#Point is it's a difficult balance
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It's a difficult balance to figure out whether or not Bill would actually think before he does something, because on the one hand he IS a trillion years old and is known for being a master manipulator, so I highly doubt he ALWAYS jumps into things before thinking. He has to possess SOME level of intelligence and patience if he was willing to try and make a plan work for, what? Millions of years at this point? When was Weirdmageddon prophesized? ...Okay a BILLION years ago. So I truly don't think that he just jumps headfirst into EVERYTHING without thinking about it first.
On the other hand, he's a fucking idiot with a hair-trigger temper and throws tantrums like he's still five years old so maybe he just has all the luck in the Multiverse that somehow allows him to just get through his immortal life by the seat of his pants. Also 'Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart!'. Dude.
#Hayley Writes Triangulum#Also all the stuff I'm writing takes place after he literally DIED because he did something without thinking (made a deal with Stan)#And then proceeds to jump into something new as soon as he gets re-alived without thinking too hard about it-#-because someone promises that they could destroy the barrier for him if he plays their game#Which ends up biting him in the ass because now he's the Pines' prisoner#Point is it's a difficult balance
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uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)
neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.
#god this was difficult to write bc i have so much more to say about this but i just can’t word it#like i can’t make myself make sense#so i’ll leave it here lol#aftg number analysis#number 4#number 10#neil josten#jean moreau#aftg#all for the game#the number 10 also represents completeness which is seen as neil completes the team allowing them to get to championships#and the number four also represents balance which neil attempts to achieve on the team#by uniting the upper class men and the monsters#i still have so much more to say but i’ll leave it here#stay tuned for more unhinged number analysis#i have to say when i first read the books at 16 i got SO HAPPY when lola burned the four off neil bc HE NO LONGER IS MARKED BY DEATH SO#HE’s GOING TO SURVIVE THIS#but i’ve not seen anyone else point it out
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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me, starting to read the suffering game graphic novel: i wonder how much of the next lunar interlude they're going to include?
*the boys escape wonderland and we're only halfway through the book*
me: heh. i'm in danger.
#original post#taz#taz b#taz balance#taz gn#taz graphic novel#the adventure zone#jesus christ#i figured this book was gonna end on the sturdy denim blue cliffhanger and the next book was going to have LI reunion tour#but they really shoved one of the most detailed arcs plus the last two lunar interludes into one book#like it works but#that's a lot of stuff they cut#some of which is honestly pretty important#like some of them make sense like yes we can very much cut all the times they sacrificed points off their max hp or merle losing darkvision#but magnus forgetting governor kalen.....#i'm really sad that didn't make it#i understand why and they kind of reference it with threatening to make him forget julia but still#and i get that taako losing some of his beauty would be Extremely Difficult to portray visually#but that is one of my all-time favs
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New Scotland Yard: Point of Impact (1.1, LWT, 1972)
"I thought they'd lumber you with it."
"Did you, why?"
"It's a touchy one, isn't it?"
"There's a policeman involved."
"Yeah, unpleasant."
"Always."
"You were bound to get it."
"Thank you."
"Would've never happened at all if it hadn't been for that blasted Law and Order Brigade turning up on the scene, bloody reactionaries."
"Look, spare me the catchphrases, will you? I don't understand what half of them mean, I don't suppose the people who bandy them about do either."
"Well, I happen to know what a reactionary is."
"Good. You must explain it to me in great detail. Some other time."
