#Plant Your Flowers Water Your Flowers
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*casually posts this at the same time to further my agenda of growing native plants instead of grass and shitty ornamentals*
#gardening#water conservation#biodiversity#kill your lawn#native plants#native pollinators#pollinator garden#climate change#sustainability#environmental rehabilitation#habitat restoration#wildflowers#native flowers#animals#water crisis#didnt mean to post that grass one whoops. i think i skimmed it and wasnt thinking about it too much#but ig its true grass would be better than roads. lets just uh. make it native grass yaknow?
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thing my therapist told me today: everything worth getting is worth a little bit of suck
#i was lamenting to her about moving out in a few months again where i will know Nobody and have to Force myself to go out and make friends#and she was like well yeah you might as well probably go through 10 people before you find someone you click with. but thats life#and youre just socially inexperienced <== CALLED ME BITCHLESS?????#and then she went Yes so it will be so annoying for you but you will have to do it mad. like watering a plant <== I FAIL AT WATERING FLOWER#chat
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february is the worst possible reward I can think of for having made it through january
#you threw your keys in the water i looked down they'd frozen halfway down in the ice#they froze up so quickly (the keys and their owner) even after the anger it all turns silent#and the everyday grows solitary so we've come to february#first we forgot where we'd planted those bulbs last year and then we forgot that we planted at all#then we forgot what plants are altogether#and i blamed you for my freezing and forgetting#and the nights are long and cold and scary can we live through february?#you know i think christmas was a long red glare shot up like a warning#we have presents without cards and then the snows#and then the snows came we were always out shoveling and we'd drop to sleep exhausted#and we'd wake up and it's snowing#and february was so long that it lasted into march and saw us walking a path alone together#i stopped and pointed and you said 'that's a crocus' and i said 'what's a crocus?' and you said 'it's a flower'#i tried to remember but i said 'what's a flower?' you said 'i still love you'#the leaves were turning as we drove to the hardware store#my new lover have me keys to the house#and when we got home well we just started chopping wood cause you never know how next year will be#and we'll gather all our arms can carry#i have lost to february#<- this has been a production of Doth Reciting Dar Williams Lyrics In Tags#thank you for your time#and as always forgive any mistakes as that was straight up from memory
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One thing I've found important but also sometimes difficult to learn is that the difference between a 'butterfly garden' and a 'biodiverse habitat' is that you gotta accept that sometimes things are gonna die.
This isn't to say that you shouldn't try to tend to things. If I find a bunch of oleander aphids harassing some of my young milkweed plants, I'll get the hose and spray them off no problem--hard to tend a garden and save milkweed seeds if they're getting the life sucked out of them before they can even go to seed. If I see a lot of snails starting to devour some of my flowers and turn them into brown mush, I'll pick them off and toss them to the neighborhood ducks.
But with that being said, creating a biodiverse environment for wildlife means there's gonna be prey animals and predator animals, and some insects may fill several niches. I plant milkweed and other flowers so monarchs and other insects can enjoy them as a host plant and a nectar source. Some years, I can barely even find large caterpillars because the wasps just go ham and pig out. That doesn't mean I'm gonna hunt down any and every wasp nest and spray it to death for being oh-so-mean to my precious baby caterpillars! They're just trying to survive, just like everything else in my garden!
And in the grand scheme, everything is part of a cycle that feeds everything else. The caterpillars feed the wasps, which then feed the cardinals and chickadees and mocking birds. Later in the summer, I always see some ladybugs, and my aphid problems drop even without me bringing out the hose. Sure, the snails are a major problem for me, right now. But they might be feeding things I'm not even seeing, late at night--like blindworms, or possums, or frogs, and maybe even the birds are going at them when I'm not outside.
The literal basis of my pollinator garden is so things can eat other things--the caterpillars feed on the milkweed, after all. I can't deny that they're part of an ecosystem, and the effort in trying to just sprays poisons everywhere for no real reason.
