of Alpha Sapphire (A whole other side of the map to explore and battle through!! That’s pretty awesome!!). There’s even a cameo from my favorite champion (Cynthia my girl!!)! For a 2D Pokémon game, you can’t get much better than this.

4. Pokémon X

This is my favorite Pokémon game. The difficulty level is just right. The characters are fun and vibrant, and the world itself is laid out in a very cool way. The Pokémon themselves are all cool and cute, and the endgame content (while not as good as Alpha Sapphire or Black Version), is pretty cool. Working with Looker to get rid of crime in Lumoise city was really fun, and all the restaurants and other areas that become available once you beat the champion are interesting to explore. A truly well-designed and fun-to-play Pokémon game!

3. Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

This one all comes down to characters. The characters all have even more personality than those in THH or UDG. The twist is much more compelling and surprising and even more meta. The murders are more interesting to solve and appear better planned out (though you can still guess the killer most of the time, but there were a few times where the killer legitimately caught me off guard). Chapter 5 on its own was better than the entirety of THH, even if the reveal of the mastermind wasn’t nearly as satisfying because we all knew who it was from the start. However, the Izuru Kamukura and Ultimate Impostor twists were easily enough to make up for that. Just a well-made, well-written, clever game all around. Loved it to death.

2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Link.

Okay obviously that’s not enough.

Breath of the Wild strikes a perfect balance between being challenging enough to be rewarding to complete, but not so much that it’s impossible to figure out how to do it. Games like Borderlands, while very fun to play, often miss this crucial balance for me. While those games may be fun to play and very rewarding if you actually manage to complete them, they are so challenging that actually completing them is often not worth the rage, pain, and time I know it will take. Breath of the Wild hits this balance perfectly with a difficulty curve that doesn’t actually exist, but really feels like it does just from how the game goes about getting better gear into your hands. The characters are slightly lacking (Sidon and even Link are well-characterized), but that’s part of the point. The game creates a beautiful feeling of melancholy in the player, which I’ve talked about in more depth in a short analysis I wrote on the emotional impact of the game.

1. New Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

I think the characters pull this one ahead (no surprise). The characters in this game certainly act the most human of any character in any Danganronpa game. They cry when something happens to their friends, they get angry when someone insults them or betrays them, and they’re suspicious of pretty much everyone. Pretty much all of them are completely fleshed out and interesting to watch. The twists are fun and unexpected (even if there are hints towards them early into the game), and there’s even more to do than ever before, with events between trials that aren’t only about getting the characters into a location to find a body. Chapter 5 is yet again the best chapter with the most entertaining and compelling trial in the entire series, culminating in one of the most effectively emotional executions in the entire series (the first one of this game may have this one beat, I’m still not sure). Kokichi Oma specifically is probably one of the most interesting characters in a series filled to the brim with interesting and unique characters and I legitimately missed him once his role in the game was over. This game has so many layers beneath its surface that one could probably spend all day collecting hints to determine if the ending was real or not. The cases of this game are also a lot more complex, with one trial that even goes for THREE HOURS BEFORE THE KILLER IS FOUND OUT!! This is when the focus really shifted from ‘okay we gotta figure out who could have done this’ to ‘okay we have to figure out HOW the killer did this and then figure out who in our group is capable of both coming up with a plan like that and carrying it out without getting caught.’ And the killers themselves are never characters you would expect to kill someone (chapter five is sort of an exception but meh). All of this, plus the detailed art of the characters and environments, (and excellent voice acting if I do say so myself), make this my favorite game that I have ever played to completion.

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 5 - they finally swapped us - Austin

I’m taking more of a leadership role on this tribe, trying to make more calls with the challenge. On a smaller tribe it is less risky to do that, and also more risky to go to tribal if people find a reason to target you its easy to get numbers. Dylan especially is a worry for me, in the past he has turned on me for absolutely no reason, so idk how much I can trust him. Dan seems ok, he gave us good intel about the other tribe. Still makes sense to vote him out if we go to tribal though lets not make enemies out of the og tribe just to save one guy.

Tribe swap. Honestly I’m not freakin out abt it bc I’ve got Stephen & Austin who’ve both been pretty good in challenges so. Hopefully I can Michelle my way to the merge Even seems chill he’s just got a russel hantz profile picture which is a lil susp Although I’ll admit I’m a lil sad this is a cooperative challenge bc I really don’t work well cooperatively. Especially when these people are choosing words like CAT and WASHINGTON DC have y’all never played scattergories the object is to get the most random ass answers. We can’t put Unagi that’s way too common, we gotta put UNI, which means sea urchin & is a delicacy. If someone else puts uni I would literally cry I’d be such a clown Xiomara? BITXH have y’all seen Jane the Virgin? Hell no!! We putting Serena spelled with an X. She’s a character in a short story I wrote it’s a real name look it up. Sorry to rant I just can’t believe one of these boys chose Cat. Cat. R u joking

So after 4 straight wins from my tribe they finally swapped us. Dylan, me, eric,and stephen from my og tribe long with dan from the other tribe. I like it and think we are gonna do well together.  Dan told me sunshine said I was trustworthy which I appreciated.  I dont wanna lose any challenges but if we do I feel maybe i should try and save dan? Idk i wanna be a lil more risky then i usually play in other games. Just gotta see what happens but idc to flip for my own game to do better.  