#new scotland yard#point of interest#lwt#1972#classic tv#tony wharmby#don houghton#john woodvine#john carlisle#bryan marshall#barry warren#claire warren#shirley cain#brian rawlinson#norman jones#basil henson#mel martin#nicholas young#recently trawling a certain You based Tube‚ i stumbled across a user who has uploaded great swathes of old telly‚ to my delight. a lot of#it I've already seen or even own‚ but finding NSY was huge: I've wanted to watch this for a while but the discs are frustratingly hard to#come by at a reasonable price since Network (rip in our hearts forever) went under. so i guess this is my viewing for the near future‚#before a copyright strike inevitably gets them pulled (and i don't think it's every episode that's available either). the series starts#promisingly‚ eschewing a safe and steady introduction for an altogether more challenging issue based ep; a man has died during a scuffle#between socialist protesters and rightwing counter protesters‚ apparently killed by a police officer. our leads must investigate whilst#balancing the difficult tightrope of public opinion‚ avoiding either a whitewash or an unjust persecution. it's heavy‚ polemical stuff but#the script works hard to maintain balance and present nuance‚ with idealists and extremists on either side (and Woodvine's senior copper#stubbornly sticking his feet in the center). it's still copaganda of course‚ but intelligently done nonetheless#we don't learn a great deal about our two leads at this point‚ but their relationship certainly seems spiky (Carlisle is given to making#leaps of deduction and announcing moral absolutes where Woodvine is almost frustratingly impartial to the extreme). plus nice to see#familiar faces like Marshall‚ Jones and Warren among the supporting cast. a very promising opener
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I headcanon Victoria to be a cat without claws, a trait that shaped her personality and interactions with others from a young age. Instead of feeling disadvantaged, compared to her peers, She felt an innate sense of apprehension whenever confronted with situations that hinted at potential physical conflict.
Unlike other kittens who engaged in play fights, Victoria couldn't bring herself to participate. Instead, such scenarios only heightened her sense of caution, making her interactions more hesitant and reserved. Which led her more into hobbies like dance, and maintaining a peaceful demeanor, especially around kittens her age she encountered. Dancing didn’t require touch, at least when Victoria started, it was her escape, her expression, and she could Share it with others without touch. It wasn’t easy without the common stability of claws, but when she found her balance she achieved a grace like no one else.
Her grace gave her an approachable aura, drawing others to her like a magnet, they were captivated by her sense of wonder and inherent softness. This same magnetic presence was evident when she crossed paths with the young Plato, who bore a harsh appearance, a stark contrast to her own gentleness. Despite his exterior, he often cast glances her way, though he remained silent, his curiosity was still palpable.
She had never seen anyone quite like him before. Jenny had brought him in, claiming she had discovered him lurking in a paper bag. Malnourished, wet, and frightened.
He had only been at the junkyard for a week, keeping mostly to himself, and finding solace in the company of the older cats rather than interacting much with those of his own age. When Victoria first noticed him, she couldn't help but feel a sense of compassion. Despite his withdrawn exterior, he appeared only slightly older than her, and his demeanor hinted at a past devoid of love, perhaps even lacking a home altogether. This was evident in his reluctance to forge connections with others, a hesitance Victoria couldn’t help but feel pitiful for.
One afternoon, when Plato was waiting for Jennyanydots to return from patrol outside the car boot she approached him. For a moment, they just stared at one another, not exchanging a word, he didn’t seem all that bothered so Victoria moved closer.
Despite her initial hesitation, Victoria extended her paw to Plato in a gesture of trust and understanding. It was a small act, but one that carried profound significance for both of them. Plato, unused to such displays of kindness, was initially confused but ultimately accepted Victoria's offer, gently holding her paw in his own, wrapping his claws around the area where her claws should be.
Though they came from different backgrounds, Victoria and Plato found solace in each other's company, as they grew up together, their paw-holding was like a secret touch between the two, Plato felt like the piece Victoria had been missing, her dance partner hiding in plain sight and she in turn brought a softness back to his soul that he believed was long gone.