If I really wanted to, I could try and collect every single tiny little baby caterpillar and keep them in a little container, so I can rear them by hand, if it hurts too much to think of them getting eaten by wasps. My next door neighbor did that. Brought in 26 caterpillars to protect them from outside enemies, and promptly ran out of milkweed. Out of all that, only maybe 10 tops made it. And the instant she set out her stripped-bare plants again, there were already more monarchs coming in and laying seeds on the stems of plants that just barely were starting to leaf back out.
Nature's a balancing act. Monarchs have been dealing with pests like wasps through all this time. Every time I wonder where the caterpillars are, I sure can still find a few dozen eggs on my plants. Butterflies are still dropping by, still laying tons of eggs on my plants. And it's not like I go out there five times a day to count caterpillars--for all I know, there could still be dozens of those little guys growing up where I don't even see them.
I feel like I'm losing my point. Long story short, if wasps are eating some caterpillars in my backyard, I'm not gonna lose my mind. I want my garden to be part of a wider ecosystem, not a members-only club.
#ani rambles#out of queue#pollinator gardening#'but Ani if you don't mind things dying in your garden why are you killing snails' I spent MONEY on those plants#and they're always my non-milkweed favorites they're going after!!!#coneflowers rudbeckias zucchini squash foxglove I'm not allowed to have nice things because of those fuckers#am I being a bit unfair to them???? maybe#but also you try picking off 100 goddamn snails from your fuckin flowers after a rainy day and see how you feel#'ani make your garden less moist to handle the snail problem' I live in FLORIDA#if I don't water things'll bake OR it'll just rain anyways for three days straight and all of a sudden my rudbeckias are dead#I need to attract some goddamn snail eating frogs but until then im putting them in a bucket and feeding them to#the ducks that live in my neighborhood
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🌺Grand Rising ✨ Enjoy your 🌞 Dei
#grand rising#🌞#your sun has risen🌞✨#me#blacktumblr#blackgirlmagic#black tumblr#house plants#indoor plants#plants#let me water my plants#flowers#madagascar periwinkle#periwinkle#plant mom#caribbean#beauty#tumblrgirl#love
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I hate to be like that on al gore's internet bur I grew up with an inconsiderate mother and. sometimes someone can just be inconsiderate and a decent human being, and you cannot just define a relationship as abusive because they don't gage how much your hobby means to you. like yeah my mom thinks I overspend on books but she also like... sacrificed her life for me to get an education, I don't think it's that big of a deal if she doesn't know my favorite soda lol.
#its that hydrangea video like#sorry if you tell someone to divorce over flowers youre crazy#like yes its shitty but you also don't know these people's relationship#i hate defending a man but this is a very toxic mindset#again if you feel constantly and systemically belittled and unsupported and its not watering the plants that gets you#thats normal and you should leave#but people sometimes are. dicks.