LOCK & MANCALA. LOCK & MANCALA mancala is like the most famous board game WHY did we choose that I said to go with Master Trainer: Pokémon why was that not CHOSEN I hope we lose so I can get voted out & be remembered as this seasons biggest bitch

My tummy is saying Fuck rn. I don't know how this tie breaker is gonna go

So what I am thinking it is going to be like is between Keegan and Coco but like Coco is my number 1 out here rn. Glo says she will protect me and Im trying to see what chips is feeling but I feel even when he says things Im like is this legit? Keegan wants to try working with me. I have to weigh my options but if I vote people from OG Musquodoboit tribe I upset everyone else there, if I vote Keegan, Who knows where on the totem pole I can be with the OG tribe.

It has been brought to my attention that the person I’ve been referring to as ‘even’ is actually dan. ukmmmmmmmmmmm okcay also MICHELLE let’s keep this Queen energy to the merge 😈😈

I think I’m cursed. This will be the fifth tribal council in a row I’m attending. Like how does this even happen? And of course I had to be dumb enough to step up and do the tie breaker which sent us to tribal. At first glance this could very well be the end of my game. Getting swap fucked is becoming a personality trait of mine at this point. However, Heather and I have been messaging and she said she’s going to talk to Chips and see about making a move to keep me in the game. I’m not sure who we’d vote out between Coco and Gloria but honestly I don’t care as long as I stay in the game.

Hosts, Admins and VL. I made a chart that went like 6 layers deep in before it would deadend and I’m like “oh okay it must be at the 6 layer mark”. Nope I got down to 8 layers (T1 was the first) and I feel like it’s either claimed or it’s down that path. In other news, my two biggest obstacles is the OG other tribe -_- me forgetting the other tribe’s name. The second obstacle is Kyle. Kyle thinks he runs the joint and I just play a “Sheeple” game when in reality I’m trying to make small moves to further myself in the game. Kyle and Livingston are close and Kyle, myself and Darcy are tight. Sunshine is the odd one out and a easy boot.

Update since recording, I think Chips is leaning more towards keeping Keegan oof im a swing vote then oof

Maybe I’m just getting massively played right now but I currently have an alliance chat with Heather and Chips and we’re deciding on voting Coco or Glo. And I have Coco asking me if I’d vote for Glo. Maybe I’m being bamboozled but this is actually looking a little bit promising for me staying in the game right now. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. The last time that did I got annihilated.

Did I just suggest a Chips blindside? I- don't know. I am AHHHH. I am in a bad position next round that's FOR SURE

So unfortunately we are going to tribal. At first I thought Keegan would be an easy vote BUT Chips started playing dirty. He made a chat with Heather&Keegan and tried to form "majority" with them. They were discussing whether to eliminate me or Glo. I'm not having it. Heather and I came up with the plan to blindside Chips because he probably wouldn't see it coming. I kept telling Chips I was SO worried,SO nervous because none is talking to me but it's just all an act. Hopefully we can get rid of either Chips or Keegan tonight and even flush an idol if they use it on Keegan.

So ummm, Operation Chips Gone is under way. I am HELLA nervous! Idk if this is gonna work but I feel HELLA bad.

ok Chips has turned on me saying I am weak link on tribe and wants me voted out with Keegan staying safe, Heather and CoCO are in alliance with me and tipped me off. So our vote is CHIPS. but we all three fear the idol situation. So I may not survive but calling me weak link who beat Chips ass in Scavenger hunt and came from behind to do so lol yeppers Glo beat Chips. Anyways it might be good bye GLO GLO tonight and if so I did my best. That would be end for me I guess. <3 GLO <3

I think if we were on larger tribes and the challenge was different I might have thrown it. Bit as it is tribal only presents three options: a) vote out dan, which is not a big move or anything and is not going to change much. b) save dan, and vote out someone from my og tribe, which would piss off 8 other people I had ground work with, and c) Dan pulls something out of his ass and survives, voting one of us out. So yeah, no good scenarios for my long term game at tribal. However without it I can keep my relationships while also building new bridges with Dan that could help come merge and further.

If Glo is truly the vote tonight, I’m probably going to cry. Not even going to sugar coat it. I’ll be crying. She’s just so pure and so nice and just this incredible person. I’m trying to not let it sway my judgement too much. I’m tearing up just thinking about her leaving. But if Heather and Chips are being honest with me and not conspiring against me they’ve both said they’d vote for Glo. And all I need to do right now is stay in the game. Against all odds, I might just manage to stay in the game in a disasterous 4v1 swap. The biggest downside after this is getting Evan(?) back from Oak Island. I’m praying he’s not close with Heather and Chips or I might not survive another tribal.

So we got swapped onto a tribe of 5... and lost the first immunity challenge on that tribe. Keegan is the obvious vote since he got swapped onto our tribe. I'd rather not. Spent all day lying to Glo telling her I was going to vote him. If for some reason that's not the case and Glo doesn't go, cool. I got gamed. Also, I'm in an alliance chat with Heather and Keegan and lowkey I love it. I want to see this be a final 3 but I'm not going to get ahead of myself.