Thank you @seeking-chrysalism for beta reading <3
#my headcanons#Platoria#victoria the white cat#plato cats#jennyanydots#pre canon#stray kitten plato#don't mind me putting my plato and vic were both anxious and awkward as kittens based on that pas de deux moment#just for refrence on why I think Victoria's balance would be difficult without claws I think of her claws as the tips of her toes in Pointe#I'm not sure about this one to be honest but since I'm flopping I might as well share my raw perspectives.#Im posting this now so I don’t keep going back to edit#CH
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*squeezes aine this time*
Read my Yandere! Dottore fics first (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)
Chemistry ๑ Magnum Opus
So @ainescribe decided to surprise me with more Darling fan art, this time of Dottore’s Assistant!! *sobs* I love it so much 。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。
Once again, feedback will be in the tags. Thank you so much for enjoying my writing, Aine <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE ( ;∀;)#THE FACT THAT YOU DREW THIS?? AND SO SOON?? give me a moment. i need to cry happily#fun fact aine has made jokes about assistant and 'dead-eyed desi trauma' so my first thought when seeing this fan art was#'wow you can rlly see the desi trauma in her eyes' xD i say this both jokingly and seriously cuz AHH HER EXPRESSION!!#it's hard for me to describe visual art + techniques but you did such a good job at depicting assistant's emotions#is it bc of the thicker line art used for the eyes + eyebrows?? the lil eyebags/ creases under her eyes?? the uneven shading for her irises#all of that combined with her jaded facial expression and body language?? idk but just know that i love this depiction of assistant#especially since her emotions are an important aspect of her character design (to me at least)#moving on i love your original design for her. once again it's always interesting to see how my readers imagine and depict my darlings#and the way you drew her including the pose and design....she looks like a character from an animated show or visual novel!!#just put her name. caption. and dialogue on the side then she's ready to be romanced. 100% the fan-favorite character <3#i rlly like how you drew her hair!! it looks very fluffy and voluminous (sorry idk many terms for haircare either)#the scar is an interesting detail. makes me wonder if she got it before. during. or after the akademiya?? from an expedition/ experiment??#either way. ohohoho the potential....i imagine the scar serving as a lifelong reminder to assistant of what she has sacrificed for her#scientific curiosity and career. not to mention that the scar is located on her FACE which is 1) the body part most crucial to a person's#identity 2) makes the scar difficult to ignore. to the point that some people may recognize assistant's face mainly bc of her scar#poor assistant. at least dottore is one to appreciate such traits. i can see him administering first aid or lovingly tracing the scar......#moving on to her uniform. i love that it's practical but also stylish in its own way. a perfect balance methinks uwu#the patterned lapels. the lil brooch. the leather armbands. the fatui symbol. the tucked shirt and high-waist pants.....aaaahhhh i just#love these small details!! and it does look like smth which a fatuus would wear on the job~#i think that's all i have to say on assistant!! once again. thank you thank you THANK YOU FOR EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE FOR MY WRITING AND MY#DARLINGS!! it means the world to me and i'll always cherish our rambles and brainrot <3#dottore x reader#yandere dottore x reader#yandere fatui harbingers#fatui x reader#genshin x reader
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been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).
also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)
& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)
the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.
admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy
but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.
#good idea generator#kas plays ironsworn#am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog#idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened#which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps#so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason#but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do#there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control#so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices#or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y#because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it#ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u#i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat#because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one#you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt)#and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat#so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat#(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin#and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else)#you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always#but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table#also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation#because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already#anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem
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hm hm hm i feel like this will be really interesting to read with the knowledge of korra and how that effected her instead.... because korra (from my limited knowledge so i could be talking out my ass here) knew she was the avatar at an early age and DID get that community. she had katara and her parents, she had her mentors, she was isolated from the real world during so and perfected the elements other than air (which i kinda recall her struggling with and how its the opposite element of earth so im excited to see if those kinda play out :3) and she was more eager to be the avatar and the excitement and significance it brought (which was a bit clouded by her being sheltered but also would have been expected more before the war impacted things)
i also remember matty saying kyoshi struggled with earth bending (which im super excited to get to and see/see her journey and how it will differ) but!!! i just think its really fun how theyre kinda off the bat setting up this expectation and new grounding for readers who have a past grasp of the avatar universe. even as someone who isnt super familiar with the lore, i know enough to recognize that oh! thats something new!! so just kudos to the writer(s?) for just setting this up to be something very different and in a natural way :3
#again. talking out my ass here. if im an idiot no one say anything okay? okay <3#but i think its fun to already see some parallels or ways kyoshi and korra are different or similar#and how korra got the set-up stage that was considered ideal (i think?) for these two characters#like !!! the avatar is supposed to know theyre the avatar at a young age!#and aang learning when he was 12 instead?? i think?#or being told hey man you gotta fucking get ready/do your teen duties instead of preeteen ones cause theres a war....#but no sorry my head is scattered i cant keep a line of thought but the point was i know a lot of people bash korra because shes too#‘abrasive’ or comfortable with being the avatar when?? for previous experiences that eagerness was something more expected (i think)#like its so difficult to make a solid grounding argument when im not lore caught up but korras excitement to be the avatar and that she#knows its significant and important is something that would been encouraged before the war because of that hope and belief#that the avatar will keep that balance or save the world when others cant. aang disappearing and the genocide and war#obviously effected how people will see the avatar in universe and how her teachers are more hesitant and restrictive#none of this makes sense im just thinkin to myself while half distracted lol but ! go cringegirl bosses go !!!!#RoK (ransom style)
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it's incredibly not shocking and extremely cool that you're into pits and musk and girlstink and such
anyways, thoughts on piss?