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wind was fucking up my flowers massively so I cut them and brought them inside however they’re the infamous flower my idiot cat tried eating a couple days ago which ISNT ALLOWED!!! so although I have hayfever and whatnot, I’m keeping the flowers bc the only rooms in which cats aren’t allowed into without direct supervision is my room (very breakable things, very messy, I don’t trust them) and the toilet (Mochi will unwind the entire toilet paper roll and it’s annoying as shit) so! after having moved the carnation Out of my room and into the toilet earlier this week, that left only one option for my poor anemone poppies (windflowers) and one hyacinth lol
#yep yep#the wind fucking up all my flowers would’ve made me incredibly fucking upset#so cutting them and bringing them inside was better for me#my mood would’ve been so off otherwise#bc although they sometimes look ugly#I’m very very proud of my little flowers I’ve managed to grow#granted my tulips did not regrow and neither did the other little blue ones#but that’s okay bc my big ol pot of hyacinths and my little windflowers have#and to me that’s good enough. 3 outta 5 is better than none!!#and so I wanna plant more flowers and try my luck again#y’know. the serotonin of seeing my hard physical work come back to life every year… very satisfying#ooc#if you’re not crafty but depressed and need smth to do with your hands#trying planting a flower outside#one that’s sturdy and isn’t too fragile. one you can accidentally miss watering for a day or two y’know#it’s good and exciting to see them bloom
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genuinely i think a lot of you would actually be fixed if you went out and volunteered for something you believe in
#this whole ‘it’s all pointless. what does it matter? we’re sinking into fascism anyways so who cares’ mentality is from spending too much#time online#go volunteer with a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. find a nature conservation org near you and help clean trash from rivers.#plant pollinator flowers in your yard. dedicate some hours to a pet shelter. find local lgbt+ community spaces and see if they need#any volunteers. write post cards to turn out voters. go to a school board meeting. check if there are elections happening near you and pick#a candidate you can stand behind and see if they need help canvassing.#just go do something productive and try to help people.#this is like the equivalent of asking someone in a bad mood to drink some water. eat something. take a shower. take a nap. and see#how it makes them feel. doomerism comes from apathy. the best way to counter apathy is through action.
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#tag drop#[ guizhong. ] many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow.#[ guizhong: ic. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains.#[ guizhong: inquiries. ] hmph. she always had a way with words.#[ guizhong: countenance. ] and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand.#[ guizhong: introspection. ] although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other.#[ guizhong: etc. ] it took an elaborate treasure hunt to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization.#[ guizhong: mortals. ] at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them.#[ guizhong: guili plains. ] as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.”#[ guizhong: liyue. ] perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become.#[ guizhong: realm of clouds. ] a voyage to a sanguine sky.#[ guizhong: mechanical arts. ] in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts.#[ guizhong: glaze lilies. ] they were far more abundant back then. entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers.#[ guizhong: adepti. ] until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end.#[ guizhong: morax. ] whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed.#[ guizhong: morax. ] when our eyes meet; eternity is defined. [ delusionaid. ]#[ guizhong: xiao. ] if darkness comes; colors you with fear; be still and know that i'm with you and i will say your name. [ apocryphis. ]#[ guizhong: marchosius. ] who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight of him: we would drop any argument.#[ guizhong: streetward rambler. ] it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away.#[ guizhong: cloud retainer. ] we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other.#[ guizhong: osial. ] she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing to the harmony of the water. was this his song?#[ guizhong: sea gazer. ] he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off.#[ guizhong: skybracer. ] to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. in fact; they thought higher of him than the lord of geo.#[ guizhong: ganyu. ] if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies?#[ guizhong: v. descension. ] she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around.#[ guizhong: v. guili assembly. ] it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains.#[ guizhong: v. archon war. ] they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered.#[ guizhong: v. present. ] all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it.#[ guizhong: meta. ] her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been.
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Misc daily life images
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. COLUMBINEEEE... (I think..???) one of my favorite flowers... I managed to grow a small one in a pot last year. huzzah#2. spicy soup for lunch (another very rare lunch since I usually eat literally the same exact thing every day for my stomach#issues and stuff lol).. also made a fruit smoothie but put tapioca boba in it out of curiosity.. which was weird#3. woven cucumber shavings.. one of the many little meticulous tasks that I find oddly fun and could probably do for hours#4. A RED FOUR LEAF CLOVER!!!! There are some patches of clover in the yard that have weird red coloring and red spots on them#almost like it's some sort of damage or something but it seems natural (and I wonder if it has to do with plants that grow around them at#all since these 'green clovers but where some of them are variously spotted in red' patches happen to be next to patches of weeds/#grouncover that also have red stems and stuff.) but so in the yard it is rare to find a red clover#and also rare to find a four leaf clover. so a RED four leaf clover is the most rare... special child..#5. bapy son on the heating pad (featuring my stinky little toast shaped 2ds lol... i wonder if theyve been obsolete so long that maybe#3ds are actually affordable now (under $100).. hrmm...)#6. Another wii fit mingame score. I'm not sure if this is even lower than the other ones or anything. I never go back to compare them lol#if a score seems good enough to possibly be my best I just take apicture of it anyway. I should probably at some point check what#the 'best' even actually is. I wish the wii always told you ur Best score instead of just your Last score on those games. It does on every#other game but seemingly not the daily fitness check in minigame ones. hrmm..#7. little clovery things covered in beautiful water droplets#8. sky again. of course#photo diary
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going to local ER instead since I’m losing too much blood, way too fast! last week was bad but this is scary and I need to be monitored ASAP!