Conspiracy theory: coco, glo & Keegan voted out chips, heather on the outs. No fucking clue why but it’s the only thing that makes sense. This whole game is so scary I’m like watching blindsides & murdering happening & im just chillin on the sidelines

KEEGAN SURVIVED! I’m so happy for him! That’s all I wanted. Hopefully Keegan and Dan can make merge. I wanna throw the F14 immunity to send home Sunshine but that’s just a thought. I always said my two biggest obstacles were the OG other tribe and Kyle. That’s still true but maybe there’s hope for the first obstacle!

Oh damn, I didn’t see that coming. There are two possible situations here: 1) That Keegan managed to pull two votes in with promises and shit, and 2) That there was a pre-existing alliance against Chips (and others) that I wasn’t aware of. This is worrying, not only did I just lose someone I wanted to work with but it shows I’m not that aware of what’s going on. Not good.

I watched the tribal council. Keegan wasn’t even on the chopping block which is great. Glo seems like a lovely lady and seems easy to bond and manipulate. Great for me 🐍. Our alliance including Dan, with Keegan and his allies can make a strong group and potential majority. I feel like at merge I can play my cards right and secret pull strings.

Chips was voted out which is honestly a big surprise to me but at least I’m still here! Who survived a 4v1 Swap Fucking? This guy!

[knightofbalance-13]

Actually...

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/165589953048/lets-be-real-and-agree-on-something

No we are not agreeing to this.

RVVBY is an amalgam of multiple tropes, cliches, and concepts from other media that did it much better.

As we will soon see: The examples are either way too general, RWBY does too differently for a comparison or RWBY actually does it BETTER.

Faunus as a stand-in for minorities. X-Men did it first, did it better, and has better justification for it. Some mutants are dangerous, and have abilities that could level a building with little effort. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are just a separate branch of mutants that humans use to justify their discrimination, and sentinels are extermination bots. There’s literally “Mutant Camps” In the Days of Future Past movie that are analogous to concentration camps. Whilst being a mutant has since evolved into an analogy for being part of the LGBT+ community, it started as an allegory for racism. And it was much MUCH better at it. Last I checked, Inhumans are now the new racism allegory, and even then, they’re still a better analogy than faunus. The reason why both of these are all more effective is because they don’t replace all racial minorities by being their stand-in. There are African Mutant (Storm), Native American Mutants (Moonstar), and even biracial Mutants (Darwin). So, Mutants are a multi-cultural fictional race that acts as a stand-in for a minority group in the Marvel Universe. See, this is what happens when you have good writers who are open to criticism.

Except the racism is UNDERSTANDABLE in X-Men since mutants ARE more dangerous than humans and some of the (like Rogue) can’t control their powers and thus are a danger no matter how you slice it whereas the Fanaus aren’t any dangerous than humans because they don’t significant enough advantages to overcome the human dominance so it’s just like racism here in our world: Stupid and irrational. So you’re basically saying it’s more rational to hate an innocent group of animal people that people who can control the weather, kill on touch or mindfuck everyone. COngrats, you have shown you have a bias against RWBY so your opinions mean jack shit.

Final Fantasy did the idea of dust better. It was called Materia, and it had a better explanation as to how it’s applied. Much like dust, it’s mined. Unlike dust, it’s explicitly stated to be magical in nature rather than the vague explanation we got for dust. dust is also weird in the sense that it’s kinda elemental. Materia also has a simpler categorization by just giving it five subcategories. Dust has to be classified under fire, ice, gravity, electric, stone, whatever Yang’s standard buckshots are, and so much more. It’s starting to get to the point that I wouldn’t be surprised if they started to be more direct in their rip-off and make Summon Dust. And it’s hard to even argue this because Monty Oum (God Rest His Soul) is a Final Fantasy fanboy (See: Dead Fantasy), so there’s no doubt that there would be some FF references every now and then. But the idea of Dust is too similar to be a coincidence. Even the claim of how similar the show is to Advent Children is rather hard to see any other way. Advent Children had very little plot to it, but had spectacular action scenes - sound familiar?

Yeah, of course it’s a rip off here! ...And in Storm Hawks...and Kingdom Hearts...And Pokémon-

Almost like this is a COMMON TROPE. Can’t really call it a rip off when everyone is doing it. Almost like you don’t know how tropes work.  Also, you don’t mention how Final Fantasy does it better: you just say they do. Probably because FInal Fanatsy=Not RWBy ergo better.

Legend of Korra did the whole “Girl Power” thing better. Considering that they also managed to portray PTSD in a much more realistic way, and didn’t romanticize it like RVVBY did. Korra had hallucinations, was clearly sleep-deprived, and struggled to keep up with even a few non-benders because of the trauma. Sure, LoK had its own issues (Like trying to keep up with its predecessor), but it still managed to hold its own. What does RVVBY do? - only ONE on-screen nightmare, and only ONE on-screen panic attack. The worst part is that we didn’t even NEED it to be on-screen. Just show Yang not wanting to sleep, or her waking up from nightmares. Even offhandedly mentioning that she’s having nightmares would have been better than nothing. But we get that nothing. Because making Yang get back to doing badass fighting moves is more important than giving her a good recovery arc.

OH Ho ho ho ho!

This is a fucking GOLD MINE!