LMAO not shocking huh. 👽 hell yeah homie
it may come as a shock (not) that piss stuff is well within my wheelhouse (and many needy anons have been begging me to draw it for a hot minute lmao) but i've yet to come up with a good idea or composition that i'd want to draw it in. plus i have to figure out how to actually draw the stuff lmao
#impquiry#liquids and other viscous substances are fun to draw in my experience#but a challenge... getting the physics and trajectory to a satisfying point is a difficult balancing act#anyways i'll draw it at some point you freaks#please wait warmly
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#sly cooper#sly cooper and the thievius raccoonus#video games#screenshots#my screenshots#soupy's#I wanna go back and get screenshots of every enemy's lil bio i was wondering when id unlock this one#this is difficult for some enemies cuz you gotta get a vantage point where they wont attack you.#and you cant use the binocucom while balancing#I wasnt nearly as focused on getting all the cue bottles as a kid
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the puppet is lying in a heap when the marionettist takes hold of its control.
the wires straighten as she pulls, running up to pulleys in the ceiling and back down. with fluid, almost human movements, the puppet stands up, hands clasped in front of it, facing its mistress.
"hello, pretty thing," she purrs. the puppet curtsies as the marionettist's deft fingers play its strings. it is a pretty thing, painted and lacquered wood in a short, frilly dress. its flawless face is fixed into the image of a serene expression.
"I'm feeling lonely. wouldn't you keep me company?" she steps closer to the puppet, and lifts up its chin with her free hand. she places a kiss on its cool lips.
the question is a jest, the answer predetermined. the puppet is hers, wholly and utterly and it would do as just as she wished.
the puppet follows the marionettist in a few waltzing spins across the cluttered room, ending with her on the edge of the bed. the puppet kneels, impassive eyes watching its mistress strip one-handed. she spreads her legs to it, running her hand up her thigh.
the puppet leans in, hands on her inner thighs, and runs its segmented tongue between the marionettist's lips, flicking at the clit in rhythm to the minute twitches of the control. her deep, lingering breaths sound out in the quiet room.
"slower," the marionettist breathes, and without delay the puppet slows, with long licks and gentle circles. it's a nimble thing, precise in its servitude. the marionettist leans her head back.
"my pretty little toy," she says, biting her lip, then twitches with a sharp moan. "there," she says, and the puppet's tongue replicates its motion, growing faster with each flick. Soon its mistress lacks the breath for orders, but strings yank it to right where it is needed, force its tongue deeper inside her. the pretense falters and the puppet is reduced to an instrument of her pleasure, her fingers blurring in furious motion.
she orgasms and the puppet shudders and twitches and writhes in an echo of its mistress's thrashing. finally it falls limp on the floor. the marionettist pants, exhausted and euphoric. after some long moments, she reaches for the control, swaying from the ceiling. the puppet rises and goes to lie down next to her.
she wraps her arms around it, pulls it against her, and strokes its hair, smiling all the while.