#I’ll be watching all of your recs when I’m there 🙏#I also have so many updates and posts that I haven’t felt the guts to ever say#I’m sorry I’ve been a bad mutual but I’ve been a bad friend to all the online friends and friends from my university#im lucky I live in a condo community w/ lots of extention of family + help! my coastal city - particularly our part of the city#in a particular building where we all meet up together in the front on weekends#even at my sickest - I’m still pretty involved since we see eachother physically & I love cooking + baking for everyone on a 2x monthly#and we all walk the dogs together every afternoon in our dog walking by the harbor group#even then these old people have me in a group text and drop flowers off for me and me for them#living in a community is so helpful but it open my eyes that I’m not even just sick or even a bad friend but those two factors strained#my online relationships bc the effort was so much behind the scenes w/ my health and even typing something out that it makes messaging or#even blogging but I’d like to change that bc I want to be more overt online#and I explain how that relates to Palestine and findinfing joy + $$$ in this end stage capitalist nightmare#I want to be better but I also want to show people the joys of my city (a literal hidden gem yet is a national park) and so between fusing#ideas of environmentalism - community out reach & even descalation of yt Supremacist mentalities when doing outreach + volunteer#even our coastal environmental causes to such great causes that help indigenous latinx members of our community in particular#their rights and their accomplishments in agriculture & how fruitful this place is#we have the best strawberries + berries since they are indigenous plants but anyways from environmentalism to damn farmers markets#I live in a slice of heaven so why leave to go to LA and NYC when I create such beautiful joy by the ocean every day#we have such incredible water views in our condo along with the stunning plain mountains framing the water and sea of palm trees#every sunset is like Santa Barbara (we close!) w/ pink/purple/orange skies that are so vibrant that they make you take pictures constantly#especially with the herons nested there w/ there babies - so close to#is that we watch them all day long + the other coastal birds#all this Shit is random but I realized that if I put my effort into a few things academically that I haven’t even shared in these tags -#that I can have an incredibly fulfilling life while sick as long it pays for itself and I think I can do it w/ a few different plans I’m#creating but I’m setting up a couple of businesss for passive income - go back to grad schooo but for medical research or political science#IR my old life of international relations and start publishing my research on Palestine and Jewish studies#I just need to publish either medical or political but if I do that - have my east businesses that not only highlight my life#but may help the people and animals of my city#but I feel the change finally coming and maybe it took something like this to wake me up#so many funny typos but this was just a quick way to explain that I need to be more comfortable on video + online w/ you all but on tiktok
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idk who needs to hear this but growing native plants is not hard at all, at all
#you could be starting seeds RIGHT NOW assuming your last frost date is some time in april or somethin#put the seeds in the fridge in moist sand or a moist paper towel#if its too late buy them from the fuckin store somewhere. or wait till next fall and toss em on the ground after mild tilling#throw some metal mesh of some sort over it to protect it from the rodents and BOOM. there ya go. the seeds are cheap asf too#its hard to kill a native plant. they naturally grow in that environment for a reason.#you can go a day or two without watering sometimes in summer and still be fine (depending on the plant ofc & if theyre potted)#idk its just. like. so easy. everyone could do it. everyone SHOULD do it.#in an apartment? get a window flower pot and plant some in there.#no excuses to not try and do the bare minimum. every piece of turf grass you see should fill you with violent rage to the point where#your body feels physically compelled to grow native plants in retaliation.#some you can even grow inside. i have some vine cuttings im growing inside rn that i started some time last year at the end of summer#from a wild plant outside. just look up how to grow it. watch the jankiest video you can find first.#i trust the guy with the scuffed set up thats shakily holding his phone scooping home-made dirt into a red solo cup over the#pristinely filmed shots of a garden and a man all dressed up nice#i mean idk hes prolly got some good advice too i just trust the other guy more ykno#give a fuck#literally tho this vine is so tall rn its touching my ceiling sdvvfsdhgdfs idk wtf imma do with it.#but i love it and its one of my favorite native plants and i LITERALLY grew it in a fuckin red solo cup.