A. RWBY was never touted as a Girl Power show: It just had female protagonists. Men were just as capable as women and it was clear from the first episode so this comparison doesn’t even count.

B. Oh korra. The one with a protagonist who was one trait away from being a full blown Mary Sue who disobeyed orders, stole food, caused property damaged, nearly committed murder, committed police assault and resisting arrest who gets off t6eh hook and is treated as in the right for doing all that. And that’s just the first episode, shall I go on to explain how Korra essentially harassed a guy and acting like an obsessive stalker despite him saying that he has a girlfriend and then kisses him despite this, hurting his innocent brother and gets rewarded for it, or how Korra barely practices Air bending (the ONE element she doesn’t aut know) but can magically airbend without using airbending techniques and having her bending TAKEN AWAY. Or how about Korra flipping outa t Mako, May Lin trying to arrest Tenzien’s wife and wrecking Airbending Island for getting dumped and that one Psycho girlfriend Waterbender is all treated as humerous and okay? Or that Asami was just basically eye candy in the first and second seasons? Or how the one main female villain seen as redeemable is the one who refused orders, forcibly recruited people, took advantage of the spirits, tried to kill her fiancé, sent people who didn’t agree with her to “reprogramming” camps, threatens the lives of her subordinates and tried to kill an entire city. It wasn't Amon who was implied to have severe hatred against benders due to his dad’s abuse. It couldn’t even be the fucking Red Lotus, the most human villians in the Avatar franchise since ZUKO: It was the female earthbender whose actions numerous times mirrored fucking Hitler.

Bottom Line: Even without TRYING to be a Girl Power show, RWBY is a BETTER Girl Power show than Korra.

C. The PTSD arc is the ONE thing Korra has above RWBY and it SHOULD be better because Korra has more time, more experience, more money, more people and in a medium that is more forgiving than RWBY’s. And even then, it’s BARELY better in terms of actual writing because it tries portraying Korra’s PTSD as an outside force, uses her Avatar State self as the representation when it makes no sense, she gets over it by herself despite her lesson being not to lock other people out, it came back with no indication, uses Zaheer out of nowhere and brings up smaller events that never eluded to extend the arc. It could have been fixed so easily by just having an imaginary Zaheer attacking her with kora being hesitant of airbending. I fucking fixed and I’m an inexperienced fanfic writer. All RWBY needs to do to be better is acknowledge it again: Something VERY likely due to RT’s history.

So far: We have one example that is out right wrong, one example that is too broad to do anything and doesn’t show jack shit and one example that is so wrong it helps ME absolutely.

SO what’s next?

And since it probably wouldn’t be me if I didn’t include this, here’s the one that some people are probably waiting for:

So you’re outright acknowledging bias against RWBY and for Storm Hawks because Nostalgia huh? Fine, I’ll cut you down HERE too.

Storm Hawks did the small amount of habitable land that needs to be protected by various teams of heroes first and better. Energy attacks have better justification for their appearance, and the fact that both Crystals and Dust are both gemstones with elemental properties that need to be mined and are integral to powering weapons and vehicles. Both shows have amazing transforming weapons, teams made up of various people with different skills, and incredible action scenes. They even had a spectacular superpower that manifested in one of their main characters after they were put in a tough situation. See my chart below for more detail.

Sky Knights : Huntsmen/Huntresses

Crystals : Dust

Squadrons : Huntsman Teams.

Atmos : Remnant

Talons/Raptors/Murk Raiders/Beasts : Grimm/WF

The Binding : Silver Eyes

... (points to the Final Fantasy point above)

So it’s perfectly okay for Storm Hawks to “rip off” Final Fanatsy but RWBY is bad for doing it?

Because these are all elements from Final Fantasy.

Not to mention since you DON’T explain why Storm Hawks does it better, all I have to do is point to the fact that Storm Hawks is canceled early and RWBY is a worldwide phenomon. Storm Hawks is at 7.2  whereas RWBY is at 8.3 , Storm Hawks had more time, more experience, more money, more people and the backing of Cartoon Network where RWBY doesn’t.

Dudeblade, this is why you go unnoticed by the writers, why all of you in RWDE tag go unnoticed: you do ANYTHING to tear down the show, whether or not it’s true. That and you suck so bad, I can do a better job than you.

Here, let me:

Harry Potter does the “school for special people” better because the school stays in focus for most of the show where we grow more and more attached to the setting and characters there and since the enemy is gradually shown more and more: he gain slightly more and more fear in a very smooth and natural way. And since the books take time with the enemies, we can keep track of the numerous characters easily. All unlike RWBy

Kill La Kill does the Girl Power aspect of the show better as the main cast is female, the show is driven by females and each character has their own unique set of strengths and weakness along with flaws they must overcome and deal with. It also tackles the idea of women being objectified and encourages women to take pride in who and what they are, ignoring how society sees them and think ofr themselves. Again, unlike RWBY would be.

Dragon Ball does the “Writing by the seat of your pants” style better than RWBY because Akira Toriyama was used to writing tis way and thus had more experience and even had a talent for writing this way which also made the series more suspenseful. Once more, unlike the CRWBY.

When I can do your job better and in less time: Might want to rethink what you are doing.