#puppet#my writing#not technically monsterfucking?#really should figure out the tags at some point#anyway this was fun to write#a bit more avant garde than the previous stuff#a POV character with no interiority is a difficult balance to strike
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I'm by no means an Ilia hater. He's a fantastic athlete. I'm not big on his programs this year specifically (short is a bit boring and the free feels more like an exhibition), but I've enjoyed the ones he had the past two seasons before (Succession and Malagueña were particularly strong).
But, and I will not deny this at this point, damn does watching him make me miss Nathan so much.
#nathan's controlled skating#the precision in which he executed his choreo#and just the language of movement#he was never flailing#even in his 'fun' choreo sequences#it was always much more difficult than he made it look#the admiration he had for ice dancers and the insistence he had for training with them for weeks on end every year#his hands and his pointed toes#he had the jumps but he also had that#you see a step sequence like caravan and the skill it takes to be deliberately off kilter and off balance there#it's not something you really see acknowledged#it's no wonder king of step sequences kurt browning was so in love with his skating#that's a trained ballet dancer for you#such a gifted athlete and people reduced him to quads and ugly shirts (and ok yeah the shirts are pretty ugly but still)#rn i am clinging onto yuma because i truly believe he is the best skater in the world#(my preferred chaos child is of course kao 😂)
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I am conceptually quite into hanahaki but I think there’s been like three actual hanahaki fics ever that I liked.
#it’s the whole ‘you can’t force yourself to feel a certain way about a person no not even if it WERE their literal life in the balance’#alongside a certain ‘yes it really can hurt that much’#that second one is why I tend to dislike ones where it’s about confessing rather than having it requited - not in principle but because#in practice they tend to eschew that straight glamorization* of the pain#and at some point if not all the way through go ‘wasn’t that silly of you?’#when to me the POINT of Hanahaki (and you could do this with the confessing version but people usually don’t)#is the opposite#it’s to validate how difficult it is#hm okay I just realized what was different about one of the ones I liked!#yes the love was secretly requited and they were both coughing up flowers#but at no point was there a hint that it could have been avoided#it was Downton Abbey Thomas/Edward and like#they were Kept from being together by circumstance#and the flowers enabled people who cared about them to realize what might be happening and move the earth to change the circumstances#there was no ‘you sillies it was requited all along!’ feeling#wow ratio of tag content to post content really goofy here
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anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:
which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for
#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me#i cant write donna ive never written donna#i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4#but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha#bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking#except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections#she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends#And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt#dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now#thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even#this doctor#all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna#polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings#that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with#bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz#maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those#yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place#shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely#more that than the secret crush thing that it was#and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it#if theyre gonna talk abt it#and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that#trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS#anyway so. tldr. Complicated#complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff#which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can
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the most difficult part about group projects is not doing everything yourself
#to be serious i obviously want to respect everyone's time and efforts but sometimes it's genuinely very difficult to find a balance between#evreyone contributing in ways they would prefer and the output being good. what do you do when someone is bad at something yet enthusiastic#if this was baking a cake or something else i wouldn't give a shit but this is university and we have constructed but objective guidelines#clearly this is only a problem if you're a bad person like me who prioritizes results over how people feel in situations where we're graded#i am as polite as possible but how do i gently say let me do everything over for you#what makes this even more difficult is my own inability to start things early so this problem is double my fault - at the point#where i would have my thing done others have completed their work already before so i'm always overstepping#even if i'm ready before the deadline as well. the others are just faster overall#i'm fully aware how arrogant and insufferable i am and this is btw i know the people working with me are extremely talented in their ways#and carry skills i don't have etc etc but fuck some of the things i have to redo are sooooo simple and this way of working#is extremely inefficient because on top of doing my own work i have to look over the work of others and i know that's because i want#to do so and it's not their fault but at the same time they all did say they're aiming for the highest grade so what gives#i'm actually the worst person to have as a group work member </3 genuinely horrible. i've decided for now just let what is there slide and#emphasize giving credit about all the work the people have done rightly to them and then just quietly fix it later for the final submission#shit talking
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