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Straight up if I make a mistake tell me at the time of the mistake.
I don’t fucking care how embarrassing you think it will be at time of mistake for me, it will be embrassing but not that bad. Just pull me aside and tell me I fucked up it is not that hard.
If a friend can’t call out their friends bullshit, they are not friends.
Either you are not-friends one of two ways, you feel we have an uneven dynamic where you can say shit to me either in concern for my wellbeing or yours, or you think its fine if I continuously fuck up said thing which is then harmful to me when I am around people that do not give me grace that my friends do.
If you let me continue on after making a mistake it will be like “you let me walk out of a bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe and someone took a picture of me like that” levels of embarrassing later.
mistakes are so normal and human and inevitable and necessary and real. if i make one however please put me to death
#Embarrass me please and thank you#its for my own good#If you cannot call me on my bullshit you do not deserve me in your life#Either because I am toxic to you or you are to me#I want to grow but I can never do that if someone doesn’t point out my mistakes#Water the mistakes plant please#It needs to grow tall and strong so it can become a beautiful flower
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💐 The mystery of life is that we don't know how our story ends, but we can plant our seeds of intention today, water and tend to them to create the future we desire. 🧑🌾
One day, when you least expect it, those flowers will bloom. 🌱 Trust the process and keep at it. 🪴
💐 The mystery of life is that we don't know how our story ends, but we can plant our seeds of intentions today, water and tend to them to create the future we desire. 🧑🌾
One day, when you least expect it,
those flowers will bloom. 🌱
Trust the process and keep at it. 🪴
#plant#seed#seeds#garden#gardening#flowers#intentions#dreams#create it#prosperity#manifest#reality#effort#work hard#pay attention#stay focused#water#loving care#be patient#follow your dreams#empowerment#spiritual art#daily motivation#positive mindset#successful#breakthroughs#persistence#law of attraction#stay positive#spiritual
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My hibiscus can't keep leaves for some fucking reason yet it has the energy to make more flowers
Buddy, why...
#i cannot for the life of me figure out why its leaves are turning yellow like that and falling off#i changed the soil. im watching how much/little water i give it. i didnt see any signs of root rot when i repotted it. the pot was scrubbed#thoroughly and rinsed well before planting#idk what i did to it#maybe the soil isnt acidic enough? one site said they like peat#maybe i should change out the soil and add the peat in with it???#idk what to do#but the little shit is still producing flowers for some reason#that takes up so much energy baby boy#spend that energy on your leaves ffs
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𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨
ᥫ᭡ 𝙨𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝… 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙪𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙧𝙖! 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚! 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
ᥫ᭡ 𝙘𝙬: 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩, 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 '𝙪𝙜𝙡𝙮' 𝙖𝙣𝙙 '𝙨𝙡𝙪𝙩', 𝙗𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙬𝙘: 2.7k
𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
Your day went as normal as usual.
You walked with you head held high, a pep in your step as you wondered around the large estate claimed by Sukuna. Alongside you, was one of your loyal handmaids, ordered by Sukuna to accompany you by default. It was early morning, as you heard the talkative birds chirp in the crisp air. It was very relaxing, especially for you, who was often picked on by your fellow concubines, who were supposed to support you.