[screenandcinema]

Coming Attractions - May 2019

Five years ago today, here on the S&C, we presented for the first time a list of the movies what would be hitting your local cinemas that month. That initial list included The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Chef, Godzilla, and X-Men: Days of Future Past. Every month since then over the course of five years we have done the same rundown of movies coming soon and you have been there to read them all along the way. Thank you for that. We thought this was a special day to reflect on in the history of the S&C.

With that said, here are what movies are coming out this month:

May 3rd

Long Shot - Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron star as an odd-couple in this upcoming comedy, him an unemployed journalist and her a candidate for President of the United States. Long Shot premiered to great reviews at South by Southwest in March and I for one can’t wait to see it.

UglyDolls - Quick! Is UglyDolls an original film or one based on existing IP? Do you know the answer? I don’t. (Well I do now, cause I looked it up, but I didn’t know when I asked it.)

The Intruder - Meagan Good and Michael Ealy star in this thriller as a couple who buys a house from Dennis Quaid’s character, and he refuses to let go off his long-term home. The film hails from the same screenwriter as 2009′s Obsessed and 2008′s Lakeview Terrance, so audiences should know what they are getting into with The Intruder.

Extremely Wicked, Shocking Evil and Vile - If you are keeping score at home, it is now Ted Bundy: 1, Oxford Comma: 0. Zac Efron stars as the notorious serial killer in this new film coming to Netflix this month. Reviews of the film have been fairly solid since its premiere at Sundance earlier this year. 

May 10th

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu - Though I have never been a fan of Pokémon in the least, Detective Pikachu looks to me like the film I wanted The Happytime Murders to be, a noir-ish fantasy mystery made in the same vein of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. And while I have no interest in the film, I do have an 8-year nephew who does.

The Hustle - Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson take the lead in this comedy film that is a remake of 1988′s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels starring Steve Martin and Michael Caine, which is itself a remake of 1964′s Bedtime Story starring Marlon Brando and David Niven. Still one remake shy of a full A Star is Born.

Poms - In this comedy, Diane Keaton starts a cheerleading squad at her retirement community and her friends played by Jacki Weaver, Pam Grier, and Rhea Perlman, join up!

Tolkien - Nicholas Hoult is J.R.R. Tolkien in this biography of the famous author. Like similar more recent works Finding Neverland, Goodbye Christopher Robin, Becoming Jane, and half of Saving Mr. Banks, audiences will surely seeing Tolkien’s future works come alive in his life experiences through his time as school and World War I.

May 17th

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum - John Wick is back for installment number 3. The John Wick film series has been a surprising revelation and it is always good to see Keanu Reeves back on the big screen. Prepare for war.

A Dog’s Journey - This is a sequel to 2017′s A Dog’s Purpose. Did you see that one? Oh, you didn’t. Then my job is done.

The Sun is Also A Star - It is a race against time for two young students hoping to fall in love before one of them is forced to leave with her family forever. My prediction? She is an alien.

May 24th

Aladdin - Disney’s 1992 beloved animated classic is back with a live action version directed by Guy Ritchie and starring Will Smith as the Genie. As a kid, I remember seeing Aladdin in theaters five times and it was a personal favorite. Unlike some of the recent and forthcoming Disney remakes, Aladdin doesn’t appear to be a scene-for-scene rehash of the original, which is extremely refreshing.

Brightburn - James Gunn produces this superhero horror film written by his cousins Mark and Brian Gunn. “Superhero horror” might be the best genre name imaginable. Essentially, Brightburn is a twist on the familiar Superman story - what if a child gave from space with amazing abilities and instead of trying to save us all, he tried to kill us all. Count me in!

Booksmart - Olivia Wilde makes her feature film directorial debut with the coming-of-age comedy in Booksmart. In the film, two smart good girls try to make four years worth bad dumb decisions over the course of the night before high school graduation. The film premiered at South by Southwest in March to fantastic reviews.

May 31st

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - On the surface, it is hard to tell how much of King of the Monsters is a sequel to 2014′s Godzilla and how much of it is set-up for 2020′s Godzilla vs. Kong as Legendary Entertainment continues to build their MonsterVerse. As much as I enjoyed Godzilla and 2017′s Kong: Skull Island, nothing about King of the Monsters is really exciting me at this point, which in itself is disappointing.

Rocketman - The music biopic craze continues with Rocketman starring Taron Egerton as Elton John. The film is directed by Dexter Fletcher, who you may or may not know as the guy who came in and finished directing Bohemian Rhapsody after Brian Singer was fired. Rocketman looks to be everything Bohemian Rhapsody wasn’t, including an actor who sings throughout the movie and a historically accurate portrayal of the musician's life and times. Fans of music who were disappointed by Bohemian Rhapsody should be eager to take a ride with Rocketman.

Ma - Octavia Spencer stars a lonely woman who befriends a group of mischievous teenagers only to viciously turn on them in this upcoming thriller from Blumhouse. Watch this one with the lights on.

Now for a quick look ahead to June, my top picks for next month are Dark Phoenix, Men in Black: International, and Toy Story 4.

-MB-

[sage-nebula]

T, W, and X for the ship meme? :D

T --- Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Answered here!

W --- A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Oh god, I feel like there are a lot . . . but the first one that comes to mind is probably the Toxic Rivals / Enemies to Lovers trope, because god, I can’t think of a single time when I’ve actually enjoyed that in recent years.

This one crops up a lot, in a lot of different forms, and it’s present both in canon as well as fandom works. We see it in the people who ship Naruto and Sasuke in Naruto, but we see it also in the relationship between Wyldstyle and Emmet in The Lego Movie, even though they’re never properly rivals (or enemies). But it doesn’t matter that they’re not properly rivals or enemies, because it’s not the fact that they’re rivals / enemies that I have a problem with. No, what I have a problem with is that the relationships are toxic; they’re negative, filled with actual heated arguing and (such as in the case of Wyldstyle and Emmet) objectification, and yet they’re romanticized and treated as if these are #relationshipgoals or ideals.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s perfectly fine to be interested in unhealthy relationships in fiction. I myself have some foetps that I like examining. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. What I’m talking about here is that we see, for instance, that Naruto is completely obsessed with Sasuke; we see him say that he’ll “break every bone in Sasuke’s body and drag him back to Konoha,” and that’s treated by some people as being not only okay, but romantic. What I’m talking about is the fact that Sasuke says that Naruto is the last bond he has to break, and so he wants to murder him, and people again see this as a sign of True Love™ because Naruto is the only bond Sasuke feels he has left. While it’s true that, at that point, Naruto is the only person Sasuke still cares about in a sense, that’s not a good thing at the moment. This isn’t a healthy relationship. It’s full of vitriol and obsession. It’s not healthy, it’s not romantic, and it’s certainly not an ideal. And if people recognized that, that would be great, but what I see instead is a lot of romanticization and fawning. What I see instead is that, when Sasuke insults and disparages Naruto, people take that as a form of endearment, when it isn’t. What I see instead is that when Sasuke says “leave me the fuck alone” and Naruto says “no,” people take that as a sign of how much Naruto ~loves~ Sasuke, when the truth of the matter is that if Naruto honestly loved Sasuke, then the healthy and respectable thing to do would be to let him go, rather than continuing to stalk, harass, and abuse him.

And this is but one example. Time and again, in both canon and fanon things, I see constant fighting (not playful bickering, but out and out fighting), harassment, and in some cases stalking and abuse romanticized. People call this “belligerent sexual tension,” because it can’t be that two characters are just genuinely incompatible and don’t like each other. No, clearly they’re fighting and insulting each other because they love each other. Meanwhile, healthy, supportive relationships are dismissed wholesale as either being “boring” or “purely platonic” regardless of what other factors go into that relationship. I’m not saying that platonic relationships don’t exist too (of course they do), but I am saying that there’s a serious problem with reading negative interactions as being “sexy and True Love™” and reading positive interactions as “boring and platonic,” and that bugs me to no end.

(Oh, and as far as Wyldstyle and Emmet go---honestly, that relationship ruined The Lego Movie for me. I left the theater hating that movie because of how bad that relationship was. Not only was she far more qualified to be the hero than he was every step of the way, but he constantly objectified her, to the point where he couldn’t even hear what she was saying because he was too busy drooling. She’s then damseled purely so he can save her and she can swoon into his arms. Disgusting. The fact that he showed absolutely zero respect for her, yet still won her like a trophy, disgusted me, and falls straight into the same “belligerent sexual tension = True Love” nonsense I’m bitching about here.)

There are examples of rivalries that are healthy, of course. Rin and Suguro from Blue Exorcist are a perfect example of this. They’re rivals, yes, but they also support and build each other up. Even though they bicker sometimes, their arguments don’t come from a place of true aggravation or dislike. They’re equals. They’re friends, on top of being rivals. Drew and May from Pokémon are another example of this. Yes, they’re rivals, but they have a healthy, friendly rivalry. If they ended up entering into a romantic relationship later, it would be fine.

But by and large I see toxic rivalries (or straight up hateships) romanticized, and it bothers me to no end. And again, it’s not just fandom; if one character is a woman and the other is a man, there’s a high probability canon will hook them up. It’s awful and I’m really not here for it.

X --- A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Conversely, BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS!!!

I’m here all day, every day for healthy, supportive, loving relationships, and in my view best friends to lovers is the epitome of that. In my personal opinion, the best romantic relationships have a solid foundation of best friendship. The person you spend the rest of your life with should be your best friend, so why not have it start out that way from the get-go? I’ve honestly been wondering lately if I, personally, am more demiromantic than biromantic, simply because I seem to only really start considering a romantic relationship with someone if I’ve known them for a while. (Then again, I fell very hard and fast for the first person I was ever in love with . . . romance is complicated.) But regardless of my own orientation, best friends to lovers is the epitome of my shipping tastes. If you give me two best friends in a piece of media, there’s a high probability I’m going to end up shipping them. It’s absolutely my fave.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 3rd March 2019

This is a surprisingly chill week for after the BRIT Awards (which I commented on in real time on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you want to check that out), but there is some movement related to the ceremony so let’s just get through this.

Top 10

We have a new #1 this week, that’s right, for its first week ever, some lame Lewis Capaldi song I heard once called “Someone You Loved” is up two spots to the top spot on the UK Top 40... you can tell the charts are pretty dry right now but honestly I can’t complain that much, it’s less work for me every week. This is obviously Capaldi’s first #1, as he’s a new artist.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man is also up two spots to number-two, thanks to a BRITs performance with Sam Smith and Dua Lipa.