As you stepped onto the stone walkway that led to your beloved garden, you noticed the flowers slightly dwindling in color, as the stems had lost their pin point shape. This made you frown, as you realize you had forgot to water them recently. Your handmaiden follows behind you respectfully, as you walk through the rows of colorful flowers.
"You must really enjoy the flowers, my lady." You handmaiden pointed out, coming to that conclusion as she had watched you tend to the flowers every day without fail. It was something she admired about you greatly, that being your calm nature, even under the circumstance of Sukuna wanting you to be monitored 24/7. She felt some sort of pity, even through her love for Lord Sukuna. "Yes, I am quite fond of them. They are very beautiful, but they look very dull today..." You say through your pouting.
You walk over to the gardening table over by the end of the conservatory, as you put on your gardening gloves, as well as putting your hair in a high ponytail. Your handmaiden looks at you with her head tilted, questioning your motives. "My lady, you should not be getting your hands dirty. I suggest you stick to watering instead of doing the dirty work." She said, worried about what Lord Sukuna would think if he saw his favorite consort getting her pretty hands dirty. You look over at her while carrying a bag of soil, walking over to the start of where the flowers were.
"Its fine, really. He wont even know I was here today, hes out for a business meeting. Uraume informed me he may not return for a couple of days." You said, reassuring her, as you kneel down to tend to the garden. "Okay, if it is what you wish..." She says, looking around to see if anybody was watching. "I will just stay here and keep watch."
As you patted down the soil, you sprinkled water over the plants, the glass of the garden house letting the sunlight shine in. You looked at your work as you were halfway through, proud of the work you had so far accomplished. But as you were admiring your handiwork, you heard a group of heavy footsteps walk into the large garden house. You were not expecting anybody else to come here except for you, so who was it. Oh, of course, its them.
A group of three notorious mid ranking concubines, followed by one high ranking one. You audibly sighed, knowing what would follow suite. They laughed when they saw the sight before them. Sukuna's favorite? Doing a maids work? It was laughable to them. Was this finally the moment Lord Sukuna kicked you to the curb, and realized your true worth? That was what they hoped for in the end, but for now, they had to have their moment of joy, which was picking on you.
"My, my, my. Look at what we have here. Little Y/N is out doing the work of those lower than her? What did you do to make Lord Sukuna that upset?" The lead woman spoke, cackling along with the other girls. Your face distorted into that of annoyance. You looked at the girl straight in the eyes, preparing to attempt to defend yourself. "Why are you all here? To ridicule me? If you must know, I chose to tend to the garden."
One of the girls standing behind the lead scoffs, stepping slightly forward. Looking at your handmaids, then to you. "You really are pathetic, if you must need that woman with you at all times." She says, gesturing her hand towards your handmaiden. Your handmaiden looks away, too afraid to talk back to the likes of somebody a higher rank than her. "It would be a damn shame if you got dirt on your precious face, it's already messed up, you aren't the prettiest woman ever." Another one adds in, creating more fuel to the fire by taking a jab at your appearance.
This stroke a nerve in you, your self esteem slowly crumbling as they go on. The lead concubine takes a step closer to your kneeling form, looking down on you as if you were nobody. She crouches down to your eye level, grabbing your chin on each side with her fingers. "I really don't see what Lord Sukuna saw in you. He must not be very interested in you anymore. You are nowhere near perfect. Especially after your massive weight gain." She says, knowing the damage she is doing to you. She lets go of your chin, pushing you slightly back. "It wont be long before he gets rid of you for good, hopefully as soon as possible. We don't need an ugly duckling the likes of you waddling around the well known beauty of Lord Sukuna's estate." She says, brushing astray dirt off her kimono, as the girls behind her laugh at her words.