This means that Ariana Grande had a few fallers this week, “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” being first, down a spot to number-three.

I’m surprised “7 rings”, also by Ariana Grande, is only down three spots to number-four.

“Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel is still steady at number-five.

Sam Smith and Normani’s “Dancing with a Stranger” is also staying still at number-six.

“Options” by NSG featuring Tion Wayne is up two positions to number-seven. That’s cool, it’s a good song, I guess.

“Walk Me Home” by P!nk is our sole new arrival in the top 10, debuting at number-eight this week after its live premiere at the BRITs with Dan from Bastille (Because, sure, why not?) and becoming P!nk’s 43rd Top 40 hit and 21st Top 10 hit. Those numbers are crazy, and she definitely deserves to have won the Outstanding Contribution to British Music Award as well as a place on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, even if for personality alone. We’ll talk more about the song later.

Oh, and “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish down a space to number-nine.

Finally, thanks to the album and BRITs win, “Just You and I” by Tom Walker is up nine spaces to #10. Blech.

Climbers

Thanks to the massive hype behind Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper due to the Oscars performance, the current US #1 has also increased greatly, up 10 spaces to #11 this week and potentially gaining more next week and re-entering the Top 10. Otherwise, “Talk” by Khalid with Disclosure is up seven spaces to #13, “Thotiana” by Blueface rides the meme and remix wave up eight spots to #15 (His first top 20), “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan has a five-space increase to #17, entering the top 20, becoming LAUV’s first and Troye Sivan’s second top 20 hit in the UK. Thanks to the video, as I predicted, “MIDDLE CHILD” by J. Cole rebounds seven spaces up to #21, with “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi also up six spots to #24.

Fallers

Thanks to streaming cuts (In the UK, after a certain amount of weeks in the top 20 or so its streaming becomes less important to its chart placement), well, it’s safe to assume it’s due to streaming cuts because these were massive, long-running songs, Post Malone’s “Wow.” is down seven to #14, “Play” by Jax Jones and Years & Years is down seven to #22, as is “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings to #25. “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus also suffers from streaming cuts, down 10 to #27, taking that bloody “Baby Shark” song with it down nine to #34. Otherwise, we have “Please Me” by Cardi B and Bruno Mars down eight to #20 despite a video being released very recently, and “Hello My Love” by Westlife is down eight to #32, yet still not quickly enough.

Dropouts

Since the album hype died down, “needy” by Ariana Grande is out from #11, “Swan Song” by Dua Lipa is out from #32 (Didn’t expect it to last that long anyway) and “Gun Lean” by Russ is out from #33 due to streaming cuts (Hip-hop thrives on streaming). Also, “Psych Out!” by AJ Tracey is out from #34, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #34, “365” by Zedd and Katy Perry is out from #37 (Oof), “Without Me” by Halsey is finally out from #37 and “a lot” by 21 Savage featuring uncredited vocals from J. Cole is out from #40 thanks to 21 Savage actually being freed, I guess?

Returning Entries

We have more than usual this week. Let’s start with the BRITs returns. First, due to a Calvin Harris mash-up performance featuring Dua Lipa and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man, “Promises” with Sam Smith is back at #37. I’d say “One Kiss” can’t enter because three Calvin songs are on the chart, but that’s untrue, so I guess that it just didn’t enter the top 40 – it is outside of it but I’m surprised it’s not up here, especially since it won an award. Also thanks to a performance featuring a guest verse from H.E.R., “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is back at #35. Otherwise, thanks to “needy” leaving, Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” returns to its rightful place on the chart, at #30, where it should have been last week really, but dumb UK chart rules and all that. “High Hopes” by Panic! at the Disco is back at #39, because, I mean, sure, and “Nights Like This” by Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign is back at #33. I wonder if he gets any of the royalties while he’s serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession.

FEATURED SINGLE

“Faucet Failure” – Ski Mask the Slump God

Produced by ChaseTheMoney & Cubeatz - Currently charting at #100 on the Hot 100

Before we get to the new arrivals, let’s talk about a fun, goofy trap song from one of my favourite rappers currently in the game, Ski Mask the Slump God, energetic borderline comedy-rapper from Florida who brags with pop culture references constantly littered throughout. You probably know him since he’s gotten pretty big thanks to the release of his album STOKELEY, with this song in particular recently getting a music video directed by Cole Bennett of Lyrical Lemonade fame, hence it counts for this segment. Now, the trap beat is simple and bassy but the synth is almost hypnotising and I like how producer ChaseTheMoney adds what sounds like bongos and tribal percussion at random yet perfect intervals. Ski Mask often changes his flow, with a charismatic performance reflected by both his verses and ad-libs. In the first verse, he talks about how his girl wants to see his “Purple pickle up in the wind” – no comment, with some clever Thanos-related wordplay before that catchy and hilarious chorus, where he not only mentions Ash from the Pokémon anime but how he’s flyer than an ostrich, and he stands by that, I guess. The second verse is just about him buying fast food, but that fast food he’s ordering throughout builds up to a punchline where he asks where his weed his, because he was supposed to be buying “pies” (Drug lingo) instead of actual McDonalds pies. It’s pretty wacky, pretty cool, although it’s a bit short, check it out, and check out some of STOKELEY, especially “Foot Fungus”, “Nuketown” featuring Juice WRLD and “Reborn to Rebel”.

Remember days, me and X hittin’ licks!

God, I can’t seem to be able to escape this dude even in death, huh?

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Black” – Dave

Produced by Fraser T. Smith

This barely charted but I’m so glad it did. This is the lead single from his upcoming album Psychodrama, and in stark contrast to “Funky Friday” with Fredo, this song focuses more on societal issues black people have had to face as the name implies. This is his seventh UK Top 40 hit, and probably his best yet. It starts with a crispy piano melody with even some nice static added to make the beat feel vintage and interesting (Yeah, it isn’t an overpolished trap beat this time). As Dave starts spitting, the drums kick in and slowly some violins creep in and make this beat really cinematic and beautiful. In the verses, Dave describes what being black is, which is being mistreated, and is having to go through struggles and going the extra mile for not the same results as white people would celebrate.

It’s workin’ twice as hard as the people you know you’re better than / ‘Cause you need to do double what they do so you can level them

Dave delves into some fantastic storytelling during the first verse, using walking a (Most likely white) elderly woman across the road without any thanks as an example of the belief in the lyric above, which also briefly references being told during his life, especially early life as a child due to the white-washed media and his living conditions in comparison to how he perceived the white children at the time in fancier, wealthier statuses, that he is more disposable than white people and cannot reach the same heights due to his race, to the point where he just accepts it, and that despite everything he’s forced to do to prove himself as a minority, he’s proud of its race and his ancestry. In the second verse, he speaks of accepting defeat and how he constantly feels the need to shout out all his friends unfairly imprisoned in jail in songs because he would feel guilty otherwise. He also discusses cultural appropriation and how he believes everyone wants to have the culture but not the colour as this means they would be considered cool, but not targeted with any of the discrimination. He ends the first verse with saying that being black is a sour flavour, but excellently switches it to sweet at the end of the second because he knows that white people will want the “flavour” but not the reality. The production furthers the intensity of his delivery and overall, this is way too good to be charting, but deserves all your love. Dave is one of the best in UK rap right now and this proves it, his album is coming out next week, check it out.

#31 – “Murder on My Mind” – YNW Melly

Produced by SMKEXCLSV - Currently charting at #14 on the Hot 100

Oh, speaking of people stuck in jail, introducing YNW Melly. Melly, or Melvin as I think his personality he decided to have on this song is, is a rapper who blew up thanks to a relatively okay collaboration with Kanye West, but since that song dropped out of the charts, people care more about this one mostly due to its confessional nature because of how he seemingly admitted on Instagram that he killed two of his very close friends (No reason provided), also from the YNW collective, and has turned himself in, although he just plead not guilty. It’s not about that, it’s about someone else he killed, I’m pretty sure, and honestly the descriptive, storytelling nature of the song is really cool, and it goes into some (Suspiciously) grim details that I appreciate because most rappers don’t care about that and just drift off topic while this is constantly focused, although his delivery could be less grating, and the beat is just really a cheap FL Studio piano melody under an overpowered bass, although the effort at making a pretty interesting bridge with the pitched-up female vocal samples are appreciated. You can tell it’s amateur, mostly because of how the final verse sounds like it just had some Audacity reverb effects added to it and the record label never changed it to make it sound more professional before having it on Spotify. For what it is, it’s okay, but I can’t really get into this. I think I like “Mixed Personalities” better, to be honest.

#8 – “Walk Me Home” – P!nk

Produced by Peter Thomas and Kyle Moorman - Currently charting at #54 on the Hot 100

Okay, now we have the big one, and I don’t care. Listen, Alecia Moore is a fantastic vocalist and one of the best singers in pop now, potentially pop history as I know it, and is one of the most successful women in the industry, with a clear personality and rebellious sense of humour that was unique. As she’s matured, she’s kept the singing and songwriting talent, but she’s just turned too bland for me to be interested anymore. This song is okay, but it doesn’t have any of the charm she used to have, and I know that’s bound to happen with age but that still doesn’t excuse this mediocre effort for me. It’s a guitar-lead track with pointless pitched-down vocal samples, way too percussion-heavy mixing and rhyming “good” with “good”. It’s a really upbeat, inspiring, motivational cheer-up track that will be a powerful “Wake up in the morning and get everything done” anthem for middle-aged mothers across the nation, but for me, I can only respect the underwhelming songwriting, in which she uses “Mm-hmms” as filler for an empty backing track, which is something I never thought P!nk would HAVE to do, just something she’d WANT to do, but she has no other option here, this instrumental is so wishy-washy and boring. It sure is listenable, guys. Let’s conclude.

Conclusion

I’d feel bad giving P!nk the Worst of the Week because it’s not a bad song, and I can see talent in YNW Melly as well, so screw it, it’s not going to the industry legend OR the nobody who became famous and immediately got charged for double murder afterwards. It’s not going to anyone. Best of the Week goes to Dave for “Black”, obviously, and see you next week.

[phantomstatistician]

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