You feel tears forming in your eyes, as you try your best to hold them back and to not lash out at the woman, you mouth hanging agape from shock. But you are not as slick as the woman currently standing before you. She looks at you, a smirk crossing her fair face in accomplishment. "Aw, whats wrong? Are you going to cry? Your already the biggest slut in the palace, I don't need to call you more hurtful things."
And this was the last push to send you over the edge, as you felt hot tears spill from your eyes. The girls laughed louder, mocking your weak state. You panicked, as you got up, pushing the woman out fo your way as you ran out of the garden house, your gloves still on, your ponytail messy. You ran as far away from the scene as you could, as your handmaiden ran after you, pure shock in her eyes. Embarrassment crept up your spine, as you ran all the way to the opposite side of the wing of the garden, out of sight from any onlookers. How were you to face anybody?
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You lay sorrowful in your large bed, curled up into a ball as you cradled your knees. Your eyes were puffy with sorrow, as warm tears streamed down your face, all the way down to your chest. Your nose was stuffy, snot running trickling down your nose. Used tissues covered the bed like a sea, as your handmaiden handed you more. She rubbed your back, as she sat on the edge of the bed watching you.
"My lady, please don't cry." She said, worried for you and your morale. You look up at her through wet eyelashes, as you sniffled into a half dirty tissue she held up for you. "Easy for you to say, you don't know what its like to be me. It feels like every single day, the people of the estate seem to hate me even more, and I try so hard to avoid it. I just don't know how to endure it anymore." You say, your lower lip quivering.
Your handmaiden looks at you pitifully. She feels like she knows you so well. She felt like your only true friend since being welcomed into Sukuna's estate. So it hurt to see you like this, especially after witnessing the unfair treatment you had received throughout your time here. The slow hand that once rubbed your back moved up to move the loose hair from your face, letting her see your full face out on display. But instead, you cover it, by moving your head more towards the pillows, the concubines words clearly getting to your head.
But she saw right though you. "My lady, the things those girls have said are simply untrue. I'm sure they were just saying that to get a rise out of you. They want what they cannot have, especially your close relationship with Lord Sukuna." You stop into your own world and think about it. Yes sure, you knew jealousy was a big factor in their distaste in you, but then why would they say such specific things? Were you truly all of those things they said you were?
"I'm sure it stemmed from what they truly want from you. All they want are reactions like these from you-" She says, but intervened by none other than the man himself, the head of the entire estate, Sukuna, who had came home unexpectedly earlier than usual.
Your handmaiden from what seems like instinct, immediately gets up to bow, anxiety filling her system for the largely built man standing before her. "Just what the hell do you think you are doing in my quarters uninvited?" He asks, unamused by the sudden appearance by anybody other than you. He looks down at her, waiting impatiently for an answer. "My lord, I was just tending to My lady, Y/N. She seemed in distress after a sudden altercation-" Without a second thought, he pushes her out of the way with his foot. Searching for you. He hears sorrowful sniffles coming from his large bed, as he raises his eyebrow in confusion. Who is in his bed? Ahh, it you, something must have happened.
You look up slightly from the bed to be greeted by Sukuna's broad stature, as you turn away from him, not wanting to face the fact that you failed to stand up for yourself. You had always made it a point to prove that you were strong willed, but this time around, you had failed. And failure is something you had feared around the likes of Sukuna.
He walks over to the opposite side of the bed that you were on, not wanting to upset you further, knowing how you become when you are upset. You try to muffle your sniffling, but to no avail. He looks at your chest rise and fall quickly, due to the nature of your fast breathing. A loud, audible sigh is heard behind you, the sound of it making chills creep up your spine. He then looks over at the handmaiden, who is still kneeling on the floor. "Leave." He says to her, as she quickly gets up to take her leave, not stopping to say anymore goodbyes.
He then looks back at you, who is unable to turn his way. "Whats wrong brat? Are you going to explain what happened, or are you just going to lay there like a sappy little thing." He says, crawling into bed, grabbing hold of your waist. He notices you flinching, keeping it in mind that when you are sad, you become sensitive to touch. He slowly brings you into his chest, your legs straddling his lower waist. Your body shakes as you hide your face within his chest, getting his robe wet with your snot.
"Look at me." He orders you, clearly not liking the mood you are in. But you don't move. Instead, you move your head side to side, still hiding your face from sight. Your head nuzzles further into his chest, as you move your arms to either side of his waist, hugging him deeply as you inhale his scent. You feel your tears keep running, as you use his robe to wipe them. "I told you to look at me, I wont repeat myself a third time." He said, sternly informing you. You didn't want to upset him, so you slowly look up at him, barely being able to hold eye contact. His eyebrows slightly furrow, as he slightly adjusts himself on the bed.
"Christ, what happened to you woman?" He says, using his upper left hand to wipe away the tears staining your face. He brushed his thumb over your cheek, but quickly stopping realizing how intimate that was. You hesitated before you spoke. "Its just... there are these girls, and I feel like ever since you became a part of my life, I have been tormented by them." You said, the thought of them ridiculing you flooding back into your mind like a storm, causing more tears to flood your waterline. "Torment? How so?" He asks, wanting to hear more.
"Like today for example, I was just trying to tend to the garden, and they came in and- its just- its complicated." You said, not wanting to spill the full details, worried of his reaction. "What did those woman do." He said. It was more of him trying to figure out what happened, than a question towards you. But you felt your emotions run high, causing you to completely unfold before Sukuna. "They came in, and they basically told me I would never amount to anything, and how i'm ugly, and that I gained weight recently."
He looks at you, his upper lip curling into that of disgust for what he just heard. You? Ugly? Never amount to anything? Gaining weight? This was all ridiculous to him. He would never truly understand why you were upset at being called those things, but he particularly did not like the reaction you had to it. Seeing you cry, for some reason, tore on his heart strings hard. Your emotions ran through him like an electrical current. He lowered his back into the mattress, still holding you tight.
"That has to be one of the most absurd things I have heard in my years of living. You are none of those things. Why would I care about such laughable things. You're my woman, nobody else is able to judge you, except for me."
You look at him with glossy eyes, as you place your hands over his chest, which had a wet patch due to the mixture of your snot and tears. You felt your lip quiver all over again at his words, thus resting your face on one side of his chest. You let all your tears run out, as you felt yourself quietly wail at the hands of Sukuna. He placed a large hand over your back, massaging your back, soothing you simultaneously.
"Thats it, let it all out. God, you look so weak right now, its quite endearing." He says, a slight smile being hidden from your field of vision. You grip onto the ridges of his robe, using it to try to grab onto something. His lower hands grip each side of your bottom, holding you for leverage. As he massaged your back, he pet your hair with his other top hand. Your hair was always one of his favorite things about you, which is something that stuck in your head. The words of your handmaiden ran through your head as well;
'They want what they cannot have, especially your close relationship with Lord Sukuna.'
It was true after all. And you will come to realize that as time goes on. How lucky did you get to become Sukuna's most favored? Any other girl in your situation would think the same way. Especially the way he is giving you so much attention. It makes you so happy. Knowing those girls would give anything to be in your situation. You felt like a princess.
You felt yourself fall into deep slumber, the comfort of your thoughts, along with Sukuna's relaxing hold bringing you comfort in moments like these. He looks down at you as he notices you had seized your crying. He thinks about moving from his spot, but decides against it, not wanting to ruin your beauty sleep. You needed this, he thinks. And he was right. He brushes the hair that covers your ear out of the way with his hand, as he leans down to whisper into your sleeping form.
"You can trust, those woman will be dealt with accordingly."
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
(𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙩 2?)
#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#heian sukuna#heian era sukuna#heian sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x Charlotte#heian#heian era#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x Charlotte#jjk smut#sukuna fluff
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